#Do they help with bad air? Idk
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no!!!!!! my brain says: i just won’t actually.
bad air makes me so dizzy and i am inside with my air purifier on high. be safe if you are in an effected area.
#Weather warning#Dangerous air#I was attempting to prep veg to cook for dinner and i have now lost the understanding of my elbows#And also my brain feels sloshy inside#So#we are NOT cooking today#And ARE drinking electrolytes#Do they help with bad air? Idk#Maybe#I cannot handle this
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STATUS UPDATES:
➯ FICSFORGAZA [!]
I am currently dealing with a family emergency and my ma has been rushed into hospital so I’ll be offline until things calms down, and progress on wips will slow considerably. I’m really sorry guys
➯ GOING INTO 2024
2023 has been rough for me in all manner of ways but I will say it has been very fruitful with regards to my writing. I managed surpass my goal of 100k words, reaching an unfathomable 150k at present, and I’ve even managed to hit a big milestone when it comes to my following! I’m extremely grateful to all my readers, both those that have stuck with me and those who are new, and I wish I had adequate words to really express that. but going into 2024 I will likely be writing less frequently than I did this year. this is due to my own health, and a multitude of other problems that I can no longer keep on the back burner.
plenty of you have seen mentions of hospital visits and procedures on my blog, and while I’m not very comfortable oversharing about medical stuff I do want to be transparent about the fact that I will be posting fics less because of it. I’ve been in and out of semi hiatus for the better part of 4 months but I was always awful at sticking to it. next year I want to actually give myself grace, and take care of my body.
please do not fear!!! this resolution actually aligns perfectly with my writing goals for 2024. I want to focus on lengthening my word counts. I’d love to post fewer fics, but to have said fics be 25 to 50k respectively, rather than to post a lot of 1 to 15k fics. mostly I want to work on my own impatience when it comes to writing, and berate myself less for what I think I should be doing writing-wise. I will still be around on here, and I always want to talk with you guys (and read whenever the mood strikes!!), the biggest difference is I’ll have longer projects, and you’ll have to wait for them (though if I’m honest I will likely still post a shorter fic here and there lol).
I appreciate the patience a lot of you have already shown me this year, what with my random breaks and gaps between posting. you have all been so so kind and generous with your praise and I wouldn’t be here, writing and sharing, without that support. I love you all and wish you well going into the new year!!!!!
#prev tags from original post ->#if you’ve sent me an ask I’m sorry I haven’t answered yet#I am very bad at taking breaks like idk how to chill so here’s hoping this helps LMAO#how many reminders can I fit in my tags#remember to drink water and take your medication and eat when you’re hungry#remember to open your curtains and let air into your space and go outside sometimes if u can#remember to take breaks from ur screen and roll your wrists! especially if you work at a desk#stop sucking in your stomach it’s bad for you and your stomach is hot anyway why lie#remember your friends love you and keep you around bc they love you and not bc of what you do for them#nobody is mad at you and I’m happy you’re here#ok that’s all the ones off the top of my head#I’m the creature on ur shoulder whispering all this to you
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Puppy is not feeling well, I’m worried :(
#he’s not doing bad but not great :(#my mom said he chocked this morning and vomit#and now he chocked again and it took a while to calm down#it seems better now but I’m scared it happen again and I’m alone for another 2 hours :(#i would bring outside to breath some air it helps sometimes#but he start doing that after going outside so I Don’t want to accidently make it start again since he’s okay now#i feel like staying a lot a long time yesterday messed up is heart a little especially since he was so excited before we left#cause he though he was going too :(#we took good care of him yesterday and he was fine so idk if it’s really that#alex.txt#tw sick pet
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Went to a support group specifically for FTMs last night and had a good time. Surprised myself by tearing up. That's not a very cis sign, is it
#denial is an oppressive power#i know what i am lol. and still.#i've got a lot of internalized transphobia that i wasn't completely aware i had. not brave enough to air it out in the group#for fear of saying something 'bad'. everyone else seems to have it figured out already. most are on T.#i just don't want the group to sort of influence me in one direction.#< a ha. internalized transphobia. also i don't think i need their help in that department. i'm already mentally there. just blocking myself#a research project i'm doing atm is really bringing these feelings to the front.#how am i 26 and living far away from my parents and i'm STILL like 'i can't disappoint my mommy'#i know the answer. family baggage and high expectations etc. snore.#someone in the group kept telling me 'you don't have to go on T just because everyone else is doing it' and like...........................#idk if i found most of their thoughts to be very helpful. they just kind of liked to talk and were clearly struggling with insecurities.#but i had to fight that urge to be defensive. that is not how i feel and that is not what's even happening.#this person had a problem with putting words into people's mouths. don't do that in a support group lol#but other than that they were fine and everyone was super nice. it helped to talk to an older trans guy.#i'll say it again. if i wasn't fucking 5 foot 2 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!
