#Feels like work a little sometimes
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Not feeling it today... I hope work will be OK. Opening an in person box office but only for rich donors. Could be lively, could be that mummy behind a laptop meme... Could be 5h of getting carpal tunnel syndrome from doing a data cleaning job that could be automated by 5 lines of code.
#Still beats cleaning toilets and mopping floors after 9h on my feet#By a long reach too#But I need two days off in a row#So tired all the time#So many of my days off are spent working on fandom stuff#Feels like work a little sometimes
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There’s that post that’s like ‘everyone should get into a tiny niche fandom at least once’ fully agree, that was really fun -- but I would like to add that everyone should get into a fandom where their opinions run counter to major fanon because it really teaches you about sticking to your guns and trusting your interpretation of the text without having to rely on peer validation
because WHAT are people talking about sometimes
#aka: genuinely sometimes I think I live in a parallel universe and simply watched/read different things#full disclosure it does make you feel like a killjoy sometimes#because often times these fanons will be presented in a silly jokey manner#'oh so silly isn't this character so funny this is just my silly little headcanon'#and it's like yes yes lol lol but ok look me in the eyes and tell me you know that this is#at best only one interpretation of many and at worst simply not supported by the text at all#please tell me you know that#or in one specific example such a ubiquitous joke that is literally a significant theme of the work and i feel like SUCH a killjoy#being like 'ok yes very funny.....you know that was a major theme right?? tell me you know that'
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always good to keep a screamhole handy
#danny phantom#danny fenton#college au#ember mclain#this one was a struggle to finish tbh#but the thinking around it is how ghosts handle stress#like#hmm#bc of the way they operate ghosts don’t have human emotional regulation#there is no shoving feelings down#they gotta go OUT#ghost fights and having fun in the ghost zone is usually enough#but in times of big stress sometimes he’s just gotta scream/wail it out#easier to just destress the ghost way yanno#less work#quicker recovery#also in this#displays of power aren’t inherently aggressive but they do affect how much respect you get#he’s just screaming into a mostly uninhabited void#but he’s the ghost king and he wasn’t really thinking#so just like#ghost nukes tf out of this little area#no harm no foul tho
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After months of research and development and market testing and perfecting the first item I feel confident selling online, I have realized... that it is an incredibly niche item that only a specific subset of absolute nerds would want to buy, and I will have to do a ton of explaining the basic idea over and over again before people generally get what it is I'm even selling. RIP me
#this is like the time I spraypainted a bunch of screw heads gold#because I was putting up gold spraypainted shelf brackets and wanted these black screws to not stand out#and to make it easier I took a piece of thin cardboard and cut a series of Xes in it#then pushed the screws in a little bit and positioned it over the gap between boards on the back deck#and used my hammer to just plonk those screws into place so I could spraypaint them!#i felt so clever I posted a video of it#(gold spraypaint makes me feel giddy and childlike)#and everyone was like#“GIRL NO YOU CAN'T DO THAT DON'T TRY TO *HAMMER* YOUR *SCREWS* INTO A DECK!”#it took like. so much work to try to explain to people why this was a problem I wanted to solve#much less the mechanism by which i solved it#my brain is just. HIGHLY WEIRD SOMETIMES
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christ sometimes I just wanna. steal a time machine & go back & sit down next to my 9-year-old self and just like. let them pull out their pokemon card binder & gush about their holographic gyarados or whatever. I'd just smile & ask questions about motherfukcing bulbasaur & tell my kid self that I thought they were a neat person, & someday they'd find other people who thought so too.
