#Dude did america sprain your ankle??

[preux-chevalier]

Get to Know the Blogger

tagged by @agentmmayy - thanks friend!

name: Sarah star sign: virgo height: 5′6

put your itunes or spotify on shuffle. what are the first four songs that come up? Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley [no, seriously, it genuinely did] Foreigner’s God by Hozier Blind as a Bat by Rigmor Gustafsson Chances Are by Johnny Mathis

have you ever had a poem or song written about you? one time a dude wrote badly veiled fanfic about the two of us falling in love and then dying together in space holding hands, happy that in the end we’d at least found each other. gave it to me to read. and then turned it in for a grade. to a teacher who knew both of us. yeah. [knowing him, there was almost certainly some angsty heartbroken poetry too, but none that he ever straight up showed to me.]

when was the last time you played guitar? I honestly can’t even remember the last time I saw a guitar lmao

who is your celebrity crush? Chris Pine

what’s a sound you hate and a sound you love? hate: shoes squeaking on the ground love: orchestras tuning

do you believe in ghosts? I don’t really have an opinion on the subject

how about aliens? there is literally no fucking way earth is the only planet in the entire universe capable of sustaining life

do you drive? I do, but I don’t particularly enjoy it. It’s not like I hate it, I’m just happier as the navigator in the passenger seat

what was the last book you read? The Ties That Buy: Women and Commerce in Revolutionary America by Ellen Hartigan-O’Connor for my American consumer history class

what’s the worst injury you’ve had? the most painful was when I sprained my ankle, but the one that required the most treatment was when I touched a completely smooth wall for approximately half a second, somehow ripped a tic tac-shaped chunk of flesh out of my finger, and ended up in the ER because it went down to the artery and wouldn’t stop bleeding

do you have any obsessions right now? Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries and an Irish folk band called the High Kings

do you try to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? Not if they apologize for what they did. If they continue to be a dick then fuck them tbh

in a relationship? my bed and I are very happy together, yes

tagging @apropos-tea, @lettersiarrange, @catscoffeecommas, @athenas-heart-of-ink, @mothfluff, and @waluigisdiscopalace! have fun!

[alicesmithworld-blog]