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born to bundle up forced to be in a fucking heatwave
#rot.txt#GET ME OUT OF HERE#its so bad. so so bad#and some of the classrooms dont have air conditioning. i heard someone else say someone had a seizure on the football field#but that might just be rumor. its still genuinely horrible though idk how anyone manages to do anything outside right now#the fact that the majority of my wardrobe is black doesnt help
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crying in a coffee shop as i apply to a second shift quality assurance lab technician position at [redacted]. all this CDL nonsense was god testing me, it was always going to be [redacted] there was never any other option. i would be in the lab with my two bestest friends (A and M if any of you remember my [redacted] posting). i would work 10am to 7pm- at work while the neighbors are noisy and i would be off work in time for band/orchestra practice. i knew in 2020 this is how it would go and its all coming together now
#and idk why im nervous. im clearly qualified for this job. its just if my start date doesnt work for them#or they cant give me above 22 an hour#or im home for a few months and i cant take the noise anymore#i HATE living in a city i cant do it. but for low rent + no utilities + walking to work....#i could save up a ton of money and get out of there by 2028 or whatever#i could see my high school friends (hi remus hi audre) i could be with my parents#but bortle class 9? routine air quality alerts? the fucking NOISE and SMELLS???#idk man i am not meant to live in a city!!#but again. working with my best friends at a dairy plant 4 blocks from my house. going to the college basketball games again.#maybe it doesnt matter that they make you clock out for lunch and no names on the cartons anymore#maybe it doesnt matter than my boss got fired and theyve made a lot of bad changes#maybe it doesnt matter im going to be miserable for the next 4 to 5 years.#i HAVE to get 100k for my farm by 2030 i HAVE to#and [redacted] would probably help me get a CDL and they'll probably get me forklift certified#and worst case. i just apply for a different job somewhere else#its going to be fine. right?#hopes and dreams post#diary post
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Okay listen. If you have passionate niche knowledge about a topic and want to talk about it or reference it to a person who is neither passionate nor knowledgeable about that topic, please. Please. explain what you are talking about.
Do not simply drop terms and go aha my bad if the person indicates they aren't following. If they ask a question, it means they are interested and want to understand. Moving on instead of answering will leave the person frustrated and confused.
#this is a big pet peeve to me. dont assume i know!!!! i dont know!!!! but i want to!!!!!#so help me understand rather than leaving me in the dirt and making me feel bad about being unable to catch up!!!!!#if you reference something and who youre talking to is like Whatever you say bud :D youre fine#if theyre like 'what is that' and you refuse to elaborate with an air of Haha im so quirky and knowledgeable. im putting sawdust in your bed#ok. im done now. this is promted by my brothers being very good at not doing that. they will explain. they will explain everything. or else#AND YES THERES NUANCE! THERES ALWAYS NUANCE!#sometimes the audience doesnt mind not knowing. then youre fine.#sometimes its really hard to explain. then find an audience who had the basis of knowledge or doesnt mind not understanding.#or do your best! an attempt will be appreciated much more than brushing off their curiosity#or an earnest 'sorry idk how to explain this'. also appreciated#ok now I'm done
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...