like i'm a grown adult who honestly finds most kids stuff boring, but. damn if i could go back & hang out with my baby self & listen to them ramble...just so they knew someone was listening. i would in a heartbeat. thinking about u kid
#wouldn't roll my eyes or check my phone or get bored or nothing#I'd just listen to that little dork & smile & encourage them & let them explain how their favorite gameboy games worked#i was the kind of kid my adult self would find annoying & uninteresting but like#most of the actual adults in my childhood felt that way too. including my dang parents.#and ya know sometimes they showed it. a lot of times without realizing it. and that messes a kid up#if you don't make an effort kids WILL recognize your disinterest and lack of attention.#kids deserve to have caregivers who show interest and engagement#even when it's over stuff that adults find boring. especially then maybe#your kid doesn't have to be fun or interesting or easy or well behaved to deserve positive attention#they deserve positive attention because they are YOUR KID#if love is unconditional then DISPLAYS of LOVE and AFFECTION must also be unconditional#not something that must be earned#telling your kid that you love them is not enough. that is step one out of like a thousand#if you just tell your kid you love them but you don't demonstrate affection and interest and patience and warmth and etcetera#your kid isn't gonna feel loved! I Love You will just become a trite phrase that they regard with mistrust!#bitch you gotta FOLLOW THROUGH
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Instead of writing a fanfic like a normal person this oneshot turned into two separate, contextless things,
#sorry it’s how my brain works (sometimes can only see things in terms of tv scene-)#tumblr exclusive video fancy…#dcmk#my art#(quietly coughing and spluttering) OK alright I can feel the creative brain explosion slowing down. geez#coughs.#nyways. weird that there hasn’t really been a main case where poison is involved in a certain way#If I watch my own scribbled boards for too long im gonna get too embarrassed to post. Send post#Subarus hair is still infuriating by the way like take that off your normal hair is easier. The beanie is easier#you like Have to have the side corners on this haircut or it doesn’t look right#anyways. shiho ptsd moments I think she kind of gets irritated that shinichi doesn’t react the same so when he does she gets like#weirded out and vindicated and a little protective. Like woah wait. Love that you understand me rn don’t like that you feel bad I am going…#to…………. ssssssssssit here about it…………………………….. uhhhh. do you want. a rubix cube to get your mind off it#I don’t want to talk about my feelings I just want you to get it. you don’t wanna talk about your feelings either which is……………. Hmmmmmm#I like her. love of my life miyano shiho#masumi sera#conan edogawa#ai haibara#akai shuichi#let conan swear. HE SWEARS A LOT BUT LET HIM SWEAR IN ENGLISH I KNOW HE KNOWS THEM#man needs his emotional support akai family they like him#rigorous trials to being approved by the akai matriarch but everyone else likes him already and have already picked him up multiple times#and shuichi would let him swear
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Question about your changling AU, where did you learn about the ins and outs of Fae and Changling myths? I'm interested in learning too but not sure where to start lol
some of the lore I have for the AU I crafted myself, otherwise I read a lot of old faerie tales growing up and my mom, for some reason, knows an awful lot about shit like that, so some of it is just innate from her. otherwise i just read a lotttttt of books around the concepts of these things when I was younger because I was fascinated with jim henson's worlds
#replies#look into old myths and legends#read old books#start with uhhhh. uhhhhhhh#the princess and the goblin. the moorechild. shit like that#i read a lot of robin mckinley's works growing up which lean more into the silent side of magic shit#where magic is very much an unknown element. and defining it is not only risky but generally stupid#so sometimes shit happens. and you can make a cause and effect. you can do research. but there is always folly when playing with fate#so i feel like how I write magic tends to be a little more esoteric and odd#not so much chanting spells and giving exact definitions#more of. magic being a force like gravity. whos effects are usually not seen without it in action
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May your hardened heart be woken By the soft and distant song Of all you left here unspoken All the shards we keep stepping on - Take this body home Take this body home Call the wind, and let her know Take this life outgrown Take this broken soul Call the stars, call them all And take it high, take it far, take it home
#svsss#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#bingqiu#sqq#lbh#scum villain#heard the song Take This Body Home by Rose Betts and it nearly took me out at the knees#it really really suits sqq's self-detonation in hua yue city right? i'm not the only one feeling this?#considered adding some literal shards for them to be stepping on - since sqq's sword explodes - but i couldn't quite make it work#anyway this has been playing like a music video in my head for the past couple days highly recommend listening to the song#if you haven't heard it before#can't get over the absolute dissonance between how sqq views this scene and how everyone else must feel about it#like to him he's just completing his plan - hopefully keeping lbh from destroying a city with energy imbalance and escaping The Plot#nbd! he and sqh have planned it all out it's FINE :) off he goes!#meanwhile everyone who loves him - including lbh who worked years to get back to him and is trying to work through a lot of grief#and resentment and doubt and longing and... - watches him DIE in FRONT OF THEM#just collapse while coughing up blood sword disintegrating energy completely consumed#like holy hell sqq could you traumatize the people around you any more???#no wonder lbh went a little bit crazy after that like my man was already not in a great place but what the fuck#lbh watches his shizun presumably sacrifice himself for him ONCE AGAIN like after he's finally Gotten Strong his shizun is STILL#coming to harm in an effort to make up for his shortcomings#my art#most of the time out here drawing what amounts to muppets and then sometimes i get the urge for this and just need to cover everyone in blo
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thinkin' about Bardaby and his illusion smoke...
