#I CAN NO LONGER LIVE WITH MYSELF
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mwah @bad--but-sad-boy
#this is indeed something alex would enjoy#i hear alex fr#she did leave me produce the science building that one time tho#so ur still my number five pookie#along with gaston#alex can be number six#WAIT HOLD UP#NEVER MIND#EVERYONE IS DOWN ONE PLACE SO JULIA IS ON TOP#HOW COULD I EVER FORGET JULIA#I CAN NO LONGER LIVE WITH MYSELF#it's okay tho i think.#n e wayz#send the pic to pippin#even tho she never checks anyways
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every time I say “starting nooooow I won’t have any major expenses” something HAPPENS! there’s raw sewage backing up from my drains, and apparently the plumbers will need to break the floor and the wall to get to the pipes and fix it.
if the cat stuff hadn’t wiped out my bank account, this would be annoying but manageable. as it is…..I’m going to try to get everything up in the store for Friday.
#it’s hard because I’m trying not to push myself too hard with mono#the nerve damage stuff is scary#so I’m doing my best to have a zen attitude about all these goings on#but like another surprise 3.5k expense?? how is anyone supposed to live in this world?#there will reach a point where I’m forced to sell this house.#because I don’t know how much longer I can do this all#sorry to be nothing but complaints recently. but things have been hard!
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dad seb dad seb dad seb 💕
#I AM ON MY KNEES FOR HIM U DONT UNDERSTAND🧎♀️🧎♀️🧎♀️#GRAHHH I dont even want kids and im giving myself baby fever#also why is the concept of a man coming home from work so attractive like......huh#also im living vicariously through seb by having him bite lewis' cheeks LMAO grrrrr hes like MOCHI#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian x mc#choccyart#clora clemons#lewis sallow#celeste sallow#also it doesnt matter how old clora and seb get as adults i will always be drawing them the same LFMAO#we can just chalk it up to wizard age since they live longer#and no matter how old seb gets i will not be drawing him with a beard or anything ever im sorry i like my men like i like my coffee#clean shaven
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Historians having takes on frev women that make me go 😐 compilation
Sexually frustrated in her marriage to a pompous civil servant much older than herself, [Madame Roland] may have found Danton’s celebrated masculinity rather uncomfortable. Danton (1978) by Norman Hampson, page 77.
The Robespierres sent their sister to Arras because that was their hometown, the family home, where they had relatives, uncles, aunts and friends, like Buissart who they didn’t cease to remain in correspondence with, even in the middle of the Terror. There, among them, Charlotte would not be alone; she would find advice, rest, the peace necessary to heal her nervousness and animosity. Away from Mme Ricard, who she hated, away from Mme Duplay, who she detested, she would enjoy auspicious calmness. It is Le Bon that the Robespierres will charge with escorting their sister to this neccessary and soothing exile. […] If there is a damning piece in Charlotte Robespierre's case, it is this one (her interrogation, held July 31 1794). She seems to be caught in the act of accusing this Maximilien whom she rehabilitates in her Memoirs. She is therefore indeed a hypocrite, unworthy of the great name she bears, and which she dishonors the very day after the holocaust of 10 Thermidor. Charlotte Robespierre et Guffroy (1910) in Annales Révolutionnaires, volume 3 (1910) page 322, and Charlotte Robespierre et ses mémoires (1909) page 93-94, both by Hector Fleishmann.
Elisabeth, as she was popularly called, was barely past her twelfth birthday, younger even by three years than Barere’s own mother when she was given in marriage. On the following day the guests assembled again in the little church of Saint-Martin at midnight to attend the wedding ceremony of the handsome charmer and the bewildered child. Dressed in white, clasping in her arms a yellow, satin-clad doll that Bertrand had given her — so runs the tradition — she marched timidly to the altar, looking more like a maiden making her first communion than a woman celebrating a binding sacrament. Perhaps the doll, if doll there was, filled her eye, but certainly she could not fail to note how handsome her husband was. Bertrand Barere; a reluctant terrorist (1962) by Leo Gershoy, page 32.
