#Hot Chilli Restaurant menu

[sideysvault]

˖⁺‧₊The 5 times Deadpool calls you ‘babygirl’₊‧⁺˖

Pairing: Wade Wilson x fem!reader

Established relationship wc 929

Warnings: Minors dni. Foul language, canon typical violence, and explicit content ahead.

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1. The apartment was dimly lit. It was a chilly September afternoon. Both of you were parading around, frantically looking for all the flyers and menus that local restaurants have left at your door and car ever since you moved into the neighborhood. You had been arguing about what to order for dinner for approximately forever. And you guys were starving.

“Thai.”

“Not so quickly, hot stuff. We had that shit last week. Mexican.”

“We have Mexican food all the time. I love it but enough is enough”

The man let out a theatrical gasp and exclaimed “Enough Mexican food? What’s next?” Taking a deep breath, he began making a poor imitation of your high pitched voice “Enough of you! Enough of us!

You held in an amused giggle. He had the ability to make mundane endeavors quite entertaining.

“Ugh, fine. I’ll be an awesome boyfriend and cook for you tonight. Sounds good, babygirl?”

You couldn’t help but chuckle at the sound of that word.

“What did you just call me?”

Wade got up from his seat and started to make his way into the kitchen. Just as he is walking behind you, he smacks your ass while giving your temple a soft kiss.

“Stop being difficult”

By the time he arrived at the kitchen counter, you had him trapped with a hug from behind. Leaving soft, sloppy kisses all over his back, neck and shoulders. You really loved it when he cooked.

2. Wade had no plans of introducing his partner to what he considered nothing more than losers in spandex. But now that he was presented with the opportunity, he was quite pleased with himself. A sense of pride filled his chest with a feather-like sensation. He still wasn’t sure of how a woman like you could even date him, but he was glad you did.

“Baby, this is the russian tin man and his teenage sidekick, Guys, this is my beautiful sexy babygirl”

You immediately feel your face heating up with embarrassment. Luckily, the duo seems to be very accustomed to your boyfriend's antics. They quickly laughed it off with a roll in their eyes.

At the end of the day, he may be the biggest asshole in the world, but they are happy to see Wade in a good, normal relationship. Or at least, as normal as you could get with him.

3. He could feel you wince in pain with every step he took. Your nails were digging into his skin with such force that Wade was pretty sure it was making him bleed. But as long as he got you to the hidden safety offered by the forest near the road, nothing mattered. He tried to put you down as gently as he could. No matter his efforts, as soon as he laid you on the humid duff, you let out something stuck between a gasp and a scream. And as soon as Wade heard it, he felt his heart stop.

It was your very first time getting shot. And it has been his fault.

“It’s okay baby girl, I got you. Just look at me, okay?”

“I know it hurts, baby. We’ll fix it. Brand new. I promise.”

He did not soften the hand which he used to apply pressure on your wound. And he did not let his protective hug soften either.

4. The bed sheets felt humid. You assumed it came from the salty sweat on your body. The woman had been awoken by a nightmare for the third time this week. You panicked for a second, feeling the warm sensation of breath behind your neck. But you soon realized that it was Wade. He had his arms around your waist and you could hear a light snort coming out of the man. You let out a breath you did not know you were holding.

You two were together, at home. Turning around to face him and hide your face in the crook of his neck, pulling yourself as physically close to your boyfriend as you could. He woke up with a groan. Wade kissed your forehead and sloppily rearranged the messy hair out of your face. You could hear him mumbling sweet nothings as he tighten his grip on you and softly tracing invisible lines on your back.

“Go back to sleep, baby girl. You are safe”

- 5 -The cold sensation of the wall against your nipples was completely intoxicating.

Your head felt dizzy because of the constant stimulation. You were pretty sure you were about to pass out. But Wade’s hand kept your head in place, while he left a thrilling trail of kisses all over your neck and back.

The woman lets out a whine almost every time she feels the thrusts. Her pussy was filled with the overwhelming tingles of a denied orgasm.

“You can do it, babygirl, you are so fucking tight. Keep it up, honey”

Your hand reached for the back of his head, pulling his head closer as he pounded into you with more strength than before.

His hand covered your mouth as he mumbled into your ear “Bite it. We are not over yet”

Notes: Hi pretty! Thank you so much for your follow and your requests! I hope to write them all soon. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy reading this one. Take care! -Sidey xxo

Based on this request.

[rahuratna]

Thirst Trap

Genre: Fluff, humour, crack.

Characters: Nanami, Yuuji, Ino.

Summary: Ino and Yuuji unwittingly make Nanami IG-famous through a social media post. As the internet's thirst ramps up, Nanami remedies the situation by roping in the two young sorcerers once again.

CW: language.

"Now that's what I call ... "

"A good run!"

"Oh, hell yeah. You're not half bad, Itadori! Just stick close to me, and you'll learn plenty more!"

A warehouse stained with the remnants of dispatched cursed spirits, clothes rumpled and stained with the evidence of hard work and a new student brimming with the desire to prove himself. Now this was Ino's definition of a day well spent. The last, and most proudly worn feather in his cap was the fact that their successful team-up had been overseen by none other than Nanami Kento himself, the man who breathed inspiration into all of his endeavours as a sorcerer.

Speaking of which ...

"Hey, Nanami, what did you think of our work today?"

Striding along at a steady pace behind the two youngsters, the tall, ever-composed sorcerer looked up and adjusted his glasses.

"Hmm. You're both well-coordinated, considering that you've never been teamed up before. You've got good instinctual prediction of each other's movements and I'm quite certain that you may come up with even more effective techniques if you work together in the future."

Ino nudged Yuuji and mouthed the words "Here it comes."

"Having said that, Itadori, some points to consider."

The cheerful boy glanced back at Nanami and gulped.

"Err, yes, Nanamin?"

"Your instincts are important, but you can't always rely on them. Instincts are based on your physical senses and your ability to analyse cursed energy. It takes a great deal of focus to maintain a good hold on both these threads. If a curse user is able to fool your senses, then such instincts can be your downfall rather than your strength."

Yuuji mulled those words over, humming to himself. Ino clapped him on the back.

"You listen to Nanami and you won't go wr- "

"Funny you should say that, Ino. Because I'm pretty sure I taught you to practice caution at all times instead of throwing yourself head-first into a situation because your underclassman is watching you."

Ino winced and rubbed the back of his head, laughing sheepishly.

"Okay, okay. I admit it. Got a bit carried away 'cos Itadori was watching me. Won't happen again."

Nanami grunted in reply and the two younger sorcerers glanced at each other and grinned slightly. Yuuji's stomach chose that moment to rumble loudly in protest of its emptiness.

"Whoa, whoa. Can't have that. Hey, Nanami, what do you say we grab something to eat?"

"I suppose that would be acceptable. What do you propose?"

Ino turned excitedly to Yuuji.

"Since you're the newbie here, you get to choose! Only for today, though!"

"Seriously? Cool! I wanna eat ... hot pot on a day like this. That warehouse was kinda chilly."

Nanami nodded before consulting his phone.

"There's a good place not far from here. Let's go."

The place Nanami chose was somewhat off the beaten track. They left the main thoroughfare at some point, wandering through a maze of backstreets, food sizzling on outdoor grills, murky puddles and cosily lit bars. The restaurant they ended up at had no proper signage announcing the name of the establishment or any indication of their menu.

The food was, of course, incredible. Yuuji's eyes positively glowed with excitement as the steaming hot pot was laid out before them, the perfectly prepared ingredients on the side.

"Ooh, this is amazing! Nanamin, how'd you find this place?"

"I often come across good places to eat when I'm on missions in the area."

Ino shook his head fondly.

"Oi, Itadori, Nanami here is a massive foodie, you know that? You name any part of Tokyo and he'll tell you the best places to eat there. He even knows regional specialties in other areas that are pretty out there!"

Yuuji was now regarding his mentor with new reverence. Nanami coughed and re-directed their attention to the food.

"This is going to get cold. Shall we begin?"

"Oh! Hold on. Gotta record some of this."

Ino pulled out his phone, getting a few snaps and videos of the steaming hot pot from various angles. Now accustomed to his junior's need to record everything, Nanami sighed and began to add ingredients to the steaming soup base, softly reprimanding Yuuji who didn't want too many vegetables.

"It's winter and these are good for you. Make sure to eat the cabbage. It has roughage and the shungiku and carrots have a lot of vitamins. They also reduce inflammation of the muscles after a long day."

While the pot bubbled merrily, Nanami prepped their sauces in small porcelain dishes, mixing a little grated radish into the ponzu and adding some green onion to the sesame. He added ingredients to the main pot in a methodical sequence, placing the thicker parts of the vegetables first, followed by the assortment of mushrooms and the tofu.

Lastly, with Yuuji's mouth now practically watering, he handed over the thinly sliced beef for them to take, each dipping their portion for a few seconds until cooked, his deep murmur guiding them on correct timing. Ino had now set his phone aside and was just as hungry, digging in with relish.

When the meal was over, two stuffed and slightly drowsy youngsters followed Nanami out of the restaurant, the warmth of the food in their system buffering against the cold wind that caught at their clothes.

By the time Yuuji had been dropped back at Jujutsu Tech, he was ready to hit the bath and sleep for a solid ten hours. Loping towards the student dorms, he briefly checked his phone, shooting a quick text at Megumi.

Back from my mission. All good.

The reply came within seconds.

Did I ask?

I met Takuma!

Oh. He's cool.

Very cool. We had supper at a hot pot place.

With Nanami?

Yup. Apparently he's big on food.

I'm going to sleep now.

Check this out. Takuma sent it to me. He kinda forgot he was recording after a while.

Attachment: 1.

Shit, you're making me hungry dumbass.

Lol. Looks good, huh?

Yeah, whatever. Post it on your IG or something.

Humming thoughtfully, Yuuji entered his room and began gathering together some of his bath supplies. He paused at the foot of his bed, head bobbing to some unheard lyrics, fingers tapping against the phone screen that lit up his face in the darkened room.

After a few moments, he dropped the phone face down on his bed, exiting the room with a yawn, the basket of toiletries tucked under one arm. He promptly forgot about his casual IG post, right up until the next morning when he roused from sleep, eyes still slightly gummed together, fingers fumbling until they unlocked the screen so he could check the time ... and he shot upright in confused alarm, spying the flood of notifications that had come in overnight.

Now it has to be said, at this point, that being the easy-going, friendly type, Yuuji had made a lot of connections with others over time. Whether during his years at middle school, his sporting club days, or more recently, his time out and about in Tokyo on various missions, he'd managed to accrue a fair following on social media. While many of those who friended him and sent him the occasional inbox wouldn't be considered close to him by any means, his posts were often noticed and popular amongst them. Such was the nature of his personality.

And so, the video of Nanami with the hot pot, normally something that would fly under the radar if posted by anyone else, became an overnight sensation simply because it reached a much wider audience.

And what was the appeal of such a simple video, you may ask?

Imagine, if you will, a short video with simple tags, such as 'shabu shabu heaven', 'sooo good', 'too many veggies' and 'still so yummy, tho'.

Upon idly playing the clip (because it's a cold evening, and you might be craving some shabu shabu yourself) you're met with quite the sight.

First, a pair of hands come into view. Large, elegant digits, broad palms, perfect and neatly trimmed nails. The strong fingers handle the chopsticks with deft precision, stirring the steaming broth in the pot briefly.

Well now. Those hands would definitely be intriguing enough, but the effect is magnified as you witness the camera shift angle a little. The view pans up to the arms and body those hands are attached to, the subtle ripple of muscle in the broad shoulders that taper down to a slim waist, all wrapped in an expensive looking blue shirt, visible over the polished wood of the table. The man's face isn't visible, adding an element of mystery.

He begins adding vegetables to the pot, and now he really has your attention, because he has begun speaking.

And oh my. That voice.

The soft, smoky suggestion of reprimand as he softly lists the benefits of the food, the crisp enunciation of a man well-spoken, the low baritone that flows with marvellous richness across the riverbed of acoustic static from the bubbling of the pot.

You're captivated now, bringing your phone closer to your ear as you strain to hear more of those quiet, compelling, slightly authoritative tones. And then, the crowning moment of glory, the little gesture that takes this video from a solid nine to an eleven out of ten.

He rolls up his sleeves.

Setting down the chopsticks, those exquisite fingers unbutton the cuffs of his shirt with a practiced motion, rolling up the perfectly pressed fabric and folding it neatly just beneath the elbow on each side. The motion reveals perfectly sculpted forearms, the powerful flex of sinew beneath skin, veins tracing beneath the surface under the dusting of golden hair in the lamplight of the restaurant.

He continues his muted litany of instructions to whoever he is talking to, but at this point, the man could be reciting the Encyclopaedia Britannica entry on tortoises, on repeat, and you'd lap it up like the thirsty little tart you are ...

Ahem. Where was I?

Right. The video, which at that moment, was being watched by you (the imagined viewer) and Reiko from the sales department, and Haruka who you had lunch with just the other day, and Sara who loves to look up cooking videos on a Sunday afternoon, and Sukuna, who sometimes watched videos from inside Yuuji's mind with mild interest, and who momentarily thought "What a fine voice for a mortal worm", and ... you get the idea, don't you?

Ino received a panicked call from Yuuji that same morning. He'd been puttering about in his small apartment, popping some slices of bread into the toaster and frying up an egg for a quick breakfast, when the call had come through.

"Uh, Takuma-senpai? Hi, it's me, Itadori."

"Oh, hey! What's up? Did they team us up again? Sheesh. Didn't take 'em long."

"No, it's ... not a mission. It's about that video you sent me yesterday. The one from the restaurant."

"Hmm ... oh that one! Yeah?"

"See ... uhhh ... oh damn. How do I - So, look. I posted it on my IG."

"Oh, okay. And then?"

"So ... it kind of ... became popular?"

"People like hot pot that much?" Ino chuckled. "But I mean, what's the problem?"

"It's not the hot pot, Takuma-senpai! It's Nanamin!"

Having finally come to the crux of the issue, Yuuji's words were leaving him in a veritable torrent.

"They all saw him in the video and I didn't know! How was I to know? I didn't think they'd... and now there're all these ladies and girls and stuff and they're all ... it's a mess! And I don't know what to do and he's gonna kill me and - "

"Whoa, whoa, slow down, man. I can't make sense of what you're saying. One thing at a time."

"They think he's hot! They're all talking about Hot Pot Honey Muffin! That's what they're calling him!"

Ino promptly spat out his coffee in a fine brown mist.

"Hot Pot Honey what now?"

"Honey Muffin! I can't - Dude. Please, you've got to help me. If Nanamin finds out - "

"Okay. Okay. This is fine. This is ... Listen. Let me go check the video and the comments and we'll handle this. It can't be that bad. And even if that's the case, Nanami wouldn't be bothered by it. His face is not even in the video. Nobody can recognise him. He doesn't even go out that much."

"Oh God, I'm just ... okay. Go check it out. I'll send you a link to the post. Let me know."

After Yuuji had rung off, Ino took a breath and shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. It was just a harmless little video! He'd posted some of these before himself, and there'd never been an issue. So how bad could it be?

It was bad.

The comment section was ... interesting to say the least.

Who is that man? Anyone?

I'd let him stir my pot. Just saying.

That voice. Hnmnnghhh. Smack me on the wrist and call me nawty.

Daddy? Sorry. Daddy? Sorry -

Sir. One chance. Please sir.

Awjejdbavzbzbahsb pls ur bunny hash been a bad bad gurl

Unf, bouta make that ahegoa face rite now

And, rising above the cloud of steaming, churning, thirsty commentary, that rare peak of social media strata, the dreaded moniker that had found its place from the comment of one of the many new fans that Nanami had found for himself, Hot Pot Honey Muffin.

Ino, in spite of the chill that went up his spine and the momentary panic, knew what had to be done immediately. They had to show Nanami. Keeping something like this a secret would only make things worse with time.

True, Nanami wasn't the kind of man who drew attention to himself, but with the video now as popular as it was, it was entirely possible that someone in a shop, restaurant or one of his other frequent haunts in the local area might just recognise him. He would have to be warned, and even though Yuuji had long since taken the video down, it had been re-posted and there needed to be some kind of technical damage control.

Wracking his brain, Ino hit upon a great idea. Ijichi was known to have connections who could scour the internet for traces of curse activity that might be caught on camera and erase such evidence. Surely something similar could be done about this? If he phrased his request as something urgent, something that could affect Nanami's ability to do his job, then surely they'd take it into account?

With this new burst of inspiration, Ino threw on his jacket and headed out the door to Jujutsu Tech.

"And so ... yeah. That's ... how the matter stands. We're worried about someone recognising you because of how popular this became."

This was worse than he thought. Admitting to a mistake was always difficult when it was Nanami who was hearing you out. Standing in front of him in the staff lounge like two contrite five-year-olds caught with their hands in the cookie jar, Ino battled the instinct to hide behind Yuuji.

He was the older one here, and the one who had recorded the video in the first place. He had to bear the full responsibility for what had happened and be man enough to tell Nanami. How else would he earn his (eventual) respect and admiration?

The sorcerer seated before them heard them out in terrifyingly passive silence before sighing and removing his shades, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Just when I think nothing can surprise me any more ... "

"I'm so sorry, Nanamin!" Yuuji blurted out. "I ... I didn't know ... I mean ... "

"Well, what's done is done. May I see this video, if you please?"

Ino nudged Yuuji  who stepped forward and handed his phone over reluctantly. Their discomfort grew as Nanami watched, a slightly puzzled expression on his face. The video ended and he looked up at them, frowning.

"All right. I can see why you didn't think anything of posting this, Itadori. The video itself is ... ordinary enough. It's simply showing a portion of me and the hot pot. So, why the attention?"

"Uhh ... "

The younger sorcerers glanced at each other. Ino cleared his throat.

"Well ... see, the thing is ... in the video, you kinda come across as ... I dunno ... kinda hot? At least, that's what the viewers seem to think."

"Me?"

Nanami looked incredulous and Yuuji gestured meekly to the phone.

"Just ... read the comments, Nanamin. I took the video down, but people re-posted it, so ... You'll see."

And Nanami began to read. Ino winced as he remembered the top comment, the one that would probably be first on the long list.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Your voice gets me wet Just like shabu shabu

Nanami's eyebrows were rising as steadily as the steam that emanated from the tea pot at his elbow, long forgotten. He eventually handed the phone back to Yuuji, clearing his throat.

"Well."

"Yeah."

"So ... "

"Hmmm."

"Right?"

"Yes."

Yuuji waved his hands desperately.

"But ... we're gonna handle this, right Takuma-senpai?"

"Oh yeah, definitely. I was thinking, you see. Ijichi might be able to use his network to find and remove the content from all media platforms. He's been able to do it before. I can make a request."

Nanami folded his arms and thought for a moment.

"I see. Yes, that would be possible. However, I'm against the idea of using Jujutsu Tech resources and manpower for a request such as this. That same time and processing power could be poured into much more vital concerns. Who knows how many lives could be placed at stake while we use the tools we have for something like this? No. I think another solution must be found."

Ino's shoulders sank under the weight of the knowledge that Nanami was right, as usual. But that left few avenues for removing the video. How else would they prevent this from blowing up further?

"I get it. What you're saying makes sense. What are we gonna do, though?"

"Ah. About that." Nanami lifted a prim finger. "I have an idea."

Yuuji stared at him, dumbfounded.

"You do?"

"Yes. But we will require some help. And some ... expertise on putting together a video."

It was then that Ino felt an even greater chill settle into his very bones as he witnessed something truly rare and unprecedented, something that did not bode well for him and Yuuji at all.

Nanami smiled.

It was Nobara's skill with outfits and make-up, and Inumaki's talent for setting up a scene, that had led to their current predicament. Yuuji's hair had been dyed black, his eyebrows darkened. Nobara's contouring prowess had rendered his face rounder and younger-looking, eyes magnified behind very large, thick lenses. He wore a red t-shirt with a skimpily dressed anime girl printed on it and an oversized purple jacket that disguised his lean, athletic form.

Ino had also undergone a drastic transformation. His dark hair had been shaved at the sides, the top styled into extreme spikes, tinted acid green at the ends. He had been provided with a fake eyebrow piercing and an artfully applied temporary tattoo that curved up the side of his neck, appallingly visible by the standards of society.

They sat at one of the countertops in the student dorms, the background serving as an adequate stand-in for a kitchen in someone's home. Nanami was standing opposite them, wearing his usual blue shirt and tan trousers, his sleeves remaining unfolded this time around.

Inumaki gave one final check to the camera before giving them a thumbs up.

"Salmon roe."

And the recording began.

On the counter, various dishes had been set up, all prepared in advance. They looked delicious, but you wouldn't think so, judging from the expressions of the two young men seated in plain view.

Ino grunted irritably, giving the camera a thousand-yard stare that looked very incongruous on his normally cheery face.

"Do we have to do this shit?"

Yuuji stared gormlessly into space, before laughing obnoxiously and picking his nose.

"Yeah, cos Dad said if we did we could go to that one restaurant where the waitress looked like Hatsune Kiku."

Ino's scowl deepened.

"Tch. Typical. Shit for brains here is on about that dumbass idol again."

"Now, now, boys." Nanami's voice came from across the counter, deep, polished, and a huge contrast to the two choice morsels of hellspawn sitting opposite him.

"Eat your dinner. If you're both good, we'll go to that show next week."

Yuuji's face brightened immediately.

"You mean the one where they dress up in bikinis and wrestle in the mud?"

"No, not that one."

Ino smirked.

"Ha. In your face, rat-breath."

"Be nice to your brother."

"Whatever. What are you feeding us now, old man?"

"I made katsudon. And some vegetables on the side."

"But I wanna eat omurice," Yuuji whined, thumping his fists on the table.

Nanami chuckled. "Ah, you remind me so much of myself at your age, son."

Ino rolled his eyes before tugging a steaming bowl towards himself.

"Seriously? You were this much of a loser?"

"I meant that I liked omurice too."

"Daaaaddd, please can we have omurice."

"Eat what's in front of you. Come on."

Ino stuck his chopsticks into the bowl, churning the beautifully prepared meal into an unappetizing mush.

"Huh. It tastes okay. Now give me a nice hot barbecue and I'd be really stuck in, ya know?"

"Oh, Hatsune Kiku likes barbecue, but she says, in her interview with Doki Doki magazine, Issue five hundred and three, that she can't eat too much of it, 'cos it gives her gas and - "

"Can you shut the hell up about that green haired freak for like, two seconds?"

"Kiku is not a freak!"

"Are you two eating?"

This earned a blessed silence for a few seconds, while the two 'sons' masticated in a manner that was singularly unappealing. When they were done, Nanami produced two bowls of caramel pudding and slid them across the counter, allowing his hands and arms in their blue sleeves to be briefly caught on camera.

"Well, here's dessert."

"Oohhh, pudding." Yuuji grabbed the bowl and moved it around slightly, watching the pudding jiggle. "Hehehehe. It bounces just like Kiku's - "

"Oh, for fuck's sake, you creepy - "

"Language, boys."

"Urgh. I hope I'm getting paid for this. Hanging out with this loser is taking years off my life."

"He's your brother. You two have to look after each other when I'm gone."

"Like fuck I will. He's gonna become a NEET however you see it."

"Then it's up to you to set a good example for him."

"Ha. Me? The second you're in the ground, I'm gonna take the money and buy myself that sweet, sweet little Kawasaki Ninja, then I'm gonna hit the road."

"You'll see things differently with time. Look at me. I was the splitting image of you back then. I settled down nicely."

"Ugh, whatever. I ain't gonna settle down. Now where's my cash?"

"Finish your pudding first, son."

The video, released from a burner account set up by Inumaki, spread as quickly as the first one had. In the days that followed, gossip spread in social media circles about 'Hot Pot Honey Muffin' and his two god-awful sons. The rhetoric around him changed drastically. It turned out that having children, like the boys played so charmingly by Ino and Yuuji, was a huge turn-off to most people.

The two young sorcerers certainly served their time when it came to punishment. It took ages for the tint to grow out of Yuuji's hair and he cringed every time he saw Hatsune Kiku on TV. Ino developed a very strong aversion to bikes for a while and found it hard to stomach pudding. They both decided to deactivate their IG accounts for a while.

Nanami read some of the new video's comments shown to him by Inumaki with some satisfaction.

Can you believe those are his kids?

How the heck is he raising them?

And the younger one. EWWWWWWW.

The older one looks like he microwaves pigeons for fun.

Roses are dead, Violets are a lie, I saw your children, And my pussy is dry.

Nanami adjusted his shades before looking up at Inumaki and nodding gravely.

Success.

[elinorasims]

Build | Strangerville | Ziggy's Diner

Lot Info

Type | Restaurant Lot Size | 30x20 World | Strangerville Value | 94,857 Baths | 3 CC | No Packs | Unrestricted Ziggy's Diner is a classicly retro mashup of Googie and passenger train inspired styles situated in Strangerville Plaza.

Ziggy's is a compact restaurant and bar combo with a Strangerville twist: classic red booths and an elongated mid-century modern bar layout meets sci-fi inspired and 50's-kitsch inspired cluttered decor..

It's giving the diner from the movie 'Paul'. I hope. lol

Ziggy's has a fully customised menu featuring some Mountain States inspired comfort dishes and some American classics (full menu below the cut).

