#Don't talk to me about anatomy I literally do not know her

[taruruchi]

I've been working on this for... a while

She was making fun of his physical abilities (flight, running, yk) and he wasn't about to take it lying down

Other ver + w/o text under the cut bc I wasn't completely satisfied with this one KDKDJSKDM

[rimunagenius]

Off Day

ʚ pairing: Kate Martin x Roommate!reader

ʚ word count: 2.6k words

ʚ warnings: RPF!! angst, creepy!stalker-ish!classmate, harassment, some fluff at the end

ʚ ri speaks: okay so i literally just dropped part one and the masterlist and right after i literally wrote this part! i literally pulled this series out of my ass last night…pardon my french. so i finished the masterlist and first part last night and so far, the feedback im getting is really good so…yay!☺️ anyways, this part is a little dark? but trustttt it will be resolved soon.

Part 2

| Series Masterlist |

You desperately wanted to crawl back into bed, get back under the cool covers, and just lie there until the world ended. Or until Kate got home. Either way, you wanted to be anywhere but class.

Something about today was so off. You woke up and did your routine like any normal day. Kate left earlier than you but came back right before you left. You left her breakfast or lunch, whatever she decided to classify it as on the counter, and said you'd see her later at practice. That was 3 hours ago.

But today you had an exam in your anatomy class. This class was easy but you just did not want to be there because of Nick. Ever since a couple of days ago when you told Kate what went down between him and Gabbie, he's been relentless in getting the details of "your and Kate's relationship." You didn't want to tell him it wasn't Kate because you'd rather have to pretend to date her than anyone in California. Especially the girls you knew.

Something about Nick was off so you weren't going to pick a random girl in your following on Instagram. Knowing him, he'd probably stalk the poor woman. You just wanted to skip this class altogether. You hoped this line in the coffee shop on campus would move faster to possibly find a seat where other people could fill in around you before he could.

"Hey!" You turned your head, pulled one airpod out of your ear, and smiled at the brunette next to you. Her name was Juliana and you had class with her in like ten minutes.

"Oh, my god, hi!" You put the AirPod back in its case, abandoning the tranquility for the rest of whatever conversation was going to ensue.

"Not to be nosy or get in your business, and I really don't want to make you uncomfortable, but that guy over there keeps staring at you." She pointed her finger, subtly, in the direction behind her. You got to be fucken kidding…Nick. "He's been saying things to people in anatomy, saying you guys are talking, and how he doesn't like how you're too close to Kate. Or something like that, it's all unclear. But I found it weird and thought you should know." Her face looked genuinely concerned. Her eyes went soft as she looked at your expression change from friendly to somewhat terrified.

"Oh, my god. Thanks for telling me. I don't even know him. He's asked me out a couple of times but I rejected him. Who is he telling? Do a lot of people know?" You asked her. Your hands started to get clammy, as you started to move to the pick-up counter, your name being called; your drink ready.

"I honestly have no idea, but if anyone asks just tell them you're in a relationship." Juliana suggested, unsure of how to handle the whole situation.

"Yeah, I thought he'd leave me alone when my friend Gabbie had said I was seeing someone already. He automatically assumed it was my best friend Kate." You really thought this was behind you. This was probably the bad feeling you've been feeling all day.

"Oh, so you're not dating Kate?" Juliana asked, her face lightening up.

"No, but she said she was okay with going along with it to keep him away from me. Why? You like her?" You had no idea she swung that way. She usually talked about boy drama whenever you guys did group work in your class.

"Uh, no. But if she decides to start seeing someone and needs to drop the whole "fake girlfriend" thing, you can definitely ask me. I'm happy to help." She smiled warmly at you. You were very grateful for her willingness to help.

"Oh, okay. Thank you so much!" Her friend then called her over, and you both said goodbye. You had already made it to your class. Juliana keeping you company the whole way. You walked in and took a seat, pulling out your phone. You figured you could text Kate and let her know that if Juliana was willing to help, you'd relieve her of her duties. You also wanted to catch her up on what the hell went down in the coffee shop.

"you will not believe what just happened..."

almost instantly, her response bubble popped up.

"omg, what?"

"a friend in my anatomy class came up to me in better buzz and told me some guy was staring at me"

"what guy? are you okay?"

"and the guy was Nick!"

"oh..."

"apparently he's telling people me and him are talking but doesn't like how me and you are so close"

"wtf. are you serious?"

"did you tell her that me and u were together?"

"ab that...she said she would be down to be my "girlfriend" if I needed it. so I was thinking I would just tell ppl that me n her are together, so that way you're not dragged into this mess lol"

"Oh."

"okay for sure."

"I gtg. I'll see you later at practice!"

"alright, see you later. love you!"

" 'bear <3 loved "alright, see you later. love you!" "

Usually, she said it back. You, Kate, and all the girls got in the habit of saying 'love you' to one another because it was true. You all loved each other so dearly. None of you had shame in how you felt about one another and how close you held each other to your hearts. But you just decided to brush it off, she was probably just super busy. 

You honestly had no idea why your mind told you to read into everything she's been saying and texting you, lately. I was seriously getting unhealthy with how much you worried about what she thought about you. You were lost in thought before someone took a seat next to you. Assuming it was Juliana because she was just outside with her friends, you turned to tell her that if she was down to be your "girlfriend." You were pretty startled to see it wasn't her but Nick instead. 

"So, how have you been?" He asked. Something about him seemingly so off. You didn't like the feeling you got around him at all. You noticed his gaze following you out of the shop with Juliana ten minutes ago. You looked around the room, the spots in the class filling up quickly. You saw Juliana walk in, but before you could get her attention, Nick moved into your line of sight and prevented anyone from coming between you two. 

"Uh, good?" You looked down at your phone trying to find anything to keep you looking as uninterested as possible. 

"That's it? Nothing else to say to me?" He seemed to be growing more irritable with the short responses. 

"I don't know what you want me to say, I didn't want to talk to you anyway." You looked at him, wishing he'd go away. You didn't want to say it out loud and catch the attention of everyone around you. 

"Oh, now that's not nice. That's no way to talk to your boyfriend." He said, a weird smile encroaching on his lips. You did not like this at all. You were genuinely starting to get scared. You pulled up Juliana's number, thankful you asked for it last week so you could send her the notes she missed. 

"911. he's starting to really freak me out." 

You sent the message and immediately Nick asked who you had been texting. "Can you please, for the love of god, leave me alone? I'm seeing someone." The smirk on his face dropped, a cold stare being directed right at you. 

"No, you're not. You're seeing me." 

"No, she's not you creep. She's my girlfriend." Juliana then sat on the opposite side of you, staring Nick down. Nick's face flushed, his eyes looking at a few people who had turned around to see what was going on. She placed a hand on your leg.

It wasn't long after your exam and when the class was dismissed that Nick approached you again. He tried to talk to you, you just want to get straight to the Carver stadium. No students that weren't on the team or staff weren't allowed in. You just needed to get there as quickly as possible. 

"Hey! Stop ignoring me." Nick semi-shouted at you. You had put both airpods in, trying to tune him out. It wasn't until he tried to grab your arm and pull you back from walking away from him that you turned around ready to blow up before your saving grace came up to both of you. 

"Hey, man! Watch the fuck out. I don't know who you think you are but you are not gonna put your hands on my friend like that. Not like that, not now, and not ever." Hannah, with the hand she had placed on his arm to throw it off you, pushed him back a little before putting her arm around your shoulder and walking away from him. "That was fucking weird. You know that guy?" She looked back to see if he was still there, and indeed he was. Watching you both walk in the direction towards the arena. 

"No, actually. He's a fucking creep who asked me out a couple of times and took it horribly. He's been harassing me for a little. He was staring at me while I was getting coffee before my class like two hours ago." You said, calming down significantly since Hannah showed up. But your stomach was still uneasy and you really did not want to go to that class tomorrow or ever until he was gone and far away from Iowa City. 

"Yeah, don't walk around campus alone anymore. I'll come to find you after every—what class is this?" 

"Anatomy." 

"Okay, after every one of your anatomy classes, I'll come to find you and we can go to practice together. Do you have friends that know what classes you have and can walk you?" Now that you think about it, Juliana was in a lot of your classes. She wanted to do nursing so most classes you had in the week, were with her. 

"Yeah, funny story. The girl that's pretending to be my girlfriend to keep that guy away, which he obviously doesn't give a damn about, is in a lot of my classes. And it works out because the ones she's not in, Kate takes me because they're on her way." You smiled at the tall girl, grateful. 

"Okay, good. I don't want you getting stalked and possibly worse because of that guy. You should report him before it gets too bad." Hannah suggested, and rightfully so. 

"Yeah, I will. Thanks again, Hannah."

The girls' practice was going well. Until it wasn't. 

"Hey, you got a minute?" You were organizing gauze and wraps in the med bag behind the bench before you looked up and saw Kate holding her nose. 

"Yes, of course, Kate. Another one?" You looked at the girl as she walked around the bench and you handed her a towel. She broke her nose every year, you and Caitlin swore on it. You grabbed some gauze squares and put them in each nostril, to absorb as much blood as possible before you completely ruined the towel. 

"Don't tilt your head back. It could cause clots." You knew she already knew that with how prone Kate was to bloody noses. But it never hurts to refresh her mind, as it is instinct to stop the bleeding. 

"Yeah, thanks." You and Kate stood there while the bleeding stopped. "Alright, I think I'm good." She said a small smile on her face. You saw some blood on her shirt, grabbing the small bottle of peroxide in the bag, and a small gauze pad, you tried to soak as much of it out so it was easier for her when she did laundry. Suddenly your phone started buzzing. A new notification every second. 

"Jeez, who is blowing up your phone?" Kate asked, as she looked at your screen lighting up and watching the notifications pop up one by one.

"I don't know. Can you check?" You asked as you tried to get the last spot of blood off her clothes. 

"It's Instagram. Someone named Nick? Is it that same Nick guy Hannah said harassed the fuck out of you today?" She set your phone down. Your stomach immediately churning. You were honestly getting the creeps. 

"Oh my god. She told you?" You asked as you looked into Kate's eyes. Both of yours mirroring each other. The same worried look. 

"Yeah, and I'm glad she did. You need to say something. Or I can if you're not comfortable." Kate suggested. Now six more new notifications popped up, all from Nick. "I'll block him for you." She said, picking up your phone but stopping to look at you. Her eyes silently asking if that was okay with you.

"Yeah, please." You sighed as you threw the gauze squares away, putting the peroxide back before watching Kate block Nick. On your main and spam account. You have no idea how he found you; your name isn’t in the usernames. You really should go private and change your message settings. "Alright lemme check your nose though, to make sure it's not broken." There was absolutely no need to do this. You knew it was probably just a simple elbow or ball to the face. You both would've known if it was broken. 

"Alright." She sat on the bench, signature manspread. Good lord. You stood between her legs, putting pressure on different parts of her nose, checking for any indication of pain. It was a little tender but that was obvious, and so was you making an excuse to keep Kate a little longer. I mean, could she blame you? You haven't seen her much in the last couple of days. Late practices you missed for studying for your exam, her leaving earlier than you and by the time you get home she's either asleep or visiting her nephew. You missed your best friend.

You could see her looking at you as you checked. Your eyes meet once or twice, small giggles escaping your lips every time. Her eyes dropping to your lips occasionally, watching your tongue poke out a little as you focused on the task at hand. That made her giggle too. "Okay, bear. You're good." You kissed the top of her head and patted her shoulder before she stood up and ran back to the court. 

"If I roll my ankle, do I get a cute nickname and a kiss too?" Caitlin shouted as she pretended to throw herself on the ground. You laughed at her antics loudly before nodding your head and yelling yes. You laughed harder as she pretended to limp towards you. 

"Yeah, I'm gonna need like ten kisses to make this unbearable pain go away."  She fakes winced as she took a seat in the spot Kate was previously in, resting her "injured" foot on the chairs next to her. 

"Oh for sure, Cait." You laughed.

Suddenly, Sydney, Kylie, Jada, and Gabbie, hobbled over pretending to be injured to get their kisses too. "You need one too, Coach Bluder?" You shouted after you made your way through half the lineup. You made the assistant coaches laugh, including Coach herself. The practice was better after that, but you just couldn't shake the events from today off. 

Maybe another movie night with Kate would fix this. A lot of ice cream must be eaten tonight. Just one night, peaceful, and Nick free.

[svp3rrn0va]

The Artist & The Muse (NSFW)

Pairing: Sebastian Sallow x f!MC

Summary: MC is an aspiring artist. She talks to her close friend, Sebastian, about her hobby and how she wants to practice painting anatomy. He offers to be her nude model, and MC can't help but admire his body in more ways than one.

