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tlcwrites · 3 years

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By A Nose

Submission for Writer Wednesday 5/12

Summary: If you're going to talk the talk, you better be able to walk the walk. Or, proof Poe Dameron is a terrible loser.

Word Count: 1528

Tags/Warnings: Poe Dameron x Reader, Modern AU. Implied smut but mostly in passing. Some bad words. Poorly edited because as usual I finished this at like 11 and my kids get up at 5 so I need to go to sleep.

Author’s Note: THREE FICS IN A WEEK WHO AM I?

Okay, so I cannot be the only one who saw the photo for this week's Writer Wednesday (thank you once more for hosting, @autumnleaves1991-blog!) and went the direction I did. If I am the only one, well, just further proof my brain is certifiable. Make sure you comment on when you figure out where this fic takes place.

There will also be an accompanying headcanon coming for this probably tomorrow, because there was SO much material I wanted to use but couldn't make fit. Thank you @paper-n-ashes for brainstorming with me and being the best hype-woman ever.

“AAAAHHHHH.”

“WE’RE GONNA DIE.”

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!”

“FINN!!” You smack him. “There are small children here!”

But he’s too busy screaming to pay attention.

On the other side of you, Kaydel looks decidedly green. She lets out a pained moan as your vehicle makes a particularly hard turn. “I’ve got a bad feeling about this…”

You pat her knee as you fly through a kitchy town. “Hang in there, honey. It’s almost over.”

The village elder’s well wishes still ringing in your ears, you pull up next to another idling transport. From the driver’s seat, your boyfriend winks at you.

“You’re going down, Dameron!” you holler at him.

He makes the universal ‘I’m watching you’ gesture. “Eat my dust, losers!”

Finn yells back something that has you smacking him again, shooting an apologetic glance to the second row of Poe’s transport, where Snap and Karé are sitting with their daughter Nora. Snap’s hands fly to cover Nora’s ears while Karé laughs heartily.

Next to Poe, Rey holds her thumb and forefinger up to her forehead in an ‘L’ shape. “Second place is the first to lose!”

Before any more trash talking can occur, you see a flash of red out of the corner of your eye and then both vehicles take off, bursting out of the dark into blinding sunlight.

You both fly over the rusty terrain, neck and neck as you navigate under rocky overpasses and around hairpin turns. From the second row of your car, you can hear Maz lobbing profanities at Chewie in the other ride. He’s yelling back in his native tongue (which you still only understand half of). Beside Maz, Leia and Han are both laughing like kids.

A shriek of joy erupts from you as you fly over a series of hills, the momentary weightlessness thrilling. Finn has both hands in the air, while Kaydel grips the safety handle with white knuckles.

Finally, you come out of a turn to see a sharp drop. You look to Poe, who grins back at you, his vehicle slightly ahead of yours. Damnit, you HATE losing to him. He’s the worst winner.

At the last moment, your ride leaps ahead, crossing under the checkered banner by a nose. The passengers of your car cheer and high-five in victory, while Poe’s passengers groan in good-natured defeat.

As you roll through the red-lit cavern, you laugh as you catch sight of Poe’s face. He’s a terrible winner, but he’s an even worse loser. Even if his loss comes at the hands of an algorithm.

Anthropomorphic cars wave you off as both vehicles enter the unloading zone. On the other side of the platform, Chewie is lifting Rey out of the front seat as she pretends to collapse in agonized failure, her laughter completely destroying the illusion. You accept Finn’s hand as he helps you up, both of you turning to support Kaydel as she crawls out of the car.

A ride attendant watches her warily. “Does she need assistance?” he asks Han.

Han waves him off, wrapping an arm around his wife’s shoulders as Maz and Chewie beeline for the ride photos. “She’ll be fine. No protein spills here.” At the cast member’s astonished look, the charming rogue gives his trademark grin. “Ain’t my first rodeo, kid.” As he and Leia stroll past you towards the exit, he catches your eye and winks. “That, and they haven’t changed the lingo since the 70’s.”

Laughing, you rub Kaydel’s back as Rey swaps places with Finn and helps bracket your green-tinged friend. “Let’s get you some water, yeah?”

Kaydel manages a slight nod, and the three of you make your way towards the exit.

Behind you, you can hear Poe and Finn bickering, as they’re wont to do.

“It’s a ride, dude,” Finn is saying, the exasperation clear in his tone.

“It’s physics, dude,” Poe shoots back. “There’s NO way the car on the outside of the turn would be able to finish first.”

Worst. Loser. Ever.

Your rag-tag alliance eventually makes it out of the exit tunnel. Ben’s waiting across the walkway, those ridiculously long arms crossed over his chest as he leans against the guard rail and steadily ignores whatever Armitage is ranting about.

On the bench next to them, Rose perks up, a smirk crossing her pretty face as she sees Poe’s expression. “Well, I don’t need to ask who won.”

“Don’t wanna talk about it,” the most-competitive-pilot-in-the-galaxy grumbles back, adjusting his backpack. You help Kaydel to a bench, where she quickly curls up.

Rey rolls her eyes as she forces her way into the circle of Ben’s arms. “It’s not like any of us could have actually controlled the outcome, you noodle.”

“Not without some kind of magic,” Ben intones dryly, resting his chin on his girlfriend’s head.

“How cool would that be, though?” Rey’s getting her Down-The-Wormhole-We-Go eyes. You and Rose exchange a Look™️ as she starts gesturing wildly with her hands. “Like, imagine if you could just look at something like rocks and, like, make them fly. Or make someone do whatever you wanted them to do. OH!” She looks up at Ben with a slightly manic expression. “Lightning bolts from your fingers!!”

Well-used to these kinds of rambles, Ben gently captures her hands and wraps her into a hug that doubles as a straight jacket. “No more SyFy channel before bed.”

Rose slides her arms around her husband as Finn joins her on the bench. “Did you behave?”

Nora, in all her 6-year-old innocence, giggles. “Mr Finn said a whole lot of swear-jar words.” She casts a critical eye on the young man. “You probably said enough you could buy an Elsa doll.” The ‘for me’ is unsaid, but implied.

Karé rapidly turns her laugh into a cough.

Finn glances down at his wife as Rose smacks him upside the head. “Hey! That tractor thing is terrifying. And Maz said WAY more than I did!”

“Age before beauty, Finnigan,” Maz says haughtily, waving off Finn’s ‘m'name’s not Finnigan, damn it’.

Giggling, you tune out the ridiculousness that is your found family and turn your attention to your still-sulking boy toy. “You know,” you murmur, wrapping your arms around his waist, “you make that face for long enough and it’ll stick that way.”

He huffs. “This is just how my face looks.”

“Uh huh.” Considering yourself quite the expert in his face, having spent countless hours studying every crease and line until you could have drawn him blindfolded, you call bullshit, but say nothing further.

“It is,” he insists.

“Okay,” you agree.

The King of Sarcasm narrows his eyes. “You’re doing that thing.”

You widen your eyes innocently. “What thing?”

“That thing where it sounds like you’re agreeing with me but you’re really telling me I’m a dumbass.”

“What?!” You bring your hand to your chest. “Moi?! I would never.”

He huffs again, but you can see the hint of a smirk starting to break though.

“C’mon, First Runner Up,” you tease. “No sulking in Disneyland. Let me buy you a drink at Trader Sam’s, and then we can sneak off to the Haunted Mansion and make out like teenagers in our Doom Buggy.”

He tilts his head, considering it.

“Or-“ You brush an inky curl off his forehead and stand on your toes until your lips are just about caressing his ear and whisper, “-we could get back in line right now and go again.”

Even before you’ve finished speaking, Poe’s grabbing your hand and hauling you back towards the entrance, tossing a “See you jerks later!” as he pulls you under the Radiator Springs Racers sign. Their laughter echos behind you as he leads the way through the mostly empty line (thank goodness for parade lulls).

As you wait in the queue, only a few dozen people stand between Poe and his (re)shot at victory. You see that competitive gleam in his eyes start to come alive again.

“Hey.” You tug on his tee shirt until he looks at you. “If our car doesn’t win, tonight I’ll do That Thing you love.”

“Babe.” The look he gives you is one of pure torture. “You are killing me here.” He really loves to win. But he really, really loves That Thing. “What about when we come in first?”

You shrug demurely. “Then you wear Those Pants™️ tomorrow.”

Hm. Poe’s always been quick to calculate his odds, and this is quickly turning into a win/win situation. If you lose, he gets That Thing. But Those Pants™️ turn you about feral, and when you’re in that kind of mood- let’s just say Poe still has the scars on his shoulders to prove it.

“Are those terms acceptable, Flight Commander Dameron?” You smile sweetly up at him.

His licentious grin says it all. “Hell yeah.”

For the record, your car does lose a second time. And the next morning, Poe hardly has Those Pants over his ass when you’re ripping them back down his legs and shoving him backwards onto the bed.

Oh, yeah, he thinks to himself. This is better than any dumb kid’s ride.

…doesn’t mean he’s not going to ride it as many times as it takes to win.

A/N: I almost titled this “Tell me you have children without saying you have children”. I am so fucking sick of ‘Lining McQueen’. Yay 4-year-olds.

Thank you for reading; likes and reblogs feed my soul.

#writer wednesday #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron fic #poe dameron fanfiction #poe dameron x gender neutral reader #poe dameron imagine #poe dameron fluff #poe dameron #hot space droid dad #my writing #modern au #star wars fanfiction #star wars fanfic #poe dameron fanfic

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bbangsoonie · 4 years

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tangerine guesthouse

member: haknyeon genre: fluff word count: 2,238 synopsis: on a healing trip to jeju island, you meet a guesthouse owner who goes the extra step to make sure you enjoy your stay.

a/n: happy birthday to our jeju boy, juhaknyeon ! 🍊

After impulsively quitting your job, you packed a suitcase and booked a last minute flight to Jeju Island. You wanted to escape but unfortunately didn’t have enough money for an international flight. So you found yourself flying over on a domestic plane.

Everything about this journey was spontaneous. The money you saved up on the side from your tedious 9-5 job was all spent on this healing trip. With nothing but a camera in your hands, you were determined to finally rest and have fun for once. You hadn’t had the luxury to do so in years.

Before you left Incheon Airport, you reserved a room at a random bed and breakfast you found online. “Tangerine Guesthouse”. It had a cute name.

The taxi dropped you off in front of the place and you cautiously walked in with your bag rolling behind you. You peaked inside the building, unsure if you were supposed to just enter.

“Hello!” a chirpy voice greeted you. Startled, you jumped as you turned around to face the person who nearly gave you a heart attack. Seeing him only made your heart beat faster. He was cute. Extremely cute.

“Are you here to rent a room?” he asked.

“Y-Yes, I made a reservation a couple of hours ago,” you pulled out your phone to show him the details.

“Ah, Y/n! Yes, welcome,” he beamed. “My name is Juhaknyeon but please call me Haknyeon.”

You reached out to shake his hand and were surprised to feel how soft they were.

“Allow me to show you to your room,” he said before guiding you upstairs.

The room was fairly small but cozy. It had everything you needed and made a cute space for photos. After Haknyeon left, you began to unpack.

You heard a knock on the door and mindlessly told your guest to come in. You looked up when they entered, surprised to see another male.

“Hello! I’m Sunwoo and I’m staying in the room next to yours,” he introduced himself. “I just wanted to stop by to say hi and get friendly.”

“Nice to meet you, Sunwoo. I’m Y/n,” you smiled.

“The other guests and I are gathering this evening to just chat over beer. Would you like to join us as well? We’d love to have you,” he said.

On a normal occasion, the introvert in you would have declined. However, you were on a healing trip and resolute about trying new things. So you happily accepted the invitation and promised to meet them in the yard at 7.

You had about four hours until then and decided to kill time by exploring the neighborhood. You enjoyed the change in scenery and the fresh air that Seoul could not offer.

You found yourself alone at a nearby beach and embraced the solitude. There were no managers yelling at you about deadlines or coworkers passive aggressively criticizing your work here. It was just you and the roaring waves. Grabbing your camera, you took a few shots of the salty sea. Perhaps you would return to your hobby and pursue photography.

You allowed yourself to consider it as an option as you headed back to the streets to look for a restaurant. You settled for the closest one and were satisfied with your choice when you took a bite of their seafood ramen.

You roamed around a bit more after the meal. You came across a souvenir shop and ended up spending a lot of time—and money—there. You certainly had a thing for cliche souvenirs. Keychains, magnets, mugs. You loved them all.

You came back to the lodging with a bag full of trinkets you knew you would keep instead of gifting. The retail therapy added a bounce in your walk as you climbed up the stairs. You organized them accordingly as you happily hummed.

You looked at the clock and saw that it was time to convene with the rest of the boarders. You threw on a cardigan before going back outside.

Haknyeon was by the grill flipping meat and Sunwoo was busy taking out the drinks from the fridge. You awkwardly stood around, not knowing where to go.

“Take a seat wherever you want,” Sunwoo called out.

Finding an empty spot, you sat down and looked around. The yard was decorated nicely to bring a nice ambiance.

“Hi, I’m Eric and this is Hyunjoon,” the guy next to you grinned.

You exchanged greetings with the two and introduced yourself. You had to admit it was nice to meet such amiable people.

The night went by with the five of you conversing over black pig samgyupsal and alcohol. Haknyeon was a big foodie, Sunwoo was a big tease, Eric was a big dork, and Hyunjoon was a big sports enthusiast. Hyunjoon came to Jeju to enjoy horseback riding and planned on dragging Sunwoo and Eric along.

“If you guys are down for some physical activity, I can destroy you in badminton,” Haknyeon suggested.

“Loser has to down a bottle of soju. Each,” Eric laughed evilly.

To make the teams fair, you were paired up with Haknyeon to play against the other three. He definitely proved his worth as the ace, easily winning 21-12. Sunwoo let out a scream, blaming Eric for his punishment suggestion. The latter tried to run away but was caught by Hyunjoon who handed him a bottle.

They all retreated to their rooms after fulfilling their penalty, leaving you and Haknyeon to clean up. The work was done relatively quickly and you made it back to your bed before midnight.

The next morning, you came out of your room clutching your Ryan doll that doubled as a pillow. You mumbled a “good morning” to Haknyeon who was preparing breakfast and chuckled at your appearance.

“Cute,” he commented on your tastes. You replied with a yawn, still not fully awake.

“The guys are probably gonna be hungover so I’m making some soup. I hope that’s okay with you,” he said.

He rolled up his sleeves before washing his hands. He then grabbed a knife and began cutting the vegetables. Your nose wrinkled at the sight of onions. You had forgotten to mention how picky you were. It was an embarrassing conversation to have as an adult. You had to explain how your childish tastebuds never matured while people let out an incredulous gasp. It was something you had to disclose every time you ate with someone new and it was honestly pretty tiring. People didn’t understand that you didn’t choose to be picky. Your tongue just refused the tastes of a lot of foods. It was more inconvenient for you than anyone else.

Nevertheless, you were excited to try the food made by the self proclaimed food connoisseur. You would just have to pick out the vegetables later.

The two of you decided to just eat together after the guys refused to wake up before noon. Haknyeon took a seat in front of you after he set the table and you thanked him.

To your relief, he didn’t seem so shocked by your childlike palate. He let the conversation end by saying something about respecting other people’s preferences.

Noticing your hair falling in front of your face, he got up to go look for something. He returned with a hair tie which he offered to you. It was just a courteous gesture but it still made you giddy regardless. The hair tie was probably just a spare left by previous guests but to you, it was a token. Something to remember him by.

“So, Y/n, what brings you to Jeju?” he questioned.

You’ve heard your name before many times in your life. Obviously. But hearing it from his voice felt different. The way your name rolled off his tongue made your heart skip a beat.

“Oh you know, just the typical “I wanted to get away from the city” trope,” you hummed.

“Classic,” he nodded.

After breakfast, Haknyeon volunteered to be your tour guide for the day. He showed you his favorite places in town and even drove further out to take you to the photo exhibition you wanted to see. You had a blast, taking a bunch of pictures to commemorate your trip.

When he asked why you used such a fancy camera and why you took photos of everything, you simply shrugged in response. Truthfully, you didn’t know why either.

For lunch, he brought you to a sashimi place where you bonded over a large platter of raw fish. Both the view and quality of the restaurant were amazing. And your company too, of course.

“Do your guests always get such personalized treatment?” you asked, raising a brow.

“Honestly? No,” he laughed. “I’m not that great of a host. Nor do I have the time and money to.”

“Then what’s all this? Today?”

“Hmm… I’m not quite sure.”

You left it at that and let him take you to an aquarium. Haknyeon had more fun watching you than looking at the animals. You were like a little kid in a candy store. Everything was fascinating to you.

The last time you visited an aquarium was for a field trip when you were in elementary school. It felt like you were going back to your childhood roots.

You made it back to the guesthouse in time for dinner. This time, you insisted on cooking. With the ingredients left in the fridge, you made kimchi fried rice. The smell lured the others down to join you two in the kitchen.

The rest of the night was rather uneventful, which you appreciated. You got to relish time just passing by. It was exactly what you came to Jeju for.

Back in your room, you connected your camera to your laptop to browse through the photos. Looking at them, you noticed that Haknyeon was in half of them.

“Maybe it was him I wanted to save in my memory,” you whispered under your breath.

Another week went by and you wished time would flow slower. Hyunjoon was the first to leave the guesthouse and it already felt a lot emptier without him. You hated goodbyes. You hated how all good things had to eventually come to an end.

The feeling made you cherish the remaining time you had left on the island. You spent your evenings with the guys and frequently chatted in the group chat with all five of you in it. You never expected to grow so fond of strangers you barely got to know. Haknyeon, in particular, had a special place in your heart.

He often took you out on what you liked to believe were dates. Under the guise of being your tour guide, he showed you the hidden parts of his hometown. Though he was slightly disappointed that your favorite thing from all the menus you’ve tried was the black sesame frappuccino from Starbucks.

