#How To Get Your Natural Skin Color Back Fast 5

[justmeinadaze]

Always Behind You: 5 Years Later (Eddie X You)

A/N: I had been having some PTSD nightmares of my own so this idea came to mind. <3.

Series Here/ Tip Jar

Warnings: Husband/Father Eddie Munson & Wife/Mother Fem Y/N, SMUT, handcuffed metalhead, dirty talk, etc. FLUFF, they love each other and Eddie loves his son.

ANGST, this is 5 years after the events of the last chapter and 6 years after their battle in the upside down. Eddie is having nightmares about "becoming a monster" and hurting the reader. An incident happens where while dreaming he accidentally hurts her (marks on her face are mentions after). Reader is worried about her husband and mentions it to Steve. Some typical PTSD behavior is displayed within Eddie (shortness in patience, snapping at reader, internalizing, jumpiness and anxious behavior).

Both mention past trauma with their parents (very brief).

As someone with PTSD, I know how hard it is to handle every day. Just know that if you are experiencing mental health issues of your own, you are not alone and your feelings are valid. You got this <3.

Word Count: 5194

Eddie pants as he continues to run through downtown Hawkins. Red lightening filled the sky as thunder cracked shaking the ground beneath him. His legs were sore but he couldn’t afford to stop; he had to get to you both. 

When he awoke, he was in the upside down again with Vecna towering over him. The demon’s wicked smirk terrified him but not as much as the setting around him. Somewhere far off, he heard you screaming and without hesitation ran towards the sound. 

When he found himself at your shared home, he ran to the door but found it locked. 

“Y/N! It’s me, baby! Open the door!”

The sky lit up again startling the metalhead before kicking at the wood in front of him. He was amazed that one swift kick was enough causing the door to fly off its hinges but he can’t think about that now. Tearing through the house, he hunts for you; you and his son. 

“Y/N?! Christopher?! Where are you guys!?”

Abruptly, your smell hits his nose and he follows it down the hallway to your shared bedroom. He found you talking to the closet door before immediately shutting it tight and turning to face him. 

“E-Eddie…”

His eyebrows furrowed at your scared tone. Maybe it was just fear from everything going on outside. 

“Baby, thank God you’re ok—” As he stepped forward, you stepped back, flinching as his hands reached for you. “Talk to me, sweetheart, what’s going on?”

“Please, Eddie. Just go…”

The sound of sniffling pierced his ears and hit his heart. 

“Where’s Chris? Is he ok?”

“H-He will be if you leave now.”

“Y/N, I don’t—” As he took another step forward, he caught his reflection in the vanity mirror nearby. His skin was incredibly pale and his eyes were illuminating a bright red color that startled even him. When he gasped, he noticed his teeth were pointer than they had been before. “Y/N…what…what’s happening to me?”

“Please, Eddie. Just go.”

“Y/N, PLEASE! I don’t know what’s happening!” His body shoots towards you and grips your biceps making you wince. He was much stronger and faster now. “What happened, honey? Am I…is this hell?”, he whispered as tears left his eyes. 

A smell hits his nose again and he knows it instantly as he glances towards the closet doors. Noticing his eyeline, you push him hard away from you and block it with your body. 

“LEAVE! NOW!”

The anger came on so fast it was hard to control; it felt almost…natural.

“Or what?!”, he growled. “You can’t keep my son from me, Y/N!”

“I don’t want to but look at you! You’re not the man I married!”

Ringed fingers wrapped around your throat as he yanked you closer till his nose was touching yours. 

“You’re right.”  Your face scrunched in disgust as he inhaled the smell of your skin. “I’m better.”

Eddie shot up in bed, sweat drenching him as his panicked eyes took in his surroundings. He was in your shared home but you weren’t beside him. Hastily, he threw back the covers, practically sprinting to his son’s room to make sure he was there before breathing a sigh of relief when he found you both sleeping with your arms cuddled around his three-year-old’s tiny form. 

As carefully as he could, he lifted you from the bed and without hesitation you curled into his chest. After placing you under the covers of your own bed, Eddie too tenderly kissed your forehead and brushed some of your hair behind your ear. 

It had been 5 years since the incident with Andy and almost 6 since your battle in the upside down where he almost died. You both had continued to go to therapy to heal from everything that happened but every big event would occasionally instigate an episode. 

The night he proposed, you had nightmares of him being killed by those bats that would have you trembling in the corner of your bedroom for hours until Eddie was able to talk you back down. During your small wedding, you both were a bit more jumpy than normal. Nancy had brought the cake and when it came time to cut it, she asked Robin to grab plates. Being the beautiful, clumsy soul she was she accidently dropped a few causing a loud crash to echo through Hopper’s cabin. You jumped three feet in the air and Eddie promptly pushed you behind him to protect you before realizing everything was ok. 

When you found out you were pregnant, that seemed to trigger the most between you both. There were nights where Eddie wouldn’t sleep at all and you found him either chain smoking outside on the patio or in the baby’s room building things for him like his crib or a bookshelf. 

You yourself had become clingier, desperately needing him near you or at least within shouting distance so you knew he was safe. When your son was born, for those first few months Eddie gave new meaning to the word protective, snapping at people including you if he felt like whatever was happening could get his baby hurt. 

Thankfully, the good moments outweighed the intense ones. You both were wonderful parents especially your husband. Eddie showed him every metal band he could think of and Chris absolutely loved watching him play guitar. His little chocolate eyes would stare at his fingers as they moved and as soon as he finished a song, he would clap his little hands together. 

As a partner, Eddie was always doting and there when you needed him. He still took you on dates for some alone time and bought you little gifts just because he wanted to see you smile. 

Heading for the bathroom, the metalhead washed his face of the clammy sweat that still clung to him before staring at himself in the mirror. He still looked the same as he normally did all be it with frizzier hair and bags under his eyes. No fangs, red eyes, or a strong need to hurt the woman he loved. 

Sighing, he turned off the bathroom light and climbed back into bed beside you, pulling you to his chest as he kissed your shoulder. 

***

“Hey, no. Eat some of the strawberries, please.”

Chris sticks his tongue out at you making you giggle as Eddie smiles at the sound from the bedroom as he gets ready for work. Hopper was able to get him a salary income like you at the station fixing up the cruisers as well as anything else that may break around the building. 

As your husband comes around the corner, your son smiles his way as he waves in his direction.

“Hi, daddy.”

“Hey, kid. Causing problems?”

“No!”, the boy cackles as he covers his mouth. “Mommy mean.”

“Mommy’s being mean? What are you doing to him, witch?!”

“I’m forcing him to eat healthy. I know, I’m awful.”

Smirking, Eddie reaches into his son’s bowl and takes a bite of the strawberry, nodding his head and making tiny yum sounds before pretending to gag as he collapses behind the counter out of Chris’s view. After a few seconds, he jumps up and smiles wide. 

“Delicious. Ok, sweetheart, I’ll see you in about an hour?”

“Yes, sir.”

Oh, I love it when you talk dirty.”, he teases as he leans down to place a kiss on your lips. “See you later, bud.”

“Bye-Bye, daddy!”

#########################

Eddie lazily smiles as you softly kiss up his chest, his new silver wedding band shining against the moonlight from the window as he tenderly pets your head. 

“Are you alright, Mr. Munson? I didn’t break you or anything did I?”

“No, Mrs. Munson, not yet anyway.” You grin as his thumb runs along your bottom lip. “I’m just thinking about how lucky I am to have you.”

“Hm. Sounds like the orgasm talking.”

Your body moves with his as he laughs at your joke. 

“That may be part of it.”, he admits. “After everything we’ve been through, you were always there.  I love you so much, princess.”

Your lips connect with his and he wraps you in his arms as he spins you around until your underneath him. 

“I love you to, Eddie. I’ll always be there for you no matter what…freak.”

***

The metalhead jumped when your hand touched his back. 

“Fuck, Y/N!”

“I’m so sorry, Eddie, I thought you heard me coming.”

“No, I didn’t! I’ve got my head under this hood; I can barely hear fucking anything! You have to be more careful, goddamn it!” Blinking, he promptly sees the hurt and worry in your face before anger replaces it and you turn to walk away. “Wait, wait, sweetheart. Shit. I’m so sorry. I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night and I’m just…I’m sorry.”, he pleads after blocking your path. 

“I don’t care, Eddie. You don’t get to talk to me like that. It’s not like I snuck up on you on purpose or anything!”

“I know, baby. I know. I’m sorry. What do you need, princess, tell me.”

“Steve and Robin invited us to a little thing they are having at their house tonight.”

“Oh, Y/N. Can we skip it tonight? Maybe we can do something—”

“We haven’t seen them in a while and I thought it would be nice to get out of the house, you know? Just you and me with our friends. Please.”

“Please, Eddie. Just go.”

Your words from his dream echoed clearly in his head as he stared past you into the void. 

“Eddie? Are you alright?” When he didn’t respond, you slowly stepped towards him and cupped his face in your hands. “Come back to me, honey.”

“I’m here, babe. I’m sorry. Like I said I had a rough night so…”

“Anything I should know about?”

The entire dream flashes in front of his eyes including your fear of him hurting you and Chris. 

“No, sweetheart. I’m just working too hard, ya know? Especially with your sexy ass distracting me. Get out of here.”, he teases as he spanks your behind with his bandana in his back pocket making you laugh. 

***

“Hey, bud.”, Steve calls as he steps out onto his back patio where the metalhead was smoking a cigarette. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, man. I’m fine. I just needed to come out here and get some air.”

“Hm.”

Eddie glanced his way before smirking and taking sip of some of the liquid in glass. 

“Y/N sent you out here, didn’t she?”

“Um, technically no.”, his friend laughed. “She was talking to Robin about how worried she was about you and she sent me to come check on you.” 

“She’s always worried about me which is fair after everything but—”

“It’s a bit suffocating?”

“It can be.”, he chuckles. “Uh, Steve, do you have any nightmares about…Vecna or the bats…anything like that?”

“Not in a while. Sometimes I dream about Y/N being upset with me because we couldn’t get you back to her.” Eddie’s swivels to stare at his friend. “Oh, yeah. I don’t know how much you remember but the way she was screaming for us in the upside down…I’ve never heard anything so heartbreaking… She loves you a lot.”

“Yeah… and I love her…”

“Have you been having any dreams or anything like that.”

Eddie knows he should tell Steve about what he saw. In therapy they taught him how to be more open when it came to things like this but he just couldn’t get over the fear in your eyes. Everyone in town already thought he was a murderer and if he went around telling people he was having dreams about hurting you what would they say? What would his best friends say? What about you? Would you leave him? Take your son and run for fear of your lives?

“Naw, dude. I’ve been good.”

################

Eddie’s eyes widen as he takes in the small baby in his arms. It had been a rough birth but now that he was finally here and you were asleep, he was able to hold his son as he sat near your bed. 

“Hey Christopher. I’m your daddy.”, he whispers as he runs his thick finger over the little boy’s plump cheek. “Your mommy and I are so happy you’re here. You picked good parents because we love you so much. I love you…so much… no matter what happens, I’m always going to be there for you. I’ll be right behind you and mommy every step of the way.”

His son coos as his fist curls around his finger making Eddie smile. 

***

Eddie’s fingers wrapped tightly around your throat as he watched your eyes start to go dark. 

The closet door abruptly opens as Chris runs out of your bedroom and down the hall.

Dropping you to the floor, the man sprints after him as you try to stop him. 

“NO! Eddie, please!”

Tackling him to the ground, he tries to calm his son as he lifts him to his feet. 

“Christopher, it’s ok. It’s me. It’s daddy.”

“Not ma, daddy! Bad man!”

“No, buddy. It’s me. I’m going to get you somewhere safe, ok?!”

Behind him, he heard screeching as a dark cloud suddenly hovered over the house. Glass breaks in the bedroom and Eddie promptly falls to the floor to protect his son with his body.  The sound of the bats flying through the living room reverberate through his ears before he feels claws dig into his shoulder. 

“No! I won’t let you hurt him!”, he shouted as he extended his arm and swatted at the creature trying to grab him. 

You gasp loud enough to jolt your husband awake as you stumble fully to the ground grasping your cheek where his hand hit you. 

“B-Baby? Y/N?! Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t mean to—”

“Daddy?”

Eddie’s head shot up to see Chris leaning against his doorframe with his favorite stuffed animal under his arm. 

“It’s…It’s ok, buddy. Everything’s ok. Just go back to bed.”

“Mommy? Are you ok?”

“She’s fine, Christopher, now do what I asked!”

Your son jumped at his father’s tone, never hearing him ever raise his voice and definitely not towards him. As he tried to brush some of your hair back so he could see your face, you roughly pushed him back as you got to your feet and powerwalked to the boy’s bedroom, slamming the door behind you.

***

The therapist’s gaze shifted between you and your husband as you both silently sat across from her on the couch. Sometime in the morning, you had left with Chris and didn’t come back till it was time for your session. 

“I have to ask, Y/N, because of what I’m seeing but is everything safe in your house right now?”

“I don’t know.”, you whispered causing Eddie to fold in on himself. 

“Do you want to tell me what happened that caused that bruise on your cheek?”

“I…I woke up and Eddie was gone. I heard him talking in the living room so I went to go check on him and when I grabbed his shoulder… he-he hit me…”

“On purpose?”

“Of course fucking not. I would never hurt my wife or my son.”, your husband growled. 

“You said you were protecting him.”, you responded as you continued to face forward. “You said ‘daddy is here’ and that ‘everything will be ok.’”

“Are you having nightmares again, Eddie?” Guiltily, he averted his gaze and your jaw tighten when you noticed out of the corner of your eye. “What’s going on, Y/N? What are you thinking?”

“He told me he was fine when I asked him if he was having nightmares and he told our best friend the same thing.”

“I thought I could handle it.”

“Well, obviously not.”, you snapped finally turning his way. “What if it had been Chris you hit!? What if you hurt yourself, Eddie?! We promised each other when things were getting bad again we would let the other know!”

“You think I don’t know that?! I didn’t think…!”, he paused, lowering his voice before continuing. “I didn’t think it had gotten that bad.”

“What were you dreaming about?”, the doctor asked.

“I don’t want to…I can’t talk about it…”

“Why?”

“I’m afraid. I don’t want people to think I’m unstable and come after me again. I have a family now and I won’t put my son through that.”

“I don’t believe you.” At your words, Eddie glares your way as his eyes narrow. “That may be part of it but…I’ve known you since middle school. I know when you aren’t telling me everything.”

The man’s lips pout as he gives his attention back to the therapist in front of him. 

“I…I don’t want her or my son to be afraid of me.” As his voice cracks, your heart breaks. “In my dreams, I think someone is coming to hurt her but in reality…it’s me. I’m the monster coming for her. How do I tell my wife, the woman I’ve been in love with since we were 13, who suffered through the worst experience of my life with me, and gave me a beautiful, sweet kid that I love with every fiber of my being…that I’ve been dreaming about hurting her?”

“DO you want to hurt her?”

Eddie’s eyes darkened as he glared at the doctor in front of him. 

“I’m not my father.”

“That didn’t answer my question.”

“NO. I don’t want to hurt Chris or Y/N. I would rather die than hurt them.”

“Is that why you didn’t talk to Y/N about it allowing you to suffer in silence?” The man blinked as he leaned back on the couch. He hadn’t thought of it like that. “But, Eddie, do you see how it still hurt them? If you had talked to her, maybe Y/N could have helped you.”

“Like that night I almost lost you…”

“Fuck me. Y/N, baby, I didn’t even—”

“I know. You didn’t think. You were playing fucking hero again sacrificing yourself for the people around you.”

##################

“Hey, bud. Can I tuck you in?”, Eddie asked his son as he leaned in the doorway outside the boy’s bedroom. When Chris quietly nodded, he took the picture book from the young man’s hands and laid down beside him. 

“Daddy? Why did you hurt mommy?”

A heavy sigh left his chest as the man pulled his child closer to his side. 

“That is a bit complicated but… before you were born mommy, daddy, uncle Steve, aunt Nancy and aunt Robin… went on an adventure that… left an impression on us.”

“Impession?”

“Yeah like, um, ok, you know when mommy gives you a big kiss before work and she gets lipstick stuck on your cheek? Kinda of like that.” When Chris nods and giggles at the explanation, Eddie beams down at him before continuing. “Even though we’re all safe now, sometimes we still get scared. That’s what happened last night. Daddy was having a nightmare and accidently… hurt mommy…but you know I would never hurt either of you on purpose. I love you both so much.”

The little boy nods again as he reaches up to wrap his arms around his chest to hug him tightly. 

“I know, daddy! I love ya to.”

Eddie held his son till he heard the soft breathes of him sleeping as he tenderly pet his curls. After tiptoeing out of his bedroom, he cautiously stepped into your shared one where he found you sitting on the bed with tears lightly falling down your face. 

“I like the analogy you made for him…with my lipstick…”, you smile as he takes a seat on the end of the mattress. “Eddie, you should have told me.”

“You’re right, honey. I should have…I just… like I said. How do I tell you or anyone that I dream of Vecna waking me up and turning me into a monster that wants to hurt you?” Your eyes blink in confusion as you wait for him to explain. “In my dream, I’m looking for you to protect you but when I find you…you’re afraid of me. You beg me to leave for Chris’s sake and when you won’t tell me where he is…” The metalhead averts his gaze at the thought as he stares into the memory. “What’s even worse is in my dream, I want to hurt you.”

“In your dream last night, were you hurting me?”

“No.”, he answers with a whisper. “Chris ran out from his hiding place and the bats were trying to get into the house. I was shielding him with my body when they crashed through a window and were tugging at my clothes… Y/N, I am so sorry. I would never hurt—”

“You’re not him, Ed; your father.” Your husband’s eyes meet yours as you wipe at your cheeks. “We’re always so focused on what we went through with Vecna that I think sometimes we forget the other things we’ve been through like…sometimes I have dreams that I’m demeaning you the way my mother did with my father or my mom takes Chris without telling me and I can’t find him. When I was pregnant and they told me he was a boy, I felt guilty for being happy because I was afraid if I had a girl…I’d hurt her like my mother did with me.”

“Sweetheart.”, Eddie cooed lightly as he placed himself beside you and you immediately climbed into his arms. “You’re right, baby. I didn’t even think… I feel like there’s this dormant Munson gene that could be awakened at any time, you know?”

“Like in your dream? With Vecna suddenly appearing and making you a monster?”

“Fuck.”, he breathes. “I should have talked to you, Y/N. I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t think about it like that. I thought I could handle it and I didn’t want to scare you or Steve.”

“Don’t leave me again, Eddie. Don’t sacrifice your wellbeing to ‘protect’ me. We love you to and we both need you here physically and mentally.”

“I know, baby, I know.”, he whispered as he kissed your forehead down to the bruise on your cheek. “This kills me. This will never happen again and I don’t care what I have to do.”

“Honey, you’ve come so far in the last 6 years. Yeah this was bad but I understand. Like the therapist says, ‘Healing isn’t linear.’ We’re going to falter sometimes but as long as we keep trying… we got this, freak.”

At your lighthearted change in tone, he chuckles in his throat as he leans down to kiss your lips. 

“Yeah, princess, we got this. Can I make it up to you?”, he murmured as his mouth traveled along the skin of your face. “Can I make you feel good?”

You don’t answer him verbally, choosing instead to adjust your body so you’re straddling his waist as your hands cup his cheeks and you continue to kiss him. 

“Hm. I have…an idea…”, Eddie smiles between each peck of your lips, clinging to your lower back as he tilts to the bedside table and produces his handcuffs that you two hadn’t used since before your son was born. “Why don’t you punish me tonight, baby?”

Giggling, you take them from his grasp and restrain his wrists to the headboard. 

“If you get uncomfortable or anything, you’ll use our word?”

The two of you weren’t exactly rough with each other but because of what you had been through sometimes something would trigger either one of you to where someone would get a bit carried away or panic. You wanted there to be an out just in case and no matter what you would stop till the other felt more comfortable. 

“Yeah, sweetheart, I will.”

Continuing to kiss him, Eddie groaned into your mouth as his hips subtly grinded up into your own desperately seeking friction. Climbing off to the side, your eyes never left his as you slowly disrobed and he ran his tongue along his lips at the sight of your beautiful body. 

“Fuck, Y/N, you are so fucking gorgeous.”

As you smiled his way, your palms ran along his chest, grazing his scars that were beginning to fade as he grew older. You knew he was a bit self-conscious about them, choosing to wear a tank top in the pool or when he was out in the hot sun with friends. Chris never thought they were abnormal until visiting with your friends and Steve took off his shirt so you all could swim. 

“Hey, mommy. Uncle Steve look diff-er-ent.”, he announced as he pointed at the man’s chest. 

“Well, baby, that’s because—”

“Because your dad is a hero, dude.”, Steve grinned as he kneeled in front of the boy. “He helped save a lot of people including mommy but during the battle got hurt.”

“Wha you mean?!”

Your eyes narrow at the man as he panicked and looked your way. 

“You know how daddy likes to play his game with uncle Dustin? It was kind of like that. Daddy was a part of one of his own stories and got some ouches slaying a beast.”, you explain as your eyes widen playfully making him giggle loudly like his father. 

Over the years, he’s covered them with tattoos as well but because his wounds were so deep they were difficult to hide under all the ink. 

“And you are incredibly handsome.” Eddie smiles into your kisses, chasing your lips as you pull away. “You want to make me feel good?”

“Yes, baby, please.”

“You want to taste me? Make me cum with your tongue.”

“Fuck, yes, sweetheart. Use my face, pretty girl.”

Your husband didn’t even wait for you to be fully seated before his tongue was darting out to lick a stripe between your pussy lips. 

“Oh my God, Eddie.”

As your fingers pushed his hair back, you watched as his eyes closed and his mouth wrapped around your clit, sucking on the little bud with loud smacking sounds that followed. Your hips began to roll as he flattened his tongue, pressing his head as far into you as he could making you moan. 

“Oh…just like that, baby. Fuck.”

His head shook from side to side and he opened his eyes just in time to see your other hand massage your breast as your thumb caressed your nipple. To him you were goddess, practically perfect in every way he could think of. 

Eddie always asked himself how he got lucky enough to find a woman like you. He fell in love with you the first moment he laid eyes on you and he knew then he would do whatever he could to make you happy. 

“Cum, princess. Cum all over my face.”, he begged and in return you rocked your hips harder until your body trembled and you obliged his request. 

His tongue didn’t stop moving till you slowly slid down his chest and your lips were on his again. 

“Fuck, you are so good at that.” Your husband’s breath filled laugh made you smile as you placed tender kisses along his chest. After removing his sweats and boxers, you straddled his waist and he moaned as you ground your dripping pussy along his shaft. “Are you ready for me, baby?”

“I’m always ready for you, honey. Fuck.”

Beaming down at him, you tilt your forehead against his own as you reach between your bodies and guide his cock inside your core. 

“Fuck, Eddie.”

“That’s it, Y/N. Ahhhh—say my name just like that. Take what’s yours, sweetheart.”

As you grind your hips, his mouth falls open in a silent moan as he feels your cunt clench around him. Biting your bottom lip to stifle the groans that want to break free, you lean your body back, bracing your hands on his thighs as you roll your waist at a hastened rhythm, feeling the head of his length repeatedly hit that sensitive spot inside you. 

“Jesus, baby, you are so fucking beautiful.”

“Eddie…I’m…”

“Yeah? You’re gonna cum, pretty girl?” Planting his feet into the mattress, he thrust upward causing you to tumble forward and brace yourself on his chest. “Keep going, Y/N. Fuck—I can h-help you.”

“Will you cum with me? Together?”

As your words pant out from your lips, he wishes he could touch your face but when he tries he’s pulled back by the cuffs holding him in place. 

“Yeah, sweetheart. I’ll cum with you… you and me, baby. We can handle anything—mmph—together.”

After nodding, your head hangs as you bounce on top of him, meeting each push of his hips with an equally hard slap of your own. As your body shakes and the coil snaps, you bury your face into his neck to muffle your loud moans of ecstasy and your pussy quivers around his cock, milking him as he paints your walls with his release. 

The sound of metal clanking wood echoes loudly over the beautiful noise of his breath in your ear and you blindly reach up to free Eddie from his restraints. 

As soon as one cuff pops off, he brings his arms down to wrap tightly around you as he pets your head. 

“Are you ok?”, you whisper.

“Yeah, just in love with the most perfect woman.”

After rolling you onto your side, Eddie quickly runs to the bathroom to find something to clean you with before helping you into one of his shirts as he slides on his boxers with a pair of shorts. His fingers run along your skin, lingering on the bruise near your cheek. 

“I don’t think I’m ever going to forgive myself for this.”

“I wish you would because I do.”

“I know but…”

“No buts, freak.”, you smile as he laughs. 

“So mean, princess.”

“DADDY!”

At the sound of his son, the metalhead doesn’t waste a second as he heads to the boy’s room and after a couple of minutes reappears with him in hand. 

“Someone had a nightmare, mommy.”

“Oh no, honey. Do you want to talk about?” Shaking his head, he immediately crawls into your arms as soon as your husband places him on the bed. “It’s ok, my love. We’re right here and we’re not going to let anything bad happen to you.”, you coo as you run your fingers through the little boy’s curls. 

“You’re safe with us, kiddo.”, Eddie adds as he climbs back into the bed and places his arm on your hip. “We’re always going to be there whenever you need us.”

The hand that had been comforting your son reached out to caress the face and he kissed your thumb as it ran along his lips making you softly smile as your eyes began close. 

That night Eddie didn’t have another nightmare and when he woke up you two were the first things he saw. Pulling you both closer to him, he silently thanked the universe for giving him his little family that he loved so much. 

##############

@emma77645 @bohemianrhapsody86 @micheledawn1975

@captainonaboat @utterlyinsanity @nailbatanddungeon

[blissxjj]

HeartSteel!Kayn X Reader

This is a story about you and Kayn, you have dated for three years back when he was in the order later you two moved away, but things changed when Kayn left you for a career! He joined a band and you never saw him again after that you moved on with your life and lived there alone but your paths crossed one more time as faith wanted you to be together.

SFW /Angst

You woke up at 5 in the morning and took a quick shower before heading out, it's been two years since you and Kayn broke up and you managed to find other ways to cheer yourself up believe it or not that was to cook and bake sweet things like pies and cookies, you were currently on your way to the market place as you held a basket in your hand you had this habit of picking up flower because you loved making bouquets and scatter them around your house in beautiful vases, after all Ionia was very unique when it came to nature!

Few minutes of walking and picking came to an end as you finally reached your destination, the market place was full! More than usual actually so many people and so many things

You started picking necessary ingredients and then you made your way around and looked at all the new things they sell things like decorations, furniture and vases!

You looked around until you noticed a beautiful necklace on one of the many tables as you made your way to the stall bumping onto people and people bumping into you

'Wow!' You couldn't help but admire it

"This is a very rare piece it's a magical stone that will unit you with your soulmate" the seller spoke

You looked up at him then back down at the necklace, of course you didn't believe that the necklace was capable of such thing but it was beautiful and definitely worth buying!

"How much?"

