#C was a funny little goblin i loved him

[m0nster-fvcker]

i used to work in an animal sanctuary and i can confirm this

there were actually 3 crows i was rehabbing at the time and they acted like each one of these, see tags for info lol

Three Vibes.

[the-kr8tor]

Okay, but like, what about Hobie x a reader who's like, super resilient? As in resistant to physical dmg. Like idk how to word it, but someone who like, accidentally chops of half her finger then is like, "Oh no, I'm fine :)" then puts rubbing alcohol on it. And he's just like freaking out like there's so much blood on the counter?? Idk, I just thought it'd be funny because I'm kinda like that irl ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Thank you so much for requesting!! I loved writing it ❤️

Pairing: Hobie Brown x gn! Reader/ Spider-Punk x gn! Reader

Word count: 1.2k

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, cw blood, cw injury, cw food mentions, established relationship, FLUFF.

A/N: a bit late for another Halloween fic lol it's still Halloween somewhere right? (Wrong)

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

The cinnamon smelling cookies in the oven makes your stomach grumble. With your hands occupied with the pumpkin carving knives, you pout at the rumbling feeling. You and Hobie are speedily carving out pumpkins together during Halloween night. You would've done it earlier on your own but you wanted to carve them together with Hobie. Unfortunately, Goblin doesn't care about the holiday despite his pumpkin shaped bombs.

So you're carving away, chipping at the face you've doodled that Hobie lovingly told you that it looks eerily like you. Which earned him a face full of pumpkin guts thrown at him.

Hobie senses your hunger, and how you're carving away without care. “Love, it's not a competition.”

“I know, but the trick or treaters will be here any minute!” You huff, poking out a finished ‘eye’ in your pumpkin. One down, a few more shapes to go. “Besides, that movie we watched the other day fucked me up, I don't want to be murdered by a pumpkin demon for not having a jack o’ lantern on our doorstep.”

He chuckles, going around the counter and abandoning his own half finished pumpkin. “The little demon won't come ‘ere knowin’ that ‘m over ‘ere, lovie.” You give him a look as he slides his arms around your middle, chin perched on your shoulder as he rubs his chin on you lovingly. “‘sides, this was supposed to be fun, remember?” Pecking your cheek, you lean closer as he smothers your jaw in warm kisses. Who needs a chimney when you've got your walking furnace right beside you? “Slow down for me, yeah?” Whispering lowly in your ear that sends goosebumps on your arms, he rubs them away with an even warmer hand before he reluctantly moves away to check on the cookies.

“Yeah,” you say with a lovestruck smile, turning around to see Hobie bending down while cracking open the hot oven and shutting it off. “You're right, this is fun, Hobie.” You take the opportunity to ogle him with a tilt of your head. He senses your eyes on his behind of course, prompting him to quickly look over his shoulder, catching you mid turn as you pretend you weren't eyeing him down.

Hobie slides himself next to you on the counter, elbow placed on the cold tiles, chin resting on his palm with a smirk on his pretty lips. “Saw somethin' you like?”

You glance at him, trying to tamp down your laughter. “Well, your jack o' lantern isn't done yet, I don't like that.”

Hobie was about to steal a kiss right on your smug lips but the doorbell ringing and the unmistakable chime of children outside interrupts him. “Tight arse.” He says against your pursed lips before walking away to grab the bowl of candy on the table.

“Flat ass.” You call after him as he makes his way to the front door. He chuckles as he opens it, and the trick or treaters’ voices echoes inside.

Shaking your head with a grin, you continue to chip away at the pumpkin, following the zig zagged line of its serrated smile. As you chop and cut, you hear Hobie giving out candies.

“Nice costume, little man.” He says, and you're sure he's giving the kid a full sized chocolate bar based on the lilt of his tone. “Spider-Man himself would be jealous, eh?”

You wanted to see what the said costume looks like, so with a quick peek while you're cutting out the last bits of pumpkin, you smile at the kid's homemade costume. It's even complete with Hobie's signature spikes and leather vest. Your smile falters as you feel something warm trickle from the pads of your thumb, looking down, you see crimson ebb from your fingertip down into the jack o’ lantern’s grin.

“Oh.”

Hobie's senses tingle as he shuts the door with a quick farewell to the kid. Goosebumps rise on his nape, head blaring alarms in his ears. Turning around to see what his senses are pointing at, he almost drops the bowl of candy when he sees your blood flowing from your hand, pooling down on the white countertops.

“Shit, love.” He speed walks towards you, hands outstretched to cradle your bleeding finger. “What happened?”

“I nicked myself, I'm fine.” The amount of red flowing out from the cut says otherwise. “I just need to wash it.”

“Fuck, you're bleedin’ a lot.” He curses under his breath as he helps you towards the kitchen sink, opening the faucet to let the warm water wash the crimson away. “You alright? How do you feel?” The sink water quickly blends in with your blood as it goes down the drain.

“I'm fine—” Hobie's already grabbing a clean towel from the rack, “Hobie—” he's wrapping it around your finger, watching the blood stain the white cloth. “Don't worry, I'm really fine.”

“It won't stop.” His eyes widen at how fast the red overtakes the pristine cloth. “Shit,” he wraps it tighter, and you don't even hiss or groan. Flicking his worried eyes at you, he sees you shrug at him. “You don't feel that?”

“I told you, I'm fine.”

“Bein' fine and not feelin’ any pain ain't the same. What if you nicked a nerve or some shit?”

“I don't think so,” you take a peek at the now drenched cloth. “Can you grab me the alcohol, please?” You say, awfully calm about the blood you're quickly losing.

“Alcohol?!” He scoffs out, guiding you down on the dining chair, just in case you faint. “Love, that won't help the bleedin’, It'll hurt you more.”

You bat your lashes at him, smiling as if you're not bleeding profusely. “Please?”

He sighs, remembering the med kit you have in your cabinet for him whenever he comes home with various wounds after a harsh patrol. “No, I'll get a proper disinfectant.”

“But, alcohol works best on me—”

“No,” he chuckles nervously, feeling your warm crimson on his palms. “If this doesn't stop in a minute, ‘m bringin’ you to hospital.”

“It's just a cut, I need alcohol, that's all.”

Hobie stands up, hands on his hips. It's his turn to take care of you, no matter how stubborn you are. “Stay ‘ere, if you feel faint yell for me, yeah?”

You huff in your seat, surrendering to his coddling. “Okay,” he enters your bathroom, knowing what he's already rifling through. “I don't need stitches, Hobie!”

“If you keep bein' like this, I'll stitch you up.”

“Okay, doctor Frankenstein!” You blink away the sudden dizziness and black dots dancing in your vision. “Hey, Hobie.”

“Yeah?” He makes his way back to you with the med kit, senses blaring at him.

“I feel a bit light headed actually—” You fall forward, eyes rolling on the back of your head.

“Love—!” He catches you in time. Putting his arms around you to carry you in a bridal hold. Even with his thudding heart and heavy worry, he calmly brings you towards the front door. As he opens it, he's greeted by a group of costumed children, their screams of terror at your bloodied hand almost freezes him in place. “Shit, it's not—!” They run away from the house, still screaming in horror. “Damn it.”

As he carries you towards the car, he'll make sure you'll never hear the end of his teasing after you've come too and hopefully better after some treatment.

[ataliagold]

But My Heart Is Just A Little Boy

Pairing: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson

Rating: Teen (swearing)

W/C: 2012

Tags: Established Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson, hurt/comfort, Steve Harrington has dyscalculia, Steve Harrington has self esteem issues, Steve Harrington needs a hug, fluff, light angst, DnD, Mike and Dustin are a little mean here

Notes: Just slowly posting some of my AO3 stuff here as well :) Title from Rattlesnake by Jack Van Cleaf.

___

Steve joining in on Eddie’s campaign was supposed to be a nice surprise for his boyfriend.

And it was; Eddie’s face had lit up with joy when Steve had walked in and sat down with the kids around the table. Steve had taken the dice Dustin had loaned him and lined them up in front of him, from the D4 (the funny triangle one) up to the D20 (the one with heaps of sides, Steve reminded himself.)

If he kept them in that order it would help him pick the right dice quickly, he’d decided.

Because he wanted this to go to perfectly.

Eddie had been asking him to join in on a game for months, but Steve had so far refused, only coming along sometimes to watch quietly. There were parts of it that piqued his interest – namely the combat and the creatures Eddie planted into the game, because some of them were so damn cool even if Steve wouldn’t readily admit it out loud. A small part of him, a much younger part that had loved fairy tales and stories about knights and dragons and sword fights before his father had confiscated those books, deeming them too childish, watched with a quiet giddiness as the kids battled all manner of beasts.