The young nun who bore the name of Hébert did not hide her fate. She did not wish to prolong a life stifled from her childhood in the cloister, branded in the world by the name she bore, fighting between horror and love for the memory of her husband, unhappy everywhere. Histoire des Girondins (1848) by Alphonse de Lamartine, volume 8, page 60.
Lucile in prison showed more calmness than Camille. Before the tribunal, she seemed to possess neither fear nor hope, she denied having taken an active role in the prison conspiracy. What did it matter to her the answer they were trying to extract from her? They said they wanted her guilty? Very well! She would be condemned and join Camille. This was what she said again when she was told that she would suffer the same fate as her husband: ”Oh, what joy, in a few hours I’m going to see Camille again!” Camille et Lucile Desmoulins: un couple dans la tourmente (1986) by Jean Paul Bertaud, page 293.
What did it matter to Lucile whether she was accused or defended? She had no longer any pretext for living in this world. She was one of those heroines of conjugal love who are more wife than mother. Besides, Horace lived, and Camille was dead. It was of the absent only that she thought. As for the child, would not Madame Duplessis act a mother's part to him? The grandmother would watch over the orphan. If Lucile had lived, she could have done nothing but weep over the cradle, thinking of Camille. Camille Desmoulins and his wife; passages from the history of the Dantonists founded upon new and hitherto unpublished documents (1876) by Jules Claretie.
Having been widowed at the age of 23 [sic] years, Élisabeth Duplay remarried a few years later to the adjutant general Le Bas, brother of her first husband, and kept the name which was her glory. She lived with dignity, and all those who have known her, still beautiful under her crown of white hair, have testified to the greatness of her sentiments and austerity of her character. She died at an old age, always loyal to the memory of the great dead she had loved and whose memory she, all the way to her final day, didn’t cease to honor and cherish. As for the lady of Thermidor, Thérézia Cabarrus, ex-marquise of Fontenay, citoyenne Tallien, then princess of Chimay, one knows the story of her three marriages, without counting the interludes. She had, as one knows, three husbands living at the same time. Now compare these two existances, these two women, and tell me which one merits more the respect and the sympathy of good men. Histoire de Robespierre et du coup d’état du 9 thermidor (1865) by Louis Ernest Hamel, volume 3, page 402.
Fel free to comment which one was your favorite! 😀
#frev#french revolution#frev compilation#hampson: if women were uncomfortable around danton it’s because they were sexually frustrated!#fleishmann: two men in their 30s can ultimately decide what’s best for their sister who’s also in her 30s#also it’s totally unreasonable for charlotte to disown her brothers after their death when her life was possibly in danger#(and even though they pretty much disowned her while they were still alive)#lamartine claretie bertaud: françoise and lucile wanted to die since there was no longer any point to their lives after the husbands died#hamel: a good way of finding out which side was bad and which side was good is to look over how slutty the women on each side were#wow are you seriously surprised the view of women held by 19th century authors isn’t exactly top modern?#…no comment#claretie should technically get a pass since he thought the journal of sanson was an authentic source#But it was so spectacular i couldn’t contain myself#also a shame i couldn’t remember where i read the interpretation that the reason simond évrard was wary of charlotte corday#was bc she might seduce marat when alone with him
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Happy Birthday to Ferdinand von Aegir!
I actually made 33 emotes, affectionately known as Aegirglyphics to some, for my own personal use on discord. However, I figure why not share some of them! They're free to use for discord servers/icons/pfps or whatever. However, my only request is Do NOT use them as subscriber emotes on Twitch. You can make them free follower emotes but you are not to make them locked behind a paywall.
