#Hubby can't do more than five seconds

[erineas]

He still gets flustered

[watermelonsugacry]

So yk how h has been posting accidentally to his public ig story instead of his close friends? One day he post some really cute picture of wifey and he adds all the cute stickers he uses and he erases it like rq. it’s like omg he posted her accidentally BUTTT the kicker is that he also captioned it something like cute and dumb like “happy wife, happy life” and exposed tf out of them lolllll bcs he is sooooo the type to say that anyway loves u

Oh my gosh I like this better than my original idea

So this is the post he makes on his Instagram story that’s supposed to go on his close friends story but then quickly deletes it.

And every social media platform is going crazy over what was only up for 18 seconds.

GUYS DID THAT JUST SAY WHAT I THINK IT SAID???

THE RING!!!!

WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN??

GUYS I DONT THINK THIS WAS A JOKE

THEY'RE FINALLY MARRIED?!!

HOW LONG AGO DID THEY DO THIS?

Aside from the obvious downside of Harry's fuck up, they actually had a plan on officially announcing their new marital status after their one-month anniversary... which was the next day.

(Here's their wedding chapter: Forevermore)

liked by harrystyles, prettypenny, and 7,879,203 others

yourinstagram 12/26 happy one month anniversary 💍❤

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gemmastyles my sister!! ❤

annetwist my beautiful daughter-in-law

lizzobeeating A-YO!! so beautiful MRS STYLES

pillowpersonpp you looked so beautiful that day! ❤❤now mitch and I can call you hubby and wifey for real now

ynfan3 NOO WAY

ynfan2 I CANNOT HANDLE THIS RIGHT NOW

ynrryfan7 we finally got their anniversary date!

harryfan1 the way that twitter is blowing up right now

liked by yourinstagram, annetwist, and 7,675,236 others

harrystyles 12/26 finally married my best friend 💍❤

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yourinstagram took you long enough

↳harrystyles I was waiting on YOU...but it was well worth the wait

↳jefezoff hey h, what happened to 'happy wife, happy life?' 😂

ynfan3 their bickering is so cute!

ynfan2 GUYS THIS IS REAL!!!

harryfan1 i've been manifesting this day for so long!

liked by annetwist, prettypenny, and 879,203 others

gemmastyles you guys were made for each other ❤

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ynfan3 they're so IN LOVE 🥹

ynfan2 I NEED SOMEONE TO LOOK AT ME THE WAY HARRY IS LOOKING AT YN

harryfan6 it's rumored that they did a backyard wedding!

ynrryfan8 small wedding choice is so them

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louis91 welcome to the family @harrystyles

(for all the times I've caught your asses kissing in the hallways)

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yourinstagram mind yeh business lou

ynfan3 WAIT TELL US ABOUT THESE TIMES

ynfan2 literally half of 1d are now family

harryfan1 her and harry standing next to each other i can’t

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niallhoran congrats to you both. love you guys 🥂

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↳yourinstagram we love you more Nialler ❤

↳harrystyles thank you for being with us on our special day 🤍

harryfan1 NIALL WAS AT THEIR WEDDING AWWW

ynfan3 DID WE GET A 1D REUNION?? AND WE MISSED IT?

ynrryfan6 supposedly it was only Niall and Louis

liked by ynfan2, harryfan6, and 979,783 others

zayn it was only a matter of time

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yourinstagram ❤❤

harryfan1 look at them!! so baby 😍

ynfan3 after 12 years they're finally married!!

ynrryfan6 they don't even know what lies ahead of them

liked by ynfan1, prettypenny, and 502,203 others

lottietomlinson @louis91 & @yourinstagram the second they saw each other

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ynfan4 I LOVE THEM

ynfan3 they're such siblings oh my gosh

harryfan1 they're five years old and i love it

liked by ynfan9, ynrryfan3, and 532,203 others

harryflorals more of Niall and Louis at YN and Harry's wedding!

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harrfan6 i still can't wrap my head around what's going on

ynfan3 NOUIS!!

ynfan2 their brothers were there for their special day!!!!

harryfan2 i bet they both cried

liked by ynfan9, harryfan2, and 86,912 others

ynupdates Liam just posted this on his Instagram story!

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harryfan1 THEY WERE SO LITTLE

ynfan3 fetus ynrry!!

ynfan2 wait was he not at their wedding?

↳harryfan4 why do i get the feeling that that was on him 🤔

liked by ynfan1, prettypenny, and 58,361 others

ynrry_updates YN's stepmum posted the first pic and then she reposted Mitch & Sarah's post on her Instagram story!!

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ynfan6 stop this is so cute

harryfan4 harry's a lucky guy

ynfan3 the MR & MRS STYLES?!!

harryfan5 she looks so beautiful!!

.

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[katarh-mest]

I have a "mild" case of dyscalculia. One of the many things that got missed when I was referred out to a child psych at 11 for flunking 7th grade geography despite being "so smart" because back in the early '90s nobody knew what it was and also girls didn't get ADHD. (Sigh.) Things are a little better now that it's a recognized problem.

Some things that have helped me over the years:

Using graph paper for EVERYTHING related to math. Keeping the stupid numbers lined up correctly is part of the problem, and regular lined paper doesn't cut it for this. The second vertical row of lines helps a ton.

Associating colors or sounds with numbers. Honestly this was easier back when "touch tone" phones were still how all phones were dialed, because I learned to memorize phone numbers based on those tones. I kind of have to "sing" phone numbers to remember them to this day.

As for the colors, I don't use them as much as the tones any more, but: zero is black, one is red, two is dark blue, three is yellow, four is light purple, five is orange, six is brown, seven is gold, eight is darker purple than four, nine is pink, ten is white. One hundred is green. (I think because it's 100 pennies? a dollar bill?)

Also notice that I generally spell out the numbers instead of using Arabic numbers? I don't have dyslexia, and I was always way more comfortable with them as words than as digits. Brains are weird.

Check your work! check your work! check your work! This is more of an ADHD problem than a dyscalculia specific problem, but the stupid "simple math mistakes" are what always killed me in the higher level math classes. Nothing more horrible than having a 6+7 = 11 in the middle of a 20 line long equation giving you the wrong answer. This is the primary reason that someone with a disability is given extra time during a test. Because they know you might have done an oopsie and now need to go back and fix a bunch of stuff.

You're allowed to use digital clocks at home. Reading analog clock faces is still not something that's very instinctive. I have to break it down into parts, and god help me if there's no labels on the hours. I got better at it from sheer brute force practice. (Things like mixing up Left/Right and East/West North/South will never get away.)

I only learned my roman numerals thanks to a hyperfixation with Final Fantasy games.

Ride or die with your assistive technology. I am a spreadsheet wizard (Excel, Google Sheets) because I learned how to make it do all the math for me. It's glorious. No shame in whipping out your phone to punch in numbers to add things other people can do in their heads. I abused Google Maps. I use tally marks on paper.

You are smarter than your disability makes you think you are. Ironically, I have an excellent grasp of math theory and once I emerged from the hell of long division and counting change, I excelled in algebra, trigonometry, and differential calculus. I didn't hit a wall until integral calculus in college, because the equations started to get too long for me to handle again. Your mileage may vary on this, though. I still managed to get an above average math score on standardized tests despite having undiagnosed dyscalculia, because the questions on things like the SAT and GRE are less about the math and more about avoiding the traps. I have a master's degree in business. You can have a very successful career (just, uh, probably not in a math oriented area) despite dyscalculia.

Find a math buddy. I'm incredibly lucky that the person I fell in love with and married is a math whiz, one who is patient and understands that it's not my fault I can't help much with the budgeting. He is also my calendar and emergency calculator. (Love you, hubby.) A significant other or friend you can trust can really help out here. Barring that, hire an accountant or get some accounting software like Mint to do the grunt work of the mathing for you every month.

Here's some more info on Dyscalculia since I feel like it wasn't enough.

So i've stated that it is a Math learning disability deemed "Math dyslexia" because of the similarity that it is a learning disability that have similar lack of understanding and processing of the category(numbers,words/letters) Dyscalculia is NOT Dyslexia though, again, they are completely different.

Dyscalculia is not normally noticed throughout life as like most of learning disabilities up until there is obvious signs later on in the person's life/work space so I AM going to share some signs to notice and acknowledge as well as some more info that I may or may not have included in my last post.

Dyscalculia signs/behaviour in all grades:

Counting on fingers.

persistent inability to memorise Math facts. Commonly "Basic" math facts.

Difficulty counting backwards.

Difficulty in understanding place value.

Weak mental arithmetic skills.

Struggle with reading charts and graphs.

Having trouble measuring things (like ingredients).

May not understand the concept of counting.

Trouble processing number symbols ( like putting 8 with the actual name "Eight").

Hard time understanding math phrases like Greater Than and Less Than.

Lack confidence in situations that require understanding speed, distance, and directions, may get lost easily.

• High levels of Math Anxiety.

And so many more included from primary school and WAY far in to adulthood!

I am currently a student in /High School/ and my math level up from primary school to now has always been incredibly hard for me and on a very low level. Though I DO get good grades in Math most of the time there are situations where I just lose that grip due to my dyscalulia.

Though things like this may seem hopeless and upsetting and frustrating, especially if you have friends and peers who do so much more easier in math, it's completely okay to have such a learning disability and you are absolutely NOT alone.

To prove so I am going to share things that I HAVE struggled in with math since I was very young :]

My dyscalculia struggles:

counting on my fingers not matter the math equation (adding,subtracting, etc).

Inability to read an analog clock.

almost complete inability to count money dollars and money coins.

