#DO YOU THINK THAT STORY. IS NOT ABOUT MEANING AND IDENTITY. THAT MAYBE. JUST MAYBE. IT HAS SOMETHING MORE TO SAY THAN
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vladdyissues · 3 days ago
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hey speaking of giving them good things out of pure seething spite
assorted badger cereal AND cheese melt fluff?
-reveal gone wrong. Fentons are supportive, but reveal happened in front of GiW, which means government agents now have his identity linked to a ghost caught on camera causing mayhem and destruction. don't matter how ultimately ineffectual OR competent you make them, Danny Fenton's in deep shit now.
-but hey, Vlad's got himself some connections! Danny Fenton disappears. Daniel Masters appears. Big bro to Danielle Masters, yes he's always existed, of course he's not Danny Fenton, Phantom is still appearing in Amity Park, there'd have to be a portal in Wisconsin to pull that off.
-Danny expects to feel isolated. Instead? Gets to have extended ghost family like his new gremlin little sister, gets to have a home schooling experience that means he isn't pressured to keep a schedule broken by ghost attacks, gets to visit through the FentonWorks lab regularly.
-And Vlad seems to have chilled the entire fuck out with two half-ghost kids to Obsess over parenting.
-although if he's going to live in this house Danny is damn well going to learn to make his own ghost-tech and learn the value of an honest day's mad science.
-(Vlad didn't bust his ass learning to solder at a professional level for a field of technology so experimental no one credible believes it exists just so Danny could get desparate and use tech as a projectile)
-and it's really nice having lab safety respected so the food doesn't reanimate.
-and he can just use his powers whenever, however.
-huh. with homeschooling getting easier all the time, maybe he could take up a sport? you don't need to attend a school full time to do that, right...?
-best revenge is living well. Or in this case, enabling such for a kid who just says the saddest things about his home life without realizing
-seriously it makes Vlad go "mine nao" on a deep, irrevocable scale.
-also fucking no one believes Daniel Masters is Danny Fenton because they've a: met his little sister, and b: seen them interact. you're saying these two didn't have the same parents and grow up around each other? (And the fun thing is: technically, Dani being a clone means BOTH of those are true!)
-something something "what do you mean I qualify for scholarships?!" + realization he's actually smart he was just being forced to triple shift his life and it was the worst thing he could have possibly done
I am the biggest sucker for Danny unexpectedly thriving under Vlad's care due to having all of the opportunities and special attention that come with being filthy stinking rich. (That's basically what I'm doing in Familiar.) But having a place where he finally feels comfortable being himself and having people he can relate to? Priceless.
his new gremlin little sister
Can you imagine how awesome Danny is going to feel when it finally clicks that he's not the youngest child anymore? That he's a "big brother"? I think he'd be over the moon. (Mostly. I've heard stories of little sisters.)
an honest day's mad science
ALSKDJHFLAKJSHDFLAKJSDHF Vlad inadvertently switching on Danny's dormant mad scientist gene by demonstrating how to Science Correctly while observing proper safety protocol and making it look really fun and cool—something his parents always wanted but never managed to do—is delicious. Two helpings, please. Heap it on 🍽
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gemsofgreece · 2 days ago
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speaking of greek films, do you have any recommendations? maybe even of the romcom variety? i've only seen zorba
And here's me whose ass still hasn't watched Zorba and even more embarrassingly I kinda thought it was a fully American movie adapting the Greek novel with some Greeks contributing, like actress Irene Papas and the music score by Mikis Theodorakis. It turns out you're right though, the film was directed, written and produced by the Greek filmmaker Michael Cacoyannis but then it was distributed by 20th Century Fox so it was a Greece - USA production.
I don't know if you can speak or are learning Greek though because Zorba was a co-production and it was mostly in English but a fully Greek production is in Greek and most don't get subtitled for international audiences. I will give you some personal recs but I can't guarantee you will find subtitles easily or you will have to do some severe digging. I have made the recs in an older answer so I am linking that post:
I will give a more updated rec list too:
Faves of mine:
From the link above the ones I would advice one to not miss are:
Η Κάλπικη Λίρα (The Counterfeit Coin, 1955). It's not only my favourite Greek movie but it's also in the All Time Top 100 Best Movies of International Cinema list of some very legit major institution that I am forgetting now XD It's a social dramedy with top tier comedians and drama actors co-starring and it's basically four different life stories connected through the same counterfeit coin.
Αχ, αυτή η γυναίκα μου! (Oh, that wife of mine!, 1967) It's a situational comedy. It's hilarious but if you don't know Greek, I don't know how well it translates to a different language. Man desperately wanting a promotion gets in a chaotic situation when his playboy boss first gets outraged and then obsessed with his wife, without knowing her true identity.
 5 λεπτά ακόμα (5 minutes more, 2006) I still think this movie is very underrated. It's a metaphysical philosophical dark dramedy with a great understated score. You can find it on youtube, obviously without English subtitles and with bad quality but hey at least it's on youtube! A morally neutral man with jealousy issues dies and is given five more minutes in the mortal world, which will determine his afterlife.
Το Τανγκό των Χριστουγέννων (Christmas Tango, 2011). Romantic drama. A soldier gets unintentionally entagled in the unrequited / forbidden romance of his mysterious aloof commander. Now this movie has a queer element. It does not have a queer happy end but it has both straight and queer themes and honestly it's a beautiful movie. You can find it on youtube.
Ρεμπέτικο (Rembetiko, 1983). Drama. The tragic life of a female singer of the then underground Rembetiko music scene, the music genre the Greeks of Asia Minor brought along after the Asia Minor Catastrophe and the population exchange between Turkey and Greece in the first half of the 20th century. Personally, I am not crazy about this movie but this doesn't mean necessarily anything because it gets good reviews in imdb even outside Greece. But I personally recommend it for its INSANE score and songs. These songs have become emblematic in the Greek music scene. The composer, Stavros Xarhakos, makes a cameo in the movie.
I still recommend the other recs in the old list too, especially the comedies. Also, like I have said, you can't go too wrong with Greek comedies of the 50s-60s in general. Since I said that, here's a list of faves and critics' choices of Greek movies from the 50s-70s.
Some other faves not in the old lists:
Το χώμα βάφτηκε κόκκινο (Blood on the Land, 1966). A Greek Western! Who would have thought but it is good! When I say western, I don't mean Cowboys vs Natives of course, but I mean land property disputes, rural, animosity gets out of hand, social class inequality etc etc and it is actually linked to Greek social history of the 20th century. And finally a Greek movie that takes good advantage of the Meteora. The movie was a nominee for best foreign film in the Oscars .
Strella, 2009. This is a strictly 18+ movie. It is a queer movie BUT it is also a very edgy movie, like, it can be perceived as extremely edgy no matter if you are a member of the LGBTQIA+ community or not. It's not the imagery that makes it edgy but the plot at some point takes a serious left turn. So, only watch if you're into weird cinema territory. I have warned you. Personally I am not into weird cinema but I liked this one. Man gets out of prison after years of incarceration for committing a murder. He befriends and soon gets into a relationship with a trans female sex worker. The protagonist, Mina Orfanou, is actually a trans woman and she was really praised for her performance in this.
Ιφιγένεια (Iphigenia, 1977). Directed by Michael Cacoyannis like Zorbas, this is a movie about the myth of the sacrifice of Iphigenia, Agamemnon's daugher, with an all-Greek cast. It is kind of those theater-to-movie films so don't expect Troy level of production. It has very minimal sets. Also, it's the 70s, the bible and sandal era, so the costumes are really anachronistic and inaccurate but other than that it is a good movie. It was nominated for the Oscar for foreign language film. And it's on youtube with English subtitles.
youtube
A few other recs:
Antigone (1961). Even more than Iphigenia, this is almost pure theatre filmed. The acting is theatrical, the staging is theatrical, it's all just theatre really. This is a very loyal adaptation of Euripides' Antigone. The acting is very good.
America America (1963). A movie by Greek American filmmaker Elia Kazan that I haven't watched yet but it is very famous. Biographical historical drama, inspired by Kazan's uncle. The struggles and feats of a Greek of Anatolia, Ottoman Empire (modern day Turkey) trying to secure a passage to America in the late 19th - early 20th century. It is an Academy Awards winner.
Πολίτικη Κουζίνα (A Touch of Spice, 2003). The life of a boy and his relationship to his beloved grandfather, who instilled in him the love for cooking and astronomy, as they part ways when the boy and his parents are deported from Turkey after the ongoing tensions started from the incidents of the Istanbul pogrom in 1955, while the grandfather is able to legally stay behind. I wouldn't put this movie in my faves but it is very aesthetically pleasing and has a wonderful score. It is also an introduction to the special historical bond Greeks have with Constantinople / Istanbul and the tragic story of it all.
Έτερος Εγώ (Heteros Ego / The Other Me, 2016). Crime Mystery. This movie is very popular. I think it's overrated but you can judge for yourself. It is on youtube. I personally liked more the TV series that was its continuation (the first two seasons only, because the third was horrible). It is suitable for 17+ audiences. An eccentric criminology professor is summoned to investigate murder cases where the murderer cites quotes by Pythagoras.
Man of God, 2021. If you are a Christian / religious, watch it. I would like this movie more if the director had not forced all the cast to perform in English in order to make an international screening. It takes away from their performance because it is so unnatural and illogical. But otherwise it is an interesting topic and the actors try their best despite that massive handicap. This is the true story of Saint Nektarios of Aegina island and his unfair defamation by the rest of the clergy.
Η Φόνισσα (The Murderess, 2023). Unfortunately this movie does not hold a candle to the original novel of Alexandros Papadiamantis written in 1903 - quite possibly the first feminist literary work written by a man - but it is your next best alternative unless you can read the book or a translation of it. In this case, totally skip the movie and read the book, which is excellent and my favourite Greek novel. But if you watch the movie, just know it took many liberties for the worse. It has good acting and cinematography though. The story explores the life and mind of Frankoyannou, a hardened peasant woman, as more and more female infants and young girls are found murdered in her village, including her own grand-daughter.
Miss Violence, 2013. This movie is incredibly disturbing and I wish I could forget what I saw. If you like disturbing cinema, obviously 18+, watch it. It sickens you to the core though. An ordinary 11 year old girl commits suicide the day her ordinary family celebrates her birthday. Minute by minute we learn more about the family though and minute by minute we realise this is not a regular family AT ALL.
More weirdness. If you actually do like weird cinema, then you can also explore Yorgos Lanthimos' old Greek movies. These are easier to find since Lanthimos is globally famous now. Dogtooth was his Greek movie that was a nominee in the Oscars. But he has a couple more. (By the way, Miss Violence makes Dogtooth seem like a My Little Pony episode.)
More length. Theo Angelopoulos was an acclaimed Greek director, famous for his slow lengthy movies that explore philosophical and other themes. Several movies of his are acclaimed internationally. His most awarded ones are Ο Θίασος (The Travelling Players, 1975), Ταξίδι στα Κύθηρα (Voyage to Cythera, 1984), Το βλέμμα του Οδυσσέα (Ulysses' Gaze, 1995), Μια Αιωνιότητα και μια Μέρα (Eternity and a Day, 1998), Τοπίο στην Ομίχλη (Landscape in the Mist, 1988).
More Kazantzakis. Since you have watched Zorba the Greek, a film based on the novel Life and Times of Alexis Zorbas by Nikos Kazantzakis, perhaps you will be interested in two more movies based on other novels of his, even if they are not purely Greek or Greek productions. The first one is the very famous The Last Temptation of Christ (1988) starring Willem Dafoe, directed by Martin Scorsese. The problem is that this movie is often very misunderstood as edgy / anti-Christian / atheist whereas Kazantzakis' intent with his book was kinda the exact opposite so he probably rolls nonstop in his grave with some readings I have seen being made of the movie, even here on tumblr. Scorcese obviously focused more on the edgy factor than Kazantzakis did, further encouraging such misinterpretations but you could still be able to understand the meaning of Kazantzakis' book through the movie, now that I told you that Kazantzakis was essentially a secular theological / Christian philosopher. The other one is Ο Χριστός Ξανασταυρώνεται (Christ Recrucified / He Who Must Die, 1957). A French / Italian production, also featuring the Greek actress Melina Mercuri. A Greek village in Anatolia in 1920 (Modern day Turkey) stages a Passion Play for Easter. Staging the play leads to them rebelling against their Turkish rulers in a way that mirrors Jesus's story. There is also a Greek TV series adapting the novel in 1975 - 1976, which is closer to the book and gets better reviews and you can watch it in the streaming platform I recommend below.
ERTFLIX. Ertflix is the state TV's OTT platform and it is entirely for free, while also available internationally. It has both desktop and app formats and you can also add it to several TV boxes, Chromecast, Roku etc For the free service that it is, it has an abundance of series, movies and documentaries so I can never stop praising it...! There you can find numerous Greek movies / series / documentaries to watch, plus even more foreign stuff with Greek subtitles if you're learning Greek and need to practice. Plus it has interviews, the invaulable archives of the state TV and so much more. In Greece it is not necessary but for using the platform abroad you will have to register as a user but it is entirely for free. Ertflix I love you. Below is a screenshot with some Greek movies available now:
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Scroll to the Greek cinema option (or to the Greek series). The site is built in both Greek and English.
Where you can find ERTFLIX:
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The aforementioned TV series based on Kazantzakis' novel.
Upcoming movies of Greek interest:
Maria. The biopic of Maria Callas, rather her last years, starring Angelina Jolie. Is Jolie a good casting choice for Callas? Well, no. People say she does a good job in it however. I don't know about that and I am going to be sceptical because I love Maria Callas and I don't think she can be easily (at all) imitated. I 'll watch it though. From the trailer I see Jolie did a very legit job with Callas' speaking manner and accent, this is hopeful. Part of the movie was filmed in Greece too.
The Return. Starring Ralph Fiennes and Juliette Binoche, this is a retelling of the last part of the Odyssey, once Odysseus has returned to Ithaca and has to reclaim his rule and home from Penelope's suitors. It is a realistic retelling, not featuring the gods, based on the trailer I saw. I had my reservations for this casting but Fiennes looks good as old Odysseus IMO and Binoche is a brunette French, of course she can pass easily as a Greek. They are also both good and serious actors and I am sure they give their best in the movie. The drawback is that it's like we return to the 70s with these poor and anachronistic costumes and sets. And also aside from the protagonists, who would have thought there was so much diversity in Ithaca / s, a REAL, TINY and REMOTE Greek island. Telemachus looks like the blondest of Swedes and then the Ithacians have apparently descent from Scandinavia to Southeast Asia to central Africa. Amazing. Ithaca, the New York of Bronze Age. At least Fiennes (in this) and Binoche do pass as Greeks... What makes the movie a little promising for me is the amazing physique Fiennes achieved for it: the parts half dead old beggar and parts godly warrior king. He nailed it. The scene with the bow, I know already I will get the chills.
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From this alone I know Fiennes is doing a terrific job in this. He is always invested very seriously in his movies.
Anyway, one third of the movie is shot in Greece and ERT (the Greek State TV) is actually a co-producer (a rarity with international movies of Greek mythological interest nowadays), so once it's done from movie theaters, it is going to be available for free on ERTFLIX... apparently globally. I so hope this movie does not disappoint me.
A lot of these can be found in links in greek-movies.com but you didn't hear it from me.
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que3rduckling · 20 hours ago
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My Pitch for Absolute Robin
For one, I think it is important for the Robin in this universe to be Dick Grayson. I have seen someone on TikTok saying it should be Stephanie Brown and while I do agree with many of the points they made and I do believe that that would make an interesting story, I believe that Dick being the first Robin and ergo Batman’s first sidekick is very important to his character. (As well as me being a huge Dick Grayson fan who would LOVE to see him in it)
I want the Absolute Robin to have the same approach to him as the other superhero’s so far, that being taking away some key aspect of the character. For Dick, I think the key aspect of his character that should be taken away is Haley’s Circus. I want this Dick to have never grown up in a Circus and never was an acrobat. Instead I want him to have been raised to something of the likes of an assassin. While I do not know if Snyder will or should introduce the Court of Owls into the current story he is telling with Absolute Batman, but I do believe that Dick should have been raised to some of the like of The Gray Son. Him being this prophesied greatest assassin, being raised so that he can full-fill this prophecy.
Dick doesn’t enjoy the life he is currently entrapped in, not wanting to hurt people but instead help them, and having a lot of built up anger due to this.
Dick should also be aged up a bit. Instead of being around 9 when he becomes Robin I want him to be around 15. Also Bruce should not be adopting Robin, more so mentoring him.
Alright let me set the scene:
Batman is messing up operations for everyone in Gotham with his arrvial so Dick, a trained and prophesied assassin, is sent out and tasked with killing him. Dick does not want to but does not have much of choice and goes out to do so. He hides in the darkness, face covered by a mask to shield his identity and age, watching Batman. He waits for the perfect moment to strike and does just so. Using his agility to his advantage and dancing around Batman, striking blows all around him. You could also say he looks like Circus performer putting on a show. At some point he slips up, misses a hit or something, and Batman gets the upper hand. He slams Dick into the ground. He’s about to hit Dick with a ruthless hit when he sees that the mask covering the boys face is cracked, and a young boys scared eyes stare at him through the crack. He stops. He stares at this kid who can be no older than 15. Dick uses this moment of pause to kick up and escape.
Later as Dick is being yelled at for not completing the mission he finally decides he’s has enough. I mean if there is a man dressed up as a bat, helping and saving people, why can’t he? If I man dressed up as a Bat is able to start taking down the organizations that have caused Dick so much pain, why can’t he?He has the skills to do it. He has the anger to do it. He has the fight in him to do it.