HOW TO Walk Like a Woman - In Heels

After many years of struggle ( being a dude in a dress ) I finally cracked the code. I am sharing what I learned for those who DON'T walk very well now and those who do Here is the KEY for you to develop a believable female presentation: The following exercise will overcome some of the fundamental physical problems you'll have in trying to stand and walk like a woman...mostly that you were born with male parts. ( No, seriously. lol Women walk in a certain way for a reason. We walk like guys for reasons too - and it became natural to us to "stand wide legged to stand our ground - and to not pinch a testicle when walking, etc ) You probably already "tuck" - either with tape, a gaff or tight women's underwear, and if you do, you may be missing the most important opportunity for developing your feminine presentation because the method you use to keep your parts in place enables you to do one thing wrong. Simply, if you are securely tucked with a physical method, you are able to walk like a man.  That is, you don't need to worry about the displacement of your p***s if you don't walk or stand with your legs together.  I know you never really looked at it that way before, but that is likely your key issue. You've no doubt seen the famous "tuck scene" in Silence of The Lambs and the parody of that scene by "Jay" in the movie Clerks II Each male actor, because only the pressure of his thighs was keeping genitals in place, is forced to bring and keep his knees together. They also go the BONUS you get from using this method ( Curvature ) So your exercise is this: You can practice this every time you are doing your bathroom routine if you have others in your home from whom you need to guard your secret.   When you have a chance, even if you tuck securely, practice the same pressure fundamental and you will get INSTANT results for the better. 1.  Create a natural thigh-pressure tuck by pulling your p***s back between your legs as far as you can.  The more you can stretch it, the better, as this will clear the front of your pubic area of male tissue to allow the thighs to come as close together as possible. By not using anything but thigh pressure to keep the genitals in place, you will be forced into a more feminine body position in order to stand up straight. 2. Notice how your knees and feet are now closer together and you are forced to maintain this more feminine body position to maintain the tuck.You will also note that it may be painful for you to stand perfectly upright at the waist due to pressure on your testicles when you do so.  This results in the BONUS - you now have a more feminine arch in your back and your butt seems to stick out more. 3.  Then ... walk.  Note how you MUST take short, narrow steps if you want to maintain the tuck. Notice also how your hips move in a feminine way. Even your feet behave more like a woman's. You have NO CHOICE but to walk and stand more like a woman when you consciously must maintain this natural pressure tuck.  This is why it is the most fundamental exercise. Later, when you are securely tucked with physical means ( gaff, tape, or tight panties ) if you remember to maintain the pressure from your thighs to push your genitals more rearward, you will be able to refine a believable feminine ( lower body ) presentation. If you get into the habit of it now, and do it every time your are dressed, and for the entire duration of your dressing session, you will be able to remember it when you are out in public. The funny thing is, since you were born male, it will feel unnatural to you.   But trust that it will look very natural when attempting to pass as a female. Simply by always ensuring your knees and feet sweep across each other, almost touching each other as they pass, you will have a more feminine walk.  This will almost happen automatically when you are using the thigh-pressure tuck.  That takes care of your step WIDTH. The next thing to work on is your step LENGTH.  Naturally, a man takes a very long step ahead of him. When you don't, you feel unnatural and your BALANCE is actually affected because your BRAIN is used to dealing with a LONG step. So you need to fight the urge to take those big steps. Walking in flats ( women's flats or just men's footwear like slippers, sandals, flip flops, sneakers, or "trend shoes" ) will actually tend to cause you to revert to natural masculine steps...because "you can". So I recommend high heels. WALKING IN HEELS. Picture yourself as a tall 13 year old girl who was accepted by a modeling agency.  You've been in sneakers all your life - you've never even had a pair of low 2" heels on your feet and you'ill be in a fashion show next week!  ( Gosh, you're gonna sprain an ankle! ) But there's a secret to walking in heels. Men and unrefined women walk in such a way that their heel of their leading foot contacts the ground before the toe or ball of the foot.   The longer the step, the longer the wait between heel and toe contact.   In mens dress shoes ( or women walking incorrectly ) this results in a sound effect for 4 steps that sounds like: CLIP-CLOP , CLIP-CLOP, CLIP-CLOP, CLIP-CLOP ... This is also what usually breaks high heels - too much leverage on them. Refined women in heels take SHORT STEPS to touch the heel and front of their shoe to the ground at about the same time, resulting in a 4 step sound effect like: CLIP, CLIP, CLIP, CLIP .... Step One: Practice walking in BARE FEET on your "tip-toes". It takes a while for your brain to learn to balance like that and for your feet to become strong enough to keep you on tip toes for a few minutes at a time. But once you can balance there for several minutes, then you will be better able to balance in actual high-heel shoes.   By developing these muscles WITHOUT shoes, when you lose your balance, you can easily recover from a pending fall.  Trying to do this IN HEELS and THAT is how you sprain an ankle or worse!   Did you know that in the weeks before School PROM season in North America, there is an scaling increase in skull, jaw, tooth, neck, collar bone, arm, wrist, hip, lower-leg and ankle fractures in females aged 14 to 18 which stops abruptly at the start of summer, all related to "first time in high heels"?   