“Really? Of all the things you’ve eaten and drank, you choose something from a chain store?” he had whined.

“Hey, they only have it here. I can’t get it anywhere else,” you defended.

He made it his mission to find you something local that would triumph over your love for the Starbucks drink. A close second was the makgeolli made and sold only in Jeju.

By the time Sunwoo and Eric left, you and Haknyeon had gotten extremely close. With him, it was so easy to open up and just be you. You practically lived in his room. You slept over after late night movies and cuddles.

Neither of you ever verbally defined your relationship. You were both somewhat afraid to ask what exactly you two were. Instead, you focused on each other.

“So you’re picking up photography again?” he asked with your head resting on his chest. The two of you were lazing around on the couch with a random show on for background noise.

“Possibly. It was always an interest of mine. I thought I’d get to have it as a side-job once I started working full time but I never got around to it. Trying to make a living was a lot harder than I thought it’d be,” you revealed.

“You definitely have the talent. I think you should take the opportunity and go for it,” he encouraged.

The idea lingered on your mind as the second week flew by. Your passion for photography had been pushed to the side as you struggled as a paycheck worker. You missed taking up odd gigs for extra cash in college.

On your last night at the guesthouse, you paused in the middle of dinner to stare at Haknyeon. The more time you spent with him, the more you didn’t want to leave. Changing your career path because of a guy was crazy. Moving to an island because of said guy that you only met two weeks ago was even crazier. But he inspired you to do what your heart desires. And that included being with him.

“What if I moved here to start freelancing? Publish that photography book I always dreamed of. Maybe set up my own studio one day,” you pondered aloud.

That proposition had many implications about the relationship between you two. He took a moment to carefully contemplate over it. Your heart pounded waiting for his response.

“If that’s what you truly want to do, I think that’d be nice,” he smiled, making your own face light up.

a/n: wow i was reminiscing my own time at jeju while writing this 🥺 and now, with this fic, i have officially written for all tbz members! :)

#the boyz #haknyeon #the boyz haknyeon #tbz #the boyz fluff #haknyeon fluff #the boyz haknyeon fluff #tbz haknyeon fluff #the boyz fic #the boyz scenarios #the boyz imagines #tbz fic #tbz scenarios #tbz imagines #haknyeon fic #haknyeon scenarios #haknyeon imagines

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drariellevalentine · 4 years

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Medically Inevitable

Chapter 12- Obscene Occasions

Characters:- Arielle Valentine, Ethan Ramsey, Liam Mercado, Sienna Trinh, Elijah Greene, Jackie Varma, Landry Olsen, Rafael Aveiro, Kyra Santana, Phoebe Reznik & Danny Cardinal

Pairings:- Arielle Valentine x Ethan Ramsey, Sienna Trinh x Danny Cardinal, Elijah Greene x Phoebe Reznik

Warnings:- Alcohol, cursing, mentions of the infamous WAP (no lyrics)

You’re standing in a sound control booth, ready to flip on a switch. A switch that will blast WAP from the speakers of none other than America’s most posh salon for old ladies. “How did I even get here?!”, you ask yourself. A few hours before…

“Let’s get this party started!”, Kyra shouts as everyone cheers.

“What are we doing first?”, you ask.

Bryce and Elijah share a devilish smirk.

“Uh oh…”, Jackie says.

“We thought it would be fun to see everyone play Twister in fancy outfits.”, Bryce says.

“Bryce! Was this your idea?!”, Sienna shouts. Bryce flashes her a grin.

“I’ll spin the wheel!”, Elijah says as Bryce spreads out a humongous Twister map.

“Wow, this is huge!”, Phoebe says.

“Yep! Okay, so I’ve entered everyone’s names on here. First, 5 people will play. Then the other five will. No exceptions!”, Bryce shouts. “...and the names are here! Drumroll, please!... Kyra! Phoebe! Me! Rafael! Arielle!”

“Looks like ‘birthday girl’ escaped.”, Landry says. Jackie flashes him a warning.

“Does everyone know how to play?”, Elijah asks. All five of you nod as you line up by the mat as you slip off your footwear. “Awesome! First is Kyra!” Kyra places her left hand and foot on the mat, as per the color. Phoebe, Bryce, and Raf place their right hand and left foot on the mat according to the color on their turn When it’s your turn, the mat’s already almost covered.

“Damn! This went fast!”, Jackie says. Elijah holds out the spinner as you spin it.

“Left foot on blue, right hand on red!” You look at the mat, seeing that you can either do a backbend over Bryce or put one hand over Phoebe and a leg under Raf.

“You can’t be serious!”, you shout as everyone laughs. You place your leg on blue and after steadying your legs, you bend your back and place your hand on the red.

“Y’know, when I said you could be on top of me, this is not what I meant.”, Bryce says.

You roll your eyes, “Oh shut up!” After the second round, everyone’s in a huge twisted mess, your back still over Bryce but your feet are under Raf and one of your hands is now twined with Kyra’s.

“I never thought I would say this, but this is entertaining!”, Jackie says.

“Yeah, for you!”, you shout back.

“Okay, I’m out!”, Phoebe says as she wiggles her way out of the twisted jumble.

“Damn! This is hard!”, Bryce says.

“I know right! My back hurts!”, you reply.

“I meant for you.”, Bryce says smirking. You groan.

“It is, but both of you are doing great!”, Raf says. You smack your forehead with your free hand.

“Raf, you do realize he’s trash-talking us right?”, you say.

“Yeah, I know...aand I’m out!”, Raf slides out from the mat.

“Me too. I can’t risk breaking my back.”, says Phoebe. You and Bryce are the only ones left.

“Okay! Bryce’s turn.” Elijah spins the wheel which lands on right-hand red. Bryce chooses the exact spot to place his hand that makes you arch your back even more.

“Bryce! You can’t expect to hold this for much longer!”

He smirks. “Then quit.”

“Damn, you two are still going!”, Elijah says as he spins the wheel. “Lucky Arielle gets to take off her foot!” You cheer. “You didn’t expect me to not return the favor.”, you reply with a smirk. Carefully keeping your hand on their respective colors, you slide under Bryce making him arch his back...a lot. You push him more until he gives up.

“And...the winner is Arielle!”

“Okay, I’m done! I don’t need surgery when I’m already deep in debt!”, Bryce says as he gets up. You plop down on the mat as Si comes to help you up.

“You know, the last thing I thought yoga would help with was playing Twister! Speaking of...bow down to the Twister champion!”

“Okay, Okay! Now it’s Landry, Jackie, Sienna, and Danny! It’s a close tie but Sienna ends up winning.

“That isn’t fair! Sienna’s tiny!”, Jackie protests.

“Ha! I still win!”, Sienna says.

“That’s enough of Twister! The next stop is shots people!”

Bryce leads everyone to the open bar and as everyone takes a seat on a barstool, he slides behind the counter. “What will it be folks?”, he asks with a southern accent.

Jackie groans playfully as Sienna perks up, “This is Jackie’s birthday, so that means…”

“Tequila from start to finish!”, Kyra finishes. Bryce places multiple shot glasses and pours tequila in each of them.

“Okay, on the count of three. 1...2...3!” You throw back the shot and slam your glass on the counter, the tequila slightly burning your throat.

“Ooh! That’s strong!”, Danny says.

“Expect nothing else from Jackie.”, Landry replies.

“Again!” After multiple rounds of shots, you all are now tipsy and on water. “Ookay Scalpel Jockey, what’s next?”, you ask.

“Well it isn’t a party without truth or dare, but I have a better idea.”, Bryce replies with a huge grin.

“Oh no...don’t tell me that my birthday present is being arrested for streaking!”

“Oh trust me, it’s much worse than that.”, Elijah replies.

“Arielle, what did you drag me into?”, Raf asks. You shrug.

“Okay, for this game, we’ll need to go to the mall. Everyone, to the car!” After a short ride in a cramped car and with the story of how you and Bryce were banned from a different mall, you reach the mall.

“Okay, so we split up into two teams, girls and boys, and basically we play hide and seek. But, the losers have to do a dare of the winners’ choice.”

“Okay people, it’s official! We are definitely going to be in jail by the end of this!”, you shout as everyone laughs.

“Bryce, rules?”, Sienna asks.

“Ok, so we’ll make up the rules as we go!”, Bryce says.

“Ooh! This sounds fun! I’m in!”, Kyra says.

“You know what, me too.”, you reply.

“What the hell, I guess.”, Jackie replies. Everyone else agrees.

“Okay, coin toss.” Elijah picks out a nickel from his wallet. “Ladies first, heads or tails?”

“Heads.”, Phoebe perks up. Elijah raises an eyebrow.

“Cause we’re the only one who actually has them.”, Jackie replies without batting an eyelash.

“Ooh! Nice!”, Kyra high-fives Jackie as Elijah flips the coin to reveal...tails!

“Ha! Karma’s a bitch, ain’t it!“, Bryce replies with his horrible southern drawl.

”So, what will it be boys?”, Phoebe asks. The boys make a big show of huddling and discussing, returning 5 minutes later.

”We have decided that we will seek.”, Raf announces.

”Okay...so we can hide anywhere we want?”, you ask.

”Yeah, but only on mall premises.”, Elijah says.

”We’ll give you guys all 10 minutes to hide, we’ll stay here. You guys can hide in groups or single, your choice.”, Danny says.

”Wait, you guys will find us sooner or later. You’re just setting us up!”, Jackie says.

”Okay then, what if we only get 20 minutes?”

”10.”, Kyra counters.

”We’ll go with 15. Does everyone have their phones on them?”, Raf asks.

Everyone nods. ”Then prepare to eat our dust!”, Bryce smirks. You roll your eyes.

”Oh please, we’ll see about that.”, Kyra says.

”Ok, I'm starting the timer in 3...2…1!” As Danny starts the timer, all of you rush inside the mall.

”I think we should all hide in the same place. It’ll lessen the chance of them finding us.”, you say.

”You're right. But where do we hide?”, Phoebe asks.

”Quick! We already lost a minute!”, Sienna shouts as she looks at the timer on her phone.

”Let’s check the mall directory for some inspiration. We need someplace that no man would never enter.”, Jackie replies as she ushers you all to the directory.

You look at the directory. ”What about the spa?”, Sienna asks.

”No, that won't work. We can't possibly hide there.”, Kyra says.

You look at the list of stores. Your eyes widen as you come across a store that would be perfect.

”What is it, Arielle?”, Sienna asks.

”What about Victoria’s Secret?! The boys wouldn't dare come in there!”, you reply, your voice rising with excitement. Their eyes and smiles widen.

”Oh my God! That’s an amazing idea!”, Kyra says.

”Quick! Which floor is it on?”, Phoebe asks. You scan the directory once again.

”It’s on the sixth floor! Let's go!” After several flights of steps, you reach the sixth floor and rush into Victoria's Secret.

”Everyone just split up and act like your browsing through lingerie. I'll keep an eye on the storefront to see if the boys come searching this way. Keep your phone on.” As per your instructions, everyone splits up and you turn to a section of lace-up bras at the very front of the store.

It’s been almost 5 minutes and there’s no sign of the boys. You rush towards the back of the store as you hear Sienna shout, ”There are only 30 more seconds! We won!”

”We did it!”, You shout.

”Ooh, what do you think we should give the boys as a dare?”, Kyra asks.

”That won't be needed.” You whip around to find the whole entourage of boys right in the middle of the store.

”Surprise! We thought you would be here.”, Bryce says. You notice all the staff starting at the group of boys.

”...you’ve got to be kidding me.”, you say.

“Unfortunately not! The timer ended after we found you!”, Elijah says.

”Are you all just going to stand here?..” You turn around to see one of the employees giving you a judgemental look.

”Okay, we’re going! No need to be so judgy!”, Bryce replies as you all file out of the store.

”So much for our dare…”, Sienna says.

You notice Bryce with an extremely huge grin on his face. ”Time for your dare, lovely ladies!”

“Spit it out, Bryce.”, Jackie says. Ignoring her, he steps forward and whispers the dare into your ear. All the girls get alarmed, noticing your wide-eyed and flushed face.

”...you’re not serious.”, you reply unbelievably. He only grins.

”Just spit out Arielle! What's the dare?!” Unable to say anything, Bryce happily steps forward and whispers the dare into everyone's ears. One by one, every girl’s eyes widen.

”You can't be serious Bryce.”, Krya says. He shrugs.

”Bryce, whatever dare you gave them, maybe you should lighten it up? Elijah says.

”Wait? You guys don't know what the dare is?”, you ask. They shake their head.

”Bryce won't tell us.”, Raf replies. A few minutes later, you're standing in front of Nail, Hair and Beauty, a place which is known for where all the old ladies get their nails and hair done. You tentatively enter the store with all the girls, pretending to browse their nail polish collection. You see Bryce pointing to a closed door, across from the entrance.

”That must be the entrance. We’ll change the song and rush out before anyone sees us.”, you say.

”Why did we even agree to this?”, Kyra asks.

”Look on the bright side! At least we’ll have a great story to tell later at parties!”, Sienna says.

”You're the only person who would look at the bright side, Sienna.”, you reply.

Making sure no one sees you, all five of you manage to sneak into the closet miraculously without anyone noticing. You notice the sound system, a list of soothing piano melodies lined up to play over the speakers.

”Who’s flipping the switch?”, you ask. No one makes a move. You groan.

”Fine! I'll do it. At least before someone notices, we’re here.” You tentatively step up and familiarize yourself with the sound system. Making sure not to disturb anything else, you carefully search up WAP, hoping it's not there but yet it's there.

”They have the damn song. Sorry ladies, but at least if you get a heart attack, we have seven doctors here.” You signal to the girls, 5...4...3...2...1! You click the button as you and the girls rush out of the closet and the salon without anyone noticing.

Bryce looks at you. ”It's done. I've queued at full volume.”, you reply after catching your breath.

”What the hell are you guys even talking about?”, Elijah asks. Just then, the familiar bass beat and interesting lyrics play. All of the girls cringe as the boys’ faces morph into pure utter shock. Bryce just stands there with a smirk on his face. You can hear the pure chaos and shouting from the salon, the song attracting people’s attention.

”OH MY!”

”WHAT IS THIS?!”

“TURN IT OFF!”

”THIS ISN’T RELAXING!!”

”YOU KNOW, MY GRANDSON LISTENS TO THIS!”

“HEY, MINE TOO!”

“WE MUST BE THE COOL GRANDMA’S!”

”TURN THE DAMN SONG OFF!”

”WHAT KIND OF MUSIC IS THIS?!”

“TURN THE FUCKING SONG OFF KATE!”

“I WOULD, BUT I CAN’T!”

All of you just stand there as Bryce doubles over in laughter. Soon the damn song is turned off.

“...I can’t believe we just did that.”

“Me either.”

“Hey! All of you!” You all whip around and see one of the store employees glaring at you.

“Time to go!” Bryce says as he spins around and runs to the stairs. You all follow suit as Phoebe helps Elijah escape through the elevator, sprinting down the stairs until you reach your car.

“Bryce! You idiot!”, Jackie exclaims.

“My feet hurt!”, Sienna says.

“Nice job girls.” Just then your phone rings, you see it’s Liam. You answer it, placing it on the speaker as you start the car.

“Hey, Liam.”

“Where are you? And why are you so out of breath?”

“Long story. We’ll be back in 15 along with a huge appetite.”

“I look forward to that story of yours.” All of you laugh and joke about the crazy dare as you drive back.

General PoV:-

Soon Arielle and her friends are seated at the huge dinner table, waiting for their lavish dinner.

“So, the first course will be out in 15 minutes. Followed by another main course and lastly a special dessert course.”, Liam says. “I have a list of different main courses according to dietary restrictions, everyone just pick out your favorite course.” After everyone chooses, you all start discussing your favorite restaurants when Bryce perks up. ”Guys, let's play a game?"

"What do you have in mind Lahela?" Jackie asks making Bryce grin.

"Truth or truth!" Bryce answers excitedly.

"It's called truth or dare, meathead," Jackie rolls her eyes.

"No, it's called 'truth or truth', " Bryce corrects Jackie. "There's no option for a dare at all. Only truth."

"Ooh!" Sienna makes an exciting sound, "Think how many dirty secrets or embarrassing stories of each other we'll be able to know! I'm in."

Bryce's grin becomes broader," That's the spirit!"

One by one they all agree to it except one. All the heads turn to Jackie and she grimaces, "Fine! I'm in too."

Bryce and Sienna squeal excitedly, making the rest of you smile. "But before we start I have something to show," Sienna says while pulling out her phone. She shows everyone an old picture of Landry, drunk and clad in a giraffe onesie. Landry’s face goes red as everyone laughs. Before anyone can tease him any more, Landry diverts the topic, " How do you play the game?"

"Just like truth or dare but without any dare," he explained before looking around, "We'd need a bottle for spinning."

"I'll go and bring one," Raf says and moves to the bar. Bryce wolf whistles soon after. As Arielle follows his gaze she finds Rafael smiling in a shy but flirty manner with the bartender. The bar isn’t much far from their table so once the bartender moves inside Bryce tries to grab Rafael's attention and when Raf looks back, Bryce winks, and Rafael shyly smiles.

He comes back after a few minutes with an almost empty bottle. Placing it on the table he asks, "Who wants to go first?"

"Since you are the one to bring it, so why don't you go first?" Sienna says.

"No, no," Rafael says hesitantly," It’s Bryce's idea. He should go first."

"Oh, no bro. You start," Bryce insists. They keep fighting about it when Jackie interrupts their fight. Grabbing the bottle she yells so that the guys fighting would stop, "I'll go first."

Jackie spins the bottle and it lands on Sienna. you can see her smirking for a second before she switches back to her poker face. "What's the deal between you and Danny?" She asks as sienna’s face becomes lightly flushed

"Wh- I- We are friends, Jackie. " Sienna somehow managed to say trying her level best not to blush. Everyone's busy teasing her when Arielle notices a slight blush that crept on her cheeks and a well-hidden smile on her face. Arielle smiles to herself understanding what exactly is going on between the two. And before the gang spoils it, you try to divert the topic.