*Time pass*

You walked back in the market place with the necklace dangling from your neck, it was a beautiful Amber color that mached your clothes, you couldn't help but wonder if it truly will unit you with someone that will actually love you and not break your heart

You noticed in front of you another stall with beautiful bouquets of flower better than the ones you make, as you kept looking at the stall and not paying attention to what's in front of you you collided with someone

You were pushed back and quick to apologize

"Watch where you are going" a very harsh and deep voice said to you

You look up ready to bite back but you found yourself looking at the man instead of defending yourself

He was tall and...handsome? He had a pink/magenta and purple hair he wore a crop top that revealed his great abs and he was wearing a black eye patch with a very punky style

"I...am so sorry i was looking at the flowers and didn't notice you forgive me" and you walked away beside him fast, as you passed him you felt his gaze on your skin and you walked away not wanting to see the flowers anymore

You walk back home and immediately go to the kitchen to start cooking something, after about an hour your pie was ready you put it at the window so it can cool down faster as you made some flower crowns to pass time

You couldn't help your mind but to drift to the image of the guy from the market he looked like a celebrity and he definitely was not from the village maybe a passer-by or...whatever

It's not like you care, you are done with relationships that are made of glass and you didn't want another man in your life you had to be wise and choose the right one for you this time you are not falling for a random man you saw for one minute in the market place that is not happening

It's definitely the necklace's effect it wants me to fall for som-

"OMG MY NECKLACE!!??" You screamed as you noticed the necklace was nowhere to be seen you ran outside to the same path you walked to try and find the necklace again

You looked for so long and still no use, it was getting dark and it was hard to see properly

"Damn it! It was expensive and i couldn't even get used to it before it got lost"

You say to yourself out loud

"This necklace?" A familiar voice said

You turn around and see the same guy from the market as you made eye contact with him your head was quick to drop down because of your shy nature that prevented you from making eye contact with anyone for too long

As you walk closer to him you say looking at your necklace in his hand rather than his face

"Thank you i was looking for it, where did you find it?"

"It fell when you bumped into me earlier, you left before i could give it to you" he said extending his hand out to you

You grab it and tried to leave but the stranger grabbed your wrist, you turn around and look at him in the eyes, for a second, you felt like you recognized him

"Let me go" you said in a slightly warning voice

He looked disappointed for a second before his poker face was on again

"I am new here and i don't have anywhere to stay could i please stay with you?" His question made you uncomfortable...so uncomfortable that you just said 'No' and walked away

He stood there looking at you as you left back to your home suddenly you stop and look back at him

It was awkward and weird the staring contest was done the moment you muttered a quite 'Kayn?'

His mouth gave a faint smile and he took off his eye patch and you immediately recognized Rhaast's eye it was definitely Kayn

And suddenly a million question came to your head but none came out as your mouth felt paralyzed and your eyes started to water

You turn around on your heel and walked away crying

Kayn was not surprised from your reaction and followed behind you trying to explain himself

"Please listen to me i know what i did was wrong but please..."

He followed you all the way back

You slam your house door in his face and he could still hear your faint cries that made his heart ache

"Y/n please open the door i just wanna explain myself"

"..."

"Honey please i really need to-"

"DO NOT F****** CALL ME HONEY!!" You screamed at him as you opened the door

Kayn was quite and he held shame in his face and said

"Please can you just listen to me"

"You have three seconds" you said

"Ok so i-"

"Time is up" you slam the door again

Next thing you know your front door was swung open and there it was Kayn or should i say Rhaast all out

"You are one ****** spoiled brat Kayn wants to speak to you and apologize for what he has done and you slam the door!" Rhaast roared in your face

"Well i don't want to speak to him" you screamed back

"I am surprised you are not scared of me" he said amused

"I am scared of you..." you said still trying to keep up the tough act

"Why? didn't i promise you to never hurt you if i ever took over Kayn?" He said

"The same way Kayn promised to never hurt me and look where we are now" you said

"Listen to him y/n and if his explanation is not what you wanted then we will leave" he said and immediately switched back to Kayn who fell on his knees due to exhaustion picking himself up panting for air

You stood there visibly angry at him crossing your arms

He straightened himself and started

"I am so sorry for hurting you and i know you won't forgive me for it but i was stupid i still am, i never really knew how much you effected my life until we separated, i chased a stupid band that actually ended up abandoning me and i was alone for a long time before i was invited to my now new band, and even with all the fame i had and the love from the fans it never filled the empty space in my heart all those people supporting me and they didn't compare to what you used to make me feel, you made me what i am right now...i have my own issues and problems but despite all that you still loved all of me and excepted Rhaast as a part of me, i am not trying to make excuses for what i did but simply admit my fault and hope you could find it in your heart to fogive me...please i have changed...to the better"

All this time you stood there looking at him wide eyed and he looked back at you with a hopefull almost pleading expression

You turn your back to him thinking hard of what he said

You loved Kayn and you still do, he was your first love, first kiss, and first...you know

You look back at him and said

"Why?"

"Because i love you and i want us-

"NO!" You said harshly then continued after a short time "why did you cut your hair?"

Kayn was shocked he didn't know how to answer that

You walk up to him and circled him looking him up and down and said

"That's a glow down i would say"

Kayn just stayed quite and looked at the floor sad

"HAHAHAHA" You couldn't hold in your laugh anymore "i am just messing with you"

"You scared me i thought you didn't like my new look" he said frustrated

"Of course i do as long as...it's you" you said getting closer to him with your hands fiddling due to nervousness

"So does that mean you accepted my apology?" He asked getting a little nervous himself he opened his arms for you and as you hug him putting your head under his chin you said

"Not really but you have convinced me that you actually regret what you did"

"You are really confusing sometimes you know that" he said

You giggle hugging him closer then letting go to look in his eyes

"I have one request though" you said

"Anything" he said

"Can you fix the door Rhaast broke earlier?" You said

Kayn looked back at it and chuckled, "whatever you want but i need something in return" you nodded at him "i need some of your cooking it smells delicious in here"

"Sure if you give me a kiss" you said

Kayn turned all kind of shades out there before he kissed you on your cheek

You look at him rather confused before he says "i will work my way back to your heart till i earn that kiss for now a peck on the cheek will do"

You smile at him saying

"I am in love again already"

*Muwah*

Bonus

You sat on Kayn's lap under a tree as you make more flower crowns

"Y/n i think that's enough crowns" Kayn said with 12 flower crowns on his head each with different kind of flowers than the other

"But i still have five more-" he cut you off "FIVE!? No way that's too many flowers"

You finished another crown and Kayn stood up to leave after getting you off his lap he stretched then looked back at you before he saw you standing there with pleading eyes

"Ughhhh fine one more crown"

Masterlist

[goodnightjar]

230903 #SF9 #JAEYOON fc

🐣:일병 4호봉입니다

are you having a good weekend!!!!!!!!

fantasy!!!!!!!!!!!!!;;;

i came to say hello before i give my phone!!!

🐣:1

🐣:2

🐣:3

🐣:4

🐣:5

🐣: i guess fantasy is busy

🐣: i ate well!!

🐣: did you eat fantasy??

🐣: these days the temp diff is really big fantasy

🐣: as i wake up early in the morning now

🐣: be careful of cold!!!

🐣: my fellow soldiers also caught cold & are having a hard timeㅠㅠ

🐣: fantasy shouldn't catch a cold got it??

🐣: now on i'll never catch a cold ><

🐣: as at the early phase every thing hurts

🐣: now i'm totally captian korea!!!

🐣: inseong hyung youngbin hyung is now (soon) civilian

🐣: i'm PFC5(soon)

🐣: anw

🐣: fantasy

🐣: has it been 2 years

🐣: since we met at Olympic Hall

🐣: what to do

🐣: at imperfect there was no way to express other than clapper

🐣: this time go all in.

🐣: my TMI

🐣: i'm gonna tell you

🐣: today i drank caramel macchiato

🐣: and ate 눈을감자 (brand)

🐣: after a while I did some personal vocal practice

🐣: listened to songs

🐣: and enjoyed some sunshine

🐣: i also danced this morning

🐣: 재융시❤️

🐣: 재윤시❤️

🐣: but even if i just felt the sunlight

🐣: what's the point of being in the sun; when my flowers are here!!

🐣: the reason im typing fast now is

🐣: instead of focusing a lot on fantasy comments ...ㅎㅎ i'm slightly focusing more on my typing

🐣: it will be quick....ㅎㅎ sorry ...!

🐣: i'll see through it all later on

🐣: i promise

🐣: in the future

🐣: when we meet again

🐣: lets hold hands tightly

🐣: got it?

🐣: by the way i wonder how will the fancon be organised this time

🐣: im curious...ㅎㅎㅎ(cutely)

🐣: when I see the group chat it looks like evryone is so busy

🐣: definitely gonna be fun

🐣: first of all face is joy right ㅎㅎㅎ

🐣: and i

🐣: whenever i turn on the washing machine

🐣: i just wash it in washing machine & dry it naturally you know?!

🐣: but recently I used dryer once & it was a whole new world

🐣: dryer is really cool (꿀)

🐣: should I buy one for the dorm?

🐣: later when I go vacation i'll tell you

🐣: fantasy after the daseulgi (festival)...

🐣: my skin color is not coming back

🐣: it's normal here

🐣: as it can't be helped in military

🐣: just in case; don't be suprised...

🐣: im also human... gets tanned ㅠㅠ

🐣: i'll try to change it back during winter >< (cutely)

🐣: oh right ㅎㅎ

🐣: guys i

🐣: have a lot of juniors now ...ㅎㅎㅎ

🐣: time passed by & juniors came

🐣: PFC lee jaeyoon nim (이재윤 일병님)

🐣: can you help me with how this is done (formal)

🐣: if asks so

🐣: i immediately feel like PFC lee jaeyoon

🐣: and fantasy a suprise news!

🐣: shall i tell you?

🐣: In 17 days there will be exactly one year left until I am discharged!!!

🐣: ain't it amazing!!

🐣: its the driving force behind me ...ㅎㅎ

🐣: by winter i will be corporal

🐣: 하하 이거참

🐣: we're there we're almost there!

🐣: (상병 이재윤) corporal lee jaeyoon sounds kinda cool right????!

🐣:ㅎㅎㅎ just imagining it

🐣: so good

🐣: when I became a corporal

🐣: i will tell you how it feels different from being a prt first class

🐣: oh and tomorrow it's Monday

🐣: don't be too sulky

🐣: okay?

🐣: lets cheer ourselves up together

🐣: & there is Chuseok holiday this month!!!

🐣: for tomorrow's #Yooniquest

🐣: make sure to have samgyeopsal

🐣: have samgyeopsal and

🐣: have one cherry coke ><

🐣: i want to add a chunk of my cheeks in the cherry coke but

🐣: it's impossible

🐣: so just imagine it^

🐣: fantasy

🐣: i am going to go clean up now

🐣: even if it was for a short time

🐣: seeing your real time comments

🐣: gave me strength!!!

🐣: Bye!!!

🐣: ❤️

[british-dsire]

Elevate Your Look: How Beauty Goddess Cosmetics Give You an Edge in Fashion and Beauty

In this fast and dynamic industry, where trends and styles quickly shift, being able to stand out requires the best equipment for makeup application. British D’sire, Beauty Goddess cosmetics cosmetics come with incredible end product that is as beautiful as the ladies it is marketed to target hence perfect blend of quality ingredients with unique product formulations to give you that stunning look. Beauty Goddess is perfect for an evening out event, but if prefer to glow on daily basis, they have you covered as well.

Adding Up the Star Factor: Beauty Goddess Cosmetics

1. High-Quality Ingredients:

It’s a well-known brand of cosmetics with the Beauty Goddess cosmetics as their preferred brand with superior quality ingredients that fits all skin types and colors. Every product comes with its distinct formula and offers wear that lasts for a long-time and performance like no other. For instance, their foundations can be accredited with full coverage that does not weigh down the skin so the skin is able to breathe and the skin also does not shine.

2. Versatility and Range:

Whether you want the latest lippies, sleek foundations or the most advanced mascaras, Beauty Goddess has all your basis covered. They are an extended series of their products that can construct from a casual natural day appearance to an elaborate evening look. The elemnts of pattern are considered since Beauty Goddess make up products can produce various effects with only a few products in the cosmetic kit.

3. Skin-Friendly Formulations:

To avoid skin complications, Beauty Goddess attaches great importance to skin health and guarantees that its products do not contain aggressive chemicals and are not contraindicated for patients with sensitive skin. This dedication to gentle formulations means that makeup wearer will be able to use the quality products without having to either develop rashes or have to deal with acne issues. Why British D’sire has the Best Retail Store for Beauty Goddess

Shopping for Beauty Goddess cosmetics at British D'sire comes with numerous advantages that make it the ideal destination for all your beauty needs:Shopping for Beauty Goddess cosmetics at British D'sire comes with numerous advantages that make it the ideal destination for all your beauty needs:

1. Authenticity and Quality Assurance:

British D’sire assure the customers that the product is authentic to the extent of 100%, hence customers gets value for their money in terms of quality and performance of Beauty Goddess’s product. Besides, all products sold here do not contain any element of fake products making it easy for you to shop without any worry.

2. Exclusive Deals and Discounts:

British D’sire occasionally offers promotions such as Best Value Beauty Goddess Packages from which D’sire subscribers and customers might benefit from. Whether it is during Christmas, back to school, or the time of promoting a particular new product, a girl can easily get her hands on her coveted item all without paying through the nose.

3. Exceptional Customer Service:

One customer need that is given particular attention at British D’sire is the need for satisfaction. The friendly customer support staff is willing to offer any help you may need when choosing a dress, so transitioning from one size to another is an easy and enjoyable process.

4. Loyalty Programs:

British D’sire considers its customers as important and provides a point’s reward program to make a purchase. For anyone who would like to be associated with the Beauty Goddess line of cosmetics and perfumes, it is even more encouraging to know that their investment can earn them points and equivalent rebates for subsequent purchases.

5. Detailed Product Descriptions and Reviews:

Being the professional in the provided field, British D’sire is always eager to help its customers make the right choice; that is why detailed information on the products, as well as the opinions of those who have already bought them, is available on the website. This way, they assure the potential buyer that he or she knows what to expect from a certain product and makes choosing the one that meets his or her expectations easier.

Statistics to Consider

In a study conducted early current year, it was got the global cosmetics market is poised to be at $ 463. Approximately US$ 5 billion by the end of the year 2027 at the Compound Annual Growth Rate of 5%. 3%, in the same time period between 2020 and 2027. This growth is as a result of people becoming more attentive to their appearance especially regarding skin products meaning Beauty Goddess is right to choose quality brands for their product.

Moreover, according to another SkinStore’s survey it was established that an average person spends approximately the sum of $300,000 for face products in a lifetime. Thus, the decision on which products to choose should include quality and value for the amount of money invested just like the products offered at the beauty shop ‘Beauty Goddess’ at British D’sire.

Thus, it will be appropriate to conclude that Beauty Goddess cosmetics include the accessories that excite, inspire, and complement in quality, richness of shades, and skin-friendliness to break through the world of fashion and beauty as a bright leader. There are several benefits when you decide to purchase products from British D’sire as they offer original products, special offers, and excellent customer service as well as give many opportunities for the clients in their loyalty program. So why wait? Shop for Beauty Goddess cosmetics and experience the British D’sire of beautiful skin and soul that helps transform you into a beauty goddess for life.

To undergo the tried and tested experience of obtaining the Beauty Goddess look visit British D’sire today and avail the complete range of products. Visit our website to know more and shop now - https://www.britishdsire.com/ 

[diannedazzlesskinbeautydelights]

The Perfect At-Home Manicure: Gel Nails Extensions 

Do your nails ever look dull, short, or just simply unkempt? Having beautiful, polished gel nails extensions can make all the difference in finishing off a put-together look. While visiting the salon for manicures and pedicure produces fabulous results, it can get pricey fast. Luckily, with a bit of practice, you can give yourself a salon-worthy mani-pedi right from the comfort of your home. Read on to learn all about at-home gel manicures, pedicure best practices, and how to apply acrylic nails.

Gel Nails extensions at Home

Gel manicures have become popular in recent years due to their ultra-glossy finish and long-lasting wear. The gel polish is cured under an LED or UV nail lamp, allowing it to harden on the nail rather than air dry. This gives the color serious staying power—oftentimes 14 days or longer before any chips appear.

The best at-home gel manicure kits contain everything you need to achieve a flawless, chip-free gel mani, including:

Gel polish in various colors

Nail primer

Base and top coat

LED lamp

Manicure tools

Before applying gel polish, start by filing and buffing your nails into the desired shape. Push back and trim any overgrown cuticles with a cuticle pusher and nail clipper. Then, thoroughly wash your hands with soap and water and allow the nails to dry completely. Swipe on the nail primer, allowing it to dry. This helps the gel polish adhere properly.

Paint on a thin layer of gel base coat, cure in the lamp per package directions, and follow with two thin coats of gel color, curing in between each layer. Finish with a gel top coat to make the manicure extra glossy and hard-wearing. Cure one final time. The entire process takes 30-40 minutes.

With the right prep and products, you can achieve stunning, salon-grade gel nails from the comfort of your home. They will withstand everyday activities and look freshly manicured for weeks.

Pampering Pedicures at Home

Caring for your feet is just as important as your manicure when it comes to overall beauty maintenance. Professional pedicure services groom feet and toenails, removing dead skin and massaging in hydration. The results are sandal-ready feet that feel soft and renewed.

Recreate the pedicure experience at home with this simple routine:

Soak feet in warm water mixed with Epsom salts, coconut oil, or essential oils for 10-15 minutes to soften skin and cuticles. Rub any particularly rough areas with a pumice stone. Rinse feet and pat dry with a clean towel.

Use cuticle clippers to trim overgrown cuticles, then gently push them back with an orangewood stick. File toenails into the desired shape using a crystal nail file. Buff nails to smooth ridges if necessary.

Give yourself a foot massage by applying moisturizing lotion or foot cream and kneading pressure points with your fingers or knuckles. This stimulates circulation. Slip on a pair of cotton socks and allow products to absorb for 5-10 minutes.

Paint nails in your polish shade of choice. Use a concealer brush dipped in acetone around the edges for extra precision for a salon-style finish.

Indulge your feet in this soothing spa-like treatment once a week or whenever they need a little TLC. Consistent at-home pedicures will keep feet looking and feeling soft, healthy, and beautiful.

DIY Acrylic Nails near me Application

Acrylic nails are valued for their natural-looking length and flexibility. Typically applied by professionals, you can also learn to apply acrylic nails safely at home with some patience and practice. Here is a step-by-step overview:

Start by thoroughly washing your hands to remove dirt, oil, and moisturizer residue. Trim natural nails short and file into the desired shape. Then, push back the cuticles with a cuticle pusher. This is important so the acrylic can adhere directly to the natural nail plate.

Apply nail dehydrator and primer. These act like glue, allowing acrylic powder and liquid to bond properly to the natural nail. Have all supplies nearby and workable: acrylic powder, liquid monomer, an application brush, and tips if using.

Please select the right nail tip size and use adhesive to secure them to the end of each natural nail. They should fit perfectly to each nail, never overlapping the edges. If not using tips, proceed to the next step.

Use the application brush to pick up a small, wet bead of powder and liquid monomer. Carefully press it onto the nail, brushing back and forth to create an even surface and seamless edge against the cuticles and sidewalls. Repeat this process until the desired thickness and extension length are built.

Shape and refine the acrylic nails using gentle filing motions. Avoid filing too aggressively at the stress area to prevent cracking, which occurs within the natural nail and acrylic overlay. Finish by buffing for a natural glow.

It takes time to perfect acrylic application. Starting with just a few nails helps develop technique. With regular practice, you can successfully do a full set from home. Be sure to infill growth and soak off/reapply every 2-3 weeks to prevent lifting and maintain healthy nails.

Treat Yourself Salon visits undoubtedly pamper and beautify, but they aren’t always practical or affordable. With the right guidance, tricks, and tools, you can indulge in professional-looking gel manicures, pedicures, and acrylic nails from the comfort of your home. Pay attention to key tips that promote safe, healthy nail care practices, too. Go ahead and treat yourself!

[envieextensions]

Hand-Tied Extensions in Contrast to Tape-Ins for Stylists: What One Should Choose?

When choosing a semi-permanent method of hair extensions, one always has a dilemma of which to get. Both methods give instant solutions to issues related to length, volume, or strength. One must be aware of the consequences related to scalp health as it is not a one-type-fits-all kind of procedure. Hand-tied extensions are more discreet, safer, and a comfortable choice for most people. 

What are Hand-Tied Hair Extensions?

It is a method for sewing slim light wefts onto a string of beads attached to the natural hair. It is the best extension technique for adding volume and strength to the hair while preventing damage to the hair. They feel completely natural and light and can be easily colored, washed, curled, and styled. These are most favored by the stylists due to their comfort, flexibility, and seamless finish to the hair. Their longevity depends on the growth of your hair. Once the string of beads moves down due to natural hair growth, it needs to be moved. The general lifespan is 6 to 8 weeks. 

What are Tape-In Extensions?

Tape-in extensions are pre-taped wefts attached directly to the hair with a medical-grade adhesive. They are quick and inexpensive with a span of 5-8 weeks and can also cause damage to the natural hair. 

Removal of the tape also requires professional assistance as the glue can damage the natural hair. The adhesive of the glue can remain in the hair for several weeks. 

How do Hand-Tied Extensions Work?

Hand-tied hair extensions are the best option for hair extensions for salon use. They are gentle and hair-friendly methods for adding tons of volume, strength, and length to the hair. A horseshoe-shaped row of beads is attached to the hair and the wefts are sewn to this beaded foundation. The number of strings applied ranges from 1 to 4, based on the client’s need and hair type. 

How do Tape-In Extensions Work?

Tape-in extensions use a strong adhesive to stick the wefts to the natural hair. For application, the stylist removes the backing from the tape and places sections of natural hair between the two strips thus sandwiching them. 

Hand-Tied Extensions Pros and Cons

Hand-tied extensions are the best option due to their natural appearance, wearability, and comfort. But everything comes with pros and cons, which are listed below:

Hand-Tied Extensions Pros

- charming volume, fulness, and length that seems natural.

- little stress on the scalp and roots.

- no tugging or damage to the natural hair.

- unlimited styling possibilities.

- discreet attachments that are not even visible in very thin hair.

- apt for any kind of lifestyle including swimming or high temperatures. 

Hand-Tied Hair Extensions Cons

- the initial investment of time and money is huge.

- extensions must be moved after every 6-8 weeks due to the natural hair growth.

- frequent brushing and maintenance are required to keep them looking natural.

- not the best choice for curly or super-coiled hair. 

Tape-In Extensions Pros and Cons

These are quick and cheap methods for semi-permanent hair extensions but they can be harsh to the natural hair. The pros and cons are listed below. 

Tape-In Hair Extensions Pros

- add length, volume, and thickness without a major commitment.

-  initial installation is fast, easy, and inexpensive.

- give a natural appearance as the tape lies flat on the scalp.

- highly customizable to different hair types and growth patterns.

Tape-In Extensions Cons

- removal is highly difficult and can cause natural hair loss.

- adhesives or chemical removers may aggravate scalp-related skin issues.

- frequent brushing and maintenance are required.

- the adhesive bonds should not be exposed to hair oils or heat treatments.

- provide less volume so they won’t give a mermaid look to your hair.

Conclusion

Hair extensions are a perfect solution for those who wish to add length, volume, or strength to their hair. There are many procedures available to get them but the hand-tied hair extension method has proved to be the most favorable one. Envie Hair Extensions provides a one-stop solution to your extension needs by being the best in the market for salon use. They are hair extension suppliers for the finest luxury hair look. Their hand-tied hair extensions are best suited for people who wish to keep them discreet and invisible. It adds perfectly to your look and makes you feel like owning the world. 

[tobysteele4]

How to Make a Beautiful Manicure at Home

Painting your own nails can be a rewarding, therapeutic experience. But there are a few things you need to know if you want to get that salon-quality look at home. Looking more info visit как сделать красивый маникюр.

To get the results you want, start with a clean slate and prep your nails before painting them. These simple steps will keep your at-home manicure looking great and preventing chips from occurring.

1. Start with a Clean Slate

Getting a manicure is a luxury, but it's also one of the easiest ways to pamper yourself at home. It can have therapeutic benefits, too.

If you're looking to make your next manicure a real success, start with a clean slate. You'll need a few key items to prep your nails before applying the polish.

First, wipe your hands down with nail polish remover or alcohol to get rid of any smudges. This helps prevent lumps that may ruin the foundation of your manicure.

2. Prep Your Nails

If you want your manicure to look and feel like a pro, it’s essential to prep your nails before you start painting them. That’s why it’s important to invest in a good nail polish remover and a quality cuticle pusher.

First, soak your hands in a bowl of warm water for about two minutes to soften and moisturize the skin around the cuticles. This will make it easier to push back the cuticles and clean up any excess polish.

Once the soak is complete, use a lint-free cotton pad to wipe off any traces of old polish from your hands. Do this for each of your nails to ensure they’re ultra clean.

3. Apply a Base Coat

Applying a base coat is the key to a flawless nail polish application. It creates a sticky layer that adheres to your nails, creating an adhesive for the nail polish.

It also prevents staining of your nails from darker colors. This happens when the dyes in the nail polish react with your natural nail.

Some base coats are even formulated to act as a primer, making them perfect for prepping your nails before painting with colored nail polish.

A good base coat helps smooth out ridges and fills in cracks, so your manicure looks professional and shiny. Some are also infused with ingredients that hydrate and strengthen your nails.

4. Paint Your Nails

Painting your nails is an excellent way to get a fresh, stylish look. It’s also easy to do at home and can be a lot cheaper than going to the salon.

But if you want to make your manicure at home a true success, you’ll need to know how to paint your nails correctly. Thankfully, experts have shared some tips and tricks for nail painting at home.

Start by gathering all of the supplies you’ll need. These include nail clippers, a nail file and clear nail polish.

Next, take your time and apply a thin coat of polish to your whole nail, starting from the cuticles up. Don’t worry about getting polish on the skin around your nails, as that can easily be wiped off with a cotton swab.

5. Finish with a Top Coat

A top coat is a must for a professional-looking manicure. It helps to protect color from chipping and flaking and can even extend your polish's wear.

Once you've applied several thin coats of your favorite nail polish, apply a clear top coat to seal the deal and add a final layer of shine. It's also a good idea to reapply cuticle oil on your nails and hands to keep them healthy.

For a quick-drying option, Seche Vite Dry Fast Top Coat is the perfect choice. It's long-lasting and dries to a high-gloss, crystal-clear finish that resists chipping.

[sailorhyunjinz]

𝕴𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖔𝖘𝖙 𝕾𝖔𝖚𝖑𝖘 𝐈

© 2021 SailorHyunjinz ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 

Pairing; Bartender!Changbin x Fem!reader (she/her pronouns)

Warning ; ANGST!! SMUT!! skz side characters, semi-slow burn, hurt/comfort, strangers to lovers, depiction of mental disorders, consumption of alcohol, under the influence, self hatred, complicated family relationships, depersonalisation/derealisation, depression, alternative universe, implications of su-cide, semi su-cide attempt, su-cidal!reader, mentions of bl-od and injury, mentions of k-dnapping and murder, alcoholism, mentions of selfh-rm, mentions of knifes, gaslighting, smoking, mentions of weapons, mentions of pregnancies, a bunch of crying, fainting, toxic masculinity. 

𝘕𝘚𝘍𝘞 ; piv, protected sex (use of condom), missionary, dry humping, nicknames, sex in semi-public place, fingering, corruption kink if you squint, orgasm (m/f), cum,,,, other then that it’s kinda vanilla. 

𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘊𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 ; 14.3 k 

O N E ｜ T W O 

From one survivor to another; cheers you guys. 

