#Fourth Wall: 1/5
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Hey Spike, what did you mean by he in those hex number thingies?
🐟: 54 52 41 43 4b 42 41 4c 4c 20 41 4e 44 20 43 4c 49 43 4b 45 52 2c 0a 0a 4d 41 4b 49 4e 47 20 41 20 44 49 45 54 59 2e 0a 0a 48 45 20 49 53 20 43 4f 4d 49 4e 47 2c 0a 0a 48 45 20 4f 46 20 48 45 54 45 52 4f 47 45 4e 49 54 59 2e 0a 0a 48 45 20 49 53 20 43 4f 4d 49 4e 47 2e 0a 0a 48 49 44 45 20 54 48 45 20 54 52 45 45 2e 0a 0a 48 45 20 49 53 20 43 4f 4d 49 4e 47 2e 0a 0a 43 4f 4d 49 4e 47 20 46 4f 52 20 54 48 45 45 2e 0a 0a 54 52 59 20 41 4e 44 20 45 53 43 41 50 45 20 41 53 20 4c 4f 4e 47 20 41 53 20 59 4f 55 20 43 41 4e 2e 0a 0a 48 45 20 49 53 20 43 4f 4d 49 4e 47 2e 0a 0a 54 48 45 20 4d 59 53 54 45 52 59 20 4d 41 4e 2e
?!
🐟: Ow. My head hurts.
I- YOU- WHA- DID-
🐟: ?
YOU- HEXADECIMALS????
🐟: What hexidecimals?
🐟(ooc, not Fourth Wall): didin't know what art to make of this, srry!
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I activated the [Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint] right away. And then, bore witness to a message I had never seen before. [Applicable individual is a 'Character' from a worldview you are not familiar with.] …A 'Character' from a worldview I wasn't familiar with? Almost at the same time, bright light suddenly shone out from the naked man's eyes. [Someone is activating a power not registered with the system!] Circular disks were vigorously spinning above his retinas. [An existence of another dimension is spying on your true nature!] [Warning! This power cannot be fully blocked by 'The Fourth Wall'!]
What???
Now we have whole entire different universes showing up? With their own absolute beings???
.
.
Wait.
Could it be...?
I gotta go check something.
.
.
I freaking knew it!
Oh man, first Dokja asks if there are unseen readers out there reading his story and now he literally encounters the main character of another novel from our world.
We are really straining the Fourth Wall here.
...The Fourth Wall that didn't answer about the readers and didn't answer when Dokja asked if they'd run into Jae-Hwan again...
#ohhhhhh boy here we go#lmfao I do love though that dokja finally asks how hold yjh is#really really really old my dude#tens of thousands if not hundreds of thousands#(at least if you count Secretive Plotter's lifetime as part of his)#if nothing else he's a few thousand with probably 1-5 years in each regression plus his special training he did outside of time#...and you are like 90 if we count the 60+ years you just spent in the 0th turn (assuming that time flowed one to one for dokja)#talk about an age gap relationship for joongdok#granted even hankim was age gap after she spent all those years in that reincarnation world...#lmfao dokja was practically a BABY compared to some of his companions by the end#orv#orv spoilers#orv liveblog#omniscient reader's viewpoint#orv epilogue spoilers#orv novel chapter 528#kdj#the fourth wall#twatf
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being a busy ass student with student journalism gigs on one hand and comm academic shit on the other is very interesting because with the jam-packed life I live I only really get to breathe at like late lAAATE night when no one can bother me about my responsibilities other than myself. that being said that's also when creative brain goes into overdrive and now misfits finally has the final draft of its opening number woo
#so heres the thing kasi the opening number of that damn project hAS BEEN THE HARDEST TO WRITE#i believe at this point there had been morethan 10 drafts gjdjd because like heres the thing with that number specifically#misfits is a fourth wall breaky show within a show and the 5 narrators (and 1 misfit which i'll get to in a bit) knowingly perform#to appease the audience. hence the opening number throughout the years has reflected that - a performance that breaks the barrier between#audience and stage. even when misfits wasnt a show withjn a show concept this had always been the general treatment so that the audience#actually GETS whats happening - but i always come to changing it because well i also wanted to add foreshadowing factors: somehing that#suggests that the show isn't actually all that it seems. previous drafts had this show through the typical Tagalog - Real#and English - Scripted element in the show - language being used to determine authenticity. however that begs the question of how to#properly utilize the Misfits in the opening number - given that two of them dont know about the Show while the other is confused#and then at 2 am i remembered Hermes from Hadestown and boop a lightning bulb#instead of opting for opening numbers that had hints of sabotage or theatrical malfunctions that suggests that the show is Not What It Seems#i thought - why not have it 'malfunction' at the start and have it introduce the wrong character first 5 minutes before the Narrators come#so basically after the Producers (represented through um P.A. voices smth like that) welcome everyone - what is supposed to be the#introduction of the Narrators first ends up as the introduction of the 3rd Misfit (Zeke - 18 - nb) who appears genuinely lost#they appear genuinely in distress though they keep themselves composed at the realization that they are facing an Audience#and they Know this because he was formerly a Narrator as well - though at this point in the story nobody (bar one) knows that#they decide to take their time in chatting with the audience while charming them using their old Narrator tactics in order to get a grip on#whats going on - being a first step towards how involved the audience will be in the story as Zeke then goes to question them outwardly on#the morals of the story they expect and whether it is ethical to have children forcibly conform to religion in the first place#but they do so in an entertaining Bo Burnham manner - a way that doesnt catch people off guard until They Want To - because ayun he#plays by the rules of the show#this doesnt seem like the 'opening number' yet does it but im getting there fjd because once they sense that the narrators will be on stage#as a memento they teach them to sing a melody that will serve as Zeke's motif - something that will eventually scare the lead Narrator and#the Producers - because whenever the motif is sung it means that someone has Broken a Significant Part of the show#especially since the Motif was um lets say its from a now defunct show the Producers and Zeke and the Lead Narrator used to have#that melody will then be subtly present throughout the entire opening number of the Narrators - which will then be played straight#but with the Misfits make their pre-official-introduction appearances by forming the bridge of the opener using the Motif#thats when we learn of the show being compromised from the very start - especially with the lyrics of the motif expressing doubt in faith#personal shit (ran out of tags whoops but um yea basically its Have The Audience Have A Hint to Whats Going On Through Recognizable Motifs)#(also the motif the audience learns is a melody - Zeke (and the lead narrator) changes the lyrics as they go) (also sorry for the ramble)
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everybody’s so creative-
#i swear i play in the most chaotic save#1. leo being goofy asl like where tf did he get those bottles from#2. i'm trying to find a man that'll look at me the way ben looks at his ice cream#3. jackson coming into my house uninvited just to drink a glass of water and leave#4. ben's nephew being cursed at our wedding#💀#5. no words for kiyoshi lmfao#6. was just minding my business and he decided to break the fourth wall..
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Nanami Kento Masterlist, Part One
REQUESTS CLOSED!
Updated: 12th October 2024 -> ANY SUBSEQUENT UPDATES ON NANAMI KENTO MASTERLIST, PART TWO
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🔥 Smut 💔 Angst 💕 Romance
☕ Comfort/Fluff 🤡 Clowning
🐙 Monsterfucking 📚 Education (*dirty laugh*)
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1st of December 🔥☕💕 -- No-Nut November is over-- but Nanami Kento won't let you get away with it that easily.
7:3 🤡 -- Nanami Kento never thought about his 7:3 pattern...a fourth wall breaking moment.
BabywearingDad!Nanami" Ask and Drabble ☕
Bedlocked 💕🔥☕-- University!AU; will you and Kento be pushed to breaking point, when forced to share a room and a bed on a city thesis trip?
Behind the Wall 💕🔥💔-- who was this stressed, suited man visiting your gloryhole...and how could you fall in love so easily?
Childbearing Hips 💕☕🔥-- once Gojo points them out, Kento can't stop looking... And Part Two!
Conbini ☕💕-- Itadori Yuuji didn't like Kento, at first. A Papamin drabble. Kento x Reader.
"Dad Reflexes" Ask and Drabble 🤡💕☕-- Nanami Kento can catch anything.
Daylight Robbery 💕☕🔥-- when Gojo asks Nanami to cuckold him and his fiancée, things don't go the way Gojo planned...
Debellatio 🔥💕-- a Nanami x Reader x Higuruma sex-pollen threesome.
Deeper, Harder, Faster 🔥-- a Nanami x Reader x Ino threesome, where Nanami teaches Ino how to make love to his girlfriend. Based on a @nanaslutt post.
Deliverance 💕🔥-- with Vampire!Priest!Nanami
Disappointed ☕💕💔-- a Papamin drabble. When Yuuji takes himself on a suicide mission, Kento rescues him and chastises him with the reader.
Ditch the Party 🔥💕-- Nanami Kento hates parties. But the drinks? The drinks make him bold.
Domain Expansion theory-- Pseudowho's vision of Nanami Kento's domain expansion.
Domestic Bliss series 💕☕--
#1 Rant #2 Indentured Servitude #3 Car Repairs #4 Laundry #5 Foodie #6 Spicy #7 Cravings
Drunk Pick-Up Services 💕☕-- Husband!Nanami picks up the drunk reader and takes her home.
Edging Nanami Kento 🔥💕-- The reader drives Nanami Kento to the edge and back again.
Every Time 🔥💕☕-- you and Kento forget something vital when you have sex-- every fucking time.
Father's Day ☕-- a Papamin drabble. Kento misses the point, when Yuuji asks to buy him lunch.
Fire and Iron 💕☕🔥-- AU!Nanami Kento is the town blacksmith, and the reader is forced to stay the night after tending to his wounds.
Full 🔥☕💕-- Nanami Kento treats his pregnant wife like the goddess she is.
Glory Glory 🔥☕💕-- "Help, I'm stuck!" on a mission with Kento, and he takes full advantage of the compromising position.
Good Boy 🔥💕-- after a bad day, you know exactly what Kento needs to help him relax...
Good Girl 💕🤡 -- a drabble
Grandpapamin ☕💕-- Nanami Kento as a grandfather, Headcanons.
Grey 🔥💔💕-- The reader lives a vigilante life; so does Nanami Kento, a changed man after the events of Shibuya. When she is sent to hunt him down, Nanami Kento has a proposition for her.
Grey! Nanami Headcanons Part One ☕💕💔-- post-Shibuya Nanami Kento x Reader headcanons.
Grey! Nanami Headcanons Part Two ☕💕💔-- post-Shibuya Nanami Kento x Reader headcanons.
Grey! Nanami Christmas ⛄🎄 Headcanons ☕💕💔-- post-Shibuya Nanami Kento x Reader Headcanons.
Hanahaki 💕☕💔-- being in love with you is killing Nanami Kento.
Hands 💕🔥-- smutty drabble, SloppyDrunk!Kento
Hide and Seek 🔥-- Game night gets spicy.
Homebodies 💕☕-- You and Kento really, really, really don't want to go out.
Hot 💕🌶️☕-- You interrupt Kento while he's cooking...and things go horribly wrong.
"How well can you drive?" 🔥 -- the reader takes matters into her own mouth so Kento can prove his driving skills.
Infiltration (MULTI-CHAPTER) 🔥☕💔💕
(COMPLETE!) --the reader and Nanami Kento must pretend to be married, infiltrating a Curse-user cult to take it down from the inside.
Chapter One: Introduction
Chapter Two: Pillow Talk
Chapter Three: Deadly Games
Chapter Four: The Rumbling Shrine
Chapter Five: Breaking Point
Chapter Six: Exposed
Chapter Seven: The Captive Goddess
Chapter Eight: Unchained
In From the Cold ☕🔥💕-- The reader wanders in the snow, lost and injured after a mission gone wrong; will Nanami Kento save her?
Kento Comes Home Drunk 🔥💕-- and the reader handles his advances like a total champ.
And, its sequel... Reader Comes Home Drunk 🔥 💕-- where Kento manages the reader's advances like an absolute champ.
Kingsman!AU Nanami/Galahad 🔥💕☕
Kintsugi 💕💔☕-- you paint Kento's scars, until he shines with gold. Pre and post-Shibuya AU.
Knismolagnia 🔥💕-- Kento has a somewhat...erotic response to being tickled.
Last Moments 💔☕-- Nanami Kento remembers a childhood holiday.
Nanami Kento, and the Curses of an Unusual Nature (MULTI-CHAPTER) -- Nanami Kento is deemed the only Sorcerer sensible enough to handle some frankly weird Curses
- Chapter 1: Gone Shopping 🤡 -- locals are going missing at a large shopping centre; Nanami Kento is sent to investigate.
Nanami Kento's Massive Squeezable Man Tiddies 🔥☕-- the reader being casually obsessed with Kento's chest...repost link HERE!
Next of Kin 💕☕-- a Papamin drabble, feat. Higuruma Hiromi. Yuuji is arrested, and uses his one call on Kento.
Operation Babymaker (a new series!) 💕💔🔥☕ -- Nanami Kento takes trying for a baby very seriously indeed.
A Trip to the Tailors-- the reader reveals she's been off the pill for months, and Kento cannot contain himself.
Benchpress-- the reader interrupts Kento's workout, and is manhandled into submission.
Ditch the Party...again-- tipsy Kento is back, and deadlier than ever.
Wet Dreams-- Kento gives the reader a free-pass for when he's asleep...and he returns the favour.
Honeytrap/Maid Café-- you are sent to honeytrap a Curse-user on ovulation night...and Kento hunts you down to a Maid Café.
Grapple-- you ask Kento to teach you how to fight, and things get sexy.
Papamin's Big Day ☕-- Nanami Kento takes his baby for her first vaccinations, and finds it...emotional.
Push ☕💕-- two become three, as the reader gives birth in Nanami Kento's arms.
Raising You ☕💔💕-- When the reader is de-aged by a Curse, Nanami is forced to raise her like a daughter.
Red 🔥💔-- Nanami Kento, the infamous Curse-user, has been on the run for years...what will you do when he catches up to you?
Resolute ☕💔💕-- The reader helps Nanami to accept that he has a drinking problem.
Roleplay 💕🤡-- You pretend to be another woman, and Nanami Kento gives you the roleplay of your dreams.
Seasons of Grief 🔥💔💕☕ -- The reader supports Nanami Kento through the anniversary of Yuu Haibara's death, and afterwards, when Kento nearly loses the reader
Sexual Orientation 🔥💕☕-- it's not what you think. And, its little follow-up... Mine 🔥💕-- where the Reader loses her cool, just one time.
Shaving Lesson ☕💕🔥-- dad's teach their sons how to shave... and Yuuji doesn't have one. A Papamin drabble.
Shirtsleeves 🔥 -- The reader steals Kento's last shirt, and receives her comeuppance.
Skrunkly 💕☕🔥-- Kento loves you even when you look like a dirty raccoon.
Smut [smuht] (noun) 💕🔥-- Kento catches you reading smut...and pretends to be the bad guy from your story, seducing you.
Still Got It ☕💕-- The Nanami kids' parents are boring...right?
Stoic 💕🔥-- Kento is furious when Gojo assumes that his lack of PDA towards the reader shows a lack of desire.
The Accumulation of Little Despairs ☕💔💕 -- The reader struggles with low-mood; Nanami Kento comes to the rescue
The Chase 🔥💕-- The reader has insisted on No-Nut November; Nanami Kento gets his revenge by hunting her down and taking his reward.
The Silent Stars Go By 🔥💕☕-- Shibuya Ending Rewrite! Nanami Kento feels his death approaching...but he beats fate, when he tracks you down to confess his love for you.
The Voice P1 and P2 (two parts) 💕☕🔥-- VoiceActor!AU. A chance meeting in the dark with Nanami, sends him on a desperate search for the woman of his dreams.
Work Wife 💕☕-- someone wants to be Nanami Kento's work wife, and he's not happy about it.
The Wristwatch 💕☕-- How does Nanami Kento make sure everyone (including you) knows you're his girl?
The Wrong Tie 🔥-- Nanami x Reader AND Higuruma x Reader...Nanami and Higuruma make a mistake after fucking their wives in the same cupboard.
Why I love Nanami Kento
Yet Another Sex Pollen Fic, PART ONE 🔥💕
And...PART TWO 🔥💕 -- the reader has a problem... and only Nanami Kento can help her scratch the itch.
#jjk#kento nanami#jjk nanami#kento nanami x you#kento nanami x reader#nanami fluff#nanami kento#nanami kento smut#kento nanami x y/n#nanamin#jujutsu kaisen nanami#jujutsu nanami#kento nanami smut#nanami#nanami kento fluff#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento x you#nanami smut#nanami x reader#nanami x y/n#nanami x you#kenjiro tsuda#kento x reader#kento#nanami fanart#nanami art#jjk thoughts#gege when i catch you gege#Pseudowho#Haitch
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Indycar crash course
(For this all I’m just going to use 2024 as an example)
I hope this is helpful feel free to ask any questions!!
1. Teams/drivers
* There is no limit on how few or many drivers can race for a single team.
* Most teams have 3 cars but some have as low as 2 and others have as high as 5
* Drivers don’t have numbers, the cars/teams do (ex: David is car #66 but will change to #41 when he changes to Aj Foyt racing)
* Additional Teams/drivers will come in for the Indy 500
2. Circuits
* circuit types – from road and street circuits to short ovals (one mile or less) and long ovals, often referred to as superspeedways.
