#CAN YOU TELL IVE SEEN SOME SHIT
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obviously not all or even most ace/aroace people are sex negative but the fact that a very weird purity culture-y catholic post i just saw looks identical to some of the shit ive seen in the ace and aroace tags says alot about how alot of the online aspec community is just repackaged purity culture
#TO BE CLEAR. i dont have a problem with sex repulsed people expressing the fact that they are sex repulsed#i have a fucking problem with the fact that alot of the posts ive seen in the ace and aroace tags#(and the aro tags because of how many aroace people tag their posts that are mostly or entirely abt being ace with aro tags)#looks identical to shit ive heard from catholic purity culture#solar system.txt#CAN YOU TELL IVE SEEN SOME SHIT
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Columbo and the Knight (1984)
put me in the universe where Columbo ran through the 1980s and had a crossover episode with Knight Rider. I think they deserved it, and I am not just saying that because they're my two favorite Old Shows. @telebeast wrote a little fanfic blurb about it and I HAD to visualize it into a comic (which is also the longest comic I have finished thus far at five pages...), so writing credit goes to them.
Autism W!
#columbo#knight rider#art#michael knight#kitt#comic#highlight reel#crossover#telebeast#there are two small easter eggs here. can you find them. they were somehow not Entirely lost when i resized these for the public#this is what i mean when i say I Draw And It's Everyone Else's Problem. look at my INCREDIBLY niche crossover comic boy#if the knight rider fandom has like 12 people in it. how many of y'all have seen columbo#this comic is for like 4 people and me and phoenix are already two of them#niche is my specialty lets be real. weird niche obscure shit and ships nobody's paid attention to yet#not to suggest this is ship art. columbo has his wife and michael has his car lmfao#stylizing real people is EXTREMELY hard btw sorry for when they get off model. its partly a 'better imperfect than never finished' situatio#cant tell you how much i redrew some of these panels. weeps#this took me 2 weeks but i think i thumbnailed it all in may and the ideas been rollin around in my head since march#is anybody good at editing. please edit michael and columbo into an image together like its a screenshot. NOT generated. edited.#it would be so cool#ive drawn columbo a lot but i haven't drawn a lot of michaels. i was learning things about his outfit AS I WAS DOING THE DAMN#COLORS ON THIS. all the lines done. it was too late to change anything. i did all the lines and colored page by page#i realized my mistakes on like page 3. 1 and 2 were already done. it was Too Late.#imagine it though. them working a case together. switching between the more serious tone of columbo vs the goofier#action antics of michael and kitt. columbo being so impressed by Modern Technology. there's more i could say but phoenix may write#more of this crossover and i don't want to spoil it :'3#there's opportunity here though i swear. there's gold to be dug.#i like how kitt gets shading but columbo's junker peugeot doesn't. kitt looked wrong without any. columbo's car is matte and dirty#i also applied effects to this to make it look a little film-grainy and VHS like. some CRT TV vibes#the only question left is. did they put knight rider into columbo; or columbo into knight rider 🤔
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Re-watching wakfu for the first time in years and s1 Yugo was so silly???
dude discovered he could make portals at will and his first thought after actually acknowledging it is "i can do so many cool pranks with this"
#he was just a kid..... guys he was just a kid....#HE WAS SO SILLY#also the fact that after eva told him they used to call amalia princess gobball he just laughs at it ☠️#was he 12? i think he was in s1#why dont they ever celebrate characters bdays tho#thinking over it now there was little to no chill time for these guys#sure there was a good amount of non plot stuff to get to know the characters but like#idk? ummm like in the first ova they gave them some chill time and i wish they had done that more#s4 was an amalgamation of “FUCK NOT AGAIN JFC”#OH ACTUALLY#there was (1) episode with chill time and i loved it#despite having gone thru alot of effort to be like look!!! chibi and grougal!!! theyre bros!!! yugo spent like. 5 minutes of screentime#with them. like actually being their brother.#and like it was kinda funny because imagine like the world sorta blowing up a little and then ur child comes back just to say#'dad im rlly fucking upset. ive been to the house of the gods btw. and i met my mom.'#alibert mustve been so fkn confused hdhdbd#then again. its like. average shit for his son#alibert went from gay dad with his lil guy from a species he does not know of who basically works a farm inn to like#a literal demigod. he def has made some enemies#i remember the most abt yugo bec the hyperfix was strongest on him#current thoughts on the others in the brotherhood:#tristepin: yugos nickname did not translate well into en lmao. also my guy pls stop harrassing women?? he gets an arc ik but like. my guy.#yes specifically s1 them#amalia: i mean. she does in fact act like a spoiled 13 yr old. but like. girl they did u kinda dirty.#eva: they also did you kinda dirty. love that your the only one just sick of everyones logic defying shit.#ruel: yk what. no notes. that is the most realistic old man ive ever seen. hes hilarious#az: this mf gets his ass in trouble every five seconds. u can tell he grew up with yugo. also according to s4 he gets bitches so XD#wu's rewatch notes#thats what im calling this#wakfu
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I dislike takes that Danse would be just as conservative in modernized aus when it's clearly shown his staunch views of things come from his time in the Brotherhood and his deep-rooted desire to belong to something with a greater purpose.