DOWNLOAD >>

Interior Tour

Bar

Staff Areas

Floor Plan

| hi my loves

hopefully you like this one- it was super fun to build and I'm finding my feet a bit more building for this save, i think!

it's been playtested (briefly lol) and should be fully functional and a smooth enough restaurant experience for your sims to enjoy.

i love Paul so much aha we watched it this past weekend and i was immediately like 'yup. gotta go do a strangerville build now.'

| dag dag fn. <3

Ziggy's Diner Menu

Drinks water ; lemonade ; milk ; orange juice ; coffee ; cream cola ; fizzy fruity drink ; pitch black ; root beer float ; soda ; tang and zing ; boiler room ; eapa ; juice on the rocks ; wrench ; galactic vita-water ; silent film ; sour punch ; sunset valley ; alien juice ; cupid juice ; space energy drink ; jet juice

Appetisers chips and salsa ; mac and cheese ; bowl of olives ; bread roll ; french fries ; whole wheat bread ; popcorn shrimp ; garden salad ; cheesy bread ; grilled plantains ; seafood chowder ; soft shell crab cake ; empanadas ; watermelon salad

Mains mac and cheese ; chicken nuggets ; popcorn shrimp ; baked potato ; hot dog ; lobster roll ; veggie burger ; chicken and waffles ; fried chicken sliders ; mushroom waffles ; sausage and peppers ; scrambled eggs with bacon ; seafood chowder ; tofu dog ; fish tacos ; hamburger ; fried fish ; pancakes ; aubergine Parmesan ; sweet corn pizza ; mushroom steak ; french toast ; vegetable chilli ; egg white omelette ; mushroom soup ; bbq ribs plate ; blackened bass ; gumbo ; steak

Dessert neapolitan ice cream ; rainbow sorbet ; vanilla ice cream ; alien fruit tart ; cream filled donut ; cream snack cake ; honey cake ; plain waffles ; rainbow brownies ; hamburger cake ; chocolate chip cookie ; apple pie ; banana cream pie ; pumpkin pie ; simcity cheesecake ; fruit cobbler

[automaticpizzahologram]

Hi I don't speak German so sorry if I translate wrong.

Part 2

Y/n and Billy are both 16

I tie my apron around my waist and clip on my notepad and slip some pens in my pocket on my apron. My waitress uniform is a plain black pencil skirt, a white shirt, ablack tie, black apron, and black high heels.

I quickly put my hair up in my butterfly clawclip and walk in to the kitchen of the small restaurant. I work for work experience and some extra pocket money. I get 10 per hour and I work 3 hours so I get 30 every time I work which is awesome.

The restaurant is a cozy place that always smells nice, there's under fifty seats which is good for me because I normally work with one other girl, I get the impression that she doesn't like me that much because she gives me dirty looks. To be honest I don't know what I've done I met her a month ago when I started working here.

The restaurant is a Italian restaurant called Angerlos and luckily for me it's just a few streets away from where I live.

"hey y/n working again tonight."

" Hey Nelly , yeah I need the cash" Nelly is our chef, he's pretty cool. Nello is a big, balled, buff man, he looks quite intimidating when you first meet him but he's actually really sweet when you get to know him.

" well I hope you good luck"

"thanks" Nelly turns back around to what ever he's making, it smells heavenly, I walk out of the kitchen doors and into the dining part of the restaurant. I immediately jump into work finding a table to serve straight away.

I carefully bring a tray of hot food, hoping that I don't drop it, to a table.

"here you go one Italian style pizza and one sweet chilli chicken wings with salad and sour cream and chiv dip. if your not pleased tell me and I'll take it back for you. Enjoy" I place the two plates on the table and tuck the round tray under my arm. I gave the couple a smile and turn around and head back to the kitchen

" Hey y/n, apparently there's going to be a group coming in soon in about 15 minutes we've been old that they'll be recording some stuff, I don't know what it's for though"

"OK. Thanks Nelly" I place the tray back on the counter.

I spot some new people come in so I walk over to them and direct them to an empty table, I give the trio some menus and tell them I'll be back soon to take their order if they have decided.

I finish cleaning down a table when I hear the door open, I turn around and look at the door seeing what I presume is the group that's going to be filming. I see the other girl, Amanda, go over to the group, lead them to the biggest table we have, give them the menus and lingers at the table for a little too long.

I turn back around and Potter back on with my work

After about 14 minutes I hear the door open and shut. I turn around and see my best friend of 7 years standing at the door with a big smile on her face. I walk over to her and try to be as professional as I can, but with Pheobe it's hard

Pheobe is 5'2, with shoulder length curly ginger hair. She has freckles that cover almost all her face, her green eyes go well with her hair.

S

he really likes art, that's actually how we met in art class in primary school, i was new and she was the first person who was nice to me, we have been best friends since. I wouldn't swap our friendship for anything.

" I would like your finest table madam" she says with a rather bad posh accent.

" of course only the best for you , right this way milady" I say back in a terrible accent back. Pheobe bursts out laughing grabbing the attention of a few near by tables.

I lead Pheobe to the last empty table which happens to be right next to the table of the group

Pheobe, not so grateful, Sits down and looks at the menu for a split second before ordering.

"I would 3 a cowboy burger please with chips and onion rings please and for my drink I would like a diet coke, thanks "

I quickly scribble down her order, blowing a piece of hair out of my face I look up at her.

"I'll get it to you as soon as possible"

But before I could go and take Pheobes order to the kitchen a man from the table next to us gets my attention

" excuse me but we haven't been see yet and we have been waiting for a while to order"

"I'm so sorry I thought that Amanda was serving you, I'll take this order to the kitchen then I'll be right with you, I'll be just one second "

I quickly turn around and walk to the kitchen and through the doors, I clip the order onto the stand and walk back out.

As I'm walking back to the group I get my note pad out and click my pen open ready to take their orders.

"Hi, I'm so sorry for the wait what can I get for you" as I look at the group I spot two familiar faces but I can't remember where I've seen them from.

" would we be able to get these Please" the man hands me one of the restaurants order menus where you can write what you want instead of telling me, in big groups like this it makes my job much easier.

"of course you can, I'll give this to the chef and I'll get your drinks for you now. And again I'm so sorry for the wait" I turn around and walk back into the kitchen and put the sheet on the counter.

"nelly, can you make this one as soon as possible please, its the big groups and I thought Amanda was serving them, in fact I haven't seen her for a while. They have been waiting for over 15 minutes and the wait to be served has never been that long"

Nelly looks around for a quick second and nods his head.

I go to the bar and get there drinks, Four diet cokes, and 3 lemonades. I put the drinks on a large-ish round tray and walk back over to the table.

"here's your drinks. Your meals won't be to long. If there's anything wrong please don't hesitate to tell me"

"thank you" this time it wasn't a man but it was one of the people that look familiar.

"no problem, as I said your food shall be with you shortly until then enjoy" I walk away from the group and as I'm walking I catch Pheobe looking at me then at the group then at me again, I think nothing of it.

I hear the bell that signals that an order is ready, I look over my shoulder and see that it's Pheobe's burger. I walk into the kitchen and pick up her burger and star to carefully walk over to her table. I take the plate off of the tray and on to the table.

" here you go, one cowboy burger with chips and onion rings, enjoy"

"why thank you, this looks delicious"

I glance at the table next to Pheobes and quickly make eye contact with one of the members of the group. I give him a quick smile and and he smiles back his eyes lighting up, it suddenly clicks.

Thats why they look familiar their the two kids from the park from the other day how could I not remember him. I spot the camera it's a small black video camera and it's pointing to the 4 younger ones. They probably have a YouTube channel or something .

I turn my head away from the table and look at phoebe who's happily munching on some chips. "my breaks in like 6 minutes so save me some chips will ya.

I place the plates on to the table.

" here you go, again I'm so sorry about the wait, if there's anything wrong please tell me and I will sort it out" I make eye contact with Bill again and he's the one to smile first, the only lady of the group says something in German, and the man laughs, bill has a look on his face and the 3 others laugh as well.

I take of my apron then placing it on the back of the chair while I sit down on Pheobes table, taking the couple of chips she saved me and shoving them in my mouth.

"so who's that" she says in a hushed voice, leaning slightly over the table.

" who's who?" I say back in a hushed tone

"the one who keeps looking at you all the time, longish black hair"

"oh him, I met him in the park the other day as I was leaving I dropped my waterbottle and he picked it up for me"

Pheobe stops leaning over the table and stops talking in a hushed tone.

"how longs your break for?"

" 10 minutes then I have to go back to work for another half hour until I can go home"

"Not bad, I would stay till your shift ends but I need to be home in 15 minutes."

"that's OK"

We talk until my break ends

" I'll probably see you tomorrow for our weekly video call?"

I tie my apron around my waist again. "yep, 7 pm" I say picking up her plate

"I'll see you then, bye"

"bye"

I turn around and take her plate back to the kitchen then going back to cleaning up, out the corner of my eye I spot Amanda sneakily taking a picture of Bill and his group, they must either be pretty famous or she's a creepy stalker.

I turn to look at her and she gives me a discusted look as if I were the one taking the picture of them with out their permission, which is illegal. I roll my eyes and turn back around and continue to clear a table.

After about 15 minutes I quickly glance at Bill's table and notice they have finished eating and have stacked the plates, gosh I love when people do that, I walk over to the table.

"hi did you find everything alright"

"we did, thank you. Actually can we have 3 waters please"

"of course just let me take your stuff away and I'll get them for you straight away"

I pick the plates up and take them away to the kitchen. I walk over to the fridge and pick 3 bottles of water out, I grab 3 glasses and place some ice in the them . I pour the water into the cups and then place them on a small round tray.

I use my hip to push open the kitchen door because I have both my hands on the tray trying not to spill the drinks.

Carefully I walk over to the table, I manage to successfully not spill the water.

"here's your water" I place the drinks on the table and pick up the other cups and take them away.

It's five minutes until my shift ends, I'm cleaning down a table when I feel a tap on my shoulder, I straighten up and turn around to see who it was

"hi, i wanted to know if you wanted to go somewhere after your shift ends"

"oh Um sure I finish in about 5 minutes"

I look at the clock to see thay my shift has ended, I go into the kitchen and hang up my apron and pick up my bag.

"bye nelly. See you Thursday"

I walk back into the dining area and spot bill on his table, his group left about 10 minutes ago, looking down at his phone, his back was facing me so it was pretty easy to sneak up on him. I creep up behind him and peer over his shoulder. My face is next to his right ear

"what ya doing"

Bill jumped ever so slightly, I was expecting more of a reaction but its still a reaction.

I laugh slightly, Bill stands up from the table and slides his phone into his back pocket of his baggy jeans.

[chogiwow]

in search of happiness | part one.

pairing: bang chan x gn! reader

genre: heavy angst, hurt-comfort, fluff undertones

wc: part one : 20.6k+

warnings: suicidal themes, suicide attempt, drowning, dysfunctional family, death, smoking, major character death, themes of depression, mentions of anxiety, cancer (minor character), language, heavy themes, suggestive, eventual smut (there will be allusions, but i’m hoping i won’t have to write actual smut for this).

a/n: she is back bitches

PART I | PART II | PART III | PART IV

ONE – UNWASHED DISHES IN THE SINK. 

It's a Saturday afternoon, and Kim’s Diner is brimming with locals and tourists alike during a particularly busy lunch hour.

The suds of the dishwater splatters on your arm, tiny bubbles staining the sleeve of your old black sweater before getting swallowed into the fabric in an oval patch. The lingering worry of the rolled up sleeves getting drenched is drowned in the pile of dishes waiting to be washed and dried, something Minho reminds you of with an attempt to hurry you up in the process with a subtle threat of the orders on hold. It mocks you, somewhat.

You can smell it, the oily meat and the spicy soup in the midst of the lemony scent of the dish soap, clanging of pots and ladles behind your back and the swift hands working their knives into chopping vegetables.

A bead of sweat slides down the side of your face, falling into the sink, the tiny kitchen cramped and hot, making you perspire and wipe your face, but you resist the urge to rub the tingling left behind by the trickling sweat down the side of your face in the fear of getting soap bubbles all over your face. That would certainly be a gross feeling.

The bell on the wall dings, another order slip clipped to the wire mesh across the small window separating the dining and the kitchen area, a new set of instructions being yelled. Another portion of soup, another plate of grilled meat, a bowl of udon, pan fried noodles; a loud chorus of yells break out, everybody scattering towards their workstations – in essence it’s mostly the same, because the restaurant doesn’t offer much when it comes to a diverse platter. Not that you were catering to people with a refined palette, it was a small local restaurant tucked away in a small cranny of the hill where everybody knew everybody, and for those who had been living here for years, they didn’t even require the menus – now yellowed and fraying at the edges of its lamination, the plastic bent and peeling.

Stacking the last plate onto the drying rack, Felix is quick to take over, smiling at you as he picks up the dry cloth and wipes them down before putting them away carefully on the shelves. Removing your pink scrubbing gloves, your attention is called to the front where Mr. Kim – the owner, a man in his sixties now, who mainly mans the front desk and chats with the customers, giving free reign to the younger generation after keeping this place alive for almost thirty years– asks you to serve and clean up tables. A sharp pain jolts through your left wrist, the first sign of a terrible ache seeping through your bones. You ignore it.

Untying the damp apron from around your waist, you leave the chaos of the kitchen, wiping your sweat on your sweater sleeves only to shiver when you push open the door into the diner, the sudden change in temperature noticeable and a temporary respite from the heat of the oils and spices, but only for so long since it would eventually start to feel much too cold out here as it got darker outside.

It’s not long after that the chilly air makes you pull your sleeves down, your loose knitted sweater too flimsy for withstanding the cold by itself, but hustling around the diner helps you disregard the occasional gusts of winds through the open doors and cracks in the windows.

The restaurant itself was a quaint little thing with white stone walls, the telltale coziness of being perched atop a hill between tall trees, aged with vines draped around its chipping paint like a dress made of leaves, flagged along the perimeter by small ground lights, all glowing in different intensities with age. A wooden sign with roughened edges now fading engravings of ‘Kim’s Diner’ hung above the door.

Nobody minded the worn out wooden furniture and the same old chequered tablecloths in red and white, if anything, there was a sense of familiarity to it all, like a place preserved in memory for years, still running and still alive.

Tucked in the hills, the sloping terracotta roofs perched up were visible from the foot of the hill, burnt brick and missing a few tiles, but a certain landmark even still after years. The huge trees almost clamped down like an overgrown canopy, wide steps with moss carpets gradually merging into a downward slope leading down to the main hill town, but it was a decent walk downhill and the spot where the restaurant was nestled felt like a secret shared by the people of this small hill town.

You liked it up here though, leaning against the rusty railings to look down upon the town under a darkening sky, lights blinking into life and people walking by; nothing seemed rushed, it wasn’t quiet but it was calm.

From where you leaned across the table, running a slightly damp cloth over the plastic covering the tablecloth, you spot a figure through the window with bright blonde hair climbing up the stairs, struggling to breath and bending against their knees to catch his breath. Another tourist, you suppose, from the looks of their bright hair and camera bag strapped across their shoulder.

They stop for a moment, leaning against the balusters of the long railings, their profile inclined sideways such that the foggy windows don't let you have a good look at their face, but you discern it to be a man. You stare for a while at the broad back, the weather inappropriate attire of a simple brown cashmere sweater with the neck of a white t-shirt visible under the collar unsurprising, since most tourists didn’t often feel the cold of the hills as you did, usually coming from lands hotter and their winters more cruel that the winds of the hills were but a mere breeze of respite after a long day of hiking for them.

Inhaling a long breath, he’s still for a few seconds, eyes closed and turned towards the sky as if soaking in the winter sun, lips parting when he exhales through his mouth, chest heaving at the slight exertion, one strap of his bag slipping off his shoulder before he pulls it back up.

A low rumble echoes and you're momentarily distracted, your eyes turning towards the sky which was starting to turn grey, the clouds slowly rolling in and you knew the evening would get chillier if it indeed rained. The thought makes you shiver, drawing the knitted sweater closer around you, too flimsy for the incoming weather, the familiar sting in your wrist explained.

Placing the salt and pepper shakers beside the napkin stand, you attend to a call of a bottle of soju, pacing towards the refrigerator and pulling out a chilled bottle of the drink before placing it on the table with a shot glass for the customer.

Felix calls from the front, order for table seven ready to be served and you make your way to the serving counter, placing the hot steaming bowls of udon and a set of chopsticks each, swishing it away amongst the loud chatter and gradually louder rumbling of the skies with a practised proficiency, almost missing the ding of the bell that goes off when the front door opens.

You're in a hurry to serve though, not catching the person entering and by the time you've placed the dishes down in front of the hungry teenagers who ordered them, you only catch the same broad back with a mop of brilliant blonde hair walking towards one of the tables and sitting with their back facing towards you. The tourist from before.

The first few drops of rain are fat droplets of water, you’re in the kitchen again, the steam of dimsums and steamed vegetables greeting you as you stir a pot of clear soup, heating it exactly for three minutes and then ladling the slightly frothy and thickened with cornstarch liquid into white bowls, plating them on a large tray, ready to be handed out. With Seungmin, your usual helping hand, on a three day leave, you suddenly found yourself helping with the serving and cooking simultaneously, Felix helping you out as much as he could but he could only do so much, especially when Minho required him in the back, chopping and cooking. Regardless, you appreciated the help and didn’t mind the extra work.

There wasn’t really a concept of the intricacies of cooking like in high end restaurants such as the ones in the city, in fact, all the recipes were a Kim family heirloom, handed down through generations before Minho came and changed up the dynamic in his own way without ever entirely changing the essence of it. The noodles were handmade, the vegetables cut using only a knife, without worrying about the exact thickness of the onion  rings – at the end of the day, really, no one cared about all that fancy stuff, satisfied to just be able to enjoy the same old dishes.

Maybe that’s why you stayed, even though you had craved change so longingly. In the end, you only found comfort in what was familiar.

A new order is strung up on the mesh wire. You’re already out the doors with the previous order, the rain now having picked up pace and turned into a steady drizzle. It already smelled like wet earth and freshly mown grass. You have no time to stop and appreciate the scenery though, quite literally hustling now since it was only you on serving duty now.

The sound of chatter increases, the rain falls harder, harsher, the already dim diner turns darker and gloomier, only alive with the constant chattering of people and the sound of cutlery. Felix rings from the front, handing you the order for table number five, a two seater near the window where the blonde haired tourist sat, head turned towards the window and watching the rain as it poured now.

You smile and lift the tray, wincing when your wrist bends a bit too painfully, almost dropping the tray but you’re quick to disregard it as you move with caution now, slightly breathless at the exertion. You might not be complaining but it seemed like you did mind the lack of another helping hand what with the diner being busier on weekends.

“Order for dim sums and udon,” you say, carefully picking up the bowl and pot of steamed dim sums and placing them on the table with a pair of chopsticks, “enjoy your meal.”

You look up at the man, your perfunctory smile for the customers already making its way up to your lips before you abruptly stop short, lips awkwardly turning back down in belated realisation.

You stare at the man with a breath you don’t even realise you’re holding, the cogs in your brain positively churning, and yet you don’t exude the bewilderment on your face, containing it in your chest with pursed lips and a choked up throat.

“Hey (y/n), it’s been a while…” the man smiles, the dimples on his cheeks deepening then vanishing when he realises you don’t return his greeting.

Your claw-like hold around the tray goes limp, almost slipping through your fingers as you stare dumbstruck and quite idiotically. The rain pounds on the roof like a torrent of bullets outside as if to maim, trees swaying under nature's assault, the diner lights up in a yellow glow under the darkening sky. 

A jolt of pain surges through your wrist again, your fingers twitching against the serving dish. The noise in the diner heightens, a dull throb in your head like blood rushing up too suddenly, the heat from the kitchen suddenly turned reminiscent even though you had just been in there not even five minutes ago.

A loud gust of wind blows through the cracks of the doors and windows, carrying with it tiny splatters of rain that tickle the back of your neck as it seeps through your loose knitted sweater and settles like a chill in your bones.

It doesn’t bother you.

TWO – ON A SATURDAY AFTERNOON.

It was late by the time Chan woke up.

Rubbing his eyes groggily, he groaned at the light filtering through his windows, covering his face with his hands, his limbs still weighing him down in a relaxed state on his worn out mattress. The time on his phone read way past noon, and with an absentmindedness induced by his just woken up mind, he noted that this was by far the most he had slept in an entire week.

Sitting up on his bed, he scratches his naked chest, recalling getting rid of his shirt sometime in the middle of the night when he kept tossing and turning against his sheets. Lazily stretching out his limbs, he lets out a loud yawn that makes his jaw hurt and eyes tear up.

He has no plans today, except staying at home and studying for semester finals. He wasn’t looking forward to it, his body promptly confirming that doubt when he plopped back down, head hitting the pillow with a dull throb.

His phone buzzed somewhere around him, his hands prodding and searching amongst the scrambled up sheets for the device. A message from Jisung reminding him to cover his afternoon shift at the cafe and thanking him yet again. He groans when he realises he promised Jisung to cover for him today and only had a little more than two hours to get ready and as he had been putting it these days, get his shit together. Two hours was more than enough, it wasn’t like he had much to do except shower, eat and smoke a cigarette.

His thumb scrolled through his planner app, his day cleared off his usual ‘history - finish module 1’ to ‘cafe shift!’, the former shifted to a later part of the day since weekends were mostly flexible for him.

Chan had fallen into a habit of planning his days, which meant every day on his calendar had been planned to the T weeks prior, from exactly every single activity and chore he would carry out the following month so that by the end of it, he had something going on for him. If Friday was grocery shopping, then no matter how tired he was after an extended tutoring session, he’d be there at the 24/7 mart at three AM, slapping watermelons to check their ripeness or grabbing whatever was left of the fresh kale in the isles.

For the majority of his day, he was impelled to study for his finals in a week from now, hunched over his desk cramming his History of Photography III textbook wondering why this was necessary in the first place, while he tried not to be distracted by the imposing anxieties of the world waiting for him after these last few months of the protection of his university.

In his final year of his photography major, he couldn’t deny the increasing apprehension of having to step out from under the protective umbrella over his head, his professor’s chimes of his prodigal achievements deemed smaller and superficial the nearer he approached his graduation. Already politely turned away from three interning companies, his alleged talent was under full threat of being judged and tossed aside as an average to decent performance. He still had a few months, but time either seemed to slow down on some days and yet on others speed past him in a whimsical blur where he would be left reeling under his unproductiveness and the growing pain in his chest of not being enough.

His planning had not all been in vain; he had started off with a fresh mind, keeping up with applying for internships, completing his assignments all the while working at a cafe that had been a godsend in the form of Jisung and his unusual knack for convincing the manager to get another barista even though they weren’t short of staff, and on some days doing photoshoots for weddings and the fashion department for a decent wage. He was adulting, and though his sixteen year old self had looked forward to the prospect of this notion, now he wanted nothing but to go back to those days.

It was this same prospect that had excited him when he received a full scholarship to his university in Seoul. Much of his life, all he could remember was spending it in the hills, where even though the weather was pleasant and the people were kind, his starry eyed dreams as a teenager to leave that small town and move to a metropolitan city had been a fixation – a drive for him to work hard and shoot his shot and get out of that place.

It was nice for a while, he was in his honeymoon phase, quite literally marvelling at the fast paced life in the streets, adrenaline filled lungs breathing in the new life excitedly till his nights bled into days which bled into more nights and not long after, he felt like he was dangling from the hands of a clock that dictated every move he made.

He forgot about his home in the meantime, so caught up in the chaos of everyday life, of the same smell of coffee and baked buns, the same fabric of his brown apron, the same bus to the university campus, the same classes with a professor droning on about visual literacy, the same stick of cigarette dangling between his lips, the same stress of finals every year. Same, same, same. Boring. Mundane. Exhausting.

The stars in his eyes dulled with every passing day, his room often reeked of takeout food, prints upon prints of films lay in a scatter across his desk, none of them seemingly what people were looking for.

Turning the shower cap on, Chan lets himself dwell on his mundanity, at the end of the day he was another faceless person in the crowd because the city was too big and too grand and too dazzling that it hid all other beings in its shadows. It was a big wide hole, a void sucking everybody in. Chan was also lost somewhere in there, lured in by the diamond like gleam at first sight, only to be trapped in a tedious life where he competed against himself every day without knowing what he was competing for. It was like sitting in a test without knowing what he was to be tested on.

The water spurts out ice like in the cold January, making him flinch when it hits him out of nowhere. But he stays rooted under the showerhead, standing his ground till he got used to the temperature and the water gradually turns lukewarm. It reminds him of a memory in the back of his head, of children squealing and a water fight. He urges the images to go away, inexplicably chastised at the mere thought of it. He was no child anymore, whining for a nostalgic summer in the cold months.

The water has always been Chan’s greatest friend.

In fact, he’d go as far as to say that it’s been a sort of companion to him when he was younger. He claims so only because of a vivid recollection of throwing himself in the huge wave with his dad yelling at him before two strong arms picked him up and away from the clutches of the water.

He had whined, missing the way the foamy waves had engulfed him in a topaz hug, the sand under his feet dissolving like air through his toes, the silky curtain leaving him drenched and longing for a taste of more. He whined and whined and whined till at last he was sent to swimming lessons just to shut him up. That, and also, his parents didn’t want their son to drown doing something reckless like that again.

He was comfortable in the water. It held him snuggly in its embrace and when he dunked his head underneath and opened his eyes, he was met with a blue silence that deafened any other noise with its dulcet palms over his ears.

Under the comfort of the transparent blanket, the voices and shapes above his head were garbled and distorted and a part of him liked that. A part of him liked to envision those shapes as blurry blobs speaking a gibberish language. He didn’t have to put a name to them nor try to distinguish them from one another; a childhood fantasy that became a habit and stuck like a leech to him.

It’s a calming fixation on most days now when he doesn’t have to worry about his career. But of course, we will talk about it, because there’s a trouble plaguing everybody in the small nooks and crannies of their life, some people just let it stay there, oblivious to its existence and others have a hard time fighting it off when it seeps into their bones like moist vapour, settling down heavily in the calcium crevices.

Chan likes to believe this process of staying underwater for as long as his lungs permits him to, now heavy with the smoke he’s injected in them, as cathartic. A shit load of help that is when he’s vividly aware of his rotting insides with what he had done to them himself, but regardless, he likes to think that the longer he stays in water, he’s ridding himself of the plague that is always a hair’s breadth away from attaching themselves to his core, except he takes the extra measure of ensuring that he’s inhaling chlorine water if he loses control and spluttering in surprise as if that weren’t his intention from the start.

He wouldn’t like to admit it, but it was his coping mechanism as Jisung had put it so blatantly, because doing so would mean he needed help. He didn’t need help. He just liked to hold his breath underwater when things got slightly inconvenient, but that did not equate to needing help.

He’s out of the shower soon enough, draping on a black hoodie in his cramped one-and-a-half room apartment, the most he could afford under his crippling student loan, strolling towards the tiny refrigerator for breakfast. There’s only some leftover kimchi, a day-old kimbap roll and ripe bananas.