* From what I have seen most Indycar drivers like/prefer ovals
3. Chassis and engines
* Dallara is the exclusive chassis supplier for INDYCAR. The chassis is made of carbon fibre, Kevlar and other composites, and weighs approximately 770 kg.
* Chevrolet and Honda are the two engine manufactures in the series and supply competitors
4. Tyres
* Like Formula 1, INDYCAR has a sole tyre supplier. But instead of Pirelli rubber, INDYCAR uses Firestone.
* Firestone provides three types of tyres for road and street courses, and one for ovals. On road and street courses, there is the ‘primary’ black tyre. The ‘alternate’ red tyre is a softer compound that allows for higher speeds but wears faster. A grey sidewall tyre is used in wet weather conditions.
* On ovals, only the ‘primary’ black tyre is used and if the rain falls at this type of circuit, Indy cars will not take to the track.
5. Aeroscreen
* In Formula 1, the teams have the halo. In INDYCAR, the aeroscreen is a ballistic, canopy-like windscreen anchored by titanium framework surrounding the cockpit.
6. Race weekend format
* The format of race weekends changes from race to race, however the most common is that Friday consists of two practice sessions – one in the morning and one in the afternoon.
* On Saturday, there is a morning practice session followed by qualifying in the afternoon.
* Sunday is race day and it begins with a warm-up session at road and street courses. However, on oval circuits there is no warm-up session.
7. Pit Stops
* Unlike Formula 1 where 16 team members assist during a pit-stop, just seven members of each INDYCAR team are permitted go ‘over the wall’ to execute a pit-stop.
* Team members include: four tyre changers, a fueler, a person responsible for the air jack (to raise the car to change the tyres) and an aeroscreen assistant to clean or pull a ‘tear-off’ from screen to help the driver’s vision.
* Each crew member is required wear a firesuit and helmet for protection.
* Indy cars refuel at each stop and drivers pit depending on the length of the track. In the 10 seconds it takes to fuel the car, all four tyres are changed.
8. Point scoring
* Points are awarded for all finishing positions in INDYCAR.
* First – 50 points, second – 40, third – 35, fourth – 32, fifth – 30, sixth – 28, and so on, going down to just five points for the lowest finishing position in the field.
* Bonus points are awarded for: pole position – 1 point, leading at least one race lap – 1 point, and most race laps led – 2 points.
* For the Indianapolis 500 and the final race of the season, points are doubled in those races.
TEAMS (as of end 2024 season)
1. AJ Foyt Racing
* 14 Santino Ferrucci
* 41 Sting Ray Robb
2. Andretti Global
* 26 Colton Herta
* 27 Kyle Kirkwood (logan’s friend !!)
* 28 Marcus Ericsson
3. Arrow McLaren
* 5 Pato O’Ward (McLaren reserve driver)
* 7 Alex Rossi
* 6 Nolan Siegel
4. Chip Ganassi Racing
* 8 Linus Lundqvist
* 9 Scott Dixon
* 10 Álex Paluo Montalbo
* 4 Kyffin Simpson
5. Dale Coyne Racing
* 51 Katherine Legge
* 18 Jack Harvey
6. Ed Carpenter Racing
* 20 Christian Rasmussen
* 20 Ed Carpenter (ovals only)
* 21 Rinus Veekay
7. Juncos Hollinger Racing
* 77 Romain Grosjean
* 78 Conor Daly
8. Meyer Shank Racing
* 66 David Malukas
* 60 Felix Rosenqvist
9. Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing
* 15 Graham Rahal
* 45 Christian Lundgaard
* 30 Pietro Fittipaldi
10. Team Penske
* 2 Josef Newgarden
* 3 Scott McLaughlin (twt icon)
#indycar#indy 500#f1#formula 1#logan sargeant#ls2#david malukas#pato o'ward#kyle kirkwood#josef newgarden#arrow mclaren#mclaren
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Level 1: Dating sim character has a mental breakdown when they realise that they’re a character in a video game.
Level 2: Dating sim character realises that they’re a character in a video game, and is weirdly cool with it.
Level 3: Dating sim character knows they’re in a video game, but they’re convinced that they’re the human player and you’re just a fourth-wall-aware NPC.
Level 4: Dating sim character successfully proves that they’re the human player and you’re just a fourth-wall-aware NPC, whereupon the perspective immediately switches so that now you’re playing as them and your former viewpoint character is an NPC.
Level 5: Dating sim character successfully disproves that their world is just a video game, and the game immediately ends.
#gaming#video games#tropes#dating sims#metatextual wankery#twist: these are all possible endings in the same game
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Hey! Can I request a falin x reader where reader is a lone researcher in the dungeon and stumbles into chimera falin and the two fall in love?
Maybe Like a 5 times the reader has met chimera falin and 1 time the two get to meet after she’s turned back type story?
beauty/beast
…ft! falin x gn! reader
…tags! 5+1 format, reader is like slightly unhinged, fluff with moments of angst, slight suggestiveness
…wc! 2789
…notes! grimm tries not to come off as a monsterkisser for nearly 2.7k words, the fic,,,, hope you enjoy!!!! i love chimera falin so bad…
One
You can’t say you didn’t ask for this.
It’s a death sentence to traverse into a dungeon on your own, especially with your lack of combat skills. If you were sane, you’d have hired a bodyguard to help take down monsters you couldn’t handle. Fortunately, you are not, and decided instead you could very well handle monsters in a pacifistic way.
Any companion you told this to chose to stare at you like you admitted to dark magic.
So, you’ll simply prove the nay-sayers wrong! After all, how hard can it be to tame some monsters?
Very hard, actually. Like… incredibly.
You had to pride yourself in how you managed to sweet-talk some petty thieves for advice on monsters in the floor you’re currently on, even how to avoid orcs! At least that much is out of the way.
As for fighting, well, sometimes a very sharp slap to the head with a book, or even the sharp tip of a pen can subdue anyone, if just to give you enough time to run.
Besides, blood makes for some extra ink if you just happened to come by a dead body!
Going purely on efficiency alone, you’re doing tremendous work! When it comes to your study? Not so much.
The purpose of coming all the way down here is that you have a very specific urge. That being, to tame a beast. Some researchers gained the will to try and do the same to elemental spirits, why not other monsters?
One of the most common rebuttals you receive is that monsters are animals, they can’t be tamed at all, and you shouldn’t even try lest you want your head bitten off. Considering thus far you only got bitten by a walking mushroom, you think you’re doing rather well! (You did take an hour to contemplate to yourself how a walking mushroom seemingly has teeth, though.)
That brings you now later to the fourth floor, trying to shield your notes from the water as you lament losing more ink. Sure, you might write a little bit more than should be necessary, but you surely can’t be out already!
So, delight fills you as you peer past a doorway to see the top half of a woman face down on the floor. Haha, you can likely drain her pretty easily for some ink! Looks fresh enough, and some patches of her are already damp with red!
You skip over, humming as you do so, when all at once the woman jerks and looks up at you. Her golden eyes pierce your own, making you freeze in place. You wonder if something had gotten mixed up and a succubus ended up making its way to an upper floor, when the walls of the small tower the woman is inhabiting collapses.
A chimera screeches at you, as if telling you to leave it alone. If you weren’t so awestruck, you would have tried to shush it, lure it towards you and petted its oddly human head. Alas, you let the chicken-legged thing go, finding a safe haven for itself.
Day 1: I have found a beast in its purest form. I must pursue it. I must tame it.
Two
‘Obsession’ would be putting your experience lightly.
You had never wanted to gaze upon a monster as much as you wished to see the chimera again. Unique is its proportions, the lower body of a dragon and the torso and head of an adult tallwoman.
To anyone else, its face must be more of a lure. With the prettiest face and… great assets to boot, like a fish drawn to an angler fish's light, a blindsided adventurer comes near.
You had tried to navigate where the beast has gone, observing the damages of certain areas to lead you closer to it.
Thoughts course through your mind like speckles of a daydream as you walk and walk and walk, trying to sneak past other enemies and adventurers as you do so. What would its feathers feel like? Is it different from the mop of blonde hair on its head? You didn’t get the chance to observe its eyes – are they human or monster? What of its body heat? What is its diet?
Ah. Diet.
Your own body stops walking in realisation. By all means, comparing their mouth to the rest of their body, it’s ultimately impossible for the chimera to have a stable diet in this dungeon, correct?
Perhaps… you need to make a lure of your own.
Even after days of navigating the dungeon, you still have plenty of rations from the surface remaining in your bag. Hopefully the chimera likes the most noble meal one can fit inside a lunchbox — meats and pasta with the richest sauce. One could say your taste in meals is unique, eliciting a morbid curiosity. If the beast is more in tune with its human side, it will react the same.
You don’t know what tempted you to arrange a table with two chairs on either side. It’s not like the chimera could fit, but it was only suitable for your first formal meeting with it! Oh, how you can’t wait to observe it eating, and so close…!
If you’re lucky, it may even attempt to taste you.
You promptly shake off the thought.
What you focus on now is to draw the chimera near. It seems to favour secluded areas, but has been seemingly chased around. Aw, is it scared of humans? That’s just adorable! Or, maybe, it’s resting before setting off on a search… Now that’d be some juicy stuff! Who’s the chimera’s prey? Another monster, or humans?
Oh, of course you’ll use yourself as bait. You’re not a coward!
You know basic enough spells that you won’t be entirely drained of mana upon use, lighting up a route to catch the chimera’s attention upon spotting it. Down you lead it, making yourself look as bright and delectable as possible, before sitting in your seat, your meal readily prepared for the chimera.
You smile up at her as she pokes at the food you prepared, and she begins to eat.
Day 3: The beast was very hungry upon encounter. Even when she finished the meal, she insisted on having something more. I complied, and soon I had emptied my entire share of rations. The chimera eats food made for humans easily. This elicits curiosity – it might be proof enough that the chimera’s existence in this dungeon is unnatural. Even now, it looks too… human. I feel uncomfortable now referring to the beast as such – an ‘it’. Thus, I will refer to the chimera as ‘she’ from here on. It suits her. She truly is magnificent. All signs point to her being an attempt at creating a ‘beast-kin’, but instead of using the soul of a monster and body of a human, it’s as if it’s a mesh of both. A disgustingly beautiful transformation. To compare, it is not dissimilar to the breeding of a pug. Deliberately done to appease someone, something. A selfish birth. Someone must be wanting to do the same as I to the chimera – tame her to their whims. …I’ll have to look further into this.
Three
You feel less in control of your studies these days.
The more you hang around the dungeon, scavenging for food and following your muse, the more insane you feel. But, for the sake of research, you power through.
The chimera, she has been opening herself up to you. When she gets anxious, her feathers ruffle, and you shush her with pets. She calms down occasionally. Once, you had encountered her, blood on her body and under her fingernails. You cleaned her using the mana-infused water. She had never looked so calm.
She doesn’t feel like a monster you have tamed, but a friend.
This scares you.
Sure, there’s the possibility that the chimera is an unnatural phenomenon, and isn’t even a monster.
But that also means you’re losing your resolve.
The chimera sits with you, as you scrub her red-scaled talons free of dirt and blood. Her upper body leans on you, resting. You can even hear little chirps slipping from her lips.
She’s so cute.
Even as her golden eyes soften, the small slits in them dilating to exhibit relaxation, she smiles at you. You don’t flinch when her hands take your face to look at you. She’s a bird after all – she might be trying to memorise you, how you look, so she knows not to hurt you in the future.
You were nearly about to reminisce on your further embarrassment when the chimera speaks.
Four words. She spoke four words in the common language, leaving you staring at her. You’re speechless. She must know that she’s caught you off guard as she slowly tucks your hair behind your ear and moves away.
The moment is quickly ruined. “Dragon!” A boyish voice calls. “There you are. You’ve been leaving my side so frequently. There’s no time to–”
An elf in a cloak freezes upon noticing you. His heavy eye bags rival your own as he glares down at your sitting position.
You don’t do anything, merely looking up at your friend in confusion. She is back to being silent again, reaching her arms out to the elf, as if about to pick him up. He swats at her, before pointing at you.
“Kill them,” he demands her.
She hesitates. You also find yourself unable to move. So the chimera is under someone’s control after all. This elf, forcing you apart from your friend.
You hardly process your friend lifting you off the floor, her fingers closing in around your throat. Tighter and tighter. Your eyes can barely make out her empty expression as she squeezes the life out of your lungs.
Snap.
You fall onto the floor, and the mad mage leaves with his dragon in tow.
Day ??: “My name is Falin.” The chimera told me this last time we encountered one another. She has a name. A beautiful name that belongs just to her. Falin. …I would say ‘my Falin’, but she is not. She is under the control of that elf. I wouldn’t want her to be my Falin anyway. She shouldn’t belong to anyone. I was revived by a kindly Eastern woman, who is accompanying a group of retainers following their lord. They are joined by another party, also recently revived. Apparently, in my revival, I had uttered her name, “Falin,” and captured the attention of the malnourished lord. He is looking for her. …I was informed she is his love. Pushing personal feelings aside, I asked to come along. I neglected to mention Falin’s current state. I couldn’t do that to him right now. Maybe once he sleeps, or eats… but not now. Falin, I wish to save you. That is my goal now. You are not a monster to be tamed.
Four
Today, you met Laios Touden.
He is Falin’s older brother, you learn.
You met a lot of people, actually. You met Falin’s party, an elf who Falin went to school with, as well as Laios Touden.
“You’ve seen Falin?” He asks you, brow creased. He had leaned forward in interest. Lord Toshiro, Kabru, and Asebi were also listening to you with intrigue.
You nod. “Yes, but I fear the situation might be a little more than you have bargained for,” you vaguely inform.
Your words would be interrupted by Laios’ request to talk privately with Toshiro, to which you comply. You do already have a feeling of what's being said, something Kabru seems to pick up on as he glances over at you.
“Falin… isn’t faring well, is she?”
“Not in the traditional sense,” you reply. Kabru grimaces, clearly not appreciating your rather… erratic way of conversing. You add before he could talk back, “she’ll come back for me.”
Kabru furrows his brow. “Excuse me?”
His question remains unanswered until you are swept up in a heated battle. Looks of horror cross everyone’s faces at the bloody acts committed by the chimera.
You merely smile.
“Hello beauty,” you whisper when she turns to you. Falin steps forward, cornering you. You welcome her with open arms – and the world becomes dark again.
Day ??: Scorned though I may be by Lord Toshiro, I know myself not to be mad, but in love. Yes, I am in love. I know this now for certain. I know that he, too, is in love. I do not see his wishes badly. In fact, from a sane man’s mouth, it is perfectly understandable. Dark magic is dangerous. As is love. He’s risking his own reputation for it, even if others don’t appear to see things the way he does. But when push comes to shove, I am not that sane man. I am joining Laios Touden’s party in the retrieval of Falin. The aftermath of the battle consisted of a hearty meal. Who knew monsters could taste so nice? Keep this in mind for the next adventure. I had figured this all came from the result of black magic. Marcille Donato is a much more interesting woman than I thought. I’m sure I could learn a lot from her. Hence, we march forward. I know you aren’t in your right mind, Falin, but trust that I am. I will risk it all for you, beauty.
Five
The ice is cold underneath your fingertips. The woman encased inside is relaxed, as if she’s merely asleep. To see her completely separated from the lower half of the chimera body was something uncanny to you, so used to seeing her towering over you, able to squash you like a bug.
You turn to Marcille as she approaches. “You had the right mind, keeping her fresh like this. Deep down, you really did want to follow through with the plan!”
The blonde elf is sheepish. “I did end up causing a right mess in the end. It… It was selfish of me.”
“It was love,” you reply.
“Not the love Falin needs, though,” she finishes.
You both stare up at her in silence. If you were delusional enough, you could swear you could see Falin breathing.
“I love her,” you admit, quieter than you have ever been. “Is that alright with you?”
Marcille turns to you, her eyes wide. For such a gossip, she really hasn’t picked up on it?
“I…” She hesitates. Her hands reach her trousers, and she scrunches up the fabric in her hands. “It’s not my choice what – or who – Falin chooses. I don’t think I have the right to decide anything for her.”
You nod, graciously taking Marcille’s word to heart.
You feel you’ve also changed throughout your journey. Volatile as you may be, you appreciate Falin as she is. An untamed beauty. Not for anyone to claim or put their ideals onto.
She’s simply Falin.
“Come on,” Marcille takes your hand. She has the kind of look on her face where you know she accepts you readily. “Let’s go eat, okay? For Falin.”
You smile back. “For Falin.”
I don’t care about the day anymore. Falin is being revived today. Soon, I’ll have a chance to meet the real her. The beauty behind the beast. Ha. I haven’t called her that for a while. Maybe I’ll follow Toshiro’s way and propose immediately too? No, Marcille may accept me, but that might result in another need for revival. I can’t wait to get to know you.
the first time
Falin opens the door with a dazed expression, not expecting the crowd waiting around the door. Of course, this resulted in quite the hoo-ha. People running around, celebrating the successful revival of Falin Touden. You wait patiently for you to be welcomed once more.
The woman is sitting calmly at her bed. Some of her features are still feathered, but you’ve always liked how they felt underneath your fingertips.
She glances up at you, examining your form.
You’re taller than she thought.
“Hi,” you say, handing over a random blade of grass you picked.
Falin takes it. Her fingers brush against your own. She starts twirling the natural green between her fingers. She smiles warmly. “Hello,” her soft, tired voice returns. It’s so sweet that you might melt. “My name is Falin. It’s nice to meet you.”
You know from the way she glances up at you that she already remembers you quite well.