#went on yet another bardaby bender. these are only part of it lmao#i am often seized by the fatal need to Draw Barnaby In Some Shape Or Form#but yes. thinking very hard about the illusion smoke#i feel like sometimes he uses it recreationally... mixed with other stuff to dilute it ofc#but it keeps the color!#im imagining that it can act sort of like a Mood Ring!#the core color that he exhales yk yk!#but using it full strength for proper illusions and such#he's gotta be careful about it! it'll fuck him up!#he's built up Quite The Resistance to illusions and illusion magic over his life#but everyone has their limits...#scribble salad#wh fantasy au#IM NOT USED TO DRAWING SMOKE. IT LOOKS BAD LMAO#i'll have to work on that! look up tutorials! Practice!#anyhow i think the other scribbles need their own post#its mainly bardaby and our little warlock...#there are three ways i love drawing barnaby#i love scribbling him angry. i love scribbling him with howdy. and i love scribbling him being soft w/ wally#side note i realized earlier that part of the reason why i love characters who are just so much bigger than everyone else#ex: poppy & barnaby#is bc then its like. they're the smaller guys' personal jungle gym lmao#free bed! free climbing wall! free bean bag! free Getting Tossed Around!!!!#all wrapped up with the wonderful bow of Friend!!!!#...my touch starvedness is showing isnt it. away with ye demons!!!
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zhongli and neuvillette fighting over their reader 🤭🤭
scary dog privilege wherever you go, draconic courting gestures that would scare any regular person, they send each other deadly glares the moment you turn away,
stealing your clothes to just get a whiff of your scent, marking their territory all over your house - making it a battlefield basically, neuvillette (in my hc) is cooler and zhongli is warm so the cuddles are always so comfy ☺️😍,
they give you anything you want - you don't even have to lift a finger, they make you travel between the nations a lot though 😒 sooo clingyyy, extra gentle in their dragon forms as to not squish you, don't even get me started on the size difference 😍😍
just a little thought 🤭☺️
- 🐈⬛
Neuvi being colder is so real and canon. I see him as being colder + a lot more lithe, kinda lanky with smaller but sharper canines versus Zhongli who's warmer and a bit shorter then Neuvi + bulkier with bigger but not as sharp canines.
They've also got very different habits – Zhongli is very prideful not just of himself but his nation. He'll personally give your a tour and purposely drag it out as long as he can. Complimenting Liyue is basically complimenting him, checkmate Neuvi. Especially if he convinces you to try on some local Liyue fashion. Harmless and just a nice gift to anyone else but Neuvi sees it for what it is (since your wearing something from Liyue, technically wearing something of his. He loves his technicalities when it comes to staking a claim over you). Adds salt to the wound by touching you in totally innocent ways like to adjust you towards something he wants to show you or accidently brushing against you when he takes the bags of spoils he's practically drowning you in but really he's just making sure his scent sticks. He's just a sweet, nice gentleman with absolutely no ulterior motives trust.
Neuvillette does love Fontaine, but his habits are more about himself then the nation. He'll take you around if you ask or if the idea strikes him, but you'll probably stay around the making city area or the opera house specifically. He enjoys more personal time with just you and him then anything else. He values the immaterial to the material. Zhongli spoils you with gifts, but Neuvi tries to offer quality time irregardless of physical gifts (though he still gives them just not to the extent of Zhongli). He'll take you to see different operas if that's to your fancy, or leverage a bit of his authority to maybe see a few films since those seem to be hitting off in Fontaine recently. Bet that creaky old archon doesn't have those huh. He feels awkward if you want to watch a trial, but he'll reluctantly agree because. well. it's you. just don't wave or anything he's trying to work and he just Really wants to see you smile at him like that again and it makes him lose his train of thought. gets custom clothes designed by Chiori to replace your clothes from Liyue because they smell of Zhongli and it makes him sulky + he likes to match.