Practice with BARE FEET first!!! Step Two: Once you can walk in bare feet on tip toes for several minutes at a time, now try it with your thigh-tension tuck.  This will ad a degree of difficulty because now you must learn to balance with a more narrow foot width - you can't recover from loss of balance and prevent a fall by simply widening your stance.   ( Again, this is tricky and will cause loss of balance, so that's why we do it in BARE FEET first until your brain gets used to it. ) Step Three: Get the right footwear.   Women's flat shoes and shoes with a low high heel ( 2" -  3" ) will allow you to make the mistake of walking "heel first", like a man - and it will look awkward.  Go for a "true" high heel. Ignore "heel height" in inches in general, because the design of a platform shoe has a longer heel than an non-platform shoe and depending on what size your feet are, a 4" heel for a size 5 is probably too high and a 4" heel for a size13 will likely be TOO LOW. Regardless of "heel height" - pick footwear that provides a 45 degree foot angle so that your foot is always at the "breakover point" - the point of each step where weight is transfered from the trailing foot to the leading foot, and which places your foot almost as upright as you being on "tip toes".   This will deter you from walking heel first like a man or a teenage girl who has never worn heels.  It will force a shorter step and make it easier for you to remember to place the heel & toe (ball of foot) on the ground at the same time. Note that TALL BOOTS will provide more support & stability for your ankles than shoes and will go with far more outfits, too! Also they will conceal your manly calf muscle definition ( the reason "I" don't wear "shoes" ) I suggest also a heel base of at least two square inches so that you have more support and it is easier to balance while you learn to adjust to the high heels.  Starting with thin "spike" heels is asking for disaster because you need to learn not to rely on the heel part for stability. Step Four: Practice beside a wall or near a railing for balance. Stand and walk USING ONLY THE TOES/BALL OF FOOT.  That is, go "tip toes" so that the heel is NOT TOUCHING THE GROUND.  This will help you get used to the idea that the HEEL is not really a "useable" part of the shoe by itself and that you don't rely on it for balance. Gradually let your heel get lower and closer to the ground as you practice, so that once the heel does contact the ground, you know you must still keep most of your weight on the TOE/BALL OF FOOT so that you don't fall.   FALLS ARE CAUSED WHEN YOU MISTAKENLY TREAT THE HEEL AS A "FUNCTIONAL" PART OF THE HIGH-HEEL SHOE.  IT'S NOT. High heels were NOT created to add height, but rather for MALE Kabuki performers playing female roles, to force their back to arch more and therefor their butt to "present" itself more and make him look more feminine.  That was adopted by old prostitutes to unconsciously seem more youthful and attractive to a male customer by tapping into the primal, instinctive presentation of an open      ( not pregnant )   ovulating female as indicated by "swollen buttocks" and cause the male to respond with "doggie style" mounting of the female. Evolution has caused many changes to humans over hundreds of thousands of years. Our ancestors at one point only procreated in this way ( you know most women still say "doggie style sex" feels best - because their vagina and brain were designed to do it this way )  and we still respond to the same things we did many, many years ago. Heels help this. USING STAIRS: Notice how women tend to actually use the railing when they use stairs.  They go UP using only their toes (heels never touch the steps ) and come down with their shoes hitting flat on each step (toe & heel at same time ) and at a slight angle, with toes pointing more toward the railing than forward ( so the whole shoe is on the step - if their feet were pointing straight forward, their front of their shoe might slip off the front of a step and cause them to fall down the stairs! ). Now that you have all that in your head. let's take FEMININE STEPS. 1 - Take 100 steps which are only one half to one whole foot length in front of your other shoe.  Once you can do that with no problem ... do it again while ensuring that your feet are as close together as possible. That is, a narrow step width. ( If you stop, your feet should be almost touching. ) 2 - Next, concentrate on the getting your butt to do the feminine "snap".  Up to this point, unless you discovered it by accident, you will still be motivating your steps with your trailing foot and bobbing up and down.  You need to motivate your step by moving your hips forward instead, so that you are gliding across the floor, and with that comes the feminine "wiggle". Stand with one foot in front of the other, with your feet at a comfortable distance apart for you.  ( That may only be one shoe-length or even less, and that's ok. ) Start perfectly balanced in the middle. Pretend you're in a super-slow-motion video. SLOWLY glide your hips forward until your weight is TOTALLY over your leading (front) foot, with your trailing (back) foot still on the ground.  It's ok if you need to be only on the toes of your trailing foot since it is impossible to keep your heel on the ground as you move that far forward.   Keep moving your hips SLOWLY forward until you are almost going to FALL FORWARD.  This is the point at which a woman takes her trailing foot off the ground and quickly moves it forward to "catch the weight" moving forward as a result of her hips moving forward. ( Women motivate their steps by moving their hips forward ... ) Take a few steps like that and you'll feel your hips SWAY from side to side as your bring your body to THE LIMIT of falling forward before taking your trailing foot off the ground.  As a result, your butt will "snap" as you walk. Once it happens the first few times ( the "snap" ), you'll understand how it "feels" to walk like a woman, so that you can do it over and over.

