#HELP! ME! I AM BEING TORMENTED
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stitchthesewords · 2 years ago
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You know, given what I was sent in the discord last night, now might be a great time to catch up on Midnight by @atherix if you havent already
help me im suffering
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leafeyrune · 8 days ago
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⚠️CW Blood, Main Character Death, Flashing and Shaking
uh oh Chosen!
(Idea courtesy of @starrypawu I am never forgiving you for this btw)
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skyrigel · 3 months ago
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I don't feel loved
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niko-jpeg · 4 months ago
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Incoherent sputtering noises. Silver the hedgehog wasaaaghdhsjsjksnsjshsbs
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iniziare · 5 months ago
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Tag drop: Solas
#solas. [ what would you have had me say? that i was the great adversary in your people's mythology? ]#solas: ic. [ the dread wolf inspired hope in my friends and fear in my enemies. not unlike “inquisitor” i suppose. ]#solas: inquiries. [ let me help you. / you cannot. there is no glory here. only a price that i alone will pay. ]#solas: countenance. [ i was solas first. “fen'harel” came later. an insult i took as as a badge of honor. ]#solas: introspection. [ war breeds fear. fear breeds a desire for simplicity. good and evil. right or wrong. chains of command. ]#solas: meta. [ just remember; an enemy can attack but only an ally can betray you. betrayal is always worse. ]#solas: little notes. [ but nature is and always has been; grey. a spirit is a purpose. a demon is that purpose perverted. ]#solas: wishes. [ i walk the din'anshiral. there is only death on this journey. i would not have you see what i become. ]#solas: etc. [ i have people; seeker. the greatest triumphs and tragedies this world has known can all be traced to people. ]#solas: mythal. [ they killed her. a crime for which an eternity of torment is the only fitting punishment. ]#solas: elvhenan. [ imagine beings who lived forever for whom magic was as natural as breathing. that is what was lost. ]#solas: fade. [ everything is a memory; they are easily muddied. they contain truths but reason and sense are required to extract it. ]#solas: skyhold. [ there is a place that waits for a force to hold it. there is a place where the inquisition can build… grow. ]#solas: inquisition. [ you created a powerful organization. and now it suffers the inevitable fate of such; betrayal and corruption. ]#solas: inquisitor. [ you would risk everything you have in the hope that the future is better? what if it isn't? ]#solas: vhenan. [ what is the old dalish curse? “may the dread wolf take you”? ]#solas: dorian. [ is that a problem for you? / no. no. you're a special and unique snowflake. live the dream. ]#solas: varric. [ you know what i like about you? your boundless optimism. / it's comforting that what qualities i lack; you invent. ]#solas: cassandra. [ i am impressed by your honesty and faith. it is a difficult path; but if anyone can walk it honourably. you can. ]#solas: cole. [ never forget your purpose; cole. it is a noble one. even if this world does not understand. ]#solas: vivienne. [ i leave you with the greatest curse of my people. dirthara ma. / what rustic curse is that? / 'may you learn.' ]#solas: blackwall. [ you have seen a great deal of battle. / we all have. / not like you. you live and breathe war. it's home to you. ]#solas: sera. [ i suppose now you’ll switch to how i’m the same but different? / you are the furthest from what you were meant to be. ]#solas: bull. [ what you think is what you say and do. / even peasants may find freedom in the safety of thought; you take even that. ]
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kavehater · 4 months ago
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Do I have to start saying not that anyone would care in that super duper passive aggressive way to guilt people into caring or what
#dora daily#I’m so tired#the one thing I’ve consistently wanted since I was a kid was to be cared about and seen 😜#yet I can’t even seem to get that ☠️ I honest to god am so tired like every day is another futile attempt to try to engineer what I say#specifically for the purpose of me hoping someone ANYONE would care#how I used to be sick when I was younger because I saw that the kids who would get sick or would get sad would get sm care and love but#I was stupid because I didn’t account for the fact that when I was sick I had to just suck it up or when I was sad I need to stop being such#a crybaby and get over it#what if I say I’ve had enough of just being shamelessly used by others for me to comfort them through their problems#but I always have everything thrown back at my face because somehow when it’s my turn my problems are uncomfortable or awkward#I don’t have energy for a single thing yet I force myself to talk to at least one person and trying to fix my relationship with just#literally talking it shouldn’t be that hard but I feel so worthless that even speech is impossible and makes me feel like I will literally#die. it’s been working kinda but now I just can’t help but feel so sick to my stomach about all this my head hurts really bad and I’m trying#not to cry and trying my hardest to make peace with the fact that in truth nobody will ever like me enough to care at all ever#not my mum not my dad or my siblings and certainly not my friends either#I’m so tired of always begging and pleading for someone to just notice I’m here too#or maybe it’s specific people#it’s so cruel to say all those overly nice things to me and not act on them#why else was I so psychotic about that girl ? obviously because she would shower me with the nicest things I’ve ever heard#but she says that to everyone she’s not consistent with me and we aren’t really friends#ik it wasn’t her intention but it doesn’t change the fact I have wanted to and I’m not even over exaggerating but actually off myself#because this is just proof I’m around to serve people’s dirty work and clean messes when I can’t even stand on my two feet anyways#isn’t it so stupid I’m just talking to myself here and most likely nobody will ever see it meaning this was just useless yet again#and the fact i can’t be free ever nor can i do anything about this to permanently end things because i am a coward and because the worst#part is that even after death I shall be tormented anyways#and let’s say I somehow survive an attempt I will literally be scarred for life and then I’d rlly want to be dead#it’s the way not even death can be a solace for this because there would only be more torture#I can’t leave this religion because leaving won’t change the truth but I’m so tired and worn thin of every single responsibility in my life#even tho I don’t have much the few I do have feel excruciating#life is too much and death is worse so why couldn’t my mum who’s strong willed said no to my dads family and not gotten married period 🧍‍♀️
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vamptastic · 5 months ago
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It can just be sort of exhausting growing up in a time where everybody's worst projections and stereotypes and misconceptions about transness are constantly shoved in your face by assholes if you're remotely involved in trans communities online. Or hell, they're just in the news headlines themselves. Or being espoused by peers that wouldn't have had transgenderism so much as cross their mind twenty years ago. I'm tired of the evil voice in my head having an endless supply of ammunition.
#that rogd shit makes me want to kill someone#my mom even fell for it and was interrogating me abt my friends in middle school#in reality i knew internally years before telling classmates was outed against my will by a friend and everybody who turned out queer#came out after me or while i was planning how to come out myself whilst convinced i would then promptly be kicked out of my house#and also a lot of that theory presupposes that#a. I can't tell the difference between gender dysphoria and normal insecurity and general mental illness#b. Addressing those other issues would eliminate the gender dysphoria#and c. That I received any kind of social reward for coming out (cough cough being outed) as an 11 year old (I did not)#in short it's the neuroses of a bunch of idiot mothers who would've done the same shit about any other myth shoved in their face#rainbow party and satanic panic level of critical thinking.#but well. it plays well into the fears of parents and the notions people have about young GNC women#and in terms of a demand it essentially boils down to keep existing the way that makes you miserable forever#until you convince yourself it's not so bad. Which I've spent 7 years on. And am very sick of.#well. anyway. there's just a lot of awful ideas in my head from some of the most bigoted people alive tormenting me.#sometimes looking at that sort of drivel helps in that i realise these people are idiots#they usually are just very mean sadistic people or deeply scared and paranoid. or both. or just dumb.#and finding the logical holes helps. but some of it just nastiness and the nastiness sticks.#and it doesn't help when i know most cis people around me buy into these ideas at least a little
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ranvwoop · 10 months ago
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i am going to be so vulnerable in public for just a second. literally just for lack of therapy and for the love of psuedoanonymity except. it isn't really
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modernmanblues · 1 year ago
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kevin kevin KEVIN
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sukunas-wife · 11 months ago
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Being Sukuna’s Pregnant Wife and being worshipped as a diety because you were able to conceive the four armed hulking cursed child, you must have the blessing of fertility
Having a shrine erected in your name because barren women believed you’d bless them with fertility despite your legacy starting with the child of the curse that torments them all
Telling your hand maids “Don’t bring me my clothes, bring me one of the kings robes.” The hand maids flinching and wanting to protest out of fear of taking the King of Curses robes
The poor naive young hand maid that had grown a crush on the king excitedly rushing if it meant she could enter the private bed chambers,
Scoffing with a malicious smile to your loyal maids when they shook their heads with Sympathy, they learned long before at such a request it would be foolish to go alone, at least 2 or 3 of them would need to go in your name, preferably the ones your husband recognized to be by your side the longest. But you didn’t like this new girl, she was too enthusiastic to work at the palace only to have a complete change in character when she learned she was assigned to work for you
“It’ll serve that poor girl right” you looked away from the door when your loyal hand maids brought out a wooden box with one of Sukuna’s folded Kimono’s they helped you dress your swollen belly accentuated by the belt the kimono tailored to fit your husband left you with extra space and length, it was far more comfortable then the Kimono’s and robes you were, the lingering smell of your husband with comforting as your rubbed your belly hands barely peeking from the massive sleeves
“Let’s go see my husband.” Was all you said as you started your walk, the maids followed close as you made it to the bed chambers, the door was open, you looked in, Sukuna sneering down at the girl laying in a pool of blood, Uraume was making quick work of the mess
Sukuna’s snapped to you and his arm’s opening in an unusual display of affection, you walked around the mess to reach him, he pulled you into his left side, one hand on your waist the other making you face him, bring his right hand up he rested his hand on your stomach “Some of your maids need a lesson on how to speak to their king,” he looked away from your face to your stomach as he started to move his hands in circles “So swollen with my child, it’s no wonder you send your maids to steal my robes.”