I dont know my Multiplication tables and almost completely unable to do division.

Trouble with Greater than and Less than/trouble with place value.

trouble with understanding positive numbers and negative nunbers and when to use the signs for them.

trouble with figuring out measurements, especially in distance and time.

Very sure theres more but over all almost completely avoiding math situations and math activities due to the anxiety i get having to preform them especially if its things i know i cant do (like completely avoiding having to determine the time on an analog clock).

[END]🌙

Dyscalculia can be a very hard thing to deal with especially since its a life long struggle and with its less known popularity its a learning disability that ive never seen brought into light and IM here to change that because people need to know. Struggling with it or not IT STILL exists and is highly misunderstood and completely inacknowledged. Its fun to learn about things like this anyways so I have a lot of fun writing these :]

Thank you for reading <3

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Okay but Karasuno definitely send their kids to the primary school that Suga teaches at and Y/N definitely has to spend every 0.003 seconds telling her crow hubby that he can’t call Suga to check on their child.

Ugh I'm having so much fun with this Dad! Haikyu series 😫😫😫 please Suga is regretting his decision to become a teacher when his besties kids start showing up 😅

*please keep these coming I need them all 😫

Daichi

Definitely the WAY over protective dad

Has scoped out the entire school for imitate threats

You probably have to take his phone because he will be texting Suga every hour for an update

"YN he hasn't responded in 3 hours, I definitely think it's rime I head down to the scho," Daichi says as you stand in front of the door, barring your husband from leaving

"He probably blocked you babe because uou keep harassing him!" You said a shout husband scoffs and walks away

"I could barely trust Suga back in high-school with the team and he was my vice captain! How do you expect me to trust him with our child?" Your husband shouts as you roll your eyes.

"First off, our 5 year old is way more mature than Hinata and Kageyama combined and secondly, Suga went to school to be a teacher and he's good at it! Let the man do is job!" You shout as your husband's phone chimes and he races to get it.

Suga: your kid did fine DADCHI 🙄

Your husband smiles at the text, knowing he can rest a little easier knowing his kid is in good hands.

Asahi

God he's so nervous

Your daughter is HIS support system 😅

He probably throws up right after he gets her on the bus

You watch as your husband sits on the front porch. It's still 2 hours before your daughter is set to return but he's patiently waiting. You walk outside and sit next to him, pulling him close for a side hug.

"You know, you kind of look like a lost kid just sitting out here," you laugh as your husband glares in your direction.

"What if the bus comes early YN? What if they forget to drop her off? OH MY GOD WHAT IF THEY GIVE HER TO A DIFFETENT FAMILY?!?!" Your husband shouts, catastropizing the entire situation.

"Honey, she will be fine! She knows our address and phone number. Plus Daichi is a cop and Suga is her teacher, she will be fine! We have backup," you say trying to calm your husband's nerves.

"I guess, she's just so little and I'm just scared for her," he says as you kiss his cheek softly.

"She's tougher than you think! Look at who her dad is. Mr. Big tough former ace!" You say as your husband smiles at you.

He's not sure what he would do without you besides panic himself into oblivion 🥰

Tsukishima

The most logical of them all

He's excited because his sons excited

In reality he's up late text Yamguchi in sheer panic 😅

"Maybe we should wait another year? I mean he's barely 5," you husband says as you turn to look at him.

"Kei he turned five 7 months ago, he is ready," you say as you wave to your son as he heads into school.

"Yeah but YN, he already knows how to write all his letters, numbers and he's learning sight words. Maybe we can skip kindergarten and just wait until, oh I don't know, 4th grade?" Your husband says looking at you.

"Pretty sure we can't keep him out of school Kei, that's illegal," you say as you turn to leave and your husband pulls out his phone, "what are you doing?"

"Texting Daichi, he's a cop so he would know right?" Kei says as you roll your eyes, grabbing your husband and pulling him back to the car.

Please drive him home YN or else he will wait for your son all day outside of the school 🥺

[evehere]

I just wanted to say I am absolutely taken by your 2ha ficlet as well! I even started reading "The wife is first" per your recommendation, and every new chapter I read all I think about is "ooh, this would fit so well with ranwan, what an amazing idea!" I really can't wait to read the rest of what you have written, thanks for doing this

Hi! Omgsh, thanks so much for the nice! I felt that since people might not know the series this au is based in, they might not take an interest to it! I write for my own pleasure, but it feels good to post it and see some response.

I’m glad you’re enjoying QWS. It’s really a comfort novel, like, each chapter feels so warm and nice! I reread some chapters when I’m feeling in the mood for some comfort without the hurt part (／ω＼)  And the main characters are so similar as well, like JS is a bright boy on his way to take care of his hubby and JQ is the cold and aloof man who is like wtf every time JS does something for him. Besides, I really like the setting the author created for homosexual marriage.

I leave you here the main scene that was inspired in the novel, I hope you’ll like it!

Yearning willow masterpost ❤️

Mo Ran 2.0 (2)

Resurrection

Mo Ran snapped his eyes open.

Was he dead?

It was dark, a faint crimson undertone around him.

He was lying on something soft, something akin to a blanket covering him. He was warm and comfortable.

There was, however, had a faint pressure in his head, as a light hangover, and a frantic feeling in his chest, his heart beating hard and his breathing picking up. Did the spirits have the same sensations as the living? Mo Ran asked himself. Tentatively, he curled lightly his fingers. His fingers answered at his slightest order, with no difference to when he was alive.

Excruciatingly slow, Mo Ran moved his hand up his chest, and placed his hand over his heart.

It was beating.

Was he really dead? Or had Xue-bofu come up with something at the last moment, saving him? But he would swear that he had felt the knife in his neck, and the blood flowing out like a fountain.

Mo Ran glided his hand over the spot of his chest where the executioner had made the second cut. The skin was intact, no sign of a knife cut. Mo Ran frowned slightly, feeling that something was amiss.

His eyes were adjusting to the dark. Those were… curtains? Like a canopy?

As a thunderstruck, he realised what was amiss. He couldn’t feel his ribs. Instead, there was supple muscle under his hand, like he had before he entered the prison. In prison, the prolonged lack of food had led him to lose almost all muscle mass.

Startled, he sat on the bed. He felt… good, despite the headache. Better than he had in the last months. But it was more like… normal.

He was wearing a cosy night robe, partially open at his chest. Mo Ran opened his lapels, noticing dumbfounded that the blade scar he had got in a battle a couple of years before his imprisonment was nowhere to be seen. In fact, he had no injury other than some old scars. He was… intact. Whole.

Mo Ran was alive. Not just alive, but his body was in the state it was in several years back.

There was a huff of breath next to him.

Startled, Mo Ran looked to his side. A body lied next to him, with his back facing Mo Ran. There was another huff of breath as they stirred, apparently deep in sleep. They had long, silky hair extended over the pillow. He couldn’t determine if they were a man or a woman.

He was in a bed. Someone was lying next to him.

This wasn’t unknown to him. Quite the opposite, Mo Ran was very familiar with this setting. Also, he was recognising the place, his heart threatening to get out of his chest as his hand trembled from the force with which he clenched his night robe.

There was only one way to check it.

Putting a hand on the pillow to support himself, he reached over and peered at the face of the sleeping person next to him.

Rong Jiu.

Rong Jiu’s young, graceful face, with his tender and androgynous features.

They were lying in the canopy bed in Rong Jiu’s old rooms in his Nanping manor. He recognised now the crimson drapes with embroidered mandarin ducks. Now that he saw them again, the deep red colour still vibrant and new, he felt the same need to tear them down.

As he had before his imprisonment.

He threw another look at the man lying beside him, noticing the lovebites and the handprints on the skin that peeked out of the blankets. What’s more, there were fine rope marks on Rong Jiu’s wrists.

Weren’t those remarkably similar to his own handiwork!?

Mo Ran couldn’t bear to stay in there anymore, so he got up from the bed, letting the bed curtains fall closed. He was indeed in Rong Jiu’s old room, with the same red and gold decorations and rich fabrics with detailed embroidery. However, last year Mo Ran had made some renovations to make the room more spacious. The room looked as if he had never made them.

It was cold, and it was still dark outside, but he could see faint sun rays from the paper windows. The room was silent—not even birds were singing yet.

There was a mirror in a corner, and Mo Ran watched his own reflection.

Strong. Muscular. Tanned. Traits he lost when he was imprisoned. Yet the white hairs he had got when Chu Wanning got ill in prison had disappeared altogether.

Had he… had he gone back in time?

Mo Ran was confident that he had died at the execution grounds. But he had heard stories before. Stories of people who died under serious grievances, with the blessings of the gods, going back in time so they can start over with the knowledge of the future.

The realisation hit Mo Ran like a sack of stones, and he staggered, dizzy.

“Fuck!”

Gods hadn’t abandoned him after all. He had another opportunity.

Another opportunity.

His voice, however, finally rose the sleeping beauty resting in the bed.

“Hum… Houye… You woke up so early today.”

Mo Ran’s gaze was icy when he looked back at the man sitting up on the bed. Years ago, he had received Rong Jiu as a gift from Viscount Chang. He had liked him and took him in as a concubine. In the end, Rong Jiu proved to be an internal spy all along, and provided the court with more evidence of Mo Ran’s wrongdoings to expiate himself with good deeds. Viscount Chang had brought him back when Mo Ran was imprisoned and got himself some merits from the emperor.

How he had fallen for the tricks of this little vixen!