G-d forbid these two are in the same room as you because it's a war of attrition at that point. Constant accidental brush of the hand against your shoulder or elbow but it's just them trying to get rid of the others scent. they are side eyeing each other behind your back while being all smiles whenever your looking. If it's hot and you lean into Neuvi more he's practically GLOWING. not even smug he's just absolutely smitten and happy to be of service. immediately takes off his gloves and presses his hands to your face asking if your okay and if you want to go back with him. if it's cold out and you seek out Zhongli more hes smug as hell beneath the calm veneer. Offers you his coat and stay as physically close to you as he can under the pretense of being worried you'll catch a cold if he doesn't warm you up.
don't even get me started on your house either because you probably have tons of gifts from both of them accumulated everywhere. if Neuvi sees you use a tea set from Zhongli suddenly he had a fantastic gift idea he thought you'd like. he even got some tea included with it so why don't you let him make you some? Zhongli sees you using a goblet Neuvi gave you (totally a coincidence it's similar to his) and suddenly you have 27 square cups in your cabinets that you have no idea where they came from. if the goblet is mysteriously missing oh well. who knows :]
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#asks#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#is this actually cult au?? csnt tell tagging it anyway#its like 1 am brain not working#🐈⬛ anon#shaking them both like shaker charms#zl feels more possessive too. neuvi is possessive but i dont think snyone could get near zl level of possessiveness#its like having two cats constantly trying to get your attention.#neuvi is more mellow imo so hes not as intense in the rivalry but sometimes he feels PETTY#only if it actually benefits you though because you still come first even if he cant stand zl snd hes not dragging you into it#zl has no issue tossing out gifts neuvi gives you unless your REALLY attached to it but neuvi probably wouldnt yknow..#sometimes neuvi is just clueless he did not gaf abt zl at first he was just smitten with you. he did not want 2 get involved in this rivalry#but hes still a little possessive snd having you come back smelling like zl dressed in clothes from liyue with other gifts from zl..#it rained for like a week straight he was in shambles. acted like a kicked puppy until zl scent was gone 😭#also theres a joke somewhere here abt zl snd his square cups..hm.#just clingy possessive dragons trying to subtly be the only one you pay attention to 🫡#this has been my loser girlfail neuvi propaganda post enjoy
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floyd has big brother flavored mommy/daddy issues you can't convince me otherwise, sorry, i've spent too much time thinking about it. he is crushing on a troll too old for him and he doesn't know how to deal except to use his adorable baby brother charm. he thinks it's working (question mark)
these images were drawn in three sessions over a longer period so i'm no longer that happy with les's look in the first part since I was still figuring him out, but man do i find this idea entertaining and cute and want to share it even though i also feel really weird about it skdjbvkbfc 🙈🙊😳
the pillars of their relationship if you even care:
one of them is going to lose
#they can't get a high five right that's for sure#too many mixed and misunderstood messages lol#trolls#dreamworks trolls#trolls floyd#sometimes not wearing a shirt isn't just a fashion choice#sometimes it's floyd's favorite excuse to get hugs from this guy#trolls 3#trolls band together#trolls oc#les#ex bandmates#my art#someone shoot me dead i am a little too insane about them#i don't know what personal issues i'm working through with them but it definitely feels like something#it's the year of our lord 2024 and i'm shipping characters with my ocs damn
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really what prompted my double boy dad bakugou post was the idea of his older son — who is six, nearing seven — coming out of his room with messy, sleep-mussed hair and wandering into the kitchen on an early morning when katsuki's getting ready for work.
and your youngest is a little terror. spoiled rotten, katsuki thinks, was too babied and that's why he doesn't listen and has temper tantrums in the middle of the floor and is already throwing punches at three. katsuki's old witch of a mother thinks he'll be bulkier than his older son and twice as mean, prone to pinning his brother to the ground until he's declared the greatest.