                         ⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ Playlist ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

[FEEL SOMETHING DIFFERENT - Bea Miller, Aminè]

[Multi-Love - Unknown Mortal Orchestra]

[Beach Baby - Bon Iver]

[High Enough - K.Flay]

[Dope Lovers - DPR IAN]

[Make Out in My Car ; Sufjan Stevens Version - Sufjan Stevens]

[I Feel it Coming ; The weekend, Daft Punk]

[Space Song ; Beach House] (ah the loml and the album is called depression cherry so it makes me happy) 

𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥.

𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘰𝘧 18.

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐈 ; 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐲

“Let me out!! LET ME OUT!”

You cry out, banging on the heavy wooden door until your knuckles bruise, red marks leaving their traces on your soft skin. The only lightsource is the tiny cell window, sun shining brightly and illuminating thousands of dust specks, floating around you like your lost hopes. The grey cement walls got closer and closer, seconds ticking in your head like a clock. 

This is it.

This is how you die. 

Crushed to death like a bug, your ambitions never getting their chance to prove themselves. All that you ever wanted to achieve was an impossibility as you were slowly but surely pressed together in the ever shrinking room. 

Salty tears roll down your cheek, a feeling of hopelessness washing over you as you turn your back against the door, sliding down to your feet, banging the back of your head lightly against the entrance.

You feel the rough walls hitting both sides of your forearms, a last ear deafening scream leaving your parted lips.

Until you woke up. 

With a series of jerking motions you sit up, panting like you just ran a marathon, the pounding of your heart audible to you. Darkness swallowed you as the night progressed, you considering yourself lucky to find yourself in your comfortable bed, still in your room. 

Only after minutes do you notice your wet cheeks, the tears not being limited to your dream world. You blink, your coated eyelashes weighing heavy on your eyelids as you wipe tears with the back of your hand. The shock from your dream didn’t reside, you now being too afraid to fall back on your plushy pillow, fearful of what horrible dreams awaited you on the other side. 

You grab your phone from the nightstand, immediately being hit with a bright light causing you to squint and turn away momentarily. 

[Search: being crushed dream meaning]

Multiple articles from all sorts of sketchy websites popped up, you clicking on the first one. 

“Stress or emotionally overwhelmed” 

You laugh lazily, the dream making sense as you feel yourself slipping back into a peaceful slumber, phone still in hand as the muscles in your face relax, jaw opening, your dream world once again inviting you for a dance. 

The sun woke you up with it’s radiant rays shining in your face, the closed blinds barely able to withstand them. Your phone was lying on the floor face down, you must have dropped it while sleeping you thought before rubbing your eyes from any dirt and staring up at the ceiling. 

Another day

Another day that I’m here.

You wish you could pull the covers over your head, get lost in your own mind and never deal with the outside world ever again. But you had to. 

You picked up your phone from the dusty floor that hadn’t been cleaned for weeks, you simply didn’t have the motivation to do it. The bright phone screen awaked you, you blinked your eyes a couple of times to see clearer. 

[3 Missed Calls - Mom]

You couldn’t be bothered to call her back. She was only gonna nag at you for not calling back earlier, wondering what you’ve been up to now that you’ve been fired from your job as a receptionist at the local hotel. What were you gonna say? Drinking too much booze and crying yourself to sleep every night? You couldn’t, that would only hurt her. 

Ignorance is bliss, as they say.

You got up, legs wobbling as you stumbled to the bathroom, head pounding from the amount of alcohol you consumed the night prior. Not with friends but alone, in your living room, in the one room apartment you no longer could afford. 

Ice cold water splashed onto your sweaty face, that being the only hygiene you could muster today. You turned the tap off, grabbing a towel and wiping your face and looking deep into your own eyes. 

That’s not me.

That’s not me looking back. 

You poked your tongue out, hoping the figure in the mirror wouldn’t move and you could confirm your thoughts but alas the figure followed you. You felt crazy, it was as if you’ve died a long time ago but still saw everything that happened. You could stick your hand through a wall and it would disappear you thought, nothing was real. Not even you. 

You entered your mess of a living room, seeing the wreck from yesterday night. Countless green glass bottles scattered on the table in front of the tv that was your only escape from reality. Blankets and pillows were thrown across the floor along with a box of tissues, your emotions bubbling up to the surface too often resulting in you crying and shaking on the floor, a feeling of fear washing over you late at night. 

You felt alone.

But you weren’t.

Fuck, why were you so ungrateful? You had everything. A roof over your head, a family that loves you, friends, food on the table. Yet, even this couldn’t satisfy you. You blamed yourself for everything. 

For your work firing you.

For your parents divorcing.

For your own pathetic life.

You shook your head as if you were shaking the negative thoughts out of your head, instead grabbing a couple of the empty bottles that were reeking with the scent of liquor and placing them on the kitchen counter. ‘Cleaning up’ in your eyes.

With a thump your back landed against the couch that swallowed you, engulfing you in a comforting embrace you got from no other person or object. This was your safe space you thought but not even your couch could save you from your intrusive reasonings. With a light click on the remote the tv screen lit up, your eyes still not used to the brightness since you’re always cooped up in your apartment where the blinds were always closed, another barrier between you and reality. 

Nature documentaries, your favorite.

The calming male voice of the narrator being the only one you talked to during your lonely days. The animals could make you forget. They lived so freely, moving wherever they wanted without a care in the world, either swimming, hopping or flying. You wish you were born as another animal than human. 

“The 52-hertz whale travels an astonishing 70 km a day but it’s voyage doesn’t bring social interactions. This whale is the loneliest whale in the world. It’s the only whale that is capable of emitting a whale call at such frequency, no other individuals communicating with the poor creature.”

You sat up in curiosity. It was a scream for help you thought. The whale needed help, it needed someone or something.

Just like you. 

You sighed, watching the lonely whale on your tv screen, seeing it’s gracious movements despite its size. It did look lonely in that deep dark sea, wondering how it would be to fall into the abyss of water, swallowing you whole and erasing the life that once sparked your soul. 

This was where you spent your entire days. The clock on the wall is ticking but the digits it displayed are oblivious to you. What did it matter if it was 5 pm or 1 am? You were still not gonna budge from your comforting seat on the couch. Drinking your feelings away no matter what time in the day. 

This was you. 

This was who you had become.

The sun started to set on the horizon, a delicate shade of light purple descending over it, covering the end of the world like the way a canopy covers the softness of a bed. You sigh, diverting your focus back on the tv screen after momentarily observing the life outside your window. Yet again, nature documentaries accompanied by the soft male voice, narrating every movement of the colibri that fluttered it’s wings at the speed of light on your screen in vivid colors. 

You got that look in your eyes. That look of amazement which you now only had when looking at the beautiful colors of a exotic bird. You moved closer to the tv screen in the now dark living room, the sun setting at a fast pace. It reminded you of the many times your mom shouted at you to not sit so close to the screen, scaring you by saying that you’d get rectangular eyes. 

Your childhood.

The only time you felt ease. 

The only time your family was as one. 

“y/n, what does your heart look like?” the therapist asked, scribbling mindlessly on a notepad.

“it’s a muscle that pumps blo-” you started but were quickly cut off. 

“no, I mean what does your heart look like, how does it feel?”

You sighed, looking down at the grey marbled floor, your legs shaking in nervousness. You hesitated before speaking, scrambling in your mind to say something sensible before the words came pouring out of you.

“i-it looks like a house. A dark, empty house,,, but it’s comforting.”

Once again you heard the sound of a pencil writing incoherent sentences. Curious as to know what secrets were on that piece of A5-paper.  

“is there anyone in the house with you?” the therapist inquired. 

You shook your head before speaking. 

“I don’t want to let anyone in, this is my safe space” you say, almost setting up an emotional barrier, not wanting to answer further questions. 

The person sitting across from you hummed as you stared out the window behind them, the green ivy bushes already grown tall enough to cover half of the grimy window. 

“is the house empty?” they asked to which you shook your head once again, avoiding the glassy-eyed stare of the therapist. 

“no,,, there are dusty furniture covered in white cloths and-,,, and family photos in the drawers.” 

“is it your family?” 

You shook your head in disagreement.

“How did you end up here?” 

You thought for a second, puffing out your cheeks, a habit of yours. You searched for a reason but not finding any. 

“I just,,, was here one day.”

“The sun never shines here.” you added after a solid 30 seconds of silence. 

You were stuck in that house.

The house that was once filled with happy memories of another family, you simply a ghost that was now trying to fit the broken pieces together, wanting desperately to see them smiling again. 

Tears started forming in your eyes, a shiny gloss over your orbs. 

But you never cried.

Not in front of others. 

You thought often about that visit. Why your heart was an desolate house and why the words spilled out of you like a poisonous liquid.

You closed your eyes, the bright colors fluttering behind your eyelids as the comforting sounds of the woods blasted from the tv. 

You wish you could be somewhere else. 

Anywhere but here. 

A single tear rolled down your cheek as a smile creeped up on your face, your butt against the floor as your knees were underneath your chin, your entire figure curled up into a small ball. 

You sighed as your eyes fluttered open again. You were still here, in your apartment that smelled like nothing but alcohol and disappointment. 

Firmly planting both your hands on the wooden floor you heaved yourself up with the intention of getting more tissues, the blue colored tissue box on the floor being as empty as others expectations of you. 

But as you stood up the entire room started spinning, small specks of rainbow flashing by your eyes. You thought you stood up to quickly grabbing onto the wall for a second before collapsing against it, your entire body shaking. You cried louder, thinking you were about to pass out. Your hair stuck to your tear stained cheek as your puffy eyes closed once again. 

What was happening?

The rain hit your unconscious body, your knees scraped from the concrete you lied on. You were soaked from head to toe, lying with your cheek against the ground in a puddle of rain. You woke up from your head pounding, your bloody knees only gaining your attention after you’ve looked around in a confused daze.

It was empty. An alleyway in the dark night. You found yourself panicked, anxiety bubbling inside of you. That’s when you saw it. A single street light above a red phone booth. You tried to stand up but fell over again as your legs could barely hold you up, now scraping your elbow against the gritty ground. 

Crying out, you started shouting for help. 

“HELP!! SOMEBODY HELP!” 

You screamed at the top of your lungs, voice cracking as your tears started to look identical to the rain that was pouring over your cold, helpless body. Nobody came, your voice only echoing against the wall that the phone booth stood near to. 

You got on all fours, crawling towards the light as pure pain shot through your body, small pebbles jabbing into the open wounds on your knees. You needed shield from the rain. Desperate huffs and groans escaping your parted lips as you dragged yourself through small puddles, the phonebooth seemingly getting further and further away from you. Looking through the soaked curtains that was your hair you were determined, this was life or death you thought as you continued to shout out for help, it appeared to be useless since the only other sound besides your own voice was the rain hitting the ground. 

Shivering hands grabbed onto the corner of the crimson red phonebooth, the streetlight illuminating your teary eyes. You held onto that frigid and wet piece of metal as if you were holding onto a treasure. 

As if you won a race.

As if you pleased your parents.

You looked up, dragging the inner side of your leg against the concrete, your pyjama pants wet to the bone. Desperately you got yourself together, your arms shaking as the rough pads of your hands met the ground, pushing yourself up into a standing position. You hissed at the pain in your knees as you grabbed onto the metal handle that opened the phonebooth, stepping inside.

The inside was surprisingly warm, as if someone had been there moments prior. A ripped piece of paper was taped on the glass pane to the right of the payphone, something that seemed like a phone number but could impossibly be since it wasn’t a full number. 

[1800-xxx]

You looked at the payphone and then back at the washed out paper, the edges of the note curling and stained with yellow. Only when you looked back at the phone again did you notice the keypad. To your surprise there was an “x” button. Your head felt heavy, deciding to lean it against the other side of the stuffy phone booth, your hot breath creating steam on the glass.

You wanted to wake up from this nightmare. 

Your entire body ached, let alone the blood that was dripping down your leg. The rusty payphone connected to the actual phone, a black handle connected to the underside of the machinery by a coiled metal rope. You picked up the phone, putting it against your ear and groaned when you remembered that you needed coins in order for the payphone to work

[0.5 gold/minute] 

You rubbed your eyes. Gold? You sighed loudly, your knees barely being able to hold your weary body any longer. Hesitant fingers pressed the number that was jot down on the lined note, pressing each key accordingly. You pressed the last x before you pressed the “call” button, not expecting anything to happen. 

But after a few seconds a female automated voice spoke to you. 

“Thank you for calling. This place only appears to the suffering. If you are receiving this call, congratulations! Your prayers have been answered. Drink the liquid in the paper cup above this payphone. Drink the liquid. Drink the liquid. Drink the liquid.”

The voice lagged, a static sound accompanying the automated voice. Your breath got shaky as you looked around, holding the phone close to your ear with both hands. This could only be some sort of kidnapping scheme or this was a sick dream. 

“It’s a dream, y/n. Calm down, nothing's gonna hurt you.”

You muttered to yourself, pinching your forearm tightly and wincing from pain. This wasn’t a dream after all. 

Your gaze landed on the brown paper cup that was balancing delicately on top of the payphone, your cracking knuckles reaching for it as you let the phone fall out of your grasp, being caught mere inches from the sticky floor of the photobooth by the coil. Bringing the cup closer to your face you saw a dark viscous liquid that smelled sweet enough to sting your nose. Your face contorted into disgust, debating on whether not to drink the contents of the paper cup. 

“Drink the liquid. Drink the liquid. Drink the liquid.”

The voice continued ringing in your ears. You had nothing to lose. If you died then you at least got what you wanted. Holding your breath, you brought the cup closer to your quivering lips, parting them slightly as you held your nose tightly, not wanting to feel whatever horrible taste could be found in that dark pit of goo. 

It burned the moment it hit the delicate taste buds on your tongue, your voice muffled as the fluid descended down your throat, your larynx bobbing up and down with each gulp. Despite covering your nose you could taste the pungent sweetness, it tasted like pure acid. Not that you knew what that tasted like but what you assumed it would. 

You coughed, accidentally spilling some of the goo on the floor, dribbling out of your mouth. The heavy rain pitter-pattered against the metal roof above your head, your eyelids threatening to shut. The cup fell out of your hand as you slammed your forehead against the payphone, not hard enough to bleed but hard enough to bruise. Your jawbone hurt from how much you’d been crying, eyes puffy as the salty tears mixed with the rain droplets on your face.

“i-i’m sorry mom, i’m so fucking sorry.”

You rolled your forehead left to right against the rusty material of the payphone, your soaked hair covering your empty eyes. Your knees bent under you causing you to fall on your butt with your knees clinking against each other, the sticky contents on the floor sticking to the soft fabric of your pants. 

“I’M SO SORRY!”

You never thought a scream this loud could protrude its way out of your throat, the vibrations bouncing off the glass that to your surprise didn’t break. Everything started to become shades darker, almost as if a black and white filter settled over your vision. 

No, this is how you’re gonna die.

Alone.

In the rain. 

“Hyung, what are you gonna do with her?”

Muffled club music struck your ear along with a high pitched ringing, your eyelids felt as heavy as they’d been in the phonebooth. With your head pounding you slowly open your eyes, first not seeing anything but darkness before eight unknown men form a circle around you, hovering above you. 

You shoot up from your lying position, fear overtaking your body. Where were you but more importantly why the fuck were you alone in a dark room with 8 young men? Not thinking straight, you decided to scream once again, thinking they would back off and let you be.

“Get away from me!!”

The males covered their ears, groaning in pain and a blonde boy throwing himself on the floor, rolling around. 

“HEY!! HEY! WE’RE NOT GONNA HURT YOU!”

A strong voice overpowered yours, every word almost sounding like a grunt. You around, seeing that you were sitting on a soft leather couch before looking up at the male that was standing right infront of you. He was muscular, his biceps sitting snugly in the tight black t-shirt that covered him, a grey apron tied around his waist and his dark hair shielding his intense gaze and furrowed eyebrows. He had a jaw so sharp you could cut silence with it but silence was the last thing this room had. The boys were shouting at each other, trying to hush the others while screaming themselves. 

“SHUT UP!!”

The room got quiet as the muscular guy roared, the seven other individuals coming to a halt. You looked at them all with a puzzled expression, all of them handsome, a fact you couldn’t deny. 

“Where the fuck am I, who are you guys and p-please don’t kill me”

Your voice cracked at the end of your sentence as your eyes twinkled, tears teasing the corners of your eyes, fingers shaking in fear. The male closest to you sat down, the weight of the couch shifting. He rubbed his hand together before he started speaking in a calmer voice.

“I’m Changbin, bartender of the Lost Souls nightclub. That’s Chan, security guard.”

With his chin, he pointed at a guy in ripped black jeans with a white t-shirt, a sweatband across his forehead, pushing his slightly curly hair back. He didn’t look like a security guard, the only thing that might have pointed to that was the walkie-talkie hanging from his belt. You nodded before Changbin continued.

“And those are some friends, frequent visitors if you will.”

A light haired boy with shiny rhinestones under his eyes stepped forward after he’d been hugging the tallest guy in the room the entire time. 

“u-uhm, the name’s Felix! This is Hyunjin, Seungmin, Jeongin, Jisung and Minho, and yeah those two, Chan and Changbin.”

He pointed at each guy respectively and the room filled with small “hi’s” and smiles. They didn’t look threatening, all of them being very timid and looking down at the ground. Your gaze diverted back to Changbin that was staring at you the entire time.

“Can somebody tell me where I am?”

Changbin cleared his throat, stomping his boot a couple of times. 

“This is gonna sound,,, interesting but you have to believe me-”

You interrupted the muscular boy, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear, noticing that it had dried. 

“Why should I believe you? We’ve just met?”

Changbin sighed. 

“Just,,, hear me out”. You nodded before he continued.

“You answered a phone call right?”

Nodding once again your gaze drifted towards the other boys that were looking at Changbin with googly eyes.

“Well,,, this place only appears to those who are,,, struggling with themselves. Obviously you don’t have to tell us why you’re here but,,, this is a place to let go. The only rule here is no fighting”

“Or dancing on the tables” the tall blonde boy added with a snark causing a squirrel-like boy to giggle, playfully hitting the blonde before looking at Chan who glared back at him, the boy being flustered and turning serious again. Jisung, his name was. 

“W-what did that phonebooth do,,, does everyone go through that?” you asked with a curious tone.

“Usually it’s a pleasant experience going in that phonebooth, the sun shining and people hanging around that alleyway before taking the phonecall and drinking the elixir,,, there must have been a glitch in the system.”

He sounded unsure, scratching the back of his head as he looked at all of the boys. 

“System? What system? I’m dreaming, right?” you said in panic, wanting to get out of this oddly suffocating room. 

“W-we are real and you’re not dreaming,,, it’s just that, we can’t meet in real life you know? This is a place to,,, let oneself go and I know it’s scary since you only get here randomly, it must have been hard passing out like that,,”

A boy with fluffy light brown hair and a pretty eye smile said, Seungmin! You remembered his name because you thought it fitted him, sounding both soft and sharp at the same time. 

“y-yeah,,, it was scary b-but thank you for caring about me” you said with a half smile

“oh! and also, we treated all your wounds, luckily you were passed out so you couldn’t feel the pain but let me tell you,,, it looked awful, I don’t understand how you did that Chan” Jisung remarked with wide eyes, looking at you concerned before turning to Chan.

“Did what?” you inquired to which Jisung responded.

“Removing the pebbles in your wounds, h-how did you even get those in there?” he asked to which you tried to remember, seeing hazed memories of you crawling on the asphalt in the storming rain.

“I was crawling towards the phone booth'' you said quietly as the boys gazed at you with concern. The atmosphere got dusked and in an attempt to lift the mood you cleared your throat, lightly running your hands over the bandaids that were plastered on your scraped knees, wincing from the contact. 

Changbin made eye contact with Chan, jerking his head towards the door to signal for him and the other boys to leave the room. Chan nodded and patted Jeongin on the shoulder, trying to scoot all the boys out of the room like a shepherd leading a bunch of silent sheep.

“Let’s have some fun! Drinks on me boys~” Chan exclaimed to get the boys off their worried thoughts about you, the curly haired male closed the door quietly and both you and Changbin stayed silent until the footsteps were faint on the other side of the black wooden door. 

“Is this better?” Changbin said with a slight smile at the end. “They can be quite the bunch sometimes, either they’re very much off the deep end or they’re just a rowdy mess” he laughs, looking out in the distance before he looks at you with your knees under your chin, holding your legs close to your body.

“So,,, we’re all here for similar reasons?” you mumbled, holding your gaze stable on his dark eyes.

“yeah,,, pretty much. We’ve all dealt with something mentally draining and of course you don’t have to tell but I just want you to know that nothing will hurt you here.” Changbin replied. 

“I do want to tell,,, but it’s just that I don’t want to be alone about it. I’ve never been around people that have shared the same experiences.”

Changbin slid closer to you on the couch, putting one leg over the other. 

“It’s like that for,,, almost every single individual in the club, we all want to tell our stories and this is the place to do it. No one is gonna judge you for it. I remember thinking that when I first got here, ‘everyone is gonna judge me for not drinking’.”

Changbin’s last sentence caught your attention.

“but aren’t you the bartender? shouldn’t you know all the,,, liquors and such?”

Changbin sighed and you regretted you sentence, thinking that maybe you asked a too personal question. 

“I do know them but not in the way one should.” 

Something clicked in your head when the boy uttered those words. You nodded silently, letting your gaze fall to your wounded knees as your shaky voice spoke;

“So do I” 

Changbin’s gaze was fixated on the floor as he shared what was on his mind. 

“But no one judged me,,, eh,,, I never asked for your name!” the boy said to which you giggled, reassuring Changbin that you were in a stable state.

“It’s y/n, nice to meet you!” you said, stretching your hand forward to shake his. Changbin smiled towards your gesture.

“pretty name, angel” he said, shaking your hand and noticing how small it was in his grasp, the cold metal of his rings contrasting to your now warm hands. He didn’t let go immediately, instead holding your hand and feeling it’s warm temperature, running his thumb across your knuckles softly. You snarked at his comment.

“angel? didn’t know we had established pet names for each other in barely 10 minutes of meeting.” 

“and I didn’t know angels landed in this place” he said back. “i’ve had to deal with 7 annoying boys that never listen to me,,, well, 8 but one of them,,, disappeared.”

You nodded, not wanting to overstep any boundaries by asking about that 8th guy incase it was an emotional topic. 

“how is it? working with alcohol despite having quite a rocky relationship to it?”

The buff boy hummed, drumming his fingers on the seat next to him. 

“It’s better than one might think. I get to be around it without engaging in the activity myself, simply serving clients and the boys  already know it, we look out for each other. Like a family you know!” Changbin said with a happy tone, not wanting the conversation to get you in a bad mood after all you’ve been through that night.

“family,,, could use one of those” you joked and Changbin actually laughed which you’ve never felt with anyone before, the only response you usually got was your therapist writing down your self deprecating jokes with their orange lead pencil.

“you’re always welcome to us” he said, letting go of your hand that now felt empty. You felt safe. There was no way of describing it but you felt this caring aura around this man, drawing you closer to him. 

“how long does this last? i’m guessing you go back to ‘the real world’ again at some point” you spoke, making quotation marks with your hands.

“it depends, it’s different every time but you will pass out just like you did when you got here but you won’t go back to the phone booth, you’ll wake up where you were last in real life. Time goes on in the real world but here,,, clocks don’t really work. We’ve tried bringing clocks or phones with us but the digits don’t change.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. This had to be a dream. 

“w-whats with the gold on the phone? Does money exist in this,,, universe?” you asked with confusion to which Changbin shook his head.

“no, drinks are free and so are the phone calls, i have no idea why the phone booth says that or why Chan said that drinks are on him, he must have been stressed trying to get the boys out of here” Changbin said to which you giggled.

“i-is there any time where you never return?” you asked, earning a bittersweet smile from the male.

“yeah,,, if those issues you have get resolved but,, that rarely happens. Destructive behaviours feed of each other. Get rid of one and it gets replaced with another.”

You recognised that. It was always something, you could never live in peace without feeling the need to self sabotage. 

“Poor innie knows that too well” he added with an acerbic tone. 

“innie?” you tilted your head in question, gazing around the dark room that was rather empty, only a couple of dark colored shelves on the wall and the couch you were sitting on along with the ceiling lamp that was stingy with it’s light.

“Jeongin, the youngest among us. Poor boy has been through it all, if it’s not drugs it’s self harm and Minho is a real dick sometimes, bringing pocket knives in “defense”. He’s delusional, thinking everyone is out to get him and Jeongin knows this. We’ve found our precious little boy in the bathroom too many times, holding those stupid knifes Minho keeps having on him and crying till his cheeks puff up.”

You took a mental note to keep your distance from Minho, feeling bad for Changbin that had to be amidst this mess while dealing with his own emotions. You could relate, being the emotional pillar between your parents that hated each other to the brink of physical violence. There’s always someone that has to suffer because of other people's problems. 

“I’m so sorry to hear that, Changbin.” you managed to stutter out, not knowing what else to add to the conversation.

“Ah,,, don’t be, y/n! Just take good care of yourself, that’s what matters the most to me” Changbin said. You smiled, moving closer and hovered your hand above his shoulder.

“Can I?” you asked quietly to which Changbin nodded and moments later felt your warm hand patting his back. He felt listened to. Understood. And even though he was yet to tell you his entire life story he knew that you were different from the others. You actually cared about him. 

The room started spinning again and you clutched onto Changbin’s black t-shirt, trying to stabilize yourself. Those rainbow colored speckles you had seen earlier appeared again, vision blurring right in front of your eyes. 

“y/n? how are you?” Changbin’s voice was worried but he knew what was happening. 

“it’s spinning again, I t-think I’m gonna pass,,, out” you muttered, 

“It’s alright y/n, I’m here yeah?” His rough voice distinguished itself from his comforting words as you held onto the dark haired boy, a faint smell of tobacco interlacing with the air you breathed in through your nose. Your two arms were now wrapped around the male with your face against his broad shoulder, eyes shutting as tightly as they could, face contorting into fear until everything disappeared. The vague beats of the music. The pain that ached from your knees. The feeling of finally finding home in someone's arms. 

Everything turned into nothing in Changbin’s embrace. You were slowly turning into his everything because he had nothing in his life. 

And then you woke up. 

You gasped for air as you woke up in panic, hunching over on the floor in a coughing fit, clawing at your neck for oxygen. Panting on the floor you put your forehead against the wooden laminated floorboards, your frizzy hair blocking out the little light that was in the apartment and being hit with the malodorous smell of distilled alcohol. 

What was that?

You were convinced that it was some kind of wicked dream. An escape from reality even. But as Changbin said, you did wake up in the exact same place and position you passed out in. A long breath seized through your lungs as you shifted in your position on the floor. 

“Son of a bitch!” 

Tears prickled the corners of your eyes as the hard floor hit your wounded knees. You quickly sat down on your butt, lifting your knees up to your chin and only then did your heart drop.

It wasn’t a dream. Your eyes lingered on the bandaids that were placed with the utmost care across your both knees, a stain of dark brown blood seeping through the sticky elastic material and dried blood staining your knees in a haphazard attempt of somebody trying to wipe it off without hurting you. You managed to grab the edge of the sofa, levering yourself up with, testing out the strength left in your wobbly legs. Your phone lit up, sitting on the place you’re usually curled up in. Throwing yourself on the soft piece of furniture you observed the phone screen, lost eyes wandering mindlessly over the brightly lit display. 

What you noticed wasn’t the worried text from your mother.

