#Gimly

[firstruleofmethclub]

Ranking the Primarchs specifically by how good an idea it is to name your children after them:

1. Konrad Curze. This is great because it’s the cool name of a guy I love, and a multi-faceted reference, but basically just a name you’d see in the wild already. I think Konrad is better spelt with a K than a C anyway, and if you’re worried about the last name, you can either go to its inspiration and use “Kurtz”, or simply substitute with your own!

2. Rogal Dorn. Now I’m not a fan of the character, but the name is a great one-two punch. It’s phonetic, it’s unique enough to be noteworthy, but not bizarre enough to cause the kid too many problems. You can substitute Dorn for your own family name, but honestly with this one, I recommend you keep it. Maybe change your own family name to match.

3. Magnus the Red. Now if you’re putting a “the” in your kid’s name, and following it by a “2nd”, you are already causing them enough grief, but if you’re putting anything other than a number there, it’s gonna be ten times worse. That said, Magnus in isolation is both a great name, and a real one that won’t turn too many heads. It’s maybe a little pretentious, but if the greatest chess player in the world can’t be pretentious, then who can be?

4. Lorgar. Basically just the poor man’s Rogal Dorn, naming your scion Lorgar will give you the chance to have them carry your own surname, instead of a fictional one, but it’s unlikely this will result in one as iconic as our VIIth or VIIIth Primarchs. While rating these, I tried to think how a teacher doing their first roll call of the new class would handle reading the name, and I think they could handle “Lorgar”, and your kid probably will suffer only minor teasing for it at absolute worst.

5. Vulkan. A pretty legit name! The thing here is, everyone will be assuming you named your kid after an entirely different space thing. And the ones who see it written will think you don't even know how to spell it right. My partner thought me putting Vulkan this high was stupid, but then I read out some of the other names that are coming up and she was suddenly much less bothered by Vulkan making #5.

6. Horus. Everyone who hears it spoken will assume it's "Horace", and everyone who sees it written will assume you named them after Egyptian mythology. But still not a bad get.

7. Jaghatai Khan. Now this one’s just a variant spelling of a famous guy from actual human history. That might get noticed by a few people, and some others might have a lot of trouble sounding it out at a glance, but honestly, if my roommate can order pizza exclusively using the name “Atilla the Fun”, you can name your kid after Chagatai Khan.

8. Lion El’Johnson. This one is a mixed bag. I’m often thinking, you could just take the first name from a lot of these, and ditch the surname, but that’s a bad idea here. If you pull straight from the inspiration for the first Primarch, and name your child Lionel Johnson, you’ll be fine. But if you’re at a kid’s birthday and your poor baby has to introduce themself as “Lion”, that’s gonna cause a world of hurt for them real quick.

9. Leman Russ. Now honestly, taken as a whole, this one’s actually a pretty bad idea. Anybody who sees that you called your kid “Leman” will think you wanted them to have a bad life. "Lemon" might not the most wounding of jibes, but the real reason this one gets even as high as a middling rating is because if you name your kid “Leman Russ X” on paper, and just call them “Russ” in day-day-operations, like people do with middle names, that’s actually not bad.

10. Mortarion. Mortarion is a pretty cool name, that belongs to a man whom it suits very well “Death guy, the guy of death”. For sure. But I want you to imagine this: You’re a single parent, you’re at the park, there’s another good looking single parent by the bench. You’re ready to make your move. You help your kid down from the monkey bars and make your way over, holding their hand. You say “Hey, I see you around here a lot. I’m just here with my child, Mortarion”. You see where I’m going. +1pt for Morty.

11. Roboute Guilliman. This is one that almost seems like a real name. Almost. I’ve come to this list with a very Western-focused mindset, just because that’s where I live, but no matter where in the world your child grows up, you’re putting them through pronunciation hell by naming them Roboute Guilliman. +1pt for sharing the very generic nickname of just “Rob” or “Bob” though. This is a genuinely bad idea, but naming your progeny after the big blue boyscout is gonna seem like a great idea compared to basically the very quick slide downhill we have from this point on.