Feeling the happiest you’ve ever been, you fall into Falin, pulling her into the tightest of hugs.
“It’s so wonderful to meet you too, beauty.”
Today, she asked me if she could belong to me. I said yes, but only if she belonged to herself first. She accepted.
#✮ grimm's fics!#FALLS OVER#this is my longest fic so far i think wow#as falin deserves#delicious in dungeon#delicious in dungeon imagines#delicious in dungeon x reader#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi imagines#dungeon meshi x reader#falin#falin touden#falin x reader#falin imagines#falin touden x reader#falin touden imagines
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The Osomatsu-San Iceberg 2.0!
(Click More For Full Explanation)
*- Take Caution When Researching
Tier 1-
Osomatsu-Kun- A Comedy Manga by Fujio Akatsuka which ran from 1962 to 1969 which followed a group of sextuplet (a multiple birth of six children) brothers. It was later adapted into two anime, one by Studio Zero in 1966 and another by Studio Pierrot in 1988 as well as spin-off by Studio Pierrot in 2015 titled “Osomatsu-San” which follows the sextuplets in their 20-somethings as NEETS.
Fourth-Wall Breaks- Osomatsu-San has multiple moments where the characters will break the fourth wall, such as in the first episode where the characters try to be a “proper anime”, or worship Fujio Akatsuka like a god.
Visual Distinguishers- The Matsuno Brothers have multiple visual distinguishers so the audience can more easily tell the brothers apart. Examples include: Signature Color, Hairstyles, and Facial Expressions. The brothers were given different colors supposedly because the character designer couldn’t tell the difference between them.
Parodies + References- The anime makes dozens of parodies and references to other anime/popular media such as Attack on Titan, Saw, Demon Slayer, Naruto, and Sailor Moon. The anime’s extreme popularity in Japan also led to other anime to parody and reference Osomatsu-San including The Disastrous Life of Saiki K, Love Rice, and JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure. Osomatsu-San has too many references to other anime and there’s too many references to Osomatsu-San from other media, so I just included it as one entry.
NEET- A common acronym in Japan which stands for Not in Education, Employment, or Training, but also includes anyone who is not engaged in housework, unemployed, not seeking work, and not in any school or work-related training.
F6- The F6 are the idealized version of the Matsuno brothers that parody pretty-boy anime. The “F” in F6 stands for Fujio, as in Fujio Akatsuka, the creator of the original manga. In the first episode, their first appearance, Ichimatsu transforms into a hybrid stylization of the 2015 anime and the 1966 anime, but in the season finale they are seen alongside the Matsuno brothers, implying they are separate characters.
___Matsu Boys and Girls- The fan term for each of the six brothers, based on Karamatsu’s line calling his fans his “Karamatsu girls and boys”.
Banned 1st Episode- The 1st episode of the anime was banned in Japan due to copyright law, as Japan has no clause for parody and has a more strict interpretation of fair use. It was never confirmed which company filed a copyright infringement against Osomatsu-San, but there is a theory that the Attack on Titan parody was the main culprit. The episode has still not been released on physical media and all streaming services do not carry the first episode, instead beginning the series on the second episode.
The Osomatsu-San Movie- Released on March 15th 2019, the movie follows the brothers traveling back in time to meet their high school selves and to resolve one of the brothers’ biggest regrets.
Collab Ad Campaigns- Osomatsu-San has collaborated with dozens of other brands on merchandise/advertisement campaigns. Many of these collaborations have created special events and merchandise for Osomatsu-San. Examples include: Ministop, Sweets Paradise, Dohtonbori Okonomiyaki, and Sanrio.
Akatsuka’s 80th- Osomatsu-San was created in honor of Fujio Akatsuka’s 80th Birthday and death, having died at 72 in 2008.
Todomatsu Face Meme- In the episode “Todomatsu and the 5 Demons” Todomatsu makes a face at his brothers for talking to the Sutabaa baristas, which has become a meme that has even spread outside the Osomatsu-San fandom.
Tier 2-
Homura-Chan is a Porn Actress- Although nothing is stated outright, it is heavily implied in her first episode appearance that she is a porn actress as Osomatsu finds a porn movie and seems surprised by the cover before going on to have a conversation with Jyushimatsu which Jyushi ultimately avoids.
Karamatsu Wears Contacts- A fun fact that few in the fandom seem to remember is that Karamatsu wears contact lenses. Although he (and all the Matsuno Brothers) have brown eyes, he wears brown contacts, but the presumed reason he wears contacts is because circle contacts (mainly worn by cosplayers and Japanese teen girls) make eyes look bigger and cuter- which is why Osomatsu insults him for wearing them.
Episode 3.5- Also titled “Episode 3.5: Virgin Heroes”, an episode was created to be put on home media releases to replace the 1st episode due to the ban. It is chronologically after Episode 3 but before Episode 4 and has two segments. The first segment features the F6 in a parody commercial, with the second focusing on Choromatsu seeing a group of college kids having a barbecue and being visited by the Cherry Boys (the other five Matsuno brothers in Power-Ranger parody outfits)
BLMatsu- A fandom term for incest ships involving the Matsuno brothers romantically or sexually. BL stands for Boys Love, which is a popular anime and manga term for gay male pairings typically aimed at women. Common ships include OsoChoro and KaraIchi.
Broken Heart Tongue- A small detail in the series is that whenever Jyushimatsu is depicted smiling, his tongue is in the shape of a heart, but in the episode “Jyushimatsu’s Girlfriend” when Jyushimatsu is crying at Chibita’s Oden stand, his tongue is a broken heart.
Matsus Unknown Age- The brothers’ age has never been specified in the Osomatsu-San anime. They are said to “not be older than 24 or 25” and that their parents have been married 24 years and they were born soon after, so they have been assumed to be around 24 but it has never been confirmed.
Girlymatsus not Related- A common misconception in the fandom is that the Girlymatsus are sisters, or the earlier fan theory in Season 1 that they are the Matsuno brothers in drag- but the Girlymatsus were later confirmed just to be friends.
An Anecdote With Horses- An exclusive episode made in collaboration with the Japan Racing Association (JRA) which aired on December 16th, 2016 which featured skits of the Matsuno brothers racing horses.
English Dub Production Issues- After Viz Media acquired the rights to Osomatsu-San, it came out in September 2020 that the English Dub of Osomatsu-San was delayed to be reworked as well as having to replace Christopher Niosi (Choromatsu’s original VA) with Sean Chiplock, due to abuse allegations which Christopher later confessed to.
4th ED is the only ED without stop-motion- While the majority of the Osomatsu-San ending themes feature stop-motion using a variety of items such as toys, clothing, and food; the 4th ending (the second ending of the second season) uses slow-motion footage of paint being dumped onto busts of the Matsuno brothers.
Pine Tree- The kanji for “Matsu” translates to Pine Tree, which is why the pine tree symbol is so frequent in the show’s iconography, such as in the title and on the brothers’ sweaters.
The Hipipo Tribe and The Glistening Fruit- The first of two movies released to celebrate the sixth anniversary of the anime, which features the brothers journeying to find a fruit which grants wishes before encountering the Hipipo Tribe.
Hatabou’s Meat- In the episode “Tell Us, Hatabou”, Hatabou sells meat out of a variety of vendors, but when the brothers ask what kind of meat it is he refuses to answer. Earlier in the episode his employees try to boot him from the company, which leads to his new business venture, implying that the meat is of his former employees though it is never stated outright within the show.
The Soul’s Takoyaki Party and The Legendary Sleepover Party- The second of the two movies released to celebrate the sixth anniversary of the anime, which features the brothers hosting a takoyaki (grilled dough balls with octopus inside with a variety of toppings) party which turns into a sleepover.
Hair Color Change- In the original series Osomatsu-Kun, both the 60s and 80s, the brothers had brown hair but in Osomatsu-San they are depicted with black hair.
Tier 3-
May 24th- The Birthday of the Matsuno Brothers.
Fandubs- Due to the long development time and many delays of the official English Dub, there are multiple fandom dubs of the anime.
Fan Vocaloids- The Osomatsu-San fandom has many popular fan vocaloid covers, some of the most well-known including Matryoshka, Normie Eradication Committee, Rolling Girl, and LOVE 1000%.
Hesokuri Wars/Tabimatsu- Also known as “Osomatsu-San Hesokuri Wars -Battle of the NEETS-“ is tower-defense style strategy mobile game that was released in Japan in 2016 and later being released in English in 2017, before being shut down on October 2nd of 2022 to make way for Tabimatsu. Players would choose a team of 10 characters to fight through stages, with dozens of exclusive events and character variations being released. Many popular AUs in the fandom were inspired by sets released for Hesokuri Wars.
Each Brother’s Name Meaning- Osomatsu translates to lame, or Osoi which means slow- referring to him being the most “basic” of the brothers and lazy. Kara can mean emptiness, referring to his narcissism and chasing his brothers’ approval. Choroi translates to simple, referring to his more average personality. Ichimatsumuyo means checkered pattern (along the lines of a Go board). Jyushimatsu translates to society finch, which are known to be kind like Jyushi. Todomatsu meaning Manchurian fir or “finally”, as “finally” was his catchphrase in the original 60s anime.
Jyushimatsu’s Catchphrase Change- In the first season Jyushimatsu’s main catchphrase was “Muscle Muscle, Hustle Hustle” but in season two and onwards, it was changed more to “Booeh.” There wasn’t any explanation given by the show staff as to why it was changed.
Letter’s Contents- The entire letter Choromatsu had written in “Letter” was never revealed, with only one or two lines spoken by Choromatsu at the beginning of the skit describing what he’d written before later modifying it, leading fans to speculate exactly what was written.
Brothers are pure evil- At the end of the episode “Godmatsu”, in order to defeat Godmatsu the brothers combine their darkness to create Akamatsu. Once Godmatsu is defeated, they absorb only Akamatsu back into themselves, therefore only being made of their evil self. This possibly explains their more violent nature after this point in the series.
AOP Breakup- AOP is an idol group that formed in 2012 under the agency Nikkei Entertainment. The group created multiple songs for the anime, including the theme songs “Zenryoku Batankyu wa Yoiko Dake”, “Hanamaru Pippi wa Yoiko Dake”, “Maboroshi Wink”, and “nice to NEET You!” On December 14th, 2020 the band stated they would be ceasing activities before disbanding in 2021.
Sakurai Drama- Takahiro Sakurai is the original VA for Osomatsu who admitted in 2022 to having cheated on his wife for 10 years, planning to eventually marry his affair partner. Due to this scandal, Osomatsu-San content has been delayed for the past two years.
Religionmatsu- A popular AU which depicts the Matsu brothers as gods, devils, angels, and clergymen. One of the few AUs which was created by the fandom and not inspired by a Hesokuri Wars set.
Sickfics- A fanfiction genre in which one character cares for another who is sick. These fanfics are particularly popular in the Osomatsu-San fandom because of the episode “We Caught a Cold” in which all of the brothers catch a cold and each have a moment to care for the others.
Matsuno Family Dependents- A “wallpaper simulator” type mobile game where the player collects variants of the Matsu brothers and raises them.
Dekapanman- A Parody of Anpanman in which Dekapan dresses up as a hero that gives items from pants to children which was significantly censored due to the controversy and copyright infringement caused by the parody.
Shueisha Manga- Beginning in 2016, a manga series was released alongside the anime. Published by Shueisha in the magazine You from 2016 to 2018 then Cookie from 2018 to 2020 with 10 volumes of stories not featured in the anime.
Only Child Theory- Theory that states that Osomatsu is an Only child with a personality disorder that causes him to develop different personalities that are “his brothers”. As the first known sextuplets to have been born and all survive were born in 1974, many years after the original 60s anime aired. The skit “Sanematsu” is often used as proof for this theory.
Tier 4-
Stage Shows- “Osomatsu-San on Stage: SIX MEN’S SHOW TIME” is a musical adaptation of the original anime, with three seasons matching the anime and having been released on home media.
Episode 10 Controversy- There are some reports of Episode 10 causing controversy upon release for having characters transition to women for personal gain. (Though I will admit, in my research I could not find any comments/posts accusing the show of being transphobic. The only slight criticism I could find was of the ending being too harsh towards Chibita and Iyami’s actions and the episode’s pacing being too slow. I am not claiming that the controversy does or does not exist, or that the episode is or isn’t offensive, I just could not find any evidence in my research of people taking offense to it.)
More Than 6 Brothers- Theory that there are more than 6 brothers as in some scenes in the anime and some promotional material it appears that there’s more than 6 brothers. Though there are episodes in the anime in which another brother is accepted into the group or created such as Godmatsu or Akamatsu.
Where is Orange Matsu?- The brothers all fit the primary (Red- Osomatsu, Yellow- Jyushimatsu, Blue- Karamatsu) and secondary (Green- Choromatsu, Purple- Ichimatsu) colors with the exception of orange as Todomatsu’s main color is pink. This has led some to theorize that there is a secret orange brother. The show creators stated that they made Todomatsu’s color pink to make his style more feminine and youthful, as well as to show that he’s intentionally trying to not fit in with his brothers by not following the same pattern.
Pazzmatsu- AKA Puzzlematsu is a match-3-tiles puzzle mobile game released in Japan in 2016 which continued until April 2018 when it was rebooted as “New Pazzmatsu”.
Doramatsu- A series of audio drama CDs that include unique stories that did not appear in the anime.
Matsus Stay Dead After S2- In the finale of Season 2, the brothers die from a plane crash and are sent to hell for their numerous misdeeds. This theory posits that the brothers stayed dead after the end of season two and that season three is their personal hell. This is a joke theory to explain season three’s shift in focus.
Osomatsu-San the Live-Action Movie- A Live-Action movie with a unique story based on Osomatsu-San with members of the J-Pop group Snow Man playing the Matsu brothers.
Brothers can’t be told apart in 1st promo- In the first promotional image released for the anime, the brothers’ personalities and visual distinguishers hadn’t been ironed out yet so long-time fans of the series noticed that it’s near impossible to distinguish which brother is which in the image. The only brother that is able to be identified is the center brother holding Karamatsu’s signature glasses.
Osomatsu-Kun Grows Up- Technically Osomatsu-San is an alternate universe to the original Osomatsu-Kun series canon, as in 1993 a beer ad was published showing what the Matsu brothers became when they reached adulthood. Osomatsu becomes a salaryman, Karamatsu marries a grocer’s daughter and helps with the family business, Choromatsu becomes a policeman, Ichimatsu marries and becomes a CEO, Jyushimatsu becomes a doctor, and Todomatsu works in a fish market.
Light Novels- Osomatsu-San has spawned a handful of Light Novels and short stories with plots not included in the anime. Examples include: Osomatsu-San the Beforematsu and Aftermatsu, VS Kochikame, and Shut Up Osomatsu.
April Fools- To celebrate April Fools, Osomatsu-San has released multiple fake announcements and fake Tabimatsu sets. This includes the 2015 announcement that the series would be releasing a new Osomatsu-Kun project, the 2017 announcement that a live-action adaptation starring the Byplayers would replace the anime, and the 2019 Tabimatsu set with a Irasutoya art style.
Yamano to Matsuno- The last name of the family was originally Yamano but was changed to Matsuno last minute as Yamano was considered a more “generic” last name.
Tier 5-
Date or Work- Also known as “Osomatsu-San the Game” is an adventure game released in Japan in 2017 for the PSVita. The story has you play as a heroine who gets calls and texts from the brothers asking for advice on their quest to get a job.
Karamatsu is Bisexual- In the first Osomatsu-San movie Karamatsu says “Sorry to keep you waiting, Karamatsu girls and boys!” Also in a drama CD Karamatsu reads off a love poem that he wrote to a male convenience store worker named Kumada Youji. It’s still debated whether the drama CD is canon to the anime and if the line in the movie was just referring to his fans in a non-romantic or sexual sense.
Recycled Scripts- Some of the episodes such as “Iyami, Alone in the Wind”, “ESP Kitty”, and ”The Life of Chibita’s Flower” were based off of chapters of Osomatsu-Kun modified to fit the series. Some skits from Season 3 were also based off of Doramatsu tracks.
Do Matsu’s Smoke?- A topic of debate in the Western fandom, Karamatsu is shown to smoke in multiple episodes and Osomatsu has been shown to be surrounded by cigarette boxes previously but it hasn’t been stated whether the other four brothers smoke.
Brothers had freckles- In the original Akatsuka designs for the brothers, they were designed to have freckles on their cheeks as well as other different facial features. These were changed to make the faces look more cute and easier to draw.
Ichi’s Personality given to Todomatsu- Ichimatsu’s Personality was going to be more snarky and rude than his current more doom and gloom. His characterization was instead given to Todomatsu by Miyu Irino’s suggestion, thinking that the youngest brother being catty would be funnier.
Life-Sized Statues- For the 2016 Summer Wonder Festival, the company Figurex 3D printed life-size statues of the six brothers, with smaller versions of the figures being sold at the event as well. While some have reappeared at Osomatsu-San events, such as the Ichimatsu figure, some have not been seen since their original showcase; this has led fans to search for the statues current locations. There is a link to buy one of the statues from one of the Japanese websites that first reported the event, but the link is now dead and leads to an error page.
Osomatsu-Kun Video Game- AKA “Osomatsu-Kun: Nonsense Theater” is a platforming video game released for the Sega Mega Drive in 1988 based on the original Osomatsu-Kun manga to promote the upcoming anime. The game only had a total of three levels with confusing level design and bad controls that caused it to gain an infamous reputation. It has recently gained a cult following as a kusoge (a Japanese video game that is celebrated for its awful quality.)