It was the fact that the digits hadn’t changed from when you passed out. 

Your head snapped towards the tv screen and the phone fell from your hand when you stared at the screen, breath trembling.

The same documentary. The same colibri. 

This couldn’t be. Surely you hadn’t just stopped time,,, right? This was not something Changbin warned you about. How long until you meet Changbin again? An hour,,, or ever? 

There was nothing else you could do besides wait. Wait until the next time you pass out. And what better way to make time pass but to be confronted by your mother? You pulled up the text on your phone and read it hastily before scoffing.

[Are you eating well? Please call if you see this]

Since when did she care about you? You knew that she did care. Somewhere deep inside her motherly heart she did care but the way she displayed that so-called ‘affection’ didn’t make it obvious. You tried to justify every word, believing all the lies she fed you. You tried so hard to believe that you were healthy, that your mental health wasn’t deteriorating before the eyes of your very own mother that was refusing to see the truth. That her child was indeed in pain. You couldn’t blame her, it was her way of dealing with the issue but it didn’t make it easier for you. Your thumbs hovered above the keyboard, you couldn't think of anything better to write and quickly typed it down before you hit send.

[yes, i’m busy]

Busy contemplating your existence. Your father wasn’t exactly any better. Throwing out each one of your family members until there was only him left. He had no trouble filling that emptiness, simply creating a new family and forgetting you as if you were a chapter of the book called ‘previous life’. You didn’t mind, not after everything he did to you and your mother. There was no need for a person like that in your life but unfortunately it influenced you more than you thought, always seeking validation in either work or relationships because how could you validate yourself after your self esteem had been crushed by this tyrant?

You threw your phone on the table, a clink noise being heard as it hit a bottle, knocking it over but not breaking it. Your parental issues or mental health was for once not the biggest concern in your life, now instead wanting to search for the answers that could explain the nightclub. How did it exist? What caused it to exist and who was behind it? You needed to get back there somehow. 

The tv had turned off by itself, you found yourself waking up on the couch, using a pillow as a blanket, hugging the warm material closer to your body as you whined. With confused and lost eyes you scanned the room for a clock, hitting the table a couple of times and finally getting your hands on your phone, bringing it closer to your eyes. 

[3:02 am] the digits lit up. You rubbed your tired eyes with your left hand, throwing the pillow on the floor and using the phone display as a torch in the pitch dark room. There was no point in falling asleep again, you had already slept so many hours, sleeping anymore would only make you drowsy the entire next day. You yawned as you staggered towards the bathroom, flicking the lightswitch on the wall and squinting fiercely as you were blinded by the harsh bathroom ceiling light. You put the phone down and quickly caught your reflection in the mirror before you sat down on the toilet to pee, folding a couple of sheets toilet paper in your hand. You yawned again as you flushed, going to wash your hands but once again being amused by your reflection.

That’s not me. 

It’s the person I’ve become but never wanted to be. 

Your dark circles almost reached your cheekbones, the wounds on your knees still stinging even after hours of peaceful slumber. You poked your tongue out to which the reflection did the same, staring back at you with frizzy hair and puffy eyes from tears. You couldn’t trust it. Mirrors lie you thought and so does every single reflective surface in the entire world. You would never know what you truly looked like and that ignited panic in you, feeling your breath rapidly increasing as you held onto the white cold edge of the bathroom sink. 

This happened. Too often. It was the feeling of not knowing yourself or your surroundings. Like you had just appeared in this world, scared and alone. To not know who you are and having to live with yourself til the day you die frightened you. But you didn’t know if death was any better. Sure, the thought was comforting but being buried under layers of soil, having flowers and insects living their best life above you as you simply rotted away wasn’t the solution to all your worries although a moment of eternal peace did sound tempting. 

You felt a lump in your throat, trying to cough as if it was some sort of anxiety flem when in reality it was your brain setting up imaginary barricades. Your hair draped in front of your face and with furious eyes you peeked up, seeing your almost demon-like expression and smiling psychotically. 

I hate you. 

I fucking hate you, y/n l/n.

Your smile was wiped off the moment the room started spinning. Your reflection becomes diffuse in the mirror as if it wasn’t enough not recognising it. A loud gulp made its way down your esophagus as you continued staring at yourself in disgust. You blinked slowly, every time you closed your eyes you saw those rainbow colored specks all around, almost as if they were distracting you from what was happening, like a kaleidoscope for a child. You felt as if the ground started shaking, an earthquake in your personal world that was separated from the real one. Maybe you were going back to the nightclub, to Changbin’s reassuring arms or maybe you we’re really going crazy this time. The specks got bigger, turning into elaborate patterns in neon colors that clouded your vision. You kept eye contact with your reflection for what seemed like forever, despising the person that was staring back, your gaze broken as your eyes rolled back in your skull, your eyes white as if you’d been hexed before you collapsed on the frigid bathroom floor. 

“y/n? y/n, wake up!” 

The sun dazed your eyes as you woke up on the slightly toasty concrete. Changbin tilted his head as a cigarette was hanging out the corner of his mouth, bright sunlight behind him. He had on a jean jacket with patches from several underground punk and rock bands, his neck was embellished with multiple silver chains and his hair was slicked back, glistening in the heat. He knocked the wind out of you even more, as if passing out in the bathroom wasn’t enough torture. 

“oh y/n! you’re awake!” 

Chan says, coming closer to you, this time he’s wearing a tanktop that showed off his flawless abs, your mouth watering at the sight. You only then remembered that you looked like a mess, still in your pyjamas that consisted of an old sports event t-shirt and small basketball shorts. 

“a-am i in the club again?” you say, rubbing your eyes with both hands before feeling your head pounding a bit, sitting up slowly and feeling the harsh ground beneath you. 

“no! you’re at the phone booth, everyone is here now oh and, this is usual how it’s supposed to look.”

After your vision stops blurring you look around, seeing the same alleyway and the same crimson phone booth but being hit with a completely different atmosphere. People were standing in all types of fancy clothes, trendy bright colors, exaggerated makeup and 7 inch platforms. The sun was beaming, it felt like a hot summer day with friends, just like the old days back when you had friends. 

“why does y/n always wear pyjamas? don’t you have any cool clothes?” Hyunjin snarks, pushing his blonde hair behind his ears, displaying his dangly silver and black earrings. 

“knock it off asshat, the poor girl is probably scared off her mind” Seungmin sneaks up behind the blonde, punching him lightly in the stomach before he smiles sweetly at you. Duality was this man's second name. 

“t-thank you seungmin” you said, giving a smile back but being met with a surprised facial expression.

“you remembered my name!” he said, giggling adorably. You gave a small nod before you looked back at Changbin that was drawing a breath from the cigarette, puffing out a white cloud close to your face before waving it away. You noticed how tired Changbin looked, his cheekbones sunken in and his complexion bleak. He stretched out his hand to help you up which you grabbed, the insides between his pointer and ring finger being slightly stained orange from tobacco. You wobbled up on your feet, knees slightly unstable but feeling better from sitting down a while. 

“are you alright y/n? i could open that resting room if you want” he said before inhaling smoke once again, spreading in his mouth and intoxicating him. You shook your head.

“i want to see the club, why not while we’re there you know?” you said, smiling brightly and making his heart jump. Changbin hid the grin he so desperately wanted to display by dropping the cigarette bud on the concrete, stepping on it with his heavy boots that had chain details attached. 

“alright, whatever you want angel” Changbin sneered which caught the attention of the 7 other boys, all staring at the jean-jacketed boy. 

“angel? seems like someone has a crush” Hyunjin remarked making Jisung burst out in laughter. 

“says master heartbreaker” Chan said under his breath making Hyunjin furrow his eyebrows, diverting his gaze from Changbin to Chan instead. 

“come on you guys! can we not go to the club already?” Felix said, him also wearing a crop top along with a leather chest harness that accentuated his figure. Jisung nodded and made his way towards the phone booth that had droplets of steam on the inside, Felix and Hyunjin following shortly after the squirrel-like boy. You observed the alleyway. People leaning against the grey wall where the phone booth was, either smoking or chatting. Some were standing, others sitting down directly on the concrete, feeling the same heat you felt as you woke up. 

With unstable steps you walked towards the phone booth behind all the boys, Changbin staying by your side and waving his hands towards the 7 boys that had somehow crammed into the humid and stuffy metal building, Chan closing the glassdoor as a couple of the boys giggled. You and Changbin stood on the other side of the door, seeing how Chan grabbed the black phone you had once held with cold dirty hands and Seungmin giggling as he took a sip out of the contents in the paper cup, passing it around to the others that did the same.

They disappeared right in front of you. Your mouth stood agape. They didn’t pass out, they just disappeared into thin air, leaving the airless crimson structure empty yet again. 

“w-wait, why didn’t they pass out?” you asked, turning to Changbin as you ran a hand through your hair.

“it happens when you’re new. the body isn’t used to the entire,,, universe switch so you will probably pass out this time also but don’t worry, i’ll catch you” 

Changbin grinned, opening the door and being hit by the lack of oxygen. He held the door open for you to which you smiled, stepping inside and seeing that the paper cup had been refilled automatically. The door closed behind Changbin, you standing in close proximity to the boy as you lifted the phone slowly, still feeling the warmth from Chan’s hand. The dark haired boy grabbed the brown paper cup, not even looking at the goopy substance before drinking it, seeing his adam's apple bob up and down. You put the phone towards your ear, wondering why you didn’t hear the female automated voice.

“it doesn’t work?” you said with confusion to which Changbin smiled, pressing in the infamous number on the rusty keypad.

[1800-xxx]

“yeah, it doesn’t if you don’t type in the number” he chuckled, holding the paper cup in both hands and leaning against the humid glass.

Suddenly you hear the voice you were dreading the hear.

“Thank you for calling. This place only appears to the suffering. If you are receiving this call, congratulations! Your prayers have been answered. Drink the liquid in the paper cup above this payphone. Drink the liquid. Drink the liquid. Drink the liquid.”

It reminded you of that night. That dark rainy evening. The voice started to lag, just like it did last time. You hung up and turned around whereupon you saw Changbin handing you the paper cup. You gulped and put your lips on the edge of the cup, looking at him with unease but feeling comfortable with his presence. You tilted the cup, feeling the sweetness trickle down your throat, almost stinging your insides. Changbin smiled, he looked like the typical bad boy from every cliché teen movie but it made your heart flutter, slightly embarrassed at the state of yourself. He pushed away from the glass wall and swiped his thumb across the corner of your mouth, wiping off the sweet liquid and licking it off the tip of his thumb. You stood there, frozen at the sudden action, gazing softly at him. 

“you had something there” he chuckled as you started to feel lightheaded again, your eyelids getting heavy. 

“thanks” you said shortly, your gaze drifting down on the dirty floor beneath your feet, drifting in and out of consciousness. 

Changbin didn’t say anything, catching you mere seconds after you collapsed on the grimy surface. Admiring your heavy eyes and puffy cheeks for a second before he himself disappeared into the abyss. 

“One Moscow mule, please!” 

An unfamiliar voice shouted through the blasting club music accompanied by what sounded like the shaking off a cocktail shaker. You groaned, your eyes fluttering open and being hit by the beams of a thousand light machines in all sorts of colors.

“Oh y/n!!” Jisung shouted on the other side of the bar, you found yourself sitting on a chair in the corner of the bar, on the same side as Changbin that was working diligently, mixing some concoction into a metal shaker. You rubbed your eyes, yawning and wondering how you could sleep sitting up. You heard Changbin set the metal cup down, telling something to the woman beside him, must be his co-worker you thought. He kneeled down next to the chair you were sitting on, looking up at you with curious eyes. 

“how are you feeling?” he asked loudly, trying to overvoice the music.

“im good” you answered back just as loud, the two of you locking eyes. Changbin smiled at you with his tired face, glancing over the glasses that were located beneath the bar. 

“you want something to drink?” Changbin said to which you nodded. 

“give me anything” you said, messing with your hair and sighing. You felt tired, an urge to sleep despite the loud blaring music. Maybe it was more of an emotional fatigue. A lack of feeling. And that’s usually when you turn to the bottles. Changbin nodded, standing up and returning to his co-worker, starting to grab all kinds of pretty coloured alcohol. 

“ay! y/n! come join us!” you heard Felix say, him standing with a glass in his hand, the other boys scattered around the club along with the other troubled individuals. You smiled widely, looking around and noticing the small exit gate connected to the bar. You patted Changbin on the back, him turning around with a grin before you exited through the gate, closing it after you and pushed through the crowd of people, making your way over to the boys. 

“y/n, welcome to where you will feel alive” Jisung yelled, spreading his arms and nearly knocking someone in the hand.

It was truly living you thought. Every single way to escape reality was located here whether it would be alcohol, drugs or sex. People dancing and jumping, grinding and rubbing up against each other. In multiple booths there were people making out, touching in unknown places. Many looked outright high, moving as if their body was possessed by some dance god, not knowing how to control their limbs. You could have sworn you saw Seungmin putting a yellow pill in his mouth, smiling mischievously at someone you didn’t know. 

So this was letting go. 

“y/n! here!” you heard Changbin’s voice call behind you, turning around and seeing him putting a glass of clear liquid onto the stained wooden bar with coasters scattered all around, a couple lime wedges floating around with the ice in the glass.

“vodka tonic, giving you the strong ones” he said, grinning, to which you smiled back, understanding the hint to his personal life through his eyes. The glass was cold against your warm hand since you were in this stuffy environment filled with countless people and without any windows, only a ventilation system that led to nothing. You put the edge of the glass against your lips, taking a sip and swallowing harshly, feeling bitterness that tasted sweet because that’s what alcohol does when it’s consumed on a particularly bitter day. Or life. 

The other boys were dancing, Chan mostly hanging around the edges of the nightclub and observing the nightlife. You made your way over to him, taking another sip in order to gain the courage to strike up a conversation. 

“Sup? you feeling any better?” he asked before you had the chance to even open your mouth. 

“better. why aren’t you enjoying yourself like the others?” 

“i mean,,, i’m technically doing my job even though i’m not getting paid for it. i just like to be in charge i guess,,,” he said, getting more and more silent as he spoke. You nodded.

“i do work with stuff in real life as well” he added, to which you raised your eyebrows.

“what do you work with,,, if you don’t mind me asking!” you said, taking another sip of what tasted like Lucifer’s saliva. 

“music producer! it’s tiresome but,,, i don’t really need sleep,,, or more like i can’t sleep. lucky there’s energy drinks and naps” he said with a giggle, his dimples displaying as he chuckled, leaning against the black walls of the nightclub. 

“must be tough,,, but wait,,, i’ve never heard your music,,, and also shouldn’t you be the DJ then?” you said confused, swirling the liquid in your hand. 

“but that’s the thing y/n, all these people, every single person you see in this room lives in another universe”

You gazed at him, Chan looking straight ahead towards the crowd.

“what do you mean by different universes?” you asked to which curly haired boy cocked his eyebrow.

“we will never coexist y/n, when i tell you that we’ve tried to bring our friendships to the real world i really mean it. we will never exist in your life outside of this hub and,,, it sucks.” Chan took a pause before speaking, pondering on what to say next.

“-thats what happened with a friend we had. i’m saying had because we don’t know where they are or what adventures await them. They just,,, disappeared” Chan said mellowly, you humming in response as you took a final sip of the devil’s juice, already feeling your face heating up.

“h-how does one get out of this place,,, forever i mean” you asked, leaning back against the same wall as Chan and looking right ahead as the song changed to a slower, almost psychedelic beat. 

“when said person gets help,,, or starts to feel better or when you hit the casket, three options basically” he says with an acerbic smile. “what? Do you like Changbin?” Chan says teasingly. “you’ve been catching glances at him this entire conversation.”

He was right, you had been glancing over at Changbin occasionally, you couldn’t help it. Was it an excuse for you to look at his cute face from a distance or because you cared about him? You laughed it off but Chan turned serious.

“you know that’s it’s not possible.” he says quietly.

“what? what is not possible?”

“a relationship”

You choked on your own saliva, being blinded by the annoyingly bright strobe lights.

“a relat- ya! do you really think I have time for any of that? besides,,, i’m not really interested in Changbin.”

“who said only you should be interested?” 

Your eyes widened when Chan said that. No way could Changbin have these weird feelings to you, the feeling shouldn’t be mutual. 

“h-has Changbin said something about you?” you asked timidly, gazing over at Changbin that temporarily made eye contact across the club.

“why don’t you ask him yourself? but i’m telling you y/n,, don't get attached, you will get hurt,,, j-just like i did once” 

Sure, you understood what Chan meant. Everyone was here for the time being. One day he could disappear if he decided that the life he was living now either isn’t worth it or he takes control and makes something out of it. There comes a time where you are too tired of living the way you do and so you do something about it, no matter if it’s good or bad. 

Changbin waved his hand at you, wanting you to join him behind the bar where now Felix was standing and annoying Changbin by tickling him or whispering in his ear as he moved his body with much fluidity. You smiled, waving towards Chan shortly before you once again made your way through the crowd, feeling lightheaded but in a positive way, as if you really were forgetting reality for a moment. 

“y/n!! come!!” Changbin yelled, bouncing slightly to the typical house beat that was now playing, barely holding the bottle of gin since Felix was pestering him playfully. Changbin’s co-worker opened the wooden gate for you, smiling sweetly at you and you doing the same back, your gaze drifting down until you notice the red marks around her throat. You were often scared by people. Not by their actions but by their way to cover them up and of course, you were guilty of this too. Looking at these people you would never guess the pain that was going on inside, the surface level happiness really is surface level. You could smile genuinely towards her, you didn’t have to understand everything she was going through but you knew how it was, smiling when bridges are burning in your mind. 

Sometimes pretending hurts more. 

“Changbin!” you squealed after you had passed by his co-worker, holding the empty glass that was now nothing more but half melted ice cubes and three wedges of bright green lime. Without thinking you put the glass down on his working station and pull him into a tight hug, squeezing your body against his and feeling the warmth radiate off of him. He froze awkwardly in your arms before loosening up, wrapping his arms around you and ultimately taking in your scent that was now mostly pungent with liquor and sleep, a soft scent that Changbin couldn’t get enough off. You felt safe which was rare in a nightclub especially knowing that most people were either high or carrying weapons. But there was something about him that made you feel like home. It felt familiar, like you’d visited his soul. As if the two of you were sharing the same empty house in your heart despite you never letting anyone in, too scared to be hurt again. Maybe you could let Changbin in, maybe he was different. 

The hug lasted longer then you thought, his eyes darting all over the stuffy room before he slowly let go, taking a long inhale of the almost addictive smell. The two of you locked eyes, a shy red tinged his cheeks that was only visible due to there being a spotlight just above him. 

“can i talk to you for a second?” you asked, rather boldy which was odd. He nodded and grabbed your wrist only to pull you in behind the same black door where you once ended up in, confused and dazed. He let go of you and closed the door behind him, you standing in the middle of the room that now had tiny light standing on the floor, nothing more new then the same old shelfs and black leather couch. 

“what did you wanna talk about?,,, figured you maybe wanted to tell me somewhere more quiet”

‘Quiet’ was an overstatement, the music was making the walls shake and even though it was muffled the jumping of hundreds of people could still be heard in the small dark room where you were alone, with him. 

“ehm,,, i don’t know really,,,” you stammered, not knowing what else to say.

“is something wrong y/n? Do you need to be alone for a while? i can le-”

“no, thank you,,, i just wanna be with you.” You interrupted him, his eyebrows furrowing when you uttered the last sentence. He stepped closer to you, the soles of his shoes making a pleasant sound against the floor. You lifted your gaze at him, Changbin standing right in front of you. Beauty that could make you drool. His hair was slightly messy, temples sweaty as he had worked and fetched all kinds of bottles for hours, the grey apron marking his title in the nightclub.

“but i’m here with you! Are you playing some sort of prank on me? did chan set this up?” he chuckled with a smirk, throwing a gaze at the door before diverting it back to your glossy eyes.

“n-no,,, Changbin, I want you”

His mind went blank and so did yours.

You don’t know why you said that but it was too late. The cat was out of the bag. It was too late.

“y/n? are you drunk?” he asked, looking at you seriously and putting the back of his hand against your forehead, suspecting you might be getting sick. You shook your head in response.

“no, it was only one drink, you know? i just,,, kinda,, want you”

You grabbed his hand that was still lingering on your forehead and drew it closer to your heart, holding firmly by his wrist. The clothed valleys of your breasts made contact with the rough palm of his hand, Changbin’s eyes still glued to yours. He scoffed loudly.

“and here i was,,, thinking it was some sort of unrequited love”

It felt like his hand turned into thorns, stinging your heart. So he wanted you too. 

Changbin’s hand that rested on your boob snaked upwards, grabbing your jaw as he smiled at you briefly, tilting his head and slowly closing his eyes, attaching his rough lips on yours. Your eyes widened before they closed slowly, eyelashes fluttering in a flirty haze. This was how it felt to kiss someone you loved. It was as if a thousand fireworks ignited inside your beating heart, flying and exploding in an array of colors. A pure lightshow. 

Your hands made their way to Changbin’s angular face, cupping his cheeks and feeling his sharp cheekbones against the palms of your hands. Your noses accidentally bumped into each other as your heads tilted from left to right, a sensual pace to the kiss to which the dark haired boy chuckled, adding some laughter to the otherwise grave situation that contained the sounds of two lips smooching each other. The music was only adding to the ambiance, Changbin’s hands wandering and exploring territory on your body that was foreign to him but very well-known to you. Your wet tongues danced around to a serenade, his kiss was strong, sure to leave an unforgettable impression on you. You would want him from now on and forever. 

You moaned into the kiss as his hands rested on your ass, groping the flesh that was covered by your pyjamas-shorts. This made Changbin cock his eyebrow, pieces of his slicked back hair falling into his face as making him look like a charming 80′s prince. His fingers danced around the elastic band of your pants, fingers hooking and playfully tugging on the string, a silent plea for you to take them off. You smiled against his lips, saliva exchanging in a heavy and steamy kiss, your cheeks growing warmer by the second. 

The two figures melted into one as Changbin pulled you closer to his body, feeling his cock poke through the coarse material of his jeans against your lower abdomen. Good to know that he was enjoying this as much as you were. Your hands descended downwards, traveling along his black tight t-shirt, the jean jacket from earlier being god knows where. The contour of his abs made you smirk, you knew what he was hiding beneath these clothes that you ravenously wanted to tear up. You palmed him through his pants, earning a hiss from the male that panted heavily into the kiss. 

You broke the kiss, taking a moment to breathe as your lips were separated by a lonely string of saliva. You grabbed Changbin’s wrist, pushing him down on the leather couch as you straddled his lap, feeling his hard-on against your aching wet cunt. You wanted him so bad and here he was, in front of you for only you to devour. Changbin grabbed onto your hips, pinning them down against his cock and leaning forward to reattach his lips on yours, teeth  accidentally clicking against each other moments before your sloppy hot tongues met, feeling his tongue against the soft surface of yours. The sound of lips meeting ringed through your ears, your hips grinding against Changbin’s crotch in a steady pace, feeling your neediness grow. Your hands ran along his abdomen, sneaking them up inside his shirt and tugging on the black material of his t-shirt, pulling it above his head. What was hiding underneath his clothes was more than a pleasant surprise. Your lips moved swiftly against his jawline, peppering kisses on his delicate neck as your hands teased the supple skin of his abdomen, feeling the outline of his muscles against your touch. 

Changbin placed his hands near your stomach, pulling your oversized sleeping shirt over your head in the same fashion you did moments earlier. You gasped as the fabric danced over your now hardened nipples, freeing your tits. Of course you didn’t wear a bra when you were in the comfort of your own home but you didn’t think anyone would actually undress you, especially not Changbin. He hummed at the sight, cupping your tits in his hands that were covered in metal rings, feeling the coldness against your heated skin. You shuddered, the sensation shooting down to your dripping core. He kneaded them in his hands as you rubbed against his cock, his boner having a visible outline through his pants, you couldn’t help but to fiddle with his belt buckle, undoing it and hearing the clicking sound of the buckle hitting itself. Changbin pulled away from your swollen lips, tapping you on the thigh to step off in order for him to pull his pants down. You moved to the seat next to him on the couch, the leather sticking back as you laid down, lifting your hips up to remove your pyjama pants along with your panties that quickly hid underneath the fussy pants due to it’s rather interesting print, small teddy bears printed on the fabric. You kicked off your shoes, more like slippers that you wore indoors. 

Changbin swiftly pulled down his jeans and black boxers in one motion, throwing them close to your pile of clothes at the base of the couch. Your eyes widened, mouth watering at the pure sight of his cock, a pretty bead of precum decorating his slit, contrasting with the crimson shiny tip. A big gulp descended down your esophagus, heat tinging your cheeks. He chuckled from seeing you stare at his member with shiny doe eyes that reflected in the small lamp on the floor.

“You seem,,, intrigued” he chuckled to which you giggled, not believing that you were really in this small room together with him. 

“Y-yeah,,, maybe I am” you snarked, moving your gaze to his eyes and smiling. Only on your way upwards his well-sculpted body did you see the boy holding a small blue plastic item. You furrowed your eyebrows when Changbin opened the packet, retrieving a slightly slippery condom from inside. 

“Do we even need that?” you laughed before continuing. “I mean if nothing gets transferred to the real world neither should pregnancies or STD’s” 

Changbin tsked, rolling the condom onto his veiny cock, turning slightly away from you to avoid your intense eyes. 

“Ask Chan, he would know” Changbin said, turning back to you and making his way over to the couch.

“N-no,,, no way.” You shook your head, your mouth agape as your eyes still danced over Changbin’s buff thighs. 

“Yup, knocked up a girl” he said, suppressing a laugh. “And that’s why y/n, you never think with your dick”.

“Being completely honest,,, I expected more from Chan, he seems really,,, responsible” you remarked, Changbin hovering over you and placing a soft kiss on your lips, his hands on either side of your figure.

“He is but I think love is his weak spot or more like,,, lack of love. He often confuses love with either sex, money or fame,,, might I even say drugs.” 

You simply nodded not knowing what more to add to the conversation, Changbin’s fingers tracing small circles around your nipples, sneaking them down between your legs where your cunt was aching after him. Anything, as long as it was him. His middle- and ring finger dipped into your heat, feeling the wetness between your folds causing you to hold on to Changbin’s sturdy shoulder. Without warning his fingers entered your dripping hole, fingers curling upwards and grazing your g-spot. You flinched, feeling his cold metal rings against your clit. The dark haired boy shushed, reassuring you that you were in safe hands and that he would make you feel good. Nothing else mattered besides you. 

His fingers grazed your velvety walls, thrusting up into your cunt with just enough vigor to make you clutch to his bicep, the firm muscles making you swoon. You whined, spreading your legs even wider, your left leg hanging over the leather couch, sticking to your thigh as your body was heating up from arousal. The wet sounds of Changbin’s fingers playing with your cunt along with your soft whimpers were louder than the music outside, you pressing your head back onto the couch, rubbing your hair on the material. Changbin licked his plump lips upon seeing your face contorting into all kinds of lewd facial expressions, his cock needing to feel your warmth wrapped around it. The pad of his thumb played with your clit, laying it flat against the nub and teasing it in small circles causing tears to prickle in the corners of your shut eyes. 

“a-are you alright y/n?” he whispered softly in your ear, kissing the shell of your ear. You nodded, your hands cupping your tits, pinching your hardened nipples, adding pleasure and heat to the burning in your core. Changbin pulled out his fingers, putting the slick covered digits in his mouth and watching you with hawk eyes as he lapped up your juices, humming in delight. 