You smack his shoulder with a playful smile and he chuckled “Don’t say it like that you make me feel bigger than i am.”
“Now,” he looked up at your face again, “why are you here.”
You tilted your head to the side, “I started contractions this morning, I’ve been in pain all day and I’m barely standing, my new maid wouldn’t stop speaking so highly of my husband accomplishing having a child when I was at my worst pain level getting ready to push out YOUR child that I HAD to carry. Anyhow I came to get you because he is ready to come.”
Sukuna stared down at you confused “How do you know it’s a boy?”
“I’m his mother,” he watched as you placed your hand over his stilling his rubbing of your stomach, “I knew he was a boy from the day your seed took.”
Sukuna smirked “Is that so? Then let’s see this boy.”
🖤❤️❤️❤️🖤❤️❤️❤️🖤❤️❤️❤️🖤❤️❤️❤️🖤
After an hour of fighting the doctor tending to your birth you gave birth to your lively son, born screaming without needing stimulation to cry form the doctor. Your husband couldn’t help but laugh when he saw his child in his full glory, he was a boy indeed.
The help immediately gave you your son and you cooed at him when he took to your breast, your husband taking blankets from the maids and covered your son also covering you in the process as you struggled a bit to pass what came next. Your son a spitting image of his father, your breathy laugh caught Sukuna’s attention as he came back to your bed side stroking your hair and rubbing your stomach the way the help had been doing.
“What amuses you?” He watched his son slowly close his eyes as you coddled him closer.
“I’m the one who had to carry him for so long, and the ingrate took nothing from me.” You smiled and shook your head before looking up at Sukuna.
Soon the doctor left after clearing you of any possible issues and checking your son. “His name?” You looked at Sukuna and he sighed “Yuji”
The look of adoration in your eyes was something Sukuna would’ve wanted to capture forever if he could express the sentiment. However for now he’d settle for memorizing every detail of today. His wife birthing his first heir, the name she had chosen he permitted.
Maybe just maybe this world wasn’t so bad
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helpamalsfamily · 1 month ago
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Help a Displaced Amal's Family from Gaza Rebuild Their Lives 💔🇵🇸
Dear Humanity,
My name is Amal, and I am from Gaza. We are 5 family members. Currently, my family and I are living in northern Gaza under conditions of starvation, shelling, and gunfire. Gaza is experiencing a devastating war that has forced many families, including mine, to flee our homes repeatedly. Each time we are displaced, we are unable to take anything with us, losing the little food and clothing we managed to store.
We are enduring an unimaginable crisis right now, facing severe shortages of food and water tainted with harmful viruses and bacteria. This contamination is causing dangerous skin and respiratory diseases, and we are now also grappling with an outbreak of polio.
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The scarcity of food is not just a hardship; it is a relentless torment, leaving us weakened and ill. Our lack of income, or rather its complete absence, is tearing our family apart, leaving us helpless and struggling to survive.
This suffering is beyond what any living being should endure. Imagine spending just one night in these conditions how would you feel? From the depths of our hearts, we desperately implore you to support us, to help us escape this famine and the devastation of war.
Our home, my workplace, and all my sources of income as a software developer have been destroyed due to the war. With no stable place to stay and no source of income, we are struggling to survive.
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We urgently need your help to:
Purchase essential food and clothing for my family, Secure a temporary shelter, and Leaving Gaza and seeking a safe place to start a new life for me and my family.
Therefore, I implore you to help us provide food, water, and a safe place outside of Gaza for me and my family. Your donations will make a significant difference in our lives. Every contribution, no matter how small, will provide us with the relief we desperately need and the hope to rebuild our future.
Thank you for your kindness and generosity.
Your support will give us a chance to overcome this crisis and look forward to a better tomorrow.
Dear Tumblr Community,
I am delighted to be part of this comunity and seek your support in sharing a post I've crafted. This isn't merely a collection of words but a crucial part of a fundraising effort to assist my family during these challenging times.
I have faith that you will help amplify this message to reach a wide audience.
Thank you sincerely for your support..❤️🇵🇸
Verified by : @hayanahed
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terrestrialnoob · 3 months ago
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Harley crawled into the apartment. It was organized, but it looked like the occupant didn't have a lot of time for cleaning. She walked softly through it, taking it in. There were photos of her target and what had to be her family, but no friends or romantic partners. Some had a pair of older adults, matching traits meant bio-parents. More of the photos were of the target and a younger boy - a little brother, the highest likelihood of becoming another target if things go bad.
Harley continued forward, following the light to where her target was. She stood in the doorway, looking in.
Dr. Jasmine Fenton, Arkham Asylum's newest psychologist, just got her degree and everything. She did what most newbies do, actually thinking she could get through to the Joker. Harley didn't want to say it was impossible, but everyone who tried ended up in a new job or dead. Harley would try and make sure it was the former and not the later.
Harley watched as the redhead read over a file as she ate from a takeout box. She didn't want to scare the girl, yet. The scaring her away from Joker came later. So, she had to wait for the perfect moment to-
"I know you're there." Jasmine didn't look up from her file, but held out the last box of Chinese food in Harley's direction. "There's plenty if you want some."
"Awe, you ruined the surprise." Harley walked out of the shadows of the hallway into the girl's home office. She snatched the offered box of food and took a few bites as she jumped to sit on the desk.
"I'm hard to sneak up on." Jasmine said, closing her file and finally looking at Harley. "So, Dr. Quinzel, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit this evening?"
"Oh, call me Harley!" She laughed, she wasn't called Dr. all that often any more. She tapped her chop sticks on the file Jasmine just closed. "I thought you'd like a consult on your new patient, Dr. Fenton. I've got a lot of experience with him."
"I prefer to go by Jazz." She said with a smile, "While I appreciate the offer, I'd like to see how far I can get on my own. And, sorry, but I'm pretty sure your license was revoked."
Harley nodded as she swallowed to get the noodles out of her mouth. "I get it! You're new, fresh outta school, gotta prove yourself. But Joker ain't the guy to do that with. He eats people like us for breakfast, and in all the years he's been in Arkham, no one's been able to get anywhere with him."
Jazz sighed, "I don't like to believe people are lost causes. There's always something we can do to help."
"You can't help everyone, especially when they don't want it. And it's not just a question if whether or not he can be saved or whatever." Harley set down the now empty box, Jazz pointed to another one that still had food in it, but Harley declined. "If you keep it up, he'll think you're worth his time to torment. There's no telling what he'll do when he inevitably gets himself out again."
"I'll be fine." Jazz said, but Harley had to cut her off before she said something stupid.
"It's not just you! You've got family out there he can target, your parents. Your Brother! Anyone you date will become a target! He'll do everything in his power to make your life miserable!"
Jazz chuckled. "If he wants to target my family, his funeral. My parents are - were supervillains. They've really only become less- well, hyper-focused on eradicating an entire race of being- in the past few years. And my brother - I'm pretty sure he's conditionally immortal. So that's nothing to worry about."