#some reflections on 2022 as a year bc im bored and tired mostly prob bc my hormones r fucked up#ill b real. it was not a great one. not the worst i guess. that award goes to 2016 when i was a junior in undergrad and i was spiraling#and i did kno y it was happening so it was scary. now at least i kno why mostly but i think ive experienced the most soul rattling cosmic#despair in this year just bc i pushed and pushed to the point of destruction and i mean i have a history of doing that but i never wanted#to like quit before like as in fucking quit my job and just fucking break things. its weird. and ive got that panic feeling now#its the same one i get when ive been in therapy for a while and nothings helping. and i keep thinking: help me help me someone make this#stop bc i dont want to b like this anymore and i dont kno what to do. bc i was hoping a break would heal me and that would b enough but#the fears been creaping in the past few days bc deadlines and projects snd i havent done anything i need to and i still just want to give#up. ugh. im probably just feeling melodramatic bc i overextended socially yesterday. but idk what to do. hope for a better year i guess#at least i kno i wont b living where i am in 8 to 10 months. so change is coming but things r still up in the air#and i mean 2023 wont b off to a great start bc i have to go to lunch with my grandparents and i dont want to#why? bc i think theyre bad ppl. and itll just b me. and i dont kno for how long ill b there.#my last day home and i have to spend time with them. i shoulf b working on a manuscript. i should b doing that now#but instead im laying here trying not to cry. i just wanna go to sleep. less than 48hrs and ill b back to the desert#feeling a little better maybe but idk all is not well#so yea hopefully 2023 will b a bit better#unrelated
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🤧
#my throat is sore :((#and I have a cough :((#I reallyyyyy hope I’m not getting sick#tbh I think it was just from the air quality yesterday#cause where I live yesterday was really bad#but idk#my throat hurts so much :(#I request cuddles and snuggles and a bunch of praise pls#I’m also super bummed#I’m at Mayas for the next few days dogsitting#and she left a decent amount of cash#but then she also left a huge fucking list of things to do#and I’m like buddyyyyyy nooooooo#it’s my last time dogsitting overnight that I know of for the foreseeable future#and I wanted to enjoy it :(#now I gotta be outside with the shitty air#I should get some masks tbh hopefully that’ll help#ok I’m just being a baby and bitching#but my throat hurts so muchhhhhhhhhhh and I wanna cryyyyyy#of course this happens when I’m not home#cause I would make some tea or something#maybe sleep all day until I feel better#but I’m with the baby and want to enjoy the little time I have#bah humbug#send healing vibes pretty please#also if you’re able to tip me so I can buy some pain meds I would love you forever 👉👈#shut up rosie
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good lord. iris and cilan’s farewell episode was worse than i remember it being
how the hell do you have padding in the FAREWELL episode
#like. the first 5 minutes are literally a team rocket gag#the bulk of the episode is a generic tr plot that couldve gone to any episode in this season#and also when theyre showing up in the. next. goddamn. episode.#and iris and cilan literally get to kanto and decide to leave and do so in the last 5 minutes#like oh boy we really needed that. in a season that hated using tr for comedy.#like. i get it everyone hated bw when it aired and it was so bad that they had to make xy Like That in return#but they couldnt even give these characters we were following a decent ending?#just one more episode where they dont get any closer to their goals or make natural built up decisions for themselves?#they couldn’t even have the pokemon say goodbye? not even pansage? wasnt axew and scraggys relationship a big deal?#wow the iris and ash breakup episode showed more emotion than this and that was supposed to be petty melodrama#idk. the fact that im watching this immediately after jn’s ending doesnt help#it sucks knowing that bw went out w a whimper bc they were too scared to look like they were proud of it#im glad iris at least got a ton of justice in jn but cilan was left in the dust bad#echoed voice#pokeani lb#anyways. one more episode. im not watching the sub where they show the photo sadly. booooo
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Google search
how to talk to your dad without feeling like a failure
how to call your dad back after a missed call that you watched happen on the screen because it filled you with a pit of dread
how to stop feeling guilt over relationship with father
how to explain to your dad that pulling your fingernails out with pliers would be preferable to picking up a call from him when you know he's going to be disappointed in you
how to reconcile with the fact that your dad probably thinks you hate him because talking to him is so hard that you just don't do it
#um. im fine and good and not on the verge of a panic attack :)#hes calling bc i have no money and he wants to know how the job seach is doing & if i need money which is very nice of him. but .#the way he does it is so drawn out & filled with an air of disappointment and a deep misunderstanding of me as a person so . it ends up bad#& the good news is i do have a job now! & i start on monday! but its not going to pay me enough for my bills! so it doesnt help my case#i feel like i should tw tag that fingernails thing but idk what the tags are for that...#tw torture#?#oh ig#tw self harm#in a way#im fr fine now i had a little cry & im going to call him back in a minute its just. dads yknow