#fe three houses#ferdinand von aegir#discord emotes#i thought long and hard about this bc idk the actual want for emotes i made ages ago but#i still love my son and its his bday ad so i should be nice and share#since i no longer have nitro and can no longer use them myself#the fact i can technically post 30 at once was tempting but#some of them arent living up to my standards and also just might not be easy to use in most contexts#so those im gonna skip on lol#whoever wants 21 aegirglyphics tho have at em#i think i might have posted some before? but only 10 and i dont recall which ones#if you want a secret the last three and the middle on the second row are my favorites to use#i used concernednand (the upper one) so much#the internet concerns me guys it was a valid use every time#debated sharing heartnand but honestly the world could benefit from it imo because gotta spread that love#fun lil trivia i love making emotes and so when i was in a server and people knew me as the ferdinand fan and artist#someone was like why hasnt salmon made a ferdinand emote yet#and im like bc i dont run the server and i cant just demand they add my art#and then a mod was like i didnt wanna put pressure on salmon but i thought about it so i was like bet#and then drew a server exclusive happy ferdinand emote#and that was the start of me somehow being able to have like.... ten emotes in that server#some of them were just me joking and then mods encouraging me#cause i used to use felix for every single art prompt theyd give and one week someone said the prompt was pog#and i just was so upset because dude why would i wanna draw felix for that hes not pog#so a mod was like hey if you make a pog felix emote we ill add it to the emotes here#so i once again was like bet and then posted it and then they really added it lmao#anyway sorry for so many rambles please feel free to use them on discord in whatever server#i cant really expect everyone to credit me but also im not really concerned since i fear people know my nands a mile away
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Look how they cannibalized my boy
#in light of recent events#i felt a mighty need to redraw this scene#can’t believe the terror got another thing right#james fitzjames#og james fitzjames#the franklin expedition#historical james fitzjames#franklin expedition#james fitzjames fanart#polar exploration#my drawings#the terror fanart#amc the terror#the terror#the terror adjacent#og jfj#i can’t believe they ate my baby#insane#still reeling tbh#started drawing this immediately upon hearing the news#because i’m sick in the head#i think i had convinced myself that he was the Washington bay aglooka#and i told myself that if he had lived that long maybe he had lived a lot longer#maybe he was one of the few that nearly made it back#one could always hope#until now that is#i have very mixed emotions about this#i am both glad we know (finally!!!) and i also kind of wish we didn’t#really i wish that he had made it#but there’s nothing i can do about that
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the literal last words of supernatural are robert singer saying “and cut.”
#IN THE ‘we finally defeated god and can live our lives autonomously out of the hamster wheel no longer god’s favorite show’ FINALE#YOU COULD NOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP.#robert singer i am willing to kill myself in front of you if it means you’ll never produce a show again
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Here’s some dude
#Danny phantom#my art#technus#I’ve been staring at this for so long I can no longer tell if the colors look good 😤👊👊👊#I’m beating up this drawing#body horror#funky Saturday cartoon villain is living it up in my brain#I redrew this as a ref for myself bc I couldn’t find any of my older references
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when do I get gifted an older trans friend who knows everything I’m going through and has the same humor as me. literally at what point does this happen. I see so many people talking about their older trans friends who have a mentor vibe about them… when do I get this
#lgbtq#transgender#transandrogynous#trans ftnb#trans#nb#enby#nonbinary#non binary#non biney#agender#how does it feel#to live MY DREAM#not joking#I don’t know how much longer I can thug it out by myself bro😕
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Honestly Rayla is equally 100% ride or die for Callum too.
That's so true I almost mentioned it in that post. They're so ridiculously feral for each other it's hilarious to watch. Callum's the legitimate "we ride AND die together" whereas Rayla is the "I will ride and die FOR you" sort of deal yknow?
Could be literally any situation, no matter how dangerous, and she's already decided she will die here. Does it ensure Callum lives? Then batter-up buckeroo we're going in swords blazing! Everyone cheer and clap for her human or she'll blow this whole place up. Kinda person who says "even if you hate me I'd still lose everything if it meant you were okay". She thinks they're in a tragic love story where she's always at risk of losing him but that's okay as long as it keeps him safe and happy like y'know Viren parallels, she'd risk losing her very self for him over and over. Except Callum would wait until the end of the world itself, and even beyond, and she wouldn't even have to ask.