"Stop it guys.”, Arielle smiles at Sienna, "Leave her alone. She said they’re just friends."

"Ugh...You’re no fun Arielle.”, Bryce pretends to be disappointed but fails miserably.

Kyra spins the bottle next, which stops at Rafael. Kyra pretends to think for a minute before asking her question. Kyra smirks as she asks, " Who's your crush in this room?"

Rafael blushes at the question and looks in the direction of the bar, where the female bartender is mixing up some drinks. He looks at her with a smile before turning back with a shy smile. He shakes his head, answering Kyra's question but you all already know the answer.

After Kyra, it's Bryce's turn. Bryce spins the bottle more enthusiastically than others. After spinning a few rounds it stops at Arielle. Bryce smirks before asking, "What's your relationship with Liam?" The mischievous glint in his eyes is visible.

"He's my best friend, Bryce.” Arielle reply with a roll of her eyes.

"Sureeee!" Bryce grins again, "Now spill the beans."

"I already said it already, Bryce.", Arielle says. , "He's my best friend since middle school."

"C'mon Arielle, you can tell us. It’s not like we’re going to announce it to the world," Jackie smirks.

Sienna looks at Arielle as they share a look. She decides to help her out. "Guys stop teasing her."

"You two should stop saving each other and let us have fun instead.”, Jackie says. You mouth a thank you to Si.

“My turn.” Elijah spins the bottle and again it lands on Arielle. “Now Bryce, you’ve got to know how to ask the right questions.” He turns to Arielle, “...Have you ever kissed Liam?” Arielle groans as Bryce and Jackie smile.

“Ooh, this is going to be good.”, Jackie grins.

“...I have. Not romantically or anything! It was a dare in 9th grade and people thought it was fun to make best friends kiss.”, Arielle reluctantly replies, quickly comes to her defense. Nevertheless, everyone teases her until Arielle tells them that he’s engaged and a soon-to-be dad.

“Okay, okay! We’ll stop.”

Not wanting to get back to the previous topic, Arielle spins the bottle. It stops at Phoebe. She smiles mischievously knowing exactly what to ask.

“So Phoebe...who would you go on a date with here?” Simultaneously, Phoebe and Elijah both blush as their eyes accidentally lock.

“Ooh, I think we already know the answer…”, Jackie says. But before Arielle can tease them anymore, a delicious mouthwatering scent interrupts her.

“Dinner is served. Or at least the first course.”, Liam says. Plates of bruschetta, glasses of wine, and different bread baskets are set in front of the gang.

“Oh wow…

“This smells amazing!”

“You’re right about that!”

“I hope everything is to your liking. I’ll be back in 20 minutes with your main courses.”, Liam says.

Everyone digs in, enjoying the peace for a few minutes until Kyra pipes up, “So I’ve been meaning to ask. How did you guys even find us?!”

“So here’s how it started...”

Bryce’s PoV (a few hours back):-

”Guys, I know this hurts but those girls are all smart-asses and we’re never going to find them cause they’re going to hide in some place that we won’t step foot in.”, you say.

“Then why did you ask us to play the game?”, Raf asks.

“Cause if we find that place, we’ll be able to give them a dare.”, you reply.

“We only have 10 minutes.”, Danny says.

“What if we look up all the stores and see which ones fit our category?”, Elijah says.

“Great idea dude!”, you reply as he pulls up the mall’s list of stores on his phone.

“Hmm, what about the spa? Or the nail salon?”, Danny asks as he looks over the list.

“Those should be good places.”, Elijah says.

“How much time left is there?”, Raf asks.

“There’s still 3 minutes.”, you reply.

“Meanwhile, check out which floor they’re on. We don’t want to waste time searching.”, Landry says

“Got it, there’s a spa on the ground floor a little towards the escalator and the salon’s on the fifth floor towards the back of the mall.”, Elijah says.

“Great, 10 minutes are over. Let’s go boys.”, you say as you rush to the mall.

Soon you and the boys are split into two groups, Elijah, Danny and Landry go to the spa while you and Rafael are searching Sephora’s aisles for any sign of the girls.

“Remind me again why we’re here Raf?”, you ask.

“I mean, girls always spend hours at Sephora. And I’ve never stepped foot in one so…”, he replies.

“You’re right about that. I mean did you see the looks of the employees when we actually started to ‘browse products’?!”, you add laughing.

“Damn it! They’re not here!”, you say.

“The others didn’t have any luck either.”, Raf says as he flashes the text in front of you.

“Uhh...okay. Tell them to meet us on the fifth floor.”, you say as you rush to the escalator. After a very quick ride on the escalator (consisting of parents shouting at you for running) you meet the guys at the top.

“No sign of the girls, Bryce. They have to be in the salon.”, Elijah says.

“Then let’s go.” After a thorough search of the store along with scoldings from rude women, you’re finally kicked out by a store employee.

“I don’t want to see you five ever again. Or else I’m complaining!”, she says as she drags you out.”

“Now what are we going to do?”, Elijah asks.

“I’m not doing a dare!”, Landry says.

“Guys think! Where else would the girls hide?”, you ask.

“I don’t know, these are the only stores I can think of.”, Raf says. You look around in exasperation when a certain pink striped bag catches your attention. Taking a few steps back, you look around the mall until you spot the damn store. The boys notice your look. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”, you ask. Their faces all have surprised looks.

“Of course! That’s the only place they would hide!”

You all run to the sixth floor when suddenly Landry stops you all. “Look, Arielle’s standing there!”

“Of course Elle has some plan.”, you think.

“We need to sneak up on them.”, Danny says.

“But how? Arielle definitely will see us.”, Raf says.

“There’s only one more minute left! We’ve got to do this now!”, Landry exclaims.

“That’s it! I bet that Ari will go inside when there’s only a little time left. We’ll have to sneak up on them then.”, Elijah excitedly says.

“Damn Elijah, I like your idea even better. The girls will think that they’ve won.”, you say.

“What about the dare?”, Raf asks.

You smirk deviously. “I’ll tell you when the time comes. Now let’s go give those girls a heart attack.”

Arielle’s PoV:-

“Damn, that was some smart-ass thinking.”, you say.

“Although it might have hurt Bryce’s ego to call us all smart-asses.”, Kyra jokes.

“Not might. It definitely would have hurt!”, Jackie says as you all erupt into laughter.

“What would have hurt?” You turn around to see Liam placing everyone’s pick in front of them.

“It’s a long story.”, you reply with a smile.

”Well, I look forward to hearing it. But I have a cake to decorate.”, he says winking at Jackie.

“I still don’t believe you, Arielle. Like not even a middle school crush?”, Bryce says as he takes a bite.

“Ugh...why are you so annoying!”, you playfully hit him.

“Okay, now all of you be quiet. Food like this deserves all the attention.”, Sienna says. Everyone only nods as they finish off their plates. Another 30 minutes later, you all are stuffed and talking about being stuffed.

“Ohh my god, I’m sooo full…”, you say.

“Seconded.”, Bryce says.

“Yep, Me too.”, Elijah says.

“Well, that’s too bad. I make a mean cake.” Liam says as he brings a huge three-tiered cake with a bunch of candles.

“Ahh! Look at all those cute fondant decorations!”, Sienna chirps.

“Pink?”, Jackie asks.

“Trust me, you’ll like it.”, Liam says with a smirk. He hands you the candles as he sets the plates and serving tools down then heads back.

“Aand...that’s the last one!”, Phoebe says as she places the candle in the frosting.

“Wait, Wait, Wait! We need to take a picture.”, Danny says. He and Sienna quickly position everyone for the photo as Bryce sets up a table for the camera. You, Kyra, Sienna, and Phoebe stand in the front as the boys stand in the back. Jackie sits in the middle on a stool.

“Guys, are you ready? I’ve only set the camera for thirty seconds!” Bryce says.

“Okay, 3...2...1!” Bryce quickly runs towards you and squeezes behind you. All of you pose as the camera flashes after a few seconds. You all rush to check it to find it perfect.

“...I think that’s the first time that the first picture has come out amazing.” Everyone laughs in agreement.

“Okay, now let’s take a few more and then cut the cake!”, Sienna says. After a few more pics Jackie stands behind the impressive three-tiered cake, ready to cut into it. Sienna snaps a picture after lighting the candles as you all count down.

“5...4...3...2...1!” Everyone erupts into applause and laughter as Jackie blows out the 28 candles cuts the cake. “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday to Jackie!”

“Now, everyone knows that whoever you feed the first piece of cake is who you love the most!”, Bryce playfully says. Jackie suddenly pushes a piece of cake in your mouth, smearing your lips with frosting. Sienna snaps another pic.

“Wha- Heyy!”, you say, mouth full of cake. You take a piece of cake and return the favor, but not before smearing it on her cheek.

“OH MY GOD! THE DAMN CAKE IS DRENCHED IN BOURBON! OKAY, THIS IS THE BEST BIRTHDAY CAKE EVER”, Jackie yells. You laugh.

“It’s Mark’s special cake. He makes a sponge chocolate cake and after decorating it, he uses a syringe to fill the cake with alcohol.”, you reply as everyone gets more eager to taste the cake, As Sienna takes pictures and shows then to everyone, Jackie feeds everyone a small bite of cake.

“Oh damn, that’s good!” “Wow…” “Yummy!” A few minutes later, your phone chimes with a notification for Instagram. You open it to see Jackie’s latest posts.

“ZAID’S ON INSTAGRAM?”, you shout.

“I know right?!”, Kyra says.

“Never thought that he would comment.”, Jackie says.

With Jackie distracted, Bryce takes this opportunity to smear a lot of frosting on her face. “Bryce! I’ll make you pay for his, dumbass! And Sienna, delete that damn picture!”, Jackie shouts playfully as she heads towards the bathroom.

“I’ll go help her.”, Kyra says following her.

“Sienna quick! Get the gift basket!”, Bryce says.

You look at him, raising an eyebrow. “What? You thought I did that for fun?” He flashes you this ridiculous smirk making all of you laugh. You hold the gift basket behind you as Jackie comes back.

“You do know I have eyes right?”, Jackie says looking behind you.

“Well then...surprise!” You hand over the heavy gift basket with everyone else.

“I’m looking at this tomorrow. I’m too drunk and too spoiled with surprises. Now, where’s that cake?!” After everyone gets a piece, you all indulge yourselves in the rich chocolatey bourbon filled cake as the night dwells on.

“Okayyy...I think it’s time we all head home.”, Kyra says.

“Mhm…”, you agree as you stretch. “I think we all agree.”, Jackie says. Kyra, Rafael, Danny, and Bryce all leave in a cab after saying their goodbyes.

“You guys take a cab. I’ll be there a little while later.”, you say. Everyone leaves leaving just you to take in the beautiful view of downtown Boston.

“Thought I’d find you here.” You swivel around to find Liam looking at you.

“What do you mean?”, you ask quizzically.

“I’ve been your best friend since middle school. I know you better than yourself and I certainly know when something’s wrong.”

You sigh. “Is it that obvious?”

He nods. “You don’t have to tell me right now.”

“I know. I just don’t feel like ruining a perfectly good day.”, you say.

“Why don’t we head to my place? I’ll put on Grey’s and you can lecture me on all the medically incorrect terms.”, he says with a smile.

“I don’t know, I have work tomorrow…”, you say.

“Last time I checked, nothing stops you.”

“Fine, let’s go. But can we take my car? And can you drive? I’m drunk.”, you blurt out.

Liam chuckles, “I can tell genius, come on.” After a quick ride, you find yourself in a sleek and elegantly furnished three-bedroom apartment.

“Nice decor.”

“I’ve always had nice taste.”You snort. “Do I need to remind you that I helped you redo your room before high school?”

“I knowwww…”

“Yep, you’re drunk alright. Ava should have some clothes in there, take whatever you need.”

“You sure she won’t mind? And where is she, by the way? It’s been so long since I saw her.”, you ask.

“She’ll tell you herself in the morning. You do remember that you both wore each other’s clothes in high school?”

“Ohh yeah, I remember alright. I practically lived in her room during all of our tests.”, you say as you head into the room he pointed to. After finding a pair of sweats, you change into them. Heading out, you see Liam having laid out a few snacks for himself, water for you, and some throw blankets and pillows. You flop on the cushions and cover yourself with a fuzzy blanket. “What season?”

“Whatever you want. All of them have some kind of inaccuracy.”

He laughs. “I forgot how you drag your words and become painfully straightforward when you become when you’re drunk.”

“Nooooo...that’s not me!”, you say sarcastically.

He plays the pilot episode. “You know, I feel like I can kind of relate to Meredith.”, you say.

Liam gives you an incredulous look. “Not in the mood to explain.” You try to focus on Derek and Meredith’s banter but your eyelids are droopy. Lastly, all you can see is Liam tucking a pillow under your head as sleep overtakes you.

Part 1 of taglist:- @kaavyaethanramsey @rookie-ramsey @caseyvalentineramsey @hopelessromantics4life @realmrsramsey @mysticaurathings @binny1985 @maurine07 @alina-yol-ramsey @helloitsthiv @tsrookie @arcticlumineer @mary-c92 @sad-satan-herself @whippedforethanfreakingramsey @archxxronrookie @ethansrookie02 @semanticsandsea-lemons @mrandmrsramsey @nikki-2406 @deepikakkannan @siaramsey @katkart122 @openheartthot @imonlybibecauseofethanramsey @akshara16 @luvevelynclaire @literaryexpress @miss-smrxtiee @nadeen-ahmed11 @mrsalanrickman394 @drstellavalentine @ethandaddyramseyx @annekebbphotography @custaroonie @ladyrileybrooks @robbies-sutcliffe @cralinedp @bladesofopenheart @ezekielbhandarivalleros @daddyethanramsey @romewritingshop @lilyvalentine @xpandabeardontcarex @in-love-with-a-trans-girl @coastalengineer @starrystarrytrouble @clowneryme

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thoughtfullyyoungduck · 4 years

Text

babysit side effects

A/N: This was requested by anon, I hope you enjoy! sorry it took so long, Ihope it was worth it. Please let me know what you think, and if anyone has any requests please let me know!

summary: Can you write a fic where richie and eddie are babysitting one of the losers kids, and it makes them realize they want a kid of their own? Thank you :)

warnings: curse words

‘Okay, so let’s go over this again. Sophia has her first bottle of milk at 7:30 am, followed by her second bottle of milk by 11:15 am. At 12:30 she eats either fruit or a vegetable, and then at 3:15 he has another feeding time, this time a vegetable or fruit depending on what you gave her before, and then at 6:45 she has her last feed which is milk. Do you understand?’

Richie nodded somingly, even when he had to try hard to keep his laughter in, the serious and panicked look on Stan’s face too much to handle.

‘Of course Staniel, don’t you trust me to take care of your kids for a day?’

There was a beat of silence, during which Stan stared at Richie intently, trying to gauge if he was serious, or if he was just trying to provoke him. Then; ‘Off fucking course not Richie. Patty take your bags back inside, we’re not going.’

Laughter poured from Patty, who was just loading in her bag in the backseat, straitening up and walking closer to them. When she got close enough, she reached out and plucked Sofia out of Richie’s arms, her in hand holding her by her bum, while the other on supports the back of her head.

She coos at her daughter, full of love and not an ounce of annoyance anywhere visible on her entire face, despite the fact that Richie saw her slobber all over Patty’s blouse only minutes before she had to leave.

‘Sure we do Rich,’ Patty assures him while she grants his a kiss against his cheek as goodbye. ‘Stan and I wouldn’t have asked you if we didn’t think you were up to the challenge. Besides, we’re only going to be gone for a night, and we’ll return first thing in the morning. If anything goes wrong he can call us.’

There only off to help Patty’s mom move into a new nursing home for the day and night, but it’s the first time that they’ve been away from their children since Sofia was born, and Richie insist to make their time away free of all concerns. That is if they finally leave at least.

Stan kisses his daughter on the forehead holding her close for one last moment, before allowing Patty to hand her back into Richie’s awaiting arms.

It shocks Richie’s that baby’s are so small, though he knows logically that everyone was that small at one point or another, it’s one thing to know it, and another to actually see it.

‘Eddie is here too, so there’s two of them.’ Patty and Stan resort to a silent stand-off, holding a none spoken argument that Patty wins, if her smug smile is anything to go by.

‘There are also two children, so let’s hope they can handle both.’ Richie fake gasps, moving to hold his hand up in faux outrage, but stops when he is reminded of the, albeit barely there, weight of little Sofia, who is now fast asleep on his chest.

Knowing when to be serious, Richie lets his facade drop, Bowing down to catch Stan's eyes, before smiling reassuringly. ‘We got this Stan, trust me.’

Stan smiles back without a moment of hesitation,’ I know. If anything happens to be my babies, I’ll kill you in your sleep.’ The serious expression on his face enough to make Richie gulp, regardless of the fact that he knows Stan doesn’t mean it.

‘Copy that sir.’

‘Speaking of our two babies, where’s Emily?’ Patty demands, turning in a circle in search for her but not locating here.

‘I’m pretty sure she roped Eddie into dress up and having a tea party with her, so I think for the sake of Eddie’s sanity, we should leave now.’

The bolstering laugh from Richie is way too loud on the peaceful morning most of Stan’s neighbors are experiencing, but Patty joins him, so it’s not too bad. Suspiciously, Patty pauses right after to stare longingly at her daughter, her eyes becoming a little wet.

‘Alright, let’s go. Give Eddie my best.’ She hugs Sophia one last time, then turns away to sniffle and hide her tears, no doubt a little sad a the prospect of not seeing her girls. Richie moves to comfort her, but Stan is on the case, and he can do a much better job than Richie, no doubt in his mind.

Richie stands there uncomfortably, rocking baby Sofia back and forth, and staring at her sleeping face to avoid stalking the two lovers in front of him.