But much of the game was so complicated - there were so many numbers, and Steve had no idea how Eddie and the kids managed to keep track of everything, how they added dice values together so damn quickly and kept track of a seemingly endless list of stats and bonuses and modifiers, whatever the hell they were.

Eddie knew about his difficulty with numbers. He’d seen the way Steve had to count with his fingers, how it took him far too fucking long to do a simple equation, how he stood in Melvald’s staring at the price of something just trying to make the numbers make sense so they wouldn’t blow their grocery budget.

And Eddie was patient, always. But D&D was Eddie’s realm, his place to shine, and Steve was so worried about holding him back and ruining the game every time he had to pause to add two fucking dice together.

Finally, he’d caved. Secretly, with Dustin’s help, he’d put a character sheet together. He’d made a paladin because Dustin had told him it suited him. Steve made him strong and lawful good, just like the knights he used to read about as a little boy. Dustin had rolled his eyes a little at that but Steve had been quite proud of what he’d put together.

Plus, Dustin had promised to help him with the math.

But here Steve was, well over an hour into the campaign, and he was struggling.

Cheeks burning, he turned to Dustin yet again.

���Wait, which one am I rolling?” he whispered.

Dustin rolled his eyes. The kid had been patient at first, but it was beginning to wear thin.

Steve was beginning to wear thin.

“The D10, Steve,” Dustin hissed.

“Right,” Steve nodded, grabbing for one of the dice.

“That’s the D8, Steve,” Mike said wearily.

Steve’s cheeks flushed even hotter, and he grabbed the other dice, rolling it quickly.

“Ahhh...seven,” Steve announced.

“You slash at the goblin, your blade cutting deep into its chest, the creature gurgling and reeling backwards…” Eddie leant over the table, giving a dramatic recount of events.

Steve smiled, unable to help it. His boyfriend was having such a good time, and even if Steve wasn’t enjoying himself so much, well, that was ok. He could do this, for Eddie.

“…but it scrabbles back to its feet, weak but alive,” Eddie finishes.

Mike groaned and slapped the table.

“It has to be almost dead,” Lucas announced.

“Yeah, but there’s still four others,” Mike pointed out.

“This one must be on two hit points or less,” Will surmised.

How did he know that? Steve frowned, let the kids talk amongst themselves. His gaze wandered over to Eddie, watching him lean back in his chair, eyes shining. He shot a wink at Steve when he caught him looking, then frowned a little, obviously noticing Steve wasn’t looking all that comfortable.

You ok? He mouthed at him.

Steve nodded quickly.

But he felt small.

Grow the fuck up, you’re fine.

“…Steve!” Mike groaned.

Steve’s attention snapped back to the kids. “What?”

“Stop staring at Eddie and tell us how many hit points you’ve got left.”

“Um…” Steve glanced down at the piece of paper in front of him. He’d scribbled some numbers down like Dustin had told him to every time his character had taken damage, but there were a lot of numbers there and he wasn’t sure they all actually related to his hit points…

“Give it here,” Dustin snatched the paper from him impatiently, peering down at it.

Steve waited while Dustin assessed his work, the feeling vaguely reminiscent of being back in school, his teachers reading over his work with a disappointed shake of their heads.

“This can’t be right, Steve,” Dustin sighed. “It says you’re on twelve hit points…is that a twelve? Your writing’s messy.”

Steve nodded. “Yours isn’t much better, pea-brain,” he mumbled, just to shoot something back at the kid.

Dustin narrowed his eyes at him. “You must have less than that because of the damage you took in the last round. You’re probably down to…eight at the most, by now.”

“Just make it eight, then,” Steve grumbled.

“Eight it is, big boy,” Eddie agreed.

“It doesn’t work like that, though,” Mike huffed. “You actually have to keep track of this stuff Steve, there’s no point playing if you just make the numbers up.”

“It doesn’t matter, really,” Will tried to intervene quietly. “It can just be eight.”

Dustin picked up his pencil, drawing some columns on Steve’s paper. “Ok, so just use this one column to keep track of damage, don’t write all over the page. There’s your total hit points at the top, and every time you take damage, write it down under there, ok? And then just take it off the total. Simple.”

Like it was that fucking easy. Maybe for them, it was. They didn’t get every number mixed up in their brain, they didn’t stare at a single digit trying to put some numeric value behind it and coming up with zilch.

Dustin was trying to help, Steve knew. But his tone of voice was so fucking condescending that it had Steve squirming in his seat, wishing he was anywhere else.

He felt Eddie’s eyes on him.

“Come sit by me, Stevie, I’ll help you keep track.” Eddie said gently.

“You’ll just go easy on him, and that’s not fair!” Mike whined.

“Can it, Wheeler,” Eddie snapped at him.

“Just because he can’t do basic math.”

“Right, you get to roll with disadvantage now, just for that,” Eddie told him smugly.

Mike was retorting with something, but Steve didn’t hear it.

His pulse was thumping in his ears, his cheeks on fire. The years were stripped from him, the sensitive child he’d tucked away inside a long time ago forced to the surface.

“Look, just carry on without me,” Steve muttered, and stood up quick enough that his chair scraped on the floor.

“Steve -” Dustin started, but Steve was finished, striding towards the stairs and blinking back tears.

He wasn’t going to cry in front of the kids, not over a fucking game, not over something his boyfriend loved so much.

But they were coming faster than he could blink them back as he headed out of Mike’s stuffy basement and out to the driveway, the cold night air caressing his flushed face.

This was supposed to have been a treat for Eddie. It was supposed to be fun, and Steve had ruined the night by being fucking stupid.

A tear tracked down his cheek , Steve losing the battle against them. He’d just drive home, he decided. Steve had come straight from work that day, so Eddie had come separately in his van, he wouldn’t be inconvenienced.

And then they could finish their game in peace, without having to treat Steve like a five-year-old.

He was getting in the driver’s seat when Eddie ran to him, both hands reaching for him.

“Stevie…” Eddie murmured softly.

“I’m sorry,” Steve mumbled, dragging his sleeve across his face, smudging the tears there.

“Why? The kids were being assholes, I’ve already yelled at them.”

Steve shook his head. “I was just slowing everyone down, they were getting frustrated, I get it.”

“No, sweetheart, they were being rude,” Eddie corrected him. “Especially Wheeler.” Eddie brushed his thumbs across Steve’s cheeks, crouching down beside the open driver’s door. “I’ve told them to pull their heads in. Do you…do you want to come back inside?”

“Eds…” Steve leant into his hands a little. “I’m no good at it. I really wanted to try, for you, and I’m so sorry I ruined it, but there’s too many numbers and I can’t keep track of everything and it takes me so fucking long and it’s embarrassing because I can’t even keep up with a bunch of kids, and I just feel like I’m back at school again.”

Eddie cupped his cheeks again, tilting Steve’s head to look at him. “Hey. You haven’t ruined anything, they did. I’m so happy you came along tonight, because I know you did it for me. But look, D&D doesn’t have to be your thing -”

“But -”

“It doesn’t,” Eddie cut in. “Just like…your balls in laundry basket games aren’t mine. But I like hanging around while you and Wayne watch them, and I love how excited you get about it, and how you sit there with that fucking pretty smile…”

Steve huffed out a small laugh, and Eddie grabbed his wrist to press a kiss to the inside of it.

“But I don’t know what’s going on most of the time,” Eddie continued. “It makes you happy, and that’s enough for me. So, I don’t want you to feel like you have to play D&D just for me if it’s not something you enjoy. It’s more than enough that you listen to my ideas, that you help me write -”

“I don’t really,” Steve said quietly.

“You do! Or have you forgotten who came up with that fucking amazing twist with the elven prince?”

“I got it from a movie,” Steve argued.

“So? I didn’t think of it, and it had the little shrimps completely stumped.”

Steve managed a small smile. “I do like some of the stories,” he admitted quietly. “But I think…I just wanna go home, ok? You can carry on.”

Eddie shook his head. “I’m gonna get them to pack up in there. I’ll drop them home, then follow you back, ok?”

“Steve?” came Dustin’s voice from behind Eddie, small and hesitant.

Steve quickly straightened up in his seat, wiping a hand across his face.

“Yeah, buddy?” he replied, his voice a little hoarse.

“I’m…I’m sorry. That we weren’t more patient. It’s ok if you struggle with numbers, and we should’ve helped more.”

“It’s ok, Dusty,” Steve told him.

