#FUCKING HATE THIS SHIT. DON'T FUCKING HAVE KIDS IF YOU HAVEN'T ACHIEVED ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE GODDAMIT. STOP RUINING LIVES!

[hannibalismos-jaaneman]

no matter what you do and no matter how empathetic you are, you're never gonna know what it feels like to be your parents and they're never gonna know what it's felt like to be you. you might've been born out of their flesh but the same shoes won't feel the same on either feet. there's no point reconciling the pain you've felt if there's no common ground to be found. you don’t have to apologize to be a horrible offspring if they don't have to apologize to be equally horrible parents. a plant only survives the storm when it bends to the current of the wind.

[chronicallyuniconic]

TW: ableism, disability hate/discrimination

TLDR: the government proposed changes to benefit rules for disabled people in the aim of "getting them back to work" this has sowed so much hate that the 'people' are attacking the disabled as if we're lazy or scrounging the system, using their status as a taxpayer for reasoning.

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this fucking government and the humans we're sharing society with...i swear to God, it has dragged out SO much hate in the past couple weeks regarding people with disabilities who are out of work, disabled people who receive benefits like universal credit, personal independence payment, carers allowance and motability cars, and so on

they are directly attacking disabled people as if we're choosing not to work. as if we're lazy. as if we just don't want to. as if we're turning down jobs instead of taking them, as if we're stealing from the government & taxpayers (people who have a job)

because of this, it's brought all kinds of disgusting out on my twitter page (if you go looking, I'd advise a TW for ableist & direct abusive comments). it's brought out direct hate, for stating that its nobody's business, that we deserve to live, that we should have the freedom to buy what we choose with what we do receive.

met with comments like "the taxpayer is paying for you to buy shit" "you must be obese on 40 fags a day with 2 kids" "can't stop buying takeaways" "you're just fucking lazy" "what an entitled person saying freedom to buy" "you should have the bare minimum" amongst other degrading comments. as well as these, were a majority of misinformed people, who don't have a clue how the benefits system works. it isn't easy.

if it was easy, and you supposedly receive "thousands a month," wouldn't everyone be doing it?? that response is usually met with "cos I'm not stealing from the state" "cos I'm not lazy" "cos I go to work" nah, they just know, it isn't easy, and they're not getting anywhere with it.

I dare any of those fuckers that think like this, to quit their jobs & sign up to the system. I fucking dare you. how quickly your life will fall apart. good luck if you're paying a mortgage. good luck in general.

I never thought I would end up relying on benefits. I never wanted to rely on the government. and I still don't. I hate having to ask for help. I don't know anyone that doesn't. the government know they can't just do nothing for disabled people, it's part of the social circle. disability has existed in humans for as long as humans have existed.

it's frustrating. they don't know. they don't want to know. they don't try to know. they don't try to understand. they don't care. they roll their eyes when they're told it could be them any day. and when it is, they'll realise the actual living hell it is, to having to rely on a system because.. YOU ARE UNABLE TO WORK. what is it about that phrase that evaporates over their heads.

I WAS a taxpayer. but even if I wasn't, do they think those born with permanent disabilities, which definitively leave them unable to do anything, are lazy, or "sponging" or "could just look for a job" do they blame having to pay for them too? cos they won't admit it. they can't admit their true hate, but I see it, feel it, hear it. they'd rather us dead let's be damn honest.

I have a masters degree. I was in education from aged 3 to aged 25. but since diagnosed later with permanent disability(it was always there), it means nothing, I know that, I don't need to be told by anyone else. and the jobs and experience I had, also means nothing. many dont get to have the things I had, and I'm grateful I got to, because I understand with my whole heart, how hard it is as a disabled person, to achieve anything.

they tell you "just get a job" like we haven't considered that. like we've not all tried to find the job, that is accessible, can support your needs, has the working hours you can cope with. jobs like this don't exist for the majority. one day I am fine, the next 7 days I might be incapacitated. I might only be okay between the hours of 3am to 6am one day, and 3pm to 4pm the next. employers especially, do not care for that. at all. they cannot cope with the fluctuations of a disabled person. we are all absolutely individual, even with the same diagnoses. employers are not set up, supported or provided with the education, to allow disabled people into their business.

"if you can write, text, tweet, upload on your phone, then you can do a job" I'd love to attach a picture of my positioning and setup but honestly I'm past giving evidence to these asshats. they forget about text to speech, my screen scrolls with my eyes, screen reads back to me, there's a bunch of adaptability and accessibility they don't care or even know about.

so..even if we do find that one in a billion job, we have to get there. I can't do anything without someone driving me. I'm physically not able. but they don't care about that either.

work from home, they say. i don't tolerate screens well, migraines have been a huge fluctuating problem because of epilepsy. I can't sit up for very long at all, i am 90% bed and housebound, only really leaving my home for appointments. i cannot process a big influx of information anymore, my brain is like swiss cheese, I cannot read or take in the things that are important, in order for me to carry out my job. I rely on another person for the majority of my day.

any job we would find, would never allow us to rise through the ranks, to improve our standing and footing on the ladder, to ever experience a payrise or be treated like your non disabled peers.

it doesn't matter to them either, that the impact of the job can and usually does, affect the person's disability negatively. when your life only involves your job, it's not your life, is it?

it doesn't matter to them that the impact of working can lead many people to become so bad they can't work anymore. (hello, waves, me!!)

they expect you'll just get over that permanent problem. or you will work through it in a couple days. they don't understand constant symptoms, debilitating symptoms, twenty four hours a day symptoms. symptoms that incapacitate you. but they expect you to work through it anyway.

that's not how it works.

I was told "take up a hobby and get paid for it" why?? are you? are building lego and selling it? are you gaming on your computer and selling that? why should I use my fun time, my hobby, as an income. of which, the income would be so minimal, it would never cover rent, it would unlikely buy any food shopping at all, because ...it's a hobby. it's not my job. why would I sacrifice my hobbies, when you don't have to? my hobby, is also not my worth.

who's setting up the website and shop for my hobby? who's managing the orders? who's posting them? I made one hobby last week so have been unable to make 3 more hobbies, who's managing for that??

I hate this government for every hateful, spiteful, cold, calloused, manipulative, condescending, degrading, inhumane comment.

it's not even anger, it's like a complete state of fed up mixed with disappointment, lack of community on the issue, sadness of people's reactions, to disabled people.

I'd love for them to look my mother in law with stage 4 cancer, in the eyes and tell her to just get a job, after 38yrs of employment.

absolute cretins. the worst of humanity.

sorry it's so long, I am just 😪🥱😮‍💨😮‍💨

[toomanyfandomstmf]

Here's the rest and the note actually:

230215 [February 15th, 2023]

CW: Self harm is involved like the first thing you read and later on in the note. If you're facing self harm please seek help. I'm okay now and I don't interact with Daniel anymore. Julyet and I are still friends only when he isn't around. They are a toxic couple and me and some other friends are thinking of kicking them out the group. With that, here's the note:

[I WANTED TO CUT MY FUCKING ARMS AND NOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!! IM SCARED!! PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!]

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I saw Daniel and Juylet kiss before I went home.. I want to cry honestly. That was the last straw for me. The water works are happening yall. This day has been stressful enough and I didn't want THAT to be seen before I leave the school's view of my existence. I don't know what to say. If I say anything, I'm going to cry my eyes out. This is what I get for not confessing earlier. All they do is whisper and glare at me when I'm around. I hate it. I hate them. I hate my skin color, my gender, me being queer, my existence, EVERYTHING! I'M DONE! I DON'T WANT TO KEEP LIVING LIKE THIS! I DON'T WANT TO KEEP BEING THAT ONE FRIEND WHO FANGIRLS OVER SOMEONE THEY HAVEN'T MET! I DON'T WANT TO BE IN LOVE BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE THAT SINGLE FRIEND! IT'S A PAIN!!! I just want to be done with this dumb life cycle. I'm either ignored, or entertainment. Everything hurts. It hurts a lot. I push everyone away just to be alone when I can't be alone for 2 seconds. I'm just a nerd. I'm just some kid name [deadname] wanting to be both, neither, or one gender. I'm just a person who will never succeed. Someone who's always invisible to society and is only visible when needed. I feel terrible honestly. Too much shit has been put on my shoulders and I don't want it on top of me. I want to leave. Now. I rather take my life and never return than live this life I'm living now until the "right time". No one likes me. Everyone has hatred towards me. Maybe a lot, maybe a little. Who cares. I have a headache again. It's killing me. Kill me already. Kill me now in fact. "People will miss you" no they won't. This is why I need a big teddy bear. I can cry with it, tell it all my secrets, play with it while I'm regressed, cuddle with it to sleep, all sorts of other things. A teddy bear is more helpful than people. Wow I'm dramatic. All of this just because of a couple kissing each other? Another flaw I always had. Not getting my way. That's so dumb. I want to let the intrusive thought win. I really want to. I just can't.. I don't know what's stopping me though. The constant hallucinations of me with scissor cuts on my arm, the image of being hanged, shooting myself, stabbing myself, I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT! It's hurting me more than it's hurting anyone else. I just want one gift for my birthday. A ginormous teddy bear. No party, no DJ, no car, no cake, nothing. Just a ginormous teddy bear. The best gift I've always wanted. "Achieve your goals" well I'll try when I get 500$ on Friday.

-Ray💔

[End of the note]

Also I didn't get my 500$ :<

I'M ALIVE I SWEAR CW! VENT

MENTION OF CÙŤȚÏNG

There's more but Tumblr only does 10 pics at a time. Some are fun, MOST ARE VENTS. I also have a note to share with you guys. I'll most likely copy and paste it.

[sailingintothenight]

“Put your head on my Shoulder.” T.H. Imagine.

Summary: And what if after years of chasing each other like a cat and mouse, on a magical night where you two have to pretend to be a couple, you are finally able to say how you really feel about each other?

A/N: Hello everyone, after a while, and because a couple of people asked me, I wrote the second part of this story, "WANNABE", but you don't have to read it to understand this one. Anyway, I really hope you like it. Please give this story a lot of love. Thank you - V.

Tom Holland hates not being able to hate you.

The secret of his hate is because of your vanity, your selfish and free heart, your tender smile, the dimple that forms on your left cheek and your dreamy eyes that look at your grandfather as if he were the first man that you have ever loved — because you did.

Tom hates you because under a starry night, in the midst of a crowd of people and soothing music, you make your way through the mortals wearing a velvety wine red strapless dress that is lust itself on your body, black boots (velvet too) that cover you up to the knees and are as hot as hell, and your chocker - a gift from your father - from which a cross hangs, that is a tempting invitation for a sinner like him.