He only looks up when Stan loudly proclaims their leaving, ‘come on Babylove.’ Waving at Sophia likes she’s about to wave back. After, he carefully hugs Richie’s side, avoiding squashing Soph while also deeming his goodbye to Richie.

He too is reluctant to leave Sophia and Emily in the care of Eddie and Richie, but not because he doesn’t trust them, he just finds it hard to go anywhere without them.

They still leave regardless, after ten more minutes of saying goodbye, then they finally leave, turning the corner right as Eddie comes out of the house checking up on Richie to see what was taking him so long.

When Richie turns to face Eddie, he shrieks with laughter, not managing to contain himself. Patty’s old lipstick red dress that has holes in the sides of them and a little bit of dirt on one of the sleeves looks good on Eddie, even if Richie may be a bit biased and thinks everything looks fantastic when it’s Eddie that’s wearing it, but it’s the pink crown and staff that he’s holding, and the murderous leer he’s showing, that has Richie cackling like there’s no tomorrow.

‘Don’t you fucking dare, asshole.’ Eddie swears menacingly, but Richie can’t take him seriously, not when Emily scatters out of the house to tug on the bottom of the dress, the three year old herself slipped in the princess dress Eddie and Richie gave her as a present on her birthday a few weeks back. He bets Eddie didn’t expect it to backfire this way.

‘Uncle Eddie come on’, Emily whines, the three year old wearing an frozen Anna dress that is a tad too big on her, ‘The others are waiting on us.’

The other include, mister giraffe, Amika the horse, and Elsa, all in the form of stuffed animals gifted to her by various losers when they came to visit.

‘Yeah uncle Eds, it’s rude to keep the guest waiting you know.’ Richie eggs her on, smirking in delight when Eddie unsuspiciously flips him the bird, but follows Emily anyway, off to indulge her in whatever she requests him to do.

His laughter caused Sophia to wake up again, and she fuzzily bangs her tiny fist on Richie’s chest, as if to convey that she’s mad she was awoken. He tries to bounce her gently up and down, to et her settled again, then changes his mind and enters the house on a whim, trudging up the stairs to join Eddie and Emily in her playroom.

Getting close enough to the door to hear Emily’s voice does the trick, as he expected it to. Sophia calms down, now resorted to peeking up at her uncle, a gurgle escaping her throat while she fists around a piece of his hair, giggling happily.

Richie’s heart melts a little, while he gets hit with an enormous amount of love and affection, and he starts to understand why Patty and Stan were so begrudged to go anywhere without her.

Her blanket, the one she has on her at all times, is still pined safely to the front of her beanie, bunched up in the hand that is not pulling one of his curls. He catches a glimpse of Eddie, folded nearly completely in on himself, forced to sit still in a chair that is even too small for Emily to fit in properly, sipping on a tea cup but making 100 % sure the side of it doesn’t touch his bottom lip.

Emily simpers, lifting her own teacup to her mouth with a pinky stretched up as a greeting to him, chastising Eddie like he is the kid instead of her, when Eddie stretches upwards to grab a muffin.

Doing a poor job of hiding his laughter, Eddie takes notice of Richie staring at them from the door opening, at first looking vex, but then an emotion crosses his eyes that Richie can’t define. He shakes his head and focuses back on the table, but not fast enough to stop the sentiment from getting picked up by Richie.

‘Well, it looks they’re too busy for us right now. It’s just me and you then. Don’t give me that look bumper’, the nickname Richie duped her after finding out that her name was chosen after they saw it on a bumper sticker slipping out effortlessly, not with standing the arguments of Stan. ‘She can not find out about that Richie. I swear to god, I will keep you away from her long enough until I’ve convinced her that everything you say is a lie.’

‘I can be a good replacement dad for the day, just you wait and see.’

-------------------

Five hours later, when the clock strikes 3:15 pm, Richie struggles with the preparing the baby formula, and he can’t figure out what he is supposed to do. There is milk that needs to be added, but when he mixes the powder and the liquid with one another, a sticky, soup of residue is left behind, and that is impossible to taste good.

Embarrassingly, Richie resorts to researching the internet, clicking on video after video to find the same brand Patty and Stan use, to be absolutely assured that he’s doing the right thing. Then when it finally hits him over the head that it is supposed to look like that, he can’t get the temperature right.

The first time he puts it in the microwave he warms it so hot that he can’t even grasp the bottle in his hands, dropping it and staring at the milk that leaked all over the floor, cursing his life and every decision that has brought him up to that point.

The second one is still cold, and he briefly considers giving the baby cold milk, before he remembers Patty’s warnings and places it back in the microwave, when he takes it out, it’s hot enough to make him release a hiss.

He gets more and more frustrated, his emotions pilling on top of each other to leave one huge dump of distress that he can’t possibly take on too, not alongside two kids, and it only gets worse when Sophia has a fit and starts crying.

Richie’s earlier tricks to calm her down don’t work, not even after a few tries, so with a groan, he throws in the towel and yanks out his cellphone, feeling like a complete and utter failure.

‘Hey Richie, do you know where Stan and Patty keep their desserts? Sophia is craving something sweet and I used the opportunity to have myself a little break.’

Eddie pauses when he steps foot in the kitchen, hey eyebrows coming together to frown when he takes in the disheveled state Richie is in.

‘What’s wrong?’ Richie shakes his head uselessly, his shoulders shrugging helplessly while gesturing towards Sophia who is nestled against his shoulder, her cries muffled but still audible.

‘I don’t know how to prepare milk.’ Eddie has the audacity to snort, a sound that Richie has never heard coming from him, so he’s helpless to let out a small one himself.

‘Don’t laugh at me Eduardo, I’m in a deep crisis right now and I require your help.’ Walking closer, Eddie accept the bottle handed to him, the word ‘auch’ escaping from him at the warmth burning his palm.

‘My help? Why me?’ Eddie asks, shooting Richie a questioning look. A pink red sticker is hanging on his forehead, Richie then notices, but since Eddie is apparently blissfully unaware of it, Richie keeps it to himself.

‘Well Eds, I assume you have enough experience with babies, you know. Since you were treated like one your entire life?’ He winces when the words leave his mouth, his mind too preoccupied with Sophia to think twice about what he was about to speak in existence.

‘Fuck you, dude. And don’t call me Eds asshole.’ Luckily, Eddie waves the comment away with the tip of his hand, doing his signature move where he pretends to karate chop the air. ‘Come here, give her to me for a second.’ Eddie suggests, and Richie obliges, handing her over with extreme caution, even when she very willingly goes.

‘You’re uncle Rich is a bit of an idiot huh? How about we go and see how we can prepare your- well it’s not dinner yet, let’s say afternoon snack?’ Sophia quieted down as she got comfortable in Eddie’s arms, one of his arms beginning to prep the formula, again, during which the other held her up and close.

He then leaned in to whisper something in her ear, not loud enough for Richie to decipher what they were talking about, but it caused Eddie to gleam again, and even Sophia let out a big grin, happily going along with whatever her uncle Eddie was proclaiming.

The sight of a baby in Eddie’s arms, his eyes twinkling in pure adoration, his grin wide enough to show teeth, while he rocked her back and forth, made Richie want to beg Eddie to raise a child with him.

He dismissed the idea soon enough though, for if Eddie had a wish for kids, surely he would have said something by now. But he knows already that the image was going to haunt his dreams for a long time, the mesmerizing sight of what could be, or could have been did not plan on leaving his mind any time soon.

He must stare for a tad too long, Eddie feeling his gaze upon him so he glances up, their eyes meeting. Eddie opens his mouth to say something, but before he can he is interrupted by Emily, impatient from waiting too long or her cookie.

‘Uncle Eddie, what’s taking you so long?’ She complains, rolling her eyes when she notices that Eddie is holding her sister.

‘In a minute sweety, I’m just helping uncle Rich out right now.’ Having an excuse from being in Eddie’s proximity while he’s holding a baby, Richie jumps on the opportunity to get out. The fact that he missed his other niece aswell guides his decision too.

‘I’ll play dress up with you for a while Princess Ems.’ He bows down extravagantly, acting as if there is real royalty in front of him.

‘Don’t you want me to teach you how to prepare milk?’ Eddie summons, his voice edged with a tint of confusion at Richie’s sudden interest to leave.

‘You can teach me about that later Eds, she needs her drink three times a day.’ Richie reassures him, fiddling with his thumbs while he begs Eddie to let the subject drop.

‘But uncle Eddie was so cool, all my friends wanted to meet him.’ Emily had yet to grow out of the phase where she us jealous of her little sister, so her whole argument isn’t about Eddie specifically, it’s about her not entertaining the idea of anyone giving her sister the light of day from who she demands it from.

But that’s alright. Richie is nothing if not persuasive. ‘Aye, that’s true but they have yet to meet me’, Richie performs, making use of the pirates accent and langue he had to learn for an audition. Emily giggles in delight, easily swayed when it involved her uncle Richie, and even more so when it had to do with his voices.

‘And if they don’t wanna know a seadog like me, I’ll force those scallywags to walk the plank. Aye. Now let’s go, heave-ho upstairs so I can be introduced.’

Emily nods enthusiastically, practically running up the stairs two steps at a time, and Richie follows with just as much energy, yelling ‘aye’ or ‘are’, every so few seconds. In his haste, he is oblivious to the same longing look Eddie gives him, when he sees him interact with a child.

-----

It’s a long day, and Richie can feel the bone deep exhaustion creeping up on him when he eventually makes his way over to the couch, Eddie dozing on the rug with the baby monitor still in his hands.

It’s not even eleven pm yet, and Richie knows that Eddie would be more relaxed in a bed than the sofa, but he also knows that they’ll be awaken more than a few times during the night, so he lets Eddie sleep.

In the wardrobe in Stan and Patty’s living room, Richie discovers a blanket, big enough to cover both him and Eddie, so he takes it, vowing to wash it before they get home. It’s soft and fluffy, and perfect to sleep with, but as soon as he tucks it around Eddie, he shits up, all sleep vanished from his eyes.

He blinks up at Richie, shuffling closer to him while disposing of the baby phone on the ground next to were they are seated, and rearranging the quilt till every part of their bodies is covered with it.

Eddie’s head lays on Richie’s shoulder, while one of his arms rubs up and down his arm and shoulder, grabbing strands of his arm hair with him sometimes, which is just what Richie needs to stay awake, the small jolts of pain keep him on his toes. And that’s necessary, he discovers over the next minute.

Without facing Richie, Eddie drops a bombshell like he’s never done before, causing Richie to choke on his own spit. ‘I want to have a baby.’

I want to have a baby, I want to have a baby, I want to have a baby, the words play on repeat in his head, ricocheting of the walls and tumbling but sticking none the less, Richie brain turning into mind numbing fizz, absolutely no thoughts besides Eddie words formulating.

The coughing alerts Eddie, who sits up straighter, looking back Richie’s way with wide eyes, as he looks on on the natural disaster that is about to concur in front of him.

When his brain comes back online, mortifying is not even big enough a word to describe the shame Richie feels for his reaction, so, he resorts to what he always does; using humor as a blockage.

‘Christ Eds, I don’t think that possible. You know, question of having the right body parts. It’s a shame really, me and your mom.-‘

‘Beep, Beep Richie.’ Eddie interrupts him strictly. ‘I need you to be honest. No jokes, just you.’ That’s a hard task, since it’s become second nature to Richie to use it as a defense mechanism, but for Eddie he’s willing to try.

‘And before you say anything, let me talk first’, Eddie insists, waiting till he gets an approving nod from Richie to continue. ‘Today, seeing you with Sophia and Emily, I realized that you’re so good with kids. And before today I honestly didn’t think I wanted children, but I guess that I didn’t want them with Myra, but I do want them with you. What do you think?’ Eddie prompts, trying to gauche Richie’s reaction, but even Eddie sometimes has trouble doing that, and now is one of those times.

Holding his breath nervously, not even Richie’s hand grabbing his is enough to calm him down, his fingers drumming against his upper leg.

‘I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you.’ Richie entrust Eddie, his body visibly relaxing when it’s clear that Richie is at the very least not going to yell at him for suggestion kids in the first place.

Their lips meet in the middle of Stan’s couch, the house around them eerily quite while the two of them are stuck in a haze together, blissfully unaware of what’s happening outside of their bubble. It’s a reassuring kiss, their lips lazily in sinc, neither in a rush, to help calm both of them down just a little, before diving head first into the deep shit again.

‘Are you sure you want to have kids with me? Because today I fucked up her stupid bottle. I mean, who can’t warm milk? And I don’t want you to hate me over something that I can’t do. I’m scared I’ll put all this weight on you and you’ll resent me for it, and I can’t have that, Eds, I can deal with everything else, but I can’t deal with you hating me.’ Richie proclaims, out of breath and sucking in large gulps of air.

Eddie pulls his face closer to his, both of his palms on either side of Richie’s head. ‘Listen to me dipshit, cause I’m only fucking saying this ones. You could murder someone in front of me, and I would roll with it okay? I came out and left my wife, and yeah, part of that was because of me, but I would have never understood what those feeling were if it weren’t for you. I love you Richie, and that’s never going to change no matter what.’ Eddie pauses, searching Richie eyes for confirmation that he understood. ‘Dipshit’, he added when he found it.

Richie let out a titter, one of his hands coming up to cover Eddie’s and leaning into the touch.

‘If you’re only worried about not knowing stuff to do with the kids, than I can help with that. That’s what a relationship is. I teach you things, and you teach me. Besides, there’s going to be a specific choir assignment, because there’s no fucking way I’m cleaning a baby’s diaper.’

‘Well then, Edward Francis Kaspbrak, it would be my honor to have a baby with you.’ Eddie’s face it up, through and through genuineness this time. No annoyance or irritation anywhere in sight, so of course, Richie had to change that.

‘Again, not biological because that would be impossible.’

‘Shut the fuck up asshole.’ Eddie grabbed a pillow to whack Richie full in the face, laughter pouring out of him when he accidentally knocked his glaces off.

‘Hey Eds, you might want to learn how to control that temper of yours, we wouldn’t want our beloved child to adapt the same words right?’

‘Seriously, I’ll fucking murder you if you don’t shut the fuck up.’

#reddie #reddie fluff #kid fic #richie tozier imagine #eddie kaspbrack #eddie kaspbrak imagine #My writing #it chapter two imagine #babysitting #stan as a dad #sort off #eddie kaspbrak as a dad #richie tozier as a dad

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god-save-the-keen · 5 years

Text

Lorelai Gilmore, the best mom in the world, prompt list!

1. "Does he/she have a motorcycle? 'Cause if you're gonna throw your life away he'd better have a motorcycle!"

2. "There's plenty to do tonight that we can be mortified about tomorrow."

3. "So not only did you go to a cop-raided party, but you started the raid?" *Signing* "Then she proceeds to sing, 'Did You Ever Know That You're My Hero?'"

4. "I need caffeine. Whatever form you've got, I haven't had any all day. I'll drink it, shoot it, eat it, snort it, whatever form it's in, gimme."

5. "Seventy-five thousand dollars? Oh my God, that’s like 150 pairs of Jimmy Choos."

6. "There have been very few moments in my life where I have actually wished I had one of those enormous crème pies you can just smash in somebody's face. But this is definitely one of them."

7. "Don't let his family see you. Spiders are vindictive. And this was a really big spider. I think it had a gun."

8. "I thought I knew exactly what I wanted, where I was going, what I was doing and why I was doing. But lately, things seem hazier."

9. "It's all any of us wants, to find a nice person to hang out with until we drop dead. Not a lot to ask!"

10. "If it was physically possible to make love to a hot beverage, this would be the one."

11. "As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I'm totally flexible."

12. "My God, I hate her." "Me too." "You have no idea who I'm talking about." "Solidarity."

13. "I don't like problems. I avoid them when I can and I don't like people pointing them out to me."

14. "Everything in my life has something to do with coffee. I believe in a former life, I was coffee."

15. "When I think of blistering thirty-degree burns, I also think of my mother."

16. "976-BITE-ME."

17. "Well, we like our Internet slow, okay? We can turn it on, walk around, dance, make a sandwich. With DSL, there’s no dancing, no walking, and we’d starve. It’d be all work and no play. Have you not seen The Shining, Mom?"

18. "I need coffee in an IV."

19. "It's Friday night, we should be out partying with the homies."

20. "You are full of hate and loathing and I gotta tell you, I love it!"

21. "It's very exciting, but so is eating a gallon of pudding."

22. "Cheeseburger, onion rings, and a list of people who killed their parents and got away with it. I’m looking for heroes."

23. "Coffee, please, and a shot of cynicism."

24. "My mother — she was here. I can feel it. Smell that? The room smells like guilt and Chanel No. 5."

25. "I'm going to go make out in the coat room. Don't eat my chicken."

26. "Get back in your pajamas, go to bed, eat nothing but gallons of ice cream and tons of pizza, don't take a shower or shave your legs or put on any kind of makeup at all and just sit in the dark and watch a really sad movie and have a good long cry and just wallow. You need to wallow."

27. "You have so many years of screw-ups ahead of you."

28. "I hate when I'm an idiot and don't know it. I like to be aware of my idiocy."

29. "I don't like ultimatums." "I don't like Mondays, but unfortunately they come around eventually."

30. "I'm the Oracle. I carry all the knowledge."

31. "Because my brain is a wild jungle full of scary gibberish."

32. "I'm fine. I'm just being dramatic. It's what I do."

33. "You're very cruel." "Yes, it keeps me young."

34. "Sorry, I see we entered the no-humor zone."

35. "You should identify yourself when you answer the phone." "Sorry, Independence Inn. Major Disappointment speaking. Better?"

36. "Come here. You have some dirt on your forehead. I'm sorry. It's the sign of devil. My mistake."

37. "I love it when I talk and no one listens. Make me think like home."

38. "Repeat after me: I'm completely hopeless."

39. "You are drawing me into your druken world." "It's not a bad place to be, my friend."