Warnings: 18+, aged up characters, explicit sexual content, body worship, foreplay, oral m!rec, unprotected sex, praise kink

Word Count: 4,748

You sigh as you struggle to focus on your book amidst the chatter of your peers around you. Out of anywhere you could've chosen to read, you chose the fountain in the literal epicenter of the castle. Central Hall seemed to be absolutely packed at any point of the day before curfew. It doesn't help that the content you're trying to read is already a bit confusing for you.

To your left, there is a group of friends cheering for a 2nd-year Gryffindor as he walks up the wall. Any moment now, you think to yourself. Just then, as if he'd read your mind, he falls to the floor with a shriek. Thankfully for him, one of his friends cast a charm so he wouldn't hit the hard floor below him.

They all began to laugh really loudly, and that was your last straw. Just as you were about to turn to them and scold them for picking such a crowded area to do something so dangerous, your friend Sebastian Sallow approaches you and sits beside you on the fountain with a smile. You give him a sigh that means "oh, hello."

"What are you reading?" he asks, his head pointing toward your book.

"It's an art book," you reply, closing it and placing it in your lap. "Although I can't get much reading done with all this noise."

Sebastian chuckles. "You're surprised you can't pay attention to your book in Central Hall?" You roll your eyes.

"Also, I didn't know you were into art."

"Yes," you say with a hint of shyness. "I paint, actually."

Sebastian's eyes light up. "You paint? I can't believe you've never told me this before!"

He was right. It was a rather ridiculous notion that you kept something like that from him. You actually kept that from a lot of people. Not because painting is such an embarrassing hobby, but because you're still learning, and you haven't felt ready to show your work to people yet. You've always had a tendency to be hard on yourself.

"Here and there I do; I don't really take it that seriously." That was a lie. Of course you see yourself having a career within the wizarding world, but you would also like to have a career as an artist in the muggle world, perhaps under an alias.

"Even so, I bet you're really good at it. You're good at everything." Sebastian says with a smile.

You scoff. "You're only saying that to be nice."

"No, I mean it! You're the smartest person I know, besides me, of course," he smirks.

You scoff and nudge his arm playfully, and you stand up. "On that note, I'm going to go to my room and read where it's peaceful."

Sebastian quickly stands up as well. "Your room? Your room of requirement? Is that where you paint?" You sigh, and Sebastian acts like a kid in a candy store. "I bet it is! I want to see them."

"You want to see my paintings?" you ask.

"Of course! You can't tell me that you paint and not expect me to want to see them."

You swallow, and you feel your nerves building up. You've never shown anyone outside your family your paintings.

"You're not going to let this go until I show you, will you?" you ask, already knowing his answer. Sebastian shakes his head, and you sigh. "Fine. But don't laugh at me. They aren't great."

"That's subjective. Besides, even if I were to not think they're great, I want to support you regardless. That's what friends are for, anyway." He says softly.

You smile, feeling touched by his words, and it makes you feel more relaxed.

***

You open the door to your room of requirement and Sebastian looks around in amazement. The room is quite large, and you've made yourself a nice, personal space. You've got a large bed, a large desk for your assignments, massive bookshelves filled with books, potting tables, and of course, your painting area with everything you'd need.

"Wow, if this were my room of requirement, I'd never leave," he says, taking a seat on the sofa by the fireplace.

"What's in your room of requirement?" you ask.

"I don't have one. I just spend all my alone time in the Undercroft."

You laugh, not understanding how he could choose a room like that over a room where he could have absolutely anything he wanted. Sebastian turns around on the sofa and looks toward your painting station, his smile dropping when he sees that the only visible canvas is blank.

"I thought you had paintings in here," he said with a hint of disappointment in his voice.

"I do," you say as you walk towards the bed. You open up the chest at the foot of the bed. "They're in here."

Sebastian quickly gets up and walks over to you, peering inside the chest to see three canvases facing down.

"May I?" he asks, looking up at you as he leans down to grab them.

You nod and take a deep breath as he pulls the canvases out of the chest and looks through them.

One is of the Scottish coast, with beautiful cliffs overlooking the sea. The second is a view of the night sky from what appears to be the observation deck in the astronomy tower. The third is your cat lying on your windowsill, looking at sheep passing by in the fields outside.

You chew on your lip as you watch Sebastian's face, trying to decipher from his expression whether he likes the paintings or not. It's a bit hard to tell, and he's silent. You begin to get antsy.

"Well?" you ask impatiently.

"These are-" he begins before once again going quiet as he keeps alternating between the paintings. You groan.

"Do you have to be so dramatic? Please tell me what you think!"

"Oh, I'm sorry," Sebastian says, snapping out of his trance. "I'm just speechless. These are amazing! I can't believe you said they aren't great!"

You raise your eyebrows. "Really? You think so?"

"Of course! I'm not a painter, so I can't use technical terms, but you're very good at blending the gradients in the sky, and the water in this one, just look at the way you did the bubbles on the crashing waves! You're really underestimating yourself."

You can't help but smile, and you look at the floor, blushing. "Thank you, Sebastian. That means a lot."

"You should be proud, really," he says as he gently places the canvases back into the chest. "What art book were you reading, exactly? Judging by these paintings, you shouldn't have much more to learn. You're already great."

"Alright, alright, you're flattering me too much now," you laugh. "It was an anatomy book. I've had enough practice painting landscapes and animals; I don't have enough practice painting humans."

"Well, why not just try doing it instead of trying to learn from a book first?" he asked.

"That's the thing," you say, and you feel your face getting warm. "I could handle painting people with clothes on, but I've always been inspired by art from the Italian Renaissance. I'd like to recreate that style."

"Well? What's wrong with that?"

"A lot of famous paintings from that time depict nude people," you bluntly reply.

"Oh," Sebastian says, clearing his throat. "You want to do a nude painting?"

"I'd like to try and make a painting in that style, yes," you chuckle nervously. "I just would like to get a hang of human anatomy before I even attempt to recreate a Renaissance piece. But asking someone to pose for that is-"

"I'll do it."

You weren't sure if you heard him correctly. "You what?"

"I said I'll do it." He has to be joking, right? But he looks completely serious and doesn't look unsure at all.

"You'll... you'll pose nude for me?" you ask, whispering the last few words as though someone can hear.

"Why not? We're close; I trust you. And I'd be honoured to help you get some practice. Unless you'd prefer to paint a female body."

"No, no, it doesn't matter to me. But are you sure?"

"I wouldn't have mentioned it if I wasn't," he shrugs.

You stand there and sigh, still surprised by Sebastian's sudden offer. Despite his offering, you don't want to put him in an awkward situation, but it also saves you from any future awkward situations of finding someone to pose nude for you.

"If you're comfortable with it, then alright. We've got time before class, so we could do a bit now, if you'd like." You say.

"I don't mind," he says, looking around the room. "Where would you like me to be?"

"You can be on the bed so you're on a soft surface." You grab your easel and blank canvas along with a chair, and you move them both across from the bed. "And I will be here."

Sebastian nods, and you make your way back to the table to gather all of your brushes and paints to use for the canvas. You grab your mug, and with a quick cast of Aguamenti, you've got a full water mug ready for you to clean your brushes.

When you turn around and catch sight of Sebastian, you nearly drop everything in your hands when you see he's already fully naked, standing by the bed.

"Are you alright?" he asks, chuckling.

"Sorry," Your face was burning hot at this point. You clear your throat. "I just didn't expect you to get undressed so quickly."

"I didn't mean to shock you," he says, looking at the bed. "How would you like me to pose?"

"Erm," you hesitate as you try your best to keep your eyes on his and not focus on his lower region. "You can lay on your side with your hand resting on your head, one leg propped up? That way I can see... erm... everything."

Sebastian nods and climbs onto the bed, getting into the pose you asked him to. You place all your paints and brushes in front of you, trying to ignore the blood in your cheeks and your heartbeat. You've seen a man naked before, but you've known Sebastian for a long time and had never been intimate with him, so you weren't sure how to feel.

"How's this?" he asks. You look to the bed, and he's laying in the correct pose, although his leg was tilted a bit downward, so you couldn't see his privates well.

"That's alright, but if you lift your leg up a bit more, then it's perfect."

He listens. He lifts up his leg so his knee's pointed directly towards the ceiling, and you see it. Your breath stops for a few seconds.

It's quite... big. Thick, but not too thick. It's more long than thick. You quickly peel your eyes away to not make him think you're staring. You begin to paint his head, and you notice your hand is shaking. You shut your eyes and clear your throat again to try to clear your thoughts.

"Are you comfortable like that?" you ask, trying to make conversation and feel more relaxed.

"I am," he responds casually. "This room is amazing. It conjured up a much cozier bed than what we've got in all the dorms!"

"I know," you reply. "I actually don't sleep in it much, though."

"Well, you should," he says. "I reckon you'd be the most well-rested person in the castle!" He moves his arm and head a lot as he speaks, making you struggle.

"Try not to move too much," you instruct him. He nods, quietly apologising.

You begin painting his lips, and you try to focus on his face, but it's very difficult. Your eyes have a mind of their own, and they keep trailing down to his length. You swallow hard as the light from the fireplace allows you to clearly see, even from that distance, the veins along it.

Sebastian seems to be unaware of your attention as he looks around the room while you paint.

It's no secret that Sebastian is a very attractive man. You and many other girls in the castle can agree on that. However, the fact that he feels comfortable enough with his body to agree to do this for you somehow makes him much more attractive to you.

You admittedly feel a bit entranced by him in this moment. You've never felt this way for him, so it's a surprise. In fact, you're so entranced that you almost didn't notice the heat from your cheeks sinking to your lower region as well.

No. No, now is not the time for this, you think to yourself. As you feel the heat turning into a slight throb, you clench your thighs together, trying to get the feeling to go away. You somehow manage to finish his head and hair, and it looks good.

As you begin to paint his torso, that's when you notice how toned he is, and how his freckles aren't just on his face. You begin to sweat, and the throbbing you feel doesn't get any better. You feel it even more this time. You gently take your hand and place it in between your thighs, closing them around it.

You shift in your seat and Sebastian turns his attention towards you.

"Are you alright?" he asks, his eyebrow raised.

You struggle to find words, and you quickly nod your head as you chew nervously on your bottom lip.

Sebastian begins to eye you as you insist on keeping your attention on your canvas. He sees your hand between your thighs and your fingers digging into the skin of one of them. When he looks up at your face, he can see how red your cheeks are and how aggressively you're chewing your lip.

"No really, are you alright? You seem flustered-"

"I'm fine, Sebastian," you snap. Unbeknownst to you, Sebastian knows better. He can tell by the way you can't sit still. He can tell by the way you're clawing at your skin. He can tell by the red of your cheeks. You're turned on, and he knows it. He just chooses to play coy.

You begin to paint his beautifully broad shoulders. Merlin, these intrusive thoughts. Get out of here! You almost don't want to look at him again, but you have to. As you take another look at Sebastian, your eyes quickly dart down to his length once again, and that's when you notice it.

He's getting hard.

You immediately stand up and start putting everything away.

"I'm sorry, this wasn't really a good idea. I really appreciate you offering to help, though," you say, almost too quick for him to understand.

"What? What's wrong?" Sebastian asks, getting out of his pose and sitting upright.

"This just feels too wrong. I didn't want there to be tension, I thought this would just be-"

"Tension?" he asks again, looking down to notice the obvious tension as well. "Oh shit."

You put away the easel and chair and begin to nervously pace.

"Again I appreciate you doing this for me but I'll just look for another model. Just put your clothes back on and we can act like this didn't happen, alright? I'll see you in class." You try to rush out of the room when you feel Sebastian grab your wrist.

You turn around in surprise as you didn't even notice him get up from the bed and walk towards you in your frantic state. You look down at all his glory once again before meeting his gaze.

"There's nothing wrong with it if you like what you see, you know," he says, his voice lowered. Your breathing speeds up.

"I-I don't know what- what you mean," you stammer.

"I've known you for a while," he smirks. "You've never been discreet, and you certainly aren't now."

He keeps his eyes fixed on you, and you can't pull yours away.

"Tell me what's on your mind." He licks his lips and you can practically hear your heartbeat in your ears.

"Y- your body," you say so quietly it's almost a whisper.

"What about it?" he asks softly.

"It's so beautiful."

"Beautiful in an artistic way? Like you want to paint it?" he asks, his eyebrows raised. You can tell that he is trying to get more out of you.

You hesitate and lick your lips before answering. "Yes, but, not just paint it."