You are his angel with a devilish smile: but tonight, Tom Holland hates that, despite possessing all those qualities, and many more, he can only see the tenderness in your eyes when you look at your grandfather, or when you talk about him, and your smile that becomes as adorable as the face you were born with.

“You are like… staring much. Don't you think?" Harrison chuckles beside him, making Tom look away from you and your way of receiving the guests scattered around the place.

"Shit, Tom, if you turned a little faster you would look like the exorcist." Harry continues with the bland jokes, the same ones that make Sam, Harry and Tuwaine smile.

"Shut up." Tom hisses, taking a sip of his beer as he looks back at his group of friends.

But this story is not about you, but about Tom Holland, your lifelong neighbor, who you never had a conversation with other than to annoy each other, who you used to call idiot when nobody but him heard you, who used to laugh at you while filming Avengers: infinity war, endgame and finally, Spider-man: Far From Home, who used to hold your hand when you were kids because your parents were best friends, the same Tom who now drinks and look at you while you warmly greet each guest who has come to celebrate the birthday of the second man you know loved you.

“How is possible that you and he are the only two famous people at this party? What a waste of fame. Sigh." Danielle, your best friend whispers dramatically, just as you both stop at the bar to pick up more drinks.

"I'd feel sorry for you if you actually sighed." You give her a know-it-all smile, one that invites you to earn a playful slap on the butt from her.

"Please baby, I need to get something out of our friendship, otherwise this isn't working." She makes a gesture between her and you, the same sign that a boyfriend would make before breaking up.

"Tom Holland is here, why don't you go meet him?" You joke as you take the tray and walk with her by your side talking about Tom, although he was not news to you two.

"No thanks. But you can't deny that he looks sooo good. Only HE can look adorable and sexy at the same time. With those good boy eyes and wild muscles under his plain white T-shirt. Like Wow." She makes an expression of surprise, and the sound of an explosion as if her head cannot bear so much information that causes you so much laughter. "Seriously, please take that hottie. I'm sure your grandmother sent it to you as a gift."

You giggle, but your heart races at the thought of his breaking, because even though he and Hanna Johnson were never official, maybe he thought they were so. And after breaking up with her, he was back in London.

You suspected that was the reason behind his break.

"I would, but I don't love you as much as you think." You joke, just the moment you get to the table where your dear grandfather and your grandmother's friends, are, talking about you.

With just your young age, the world was a bright place for you, but here you are now, feeling how your best hits in movies escape from your hands like sand thanks to the endless words that spring from between the wrinkled lips of your grandmother's best friends, in the garden of your own house, adorned with crowded wooden tables and Christmas lights shining on you.

"Life goes by so fast, honey, you won't have that hot body for life." Says Mrs. Lee, who, at 89, still plays to be a 20-year-old from time to time. "You are... 24? 25? And you haven't had a single boyfriend yet."

"What do achievements matter if you don't have the most important thing, cutie?" Mrs. Russell asks, clicking her tongue in approval at her own words. “There are so many beautiful boys out there. My granddaughters want to be like you, but what will I tell them if you've never had a taste of real life? You are very innocent and that can work against you. You can have a little more fun while still being a lady, you know?"

Although in your cheeks bloom a crimson glow, you are aware that her words are offensive.

"You could tell the twins that you can be successful without fucking every chocolate-covered hottie that makes you an unseemly proposition." You murmur between tight lips, knowing well that the women in front of you need more than a whisper to hear certain truths. “I mean, you could tell Amy and Anne to work hard if they want to be actresses. The world is sexist, but, hey, here I am - besides, who says I don't have a boyfriend?"

You raise an eyebrow at your own question, winning several curious glances that seem to pierce you, even your grandfather, who stares at you more astonished than anyone.

"Really?" Mrs. Russell smiles, and her red lips gleam in the night. "And who is he?"

"Uh... well... I..." You giggle in a trance thanks to the bitter taste of the liquor that has your mind under a spell, leaving you completely blank and without a coherent response. "He is…"

"Hello, love." Tom presses his body against yours, suddenly, out of nowhere, wrapping his arm around your waist, so firm that you feel the pressure of his rolex in his left hand. "Hello, ladies. I heard you talking about me and I couldn't help but come and save my girl from this sea of ​​questions about who her boyfriend is. You thought I wasn't real, huh? I know my angel here is a little shy about our relationship, but there is no problem, love, you know you can show off what a good boyfriend I am with whoever you want…"

Tom smiles and enchants the older women who smile back at him, as if they are in love with his youth and his face that has it all: his cloud-fluffy brown hair that is combed to the side and back, the sparkle in his gaze and the way he smiles, making the corners of his eyes crinkle, right down to that funny eyebrow that everyone finds adorable.

From his lovely face and well-defined jaw to his personality and strong English accent: Tom looked like an angel from heaven, perhaps the devil himself because how dangerous his charm could be.

"Oh honey, I didn't know you and Tom were dating." Mrs. Lee says, with an expression between happy and sad. "My granddaughters thought they might have a chance with you, darling."

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Lee." Tom answers, with a hint of happiness and pride in his voice. "I'm already taken and I like it that way."

"Yes!" You say with surprise when Tom gives you a squeeze with the hand that is holding you, shooting you a loving look to encourage you to speak. "I mean... He is."

You smile at the audience, especially at your grandfather and Danielle, who seem to have their suspicions.

"Tom..." Says Roy, your grandfather, who averts his narrowed eyes from your gaze to his, just to become the happiest person in the world as he clasps his hands in a sign of prayer. “I didn't know that you and my darling (Y/N) were together. I'm so happy! I'm sure my beloved Jules is happy too. Couldn't have asked for a better grandson."

"Thank you very much, Roy." Tom says, and it's so natural that he seems sincere. "I wanted to tell you, but we wanted to wait for our relationship to grow stronger."

"Yeah, you know that there are many actresses, blondes and blue eyes actresses who want to eat this hottie." You say and Tom laughs, nervous.

"Well, if you'll excuse us, I'd like to speak to my girlfriend in private for a moment."

Guiding you all the way, you and Tom turn around in the direction of the glass doors of your house that connect to the kitchen, breathing in the warm air from the warm walls the moment you two walk in.

"Good acting, Tom." You smile as you take a grape from the kitchen counter. "Not enough to win an EMMY but-"

"Ha. You are funny. But now I want to talk to you about something…” Tom smiles, too, giving you a devilish look, as if he never rests from it. "You owe me a favor, love."

"Of course not!" You defend yourself, nervous of the sudden change in the conversation. “You came alone like a prince on a horse. I did not call you. I do not owe you anything."

"Are you sure about that?" Tom laughs, as if he really enjoyed the moment. “Because I can go there and tell them the truth. I told you it's pathetic that you've never had a boyfriend. Besides, I wouldn't want to break Roy's heart, he looked so happy to know that his dearest granddaughter is with a good man."

You cross your arms, uneasy with the fact that you've never really fallen in love with someone, while seriously thinking about how happy, and probably relieved, your granddfather is to see that his granddaughter is with someone like Tom, who, despite of everything, yes, was a good boy.

"Okay. What do you want?"

"I want you to pretend to be my girlfriend in front of my parents."

You laugh inadvertently, although deep down you want to know if what was being said about Hannah and him was true.

"Why?"

"Everyone thinks Hannah dumped me and I don't want to see myself as a loser in front of my family and have them keep asking questions about her, it's exhausting."

"Eh, too late for that." You sigh, and Tom looks at you hopefully. "You were a loser long time ago, Tom, sorry."

"I hate you." Tom laughs.

"The feeling is mutual." You look away, and in a second you decide to contemplate why agreeing to be his fake girlfriend would be a bad decision, and why you would do it anyway. “Okay, but you know you can't call me darling. And stop looking at my chest, perv."

Tom laughs, looking up your chest into your eyes.

"It's not my fault you have worn that dress, but it seems that despite everything you didn't have a boy's body all this time. Congrats."

"Idiot."

Tom and his dreamy eyes smile as he opens the glass door for you, stepping aside so you can go out onto the field and do the performance of your life, which you discover would be more difficult than you thought as both of you approach the table on the left side of the place, where your family - made up of your mom, your dad and your older brother - are with his. So, in silence, and to let them be the ones to carry out the conversation of your supposed relationship, Tom remains standing next to you, leaving a space between Harry and him for you.

"Oh, yeah. Last night I got the iPad with the script of the Devil all the time." You say, to continue the conversation that your brother Ethan started, smiling at you. "My character falls in love with the poor and broken Arvin Russell."

Tom chuckles.

“And (Y/N) is a cold and rich bi—… girl who treats me like shit until I save her from her dad, the reverend and the crazy couple of rapists. I think you will play that role very well, love." And again and against your will, Tom brings you closer to him placing his arm around your waist, so close that his proximity makes you red.

So much so that you must place a hand on your exposed chest so that his gaze does not fall on that specific place.

“Bet your pretty ass I will. And then we will flee together into the sunset with a happy ending after killing 4 people."

His family and yours are too stunned to say a word, but just at the moment when you think they will shout hallelujah to the sky or to mention you are Frenemies, Dom makes a fist and a victory gesture with a loud yes!

“I told you they would be together before they were 25! pay me!" He yells happily at your dad, who, next to him, grunts as he searches for his wallet in his pants.

“Couldn't you wait until you turned 25, honey? It was only a few months away."

"What the hell?" Tom says, watching your father leave a $100 bill in Dom's hand.

"It's a silly thing they did when they were drunk." Nikki says, as she joins her hands in prayer just like your grandfather, just as happy as he. "It was about time you decided to be together."

"I didn't know that Tom could love someone other than Tessa." Your brother jokes.

"I didn't know anyone could love Tom more than Tessa." Harry jokes, but in his eyes you can see that part of him means it.

"Is this serious?" Your mom says, raising an eyebrow.

"It is." Tom says, and his voice is as solemn as his expression. "Mom, Dad, everyone, I want to marry this woman... someday."

Along with the expressions of happiness and surprise, theirs and yours, your brother breaks the silent while looking like a hawk at Tom.

"Her favorite color?"

"Blue." He answers, without missing a second.

"Favorite book?"

"Jane Austin's Pride & Prejudice."

"Coffee, hot or cold?"

"It depends on the season."

"Seafood?"

"Banned forever."

"Very well, you have my blessing to marry my sister." Your brother nods, like a wise old man, while you, foolishly, think of two things, how quickly he responded, and how well he knew you.

"Just that?" You question, partly offended. "Why better not give him 2 cows for my honor?"

"That's a good idea." Tom responds. "We already have a chicken so..."