Chan didn’t have a dining table, he didn’t deem it necessary, rather a hassle to fit it into his tiny apartment, especially when he ate all his meals alone, which he could do perfectly well sitting on the ground with his back against his beaten down couch, the plastic takeout containers placed on the low coffee table and his laptop beside it, playing some movie he put on for the sake of a break from his hectic days.

Yet, he wasn’t entirely unhappy with the way things had turned out. His gaze trails up from where he sat on the couch, the wall in front of him bereft of any photo frames but filled with strings of polaroids and sticky notes. The grainy films with smiling people – his friends, sticky notes, crumpled and some torn and taped back with silly doodles and one with a lipstick stain – Chan still smiles, even though the paper jaggedly torn and the number of the girl who hit on him at the bar two years ago tossed out a long time ago, Hyunjin had thought it funny to add the memento to a growing collection of silly, smiling people on the wall. He was happy, he was fine. He had friends, they loved him and he loved them.

But why couldn’t he smile? Why were his muscles so tense and tired? The food in his mouth suddenly feels too hard to chew, his jaws aching and throat burning when he swallows. His eyes suddenly blurry, a thin curtain of moisture veils them. One moment he swallowed the smoke of his cigarette and the very next he gasped for air like a novice beginner.

He was fine, but he sat there with a mouthful of rice and kimchi as the tears rolled down his face in a gentle stream.

THREE – UNFINISHED CHAPTERS

The present would not exist for you had there not been a past.

In hindsight, everything that you did now, whatever you were now, had all been because of who you had been in the past, or rather whatever scraps the past had left you to be sewn.

You wake up rested, but even more exhausted than when you went to bed. Your days sewing a paradoxical blanket whose weight you had gotten used to.

You’ve never paid much attention to how people around you felt, because mostly they were happier than you were with dysfunctional families and it only rooted a sense of deep reproach in you; how were you not allowed to be this happy? How could people smile and pretend the stench of their broken homes didn’t stick on their clothes and seep through their skin, following them around wherever they went? How did people go around you without feeling the continuous need to scratch that itch of jealousy and resentfulness of not having what someone else did?

You realised it was so jarringly easy to disassociate yourself from all that under a pair of chocolate eyes that stared down at you kindly, just a sliver of boyish mischievousness behind them, but the inexplicable yet unavoidable comfort of slowly easing yourself into a sense of warmth that they brought.

It's the smallest of things that lead to a bigger plan premeditated all along and in your case it was the forgotten pencil pouch on your study table at home that fateful Wednesday morning. Of course you scrambled around, rummaging through your bag in the hopes of finding a stray pen in the depths of it, but it was no luck and you had resigned yourself to borrowing one from the person sitting behind you except, he seemed to have beaten you to it.

Three little taps on your shoulder had you turning around to a kind smile and an upraised hand with a pencil between its fingers, motioning at you to take it.

You decided then that you didn’t like this boy.

It was an impulsive decision, yet it was one of those intuitive feelings of having an immaculate dislike to someone who didn’t mind being scoffed for helping the scapegoat of the class, perfectly capable of ignoring the disbelieving stares of his classmates.

Had the sixteen year old you sensed an ulterior motive to his actions? Or had you just reproached the genuinity in his eyes? You had ultimately accepted his offering, the wooden stick with its yellow plastic wrapping around its shaft feeling alien against your fingers, but before long you had learnt to ignore the confused glares directed towards you and pressed the lead against your workbook as you proceeded to work in silence.

You weren’t at the extreme brunt of your class’s ramifications of simply wanting to be on the top of something, but you weren’t exactly the most ingrained in its social gratifications either; it was perhaps your aloofness to it all that made you a part of the outcasts. So far, eating alone had worked out for you, jogging along the track at your own pace had suited you, spending your time in one corner of the library in your free time had been gratifying.

In spite of making it clear that it was what you preferred, you found yourself being plagued by him at all times. Those brown eyes seemed to be looking out for you everywhere you went and the kind smile always curled on his lips when you finally took notice. You didn’t like it, not one bit, starting from the way the chair beside you at lunch was always occupied, there was always a pair of panting lungs when you jogged along the track field and the ever so present sound of pages being flicked in your ears in a spot in the library that was supposed to be only yours.

You didn’t like finding yourself gazing up at a pair of chocolate orbs, drowning you in their depths every time you stared too hard, a beat longer than you were supposed to. An unusual friendship bloomed out of it, one where you reprised your aloofness and Chan, his endearing demeanour of sticking to you like a leech. The much too energetic one and the much too tired one – a dynamic your classmates had never expected, but you weren’t complaining when it acted like a shield before eventually, they started to take less notice of you. Or transitioning to high school made them mature.

Your dislike for him did not arise of its own accord; at first it had been a conscious decision to resent someone who looked happier than you. But even the most stubborn person can be moved by genuinity, and you had never quite turned entirely stone cold stubborn. Perhaps he had saved you in a way, for a brief moment, but he had prevented you from walking down the steps of the dark void.

Where does one even start with Chan? In all fairness, you didn’t think you would ever have to start with him again; he was an unfinished chapter in your book you had long decided to omit. You were sure if you were to ever pen down your autobiography, you would not mention him in the least, treating him like the air around you, unnecessary to bring to notice.

But even air is ever so present, though not required to be brought up in everyday conversations because of its unconsciously silent presence.

He would be there, under countless drafts of your uneventful life, the pages filled with a curly haired, brown-eyed boy whose cheeks blossomed into dimples when he smiled. It was romantic, it was tragic. It was a story you wished would never end, but even so, the gurgling pit in your stomach ever so present served as a reminder that every story has an ending.

The only thing worse than having an ending would be an unfinished book. You hid under the cover of the pristine pages under this reassurance, that Chan would not be an unfulfilled fragment of memory you would jot down in ink like a summer dream, before exactly that happened. Aloofness causes no pain until brought to reality.

The basis of your friendship lay on a strong foundation of your peculiarly clashing personalities, interests and fears.

While Chan was a social butterfly in your school, you were the quiet one simply there for education. Making friends had never been your forte nor was that on the forefront of your mind for as long as you could remember. Till Chan, quite literally, thrust himself into your life.

Yet, quite amusingly, he was the one who made you resent the water less.

There has only been one instance you’ve had a brush with (almost) drowning, but it made you regard the prospect of even stepping near a water body a daunting and scary once.

The first time it was in second grade, the time when people this age are usually immature little brats and would do anything for the sake of entertainment. You had only learnt how to doggy paddle and float in water, but even so the thought of trying to stay afloat in the 6 feet deep end, the idea of not being able to feel the ground with your feet, had daunted you and you pretty much made it through every time by just swimming along the length in quick strokes till you were certain the water didn’t reach above your waist with your feet touched the slippery ground beneath.

It was an unpleasant surprise therefore, to find yourself being pushed into the deeper end out of nowhere, your body falling straight down vertically and your inability to come up to the surface making you take huge gulps of air which in turn only choked you more. It was quite a scene, your limbs flailing and silent screams of help escaping in bubbles through your lips.

You never went near a pool again. 

Almost four years later, you feel yourself drowning in a set of familiar eyes you had already once found yourself a victim to ages ago. The familiarity was nostalgic, akin somewhat to finding a lost piece of jewellery years later after you thought you had lost it. And it was so different. It was breathing and suffocating at the same time, it was fear and euphoria in a concoction, it was too much all at once. You liked it. You hated it. You hated liking it. You liked hating it. You… you missed it. You didn’t resent it.

You find yourself getting drawn into those eyes again, perhaps similar to the way you had back then, ever since, but you've never quite been able to place this feeling.

You've both changed drastically, it’s not just physically you’re sure; he looks wiser, more tired and much more mature. You catch a whiff of mint breath fresheners, a scent you had never associated with him but nonetheless so characteristic of him, you couldn’t call it alien or unlikely of him to adopt it.

Yet it's more than that, he is just so... so very beautiful.

You blink.

Once, twice and thrice. He grows shy (or perhaps uncomfortable) under your gaze, flickering his eyes down to the condensing drops of water glazing around his cup of iced tea, beaded diamonds easily destructible with a flick of his fingers. He twists his digits in his lap, resisting the urge to do so.

You wonder what would have happened had you not forgotten your pencil case at home that Wednesday morning.

“Hi Chan, long time…”

The din inside the restaurant feels like white noise, it’s everywhere, sticking to your thin sweater, buzzing through your hair, nipping at your skin.

“Long time indeed…”

You smell like dishwater and oil. Chan smells like breath mints.

“Good to…see you?”

White noise. Humming, buzzing, electrifying. Everywhere; on your skin, on your clothes, in your hair.

“Yeah. Yeah, you too.”

“Enjoy your food then.”

Perunctionary smile, polite bow, retreating steps.

“Um (y/n),” a halt in your steps, you turn around, “we should…hang out some time. Catch up, maybe?”

Expectant eyes, hopeful voice, cautious words.

Do you want to finish this chapter after all?

FOUR – ICED TEA IN A SPOT OF SUN.

Most people don’t understand the amount of theoretical knowledge that goes into a major like photography, it’s not always pointing a lens wherever you want and taking a picture. Anybody can do that, anybody can be good at taking pictures without having to pay for a degree for the same.

Nonetheless, Chan rose beyond the intimidating notion of having to do well. He enjoyed what he did, had a passion for it and therefore he thought he could make it past four years banking only on his passion and talent.

What nobody told him was the world outside was too cold, too frigid – downright ignorant of him and his flame that sputtered out the second he stepped outside. He was a nobody in the huge bowl of success stories chosen at random by the universe. 

In fact, who was Chan at this point? What was he?

Another product of the society that force feeds their generation to do well…. No, he had risen above that semantic error, he had worked hard, he had understood every single text and every single parabolic function in his textbooks rather than remembered them by heart before throwing up the texts jammed in his head on his exam papers.

He read every single book like they held the world’s greatest information, studied extra hard, solved equations for the mere fun of it all because he wanted to understand; he wanted to know the working behind them, dismantle them and play with them.

And yet here he was, twenty four and supposedly much wiser than when he was in middle school, and still! He understood nothing, what was he supposed to be doing?

All his life, he had been fed the grains of being a talented individual, sure to do great things, of having such a pleasant personality, someone who would never hurt a fly. Someone loved, adored and precious to not just family and acquaintances but even to fleeting strangers who strayed into his life momentarily.

It’s admittedly easier to hold back on such thoughts as of the moment though, when Chan is busy battling the cobwebs all over his clothes and sneezing into his hands so he doesn’t further unsettle all the dust around him.

Since the day he arrived, he’s been at the gargantuan task of cleaning up his old house in the hills. Granted, his parents had put it out for rent even as a holiday home, they had never hired someone to regularly keep this place in check. Now that their son was back in the hills for a few months at the most, they were more than happy to let him stay sans the rent.

While it wasn’t all that bad, he would have to call in for some minor plumbing work and look at the light out front in the porch since it wouldn’t work and he had almost tripped on his own feet trying to navigate his way to the front door through the dark.

Though only a week had passed, he had not made his presence known explicitly. He knew for a fact that you and Minho had stayed back, he wasn’t sure he was up for a rendezvous with the town people. It wasn’t like him to avoid social gatherings, he had indeed noticed most of the older folks who were still here, but he would much rather have some time to himself before stepping out and announcing his visit.

So he busied himself with cleaning up the house, turning down his mother’s proposal to find a helping hand, insisting that he would rather do it himself. He needed that time for himself, and though a helping hand sounded like a godsend, the ache in his back every night he went to bed almost felt gratifying. The dust in his nose and the grit under his nails did not.

Though a part of him was slightly impatient in wanting to reach out to his old friends, it was also equally anxiety inducing to anticipate your reactions. Where does one even start with such things? Back in the city, it was easy to lose connection for weeks during finals, but there was an unspoken bond of reconnecting right after with a simple text and a coffee date down a few blocks.

Chan hasn’t been here in almost four years. That was four years of lost contact and unknowingly, it was suddenly starting to weigh down on him of how quickly the time had passed by without him even noticing. How do you reconnect with friends you haven’t talked to in so long?

The answer came in the form of his front door ringing on his fourth day while he was in the midst of scrubbing a particularly stubborn spot of grime on the floor.

He opened the door wearing his rubber gloves, sweating and with a frown at the interruption. The moment the stranger makes themself known, Chan is gasping in recognition and grinning almost like his ten year old self had – all too bubbly and pleasantly surprised.

“Minho! Holy shit!”

The boy in question smiles back gleefully, pulling Chan in for a hug disregarding the protest and a faint cry of dirty gloves and clothes.

Chan pulls back and stands at his doorstep, watching almost in awe as Minho takes his shoes off and lifts up a box wrapped in blue cloth, grinning down at the boy who had been a dominant part of his childhood. He still had his catty eyes and pouty smile and was as tall as Chan himself, maybe even taller, definitely a toned physique since when he last saw him in high school. Still reeling under slight shock, he realises he hasn’t stopped ogling at the boy till pointed out rather sassily by him.

“I know I grew up handsome and all, butt geez, are you gonna invite me in or stand here the whole day?”

Letting out a fond scoff, Chan leads him in, still grinning.

Minho sits on the floor where Chan had laid out a jute mattress for the time being, all his furniture subjected to a rough dusting and cleaning out in the backyard where they now sat basking in the sun before he would bring them in later in the evening.

“Sorry for the mess, and uh, lack of furniture,” Chan remarks sheepishly, bringing out a large glass flask of filled honey lemon tea and two glasses, “I’ve been making this place habitable again.”

“No worries, I don’t mind.”

Chan adjusts the table fan to face them, taking a seat beside him in a spot of sunlight streaming in through the huge windows in the front. Though colder in the evenings and at night, Chan lived at the foot of the hill where it was comparatively warmer for most part of the day and his house always received a good spot of the sun during afternoons.

Minho takes a swig from his cup, letting out a sigh of satisfaction when the cold drink hits the right spots and pushes the box towards Chan.

“I brought you some food, guessed you could use some when I heard you’ve been ordering takeout for three days straight.”

Chan eagerly unwraps the bundled knot to find a huge wooden lunch box sitting within.

“Thanks a lot Minho, your mom sent this?”

“Nope, I made it.”

“You did?!”

Minho scoffed at the look of surprise on Chan’s face and he worried he might have offended him in some way, but before he could apologise, Minho cut in.

“Yeah, I went to culinary school and know how to cook now, surprise!”

If anything, all the new information was only slightly overwhelming to Chan who was still getting used to his old friend’s presence again in his childhood home. It was reminiscent and nostalgic.

“That’s great! We should…we should catch up some day, there’s so much I want to talk about.”

“I’m sure there is,” Minho smiles and Chan can place him again in his memories of a sixteen year old nerdy boy with a shy smile and glasses, “I would love to as well. You should come over to Kim’s Diner, it’s on the top of the hill. I work there now.”

“Hey, I remember Kim’s Diner. Wow, you work there now…that’s just…wow.”

Minho laughs again at his friend’s disbelief. It was fascinating how much had changed in the past few years and yet, now that they sat here chatting and catching up, it was easy as always to laugh and smile in each other’s presence.

“So…culinary school huh? I always thought you would either end up majoring in CS or performing arts maybe. Not that it’s not good, I just mean, you know…you were always inclined towards those.”

Minho contemplates the question for a while, leaning back on his palms and stretching his toes in the sunlight. Chan takes the time to gaze at him more; he really has changed so much. His naturally black hair was dyed a dark midnight blue now, falling gracefully across his eyes that were bereft of the glasses he had been so used to. His hands are more callused and the veins visible, posture so much more mature and confident. Lee Minho had grown up so well, and a surge of pride flowed through Chan at the sight. He was happy for the man Minho had become and proud of him even though he didn’t know all that was to know yet. But that was okay, they will catch up gradually. Yet, there was no doubt Chan would only feel more proud of his friend.

“I guess I didn’t see it coming either. It just sort of happened. I think I met Seungmin around that time and he may have hinted that I could make some real use of this talent. The rest is sort of history.”

“Seungmin?” Chan asks, not missing the fond smile on Minho’s face.

“My boyfriend.”

“Huh?!” 

“Why, is there a problem?” There was a split second of defensiveness to his tone that is not lost on Chan but he'll be damned if Chan made the impression of being against it.

“I mean! I don’t care if you date boys…I mean I care of course, but like– not as in…it’s not a problem, not that I consider it one! I just meant that you– that…”

Minho cocks a brow at his friend, stifling the laughter bubbling up his chest at the way Chan’s ears grew hot and red and the man basically stuttered his way through the piece of information.

“It’s just…you keep dropping all this stuff out of nowhere, I’m just surprised. In a good way, I mean!”

With that Minho finally laughs, and it’s only then that Chan can really recognise his friend behind all the changes. The soft tinkle of his voice and the uncontained glee as he almost rolls on the floor. Ah yes, this was Lee Minho indeed – his childhood friend.

Chan cracks a smile, joining in the laughter and sipping iced tea late into the afternoon. They talk a lot, from university to life in the city and the hills and old memories and friends and all the new people in their lives but there’s still so much to uncover and so little time.

It was around half past five when Minho finally stretched on his spot on the floor and sat up.

“I should head back now, I need to start preparing for the dinner shift. Besides, Seungmin’s leaving for Seoul tonight, I promised to spend some time with him.”

“Oh?” Chan remarks, sitting up too from where he had been slouching against the wall, “he’s leaving tonight? I was hoping I could meet him.”

“Oh don’t worry, he’ll be back in a few days. He got invited to a teaching camp for extra credits and he intends to go. You know Shinha University in the next town? He works there as a TA.” Minho says with some pride.

Chan nods in acknowledgement, walking Minho to the door where the latter struggles to wear his shoes standing up, eliciting an amused chuckle from him.

“Hyung, you should come to the diner tomorrow. I’ll treat you to a meal and…you can also meet (y/n).”

For the first time since the afternoon, Minho had almost cautiously let your name slip into the conversation. He would like to think it sneaky of him, but the stunned look on Chan’s face almost made him feel guilty for not mentioning your earlier.

Chan on the other hand simply stood and stared at Minho who met his gaze sheepishly.

“(y/n) is…still here?”

Minho nods, shoving his hands inside his pocket.

“Oh. I guess I could drop by sometime this week.”

Biting his lips, Minho contemplates his next words carefully, trying to decipher what the smile on Chan’s face meant and whether he had crossed the line or not. When it seemed like Chan wasn’t upset at him, he ventures to say:

“We all missed you, you know? And…(y/n) had a bit of a hard time after you left,” taking a deep breath, he confesses, “but you’re back now so…so maybe we could all catch up.”

Breathlessly, Chan nods with a clenched jaw. He forces himself to keep smiling though his chest has suddenly started weighing down on him. He knows that Minho probably didn’t mean to keep your being here a secret, but just the minuscule realisation that he had waited until he was leaving made him wonder whether this had been the intent of his visit after all. Regardless, the soft undertone to his words was not lost on him and he was thankful to Minho for letting him know.

“We will Minho, I promise. I just gotta…figure some stuff out and then I can face my past I guess.” A light chuckle follows his statement and Minho smiles, tight lipped.

Chan bids him a good night and stands on his porch, staring at Minho’s back till it grows smaller the further he walks away. The sun was already touching the tip of the mountains by the time he retreated into his house, picking up the empty glasses and placing them in the sink.

Though for a moment Chan wanted to believe he could carry on with a few more chores before night fell, he doesn’t let himself feel too bad when he retires into his room and flops down on the mattress with a thump.

Closing his eyes, he drifts into a slumber, gulping down the thoughts of facing his past and a certain someone who kept plaguing his mind all night.

FIVE – MINT AND NICOTINE.

When Chan had left right after graduating high school, a part of him had also been sad regardless of the exciting prospect of a new life awaiting him.

He had to ultimately leave his friends behind and too many memories that had been a part of him since childhood. He felt like he was trying to bury their existence by leaving and it filled him up with immense guilt at the thought.

Yet, perhaps the most heartbreaking part would have been your muffled sobs against his chest, your hot tears falling into his red scarf and soaked up into a wet patch. He might have shed some tears too, but in his grief stricken mind, he had been too concerned with your sobs that had threatened to wrench his heart and tear it in two.

You had known, even then, that Chan would leave one day; that this sedentary lifestyle would never suit him and there lay your varying personalities. All you knew, and accounted it to therefore, was that he had always been a restless person. Always looking to do something all the time.

Sitting and merely observing like you, was not a glove he fit into. Always volunteering for events, the first one to suggest dragging you around town during your breaks against your protests which were laughed off with a promise of a fun time. You didn’t want a fun time; you wanted to stay home and sleep in till well past noon and spend the remaining of your day reading. Chan wanted nothing more than to be the one to teach you how to swim.

It was a fateful summer. Eventful, mostly for him. While you spluttered in four feet water, he swam past you in obnoxious strokes, splashing your face with more water. It enraged you, and yet you didn’t just up and leave, fumed at him maybe but he took it all in stride.

You wonder why he stuck by you, you used to have such an awful temper, even you wouldn’t want to spend time with yourself.

But Chan was driven by his restlessness, his enigmatic soul if you may. You may have learnt to float and master the front stroke at the cost of many a gleeful and not-so-peaceful days, but watching Chan glide in the pool like a fish, as if it were his natural habitat, was a reward in itself. It was peaceful too, simply sitting with your feet dipped in water while he bobbed up and down in the water gracefully.

Unaffiliating yourself from the constant presence of the boy you had grown used to had been more difficult for you than you had ever thought it to be. You tried not to mind too much when your phone never rang and no new messages popped up either. You were already easing yourself into the realisation that Chan had indeed forgotten about you.

For a fact, it seemed to have been of some consolation when you found out that Minho has lost all contact with Chan too. It definitely hurt significantly less, but you both grieved the distance together.

You supposed, and accepted eventually, that this was part of life. Of friends who would come and go – some would stay and some would leave, the pain will be there, s bit of regret of not being able to protect those relations, but in the end you would have to swallow it like a bitter pill and make do with what you had.

Except, it had been so hard for someone like you. University had not treated you well, if anything it had been like a huge blow across your face. Where once you had certainly been a part of the above average crowd, you had faced the wrath of being placed even below decent performance and gradually let yourself believe that it was all you would sum up to be.

Minho had kept you company, been there when you were feeling at your lowest and held your shoulders shaking with your sobs in his arms when you finally broke down. He had assured you that you were no less, nor would you ever be so, if you decided to give up. People made the wrong choices all the time, there was no need to beat yourself up over it no matter how much you justified yourself for it.

You dropped out and Minho loved you the same. Things were okay; you were okay.

Chan had become a distant part of your memory by then. Relationships were not a part of your life and the more you floundered in an unknown place, the thinner the strings connecting you to people became until they finally snapped and you were left quite alone. You embraced this life as best as you could and did what you could. You worked whatever small jobs you could, learnt a little bit of cooking from Minho and stacked away all your hard work to get into uni in a closet you never opened; what was it worth anyway when it got you nowhere in the end.

You had not planned out your entire life and it had played to your advantage. You didn’t feel as disappointed in things as you would have earlier because you didn’t expect things to follow a predetermined path.

There was so much to say about this matter, but who really wants to wallow in disappointment? There were still moments in your life when you would wake up with a heavy heart and an empty mind. Days like those would be harder to see through, every move you made pulling on your muscles and tugging you down under their heavy weight. You would want to cry and yet find yourself unable to. There would be no meaning to why you did what you did, an urge to find out what would happen if you stopped doing those things and a desire to sleep for a long, long time.

Yet you would sit at night in an empty house, curled into yourself and find that you were incapable of doing anything. You would wait for the next day to arrive and the clock would tick ever so painstakingly slow.

So when you found yourself facing the blonde boy, tall and broad with kind brown eyes you had once drowned in looking at you, the ghost of the past you didn’t even realise had lurked within you was suddenly coming back to life without a warning, that it left you breathless.

You felt your head being dunk underwater, cold and dark liquid enveloping you as you struggled to resurface and gulp the air greedily.

Minho had dragged you, against your protests after a long and tiring day, to the community hall where a meeting was supposedly about to start promptly at eight in the evening.

So far, most of the townsfolk that had arrived had managed to snag the front seats, leaving you, Minho and Felix to grab ones in the middle. They were good spots, hidden behind people so Minho could make fun of whatever new agenda was going to be discussed and not get caught snickering. You don’t understand why Minho forces himself to sit in these meetings when he doesn’t even pay attention, but you’ve found it’s his way of relaxing after a long day and part of the reason is because he gets to hang around town before finally heading home.

Initially it had been because of Seungmin, their cat and mouse bickering, quite the talk of the town, and under a very teasing confrontation from you and Felix, Minho had given away his little growing crush on the boy he had referred to as his ‘arch enemy’. 

The three of you wait while chatting, Minho texting on his phone and you can only assume it’s Seungmin, waiting for the town head to arrive along with everybody else. He seemed to be running late, because soon the large hall filled up with people until there’s practically no more seats left.

It has been two days since you last saw Chan.

Well, you’ve seen him since then, but never gone up to him or started a conversation. You had almost bumped into him at the grocery store, but quickly retreated in your steps to avoid him. There had suddenly been too much Chan in your life, even though you had only seen him a couple of times since he last showed up at your workplace, and it had left you feeling confused and weird at having his familiar face pop up in a place as mundane and everyday as your local grocery store.

Quite frankly, you wouldn’t like to ponder upon the reason for doing so because you already know it arises from a place of pettiness and of an urge to make him taste his own medicine. Minho though, as you had gathered from the boy himself, had met up with Chan on more than one occasion since he last came to the diner. Though he had not raised any questions on your part since you largely avoided talking to him about Chan, he had been unable to keep you out of his conversations with the said boy since he had been so keen on asking about you every time they met.

Chan’s arrival back to your hometown had been weighing on your mind since forever. To you, his existence had become a strongly pronounced obstruction in your day to day life. You worried he would pop into the diner again and you almost anticipated it, you had nearly given in to Minho’s invitation to go down to his house.

Oh god, his house. You had more than enough memories of his house stored away in your mind, it almost made you sick with its overwhelming presence made known to you.

The seat next to you suddenly creaks when someone sits on it, your attention turning towards the source and you find yourself staring directly at the source of your worrying mind.

Chan smiles at you softly and you almost choke on your spit when you notice his newly dyed black hair and the small silver hoops in his ears.

“Hey (y/n), long time,” he offers you a small wave before greeting Minho.