"If it's conditional, Joker will find a way around it." Harley said, but she had to admit, this might have been an unnecessary trip. "You sure y'ain't got nothing to worry about? What about you? How conditional is your mortality?"
Jazz smiled. Her mouth seemed too wide and with too many teeth. "Oh, I am nowhere near immortal. But..."
She stood up and the room was suddenly a black void. Toxic green eyes and mouths filled with glowing white teeth opened around them. "I doubt anyone could get close enough to test it."
The room was suddenly back to normal, but whatever that thing was was still there. Harley could see its eyes watching her with amusement from inside Jazz's oversized cardigan.
"Well, I guess this really was a wasted trip. You've clearly got it covered."
"Not entirely." Jazz said, her hand wend up to her neck to rub nervously, "Well, you see... I don't really have a lot of friends. People tend to get - uh, creeped out, you know? Or chased off by my parents or brother or whatever..."
"You wanna be friends?" Harley laughed so hard she almost fell over.
Jazz's face turned bright red and the shadow eyes looked way less amused. "Yeah, stupid question. You've clearly got your own things going on."
"No! No, no." Harley had to take several deep breaths before she could look Jazz in the face again. "I 100% wanna hang out with you!"
"Really?"
"Oh yeah." She took another deep breath, "I mean, I really should have made a support system before trying to take on the Joker back when I worked for Arkham. This" she pointed between them "can only end well."
Jazz's face turned brighter than the sun. "Oh my gosh! This is amazing! We should - I have Thursday's and weekends off - What - what kind of things should we-"
Oh man, Jazz was like an excited kid. She must have had a really lonely childhood... they can psychoanalyze each other later. "Come over for girl's night next week. I'll tell my gf and bff to expect an extra person... Does the-" she motioned to the cardigan creature "-go everywhere you go? Does it need food?"
"Oh, don't worry about Jet, they only eat who I tell them to."
Harley barked out more laughter. "You're going to fit right in!"
Now featuring a Part 2
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targaryen-dynasty · 5 months ago
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WHAT IS DESTINED CAN NOT BE AVOIDED. (4/4)
Cregan Stark x pregnant!Targaryen!Reader
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WARNINGS: childbirth, swearing
WORDS: 3.5 K
NOTES: thanks to @arcielee for betaing this! <3
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One hand is splayed out over the curve of your swollen stomach and the other clings to your maid’s forearm as you take your time climbing the edge of the bathtub to lower yourself in the tepid water, releasing a content sigh with it still being warm enough for some of the pregnancy pains to slowly but surely fade away.
“You may leave now,” you hum, head tipped back against the edge of the bronze tub. 
What you don’t notice with your eyes closed is the baffled look the two maids assigned for you exchange, visibly hesitant to leave you alone. One of them, a younger girl whose name you’ve learned is Elia, speaks up first, her voice soft but laced with concern that makes you look at them. “My lady… are you sure you will be alright by yourself? Should we not stay here to assist you?”
You sink down a bit further into the water, chest and shoulders now fully submerged as well. “I am with child, not sick. Rest assured I can take care of myself alone.”
The maid still looks unconvinced, and it doesn’t help that it’s now the older one speaking up. “My lady, ‘tis not meant as any disrespect. We are just concerned about your well-being. You are carrying the Lord Stark’s heir, after all, and–”
The door swings open with a creek that cuts the maid off mid sentence. Your eyes dart over, and you can feel your annoyance subside just slightly at the sight of him. Something about the stay in King’s Landing has changed him a bit. You notice it as you watch how he all but saunters into the room, wearing a loose fitted shirt made of linen with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, similarly loose trousers with a pair of soft leather boots. He has forgone Ice, the large sword resting neatly on the equally large desk standing in the chambers, and opted instead for a simple dagger strapped at his hip, hidden beneath the shirt. 
Yet you’d prefer seeing him in his usual leathers and furs rather in the light-eight attire he’s opted for given the warmer climate of the capital. 
“And Lord Stark is here to take care of his wife,” he ends the maid’s sentence, throwing his vest over a nearby chair.
Both women turn around to bow their heads politely upon his arrival, giving him a knowing look. “Pardon us, my lord,” the older maid says. “We were merely making sure the Lady Stark was tending to her pregnancy well.”
Nodding in acknowledgment to their words, you spot his gaze drifting back to you. “Thank you for your concern,” he says politely but with a hint of dismissal in his voice. “But I can assure you my wife is in good hands now. You may both go and tend to your other duties now.”
Exchanging a glance once more, the maids curtsey quickly and take their leave under the steel of Cregan’s gaze. 
“Thank the gods they’re gone,” you mutter and close your eyes again, sighing softly. 
“You make it sound as if they were tormenting you, my love,” Cregan says, undoing the first two buttons of his shirt before he comes closer to the bathtub. 
Opening your eyes once more, you all but glare at him. “They were hovering over me like a pair of mother hens,” you snap. “Ever since Munkun gave me that wretched tonic to bring the babe quicker, they have been treating me as if I am about to break, watching my every move as if I’ll faint any second from the smallest exertion.”
Completely unbothered by your grousing, your irritation has him chuckling. He leans forward to rest his hand on your belly, feeling the rather large swell of it. “They’re just concerned about you, my love,” he says, a hint of amusement in his voice. “They want to make sure you’re well cared for during your pregnancy. Can you blame them?”
“Do they want to make sure I am well cared for, or is it a command of my brother’s council?” You cock a brow, bringing your hand to rest atop his. 
Cregan sighs at your words, knowing that you’re probably right. The council does meddle in far too many things, and neither of you would be surprised if they’d given strict orders to the maids to watch over you. 
“Perhaps ‘tis a bit of both,” Cregan says. “Aegon might be concerned for the health of his dear sister, and his trusted council is definitely influencing his worry. But they are not entirely misguided to look out for you, my love. You’re carrying an heir and your health is of utmost importance.”
Not quite satisfied with his reasoning, you roll your eyes. “Yes, I understand the importance of the heir, but I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself,“ you huff. “But I do not need a flock of overprotective hens following me around, tittering and fretting over every little thing I do. It would not have been like that had we just stayed in Winterfell.”
“Perhaps not,” he agrees, rubbing your swollen bump. “But we’re not in Winterfell, we’re in King’s Landing, and here your brother is king. His council sees it fit to be overly cautious with you. Complaining won’t change that.”
You can’t help the annoyed sigh falling past your lips as you lean your head back against the edge of the tub, sinking further into the water. “How do you think the wolves are faring without us?” 
The change of topic has Cregan laughing softly with the thoughts of your hovering maids quickly shifting to your dire wolves at home in Winterfell. “They are probably fine, my love,” he says, still rubbing your bump despite the rolled up sleeve of his shirt slowly soaking up water. “They are being cared for by our men. They’re tough creatures, those dire wolves. They can take care of themselves.” 
“Just like me,” you quip, raising a brow. “And I was not born a wolf – I am a dragon.”
“Oh, that you are,” Cregan agrees. “A fierce and dangerous one at that. But even a dragon might need a little bit of pampering and attention now and then, don’t you think?”
The earlier annoyance and irritation at the maids quickly melts away with your husband’s teasing but comforting manner, making you hum in agreement. Yet you have to admit it’s mostly Cregan’s attention and care showered upon yourself that you enjoy. “Perhaps you’re right.”
Your hand now journeys along the swell of your bump, while you bring the other to rest at the back of his neck, gently massaging it. His attention and care, however, aren’t enough to keep your light demeanor up as a sharp tug makes itself known in your stomach. Your body curls together at that, making you moan out in pain. 
Not wasting a moment, Cregan leans forward, trying to figure out what is going on. “Are you alright?” he asks with a concerned voice, his wide, gray eyes locked on your features. 
As another pang of pain grips your body, you gasp and clutch the back of his neck instinctively, your eyes widening in realization. “The babe…” you gasp, face twisting in pain as another contraction washes over you. “I think the babe… the babe is coming. Now.”
His eyes widen briefly in surprise, but his instincts kick in immediately. Quickly springing into action, he rises to his feet and reaches for a large cloth. “Let me get you in bed, and then I shall fetch the mae–”
“Just fetch the maester please, this shall be fine.”
Biting back a worried protest, knowing that arguing with a woman in labor would be a futile endeavor, much more with a woman as stubborn as you are, he rushes out the door with a nod of his head and a forced smile on his lips. 