You snort just like the idea of Tom buying a chicken just because there were no eggs in the store is spinning in your head, but at that very moment, your words die on your lips as Rose, your aunt and your grandfather's eldest daughter, has taken the command of the party to indicate that the most important thing of the night has arrived: the dance that your grandfather and grandmother used to have, when she was still alive.

Like a fairy tale, every couple in love gathers in the center of the garden while the song “Put your head on my shoulder” by Paul Anka begins to float in the London air that is suddenly flooded with love, to such an extent point that threatens to drown you in it.

"Would you like...?" Tom is nervous, and lets the question hang in the air.

Your breathing becomes agitated, it becomes irregular as your parents and his join the other couples, wild as your heart that beats with the fierceness of a caged animal seeking freedom.

You want to say no, but the crystallized look and happiness that you achieve in your grandfather's eyes are the impulse you need to avoid breaking his heart with the truth.

"Okay."

Tom takes your hand gently and guides you to the makeshift dance floor, placing his hands on your waist to imitate the elders.

Inside and out, (Y/N) (Y/L/N) was still as beautiful as the first one he saw you when you were children; but of course, now as adults, everything was different: you were stronger, more mature, more self-confident, wilder and indomitable. But Tom didn't judge your insecurity, he never did, because you had trouble trusting in a future love that could be so real that it seemed a fairy tale - like the ones your father had read to you before bed - as deep as Roy's pain at losing his beloved Jules.

And it is then that Tom realized everything.

That's why you didn't want to be called darling, just because your grandfather used to call his great love that way. Why you never had a boyfriend. Of why you had never wasted your love giving it to someone you knew you would never have a future with, just the way he did with Hannah. Of why you have never been able to give your sincere love to someone else.

Because we're so hopeful at the beginning of things, it seems that there is only one world to gain, nothing to lose, and suddenly, we lose someone whom God knew we deeply love, leaving us with nothing but a void where there must be a beating heart.

And that's when the applause dies down, the silence overwhelms you two, time runs out and life forces you to look into each other's eyes to wonder, without words, why you did the things you did and the things you didn't.

"I'm in love with you."

"Don't."

You say the words at the same time, although they are not the words you expect to hear from the other.

And then you smile sadly, slightly because you no longer have the strength, because your body seems numb from the little alcohol you have drunk and because it seems that the world is leaning to one side with his love confession, but you also smile because Tom still has that adorable face, and a funny eyebrow that you were dying to fix. Just for fun. Just to touch him.

"You're not in love with me, you're just sad about Hannah." You whisper, desperately waiting for the song you have loved for so long to come to an end so you can flee from his arms.

"No, you don't understand, now I can see that it's you, it's always been you." Tom hates himself because he can't put his feelings and his memories into words, but his hands secure you in your place so that you don't leave, not before he can tell you a little of what he was hiding in his mind. “Since we were children I held your hand: in kindergarten, on the way home, to the park around the corner. I don't know why it is now that I can see you, always there in every step of my life, being my best friend even when we said words to annoy each other. I don't know much about love, but I know that it should make you feel good, give you peace, and that's what I feel with you. I feel at home with you, no matter where we are. And we have been in several countries away from home, but you feel like my home. And I am in love with you, and I only ask that you give me the opportunity to love the way you deserve to be loved."

You have a world of words, sharp as a knife, that could kill his confession, but against all, and because this is the first time you feel in love, you lift your hand from his shoulder, a little shaky, to brush your thumb against his brow, soft, delicate and loving, as a lover should be when loving someone for the first time.

"I still hate you."

Tom smiles and you both share a look of hope, staying in the foreground, just to be a participant in the main scene of this beautiful love story that would only be the beginning of a long night in the bright sky of your lives, the one that is like a painting made of watercolors, colors that spill over each other just to create a perfect combination, just like you two together in the eyes of any art lover.

"Not me, no. I love you."

And after that, Tom leans down a bit, feeling the softness of your lips in a real kiss, the first of many to come.