“It’s been two days,” you resist the urge to roll your eyes, shifting ever so slightly towards Minho who was seated beside you. Chan notices, masking the sudden heaviness in his heart with a pursed smile, but doesn’t point it out.

“Chan, this is Felix, another helping hand at the diner and my junior at culinary school.” Minho speaks up, introducing Chan to the younger boy who smiles at him brightly while you sit stone faced in the middle of it all.

“Hey, nice to meet you, I’m–”

“Bang Chan, I know,” Felix smiles warmly and you can attest to the fact that Chan likes him immediately by the way he grins and his dimples appear, “I’ve heard a lot about you from Minho. He couldn’t stop talking about you, you’re like an idol to him or something.”

Minho turns red while Chan laughs shyly, the former smacking Felix on the head who retorts with an “you do!” and sticks out his tongue.

While Minho and Felix bicker, Chan smiles and turns his attention to you, about to say something when the huge doors to the hall suddenly opens and the town head walks in to loud protests from the people complaining about being kept waiting for too long. You glance at your wristwatch and sure enough, it was twenty minutes past eight.

You try your best to ignore the presence by your side and listen to the man talk – something about the annual spring festival still three months away – but it’s admittedly hard to do so when Minho and Felix keep snickering beside you like five year olds at a church and Chan’s cologne and the nicotine disguised under breath mints ever too present in your nose. You want to ingrain this scent in your memory but at the same time hold your breath till you choke and die.

Chan suddenly leans towards you, his lips close to your ears and whispers.

“Are town meetings usually this long?”

You nod at him and pretend to listen attentively to people now raising questions and concerns like they did in every meeting to discuss whether the town needed any new facilities or not.

Chan was a lot of things; he had been a lot of things. To you it was the strong smell of chlorine and the cheap aftershave he used to disguise the smell of the bleach. It was a mild odour of sweat mingling with those two scents and the freshly washed laundry detergent on his clothes. And if he leaned a bit closer, just to annoy you or tease you, then the slightest whiff of his papaya shampoo.

Realising now that he didn’t smell anything like that anymore, it makes you shudder at the revelation of the mint concealing the nicotine. Change must have been so drastic for him, that you could no longer find a place in your memories where he fit. He was gone, the youth from him was gone, long ditched in a puddle of illusion where things were still bright and days were pleasantly sunny and the world smelt like fresh rain on earth. The boyish glimmer was lost from his eyes, sucked deep by the void behind them.

Your own body itches under your clothes, the smell of soap and oil so deeply ingrained in your skin after your entire day at the diner, you’re almost certain he can smell it too.

However awkward you felt in your own skin right now, it was nothing compared to the obvious attempt Chan was making at conversing with you and your blatant refusal to offer him that, yet, it didn’t seem like Chan had any intentions of dropping the opportunity of a conversation.

“Are you free tonight? Minho said we might get dinner together after this.”

His voice is still hushed, but you cannot ignore the shiver that passes down your spine every time he leans in, clenching your fingers against the cold metal of your chair.

“Maybe.”

Twiddling his thumbs again, he chews on his bottom lip with a frown on his face. You miss his disappointment since you’ve made it your life’s mission to give your unfiltered attention to the town meeting, something you never thought you would do, but well, people change.

You are graced the chance to drop your hushed conversation when people start chattering around you and with a start you realise that the town meeting is over, everybody scraping their chairs against the floors and leaving in groups while some hang back to talk.

Felix is, thankfully, more than interested in your old friend and swoops down on the opportunity to strike up a conversation with Chan the minute he’s up from his chair; something that Chan obliges him with a lingering gaze that flits towards you. You step to the side with Minho, finding Felix more than capable to keep up a distinct string of chatter all by himself, sharing smiles with Minho at the sight.

“Did you tell Chan about the meeting?” you ask, pulling the scarf around your neck against the cold wind that blows in through the open doors. More and more people start leaving till it’s only a bunch of you who are left behind.

“Yeah, figured he could get out more and re-familiarise with the town.”

You nod at his explanation.

While Chan and Felix are still talking, your phone buzzes in your jeans pocket. Digging around to grab it, you let out a tired sigh at the caller ID. Minho peers at your screen and offers you a tight lipped smile, patting your back sympathetically. You excuse yourself and step out into the cold night to receive it.

“Mom, hi.”

“Hello (y/n), have you had your dinner yet?”

“Not yet, I was at a town meeting.”

“Again? Why do you even waste your time going to those?”

You feel it coming, this is where the conversation changes. And you’re not even four pleasantries in. You resist the urge to sigh yet again.

“Why did you call mom?” you know why she’s called.

“The semester applications are in three months, have you been studying?”

“Mom, I told you, I’m still thinking about it.”

“What in the world is there to think about? You’ve had enough time and I’ve wasted enough money on your hobbies already. Sit for the entrance exams and get into business school. At least get a degree!”

“I’ll think about it.”

“(y/n) please don’t start again, how many times do I have to repeat myself? Do you not care about your education? If you keep thinking now, when are you going to actually do something?”

“How many times do I have to repeat myself…I have no intentions of getting into business school mom, that’s just not for me.”

“Oh, so this is what you’ve been intending since the beginning then? Business school is not for you, you can’t even stick to…was it worth it? Was choosing your hobby as a career path worth it at all (y/n)? What exactly is it that you can do then? Waste your time and money? How are you going to get a job, how will you pay for yourself?”

“I’m doing it just fine right now, if you haven’t already noticed.”

The same shit, over and over again. You really can’t tell at what point of the day you would have to attend to these calls and have your entire day or night ruined.

“I’m tired of fighting with you over this (y/n),” your mom sighs on the other end, “do whatever you want.”

One would think that’s how you find yourself relieved of this matter, but that is exactly how it ends every time before you get another call like a weekly reminder that you are, in fact, not to forget.

“Good night,” you say and promptly cut the call. You’ll have to hear about this the next time she calls.

Taking in a long breath, you shut your eyes when you feel the prick of tears behind them. You could simply pay no heed to this and let it go, but you know you will overthink and you will definitely let it ruin your mood. The heaviness embedded in your muscles starts creeping up again and you find yourself, for a moment, panicking that your limbs will give away on the streets and you’ll fall down.

You hear the faint voices of your friends approaching and sniffle, blinking your eyes rapidly so the tears don’t fall. Instead, you feel the familiar weight like a pot of water quickly filling up, slithering its way into your head, a headache that will have settled by the time you reach home tonight.

Minho is the first to come stand beside you, gently pressing his arm against yours in a silent comfort. You wish he wouldn’t; it only makes it harder not to cry.

“We’re getting dinner down at Condiments, what do you say (y/n)?” Felix’s cheerfulness is lost on you. All you can focus on is the heaviness in your heart and your pounding head.

“Umm…I think I will skip.” you reply, causing Chan to look at you in concern. To be fair, you might be good at hiding your feelings, yet sometimes you cannot help but let it affect your mood. Right now, you know by the worried glance from Felix, that you were most certainly not doing a good job at concealing your distress.

“Everything okay?” Felix immediately moves to you, looping his arms through yours with a concerned pout.

You smile assuringly, not having it in you to let on that you were most certainly not fine right now.

“I’m okay Lix, just…got a headache and I’m tired. I’ll walk back home, y’all go get some dinner. I’ll join next time, I promise.”

“Okay,” Felix is convinced, you know that. In fact, you don’t feel half as bad for lying since you practically were telling the truth. You let him hug you before waving to Minho and nodding towards Chan before you start walking uphill.

“Wait,” Chan calls out from behind, making you turn in your tracks. Felix and Minho watch curiously as he approaches you.

“Let me walk you home? It’s late and–”

“Thanks Chan, but it’s alright, I walk home alone all the time, there’s nothing to be worried about. Besides, I live uphill and you live down here. It will only waste your time going up and down.”

“But–”

“I will be alright,” at this point you’re merely trying to convince yourself of the same, “I’ll see you…when I see you.”

Chan for sure is not convinced as easily as Felix. He may have missed four years being absent from your life, but he knows the signs of dismay on your face when he sees it even now. You may very well be tired and have a headache, but it still concerned him to see your gloomy expression. If you’re actively trying to avoid him right now though…

“Are you really fine? You don’t need any medicines for your headache? If it’s too bad then I can–”

“Chan,” you are firmer this time, smiling at him with a pained expression and a frustration poorly disguised under your breaking resolve of fighting your tears, “I am fine.”

Chan stands his ground for a moment in silence, inadvertently upset and slightly hurt that you were doing your best to push him away. He knows though, he cannot fight you on this; he has no rights. It’s only when Minho clutches his arm from behind does he relent.

“It’s alright Chan, (y/n)’s used to walking home alone and it’s not particularly dangerous either.”

You shoot Minho a thankful look.

“Okay,” Chan lets go, “you will let us know when you’ve reached home, right?”

“I will text Minho,” you promise, hurriedly agreeing to do whatever so long as you can finally leave.

“Okay then…get home safe.”

“I will. Good night guys, enjoy your dinner!”

A chorus of good-nights ring back and without sparing Chan another look, you walk away, alone with your thoughts and your drumming head.

SIX – PINE TEA, BURNT TONGUE.

Coming back to the hills has so far proven to be a good decision, as far as a healthy lifestyle goes.

Chan often finds himself waking up with the sun, even without an alarm, he would be up and about by at least eight in the morning and compared to sleeping in till after noon or not getting enough sleep at all, he preferred this. But on days that he would sleep way past noon, he wouldn’t wake up feeling anxious about the lost time at all.

He has also finally managed to clean the house, the strain in his muscles lasting for a few days for which he covered himself in pain relief patches, but otherwise it has been a fruitful journey. All that remains now is to set up his equipment in his old room. Though he’s out here on a break from life itself, he can never truly give up on the joys of his hobby-turned-career path. He almost never steps out without his camera when he’s wandering in the town, capturing the most mundane things and preserving the beauty in either his digital camera or in 8 mm films.

In the little time he had been back, Chan had taken over a hundred photos already. He didn’t believe in capturing everything visible to the eyes like some sort of maniac, but he also did not have anything against preserving memories.

It’s how he lived – through moments frozen in time, perhaps the only way he saw his little reign over life – by capturing them in films. It was his own solace, his peace of mind; something he could always come back to no matter how much the world around him changed. He would always have that piece of memory only he saw, something that would most likely change ten years down the line and he would look back on an old piece of glossy paper and be reminded of the world he had seen all those years ago.

This particular morning is not the most refreshing though. Last night had been a fun time indeed with Minho and Felix, catching up and recounting stories and exchanging more with Felix as a new friend. As promised, you had texted Minho when you reached home and that was all he had heard from and of you last night.

You had not ceased to plague his mind though, even long after he had bid goodnight to the others and walked back home. He had stayed up quite a while, slouched against his pillows, swiping through his collection of photos in the dark, the screen illuminating his face.

He had worried too for most part that the reason you left last night could have been him, because though you might have told him you weren’t avoiding him, the incident from his grocery store run kept replaying in his mind on loop.

He had definitely caught you rushing away from him but had decidedly not confronted you about it. What if you really were uncomfortable around him? If so, then he had promised not to bother you again, except, he just wasn’t sure whether he would be able to stay away from you much longer.

He’s reminded of the first time you met after so much time had passed, that day in the diner. You were wearing a thin sweater and your hair was in a mess like you were harried, serving and helping out in the kitchen. You had not cracked a smile then at first, staring at him wide eyed, and his first thought had been of how much you had grown up. How beautiful you had suddenly become.

Your cheeks were flushed with all the rushing about, strings of hair framing your naked face and he could tell that age and maturity had favoured you in all the right places even through your winter attire.

The thought makes him burn, his mind momentarily distracted at the very sight of you imprinted in his memory like all the pictures he captures. It’s not until late that sleep finally takes over him, but it’s a restless slumber that he tosses and turns through.

In the morning he’s met with a tourmaline sky, splotches of tissue like clouds splattered across as the sunlight filters through his windows. It was sunny and bright today and Chan squinted up at the sky through his window, rubbing his tired eyes as he lay basking in the January warmth that spread through his bones, toes curling up underneath the sheets.

Outside he hears the birds chirp in contrast to the constant honking and cars like in the city, and the air is filled with the sweet scent of pine and cyprus. Inhaling deeply, Chan feels like he must be in heaven.

His morning routine is unrushed and he takes his sweet time preparing breakfast and eating out on the verandah under the January sun above the hills, the rays of light bespeckling his skin in warm patches that danced with the trees in the gentle wind. It was a quiet meal and Chan was, for once, not planning his entire day out in his mind, though he did have a rough idea of how he might want to spend his day.

His phone pings with a message; it’s from his mom.

mom: morning son, don’t know if you’re up already, but this is your reminder to have a good day

The smile on Chan’s face is instant, he can’t help the little leap of joy in his chest at the sight.

mom: this is also a reminder to check your smoking habit

A small chuckle passes through his lips before he replies.

me: morning, your favourite son is already up. and he says he’s trying really hard to keep his smoking in check

mom: tell my favourite son (his words) to try harder

me: this is all dad’s fault you know?

mom: your mom is giving me the stink eye now, why did you have to say that to her - dad

Chan laughs in amusement, knowing that the last message was sent in good spirits and as a joke.

me: morning dad, hope you’re treating mom well!

mom: he is darling, don’t you worry about us. are you having a good time there?

me: yeah, it’s all pretty nostalgic and stuff, but i enjoy every day here. even went to a town meeting last night and grabbed dinner with minho. you remember him don’t you?

mom: town meetings! it’s been a while since i’ve heard of those. of course i remember minho…he was a darling boy back then. how is he?

me: he’s good, it was fun catching up. i also met (y/n)

mom: oh. how are they? last we heard before moving out was their father passing away…must have been hard all this time.

Chan blinks down at the message in surprise. He did not know that.

me: their dad passed away??

mom: yes, didn’t you know? it was cancer, i believe i might have mentioned this before.

Sucking in a breath, Chan finds it incredibly hard to process this piece of information. It was like a sudden dump of emotions and his stomach curled at the revelation. His mom definitely did not mention this, there was no way he would have filtered this kind of news away like it was nothing.

me: i don’t think you did, i would have remembered…

mom: oh channie…i’m sorry, we were probably too busy with all the packing and moving back then, we only heard in passing.

me: it’s okay, not your fault

mom: do drop by at (y/n)'s and give my best regards. let me know how they’re doing okay?

me: will do mom

After a few more messages about his day, he bids his mom goodbye and tosses the phone aside. Shutting his eyes, the very first person to come to his mind is you, a resounding pang in his chest when he’s reminded of your father too. He had never spent much time around your family, in fact, you had always been the one to come over at his place majority of the time and he had only met your parents once in a while during annual school meets or sometimes during the town festivals as a child. As it so happened, your parents were never around much, both busy with work as you often told him. Still, he remembered your father, and he had always seemed a good, kind man.

Why had Minho not mentioned anything to him about this? Sure, you did creep into the conversation snow and then, but even so, every time Chan brought you up, it’s like Minho tried to safeguard you and let on as little as possible.

Nibbling his lips, he sits and ponders whether he should ask Minho about this, even retrieving his phone to text him about it but in the end concedes. Maybe Minho had not deemed it his place to tell him.

Deciding that he would listen to his mom and drop by at your place, from what he knows you still live in your old home, he spends the next hour or so doing small chores like washing the dishes and getting ready for the morning.

He’s out of the house not long after, showered and refreshed and surprisingly ready to face the day. With his camera bag slung across his shoulder, he makes his way on foot around town, exploring some of the older shops lining the hillsides under tarpaulin covers, fresh steamed bread and hot noodle shops already open and catering to people.

Chan doesn’t stop much, only lingering enough to familiarise himself with the market place which was always seemingly buzzing with people and cheerful chatter. He makes his way up the hill, pulling up his hoodie to cover his head as he walks under the gradually thickening canopies of trees above him. The road leading up becomes narrower and fewer people lurk about, only some tourists who stop by the road to take photos.

Chan doesn’t use his camera till he’s way up higher, simply walking through the pine scent till he reaches a small hilltop that overlooks the town below. Colourful buildings nestled between sloping lush greenery, the roads snaked around the town in smooth curves. He can spot the community centre and the restaurant he had dinner last night at. The market place is the most lively place at this time of the day, strings of flags strung across the semi marketplace flapping in the wind. It was like a small community tucked away from the rest of the world. At one further end of the town, a tall blue tower rises up and immediately Chan is hit by nostalgic memories.

Almost instinctively, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a packet of cigarettes, lighting one up and exhaling deeply. He reminds himself that 9 in the morning is too early for this, but the optimist that he is, he’s also inclined to wave it off with ‘it’s midnight somewhere’.  

He turns sentimental the more he looks at the lone tower visible behind a cluster of hills. It’s his high school and upon seeing it after so many years, he almost missed going to that place.

His hometown was not such a huge place afterall. Most people knew each other here after spending so many years in the same place, but there was also the never changing map of this tiny town that losing yourself here was practically an impossible task even if you want to do it on purpose. Everything was etched out like permanent ink, Chan still remembered all the prime locations of his childhood here like the back of his hand.

In a way it might have been the reason he left too, an aspect of waking up to the same thing every day had been his drive to leave this place but the city had been no different either. Chan was slowly starting to realise that now.

He takes in another puff of the stick, now dangling between his lips before dropping it on the ground and squashing it with his feet, guiltily reminded of his mother’s text this morning and his promise to her.

Shoving his hands inside the pocket of his hoodie he strolls aimlessly along without a destination in mind. He’s aware that only a few shops and restaurants dot the top of the mountain, he’s vaguely aware that there’s a few more clearings along the way and your house was somewhere there. He does remember you having to walk a long way down to school and complain about it often to him.

Soon enough, he reaches a smaller path branching out from the main road to the side. He takes the rocky path, edges lined with wild grass and strewn with stray pine cones, a flatter piece of land leading off to a bunch of bakeries and small cafes.

It's almost like a small chunk of hill had been cut off to create an alcove, small vintage shops huddled together and the scent of fresh bread and ground coffee wafting in the air like a sweet aroma.

Chan has had his fair share of cafes working in one himself and though he had been sick of the smell of coffee for a while, here, out in the open and so far away from the city, he almost didn't mind it.

He stops for a moment and takes a few pictures, the colourful vibrant roofs of red, blue and yellows catching his eyes as he squats to capture this seemingly fairytale come to life picture. Everything in the mountains was just automatically magical. 

He's drawn to a tiny little cafe with a sloping blue roof tucked away further back against a huge rocky wall.

The wind chime tinkles against the gentle breeze above Chan who peers inside from the big window in the front with blue frames. The cafe is almost empty except for a few people scattered about on huge wicker seats.

There's no bell to notify you when a customer enters, just the loud creak of the door, which can be a bit alarming as you've often mentioned to the cafe owner.

You're at the counter scrolling through your phone when you hear the door opening, immediately shutting your phone and smiling at the customer.

"Welcome, how can we help–"

Oh. It's Chan.

"–you?"

Chan seems to be equally as surprised to see you here; he thought you worked at the diner. Nevertheless, he returns your smile.

"Hi," he greets, approaching you at the counter, "I didn't know you worked here."

"I don't, just here to cover for a friend."

You do sometimes pick up shifts here when you’re free of your duties at the diner. It’s more of a casual workplace for some extra cash and since it’s never too crowded, the employment criteria is not too rigid. You help out once in a while when the tourist season is at its peak and extra hands are required. As it so happened, January usually serves as a gradual ease into the rush, with a couple dozen or so customers always coming in for a warm drink and a cozy place to relax and read a book. By March, the tourist count increases and that is when you find yourself financially more stable. You are therefore quite dependent on the tourism sector. Right now, you're covering for Seungmin who won't be back till next week, and you could definitely make do with the cash.

"What can I get you?" you ask, waiting for Chan to look over at the menu and decide. While he examines the laminated display on the counter, you watch him quietly nibbling on his lips, the rings in his ears dangling gently when he moves, the smell of smoke nestling under your nose again. You dislike it but you can't bring yourself to look away until he turns to you with a sheepish smile and wide eyes.

"Umm…it's a bit hard to decide," he chuckles and the noise settles in your bones like a warm shiver, "there's too many to choose from. What would you recommend?"

Startled by the sudden question, you stare at him sceptically as if he had just asked you to do something unreasonable.

"You want me to recommend something to you?" You point at yourself as if to make sure for certain.

Chan nods with a smile, leaning against the counter for your opinion.

Licking your lips, you scan through the menu even though you remember everything by heart. It's just that, you can't bring yourself to meet his stare.

"Do you want a hot drink or something cold?" You question, glancing at him briefly to find him still staring. God, you hope you're not flushed.

"I would prefer something warm, but wouldn't mind if you recommend a cold drink either."

His smile again, the stupid upturn of his full lips and the tiny dimple on his cheek. You dislike it so very much. You don't even dare to meet his eyes, the brown in your memory too haunting even to this day.

"Then I'd recommend the pine tea. It's aromatic and light. I could get you some mushroom bread rolls with those or do you still not like mushrooms–"

You halt in your speech, eyes flickering up to his like a deer caught in headlights. Upon seeing him blinking back, you immediately start spluttering out an apology.

"S-sorry, I don't know why I said that…I shouldn't have assumed–"

"It's okay," Chan cuts you off hastily with a wave of his hand, "you didn't assume anything, it's fine!"

"Oh…oh, okay. I…so do you want to get something with your tea or just…?"

You trail off in embarrassment, every second a new word that falls off your lips feels like a shovel digging at your own grave. You should probably shut up right about now.

"Oh…oh yeah. Umm, anything without mushrooms," he claims, rubbing his neck with a nervous chuckle, "what about the orange loaf cake? Sounds delicious."

"Orange loaf cake, right. Good choice, it'll go well with the pine tea. I'll get you your order then, why don't you take a seat," you gesture at one of the empty tables by the window.

Chan obliges, nodding his head and taking a seat while you scurry into the pantry to get the tea leaves.

Inside the dark cool room, you take a moment to let out a breath you hadn't even realised you were holding in, leaning your head against one of the shelves, the cool wood like a comforting balm across your skin.

You just keep making a fool out of yourself in front of him. He's just an old friend, why does he affect you this way?!

The tea Chan receives is instantly aromatic, the gentle scent of pine and a savoury pinch of cinnamon in it making him look forward to the drink.

You place the steaming cup in front of him along with a plate of sliced bread, slightly warm and golden in texture. Chan feels his mouth watering though it hasn't been that long since he had had his breakfast.

"Umm," you hesitate, glancing at the box of cigarettes on the table, "there is a no smoking policy in here so…"

For all you know you could have said that just because you hated the sight of it, he could have very well just placed them on the table without any intention to smoke them inside. Your brain really wasn't in sync with your mouth today and you were regretting every second of it.

Chan follows your eyes, immediately flushing and pocketing the box, crumpling it almost as he hastily shoved it into his pocket.

"Of course, I don't smoke a lot. I mean, I do, but I won't right now. I work at a cafe too, I mean I used to, of course I know there's a no smoking policy–"

Chan doesn't finish his statement, feeling a rush of heat along his neck as if he had just been called out. He vividly remembers the red text of caution stating cigarettes causing cancer and nearly facepalms.

"Okay well, glad you know," nice save, you're doing a great job, "enjoy your meal then. Let me know if you want anything else."

With that you're gone by his side back to your place behind the counter where you immediately bury your nose into your phone, willing the heat in your cheeks to go away without fanning yourself.

Chan takes a large sip of his tea in a hurry to hide his face when you glance up at him and your eyes meet, scalding his tongue in the process and it takes him his all to not curse out loud. He stuffs a large piece of bread in his mouth to soothe the burn.

What an absolute mess.

SEVEN – IT MUST BE NICE.

Seungmin had texted you at night, a flurry of apologies and making up to you with dinner when he came back, and he was so flustered, he had completely forgotten to mention the reason for this impromptu travesty.

When you had pointed it out, it had only prompted another tirade of apologies and eventually you had ended up calling him. You were in your bed, showered and with an ache in your limbs that came with a long satisfied day.

“(y/n)? Oh my god, I’m so sorry–”

“Seungmin, stop apologising,” you had smiled, shuffling in your bed under the blankets, “how’ve you been?”

“I-what? Oh, yeah, I’ve been good.” he had sounded genuinely surprised at your inquiry, as if he hadn’t even thought you would ever ask him something like that.

“That’s good, how’s your workshop?”

“It’s fine, doable certainly. There’s a lot of interesting things, and I’m hoping to sign up for a few more non-credit courses because they honestly sound really amazing and I think I might be able to squeeze in a few after my credit classes.”

That was Seungmin for you, always the one who loved to learn and cram his breaks with a truckload of workshops and seminars, citing that he didn’t have enough time to attend them during the academic year, what with his classes at university. Your group was proud of him and all his achievements, but you were also concerned with his health.

He had just completed his teaching degree and was working as a TA in Shinha University, which was an hour away by train. You both had initially bonded over your shared interest in books and when you had told him that you had got into university for your bachelors in journalism, he had instantly clicked with you, having pursued journalism as well and then getting his B.Ed.

Seungmin had never been invasive of your reason to drop out, always keeping a polite flow in your conversations without sounding demeaning.

“Wow,” you remark, smiling into your pillow at his ramble, “does Minho know about this?”

“Does Minho know that I’m sleeping three hours a day?

“Jesus, Seungmin!”

“I know,” he groans on the other end of the line, “I couldn’t help it. Please don’t tell Minho, he will go batshit crazy.”

You can already imagine Minho getting upset, except, when it came to Seungmin and his ridiculously well planned but jam packed academic calendar, Minho tended to channel all that anger into making extra efforts at taking care of the younger boy. They would call this their freeze-zone, which lasted about eleven days at maximum – Minho would be all quiet and calm, not necessarily ignoring Seungmin, but neither did he acknowledge his lifestyle in high regards. Seungmin would also be quiet, but follow Minho around like an apologetic puppy, trying to make amends.

It would always end with a hug. And if you were unfortunate enough, then you would catch them in the kitchen after closing hours in the diner, making out heatedly. Then you would want to bleach your eyes.

Regardless, and you really had no other way to describe what they had as cute. They had a healthy relationship, as far as you knew, with their ups and downs, but they were tight. And it made you happy to watch them be happy with each other.

“Okay, I won’t tell him, but he’s gonna find out anyway,” you sigh.