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fuck
#like idk i never realized just how bad she hurt me. i didnt even rly realize she hurt me at all#bc there are so so so many ways she sldve reacted so much worse. but like i never thought someone cld just straight up ignore it.#like i get the way i told her was dumb and confusing. ok. i can understand that. whatever#but idk. she said she wished my sister had told her years earlier so that she cldve helped her back then#but then suddenly it's different when it's me. suddenly it's 'but youve always been my little girl' and 'oh i dont know that sounds dangerou#s' and 'are you sure?' and 'how long have you felt like this'#well it's been almost 5 fucking years now and it hasnt changed. i havent changed. fuck#i trusted her. i trusted her to be there for me and to support me and to accept me and she threw it back in my face and never even blinked#i can never ever trust her again and she doesnt care. she doesnt even know bc shes so wrapped up in all the fucking lies she tells herself#fuck. she did everything wrong. fuck. i can never fully trust anyone with this part of me again bc of her#and it's awful bc it's such an important part of me. it brings me so much joy and i think on it often and i love myself for it#but it's just simmering in my chest and every time i think of letting it hit air again i freeze bc i thought it was safe once and it WASNT.#i wanted to get my name changed before high school. i wanted to start the medical process. i wanted all the thing i thought shed do for me.#my wants and my understanding of my identity has changed now but it still hurts.#it hurts so bad to see other ppl my age get all of that and to have the support of their family and to not be afraid to put a name to it all#im happy for them. but it's so awful hearing her point those ppl out w no self awareness like oh thats so good for them isnt that sweet#I AM RIGHT HERE! YOU COULD BE DOING ALL OF THAT! I NEEDED YOU TO BE THAT FOR ME!#and every time she does acknowledge it she gets it completely wrong or it's just to bemoan how little she understands#'oh everyones changing their name now its so confusing' 'im really trying i dont know what else you want from me' NO YOURE NOT! YOURE NOT!#YOUVE NEVER BEEN WILLING TO TRY. NOT FOR ME.#you never fucking loved me you loved the idea of what you thought i would be and you cant fucking let it go even when the truth is staring#you dead in the face. fuck. you complain about how i 'hate you' or 'think youre stupid' well maybw treat me with an ounce of respect and act#like you understand the things youve EXPLICITLY BEEN TOLD. even a little.#but honestly it's too late. if she were to suddenly have a change of heart now i wouldnt give a damn.#the damage is done you dont get to have this part of me and act like youre such a good and supportive mother.#i cant even say i hate her. i love her but shes hurt me more than anyone else ever has and i can never trust her to actually love me or even#fucking see me or support anything about me that actually matters to me#i dont know. i dont know. thinking about it again.#ive thought abt telling my dad. not bc it wld do any good but bc ik he values honesty and maybe hed throw me a 'damn that sucks'#my sister said this is something i have to fight on but she doesnt get it. i have no ground to stand on as far as shes concerned
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Cat hole
#so it's staying a consistent 90° now that summer has set in#and for some reason#my AC malfunctioned (it blew out air but it wasn't cold air?) and i didn't know it (it was hot but I just shrugged)#woke up to the thermostat reading 80°#cat is splooted (but not panting THANK GOD... She suffered enough on the ride back poor baby I feel awful)#I finally figured out what the issue is... The air is now icy#the cat has retreated to The Hole#real talk tho#so... My car is 13 years old and the AC freaks out when it gets over 80° so I have to ride with the windows down#the cat gets stressed in the carrier but I can't let her oit bc the windows were#down#so I had to keep the AC on while it was sorting it's shit and ONE HOUR INTO THE DRIVE IT FINALLY KICKS ON PROPERLY#i kept an eye on the cat and she was DISTRESSED (god I feel so bad) I HAD to get her out#i was FINALLY able to roll up the windows and release the kitty#and she was able to calm and cool down and stop panting after 10 minutes#she rides well so I had no worries about driving safely. stays out of my way and off of me... she just hangs out in the back#she is doing much better today#picture post#cat#cat pictures#i love my cat#i just need a better way to move her (i might have to let the car 'warm up' and see if that helps the AC sitch Idk)#i definitely need some way to get her water on the go#first thing I did when we arrived was get her the freshest water I could find (and feed her)
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something that strikes me about pw's 'gray' is just how. religious it is. it's very religious. religion plays such a subtle, omnipresent role in it. because of course it does.