The difference between them, really, is that Rayla will die for Callum on any given day. Callum will kill for Rayla on any given day. Something something matching sets
#tdp#the dragon prince#asks#rayllum#tdp callum#tdp rayla#talk#someone in the tags of that post said 'raylas self loathing works hard but callums devotion works even harder' and they own that post now#its theirs. they summed it up beautifully. they own it#'yes hes cringe but hes MY cringefail loserboy!!!!! get your OWN'#everyone else would say the 'hes a 10 but--' except for rayla. shes just 'hes a 10. hes just a 10 striaght-up'#he is not. he is so not a 10 i love him but hes not a 10 shes just so ill for him#so insane that the girl who has issues abt not being or being wanted by anyone or not good enough for ppl to stay/want her#proceeds to find maybe the 1 guy in the entire world who will choose her no matter WHAT#and even when SHE was the one who left & he was pissed he was still 100% sticking by her. hes staying#oops she showed him affection. now hes stuck forever! shame. welp guess thats how it goes!#and its partially bc of that she'd die for him. she needs him to b okay even if shes not there. mix of that loathing like#'he could still b happy without me so i need to ensure he lives so he can STAY happy at my own detriment. he means more than me'#girl if you died he would literally crumple into dust. fold in like cardboard in the rain. lay face-down in the sand & just die there#same w callum hes like 'i can hurt myself over & over for her if shes alive. if the danger is dead then she can live longer. i will live bu#tear myself apart so long she is safe'#bestie. if you reach the point of no return she will sacrifice herself to get the old you back WHAT THEN
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I love when he entertains her bullshit lmao
#fast forward 5 years from now#their conversations sound concerning to an outsider ngl#doing flashbacks/time skips is so hard here because valen has looked the same her entire life#gideon you can see his hair is a bit longer and there’s a certain dilfy air to him ksjdkdj#not her tho#she stays looking the same since she was 16#anyways don’t mind me yall distracting myself from their canon#this is where I live now#in this universe where they’re happily married with 6 children#I got very emo drawing this negl#their wedding rings 🥹#valen being pregnant as fuck 😭💀💀#<< happy for her tho she’s living her dreams#her house isn’t sad and empty anymore#she’s just like maddy when she said she’d look so sexy pregnant#I actually have some thoughts on this lol#ok anyways bye im running away don’t perceive me#ocs#artists on tumblr#my ocs#my art#valen x gideon
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#there's a flood coming to my city 😬#the wave is supposed to hit tomorrow at night#i'm a bit worried?#they say it's gonna be similae to 1997#which is. not good.#everyone at work was panicking which did not help#they said the water is almost sold out in shops#and i couldn't go to the shop to buy it because i was. at work.#so i messaged my dad and he bought some for me and he'll drive over to bring it to me#his town doesn't have a big river so you can still buy water there lmao#i asked him to buy me some non perishable food like rice crackers while he was at it too#and now i'm scared that he and my mom will buy out the entire shop and i'll have to eat those things for months 😬#they can be like that sometimes haha#yeah they most definitely will bring over the whole car full of food what do i do 😭#anyway my main concern is the lack of electricity because the stupid stove in this flat doesn't use gas ;_;#gotta charge the powerbanks 💪#people are also worried that we'll go to work tomorrow and then it'll turn out the road is flooded and we'll have to stay at work overnight#lmaoooo why won't the company just give everyone the week off?? (because of capitalism)#my sister has a two months old baby and she is leaving the city tonight to stay with our grandma#they do need clean water for the baby and the government recommended the children and the elderly to evacuate#i'd evacuate myself if it wasn't for my work 😭 (capitalism)#aghhh i'm sure it's not gonna be that bad#it's just my first flood you see#well technically the second one because i was born in 1997 hahaha but yeah. yeah.#i do like my warm meals and hot tea and i do like to shower#i do hope it'll last 2 days max!! but a friend says it can last longer depending on the damage ;_;#i know i can't really complain because i at least live on the 5th floor#my sister lives on the first floor. right by the river. yeah...#not to mention the people in surrounding villages#someone at work said that the water reached the third floor in some places in 1997 wtf 😭
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the 14 year old edgelord in me keeps trying to compose deep poetry about coming to after dissociating. calm down babes. we’re all good here.