“fuck you taste so good angel” he stated, making you blush, covering your face with your hands. Changbin chuckled, tapping the tip of his dick against your swollen clit and aligning himself with your entrance. You moaned from the sensations, wrapping your legs around him to pull him in, you growing impatient the more he teased. 

“p-please fuck me Changbin” you said uttered in a faint voice, barely audible due to the music. It was as if his eyes tinged with a dark color, full of lust. His eyes were hooded, looking down at you with half closed lids, sighing loudly with sexual frustration. He wanted to destroy you, make you his but he had to hold onto his composure. Holding you firmly by your hips he slowly pushed the tip of his cock inside you, grunting at the warmness that comforted him. You hissed, biting the inside of your cheek, your nose scrunching up at the feeling of being stretched out by his girthy length. 

“can I go all the way? does it feel alright?” he asked. You answered with a small “yes”, more worried about the door being unlocked, anyone could burst through the door in seconds only to witness Changbin fucking you on the couch. That thought was quickly wiped from your mind as his cock stuffed into your cunt, your eyes rolling back into your skull as he slowly thrusts into you, using the hands on your hips as a way to guide him, nailing your cervix with each movement. The tips of his ears turned red, the silver chain around his neck reflecting on the dim light in the room as it rocked back and forward above you. You placed your hands around his wrists, looking boldly into his eyes with, a feeling brewing inside you that was hard to describe. It was titillation mixed with yearning. You knew you got him here. He was safe in your arms. You wanted to save him from everything bad in this world but how is that possible when you can’t even save yourself?

“c-changbin” you said in broken syllables, his thrusts only quickening. “changbin!” you repeated, shutting your eyes tightly, curling your toes in pleasure as a string of pretty moans melodically fell from your mouth along with his name. You couldn’t take it, his cock ramming into you in a both mindful and eager manner causing you to claw at his forearms, nails digging into the soft skin. Your tongues were once again caught in a kiss, the taste of your tongue being irresistible to the boy but not sure if it was your love that was drawing him in or the subtle taste of liquor from earlier. His lips felt parched against your, his tongue gliding on your bottom lip before kissing it, his saliva feeling hot in your mouth. The boy above you pulled away for a moment.

“you’re so pretty like this y/n,, fuck, i think i love you”

You gulped but your silence was soon cut off from Changbin slamming his hips against yours, his cock hitting your that specific spot that made you go crazy, the familiar feeling of your orgasm penting up inside you. You moaned with desperation, the lewd sounds bouncing off the dark colored walls. This was music for Changbin’s ears. His grunts accompanied by your whimpers and the squelching sound of your walls engulfing his dick so tightly, the sounds alone was heaven for him. With every move against your body you felt the well-acquainted smell of cigarettes that you could almost feel in your lungs, an addictive scent. 

“i love you too, Changbin” you mumbled, slurring on your words from nervousness, feeling shy even though you were naked in front of him. He smiled, peering down at you as his hair fell from it’s perfect gelled state. You smiled softly at him, his cheeks slowly turning a red that matched his lips. Your moans turned to borderline screams, his cock twitching inside of you as he slowly got closer to his sweet release. Clenching around him, Changbin grabbed bent your legs towards you, gently rolling his head backwards as the pace got quicker. 

“i’m g-gonna cum! don’t stop!” you yelped, your heart thumping at the speed of light, tiny sweat droplets forming on your forehead. Changbin reached so deep inside of you causing you to thrash around, fiercely trying to grip to the edges of the couch. The burning in your core got intense, it felt as if a thousand stars were falling at the same time, bursting with amativeness. The sudden feeling of warmth took over your body, a pleasant tingle surging. A breathy moan leaving you stunned, grabbing onto Changbin’s hands that were pushing your knees towards you. Just as your orgasm washed over you like a ton of bricks falling to the ground, your body jolted with the last couple of powerful thrusts, a loud gasp slipping from his lips. His girthy cock released it’s seed into the condom, his hot breath lingering near you. 

He let go of your quivering legs, them flopping down on either side of him. Your chest heaved up and down as you breathed through your parted lips. Changbin pulled off, carefully removing the condom and discarding it somewhere on the floor. He snuggled close to you on the narrow couch, pressing his sweaty body against yours, taking a moment to catch his breath before speaking.

“So you love me too?” he chuckled. You turned to face him, looking deep into his dark brown eyes that looked pitch black in the dim light. After a loud exhale you answered him.

“No, I think I can’t live without you” you whispered, rubbing the tip of your nose against his. His stable breath tickled against your chin, your eyes slowly closing as Changbin was observing your features that he found insanely attractive. And it was even more attractive that you were his. But this couldn’t last.

“You know this is not possible y/n” he said with sadness in his voice as he gulped, his adams apple protruding. You knew it, the thing you dreamt of wasn’t possible since the two of you didn’t exist in each other's worlds. 

“I feel fucking stupid” you said with closed eyes, sighing after your words. Changbin shook his head. 

“Don’t give up that easily y/n, we can try”. He was right but what relationship was only visible in the darkness of a nightclub? Only a promiscuous one. Yet, you didn’t want to give up. Not matter what kind of relationship it was you wanted to be with him. 

“So,,, what does that mean? That we are-”

“Dating, I guess” he added shortly, the corner of his lips lifting upwards. It sounded weird in your ears. Dating someone you had only met a couple of times but it felt right. This was where you belonged. In his arms, away from all your demons. He truly cared for you, not like the others. He was unlike those in your life that said that they cared but never wanted to know more than the surface level of your character. He wanted to know everything about you. Your hurt, your sorrows, your pain but also your happiness, your joy and your solace. He wanted to know you. 

Your hands trailed up and down his upper arms, his skin feeling soft against your touch. The two of you cuddled like this for a while, Changbin running his hands along your hair, its smell reminding him of a green meadow of millions of flowers in all shapes, colors and sizes. He didn’t want to leave but if he wasn’t back in the bar the boys would start looking for him and the last thing he wanted was 7 boys teasing him for getting it on. You were more than a hookup. More than just a fling. 

Changbin stood up, squinting his eyes in order to look for his clothes and finding them scattered all over the room. He pulled his underwear and jeans over his lower body before pulling his shirt over his top half, the black t-shirt sitting snugly around his muscles. He ran a hand through his dark hair, shaking his head before smirking at you. Such a tease. 

“Do you have to leave?” you asked with a whiny voice, your arms felt empty once again. He nodded.

“i’m afraid so, don’t want them thinking I've been transported back without them knowing, they get worried but that’s only natural I guess.” 

You nodded back, putting your cheek against the leather on the seat, your arm hanging straight down, the back of your hand limp against the floor. 

“Get dressed if you want to have some more fun or you can chill here for a moment but I have to warn you, that door doesn’t have a lock” Changbin said, pointing at the only door in the room. 

“i’ve already noticed that” you remarked, grabbing your panties and only after you’ve pulled them halfway up your thigh did you see Changbin smirking at you.

“You’re cuter than I thought” he said, pointing at your teddy bear panties with his chin, stepping closer to you. You looked away, biting your lip in embarrassment as you felt his hand on your hair, ruffling it sloppily. 

“You’re making fun of me!” you said back with a pout, pulling your pyjama pants over your bottom. 

“yeah, because you’re adorable” he said, placing a peck on your lips. You wanted more of him. He was simply addictive. 

But not even this universe wanted to see you two together.

Your eyelids got heavier, your eyebrows furrowing at the familiar yet distant feeling. It felt unknown until you saw the small specks clouding up your vision once again. 

“y/n? y/n, how are you?” Changbin said with worry, grabbing you by your shoulders and looking at your apathetic gaze. “N-no, y/n, don’t leave now”

You didn’t want to but you didn’t decide when you left. 

You harshly held Changbin in your arms, putting your forehead against his shoulder, rubbing against it. Changbin slowly put his hands around you, patting your back as salty tears rolled down your warm cheek, putting wet stains on his shirt. 

“shh,,, it’s ok y/n, are you feeling dizzy?” he asked carefully to which you nodded mellowly, your bottom lip quivering as the multicolored boxes of light flashed before your eyes. The room felt unstable, like your legs wouldn’t hold you much longer and they didn’t when you collapsed into Changbin’s arms, him holding you tightly to his chest as your knees buckled. Your voice was unstable, a silent cry pleading to be heard.

“I love you” you whispered in a frail voice. The ear-deafening music from outside was tuning out from your hearing, your words slurring at the end as you repeated yourself for the last time. 

“I love y-you”

Changbin was left hugging air, his arms empty as he opened his sparkling eyes. He was close to tears because he was left there. Without you. 

“HEY! WHERE IS- oh” 

Jisung burst through the black door, the six other boys standing close behind him as they looked around the room, eventually catching eye contact with Changbin.

“She went home” Changbin said softly, letting his arms fall to the sides. Jisung inched closer to him, patting him on the shoulder where your tears were still left as a souvenir of your love. 

“She’ll come back, don’t worry about it” Jisung said with a reassuring smile, leading Changbin to the door, out of the room that smelled like sex and tenderness.

“Euw,, what is this doing here? Does nobody know how to clean up?” Felix said pointing at the used condom on the floor. Changbin’s face went cold, stopping dead in his tracks. 

“is it yours or something Changbin?” Hyunjin laughed, pushing the youngest, Jeongin, in a fit of laughter. 

The room went quiet after Hyunjin’s cold laughter. It was pretty obvious.

“YOU FUCKED HER?” Jisung screamed in Changbin’s ear, making him flinch away and holding his ear in pain. The room filled with all sorts of teasing sounds, everything from “ooh~" to “AYE” in obnoxious voices. 

“Luckily he used a condom!” Minho snarled, glancing over at Chan that was ready to beat Minho into pulp. Chan sighed, regretting that he didn’t shove the condom in Minho’s smirky face. 

“No but seriously you guys, y/n is more than you think. It’s not just another person I fucked, she actually means something to me.” 

Just when Changbin thought he had something special some of the boys started laughing even harder, ruffling his hair and poking his cheeks.

“yeah right,,, what? are you guys dating or something?” Seungmin asked, rolling his eyes.

“yes, i’m serious you guys! I love her,,,” he said with a frown, already missing your touch.

“What idiot gets into a relationship 3 months before they have to go to rehab?” Minho says, retrieving a cigarette from the red packaging in the pocket of his leather jacket. 

Oh fuck. 

Rehab.

When someone recovers from their pain is when you disappear from the club. You are no longer a lost soul. You are no longer lost within yourself. And that’s when you return to the real world, your real world. 

Keeping secrets in a relationship was deceitful in Changbin’s eyes. If you belong to someone you should be as transparent as the liquor he poured into his ice cold glass every evening. He felt guilty. You poured your heart out for him, telling him everything that had hurt for so many years and here he was, pretending. He did that a lot, mainly because he was taught to be a reliable man. It wasn’t manly to feel. 

Which is why he left his home at a young age. He didn’t care if he worked a minimum wage job and lived in a destitute area, he was content as long as he didn’t live with his parents. But when you live alone it’s not rare that isolation creeps up on you and strokes your cheek with a feather light touch, inviting you over to a dance with the demons that would soon cloud up your mind. Alcohol was Changbin’s comfort. It was the only one that didn’t fail to reassure him. It was as if the bottles spoke to him, promising him that a life intoxicated was better than the life he was currently living. 

And he fell for it.

Every time.

He couldn’t take it anymore, he wanted to live a life that is actually worth living. Change comes from within but he needed help and he had only recently realized that he had a problem, that these toxic liquids were what’s keeping him from chasing the dream life. He didn’t dream of much, just the average life would be more than enough, with someone he loved. 

But what was he supposed to do?

Take the step to recover or continue his addiction for the sake of being with you?

The demons whispered softly in his ears.

Life or Love?

Taglist ; @minholuvs @liz820​ @skztrashbag @lix-freckle3​ 

[tanoraqui]

"what about cyberpunk by way of urban fantasy" cocaine is just haste potions. there's a family of clerics and paladins that run a desalination plant by casting Purify Drink. constructs become the first documented existence of AI; there's hexblade warlocks whose patron is the artificial intelligence in their replaced limbs

No no, you're not doing it right. No offense, but that's not what I meant at all.

"Cyberpunk by way of urban fantasy", or maybe "urban fantasy by way of cyberpunk" is: is many syberpunk worlds, you can immerse yourself so deeply into the digital space that it becomes a space in truth, virtual avatars walking around a landscape of website-cities, buildings made of firewalls, teleporting links and files appearing as they're thought of and streets made of code the skilled can dig their fingers into and twist how they like. In many urban fantasy worlds, magic is drawn from the city itself - the confluence of so many lives and their emotions, the symbolism invested in this guarding statue or that street of stars, the accumulated energy of millions of footsteps...

So speak to me, o muse, of technomancers who don't snap their fingers to activate automated systems or hack code with their mind, but rather who walk the streets of the virtual landscape like an urban magician walks cement and asphalt, drawing power from the active buzz of every website their digital footsteps pass. The living cluster in neighborhoods, each with their unique personalities: run-down but fiercely independent Tumblr; Facebook with its flickering reality; fast-paced, seething, snap-you-down-starving Twitter, and more. Algorithms underlie them like the dragons rumored to lie beneath England and Wales. Go deeper into the less-habitated infrastructure and find that everything in this infinite city-state is connected, pipes of code and wires of data twined together with Amazon's puchasing systems, the infinite rivulets of information feeding into the great river of Google...

Cyberpunk by way of urban fantasy, urban fantasy by way of cyberpunk, means sprinting from the virus-bots on your tail, manifesting in cyberspace as snarling robotic dogs with red eyes, and getting one or two to crash themselves silly into particularly strong firewalls because they can't turn as fast as you, and leading the rest to an original post you know - just a simple series of jpegs, but the magic sparks under your skin and you know how to step on the edge and sway back just in time to not fall, while all the bot-dogs course past you to plummet into the near-endless void of the colors of the sky. It means the blurred line between a tracking spell and an efficient search engine, an encryption key and a blood-locked ward, a virus and a curse. it means being so alight with power on a night like November 5, 2020 that it feels like you might explode.

I wonder if normal coder-hackers and technomancers would hate each other a little - if the natural power of the latter lies in using existing structures, and the trained skill of the former lies in manipulating and changing them. (True ability lies in a combination of he two, of course.)

[levithestripper]

Boshaw's Blowjobs

✩ Masterlist! ✩

✩ Warnings: female! reader, oral sex (male receiving), cum eating, public blowjobs, established relationship ✩

✩ If you want to be added to a taglist, fill this out! ✩

✩ Length: 1.6k || Read on Ao3 ✩

✩ A/N: day 5 of kinktober!! prompt: oral sex! and who better to write it for than mr. charlemagne victor boshaw!! ✩

Moonlight shone through the open sunroof door that illuminated the dark black console between you. Sharky turned his head to see you fast asleep, face leaned on the palm of your hand and snoring. The dried drool caked on your cheek showed him just how long you’d been off in dreamworld. It was the middle of the night, after all; he couldn’t fault you for being tired. Sharky merged lanes haphazardly, although it didn’t matter since not another soul was out on the highway this late. He pulled into a truck stop a few minutes after he broke away from the main road. Sharky parked between two intimidatingly large semis near the front of the building, each both adorned with neon-colored spray paint.

Sharky leaned over the console to shake your shoulder, waking you gently. “Hey, Firecracker. Rise ‘n shine,” he smiled at you as you opened your eyes, “We’re at a rest stop, let’s go stretch out legs and get some food, hm? How’s that sound?” He took his hat off briefly to place a kiss atop your forehead. His soft brown hair flopped over his eyes captivatingly, emphasizing how naturally handsome he was. Sharky fixed his cap back on his head after he leaned back enough for the brim not to press against your face.

“Mmm, that sounds good—” you yawned, “Sharky.” Your hands balled into fists as you rubbed the sleep out of your still tired, dry eyes. “D’you know what part a Montana we’re in?”

“I think we’re somewhere near Lincoln County. Or maybe it’s Flathead County?” He scratched the back of his neck while he thought, “‘M not completely sure. Still not the best with readin’ maps.” Sharky unbuckled his seatbelt to hop out of the jeep. He quickly jogged around to the passenger side to open your door for you, helping your tired frame out of the vehicle.

You held onto his hand tightly and leaned on his shoulder, your eyes still half-shut from exhaustion. Sharky happily laced your fingers together to ensure you stayed close to him. “That’s—” you yawned again, “Comforting. The driver has no clue where he’s going.” Even though you were tired, there was still energy left to tease him with. “Can we get grilled cheese? Or beer? Or both?” You glanced up at him, and your eyes met with Sharky’s deep blue ones. A dark shadow cast over his face from the brim of his hat, but you were still able to make out his attractive features.

Sharky held you tighter while he walked to the building, his hand fumbling with the keys to lock his car. He opened the door for you again and walked in behind you. Inside, the building was just as rundown as the brick walls on the outside were. Fortunately, it didn’t have a bug infestation like the last one. There were dozens of fast food places and even a few sit-down establishments littering the borders, all tied together by a semi-clean cafeteria in the center. To the right, there were bathrooms and even a public shower.

“Zippo, sweetheart. Y’know how much I love drinkin’, but it’s too late even for me. An’ drinkin’ when you’re this tired ain’t good for ya’. So let’s just stick to the grilled cheese you want, okay?” He rubbed your upper arm soothingly while he pressed a kiss to your cheek, his goatee tickling your sensitive skin. “I can’t be drinkin’ anyway, Matchstick, I’m the driver. Can’t risk gettin’ you hurt.”

“I guess you’re right, Sharky. It’s way too late, and ‘m way too tired to be drinking.” You kissed his cheek back with a smile as you slowly started to wake up more. “You gonna get somethin’ to eat?”

He shrugged. “Not sure yet, but prob’ly some more pop an’ maybe soup, if they have it.” Sharky looked around at all of the options before he pointed at a Panera. “Let’s go to that one. You can get your sandwich, an’ I can get my soup. An’ best part of all is we won’t have to sit out in the cafeteria.” Sharky took your hand again to lead you through the weirdly empty truck stop, save for a few employees.

By the time both of you finished up your meals, the time pushed one o’clock in the morning. The roles were reversed now; Sharky was drowsy while you were alert and awake. He leaned against the fabric backing of the booth, hands up behind his head. Sharky’s sat in a manspread position, knees just far enough apart to fit yourself in between them. You slid down to the floor and silently crawled over to your boyfriend as a wry smirk grew across your face. As you got comfortable, you kicked your shoes off so you could sit on top of your calves, legs effectively folded in half. Your deft fingers undid his belt and pulled down his fly, the jeans giving way to 80s themed neon boxers. Sharky wasn’t as sleepy as you assumed, however, when you heard him chuckle darkly.

“Mmm, Matchstick? What’re you doin’ down there, sweetheart?” he asked as an eyebrow raised at you.

“Oh, nothing. Don’t mind me, Shark.” You carefully took him out of his boxers and scooted closer to his crotch; your face pressed against the fabric directly underneath his cock. You gripped him around the base with one hand, head moving up to lick at the skin just above his balls. His dick lay across your face with the bright red tip drooling on your forehead.

Sharky grit his teeth in an attempt to hold back a moan. His hands threaded through your hair to keep you in place below him. “Matchstick, honey, are you sure? I mean, we’re in—” he cut himself off with a quiet gasp. “We’re in public!” Sharky whisper-yelled, glancing down at you. His hips pushed against your face, a silent plea for you to hurry up and take him in your mouth already.

“Like that’s ever stopped you before, Mr. I-masturbate-in-my-car Boshaw,” you said with a conniving grin.

He looked away from you in favor of pushing his cock against your face more urgently. “We ain’t talkin’ ‘bout that right now.”

“We ain’t talkin’ ‘bout that right now?”

“Shuddup and suck my cock, Firecracker, before I fuck you in public too.” Luckily, there wasn't any malice behind his threat. Sharky tugged on your hair, getting precum smeared across your face.

You got the idea of what he wanted, so your mouth opened and took almost half of his cock inside. Your cheeks hollowed out as you started to bob your head. Loud, sloppy noises came from under the table that riddled your chest with the thrilling anxiety of getting caught. Drool already started to peek out of the corners of your mouth, slick and shiny against the dark shadows cast from the hanging lights above you. Sharky’s hands were still stationed in your hair; blunt nails dug into your sensitive skin. He slowed you down to prevent the noises from becoming too noticeable to the staff still working. You pulled off for air and gazed up at him.

“How’s it s’far, Shark?”

He groaned and tugged on your hair, desperate for you to continue. “Fuck, it’s amazing, Matchstick. Now keep going.”

You nodded, your hand coming up to pump him before you wrapped your lips around him again. Your head bobbed faster this time, spit soaking your chin. Sharky’s cock throbbed and drooled precum against your tongue, giving away how close he was to orgasming. His hips began to thrust in time with the pace you set, meeting you in the middle every time. With each thrust, the head of his cock brushed against the back of your throat. It wasn’t hard enough to make you gag, but just enough to make you shiver. Sharky bit his lip to help keep himself quiet; eyes rolled back in his skull slightly. “Fuck— Cumming—!” he choked out, his voice as quiet as he could possibly make it. He forced your head down further on his cock as he came. Cum filled your mouth, your cheeks puffed up with the sheer amount of it.

As soon as Sharky let go of your hair, you pulled off his cock and took a big breath through your nose. You kept his cum in your mouth like a good girl as you shifted to sit back down on the carpeted floor, your knees bent and legs spread apart on either side.

Sharky’s hand ran through his sweat-dampened hair, his hat now sitting on the table, forgotten along with the food. “Oh fuck, Firecracker.” His chest heaved up and down as he caught his breath. Sharky’s free hand cupped your chin, tilting your head so he could gaze down at you easier. He saw your cheeks still full with his cum, causing a smirk to spread across his face. “Go on, Zippo, you can swallow now. Can’t be makin’ a mess by wasting it, can we?” he said, a small dribble of cum leaked from the corner of your mouth. Sharky rubbed it away and brought his thumb up to his mouth, licking his own cum off it.

You obeyed, eagerly swallowing all of his seed. You wiped off your mouth with the back of your hand, your lips pink and almost swollen. You leaned your head against his knee with a sweet smile on your face. “‘Course not, Shark. Can’t be wastin’ any of it. ‘Specially when it’s all mine.” After a few minutes, you slid out from under the table to sit next to Sharky, cuddled up to him. You kissed his cheek, right above where his goatee started, his smirk turning back into a smile.

Sharky wrapped his arm around your shoulders to keep you close. “Next time, I’ll have’ta fuck you in public.”

[hxnmantii]

Class 1-A and their car habits

tw: crack/fluff, cursing

People: Bakugo, Shoto, Izuku, Sero, Kiri, iida, Mina x mostly gn!reader (Mina is the only one that’s implied female!reader)

Ratings: PG

A/n: yuuhh get into💋 I personally would like to ride with Shoto. I just wanna hold his hand👉🏾👈🏾 but not on no simp shit. Originally, this was going to be just boys but who would I be if my gay self didn’t add the queen herself? Anyways, Who would you like to ride with?

Bakugo~

Bakugo does that sexy ass thing where he drives with one hand on the wheel and one hand on your thigh and when you don’t pay him enough attention he’ll lightly squeeze your thigh. This man does NOT share the aux....his stingy ass. He says he doesn’t wanna listen “to your trash music” but will play bxmb threat and NBA Youngboy at full capacity with the windows down. If you beg enough maybe he’ll play 1 Nicki song. But he will throw a fit and act like he doesn’t like Nicki even though he knows all of the lyrics. Altough he’s really uptight about his car, he enjoys driving and picking up the Bakusquad in it because he likes to feel useful and needed. No doubt about it, this man has road rage. He’s screaming outside the window and in the car about how someone cut him off and when someone screams back him, he’s like “Pull over right now cuz those sound like fighting words to me.” Now y’all in the back of a cop car and 30 minutes late to your dinner date. You are not, I repeat, you are NOT allowed to even think about eating in his car unless he’s got that plastic wrapping on his car. He treats his car so good (at some point you think he likes the care better than you) her name is Bethany. I-

Shoto~

Shoto has one hand on the wheel and one hand in your hand, stroking your hand from time to time and kissing the back of it. He had a sleek gray sliver car with a sunroom (he never actually uses) that goes fast and he likes going real fast because what they gon do, give him a ticket??? When his dad the number one hero??? Try again. He’s also the type to flick off the cops as he driving by because ACAB. He’s always wearing a gold Rolex and you got your nails done so when you hold his, the acrylics compliment his hand and watch.(like the pictures from Pinterest) You guys ride in comfortable silence. It’s so calming riding with him because although you’re slightly anxious with how fast he’s going, you’re at somewhat ease because he’s doing it so smoothly and you trust him. His windows are tinted because once again he’s the son of a pro hero and people are nosy, neither you or him like that. Although you don’t really need the assistance with Shoto being a living AC and heater in one, his seats have buttons for each seat and you can warm your bum. His car had the clean car smell...it just smells really clean. He’s got a bunch of condiments and napkins in his glove department. He doesn’t know where they came from. His whole vibe in his car is rich and elegant. He gets his car professional wash every Tuesday and you are required to come.

Kirishima

Kiri’s got a big ass red GMC truck and he gave the truck these monster wheels so it’s a force to be reckoned with. Her name is Sophie and like Bakugo, he loves her dearly but makes it clear to you that he’s love you more than her. He does the sexy ass thing where he’s got one hand on the wheel and one hand tightly holding on to your head rest so his arms flexing and he’s backing up with a concentrated look. that is so hot to me. He’s got a sticker on the back that says “honk if you’re manly” . He definitely would let you take the aux because you guys made a playlist of songs you chose together. He would be the type to start dancing when a good song came on, almost hitting someone in the process because he took both hands off the steering wheel out of excitement. He’s got road rage but not enough to actually start shouting or flicking someone off. In the trunk of Kirishima’s car, he’s got at least 5 different protein bottles as well a case of water and some jump rope. He says “You never know when I’ll need it to work out” but he has his personal gym?? Anyways, he has a specific section in his closet for red button ups because he likes to match Sophie when he drives her😭 I hate to say it but Kiri looks like a hill billy especially since he’s got those shoulder cut out button ups. He’s cute with it and he’s happy so you somewhat tolerate it

Midoriya

Izuku has more of a family car like a soccer mom car or a dark green Ford explore because he likes to pick everybody up to hang out and he needs space since he’s got a lot of them. Not to mention, he also likes to cruise and enjoy his time with you no matter where y’all go because we all know this man is a simppp. At every stop light, he’s gently grabbing your face and either kissing you on your cheek or forehead. He tried giving you a kiss on the lips once but he got so caught on the feeling that he ended up holding up the line and everybody was honking and made at him. He was so embarrassed that he now waits til you guys get to your destination to do all that extraness. Being the big fan he is, naturally he has some All might themed seatbelts and has all might stickers all over his steering wheel. He also has little all Might figurine on his dashboard that he prays to get him out of car trouble. Genuinely think it’s works too. Izuku in his trunk has a bunch of workout gear and gaze cuz he’s sexy like that. He does not have road rage at all....maybe a little. He might flick someone off but that’s as far as it goes. He definitely gives you the aux because he loves watching how lively you get it. (Y/n) “Do you know your Megan baby?”🥰 (ZuZu) “Y-yes?”