#in a way it could be read as a story of finding contentment in religion/ascension to heaven from the ills of society.....#so you admit it? you think a perfect immaterial utopia land where no one has to work and everything is free would fix everything?#myevilposts#gray#like i don't really wanna call pete a socialist revolutionary however. comma. it's not because he's backwards in some#ways (famously many historical political thinkers of all stripes were very prejudiced! and oftentimes even hypocritical because of that!)#but because part of me believes that it simply just wasn't his intention to make it about heaven being a socialist paradise.#i feel like it's more likely he was taking a more middling stance of 'wouldn't that be great? too bad it's not possible irl!'#because it ends with the characters only being able to achieve utopia and contentment in death. via religion presumably.#like it could've been his intention!!! don't get me wrong; i do not want to discredit him.#however it just feels a bit radical compared to a lot of other stuff he's said.#then again i think ppl tend to kinda underplay just how political his hardcore bands AND fob are.#which is why i'd want to talk to him about this. that would help clear the air.#however. comma. idk if he'd want to 'confirm' anything about 'gray' bc so much of it is already up for interpretation.#besides the fact that he never talks about it and there is. uh. a very high probability that he wants to forget it exists.#despite it being awesome.#the beauty of 'gray' is that to me. it is secretly a beautiful religious socialist take down of capitalist society in the US...... that is#masquerading as a dumb book because the author knows what the narrator does not........ and beautifully balances this.#to you. it may be a pretentious vapid whine-fest. it has layers.#✌️😔
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On Day 4 of my No Napping streak 😊
#yall dont understand how bad my napping problem was#and im not even joking. for the last dour years i can count on two hands the amount of days i didnt nap#literally most of the last four years has been sleeping#but recently i got burnt out and slept for two days straight with like. two breaks to take care of my dog#(i have a sibling who also cares for the dog i havent been neglecting him)#and that whole mess reset my sleep schedule (i slipped into sleeping during the day and staying awake all night for a couple weeks)#and made it so i dont have to nap i guess because i haven't needed to#its been super weird. i have so much more time now and its hard to fill it#one day i went to the coffee shop and walgreens and the coinstar machine. and did laundry and other tidying#yesterday and today ive cooked whole meals. yesterday it was tortellini and broccoli and garlic bread#like idk how to explain it but thats so out of character for me#literally every day of my life for the last four years has been wake up. to go to work. stay up all night maybe. sleep until work#but now im... getting better i think? it seems better#i have an hour before i have to get ready for work (going in early because theres a bar crawl today and the other concierge wants help)#so im debating between playing on my phone in bed and enjoying the fresh air and sunlight coming from my window#or doing some cleaning and packing. i kind of want to do this because yesterday i had a nightmare that it was moving day and i wasnt ready#it was terrifying. so yeah ill probs get in some cleaning#wish me luck tonight! its saturday (busiest day of the week) and a bar crawl (the literal worst)
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જ⁀➴ ♡🍨 content warning: smut, innocence corruption, masturbation, use of toys, oral (f!receiving), fingering, loss of virginity, sneaking around, getting caught, forbidden, small age gap (both characters are adults), pervy!matt, brotherbsf!matt, innocent!reader
જ⁀➴ ♡🍨 summary: your older brother is back in town for summer vacation, and he brings home his childhood best friend, matt sturniolo, who can't seem to keep his eyes off how much your body has changed since he's last seen you.
જ⁀➴ ♡🍨 this fic was requested/inspired by this ask! enjoy. (p.s. sorry i made matt so pervy in this. honestly idk what got into me. 🙈)
young god
You were in your room, listening to music, headphones in and volume on full blast while you sat on the edge of your bed, flipping through your playlist when some movement out of the corner of your left eye broke you out of your focus. You glanced up at your partially open door to see your older brother peeking through and tapping on the barrier to try to get your attention.
He was finally home for summer vacation from his second year of college. "Hey!" You jumped up, taking out your earbuds and throwing your arms around him in a big hug. "Hey, little sis. It's been a while," He greeted you, not having seen you since winter vacation earlier that year. Behind him was Matt Sturniolo, his childhood best friend who you hadn't seen in even longer.
"Hey, Matt," you said, your gaze traveling over towards your brother's best friend, who looked as attractive as ever. You'd always had an insatiable crush on him, and it didn't help that he had more facial hair, more tattoos, and a more chiseled jawline since the last time you'd seen each other.
He always hit like a drug, like a habit you couldn't kick, like a long-term addiction you couldn't shake. He flooded your system with cascading waves of dopamine whenever you looked at him and interacted with him. You craved him. However, you knew you couldn't ever pursue him.
Your brother had always warned you about him. "I know as you get older and start developing feelings for boys, you're gonna wanna start dating. But whoever you date, please don't date my friends, especially not Matt Sturniolo. I know he's my best friend, but the kid's bad news. He's only after one thing when it comes to girls, and he's off-limits to you," you recalled your brother saying to you.