As he leaves the room, you’re left alone, body wracked with increasing contractions that force one groan and gasp from your lip after the other. Your fingers dig into the rim of the tub, the realization dawns on you that you might have to give birth right here in the bathtub. 
The door pushes open again, and behind your wolf of a man barging into the room is Grand Maester Munkun, his expression not as concerned as your husband’s. 
“Maester,” you croak with a strained voice, looking at him as he moves to your side to assess your condition. “Is this normal? The pain, the–the rushed… labor?”
He grimly shakes his head. “‘Tis not uncommon for a tonic to bring on labor earlier than expected when the mother has surpassed her time. And the early onset of labor also does not necessarily mean anything is wrong,” he explains. “The pain you’re experiencing, however, should not be this severe. Let me examine you, my lady.”
You hardly notice your worried maids scurrying into the chambers with towels in their arms when the maester pressed his fingers against your swollen belly, eventually even going lower to feel inside of you. Cregan towers over him from behind, making sure that he does not make one wrong move and ensures your and the babe’s safety. 
And only at the maester’s next words seem you and your husband to be able to breathe again. “The babe seems to be positioned properly,” he announces. “And the pains are strong and regular. This is a good sign. For how long have the pains been coming, my lady?”
You grit your teeth through another wave of pain, meeting your husband’s worried gaze. “I’ve felt little… twinges all day,” you manage to say between labored breaths. “But they were so minor, I did not think them worth mentioning.”
“Sometimes the early stages of labor can be mild and easy to overlook, my lady. But now that it is progressing, the pains will become more intense as the babe prepares to make its entrance into the world.”
You suddenly feel a twinge of pain tear through your body like a hot knife, like you are being torn apart, making it impossible for you to hold back a scream. The maids all but hurry to your side at the sight, the older one bringing a soothing hand to your shoulder. “Take deep breaths, my lady,” she encourages, “and then push.”
Two other maids grab your legs and hoist them over the rim of the tub, making it easier for them to gauge the process through the slightly opaque water. 
Grand Maester Munkun has been forced away by your husband sinking onto his knees, peeling your hand off the edge of the tub to capture it with his own. Your nails dig harshly into his palm as you eventually bear down and push with all your might, your screams echoing off the walls. 
“Cregan…” you pant, completely abandoning any courtesies with other people present. “I… I have changed my mind now… I do not wish–” you’re interrupted by a contraction, forcing you to push once again. “I have no desire to give you an heir,” you pant during a short lived, pain-less moment. 
You’re a fierce and proud woman that has endured so many hardships before, yet this seems to be the ultimate test of your strength and endurance – and right now you’re not quite sure you can finish it. 
Cregan can’t answer before he’s interrupted by another of your screams, each contraction and push bringing more and more agony, pain shooting through you as your babe readies itself to slowly make its way into the world. 
“Keep going, my lady,” the maid says, dabbing a cloth on your forehead. 
“I fucking am!” you all but snap, the sharp tone of your voice solely directed at her even causing the anxiety to leave your husband’s face for a moment. 
None of their gentle touches and encouraging words ease the pain that ripples through your body – not when the pressure inside of you builds up so quickly. 
Beads of sweat drip down your forehead, caught by the maid’s cloth and leaving your skin glistening with the effort of birthing Cregan’s heir. 
The pain gets less for a moment, allowing you to breathe as exhaustion creeps up on you despite you not yet being done. Your head tips to the side, and your gaze meets the concerned one of your husband, an anxiety etched on his features that makes it clear his heart aches with your screams. 
He leans in and tips his forehead against yours, allowing you to close your eyes for a moment and take in a deep breath. “You’re doing so well, my love,” he whispers, a tremor in his voice that comes close to the one that shakes his large hands. “Hold on, just a little longer.”
The urge to push becomes adamant once again, forcing you to hunch forward from the force that bears down on you. You all but squeeze the life out of Cregan’s hand, the pain so overwhelming you hardly hear the words of the maid kneeling at the end of the tub. “Almost there, my lady. The babe is almost out.”
Every bit of your strength is focused on delivering the child, your energy almost completely spent at this point. The pain seems to consume your entire being, filling your mind with nothing but the agony of birthing your child. 
But with another push, all of your suffering suddenly is over. 
The pain starts to subside, replaced by an overwhelming sense of both relief and exhaustion. You collapse back against the tub, your breath coming in ragged gasps. 
That is the moment for the maids to go into action, their training and experience taking over. One of them reaches down to gently scoop the babe from the water, while another already is at her side to wrap a clean cloth around its tiny body. Where your screams have filled the chambers before, it’s now its cries that echo off the walls, easing all of your anxiety. 
“It is a boy, my lady,” the maid still kneeling at your side says, a soft smile on her lips. “A healthy, beautiful boy.” You smile softly as well, releasing a deep sigh of relief.
Grand Maester Munkun leans over the other two maids to assess the newborn, checking for any immediate signs of distress. As much as you want, you can’t keep your eyes open to watch how he peels the cloth aside, and you just smile weakly at his voice. “The boy indeed seems to be in good health,” he declares, clearly talking to Cregan who hasn’t left your side. “A good set of lungs, too, my lord.”
Cregan also sighs in relief, the tension in his body leaving at once at that. Bringing a hand to your cheek, he gently rubs his thumb over your sweaty skin. “Well done, my love,” he praises. “You have done so well. Our son is here and he is healthy.”
“Show him to me,” you demand softly, blinking wearily at him. 
With a nod, he rises to his feet to make room for the maids. One kneels down and presents you the small bundle, but as you reach out, a renewed wave of cramps not as harsh as the ones before takes over your body. You grit your teeth and brace yourself for a sharper pain that doesn’t come.
“Almost there, my lady. ‘Tis the afterbirth,” the older maid assures you, rubbing your shoulder. “You’re almost done.”
It’s been quite some time since your septa has told you about the process of birthing a child, yet you still know that delivering the afterbirth is another messy and unpleasant part of it – one that still has to be done anyways. 
After it has come out without any issues, one maid quickly takes care of disposing of it while another maid tries to detach it from your son. 
With the birth and delivery finished, the attention now shifts to getting you out of the bathtub and into bed to ensure your comfort and rest. The maids have handed your husband your son to gather around you, gently helping you up and out of the water. “Lean on us, my lady,” one of them said softly with her arm around your waist. 
Your exhausted body is dried and put into smallclothes and a nightdress until it’s eventually allowed to sink into the soft sheets. The maids fuss around you, making sure you’re comfortable, before your still crying son is finally brought to you.
They tug at the neckline of your nightdress to free your full breasts without a warning, yet you’re quick to swat their hands away despite having your son in your arms. “What are you doing?” 
“My lady,” one of them begins, “‘tis important that you begin to feed the babe as soon as possible. The first milk is the best source of nourishment for your son. We just wish to help you with the positioning and latching.”
Their words make you doubt yourself and your mothering abilities, although a part of you knows that it’s not their intention to make you feel that way. 
“I know how to feed him,” you snap suddenly, maybe even irritated at your son’s hungry crying, and the maids recoil at your harsh tone. They know that the first hours with a newborn are never easy, and they know that you are exhausted, sore, and overwhelmed by the recent events – hence their quick recovery. 
“Of course, my lady,” one says, her voice gentle. “We did not mean to overstep. We only want to ensure that both you and the babe are safe and well cared for.”
Letting out a deep breath, you meet your husband’s gaze and try to keep your irritation at bay. “I understand,” you reply, slightly opening your arms to allow them to continue. 
The earlier, chastened demeanor of the maids is replaced by a reassuring one as one maid grabs your hand to bring it to your breast, demonstrating how to help your babe latch on your little bud. “There you go, my lady,” she whispers as you eventually begin to nurse your son, offering quiet, encouraging words. 
Cregan, who has been silently observing the scene, finally interjects. “Thank you for your services,” he says, voice kind but firm. “You all have done an excellent job and you may leave now.”
The maids and grand maester glance at you and your son once more before filling out of the room, leaving your small family alone. Your husband contemplates sitting down in a chair close to the bed, but instead opts to occupy his side of the bed, scooting closer to you and bringing a hand up to brush your son’s cheek lightly with a finger. You shift a little to accommodate him right next to you.
Your eyes are fixed on the infant in your arms as you continue to nurse him, watching as he greedily sucks at your breast with soft smacking sounds filling the otherwise quiet room. Despite the exhaustion, a sense of contempt washes over you. 