Not to mention lines that show much more open-mindedness that get overlooked for his harsher sentiments when you first meet him. Like the oppurtunity to be a part of something is why Danse fell so far into Brotherhood dogma and it doesn't negate the offense things he does but I feel like it's just lazy to be like "hmmm he'd def be racist" just so it aligns to his BoS beliefs.
#like i genuinely think he would like not fall into the military if he was in modern times because of all the other things he could do#he clearly has a passion for tech and mods and likely would find himself more useful as like a mechanic like at most hes one of those range#types or something but I feel like people equate his seriousness and him being a military man to closemindedness when its like having to ge#a new view point like we really dont know what he believed in before the BoS if he believed in anything at all outside of selling scrap to#survive before basically having an army recruiter have him join one of the scariest factions like why is the BoS so fucking violent???#like the BoS operates in such a way cause there is no civilian population like everyone is something or training to be so they arent really#fighting for anything but themselves at this point which is just a feedback loop of gaining more power and is not equatable to real#military people due to the fact most of the recruits are really born and bred to be soliders while say irl you have a family and country to#fight for and return to outside the military which is def grounding as Danse wouldn't be in the army 24/7 like in canon#idk its odd to me when a character that is has fantastic racism ergo the trope of bigotry to fake races people try to translate it to real#life especially when those races have not equivalent like tell me what is the irl equal to a fucking ghoul or super mutant like????#racism is not like a funny headcanon like making him a defrosting prude or by the book is whatever but he would not be a bigot just like a#narc or some shit hed tell on me for loitering but I know hed tear apart each voting party and likely the military for being self serving#and like knows all about it and it makes him sound like a politics nut but its more annoyance like I have such strong feelings about#characters who would be marginially better if they were not victums to the military like yes I believe we can fix Danse he just needs to#be around not war/the military for like a week and see people be happy existing like he doesnt know how to do that but this is a weird take#ive seen mostly from white fans that makes me super uncomfy like ur weird#anyway still fuck the brotherhood everyone is so rude like damn i know its the east coast but can we get a little hospitality fuck you#maccready was right brotherhood of squeal more like it dont worry porky we'll get you out (danse is porky btw)#fallout#fallout 4#fo4#paladin danse
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hey psst c'mere... no a little closer... a little closer- there we go
Loop lips are part of a racist caricature of Black people. Stop drawing Black characters with loop lips. I don't care how they look in canon, it's racist.
