#CARTMAN is the one to make it a big gay speech

[victimized-martyr]

44 + 45 for the ask game :]

44.Who would confess their love first?

I have no idea, because both of them would be absolutely terrified that the other would have that knowledge. It’s really a matter of who lets it slip and freaks the fuck out afterwards.

With Kyle, it’s entirely possible that Cartman’s playing the long game (what that game is, he isn’t sure) and accounted for Kyle’s inevitable speech of love and commitment and other gay things. Kyle can't risk that. Playing directly into Cartman’s hands is dangerous. Cartman’s taken advantage of Kyle’s vulnerability towards him before… who’s to say he’s not taking advantage of it now? He could be distracting him with fun dates and gifts while something far more sinister is happening behind his back. Also… Kyle may feel strongly for Cartman, but why on earth would he feel the same way? He can sway crowds and make friends easily. Cartman’s tastes are like himself—loud, extravagant, his ambitions are grand. Kyle isn’t any of those things… there’s no way that he simply likes Kyle for who he is.

With Cartman, it’s a lot more complicated. Yeah, he loves Kyle, but that’s because he was tricked into liking him and no one else. What a genius plan on Kyle’s end—Cartman’s wrapped around his dick, has no choice but to succumb, eventually forced to confess his love only to be publicly rejected and humiliated! That’s his plan isn’t it? to make everyone think he’s no longer cool? To make it so that no one else will ever be enough for him, leaving him wanting and miserable for the rest of his life? Cartman’s already in too deep—Kyle won in that regard, but he won’t let him have the satisfaction of knowing just how gone he is. Kyle’s niceness might go away at any moment. He could suddenly stop being the best boyfriend ever and start call him fat and a piece of shit like he used to (which is totally not true. Cartman is awesome and buff). Maybe Kyle won't change his mind if Cartman starts wearing nicer shirts around him... Maybe if he asks Sheila more about their faith or something.... Yeah... Kyle won't leave him. Kyle CANT leave him.

aww shit i made myself sad :(( But honestly? It slips at a very inopportune moment, they freak out, the world falls apart and gets put back together, because their feelings for each other (whether those feelings are love or hate) have been reciprocal as far back as when they were kids and they can’t pinpoint when or how the FUCK they ended up like this, but goddamnit they don’t have eyes for anyone else and they’re gonna make it everyone else’s problem.

45.Who gets most excited about holidays? e.g. Christmas

Cartman! And he goes all out for decorations. Kyle notices he overdoes it for jewish holidays— overcompensation, it’s obvious. if Kyle doesn’t tug on the leash, Cartman WILL steal power from the entire town towards whatever the fuck he’s planned for that holiday. (think Holiday Lampoon levels of going all out)

[wrongeddeadthenevermourned]

Random Obscure Facts: Butters

He likes to build toy car models.

Likes to sing.

Has a speech impediment.

Attention seeker.

Likes Hello Kitty.

Apologies, even when it's not his fault.

Possibly the youngest, or one of the youngest members of his age group.

Crossdresses.

Was made to dress up like the deceased Kenny, at times, and pretend to be him, which he disliked.

Thinks Lord of The Rings is a porno because some left porno dvds in the cases instead of the actual movies.

Effeminate.

Kooky.

Needs to be put in solitary confinement so he won't wreak havoc.

His mother tried to kill him by driving the car he was in with her into water.

Likes to Dance

Sank and ocean liner with a golf ball.

See's right through some of Cartman and the others plots, and steals credit for their successes or attempts to use him as a scapegoat, making profit off it for himself in the end.

Has a scar where he was hit with a ninja star.

Has Anger Issues.

Is often not taken seriously or ignored.

Has Crohn's disease/Other stomach/etc.

Pee's lifting shirt up nearly all the way, and dropping his pants down all the way…

Socially Awkward

Can be easy to manipulate and intimidate, making him better to get to do things he otherwise wouldn't, and doesn't want to do.

Likes art.

Burned down the school gym.

Helpful to others

Uses exclamations.

Bad with rejection.

Very Literal minded.

Pure of Heart.

If he has a projectile or something that can be, he seems to always hit people in the dick, or there about.

Became a pimp accidentally in grade-school by charging people to kiss.

Is often made the scapegoat to the other characters misbehavior.

Seen as the most immature of the kids.

Led a Mexican revolution.

Wakes up to the sounds of his own screaming.

Walked into a gay bathhouse while following his father for their mother to tell her what his father was going to get him for their anniversary...

Has a popular book.

A voice of reason.

Meek.

Hyperactive.

Is good with numbers.

Has meltdowns when pushed 'too far'.

Recreated Imaginationland from scratch.

Had a crush on Kim Kardashian as a child.

He is always called by his nickname, no exceptions: Butters.

Is always friendly and kind, no matter how old he gets, but still twisted in a way at times.

He's afraid of blood.

Prone to believe just about anything he's told.

Accidentally killed a bunch of people while tap dancing/ committed manslaughter.

Good with computers.

Punched his dad in the balls.

Probably loves Jesus/Is Religious.

Minces words/oaths.

Cartman once trapped him in a refrigerator.

Often taken off the shelf to be used, and put back on it when everyone gets their favorites attention again.

Is nice and helpful, even to people he doesn't like or doesn't like him or have caused him pain in some way, officially making probably one of, if not the nicest character of the whole show, usually.

Was sent to a conversion camp...

Geeky.

Most attempts to harm or kill him, usually by Cartman, fail, and Butters fingers his way out of it okay in the end, usually.

Appears to be straight most of the time, but is probably bisexual. Certainly bi-curious.

Often was made to do illegal, dangerous, or adult themed activities by the others, to make him more like them, or be more grown up.

Verbally destroyed his abusive grandmother.

Eccentric.

Has a big dick, the biggest/and possibly still so, out of the whole group... and that's all I'm going to say on that.