“Can you believe he is really ours?” you ask softly, not tearing your eyes off of your son. 
Cregan chuckles softly and shakes his head. “I can scarcely believe it,” he replies. He leans in and presses his lips to your temple, speaking against your skin. “You are incredible, do you know that?” Pulling back, his gaze is filled with love and admiration. “Everything you went through… I have never seen anything more courageous and admirable.”
“What do you think about Eyron?” you whisper, eventually meeting his gaze. 
He repeats the name, testing the sound of it and seriously considering it. “I like it. It has a strong, northern feel to it. Suits him well, I think.”
Your smile mirrors his as your eyes drift back down to your son, who is still suckling at your breast, his tiny hand clutching at the neckline of your nightdress as he does so. You gently brush a finger over his head, feeling the softness of the light hair. 
Relaxing into your husband’s embrace, your body fitting against his like a missing piece, you close your eyes in contentment. “You do know you will not ride at the front with your men on the way back north, do you not?”
He kisses your temple yet again, chuckling softly. “That is something to discuss once you have recovered and ‘tis time for us to return, my love.”
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divinesolas · 4 months ago
Text
Your Reflection
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summary: rq; when the thoughts jacaerys has had his whole life finally can no longer be pushed down he seeks comfort in you
jacaerys targaryen x non targ!reader
w.c: 1.7k
c.w: just a lot of fluff, angst and some minor smut (oral)
perm jace taglist ! (open) @cruelworldlana @smurfelle @ireneispunk @hxtd @venmondiese @urmomsgirlfriend1 1 @jacesvelaryons s @earth4angels @itsemohours @valdezthg
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your head whips around at the slam of your room and you stand with wide eyes at the red eyed prince letting out shaky breaths as he swiftly makes his way towards you.
“jace.”
he pulls you into him and falls onto the bed where he lays on top of you, shoving his head into your neck while he lets out weak sobs. “she is being unreasonable” you place your head in his hair while letting out a deep breath. You knew well of his distain for his mothers idea him having ranted for far too long to you about it earlier that same day, to have the low born men and women attempt to claim dragons. bastards.
it was sensitive for him. you knew this far too well. He had gone to try and convince her to change her mind but clearly he had failed and you tried to come up with words that could bring him comfort. “does she not see how foolish this is? to let those people walk amongst us? those those…” he pulls his head away to look at you as he struggles to speak, his face clearly tormented and painful. “they are undeserving. unworthy. they are mongrels and monsters. born out of wedlock believing themselves to be fit for a role they were not made for,”
“are you talking about them or are you talking about yourself?”
he gulps at your words and his eyes well up, “what claim do i have if they claim a dragon? i do not have the hair, the skin, i am a fraud and everyone knows it. I am mere moments away from being stripped of everything i have left.” his head falls onto your chest as his chest heaves up and down with heavy breaths. “i cannot imagine how you feel. the shame you must feel walking down the halls and people staring at you, married to a bastard.”
You grip his face and make him look at you. Hes shocked to see the furry and angry on your face. “i will hear no more of this. you are jacaerys targaryen son of queen rhaenyra taragryen. heir to the iron throne nobody will contest that not. don’t you dare insinuate i am insulted or shamed to be seen with you it is an honor. everyday i wake up blessed to know i married such an honorable and truthful man and i would have it no other way.”
at this point tears are pouring down his face as he shakes his head finding himself refusing to listen to your words. “you could not possibly mean such a thing.” he whines ever so slightly when you bring your lips to his face and kiss the tears off his face, closing his eyes and he refuses to look at you. “i mean it and more. there is no other better man than you. your heritage means nothing to me. should anybody contest that remember you are a targaryen. they shall pay for their contestation with fire and blood.”
he says nothing in return, simply laying his head on your chest while silent tears continue to run down his face. you did not wish to push him to speak, your hands find the back of his head and play with his hair ever so slightly.
“what if they do contest it?” you peer down at him but he continues to stare at the lit fire in your fire pit. “what if after my mother dies they argue and fight and usurp my throne right under me as they have done her? what if there is another war and more people get hurt what if you,,,” His words end up choked up in his throat as he shakes with sobs, you cant help but feel your own eyes begin to water. He’s scared. just a scared young man who doesn’t wish to lose anyone or anything else.
one of your hands soothe his back as you press a kiss to his forehead while your other one cups his face to wipe away his tears. you cannot say anything to console him, knowing this is an issue that runs deeper into his consciousness than you will ever be able to fix by your lonesome. So when you roll him off you he sits up and stares at you in horror as you begin to walk off. his mouth shakily opens to call after you to beg you to stay but his words die on his tongue and he can just let out a meek gasp.
When you arrive back into the room he has his head in his hands while he cries into them. He looks up at you when you place a leather bag next to and tries to catch his breath. His pupils bounce around your face as your hands grab his top and begin to pull it off of him. He allows you, making no move to stop you despite his confusion. “lay on your stomach.” He pauses sniffing as he folds his hands in his lap. When he doesn’t move your cup his face and press a light kiss against his furrowed brows.
He silently pulls away and rolls to lay on his back as you had asked. He has no clue what you’re doing and almost turns to ask you after theres been no movement or talking from you for a bit until he feels you straddle his back and your hands begin to run through his hair. He can smell the oil on your fingers as you delicately run them throughout his curls. He lets out a pleased hum as your nails scratch into his head.
he does not say anything simply allowing you to shower him in affections he normally does not allow you to. cooing at him and pecking all over his back and head. As you move down to massage his neck and back he finds himself overwhelmed with the display of affection and love you’re showering him with he has no clue what to do or say.
Hes even more so embarrassed when you flip him around and he’s hard as a rock. Hes not even feeling sexual in that moment but he’s body is flighting against him. He whines slightly and wishes he could explain himself but he cant. You dont seem to mind. simply dripping more oil onto his skin and working your hands to ease his tension.
He closes his eyes and tries to will it away while you continue to press kisses onto his chest and stomach but if anything it only gets worse at your pure display of love. He hopes he is not ruining this just as he ruins everything. He has never felt so loved in his life he has never felt so at peace since before the war he wants to live in this feeling forever.
His eyes shoot open when you tug his pants down his legs leaving him completely bare and he looks at you alarmed. You say nothing however simply eyeing him as you kiss around his thighs and massage the parts your lips are not. He is breathless as he watches you. When you suddenly stop your movements and look at him he does not know what to do. “i,, shouldn’t i,,, you should,,” The look you have on your face as him stumbling and stuttering over his words. He’s never like this. He would never allow you to do this to him normally. He would insist he get you off first or even outright forbid you to even do something like this more content with pleasing you.
Yet he cant help but be greedy today, the self centered part of him wins and he finds himself nodding to you. He will regret this later he knows he will but when you peck light kissing along his throbbing cock he throws his head back with a moan without a care in the world. His hands grip at the sheets under him when you tongue at his slit slurping up some of his precum before wrapping your lips fully around him.
He understands why some men who are less honorable as he seek out these pleasures often and he almost wishes he allowed you do to this more often. When your hands come to cup and play with his balls his legs shake and he whimpers. He swears he’s going to rip the bedsheets the way he’s gripping at them. His face burns slightly in humiliation and more so in pleasure. sweat drips down the sides of his forehead into his newly oiled hair as he hips uncontrollable thrust up into your mouth where he spews out and apology but you simply hum around him sending another shiver up his spine.
his whole body is shaking with pleasure. He had already been sensitive and relaxed from your overwhelming intimacy he can barely control himself now. he finds himself chanting your name mixed and mumbled with i love you’s. He releases unexpectedly after some louder groans and moans and his eyes well up again as he watches you swallow it down. “im sorry im sorry.” even when he does allow you to do this he never lets himself release in your mouth fearing it may be too much for you and usually just allows himself to spend on your chest.
You climb up to him and press a loving kiss against his lips. He does not mind he can taste himself on your lips as he presses his lips firmly back against yours. The action speaking louder than any words could. He insist he should do something for you in return but the way his eyes droop and struggle to stay open you know he is mere moments from falling asleep. You smile at him and peck his cheek as you shake your head at him. He tries to argue with falters under your comforting hands and sweet nothings into his ear.