Cheaper by the Dozen- The manga was originally loosely based on the TV Show “Cheaper By the Dozen” (an American film from 1950 about a couple and their 12 children) with there being 12 children, but Akatsuka found it too hard to fit 12 characters in a single panel so he decided to cut the amount in half. Eventually changing it to be identical sextuplet brothers.
Denki Mystery- A popular AU that started as a Hesokuri Wars set. As opposed to other Hesokuri Wars sets, Denki Mystery had an entire storyline based on mystery novels, David Lynch films, and Japanese horror.
Iyami + Dekapan Made By Akatsuka’s Assistant- Both the characters Iyami and Dekapan were created by Fujio Akatsuka’s Assistant and later added to the manga.
Rice balls are Govt plants/Destroy NEETS Theory- Theory that the Riceballs were created by the government to reform NEETs to be functioning members of society.
Tier 6-
Six Same Faces #3 Song in Japan- On the week of December 28th, 2015 the song SIX SAME FACES ~今夜は最高!!!!!!~ (the first ending song of the first season) reached #3 on the Billboard Hot 100 in Japan, following the album’s release on December 16th, 2015.
Clone Theory- Theory that states that the brothers were cloned from Osomatsu. (I will admit I cannot find my previous evidence of this theory, if anyone does have proof of someone creating this theory or evidence for the theory please let me know.)
Sheeh Was a Real Trend- Iyami’s catchphrase/punchline used to be a cultural meme when Osomatsu-Kun was big in Japan. Famous figures to imitate Iyami include Godzilla and John Lenon from The Beatles.
VR Game- A virtual reality game collab that ran in Anime Plaza Machida and Adore’s Sunshine Store from 2017 to 2018 in which the player would hang out with the Matsu brothers in the bathhouse. It was later released theatrically as “Movies in VR!” in 2018 with “Evangelion: Another Impact”.
Fesmatsu- To celebrate each season’s release, a festival was thrown which would feature live action skits performed by the voice cast.
Todo is the hardest to animate- According to some of the animators who worked on the first season of the anime, Todomatsu was the hardest to animate of the six brothers because of his more feminine and youthful mannerisms.
Pachinko Games- Pachinko (an arcade gambling game) Games made in collaboration with Osomatsu-San, typically reusing animation from the anime though some have original animation exclusive to particular pachinko games. Examples include: Pachislot: Osomatsu-San, Pachislot: Osomatsu-San ~The Surprise~, & CR Osomatsu-San THE Drum.
Korean Dub Censorship- Due to South Korea’s strict censorship laws, Osomatsu-San was heavily censored by completely removing shots or scenes that featured characters being nude or wearing swimsuits. Some of the ridiculous censoring goes to the point where if a character is wearing a bikini, the entire screen will be cropped to only show their chin and up. Any scenes including nudity, swearing, violence, and sexual references were cut from airing or censored to hell and back (which to be fair is 99% of Osomatsu-San.)
Browser Games- Games that were available through Yahoo, some which were ported to AU SmartPass in the Osomatsu-San NEET Collection. Some examples include: Quiz Battle, Pleasing Totoko-Chan, & Osomatsu-SAN’s Black Factory.
Love Letter Board Game- A board game which players play as the brothers trying to woo Totoko-Chan.
*Matsuno Official Sex Toys- In collaboration with Kanojo Toys, a Japanese adult toy manufacturer, two dildos replicating Ichimatsu’s and Jyushimatsu’s canon lengths were released. The items were meant to be gag gifts but sold better than expected. The official website mocking Jyushimatsu’s girth and Ichimatsu’s length. “Hand massagers” of the other four brothers were also released. I hope y’all like this iceberg because now I’m being aggressively marketed at Japanese sex toys for researching everything on here.
S3E10 Aired on Crunchyroll before Japan- The tenth episode of the third season of the anime was delayed from airing as the channel was broadcasting the TV Tokyo Live 2020 U.S. Women’s Open which had previously been delayed due to rain. Though due to an error, the episode was released on time on streaming platforms early.
Tier 7-
Dmatsu-San- An internet series animated with Flash that aired on NTT DoComo to tie in with season 2 of the anime. The series includes 12 episodes, each at a minute’s length. Each episode features one of the sextuplets interacting with either Totoko or Iyami.
# of Dayons- In the episode “Let’s Get a Job” the brothers work in a factory that is revealed to be creating Dayons or clones of Dayon- as well as in the episode “Dayon Tribe” it’s shown that there’s an entire society living within Dayon’s stomach. This has led fans to question how many Dayons there are in the world of the anime, or if every appearance of Dayon is a different Dayon.
Sheeh-Wave- An internet radio series with the VA for Iyami interviewing other voice actors in character as Iyami. Having two seasons with the first airing from 2015 to 2016 and the second airing from 2017 to 2018 broadcast on Animate.TV.
*PASH Reveals Matsunos fetishes- In a magazine interview with the VAs for the Matsu brothers, each of their VAs had to guess their character’s fetish. Osomatsu- Boobs, Karamatsu- “As long as there’s love”, Choromatsu- “I won’t say” or humiliation as said in a Drama CD, Ichimatsu- Paw pads, Jyushimatsu- “Eh?”, Todomatsu- legs and bellybutton wrinkles.
2 Withheld Skits- 2 skits that were removed after the Dekapanman apology. Presumably parodies of other Japanese children’s media, but no information about what they were have been released.
The Red String of Fate Lost Fan Song- A fan vocaloid that was released on YouTube and Niconico Douga that featured a thumbnail with the sextuplets laying in a circle with a red string connecting them together. The red string wraps around Osomatsu’s finger and forms a heart in Todomatsu’s hands. The song had the brothers sing about their connection together before bursting into tears at the song’s climax. The video has been taken down since 2020 and is now lost media.
*Fetishmatsu- The part of the Osomatsu-San community that creates fetish media featuring Osomatsu-San characters. Please take caution when researching further, because I’m not messing up my search history any further.
*Live-Action Matsu Porn- Osomatsu-San being such a popular series, multiple live-action porn videos featuring the Osomatsu-San characters (mainly featuring Karamatsu & Ichimatsu). Examples include: Karamatsu Maturbates for You, IchiKara Hajimeyo!, and Ichimatsu Spanks It.
*Amputee Karamatsu- An infamous piece of fetishmatsu art that depicts Karamatsu with his legs cut off.
Osomatsu-Sanpo- A Pokemon-GO style game where players would find and catch different variations of the sextuplets through AR on their mobile device. It only ran from February to September 2017.
Swimsuit Hesokuri Set- An unreleased Hesokuri set which has the Matsu brothers wearing pretty plain-looking one-piece bathing suits. Possibly used for testing out game mechanics in updates.
What Does Sheeh Mean?- Iyami’s catchphrase which he will scream out when surprised. When asked what the phrase meant, Fujio Akatsuka never answered, leaving the phrase a mystery to this day.
*IchiKara Endurance Battle- An infamous doujinshi piss fic with Ichimatsu and Karamatsu having an “endurance battle.” Please take caution when researching further.
*Periodmatsu- An image of a Matsu brother drawn in period blood on someone’s thigh posted by the account “Periodmatsu”. It is debated whether the image was faked or real. Often confused for Period Drama Osomatsu-San, an episode from the second season of the anime.
*Banana Milky Way (Meiboku)- An infamous beastiality doujinshi with Ichimatsu and the tiger from S1E10.
*Assault Machine Gun- An infamous 2016 doujinshi by Tellmin in which the Matsu brothers are sexually assaulted and r*ped for not being able to pay their debts to Chibita.
Rejected Bathhouse Quiz Short- A rejected skit from “Christmas Osomatsu-San”. Airing only at the 2017 Spring Nationwide Invitational Screening Festival alongside clips of each Matsu brother depending on which room you entered. Now considered to be lost media.
*Todokaras- An infamous member of the fandom that scammed their fans/followers, groomed minors, promoted beastiality, abused animals, and claimed victimhood. This is just *some* of their behavior. Please take caution when researching further.
Thank you all for all of your support and patience, if you have any questions I will try to answer to the best of my ability!
#osomatsu san#mr osomatsu#ososan#osomatsu matsuno#choromatsu matsuno#jyushimatsu matsuno#mr. osomatsu#karamatsu matsuno#todomatsu matsuno#Osomatsu San iceberg#osomatsu#karamatsu#Choromatsu#ichimatsu matsuno#ichimatsu#jyushimatsu#todomatsu
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time bound part three
pairing: worst wolverine!logan howlett x f!mutant!reader
Part Three - Masterlist
summary: Y/n’s life takes a dramatic turn when the Time Variance Authority intervenes, pulling her from a critical moment in her timeline. The TVA sends her to the void where she eventually meets with Deadpool and a very familiar face. With Deadpool's universe in the balance, alongside his reluctant would-be pal, Wolverine, and the enigmatic time-bending mutant known as the Veil, the trio must complete the mission and save Deadpool’s world from an existential threat.
overall warnings: 18+, Fem!Reader, AFAB Reader, Use of Y/N, Her X-Men name is Veil, She/her pronouns, Swearing, Angst, Heavy Violence, Character Death, Deadpool (he’s his own warning), Hurt, Fluff, Angst, Eventual Smut, Slow Burn, TVA
word count: 2k
My legs feel numb, something cold and metallic digging into my back—chains, pinching at my skin. I try to shift, but the restraints hold me tight. There’s a warmth surrounding me, and I glance up to see Johnny's face, our noses inches apart. “Welcome back, Pumpkin!” Deadpool’s voice calls out from behind, dripping with that annoying cheerfulness that makes me groan and drop my head.
Johnny twists us around, the chains binding the two of us together keeping us suspended above the ground. Now, I’m facing Logan and Deadpool. Deadpool’s staring at me, and while it’s hard to tell through the mask, the tilt of his head makes me think he’s smiling.
He turns to Logan and asks, “How long was I asleep?”
Logan’s response is gruff, “Not all of you was asleep.”
I cringe. “That’s so—"
“Hot?” Deadpool interrupts, his tone mockingly hopeful.
“I was going to say disgusting.”
Deadpool pouts, his voice taking on a playful edge. “I sense a little closeted anger there.”
I squint at him, feeling the absurd need to defend myself. “I’m pretty comfortable with my sexuality, thank you very much.”
“Don’t clench those cheeks of yours too tight, Pumpkin. I see the way you look at Wolvie here.” He tilts his head towards Logan, who finally meets my gaze.
I quickly look away, shame creeping in. He must hate me for what I did. Or for what I couldn’t do.
Deadpool starts rummaging around, searching for something. “Don’t bother. They’re very thorough,” Johnny tells him, a slight edge to his voice.
Logan cuts in, his tone demanding, “You know where we are, start talking.”
Johnny’s voice is calm but serious. “You’re in The Void. Think of it as purgatory. Reed called it a metaphysical junkyard where anything useless goes before it gets annihilated forever, and where the TVA sends people that don’t play nice with the rest of the multiverse.”
Logan raises an eyebrow. “Like you?”
Johnny nods. “And you. Or her.”
Logan’s voice hardens. “What does the annihilating?”
“Alioth,” Johnny answers, his voice low.
Deadpool’s eyes widen behind his mask. “Alioth is in this thing? From Loki, season 1, episode 5? You know she wrote a fanfic about Loki. I’m talking to you, reader.” He suddenly turns to face the empty space, as if he’s breaking the fourth wall again.
I squint at him, my voice dripping with annoyance. “What are you doing?”
Deadpool gives me that familiar little head tilt, and I can almost see the grin beneath his mask. “Just keeping things meta, Pumpkin.”
Johnny continues, “Everyone here is on the run from Alioth. Most don’t make it. But there’s a resistance. Other people like us that manage to survive. We’re hiding out in the borderlands, trying to find a way to fuck outta here.”
Logan nods, his voice resolute. “Then that’s where we go.”
Deadpool's eyes light up with excitement. “We? Us? A team? The answer is yes. Shake on it.”
Logan unsheathes his claws, the metal gleaming menacingly.
“Fuck! You nicked it,” Deadpool yelps, pulling his hand back quickly. “Just got the tip with your little steak knife.”
Logan ignores him, turning back to Johnny. “These others can help us get back to the TVA. They can fix things.”
Johnny lets out a dark laugh, and I nudge him, trying to keep him focused.
Logan’s eyes narrow. “Something funny, Bub?”
Johnny’s expression grows serious. “She might have something to say about that.”
Logan’s brow furrows in confusion. “Who’s she?”
Johnny's voice lowers ominously. “In The Void, you’re either food for Alioth, or you work for her.”
The words hang heavy in the air as we approach the gates—or rather, the colossal, decaying corpse of Ant-Man. His gigantic hands, now reduced to skeletal remains, are locked together to form the entrance. As they creak open, a cold shiver runs down my spine, a foreboding sense of doom settling over me. Johnny’s body flares with heat, a stark contrast to the icy dread filling my veins, betraying his own spike of anxiety.
We’re unceremoniously dumped out of the cage, rolling onto the hard, unforgiving ground of the courtyard. The atmosphere here is bleak, desolate—a wasteland filled with the lost and the damned. Variants and mutants alike mill about, their eyes hollow, their spirits crushed by the relentless despair of this place.
From behind, I feel Pyro’s glare burn into my back. I turn slightly, catching sight of Toad, still nursing his wound. With a spiteful smirk, I stick my tongue out at him, my eyes glinting with a momentary spark of defiance.
The air around us shimmers, rippling with unseen energy as Cassandra’s presence draws near. In my sleep, I had only glimpses of her, vague and haunting. But now, as her silhouette emerges, a pang of grief stabs at my heart—she reminds me too much of Charles.
Deadpool breaks the tension with his usual irreverence. “Oh, you must be this year’s Juggernaut.”
“Please be quiet,” I mutter, but my voice lacks conviction.
“Keep your voices down,” Juggernaut rumbles. “She don’t like the chatter.”
Logan casts a sidelong glance at Deadpool. “She’s gonna love you.”
Deadpool, never one to heed warnings, continues, “Is it Charles? Hey, hey, Chuck, it’s us!”
Logan and I exchange a grim look. “That’s not Charles,” we say in unison.
Cassandra steps from her wheelchair, moving with a graceful menace as the sunlight catches her bald head. The air around her seems to crackle with latent power.
“Ah, shit. Oh, ableism great. That’s not gonna go over well with the woke mob,” Deadpool quips, earning a scowl from Logan.
Cassandra’s eyes settle on Logan first, cold and calculating. “A Wolverine. I wondered when I’d get one of you.” Then she turns to me, her gaze piercing through my defenses. “You’re one of Xavier’s.”
Deadpool, ever the disruptor, cuts in. “You know him, you know Chuck?”
Cassandra’s smile is thin, almost serpentine. “Oh, I knew him. We shared a womb. Tried to strangle the sly little fellow with my umbilical cord.”
“Amen,” Deadpool responds, almost gleeful. “I’ve never loved roommates. Mine’s blind, except she could see cocaine for some reason.” He turns to Logan, searching for an ally. “You wanna chime in, Your Majesty? I’m dying here.”
“Who are you?” Logan growls, his patience wearing thin.
“Charles Xavier’s twin,” Cassandra says, her voice dripping with venom. “Cassandra Nova.”
Deadpool’s eyes widen in mock horror. “Oh, shit. Is it anal birth?”
Cassandra’s expression remains unreadable as she assesses us, her tone almost playful. “You two are cute. I have a good feeling about this.”
Her gaze sharpens as she shifts back to Johnny, a predatory gleam in her eye. “And I’ve been trying to catch this little firefly for years, haven’t I, Johnny? You picked the wrong time to make new friends.” She spares me a brief, dismissive glance. “I’ll get to you later,” she adds, her voice like ice. “—pumpkin.”
A shiver runs through me at the nickname, the way it slithers off her tongue far more menacingly than it ever did from Deadpool.
Deadpool, undeterred, presses on. “Oh, Johnny told us all about you.”
Logan’s warning is low and dangerous. “Maybe shut up now.”
“Yeah, maybe don’t,” I echo, my nerves fraying.
But Deadpool barrels ahead. “We were just talking here. Yeah, Johnny told us you’re a psychotic, megalomaniacal asshole. His words, not mine. Hell-bent on domination and pain.”
Cassandra’s eyes narrow. “You said all that about me?”
Johnny stammers, panic clear in his voice. “No, no! How do you— I didn’t say anything!”
“Sticks and stones, Johnny!” Deadpool laughs, his tone mocking. “Don’t let her intimidate you. Like you said in the convoy. This finger-licking, dead inside, pixie slab of third-rate dime store nut milk can eat your delicious cinnamon ring and kick rocks all the way to bald-hell.”
Johnny looks horrified. “I have never said any of those words in my entire life!”
My muscles tense, knowing Deadpool is pushing too far. “That’s enough, Deadpool,” I warn, preparing to act if necessary.
But Deadpool continues, seemingly oblivious. “Ah! The modesty! People think I’m a shit-talker, but this guy, next level.”
“What? This- I- wait- I don’t even know what half of that means!” Johnny protests, his confusion growing.
In a flash, I manage to blip Johnny back a few hours, replacing him with a decoy just as Cassandra’s wrath descends. She tears into the decoy with brutal efficiency, ripping its skin clean off. I breathe a sigh of relief, knowing Johnny is safe, even if the others are none the wiser.
Deadpool gasps in mock horror. “Not my favorite Chris.”
Logan’s fury is palpable. “You stupid piece of shit, you just got him fucking killed!”
