#GIRL YOU STOLE HIS EYEBALLS

[suckinitup]

twirls a finger in my hair. hey have i mentioned that i really love corruption arcs hey have i mentioned that

[pinkslaystation]

[Part 2] Unimpressive yet Impressed.

König and gn!Reader

Part 2 to Impressive yet unimpressed! In which König attempts to reconcile with you after his attack. TOOK 4EVER but part 2 is here teehee fuck midterms Word count: 4.3k; translations in purple, shout out google translate.

König sat on the cold plastic chair beside your hospital bed in the infirmary, for what felt like months. 2 to be exact.

The room was empty at 2 A.M on a grey Sunday. Of course it was, it was 6 hours past visiting hours ended, but König couldn't help but enter through the infirmary's window, tiptoe past all the injured, asleep soldiers, and rest on the chair, watching your chest painfully heave up and down, with ragged breathes.

His first sane thought was to break into the respected infirmary, where he remembers laying after broken bones, with you besides him. It makes sense for him to return the favour.

I mean...he's the reason you're in a coma in the first place...

After attempting to check up on you, he'd overheard the doctors' order: You see a poorly dressed mammoth of a man, you tell security immediately. The poor girl's distressed enough, mentioned the Colonel's name and her heart rates quicken to an alarming rate.

That broke his heart. He loved having such an affect on you, yes! But in a 'cutesy-butterflies-in-my-stomach' way, not a 'panic-attack-about-to-die-omfg-scary-man-alert' way!

So he sits here, patiently waiting for the sun to rise, so he can exit the infirmary as quietly as possible, and sneak into, yet again, another room. Yours. Where he lays in your bed. Using your expensive floral soaps. Ate your food. Anything to feel like you were with him again.

He swears he sees your fingers shift, closed eyes twitching ever so gently, but according to your files (which he stole), stated that you 'were in a worse state that before, slowly recovering although there's limited hope,' and ah 'one of the worst non-mission on-base injuries seen'.

His actions caused great harm, I mean look at you. But one would say his plan worked.

News spread like wildfire, with almost everyone talking about the combat room incident. Soldiers murmured everywhere he walked.

König means King you know, bro lives up to the name.

He's a fucking beast, beating her up like that, mans got no emotion i swear.

Heard he's getting promoted for that stunt he pulled...

And indeed he was getting more recognised. His once slow forgotten image was roaring in popularity, with his higher-ups signing him up for more missions than one should be given.

"It's a great opportunity Colonel. I mean you've improved this month! Like you're on steroids or sum'" König finds himself being cornered in the hallway of the barracks by his superior, cheeks wet and reddening under this mask, after sneaking out of your room one morning.

His superior's eyes glisten cunningly, "And uh...those moves, yeah. Impressive." His head nods, gesturing towards your room.

König squints his eyes, glaring so hard in pure shame, he swear he feels his eyeballs vibrate. But instead he walks off, vowing to abstain himself from anymore violence. He's learnt his lesson.

'Unimpressive...' he mumbles, physically shivering as his mind is forced to recall that fateful day again.

Minutes feel like days and days feel like months, and all those hospital visits from your teammates gradually decrease, some unable to see you resting corpse-like with jagged scars painting your skin, some purposely avoiding the whole situation, with paperwork as their main excuse.

But König finds solace staring at your almost dead but resting state. Yes, he cringes at the slightly bent nose, the busted lip, and the countless stitches on your scalp, but overall he notes you seem peaceful on the bed.

Not like that fearful expression you pulled before he...you remember.

Though he'd rejected the numerous proposals to lead missions, he finds himself persuaded into changing into his musky, unwashed uniform, adjusting his mask whilst attempting to silence his growing headache. One more König, one more mission. Think about who you're doing this for. Think about your future. Think about that cottage. Think about that Austrian countryside.

So he gears up, attempting to push you away from his thoughts, though he can't. He curses himself for using your floral scented soaps, his senses being heightened and hyper-focusing on it the entire ride in that aircraft. It smells like you. Not like that dreaded dull stench of the hospital.

His train of thoughts halt as his superior yells strings of commands towards his team, and his priority shifts to stays alive for you.

After exiting the aircraft he takes a good look of his surrounding, as his team gather round in group, and his face drops. It looks like just Alpbach, the countryside he wanted to settle down in with you.

His eyes catch the small row of houses and buildings kilometres away.

That was meant to be the cottage you two grow old in...

"König! Where's your mind at?"

His eyes clench.

No time for mistakes.

2000 kilometres away, lay you. Eyes indeed twitching rapidly. You were most definitely not conscious yesterday, but the memory of a German bedtime story being read to you early morning comes to you frequently, must be deja vu.

Today though, you open your eyes, lazily making eye-contact with the medical intern who'd been studying you for research purposes.

"Hey, hope you don't mind m- OH MY GOD. UM- OH. MY GOD. ¿QUÉ DEMONIOS ESTÁ PASANDO? EH, ¿POR QUÉ ESTÁ DESPIERTA? VUELVE A DORMIR." What the fuck is happening. Um, why is she awake, go back to sleep!

And a week passes by, and your movements are restricted to sitting up and switching the TV channel. But you're better. Your closest 2 teammates visit you daily now, adorning you with gifts, like your luxurious chocolates.

But no one dares mention his name. Not even you. You don't care about the lack of flowers or medals by your bed like your last hospital visit.

"But you should have seen her face-" One of your teammates chokes on his laugh, caught up on a story you'd missed, "bitch tried to tackle me-" he stifles a laugh, "ever seen a mouse try to fight a lion-"

"How are you still on that, it was 2 weeks ago!"

You turn to your other friend, stationed at the other side of your bed.

"Wow, sounds like I'm stronger than you, and I'm in hospital." You tease her, cheeks aching from smiling too hard, a painful feeling you've missed.

"Dude, I tried to tackle him, König styl- I mean. I- um. Sorry-"

Oh.

Your face flashes a pained look, before your eyebrows furrow in anger, fixating on your clenched fingers.

"She, um, she didn't mean that. It's just-" your friend tries to defend her.

"So what's that fucker up to, huh?" You ask, though it comes out more like a command than a question.

"Um...he's on a mission, like in Austria or something, I don't know.-"

You scoff, "Good, hope that asshole dies there."

Another month and another successful mission from König's team go by, and your higher ups have talked you into being stuck at an office desk, buried in paperwork. It's long and monotonous, and although you want to be focus on improving your overall physical ability, your grateful you don't see as many soldiers on the base as usual, given the amount of pitied looks you've gotten after being discharged.

But hey! The good news in that you're not doing it all on your own. You occupy a small office with a lower ranked soldier, and though you both work under different positions, you both share a similarity. Both victims of König. The soldier you'd seen on the floor, who'd looked like he'd left bleeding to death, also recovered moderately well, and he sits across your desk, cheeks always looking flushed. As if he's still sick.

"You have another pen? Um, this one's ran out."

He's got a gentle voice, like König, but his don't make you pause in fear. He's definitely not as bulky as König rather, he's on the other end of the spectrum. Shorter, leaner, less muscular. But his differences to König make you appreciate him more.

"Huh- yeah, here." You toss a pen towards him and he clumsily misses it, apologising before crouching to pick it up, and you don't fail to catch his bruised knuckles and wrists.

"Thanks..." he mumbles shyly, pulling his sleeves down after realising what your gaze on.

You both haven't discussed it, but have mentally agreed not to talk about that night in the combat room.

"Team's coming back from an assignment today. Or so I heard." He strikes up a conversation, blushing and still avoiding eye contact.

You smile at him, humming as your fingers type away at the keyboard, "Hmm, when do they get back?"

"Couple of hours from now...it's been a month I think."

You nod in response, "They wish they were doing paperwork right now."

He snorts, before coughing it away from embarrassment, but you smirk at his reaction.

"Adorable." You mumble.

"What?" His eyebrows raise.

"Huh?" You mock teasingly.

The evening of paperwork and back and forth banter goes by, and you find yourself with him - who you've now nicknamed 'Paperwork' - at the canteen, sitting and eating alone, isolating yourselves from the obvious glances and murmurs from the other soldiers, yet neither of you want to mention the obvious unspoken tension.

"All my soap's gone, Paperwork!" You look at the obvious peaking black eye that he failed to cover fully with the wrong shade of foundation.

He looks at you curiously, amused at the new found nickname.

"Like, it's gone, and my bed's all messy." There's a cut on his plump lips.

He nods awkwardly.

"Food's nice." You state, receiving a hum from him, but you focus on his swollen wrists, gently reaching to touch them.

He flinches, dropping the steel cutlery on the floor, earning more stares than before, if that was possible, squeaking an apology and continuing to eat like nothing happened.

He's cute. You smile. He's nothing like him.

You continue munching on your food, unaware of the stares you receive. Of the stare you receive.

The 6'10 colonel stands metres away from you at the entrance of the canteen, your back turned to him, as his fists clench and squeeze at the first bouquet of hand-picked Austrian flowers out of envy, as he studies your new found friendship. Considering it's the evening, he's happy he's standing in the dimly lit corridor by the mess hall doors, so he's aware that you cannot see him.

But König can see you.

Most importantly, König can see you, with him.

Was zum Teufel macht er mit ihr? He curses. What the fuck is he doing with her?

"The food's shit mate-" He's interrupted by lower ranked soldiers, and he skillfully moves out of the way to hide behind the door, as they enter the mess hall, and he swears you turn back to look at him.

He wants to walk up to you. He wants to look at you straight in the face and apologise, but he deep down knows that no matter what he says to you, what he gifts you, what he promises you- you will never forgive you for his abuse. For the way he neglected you and your feelings, for putting his greed before you.

And he knows deep down, you'd be happier with...with him. That puny guy. Aren't soldiers meant to be strong and muscular? This guys looks the same weight as König's left calf, no wonder he beat him up to a pulp.

He scoffs, ignoring the sinking feeling in his heart, hearing your laugh at whatever this guy says to you. Deep down he knows he lost you. Deep down he knows he's no longer yours.

"Hey, I'm gonna get my phone, I think I left it in my room, see you in a bit?" You ask the soldier, and after he nods, you find yourself walking towards the entrance of the mess hall.

König watches as you walk towards the door and he swears his mind pauses.

You're walking towards him? Right now? What is he meant to say to you? Are the flowers okay? Would you like them? Would you even talk to him?

He finds his anxiety catching up to him all of a sudden, head feeling light and palms beginning to sweat. Though he feels a rise of panic, he doesn't find the strength to move, not even a muscle. He wishes you were by his side, stroking his biceps.

But you're not by his side. Yet, that is.

You open the semi-transparent door, yawning inaudibly, closing your eyes in the process.

And you walk straight into a brick wall-

"Holy shit, you scared me..." You look up at him, halting immediately after you realise who you bumped into.

König looks down at you, and like his brain, his heart stops and skips a beat.

"Liebling- what- who- why are you talking to him? Are you over me that quickly?" darling-

You glare up and him angrily. Over 2 months without König and no apology? And instead he dares question your relationships with other soldiers.

"Listen mein baby, I'm tired, can we just go back to our room-" my baby

"Our room?" The first words you've uttered to König before the incident.

"Our. Room?"

König looks away in embarrassment. "Liebling, can we talk in our-your room, I don't feel comfortable being here-"

"You don't feel comfortable? You don't feel comfortable? Oh what, now I'm supposed to care about YOUR feelings like you care about MINE? Are you fucking kidding me right now?" You point your finger at his chest as you feel your emotions pouring out.

"I-"

"You don't get the fucking right to tell me what I fucking do, you insolent freak. Yeah no wonder you were abused as kid, maybe domestic violence runs in your fucking blood." König widens his eyes at that last dig, knowing you said it only to hurt him, which it did.

He watches you walk away angrily, stomping down the dark corridor, slowing fading out of his vision and into the dark.

He knows he lost you.

He knows, but he'll try again.

The next 2 weeks you receive letter upon letter, all written in various languages, some in English, some in German, some in your mother-tongue, which were definitely google translated.

And every single one, you burnt. You wake up with them under the door of your room, and every single time you take your lighter and burn the bottom right corner without even bothering to read the entire letter. König could write a fucking novel for you, but nothing would fix the evident hatred you felt for the Colonel.

"And he just sends so many damn letter, like enough Shakespeare." You groan to your paperwork partner.

Over the weeks you've definitely bonded with him more, eating together more often, roaming the grounds more often, hell, one night he even slept on the couch in your room! You're grateful to have him by your side, if he weren't there, you would be spiraling down a hole of indefinite depression. Though, you question whether you could say the same to him, and you swear he ever so silently shifts away from you.

"You shouldn't get back with him." He warns you.

You smirk, "Paperwork, you jealous?" and he coughs aggressively in response.

Your smile thins, "But for real, I would never. What he did to me, what he did to you- it's unforgivable. I promise."

He nods wincing at the thought of seeing you with König, a smile ever so gently etching on his flushed face.

"You wanna go take a walk around?"

So you both tour around the base, past the barracks, past the canteen, past that damn combat room, through the gardens, until you find yourselves sitting on the benches by the empty concrete grounds, a comfortable silence filling the air.

The sunny yet cold weather breezes past you, your pony-tailed hair gently swaying towards the direction of the wind as you stare at both your shadows in front of you.

"Weather's nic- are you fucking for real?!" You grip the bench, gritting your teeth as you see a taller third shadow rising beside the original two shadows. Paperwork, looking behind him, jumps out of the bench after realising it was his superior.

"Colonel, sir", he salutes towards König, "sir- I-."

You interrupt him instantly, "Paperwork, I love you, but shut the fuck up."

"2 weeks and we're confessing our feelings already huh?" König stares down at the two of you.

"The only person that should be confessing their feelings should be you, Colonel. To a fucking therapist." You scoff.

"Schatz, listen-"

"Nothing you say will change my mind König. I don't want to see you anymore. Can't you get that through your thick skull or is that shitty cloth on your big head getting in the way?"

König feels his eyes shut involuntarily, being bombarded with all these insults, "Can I not apologise? Did you not read my letters?"

You laugh sarcastically, "König, you're a better clown than a Colonel, cos you're a fucking joke. Now leave me the hell alone." You brisk-walk away, yanking Paperwork behind you, who shoots an apologetic look towards König.

"Scheisse...." König mumbles. Shit....

König's relentless attempts of begging for your forgiveness were all fruitless. He attempting breaking into your room to leave flowers on your bed, but he didn't realise that he'd see you and Paperwork hanging out in the living room.

"Didn't realise there was a fucking rat infestation in this fucking building." You groaned, before slamming the window shut on König's fingers, as he jumped at the pain before falling 2 stories down onto the hard ground.

And there was a time he even had the audacity to sit next to Paperwork, across from you on the dinner table in the canteen.

"Hallo-" But he was rudely ignored by you throwing your scorching hot coffee straight onto his uncovered forearms.

"NEIN, MEINE ARME, ICH WERDE STERBEN, MAMA, HILFE!" NOOOO MY ARMS I'M GONNA DIE MAMA HELP

His useless attempts to woo you remained ... well, useless. You'd never spare a second for him, unless you inflicted pain onto him, like when you knocked down the weights at the gym on top of his feet, or when you 'accidentally' kicked his crotch as he snuck up from behind you. Although you found it funny, going back to your dorm to tell Paperwork about the new event, you just couldn't scratch the burning feeling in your chest. Like you only hit him, burnt him, kicked him out of spite, out of anger, out of revenge from that pain he caused onto you. You may be angry at him for his actions, but you knew hurting him just wasn't what you wanted. You wanted to be the bigger person, and cut him out of your life once and for all.

If only he got the hint.

When you found yourself forcing yourself to knock on his door, cringing at the awkward silence, you had learned from Paperwork that König had be assigned for another mission, which was listed for 2 months.

Ahhhh, 2 months without König. What a dream.

But oh how quickly those months have gone by. One month in, and you and Paperwork were back on the field. The doctor gave you both the signal that physical activity was okay, if done carefully, so now your evenings before dinner, you two would be found dead lifting at the gym.

And damn, did Paperwork look good in a black compression shirt.

"3, come on, 2 let's go Paperboy, 1 more 1 more come on, okaayyy and you're done, well done!" You patted him on his back.

"You're getting better, boy!" You toss him your water bottle, which he takes graciously.

Out of breath but smiling, he nods contently, sitting down on the mat, gesturing you to sit beside him.

"I need to tell you something." He starts, and you look at him narrowing your eyes.

"Don't tell me you have a wife and 3 kids and home..." You snort at him, quickly silencing yourself after he doesn't return a laugh.

"Listen, I was thinking..." He looks away from you.

"This isn't for me anymore-"

You furrow your eyebrows, "This friendship, did I make you uncomfortable, did König tell you I like you?" You ramble on.

"You like me?" He tilts his head, ignoring everything else you've said.

"Huh?"

"hUh? No! No. No, I've been thinking about my career in the army, and I've done it for like 2 years now, which you know, isn't a lot, but the paperwork we did together...it changed me."

You're the confused one now.

"Maybe I'm destined for an office job, maybe this, this just isn't me..." He trails off, finally meeting your eyes, looking for an answer.

You nod, and this time you look away, "No, that makes sense."

There's a pause in the conversation, and for a while, the both of you just stare at the other gym-goers in the vicinity.

You sigh, "I've been doing some of my own thinking you know..."

"You have?"

"Yeah, I talked to the boss and I asked for a tr-"

Suddenly the door, bursts open, and your friends run towards you, huffing, "König-" huff, "He's-" huff, "oh my days, I am so out of breath, I've come to the right place, the gym!"

"Get to the damn point, woman! König in the hospital, he's been shot-"

That was enough to get you up and running.

A 4 hour surgery later, and you and Paperwork sat outside of the hospital door, the same one where you were admitted to, and the same one König lay behind. Paperwork swears he felt his eyes strain, watching you walk up and down the corridor, and he questions whether there was still some unspoken, remaining feelings you had for his superior.

The doctors, leave the room, with a solemn look to their faces, greeted with you running up to you immediately.

"So? Is he finally dead?"

"Ma'am, what- no. He's good, he's recovering rapidly. He's also asking for you." A doctor states, pointing towards, leading both you and Paperwork towards the room.

The hospital rooms still sends shivers down your back, memories of the previous few months rushing back to you all of a sudden, but you're calmed down by the soft rub on the small of your back by Paperwork, who's already looking at you with a soft smile.

You walk towards the bed, with Paperwork standing behind you.

"König. And you're still here."

You look down at you and you wince.

There König lie, bloodied and bruised worse than ever. If your state when you were admitted was described as the worse, you wondered what the doctors were to say when they saw him.

"Schnucki...bist du das?" Sweetie-pie...is that you?

"König honey, what happened?" You gently rub the tears of his swollen face.

"Feind…habe es nicht gesehen…es tut mir alles leid..." Enemy…didn't see…i'm sorry for everything

You hum stroking his bare face, and you look back to Paperwork, knowing it's probably his first time seeing the Colonel maskless.

"Papierkram, es tut mir alles leid...Ich bin ein beschissener Mann mit noch beschisseneren Taten, aber du kannst es in dir finden, mir zu vergeben...." Paperwork, i'm sorry for everything. I'm a shitty man with shittier actions, but you can find it in yourself to forgive me.

Paperwork smiles, nodding as he understood what the fuck the Colonel just said to him in the foreign language, "Sì, non preoccuparti, amico." yeah dont you worry mate (italian)

"Glaubt dieser Idiot, dass ich Italiener bin?" Does this idiot think I'm italian, König warily asks looking at you.

Stroking your cheek, you giggle.

"König, listen. What you did, was...unforgivable."

König sits up slowly with your help, listening intently.

"But as much as I want to strangle you and throw you as you did to me...it's not going to solve any issues."

König tears up.

"I'll never forgive the memories we made together König. I really did love you. But-"

"But?" he squeaks.

"But we're done. I want to be someone's priority always. And König, let's be real, you need to talk to someone about all these pent up emotions."

König nods, tears now streaming down his face.

You wipe his tears, "Hey, hey, don't cry okay, listen. I know it's hard, but it's for the best. We both need to heal and grow separately. Maybe someday we can be friends again, but we need space."

König nods again, sniffling as he tries to compose himself. "I understand. I'll seek help, I promise."

You smile softly, feeling a mix of relief and sadness. "That's all I ask. Take care of yourself, König."

He nods once more, and you lean in to give him a gentle hug before standing up. As you start to stand up, you hear him whisper, "Danke für alles." Thank you, for everything.

Paperwork walks towards you, his arm wrapped your waist.

"Pass auf sie auf, ja?" Look after her, will you?

Paperwork nods, "Sì, signore, lo farò." Yes sir i will. (italian)

"Boy if you don't- listen. I wanted to tell you both something.

The two men look at you intensely.

"What I wanted to say at the gym...and to you König...I've been thinking, for a few months now."

The two men look at each other.

"I've talked to the superiors about this, but I requested a transfer. To England. And...it was approved this morning." You mutter.

König and Paperwork widen their eyes.

"Liebling, that's amazing! I mean I'm sad to see you go as a friend and a team mate, offensichtlich, but I'm happy. Truly impressed soldier." Darling, offensichtlich - obviously.

Paperwork smiles by your side, squeezing your arm gently, "England here I come," and you chuckle to the thought with him by your side.

"Where are you being transferred to you?" König asks.

"Oh, um, Task Force One-Four-One."

Why choose between Paperwork and König when you can have both, YALL GET ME?! Also this should've have taken me so long, my God, but i'm glad it's done fr, sorry for the wait :D also not proofread, so if you see any mistakes, treat it like a middle child and ignore it <3 I have a tag list! -> lemme know you're interested to be tagged in my future posts! tags -> @lilliumrorum

[msgexymunson]

Please, Say My Name

Virgin!Eddie x Experienced!Fem!Reader

Description: Eddie's obsessed with his older neighbour. When a black out happens, he feels the need to check on her, and finds out his obsession may not be one sided.

A/N: I may or may not be projecting here, 30s reader and all. This was a challenge for me, writing from Eddie's POV (I've never experienced a male orgasm, I'm just guessing haha,) I love a cocky Eddie but cannon I think Eddie is a virgin, so I feel this is the partner he had to make him like he is in all these fan fics lol (maybe why he has so many pet names for girls?) Excuse my British ass for any American idioms that are wrong. Also I feel like reader's slightly southern?

Warnings: sexual tension, reader uses she/her pronouns, reader in her 30s, reference to curves not size, all manner of pet names (sweetheart to reader, all sorts to Eddie, tiger, champ, hot shot, sugar, honey lmao) NSFW, Minors DNI, I will feed you to the wolves, M! Masturbation, voyeurism, perv! Eddie, M! Oral receiving, nipple play, F! Fingering, protected sex (wrap it boys and gals)

5.2k words

Masterlist

Jesus H. Christ she's gonna kill me.

Tiny shorts riding up your ass, sporting a bikini top and bare feet. Bending down, he watches you reaching into the laundry basket. Shorts so tight he can nearly see the outline of your cunt. Standing upright, tits threatening to spill out of your top, the shape of your nipples peeking through the fabric. Stretching up, hanging clothes on the line. Bending again.

Eddie's been staring out the window of his trailer, spying through the makeshift curtains into your yard for the past twenty minutes, utterly transfixed by you, fisting his cock lazily. A bead of pre cum dribbles from the tip of his dick down to his fingers. It mingles with the spit already in his palm. He knows he shouldn't but he can't help it, your more mature frame burned into his eyelids. It has been for a while now.

He knows you're in your thirties, at least ten years older than him, but he can't help it. Every movement you make is sensual. He watches your hips rock every time you move to hang your clothes.

When you moved in a couple of months ago, Eddie was laying smoking pot in his room when Wayne had knocked on his door.

"Boy, a new neighbour's moving in next door. You best offer to help her."

Knowing his uncle meant business whenever he called him 'boy', he wandered over to offer his help, and was faced with you. You were wearing some skin tight leggings and a crop top, curves on full display, wrestling with a TV, trying to manoeuvre it into your trailer.

"Hey, need a hand?"

You had jumped at the sudden offer, turned round and saw this sweet looking, messy haired young boy staring at you.

"Well thanks champ, real kind of you." You smiled at him, placing the TV on the floor. He had eyeballed you from top to toe smirking, then grabbed the TV and lifted it like it was nothing.

"In the living room, tiger," you had said at his back, watching his shoulder muscles.

Placing the tv with a small thud, he held his palm out to you.

"I'm Eddie, Eddie Munson."

You placed your manicured hand in his and shook it.

"Well I'm y/n y/l/n, pleasure to meet you sugar." Your voice all honey and cinnamon, you winked at him. Eddie's throat almost shrivelled up at that wink, mouth suddenly dry.

Eddie had moved most of your furniture that day. Not because you were unable, but because he had insisted. You were perfectly happy to allow him, watching that slender frame start to sweat, straining to move some of the heavier items. He was certainly good to look at. Eddie stole glances at you all day, mesmerised by the way you move.

Since then, Eddie had helped you a few times. Needed something from the store? Eddie would jump at the chance. TV aerial playing up again? Eddie was around in a heartbeat fixing it for you. Shitty car broken down? Eddie's sprinting over, offering you a ride.

When he found out you were working as a waitress at the nearby diner he'd make any excuse to visit. He would sit there, attempting to write notes on his next D&D campaign, drinking coffee he didn't enjoy as he thought you wouldn't take him seriously if he bought a milkshake. You would laugh at his little jokes, touch him on his arm, and call him all manner of pet names. He was smitten.

Now, you were a waitress. You flirted with everyone. Hell, your living is mostly based off of tips, Eddie understood that. But it felt like something extra when you flirted with him. Sometimes your hand would linger a little longer on his. He's sure he's never seen you winking at anyone else. When you reached over to refill his cup once and practically paraded your cleavage in front of his face Eddie thought he would spontaneously combust.

As you finish hanging up the washing, you take a moment to stretch your arms, then walk inside. Eddie's shoulders visibly deflate, wanting to finish what he had started.

After a minute you return with something in your hand, making your way over to your lawn chair. You slip your shorts off exposing your skimpy bikini bottoms and Eddie groans loudly, picking up the pace of his languid strokes. Running your fingers under the tie sides you pulled them further up your hips, the material gathering slightly at your ass. Eddie is sweating, watching your every move, tightening his grip on his cock.

Laying down, you open your palm; it was sun lotion that you had carried from inside. When you shake some out of the bottle and proceed to rub it casually onto the tops of your breasts Eddie chokes on a cry, fucking his fist faster, spraying his cum all over his hand.

He knows he shouldn't have, and he knows he should clean himself up and snap out of it, but you're still rubbing lotion in your skin, manicured hands stroking all over your body, he's utterly enthralled, and he's already getting hard again. Fuck.