He had been so blind to find attractive an androgynous and seductive beauty like Rong Jiu. It was nothing like the beauty of his husband, his Wanning…

Chu Wanning. If Mo Ran was back, that meant that Chu Wanning was back too?

Rong Jiu noticed that Mo Ran looked gloomy and unwilling to talk to him, but merely thought that he might be in a foul mood.

“Houye, did you not sleep well last night? Did you have a bad dream?”

I died, moron. That’s a bad dream in its own right.

Since Mo Ran still showed no signs of talking or approaching him, Rong Jiu raised, draping a robe on his shoulders, and hugged him from behind.

Mo Ran fought his first instinct to shake the treacherous man from his back. He wanted nothing more than to shake him off and slap him until he vented his anger. Yet, for the time being, it would be best if he were careful and treated everyone as if they knew nothing—at least until he got more information about his own situation.

Besides, he should care about his marquis reputation, just in case. His reputation as an immoral who did anything he pleased was the reason people had been so ready to believe that Mo Ran had tried to dethrone the emperor in his past life.

In his past life, Chu Wanning used to advise him to be humbler and keep a low profile, but he hadn’t heeded his advice. Later, he’d realise the kindness behind his words.

“How about I ask servants to prepare breakfast for you? Congee and fried buns sound good?”

Finding himself unable to talk, Mo Ran simply nodded his head.

Rong Jiu called a servant and went on his well-practiced routine with Mo Ran, preparing boiling water and clean clothes. Mo Ran merely observed him. The man really hadn’t changed in the past years.

If everything was real, if Mo Ran was back in the past, then everything had yet to happen. Mo Ran had yet to lose his title and his estate, he had yet to die, and Chu Wanning… Chu Wanning was still alive. He could still fix things with him before it was too late.

Rong Jiu had been taken into the manor in his second year after his marriage with Chu Wanning, so he knew he was already married to him.

“What day is it?” Mo Ran asked Rong Jiu as he approached him with his thick outer robes in dark blue and lined with grey rabbit fur.

Judging by the cold, it was around winter, but that alone wasn’t enough information.

“Third day of the tenth month, houye. Today’s the beginning of the winter.”

“Dingyou year?” He guessed it should be around that time.

“Yes, houye,” Rong Jiu answered with a hint of amusement. “Did houye had too much to drink last night, that he has to ask about the year?”

Dingyou year. He was twenty-six years old, and he had been married to Chu Wanning for almost five years. He was back from his last big military campaign, earning the title of Taxian general from the emperor. The campaign had taken him barely a year and ended around… The Lantern Festival? Mo Ran remembered he had been back for that one. He had been back in Nanping-fu for almost a year then.

After his campaign against the north, everything had gone downhill. Mo Ran had been drunk on praises and riches, taking in five or six concubines every year, and allowing himself to do as he pleased. He had gotten into many fights, both private and in court, and he had estranged himself from the Xue family and Nangong Si.

He remembered how he had gone out of his way to make Chu Wanning miserable as well.

The servants brought in the breakfast and set the dishes on the table. Mo Ran took a seat on the low table and let Rong Jiu serve him a bowl of congee. He extended his hand to take the bowl and chopsticks, but Rong Jiu batted his hand away with a teasing gesture.

“I’ll serve houye his meal,” he said with a flirtatious smile.

Mo Ran merely stared at him, incapable to react at first. The wish to slap a few teeth out of that smile was so strong that Mo Ran almost acted on it. Then he remembered he should act normal, to avoid raising suspicion.

A slow, boyish smile appeared on his face, and opened his mouth when Rong Jiu approached the spoon to his lips. He used to fish out sputum from their prison’s meals, so no matter how disgusting he found to let the boy feed him, he had no trouble acting his role.

There were worse things.

He let the young man feed him three bowls and a half, alternating with bites of the fried pork buns, and then stopped him. It had been so long since he last had a full meal, that the need to finish every bit of food in sight was strong.

From what he remembered, he usually had two bowls of congee and a couple of buns for breakfast, but, in his mind, it had been half a year since he last ate to his heart content. His belly didn’t agree with him, feeling overstuffed, and Mo Ran stopped Rong Jiu before he got sick. He would get used to eating regularly again, he supposed.

He couldn’t help to scoff internally. Rong Jiu would give him whatever he asked, with no regard to what was actually good for him.

Mo Ran wanted nothing more than to ask about Chu Wanning (where was his husband?), but another manservant got into the room with his official robes, a heavy garment in deep purple and a tall, black hat.

Fuck. Of course, if he was back, he’d have to go to morning court.

“Take it away and call a doctor. I’m not feeling well,” he told the servant.

If he had to attend morning court, he should at least familiarise again with the current situation. To be safe, he should avoid it for a few days.

Rong Jiu looked at him with alarm.

“Why didn’t houye say anything earlier? Quick, go call a doctor!” Then he fretted around Mo Ran, pulling him to lie back in the bed.

Mo Ran batted Rong Jiu’s hands away—he was getting throughly fed up with Rong Jiu’s act, knowing that he fretted around him now, but news of his “illness” would spread to Viscount Chang before noon. Ignoring the look of incredulity in his concubine’s face, he wrote a leave of absence and gave it to the servant, telling him to take it to the palace.

“Tell the doctor to come to my office.”

He had no patience left to deal with Rong Jiu.

Nanping-fu was a siheyuan, a courtyard house, divided in a front courtyard and a backyard. The main door, Mo Ran’s office, guest parlour and the library were all in the front courtyard, open to guests, while everyone’s bedchambers, the family shrine, the kitchens, storage rooms and guest rooms were in the backyard.

All the chambers were arranged around an elegant inner garden in a square. The one positioned in the north stood among them as the main house, where was Mo Ran and Chu Wanning’s room.

The same room he had shared with Shi Mei. Mo Ran frowned, uncomfortable with the thought. He’d have to do something about it.

Mo Ran walked through the beautifully decorated pathways with slow, lingering steps. The last time he had seen the place, some servants had even turned the flowerpots upside down, some taking the valuable flowers and others taking the hand-carved pots.

On his way to his office, he passed the guest parlour. The mere sight of it brought bad memories to Mo Ran. It was there where he received the imperial edict ordering his imprisonment. With it, any woman in Nanping-fu could be enslaved and sold as a servant, and any man left in there was to be exiled. Though few fools were still there when the sentence reached it.

Fools like Chu Wanning, his stubborn husband.

“For his father’s past achievements, and his own contributions and military merits towards the empire, Chu Wanning, husband of the criminal Mo Ran, is granted a pardon. By the grace of the Son of Heaven, this marriage is rescinded. He is hereby allowed to return to his old post in the Censorate, retaining the goods he brought into the marriage!” The imperial eunuch had announced.

At the time, Mo Ran had thrown a hateful glance towards his husband. Had he stayed just to show off his pardon? Or did he stay to laugh at Mo Ran’s expenses? Or maybe it was both of them. At the time, it wouldn’t have surprised him; Mo Ran had made his life mission to make Chu Wanning’s life as uncomfortable as possible in the eight years they had been married.

Chu Wanning should be happy that the marriage was over.

That’s why the words Chu Wanning had said after kowtowing three times had utterly surprised him. His thin figure looked as if a strong current of wind could blow him away.

“I’m grateful for bixia’s magnanimous graces. But since this marriage was meant to unite the old and new nobility, nothing more would serve this purpose than letting the both of us get the same sentence as husbands. Husbands should be as of one body; we shall share both glory and failure.”

“What are you doing?” Mo Ran asked, absolutely bewildered. He was signing his own death sentence!

Chu Wanning hadn’t even looked at him, his head bowed to the floor—only the tips of his ears reddened as a sign of his fluster. Mo Ran’s eyes were red as well, his frustration and his pain long past the point of trying to fight for himself.

“I won’t leave Nanping-fu,” Chu Wanning had said.

At first, Mo Ran still thought it was a trick. That some imperial eunuch would come to the prison and announce that the joke was over and Chu Wanning could go and take back his post at the Censorate. But the imperial edict that came was instead that Chu Wanning was stripped of his titles and his possessions. Later, all doubts were erased when the prison guards interrogated him.

The need to see Chu Wanning was so enormous that Mo Ran could hardly breathe. It filled everything and grasped his heart, constricting it painfully. He had to see him and make sure… make sure that Chu Wanning was still alive. That this wasn’t a nightmare conjured by his dying mind, in which he came back to life only to find that Chu Wanning wasn’t there.

Or worse. A punishment set out by the hell judges, to let him live an eternal life in this nightmare.

A servant passed next to him carrying a basin of water, bowing to Mo Ran when he was a few steps away.

“Greetings, houye.”

“Hum,” Mo Ran said in all answer. The servant was about to go away, when he cleared his throat and asked off-handed, “where is furen?”

The servant merely looked at him, his eyes wide as plates. The fear pricked his heart hard, cold sweat forming on his back, and Mo Ran made a tight fist, waiting for an answer.

“F-furen?”

“Yes, where is he?” He asked, trying to conceal his anxiousness under his mask.

“H-he’s still kneeling in the shrine, houye, as you ordered him yesterday.”

Fuck.

***

Houye (侯爷): a respectful way to address a marquis (hou, 侯). It can be used by his spouse, concubines, servants, all those whose ranks are below him. People of his same rank and above may address him as “Mo-hou”.

Dingyou year （丁酉）: 34th year of the sexagenary cycle. It’s just a way to keep track of the time, because I don’t know in which emperor’s reign would this be based on XD

Nanping-fu (府): fu means “manor”. There was a distinction between what one could call their own house, and only nobles of certain level could call their homes “fu”. A lower level would be “zhai” 宅, while the higher level would be “gong” (宫，palace).