Blackmailed Cartman.

Book smart.

The Moral Compass.

Was always grounded, often for no reason, or absolute absurd reasons.

Good businessman.

Rubs his knuckles together.

Kinda might be a massive pervert, but not invasive or uncomfortably so...

The Most Innocent.

Held Cartman's hand through a hostage situation because he as ordered to, and dragged Cartmen onto a bus before finally letting go.

Clyde is attracted to him, especially when he crosses dresses, Bradley is also attracted to him.

Strong willed.

Kenny thinks of him as his favorite friend.

Kind of a coward, and usually wont stand up for himself.

Acts uncharacteristically when things are really bad.

Can't understand sarcasm very well.

Was once misdiagnosed as having Dissociative Identity Disorder, because of his playing different characters during his personal games...

Sometimes he seems like a genius, other times he certainly not at all.

Has a southern sounding accent.

At times he speaks improperly.

Has hit a girl, when he was a child.

Roman Catholic

Does graphitti

Was a boy scout in Troop 69.

Becomes more cold when his hair is shaved.

Joined a cult.

Likes cut up hotdogs.

Clyde and Craig beat him up.

Craig stole some rubber bands from the others, and Butters got blamed for it.

Six in scar on left side of stomach.

Chinpokomon

Has a teddy bear.

Named all the baby cows he helped to steal.

Knows about rifle handling.

Fired from being friends with Cartmen, Kyle, and Stan.

Stood in lunch lines for people.

Bought tampons for people.

Knows how to use a sewing machine.

Used to throw rocks at cars with the others, who, when the drivers became angry, would then blame it all on Butters.

Knows Mongolian.

His parents confused him for a grown ass adult Mongolian.

Tutored kids after school.

"Studying is the golden key to the imposing door of success."

Went to Jimmy's performance, when everyone else bailed, because he said he would.

"Our Butters"

Got bullied for not kissing a girl.

Wants a Harley Motorcycle.

Also see here.

[ladyfeldspar]

By the power vested in me by my RNG, I give you...

6x09: Free Hat (aka the reason I broke the second disc of Season 6)

This is hella long, sorry not sorry.

Some days I think season 6 is my favorite season.

Tweek standing behind the other three at the SP sign will never cease to make me happy. <3

I hate ET because I think he's a creepyass little alien and I don't appreciate seeing him first thing in this episode. 😂

Okay but I love when Kyle's saying, "...to make ET more PC," he's doing little air quotes with his one hand, like:

Stan: "That's gay." Back when saying things like that was only mildly offensive and wouldn't cause riots.

I've never seen Saving Private Ryan, and I know that it's said that it can be really triggering for people who have actually been to war and everything and I don't want to diminish that in any way, but whatever I paused on here looks like some kind of nether realm squid ghost monster and it's amazing.

I love the progression of their expressions here: angry, unimpressed, concerned, and "why is this happening?!"

And they're all so excited for Star Wars, that's the cutest fricking thing! I would love to see Tweek and Craig watching Star Wars together, just try and tell me that wouldn't be adorable!

ALL OF THEM ARE SO MAD! I fucking love when Tweek gets the little angry eyebrows.

I will never ever not want to hug him whenever I see Tweek shiver like crazy while the other kids just stand perfectly still.

The message in this episode is actually so good though. "Movies are art and art shouldn't be messed with!"

"Yeah we could form a club that takes food stamps from poor people and then we could sell them back to the government for a profit!" Tweek’s face here is priceless.

Poor Tweek. There's kind of a pattern in these episodes where multiple times he tries to stand up for himself or walk away from the main kids, but Cartman bullies him into staying and it just breaks my heart. As opposed to Craig in the Pandemics who's just like, "Fuck this." And as much as I adore all of the S6 Tweek episodes, I'm really glad he didn't stay hanging out with them for any longer and that he went back to the group of guys that are actually his friends. <3

"I'm not, I'm not a team player!" 😭 That being said, I could listen to Tweek talk all day.

"You have to offer fabulous prizes if you want people to show up to your stupid crap!" is just the S6 version of, "More people will come if they think we'll have punch and pie!" 😂

Stan: "Tweek, you go make fifty hats." Look, okay, I don't hate Stan, all right, but what the hell dude, go make your own hats! Why would you give the anxious kid a big responsibility like that!? At least have Kyle help him or something. Like you say you need to get the gymnasium ready which means what, make a banner and set up some chairs? And you're telling me you couldn't have split up the making of the hats? Jesus Christ.

(Yeah, okay, I know, chill out, they're 8.)

I posted this on my Tumblr before, so I'm not going to do it again, but that TINY LITTLE SHRIEK THAT TWEEK DOES after his dad says his name. I just. Literally. Die. Of cuteness. Every single time. It's my favorite Tweek shriek of the entire show, hands down.

On another note, his bedroom is so empty in this episode compared to in Tweek x Craig! I wonder what changed between here and then.

Tweek being able to calm himself down with some meditation is honestly so cute. And look at his happy place! I would love to have this on a shirt or a bag or just like as a piece of art hanging on my wall or something.

Cartman's giant face showing up there. 😂 I remember the first time I saw this episode that actually startled me so much.

"I was up, all night, making hats! I only slept for an hour- and then I DREAMT about making hats! But I only made fifteen!" - This has been one of my favorite lines since forever. I make it my status on things a lot and then everyone asks me why I was making hats all night. 😂

I love Stan's expression here.

"I don't have nearly 1000 hats!" "They're gonna kick your ass, Tweek!" 😡😡😡

Look at this shot! It really looks like Stan is the only one remotely concerned about Tweek's well-being here.

We get so much of Tweek yanking on his hair in this episode. </3

How am I less than five minutes into this and I have talked this much?

The townspeople are literally so stupid. Good job, Skeeter.

Stan makes good speeches when he wants to. Although, you know, you shouldn't make promises without fully knowing what you're doing.