****************************

A couple of weeks later Eddie's getting ready for a blind date that Gareth twisted his arm into attending. He truly hates set ups, but he made a promise and that's that. Fussing with his hair, he slings on a burgundy button down shirt, paired with his usual black jeans and combat boots. Deciding to do without his jacket since it's been hot as hell these last few weeks, he stuffs his cigarettes into his pocket and makes his way outside.

Hearing a wolf whistle he turns around, confused. You're sitting in your lawn chair, smoking a cigarette, enjoying the balmy air, wearing nothing but sleep shorts and a tank top.

"Well hey handsome, where you off to?" You call over. Eddie steps closer, drawn to you, hands in his back pockets.

"Just some blind date, nothin' special." He shrugs.

"A date huh? Well come here, let me take a proper look at you."

Eddie swallows and hesitantly steps forward.

"Turn around." He's obeying before he even knows what's happening, turning on the spot, arms open.

"Hmmm," you say, standing up directly in front of him, impossibly close. Eddie can smell your musky, sweet perfume, and is desperately trying to control the blush that he knows is begging to crawl over his cheeks.

You reach out with your painted fingernails and touch his chest. Eddie's sure his heart stops beating for a second. Staring at his chest, you pop open one of his shirt buttons, and then another, exposing his guitar pick necklace. Eddie's stopped breathing, mouth hanging open. The bulge in his jeans is starting to become noticeable.

You look up and smile.

"There, that's better." You pat his chest, hand lingering for a moment.

"B-better?" Eddie stammers out.

"Yeah, a real stud." You lean towards him, tilting your head upwards to whisper in his ear. "I mean, I would."

Eddie can feel his blood rushing all the way to the roots of his hair. He's speechless.

You turn away from him, putting your cigarette out. Walking towards your trailer you call over your shoulder. "Go get 'em, tiger."

Flabbergasted, Eddie can only stare at you, eyes never leaving your back until your door closes.

****************************

Well, that was a complete waste of my time.

Eddie's pissed. He had waited for over an hour but his date never showed. Driving back to the trailer park in his van, metal blasting from the speakers despite the late hour, he pulled up outside his home. Wayne's car was gone, he must have left for work already.

Storming into the trailer, he was angry, not just at the date but at himself. What if she did turn up, took one look at him and left? He really didn't need some mystery girl making him feel inadequate, he did that well enough himself.

Sighing, he threw his van keys haphazardly on the table and turned on the light switch. Nothing happened. He tried again. Then he tried the TV. Nothing.

"Well, shit." He said to the darkness.

Stepping back out the front door he looked around the trailer park. Pitch black. In his anger he hadn't even noticed. His eyes were inexplicably pulled to your trailer. He thought he could see a dim flickering light through the blinds.

He could knock. A concerned neighbour, just checking in on her because of the black out.

I wonder if she's still wearing those little shorts.

He took a deep breath and strode over, climbing the steps to your front door. Fuck, what do I say?

Too late, his hand was already rapping on the door. Silence for a moment.

"Who is it?" Your voice rang out.

"It's Eddie, just checking on you" when the fuck did my voice get so squeaky, Jesus.

He heard the sound of security chains clanking and the latch clicking softly. Then there you were in your tiny pyjamas, bathed in candlelight, your hair loose around your shoulders. Eddie thought you looked like you had wandered in from a story, a dream.

"Well hey you. You're back early. How'd the date go?" You tilted your head at him, eyes shining.

"It er, didn't. She blew me off."

"Well, she don't know what's she's missing. Wanna come in?" You gesture to the old chintz couch that he had helped you move in months before. A coffee table he doesn't recognise sits in front of it with three fat lit candles. Eddie nods eagerly and moves inside whilst you lock the door again.

You move over to an old wooden sideboard, a further collection of candles sitting there, and pour yourself a bourbon.

"You want one?"

"Yeah sure."

You pour another, grabbing some ice from the ice box and put a couple of cubes in each glass. You go to hand one to him. When he reaches out to grab it you pull it back suddenly.

"Hang on a minute big guy, how old are you?" You screw your eyebrows, examining his face.

"I turn 21 in like 3 weeks!" Eddie protested.

"Ah, another way to say your 20. Hmmm. Well you're lucky I already poured it, hot shot. Here you go. One drink mind. Don't wanna get you into trouble." You giggle, face slightly flushed. Eddie definitely believes this isn't your first drink of evening.

Sitting on the couch you cross your legs, shorts riding high up your thigh. You look into Eddie's eyes, smiling at him from the corner of your mouth.

"So, came to check on lil old me?"

"Well yeah, wanted to make sure you were ok."

"You're always checking on me ain't ya sugar. Always." You reach over and squeeze his knee.

Eddie nearly chokes taking a sip of the bourbon but tries to disguise it as a cough. The touch of your hand on his leg is all consuming.

"Well, yeah, I mean you're on your own over here. I just wanted to make sure you're safe."

"Well ain't you a slice of cutie pie." You stand up, "I'm just gonna powder my nose honey." Walking off you make your way to the bathroom, hips swaying.

Eddie takes the opportunity to look around the room, perusing the photos on the walls as best he can in the dim light. A framed picture over the sideboard stops him in his tracks. He stares at it in disbelief.

You return, taking your drink off the side board and having a sip.

"You- do you know Deep Purple??" Eddie exclaims, pointing at the photo.

"Ha, yeah a little. I mean, I knew a lot of bands back in the day. Only groupie to end up with a roadie I swear." You chuckle to yourself, making your way to the couch.

Groupie??

"Oh, I didn't know you were seeing anyone." Eddie shrinks down, perching on the edge of the couch.

"Not any more. Why do you think I ended up here? Half my stuff is still with that moron. I swear I have better taste in furniture than this junk" You shrug, tipping back your drink.

"Oh. I'm sorry sweetheart." Eddie moves on instinct, reaching out to stroke your hand in comfort.

"You don't have a single thing to be sorry for kid, don't worry about it."

Eddie feels a sudden spark of bravery. He's never gotten you to open up before about your own life.

"You know, I'm in a band." He sips his drink, trying not to cough.

"Oh really, I'm not surprised. You look like a musician." Running your hand up and down his thigh. Fuck, is she for real? Eddie can't help trembling slightly. "too nice to be one though."

"Hey, I can be a gentleman and a guitarist. Why not?" Eddie puffs out his chest and daringly reaches to touch you on the cheek. You grab his hand before it can even make contact.

"Look, you're a nice boy. I'm not gonna lie, you're hot as sin, but I'm not sure I wanna be the one to mess with that 'knight in shining armor' shit you've got going on, okay champ?" You pull his hand from your face, but you don't let go. Slender fingers tracing patterns on his rings.

She thinks you're hot as sin.

"Do you think I'm too young for you?" Eddie's voice quavers, but he's dragging your hands to his mouth, settling kisses to your fingers, lapping at the tips of your manicured fingers with his tongue.

"Fuck," distracted for a moment, "I never said that, I just, don't think I should be the one to mess with you first is all."

Eddie's cheeks burn red.

"Is it that obvious?" He looks down, releasing your hands, unable to meet your gaze. Humiliation weighs on his chest.

"Oh honey, don't feel bad, I read people for a living." You smile softly at him.

"Maybe I," Eddie begins, brown doe eyes seeking yours, "maybe I want you to be first. I mean, I might not know what I'm doing," Eddie half hides behind his hair at that, "but I want to. Maybe you could, teach me, you know?"

You laugh, the throaty sound reverberating through the trailer.

"Oh darlin', you don't know what you're asking."

"Oh I think I do. And I think you want it too. I've seen you looking at me." Cockiness edges his voice, sounding braver than he felt.

You scoot nearer to him, closing the gap between you, hot bodies making contact. Your knee rests on his leg, hand stroking up the exposed skin on his chest. Heat pours from the both of you. The heady scent of your perfume invades Eddie's senses, making it difficult to focus when you are so near. He can feel his cock stiffening.

"Oh, and you think I don't notice you too? Your eyes on me whenever I bend over? Eyeballin' my tits when I'm tryin' to do my job?" 

Eddie's breath is unsteady, shaking, heaving at his chest. Your touch is setting him ablaze. The heat in the trailer is stifling.

"Well, I'm sorry but," he takes a deep breath, trying to will his usual confidence to kick in. "You're so fucking hot, I don't know what to do with myself." He turns his head towards you, eyeing your lips in the flickering candlelight.

"Flattery will get you everywhere." You smirk at him.

Go on, grow a pair, kiss her.

Eddie sneaks his hand to the back of your head warily, eyes darting to your mouth. You make no move to stop him, gazing at him with half lidded eyes. Gulping, he closes the gap, pressing a kiss to your full lips. You grab his shirt in your fist and pull him closer. Eddie takes that as the best sign he can get right now, opening his mouth and deepening the kiss. You taste of bourbon, cigarettes and something sweet he can't place. His tongue pushes into you almost greedily, mapping out every inch of your mouth. It's sloppy and eager, but passionate. You run your hand up Eddie's lap, inching towards his crotch. Eddie thinks this must be some sort of fever dream as you palm him through his jeans, it takes everything he has not to cum on the spot.

Allowing his hand to drop from cradling your head, it drifts downward, cupping your breast. When his rough fingers brush your nipple over your thin top you break the kiss to allow a moan to escape your mouth.

Eddie mouths at your neck, leaving a succession of wet kisses. Clambering into his lap you straddle him and push him off your neck and back into the couch.

"You are making it real hard to say no honey." You smile from your new seat, fingers flirting down Eddie's chest.

Its Eddie's turn to grin at you smugly. He runs his palms firmly up your thighs.

"Sweetheart, you never said no."

"Well, you may have a point there sugar." And you lift your tank top over your head, revealing your bare chest.

"Holy Shit." Eddie's now convinced, this can't possibly be real. There's no way this goddess of a woman is straddling him topless right now. He knows he's blushing but he doesn't care. He's not even sure he can move right now. Far too scared to speak in case it comes out in a high pitched squeak and then you'll never show them to him again.

"Honey, you can touch them. Jesus have you never seen a pair of tits before?" You giggle, then your eyes widen. "Shit, you haven't have you?"

Eddie just barely manages to tear his eyes away and look you in the face.

"I mean, girls aren't exactly lining up at the door for Eddie 'The Freak' Munson." He scoffs.

You lean forward, slowly unbuttoning the remainder of his shirt.

"Aw, poor baby." Flipping open his shirt you rake your nails down his chest, giving him goose bumps. Eddie's breath catches in his throat.

"You just need someone to take care of you, don't cha?" Grinding into his lap.

Eddie's eyes roll back, his whole body feeling like a raw, exposed nerve. Electricity bolting through him with every roll of your hips.

You bring his hands up to your nipples, encouraging him. Eddie's fingertips brush them softly, feeling them harden to his ministrations. Your reaction to his touch emboldens him; leaning forward he presses soft lips to your breast. Once, twice, three times, and then he takes your nipple into his mouth and sucks gently.

"Oh fuck, Eddie."

You'd never said his name before yet you purr it now. That breathy, impassioned sound sends a shiver throughout his body. If he could just hear one thing for the rest of his life, from now until eternity, it would be you saying his name. He wants to see if he can make you scream it.

He whips his tongue around your nipple, trying to find what makes you make the loudest noises, gripping onto your hips tightly. You rock in his lap, moaning in encouragement.

Climbing off his lap, you settle between his legs on your knees. Eddie's fit to burst, watching you rake those painted nails of yours up the inside of his thighs.

"You still want this sugar?" Fingertips creeping to Eddie's belt, biting your lip.

"Hell yeah!" Lightning fast he pops his belt undone, along with the button and zip on his jeans, and pulls them down unceremoniously along with his boxers. His member springs out, thwapping against his stomach.

"Well big guy, if the girls knew about this they'd be lining up 'round the block." Your smile looks dipped in wickedness.

"R-really?" Eddie stammers, shuddering as you take his length into your palm, strokes firm but painfully slow.

"Hmmm" bending down you take the tip into your mouth, stroking with the flat of your tongue.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Eddie scrunched his eyes shut, "sweetheart, please."

"What's wrong honey?" You lick up and down his length, fisting his cock covered in your spit.

"If you, fuck, if you carry on I'm gonna cum."

You look at him with a mischievous glint in your eye, and take his cock fully into your throat, hollowing your cheeks. Eddie physically convulses, groaning loudly. He can't possibly look at you, if he does he won't be able to hold it in.

Letting go with a lewd wet dribble, you stand up, and go to remove your shorts. Eddie's hands shoot out to stop you. Looking at him with the question in your mind, he flashes you a toothy grin.

"Let me." Dark lustful eyes fixed on your waistband. You allow him the pleasure. He runs his fingers along your shorts, inching them down slowly, kissing the uncovered skin. The shorts stick slightly between your legs, causing Eddie to have to peel them down. He cannot help but see how wet they are. He can smell you. It's faint but musky, and sweet, almost like your perfume. He's obsessed. His hand hovers near your heat, looking up for confirmation.

Collecting his fingers in yours, you pull two to your mouth and suck them, gathering saliva. Eddie watches you, mouth open, enraptured. You guide his fingers down, down, to the front of your folds. When his fingers graze your swollen nub you sigh audibly.

"That there honey, you feel that? That's my clit." Eddie nods emphatically, not exactly in a position to form words right now. He runs sloppy circles over it, slipping with the mix of slick and spit, watching your face with wide open eyes, watching how you throw your head back a little, how your mouth parts slightly, how you tremble. He presses down and you cry out, knees buckling.

"Fuck, Eddie!" You grab his shoulders, "why don't you lie back so I can take care of you?"

Brows furrowing, Eddie says "Can- can I try and, er, take care of you? I mean, I'm 'bout to explode and I really want to make you feel good." Eddie begs with his eyes. If he can make you come undone beneath him he can die a happy man.

"Sure baby. Always wanna take care of me huh?" You lie back on the sofa, opening your legs to him.

"Holy Shit." Eddie scrambles over to you, forgetting he still has his pants round his ankles and nearly falls. You giggle at his antics. Untangling himself, he throws his shirt off that's still hanging on him unbuttoned.

Eager fingers make their way back to your pussy, rubbing on your clit, eliciting a little moan from you.

"Do you wanna stick your fingers in me honey?"

Yes, Eddie would like that very much.

Eddie's fingers are guided to your entrance. You wrap your hand around his middle and ring fingers, and line them up. Eddie understands, probing at you hesitantly at first, rubbing, gathering your wetness on his fingers, then pushes them all the way in. He's rewarded with a low whine from you, back arching off the couch.

He pumps his fingers in and out of you, sitting up on his knees, watching your face, how your tits move, and his fingers disappearing inside your cunt.

Eddie is determined to see you cum on his fingers. He needs to see you unravel. What if he never gets this opportunity again? He needs to commit to memory every sigh, every twitch, every time you say his name. God, especially the times you say his name.

He's trying different things, how he moves, the speed of it, feeling your impossibly tight wet pussy around him when all of a sudden he curls his fingers up and...

Oh.

Your reaction is visceral and immediate. Eddie keeps curling his fingers up. His hand is cramping; it hurts but he doesn't give a shit. Not when Aphrodite incarnate is laying below him, bathed in candlelight, moaning in ecstasy.

"Oh Eddie, oh my God, just like that, fuck."

You're writhing beneath him, moaning, your glistening body shining in the dim light. Eddie speeds up his motions, biting his lip. He's never been so hard in all his life. Suddenly you're clenching so hard around his fingers he can barely move, bucking against his hand.

'Oh Eddie!"

That fractured, high pitched scream of his name is the best thing he's ever heard. Back arched, your hands flying to his arm to still his movements, face in shock.

Breathlessly you manage to say "I thought you'd never done this before?"

Eddie's grin is smug and mischievous. "You think I would lie about that?"

He removes his fingers from inside of you, pleased as can be when you whine and frown a little at the loss.

"Do you have a condom sugar?"

Eddie looks wildly around the room, eyes settling on his discarded clothes. Finding his wallet he pulls one out with a flourish and a flash of teeth.

"You always walk around with that?" You smile at him.

"What can I say, I live in hope!" You giggle and Eddie thinks it's the second best thing he's heard from your mouth.

Now, I think I know how to do this...

The worry must be evident in his face as you hold your hand out and Eddie puts the condom in it with relief. You rip the wrapper with your teeth and roll the condom down his length, spitting in your hand and stroking him a few times. Eddie looks anywhere else he can, he can't possibly look at you handling his dick. He doesn't want this to be over yet.

You lie back and Eddie moves on top of you. Holding his length you line him up and he starts pushing into you devastatingly deep.

"Jesus, baby, you're so big."

Eddie can't think of those words slipping from your beautiful lips. All he can think of is the tight, impossible warmth he's sinking into. Your cunt is squeezing him like a vice, like  nothing he's ever felt before.

"Darlin, look at me." Eddie's eyes are scrunched up, holding himself up by his outstretched arms. He opens his eyes.

"Fuck you're beautiful." He strokes the side of your face, moving a couple of loose hairs that had stuck to you.

"You're very sweet. You can move now honey."

"Say my name." He stares into your eyes, pupils blown black with lust.

You look slightly taken quick by the dominance but recover quickly, flashing him an easy smile, batting your eyelashes at him.

"Please fuck me Eddie."

I've gone insane. How else could this be happening? I've lost my mind, made it up.

He'd believe that if he couldn't feel how amazing it felt being sheathed inside of you. He pulled slowly out, feeling the drag of your walls around his cock, then pushed back in.

Jesus Christ.

Eddie's a little unsure, trying to set a pace, trying to judge it on the noises you make, but he knows he's absolutely not going to last. The feelings too intense, rocking into you, watching that gorgeous face looked so fucked beneath him, it's everything he's wanted and more.

Shifting a bit, he gets up on his knees and pulls your legs around his waist, holding your knees, and thrusts into you.

"Oh Eddie, yes!" Your eyes are rolling back, closing, a continuous stream of moans escaping your mouth.

This is better. This is deeper. Eddie can feel everything, from the tips of his fingers to the tip of his cock to the tips of his toes. He thrusts harder, deeper, pulling you bodily into him, fingers pressing hard into your flesh. He can feel you clenching around his length and fucks into you with everything he has, sweat dripping down his back. His orgasm goes off like a gunshot, pumping his seed into the condom. You tighten even further, cumming with a mantra, a prayer, a plea of his name, over and over and over.

Eddie falls into you, feeling the sweaty sheen of his skin and yours intermingling, the heave of your breasts against his chest. You pant in unison, coming down.

Just about managing to lift his head, he looks at you and smiles, you look right back, grabbing his hand and lacing your fingers with his. Eddie can't help it. He chuckles, the laughter coming from deep in his chest, shaking his body. You giggle back, post orgasm haze sprinkled over the whole room.

Eddie plants a kiss to your soft lips.

"Was that, erm, okay?" Eddie knows he sounds like a kid in this moment, but he had to know. He has to hear it from you.

"Eddie, you're a fuckin' natural." You smile, planting a kiss on the tip of his nose.

He grins wolfishly at that. Peeling your flesh from his in the sticky heat he sits up and pulls the condom off. You gesture to a waste paper basket and he chucks the rubber in there.

Eddie leans back on you, arms encasing your head, nose to nose.

"Good enough to do again?" His grin is arrogant but his eyes are sincere.

"You're a cocky son of a bitch, you know that?"

"Sweetheart, you never said no."

You laugh loudly at that, pulling him in for a slow kiss. Bodies pressed against each other in the flickering light, heat of sex and summer radiating off the pair of you, utterly lost in the moment.

****************************

The heat wave showed no sign of stopping, though thankfully the blackout only lasted until morning. Eddie had snuck back next door in the early hours, unable to wipe the grin off his face.

It was early afternoon, and Eddie was standing outside, having a smoke and trying to catch a hint of breeze.

Uncle Wayne had stepped outside too, sparking a cigarette.

"What you smiling about son?" Wayne looks out the corner of his eye at Eddie.

"Nothin' Sir, just happy."

You exit your trailer, fanning yourself in the heat, ready for your shift. You look over and see your neighbours.

Waving at them, you walk closer.

Eyes on Wayne, you wave, "hey sugar how you doin'?"

"I'm good miss, workin' hard."

"Well, don't you work too hard honey." You smile, swaying your hips. 

Looking over at Eddie, he flashes you the cheekiest look, smile crinkling his eyes. You flush in response.

"Hey Eddie."

"Hey."

An uncontrollable smirk is on your face as you open your car, looking bashful for once.

Wayne looks at Eddie's face, then at your blushing cheeks, and back to Eddie.

"What?" Eddie shrugs his shoulders at his uncle, unable to control the beaming smile that's plastered on his face.

Wayne shakes his head. He sees your car drive off and goes to walk past Eddie back to the trailer, putting his cigarette out on the ground.

At the last minute, Wayne holds his hand up, palm flat, fingers splayed. Eddie gives his uncle a high five. Wayne continues to shake his head, walking back inside. 

[1-800-local-slut]

Home Is Where The Heart Is (Or Where's There's No People)

Klaus Mikaelson x Black! Fem! Shy! Reader

Reader is Klaus's girl friend. In public, she's shy the moment they get behind closed doors there's no stopping her

I don't know if this counts as a collab, but I'm going to count it as such. I couldn't have written this without @sublimecatgalaxy writing this beautiful work. Go check it out, it's so good omg. I hope you guys like this one and thanks again to @sublimecatgalaxy for letting me write this based off your work!

Warnings: Drinking, sophisticated party, nude painting, reader is horny at the end, allusions to smut, reader is really shy in public, this is a bit short, reader is a bit questionable, smutty thoughts, reader is thick, not a warning but I don't specify what the reader is, make no mistake the reader is a black woman, even tho I lowkey bully Marcel in this make no mistake that is my man, reader teases Klaus and calls him a whore lol

(No srsly, go check out this story it was actually wonderful)

Request are also open if anyone wants to send anything!

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"I just wanted a burger." She frowned, staring at the mirror while Klaus helped slide her body into her dress. Deep sadness and exhaustion reflected in her eyeballs, the same sadness that had been ever-present since Klaus reminded her of their party.

A peace offering with Marcel, which she argued was pointless and declared she could miss. Klaus naturally needed to object! How could he show up to such an event and not bring the most gorgeous person in the world with him? That and he needed another person who could agree with (mostly) all his judgments

"Once we make our way through the riff-raff we can stop on the way home." The custom gown was slid onto her body now, and it highlighted all the best parts of her. All the parts Klaus loved.

"I won't want to stop on the way home, I don't want to go outside in the first place. I hate these parties and I don't want to see Miss Tagrot. Oh God, I can't stand that woman, why does Marcel invite her everywhere? Don't tell me he's sleeping with that thing."

He smirked, smugly, once he turned out of her line of sight to button his sleeves properly. She didn't want to be around anyone besides him and selfish as Klaus was he was overjoyed by this.

She stepped off the small platform she was on that was surrounded by mirrors after a quick look over herself. She looked stunning like she was straight out of history. The dress hugged her figure, and her wig was styled into a gorgeous updo with two pieces of hair framing her gorgeous features.

Klaus needed to call their driver. He stole a glance out of their large bedroom windows after leaving their walk-in closet. Ass hitting the sheets, he shut his eyes for a brief moment to inhale. He could still smell the mix of their scents. A mixture of sweetness and the forest. Once he grabbed his phone off the dresser he let his mind wander.

His ears focused on the sound of the cars outside in his city. The people going about their business, the vampires hunting for a meal. How many of those cars were driving to the very place he was soon to be? How many would be at Marcel's little gathering (which is certainly pointless knowing Marcel and Klaus) tonight?

Suddenly her arms wrapped around his broad chest, and she overtook him. The bed sunk as she crawled onto it, and he felt her soft, long gloves snake around him. Her scent, her feel, everything. She was whispering in his ear, pressing soft kisses to his neck.

How was a man to resist in the face of such beautiful temptation? Don't ask Klaus, he could hardly manage right now.

"Klaus, let's stay home. I'll let you paint me naked again." She whined in his ear, bringing her nails up to his head. Scratching the back of his ears, she wanted to stay home.

"You don't have to lie, I know you like it when I look at you naked." Turning his head, his eyes connected with hers. His eyes found their way to her full lips, and he knew what needed to be done. A soft kiss to her lips and the idea of missing all the possible chaos and creating issues was looking more and more enticing. Staying home and stripping that gown off her sounded so, so much better.

He wouldn't be Klaus Mikaelson if he didn't show up fashionably late, and make an entrance. Blue eyes met dark ones with a buzz of excitement. Klaus fixed their bodies onto the mattress, where she was now flat on her back and Klaus towered over her. The spark in her eyes and the smirk across her lips told Klaus that she won. She won and she knew it, the little minx.

When her arms wrapped around his neck, Klaus dipped down to kiss her again. She ghosted her fingers over the nape of his neck drawing a little pattern.

He couldn't help himself and took advantage of the slit in her dress. While he ran his hand up her thigh and gave a healthy squeeze, Klaus's mind and heart were racing. How could have even thought about going to this party when his girlfriend was here, looking like a gorgeous blast from the past? As if she came straight out of the 1920s with improvements made to the dress that suited her style.

Her hands took a small squeeze at his ass, and Klaus chuckled. Then he was lying down right on top of her, grinding his hips into hers. He could taste tongue as they continued their foreplay.

She overwhelmed his senses so well that Klaus didn't hear Elijah walking up the steps until he knocked on the door. At first, he thought he was having an auditory hallucination but then she cut her eyes sharply to the door.

"What?" She snipped. That just made his suit pants even tighter.

"Sorry to interrupt, but there's a driver here for you two." Elijah chuckled. Of course, Elijah probably heard their passionate kisses and shared shuddered breaths.

"Of all the bloody things, I can never just stay home. Tell him we'll be out in a moment." Klaus crawled off her, wiping the smears of lipgloss off his face. He certainly smears her colored lip makeup all over his face.

"What happened to just wanting to stay home?" Klaus chuckled while she tried to fix the back of her hair.

"We can't just be rude, the drivers already come. It would be different if Elijah never told us but now I feel bad. The poor man is just trying to do his job." She muttered and ran her fingers across his chest. Klaus was perched at the edge of their mattress, and she was sitting up against the pillows, pulling him in like a spider catching a fly. That wicked smirk came across her face again and she brought her face closer to his.

Her eyes met his while she admired the smeared makeup on his face.

"You look like a whore. My whore." She snickered in his ear, running a hand over his thighs just short of where he needed her. He smiled, knowing this was going to be a hard night. Pun intended.