@averyfosterthoughts​ @galaxies-of-the-heart​ @heartofholland​

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: I miss you so much Buster: I miss you too Buster: More than I knew I would Rio: Won't take that too personally, babe 😜 Rio: but seriously, before it was like, this was normal and you being here was the novelty but then I got used to being together everyday Buster: We spoiled ourselves, babe. I wasn't mad about it at the time but like Rio: I know Rio: 😔 Buster: I've been in such a mood since you left, it's a good thing my dad is barely here Rio: Baby Rio: has he spoke to you about any of it yet Buster: Yeah but you can guess how it went without me having to tell you, I'm sure Buster: In essence he's glad to have his house back Buster: Used to only having girls of mine around for the night, like Rio: Yeah, I mean Rio: can't blame him Rio: even if I'd rather be there still but Buster: I reckon Indie was a bit much for him, me and Nance weren't ever like that Buster: No offense to the kid meant Rio: Such 👼s Buster: You know Buster: Golden boy for a reason, babe Buster: Do all my sinning out of doors Rio: Ain't nobody been indoors to tell her init Buster: I told him the score Buster: There won't be any drama if she comes back again Rio: It's alright Rio: She needs to get back to normal here now Rio: Same, I guess Buster: How is it over there? Tell me Rio: Honestly I've just been trying to hide in my room Rio: 'cos once one of them knows they all will Rio: such a bombardment Buster: Yeah Buster: Gotta do it while you can 'cause once the birthdays and shit start there'll be no chance Buster: Is Indie staying with you or what? Rio: Ugh Rio: don't remind me Rio: and the baby, she's late so vague hysteria setting in Rio: Yeah, thank fuck Buster: I don't envy you at all Buster: Anything I can do to distract you, you know I will Rio: You better Rio: putting that in the vows 😉 Buster: Yeah? What else you gonna say? Rio: Spoilers Rio: You know you cutest when you blush Buster: You're cutest when you just wake up and I'm mad I don't get to see that now Rio: I'll send you all the #iwokeuplikedis selfies you want Buster: Don't tease me, babe Buster: Don't say it if you're playing Rio: 'Course I'm not Rio: even if I'm gonna work my angles and lighting to my advantage still Rio: my prerogative, can't have you getting 😬 Buster: Shut up Rio: Wish you could make me Buster: Christ, me too Buster: I already wanna come see you Rio: When is your next break? Buster: Not soon enough Rio: I can always come back Rio: for a weekend or something Rio: I'll get a hotel, like, don't worry Unc Buster: We'll figure it out Buster: I do have a reading week coming up soon so as long as I study too Rio: Yeah, I don't wanna distract you further Rio: I mean I do but also Buster: Gotta meet the fam's newest addition, there's my excuse Rio: Take pics for me Rio: you know I ain't being allowed in with flowers Buster: That's what my sister's for Buster: I'll bring you flowers instead Rio: Stop being cute Buster: I know that ain't what you want Rio: But it makes me miss you more Buster: I need you to miss me Buster: 'Cause I gotta miss you Rio: Trust me, I do Buster: How did we do this for so long before? Buster: Seriously Rio: I don't know Rio: Shouldn't have put a 💍 on it Buster: Shhh Rio: Maybe I wait to drop the bomb when this baby finally gets here Rio: distraction is our best friend Buster: Good luck, babe Buster: Unless she's born tomorrow I reckon its unlikely Buster: Unless you're gonna take the ring off Rio: Get Drew back 'round to fuck it outta her Buster: Not a mental image I need, cheers babe Rio: Alright, curry it is then Buster: I reckon my aunt fucking Drew again is more likely Buster: But you know Rio: Damn Rio: Too real Buster: Fuck thinking about either of them Buster: How's the job hunt going? Rio: Not gone out yet Rio: I know, I know Rio: I'm moping Buster: Baby Rio: I will Rio: but Buster: What can I do to motivate you? Tell me Rio: 😏 Buster: Come on Buster: Use your words Rio: Ugh Rio: I love it when you talk to me like that Buster: I mean it Buster: No more moping Rio: I promise Rio: I'm gonna make you proud of me Buster: I know you will Buster: I already am but shhh 'cause I'm doing tough love right now Rio: 🤤 Buster: I dread to think how much privacy you don't have Buster: It's not even hot it's just annoying Rio: Idk, being a moody cow since I got back has kept everyone keeping distance Rio: not saying you were right or anything Buster: You can say it Rio: It definitely has its perks Buster: Yeah Rio: but cuddling with you right now in this bed would definitely be appreciated Buster: You in mine would be even better 'cause I know we'd be alone for hours yet Rio: The things we could achieve in that time Rio: No slacking there, that would motivate me Buster: It'd distract me shamelessly but I wouldn't be mad about it Rio: I could crack the whip too Rio: it's not like you've actually fallen behind, right? Buster: Nah 'cause not 😇 Buster: course* Rio: Bit hypocritical coming from us but like, calm down then? Getting mad n stressed about things that haven't even happened Buster: 😂 Rio: We've got shit handled, right baby? Buster: Always Rio: Good Rio: Getting my 'fuck everyone else' mentality set for when the inevitable Buster: If you need any tips, like Buster: Borrow my 👑 Rio: 😏 I know, my baby invented that shit Buster: Probably my parents but we don't need to tell anyone that Buster: Least of all them Rio: I mean, obviously gonna need the reminder that they should be our biggest fans but Rio: I don't wanna be the messenger on that one 💀 Buster: I'll do it Buster: Not giving a fuck, remember Rio: I'll remember you always, babe Buster: Don't Buster: You're so cute Rio: I love you, you know Rio: no matter what any of 'em want to say, can't be changed Buster: I love you so fucking much Buster: And I'm gonna marry you one day even if nobody else turns up to the ceremony and its just us Rio: Good Rio: Me too, I actually don't care Rio: I do but if anyone's trying to make it a choice then I'm choosing you over keeping them happy because you matter more Buster: Exactly Rio: I wonder if Edie will turn up when the baby's here Buster: I doubt she'll bring gifts and claim she was guided by a star, like Rio: Alright Rio: true but don't kill my hope out the gate like that Rio: I'm hoping morbid curiosity gets the better of her if nothing else Buster: Sorry, babe Rio: One person I would've liked to see when I walked in the door Rio: soz everyone else Buster: They can't fault you for that even if they might want to for some other shit Rio: Even if she's probably gonna swing on sight, like Buster: I reckon that's a given Buster: But I also know you can handle it Rio: Not like I have a choice, if she hates me she does but it's preferrable to this Buster: You can't still believe she actually hates you Rio: Of course she does Rio: I tried to bone her Da, in her eyes Rio: she had a fucked enough head re. all things him and I made it worse Buster: She loves you, that's why it hurts her Buster: If she hated you she'd be here fronting it out Rio: If only it were that simple, babe Buster: Come on Buster: I ain't saying that's all it is but it's part of it Buster: And its what's gonna let you fix it Rio: Whatever it is Rio: I just wish she'd come back for the others Buster: She ain't gonna stay away for ever Rio: Good luck Buster: Watch her roll in when we all least expect it Rio: I get why she pisses Indie off so much Rio: like, I also get why she does what she does but fucking hell Buster: Yeah Rio: Distract me Rio: I don't wanna think about this anymore either Buster: Think about me Buster: [sends gym selfies] Rio: Thanks baby Rio: the amount that actually helps is telling 😂 Buster: Course it does Buster: I did a heavy work out like Rio: I can tell Rio: Jesus, you're hot Buster: I had to distract myself too Buster: I had so many dreams about you I didn't even wanna move Rio: Gotta take those frustrations out somewhere, right? Rio: Where I'm going wrong, I'm still laying here so frustrated Buster: Well you could work out Buster: Or Buster: Work it out another way Rio: Will you show me how Rio: I need your help Buster: Poor baby Buster: 'Course I will Rio: Seriously Rio: I'm in such a state without you daddy Buster: I bet you are Rio: [Video] See? Rio: I can't do this without you Buster: You really have gotten yourself into a mess haven't you, angel Buster: What are we gonna do with you? Rio: I don't know, what are you gonna do to me, daddy? Buster: I'm about the hands on approach so we're gonna have to get yours out of the way first of all Buster: Need you to focus on me and what I'm trying to teach you Rio: [Pic to show she's done it] Rio: I'm so ready to listen and learn Buster: Good Buster: No half measures, yeah? Rio: No half measures Buster: You're so well behaved Rio: Does that make you happy, daddy? Am I doing a good job? Buster: See me after class for that extra credit Buster: Earning that A* easily Rio: You're such a good teacher Buster: What you gonna have waiting on my desk for me to say thanks? Rio: If I say me will you get mad, sir? Rio: I just wanna show you how much I appreciate all that you've taught me in person Buster: Do you think I should be mad at you? Buster: It sounds like you are just trying to be good Rio: Really good Buster: Okay then start slow, you've gotta be patient, babe I know it's hard Rio: Take me time, I remember Rio: but it feels so good, I want more Buster: I know you do but trust me Rio: I do Rio: you know what's best for me, you always make me feel better Buster: And if I was there I'd be worshiping every inch of you, wouldn't I? That's what you need to do Rio: If you could convince me to get up from off my knees Rio: You want me to make all the noises I would if you were here, baby? Buster: We both know I have in it in me to be that persuasive Buster: Slow but intense, yeah? Buster: Give it everything you've got, vocals included Rio: Okay Rio: Fuck Buster: One finger is all you're allowed first, don't be rushing through this Rio: but daddy Buster: You can add more when you I say you can Buster: You're here to learn, right? Rio: Yes, sir Rio: Sorry, sir Rio: Please can I spank myself, just once, because I deserve it Buster: Okay, you are being good enough Rio: I won't leave any marks Rio: because it's yours and only you're allowed to do that Buster: Well remembered Rio: How could I forget Rio: I can still feel that lesson Buster: I wish we could go over it again anyway Buster: Soon though Rio: You promise? Buster: I swear, baby Buster: You know I need you Rio: Does it hurt for you too, daddy? Buster: So badly Rio: Me too Rio: it's the kinda hurt only you can make better Buster: I'm right here, baby Buster: I know what you need Buster: You can do it, no more teasing, I promise Rio: Yeah? Rio: Please can you make yourself cum with me so I can imagine you're doing it inside me Rio: that's what I need Buster: Together, yeah? Buster: I want that too Rio: You've got me so close Buster: [sends pics] Buster: Look how you've got me Rio: 😻 Rio: Why aren't you inside of me right now Buster: Close your eyes and I am Rio: Are you using the toy I got you? Buster: You know it, babe Rio: Good Rio: Fuck I'm making so much noise Buster: Me too Buster: I can't stop Rio: Don't stop Rio: Lose control for me Buster: Jesus Rio: Tell me how good it feels Buster: It's so fucking Buster: My god Rio: So soft and tight 'round your thick cock yeah? Rio: Almost like the real thing Buster: Nothing makes me feel as good as you but Rio: 'Course not Rio: it's like we were made for each other you feel so right Buster: We were baby Buster: That's why I don't want anyone else however long I have to wait for you Rio: Keep talking like that Rio: I'm gonna cum for you Buster: I love you and I'll always love you Rio: Oh my God Rio: Buster Buster: Just me and you forever, Rio Buster: That's all we need Rio: For fucking ever Rio: I'm going to marry you Buster: Fuck Rio: I love you so fucking much Buster: I can't stop thinking about that ring on your finger while you're fucking yourself for me Rio: Baby Rio: You like seeing that I'm yours? Buster: I love it Buster: I love you Rio: You're so good you're so good Buster: It's you babe, all of it Rio: You're mine, aren't you? Buster: I'm yours, Rio Rio: Shit Rio: It feels so strong, I'm scared to let this out Rio: I won't have any control Buster: Lose control for me too, baby Rio: For you Buster: Just for me Rio: No one else exists for me Rio: it's always been you, Buster Buster: Tell me again Rio: You're the only one I've ever wanted Buster: Oh fuck Rio: I'd always think about you, anyone else I'd been with Rio: even if I tried to stop myself, I couldn't help it, my brain always went there, back to you Buster: I know Buster: I felt it too you know that, yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: you wanted me so bad Buster: The only girl I did want Rio: It drove me insane thinking I would never get to have you Rio: more than that kiss Buster: I'd get to have you every night but not like this Buster: Not real enough Rio: That's so fucking hot Rio: I wanna make every fantasy you had about me whilst you were fucking yourself real Buster: Only if I can for you too Buster: I'll never forget what it was like to first touch you or taste you Buster: I thought I'd die Buster: I'd have been happy to Buster: 'Cause that's what heaven is. You are Rio: You're literally perfection, a dream come to life Rio: I feel so lucky I get to spend my life with you Buster: Baby Rio: Yes? Buster: I just Buster: I don't have any words left Rio: Then stop talking and cum for me Rio: I know you need to, moan for me Buster: I have to Buster: It's so loud but I don't care Rio: Let them know who you belong to baby, who got you like this Buster: I'll get over being able to say your name like this Buster: As much as I need to Buster: never* (thats hilarious me just changing the meaning with my typos like) Rio: You don't need to, it's my favourite sound Rio: I intend to make you make it every day Buster: Promise? Rio: Promise Rio: You're so beautiful, Buster, you know that Buster: You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen Buster: Not just girl, anything Rio: I know you mean that Rio: and I love you Buster: I really fucking love you Rio: I can't wait to be your wife Buster: Soon, baby Rio: Yeah? Tell me about it Buster: I'm gonna make you happier than you ever reckoned you could feel Buster: Give you everything Rio: Yes baby Buster: And I'll wear a ring too and everyone will know that I belong as much to you as you do to me Buster: We won't have to be apart again ever Rio: You're making me cum, oh fuck please I feel like I'm gonna pass out this is so fucking good, don't stop Buster: I'm gonna make you cum every day, as many times as I can Buster: I won't ever stop Rio: I'm begging you fuck every hole I have they all belong to you every inch of me is yours forever Buster: Jesus fucking Christ Buster: Please Rio: Oh God Daddy I'm sucking on my fingers because I taste so sweet Rio: I wish they were yours and I wish you could taste me too Buster: If I don't stop moaning soon my voice is gonna go I want you to know that Buster: and God, I just want you Rio: I'm sorry daddy I'm just such a dirty little whore for you Buster: Cum for me now Buster: Cum with me Rio: I've never been this loud Buster: You're so fucking hot Rio: It really is all for you Buster: Tell me Rio: Everything I do is to turn you on Rio: to make you want me Rio: so you'll fuck me so good like you do and make me cum over and over and over Buster: Babe you're so Buster: I can't Rio: Good can't? Buster: The best Rio: That's alright then Buster: Never stop Rio: I promise babe Buster: You're so perfect Buster: Fuck me Rio: Soon Buster: I can't wait to be with you all the time Buster: I'm gonna buy us a house and fuck you in every square inch Rio: That's all I want Buster: All our neighbours are gonna know us Buster: If you think you're being loud right now, you aren't Buster: Not compared to how its gonna be Rio: Fuck, baby Rio: I might die Rio: every time I think you can't make me cum any more than you have you prove me wrong Buster: I know that's how you wanna go Buster: We can go together Buster: Starting right here Rio: As far as death pacts go, pretty fucking sexy Rio: suck it, Romeo and Juliet Buster: The only way my competitive streak will have it Rio: Works for me Rio: not up for living without you really, if we're taking it to this morbid place Buster: You don't have to Buster: I'm not going anywhere Buster: Not without you Rio: Keep this on the downlow though, babe, the engagement is enough for 'em to handle Buster: If what's mine is yours then that includes my life Buster: Technically Rio: Interesting, like to see you argue it in court for some black widow Rio: not just 'cos you'd be hot and I gotta keep my eye on her Buster: I know you would Rio: Just very interested in the judicial system, thanks Buster: Okay, babe Rio: 😒 Buster: When I get to uni I'll take you to library Buster: You'll love it Buster: Once I get started reading from those law books then you'll properly understand what horny feels like, right? Rio: Mmm Rio: Shut up 😣 Buster: You're so cute Rio: I can't help it Rio: I like seeing you get passionate about things Rio: and you're very persuasive, as you mentioned Buster: I really am gonna fuck you all over that campus Rio: 🤤 Rio: Better than joining a wanky society Buster: Better than anything they could offer me, honestly Buster: You know how you make me feel Rio: Leave that off the personal statement though Rio: Probably be into it, love some self-confidence for a chance Buster: It's gotten me this far, like Rio: Can't say better than that, I reckon Buster: Exactly Rio: Who else can say they're fucking me? Buster: Cunts can try and say it but I'd call bullshit Buster: You're mine Rio: Yep Rio: Totally yours Buster: I know a lot of things are shit right now and I probably shouldn't say this but I'm really happy Rio: I feel it too Rio: usually feeling happy just feels stupid like bitch wait and see but even though I know some things are bad now and there's potentially more to come Rio: it still feels right Buster: Yeah Buster: Like whatever happens I don't have to handle it on my own so it won't be that bad anyway Rio: You don't have to, ever again Rio: that's a serious vow Buster: I'll make the same one to you Buster: Right fucking now Buster: Whatever you need babe, whenever Rio: I know Rio: it feels good, doesn't it Buster: Literally the best Buster: I've always told myself I can do anything, like you've met my parents, kind of a given, but I properly believe it when I'm with you Rio: Good Rio: 'cos you can Buster: You too, angel Rio: I feel it Rio: I'm not saying I've got everything worked out magically but Rio: I actually do believe you Buster: Good, 'cause I said I'd motivate you Buster: I'm not trying to fail at it Rio: I reckon you're good 😏 Rio: add another win to the tally, like Buster: Will do Buster: But if we're keeping score don't forget to add your own points Rio: Oh yeah? How'd I do in the end? Buster: I've never cum so hard or so much without you actually being here before Rio: I'll take it Rio: 'til we're back together, like Buster: It makes missing you a little bit easier Buster: For today at least Rio: Yeah Rio: you know I'm always here Rio: we'll get through it Buster: Yeah Buster: I know you are and we will Rio: You'll be done before you know it Rio: we should go away, in the summer Buster: Great idea Buster: Especially now we can acknowledge we're in the same place together, like Rio: 😂 Rio: I worry how none of them could piece that shit together Buster: They didn't wanna Buster: Simple as Rio: Can't relate Rio: too nosy for that Buster: You're the only one who can get away with telling me what to do though Buster: If any of the rest of the fam tried it they know what'd happen so Buster: Even when it ain't something as important as this Rio: Yeah Rio: I promise to only use my power for good Rio: mostly Buster: I was gonna say Buster: Please be bad sometimes, like Rio: Good for us Rio: same thing Buster: Yeah Buster: Do I need to use my powers of sending a fancy fruit basket to your fam for what they just heard from your room? Rio: 😳 Rio: Send me one too for sustenance because I can never leave this room again now Buster: Poor baby Buster: I'll send you everything you could possibly need Buster: and add some earplugs for the rest of them Rio: So thoughtful Buster: Who's actually home? Like how much damage control are we talking about? Rio: Can't say I checked before starting Rio: idek, hopefully they were all very busy somewhere else Buster: I'll cross my fingers for you, babe Rio: Whatever Rio: it was too good to feel too bad about Buster: No argument there Buster: Someone could have literally walked in and I wouldn't have been able to stop Rio: Shh don't say that Rio: Gonna turn me on all over again Buster: Sorry but its true Rio: Not that sorry Rio: Add it to the fantasies list Buster: Noted Buster: I should shower, the state of me Rio: I should join you Rio: Video chat? Buster: You're full of good ideas, aren't you? Rio: It's been said