12. Fulgrim. Has definite potential as a last name, but the teasing potential is high while the resemblance-to-an-actual-name factor is low. Saving grace is its mercifully low syllable count of 2.

13. Sanguinius. Could make a great last name, maybe even middle name, but it's an absolute mouthful to put on a kid as a first name. A similar situation to the above, but with twice the syllables. Very little nickname potential.

14. Omegon. One of the somewhat subtler references, not even everyone with a passing knowledge of Primarch lore is aware that this guy is one. But this mainly just means people will think you named your spawn in anticipation of your soon-to-be-released laundry detergent, instead of a secret space baby. I’m only gonna defend this if you had twins, and unfortunately, you’re probably need to name the other one #16. +1 pt for “Meg”.

15. Corvus Corax. Definitely the one that’s most likely to have people asking “What did you name your kid after?” They might not know it’s a Primarch, but they know it’s some dumb nerd shit. Alliterative names are fun though, and they sound like they could make friends with Michael Corvin in class for “Names we rejected for the dude from The Crow”.

16. Alpharius. While certainly not the worst case scenario for pronunciation, it’s definitely gonna be a struggle for your young’n. The real kicker here is that you’ve named your child after a nigh-immortal demigod from the far future, and you’ve managed to pick not only one of the ones that dies, but you haven’t even picked one with a cool name. If we’re throwing practical out the window, it may as well at least not be lame. +1pt for “Alf”. Mm. Maybe make that half a point.

17. Angron. Much like the real Angron, this one seems like you're setting your child up to be saddled with rage issues. +1pt for “Ron”.

18. Ferrus Manus. Comes with a built-in surname, which could be a pro, but more likely it just causes problems, especially when that surname is “Manus”. Even if you don't use it, you're still stuck with Ferrus as a bad first name. You could make "Rus" a nickname out of it I guess, but there's Leman Russ above, which is just a much better use case for that argument on all fronts, including the extra s.

19. Perturabo. Not a great guy, very little nickname potential, directly attached to the works of a real-world insane cultist, doesn't sound too good as a new name, big struggle with these letters that look like they're about to all spell different things, and to me, Perturabo as a word sort of always evoked… I dunno. Tantrums and illnesses. Not something you want for you and yours, I’m sure. Also, “Perty”? Eugh.

20. The Purged. Seems like it'd be tough to get past the naming convention requirements of most countries.

21. The Forgotten. Has the same problems as the above, but it's much cooler to be purged than to be forgotten. Plus, this would be super rude, no? Like, Bart from the Simpsons out in the rain not being picked up by his dad, but that's your NAME.

[jackbootsinc]

[firstruleofmethclub]

Grew up playing jacks in like, the '00s.

god forbid 5000 year old girls do anything

[torchwood-99]

While it was a longshot, I do appreciate that Gimli did try chopping the Ring up with an axe first. It was worth a shot, and they'd have all felt like bloody idiots if they took the Ring all the way to Mordor only to find out it could have been chopped up by an axe all along.

[fabulous-feanorians]

[screenshot] it was too perfect

[thetiredprometheus]

lotr but nobody knows anything about the other races

Pippin thinks Legolas is a woman

Boromir is convinced that the hobbits are all 15 max

Everyone thinks that Merry and Pippin are twins, except for Legolas, who is convinced the hobbits are quadruplets

Sam thinks that Aragorn, Boromir and Legolas don't have to eat to survive

Legolas doesn't mention things he sees or hears because he thinks the others have noticed them too and just assumes they have a plan

Pippin complains that he is hungry and Legolas just gives him a handful of grass. Pippin is so confused that he just takes it, and now Legolas tries to figure out what hobbits can eat by just giving them random shit, like

Things the hobbits have accepted and likely eaten later (a list by legolas)

-Grass - Leaves

-Stones - a hair tie

-A feather - one of Gimli's shoes

The hobbits and Gimli just assume that this is what elves eat

[firstruleofmethclub]

Whenever they were talking about a hypothetical person, a person they didn't know the name of, or a person they couldn't remember the name of (ie. the cases in which somebody might refer to a person as "Whatsername", "Whatsisface", "Joe Bloggs", "Joe Schmoe", etc.) my parents would always use "Slobodan Milošević" so I just grew up using Slobodan Milošević as a placeholder name. Exclusively.