He settles with a faint smile on his face the first one you’ve seen on him in many moons. when you rub your hands on his chest he falls asleep at the comfort but not being letting another i love you slip through his lips. His smile grows when he hears you return it before drifting off to sleep where he knows he’ll meet you there too
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hazem-khalil · 1 month ago
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Let me tell you about the largest and most dangerous prison in the world—a prison of genocide. This prison, called Gaza, stretches 41 kilometers in length, with a width varying between 6 to 12 kilometers, covering an area of 360 square kilometers. Inside this prison, children, the elderly, and even animals and cats live in fear. Everyone is punished here, and the cruelties seem endless.
In this prison, people are burned alive without reason. Others have their limbs amputated without anesthesia, because medicine is simply unavailable. There are those who are shot just for searching for water or food for themselves and their families. This is what happened to Ahmed’s cousin—he was out to get water for his children, only to be struck by a bomb. He died, leaving behind his children, including a newborn baby.
In this place, random shelling never stops. Everyone is constantly threatened—death, burning, or being imprisoned in an even smaller cell, where torture is inevitable. And of course, there is barely any food or water here. Only kind souls like you provide the little that helps these families survive in this massive prison.
Inside this prison, people are punished without reason, without trial, because international courts can do nothing, and injustice has become the norm. Everyone in Gaza must endure their sentence, though no one knows how long they will survive—whether they will succumb to hunger or be killed by the bombs before they can taste freedom.
This is the brutal reality for our families in Gaza. Please, don’t leave them to suffer in this prison. Help them escape this torment and breathe the air of freedom. Help evacuate Ahmed’s family—your generosity or even sharing their story can make you the reason they are saved, the reason they survive this cruel, unjust imprisonment.
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just-some-random-blogger · 1 month ago
Text
Tormented Spirit | 4
Part 1 2 3 4 5
"Is it such a sin to stand up for yourself?" you mutter as tears blur your vision. The way he reacted was visceral, instinctive even. "You never have to stand up for yourself ever again," says Daemon, reaching a hand to you, "come."
Daemon Targaryen x Hightower!Reader | 4k+ | cw: fem!reader, reader has brown hair, wife!reader, twin!Gwayne, arranged/forced marriage, canon divergence, alternate universe, slow burn, DD:DNE, daddy issues/child abuse/family problems, mentions/depictions of mental/physical/psychosomatic illness, ye old misogyny, angst, typos, etc.
A/N: ayo i did it again (rambled). i have no idea where i went with this but it really wENT yknow, but hey you get fluff!!!!!. ALSO (im looking at you cristi) if it wasnt clear this is set, like, pre-show T_T just before ep 1 lmao (ily cristi im just going through it with my writing) | cross posted on ao3
tagging: @arabellasleopardcoat
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You did not realize being made a spectacle would be as exhausting as it was. Truly, all you did as your prince brought you to the training quarters of the City Watch, was stand, force a smile and feel their gaze upon you as Daemon instructed them to roughhouse for your (but really his) entertainment. Yet, it felt like you had been running nonstop and only now found reprieve.
Perhaps it was because it was really your mind that was running with the thought of how you snubbed your twin. In truth, you knew Gwayne understood your actions, for he was really the only person who understood you, and yet that was precisely why it ate at you so much. How could you do such a thing to your brother?
At some point, Daemon is too distracted by his sparring soldiers to remember you were there. By the time they began to drink, you gave word to one of the guards and made your way back to the Keep yourself.
You head for your brother's chambers, set on setting things straight. You do not find him there however, and your mind begins to wander. Was he avoiding you? Was he cross?
Upon asking one of his servants, you find that he was tasked with duty from the Lord Hand. Part of you feels comforted by the answer, but then you wonder if the task had something to do with you. You try not to think about it as you head back to your own chambers.
You are ripped out of your train of thought when you hear your name called.
Queen Aemma stands across you, hand on her belly, smile on her lips, "have you come to worry on me, good sister?"
Your back straightens and you clasp your hands in front of you, "my queen. I-I-"
"I do hope not," she stretches, leaning back into her hands, "the last thing I want right now is to have yet another person try to tell me what is best for me and my babe."
You shake your head, turning to your feet, "the last thing I would do is impose my inexperience of child bearing upon you."
Aemma's face softens. She's seldom seen someone who looks as though they suffer more than her. "Excellent."
You lift your gaze.
"Come keep me company then and distract me with tales lacking child bearing."
You are taken aback by the invitation and watch the queen slowly waddle back into her quarters. You delay to realize you should be assisting then promptly rush up to her side. You offer her your arm and she gratefully takes it. She is exhausted by the time you reach her bed.
"Thank you," she sighs, wiping the sweat on her temple.
"Of course," you help her put her feet up. You look over your shoulder momentarily, "have you no one to call to? Shall I call for someone?"
"No," she waves you off, "I merely walked out of the room and looked out of the window for a while. I am fine."
You nod and pull away, fidgeting with your fingers, "is there something I might do for you?"
"Yes," she reaches for your arm, "sit."
So you do.
"And tell me, why on earth did Daemon bring you to the City Watch?"
You freeze upon hearing that.
There is a playful curiosity upon Aemma's features, but you no thin think she asks to embarrass you. Still, you open your mouth and begin to stutter, "h-how did you kno-w?"
She chuckles, leaning deeper into her pillow, "oh, my dear," she rubs her belly, "I am privy to all gossip in the Keep. Tis the only activity one such as I can do in my state. Incidentally, had the opposite been true, it is all the servants speak of—" she slowly reaches for you, pushing your hair back.
You are made acutely aware of the marks on your collar again.
"—how the fragile lamb tamed the ferocious dragon."
You chuckle dryly and stare at your lap. You pick at your nails, feeling your throat tighten, "I tame no one, my queen."
As Aemma looks at you, she thinks again she's not laid her eyes upon someone that looks more pained than herself. The sun was already setting, but the marks on your collarbones were still visible. She wonders if you at least enjoyed yourself when you received those marks. "Perhaps not yet."
You chuckle once more.
"He is stubborn and brash, but he is also loyal and passionate."
"Loyal to himself," you turn to her, "with a passion for deviance."
You are unnerved by the sudden call of your name. Your heart races at her misplaced familiarity.
This might be why you blurt out, "I am no fool."
She straightens up, "I did not say you were."
"I know I am feeble in form, but not in mind. I am a mere piece in someone else's game of chess, but every piece has its purpose, even pawns."
Aemma frowns. Her forehead curls, "and pawns can turn into the most powerful piece."
You stare at her belly.
"The Queen."
You do not tell her it is only true in board games.
"Does it frighten you?"
Your eyes quirk up to hers. Her violet eyes are much softer than Daemon's. She does not clarify, but the way in which she rubs her swollen stomach makes it clear to you what she meant. You rub your own as dread pricks through you, "I do not know how it is possible for anyone not to be frightened."
It is her turn to chuckle.
It perturbs you.
"I will not lie to you," she shifts in her spot, "there is no greater pain in the world than becoming a mother, I think..."
It is mortifying to hear, considering you know how many times Queen Aemma has conceived and given birth. How much more painful it must be, as she remains to have one child. You do not think all your years of pain could ever prepare you for such loss.
"... that can be the most gratifying."
You are taken aback when she reaches for your hand. Her palms are soft, just as her expression.
"I do not presume to know you, but I find that whatever pain I have is eclipsed by love I feel for my babe. Still, when the thought of childbirth gets too much, I retreat into something I loved before my babe."
Your brows furrow.
"Tapestries and tea time," she tilts her head, "and Viserys."
You do not know how to feel as she pulls away.
She rubs her forehead, "even speaking is exhausting when you are with child. Forgive me, but I think I would like to go to sleep now."
You shake your head and stand, "there is nothing to be forgiven. I will leave you to your own comforts," you curtsy.
You roam the candlelit halls as you digest the queen's words. You were on your way back to your chambers, then you remember your brother. You promptly head to his room, finding the door open. "Gwayne?"
Emerge two servants carrying a trunk, greeting you before walking off. Your brows furrow as you watch them. You turn back when you hear your name called.
Your twin walks over, still in his doublet and leather shoes. You begin to get nervous, "you're leaving?"
"Preparing to," he says, eyes falling on your collarbones, "the is still the matter of the tourney."
"Tourney?"
"The queen is set to give birth soon— you must not let that man dishonor you so," he quips through clenched teeth, pulling you into his room.
You are dragged inside and he releases you once you're in front of his bed. He grabs his blanket and drapes it on your shoulders. He gathers you hair and pulls it from underneath, "play dumb if you must."
You knit your brows.