Only Tweek would think going on a TV show is terrible news. (Just kidding. I agree with you, Tweek.)

I've never understood the "1-2-3, dibs!! "Knee!" thing. Like I know what dibs is, but where I come from knees were never involved.

Typical Cartman. I feel so bad for Tweek, but I love when he looks down to see "Advocate of Toddler Murder" underneath him. Cartoon logic is the best logic.

There's also a lot of good Tweek shrieks here too.

"It's easy!?" "Yes... It is easy."

"We believe that films have to be taken away from people like Steven Spielberg and George Lucas because they're insane." The way Kyle matter-of-factly delivers this line kills me every time.

They honestly made SS and GL look so creepy. 😂

I like that Cartman's voice kind of cracks when he's like, "That's Steven Spielberg and George Lucas!"

Someone just let Tweek go home, please!

"Uh, we thought we were speaking for the children." "Yeah, we're children."

"I'm not a Jew!" 😂 Thank you, George Lucas.

Okay, full disclosure, when I first saw this I hadn't seen Raiders of the Lost Ark and I didn't get the big deal. 😂 But I do now!!!

"He...killed 23 babies in self-defense?" "Hat was attacked maliciously and unprovoked by a gang of babies in West Town Park. When that many babies get together they can be like pirahna!" 😂 I say this all the time.

Skeeter. 😂 Honestly, you are no help at ALL.

Second time this episode Tweek tries to say no and walk away.

"People aren't that into you, Tweek. They find you kind of annoying." This is so meta because I remember people complaining all the time that Tweek was a one-note character and that he had nothing really to add to the show and I just want to say SUCK IT TO ALL THOSE PEOPLE BECAUSE LOOK HOW LOVED TWEEK IS NOW. Everyone who was on board the Tweek train from the very beginning say, "Cupcakes!" 😂<3

These kids, man. I love that it’s so easy for them to just get into all these places.

"Get it, Tweek!" "Huh-uh!" I love the way Tweek says no. But, I mean, AGAIN, he tries to say no and Cartman bullies him. I don't think he ever really wanted to be in their group in the first place. I think they picked him arbitrarily in Professor Chaos because they saw him as weaker than them, and then Cartman just didn't let him quit.

The little debate about melting his icy heart with a cool island song is also something I quote often. AND THEIR LITTLE OUTFITS! I love that Tweek's is green and pink! I don't know what the hell is going on with the sleeves on everyone else's though.

"Those rams can do to us what they will, Mr. Lucas." 😂

Oh, George Lucas. You were so close to being a hero.

Stan: "Fuck you Steven Spielberg!" I've watched this censored so many times that hearing it uncensored is so fricking satisfying.

RUN TWEEK RUN!!!

The walkie talkies are such a nice touch. 😂

"The one with the cocaine problem escaped, Mein Director."

Mannn, I miss when they used to throw live action "commercials" into the episodes like this. This also is from the time where I was like hella attracted to Trey Parker so seeing his face is always welcome. 😂

"We always meant to have Imperial Walkers and giant Dewback lizards in the background, but simply couldn’t afford it."

Oh my God, I'm always so proud of Tweek for talking to this huge crowd of people and trying to get them to help him! His little talking through his teeth, like, "We are not talking about Hat right now, okay?!" He's trying so hard!

"Oh God, I'm gonna have to do this myself! Oh, God!" just breaks my heart! YOU CAN DO IT, TWEEK! 13 seasons from now you'll have someone who helps you believe in yourself, just hang on!

Tweek with the bazooka, oh my gosh, always makes me so happy. I can't tell you how much I wanted him to just blow them all the fuck up the first time I saw this.

"All I want are my friends. Except for Cartman, you can keep him." YEAH, TWEEK!

I hate that Steven Asshole Spielberg manages to talk enough crap to make Tweek hesitate. He was so close! I wonder how he would have felt if he actually did it though, Maybe it's better he didn't? It might have made his anxiety worse if he actually blew people up now that I think about it.

"In the tropical isles with the coconut trees, the air is fresh and the people are free, but here in the mountains there's no freedom like that, there's a man in prison and his name is Hat!" This gets stuck in my head so often.

It makes it so much better having actually seen Raiders, especially for this part. I honestly thought the melting faces was just a South Park thing but nope.

I also really love what they look like turned away with their eyes closed too. <3

Like what even is going on in this scene. 😂

Oh my God, okay, and I know that Hat is a terrible person and I want to clarify just in case, I do not think killing babies is funny, but just the way that baby crawls up the person's arm to avoid getting passed to Hat is always so so funny to me and I can never explain why.

Tweek being the only one to be appropriately horrified by the fact that Hat is being given a baby.

"Sometimes the things we do don't matter right now. Sometimes they matter later. We have to care more about later sometimes, you know? I think that's what separates us from the Steven Spielbergs and George Lucases of the world." This is still so relevant.

The ending of this episode is also so much better after actually seeing Raiders. 😂

And we close off with a 9/11 joke. Perfection, Matt and Trey, thank you & goodnight.

[hhhhammy]

Balance issues

Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Boat Ride shows up in 1997, and while it’s definitely aged, at the time it’s a sympathetic and not unrealistic portrayal of a gay dude.  He’s not perfect but it’s fine.  We get a few other portrayals, including Satan, who yeah is Satan but is sympathetic, his boyfriend Chris, a few mentions here and there.  So when Mr. Garrison is embodying every negative shitty thing said about gay dudes and Death Camp of Tolerance rolls around, and it’s pointed out that hey we’re not criticizing gay people, we’re criticizing A Gay Person, and this is HIS shitty behavior, it actually works!  We know that’s the message, because there’s non-shitty gays in the show and we’ve seen them and the nuance makes sense because there’s context.