"What else?" he whispers, and you can't help but whimper slightly at his voice.

"I want to touch it," your eyes begin to trail down his body again. "And kiss it..."

Sebastian, still holding onto your wrist, gently brings your hand up to his chest. You shiver as you touch his skin and he slides your hand down his torso.

"You mean like this?" He asks. You nod.

"And you want to kiss it?" He asks again. You nod again.

He chuckles and he interlocks his fingers with yours. He takes his other hand and places it behind your neck, pulling you in and crashing his lips to yours. As soon as your lips touch, you feel all of your nerves go away. All you want is him.

You run your hand through his hair and moan into his mouth. He smiles against your lips and waits for you to open your mouth just a little before he adds his tongue.

You pull away from the kiss with a gentle bite of his lower lip. He looks at you with nothing but lust in his eyes. Then you lean in and kiss his jawline, down to his neck.

A soft "mmm" comes from Sebastian and you smile as your kisses travel lower down to his collarbone all the way to his bellybutton.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted this," Sebastian growls.

You're on your knees at this point, and you look up at him with a look of surprise at his words. You had no idea Sebastian felt that way about you, but you weren't complaining.

"I think I have an idea," you reply, eyeing his erection in front of you.

"May I?" You repeat his question from earlier as you guide your hand towards his cock, glancing at him for permission. He nods and you place your hand on it, swirling your thumb around his shaft.

Sebastian hisses and you smile, before leaning forward and licking his tip as you begin to pump his dick with your hand.

"Oh god," he groans, throwing his head back. "That's perfect." He grabs onto your hair as you start bobbing up and down on his cock, pumping the rest with your hand.

You aren't quiet either. You make sure to slurp and gag as you take his length as far back into your throat as you can. He obviously loves it, too, as his legs shake and he moans with each gag.

"God damn, is there anything you're not good at?" Sebastian asks as his voice cracks, an indication to you that he may not last much longer.

You begin to massage his balls and he tugs harder on your hair. As you suck him off, you gradually use more tongue, and you can just feel his veins against your tongue from how prominent they are, and you love it.

"You're gonna make me cum," he whimpers. "Do you want to swallow it?"

"Mm-hmm," you reply, not taking your mouth off him. Anxious for his release, you begin to pick up the pace, just as he begins to thrust himself into your mouth. At this point your pussy is throbbing like crazy, and you take your hand from his balls to try to rub yourself through your underwear. Unfortunately, the hem of your pants are too tight.

"Oh that feels so good," he moans, and with one final thrust, you feel his cock twitch and he releases his load into your throat.

You giggle with satisfaction as the warm liquid fills your mouth. Once he pulls away, you swallow as if you've just had a nice, refreshing glass of water.

"Come here," Sebastian says as he takes your wrist again and pulls you to your feet, pulling you into another passionate kiss. You two begin to walk backwards while you kiss, not paying much attention to where you're going.

Next thing you know you collide with your painting table, and you press your hand onto something wet. You turn around and begin to laugh as you notice your hand landed directly on your painting palette.

"Oh, I'm sorry," says Sebastian, laughing as well.

"That's alright." You place your paint covered hand on his cheek and kiss him again, his eyes widening.

"Hey!" He exclaims against your mouth. You pull away and giggle once again as you see a handprint on the side of his face. Then an idea comes into your head.

Sebastian watches in confusion as you put both hands on the painting palette. You turn around, biting your lip as you slide your hands down his body, covering him in paint.

"What is this?" he grins.

"You're my art project," you laugh. "And I just want to keep touching you."

"It's my turn to touch you now," he growls. He begins to undo your pants, and you arch your back off the table so it's easier for him to pull them down.

He removes your pants and to your surprise, you've gotten so wet, you can see it through your underwear.

"And you tried to be discreet," he says with a smirk. "Tsk tsk tsk."

He slides one finger along your cloth covered slit and you gasp. You prop one leg up on the chair beside you to give him better access.

"Oh, we're eager, aren't we?" he whispers right next to your ear. You shiver. "You're soaking wet."

He presses his finger up against your clit through your underwear, almost to tease you. You whimper in desperation, and he grins again as he begins to rub. "What's wrong? You want me to touch you directly?"

You nod. "Please," you whisper. "Please touch my pussy."

With a bite of his lip, he hooks one finger through the hem of your underwear and slides it down towards your knees.

"Just look at that pussy," he says, admiring you. "I can't imagine what you've got under the rest of those clothes."

He begins to rub circles on your clit and you place one hand behind his neck to stabilise yourself. His fingers are cold, and it feels so good against your pussy that you shudder.

Sebastian leans in to kiss you again. He then drags his lower lip along your ear and places a gentle kiss on it. "So fucking good," he says. "So talented, you are. So smart, too, and so fucking beautiful." He rubs your clit even faster and your head falls onto his shoulder.

"Even better at sucking my cock, and I know you'll be great at taking it in that beautiful pussy of yours, too." His words are sending you closer to the edge. "I bet you're so fucking tight."

"Sebastian," you choke out. "Don't stop." You begin to grind your hips against his finger and he chuckles.

"Yes, grind those hips. You're making me hard all over again." You watch as his cock begins to grow once again, already prepared for you. You moan at the sight, and your desperation to feel it inside of you makes you finish.

Your legs shake wildly and you fall back against the table as you cum. Sebastian slows his rubbing, and he sighs in satisfaction as he watches your delicious juices drip from your pussy lips as you finish your release. Once you're done, he licks his finger as if he's licking chocolate frosting off of it.

"So sweet," he smirks.

You're getting impatient now, and without a word you begin to strip your blouse off, and Sebastian watches you with complete lust in his eyes. As you begin to take off your corset, you struggle a bit and he helps you.

He undoes the last button and your corset falls to the floor. You turn around to face him and his jaw drops. He gently places his hands on your waist, and caresses up and down your torso. Sebastian moans softly as he runs his hands over your breasts, spreading his middle and index fingers apart as he passes by your nipples.

"And you said my body was beautiful," he gawks. "Look at you. Just fucking exquisite. You should paint yourself. This is real art."

His sweet words drive you crazy and you crash your lips against his once again. He kisses you back with somehow even more passion this time. He's got paint all over him now, but you absolutely love it. You jump up and wrap your legs around his waist.

He wraps his arms around you, getting paint on you now as well, but you don't care. Sebastian takes you to the bed and drops you on it. He grabs each of your ankles and pulls you towards him as he remains standing.

"I wish you could see yourself from this view," he says.

"Well I'm satisfied with mine, as well," you reply.

He lets go of one of your ankles to position himself at your slit, and you begin to drop your leg. He quickly grabs it again and lifts it back up. "Keep your legs up," he instructs.

You begin to say "alright", but you're cut off by your own moan as he pushes himself into you. Since he isn't too thick, he's able to slide into you quite easily, but he's just the right girth that it feels fucking amazing.

"Your pussy feels incredible," he sighs, as he begins to softly thrust in and out of you.

You watch his face, and you admire how gorgeous his expressions are. The way he shuts his eyes, and raises his brows, and slightly opens his mouth. You wish you could see him like this all the time.

"You can go faster," you tell him. And just like that, he thrusts faster and harder. You both moan in unison and his grip on your ankles tightens. "Fuck, Sebastian, that feels so good."

"God, I- I can't," he breathes as he lets go of your ankles and collapses on top of you, not hurting you, and he continues his thrusting. You wrap your legs around his waist again.

Sebastian rests his head in the crook of your neck, and places his hand on your other cheek. "You're fucking perfect," he says.

You lift his head up so his eyes meet yours and you kiss him, this time it being a romantic, tender kiss. You press your legs tighter on his waist, pushing him closer to you so his cock hits you even deeper.

Sebastian's cock is hitting your g-spot just right, and you can feel your orgasm approaching quickly. You begin to rub your clit just as you feel Sebastian's thrusts slowing down just a hair, and you know he's getting close, too.

"I'm close," he whispers. "Do you want me to cum inside you?"

You think for a moment, and you nod your head.

You tug on his hair and you begin to kiss his neck. He moans and that little sound makes you fall apart. Your legs close around him tightly and as your walls begin to clench on his cock, he loses it. He groans, and right when you expect him to shoot his load inside of you, he quickly pulls out and cums all over your stomach.

He chuckles, and you look up at him with a look of both confusion and disappointment.

"Now you're my art project," he laughs, and you can't help but roll your eyes.

Sebastian falls back onto the bed next to you. "Look at us," he says. "We're a mess."

"I can always conjure up a bathtub," you reply. "By the way, you're not going to be my nude model again."

Sebastian sits up with a frown. "Why not?"

"Are you joking? I'll never get any practice done with you! You've distracted me!"

"You say that like it was a bad distraction." he chuckles.

You can't help but laugh, too, because it's true. You look up at him with a smirk. "You do make a good canvas, though."

[usedtobecooler]

would looooove to see a plus size reader who is a virgin but like knows how to get herself off, she’s very familiar with her vibrator and dildo. and eddie??? sweet subby (switchy if ur nasty) eddie who is also a virgin and while he is a perv he’s also a blushing FOOL when it comes to pretty girls. and he’s absolutely gobsmacked by how comfortable the reader is talking about sex. they start talking about their experiences and he’s thrown for a loop when she says she’s a virgin. like ?????? he needs her to ride his face right now cause she’s perfect and he neeeeeds her. something about a sort of confident plus size woman bossing eddie around does it for me. maybe it’s because i am a sort of confident plus size woman but that’s neither here nor there tbh!!!!! lol anyway pointless rant over

a/n | respectfully anon i think you wrote this prompt with me literally in mind because you've described me as a person (y'know, apart from the virgin part) and the perfect soft eddie that i've had engrained in my brain. i hope that i've done it justice and this is everything you imagined!

warnings | sexual content (18+ minors dni), use of sex toys, face sitting, hair pulling, virginity taking (eddie taking readers virginity), unprotected sex (wrap it, guys!), oral (f receiving), dirty talking, sub!eddie, perv!eddie, reader is a bully but in a soft way, plus size!reader.

word count | 2.3k

If you were to ask Eddie how this happened, he'd feign innocence and pretend like it was all a simple, innocent mistake, how he ended up in this situation. He couldn't find it in himself to be nauseated with his actions when his face was buried in your pussy like this.

"What do you mean you're a virgin?" Eddie had asked, shocked and a clear look of bewilderment in his eyes when you had confessed to him your big secret. Virgins in their twenties were few and far between and he couldn't believe that you were one of them.

In his eyes you were the most gorgeous woman he'd ever set eyes on, plump in all the places he liked (which was everywhere, really, he loved how perfectly your soft body fit in his hands), the perfect mixture of cute and hard faced, the way you gave the guys a run for their money at everything because you were just so naturally good at anything you tried a hand at.

"Eddie, c'mon, look at me. Guys aren't lining up around the block to date me, I'm not your typical girl next door, like Nancy Wheeler." You were all matter of fact in your words as you shrugged, it was no big deal, men sucked and were notoriously bad at female anatomy anyway. So, why would you look for sex from men when you were happy with what you could do to yourself and had your box of treasures to look to?

"I know a few guys who like you, sweetheart, you just don't give them a chance." Eddie's heart raced as he spoke to you, because yeah, he does know of a few guys who like you. He sees the way men ogle you up and down when you're turned the other way, he hears them whistle when you walk by. You're oblivious, but he isn't.

"I have Mr. Bunny and a massage wand. Why would I need a man when I have them?" You'd quipped, tilting your head in question. You had made it no secret you were into your own sexual desires and chose to delve into them yourself, you were probably the only sex positive chick Eddie had ever met. Not a priss like most, comfortable enough to know what you liked and chase it.

"I'm not gonna ask what those are." Eddie said, pretending like he had no clue but his palms had began sweating and his cock had kicked up a little at the thought of you using toys to touch yourself with. The conversation had wrapped abruptly after that and you had all but forgotten it once you got home.

So, yeah, screw him for getting a little curious and stopping by when he knew your parents weren't home, claiming he'd left his chain (which never came off, by the way) the last time he'd visited, bouldering up the stairs and coming face to face with you laid out on your bed, surrounded by soft pillows and going to town on yourself with said 'massage wand'.

You were covered over with an oversized Sabbath shirt, though your fingers were rubbing circles around your clothed left nipple with your free hand, chunky thighs spread so he could see everything as your wand buzzed along your clit, causing you to choke out small whimpers and sighs. Your eyes were screwed shut, mouth hung open slightly as the pleasure coursed through you.

He'd stood there quietly for longer than he'd ever admit to, but Eddie couldn't tear his eyes off of you. The way you were out in the open like this, dripping wet cunt on display for anybody to see if they walked in.