He escapes that night. Dick uses his pre-existing knowledge of The Bat and his detective skills to figure out where he is. He emerges from the shadows, presenting himself to Batman. No mask this time. Him and Bruce stare at each other for a moment before Dick breaks the silence. Dick says how he is fed up with the organizations that are ruining this city. He wants to take revenge against the place that took away his family, his childhood, his life. He tells The Bat that he has insider knowledge of the area, how they can help each other to take them down. Dick tells him how he will do this whether or not Batman agrees, so it would be more effective if he did. All Bruce sees is another hurt kid. A kid who lost his family to the corruptness of this city, just like he did.
This city spares no one, he knows that. But maybe he can help give this kid closure. Guidance. He’s going to help this kid. He accepts the kids offer. He set some ground rules though and Dick reluctantly agrees.
Dick knows he some sort of superhero identity. One separate from the one he has been forced to use all his life.
He decides he will be called Robin, his mother’s nickname for him and one of the last things he ever heard her say before the separated from each other by assassins. He does not know if she is alive or not but if she is he hopes she’ll hear the name and know that he is still out there. He chooses to have bright yellow, green and red on his costume because he is spent to much of his life in the shadows , hiding. He is going to be seen now. He is going to be a beacon of light in the darkness that is Gotham.
——-
That is my pitch for Absolute Robin! I left the organization that trained Dick purposely vague because I never quite decided if I would want it to be a new one or be the Court of Owls. So you guys can decided which one would be better!!
Also some ideas I have that I couldn’t quite fit into main story I was telling:
- Dick lives one of Bruce’s safe houses, but a separate one from where he lives in
- Dick is still quite acrobaty Just Never being properly trained to be a circus one
- Dick was originally from outside the states but the organization that trained him forcefully separated him from his family and brought him to the states
- He never saw his parents die and hopes they are still alive but knows deep down their not. (Bc their not)
- Mary and John used to be in Haley’s Circus but left when Mary became pregnant with Dick and decided to settle down
Hope y’all liked this!! (Sorry it was so long 😭😭)
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thedeadthree · 3 months ago
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🥀💌🕯️💀 <33
*old person yells at cloud* THEORY TIME <3 but i was thinking of the skill trees screens we’ve seen so far and i am like…… super certain that ingellvar is the mourners surname and soo that calls for an update to irulannes pin interest board <33
(ill cry change it if it isn’t though but hehe anyway im stoked to at last have a surname for when i save her edits bc rn her folder says i.datv xixjjxhx *WHEEZE* 💀)
#leg.txt#it fits so well it fits so welllll irulanne ingellvar you’ll always be loved by MEEE#the icon looks suuuper like some of the dead in the necropolis in one of the concept arts so i am thinking its them??#thinking about her story a lot lately I NEED TO WRITE IT DOWN SOO BAD 🥀🤧#im thinking she was found by the sisters raised up right adopted a surname (mayb from a mentor or ‘mother’ of sorts??)#raised up as she was to be arcane advisor/mistress mother to a mage heir bc they want a mage on a throne one way or another or both etc etc#like i mean that could make sense for her i think?? its not TECHNICALLY her name yk iru didn’t actually have a first name either#its what they gave her? AT LEAST THATS WHAT SHE WAS TOLD bc hehe the blood magic in the ritual#did a wee more than just what’s happening now from what happened in the trailer hehe#it also lifted a wee little spell they did on her that wiped all of her memories from before she met the sisters 🥀👁️#there may be some vengeance from robbing her of her life she may drag her lovie l*ucanis on who’s to say HEHE#something something she had her own kingdom already as she was a sort of spymaster w/ the dead using deceased birds to watch for hot gossip#a prodigy at a young age she was <3 she may have been an advisor anyway even without the sisters influence yk#ughh i want to develop the sisters and irulannes pre v*eilguard lore soooo bad now EEEK.#i am getting my wisdom teeth out next week so i think it’ll be the prime time to do that i think 🥀💌#anyway time to finish those asks ughh they’re the funnest as always if you read all of this moots i am baking you cookies <3#i think word is that thorne is the wardens and it does look like it i would say too?#i think for cassia she had to have got that from someone maybe to hide her identity or something#she’s either the result of a princess of the a*nderfels having a tryst with n*athaniel or l*oghain i haven’t decided 🥀👁️
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screechingsandwichhologram · 3 months ago
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my uninformed american opinion is that i will be calling it derry not londonderry because im american and therefore will always support ireland if its ireland vs the british.
(i wasn't even going to post this but i wrote a whole essay in the tags so i don't want to waste that)
#i feel like i'm getting into very controversial waters here idk if i should say any of this#also. what do the actual people that live there call it bc i think that should be the end of it.#i saw on tiktok that the only foreign alliance that could make america turn against the uk would be ireland and i fully agree#(i live in new england. uhm. almost everyone here is irish) (irish american i suppose.)#i could talk about ireland and american relations. maybe i will.#here's my understanding of irish-american relations as someone who has never studied the topic in particular#but does have an interest in american history#first off. yes america is very good allies with the uk but culturally it's like. a bullying sort of thing. leftover resentment from the rev#i'm sure it's somewhat similar to everyone's resentment of america. maybe idk im not european#anyway america is built on underdog stories. thats like the foundation of our national culture. the american dream#and these stories started showing up innnnn .... the mid to late 1800s!!#do you know what also happened in the 1800s?#yup! irish people started fleeing their homeland to a better life (cough cough the americas)#so! in the time when stories about immigrants coming to america (the american dream- the most important part of us culture)#a ton of immigrants were irish! wow. do you see where i'm going with this#anyway about 9.5% of america is irish. which is A Lot (3rd most prominent ancestry)#and here in america bc being an immigrant and coming from immigrants and etc is kinda A Thing here#people typically hang on to their non-american identity#i mean i do. you can catch me talking about being french canadian a lot on tumblr.#another thing! even if you aren't irish american sometimes places r so irish that it kinda. blends into ur identification with a city#cough cough boston. cough cough massachusetts.#anyway . so. to recap#ireland and america share a common sorta not really enemy : the british. also they r the underdog which makes us sympathetic#And a lot of america has irish heritage and bc it's the us there's heritage actually matters (sorta)#and therefore the usa will always like ireland A Lot. or at least the people will.#rereading that i hope it makes sense#once again i am not a scholar and have not studied this topic these are just my inferences and observations#rain feathers talks#i will not be tagging this
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detective-werewife · 2 years ago
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*grips the bathroom sink* im not gonna reply to a youtube comment for a passing inaccuracy, im better than that, its pointless to comment on the inaccuracy, im moving on with my life
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kavehater · 4 months ago
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I agree with absolutely everything she said his in game model is not as good as I envision him to be 😭 like fanart carries him FRRR but it’s honestly so sad ppl see the coolest ever character and be like yaoi 😋✌️how about NOOOO !!!! 😭😭😭 gosh this is so !!!! He has so many deep important aspects to himself, he’s so full of contradictions and despite it all he’s still one of the most kindest characters
#I’m rlly tired rn and I’m lowkey struggling to literally even breathe so if this doesn’t make sense that’s why#I could dissect his personality and his everything and explain sm of what I love about him but my brain is like rlly bleh rn so it’s just a#mind blank but I hate it so much that the only way he is acknowledged by most is his ties to alhaitham#they’re sepearate beings with their own struggles personalities and while yes they mirror each other they do so to showcase a moral and#story ; that story being the reality of true intelligence which is fitting seeing as to how they’re from sumeru - the city of wisdom.#their lore and identities are meshed together because stories use characters to depict meanings and truths#but to know the full story you need to look at each individually. character foils like kaveh and alhaitham are choices developers authors#writers and basically every creative use to highlight certain aspects maybe even make it a didactic moment too#character foils are to showcase a meaning. their purpose is not to enable a ship their purpose is to deliver a story to the audience#and if you wish to ship them by all means do so but let’s acknowledge what a character foil is first and foremost before being delusional#believe it or not some people don’t actually like them only as a pair and that’s how it ought to me#be* and because of people not liking them in the correct way and reducing them to a mere ship this is why we have ppl calling him a slur an#saying he has an std or whatever the fuck like man … I’m tired#whyre we even saying this about pixels at the end of the day like who in their right mind goes like oooh so and so has an std#ik I always be like idk what to say *then says a whole novel like pantalone lollll* but srsly I’m just so ???#can I just meet one sane kaveh liker honestly I think none of them exist#dora daily
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steveyockey · 6 months ago
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To be aware you might be trans but unwilling to do anything about it is to create endlessly bigger boxes within which to contain yourself. When you are a child, that box might encompass only yourself and your parents. By the time you are a gainfully employed adult, that box will contain multitudes, and the thought of disrupting it will grow ever more unthinkable. So you cease to think of yourself as a person on some level; you think not of what you want but what everybody expects from you. You do your best not to make waves, and you apologize, if only implicitly, for existing. You stop being real and start being a construct, and eventually, you decide the construct is just who you are, and you swaddle yourself up in it, and maybe you die there. There is still time until there isn’t.
This reading of TV Glow’s deliberately anticlimactic, noncathartic ending cuts against the transition narrative you typically see in movies and TV, in which a trans person self-accepts, transitions, and lives a happier life. Owen gets trapped in a space where he knows what he must do to live an authentic life but simply refuses to take those steps because, well, burying yourself alive is a terrifying thing to do. The transition narrative posits a trans existence as, effectively, a binary switch between “man” and “woman” that gets flipped one way or another, but to make our lives so binary is to miss how trans existences possess an inherent liminality.
Humans’ lives unfold in a constant state of becoming until death, but trans people are uniquely keyed in to what this means thanks to the simple fact of our identities. You can get lost in that liminality, too, forever trapped in a midnight realm of your own making, stuck between what you believe is true (I am a nice man with a good family and a good job, and I love my life) and what you know, deep in your most terrified heart of hearts, is real (I am a girl suffocating in a box).
And yet if you want to read the film as being about the dangerous allure of nostalgia, you’re not wrong. I Saw the TV Glow totally supports that interpretation, too! But in tempting you with that reading, the film creates a trap for cis viewers that will be all too familiar to trans viewers. Somewhere in the middle of Maddy’s story about The Pink Opaque being real, you will make a choice between “This kid has lost it!” and “No. Go with her, Owen,” and in asking you to make that choice, TV Glow is simulating the act of self-accepting a trans identity.
See, the grimmer read of the film’s ending truly is a nihilistic one. It leaves no hope, no potential for growth, no exit. Yet you must actively choose to read that ending as nihilistic. If you are cis and the end of I Saw the TV Glow left you with a gnawing sense of dissatisfaction, a weird but hard-to-pin-down feeling that something had broken, and a melancholy bordering on horror — congratulations, this movie gave you contact-high gender dysphoria.
In an infinite number of possible universes, there is at least one where I am still living “as a man,” embracing my fictionality, avoiding looking at how much more raw and real I feel when I “pretend” to be a woman. I think about that guy sometimes. I hope he’s okay.
Consider, then, my cis reader, that TV Glow is for both you and me, but it is maybe most of all for him. I hope he sees it. I hope he breaks down crying in the bathroom afterward. I hope he, after so many years locked inside himself, hears the promise of more life through the hiss of TV static.
Emily St. James, “I Saw the TV Glow’s Ending Is Full of Hope, If You Want It to Be,” Vulture. June 4, 2024.
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owlbelly · 3 months ago
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so. i understand where the sentiment "listening to an audiobook is the same thing as reading the book" is coming from - i mean, yes, the bottom line is you are taking in the same words in what is possibly a more accessible (or maybe just more enjoyable) format for you! and i'm 100% in agreement that "book snobs" who say "no you didn't really read it" if you listened to the audiobook are full of shit. ofc you should engage with stories in whatever way works for you, there is no moral or intellectual superiority to reading words off a page vs. listening to them
but it also is different? an audiobook is a performance. choices a narrator makes about line readings can drastically influence the meaning of the lines. even just different voices, accents, etc. - there are creative choices being made by the person delivering the words to you, and that affects your experience of the story in a different way than if you were making those choices in your own head. it might even change the way you visualize what's going on!
this isn't a bad thing it's just An Actual Thing & i think it's worth talking about. it rubs me the wrong way when people act like accommodations (and for many people audiobooks are an accommodation) always result in a completely identical experience, or even that they should, & if you suggest that people accessing media in different ways are having different experiences it's somehow ableist
anyway on rare occasions i really enjoy audiobooks but mostly they are much less accessible to me than words on a page (i need to be able to reread, flip back and forth, go at my own pace) & i also just really strongly prefer to encounter a text on my own before hearing someone else's performance of it, if possible! again i don't think it's "better" to read a physical book i just think it is a Distinct form of experiencing a story & acting like the two things are entirely the same is sort of doing a disservice to both
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The Meetup
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《Part 2 for Next Caller
《Pairings:College!Eddie Munson x shyfem!reader
《Summary: After your call with Eddie, you can't get him off your mind. You promised yourself to let your fears go and finally speak with him in person. Some things don't go as originally planned because Eddie just so happens to walk into your coffee shop.
《Warnings:fluff,smut. 90s!Eddie, a little tiny bit of dry humping, oral ( female & male receiving) dirty talk, pet names (good girl, sweetheart) phone sex, masturbation (male). Sex toys (fleshlight)
Word count: 7.7k
A/n: Please reblog like and leave a comment to show support. Not proofread ignore any mistakes you come across.
Disclaimer: Please read part one linked at the top to understand the rest of the story.
Mini series masterlist
18+ minors dni
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Almost a few days after the stunt, you pulled on the radio with Eddie it didn't take long before word got around on campus. It's all anyone could talk about they wanted to know who the mystery caller was, and Eddie seemed to be cornered more so than usual. As people surrounded him, he wished maybe one of them were you. Hiding amongst the crowd of people.
Anytime a woman called in, his assistant would jump out his skin. He knew he should have shut it down the moment it started, but he trusted Eddie. Now, anytime the phone rings, he instantly goes into a frenzied panic. Eddie just laughs at how over dramatic he was being. He knew if someone called in trying to pull the same stunt as you did, he'd turn them away. He's not gonna tell his assistant that, though. He likes how jumpy and absolutely horrified he gets when there is a female voice on the other end of the line.
You still listened in every show since that night. Almost every time someone called in, they would either want to do what you did or want to talk about you. One thing that pretty much kinda bothered you were some of the girls calling and pretending to be you. Sometimes, you felt like it was bait, and someone was just trying to get the real "Miss caller" to give away her true identity. Much like how tonight was going, if you were tired of it, you can only imagine how he must feel.
"Yeah hi its me calling you back." An unfamiliar female voice spoke.
"Nice try, you don't really sound anything like her, buh-bye." His voice etched with annoyance as he hung up on the fifth woman of the night.
"Anyone want to call in and talk about I' dunno sports?" He sounded absolutely over it.
"I'm fucking desperate over here."
He emitted a long sigh into the mic. "Can someone call in with an embarrassing or some shit?"
You begin to drown out the sound of him talking as he tries to move along the segment.
You felt bad you truly did for what was happening to him now. You don't regret choosing him to help you, but you wish the circumstances were a little different. You hope he didn't hate you for this. You don't think you could live with yourself if he did.
Eddie on the other hand couldn't get you off his mind. You infested it, and no matter how hard he tried to think of over things, you creeped your way back in. He dreamt of you, and every dream was the same. He could hear you speaking to him, but right when he got close enough to reveal who you were, he'd wake up.
He got absolutely chewed out by his boss that following day. His show was close to being taken off the air, but once they saw how much buzz it was getting, they decided against it. He was on thin ice, though, when it came to how raunchy his segment was allowed to get. The conversation made local news in your town, which created more concerns for you.
The thought of someone figuring out how to trace your call back to your home terrified you to no end. Could they even do something like that? You don't know and definitely don't want to find out. Eddie did make a promise to keep you anonymous, but that didn't mean everyone else who worked there did. You try to push the paranoia to the back of your mind and just put all of your focus on school and work. This whole situation should blow over shortly you hoped.
Even with all of the chaos at your campus right now, that still didn't persuade from wanting to go see him play Thursday. Which was perfect timing since your roommate was going out of town that same day. Leaving you to an empty home all to by yourself. Who knows, maybe you'd get lucky and take him home. It was wishful thinking on your part, but still, it could happen.
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Little did you know you didn't need to wait that long to see him after all. As you just rang up a customer's coffee order, he was next in line. He was too preoccupied looking at all the coffee options on the menu to see he's the next one to in line. You cleared your throat to get his attention and he looked right at you.
Your heart felt like it was in your throat when his eyes met yours. He looked very good today, making it much harder for you to focus. He had his hair pulled back and wore a oversized black corduroy button-up shirt with black ripped jeans. He gave an apologetic smile for holding you up.
"Uhhh, sorry, I really don't know what this shit means." He laughs, pointing back to the menu above.
Your mouth goes dry, and you try to play it cool.
"Well, what kind of coffee do you usually like?" You asked, trying to forget about who's standing before you. He's just some guy you kept reminding yourself.
He pressed his lips in a thin line, "Well, i usually don't drink coffee. if I did, I guess I wouldn't want it to taste like ass."
"So whatever you suggest."
You giggle and smile, turning to look at the menu as well. "I'd suggest maybe a vanilla latte. It's pretty basic."
"I'll take whatever you tell me to." He holds his hands up in surrender. "I'm putting all my faith in you."
"Wait a minute, are you implying im basic?" His mouth agape throwing a ringed hand over his heart pretending to be offended.
He was toying with you hoping to get you to laugh but instead you panicked.
Swallowing hard." N-no...its just a pretty standard drink to order."
"Hey, it's cool. I'm messing around." He reassured.
"Oh..um okay well then."
You try to regain your composure as your face begins to tingle.