We’re given a range of gay characters, good to neutral to bad, so when they want to make a point about a particular part of the gay experience or how The Gays interact in society, it’s very easy to do so, because there’s a wide range of characters and the world feels bigger and wider than that one “Bad” Character’s behavior.

So far, trans characters in the show are:

Mr. Garrison, who is just the most garbage human being

The entire nightmare scenario involving the Mrs. Garrison episode, including “trans dolphin Gerald”

Cartman, wanting to sneak into a bathroom

Wendy, wanting to fuck up Cartman’s plan

Randy, also a shit human, also wanting to sneak into bathrooms

Caitlyn Jenner, whose trans identity is never questioned or judged by the show but is otherwise shown as a garbage human being.

Randy Savage, wearing a ballsack thong

So yeah the idea that people need to watch the episode with nuance absolutely have a point but the show hasn’t bothered to establish any kind of context in which that nuance is possible, because the overall context of the show is trans characters are either faking it for personal gain or just genuinely shitty people.  The show wants to make a nuanced point while still going “of course like, you know, trans people are fine” without putting any of the narrative work into making people believe that.  And if you think that point should be obvious, don’t ever go on twitter, because people there are PSYCHED that south park is “making fun of the trans now again”.  And it’s a fairly easy solution to just have any random average trans character be like “hey that dude is a dick” and actually present some context.  It just requires thought.

 (Sidenote: I’m NOT advocating for perfect paragons of representation, here, either, just normal, average characters to widen the boundaries of the world.  The bar lesbians from the 300 episode are some of my favorites because they’re just so normal and the whole joke and plot works without being ABOUT their lesbianism except as a social group)

Anyway I got their point but the execution wasn’t great, tbh I miss Kyle’s dumb little speeches because the amount of ways people misread when the show can’t execute super well is just.  Hurrgghhh.

[rabtownsend]

CW for some slurs, and general small-town casual prejudices

sub-tumbling (is that a thing?) this post I just saw claiming that shows like Family Guy and South Park are directly responsible for eroding empathy and instilling alt-right belief structures in young people.

Here’s what I think about that. I’m a leftist. Definitely a socialist. Would not necessarily describe myself as radical. Am a feminist. Am anti-fascist. Am anti-capitalist. Hate libertarianism. Do support trans rights. Do support sex-workers’ rights. And I do have complicated, sometimes contradictory feelings about a lot of things in between any one of those subjects and belief structures.

I can attribute a lot of that to my upbringing, sure. My parents were both Canadian Liberals. Both teachers.

Maybe my mistake - before I even begin - is that when I was young, and I saw the other kids in my small, conservative town calling other kids “stupid jews” and “faggot” - I never had the sense that they actually hated jews or homosexuals. Rather, they had just found some new way to call someone (who, statistically speaking, was probably not jewish or gay) an idiot, in a non-sincere way.

I didn’t see them as being truly hateful toward anyone, just ignorant. And certainly I was bothered that they were so ignorant about the meaning and connotations of those terms. And I was bothered because when I’d asked my father what words like those meant, he had explained how they were used to hurt other people.

So, that was already the context I had before South Park premiered in 1996, when I was 10 years old.

I was not allowed to watch it until I was 12, and only then because my friend Leo watched it (presumably, his dad had watched it, and told my mother it was okay).

But very specifically, the thing about South Park is that the show was always punching up. And here, I have to make a distinction between the show and its characters. The characters you are supposed to identify with, are Stan and Kyle. They are the straight men. So when a character like Eric Cartman - who represents all of the kids I grew up with who called other kids “faggot” or made fun of them for superficial reasons, without truly knowing or understanding the origin or consequence of their words - calls Kyle a stupid jew, you are supposed to be outraged with Kyle, not thinking “this Cartman character is hilarious, and I should behave like him.”

And obviously, a lot of kids I knew, as I went on to high school, had taken Cartman as the role model, rather than the bad example.

Let’s talk about Family Guy for a minute. I have thought episodes of Family Guy were funny. But as it came out a bit later, when I was a bit older, I was more able to see it for what it was (and is still) - a platform for Seth MacFarlane to shit-disturb, and champion what my friends over on Mastodon have amusingly rephrased as “freeze peach,” free speech without consequences.

In Family Guy, Peter Griffin is supposed to be the Cartman character.

Wait, let’s scoot back a second. Both characters are supposed to be the Archie Bunker character. The character you love to hate. The character who says inappropriate things, while the good, but less developed characters react with outrage. You’re not supposed to sympathize with them, but some people - people who still believe what a character portrayed as an idiot/out-of-touch curmudgeon seems to believe - will think they are being catered to.

So, Peter is supposed to be that. Only there are no straight-men on Family Guy - except Lois and Meg. The two women on the show who are physically beaten on screen or constantly verbally abused by the male characters on the show. Punishing them for being straight-man characters, on the rare occasion that they are that. Not to mention that the humour in Family Guy is almost never situational. It is almost always a cut-away joke - a thing which South Park rightly criticizes it for, in the Cartoon Wars episodes.

And knowing that South Park’s use of Cartman as an Archie Bunker type has been misinterpreted, for whatever reason, why have I stuck with it for so long?

At the heart of South Park is satire. Like, real satire, not the “satire” that alt-righters claim to use.

The parents on the show are shown as largely incompetent and driven by impulse/fear. The boys are, by contrast, progressive and wise. Cartman’s offensive behaviour has consequences for him, in ways that Family Guy characters never face consequences. For every scheme he enacts, he is thwarted, either by one of the other boys, or his own folly (in a Seinfeld-esque kind of way). Characters he offends on the show are quick to make him face consequences.

And, unlike Family Guy, South Park’s political leanings are more anarchist than libertarian. While Family Guy’s creators would champion free speech in the name of a racist joke, South Park only champions free speech in the name of valid criticism or in the service of making a moral point.

The underlying theme of many South Park episodes is to think for yourself, or that blindly following authority or acting out of fear is foolish, and has negative consequences.