40. "He/She's so sexy, smart, funny, and he/she likes coffee."

41. "It's from my mother." "What is it?" "It's heavy. Must be her hopes and dreams for me."

42. "Don't judge what you don't understand."

43. "Do you like coffee?" "Only with my oxygen."

44. "Cats came to my house today. Cause they know I'm a loser and I'm destinated to be alone."

45. "I had a dream about him/her the other night." "Really? Dirty?" "No... Absolutely not. And when you're 21 I'll tell you the real answer."

46. "I think you are acting a little immature." "I'm not acting."

47. "That Lothario there has wormed his way into my daughter's heart and mouth... And for that he must die."

48. "This is bad." "I know. I wish we had popcorn."

49. "You know what the worst part of it was? When you weren't there, part of me wasn't surprise."

50. "You are the man/woman I want to want."

51. "A mistake? A mistake? That is what you call it, a mistake?" "Well, I tried to call it 'Al', but it would only answer to 'mistake'"

52. "Don't you understand that I can't talk to you because it hurts? Don't you understand that?"

53. "It's too much food." "It's not. That's is what we been training for. This is our destiny. This is our finest hour."

54. "Who cares if I'm pretty if I fail my finals." "Okay, you have got this so completely backwards."

55. *One phone on each ear* "Who are you talking to?" "My other two personalities."

56. "He/she kissed you and you say thank you?" "Yes!" "Well, that was very polite."

57. "Decaf." "Never."

58. "I don't think I ever really loved anyone until Name."

59. "I smell snow."

60. "Reality has absolutely no place in our world."

61. "No? No lecture about kissing a boy/girl?" "No. Why, did you do it wrong?"

62. "The drinks fortify us. The drinks give us strength. The drinks get us drunk."

63. "I'm a young, desirable woman/men." *Talking to two cats in the porch.*

64. "Really? You are gonna kiss me now? You are so incredibly predictable."

65. "You threw a frying pan at Name's head without me there? I hate you."

66. "I hate my life."

67. "I have no memory of this whatsoever."

68. "She's very aggressive today." "I think the passive part of her personality is playing hooky."

69. *Reading* "Man, she/he sure used a lot of exclamations points."

70. "I love that you have my eyes and my coffee addiction, my taste in music and movies."

Used them, shared, make a request, have fun with them! ❣️

#lorelai gilmore #gilmore girls #ask prompt #prompt #dialogue prompts #writing prompt #prompt list #daily prompt #fanfic writing #writing #fanfic #fanfiction

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palettes-and-prompts · 5 years

Text

100 First Meetings (Dialogue Prompts)

1) "Were you the one in the bathroom a second ago trying different lines in the mirror to work up the courage to ask that barista out?" 2) "Wow, you're cute." 3) "You come here often?" "This is a morgue." 4) "You! What the hell are you doing in here? We're closed!" 5) "Ahhhh! I hate my fucking life!!!" "Mood." 6) "You have magic?!" 7) "You don't look like you'll last a day here." 8) "You should leave before your date gets back from the bathroom, I saw them in here the other day popping the question to two different people." 9) "They never told me they had a younger brother/sister." 10) "Who's the twink?" 11) "I gotta ask, are you mad about something or is your face just /like that?/" 12) "You're my new roommate?" 13) "You're not married are you?" 14) "Hey, you're not dead are you? Cause I'm on probation and I can't afford to be involved in a fucking murder or something." 15) "So you're the one causing all this trouble." 16) "I need you to pretend we're dating so this dude will leave me alone." 17) "Honey, there you are I've been looking all over for you! Pretend you're with me so this person will go away." 18) "So you're the loud moaner from upstairs, huh, never knew you'd be so cute." 19) "You're not the pizza guy." 20) "You know, when I said I wish the love of my life would just fall out of the sky this isn't exactly what I had in mind." 21) "Any particular reason you're putting peanut butter in my kid's hair?" 22) "You made me dinner?" 23) "You've got the wrong room, but feel free to stay naked." 24) "You must be the motherfucker who broke my windshield!" 25) "Hi, you are very naked." 26) "You their new toy?" 27) "How'd you like to make fifty bucks?" 28) "I know I'm going to regret asking but who are you?" 29) "You got any friends?" "No." "Well you do now, come sit with us!" 30) "Cute face, I'd love to sit on it sometime." 31) "Where'd you find this dork?" 32) "Uh, there any particular reason you're screaming at two thirty-six in the morning? 33) "Out of curiosity, do you think you could lift a dead body?" 34) "If you don't let go of this bag of chips I swear to god I'll bring you to your knees in the middle of this fucking WinnDixie." 35) "WHO THE FUCK ATE THE LAST OF THE FUCKIN DORITOS, I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL-oh! I'm sorry, I didn't know we had a guest. If I'd known we had a guest I would've cleaned." 36) "Are you the vegan cannibal? Because I have so many questions." 37) "Ooh, hello Mommy/Daddy. Fuck, did I just say that out loud?" 38) "Am I dead? Are you an angel? Am I in heaven?" "Actually you're in a taco bell, you tried to do a kick flip on your skateboard in the parking lot and hit your head on the side of the dumpster." 39) "You brought a fucking guest to our SECRET BASE?! I'll deal with you later. Hi, hello, it's very nice to meet you please make yourself at home!" 40) "So, you gay or what?" 41) "No, sorry, we don't want any girl scout cookies." 42) "Holy shit, you just saved my fucking life!" 43) "Hey, honey, it's just me. You were in a really bad accident so don't try moving around too much, okay? How are you feeling?" "You called me honey. Do I know you?" 44) "Jesus, your face is about as red as your hair." 45) "Run along little ballerina, you wouldn't want to be caught hanging around the bad kids, would you?" 46) "No, I'm not the stripper, but I can be if you'd like." 47) "You ready to cut open some bodies?" 48) "Get in if you want to live." 49) "What are you looking at, short stack? Mind your own business." 50) "Your headphones aren't plugged in properly so I can hear everything you're listening to. I was going to tell you earlier but then you started watching the weirdest porn I've ever seen and I didn't want to embarrass you, but I'm about to leave so I figured I'd tell you before someone else sits around you." 51) "I don't know what they've told you but we don't need another member, go home." 52) "Hey, stop right there, you can't steal that! That's illegal!" 53) "Who's the nerd?" 54) "You look like the kind of person who wears days of the week underwear." 55) "So, how many pitchers of margaritas are you allowed to sell me?" 56) "My head fucking kills, I shouldn't have drank last night. Hey, wait, why do you and I have matching rings on our fingers?!" 57) "Congratulations, idiot! You just ruined a six month plan and now we have to start all over!" 58) "That is the ugliest shirt I've ever seen, where can I get one just like it?" 59) "I know you make straight A's, but I'm still not sure if you're really smart or dumb but really lucky. Because I've seen someone ask you what the square root of pi is and you answer with 'I don't know, I guess it depends on the flavor.'" 60) "Who the fuck let you in?" 61) "Hey, I'll give you twenty bucks if you take a photo with me to make my ex jealous." 62) "So, you eat ass or what?" 63) "You a cop?" "No." "Too bad, you would have looked good in a uniform." 64) "With a face like that I'll be whoever you want me to be." 65) "Hey, you have eyes, do you think this outfit makes me look fat? You can be honest, I can handle it." 66) "I'm just looking for a nice person to settle down with who'll fuck me hard and tell me they love me when they cum on my face, like, I feel like that's not too fucking much to ask for, you know? Anyway, I'll have a diet coke and the chicken salad, please." 67) "I swear to god, this is not what it looks like." 68) "First of all, don't you fucking come in here and try and start a fight with my best friend while you're looking straight goofy as hell in those fucking Walmart shorts and those thrift store crocs." 69) "HEY! YOU ACROSS THE STREET! YOUR DOG IS SO FUCKING CUTE AND I WOULD FUCKING DIE FOR THEM!" 70) "Anyone who says they don't like musicals is either lying to themselves, has never watched one, or is a heartless android sent by the government to blend into society and collect information about us." 71) "Asking someone out is easy, watch this. Hi, I think you're cute and if you're not seeing anyone do you want to go out sometime?" 72) "Hey, I saw you crying earlier when you stepped on a bug. Do you need me to, like, call someone for you?" 73) "I can't tell if you're really high and just hungry or if you're buying 28 family bags of shredded cheese at three am because you just love cheese. Either way you should probably also buy some laxatives or lactaid while you're already here." 74) "When I told you to make a power point about something you're passionate about for our first class meeting I didn't mean make a power point on 'How to Give Great Head' and I absolutely didn't tell you to include pictures." 75) "Are you wearing that tacky ass outfit because you genuinely like it or because you're a Leo and crave the attention?" 76) "Did you really just buy the last chocolate chocolate chip muffin? You are now dead to me." 77) "The fuck are you looking at loser?" 78) "Dude, books are just like subtitles without the movie." 79) "Hey, in your tinder bio is says your friends call you Badger Slammin' Sam and I literally only swiped right just to find out why." 80) "Are you hitting on me? Am I being punked? Are you a hooker? Did my dumbass friend put you up to this?" 81) "Hey, I need you to settle something for me and my friend. Which is the right way to pronounce carrot?" 82) "Do you believe in love at first sight, what about disgust at first glance?" 83) "Look, I'm not saying that MCR's last album changed my life, but I'm absolutely saying that." 84) "Can you move out of my way, I have to clean puke off the floor before I'm allowed to use my lunch break to cry in my car." 85) "Hi, I believe this very drunk person is your roommate, they told me this is the address. I caught them in my backyard playing with my dog again." 86) "I know you're probably not allowed to do this, but I kind of need to borrow an iguana." 87) "Hey, I saw you drop your sandwich in the parking lot earlier and start crying and I felt bad for not saying anything earlier, but I went to the sandwich shop and luckily the dude remembered your oddly specific order so I got you another one. I hope you get to feeling better." 88) "No, we don't sell 'that crazy kush' here, you can try Target." 89) "I was just calling because you sent me a picture text three weeks ago by accident with the caption 'When they let you deliver the digiorno after you clap them cheeks.' and I was just wondering if you could explain what that means because it's been keeping me up at night ever since you sent it." 90) "Hey, I just overheard you talking with your friends about how you put mustard, ketchup, and ranch on your macaroni and cheese and I just wanted to come over here and personally ask you which circle of hell you crawled up from." 91) "What the fuck is a diet water?" 92) "You guys here for the orgy?" 93) "Was that your scream? Why did it sound like a banshee?" 94) "I saw you pour two five hour energy shots into a cup of coffee earlier and then proceed to mix it with monster and red bull and like, dude I know this isn't really my place or whatever but I think you should probably go to the hospital. Like, I think you're gonna die." 95) "Your profile said you're a vegan but my profile says 'Only contact if you eat ass' and you contacted me, so what's the truth here?" 96) "Call me adorable one more time and I'll knock your teeth down your fucking throat." 97) "Move, I have to go fail my Stats test before I can go home and cry into a bag of hot cheetos while I rewatch The Office." 98) "I'm sorry, did you just order a fifty piece mcnugget for here, for yourself?" 99) "So, how do you feel about lizards?" 100) "Question, are you a top or a bottom, because you're giving off major power bottom energy but I'm not one hundred percent sure."

#Dialogue prompts #100 prompts #100 first meetings #first meetings #dumb #dialogue #writing prompts #writing #most of these are just stupid #sorry leos #lightly nasty #lots of swearing #prompts

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cecilspeaks · 5 years

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152 - The Great Golden Hand

Here it comes. Here it comes! The Great Golden Hand! Hurrah, rejoice! It nears, it nears!

Welcome to Night Vale.

Wonderful news, residents. City officials report that within the next few hours, we should expect the arrival of the Great Golden Hand. This will mark the first visit from the Great Golden Hand in nearly 80 years. Older residents and those who up until recently did not age will remember the last visit fondly. Those were the days, when the air felt crisper somehow, as though growing older does not cause a degradation of self, but rather a degradation of everything outside of self. We project our own decline upon the world and complain that everything was righter and better at the time that we coincidentally were at our physical and mental peak.

But I digress. Because everything was better during the Great Golden Hand, that’s just objective. We will update you on the Hand as it approaches. But in the meantime, make sure that you are stocked up on a supply of clean water, adequate canned goods for five to eight years, and copious amounts of human hair for the offering. If you do not have hair, please make sure to stop by the hair bank this morning to pick up hair generously donated by your neighbors, for those who crave human hair by the fistful.

But first, today’s forecast. Rain later, or no rain. Or sun, or snow, or none of those things. There will be some light clouds along the horizon, or it will be clear and you will stand out on a lawn gone prickly with the conservation of water. And you will see that you can see all the way across the world, even though you know that you can only see about three miles to to curvature of the Earth, but it’s metaphorical, this distance, and with the clarity of the sky, it will seem much further than that. Or there will be clouds, so none of that will happen and you will l only sit in your kitchen, eating leftovers and not thinking even a little about everything you’ve never done and you will never get to do. Or you won’t wake up today. There will come a day where you don’t, you know, and then none of this will matter. And the sky will be a perfect blue and you won’t see it. Or it will rain. Or no rain. Or sun. Or snow. Or none of those things. All of that later today, or tomorrow, or never. This has been today’s forecast.

We continue to track the Great Golden Hand, as it takes over much of the western horizon. Larry Leroy out on the edge town reported that flowers have begun growing and dying in bursts all morning. Cycles of life that passes quickly as air through his lungs. “These plants are speeding up,” he said, or else we are slowing down. Maybe thousands of years have passed and the only ones that know are the flowers.” [laughs] Larry, what a joker!

City government tells us we have nothing to fear from the Great Golden Hand, although city government is in a bit of disarray, as of course we do not have a mayor, and city council has announced that they forgot it was their sister’s wedding this weekend in Tulsa, and they need to leave town immediately. So city government currently consists of Claire Scott at the hall of public records. Claire is a woman-shaped apparition that haunts the dark hallways of the building and is responsible for at least ten deaths. It’s not an ideal situation leaving her in charge, but at least someone is there, as the Great Golden Hand draws ever closer.

Let’s take a quick look at the headlines. Controversy has erupted over a new McDonald’s commercial, as many say that the victims offered on the altar weren’t properly consecrated. Lenny Butler, who has no official (–) [0:05:47] on religion or ceremony, but who considers himself something of a sacrifice aficionado and self-taught expert, dismissed the commercial as, quote, “more hack co-opting by corporate culture.” He shook his head in disbelief as he showed reporters a copy of the commercial. “Look at this, he said. “Does that axe look like it has been buried for 100 days in a graveyard? I bet some underpaid PA bought that axe at an Ace Hardware the day of the shoot. And look at how the subsequent bone and blood slurry is just kind of spilling everywhere! There’s no thought at all to proper aesthetic flow to the sacrifice!” Lenny concluded. Executives at national McDonald’s headquarters expressed horror and disbelief when asked about the commercial, saying they had nothing to do with this and why are we making them watch this traumatizing footage. “Why?” the executives repeated over and over, in smaller and smaller voices. “Why?” Well, that’s it for the headlines.

And now traffic. There is a crack in the wall. There is a twinge in your heart. There is someone coming, but don’t worry, there is also someone going. There is a lamp in an alcove in a house on a mountain. There is a hand that reaches out and turns on the lamp. There is an eye that squints thru the dim light, trying to see what isn’t there. There is a name. Yes, there is a name, but we will never know what it is. There is a dusty foot scooting along rough wood. There is a tree outside, and it moans through the fierce wind off the peaks. There is a small flower in a pot and it is three days from dying. There is a lamp in an alcove in a house on a mountain and a hand that reaches out and turns it off. There is a car on a road to the mountain. There is a mind dreaming that this time, the reunion will go differently. There is a hand on a steering wheel and it trembles. There is a foot upon a gas pedal, and it wants to ease up, to turn around, to accelerate toward anything but a house on a mountain. There is an eyelash upon an eyelid, upon an eye, upon a skull, upon a lifetime of doubt. There is a tree across part of the road, and maybe that could be an excuse, but no. The hand upon the wheel turns, and finds the narrow way thru, and continues on, toward the house on a mountain. There is a crack in the wall. There is a twinge in your heart. There is someone coming. But don’t worry, there is also someone going. This has been traffic.

I’m being told by a multitude of disembodied mouths, that appeared in my office and began worbling in a singsongy chant, that the Great Golden Hand is only minutes away from covering the entire area. If you have not already sought shelter, now would be the time to regret screwing up so badly on such an important day. Remember to not look directly at the Great Golden Hand. The Great Golden Hand should not be mixed with alcohol or other medications without advice from your doctor. Unfortunately, the Great Golden Hand has taken all the doctors. Also all life insurance adjusters and all dog walkers. If you notice sparks, that is part of the process. If you feel a fission, that is also part of the process. If you see the color green, that is not part of the process and you should panic. The process will protect us. The Great Golden Hand will protect us. Long live the Hand.

Meanwhile, just a brief notice before we are overtaken by the Hand. It seesm that, oh this is interesting, that the family of Frank Chen has filed a missing persons report with the sheriff’s secret police. Now, you might remember that Frank Chen’s dead body was found several years ago, covered in claw marks and burns, and we all assumed he was dead. But then he was seen around town driving his pickup truck, and now he looked like a five-headed dragon. Sure, he looks completely different, but the dragon had a New Jersey driver’s license that indicated that he indeed was Frank Chen. And so that was the day it was proven to us that the dead can come back to life looking completely different. Anyway, the Chen family says that Frank was driving out from the east coast to see his brother, and disappeared somewhere between Oklahoma and Los Angeles. It took him several years to find Night Vale, although our recent change back to a normal timeline has at least put us a little more in sync with the rest of the country. The Chen family is unsure what a sheriff’s secret police is, nor what is so secret about them if they drive around in clearly labeled cars, but they would appreciate any help at all in finding their long lost Frank. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen rank since the day that Hiram McDaniels, the five- oh sorry, four-headed dragon, left Night Vale. Where did Frank go? If you have any information, tell a bird. Birds are real loudmouths and the info will be all over town in no time.