"Okay, and what size? Small, medium, or large? " You asked him, trying to hide the fact that you're rapidly about to lose your mind.
"Oh, I need a large."
You nodded, putting in his order and ringing him up. He stands there a moment too long, and it's making you a little nervous. "Do I know you from somewhere?"
Your eyes grow wide, and you quickly turn to look away.
"Nope." You shook your head.
"You sure? You seem so familiar to me." He bends down on his elbows leaning on the counter. He's trying to examine your face to remember where he knows you from.
"We may have a had a class together at some point." You shrug.
"I mean yeah--but I don't know there is something else." He continued staring while you ran around behind the counter, putting away fresh croissant.
The longer it took for his latte to be finished, the more anxious you got. He wouldn't stop looking at you. You wanted to tell him it's rude to stare, but you don't. He kept trying to make small talk with you, which didn't help your nerves at all. You kept stumbling over your words or clearing your throat because it was getting dry.
You took a breath of fresh air when they finally called his order number. He took his coffee and waited around until you came back. "So, uhh, I don't know if this weird, but you wouldn't be apposed to going on a date with me?"
You blinked twice trying to figure out if you just heard him correctly.
"Come again?" You ask in disbelief.
"Oh, well, I was wondering if I could take you on a date?" He repeated as a small blush creeped along his cheeks.
"Yeah, sure. I mean, I'd love to." You tried to keep your cool, but on the inside, you were jumping for joy.
His smile grows ten times wider when he hears you accept his date. "Great, write down your address and phone number so we can keep in contact."
You nodded and ran to grab a pin and paper, giving him all of the information he needed. He also wrote down his number to give to you as well, just in case you needed to get in touch before your date.
"Cool, how's Friday sound?" He asks, taking the piece of paper you handed him. "Friday sounds great, actually."
"My names Eddie, by the way." He added motioning to himself.
He smiled again, taking a sip of coffee as he began heading for the door. He turns to look at you one last time before leaving. "I'll see you Friday, pretty girl."
"Thanks a latte." He joked, holding up his cup before finally exiting the coffee shop. His face scrunched up with embarrassment as he turned to leave. Why the fuck did I just say that? He thought to himself as he practically chugged down his drink, heading to his first lecture of the day.
You're standing still behind the counter, frozen in place. Did that really just happen? That fast? You started to think someone was pulling a prank on you. Maybe everyone did find out you were the caller and decided to mess with around. No, Eddie doesn't seem like the type of guy who would do something like that, you thought. You just couldn't get over how easy that was, a little too easy.
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The week went by way too fast for you, and the closer it got to your date, the more anxious you became. You wanted to tell him so badly it was you who called. Would he even still like you after that? He seemed just as eager to meet you as you wanted to meet him. Doesn't really matter now. You'd tell him eventually anyway. Especially if this date goes well.
You didn't see or hear from him too much during the days leading up to Friday. You figured he was very busy since he still was doing his show on the radio and playing with his band. On top of attending classes, he seemed like he didn't have much free time. Which is why you didn't cancel on him like you were probably going to. After you thought about it for a while, you realized he definitely was making the time to take you out.
Eddie called you a few times to check in and see if you were still willing to go out with him. He'd make small talk to ask how you were and if your classes were going well. He'd crack a joke or two, making you laugh easing your mind of any self doubt you had before.
Now that it was officially Friday evening, you quickly left work early to go home and get ready. He said he'd be come by eight o'clock to pick you up, giving you a few hours to decide what to wear. You searched through each article of clothing hating every single piece. You know deep down he doesn't care about what clothes you're wearing. He asked you out while you were in your work attire. With your coffee stained apron and dumb hat.
Still, you wanted to look nice for him, and you don't get out much as it is. So you opted for just a simple black dress. Dowsing yourself in a sweet perfume and putting on a pair of heels. You pray you don't end up falling and busting your ass in front of him tonight. You were shaved, plucked, and smelt of vanilla and spice.
You were just putting the last touches to your makeup on when you heard a knock at your front door. You did a last mirror check, making sure everything looked well put together. You take a long, deep breath and exhale before you go to open up for him.
When you opened the door to greet him, he was standing there with one hand in his pocket. While the other is holding a bouquet of flowers. He wore a black pullover sweater with the sleeves pulled up to his elbows, revealing his tattooed arms. His dark curly hair loose around his shoulders, and he smelled like mint and tobacco. His smile widened when he saw you for the first time since your last meeting. His dimples on full display, and you couldn't help but melt a little. "You look beautiful."
"Thanks. You don't look too bad, either." You smile, stepping out to stand closer to him. "Nah, I just wanted to impress you."
He blushes, and this is the second time you've seen him do that. He gave a boyish smile and handed you the bouquet of flowers he picked. "These are for you, sweetheart."
"Thank you." You reached out to accept the flowers. "They're beautiful."
There is a moment where you both don't say a word and just stand there gazing at one another.
Eddie cleared his throat. "Shall we?"
You nodded, closing the door behind you and making your way to his van. He walked next to you with a hand on the small of your back. He moved past you quickly to open the door and help you get into the passenger seat. Eddie made his way to the driver side and hopped in no longer after you.
The drive to the restaurant was fairly quiet except for the music playing on Eddie's radio. He humed along, tapping his thumbs on the steering wheel to the beat. You both steal glances here and there when the other isn't looking. Your heart beating a mile a minute.
Eddie seemed calm and collected, but on the inside, he felt just the same. Usually, he was pretty confident around women, but there was something about you that made his heart skip a beat. He doesn't know what it is that pulled him in so quickly. He's not complaining one bit either.
You finally see the restaurant up a head and sigh in relief. He pulled up and parked in the front. He made you wait there while he jumped out of the driver side to jog over to help open up your door. You took his hand and carefully got out while trying not to flash anyone in the process. You wish the dress you finally decided on wasn't so short.
You make your way inside where a hostess greets you both and guides you to a table in the far back. You sit across from one another while she handed you a menu to look over. A waitress soon comes by to ask what drinks you'd like, and you both settle on a Dr pepper.
She returned not too much longer to take your orders and set down your drinks. You and him seemed to be in sync tonight since the both of you ordered a burger with onion rings on the side. Once she took your order, she left, leaving you alone together again.
"So I'm gonna ask a boring question and say what do you enjoy doing for fun?" He playfully asked, taking a sip of his soda.
"Uh, well, I haven't been having much fun lately with work and school taking up my time." You confessed feeling a little embarrassed you don't live an exciting life you imagined he did.
"You don't hang out with friends or go out?" His brows furrowed.
You play around with a piece of paper on the table, avoiding his gaze. "Uh, well, I don't have that many friends here."
"I mostly just keep to myself and stay home a lot." You continued on.
He frowns. "Boyfriends?"
You shake your head, trying not to even think about any of your exes at a time like this.
"You know what? I'm sorry. I shouldn't ask about boyfriends while in the middle of a date." He gave an apologetic smile.
"Hope he doesn't mind sharing you for the night, though." He winked, making you laugh.
He seems to enjoy making you laugh when he notices you're uncomfortable or getting shy.
The waitress finally arrived back with your food, and you didn't hesitate to start eating immediately. He watched you with amusement and started eating right behind you. The longer you both talked, the more relaxed you became.
You were already familiar with him and found a form of comfort when listening to his show. But being alone with him felt different. You never thought this moment would come. You almost wanted to cry, thinking it was just some elaborate dream that you'd soon wake up from. The date was going amazing so far, and you never wanted it to end.
"So, um, how's your show going?" You ask him, not wanting to seem like he was the only one asking the questions.
"It's good..well actually I'm in some trouble, but they'll live. More people are listening in now, so I think the money will shut them up." He openly admited, shoving an onion ring in his mouth.
You raise an eyebrow "in trouble for what?"
You already knew but wanted to hear him say. You kept wondering what he thought about that phone call. Even if it might hurt your feelings, you were dying to know. Your curiosity always got the best of you.
He shakes his head. "Maybe I'll talk about it on our second date."
You giggle, finishing off the last bit of your dinner. "What do you like to do for fun?"
"Well, I play DnD when I have extra free time, I play with my band at the bar by campus." He frowned a little at the mention of his band.
"Sadly, we probably won't be playing much together here very soon." He adds.
Changing the subject quickly, not wanting to bring the mood down. "Girlfriends?"
"No girlfriends."
He eyed you up and down, grinning wide poking his tongue on the inside of his cheek. You swear you could see a little twinkle in his eye.
He leans forward, getting awfully close. " You almost ready to go?"
"Um sure, yeah." You respond a little sadly, not wanting the night to end so soon. He waves for the waitress to bring over the bill. Once he was done paying, you both got back in his vans.
The van ride back to your place wasn't as awkward as before, but there was something electric in the air. There is too much tension between the two of you. It felt like the silence was lingering until one of you decided to make the first move.
He pulls up in front of your home and helps you step out of the passenger side. Both of you walking up to your front door, not speaking. This was your chance to invite him in. You thought to yourself. "I had fun tonight."
"Yeah, me too." He smiled, putting his hands back in pockets.
You look up at him and whisper. " Do you want to come in?"
He paused for a moment, hoping he heard you correctly before answering. "Yeah, I'd love to come in."
You unlock the front door and take his hand, pulling him inside and guiding him to your bedroom.
The moment he was finally in his lips, crashed onto yours in a heated kiss. The kiss was sloppy and passionate as your tongues fought for dominance. Your lipstick smears on his mouth. He breaks away to move down your jaw and nip at your neck right under your ear. He nibbled and sucked at your tender skin, causing your knees to buckle. You grabbed onto his biceps, holding on tightly to keep your balance.
He stops to look at you in your eyes. "You wanna get undressed for me?"
You swallowed hard and nodded.
"Words, pretty girl." His voice is low and husky.
"Yes." You panted.
Eddie reaches around to unzip the back of your dress, letting it pool around your feet. He squates down his face mere inches from your heat. He looks up at you through his long lashes. He kisses your tummy right above the waistband of your panties before reaching to grab your ankle. He brought it forward to unclasp your heel. Your hands grip onto his shoulders, steadying yourself. He tosses the shoe to the side before moving to the next one and doing the same.
He stands up, reaching around your back again, unhooking your bra, and letting it fall to the floor, exposing your breasts. Your nipples harden in the cool air of your bedroom. You watch him as he takes his shirt off, exposing his bare chest to you. You notice tattoos you've never seen before. One of a faded demon on his peck and a black widow right under his clavicle. "Be a good girl and lay back on the bed."
You hesitate for a moment as your mind is already feeling hazy. You turned to slowly make your way up the bed, laying back against your pillows. You watch as he took his boots off and unbuckeld his jeans, letting them hang low on his hips. He seductively crawls his way up until he is hovering above you.
You push on his chest. "Umm....I don't think it's a good idea if we have sex."
He sit back on his knees. "Want me to leave?"
"No, we can do other stuff. I'm just not ready to do that." You confessed.
"Hey, we don't have to do anything you don't want to." He reassured you, bringing a hand to gently cup your cheek.
You let out a shakey breath, feeling a little more comfortable . You were worried he would be mad at you, but he wasn't.
"If you don't like anything I'm doing, don't be afraid to tell me,okay?" He's being sincere, you can tell. He wanted you to feel safe with him.
You nodded again. "Okay, i will."
"Good." He smiled and leaned down to give you another kiss to your lips.
He brought his hips against yours grinding his hard cock against your core. You moan in his mouth when his cock applies pressure to your clit over your panties. He pushes against you harder, causing him to grunt. He moved to lay by your side, pressing his front right up against you. His fingers dance and play with the waistband of your panties. You can feel his prominent buldge pressing against your outer thigh. His calloused fingers slowly slips past the delicate lace. You can feel him brushing past your clit. He carefully glides his middle finger in between your wet fold, collecting your slick on his finger. Ignoring your aching bud in the process.
"Fuck you're so wet." He murmured against your mouth.
He pushes one finger inside your entrance, pumping it agonizingly slow. Your head falls back, giving him the perfect opportunity to attack your neck. He nips and sucks on the skin by your ear. Biting, licking, and sucking while his finger is knuckle deep in your pussy. He adds another stretching you open around his thick fingers. His thumb pressing firmly on your clit. You squeezed your eyes shut and let out gasp.
"Think of my cock pretty girl." He whispered curving his fingers upward.
"Mmm!, s-so good." You whimper.
That's all you could respond with your mind completely gone. All you could do was focus on how he seemed determined to make you feel good. You feel him smile against your neck when where his lips were leaving feather like kisses all over. You clench around him as his fingers start working on that sweet spot on your walls.
"F-fuck." You let out a strangled moan bucking your hips.
He grinds his cock against your thigh. "Feel that?"
"Feel how hard I am for you?"
You look up at him with big doe eyes."y-yes I can feel you."
His picks up the pace, his fingers plunging in and out, making your head spin. Your pussy wet and loud taking his middle and ring finger. The tightness in your core building with each pump of fingers. Your moans getting more pornographic. His warm breath on your neck making you squirm.
"You're such a messy girl. My hand is getting soaked." He purrs in your ear.
He ruts harder against your thigh, violently rocking your bed.
"Can I taste you?" He rasped.
You let out groan. "Please"
You swallow hard as your heart feels like it's beating out of your chest. You're already breathless. A small frown forms on your face when you feel his thick fingers leaving from inside of you.
"Ah ah, no pouting." He wiggled his index finger at you playfully.
No one has ever done this to you before. None of your exes cared about your pleasure they only wanted to get themselves off and then leave you to handle the rest. Eddie was the first man to help you cum and now he's going to be the first man to taste you. All of your ex boyfriends were selfish lovers. Which brought on so many insecurities you've been working hard to overcome. There was a part of you that didn't want him to keep going, but there was another part that was telling you to let go and enjoy it.
He gave you one last deep kiss on your lips before moving and kissing his way down right above your sex. He looked up at you again, and his pupils were blown out with lust. He never breaks eye contact as he slowly drags your panties down your legs. He sits up higher for a moment, admiring your naked body spread out before him. You went to close your legs, but he stopped you. "Let me see you."
Thats all you needed to hear before spreading them wider for him.
He cursed under his breath, closing his eyes, trying not to attack the moment you show yourself to him. "I'm gonna make you feel so fucking good."
He dips down again, his face so close to your pussy now. He hums in approval when he sees how soaked you are for him. Your slick dripping down to the curve of your ass. He kisses the inside of your thighs, testing to see how much you can take before you're begging him for more. It doesn't take long before you're already impatient. He nips and sucks at the soft skin, making you buck up against his face. His nose nudging your throbbing clit.
"Patience, sweetheart." He laughed.
You buck up again, wanting desperately wanting his mouth.
Without warning, you feel his warm tongue licking a long strip between your wet folds. You sucked in a breath, never having felt something like this before. "OOh!,Eddie." You mewled
He pulls you down hard against his face, grunting against you. He sucks and laps at your folds, letting your slick cover his face. You grind against his mouth, throwing your head back against the pillows. Your legs go to squeeze around his head, but his strong hands hold them in place. He takes his tongue to flick across your clit making you wriggle. His mouth attaches to your sensitive bud, and he sucks on it softly. You went to push his head away as the sensation is too much. He removed his mouth, checking see to see if you're okay. "You okay?"
"Why'd you stop?" You whined.
He smiled before reattaching his plump lips to your clit slurping and flicking his tongue over it. He watches as you writhe above him. His eyes never left you as he almost seemed mesmerized by the sight before him. You've never felt this desired by anyone before. Your hips bucking as you grind on his face as he begins sucking harder on your aching clit.
You grip the blankets beneath you. "i-im getting close."
His removes a hand from one of your thighs and carefully pushes one finger inside your entrance. You grab and pull on his hair, making him grunt against you. He adds another finger, curving them upwards to stroke that sweet spot on your walls.
Removing his mouth for a moment "Yeah is my good girl gonna cum?" He asked quickly reattaching his lips to your sore clit. Your backing arching off the bed as you pull on his hair some more.
Your walls pulsating around him as his fingers pump in out of you fast. His mouth sucking on your clit harshly as his fingers plunge deep inside your pussy. The wet noises his mouth is making as his tastes you, mixed with the squelching of your pussy fill the room.
He's lapping away at you, getting lost in your taste, driving you absolutely wild.
"Mmphf! Don't stop." You begged him.
You feel that all too familiar tightness building again, and you clench around his fingers. Your legs are twitcing and trembling. You're breathing harder than before. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as your orgasm washes over you fast, leaving your body to shake. Eddies mouth never letting go of your clit. While his skilled fingers work on your pussy helping you ride out your orgasm.
He removes his mouth and fingers from you tenderly, not wanting to hurt you in any kind of way. His face glistening with your slick and his lips look swollen. He moves to lay next to you on your bed. You're slowly coming down from your high. Your breathing evening out as you come to. You both lay there in silence for a few minutes.
"Can I taste you now?" Your voice sounding small as you asked.
"Fuck." He murmured under his breath.
"Yeah, you can taste me." He whispers back.
Moving to sit back between his legs, you reached to take off his pants off. He helped you by wiggling them down his legs and discarding them to the floor. You notice how painfully hard he is in his boxers, and you lick your lips. Hooking your fingers in the waistband of his boxers and pulling them down. His his cock spring free hitting his belly button. The head an angry red leaking precum down his shaft. He hisses when the cool air hits sensitive his tip. Your eyes widened at the size of him. You now know he was telling the truth. He was big, and you don't know how you're gonna be able to fit all of him in your mouth.
He grabs it, giving it a few light strokes eagerly waiting for your mouth. Precum still dripping alongside it, getting on his hand.
"Don't be shy." His voice low and deep just like how he spoke to you that night on the radio. "I hope you'll let me be inside you one day."