Eddie frowned, reached down to squeeze Steve’s hand, then turned to Dustin. “It isn’t ok,” he argued. “But it was nice of you to apologize.”

Dustin nodded. “If you want to try again sometime, I promise I’ll help more. I…I really liked having you play.”

“Thanks,” Steve managed.

“Tell Wheeler to start crafting his apology too,” Eddie said firmly, still cradling Steve’s hand in his own. “Otherwise he’s rolling with disadvantage for the whole next session.”

Dustin’s eyes widened a little before he nodded.

After packing up, the kids waited sheepishly by Eddie’s van. Eddie stayed crouched next to Steve a moment longer.

“Go home, get comfy on the couch, and pick out any movie you want to watch, ok?” Eddie murmured to him. “When I get home I’m gonna order us some pizza, and I’m gonna cuddle the shit out of you, understand?”

Steve laughed softly. “Sounds perfect.”

“Good. I’ll see you soon, sweetheart.”

___

[happeehippie]

instagram. j.b.

summary: follow along with joe and his wife evie as they go through is football career.

*face claim is yasmin quintana*

series masterlist.

evie

liked by joeyb_9, lahjay10_, and 780,726 others

evie: “holding hands is like touching souls” 🤍

view all 5,729 comments…

user: how are we supposed to just live with this

user: i’m so jealous

joeyb_9: my girl. 😚

> evie: always always always.

user: do you think he knows she just posts him for attention?

> user: do you think he will ever see this comment? probably not.

user: i’m feeling extremely single right now.

lahjay10_: y’all be holding hands like crazy

> evie: we locked for life. 🤍🔒

user: wait this is actually so sweet, imagine how many pics she has of them just holding hands. she’s so down bad.

joeyb_9

liked by evie, lahjay10_ and 304,837 others

joeyb_9: Green Goblin

view all 2,681 comments…

user: Great football Joe!

user: SHIESTYYYYYY

millyg: joey tell ev to text me back.

user: green like that bank account baby

user: that’s hot

evie: 🥦🥒🍏🫛🫑🥑

> joeyb_9: you gotta calm down.

user: QB is always sharp

evie

liked by bengals, joeyb_9, and 990,864 others

evie: out here

view all 1,863 comments…

user: tell jb to pop a perc and get back out there

> evie: kind of a tactless comment my guy, he’d be out there if he was able.

user: man screwed my fantasy team

> evie: yeah forget your fantasy team, it wasn’t his fault.

user: brave woman

joeyb_9: jacket=dope

user: chefs kiss

user: go bengals!

millyg: i love to see you this happy 💗��

joeyb_9

liked by bengals, lahjay10_, and 709,950 others

joeyb_9: Just another stage on the journey of life

view all 11,306 comments…

user: praying for you my boy

nfl: 🙏🏼

evie: keep your head up baby, i love you.

> joeyb_9: couldn’t do it without you

joemainmixon: We got you brother!

user: the “he’s back” post next season is going to go crazy

user: get better soon lover

lahjay10_: the comeback will be legendary

user: revenge tour for real next year

cjstroud: 🙏🏾

user: joey take my wrist, i don’t need it.

evie

liked by millyg, joeyb_9, and 91,736 others

evie: another gamedey in jungle. if you’re not in cincy you stink!

view all 7,728 comments…

user: still going to games??

> evie: ofc. those are my boys!

millyg: my little sweet pea

> evie: 🫛

user: my mom loves you (me too btw)

> evie: i luv ur mom. 😁💗

user: love to see you smiling

user: how is jb?

> evie: inspiring. 💗

joeyb_9: i like you.

> evie: omg thanks for sharing. i like you 2. 🤩🤪

joeyb_9

liked by lahjay10_, evie, and 852,100 others

joeyb_9: Learn to love discomfort

view all 5,793 comments…

lahjay10_: haha i just know you uncomfortable sitting like that. that’s what you mean by the caption?

> evie: lmao ur goofy

user: let’s go jb6

user: biggest qb in the league

user: happy birthday joe we love you!

evie: criss cross applesauce???

> joeyb_9: it’s called indian style. 🙄

> evie: is that what the big kids are calling it??

> user: ev is on his ass

user: it doesn’t go unnoticed you being on the sidelines for your teammates

user: are you and ev going to celebrate your special day?

> evie: we don’t skip bdays around here. even if you have a major surgery..

user: happy birthday king joe!

evie

liked by millyg, joeyb_9, and 890,110 others

evie: bits and pieces

view all 3,611 comments…

user: wishing you and joe a lovely off season and smooth recovery

> evie: 💗💗💗

user: you’ll be back killing it next season! i can’t wait

user: okay, the teddy shirt? CUTE!

> evie: one of my favs

user: always giving us a peek at jb

> user: it’s funny how ev used to be the only one that called him jb and now it’s become one of his many nicknames.

user: going to be missing you this off season.

joeyb_9: puddle pic is 10/10 cuteness

> evie: 🥹💗

joeyb_9

liked nfl, bengals, and 891,028 others

joeyb_9: Sorry for the missed time. Return of the Jedi

view all 10,112 comments…

user: i hope my gf doesn’t see this post

user: miss u

user: see you next year daddy joe

evie: joe you can’t just post this on a monday morning with no warning.

> user: ev saying what we are all thinking

> joeyb_9: oh, i don’t know the rules. i thought this was my account.

> evie: smart. ass.

user: BURROW REVENGE ARC

user: can’t wait to see you back!

evies stories

* last part for now. 😢 *

if you want me to pick this back up once the season starts, give this a big ❤️ hehehe.

[prismatoxic]

chilchuck tierlist of babysitting fentripp, people who he absolutely knows he can count to not kill his child and people who he knows will end up doing something wrong (even if by accident)

GOOD QUESTION ANON

the original post about my chilaios fankid, fentripp, for anyone who didn't see it

anyone who isn't here hasn't offered or chilchuck hasn't considered. however i can be persuaded to add more entries with compelling arguments for them

S TIER

Kabru - follows the rules to the letter. will have fen fed, bathed, taught, played with, and asleep by all the exact right times. if anything diverges from the plan, it's because fen is a goblin, not because kabru did anything wrong. fen likes when kabru reads to him, he does funny voices.

Senshi - follows his own ideas of what's best, but shockingly good at it nonetheless. very careful, and considerate, and makes sure he knows where fen is at all times. fen likes him a lot and they always have a really good time together.

Meijack - doesn't want kids of her own, but is pretty good with them anyway, and she's extremely protective of her little brother. knows exactly what chilchuck expects, and also has a pretty good sense of what he'd approve of when instructions are unclear. strikes a perfect balance of making fen have so much fun that he doesn't realize no mischief is actually being caused.

A TIER

Laios - tends to stray off the beaten path a little, but will always defer to his husband so he's never gonna get too wild with it. he also loves fen more than life itself and won't intentionally put him in any manner of harm's way, no matter what. maybe doesn't count as a babysitter since he's literally fen's other dad, but as far as chilchuck is concerned, anyone outside of himself is a risk if he's not also there, so.

Falin - fen is obsessed with her, and the feeling is more or less mutual. she loves him so, so much. but... she's also maybe not chilchuck's ideal as far as babysitting goes, because she's extremely susceptible to the puppy eyes. can drop down to d tier for a few weeks if fen manages to lead her on some batshit adventure, but generally speaking, chilchuck trusts her.

Yaad - similar to kabru in his ability to follow chilchuck's guidelines to a T, and fen does seem to like him, but he's not always fully prepared for what caring for a young child entails. still, he's a decent enough choice, if he's available.

Dandan - weirdly good at this. chilchuck left the guild to him for a reason--dandan's got a good head on his shoulders, something that's only become more true over time--but "babysitting" wasn't a skill chilchuck anticipated him having. he might shirk responsibility from time to time, but in a "alright, you can stay up an extra hour" way, not a neglectful way.

B TIER

Marcille - fen is safe with her, and she'll do her best (and so very badly wants to be the best aunt ever), but she tends to overthink things and can get distracted easily. also, the older he gets, the angrier fen gets if she mentions magic, because he thinks elves are abusing the spirits. (she tries to default to gnome magic around him but he still side-eyes her for a while. don't worry, they bond properly when he's more self-sufficient.)

Namari - a little nervous about caring for a kid by herself, but she's actually really fond of fen. she does most things right, and chilchuck's not necessarily ideologically opposed to her teaching his son dwarfish swear words, but she's more interested in having fun than being a guardian so she's not the perfect choice.