Stereotypes are used and sometimes stretched to ridiculous proportions on South Park, as a means of demonstrating how stupid and ridiculous it is that we believe or rely on those stereotypes in media.

I won’t say that South Park hasn’t made missteps, but I find it hard to believe that it could train anyone to be anything but a critical thinker with anticapitalist, leftist leanings.

As always, a great deal of media is made with one intention, and misappropriated by ignorant people, who don’t fully comprehend that they are seeing something critical of a certain way of thinking, because comprehending that requires the capacity for abstract thought, which the ignorant, typically, lack.

I could see how Family Guy might encourage alt-right beliefs in young people, because it is edge-lordy, and it champions free speech over good conscience. I don’t know that I’d place the onus on the show so much as on the viewers for failing to make a more discerning choice. After all, one of the most popular shows on television: The Big Bang Theory, routinely mocks higher education, interest in niche subjects, makes a joke out of sexual harassment, and plays with misogyny. And it was propped up by a laugh track it didn’t deserve. The majority of Americans decided it was their favourite show. Far more so than Family Guy or South Park, and definitely since at least the mid 2000s.

I dunno, guys. This just feels like another “video games cause violence” argument, from people who don’t play videogames.

You know what I don’t think? I don’t think eating squid causes peritonitis. I’ve never eaten it. I have no reason to believe that it would cause peritonitis. But I sure don’t like the idea of eating squid, so it sure would be helpful to pretend that I don’t eat it because it might cause peritonitis. If only I were willing to live that kind of lie...

[ninawritesastory]

Au where tweek is a farm kid :D

Anon I need you to get out of my head because I’ve been toying with a farmboy!Tweek AU for months now.

Like, in the AU, the Tweaks get caught lacing their coffee with meth really early on. And since I headcanon that the Tweaks moved to South Park when Tweek was five or six years old, I kind of set the AU to some point before that. So, Tweek ends up with a foster family and never moves to South Park until much, much later. (When he’s nine or ten.) His foster parents operate a small family farm/homestead operation, and Tweek ends up really getting into the whole plant and animal husbandry thing.

At first, he absolutely hates the smell of the barn. His foster siblings love it, because they grew up with it, but Tweek thinks its acrid and smells literally like shit. But over the course of a few months, he ends up going a bit nose blind to it and even starts to like it as he starts to associate the stink with his new family and the more positive aspects of his new life. He discovers that mucking out the stalls is actually kind of therapeutic: he can scrap it, pitch it, and take out some of his frustrations on it and no one’s gonna complain.

Tweek eventually develops a very antagonist relationship with one of the milk cows. Her name is Satin, but he calls her Satan and she takes every opportunity to make his life difficult. She settle into her nice, clean, freshly bedded stall, look him straight in the eye, and take a massive shit right in the middle of his perfectly done pack. When he has to tie her up for any reason, she loves to smash him into the wall or the bars. She’s stepped on both of his feet within the first six months. She’ll follow him around the pen and ram her head against his backside if she was kept in for the day. She’ll shit in the water bucket if she knows he’s the one who cleaned it. When Tweek has to lead her anywhere, she either digs in her hooves and he has to drag her or she’ll practically run him over.

The real irony of it all is she actually treats him the nicest out of everyone in the family. If he’s not careful, she’ll start licking his hair or his clothes like he’s some sort of kitten. So Tweek’s the one who always ends up having to deal with her. His favorite cow is a massive Holstein named Violet. She’s a huge sweetheart who loves getting head and neck rubs, and she’s shoved Satin for bullying Tweek a time or two.

 But where Tweek really shines is in the gardens. His foster mother has a real strong green thumb, and she’s a strong believer in garden therapy. She teaches him everything about virtually every kind of plant. After his first planting season/spring with this family, Tweek knows what plants grow best together, the most effective ways to keep plants like raspberry bushes and mint from wrecking havoc and unleashing all-out-war on their neighbors, the meanings of almost 100 different flowers, and how to trim the fruit trees to keep them free of disease. When time comes to harvest, his foster mom shows him how to make jams and jellies, how to preserve and can fruits and vegetables, and all the different sorts of homemade salves and remedies he can make from the herbs and the other plants.

His foster father teaches him how to keep the machinery in good repair, and Tweek comes to have a grudging acceptance of the scent of motor oil, diesel, and sweat. He’s also taught how to drive the equipment, and how to till and sow the crop fields. He learns all about crop rotation, the best crops to plant after something else,  and how to properly irrigate the fields.

There are some aspects of farmlife he never quite gets the hang of: sending any of the animals to slaughter (he cried for weeks when they had to send off a sweet Freemartin Holstein (freemartin = female calf born as a twin to a bull; they almost never develop reproductive organs or potential) and he threw up when they had to slaughter one of the meat rabbits), the absolute miserable mugginess of the barn in summer, and pervasive paranoia that he smells like manure even after a twenty-minute shower. But he adjusts just fine, otherwise, and he’s never asked to do anything he’s not comfortable doing.

(Click through the readmore for how I see Creek playing out in this AU.)

At some point, they end up moving the farm to Colorado, and Tweek ends up in South Park. Because somethings are universal constants, and one of them is Tweek ending up in Craig Tucker’s life. By this point, Tweek’s kind of developed a thing for plaid. Sometimes he’ll come to school with soaking wet hair because he ends up face-planting in the slop during morning chores. Some days he’ll show up with bits of hay and straw in his hair and clothes. But he always smells like fresh air. He’s not as twitchy as canon Tweek, because he doesn’t have the meth or the coffee worsening his symptoms, and he’s actually on proper medication. But sometimes he’ll have twitches and spasms he can’t control, so he still ends up catching Craig’s attention.