(katsuki feels both horror and pride, at the very thought.)
it hasn't always been easy for your oldest; becoming a big brother never is. not that katsuki would know what that's like, but he hated to even share a playground with deku, much less share his one and only mommy, so he can only imagine what his own son went through when his brother arrived.
but he's been great about it, which comes as no surprise because his oldest has always been great about everything. gets his little brother out of bed and reminds him of his manners—even as he's getting whacked—gives up his toys just so the baby won't cry. he's too smart for his own good, acting like a big boy now—and it makes katsuki nostalgic in a way that hurts.
there hasn't been a lot of time for just the two of them. not like there used to be.
so when his firstborn comes to stand beside him in the kitchen, to lean his head against his dad's hip and rub at his sleepy eyes—katsuki just ruffles his already messy hair, before giving his ear a little tug.
"should be asleep," he grumbles to him, "sun's not even up yet."
his son only shrugs, yawns hard; despite this, he says, "'m not tired."
katsuki snorts and continues with his routine: finishes his protein shake, gives the kid a sip when he thinks he wants one (he doesn't really, though he tries not to make a face at the taste as he nods, as if he likes it), makes sure he's got all his work shit in his bag for patrol later. and his son is mostly quiet, content to share in the morning just between the two of them after katsuki sits him on the counter.
and then he asks, "can i come to work with you?"
on instinct, katsuki glances at his shut bedroom door, where you're still fast asleep, on the other side, and then down the hallway to where his youngest is sleeping, too.
technically, the kid probably could because you're off work today, and you could come pick him up later before katsuki has to head out, but—
"your brother won't be happy if i take you and not him."
and your oldest is a good big brother. has more patience than katsuki ever did, knows how to share—but on this morning that the two of them are indulging in, he only shrugs.
"well," he sighs—and he sounds so grown up, sounds like you when you're leveling with katsuki. "if he wanted to go then he should have got up, too."
"that why you're awake?" katsuki frowns, though his son only shrugs again. the idea that he's gotten up way too early, at the ass-crack of dawn just to have some extra time with his dad is too—
"yeah," katsuki murmurs, nodding at him to hop off the counter. "get your socks on so we can go."
there won't be anything for him to do in the agency office, besides get an endless amount of cups of water from the dispenser and all the candy in the receptionist's bowl and attention from the older ladies that thinks he's just so stinking cute.
but at least they'll be together, just the two of them. like old times.
#idk !! i just had this picture in my head of katsuki feeling bad bc he doesnt get enough time with his oldest son 🥺#enough time with his kids at all but 🥺 definitely less with his firstborn after his brother comes along 🥺#and so sometimes they do little things like this#take a quick run to the grocery store together or he'll walk around the neighborhood with his dad#or he'll take him to work just to have some extra quality time 🥺 just the two of them 🥺#and it seemed so sweet !! so here it is hehe#cw children#✿ willow writes#✿ thoughts: bakugou#✿ theme: dad bakugou#✿ theme: domestic bakugou
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— evening sun, jane kenyon
as long as he lives one day, I'll live that day with him.
#word of honor#wenzhou#shl#rowan gifs#userbon#tusermona#lextag#baek1nho#userginpotts#roserayne#tuserashinlae#userpetri#thank u lex and mona and sara for encouragement <3#i feel like it's a little cheeky to use that tian ya ke quote. hehehe whose perspective did you Think it was from (youre right either way)#sometimes you see a poem and it is sooooooooo them and you projecting on them that you drop everything to work on it for a week and a half#even multiple times the day you are in the hospital#[pats gifset] he is humble but this baby can fit so much rowan's feelings in it
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Looks like you found one of those golden retriever girls! Good luck with that, Tamarack
(Fake screenshots! These are fan made based on incorrect quotes and not in the game)
#our life#our life 2#our life now and forever#olnf#olnf tamarack#tamarack baumann#our life tamarack#incorrect quotes#fan edit#fan made#not canon#mc annabeth#annabeth is soooooo jason mendoza coded it's crazy#like she's not stupid but she is kinda dumb and happy most of the time and she loves tama more than anything#this quote probably works a little better in step 3 but i don't have those sprites so maybe I'll redo this when i do#also tama is the ONLY person allowed to call her annie! everyone else calls her beck or maybe annabeth if they're close#i need the step 2 angst so bad it's not even funny. i need it and i need it right now#like none of my mcs are having a good time in step 2 but becks arc is about how hard it can be to always be the positive and upbeat one#and that maybe her two best neighbors take that for granted sometimes and need to let her feel negatively wo making her feel guilty#sunshine characters breaking down/snapping my beloved
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Please, cuddling, and TimKon?