Furen (夫人): literally, “madam”. BUT, furen is made up of the characters 夫 (fu, husband) and 人 (ren, person). Being as nouns are only gendered because they’re historically tied to a certain gender, I think it’s fine to think that a furen can be a man, but in a position of deference towards their spouse.

***

If you liked it, please consider supporting me with a rb!

[coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe]

Superheroes with Secrets: Ramune (Fic part 55) (Set in 2001)

Around 2000 Words. 18+ in places.

Tags: @piratewithvigor please inform me if you wish to be tagged/untagged from posts

‘Giantess’ Kirby Roussimoff x Shane ‘Hurricane’ Helms (Circa 2001)

Reference Posts: Shane ‘Hurricane’ Helms

Kirby ‘The Blacklight Bandit’ Roussimoff

Photo References 1

Notes: The story is set in 2001, which would make Helms 27 and Kirby 31. This story also blends Kayfabe and Reality. Certain people speak in different colours, Mainly: Helms is Green. Kirby is Orange. Kane is Red. Undertaker is Purple. Big Show is Blue.

Other members of the BSK are also in purple.

Other women are in Pink.

"She's not, the heroine I once looked up to, ya know." Kirby murmurs.

"Wow, nice collection dude, you're wife looks like 'Giganta'." The 'dude' behind the counter comments.

"I don't see it. Giganta's a ginger." Helms shrugs, paying for his books and ignoring the obvious insinuation.

"Was gonna say, I ain't ginger, and my eyes ain't green" Kirby remarks sarcastically.

"You could rock ginger if you wanted."

"Thank you, hubby." Kirby murmurs, finding the idea of them already being married quite funny.

"No problem, sweetheart." He chuckles, kissing her cheek. He takes his bag of books.

As the couple leaves the shop, Kirby instantly pulls Helms into the international sweet shop.

"I'll let you do the shopping here. If I'm let loose, I'm gonna get one of everything and eat them all before bedtime. I can't be trusted. So if I have more than five things, hit me."

Kirby smirks as she kisses his jawline and pulls away to start looking. He follows her for the most part, trying to ignore the intense sugar cravings. Kirby goes a little wild herself, looking through for Japanese and French sweets.

"Guess you had a lot of these overseas, hmm?"

"Uh huh, I used to practically live off Japanese sweets and Ramune." Kirby murmurs as she gets a basket for her choices, pretty quickly filling it up with Japanese food and Ramune of all flavours.

"Looks tasty."

Kirby pays for it all and they leave the shop, "you ever had Ramune, babe?"

"Never."

Kirby pulls out a bottle, cracking open the plastic seal and places the bottle on a nearby bench, twisting off the top and pressing in the marble and taking a swig of the drink.

"Jeez, this is crazy-looking stuff."

Kirby offers him the open bottle, "wanna try, it's watermelon."

"Yes please." He takes a testing sip.

"So, opinion?" Kirby asks gently as she leads him closer to the home goods store.

"It's tasty. And I don't usually like watermelon stuff."

"It's said that most people want a second bottle due to how good the watermelon flavour tastes, and oh look, we're at the home goods store."

"Guess it's decorating time."

"If you see anything that you think, ooh this'll make the ranch feel like home, tell me, I'm gonna search for the baby section."

"It already feels more like home than anywhere else, but I will."

Kirby gives him a quick kiss before walking off to look for the baby section. He begins strolling through the store slowly, checking out everything. Kirby keeps an eye on Helms, occasionally looking at him between looking at cribs and high chairs. He looks at and touches a lot of things, but doesn't pick up anything until he gets to a little throw blanket with a green lantern logo.

Kirby denies her urge to 'aww' at him but her body gets the better of her, making her whisper out a small, "Aww" and she quickly looks away.

Helms looks up in her direction and blushes heavily, setting the blanket back down.

Kirby quickly walks up behind him, "if you want it, get it." She whispers in his ear.

"It's... I shouldn't need it anymore..." he murmurs.

"No, if you want it, get it, no holding back." Kirby reassures him, messing with his hair and unconsciously placing her free hand on her stomach.

"I used to have a safety blanket... just like this one... carried it everywhere. After my brother... decided I didn't need it anymore and I burnt it... regretted it for years..."

"Shane, you're allowed to buy it, you're allowed to ... fuck, how do I tell you this, gimme a sec." Kirby murmurs, going silent.

Helms tries to keep from getting over-emotional, but it doesn't work well. He can feel the lump in his throat.

"Shane Helms, you are allowed to let your kids get interested in what you like, no matter what it is, I don't know if I'm explaining this right, but you are allowed to buy things that you like, and you are allowed to buy whatever you want, even if, like myself, it's not really for you but for your kids."

"But then what if they grow up like me? Comic-obsessed, high school dropout, putting my life on the line every week, technically homeless.." he lowers his voice a little. "...in some states, considered a murderer..."

"Shane, come here," Kirby whispers as she pulls Helms into a tight hug, "knowing me, our kids will be home-schooled and stay at the ranch most of their lives, if they want to wrestle, we'll deal with that when it happens. I just... I hope they … I need a minute" Kirby whispers as she pulls away and walks outside to a bench, putting her head in her hands and breathing heavily in an attempt to remain calm.

Helms doesn't have to think too long before he follows her. Keeping herself calm isn't one of her fortes. Kirby takes a swig of her drink, wiping tears away from her eyes, her whole body shaking slightly.

"You okay?" Helms whispers.

"Shane, I just realised that I'm terrified of our kids becoming addicted to stuff but losing their lives to it rather than getting clean." Kirby murmurs through tears and shaky breaths.

"I know it's a terrifying thought... but that's why we're going to help them through any substance problems they might have. In the far distant future."

Kirby nods, leaning back and trying to calm her breathing.

"Maybe keep these worries to when they actually exist." He chuckles lightly, trying to pretend he hasn't had the same worries.

"Yeah, I know," Kirby murmurs, "you can buy whatever you want to, long story short," she jokes.

"You won't judge me for cuddling it, will you?"

"Only if you cuddle it more than you cuddle me."

"If that does happen, it's cause you're not within cuddling distance."

"Oh really, how close is cuddling distance?" Kirby questions teasingly, standing up and moving to get closer to Helms.

"If we're wrestling in different cities. Might be too far then. Right now is just right." He smiles, leaning on her.

Kirby pulls Helms into a gentle kiss, "I'm not gonna let Vince separate us."

"No one really has a choice at the end of the day."

"True, but Vince would be making a very big mistake if he pisses me off."

"He wouldn't be inclined to piss off anyone who works for him."

"Also true, but Vince is a crazy person, so who really knows what goes on inside his head."

"Desire for money, love for Stephanie and disdain for Shane."

"Did you purposefully make that rhyme?" Kirby questions teasingly.

"A little, yeah."

"Ya green goofball."

"Gotta practice for when they invite me to be on Sesame Street."

"We're wrestlers, they ain't gonna invite us onto kids programming." Kirby chuckles.

"Maybe not us, but they might invite the squeaky-clean superhero The Hurricane."

"Yeah, and only the squeaky-clean Hurricane, they ain't likely to invite someone like me, no siree, no anti heroes."

"Maybe if we become a beloved tag team. I mean, you saw those kids earlier. They adore us. And that was at the first public place we visited."

"Yeah, but that's because they're already fans of wrestling, you heard the kids mother, 'we never miss an episode' probably cause their parents watch."

"Just saying they can't be the only young fans on the planet."

"Yeah, and as per usual, I'm still cynical about me being a fan favourite." Kirby murmurs.

"I'm gonna prove that when we get to the hotel."

"How ya gonna do that? It'll let people know where we're staying ... it'll make people stare at me."

"With the merch sale records, Hon."

"Merch sales mean nothing to me, people buy random shit all the time." Kirby murmurs, trying to hide the fact that she's actually super curious.

"Enough shit to be by far the top seller?"

"There's no way that's true."

"It is. I've seen it myself. Nearly two-thousand dollars more than The Rock."

"No fucking way"

"Yes way."

Kirby sighs, "I'm a nobody from North Carolina, I ain't a big seller."

"Don't tell that to the Hardys. But I wouldn't lie to you on this. People of all ages love you. They love you and want to support you."

"You do know, I hardly get any money from merch sales, all the money I have is either from wrestling or inheritance."

"Support you from the crowd. They show up to see you wearing your merch, Vince sees that, he keeps booking you. It's the cycle. No one gets a lot of merch money."

"I only have two matches coming up, Shane, our tag match and a match against Chyna for the women's championship on the first of November."

"That's just because we're in a tournament. You don't get booked months ahead when you're in a tournament. We'll be skipped for a few weeks after our match for the rest of the first round to happen and then we'll be wrestling a ton more. Maybe some singles matches thrown in to stay in shape."

"Yeah, skipped over for 'Unforgiven' and maybe then 'No Mercy' and perhaps even 'Rebellion'." Kirby half-jokes.

"Not being booked yet doesn't mean we're being skipped."

"Let's just focus on today, alright." Kirby sighs.

"Good call. Everything is fine and we're beloved by thousands and are gonna have happy well-adjusted kids."

"Yeah, now get your tiny ass back in the store and lets buy some shit."

"You love my tiny ass."

"I love everything about you, mon ange."

"And I love everything about you."

Kirby walks back into the shop, Helms close behind her, "Shane, are you staring at my ass again, babe?"

"You brought up mine first."

"True, but I can feel you staring at me." Kirby murmurs.

"Can't help it. Your ass is so pretty."