I feign distress, staring at the decoy’s lifeless form, playing my part.
“Hey, we’re all grieving!” Deadpool adds, his tone too flippant. “PS, do you know what he was doing to the budget?”
Cassandra’s voice cuts through the tension. “Alioth is hungry.”
“There’s been some kind of mistake,” Deadpool protests, his bravado faltering. “Big Yellow is a backup Anchor Being, and I’m Marvel Jesus, MJ if you’re nasty. This may be hard to hear, but there’s another British villain. He’s gonna destroy my universe, and I’m gonna stop him.”
Cassandra’s smile is chilling. “Oh, honey, you don’t really strike me as a world-saving type.” Deadpool flinches. “Did I hit a nerve?”
He tries to regain his footing. “I didn’t want it to come to this. Either you help us, or my friend here is gonna sing the entire second act of Music Man, with zero warm-up.”
Logan tries to change the subject. “Where’d you get the chair?”
“Once in a while, I do get a Charles through here,” Cassandra muses, her voice distant, almost nostalgic. “Never mind, though. No. He didn’t care to find me.”
Deadpool rolls his eyes, exasperated. “Ah, Gen-Z and their trauma-bragging! Can’t you just stuff it down, turn it into accomplishment or cancer like the rest of us?”
Cassandra’s eyes gleam with dark amusement. “But I’m not like the rest of you. Except maybe the Wolverine. Now, we could be truly terrifying together.”
Logan sneers, his claws itching for a fight. “You’re that scary, huh?”
“The TVA certainly thought so,” Cassandra replies, her tone dripping with satisfaction. “They sent me here before I could walk. And you know, it’s the best thing that ever happened to me. I love it here.”
“You live in a garbage dump,” Deadpool retorts, unimpressed.
Cassandra’s smile widens, a cold, cruel thing. “I think we both know who lives in the garbage dump. The Void is a paradise. I can wield my power here without shame. Unfortunately, I had no Charles Xavier to teach me temperance.”
Her eyes lock onto mine, sharp and predatory. I’m still coated in the thick, warm blood of Johnny’s decoy, and the sight only seems to excite her. “I told you I would get to you. I’ve been waiting to crack into that mind of yours.” She steps forward, her finger outstretched, and I stumble back, my heart pounding in my chest.
But she’s too fast, closing the distance in an instant. Her long, cold fingers seize my face, digging into my temples with a vice-like grip. The pain is excruciating, a white-hot lance that stabs through my skull as she roots around in my mind. Flashes of my past flood my vision—my dead friends, my failures, my desperate search for Logan. And then, the happier memories, from a time long gone, when Charles and Erik were younger, when hope still felt within reach.
With a sudden, brutal yank, Cassandra rips her fingers free, leaving me crumpled on the ground, gasping for breath.
I hear Logan shout something, but the words are muffled, lost in the haze of agony clouding my thoughts.
“Interesting,” Cassandra murmurs, almost to herself. “But boring. Your Charles, he protected you, made you feel safe?”
Logan’s growl is low, feral. “We’re done talking.”
“No,” Cassandra whispers, her voice a silken thread of menace. “We’re just getting started.”
Next Part
A/N: Guys, I’m on a roll and I was originally going to write this chapter as a recap but with Logan’s POV, instead, those will be added later as bonus chapters! I’ll try get a masterlist up and running.
taglist: @oscarissac2099 @somiaw
comment if you want to be added!
#marvel#fanfic#fluff#angst#smut#marvel cinematic universe#deadpool movie#x men#mutants#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett#hurt/comfort#hugh jackman#deadpool and wolverine#wade wilson#wolverine#long post#deadpool 3#deadpool#worst wolverine#x reader#female reader#timeboundseries
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Arthur and Merlin travel back in time without knowing the other is from the future too AU
Tagging @aceauthorcatqueen , @fallenxjas , @smileytrinity ,@lucifertookmyshoe , @an-entity-i-think , @thecornerofbelu , @griffonskies , @odinjm , @cinnabon-sweetroll-tiramisu , @thelady-mary , @bennedict , @nightninjaboy , @st8-of-grace , @star-rie , @error-username-not-available , @dogberryrowan , @jamieweasley13 , @tansyuduri , @tercais , @robynnemrys , @evadne01 , @serasvictoria02 , @hairdryerducks , @hopeaha , @curiously-lazy , @ harriettesthings , @andrealux16 , @wacko-weirdo , @greatdonutenemy , @yougottobekittenme , @anxiousosaurus , @kinkforwings , @someweirdassnamee , @impracticalantlers , @miyriu , @hobipabo
LINKS TO THE OTHER PARTS OF THIS AU HERE: PART 1 , PART 2 , PART 3 , PART 4 , PART 5 , PART 6 , PART 7 , PART 8 , PART 9 , PART 10 , PART 11 , PART 12 , PART 13 , PART 14 , PART 15 , PART 16 , PART 17 , PART 18 , PART 19 , PART 20 , PART 21 , PART 22 , PART 23 , PART 24 , PART 25 You're here , PART 26
[Welcome to: ✨breaking the fourth wall space✨
Knight 2 and 3: (marching around with signs that say "NO TO NAMELESS CHARACTERS" and "WE DESERVE NAMES")
Me: What on earth are you doing?
Knight 2: We are going on a strike! 😠
Knight 3: Yeah! We refuse to act until we are given names. 😠
Me: You can't do that! You are my characters!
Knight 2: Then why won't you give us a name!
Me: Cause you are also extras.
Knight 2 and 3: (Gasp and bring a hand to their chest, very offended)
Knight 3: That hurt ☹️
Knight 2: But Innprudence has a name!
Me: Yes, but it's basically a gag and he hates it.
Sir Innprudence: (In a corner, lying on the floor and looking at the sky) Is my existence a joke?
Knight 2: Well, you can start searching for a Knight 4, 5 or 6 if you want, cause we are not going to be part of this play until we are given an identity. I think it's the least we deserve.
Me: (sighs) Fine. You (points at Knight 2) will be Sir Ewan and you (point ar Knight 3) will be Sir Owain.
Sir Ewan: We have names! 😃
Sir Owain: Yay! 😄
Sir Innprudence: I hate you 😒
End of ✨Breaking the fourth wall space✨]
In "The Labyrinth of Gedref"
Arthur, Merlin and some knights hiding behind bushes while hunting.
Arthur: (calls quietly) Merlin (urges to come closer with a head gesture)
Merlin: (Comes closer and whispers) What is it?
Arthur: I don't know. We'll surround it.
Merlin: (feels the presence of the unicorn, thinking) Oh, no! (says) Got it. I'll go in there to flush it out. (makes a gesture to go)
Arthur: (stops him by the arm) Are you insane?! we don't know what it is. It could be dangerous!
Merlin: (smirks) Good think you have my back then. (frees from his grasp)
Arthur: (tries to grip his arm him again, but Merlin moves before he can and goes in there) Damn you, Merlin.
Merlin runs as fast as he can until he finds the unicorn. It is as majestic as he remembers, but there's no time the admire the creature.
Merlin: (urges) Go! They're going to kill you! Please, go!
Unicorn: (moves closer to Merlin and neighs happily, so Merlin pats him)
Merlin: ... Okay, this is cute, but there's no time! You have to go!
Arthur: (in the distance, puts down his crossbow, whispers to himself, surprised) The unicorn...
Merlin: (desperate, puts himself infront of the animal) Don't shoot!
Sir Innprudence: What the hell is he doing?
Arthur: (seeing the knights still have their crossbows pointing at the unicorn, but more importantly, pointing at Merlin) Put down your crossbows.
Sir Ewan: But sire-
Arthur: (sternly) I said put them down!
Knights: (put down their crossbows)
Arthur: (goes to Merlin) Merlin-
Merlin: (hugging the unicorn by the neck, closely) You can't kill it, Arthur! (eyes starts shining with unshed tears) You can't! Please!
Arthur: Alright, alright, I won't! We won't.
Sir Ewan: (comes closer) Incredible!
Sir Innprudence: (comes closer too) I thought they were extinct!
Merlin: They almost are. There's very few of them. (caresses the unicorn's head fondly) Unicorns are rare and mystical creatures.
Sir Ewan: Of magic. Which means it's dangerous.
Merlin: Only if you harm it. There is a legend that says that bad fortune will come to anyone that slays one.
Sir Innprudence: Yeah, I heard of that legend too.
Sir Ewan: So we are not hunting it because of some legend?
Arthur: Legend or not I'm not going to risk it. With creatures of magic you can never be sure.
Merlin: (gives Arthur a thankful smile)
Sir Ewan: We don't have to kill it. We can capture it and bring it alive for the King-
Merlin: (shouts) NO! 😡
Arthur: We are not going to do any of that, Sir Ewan.
Sir Innprudence: So... we are just going to... let it go?
Sir Ewan: Oh, come on! It's a fucking unicorn! Of course we are not just going to-
Arthur: Yes, we'll let it go.
Sir Ewan: But-
Arthur: It's an order! And no word of this to my father. Understood?
Knights: Yes, sire.
Unicorn: (smells Merlin and moves so Merlin also pats its back)
Merlin: (giggles) I think he likes me. (continues to pat the unicorn fondly)
Arthur: (watches Merlin in awe)
Sir Innprudence: (lets a burst of laughter)
Arthur: (turns to Sir Innprudence, serious) What's so funny, Sir Innprudence?
Sir Innprudence: (composes himself quickly) Oh, nothing, Sire. I just...
Arthur: You just what?
Sir Innprudence: I just find it quite curious that the unicorn it's so attached to your servant, sire.
Arthur: And why is that? (thinking, worried) Does he suspect Merlin has magic?
Sir Innprudence: Well, when I was a kid I used to read a lot of bestiaries and, from what I remember, unicorns feel atractted to the smell of... virgin maidens, sire.
Arthur: ...
Sir Ewan: ...
Merlin: (turns to them, confused) Why are you looking at me like that? 🤨
Arthur and Knights: (burst out laughing)
Merlin: ... Are you alright?
Sir Innprudence: (stops laughing) Wait... does this mean they haven't done it yet? 😨
Sir Ewan: (hits him) Don't be disrespectful! 😠
Sir Innprudence: Ow! I'm just saying! If he is not giving the Prince THAT, then what is he-OW!
Merlin: (to Arthur) What are they talking about?
Arthur: (puts an arm around Merlin, smiling to ear to ear) Just of how virtuous you are. (To the knights) I'm no ignorant of the rumors regarding my manservant and I hope this is enough prove to you that Merlin is nothing of what they are saying. He's an honorable man and I expect you to always remember that.
Knights: (nod) Yes, Sire.
So they let the unicorn go and come back to the castle. Merlin is so relieved a catastrophe was avoided than he couldn't see the new one coming.
At the horse field. Merlin's mare is chasing around a nobel that tried to ride him.
Nobel: (running) Help! Somebody help! 😭
Princess: (neighs furiously while going after him)😤
Stable boy 1: We warned him.
Stable boy 2: Yep.
Stable boy 1: Do we feel bad for him?
Stable boy 2: Nah, he was an ass.
Stable boy 1: True. Did you send for Merlin?
Stable boy 2: Yeah, he should be here in a sec.
Merlin: (arrives running to his mare) Princess! (puts himself between the nobel and his mare) Princess Eboni Lily Plum Pendragon, that's enough! 😡
Princess: (calms down and lowers her head)
Nobel: (stands up and brushes the dirt from his clothes) Pendragon? Is this a horse of the royal family? I wouldn't have tried to ride it if I knew.
Merlin: (frowns at him while patting Princess' head) No, but she's mine.
Nobel: (looks Merlin up and down) Yours?
Merlin: Yeah, an the stable boys have especific instructions to not let anybody but me ride her. Let me guess, you didn't give a damn, did you? You just wanted to do as you pleased.
Nobel: Who do you think you are to speak to me like that?! 😠
Merlin: The Prince's manservant, you dickhead.
Nobel: (Open his eyes wide) The Prince's manservant?
Merlin: I can call The Prince if you don't believe-
Nobel: Oh, you are the maidman!
Merlin: ... No? 🤨 I'm his manservant. What does maidman even mean?
Nobel: (realises his slip up) Oh, forgive me. Uh... I won't touch your horse again.
Princess: (neighs at him) 😡
Nobel: (gives a very masculine scream and runs away)
Merlin: (Turns to the stable boys) Why did he...
Stable boys: (look away, very nervous)
Merlin: You know what he meant 😑.
Stable boy 1: Uhm...
Merlin: Spill it out. Now.
Stable boy 2: Well, as you know, maid can be short for housemaid or maidservant.
Stable boy 1: However, it's also the way some nobels refer to women that... warm their beds at night.
Stable boy 2: But you are a man, so...they call you maidman.
Merlin: ...You must be joking.
Stable boy 2: No. And that's the most polite nickname you have.
Stable boy 1: Yeah, you don't want to know the others.
Merlin: But that's absurd! I don't have that kind of relationship with Arthur!
Stable boy 2: We know, of course. We do not distrust your word.
Stable boy 1: Or the one of the unicorn.
Merlin: (incipient fear) What unicorn?
Stable boy 2: The unicorn that appeared before you.
Merlin: (now very scared) How do you know that?! 😨
Stable boy 1: Everyone knows, they're telling it everywhere.
Merlin: WHAT?! 😱
Stable boy 2: Yeah, there's even a song about it.
Stable boys: (start dancing and singing in harmony)
🎶Ooooh!
In the woods a unicorn
Wandered around with his long horn
So lonely and without a friend
Until one day he sense a smell
It was the most exquisite smell
Of a beautiful young man
So pure in body and in heart
It was the Prince's manservant.
(Chorus)
The Unicorn Catcher
No one is more innocent than
The Unicorn Catcher
No beauty is more deadly than of
The unicorn catcher🎶
Merlin: Okay, I take it back. Now you must joking.
Stable boy 1: Wait, there's more! 😃
Stable boys: (singing and dancing)
🎶Marveled at the majestic creature
The man approached and he figured
That he could stroke his back
Afraid of scaring it, he does
The animal neighed with pleasure
Put his head closer without measure
Enchanted by the pure scent
He let him ride him on his back.
(Chorus)
The Unicorn Catcher
No one is more innocent than
The Unicorn Catcher
No beauty is more deadly than of
The unicorn catcher.🎶
Merlin: That never happened. 😒
Stable boy 2: Last stanza! 😄
Stable boys: (singing and dancing)
🎶The magical being was so attached
He follow his human friend in glee
The man told him, brokenhearted
Your home is in nature, not with me
They said goodbye, the servant went
Back to the castle, back to his prince.
The unicorn cried and he knew.
He'll never sense that smell again.🎶
Stable boy 1: (giving himself air with his hand,unshed tears in his eyes) Gods, I love the end. It always makes me emotional. 🤧
Satble boy 2: (puts an arm around Merlin) Don't worry, Merlin. While there are people who try to tarnish your name calling you maidman, there are very others that defend The Unicorn Catcher's honor til the end.
Stable boys: (throwing a fist in the air and shouting) Long live The Unicorn Catcher!
Merlin: ...
Stable boy 1: Merlin?
Stable boy 2: Unicorn Catcher?
Merlin: (composes himself and smiles at them) If you excuse me, I must go to the Prince inmediatly. (leaves at a furious pace)
Arthur trainning the knights in the Training field.
Arthur: Enough! What kind of sluggish reactions are that? Is this how you pretend to protect your kingdom? Your King and Prince? 😡
Sir Owain: Sire-
Arthur: Did I tell you you could talk? Silence!
Knights: (cower in place)
Arthur: You tend to forget who has the authority here. No one, listen to me, no one but the King is above me! And you dare to raise your voice at me? No body can disrespect the Prince!
Merlin: (arrives, yelling furious) Arthur! 😡
Arthur: What?! 😡 (turns and his face changes) Oh, Merlin. What is it?
Merlin: We need to talk.
Arthur: Alright. Once I finish-
Merlin: Now, Arthur. It's important.
Arthur: (pointing to the knights) Merlin, I'm in the middle of training. Whatever it is, I'm sure it can wait-
Merlin: NO! It cannot wait! 😡 What part of "it's important" you do not understand?! You think I would interrupt your training just because? Do you ever listen to anything I say?!
Arthur: (in shock) Uh... (Thinking) What's gotten into him?
Merlin: No, of course not. I'm just a servant after all. Why would my problems ever be important to you? Is not like you are the one who is a joke in the mouth of all Camelot!
Knights: (watching interested and amused the scene, murmuring between them)
Arthur: Alright, we'll talk. (makes a move to go to his knights)
Merlin: (stops Arthur by the arm) Where do you think you are going?! 😡
Arthur: I was just going to dismiss the knights-
Merlin: You dare to ignore me when this is all your fault?! Am I a joke to you too?! 😡
Arthur: (tries to calm him) Okay, I can see That you are upset-
Merlin: I AM NOT UPSET! 😤
Arthur: (sweats)
Sir Innprudence: (to Sir Owain, mockingly) Nobody can disrespect The Prince? 😏
Sir Owain: Shut up.
Merlin: (sighs) Never mind. Go back to your stupid training. (Makes a move to leave)
Arthur: No, no, no, wait! (Stops him by the arm) Look, I'm here, not moving. You have my full attention. Now tell me what is the problem and why do you think is my fault.
Merlin: Because it is! Thanks to you now everybody knows me as "The Maidman" and "The Unicorn Catcher"!
Arthur: ...
Arthur: (burst out laughing) Maidman? Unicorn Catcher?