. . . I am sorry but also I am NOT sorry for what I have done with this reply, but hey, why don't we all enjoy this one being the only prompt fill from this meme that got a read-more cut??
“Please,” Kon tries, trying not to look–he doesn’t know, weird and needy and like an embarrassment, or whatever. It feels like such a stupid thing to ask for. He knows Tim’s not really a hugger or a touchy-feely guy or whatever and that he likes having his own space and basically always hops out of bed right after sex to go write down all the shit his post-nut clarity made him think of, and the idea of, like, just staying still and actually cuddling or whatever is probably basically literal torture to him, assuming it’s ever even occurred to him at all, just . . .
Just he’d kind of like to sometimes, maybe? Like–not regularly or whatever, he’s not trying to drive Tim nuts or cut into either his worktime or downtime here, just . . .
Just he’d like to do it sometimes, that’s all.
Tim’s not the tactile type. Tim isn’t even the eye contact type, unless he’s lying to somebody or at work or just faking it for Robin-mode or whatever. Kon gets that. He’s been, like–careful about that. Not trying to take up too much space or ask for too much attention or mind when Tim doesn’t even look up at him when he–
He’s been careful about it.
But he is . . . well. The tactile type. Like . . . kind of, anyway.
Like–it’s kinda unavoidable, honestly.
“Oh,” Tim says, blinking at him in just enough bemusement to make him feel even more self-conscious about bringing this shit up to begin with, and Kon tries to keep his expression casual and noncommittal and–and just normal about this. Because he is totally normal about this. He is so normal about this. He is.
He’s also normal about the fact that when he asked Tim if he could talk to him about something, Tim didn’t even put down his tablet. Didn’t even put it to sleep, or actually even look up from it until . . .
Kon’s normal about that. About all of this.
(and he definitely never feels kind of weird or a little bit abandoned because Tim can’t EVER just bring his stupid laptop back to bed or at least work on whatever he’s thinking about IN the bedroom at the untouched desk he's got set up in there or even just, like . . . stick around and hang out on the couch with him, or anything like that. he definitely totally ENTIRELY doesn’t ever just feel like a casual fuckbuddy or an easy hookup or a gala-night accessory or just the most immediately convenient option and not actually–not actually any kind of a–not actually something that–
he doesn’t.
definitely.)
“Uh,” Kon says, and backpedals awkwardly, because clearly this conversation is not going the way he’d wanted it to and Tim just looks so surprised by it all, like–like it never even occurred to him or something, that maybe . . . that maybe Kon would want anything like that, or like he literally just hasn’t noticed how hard Kon’s been trying to be normal about it, or . . .
It doesn’t feel very good, the idea he’s been trying so hard to respect Tim’s space and preferences and comfort levels and Tim hasn’t even noticed that he was doing anything at all.
Especially because Tim usually notices just about everything.
Maybe Tim’s just never thinking about it. Maybe he gets out of bed so quick because he’s spent the whole time in it thinking about other shit and just putting up with–just–
“Kon,” Tim says, his voice going a little tight, and Kon just tries not to wince. He didn’t mention any of the complicated stuff he’s been trying not to feel, he just asked if Tim could–if Tim would–
He didn’t even mention any of the complicated stuff, so it’s, like–not a great sign that Tim’s looking at him like that right now, like he’s said something really serious or upsetting or . . .
He really shouldn’t have said anything, yeah.
“Sorry,” he tries stiffly, glancing away and wrapping his hand around his own wrist and digging his fingers into the inside of it. It’s–tactile. Just . . . something tactile. “I know you don’t–sorry. Uh. Just forget it.”
“Fuck,” Tim mutters for some reason, and Kon feels like such an idiot for saying anything at all, and a worse one for apparently doing it in a way that’s got Tim making that face at him. That face is Robin’s “my utility belt is empty, comms are fried, and the mission just went to shit” face.