"God, oh my God." Your mouth had opened in a broken whine, moans choked as you came, body shuddering through it and a damp patch forming below you on your grey comforter from your release. You'd stayed like that with shut eyes for a moment after, eventually switching the vibrator off and suddenly the silence was deafening.

Eddie was almost backing his way out of the door when you opened your eyes, bugging out slightly for a second but then you'd relaxed not even a moment later, body going soft as you snuggled back down into your pillows, "Enjoy the show then, handsome?" You asked, smirking at Eddie who was standing there like a deer caught in headlights.

"I, uh, I'm really sorry," Eddie's cheeks were flushing a deep shade of red, embarrassment taking over him as he stood there with a clear erection in his tight jeans. You made no move to shut your legs properly, only shuffling a little to let the muscles rest, your glistening pussy still clearly in his frame of sight. It had done nothing to help his problem.

"Are you just gonna stand there and look stupid or do you want some help with that?" You'd motioned towards his cock with your head, never losing the smirk on your face as you'd done it.

Only somehow once Eddie had eventually moved his feet it ended up like this, you hovering over the top of him as he lay flat on his back in the plush pillows on your bed, his face buried so deep in your sweet pussy he could hardly breathe, though he wouldn't be mad if that was the way he was gonna go.

His hands squeeze your thighs tightly, and you have to admit he's so good at this, licking and sucking on your clit like his life depends on it whilst you fist at his hair, wide hips fucking back and forth on his face in tandem with his tongue.

"You're such a little perv," You gasp, shuddering as his tongue breaches your hole and fucks up into you gently, you take the opportunity to get your fingers on your clit and rub it in little circles, "comin' in here to catch a glimpse of me fucking myself. Dirty boy."

Eddie whines into your cunt, gripping your thighs impossibly tighter and you don't miss the feeling of his body lifting off the bed slightly, clearly looking for some sort of relief. He's looking at you with his big, wet eyes, clearly watching to see if you're genuinely enjoying it and not just putting on the noises.

But you'd never felt like this before, every sound leaving your lips was genuine, and suddenly your fingers were being nudged away by his nose, your sensitive clit being assaulted by Eddie's sinful tongue again, this time fast and with purpose, in desperation of helping you chase your orgasm.

Your fingers wrap even tighter in his hair now, mouth falling open into loud and desperate whines, your impending orgasm building in your tummy so rapidly you have no time to think about it before your thighs are squeezing Eddie's head impossibly tight, legs shaking and hips fucking into his face with a cry of his name, "Oh my God, Eddie!"

Once he's sure you're done, Eddie finally comes up for a proper breath of air, though he immediately goes to attacking your thighs, nipping and sucking them hard enough to leave blooming purple bruises, staking his claim to you. All you can do is watch in admiration because you were sure men like this didn't exist outside of movies.

"Was that good for you?" He asks, voice all quiet and timid as he looks up at you through his thick lashes, glossy brown eyes swimming with something, like he's looking for validation that he did a good job.

"It was incredible, Eds," Your voice is all fucked out, "you did so good, can't believe how good it was."

Eddie keens at your praise, cheeks flushing dark and a stupid big grin spreading over his face, "Good, I'm glad your first sexual encounter was a decent experience."

You furrow your brows at him, moving to shuffle off of Eddie and settle next to him on the bed, "Who said it was over yet?" You ask, all orgasm dumb, "I asked you if you needed help and you ended up servicing me, isn't it meant to go that we help each other out?"

"Not necessarily, sweetheart," Eddie chuckles, making to sit up but then your hand comes out to push him back down, black stiletto shaped nails digging into his chest a little, "woah, babe, you don't have to do anything for me."

Your hand ghosts down his chest, stopping at the obvious tent in his jeans and you don't miss the way he hisses, sucking in a sharp breath even from that little movement, "But I want to. Don't you want to fuck me?"

If Eddie hadn't of known you he'd of thought your words were slightly insecure and child-like, but he knows you well enough to know you're putting on a whiney voice because you want him to fuck you without a second thought, like he would any other chick who asked, and not his best friend who hadn't even been touched by a man before.

"Sweetheart, that's a big step and I don't want you to feel like you're having to do this." Eddie rests his hand on top of yours, trying to gently push it away from his cock but you don't let him, batting it out of the way.

"Who else would I trust enough to give it to?" You ask, cocking your head to the side, "I trust you, silly. That's why I want this."

Eddie sucks in a breath, cock clearly kicking up a little in his pants and you gasp when you feel it, palm and fingers squeezing him slightly until he's shuddering.

It all happens in a bit of a blur, but suddenly you're under Eddie as he hovers over you in between your spread legs, your deft fingers unbuckling his belt and popping the button on his jeans. He helps you slide them down his thighs and then he kicks them off, leaving him bare from the waist down the same as you.

Your eyes bug out a little bit at the sight of his cock springing up, unapologetic and big. He's girthy and a lot longer than your rampant rabbit toy, and suddenly you're gulping, nervousness settling in even though you feel your cunt clench around nothing as you look.

Eddie catches this, catching your chin in between his thumb and forefinger, "Hey, we don't have to do this. Just say the word."

"Just fuck me, idiot." You sigh, caught off guard a little when Eddie grabs hold of his cock by the base and lets the tip glide in between your folds, catching and dragging on your clit so nicely that you're gasping.

The initial breach of his cock is a surprise, not necessarily uncomfortable but not good either. You suck in a breath and Eddie looks at you with worried, glassy eyes until you nod to tell him to keep going. He bottoms out eventually, filling up your cunt in a way that has you gasping for air and clenching your tight walls around him.

You don't miss how he hisses, the gorgeous moan that escapes his mouth, face softening a little. He's absolutely beautiful like this, all wanton and soft, submissive looking.

"Y'gonna move or are you worried you'll bust a nut too quick?" You quip, though it doesn't come out as mean as you planned because your voice is all breathy and stuttered from how full you feel.

Eddie chuckles a little, grabbing onto your thick thighs to use for purchase as he pulls back just a few inches, rocking into you slowly, "Is this okay?" He asks through a moan, and you can't believe how stupidly kind he's being.

"Yeah, s'good. You can speed up." You say honestly, enjoying the slight burn that you feel as he shifts. It's not terrible, you think, probably due to already coming twice before even getting this far.

"M'gonna come ridiculously fast," Eddie admits, before he pulls back properly and slides back into you, causing you both to moan in tandem. One of his hands slides under your shirt, roaming your soft tummy whilst the other grips your thigh as he starts a good rhythm.

Soon, you're a whining, moaning mess, "Fuck, Eddie," you cry, squeezing your eyes shut tight, "this feels so good, God."

"I know," Eddie's closer to you now, foreheads basically bumping as he fucks into you, his pace speeding up as he chases his high, "your pussy feels like fuckin' heaven around me."

You clench around his cock at his words, a broken cry escaping you, "Yeah?" You ask, hands reaching up to tangle in his hair tightly and you open your eyes to look into his, "Come, then. Come in me."

Eddie's mouth opens in a quiet moan, as he shoves forward a bit rougher, hips stunted a little as he comes, a feral grunt escaping him as he shoves into you to the hilt, your tight cunt milking him so deliciously he feels like he's died and gone to heaven.

You don't dwell on the fact you didn't come too, so busy looking at Eddie as he collapses onto the swell of your tits that you don't care. You knew it probably wouldn't happen, anyway. That'd happen eventually though, you were sure.

Your hands sooth at Eddie's scalp as you feel his cock soften in you, "Thank you for making my first time so good, handsome." You whisper, heart fluttering as he keens into your touch, "Couldn't of asked for anybody better."

"You're more than welcome, sweetheart." Eddie's voice sounds sleepy, muffled against your breasts, "You just say the word and we can do it again."

You giggle a little at that, "That sounds good. Maybe I can get on top next time."

You ignore the way his spent cock perks up a little at your words, giggling again as you begin to drift off.

[localplaguenurse]

Arlecchino/Pantalone/Reader NSFW Headcanons

Listen. Listen. Don't perceive me. It came to me briefly in a dream and I needed something to think about to get through my shift. Boss makes a dollar and I make a dime, so I simp on company time.

18+ CONTENT BELOW THE CUT, MINORS DNI AND ALL THAT, mentions of rough sex, oral, toys, voyeurism, a bit of degradation and praise, also mentions of female and male anatomy for reader because diversity, sub reader.

They’re lowkey competitive over who can dominate you better. They like asking you who makes you cum harder, who fucks you better while they ruin you, especially if you’re already too fucked out to talk. Otherwise, they both share nicely, but only because you can only handle so much.

While your pleasure is their top priority, Pantalone is the more selfish and cruel of the two. Arlecchino will please you freely, all you need to do is say the word. Pantalone on the other hand likes making you earn it, he wants you to “prove” why you deserve to come. When he does please you, it’s because he wants to see you fall apart, he wants the ego boost of having you crumble because of him.

Pantalone is more degrading while Arlecchino praises you more. Pantalone will call you the “perfect whore” as he’s thrusting into you, and Arlecchino will coo so sweetly into your ear. “Oh, that’s not very nice, especially since you’ve been so good for us. You don’t deserve such a rude title, right?” “If that were true, Knave, then why are they squeezing me tighter?”

I have the mental image of eating Arlecchino out while Pantalone fucks you, and when you lift your head up to breathe, Pantalone grabs you by the hair and pushes you back down. “Naughty little thing, trying to move away when neither of us gave you permission. Keep your head down until you’ve made the Knave come.”

Pantalone is generally the rougher of the two, and I’d argue stricter, but Arlecchino is the worst when she wants to be. Namely, she’s mean when it comes to punishments, whereas the only time Pantalone is especially mean is when you’re being difficult. If you’re a brat, the two of them will share a look, and Pantalone will simply tilt your chin up to look at him before he smiles, whispers a little “good luck,” to you, and walks off to take a seat and watch the show. 

Neither of them are scared to leave marks but Arlecchino will break skin if you don’t stop her. Her nails are sharp, and she’s not afraid to spank or whip you until you either cry mercy or Pantalone takes pity on you and stops her. “I love seeing them cry as much as you do, but I would like to have a turn before you break them for the night.”

Sometimes if he’s too tired after a long day of work, he’ll just sit back and watch you and Arlecchino go at it, stroking himself off as you do. He might join in at the end so he doesn’t feel completely left out, and besides, you miss him, don’t you?

It’s hard to say who has the best tongue, but you’d argue it’s Arlecchino. Since her nails are too long and sharp, she can only grab at your ass and thighs when she eats you out, or she has to be careful if she jerks you off. Pantalone’s nails are much shorter and duller, so he can safely finger/stroke you when he goes down on you. 

If you’re amab and very lucky/well behaved, Arlecchino will be more than happy to ride you. Unfortunately (cough cough fortunately cough) she’s going to literally ride you until she’s milked you of everything you can give her, and even then she might keep going. 

The toys. Whatever you want, they not only have them, but are more than happy to use them on you. Vibrators, beads, plugs, handcuffs, ropes, clamps, gags, and Arlecchino has a very impressive strap collection. Just know that if Arlecchino pulls out the strap, you will be taking her and Pantalone at the same time before the night ends. You at least get to pick how. 

Another image in my head, though it’s more funny than sexy, is you getting fucked by Arlecchino and Pantalone making a snide remark about her technique, and she just turns to him, still going, and threatens to peg him instead. He politely declines but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t thinking about it. 

You are going to feel like sore jello. Happy sore jello, but you’re going to need help once the three of you are done. Pantalone will have the staff prepare some snacks for you and Arlecchino will bring you to the bathroom to run a bath. They’ll both get you cleaned and patched up, both of them coddling you and telling you how good of a job you did, you’re always so good for them. They’ll help you into some fresh clothes and even fresher bedsheets, ensuring that you get the best rest you can.

[cherryxsapphic]

Miss Delight sfw alphabet 🎀

So I heard the children were hungry for Miss Delight content well I'm here to serve 😌

I hope y'all enjoy ♡

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

At first, she’s very closed off and sometimes passive-aggressive because you’re unfamiliar, and she’s honestly just scared. Once you manage to coax her out of her shell (heh), she’s very touchy and wants to make sure you’re taking care of yourself to the best of your abilities. Being an anatomy teacher, she knows how much you’re supposed to be eating and sleeping, and if she finds out you’re lacking in either, you will never hear the end of it. 