C TIER

Flertom - perfectly decent, most of the time. loves getting to care for a child (desperately wants her own someday). can get a little sidetracked playing pretend-mom, though, and doesn't always have the best ideas for what to do, which doesn't always end well.

D TIER

Puckpatti - way too scatterbrained for this job, and also way too eager to goof off in whatever way fen indicates he thinks would be fun. she's alright with her sisters since they tend to override her poor decisions and keep her on track, but by herself, she's a last resort.

Izutsumi - basically an older sister to fen, but this is rarely a good thing. he loves her and they have great fun together, but leaving them alone is a recipe for disaster, and even kabru's had to step in and shut the idea down officially. "don't put me in a position where i have to explain how a cat and a toddler burned down an entire castle wing."

F TIER

Shuro - not good with kids. actively kind of scared of this one in particular. will agree if asked, but that's because he's bad at saying no, and chilchuck doesn't intend to ask. (and laios needs to stop thinking it'll work out for anyone.)

Mickbell (& Kuro) - only offered to be a nuisance, or at least that's what chilchuck assumes. kuro might be able to handle it on his own in a pinch, maybe, but there's no point trying to peel him and mickbell apart when there are so many better options.

Mithrun - with kabru? passable. by himself? absolutely the fuck not.

[the-only-teruteru-fan]

In “Defense” Of (Liking) Teruteru (and why I’ve got a gripe with the anime)

!! MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD FOR “DANGANRONPA 2” AND “THE END OF HOPE’S PEAK ACADEMY” !!

As the blog name suggests, I love Teruteru. I’m his number one fan. I don’t support a single thing he does, but I think he’s a lot more than the flanderized “horny goblin” he’s made out to be.

To get something out of the way: though I do find myself getting attached to the stupid, simpy-horny-freaks that anime has to offer (as abhorrent as Mineta is, my love for him is unparalleled), I don’t support their actions or behavior. However, I’ll admit that I do find myself laughing at their jokes / moments. I think this trope works fine because the butt of the joke is almost always the pervert in question. As well as this, I would like these characters a lot less if any of the other characters seemed genuinely upset or traumatized by their behavior- but no, especially in Teruteru’s case, the general attitude is just that of annoyance. They think he’s a nuisance, but they don’t see him as an actual threat, and he has enough personality that the cast is still believably upset when he’s executed.

I also think the character in question being physically small is important. It makes it very visually clear that the “goblin” in question is powerless and nothing to actually be taken seriously (in this fictional scenario- IRL, let’s be real, a pervert’s a pervert).

But as far as why I like Teruteru himself: though it started just because I find it funny to “collect” horny little goblin characters, I like much more of him than that.

First of all, though many others don’t, I like his voice and design! I think he looks visually appealing from a character standpoint, even if he doesn’t completely fit in with the other characters (this is especially agregious in the anime, largely because I think they made him a bit bigger than he was in the game? Not weight-wise, more like they used photoshop, grabbed the corner, and scaled him up)

His pre-execution moments are genuinely heartbreaking / compelling, as is his motive. Though there are many instances of desperation and self-sacrifice as far as muddies in Danganropa, as of the first and second games we rarely get something as heart-wrenching as Teruteru’s. He’s helping take care of his sickly mother, and enrolls at Hope’s Peak in hopes of being able to save the family diner. He’s desperate to convince himself that everything is okay, and that his mother is alive and well- and kills to see her again / protect the rest of the group (he at least CLAIMS to have committed the murder in an attempt to protect the rest of the gang. He did genuinely care about them, to some degree.)

Teruteru also has an endearing sort of cockiness to him- what with his insistence at being called a chef and his indignance at anyone insulting his cooking (or implying it to be anything less than perfect).

Though this is more headcanon territory, I also think we see at least slight implications that he could actually be a little insecure:

-hiding his accent

-constant advances on others (potentially to appear more confident? Avoid judgement? Uncertain)

-insisting on being called a “chef” instead of a “cook”

-frequent hair combing

These are just headcanons, but needless to say he’s got more to him than his trope.

He’s endearingly cocky, he cares about his family, he doesn’t take any of the rejection he gets personally (even if he maybe should take it to heart and…yunno…stop), he’s good at what he does-

And because of this, I don’t like how he’s characterized in the anime. To clarify- I still enjoy watching the Despair Arc of the anime, because even if I dislike the handling of certain characters it’s very very enjoyable to see them animated and interacting. Same goes for Teruteru-

But….uh….

Remember how I said that a big part of why he works is his obvious inability to actually do anything? And his…general lack of actual actions to back up his flirtatious remarks? He’s a creep, but a creep with standards of some sort.

That goes out the window in the anime, where he has literal drugs with him to get people going. Though some people seem to overlook the fact that aside from the one he gave to Akane (something she wasn’t upset by, anyways, although Akane is dumb [love you Akane]), the other substances were used without his permission or without listening to him. This doesn’t defend him HAVING these things, don’t get me wrong- but still. We see him actually threaten Hiyoko, actually have items that could endanger other students- and we don’t even get to see his more likable traits? And to me, this doesn’t seem like something he’d do in the game.

In the game, his primary traits are- of course- “horny” and “cook”. But he’s also cocky, frightened, “charming” (heavy quotes), and very caring to those close to him- whereas in the anime, it’s just “horny” and “cook”. I don’t know. :/

In the anime he’s portrayed as an actual threat. As well as this, in the game we never see him get angry until his trial where he’s accused of murder. Even if he’s a creep in any other instance, he never seems to think he’s entitled to anything? And he’s generally chipper, too. Despite his creepy personality, he’s surprisingly endearing / likable. In the game he comes across as mischievous, and in the anime he comes across as threatening- and maybe that’s a bias on my end? But still. If the same thing happened in the GAME- somebody using something he had without his permission- I feel like he’d get indignant and maybe a bit snarky, not as furious and genuinely dangerous as he seems in the anime.

TLDR: There are plenty of reasons to like Teruteru! The anime does not give us any of those. I think the “The End of Hope’s Peak Academy” anime kind of butchered (no pun intended) his character. Or at least heavily flanderized it (as it did with most of the Despairs).

Sorry this is a bit messy! This is entirely my opinion, and is more of a proofread braindump than a well structured essay~

[cactusspatz]

June recs

June was full of Neil Gaiman fandoms: first I rewatched Good Omens S1 (S2 on Friday!!!) and then plowed through my backlog of fic to read, and then I watched The Sandman. So there's six Good Omens recs, two Sandman recs, and one lone but lovely Goblin Emperor rec.

GOOD OMENS

Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach by Nnm / @mouseonamoose Amazing story about Crowley going to therapy, from his therapist's POV. The author clearly knows their stuff and Aubrey is a vivid character in her own right with her own journey to go on. This one's been recced all over, but it really is that good.

dearly departed by attheborder / @areyougonnabe In which Crowley gets discorporated and many shenanigans ensue - the London occultist underworld, lust-demons, Hell bureaucracy, Aziraphale vs loopholes, fake marriage, and of course, a happy ending. Slightly morbid at times but a fun hilarious romp.

Temptation by out_there / @out-there-tmblr Lovely look at Crowley tempting Christ (as he mentions to Aziraphale), and the lasting effect it has on him.

the deft, sweet gesture of your hand by deadgreeks / @mortuarybees Post-S1, Crowley turns up injured at the bookshop and Aziraphale takes care of him. Such a tender romance, such warm h/c. Poetry! Knitting! Pining! Ferociously protective Aziraphale!

Hell to Pay by battle_cat / @fuckyeahisawthat "In the midst of the Great Fire of London, Crowley does an emergency good deed too undemonic for Hell to ignore." Wistful h/c.

Lead me to the banquet hall by obstinatrix & wishwellingtons In which Crowley doesn't eat around Aziraphale because he has too many Feelings about it - and then Aziraphale finds out. Creative, delightful, hot, and well-characterized!

You can also find my older Good Omens recs on Pinboard!

SANDMAN

Spite (Is As Good A Reason As Any) by Blue_Sunshine In which Hob doesn't just build an inn and pine after 1989, but hires Johanna Constantine to help him track down Dream. Great AU in many directions, and the Hob-Johanna friendship is a complete scene-stealing delight. (If you like them as much as I did, there's another WIP that just finished: Totus Mundus Agit Histrionem, which kicks off with Johanna rescuing Hob from a demonic possession.)

Passing the Time by Anonymous Dream passes time in the fishbowl by quietly terrorizing his guards. (The author tagged this 'Dream is petty and terrifying' and I couldn't agree more.) Viciously funny but also a little heartbreaking.