okay that's all you can go
#one piece#usopp#goes for other black characters too but this is the one that comes to mind rn.#not gonna get into other shit like 'lightening their skin to make them look prettier teehee'#or 'but they look better with wavy/straight hair!¡!!' or any of the number of other stuff ive seen#bc like. im not even sure folks can handle this one simple thing lmao#many people are great about this but theres still quite a few who are ass#'um! well the creator did it this way and i like him! and he did it on his white characters too!' dont give a shit.#stop drawing racist caricatures. i like op too but im not riding that guy's dick and twisting myaelf in knots trying to justify all his BS#we can agree he's bad at drawing women and he fumbles how he handles queer characters (sometimes. this is mostly referring to momoiro)#but you can't listen to folks who are constantly saying 'hey this is a racist depiction of black people. please dont draw like that'#like???#im gonna keep it 100 with you guys. i love one piece. its got me through some dark times. ive loved it for a long long time#i dont expect the creator to ever give me the time of day#but english fandom? english fandom i can change. and english fandom i can hold to a BARE MINIMUM standard of 'dont be racist'#and yet i still get disappointed. far more often than i should.#ignorance is one thing but the people who DOUBLE DOWN are the worst#thanks for telling me you prioritize your comfort over not being wildly offensive to me and people like me#idfk where i was going with this im just so goddamn tired#if u wanna know more about what im talking about in the post just look up the wiki for minstrel shows & jim crow
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The fact I have to boot up totk AGAIN, honest to God yall after I make this one fuckass post it is au only I am not doing zelda discourse no more
#watching my own mutuals have bad faith takes on people who w#fucking agree with them and the way people are teying to pick out wording on something SO STUPID AND TRIVIAL is gonna dive me nute#NUTS ANYWAYS like the fact you have people trying to act like ezlo and navi are stupid and wrong and “didnt address eveything” is fucking#insane an obtoose like this is coming from bitches who have SEEN THEIR POSTS ON SIMILAR SUBJECTS BEFORE#like this all boils down to rynling was changing the plot to tp multiple diffrent times and calling people stupid for not subscribing to he#fanfic on what LITERALLY HAPPENED IN THE GAME#like i will adress all the shit around it IN DETAIL because i need it to go out as a HEY to my moots but like PLEASE GUYS I LOVE YALL WHAT#IS THIS#like sorry i said “we” when i should of said RYNLING#i didnt wanna be mean and tbh i do not care if i burn a bridge or piss them off#at this point but its crazy hoe many of you have shit talked her to me and then act like she didnt have a bad faith and like fucking insane#reading of what and i say again LITERALLY HAPPENED IN TWILIGHT PRINCESS#Something stupid big and im very tired of the vauge posting coming from people i like very much#like full on this shit js ridiculos and this is my final straw when it comes to zelda discussion. do not @ me#and ive hated direct comfrontation and shit and discorrse to begin with cuz it was usually some dumbfuck zelinker being RACIST#but apprently its now picking words apart. i will be as careful in my wording as possible but make no mistake this was about rynlings post#first and foremost and just getting things wrong about when the histoy of light and shadow line and just MIDNA in general#and its been conisistantly wrong since 2019 and mf yes im tag talking i aint taking up a dashboard#can you tell im very frustrated? im helping ezlo argue with white leftists who will ask you if you hate waffles when you say i like pancakes
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I should add poledancing to the list of odd talents that Akira has but has no business having due to growing up in a small suburban town. I only had access to it bc i had a YMCA that had a MASSIVE gym (in a criminally underfunded part of the city); there were poles put up alongside some other structures to allow counselors to make up some shit for us to do lmao
Hes got a flair about him; speaking from experience, it is FUN to do gymnastic shit like that, and its really really REALLY good for ur core. Other things on the list are basic gymnastics (he hates that shit tho, the classes he took sucked ass), Parkour (loves this; less about running and more about utilizing ur core and bracing for falls), and Knife Flipping/Spinning. Theyre all odd things that coincidentally ended up being VERY good experience for the metaverse :) YEAH the metaverse makes it easier to pull off tricks, but he already knew how to do all those things; you cant get Ryuji or Yusuke to spin kick off a pole wo having them fall and bust their ass- Its ALL skill babey
#chattin#akira#i also hc him as someone who Can do yoga but hates doing it alone bc its boring#but he LIVES off of attention#and being good at doing extreme yoga poses will give u ppls undivided attention LMAO#hes like. before i learn this thing. is it Cool? and will it make people say ‘what the fuck?’ out loud?#i feel like he wouldnt tell anyone about anything voluntarily#ann makes a comment about pole dancing bc shes seen some of the older models do it#and it just seems so impossibly out of reach for her. and hes like. do u have a trainer? i could help#‘what do u mean help???’ ‘what else would that mean? help you Do the Thing bc i know how to Do it’#ann is the only person whos seen it outside of the metaverse. hes a bit clumsy w more extreme poses but hes good at spinning :)!#she manages to get herself upside down and they both scream in shock and joy#the whole time ive been writing im like. i wonder if theres some people i can find in my area#im working out again and pole dancing would be fun#or rock climbing tbh#i just like climbin on shit like a little monkey lol