“I know, I’ll be the one to tell him anyway. It’s like he’s got this sixth sense when it comes to these things you know, until last year I was convinced either you or Felix were tattling to him.”

“Hey, have some faith in us!”

“I do now.”

You can hear the smile in his voice and chuckle.

“So, what is it you were apologising to me about?”

“Oh. Right, so I've been working under Professor Lee for my research paper for a while."

You nod even though he can't see you, listening carefully.

"He’s been looking for an assistant for the new semester, and…please don’t get mad okay, but I may have told him about you. I told him you were pursuing your journalism bachelors…”

Sucking in a breath, you groan at the insinuation.

“Seungmin–”

“I swear I didn’t put you down or anything, I didn’t even tell him the reason you dropped out. It’s just…I thought you might want to check out the work at least.”

“That’s…that’s kind of Seungmin, it really is. I’m just not sure if I’m qualified enough.”

“You really think so? You almost completed your degree (y/n), you were going to graduate.”

“You know, you’re starting to sound awfully like my mom,” you mumble.

“(y/n)...you know I didn’t mean any harm.”

“I know Seungmin, I know…”

Which is why this was even more difficult for you. Seungmin’s been of immense help to you ever since you met. He’s got you to write for an anonymous column in their University paper a couple of times and though you had agreed, you had rejected the offer to become a regular in their columns. As much as Minho had been adamantly loyal to your decision of dropping out, Seungmin had his own gentle way of nudging you to pick up your pen again.

“What’s wrong (y/n), I know you want more than what you have right now.”

You detest the bitterness of his truth, the way it swirls around you in green coils and makes you sick. You do want more, but in the crevices of your bones laden heavy with the lead of your self proclaimed worth, you know you shouldn’t. You can’t want more, not when there’s better people out there.

“Seungmin I…I don't know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything, just sleep on it yeah? But if you agree, and no pressure there, then let me know and I’ll set you up a meeting with the professor. Okay?”

“Okay…” you reluctantly agree. You’ll sleep on it for sure, but you lack the assurance of a positive response. Maybe Seungmin senses it too, apologising again.

“Don’t apologise really, I should be thankful that you’re looking out for me.”

“Of course I am, that’s what friends do.”

Your head weighs down on the soft pillows, tears stinging your eyes in the darkness of your room.

“Yeah. Thanks a lot Seungmin, I appreciate it. I really do.”

You hope the way you force out your words is enough to let him know exactly how much this means to you even though you can never put it in enough words.

“Anytime (y/n). Goodnight then.”

“Goodnight.”

Guilt fills you up almost instantaneously when the call drops with a click from the other side. Looking back on the conversation, you detested how quickly you had compared Seungmin to your mother when all he had done was look out for you. Confusion and frustration diffuses through your guilt right after; were you a hypocrite because you felt guilty when it was a friend who looked after you and not when your mother did? Wasn’t she also just looking out for you?

You don’t find it in yourself to remove the phone from your ear, fingers loosening their hold against the device till the screen blacks out.

Left alone with your thoughts, you find the sleep behind your eyes slowly disappearing, replaced with a thin layer of tears that fail to escape, instead settling behind like heavy moss, fogging your mind and senses.

The bed feels uncomfortable, but the weight of your limbs tie you down in your place, unmoving against your will and you find the hands of the clock on your bed stand ticking too loudly. Moving your head, your gaze flits across the window on the wall, the tall peaks of hills visible, glowing with the faintest hint of warm orange from the town lights below.

Slowly, as if it ached your very soul to move, you rustle out of your blanket, dragging it along as you trod towards the balcony, curling your toes when your bare feet touch the cold marble flooring. Your flat was small but the balcony was spacious, often your haven on summer days but in the cold January, it leaves you numb. It's admittedly a good feeling, the urge to keep yourself warm by rubbing your arms and pulling the b;anket closer around your frame overtaking the need to think.

The family living below you is still awake, their apartment rings out in cheerful laughter. You can see the shadows moving on the grassy garden illuminated by the light from their windows. They dance like flames in the wind, flitting about aimlessly and chaotically, in tune to the kids yelling and playing around.

It must be nice, you think. You credit the sentiment to their laughter, but you’re unsure of whether there’s a longing behind that thought that popped up without a warning in your mind. What must be nice?

If you lean against the railings, you can catch a small portion of the town which was not hidden being a large clump of trees, twinkling under a starry sky. You hear the distant hubbub of the liveliness if you hold your breath and strain your ears. It must be nice, the voice in your head goes again.

You want to cry. What must be nice?

Why were you here on a Tuesday night, sitting on your cold marble floors wanting to simultaneously scream and cry and throw yourself off a cliff? Why did it feel so insanely morbid to feel so numb and feel so many things at once? Why would your limbs not move and tears not fall no matter how much you willed them to?

Why does this house not feel like a home? What were you so homesick for, a place that did not exist or a place that you had buried so deep in the depths of your tangled memory that retrieving it would cost you your life? Where would you run when you wanted to, how would you know what you’re running from, how long would you have to run?

What was this feeling you were drenched in? Why can’t you comprehend it? How do you get rid of it?

Your phone dings yet again with a notification and you retrieve it from somewhere in the depths of the blanket you had swaddled yourself in. another message from Seungmin.

seungmin: Professor Lee, faculty of Linguistics and Literature Studies, Shinha University. Contact details: xxxxxxxxxx

seungmin: just in case. g’night.

Your wrist tingles uncomfortably and you rub your fingers across it soothingly. It was probably going to rain later. Or soon. Time was merely flitting past but your eyes remained wide open, not a drop of sleep to be expected any time soon.

The shadows on the grass settle down in a dark lump, quiet and peaceful. The lights below lose their glow, dimming into the night one by one as the town falls asleep.

It must be nice, to be able to sleep.

EIGHT – BUTTERFLIES, LOLLIPOPS, SHARED LAUGHS.

The next time Minho texts you about dinner plans, it's with the carefully added notification of expecting Chan's presence too.

You've been entirely too busy with the diner the past few days, that you've managed to avoid another encounter with Chan naturally. You woke up early to prepare for the day and went home late after cleaning up. It was the same for Minho and Felix, and only now do the three of you realise what a great help another helping hand is. You all miss Seungmin.

But the work pays off, and the cafe work is an added bonus to your savings. If anything, at least you're saved from overthinking once you get home all tired and grisly from kitchen duties. You don't have time to worry about little things as much nor the guilt of missing calls from your mom.

It was the gentle plea at the end of Minho’s text, asking you to please join in for at least old friends’ sake that gets you thinking about the whole thing.

It’s not a particularly mind gnawing decision, you simply decide that you don't need to avoid Chan as much. Fine, you definitely did not know where exactly you stood with his reappearance after all these years, but that didn’t mean you were going to be so cold as to continuously turn down these little reunions. Minho had definitely embraced his old friend with welcome arms and tonight he was finally going to meet Seungmin. You did not mind when Minho was open to introducing his life here to your old friend. There’s only so long you could possibly avoid all social interactions as you could keep up with a steady denial to let Chan affect your day to day life.

You text Minho back with a promise to join in on this dinner.

That is how you find yourself sitting in the tented bar, the sizzle of the barbeque and the delectable aroma of fried vegetables wafting in the air and a few too many bottles of beer in front of you, huddled together in a circle around a table.

Felix chats away excitedly, seemingly never at a loss of conversational topics, while Seungmin joins in with Chan. Minho looks after the barbeque, serving the food to everybody once he’s finally done. The first bite is like a doorway to heaven opening up, a bit too hot that you need to blow air before promptly stuffing yourself with more.

You stay quiet for the most part, only replying when someone asks you something, sitting directly opposite Chan and hence obliged to keep looking away when your eyes meet. It’s happened so many times already since you first came that you don’t even bother with the awkward smile anymore, glancing away quickly before downing your glass of beer.

Chan looks extremely good today, even though it doesn’t look like he put in too much effort behind his black hoodie and his usual silver earrings. His hair lays flat, fingers occasionally brushing through his fringes which he keeps straightening out. You really try not to stare, but when you do and catch yourself in the act, you convince yourself that it’s only because you’re trying to memorise this new and older Chan from the younger one with curly hair and unpierced ears.

“Hey, do you remember that time (y/n) got in detention because Chan kept poking them and they yelled at him in the middle of calculus?” Minho points out in the middle of dinner.

Chan laughs at the memory eliciting a fond smile from you too as you look back on that day, it had indeed been the first time you got into any kind of trouble at school and you had cried during your after school detention.

“I was somewhat troublesome back then, wasn’t I? Chan says, grinning at you apologetically but with a happy smile as if he held his mischievous days close to his heart.

“Somewhat?” you question incredulously, “you were quite the troublemaker, honestly how did you get appointed as student council head?!”

The table erupts into giggles and laughter, a surprised Seungmin looking at Chan in awe, finding it equally hard to believe Chan could have ever caused any trouble. You find it easy to laugh along, just old friends reminiscing on good days gone by, leaving behind fragments of floating memories you had to glue back together. It felt like you were teens again at one of your annual dinners after exams were over. It felt good to be here right now, maybe with a broken friendship, but with a sudden jolt you realise that you may have been looking forward to this unknowingly after all, and now that it was here, you were willing to put behind petty regrets and patch things up.

After all, how often will you find a friendship so precious, right? Shouldn’t you appreciate it and let go of the past for the sake of reviving whatever weak flame was flickering now?

A warmth blooms in you when you look around, eyes lingering a little longer on the man in front of you. He notices and tilts his head in question. You smile widely and shake your head and in a long while, Chan finds himself feeling elated as if the sun itself had bloomed inside his chest and was extending its rays all through his body. He has not felt this happy in a while and the sight of your smile directed at him lightens the burden without a source on his shoulders he’s been carrying ever since.

Though in the morning you might try to convince yourself that warming up to Chan had been a consequence of the alcohol in your system, you ease yourself into the light atmosphere and enjoy the moment for as long as it lasts.

Chan and Seungmin get along well, some sort of sibling dynamic forming quickly between the two with comfortable bantering which slowly backfires on Minho who gets teased by the two and turns pouty. You chuckle when he turns to you for help but only gets a pat on the back from you.

Regardless, Seungmin only needs to lean his head on his sulking boyfriend’s shoulder for him to smile sweetly and kiss his cheek. Felix and you pretend to gag at the sight, which is quickly shot down by protests.

“You’re only jealous because you’re both single!” Minho yells over the table, eliciting a gasp from you and faux display of hurt from Felix who clutches his heart and pretends to cry.

“You’re single?” you look up to find Chan looking at you, an unreadable expression on his face and you wonder why he directed his question at you even though Felix was sitting right beside him.

Before you can respond, Minho speaks up on your behalf.

“(y/n)’s been single ever since high school, I think they’re gonna die single and lonely.”

“Am not!” you stick out your tongue at him, “also I did date in uni.”

“Two weeks doesn’t count,” Minho smirks, “you didn’t even kiss him.”

“And how would you know that?” you challenge, glaring at him now.

Chan listened to the conversation curiously, hearing you talk for the longest time since the evening.

“Did you?” Minho’s eyes widen and you feel like they might pop out of their sockets if he kept staring any longer.

“No…but that’s not the point,” you grumble, hiding your face behind your glass and looking away.

“Why don’t you and Felix try dating once, huh? I’ve been waiting for y’all to get together since forever.”

You choke on your drink, suddenly embarrassed at all the attention. How did the conversation turn to your very prospective dating life all of a sudden? Granted Minho may be drunk, but he was better at holding his alcohol. You feel an apprehension when you look over and notice the smug grin he has on, regarding you through narrow eyes.

“What?” you splutter, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand and ignoring the way Chan stares at you, “why would you even say that?”

Felix chooses that exact moment to lean in and cling onto your hand, rubbing his face against your shoulder. You know he’s had one too many drinks, and if you didn’t then he made it very obvious when he mumbled against your neck.

“Yeah (y/n),” he pouted, “if both of us are single by the time we’re forty, let’s get married!”

You laugh endearingly, letting him nuzzle his face closer for warmth, the tip of his nose cold against your skin and you shiver.

“Okay Felix, only if you promise to do the laundry,” you tease.

“Shit don’t do it Lix, it’s a trap!” Minho scoffs, leaning into Seungmin who nods vehemently, also under the influence of more alcohol than he can usually tolerate.

“For my beloved (y/n), anything! I will even cook and clean and take the dog out for walks!” he proclaims. You giggle, stroking his blonde hair gently and it seems to draw him closer.

“Okay Lix, whatever you say. Oh, you’re going to make such an amazing husband one day!”

Felix simply giggles like a child, hiding his face behind his hand as he leans away and slouches across the table, the tips of his ears now red, poking out.

Minho shakes his head disagreeably, sending you a nasty glare which you respond to by sticking out your tongue. While Felix stills remains slouched on the table, probably asleep you figure, but none of you have the heart to wake him up, Minho falls into a quiet conversation with a slightly drunk and sleepy Seungmin, the two huddling close and speaking in soft tones completely ignoring you and Chan who are left alone in an awkward silence.

Chan clears his throat, gaining your attention before mumbling an ‘excuse me’ and leaving the table to step outside. You follow his movements, moving the plastic curtain and shuffling out into the cold night, standing under the makeshift awning. He lights a cigarette and puffs in air, smoking out clouds which disappear into the night, distorted behind the plastic curtain, the orange glow splitting into a line whenever he brings up the stick to his lips.

Downing the last few drops in your glass, you excuse yourself too, though you don’t think anybody listens – Minho is far too invested in playing with Seungmin’s hair while the latter hums happily against his shoulder and Felix is, well…passed out, probably – and make your way out too, pushing the curtain aside and shivering when the cold wind hits you. Nights in the mountains get chillier by the hour and you’re glad you’re wearing a thicker cardigan tonight.

Chan looks up from where he’s standing, smiling in greeting when you come to stand beside him. The silence shared outside is shared comfortably, with all the late night buzz of people and veiled chattering around you. A few street lights line the street, glowing warm yellow under a darkened blanket studded with little silver dots that twinkle brightly without any clouds in sight. It’s a moonless night, but there’s enough light around you to make out Chan’s face; not entirely hidden in the dark but illuminated in a muted yellow glow that lines his side, sloping down his nose and falling onto his lips before disappearing under his chin.

The smoke from his lips coils into the air in a grey haze before disappearing into the air. You sniffle, warily eyeing the stick between his puckered lips, folding your arms across your chest when another wind blows.

“Those things aren’t really good for you, you know” you comment, feeling awfully like a nagging mother, always confronting him about his smoking habits whenever you see him. You almost snort at the revelation.

“Ah…sorry, I’ve been trying to quit too, but it just…force of habit.”

You smile sadly, tucking your chin in your neck and leaning against a wooden pole.

“I heard about your father,” Chan’s voice is cautiously quiet in the night, the syllables coming out hushed and apologetic, “I’m sorry about him.”

“Don’t be, we saw it coming but he was worse off than we had hoped,” you reply just as quietly, but without the tremor that had been present in your voice some years ago. In fact, you don’t think you’ve talked about your father in a long while, not even with your mother. It makes you slightly sad that the first time you’re doing this is because of an old friend who, until recently, hadn’t even been in contact with you.

“It was…it was all the smoking he did…the cancer, I mean.”

You sniffle, looking up at the sky, eyes mindlessly following the clusters of stars twinkling silently.

“Ah shit…I’m so sorry. Does this make you feel uncomfortable?”

You shake your head in denial, but even so you both know it does. You know you don’t want to see someone smoking in front of you; it had been difficult enough to get over that particular phase in your life where you blatantly disliked people for smoking, but you slowly got over the fact that you had no say in how they should live their life or not. Not everybody who smoked ended up with cancer after all. But you also knew that you would always try to help your friend quit, because quite frankly, you were the type to be haunted by the fear of something that had the tendency to scar you.

When you were seven, you had fallen off the monkey bars and bruised your knees pretty badly – the scars are still there, a dark patch against your skin – and you had a huge fear of the accursed bars, steering clear of it ever since. Then you grew up and grew taller and your fingers coiled around the cold metal bars without even having to lift your feet off the ground and you realised that it was no fun that way anymore; it was much more fun and exciting when your feet swung in air and your muscles strained trying to hold on to the slippery bars. There was a beauty in having to risk your seven year old soul to hang on to some monkey bars for dear life, something you had missed out on for the longest time in your life.

Then of course, there was your fear of water. You may have never mastered the element, but once you learn to float and keep your head above the water in the deeper end, you wonder why you had been scared in the first place.

Chan throws the cigarette on the ground and stubs it with his feet, picking it off and throwing it in the dustbin nearby. The silence prevails as he leans beside you. The smell of smoke remains in the air, stagnant and pungent under your nose.

Shuffling on your feet, you dig into the pocket of your jeans, fumbling around as you struggle to pull something out of it.

“Here,” you say, handing it out to Chan who regards the lollipop between your fingers with visible confusion but accepts it gingerly nonetheless, “I would rather you died of diabetes than cancer.”

The chuckle that he lets out is easygoing, tumbling from his lips like tiny bells, chiming into the night charmingly. You know you've heard it countless times before, but it makes you feel warm out here in the cold, like a sweet blanket of comfort and nostalgia.

“Why do I die either way?” he questions, snorting at your proclamation. You shrug, sharing a smile.

“It’s a better way to go?'' It sounds more like a question but doesn’t stop Chan’s amused laughter.

“You became funnier after all this time,” he teases, surrendering by putting his hands up when you threaten to hit him.

“So, do you always carry candies with you wherever you go?” he asks, fiddling with the patterned wrapper.

“No, Lix gave it to me. He’s always got some sort of sweet with him, god maybe he’ll get diabetes one of these days.”

“Is there something between you and Felix?” you miss the slight frown on his face and the nervous lip biting, his fingers fiddling with the crinkling wrapper of the candy between them.

“No, why would you think that?” as if realising the answer to your question you add, “Minho was just joking back then.”

“Oh, I thought you might. He’s just very…”

“Clingy? Sweet boyfriend material, makes everybody fall in love with him wherever he goes and whatever he does?” you raise a brow when Chan trails off, smiling teasingly when he sputters out another laugh, flustered.

“Yeah!”

“That’s just the way he is,” you snort, “isn’t he adorable though?”

You both take this moment to glance inside where you left the three boys. Sure enough, Felix is now cupping his cheeks between his hands, red faced and hiccuping with his eyes half closed and lips out in a pout like a duck, looking around like a lost kitten. He's had one too many drinks and you can tell; his elbow keeps slipping off the table and he glares in confusion as if to gauge the problem. Sharing a glance you both burst out laughing, doubling over yourselves as the giggles erupt out of you from nowhere.

The night is chilly, but as you both huddle close, laughing over something small and mundane as a silly friend who’s had too much to drink, you feel your cheeks warm and tummies tremble in merriment.

Chan laughs with his whole body, the chimes of his joy gurgling up from his chest like butterflies that fly around you with pretty wings. Unknowingly, you start filing away little things about Chan in a place that were fond to you in your memories, like a small cabinet of his quirks. The cute dimple on his cheek, the way his eyes turn into crescents and can’t stay open when he laughs too hard, his hands which circle his waist or often find respite behind his neck when he’s too sheepish and the way the silver rings in his ears tremble all the while he’s shaking with joy.

You let yourself bask in this moment, ignoring the voice in your head telling you not to enjoy so much. It gets drowned under the horde of butterflies that circle over it, out of its reach and high above as you watch with a longing to reach out and let one sit on your finger. You stay rooted though, keeping your hands to yourself, afraid you might damage its wings if you so much as brush against its petal like fragility.

The flap of their wings send a wave of small breeze towards you, gentle and almost akin to a fever kiss, fanning your hot face and urging you to look at them past the shambles of your ruined castle walls with moss and wreck. They fly too high and you have to crane your neck just to look. They’re free, without a threat of being captured inside glass cases or having their wings clipped and you know in that moment you wouldn’t want anything happening to them.

Maybe one day, one of these winged wonders will approach you and let you lend your finger to sit.

Chan walks home that night with a spring in his step and a smile that never leaves his lips, the lollipop inside the pocket of his hoodie with its tiny but obvious weight and crinkling wrapper.

It’s too sweet for him, but he finds that sucking on it does indeed act as a substitute in the long run. He sleeps at night with the lingering taste of cherry at the back of his tongue and a warm memory of shared laughter in the cold night. It spreads through his body and lulls him to a comfortable sleep.

The straightened wrapper of candy finds a home in his bedside drawer, placed carefully beside his camera.

[e-dubbc11]

Take a Lap Pt. 3

Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google. Bottom left and bottom right are actually mine, I took them in my hometown.

Pairing: Billy Russo x F! Reader

Warnings: A couple of swear words, fluffy bunnies and unicorns. Some angst and tears and a cheesy yet happy ending.

Word Count: 6.9k-ish

Summary: Part 3 of 3. You and Billy are becoming very close, training together, he gets to know your family, and spending more time together not training but of course, it wouldn’t be a Billy Russo fic without conflict before he competes in his very first triathlon.

A/N: A couple of the pictures in my moodboard I took myself, one of my hobbies is photography. It’s just so pretty where I live. I had a lot of fun writing this series, and I hope you enjoyed it also.

PART 1

PART 2

As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕

After a relatively successful first open water swim on Thursday morning, you and Billy spent the late morning at his hotel and in the early afternoon, you took him to lunch and for a nice walk in downtown Mystic.

The two of you took some pictures together overlooking the water. It was a typical July day in New England, hot and humid. The sun was out from behind the fluffy white clouds and even though it was hot, your body temperature seemed to stay cooler because of your early morning swim in the river.

The water was still a little chilly but not bad so it kept your body temperature down while everyone else walking around, you could see the beads of sweat on their foreheads, the sweat stains on their shirts, and their sunburned faces.

“Ya know, baby. It’s really hot out but I don’t really feel it.” Billy said.

“Your body will take a little longer to heat up thanks to the swim in the river this morning, Billy.” You said with a warm smile.

He stopped to take in the view, the sunlight dancing across the water, the large wooden ships in the distance, and the kayakers paddling towards you heading for the overpass. Billy looked…content.

“It’s beautiful here, y/n. I remember you describing it but you really do have to see it.” He said, reaching for your hand and bringing it up to his lips to kiss your knuckles.

“Yeah, this is home for me. I really do love it here.” You stated, still holding Billy’s hand.

He didn’t want you to leave him, he kept you at arm’s length all day, and you would even catch him staring at you sometimes whether you were reading the menu at the restaurant or watching the boats go by in the river. He never took his eyes away from you.

“I have to let you go soon, don’t I.” There was no hiding the disappointment in his voice.

You didn’t want to leave him either but this weekend was supposed to be about seeing your family but maybe there was a way to do both, aside from the birthday party.

“Why don’t you come over for dinner tonight? Ease into it because my entire family can be a bit much so you could just meet my parents and my brothers. That could be a nice warm up for you.” You said nervously, not knowing if he’d go for it or not.

“A warm up, huh?” He asked. “Do you ever stop coaching?” He asked, laughing a little.

“It’s too soon, isn’t it. I’m scaring you, aren’t I.” You choked out.

He continued to laugh. “No, no you’re not scaring me, sweet girl. I’d really like that.”

Billy drew you in close to his chest, he pulled his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose so his eyes weren’t hidden away anymore, he wanted you to see them and he wanted you to know that he was more than ok meeting your family.

Looking up at him through your dark lashes, you knew he wasn’t lying. Billy brushed under your chin with his fingers, tilted your face towards his and delicately pressed his lips to yours. The scent of his cologne was intoxicating, it mixed with the light scent of sunscreen and salt water that hung in the air.

“You would?” You asked him nervously.

He flashed you his perfect smile. “Of course I would. I just have one question.” He said.

“What’s that?” You said with a concerned tone to your voice.

Billy kissed you on the forehead. “What kind of flowers does your mom like?”

“The kind that smell nice.” You said with a wink.

You made him laugh again. “I think I can work with that.”

**********

Dinner with your family went pretty well. Your brothers and stepfather seemed to approve, your mom did too although she did wonder out loud why someone like Billy, who was handsome, polite, charming, and successful, wasn’t dating someone more in his “league.” She basically took a jab at you for working at a job you love instead of doing something that she approved of or considered “successful.”

Billy stood up for you even though he didn’t have to. “Your daughter is a wonderful person, ma’am. She’s funny, a hard worker, giving, she’s beautiful inside and out, and she’s an excellent teacher and coach. I’ve learned so much from her, and you should be really proud of her.”

It was the first time in a long time your mother was actually speechless.

You found yourself alone in the kitchen for a minute while everyone else was outside by the pool, Billy stepped inside and caught you brushing the tears away from your face.

“Oh so you’re hiding in here…hey what’s wrong, sweet girl?” Billy asked.

You tried to put a smile on your face. “You didn’t have to do that, Billy. I’m kind of used to being a disappointment to my mother, at least she has two other kids that she’s proud of.”

“Look at me, y/n.” He said firmly. “I didn’t say anything out there that wasn’t true. If she can’t see that, then that’s on her but you’ve NEVER disappointed me…NEVER!”

His thumbs caught the fresh tears that streaked down your cheeks.

“Alright, maybe a little bit when you suggested I wear a Speedo but that’s the only time.” Billy joked.

You cracked a smile and even chuckled a little bit.

“There it is, there’s that beautiful smile.” He said.

Pushing yourself up onto your toes, your lips met his and your nails scraped gently against his scalp. You could tell he loved it when you did that, he always closed his eyes and lightly pressed his forehead to yours.

“Thank you, Billy.” You whispered in his ear.

If you weren’t in love with him before, you definitely were now. Billy wasn’t the only one who had a hard time expressing his feelings, you weren’t sure that your feelings would be reciprocated so you held back even though it pained you to do so. You wanted to tell him more than anything how you felt about him but it scared you so you just kept it to yourself…for now.

You just enjoyed the moment of him holding you, picking you up and placing you on the kitchen counter, looking up at you with his deep brown eyes and kissing you with a passion that told you he never wanted to let you go.

You were interrupted by one of your brothers walking through the door and saying “Ummm, we put food on that counter ya know.”

“OMGoodness, you have the WORST timing, ya know!” You snapped but couldn’t help cracking a smile.