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She gripped him like a bad habit that you couldn't shake no matter what you tried the moment they stepped out of the car. She was Klaus's girlfriend, his wild card who couldn't be tamed, a bear who was standing outside its cave. But once they got somewhere with too many people, the bear went into hibernation and slept until it was time to leave. Not from fear, but simply from sheer kindness.

And Klaus loved knowing she was only quiet for the sake of others. For the sake of not wanting to make enemies of the entire city. Sadly, that was one of Klaus's favorite things to do.

The party was a typical Marcel party. It was moderately loud, there were flashing lights, and crowds of the elite mingled. Live performers and tantalizing meals were off to the side, and Klaus glanced up at the ceiling, seeing people mingling on the upper balconies. Other vampires, of course, Marcel didn't just let anyone up there. Klaus himself finally arrived, so the party could start.

They pushed through the crowds of people. Hello's, compliments, and well wishes were exchanged though Klaus met none of them. Like always, everyone took notice of Klaus's stunning companion no matter how badly she wished they didn't.

She didn't want to be standing in the center of the room (ironic considering that she was dating the man himself, Klaus Mikaelson) but there she was.

"There's the man of the century," Marcel called, making his way down the steps. Stopping before the two, she bristled slightly.

"Marcel." She greeted him curtly. All that needed to be said was said to him. He smiled at her, his grin reminding Klaus of a hunter about to shoot his prey.

"Ma belle." He took the gloved hand that wasn't latching onto Klaus and pressed a soft kiss to it. Deep down inside, Klaus was thrilled to know that this disgusted her. How long did it take for her to allow Klaus to hold her?

"Hm." She smiled politely but took a glass of champagne from a passing waiter who she grabbed with such strength that it showed how badly she wanted to leave. The only time anyone would grab someone for a drink with such ferocity was when that person wanted to be anywhere else.

"Marcel, thank you for inviting us to dinner." Klaus joked as the three of them eyed a woman who walked past them. Klaus hadn't eaten before they left like he usually does so he could hear the thrumming of blood all around him. Marcel let out his usual hearty chuckle and she stuck closer to him.

"Speaking of dinner," Drawing the two's attention back to him. Marcel ran his hands down the front of his suit, Klaus couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. It seemed like the drama Klaus lived for was finally starting.

"Can I show you something, Klaus?" Marcel asked in a more hushed tone. It was that time of night when Klaus sadly had to leave her alone for a bit to handle business. If it were up to him, Klaus would have her superglued to his side.

But alas, sometimes even Klaus Mikaelson couldn't have everything go his way.

༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻

Finding her again was like finding a beacon of light in a dark room. Like a blind man seeing for the first time, Klaus's heart instantly became lighter when he found his beacon again.

Marcel was still upstairs, sleeping off the punch Klaus decided he needed and Klaus happily skipped his way down the steps. His eyes cleared the room once he identified everything he needed.

A random person (or two) for dinner and his light at the end of the tunnel. Thankfully they just happened to be bunched together in one perfect little conversation circle for Klaus to wiggle into. With long steps, Klaus felt a thrill building at being close to her again.

She stood politely, sipping on her drink, and pushed a strand of hair behind her ears. He could hear her heartbeat jumping in her chest and heard an uncharacteristic giggle. Klaus could tell she'd been attempting to drink away her discomfort, the discomfort that followed with his absence.

A piece of chocolate (he made a mental at how it was the same color as her but he refrained from telling her this, as she often expressed annoyance at being compared to food) slipped into her mouth that she grabbed from the treats table, the white lights that shone around the room made her look even more like an angel.

A flash of light came over her brown eyes and Klaus felt his breath stop for just a second. She was too perfect and Klaus wanted to just grab her and go instantly.

The closer he got the happier he got to see her. Sure it was a bit odd how it made him want to jump for joy to know she didn't want to be around anyone else but who was about to say anything to him about it?

"Klaus! Oh, it's great to see you, I wasn't expecting you to come but once I saw this one I knew you couldn't be far behind." Miss Targot, the bane of his girlfriend's existence. She pulled Klaus into a friendly hug, the fur of her collar almost getting into his mouth.

Of course, that tight grip returned to Klaus's side the moment he was free. She was holding his arm once more, and Klaus shook his head slightly. Glancing down, he saw that she was on the verge of being tipsy but thankfully coherent enough to give Klaus little to no issue tonight.

But alcohol did make her more frisky than usual, so it was probably best they made their exit soon before they accidentally shamed themselves in front of all of New Orleans. Or before Klaus decided to pull her into a random room.

Either way, he heard the sound of furniture splintering, and to his left caught a view of some of Marcel's friends pointing down at him. Certainly time for an exit. After all, he still owed her that hamburger.

༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻

"Every time I see that bitch she sounds more and more obnoxious. It's all 'Oh Paris was wonderful' and 'I just adored my trip to Dominican Republic' bitch why are you not home with your children?" Klaus barked out a laugh as she perched onto her vanity seat and slid two earrings into her ears.

She rubbed cocoa butter onto her dark skin, while Klaus placed his paint brushes into his mouth and pulled the curtains wide open to let in the sunlight.

It was the next day now, the two had slept well into the afternoon. They were only woken up by someone throwing a brick through their living room window and this turned out to be someone with some grievances with Rebekah. Now they were sitting in their bedroom, while Elijah and Hayley prepared for the cleaners Klaus sent for to come. Hiding bodies and whatnot while Rebekah dashed around the city, a woman on a mission.

It was finally time for that painting she offered Klaus last night.

In her natural form, he could see her confidence, the fire that resided within her. Barren of heavy makeup, only a touch of blush and lipgloss with some clear mascara for her lashes Klaus felt like he almost didn't deserve to be around her right now.

She was so beautiful and perfect that with all Klaus had done, he didn't deserve to have her posing for him let alone dating him.

"They're probably paying for those trips, the miserable trollop she is I doubt they want her home very often." Klaus joked as he went back to his easel and resumed setting up his paints. Red, browns, deep greens (for the fainting couch she would be lying on), and the color of her large fancy robe. Klaus thought it made her look like a really pretty bird. A really pretty bird that would take out one of your eyes without much hesitation.

After all, it would be rude to snatch someone's eye from their socket.

She snorted, as she slid seductively onto the couch.

"I wouldn't." Klaus watched her get comfortable, with her well-practiced pose (the one Klaus always envisioned in his mind) and prepare to be drawn.

"You wouldn't want to be anywhere with her." Adjusting his easel, it was almost time for him to truly focus.

"No, I don't want to be anywhere without you. You literally know I don't like people, you make them tolerable. I know I'll have an eyewitness to the absurdity I see. Now enough about her, draw me like one of your French girls." Her brows wiggled and they both took a pause. Silence and then laughter.

The line from that ridiculous movie that Klaus was really mad that he actually enjoyed (and that admittedly turned him on) made him and her cackle. His sides hurt and the sides of his eyes crinkled. She was trying not to roll off the couch from how hard she was laughing, cackling actually, so loud that it was probably heard down the street along with Klaus's loud bellows.

The sound that came from their bedroom so often, usually induced by her, eventually settled from Klaus's doubled-over form. She somehow rolled onto her stomach and they both calmed down.

Eventually, the silence settled and they fell back into their usual conversation. Things about the baby, when she would be born, how much she liked snacks, Klaus teasing her and her telling him to lick her ass, Klaus of course thrilled to do so.

His pencil ran over the easel, the first sketch being perfectly designed while his mind wandered. She began to sing (horribly off-key though intentional) and Klaus lightly scolded her to hold still.

She was Klaus's girlfriend. His girlfriend who, for the sake of others, held her tongue in public but when it was just the two of them she was a shining star. A force of unstoppable grace and nature. His girlfriend, whom Klaus could just be a regular guy with and just laugh as loud as he pleased at nothing in particular.

Above all though, she was Klaus's. And deep down inside nothing else mattered more to him than that.

[milesdickpic]

Halloween with the Ohana | H.C |

This one is within the same universe as HLG!

click here to see the master list

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy Halloween, besties! Please be safe and have a great night! 🎃

Hangman, Phoenix, and Austin decorated the inside and outside of the house for Halloween. While you, Bradley, the boys, and Leia were passed out in your bedroom.

They were all already in their costumes. Austin was Buzz Lightyear, Phoenix was Jessie, and Hangman was Woody. 

Hangman and Austin set up the front yard with webs, spiders, signs, skeletons, ghosts, and pumpkins. The arch way leading into the house was cute and fun for the trick or treaters that would come later on.

Phoenix was hard at work decorating the inside to surprise all of you for when you woke up. 

She decorated the kitchen counters with webs and skeletons. She hung spider webs, spiders and ghosts from the ceiling. She bought an illuminating globe to shine little pumpkins and ghosts on the walls. 

Hangman and Austin joined Phoenix back inside to help with desserts and games. 

Austin created a festive snack board and some worms in dirt cups for the kids.

Hangman made spooky Jell-O shots for the adults and spooky punch for the kiddies.

Phoenix blew up black balloons and put spider webbing on them to decorate the house some more. 

After Austin and Hangman finished their contributions to the party, they got together and came up with games. The created the zombie eyeball toss, pumpkin ring toss, and they set up some toilet paper for a mummy game. 

You and Bradley finally woke up and got ready for the day. You all had a family theme, Star Wars. 

You dressed as Padme, Bradley dressed as Anakin. Bradley got Leia up and got her ready. After she was ready, you and Bradley got the boys ready while Leia got Gunner ready. 

Leia was Princess Leia. Luke was dressed as Luke, baby Bradley was dressed as BB-8, and Gunner was dressed as Chewbacca. 

Leia jumped around your room in her costume. “Momma I am so excited for trick-or-treating! Can Lukey bear and Braddie come with me?” She smiled up at you as she held onto your legs. You kissed her head. “Of course, my Leia!”

Bradley carried both of the boys down stairs while you, Leia, and Gunner trialed behind. 

“WOAH!!” Leia screamed as she saw how the down stairs was decorated. She ran over to Phoenix, Hangman, and Austin giving them all hugs.

Bradley looked around at all the decor. “Damn, you guys really out did yourselves! Are we having a party?” 

“Uh, duh, Bradshaw. We have to keep the tradition up.” Hangman laughed as he showed Leia around. 

The doorbell rang and Austin went to get it. In came Phantom, dressed as Mr. Incredible, Evelyn as Elasta-girl, Kamalani as Violet, and Kaia as Dash. 

Evelyn brought over some more goodies for the party. She made pretzel witch fingers and strawberry ghosts. 

Leia screamed as the girls came through the door. “YAY! We all get to go out together!”

As the night went on more of the pilots from work started to show up for the Halloween party. Everyone was enjoying themselves. You, Bradley, Austin, Phoenix, and Hangman brought all the kids out for trick-or-treating.

You and Bradley watched on excitedly as Leia went up to every house with three pumpkins. One for her, one for Luke, and one for baby Bradley. 

“Momma! Braddie and Lukey Bears pumpkins are full!” She ran over to you and Bradley with candy falling from their pumpkins. 

Bradley took the pumpkins and started to eat the candy from them. You slapped his arm. “What babe? They’re not old enough to eat it yet. We can’t let it go to waste?” He started to laugh.

You all made it back home to out the boys down for a nap. You all rejoined the party.

You and Bradley played some of the games and mingled with your friends.

Hangman and Austin stole Bradley for a game. Everyone made teams of three. There were 6 teams. One team member was going to be a mummy while the other two team members wrapped the one in toilet paper.

Everyone had 45 seconds to make a mummy.

Once the timer started Bradley stood still as Austin and Hangman ran around him with toilet paper.

“WHY DID WE PICK THE BIGGEST DUDE TO BE THE MUMMY?” Hangman yelled as he ran around Bradley.

“You’re the one who wanted him to be it!” Austin yelled as he sprinted in circles around Bradley.

”SHUT UP AND HURRY UP, GUYS!” Bradley yelled at the both of them.

You and Phoenix laughed as you kept track of the time. “10 Seconds!” Phoenix yelled.

“SHIT!” Hangman panicked. “SHUT UP, SERESIN. THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE!” Bradley yelled at him.

“STOP!!” Phoenix yelled. You and her went and judged the mummies. Everyone was covered completely, but Bradley. He still had a human head and his arms were ripping out of the toilet paper.

“Well I know who is getting last place.” Phoenix laughed.

Bradley looked at the guys annoyed, “You guys suck!” He started to laugh. “Now take this TP off of me and re-roll it. I am not wasting this.”

The party went on and you all danced together to the Halloween playlist.

When everyone left, you, Phoenix, and Austin started to clean up the house. You didn’t know where Bradley, Hangman, and Leia were.

The three of you finally found them, Bradley and Hangman passed out under a table with Leia and candy wrappers everywhere.

You placed a kiss on Bradley and Leia’s head. “Like father, Like Daughter. Happy Halloween, Party Animals.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy Halloween, my friends! I am sorry I haven’t been posting! And I am really sorry if this sucked 😭 I have been away for a mental health clinic and I have been so drained mentally, physically, and emotionally. I promise to be posting more soon for HLG! Thank you for being here and I love you all so much! Be safe and ALWAYS CHECK YOUR CANDY!! 👻🎃❤️

Halloween Party guests are in the comments 🎃

[kebriones]

You can tell a lot about someone from how they interact with plushies, is what I learned yesterday, and each person interacts with them in such different and interesting ways. Even the painfully awkward jostling about from a 65 year old man who probably hasn't ever played with a plushy in his life is interesting. Very painful, but interesting. It's also interesting to see who doesn't care for touching them at all, and who touches them very carefully and timidly or who just picks them up and squeezes them into a hug like they've owned them for twenty years. My favorite though was the girl that immediately went for cradling the pink multi-amputee plushy like a baby, and the professor who stole two plush eyeballs and went to a corner to take funny pictures of himself with them.

[skyward-floored]

this is your invitation to yap about TOTK

- hero-of-the-wolf

And I will yap!

First of all watching Zelda geek out under the castle was the best, she was so giddy by the time she figured out the murals and everything, and Link was just nodding along like “I only half know what you’re saying but I love hearing you infodump”. Plus the stuff about her always being told “the tunnels under the castle are forbidden” like girl you’re telling me NOBODY went down there?? Highly unlikely. I don’t buy it.

The lore in this game is already driving me nuts. There’s people from the sky but they’re not skyloftians. They founded hyrule even though the skyloftians did that but also the inprisoning war is in there somewhere which makes NO sense because it seemed like in twilight princess it had nothing to do with the founding of hyrule, and what’s all this about Rauru being the first king? Excuse me? Did nintendo just soft reset everything because I don’t like that—

*ahem*

I’m holding out hope that more will be explained. And it will make more sense. Maybe. (I’m not very positive lol)

Zelda gets an amber relic but it’s white and shiny instead! Neato! Obviously this is important since more with it shows up later. I don’t totally know what yet though... I’m suspicious.

also I didn’t know the corpse would talk. that was terrifying actually. listening to him crack as he shifted around was! Horrible!!

I’ve screamed about the hand grabbing thing back when the trailers came out but hwwwwaaauuugghghhg. He tried so hard to save her and she fell anyway hhhhhhhhhhh. Link my poor son.

WHY DOES POOR LINK KEEP WAKING UP UNDERGROUND IN HIS UNDERWEAR WITH NO CLUE WHAT’S GOING ON. Once was weird enough but twice??? this poor man. And he doesn’t even have the questionable luxury of memory loss this time, you know that boy is worrying his head off about Zelda. And his arm. Ow.

Nothing funnier than hearing a disembodied voice be like “sorry, I couldn’t save your arm so I just gave you mine.” Sir.

The sky islands are so pretty. I saw one of those weird hairy ostrich things and for about two seconds went LOFTWING?? but alas. it was not so. I like all the animals up there, though I have to wonder how there weren’t issues with in-breeding, and how several species are identical to ones on the surface despite being separated for literal thousands of years.... I’m probably thinking about it too hard.

The robot guys are so cute, and the noises they make are pretty too. They look kinda like geckos to me :) though the enemy ones are mean. At least I stole a flamethrower from the one guy.

Rauru: dang it my arm is too weak to go through the door. Sorry bro. Fortunately there’s these shrines—

Link: *flashbacking to the Great plateau* say no more.

GLUE GLUE GLUING THINGS EHEEHE

Koroks again... oof man. At least the little quest things you do with them get you two. Helping them is fun, plus they’re so weighed down by their bags their legs just wiggle in the air ahaha they’re like beetles who got stuck upside down. They’re so cute.

STICKING THINGS ON WEAPONS EYEBALL ARROWS AND CRATE SWORDS HEHEHE

Of all the things I expected going into this the giant blupee frog was not one of them. Whuh. Cursed blupee? Blupee that ate too much? Something?? Hrmmmm. I bet you’ll have to give the little blupee pendant things to Satori or something. Or somebody on Satori mountain.

The glow flowers (who’s name’s I forget) are soooo pretty. I love how there’s caves in this game, it’s so fun to climb around in them :D except when there’s a like-like because eeeeuuugghhgg. I didn’t think anyone could make a like-like grosser than it already was and yet here we are. EW. kill it kill it kill it—

Bird gliders are SO FUN

All of the abilities are fun but I like rewind a lot because it’s so simple. It’s like, fun because it’s less complicated? Idk it’s just neat. Plus Zelda gave it to us so it’s special :3 or her echo did. Or something. I’m suspicious.

Okay. Glowey spot. Broken master sword. Chiming and Fi’s theme (waaaaaah). Put the sword in the glow and it looks like we rewind and Zelda takes it. THEREFORE Zelda must have been yeeted to the past by that weird rock she picked up, and I hate nintendo because SERIOUSLY TIME TRAVEL AGAIN???

I already have a headache trying to make this fit into my understanding of Zelda games. *shakes fist*

Okay Zelda talked to us at least, that’s good, now we’re getting somewhere. Surface time babey!!!!

Trying to orient myself after I fell was so confusing and it took me a solid half an hour to figure out where I should maybe go and then Skye reminded me there was a glowey marker on my map telling me where to go lollll

Also I caught a horse and there were shenanigans involved in getting him to a stable but I did eventually register him (his name is Lucas after Lost’s dad but also I just like the name). And pony points are the best thing I’ve ever heard of <333 mad you still can’t pet the dogs though. LAME.

Lookout Landing is amazing. It’s so great. The music is catchy and they’re all so organized and rebuilding and Hyrule in general just seems so much more thriving now and I’m so proud of Link and Zelda waaaaaaaaaugh

Also everyone being so worried about Link (or straight-up not recognizing him lol) was sweet, I love how relieved people were to see him again.

PURAH’S OLD(er) AND IT KINDA HAS ME SHOOK. Her assistant is real sweet though, Josha I think? Nice kid. I don’t know if she’s eleven or sixteen or some other age entirely, but nice kid.

Just realized this is getting very very long. I didn’t do a ton else except pop up to the castle (creepy and unsettling with no guardians trying to kill me) and see Zelda appear then disappear (very weird and I’m suspicious again) so I’ll stop here. Ohhh also I popped down to the depths, but I didn’t do too much under there either. Just crept around and caught some bugs and killed some monsters (weird-looking monsters) and took a picture of a statue.

So endeth the thoughts of peggy on totk. For now lol.

[autistic-crypt1d]

Season 1 Delicious in Dungeon Live Blogging:

Ok so I'm not really an anime person but I kept seeing stuff about it on my dash and I'm gonna give it a shot!

Updates:

- intro was baller ok ok

- interesting...

- ok this is kinda funny

- the fact that there's no mouth movement from this guy is freaking me out

- I like this dude

- ok, Senshi, Laios, Marcille, and Chilchuck got it

- Senshi is joining yay!!!

- alright episode 1 pretty good!

- Episode 2

- PFFFFFFT

- I love Senshi so much

- she's trying so hard to be helpful 😭

- girl, wtf

- ok Senshi you're being an ass rn

- poor Chilchuck

- nooooo Laios!

- awwww bonding!!!!!

- wait ok I like this show

- Episode 3

- I'm intriglued by the character in the intro with the short white hair, we never see their face but they're relatively prominent

- awwww they were babiessssss

- he reminds me of that guy from a kids show, what was it called....

- OH

- OOP

- I went googling and I have no idea what the show is called but it had a blonde biy and a brunette boy as the main characters and it was an animated kids show. He reminds me of the blonde boy

- woooooo!! Let's go Senshi and Laios!!

- ah crap

- pfffft Senshi just polishing a pot

- oh wow that's a cool armour set

- is it the fact he stole the sword that they're being aggressive?

- oh nvm, a cocoon

- so the creatures got be in the helmet right?

- damn I was wrong

- oh I was right sorta

- awe it's sad when it's all floppy and helpless like that

- "oh no, it drowned" PFFFFT

- "we leave his corpse if he dies ok?" "Ok" BRUH

- can we all agree Laios is autistic af (I love him)

- KEEPS ONE

- oh I just realized it's the sword from the intro!!

- Episode 4

- oh she changed her hair!

- awwww his little farming hat

- this show is so wholesome I love it

- awww Senshi 😭

- why doesn't he pickle the extra veggies?

- OOP

- "BREAD. BREAD. BREAD. BREAD. BREAD." HELP XD

- why is everyone so mean to Chilchuck 😭

- PFFFT Senshi catching the baby before it touches the hot pan XD

- FRIENDSHIPPPPPP

- Episode 5!

- oooo new people

- I'm suspicious of the pony tail man

- oh my god the dog guy looks like my dog 😭

- as man, they were so nice

- OH CRAP

- same girl, I would've done the same, bugs FREAK ME OUT

- "Yum" "NO!!!"

- "dear lord they're creamy. I'm never gonna wear necklaces again" PFFFFT

- I love him and his lil sword friend

- I'm so obsessed

- PFFFFFT SENSHI

- so what I'm getting from this is that you can be resurrected as long as your body is recovered?

- "gentle explosions" she's so violent I love it

- way to go Senshiiiii

- EXORCISM SORBET

- he's so autistic I love him

- EW PAINTING EYEBALLS

- hey wait, it's that red elf with white hair from the intro, they were in the last painting too!

- oh wow she's scary looking

- poor baby 😭

- you forgot your water Chilchuck

- I love Marcille and Chilchuck's dynamic so much

- oh shit they're alive!!!

- as man they probably think they stole their shit

- awww her with her hair pulled back is so cuuuuute

- oooooo 4th floor is so pretty!!!!

- good lord Senshi

- ok the kelpie is sick af but the shadow was HORRIFYING

- he tried to warn youuuuu

- poor Senshi :(

- ah man they died again!!!

- OH SHOOT SIREN

- PFFFT did he just irritate the siren away???

- Laios, you're ridiculous, I love it

- those people are so gonna try and fight them aren't they

- I love these characters so much

- AWHDGSHDJ SENSHI AND MARCILLE BONDINGGGGG

- OH GOD, NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE

- RUN MF RUN

- I love the way Marcille talks so much

- "WHAT HAVE I DONE!" XD

- Laios did you just eat raw parasite

- YOU DID

- this conciquences my friend

- they're all so silly I love them

- awww that's his sister isn't it?

- omg Falin and Marcille lore

- Falin taught her to be adventurous 😭

- this is so cute help

- "mind your business" PFFFT

- oh my god he didn't know about them in school I'm gonna cry

- I knew I hated pony tail guy for a reason!! He ditched them!!!

- oh shit oh shit oh shit

- OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT

- LET'S GO TEAM COME ON YOU GOT THIS

- what was that????

- oop they got revived again

- now that I know axe lady is also part of the old party, I wonder what their meeting will be like, and why didn't they react to seeing her dead?

- WILD KRATTS THAT'S THE SHOW, he looks like Martin Kratt

- they're meeting oh boy

- wait, I thought the axe lady was in the other group, they have a different one?

- OH GOD SHE GOT SNIPED IN THE BRAIN

- what an ass!!!!

- oh funky dungeon lore

- Senshi without his helmet?!?!?!

- DANGER NOODLES, Laios you're adorable

- way to go axe lady!!!

- Namari! I couldn't remember she name

- yessss our girl is back in action

- LET'S GO NAMARI

- damn Chilchuck...

- ponytail man (Shuro as I now know), wanted to propose to Falin??? Were they dating?? How could he ditch them?????

- ok so Namari said it's not about money, she wants to join that other party, but saving Falin wasn't enough???

- good lord this show is so weird and I love it

- not them complimenting her into wearing it XD

- SENSHI IN THE SUIT

- ah lovely, fantasy racism

- did she just call Laios and Falin's hair brown???

- those 2 are blonde af

- awww Marcille 😭

- I'm nervous, they're at the stage of fighting the dragon, but we're only halfway through the season

- awww Laios

- Chilchuck don't call the precious boy cringe how dare you

- DRAGON

- AHHHHH

- EPISODE 11 HERE WE GO

- KENSUKE HOW COULD YOU

- NOT THE AXE

- SENSHI

- LET'S GO CHILCHUCK

- OH SHIT

- HOLY SHIT LAIOS

- did Falin just bonk the ghost out of Laios XD

- daaaaamn nice job Marcille!!!

- awww she looks so pretty with her hair done up like that!

- oh no

- GOOD GOD

- EPISODE 12

- holy crap Marcille

- Falin!!!

- y'all I'm gonna cry

- gay?????

- I really appreciate the fact that even though they're naked, it's not being sexualized like most animes I've seen. They're just existing.

- you tell him Marcille!!!

- good god Senshi

- sooooo Falin came back different

- omg Chilchuck in a turtle neck

- YES THE SIBLINGS ARE BOTH WEIRD

- I was scared Falin was gonna be a one dimensional character but she's awesome I'm happy

- pfffft Marcille's reaction

- MYSETRIOUS PAINTING ELF LADY

- Episode 13

- woah I do not like the big eye thing she just did

- ruhroh

- uhhhh what the hell

- bro something is in Falin

- ok whoops that's a guy, but THAT'S THE MAD MAGE???

- oh fug

- BEAT HIS ASS MARCILLE

- PFFFFT Senshi holding 2 mini dragons XD

- Marcille are you really trying to get advice on making dungeons right now

- OH HELL

- this got a lot less wholesome y'all

- I still love it though

- are the ghosts helping them now cuz of Falin?

- oh shit I thought I was wrong for a sec but they really are being chill

- OOP

- OH GOD

- oh the ghosts here are just always friendly

- awww little puppy yawn

- I can't tell if Chilchuck cares about them or not. He does right? I'm bad at reading stuff sometimes

- I'm going with yes he does

- yeah, yes he does

- Episode 14

- oooo new intro sequence

- it's weird that Falin isn't shown at all in the intro, and neither are all the others in the last one

- ah ok NOW they've been revived

- these guys really aren't great at staying alive

- man are they gonna die AGAIN?