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Ok so these designs are cute as hell, the Internet is just mean
I have too many thoughts about a game I still need to watch
#goodbye volcano high#i dont have the money to buy it but god i need to watch a playthrough when i have time it's so interesting to me#like; the theme of 'yeah we're going die but that doesn't mean we can enjoy what time we have left' sounds amazing to me love that#its so funny i was actually watching a review of it that was basically 'this game sucks and here's why'#and then it just started listing off shit like- 'the characters designs are pastel they're nonbinary you die no matter what'#and then my neurons just went off and went '👁️👁️ oh! sounds amazing i want to see more'#fuck yeah pastel nonbinary dinosaurs lets go#well i think its just fang thats nonbinary and then two other trans characters#i saw a cutscene! and it was about the experiences of being an apart of a family as sec-gen immigrant and trans-#and i thought that was cool as hell dont recall ever seeing that in any of thr arts ive seen before (but there's lots of art out there!)#heard it got some glitches tho (havent looked in depth of what those glitches are) hopefully it got patched out#also im so fucking pissed i saw the gator game before i saw this 😮💨 (context; apparently made by people who made a fangame where they#the mc of this game a datable side character and they only have a happy ending if they detransition? which fucking yikes😬)#i saw people say 'oh but they did it empathetically' like how the fuck is taking a canon nb character and making them only happy through#detransitioning empathetic that sounds super fucking shitty and gross#i think a character that detransitions can be done and would be interesting to see- but this just reeks of people being transphobic for real#oh also purple dino has a slug or worm or something apparently! seems cute! just a lil thing#apparently its a rhythm game; listened to some of the songs and it sounded good! sadly i suck at rhythm games#but apparently failing doesn't affect the story? kinda wish it would but honestly better for me lol-#pink one and fang end up dating i believe- from what i saw pink is like- soft spoken artist? dunno if accurate but she's cute#all the characters are cute just look at them!!! awesome#also they have to just continue school like normal before they die and honestly thats so real#also saw people dislike the fact you dont see the characters actual die or the meteor#which is ??? dunno i just think some things are better left implied than shown-#anyways man i keep trying to find neat stuff about the game and all i see is people bitchin about it or praising the shit fan on instead 😔#man if i had two nickles for a time i grew to become obsessed with a media only for loads of people to hate id have two nickles#first nickle is kat elliot she's such a cool character Internet wasn't ready for her#also yes i saw obsessed i can just tell this is something ill go bonkers for#i mean god look how much text is in my tags for this already! and i still need to see the game in it's fullness!#im sure there's other cool shit
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Okay, but how about The Monkees in a concert band setting. Which instrument would they all play?
Mike gives hardcore trumpet vibes. Like, Show Mike is like the 3rd trumpet that's chill and Leader like, but not at the level of a lead trumpet player. Like a good player but super relaxed. Real Mike, a total Lead Trumpet Player. Hardcore. I can't NOT see it...
Davy gives off saxophone vibes. I don't know much about him outside of the show, but he really gives alto sax vibes. Cool, really goofy, and all the girls love him. Now there's the two sides of this-- he thinks all the girls him, or the girls really do love him. It's totally the latter. He also seems so mischievous too.
Peter would be in the woodwind family. Like I know he played French horn but the hornets that I've known have been very arrogant or overly confident. He doesn't really fit the personality stereotype imo. I think Show Peter would totally be a bass clarinetist, quiet, really goofy, and just super sweet, but Real Peter would totally be a lead clarinetist or a Bassoonist. Like smart and slightly nerdy, but also very serious in a positive way about his music!
Micky just gives me low brass vibes, period. Show Micky is so a bass trombone/tuba. If you know, you know... as a fellow trombonist, he fits almost too perfectly, especially the absolute hyperactivity and impressions. Real Micky is a Euphonium player through and through. Still goofy fun and totally a low brass person, but much more quiet/calm and a little more contained.
What do you think??
#the monkees#davy jones#michael nesmith#mike nesmith#peter tork#monkees#micky dolenz#monkees in band#being a band kid for 20 years and teaching band and being in band in college#ive seen some shit yall#i wouldve jammed with all of our boys omfg#im also married to a trumpet player. i can tell you that Mike is a true blue lead trumpet guy. its facts. i will fight you.