Kirby laughs at his comment, stopping in her tracks and making Helms bump into her by accident.

"Sorry about that. What'd you find?"

(pic 35) "Babe, babe look, they make camping gear for toddlers, ain't that cute."

"Oh my god... I know we don't have a toddler yet, but we need it."

"It's adorable." Kirby murmurs.

"What say we fill that seat, hmm?"

"After the wedding, Shane" Kirby whispers, kissing him gently.

"Wedding can't come fast enough."

"I just want to fit in whatever dress I wear on the day and then start looking for maternity clothes."

"That's a valid point."

"Speaking of fitting into a dress, Lita and I are going to be dress shopping tomorrow."

"That sounds like a great time... that I just remembered I can't participate in." He groans. "Might have to take that time to find a proper tux."

"Maybe you should take the Hardy's with you, coordinate your suits, Lita and Trish were talking about the idea of our on screen wedding having the girls in dresses which match our main colours. Like myself in orange, green or white and black."

"Ooh I like that a lot."

"If you see anything you like, tell me babe." Kirby whispers as she kisses his forehead.

"If I like something, you'll know."

Kirby continues walking around with Helms, hand in hand.

"Think I've figured out why I can't find anything that would really make the ranch feel like home." He eventually murmurs.

"Why, babe?" Kirby asks gently.

"You're home to me. Being with you is being home."

Kirby blushes a deep red, "really?" She whispers.

"Yeah. Wherever you are, that's where I want to be."

"Shane, you're gonna make me cry." Kirby murmurs.

"It's the truth." He lets go of her hand and pulls her into a tight hug. "I'm home now."

Kirby's phone going off breaks the moment, 'No Chance in Hell' Vince's theme. Kirby reluctantly pulls away to answer the phone, "Hey Boss."

Helms lets go and takes a step back, cheeks a little pink.

"Yes Boss, I can hear ya ... Yeah, I know Lita's got that DVD filming going on ... you wanna do a DVD on me and Shane?" Kirby looks over at Helms for his thoughts on the idea.

[noellcakes]

It was never the plan

It was never the plan to get pregnant with my first child at 34. Hubby and I were married for ten years before this happened. We assumed one of us had "technical difficulties" but we accepted our apparent fate and planned a life of just the two of us.

It was never the plan to have a complicated pregnancy. Gestational diabetes and low fluid levels meant I had four appointments each week toward the end. Throw in breech positioning and that made one stressed out mama-to-be. My husband, God bless him, kept me philosophically and religiously sound by telling me God doesn't give us what we can't handle, He knew I'd be strong enough to accept all these things, that a weaker person would crumble, which was why He chose me for these trials.

It was never the plan to have an emergency C-section. I was 36 weeks along and my water broke. I'd had a non-stress test that morning and the tech mentioned I had one or two contractions but they were so minimal that they barely registered on the machine. After a day of work and trip to the grocery store, my water broke at home. An ultrasound revealed the baby was still breech so a C-section was needed asap to prevent distress.

It was never the plan to be so in love. I read countless books and articles, heard an infinite amount of people tell me the same thing: you never know how much you are capable of loving someone until you have a child. It wasn't that I didn't believe those people, I just wasn't able to fully comprehend this amount of love.

It was never the plan to lose myself. Before Cecilia was born, I considered myself a relatively well organized woman with a strong insight of who I was, my beliefs, my ethics, my integrity. I had a handle on my work-life balance, enjoyed several different hobbies, and there were no questions about how to spend my time. Now is different. "Myself" is not the priority. My beliefs have been altered, my focus has changed, my mind is set. From the time I wake up until the second I close my eyes at night, my baby is my priority.

It was never the plan to stay at home. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I'd be content to not work. I love my career in ways that are difficult to express. Sure, jokingly, I made comments in the past I wanted to be a stay at home furbaby mom, but I knew I'd go stir crazy. Seeing all the changes my little angel went through in the first few weeks of her life, I knew I wanted to be present for everything. I'd gotten so attached to her, more so than I ever thought possible, my heart would break to do something as selfish as leaving her to go back to work, even if for a few hours each day, even if only part-time. Why selfish? Working means money for luxuries I don't necessarily need. Do I need to have 200 channels on the tv? Do I need to take three vacations a year? Do I need to frivolously spend money on clothes/shoes when I already have two closets jam-packed full? Do I need to go out for dinner more than once or twice a month? The answer to all of these questions is, of course, NO. I'd rather witness all the changes and milestones Cecilia is going to make than buy myself a new shirt, or have too many choices on the tv. These are easy sacrifices I gladly make for my daughter. Bills, yeah, we got ‘em, and we’re spending our money on them instead of ourselves.

It was never the plan to have such a wonderful and supportive husband. Throughout my entire pregnancy and after the birth, he's been my rock, my support, my best friend. He's so hard working and I'm grateful beyond comprehension. From preparing our home, transforming the nursery, helping with cleaning / laundry / dishes, taking care of me post-op / incision care / showering, and now working as much overtime as he can get and every other Saturday, as well as a second job five hours each week to ensure we have the means so I CAN stay home, I really don't know how I got so lucky to call him mine. And he's a doting daddy. My heart bursts when he cuddles our daughter, tells her he loves her, kisses her little forehead, calls her beautiful. How did I get so lucky?

It was never the plan for my life to turn out so wonderful. I always assumed I'd be happy, but never THIS happy. Right now, in the moment of writing this, in the glow of the screen as my fingers brush over the keys to type these words, I know this time is perfect. I'm making sure I appreciate these moments, to absorb Cecilia's growth, to document her changes, to witness her life.

These things were never the plan. This "non plan" U-turn my life has taken ended up being the best thing I never knew I needed or imagined for myself. It's made me realize that plans should never be the plan.

[lucaslooksbrown]