She will force you into self-care and snuggle with both the most threatening grin and the kindest eyes you have ever seen. Although she herself doesn’t really need sleep, she will lie down with you just to be near you.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Definitely the mom friend. She’s got snacks literally everywhere you can think of and will not hesitate to pull one out if you need/want one. In her shirt pocket, she carries granola bars and maybe a bandaid or two in case you’re accident-prone (like me oop-)

Gives the best advice too. Having relationship trouble? She's right there with solutions or just an ear to listen.

Don't know what to make for dinner? She's got cookbooks you can look through.

Want someone to come with you to the grocery store? Sure, just give her a second to grab the suitcase she calls a purse.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

I like to think that despite Miss Delight’s body being mostly plastic, she still runs pretty cold, so every chance she gets, she wants to sap your warmth like a cumbersome house cat.

At night, once you lay down to go to sleep, she is all over you. You alternate between spooning and laying on each other's chests, trying to be as close to each other as possible. During the hotter months, she makes do with just holding your hand.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Homegirl absolutely cannot cook, please for the love of god, DO NOT let her in the kitchen EVER.

But besides that, Miss Delight is very good at cleaning! While you handle the cooking and do your best to help her in any way you can, especially after she deals with so many kids daily, girly deserves a rest.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Simply impossible. You would have to die before thinking about breaking up with her.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quickly would they want to get married?) 

Marriage isn't really something Miss Delight would think about at first. She's happy just to be together with you because she loves you. She would still be perfectly content being your domestic partner if it never came up.

If you call her your wife, even lightheartedly, she would probably laugh along with you, but that might get the gears turning, and you would sit down to talk about it a while later.

When you propose, she wouldn’t  want a huge flashy event like at a restaurant. A romantic date night at home with her favorite meal by candlelight  would be her dream proposal.

She wouldn’t want a huge flashy ring because honestly, it's a bit much. Instead, she'd most likely go for a smaller solitaire diamond or just a simple gold wedding band.

 G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?) 

Physically, she may not fully grasp just how strong she is until she hurts you by complete accident. Once she realizes, she’s incredibly apologetic and is willing to do anything to make it up to you.

Emotionally, she’s extremely fragile because of everything she’s been put through in the last ten years or so. Some days are easier than others, but other days she will be so riddled with anxiety and stress that all you can do is sit with her and let her know she's okay.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?) 

Once she warms up to you, she’ll velcro herself to your hip. She’s spent 10 years by herself, so she is extremely touch-starved and will take advantage of all your time together. 

Because she’s mostly plastic (with the exception of her torso, which is strangely body temperature), she’s a strange combination of temperatures and textures, so it was weird to get used to at first.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It would be one random night, probably after dinner. The two of you are cuddled up on the couch, not really paying attention to what's on TV.

She keeps glancing up at you and looking away, almost like she's worried about something. So, you nudge her and ask what's up.

Miss Delight is silent for a second before whispering, “I uh, I think I love you,” and immediately looks down at her nails as if trying to pretend she didn't just say that.

You’re still looking at her, and you wrap your arm around her a little tighter. You lean down and place a gentle kiss on the top of her head before whispering a soft

“I love you too.” 

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Being the youngest out of all her sisters, competition over everything was seen as normal. She could handle jealousy like a pro until you came into the picture.

Now if another woman so much as breathes near you, she's pissed. If she could, she would keep you at home all to herself, but instead she will shoot that woman the nastiest glare she can muster and just will her into going away.

You'll talk about it after you get home, and she will think she did absolutely nothing wrong and was just protecting what's hers. Of course, you can't really be mad at her, so with a few kisses, she is forgiven for her mile-wide possessive streak.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?) 

Imagine kissing the edge of your sink, but it presses back. She has no lips, but she’ll use her chompers to the best of her ability to give you all the kisses you deserve. Her favorite place to kiss you would be your neck cause she has a biting kink real <333

She would also enjoy neck and forehead kisses from you, especially if you're sitting in her lap so she can wrap her arms around you.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?) 

Homegirl is a teacher, she’s gonna be the best around kiddos of any age. 

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?) 

Usually, you would wake up alone simply because she’s an early riser and can’t stand to be idle for too long. She’ll gently shake you awake and hand over a piping hot cup of coffee, just how you like it (she hates energy drinks and scolds you if you start your day with one)

If, by some miracle, you manage to crawl out of bed before her, she loves when you rouse her with gentle butterfly kisses all over her face (bonus points if you’ve got a plate of eggs and bacon with you)

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

At first, she wouldn’t really know what to do with you. Miss Delight has spent a long time just watching and patrolling, so she would continue the habit regardless of your presence there. After you two get to know each other, she starts lingering closer to your room, almost like she’s guarding you. Gradually, she’d start laying down with you and not quite sleeping, but she enjoys resting with you. It gives her a sense of normalcy.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

As a teacher, she knows how to share personal stuff without making it personal, if that makes sense. It would take some time to get her to open up truly, and even then, some topics are absolutely off the table.

Should you accidentally mention one of the topics she won't talk about, like how the cracks in her face got there, or her sisters, or where she happened to be in August of 1995, she'll completely shut down and won't speak for a good few hours.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

You would think that because she's a school teacher, she has the patience of a saint. You'd be correct, but that only applies to little kiddos.

If you're an adult acting dumb or wasting her time on purpose, she won't hold back, and you'll probably get something between a pointed glare and an all-out verbal lashing.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or forget everything?)

Her brain is like a sponge; if she deems the topic important enough, she will absorb every bit of information she can. 

You just so happen to mention your favorite song? She'll memorize the lyrics on the same day.

Mention a dish you happen to like? Well, she can't cook for shit, but she will memorize a recipe to help you make it.

Miss Delight will learn your routine down to the average time you wake up in the morning so that she can make fresh coffee for the two of you to enjoy.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

As cliché as it is, her favorite moment would be your first kiss. She had gone to extreme lengths to make sure everything was perfect for the two of you.

She had ordered your favorite takeout and set it up nicely on the dining room table, went out and bought a nice bottle of wine for you to share, and she even put on a touch of makeup for confidence.

You had come home and had probably the worst day ever. Your coworkers were just piling more and more shit on top of you, and your boss expected everything to get done. By the time you left, you were ready to just collapse into bed, dinner be damned.

When you walked in the door, you were greeted by Miss Delight standing next to the table, which was covered in your favorite food. She grinned and asked how your day was while stepping closer to take your coat off. God, you loved it when she did stuff like this.

With your coat now off and in her hands, you wrapped your arms around her shoulders and pulled her into you for the warmest hug you've had in years. You lean up and gently place your hand on her cheek before whispering about how good she looks, how much you missed her, and how nice she was for surprising you like this.

“W-well, I wanted it to be perfect.”

“Wanted what to be perfect, love?”

“This..” 

She whispered and leaned in to give you probably the sweetest kiss you've ever had.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Miss Delight and Barb would literally kill someone if they upset or, god forbid, harmed you in some way. She's definitely up there on the protectiveness scale.

Miss Delight is a very anxious creature, so she would definitely like to avoid dangerous situations now that she's in a good place with you. If something bad were to happen, she could step up but would definitely prefer if you either stood in front of her to shield her or wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Miss Delight absolutely loves to go all out for everything. As mentioned with your first kiss, she set up the perfect date night because she wanted to do something nice for the two of you.

Anniversaries would be something very special to her, considering the fact that you might as well be her soulmate at this point. Both of you will go all out for this celebration, calling out of work and spending the entire day with each other.

This also goes for holidays as well, especially like Christmas or Valentine's Day, because imagine sitting with her and making cute little Valentine's Day decorations to hang around the house or decorating the Christmas tree like girly goes all out.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

She bites, but not even in a sexual way most times. She just thinks that’s a normal way to show affection, and it has left you bruised numerous times (not that some of you would mind)

Miss Delight also leaves coffee cups and dishes EVERYWHERE. If she takes one with her to the bathroom or her home office, she will absolutely leave it there. If she takes a travel mug to her classroom, you are never seeing it again.

Your good plates? You’d better keep those in the dining room. Otherwise, you might sit on one that she LEFT ON THE FUCKING COUCH BEFORE BED, GOD DAMMIT!!

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Miss Delight puts on a façade of not really caring what she looks like, but every so often, you’ll catch glimpses of her looking in a mirror. She’ll be staring at her cracked face, wondering if there’s anything that can be done or if she’ll be stuck looking broken forever. 

When you catch her in one of these moods, you always take your time to comfort and reassure her that she's beautiful (which she is) and that you will always love her no matter what she looks like.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Absolutely she would. You are quite possibly the best thing that has happened to her, and now that she's got you, she finally has someone to rely on and help care for her.

If you left, she would be torn apart mentally. The heartbreak might be enough for her to completely snap.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Miss Delight likes to jumpscare you sometimes. By standing still in a dark hallway or grabbing you from behind whenever you're not looking, she thinks it's funny, and your screams are really cute too!

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

As previously mentioned, she does not like energy drinks and will scold you if she catches you drinking one.

She hates cigarettes too, especially the smell and how bad they are for you.

Also, if you have a habit of cracking your neck, back, or knuckles, she won't say anything, but she hates the sound. When you do it, she'll stop what she's doing just to turn and glare at you.

Z = Zzz (What are their sleep habits?)

She doesn’t need to sleep. She didn’t for a long time until she met you. When you first laid down to go to sleep, she watched over you to make sure nothing messed with you. As time went on, she got more and more curious until she worked up the courage to ask if she could lie down with you; you just looked so warm and cozy…

She rested peacefully for the first time in over ten years that night. 

Special thanks to my beloved @s1nful-sa1nt this probably would not have ever gotten out without them, so I love you very much <33

[emmitaaa4]

Addressing some fandom BS inconsistencies

Gwyn was shadow mommy, Az was shadow daddy, they were gonna have shadow babies with her extra super pliable bones.

I audibly chocked when I read this @nikethestatue (btw everything said in this post was on point). No but seriously this is how they sound, too many of them insisting that there is nothing wrong with basing the likelihood of a ship on who has the more suitable uterus to be with a man... cause supposedly they're just picking up on the hints SJM wrote for them? She likes babies for HEAs so ofc children are the end all be all of a relationship, plus there's absolutely no way that she could ever write an adoption plot SJM is literally adopted and has done it in other series. Selective reading strikes again.

A minimum amount of critical thinking would tell you that 1) the infamous *magical uterus change* scene was about nessian (& feysand), not about any ship; 2) if SJM had written Nesta changing Elain's uterus, it would have given too much away, not to mention 3) how disturbing/violating it would have been for Nesta to change her sister's reproductive anatomy WITHOUT HER CONSENT?! None of it makes sense narratively; my girl Nes would never, especially given the trauma they both suffered from having their bodily autonomy--and so much more--ripped away by the Cauldron.

This argument is so trivialized that I see it every other day on reddit/tiktok/*insert media app*, and yet elriels are the toxic side of the fandom? The ones whom people are allowed to insult, to ridicule for theories all made in good fun, the women that are villainized over a difference of opinion? Don't get me wrong, there's assholes on both sides and people keep calling one another variations of delulu (and the nastier personal attacks). But by painting this fandom-wide villain there is such a lack of accountability for the plethora of harmful talking points spread by other portions of the fandom. (I've been silently reading the anti-elain & anti-elriel tags for like a year, and I'm on tiktok. Yes, I have self-destructive tendencies).

Anyways.

I never understood either how people ever actually thought (or well still think) that gwynriel would happen BEFORE elucien?? It makes no sense logically, narratively, or in terms of characterization & the arc she's set up for Elain, Azriel, and Lucien. Yet it took one controversial bonus chapter for people to decenter Elain in her own story, that is make her choice of romantic partner--which SJM spent 3+ books setting up--Azriel's. It took one bonus chapter that soo many readers are still unaware of, to brush Elain off as a "sexual object" Az is using to distract himself until his therapist-extraordinaire Gwyn comes in and heals him all up. Because ofc she will: she's badass and not the "passive and weak and boring" Eplain (aka "Plant" or "brain dead gardener"), she fits the YA archetype of the spunky warrior-girl so she can handle his darkness, and SJM supposedly spent time fleshing her out because she wrote her as a LI for Azriel; she's made for him, she is what he needs to grow (I actually enjoyed Gwyn's character btw, just pointing out how silly it all sounds). “Next book is a love triangle between Elain/Az/Gwyn” “Elain will turn evil or is secretly evil”. So you're telling me that SJM would pit Elain & Gwyn against each other in a love triangle over a man... all because of a necklace that was not even mentioned once in the actual books? Please, let's be logical for a second.