[resssistance]

I know that my opinion, as a one Shoma fan in a midst of shomaposting, can be easily dismissed for bias reasons. But I still want to say some things regarding this ask and one of the previous ones (sorry about hijacking your asks again @petitmimosa 🙏)

Okay. Was what Shoma had said about young women right? No. It's not okay to call all of them stupid or scary or boycrazy, essentially. He shouldn't have said that. Yes, people can take offence with it and stop supporting him, it's totally valid. As a woman myself, I'm not a fan of the things he said either. But as said above, most (not all) people like bring this up not as a good faith argument, but as a reason to hate on him, to justify their takes on how he doesn't deserve anything he achieves etc.

Because if those people truly cared about the morality of this situation, they should've also mention how in the same breath he said that he hates animals, hates kids; doesn't like relationships and people in them, doesn't really have deep connections with other people, he doesn't trust them; the world isn't good and he doesn't like humans in general; doesn't understand and doesn't like himself.

And this is the guy that was put under a lot of pressure and expectations he didn't know how to manage; haven't been doing well for a while before it; parted with coaches who'd been practically raising him; decided to go coachless after all tries; didn't enjoy skating and was thinking about retirement; probably some other things we don't even know about. A couple of months from that IDF 2019 happened.

Does all of this tells you something about the place he was in at that moment? Don't you think it's shoud've been more of a concern? Does this give you, not an excuse, but a different perspective on why he said some things he might not necessarily truly believe in? Does any of this gets mentioned when you ask on twitter (and here too) why people shit on him so much? No, you only get 'yeah, he's a fucking misogynist, he said he hates women, probably just an incel'. And he's a public figure, he will never be free of it, apology or not. You know, 280 characters still can allow some nuance, but only if you want to. Mental health awareness my ass.

And just to be clear, you absolutely can criticize the things he said and be upset with him for that. Hell, you have plenty things to criticize his skating for, he's not some flawless skater and a lot of his fans are aware of that, I promise. You can criticize his scoring too (but also remember that skaters are not at fault for scoring issues). You can also just dislike him for no particular reason, it happens too. But it should not be used to justify all that venom and hatred people put out in the open because he outplaced their fave or just because they feel like it today. That's where the problem is.

If eventually it'll turn out he is a misogynist after all, I will put my clown wig back on and will shut up forever. I won't support him anymore. You won't hear a good word about him. This is not about blind support.

But I also want to remind you, that we could never know for sure, is he like this or not at his heart. We are not his friends, not his family. We only see the persona people put out in the world, we can never truly know if people are who we think they are. Someone can be any -ist possible and you would never tell. You can only hope your judgement of the character is right. And I choose to give Shoma benefit of the doubt and believe in him, until something can change my mind.

Quickly adressing another thing: if at any point Marin will say that she was mistreated in any way by Shoma (which relationships, mind you, have not been confirmed by them much less the details and dates that also are none of our damn business), I couldn't be supporting him anymore either, obviously. Not with the passion I am now, not with my heart, not in good faith and with clear conscience. And I will fly to Nagoya/ Champéry to kick his short ass myself. (But for now, please, let's not call a 17yo Shoma predatory for something sounding like a joke, that he might or might not have even said on some dinner between families)

sorry to bring back the shoma videogame shit, but i would say that it's not completely insane of people, especially women, to be offended by what shoma said, and i mean, you can stop supporting/not support an athlete for like literally any reason. but at the end of the day it's up to people to decide who they want to support and what they choose to accept, the same way that there's people still supporting nathan after his lowkey homophobic remarks (one could argue that well, nathan unlike shoma apologized, but we all know that that apology was scripted af). i'm rambling a bit but basically i think we can understand why people dislike shoma, the same way i don't think we should frame people who like shoma as like, disgusting misogynists lmao

My issue is how they keep bringing this up like they just need a reason to hate on him, when the boy has said nothing in over 3 years and otherwise has never shown any misogynistic behavior.

That's how the world works nowadays though, make one mistake and you're done.