Merlin: It's not funny! 😠
Arthur: (stops laughing) No, no. Of course is not. (Coughs) I mean, you do have some maid chores, but-
Merlin: It has nothing to do with that. "Maidman" is a very polite way to say I serve you in bed at nights and not to read you poetry precisly.
Arthur: Oh... (Turns to his knights) 😑
Knights: (scared, at the same time) We never called him that! I swear! 😰
Sir Innprudence: Yeah, it's mostly the visiting nobles who do that.
Merlin: Oh, but you do call me "Unicorn Catcher", don't you?
Arthur: Yeah, about that. Why "Unicorn Catcher"?
Merlin: (turns a bit red) Uhm... Well somehow they found out about the unicorn.
Arthur: I figured. But we didn't hunt or capture the unicorn, so where is the word "Catcher" coming from?
Merlin: It's a long story.
Sir Innprudence: It's not a story, it's a song! 😃
Knights: (start singing) 🎶 Oooh!-
Merlin: You keep up with that and I'll cut off your tongues! 😠
Knights: 🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐
Arthur: They did a song?
Merlin: That's not important. What's important is how did everyone find out!
Arthur: Well, the only ones that were there were you, me and...
Sir Innprudence and Sir Ewan: (looking very guilty)
Arthur: (notices) Something you want to confess? 😑
Sir Ewan: We didn't meant to, Sire.
Sir Innprudence: But we got drunk at a tavern and there were people talking very ill of your manservant.
Sir Ewan: Calling him things worse than "Maidman".
Sir Innprudence: So we defended your manservant's honor, but in the heat of the argument we might have let what happened with the unicorn slip.
Sir Ewan: And some minstrel heard it and decided to make a song inspired on the event.
Sir Innprudence: And since the song became so popular, every tavern began to play it, so...
Arthur: Now everyone knows about the unicorn. (Sighs) I still don't get the "Catcher" part though.
Merlin: It's not important.
Sir Innprudence: It's because he attracted the unicorn with his virgin smell, Sire.
Merlin: Innprudence! 😠
Arthur: (laughs)
Merlin: Stop laughing! This is serious! What if your father finds out? He probably already knows!
Arthur: I don't think my father cares about your chastity, Merlin.
Merlin: Not that part, you idiot! 😡 The unicorn part! He'll know I encountered a magical creature in our last hunt and that you let it escape!
Arthur: He won't believe you encountered a unicorn just because there's a song about it. Especially a tavern minstrel song. (To the knights, warnly) Because that's what it is. Right? Just a song. None of that happened.
Knights: Of course not, Sire.
Arthur: The training's canceled. You're dismissed.
Knights: (start leaving)
Arthur: Except Sir Ewan and Sir Innprudence.
Sir Ewan And Sir Innprudence: (stay while the others leave, nervous)
Arthur: For divulging confidential information, I send you to the dungeons indefinitily.
Sir Ewan And Sir Innprudence: (hung their head with shame) Yes, Sire.
Silence.
Arthur: So? What are you waiting for?
Sir Innprudence: (confused) Uh... We are waiting for you to call the guards, Sire.
Arthur: Don't you have legs?
Sir Ewan: Yes?
Arthur: Then go to the dungeons yourselfs. Just tell the jailer I sent you. And go straight ahead. If you dare to stray from the path or stretch the time I will know.
Sir Ewan: But Sire, that's quite...
Sir Innprudence: Embarrasing.
Arthur: That's part of the punishment. Now go.
Sir Ewan and Sir Innprudence: Yes, Sire 😞😞 (leave)
Arthur: (to Merlin) There, I solved it. 😊
Merlin: Solved what?
Arthur: I arrested the ones responsable for your predicament.
Merlin: And how arresting Sir Ewan and Sir Innprudence is going to stop people from believing I actually encountered a unicorn? In fact, with what you've done, you are just confirming that it happened! 😠
Arthur: ...
Arthur: Alright, I guess I can order for the song to be banned inmediatly.
Merlin: No! That's just going to make things worst.
Arthur: Then what do you want me to do?
Merlin: (lifting his arms, exasperated) Nothing, Arthur! 😡 You can't do nothing! (Leaves)
Arthur: (sighs) Well, at least he still calls me Arthur. (to a servant passing nearby) Hey! Do you know where I can hear "The Unicorn Catcher" song?
Time skip. In Gaius Tower. Merlin benting with Gaius.
Merlin: They even made a song. A song! Can you believe it? If I'm not a whore, then I'm a prude. Everyone especulates about my sex life like they don't have one theirselfs. And each rumor is always related to my relationship with Arthur. And he doesn't help! With his jokes about me being a girl and making everyone believe we actually have something. This is all Arthur's fault!
Gaius: I understand why you are so angry, my boy, but... Is it really all just Arthur's fault?
Merlin: ... What?
Gaius: I know you and Arthur are close and there's confidence between you two. But Arthur is still a Prince and sometimes you forget that. Yes, Arthur is at fault for favoring you too much, but that Arthur lets you push the limits doesn't mean you shouldn't have them.
Merlin: Arthur does not favor me.
Gaius: Yes he does, and you also abuse of that favor. Maybe not consciously, but you do. You proclaim you are nothing but his servant, but then you do things like complain to him in public. Infront of his Knights! You can't do things like that and expect people to believe there's nothing of other nature going on between you.
Merlin: So it's my fault then.
Gaius: I didn't say that.
Merlin: No, you're just saying people is right to think that way about me! That I given them very reason to!
Gaius: Why are so defensive, Merlin? You have never let what people say about you get to you before. From what Hunith told me, you've been called worst things back in Ealdor and you've never bother. Yet this particular comments about you and Arthur angers you to guts. Why?
Merlin: Because they talk without knowing! At least people in Ealdor weren't telling lies. I'm indeed a bastard. My mother had me out of marriage, that's true. They called freak. I could do magic since the day I was born and that's an anomaly in itself so that's true in a way too. Here my nicknames are based on falsehoods!
Gaius: So it's not that you hate what they're saying. You hate that what they are saying are lies
Merlin: Exactly!
Gaius: And why is that?
Merlin: What do you mean? Isn't that reason enough.
Gaius: Merlin, you don't hate rumors because they are lies. You hate them because they are not true.
Merlin: (backsaway due to the low blow) I... I don't know what you mean.
Gaius: Merlin-
Merlin: I have to go. "The Unicorn Catcher" has chores to do. (leaves)
Gaius: (sighs, to himself) He surely inherited your temper, Balinor.
Guard: (enters)
Gaius: Oh, how can I help you?
Guard: The King requests your presence at the throne room immediately.
...
CHAN CHAN CHAN! What do you think Uther wants to talk Gaius about?
And, yes, Merlin is being too insolent, but lets remember series 5 Merlin was way more insolent than series 1 Merlin and since this Arthur is more permisive with him he's taking more liberties than before and that might get him in trouble (spoiler?)
Did you like the unicorn catcher song? I'm sorry if it was to long, but I'm a theater kid I couldn't help myself.
Tell me in the comments ;)
#bbc merlin#merlin bbc#merlin#merthur#merlin fanfic#merlin fic#merlin prompt#merlin and arthur#merthur fic#arthur and merlin#merthur fanfiction#merthur fanfic#merthur prompt#Arthur and Merlin travel back in time without knowing the other is from the future too AU
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per request of (checks notes) two people….the premises of my interpretation of the plot of gideon the ninth vis a vis cytherea and john are as follows:
i. the actions taken by cytherea and john are not consistent with their stated motivations
ii. this is on purpose
iii. we can work backwards from these characters' actions to determine their real motivations
because i am a funny poster and because i love my followers i will explain further under a readmore. abandon all sanity ye who enter here etc.
why canaan house: john and john's motivations
while john does not appear "on screen" in gideon the ninth, his actions set the plot into motion and shape the conflicts the arise. (1)he sends letters to the scions of each house, requesting that they come to canaan house with their cavaliers and no one else. he does not request the leaders of each house, or the best necromancers of each house, or the most experienced. (2)he does not provide information of what the lyctorhood trials will entail, either in the initial letters or upon arrival at canaan house. (3)during the creation of the first lyctors, he did not inform anyone that the death of the cavalier is not necessary, and (4)he interfered in the ascension of anastasia/samael, (5) the pair who spent the longest studying the lyctorhood process and (6)who we can presume were closest to achieving "true lyctorhood," which we can presume is (7)more powerful than "normal lyctorhood" and (8)does not kill the cavalier.
(9)the stated purpose of the events at canaan house is to create new lyctors to replace those that have (really or apparently) died to the resurrection beasts. (10)john further states that he did not intend for any unwanted deaths; (11)that he intended for the necromancers and cavaliers to enter into lyctorhood willingly; and (12)that, if the necromancers and cavaliers decided not to enter into lyctorhood, he intended that they should have been allowed to leave peacefully. (13)we can presume he also intends that any new lyctors created would be loyal to him, or at least not a threat to him.
are these actions consistent for these motivations? in my correct opinion, they are not. the secrecy of what the lyctorhood trials entail and the choice of very young, competitive people as postulants do not lend themselves well to the postulants making wise, well-informed choices. if john wanted the postulants to enter into lyctorhood willingly, and leave peacefully if not, he could have informed them of what the trials and lyctorhood entail, encouraged cooperation between the houses, and stated explicitly that they could leave at any time.
one way to interpret this mismatch is that john was careless or negligent in how he set up the trials, which is possible but not consistent with his characterization otherwise. another interpretation is that john was not sincere in stated motivations 10-12, and that he rather set things up as he did to create uniquely easy to manipulate per 13, which both makes sense and is in character but is not consistent with his other actions.
why canaan house 2: cytherea and cytherea's motivations
while john shapes much of the plot of gideon the ninth, cytherea as the primary antagonist drives the plot more directly. (14)she kills dulcinea and adopts her identity to pose as a postulant in the lyctor trials, and she poorly reanimated protesilaus's corpse. (15)she presumably is responsible for disposing of the transports, stranding the postulants at canaan house. (16)she kills first the fifth house and the fourth house. (17) she prompts the ninth to complete the avulsion trial. (18)she attacks gideon, harrow, and camilla after being confronted by palamedes, but (19)repeatedly offers to spare gideon. (20)throughout her murder spree, she writes on the walls, questioning or criticizing john for the events of her own ascension. (21)she did not participate in dios apate and is not mentioned by mercymorn or augustine as being party to their conspiracy to kill john (i think...correct me if this is wrong!). (22) her identity is not revealed by teacher or the other constructs at canaan house, despite the fact that they presumably would recognize her. (23)she does not contact or encourage the other postulants to contact john or anyone else for help.
(24)cytherea states that her motivation is to sabotage the creation of new lyctors and (25)to draw john to the nine houses, putting himself and the nine house in danger from the resurrection beasts. (26)she strongly implies that this is in revenge for her cavalier or possibly all of the original cavaliers. (27)presumably, she also wants both to survive long enough to accomplish these aims, though (28)she does not seem to intend to survive for very long beyond the events at canaan house.
are these actions consistent with these motivations? again, in my correct opinion, they are not. she does not send a distress call to draw john to canaan house, and she does not encourage anyone else to do so. she kills jeannemary and magnus, even though killing isaac and abigail would prevent the fourth and fifth from ascending; while it could be argued that she would have had to kill magnus to protect her plan, but this isn't true of jeannemary's murder. she further lets other necro-cav pairs live, despite the fact this allows for the opportunity for them to ascend. her stated goals (24 and 25) could be well achieved by (a, for 25) killing (simply or gruesomely) all or most of the necromancers, while allowing the cavaliers to live, and/or (b, for 24) calling or encouraging someone else to call for help or otherwise alert someone that things have gone wrong; neither of these actions would contradict her other stated or implied motivations.
(as an aside: i think many people believe that cytherea killed the fifth first because she suspected they were likeliest to figure out her plan, which is possible but doesn't explain why she would kill the fourth next or why she wouldn't kill the sixth or third.)
one interpretation of this mismatch is that she planned sloppily or haphazardly. while this doesn't directly contradict anything we know about her, it doesn't make much sense to me -- i don't think anyone, let alone a very powerful and reasonably intelligent person, would half-ass a revenge/justice plot as their last hurrah, even if she did not have long to plan or if her plan changed upon realizing that gideon is john's daughter. another interpretation i've seen is that cytherea is simply sadistic and/or dramatic, and that her actions are motivated by a desire to make the postulants paranoid and afraid. i think this is on the right track, but doesn't itself explain everything she does (and the things she does not do).
why be perfect when you could be normal: the original lyctors and perfect lyctorhood
what is "perfect lyctorhood" and under what conditions does it occur? when i use the term "perfect lyctorhood," i'm referring to a situation where both the necromancer and the cavalier ascend to lyctorhood and share their newfound power; this is in contrast to what i'm calling "normal lyctorhood," wherein the necromancer kills and consumes the cavalier and uses them as a power source. in text, john and alecto are the only example we see of "true lyctorhood," while the other original lyctors (and ianthe) are "normal."
while the creation of the original lyctors is not thoroughly described in the text, we do know some details. it is strongly implied that (29)mercymorn and augustine, the first two lyctors, ascended under duress after their cavaliers forced their hands, presumably by killing themselves. much later, (30) anastasia and samael attempted to ascend after (5)spending a long time studying the process, but are (4)interrupted by john, who kills samael. (31)john states this he interfered because anastasia and samael had made a mistake. (32)at no point does john inform anyone that perfect lyctorhood is possible or that the cavaliers do not need to die.
i think it's reasonable to conclude that (33)very skilled necromancers, with strong bonds of mutual respect with their cavaliers, given the right resources (i.e. the trials at canaan house, or something equivalent, and sufficient time) could achieve perfect lyctorhood, or at least come close to it. (34)fear, pressure, and devaluation of the lives of cavaliers, on the other hand, push necromancers towards normal lyctorhood.
i think it's also reasonable to conclude that, in line with (13)his motivation to maintain power over the lyctors, john does not want perfect lyctors to be created, and that (4)his interference in the ascension of anastasia and samael was not because (31)they made a mistake but rather (35)to prevent them from achieving power that would rival his own.
connecting the red string
if john and cytherea's actions are not sufficiently explained by their stated motivations (or of them the motivations commonly attributed to them by fans), what motivations would explain their actions? because john (by asking for young people as postulants, and by being secretive about the lyctoral process, and by not stating that postulants could leave) and cytherea (by killing people, and by preventing people from leaving, and by generally encouraging competition and paranoia among the postulants) both created an environment of fear and pressure at canaan house, and because cytherea (by letting both necromancers and cavaliers live in other cases) john (by not providing a deadline, and by not forbidding or obscuring parts of the trials, and by not directly or indirectly supervising the trials) otherwise do nothing to prevent to an outcome that they does not want, i think we can draw the following conclusion: john and cytherea are both attempting to ensure that normal lyctors, and only normal lyctors, are created at canaan house.
in other words, i think john tasked cytherea with going to canaan house to put pressure on the postulants to ascend quickly and to prevent them from leaving alive if they were likely to not ascend. i think he did this because he did not want the postulants to become perfect lyctors, and because he did not want the secrets of lyctorhood to be known to the nine houses in general, and because he did not want to take responsibility for the deaths. i think cytherea likely did want revenge against john, and likely did not want to live beyond canaan house, but did not want to kill john; rather i think she wanted to be killed by john or by one of the new lyctors.
i think that tamsyn muir is a talented writer who has demonstrated an ability to create twisty, multi-layered plots where characters are often working on incorrect or incomplete information and where characters are often not forthcoming or are dishonest about their actions and motivations, and that therefore the mismatch between characters' actions and stated motivations are intentional. i think my conclusion sufficiently explains the actions taken (and not taken) by both cytherea and john in the gideon the ninth, and while it contradicts their stated motivations, i do not think it contradicts any of their actions or any of their demonstrated motivations. moreover i think it is consistent with their characterization in general: cytherea is dramatic and emotionally distraught over her own ascension, but she is not part of the plot against john, and she encourages gideon in her role as cavalier; john is very smart, and has few compunctions about doing horrible things to children (especially to maintain his own power), but does not want to be blamed for the things he does, and so often outsources the dirty work to his followers.
#gtn spoilers#htn spoilers#ntn spoilers#tlt#tlt meta#the locked tomb#etc etc etc#making this unrebloggable to maintain my reputation as a shitposter#cytherea the first#john gaius#<-idk why i bother when tumblr wont even let me search my own blog but oh well
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Right around the corner (3) - Azriel
LISTEN I CAN EXPLAIN if you've been here for a while now, you can expect this part. If not, may I present myself - hi, I'm Mai and I'm an angst queen bitch. Fourth part already on the way, don't worry!
(1), (2), (3), (4), (5)
Plot: the turth comes out, but in a way Azriel didn't expect.
Warnings: prepare tissues.
Azriel had taken his time to process the words, and in the meanwhile, he had received so many notes from his family that he had his hands full of small paper balls.
There were notes from Feyre updating him of the screaming match between Cassian and Rhysand, long texts from Mor promising him the house was a safe place for you and that he better hurry to bring you out. Even Amren had written a brief ‘I knew it, boy’ that had him more worried than before.
It wasn’t as if he didn’t want you to meet them. He loved his family like nothing else, and knew they would only be supportive and kind to his new status. Him being mated or not didn’t change the way they saw him, but part of him – the part that had felt rejection from his mother and his blood-family, was scared.
Azriel ended up sitting in the kitchen counter in front of you with a frown and a growing headache. Even though it was late and you had had a long day, you instantly noticed his mood.