After you'd started going through puberty, your brother had been hyperaware of the way your behavior suddenly changed towards his best friend. He'd started picking up on the way you'd been interacting differently with Matt, trying to get his attention more often and trying to find excuses to be in the same room as him, which terrified him.
You didn't know what he meant by that, only after one thing? You didn't know what that one thing was, but you secretly found yourself curious about it, and you wondered if it was something you could give to Matt. But you nodded at your brother, promising to stay away from Matt despite the way your stomach dropped when you looked at his friend.
"Hey, you're all grown up," Matt replied, bringing you back to the present. He subtly checked you out before pulling you into a hug, leaning down, hooking his arms around your waist, and picking you up. He let out a soft grunt as he lifted you into the air. He loved the way your body felt writhing against him as you giggled. "Put me down," you half-heartedly said, secretly loving the you felt in his arms.
Your brother shot him a look as he placed your feet back down on the hardwood floor beneath you. "I'm going off to college after the summer ends. Can you believe it?" You asked, swaying back and forth. "No, I can't. The boys at school are going to adore you," Matt said, nibbling on his lip and doing nothing to conceal the hungry look in his eye.
You didn't notice, but your protective older brother did.
"Hey, Matt and I are gonna go grab some dessert. He's gonna stay the night here. We'll be back," your brother said, wrapping up the conversation so he could go scold Matt in the car and remind him of the rules about hitting on his little sister. "Can I come?" You wondered, your eyes lighting up at a chance to be in Matt's presence once again. "I don't think that's a good idea," your brother started to say.
"Come on. Let her tag along so we can all catch up. I'll buy," Matt offered, looking back over at you with a smug smile. "Fine," your brother hesitantly said, leading the three of you out to the garage. You sat in the backseat in the middle and clicked your seltbelt closed.
On the way to get a sweet treat, Matt sat in the passenger seat with his head craned all the way around, his eyes lingering on your sweet treat between your thighs. You'd forgotten you were in a skirt and were innocently sitting with your legs splayed out while your pink panties peeked out from underneath the short fabric.
Your brother, who was focused on the road, was completely unaware of the show you were unknowingly putting on for Matt.
"So, what have you been up to since the last time I saw you? You got a boyfriend now?" Matt lustfully cooed, not that he cared if you did, while studying the outline of your puffy lips through your underwear. He bit down on his lip while his cock jumped in his jeans at the sight.
Your brother glared over at him, recognizing the tone of voice he was using on you. The same he'd use when trying to take girls to bed. "No. All the boys my age are so immature. I don't want to be with any of them," you said, making a face. "Oh really?" Matt replied in a smug voice.
You guys had arrived at your destination, and after you guys had all ordered your desserts to go, Matt was handing his card over to the employee and giving you sly looks while he undressed you in his mind.
The three of you piled back into the car to head home. Matt watched intently as you swirled your tongue around on your strawberry ice cream, imagining you were lapping up something else. "Thank you for the dessert, Matt. It's so good," you said, letting out a soft moan while you savored the taste. You weren't trying to tease him, but you were driving him wild.
"Oh, a little is dripping onto the sides there," Matt pointed at the melted, pink liquid leaking down the waffle cone, and you licked a long stripe up the dessert, cleaning it off with your tongue. "Almost got it. Give it one more good lick," he urged you.
"That's it. Good girl. You got it," Matt purred, licking hot fudge off his spoon as you dragged your tongue up the length of your cone once more. His eyes flashed back to your panties, and he noted a small damp spot on the front of the pink cotton. Blood rushed to your cheeks as Matt watched you.
Your brother reached over and slugged Matt in the arm, almost making him drop his hot fudge sundae. "Hey!" Matt exclaimed. "Hey, why'd you do that?" You innocently asked, secretly enjoying the way Matt was watching you and talking to you. "Don't worry about it. Matt's just being a perv," your brother scoffed.
You realized where Matt's eyes kept traveling back to when he wasn't watching you clean off your cone. Suddenly, you became self-conscious, slamming your legs shut and going back to eating your ice cream in silence while you looked out the window.
It's not so much that you minded Matt viewing you that way. It's that your brother was picking up on it. You avoided eye contact with both of them, worried that they had noticed how much you liked when Matt had called you good girl.
No one said a word the rest of the awkward car ride home. Later that night, the boys went into your brother's room, which was only ever occupied when he was home from school, to play video games.