"Bat your lashes at him to have your way."
You tighten the blanket around yourself, "I already have."
"To protect me," he tilts his head, "protect yourself, sister. Put yourself first, always."
You clench your jaw.
"He will be kinder if he believes you to be a bimbo."
You scoff, "must I do such a thing?"
Gwayne narrows his eyes, "he is shaming you purposefully out of spite—for me and our father."
The idea makes you queasy because you knew it was true. Your brother was sensible because he got his sense from you, and yet... you find yourself thinking that is it so farfetched for the prince to simply want to show you off proudly? Even in something like this, you were not even being thought of. "And acting a fool will save me from spite?"
He looks at you the way he did whenever you said something stupid. It offends you because it was not a stupid question. He speaks to you, as if you were four, "if he asks you to wear something compromising again, tell him all your dresses are being washed."
You chuckle dryly, "you honestly think he would believe such a blatant lie?"
"He need not have to," he scoffs, "it's not like he'll go through the trouble of inspecting your closet." He places a hand on your arm, "come. I will walk you to your room."
Something unpleasant bubbles up your throat as Gwayne leads you out. As you exit his chambers, you pull away and choke out, "do you think me a fool, devil?"
He sighs and rolls his eyes, "do not be-"
"Do you truly think that I am slowwitted and senseless?"
Your ears ring because of how says your name. You step back when he tries to take your arm again. Gwayne raises a finger and a brow, "I've had a long day. I do not wish to quarrel."
"And I have not?!" you quip, "answer the question!"
He says your name again, firmer, as though you were a petulant child.
"Just fucking tell me!" you snap.
"Gods!" he wipes his face, "you're acting fucking stupid, I'll tell you that!"
You scoff and shove him with all your might. It barely makes him recoil, but you get your point across, especially when you walk away.
Gwayne sighs and calls your name, following after you.
"I hate you!" you spit back, unwilling to turn back as you feel your eyes begin to water.
"I did not mean it," he calls, quickly coming up to your side, "why would you ask me something you clearly know is not-"
"Then why would you reduce me as such?" you stop in your tracks to glare at him.
Gwayne freezes and scowls back, "why do you think I tell you anything?"
"Stupidity will not save me, you fucking idiot," you blurt back, doing your best to hold back your tears.
"It will fucking save you from scheming rats," he grabs your arms and shakes you gently.
You shake your head as tears stream down your cheek.
"H-"
"Do not make me."
He purses his lips.
"You know I will do it if you tell me to," you mutter, "do not make me."
Guilt eats him whole as you weep. It never gets easier. You'd think that he'd be indifferent to it by now, but he knows the great effort you put in withholding your emotions. It hurts him even more, if anything. He sighs in defeat, dropping his head before wiping your cheeks. He attempts to hush you.
You only further fall apart, "I would be remembered as a stupid, dying girl."
He speaks your name, as if to correct you.
"Please don't leave," you mumble weakly.
"Listen to me-"
"No, promise me you won't le-"
"I am heir to Oldtown," he interrupts, "my place can never be at your side."
"So you forsake me now?"
"Listen," he speaks firmly, "you are my twin sister. There is nothing I have not shared with you, and you know this."
You look down for a moment then shake your head, "I wish you kept a few things to yourself..."
Gwayne releases a breath at your words. He leans down to look you in the eye, "says the woman who bares love bites on her neck for all to see."
You shove him away and tighten your arms around yourself, "ass. That's different."
He rolls his eyes, placing his hands on his hips, "how?"
"I did not chose this," you mutter.
His expression falls. He balls his hands into fists, "I would call our house to banner for you."
You scoff, looking away, "don't be ridiculous."
"An affront to my twin is worse than one to myself," he points a finger to the ground.
"I am his wife," you look back to him.
"And I am a man of honor," he proclaims, "if he kills me, then all will know I died protecting my sister from his malice."
"You idiot," you shake your head at him, "do you think the people would believe the words of a prince or a dead man?"
"A princess."
You stare at him.
"With a tender heart," he takes your arm, leading you off.
You take a moment before responding, "you mean a stupid, dying princess."
"You are not dying," he gives you a serious look.
"We are all dying."
He sighs, "a jolly thought."
"I am dying sooner than you howev-"
"No," he interrupts, "you will outlive me. I will die in battle."
You glare at him, "we cannot both be yearning for death, moron."
"I do not yearn no more than you do," he raises a brow.
You stare at him for a moment. He is in denial. You almost tell him that you still pray the same prayer he caught you praying all those nights ago. You do not.
"You will get better, sister," he says, "I simply won't allow you not to."
You look away, "ever imperious."
His expression slips for a moment as he imagines a world without his twin. It is so grotesque, he cannot bear it. He hides behind humor, "you mean charismatic, dashing, and valiant."
"And stupid."
"And incredibly well-spoken, witty, charming-"
"Shut it."
"-attractive, gallant, seemly—"
You bid each other good night with a smile. Neither of you knew how broken your spirits were after your conversation though, and you never will.
Your head lies heavy on your pillow. You are unsure if you are grateful or resentful that you sleep tonight by yourself.
Meanwhile, Daemon is startled awake by the words of his subordinate. He sets his cup of ale down and chuckles in disbelief, narrowing his eyes at one of the three men he had been drinking with, "what?"
The man clarifies, shifting in his seat adjacent his commander, "you've changed since being wed, my prince. For the better."
The prince chuckles yet again, "pray, tell."
Someone else answers for him, "you have been more gracious during drill training."
Daemon's brows quirk.
"And you have been more forgiving as of late," another blurts.
The first who spoke finally says, "you do not drink with us as often as before. This is the first since you've gotten married."
He scoffs and shakes his head, "so. You think I've grown soft?"
The three immediately straighten up and even manage to muster in unison, "no, commander."
Daemon downs his ale and shakes his head, "I'll show you soft."
The next morn, the queen's words repeat in your mind as you awaken. Retreat in what you love. What was it that you loved? You think of Gwayne, but he is set to leave, Alicent, but you do not wish to burden her with your woes... your father...
Oh... your mother. You could retreat in her.
You sit up and rub your face when your servants enter to wake you.
You lose your resolve to light a candle at the temple at when you realized you'd be dying girl retreating to her dead mother. Pathetic.
By the time your servants are helping you fix your hair, you ask them, "if you could do whatever you wanted for a day, what would you do?"
The servants turn to each other then break into giggles. One says, "I would spend a day with my Gwilym."
You watch them in the mirror as they squeal under their breath.
You turn to your nails. You cannot retreat into Daemon.
After they're finished squealing, the other speaks, "mmm. I might go foraging for fruits and flowers."
You lift your head upon hearing that.
"And if I had my pay that day, I'd buy myself some lemon cake."
Your lips part at the idea, "you absolute wit." You turn to her as much as you could as she fixed your hair, "what a brilliant idea."
She chuckles and curtsies, "thank you, milady."
By the time your ward comes, you're already at the door, eager to greet him.
He examines your smile. His brows knit and belly feels uneasy as you take his arm.
You narrow your eyes at his face, doing your best to distinguish who exactly you were face to face with. You forget if it was Arryk with the longer beard or Erryk. You mumble as you make a face, "Erryk?"
"Yes," he nods, feeling stomach rolls, "how are you, my princess?"
You grin, squeezing his steel clad arm as much as you could, "oh, how good of me to get it right. I am glad to have guessed well."
Erryk chuckles under his breath, "you wound me. Am I not set apart in your eyes?"
You stiffen at his expression. You mistake the softness in his eyes for hurt, which is why you release his arm and begin to apologize, "oh, ser. I do not mean to offend, I-"
Erryk raises his hands, "no, my lady. Twas a jest."
Your eyes widen at the clarification. You laugh awkwardly, "ah... apologies."
"Nay," he shakes his head, "I apologize. I do not wish to cause you discomfort."
You huff and give a curt nod, "then," you take his arm again, "I ask that you humor me today, ser Erryk."
His brows furrow. He is intrigued.
"I..." you trail off, gathering your resolve, "wish to go out and pick flowers today." you profess with a soft smile. You raise a finger, "I am am not a fussy passenger. I do not mind sitting in front or behind you on horseback, but I fear I do not know how to control a horse on my own very well," you look away in thought, "we do not have to go very far out of King's Landing, so if it is not possible to get a horse, I will not complain if we walk."
Erryk finds himself smiling as you continue to justify yourself.