Tweek ends up largely responsible for his family’s stand at the farmers’ market. He’s had several years of practice, and he’s really good at handling the money and moving the products. He’s typically supervised by his grandmother, but it’s more of a formality than anything else. She usually just sits behind the stand and knits or crochets while Tweek handles the majority of the business. The Tuckers go to one of the markets, because Laura’s been curious about the new set up and Thomas thinks it might be a good excuse to get the kids out of the house and away from their screens.

Now, Tweek’s family is very good at the farmers’ market thing. They go all out on their display, they sell a wide range of products ranging from fresh and canned fruit and vegetables and other foodstuffs to flowers and bouquets to more crafty type goods, like handmade blankets and soaps. They’ve had years to hone their presentation, so their stand gets a lot of traffic. Craig takes one look at Tweek, decked out in a green plaid shirt and denim overalls with tiny baby kitten in the big breast pocket and he’s gone.

He ends up at Tweek’s stand, pretending he’s only there for the basket full of kittens (they’re so small and fluffy and their little tails are just cute little triangles) but he’s trying to sneak glimpses of this kid. Some of Tweek’s siblings show up to lighten the load as the traffic picks up, and Tweek ends up wandering over to coo over the kittens for a bit with Craig. They end up talking for way longer than Tweek’s self-allotted five minute break, and his stepsisters tease him a bit about the cute boy he spent nearly a whole hour talking to. Craig makes it all the way home before he realizes he’s still got the baby calico he and Tweek bonded over. After a small display of exasperation, Thomas and Laura decide to let Craig keep it. 

And it snowballs from there. Token invites Tweek to sit with them at lunch, Clyde invites him to join in on their weekly Friday video game night, Jimmy discovers Tweek has a meme sense of humor and is living. Craig gets caught staring by his friends more times than he’d ever want to admit.

Stan��s Gang still try to get Craig and Tweek to fight, but that whole endeavor ends with Tweek punching Cartman’s lights out after he tried to insinuate that Craig insulted Tweek’s raspberry jam. (Craig is allergic to raspberries and has therefore never tried it.) Craig has never been more gone for Tweek than in that moment.

The yaoi incident still takes place, but instead of Craig angrily trying to assert his (non-existent) heterosexuality, he’s more mortified because…yeah, he really, really, really likes Tweek, but he didn’t think he was so obvious about it that the whole fucking school had him figured out. Instead of a fake break up, Tweek goes to Craig first. And since Tweek’s a lot more stable and secure in himself than canon!Tweek, he manages to get Craig to confess about a few of his insecurities with coming out. Tweek offers him his support, and it kind of turns into a bit of an emotional moment that Thomas ends up overhearing. Not wanting to be the reason his son is unhappy or scared, Thomas still gives Craig the “I like gay Craig” speech. (Because that speech is critical to Craig’s development and you can pry it out of my cold, dead hands.)

When Craig tracks Tweek down, he’s in the farmers’ market. It’s still a very similar idea: Craig offers his hand, and after a moment, Tweek takes it. But this time, Craig’s blushing like crazy because he wants this so much, and it’s okay for him to want it; and Tweek’s smiling because he’s gotten to know Craig in such a short amount of time, but Craig already means so much to him and seeing him brave enough to give this a try makes his heart hurt in the nicest ways.

[scottiehateschili]

21 25 33

21. On a scale of 1-100, how gay is south park?Big Gay Al  was gay before Creek bitches seriously I dunno I’m rewatching the season and I have no answer for you The show is consisted of dumbasses/ jerks/ and a few gay people 25. Write a headcanon for one of the girls Wendy is not bitchy but protective of Kyle and goes to tell him she enjoyed his speeches. I’ve followed a Wendy blog talking about people making her a bitch in what I can only guess where Style fics and from what i remember Wendy never hated Kyle she even mentioned he was smart and a good dad in the egg episode. Like in Frozen, Wendy goes over to Eric and punches him in the face after Heidi breaks up with him , then the girls surround Heidi and take her for a real girls night out with Wendy apologizing for being rude to her and admitting she was a bitch too.  The other girls don’t so it just ends with Heidi x Wendy having dinner later.I don’t even ship em but i remember the Wendy actress wanting Wendy to call Eric out on his abusive behavior  . 33. Which SP character would be your SBF?Cartman i have lousy taste but I’ve mentioned before he’s my fav before Scott that’s just how its always been 

[reinmin]