“What’s wrong?”
It wasn’t unusual for Azriel to go quiet in your presence. You had learned by then that it didn’t mean you did something wrong. Most of the times, it was his insecurities popping up randomly in his mind, the troubles of the day dragging him away from you.
And through the years, you had learned that there was nothing else to do but to stay close to him and remind him that he was there. Right with you, and that you loved him.
Still, as you stared at him that night, you noticed it wasn’t the usual frown. He snuck glances at you and moved from the couch, where he was banned, to the kitchen. You left the bowl aside and stood in front of him, one arm extended so he could hold your hand.
“How do you know Feyre?” he asked, not taking your hand.
“Feyre as… the high lady?”
“Yeah. You greeted her the other day. You two know each other?”
“Guess so. She has her art study right in front of my bakery, haven’t you noticed?” you answered, not understanding the nature of the question. “When she moved in, I baked her a welcome to the neighborhood pie and she has actually painted two of the pictures I hang on the wall”
“Feyre painted pictures for you?” Azriel raised an eyebrow. “Are you two friends?”
“Well, not friends per say, but we know each other. That’s what usually happens when you work in front of someone else’s work” you shrugged, you open hand still empty. “Why?”
“I didn’t know you knew her”
“Should you know I know her? For any specific reason?”
“It would have been nice to know you know my high lady. My brother’s mate”
“Now you know. What’s with all this ‘you know I know’? Why does it matter?”
You didn’t understand why but there was an annoyed edge on his voice that you didn’t like. As a morning person, you usually went to bed early, and any minute past midnight was a minute you were supposed to be asleep. No matter how nice it was to spend time with Azriel and how good he had made you feel an hour ago, now you were annoyed.
The male stared at you, still not answering your silent call for his hand. One of his many shadows crossed the table and jumped at the chance of tangling between your fingers. That would have been enough to make you laugh any other day.
That night, you just stared at each other.
“Az, why are you so – “
“Because you should have told me, Y/N” he cut you off. “You know how important my family is to me, and I think it’s fair to ask that if you know any of them you should tell me. So I’m prepared for this”
“What’s this exactly? Late night discoveries about my neighbors?”
Azriel was quiet for a moment, frustration clear in his features. It was a stupid argument over a stupid situation, and Azriel being on his underwear and you only on his t-shirt without panties didn’t make it any less stupid. You rarely argued, and when you did, it was you who had the pointless argument and Azriel the calm one.
His shadows moved behind the couch and dumped in front of you a bunch of papers. They were all wrinkled and Azriel didn’t have time to hide them or think about how to approach the situation before a new one popped out of thin air. It landed next to your open hand, his shadow catching it and unfolding the content.
Does she eat cereal straight from the box? Is it why you’re hiding her?
You didn’t need to think hard to know it was talking about you, and who the note belonged to. In the past, Rhysand had sent notes to Azriel while you were having a shower together, in bed together, and one had even appeared inside your oven while he was helping you around.
“Feyre told them about you” Azriel explained, having read the note upside down. “And because I didn’t know you knew her, now they are deeply offended and want to meet you”
It took you a while to make sense to his words, because you couldn’t find the problem past you not telling him about Feyre. Quickly, you read some of the notes where Cassian threatened Azriel and Rhysand demanded his presence. They were friendly notes, no harm in them. Still, you couldn’t understand the utter sadness until you realized the meaning behind his annoyance.
Finally, you pulled your hand back to your side, not with little resistance from the shadow. You must have opened the bond channel because Azriel frowned, hit with sadness instead of the usual love.
The first note, where Rhysand explained that Feyre had told him, was what brought it all together.
“You haven’t told them you have a mate”
It occurred to you that you had believed it done with no proofs. You didn’t mind Azriel being at your house, living in your apartment. You didn’t mind having separate Starfall and lives. You didn’t mind either when he left for a family dinner and kissed you goodbye, because you understood his need of privacy, of having something that was just his.
What you didn’t understand until that moment that he hadn’t even told them you existed. And through all the reasons that ran to your mind at his silence, you couldn’t pick just one.
“It’s not that they don’t know me. They don’t know you’re mated”
“You agreed when I said I need to take things slowly. That I needed time” he blurted out suddenly, your sadness making space for his annoyance. “The bond was a surprise for me. I didn’t want to rush things”
“Azriel it’s been six years. Six! It’s not a casual fling or a one-night stand” you tried to voice your hurt, your sadness. “It’s not the same not meeting them that being a secret”
“It’s not like I keep you a secret. They haven’t asked and I haven’t – “
“Because you haven’t told them! What – How do you explain the days you spend here? And the… I – Azriel, we’ve been dating for six years and they haven’t asked?”
“They’re used to me sneaking around”
“For months?” you chuckled. “We were locked here for months after we mated. How did you explain that?”
His words were background noise because, above his absences, there was something you realized they should have noticed. Something anyone noticed from mated pairs as soon as they left the house. White noise filled your ears as he tried to excuse himself by talking about missions.
About your safety, about the worry of something happening to you if they discovered you were his mate.
Azriel blurred in front of you as realization hit you and tears filled your eyes. You could barely hold it together as you spoke.
“You’ve been hiding the mating bond” your breath hitched, because if there was something more important than your bakery, it was your bond. “They should have smelt it. But you’ve been hiding it”
“I didn’t hide it, please, don’t say it like that” his voice broke at the end, willing you to listen to him.
“Right. Because you can’t hide the bond from them unless you don’t accept it” you saw the moment your words hit him, the guilt in the way his shadows almost clouded your vision and his wings flared. “You didn’t accept the bond”
Azriel didn’t answer and, worse than any other betrayal or pain, it broke your heart. You remembered offering him the lemon pie, him tearing up and eating. Accepting the bond was an individual decision, one he should have made years ago – just like you did.
You still shared it; you still were mates. The only difference was that, while you proudly loved him and adored each part of his body and soul, he had rejected your smell on him, your imprint on his own.
An invisible hand cut off your air supply and your breath hitched. You covered your mouth with your hand and muffled the sob, but he felt the exact moment your heart broke. Even if he didn’t show it to the world, he could still feel you. Your feelings, your essence. His own eyes teared up and now he extended his hand forward.
A silent invitation, the same you had given him so many times when he was in need of comfort, of love.
But that time, you didn’t reach forward nor acknowledge the shadows that tried to pull you closer to him.
“Get out”
“Darling”
“Get out” you pointed a shaky finger towards the door.
“Y/N, please. It’s not what you’re thinking” he tried to explain, his voice broken by his sorrow. “I accepted the bond. I just – “
“Get the fuck out now!”
The bowl that you had been filling with lettuce, salmon and other vegetables flew from the desk to where he was standing. His shadows, by their own consciousness or his master’s, didn’t stop it as it crashed against his chest. It spilled all over his naked chest, and before he could clean it, there was another tray with grilled pork on your hand.
Azriel’s last look to you was of pure despair and sorrow. He winnowed away before the second tray could hit him, leaving you with his shadows already cleaning up the mess.
As soon as he was out of sight, you fell down to your knees and sobbed.
-
He didn’t have a plan, and when he winnowed away, the last thing on his mind was the sound of your heart breaking. There was no way he would go to his house and face his family, not when he wasn’t even sure what had happened in your apartment. Couldn’t start to comprehend the pain he had caused you and how much he hated himself for it.
So, without planning to, he ended up in the cabin.
The old wooden walls and ceiling greeted him, different from the ones he remembered from his past. Feyre had added drawings everywhere, there were clothes scattered around, and food that was still edible.
No matter how familiar the sight was, it offered him no comfort.
Azriel dragged his wings through the floor and sat on the couch. Propping his elbows on his knees, he hid his face as the first tear rolled down. Followed by many more.
He replayed your hurt voice once more, your face. It hadn’t been his intention to reject the bond, not really. But he hadn’t run away from it.
It took him two weeks of uncertainty to know that he hadn’t taken it the way you had. While you radiated with his scent, people didn’t ask him. He walked past Cassian during training and his friend just teased him for being disappeared for a month. Rhysand commented about having to report to him every now and then, and Amren didn’t even acknowledge his presence.
That was how he discovered that he had to accept his part of the mating process. He had to be proud, to want it, in order to complete it.
But you had been so happy, so full of joy and love, that Azriel had feared that telling you about it would make you sad. Eventually, he had learned how he should have done it – but at that moment, he didn’t know. Besides, he could still sneak whenever he wanted to without explanations. So he hadn’t said anything.
The first year rolled by, and he spent a good amount of days panicking about how to deal with the situation. The second year passed and you didn’t ask about it, neither did his family. By the fourth year, he had almost forgotten about it.
Azriel’s loud sob broke the silence of the cabin. His chest contracted and his body shock. It was different from any type of suffering, of pain, he had ever felt. He could still feel the echo of your own through the bond, could hear your cries in the distance.
In the lonely cabin, under the moon light, the shadowsinger sobbed and cried until his voice was raw. He was angry at himself, at his past and his traumas, even angry at you. Because now that he knew what it felt to be complete, to be happy and safe in someone’s love, he couldn’t bear the thought of not having it.
His body gravitated to the side and he curled himself in a ball, still in his underwear. It reminded him of when he was a kid and would try to hide himself in the dark cell, cowering in his fear and desperation.
As if he was a kid all over again, Azriel let his wings cover his body and cried. Cried until he couldn’t remember his name, until he was begging the Cauldron to turn back time and let him accept the bond. Carry you on his arm around Velaris and don’t let the fear take control of his life.
He felt like punching a hole through the wall. Like flying thousand feet up and letting go in free fall. Maybe get into a bar fight and let everything out. But his body was anchored to that couch, to that pain. Azriel pressed his closed fists into his chest, trying to relief some of the pressure.
While he wondered if that was what having his heart ripped from his chest fell, he forgot to keep his mental shields up.
Letting Rhysand in.
-
The house of wind had been chaos for a few hours.
Rhysand had tried to manage the situation by himself, wide awake in bed while processing Feyre’s words. He willed himself to sleep, to rest and leave the pondering for the morning. But when he tried to close his eyes, he could see Azriel covered in blood and killing an entire camp because an illegal wing clipping. He could notice the faint, new smell in the house that he hadn’t noticed.
If he had his eyes open, he couldn’t help but look at Nyx’s new toy.
So, Rhysand had woken up Cassian, after Azriel hadn’t answered his notes. And Cassian had been mad. Angry, furious, raging. The general had talked nonsense about berries for a while and then he begged Rhysand to wake up Feyre and find Azriel to interrogate them.
And, who was the high lord to deny a late-night gossiping session?
Feyre had been mad but she had told them that Azriel had a mate that worked in front of her art studio, in a bakery. That you were nice and cheerful, that you had been mated for six years.
That was when Cassian lost it and woke up the whole house.
Now, all the members of the inner circle had gathered in the council room with their pajamas on.
“Maybe it’s not true. Feyre, you might have had imagined it”
“Are you calling me a liar?” Feyre raised her eyebrows at Cassian.
“I’m just saying he would have told me! We’re brothers. And we don’t keep secrets in this house. Never.”
“You don’t keep secrets” Amren cut him off, not looking at him. “Your bean brain is too simple to keep any type of secrets from us, but that doesn’t mean all of us are exhibitionist”
“I’m not – “
“You are an exhibitionist. You announce everything, Cas. Even a fart” Mor corrected him before he could defend himself.
“Sorry for being kind enough to not keep secrets from my family” he frowned, turning to look at Rhys. “You keep secrets from me?”
“I don’t keep secrets from you” Rhys assured him, half a smile.
“He threw the sword you gifted Nyx for his birth and told you Bryaxis took it so you wouldn’t look for it”
Feyre looked at her mate with a raised eyebrow, daring him to say anything else. With a wide-awake Nyx in her arms, she looked at threatening as the Hybern army. She had yet to talk to him privately, but Rhysand knew he was up for a long talk. So he bit his lip and turned to Cassian. Who, of course, looked completely broken and defeated.
The rest of the group was silent, barely keeping their smiles to themselves. Even Nesta, who had a hand on his shoulder, was looking at Feyre with approval. Cassian stared at Rhysand for a long second before he talked.
“It was a nice sword”
“For a teenager, maybe. For a baby, not” Feyre answered again. “Weren’t you just talking about Azriel’s betrayal and secrets?”
“I, for one, knew he was hiding something” Amren commented for the third time. “Just saying I noticed. And you didn’t”
“Not all of us are creeps that stare and don’t talk. We have social lives to take care of” Mor said.
“Some of you do talk. Maybe too much”
Rhysand tuned out Amren and Mor argument when he felt a crack through Azriel’s mental barriers. He had been tugging at them softly to know where his brother was. Feyre had talked him out of the idea of barging in uninvited and demanding answers – at least, he had talked Amren and Mor out of it. Rhysand and Cassian were still unconvinced.
That was why he had kept a talon poking at his mental barriers since the argument started, thinking it wouldn’t be successful.
But then, Azriel opened it unconsciously and Rhysand brought a hand up to his chest.
Everyone fell quiet as the high lord scrunched his eyebrows and pressed his lips together, not ready for the wave of emotions and pain Azriel was feeling at the moment.
Feyre’s hand was instantly on him, Nyx looking up to his father with a pout that would surely turn into a crying session soon. Before the baby could start crying or any of his friends could ask him about it, Rhysand accepted Feyre’s help and got up from his chair.
“He’s at the cabin” he announced, already summoning his darkness to swallow Cassian and him there. “We’ll keep you updated”
Nyx’s loud cry was the last thing they heard as they winnowed away. And the first one they heard from the cabin, was Azriel’s broken one.
Want to read more? Check out my side blog @imaginesmaimasterlists, where I keep all the masterlists! Feedback is always appreciated
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Renarin Ranks Starting Places For New Readers of the Cosmere Series
"Renarin ranks something" requested by @themoonstonechronicler :)
Fans often argue about where new readers should start in the Cosmere: which book is the best starting place? In this list, Renarin will rank various options. Because if any character can break the fourth wall, it's either Hoid (of course) or Renarin with his funky corrupted Future Sight.
[Contains Stormlight Spoilers through Rhythm of War!]
1. Way of Kings
"Starting with Way of Kings is like jumping into a 4 versus 1 Shardblade duel armed with a sword that screams when you touch it after a lifetime of not really being allowed to train in real combat scenarios due to your blood weakness. Will you be in over your head? Yes. Might the experience harm you? Very possibly. Will Kaladin's presence save you? Absolutely. Is it a bad idea? Objectively yes. BUT does this choice make you inherently cool? I think so. At least, I have no regrets."
...
"Make that very few regrets."
"I give this an 8/10."
2. Elantris
"Listen...I get it. You want to start from the beginning. Proceed chronologically. I think my cousin Jasnah would be inclined toward this. But speaking as a 'funky time guy,' as Adolin called me once, I have to say that the past doesn't necessarily predict the future and uh...this one just might be a little tough to start with. In my opinion."
"4/10."
3. Tress of the Emerald Sea
"I think...I think I like Wit. Mostly. There was that one time he tried to make everyone think I was hooking up with, like, multiple women at once, which was...weird. But he also made fun of me. Which does not sound good, but it meant he respected me in a Wit way. In any event, this book is like sitting and listening to Wit for hours. Is it good if that is the first thing you ever do? Maybe? The little rat is cute."
"9/10."
4. Yumi and the Nightmare Painter
"This one is Wit too. Just to get that out of the way. And I think it might be a little bit confusing for a first-time reader since it is clearly being told to a Rosharan, which is not something a new reader would understand."
"But on the other hand, it is maybe...refreshing to have a main character who hasn't yet realized what he's good at, and another main character who hasn't yet realized that not all aspects of her religion should restrict her as much as they do."
"So a confusing place to start, but not necessarily a bad one."
"6/10."
5. The Emperor's Soul
"This one is short! That might be good for someone who is looking for less of a commitment. Plus, it involves a lot of research into how things work, if that appeals to you. But I think the real benefit is that if someone is reading it to you, it would probably only take a few hours."
"10/10."
6. The Sunlit Man
"This book is like seeing into the future, since it is literally about the future. It's also very painful. Which, in my experience, the future often is. The future can be changed...but not in this case, because now it's written down. So I would say: start here at your own risk. On the other hand, it will probably seem less sad if you read it without any backstory. But it will make other things sadder later, trust me."
"3/10."
7. White Sand
"This one can be good if you're a man, since there are a lot of pictures. There are also a lot of words, of course, but if you're just starting out on the reading thing, then having the pictures would help a lot I'd imagine."
"6/10."
8. Warbreaker
"Speaking as someone who...well, I can't say that I deliberately make dramatic reveals, but I have been known to do things like scrawl warnings on a wall or appear suddenly from the shadows or, you know, stuff like that. So I might actually recommend reading this before you read our books, just so you can have those, 'Wait, it's YOU!' moments over and over again."
"Seriously, why did so many of those characters end up in our series?"
"I'm not answering the question, though. This one is standalone, and not too long, yet still manages to have a pretty big cast of characters and a bunch of storylines. It is like Sanderson training."
"8/10."
9. The Final Empire
"This is what everyone always tells you to do. Sometimes it can get frustrating when everyone is SO SURE that they know what's good for you, especially your dad, who won't listen when you tell him that you don't want to become an ardent even though he thinks it's the best. And you know what? In the end, I am a fighter, but also a scholar, since men can do both now. So sometimes what people say is good, but only when it happens in the way you want it to and...I think I lost the thread. Um. You can do what people tell you that you should do IF you want to. "
"If you start here, I imagine you'll like it. Sometimes what everyone tells you to do is a good idea...but only if it's what you want too."