GOBLIN EMPEROR

Between the Grave and the Well by Sphragis "In which Iäna Pel-Thenhior catches a fever and Thara Celehar catches feelings." Gorgeous hurt/comfort-y get-together that really captures the characters and the world.

[moonyasnow]

~Info stuff~

Hello! My name is Moonyasnow; call me Moony for short!

My fandoms:

TWST/Twisted Wonderland [ main! ]

Fire Emblem (Fates/Awakening/Three Houses)

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure (anime only)

I have an NSFW side blog here!

{ Image template Here! }

Non-OC Masterlist!

OC Masterlist! (please ask about them I am on the floor begging OTL)

~ T A G S ~ #moony reblog #moony's writing #moony's art #saving for future writing use #moony yaps #moony's moots

#👁️👁️hngggg…dragon boy [ Moony Malleus-posting, reblog or not ] #whiny little goblin baby funny 'ism' man yandere pyromaniac choir boy my beloved [ Moony Rollo-posting, reblog or not ]

W r i t i n g s t u f f !

I like writing! :) I wanna write more, but figuring out what to write is usually my Achilles' Heel— so that's why I'm taking writing requests! Only really writing for Twisted Wonderland, as well as my OCs!

State of writing request box: C L O S E D !

Please try to be specific with your requests (for headcanons, a specific type of Reader, for fics a specific scenario) because sadly, too much freedom makes it harder for me to get ideas ; ;

I can write either short fics or headcanons

VERY open to just straight up out-there requests. The more specific the better honestly! I welcome all the freaks here!

No NSFW (Suggestive/implied is ok tho!)

No breaking-up style prompts. But Angst is VERY welcome! I’m also very very open to writing prompts that include things like past abuse, mental illness stuff, and generally darker topics. Yandere stuff, too!

Lilia, Ortho, Grim, NRC staff, Gidel and any Family Characters will always be platonic

I won't currently write for: Epel, Lilia, Che'nya, Rollo, Fellow Honest, Gidel, Skully or any Book 7 characters — I just don't feel like I have a good enough understanding of them to write them yet.

I ALSO REFUSE TO WRITE ANYTHING FOR CROWLEY THAT IS NOT HIM SUFFERING BECAUSE I HATE HIM WITH A BURNING PASSION

A request is always allowed no matter the subject material! Just know I might not write some that make me uncomfortable. ADHD + school (+perfectionism) means requests could take a little while, so please be patient— it doesn't mean I've forgotten about it or am ignoring it; I'm just a slow writer, hehe…

I WILL LITERALLY DIGITAL KISS YOU IF YOU ASK ANYTHING ABOUT ANY OF MY OCS THEY ARE MY BABIES AND I LOVE THEM TO DEATH. I WILL PRIORITIZE ANY OC ASKS BECAUSE THEY ARE MY BABIES AND I AM B I A S E D

[lucrezianoin]

Would love to hear your thoughts on how Astarion is at the tiefling celebration vs the goblin one because I just got the latter and the difference in how he acts is as stark as the other companions (minus lae’zel) imo, just less explicit.

FUNNY YOU ASK BECAUSE...

I was obsessed with that for a bit and wrote far too much on it!! But I think from that and from some responses people gave me on reddit when I posted it, it looks like he's far more relaxed and subtle at the tiefling party.

It's hard to say why. My initial ideas were that:

A) he's changing his he acts and interacts with others based on Tav. So at the goblin party with an evil Tav he'll be more direct, as he imagines that's what Tav wants. But a good Tav might prefer him more subtle and more likely to make their encounter seem some cute mutual seduction

B) In general, he might feel threatened by evil Tav, which is why his "what" is expressed so differently. He just saw them slaughtering refugees, while he might feel more secure from bodily arm in the good scenario. So evil tav "say please" + "good job" takes a more militaristic tone of ordering him around than the good Tav teasing "good boy".

And someone added another option:

C) he might feel more unstable with a good Tav. Evil Tav just lost some allies (wyll left, no karlach or she left, no halsin, gale threatening to leave) so Astarion might be indignant and surprised if Tav makes him beg. He's more sure of his role as an ally because Tav has no other choice. But in the good party, Tav just gained Halsin, all his companions are there are mainly approving. Astarion's only role is to make sure he can keep Tav in his little manipulation circle, and he needs to work extra hard for it, so show no disdain.

[thrashtrashh]

TENNA C. ROOK

*HEY! *WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PIPSQUEAKS DOIN' 'ERE?! *'YER IN THE MIDDLE OF A SET! *WHO ME? *'YER TELLIN' ME YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I AM?! *TENNA. TENNA C. ROOK!

---------------------------------

Hey! First post here! So! Tenna, right? What a guy! Since everyone's making up designs for him left and right I thought I'd put my hat in the mix as well.

DESIGN CHOICES:

So, well before I begin with the design. The name. Tenna C. Rook. Well, I don't have to explain Tenna, I guess. Rook's there because I'm a firm believer in chess theory, and the C is there because it makes the "rook" look like "crook", because he's a criminal, I tell you, a criminal! Also, if you put the Tenna at the end it spells out CRT, and that's kinda funny.

THE COLORS:

Green! Yeah, I love green! I chose green for two main reasons: -It seems that the main villains are going from right to left on the color bar thingy.

Queen is light blue, so I thought that good old Tenna over here would be green.

-You can't spell GREED without the first four letters of GREEN. Tenna's that type of guy you know? He cares a lot about THE MONEY. Apart from being a big shot producer, he's an avaricious little troll.

Apart from green, there's no real reasoning behind any of the other colors. Red's just there to not make his suit look to same-y, if you catch my drift. White's there to fit in with King and Queen. Also, headcanon that Tenna's like Lancer's uncle or something like that.

THE SUIT:

I think pinstripe suits are the best thing ever. I am a pinstripe suit supremacist. Of course, there's a reason other than my love for these types of suits: mobsters! I think Chapter 3's gonna be like, a look into the Golden Age of Hollywood through Toby Fox' lens. I could be totally wrong here, and to be honest, I'm probably totally in the wrong, but y'know it could be fun. Mobsters + TV is always fun! The square-y shoulder pads on his suit, combined with the hat are supposed to kind of look like the top part of a rook chess piece.

It's probably really stupid, but whatever.

The little antenna on his hat is a thing he uses to control stuff from long distances, by the way. I didn't put it in the dialogue sprites because I tried and it looked ugly.

The T-Belt, T standing for Tenna of course, is there because he's got a company to promote! And he's got a huge ego, so he has to let everyone know who he is!

GENERAL SHAPE, SIZE AND HAIR

I tried to make him really squarish, to contrast with King and Queen since they're both rather round and curvy. Also, like I said, the top part of a rook is square-y so that also influenced his shape, as well as the fact that TV's are generally rectangle/square-like, so yeah.

Sprite-wise he's about the same size as Kris. I thought it'd be funny to go from these pretty tall, imposing villains to this little Wario-like goblin. The size is also inspired by the "really short leader who's really smart but gets angry really quickly" trope. I don't know the name of the trope, but there's Joe Dalton from the Lucky Luke comic strips that made me fall in love with it, so here you go, this one's for you Joe.

The hair. So, I wasn't going to give him hair originally, but I thought it'd be good to not have the head be entirely white with a green hat. I thought of Johnny Depp's Willy Wonka in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, because frankly, his hair looked stupid in that movie and I think it's really funny to give characters stupid hair. I can easily imagine Susie mocking him for his stupid hair. Also, technically not his hair. It's a wig, and I think it'd be funny for it to fall off during the final boss fight.

Oh yeah, also the shadowy part covering the eyes is supposed to look like a club, because King's got a spade-like thing going on and Queen has got a heart-like thing going on, so yeah.

All-in-all, I'm pretty proud of how this thing turned out. I saw a lot of tv-heads, lots of big and bulky figures and a Jerma thrown in there for good measure, so I tried to stay as far as possible from those, as to not get too inspired by them.

Anyways, see ya bye!

[luckyashes-art]

Do you have any OCs other than your Splatoon ones? I'd love to learn about them!

WAAA ‼️‼️ I do actually !! Though I have . quite a lot of them 💀💀

Other than Splatoon OCs I got uhh-- primarily D&D OCs/Characters, Homestuck OCs, and a few actual original characters JDHSFSD some of which I've doodled and posted about before !