"You'd like that, wouldn't you? He bites his lip, waiting for your response.
"Yes." Your voice barely above a whisper.
His eyebrows raise, and a cocky grin spreads across his face. "You felt so tight taking my fingers. I can only imagine how you must feel when I'm spreading you open."
"Just thinking about you taking my cock. The little noises you'd make as you're begging for more."
He presses his thumb on the leaking slit his mouth forming an O shape at the pressure. The veins along his shaft are prominent from the amount of blood rushing to his cock.
"Making you cry because it feels so good." He's breathing heavier while eyeing you in front of him. He wants to get you worked up until you can't take it anymore. Teasing was his favorite part before anything. He didnt even have to touch anyone before he had them begging to be fucked in some type of way.
He kept going on. The way he was speaking to you brought you right back to the night you called him. You squeeze your thighs tightly together, desperate for any small amount of friction.
"Gonna think about that tight pussy when I'm cuming down your throat." His voice deep and seductive. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"
Hes thinking about all the ways he'd fuck you. Imagining what your pretty tits would look like with his cum is dripping down them. Filling you up with his cum and watching it dripping out after removing his cock.
Watching him stroke his cock as he thinks about fucking you makes your pussy flutter. You wonder what he must feel like. The feeling of him stretching you open. You're getting tired of him taunting you. You needed to taste him now.
You smacked his hand away, replacing it with your own, giving it a few more light strokes. You move your thumb to press down on his tip. He grunts and bangs his head back against your headboard. You bend down to give the head of his cock a quick peck. You remove your hand and spit into it as you grasp his thick shaft, rubbing it up and down lazily. His mouth hangs open as relaxes and enjoys what you're doing.
Moving your mouth closer, you kitten licked at his tip, tasting his precum. His thrusts his hips as you continue teasing him like he did to you earlier. You take the opportunity to pull away and spit directly on his cock earning you low groan deep from his chest. You begin to suck on the head of cock. Using your spit mixed with his precum as a lubricant to continue stroking his hard length with your hand.
Gliding your mouth down his length until he's hitting the back of your throat, making you gag a little. You removed your hand, resting them on his thighs. You try relaxing your throat while taking as much of him in your mouth as you can. He wasn't even all the way in, and he's already has you gagging. Tears leaking from your eyes smudging your mascara.
"Oh! fuck!, c-careful, sweetheart." He coaxed you.
Drool spilling down your chin as you try to take more of him in your throat. You attempt to keep him back there and focus on breathing from your nose. Sucking lightly on him, you pull him all the way out and swirl your tongue around his tip. "Hmm! your mouth feels so fucking good."
Your tongue wet and warm teasing the head of his cock. Eddie does everything in his power to not push you back down on his length.
He breathed heavily. "Shit! I-I not gonna last if you keep doing that."
Removing his cock from your mouth, creating a loud pop in his absence.
"you like it when I tease your cock eddie?"You asked in a sultry voice.
You wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine.
"Look who's not so shy afterall." He taunted you
You don't know what has come over you suddenly, but having him here in your bed tonight gave you a boost of confidence you never knew you had.
Putting the head of his cock to your mouth sucking it firmly almost forcing him to answer. "Y-yeah I like...I like the way you're teasing me."
You slip his length back down as far he could go in your throat, swallowing around him.
Hearing him like that only spurred you on more. Sucking his cock a little harder than before. Your head bobbing up and down faster. Your other hand moves to cup his balls, and he jerks at the feeling. The sensation of you massaging his balls and your mouth working on his cock practically sends him into a coma of bliss. His abs flexing and his toes curl. His entire body glistened with sweat. "Shit i-im gonna fuck... I'm gonna cum."
"You're gonna make me cum." He panted above you.
With a few more pumps of your hand and mouth sucking harder on his length. You feel his cock twitch and he's shooting his cum deep down your throat. Some spilling out and leaked from the corners of your mouth. He moans out loud and holds your head down until he's finished. You tried to swallow as much of him as you could take. Your mouth not leaving until you're collecting every bit. " S-sweetheart, please."
You let him go with a long string of saliva connecting you to his cock, his cum dripping down your chin. You collect it on your fingertips, bringing it to your mouth, not wanting to waste a drop. Sucking your fingers clean enjoying the salty taste of his cum.
He goes limp as he comes down from his high. His eyes glossed over watching your every move as you lick his cum from your fingers.
You moved to lay back next to him as you wait to see if he will soon leave. His chest rose and fell calmly now, but his head was still foggy. You don't want him to go, but you understand if he does.
"Thank you for tonight" you turn to smile weakly at him.
"No problem." He snorted.
There is a long, drawn-out pause, and you decided it time to tell him your secret.
"Um, I have something to confess to you." You're nervous, and he can tell.
He sit up straight and looks over at you, concern etched on his face. "Yeah? "
"Well, umm, I was the one who called you that night.....on your show." You confessed, looking down, playing with your thumbs.
He blinked, taking in what you just said. Not really sure if he heard you right or if he's still a little dazed.
"Are-- are you serious? " He sounded a little harsh, but he didn't intend to. That night was all he could think about since it happened. You were all he could think about. He lost hours and hours of sleep coming up with different possible scenarios on how he would find you. Who you could possibly be.
"Yeah. Are you mad?" You look over at him, tears threatening to spill from your eyes.
His face softens immediately when he notices. "Are you kidding?"
"I've been thinking about you ever since." He sprang up on his knees with excitement scooting closer to you.
You wipe at your eyes and laugh when he takes your hands into his. The fear that was building up moments ago slowly fading away."Really?"
"Oh, you're definitely not getting rid of me now." He exclaimed.
"So, do you maybe want to go out again?" You shyly asked.
"Fuck yeah I do!" He celebrated clapping his his hands together.
You laughed at his excitement. Making you feel so much better now that you got that off your chest. No one has ever made you feel like this before. You felt like you've known him forever even though you just met in person. "Can I call you... like all the time?"
"Yes, absolutely you can." You giggle.
"Hope you don't mind late night ramblings and bad puns," He advised.
"I love bad puns."
He laid back down next, throwing an arm around you. The both of you stayed like that for the rest of the night. Staying up for hours laughing and telling each other stories about your life. You wish you and him didn't have to ever leave this bed.
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Another couple of days have passed, and you really haven't heard much again from him since your date. You were starting to think he was just saying all of that stuff because he thought it was something you wanted to hear. You tried not to think like that and just chalked it up to him being extremely busy because he was.
He did talk about you a little bit on his show but never mentioned you were also the mystery caller everyone has been gossiping about. You listened in biting at your nails when he talked about going on a date with a cutie from the coffee shop across from campus.
Eddie never once talked about hooking up with you, and you're grateful for that. He didn't use your date as a way to have another story for his show. He genuinely wanted to take you out and have a nice time. He didn't hook up for a new story to keep his segment interesting. Most of the girls he was with actually asked him to talk about it. Otherwise, he never would have done it to begin with.
You sat on your bed feet dangling over the side, contemplating if you should just bite the bullet and call first. You don't wanna seem desperate, but you also really want to see him again. He agreed to go on another date with you. Since you haven't heard much else from him, you don't want to come off pushy.
Maybe you should call first? Let him know you're equally as interested in him.
You snatch up the phone and the little piece of paper he gave with his number on it. Putting in the digits and waiting for the dial tone to start ringing. You felt like you were waiting forever, but it's only been a few seconds. You were almost ready to hang up and pretend this never happened until you heard him answer.
"H-hello?" He panted into the phone.
He sounded like he was currently in the middle of something. What that something is you don't know yet.
"Hi, it's me....just wanted to call and check in with you." You spoke softly in the other end.
"Y-yeah, uhh, I'm doing good." He stumbled over his words.
He sounded out of breath, and now you're really hoping you didn't interrupt him. Especially if he has company at his place. The thought of that makes you feel a little sick. You're not dating him and barely even know him. You shouldn't feel this way even if he did have someone over. "I can let you go. You seem a little busy."
"Wait, don't hang up!" He exclaimed.
He ponders for a moment on how he can keep you on the other line.
"Wanna help me...with... something? " he asked with a nervous laugh.
You swallow hard before answering. "What do you need?"
You hear him curse under his breath in your ear. Low grunts can be heard, and it doesn't take long before you can figure out what's going on.
"W--wanna talk to you while I fuck this toy." He breathed heavy.
You go to lay back on your bed playing with the hem of your pajama shorts. You know what he wants you to do. Since he helped you out, you might as well do the same for him. It's only fair, right? The last time you did this, hundreds of people were listening. This time, it's just the two of you. Making the situation more intimate, but it also helps take the edge off.
Eddie was currently balls deep in his fleshlight when you called. He just got out of the shower hair still wet and sticking to his body. All day long, he kept thinking about you. He's been painfully hard and wanted to see if he could come over to your place again but didn't want to be so forward. He didn't want you to think he was using you to get off. He really really liked you and hoped there could be something more between the two of you. So he was going to do what he normally would and take of it himself. That was until you called him, and it sparked a little idea in his brain.
He was leaning back against a wall with one hand on a chair next to him, trying to keep his balance upright. Lube was all over his toy, leaking out onto the soft curls between his legs and balls. He glided the toy up and down his length at a steady pace trying not to cum so soon already. His mind races with vivid thoughts of you.
"What do you think about when you do that?" Your voice coming out so small in his ear.
He smiles to himself. "Well I--was thinking about you."
"Like, what exactly?" You played innocent.
Eddie knows what game you're playing, and he has no problem going along with it. He pulls his cock almost all the way out of the toy only to slam it back down hard causing him to groan loud. His legs almost giving out from under him. He pulled out the chair next to him and plopped down.
Biting his lip to stifle another moan.
"Thinkin' about you squeezing around me." He breathed heavily in your ear. "Wishing this was your pussy instead of some..F-fucking toy."
Sinking his cock back inside making a loud schlick noise you can faintly hear in the phone. Pumping his cock while his other hand runs along his abdomen. He's trying to balance the phone between his shoulder and cheek praying he doesnt drop it. His face and chest flushed a crimson red. He lets out a loud moan when he thrusts upward. "Ooh! Shit!"
"Did I feel good?" You purred into the phone.
"God yes--- so fucking tight. the way you hugged my fingers when i was knuckle deep inside you."
You squeeze your thighs together involuntarily, and you can feel a wetness pool in between your legs. You bite down on your lip hard listening as he fucks himself while talking about you. You want to touch yourself so badly. Your nipples hardening under the sheer thin material of your tank top.
Pumping his cock faster in the toy, lube splashing all over his pelvis and wrist dripping down onto the of floor. He's making a total mess and he doesn't care. He thinks about how messy he could make you.
You interrupt him from his thoughts
"What do you wanna do to me?" You whisper.
"Fuuuck, I wanna do the nastiest things to you." His voice ragged.
Moving the toy up and down his cock as he spoke in the phone, trying to keep It balanced as best he could.
He lets out whimper, "Wanna fill you up with my cum and clean it out of you with my tongue."
"W-wanna..fuuuck...wanna cum all over those pretty tits." He's panting and grunting louder in your ear.
....."Yeah?" You cooed.
"Make you cum in all sorts of ways you never even imagined you could."
He legs kick up, and his stomach tightens. He was getting close but didn't want this to end, not yet.
You're still lying in bed, looking up at your ceiling. You never thought you'd have this burst of confidence yet again, but it's different with him. You don't feel ashamed of anything. The way he's coming undone just by talking to you only made you never want to stop. You felt empowered.
There is a throbbing ache between your legs that you desperately want to take care of. You try to ignore it and put all of your focus on him. You wiggle around clenching up. Doing anything to ease that ache.
"Tell me what you think about you when you touch yourself." He breathed.
"You think of me?"
"Yeah," you muttered quietly.
"So tell me." He commanded gently.
You stammered. "I um, I think about what you would feel like inside me."
"Oh yeah?" His voice getting low.
Goosebumps prickle all over your skin when he does that voice. You squirm in your bed just thinking about that night he used it when he helped you cum over the phone. It was domineering and seductive.
"Mmhm, you're so big." You whimper.
"I don't think I could fit all of you."
"Fuuuck." He groans
"You wanna feel my cock struggling to stretch you open? Is that it?"
You whined into the phone. "Yes, I need it so bad Eddie."
His cock steadily plunging in out of his toy in a brutal pace. He's getting closer to his release, and the phone drops with a loud thud in your ear. His other hand moving to cup his balls mimicking how you massaged them. His hips thrusting up and all you can hear is the squelching sound his cock is making in the toy.
"Oooh shit!" He groaned louder. With a few more strokes and he's spilling his cum inside the toy. Still pumping his length, milking himself of every drop. His cum spilling out and coating his balls. He lays there in the chair, head falling back before realizing he dropped the phone. His head all foggy, and his vision is blury.
He went to get up, but his legs gave out, and he fell back down.
"Shit"
"Fuck"
You heard him cursing from afar. You laughed to yourself, knowing he probably had fallen down.
"Hang on!" He called out
He leans over and reaches out far to snatch up the phone off the floor. His breathing is ragged when he goes to talk. "I've never came that hard in my life."
Smacking a hand on his belly he changes the subject.
"Okay, so what were you originally calling me about? " He asked still panting in the phone.
"Umm, well, I wanted to see if you were still up for going out again....Maybe?" You closed your eyes, waiting for his response.
"Yeah, actually, you know my band is playing Wednesday. Why don't you come see us." He said matter of factly. Like you didn't just help him jerk off on the other line.
You don't understand how one minute he can say some of the most dirtiest things to you and the next be totally nonchalant. All you want to do now is hang up and take care of the ache between your legs.
"I'd love to!" You accept his offer excitement etched in your tone.
He lets out a laugh. "Great, it's a date."
Before you both go to hang up, he stops you.
..."Oh, and thank you for helping me this time." His tone sultry.
Your eyebrows shot up, and you gulp. "No problem--it was fun."
"Goodnight, Eddie." You said sweetly.
"Goodnight, sweetheart."
You both stay on the line, neither one wanting to be the first to hang up. Eventually, you had to hang up first since it seemed like he wasn't going to be the one to do it. You roll over on your side, trying to relax and ready yourself for sleep. Your mind racing with excitement that you're finally going to see him play.
Maybe after your date, Eddie can take you back to his place this time. The ache between your legs was not subsiding. You needed him, and after your date, you decided it was time to have him.
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cressidagrey · 13 days ago
Text
It's a Love Story - Chapter 9
Summary:
Azriel's shadows find their master a wife.
Azriel would just really like his heart not to get broken again.
And Sky...well, she's just really surprised that that far too handsome male is interested in her at all.
Warning:
Rhys Bashing (as usual), I classified this as Azriel x OC, even when it't technically Azriel x Sellyn Drake (but we kinda know nothing about Sellyn Drake other than that she writes books so Sky is kinda an OC), Cassian is kinda a good guy for once, Azriel has a horrible time, as usual... Stuttering, toxic families (For once I do not mean the IC), Self-Esteem Issues, Secret Identity, Body Image Issues, Fat Shaming, People being utterly horrible. Racism against Illyrians/Lesser Faes?
If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable, please take care of your own mental health and don't read it.
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Rhys had the seething hot realisation that he had really fucked up on Winter Solstice.
Before that…well. He could still pretend.
Pretend that maybe Azriel just needed time. That he just needed…time to adjust and would get over himself eventually.
Would get over Solstice two years ago. Would get over Mor finding her mate in Emerie… Would get over it all.
That it was just him moping and licking his wounds and he would be back to normal. That maybe he just needed to punch Rhys, get it out of his system and it would be done.
So Rhys had baited him.
Repeatedly.
Azriel didn’t fight. Didn’t protest.
As a boy…Az had attacked snarling and growling, furious and vicious.
Rhys had waited for that same exact result.
Nothing of that sort had happened.
Now…Now Azriel just looked at him, eyes dark and cold…
“Why should I tell you? I may trust you with this court, Rhysand, but I do not trust you with anything I love. Not anymore.”
And then he turned and left. Not giving them a second look. 
Rhys could just stare at him. 
He had expected anger, protests, anything. But this...this was worse.
This was Azriel putting him on notice that he didn't trust Rhys at all anymore.
For a moment it was silent. 
Then Cassian broke it. 
"Give me one good reason, why I shouldn't fucking snap your neck for talking to my brother like that," Cassian seethed. "One reason."
"I didn't...think...
"You didn't think?" Cassian repeated, his voice sharp and incredulous. "Really? You didn't think that your words and actions could have a negative impact on Azriel? You just expected him to be fine after you basically told him that you don't trust him to act like an adult around Elain? That you think Elain and Mor are more important than him? You're unbelievable, Rhys."
"I did what was best for the court," Rhys protested feebly.
"Yes, a spymaster that doesn't trust his High Lord is incredibly good for our court," Cassian agreed with a sage nod, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "You told him to go to a fucking pleasure hall and pay for it? You told Azriel of all people that?! What is fucking wrong with you, Rhys?!"
Rhys let out a frustrated sigh. "I was trying to make a point, Cassian," he said. "He wasn't really in love with Elain, he just liked the idea of her."
Cassian gaped at Rhys, his anger simmering just beneath the surface. "That's bullshit, Rhys, and you know it," he snapped. "Azriel had feelings for Elain, real feelings. Maybe still has them. Who knows. He was ready to die, so that Lucien could live. He did that for her.  Tell me to my face again that he didn't really love her."
Rhys ran a hand over his face, his frustration clear. "I...I may have underestimated the depth of Azriel's feelings for Elain," he admitted grudgingly. "But my duty as High Lord is to protect my court first and foremost. And I really didn't want to deal with a Blood Duel. Beron was still in play then, before Eris got rid of him. If he got wind..."