Your brother extended his arm to shake Billy’s hand. “Thank you for sticking up for my sister, Bill. Our mother doesn’t always realize the things she says are sometimes hurtful and not helpful. I try and remind her of that but you beat me to it this time, so thank you. It’s definitely cool if you date my sister.”

The look on Billy’s face as your brother was talking to him was priceless. You could see he really appreciated being told that he was “good enough,” after going through his entire life thinking he would never be good enough for anyone. Tears of sorrow were replaced with happy tears and your brother hugged you until he squeezed all of the air out of your lungs.

“Alright, good talk. I’ll see you guys out there. Ready…BREAK!” Your brother said as he walked outside and left you and Billy in the kitchen, grinning from ear to ear.

**********

Your visit home had turned into a balancing act of training, alone time with Billy, and quality time spent with your family which you think you did a pretty good job of.

Friday morning’s swim was better than Thursday’s. You pushed him a little harder, pushed him to go a little bit faster and he still only went off course a couple of times. Billy was still disappointed in himself for going off course but his time improved anyway so you praised him for that.

“40 minutes this time, Billy. And that’s even with you losing your way for a minute. You’re doing really well.” You said.

A sly smile spread across his face. “So do I get a reward, sweet girl?” He asked.

“Mr. Russo, I’ve ‘rewarded’ you plenty of times so far this weekend and it’s been two days.” You pinched his chin with your forefinger and your thumb before kissing him. “I do have to help set up for the party so I can’t stay out with you all afternoon. You can come help too if you don’t have any other plans.”

“Well, I just have to get a birthday present for your brother but I could come by after that.” He said.

His answer surprised you. “Billy…that’s very sweet of you but you don’t have to get him a present.”

“Uh, I was invited to a birthday party, of course I need to bring a gift.” Billy said.

Aside from the little bit of tension between you and your mother, the weekend so far had been more than you could have ever dreamed it could be. When you agreed to help Billy train for the triathlon, you didn’t expect to fall for him. He made it hard not to, especially once he started opening up to you when he didn’t have to.

Guys like Billy didn’t form attachments because they could be used against them, he was taught they made him weak, and he never wanted to be appear defenseless. The perfect soldier wasn’t emotional, never left themselves unprotected, they did their job and walked away. Billy Russo is the perfect soldier, or rather he was the perfect soldier until he met you.

“Ok handsome, let’s hit the showers and you can take me to lunch.” You said with a slight smile.

Billy smiled back. “Sounds perfect.” He said.

**********

Saturday morning’s swim, Billy did even better than the day before. He improved his time by another five minutes and even came close to catching up to you but the smile that stretched across his face when you told him his time was so pure, like a child on Christmas morning.

“So close! I almost caught you, y/n!” He exclaimed.

You weren’t sure you had ever seen him that excited before and it’s not like you weren’t trying or letting him catch up to you. He was pushing himself harder each time to try and beat you, and if Billy was going to beat you, he was going to have to earn it. You never let anyone win.

“Almost isn’t winning, Russo. You know that! But you’ve improved so much, Billy and I am SO proud of you.” You said throwing your arms around his neck, catching him a little off guard. When he caught you, he fell backwards, taking you with him and landing with a big splash.

When you finally recovered from your laughter and finished drying off, Billy kissed your forehead and said he wanted to tell you something.

“Baby, I can’t remember the last time I had a weekend like this. It’s just been so—nice. I almost don’t want to leave tomorrow.” He said staring out at the water, his toes wiggling in the sand, and you observing how happy Billy looked.

He just stared at the view in front of him in amazement, squinting a little from the glare reflecting off of the water, little beads of water dripping from his raven colored hair and marking the sand with small round indentations and then washing away with the incoming tide.

For a brief moment, you were frozen in time, not wanting the weekend to be over yet either but you still had one more day and one last open water swim before you leave tomorrow. Both the river and Billy’s face were calm and quiet, you almost didn’t want to disturb him.

“We have one more swim tomorrow morning, handsome. But you’re right, it has been nice. I’ve had a really great time with you.” Your voice hitched a little.

Billy turned away from the water to look at you, the sun hitting his face and warming the color of his eyes. They never veered away from you as he closed the gap between your bodies, your pulse quickening and the butterflies stirring, waiting in anticipation for him to place his lips on yours.

The comfort you felt in Billy’s embrace was soothing, you were safe in his arms and he was safe in yours as he captured your lips with his own. The sun warmed your faces, drying the water on your skin as your lips parted slightly, tasting the salt on his soft lips. A slight moan escaped your lips as he placed gentle kisses along your jaw and down your neck.

“Mmmmm…we have a party to get to, Mr. Russo.” You hummed, with a slightly disappointed tone to your voice.

“Alright beautiful, I guess we should get goin’.” He grumbled, matching your disappointed tone. “Oh I got your brother a really cool drone. You think he’ll like it?” He asked.

“Oh he’s a giant man child, so he’s gonna love that. You did good, baby.”

You gave Billy a quick kiss on the cheek and he took you home so you could get ready for the party while he went back to his hotel to get ready. You couldn’t wait to see him later.

**********

Everything about the party was a success. There were a lot of laughs, good food, games, and music. Billy never let you wander too far, he just wanted you to stay close and you couldn’t blame him. Your family could be a bit aggressive with the questions and there were a couple of times where you mouthed to him “I’m sorry.” But he handled himself really well. Even your mother seemed to behave for the most part.

Your brother was ecstatic over the gift that Billy gave him. “Sis!! Bill got me a drone! It’s fuckin’ awesome!”

Your mother was quick to jump in. “LANGUAGE!”

The evening was capped off with a fireworks display in the front yard. Your brother wanted fireworks for his birthday because, why not?

Billy leaned in to tell you he had a great time. “Everyone made me feel so—welcome, baby. I don’t know how to thank you or thank your family.”

“You just did, handsome. And you’re very welcome.” You snaked your arms around his waist.

He kissed the top of your head and you pulled him close to whisper in his ear. “How about we get outta here and go make some fireworks of our own?”

He smiled a wicked smile and said “I’ll get the car.”

**********

Sunday morning you said your goodbyes to your family, then Billy picked you up for one last open water swim before heading back to the city. It was so good to see everyone and you told them you would be back next month for the triathlon.

Billy posted his best time that day, he felt confident that he would be able to finish the swim with a decent time and you were certain that he would do well.

“I just wanna take in this view for a little longer, sweet girl.” He said.

You bit down on your lower lip, smiled, and nodded. “Ok Billy, but we still have to shower and you need to check out before we head back.” You stated.

He kissed you on the temple. “Just a few more minutes, baby.”

The ride back to the city was a lot like the ride out of the city. There was a lot of talking, laughing, and singing along with the radio. But you still couldn’t bring yourself to tell Billy how you truly felt about him.

He knows you care about him and he cares for you too but he doesn’t know how deep your feelings are for him. The two of you were having fun together, what if he doesn’t want to put a label on it? What if he doesn’t love you back? You just don’t want to mess up what you have with him.

So for now, you’ll just continue to do what you have been doing. It’s back to training in the pool on Monday.

**********

Monday, 3 o’clock.

Billy was always very punctual, he was never late. He texted around 3:15 saying he was sorry and stuck at work so couldn’t train today and tomorrow wasn’t looking good either with his work schedule. He said he would call you later.

But he didn’t.

A week had passed and still nothing but a bunch of “I’m sorry” texts and he blew off your workouts. Why? He said he had a great time and liked being around your family. What could have changed?

At first you were upset, you let Billy in and this is what he does with your heart? A few texts here and there and that’s supposed to be ok? Something is up and you were going to find out what it was.

While sitting at home one night, a text came through. Hoping it was Billy, you picked it up only to see it was from your friend Rachel, she worked at the pool also. Her shift was usually after yours. It said:

I figured you’d want to know that lieutenant hot stuff has been coming in for the past week around 5 every day. He just got here. You want me to punch him in the mouth for you?

You were furious but you just texted back:

No, it’s ok. I’ll do that myself. I’ll be there in a few minutes.

You were so angry, you couldn’t see straight. White hot rage burned the back of your eyes while in the Uber on your way to the sports club, going over what you wanted to say to him in your head, not sure if you were going to be able to keep it together long enough to give him a piece of your mind.

Humiliation was the word that came to mind at the moment. It hurt so much that your knees were shaking uncontrollably as you walked down the stairs toward the pool, grabbing on to the wall when you felt like your legs were going to give out. The powerful pain in your chest was crushing, like Billy had a hold of your heart and was squeezing until there wasn’t anything left.

The thick air in the pool area made you nauseous and seeing him swimming in the far lane had you seeing red as you hurriedly walked over to him.

He knew he was caught.

“Ok, before you yell at me, lemme explain.” He started to say.

“SAVE IT RUSSO!” You yelled and didn’t care who heard you or that you were making a scene. “Ya know, as far as I’m concerned, you can keep coming in when I’m not here. You have made it very clear that you got what you needed from me—“

He cut you off. “Y/n, listen—I just—well I needed some time—“

You interrupted him. “Hey! I wasn’t finished! You got what you needed from me professionally AND personally so congratulations, well played MR. Russo! I trusted you and I fell for you, I thought I was—“ You stopped because you were choking on your tears. “You shared things with me that—ya know what? I can’t do this—goodbye Billy.”

You quickly turned on your heels and headed back toward the locker room. Jumping out of the pool, Billy immediately followed you, trying to catch up to you. When he finally caught up to you, he grabbed you by the wrist and turned you around to face him.

“I wanna explain myself baby, please.” He pleaded.

“Don’t you dare ‘baby’ me. Let me go, Billy. NOW! Have a good time at the triathlon, I won’t be there.”

You pulled yourself free from his grasp and he watched as the door closed behind you. Realizing that he broke your heart, he was in pain too. It was a strange feeling for him, it almost made it hard for him to catch his breath.

The constricting feeling in his chest was painful enough to the point where he needed to sit down, he saw the hate in your eyes and his were filled with sadness like he had just lost his best friend. You were right, he shared things with you that he never really shared with anyone else, you knew about his scars on the outside as well as the ones on the inside.

He trusted you with his heart, with his soul, the feeling of vulnerability was a new sensation for him and he got scared. He was not prepared for anyone to tear down the wall he had built, he said he would never be hurt like that again. If he doesn’t get close, he can’t be hurt, it can’t be taken away if you don’t have it in the first place. That’s what he always told himself.

It’s why he didn’t “do” relationships, but you were different. He couldn’t stop himself from sharing his stories with you, they escaped from his mouth like blood from an open wound. He didn’t want to stop himself, it was just easy with you. You were his best friend and he was in love with you.

Only he was alone now. Staring down at the tile floor, he could still see your shoe prints that you left behind, remembering the time you playfully yelled at him for having his street shoes on the pool deck.

Your words echoed in his head “I trusted you and I fell for you, I thought I was—“ You stopped before saying the only word that came to his mind…“special.” You were special to him and he wanted you back. He wanted to tell you he was in love with you too, but how was he going to do that now? He blew it. No…he couldn’t give up. That’s not what a good soldier does. He’ll find a way, he always finds a way.

**********

The next three weeks consisted of working, swimming, and not much else. You continued to swim to try and get your mind off of Billy Russo but you failed, you were constantly thinking of him. He tried calling, texting, and sending flowers. All of them went unanswered and it hurt each time you declined his call or left his texts unread but you were upset, angry, frustrated, and confused.

Some days you had thought about waiting for him to come in to swim. Rachel told you he continued to swim in the early evenings around 5 but you decided against it. He messed up, not you but it didn’t stop you from missing him.

Billy’s smile, his laugh…you missed those the most. You loved making him laugh, seeing the laugh lines around his eyes crinkle every time he cracked a smile. You missed the way he caressed your face before he kissed you, when he would keep you close while walking together, your fingers laced perfectly with one another like you were made for him and he was made for you.

The shared salt water kisses from your weekend together played on a constant loop in your memories and him defending you against the harsh criticism from your mother just made you love him that much more. “You’ve NEVER disappointed me…NEVER!”

What changed? Maybe you should have let him explain himself but you were just so angry with him, maybe he deserved that chance. And you lied to him when you said you weren’t going to be at the triathlon, you made a commitment to work it so you couldn’t back out now. They needed all the help they could get for the amount of people that participate.

And even though you didn’t open his text messages, you always saw the preview of each one. “I’m sorry…please call me…I need to talk to you…I miss you.” You wanted to answer, you were drawn to Billy like a magnet, it was difficult to stop yourself but you refrained.

He wouldn’t try this hard if he didn’t care, right?

The day before leaving to go home for the triathlon, you stopped to pick up your mail before going upstairs for the night. After thumbing through countless pieces of junk mail and a couple bills, you found an envelope with your name handwritten on it. The return address was Billy’s, you felt your pulse jump and warmth spread across your chest. You decided to wait until you went inside your apartment to read it.

After throwing your things on the kitchen table, you ripped open the letter. The Anvil logo appeared at the top and his apologetic words stretched across the page.

Dear y/n,

I know you’re angry with me and I don’t blame you. I’m angry with myself. The time we spent together, with your family was one of the best times I’ve had, probably ever. Obviously I don’t know what it’s like to have a family and the night we drove back to the city, I had to be alone with my thoughts. I didn’t like it, I didn’t like that you weren’t right next to me but it made me think what if we don’t work out? You brought me into your life, into your family, your whole family and I thought, what if I could never be part of that again?

My entire life, almost everyone that I’ve ever cared about has been taken from me or left me. You know about my mother, but my friends I had at the group home, they either died or ended up in prison. With the exception of Frankie, most of my marine buddies died in combat or I lost contact with. I thought it would be easier just to push you away so I wouldn’t have to think about the possibility of you leaving me. I know I’m not the easiest person to get along with.

And you’re right, I shared things with you that I normally don’t tell people about. You words play over and over in my head like a broken record. “I trusted you and I fell for you, I thought I was…” And that’s when you stopped but I knew you what you were going to say. You were going to say “special” and I want to tell you that you are.

I fell for you too. It’s not easy to make me laugh but you do, I find myself grinning like an idiot when I think about you (Frankie makes fun of me when he catches me) and you never let me get away with anything when you were training me. I love how hard you pushed me to help make me better and the fact that you took time away from your vacation to help me, no one has ever cared enough to do something like that for me.

I know I don’t deserve another chance, I hurt you and I’m so sorry. I don’t want all those hours we spent training to go to waste so I’m still going to do the triathlon. I don’t have anyone to blame but myself that you won’t be there, but just know that I love you and I hope one day you can forgive me.

Love, Billy

Your tears dripped on to the letter causing the ink to run a little, all of his feelings written out in front of you on that piece of paper, it must have been incredibly difficult for him to write this. The pain in your chest eased when you read the words “I love you.” He does feel the same way you do, you were special to him, and he needed to know that even despite him being difficult at times, driving you crazy, questioning you every step of the way during your training sessions, you still love him.

The ride home was a lot different than the last time. The train was loud and uncomfortable but thinking about those three words again “I love you” brought you to a place that you never wanted to leave. You never deleted the pictures of you and Billy off of your phone, he was still your lock screen and you’d catch yourself looking at it from time to time.

His handsome face, those liquid brown eyes of his, sometimes you swear you could still feel his beard tickle your cheeks. It would make you chuckle to feel it brush against your skin, he knew that so he would do it on purpose and really make you laugh.

You were thankful your parents didn’t ask too many questions about Billy when you arrived home, they didn’t really need to know anything yet so Friday and Saturday were uneventful but you had quality time with your family and saw a couple of old friends while you were in town.

Trying to sleep on Saturday night was challenging. Your nerves were firing all throughout your body and the butterflies in your stomach were not the good kind. It was more like a wave of nausea crashing in the pit of your stomach over and over again. Every time you closed your eyes, you would see Billy’s face, remembering all the times you made him laugh, the times he would question you and you would have to ask him “Who’s the teacher here, me or you?”

He was the one used to being in charge and this time he wasn’t which bothered him a little at first but he wouldn’t be asking for help if he knew what he was doing. He liked being challenged and liked that you didn’t back down when he would push back.

You were excited to see him tomorrow but also very nervous, the last time you saw him was when you gave him an earful and every fiber in your body hurt to do that but he had to know that he hurt you. What were you going to say to him tomorrow? What would he say to you? In a matter of hours, you would find out but for now you should try and get some sleep.

**********

Even though it was early, it was already hot and humid as you walked across the parking lot to meet up with the other guards you were going to be working with. You made sure to get there really early, hoping to not run into Billy yet. You wanted him to finish the race first, as to not distract him from doing what he needed to do.

And the earlier the better because then you would get to choose where you wanted to be whether that’s out on the water or if you wanted to be on shore. So you chose to be out on the fire department’s boat. High up on the bow of the boat you would have the perfect view of all the swimmers in the water.

After gathering all of your equipment, you heard a low gravelly voice call out your name.

“Y/N?” He said.

You turned around to see a man with dark brown hair, brown eyes, and his nose looked like it had been broken a handful of times but he was still ruggedly handsome. You thought this had to be Frank.

“H—Hi.” You said, nervously.

He extended his hand to shake yours. “Frank Castle. It’s really nice to finally meet you.”

“Yeah, it’s nice to finally meet you too. Billy talked about you a lot.” You said.

“Bill said you weren’t going to be here though, he told me what happened but I saw you walk through the lot and I recognized you from the pictures that he showed me.” Said Frank.

You had that sick feeling in your stomach again. “Well, I did make a commitment. I would have felt really bad if I backed out so I needed to be here. And full disclosure, I wanted to surprise him.”

Frank smirked. “Well he’ll definitely be surprised, kid. He hasn’t really been himself lately, he misses you. I don’t blame you for being angry though, told him he was stupid for pushing you away but he’s stubborn as I’m sure you know.”

You chuckled a little and nodded as tears stung the back of your eyes.

“But I’ll let him speak for himself, you plan on talkin’ to him when this is over, yeah?” He asked.

Your hands were shaking a little. “Yes I do but don’t tell him I’m here, Frank. Please? I don’t want to distract him, I still want him to do well.”

He nodded. “Yeah alright, I won’t tell him. I better get back to him before he comes lookin’ for me. He just wanted someone here to support him, ya know?” He said.

“Well now he has two people.” You said with a warm smile.

Frank smiled back.

“I hope to see you too after the race, Frank. You’re a good friend to Billy.” You said.

He pulled you in for a quick hug. “I’ll see you after the race, kid. Oh he’s number 081, by the way. Don’t let my boy drown.”

“Never.” You said and headed off toward the boats.

The swimmers would go in two heats as to not have too many of them in the water at once. It made it easier on the guards to better keep track of everyone in the water.

You asked if you could borrow the fireman’s binoculars to look at everyone standing on shore, they were all ready to take off as soon as the gun went off. Almost frantically, you searched the crowd looking for number 81. It would either be pinned to his chest or if he’s not wearing wet suit, it will be on his swim cap.

You found him standing off to the side, not close to anyone but then watched him move closer to the inside of the crowd. Maybe he remembered your advice to stay toward the inner arc rather than the outside, he doesn’t want to make the swim longer than it has to be. And there will be less of a chance he’ll see you on the boat.

The lifeguard in charge gave you a bullhorn in case you needed to get a swimmer’s attention if they were going off course, sometimes the whistle wasn’t enough.

They were getting close to starting, the swimmers took their positions, pulled their goggles down and waited for gun to go off. As soon as it went off, the first heat of swimmers plunged into the water.

It churned with the amount of splashes between arms and legs furiously moving through the water, the bay was full of bright green, blue and white swim caps dancing across the surface of the water and the reflection of the sun bouncing off people’s goggles made it a little difficult to see them as they turned their heads to breathe.

Billy was in the first heat. You saw him take off but lost him just as quickly as you found him but you had to concentrate on keeping everyone else safe and on course. About a third of the people in the first heat had passed you on the boat, then it was up to the guards in the kayaks to keep an eye on them.

One swimmer in particular was swimming toward the boat you were on. Shouting into the bullhorn, you told them they were off course. As they got closer to the boat, you saw the number on the swim cap, 081. Your heart moved from your chest into your throat when he stopped to tread water in front of you which made you a little angry because that was messing up his time.

“What the fuck are you doing?!!!” You shouted at him.

“I thought you said you weren’t coming.” He said, flashing his perfect smile at you.

“I’m gonna drown you myself if you don’t get goin’!!!” You yelled.

He laughed a little. “I love you.” He finally said.

You brought the bullhorn up to your mouth and aimed it right at him. “I love you too, Billy. NOW MOVE IT, SOLDIER!!!! GO!! GO!! GO!!!”

He laughed again and started back towards the rest of the swimmers and just like that, you lost him again in a sea of swim caps. It would be awhile before you would see him again as it was only the first leg of the race, he still had biking and running to finish.

**********

The fireman brought you back to shore after all the swimmers were out of the water and you couldn’t do anything except wait until he crossed the finish line. So you found Frank and waited for Billy together, he told you stories, you told him stories and before you knew it you started to see people cross the finish line.

You had to wait a little while longer before you could see Billy get closer to the finish line and as he crossed, he didn’t slow down or stop. He ran right to you, his lips crashing onto yours, and picking you up in a tight embrace.

“I am so, so sorry baby!” He mumbled into the side of your neck.

A smile stretched across your face, you raked your fingers through his wet hair and told him “I know, my love. I know. I got your letter.”

Breathing heavily, he just continued to stare at you, not caring about anyone else around him or what else was going on, he didn’t even care about what his overall time was. He was just happy to have you in his arms again.

He pulled away briefly to talk to Frank.

“Frankie.” He pulled him in for a hug. “Thank you for being here, man. It really means a lot.”

“Proud of you, Bill. Really. I’m gonna go wander around so you two can talk, yeah? I’ll be back.” He said.

You found a shady spot under a tree so the two of you could sit and talk, Billy could catch his breath and you could rest your legs because you’ve been on your feet all day.

“Did you really mean everything you said in that letter, Billy?” You asked him.

Billy ran his fingers through his damp hair and focused his eyes on yours. “I meant it all, sweet girl. All of it. I love you…I’ve just always been afraid of people leaving me so I just do it before they can.” He said with a hitch in his voice.

“I get why you would think that. If that’s all you’ve ever known, then I understand. You still hurt me, Billy.” You said. “But I love you too.”

You gently brushed his beard with your thumbs and leaned in to kiss him.

He took your hand in his, gingerly touched your knuckles with his fingertips, and looked down at your hands when he started to speak again.

“Ya know, a lot of people know where these scars came from.” With your fingers, he started to trace the scars left behind by the bullets. “But no one really knows how…” He placed your hand over his heart. “How I got these…except you.”

His words broke your heart, he had shared those feelings with you and now you understood that his outside scars weren’t the ones that hurt the most, it was the inside ones. He couldn’t bear the thought of possibly adding to the deep scars on his heart.

“I want to help heal your heart, not break it, Billy.” Immediately, your eyes welled up with tears, they spilled over and ran down your cheeks. “If you’ll let me.” You said.

Before you could say anything else, Billy’s lips were on yours, his hands tangled in your hair, and he whispered against your mouth. “I love you…so much.”

“I love you too.” You replied.

As if right on cue, Frank reappeared after his walk.

“Alright lovebirds, I’m starvin’. Let’s go get somethin’ to eat but we’ll let Bill take a shower first, I’m not takin’ him anywhere smelling like he does right now.” He joked.

You let out a chuckle. “Yeah ya know, you are a little ripe, handsome.”

Billy looked at Frank and back at you. “It’s that bad, huh?”

You winked and smiled at Billy.

“There is something I wanna ask you y/n.” Frank said.

“Sure. Go for it.” You said.

Frank narrowed his eyes and looked slightly confused when he asked “With that many swimmers in the water, how do you know if everyone made it out alright?”

You smiled before answering him. “By the bikes.” You said.

Billy and Frank looked at each other with confused looks on their faces.

“If all the bikes are gone, everyone made it out of the water.” You said.

Billy and Frank pointed at one another and in unison said “Ohhhhhhhhh.”

You shook your head and let out a soft laugh.

With the early afternoon sun beating down, Billy collected his bike and walked away from his very first triathlon not knowing what his final time was. He wouldn’t find out until later that he placed 50th overall among a crowd of over 300 but he didn’t care. As long as you were walking with him—it didn’t matter what his time was. He knew he had already won.

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[moonseonghwa]

Cruel summer 3 - P.SH

word count: 2k, fluff

warnings: none

a/n: I'm back with the series, enjoy!!!

series masterlist

You felt Seonghwa’s hand ghosting your side as he guided you through the branches, back to his motorcycle. The streaks of the sun fell through the trees, landing on your still damp hair. He pulled you to the side just before you almost stumbled over a branch, his bare skin feeling hot against yours as you lingered on the feeling a bit too long.

‘’Are you dating someone?’’ 

‘’Why do you want to know?’’ You replied, swimming a bit further to keep a small distance between you and him.

‘’Just curious, you’ve been asking me a lot of questions so now it’s my turn’’ He replied, closing the distance again.

‘’I’ve asked three questions’’ You shrugged, before leaning back into the water. ‘’But no, I’m not dating someone’’

‘’Good’’ 

The ride back was better, as you started enjoying the views more instead of being terrified to lift your head. Seonghwa had insisted you put on his sweater since he noticed your shivering every time a chilly breeze came by, making him ride with only a black tee on, yet his body still felt warm against yours. 

‘’Want to get some food?’’ Seonghwa asked when he came to a halt in front of the red light. ‘’I know a good place’’

‘’Yeah, sure’’

A few minutes later he pulled up in front of a small restaurant, the waitress- a woman in her early 60s- already seeming to recognize him as she waved to both of you. You hopped off, taking off his jacket before wanting to hand him his sweater back.

‘’Keep it on, it’s chilly’’ He said, before walking towards the restaurant. 

‘’Seonghwa, who is this pretty girl?’’ The elderly woman asked, referring to you as she gave you a hug.

‘’A friend of mine, Y/n, this is Seo-eun’’ He replied, hugging her after ‘’How have you been?’’ 

‘’Good, as always, come on, I’ll sit you guys down’’ She said, getting inside as you followed her.

The inside was small, a few tables placed on the sides and a bar in the corner. She guided you through the back entrance, revealing the beautiful terrace which had a perfect view of the ocean. Fairy lights hung spread out above the tables, and there was a huge tree in the middle of the terrace. You watched in awe before she sat you down at a table in the far back which had the perfect view. You ordered drinks before your eyes were stuck on the beautiful beach. 