[sara1246]

get to know me tag!!

tag 10 blogs you want to know more about

lol no just a couple

tagged by: @kushythealien

I tag: @fireballbelly @boba-tea-boy and @trashmousejrt

birth year: 2001

star sign: aries

height: 5'10"

put your playlist on shuffle and list the first 4 songs:

1. summer 127 - nct 127

2. nothing else matters - metallica

3. calm down - g eazy

4. hail mary - tupac

grab the nearest book to you, turn to page 23, what is line 17?

I'm not home rn so there's no books near me lmao whoops

has anyone ever written a song about you?

no but my younger brother writes me poems all the time

when was the last time you played air guitar?

definitely sometime last week

celebrity crushes?

shit dude that'd be a long ass list 👀

what’s a sound you hate? one you love?

hate: my coworker eating ice :)

love: the pap pap pap of my dogs feets when I get home and they come to greet me :)

do you believe in ghosts?

you bet your fuckin ass I do

do you believe in aliens?

hell motherfuckin yeah

do you drive? if so, have you ever crashed?

I don't drive, I'm too lazy to get my license lmao

last book you read?

probably the sun and her flowers by rupi kaur

do you like the smell of gasoline?

I don't mind it tbh

last movie you watched?

captain america: the winter soldier (definitely wasn't just for bucky barnes 👀)

worst injury you've ever had?

when I sprained my ankle so bad it was a hairline away from actually fully breaking

do you have any obsessions right now?

- kpop (send help I've been sucked in)

- iced coffee (I work at Tim Hortons it's a serous problem lmfao)

- Overwatch

do you hold grudges?

I guess it depends on who they are and what they did tbh

are you in a relationship right now?

I'm as single as she fuckin gets bud

[littleplebe]

Shieldshock prompt: Darcy and Steve get trapped together somewhere.

It was an unusual situation of epic proportions.

There were aliens, yes. There was a Hulk, yes. There was fighting and screaming, yes. And yet Darcy had no idea how she had ended up trapped beneath a building with Captain America of all people. One minute, she had been panic-running to the exit, herding others before her like the saint she secretly was, and the very next minute something (or rather, someone) had burst through the glass window and a bomb had exploded. Now buried beneath all the rubble with an unconscious superhero sprawled on top of her, it was hard to decide whether he had jumped in to save the civilians or whether someone had pushed him through the window and then tried to bomb them all.

It was just her luck that she was right in his trajectory and that he had basically stopped her from getting crushed by wrapping his body around her and taking the brunt of all the falling debris. She was grateful to him but her head hurt and she was pretty sure she had sprained her ankle due to the fall, so excuse her for being a little scared and uncomfortable.

“Hey, wake up,” she wheezed, poking the prone body on top of her. Both his arms were caging her head and his masked face was buried in her hair, breathing steadily against her neck. “Dude, come on. You’re really heavy.”

When he still didn’t move, Darcy panicked. She didn’t want to be trapped in there forever. There was a battle going on outside. No one would know she and the Captain were buried underneath a building and no one would be looking for them because everyone was busy getting to safety while the Avengers took on the bad guys. It could take hours for anyone to find them.

“Help,” she called, trying to peer through the floating dust. “Somebody! Come on, please let someone hear me. HELP!”

There was a low grunt and the Captain squirmed over her. His face pressed briefly into her neck before he regained full consciousness and pushed himself up on his elbows with a pained groan. “What…?”