It wasn't until I was genuinely like 17 or something that I found out Slobodan Milošević was not only a real person, but was in fact a genocidal dictator who was in power AT THE TIME I LEARNT TO USE HIS NAME AS A PLACEHOLDER.

[firstruleofmethclub]

Seeing a stalk of corn in cornfield on screen watching TV-

countrygirlsmakedocountrygirlsmakedocountrygirlsmakedo

-SHUT UP BRAIN

[jackbootsinc]

[autistook]

my new favorite Gimli picture

[firstruleofmethclub]

A lifetime ago, I lived with the (non-1st-degree) family of the guy who invented the Flow Hive (I say "the guy", it was almost certainly him and lots of other people, but it was so long ago that the fact that seeing this post triggered this memory at all is wild, but I apologise for not recalling who & how many were involved).

I was dating his cousin and we went to his property for Xmas during a period of my life where I was massively struggling with my mental health (esp. anxiety) and I had a genuine nervous breakdown when my car got bogged during a big downpour and I lost the safe-hold thought of "You'll be fine, you can leave if you need to" and it was like still to this day one of the absolute worst anxiety attacks I've had in my life. The family very kindly managed to organise to get my car towed out of the mud but I still left early to go back interstate and my partner of the time came with me, so I basically ruined Xmas for her & her family and still feel garbage about it to this day.

Anyway that's my story about bees.

WATCH: Honey on Tap: A New Beehive that Automatically Extracts Honey without Disturbing Bees [video]

[dudja]

[aspenrockymountainhigh]

[firstruleofmethclub]

Tagged by @sorikas to post 5 songs that have been in my rotation recently.

Sorry it for taking like 2 weeks to post and also for initially trying to tag you as krtza. Like the deadnaming of tumblr URLs.

It seems silly to only have one Dreamkid song on this list seeing as my recent rotation has been like 95% his songs over and over. Which is especially wild seeing as he's only got like 10. But as representative of kind of the whole deal I will just use this.

2. I finished listening to a Monster of the Week actual play campaign recently, and the Keeper said he was inspired by the music of Wojchiech Golczewski (which I'm very confident he said wrong every single time), and eventually I thought "fuck it" and looked him up, and it turns out I actually knew some of his work from this exact movie, a movie which, I explicitly remember the music being the best thing about.

3. I watched a movie recently, and I honestly for the life of me can't remember what that movie was, but it had this song in it, which I immediately looked up after watching the movie (I don't think the movie was very good, but this song has hit one of my top listens in a very short amount of time because of it).

4. After being on my "My Mix" autogenerated playlist thing last year a whole bunch, I Think We're Alone Now actually did disappear from it a couple months ago. Unfortunately I noticed that and so I hit it until it came back, now it gets like, daily play again.

5. E.M.M.P.'s tracks seem like they would be great music to put on in the background while you're playing Warhammer (insert "I love Warhammer games. Love to actually play one one day" meme). But either way, when I want something instrumental, I listen to Dreamkids instrumental tracks... But when I DON'T do that, I listen to E.M.M.P., and this is probably the one that gets the most play at the moment.

I taaaaag @quannaix, @endreal, @gelfling-gxrl, @frangipanick & @spaghettithighs - yes. Five feels like the appropriate number of people to harrass for this.

[firstruleofmethclub]

For one of my best friend's 21st birthday parties, me and her and a couple of other mates booked a hotel in Melbourne for a long weekend. While we were there, the birthday girl swung by a JB Hi-Fi or something and bought two DVDs to watch in the hotel during hangovers and such.

The first was a disc of Jerry Springer outtakes.

The second was this fucking thing - the whole series.

(This was the same long weekend I accidentally took heroin on and I honestly don't know which soured the memory more.)

[jackbootsinc]

Updated to split the MCU into a film list and a television list.