- TACTICAL SMOOCH

- the lead guy from the corpse retrieval office sounds so familiar

- Kabru is a little creepy rn

- ok make that a lot creepy

- DUDE HE JUST PERMAKILLED THOSE GUYS

- permakills them but doesn't take their shit, weird set of morals you got there buddy

- dang, guess he figured out who it was and why

- I love that they added the detail of Rin twirling her hair when she's thinking and stuff

- Kabru is freaking me out y'all

- ok so he's pissed at them for being duped??

- these people are very devoted to this guy, "you're the only one who could possibly lead"???

- oooo pretty snake

- who's that???

- oh shit ponytail guy

- ew why are they doting on him like that

- I don't like this

- yeesh, our party is noooot doing well at the moment

- Episode 15

- THEIR EYES AHHHHH

- awww, he seemed to relate to the protector dryad :( he loves the party so much

- Marcille is coocoo bananas and I love it

- SENSHI NO

- awww poor awkward Laios

- omfg her single set of eyelashes XD

- Episode 16

- you leave Laios alone, he's trying his best ok

- bro what is Kabru's deal, he is freaking me out

- OH HELL

- I agree with Marcille's reaction of "woah hey"

- see, why did they have to just barely cover her chest with feathers, that's ridiculous

- listen here Shuro, Marcille did her best

- Laios has never taken anything more seriously than this how dare you insinuate otherwise just because you don't understand!!!!

- HE'S AUTISTIC YOU FUCK. NO ONE CAN KNOW HOW YOU'RE FEELING IF YOU DON'T TELL THEM.

- god I hate Shuro so much, I knew he was bad news from the first moment I saw him

- I swear to god if y'all don't stop hating on Marcille for doing her best here I'm gonna lose ittttt

- ugh maybe Laios finally beat some sense into that idiot

- alright the bell thing and offer to help them flee makes me like him a bit. He just needed a good knock in the head.

- Episode 18

- ooooooo snow

- PFFFT everyone using Laios as a wind shield

- UMMM WHO'S HOLDING ON TO MARCILLE RN

- HUH????

- bro HOW can he not tell the Senshis apart at the very least, his whole face is different!!!

- WRONG, Marcille will always complain

- BRUH

- I'm so frustrated right now

- oh hey he did it right!

- Laios is such a weirdo I love him so much

- thank you for saving the goof Marcille

- PFFFT Senshi picking up the rice trail XD

- GET YOUR MF CLAWS OF MARCILLE RN

- Episode 19

- I think it's cute Senshi has conceded to at least use magic circles instead of insisting on making a fire

- aww cat kid is adorable

- oh my god cat kid is joining!!!!

- Izutsumi, got it

- ooooo, Marcille lore??

- awww she has a Falin doll 😭

- oh shit the doll IS Falin

- oh Laios, this is not going well

- oh man she's scared of everyone dying around her because she lives so long isn't it

- yeah 😭

- LET'S GOOOOOO

- Episode 20

- Izutsumi is in the intro now!!!

- PFFFT of course Senshi accidentally made an ice golem

- Laios you sweetie pie 😭

- let's go cat girl!!!!

- see they fully covered Izutsumi's chest, why couldn't they do that for Falin

- it's still so weird to see Senshi without his helmet

- I appreciate they didn't sexualize them all being in the makeshift sauna together

- they're so cute in their winter outfits!!!

- wait, where'd Marcille's staff go?????

- ok Izutsumi you're being a lil mean rn

- you're lucky she came back for your ass!!

- god I adore Laios and his dumbassery

- would a Barometz technically be vegan since the "sheep" it grows isn't really an animal? I grew up vegan but even I don't know. I feel like yes?

- I do miss the original 4, but Izutsumi is fun

- Episode 21

- oh hey it's the elf with short white hair from the first intro

- bruh finally we get Laios acknowledging the "hallucinations"

- here we go!

- ew Soushi

- why is that unicorn's horn on its nose

- oh?????

- this village is Soushi and Laios's dream

- awww Marcille looks so pretty!!! As always ofc

- Marcille and Izutsumi being like mom and daughter is so cute omfg

- Yaad, I'm so suspicious of you

- oh shit that's where the ghosts came from

- poor Laios, that's a lot of pressure

- Episode 22

- PFFFFFFT, the girls are crammed in with Chilchuck XD

- THISTLE, WE HAVE A NAME FOR THE MAD MAGE

- ah man, this is sad

- so I'm beginning to understand how this dungeon was made, but what about all the others in the world. I'm assuming this one is special because of thistle?

- uh oh, why is Senshi nervous

- GRIFFIN, SIIIIICK

- we've never seen Senshi afraid of something before (he hates magic but that's more of like hating it than being scared)

- oh shit she just snipped off a big ol chunk of hair no hesitation

- bro I didn't think of any of that until Chilchuck mentioned it. I was so swept up in his awesomeness

- it's gonna be goofy isn't it

- oh yeah

- let's go team!!!!

- ok Senshi time to fess up

- awww Marcille's sky fish 😭

- Chilchuck lore???

- WIFE AND KIDS??????

- Episode 23

- oh shit dude this is dark

- dude...

- DUDE

- DUUUUUUDE

- y'all I'm so sad right now

- oh Laios

- 😭😭😭

- I'm gonna cry

- I'M NOT CRYING, YOU'RE CRYING

- OH MY GOD

- SENSHI IS KILLING ME OMFG

- IZUTSUMI

- all of them switching clothes and responsibilities is so funny

- please do not make them have to progress like this

- oh my god the ducking mollusk is the reason they can pass when no one else can?!?!?!?!

- I want them normal again :(

- one more epiaode???? Oh boy

- Episode 24

- Izutsumi gives me heavy Catra vibes

- bro really just headbutted a rock creature

- aww Chilchuck saving Marcille is so god damn cute

- wait so can't they just do 2 person rings and change each other back?

- oh geez poor Marcille

- oooooh ok nvm

- headcanon: Izutsumi has ARFID

- they're back!!!!

- ooooo Laios and Falin lore???

- Falin 1000% saw her brother wasn't doing great and that's why she followed him

- AWBJXJEKS IZUTSUMI TRYING TO COMFORT MARCILLE

- wait so they're gonna cut Falin's upper body off the main body and then eat the main body??????

- good god they're gonna get everyone to eat it, I swear if that's the finale I'm gonna lose it

- oh shit they're leading the elves in

- PFFFT FALIN GETTING SCARED BY THISTLE

- WOW. Ok I really love this show I'm really glad I watched it and I'm so excited for Season 2!!! I'll link that below once it comes out and I watch it!

[impossiblesuitcase]

adri is certified The Worst but i’ve always wondered if cinder and pearl would eventually reconcile. I can imagine it happening once they’re much older than they are in the series (in their 20s or 30s maybe) because I think they would be able to make some amount of peace with each other for peony’s memory.

"that ask sent prematurely my bad, lowkey I think a showdown between Pearl and Iko years later would be hilarious, but the writer in me wants to see Pearl mature and develop beyond the person she was when she lived as her mother’s favorite and a pampered teenager. It’s hard to imagine what Pearl would become later on in life but I believe she would be more inclined/motivated to become a better person than her mother would be, especially because she’s so young when the events of the series happen and she has more room to grow. I don’t think her and Cinder would ever be friends, per se, but I can envision them eventually making peace and I wanted to know your thoughts on that whole can of worms lol" (the rest of the ask, I'll answer it in one).

Okay, but Pearl doesn't necessarily know that Iko is now in the escort droid body. So imagine the two meet and Pearl says, "you're so pretty, let's be besties!" Then Iko just slowly turns to her and sings back, "sorry, I already have a best friend. The empress of the Eastern Commonwealth. Heard of her?"😂

Here's my thoughts on Pearl. Pearl is designed to mimic Adri. Kai notes that "the resemblance between the two was remarkable", and that is not just visually. Pearl has absorbed all her mother's personality. And yet, she is not just a product of her upbringing. Her father—although a mentally-distant bumbling sort of a man—was by no means cruel or prejudiced like his wife. And even with Adri's awful influence, Peony grew up lovely and compassionate. So Pearl's poor personality cannot be blamed solely on Adri—she is bad by her own choices and attitudes.

Pearl is an interesting take on the wicked stepsister archetype. She was a young girl who had her family unit disrupted by this orphan entering it. She's forced to move out of her own bedroom, and Peony starts playing with her 'new sister', and then their father dies. In a small child's brain, it would be easy to associate all these changes with Cinder, especially when your mother openly condemns the girl. This is clear in Pearl's reaction to Peony's death, and her telling Cinder "I know you killed her," and "You shouldn't even say [Peony's] name." Yes, she's vain, yes, she's haughty, but also someone deep in grief and looking to throw blame.

We see Pearl return in Winter and she's no better. But with some time, I do think it could be possible that Pearl matures past those resentments. Let's say she stays on the anti-Cinder bandwagon for years, and when people ask her to justify those views, she explains all of Cinder's 'atrocious' deeds. Being the sole income provider for their family. Wanting to belong where she's not wanted. Neglected, verbally and physically assaulted. When Pearl says this to people, they stare at her like she's grown a third eyeball. "So...you're saying the empress is bad and you know because your family...neglected and harassed her?"

Eventually, they begin to dismantle her logic, and she's faced with the reality that not everything lines up.

Then Cinder names her daughter Peony. Adri is livid, and so is Pearl, but as Adri starts to claim "that wretched cyborg stole Peony's name as 'revenge' against us," Pearl is watching the newsfeed of Cinder and Kai, lovingly holding their daughter and looking at her with so much love. Then Pearl begins to think that maybe, just maybe, Cinder used that name because she loved Linh Peony. Maybe not everything about her is as malicious as it seems.

So Pearl takes a baby blanket embroidered with a peony flower, and goes to New Beijing Palace.

Cinder is floored when her secretary informs her that Linh Pearl is here to see her. Iko tells Cinder to send her away, but Kai—although visibly annoyed—tells Cinder that it is her decision. Cinder's curiosity is too strong, so she lets Pearl in.

Pearl is not nice. She comes in rather briskly, drops the gift on the table, and announces, "it's for the princess. Not for you."

"...Okay?" Cinder replies.

Then Pearl softens. "You named her after my sister, didn't you?"

"Yes."

A nod. "Because you loved her."

"I do love her," Cinder repeats her words from so long ago.

Pearl looks down, says nothing, and nods again. Then she leaves.

Cinder is stunned by the whole encounter, and the gift, but feels surprisingly relieved to have Pearl's 'approval'. They never become friends, they never associate, but they end it on what could be interpreted as a satisfactory note.

Now that's one head-canon possibility. I also think it's entirely possible that this never happens and Pearl remains stuck-up and hates Cinder for the rest of her days. Up to you all to decide.

Anyway thanks for the ask, I love to hear your thoughts vincentvangothic. I also need a nickname for you. Vincy? Gothy?

[viilpstick]

The Housewarden's pouty expression drew everyone's attention on Royal Sword Academy. Maizie, known for her ever-present smile, had the a solemn face, on her birthday. She glanced at Cordelia, seeking understanding or either reasoning.

"I am sorry, May, if Simeon said you can't go to Night Raven College, you can't. We can't argue against it." Cordelia sighed, then turned her gaze back to Maizie's puppy face once more. "Stop with that look..." Maizie fluttered her eyelashes, hoping for pity from her friend. "Simeon! Do something!"

Simeon facepalmed as he realized the situation was becoming more challenging. Maizie longed to visit her boyfriend in NRC, yet he hadn't contacted her, not even to wish her a happy birthday. Saddened by this, she hoped Azul hadn't forgotten, but she needed confirmation. She turned to Simeon, hoping he would agree to take her to NRC so she could talk to him.

"It's her boyfriend, we should take her there to see him. It's her birthday!" Ponder sided with Maizie, nodding in agreement as she stood with hands on her hips and a proud stance, yet daring. "And what the birthday girl wants the birthday girl gets." The first year boy said.

Maizie could only nod in happiness she had a friend backing her up.

"Well, he should or could write her a message." Simeon fixed his glasses. "Like, a normal merman."

"Azul? A normal merman? Have you even talked with him?" Cordelia side-eyed, glancing at her friend, who wore an expression of frustration. "Fine. I'm with Maizie." She crossed her arms.

"You...!" Simeon's forehead vein bulged, but eventually, he sighed, conceding defeat. "Alright, alright. You may go... Just need an authorization from Ambrose."

"Okay, so... Without ANY warning, you make a surprise party... TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND. Who stays in the OTHER side of this island? UNSURE, if she will even be able to visit you today. So, instead of sending a normal 'happy birthday', you get the WHOLE Monstro Lounge ready for her Birthday? Detail; we don't know if she is coming." Jeanne expressed her disbelief through her incredulous expression, clearly not convinced by Azul's choice.

"Yes, next question." Azul fixed his glasses. On background, Grace was getting chased by Floyd, as she threaten to scratch his eyeball off. "She is persistent whatsoever, I know she will come. Unless, that minion of her father, gets on the way like a tree... We are save."

"Ne, Sebastian will come?" Floyd enthusiastically ask, after all, he would be more than delighted to annoy a friend.

"His name is Simeon, Leech." Said Grace with tired look on her face, as she was being squeezed by Floyd.

"Same thing, peapuffer!" He squeezed his eyes shut, his smile widening even further.

Azul and Jeanne watched the scene with unamused expressions as poor Grace attempted to push Floyd away, who held decorations in his hand. Azul then turned back to the woman with the hooked hand.

"I need you to give this to her, as soon she arrives."

Azul hands Jeanne the seashell necklace, which she watches with a curious look.

"Heh, I knew love made us blind, never thought made us blind enough to give jewelry to a pirate." Jeanne teasingly said as if threatening to steal, with the hook holding the necklace.

"Remember, your Kalim is friends with Maizie. He wouldn't be that happy to hear his girlfriend stole something from his friend. Would he?"

Jeanne eyes squeezed in annoyance. "Whatever, I was just playing." She puts the necklace in her pocket. "If the necklace makes her speak though, why not give it to her? I don't think you actually-"

"-This is not the best sorcery of magic. It's good, and powerful to make someone curse into never speak, well, speak, talk! But, it may also conflict with other magic objects, such as our wands."

Azul finishes to explain, while Jeanne stood with her arms crossed, analyzing the situation carefully.

"So, what you are saying is, Maizie using it for too long... May cause her to overblot or something similar?" He nods. "Truly a pity, her voice is definitely a treasure."

Azul chuckled. "Indeed."

The arrival didn't caused the students any alarm. Whatsoever, the recognition the princess held made anyone who saw her in the hallways grant her with loads of happy birthday wishes. Maizie, whatsoever, would only be satisfied once she got to see Azul.

"Hey, princess." Jeanne says emerging from shadows. On her side, the white haired boy, housewarden of Scarabia. "Lil' gift for ya," She hands the necklace to Maizie. "Happy birthday." The pirate winks with a smirk on her face.

"Maizieee! Happy birthday!" Kalim hugs Maizie warmly, which she replicated the act in seconds. Once they broke the hug, Maizie put the necklace on. "I will get your gift after the-" Jeanne covers his mouth.

"We better get going. If you wonder, Azul is on his dorm."

Maizie smiles brightly. "Thank you, you both. Jeanne and Kalim, you guys are the sweetest."

Jeanne genuine smiles towards the gal. "Don't mention."

In a rush, Maizie sprinted towards the dorms, occasionally getting lost along the way. Luckily, with the help of a fellow student and a talking weasel, she managed to find her destination. As she arrived at Octavinelle, she noticed an unusual quietness enveloping the area. The lights on the first floor were all off, and the atmosphere was eerily quiet compared to its usual lively ambiance.

"He... Not possible." She whispers opening the door. "Hello?" She comes inside, looking around the darkness. Oh, he actually did... The door closes, and she hears a union.

"Happy Birthday, Maizie!"

She covers her mouth with a gasp, delighted by the surprise. The smile on her face each time grew bigger. Kalim and Jeanne found the place sooner than her, that's how they were already there. Not to mention, Jade, Floyd and Grace helding a cake.

"You all..." The soothing voice of Maizie broke, nearly on the brink of tears. She loved surprises, so how could she not be happy? "Thank you so much!"

"Aww, Samuel didn't came..." Pouted Floyd on the crowd.

"Floyd-" Sighed Grace.

Azul took the lead, gently grasping Maizie's hands. "Did you like it?" he asked softly.

"Like it? I love it! But how could you know if I would come?" Maizie inquired.

"He didn't!"

Jeanne interjected with a shout, Maizie's expression shifted from excitement to confusion as she processed the revelation.

"Oh…" She turns to Azul "Worth the risk?"

"For you? Always." he replied with a reassuring smile, kissing her forehead. He clears his throat in embarrassing. "Moving on-"

"Hey! Maizie!" Floyds throws a white jacket into her.

The girls takes the jacket off her face with a confused glance. She looks to others hoping for an explanation.

"And this is for...?" With a confused chuckle, she asks.

"Is boss' jacket! Since you are not from here, but you are having a birthday party here, use it."

"Floyd, she is not- Wait, how did you even get it?!" Azul tries to argue, but there Maizie was, his jacket on her. He sighs in defeat. "Amazing, my pearl."

Maizie's confusion softened into a gentle smile as she absorbed the moment turning to the rest of the group.

"So, who is up for cake?" The birthday girl asks.

After all, what the birthday girl wants the birthday girl gets.

(Cordelia is owned by @justm3di0cr3, Jeanne is owned by @midnightmah07)

[sandmark]

get to know juno better!

what's your phone wallpaper? on my phone, it's a picture of my husband and son. on my ipad, it's birth of venus by botticelli, but with hello kitty as aphrodite. last song you listened to? 360 by charli xcx. i'm obsessed with her new album, it's just too good. also, having rachel sennott in the 360 mv helps LOL. currently reading? venus & aphrodite: a biography of desire by bethany hughes. last movie? minions for the billionth time. what are you wearing right now? my university sweatshirt and baggy jeans. i have an apple watch and evil eye bracelet on my right wrist, and my hair is up in a clip rn. i was gonna wear my medusa necklace, but i chose not to. how tall are you? 5'3.9. i was told i was 5'4 my whole childhood, and now in my adulthood, i was told they were rounding up so i'm actually 5'3.9. piercings / tattoos? okay so. i used to have my nose double pierced, my helix on both ears pierced, my conch pierced on my left ear, my belly button pierced, and my septum pierced. not all at once, but i've gone through quite a bit of piercings lol. currently, i have my earlobes double pierced. i want to get piercings redone bc i took them all out when i got pregnant. i don't have tattoos, but i want some sooooooo bad. glasses / contacts? i've worn glasses since high school. i've thought about getting contacts, but i had a friend who wore contacts and one of them rolled up and got caught between his eyeball and eyelid so :D i remember that whenever i consider contacts. last thing you ate? cinnamon raisin bagel with plain cream cheese and two cups of coffee lmfao. fav color? ugh i don't really have a color i dislike. it depends on my mood honestly. my husband hates when i do this, but i always say like "i'm in a purple mood" or "i'm in a pink mood" lmao. right now, i'm in a green mood, but not like a general green more like a sage green or forest green. i tend to gravitate towards neutrals when it comes to my appearance, i'm not an over the top person even tho i love love love those kinds of looks, but on my person, i stick with simple, neutral colors. current obsession? i've been playing animal crossing: new horizons on and off for the past year or so, but i've picked it back up and i am determined to get 100%. i recently achieved 5 stars on my island and i was really excited about that. do you have a crush right now? like celebrities? rachel sennott, zendaya, tom holland, victoria monet, megan thee stallion, ayo edebiri. in real life? just my husband lol. fav fictional character? obvs cassie sandsmark. the wonderfam in general, i love women. i'm actually a HUGE batfam girl, like dick grayson was my first robin and he's still my fave, but i love the other batboys too. i can discuss bruce's psyche and characterization for hours. i love peter parker/spider-man, too. he was my first marvel character and holds a special place in my heart. iron man is a fave too. but those are really the only male characters i like? i grew up watching them, so that's why. in general, i prefer female characters and sources of media that female-centered. last place you traveled? i dropped my son off at daycare </3 i miss him already.

tagged by: i stole this from @maidmyth. tagging: you :)

[halothenthehorns]

Chapter 3: THE UNDERWORLD SENDS ME A PRANK CALL

Happy Halloween! What a perfectly spooky chapter to kickstart this book!

We have been getting so much Disney PJO stuff I have not been able to put this fic down even though I usually read more on my off times than write. I have chapters predone! I am so excited for this!

Which you still don't get to read until every Monday!

PJOPJOPJO

Alex snatched the book away and ignored the slightly sticky feeling of Magnus's jam fingers lingering on there and how he kind of wanted to sniff it to see what flavor it was as he loudly yelled the new title.

"Why does it not surprise me Bart Simpson made it to hell," Percy nodded, chewing thoughtfully on his pen cap and looking at Nico for what could be going on. The splitting headache he immediately got for this effort quickly made that no fun at all.

"My question is does Percy fall for it?" Thalia was already giving him a tragic look of disappointment. "Please don't tell me you cut up a refrigerator because a shadow made you jump."

Alex waited for the snickering to subside before he started reading, it really was something to be patient for.

Nothing caps off the perfect morning like a long taxi ride with an angry girl.

"You didn't summon the blind ladies again did you?" Magnus looked queasy at just the thought.

"We weren't in as big a hurry as last time," Percy promised, rubbing his stomach at the reminder. "Annabeth gave me the same filthy look though like I stole their eyeball and we were speeding half the time while I clutched my seatbelt, so really, it wasn't that different. Made me miss Tyson."

"I'll scream random numbers at you if you like, really dig home that sense of Deja vu," Alex offered.

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind," Percy promised.

I tried to talk to Annabeth, but she was acting like I'd just punched her grandmother.

"Rhea's done nothing to deserve that Percy," Will snorted, "or would it be Hera?" He muttered with his own cross-eyed look for trying to figure out which would get the title in this case.

"In some versions, Athena doesn't even have a mother, so Annabeth can't even be mad at him for punching someone who doesn't exist," Nico agreed.

"I thought we agreed not to talk about this!" Percy clutched at his ears in instant denial of how weird everything they said was.

"You brought it up," Thalia sided with them. "I'm personally more along the lines of laughing at you tracking down Dr. Chase's mom and punching her for not being around her grandkids enough."

"Next time, I'll think to myself where nobody else should hear, she was acting like I'd punched her best friend," Percy said triumphantly.

"Percy," Jason frowned in concern, "that's you. Why would you punch yourself in the face?"

"Argh," Percy bowed his head in defeat and Alex took pity on him and decided to keep going, despite how curious he was to see how deep Percy could keep digging himself.

All I managed to get out of her was that she'd had a monster infested spring in San Francisco; she'd come back to camp twice since Christmas but wouldn't tell me why (which kind of ticked me off, because she hadn't even told me she was in New York);

Magnus tried his best not to look accusingly at Percy, as Percy instantly shifted to his own concern and promised, "I found out about this in front of Sacks, I swear I didn't know. I sort of wanted a sack on my head when she told me."

Nobody bothered to laugh at the stupid joke, their worry for Annabeth clearly having hidden at least some of her hardships from Percy didn't make anyone feel better.

Percy sunk back into his seat bending his pen, his stomach rumbling for popcorn he'd deny himself now. Would she have told him, during the credits of the movie as they laughed about having put to much salt on their snack? Would she have given him details as they went back to his place, tried to stop denying how little she fit into the mortal world? His mom would have invited her in, just like always, and Annabeth would have inhaled blue cookies until Paul came over for dinner.

It was supposed to feel perfect.

and she'd learned nothing about the whereabouts of Nico di Angelo (long story).

"Am I?" Nico asked blankly, his mind to awash with shock that Percy was actually still looking for him at all. Especially six months later! He would have thought his name wouldn't pop up again until Geryon's farm at minimum.

"Took a whole book to explain it to me, and there's still plenty I didn't get," Percy shrugged, still staring at him kind of strangely like he half expected Nico to spontaneously start getting hearts in his eyes or something. "I still don't even know who this is supposed to be narrated to!" He finished in loud exasperation to the ocean in general.

Will bit down on his lip hard to stop himself asking Nico if he was okay. He didn't look it. He still had a dazed kind of expression like something was in his eye. Will certainly hadn't forgotten him, but then, he'd always done his best to never forget any kid that passed through camp. Jay Martin had loved to stitch and embroidered a beautiful flag for the Hermes cabin, Rory Wayler had loved swimming, Nico Di Angelo had loved Mythomagic, the list went on and on...

"Any word on Luke?" I asked.

She shook her head. I knew this was a touchy subject for her. Annabeth had always admired Luke, the former head counselor for Hermes who had betrayed us and joined the evil Titan Lord Kronos. She wouldn't admit it, but I knew she still liked him. When we'd fought Luke on Mount Tamalpais last winter, he'd somehow survived a fifty-foot fall off a cliff. Now, as far as I knew, he was still sailing around on his demon-infested cruise ship while his chopped-up Lord Kronos re-formed, bit by bit, in a golden sarcophagus, biding his time until he had enough power to challenge the Olympian gods.

"And you said I was a long story," Nico said, clearly unimpressed. "I could have summed up my shit twice as fast as that." He held up one finger, "find kids at boarding school," second finger that was suspiciously out of line, "leave one kid at camp," third finger, "Nico's sister went on quest with me and didn't come back," pinky finger, "now I think Nico wants me dead." He looked around at Percy daring him to contradict him. It was weirdly freeing and morbidly funny Percy was gazing back at him with a twitching mouth. He'd always thought he'd want to melt into the shadows permanently if Percy ever laughed at him, now here he was inviting it.

"You got me Nico," Percy chuckled, "Luke was just more worrisome and much more trouble, definitely needed more context for whichever idiot decided to pick up a book with a four on it first."

"I think you're important enough to get a paragraph Nico," Will grinned. "I think you should get a whole book next."

"Don't even joke about that," Nico looked at him in tragic betrayal.

In demigod-speak, we call this a "problem."

"I'm sure mortals would call that a problem too," Magnus assured from his end. "Nine out of ten things you ever come across would be a major problem."

"Your mom's the exception," Alex added helpfully like Percy had missed that.

"Yeah, I accept that," Percy sighed.

"Mount Tam is still overrun with monsters," Annabeth said. "I didn't dare go close, but I don't think Luke is up there. I think I would know if he was."

"Does she have a GPS tracker on him?" Thalia asked mildly. "Is she not sharing that information?" She could never mock her little sister about this to her face, but Annabeth wasn't here and that was a silly thing to say.

"I'm sure she has a wise ass answer for you that involves troops coagulating-"

"Congregating," Magnus sighed.

"-and weather patterns," Percy shrugged, but he didn't look much happier at Annabeth claiming that.

That didn't make me feel much better. "What about Grover?"