He really fucked this up. It was fine. Everything was fine, and now he’s wrecked it and Tim’s about to say it’s not even that serious, it’s not like it’s even–not like they’re even–and that Kon’s clearly gotten the wrong idea and they should just–just–
“How long have you felt this way?” Tim asks very, very carefully, like the question’s something fragile, and Kon thinks from literally the first fucking time you left me alone in bed all night so you could go recalibrate some stupid useless specialty sensor that wasn’t even part of your primary gear, like, a WEEK into us sleeping together and says, “I dunno. It’s not–I told you. Forget it. It’s not a big deal.”
He’s being weird about this. He’s being an asshole about this, actually, because being prepared for literally every single possible contingency ever is the Bats’ whole thing and he got into this knowing Tim wasn’t the touchy-feely type or all that expressive and emotive about–about his feelings, or whatever, and–and it’s not like he even–not like he–
(he just wants a fucking HUG he didn't have to FUCK him for every now and then, or for Tim to at least exist in the same space as him for longer than the time it takes for the next email from Oracle to come in or next alert from Batman to go off or next self-assigned project to finish processing or–
but that’s not something Tim does, and Kon knew that going in, so–so it’s his own stupid fault if he feels SMALL sometimes, when . . . when there’s always something else, always another problem to solve or place to be or thing to think about, always . . . always something more important than just . . . staying, just for a little bit, and just BEING with–with him. just him. not the team, or either of their families, or . . .)
He knew all this going in, Kon reminds himself. He knew it. If he were this bad at being with literally anyone else, he’d just–he’d just–
But something about it being Tim means he just . . . can’t.
Tim’s jaw tightens, and he finally sets down his stupid tablet.
Only now, though, Kon thinks bitterly, and digs his fingers a little deeper into the inside of his wrist.
“Kon,” Tim says again, says too carefully again. Like something’s fragile, again. “I–”
“I said forget it, for fuck’s sake!” Kon snaps too hotly, and maybe hates himself for both doing it and for the stricken look that doing it puts on Tim’s face, and also maybe cheats a bit by super-speeding straight out the balcony door into the night air and not taking his cell or his communicator with him. Or–definitely does, in fact. Definitely that’s cheating. He knows it is.
He just really can’t stand to hear Tim tell him how he’s fucked up this time right now, though. He just–he tried so fucking hard not to fuck up this time.
He really, really tried.
He should’ve known it wouldn’t work, but . . . but he really did try.
#timkon#tim drake#kon el#conner kent#dc robin#superboy#anonymous#why yes I DID pick a 'cuddling' prompt to be angsty and painful!#yes I did!!#it is now 'hurting the blorbos o'clock' friends#is this specific fill a little bit because of the excess of fics where Kon is just 'Perfect Cardboard Boyfriend' for over-woobied Tim?#and never allowed to have feelings or character flaws or faults or an arc of his own??#or a single personality trait that is not just 'being perfect for and perfectly supportive OF Tim and all his issues'????#(at least not without getting disproportionately punished by the narrative????????)#maybe! maybe it is!!#who knows!!!!#look man in all seriousness sometimes you can love somebody and suck at communicating with each other and I just wanted to write that#and also like a more realistic version of having a partner who has issues or whose issues clash with YOUR issues#so like behold my works ye mighty and despair
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// sliiight RANT!!!! blah blah
guys i keep feeling like im going to get hit with a ton of stones or get left in the dust because i havent posted anything substantial or interesting in like. a few days or a week
need 2 stop putting so much pressure on myself on posting consistently like. that is not me i shouldn't b worrying about that BUT ITS SO HARD!!! AUGH!!!!!
#hate how fast social media is sometimes#or all the time#like if i stop posting for a little tiny bit i feel like i am going to lose my awesome streak and i dont want to#or in other words lose relevance#especially with how many object show thingamajigs are coming out this month it's really hard to keep up#and i really wanna work on my own projects like my own show but i feel pressure to kind of just#Make Fan Content#DONT GET ME WRONG!!! I LOVE MAKING FAN CONTENT SO MUCH!!!! i just need to stop pressuring myself to make it is all
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