I'll stick a few of em down in the read more so the post isn't immediately unbearably long 🗣️‼️

Hmm let's start off with some original characters

Evix (they/them) is one that I've actually been working a lot more on lately !! They're kinda like an undead creature and live on essentially a post-apocalyptic Earth centuries later (might make a whole separate post on all that eventually because they're a part of an original species I wanna make)

Uhh then some original humans (w/ powers ofc) would include Anthony (he/him, one of my oldest OCs creation wise, in short a traumatized young adult with horrible anxiety and is struggling to get thru life 🗣️), Raymond and his niece Raven ( he/him & she/her, victims of loss of a brother and father (respectively), and they live in a world where ppl have elemental-based abilities !), and uhh Kacey (they/she/he, specifically with a c-- they're a cyborg (lost an arm) with no recollection of who they were (calls themself Kacey because of initials "K.C" branded on their robo arm (it stands for their actual name, Katya Cameron)))💥

[unfortunately not gonna doodle any of my other OCs so Evix can have special treatment LMAO]

Next up we got uhh some D&D characters !! [Who actually I have Hero Forge figures of so I'll add those]

Starting off with the first legit D&D character I've made, Glow of the Sun (aka "Sun" - she/her) 😼 Tabaxi Druid (Circle of the Shepard)!! After escaping the massacre of her tribe in the forest, Sun was taken in and mentored by a human druid named Sage (they/them)

Another one I got would be Gale (he/they), who's more-so inspired by my first attempt at a D&D character (who then got scrapped). But basically he's an Air Genasi Warlock (Pact of the Tome) that was raised only by his father until he managed to contact his mother (who was a djinn (an air genie) !! so yea, his patron's his mom LMAO [His Hero Forge is outdated so please keep that in mind ☹️ ]

Lets see ermm I also got !! A Dragonborn Artificer (Battle Smith) named Kai (real name Kazys) Tempest (she/her). Paralyzed from the waist down upon . hatching? She was left to be raised by her mother, which left the little dragonborn spiteful to show that she isn't useless. So she learned and became someone who creates things like prosthetics and kinds of aids to help others who may need it :D

I'll then drop off a last D&D character for now (cuz I rlly do have a lot), but this one's a personal favorite !! Meet Bone (she/he/they/it [does not care]), my funny lil Goblin Barbarian (Path of the Beast) !! Abandoned by her tribe and miraculously raised by a pack of wolves, this feral lil goblin spends her days living a free and wild life while causing problems for adventurers and the like who cross her path :3

Anddd onto the final stretch, we got some Homestuck OCs !! [Which btw I have models made by Xamag's Fantroll Creator (which I also edited a lil) so ermm]

Starting off with my personal fav, here's Arvenii Traket (she/her, Sign: Gemun, Derse + Breath). Goldblood with telekinetic psiionics, this smart(-ish) lil gamer is a hot-headed, anti-social introvert that enjoys things like cosplaying and programming 💥💥

Obviously then gotta follow up with her moirail, Teikai Dregut (he/him, Sign: Lenius, Prospit + Hope) !? A very idiotic yet excitable Oliveblood that loves to run, talk, play tricks, and hang out with his bestie (they tend to take care of each other otherwise they'd constantly not do things like eat or shower 💀)

What else uuuhhhh . How 'bout I drop Raiiko Ekneer (she/her, Sign: Scoriborn, Derse + Rage) !? A laidback, prideful brute of a Ceruleanbloodthat enjoys FLARPing and taking people's treasure/valuables 💥💥 Fun fact tho !! She used to FLARP with Teikai back in the day (he doesn't play anymore). Anyway she doesn't really have many braincells yet she managed to score a kismesis and moirail LMAO

And then I think I'll drop off her kismesis cuz ngl I rlly wanted to show them together 😩but meet Valeri Krovet (she/her, Sign: Sagigo, Prospit + Space) !! This Indigoblood is yet another blue business woman who specializes and takes pride in creating custom weapons of high quality. Can be a little snappy, mainly due to agitation of being on high alert 24/7 (had a gnarly, violent experience when she was younger), but yea :3

What if I was also silly tho and dropped the rest of my main HS OCs' lil models (i would talk abt all of them in more detail but thats A LOT of text ,) 🥴🥴

I do also wanna mention that I have. Ancestors and Dancestors for these guys as well . AS WELL AS OCS THAT ARENT APART OF THE MAIN 12-- Thats a whole other thing tho

BUT YEAH THAT'S JUST. SOME OF WHAT I GOT-- TY ANON FOR THE ASK-

This took so long to type LMAO but I enjoyed it !!

[meredoubt]

Another decade of therapy just got added to Dirge's bills after Auntie Ethel! Oh boy!

Like he's a dreadful, morally pupating little man, right. Repugnant. A whole villain. When I logged off last night, it was after his Drow ass blustered at a goblin child who caught him stealing that, and I quote, "nothing is yours." Like, sir? I'm playing it, I get it, but role-playing means I'm picking the option that sounds closest to him, and sometimes it's just so damn mean. His takeaway from any moral uncomfortableness there would be that next time he just needs to not get caught, clearly. It is his fault he's feeling something, so he needs to get better, skillwise. No growing!!! Change will be under extreme duress!

Anyway. Auntie Ethel just did some damage.

So when he met her, she was very caring, right, and he was so startled (much like Astarion flirting, lmao) that he just let it happen. Psychopath goes very deer in headlights.

It was...nice, to let this old woman fuss over him. To tell her about his homicidal tendencies while she puttered around making potions. And she invited him to tea, and calls him Petal, and it's just been a very stressful few days for our little amnesiac murderous bard. He liked the attention. He's very fond of her, and he doesn't know what to do with it. This grown man probably starts daydreaming of going to live with Auntie Ethel or something, her petting his hair, maybe killing her when she's getting too old and feeling pain, because he loves her, whatever. You know. Normal thoughts.

So imagine his surprise when, down the disgustingly idyllic road to her teahouse, he sees it transform into a foreboding swamp (he likes that better, and is tickled by the redcaps, thats just charming and funny). This only serves to make him like her more, but then...she lies, right to his face. He doesn't care about Mayrina's brothers, he barely perceives them. But he doesn't like catching her lying to him. He doesn't like being tricked. So he calls her out archly, and she teleports off in a huff. And he stalks to her house.

He does half apologize, and she accepts, and they have their tea. Keep in mind, this freak drank out of the well, he knows what water she'd be using.

And, this is what sets what happens next: she reveals that she knows about the tadpoles. Offers to take his eye. He's startled, but considers it. If anyone could, maybe her, he could let her get that close.

But he pauses. He needs his eyes. His senses are what allowed him to catch her in the first place. So, a little sadly, he declines. They have a nice lunch.

Just deranged, the two, but they part friendly.

But again, now he's in full suspicion. It bothers him. So he sneaks down to see Mayrina. Because he's curious. And he tries to tell her to run away, because he doesn't want to actively help her escape Ethel. He's trying to have his cake and eat it, too, because Wyll's there, damn him. Ravengard's got his bard head all twisted up and making him think stupid thoughts about stories. His friends are ruining him.

So, obviously Ethel catches him. A fight breaks out. And he's panicking, because of course he doesn't want to kill her yet. He's not ready. Everything's getting mucked up. Damn it all!

Anand then this new mother figure scathingly hits him with, "Kneel, boy. Just like the matriarchs taught you to."

!!!

Like, we're in full psychological crisis mode. He hates this and doesn't want to be here. He doesn't remember any matriarchs but she clearly kept his background in mind when she was manipulating him. He's like, on the verge of full on grown man crying and it makes him so angry. He's livid.

He almost turns down her bargain, he wants her dead so badly, but he blinks through it furiously and thinks. She's right, she'll assuredly be back. And for once, he'd rather leave someone alive to remember what he took. So he threatens and roars and takes it all: the girl, Ethel's hair, everything not nailed down. He gives Mayrina her corpse husband not because he cares, but because he wants Ethel to have nothing. He would drink the corpse well dry if he could. Dirge smiles, wishes his auntie well with two sharp eyes.

Ethel seethes, bleading from her wounded head. And says she'll see him soon.

He lunges for the hag, right as she teleports away, intent on taking an eye. He wonders if she knows. He's certain she does.

She knows him.

[areeis]

Finally did the Big D fight, so this is more of a spoiler post than general talk.

I like how when you enter the Mountain Temple your pawns become pushy for the first time. They really want you to finish it and their charge along with it. I like that.

The temple area is so pretty and imposing. I know the statues are close to what the DDOnline sphinx looked like, and it would've been cool to see them in 1, too.