You desperately needed to take care of the aching feeling between your legs you'd been wrestling with since Matt had picked you up earlier when you'd hugged him. You reached into your pink panties and started slowly rubbing yourself while you pictured Matt.
On the other side of the wall, Matt and your brother were tapping away on their controllers in front of their game. Your brother was quietly berating Matt for the way he was looking at you and talking to you earlier while they waited for the next round to render.
"Dude, that's my sister. Please don't try anything."
"Relax. I'm just having a little fun making her blush. She's really cute when she gets all worked up," Matt smugly responded. "Gross. Don't talk about her like that. If you lay a finger on her, our friendship is over. I'm serious," your brother said in a somber tone. How about in her? Matt silently wondered, smirking to himself.
"Seriously, I'll kill you if she loses it to you," he told Matt sternly, insinuating you were a virgin. "She hasn't lost it yet?" Matt's gazed off into the distance as a perverted scene unfurled in his mind. "Gross. Forget I told you that. Just stay away from her," your brother said, eating his words after he remembered Matt had a thing for innocence corruption.
"Don't worry," he smirked, holding up both hands up in a defensive position, despite the thoughts going on behind his eyes about stuffing you for the first time. "I'm going to bed after this game. I feel sick after watching you with her today," he grumbled, rolling his eyes.
Matt brushed off his friend's comments. It's not that Matt didn't value his friendship with your brother and love him dearly. It's just that he was weak to his carnal desires, unable to say no to them and unable to turn down temptation when it was taunting him. Especially when it was forbidden fruit.
After they finished their final round, they shut off the light and Matt laid down on the floor next to your brother's bed with a blanket and a pillow. Your brother had fallen asleep and started softly snoring, and right as Matt began to drift off, a low hum woke him up.
At first he thought he was getting a call, but when he peered down at a black screen after picking up his phone, he realized the vibrating was coming from somewhere else entirely. It was low, unwavering, and seemed to be coming from the other side of the wall, in the direction of your bedroom.
Matt stealthily got up and slipped out the room. When he stepped into the hallway, he realized a dim light was pouring out of your room and into the hallway through a crack in your door you'd left open a bit on accident. Matt approached your room and peered in through the sliver of space between the door and the frame.
There you were, bathed in warm candlelight, laying on top of your blanket naked, legs spread, and steadying a vibrator on your clit. Matt smirked to himself as he studied the way your thighs quivered while you used your toy.
Your lips were fixed in an o shape, your cheeks were pink, and your brows were pinched together. You shut your eyes and threw your head back as Matt's name slipped through your slew of whimpers.
He poked his head into your room, pushing the door open, and he slowly invited himself inside, approaching you to get a better look at you. He loved the way your slick folds glistened in the soft lighting, and the way your breasts started to subtly bounce as you started to violently shake.
You were right on the verge of greatness, slowly nearing a climactic ending, when your eyes fluttered open, and you saw Matt standing at the foot of your bed, staring down hungrily at your pussy. Immediately, you grew insecure about being watched, chasing away your orgasm.
"Matt!?" You said his name again, but this time in an aggravated whisper. "Poor thing. All alone in here. Why play with those toys when you could have the real thing?" Matt cooed, reaching for your pink vibrator. You handed it to him while it was still buzzing, and when he rested it back onto your clit, you let out a relieved sigh in response.
"Good girl. Just lay back and relax. Just here to help," he softly directed you. "Oh, Matt," you breathed out softly, lifting your hips up and grinding up against the vibrator in his grip. You glanced down at his smirk and how his eyes were fixed on the way you were clenching around nothing.
With his free hand, he took his middle finger and started teasing your folds with it. Your eyes widened as he sunk his finger into your drooling cunt. For a moment, you thought you must be dreaming. You let out a loud, satisfied sigh as he pushed it all the way in.
"You gotta be quiet, sweet thing. If your brother had any idea what I'm doing to you right now, he'd kill me."
You nodded at him and placed your palm over your mouth to muffle all the noise you couldn't keep yourself from making. "It's gotta be our little secret," he grinned at you as he added another finger, and you could feel the cold metal of his rings on the warm flesh of your thighs as he pumped them back and forth into your heat.
"You're so tight," he whispered, relishing in the way you clenched around his digits while they started to stretch you out. He shut off your toy for a moment, setting it off to the side, and repositioning himself.
He lowered his head between your legs while he fingered you, and he started to work his mouth on your special place, rolling his soft tongue over your clit and manipulating your folds with it. He closed his lips down around your bundle of nerves and gently hummed against it, recreating the feeling of the vibrator, only much better.
