#FicMasGothic: the end never comes

[goldeneyedgirl]

TwiFicMas Redux: NYE Edition

STL Alice is being a reluctant brat in telling me what she wants to say, so instead of a surprise chapter, I bring you... more of The Unexpected Second Life of Mary Alice Brandon: Magnolia. This is the official end of FicMas until I decide that the thing the world needs is some ridiculous lead up to Valentine’s Day with 12 variations on Alice and Jasper being cute. 

So, onwards my dears, and I hope everyone has a happy and safe NYE. 

(Alice has met the Cullens, had a very Pro-Jasper vision, and bailed poor Jasper up in public to try awkwardly flirting with him. Rosalie tells Alice to fuck right off leave Jasper alone, and Alice is feeling very sorry for herself, especially since her new stepsister Ellie has told everyone at Forks High that Alice was in a mental institution, and has a pretty strained relationship with her mother and sister.

Anyone who might have read Memento Mori can probably recognize aspects that I later used for it, and will probably be changed for the final posted version as recent read-throughs have agitated the Editing Badger that lives in my brain.)

Halloween was fast upon us, and everyone else seemed excited for the dance - it was already the only thing that anyone talked about. Not that many people were talking to me at school – Ellie’s rumour spreading had made me the subject of a lot of gossip, but no overtures of friendship.

And I hated Halloween.

My previous Halloween had consisted of watery green cordial in paper cups, cupcakes with chalky orange icing and a sad pair of cardboard wings I'd made in art therapy. Trick or treating at various doctors' offices and the nurses station had been compulsory and the ‘treats’ had consisted of sugar-free candy or fruit that most of us left to rot in the day room.

Forks kids seemed really psyched about it. The school was decorated in green and purple streamers, with cardboard bats and twine spider webs. Cynthia was having a Halloween Costume Parade at the middle school. Every food outlet in town had Halloween specials, and even the gas station was selling costumes.

I couldn't bring myself to care about costumes or anything else. Ellie was planning on going as Marilyn Monroe, and Cynthia was going as Dorothy, bouncing off the walls in excitement over the red-sequin shoes she had made herself.

Forks High had a costume contest that involved free movie tickets or something, and it was clearly a big deal, from the plans I overheard. I had absolutely no intention of dressing up, not so much as a pair of orange socks.

It was only when mom got annoyed at me that I dug out an old, long-sleeved leotard and a frilly skirt. Paired with leggings and flats and a sleek bun, I looked like a pretty half-assed ballerina, but it passed Mom's scrutiny. I had, of course, attempted just to leave the house in PJs, but had been marched back up to my room.

With my hoodie zipped up, I didn’t look like I was in costume at all. However, everyone else definitely was – even the Cullens had managed to get in on the act. Rosalie was a gorgeous flapper, her hair pinned up elaborately to look like pin curls; the biggest Cullen who was Rosalie’s boyfriend made a convincing if friendly-looking gangster. Edward and his dark-haired girlfriend were hippies, complete with an elaborately painted guitar and flower crown.

Jasper looked about as enthused about the holiday as I was, with a cowboy hat and boots.

The teachers were handing out candy and snacks – my Lit teacher had actually made mini-cupcakes for every single one of her students, complete with little candy pumpkins. The cafeteria provided bat-shaped cookies and disgusting pumpkin-flavoured mains, which meant my lunch ended up being a cookie and a soda, and the candy from my morning classes.

I wasn’t expecting to open my locker that afternoon to find a small pile of candy and two of Ms Lowe’s mini-cupcakes on a napkin. Who even had my locker combination? Was this some ill-planned attempt to make me feel better from the administration?

Candy was candy, and I popped the cupcakes into my mouth as I pulled my books out and crammed them into my shoulder bag. I had a headache coming on, no doubt from the amount of sugar I had consumed and my tight hairdo. Yanking the pins and hairnet out, I let my hair tumble around my face in loose waves.

It was only when I shut my locker and turned around, I saw Jasper Hale watching me from the end of the hallway, an utterly inscrutable look on his face.

I popped a piece of gum in my mouth and walked out, pulling my hood over my head to avoid the ever-present drizzle. Another wet walk home, to hand out candy all evening – both Ellie and Cyn had Halloween dances at school, and Mom and Craig were chaperoning for Cyn’s school.  

//

As I walked across the cafeteria towards my usual corner table, I felt my vision blur and darken, and the last thing I was aware of was the sound my tray made as it fell from my hands.

Blood pooling in the snow, a house of mirrors. Feet – my feet, my old boots – running through the forest. Cold, blue lips, my father’s dead eyes as he stared at me from the seat next to me, blood everywhere, black and red and warm… My own strangled screams, and the bitter taste of powdery pills on the back of my tongue, leaving me feeling dull and clumsy. My hoarse calls. Myself screaming as the ECT went terribly wrong.

I came back with a gasp to find myself standing in the middle of the cafeteria, my tray at my feet, and people were whispering, giggling. My vision was still swimming, and I couldn’t get myself to move; I was worried I would trip or faint. I could still see myself running in the snow, smell and taste the blood.

And then there was someone at my elbow, murmuring in my ear. I heard nothing as they guided me, my legs feeling gelatinous. I was gently, carefully helped onto a seat and when I blinked I was looking at Edward Cullen, who was beside me looking concerned.

“Alice, are you okay?” he asked in a low voice.

I swallowed hard, and just nodded my head. It was pounding, but reality was fitting itself back together slowly. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes again for a second.

“Alice,” the dark-haired Bella was beside me, holding a paper cup. “I got you something to drink.”

“Thank you,” I croaked, taking the paper cup. As I sipped, I realised the rest of the Cullens were at the table – the big one was staring at me curiously, Jasper was pointedly ignoring me, and Rosalie was giving me a death look.

I set the cup down on the table. “Thank you for helping,” I said simply to Edward. I knew where I wasn’t welcome, and I wasn’t going to be a verbal punching bag for Rosalie twice in one week. I could get something out of the vending machine in the doorway and hide in the library again.

“Do you need to go to the nurse?” Bella asked kindly.

“No, I’m fine now. It happens,” I offered her a smile that was far too brittle to be convincing, and stood up carefully. My balance was still slightly off but it would be enough to get me away.

“Please, sit with us for a while,” Edward said, shuffling along. Rosalie sneered at me.  “Ignore her, she’s naturally unpleasant. Stay, please.”

I knew that I probably wouldn’t make it across the cafeteria without stumbling like a drunken toddler. I also knew that Rosalie was probably one lunch break away from dumping me in a shallow grave.

But I took the seat again.

Rosalie’s gaze landed on my wrist, where my hospital band had fallen loose of my sleeve.

“What is it?” she asked, nodding at it. “A hospital band?”

I found myself almost cowering at her words, shrinking back as I slid the band back under my sleeve.

“Yes,” I said quietly. “You’ve probably heard the rumours.”

“We don’t exactly keep abreast of the Forks High rumour mill,” she sniffed as if I had told her to eat out of the garbage.

“Why should we? We are the rumours,” the big guy grinned and Rose, Edward and Bella all collectively rolled their eyes.

“What were you in for?”

Jasper. Rose scowled at me, and then him, and then refocused her ire on me. I was done. This was uncomfortable and weird and if I had wanted to be somewhere with people who didn’t want me, well, I had a lot of choices.

“I’m the crazy one,” I said and stood up. “Thanks, again.”

I felt their eyes on me as I walked away, and didn’t even bother to stop for lunch. I just headed to the library.