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: I need a fucking drink Buster: Please tell me you aren't working Rio: Be helpful if I was Rio: Barmaid, remember Buster: There's only so many times I can buy you a drink from that side though Buster: I've had a shit day, yeah, but it ain't gonna be better if I turn into that cunt drinking alone, like Rio: Never-ending supply of sad company in this gaff, babe Rio: What's up? Buster: You don't wanna hear about it Buster: I can't say her name to you, can I Rio: I mean, yeah, gonna need another barmaid if you want sympathy for your domestic Rio: Know too much to be impartial Buster: It's not sympathy I want Rio: Use it as euphemistically as you like Buster: I don't mean that either Buster: Fuck's sake Buster: I just wanna sort this out Rio: Then hadn't you better talk to her? Buster: What the fuck do you think I've been doing? Buster: Some twat was flirting with her in Coppers and I don't have a leg to stand on Buster: Same goes for her wanting to keep things going casual, with my rep what am I meant to say? Buster: No thanks you're alright Rio: Like I said Rio: Got the wrong girl Rio: You expect me to care? Buster: Are you trying to tell me you don't? Buster: Come on Buster: Just tell me what to do Rio: Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying Rio: Sort yourself out, McKenna Rio: you're turning into a real sad act Buster: Fuck off Rio: Honestly Rio: Miss me with your boring marital woes Rio: Poor bitch is 18 and you're a cunt Rio: why would she want to be tied to you Buster: She doesn't that's what I'm saying Buster: But she won't go away either Rio: Whatever Rio: Ghost her, continue to cheat on her, what's it matter? Rio: Never struggled before Buster: Fuck me you're annoying Rio: You're stupid Rio: and full of yourself Rio: more fool her too if she wants to be treated like this much of a mug Buster: Fuck you Buster: I don't know why I bother with you Rio: Sure you don't Buster: What's that meant to mean? Rio: Whatever you want it to Buster: Bullshit Buster: Say what you wanna say and stop being such a fucking coward Rio: Me? Please Rio: You're the one that can't even dump a bitch Buster: Shut up Rio: It's pathetic Rio: You're pathetic, Buster Buster: 'Cause you're not Rio: Least I'm not dragging down whoever I can with me Buster: Just me, yeah? Rio: Piss off Rio: it's your sin as much as mine Rio: ain't my fault if you can't commit to stopping Buster: It's your fault that you can't control yourself Buster: I only have to look at you and you're on top of me Rio: Ha pot kettle first off Rio: and not like you can't say no Rio: take some responsibility for yourself and get over this pity party Rio: because I don't care Rio: you think Erin will? Good luck Buster: I told you I liked her and I wanted to stop Buster: But you can't stay away from me, can you Rio: Well, that's the downside to fucking your family Rio: better warn the others, oh wait Rio: they're not that fucked up Buster: You reckon? Buster: I've got news for you, babe, the whole lot of you are Rio: Yeah, you and Nancy are SO well adjusted Rio: Like before, you ain't got a leg to stand on so I'd quit whilst you have the smallest shred of dignity left Buster: I ain't trying to say I am Buster: You're the one chatting shit about sin and virtue like it ain't just more bullshit excuses Rio: You're sure trying to put all the blame on me Buster: I'm not gonna make it easy for you, sorry Rio: Just for yourself Rio: Don't worry, no one expects any more from you Buster: Good Rio: That it then? Buster: Depends if you've got any more bullshit you wanna pass off as wisdom, like Rio: I've got nothing to say to you Buster: Sure? Say it while you can, babe, 'cause it won't even work on Indie much longer Rio: Fuck off Rio: I'm not the one that's all alone Buster: I'm not the one who can't be Rio: Sure about that? Rio: Nah, one pitiful 'real' relationship (in which you can't even keep it in your pants) after a different girl every night and you've got it all worked out Rio: Sort your own shit before coming for mine Buster: Why wouldn't I be better off with everyone dragging me down? Buster: Sort yourself out before nobody needs you anymore Buster: 'cause fuck knows what you're gonna do then Rio: Yeah, EVERYONE ELSE is the problem Rio: not you Rio: Genius! Buster: In this family, yeah Rio: Fuck off back to London then Buster: And do what, work in bar or take my clothes off for money? Rio: Don't think you've got the personality for it, babe Rio: but feel free to try Buster: Leave that to you, trying hard enough for all of us, like Rio: You're not 12 Rio: so uncool to care Rio: done you so well Buster: Neither are you Buster: Just fucking grief for her Rio: Fuck off Rio: Then what? Get a pointless Uni degree and a vanilla man like you and my life will be so sorted Buster: Pointless for you Buster: Not my fault if you ain't smart enough to keep up, babe Rio: Gutted, like Rio: Keep pretending you've got it all figured out Rio: sure that'll keep you warm when you're miserable with your shit job and shit bird Buster: I haven't figured out anything Buster: Feel free to keep judging Rio: Yeah, no shit Rio: Your life's a fucking trainwreck and you've got the audacity to lecture me Buster: 'Cause you're pretending yours ain't Buster: Be real for a fucking second, it won't kill you Rio: With you? Rio: Why bother, Buster Rio: what's it achieved Buster: Fuck off then Buster: Don't bother chatting to me at all Rio: I won't Rio: You started this Buster: And you just had to finish it, yeah? Buster: Well done Rio: Why should you get to make all the calls Rio: I've got some fucking say whether you care to listen or not Buster: All I do is listen Buster: Try hearing yourself Rio: What use is it? Rio: All just talk, yeah Buster: What else is there? You think I wanna see you? Buster: I fucking hate you Rio: No you don't Rio: might wish you did but that feeling's fucking mutual Buster: Now who ain't listening Buster: I know you heard me Rio: You say a lot of things Buster: And I mean them Buster: Stay away from me, Rio Rio: Now who's being a coward Buster: Call it what you like Rio: Call it how I see it Rio: because you started this wanting to see me Rio: you're weak and you're a coward Buster: Shut up Buster: I can change my mind, you're not that special, babe Rio: Yeah, watch you change it back tomorrow Rio: Been here before Buster: If you really could see everything you reckon you can you'd know that I wanted to see you 'cause I was mad at Erin Buster: It's not even about you Rio: Whatever Rio: She's over you too Buster: Maybe Rio: Clearly Rio: Always playing for time, babe Rio: Won't you feel smug when Chloe is the only one who gives a damn Buster: Says you who's stringing this out 'cause you can't bear the thought of not having me in your inbox Rio: Good one Rio: Not as if you ever left Rio: Don't take up smack, like Buster: You either Buster: If I'm weak what the fuck are you? Rio: I'm not out here pretending otherwise Buster: Be a first Buster: You pretend about everything else Rio: Takes one to know one Buster: Hilarious Buster: Grow up, Cavante Rio: You first Buster: Watch me Buster: Christ, I liked you better when you were a kid, least you were real Rio: Not helping yourself with the sick comments there Rio: but go off Buster: Keep hiding behind all that bullshit, babe Buster: Getting you so far Rio: Not the one who can't stand where they're from Buster: Where am I from? Take your pick Rio: God, we're really going x factor sob story with it now? Rio: Never had a Home, don't know who I am Buster: Fuck you Buster: I've got my pick of houses too like Rio: Good for you, babe Buster: You're the one who don't know where to put me, babe Buster: Is it don't come in here with that accent and that face or is it remember where you're from? Rio: I'm tired of trying when you ain't Buster: How am I not? Rio: What's it matter now Buster: Why say it then? Buster: It obviously still matters to you Rio: Not to you Buster: What would you know? Rio: Give me a sec and I'll pick out my faves Buster: You gonna take everything as Gospel or stick to dismissing it all 'cause I 'say a lot of things' Buster: You don't get to have it both ways Rio: Just you, is it? Buster: Whatever you say Rio: Pussy Buster: Fuck you Buster: I came here 'cause I wanted to tell her about us Buster: Without a repeat of what happened with your mate connecting the dots Rio: Why didn't you just say that Buster: 'Cause you never shut up long enough to let me Rio: Shut up Rio: you managed to say plenty else just fine Buster: You started it Rio: I swear to God Rio: not in the mood boy Buster: Seriously Buster: One mention of her and you're ready to attack everything about me Rio: You can't say you expected anything else Buster: Yeah, well, if you think so little of me, why should I bother Rio: So what, I'm not full of shit now? Rio: 'cos if that's what you're saying, have it in writing Rio: consolation but a prize nonetheless Buster: You're not wrong Rio: You don't reckon you owe me specifics on that? Buster: You're really gonna make me spell it all out? Rio: If you're comfortable leaving so much room for misinterpretation that's fine Buster: Don't act like you don't know exactly what I'm saying Rio: Who knows? Buster: Rio Buster: Come on Buster: I've smashed up enough shit around me for one convo Rio: Alright, alright Rio: Can't blame me for trying Rio: well, probably could but Buster: I don't Rio: Do Rio: but it's 50/50, yeah? Rio: It's just a fucking mess Buster: Not all of it Rio: No Rio: Sometimes that's all that doesn't seem a total mess but Rio: can't be right, can it Buster: It feels like it is Rio: I know Buster: You've never felt wrong to me Buster: I'm sorry for all that shit I just said Rio: Me too Rio: I can't even contemplate thinking of all the nasty and plain wrong shit I said, never mind reading it back, fuck Rio: but I am Buster: Don't Buster: I can't go back to lying to you and pretending like I don't want you Buster: All of that went on for so long Buster: I shouldn't have been trying to start again now Rio: I can't blame you Rio: not as if I haven't Rio: and it is the technically 'right' thing to do but Rio: be lying if I said I wasn't fucking miserable Rio: or that the thought of having to pretend, forever or near enough, whatever, didn't make me wanna die Buster: Don't say that Rio: Sorry Rio: not trying to put shit on you Rio: just the truth Buster: I know but I can't do this without you Rio: Not going anywhere Rio: people still need me for now, like Buster: Yeah Buster: I need you so much Buster: I'm so fucking tired, babe Rio: I know baby Rio: Where are you? Buster: Home Buster: In the wreckage Rio: Let me come help Buster: You don't have to Buster: Not actually your fault Rio: Let's be real Rio: 50/50, easy on that one Rio: Swear, no funny business Rio: Won't even look at you Buster: What if I want you to Rio: As long as you make that really clear, reckon we're out of that grey area Rio: Are you hurt or just the house Buster: Could literally crawl on broken glass for you right now if that's clear and dramatic enough, like Buster: But you know me, never hurt Rio: Don't Rio: On both counts Rio: I'm sorry Buster: I'm sorry Buster: Come away with me instead Buster: We can just leave and leave it all behind us Rio: Can we? Buster: I don't care Buster: All that matters is how many days you can give me Rio: I don't know, doesn't really matter, shit job anyway Rio: but one I work all the fucking time so, got plenty time off Buster: I'll film you, you can make more money that you would've Rio: That's alright, don't have to Rio: you can keep up with your uni work, yeah, but what are you going to tell her? Rio: casual or not, like Buster: Just let me, yeah? Buster: I'll tell her the truth Buster: I have to get away and she's not invited Buster: She's got her own uni work to worry about Rio: Nah Rio: True, alright Rio: let's go Buster: Pack for the sun Rio: Serious? Buster: I said I'm taking you away Buster: Not the next county over Rio: Buster Rio: you're sure you're sure? Buster: Babe Buster: Of course I am Rio: Okay Rio: not to be childish but no takebacks Rio: can't leave me stranded, like Buster: I'm booking our return flight now too Buster: Together Rio: I can't wait to be just us Buster: I know Buster: Me either Buster: The flight's not until tonight but it'll be worth waiting for Rio: Don't suppose you're gonna let me give you half? Buster: Fuck that Buster: I'm not telling you where we're going yet either Rio: Boo! Buster: You'll like it Buster: I promise Rio: I'll trust you Buster: Yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: just this once Buster: You can make it a habit, like Buster: If you want Rio: You reckon? Buster: Yeah Rio: If I don't end up at Butlins, I'll think about it Buster: Give me some credit Rio: 😂 Rio: Don't knock Skeggy 'til you've tried it, babe Buster: If that's your way of saying you're gonna make me try it Buster: Don't Rio: Rude, let me unbook that... Rio: My bank balance will stretch a little further with an IOU hol, thanks you Buster: I love it when you owe me Rio: 😒 Buster: Why pout when you can pack Buster: 😂 Rio: Pack light so you have an excuse to shop whilst you're there Rio: plus someone has to sort your gaff or your parents are gonna think someone's kidnapped you Buster: Like I need an excuse to shop Buster: Pack light so there's less to take off Buster: How much do you reckon I'm worth to them in ransom demands? Rio: I mean, added bonus Rio: I'd say leave a note and see but Rio: might just be letting yourself in for a harsh wake up call there Buster: Let's be real we'd be back before they saw it Buster: I can't kidnap you for that long Rio: Sadly Rio: My 'rents just thinking I've found myself wherever the fuck we're going Rio: like Namaste, bitch Buster: Better than what they could be thinking Buster: How many rich white boys you got in your back pocket, like Buster: Make for an interesting dinner table convo Rio: Usually their fathers but Rio: don't need to cast those kinda aspersions on yours Rio: really get the crockery flying, like Buster: Don't tell me Buster: I don't wanna know Rio: 🤐 Rio: Jokes, babe Buster: I know Buster: But I hate thinking about it Rio: Sorry Rio: Don't Buster: It's not your fault Buster: It's them Buster: And me Rio: It's probably not as bad as you think, if that helps at all Buster: And I don't get to be jealous anyway, do I Rio: You can be Rio: but about as effective as mine Buster: If you wanna add hypocrite to the list of things I am, yeah Rio: Worse things to be Rio: Not done it properly for ages anyway Buster: Yeah Rio: Don't be mad Buster: I swear I ain't Buster: Not at you Rio: But I don't want you to be at all Rio: distraction time Buster: What do you want? Rio: I want you to be happy Buster: You make me feel so good, don't worry Rio: I'm going to make you feel like you've never felt, trust Rio: No one or nothing in the way Buster: Fuck Buster: I wish I'd booked an earlier flight now Rio: Patience Rio: can always kick it cliche and mile high Buster: Try and stop me Buster: I'll get us a blanket and fuck you right there, I don't care Rio: Boy Buster: I told you before, I can't help it Rio: I know Rio: but just know you're gonna be the death of me Rio: Fuck Buster: That's just the start of what I'm gonna do to you, babe Rio: I've missed you Rio: I know I saw you last night Buster: I know that don't matter Buster: 'Cause I feel it Rio: As long as you do too Rio: then that's alright Buster: I really fucking do Rio: Okay, Indie is sorted Rio: when can I come over Buster: Now Rio: Coming Buster: Good Buster: I need you here Rio: I need you Buster: I know Buster: But you can have me soon Rio: Not about to take no for an answer Buster: I'm not about to say no Rio: 💔 if you did Buster: I don't ever want to say no to you Rio: I have that affect Rio: who could say no to this face, right Buster: Christ knows I can't Rio: Don't worry, it's mutual Rio: So cute, like 😘 Buster: Don't start with that again, like Rio: You love it Rio: and that wittle face Rio: just the truth Buster: The truth is that I can't even be mad Rio: Yeah you know you cute boy Buster: I know you are Rio: Nah Rio: so 💪 me Buster: 😂 Buster: 'course you are babe Rio: 👊 gonna see Buster: You wanna play rough now, is it? Buster: Alright Rio: You needed so much convincing there, babe Buster: Can you blame me? Rio: No, you know how I like it Buster: I know how you love it Rio: Stop 😳 Buster: You get me so worked up, I'm only playing fair Rio: When we ever played fair? Buster: Trying to be so good for you now though Buster: 😇 Rio: Okay babe Rio: gonna have fun coming for your halo then Buster: You know it Rio: if i'm really nice can i have a clue where we going Buster: How nice are we talking about? Rio: Got a lot to make up for Rio: you tell me how nice i need to be Buster: I've gotta give you clues to that too? Buster: I reckon you know exactly what to do Rio: Alright Rio: Lemme unpack one of your surprises for now Buster: Fuck Buster: No way I'm arguing Rio: You ain't even seen it yet Buster: I don't need to Rio: Put it back then, shall I? Buster: You know that's not what I meant Rio: 😂 Buster: I want it everything you can give me Rio: You can have it all Rio: I've told you, it's yours Buster: Swear Rio: Cross my heart Buster: How far away are you? Rio: Not far Rio: if this thing's as hard to take off as it was to get on you're gonna be mad tho Buster: it's coming off even if I have to rip it Rio: you better not its expensive Buster: I'll replace it Rio: I got it like that, huh daddy? Buster: It's the least I can do Buster: You know I want you to have everything Rio: Such a gentleman yeah Buster: Last thing on my mind right now Rio: I'll keep that to myself Buster: Not for long, you'll be letting my neighbours in on all our secrets like Rio: If you really care, can think of a few ways you can shut me up Buster: Yeah? Buster: Tell me Rio: Well you can grab me by the throat or fuck it Rio: choice is yours, like Buster: Grabbing you anywhere just makes you louder but since the choice is mine and I don't give a fuck who hears us Rio: Glad I'm in the backseat not the driver's again Buster: And I'm glad my house is empty 'cause I'm gonna have to fuck you in every room Rio: 🤤 Rio: Gotta make tonigh come faster somehow Buster: Exactly Buster: As long as you don't Buster: I wanna take my time with you, babe Rio: Is that an order? Buster: Did it sound like one? Rio: Gonna have to be 'cos I can't make no promises Rio: Unless you let me have the first for free, you can watch Buster: Alright Buster: 'Cause I'm such a gent like Rio: Of course Rio: then I'll know you're definitely as needy as I am Buster: You don't already? Rio: Got to be sure Rio: How embarrassing to be the only desperate one, like Buster: [Sends pics] Buster: Your hero aren't I Buster: Are you sure yet? Rio: Sure I need this cabbie to step on it Rio: fucking hell, Buster Buster: You gotta stop saying my name when you aren't here Rio: Just making it up for all the times I couldn't say it Buster: Jesus, Rio Rio: Told you I missed you Buster: I already believed you, baby Rio: Maybe this time you won't forget Buster: I never did Rio: Don't leave me again okay? Buster: I won't Buster: I can't Rio: I swear I'll let you go one day Rio: just not yet Buster: Don't Rio: I know, let's not talk about it Buster: I'm telling you, don't let me go, okay? Rio: I can keep you? Buster: Nothing makes sense without you Buster: Just stay, yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: I don't want to go either Buster: Good Rio: Let me in Rio: Freezing Buster: One second