Harvey

Date: Wed, 22 May 2019 13:39:09 -0500 From: gwen uni <unicorn2012111@gmail.com> Subject: Harvey Was A Bitch by Cutter09 gay adult/youth Please remember to donate to Nifty. The thousands of stories available for your reading pleasure is provided by Nifty, so give a little and get a lot. Cutter09 http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html You can find more of my stories listed on the prolific authors page under Cutter09 Harvey Was A Bitch  To say that we were surprised by the impact of Harvey would be an understatement. Being in Houston for years, and having worked on oil rigs in the gulf, I had survived many bad storms. But Harvey was a real bitch.  In my area of town there had been flooding a few years earlier that had come to within a couple of blocks of my highrise apartment. They had said at the time it was a once in five hundred years flood. So, with Harvey imminent, I stocked up on food, water, batteries, etc., and planned to hunker in and ride it out. I was even smart enough to get coolers filled with dry ice for perishables.  I expected power outages, and not being able to get out of the area for a few days, but Harvey decided that wasn't enough of an inconvenience.  I watched the storm from my window on the sixth floor. The wind and rain were incredible. The lights went out fairly early in the storm, and with the flashes of lightning I could see the trees swaying as much as a forty five degree angle.  Across from my building is a very nice subdivision with large houses set on large lots. Many nights I would sit on my balcony and watch the residents around their secluded pools, thinking they weren't being seen as they did all sorts of fun things. A lot of the women liked to sunbathe topless during the day too, and with my binoculars, I got some nice views.  As I watched the storm, I happened to look down at that subdivision. One house in particular, I had seen the lady of the house blowing her hubby poolside one night. I couldn't see the pool.  I thought the storm was just distorting things, so I got out my trusty binoculars. That's when I realized Harvey was a bitch. I couldn't see the pool because it was under water. The car in the driveway was only half visible too. The last flood hadn't even come close to these people's house.  I don't know what the difference was, but within five minutes, the half visible car was no longer visible at all. The water was rising rapidly.  I didn't have a lot of time to consider the situation because another situation knocked at my door just then.  "Oh thank God. I was afraid the whole building was empty," said the young teen boy at my door.  "What are you doing out in this storm?" I asked, opening the door to let him in.  He was a full foot shorter than me at about five feet two inches [1.55 m] tall, maybe a hundred ten pounds [50 kg], tousled light brown hair, big brown eyes.  "I live on the second floor. I didn't know how bad it was, until water started coming under the door. I tried to stop it by putting towels under it, but soon that was useless. It was up to my ankles when I decided to leave, I opened the door, and the water in the hall was already knee deep. I knew the first floor was flooded, so I decide to try and find someone else still in the building. I knocked on every door on the way up. Nobody's here. You're the first one to actually answer the door."  "Where are your parents? Do they need help?"  "No. My mom just married her boyfriend. They're in Paris on their honeymoon."  "They left you alone?"  "No. My grandmother was supposed to check up on me. When we heard the storm was going to be bad, she said she'd come pick me up.That was yesterday. I think something might have happened to her."  "Do you know your mom's cell number?"  "Yes."  Surprisingly I got a signal, and handed him my cell phone. "Call her and let her know you're okay."  "Mom?... Yeah, I'm fine... I don't know where she is, she was supposed to pick me up but I think something happened... I'm with some guy on the sixth floor... Just a second. She wants to speak to you."  "Hello."  "Hello. Uh... Who am I speaking with?"  "Brandon Duncan."  ""Mr. Duncan, how bad is it there?"  "Well, I'm afraid your apartment is completely flooded. The power is out, and the storm isn't letting up. I have food and water to last awhile, so I think we'll be alright."  "We've just heard about the storm, and were going to fly home, but nothing is landing in Houston."  "Don't bother. It's going to be awhile before the water recedes enough to get here even if you were able to land. Just enjoy your honeymoon as much as you can under the circumstances. I'll keep you informed if things worsen."  "Thank you Mr. Duncan."  I handed the phone back to the boy.  "Yes Mom... He does seem like a nice guy... yeah I'll behave... Ok, love you too. Bye."  "So, what's your name kid?"  "Blake."  "Well Blake, are you hungry?"  "A little."  "I doubt that Domino's pizza is delivering tonight, so how about some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?"  He shivered as he nodded his head. I noticed his jeans were soaked halfway up his thighs.  "First, let's find you something to wear."  Leading him to my bedroom by flashlight, I pulled out an old basketball jersey from my bottom drawer.  "It might be a little big, but it will do," I said handing it to him.  Blake wasted little time in taking his jeans off. Then he removed his tee shirt too. I had the flashlight trained on him, and could see his tight white briefs in it's glow. The jersey fit him like a dress, hanging to his thighs. It was then I realized it was mesh, and I could see through it. He either didn't notice, or didn't care.  "Thanks. It feels good to get out of those wet jeans."  I made the sandwiches and poured the last of my milk into two glasses to go with it. At least it wouldn't spoil. I lit a candle and set it on the table. In its dim light, I could still see Blake's chest and and briefs through the mesh material.  After we ate, we stood at the patio door watching the storm ravage the city.  "May I use your toilet?"  "Sure. Down the hall on the left."  I started to lead him there with the flashlight, then had a thought.  "Wait. Uh... the plumbing is probably not going to work. We'll have to go down to water level and do our business in the water."  "Won't it go into people's apartments, including mine?"  "Afraid so. But they're already ruined, and that water is a sewer now too. You don't even want to know all that's in it."  He worked it through his head, and nodded."  I reached for some toilet paper. "Uh... I don't need that right now," he said.  I led him down the stairwell till we reached the water halfway up the second story.  "I never thought I would be doing this," Blake said as he tucked the jersey under his chin.  The beam of the flashlight was soon joined by a stream of urine from Blake. I slowly trailed the beam up the stream to its origin.  Blake had a thumb holding his underwear waistband down, as his other hand held his dick. It was soft, about three and a half inches [8½ cm], fairly thick, with a nice round knob. I could make out a few hairs at its base, and his balls were mashed against his cock by his underwear. I would imagine it being a really nice cock when hard.  When he finished, I turned to go back upstairs.  "Don't you need to go too?" he asked.  "I might as well, since we're already here."  I pulled the waistband of my sweatshorts down in front. It took me awhile to get my stream started since I wasn't in dire need. The whole time, Blake had the flashlight pointed at my cock.  We headed back upstairs after I finished. Blake broke the silence by saying, "I've never seen a dick that big."  "Your's is pretty big too for your age. How old are you anyway?"  "I'll be thirteen next week. You're not mad about me looking at your dick?"  "I can't complain, I looked at yours too. It's only natural. If someone is standing in front of you with their genitals on display, you're gonna look. Male or female, it's hard not to look."  "At school if you're caught looking at another guy's dick, they call you names," Blake noted.  "Yes, that does seem to be the case. It's the unspoken rule in any public restroom. But most guys are gonna look if they can get by with it."  The storm continued to rage outside as we watched from the balcony door. Blake seemed pensive, so I asked him if he was okay.  "Yeah, I guess. It just seems like this storm is never going to end. Do you think we'll be alright here?"  "We're about forty feet [12 m] above the water. If it get's this high, there really isn't anyplace safe to be. Most of Texas would be gone. If worse comes to worse, we'll move higher. This building has ten floors."  Later I showed him to the guest room and left him with a candle. I had barely settled in my bed before the door opened.  "Brandon, can I stay with you?"  "Uh... sure."  He approached the bed, and with the candlelight, I could see he had taken off the jersey. His briefs glowed in the flickering light as he sat the candle down on the bedside table.  He blew out the candle and crawled in beside me. He lay perched on the edge of the bed as if he didn't want to invade my space.  "It's okay to be scared, Blake. This is a really bad storm. A lot of people are scared right now, even grown men."  "Are you scared?"  "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little scared. But I know we're gonna be okay."  Blake moved closer and drew my arm around him, laying his head on my shoulder.  "Thanks, Brandon."  He lay his hand down between our bodies, and discovered I was naked.  "Brandon, are... uh..."  "What?"  "Uh... nothing, never mind. Good night."  "Good night, Blake," I replied placing a light kiss on his head. ***  It was still raining when I woke up, though some light was coming in the windows. Blake lay on his side, drooling on my chest. His morning erection poking at my hip, his hand on my own morning wood. I thought about removing it, but if he woke up at that moment, it might appear as if I was trying to place it there, not remove it.  I decided to just leave it and let him figure out what to do. I lay there about fifteen minutes until Blake began to wake. I feigned sleep as he looked up at my face. He then squeezed my cock, checking how hard it was I guessed. His hand slowly made its way down to the base squeezing it along the way. Then all the way to the head, still squeezing it, checking the length.  He stroked it a couple of times, causing me to moan slightly. This scared his hand away from me, and he rolled onto his back. So I rolled onto my side facing him. I still pretended to be asleep, as I lay my hand down on the front of his underwear.  He let out a moan as my fingers lightly gripped his cotton encased erection. I released it, then moved my hand up to his belly, to slip my fingers under the waistband. He made no move to stop me, so I proceeded down to grip his young cock.  "You have a nice dick, Blake."  "Um..Thanks. I thought you were asleep."  "I was until you played with my cock."  "I'm sorry. I woke up and it was in my hand. I just wanted to see how big it was when it was hard."  "Show me yours, and I'll show you mine," I said with a smile.  He understood the schoolyard humor, and reached for his underwear. Once free of confinement, I could see his dick was a little over five inches [13 cm] long and thick for his age. On his tiny body, it looked huge. He only had a few hairs, and a set of balls that I couldn't wait to run my tongue over.  He got impatient as I stared at his jewels. "Can I see yours now?"  I pulled the cover off us, and got on my knees in front of him.  Blake gazed at it for a moment, then his hand wrapped around it.  He looked up at me and asked, "Can I suck it?"  Thank you God for sending me this angel.  "Only if I get to suck yours too."  He leaned toward me and took it into his mouth. It had been twenty years since I had been with a boy. My best friend Aaron and I had messed around when we were about Blake's age. I have dreamed of being with a boy ever since. Now I had that chance, I was going to take full advantage of it.  I could tell he hadn't ever done this before, but he was very enthusiastic. He knew what he wanted. A cock in his mouth. He yearned to feel it, and taste it. He also wanted what was soon coming his way. A full load of man sperm.  He worked hard for what he knew was his reward. His lips and hand moved in sync, enticing the load from my cock.  "Do you want me to cum in your mouth?"  Blake nodded and picked up the pace.  "I'm cumming."  