"He's at camp," she said. "We'll see him today."

"Why does she know more about what's going on with your best friend than you?" Jason frowned.

"He's not as good having drachma on him for IM'ing," Percy frowned, "he loses his pants to much. At least I'd probably know if he was in real trouble," he tapped the side of his head uneasily. He still got random cravings for cheese enchiladas and smiled delightedly at flowers growing through cracks in the sidewalk like he never had before his empathy link, so he was sure that was still working fine.

"Did he have any luck? I mean, with the search for Pan?"

Annabeth fingered her bead necklace, the way she does when she's worried.

"You'll see," she said. But she didn't explain.

"That's a bad habit of hers," Magnus huffed.

"It doesn't seem very wise to constantly not be telling you everything!" Alex was mostly mocking but also annoyed about it too.

"It's a good thing she has a whole personality outside of her parent then," Percy rolled his eyes at them.

As we headed through Brooklyn, I used Annabeth's phone to call my mom. Half-bloods try not to use cell phones if we can avoid it, because broadcasting our voices is like sending up a flare to the monsters: Here I am! Please eat me now!

"I want to know who pays for that subscription now, her dad or Chiron?" Jason asked with a weird mix of concern for whoever it was. He felt like both meant well and were just inviting trouble.

"I'm going to call crap on this entire gaslighting community if Percy isn't attacked by a monster by the time he gets to camp," Alex said, completely nonplussed. "First Rachel name drops a bunch of monsters in the gym which is a no-no, now this, I think someone somewhere just started lying to make things more complicated to you guys and nobody's gotten to the truth of it yet."

"An investigation I'm sure we can gladly sick Annabeth on," Will snorted.

But I figured this call was important. I left a message on our home voice mail, trying to explain what had happened at Goode. I probably didn't do a very good job. I told my mom I was fine, she shouldn't worry, but I was going to stay at camp until things cooled down. I asked her to tell Paul Blofis I was sorry.

Percy breathed deeply through his nose and let it out slowly through his mouth. He owed his mom so much more than a sorry. If Paul even answered the phone he imagined any number of hurtful things he could say to his mom about her delinquent son and things would end so badly because she defended him. Days like this he wished his mom had abandoned him at camp, she really would have been better off.

"Percy?" Magnus asked in concern. He knew that guilt ridden look the scarce few times he'd been in front of a mirror.

It drew everyone's attention though, and Percy really didn't want to hear a bunch of nice claims like his mom loved him and didn't regret it. He knew that, but it wasn't making him feel better.

"Mmm, yeah," Percy agreed, "just hoping Alex is wrong and we don't attract monsters." He made an impatient movement to keep the reading going.

We rode in silence after that. The city melted away until we were off the expressway and rolling through the countryside of northern Long Island, past orchards and wineries and fresh produce stands.

Will smiled to himself, remembering the first time he'd come through this way on the back of a swan. The sun had just been starting to rise, and he'd been so pleasantly surprised and in awe to see how beautiful this landscape was after his ride had skirted all of those huge never ending buildings of the city.

I stared at the phone number Rachel Elizabeth Dare had scrawled on my hand. I knew it was crazy, but I was tempted to call her. Maybe she could help me understand what the empousa had been talking about—the camp burning, my friends imprisoned. And why had Kelli exploded into flames?

"Annabeth stops talking to you for five minutes and you want to decompress with a mortal?" Jason didn't sound insulting, just very dubious of how helpful that would really be.

"You met her," Percy needlessly reminded, "she's got this, this way of making you think she knows what's going on."

Jason nodded in agreement to that, she had a powerful aura to her.

I knew monsters never truly died. Eventually—maybe weeks, months, or years from now—

"Or in Percy's luck, five minutes later," Will oh so helpfully inserted.

"Thank you Will, we all so needed that reminder," he sighed.

Kelli would re-form out of the primordial nastiness seething in the Underworld. But still, monsters didn't usually let themselves get destroyed so easily. If she really was destroyed.

The taxi exited on Route 25A. We headed through the woods along the North Shore until a low ridge of hills appeared on our left. Annabeth told the driver to pull over on Farm Road 3.141, at the base of Half-Blood Hill.

The driver frowned. "There ain't nothing here, miss. You sure you want out?"

"Yes, please," Annabeth handed him a roll of mortal cash, and the driver decided not to argue.

"I need a book of excuses for when they do argue though," Alex's twitching lips already promised he was making up his own anyway.

"Bad ass scavenger hunt," Magnus said off the top of his head.

"The forest is haunted and I'm out here scrying for attention," Thalia smirked.

"My camp is on the other side, but it's invitation only," Jason said in a very posh voice.

"I'd tell you but I'd have to kill you," Percy snickered.

"This is the only place my mom lets me have band practice," Will chuckled.

Nico almost waited a beat to long. Nobody sat around and watched everybody else to see if someone had something to say before they kept on reading, especially not Alex. But the goofy thought sprung to mind, and he made himself say it before it was just interrupting and out of context. "Secret nerd convention. That sends most people running."

"All highly acceptable answers I will be stealing," Alex nodded his thanks.

Annabeth and I hiked to the crest of the hill. The young guardian dragon was dozing,

"Because that's still just a casual thing," Magnus rolled his eyes. He wondered if Zoe had spent her spare time there up cuddling with Peleus while missing Ladon.

coiled around the pine tree, but he lifted his coppery head as we approached and let Annabeth scratch under his chin. Steam hissed out his nostrils like from a teakettle, and he went cross-eyed with pleasure.

Magnus's heart did melt quite a bit hearing that though. He smiled hopefully this was the only dragon he'd have to hear about from now on. At least he sounded like a cute, friendly one.

"Hey, Peleus," Annabeth said. "Keeping everything safe?"

The last time I'd seen the dragon he'd been six feet long. Now he was at least twice that, and as thick around as the tree itself. Above his head, on the lowest branch of the pine tree, the Golden Fleece shimmered, its magic protecting the camp's borders from invasion. The dragon seemed relaxed, like everything was okay. Below us, Camp Half-Blood looked peaceful— green fields, forest, shiny white Greek buildings. The four-story farmhouse we called the Big House sat proudly in the midst of the strawberry fields. To the north, past the beach, the Long Island Sound glittered in the sunlight.

Still...something felt wrong. There was tension in the air, as if the hill itself were holding its breath, waiting for something bad to happen.

"I've been doing that since we wound up down here," Magnus promised.

"Same," Nico muttered.

"Liars," Alex scoffed, "you two would have passed out by now, nobody can hold their breath that long."

"You got them Alex," Will chuckled while Magnus and Nico exchanged exasperated looks.

We walked down into the valley and found the summer session in full swing. Most of the campers had arrived last Friday, so I already felt out of it.

"You have still yet to get to camp at any normal time," Jason said in fascination. "At this rate I'd believe you not getting expelled before you wound up there first day with nothing bad going on."

Percy wanted to argue the point, and knew he couldn't.

The satyrs were playing their pipes in the strawberry fields, making the plants grow with woodland magic. Campers were having flying horseback lessons, swooping over the woods on their pegasi. Smoke rose from the forges, and hammers rang as kids made their own weapons for Arts & Crafts.

The Athena and Demeter teams were having a chariot race around the track, and over at the canoe lake some kids in a Greek trireme were fighting a large orange sea serpent. A typical day at camp.

"Why is it orange?" Alex squinted suspiciously. "Was it there first and that's why you picked your camp colors?"

"One of my siblings actually put it in there last weekend," Will shrugged. "Lee was betting Michael he couldn't shoot the sucker off a squid for some reason, but they still had to drag it back to the ocean when they were done."

"I need to talk to Clarisse," Annabeth said.

I stared at her as if she'd just said I need to eat a large, smelly boot.

"Finding Clarisse is kind of like that," Will agreed. "You're usually left wondering why she's there, where did she come from, and how do I get her to go back."

"I hope Annabeth at least tried to add hot sauce to it," Alex snorted.

"What for?"

Clarisse from the Ares cabin was one of my least favorite people.

"Like on a scale of one to ten, how does she rank compared to her dad, and Luke, and that smelly old guy you're convinced is dead on the back of a bus?" Alex asked clinically.

Percy honestly deliberated with himself for a moment before saying, "the smelly guy wins with a three, he's at least quiet and doesn't belch, then Clarisse is a four."

"Good to know for future notice," Alex grinned.

She was a mean, ungrateful bully. Her dad, the war god, wanted to kill me. She tried to beat me to a pulp on a regular basis. Other than that, she was just great.

"And she loves toilets," Jason smirked, "why do you never mention that?"

"Because I'd like to forget about it!" Percy groaned.

"Oh, well, that's not happening," Jason scoffed.

"We've been working on something," Annabeth said. "I'll see you later."

"Are you guys installing another deadly game?" Magnus looked very weary of what this team up could cause. "Giant chess that kills people? Monster simulators?"

"Those sound awesome," Percy grinned.

Magnus looked like Will could stitch the word dread into his forehead.

"Working on what?"

Annabeth glanced toward the forest.

"I'll tell Chiron you're here," she said. "He'll want to talk to you before the hearing."

"What hearing?"

But she jogged down the path toward the archery field without looking back.

"Yeah," I muttered. "Great talking with you, too."

Jason looked like he was trying to eat that mangey old boot named Clarisse. "One of these days we're going to have to strap Annabeth to a chair and make her hear what we've been through with all this cryptic nonsense."

Percy looked like he was deeply considering it himself and Thalia swallowed her own horror at how that could possibly go.

As I made my way through camp, I said hi to some of my friends.

Percy waited for the crack from any of them, their mock shock that he even had friends. It didn't come. Of the two most likely to do so, Alex was reading eagerly for details, probably waiting for something to explode, and Jason had that mystified look on his face like someone said a pink elephant was just casually flying around like usual whenever his Camp was first described. Percy couldn't wait for these books to be done so he could just casually see them around camp too.

In the Big House's driveway, Connor and Travis Stoll from the Hermes cabin were hot-wiring the camps SUV. Silena Beauregard, the head counselor for Aphrodite, waved at me from her Pegasus as she flew past. I looked for Grover, but I didn't see him. Finally I wandered into the sword arena, where I usually go when I'm in a bad mood. Practicing always calms me down.

"You only mentioned four friends," Jason snorted, "when are you going to do a roll call of the whole place?"

"I'm not a psychopath who keeps count of these things," Percy sighed.

Maybe that's because swordplay is one thing I can actually understand.

"I'm very disappointed Annabeth apparently hasn't sat you down and taught you the physics and fluid dynamics behind sword fighting now," Magnus grinned.

"I know where you sleep," Percy jabbed at the rooms beyond, "you will not put that idea in her head!"

Magnus didn't think it so funny, since Percy would have to hunt him down in the streets when they got back to follow through on the threat, but he didn't know that.

I walked into the amphitheater and my heart almost stopped. In the middle of the arena floor, with its back to me, was the biggest hellhound I'd ever seen.

Percy's heart bounced around in his chest like a rubber ball ricocheting off each rib. That dog- hellhound!... he knew...her? His hand wasn't even trying to reach for his pocket now, he just sat looking at the book with a strange expression on his face like someone was trying to describe a giraffe to him.

I mean, I've seen some pretty big hellhounds. One the size of a rhino tried to kill me when I was twelve. But this hellhound was bigger than a tank. I had no idea how it had gotten past the camp's magic boundaries.

Will vividly remembered when Quintus had first had her over the property line. She'd been in the shadows of the forest, just glowing red eyes this stranger was promising them all was a harmless girl. Then Quintus had opened a jar of peanut butter, and she'd come bounding out, tail wagging like a fighter engine's propeller. The jar got stuck on her tongue as she tried to lap it all up at once.

The Stoll's had laughed, Katie had squealed and made apples fall on everyone's head, and Clarisse's eyes had gleamed with a challenge as she went for her spear; before Quintus began scratching her ears and promising them all she was a harmless softie and his pet as her tail felled trees around them making dryads pop out and shriek in shock.

Most of the kids scattered and locked their doors that night, one girl who everybody swore was a child of Echidna asked if she could rub Mrs. O'Leary's belly. It hadn't even been a blip in their life by next week honestly.

It looked right at home, lying on its belly, growling contentedly as it chewed the head off a combat dummy. It hadn't noticed me yet, but if I made a sound, I knew it would sense me. There was no time to go for help. I pulled out Riptide and uncapped it.

Nico winced. He knew it was silly and obviously didn't work, but he was fond of Mrs. O'Leary. She was Percy's dog, but still one of the very few animals who actively liked him whether he wanted her to or not, and he really could summon her down here or wherever he wanted and she'd most likely come, if he wasn't worried about her drowning.

"Yaaaaah!" I charged.

"I should not make a noise while attacking this monster or it will kill me," Alex raised one hand, then leveled the other palm up, "I shall scream like a lunatic while lunging to attack it," he began moving both up and down like scales. "Makes perfect sense to me!"

"Battle reflexes," Percy said with almost a straight face.

I brought down the blade on the monster's enormous backside when out of nowhere another sword blocked my strike.

CLANG!

The hellhound pricked up its ears. "WOOF!"

I jumped back and instinctively struck at the swordsman—a gray-haired man in Greek armor. He parried my attack with no problem.

"That's not the guy who trained Luke, is it," Jason shifted around in distress who this new guy was who could also immediately keep up with Percy.

"Luke learned with me on the streets, no finer tutor," Thalia grimly corrected. It was the kind of learn or die technique that Percy still didn't have as much training in as them. "This is someone else." She wasn't looking forward to hear the tale of Daedalus, a story that had made Annabeth flinch through the majority of the retelling with scant details.

"Whoa there!" he said. "Truce!"

"You're a very lucky guy Percy," Magnus promised him, "there's not many people who wouldn't decide to murder you for attacking their dog."

Percy still looked a little to dumbfounded somebody was defending that massive monster to respond, but he had no heart to argue even if he could. He'd still never drawn his pen, let alone his sword in here, he'd instinctively been surprised at his past self wanting to attack her.

"WOOF!" The hellhound's bark shook the arena.

"That's a hellhound!" I shouted.

"Was she having an identity crisis?" Alex asked in mock concern. "Did she think she was a harpy? That's not really for you to decide Percy."

He threw his hands up in exasperation already. There really was no point arguing that one.

"She's harmless," the man said. "That's Mrs. O'Leary."

Alex smacked his lips together a couple times as he thought about that one. "That's an acceptable name," he decided, leaving the rest of them now vaguely concerned what he considered their names.

"Never understood why people name their pet Mrs. or Mr. anything," Magnus admitted, "who are they married to? Why are we being proper to the critter that licks its junk?"

"Gender affirming care," Alex said in that weirdly serious way where you weren't actually sure if he was messing with you or not. Then he kept reading like nothing had happened.

I blinked. "Mrs. O'Leary?"

At the sound of her name, the hellhound barked again. I realized she wasn't angry. She was excited. She nudged the soggy, badly chewed target dummy toward the swordsman.

"Aw, I think she wants to play fetch," Jason looked like he had a very bright light shining in his eyes. How did this camp manage to get weirder every time he heard of it? They now had pet hellhounds running around. Between her and Percy's brother the cyclops this place seemed like an oasis...so why did it always sound so unwelcome to him?

"Good girl," the man said. With his free hand he grabbed the armored manikin by the neck and heaved it toward the bleachers. "Get the Greek! Get the Greek!"

Mrs. O'Leary bounded after her prey and pounced on the dummy, flattening its armor. She began chewing on its helmet.

"That's a very good trick," Will nodded along. "I'm sure it won't come in handy for anything."

"It's a good thing you never wear armor so she can't confuse you," Nico smirked.

"I slip her her favorite treat, nobody else realizes she loves apples," Will grinned, before he made an exaggerated 'oops' face and put his hand against his mouth.

Nico smiled back at this oddball, his sense of humor was so strange and Nico always wanted to keep watching for more.

The swordsman smiled dryly. He was in his fifties, I guess, with short gray hair and a clipped gray beard. He was in good shape for an older guy.

He wore black mountain-climbing pants and a bronze breastplate strapped over an orange camp T-shirt. At the base of his neck was a strange mark, a purplish blotch like a birthmark or a tattoo, but before I could make out what it was, he shifted his armor straps and the mark disappeared under his collar.

Percy rubbed uncomfortably at the spot on himself, his brain unpleasantly informing him to remember that. He wished his brain would shut up with its unhelpful advice.

"Mrs. O'Leary is my pet," he explained. "I couldn't let you stick a sword in her rump, now, could I? That might have scared her."

"I hope she doesn't pee the floor when she gets scared," Thalia said, "because guess who would have to clean it up."

Percy debated for a moment if it was worth getting the oracle so pissed at him again it would go for another midnight stroll to this place instead. He could blame someone getting the piss scared out of them instead and be exempt.

"Who are you?"

"Promise not to kill me if I put my sword away?"

"I guess."

"Still on track with Percy nearly killing every person he's met," Jason muttered.

"And you were surprised he wasn't listing off a dozen friends," Thalia snorted.

He sheathed his sword and held out his hand. "Quintus."

"His name means five?" Jason's lips twitched in amusement. "Most half-bloods are an only child, but I really hope this guys parents got tired of coming up with names after the fourth kid and just went with that."

Alex threw his head back laughing and Percy shook his head as he grinned along.

I shook his hand. It was as rough as a sandpaper.

"Percy Jackson," I said. "Sorry about—How did you, um—"

"Get a hellhound for a pet? Long story, involving many close calls with death and quite a few giant chew toys.

"That was not much of an explanation," Alex looked hurt this guy hadn't launched off into an instruction manual of how to get his own.

"He's not much of a good story teller," Nico said sardonically. "I can find a pup later, if you really want to raise one." He'd spoken without thinking, he'd gone so long in here with no one freaking out over his mere presence being a death sentence, let alone a casual gesture that was meant as no threat.

By the time he braced himself for Alex to scream about strangling him for summoning a monster, he was already smiling in delight like Nico had just offered him his own close shave with death and a few giant chew toys.

I'm the new sword instructor, by the way.

"There was an old sword instructor?" Magnus asked wearily, already knowing he wasn't going to love this insane story.

"Nope," Will shrugged, "unless you counted, um," he stopped and didn't finish, but a name hung oddly in the air that rhymed with fluke. "No official teachers aside from Chiron," he finished all in a rush.

Alex leaned close to Magnus and murmured, "this place can't keep a competent adult anymore than Percy can stay in school. Ten bucks says he's dead by the end of this summer."

Magnus smiled and laughed just because that's what he was supposed to do. It's not like he could honor giving over a measly ten dollars on the silly wager.

Helping out Chiron while Mr. D is away."

"He's gone?" Percy, Alex, Magnus, and Jason all yelped in varying degrees of shock and pleasure.

"Away," Will corrected with a sigh. "Temporary," he emphasized, not looking particularly pleased.

"Last time he left was because of that winter solstice thing though," Magnus looked far from pleased at this temporary great news. "What could be so important Zeus would lift his punishment again?"

Percy leaned forward anxiously in his seat for that answer too, he knew it probably wasn't a good one.

"Oh." I tried not to stare as Mrs. O'Leary ripped off the target dummy's shield with the arm still attached and shook it like a Frisbee. "Wait, Mr. D is away?"

"You know, that's fair Percy," Will said, "anybody would find that distracting no matter the news." It would have been more believable if Will had said that while trying to stifle a laugh, but Percy appreciated the attempt anyways.

"Yes, well...busy times. Even Dionysus must help out. He's gone to visit some old friends. Make sure they're on the right side. I probably shouldn't say more than that."

Magnus didn't seem to find that answer all that cracked up. "Does he get them drunk and promise them free trips to the casino if they stay on his side of the war?" The wine god couldn't get through a conversation without wanting to kill half his charges, what was he out there doing trying to be a liaison?

"Mr. D wasn't born a god," Thalia informed. "He's a younger god, and as such he has pull with quite a few who fit into that category. Others like Artemis were talking with the older gods, each had their own whom they connected with and tried to find out their position. Athena was the one to talk Zeus into using all those at his disposal."

Jason was in awe of her having a goddesses first hand account of even the most brief meeting like that. The instinct kicked in of trying to scold himself, that wasn't information he should be privy to and he should have just reminded Magnus the gods knew what they were doing. The idea lingered less and less the more of this he heard. 

If Dionysus was gone, that was the best news I'd had all day. He was only our camp director because Zeus had sent him here as a punishment for chasing some off-limits wood nymph. He hated the campers and tried to make our lives miserable. With him away, this summer might actually be cool. On the other hand, if Dionysus had gotten off his butt and actually started helping the gods recruit against the Titan threat, things must be looking pretty bad.

"It's good to hear you think of both sides, that's a great skill Percy," Jason sounded pleased, but also just as exhausted as Percy felt about the duality of this situation.

Off to my left, there was a loud BUMP. Six wooden crates the size of picnic tables were stacked nearby, and they were rattling. Mrs. O'Leary cocked her head and bounded toward them.

"Whoa, girl!" Quintus said. "Those aren't for you." He distracted her with the bronze shield Frisbee.

"I really hope those aren't for me either," Percy said like he really hoped somebody would toss the book like a frisbee and he could run around without a care in the world, for once.

The crates thumped and shook. There were words printed on the sides, but with my dyslexia they took me a few minutes to decipher:

TRIPLE G RANCH

"What do the G's stand for?" Magnus asked wearily, already knowing the results could range anywhere from gross to gore.

He got silence.

"Guys, what do the G's stand for?" Magnus repeated a tad more urgently.

"Enjoy your ignorance while it lasts," was all Nico would finally answer.

FRAGILE

THIS END UP

Along the bottom, in smaller letters: OPEN WITH CARE. TRIPLE G RANCH IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR PROPERTY DAMAGE, MAIMING, OR EXCRUCIATINGLY PAINFUL DEATHS.

Magnus slumped into his seat and groaned as if that maiming was happening to him just hearing about it. "I hate this guy," he already decided, "I don't care if there are bunnies in that box, nothing bought from a ranch that big is going to be good!"

"I'm sort of hoping it's chickens," Alex grinned, "I want to see someone get the great idea about Jurassic Park gone wrong."

"Well I know who I'm never going to vote to be the next sword instructor," Percy frowned at the horror Alex would wrought with one second of power.

"Don't be ridiculous Percy, I don't use a sword," he scoffed.

"What's in the boxes?" I asked.

"A little surprise," Quintus said. "Training activity for tomorrow night. You'll love it."

"I don't believe him," Thalia mock whispered.

"We don't have to be best friends to agree with that," Percy groaned.

"Uh, okay," I said, though I wasn't sure about the "excruciatingly painful death" part.

"Is there a way to be okay with that part?" Nico snorted. He could cause it with ease and he wasn't actively 'okay' with it either.

"Healthy coping mechanisms?" Will didn't sound so sure though.

Quintus threw the bronze shield, and Mrs. O'Leary lumbered after it.

"You young ones need more challenges. They didn't have camps like this when I was a boy."

Alex curled his lips around his teeth and imitated a wizened old man voice, "back in my day!" He even mock waved a cane around for a second.

"Yeah," Percy snickered along, "I bet he had to write on stone tablets and walk five miles up hill both ways to go to school in the snow."

"You—you're a half-blood?" I didn't mean to sound surprised, but I'd never seen an old demigod before.

"I think that's more sad than anything," Thalia frowned, even as she tried to imagine it herself. Luke was one of the rare few who didn't get immortality as a teenager and almost got to twenty.

Quintus chuckled. "Some of us do survive into adulthood, you know. Not all of us are the subject of terrible prophecies."

"No, I didn't know that," Percy said grumpily. It certainly exploded his brain for a second before he caught up with the rest of what Quintus had said. "Wait, does everybody know about my prophecy?"

"It's the worst kept secret at camp," Will agreed, "right up there with who smuggles in the good stuff and who's dating who."

"Great," Percy groaned.

"You know about my prophecy?"

"I've heard a few things."

I wanted to ask what few things, but just then Chiron clip-clopped into the arena. "Percy, there you are!"

He must've just come from teaching archery. He had a quiver and bow slung over his #1 CENTAUR T-shirt. He'd trimmed his curly brown hair and beard for the summer, and his lower half, which was a white stallion, was flecked with mud and grass.

"Look at you playing detective over here," Jason grinned.

"He does have good powers of perception," Thalia agreed with an eye roll, she'd still like it if those would stop being used on trivial details like Chiron's activities and more on getting a clue in social situations.

"I see you've met our new instructor." Chiron's tone was light, but there was an uneasy look in his eyes.

"Because of Quintus?" Magnus asked wearily, "or because of what he needs you for?"

"When I find out I'll let you know," Percy squirmed in his seat just as uneasily for whatever the answer was. He hadn't even gotten to hack up a dummy, Mrs. O'Leary had slobbered on all the good ones.

"Quintus, do you mind if I borrow Percy?"

"Not at all, Master Chiron."

"No need to call me 'Master'," Chiron said, though he sounded sort of pleased.

Will looked a little chagrined he'd never thought to call him that, meanwhile Percy raised an unimpressed brow at anyone saying that.

"Come, Percy. We have much to discuss."

I took one more glance at Mrs. O'Leary, who was now chewing off the target dummy's legs.

"Hopefully not foreshadowing," Jason twitched and hoped that hellhound was as well trained as the swordsman.

"If it is, a shadow traveling monster would be the culprit," Percy agreed, but the words sounded all wrong on his tongue. Yet his unease for this introduction somehow all still lingered.

He didn't notice, as usual, Nico wincing at Percy calling his powers weird.

"Well, see you," I told Quintus.

As we were walking away, I whispered to Chiron, "Quintus seemed kind of—"

"Mysterious?" Chiron suggested. "Hard to read?"

"Yeah."

Chiron nodded. "A very qualified half-blood. Excellent swordsman, I just wish I understood..."

"You could feed Chiron this book and he'd spit out less horse shit," Alex scowled.

"At least he seems better than Tantalus," but Magnus knew that bar was pathetically low, and Quintus would probably still trip on it.

Whatever he was going to say, he apparently changed his mind.

"First things first, Percy. Annabeth told me you met some empousai."

"Yeah." I told him about the fight at Goode, and how Kelli had exploded into flames.

"Mm," Chiron said. "The more powerful ones can do that. She did not die, Percy. She simply escaped. It is not good that the she-demons are stirring."

"We were all well aware it's not good anything's stirring," Jason said from all the way back to that talk with Artemis.

"And we still haven't gotten any other kind of recipe," Percy agreed.

"What were they doing there?" I asked. "Waiting for me?"

"Possibly," Chiron frowned. "It is amazing you survived. Their powers of deception...almost any male hero would've fallen under their spell and been devoured."

"Almost any male hero," Alex looked extremely interested to test those limits.