#blue chatter#just. the experience of blinking into existence becoming associated with ice in my mouth#and how it’s becoming a pattern that the first visual thing I process is a hand in front of my face#At least that I remember. I’m sure other stuff happens but my memory is unsurprisingly v blurry after#I feel bad for making my roommate take care of me so often#but I super cannot control when I dissociate#and I do genuinely need the help#bc today I was home alone and it took a loooooot longer to break out of the blurry stage#I somehow didn’t think to get ice about it until I was in the middle of the grocery store an hour after the episode had ended#I want to be more independent about this so people don’t have to take care of me all the time#it is relieving to know that I can live with friends after grad school#so *someone* can be around usually if something goes wrong and I’m not cognizant enough to help myself#but I don’t wanna make them feel like they have to help me or put that on them#or like. freak out their kids. their kids are not raised remotely like I was and they’re rly young so they don’t rly understand this.#how do you explain trauma to a three year old whose parents are incredibly good at gentle parenting#idk. I’ll figure it out. hopefully with time and therapy I’ll be able to process my trauma enough that I won’t be like this forever.#I don’t wanna be like this forever.#I want to go to grad school and start practicing in clinical psychology and help people#and be independent and be able to support my friends instead of the other way around
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being an open trans person online is an exhausting experience at best and a traumatizing experience at worse
#this is so ridiculous#can we just live our lives without getting shit thrown at us for like two seconds#leave trans women alone leave trans men alone leave people with confusing identities alone LEAVE US ALONE#seeing so many trans influencers get shit thrown at them just for being trans#people getting pissed at being reminded that transmisogny is still a problem on this site#an uprising of transphobia towards transmascs for daring to speak a little louder about the issues we face#im losing my mind over here#granted I present as a cis girl irl and no longer come across as trans to people anymore#because depression#so im exempted from a lot of struggles currently#but damn people on here still make me hate myself#transgender#trans issues#transfem#transmasc#nonbinary#transphobia#transmisogny#transandrophobia#anti transmasculinity
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my mom always saying that the family needs to help one another but i don't know how to tell her that she makes me want to kill myself
#so many stupid things have saved my life but#i'm tired and idk how much longer it's gonna last#i have to think about myself beyond what i create#i think that the best thing i can do is die#it'd be good for her#and for me#i don't know why people think i have a future#if you lived with me you would know --#i shouldn't be here#i'm sorry i feel like i've deceived all of you#i'm really a fucking terrible person#on that note i think i'll be on hiatus for a bit#you can dm me on other platforms but i don't want to be here right now#vent cw
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pacing back and forth in front of my laptop like a caged tiger debating on making an amazon account
#on one hand: god no fuck no ive held out this long#on the other hand: i need very specific things that stores usually only sell online#and the nearest stores that Might have them are over an hour away and that takes so much fucking gas which is Expensive#not anywhere near worth it for a maybe#like. im. im stuck in a corner#absolutely unprompted#i dont want to contribute to amazon but there are things i cant get otherwise ive Checked the other online stores that would have them#and it can have lower prices and Sales...#fuck. well im contributing to late stage capitalism merely by living in the usa so might as well#i will use it as little as possible. i swear this to myself#i will only use it when im sure that there are no other options#THE DAY'S WHIMSY IS FADING RAPIDLY!!!!#i am no longer sipping at this tasty beer like someone Indulging#i am taking Swigs like someone trying to forget#it really is delicious tho. very bready and not too bitter <3
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