Iida

Now hear me out...Iida has a motorcycle. He’s got a need for speed that cars can’t really fufill because you can’t weave through other cars like a motorcycle can. His motorcycle has the highest tech on it naturally. It’s all black but has lights underneath it so he can change it by phone and ofc it’s always blue. You guys also have matching helmets that are Bluetooth so you’re able to talk to one another without having to yell very much. When you guise stop, he rubbing your arms to make sure that you’re okay and/if you need to pull over. Now when he’s not riding the motorcycle he’s got a Tesla. He preaches about the law and following the rules but when he get in the car, that’s a different story. With him you better either hold on tight to him or you better get double seat belt buckles for extra protection because he’s about to try and race the flash. (And you thought Shoto was bad) You get out thanking the universe for letting you touch ground again. Iida got the type of car that if you even breathe incorrectly around it, it’s going off and waking up the whole damn neighborhood. When iida first got his car, he read everything up on it so he would be fully able to use the car to its full potiential meaning that he’s got Siri set up, he can lock the door from his car, and watch the cameras on his house through the screen of his car. The Bluetooth is automatically connected to his phone so no you will not be getting the aux but you can play some tunes form his phone. He’ll even make you a playlist on Apple Music with his rich self.

Sero

Sero’s got a red convertible with tan seats and the weather allows it, his top is always down. His car always smells so good because he uses the wild cherry air freshener in his car. He blasts bad bunny and daddy Yankee as y���all are cruising slightly over the speed light. He also likes blasting Ski Mask. He’s the type to sing you the words while gently holding your face and singing to you with a lovey dovey smile on his face. He’s very respectful and turns down his music when entering neighborhoods because he doesn’t wanna mess with the vibes. You two have matching glasses that says queen/ king on yours and king on his. He definitely has some throw dice hanging from his mirror along with a picture of you and him taped to his dashboard cuz he’s also a simp. He’s always has a packet of Extra gum in his middle console along with warm water bottles. If police pulls him over, he definitely the type to start flirting with him so the officer just to make him uncomfortable enough to let him off with a warning. For a fact, he has the Puerto Rican flag on the antenna of his car. He has Led lights and likes them to be colorful rather than on one color. Sero definitely jogs around the front to open the door for you because he’s a jester and a gentleman in one. His part of his car is that the top can go down solely for the fact that the sun always highlights your skins so well.

Mina

Do I even need to say anything about the Pink queen herself?? She has a cute pink steering wheel case with matching pink seats and ofc she has a bedazzled stick shift. She has a Jeep. She the type of person to has matching glasses with her interior and when you get in the car, she’s putting her music on shuffle: a dangerous move because you go from Brent Faiyaz to Jhene Aiki to fucking Cardi B, Flo Mili, and etc. When you unbuckle your seat to start twerking in the seat, she’s automatically going to start hyping you up. She’s got one hand on the steering wheel and one hand on your ass smacking it as you fuck it up in the passenger seat. Y’all are literally swerving from side to side and let’s be honest here, Mina is not that good of a driver so you have almost gotten in an accident multiple times. She’s the type to pull over to take cute selfies or videos with you and post them all at once captioning it with “Late nights w/bae”. Underneath seat she an emergency packet filled with makeup, clothes, hair and first aid kit supplies. Although she’s not the best driver, she takes the rules really serious because she would hate to have an accident with you in the car. Like Sero, She has led lights in her car but they only flash pink. Mina is the queen of putting falsies on so she would mostly definitely put yours on (without tweezers) once you park as well as do your edges if you ask. She just has that talent. *chefs kiss* amazing

Reblogs are appreciated!

A/n: I’m lyin I definitely would be riding with Bakugo because I have major passenger rod rage lol and you definitely don’t wanna get your ass beat TWICE

[apparentlyaswarmofbees]

The Obey Me Brothers and Undatables vs An Insect/Arachnid Loving MC

I find it amazing how many people find it disturbing that I just love some insects and arachnids (not more than birds but still, insects can be both cute and cool even when they manage to terrify me so I can't help but love them lmao).

It's so cool how insects are actually the most dominant species in the world even before humanity existed and will most likely still be even after humanity ceases to exist, of course some of them actualy spread disease and such but it's not all of them and the mosquitoes that do spread it are females and they are just sucking your blood to feed their babies and the males like flowers over your blood, I actually don't like all spiders but I love tarantulas with all my heart although I can't say the same for wasps, they are evil but they can be so cool I have so many mixed feelings and cockroaches can be so adorable specially the forest/wild ones, have you ever seen them eat fruits??? They are so cute! And don't even get me started on how a d o r a b l e beetles are-

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Lucifer vs Ladybug

Taking strolls in the Castle's garden when you are accompaning Lucifer in his work are very common.

Just taking a fresh breath of the Devildom's air in between breaks with you by his side powers him up like crazy.

Now that being said, he doesn't really appreciate losing your attention to a little, colorful, bug crawling on one of the flowers in said garden.

"Lucifer, look! It's a ladybug! It's so different from the human world!"

That is true, ladybugs in hell were brighter in color and had a toxin in their bodies that- Oh wait

"Don't touch it!" Lucifer grabbed your hand in realization "haven't you learned anything about bright colors in nature? The toxin in their bodies can melt your skin off!"

He really didn't expect your eyes to get even more shiny.

"Ladybugs in Devildom are both bright and dangerous??!! I'm so jealous!"

With that, he became both exasperated and more in love with you.

Does this have a relation to the fact that you love him and his brothers even thought they are demons?

He is definetelly giving you a brooch in the shape of a ladybug later

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Mammon vs Cockroach

If you think this man didn't scream like a plate being scratched with a fork when he saw a cockroach in your bedroom, you are wrong.

I mean, okay, he was on the floor and the thing just decided to crawl up to his head out of nowhere.

He jumped over the table so fast it probably has beaten a world record.

"Aw! It's a baby cockroach!"

It's true, it was very small compared to adult ones, but Mammon didn't care.

"STOP FAWNIN' OVER THOSE CREATURES FOR ONCE AND KILL IT ALREADY!!"

And of course instead of killing it you just raise your eyebrown at him while scooping the thing up with a paper.

And of course you needed to bring it really close to him just to watch him squirm before you decide throw it out of your bedroom's window.

He definetelly will ask you to wash your hands before comforting him even if you didn't even touch the cockroach directly.

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Leviathan vs Dragonfly

You cannot tell me dragonflies in Devildom are actually very few and actually have the size of a small dragon.

It all happened on the day you and Levi got lost in the forest searching for a raven that stole his just purchased phone charm of a game that he was currently addicted to.

Both of you were looking for a way out when you heard an extremelly loud buzzing noise from somewhere in the woods.

Of course both of you followed the sound because first, you just know that must be one big ass insect since it sounded almost like a helicopter and you had to see it, and second, Levi suddenly forgot all about the charm (and being lost) and started rambling about how 'it couldn't be! Is it really-!'

And that is how you guys found his new Henry.

A giant, navy blue, shiny dragonfly, that was currently eating the Raven you and Levi were searching for.

Let's just say Levi got his charm back and both of you got a free ride to the House of Lamentation.

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Satan vs Spiders

Where there are old books, there are spider webs, and where there are spider webs, there's at least a 50% chance there are spiders in there.

So you can say Satan was quite familiar with the eight legged creatures, although he never really paid them much attention.

That is until he found they were of your interest.

You will never see someone start to give spider names, treat them with courtesy and have small talks with them faster than with this man.

Getting a book from the House of Lamentation's library and there's a web in the way along with a resident spider? "Excuse me, I will have to disturb you a little, I hope you don't mind a bit of damage to your home"

He is reading and suddenly sees a spider dangling down from a web string right besides him? He is definetelly letting it land on his hand just so that he can show it to you.

One day he even choses to read a book in his berdoom that a tiny spider was standing on. The sight of the tiny thing crawling around the pages as he reads it and explains some things out loud is so precious to see.

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Asmodeus vs Scorpions

Of course, what would suit the Lust Demon better than his own patron?

That is until you teach him that there are more than just one type of scorpion, and there is one type that has really big claws and a thinner tail that are usually pretty big in size.

Why would learning that be a bad thing, you ask? Instead of stinging its food, it actually grabs it like a crab.

So yes, the day Asmo held one and didn't use his charms, it pinched him.

Needless to say, it was chaotic.

Leaving the fact he is never approaching those kinds of scorpions ever again, he coos a lot at you while you coo at the small scorpions.

If you tell him the fact that they are his patron just makes you love him more, he will be so happy he will be squealing for the next 5 minutes.

He has definetelly taken a few dozens, of pictures for you while holding one or more scorpions.

His followers in the devilgram were surprised at how even while holding that thing, Asmo still looked amazing.

Scorpions definetelly became sensation in Devildom after that.

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Beelzebub vs Flies

Again, nothing better than his own patron.

If he didn't have to swat them off his food that is.

He has definetelly eaten some accidently.

"Look! I managed to make it crawl up to my finger without scaring it!" you say.

"That is cool. But you should probably wash your hand." He replies.

He's right, wash your hands if you ever grab onto flies.

He finds it really cute that you like insects, and it makes him tingly on the inside when he remembers that his symbolic creature is an insect itself.

Don't hold back on asking him to change into his demon form more often, he is very happy to do it.

He starts paying more attention to insects and flies in general after he finds out how much you love them.

How big their are, their color, where he saw them, what were they doing, if they tasted good.

And then he proceeds to tell you all about it.

He is very cute.

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Belphegor vs Butterflies

It's not that he attracts butterflies, no. But he actually likes them, finds them cool even.

Did you know some butterflies disguise as another type butterfly because that type is actually not very tasty to eat so the animals stay away from them?

And how many of them have patterns on their wings that look a lot like Owls and again, it makes animals stay away from them?

And the whole symbolism of life, death and rebirth around them? And the fact that the larvae eating everything around them reminds him a lot of Beel?

Belphie definetelly likes butterflies and you cannot tell me otherwise.

So when he finds out you love insects? Oh he is definetelly taking you to the best butterfly watching spot either in the Devildom or the Human World.

It's specially cute when he falls asleep and one lands on his face.

He definetelly had a minor heart attack when he woke up to the sight its wings but he will never admit it.

Also definetelly grabs it and puts it on you instead.

It's counterproductive as you end up looking too cute for him to handle.

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Solomon vs Beetles

I mean beetle fights.

You thought you liked insects, just wait until you see this man cheering on a beetle like an excited kid.

Also finds it hilarious when one just yeets the other away.

And because now you are there to feed more into his love for beetles, one day he casts a spell on two of them to make them big enough to ride and just showed up outside your window like:

"No time to explain, get in the beetle"

Because of safety measures, no, you guys didn't have a giant beetle fight.

But you did ride them around the Devildom forest at 2am.

You thought it would be an insane ride with lots of adventures

But you guys just ended up star gazing while laying on them.

He forgot to turn them back to their original size and they scared a few of the residents of Devildom.

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Simeon vs Mantis

Warning: it's a big goreish

When you introduced the praying mantis specifically to Simeon, he was immediatelly in awe.

And then you proceeded to show him how they can have many shapes and forms, be it as leafs, tree branches, and others.

And he was so intrigued!

But then you gave him the more, specific details.

Like how they can feast on their prey while they are still alive.

And how it actually can attack small birds such as humming birds, eating their brain tissue through their eyes.

And how the females practice a cannibalism ritual, feasting on their partners after mating.

That's when his writer self came to light.

What I mean is, he was now both horrified and extremelly inspired.

Simeon can be scary sometimes.

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Diavolo vs Ants

If you can find ants in every nook and crany around the world, you cannot tell me you can't find them in hell.

If they are able to travel the sea just by being taken along with baggage on accident, they have definetelly come to hell the same way, specially black crazy ants.

So honestly, I wouldn't find it surprising that Diavolo would have at least one big colony of ants he takes care of.

But he didn't have it until you pointed out why ants were awesome to him.

"They don't eat the leafs, they are farmers and what they eat is the other tiny creatures that decompose the leafs" "they can go to extreme lenghts to find their food and they have a real good teamwork, often they don't eat right away but instead bring the food back to the colony to feed the young" "Some ants that live in tropical weather that rains a lot, such as the amazon, can swim! And they do it together in big, ant, nests!"

Needless to say, he was intrigued.

Such tiny creatures are able to eat other insects much bigger than them? And they love sweets?

They actually like their homes clean and throw their trash into the very corner of their enclosure? Their bite can actually hurt a lot even to creatures gigantic copared to their size such as humans??

He had his own personal colony the very next day.

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Barbatos vs Bees

This man definetelly has his own share of appreciation for bees even before you told him you like insects.

They are very good helpers in the garden, their honey can be used on a extremelly big variety of both food and health products along with their wax, and honestly, they're just so fuzzy and cute.

If you want to get a rare laugh or chuckle out of him, make bee movie references.

He will just stop in his tracks and cover his mouth as he tries not to laugh.

You could almost make him spit his drink if you do it while he is drinking something.

And you can't tell me this man can't make bee related puns with a straight face. It's unbeeliveable

Aight, imma head out

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(This was basically an insect/arachnid appreciation post and I have no regrets)

[pillage-and-lute]

An Ever Fixed Mark (part 4)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 (here) Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10,

Read it on Ao3 HERE

A little bit of BAMF! Jaskier, a lot of emotionally constipated/self flagellating Geralt, some miscommunication, and a secret.

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Geralt awoke slowly. The anxiety and excitement of the wedding had taken its toll, and the comfortable bed had enveloped him nicely. There was also the warm, comfortable weight in his arms.

Jaskier.

It was Jaskier in his arms. The young man was curled up, still fast asleep, with his head tucked against Geralt’s chest. Geralt wondered who had gravitated to whom in the night. Had he vvmoved unconsciously hold Jaskier? Perhaps. Jaskier must have cuddled up to him too, though. There was no other way to explain the way Jaskier’s hand was curled, lightly, around Geralt’s medallion. Holding on to Geralt. On his other hand, the wedding ring glittered.

Used to assessing battle situations, this train of thought happened in thirty seconds or less. His processing was significantly sleep slowed, however, because he finally became aware of what had woken him.

There was a pounding on the door. The urgent pounding of someone who desperately wanted to speak with the occupants but didn’t want to make others aware.

Without other options Geralt gently extricated himself from Jaskier, accidentally waking the young man in the process, pulled on the pants from the day before, and crossed to the door.

It was Eskel.

“What?”

“It’s almost ten in the morning,” Eskel said. “Vesemir wants us to leave really soon. Um, check if Jaskier has people he wants to say goodbye to.”

“Our things,” Geralt began.

Eskel waved a dismissive hand. “Vesemir had them packed up last night, but he really wants us to leave and he won’t tell us why.”

Geralt shrugged, reassured his brother, and closed the door.

Jaskier was sitting up in bed, his undershirt, a large, flowy thing, had slipped off one shoulder. Geralt’s stomach lurched, rolled, and finally curled up. Somehow it wasn’t in an unpleasant way, though. The skin was pale gold in the torchlight. It brought thoughts of sinking his teeth into all that glowing skin, gripping as he folded his body over Jaskier’s and...

Geralt dunked his head in the washbasin.

“Is that an okay temperature,” Jaskier said, slipping on his wedding attire from the day before. “I think it was warmed up for us last night but it’s probably pretty cold by now.”

It was doing exactly what Geralt needed it to, so he just grunted.

“I don’t have anyone I need to say goodbye to,” Jaskier said as Geralt wiped water from his eyes. “We can leave whenever.”Geralt nodded and pulled on his wedding doublet. Jaskier, all in white and pearls still looked like some sort of angel. He took Jaskier’s hand, and they left.

It was Jaskier’s guidance, of course, that brought them back to the rooms that had been for the witchers, and Vesemir was outside the door already.

“Was worried you two would linger,” he griped, but it was good-natured.

“Yeah honeymooners, how’s married life feel?,” Lambert smirked. He had packs over his shoulder, so did Eskel, and Vesemir. Eskel offered Geralt his pack and swords. Geralt shouldered them and took a much nicer pack from Lambert, obviously Jaskier’s. Vesemir picked up a lute from where it had been leant against the wall and Jaskier took it gratefully, a hint of a smile touching his round cheeks.

Then the odd little party left.

After all the anxiety and waiting and intrigue and the wedding itself, just walking down to the stables as an little group felt strange. No one stopped them, though. 

The witcher’s horses had been cared for, but were otherwise untouched. There was a fifth, a black and white stallion, big but not a battlehorse by any means. Jaskier reached forward and kissed it’s muzzle. The horse responded by huffing in the way horses do and tossing his mane.

They mounted up and were off before the bell in the town center tolled eleven. It just didn’t feel real.

“We’ll ride with you to Egerbak,” Vesemir said, naming a town a day’s ride from Chateau Lettenhove. “From there we’ll go our separate ways, not good for witchers to be all in one group.”

“Why?” Jaskier said, looking puzzled. “Wouldn’t it make fighting monsters easier?”

“Sometimes,” Eskel said, “But if the terrain is rough you can get in one another’s way.”

“Get paid less too, the locals think it’s easy and give up less coin,” Lambert said, a little sourly.

“Most jobs need just one witcher,” Geralt said, unsticking his tongue from the roof of his mouth. “And villagers get edgy if there’s more than that, they fear an attack.” He didn’t mention why. Surely Jaskier knew the reason he was called Butcher. “But there isn’t many of us left, either. We four are all of the wolf school. If there were people who wished us harm, having us all in one place could exterminate our school.”

“That’s horrible,” Jaskier said, blue eyes wide. The color was muted today, Geralt noticed. The sky was overcast and his eyes seemed to reflect the blue-grey light that filtered down.

“Do you think we’re in danger now?” the young man said.

“Depends, do you think your father would send people after you? To kill you I mean.” Vesemir didn’t even raise the question gently.

Jaskier sat, moving steadily astrid his horse, looking straight ahead. After a long moment with just the sound of five sets of hooves he said quietly, “I think maybe we should move a little faster.” He nudged his horse into a canter and fingered his lute strap nervously.

Without further instruction, the witchers formed up. Eskel, keen with magic and with the same good senses of any witcher, rode in front. Lambert, with his predilection for blowing things up from a distance, rode behind. Geralt and Vesemir rode along in the middle, Jaskier between them. He was probably the safest man for a hundred miles.

“You really think he might try something?” Geralt asked quietly. He knew speaking softly wasn’t the same as being tactful, but it was about the best he had.

Jaskier nodded. “It makes sense. If his goal is to start war with the witchers. To say you mistreated me and voided the contract, that’s one thing. But it makes a better story to feed to people if his beloved son is killed the day after the wedding.”

“I just don’t get it,” Geralt said, frustratedly. “Why does he want a war with witchers? I understand he doesn’t want you to be his successor, but he could just disown you, couldn’t he?”

“I was thinking about that,” said Jaskier. “It would look bad if he did, but he could. I think he wants a war with witchers because he wants a war with other countries. Any place that didn’t immediately turn against witchers-- all witchers, not just your school--well, he could declare them an enemy of Lettenhove, which is a big province. That makes it an enemy of Kerack and then Kerack goes to war with anywhere that decides they need someone to fight their monster problem.”

“That’s...” Geralt said.

“Despicable?”

“Well, yes, but I mean, it’s a lot to comprehend,” Geralt said. He felt a little at sea. This wasn’t his job, all this, this politics. He was a witcher. Find monster, swing sword, kill monster, get coin. That was what he did. Alliances and assasination and wars and marriage, they weren’t supposed to factor in.

“Yeah.” Jaskier said. 

They rode on, safe inside the wolf school’s formation. After perhaps a quarter of an hour Jaskier slung his lute around and began to pick at it idly. It had a case, but he’d tied that onto his big stallion instead. Apparently he liked having it available.

“Why does he want a war?” Geralt asked after a little longer. “What does your father get out of it?” 

Jaskier stopped plucking. “It’s part of the earl thing, in his case the position has a lot to do with finances and the kingdom’s treasury. Wars mean finances are more important, which makes him more important, and he get’s more power.”

“All of this is just a power grab?” Geralt said. “That’s daft.”

“That’s politics,” Jaskier said, a tad tiredly. “He probably thinks he could be made a duke. And yes, daft is a good word for it all.”

After that they just rode, stopping only briefly for lunch and to rest the horses. Jaskier played his lute quietly, most of the journey. At one point he pulled a notebook and charcoal stick from his bag to jot things down and muttered as he played.

Geralt had no idea if the lad’s music was impressive, but he was impressed with how he sat a horse, multitasking as if he was part centaur. He did most emphatically not think about how nice Jaskier’s thighs looked in the clothes he’d changed into at their lunch stop.

The wedding attire was very fine, but Jaskier looked somehow...right in the clothes he wore now. Blue trousers of fine but durable material and a white chemise under a blue doublet. He’d asked if he should wear the basilisk leather, but Geralt had shook his head. It was a fine spring day and basilisk leather kept heat like a fur coat, he didn’t want to cook his husband before they’d been married a whole day.

And wasn’t that a thought that clanked about in Geralt’s head. Husband. Husband husband husband husband husband. They were married and Geralt had a husband. Who was nobility. And Geralt was his husband.

And Geralt kind of wanted to kiss his husband.

That was his problem, however, not Jaskier’s. Whatever the damn ‘implied hidden fidelity clause’ said, Jaskier was free to sleep with whomever he chose. Why would any young man, in the position to choose, pick a scarred witcher, the Butcher of Blaviken? Who could choose Geralt?

Geralt suddenly felt very bitter, for himself and on Jaskier’s behalf. Neither of them had asked for this, and the witchers weren’t even going to get anything from it. Now he had a husband, a semi-disgraced noble, who apparently had musical talents. Bardic? Geralt didn’t know but it seemed...right. 

Regardless, he needed a place to drop Jaskier off. Somewhere safe. It couldn’t be claimed he mistreated the man if they weren’t together. That way, Jaskier couldn’t...

Couldn’t what? 

Geralt had never before actually contemplated all the ways a normal human could be hurt on the Path. Witchers, sure, he knew about that but humans were delicate. Geralt had been told once that you shouldn’t just eat rabbit because it...it did something and you would get sick. Or maybe starve? Because the meat was wrong somehow. Too lean? Not lean enough?

It didn’t matter because he wasn’t a human. He remembered a dreadful three weeks when coin had been lean eating just rabbit and he’d been fine. Jaskier might not be. Geralt hardly earned enough coin for himself how was he supposed to feed and protect them both. 

Not to mention things like sleeping rough and rainstorms and all the little pitfalls of traveling.

It had seemed fine in theory before. Jaskier would have his basilisk leather and would stay at camp but now reality was setting in. 

Tired from the road, the whole group spoke little as they set up camp. Geralt pitched the tent that he would share with Jaskier then set up the fire while his brothers put up their own tents and Vesemirs. Vesemir went hunting.

Geralt was almost eighty five years old, and had been hunting for most of those years, but not one of the younger wolves could match Vesemir’s skill. 

Dinner was stew, with meat courtesy of Vesemir. Dessert was no talking at all. This wasn’t unusual at all for the wolves, but Jaskier was looking around nervously. 

“You’re safe,” Geralt said. “It’s fine.”

“Okay,” Jaskier said. It seemed odd, because he’d been so vibrant and chatty back at Chateau Lettenhove.

“Pass me your dish,” Geralt said. Wordlessly, Jaskier handed him the shallow bowl. Geralt scraped it onto the grass.

“I’m sorry about the whole...assassin thing and, and everything,” Jaskier said after another silent minute.

“Hmm,” Geralt said.

The overast sky finally gave way to the rain that had been threatening all day and with a sigh the witchers each turned in for the night. Jaskier crawled into the tent after Geralt and settled down onto one of the bedrolls.

Geralt went about his nightly routine as if nothing was different, untying his hair and stripping himself his clothes. He felt oddly flattered when Jaskier let out a tiny gasp as he divested himself of his smallclothes. A glance showed him the young man, wide eyed in the dim light, kneeling on his bedroll. 

The tent smelled of lust.

Geralt pulled on the well-worn loose trousers he preferred and nudged Jaskier’s pack at him. The boy took the hint and rummaged in it, pulling out similarly loose sleep pants and changing quickly. Geralt looked away for decency’s sake. They may be married but that was no reason to take liberties. Unfortunately, Jaskier was wearing another loose chemise to bed, and Geralt’s thoughts dragged back to the tantalizing view of shoulder from that morning. 

“Wrap up tight,” he grunted, annoyed at himself for even thinking of that. “If the temperature drops in the night I don’t want to have to deal with you getting sick.”

The lust smell, which had waned somewhat, was entirely gone, replaced with a scent Geralt had smelled on Jaskier before. 

“Okay,” Jaskier said quietly, and tucked himself obediently into his bedroll.

Jaskier smelled sad. Like he had the night before.

Geralt rolled into his own bedroll and cursed himself. Of course the boy was sad. Dragged onto the Path with a husband more monster than man. Boyish hormones made him horny, not any desire for something like Geralt. And he was a boy. Nineteen was legally an adult but it was like...what was the phrase Vesemir had used? De jure is not de facto. Legallity is not truth. 

Geralt listened to Jaskier’s breathing and thought about their ages. Eighty years for a witcher was still considered a mere stripling youth when considered in the course of a witcher lifespan. For Jaskier, though, he would live to be eighty only if he was lucky. On a witcher’s Path he almost certainly wouldn’t be. 

Jaskier’s breathing hadn’t slowed into the deep, even pattern of sleep. Geralt wondered what was keeping him awake. Then again, if he was sleeping beside a monster, he’s lie awake too.

It seemed as though neither of them would ever sleep, both of them laying, inches between them, on their separate bedrolls. Then, between one blink and the next, Geralt must have slipped into sleep.

He awoke to a damp world. It had rained through the night and the rain was still drizzling against the tent when he opened his eyes. The humidity and the little moisture that seeped through the cloth of the tent had built up and everything felt sticky and muggy. 

Although every item of clothing in his pack had been put in dry, almost nothing felt entirely dry as he struggled into proper clothes. Jaskier woke too, blinking his eyes open muzzily and wrinkling his nose at the damp feeling. He also dressed in silence, frowning as he pulled on his clothes. 

There was no dry firewood for a fire and Eskel, gifted though he was with magic, couldn’t make a fire last on soaked wood. The group ate cold rations. Jaskier tried to start up a conversation with Eskel about literature. 

Geralt smiled inwardly, but let none of it show on his face, lest Jaskier think he was mocking him. Eskel, despite the best efforts of everything the wolf school could do, was so far from being a morning person as to be out the other side. He could stay up all night, but wasn’t conversational until nearly noon.

Jaskier looked disheartened, though. Geralt wasn’t a substitute for literary conversation, so he just packed up Jaskier’s horse for him. For some reason, Jaskier frowned at that, but then nodded at Geralt and they all mounted up. 

It was an hour’s ride to Egerbak, where the witchers would part. From there, Geralt thought, mapping the journey in his head, he and Jaskier could turn for Oxenfurt. The journey would be almost a month, and Geralt would have to hunt along the way to earn coin, but Jaskier would be safe there.

While Geralt was musing, Jaskier was trying to strike up a conversation with Vesemir. The old wolf was more of a morning person than Eskel, but not a conversationalist, so Jaskier eventually shrugged a little sadly and pulled out his lute. 

He plucked a tune, editing it again and again until he seemed satisfied. It was catchy, an earworm Geralt was sure would never leave his head. Then Jaskier began to hum.

Geralt himself was very nearly tone deaf, and frankly didn’t like music in most cases, but Jaskier’s voice sounded okay. It was only humming, anyway. 