"I didn't stop to ask about attracting the rainbow of it all, sorry Alex," Percy rolled his eyes.

"I would've been," I admitted. "Except for Rachel."

Chiron nodded. "Ironic to be saved by a mortal, yet we owe her a debt.

Thalia bit her lip against smiling. It turned into a pretty mutually beneficial relationship in the end.

What the empousa said about an attack on camp—we must speak of this further. But for now, come, we should get to the woods. Grover will want you there."

"Where?"

"At his formal hearing," Chiron said grimly. "The Council of Cloven Elders is meeting now to decide his fate."

Percy made such a loud groaning noise, the others checked the floor for any new cracks. "I've been back for hours and he's about to die, again! Can my best friend just go one time without almost dying!"

"Maybe they're voting on his fate over something less dramatic than his life," Magnus offered without much hope. "Like his coffee intake."

Percy didn't think he was right, but he gave him a nod of thanks all the same.

Chiron said we needed to hurry, so I let him give me a ride on his back.

"You let him!" Magnus went cross-eyed in wonder. "You just casually rode on the back of a centaur!" He couldn't even answer himself why this was so fascinating when he'd now known Chiron existed for days.

"It wasn't something I was comfortable with," Percy promised. He'd never even gotten a piggy back ride from anyone before, not counting the monster boar, and as far as he knew, nobody at Camp casually rode around on Chiron, so it wasn't something he'd ever wanted to do and stand out more.

As we galloped past the cabins, I glanced at the dining hall—an open-air Greek pavilion on a hill overlooking the sea. It was the first time I'd seen the place since last summer, and it brought back bad memories.

Nico cringed into his seat and gripped his sword.

Alex made a little huff noise and kept reading, just like that.

Percy did look at him this time though, and the expression was mingled pity with still plenty of weary concern. It wasn't the bright, shining acceptance he hated himself for wanting, but it wasn't murdery, 'can't take my eyes off your untrustworthy Underworld coat,' either, so Nico forced himself not to say anything too.

Chiron plunged into the woods. Nymphs peeked out of the trees to watch us pass. Large shapes rustled in the shadows—monsters that were stocked in here as a challenge to the campers.

"You really should just call it the Forbidden Forest, make it the epitome of obvious they want you guys to all vanish in the night," Magnus shook his head.

Percy looked interested in the idea while Will opened his mouth in a silent scream of even more kids going in there!

I thought I knew the forest pretty well after playing capture the flag here for two summers, but Chiron took me a way I didn't recognize, through a tunnel of old willow trees, past a little waterfall, and into a glade blanketed with wildflowers.

"Percy, you haven't seen the half of that place," Thalia promised.

"The correct answer to that is, adventure time," Alex informed him.

Percy had to quickly wipe the smile off his face as his first thought had been, Exploring with Annabeth Time. The place would have made a fun picnic spot.

A bunch of satyrs were sitting in a circle in the grass. Grover stood in the middle, facing three really old, really fat satyrs who sat on topiary thrones shaped out of rose bushes. I'd never seen the three old satyrs before, but I guessed they must be the Council of Cloven Elders.

Alex sounded very much like he was getting trampled by a goat. Percy knew he wouldn't have sounded much better, he didn't take well to authority, and now Grover was obviously in trouble for something he didn't do. Grover had an alibi, him!

Grover seemed to be telling them a story. He twisted the bottom of his Tshirt, shifting nervously on his goat hooves. He hadn't changed much since last winter, maybe because satyrs age half as fast as humans. His acne had flared up. His horns had gotten a little bigger so they just stuck out over his curly hair. I realized with a start that I was taller than he was now.

"Poor guy," Nico looked almost concerned, "he's already got enough troubles without taking years for a growth spurt."

"The horns were kind of cool, but yeah, would not want to be a satyr just for that," Percy nodded. 

It was a casual, silly little thing to agree on, but Nico still smiled in surprise there was a first that didn't make everything feel so tragically doomed. He'd already known they both liked Grover though, so he was probably being weird again.

Standing off to one side of the circle were Annabeth, another girl I'd never seen before, and Clarisse. Chiron dropped me next to them.

Clarisse's stringy brown hair was tied back with a camouflage bandanna. If possible, she looked even buffer, like she'd been working out. She glared at me and muttered, "Punk," which must've meant she was in a good mood. Usually she says hello by trying to kill me.

"Happy days!" Jason looked cheered at least. Maybe she was in a good enough mood she'd even tell what she'd been up to last winter and only slightly maim Percy by the end.

Annabeth had her arm around the other girl, who looked like she'd been crying. She was small—petite, I guess you'd call it—with wispy hair the color of amber and a pretty, elfish face. She wore a green chiton and laced sandals, and she was dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief. "It's going terribly," she sniffled.

"No, no," Annabeth patted her shoulders. "He'll be fine, Juniper."

Annabeth looked at me and mouthed the words Grover's girlfriend.

"I've tried lip reading a couple times," Magnus looked at Percy in surprise. "I was curious how Hearth does it. It's harder than you'd think. That could have been anything from mowers year-land to going golf-fiend."

"I'll stick with my guess," Percy assured, even if the idea boggled his mind just as much as the other two options.

At least I thought that's what she said, but that didn't make any sense.

"Grover can't have a social life outside of you?" Thalia snorted in surprise. "He's been chasing tree nymphs since before you were born, one was bound to take pity on him." She was personally glad, it made his weird admiration of her and her sisters a lot more tame on at least one more satyr.

Grover with a girlfriend? Then I looked at Juniper more closely, and I realized her ears were slightly pointed. Her eyes, instead of being red from crying, were tinged green, the color of chlorophyll. She was a tree nymph— a dryad.

"Is that better or worse than a half-blood dating him?" Magnus asked curiously. "Is that even a thing?"

"Everything's a thing," Alex said with high confidence and great indifference to the answer as he kept reading before anyone could say otherwise.

"Master Underwood!" the council member on the right shouted, cutting off whatever Grover was trying to say. "Do you seriously expect us to believe this?"

"Yes!" Percy said robustly at once. He had no idea what was going on, but he knew his best friend wasn't a liar. Even when he needed to be.

"B-but Silenus," Grover stammered. "It's the truth!"

The Council guy, Silenus, turned to his colleagues and muttered something. Chiron cantered up to the front and stood next to them. I remembered he was an honorary member of the council, but I'd never thought about it much. The elders didn't look very impressive. They reminded me of the goats in a petting zoo—huge bellies, sleepy expressions, and glazed eyes that couldn't see past the next handful of goat chow. I wasn't sure why Grover seemed so nervous.

"You mouth off to gods," Jason reminded him in exasperation, "I feel like if I tried to explain the concept of an authority figure to you, you'd defenestrate me."

"Yes, yes I would, and I'm not even going to ask what that means," Percy nodded.

Silenus tugged his yellow polo shirt over his belly and adjusted himself on his rosebush throne. "Master Underwood, for six months—six months— we have been hearing these scandalous claims that you heard the wild god Pan speak."

"Why is that, scandalous?" Magnus asked like he was missing the obvious. "Haven't they been looking for this guy since the dawn of time? Why are they not building him a thrown of orchids?"

"Don't know, but I hope that rosebush was stabbing his tail," Percy scowled.

"But I did!"

"Impudence!" said the elder on the left.

"Now, Maron," Chiron said. "Patience."

"Patience, indeed!" Maron said. "I've had it up to my horns with this nonsense. As if the wild god would speak to...to him."

Percy looked ready to storm up there and drown this guy in the saltiest goat feed he could find, but the bizarre mental image of that old goat eating his way out before he could manage flashed through his mind had him hesitating in here same as in that clearing so much Thalia didn't even have to give him a warning.

Juniper looked like she wanted to charge the old satyr and beat him up, but Annabeth and Clarisse held her back. "Wrong fight, girlie," Clarisse muttered. "Wait."

I don't know what surprised me more: Clarisse holding someone back from a fight, or the fact that she and Annabeth, who despised each other, almost seemed like they were working together.

"I always knew they'd make a badass team up," Jason looked in awe their powers combined were already saving a dryad, they could save the quest from the next disaster too.

"I have so many questions," Percy looked five sentences away from drilling his fingers into his skull in hopes something would make sense.

"For six months," Silenus continued, "we have indulged you, Master Underwood. We let you travel. We allowed you to keep your searcher's license. We waited for you to bring proof of your preposterous claim. And what have you found in six months of travel?"

"I just need more time," Grover pleaded.

"Nothing!" the elder in the middle chimed in. "You have found nothing."

"But, Leneus—"

Silenus raised his hand. Chiron leaned in and said something to the satyrs.

The satyrs didn't look happy. They muttered and argued among themselves, but Chiron said something else, and Silenus sighed. He nodded reluctantly.

"Master Underwood," Silenus announced, "we will give you one more chance."

"Is Chiron the voice of reason in every room he's in?" Will looked sort of disappointed he'd had to step in there. It was depressing to think how many satyr's had their dreams shattered before this moment.

Grover brightened. "Thank you!"

"One more week."

"Clearly he wasn't being loud enough!" Percy snapped.

"What? But sir! That's impossible!"

"One more week, Master Underwood. And then, if you cannot prove your claims, it will be time for you to pursue another career. Something to suit your dramatic talents. Puppet theater, perhaps. Or tap dancing."

"I bet Grover would be great at both of those and still find Pan," Alex sniffed. "Can this Silenus say the same?" His tone very much doubted Silenus could get his hind off that throne.

"But sir, I—I can't lose my searcher's license. My whole life—"

"This meeting of the council is adjourned," Silenus said. "And now let us enjoy our noonday meal!"

Percy's lip was curling disturbingly, he looked about ready to find out what would happen if he fed a Council of Cloven Elders to Peleus.

The old satyr clapped his hands, and a bunch of nymphs melted out of the trees with platters of vegetables, fruits, tin cans, and other goat delicacies.

The circle of satyrs broke and charged the food. Grover walked dejectedly toward us. His faded blue T-shirt had a picture of a satyr on it. It read GOT HOOVES?

"Don't get me started on milk propaganda, I will make somebody regret it," Alex huffed.

Magnus, as usual with everything that came out of Alex's mouth, was fascinated and wished he could ask what the hell that meant, but Percy looked like Thalia was holding onto his patience by an actual thread if someone didn't start answering some questions around here, so he filed that away for later.

"Hi, Percy," he said, so depressed he didn't even offer to shake my hand.

"No goat-bear- best friend hug?" Jason looked as dejected as Grover had been. This satyr, not fawn, had been fascinating to hear about from the start. The idea of finally meeting him and Grover being, just, a pest like the rest of those goats seemed gave him double vision.

"That went well, huh?"

"Those old goats!" Juniper said. "Oh, Grover, they don't know how hard you've tried!"

"There is another option," Clarisse said darkly.

"No. No." Juniper shook her head. "Grover, I won't let you."

Percy threw his hands up in frustration, he probably caused a wave to crash a few buildings above surface, and then just didn't have the restraint anymore and began pacing around behind Thalia and Jason. This was so frustrating constantly wondering what the hell was going on with his friends.

His face was ashen. "I—I'll have to think about it. But we don't even know where to look."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

In the distance, a conch horn sounded.

Percy hoped he never met who blew the conch horn or it would be lost at the bottom of the ocean.

Annabeth pursed her lips. "I'll fill you in later, Percy. We'd better get back to our cabins. Inspection is starting."

"If she tells me one more time she'll explain later, I will steal her architecture books," Percy assured.

"How did you two not kill each other," Thalia said in awe, watching him over her shoulder with interest.

"I have no idea, but at least I explain what's going on!"

"Sometimes too much," Nico muttered, he could do without the other constant, his loving adoration of her.

It didn't seem fair that I'd have to do cabin inspection when I just got to camp, but that's the way it worked. Every afternoon, one of the senior counselors came around with a papyrus scroll checklist. Best cabin got first shower hour, which meant hot water guaranteed. Worst cabin got kitchen patrol after dinner.

"What I want to know is how much bribery factors into this?" Alex grinned.

"That's the first thought out of your mouth?" Will tried so hard to look disappointed in him. "You hear of an honor ranking system that keeps all of us accountable to clean up after yourself, and your first thought is-"

"Oh stop Will," Nico rolled his eyes, "Connor learned how to hide stuff in the rafters from you, he told me."

"That wasn't trash, I needed that stuff later, for um, testing," he was fighting a losing battle not to laugh by the end.

Nico's eyes gleamed with a light that made his breath catch when Nico said, "and I will be entirely innocent when I make my trash vanish into the shadows, so we're all innocent aren't we?"

"Yes, ahem, that's the take away here," Will dragged his eyes back to Alex and decided that was enough sharing and joking for now or he'd cave and admit to offering Silena more than one signed addition of Chewbacca, mint condition in the box. For some reason she never accepted them as she went about the cabin, so technically he'd never bribed anyone.

The problem for me: I was usually the only one in the Poseidon cabin, and I'm not exactly what you would call neat. The cleaning harpies only came through on the last day of summer, so my cabin was probably just the way I'd left it on winter break: my candy wrappers and chip bags still on my bunk, my armor for capture the flag lying in pieces all around the cabin.

"I should be exempt from chores for that brief time, I was living through severe trauma," Percy clutched at his shirt and finally fell dramatically back into his seat, upside down.

"Your girlfriend was back in a week Jackson, and you had time to clean up before you went back for school," Jason scoffed as he waved him down.

"She's not my-" Percy tried again, but Alex was already ignoring his halfhearted attempt.

I raced toward the commons area, where the twelve cabins—one for each Olympian god—made a U around the central green. The Demeter kids were sweeping out theirs and making fresh flowers grow in their window boxes.

"Now that definitely feels like cheating," Magnus agreed with Percy's put out look.

"Until someone comes rushing in with fresh mulch," Will waved his hand under his nose, though he'd always thought that was a good look on Katie.

Just by snapping their fingers they could make honeysuckle vines bloom over their doorway and daisies cover their roof, which was totally unfair. I don't think they ever got last place in inspection. The guys in the Hermes cabin were scrambling around in a panic, stashing dirty laundry under their beds and accusing each other of taking stuff.

Will couldn't help a nostalgic chuckle about the time his cabin had received second to last place when he'd let Conner hide his clothes under his bed, only to find out later it wasn't all just Conner's. He'd probably gone overboard by washing them before returning them back, but it had felt like the kind, sanitary thing to do even when he'd scowled at all of Katie's stuff mixed in.

They were slobs, but they still had a head start on me.

Over at the Aphrodite cabin, Silena Beauregard was just coming out, checking items off the inspection scroll.

"That can't be fair," Thalia sided with Percy's tragic groan. "Inspection Barbie shouldn't get to review her own."

"Oh trust me, she's more strict on them than anyone, they hate it when she does," Will defended the bias.

I cursed under my breath. Silena was nice, but she was an absolute neat freak, the worst inspector. She liked things to be pretty. I didn't do "pretty." I could almost feel my arms getting heavy from all the dishes I would have to scrub tonight.

"Anything's good training if you've got enough lava?" Jason offered.

"I'll remember that when you ask me to train with you," Percy promised.

The Poseidon cabin was at the end of the row of "male god" cabins on the right side of the green. It was made of gray shell-encrusted sea rock, long and low like a bunker, but it had windows that faced the sea and it always had a good breeze blowing through it.

I dashed inside, wondering if maybe I could do a quick under-the-bed cleaning job like the Hermes guys, and I found my half-brother Tyson sweeping the floor.

Everybody did a double take at that, especially Percy who got the clashing mental image and fell fresh out of his seat.

"Percy!" he bellowed. He dropped his broom and ran at me. If you've never been charged by an enthusiastic Cyclops wearing a flowered apron and rubber cleaning gloves, I'm telling you, it'll wake you up quick.

"And I wasn't even asleep," Percy was rubbing at his heart doing double time. He wasn't even afraid of his brother, but some base instinct of his lizard brain had chosen flight over fight after seeing that, and he hadn't gotten the chance to act.

"Hey, big guy!" I said. "Ow, watch the ribs. The ribs."

I managed to survive his bear hug. He put me down, grinning like crazy, his single calf-brown eye full of excitement. His teeth were as yellow and crooked as ever, and his hair was a rat's nest. He wore ragged XXXL jeans and a tattered flannel shirt under his flowered apron, but he was still a sight for sore eyes. I hadn't seen him in almost a year, since he'd gone under the sea to work at the Cyclopes' forges.

"I'm hoping they didn't instill to many bad habits in him, like military cleanliness," Alex sniffed.

"What's wrong with that?" Jason frowned.

"I'm sure he just like's having a home for a change and is keeping up with it," Magnus said in a much gentler kind of way.

"You are okay?" he asked. "Not eaten by monsters?"

"Not even a little bit." I showed him that I still had both arms and both legs, and Tyson clapped happily.

"Yay!" he said. "Now we can eat peanut butter sandwiches and ride fish ponies! We can fight monsters and see Annabeth and make things go BOOM!"

I hoped he didn't mean all at the same time,

"And here I was hoping the opposite," Alex sighed.

"I kind of thought that was on a banner for the camp somewhere," Magnus admitted.

but I told him absolutely, we'd have a lot of fun this summer. I couldn't help smiling, he was so enthusiastic about everything.

"But first," I said, "we've gotta worry about inspection. We should..."

Then I looked around and realized Tyson had been busy. The floor was swept.

"Yeah Percy, you walked in on him sweeping and in cleaning gear," Jason looked at him like he was out of his mind for not noticing this before the charging cyclops.

"I swear he wouldn't notice if Tyson were in a dress, big guy's a lot to take in at first," Thalia said in some defense of him.

The bunk beds were made. The saltwater fountain in the corner had been freshly scrubbed so the coral gleamed. On the windowsills, Tyson had set out water-filled vases with sea anemones and strange glowing plants from the bottom of the ocean, more beautiful than any flower bouquets the Demeter kids could whip up.

"Tyson, the cabin looks...amazing!"

He beamed. "See the fish ponies? I put them on the ceiling!"

A herd of miniature bronze hippocampi hung on wires from the ceiling, so it looked like they were swimming through the air. I couldn't believe Tyson, with his huge hands, could make things so delicate.

"One of the many great things about him, though his fascination with fish ponies is still my favorite," Alex assured. He personally still could not wait to meet Tyson to show off some of his pottery to someone with some level of skill.

Then I looked over at my bunk, and I saw my old shield hanging on the wall.

"You fixed it!"

The shield had been badly damaged in a manticore attack last winter. But now it was perfect again—not a scratch. All the bronze pictures of my adventures with Tyson and Annabeth in the Sea of Monsters were polished and gleaming.

I looked at Tyson. I didn't know how to thank him.

"And you're surprised?" Thalia chuckled at the wide smile so bright on his face, the first since he'd been back at camp, all just from his brother. "That look on your face was thanks enough I'm sure."

Percy glanced down at his wrist and saw the watch still wasn't there now, but hopefully it was just waiting for him back at his cabin like his brother.

Then somebody behind me said, "Oh, my."

Silena Beauregard was standing in the doorway with her inspection scroll.

"There's a floor in here!" Alex said in what he clearly thought was an approximation of Silena's voice.

"And it's polished," Percy sniffed in honor of Tyson, "and somehow peanut butter scented," he finished with his own perplexed mutter, hoping it was just his little brother eating a sandwich while taking out the trash and not some new cologne.

She stepped into the cabin, did a quick twirl, then raised her eyebrows at me.

"Well, I had my doubts. But you clean up nicely, Percy. I'll remember that."

She winked at me and left the room.

Alex wolf whistled, Percy blushed, and Thalia muttered, "gods am I glad Annabeth isn't here all of a sudden." The girl got quite jealous, and she didn't need Annabeth cursing over nothing.

Tyson and I spent the afternoon catching up and just hanging out, which was nice after a morning of getting attacked by demon cheerleaders.

Jason began ticking off on his fingers, "and having all my friends being annoyingly vague, and running into a mortal who gave me nightmares, and blowing up another school."

"Yeah, it's no wonder Tyson's the easy guy," Percy agreed with an exhausted sigh.

We went down to the forge and helped Beckendorf from the Hephaestus cabin with his metalworking. Tyson showed us how he'd learned to craft magic weapons. He fashioned a flaming double-bladed war axe so fast even Beckendorf was impressed.

"Setting aside how terrifying it is there's a whole forge of cyclops that can do that," Magnus began, "can Poseidon not just create all of that into existence if he needed them?"

"You are way overthinking this," Percy told him in exasperation. "They do have some limits, they can't just snap their fingers and reshape the world."

"Huh, good to know," Magnus said honestly.

While he worked, Tyson told us about his year under the sea. His eye lit up when he described the Cyclopes' forges and the palace of Poseidon,

Percy smiled through his jealousy of just how excited Tyson had been. Maybe one day when he did finally get to visit, Tyson would have so much fun showing him around they wouldn't stop smiling the whole day.

but he also told us how tense things were. The old gods of the sea, who'd ruled during Titan times, were starting to make war on our father. When Tyson had left, battles had been raging all over the Atlantic. Hearing that made me feel anxious, like I should be helping out,

"You cannot actually split yourself into multiple people," Thalia reminded him. "You would be down there and just as guilty you weren't back at camp helping with this big attack coming."

Percy looked wounded because she was entirely correct. Not even covering the fact he wasn't certain why he and his friends were currently trapped in the Titan Oceanus's palace.

but Tyson assured me that Dad wanted us both at camp.

"Lots of bad people above the sea, too," Tyson said. "We can make them go boom."

"Percy's number one talent," Jason nodded seriously, "I see he's spreading out his forces to great effect."

Percy knew he was kidding, and he still rolled his eyes.

After the forges, we spent some time at the canoe lake with Annabeth.

Percy took a deep breath, like he was trying to inhale that memory into him now. Traveling through the Sea of Monsters wasn't exactly a great moment in his life, but the memories were something he'd never want to lose again.

She was really glad to see Tyson, but I could tell she was distracted. She kept looking over at the forest, like she was thinking about Grover's problem with the council.

"Or thinking about revenge on those goats," Alex helpfully added. "I'm thinking we start with the fun house of mirrors and work our way up." Alex had made one to many jokes about some guy eating goats in here to ask what came next.

I couldn't blame her. Grover was nowhere to be seen, and I felt really bad for him. Finding the lost god Pan had been his lifelong goal. His father and his uncle had both disappeared following the same dream.

Last winter, Grover had heard a voice in his head: I await you—a voice he was sure belonged to Pan—but apparently his search had led nowhere. If the council took away his searcher's license now, it would crush him.

"I don't understand why he couldn't look without a license," Thalia scowled, "there's no goat police that's going to keep him in the system!"

Jason looked a little queasy at the idea of her blatant disregard of authority, and yet couldn't deny he'd still help Grover no matter how long his license was expired by.

"What's this 'other way'?" I asked Annabeth. "The thing Clarisse mentioned?"

She picked up a stone and skipped it across the lake.

"She's weirdly good at that too," Percy grinned. "She gets so mad when she can't beat me cause I'll get the water to help mine skip farther every time. I don't care it's cheating, do you know how often I beat her at something?"

He always spoke with this hyper, happy kind of way when he started talking about her, then concluded with a forlorn smile when he looked around the room and realized she wasn't here. The others chuckled for the silly little anecdote all the same even if it was a little sad.

"Something Clarisse scouted out. I helped her a little this spring. But it would be dangerous. Especially for Grover."

"Goat boy scares me," Tyson murmured.

I stared at him. Tyson had faced down fire-breathing bulls and sea monsters and cannibal giants. "Why would you be scared of Grover?"

"Hooves and horns," Tyson muttered nervously. "And goat fur makes my nose itchy."

And that pretty much ended our Grover conversation.

"No, no, no, no, no," Alex looked ready to continue the verbal abuse of that one word until Magnus hesitantly began patting his shoulder and Alex finally articulated, "we politely ask Tyson to go to another room and we explain to Percy what the heck has been going on while not traumatizing the innocent cyclops! Both are possible!"

"I didn't want to exclude him," Percy admitted, "so we started talking about my mom, they wanted an update on her."

"Tyson's appropriate fear of the satanic features of goats and his allergies aside," Jason frowned, "I'm on Alex's side, this has been teased since the last one, I don't know how you could stand it back then."

"Being constantly distracted was a forced help," Percy sighed. Being bunted from one situation to another with his friends often left him the last to know about any of them.

Before dinner, Tyson and I went down to the sword arena. Quintus was glad to have company. He still wouldn't tell me what was in the wooden crates, but he did teach me a few sword moves. The guy was good. He fought the way some people play chess—like he was putting all the moves together and you couldn't see the pattern until he made the last stroke and won with a sword at your throat.

"Who did this guy say his godly parent was?" Jason grinned at such strategic battle strategies.

"He didn't," Percy frowned. He might not even know, but there was something strange in that question Percy felt he knew the answer for.

"Good try," he told me. "But your guard is too low."

He lunged and I blocked.

"Have you always been a swordsman?" I asked.

He parried my overhead cut. "I've been many things."

"I'm still impressed he's lived long enough to grow facial hair," Percy muttered.

Thalia fought hard not to laugh at that, Percy might have an inkling of just how old Quintus is and she didn't want to encourage that line of thought.

He jabbed and I sidestepped. His shoulder strap slipped down, and I saw that mark on his neck—the purple blotch. But it wasn't a random mark. It had a definite shape—a bird with folded wings, like a quail or something.

"You went with quail?" Alex asked with interest. "That's the first bird you think of?"

"Well it didn't look like a penguin," Percy said in exasperation. "I don't know, it was bird shaped."

"What's that on your neck?" I asked, which was probably a rude question, but you can blame my ADHD. I tend to just blurt things out.

"I usually just blame you, no ADHD required," Thalia said.

"Hey, I have layers," Percy grinned, "sometimes I just don't give a shit and ask, sometimes I'm trying to throw people off. It all just ties back to the ADHD."

"Uhhu," Thalia sighed, looking very much like she wanted to smother him. "You keep blaming that you little shit."

Quintus lost his rhythm. I hit his sword hilt and knocked the blade out of his hand.

"Percy's entire personality is a secret weapon confirmed," Jason chuckled.

"Don't encourage him!" Thalia yelped while Percy drowned her out laughing and leaned across her to give Jason a high-five.

Alex watched patiently to see if Thalia was going to break his wrist as he pulled back, and then kept reading in disappointment when she restrained herself.

He rubbed his fingers. Then he shifted his armor to hide the mark. It wasn't a tattoo, I realized. It was an old burn...like he'd been branded.

Will flinched at the insinuation, while Jason rubbed his thumb over his. He'd obsessed over the design of it for hours, but the act of getting it had never given him much pause. It had felt natural, he'd always looked upon it with a sense of pride as he tried to understand the mystery those lines were.