"I understand your duties, Rhys," Cassian said, his voice gentler now. "But you went too far this time. You crossed a line, and Azriel feels betrayed and hurt. You dismissed his feelings as if they didn't matter, and that's not right. He's not just your spymaster or soldier, he's your brother."
He was. Which was exactly why Rhys didn't want him anywhere near that particular powder keg at that time. And then Elain had already chosen her mate, and Rhys thought with that...it was done.
"He's just being stubborn. He'll get over himself eventually," Rhys said. Right?
That's how far he got, before Cassian punched him straight into the nose.
Rhys stumbled back, clutching his nose. "What the hell, Cassian?" he demanded, his voice muffled by the blood gushing from his nose.
Cassian stared at him, his expression unreadable. "You are really, really stupid, Rhys. Idiotic. Azriel’s not being stubborn, he's heartbroken. Hurt. Betrayed. And you treat his feelings as if they are nothing!"
Rhys winced, his eyes watering from the pain and the accusation in Cassian's words. "I...I just wanted to protect him. I thought it was for the best..."
Cassian barked out a sharp laugh. "You were doing more harm than good, Rhys. You can't just push someone's feelings aside because it's convenient for you. That's not how relationships work, especially not between brothers."
"And what the fuck were you thinking when you told him to behave about Mor?! Did you ever even consider to maybe try and get Mor to talk to Azriel? That maybe that would be a good solution? Make her apologise for treating him like she did treat him? Azriel had every fucking right to be hurt and angry at her. He would have had every fucking right and Mor would have needed to accept that!"
Rhys winced again. "I...I just didn't want any… arguments, Cassian. Mor and Emerie are happy now. I didn't want to dredge up old hurts and cause tensions within the court."
"So because Azriel keeps his feelings quiet and doesn't complain, you just treated him like shit. Great job, High Lord," Cassian drawled.
Rhys flinched at Cassian's words. Deep down he knew Cassian was right. He had been too focused on preserving the peace and avoiding conflict, that he had overlooked and dismissed Azriel's feelings.
"Azriel has done everyhting in his power to make everybody around him comfortable. Nobody ever does the same for him," Cassian said darkly. "I fucked up too, you know. With Mor. With not being there when I should be...but at least I never told Azriel to Behave like he is either your dog or a child." Cassian shook his head. "I have no fucking clue if you even can fix this, Rhys, even if you wanted to. He clearly doesn't trust you at all anymore."
That had just become very fucking clear. 
"I...I never meant to hurt him," Rhys said, his voice cracking. "I just...I thought I was doing what was best for him. For everyone."
"Azriel was willing to go to war for you," Cassian said sharply. "We both were. We knew that everything involving you and Feyre and Tamlin was a war waiting too happen. But we took that risk. And hwne it was time for you to take that risk for your brother, you chose your court over him, Rhys. I get it. I understand why you did it, even if I disagree...I could forgive you that. BUt you telling Azriel to go to a pleasure hall, because he doesn't know his own feelings..."
Rhys felt the weight of Cassian's words settling in his gut like a heavy stone. He had never considered that his actions could be interpreted that way. "But...you have to understand, Cassian. I have responsibilities, a duty to the Night Court and its people. I have to consider the impact every decision has."
“And in this, you were also Azriel’s brother,” Cassian cut him off. “I don’t care about your reasoning. You need to start with a fucking apology. You treated him worse than you would every other of your soldiers.” 
Rhys swallowed. 
To say that Cassian was furious…That was a fucking understatmeent. 
And even if…even if he ignored this…there was something else that…
"His mother..." he wasn't sure how to ask that question. 
"Azriel made that decision," Cassian said calmly. "He didn't want you to feel like that was in any way your fault because you sealed Velaris for 50 years.  Quite frankly...I think Azriel's mother has been searching for an excuse not to see him anymore for a very long time."
Rhys' expression fell, the weight of guilt pressing down on him even more heavily now, if that was even possible. "I...I didn't know," he said quietly. "I...I really didn't know that it had come to this between Azriel and his mother. I...I really didn't, Cassian, I swear."
"Of course you didn't. We kept it from you," Cassian said drily. "Azriel does know how to keep a secret. Which we have just seen. I had absolutely no clue that he has met his mate."
Rhys swallowed. This should...It should have been...something happy that Azriel met his mate. He should have been telling Rhys and Cassian all about it, eyes alight with excitement and not...not spit it out just to spite Rhys.
He had really messed it up this time, hadn't he? Rhys knew that he had to make things right with Azriel, even if it meant facing the hard truth about how he had failed him as a brother and a High Lord.
"Who do you think she is?" he asked weakly.
Cassian stared at him. "I don't fucking care. She can be Sellyn Drake for all I care and I'll be her very best friend as long as she treats Azriel well and makes him happy," Cassian told him tightly. "And you...You'll keep out of it."
Rhys recoiled as if he had been slapped, but he knew Cassian was righr. He had lost the right to be involved in Azriel's personal life, and it was his own fault.
"An apology is the least you owe Azriel,  Rhys. And you owe Mor the fucking truth as well. Namely that the only reason that Azriel is probably civil to her, is that you ordered him to. Actually, you owe all of us the truth."
Rhys grimaced.  He knew that he had to come clean and face the consequences of his actions, even if it meant causing more chaos and unrest within his court. "Feyre is going to kill me," he mumbled under his breaht. Cassian didn't look sorry in the slightest.
"Then you shouldn't have behaved like a fucking asshole," Cassian gave back flatly. "Let's go back to Velaris. We'll have this discussion now.”
Rhys nodded, a sense of resignation washing over him. He took a deep breath and steeled himself for the difficult conversation that was awaitng him.
"What happened to your nose?" Feyre asked as soon as he entered the River House. "Where's Az?"
"I broke it," Cassian gave back drily. "Don't worry, Rhysand deserves worse."
Rhys grimaced at the thought of having to explain the whole situation to Feyre. "Azriel...he got...upset. We had a fight. And Cassian punched me. It's...it's complicated," Rhys mumbled. 
"Correction," Cassian snapped. "You were an utter prick to Azriel, who decided that he would rather spent Winter Solstice with his mate that none of us knew existed. And I punched you, because you didn't even fucking understand what you did wrong in the first place."
Feyre's eyes widened in disbelief as she listened to Cassian's explanation. "Rhys, what is he talking about?" she asked, her voice tinged with concern. "Why would Azriel get so upset?"
"Because apparently, Little Rhysie in his infinite wisdom, did not only tell Azriel and I quote "If you want to fuck somebody, go to a pleasure hall and pay for it," when he found out about Azriel's crush on Elain, but has also apparently spent the last 2 years telling my brother to "behave" like he's some kind of dog," Cassian said sarcastically. Rhys grimaced. "You should consider yourself lucky that I only broke your nose," Cassian told him darkly. "I ought to fucking throttle you for doing this to Az."
Shock and anger poured all over the mating bond and he met Feyre’s eyes with no small amount of trepidation. 
Feyre stared at him, her expression a mix of shock and disappointment. "Is that true, Rhys? Did you really say that to Azriel?"
"Feyre Darling..." he started. 
*Did you really tell Azriel "If you want to fuck somebody, go to a pleasure hall and pay for it.”?* she demanded mentally.
Rhys winced, knowing that he couldn't lie to Feyre through the bond. *I...I may have said something along those lines,* he admitted reluctantly.
Feyre narrowed her eyes at Rhys. "And the whole 'behave' thing?" she asked sharply.
Rhys looked down, unable to meet Feyre's gaze. "I...I may have used that phrase a few times," he said quietly.
"A few times?" Feyre repeated, her voice rising in anger. "How many times, Rhys? How many times did you tell Azriel to 'behave' because of his feelings for Elain?"
“It wasn’t about Elain. It was also about Mor,“ Cassian said drily.
“What?“ Mor demanded. 
Rhys winced as he realized that the truth was about to come out. 
"Mor, I-"
Mor's eyes narrowed as she took in Rhys' reaction. "Tell me, Rhysand. What did you say to Azriel about me?"
Rhys sighed heavily, knowing that he couldn't avoid this conversation anymore. "I...I may have told Azriel to 'behave' around you and Emerie. I was afraid that his feelings for you would cause tension within the court."
Mor's eyes widened in disbelief. "You told him to behave around me?” She swallowed these beautiful brown eyes lined with tears. “You…I thought…I thought he was…he was happy for us but it’s was only because you told him to behave. I let him be, I didn’t try to talk to him, because he seemed fine.”
Rhys winced at Mor's words, feeling the weight of his actions. "I thought it would be easier for everyone, Mor.”
“Easier to make him lie?” Mor asked him, her voice tight. “Easier to forbid him to express his actual feelings? I know…I didn’t behave right with him but I thought we were better. But we weren’t. He was just acting like everything was fine so you wouldn’t lay into him and punish him for misbehaving!”
Rhys felt a pang of guilt in his chest. "I...I never meant to hurt him, Mor. I thought I was doing what was best for everyone."
Mor shook her head, her eyes shimmering with tears. "You weren't doing what was best for him. You were doing what was easiest for you."
Rhys dropped his gaze, knowing that he had brought this situation upon himself. "I...I don't know how to make it right," he admitted. "I've lost his trust, and I don't know if I can ever earn it back."
Amren huffed, crossing her arms, her dark eyes glittering with annoyance. "Well, you certainly made a mess of things, Rhysand." She leaned in closer, her voice low and intense. "But you'd better find a way to fix it. And fast. Because we're not just talking about Azriel here. We're talking about the future of this court."
Rhys nodded tightly. "I know," he said quietly. 
He was very much aware what it would mean to their court if Azriel decided to leave them. The disadvantage they woul find themselves in…and this didn’t even start to cover the personal loss of losing his brother. 
“Leave him be,” Nesta said at that moment. 
Rhys turned to Nesta, his expression conflicted. "I can't just do nothing, Nesta. He's my brother,” he told his sister-in-law, but Nesta wasn’t having it, sticking out her chin. 
"And yet you treated him like some kind of attack dog who needed to be kept under control. That's not how you treat a brother, Rhys," she seethed. “I ought to stab you.”
Rhys flinched at Nesta's words, knowing that she was right. "I know," he said quietly. "I was wrong, and I need to make things right with him."
"You sure as hell better," Cassian growled. "Azriel doesn't deserve any of this bullshit."
***
To his surprise… Sky was at home.
He hadn’t thought she would be there…he thought he would be greeted by an annoyed Hector, who would be bitchy that it was him coming home and not Sky. 
But Hector was nowhere to be seen. He could hear his meowing though. 
He found his mate buried in their bed, seemingly all the blankets in the house put on top of herself…and Hector pawing at the mountain of blankets, demanding to be let in. 
"Are you hiding from the world, my love?" He asked softly, as he crawled into the bed next to her, lifting a few blankets so Hector could slither underneath them, which he did immediately. He carefully pulled the blankets away from her face and Sky looked at him, eyes red from crying. 
In the same breath he suddenly picked up the salty scent of tears. That was all he needed to pull her into his arms. 
“I thought you were having dinner with your family,” Sky whispered, her voice hoarse, burying her face against his chest. 
“Didn’t end well,” he told her drily. “Yours?”
“Didn’t end well either,” she said with a laugh that turned into a sob.
A soft sniffle. No. Not again. He couldn’t deal with her crying. He couldn’t…it ripped apart his hear to see his mate like that and he held her tighter."It's all right, love," he murmured, holding her close. "I'm here with you now. Let it all out." He gently ran his hand up and down her back, trying to soothe her.
"Tell me what's happened," he said gently, his voice filled with concern.
“I…I am a ho…horrible p…person,” Sky whimpered. 
He nearly wanted to laugh at the pure ridiculousness of that statement. Sky, the sweetest person he had ever met, a horrible person? Not possible.
"You're not a horrible person," he said firmly. "Not at all. You're the kindest, most compassionate person I've ever met."
“I…I to…told Cl…Claire th…that at le…least I…I do…don’t ha…have my si…sister’s slop…sloppy se…seconds.”
He needed a moment to parse it, her stutter worse than he had ever heard it. 
“What?” he could just ask dumbly as he blinked. Sky? Sky had said what?!
“I…I to…told Cl…Claire th…that at le…least I…I do…don’t ha…have my si…sister’s slop…sloppy se…seconds,” she repeated and began to cry again, hiding her face in her hands. “I…I am a ho…horrible p…person,” she whimpered.
Azriel gently took her hands in his, guiding them away from her face. "You're not a horrible person, sweetheart," he said firmly. 
She wasn’t. 
He highly doubted that Sky had said that without…without her sister saying something worse first. 
And it wasn’t like it wasn’t…"Besides…you said nothing that wasn’t true,” Azriel said drily.."
Sky hiccuped out a laugh and then started crying in the earnest again. 
“That’s why you are so upset?” He asked softly, against her warm skin. “You aren’t a horrible person. I swear. 
“N..no.” Sky said softly. “I…I am ne..never se…seeing them again.”
Azriel's heart sank at her words. "Your family? Why…why are you never seeing them again?"
“I…I am ne..never se…seeing them again. Not after what they…they said.” She was dead serious. He could hear that in her voice. 
And it was…
Azriel's heart clenched at the thought of her severing ties with her family, of her…they treated her horrible but Sky loved them. Sky loved them so much. So much more than they deserved.  "What did they say, sweetheart?" he asked gently.
Sky took a shaky breath, struggling to get the words out. "They... They said…said so…some things," she whispered, her voice quavering. "Things I can't…I can’t for…forgive them for."
"What did they say, sweetheart?" he asked again, his voice gentle yet firm. "I want to know."
He wanted to know. And then he wanted to kill them for upsetting her like this. 
Sky closed her eyes, tears streaming down her face. "You do…don’t want to know."
Azriel took her face in his hands, gently wiping away her tears. "I do want to know," he corrected her softly. "Because whatever they said, it hurt you, and I want to be there for you."
“They…They had a pro…problem with the fact that you were Ill…Illyrian,” she whispered.
Ah. “You don’t need to say anything more,” he said wryly. “But I promise that I have heard worse. If you still want to be around them…” he hated how they treated sky but he was not about to let her cut off contact with her family just because they didn’t like him. He could deal with that. He had survived worse.
Sky shook her head fiercely. "No,” she said, her voice so weak…and so definitive. “No.” 
Azriel's heart swelled with love for her as she stood her ground. "I understand, sweetheart," he murmured, pulling her closer. "If that's what you want, I'll stand by you, whatever you decide. But I don't want you to make this decision because of me."
“They…They told me that you were a cre…creature and a mo..monster and that they were surprised you hadn’t rip…ripped me apart. My father threatened to disinherit me if I didn’t give up the m…mating bond. So I told him I never wanted to hear a single word from him ever again,” she whispered, her voice growing stronger. 
Azriel's eyes darkened with anger as she recounted the hurtful things her family had said about him. He tightened his arms around her. 
"I'm so sorry, Sky," he whispered. "You don't deserve any of this. And your family doesn't deserve you."
“I coul…couldn't just…just sit there and let them say those ter…terrible things about you, about us,” Sky whispered. “I can't be around people who would say those kinds of things about the person I love the most in the world."
“…you love me?” He whispered in wonder.
She loved him? She chose him? Even over her family? Even…
Sky looked up at him, these blue eyes looking at him. “Yes. More than anything.”
He swallowed, his heart swelling. 
"I love you too, Sky. More than anything," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I'm so grateful that I have you in my life."
Sky smiled, her eyes shining with love. "You….You don't have to do a…anything to deserve me, Azriel. You just have to be yourself. That's all I've ever wanted. And I wouldn't change a thing about you. You're perfect, just the way you are."
Azriel felt a lump form in his throat. "I'm far from perfect, Sky," he said, his voice rough. "But I promise you, I will always do my best to make you happy. That's all I want."
He pressed soft kisses all over her face, making her giggle softly.
“Let’s just have our own Solstice celebration,“ he whispered softly.
Sky smiled at the idea. "Th..That sounds p…perfect," she whispered. “Just the two of us, together. It's a..all I need."
There still was a rabbit he had hunted in the cooling cabinet…and so while Azriel took care of cooking thst, Sky was making…something that involved stale bread, milk, eggs and plenty of sugar for dessert. 
Azriel smiled as he watched her work. "What in the world are you making, love?" he asked, peeking over her shoulder. "It smells delicious."
Sky grinned, holding up the bowl she was stirring. "It's…It’s a bread pudding," she said. "I found an old recipe in a c…cookbook. It's supposed to be a t…traditional Winter Solstice dessert."
Azriel raised his eyebrows in surprise. "You never cease to amaze me, sweetheart," he said, chuckling. "I can't wait to try it." He leaned over and pressed a kiss to her cheek, his heart full of adoration for her.
Sky blushed at his affection. "I just hope it turns out okay," she said, adding a pinch of cinnamon to the mix. "But even if it doesn't, it will be p…perfect just because we're together."
Azriel smiled at her words, feeling a warmth spread through his chest. "You're right," he said softly. "As long as we're together, it doesn't matter what we eat or what we do. Just being with you is a gift in itself."
“You should write poetry,” his mate told him sweetly and he couldn’t help but laugh. He had picked up one of the poetry books she kept weeks ago and had found the whole thing… well. As long as Sky liked it… 
Azriel chuckled, shaking his head. "I don't think I have the talent for poetry, sweetheart," he said, grinning. "But I'm glad you think so highly of me."
Sky playfully nudged him with her shoulder. "Oh come on, I'm sure you could write the most beautiful sonnets if you r…really tried," she teased. "I've heard you whisper s…sweet nothings in my ear before, and they sound pretty poetic to me."
Azriel laughed and wrapped his arms around her. “I'll leave the sonnets to the experts and just continue whispering sweet nothings to you instead,” he promised her softly. 