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i do think the most interesting interpretation of btvs lore is that non-vampire demons and mystical entities ALL have souls, unless they sold, destroyed or otherwise got rid of them (like the mayor)
#because first of all: it gives a potential explanation for why there is a VAMPIRE slayer who specializes in vamps and not just a ''slayer''#like why vampires are singled out in particular. if its because they are in some inherent way crueler more evil less human less worthy#than at least the average demon altho not the most terrible demons. and that kind of checks!! plenty of demons seem to be fairly chill#amoral maybe and have weird diets but not necessarily Big Bads. whereas all vampires by definition drain humans of blood for fun and profit#second: it explains a lot about anya in particular - i'm thinking of two things in s7 when she's a-venging again#1. when she sees spike's soul in his eyes and is Shocked. not the face of a woman who has never seen a soul in the eyes of a demon before#2. no one is like ''oh anya has a soul!!! you cant slay her'' or ''how can you be a demon again when you have a soul wahhh''#i bet everyone just knows she has a soul. she's had a soul the whole time. everyone knows that. everyone's been knowing that.#third: it explains Why Angel And Spike Are Such Frickin Big Deals lmaoooo#the whole ''vampire with a soul'' thing isnt understood by buffy in s1 - angel tells her about it and she's like okay sure. try harder#the concept of ''souls'' being ''something'' that one ''has'' is like so ... it ONLY MAKES SENSE if vampires are KNOWN to NOT HAVE SOULS!!!#like imagine youre a demon or w/e and some master vamp comes along and youre like ''oh shit'' and he's like nah man ... ive got my Soul#and youre like ''oh SHIT. i didnt know you could do that''#vaguely related point: i think something people in fandom have always struggled with (''struggled with'' is the nice way of phrasing)#is the idea that in buffy's mind vampire with soul = good / vampire without soul = bad ALWAYS NO EXCEPTIONS#and like. theres so much nuance there. nuance number one being that buffy anne summers is the Queen Of Black And White Thinking#and we gotta take what she says with a grain of salt. nuance number two being obviously bad people can do good things and vice versa#nuance number three is that she's kinda right? if you have no true moral compass AND no true empathy AND delight in causing pain You're Bad#anyway i think this take ^^^^ about demons having souls and the people of btvs being aware of this lends EVEN MORE NUANCE!!!#because people in fandom love being like ..... buffy would kill anything without a soul. and protect anything with a soul. which tbh#i think is a deliberate misunderstanding of the source material. buffy would kill anything that harms humans and will protect#anyone that is human. thats her fucking job lmaoooooooooooooo its her calling in life. get bent#i'm ending the tag spiral here <3#it's terribly simple
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Anyway, because I'm considered a bigger creator within the mogai community and I have a responsibility to address things given my bigger audience-
Please remember that Tumblr, especially LGBT Tumblr concerning discourse and intracommunity issues, is a hyper niche, reactive, violent, sensitive community with next to zero basis in reality at large and you should not take any of its opinions as absolute fact. Especially the mogai community's opinions.
A lot of people on mogai Tumblr talk big game with very clearly fake the-whole-bus-clapped stories about the real world concerning acceptance towards mspec monos, Neopronouns and Xenogenders and it's my job as an adult and guiding voice to remind people these experiences may happen but rarely do and you absolutely should not just tell random people you use purr/purrs pronouns or your a bi gaybian or you identify as Chronosian or other things like that because it's really fucking dangerous even in hyper progressive places like new york, cali and Detroit. It can be deadly in many many small towns, including ones in progressive states. Especially dangerous in non accepting states.
I don't say this to burst your bubble or ruin your hopeful world view but many stories of acceptance are fake, even if some are true, most of the community is underage and just cause your teacher may approve of your Soniccharic identity, doesn't mean they won't tell your transphobic parents. It's scary and dangerous out here for trans and gay people rn and I won't be one of the idiots who tell you to run and frolic with your Xenogender pins Infront of increasingly hostile transphobes. I want the younger gen z trans people to survive and I won't lie to you about the reality of the battle we all are staring down concerning project 2025.