‘’You like it?’’ 

‘’Are you kidding? It’s beautiful here’’ You replied, ‘’How do you know the woman from before?’’ 

‘’She used to be friends with my grandma when she still lived here, we’d eat here often’’ He replied, a smile forming on his face as his eyes were focused on the elderly woman. He looked so peaceful like this, the genuine smile making the corners of your mouth lift up. ‘’What do you want to eat?’’

‘’Pizza?’’ You said, after checking the menu to see all kinds of pizzas. ‘’But I’m not sure if I want margherita or pepperoni’’   You frowned, both of them looking delicious. 

‘’I’ll get the pepperoni, you’ll get the margaritha and we can share, hm?’’ 

‘’Deal’’

-

‘’I’m so full’’ You said, leaning back in your seat after both of you finished the pizzas. Seonghwa laughed at you, still munching on the additional bread. ‘’How are you still eating? you ate way more than me’’

‘’I’m a surfer, that’s what we do if we’re not surfing’’ He wiggled his eyebrows at you, making you chuckle. ‘’I’m going to use the bathroom real quick’’ He said, before getting up. 

The woman returned to your table to clean up, stocking the plates on one another as she smiled at you. 

“I’m glad you’re friends with our Seonghwa, he usually never brings anyone around here after what happened” She spoke up while wiping the table.

“After what happened?” You asked, confused about what she could be talking about. 

“He used to come here with his mother, but she sadly passed away a few years ago, since then he always eats here alone” She explained, making you look at her with a somber face. “You must be really special to come here with him”

You smiled at her softly, still confused why he’d take you here, but before you could ask more, Seonghwa popped up behind her, asking what the two of you were chatting about. 

“Nothing much honey, the food is on me tonight”

“No, I can’t accept that” you defended, getting up to walk after her.

 “No use, she always gets what she wants” Seonghwa interrupted you, making you frown. However, you also always stood your ground, so you went after her, playfully arguing with her to pay. 

“Told you” Seonghwa said from behind you a few minutes later, making you turn around with an annoyed look. 

“Fine, but next time is on me” You defended.

“Yeah, we’ll see”

-

You woke up startled the next day, a faint knocking coming from downstairs, which you knew wasn’t your parents' since they went hiking early in the morning. So you quickly got out of bed, tip-toeing downstairs to see who was at the door, spotting someone you didn’t expect.

“Wooyoung, what are you doing here?” You said after opening the door, as he greeted you with a bright smile. 

“We’re going surfing” He replied, before looking at your pajamas “We thought you would be awake by now” 

“It’s 9 in the morning” 

“I know, so get ready, and let’s go” He pushed you inside, hushing you to go upstairs to change. 

When you got to the beach, Seonghwa and the rest were already there, and a smile formed on his face when you locked eyes with him. He quickly averted his gaze when Wooyoung looked at him, not wanting the loud person to make anything out of it. Despite his attempts trying to hide it, the look on his face could be seen by the other boys, as they followed his gaze toward you. 

Because in all honesty, Seonghwa couldn’t get you out of his mind after last night. He couldn’t stop reminiscing about your eyes, your straight hair which turned curly after it got wet, and the scent of your vanilla perfume. Not to begin about how much he liked how light-hearted you were, your free spirit making him feel calm when the mazes and the madness in his mind took over. 

You followed the guys into the water, laying belly-down on Yunho’s blue surfboard as you paddled further away from the shore with Seonghwa by your side. 

‘’Why do I have a feeling you're pretty good at this?’’ He asked, as both of you moved over the waves.

‘’I haven’t done this in a good year, but I think I still got the hang of it’’ You winked before turning around and following the wave as you got up on the board. The ocean underneath you moving as you started to enjoy the feeling of the waves, riding the motions for what felt like hours before jumping back into the water as the shore came close.

‘’This feeling is the best’’ You said to Yunho, him agreeing with you as he paddled back with you. 

After an hour, your body started to ache, not familiar with the amount of exercise as you sat on the board while the other guys were still moving, testing out different techniques and tricks. Seonghwa stopped when you did, floating on his board next to you as you watched the others in amusement. Wooyoung's laugh making a smile form on both of your faces.

‘’He’s a menace’’ Seonghwa spoke up, making you chuckle.

‘’The best kind’’ You agreed, before turning to Seonghwa ‘’How long have you been surfing?’’

‘’For as long as I remember, my dad always took me here’’ He replied, his hand finding the water as he started drawing circles in it.

‘’Did he surf too?’’

‘’No, we’re really different’’ He replied, tone changing to a more serious one, which made you wonder if you were asking too much. 

‘’Sometimes that could be a good thing’’ You said, looking at the clear ocean water, Seonghwa’s hand coming closer to yours, ghosting it. 

You looked at his hands, the circles had stopped, but his hand was still in the water just like yours. He was looking down too, hand inching closer and just before they could touch each other, you heard yelling from the shore, making the two of you retract immediately to see the group waving at you.

‘’Let’s get coffee!’’ 

-

Hongjoong came by, all nine of you entering the café of your aunt as you already noticed her behind the counter, busy with an order. The bell above the door rang, making your aunt look up as she was shocked to see so many people before her eyes landed on yours. You introduced them to her before making them sit down so you could get their coffees. Hongjoong and Seonghwa helped you out behind the counter as you brewed the coffee, giving them the task of adding ice and milk.

When Hongjoong went to bring the first four, Seonghwa tried his self-made —with a bit of your help— iced coffee, the whipped cream on top leaving a white trail on the corner of his lips, making you instinctively wipe it away with your thumb as Seonghwa was taken aback by the sudden move. His eyes were locked on yours as you leaned back, before taking a bit of whipped cream on his finger and bopping your nose with it, making you laugh as you grabbed his arms from taking even more whipped cream. You noticed your aunt wiggle her eyebrows behind you as you and Seonghwa were laughing, your head shaking at her before she went back to work. 

The rest of the day went by quickly as you stayed to help your aunt out after coffee. The boys also helped for about an hour, thankful for the free coffee, that they couldn’t just leave without at least doing the dishes. It was fun with them around, the crazy stories making you laugh so hard you had to hold your belly because it started to hurt. 

After dinner at home, you felt a bit low though, thinking it would be a good idea to walk around the beach as the sun just finished setting, making it darker outside. You grabbed a hoodie and walked out of the door, leaving your slippers at the end of the path before starting to walk down the beach as you followed the shoreline. Though you were soon startled by a figure sitting a bit further, the outline of his body seeming familiar. 

‘’Seonghwa?’’ You called out, making him lift his head at the voice.

‘’Y/n?’’ 

You walked up to him, dropping down next to him as he smiled at you. ‘’Why are you here?’’ He asked, wondering what thoughts filled your head to come here. 

‘’I wanted to get out for a bit, the house was lonely’’ 

‘’Where are your parents?’’

‘’Out for drinks with their friends, they are far more social than me’’ You chuckled, ‘’And you?’’

‘’I needed to clear my head for a bit’’ He said, looking back at the ocean, the waves clashing against each other, as the sound filled your mind with peace.

You remained silent, waiting for him to continue if he wanted to. Yet he didn’t say anything else, so you figured he didn’t want to talk about it, the look on his face did not prove otherwise. 

‘’The ocean looks nice tonight’’ You changed the subject, falling down on the sand, your arm coming up behind your head to lean on it. ‘’Lay down, you can see the stars like this’’ Seonghwa laughed at your suddenness, falling down next to you as both of you admired the stars in silence. 

‘’Beautiful, right?’’ You turned to him with a smile on your face. 

‘’Yeah,’’ He replied, looking at you as he couldn’t help but smile too.

‘’I don’t know what it is that made you need to clear your head, but I hope it doesn’t stress you anymore’’ 

‘’You make me forget about it’’ He said, the thought just slipping out of his mouth without him realizing what he just said. 

‘’I’m glad’’ You replied, placing your head on his shoulder as you looked at the stars with him, time flying by with both of you simply laying with each other.

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

Part 3

Evan and I walk out into the brisk LA night.

"Brr it's chilly out here" he says. "I didn't bring a jacket. Are you cold?" He asks.

"Thanks, but I'm ok. This is still pretty warm weather for me. Although I do notice it is a bit chillier without the humidity. But I guess I haven't adjusted yet" I smile at him. He smiles back.

"So, where are you parked? " He asks

"Um, I actually ubered here, since I didn't really know the area." I reply

"Oh. Well, we can walk somewhere or I can drive us. Up to you? The only thing around here is a burger joint about a quarter mile east"

"That sounds fine to me."

We start walking. We chat small talk as we near the restaurant. I tell him I don't know the area well and I am loving the different shops here.

"Ha! I was shocked with how many porn shops are around here." He says bluntly. I laugh out loud. "Not that I frequent them or anything!!" He says with wide eyes. He rubs his eyes with his thumb. Blushing a bit.

"Eh, so what if you did. I don't offend easily" I say smiling at him.

"Good to know. Then I can let all my good jokes fly."

"Hey, I have some of my own"

"Oh, good. I hope I get to hear them..ope, we're here"

Evan opens the door for me and I thank him as I walk in. The burger joint is set up to look like an old fashioned diner. Signed autographs of various celebrities lining the wall. "Been here before, huh?" I say as I point to a picture of Evan giving a thumbs up. His burger on the table below him. His signature in the corner.

"Yea, I love this place. It's cozy and super fun atmosphere"

The sign tells us to seat ourselves and Evan puts his hand on the small of my back and lets me go ahead of him. The small gesture sends tingles to all my happy places. He tells me to pick a seat. So, I pick a small two seater in the corner. We are alone and practically sitting on top of each other. Exactly my intentions.

The server brings us a menu and I take a look. We thank her and Evan asks me what I'm in the mood for.

"Holy shit! They have Saunders cream puffs here!" I'm way too happy.

Evan laughs "What is that?"

"Well, Saunders is a Michigan based company and they sell these at the coney island diners we have there. It's a pastry with ice cream in the middle and Saunders chocolate drizzled on top. It's so fucking good. Want to just order that and split it? You have to at least try a bite of mine"

"Ok, let's do it" he says

When the server comes back I order the cream puff and tell her I'm surprised they sell them. She informs me the owner is from Michigan and he orders the supplies to be delivered here. I talk to her way too long about it and Evan just listens amused.

"I'm way too excited for this"

He laughs "I can tell"

We get the dessert and start tearing into it.

"Oh my God" Evan moans. "This should be illegal"

"I feel like I'm home right now" I moan.

"I shouldn't be stuffing my face with something that's going to make me fat with someone totally out of my league. Yet, I don't care at the moment" he chuckles.

I practically choke on my bite. "Uhhhh, I think you have that completely backwards. If that's true about anyone it's you. I would never end up with someone as hot as you.." I shut my mouth. Embarrassed. "Sorry." I blush.

"No need to apologize. Although I wouldn't say 'hot'"

"Well, I meant what I said anyway" I say staring into his eyes.

He clears his throat. "Last bite is yours"

We chat a bit longer and I look at the time on my phone. It's already 10pm. "Wow. It's getting late. I should probably get home now." My face shows my regret for having to end this night. I open my Uber app on my phone.

Evan notices "I can drive you home." He offers.

My head snaps up "Oh, that's unnecessary. You have done enough for me tonight."

"I insist. At least I know you got home safe. Then you don't have to text me that you did. Unless, you just want to text me." A sly smile on his face.

"Hard to text when I don't have your number"

"Let me drive you home and then we can fix that"

I agree. Evan insists on paying and we walk to his car. He opens the passenger door of his black Land Rover for me and I thank him. It's fancy and smells good inside. Something like musk and cedar. I imagine that's how he smelled if I was close enough to him. His voice pulls me out of my little daydream.

"Where to, miss lady?"

I tell him my address and he plugs it into his GPS. I joke that it's probably for the best cause I'm not good with directions at all. That makes him laugh.

As he's driving we sit in silence. I look out the window. I can see him look at me now and then. He doesn't speak. It's not awkward, but I decide I want to tell him something.

"Thank you for your kindness tonight" I say to him. My eyes soft. My face serious.

He turns his head to me and says "My pleasure. But I didn't do much"

"Are you kidding? You turned my whole night around. I can't even describe how I feel." I answer. I look down at my hands. And I see him reach his over and grab mine. He squeezes it. I squeeze back. And we stay like that for the rest of the drive. Fingers intertwined. It feels...natural. Like it has always been this way. His touch is comforting as he rubs my hand with his thumb.

Evan pulls up to my house and puts the car in park. I pull my phone out. "I guess we should do that number exchange before we forget" I say

"I wouldn't forget" he smiles and tells me his number. I text him a heart and we save the numbers in our phones. "I had a great night." He says.

"Me too!" I say with a huge smile. I undo my seatbelt.

"Um. Listen. Can I see you again?" Evan asks me

"I was hoping that's what you were going to say. Of course" I reply

"Really? You weren't hoping I was going to ask if I could kiss you?" His look is smoldering.

I lean in first and he meets me with no hesitation. We look into each other's eyes until our lips are close enough to touch. We close our eyes and our lips meet. His lips are full and soft and they feel like I thought they would. He's warm and the way he touches my back makes me feel secure. My mouth latches to his top lip, then his bottom. Back and forth. When we pull away he's breathing heavily. He looks cuddly in the moment. I kiss his forehead. I want to pounce on him and take care of him at the same time. His mouth finds mine again. It's more eager this time. He grabs my face gently with both of his hands. His tongue darts between my lips. I find it with mine. And we end the kiss with such passion, we both feel lightheaded.

"Would you like to come in for a bit?" I ask

He nods his head yes.

[slowroadtosantiago]

Day 24 - Sahagun to El Burgo Ranero

Only just over 11 miles today but with full packs. This next picture is representative of the day:

It was one of those days when you walked at your own pace in your own world with your playlist keeping you amused as the road was very flat following roads most of the way.

There was only one place to stop on the way and it was a bit of a way down the road so after a fitful night we packed up and had breakfast in the hostel before setting off about 7:45.

We passed through the gates of the old town and across an old bridge before starting on the main trek.

It was a cool windy morning with threatening dark clouds in the north. We each went at our own pace today. I felt tired so dropped back and just put one step in front of the other. I stuck the radio on for a bit to keep amused.

After about 7 miles we came to our coffee stop. I think everyone we knew was there - the siblings Kate and Malcolm, and we finally learned the names of the Irish/American couple we met a few days ago - Sinead and Barron. Jane administered blister treatment to Alex and we set off on our way again.

On the way out we came across a lovely climbing rose that had come out in lots of different colours.

Then it was back to the seemingly endless path by the road. This time I stuck a playlist on as Jane disappeared into the distance. She had her music on too. It’s very dusty too and our shoes and legs get covered.

We got to the hostel about 12:30. We had booked two single beds but when we got there we discovered that they had given them to Kate and Malcolm. Kate realised what had happened and came to sort it out. They didn’t have her booking at all even though she had the text proof. They did have space in the bunk room so Jane and I said we’d go there with a bottom bunk.

The albergue has a nice garden to sit in but it feels quite chilly out there today. The temperature hasn’t hit 20 today and there’s a cool wind.

The village is not very large and it looks like a Wild West setting just outside the albergue, but they did have a restaurant open. So we had another lunchtime menu del dia - smoked salmon and goats cheese salad, followed by baked cod then I had an ice cream and Jane had what looked like custard, washed down with water, a whole bottle of wine between us and bread, all for the princely sum of 13 euros each, bargain.

Jane had a nap while I had a shower and did a bit of washing. I took 4 pairs of socks with me and I only have one pair left without holes! I borrowed Jane’s needle and thread and sat in the garden doing a bit of darning. I’ll get some more in Leon in a couple of days. I also have an over shirt that I wear all the time, but it gets smelly so that needs a wash most days. We’re mainly just hand washing with the one bar of soap, I’ll treat the shirt to a hot wash in Leon.

After a rest we spent half an hour in the dining room at the hostel playing cards with Alex, then went to a different cafe in the village with her for a plate of patatas fritas and a lemonade. We were joined by Ernest and Janet who are travelling with Alex and had a pleasant hour talking about favourite musicals.

We’re back in the hostel settling down for an early night and hoping to get off to sleep before everyone comes back in for the night. The bunks are very rickety again and the slightest movement is going to make everything shake.

Hasta mañana

[battleoftheveggies]

Leafin La Vida Loca 🍃

📍 New Leaf Eatery~Siem Reap, Cambodia.

A stroll through the vibrant town of Siem Reap led our appetites to a lovely hidden eatery called New Leaf Eatery…

E: I ordered the vegan ‘meat’ & vegetable pie served with a choice of chips & baked beans or mash, vegetables & gravy. Obviously I chose mash and vegetables because I’m not unstable. The meat is ‘Omni’ meat, I assume the pie is made from scratch rather than store bought, I will say that the pastry was good, however the filling was mediocre. It was dry and lacked the herby meaty vibe of a true pie. Now I am no pie connoisseur but I am aware that a pie should be a bit saucier, just like myself. The carrots and green beans had a delightful hint of garlic and pepper but the carrots were ‘al dente’ to say the least. I could bite into them because I’m not a little bitch but still, why am I fighting for my life at the dinner table? Also, if you can see the small dish of gravy on the plate, congratulations you have 20/20 vision. Am I joke to you? Maybe it’s because I’m from North England but I like to have so much gravy it’s overflowing my plate, spilling on to the table, a flooded restaurant of gravy, that is the standard, so this was disappointing. Have you ever had dry mashed potato? An abomination to my nation. I digress, overall the dish was edible, I feel it would be unfair to expect a true authentic pie and mash moment in Cambodia. HOWEVER, no dish should leave me so incredibly parched. 3 out of 5.

G-

Always hard to choose between the comfort of a pie and the sin of a burger. But what really swung the decision was the promise of chilli con carne (or chilli sin carne on the menu) topping the beyond meat Pattie. I’m a sucker for a kick.  Watching the plates coming over, I saw the burger and was relieved to see the beauty of a promise of a successful burger. It’s been a while…  A large round home made breadcake (I’m from East Yorkshire- it’s not a bun or bap, it’s a breakcake!) made me excited. The chilli oozing out of the burger. No stinginess around here. I was happy and couldn’t wait to take a bite. Though with the size, there was no way I could eat this and not make a mess. I went with the safe option of slicing it in half. The sight of the beautiful layers of bun, cheese, salad, chilli and of course the generous sized Pattie did not disappoint.   The taste. Juicy, fresh with a slight tap of heat! I admit I like my chilli to make me sweat a little and keep grabbing at the water. This was not it! But, it caters for everyone doesn’t it. Not everyone can hack the heat so I respect the love for all eaters. I just wish I had snuck in some hot sauce or asked for more jalapeños! That’s my complaining over because I throughly enjoyed the messy delight! Did a part of me wish I had gone for the pie? Not this time. Burger cravings were well and truly met so thank you to the New Leaf Eatery. 3.5/5

New Leaf Eatery is a gem in the heart of siem reap with a menu offering to both herbivores and the carnivores. The profits go to charities (SeeBeyondBorders-Pepy-TLC & many more) which is big plus to the visit! They have donated over $40,000 and 2,000 books so far. They take environmental awareness very seriously and you can find out more on their website: https://newleafeatery.com/who-we-support/ Staff cannot be faulted… service with a smile as well as the passion to help others.  Keep tuned for more eats!

[guardianreadersofthegalaxy]

If I were on the Off Menu podcast:

Still or sparkling water: Still, obviously. Sparkling water tastes rank. One time when I was a kid, a friend's mum gave me sparkling water that had gone flat so I couldn't tell it was sparkling. I couldn't swallow it so I just spat it out all over my pizza.

POPPADOMS OR BREAD?!?!?!?!: Usually I'd say bread - something a bit oily with olives in it and big flakes of sea salt - but I've got a big meal planned and I don't want to fill up. So i'll have a single poppadom and some mango chutney.

Your dream starter: This is kind of academic because I'm ordering small plates, but the first proper dish I want going in my mouth is boquerones en vinagre. It's fresh anchovies marinated in vinegar and oil and seasoned with garlic and parsley and the best boquerones are made in Cambio De Tercio, a tapas restaurant in South Kensington. And to accompany that, I'd like a cold glass of gazpacho (cold tomato soup). I had this a lot in Cádiz and it's the most refreshing thing.

Your dream main course: Ok, deep breath... I want the crunchy prawns we had at my wedding, the potatoes with aioli I ate in Valencia, an Insalata Caprese (tomatoes, mozarella & basil) made by my dad, deep fried courgette flowers, a small ramekin of my partner's courgette carbonara w. homemade linguini, grilled halloumi from Bar Mezze (a greek restaurant in Muswell Hill my family used to go to before it closed), taramasalata, tzatziki, baba ghanoush (cod roe dip, yoghurt/cucumber dip & smoked aubergine dip) and a big Turkish flatbread for dipping and sauce moppage.

Your dream side dish: Again, academic because of the small plates but I'll go for the broccoli w. garlic and chilli from Boulangerie Bon Matin in Finsbury park. The broccoli's nicely grilled and not too oily or salty and the chilli gives it a real zing. Also, in my fantasy, my partner's sat across from me eating the wood roasted chicken from Moro in Islington and she's giving me little forkfuls to try.

Your dream dessert: I'm not much of a dessert person but I'd never say no to a slice of my mum's chocolate birthday cake. It's nothing fancy (though the layer of grated dark chocolate over the top is a classy touch), but it's as delicious now as it was when I was a kid.

Your dream drink: So before the meal even starts I'd like a Lychee Martini at the bar. Then with my boquerones, I'd like a glass of Pegoes, a Portuguese wine we had at my wedding that has an interesting banana-y taste. When the small plates arrive, I'll move on to a 3/4 pint of Mythos, a Greek beer perfect for hot days and oily food. Then with dessert I want a little glass of Sauternes, my favourite dessert wine. Then, if it's lunchtime I'll just have a homemade filter coffee, with plenty of milk.

Your dream restaurant: I'll stick with the Mediterranean theme and imagine myself in a seaside town, where it's hot but you're cooled by the breeze and you can see the boats bobbing in the bay. Occasionally a moped revs past but otherwise all you can hear are the other diners and the waves lapping against the harbour. That, but with comfortable chairs!

[fattestwriting]

Vanessa but weights 498lbs, her clothes barley fits her fat body but Vanessa knows she had job to do, being an Security Guard, she’s also gassy

"Just... *huff* one more... *huff* hour..."

Vanessa had gotten hired to be the security guard a year ago, when she was in much better shape. But now? All the free pizza vouchers and endless access to El Chips had left her more than a little portly, struggling to fit through most of the doors in the Pizzaplex.

Right now, Vanessa is struggling her way back into her favorite restaurant, the afformentioned El Chips. Since Fazbear Entertainment was cheaper than cheap, the entire menu was just stored in the back freezers, frozen and microwavable. So, every night Vanessa would camp out here and eat a varitable feast until she had to shift her post. Tonight, she through together some chimichangas, 3 layer been burritos, extra cheesy quesadillas, burning hot chilli, and the restaurant's infamous Fifty Pound Family Burrito, something they had gotten sued over more than a handful of times. And yet, for some unknown reason, nobody could ever seem to get it to stop being sold.

But none of that mattered to the blond haired woman right now. All she cared about was the 300 lbs of food sitting in front of her and how hungry she was from walking all the way here from Roxy Raceway.

So, she dug in. Vanessa's already sweat/food stained work uniform got even worse as she threw all of her manners out the window for this meal. She ate chimichangas by the handful in a single bite, she drank the chilli like it was water, and she ripped the burritos and quesadillas apart with reckless abandon. The only thing she never wasted even a drop of was the 50 lbs. burrito, as she shoved that behemoth down her gullet whole every night. She felt satisfied as she could physically feel the mass plop into her stomach acid with the rest of her little snack.

Since she had finished her meal, Vanessa looked at her watch. 5:50 AM, and she needed to be at the front gates to open the doors by 6.

Vanessa began to panic as she got up (her newly acquired sloshy belly impeding her progress greatly) and began running towards the front (or, well, as close to running as a morbidly obese woman with a belly the size of a family hanging off of her abdomen could get).

This new disturbance caused a great bit of pain in her stomach, which her body decided to resolve immediately.

*PPPPPLLLLLLLFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRTHTHTHTHTHTHTHTLLLLLLLTTTTTT*

*PPPPPLLLLLLLFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRTHTHTHTHTHTHTHTLLLLLLLTTTTTT*

*PPPPPLLLLLLLFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRTHTHTHTHTHTHTHTLLLLLLLTTTTTT*

Vanessa let out enormous wet fart after enormous wet fart on her way towards the front. Every step she took, every movement that gostled her belly even slightly resulted in a green miasma to explode from her rear, a fog so dense that it looked like she was the lead up to a sports entrance. The stench was horrendous too, with it being acrid enough to peel paint off the walls.

By the time she got to the front door, the entire Pizzaplex was filled with her stench and an opaque green mist. As soon as the doors were opened, they burst open like a flood gate, with the pure density of the gas inside needing to escape. The pure stench of the nasal assault escaping the establishment knocked out every single waiting customer.

"Ah well, at least I don't have to deal with them. Maybe I can have another bite to eat while I wait for them to wake up?"