Blake's cheeks puffed out a bit as my first shot fired. He quickly swallowed, and coaxed the rest out with his hand. Swallowing twice more before slowing his motion. Then he just lovingly sucked on it.  The kid was a natural, and liked it. I had just given him his first taste of something he would crave the rest of his life. Even after taking his mouth away, he still stared at it, wondering when he would get to do it again.  That time would come soon enough, but first, it was my turn. I swooped down and swallowed his boy dick. My mind instantly flooded with the memory of sucking Aaron's dick. His silky hardness filled my mouth, reaching the entrance to my throat. Blake was so turned on by sucking me, he didn't last thirty seconds before I got a taste of his boy cream.  The worst of the storm had passed, but it was still raining. We didn't bother to dress as we went down the stairwell to stand side by side and piss into the water below.  We laughed all the way back to the apartment. Blake immediately reached for my cock. He already needed another serving of cream. Who was I to deny a budding cocksucker.  We were sitting on the sofa, when his face dropped into my lap. His lips wrapped around my cock, and he slowly sild up and down on it. He didn't seem to be trying to make me cum, it was more like he just wanted to enjoy having a cock in his mouth.  I leaned back and let him have his way. His head lay on my stomach as he nursed on my cock, almost like a baby with a pacifier. After a couple of minutes, he pulled it out of his mouth, and held it straight up admiring it. His hand slid up the shaft and swirled around the knob end before sliding back down. Then he put it back in his mouth to nurse on it some more.  "You really like my dick, don't you," I pointed out.  Blake nodded, then pulled away long enough to say "It's beautiful. And so big."  As he put his lips around it again, I slid my hand down to his butt. I squeezed his little butt cheeks before slipping my middle finger into his crack. He pressed back into my hand as I toyed with his pucker. This got him excited enough to start sucking my cock in earnest. His head bobbed up and down my shaft quickly and when he felt my balls tighten up, he took me into his throat for me to explode there.  I pushed my finger into him up to the second knuckle and worked it in and out. Blake grabbed his dick and stroked it twice before firing his load onto his stomach.  "Are you ready for some breakfast?" I asked after we had calmed.  I scrambled eggs on the side burner of my gas grill, and we sat down to eat. I had never sat and ate with a naked teenager, but hoped it wouldn't be the last time. Neither of us seemed bothered by it, in fact I think Blake enjoyed it as much as I. He had a constant smile on his face, and kept glancing down at my cock.  We were cuddling on the sofa when I heard something. A motor. I stepped to the balcony railing and looked down. There was a guy in a bass boat looking for people who needed rescuing.  I yelled down to him, "Hey! Is all of Houston under water?"  "Just about. You need help?"  "If it doesn't get any worse, we'll be alright. It would be hard to get down there anyway. We have food and water to last awhile."  "Ok. I'll swing by again in a day or two to check on you."  "Thanks. I'd appreciate it."  Blake had a smile on his face as I entered the patio door.  "What?" I asked.  "Nothing. At first I thought you were going to ask him to rescue us.  "Do you want to be rescued?"  "You already did," he said, and threw his arms around me.  Later I was teaching him to play the card game 'Spades', and he began looking a little pensive.  "What's wrong?"  "Nothing. I'm just worried."  "We're gonna be just fine. The rain will stop soon, then the water will go down, and you'll be back with your mom."  "That's just it. When they get back we're gonna move in with Lucas."  "He didn't live with you here?"  "No. He's rich, and has a really big house north of here."  "Oh? What's Lucas's last name?" I asked, hoping he wouldn't say Bishop.  "Bishop."  "Shit. He owns the company I work for. He's probably fifty years old. How old is your mom?"  "Thirty. I guess she's like a trophy wife or something. She's really pretty."  Now I was getting curious. "What happened to your dad?"  "Never had one. Mom's worked for Bishop since she was sixteen. He got divorced last year, and started dating my mom."  "Had you met him before they started dating?"  "Yeah, he's been to our place lots of times. I can't remember when he wasn't around."  Okay, things were getting clearer. There has always been rumors about Bishop and a young girl. So, putting the rumors with this information, I would guess that Bishop knocked up a sixteen year old girl, kept her and her son around, divorced his wife and now married the mother of his son, I also knew he only had two daughters by his first wife. Maybe he decided he wanted a male heir.  "Well, after this storm, I'm sure you would have to move anyway."  "You're right. I know. But now that I've met you, I don't think I want to move. I've never been so comfortable around anybody like I am with you."  He reached for my cock again. "I've never been able to sit around naked with anybody, or play with their dick, and let them play with mine, like I can with you."  "You know, I will probably have to move too. The lobby is gone, all resident services are gone, the elevator probably won't work for a long time. It will be at least a year before this building is habitable again. Maybe I'll check into a hotel near where you live, and we can still see each other."  This brought a smile to his face. "Will you really? You will still want to see me after all this is over?" He seemed surprised that I would want to.  "Of course I will. Why wouldn't I?" I asked.  "I sorta thought this was like a convenience for you. You know. Like, 'I'm stuck with this kid, I might as well get my dick sucked' kinda thing."  "I don't let just anyone suck my dick. You're a beautiful boy and I like you a lot. And you have a pretty suckable dick too," I laughed.  My cock had grown hard in his hand. He was staring at it while lost in thought for a moment.  "So... If I wanted to do more, would you?" he asked without looking away from my cock.  "More? Like what?"  He hesitated for a moment, then said, "I really liked the way your finger felt in me this morning..."  "So you want to try something a little bigger?"  Blake smiled and nodded at me.  "I'm pretty big. Are you sure you want to?"  "I trust you."  I used my fingers, then a couple of different sized candles, to stretch him a bit. With each progressively larger item, he moaned and groaned as his hole was widened, but he never said stop. In fact, he seemed to enjoy every step of the way. His dick receded at each step, then returned to rigid hardness as I worked the candle in and out.  Blake lay on his back, and I was poised at his opening when I gave him one last chance to back out.  "Are you sure?"  He smiled and pulled my cock to his hole. "Please fuck me."  I leaned down to kiss him as I applied pressure. All the prep work had helped, and I popped in fairly easily. Blake groaned into my kiss, and wrapped his arms around me. I moved slowly in and out, gaining ground with every third or fourth stroke. He moaned as I took possession of each additional inch of his chute.  At about six inches [15 cm], I tried just fucking him with that, but he wanted more. Bucking up at me, and wrapping his legs around me to pull me deeper, I gave in and slowly fed him the last three inches [7 cm] of thick cockmeat.  As my balls banged against his butt cheeks, Blake screamed out, "Oh God!"  I felt his dick throbbing between our bellies as he unloaded his cream there. When his orgasm passed, Blake's lips met mine again, and he humped his hips up at me wanting more fucking. I obliged, and started to pound him pretty hard.  This kid was born to be fucked. I've never had a woman who was as enthusiastic and responsive as Blake was. His moans of pleasure in my ear were just as exciting as his tight tunnel gripping my cock.  His second orgasm pushed me over the brink, and I unleashed my cum in his colon. I collapsed on top of him, and we both tried to recover.  "Are you okay?" I asked after a couple of minutes.  "Couldn't be better," he whispered.  I started to pull away. "Please don't take it out yet. I like the way you feel inside me."  Looking down at him I said, "Where have you been all my life?"  "The first fifteen years or so of it, I wasn't born yet," Blake laughed, causing his ass to squeeze my cock.  "Just for that..." I said, and jerked my cock from his butt.  "Ooh... That was mean," Blake complained.  "It's up to us old guys to teach you young whippersnappers a lesson."  He pulled me back for a kiss. "Lesson learned. Now put it back in me."  "Later. Let's get something to eat."  Blake made his way downstairs to our toilet, as I grilled steaks and roasted corn on the gas grill. The rain had slowed, but still coming.  "The water didn't get to the third floor, but almost. And I think it's gone down some."  He sat with a big grin and watched me going to and fro as I prepared our dinner. His gaze never far from my swinging cock. When I sat the plates on the table, he stood on his toes and leaned up for a kiss. I leaned down to kiss him, and his hand grabbed my cock.  "I feel like a girl on her honeymoon, and I can't wait till my husband fucks me again."  I didn't make him wait too long. As soon as it was too dark to see, we went to bed. Blake was so anxious, he practically raped me. He pushed me onto my back, straddled me, and impaled himself on my pole. In the flickering candlelight, I watched his face. There was nothing but pure bliss to be seen. His dick was hard and drooling as he rode me. He soon squirted out his first orgasm, and I flipped him over and fucked him hard. ***  The man in the bass boat returned, but we declined assistance. The water slowly receded, and we spent the time fucking and sucking as it did.  As suspected, there was nothing in his apartment worth saving. The lobby area was even worse, and I knew I was going to have to move.  When I heard the first cars moving down on the streets below, I told Blake he should get dressed.  An hour later there was a knock at the door. Blake's mom and her new husband were happy to see Blake.  "As soon as I heard your name, I knew Blake was in good hands," my boss said.  "How is that sir?" I asked, taking his offered handshake.  "I make it a point to know about my employees. I told Tammy to relax, that you would make sure Blake was safe."  I wasn't aware that Mr. Bishop even knew my name.  Blake's mom still had him in a strangling hug as Bishop said, "Pack a bag. There's no reason to stay here. You're coming with us."  Blake told of how scared he had been and that I took really good care of him. He loved telling how we used the staircase as a toilet.  "Just think Mom, you probably walked through my poop on your way to the apartment."  She turned to her husband and said, "I'm throwing these shoes away." Which brought a laugh to everyone.  Bishop's house is excessively huge and luxurious. I was assigned a bedroom next to Blake's. I was a bit apprehensive when Blake snuck into my room the first night. That didn't stop me from planting his face in the pillow and fucking the life out of him.  It was two weeks before I could get my stuff packed and moved. Bishop gave me a condo in the building across the street from our company headquarters. I got the impression it was where he had taken sixteen year old Tammy and put Blake in her belly. Probably spent many a lunch hour there with her since then too.  My new position as 'Head of Operations' pays double what I was making before, and Bishop never questions the amount of time I spend with Blake.  He has however mentioned how well Blake fills out a speedo, then adds "As I'm sure you know." I suspect he knows about our relationship.  He says Blake and I are like the two sons he never had. I know that I am the only one that isn't his son, and since Tammy is pregnant now, maybe he'll have another.  Yes, Harvey was a real son of a bitch to Houston, but it was great to me. The End © Cutter09 Please send comments: Cutter09 would love to hear what you think of the story! Do you enjoy having access to all the great fantasy material and also having a place to share your own stories without having to censer them for a general audience? Please donate to Nifty and help support and maintain this free service. http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html