“Thank God,” Darcy sighed in relief, watching him blink in disorientation for a few seconds before his blue gaze fixed on her. “Are you hurt? I was scared you wouldn’t wake up at all and I would die being suffocated by Captain America!”

“I…” He tried to move, to heave himself off of her body but there was a sizeable chunk of the ceiling wedged a few inches above his back, kept in place by several beams and more rubble. Even with his super strength, he couldn’t get the ceiling to move. Impatient and frustrated, he slumped back into Darcy, who squeaked loudly.

“Sorry,” he said, looking contrite. Balancing himself on his elbows again, he tore the cowl from his face and gave her a concerned look. “Are you all right?”

Instead of answering, Darcy stared at him in open-mouthed awe. Sure, she had always known what Captain America looked like. Tall, blond, broad shouldered, those were the details they had all gleaned from the comics while growing up. But seeing him up front, it was a different thing entirely. He didn’t look anything like his counterpart in the comics! He was handsome, yes, but he had an incredibly kind face. And at that moment, he was looking at her like she was the only thing that mattered in the whole world.

It was thrilling, confusing and misleading all at once.

“Y-yes,” she finally stammered. “I think I sprained my ankle but I don’t… feel any parts of me bleeding.”

“Good,” the Captain said, sounding genuinely relieved. “My back hurts but that’s to be expected.”

“There’s blood on your forehead,” she couldn’t help pointing out.

He looked around them, squinting through the semi-darkness and floating dust just like she had done moments earlier. “Anybody there?” he bellowed. “Hello!”

Darcy winced. “I don’t think there’s anyone around, Captain. And if they are, they can’t hear us.”

“Steve.”

“What?”

“My name is Steve.”

“Uh,” mumbled Darcy, surprised that he wanted her to call him by his first name. “Okay. I’m Darcy. Darcy Lewis.”

“Unusual name,” he muttered distractedly. Gritting his teeth, he tried to push up again, putting all his effort into lifting the wreckage pressing down on them but he was sorely unsuccessful and looked very disappointed about it. Remembering something, he put a finger in his ear and spoke clearly, “Tony, can you hear me? Natasha?”

He stayed still for a minute, listening intently to nothing but silence, then pulled out his comm. and tossed it aside angrily. “I’m afraid we’re stuck down here until someone comes to rescue us.”

Darcy nodded, fighting the sinking feeling in her stomach at his words. She had already figured it out but hearing Captain America say it made it seem so final. If he, a superhero, couldn’t do anything about their situation, then there was no point having hope. They had no choice but to wait out the battle happening on the streets above. They also had no choice but to awkwardly converse with each other being that he was right there laid out on top of her, his face inches from hers, and it would be weird as shit if they stayed silent and just stared at one another. Because, yeah, there was nothing else to stare at except the destruction around them and it wasn’t that interesting. It was kinda depressing, actually.

“Can’t say I haven’t imagined running into Captain America and ending up being best friends with him,” Darcy said, trying to make light of their situation. “I just didn’t think a building would cave in on us in the middle of our meet cute.”

Her words coaxed a short laugh out of him. “Trust me, this isn’t how I imagined my first free Saturday in forever to pan out. I was more inclined toward a quiet evening in my apartment with some pizza and maybe a Liam Neeson movie.”

“I get it,” said Darcy with a grin. “It’s because you both have a particular set of skills, right? Skills you’ve acquired over a very long career.”

“That’s right. Liam and I… we’re kindred spirits.”

Darcy snorted. She hadn’t known Captain America was such a ball of sass and dry humor. Between occasionally trying and failing to push the wreckage off of them and calling out vainly for help, he kept Darcy distracted with his quips. The pain in her head was a dull ache now and she couldn’t even feel her hurt ankle anymore. She was too busy paying attention to him to feel any pain.

He was entrancing. Even with a bloodied forehead, sweaty hair and injured back, he could find it in himself to answer her questions and to joke around whenever he felt like she was going into panic mode.