[punkscowardschampions]

Fraze & Ali

Fraze being a real cunt

Fraze: Sort it out for fuck's sake. Ali joined the chat 101 minutes ago Ali: Nah, youse the ones having to deal with her, so I shan't Fraze: Yeah I am so stop being a twat. Fraze: Or stay round Caleb's and really do ma in. Ali: 😂🖕  Unlucky Ali: And I am, I'll drop the kids round at some point so youse can see them but I've got shit to do so I won't be staying Fraze: Big of you. Fair dues though throwing a tantrum can be an all dayer when you're such a brat. Ali: Boo hoo, you're the one crying to me 'cos you can't stomach her for five seconds Ali: Give a shit, Fraze, this doesn't involve you Fraze: I was trying to appeal to you 'cause it's Christmas and dad wants you there but fuck off then. Ali: That's the spirit Ali: Why would I wanna be there? I'll see dad, and everyone else who isn't being mad cunty, in my own time Ali: I've got no need to commit to another day of this shite Fraze: Keep being a selfish cunt it's not like I want you there after you threw me under the bus calling me one of ma's failures Ali: Yeah? Glad I won't be missed then, no hurt feelings all round Ali: And go to ma for comfort, she'll happily tell you the truth will set you free on that score Fraze: I'm not the one whose proper hurt. She is. You don't give a shit but the rest of us do. Do me a favor and gimme a time you're coming so I can be out. Ali: Well she ain't the only one but the only one that matters, right? Ali: Then console her with how much of a success you are, console yourself whilst you're at it Fraze: Fuck you. You're such a spoiled bitch. You're hurt 'cause what she told you to man up and tell Ro Drew's a cheating scumbag woe's you Fraze: Just 'cause you feel guilty no need to make ma feel it worse Ali: I'm not the one crying 'cos I've not got my way here Ali: Its hilarious you believe everything she tells you 'cos that ain't the conversation I had with her Ali: Like she needs any help with her guilt complex Fraze: Aren't you? Ruining christmas 'cause you didn' t get your way for once ain't no better. Fraze: I'm surprised you wanna bother bringing your kids around if she's such a shit mum Ali: Who's ruining anything? She doesn't want me there, you don't, like I said, I'll make the effort to see the people who want to see me too Ali: Well I'm all for second chances, even if she thinks they're bullshit Fraze: Act like it then. Give her one. Ali: I am. Ali: She hasn't taken it yet Fraze: You haven't offered it. All you've done is avoided her Ali: That's how you see it. You don't live here, don't act like you're involved in this family any more. She sees me multiple times a week, she's had ample opportunity, I'm not the one hiding Fraze: Neither do you. Until Caleb upsets you and you come running back. You see her too. Why's it all on her? Ali: Grow up. Ali: I'll make myself and my children homeless, shall I? Ali: Not all of us bum the moral high ground as much as you, you moron Ali: Because its never on her Ali: She needs to learn to apologize when she's the one in the wrong, its not hard Fraze: You're the idiot that needs to grow up. Fraze: If its so easy do it Fraze: You can't even own the shit you said Fraze: Except her to kiss your feet though don't ya? Fraze: Hypocrite Ali: No, because I'm NOT in the wrong Ali: Keep up Ali: I know what I said Ali: and I haven't felt the need to be telling tales on what she said Ali: which is evidently all she's been doing so yeah, I'm good pal Fraze: Fuck you. She didn't rat you out, princess I overheard her telling dad why he's precious fave wouldn't be at the table Ali: Then you shouldn't be so nosy, should you Fraze: Yeah its all my bad. None of yours. Get a fucking clue. Ali: What's this got to do with you? Fraze: Oh fuck all except I wanted a nice family Christmas for my kids like we used to have Fraze: I'm the selfish one of course Ali: You aren't going to find it here Ali: you're not a child, any more, it isn't going to be that fantasy you've got in your head Ali: if you wanted that, take 'em to disney world Fraze: Cheers for the ma impression while she's radio silent Fraze: But don't speak on my childhood or how I raise my kids again 'cause you know less than nothing about either Ali: Please, you're 4 years older than me, don't act like I wasn't there Ali: You don't get to control the narrative Fraze: Why not you are Fraze: You don't get to tell me what's a fantasy Ali: Believe it if it makes you any happier Ali: evidently not Ali: it was what it was for all of us, we can all say how we found it but the stories aren't gonna add up and that'll create dissonance, hohum Ali: it doesn't matter either way Fraze: No it was what it was for you 3 and it was what it was for Joe, Bea and me Fraze: which matters to me Fraze: even if you're an ungrateful cunt these days Fraze: and apparently always were Ali: Yeah yeah yeah, and it was different for ma and da Ali: like I said, no one wants your war stories Ali: its different for us, you all agree, so stop pushing your bullshit onto us making us try to 'learn' from you Fraze: But it's fine for you to spout all your bullshit, yeah? One fucking rule for Ali Mckenna as per Ali: am I asking you to listen? Ali: I don't want to be talking to you, as per, you came screaming at me, like she did Fraze: Fuck off then I'm done Ali: ta ta dearest brother you're really good at this Ali: just like mummy Fraze: I ain't trying to be good to you I don't owe you shit Fraze: I was trying to help ma who I do Fraze: But forget it 'cause she's better off not talking to ya Ali: and I owe nothing to you, you can try and hold seniority over people for a while but don't act surprised when they tire of the lectures Ali: I sincerely hope so Ali: FYI, you're your own person, she'd like you to know that, according to her, you're NOTHING to do with her Fraze: FYI I already know that. I own up to my own shit good and bad. Fraze: If that's news to you suddenly too bad Ali: Hahahaha Ali: no, THAT is news to me Fraze: I thought you had shit to do Ali: Sick burn, some of us can multitask Fraze: Tell someone who gives a fuck Ali: Oh, you are VERY bad at appearing non-plussed Ali: your entire life experience should tell you that Ali: the only person you've got fooled is yourself Fraze: Thanks doctor fraud Fraze: throw that all seeing bullshit lens on yourself Ali: ??? Ali: You screaming at me for however the fuck long=me not WANTING to say sorry Ali: wowee, what a revelation Fraze: Just keep doing what you want. Please yourself like you always do Fraze: I won't see you later Ali: its only what our darling mother would want Ali: she's a bad person, don't you know Fraze: She thinks she is yeah. No thanks to you Fraze: really helping to change her mind ain't ya Ali: Sorry I'm such a disappointment, there you can have that one Ali: I mean it Fraze: Good you should be sorry too bad I ain't the one that wants to hear it Ali: you can tell her yourself Ali: it isn't my job to mother my own mother Ali: she wont give you a gold star but you can whack off to how smug you'll feel Fraze: Fuck you. I mean that. Ali: I don't care Ali: None of us love each other, its all falling apart Ali: I don't fucking care Fraze: You don't love us anymore now you've got your cosy set up that ain't the same thing Fraze: Good luck to you. Ali: Bullshit Ali: Joe's gone, Tommy left as soon as he feasibly could and he's only back 'cos he's got no other option Ali: You're busy pretending you're someone else Ali: and I won't be here soon either, so why delay the inevitable, it's all gone Ali: and I haven't got sod all 'cosy' literally what the hell do you know, all I've got is MY kids Ali: and they need me more than Tess ever did, I was surplus to requirements from the jump there Fraze: Some genius you are. You don't have a fucking clue. Joe's an addict, he's struggling. Tommy has been doing what he loves which meant he had to move. Also not about you sorry princess kitty kat. I'm trying to build a future same as you. It's hardly end of days. Fraze: Sorry you're not the centre of everyone's universe for one sec. Fraze: And everything ain't rosy all the damn time. Big deal. Ali: and why is he an addict? hmm? lets explore that shall we Ali: Bea's the only one building anything Ali: you're on her coattails Ali: its never been rosy that's my fucking point! Ali: and i'm sorry i've got sick of pretending its anything close to rn Ali: because it isn't and we all know it, aren't you all sick of pretending Fraze: That ain't for me or you to say. You'd have to ask him Fraze: You don't know shit about what I'm achieving or not you patronising twat Fraze: Nobody's asking for that except you and none of us are pretending either we're just making the best of what we've got which is apparently optional for you now you're over it Fraze: Life don't have to be exactly what you want for it to be worth a fucking damn Fraze: Stop acting like you're above us all and be with us Ali: Except I can't because he's gone. He's gone and you didn't give us a chance to say goodbye, no, I'll be as selfish as you want me to be, you didn't give ME a chance to say goodbye Ali: Oh yeah, my life is fucking peachy, I'm so great Ali: Everyone fucking hates me, is that the teen angst you want? Well whoop there it is. Everyone in this fucking town looks down their nose at me or outright abuses me on the daily, the kids I'm too young to have have a part-time dad and heaven forbid I act my age, my own family tell me to fuck off and die in a ditch, or tell me what an awful person I am Ali: there it is, yuk it up 'cos I don't know what else you want from me Ali: I have NOTHING to give, I'm so sorry I'm not worth my place in the tribe Fraze joined the chat 29 minutes ago Fraze: Put that and whatever else you gotta on me. It don't matter. I did what I did and I'd do it again. For him. Fraze: Boo fucking hoo. Deal with it. Nobody made those choices but you. Those kids don't need your sob story they need you to decide what the fuck you and Caleb are doing. Together or apart. Fraze: You don't get to act your age 'cause you're somebody's fucking ma now and its on you to let them be kids. Fraze: If you can't hack that you shouldn't of done it. Simple as. Fraze: As for the pity party you're having about us, nobody said anything like that. Calm down or keep projecting I don't care. Ali: Of course you would, no one matters but the sacred three. I know that, no need to remind me when you spend every waking day showing us exactly where we are in the pecking order Ali: This is a joke, what have I said to you, and mum, what is ALL I said Ali: we didn't need theirs, we didn't need yours Ali: but we got it Ali: and yet I'm nothing like my mother and my problems are NOTHING like hers Ali: I dare you to call her a spoilt bitch Ali: Wow, write a pamphlet. Ali: Read back what you've said, I'm not telling you what you said, you'll only say its bullshit. Just read it Ali: I just Ali: Never mind Fraze: You're a joke, Ali. Fraze: Your situation is nothing like ma's. You've had so much support all round. Like fuck are you working 4 jobs you're going to uni, you have multiple people willing to help with your kids and anything else at the drop of a hat Fraze: She had nothing but da. Fraze: I know what I said and didn't say. Spin it how you want just like with whatever mum said. Fraze: I'm not going in circles with you. Ali: That's all your doing Ali: our entire lives is one big circle revolving around them Ali: please tell me how hard she had it again Ali: as if that makes an iota of difference to my struggle Ali: so much support? Ali: I feel it Fraze: It should make a difference to your fucking behavior Fraze: but whatever I'm sick of this and if you can bail so can I Ali: Why? Ali: Why should it Fraze: It's called empathy brainiac Ali: No, it isn't Ali: that's the past, empathy is doing fuck all to change what it was Ali: you show empathy to the people who need it Ali: in the now Fraze: she does still need it in the now Ali: and i don't? Fraze: You get a shit ton of it Ali: WHERE Ali: I'm a joke, I'm a fuck up, I'm a cunt Ali: I'm not doing enough to help Ro Ali: I'm not doing enough for mum Ali: I'm a bad mother who shouldn't have had her kids Ali: there is nothing Ali: I'm not pulling this out of thin air, Fraze Fraze: You're pulling it out of your arse 'cause you wanna feel sorry for yourself and for everyone else to Fraze: You think I ain't been called shit. Made mistakes. We all have including mum Ali: Please do bring it back round to you and mum Ali: continue to prove my point Ali: call me crazy and tell me i'm making it all up Fraze: I didn't say that I said you're making a meal of it Fraze: build a bridge and get the fuck over it Fraze: talk to the people you gotta to change shit Fraze: Or just keep crying to me Fraze: what's that gonna do? Ali: Yeah, silly me for trying to get my own brother to care Ali: that's not how families are meant to work Fraze: I'm still here talking to you ain't I Fraze: you're the one not caring Ali: of course, what a cold bitch Fraze: You wish Ali: no i don't Ali: even if no one respects the fact that i have feelings that can get hurt just like the rest of you do Fraze: Again, literally nobody's ever said that Fraze: we're just trying to get you to tell ma your feelings are hurt Fraze: at least Ali: actions speak louder than words, even though your words HAVE been fucking horrible and you aren't convincing me otherwise Ali: she knows...she's the one who hurt them Fraze: and you hurt hers too Fraze: and Fraze: I don't know what else I can do here Fraze: this ain't even my fight as you said Ali: i know, i was the one who did it Ali: yeah a real impasse we find ourselves in Fraze: Do whatever it is you're gonna 'cause I can't multitask and I do actually have shit that needs doing despite what you think Ali: i was planning to