Most of the people telling these stories live in progressive states and do not tell you about the failed times or exaggerate the acceptance they supposedly received. I'm telling you from the mouth of someone who grew up in a tiny town in South Ohio with less than 1,000 people, it's still just as dangerous as it was 10 years ago. I still get followed in my home town. I still get stares in my home town. My actual home town, a place I grew up in where people knew me as the gnc dyke for a good while in my last 2 years of school. Do not spread this shit around to everyone. Nex didn't think they would become a victim, Brianna didn't think she would be one of the unlucky ones, plenty of those we've lost did not think they would die in hate crimes. I almost died in two of the hate crimes I've experienced.
You need to be really fucking careful and although I love than Neopronouns and Xenogenders are becoming more accepted by the larger LGBT community, you need to be very very VERY careful about what you do, what you wear and who you tell what because word spreads fast in suburbia and hate spreads faster. You do not want to be wearing a pin the day some white cishet magat decides he's tired of the "pedophiles" and chooses you as the first victim because you were the first he saw. Don't hide who you are but Be. Fucking. Careful.
#clover speaks#im not being a doomist and i wont stand those allegations but some of yall telling these kids and teens the world is totes cool#with no-c paras and therians and bi lesbians have lost the plot and are gonna get these kids killed#especially considering i grew up very rural and none of the advice about presenting trans could possibly apply to me#thats why i say urban and even semi urban lgbt people should not be giving advice to rural lgbt people#nothing you say can apply to us because it is that dangerous#i still get followed as a fucking 23 yr old adult around my town#the one time an lgbt club tried to get established at my highschool the posters were ripped to shreds and there were both#bomb and shooting threats#people talking about setting the school on fire so they could quote pop the faggots one by one as they came running out#im so happy you live in a privileged Massachusetts school district with loving teachers who accept your system identity#please dont encourage the children in alabama and ohio to follow suit because you will get their naive asses killed#urban queer advice dosent apply to rural lgbt people#thats another thing ive seen be said by urban lgbt people that queer is no longer a slur used that way and has been totally reclaimed#great guess half my family and all my achool bullies were really just showing solidarity and i took it the wrong way#say youve never truely felt mortal danger in your small Christian home town cause your ex told pple your trans without saying it#like really#the privilege just jumps right out#that was the stupidest so and so is terf rhetoric to date and yall tme people just scarfed that shit down#ill never drop that veiw because i and many others can attest to it#surprise queer can be a slur an identity and a community all at the same time shocking ik#and if your offended because people are calling your identity a slur i ask whats dyke and faggor now#cause thoss were reclaimed waaaayyyyy before queer was and you still acknowledge their status as slurs#infact i remember seeing maps of slur usage on twitter from 2020 when that discourse was popular and queer#was the bigots favorite slur for us not dyke or faggot#i cant believe the brain rot on this site sometimes#itd be so funny as entertainment if yall werent using it to question and harass lgbt people with ptsd over it for litteral years#ik because i was one of the people harassed :)#i dont forget this shit so easily#sorry for the rant lol
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wipzzz of a larger series I was gonna do, featuring my own take on Karna alter (utilizing, yes, the rejected rider design, but there was going to be More going on than just that)
however, for reasons, I'm shelving this project. for now, anyways!! maybe I'll come back to this?