“What if no one comes for us?” she asked him after what felt like hours of them being trapped in those ruins.

His response was prompt. “Then I guess you’ll have the privilege to die a heroic death with Captain America.”

Her chest felt heavy and her throat clogged but she managed a giggle. “What’s so heroic about being trapped in here with no one to witness our heroism?”

He pretended to think about it. “Hmm. You have a point there.”

Pushing down her fear, Darcy said, “Maybe if you had a knife, you could kill me first and then kill yourself and then people would think we were tragic lovers. Very Romeo and Juliet-y.”

“Yes.” He was silent for a long time as he studied her, his blue eyes sweeping over her face as if he was seeing her for the first time. Darcy looked away uncomfortably, thinking she had made a mistake in saying that. Perhaps it too bold? Too inappropriate? She couldn’t guess what was wrong until he spoke and cleared her doubts completely.

“We don’t have to kill each other to be considered lovers.” He dipped his head a little and Darcy literally stopped breathing. “I could kiss you and people would easily assume we are.”

“Yeah.” She gulped. “Yeah, that’s one way to… to…”

She tried to figure out if he was messing with her in yet another attempt to distract her or if he was being serious. It couldn’t be the latter, could it? He was Captain America. She was just Darcy. Did superheroes fall for faceless civilians? Could one even consider this banter as ‘falling for her’? Maybe he was trying to divert his mind as well. He was human after all.

“Okay, yeah,” she finally said, nodding jerkily. “I like your idea.”

If anything, she would come out of this with a kiss to remember. Maybe no one would believe her but she would always know she made out with America’s favorite son.

He was definitely surprised by her willingness to go along with his plan. It occurred to her again that maybe he had been messing with her but then he leaned down until his nose was touching hers and Darcy realized that she didn’t care as long as he kept looking at her like that.

“You sure?” he murmured, lightly brushing his lips over hers.

Darcy sucked in a shaky breath and raised a dirt stained hand to wrap around his nape. “I don’t mind being considered Captain America’s lover,” she whispered impishly. “You should worry about your own reputation.”

He huffed out a laugh. “Never have, never will.”

Steve kissed like he spoke, gentle and lively. His lips mapped her entire face before he went anywhere near her mouth. It would have been incredibly sexy if he didn’t punctuate his ministrations with tiny raspberry kisses that had Darcy laughing in no time.

She was no stranger to kissing unknown people but there was no awkwardness with Steve, no fear of judging one another, no concerns about their respective make-out skills or nervousness of what would happen after. Judging by the amount of fun they were having, it almost felt like she had known him forever. She had never thought she could develop such instant chemistry with any man, let alone Captain Steve Rogers.

“Quit playing around,” she ordered, laughing out loud when he blew another raspberry on her cheek.

If she concentrated enough, she could believe they were out in the open, perhaps hidden behind a bush in her favorite garden in Philly, stealing a few moments for themselves before Darcy had to go to work. She felt happy and relaxed, and the fear that had been clawing at her insides since the explosion had all but vanished.

Suddenly, Steve pulled away from her and she opened her eyes to find him looking up intently. Trying to get her breathing under control, she asked, “What is it?”

“People,” he replied shortly.

Darcy tried to listen closely. She could hear them too. Muffled voices. Getting closer and closer.

“HELP!” She screamed while Steve yelled, “Down here!”

The voices increased in volume and Darcy could hear thuds above them, a sound she associated with people moving aside the wreckage to get to them. She beamed at Steve. “Guess we’re not dying after all.”

“Guess we have a chance at a thankfully non-tragic love story.”

Darcy laughed and pulled him down, catching his lips with hers. He came willingly, opening his mouth to deepen the kiss while the the people above them worked tirelessly to get them both out.

“Spend tomorrow with me,” Steve murmured against her lips. “I’ll take care of you.”

So, maybe it was an unusual situation of epic proportions but it was definitely not unwelcome. She had walked out with a date, hadn’t she?