And now for the community calendar. This Friday, Martin McCaffrey is presenting an art show in the grain silo out back from the old Cooper farm. The silo will be kept in absolute darkness, and each (-) [0:12:40] will be shoved into the abandoned tower all along. They will not be able to see anything except the dancing light that lives in their eyelids. But they will know that they are with art, that art is indeed there, just beyond their fingertips in the darkness watching them. Suggested donation is five dollars, as in Martin suggests you donate that or you won’t be able to get in. Saturday morning, we’re getting towards the end of the summer softball league, and once again we have the annual grudge match between Steve Carlsberg’s Happy Hyenas, and Susan Willman’s Bad at Softball Losers. Not their real team name, but the name was kind of forgettable, and I think this one is more catchy. Ugh, Susan Willman! [mumbles] Tooling around in that Prius she bought after her Mini Cooper was filled with jellyfish and then towed. [cheerfully] See you on Saturday morning! Where we will, I assume, be cheering on my wonderful brother-in-law Steve.

Sunday, Leopold Tuesdale has called for a community meeting. Leopold is the former CEO of the former cereal company Flaky-O’s, until both were acquired in a hostile takeover by Kellogg’s. Leopold was last seen being pulled into a van by Kellogg’s executives, but he has returned. His face is gaunt and it appears he has aged several decades, or perhaps a few very stressful years. He wears a cape and one big leather glove. The topic of the community meeting is the labyrinth that lays just beyond human sight, and the harbingers of that labyrinth, who drive vans full of wooden grates. He also want to discuss parking for the antiques fair, which he feels has gotten out of hand on Grub Street. Monday is a fun dinosaur presentation from local dinosaur expert Joel Eisenberg. This is part of the Applebee’s visiting experts program that invites local scholars to share their knowledge, and also prices jalapeno poppers at in irresistible 3,99 for 12. Wow! With a deal like that, I can’t wait to learn more about those big spitty lizards, or whatever they were.

Tuesday – is the day you’ve been waiting for. Yes, you could have achieved your dreams earlier, but it always seemed easier to plan to do them some day. Well, Tuesday is that day, and now it’s time to finally buckle down and get those dreams going. I wouldn’t delay, because it seems that Wednesday is the day – you die. So stay positive, and get it done quickly. And finally, next Thursday the Night Vale municipal fire authority is holding a mandatory fire drill. When you hear the siren, burn as many things as you can.

This has been the community calend- oh! Oh, I see it! I see it, it is here! Aaaaaaah, it is above me! The [booming sound] the [booming sound]

[“Drones” by Epicenter https://epicentermetal.bandcamp.com]

Part 1. In which the rabbits get their way. Before there were buildings, there were hills. In the hills, there were rabbits. All they wanted from life was food, a bit of sunshine, and to multiply across the land. And so they did. Most stories are happy if you end them at the right time.

Part 2. In which we approach. Aah, to see us then, when we were moving – toward the west, or else toward the east, or else south or north, but it wasn’t the direction. It was the momentum of it. We put ourselves out there, made ourselves available for new opportunities. Never mind the drawbacks, and never mind who gets hurt. That’s a problem for who comes next. We are here, so we can get there. And there’s just nothing else to worry about, but the getting.

Part 3. In which comes the kingdom. Great towers and great halls. A crowd looking upwards and a king looking downwards. What a time to be alive! What a terrible time to be dead! How much the dead are missing out on. Death is stupid, and we must only celebrate life. Those who are gone are gone, and it’s probably their fault anyway. We are alive because of our wits, and because we are naturally inclined to be alive. “How good we are,” we murmur, “and how beautiful our king is.”

Part 4. In which all is thought lost. But then – time came for us too. We weren’t who we used to be, but we also weren’t who we would be next either. There was this awful in-between, and we had to stay in it for so long. A king grew tired on his throne. We all grew so tired.

Part the last. In which we are each born anew. After – there were the buildings. There were the hills. In the hills lived rabbits. And we lived there too. All we wanted was food, a bit of sunshine, and to multiply across the land, and so we did. Most stories are happy if you wait long enough. The [booming sound effect] gives, the [booming sound effect] takes.

Stay tuned next for a slow drifting toward what we’ve always wanted, interrupted by the constant distraction of what seems easiest, and from one discipline of the [booming sound] to another: Good night, Night Vale, Good night.

Today’s proverb: The universe contains, among other things, black holes, vast clouds of gas and light, endless void, a diamond planet, and your tiny body.

#welcome to night vale #welcome to night vale transcripts #wtnv #episode 152 #the great golden hand

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draculaspetbee · 5 years

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Hello Amazing Followers!

Ok this is my second try at writing this (I tried to edit the tags and deleted the whole thing lol!) So, first, I want to put it out here that no one has asked me to do this. But I have recently gotten a lot of new followers to this blog, and I feel that I need to explain myself a bit. I want to explain why I sometimes need a pick-me-up, why I ask for people to send me nice things. Just so you know I am going to be going into a lot of personal detail, not everything I’ve ever went through but a lot, and I will be discussing depression, anxiety, PTSD, child abuse, panic attacks, threatening of animals and someone threatening suicide. Please take this as a trigger warning right from the top here. Also, if I miss any triggers please let me know, I am ALWAYS willing to add the tag and edit the post. If you want to ask me at all about any of what is here feel free to message me.

So, about four/five years ago I managed to break away from my first abuser. His name is Todd (I have a #toddtag on here for him even) and he is my biological father. He was extremely emotionally abusive to me and my family (my brother and mother). He used to make fun of me constantly, call me fat, tell me how much of a loser I was (I was in high school, in jazz band, marching band, honors society, scholar bowl, I worked two jobs, I was on the softball team, generally I did not want to be at home). He used to scream and yell at us if we did things he didn’t like, like cooking food the wrong way or washing the dishes in the dish washer instead of by hand. He would get worse when it came time to mow the lawn, to the point I would hid underneath the window so that he wouldn’t be able to see me if he looked into the house. He would make us sit at the table while he yelled at us for the wrong-doings we had done, like not fold his clothes. If we didn’t like the food we would sit at the table while he yelled at us until we ate it, to the point that my brother once threw up because of it. He made us eat whole cloves once when he made ham. To this day I still get nauseous if I hear a lawn mower or smell/taste cloves. When I was 13 he told me that I should dress more provocatively if I wanted to get a boyfriend. When I was gifted a dog when I was 13 he let me keep her until he got upset one day, and while I was at work he tried to give her away. He once took my mother’s dog outside to kill her because she had taken chicken from my brother. (BOTH DOGS MADE IT OUT WITH US OK, WE WERE ABLE TO SAVE THE DOGS) When he would leave for the night (he worked night shifts) he would make us stand in a line and hug him goodbye. He would make us hug him, even if he had been yelling at us seconds before. He would glare at us, until we would hug him and then he’d kiss our cheeks and leave without a word.

When I was younger we used to joke that he was a werewolf because he always used to get meaner after 30 days had passed. It wasn’t until later that I learned that it was the cycle of abuse that was playing out.

I grew up with this for 20 years. We left on Mother’s Day four years ago. He ranted and screamed. He told my brother (18 at the time) that it was his fault the family was falling apart. He told us he knew what God felt like being crucified on the cross. I thought he was going to kill us. That night we slept in my full size bed, me, my brother, my mother, and our two dogs. We slept facing the door because we didn’t know what he was going to do. He had access to weapons, I thought I was going to die. When we did left he harassed us constantly. He called, texted, Facebook messaged us. He had friends call and show up at the safe house we were at to tell us that he was going to kill himself and that it was my brother’s and I’s fault if he did. The first birthdays my brother and I had after we left he texted me on my brothers birthday. That’s right, 21 years and he still didn’t know my birth date.

When I was 20, months before this happened, I went to a therapist. I knew that I was depressed, but I assumed it was because I hadn’t been rehired for my summer job. My therapist told me that I was quote: “Reacting like a battered woman” (I was still identifying as a woman) and that I was in fact, being abused. This was such a shock for me, I assumed it was normal to grow up that way. I have depression, anxiety, and PTSD from the things I grew up dealing with.

The first year we left I was home alone on Christmas Day. Todd showed up and tried to get into the house. I managed to close and lock the doors before he could, and called my aunt. I hid in the hallway, away from all the doors and windows, and had a panic attack. My aunt finally showed up and he was gone. Ever since then I’ve been really nervous during this time of year.

Now this part is harder for me to type out. I love my mom. She was supposed to be the one parent I had that cared for me. The one that loved me unconditionally. The adult that would never hurt me. I love my mom. But I am finding now that what I thought of her is not true. She often backed up Todd in the things he did. She has called me fat for all of my life. She supported him when he took me outside once and had me hold a bag of 50 lb dog food and tell me that I needed to lose that weight (I was 14). She has had me on a diet since I was 12. Last summer she told me I was too fat to fit on an airplane. This is patently untrue. She has made fun of my panic attacks, even the ones she saw and heard over the phone. Recently she has begun to try to control my finances. She still will keep me from eating food, only allowing me one meal a day, trying to make me lose weight. I’m 25.

Two years ago around this time (near my birthday, which is January 17th if you’re interested in that in a post like this) I came out to her as non-binary. She cried for hours. She told me that God wouldn’t have made me that way. She asked if I was going to cut off my chest. She told me that she couldn’t “lose her baby girl”. After she was done crying she made me promise her I had been lying to her about it. I’m still living with her.

This year I’m graduating. I’m going to graduate under my preferred name, the one I’ve been secretly going by without her knowing. I’m going to be publishing my thesis under that name as well. I’m going to have to come out to her in under a month. In 25 days to be exact. Three days after my birthday. She’s going to react in two possible ways. She will either refuse to call me by my name or pronouns (if this happens I don’t want to have to live here anymore) or she will kick me out. Either way I will no longer be living in the house that I have called my safe space since leaving Todd.

Now at this point you’re probably asking “Denver, why are you spilling your guts on tumblr? Well, first, I do know I can be a lot to handle. I can be awkward, and a bit weird. But I also know that here I can be myself. Second, I usually would call my friend, but she’s with her family now and they’re similar to mine, and she can’t call while she’s with them. And she’s like 90% of my impulse control.

Third, and most importantly, I want people who are out there to know that it’s going to be ok. If I can get out of Todd’s house then I can do anything, and so can you. It’s not going to be easy. My brain still will tell me it’s my fault, and that I deserved the abuse. But you have to know that it’s going to get better. It’s tough. Planning and packing for a move that my family doesn’t even know about has got to be the toughest thing I’ve ever done. But I’m tired of living for other people. I can and will be myself. I cannot live for anyone else. I will be me. If anyone else is experiencing this, I’m here. I see you. If you need to talk, message me. It’s going to be ok.

#thank you for reading #and thank you all for helping me when I need it #I really appreciate it #you can reblog or like if you want #you can do this fam #tw: emotional abuse #tw: child abuse #tw: mental health #tw: suicide threats #tw: weight #tw: depression #tw: ptsd #tw: anxiety #tw: panic attack #todd tag

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thatmultifandomhoe · 6 years

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Strawberry Cream and BBQ - 5

Pairing: Hybrid Hoseok and Human Reader

Overview: Your best friend knows she can count on you for anything, so when she asks you to watch her hybrid while she’s gone for a study abroad trip for four months, you can’t say no. But when these four months are over, things have changed in a way no one expected.

Word Count: 1,790

Genre: Hybrid AU, Fluff, Future smut, Angst, Best friends to Lovers

Warning: None.

Master List

Sneak Peak - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15 - Part 16 - Part 17 - Part 18 - Part 19 - Part 20 - Part 21 - Part 22 - Part 23 - Part 24 - Part 25 (Final) - Move in Day: A SC&BBQ Drabble

©thatmultifandomhoe Do not repost, translate, or use my stories without permission.

By the time dinner was done, Hoseok had, to his preference, erased as much of Johnny’s scent that he could. Apparently, it was nonexistent and even if there was anything remaining, it would most certainly be gone by the end of the four months. If Johnny for some reason came around to visit, he’d get hit with the smell of Hoseok like a truck on a highway.

After that he disappeared into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him. That was another thing. Normally he always kept his door open when he stayed over. But he had scampered into his room and had been there ever since, leaving you to a quiet apartment that you had been positive would be filled with laughter and Hoseok’s voice.

You took a sip of your third coffee, leaning against the fridge for a moment. Everything was ready to eat. The high counter was set for two, the windows were now closed and the heat was on, and Hoseok was still hiding. He had been in there for hours. Sighing, you put your mug next to your plate and stood outside his door. He had to be hungry at least.

“Hoseok,” you called out, lightly knocking on the door. Faintly you heard some shifting behind the door, but he didn’t unlock it. “Dinner’s ready. I made hamburgers, and my tuna casserole salad that I know you love.” It was a weak attempt to get him out, but in your defense, you had already planned out tonight’s meal in advance after agreeing to have him stay. It was his favorite meal of yours and it made sense to make it on his first night. You just wanted to make him comfortable about the long stay.

Only silence greeted you from his room, making you wonder if he was even still in there. You raised your hand to knock again, but at the last moment decided against it and stepped back. You weren’t going to force him to come out if he didn’t want to, he was a grown adult after all. Walking back to the kitchen, you took out your phone and scrolled through your music. It was one thing to eat alone, but eating in silence was something you were not going to do. In seconds pop music was softly playing and you set it on the counter, fixing a plate and sitting back down just as quickly. You only glanced back once, but when you only saw the wooden door staring at you, you pressed your lips together and began to eat.

Twirling the fork, you rested your cheek against your knuckles, absentmindedly pushing the casserole around. All you kept thinking about was how angry he looked. It wasn’t like you swore off men in front of your friends at some point in your life. Dating wasn’t the most important part of your life, but there had been a few guys you had relationships with. They even met your friends and had been praised about. But none of them were like the relationship Colin and Sue had. Granted, you weren’t looking for a snob of a boyfriend, but you wanted the part Sue had. The part where butterflies came alive in your stomach at the touch of your boyfriend, or the soft smile that randomly appeared when she thought about him, and how her eyes seemed to glow when she was looking at him.

You wanted to love someone and to be loved.

None of the men you dated made you feel that way, or you were putting in all the effort and they contributed negative zero after a while. So, you cut them loose. You cried, watched those stupid romantic comedies and muttered about how love was stupid to the TV screen, lived in your comfiest clothes, aka your pajamas, ate a bunch of junk food, and eventually, got over it.

It was the circle of life.

Hoseok knew that. He had been there for every heart break after he joined the group. You always told Sue when you broke up with an ex. Sometimes she would come over and join you in your grief, but typically she called to comfort and reassure you that not all guys were losers.

It was always within five minutes of the phone call ending that there was a knock at your door and upon opening it, found Hoseok standing there. A bag of junk food in one hand, and two cartons of your favorite ice cream in the other. He watched the movies with you, was the shoulder you cried on when the tears came out and after some time, would barge into your apartment and bedroom to tell you that you smelled funny and needed to shower and get dressed.

As much as Sue was your best friend, Hoseok was more than just your best friend, he was your rock. Your everything.

Which made it harder for you to comprehend why he acted that way. He never did when he smelled whatever lingering scent your exes left. After breakups he would say they smelled of desperation and asshole; it never failed to make you at least smile for him. Maybe it was because this time…this time it was a male hybrid. Someone he’d never been introduced to before. You hadn’t mention seeing anyone so he probably hadn’t prepared himself.

Sighing, you took another bite of your hamburger, a pickle sliding onto your plate with a sad plop. You tossed it into your mouth and was wiping your fingers on a napkin when you heard a door opening up. You pretended to not notice, preferring to let him make his own presence known. Which was harder than you expected. You wanted to turn around and apologize for not realizing that Johnny’s scent would have made him react that way. At the same time, a part of you wanted an apology. You were an adult woman, you were allowed to be with whoever you wanted, hybrid or human.

Without making any rash movements, Hoseok came up to your side, silently standing next to you with his head down. You could see his tail was lowered and his ears were to his sides. It was the opposite of the Hoseok that you knew and loved, and you didn’t like it. You missed your smiling Hobi who was happy and got excited at the mention of his favorite food. You put your fork down and wiped your mouth and fingers, turning to look at him.

Hoseok lifted his head, his brown eyes watery as he swallowed. He opened his mouth but closed, looking conflicted as he repeated this actions a few more times. Frustration was apparent with his own lack of words, the only sound he made was a sad whine. “I’m sorry Strawberry,” he finally spoke.

You simply raised an eyebrow, not speaking just yet.

He caught the message you were sending and continued on. “I shouldn’t…I shouldn’t have gotten angry. I didn’t want too, but as soon as I caught his scent…” he lowered his gaze as if he was ashamed with himself. “It’s a crappy excuse using my hybrid genes for acting that way, but it’s true. All I could think about was protecting you. Even though he’s obviously not a stranger to you, he was to me and I felt the urge to keep you safe. That’s not my place though. I’m Sue’s hybrid, not yours.”

Licking your lips, you reached out and gently tugged on his hand so he would look at you. “Hoseok, you may not be my hybrid, but you’re still my best friend.” You kept your voice soft but firm, wanting him to understand that you saw him as not just a hybrid, but as a person. As someone you wanted in your life. “And I accept your apology.”

“You do?” His head lifted some more and his ears perked up, hope filling his eyes again. “But I…I acted like some controlling prick.”

His wording made you smile and you shook your head. “No Hoseok. You were only doing what was instinct for you. You’re here almost as much as I am. If I remember correctly from that Hybrid 101 class I took, someone encroached on your territory and you were only trying to protect what’s yours. It’s literally a part of your DNA, I can’t be angry for something you can’t control.” You gave his hand a squeeze and looked around at the food that was still out. Smiling, you tugged on his hand. “Now come on, fix up a plate and eat with me. I’m lonely.”