#fgo#fate grand order#fate karna#karna fate#for some explanation- theres apparently another project also utilizing him again w the rejected rider design and i dont need to be seen as#cribbing off that project. i mean this is based off of 'duryodhana wishing for 'a karna that could win the war' on the grail' so i imagine#the base is very different. but still.#another reason is that while i was working on this there was some weird shit going on in the tags#didnt rly pay attention to it but it's like. okiii#not pictured: him w dury bc it's also rougher n the formatting wont like only one more pic getting added#you can tell i was trying to figure out how i wanted to paint his face. ive figured it out but it's not reflected here LMAO
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i love how kh games are just sometimes psychological horrors
#like#u forget it a little bit when playing bc its like haha disney and also like#the gameplay kind of breaks what the fuckness bc u got shit to do now#at least for me im like woah thats fucked up but i cant think too hard abt it bc im trying to finish the game#but its not until you like actively sit and think abt it or like even explaining it to someone else#where youre like god damn this is a tragedy and also a horror story#like fuck castle oblivion and all the horrors of com is like???#and then the prologue for kh2 is definitely a psychological horror#i see a lot of people praise sora and go aw hes so brave and strong when sora like#actively ignores literally anything bad that happens to him#like that one scene in neverland in kh1 where sora was like LITERALLY SO SAD AND UPSET ABT KAIRI#and then immediately does a u turn and is like omg i flew wait until i tell kairi :)#and some people are like aw hes being so brave and he has faith that kairi can come back and he can save her#and that made me so upset when i first saw that scene bc to me i was like immediately oh hes just repressing#or someone was even like what a good boy about him stabbing himself in the heart to save kairi#like yeah i love a self sacrifical 14 yr old#i guess cuz like. idk most stories that are like in the same genre as kh do make shit like this like a positive thing? like dont focus on th#the bad things stay positive and all that#and it works in those stories dont get me wrong i do like them and it works in the beginning of kh but like#then you notice that sora doesnt process literally anything#in the game that tells you repressing the negativity is a bad thing#like rikus whole story line staring you in the face and youre still saying sora being positive and Not Thinking about literally anything bad#is a good thing#and like i said it worked in the beginning! it worked as intended!! then weird and upsetting things started happening to sora and that shit#piles up!!!! and you can see it happen in real time and sora was cracking HARD in kh3 i dont think ive ever seen that kid so god damn sad#idk where i was going with this#oh yeah psychological horros#the parallels between data sora and real sora and the contrasts haunt me every day#michi tag
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ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.
#just got home and went to put my shit away but my flatmate was in the kitchen and i got suddenly so mad i had to walk back out#not going to do or say anything while im this upset. i need to be a lot calmer before i can even be in the same room as her#like okay. so originally it was just the two of them getting drinks and theyd rather it was just them bc i dont drink. thats cool#it wouldve been difficult for me to join them after work bc travel. and ik theyd done this before just the 2 of them and had fun#i can fully respect that its why i said no and stuck by that decision when she asked again#but to not mention she was taking the day off work and btw i just found out that BOTH of our other old flatmates joined in too#to not mention that they were travelling that entire distance and that it wasnt just drinks it was a whole day out together#thats just mean. why wouldnt you tell me that why did none of them say anything.#and the fact they did the exact same fucking thing last weekend too i didnt know about that at all#like i need to stop trying to justify it. im allowed to feel unwanted and excluded bc thats exactly what theyre doing.#im tired of feeling like other people dont want me around. i know i can be difficult and annoying sometimes. but im really not that bad#and we're meant to be friends!!!!!! like youre supposed to like your friends. and want to spend time with them. or at least i do#and yeah everyones annoying sometimes thats just part of being alive ur supposed to tolerate it if ur friends#im allowed to want to feel like im wanted. im allowed to want ppl to care abt me. that shouldnt be too much to ask for#but the overwhelming message im getting at the moment is they dont want me around. and when i am around them i feel like they dont listen#to me and that they dont really care how i feel unless it directly involves them or theyre responsible for it#i feel like they dont see me as a real person that exists. only a version they have in their heads and they base all their assumptions and#decisions off that version instead of directly communicating with me. and constantly avoid me under the guise of 'giving me space'#when im upset or having a difficult time and most need support from other people. i just feel really unseen#and ik that part of how i feel IS exacerbated by insecurity and depression. like they do care to some degree#but also a lot of it is evidenced in the way they