“Sounds perfect to me,” she agreed brightly.
Dinner with Sky was better than any dinner with the inner circle could be. Roasted rabbit and crusty bread, followed by caramel bread pudding…
And then it was just him and Sky wrapped into each others arms on the couch, with Hector stretched out in front of the fireplace, blankets wrapped around him…
They had promised each other to not go overboard with gifts. But clearly oone of them had not listened, which hadn’t been him… there was a pile of wrapped gifts appearing on the couch table.
Azriel raised an eyebrow at the pile of gifts, chuckling. "Well, someone certainly didn't stick to our agreement, did they?" he teased, glancing at Sky with a playful smile. "Not that I mind, of course," he added, reaching for one of the packages. "I just hope my gift isn't embarrassingly small in comparison."
“…I…I only got you o…one thing,“ Sky admitted weakly, staring at the pile of gift. 
Then who… Azriel stared at the shadows who were swirling happily around sky.
“I think I know the culprit,” he said drily.
*I thought I told you not to buy her anything new,* he told them drily.
*We didn’t!* they assure him.
Azriel chuckled at the insistent swirling of the shadows. "I don't know, love," he said with a grin. "It seems like my shadows are feeling particularly generous this year." He reached for the nearest gift and handed it to her. "Here, why don't you open this one first?"
“You got me something?” Sky asked the shadows. “You shouldn’t have! I didn’t get anything for you!”
Azriel laughed, knowing that it was pointless to try and reason with the shadows when they were in a playful mood like this. "They don't care about that, love," he said, nudging her gently. "They just want to make you happy. Go on, open it."
Azriel had no idea what to even give the shadows anyway. *You could give us permission to ruin her sisters life,* they told him brightly
Azriel laughed again, shaking his head. *As tempting as that may be, I don’t think that's the best way to spread the holiday cheer,* he said drily.
*She deserves it,* the shadows murmured. *We wouldn’t outright kill her…*
*No, you’ll find some mischievous and chaotic way to torment her and make her life miserable,* he retorted with a grin. *Don’t physically harm her,* he warned them quietly. Tacit approval. The shadows danced in the spot as Sky opened the first box. Velvet wrapped. 
Jewellery.
A chicken egg sized sapphire in the middle of a necklace consisting out of sapphire and diamonds. He just sighed. Sky stared.
“Please…Please t…tell me that’s n..not r..real,“ she said weakly, her voice shaking. 
*Of course it’s real,* the shadows assured her like even the suggestion of it being fake was an affront. *Master’s mate doesn’t wear fake gems!*
Azriel would have liked to face palm. 
"I'm afraid the shadows insist that they only give the best for their master's mate," he said wryly. 
„This must have cost a fortune!“ Sky protested. “Where am I even supposed to wear it?“
Azriel chuckled, "I wouldn't waste my breath trying to argue with the shadows.  And as for where you're supposed to wear it, well… anywhere you want, really, love."
*Please tell me you didn’t steal that,* he told the shadows
*We didn't! We got it fair and square!* the shadows protested innocently.
Azriel raised an eyebrow, not quite believing them. *And how exactly did you manage that?* he asked dryly.
*We paid for it,* they told him innocently, fluttering around like they hadn’t bought her the biggest and most expensive sapphire he had ever seen.
“I can’t…“ Sky trailed off. 
“You’ll break their heart if you turn it down,“ Azriel said with a sigh."Just accept it, love," he said gently. "They mean well, even if they have a tendency to overdo it sometimes,” he said pointedly, something the shadows happily ignored. "They have their own line of credit, so whatever they buy is theirs to do with as they please," he said drily. 
Sky grimaced, staring down at the necklace…
"Please…please tell me there isn't…isn’t more pr…priceless je…jewellery in that stack?" she asked with a grimace. "
Azriel laughed, "I wish I could tell you that, but knowing the shadows, I wouldn't be surprised if they've bought you enough jewelry to start your own royal collection."
They had behaved...mostly.
If one ignored the hair comb dripping with some other blue stone...and the earrings that matched that necklace...and the quill that he was pretty sure was encrusted with actual diamonds.
Otherwise they had procured plenty of books for Sky, and had somehow found her a whole stack of notebooks…
(He was pretty sure they lied to him when they told him that they hadn’t bought any of this stuff knew. Where had they kept it otherwise?!)
Azriel couldn't help but shake his head in amusement as Sky opened each gift one by one. "Well, at least they managed to keep it under control for the most part," he said with a wry smile. "But knowing them, I'm sure there's still more where that came from."
Sky's eyes widened as she looked at all the gifts. "This is too much," she protested weakly. "I don't deserve all of this," she muttered. He would have argued, but instead he just pressed a kiss to her temple.  "Thank you very much," she thanked the shadows that happily twirled around her hair at her words.
Azriel chuckled, watching the shadows twirling in the air around Sky's head. "I think you just made their day," he said with a grin. "They're always happy to spoil you, love."
"I…I just hope they re…realize that I have a…absolutely no place to wear all of this," she said with a laugh. "I don't want to look like a walking jewelry store every time I leave the house…"
Azriel chuckled, "Well, they do have a bit of a tendency to go overboard when it comes to their gifts. But I can't really blame them, they just want to make you happy." He leaned over and pressed a kiss to her cheek, his eyes twinkling with love. "And you deserve everything and more, love, even if it makes you look like a walking jewelry store every once in a while."
She melted into the kiss.
"I went a very different route for your gift," she told him drily, handing him a sole gift bag.
The first thing he pulled from it was a tin of tuna. 
The laughter was immediate. He couldn't help it. Deep belly laughter, his amusement apparent, warmth filling his chest. Azriel couldn't help but burst into laughter as he pulled the tin of tuna from the gift bag. "Is this for Hector or for me?" he asked, grinning from ear to ear.
"I did promise to buy you tuna," Sky gave back with a laugh. "I just thought it would set the tone for the second gift."
The second gift he pulled from the bag was a knitted sweater. Slits down the back for his wings...made out of thick and warm and soft black yarn.
Azriel's laughter faded into a gentle smile as he took in the knitted sweater. "Sky, is this..." He trailed off, fingers brushing the soft, warm fabric. "Did you make this?"
"I did promise to knit you a sweater too," she said simply. 
Azriel couldn't help but melt at her words, feeling his heart fill with warmth. "You remembered," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "I can't believe you made this for me, sweetheart." He pulled Sky into a tight embrace, feeling her heart beat in sync with his. "It's perfect," he murmured, his voice muffled against her hair. "Just like you."
"I'm glad you like it," Sky said softly. "I know it's not as a King’s ransom in diamonds… but I wanted to give you something that was made with love."
Azriel pulled back slightly to look into her eyes, his expression softening even more. "It means so much more to me because you made it," he said, his voice tender. "I'll cherish it always, just like I cherish you. Though I must admit my present is going to pale in comparison to that egg sized sapphire too," he told her drily.
Sky laughed, leaning into Azriel's embrace. "Well, to be fair, it's hard to compete with a sapphire that size," she said with a grin. "But I'm sure whatever you got me is perfect, even if it's not worth a small fortune."
It kinda was though. Even though it didn't look that way…mostly because he had spent a good few weeks until he had found a stone that even had a chance to stand next to her eyes. An oval sapphire flanked by two diamonds...set in white gold.
Azriel handed her the last box, trying to appear nonchalant. "Here, open this one," he said, trying to hide his nervousness. "I hope you like it."
Sky carefully untied the silk ribbon wrapped around the box and lifted the lid, her eyes widening in awe as she took in the ring inside.
"Marry me," it burst out of him.They had already accepted a mating bond. A marriage would be nothing more than a couple of vows in front of a priestess. But he...he wanted...
Azriel's heart was racing as he watched Sky's reaction to the ring, hoping and praying that she felt the same way he did. "I know that we already have the mating bond," he said softly. "But I want more than that, sweetheart. I...I want everything."
These devastating eyes lifted, looking at him."I want to spend every day for the rest of my life by your side," he continued, his voice rough with emotion. "I want to wake up next to you every morning and fall asleep holding you every night. I want to build a life with you, a family with you." He took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving hers. "And I want to make it official, in every way possible. Will you marry me, Sky?"
"Yes," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. "Yes, a hundred times yes. I want all of that too, and more. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, to be by your side every step of the way. I want to build a life together, a family together."
Quite frankly, Azriel thought that this Winter Solstice may be the best one he ever had, as she kissed him. 
"We could get started on making that family," Sky told him, biting her lips as she pulled back. "You know how High Fae fertility can be...could take us decades..."
Azriel's eyes widened at her words, a slow smile spreading across his face. "Are you saying what I think you're saying, love?" he asked, his voice low and raspy as he pulled her close.
Sky nodded, her expression shy and hopeful as she looked up at him. "I…I want to be a mother s…someday," she said softly. "And I can't think of anyone I'd rather have children with than you."
Azriel felt his heart melt at her words. He couldn't believe how lucky he was to have found someone who loved him as much as Sky did. "I want that too, love," he said, his voice rough with emotion. "Nothing would make me happier than to have a family with you."
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artist-issues · 1 year ago
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“At least it's not ferociously attacking God quite as directly as Steven Universe did…”
Not that I’m surprised by this statement, but can you elaborate on this? Kinda intrigued by your thoughts on Steven Universe.
Okie dokie, you’re not the only one who has asked me about this, so I suppose I’ll poke the hornet’s nest. 😅 I haven’t talked about this before because I assumed that everyone who wanted to hear my kinds of opinions on stories wasn’t watching or interested in Steven Universe.
It’s like asking vegetarian if they enjoyed a turkey dinner. The turkey dinner was so obviously not made for vegetarians to enjoy, so why would the vegetarian even bother analyzing the turkey?
But I think if some people are asking me why I think Steven Universe is anti-God (of the Bible) its because maybe they don’t know what the turkey is. Not completely. (Maybe not you, because like you said, you’re not surprised by my comment.) So I’ll explain my thoughts on Steven Universe.
If you’re just following me because you liked some stuff I posted, but didn’t realize that I’m a Bible-believing Christian and don’t want to hear about it, unfollow me now. Because I’m going to talk about some hot button issues here and the trolls will come out.
Steven Universe is really well-done. The jokes are funny, the writing is believable, the characters have great chemistry, great design, the concept is fascinating, the slow build-up and reveal of the plot elements is great. But when you watch the throne room scene in the last episode of Season 5 “Change Your Mind,” it’s alarmingly clear how much the whole show is not just settling for defending and championing the LGBTQ+ worldview—it goes all the way to attacking what Christians believe, on the other side.
Anything that’s pro-LGBTQ+ is doing that by default, but this show goes out of its way to do that.
You have to understand: God created and designed us. Deeper than that; He created and designed romantic relationships, and invented marriage. He didn’t just create love—He is love. So when humans come along and do what we’ve always done since the fall, and say, “I’d rather define what Your thing is and how it works for myself, God,” it’s not only an incredible slap in the face, it’s an attack on God’s actual identity—and it’s destructive for us and the people around us. Like a fish insisting it can breathe oxygen.
But Steven Universe goes beyond that. It knows that the Christian worldview is it’s biggest opposition. It digs right down to the heart of the worldview-battle. LGBTQ+ worldview says, “I should get to love what I want and be who I am, because I’m me. Love is love. (By which I mean, any action or relationship I choose to call love is love, because I’m the one calling it that.)”
Biblical worldview says “No, wait, you shouldn’t base your decisions on you alone; what you want changes day to day, and you’re broken, so you can’t ever be satisfied based on what you want—the Bible says God made you for something, and you rejected that, and it broke you. You’re not how you’re meant to be: even what you want and what you think love is is twisted up and can hurt you and others. But if you submit to God He’ll help you, He’ll fix what’s broken and give you new life by making you how you were supposed to be: He’ll live in you and through you.”
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Are we beginning to get the picture?
See, the whole thing with the opposing views between LGBTQ+ and Christian people is as old as time. It’s not a new debate. It’s Satan and Eve in the garden. She says, “This is not how God said things should be,” and Satan says, “Are you sure that’s what He said? He knows if you do this thing, you’ll be like Him. You’ll be god: you’ll get to decide ‘how things should be’ for yourself.”
He lied and said that disobedience would satisfy her. That she knew what her own heart needed better than the God that made it did. That the very act of being imperfect would make her godlike.
And then Steven Universe comes along and says “if every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hotdogs.”
And has a cast of created being characters who’s imperfections (Garnet’s forbidden “love,” Pearl’s obsession, Amethyst’s insecurity) are supposedly “the best thing about them; what makes them who they are.”
And has a main character who used to be a part of the god-like creator relationship, but used her power to come down to earth and completely change who she is into a fully different person.
And has a godlike Creator character who claims she “doesn’t need” her created beings (just like the God of the Bible) but they all have a little part of their creator in them so she has to repress their imperfections; she holds them all to a standard that’s impossible to reach called “perfection” and punishes them when they don’t meet it even though it hurts them to try; she expects them all to do what they were created by her for; she fixes them when they can’t meet her standard by shining her light through them and making them extensions of their Creator.
And has a main character who argues, fights back, tries to stop her, and is answered with lines that sound surprisingly like what LGBTQ+ people hear when Christians argue with them: “you’re only making things worse; you’re just deceiving yourself; even while you resist it your actual light can’t help shining through,” etc.
White Diamond just wants everything to be perfect. Like her. She just wants her created beings to “be themselves.” But what she means is, be how she created them to be.
And she’s the bad guy. She’s playing God in this show, and Rebecca Sugar is saying, “If God is telling us that can only be happy by being perfect, as He is perfect, and doing what He created us to do, then He’s wrong. Our imperfections are what make us special—unique—individuals—free—and there is nobody who has the right to take that freedom away from us, not even out creator!”
And you know what?
If God were like White Diamond, like Rebecca Sugar believes Him to be, Steven Universe would be right.
But He is NOT.
God is not a dictator who forces us to conform to a standard of perfection and then smashes us when we don’t meet it. He is a King who made us perfect to begin with, and we rejected him, because He allowed us to do that. He knew that true love was love that had to be chosen, and He wanted us to love Him by choice, so he gave us the option. But Rebecca Sugar doesn’t understand—there was never “Choose God or Choose Yourself.” There was only, “Choose God or Choose Nothing.” There was nothing except God. Then He created everything. There is no version of reality where you have something better than God, or even slightly less good but different, to pick. You’re not jumping from one ship into a smaller one, but at least it’s yours—you’re jumping from one ship into a void, and then complaining that there’s no other ship. That’s humans. That’s not God. / White Diamond didn’t make her creations perfect (Amethyst) and she didn’t make them for love. She made them for power. That’s not the God of the Bible.
Even when we did choose to try and love ourselves instead of God, and therefore warped our ability to perfectly love at all, He didn’t smash us. True, everything fell and was cursed, which is exactly what He warned us would happen if we chose it, but it was a natural consequence of breaking ourselves. And then He didn’t leave us that way. He didn’t give up on us. And He certainly didn’t just zap us, snap His fingers, quick-fix it and turn us all into robots who are extensions of Him, who say they love Him but only because it’s His voice puppeting us to say it.
No. He came to us, chose to give up His life at the exact point on the timeline when Romans, masters in the art of slow, humiliating, torturous death, would be the ones to carry out His crucifixion, and saved us Himself. Through the sacrifice of His own life. And even then, we still have a choice. We get to choose to accept that incredible self-sacrifice when we don’t deserve it, and be given new life and a relationship with the Creator who knows us and loves us better than we can love ourselves or receive love from others—OR we can just keep stubbornly insisting that our slavery to the opposite of what God wants is somehow freedom, and our twisted versions of love are genuine, and we’re not broken, and die like that. Die broken creatures who lived their whole lives stomping their feet and screaming “I’m not a creature, I’m a god!”
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White Diamond sacrifices nothing, because Rebecca Sugar doesn’t know the God of the Bible. She just knows her idea of Him. She’s never actually gotten to know Him. If she had, she’d learn how silly and twisted her idea is.
Because you know what, yeah, if every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs. But people aren’t pork chops. And hot dogs have flavor (not better than pork chops) but they are awful for you.
Christians aren’t perfect cuts of meat with no individuality or flavor. Just because we all know and love the same God doesn’t mean we have no personalities. It just means we don’t think so freaking much about what we are, or who we get to be, or what we like and want. Jeez, what a self-centered, narcissistic, self-obsessed way to live. She plays Steven like he’s this wonder-child, innocent and full of heart, who encourages his friends to love and keep trying. But honestly?
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This is very pretty animation but it’s not real. Steven looks happy hugging Steven but self-love doesn’t ultimately get you that.
That’s all based on the premise that what he’s encouraging them to do is actually good, and will make them happy, and will help them love better. And it just won’t. Not in real life. That’s not how any of this works. Self-love is just self-obsession. And that is a sure-fire way to hurt you, and everyone around you.
You’ll never be free by choosing to run to a worse master. You’ll never be satisfied with your crappy attempts at loving yourself, because you were made to be loved flawlessly and forever by someone who is Love Himself.
And choosing to identify with your imperfections doesn’t make you uniquely you. It just makes you exactly like every other human being marching in the same line since the Fall.
White Diamond’s not relational. She’s up high and distant. That’s not God. He made you to be in relationship with Him. He loves you, totally and perfectly, and He proved it by sacrificing for You.
So yeah. That’s the problem with Steven Universe. Come get me, SU fans.
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nothorses · 3 months ago
Note
This is a genuine ask and I hope it doesn't come off as rude, obviously people can do whatever they want forever, but what is the logic behind a lesbian dating a transgender man? (By lesbian I mean someone who is only attracted to women), wouldn't that exclude binary trans men then since trans men are men? Or is it like "Trans men can be lesbians because they have vaginas" which just feels like bioessentialism with progressive wording...