Hoseok glanced around, slowly smiling as he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around you. Unlike before, when he had been trying to calm himself, his touch was gentle and hesitant as he pressed the side of his head against yours. He slowly took a deep breath, his muscles relaxing as you hugged him back. “I promise to not act like that again. And if for some reason I do, just tell me.”

You nodded, only leaning back so that you were able to grab his plate and hand it to him. “Now eat. I made all this for you.”

With a giggle, he quickly began to build up a plate, having two servings at once to make up for the time he was hiding out in his room. It seemed like he only sat on the stool next to you and he already had his food devoured, going back for even another helping of your casserole.

“Any text from Sue?” You asked, scooping up another bite of your dinner.

He shook his head though. “No. I checked and there wasn’t anything. She probably won’t send a text until late tomorrow. The flight to Hong Kong is nineteen hours.” Wiping his hands with a napkin, he scratched his neck around the band of his collar Sue had gotten him. It didn’t look like a typical hybrid collar. It was a simple black piece of fabric that had a silver clasp in the back, a small silver dog charm rested on the base of his throat. Since it was easily confused with just a necklace, Hoseok carried his form stating that Sue had adopted him in his wallet at all times.

“Well, how about after we clean up, we just be lazy and binge watch Netflix. Does that sound good?” You were already clearing up, glancing over your shoulder to ask if he was going to have any more to eat.

“Strawberry, when doesn’t that sound good?”

This time you were the one giggling, and you were rewarded with the best thing of all. Seeing Hoseok’s heart shape smile.

It certainly was good.

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fanfic-writer-queen · 5 years

Text

[yoonmin] Two of us, Two children. _01_

Writer. Queen

NC-17

This fan fiction is RPS fan fiction, so if you don't like it, press Back.

Please understand if the sentence is awkward since I turned the translator.

YG : I'm sorry. I should have done better... I should've tried harder. This is how weak I am. I'm sorry.

JM : ......no. What's wrong with you... I should have done better... I'm... I'm sorry...

I couldn't hide my trembling voice. I can't even look at my his face. Maybe he knew that, but my brother gently covered my cheek and let me lift my face. My reflection on the eyes I met looked pitiful. like a loser. I bit my lips hard. Maybe he didn't like it, but my brother has been touching at my lips.

YG : Don't.

I looked up at my brother with only my eyes moving at his voice, which was short, intense and determined.

YG : Jimin, someday... If time goes by and I get stronger then... If we can meet again then, let's start again. Trust me. Until then... Let's break up.

JM : Yoongi... Hyung... No. I don't think I can do that. Let's just break up like this. Let's leave it as a good memory for each other. All you have to do now is be happy. You should be nice to parents...

Yoongi narrowed his eyes to my words. Sadly, we couldn't go any further. Knowing that, I had to clean up Yoongi now. Yoongi looked at me without saying a word, and gradually narrowed the distance between him and my face.

JM : Oh my gosh!

Jimin opened his eyes, raising himself up from his seat in surprise.

Why did I suddenly dream of the old days?

Jimin woke up shaking his head after wiping the sweat off his forehead as if he had a nightmare. I turned my head and looked at the clock, and it was pointing at six.

I should wake up Jihyeong.

Jimin, who left his room and came into Jihyeong's room, approached the child who was still in a dreamland, kissed him on the cheek and called his name.

JM : Jihyeong, you should go to school. Get up. Huh?

When Jimin woke him up patting the child's back as he soothed him, Jihyeong opened his eyes while making a mumbling sound. And he looked at Jimin and he said, "Dad!" Then he raised himself up, calling out Jimin. Jimin folded his eyes, smiled, and sent Jihyeong to the bathroom and headed to the kitchen. While setting up a simple breakfast, Jihyeong came out wiping his face with a towel to see if. Jimin said, handing over breakfast as Jihyeong sat at the table. Eat first. I'll go wash up. Then he headed to the bathroom. Jimin, who quickly took a shower and left the bathroom, said smiling at Jihyeong, who was watching TV after eating.

JM : You! You should get ready to go to school. Is it time to watch TV?

With his lips bulging out at Jimin's words, Jihyeong whined for a moment, but soon went into his room, changed his clothes and brought out his bag. Meanwhile, Jimin also changed his clothes to go to the company and came out of the room with a briefcase. Looking at the clock, the time was already at 7:50. Jimin thought he was going to be late, so he quickly took Jihyeong and left the house. Jimin got into the car and fastened his seatbelt to Jihyeong in the passenger seat and moved the car in a hurry. Upon arriving in front of the elementary school, Jimin kissed Jihyeong on the cheek as she got out of the car and said, giving her pocket money.

JM : Listen to your teacher, eat something delicious, and what time did your dad tell you to come home?

Then Jihyeong said.

Jihyeong : I'll be home in five! Call your dad when you get home!

JM : That's right. Now, go. Dad will go to work now.

Jihyeong : Dad, have a good day at work!

Jihyeong waved and ran to school with a smile resembling Jimin. Jimin looked at the Jihyeong with delight. Then I said, "Oh! I'm going to be late!" and got back into the car. Jimin, who arrived at the company just in time for work, scurried into the elevator. As he was barely breathing, the man next to him spoke to Jimin.

NJ(Namjoon) : Mr. Park, are you taking your child to school and going to work again today?

When Jimin turned to the voice calling him, he saw Namjoon looking down at himself with a playful face. Jimin smiled at the corners of his mouth, bowed his head and answered.

JM : Hello. Are you working now, too, Mr. Kim? Oh, my God. You're in at this hour.

NJ : Oh... I overslept a little today. Haha.

As he was chatting with Namjoon, the elevator quickly reached the floor where his department was located. When he got off the elevator and entered the office, Namjoon waved his hand and went to his seat and sat down. Jimin also sat in his seat, turned on the computer, and stretched. The beginning of each morning was always repeated like this. But I didn't feel bored. It was Jimin thinking about Jihyeong, who is only 10 years old, and thinking that I should work harder and make money. But something different happened this morning.

The manager who quit the company a few days ago. The manager's seat remained vacant. But I heard the chief's voice from this morning.

'Oh. Our department is still the best!'

The tone of his voice sounded like a person of high rank was coming. When I just peeked out of my seat, I saw someone walking next to the section chief. The employee next to him also got up from his seat, dressing up to see if he had seen it. Jimin also quickly got up from his seat and saw someone coming in with the chief. Then, unknowingly, he let out a small sigh.

JM : Ah...

When the man stopped in front of the staff, the section chief introduced the employees to say hello.

"This time, Min Yoon-gi, the manager of our department, hurriedly transferred from another company!"

YG : Nice to meet you. I'm Min Yoon-gi, the manager of this Treasury Department. Let's all try our best in the future.

With the advent of Yoongi, Jimin remembered the dream he had before he woke up in the morning.

Is this why you dreamed of the old days?

Jimin sighed inwardly and bowed his back. Yoongi was surprised to see Jimin bowing to him. However, Yoongi pretended to be fine and greeted other employees before returning to his seat. Jimin thought Yoongi had failed to recognize him and was shouting in his heart, "Thank God."

Jimin is now 34 years old.

It was the first reunion with Yoongi in 12 years.

Continued in the next episode.

#fanfiction #fanfic #bts fic #bts fanfic

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heresytrash · 5 years

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I’ll probably order food while I’m in line. I don’t think I want a repeat of last time.

#Going 12 hours without eating for five losers #lol

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xanthicantag · 5 years

Note

alright bro im gonna do all the ask so. U Know You're Doin Em Too

Hot read more since there’s so maaaaaany

1. if you were to have Hanahaki disease, what flowers would you cough up?

I feel like this is entirely based on who i’m feeling the one sided love for? (I googled Hanahaki disease and i’m all about that shit no doubt there) But like, maybe daffodils?

2. if someone were to catch Hanahaki disease for you, what flowers would they cough up?

Uh Roses motherfucker, you’re welcome

3. if you were any historic trope, what would you be? (i.e., the knight, the town baker, the witch of the forest, etd.)

Ok so like on the one hand I love lances, so fucking much, so I’m like big into Knights for that and like protecting people (and/or a beautiful prince cause like, you know), but I also really love the idea of just being like, a traveling fighter of some kind, leading a troupe of loveable idiots or being in a troupe as a loveable idiot. I want to be Iron Bull is what I’m trying to say I guess????? or like, Krem? who knows

4. tell us about your ideal battle outfit.

Ok so I’m torn again. Cause protection and ease of movement are super important, so like a breastplate and some kind of back protection, maybe a shield? or maybe a sick gauntlet arm like Ike from Fire Emblem cause he knows what’s up, and then some minor leg armor to keep the front of my thighs and calves safe and like a shield since those fuck am I right?? On the other hand: If you look like a Thot, the enemy is distracted and an easy target. I’m talking chainmail crop top, plate armor booty shorts, stupid looking heel shoes(?) for maximum thot energy, and of course a whip, either that i use or just have for the thot energy.

5. what would you be a god/goddess of and what would people sacrifice to you?

I think like, a minor deity that helps people make small to mediumish choices (i.e. talk the left or right path, call or don’t call this person), and then like, a cute little charm that people just kinda crush or burn before asking about the choice feels good, feels organic.

6. name five iconic quotes that make you feel things.

Now, I don’t know a lot of quote to be honest, but here’s some paraphrased stuff:

“Now that larping exists dnd is like, not the least cool thing to do”- Travis McElroy

“Yeah I have a pickle allergy, what about it *Pickle eating sounds*” -Me, often

“I fucked your dad” -Me during a quiplash game? And often yeah I’ll admit this

I don’t remember what’s said, but the scene in the Count of Monte Cristo where he just shows off all his sick skills to be like “Yeah I’ll murder the fuck out of your homeboy if he tries to step up to me”.

“All Magicians are inherently inclined to kill” -That unraveled about Megaman robots who get sentience

7. scythe, battle axe, broad sword, spear or trident?

Ok so like, Scythe for formal occasions/when I want to just look good cause I think their a sexy as hell weapon, at me if you want to be I know I’m right. Battle Axes are cool and like, really useful during a siege since you can easily bust stuff down with it and it lets you cut spears in half so you look dope as hell, like, Hector of Ostia if you’re out there, yes you’re correct. Broad Swords are like, just in general really good, you can use it in a duel, a battle, a coronation, magic rituals if you’re really feeling fancy, the list is just endless, a real classic all purpose weapon. Spears are for fucking losers, fuck you if you use a spear sword fight me like a fucking real fighter or get out of here none of this reach bullshit. Tridents are like spears but just, inherently sexier? You know? Like 1 point is stupid and boring, but 3? that’s some good shit. But really fuck all these weapons whips are lances are where it’s at yes feel free to at me again.

8. what combination of natural scents would you use as perfume?

Now this i have like, actually no idea for, but like, just tons of flowers. I just take like a fistful of flowers and rub them on my face.

9. ancient scrolls or leather-bound books?

Oh you know I’m about that leather-bound book life! Fuck A scroll, that is just a piece of paper that is going to tear and be illegible in like 5 years. A nice bound book though? *Chefs kiss*

10. describe yourself as if you were a storm.

A summer rain. It comes in quickly and is gone by the turn of the hour. A brief respite during the dry season, and gone before it can become a disaster.

11. what type of flower (other than a rose) would you offer someone you were trying to court?

First of all op, get the fuck off my back Roses or nothing. Secondly a big sunflower.

12. honey in milk or cinnamon in tea?

Um, neither??????????????????

13. cabin in the woods, apartment in the city or mansion in the suburbs?

Honestly an apartment in the city would be nice but like, living in the woods is the prime chance to be a local mystery.

14. curtains of beads or lace?

Probably lace? Do beads block light?

15. vocal or instrumental music?

I am a big fan of instrumental

16. describe your ideal fantasy outfit

Step one, big cape, it doesn’t touch the ground while on my shoulders but goes about mid calf. Step two, leather armor, it’s light and easy to move in, and provides good protection. Step three, Mask, nothing like flashy, just a plain black mask, preferably a full mask if i’ve got some magic to see with not my eyes, other wise like a typical masquerade mask

17. of all the fantasy races to ever exist, which one would you be?

Fuck. This is so hard. I want to be, so many. No you know what, fuck it. I wanna be a Dragonborn Tiefling hybrid, I’m talking cool horns, I’m talking sweet tail, you already know I can spit literal fire out of my face. Fucking try and get at me I dare you.

18. hard candy, fruit preserves or spice cake?

I love hard candy to just suck on, but my teeth do not.

19. show us an a picture of your ideal crown.

if you don’t think this crown fucks, get out of my face

20. tying your hair up using ribbon, yay or nay?

I’ve had my hair long enough for that like once, and I don’t really like tying my hair up tbh

21. an evening in the forest with elves, a night in the caves with vampires or a morning in the garden with fae?

Um. Bold of you to say I’m not hitting up all these parties??? Like def vampires first since the elven party is advertised to go for like 5 hours, but we all know it goes on for like 4 months and I can’t party that long as a mortal you know. And like you hit the fae up last since you literally are gonna be stuck there the rest of your life after one (1) round of truth or dare

22. tell us, in detail, about a curse a witch would put on you.

Like, in all honesty the biggest thing a witch could do to me via curse would just be to make my right arm like full unusable. Not gone or broken. Just like, it’s slow, I can’t always get it to fully hold onto something so it drops everything, there’s always a small feeling of discomfort, not pain just a minor annoyance, in the knuckles of the hand.

23. talking with sylphs or singing with nymphs?

I get kicked out of the nymph singing area after four seconds of

24. mint, rosemary, basil or sage?

I fucking go wild for the smell of basil don’t even try me

25. favorite childhood story? (doesn’t have to be a fairy tale)

I remembered Inkheart recently and like, I honestly really liked that book

26. tell us about an experience you’ve had that seemed unreal or supernatural. (doesn’t have to be scary)

Sophomore year of college, I realized that all the people around me were people I actually enjoyed spending time with, and it just felt so weird to be there after all the just nonsense that had happened up till then

27. would you rather have poison or healing ointment in your traveling pack?

healing duh? You think I’d ever remember i have the poison one? nope not me!

28. tell us three sayings that you live by.

Try and be a little nicer, unless they really don’t deserve it. Walk away sometimes. Eat food and don’t think about it.

29. vials or mason jars?

Oh get me those vials baby!

30. describe your ideal masquerade ball outfit (mask included).

OH HELL YES. Get me that suit, it’s a sweet dark red with rose colored vest underneath, the jacket and pants have flower vines on them that 100% connect to a big ass rose on the back of the jacket. The mask is more or less this guy:

31. splashing around in a river with mermaids or flying through the sky with harpies?

I can literally swim any day so let’s fly

32. what would you end up in the dungeon for?

Ok i didn’t understand this one at first so I’m keeping my initial reply below and the real one is: You know I beat some like high ranking knight or minor noble in a duel to humiliate them and no i didn’t think it through so here i am lol.

3 things: A talking magic weapon (Probably a sword but i’m down for other options). A certain someone is going in and I’m not letting him go in without someone to keep him safe. There’s dragon eggs that work like the Eragon dragon eggs and I am already waist deep in dead enemies getting one of those babies.

33. if you were a fairy, what color would your wings be?

Take a wild fucking guess

34. if you could have any magical item, what would it be?

God this is so hard, but I think a magic flower that when you pluck one if its petals you can undo a recent event, up to like ten minutes or so.

35. what song would the bards sing about you when you passed by?

I’ll say the Death of Me by Meg Myers

36. would you rather be a pirate or a king/queen?

God that’s hard, Like yeah pirates are cool but i’d love to be royalty and just get to do good shit for the people and also not have scurvy.

37. would you spend more time in the field of flowers, the tavern, the docks or the marketplace?

Hmmm, I think the Tavern as like the number 1, and then a tie for docks and field, and the marketplace in last since i hate crowded areas i need to buy things in

38. would you have a painting of yourself?

Only if I ever ride a dragon and then have a painting to immortalize the moment, and only if the dragon helps me paint it

39. what skill are you famous for?

I mean, people know I sword fight, fight fight, and program, so like, those? and I guess my sick dnd skills

40. if you could live any fairy tale, which one would you?

Fuck if I can think of one!

41. stained glass windows or fairy lights?

Ok Stained glass windows literally slap so like, you already know

#romanarcadia

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purplesurveys · 5 years

Text

474

Tumblr makes the spacing kinda weird by the end, idk why but I hope it gets better for everyone else who wants to take this haha.

ONE - HI THERE! It’s an intro!

What do most people call you? Robyn. In what month is your birthday? April. What country were you born in? The beautiful but politically miserable Philippines. Do you have siblings? How many, if you do? I do; I have two. I’m the eldest, but they aren’t that far off from me. Who do you live with? I’m still studying so I’m living with family for now – mom and dad, a sister and a brother, and a dog. I really want to move out in the next couple of years though.

Are you in a relationship? Yes. Do you go to school? As I said, yes. I’m in university but I’m supposed to graduate next year. What mood are you in right now? Well, I wrapped up my internship last week and my entire weekend was booked with stuff I did, so now I’m just super glad to be home and bum around after all that hectic-ness. I just had 8 hours of sleep and am feeling pretty well-rested right now. What does your shirt look like? I’m wearing a big-ass gray Knicks sweater that’s like 3 sizes bigger for me. What’s your zodiac sign? Taurus.

TWO - Your Appearance

If you could have plastic surgery on any one body part, what would it be?Boobs. They’re so abnormally small that I’m tired of having to waste what would have been completely bomb outfits just because of my chest.

Are you satisfied with your hair? It could have less baby hair, honestly. But I’m fine with it for the most part.

Do you have a hitchhikers or a straight thumb? It’s a straight thumb. My left pinky is quite crooked though.

What colour are your eyes? Dark brown.

Do you have any tan lines? No, I haven’t gone to the beach in a while.

How old do people usually think you are? I just asked this question to Gabie last week and she said that I look 15.

What about your appearance do you get complimented on the most? Face and my overall figure.

Are you comfortable with your weight? Sure, but it’s always worrisome when I get to the lower 90s.