No, Spectre. Just thought you had some input here. After yapping at me for ages I thought it was really polite of my Dragon to patiently wait for my decision, as he has to. There are so many instances of the game making sure you understand that there are several cutoff points. I'm thankful for that, but it's also a bit overkill sometimes, like for the wyrm hunt... That whole sequence with the goblins is also really funny, cos you're never once jumping in as you probably would if given the chance.

Never much liked these Crash Bandicoot levels.. Welp, there goes the temple. He's destroying more of it as the fight goes on and even though it's also funny to see him try to get to me I wish there was a way for me to take it all in before he does.

The fight itself was fun. If I had to just compare fights 1 wins it for sure. 2 is understandably underwhelming while 1 is just pure spectacle. And ballistas make an appearance, too! But are actually 100% needed! What luck! Again I like how 1 is more hands-on with the lore, too, and one by one explains the steps after an Arisen successfully kills their Dragon. I also like how that emphasised even more that in 2 you really exploit a loophole by using the Godsbane and therefore spare the other Arisen, too. Love how you return after the fight and just go straight into celebratory campfire sex scene and then head home in the morning. That was SO CAMP I love it! Just completely ignoring the capital and everything! I like all the shit you get after the fight, too, including the enhancements. I barely enhanced anything, yet, so that's a plus. Pity that pawns get NOTHING, though. It makes me want to redo the fight as Mage, just so Spectre can later get an enhanced staff. It's fine for now anyway, I don't think I'm even close to my best gear yet, not for looks and not for stats.

Yea cool moss-and-mold sky now. (That wyvern engaged us but then just flew off :c)

I went right into the Everfall quest and encountered 2 eyes (fun fight) and a hydra (also fun fight) until I stopped one wakestone short to see more of the world first. I was getting too much into the dungeon crawling!

Some charas I could meet after the Big D fight so far and my thoughts on them: I know Eddy would've never been buds with me, but his downfall could've been more graceful imo suck it loser, you could've met the Big D before I did to renew your pact. Steffen is barely holding on and I thought he'd be more resilient after offering his help against the griffin. :/ Maximilian branded me a traitor even though we took a nice trip together AND he should know I'm not that kind of person after the whole trial period, but I guess acab even in dd. Arsmith is the same old optimist and his notice board survived, which is great, he prolly won't have a negative thought in him until his final moments. Madeleine is back so I could finally give her the idol, I hope she can set up shop again somewhere nice. I got a little reminder for her in case she tries to cutesy herself out of paying me back, but I wouldn't mind if she asked me for more money again right after. Selene must find it weird to also still stay in my house that I now share with Valmiro, but maybe not. Just for her own sake I hope she can find a way to not be attached to an Arisen any more. I like Valmiro's ambition to explore while also attracting misfortune left and right. Honestly being chosen by the Big D has to be the greatest misfortune after he was just able to set out to explore, I'm so sorry XD You're still welcome to stay for as long as you like, though. Pablos still takes my side as he always does, great friend. The Fool still hasn't officially changed his name to Dragonforged on his ID yet. I wonder if he's gonna move house now, since it suddenly got a little more dusty and he's not bound to this place by anything any more.

I'm still searching for the others I want to meet. I'm liking the subtle difficulty spike and new enemies, so I'm sure I'll enjoy wandering the world for a while :>

[urfavsimpingfanficwriter]

Hi!! If you don’t mind, do you think you could write one of those nsfw alphabet things for Jareth? (If not that’s okay<3) I can’t find anything smut wise for him and I’m currently obsessed with labyrinth (again)😭😭

Of course!!! I’m literally obsessed over both Jareth and those NSFW alphabet posts rn! Also, thank you for requesting stuff! It helps so much with writer's block lol.

Warnings: Obviously, smut; oral sex; semi-public sex mentions; breeding kink;

A= Aftercare (what they are like after sex)

I think Jareth would be so sweet and caring after sex. He would praise you, and run you a warm bath, or, if you are both too tired, he will just softly clean you up and make sure you are comfortable and leave you to sleep. He would always care about you before him. 

B= Body Part (their favorite body part of theirs and their partner’s)

Okay, so he would obviously love every inch of you, every perfection and imperfection. However, his favorite parts of your body would definitely be your thighs (and everything in between obviously), and your eyes. He loves how you look at him, even if it isn’t sexual, he just loves that someone looks at him with that kind of admiration and love. He loves your thighs because he loves leaving little kisses and nibbling on them watching you squirm. He loves both his mouth, due to how good he can make you feel with it, and his hands, for the same reason. If you can’t tell, everything he does he does for your pleasure.

C= Cum (pretty much anything to do with cum)

I find Jareth to be a pretty clean guy, giving him being a literal king, so he doesn’t try to make a mess. He will either cum inside you (if you are comfortable with it) or in his hand. He won’t really cum in your mouth, and won’t on your face, unless you say you want him to. Again, all about your pleasure babe. Your cum however, he would love to lick your come off his fingers (don’t ask why, he just would), and clean you up with his tongue if you aren’t too overstimulated.

D= Dirty Secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

So, he obviously watched you for quite a while before you were sent to the labyrinth or the castle, depending on the situation, and he obviously tried to give you as much privacy as he could. However, he occasionally would watch you change or masturbate. He just couldn’t help it. He never told you, and trust me, he never will. 

E= Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they are doing?)

This is controversial, but I don’t think he would be super experienced. Like, at all. He obviously knows what he is doing, and is good at it, but given his entire role as a goblin king, living in a whole fantasy world, where you have to be wished away or wish someone away to get there, he isn’t getting a lot of bitches. The ones he sets his eyes on usually don’t get past the labyrinth, and if they do, they are usually kind of scared of him by that point (which I get, but also I would fold so fast), so they usually take the person they wished away and leave. He was just lucky you decided to stay and be goblin royalty in his kingdom. 

F= Favorite Position (goes without saying what this means)

Jareth wants to see your face no matter what, so stuff where you are turned away from him is a no-go. He usually defaults to missionary, as it leaves him in a good amount of control, but still allows him to see that gorgeous face of yours. If you insist he will let you ride him, as long as you face him, and only if you practically beg him. He is very insistent that he is the one on top, but he will make exceptions for you.

G= Goofy (are they more serious or humorous in the moment?)

He is not usually ever ‘funny’ when having sexs with you. He sees it as a purely passionate moment. He, no matter how soft or rough, sees sex as ‘love making’. If you make a joke, trying to get comfortable, break tension, or just think of a good joke in the moment, he will 100% at least chuckle with you. But usually? Very serious.

H= Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He isn’t going to be bald down there or anything, but he will try to keep himself trimmed up. He is just as brightly blond down there as he is up top. He will most likely just have a patch just above his privates. (Also, he would 100% have a happy trail, just saying)

I= Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)

Super intimate the entire time. From start all the way to aftercare. He is always a romantic (and very dramatic) no matter if it was spontaneous, or if you guys had discussed having sex before hand. He will make sure to escort you to wherever you are having sex (most likely his bed). He will lead you by hand or maybe even carry you like the pure gentleman he is. Plenty of kisses, and plenty of ‘I love you’s. He will make it the most romantic thing that has ever happened to you, and will be so god damn proud of himself for it.

J= Jack off (do they masturbate? How often?)

He tries not to, but if you aren’t in the mood, or if you aren’t available, he will. He will do it very quickly, and very privately. He hates having to do it, but he can’t just leave the problem there, so he does if he must. And trust me, he thinks of only you when he does.

K= Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Jareth, to your surprise, isn’t an extremely kinky person. I think if you brought anything up to him, he would try it at least once. However, he only is really into slight bondage, like holding your hands so you can’t move them, or something like that. He does however have a huge breeding kink. It isn’t really about getting you pregnant, even though I think he would love to have a family with you, but it’s more about just watching himself drip out of you. It makes him go crazy.

L= Location (favorite places to do it)

He is a simple man (not really but just go with it), and he mainly just likes to do it in his bed. It is the most comfortable, and it is just easiest that way, but his throne is another place he adores doing it with you on. He will send all of the goblins away if he can’t stand it anymore, and make you see stars while never leaving his throne. He usually just has you ride him while he is sitting on his throne, but he also loves it when you ride his thigh while sitting in his lap. He loves how a wet patch forms on his pant leg. It really gets him going, however prepare for him to make you cum at least twice.

M= Motivation (what gets them going/what turns them on)

Whenever you get flustered or angry for any reason. Obviously, he hates you being upset, but you look amazing telling someone off, even if it’s him. It reassures him that you will be okay on your own here, but also, it makes him wild. Sometimes, he purposefully makes you flustered just to see you stumble over your words trying to tell him off. (he always apologizes with kisses, or more, afterwards).