Geralt’s ears pricked and he saw the shoulders of Eskel, riding point, tense up too. He knew all the witchers had heard the noise. Hoofbeats were approaching fast. Geralt craned in his saddle to see the rider, but could make out little between the rain, which had graduated from drizzle to downpour. 

Vesemir coughed, flexing his hand on the reigns, opening his fist then closing it again. The witchers drew together, closing their formation. To the rider it would likely look as if they merely were drawing towards one another to give him room. It worked to do that, for sure, but it was also a defensive maneuver, trained into them and beaten into their memory. Witchers rarely fought alongside eachother, but when they had to they were prepared. Closing ranks also had the benefit of enclosing Jaskier, like a hand wrapping around a precious stone. 

Geralt’s steel sword had been tied at his hip, and his silver along with the saddlebags. It made him look less threatening, more like a knight errant than someone ready to battle at any time. In truth, the change from being slung at his shoulders was practical. In combat he could draw the sword from his hip and be prepared, rather than having to reach up to draw his weapons. It left him less exposed on horseback. He reached down to his hip and, in a smooth and almost impercepitble motion, flicked the tie open on the sheath of his sword, loosening its hold to make the sword easier to draw. He turned the movement into a casual stroke of Roach’s flank. 

The rider pulled up alongside. “Sir witcher,” he panted, “I must speak with Master Julian.”

Geralt glanced at Jaskier but the boy looked...different. He was sitting his horse more stiffly and looked more haughty and aristocratic than Geralt had ever seen him. Nothing of his clothing had changed, and he was in poor garb compared to the silken doublets he had worn before, but in a second his posture had turned him into the spitting image of his father. 

“Speak, man,” Jaskier said, waving one hand dismissively. 

“You left without your dowry.”

“Dowry,” Jaskier said coldly. 

Geralt felt cold for a different reason. He’d seen a ring on the hand of the rider, the left hand’s index finger. It was large, with a heavy stone. He was a slim young man in the dress of a footman, but something in his build said otherwise. This was an assasin, Geralt would bet his medallion, and the ring held poison, or something equally nasty. 

“I have no need of a dowry,” Jaskier was saying, passing straight through haughty and going for enigmatic without bother to slow down. 

“Your father insisted,” said the assassin, sidling his horse closer. Geralt nudged Roach and she deftly stepped in the way. 

“My father can take back his coin,” Jaskier said, even as the man offered a bag, slightly open to show gold coins. “I am no maiden, and my marriage shall produce no heirs.”

“But--”

“Don’t speak over your betters,” Jaskier said, every words ringing like steel. “A dowry is to set up a household. Well my household, such as it is,” here Jaskier gestured about him. “Is set up. Traditionally, if the wife dies without producing a male heir to the marriage the dowry is returned. I shall produce no heirs, so I’m returning the dowry preemptively.”

The assasin looked truly stumped. “I must give this to you,” he said, reaching forward, across Roach’s rump to hand the bag to Jaskier. Geralt saw the man’s thumb hover over the poison ring, as if about to flick open the compartment. 

“No,” Jaskier said.

“At least dismount so that we can discuss this,” pleaded the rider. 

Geralt looked about them. They’d been riding through woodland all day, but it was dense here, just the place one might lie in wait. Then he saw it, the thing he’d been waiting for since they’d left Lettenhove. A glint of light off of metal in the underbrush. Vesemir caught his eye, he’d seen it too. 

“Melitele help us!” Jaskier cried. “There’s bandits in the woods!”

Geralt saw anger and annoyance flash onto the face of the assassin. “No bandits in these woods my lord, I’m sure,” he said smoothly.”

Geralt knew the plan in that instant. Jaskier would be found dead on the roadside, the rider would stagger back into Lettenhove, or perhaps onward into Egerbak and tell how the witchers had cruelly murdered Jaskier and made off with the dowry, leaving him for dead. These hiddent troops were presumably to subdue the witchers while Jaskier was murdered. 

Finally, Geralt drew his sword.

Damn. If they killed the Earl’s men that would also look bad. 

Jaskier, switching from enigmatic to foppishly distressed. “You simply must turn back,” he was saying to the assassin. “It’s quite alright, I have all these big, strong witchers to protect me, and before I left lettenhove I sent a xenovox message to a mage in Temeria, a friend of mine. I have a powerful protection on me.”

“You do,” the assassin said, edging his horse back a step. Protection spells tended to get messy in a guts and gore way for those who crossed them.

“Oh yes, and my darling husband, isn’t that right, dear heart?” Jaskier said, giving Geralt doe eyes. Geralt blinked.

“Uh, yes, Triss Merigold,” Geralt said, thanking his lucky stars, which most of the time had utterly failed to be lucky for him, that he actually knew a mage in Temeria.

“Merigold,” the would-be assassin said. “The name rings a bell, I’ll just,” and he rode off, back towards Lettenhove. 

Jaskier spurred his horse. “Let’s get out of this rabbit snare,” he muttered. The witchers rode double-time to clearer ground.

“Well,” Vesemir said, once they were well and truly clear. “Quick thinking, lad, and some of the most pretentious acting I’ve ever seen.”

Jaskier bowed in his saddle, smiling like a moonbeam. “Thank you, although I’m just glad Geralt had a real name to back me up.”

“Should do,” Lambert snorted as they rode past the first few buildings of Egenbak. “She practically sewed his guts back into his body after a Striga--”

“Shut up,” Geralt growled, but it was too late. Even in the rain, Jaskier’s eyes were sparkling. 

Greed, Geralt reflected, and indeed, lust, came in many varieties. Jaskier’s father may covet money and power, but the mere mention of a story had Jaskier coveting it just as viciously. What could be so boring, so lacking in a wealthy young man’s life, Geralt wondered, that he was so starved for adventure?

They bid their goodbyes to the other witchers, Jaskier surprising them each with a hug. Vesemir huffed, but Geralt caught the slight upward twitch of his moustache. 

“Fair roads,” Jaskier said, waving to them all. Geralt waved too, and then his brother’s and Vesemir rode away. 

So did Jaskier and Geralt, but it hadn’t been three minutes when Jaskier asked, “Striga?”

“Mmmhm.” 

“What is a striga?” Jaskier pressed.

“Monster.”

Jaskier huffed. “What sort,” he said, with a bit of a whine. “How is one born...made? What does it look like? What does it do? Why have I never heard of one before?”

“Made by magic. Looks ugly. Does messy awful killings. They’re rare.”

“Please, Geralt, tell me the story?” 

Geralt didn’t look over at him. Wasn’t going to. If he caught a glimpse of that face and those eyes pleading he’d give in.

“The rode is going to be awfully boring, Geralt, a story would really help,” Jaskier said, still begging.

“Just focus on riding,”Geralt growled. “I don’t want to have to deal with you if you fall off your horse.” Then he urged Roach on ahead. 

It was indeed a very long and boring ride. After a while Jaskier pulled out his lute and began to play.

“Toss a coin,” he sang quietly, then he changed the cord and tried it again, a little higher. “Toss a coin to your witcher.”

“Don’t make up songs about me,” Geralt growled.

“Short of you telling me stories I have to make things up,” Jaskier said. “I know nothing about you.”

“So you write me a song?”

“I think you deserve one,” Jaskier said, as if his very believing it made it fact. 

Geralt urged his horse on ahead. 

“Come on,” Jaskier said, nudging his horse faster too. “My singing can’t be that bad, can it?” he asket.d lightly.

“Yes,” Geralt growled. “It can.”

They rode the rest of the day without speaking. Jaskier plucked sullenly at his lute. 

Geralt was angry, and worse, he didn’t really have any right to be angry. He knew he’d messed up. Day two of marriage and he’d fucked up spectacularly. He was bad at this, and he was angry at himself. Somehow, though, he felt angry at Jaskier too. What was Geralt supposed to do? Answer every childish question? Tell stories? Discuss literature like Eskel could? Like probably all of Jaskier’s high class friends at Oxenfurt and Lettenhove could?

He was a witcher. Witcher meant solitary. It meant silence. It did not mean infernal music and being pestered about a story like a nanny.

He was being an asshole and he knew it, but damnit, he’d been an asshole so long he wasn’t about to stop all at once. It was practically baked in at this point. Being angry was better than trying to be kind an failing. Silence was easier than speaking.

Jaskier drooped in his saddle though, and Geralt felt like a cad.

They stopped for lunch at the side of the road, eating soggy rations and not talking to one another. They were both soaked to the skin, despite heavy cloaks, which were too hot in this late spring storm. Jaskier dripped miserably and carefully wiped down his lute, putting it reverentially in its case.. Up until that point the instrument had been mostly safe from rain, cradled against his body under the cloak. He’d clearly come to the same conclusion that Geralt had, however, that if the instrument stayed out any longer, cloak cover or no, it would get truly wet. 

“Raining cats and dogs,” Jaskier said, tentatively. It had the same feeling as a man dipping his toe into water to see how cold it was. 

“Hmmm.” Geralt said, neutrally.

Apparently seeing this not outright aggression as an invitation, Jaskier, metaphorically, jumped into the pond. 

“See, I think that saying is really rather silly,” he said. “Not only because it, obviously, doesn’t rain animals, but really, cats don’t even like water.”

He continued chattering as they remounted and rode on.

“Dogs do like water of course, well, some, but so few like rainstorms, especially thunder. I wonder why we have that saying then.”

His mind seemed to skip back and forth between subjects like a grasshopper. 

“I understand why dogs don’t like thunder, of course, and I don’t care for lightning much myself, but the thunder must be so loud with their sensitive hearing.”

He paused for a split second and Geralt wondered if blissful silence would return but then,

“I imagine thunder must be dreadful with your hearing, right?”

“Hmmm,” Geralt said. Shut up, he thought.

“Oh that’s awful,” Jaskier said. “Do you think it will thunder tonight? I hope not. If it does - or perhaps even if it doesn’t - I think we ought to get a room in an inn tonight. Give our clothes a chance to dry.”

Melitele’s tits. Geralt couldn’t believe one man could talk so much. It was almost like nervous chatter but it grated on his already fraying nerves.

“An inn would be perfect don’t you think? And I could play there. I’m a bard you know. Now I know what you’re thinking, ‘you’re a Viscount, Jaskier,’ and that’s true, although I suppose not anymore, technically from the moment I said ‘I do’ that honor was passed to my half-brother but, I’m a bard as well.”

“Shut up.”

“What?” Jaskier said.

Geralt pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling as he did so cold water drip from his hood onto his face. “For the love of all that is good just shut up,” he growled. 

“Maybe if you said something back occasionally it wouldn’t be so one sided,” Jaskier said sniffily.

“Maybe if you had any brains in that empty head of yours you’d have something worth while to talk about.”

“I have brains,” Jaskier said, affronted.

“Clearly not enough to know when to shut up,” Geralt sniped back. “I don’t want to have to deal with your incessant chatter all the way to Oxenfurt.”

Jaskier stopped his horse and dismounted, in the middle of the road, in the pouring rain. 

“Get back on your horse, have you lost your mind?” Geralt said, but he reigned Roach in.

“Oxenfurt?” Jaskier said, quietly. His voice held no emotion and Geralt felt suddenly that he had really fucked up this time. He dismounted.

“Yes,” he said. “You have friends there, I thought it would be a nice place to go.” He wasn’t sure why he didn’t tell Jaskier that he intended to leave him there, but he felt that, at this time, that wouldn’t go over well.

Jaskier’s face softened. “You thought it would be nice,” he said. “For me to go back there.”

Geralt shrugged. “One destination is as good as the other on my Path, often I just wander.”

Jaskier smiled softly and remounted. “Okay then,” he said. “To Oxenfurt.” He chuckled. “I’m sorry, I suppose dismounting was dramatic, I guess I thought you were taking me somewhere to get rid of me.”

It was like having ice shoved into Geralt’s spine as he mounted Roach again. “I wouldn’t get rid of you,” he said lowly.

“Oh, not ‘get rid of’, like that stupid assassin. I meant...discard, abandon, leave, wash one’s hands of, cast aside.”

They rode on, Jaskier chattered, but less. Geralt didn’t say a single word.

They didn’t make it to a town with an inn that night so they made camp in a soaked clearing again. Guilt ate Geralt as he was eating cold rations and chased him into their tent. He lie awake feeling heavy with it as he heard Jaskier’s breathing drop off.

Jaskier wouldn’t like being left at Oxenfurt, but it would be for his own good, Geralt thought. He didn’t have to tell him right now, anyway. That was a discussion that could wait until Oxenfurt. 

Geralt’s guilt didn’t lift completely, but it eased enough that he slipped into meditation.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I’m still pretty sick with mono, so this took me ages to manage, but its here at last! So psyched to write the next part too.

Tag List!

@llamasdumpsterfire @stinastar @aziz-the-fangirl @mordoriscalling @bastardofmothman @negativenuggetz @morte-mistrata @ailorian @hayleynzlive @filledepluie @bygodstillam @sociowithatardisachevyandawand @faery-god @honeysuckletook @theflurtifly @saibowtie @werevampiwolf @frywen-babbles @the-kewlest @innocentbi-stander @1stbonesfan @aqueenrisesintheeast @toothhurtyam @marauders-fan-account @ineffable-lasagna @limevodka @rocknrollphanda @seralyra @permanently-exhausted-witcher @aj-itated @watchthewolvesfall @00qtee @the-blondey @birds-of-forgiveness @west-moor @abstractartwithoutpaint @darkonesdagger7437 @onwardsandfourwords @underwaterattribute @whenrainbowsend @goldbvtton @little-piece-of-tamlin @in-love-with-writing002 @flustratedcas @fontegagrilledcheese @so--many-fandoms @kirk-spock-in-the-impala @oniongrass @flowercrown-bard @maya-the-yellow-bee @thecomfortofoldstorries @wellthisstinks @thenameislion-dandelion @flowercrown-bard @obsessedchildsworld @debellatis @zotinha456 @tumbleweedtech @goblin-loves-shiny-things @birdsflyhome @holymotherwolf @the-shenny-of-azkaban @darkangel91939 @enkelikauneus @saphiramalbec                  @silvermirror1997 

[luminois]

･:*✧ 𝗷𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻;

𝗳𝗼𝗿 @blueprint-han 𝗮𝘀 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗲𝗱 💌

𝘄: 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝘀𝘂𝗴𝗴𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝗮𝗴𝗲, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝘀𝗲𝘅 𝗶𝘀 𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝘄𝗶𝗰𝗲.

𝟭𝟰𝟴𝟰 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀, 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗻𝗲𝘂𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗹.

“i want nurse innie!”

you watch the little girl’s chubby face turn red as tears start sliding down her cheeks, and you feel hopeless. she looks so small in the hospital bed, the sight disheartening despite the colorful toys and gifts her loved ones have surrounded her space with. she’s exhausted and distressed, and you’re afraid the other little patients in the room are going to get upset as well.

this is your third night shift of the week, you’re tired and your scrubs are starting to feel dirty and itchy. you’re about three minutes away from curling down on the floor and joining the little girl as she sobs her fragile heart out. however, you force yourself to smile at her reassuringly.

“i’m sorry sarang, nurse innie isn’t here right now,” you say, your tone gentle. “is it alright if i help you instead? i promise nurse innie is going to come to you as soon as possible.”

her sobs turn into soft sniffles for a couple seconds, as if she was weighing your words and deciding if she should accept your offer or not. to your chagrin she shakes her head, her curls bouncing around as she starts weeping again.

you hush sarang softly, and when it doesn’t seem to work you call over another nurse to watch over the little girl. there’s only one thing you can do.

you walk out of the room so fast you’re almost running, careful of the people around you as you reach the duty roster at the end of the hallway. your eyes check the board quickly, and you let out a relieved sigh. jeongin should clock in half an hour, and there’s only one place he could be at the moment.

the section of the hospital reserved to the medical personnel is quiet, as the only people who weren’t working were sleeping, trying to gather a couple hours of rest before wearing their scrubs again. with 28 hours of wakefulness on your shoulders, your body is aching for a soft mattress and your eyes are begging for some rest, but you ignore your screaming muscles and push the changing room’s door open. you’re met with the broad expanse of jeongin’s back and shoulders, and you realize you should’ve knocked before coming in.

it hadn’t taken you long to develop a crush on the new male nurse who had joined the hospital a couple months prior. not only jeongin had an unbelievably handsome face and the most charming smile, he was also funny, amazing with children and passionate about his job, and that was all kind of sexy. the natural consequence of getting coffee at 5 a.m. after a particularly harsh shift had been going out for drinks late at night. and the natural consequence of “stopping by” at jeongin’s place after going out for drinks had been getting tangled in his bedsheets after passionately making out against his front door.

he’d made you breakfast in the morning and insisted on driving you to the hospital despite it being his free day, and you were sold. the sex had been mind blowing, and so it had been all the other times after that first night. he cared for your needs before even thinking about his own pleasure, and with every encounter he just got better and better at making you feel good as he started to know your body like the back of his hand.

you two weren’t dating, not yet. you’d gone on dates, some of which hadn’t even ended in the bedroom. at first you’d been afraid all jeongin wanted was some fun, but he’d proved you wrong times and times again. but, despite being on the verge of becoming a real couple, the lack of an official label hadn’t been enough to stop your desire for one another. his kitchen, your bathtub, both of your beds, this same changing room, they all had something in common. all of those places had been witnesses of the unstoppable passion that pulled you and jeongin towards each other, no matter how much you tried to resist against it.

you spot the red tracks your nails had scratched on jeongin’s back that same day and you hold the door’s frame so tight your knuckles turn white. this isn’t the time to get carried away, it really isn’t, but your brain doesn’t seem to remember why you came here in the first place.

“honey, at least close the door if you want to look at me while i change,” jeongin says, flashing you a smile over his shoulder, “this show isn’t for anyone but you.”

you comply quickly, knowing that you would seriously get jealous if anybody else were to see him like this.

“ever thought of becoming a stripper? you’d be a natural,” you play along, a smile growing on your lips as you lean against the closed door.

he laughs, finally putting his shirt on. “but i would only accept you as my client, that wouldn’t be good for the business.”

it’s your turn to laugh, and by the time jeongin has reached you, his arms hugging your waist right away, it has simmered down to a comfortable smile. you place your head on his shoulder, and you could fall asleep right there.

“hey,” he says quietly, resting his cheek against your hair. “you’re tired, mhh?”

you nod, your eyes fluttering closed as jeongin kisses your temple ever so softly. “my shift ends in an hour, i can make it.”

“you should rest, honey, i can clock in early and cover for you. how does that sound?”

his lips move down to your cheek and you want to accept, professionalism be damned. but you shake your head and stand up straight, sleepy eyes locking with jeongin’s enamored ones.

“i just have a couple check ups left to do, i’ll be alright.”

jeongin nods and his eyes move down to your lips. you know what that look means and you want to tell him he really shouldn’t do it but then he’s kissing you and you don’t have the willpower to stop him. your hands get tangled in his hair on their own accord, the traitors. his lips are slow on yours but they still make your knees buckle, his hands pulling you closer until your bodies are touching everywhere.

“jeongin,” you sigh as he moves to kiss and suck on your neck, his hands subtly sneaking under your shirt. they’re cold and the contact with your warm skin makes you whimper.

he hums to let you know he’s listening. he’s found that spot behind your ear that he knows drives you crazy, and a couple seconds pass until your brain focuses enough to let out some coherent words.

“baby, we can’t right now.”

“why not?” he asks, and you giggle at the puppy eyes he gives you. he’s the only one who could look that adorable while asking for sex.

you already knew that, but it’s moments like this when you realize just how in love with him you are. and just like that you remember the reason why you came searching for him before you got distracted by the intoxicating feeling being with him gives you.

“sarang won’t let anyone help her but you, she hasn’t stopped crying since she woke up.”

jeongin’s expression grows concerned and he nods quickly, kissing you one last time before you both get out of the room. you’ll be back in each other’s arms once your little patients will be taken care of.

sarang’s eyes light up as soon as they land on jeongin and her tears stop falling almost instantly, as if his mere presence was enough to make her feel better.

“why is princess sarang crying?” he coos, and a toothy smile replaces the little girl’s pout.

while you visit the other children in the room your eyes can’t help but fall on jeongin from time to time. he manages to visit sarang without making her nervous, playing with her and making her laugh like nobody else can, and she’s not the only kid in the hospital who relies on him like that. you’ve gone to toys stores to buy teddy bears with him more than once, because he gifts them to the kids to make them feel less lonely while their parents aren’t there. and you’ve caught him reading stories and singing lullabies to help them sleep once too many times, the sight of the little patients curled up against him after struggling to sleep so endearing it makes your heart skip a beat every time.

despite the attraction and all the excitement being with jeongin brings you, you know this is the reason you’ve fallen for him so hard so fast. he cares for others like nobody else does, and you want to be the one to take care of him in return.

———

do you want to read more?

[behindheremeraldeyes]

title: the next step is love

summary: Modern AU - It’s Sakura’s birthday, and after the party, she’s left to take care of the mess of dirty plates and glasses. Luckily, she’s not alone, but he can’t really stay forever, right?

a/n: Okay, this story was supposed to have come out way earlier, but I changed the plot so many times that I just couldn’t finish it for her birthday... The original idea was so different, and perhaps, I end up writing it another time when the inspiration strikes again (seriously, it was a nice one). Anyway, I hope you can still enjoy this one! As always, my fluff side took over me and I just had to make something simple and domestic for the Queen’s bday! Hope you enjoy it, and please, let me know what you think! (also, this is un-betta’d. I wanted to post this asap because I’m working on a different project, so... bear with me)

.

“Thank you for coming! ‘Careful on your way home!”

The sound of the door clicking shut reverberates across her entire apartment, and it only takes one second for that smiley expression to fade from her face. Her right hand is still placed over the door-knob, and for a brief moment, she closes her eyes, letting out a deep sigh in pure contentment. The last guests are finally on their merry way home now, and at last, she can stop worrying about things such as making sure no one’s feeling left out or re-filling toilet paper. Even if they’re all good friends, her perfectionist mind can’t simply allow her to enjoy the night without worrying about those details.

After turning the key, her hand moves to massage the back of her neck, and finally, she sets her toes free from her black heels. A mix of relief and calmness spreads all over her body, as a soft smile takes over her cherry-colored lips. This, perhaps, might be her favorite part of her birthday parties— or any party, for the matter— because, right now, she can finally savor all the things she's prepared for the night. The food, the decoration, the soothing music...

Oh, what a dream, she thinks, at first, before looking around with her lazy eyes and frowning at the scene. If only all of that mess could magically disappear by the time she wakes up tomorrow morning.

A sigh escapes her lungs as she makes her way back to the center of the hurricane that is her living room. Just like last year, she starts wondering why on earth she let Ino convince her to host her own birthday party instead of going out for a couple of drinks like most people do. Though the pinkette really enjoys having her friends over for a couple of hours, she can’t deny that the day after March 28th is probably the most tiring of the year. Sakura knows she's barely gonna get any sleep tonight, and by the time her alarm goes off around 5:30, she will certainly need at least 1 liter of coffee in order to go through her shift without falling asleep.

In theory, she could leave all that mess for tomorrow, sure, but thanks to her cleaning compulsion, that’s not really an option for her.

If only she could be a little more like Naruto...

Still, as she shakes her pink head, Sakura decides there’s no use in thinking about it tonight. That’s a problem for her future-self, and even if she’s probably going to regret that decision in the morning, right now, this is her moment. She can drink a full glass of champagne while eating another piece of her strawberry cake, and the best part is that she can do it all while enjoying the company of the only one whose presence will never be a bother to her.

Once she finally reaches her kitchen, the pinkette is fast to register the dirty dishes laying around the counter. There are way more glasses than the number of people she invited for the party, but for a brief moment, she forgets that she’s the owner of that mess. Her emerald eyes automatically drift towards the sink, and her heart skips a beat at the scene playing in front of her.

Not even in her wildest, teenage-ish dreams would she have ever pictured Uchiha Sasuke doing her dishes after her birthday party. Though she knows she’s the one who’s technically responsible for all of that, it’s inevitable for her to be entertained by how focused he seems to be while attempting to remove that lipstick stain from the cup.

How lovely, she ponders, bitting her lower lip in order to suppress a chuckle.

Too bad she can’t just keep watching him for the rest of the night.

“You know, even if I appreciate both your help and the view, you don’t have to do this, Sasuke-kun.” Sakura says, picking up some of the plates laying around and walking towards the sink. She’s standing by his side now, his tall body towering over hers, almost a head taller. The expression decorating his features remains unaltered, and she notices how he slowly moves to give her some space next to him. “You can go rest, if you want.”

“Do you want me to go leave?” He asks, unaltered, while scrubbing another knife.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” She answers, grabbing a piece of cloth to dry the cutlery he has already washed. “I just don’t want you to do something you don’t want just because it’s my birthday or anything like that. It’s fine, really. I can do it alone.”

“Hn, It’s faster if we do it together.” He stops, a sly smirk taking over the corner of his lips as he closes the tap. His eyes are on hers, now, and she can feel her chest warming up in response. “Unless you wanna do it all by yourself.”

“Nope.” She says, promptly, handing him another dirty spoon and he’s quick to resume what he was doing. Her eyes watch the way the water runs through his fingers, and oddly, she can’t help but find that amusing. “If you’re willing to help, who am I to say no, right?”

A giggle escapes her lips when she hears the ‘tch’ that escaped from his lips, and eventually, they fall in a comfortable silence that is only disturbed by the clanking of the dishes touching each other. Every now and then, their fingers brush when he hands her the plates, and though she can still feel the sparks, those simple touches are no longer enough to make her blush in embarrassment as they used to.

His touch is no longer a stranger to her skin. His presence and his warmth have long been registered by her subconscious, marking every cell of her body with his constant presence. It’s been over 5 springs since their childish love finally bloomed into a serious relationship, and by now, both Sasuke and Sakura have grown used to one another. It goes beyond carnal desires or any poor excuse for a casual company, for their hearts share a connection deeper than words could ever describe.

Blame it on the fact that they used to be good friends before or even fate itself, but it’s impossible to deny the fact that they’ve reached the apex of their young love-life, to the point where doing the dishes together feels wholesome in ways neither of them can explain. There’s a sense of domesticity and mutual understanding shared in between unspoken words, and perhaps, that’s why it works so well for them as a couple. Even if they’re very different people, with different routines and personalities, they make it work.

They have enough trust, love and companionship to last for a life-time.

And though that should be enough—hell, that should be more than enough— Sakura can’t help but feel that there’s still something missing.

Something she can’t quite pin-point, but something that makes perfect moments lose their magic, for she knows they just won’t last. Even now, as they’re doing the dishes and making small conversation about how the party went, deep inside, her heart is heavy because she knows that once those dishes are clean, it will all be over and she will be left alone in her apartment before midnight strikes.

No matter how hard she tries, their moments together have their life-spawn shortened by the common laws of the universe, for every time there’s that stupid parting moment in which they both have to go separate ways. It’s painful for her to watch him disappear in the distance, and even if he doesn’t really express it with words, she can see the light in his eyes fading whenever they have to say goodbye. It’s always a new ‘good night’ and never a constant ‘good morning’ for them, and after so long, she’s sick and tired of this.

Perhaps, it’s just her tired-self speaking too loud in her head or even the few drinks she had during the party, but tonight, she doesn’t want the world to stand between them. Tonight, Sakura will break the natural laws, not caring about the consequences of finally taking the next step.

It’s still her birthday, after all. That has to count for something.