All this because instead of reading the bonus chapter in the context of the books, some people are reading the books in the context of the bonus chapter. Which now that I think of it is probably why so many people mischaracterize Az the way they do--because yes we know enough of his character to know half of the stuff the fandom diagnoses him with is questionable. Azriel? Entitled incel x fuckboy hybrid (gotta be the first of his kind, minute slay ig)? Interesting tell me more. No joke I saw a semi-popular post on here where a gwynriel said they read the bonus WITHOUT HAVING READ ANY OF THE BOOKS. I'm sorry, ship wars are silly and believe it or not idc who ppl ship, but it makes it hard to take some of the things they say seriously.

All this to say that the fandom isn't even debating the right thing. If you consider everything SJM has said in her interviews:

(she's been planting seeds for Nesta & Elain's book since acomaf; she knows who she is writing the first 2 books about + is keeping things open for the 3rd one--with 5 different ship options--which automatically rules out "Elain will close the series"; she said she's doing research for Elain's book in the ACOFAS bonus & there's seeds for future bookS in acofas; all she said recently about her beloved *heroines* and the themes of fate/true love/choice she finds *very* interesting & wants to discuss)

and if you also consider all she's written in the actual books (elain's characterization + the overarching plot in general & how she fits into it), then it's pretty evident that Elain's book is next.

The question then would be who is the MMC / 2nd PoV in her book, aka would acotar 5 be an elucien or an elriel story? Because logically, gwynriel was always a consequence of elucien. I honestly do not understand how people don't see that.

Oh and they always think they're gagging elriels with the "obviously Azriel is the next MC" as if elriels aren't saying the same thing? And we're the ones twisting info and not making sense. It's just funny at this point.

---sidenote: I realize that this post generalizes some things, and I just wanted to say that I have interacted with lovely eluciens / people on either side of this headache of a ship war. My hard limit is Elain haters though... back off I say 🤺 BACK OFF 🤺

---sidenote 2: I would have written this as a reblog except im not entirely sure how tumblr works and I get no visibility from them rip.

[saintyveningstar]

Mama! Abby Anderson headcannons!

No. 2

Part 2 of Mom! Abby Headcannons !

No. 1

❄️The biggest issue her kids have is maintaining eye contact while holding a conversation, and she has to remind them at every turn — they got it from her, as she used to be incredibly shy as a kid

❄️Abby has to remind her kids (and sometimes Ellie) to keep their dirty boots outside if they're not going to clean them right away

❄️(In my AU) Abby's son Absalem is usually called Abby or Abby junior, not only because of his name but also because of the traits of her that he emits

❄️She does not tolerate her kids drinking, smoking, or doing drugs of any kind - her family is prone to asthma and other serious conditions that affect the breathing or heart - also, she just doesn't want it going on, plain and simple

❄️"Don't let me find out, alright hun?"

❄️"Do not make me turn this fucking car around, you hear me?!"

❄️shes fair but also strict so if she planned on beating your ass she's gonna definitely do it

❄️"move your hand, ah-ah." She'll snap while delivering a spanking. "We're not doing that, move your hand before I get real mad."

❄️she doesn't tolerate fighting or talking back to the teacher, none of that and will get you together very quickly if she catches wind something like that has happened

❄️her children don't really have problems with grades (because they're her kids, duh) so when grades drop she knows something is the matter

❄️has to open bottles, cans, and jars for literally everyone

❄️teaches consent rules very early on and enforces that consent rules are applicable to everything and everyone

- (her teaching them) "Just like when you knock and ask someone if you may come in, you always ask someone if you're allowed to touch their body or enter their personal space." She explains, "Never assume, it's better to be safe than sorry. People should do the same for you, and if they're not you call me or come to me and you tell me immediately, do I make myself clear?"

❄️If she knows her kid hasn't been eating enough due to stress or a possible eating disorder she will put more food on the plate, or bring them more snacks during the day, sticking around for a conversation to watch them eat it then leave - wether it's noticed or not, they'll never talk about it

❄️plays hockey with them when they have free time

❄️gossips with them about doctors and nurses at the hospital she works at trying to turn it into Greys anatomy part 2

❄️God bless whatever other kid that tries to court her kid

-- she'll open the door and just give them the death glare (she was warned to be normal and welcoming) "Miss-Missus Anderson, Hi. Uh-Uh I'm here for your daughter Judah. I-Is that okay?"

Her eyebrow will cock, "hm." Then she'll turn, "Jude, honey! Your date is here!" Then she'll turn back. "Hurt my daughter, and I’ll—.... Hi, hun! Have a great time." Abby whispered, but her shovel talk is interrupted by her daughter appearing, but she definitely gives the date the eyes one last time before closing the door.

[theflyindutchwoman]

So, did you have something you were gonna ask me? I can't remember. Don't make me hurt you. Do you want to go out on a date? Yeah. I do.

| ANATOMY OF A SCENE - CHENFORD EDITION 5.09 - Take Back

There is something deeply romantic, dreamy even, in the way this scene is directed… The dimmed lights, the heart eyes, the hushed tones… All of this just give off this very intimate feel… this mysterious and exciting ambiance.

Now add the imagery of Tim playing with a piece of glass from the scuffle, examining it like it's a diamond or something equally precious... Of Lucy saying 'I do'… Bookending this scene with these two moments is certainly bold, but it does paint a clear picture of their level of commitment. There's also the ever present motif of the door : the one left, literally and metaphorically, open by Chris' departure... and the one in Tim's office, left open as well, for Lucy to come in. Not to mention the symbolism of them starting this new journey together in their Watch Commander's office. A not so subtle reminder of the last obstacle standing between them : having Tim and Lucy take that step there definitely underlines how they don't plan on letting the chain of command tear them apart. As it is, the fact that Lucy barely waited after breaking up with Chris to come back to the station and talk to Tim, dispels any doubt that she might have had second thoughts, like he was worried at first. Like he still worries when she shows up, a bit hesitant before walking in… or when she mentions Chris… But it doesn't last long.

And then, add the body language, the movement of the scene. Like how Tim and Lucy mirror each other flawlessly, emphasising how they are both on the same page… Or how they stand on opposite sides of the office, gradually coming together. First with Lucy, entering the office slowly. Then Tim, getting up to meet her halfway. There's still a gap between them though, and it coincides with their discussion about Chris. By this point, they're facing each other, hands clasped in front of them, a gesture made to appear more confident while feeling vulnerable : they know what this means now that they're both single… It's as scary as it is exciting. They just need to take one last step. Literally and figuratively.

That's when the atmosphere turns really electric… And Lucy being the one to take the leap this time, looking around to make sure no one is paying attention to them, subtly telling Tim she is ready, is perfect. Her bedroom eyes when she invites him to ask her out again… She exudes so much sensuality here. His look of surprise is endearing, as if he can't believe her forwardness to do this at work, in their boss' office, where anybody could see them or walk in. As if he can't believe they're finally there… The way he has to rile her up, something he loves doing, by pretending he doesn't know what she means… Or how she simply threatens to hurt him, introducing a new love language for them in the process - and taking a page from his own playbook, when he used to threaten her as a rookie… This is the perfect combination of old and new… A subtle way to illustrate how some things never change… And some do. How their dynamic will remain mostly unchanged.

They are both so excited to start this new relationship. Her smile… The intense look on his face… The longing, even more apparent than when he was about to come in her apartment… Walking slowly towards her, maintaining eye contact, and taking that final step - literally - to join her… Properly asking her out on a date this time, not just have dinner, looking all smitten… Her smile and twinkle in her eyes… 'I do'… They're beaming and glowing and ecstatic… And it's such a good look on them. This is both soft and sizzling at the same time. That final shot of them looking happily at each other, their position still mirroring the other, without a care in the world on who might be watching, is gorgeous. They're just enthralled, spellbound… And this time, there's no interruption, they get to have this moment just for them. To bask in it. As they deserve. As we deserve.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

reposting one i read on reddit that got removed but i just need to know what tumblr thinks:

AITA for finishing in my girlfriend during the full moon, thinking it was not possible for her to be fertile?

I know the title sounds weird, but I promise this isn't a shitpost, metaphor, or a joke. I (20M) was raised by a single dad, never knew my mom who left me as a baby, and growing up I didn't really have many female (or male, tbh) friends.

The reason I say this is that I don't know all that much about female anatomy; yes, I had sex ed in school, but seriously don't remember anything except "wear a condom", basically.

I met my girlfriend "Beth" (21F) in college and she's the best. It's my first relationship, her second. We've been together for a little more than a year now, and had sex for the first time about half a year ago. After the first couple times, Beth told me that she has a really regular and average period that she's been keeping track of with an app since she was literally 14, plus in the last few years she also started taking her temperature to get even more accurate results; I didn't understand exactly how this works, but she was so reassuring and confident I didn't question it.

Ok, now this is where I might start sounding like an idiot... So she told me her period is an extremely regular 28 days, and she has literally only strayed from this pattern once since she was 14. I also am aware that moon cycles are 28 days. (Correction here: since this incident, I Googled and it's actually about 29 days... but that's besides the point I guess.)

Women tend to be associated with the moon, like Artemis; I truly, deeply believed that the moon phases and all women's menstrual cycles were inherently connected, but just like, different women had their more fertile days with full moons whereas for some it corresponds to a different moon phase, like the new moon, and this is why women differed.

So the reason Beth told me about her period being super regular is that she was confident she knew when she was or was not fertile, and told me she wanted me to finish in her on safe days. We've been having sex like this for the last four months where she tells me the window of time she's safe, she's happy, I'm happy, it's working fine.

I started noticing that the moon tends to be really full and bright every time we have unprotected sex, maybe not necessarily always on a "true" full moon, but definitely around that time. I made a mental note that my girlfriend is a "fertile during a new moon (when you can't see the moon)" sort of girl. If you're wondering why I never just outright asked her about this, it just seemed really obvious to me and I didn't see the point in talking to her about something potentially a little embarrassing for no reason.

June 3rd was the most recent true full moon, and I decided to sort of surprise her by inviting her to my apartment and just pouncing on her wordlessly as soon as she came in. She was into it, we had sex, I finished inside her, she didn't complain or stop me at all.

While cooling off, she remarked that she didn't remember telling me about her safe days in a while, so I must be tracking her period, which she actually thought was sweet lol. I said, "well of course it's a safe day, the moon is so bright". She asked me what I meant, and I said something like "I know you can't possibly get pregnant during a full moon".

She seemed really confused and started getting a bit tense, questioning me more, and I, also confused, started explaining to her about the moon cycle thing I fully believed up until that moment.

This is where she freaked out completely, jumped up and asked me if I was a complete moron. She started yelling at me and freaking out about how insane and irresponsible I was for finishing in her. I was truly shocked I had no idea what to say, especially because it WAS still truly a safe day, but she actually just grabbed her stuff and stormed off before I could do anything.

Well, after she left I googled a bunch of stuff and yep, turns out I'm completely incorrect. That being said, it WAS still a safe day for Beth and she wasn't actually upset about me finishing in her or anything, just the reason I did, I guess. So, AITA?

So generally I don't want to rerun posts from reddit unless it's your own story, but we'll make an exception just this once

What are these acronyms?

[sweetadonisbutbetter]

Show/Movies I would show the Helluva Boss characters

This is rlly random but this started with the thought of Blitz liking MLP and kinda spiraled from there.

Blitzø

MLP: I think this one is pretty self-explanatory. I think he would like the ponies and the whole friendship thing. Actuakky think he would bully a brony to get a figure of his favs (and tell them to shower). He would probs love Pinkie Pie. (this stemmed from This Day Aria playing lol)

Spirit: horse.

Loona

Teen Wolf: A show I know nothing about. Just would show it to her. This would probably get me killed.

Alpha and Omega: I wouldn't even get to 10 minutes in the movie. I am dead

Moxxie

Steven Universe (both the shows and movie): Purely because of the music. If anything, he would also enjoy the animation and he would LOVEE Pearl. He would create a teir list of all the songs and rate them.

Sooo many movies to show him, but I would show him, but I have to say Chicago. Once he learns the songs it's over for literally everyone.

Millie

Tbh not really a show, but any crime documentary or documentaries with the baby animals.

Selena (1997): I think Millie would LOVEE Selena, and I also want to instill the hatered ofYolanda into her. That woman could never have too many haters.

Stolas

Any historic romance drama (like Bridgerton): We already know he loves telenovelas, so I also think that he would love the messiness of the relationships. You know how in every season, the main couple would have an arguement and not talk for a while? He is sobbing like a baby LMFAO- Also would show him any romance K-drama, esp the BL ones.

Moulin Rouge: Kinda historic, but mainly bc it has main character death lol he would also enjoy the music.

Striker

Moonshiners: I have no idea what this show is about, probably about people making moonshine. Never really watched it,but I have seen glimpses of it when my grandpa would watch it. Think because of it, he would probs try to make his own moonshine.