You arched your back up off the bed and rolled your hips forward, chasing the sensation of his tongue exploring places no one ever had before. "Like that, princess?" He asked you in between licks. "I love it," you whispered back.
Your eyes rolled back into your head, and your legs started to tremble as he continued stimulating you with his mouth and his fingers. "Good girl. You got this," he cooed while you got close. His fingers curled so perfectly, hitting all the right spots while you kept your hand held tightly over your mouth, desperately trying to avoid waking anyone up.
"That's it, pretty thing. Cum all over my fingers," Matt purred sweet nothings from between your legs while he felt you starting to tighten around his fingers. "Relax. Let it happen. Give in to how good it feels," he talked you through it while you shook beneath him, experiencing your very first orgasm given to you by another person.
You let out a few soft whimpers that you couldn't keep to yourself while you steadily throbbed around Matt's fingers that had slowed to a stop once you'd finished. He licked them clean, and he complimented your flavor as he started pulling his cock out of his sweatpants.
You couldn't see much in the low candlelight, but it was intimidating-looking. You could see the veins that texturized his thick shaft, and you could make out how swollen the mushroom-shaped head was.
"You ever had one of these in here, sweetheart?" Matt cooed, giving you a devilish smile, and introducing his bulbous tip to your slick hole. You bit your lip and shook your head from side to side, confirming your innocence to him.
"Oh, poor thing. Let's fix that. You're way too cute to not be getting fucked," Matt groaned as he pushed it in. You squelched around his thick rod, and he shoved it all the way in until it filled you entirely, the base of his dick resting against your entrance.
You felt your pussy expanding around him as he started rocking his hips back and forth, hitting a pleasant spot deep inside of you. You held your breath for a moment, still adjusting to the size difference between his fingers and his cock, and when you exhaled, a few stifled sounds came through. It hurt so good.
"Good girl. You're taking me so well. Can't believe this is your first dick," he praised you softly while he delivered a few harder thrusts. Soon, there was no pain at all, only pleasure.
He grabbed you by your waist, steadying himself while he started to speed up, getting caught up in how good your virgin hole felt wrapped around him. He watched as he pumped back and forth, fixating on the way you coated his length in your arousal.
"That's it. Take it like the good girl you are. I know you've been dreaming about this for years," he smirked at you, and you eagerly nodded in response. It was like a fantasy come true, losing your virginity to a forbidden man, your brother's best friend, while your brother slept soundly one room over.
The bed started gently rocking and making a soft rhythmic thump thump thump as the headboard made contact with the wall. But each of you were too caught up in how incredible the other person's body parts felt to care about the noises you were making.
Matt picked up your toy again, and after propping your right leg up onto his shoulder to get a deeper stroke, he turned on your vibrator once more and held it on your clit again, sending your eyes rolling back in your head and causing your jaw to fall open in sheer desire. You'd never experienced stimulation quite like this, and you didn't know how badly you craved it until now.
When your gaze shifted back to Matt, he was peering down at you with glossed over eyes and a pleasure-filled expression. You were both at the gates of heaven, about to immerse yourselves into a shared orgasm that neither one of you could fend off any longer.
"That's it. Be a good girl. Finish all over my forbidden cock," Matt whispered, all too aware of the dynamic that existed between you, mocking your brother's attempt to keep you two apart, that instead drove the two of you into each other's arms in a twisted self-fulfilling prophecy.
You both tensed up, Matt injecting you with his seed and filling you to the brim while you throbbed around him, milking him dry. You guys softly moaned in harmony, your bodies moving in unison. The sound of the bed thudding against the wall came to a stop, and the buzzing of your toy dropped off when Matt killed the power on it.
"Wow. Your pussy is so pretty pumped full of my cum," Matt whispered with an edge of thrill in his voice as he pulled his meat out of you and watched the way it leaked out of you while you continued clenching around negative space, recovering from the orgasm Matt had just given you.
He was still admiring the mess he made inside you that started to leak onto your sheets when a stern and infuriated voice boomed from behind him, sending chills down his spine and sending a sobering wave of fear through his system when he realized the two of you had been caught. It was your brother, watching from the door way.
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"I thought I fucking told you to stay away from her, Sturniolo."
part two here 🍨
#sturniolo smut#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x you#matthew sturniolo#matthew sturniolo smut#matthew bernard sturniolo#Spotify
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