"A reminder." He picked up his sword and forced a smile. "Now, shall we go again?"

He pressed me hard, not giving me time for any more questions.

Percy rubbed at his shoulder where the muscles remembered how much time he'd had off a lot more than his stomach had after all that. Quintus had definitely put him through his paces, but he was also smiling at some of the tricks he'd picked up.

While he and I fought, Tyson played with Mrs. O'Leary, who he called the "little doggie."

Magnus's heart skipped a beat at trying to figure out what he'd call Cerberus all of a sudden, while Alex nodded along to this statement. "She sounds like a very sweet puppy," he agreed.

Dogs, especially tank sized monster-hell hound- dogs, were usually a little to close to wolves for Magnus to really like them. The bigger and messier the strays he saw were, the more he avoided them.

They had a great time wrestling for the bronze shield and playing Get the Greek.

"I really hope Quintus stays forever now, just for his dog," Jason chuckled. "Tyson's probably never had a pet."

"Neither have I, and it was surprisingly easy to stop expecting her to lunge at my back hearing him laugh with her," Percy agreed fondly. He'd gotten over his weariness of her that afternoon, and by the time Tyson had been rubbing her belly so much her tail put a hole in the arena wall, Percy had been guilty of promising her peanut butter treats himself they were so cute together.

By sunset, Quintus hadn't even broken a sweat, which seemed kind of strange;

"I know everything in your body's supposed to start going downhill when you get old," Percy said in concern, "but do old people keep their sweat glands?"

"Yes Percy, old people still sweat. A lot," Will told him in exasperation. He was probably the only person who could have answered that without sounding condescending for the supremely ADHD question.

but Tyson and I were hot and sticky, so we hit the showers and got ready for dinner.

I was feeling good. It was almost like a normal day at camp. Then dinner came, and all the campers lined up by cabin and marched into the dining pavilion. Most of them ignored the sealed fissure in the marble floor at the entrance—a ten-foot-long jagged scar that hadn't been there last summer—

"Just another day in this madhouse," Magnus agreed. "If I didn't know why it was there, I really wouldn't bat an eye the place had almost sunk into the ground or something."

"You should have heard the rumors," Will said fondly. "My favorite was Silena's when she said it was Clarisse standing in one place to long," he snorted, and then quickly backtracked, "um, don't tell her I said that."

"Tell who what?" Percy mock cleaned out his ear, though there really was a strange buzzing there for a moment.

but I was careful to step over it.

"Big crack," Tyson said when we were at our table. "Earthquake, maybe?"

"No," I said. "Not an earthquake."

I wasn't sure I should tell him. It was a secret only Annabeth and Grover and I knew. But looking in Tyson's big eye, I knew I couldn't hide it from him.

"We already knew you were terrible at keeping secrets," Jason snorted.

"This," Percy waved around the room in exhaustion, "isn't my fault. I just can't think of a reason to care against sharing my life with strangers."

Jason smiled in exasperation Percy only proved his point.

"Nico di Angelo," I said, lowering my voice. "He's this half-blood kid we brought to camp last winter. He, uh...he asked me to guard his sister on a quest, and I failed. She died. Now he blames me."

Nico, of all people, snorted with laughter, causing Percy to chuckle in relief.

"You did use my summary," Nico looked oddly pleased.

"Wasn't going to leave you out Nico, then Tyson wouldn't get the chance to hug you when he meets you," Percy grinned.

Nico looked horrified at the idea of a cyclops being sicked on him in that way, but more than that, it was so calming to hear Percy just joking with him like he was anyone else. He'd been expecting the pressure of wishing it was more to be smothering him by now, but instead the opposite seemed to keep happening. The more they talked, the less intense it felt.

Tyson frowned. "So he put a crack in the floor?"

"It was a very reasonable response to be honest," Will said fairly.

"It was an awesome crack I want to see in person," Alex reminded.

"With flames, I remember," Nico nodded.

"These skeletons attacked us," I said. "Nico told them to go away, and the ground just opened up and swallowed them. Nico..." I looked around to make sure no one was listening. "Nico is a son of Hades."

Tyson nodded thoughtfully. "The god of dead people."

"Yeah."

"So the Nico boy is gone now?"

"I—I guess. I tried to search for him this spring. So did Annabeth. But we didn't have any luck.

Nico felt the burning eyes on him, everybody in this room wanting to know in detail what had happened to him in the intervening time. He fiddled with his ring and gave none of them an answer. His time in the Labyrinth would send any of them running and screaming.

Alex dragged his eyes away first, not for the obvious reason the book might tell, but because Nico had had more than enough of his life exposed lately.

This is secret, Tyson. Okay? If anyone found out he was a son of Hades, he would be in danger. You can't even tell Chiron."

Will dragged his eyes away next, and put on the corniest smile he could. "Hey, has anyone ever wondered why Chiron always gives a speech at dinner? It's because he loves being the sent-aur of attention."

Percy and Thalia groaned in unison while Jason looked at him as if in physical pain.

Magnus looked at him blandly and said, "if Chiron ever sends you on the next world ending quest, I'm not going to ask why."

Nico was smothering a laugh though. He wasn't doing a very good job of it, and that was all Will wanted to hear anyways.

"The bad prophecy," Tyson said. "Titans might use him if they knew."

I stared at him. Sometimes it was easy to forget that as big and childlike as he was, Tyson was pretty smart.

"I'm not questioning his intelligence," Alex promised, "but was this a secret? Was Tyson really showing some special smarts there by agreeing this is a good secret to keep from all not pertinent?"

"Like I said, I kind of forgot how much Tyson paid attention, more than I gave him credit for," Percy frowned. He wanted his little brother to hear about Nico and ask if the guy was going to be okay and if he could make things go boom on command, not realize he was a potential pawn for an evil Titan and all the horrible ways he could be manipulated. He hadn't had a lot of innocence growing up with all the strange things in his life, not to mention Gabe. He'd just deluded himself for a second Tyson had some.

He knew that the next child of the Big Three gods—Zeus, Poseidon, or Hades—who turned sixteen was prophesied to either save or destroy Mount Olympus. Most people assumed that meant me, but if I died before I turned sixteen, the prophecy could just as easily apply to Nico.

"Exactly," I said. "So—"

"Mouth sealed," Tyson promised. "Like the crack in the ground."

"Hopefully not as permanently, with fire and skeletons stuck in his mouth," Thalia offered.

"I don't want to know what that dentist visit would be like," Percy grinned.

I had trouble falling asleep that night. I lay in bed listening to the waves on the beach, and the owls and monsters in the woods. I was afraid once I drifted off I'd have nightmares.

"A valid fear," Magnus promised. He'd never had dreams even before this place, and he was really worried once he got back he would because of his realization he wasn't mortal.

See, for half-bloods, dreams are hardly ever just dreams. We get messages.

We glimpse things that are happening to our friends or enemies. Sometimes we even glimpse the past or the future. And at camp, my dreams were always more frequent and vivid.

"Gods, I would be pissed," Alex scowled for Percy. His recurring dream of Loki visiting him was awful enough, but at least when he recognized that dripping cavern he could brace himself for what was coming and more tricks of his mother. The unknown of anything disturbing his sleep sounded somehow like a worse punishment than having to listen to a manipulative birth canal.

So I was still awake around midnight, staring at the bunk bed mattress above me, when I realized there was a strange light in the room. The saltwater fountain was glowing.

They'd almost forgotten the chapter title should make an appearance about prank calls, with so much other stuff going on in this one. Now everyone looked on, as confused as Percy for what was about to happen.

I threw off the covers and walked cautiously toward it. Steam rose from the hot salt water. Rainbow colors shimmered through it, though there was no light in the room except for the moon outside. Then a pleasant female voice spoke from the steam: Please deposit one drachma.

"Can the goddess herself send you a prank call?" Jason asked. It wouldn't be the weirdest thing he'd heard of these Greek gods doing, and he knew for a fact not all receiving- iris messages were like this thanks to Sally. She'd never had a drachma on her before to accept a call from Percy, so something strangely specific must be going on here.

"Why am I the one who's going to find out?" Percy sighed in answer.

I looked over at Tyson, but he was still snoring. He sleeps about as heavily as a tranquilized elephant.

"Hopefully his snoring doesn't intercept the signal or something," Magnus muttered.

I didn't know what to think. I'd never gotten a collect Iris-message before.

"At least it didn't start with the message from a state prison," Thalia tried to say with chipper, but she really didn't like she wasn't sure what was going on so early in this one for it to come across right.

"Then we'd know it was from you and I could just hang up," Percy smirked.

"No prison could hold me!" She yelped.

"You were held in a stockade for quite a number of years," Percy's grin widened. The tree wasn't the perfect example of that, but the image flashed to mind of Thalia trapped in that trunk with just her face and hands sticking out now as he fought off a laugh.

"I'm going to put you in a headlock for the rest of your life," she promised.

As fun as that would be to see, Alex was worried it might put a dampening on the rest of their time here if Thalia murdered him. She'd probably regret it eventually or something and be all sad while finishing these.

One golden drachma gleamed at the bottom of the fountain. I scooped it up and tossed it through the mist. The coin vanished.

"O, Iris, Goddess of the rainbow," I whispered. "Show me...Uh, whatever you need to show me."

The mist shimmered. I saw the dark shore of a river. Wisps of fog drifted across black water. The beach was strewn with jagged volcanic rock. A young boy squatted at the riverbank, tending a campfire. The flames burned an unnatural blue color. Then I saw the boy's face. It was Nico di Angelo.

Nico's face scrunched up with pure distaste like somebody had just tried to feed him cat food. He'd known this was a thing, but the reminder that he'd been withering away desperate for a sign from his sister all this time, and she'd chosen to send a message to Percy to spy on him, still left a burn in his mouth he wasn't sure would ever fully heal.

He was throwing pieces of paper into the fire—Mythomagic trading cards, part of the game he'd been obsessed with last winter.

Nico was only ten, or maybe eleven by now, but he looked older. His hair had grown longer. It was shaggy and almost touched his shoulders. His eyes were dark. His olive skin had turned paler. He wore ripped black jeans and a battered aviator's jacket that was several sizes too big, unzipped over a black shirt. His face was grimy, his eyes a little wild. He looked like a kid who'd been living on the streets.

"Dude, that sounds like such a waste, you could have at least sold them," Percy said out of the blue.

Magnus sort of wanted to smack Percy upside the head like Nico obviously wanted to do for that being his comment to all that. They all knew why he did it, a little levity to help ease the uneasy realization of the situation Nico was now in like they all constantly did to Percy, but Thalia didn't have to tug sharply on Percy's ear and hiss at him to shut it before he realized himself the kid hadn't thought that was funny as he shut his mouth back.

I waited for him to look at me. No doubt he'd get crazy angry, start accusing me of letting his sister die. But he didn't seem to notice me.

I stayed quiet, not daring to move. If he hadn't sent this Iris-message, who had?

"You can send an iris message for someone?" Magnus went a little cross-eyed again as he tried to imagine how that worked. "Do you ask the goddess to hook you up like those old phones that had, um, what were they called? Like talking-group messaging?"

"I think I know what you mean," Percy had seen it on a few movies, but he had no more clue. "If so, nobody told me!"

"It's called a conference call, and it's still a thing people do," Thalia said in exasperation. She could excuse their ignorance pretty easily though, neither of them clearly had much time around a phone. The only reason she knew about them was because Beryl had near constantly been on one for work.

Nico kept to himself it actually seemed something Bianca alone had been able to do. He wasn't sure if she was somehow manipulating the Mist, Hades had pulled in a favor through Iris, or what specifically had been going on here. It's not like she'd ever stuck around to explain any of this to him.

Nico tossed another trading card into the blue flames. "Useless," he muttered. "I can't believe I ever liked this stuff."

Nico felt the questioning eyes on him like he'd slipped into Italian without warning. He shrugged indifferently and really didn't feel like explaining himself, he felt like that was an explanation.

Will couldn't blame him, in fact last night made all the more sense now, if he'd hesitated over playing for a multitude of reasons instead of just the one he'd guessed. His sister had died trying to get him a figurine from this game, he was trying to draw distance from his past. There were probably a number of other reasons he wasn't qualified to guess at all mixed in there.

"A childish game, master," another voice agreed. It seemed to come from near the fire, but I couldn't see who was talking.

"Did you pick yourself up a yes man?" Alex asked, and he sounded actually concerned more than mocking.

Nico's face twisted as bad as his stomach did. "Something like that," he felt obligated to answer more because he had a lot of respect for Alex after last night than he really thought this would get him through this faster. Why hadn't he dug his way out with a spoon yet? Gotten on his knees and begged his dad to come pick him up from the sleepover set in hell? He was desperate enough to try after yesterday, sitting through a whole day of this was going to make him start neighing at these guys before he'd want to answer any more questions.

Nico stared across the river. On the far shore was black beach shrouded in haze. I recognized it: the Underworld. Nico was camping at the edge of the river Styx.

"You left the camp with the lava climbing mountain and decided to rough it camping at the edge of the death river," Jason told him. "Did you think you needed more of a challenge, or were you just looking to get away for your health?" It was phrased more as a cheerful joke or a conversational starter depending on how Nico wanted to answer.

Will watched with growing agitation at how much Nico was struggling to figure out how to respond to all this before he said briskly, "no more questions for him, it's not helping anybody." Phrasing it in the vein of not antagonizing Percy's memories was always an easy cover.

"Yeah, what he said," Nico managed that without having a panic attack at least.

"I've failed," he muttered. "There's no way to get her back."

The other voice kept silent.

Nico turned toward it doubtfully. "Is there? Speak."

Something shimmered. I thought it was just firelight. Then I realized it was the form of a man—a wisp of blue smoke, a shadow. If you looked at him head-on, he wasn't there. But if you looked out of the corner of your eye, you could make out his shape. A ghost.

Jason, Alex, and Magnus all looked like they had a lot of questions about that in fact, but Will's arm over the back of the couch had gone from casual to shielding behind Nico's back and they didn't want to pressure the guy to spill anyways. Percy was already at his wits end being the center of attention, Nico obviously didn't want to share the spotlight.

"It has never been done," the ghost said. "But there may be a way."

"Tell me," Nico commanded. His eyes shined with a fierce light.

"An exchange," the ghost said. "A soul for a soul."

"I've offered!"

"We all did," Percy agreed. Any of them would have taken Bianca's place in that junk yard, but his instinct still kicked madly in protest at this kid wishing for the same.

Nico couldn't look at him. He'd already let the worst thing possible come out of his mouth, but he felt like it could still get worse if he let himself so much as nod at Percy.

"Not yours," the ghost said. "You cannot offer your father a soul he will eventually collect anyway. Nor will he be anxious for the death of his son. I mean a soul that should have died already. Someone who has cheated death."

Thalia shifted uncomfortably in place for what that could have meant. There weren't a lot of possibilities that didn't relate back to immortal beings, though she knew in this specific case Daedalus fit the bill, he never would have come to mind before her fellow Hunters. They seemed the obvious choice for his revenge to her.

Nico's face darkened. "Not that again. You're talking about murder."

"Can I give an A+ for that response?" Alex said in the tone he wasn't taking no for an answer. "You've still got a great moral compass Nico."

"Thanks," he managed a real smile at him. Like every other half-blood, he'd never gotten anywhere close to a grade that good before, and nobody had ever even said he had morals before. Like being the child of the Underworld meant he went around not-so-secretly coming up with elaborate deaths.

"I'm talking about justice," the ghost said. "Vengeance."

"Those are not the same thing," Jason scowled.

"Those are not the same thing."

Percy laughed boisterously while Nico and Jason grinned faintly in surprise at each other.

The ghost laughed dryly. "You will learn differently as you get older."

"He could be a few thousand years old and his morals don't have to change," Will scoffed.

"Wow, your formative years are that important huh?" Magnus chuckled.

"Let's not get into the whole nature versus nurture thing," Thalia sighed, "we'll be here all day. I think we would all personally stab this ghost through the eye for trying to corrupt young Nico, can we just agree on that?"

"Maybe if you'd stop calling me young every five minutes," Nico didn't help his situation by looking a little pouty. Alex cleared his throat in agreement anyways to keep going so he didn't have to admit Nico did look a lot younger and more innocent when he made that face.

Nico stared at the flames. "Why can't I at least summon her? I want to talk to her. She would...she would help me."

Magnus felt something very tight in him pull taught like a choke hold. Was that possible? The ghost had said it wasn't, but if Nico could bring people back from the dead...Was Bianca out there now still palling around with the Hunters? Would he feel like he had his mom back if she was a zombie?

"I will help you," the ghost promised. "Have I not saved you many times? Did I not lead you through the maze and teach you to use your powers? Do you want revenge for your sister or not?"

"I don't like this ghost," Will's tone was sharp as a blade. "He has no right to brag about saving your life and then make it feel like your fault if you don't get Bianca back. Revenge," he repeated in a truly dangerous snap.

"Mmmm, he was very manipulative," Nico murmured just for him. He'd been a fool for trusting him, but Minos had been a powerful ghost, and Nico had been grateful to him. His first ever friend who had helped him, with seemingly wanting nothing in return. So far the only other person who fit that was Will, and he was still waiting for that shoe to drop.

I didn't like the ghost's tone of voice. He reminded me of a kid at my old school, a bully who used to convince other kids to do stupid things like steal lab equipment and vandalize the teachers' cars. The bully never got in trouble himself, but he got tons of other kids suspended.

"Ah geez, not another Luke," Percy scowled with his own near instant dislike of this ghost. He preferred the bull-like brain dead ones like Clarisse, punching first and asking questions never. Those he could almost understand when he went toe to toe with, he had anger issues too. These sorts, the ones that never got their hands dirty and were the last to be caught usually made him want to start a few fires just to get someone caught red handed.

Nico turned from the fire so the ghost couldn't see him, but I could. A tear traced its way down his face. "Very well. You have a plan?"

Nico's shoulders hunched. He ran a hand painfully through his hair, so sharp he expected his ring or nails to scratch through his scalp. Maybe he'd start bleeding and use it as a way to escape the looks of pity he refused to look at. Wild plans of how to get out of this cursed room were still offering themselves up like a flame he was forced to snuff out. His worst secret hadn't given him a free exit, his miserable pain for it hadn't attracted their jailer into thinking he'd suffered enough. What the hell was it going to take?

The moment of silence passed, and Nico had no new answers. He tried to comfort himself maybe the worst had come to fruition, having to hear Bianca's death in detail and Percy knowing the worst of him.

He didn't believe himself.

"Oh, yes," the ghost said, sounding quite pleased. "We have many dark roads to travel. We must start—"

The image shimmered. Nico vanished. The woman's voice from the mist said, Please deposit one drachma for another five minutes.

"What a tease," Alex frowned. "It's a good promo though, showing just enough of the goods I'd want to see the rest."

"So glad the trailer of my life would make a hit," Nico grumbled.

There were no other coins in the fountain. I grabbed for my pockets, but I was wearing pajamas. I lunged for the nightstand to check for spare change, but the Iris-message had already blinked out, and the room went dark again.

The connection was broken.

"Could you have used a quarter?" Magnus was pretty sure Will wouldn't scowl at him like that if the question didn't pertain directly to Nico. "Do people throw pennies at her and get a few seconds more time?"

"No, but I'm pretty sure that's where that mortal idea came from," Thalia grinned.

I stood in the middle of the cabin, listening to the gurgle of the saltwater fountain and the ocean waves outside.

Nico was alive. He was trying to bring his sister back from the dead. And I had a feeling I knew what soul he wanted to exchange—someone who had cheated death. Vengeance.

Nico di Angelo would come looking for me.

"So self-important," Will sniffed, "you think everybody wants you Percy?"

"I've made crazier leaps," Percy gestured at the past books. "If I wasn't sitting here now with the guy obviously not about to kill me, it would still make plenty of sense."

"Now I'm super curious to know who his target is though," Alex didn't look happy about having to give the book up to Percy. "Does Nico take down a god and cause a power imbalance?" He sounded way to hungry about those prospects considering they'd just eaten breakfast.

Nico took a shaky breath and wondered how long he was supposed to sit here and hear them chat about what a little psychopath he was.

"Would you guys cool it! He obviously doesn't want to talk about this!" Will knew he couldn't make them shut up permanently, but he was so frustrated watching Nico clearly loathing every second of this with no way to help.

Percy froze getting out of his seat as he looked awkwardly at them. He didn't exactly know how to avoid it when Nico was tangled up in his life on page.

PJOPJOPJOPJO

Not going to lie, after reading Chalice of the Gods a good dozen times and all the cute percabeth fluff, it was incredibly hard not to put Annabeth into this already. I have a set point where that happens though and I promise you all will love it if you can just hold out for me like I'm making myself do.

[crosshimes-fanwritings]

Ice of Wings: Part 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Zatch Bell, The Duke of Death and His Maid, Urusei Yatsura, and SMG4 Fandoms: Zatch Bell, The Duke of Death and His Maid, Urusei Yatsura, and SMG4 Rating: T Summary: Don't ever come between a girl and her love for chocolate chip mint ice cream. Wario learns the hard way. AKA Suzume and the gang go to the crystal palace after she discovers her favorite ice cream was stolen and finally locate a ice wing. CrossFic Type: Isekai AU, Modern Setting Genre: Adventure, Humor, and Parody A/N: Just a stupid second chapter with possible OOCness, stupidity, and shitty writing.

Walter was reading in his bedroom when Suzume's enormous eyeballs broke through the wall. Walter just stared back at her eyeballs and closed his book. 

"What did I do this time, Suzume?" 

"Did you eat my chocolate chip mint ice cream?" Suzume's voice asked. 

"You know, you could have asked me in person until using this world's flexible ability to stretch your poor eyeballs." 

"Too bad! I'm too lazy! So, answer the damn question, Wal!" Suzume's eyeballs shook. 

"I did not eat your ice cream," Walter frowned. "I don't even know you like chocolate chip mint." 

"Well, it's freaking gone! I brought four gallons of my favorite ice cream flavor last night!" Suzume kept staring into Walter's eyes suspiciously. "Well, if you didn't eat my ice cream, who else did?" 

"Can you just talk to me in person?! Your eyeballs are creeping me out!" 

"Hey, Suzu! I know who stole your ice cream!" Ataru exclaimed. "It was Wario!"

"Who the hell is Wario?! Doesn't matter! Where's this Wario's hideout?!" Suzume whined.

"Oooh, just rather well go to the hideout! There's also a ice wing there!" SMG2 reported, looking at a computer screen. "The hideout is located in the Crystal Palace, Shiver City. There's also another stolen ice cream there!"

"THOSE BASTARDS!" Suzume dashed out of Princess Peach's castle.

"A ice wing in a frozen hideout, full of ice cream. How convenient." Walter was just so done with Suzume's obsession with the damn chocolate chip mint ice cream. "That girl shouldn't even be eating four gallons of ice cream anyway."

"But, you still like her." Ataru grinned.

"What are you talking about?"

"No time!" SMG1 called out. "You have to meet up with your friend! There's danger waiting for her in the crystal palace."

Minutes later, Ataru and Walter dropped onto the snow from a portal in midair. They spotted Suzume in front of the crystal palace, trying to break in by banging on the crystal door.

"GIMME BACK MY CHOCOLATE MINT ICE CREAM, YOU THIEF!"

And one more person joined the group. A portal appeared, and Viola exited.

"The heck?! They didn't tell me that it'd be this freezing!" Viola rubbed her arms and attempted to keep herself warm.

"V-Viola?!" Walter widened his eyes in shock.

"Walter?!" Viola called back, also in shock.

"Holy crap! How did you get into the SMG4 universe, Viola?!" Ataru gawked at her.

"Well…" Viola gazed at the sky blankly.

In the real world, Viola, Mendo, and Duke, aka Viktor, were looking for Suzume, Walter, and Ataru after realizing her stupid secondborn brother and his friends had been gone for hours.

"I bet Walter and Suzume are just making out somewhere while Ataru is hitting on girls as usual!" Viola complained.

"The heck, Viola?!" Viktor gaped at his little sister. "You don't have to describe Walter's and Suzume's relationship in that matter!"

"Shut it! I can describe the truth how I want!"

"They aren't even dating!" Mendo pulled out his katana. "I swear! If I catch Walter kissing Miss Suzume, he shall pay it with his life!"

"Calm down, Mendo! I'm sure Walter, Suzume, and Ataru are doing fine!" Viktor had gotten in front of Mendo, waving his arms to calm him down. "There's no need to resort to violence!"

"Oooh, what are those pretty colors coming from?" Viola pointed to a rainbow-shining rope attached to a unisex public bathroom.

"Hmph. Maybe a dumb kid forgot his jump rope." Mendo rolled his eyes, annoyed.

"It's shiny, Mendo! I'm going to take it! FOUNDER, KEEPER!" Viola ran towards the bathroom in excitement.

Duke and Mendo saw rainbow lights flashing from the bathroom. They went inside to check on Viola.

"And that's how we got into this world, big brother, Ataru!" Viola grinned, giving them a thumbs up. "Oh, Mendo and Viktor are in the WetDry World."

Meanwhile, in the WetDry World, Duke and Mendo were batting a Chuckya. 

"Calm down! I won't hurt you!" Duke dodged the Chuckya. 

"YOU SHALL SUFFER DEFEAT AT MY KATANA!" Mendo strike his katana at the Chuckya. 

The Chuckya turned around quickly, grabbed Mendo, and threw him off a building. 

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" Mendo fall into the water. 

"MENDOOOOOOU!" Viktor screamed in terror as he was also grabbed by the Chuckya and thrown off, joining Mendo. 

"So, yep! SMG2 sent me here, saying you idiots would need my help in VIOLA STYLE!" Viola spun around in thrill.

"…." Walter stared at his little sister palely. "Do you really have to describe my relationship with Suzume that way?!"

"It's the truth, is it, Walter? I caught you two kissing in your bedroom once~" Viola grinned in amusement.

"THAT'S BECAUSE WE'RE DOING PRACTICE FOR A PLAY THAT INVOLVED KISSING, VIOLA!" Walter's face reddened.

"You lucky bastard!" Ataru grinned teasingly. "You get to make out with the girl you like!"

"Not you too!"

"Geez, you just said your forbidden word, big brother." Viola shrugged and went to help an enraged Suzume, who kept slamming her forehead against the crystal door.

"GAH!" Walter coughed blood, fell onto the snow, and passed out.

"Dude, come on." Ataru sighed.

Sir! A chick is trying to break into our hideout!" A lackey reported to Guy, who was sitting on a crystal throne. "There are also three more losers helping her!"

"NOOOOOO! THEY SHALL NOT STEAL THE ICE CREAM! GET THEM!" Wario ordered.