act towards me. mainly my roommate bc shes the person i interact with most#and personally i find the most direct ways of showing u care abt someone are showing up for them. and making them feel seen#and maybe not everyone feels the same way. but thats how it works for me anyway#so to repeatedly exclude me and avoid acknowledging that ive been having a difficult time is the opposite of that to me#which is the point im trying to arrive at... sorry ik ive probably said similar things repeatedly the last few weeks but i feel like its#crystallising a bit like this is the core reason why im so sensitive and reactive atm and why i got so upset by it#idk. not tonight bc im still very emotionally raw but maybe tomorrow if im calmer i should explain that i was upset + why to her#i avoid doing that so often when im upset bc i dont think theres much point in having a conversation abt it unless u expect some kind of#resolution from it. or if you want an apology but idrc abt being apologised to the crucial thing is what theyre going to do different#and i love her but shes very resistant to changing her behaviour bc of other ppl being upset by it. and like i said before she has
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SEASON NINE FINALE WAS WILD. I HAVE MANY MANY THOUGHTS. WHAT JUST HAPPENED. A FUCKING ROLLER COASTER FOR SURE
#theo.txt#I DID NOT REALIZE DEMON DEAN WAS NOW#DESPITE KNOWING THAT YEAH HE LOOKS ABOUT THAT AGE OR WHATEVER IN THE SCREENCAPS IVE SEEN#WHEN I TELL YOU I CHEERED AT THE END WHEN I REALIZED WHAT WAS GOING ON!!!!! i love crowley pulling some bullshit at the last minute. classi#king of hell shit#and in the end scene where it's just mark sheppard's stellar monologue and the EYELID NOISE... chefs kiss that got me so hyped for s10#i do think this finale got me really interested to see what s10 brings generally#AND DOESNT ROWENA SHOW UP THIS SEASON?? WE LOVE TO SEE IT IM EXCITED#rip gadreel though he was an interesting character. sad he had to die just to prove a point and blow up a cell. but a fitting end ig?? :(#i also loved cas's plan at the end though with the angel radio thing. get his ass lol#but also god i felt so bad for him. can the narrative give him a fucking break. he is trying his god damn best#the curse of free will and the curse of loving. painful but you do it anyway. castiel when i get my hands on you#also if i am not mistaken... the shot parallels to sams first death with deans death... we cry#IS SAM JUST GONNA BE ALL ALONE NOW?? I ASSUME CROWLEY TAKES DEAN WITH HIM?#OH NO 😭😭😭 SAM BABY IM SO SORRY#not that he doesnt always have a rough time but he has a particularly excruciating season. someone give this man a hug#i feel for him very deeply#'i lied' 'ain't that a bitch?' got me. i hate them. SOOOO brothers.#anyway#AAAAAAAAUGH#also why was metatron the worlds number one destiel shipper at the end of the season here im DEAD. MULTIPLE pieces of dialogue hes like 'yo#did it all for HUMANITY... for your ONE HUMAN of CHOICE... the HUMAN who motivates you...' JUST CALL HIM A SLUR WHY DONT YOU#im dead#idk what the general community thoughts are on that episode but i did enjoy it. wild fucking ride from start to finish#s9 wasnt my favorite and definitely did not hook me in the second quarter for some reason. def was not as compelling as like s7 for me but#the points that i liked i really enjoyed#loved sam resorting to summoning crowley. he wants his ass dead SO bad. i think sam deserves the world after the shit he was put through#this season#anyway overall. i am gnawing on the walls and pacing around my room at incredible speeds. what is UP with this show.#man.
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never in my life did i think i need to makeout with a piece of software so badly but here we are i guess
#lizzy speaks#OK IM BEING OVERDRAMATIC AND I WOULD ELABORATE BUT I NEED TO SLEEP BUT#DO YOU EVER JUST#FUCK !!!!!!#IVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY TO COME ACROSS A PIEC EOF SOFTWARE#i need to fiddle around with it some more but everything ive seen about it is MIND BLOWING to me#ive been waiting my entire life for this moment i think#i feel like it's funnier if i don't say what the software is. i wanna be mysterious so bad but i cannot shut the fuck up#literally been suffering through notetaking and organization softwares and im like ohh i think i finally found the one#this is the minecraft of sex i think its like wowza i can finally do all those writing projects i want to do#boys (me) don't want girls they want an organized database of notes that they can easily reference at anytime#sorry for being unhinged but like its like past midnight lol im sure i'll wake up in the morning and be like 'what the FUCK were you doing'#BUT!!! i think ill come back to this post to reblog it with like actual shit about the software when i figure out how i want to use it#i think everyone should experience joys in life. and sometimes that joy is having organized notes#bonus points if anyone can figure out what im talking about just from the tags alone i think this software will change my life#it has fucking tag functionality i literally love tags#sorry about the vocabulary but this rivals like. my love of spreadsheets. which are like. a wonderful thing i think but ANYWAY IM RAMBLING#anyways goodnight i wish you all on the dash a very lovely evening i just needed to share this because im so overjoyed right now o7#if you have a software that you really like thats changed you feel free to tell me in the tags or something :) i like learning new things
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