"9/10."
10. The Alloy of Law
"Starting with Mistborn Era 2 is like bonding a corrupt spren. It's almost what everyone agrees is a good thing to do (start with Mistborn / bond a spren), only you're going about it in a...different way. But different is not necessarily bad! Yes, I have abilities that are maybe from Odium and that give me a maybe sacrilegious ability to foretell the future...but when given the chance, I immediately recommended my best friend do the same thing."
"Being different can be good. 7/10."
#cosmere#cosmerelists#Renarin#Stormlight Archive#Mistborn#Elantris#Tress of the emerald sea#Yumi and the nightmare painter#the sunlit man#warbreaker#the emperor's soul
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INTIMACY
word count: 3.2k
pairing: paige bueckers x reader
⚠️warnings⚠️
explicit smut, internalized homophobia, light angst
prompts:
you and paige having “platonic” life-altering sex, and her finally realizing her feelings and then pinning you against the wall and having actual romantic life-altering sex
5 + 1: 5 times you and paige hooked up “platonically”, and 1 time it was decidedly not platonic
best friends to lovers
miscommunication (maybe just bad communication)
1:
The first time that you kissed Paige Bueckers was all because of a silly conversation had at a ridiculously late hour during your 13th birthday sleepover. You were giggling over the fact that you were grown up enough to have boyfriends, and blushing over what you could do with them.
Hardly daring to say it, you’d whispered to Paige in the dark that you were scared to kiss a boy because you’d never done it before, and she’d asked if you were scared to kiss her. She’d explained that she wasn’t scared to kiss you because you were her friend, and even though your heart was beating out of your chest, you’d agreed.
Eyes wide, you and Paige had scooted closer to each other, your lips barely touching before you’d both pulled away, laughing. Once you’d calmed down, you tried again, getting comfortable with little pecks on the lips. You continued this throughout the night, and when Paige kissed you good morning, it became a part of your friendship. After that night, you realized some things:
1. Kissing was actually fun (not gross, like you’d been led to believe)
2. Paige was good at kissing (you had no evidence for this, but she made it fun and that had to be the point)
3. Girls definitely made you feel the same butterflies in your stomach as boys did (this was pretty shocking, so you chose to keep that to yourself)
You didn’t know what it was at that point, but that was when you figured out that you were bisexual. You always wondered if Paige felt anything from the kisses, but dismissed your thoughts as she clearly didn’t think kissing meant anything.
2:
The first time you made out with Paige Bueckers was two years later, but it led to a an earth-shattering fourth realization:
4. You liked Paige, like a lot, like you wanted to do a lot more with her than kissing (this was extremely shocking, and you resolved never to tell anyone, especially not her)
You were 15 years old, both slightly tipsy at your first high school party. Wanting to seem cool, you’d agreed to play Truth or Dare with the popular kids. Paige picked dare, of course, and you didn’t like the looks that passed over the two of you as the boy that had asked Paige dared her to kiss you for a full minute.
You planned to just press your lips together to hers, hoping that you wouldn’t run out of air somehow, but Paige apparently had other ideas. Within seconds, she was moving her lips confidently, and you were shocked to your core when you felt her tongue dart into your mouth.
Even though Paige had started it, you were terrified that she would know how you felt when you kissed back. She didn’t, of course, and you were only slightly devastated when she pulled away after someone announced that the minute was up.
You made out again in the back of Paige’s dad’s car on the drive home, and it started a tradition of making out drunk at parties. It never meant anything, of course, but you touched yourself to the memories many times after that, always feeling immensely guilty, but never enough to stop.
3:
When you were 17, something shifted in your relationship on a random night. You and Paige were laying in her bed (you were sleeping over at her house), marvelling at being able to do whatever you wanted because her family wasn’t home.
By now, you’d both had a couple of boyfriends, but you never did anything more than kissing because (this took you a while to admit to yourself) you wanted Paige, not them. Your conversation had lapsed into silence, and Paige, emboldened by a confidence that only comes in the darkness, had asked you a decidedly intrusive question.
She asked you what you thought about when you masturbated, and you’d panicked and named a boy that you supposed you thought was hot, not being able to give Paige the real answer (her). You’d quickly turned the question on her, and she’d blushed profusely and mumbled her boyfriend’s name.
Feeling jealous, you’d asked if he’d ever touched her, and she quietly confessed that he had, but had never made her finish. You should’ve expected her to ask you the same thing, but it still caught you off guard when she did.
Taking your silence as embarrassment, Paige had reassured you that it would happen soon and that you didn’t need to be nervous. Then she asked if she could touch you, maintaining that it would be best not to be surprised and react weirdly when a boy eventually did.
You were shocked at the casualness of her words and reminded her that she had a boyfriend, but she reassured you that doing stuff with girls didn’t count. Too hopeful to fully grasp the meaning of her words, you’d agreed and asked to touch her, too, your shaking hands in stark contrast to her slow, assured ones.
Before you knew it, Paige Bueckers became the first person other than yourself to give you an orgasm, and without even putting her fingers inside you (you didn’t want to think about how you’d dreamed about this moment in slightly different circumstances). She confessed after that she’d never made herself feel like that, meaning that you gave her her first ever orgasm (you definitely didn’t want to put too much value into it, but your brain was going absolutely haywire).
Once again, you never talked about it after, even when Paige broke up with her boyfriend a few weeks later. You didn’t want to make anything weird, so you pretended to forget all about it.
4:
You don’t really remember the first time that you and Paige had sex because you were really fucked up. You were 19 at a UConn party after one of Paige’s games, and of course everyone was throwing themselves at her.
You’d started doing shots to numb the jealousy, but Paige had quickly found you and insisted on joining you like her stupid, endearing, ride or die self.
She’d asked if you wanted to smoke with her, and of course you’d agreed. You’d shotgunned, which had turned into making out, but you did it regularly enough that it barely phased you anymore.
You’d started to feel it all hit you, so you’d told her to go back to the party while you tried to find somewhere to sit and sober up a bit, settling on an empty bedroom.
Paige had come in to check on you, because of course she had, and once she’d sat down on the bed to rub your back, you finally had the courage to kiss her first.
You’d woken up in the morning with a pounding headache and a pit in your stomach as memories came back to you in disjointed images.
You remembered pushing Paige onto the bed and tangling your hands in her hair, giggling as her hands found their way under your dress. It got a bit fuzzy after that, but you had a very clear memory of your head between Paige’s legs as you pumped your fingers in and out of her.
You’d shifted and felt a pleasant soreness between your own legs, your jaw dropping as you realized that she must have done the same to you. You were upset that you couldn’t remember it, but also shocked that things had actually gone that far.
Finally registering your surroundings, you’d seen Paige, dressed only in her underwear, passed out beside you in the bed at the frat house where the party had been. Fixing your dress, you’d shaken her awake so that you could both leave.
Paige had been groggy as she put her clothes on, but she’d been awake enough to smirk that you two had a fun night. You weren’t sure what to feel anymore, so you’d just nodded, staying silent on the walk to your dorm.
When you didn’t speak of it again, you almost convinced yourself that it didn’t hurt anymore.
5:
Your last straw was after you and Paige had sex sober. Thinking back, you often wondered how you’d let it happen, but there was no sense lying to yourself. You would always take whatever Paige was willing to give you.
You’d been roommates at UConn for over two years, and despite your complicated feelings, it had been good most of the time. Until Paige had walked into your bedroom and ruined everything.
She’d flopped onto your bed (as she often did), but instead of discussing any topic appropriate for best friends (you were really starting to hate the term), she’d point-blank asked to you to finger her. Nothing Paige Bueckers had ever said shocked you as much as those words coming out of her mouth, so you’d sat in silence as she shamelessly explained that she was really horny and that you’d been really good at it at the party (that you still tried not to think about).
You couldn’t believe that she would bring it up so casually after not speaking of it for almost a year, so you’d assumed that she was joking. Deciding to just go with whatever this bit was, you’d agreed to do it after you finished an important assignment. You expected her to leave soon after, now that the joke was made, but she stayed firmly planted on your bed, and you could feel her staring at your back.
You weren’t sure what to do once you’d finished your assignment, but seeing no other choice, you’d slowly turned around to ask Paige what the hell was going on. Your words had died on your lips as you’d seen how she was laying on your bed, biting her lip as she’d started at you with her legs spread wide.
All she’d needed to do was shift her hips slightly and you’d given in. You’d walked to sit down on your bed, surprised when Paige pulled you into a heated kiss. You’d barely even had time to register that this was the first time you’d made out sober because Paige had ground her hips up against you as she lifted them to take off the basketball shorts she’d been wearing.
You’d tried to take off her panties, but she’d stopped you, so you rubbed her clit through them. Paige was grinding against you urgently, so you’d slid them to the side, plunging a finger into her when you found her dripping wet.
Still locked in the kiss, you’d been surprised to feel Paige clench around your fingers as she came quickly.
You were distracted enough (worrying about the consequences of this latest activity) that Paige was able to wrap her legs around your waist and flip you over onto your back. She was already pulling your sweats off when you’d recovered enough from your surprise to ask what she was doing.
Paige, looking confused, had straddled you and replied that she was returning the favour. You’d like to think that you would’ve been smarter if she hadn’t been rocking her hips against yours, but your only thought in that moment had been that if this was going to ruin the friendship, you at least deserved an orgasm after everything she’d put you through.
Once again, inexplicably, Paige had joined your lips together as she’d slid a hand under your panties (she left them on) to brush over your clit. You’d lost yourself in the feeling of her fingers in your pussy, only opening your eyes when Paige’s lips had left yours. In a sight that was burned into your memory forever, you’d watched her shuffle down the bed and lower her mouth to suck on your clothed clit.
Paige’s fingers were still inside you, and when she’d looked up with her mouth on your clit, you came just from the look in her eyes. It was one of the best orgasms of your life, but as Paige had collapsed onto your chest with a satisfied smile, you’d realized that you couldn’t go through all of this again.
+ 1:
When you’d woken up the next morning, Paige was still sleeping on you, and you’d wanted so badly to confess. Looking down at her beautiful sleeping face, you’d gently shaken her awake. You’d noticed a fearful look in her eyes as she’d quickly sat up and pushed you away. Paige had opened and closed her mouth like she was going to say something, but then she’d turned and ran out of your dorm.
She’d apparently been staying with one of her teammates, but you didn’t know because you hadn’t spoken to her for days. You’d already cried so hard that you’d given yourself a headache, so you didn’t go to class. You were curled up in a kitchen chair drinking tea when the door was thrown open to reveal Paige.
You raised an eyebrow, trying to appear indifferent. “Why are you back?”
“Why aren’t you in class? I didn’t think you’d be here,” Paige said evasively.
“I didn’t feel like going,” you mumbled, suddenly conscious of your puffy eyes.
Paige stepped tentatively into the room and took a deep breath. “I really thought I was gonna have more time to figure out how I was gonna do this, but I guess it’s happening now. I’m so sorry for everything. Nika and Azzi helped me realize how confusing it all must have been for you, and it’s all my fault. I think I just didn’t let myself think I could have anything more than platonic feelings for girls, and then by the time I did, it was already so messed up with us.”
She bit her lip. “I told myself it would be fine because I was scared talk to you, and even more scared to lose you.” Her voice wobbled on the last confession.
Despite everything you’d done with each other, Paige had never been this vulnerable with you. Once again, Paige Bueckers had managed to leave you speechless.
“That’s not an excuse, and I’ve probably ruined this — us — forever, but I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry,” she finished, eyes glued to the floor.
You stood up and walked towards her. “It’s my fault, too. I should’ve said something earlier but I was scared to lose you, too. I’m s-” you started to apologize too, but Paige surged forward to kiss you.
You could feel the passion of years of repressed feelings pouring out as she wrapped her arms around your neck. The sound of the door slamming made you both jump, but Paige quickly pushed you back, pinning you to the wall with her arms on either side of your head.
You’d never kissed Paige like this, and it was everything you’d been missing. She grabbed your thighs and picked you up, easily carrying you to her bed. “I will never be able to tell you how sorry I am,” Paige apologized again as she gently laid you down.
“Why don’t you show me, then?” You whispered, still not completely sure that this wasn’t a dream. Paige stripped off her shirt and your breath caught at the sight of her abs. She squeezed your hips to get you to lift them as she took off your pants, kissing all the way down your legs.
“I want to see you. Take everything off,” you mumbled, still fearing rejection.
“Anything you want,” Paige breathed as she pulled her sportsbra over her head. Somehow, this was the first time that you’d seen her shirtless in years, and you were not disappointed. Tearing your eyes away, you unclipped your own bra as Paige pulled off her pants. She climbed back on top of you after you took off your panties.
This was the first time that you’d been completely naked in front of each other. “You’re so beautiful,” you said adoringly, and Paige was quick to slot your lips together. You were both rolling your hips trying to get friction, so Paige moved one of your legs over hers so your pussies could slide against each other.
You were both moaning as you found a rhythm that had your clits rubbing together. Paige’s hands were tangled in your hair, and you brought your hands up to play with her tits, rolling her nipples between your fingers. The pace of your hips increased, your kisses getting sloppier as you both focused on chasing your pleasure. You came first, and the stutter of your hips was enough to send Paige over the edge as well. You locked eyes, panting into each other’s mouths.
Barely giving you time to recover, Paige’s fingers were on you again, her thumb pressing on your abused clit. Your lips were nearly bleeding from how hard you were biting them as you tried not to scream. “It’s okay, you’re okay,” Paige said soothingly, kissing your clit. She easily slid two fingers inside you, pumping them slowly. You’d calmed down enough from your first orgasm that it was just teasing you more.
“Faster, Paige, please,” you whimpered. Paige instantly complied, starting to attack your clit with her mouth. You were grinding as you fucked yourself on her fingers, and she was letting you, her tongue still managing to stimulate your clit. Paige’s fingers curled just the right way and soon you were holding her head between your thighs as you came again.
Paige faced you, laying down on her side, and you held eye contact with her as you sucked your juices from her fingers.
“My turn,” you smirked, lightly pushing Paige onto her back to climb on top of her. Her face was flushed and her lips were slick with spit and your juices. You wanted to devour her. Leaning down to kiss Paige hungrily, your wet pussy slid against her abs and you moaned into her mouth.
You took the time to do the things you’d always wanted to do — biting her lips, sucking on her tits, leaving hickeys all over her body. Paige squeezed her legs shut as she writhed under your touch, so you pulled them apart, excited when you saw how wet she was.
“Need you,” Paige whined unexpectedly. Not wanting to deny her pleasure, you used your tongue to spread her wetness. You started to tease her clit with your fingers as you pushed your tongue inside her. Paige was squirming so much that you had to grab her thighs to keep her still.
You kept going until she was screaming that she was close, quickly replacing your tongue with your fingers as your mouth closed around her swollen clit. Paige grabbed the hand that was still on her thigh, squeezing it as she came. Her hips bucked wildly as she moaned your name like a prayer.
You were careful to be as gentle as possible as you went to lay down beside her. Paige was still too out of breath to speak, her body twitching with aftershocks of her orgasm. “So that meant something to you?” You felt the need to ask, turning to make eye contact with her.
She was already looking at you tenderly. “Of course it did… that you’re my girlfriend now, if that’s something you’d want,” she said nervously.
You couldn’t help but smile as you pecked her swollen lips. “Of course I want that, if it’s something you want,” you mirrored her words.
Paige was smiling now, too. “Shut up, you’re not funny!”
“I’m funnier than you, at least,” you retorted as you pressed yourself against her body.
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2024.10.16
Complete fics posted on AO3 this day
1. Claiming Harry by @spicyfirenoodles [E, 83k, series]
Harry starts accepting his place. Draco wants more.
2. Dare Me by Devious_Muffin [E, 3k]
A mysterious hole suddenly pops up in the wall of a stall in the Fourth-Floor boys loo, and the castle is abuzz with curiosity. Harry tries to resist, but he has questions that demand answers, and he gets far more than he expected.
3. down low by @thisisformyfanfiction [E, 1k]
While drunk, Harry takes a chance in a club and decides to test out a glory hole.
4. Invited into Velvet Red by Ace_Phoenix [E, 2k]
Draco lost a gift he was meaning to give to Harry, and while looking for it in their bedroom, he found a similar looking velvet red box in Harry's bedside table, the contents of which confused him thoroughly at first.
5. It’s been seven hours and (fucking) fifteen days by Mimouche4 [M, 1k]
I always thought I had a handle on things, you know? That I could walk away from whatever it was we had. That I’d simply turn my back and carry on with my life, unfazed and indifferent.
6. Pub Nights and Unexpected Conversations by @kaymardsa [T, 2k]
Harry is at the pub. Draco walks in.
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Fest/Exchange
1. What Doesn't Happen in Venice Stays In ... by Anonymous [E, 13k]
After a whirlwind year of dating, Harry and Draco are getting married. Never mind that their friends and every reader of the Daily Prophet disapprove of their being together. But ignoring all of them, they believe in each other. Draco, on his part, gleefully takes on planning their honeymoon. The week they were to spend in Venice was scheduled down to the hour. It was perfect, according to Draco. But we all know what happens to the best laid plans. Will their marriage survive the first day? Will friendships with others ever recover? Will there be a happy ending? Of course, there will be but hold on for the ride. ★ 2024 H/D Muggle Fair | @hd-fan-fair
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