I think the core misunderstanding here might be in your use of the word "logic". And there's a super high chance I'm extrapolating more intention than you put into that word choice, but hear me out.
On a super basic level, I think it's important to understand the reasons people use words like "lesbian" and "trans man" in the first place. In certain contexts, it makes sense to assign these terms more rigid definitions: a study would likely have a single, clear definition for those words in order to talk about some research results. An academic essay might need a shared definition if they're talking about broad trends and systemic issues.
But when we're talking about an individual's choice of identity labels- the words they use to describe their own personal experiences and relationship to gender and orientation- it doesn't make as much sense to apply someone else's definition of those words to that individual's use of them. They're trying to describe their own internal world to you; what matters in that conversation is how they understand the words they use, and why they chose them.
Don't get me wrong: common understandings of a word can play a part in that conversation! My understanding of what "gay trans man" means has been shaped almost entirely by other people. I chose those words for myself because of what I think most people will understand them to mean. In twenty years, it's possible that the common understandings of those words could change, and I might use different words to better communicate the same internal experience.
But I also might not. I might decide that my personal connection to those words is more important to me, or even that saying I'm a "gay trans man", as a person 20 years older than I am now, better reflects my internal experience as one that was shaped by the time I came to understand myself in. Maybe it'll be important to me to communicate that I understand myself as a "gay trans man" because of what those words meant 20 years ago. Maybe it'll be important to me to ask tomorrow's queer people to learn about my context, and my story, in order to really understand me.
And maybe, when I fill out a survey for a queer study in 20 years, I'll read the definitions they use for all of these identity labels and categorize myself accordingly, even though I don't personally identify with those definitions or words.
So yeah, I could talk about all the reasons someone might identify as a "lesbian" and still be attracted to trans men. I could talk about trans men who still call themselves "lesbians" because of what the words meant 20 or 40 years ago, or some unique definition they heard in one place and decided they liked enough to keep, even though nobody else has even heard it. I could talk about lesbians whose partners turn out to be trans men, and who still feel attracted to them afterwards; whose partners are okay with, or even feel validated by, their lesbian partners still calling themselves "lesbians". I could talk about nonbinary trans men, and bigender or multigender trans men, who are women and/or lesbians as much as they are trans men. I could talk about bi and pan lesbians, who may find themselves attracted to one trans man or a handful of men- trans and cis both- but otherwise mostly experience attraction to women.
But like, the point shouldn't be to find a good enough reason to justify it. The point isn't the "logic". The point is to understand that everyone's internal experience is fundamentally different from yours, and to be curious about each individual.
It's great that you asked this question in sincerity, but I'm the wrong person to be asking.
When someone says they're a lesbian who's attracted to trans men, they're trying to share something about themselves with you! That is a precious, unique thing you are being entrusted with. Get curious! Ask them what those words mean to them, and take the opportunity to get to know them better. Learn their story! Connect!
I can't tell you that person's story any more than you can guess it on your own, no matter how much you try to logic it out. That's exciting! The world is big, and it's full of unique stories and perspectives you couldn't even dream of inventing! That's so much better than a logic puzzle, don't you think?
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novantinuum · 11 months ago
Text
Steven's Breakdown Was Inevitable From the Very Beginning
I feel like the thing that fucks me up the most about Steven Q. Universe and how well conceived he is as a character is that the fundamental building blocks of why he reached his breaking point in SU: Future were laid out as clear as day in the span of legit only the first four episodes of the original show. The writing was literally always on the wall that future him would struggle with matters of self worth and identity in relationship to the others around him.
Let's take a look:
Gem Glow
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"Awesome! What are these things?"
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Foundational Trauma #1: Steven's home is always either under threat or actively being wrecked by antagonistic forces/beings, and he constantly copes with this by pushing down his fear in favor of a curiosity and silver linings based mindset.
Look at his initial shock when he opens the door and gets tackled by one of these things, and then his response when one of them spits acid:
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The kid's freaked the hell out about all this, and while I do think there's a part of Steven that genuinely IS curious about what these lil critters are, I think he's subconsciously using that curiosity as a way to distract himself from his own fears and anxieties. This is Steven actively learning how to ignore the deeper problems in favor of emoting a facade to the others in his life that he can totally handle himself in scary situations like these.
The underlying reason why is incredibly apparent, when you look at the example from the next episode-
Laser Light Canon
"I don't know what a magic lady like her ever saw in a plain old dope like me..."
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Genuinely- from the bottom of my heart- I think the above quote from Greg is a moment where his own insecurities around the Gems actually rubbed off on Steven.
At this point in time, Steven may be living with the Gems... but he hasn't started to harness any of his powers at all, so in his own head he might as well be the same as his dad- another human, just one who happens to have a gem! But the way Greg talks about himself... given Steven was living with him in the van for years before moving in to the beach house, he had to have heard negative self-talk from his dad like this before.
And then there's the rest of the Crystal Gems... always speaking of Rose with such reverence as if she were an all-powerful goddess... and Steven can't help but look back at himself, and his gem that won't work... the gem that the others still identify as Rose's...
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"Your gem-! You have Rose's gem!"
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And maybe he starts to wonder if- without any working powers- he's just a plain ol' dope like his Dad, too.
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"Please work... Unlock! Activate! Go! Please-!! Everyone's counting on you, you can't just be useless!"
Foundational Trauma #2: Steven has Rose's gem, and as such, is constantly living under the silent expectation to live up to a standard that he simply cannot ever hope to achieve, because he doesn't KNOW her and he never will.
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I want to highlight one of Steven's expressions while his dad is talking about Rose- look at that sad look. My god, I just wanna hug him. This is the expression of a child who has already come to terms with the fact that his only relationship with his mom is through the rose tinted stories that other people tell him about her.
Cheeseburger Backpack
So. Steven has learned so far that he needs to push down his feelings and emote a false veneer of cheer and bravery even when he's afraid, because the rest of the people in his life have expectations and hopes for him due to the legacy of his parentage and he can't bear the thought of letting them down. (And in a sad way, at this point "letting them down" literally just means... being an ordinary human boy. I believe Steven at this stage of the show is flat out scared to be human, because to be human is to fail at being a Gem, and no amount of love and sacrifice in the name of humanity in the seasons to come could've ever saved him from the fundamental fact that the wedge between him and this whole half of his being was already drawn long before the events of season 1 even started. But I digress.)
Let's see where we go from there. Let's check out Steven's first "mission." Or as Pearl puts it about 35 episodes later, his first "test."
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"Yeah... they can't all be winners."
This episode is tinted with a little bit of tragedy for me on rewatch, because I genuinely do think the Gems handled the situation as well as they could've. They were supportive of Steven's successful ploys, and (for the most part) responded with grace when he majorly blundered and left the Goddess Statue at home. The main problem, however, is that Steven has already developed a bit of a complex about impressing the three of them-
Foundational Trauma #3: Even when they claim otherwise, Steven has convinced himself that affection from the Gems is transactional, and that when he messes up he's not truly a part of the Crystal Gems.
Of course we the audience know this isn't true- I mean, hell, Amethyst even said as much in episode one after her slip-up ("and you're fun to have around, even if your gem IS useless!")... that the Crystal Gems wouldn't be the same without him. But Steven... the poor kid is a complicated little guy living a complicated life, and whether they intended it or not, the language used they've used around him thus far has not backed up their attempts at fully embracing him, human parentage and all.
Thus, Steven just spends the entire episode wracked with anxiety trying to find creative non-power using ways to make the mission easier so he can convince them he's useful to have around.
Look how nervous he gets even when all three of them are visibly and vocally supportive of his presence here:
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This is the face of a boy who feels like he's under constant judgement and scrutiny from those around him.
Blessedly, viewing this episode in isolation, he experiences a brief moment of mental respite where he finally accepts the Gems' encouragement and agrees that his ideas 'can't all be winners,' but this lesson does not stick for him moving forward. A shame, really.
Together Breakfast
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"What's the matter, Steven?" "I wanted us all to have breakfast together, so I made Together Breakfast! But everyone keeps leaving..." "Oh, that's nice..."
Taken in context with what we've learned already in the last three episodes, Steven's desperation to spend quality time with the Gems here and his sadness that they keep leaving him alone doesn't just exist within a vacuum. He spends the whole morning watching them shuffle in and out of the temple, or come back from missions he wasn't invited on, and with the disastrous result of the LAST mission he went on probably fresh in his mind it's not hard to understand why this bothers him.
Foundational Trauma #4: Steven internalizes that the price of "not being useful" is that the Gems actively ignore him, meaning that the only way to guarantee their attention is to work as hard as he can to become a stronger member of the team.
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I know this screenshot is usually used as a lighthearted meme, but I wanted to include it because I think it's a good example of how Steven's intense desire to impress permeates every facet of his personality at times. Just LOOK at how desperate he is to make Garnet laugh at his joke, to be the one that's at very least "fun to have around," as Amethyst put it in episode one.
The Gems do eventually drop what they're doing to spend time with Steven by the conclusion of this episode, but this only comes after Steven shows his growing strength and "proves" himself by saving their butts from the breakfast monster.
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If he successfully gained their attention in literally any other way he might've come away from this episode with a different lesson, but no. Instead, his fears were proven true- the Gems value strength and utility, and if he's not exhibiting that, then what use is he to them?
These fears of his can be seen weaving throughout the foundational fabric of the entire show, but I think Steven lays out what he sees as his "stakes" in the clearest way possible in the episode 'An Indirect Kiss.'
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"But- if I don't have powers, then I can't hang out with Amethyst, or Garnet, o-or Pearl, and- I-I can't go on missions!"
And these same insecurities even rear their ugly head as late as the movie.
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"I can't believe this... for the first time in years, everyone's in danger, everybody needs me, and- I'm useless!"
Powers = Utility = Worth = Other's love, for Steven. Everything is transactional to the end, which is a hilarious double standard he's set for himself when he's made his reputation as the kid who always listens and encourages and gives others a chance to change, no matter their messy history with him.
__
So let's recap and restate those foundational traumas from Steven's perspective.
One: The only way to cope when your life is constantly under threat is to bury the damage and pretend to be fine.
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Two: Everyone expects you to live up to the standards of someone you're not.
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Three: The Gems only love you when you're of use to them.
Four: If you ever stop being useful, the Gems won't want anything more to do with you.
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In sum, Steven's habit of burying his feelings for the benefit of others was there from the very beginning, not just since 'The Test.'
Those unreachable standards he felt so daunted and intimidated by all his life were the ones set by Rose, at first... but over the course of the series, the dynamic of this shifted. As Rose's influence fell into the background, Steven's rose into the front. And so it's with great irony that- by the time of Steven Universe: Future, the expectations this exhausted, worn down teenager is fighting to once again achieve are the ones HE set for himself. Many of young Steven's selfless actions during the war are quite admirable when analyzed in isolation, but almost none of them are sustainable. He set himself on fire just to save the world, but teen Steven is genuinely unable to see this for what it is yet- as a tragic sacrifice of his own childhood. You can't burn your own ends for others forever, not at all. His breakdown was simply inevitable.
When it comes to the interconnected beliefs three and four, these are exactly why the ultimate confrontation at the end of I Am My Monster HAD to be one fueled by selfless love. Steven is at his absolute lowest at this point- he's everything he fears he's become, trapped in a form that's nearly incapable of reason. He's big and angry and spiky because that's a part of the facade- because a part of him WANTS to scare the Gems away, wants to be left alone forever, believing this the fate he deserves as price for his misdeeds.
In this form, by his own definitions he is NOT useful to the Crystal Gems at all.
But they don't care.
Because it never WAS about Steven's 'usefulness' to them, they simply love him for being Steven.
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With this in mind, the conclusion of Steven Universe: Future wasn't just a salve to teen Steven's immediate struggles, it was a salve to the foundational insecurities that have been plaguing him his entire life.
And hopefully... from this point on... his family's shows of love and encouragement will be enough to finally convince Steven that he's more than worth their time...
No matter what path the future leads him on, and no matter what form he takes.
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wheneverfeasible · 4 months ago
Text
Confession
wc: 3k || rating: T+ || AO3 || cw: referenced homophobia, homophobic language || summary: Eddie comes out to Wayne
Eddie Munson was bi.
Bisexual, meaning liking boys and girls and anything in-between.
What. The. Fuck.
It was all stupid Harrington’s fault. Steve. God, why did it have to be a preppy jock? There were plenty of other guys that could have snapped that realization on him, but no, he had to watch Steve Harrington spit out demobat blood (if it could be called that) after ripping its fucking spine out that made Eddie realize ‘huh, I think I like guys.’
It wasn’t like Steve was the only guy he was attracted to, he was shocked to realize. No, now that he knew that it was a possibility, his obsession with some of the musicians of bands whose music he wasn’t even that fond of started making a lot more sense, as well as how he’d reacted to some of the guys he’d gone to school with, or who had bought from him, and Jesus H. Christ, that guy at The Hideout had been hitting on him, hadn’t he?
So yeah, Eddie was dealing with a little bit of shock at his attraction to his friend, as well as the fact that that attraction was also apparently becoming a legitimate crush. Because that was healthy and safe to do. Especially when last he knew, Steve was still hung up on Nancy. And in a weird codependent relationship with Robin. Seriously, if he had to listen to Dustin complaining about why Steve wouldn’t just date Robin one more time, he was going to pull his hair out.
But so Eddie was bisexual. That was fine. Once he’d had his little crisis—and he’d been given plenty of time to think about it while recovering from being the main course at the all-you-can-eat Eddie Munson buffet—he’d done a little bit of research into the topic. Which was how he’d discovered that he had unintentionally been telling every gay man (if he came across any) that he apparently liked to top and was into inflicting pain with his sexual partners (suddenly the guy at The Hideout made more sense).
And…okay, maybe Eddie left the bandana there. He didn’t know, but the idea of it wasn’t too bad. Maybe. Maybe he should look into getting other bandana colors too, just in case.
It didn’t matter. He was still inexperienced, had only been with chicks before, and even then there had only been three of them. Two of them had only slept with him for the story, and the third one…well, everyone needed a little heartbreak in their life he supposed. Maybe he and Steve could compare notes.
The idea of sleeping with a guy, however, was not…unpleasant. It took him by surprise, sure, but he thought he could be down to trying some things out.
That wasn’t the issue on hand, however. It wasn’t what was eating him up inside, making him nauseous as he gnawed at his cuticles, pacing back and forth in the new double wide trailer the government had bought for them after Forest Hills was repaired. (R.I.P. to his uncle’s mug and hat collection.)
And there it was. The issue. His uncle.
Eddie could keep it a secret, sure. Could stay firmly inside the closet he hadn’t even known he’d been in, sitting safe and secret. But…that went against Eddie stood for. Sure, he knew he couldn’t shout it from the rooftop that he maybe sometimes thought about what it would feel like to have one of his best friends’ dicks in his mouth, but this was his uncle, man. This was Wayne.
Christ, he wished he had Ronnie, his former best friend, here to talk with her about all this. (He had also discovered another identity he hadn’t known about, asexuality, which he thought was right up Ronnie’s alley and wished he could tell her, but that was impossible now. She’d left Hawkins behind for a fresh start and he couldn’t blame her.)
But that meant that he was all alone. He loved the new friends he had, loved his band, but…well, this was something a little more complicated. And he wanted to tell his uncle. But…
Eddie gulped, every crunch of gravel outside the trailer sending an electric current through him as his anxiety spiked. His uncle should be home from work soon. Eddie paced a small circuit, knowing he needed a cigarette but also not wanting to go outside. His uncle had declared the new trailer a smoke-free zone. He doubted it would remain that way after this conversation.
He’d like to think his uncle would be supportive. After all, this was Wayne. His uncle loved him, had been there for him even when his own father hadn’t, and had stood by his side even when the whole town thought he was some psycho satanic serial killer. Hell, Wayne had walked in to Chrissy’s mangled corpse in his trailer and hadn’t once suspected Eddie of being guilty.
But having a queer for a nephew?
His uncle was progressive, but that didn’t mean he’d feel as complacent about his nephew being…what he was. His uncle had taken him in after he’d already grown and never expected him to help with the rent money, though Eddie did anyways with the money he got from dealing. But so Eddie was an adult, had a GED to his name, and didn’t need his uncle’s charity anymore.
Gravel crunched outside, the familiar sound of a truck engine rumbling along, and Eddie knew his uncle was home. Fuck. He hoped he didn’t leave this encounter with a black eye. Or worse. Hell, there were some people in this town that if he told this secret to, he wouldn’t leave the encounter at all. Not alive at least.
He knows his uncle isn’t like they though. He knows. Still, the fear persists. He’d always known he’d be too much for his uncle eventually. Would this be the final straw?
Wayne’s footsteps sounded on the porch.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!
Eddie had, in case he had to leave quickly, already packed a duffel. He wanted to trust his uncle, and he did, really, but…but there was that sickness going around, and Reagan, and Hawkins was such a conservative town, and Eddie just couldn’t know, not for certain. Not with something like this.
“Heya kid,” Wayne said with a gruffness to his voice that spoke of long hours at the plant, though there was the small relieved smile that curled his lips when he got home and saw Eddie there. Like Eddie’s presence was a reassurance now. Eddie hated that he was about to ruin that all.
Because sure, there was a possibility that Wayne would accept him, or at least not kick him out, but Eddie had seen too much shit to think that things would ever be easy for him. It was the Munson Curse.
“Hey Uncle Wayne,” Eddie said, and maybe it was the title, maybe it was the way his words warbled in his throat, but Wayne immediately stopped from where he was moving to pour the morning’s coffee into a generic mug and turned to face Eddie with a furrowed expression.