The Godfather: He would probs like all the violence lol. it just fits him idk kekw

Asmodeus

Grey's Anatomy: Not because it's a doctor show, but because it's SOOO MESSY LMFAOO- Have y'all seen that one tik tok of the person with the chart of who slept with who? That would be Ozzie. Also think he would love the drama.

(This is for both him and Fizz) Who Framed Roger Rabbit: Do I need to explain??

Alt: Burlesque: rlly don't know how to explain this one

Fizzarollie

Any old cartoon: I think he would like the loonyness of the charaters and would probs would us some of the gags.

Refer back to Asmodeus

Alt: Adam Sandler movies: i just find them funny, plus some of his romance movies are cute

[bingbongsupremacy]

Knock knock Pt. 2 (Last Part)

Pairing: Ellie Williams x Reader

Warnings: Use of pet name 'baby' and nick names.

Summary: A simple request to turn the music down turns into a frustrating back and forth battle. Why does your neighbor have to be so damn attractive?

This fic does not mention anything about the way the readers' body is shaped, their weight, their height, etc. If I happened to miss something or accidentally described the readers' appearance anywhere, please let me know so I can fix it.

*Not Proof Read*

ABC List TLOU Master list

*****

" You fucking narc. " Venom drips off of Ellie's voice. Her eyebrows are drawn together, anger splayed across her face.

I hold onto the door handle tightly, staring at the girl on the porch. " I told you what would happen if you didn't shut your little party down. I'm not playing. Williams. " I try to keep my tone cool.

" I'm not either. This isn't over. " With that, Ellie storms away. She slams her front door, mumbling to herself in the process.

Serves her right.

------

" I'm going to kill Ellie Williams. " I huff, burying my head into my hands.

Loud, music vibrates off of the walls. Dina rolls her eyes. " You just keep making things worse by pranking her. She was pissed when you sent 50 pizzas over and she had to pay. No wonder she's throwing another party. "

" She'll easily make the $300 back. She sells fucking drugs, she makes more than I do. " I mutter.

" Maybe try talking to her again? I mean, if it's bugging you that much, it's always worth another shot. Just don't piss her off this time. " Abby suggests, her eyes not tearing away from the medical anatomy book in her hands.

" She's pissed off by everything I do. I literally asked to borrow a pencil once and she told me to fuck off. " I sigh. " But I guess it's worth a shot. Are you guys seriously not bothered by the constant noise? "

Dina shrugs. " Not really. I mean, we live on party row. Of course people are going to throw parties all night. "

I just want some peace. At least like an hour.

I push myself up from my spot on our couch. I'll just try asking nicer.

Once again, I find myself wandering through Ellie's house trying to find her. Eventually my eyes land on the brunette. Her head is tossed back from laughter, her blunt loosely hanging out of her fingers. She's manspreading on the couch, a guy snorting what I assume is coke next to her.

Her eyes eventually find mine as she scans the room. A small smirk makes its' way onto her face. She breathes in another puff from her blunt before releasing it in my direction.

God, even through the smoke she's hot.

" Look who's here guys, the cockblocker. " Ellie teases. " What can I do for you, babe? "

My stomach tumbles from the pet name. I can't tell if it's from nerves or from excitement.

I ignore the feeling, trying to focus on the reason I came over here.

" I wanted to see if we could work out a deal. " I stand a few feet away from the brunette, my eyes not leaving hers.

Ellie's eyes break contact as they scan me up and down. " A deal? " She leans forward, her full attention on me. " What kind of deal? " her eyebrow cocks up in curiosity.

" The kind where we both end up happy. You get to throw your parties and I get a full nights' sleep. "

Ellie stands up, taking a step closer to me. The faint scent of cologne and weed fills my nostrils. " Go on. "

" I'll pay you 100 bucks a week to shut the parties down at 10. Please. "

" No. " Ellie's voice is cool.

I furrow my eyebrows. " No? " I was really hoping she'd take the deal. I mean, who doesn't want free fucking money. The only thing she'd have to do is shut down the party. " What? Um, fine. I can probably do like 10 bucks more. But barely, I'd have to pick up a few more shifts. I- "

Ellie interrupts me. " I don't want your money, Y/N. "

" Then what do you want? " I ask, desperation in my tone. " I can't stay up like this anymore. I've-I've tried earplugs, white nose, everything. Fuck I- "

" I want you to go out with me. "

Ellie's words surprise me.

I search her face for any sign of a joke.

Her expression is serious. Her eyes stare into mine. A glinter of what I think might be worry or nervousness shining at me.

" What? "

Ellie repeats the words. " I want you to go out with me. I'll stop the parties if you go out with me. " She shrugs, pulling the blunt up to her slightly chapped lips.

My eyebrows furrow. " But why? "

Ellie rolls her eyes, a smirk playing on her lips. " Because you clearly want to. Don't think I haven't noticed the way you check me out. Not that I have an issue, I think you're hot too. "

I feel heat burn against my cheeks. " I do not check you out. "

Ellie nods mockingly. " Sure you don't, babe. What I said still stands. If you go on a date with me, " She shrugs. " I'll stop the parties. "

" Completely? " I ask.

" Completely. " She confirms.

I'm silent for a minute. Ellie continues to look into my eyes, her confident exterior seeming to grow slightly less confident as the time goes on. She looks a little nervous. I've never seen her like this before.

" Fine. " I finally talk. " I'll go out with you. "

Relief flashes across Ellie's face. " Alright. " She grins. " Friday sound good? "

I nod. " Friday. "

Hopefully this is worth it.

Tag: @macaroni676

[bug-bites]

one of my fav things to read/write is a f!reader x Simon "Ghost" Riley, where the reader is almost exactly like ghost. I'm talking full black mask, (maybe legally dead) few words, silent, callsign generally spooky like Reaper or Phantom, and I was wondering if you would wanna do that?

Usually I have reader as a childhood friend or adopted sibling of Roach, which is why roach is so comfortable around ghost. He's just used to it. If it's pure fluff or platonic that's completely fine, and if you don't wanna do that it's also fine!! I just thought I might as well shoot my shot :)

Your an amazing writer, have an awesome day <3

seeing double

cw: canon-typical violence, breif (pun intended) mention of ghost having skeleton boxers (nothing like explicit though i dont even know if this needs to be mentioned tbh but better safe than sorry), ghost gets shot womp womp, angst w/ a happy ending, so many military inaccuracies, barely proofread :P

pairing: platonic!simon 'ghost' riley x f!reader, gary 'roach' sanderson & reader

characters: simon 'ghost' riley, gary 'roach' sanderson (price, gaz and soap mentioned v briefly!)

authors note: omg you are so sweet thank you so much!! sorry this took so long i've been so busy with things, i hope you don't mind that i got a bit silly with this one and basically wrote a fic in jot notes 😭 (ALSO ROACH MENTION!! I LOVE MY BBYG THANK YOU ANON <3)

when you first met ghost he genuinely thought this was a joke. the balaclava, the whole death motif, your callsign being phantom which is literally synonymous with ghost, even your attitude was so eerily similar to him. it was like looking in a mirror

it didn't help when he tilted his head you mirrored your actions

i think he wouldn't gravitate immediately to you, it's not that he didn't like you he just felt a bit odd with how similar you two were, in all honesty he was probably slightly unnerved by you

soap and gaz definitely crack jokes about you being the second coming of ghost or something dumb like that

whenever anyone is referring to you and ghost and phantom it was always "the ghosts" or "ghost and girl ghost" which pissed you OFF

roach cant count all the times you have ranted to him about how everyone treats ghost like he came up with your whole aesthetic and you copied him when you have been doing this for YEARS before you even met ghost!

"and everyone acts like he invented skeletons and being legally dead! how self centered do you have to be to act like you invented skeleton iconography?! THEYRE SKELETONS. THATS LIKE BASIC HUMAN ANATOMY. and its always men taking the credit- god its so stupid! i did shit this first and how do i know that he isn't copying me huh?? did we ever think of that?? and ghost is such a basic ass fucking name like really. ghost? bet the only reason he wears that mask is to cover up his casper sized forehead."

roach knows that you're annoyed and you probably aren't trying to be super mean- maybe you don't even think ghosts forehead is casper sized! but hey, he isn't trying to argue while you look like you're about to rip someone's head off

instead he opts for calmly signing words of comfort lest you tear ghosts head off (with a few minor corrections)

"yes roach i know phantoms are pretty much the same as ghosts but that's not the point. you're basically my brother. you have to be on my side. that's how it works."

its good you and roach get along with each other. however, since you are just so similar with someone whos name starts with s and ends with imon "ghost" riley he becomes friends with roach quite easily and rants to him too

"she thinks shes so fookin crea'ive but you know wha? she isnt. bet ive been in SAS longer than her. wheres 'er skull tattoo at?? cause i got a whole sleeve done almost a decade ago! she isnt the first to come up wi' this. see, i get youre friends wi' 'er but truth is she di'nt come up wi' all o' this 'erself and she isn't half as dedicated as me. i even got skeleton boxers! she got those??- wait no dont answer tha' i dont wan' tha' image in my head."

for the first month or two whenever you see each other its clear you two do not get along.

roach tried to crack a joke but if anything it just made you hate ghost more

"hey, phantom. what's got two legs and bleeds?" "half a dog." you and ghost respond in unison

the rest of the day you dont even acknowledge each other. price makes a joke about how "you both are acting like you killed someone" which you mutter a small "oh im going to that's for sure" under your breath

safe to say you had a long rant to roach about how now not only is he stealing your whole persona, he's taking your jokes now too

you think roach would be torn between choosing sides but no this man loves every second of it. its so petty- so stupid he just needs to see how long you two idiots will keep butting heads

you mention how you were planning on getting a red mask? he's going up to ghost being like "hey, ghost did i ever tell you red is totally your colour? you know what actually? you should get a red mask!"

you both walk into the next briefing with your new masks and you couldn't be more pissed

to make matters worse you both are teamed up for the next mission. something about stopping a major arms dealer but ghost is the one getting his hands dirty. all you need to do is get into security, guide him through the complex enough for him to grab intel and leave

its simple. you've done it a billion times before, same with ghost. the first half goes fine. you both get in, he grabs the intel and is ready to head out, both of you speaking only when necessary.

minor issue- actually major issue, getting out wasn't as smooth. somehow ghost ended up shot right as he's notifying you that he's almost out. you hear the gunshot ring out, a grunt and scuffling.

"phantom to ghost. how copy."

your voice rings out, an eerie silence following after

"ghost. how copy."

you repeat again, this time earning a response

"m' alive. shot in the leg. bullet went clean through, makin a torniquet as we speak" he grunts back. you have never been happier to hear his stupid manchester accent "keep it that way."

if past you knew those four words directed at ghost would come out of your mouth, you're pretty sure you would've stolen a tank and driven it off a cliff immediately with ghost in it too probably

but now is not the time hotwiring a tank and locating a cliff would take too long anyways, you guide him out, occasionally telling him some stupid fun fact to make sure he's still there or just to keep him alert

"did you know that jellyfish have one hole for their mouth and asshole?" "these get more concerning the more you tell me." "most koalas have chlamydia." "alrigh', 'nuff of that. fun facts are s'pposed to be fun, you know that right?" "learning is fun."

this earns a chuckle from him which he quickly covers up with a cough

he makes it out alive, busted up that's for sure but alive nonetheless

you hook his arm over your shoulder, talking about everything and anything to keep him conscious. he's going to listen anyways so might as well make the most of it

"you're not as bad as i thought you'd be, 'specially for a copy cat." he says after you tell him yet another bizarre animal fact "i got a red mask first by the way" "piss off. this is why i don't compliment you" he rolls his eyes, for once not out of annoyance "i wear it better anyways." "sure, sure. believe what you want, but just know that i'm the cooler one." "you also are shit at making tourniquets" "so you finally admit that i'm cooler." no amount of eyerolling or snappy comebacks can hide your grin at this point. you silently thank your past self for choosing to wear a mask all the time "you're quite bold for someone who got shot in the leg"

once you two get back, practically everyone is surprised how all the deadly glares and colorful insults muttered under heavy sighs between you two have now been replaced with playful banter and empty threats with no murderous intent behind them

price heard you laughing with ghost followed up with you telling ghost "they will never find your body" which did scare the shit out of him but it made ghost laugh so hard he nearly pissed himself

price made sure to check that ghost was in fact alive for the next few days, just to make sure you were joking

when asked about it both of you just shrug and reply "trauma bonding."

roach, although disappointed with the absence of drama is glad to see two of the most special people in his life getting along bros just sad he cant be an instigator anymore

and as soon as ghost comes back from leave, he's got double the scary dog privileges he originally had

[lostuntothisworld]

Yet another Spaghetti theory

Since people liked my last shitpost about masks and secret identities being an allegory for being queer, here's another one for you:

It's been a running theory in the fandom that the Sentikids are an allegory for abuse, and while I don't disagree, I think authorial intentions are being muddied by salters, sugars, and those in between. This isn't the run of the mill emotional, mental, and physical abuse.