Simple Things

Kyle: Have you ever stopped to think that, what you’re doing is wrong? Has it ever occurred to you that the person you’re making fun of might actually take what you say to heart and end up gone the next day? Did you ever think of that? Eric: What are you talking about, Kahl? I haven’t done anything wrong yet, but you guys have, but, I’m willing to look past that. We know who it was, and we know that it was your father who was doing all of this--making everyone hate us guys for something that one of the adults said. Kyle: I wasn’t talking about that... Eric: Then... What were you talking about? Kyle: Everything. Everything that you have done, everything, even with Heidi, with Scott, with... everything and everyone. All of it. Eric: ... Have I ever stopped to think what I was doing was wrong? Kyle: Yes. Eric: ... After it was done, yeah... I guess... I mean, I reflected a lot on the things I’ve done in the past. Things I... kind of regret now. Heidi Turner is one of them. I made her... Into something else. Kyle: You made her, into you. Eric: What? Kyle: You made her, you. She was the sweetest girl in the world, and you came around, and you tweaked her mind. You morphed her, you changed her, corrupted her even. At least she noticed what you were doing before it was too late. To the point she couldn’t go back. Eric: ... That--That’s what I’m like? Really? Kyle: Yes, you are just like that, the only difference is, she will put her plans into action. Eric: Why are you telling me this? Kyle: ... Eric: Kahl, why are you telling me this. Kyle: ... Eric: KYLE! Kyle: ...You... Just said my name properly. Eric: Why are you telling me all of this? Kyle: ... Eric: C’mon, dude. Kyle: ...I keep lying to myself, Cartman. I keep doing it, thinking that what I’m thinking and feeling are wrong--invalid. I tell myself one thing, and then say it to another. I told Stan that I hate you, with every fiber in my being, but yet...  Eric: But what, Kahl? Kyle: ...Yet...Yet I... I feel empty without you... (SILENCE) Kyle: I-I TAKE THAT BACK! Pretend you didn’t hear that and it was just you’re imagination! No.. that wouldn’t make sense, then you would hear it in some form... Eric: Kahl? Kyle: Maybe if I find something... a blunt weapon to knock you unconscious and somehow make you forget that this ever happened. Maybe then I could-- Eric: KYLE! Kyle: ... Eric: Do you mean that? Kyle: Mean what? Eric: Mean what you said, about... you know... feeling empty without me. Kyle... I-I don’t know! This is all confusing to me. My brain says “Be rational!” but my heart tells me another story... Eric: Your heart? Kyle... Ugh! This is just getting worse! Aren’t you suppose to rip on me or something?! Anything! Eric: You want me to rip on you? Kyle: YES! Eric: Why? Kyle: Because its a serious conversation and you rip on people when stuff like this comes up! You are meant to be an ass hole and yet here you are, standing there, listening to what I have to say and--oh sweet Moses, why must it be you? Eric: Kahl, you’re confusing me. Kyle: I’m confusing myself! Eric: Just... count to ten slowly, deep breaths. Just calm down, and tell me what’s going on in that big head of yours. Kyle: (Sighs) ... Who are you? Eric: What? Kyle: Who are you, really? Eric: I’m Eric Cartman, who else would I be? Kyle: ...Are you from the alternate universe? Eric: No. Kyle: ...I don’t believe you. Eric: You never do, Kahl, every bet we made, you never believe me. Not even when I told you I found a leprechaun. Kyle: And you were right... Eric: When have I been wrong, Kahl? Have I ever been wrong? Kyle: ... Eric: Kahl? Kyle: I’m thinking... (SILENCE) Kyle: Oh my god... Eric: Well? Kyle: I am not giving you the satisfaction. Eric: What? Kyle: I know what you’re planning, you’re going to try and get me to say or do something stupid, and then you’re going to rip on me for the rest of my life, and tell everyone about it. I know that’s what you were going to do. I will not give you even the smallest bit of-- Eric: Let me stop you right there, Kahl. I am not going to do anything. I haven’t done anything since... ever. I’m a better person now, I have matured. Is it that hard to think that, oh, I don’t know, that I would grow up one day? Why do you think I got rid of all my stuff toys? To grow up, why did you think I made this shirt? To grow up. Why do you think I went out with a girl like Heidi? To grow up. Why? Because you and Stan both said I needed to. So, look what I’m doing, Kahl. I am growing up. Kyle: ... Cartman... I-- Eric: Save it. You will just give me one of your gay speeches again saying that I’m a bad person and that what I’m doing now isn’t me, well, guess what, Kahl? Change happens, and we all change. Get with the program and tell me what’s on your mind before I get your gay boyfriend over here and tell him to kick your ass. Kyle: One, Stan and I are not a thing, we’re best friends and we’re staying that way, two, I wasn’t, I was going to apologize, and three, you’re right. I should accept change and what’s going on around me. Even you. Is it so bad that I actually liked the way you use to be? Is it so bad that I only did these things to keep you in check and out of trouble? Because no one else was going to do it, so why don’t I? Why? Because I can’t tell if I hate you or love you anymore. Eric: ...What did you just say? Kyle: Did I say something wrong? Eric: That... that last part, what did you say? Kyle: I said I can’t tell if I hate you or l-- Oh no. T-That wasn't suppose to-- Oh god, I was only thinking that, it must have slipped! Shit shit! Eric: Kahl... Kyle: I really done it now.... I’m going to be ripped on forever because of this. Eric: Kyle, listen to me for one minute! Kyle: ... Eric: Good... Uhm... Y-You love me? Kyle: .... I-I uhm... I--You’re--- Eric: Kyle? Kyle: Y-You’re a bit... close.... Eric: ... Oh? Does this? B-o-t-h-e-r you~? Kyle: Well... I-uhm... It... well... Ah... Eric: It does. In a good way. Kyle: HUH?! Eric: Because I have something to tell you. Dating Heidi? That was a final test. Kyle: A test? Eric: (Nods) A test for myself. Being with a girl was tiresome. Being so needy and bitchy all the time. I just couldn’t handle it. I thought if I went out with a girl, all these thoughts in my head would fade away, but, they haven’t. Because there has been someone on my mind ever since I left them. You. Kyle: (Blushes) Wha? Me?! What do you mean?! Eric: This is no trick, I swear to you. Kyle, will you do the honors of being my faggy boyfriend? (SILENCE) Kyle: ...I...don’t-- Eric: Just say yes. Kyle: Okay... -END-

[viralhottopics]

No joke: 6 times comedy changed the way we live

(CNN)There’s only one rule in comedy, most comedians will tell you. It must be funny.

But those on the listening end don’t always agree. Take what happened to comedic screen siren Mae West in 1926 after she dared to write and star in a Broadway play titled “Sex”: She was sentenced to 10 days in a woman’s workhouse and fined $500 on obscenity charges.

Of course, times change. Some 70 years later, there was so much “Sex” happening in the city that an entire television series was devoted to it.

As comedian Patton Oswalt puts it in CNN’s “The History of Comedy,” ” ‘Off limits’ is not a permanent address. You couldn’t say ‘pregnant’ on TV when Lucille Ball was pregnant on ‘I Love Lucy.’ So to anyone who says, ‘Well, it’s off limits’ … enjoy the next 10 minutes because that’s about as long as that’s going to last.”

Like mischievous children, comedians have long pushed boundaries to see what they can get away with. And if it weren’t for the Mae Wests of the world, we may never have had the cultural breakthroughs that led us to where we are today.