"I would not take very long to pick flowers, but if I do," you turn back to him, "I would not refute you if you think we must away."
He nods at your words, "have you broken fast yet?"
You both walk off. You shake your head, "I have not. But I will be quick!"
He shakes his head, "my brother mentioned that you do not like eating alone. If it be agreeable with you, we can break fast together."
You stop in your tracks upon hearing this, "ser Arryk mentioned this?"
Erryk simply nods.
The thought pinches your heart, "it... it was a passing comment. I did not think it noteworthy."
His brows knit at your expression, "do not be so surprised. It is our duty to care for you."
Care for you. You turn to your feet, feeling overwhelmed with emotion. It takes a moment for you to comport yourself, but then you manage turn back at him and smile, "how the gods have blessed me."
His gut reacts to your smile. He releases a breath to calm himself, "we can pick flowers after breaking fast, my princess."
You gasp, "so you agree?!"
Erryk face falls in confusion.
"You would allow me to pick flowers?!" you pull away, nearly jumping up and down in excitement.
"I..." his mouth hangs low, "I do not allow you."
You tilt your head, chuckling in confusion.
"If you instructed me to bring you the moon, I would do my best to claim it for you."
You laugh. You laugh because you miss his sincerity, for it is unfamiliar. You laugh because you only know the kindness of your brother, who cherishes you dearly, yet ridicules you in the same breath. This is why you say, "do not mock me, ser. It is not a crime to enjoy picking flowers."
You expect him to reply the way your twin does: 'I did not say it was a crime,' but you are taken aback by the novelty of his response. Erryk says, "the crime lies with whom would mock such a gentle soul."
You are glad he does not wait for you to respond, because you did not know if you had anything to respond with.
Erryk is silent as you eat in the solar. At first, it was because he second guessed his offer to break fast with you, as it felt so obvious that he was overstepping. But then it was because he was enamored by you and the great many tales you share of eating with your family, picking flowers with your siblings, swimming in rivers with your brother. He did not expect such a temperate outpour from you. He tells himself that he must do all he can to preserve it.
He is selfish in wanting to forfeit a horse. He knows soon enough his brother will come to have his shift, and he wants to keep all your stories to himself; walking will make his time with you longer. At the same time, he fears your body might give in if you were to walk very far, so he settles that you ride on horseback and that he lead your horse on foot.
He is glad of his choice, for had he been on horseback with you, he would not have seen the way your face shone at the sight of the meadow upon reaching it. The moment is quickly fleeting however, and he soon jolts to catch you when you nearly leap off the horse.
Erryk helps you down and is soon forgotten as you run off to gather flowers.
He follows after you with no sense of urgency. He allows you to frolic to your hearts content while he slowly leads the horse towards your general direction.
"ERRYK!" you gasp in horror. It is so sudden, he releases his reins and runs towards you.
"My prin-"
"We do not have a basket!" you slap a hand on your forehead, "I am doomed."
He freezes at your words, debating if that is truly the cause of your distress.
"I am doomed to pick flowers only until my hands are full," you sigh and shake your head. You frown at him and point, "but just over there I see a hundred flowers I wish to bring back home with me."
Erryk's forehead curls but then he realizes you were serious. He finds himself chuckling before sighing in relief.
You scowl, "and you mock me again"
He chuckles louder, placing a hand on his breastplate, "I do not mock! I merely find amusement in such an issue so easily solved."
You scoff, "pray, tell how would you solve my issue, ser knows-a-lot?"
Erryk belly laughs. He shakes his head and offers his hand, "I will hold your flowers for you."
Any trace of offense instantly disappears. You perk and step forward, "oh! I have been blind!"
He tries to take the flowers from you but then he's frozen in place as you suddenly begin tucking in his beard.
"Indeed," you snicker, "blind as a bat."
You are both covered in flowers when you return to the Keep, him more than you, for Erryk's skill in securing flowers in people's hair was not nearly as good as yours. Most of what he had put in your brown hair had fallen when you reached the gates. The rest are threatened off by the wind as he helps you down the horse. His on the other hand—
You chuckle, catching a flower that slipped from your head, placing it by Erryk's ear, "they should call you the knight of flowers, ser."
He bows, "I would be honored to be known as such."
"Oh, gods."
You both turn upon hearing the voice.
Gwayne looks at Erryk as though he was stabbed on the side, then turns to you, "you've victimized the poor man."
You roll your eyes.
"-held him captive and tortured him with pretty things," your twin points a finger as he walks towards you, "no wonder you could not be found. You were doing evil things."
You shove your brother, but he dodges.
He makes a face, "laggardly fellow."
You turn to Erryk then point at your brother, "why do you delay? Seize him at once!"
Gwayne gasps, placing a hand on his chest, "behold: the cruel princess."
Your upper lip curls, "the ugly thing insults your lady," you shoot Erryk a look, "apprehend him!"
Erryk watches the two of you bicker, unsure if he should, in fact, apprehend Ser Gwayne.
When he does not, your brother says again, "behold!" the auburn haired man gestures vaguely, "your cruelty inspires no loyalty from you— aw!"
You snatch your his ear and pull him down. You drag your brother all the way to a crate and force him down, "I'll show you cruel."
"Do not think— AW!" Gwayne clutches his cheek when you slap him.
"Silence or your torture will be more severe," you hiss, promptly placing flowers you still had on hand on his head.
Though Gwayne grumbles the whole time, he makes no attempt to save himself from the proclaimed torture. Very truly, he loathed it so when you made a dolly out of him, but after you sobbed so bitterly when he fled you one instance when you were still children, he could never stomach the thought of attempting such a thing again.
And— he catches the way your lips tug upward, you only ever smiled the way you did now when you were torturing him. Still, he cannot help his scowl when you grin at him to behold your work.
You pinch his cheeks, "my lovely twin."
Gwayne groans and swats your hands away, glaring as he stands, "I abhor you, sister."
You giggle and take his arm, "and I do so love deeply, my brother."
"Unhand me," he says flatly.
"You cannot command a princess, you lowly lord," you snuggle into his arm.
Gwayne turns to Erryk, "retrieve your thing."
Erryk opens his mouth, but then catches the look on your face. He is powerless against your pup-like expression. He clears his throat, "my shift has ended, ser. I will notify my brother at once to see what can be done."
Gwayne's jaw drops.
You throw your head back in a laughter.
He scoffs, turning to you, "how uselessly loyal you've made him."
"What is the meaning of this?"
You three turn. You pull away from your brother upon seeing Daemon. He is covered in dirt, and blood, and anger.
He glares at you, "why is it I find you here twice, wife?" He scrutinizes the flowers on Erryk's beard and hair, then quips harshly as he turns to your brother, "should you not be waiting on me?"
"Why do you think I am here?" you mutter, not missing a beat. You walk over to him, and he tries to intimidate you with his expression.
Gwayne and Erryk are ready to act but then Daemon's face falters when you grab your skirt and try to wipe some of the dirt off his face.
The truth, of course, is that you were not waiting on your husband; him finding you here was simply a coincidence, but the genuine concern that clouds your features makes it the lie indistinguishable.
He is so wholly bewildered by your gentle touch, he is unable to react.
You release your skirt and wipe his cheek with your long sleeve, "I shall have a bath drawn for you." You take his hand, "come, I-"
He pulls out of your grasp.
You expect him to lash out on you. He does not.
"I have a council meeting to attend."
A line forms between your brows when catch the blood on his armor, "but you are hurt."
Daemon is stoic. He stares at the lone flower by your ear, "it is not mine."
You release a soft breath and nod. A gust of wind makes you aware of the bud by your temple. You pull the flower out of your hair and stare at it for a moment. You show it to Daemon, who spares but a moment's glance at it. He involuntarily pulls his head back when you place the flower in his hair.
You are unfazed by the look he gives you. You secure the flower then swipe the dirt on his chin, "I will make sure your bath is finished after your meeting."
It is your turn to be taken aback. You freeze when he catches your wrist before you pull away. "Wait for me," he mumbles.
You raise your brows.
He does not repeat himself.
You nod slowly, "I shall... after having the servants dra-"
"Your princess requires you to accomplish a task for her," Daemon looks past you, looking between Erryk and Gwayne. He grits his teeth, pulling you toward him, "do it."
You look over your shoulder, "please inst-"
"They know what to do, wife," Daemon blocks your vision, "tis I your attentions must be fixed upon."
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