Read the follow-up to this story right here.

[superwholockianatkmart-blog]

Things I've done™

Someone at school said “punch me” as a joke. yeah I didn’t take that as a joke I actually punched them really hard and got in trouble.

Came out to someone the best way tbh: Them: what’s a song that describes your life? Me: idk man like maybe girls/girls/boys? that stuffs confusing

Made shitty hetalia puns in history

Wrote on the whiteboard at lunch (which wasn’t aloud) and almost cried laughing when my teacher was like ‘who drew on the whiteboard’

Dropped a knife in my dishwasher and almost peed my pants laughing

Tried to come out to my family playing board games. you had to pick to be a girl (pink thing) or a boy (blue thing) so I picked blue and then when you had to get married to a girl or guy I just picked one out not looking.

Decided to be sooooo damn rebellious and buy music on my phone when I knew I didn’t have much credit left

Tried not to laugh when this girl got super pissed at me for talking about Hamilton and she said ‘all you do is talk about that damn thing non stop’

Sinned

Read the hat fic and proceeded to: cry throw my phone almost throw up bc that shits disturbing when you’ve got a hamster

Sprained my ankle in front of half my class, resulting in me screaming and crying whilst everyone was like ‘what’

Brought my iPad to school when my parents said not to

Wanted a boyfriend/girlfriend more than you could ever imagine

Cried bc I realised my family may never accept me as trans/queer

Told my music teacher to play Hamilton

When my class got told to draw someone we hated and make them look stupid (we were also told we weren’t allowed to draw anyone from the class) I drew this girl I didn’t like (at the time) and called it “miley cyrus x justin beiber”

Named an egg in science class 'baby gerita’

Wrote justin beiber x napoleon fanfic

Wrote trump x reader fanfic (as a joke lmao sorry america)

Said “oui oui mom ami je m'appelle lafayette” in french class

Made my kahoot name “jesus”

Planned out my schools reenactment of Hamilton the musical

Practiced the “kicking nerds in thE NOSE” kick from heathers without pants on in front of a glass door. I almost cried when I saw my neighbour, this old dude looking at my and laughing

Cried in woolworths on the 4th of july bc my friend made a shitty usuk joke

Set an alarm on my ds for 12:00 am and put it in my sisters room

Tried to come out to this dude by asking very specific questions. he did not catch on.

Pranked this girl from my school by sending her cat facts everyday. she still has not figured out who 'cat fact person’ is

Confessed I had a crush on my friend at 12:00 am on new year

Broken a water wheel in science and blamed it on someone

Concealed my hatred for someone bc they’d literally be so angry if they knew I hated them bc they’ve done so much for me but I hate them bc they just blame too much stuff on me/get super angry about little things/lie about things I did or didn’t do

Attempted to sing dead girl walking but cried laughing

Disagreed with same sex marriage in like 2007 (hello there quality character development)

Seen a really cute girl in what was it? 2014? and thought “shit am I bi”

After that lovely experience in 2014, I proceeded to go “nope, fuck it, deal with that shit later”

A year later in 2015 “lmao what noooope totally straight yes hello I am the heterosexual™”

And in 2016 “HOOOOO BOY WHAT THE HELL IS THAT OH NO IM ACTUALLY SO CONFUSED WHAT OH MY GOD DO I LIKE YOU OR YOU OR YOU WHAT AM I”

Gotten a date mate (woah holy crap that’s possible???)

Wanted my soulmate more than anyone on earth

Actually not peed for over 24 hours at a friends house. don’t ask me why. I do this all the time I’m usually just being weird like I’ve been to one persons house since 2012 and still do it Gotten in trouble a few years ago and being told what to do about it and to prevent it happening again “put your ipad out of your room” “turn off all electronics” and thinking “fuck off I don’t care” Thought of 'gorg washing machine' and couldn't stop laughing and had to listen to its quiet uptown, the only hamilton song to make me cry, but I was still laughing

im gonna add to this post when I do more stuff™