Her heart is beating faster now that she has made up her mind, and she realizes that she’s shaking when she picks another fork from his hands. She’s swallowing dry, and if not for the make up in her face, she knows he would be able to see a crimson blush decorating her cheeks. It’s now or never, she thinks. And before she has the chance to talk herself out of it, Haruno Sakura decides to act.

“Uhm... Sasuke-kun.” She starts, her voice shaky as his name slips from her tongue. Clearly, she forgot to think about the proper way of actually saying what she wanted, choosing instead to improvise— something she’s never really been good at. “I was thinking... Why don’t you spend the night here? You don’t have to go home after this.”

“Don’t even think about going to sleep, Sakura. You’re not leaving all of this mess to me.”

“Oi, that’s not what I meant!” She scolded him, a pout taking over her expression. “Shannarou, I just don’t want you to go home all alone at such late hours. Besides, is it wrong for a girl to want to stay with her boyfriend for the night?”

“You pervert.” He smirks, earning an elbow to his ribs in response. For someone so small, it’s undeniable that his girlfriend has some sort of abnormal strength people like her shouldn’t possess.

“Shut up. That’s not what I meant either! I just... I just don’t want you to leave, that’s all.”

Her words come out a little too low, but high enough so that he can hear them. Her voice sounded an octave too-melancholic, and perhaps, that was what made him actually take her offer seriously. “Hn, I guess I could. I don’t have to work tomorrow, so I can go home once when you leave for the hospital.”

“Really?” Sakura starts, a smile now threatening to take over her features. Though she still had to convey her real plan, that was already a win. A small one, but a win, nonetheless. “Well, you don’t have to leave that early if you don’t want to. You can just...stay. Maybe even wait for me to get home from the hospital and then we could eat dinner together.”

“What?” His eyes widen at her idea, and right now, she can’t really tell if his surprised expression is good or bad. “Aren’t you going to stay there until late tomorrow?”

“Well, probably, but you can stay here... is that a problem?”

”It’s not really a problem, but... I just don’t want to abuse your hospitality. It’s still your apartment, Sakura.” He scratches the back of his neck, and she could see that he was truly concerned about his manners. His mother has taught him how to be a gentleman, and even if she loves that about him, right now, she wishes he could let loose and just take her offer.

She bites her lower lip at his words, a puff of annoyance inflating her cheeks at his answer. Her boyfriend’s has never been good at reading her signs, and now, when not even she’s understanding them, the pinkette is starting to freak out.

Things are not going as planned— not that she actually planned anything to begin with. Her head is spiraling as she watches the snow-ball being created by her messy words, and slowly, she can feel her chance slipping through her fingers. If she doesn’t say it now, Sakura’s going to miss her opportunity, and who knows what’s going to happen to them. Will they break up? Will he think she’s not interested in a long-term commitment? Will they never do the dishes again?

No, she’s overthinking again. They have a solid relationship that has been built over the years and she’s not going to ruin it all in one night because she’s acting like a coward. She’s a modern, independent woman. A doctor, damn it. She has done a lot of things that were harder than asking her boyfriend to move in with her.

She can do it. She will do it.

“Sasuke-kun!” Her voice is determined now, her eyes filled with a different fire in them. This is it. No backing out now. “I need to ask you something important. It’s about our future together.”

“Okay... I’m listening.” He states, a little taken aback by her sudden burst. He stops what he’s doing, his dark irises now looking into her emerald ones. They’re holding a certain hope in them, and if anything, she was not expecting him to be paying that much attention to her. She’s feeling pressured by them, intimidated even. Her knees are shaking, her lips are trembling and her mind is suddenly blank.

She can’t do it. Nope. Not with those eyes staring into her soul.

“I-I... I...” Her heart is beating faster, and she feels like it will burst out of her chest any minute now. She’s going to faint, she can tell it.

“What is it, Sakura?”

“I-I...” She swallows, then, sighing as courage escapes her body. The pinkette has chickened out, finally opting for her ever-reliable plan B. “Naruto is an idiot, right?”

“... Yes.” He starts, his brows furrowing in confusion. “But what does that have to do with our future?”

“E-Everything! I mean, did you see how drunk he was tonight? Thank god Sai offered himself to take him home tonight, but we can rely on that forever. As his best friends, we have to do something about it. He lives far from both of us and we need a plan whenever we have a drinking night together.”

A moment of palpable tension grows between them, and right now, she’s sure he can hear her heart beating like crazy inside her chest. I’m an idiot, she thinks, holding back the urge to lower her head and cry. Sakura has just ruined everything, and right now, she’s going to have to pretend to actually care about where Naruto crashes when he’s drunk just so her boyfriend doesn’t think she’s completely crazy.

Ugh, those damn eyes of his. Why do they have to be so *freaking beautiful?

Thankfully, they can also read her like an open book.

“Hn, you’re right.” He says, finally breaking the silence that surrounded them. His voice is calm and understanding, as always, and she can feel her heart settling down at that. If anything, at least, his reaction isn’t bad or anything. “I guess we will have to have a spare room for him when we move in together.”

“Yeah, sure. A spare room when we—“ Her mind stops. Her hands freeze while holding the cloth and her green eyes widen. Her lips part slightly, but no word dares coming out of them.

Did he... Did he just say what she thinks he said?

She doesn’t know what kind of face she’s making right now, but if anything, she’s completely dumbfounded by his words. Sure, it’s not like he’s making a move tonight or anything, but he did say the words, right? Move in together. The three words she was trying so hard to get out of her chest, simply rolled out of his tongue as if it is the most logical thing in the world— and perhaps, it is. He says them in a way as if that decision won’t change their lives forever. As if it won’t affect their routine and the amount of food they have to buy at the grocery store.

It’s a decision that goes beyond a drawer filled with socks or an extra tooth-brush. And even if he sounds as calm as ever, she knows he’s aware of all that, because, if anything, Uchiha Sasuke doesn’t do anything based on impulse. He’s the kind of man who thinks things through and studies every possibility before making a decision.

So that means...

“Sasuke-kun... Are you suggesting that we move in together?”

“Aa.” He nods, no hesitation in his voice. “Weren’t you trying to say the same?”

“I-I... I was?” She says, sounding more like a question, to which he simply quirks an eyebrow in inquiry. If anything, that was not the moment for doubts anymore. “I mean, yes! That was exactly what I was trying to say.”

“Good. Then it’s settled.”

“Is it? Really?” She asks, hope now running through her veins and lighting up her entire system.

“Yes. It’s only natural for people like us, right?”

“Yeah...” He cheeks grow warmer, and her chest suddenly feels lighter. At last, he took the words out of her. “It’s settled, then.”

At last, their days of saying goodbye are counted and now they can enjoy each other from dawn to dusk.

A smile slowly makes its way to her eyes, and she can’t help but switch her attention to him. Sasuke is now looking at her, a soft expression taking over his face. She’s bewildered right now as she looks at the man who will be living with her. Totally and completely marveled, and more in love with him than she has ever been before in her life.

He understands her unsaid words and they share similar ideas regarding their past, present and future.

They are in love, and now, they’re ready to share the same roof above their pretty, little heads.

“You’re still staying with me tonight, right?”

“Tch.You really are a pervert, Sakura.”

He splashes her face with some water from the sink and her giggles fill her kitchen with joy. They’re young and in love, and for now, that’s all they need to take the next step towards their future together.

the end

[i-am-infinite]

Guilt (Part 2): The Market

(Din Djarin x ForceSensitive!F!Reader)

Part 1 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Description: Moff Gideon has found someone else to run his experiments on and word gets back to Din. Will he take his son far away and try and find somewhere safe? Or will the guilt of an innocent being put in his son’s place eat away at him? (No Y/N or ___ used)

Word Count: 4.5K

Warnings: violence, mention of blood, needles, crude talk, symtoms of anxiety attack, fluff, angst, implied death and death, let me know if I'm missing any

A/N: This took a while to write because I was really distraught after Chpt 14. Also planning on turning this into a little series. I'm going to try and finish it before my next semester starts in Feb. I also don’t know how to write fight sequences so sorry in advance. 

You see a stormtrooper take aim at your rescuer. Right when he pulls the trigger, you reach your hand out screaming, “NO!”

It was supposed to miss him. It missed him before. Instead of bending out of the way, it hits him and the Mandalorian goes down fast. Before you know it, more troopers come, grabbing Dr. Pershing and dragging him away. They start coming towards you when you hear yourself say, “No, please no!” You could run towards the speeders, but there’s too many of them now, they can catch up easier. Looking back at the shiny man, tears leave your eyes. You were supposes to save him. That’s how it was supposed to happen. You start screaming the only name you know for him as a stormtrooper grabs your arms and has them twisted behind your back. Dragging you back to where you escaped from, the stormtrooper is calling your name. 

He keeps calling it as he shakes your arms then follows it with, “Wake up.” Why does that mechanical voice sound different from the rest? The words echo in your head. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. 

The stormtrooper helmets transforms into the one of the Mandalorian as you open your eyes. His hands leave your upper arms as he crouches in front of you. Still disoriented, your own hand comes up to your cheeks to shield your face when you realize it feels damp to the touch. Closing your eyes again and taking deep breathes you have to tell yourself over and over again: He’s here. I’m here. It was just a dream. Finally calmed down, you open your eyes to Mando still squatting in front of you. 

“You okay?” His modulated voice says to you. Nodding your head while wiping way the last of the tears, you can’t help but feel heat rise to your cheeks, wishing you could just disappear as you sink further into the copilot chair. “You want to talk about it?” he tentatively asks next. If it were anyone else, you would’ve probably said no, but seeing his tenderness as he cared for Grogu over the past few hours in hyperspace makes you give in. 

“We- we were back there, about to get on the speeders,” your heart rate picks up again thinking of it. You have no idea why the dream is affecting you this much. Continuing on with a shaky voice, “The stormtrooper, h- he shot you before I- I could- and” tears were forming in your eyes again, “and they st- started dragging me off and-” your voice suddenly barely above a whisper as you continue, “you weren’t moving.” 

You shouldn’t have shared it. Oh gosh, you wish you could take it back now. He hasn’t said anything. He probably thinks you’re weak now, unable to handle yourself, let alone a nightmare. It was a stupid dream, you are about to tell him when you hear him sigh, “Give me your hand.” Confused, you hesitate, causing him to tilt his helmet to the side and hold out his hand. Giving in, you hold out your own, placing it in his still hesitant. Moving his hand down to your wrist, gripping it lightly as he moves it his chest plate, he speaks again, “Feel this? This is beskar, strong enough to withstand blaster shots. While what you did was impressive, all you stopped from happening is me having to clean my back plate later.” Your face falls at this, noticing it, he brings his other hand over yours. You feel all the heat you have left in your body run up to your face. He declares, “That dream wouldn’t have come true. You’re safe. They won’t get to you again, I promise.” 

Still with your hand against the cool metal, all you can say is, “Oh. Thank you.” You wait for him to let go of your hand and wrist before you pull away, but he still hasn’t. Grogu stirs on the chair to your right, waking up after seeming to have slept through your nightmare. As if the noise startled Mando, he finally lets go and picks up his son. Clanking could be heard coming up from the ladder. 

Mando sits back in the pilot chair with the little green child who keeps trying to reach for the different buttons on his lap, as Dr. Pershing also seems to have finally woken up. Coming into the cockpit carrying a discarded IV bag. Oops. Should have put that back in at some point. 

Pershing comes as squats to the side of your chair, blocked off by the arm rest. “Looks like you’ve got some of your color back, which is good. Just to be safe, you should probably leave this in for longer.” Just nodding your head in response, scared your voice will falter, but now not knowing if it was from the dream or the prolonged touch of the beskar man. Or the fact that Pershing just pointed out how you’re blushing right in front of the person who caused in the first place. 

Trying not to look up at Mando, due to sheer embarrassment, you fail at your task when he turns to watch Pershing with the child still on his lap. He tries to be causal of his hand on his thigh, a little too close to his blaster as the doctor gets closer to you, while Grogu plays with his fingers. Father and protector, you smile to yourself. Realizing your line of gaze, he moves his other hand to hold to his child and abruptly turns his chair towards the stars as you feel a cold pinch in your arm. 

. 

The next hour or so is spent in silence, preparing to land on who-knows-what-planet. As long as you can get off this chilly ship and descend out of the numbness of space, it doesn’t matter where. You might be being a little over-dramatic, but wearing a now torn, thin, short sleeved shirt, some sort of pants with blaster powder now littering it, and no shoes, you think you deserve the right to be just a tad dramatic. The IV bag is finally finished, so there’s one less ice-cold thing touching your skin. Still you shiver in your seat, not wanting to impose too much and ask for a blanket or a change of clothes. Hopefully wherever you get off is warm, or at least warmer. 

Finally descending, you see tall, colorful structures, bright blue skies, and so much green. It’s beautiful. You can’t take your gaze off the gorgeous landscape getting larger before your eyes. Pulling your legs away from your chest, you brave the cold floor yet again to try and get a closer look. Audibly making a noise as you shiver, both men turn towards you, finally taking in your tattered appearance. With a static-y sigh, your starting to think that’s how he starts everything he says, the Mandalorian notes, “We should probably get you some better clothes.” His helmet points down to your feet, then tilts as he says, “And shoes.” 

. 

Bare feet hit the luscious green grass, toes curling and uncurling into it as you deeply inhale the fresh air. The sun hitting your skin makes you feel alive again, warming you from outside to inside. It’s as if you can feel the golden rays pouring out of you. You have never seen nature as brilliant and as vibrant as it is here, you never want to leave its warmth. Too caught up in your own little world, you don’t notice the two men start walking towards the city. Grogu babbling in Mando’s bag snaps you out of it and you slightly jog to try and catch up to them. 

It takes a while to walk into the city, considering where Mando landed his ship. By the time you actually get there, your feet feel like one of the thousand rocks you’ve stepped on during this journey. The armored man barely seems to notice at first of you trailing behind, only stopping when the city is finally in view. So now to top of being cold and unequipped for this amount of walking, you are now tired. Grrrwwww. And hungry. Hopefully no one heard the atrocious noise your stomach just made. When was the last time you ate? 

Mando must of heard it growl because before you can react, he tosses you a few credits and tells you to go get something to eat while he takes Pershing somewhere to set up his new life. You didn’t catch the last part because you’re already following your nose to the nearest source of food. While walking away you hear more static come out of his helmet, like he was sighing again, but it wasn’t the same as last time. It almost sounded like a laugh. Was... was he laughing at you? You whip your head around, but they’ve already disappeared. Shaking your head, you turn back and let your stomach take the lead again. 

. 

Mando and Grogu finally come back when you are all about done with this meat on a stick. They find you sitting in front of this little shop, eyes closed in bliss about finally eating. There’s barely anyone around, so it was not very hard to spot you. Finally looking up, ripping one of the last pieces off the kebob, you beam up at him. You don’t know it but seeing you happy after the events of this morning, brings a smile to the bounty hunter’s face. Offering his hand to help you stand, he asks, “Better?” You nod your head in response while he helps pull you up. Shoving he little piece of meat into your mouth, you hear his voice yet again, “What even is that?” 

“I don’t know,” you counter. “All I know if that it smelled really good. Honestly if I knew what it was, I probably wouldn’t be able to eat it,” you finish with a giggle. He just nods, still without you seeing the smile planted on his face. You two walk side by side going into the city, with Grogu in a bag on his father’s hip of course. 

You can hear the main part of the city before you actually see it. People are bustling, vendors litter the streets, it’s astonishing. And overwhelming, very overwhelming. Your breath hitches as you recall that a vendor was the way they found you before. But no, no you’re safe with the Mandalorian, he said they wouldn’t get to you. No, that he wouldn’t let them get to you. Without noticing, you start walking closer to Mando, more into his personal space than he usually likes. You’re close enough to graze his hand while walking, and right now you desperately want to reach out and grab it. Okay, it’s okay, just focus on your breathing, in and out, in and out. 

Too busy trying to calm yourself, you don’t notice Mando look over at you after he felt you invade his space. He whispers to you, “Are you okay?” but the volume is too much to get his question to your ears. Instead he lightly puts his hand at the small of your back, causing you to slightly jump. Looking around, your line of vision finally falls on the bounty hunter’s arm, now removed from your back, moving back towards his side. A blush creeps up to your cheeks as your realize that he noticed you. Pull it together. You manage to walk only a few more feet until someone bumps into you and instinct takes over as you grab onto something to steady yourself. The thing that happens to be is Mando’s arm. 

Luckily, he extends it behind your back to steady you, but not before sending the poor soul that accidentally bumped you what can only assumed is a death glare. That poor man turns as pale as a ghost. You almost forgot how menacing he could be. You’ve only been on the receiving end of Mando’s protection and don’t want to know what the opposite would be like. You two continue to walk with his arm guiding you, until you see it. Shoes. You nearly forgot about the pain in your feet until you saw them. Hand no longer on your back, you hurry forward, leaving the now frenzied and confused Mandalorian behind. 

Reaching the stand, you turn to find Mando with his hand on his blaster and his bucket of a helmet frantically looking around the area for a sign of danger. The T of his visor finally looks back at you and you just mouth to him, shoes! and then point at your bare feet. He tilts his head to the side and you just know that he sighed. Shaking your head, you let out a huff of air that resembles a laugh at his signature way of expressing himself. 

. 

Before you know it, you have new shoes, already on your feet, a few shirts and two pairs of pants. Mando insisted you have layers because who knows where they might end up. This begs the question, what kind of trouble has he gotten into before, better yet what trouble are you getting yourself into? Babbles from a hidden baby remind you that maybe the trouble is worth it. 

The shiny man and you continue walking around the marketplace of the city. He said he wanted to see if they had any spare parts that he could use for the Razor Crest and you were just happy to be wearing boots and having the extra time to break them in. “You can go look around if you want, I’m going to be over here,” Mando states as he inspects some round, gear-looking thing. Figuring you’d get bored of the mechanical items, you go to wander. “Hey,” the modulated voice cuts through again, “stay close.” Nodding, you only go two booths down to look at the books laid out. 

Eyes scan to find anything remotely related to this thing, this power, you and Grogu possess. In the back of your mind also knowing you’re searching for something to tell you more about Mandalorian culture, as you have become intrigued by your new companion. While looking, something shiny, much like Mando, catches your eye. Turning to the next booth, the item seems to be a hair pin. You freeze. 

A flower hair pin. Pearl in the center, with gray and white iridescent petals. No, no, no, no this can’t be happening. It feels like you can’t get enough air into your lungs. Your legs feel like lead, but you need to get out of there, you have to. The table has more unfinished glass pieces there too, just like before. They can find you. They can get you. They can get the baby. No that can’t happen, you force your tense legs to move as your hands shake. Backing up away from the stand, you bump into the book stand, letting a stack of books fall into the dirt. “Sorry, sorry,” you say with an unsteady voice. You need to find Mando, you need to find the baby, you need to -

Hands grab the back of your shoulders, as you think it’s over. You try to shake them off when you’re turned around to a familiar T visor. You stop fighting against him and grab his forearms. Your breathing still hasn’t slowed as he asks with a sternness you haven’t heard from him, “What happened?”

You can’t think of how to explain with your mind and heart racing and can only answer with, “We need to get out of here.” He pesters why to better understand the situation but all you can answer with is, “please,” as tears threaten to spill. “We need to get out of here please Mando.” He looks around confused, trying to find any source of danger, but turns his attention back to you when your grip tightens and you try to pull the three of you out of there. 

He lets you lead him to the edge of the city, back towards the green scenery you landed in. Finally stopping you with his hands on your shoulders again, he calls your name, “You need to tell me what is going on.” Taking a few breaths trying to compose yourself, you explain how the day before you were taken, you were at a shop similar to the one you were at. How you saw this hair pin then cut your hand while the person working tried to help you clean up. Explaining how you thought nothing of it, until you realized they wanted your blood for experiments. You barely make it through telling him that you saw the same set up with the hair pin at that booth. 

“That’s how they must have found me. We need to get out of here before they recognize us, please,” you plead. His helmet hangs down low as he slides one hand down to take your hand and begins walking back towards the ship. 

Arriving back at the ship, Mando hands you the bag filled with new clothes, “Go change, I’ll take care of this.” Just thinking he meant to fly the three of you off the planet, you go into the ‘fresher and get ready to take off far away from here. Finally dressed and hearing the latch close, you climb up to the cockpit. Grogu gurgles and makes grabby hands for you to pick him up from the co-pilot seat. While doing so, you realize the pilot seat is empty. 

“Where’s your dad, huh little one?” you coo at him. You called out to Mando to get no response. Attempting to climb down the ladder with the child wasn’t easy, especially still worried from before. You call out to Mando again, this time more frantic as he’s nowhere to be found. Your hear rate increase as you search the ship. Pressing the button you think would open the latch of the ship does nothing. What? did he lock you in here? You open some cabinets to be met with his armory. Picking up a blaster, you start rambling to the kid, “Your dad won’t mind right? Yeah, he’d want you protected. I won’t need to use it, but just in case. Yeah, just in case. Why don’t we also hang out in the cockpit away from the doors? Sound good?” You’re only met with muffled babbles back as Grogu sticks his stubby hand in his mouth. “Yeah, we’re going to be okay. Nothing is going to happen.” You hope.

. 

Back in the city, Din is looking for a stand that has this... hair pin? Does he even know what one of those looks like? He’ll figure it out, you knocked some books over, so he decides he’ll start there. Unfortunately for Din, most of the vendors are closing down their booths. Dank farrik. He’s got to move quickly before they’re all closed. 

Speed walking, he comes across the same man working the booth Din was at before you panicked. He asks the man if he knows if there is a booth that sells this item, and thankfully he points Din in the right direction. Four booths down. The people who wanted his child, and now you, could’ve been four booths down from him and he had no idea. Now’s not the time to beat himself up over this, he needs answers. Stalking up to the table, he’s met with a young man cleaning up the stand. Without looking up the man says, “What can I help you with?” Din’s hand ghosts over the pin you described to him and sees the many broken pieces scattered on the table. 

“Seems a little... unsafe having all of these around,” Din observes while now moving around the table. The man finally looking up, goes white in the face and begins to run. Why do they always think they can outrun me? Chasing the man down an alley, Din uses his grappling hook around his feet and the man goes tumbling to the ground. Grabbing him by the collar to face him. Anger laced through his modulated voice, “Did you follow us?”

“Nope, just the lucky bastard that happened to be on the same planet as you,” He spits out. Din notices that he moves his jaw to the side, but the man continues, “Don’t worry they’ll find you and the child soon. Oh, and I’m sure the troopers will have a good time with that pretty little girl you have once  they get their hands on her.” Before Din can land a hand on this guy, he bites down on something and there’s electricity everywhere, just like he saw with Bo Katan. Din barely jumps off the man in time. Now full of adrenaline and anger he stands there for a few seconds thinking of his next move. Kriff. He needs to get back to you and his son. 

. 

You are sitting on the cold floor of the cockpit, with Grogu on your lap, hand hovering the blaster that is next to you on the ground. Banging coming from the Crest makes you jump. It sounds like the hatch opens, so you clutch Grogu closer and pick up the blaster as you stand up. The pram is still in the cockpit, so you put the baby that is pulling your hair in and close it. Going to the opening between the levels, with shaky hands, you raise the blaster and wait. Clanging can be heard when you finally hear Mando call your name and the kid’s.

Hopping down the ladder, blaster still in hand, you smile at him as he stands still. “What the hell are you doing with that,” he barks at you. You stand there dumbfounded, he’s the one that left you in the ship with his child. He should be glad your first thought was to protect him. He continues with his hands on his hips, “Do you even know how to use that?”

Still startled, you stammer, “You just- point and shoot?” With that his hands go up in astonishment and back down again, almost as if he’s saying, are you kriffing kidding me? Why is he so angry right now? 

“You’re - you’re the one that left me, that left us here,” you point back up to the cockpit, “I didn’t know if someone else could get in or not. Why are you so angry at me for trying to protect your son?” 

“You could have shot him or yourself, you don’t even know how to use it,” his voice raises and he takes it out of your hand. 

“I’m not the one that left us here defenseless!” you scream. Both of you stand there for second huffing at each other. Finally thinking a little bit more rationally, you ask, “Where did you even go?” 

Pushing past you, he put something in your hand, “I took care of it.” He climbs the ladder as you look. The hair pin. He took care of it? He took care of it. Your face falls thinking of what that means. Following him back up, you take Grogu from the pram and place him on your hip. 

“You took care of it?” you say astonished, “Care to elaborate?” Mando sits in the pilot chair already plotting a new location. 

“No.” Your eyes go wide as he spins the chair to face you. “I’m flying us out of here and I-,” his hands go up in defeat, “I need to eat. I’ll tell you when it’s safe to come up.” He sounds less angry but still very annoyed. At this point you’re fuming. You spin on your heels with Grogu playfully slapping his little 3-fingered hand across your face for attention. 

You leave the cockpit and grab two food packets on the crate before the ladder opening. Stuffing them in your pocket, you try to maneuver yet again down the ladder with a baby clinging to you. Hopping off the last wrung, you go to sit on the crates you woke up on. Opening the packets, you help feed Grogu his. 

Why was he so mad? If anything, he should be thankful that you were being resourceful. And after the past couple of days you think you deserve the right to be a little worked up about things like this. The anger is fueling you right now. It keeps spiraling, you can feel the darkness surround you. This used to happen when you were younger. Your emotions would almost devour you whole. Luckily your mother would always tell you, it’s okay to have these emotions but don’t let them consume you. She would lead you through some breathing exercises to help you calm down. Oh, you wish she were here with you right now to help. Could she have known about this ability you have? That’s not important right now, you need to breath and calm down. While doing so, you feel two little hands come and rest on your chest, as to help you relax more. Playing with his ears, the weight of the day starts to set in. You feel your eyes start to droop and before you know it, you’re asleep yet again. 

. 

Din holds his head in his hands. He shouldn’t have snapped. He knows this. It’s just knowing that Moff Gideon and his Imps could be anywhere in the galaxy trying to find others like the two Jedi he seemed to have collected. Are you even a Jedi? He still has no idea how this even works. Din shakes his head trying to clear it of what that man said. The anger boils up in him thinking of what he said about you, about their hands on you. He wishes he could’ve gotten a few punches in on him. He got out easy. 

He’d do anything to protect Grogu, he knows it and they know it. But now with you in the equation? He’s terrified. He doesn’t know what he got himself into with now both of you under his protection. You don’t know this but he saw you peeking through the opening, with your hands shaking holding the blaster and with such fear in your eyes. A pain springs up in his chest just thinking of it. Looking up towards the door, he thinks it might be time for him to stop hiding and time to go apologize for his behavior. He did just leave without explaining. You also have just been kidnapped and rescued in a matter of days. He sighs, remembering what you have gone through, and now with the reminder in the city. He should have been a little calmer and not taken out his frustrations out on you. 

Putting his helmet back on, he opens the cockpit doors and climbs down the ladder again, only to hear soft snores. There you are with your back against the wall, with Grogu in your lap. Grogu’s eyes open and he starts to make, very slow, sleep filled, grabby hands at his dad. Carefully taking the baby out of your arms, he opens up his own bunk and places the child in his little hammock. Quiet babbling is directed at him and Din responds, “I know, I know, I’m getting her a pillow and blanket.” 

Moving back over towards you with those items in hand, he places the pillow in its spot and carefully shifts you into a lying position, bringing your legs up onto the crates. After placing the blanket over you, Din moves the fallen pieces of hair out of your face. You look so peacefully, he can’t help but stare. Finally, he sighs, “I guess I better teach you how to shoot then.” 

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