Do you have any piercings or tattoos? Where? Yeah, just the basic earlobes piercings that my parents got for me when I was a couple of months old.

How tall are you? I am 5′1″ and a half. I’m shorter than 5′2″, that’s for sure.

THREE - True or False

I love winter. Neither true or false as I have never experienced snow. I think I’d love it though.

I have eaten meat in the past five days. True. Filipinos eat meat a lot.

I have painted a room in a house. False. My mom is so controlling over adult things like that so she hired people to do it to all our rooms.

I can whistle. True. I learned pretty early.

My keyboard is black. True-ish? The buttons are black, but the spaces between them are silver.

I have never bought something off an infomercial. True. My mom would be so furious because it would be her money anyway.

I own a snuggie / would like to own a snuggie. False.

I bite my pens / pencils. False. I do bite my straws though.

I wear glasses / contacts. True.

My nails are painted right now. False.

FOUR - Childhood Memories!

What was your all time favourite movie as a kid? THE GAME PLAN, without a shadow of a doubt. Watched that shit everyday through third and fourth grade. My runner-up would be High School Musical.

Do you still have your first pair of shoes somewhere? Doubt it. My mom isn’t big on memories like me.

Did you have anything you always dragged around the house, like a blanket?Nope. I did use my parents’ blanket as a cape some days, and other days it would be a gown train and I’d pretend I was the Queen, but I wouldn’t drag it because it would get dirty.

What toy did you play with the most? I was always into grownup stuff so I always got kitchen appliances, dollhouses, etc. I once had toys that mimicked a pizza restaurant and it had a pizza roller and it was super fun for me haha. Once I got a pretend cash register though it was game over for all these bitches.

Did you ever bring your favourite toys in the bathtub? We didn’t have a bathtub, but yeah we would bring in our toys when we would shower.

Did you used to take baths with siblings/cousins? ^ Ooh, barely missed it. Yes, we did.

Are you still friends with your best friends from long ago? A handful are still my best friends. I keep in touch with most of my batchmates from my high school because we’re all close and we’re family and there was generally very little drama – and if there was, it was easy to let go.

Do your parents ever tell you stories about how cute/silly you were? They have several stories, but I was mostly a quiet kid who didn’t like getting in trouble.

Did you go to the park often? What was a typical outfit for the 5-year-old you?Blouses with a girly pattern, denim jeans, and Nike rubber shoes. The top always has to be tucked in.

FIVE - FAVOURITES

Actor/Actress: Kate Winslet

Singer/Band/Both: Beyonce / Paramore

Chocolate: Reese’s

Toothpaste: ??? Whatever we have at home I guess?

Picture of yourself: Nah man, not doing that here.

Pair of sunglasses: I don’t have a favorite.

Vegetable: Broccoli!

Sandwich: Monte Cristo

Aspect of nature: Waterfalls

Word to say: “Literally”

SIX - Love Life ;)

Who was the first person to ever ask you out? No one’s ever asked me out before. Although I think that dude from one of my classes in sophomore year intended to…but I dunno. We were paired up together for this class and he wanted to spend time with me in a coffee shop after our work was done; I didn’t feel comfortable just being by myself so I told him in advance that I was gonna be bringing Gabie…never heard from him ever again :/

What does your ideal date consist of? Dinner somewhere nice (Italian or Japanese) should be enough for me.

What’s one thing your partner must be able to accept about you? I get sad and I’ll need loooooooong stretches of time alone some days.

Does your ideal person have any special talents? She can paint and draw. She doesn’t really share these with other people but she does with me.

Do your parents like the person you’re with? (Or the last person) My parents liked Mike and were convinced something was happening between us lmao. They don’t know about my relationship with Gabie yet.

Do you like pet names? Yes when it’s just the two of us. Publicly, I control myself, cos I know it annoys me when other people are too showy/vocal. Like I don’t call Gab pet names when we’re out with friends; and when we’re out at the mall or whatever, I’m not very physical other than holding her hand.

What is your age range? Same age. I can’t imagine dating someone younger or older, but then again this is because I haven’t had any other experience.

What is one attribute that your ideal partner must have? Sincerity.

When was the last time someone seriously said “I love you.” to you? This morning.

Have you ever been in more than one relationship at a time? No.

SEVEN - The wonderful world of the Internet!

What is your most used website? Probably Twitter. It’s the first thing I check everyday.

Do you play any online games? Other than playing on Y8 when I was younger, no.

Which chat program do you use most often? Messenger.

Facebook vs Myspace- which is better? I haven’t used Myspace in a hot minute, so I’ll go with Facebook.

Is there someone you met online that you’d like to meet in person? Yes, I’m still waiting to meet Aliyah. Girl is in BGC every single day but I can’t seem to grab lunch or dinner with her!

Have you ever sold something on Ebay or Craigslist? No.

Have you ever gone on Chatroulette? Or Omegle video? Yeah, when I was like 12 and curious about the Internet haha.

Are there any videos of yourself on Youtube? I don’t think so.

Mac or PC? Mac.

Have you ever Googled your name? I’ve Googled my username before, but not my name.

EIGHT - This or That?

Twilight or Harry Potter?

French fries or potato wedges?

Liquid ortape white out?

Digital or film camera?

Nail clippersor nail scissors?

Rock, paper, or scissors?

Beard or mustache?

Knee high or ankle socks?

Hockey or basketball?

Mr Clean or sponge and ‘the other leading cleaning product’?

NINE - Be cool, stay in school!

What subject are/were you best at? It’s always history, or social studies in general.

How old will you be when you graduate high school / how old were you? I was 18 when I graduated.

Isn’t there that point in the year when you stop caring so much? Yep, it’s usually when you’re a senior.

Do/did you have any really cool teachers? In UP? Absolutely. There’s a lot of shitty profs, but the cool ones are way too hardcore.

Who is/was your most strict teacher? Sir Ruel in my old school. Old man was and is such a fucking loser. Once had a comment about my breasts and I never forgot about it. Also kicked me and a bunch of other kids out of his class in fifth grade because we didn’t have crayons. He actually got booted by the school for a year because a parent complained about him, but he came back after.

Where do/did you sit at lunch? In high school, the cafeteria was too crowded so my friend group would hang out in our classroom, since most of us were classmates. Right now, lunch just depends on my schedule and where I happen to be by noon.

What do/did you do at recess? Catch up on homework I skipped the night before.

There’s always that one kid who no one really knows, right? LOL, yes.

Is/was your cafeterias food actually any good? It used to be good. Then they kind of hired this company to start making the meals starting junior year and the food was never as good again.

Do/did you have a stereotypical school, with all those cliques and such? You can say that. We had popular party kids, smart but still cool kids, soccer players, the basketball players who all turned out gay, kids who kinda just hovered in the middle, and those who were kinda brushed to the side were the theatre and anime kids.

TEN - Randomly Platypus.

Do you like your toothbrush really wet when you’re brushing your teeth? Not really wet. I just make sure I’ve put it under the running water before applying the toothpaste.

What song are you currently obsessed with? Not into anything at the moment.

What was the stupidest dare you’ve ever done? I hate dares, so I don’t do them haha.

Do you enjoy playing with tape? No?

What’s one word/phrase you say too much? LITERALLY. Which is a problem because most of the time, the things I associate the word with aren’t literal.

When was the last time you went trick-or-treating? 2017.

What did you last use a knife for? Haha, my orgmates were cooking up lunch and I volunteered to chop up the onions. Fun fact: First time to use a knife, ever.

When you open a pack of gum, why is everyone your best friend? Because gum is always a good idea.

What has been on your mind way too much? Completing my requirements for internship so I can submit them as early as possible.

Did you actually enjoy my survey? Sure. Categories are always fun.

#survey #surveys

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rolypolywl · 5 years

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Welcome to day 12!

Now, since we are doing three days a week, day 12 is the last day of week 4! That means that, at the end of today, we will have been doing this for ONE MONTH!

Yes! One whole month! We have done it!

So I want you to think back to the first day you started exercising with me. How long ago does that seem? Has the time flown by? Are you completely blown away that the month has ended already? Or has it been a struggle every day and week?

Either way, share your story with the hashtag, #FirstMonth! Tell me how it went!

Now, on to today’s topic!

Speaking of hitting our one month point, let’s talk about progress.

So, I have talked before about the importance of weighing and how you should also have non-scale victories.

On bodybuilding.com, registered dietitian Paul Salter, said this “The thing about weight is that it's really just one piece of the progress puzzle; it's not the piece. Exercise performance, appearance, measurements, energy level, body-fat percentage—all of these things indicate important changes, but you can't measure them as readily as weight.”

He asks these questions: “Have you found a routine that works for you? Do you feel like you're in control of your situation? Is your nutrition humming along, or is it a raging tire fire? Are you pushing yourself adequately, but also recovering adequately? These things are far more important than a single number.”

Today we’re going to talk about some of those other metrics for assessing your progress.

So, here are things you can look at, instead of just weight:

Appearance (Videos/Photos)

Measurements

Energy Level/Stamina

Exercise performance

Routine

Feeling of control

Pushing yourself adequately

Recovering adequately

Nutrition status

Fit of clothes

Body Fat percentage

That is shockingly more than I anticipated.

Appearance (Videos/Photos)

So, back at the beginning, I took a video of myself, showing my chub. I have stills from that video, so I have pictures of myself that I can compare to.

I’m using this for appearance, but you all should take pictures or videos too. I know it is hard, because you don’t want to have a reminder of yourself at this weight, and especially one without your big baggy concealing clothes. But it can be a good way to track your changes.

You can always take a mirror selfie, but you can get a better shot with a helper or using a timer and your phone.

Measurements

Now measurements, I also shared, and I’ll show them here.

I intend to do these once a month, so I’m not obsessing, but hopefully I’ll see some progress by the six month mark. And I’ll actually post that update on the first, next week, because we are a month in! Yeah!

I don’t expect my measurements to change too much just yet, at my one month check in, because I’m not doing any actual strength training to tone my body, and my nutrition isn’t there yet, but again, by that six month mark I’m hoping for some smaller numbers.

If you want to take some measurements, you’ll need a flexible tape measure. These come in sewing kits, and you can almost always find them in the dollar store or in the grocery store in the, like, emergency sewing area, with the patches for pants and stuff.

You don’t want to use a construction tape measure, even though it has some flexibility, because it is not as flexible as you need. Now, this is easier with a helper - and not a kitty helper like my baby - but someone like Roly Mama. She helped with mine. You want to make sure that your helper isn’t cutting off your circulation trying to get smaller numbers. And you don’t want to be flexing. Just hold your arm out, or prop your leg up on a chair or step, and let it be natural.

So that’s measurements. You can see the list of ones I did: neck, bust or chest, waist, hips, thigh, biceps, and calf.

Energy Level/Stamina

So, I will be the first to admit, that I currently get winded going up the stairs too quickly. When I was working at my old job, I had much better stamina because I was more active. I was walking every day, and I lived on a third floor walkup, and my bedroom was upstairs within my apartment, so I was using the stairs a lot. I had much better stamina then, though I was too stressed out to lose any weight.

So when I can walk up three flights of stairs without getting winded, I’ll know that my stamina is back up to where it was. And it might even get better!

Exercise performance

So, when I had more stamina, I was also performing better at exercise. I was walking 5Ks somewhat regularly - you might have noticed my 5K shirts - and though I was only walking, I was able to do it in under an hour and a half without dying. I even walked a couple of 10Ks. So I had much better stamina.

When I’m able to walk a 5K or up 4 flights of stairs without collapsing, I’ll know that my stamina is getting better - back to where it was when I was more active. My goal is to eventually be able to actually run a 5K and then a 10K, so I will be able to track how that improves.

With stamina and activity level, it is easy to set personal goals for yourself. And you can break them down into small chunks. Like, one flight of stairs without being winded. Then two flights, then three. Or walk a 5K, then walk a 10K, then run a 5K, etc. Set those small goals for yourself and see what you can achieve.

Right now, I complete this short workout on this bike, or I do an easy 30 minute walk, and my thighs are doing that tingly popping thing after. I will know my performance has improved when it takes 45 minutes or an hour to get that same level of tingles.

Routine

So routine can be a lot of things, like we talked about sleep routines and bedtime routines. There’s also the exercise routine. I’m doing the 3 times a week, on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and I hope you’re doing it along with me on the days that work for you.

And I’m doing the No Zero Day May, walking every day. I’m establishing these routines, and as I keep them up, I’ll be able to keep track of my progress. A calendar or app is great for this!

Feeling of control

This, I think, ties more into nutrition and eating. When you have that out of control food feeling, which I’ve had before. Since I haven’t tackled my nutrition yet - that’s coming, but I don’t want to get overwhelmed by starting everything at once.

So, in that respect, I’m not feeling overwhelmed, so I’d say I’m feeling in control.

Pushing Yourself Adequately/Recovering Adequately

These kind of go together; are you pushing yourself enough to feel it, and are you not pushing so hard that you’re dead. And I’d say yes! I’m getting those tingles from working out, but I’m not dead every day. And I’ve only had to take a nap after our walk twice - both early days!

Nutrition Status

So, again, I’m not focused on this one yet, but I will be getting to it soon, and we’ll cover it then. But again, taking “before” assessments and then tracking it throughout!

Fit of Clothes

So, my lowest adult weight, I was pretty comfortably wearing medium tops and size 12 jeans. I’m currently in 2-3XL and 24W. That is scary to say out loud. But, again, I’m looking to change that. So I know that, when I can fit back into my 22W jeans, and when a 2X is baggy instead of comfortable, I will have made progress.

I have those goal clothes that I’m waiting for, but, I’m not setting myself up for failure by having only my size 12s and mediums as goals. I’m aiming for each next size of jeans and tops. I will throw a party when I hit 2XL, and 22W jeans. Because that is a huge step for me!

Don’t only pull out those clothes from five or eight years ago! Set yourself up for success with small increments! One size down at a time is the way to lose 12 sizes!

Body Fat Percentage

So, this one is the hardest to do at home. In fact it might be impossible. You see on shows like the Biggest Loser - in the later seasons - they would do this thing where they dip you underwater to find your body fat percentage and all these crazy things.

Ain’t nobody got time for that!

But, there is an almost do-it-at-home yerself way!

So, I found this thing, actually, because they advertised at my old job, and I found it really helpful. The company is called Body-Comp, and you can go to their store, but also they have this big, mobile bus, which they take to places, and you can go there.

Like I said, they came to my work the first time, but they also go regularly to gyms and places like that. And you don’t have to be an employee or a member of the gym or whatever, because it is out in the parking lot in their bus.

So you can go at any time, and it only takes 15 minutes.

What you do, is you lay on this table, and this scanner just goes over your head, takes about 5-6 minutes for that part, and it does a full body scan. A DEXA scan.

Then you get this great doc emailed to you with your scan and all these breakdowns. And yes, I am going to do the scary thing and share mine with you.

So right at the top, it shows your body fat percentage, your mass (weight), and how much of you is fat tissue or lean tissue. Now, one of the big things is when you think about “oh, muscles weigh more than fat” - well this breaks it down for you. You know how much weight is muscle and how much is fat.

So you can see that, in March, when I did this, I weighed 272.7 that day, and my body fat was at 55.5%. So I had 151.4 pounds of fat tissue, and 115.4 pounds of lean tissue. And that fat tissue one is almost my weight loss goal. My goal for my height to be comfortable in my body is 150 pounds, assuming that I don’t really have muscles built up, though “officially” I should be 130 for my height. So from 270 to 150 is 120 pounds to lose, or, if I’m going for the 130, that would be 140 to lose.

And that’s basically - I have 150 pounds of fat, and I should lose basically all of that. 120-140 of that 150.

So, the other thing it does is give you this picture of your body.

So you can see the yellow is fat and gunk, and the orange is lean. So you can see, you gotta have something positive. And my calves are mostly muscle, not fat. I’m proud of that, darn it.

I think this is a remnant of when I was doing those 5Ks, but my calves are on fire! You have to be happy about something on your body, and for me that’s my calves!

As you scroll through your breakdown, you can also see where your fat and lean tissues are distributed, your arms, legs, trunk, etc. And you can see how much is Android or Gynoid fat and what those ratios are. And the ratio should be less than 1.0, and mine is 9.8. So I’m there! Barely, but I’m in the right ratio range! And people often tell me that they don’t believe that I weigh as much as I do, because I look very proportional.

So yeah, there it is in math.

So, there are more things on here, but I covered the important ones.

And like I said, you can go back every 6 or 12 months and see how you are improving. Now, going to one of their mobile busses is cheaper than their store, but it does still cost $49 a pop. But, you can buy a four-pack for only $175 and save yourself $20. And you use them later.

So you can get those incremental check ins to see how you’re doing.

Now, on a side note, Body Comp also offers allergy and food sensitivity testing; DNA testing, Metabolic tests, those tests where you run on the treadmill and breathe into the hose thingy…

They have a bunch of different things you can get a baseline on for yourself, and then check back in again.

So, if you can, check them out!

Now, small caveat, Body Comp is based in Southern California, so if you aren’t there, they won’t be convenient for you. There’s another company, DexaFit, which has more locations around the US and Canada, but I don’t have personal experience with them. But I assume that the process is similar.

But! I bring them up, because you can use their site to get an idea of what all these things are called, and what they do, and then you can then find a resource in your area.

So, that’s our last metric - body measurements.

In conclusion, there are a lot of ways to track your process, not just weigh ins. Check out all of these and make a plan for how to track the metrics that are important to you!

This has been Roly Poly Weight loss. As always, I am your host, Roly Poly. Remember that weight isn’t the only metric. Use the hashtags #Progress, #Measurements, and #BeforeTogether to share your different metrics!

And please join me next time!

#FirstMonth #Progress #Measurements #BeforeTogether #RolyPoly #WeightLoss #WeightLossJourney #losing weight #weight loss #Exercise #Fitness #Health #Healthy #health & fitness

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