Here are six times when comedy broke barriers, shocked audiences and, in the process, changed the way we live.

1. Lenny Bruce convicted of ‘word crimes’

When: 1964

What happened: When Bruce came along in the 1950s, he stunned audiences with his unfiltered routines about drugs, race and religion. His material outraged the era’s moral crusaders, who banned Bruce from several cities and tried to shut down his act.

In 1964, undercover police secretly recorded Bruce performing at a New York club and arrested him on obscenity charges. At his trial, despite testimony on his behalf from Woody Allen, Bob Dylan and others, a Manhattan court convicted Bruce of “word crimes” and sentenced him to a workhouse. The verdict derailed Bruce’s career, and he died in 1966.

A famous line:

Why it matters: Can you imagine a world in which Louis C.K., Eddie Murphy or Margaret Cho would be arrested on obscenity charges for their stand-up? “Lenny opened the doors for the comics today,” George Carlin, another influencer on this list, told CNN in 1990. “He made it possible to think that someone could even be funny that way.”

2. George Carlin’s 7 dirty words

When: 1972

What happened: Carlin began doing a monologue in his stand-up act called “Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television.”

The words: sh*t, p*ss, f**k, c*nt, c**ksucker, motherf**ker and t*ts.

After Carlin did the bit onstage at a festival in Milwaukee, he was arrested and the monologue was played at his trial, drawing giggles in the courtroom (a judge tossed out the case). The next year, a man complained to the Federal Communications Commission that his young son had heard Carlin’s routine on the radio, sparking a dispute that went all the way to the US Supreme Court.

A famous line:

Why it matters: The Supreme Court ruled that Carlin’s joke was “indecent but not obscene,” upholding free speech while also giving federal authorities the power to restrict offensive broadcasts when children are likely to be watching or listening. Asked later about his profane style of comedy, Carlin said, “I like to find out where the line is drawn, and then drag the audience across the line with me and make them happier for the experience.”

3. Norman Lear’s sitcoms reinvent TV

When: Early 1970s

What happened: Lear broke the existing TV sitcom mold when he created “All in the Family.” The series, which revolved around the insult-spewing bigot Archie Bunker, tackled the sweeping changes of the era with such honesty that CBS ran an onscreen disclaimer before the first episodes.

By balancing comedy with thorny issues like racism, homosexuality, menopause and misogyny, “All in the Family” became the No. 1 show on TV and inspired several spinoffs, including “Maude.” That show broke ground of its own by airing a two-part 1972 episode about the main character’s decision to get an abortion.

A famous scene:

Why it matters: “TV only started to become socially relevant in the early 1970s,” said Robert J. Thompson, founding director of the Bleier Center for Television and Popular Culture at Syracuse University. “The norm before that was more likely to be talking horses and flying nuns.”

4. Richard Pryor gets provocative about race

When: Early-to-mid-1970s

What happened: While some comedians avoided joking about race, Pryor tackled the topic head-on in electric stand-up performances. Pryor wasn’t afraid to make whites feel uncomfortable by mocking racist behavior with thinly veiled anger, and he was one of the first comedians to make liberal use of the N-word.

Editor’s Note: The following video contains graphic language and content. Viewer discretion is advised.

“This one night I decided to make it my own,” he said of the racial slur. “I decided to take the sting out of it … as if saying it over and over again would numb me and everybody else to its wretchedness.”

A famous line:

Why it matters: Pryor inspired almost every black comic who followed him, including Eddie Murphy, Bernie Mac, Damon Wayans and Chris Rock. “Richard basically blazed a trail for black comedy. He defined what it is,” Wayans told The Washington Post in 1998. “As a young black man he was saying what he felt — and that was shocking.”

5. Ellen comes out

When: 1997

What happened: Two weeks after comedian Ellen DeGeneres came out as gay on the cover of Time magazine, her “Ellen” character came out in a two-part episode of the ABC sitcom (titled “The Puppy Episode” after the network’s suggestion that her seemingly asexual character get a puppy to boost slumping ratings).

The fallout was swift and severe. Some companies pulled their ads, and an affiliate in Birmingham, Alabama, refused to air the episode. Guest star Laura Dern, who played a lesbian, said she had trouble getting work afterward. But the episode drew huge ratings, and 20 years later it’s hard to imagine what the fuss was about.

A famous line:

Why it matters: DeGeneres’ was the first lead character to come out as gay on American television, and her example helped usher in major LGBT characters in “Will & Grace,” “Glee” and other series.

6. ‘South Park’ skewers sacred cows

When: 1997-present

What happened: From the very first episode of this subversive cartoon, titled “Cartman Gets an Anal Probe,” creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone seemed bent on offending as many groups as possible. Over the years the show has gleefully lampooned conservatives and liberals, satirized Jesus Christ and Mohammed, made insinuations about Tom Cruise’s sexuality, depicted Steve Irwin with a stingray barb stuck in his chest and called Scientology a “big, fat global scam.”

Editor’s Note: The following video contains graphic language and content. Viewer discretion is advised.

In one episode the word “sh*t” was said 162 times, complete with a helpful counter that tallied the utterances in the lower-left corner of the screen. Because the show airs on Comedy Central, not broadcast TV, it has been largely spared the wrath of network censors. Still, numerous parents’ and conservative groups have called for boycotts.

A famous line:

Why it matters: By skillfully skewering religion, ethnic groups, celebrities and other targets while pushing the bounds of decency, “South Park” has largely obliterated TV’s last remaining taboos. Almost no topic, no matter how sensitive, has been immune. Thompson, the Syracuse University professor, compared such trailblazing comedy to the pioneers who pushed west in the 1800s to tame the American wilderness. “The wilderness is now closed,” he said, “and sometime in the ’90s we hit the Pacific Ocean.”

Read more: http://cnn.it/2k6LIM9

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