[candy-floss-crazy]

We recently added Gourmet burgers to our line up of catering options. On top of the usual cheeseburger, and bacon etc, we added some options a little more quirky. Things such as nacho's, sushi and such like. However the burgers listed here are way beyond what we consider quirky and definitely venture inot the weird burgers catagory.. 1 The Cronut Burger A fusion of sweet and savoury this one. A beef patty with cheese, between the cheeks of a sugary doughnut. A Canadian invention, between a pastry shop Le Dolci, and Epic Burger and Waffles for the Canadian National Exhibition. This one looks like it could be tasty, however it didn't have a happy ending. One of the ingredients sourced for the burger, maple jam, was contaminated with staphylococcus aureus causing 150 people at the show to fall ill. Still looks tasty, but we'd go light on the jam. 2 The Quadruple Bypass Burger A 9982 calorie bohemoth, even by American standards. Two pound of beef, twenty rashers of bacon, eight cheese slices, a whole tomato and half an onion, in a bum coated with lard. It is served at the heart attack grill founded in 2005 in Tempe Arizona. Everything they do is along the same theme. With flatliner fries, double and triple bypass burgers for those who can't face this one, and bigger burgers up to octuple bypass. They even have cigarettes and high fat shakes on the menu. The restaurant has a hospital theme, with doctors taking the order and nurses waiting the tables. Sexily dressed nurses at that. It's as if someone set out to be as controversial as possible. 3 Yorkshire Pudding Burger A fusion of traditional Sunday roast with the fast food convenience of a burger. This one is a giant Yorkshire pud with a burger inside. For those who don't know the Yorkshire pudding isn't actually a pudding. It is served most often as a constituent of a typical Sunday dinner. However it also works well as a starter with onion gravy. The supersized version here is 5000 calories. 4 Fried Frog Black Burger No matter how crazy you can think of making something. The Japanese are guaranteed to out crazy you. They make some really weird burgers. This time it is the Orbi Yokohama museum, who offer up this culinary masterpiece. A full fried frog burger. They aren't content with just the out there filling. They also add in a bun made from bamboo charcoal that is jet black. 5 Russia Rat Burger Take a look at the burger above, quite innocuous isn't it? Something you would probably enjoy at many a typical burger joint. Only it isn't. It's a rat burger. Well, not your usual Rattus rattus that you don't want to see anywhere near a restaurant. But a Coypu, or 'River Rat'. The animal breeds at a super fast rate, making it ideal as a food crop. A case of if you can't beat them eat them. A specialty of a Russian chef at a high end eterie in Moscow. 6 Wimpy's Braille Burger In the days when I was a kid, before the all conquering McDonalds swept the nation. Wimpy was THE burger joint. We spent may a happy time in Wimpy's around the country. Truth be told, I think their quarterpounders were far better than the McD equivalent. This burger was part of an experiential marketing campaign to promote it's new braille menu in South Africa. Reaching over 800,000 blind people across the nation with their braille embossed burgers. 7 Whole Damn Farm Burger If you are the sort of person who can't make their mind up over beef or chicken. Then this one is for you. Made from beed, chicken, ham, pork and bacon. About the calorie loading of four big Macs, this is perfect for the indecisive. From Manchester's Splendid Kitchen, a sadly now defunct American style eatery. 8 Hellfire Burger This is one hot burger. By hot, we don't mean as in fashion, or as in very attractive. We mean hot! Measuring over 1 million on the Scoville heat scale. For comparison, some law enforcement pepper sprays can be quite effective at half that. Topped by six different chillies, and smothered in hot sauce, you not only have to be over 18, but also need to sign a medical waiver before they will serve it to you. The whole thing is served to you on fire. A creation of the Xtreme Smokehouse and Grill in Washington Iowa. 9 Southern Comfort Stuffed Burger Slathered with booze spiked sauce. The Southern Comfort is stuffed with mac and cheese wrapped in bacon, then topped with Southern Heat potato chips. Its the Southern Comfort and Peach infused BBq sauce that gives it the special tang. A product of the Nook in Atalanta. 10 Waffle Burger Available from lots of places, this is another fusion of sweet and savoury. Fluffy Belgian waffle goodness, surrounding a beef patty, along with egg and bacon. The perfect breakfast to start the day. 11 Wrapped Pizza Burger A bacon cheeseburger wrapped in a pepperoni pizza. 1360 calories of succulent burger heaven. This frankenburger was a product of Boston's Restaurant and Sports Bar. Available at more than 40 US restaurants and it's Canadian franchise. Although not the healthiest of burgers it still comes nowhere near the big guys records like the Heart Attack Grill, they are some seriously weird burgers. 12 Arby's Meat Mountain Originally created as a poster to advertise the fact that the restaurant sold more than beef. It was soon being requested by it's customers and ended up being a firm favourite on the menu. Consisting of two chicken burgers, three strips of bacon, a slice of swiss and cheddar cheeses, roast turkey, ham, corned beef, roast beef, brisket and Angus steak. 13 Super Duper Bacon Burger What can be said about this monstrosity. It's bacon, served with bacon, topped by bacon, with a bacon garnish. I suppose if you like bacon then this is heaven, if you don't then you've ordered the wrong meal. Michigan's Tony's I-75 Restaurant is definitely a destination for pork lovers. 14 Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger If you are going to mix burgers with a dessert you might as well make it with one of your favourites. Two Krispy Kreme doughnuts, three beef patties and three slices of cheese. Nuff said. 15 The Grilled Cheese Burger Take a grilled cheese sandwich. well, take two of them in fact. Place your burger between them and you have a whole new class of frankenburger. Coming from an American chain (where else), Friendly's on the East coast. 16 Deep Fried Double Twinky Burger Whilst you can rely on the Japanese to come up with the craziest concoctions. You can rely on the Americans to come up with stuff designed to clog your arteries. Take a pork belly patty, with cheese and bacon and sandwich it between two deep fried twinkies and you have another masterpiece from Philadelphia's PYT. Which is almost as weird as 17 Spaghetti Burger This, their spaghetti burger. Slathered in marinara sauce, with a mozzarella stuffed meatball patty, red sauce, parmesan flakes and spaghetti in a garlic butter bun. This looks like a weird burger 18 Beer Batter Burger From Denny's Beer Barrel Pub in Pennsylvania. A battered burger with all the trimmings. Oh and the batter is made with beer for extra taste. Also available from them as a 25lb challenge burger for two. 19 Alphabet Burger This sandwich contains 26 toppings, each one starting with a different letter of the alphabet. - Avocado - Bacon - Cheese - Doritos - Egg - Fish sticks - Garlic bread - Ham - Italian sausage patty - Jalapeño peppers - Krispy Kreme doughnut - Lettuce - Macaroni and cheese - Noodles - Onion rings - Pepperoni - Queso blanco dip - Ramen noodles - Spinach - Turkey burger - Usingers bratwurst - Veal Parmesan - Waffle - Xylocarp (coconut) - Yams - Zucchini I don't know what to say. I am stunned, I know how the prophets felt when they saw the burning bush, or the first pot noodle was invented. The W should stand for weird burgers. 20 Hot Fudge Sundae Burger I don't know if it is a symptom of the modern world, this rush to get your meal out of the way as soon as possible. But this is another stomach churning attempt to fuse mains with dessert. Take a perfectly good beef burger and add vanilla ice cream and hot fudge sauce. Take a bow McGuires Irish Pub of Pensacola. 21 White Trash Burger Named after the outlets signature dips called white trash. This includes cheese, green chillies, jalapenos, diced tomatoes, diced onions and tortilla chips, with a stack of beer battered onion rings. If you want one then you need to head over to the Bukowski Tavern in boston. 22 Bacon Wrapped Macaroni and Cheese Bun Burger I'm not sure if this is a burger, or an abstract artwork. Mac and cheese wrapped in strips of bacon and used as the bun for a cheeseburger. Not as outlandish or vomit inducing as some on the this list, I could probably eat this. 23 Slaters Merica Burger Oh Kay, a third of a pound of ground bacon made into a patty, bacon american cheese, egg, thick cut bacon and bacon island dressing on a bacon pretzel bun. Basically you need to like bacon to eat this one. It was reportedly too salty to finish which is saying something when many a burger on this list has a couple of grams or more of salt without any reports of them being salty. 24 The Mario Burger A little bit of green dye, some circles of cheese and you have a gamers treat. 25 The Fat Sandwich Burger This one looks like a complete meal in a bun. I am surprised that they haven't stuck a doughnut or a dollop of ice cream in to round it off. From the Fat Sandwich Company in Illinois Candy Floss Crazy Gourmet Burgers 1 Person 2 Burgers 2 Not really part of the list, our burgers are relatively sane. If you want something on the list I am sure our catering team can put it together for you, but if what you want is a range of delicious non heart attack inducing gourmet burgers for your wedding, party or event. Then check out our burger service. Oh and the picture above is actually two burgers, he was a greedy sod. Have them served from one of our quirky food trucks for an extra twist. Read the full article

[barbarianspace]

DISCOVER THE DINNER SPECIALS AT BARBARIAN SPACE: “WHERE GALACTIC FLAVOUR MEETS BARBARIAN BOLDNESS”.

At Barbarian Space, we believe dinner should be an experience, a time to unwind and savor mouth-watering flavors. Our dinner specials are carefully crafted to offer various options that cater to all tastes, from savory meat dishes to vibrant vegetarian selections. Whether you are in the mood for something light, hearty, or indulgent, our dinner menu promises a delightful journey for your senses. Join us as we explore the mouth-watering dishes that make our dinner menu a favorite among food lovers.

A warm welcome to dinner at Barbarian Space together. Our restaurant brings the perfect blend of comfort and creativity to your dinner table. Each dish is designed to be both satisfying and flavorful, using the finest ingredients that are fresh, local, and seasonal. Whether gathering with friends, enjoying a family meal, or treating yourself to a special evening, our dinner specials offer something for everyone.

Start your evening with food starters that tempt the taste buds.

Every great dinner begins with a starter that awakens the palate. Barbarian Space serves a variety of appetizers that are the ideal way to start your meal. Our appetizers range from crispy and savory to light and refreshing. The rest of the dinner was influenced by them.

Stuffed mushrooms

Our stuffed mushrooms are a crowd favorite perfectly roasted mushrooms filled with a delicious mix of cheese, garlic, and fresh herbs. They are served hot and bursting with flavor, providing a savory start to your evening.

2. Caesar salad

For those who prefer something crisp and refreshing, our Caesar salad is a must-try. Crunchy croutons, creamy Caesar dressing, and a sprinkling of parmesan cheese are combined with fresh lettuce. It’s simple, fresh, and full of flavor.

3. Chicken Soup

Our chicken soup is a comforting, soul-warming dish perfect for any occasion. It is made with tender chicken, fresh vegetables, and aromatic herbs. The chicken is slow-cooked to perfection, ensuring it is juicy and full of flavor, while the vegetables add a touch of freshness and crunch. Light yet satisfying, this dish is the ultimate comfort food, perfect for a cozy dinner or to warm you up on a chilly evening.

Main course — A variety of dishes to satisfy every craving.

When it comes to our main course, Barbarian Space prides itself in offering a range of dishes that cater to diverse tastes. Whether you are in the mood for a juicy steak, or a fresh seafood dish, our dinner menu has something to satisfy every craving.

1. Pan seared salmon

For a lighter but equally flavourful option, our pan-seared salmon is a top choice. This tender fish is perfectly seared salmon and is a top choice. This tender fish is perfectly seared and served with a lemon-butter sauce, alongside a fresh herb salad and a side of quinoa. It strikes the ideal mix of being delicious and healthful.

2. Squid fry

At Barbarian Space, our Squid fry is a signature dish that perfectly blends bold flavors with an irresistible crunch. Freshly caught squid is marinated in a secret blend of spices. In order to achieve a delicate combination of crunch and tenderness, the squid is next delicately coated in a crispy batter and fried till golden.. Served with a tangy dipping sauce and a side of fresh greens, this dish is a must-try for seafood lovers seeking an adventurous culinary experience.

3. Paneer vegetable salad

Our paneer vegetable salad is a wholesome and vibrant medley of fresh flavors. This salad features soft, grilled paneer cubes tossed with a colorful assortment of crunchy vegetables like bell peppers, cucumber, cherry tomatoes, and lettuce. Drizzled with zesty lemon and herb dressing, it offers a refreshing balance of tangy and savory notes. Sprinkled with toasted seeds for added texture and a touch of spices to enhance the flavors. This dish is a delightful choice for health-conscious foodies who crave both nutrition and taste.

4. Butter Chicken

Our Butter chicken is a rich and indulgent delight that captures the essence of classic Indian cuisine. Tender pieces of marinated chicken are slow-cooked in a creamy, velvet tomato-based gravy, infused with aromatic spices and a hint of smoky tandoor flavor. Finished with a generous drizzle of fresh cream and a touch of butter, this dish pairs perfectly with our soft naan bread or fragrant basmati rice. Whether you are a spice enthusiast or a comfort food lover, our butter chicken promises an unforgettable culinary experience.

5. Chicken Tikka Masala

At Barbarian Space, our chicken tikka masala is a bold and flavourful masterpiece that combines traditional spices with a modern twist. Succulent pieces of chicken are marinated in a blend of yogurt and spices, grilled to perfection, and then simmered in a luscious tomato-based curry. Enhanced with cream, fresh herbs, and a hint of smoky tandoor flavor, this dish strikes the perfect balance between heat and richness. Served with your choice of buttery naan or fragrant basmati rice, our chicken tikka masala is a feast for the senses and a favorite among our guests.

6. Chicken Marsala

Another standout on our menu is the Chicken Marsala, where tender chicken breasts are simmered in a rich, flavourful mushroom and marsala wine sauce. The dish is complemented with a side of mashed potatoes and steamed vegetables, making it a fulfilling and delicious option.

7. Barbarian Burger

If you are in the mood for something comforting and indulgent, our Barbarian Burger is the ultimate choice. Made with premium chicken patty, melted cheese, fresh lettuce, tomato, and pickles, all sandwiches in a soft, toasted bun, it’s the perfect balance of juicy and flavorful. Pair it with crispy fries for the complete experience.

8. Spice Fusion Pasta

Our Spice Fusion Pasta brings an Indian twist to this global favorite. Pasta is toasted in a rich, flavourful sauce infused with traditional Indian spices like cumin, coriander, and garam masala, creating a perfect harmony of East meets West. Fresh vegetables, tangy tomatoes, and a hint of cream come together to enhance the dish, while a garnish of fresh cilantro and a dash of chili add a final burst of flavor. This pasta is a must-try for those looking to explore a bold, spicy, and uniquely Indian culinary experience.

Side Dishes — The perfect accompaniment to your meal

At Barbarian Space, we know that the sides are just as important as the main course. That’s why we offer a selection of sides that complement our dishes perfectly.

Crispy French Fries

Golden and crispy on the outside, soft and fluffy on the inside, our french fries are the ultimate comfort food. They are the perfect side for burgers, sandwiches, or any dish that needs a little crunch.

2. Mashed potatoes

Creamy mashed potatoes, made from fresh potatoes and seasoned to perfection, are a classic side that pairs wonderfully with steaks, chicken, and pork.

3. Seasonal Roasted vegetables

Our seasonal roasted vegetables bring the flavors of the harvest to your table. Each bite is filled with the earthy taste of roasted carrots, zucchini, bell peppers, and other seasonal vegetables, all seasoned with fresh herbs and olive oil.

4. Garlic Bread

No dinner is complete without a slice of warm, buttery garlic bread. Perfect for dipping into sauce or simply enjoying on its own, garlic bread is a crowd-pleaser.

Desserts — A sweet ending to your meal.

No dinner is completed without a sweet treat, and at Barbarian Space, we offer a selection of desserts that are the perfect way to end your meal on a high note.

Chocolate Lava Cake

Our Chocolate Lava Cake is the ultimate indulgence. With its rich, gooey center and soft exterior, it’s a chocolate lover’s dream. Served with a scoop of vanilla ice cream, it’s the perfect dessert for those who love a little sweetness at the end of their meal.

2. Homemade Cheesecake

For those who prefer a lighter dessert, our homemade cheesecake is the perfect choice. Creamy, smooth, and topped with fresh berries, it’s a refreshing and satisfying way to end your meal.

3. Chocolate Truffle

Our Chocolate Truffle is the ultimate indulgence for dessert lovers. Made with the finest quality chocolate, this decadent treat features a rich, velvety ganache center that melts in your mouth.

Why our dishes stand out

1. High-quality ingredients

We use only the freshest, locally sourced ingredients to ensure every dish meets our high standards.

2. Creative presentation

At Barbarian Space, your meal is a feast for the eyes as well as the plate. Our chefs take inspiration from our space-barbarian theme, crafting dishes that look as exciting as they taste.

3. Something for everyone

Whether you are a meat lover, vegetarian, or have dietary restrictions, our menu has options for everyone. Our chefs are also happy to customize dishes to suit your preferences.

Your Dinner Awaits at Barbarian Space

At Barbarian Space, we take great pride in offering a dinner menu that combines the best of comfort food with culinary creativity. Whether you are here to enjoy a cozy meal with friends, celebrate a special occasion, or simply indulge in a delicious dinner, we promise to deliver great food, great service, and great memories.

So why wait? Come and explore the flavors of Barbarian Space tonight. Our dinner specials are waiting for you.!

[brookpub]

Christmas in Cambridge | Christmas Specials in Cambridge

Every year around Christmas, Cambridge is filled with magic. When December comes around, the city comes to life with Christmas markets, lights, and many other events that get people in the Christmas spirit. Cambridge has much to offer at Christmas, from charming streets lit with twinkling lights to cosy pubs serving holiday specials. Both locals and visitors will remember their time there. One of the best things about Christmas in Cambridge is the Brook Pub, which turns into a hub of holiday cheer and puts on fun Christmas shows that make the season even more magical.

 Christmas at Cambridge: A Charming Time

People enjoy the holiday traditions and the season's spirit at Christmas in Cambridge. The city's historic buildings and holiday decorations create a unique atmosphere that makes you feel like you're in a Christmas storybook. Beautiful Christmas lights are strung across King's Parade, Market Square, and other well-known parts of the city as people walk along the cobblestone streets.

You must go to the Cambridge Christmas Market in Market Square during the holiday. Local artists sell their handmade goods, holiday decorations, and one-of-a-kind gifts here. Thus, making it a great place to find that perfect Christmas present. As people look around the stalls, the smell of mulled wine, roasted chestnuts, and hot chocolate fills the air, making it warm and welcoming.

Cambridge also has an extraordinary tradition of Christmas carol services. The "Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols" is one of the most famous Christmas services in the world. It takes place in the famous King's College Chapel. If you're lucky enough to get a seat at this renowned service, you'll feel the magic when you hear the angelic voices of the King's College Choir filling the old chapel.

Besides the carol services, the city has many other Christmas concerts and shows. Classic Christmas plays, musicals, and pantomimes are some holiday shows at the Cambridge Corn Exchange and the Cambridge Arts Theatre. Viewers of all ages can enjoy these programs.

Exploring Christmas Specials in Cambridge-

There are plenty of holiday events in Cambridge to keep you busy. But what makes Christmas magical is the wide range of Christmas specials in Cambridge available at restaurants and pubs. One of these hidden gems is the Brook Pub, a warm and cosy place known for its holiday spirit and seasonal food. People in the area love going to The Brook Pub during the holidays because it has excellent Christmas specials that make your celebrations more magical.

The Brook Pub on Mill Road is famous for its unique traditional British pub food mix with new, creative twists. Around Christmas, the pub becomes a holiday haven with Christmas lights, decorations, and warmth. The welcoming atmosphere makes it ideal for a Christmas get-together with family and friends.

Events for Christmas: The Brook Pub :-

There are a lot of Christmas specials at the Brook Pub, so there is something for everyone. Feel free to take a look at some of the holiday items they hold:

Festive Christmas Menu-

The Brook Pub's Christmas menu is full of fun holiday foods. For every taste, there's something here, from classic roasts to new holiday dishes.

Starters:

Spiced Szechuan Shrimp Lettuce Cups, Kachori Chaat, Cauliflower Chilli Fry, Mini Masala Dosa, Lentil Crackers and popodum Bowl, and Spiced Cider or Watermelon Sherbet are some holiday favourites that you can start your meal with. These starters are meant to get you hungry for the hearty and rich courses that are coming next. 

Mains:

You can't go wrong with the Lamb Shank Masala Roast, Tandoori Turkey, Seared Spiced Salmon Fillet, King Prawn Biryani, or Gummadikai Pulusu at the Brook Pub for Christmas. These hearty dishes are like a warm holiday meal and are great for getting together with family and friends.

Desserts:

No Christmas meal is complete without rich desserts, and the Brook Pub has a great selection of holiday sweets. You can choose from Badami Panna Cotta, Gajar Halwa with Vanilla Ice Cream, Berry-Compote Rice Kheer, or Gulab Jamun Tiramisu. If you want to try something different, the Brook also serves sticky toffee pudding with salted caramel sauce, a rich take on a British classic.

Festive Drinks:

The Brook Pub's drink menu goes to a whole new level at Christmas when they serve a variety of holiday cocktails and Christmas ales. The holiday drinks at the pub are sure to get you in the mood. Seasonal flavours like cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves are used to make the Christmas cocktails, which are a delicious holiday take on classic drinks.

For beer lovers, the Brook has a variety of Christmas ales from nearby breweries and unique winter beers that go well with the pub's hearty food. These holiday beers are rich, malty, and often spiced, making them perfect for a holiday meal.

Christmas Party Packages:

Getting ready for a Christmas party? The Brook Pub has flexible Christmas party packages that make it a great place to hold your holiday get-together. The pub's private dining areas and flexible menu options make it easy to make your event exactly how you want it to be. It is whether you're planning an office Christmas party or a holiday get-together with family. The Brook can fit groups of all sizes because it serves both full sit-down meals and tapas-style buffets.

A Festive Setting to Remember:

The Brook Pub is unique because it always makes an effort to create a fun atmosphere. As the holiday's approach, the pub is decorated with Christmas trees, fairy lights, and cozy fireplaces that make for a most enjoyable meal. The cheerful staff dressed in Christmas clothes adds to the holiday spirit. We make sure that all guests feel welcome and immersed in the spirit of the season.

Christmas at The Brook Pub: A Place You Have to See:

The Brook Pub is a must-see during the holiday season, whether you're from Cambridge and looking for a cozy place to celebrate or visiting and want to experience what Christmas is like there. The pub really gets into the Christmas spirit with its tasty Christmas specials, festive drinks, and friendly, warm atmosphere. We make sure that your Christmas in Cambridge is one to remember whether you come for a full Christmas meal, a casual tapas night, a Karaoke night in Cambridge or just a drink with friends.

As Christmas draws near, make your reservation early at the Brook Pub to ensure you can see the best Christmas shows in Cambridge.

[hamdanemarat32]

Try Sea Food Specials from Best Japanese Restaurants in Dubai!

There are undoubtedly many restaurants serving a variety of cuisines in Dubai, a city renowned for its opulent lifestyle and varied dining options. Of them, Toshi, a Pan-Asian eatery found in the busy Barsha Heights neighborhood, is notable for its excellent fish selection. This blog offers a sneak peek at Toshi's seafood specials, the inspiration behind the dishes, and general dining information that makes it the best Japanese restaurant in Dubai for seafood lovers. 

A Taste of Asia: The Idea Behind Toshi 

Toshi's culinary viewpoint combines traditional designs with contemporary presentations to highlight the diverse flavors of Asia. Additionally, the restaurant draws inspiration from many Asian cuisines, such as Chinese, Thai, Malaysian, and Japanese, and skillfully combines them to create a unique culinary experience. Here, seafood—a staple in many Asian cultures—takes center stage, and Toshi's chefs have mastered the art of creating it with elegance.

Ambience: Creating the Conditions for a Memorable Event

It's important to observe the ambiance at Toshi before indulging in the delicious seafood selection. The restaurant boasts a chic yet appealing design that combines a sophisticated set with a warm, inviting atmosphere. Whether you're celebrating a special occasion or just enjoying a night out, the elegant Asian-inspired furniture, comfortable seating, and soft lighting create the perfect atmosphere for a casual dining occasion.

Toshi's Seafood Specialties: A Delightful Treat

Toshi offers a seasonal menu with a variety of seafood dishes that are all made with the greatest ingredients and a dash of creativity. A closer look at some of the most notable seafood specialties that you simply must have is provided here.

1. A plate of sushi and sashimi

Sushi and sashimi are a must-have while dining at the top Japanese restaurant. Toshi's platter features a stunning assortment of fresh fish, such as yellowtail, salmon, and tuna, all of which were specifically obtained from the most reputable vendors. Every composition is expertly scored, demonstrating the chefs' skill. The light fish is pleasantly contrasted with the fully seasoned sushi rice. Adding a taste for soy sauce, wasabi, and pickled ginger to this dish elevates the learning experience.

2. Miso-grilled black cod

Toshi's commitment to quality is demonstrated by its signature dish, Grilled Miso Black Cod. For a full day, the Miso Black Cod is marinated in a sweet and tangy miso glaze, which allows the flavors to really seep in. The fish has a creamy flavor that melts in your mouth and a flowing consistency as it is probed to embodiment. With its simplicity and dignity, this meal, which comes with a side of sautéed seasonal veggies, perfectly captures the essence of the greatest Japanese restaurant in Dubai.

3. Black pepper sauce and wok-fried prawns

The Wok-Fried Prawns with Black Pepper Sauce are a must-try for anyone who needs a little warmth. While retaining their succulence, the prawns are swiftly cooked over high heat and infused with the robust flavors of soy sauce, black pepper, and garlic. The meal, which is stuffed with jasmine rice and garnished with fresh cilantro, is a delicious option for lovers of both seafood and spices.

4. Platter of Sizzling Seafood

These factors make the Sizzling Seafood Platter a feast. This dish is prepared on a hot plate and includes a variety of fish, prawns, and calamari. allowing customers to join in on the fun and entertainment at the table. Garlic, chilli, and lime are added sparingly to the fish, creating a pleasing balance of flavors. It's a great alternative for groups because it's great for sharing.

5. Ramen with seafood

Toshi's Seafood Ramen introduces a classic dish and markets it with its own unique twist. This ramen is made with a thick, savory broth that has been steam-cooked for hours to extract all of the flavor. This dish is loaded with fully cooked noodles, topped with aromatic veggies, and stuffed with fresh prawns, scallops, and squid. Every spoonful is enjoyable due to the range of tastes and consistencies.

In conclusion, a unique seafood experience

In conclusion, Toshi stands out as a premium location for seafood lovers in a city full with culinary options. with its delectable food, welcoming ambiance, and first-rate service. A true gem in Dubai's bustling dining scene is this Pan-Asian eatery. Regardless of whether you're entering the Black Cod with Grilled Miso. Enjoy the Sizzling Seafood Platter with friends or indulging in the flavors of the Seafood Ramen. At Toshi, every dish narrates a tale of preparation and practice.

Thus, take a moment to visit the top Japanese restaurant in Dubai and consider their seafood specialties if you ever find yourself there. Your palate will appreciate this wonderful gastronomic journey through Asian flavors. Toshi is a place worth visiting, whether you're a native or just a tourist. As a result, every taste captivates you with the essence of Asian food.