“Everything all right, Eds?” he asked quietly, hesitantly, and took a large stride over to where Eddie was hovering by the coffee table. He froze, however, eyes widening, when Eddie flinched. Wayne swallowed, his gaze darting over Eddie as though looking for an injury. “Eddie?”
He could do this. His uncle deserved to know he had a fucking fairy living under his roof. Maybe he wouldn’t care, or maybe he’d be fine with it as long as Eddie never acted on it, or maybe…maybe…
Eddie thickly swallowed against the rising burn of bile in the back of his throat. He wanted his uncle to know because this was a part of who he was and it was important to be honest with himself and with his only family member still alive that genuinely loved him, just…he hoped he didn’t lose that love with his confession. But he wanted Wayne to know. Even if it hurt.
“U-Uncle…” Eddie wrapped his arms tightly around himself, his tone almost pleading. He blinked back the burn behind his eyes next, willing the words to come out of his mouth. As soon as he’d fully realized the truth, fully known what it meant, he knew that he’d tell Wayne. No matter what, he wanted his uncle to know this about him.
Wayne’s face grew slightly panicked at Eddie’s response, the way he held himself, the tone of his voice, and Eddie could tell the older man wanted to reach out for him but was taken aback by Eddie’s earlier flinch. Christ, would Wayne still want to hug him after this? Touch him? Be in the same room as him? Breathe the same air?
Would he tell Eddie that Alan Munson had been right all these years when he’d continually abandoned Eddie because he’d somehow known his own son wasn’t worth sticking around for?
Wayne took another step closer and Eddie panicked.
“I’m bi!” he exclaimed suddenly, wincing as he withdrew into himself, squeezing his eyes shut as he subconsciously braced for some sort of physical attack. “I’m bisexual,” he whispered, his words shaking.
There was silence, stillness.
Eddie drew in a shaky breath and risked opening his eyes to look at Wayne, expecting disgust, revulsion, perhaps even anger. Instead, all he got was…confusion?
“What?” Wayne asked, his expression full of his lack of understanding what Eddie had just said.
Eddie swallowed again. “I…I’m bi? I like…both girls and boys,” he clarified carefully, though there was a touch of confusion in his own words, his brows furrowing as they only seemed to stump Wayne further. Eddie frowned, figuring he was as clear as could be.
“Did…” Wayne began frowning a little himself, still looking confused. “Okay? But you’re lookin’ like you wanted t’ tell me somethin’.”
Eddie blinked.
“I’m bi,” he repeated pointedly, his arms dropping to his side.
Wayne rolled his eyes to look at the ceiling for a moment in mild exasperation before looking at Eddie again. “Son, did someone say somethin’ ‘bout it?” His lips twisted into a small scowl. “Did that Harrington boy say anything?”
“What? Jesus, no!” Eddie exclaimed, because why the hell was his uncle bringing up Steve when he’d just come out to him? His insides still warmed at being called ‘son,’ however. “Wayne I’m…I…” The panic started up again despite everything and he swallowed nervously. “I like boys, Wayne. I’m a queer.”
Wayne just blinked at him, his scowl turning once more into a confused frown. “Why do you keep saying that?”
“Because it’s the truth!” Eddie exploded, not having expected his uncle to think he was making it up or lying. Jesus, and what a thing to lie about.
“Obviously,” Wayne snorted in answer, crossing his arms over his chest as he let his gaze roam over Eddie as if looking for an answer. “But I need to know what this prelude is for.”
Eddie felt lost. He stared at his uncle in confusion, his earlier fear and anxiety slowly draining away as he tried to make sense of what was happening. His uncle sounded…sounded like he already…
“You knew?” he asked, voice soft and fragile.
Wayne’s brows lowered, and Eddie felt a little offended that Wayne was looking at him like he was an idiot. “Eddie…I’ve known since you were twelve years old and told me you thought Big Bill Broonzy was pretty after lookin’ through your mom’s old records with the biggest blush on your face.”
Eddie gaped. He vaguely recalled something like that, but that wasn’t…he hadn’t…Jesus fucking H. Christ.
“And you didn’t tell me?” Eddie huffed in sudden annoyance.
“I thought you knew!” Wayne protested, throwing his hands up and looking like he was losing what this conversation was even about. “Wait, you mean to tell me that you’ve been makin’ moonin’ eyes at the Harrington boy and you didn’t even know you liked him?”
Eddie’s blush now could rival any he made when he was twelve. He stuttered, gaped, and dragged a whole handful of hair to cover his face in his embarrassment. “I know that,” he whined. “God, have I have been that obvious?”
Wayne snorted, rolling his eyes as he moved to finish pouring himself that cup of coffee. “Had me worried he finally said somethin’,” he muttered to himself. He turned to point the plain white mug at Eddie. “If he or any of the others do, you let me know, Edster, you got that?”
Eddie softly groaned, burying his face in his hands next as he stumbled back to drop onto the sofa. No wonder Robin had started giving him those looks. He gulped. And…and Steve. Steve had been smiling at him more often, was…was lightly touching him with lingering fingers, had even used that voice on him that he’d use on the pretty girls that stopped by Family Video…
Steve hadn’t been using that voice on any pretty girls that stopped by Family Video recently.
Gulping, realizing that that was not something he had the ability to think about right now, he focused on the truly important thing. He lifted his head to stare at his uncle with wide, shining eyes, his heart fluttering so madly in his ribcage he’d almost thought he’d trapped a bird in there. He licked his lips, eyeing his uncle with wary hope.
“You…you don’t mind?” he asked, needing to clarify, needing to know. “You don’t mind I like boys too?”
Wayne snorted, reaching for another mug and pouring it half full, leaving enough space for him to pour a godawful amount of sugar and a splash of milk in it, just like his nephew liked it, before taking it over to Eddie. He sat down on the sofa next to him, hanging it over. Eddie was grateful for it, even if it was room temperature now.
“Son, I know you ain’t lived here with me long, and I know your father…well, Al’s always had his faults. But we’re family, kid. I’ve loved you since the moment Elizabeth told me she was pregnant with you. Nothing is ever gonna change that, you hear?” He sniffed, taking a sip of his coffee. “‘Sides, ain’t nothin’ wrong with love. You just got lucky, and your chances for love have doubled now.”
Eddie glanced over at his uncle with a shy smile, relief and affection for the older man coursing through him. He cradled his own mug between his hands, drawing in a shaky breath. Wayne knew. Wayne knew and he still loved him. A small, tearful chuckle escaped him and he hastily wiped away one of the tears that fell down his cheek.
“Eddie…” Wayne sighed, sounding regretful as he set his mug on the coffee table and turned to properly face his nephew. “I am deeply sorry if I have ever made you feel like I wouldn’t accept you, like my love for you was conditional.”
Eddie hastily shook his head, setting his own mug down to mirror Wayne’s position, curling one knee halfway on the couch. “You didn’t,” he reassured. “You didn’t, I just…I…” He felt bad now for doubting Wayne. For packing a bag like he was going to get tossed out at any moment. For thinking even just for a second that his uncle would ever hit him.
Wayne studied Eddie’s face before letting out a soft sigh and a small nod. “I understand. It’s not safe out there right now, especially not with everything.” And Wayne didn’t even know everything. He couldn’t, not with all the papers Eddie’d been forced to sign while being patched up after everything. But he knew that he didn’t know, so there was at least that.
“I shouldn’t have doubted you,” Eddie murmured. “I trust you, Wayne. That’s why I wanted you to know. As soon as I was sure, I wanted you to know.” He huffed. “Meanwhile, you knew before even I did.”
Wayne grinned then, reaching out to clap Eddie on the shoulder, making the younger man grin back. “Here I thought it was just some unspoken understanding between us. Guess I know why you always seemed confused when I bought more mugs with rainbows on them.”
“Oh my god,” Eddie moaned, slapping a hand to his face. “I am such an idiot.”
Throwing his head back with a laugh, Wayne relaxed against the sofa, making Eddie chuckle and do the same. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, boy. Just know that you’re safe here, and so is whoever you bring around.” He huffed. “Even if it is the Harrington boy.”
Eddie quickly shook his head again, his hair fanning around him at the force of it, a nervous laugh escaping him. “Oh no, Wayne. Absolutely not. Steve is as straight as they come.” He smiled a little ruefully at that, and though Steve had been smiling at him like that, it was just because they were friends. Expecting anything else would just lead to more heartbreak.
Wayne gave him a disbelieving quirk of his brows. “Whatever you say, kid.”
Eddie rolled his eyes in response. “You thought he had said something homophobic earlier.”
Reaching for his mug, Wayne gave a one shouldered shrug. “Wouldn’t be the first time someone projected anger at themselves outwards.” He eyed Eddie. “They good to you though? Your friends. You feel…safe with them?”
Eddie thought about that. He trusted them, with his life actually, and not just in the figurative way. They’d proven that they’d save him, time and again. He even had his very own brand new walkie-talkie and call sign to show for it. He was part of something bigger now, something real, which was just what he had always wanted. Even if it was all over, their little group was a forever sort of thing.
Smiling, Eddie nodded. “Yeah, I think so.” He glanced over at Wayne with a soft look. “But no matter what, I know have you to back me up so…yeah, I feel safe because I know at the end of the day, I won’t be alone.” He had needed to tell Wayne first, but maybe…maybe he could tell the others too. Eventually.
Wayne gave a short nod. He seemed content with that answer. “Just remember to use protection when you bring your boy over.”
“Wayne!” Eddie screeched scandalized, but his uncle only laughed.
Of course, it still took several months to get there, but when Wayne came home early one day to find Eddie and Steve shirtless and making out on the sofa, all Eddie could do was give his uncle a sheepish smile.
When the next day Wayne came home and chucked a new pack of condoms at his head, Eddie just gave another scandalized screech while Steve, once again next to him, flushed a bright cherry tomato red.
They’d use them, of course, but it was the principle of the matter.
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spider-stark · 2 years ago
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SPIDER-BOY
Pairing - Peter Parker x Reader
Summary - Thinking he has no chance with y/n as himself, Peter begins approaching them as Spider-Man.
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Two months. 
That was how long it had been since Peter first indulged in his ridiculous idea of talking to you under the guise of Spider-Man. Of course he hadn’t meant for it to last this long, promising himself that it was just to help him build his confidence–maybe even learn a bit about what kind of things you liked–so that he could actually ask you out as himself. Unfortunately, though, things hadn’t gone quite as he had planned. 
Spider-Man offered him a type of courage that he just wasn’t able to muster as Peter Parker. Under the cover of his mask he was able to come across as easy-going and flirtatious, never failing to leave your cheeks a deep crimson from the playful banter. Yet, when he did manage to speak to you as plain ole’ Peter, all of that was suddenly lost on him, leaving him a complete and total bumbling mess. As far as he was concerned, Peter Parker had no chance to be what any girl wanted, especially you. But Spider-Man was a different story.
And so he continued to exploit Spider-Man, using the masked hero as a means to continue getting closer to you, pretending to be oblivious to the fact that he wouldn’t be able to hide behind his secret identity forever. To be fair, he would rationalize to himself, Spider-Man had taken a lot from him, it was only fair that he got something in return. 
Plus, the interactions had been mostly innocent. Or at least that’s what he kept telling himself, opting to ignore the many times that coy attitudes began to border on actual sexual attraction. He tried not to think about those times (though there had been many nights where he purposely let those interactions slip into his mind, reliving them from the privacy of his bedroom), instead just promising himself that he wouldn’t let his romantic escapades as Spidey go too far. 
“So,” your voice filled his ears, his heart skipping a few beats at the sound, “at what point should I start to wonder if you’re stalking me?” 
Peter chuckled at the question, his fingers gripping the railing of the balcony to your apartment, effortlessly hanging from it. “Do you feel like I’m stalking you?” 
“Hm,” you placed a finger against your chin, pretending to be deep in thought, evoking even more laughter from the boy. “Maybe a bit.” 
“Oh yeah? What did I do to give that impression?” 
“Well, to be fair, you’re currently dangling a couple hundred feet in the air off the side of my balcony.” You told him matter-of-factly, gesturing to where he was still hanging from the railing. 
His brows furrowed beneath his mask, an expression that was barely noticeable due to the fabric covering his face. “And that makes me a stalker? I thought you’d find it romantic, a sort of Romeo-and-Juliet moment.” 
“Romeo threw pebbles at her window, he didn’t scale an entire apartment building dressed in spandex.” You reminded him, “But, actually, it’s more so that I don’t remember ever giving you my address.” 
Peter froze for a moment, having not thought about the fact that your previous run-ins with Spider-Man had always been in public spaces–catching you after work or just happening to bump into you on the street while patrolling–never at your home. He only knew where you lived because you had told him, but as Peter Parker, not Spider-Man, when the two of you were assigned to a project together last week. He mentally face-palmed at his own ignorance. 
“Superheroes keep up with where all the pretty girls live. One of the lesser-known parts of the job.” He quipped, hoping that flattery would keep you from thinking too much into it. You only rolled your eyes at the comment, luckily not pressing any further. 
“So what did I do to deserve a surprise Spidey visit this time?” You hummed, leaning back against the cold brick of your apartment building.  
Peter hoisted himself over the edge of the balcony so that he was standing across from you, his arms finally beginning to ache from holding up his bodyweight for so long. “What, I’ve gotta have a reason to stop by and see my favorite civilian?” 
“Civilian?” You snorted. “And here I was thinking you and I were friends.” 
He dramatically placed his hands on either side of his face, feigning shock at your words, “Oh God no! You and me? Friends?” he let his hands fall to his waist, an exaggerated breath leaving his mouth, “No, not at all. I think that would be a conflict of interest.” 
You cocked a brow at him, “How so?” 
“I mean–I just think it would really interfere with our whole superhero slash damsel-in-distress routine, ya know?” 
“Damsel-in-distress?” You gasped incredulously at the claim, though the corners of your mouth were still quirked up in a smile. 
Peter nodded, “Uh, yeah. That’s literally our whole thing, isn’t it? You constantly running into trouble, me swinging in and saving your life.” 
“You haven’t had to save my life once Spider-Boy.” Peter scoffed at the name, acting like he was insulted. 
“Oh c’mon!” Peter dragged the word out, practically whining as he took a fraction of a step towards you, the movement enough to leave only a few inches between the both of you due to how small the balcony was. “You are literally always getting yourself into danger.” 
“Okay,” You crossed your arms over your chest, craning your neck so that you could actually look up at him, the masked vigilante having several inches on you, “give me an example then.” 
Peter rolled his eyes, a gesture only evident by the dramatic way his head moved along with them. He reached a gloved hand to your face, letting his fingertip gently brush against the semi-healed cut along your forehead. “You literally got this by tripping over your own shoes and banging your head against the counter at a coffee shop. Not to mention the fact that you spilled your entire coffee on yourself in the process.” He trailed away from the cut, moving to brush a stray hair behind your ear. He didn’t take his hand away, though, letting it rest against the side of your face. “You are always in danger because you are the danger.” 
Your eyes widened for a moment, so quick that he didn’t even notice the reaction. He was right, you had done that, an unfortunate consequence of being the clumsiest person alive. But, still, his words left you confused; remaining silent for just a moment as you turned them over in your head. When you finally opened your mouth to speak you were cut off by the sound of distant sirens, a groan immediately coming from him, knowing that your interaction would now be cut short. 
His thumb brushed against your cheek, acting as an unnecessary silent apology. 
“Sounds like somebody needs Spider-Man.” You told him as he let his hand fall from your skin, forcing himself to the railing. If he didn’t go now, he wouldn’t leave at all. “You better hurry, it could be one of those pretty girls you keep tabs on.” You shot a teasing grin in his direction, referencing his earlier comment. 
“Ugh, they just never give me a day off.” He joked, swinging his feet over the balcony railing before gripping onto it and allowing himself to once again hang from it. “Try not to trip into anything dangerous until I’m back.” 
He turned his head and reached one hand out, likely to shoot a web at the building across from yours, but hesitated when he heard you speak again, a sudden panic filling his body at your words, “Be safe, Parker.” 
The sirens continued blaring, growing closer with each second, but all he could hear was the sound of his own heart wildly thumping against his chest. “What?” He sounded completely dumbfounded, his head slowly turning back to look at you, only to find you standing with your own finger pointing to the cut he had traced on your forehead, a wide grin on your face. 
“Spider-Man wasn’t there the day that I fell.” You shot a knowing glance in his direction, one that had his cheeks heating up. He had never been more thankful to be wearing a mask, aware that his face was likely beet red. “I asked Peter to meet me there so I could borrow his biology notes.” 
Peter didn’t speak, too stunned by his own stupidity for slipping up and not thinking about how he was there that day as himself, not Spider-Man. This time you were the one to take a step forward and close the gap between you, having to lean down just a bit in order to be face-to-face as he dangled from the railing. 
“You’re a lot more confident in the suit.” You mused, your hands finding the base of his mask, lightly tugging the material up to reveal his face. Even though it was dark out you could still see that he was blushing. “But I prefer you without it.” 
His jaw fell slack, words getting caught in his throat as a million thoughts raced through his mind, though one thought in particular was a lot louder than the rest: I prefer you without it. 
“You should definitely go.” The sirens were now close enough that you could actually see the faint red-and-blue lights a few streets over. He looked in the direction of them but still didn’t make a single move to leave. You seemed to recognize his hesitation, tugging the mask back down over his face. “If you ever remember how to talk then you can come back when you’re done. But ditch the mask.” 
Peter nodded at your words, his eyes remaining glued to you as you straightened back up, turning your back to him to go back inside your apartment–leaving him to go off and be a hero. Once you were inside he couldn’t help but laugh, shaking his head as he forced himself to get into motion, swinging in the direction of the police lights. 
Turns out Peter Parker did have a chance.
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