[duanecbrooks]

The Return Of Girls Gone Write     Further unmistakable evidence that women, by and large, are the superior writers: the former George W. Bush press secretary and current Fox News host Dana Perino's my-life-with-my-dog-Jasper memoir Let Me Tell You About Jasper...: How My Best Friend Became America's Dog and the large-screen sprite Anna Kendrick's personal/professional memoir Scrappy Little Nobody. These two books are, frankly, flat-out joys to read, the former being a frequently warmhearted, often humorous, always heartfelt telling of her life and experiences with her pet dog Jasper, who, as she convincingly claims, has become the real and true star of the Perino family; the latter being an engaging, sprightly, consistently witty literary self-examination of one of the modern-day American cinema's most succulent and most appealing chicks. To partake of these tomes consecutively, both from beginning to end, is to spend quality time with a pair of delightfully quirky, keenly aware, firmly articulate she-babes who, each in her own way, have a marvelous sense of proportion, a marvelous refusal to see themselves as having any kind of Greatness.             Before getting into just exactly why these superb books are superb, allow me to go into how I first became aware of Kendrick (If you'll remember, Perino first came into my life via her first-rate within-the-George W. Bush-administration memoir And The Good News Is...: Lessons and Advice from the Bright Side). Kendrick caught my attention, as do many other other folks and things these days, via YouTube. Specifically, first, during a compilation of Kathie Lee/Hoda's "best" Today "celebrity moments," wherein, when Kendrick was asked whether or not she'd like to play a game, she facetiously mimicked Nader and replied mock-earnestly: "No! I hate games! I hate fun, I hate laughing!" (Later, she was shown doing some mock-dirty dancing with said girls); second, during a trailer for one of Kendrick's more recent theatrical films, namely Get A Job, the aforementioned trailer's two highlights, for me, being 1) this scene where Kendrick's filmic character, Jillian by name, is sitting on the floor lamenting the fact that she spent almost all of the money she had on a BITCHIIN' pair of shoes, while clad in a pair of equally bangin' black toreador pants that, given her sitting position, magnificently show off her magnificently long, lean legs and her magnificently-proportioned bare feet; and 2) a long shot of Kendrick adorned in a man's white shirt and tie and black high heels and again displaying those stylishly long, lean legs. Thus I was already primed, due to being previously turned on by Kendrick, to favor her tome.             It's here where I'll deal with the highlights of both books, the places where our memoirists especially grab ahold of and, simultaneously, charm and delight us.               .Perino, on the vast network of fans/friends that has developed due to her having Jasper: "It is a bit wonderful that through television and social media, Jasper and I became friends with so many people across the country. I enjoy interacting with my followers and fans, and I really feel that we have modern-day friendships--people I've never met, but that I've come to know over time through short digital interactions. It has widened my circle of people I talk to, and it's deepened my appreciation for people from all walks of life. I now get a chance to communicate with people I wouldn't have ever known; the Internet has given us a way to connect and network that didn't exist before. We're all neighbors now (with the proper amount of fencing to keep things friendly).               "Often this new group of people has cheered me up or warmed my heart just when I needed it. Working in politics and live cable television can be stressful, and switching off at the end of the day isn't always easy. Jasper's following has actually given me a way to set aside the work portion of my day and exchange some messages with my electronic friends, which helps me keep grounded and cheerful."                 .Kendrick, on her brother Mike: "My brother is my hero. I've idolized him since the day I was born and I still do. He's responsible for at least sixty percent of my personality, for better or worse. I'm told that if you're an only child, you grow up thinking you're the center of the universe, and if you have tons of siblings you grow up with a healthy perspective on how small you are in the grand scheme of things. I'd like to think that my brother told me I was a worthless brat often enough that I got the same effect...     "Mike's main interests [when we were kids] were watching Star Wars, playing Magic: The Gathering, and avoiding his annoying little sister. The only time he happily included me was when he wanted to play 'Pro Wrestling Champions,' as I was an ideal partner on which to inflict moderate injury."           .Perino, on Jasper's television debut: "Jasper made his debut on The Five [Perino's Fox News political talk show] as a sleepy puppy at just two months old, and a star was born. I brought him on set and when we were back from commercial break, I showed him off for the camera. He looked right into the lens with his deep blue eyes (a Vizsla [Jasper's breed] is born with blue eyes that eventually turn amber). He snuggled into me. Hearts melted.             "Jasper has tons of personality and is as photogenic as any dog I've known. On Jasper's birthday, my [The Five] producer lets him come on the show and he sits on a chair, for the most part, wearing a bow tie collar, and you would think he knows exactly what he's doing when he looks into the teleprompter. He's certainly better behaved than [Five co-host Greg] Gutfield."             .Kendrick, on her early period as an actor: "Starting in theater gave me a basic work ethic that I may not have gotten if I started in film and television. I worked six days a week, eight shows a week (two shows on Wednesdays and Saturdays, Mondays off). It wasn't so much the schedule--I worked in accordance with child labor laws--it was that I was held accountable for my work.             "Once, during rehearsals, our director was playing with the shape of a musical number that involved most of the cast--which jokes should stay, where they should go, etc. He decided to try reinstituting a small joke I'd had in a previous draft, and we started the number again from the top. I lost where we were in the music and I opened my mouth to say the line, a measure too late. He was already shaking his head and signaling the pianist to stop.             "'Anna just lost a line. Let's go back to how it was before and start again.'"         .Perino, on her period as W.'s press secretary: "[B]ecoming the White House press secretary was the best thing that ever happened to my career. I learned so much--about policy, world affairs, management, and politics.             "But the most important lesson I learned working for President Bush was about character and how to conduct myself under stress and attack. I found out how to be productive despite obstacles, and appreciated how a communicator can help calm a situation, advance a negotiation, or lead to a solution.               "The press secretary is the pinnacle for a public relations professional--it was the opportunity of a lifetime.                 "But having worked in politics for so many years, I'd built up a fairly tough exterior. The daily battles can wear a person out, and in some ways, I became edgier and harder than I'd ever been.         "It was also a lofty position, and the surest way you can lose your way in Washington, D.C., is to let any of that power or prestige go to your head.             "Throughout those years [first dog] Henry kept me from losing sight of what was important in life: appreciation and gratitude for my health and blessings, and the love I shared with [hubby] Peter and our dog."     .Kendrick, on her early life as a struggling actor: "The next pilot season [for television series] was starting up, which meant I was usually sent on one to four auditions a day. I discovered MapQuest and wrote down directions by hand since I didn't have a printer. Between that and my growing knowledge of the city, I was only getting lost, like, six times a day. Pilot season is grim because you're sent in for everything, no matter how wrong you are for it. I kept a mountain of clothes and accessories in my trunk so I could go from the fourteen-year-old goth daughter on a TNT drama to the spoiled twenty-two-year-old receptionist on a workplace comedy. It's obvious now that splitting my focus made it responsible for me to do well on any of them, but I was in no position to turn down auditions.               "How do I describe my personal life during this time? I met funny, interesting people. I went to art galleries downtown, I performed a one-woman show for free on the street corner. Except none of that's true. I spent most of my time trying to find ways to occupy myself without spending money or ingesting calories."                     .Perino, on what she terms Jasper's "protest pee": "When I wrote And the Good News Is... I received a lot of gifts for Jasper, including an embroidered quilt with the Great Seal of the United States. It is beautiful and functional. [Peter and I] take it with us to our friends' homes if we are invited to stay the night, because, well, you try telling Jasper he can't sleep on the bed. With the quilt, we're covered. Literally and figuratively.                   "When we're at our place in South Carolina, leaving him in the house is even more stressful. For a while, whenever we'd go out, we'd come home and find that he'd peed on the floor. As soon as we'd walk in, we'd know something happened, because Jasper would grab a toy as he always does, but instead of frantic joy and butt wagging, his tail would be down and he'd look guilty. It was hard to discipline him because you're supposed to catch them in the act. [Hubby] Peter would get pretty made at Jasper, and I'd feel terrible.                 "'He's so scared to be left alone,' I'd say.           "'No, he's being a brat,' Peter responded."                   .Kendrick, on behavior at showbiz events: "There's a campaign called #AskHerMore, which was started by some thoughtful, intelligent females (Lena Dunham, Reese Witherspoon, Shondra Rimes, etc.). It aims to ensure that when women attend events, they are asked about more than their dresses. Men don't answer questions about their clothes; why should we [women]? A simple and understandable request.                 "However, if people could ask me less, that would be great. I would love it if we could limit my red carpet topics to my favorite colors, what sound a duck makes, and my thoughts on McDonald's All-Day Breakfast--blessing or curse?"                 Also: Nearly the final half of Perino's book consists of various @FiveFanPhotoshops pictures that very humorously show Jasper in a collection of quite colorful poses--Jasper painting a portrait of Perino's former boss, W.; Jasper as a race-car driver; Jasper and Perino involved in the Kentucky Derby with the latter on top of the former, et al. And Kendrick's tome closes with a "Bonus Reading Group Guide," wherein there are "a few questions to help you get the most out of your reading experience."(As an addend, Kendrick wittily 1] apologizes for the "fact" that her "Guide" offers no red meat for those of us who "happen to run a trashy celebrity news blog that requires you to peruse the content of privileged cretins like me"; and 2] gives us permission to "use these questions [in the "Guide"] as a template for creating misleading but juicy headlines." She winds up by, also wittily, summing up what she, so she claims, is conveying: "[F]amous white girls are really fun to be mad at") Among the queries asked in the "Guide":                                        .."Though every page of Scrappy Little Nobody is perfect in every                           way, which part is your favorite? Make a list (it can be a Post-it that                           says, 'Every part is my favorite') and tape it to your chest for the rest                                 of the day."                                        .."When Anna compares Zac Efron to Charles Manson, is she making                                 a joke or trying to warn us about a potential murderous mastermind?"                                .."In the sections about Alexa Chung and Olivia Palermo, the author                           viciously maligns two innocent and very fashionable girls. Is Anna a                           shady, basic bitch, or the shadiest, basic-est bitch?"                                       .."Anna makes a lot of bad decisions. Can you think of a time when                                 you've made a bad decision? Oh wow, really? We're gonna pretend                                   you can't think of a single example? YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER                             THAN ME?!"             And thus there are the books of Dana Perino and Anna Kendrick, the former being a greatly stylish, consistently witty, always loving paean to a dog who is not only a beloved pet but, as Perino very convincingly limns, one of the most well-known and well-regarded personalities in America (easily, happily, well above and beyond any yammering about "animal rights"); the latter being an engagingly lively, undeniably honest, unrelievedly funny self-portrait of a celebrity gal who is obviously on the sides of life and living, whose unflinchingly upbeat, never-say-die attitude comes through in literally every paragraph.                 In the much-lauded theatrical film The Magic of Belle Isle, the single Mom Charlotte O'Neill (Virginia Madsen), during an evening dinner with her daughters and that evening's guest, the renowned Western novelist Monte Wildhorn (Morgan Freeman), asserted: "I've always felt that a book does something no friend could: Stay quiet when you want to think." To partake of the Perino and Kendrick tomes as they "[s]tay quiet" is to have you "wanting to think" about them--always favorably and, very often, with unsheathed laughter.