It's an allegory for the abuse that intersex people go through on a daily basis. Let me explain:

For those of you who don't know, intersex rights and protections are few and far in between in France, and most places in the world. Babies are operated on often without knowledge of their parents, and of course, newborns can't consent to such operations that change their anatomy to fit society's standards. They have very little autonomy over their bodies, especially as minors, and are often put in metaphorical boxes by their parents and society as a whole, and forced to conform, frequently with nonconsensual medical intervention. That's not even touching how they are often perceived as monsters by society as a whole.

Let's take Adrien for example: His childhood dream was to be whatever his parents wanted him to be. And Gabriel seems to know this, and is quite literally pulling his puppet strings. Gabriel's love is conditional, manipulative, and controlling.

Gabriel: Adrien, I'm your father. I know what's best for you better than you do.

Kagami is no less imprisoned even though she has her amok. Her mother gives her only conditional love so long as she fits her traditions, and restrictive ideals. Kagami was shoved in a box from the moment of her very creation.

Tomoe: What do you see here, Kagami? It is our family crest, and that crest dictates your behavior – a duty. If you're not your own master, then you're already your own slave. How can you ever be a part of the masters if you're a slave to your own emotions? Do we understand each other, Kagami?

Then of course we have the most egregious example of abuse through Felix. It is up to debate whether or not he is free even though he has his amok, and the Peacock Miraculous. In my opinion he is doing his best to free the other sentikids, but is held back by his own baggage (see episodes Felix, Gabriel Agreste, Emotion, and Pretension).

Félix: [Colt] started to see his child as a monster. And soon, his fear tarried into hate. Kagami: (as Colt) Monster! Monster! Monster! Félix: The miraculous child did not understand. (takes off his mask for sincerity) Why didn't his father love him? ... Félix: And if he became fond of anyone who displeased his father... Kagami: (as Colt) No! (The bunny plushie's arm is seen ripped away from the plush itself.) Félix: ...an order from his father was enough to trouble his feelings.

In conclusion, the Sentikids are going to have to figure out a way to sever themselves from their Amoks (their parents' expectations that they were moulded to be), and also possibly also the Peacock Miraculous (How society deems them as less than human). Only then can they truly be free.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[kaledya]

Exactly ! This is why I use the three-boss phases fight metaphor and I think this is almost an obligation because both Constantine and Lolicia are a mess with emotions but not in the same way... ah ! I can't wait ! But its not for now !

_

Good to know! I'm happy you like the idea. It will help the character grow but it will come also later. I think it will be in the middle of the second boss phases slowburn of Constantine and Lolicia... I think end of season 2 or 3 ? Because Serenity come in season 2 ! Will see but its in the back of my head for sure 🌸

_

I like the idea of Constantine and Serenity bounding over something the others (the most important people for them) don't know about. Like a well cared secret.

And i know it can be tricky to do with only the point of vue I have right now BUT ! (Héhé) BUT between the episode 3 and 4 I will make a special editions of short stories that happened meanwhile episode 1 and 2 and some of the past of characters who are not main like (Azrael, Abaddon (my OC), the Vees, the pets, Constantine, Serenity and Eve/Roo)  it will help open new horizons ! Because its a collection of short stories it will help me to well prepared the episode 4  and dont rush things ! We love nice developped characters! And some songs some musical perhaps and inspiration from your animatics!

_

I'm not made for games but I saw a playthroughs with a bard its great. My favorite character are female Drow cause Drow lore is amazing ! Ah ! Love it.

Don't worry for what Gale said ! He said a lot of things anyways !

_

I'm so very excited to see all the drawings en scenes en everything you will draw about the fanfic!! But exams first. Me and my fanfic will go nowhere, I'm patient and I'm not expecting you to do anything at first, I'm just enjoying when you say you will.

But. Exams. First. Exams have a due date not me. Ahah.

And dont worry, writing is literally my air and passion. My rhythm is exactly as I like and I actually don't look at the numbers but I'm happy people read it. A bunch of faithful readers is always nice to have even if its not plenty. Don't worry for anything !

_

Also the meal I've been served !! I made it ! I made the Constantine/Serenity/Lolicia drawings ! 🌸 I was just like, "i need to do this". I really hope I didn't screw it because I always struggle with colors in general and I didn't want to destroy the faces of your OCs. I was looking at the references like crazy

"This is the shape of his horns ? Okay. Is it yellow, green, red ? So about the tail... OMG LONG HAIR" that was me. Ahah.

I hope the picture is nice quality enough, its not tell me and I will make another or larger or something. I didn't put my watermark cause its yours, you can do what you like with it!

_

Thank you ! Will write well !🌸🌸🌸 _

Ahah ! I'm happy you like Narrator ! I didn't expect you do ! He's just t so... so him ahah. But I love him too. But he is insane. I have a short story with him and Constantine and they talk about anatomy and names. It will be funny ! I'm just so excited to see the drawings you will have with him ! And yes the Kilij, ah ! Turks peoples have so many beautiful weapons with jewelry on it its just *kiss* perfect !  And Narrator loves jewellery so I was like "it's an opportunity !"

_

I'm glad you liked the songs !!! Ah your comments are always worth it.

The editing of the song with Charlie and Alastor made me want to die but I liked writing it ! I will enjoy seeing the scene you will draw of them! And the Precious was a must !

_

And yes Vittorio and Alastor's shadow are kind of the undertone of every conversation Lolicia and Alastor have with each others. If they fight its because the tone of the conversation is a bit sarcastic,if they're are calm, everything is more normal !

_

YES SERENITY CAMEO ! Oh I loved write when she took her coat and hat ! Hopefully I remember you draw her Misfortune/Overlord outfit! And the little vignette in your storyboard too. I saw it in my mind !

_

Lolicia isn't really an Overlord, I mean she is very strong but she doesn't want the title. But don't worry, I've already make up something for her to come at the meeting with Overlords !

Thank you very much ! And I think you are a talented artist (the new design of Eve/Roo is SLAY!) with nice eye for the lights effects and storytelling through characters and little scenes, that make my mind boiled so thank you, it doesn't arrive often 🌸

I can already see that it will definitely be worth the wait😌

--

I'm already so excited to see how you plan the themes for the seasons!

--

I'm so glad to hear this, I seriously can't wait to see the short stories! And I'm so excited to meet Abaddon.And certainly the more developed the characters are, the better.

I read Serenity's short story and they were beautiful.I think you handled their encounter with Alastor beautifully, I really liked it.And the detail that Alastor was more egoist and bloodthirsty during his prime time in hell was also very nice!

I seriously think the short stories are a great idea, can't wait to see more!

------

And yes, it was definitely great to play drow. And I seriously think the background of the drows is very interesting and beautiful.In terms of gameplay, you start with a lot of prejudice as every race hates them rather than other races, But on the other hand, there is no need to fight in some places because the enemy thinks you are one of them.

And yes, my dear nuclear bomb wizard who smells like an old library talks too much, it is impossible to memorizeal of his dialogues.

---

Thank you for your patience!

I have now passed the 1st exam, now I need to pass the real boss, the ART exam and I'm really bad at on paper /realistic drawing but with enough work everything can happen! But If I lose my entrance to the animation university,then I will have to restart my career as a villain. Lmao

Today is my day off, so I'll be making a lot of doodles, get ready for new fanart!

And if you ask me, you really deserve more, you are a very talented writer!

---

Destroy face my OC's what????

You drew him so beautifully that when I looked at Constantine I said, "damnnn, you drew him so handsomely!" Seriously, the drawings of all the characters were very nice and I think he used colors well.

And don't worry, I can't draw Constantine's horns properly either, so I made up an excuse ✨he's a shapeshifter✨In other words, the shape of his horns can change according to its whim.

Serenity and Lolicia were so cute

And Constantine and Lolicia looked so cool! I can't wait to see their interactions!

And I love how you draw Lolicia's clothes, they're true fashion icon.

Thank you so much for blessing my eyes with your drawings!

---

And of course, I will love him ! 1 he's character created by you 2 I always have a special corner in my heart for crazy showmens. And yes! When Charlie told the Narrator that they had known each other for almost 200 years, I realized that there was a long history between them.I can't wait to see his interactions with Constantine!

And yes, old Turk's weapons are perfect for him. I saw similar swords and guns when I visited a museum.They were full of jewels, inch by inch. I'm not exactly sure, but I think they were gifts for the sultan or things he had made for himself. Apart from them, I saw a really huge sword. I would like to see the soldier who could lift it. It looked like the sword that in Berserk that used by Guts.

--

And seriously that song was amazing, a complete masterpiece! If only I could make music, I would bring that song to life! And the descriptions, everything was great!

And the overall scene was so fun to read!

---

And I can't wait to see Lolicia's role already, it's so exciting!

-

And thank you so much for your kind words, and I'm so glad you love the Roo/eve design!❤️❤️❤️

----------

First of all, Charlie and Vaggie's part was very sweet and beautiful, and the song you wrote was also great. I really loved it!

----

Lolica's song was a masterpiece, I really think it was a very well written and detailed song. Lolicia's outfit and Vittori accompanying her was really perfect! And I think having Alastor help her disguise was a really nice touch! It was a great choice that the song was inspired by liquid gold.

(I Love lackdaisy so much)

In short, I think the song is perfect and it fits the character very well. 10/10 *chef Kiss*

--

The part where the team reacted when they won the semi-final was so beautiful! And finally an arc is over!

And Serenity's story was very nice and the encounter with Alastor at the end was interesting, but the most important thing is that Alastor is after Lolicia. I wonder how those events ended?

---

To make a long story short, every chapter you have made is really great and I enjoy reading it very much. I think you are a great writer. I am very excited to see your future works!❤️❤️❤️

[makoodles]

all of these asks have got me so confused with how i would like to see sex education continue if you made a part 2 so i can't imagine how YOU must be feeling girl LMAO

but i just loved the cultural misunderstandings in some of your other fics and it just made me think of them in the context of sex education especially with all these great asks

like jake hasn't been holding out on you for years, he's deeply committed to you and neytiri so what do you mean, you're interested in someone else, you're already spoken for

sure neytiri and him have been letting you take the reigns and keeping things slow but you're theirs come on

everyone in the village knows you're their mate, you smell like them, they just haven't had sex which is totally fine! maybe you don't see them that way, it's not like you've made any overtures about them sexually. but you still love them and they're you're partners

and they hear that you're interested in other na"vi men, like Ola’netu and they're just lost, because well if you were finally wanting to experiment with the na'vi you sure as hell aren't doing it with anyone other than you're mates

but oblivious reader just thinks they're being nice when jake let's her experience um na'vi anatomy so when Ola’netu keeps showing interest, well she's not gonna miss the chance at something real

but when she tells jake and neytiri that she wants something serious not just casual sex, they're just what do you mean, we've been dating you for like six years?

lolll so sorry brainrot i just love this trope where one side is so so so oblivious they don't think the other could ever like them like they just treat me great bc theyre nice, but the other side is madly in love with them and treats them like that bc they think they've been in a committed relationship LMAO

okay but literally ahahaha i'm honestly still a little confused but trying not to think about it too much! i think i'm gonna go with the way i was originally planning it!

but YESSSSS alien cultural misunderstandings are my lifeblood! i also LOVE the idea of jake and reader both being so fucking oblivious. himbo jake being so incredibly proud of his two beautiful mates that he never actually thinks too hard about the situation - it would never occur to him that this is something he needs to talk to you about. it's just normal for the two of you. it's obvious that you're together, right?

neytiri just assumes she's getting a two for one deal on mates too, so she's content to let jake take the reigns when it comes to approaching you. it seems, for years, that you're just not interested in sexual intimacy, and that's fine! there are other forms of intimacy; sitting in laps, grooming, cooking for each other, sleeping in shared spaces, spending quality time together.

but imagine their absolute bewilderment when they find out that you are craving sexual intimacy, and are especially fascinated in the na'vi body. obviously jake leaps at the chance to showcase the na'vi anatomy to you, he's certain that's going to solve all that pesky confusion. when it doesn't work, they're more confused than ever

however bewildered jake and neytiri are, imagine how you react to finding out that you've been married to them for years