[talinhagangdibatid]

1. Sexual orientation - Female

2. What I’m really bad at - Dancing

3. Celebrity I’d fuck - Zac Efron

4. Best First Date- I never dated anyone

5. Description of my self esteem- Accepting your own flaws and embracing yourself.

6. Best friend’s name- Joellyn Venus Katherine Veatrice Julius Julia

7. Favourite book- Everyday

8. Biggest turn offs- Who Smoke & doesn't know how to respect their parents.

9. Description of my best friend- above normal & exotic animals haha

10. Favourite animal- doggo always and forever

11. Someone I miss- Venus

12. Reason behind my last break up- I never had a relationship with anyone.

13. What I did yesterday- meeting with my fellow officers.

14. Greatest achievements- Graduating in Ateneo Summer Classes

15. Description of who I dislike the most- someone who doesn't and doesn't want to understand the situation.

16. Favourite songs- Never be the same

17. How my last kiss went down- sweet.

18. What I find attractive in the preferred gender- who wears good shoes, bright eyes and a melting smile.

19. Pets- Kopiko Shadow Whitey Yankees

20. Favourite ice cream flavour- Anything Chocolate or Cookies n Cream specially on FIC

21. Where I want to be right now - in his arms

22. Worst thing someone said to me- I'm bad

23. Places I’ve lived- UP

24. I’ll love you if…- you love dogs and you have a kind heart

25. Future plans- study in UPD.

26. An internal conflict I have- I hate myself.

27. What I’m doing tomorrow- go to school, study and be fucked up with Mathematics

28. What I want to be when I grow up- someone who does what she's passionate about. Kind of shit.

29. Most embarrassing moment- I actually don't know which is which .

30. Two insecurities- I don't have.

31. If I won the lottery… I would buy I new house and a family car.

32. Description of my crush- tall/ dark/ yeah

33. Favourite thing about myself- I love myself

34. Pet peeves

35. Bands I’ve seen live- Fifth Harmonyyyyyy

36. Kids in the future? How many? 2 to 3 kids.

37. My idea of a perfect date- on the top of the mountain, just the two of us.

38. What I’m really good at singing , acting , and understanding people and maybe a bit of biology but never in chemistry.

39. Most traumatic experience- I haven't had one

40. Where I would like to live- lake front or beach front

41. Nicest thing said to me- I'm beautiful and I am kind.

42. Do I like where I am now? Of course

43. What can I hear right now? Noise of silence

44. Relationship w/ siblings- it's complicated hahah

45. Biggest worry- I might die tomorrow

46. Something I’m waiting for - someone to love me

47. Relationship w/ parents- it's complicated hahaha actually the normal shit with parents

48. Something I should’ve said a long time ago- I'm sorry

49. Last text message received?- nothing

50. Last text message sent? - good morning 💓💓💓

Ask me about...

1. Sexual orientation 2. What I’m really bad at 3. Celebrity I’d fuck 4. Best First Date 5. Description of my self esteem 6. Best friend’s name 7. Favourite book 8. Biggest turn offs 9. Description of my best friend 10. Favourite animal 11. Someone I miss 12. Reason behind my last break up 13. What I did yesterday 14. Greatest achievements 15. Description of who I dislike the most 16. Favourite songs 17. How my last kiss went down 18. What I find attractive in the preferred gender 19. Pets 20. Favourite ice cream flavour 21. Where I want to be right now 22. Worst thing someone said to me 23. Places I’ve lived 24. I’ll love you if… 25. Future plans 26. An internal conflict I have 27. What I’m doing tomorrow 28. What I want to be when I grow up 29. Most embarrassing moment 30. Two insecurities 31. If I won the lottery… 32. Description of my crush 33. Favourite thing about myself 34. Pet peeves 35. Bands I’ve seen live 36. Kids in the future? How many? 37. My idea of a perfect date 38. What I’m really good at 39. Most traumatic experience 40. Where I would like to live 41. Nicest thing said to me 42. Do I like where I am now? 43. What can I hear right now? 44. Relationship w/ siblings 45. Biggest worry 46. Something I’m waiting for 47. Relationship w/ parents 48. Something I should’ve said a long time ago 49. Last text message received? 50. Last text message sent? 51. What I hate about myself 52. Biggest turn ons 53. Words that upset me 54. What I hate most about school 55. What I’m wearing 56. Last thing I ate 57. Last thing I drank This seemed fun, I’m bored.