"You bastard! That's my throne you're sitting on!" A captured Crystal King was tied up and hanging from the ceiling. "You shall pay for defying me!"

"Oh, shut it!" Wario threw ice poop at Crystal King's face, but it didn't have an effect.

"Surprise, bitch! I can absorb ice and snow!" Crystal King suddenly became powerful enough to tear through the rope. He flew straight toward Wario and headbutted him. "GIVE ME BACK MY THRONE AND PALACE, YOU PUNKASS FATASS!"

"NO! I SHALL NEVER!" Wario kicked the Crystal King in the balls.

"AHHHHHHHH!" The Crystal King was rolling on the floor, holding his thing in pain.

"Now, where's my freaking ice cream?!" Suzume had finally broken into the crystal palace and beat the crap out of Wario's troops.

Ataru, Walter, and Viola looked so worn out from the fighting. Suzume still has the energy to move forward to bring back her favorite ice cream flavor.

"So much for ice cream," Walter mumbled.

Suzume turned her head around quickly in the exorcist style and glared at Walter.

"What did you say?!"

"Nothing. And I'm getting creeped out by your exorcist-style flexible neck."

"HMMMMMMM?" Suzume's eyeballs became large and stretched out. "YOU DON'T FIND ME ATTRACTIVE ANYMORE?"

"WHERE DID THAT IDEA COME FROM?!"

"Geez, stop flirting and get a move on, you two!" Viola walked passed her brother and Suzume, heading towards the next door. "Is there anyone inside?" She took a peek and witnessed Bob about to get murdered by N. "…." She closed the door quickly.

"OH, MY OVARIES" Bob's voice screamed.

"Just a strange-looking guy and a white-haired guy with sharp teeth and wings." Viola sighed, having her hands on her hips. Then, she looked annoyed when she saw Walter on the freezing floor, blood coming out from his mouth, and was passed out. "ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME, WALTER?!" Now, it was Viola's turn to stretch out her eyeballs.

"Hey, Viola. Where's Suzume?" Ataru noticed Suzume was gone.

"Oh shit! We need to find her!" Viola gasped.

"SURPRISE BITCHES!" Suzume had finally broken into the throne room. She had startled Wario and his lackeys as they were about to eat her ice cream. "HELL NO!" Suzume took a bell and rang it.

Swagmaster696969696969 and his partner, Chris Gordman, crashed through the wall. They were in their army tank.

"LOL LOL LOL! Suzume summoned me to do her dirty work!" Swagmaster declared proudly.

"No, you idiot!" Chris facepalmed. "We're here as her backup!"

"It's the same thing, Chris, LOL LOL LOL!" Swagmaster turned his "thing" into a cannon. "SUCK MY BALLS!"

"What in the actual bloody fuck?!" Walter widened his eyes in amazement at Swagmaster's new weapon after he and the others arrived at the throne room.

"Walter! There's a ice wing hanging from the ceiling!" Suzume pointed at the said ice wing tied up in a rope. "Go get it! I'll keep these guys busy! Ataru, Viola, help him!"

"NOOOOO! THE ICE WING IS WORTH A LOT OF MONEY!" Wario shouted. "Don't let her get it!"

"YOU GREEDY CHUBBY FUCK!" Suzume countered Wario. "AS IF MY ICE CREAM WASN'T ENOUGH!""

"Chubby fuck?!" Walter reacted to Suzume's unusual colorful language as he found a ladder and used it to reach the ice wing. "She's been playing too much GTA: San Andreas."

"Hurry up, big brother!" Viola was holding onto the ladder while Ataru was getting his ass kicked by Swoopulas, Duplighosts, the Magikoopas, White Cludda, and Crystal King's crystal bits. "Suzume and the others can't last long!"

"I know, damn it!" Walter called out in frustration. "Geez, Suzu owes me a date after this!"

"LOL, LOL, LOL!" Swagmaster69 used his cannon to blow up the enemies while dancing around. "I'M THE KING OF THE PALACE NOW, BITCHES!"

"The hell?! You almost kill me with a cannonball!" Walter exclaimed at Swagmaster69, pissed off.

"You're just jealous because you ain't getting no bitches!" Swagmaster69 countered back with a chuckle.

"Screw you!"

"This is getting boring," Viola was gazing at her smartphone while shaking the ladder with one hand.

"STOP SHAKING THE LADDER, VIOLA!"

"You're done now, fatass!" Crystal King finally confronted Wario alongside Suzume. "Now, hand over my throne, troops, and palace! And the ice cream to this young lady while at it!"

"Oops!" Wario smirked. "I ate the chocolate chip ice cream! It was so delicious! Four gallons, baby!"

Everyone gasped and froze. Walter gaped at Wario in shock. Viola's and Ataru's faces have lost color. Suzume was now furious. How dare Wario eat all of her favorite ice creams?

"YOU'RE GOING DOWN, YOU FAT FUCK!" Suzume took out a couple of fire plants that she had gotten from Mario earlier. She also took out a mega mushroom and ate it. She transformed into a giant.

"….Oops." Wario was now terrified. He could sense the furiousness from Suzume.

And the next thing everyone knew, the crystal palace had blown up into pieces.

Hours later, everyone was back at Princess Peach's castle.

"You found the ice wing!" SMG2 smiled as he took it from Walter and put it inside a freezer. "Good job!"

"Yeah, I owed the Crystal King a rebuild of his palace." Suzume smiled awkwardly.

"And you owe me a date," Walter whispered.

"A date?" Suzume blushed, surprised at Walter's words.

"Never mind what I said!" Walter said, walking out of the room.

"So, the bad guy was Wario?" SMG4 paused his video editing and raised an eyebrow. "I'm not surprised. That guy can be shady sometimes."

"Mario gotta piss," Mario said, attempting to pee in Ataru's iced tea.

'WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!" Ataru grabbed Mario and tossed him out of the room.

"So, how do I get to the WetDry World?" Viola asked Meggy.

"Oh, it's easy. Just jumped through a painting of a water spider on the second floor." Meggy smiled. "I'll go with you."

Meggy and Viola had walked out while SMG4 refocused on his video editing. Ataru dumped the iced tea in a plant, refusing to drink it, and went back to the kitchen to get a refill in a new glass cup. Tari and Suzume followed Ataru, leaving SMG4 alone, and headed towards the lobby.

"So, are you and Walter dating?" Tari asked in curiosity.

"…No, we aren't. We're just friends." Suzume blushed at the question.

"Oh, that's cool! Want to play video games with me?"

"Sure."

"REFER TO SUZUME AS ANIME TITTLES AGAIN, AND I'M GOING TO MURDER YOU!" Walter's voice bellowed from outside.

Suzume and Tari took a peek via a window and saw Walter choking Rob while Rob's eyeballs were oversized and stretched out.

"ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! JUST DON'T KILL ME!" Bob pleaded. "DON'T HURT MY OVARIES!"

"YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE OVARIES, YOU DUMBASS!"

"Well, Walter would be a good protective boyfriend, Suzume." Tari giggled.

"….I guess." Suzume just turned her eyes away from her new blue-haired friend shyl.

[oldguardleatherdog]

"With no commentary."

Now it's time to introduce my online world to the person who stole a post I made to a religion thread, just a 3 AM stoner post I thought was a bit rambling but not bad, lyrical even, and that I really enjoyed writing and thought was a decent bit of writing and utterly non-controversial about anything -

Meet the girl (chick? troll?) who took my harmless post and put it on her blog for ridicule. For laughs. For entertainment. For jollies. For the lulz. For no other reason than to make fun of me, half a world away.

"It's not like I sent a legion of followers to attack him."

The resulting cyberbullying, harassment, death wishes, AIDSphobia, homophobia, telling me I should have died in 9/11, disparaging my age and my AIDS and my life as a sex worker and HIV activist and my Army service and my Pup kink - all beyond the pale, all violating Tumblr hate speech prohibitions, all illegal in every jurisdiction-

"I didn't even abuse the man."

-along with comments so vile even MAGA won't use -

and multiple mob attacks, pile-ons, and brigadings (9.000+ people so far) that got me mass-reported and terminated.

A follower of mine asked, "WTAF?"

This person is a girl in her 20's from Scotland.

Freaking Scotland, halfway across the globe, brain still developing, an embryo on two legs just one-third my age. Along with all her Gen Z (and older) friends and followers.

Meet Carrie (carlie? charlie? clairey? chatty? Cathy?), aka commonpigeon around these parts. (Or, to save keystrokes, commpig.) She's got friends: pavewoment, baradragon (with oak leaf clusters for his secondary brigading), pinene, kanye-anti-west, mascless, and a long list of supporting characters who will be featured here for your edification and entertainment - along with their own writings about how they try so hard to be good people online and in life and love cats and Jesus and can't figure out why they're so depressed and bummed out by the "toxicity" of Tumblr and Twitter.

"Spending his precious few years left cussing out random people."

*lifts withered hand from the blanket warming his ancient HIV-infested bones*

*raises his weakening eyeballs to the safely shielded screen*

*turns up the valve on oxygen tank*

*grabs his HIV meds that keep him alive at his advanced age*

*spry for his age and condition, the 60-year-old AIDS victim knocks back his 29 pills like a pro and chases them down his ulcerated gullet with a Glenlivet neat*

*haltingly pecks at keyboard in search of foreign trolls to annoy and kinky rubberdogs to ease his pathetic and tragic decline*

*continues pecking and doesn't hear the admonitions from puriteens and gaylings urging him to spend his dwindling days at the senior center*

*because he's locked inside his pup hood living his best life*

"He is the one posting on a public website."

This post right now? It's harmless, really. Just for laughs. Just a gag. Lulz. Jollies. Entertainment.

You can be sure Tumblr's legal counsel and others that regard these activities as hate crimes, cyberstalking and online harassment are laughing too. But not at me.

[moonlit-sunflower-books]

writing morally gray characters

[@/moonlit_sunflower_books on ig]

we all love a good morally gray character, from kaz brekker to helene aquila. but there are things that make them stand out and make the reader genuinely root for them, as well as ways to make them more realistic, that can really help when writing a morally gray character.

disclaimer: i’m not a professional, just a student who writes for fun, and anything written here is based on my personal experience and opinion. you should always do your own research as well, and i am open to respectful discourse!

give them boundaries

one of the most important aspects of any morally ambiguous character is that they aren't entirely unhinged. it's unlikely a character will be willing to murder someone they love, or that they would betray someone unless they are getting something in return. any character has their limits. the goal of your plot is to push them beyond that limit, break them, and force them to stitch themselves back together.

give them a moral compass

many people misunderstand "morally gray" and confuse it for "does whatever the hell they like". possibly because one of the first lines in six of crows is "kaz brekker didn't need a reason" and kaz is bookstagram's favourite example of a morally gray protagonist. but actually, everything that kaz does through the novels only proves that he always has reasons. for absolutely everything that he does.

the difference is that it's not for the Greater Good and Evil.

morally gray characters are often selfish, but will have their own idea of what is considered right and what is considered wrong. for example, helene aquila thinks that it is wrong to disobey one's country. that doesn't mean she thinks it's right to murder, it's just what is done. so she doesn't question it.

make them justify their own actions

any morally gray character should be sympathetic, and this is achieved by having them justify their actions.

<six of crows spoilers ahead> if we saw kaz rip out someone's eyeball or drop someone out of a lighthouse window into a harbour without context, we'd probably think of him as completely unhinged /hyp. but the reader justifies his actions in their mind because kaz's narration justifies the action to himself: he is getting vengeance for inej. <six of crows spoilers end>

essentially, the character's narration should justify their own actions. they murdered someone? it was for revenge. they stole something? they've been starving for weeks. they lost their temper? the blow-up is the culmination of decades of internalised anger. make sure that the reader sympathises with your character by justifying their actions.

don't make them dark haired and brooding

okay okay yes i am a simp for dark-haired morally gray white boys but you know what? sometimes it'd be refreshing to see someone else be morally gray!

give me a morally ambiguous black girl or mother figure or indian character. the world has enough kaz brekkers and severin montagnet-alaires and cardan greenbriars (although i will say that i love all three of them from the bottom of my heart)

but helene aquila was a very pleasant change from all of them!

show them being Good

there is a difference between "morally gray character" and "villain whose actions are justified by the fandom" *cough* the darkling *cough* and it's really important to show that a morally gray character can be objectively good - or at least have pure intentions

for example, jude duarte murders people - Bad. but then in the next chapter, she'll go and have a picnic with her sister or try to save a human girl trapped into slavery - Good.

a morally gray character is not a character who gets a redemption arc, but rather a character whose actions blur the line between good and evil. their character development will not necessarily be going from bad to good, but going from unhinged to self-aware or from revenge-driven to loving.

[bellaramseysgf]

Hate me (S.H)

Warning(s); angst without a happy ending,mentions of smut,slight mention of eddie x reader,lowkey asshole Steve,physical fight.

Pairing(s); Steve Harrington x (Afab) Fem! Reader.

Summary; you hate Steve Harrington, because he stole something from you and never gave it back. Your heart.

A/n; I’m in a mood so just enjoy this😅

“Pleaseeeeee” Eddie tugged on your arm and you huffed “Eddie quit it. I’m not going to Nancy wheelers stupid birthday party” he pouted “but I was invited! For once! You have to come as my date.” You shook your head “no, Eddie. Nothing you say or do will make me go to that girls party.” Eddie took that as a challenge. “Really? Nothing?” You nodded flipping through the records.

“What about early access to the new queen record?” You looked at him “that could get you fired….you’re that willing huh?” He nodded “but why me? What about Chrissy I’m sure she’d love to go” Eddie shook his head “see this way we both get what we want, you get to show off for steve and I get to remind Chrissy that if she wants me she needs to say so it’s perfect” you tensed up at the mention of Steve’s name.

“Steves gonna be there?” You asked and Eddie realized his mistake very quickly “no! NO! You can’t bail now! You agreed!” You glared “you know I hate Steve. I’d rather fight monsters again then see fucking Steve Harrington” Eddie hissed “harsh, he’s not that bad” you scoffed “not that bad? Edward munson do we need to go down senior break again?” Eddie’s face sunk in at the mention of his full first name. “You’ll barely see him! And I won’t leave your side and if…if you need to leave we can! Please they’re finally accepting me as a friend I don’t wanna fuck this up!” Eddie looked at you with those big brown puppy eyes and you groaned.

“One condition. I get my pick of your dnd dice.” Eddie narrowed his eyes “but…some of them are sentimental!” You shrugged “fine!” You smiled and he shook your hand.

Eddie owned up and let you pick through his dice, you kept away from the ones you knew he loved. There was a particular one you wanted. It was red and pink and the numbers were painted with black ink. It reminded you of mars so you took it and he was upset but not for long.

You held up to your side too and showed up with Eddie to the skating rink. Eddie wore his usual tight black jeans, swapping his hellfire club shirt for a regular Van Halen T-shirt. You tied his hair back into a bun for him. You however were matching him wearing a black skirt,fish nets underneath and the same Van Halen shirt. You and Eddie went to a lot of concerts together. He let you steal the chain off his jeans to add to your skirt and you had to say you two as a couple didn’t look half bad.

You walked in with Eddie’s arm slung around your waist. It didn’t take long for you to remember just how annoying her birthday parties were with all the pink and pastel colors. They physically hurt your eyeballs. You didn’t hate Nancy at all she was very sweet,kind to you throughout all of high school.

Of course once you see Nancy though you see Steve too, the pair of you lock eyes for a minute and you feel your chest burn tears already pricking your eyes. You turn around in Eddie’s hold “Eddie I don’t think I can do this.” He dipped his head down as if he was trying to block out the world around you. “Yes you can, him and Nancy aren’t even together anymore you have a chance” you shook your head “I don’t want a chance. Every time I look at him I just see it all over again.” Your breath was shaking and Eddie instantly felt guilt for practically forcing you here.

“I just need some air, Eddie I’m really sorry” you separated from him and left back out the front doors. You felt like you couldn’t breathe seeing him again just brought all the pain and hurt you managed to stuff down right back out. You didn’t want to ruin Eddie’s night, didn’t want him to not have fun but you didn’t think you could stand near Steve without breaking down.

You were still filled with so much hurt and anger towards him. You had never wished bad karma on anyone but Steve because he deserved it. You walked around the side of the building trying keep it together so you wouldn’t ruin your make up. You leaned against the wall taking shallow breaths trying to get yourself to just calm down. It burned, your eyes, your arms, your legs,chest. It all burned with anger and hurt and it wouldn’t stop.

Eddie stood there watching you walk out instant regret filling him. Until, Harrington walked over “hey, she alright? She looked sick” Eddie felt anger bubble inside of him. How the fuck could he be so Fucking stupid how could he now see how badly he hurt her. Eddie wanted to punch him, pummel him until he was a bloody mess. “You’re shitting me.” He said and Steve looked back at him confused.

“You have the nerve to ask if she’s okay? Like you ever fucking cared about her.” Steve was taken aback by him “what? What’re you talking About?” Steve questioned. Eddie didn’t see you enter again but he was already going off so what’s the point in stopping now. “What do I mean? God! You really are a pretensions douchebag. You want to care now? Now? What about senior year huh? Why didn’t you care then?” Eddie shoved Steve back and now he was drawing more attention.

All at once Eddie didn’t care about making a good impression, he didn’t care that Chrissy was watching and he sure as hell didn’t care that he was gonna ruin his chances of being friends.

“What? She’s good enough to fuck, good enough to keep your dick warm but not good enough to be cared for?” Steve caught himself once Eddie pushed him “excuse me?” “You think we don’t know? Don’t know that you and her used to hook up, that you used her just to get back with Nancy?” Steve stayed quiet after that “you fucking used her when you knew how badly she loved you! How much she wanted to be with you. You didn’t even end it properly! You just show up with Nancy again and act as if she meant fucking nothing!” Eddie shoved him again and you finally stepped in.

“Eddie, stop…don’t do this. Not on her birthday.” You wrapped your arms around Eddie’s arm and tugged him away from Steve. Chrissy was now on the other side of Eddie helping you to pull him away. “Cmon guys let’s just go.” Chrissy said dropping her hand to hold Eddie’s. You turned “y/n I-” “don’t!” You interrupted him tears brimming “you’ve done enough, Steve. Just leave us alone” you,Eddie and Chrissy all left after that.

Eddie apologized profusely and you told him it was okay because it was. You spent the next few days working on your re-register for college and just stayed away from everyone. You weren’t trying to hide or isolate yourself but you just wanted to be left alone for a few days.

“Y/n! Your friend is here!” When your mom yelled up the stairs you sighed knowing eventually eddie wouldn’t let you stay inside forever. You slid off you before and made your way around to your stairs and to your surprise it was actually Robin. Robin was your friend yes, but the pair of you stopped hanging out once everything with Steve happened. “Hey..” you said and she waved. “I wanna talk if you’re okay with that?” You nodded “sure.” Robin came upstairs with you and sat down on your bed.

“First off, I wanna say I’m sorry for not trying better to be your friend after what happened. I didn’t mean to take a ‘side’ I just saw Steve more and I should’ve made a better effort to see you.” You nodded “I came here to tell you that Steve’s really upset with himself. I’m not here to try to convince you to go fix things but I think you should know he didn’t realize he had hurt you.” You sighed “I know he didn’t realize, but when you spent 90% of your time with someone and you kiss them and fuck them how could you just acting like that didn’t happen not hurt.” Robin nodded “it’s Steve, he’s an idiot” you let out a soft laugh.

“Steve really does feel bad. He’s been crying and won’t come in to work,Nancy even said he threw up after you and Eddie left.” You felt your heart pang with sorrow for him. “I know what he did was wrong, it was fucked up and I wouldn’t forgive him either. However I know you still love him.” You smiled softly “i also know that you miss him and that you know he deserves a chance to apologize.” You rolled your eyes “I hate you Buckley” Robin smile “yeah,I hate you too” the pair of you hugged and you accepted what you needed to do.

You could tell Steve was shocked when you showed up at his door at 1am. You really just came to see if he was as broken up as Robin said and he was. You could see the baggy red marks under his eyes and his hair was a mess not fixed how it normally was. You fully expected him to slam the door in your face but he let you inside without saying anything.

You had spent the whole drive over planning what you were gonna say to him. You turned around to talk to Steve but he just hugged you, his arms wrapped around you as you froze in place. He hadn’t hugged you in close to 3 years, now the fact you avoided him didn’t help. It took a minute to settle into the feeling of him so close again before you slowly allowed your self to relax and hug him. He still smelled of the same cologne, still hugged the same way using his whole body to engulf you. It felt normal,felt easy, he felt like home. You quickly pulled back and pushed him away.

“I didn’t come here for you to hang all over me.” Steves face sunk even lower at your tone “I came because Robin said you were fucking yourself up so I came to tell you to quit it.” Steve sighed “y/n I’m sorry. Really I didn’t realize how much you cared or-” “oh, shut up” you interrupted. “You knew. I know you knew because I overheard you talking to Nancy about it steve. I’m not a idiot.” Steve chewed on his lip.

“You heard us?” He questioned and you nodded “i heard you tell her that you wouldn’t ever want me like you did her, that even if we did date you’d only be thinking about her, that you knew I really liked you but you just didn’t care.” Reciting what he said made your heart hurt, he really said such awful things and you still love him.

“I was young then and stupid I didn’t know then how much you meant to me” you nodded “I meant so much? How come you never wrote to me like our friends did? If you cared so much why didn’t you reach out? You knew where to” Steve shrugged “because you don’t really care Steve. You can’t have Nancy so now you wanna be with me, that isn’t happening.” He shook his head “no! That’s not true I really care about you!” You sighed “I’m not saying you don’t. You just don’t care like I did.” Steve paused. “Did…? You don’t…you don’t love me anymore?” His eyes looked hurt, pained and you almost told him the truth.

“No. I don’t.” You said with as much confidence as you could muster. “God…” he sniffled “you’re just like Nancy” “excuse me?” You questioned. “I’m only good enough when you want me not when I want you.” You narrowed your eyes “you’re Fucking with me right?” Steve shrugged “let me make something clear before you run around playing victim to our friends. I loved you. I wanted to be with you. I let you take so much of my innocence, including my virginity because I loved you Steve. I put my all into our relationship. If you needed me I was there,if you didn’t I gave you space. I loved you so honestly and whole heartedly.” Steve looked down away from you.

“Who wasn’t there? Nancy. Who never gave you space? Nancy. Who got drunk and broke your heart? Nancy Fucking wheeler. I’m nothing like her. How dare you say I am! I loved you! I really did, but you just threw it all away. You crushed my heart when you were supposed to protect it and I’m in the wrong? What were you expecting that I just hold onto the hope that some day you’d love me enough? That i would be good enough?” You sighed “well,I lost that hope the day you looked me in my face and said I meant nothing to you.” You shoved past him and walked back out to your car angrier then ever as you sped away.

The next few months of summer were spent outside of Hawkins and with your dad in California. You didn’t try to contact Steve once keeping up with him through your friends though you learned that Nancy had broken up with Johnny again and gotten back with Steve.

Once you were back in town you made it a point to check on Johnny and he was pretty hurt. You comforted him as best you could and even told him he should try to come to your college which he applied to and got in. Eddie and Chrissy didn’t end up together she got back with Jason so you now had two boys who got their heart broken. The three of you became almost inseparable and while Eddie said he never would he applied and got into your college as well. The three of you were set to start next semester and you were the most excited you’d ever been.

Robin reached out here and there but you knew Steve meant more to her and you weren’t angry about it. Nancy pretty much just acted like you didn’t exist which you didn’t care. Everything was pretty good,you were getting over Steve slowly but surely.

Everything came to a boiling point though one night at Eddie’s trailer. You and Johnny had came over to smoke and just hang out, when you all three saw Steve’s car pull in you didn’t even glance a second time. You all assumed he was there to see Billy who you weren’t ever really friends with,he knew of what happened but you were sure it was Steve twisted version.

You giggled at Eddie as he passed the blunt to Johnny and watched as Billy came outside. Nancy and Steve both climbed from his car and then max climbed out afterwards. He drove her home, that’s sweet.

The three of you weren’t paying anymore attention then the other but when Steve started to walk over with Billy and Nancy trailing behind you knew something bad was about to happen. “Since when did you smoke?” Steve asked and you just shrugged “we all need to talk because you three ignoring everyone is breaking friendships.” He stood there hands on his hips talking to you all like you were some kid. “Dude, just cmon.” Billy pulled at his arm but Steve shook it off.

Eddie was about to snap and you put your hand on his arm standing up and walking off the small porch to Steve. “You wanna do this in front of your girlfriend Harrington?” He rolled his eyes “nothing she hasn’t seen before” you nodded “true I guess. We aren’t ignoring anyone we talk to them all. In fact Dustin was just at my house last night with his mom for dinner. We..” you started looking back to wave at the other two men. “Just don’t talk to you.” You said simply “why? Because you’re bitter?” You shrugged “because I’m over it” Steve huffed out w laugh.

“Over it?” You nodded “do I need to clarify? I’m over you Steve. Is that better? Clearer for you?” He crossed his arms “so, you just what..? Fuck these dudes until you stopped thinking about me? Like a fucking slut.” Now both Johnny and Eddie were up and off the porch as well. “Maybe I did.” You said with a shrug “someone might as well make me feel good” you prodded and Steve just stared at you.

“I have something they don’t though, your virginity.” He said it like it like was some sort of trophy. You laughed though and couldn’t help the way he looked taken aback at why you’re laughing. “Yeah well they both have something you don’t.” Steve nodded “and what’s that?” “Me.” You stated plainly. “Why don’t you guys just go, you’re starting unnecessary drama” Johnny said. “Technically you’re on my property so I suggest you get the fuck off it” Eddie added both of them stepping to move around between you and Steve.

“And if I don’t?” Steve antagonize, Eddie glanced back at you as if to make sure what he was about to do was okay. You shrugged, wasn’t your fault anymore. Eddie turned back around to give him one more chance stepping up so he was now in Steve’s face “I said, I suggest you get the fuck off it Harrington.” Steve wasn’t backing down though “which I replied with what’re you gonna do if I don’t?” Steve shoved Eddie and you tugged Johnny back before he got caught in the middle of it.

Sure enough Eddie threw a punch making Steve stumble but not knocking him over,a second punch did the trick though and Eddie was just on him. One punch after another probably breaking his nose in some fashion as Billy tried to pull him off. “You aren’t gonna do anything??” Nancy asked and you looked at her “he did it to himself.” You watched her roll her eyes and you huffed “Eddie. That’s enough” he stopped and got up shoving Billy away from him as he walked over to you. “Stay the fuck away from us” Eddie spat out as the trio of you walked inside leaving a bloody Steve on Eddie’s front lawn.