N= No (something they wouldn’t do/ Hard no’s)

He wouldn’t do something that would inherently harm you, even if you say you like it. He would never hit you beyond maybe a little spanking here and there. He also wouldn’t do anything CNC, he just can’t do it. He doesn’t like roleplaying adult minor situations (due to him not being a pedo), and won’t do anything to do with a knife/blood kink. He loves you and your body too much to think he is actually hurting you. Anything else he will try at least once though<3

O= Oral (do they prefer giving? Receiving? Skill level?)

Jareth definitely prefers giving, but will gladly accept receiving as well. He loves seeing you squirm with his head in between your thighs, all those little noises you make. He almost could get off completely just doing that. Although, he won’t refuse you giving him head. He loves how good your mouth feels around him, but he would very much prefer his head being crushed by your thighs. Also, if you couldn’t already guess, he is fantastic. He will make you cum multiple times just using his mouth. Notice how I said he will and not he could. Yeah, he is going to be down there for a bit, loving every second of it. 

P= Pace (are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)

It really depends on both his mood, and the circumstances leading up to the moment to predict whether he is going to be fast, rough, or slow. If he had a bad day, he will just plow into you as fast and rough as he can, although to compensate for him being rough, he will whisper little praises in your ear. If he has a very good day, he will go more slowly, still keeping a decent pace, and give you little kisses all along your neck, chest, and face. If you ask him to, or if you are close, he will quicken his pace, or go a little more rough.

Q= Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He isn’t against them, they just don’t end up being very ‘quick’, more-so just spontaneous. If you are having sex, he is going to make you cum multiple times, so there is nothing stopping very quickly after it starts with him. 

R= Risk (are they game to experimenting? Do they take risks?)

Jareth will experiment with pretty much anything you ask him to unless it is in his ‘hard no’s’ category. He would be willing to take you in the goddamn labyrinth if you had asked him to, no matter what creatures and monsters may happen upon you two. So, yes, he would 100% be willing to take as many risks as possible just to make you feel good.

S= Stamina (how many rounds can they go? How long do they last?)

He is literal magic. He is fae. He can last as long as he wants. If he can tell you are getting worn out, or if he just wants to cum, he will allow himself to. Time wise, he can go at minimum three-four rounds, however if you aren’t too tired or overstimulated he can go for so many more. 

T= Toys (do they own any toys? Do they use them? On a partner? On themselves?)

I don’t think he would own any, as he can get the job done perfectly fine without them, but if you owned any and wanted him to use them on you he would be happy to(he might be a bit bitter about it since he is a drama queen but he will get over it). I don’t think he would ever use them on himself, though.

U= Unfair (How much do they like to tease)

Are you kidding me? Have you ever seen him interact with anything/anyone ever? He will tease you the entire time until you are begging and screaming for him to let you cum. He loves to give you pleasure, but he has to have a little fun, doesn’t he? 

V= Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

I don’t see Jareth as being particularly loud. He will probably just make little grunting noises, and if you are lucky, you will get a small whimper out of him

W= Wild Card (a random headcanon for the character)

He has completed untouched just by giving you head multiple times. The first time he was slightly embarrassed, but after you reassured him it was fine, he was fine with it, and it became a ‘praising’ tool for him to praise you with. Example: “See how good you make me feel just from watching you princess?”

X= X-Ray (let’s take a peek under those clothes)

Have you seen his bulge in the movie? Now, he is obviously big, I would say probably 7-8 inches, (maybe more since this is a literal fantasy world) and pretty girthy. Definitely not lacking in any department, if you catch my drift.

Y= Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He has a pretty high sex drive, but he can keep it under control for the most part. He is willing and happy to have sex whenever and wherever, all you have to do is ask!

Z= Zzz (how fast do they fall asleep afterwards?)

After aftercare, and after he makes sure you are comfortable and sleeping, he falls asleep decently fast. Probably within a good 10-15 minutes after you fall asleep, if he doesn’t have any duties to perform as king.

[snoofsnorfsneefsnoorf]

It’s so great to see another bird themed hetalia blog omg c’: do you have any general headcanons for the Nordic’s?

-Birdy <3

Aaahahhh, yessss I dooo!

Norway:

He's, well, small. I hc him to be around 160cm / 5'2 which doesn't make sense It's really just me projecting onto him-

His hair turns white in winter. Like very similar to Iceland. I just like the idea

He's actually really chaotic and a little goblin. He's behind at least 1/3 of the Nordic shenanigans and no one knows.

His favorite birds are Robin's. He just finds them cute

People think he appears outta nowhere sometimes but he really just walks very quietly

Denmark:

He's tall. Like, 193cm / 6'3. To be fair his hair kinda makes him big.

His hair is his bedhead. He just swoops over the back with a brush and applies some hair spray and that's it??

He's a lot calmer than people think, he just acts goofy because he doesn't want to be overlooked/forgotten.

His favorite birds are Swans and I'm pretty sure that isn't a big surprise.

He studied nuclear physics once. I have no idea how that entered my mind but it did.

Iceland:

He's average, really. Like, 5'6 / 170cm or so.

His hair is really, really thick and fluffy. He cares for it like it's his child

He's got depression and no I am not projecting-

Unsurprisingly, he loves puffins but penguins are close behind.

He really, really likes Axolotls.

Sweden:

He's also tall! He's, like, 6'3 / 193cm and a bit taller than Denmark. Minus his funky hair.

He doesn't like his hair. It gets so frizzy easily, he hates it.

He likes cross dressing sometimes

He likes Ducks. Their quacks sound funny to him and cheer him up.

He was dared by Norway to dress up liek a woman sometime in the 1600s and that's how he discovered that he likes cross dressing.

Finland:

He's a Itty bit taller than Nor with 5'3 / 165cm

He doesn't really care about his hair, but it is a bit thick

He's got that chub and his cheeks are very squisshhyyy

He likes Geese! They look cute and nice but are the spawn of Satan

He's got a degree in chemistry and, if he were able to, he'd become a teacher And he'd be a damn good teacher!

Thanks for teh ask! I hope you like it!!

[skullchicken]

On the 30.04.2021, Meinhart Bonifaz Brant, at that point an unassuming spindly 15-year old human reading Stanislaw Lem's "Star Diaries" on the living room couch, goblinized into a giant. About 50 years later, he would go on a few adventures under the street name "Alberich" (you see, it's very funny because he's not a dwarf).

In honor of goblinization-day, I'm compiling all of the art and (hopefully entertaining) stories I have of mah boi and the chicago shadowrun-group - so these are going to be some long posts. Everything under the cut so I don't clog up your dashboards and cut up into chunks. If you don't want to see it, blacklist "goblinization".

Part 1, the first mission:

So, why is Alberich? When I joined the shadowrun-group that would start my obsession, my english conversational skills weren't that great. Mostly trouble finding words and having a really thick german accent. Since I was a bit self-conscious about that, I decided to instead lean into it. Thus Alberich was a german-born ex-museum director turned shadowrunner since he did a Very Stupid Thing and had to leave the Allied German States for Chicago.

What did he do? He made a deal with a dragon. Specifically, he sold a forged piece of art to Lofwyr, CEO of Saeder-Krupp.

Alberich was introduced into the already formed group something like this: "At the entrance of the building, arriving punctually, you spot the biggest troll you've probably ever seen, looking very uncomfortable to be here and slinking as much as is even possible. All in all, he somehow doesn't look very threatening. In fact, he looks as if an art teacher had been stuffed with a 3 meter/10 feet tall horned giant. His face lights up as he sees you, though."

So the first thing he does is shake everyone's hand, politely assuring them that it's a pleasure to meet them and yes, he is Alberich, and who are you? Ah, yes, lovely names, very creative.

For reference, this is the average shadowrun-group:

Speaking of which, the gang's line-up did change a bit unfortunately, but the ones that stayed from beginning to end were:

Speedrun, street-samurai. An adrenaline-junkie who has styled himself after anime. Very much trying to be cool, to the point that he has adopted a deep-sounding voice that's rather obviously not his natural speaking voice. We pictured it as him talking with his head on his chin. Here he is, trying to impress the fighting adept shere khan:

Elf_Queen, decker and elf-poser. An elf-poser is someone who tries very hard to be elf-like - in her case, she wanted to actually *be* an elf. She ran away from home since her parents were metahuman-racists (Humanis policlub). Notably, her online and offline persona were very different. Online, she's very assertive and the guild leader of an mmorpg. Offline however, she's pretty much scared of anything. When Alberich joined the group, she hid behind Speedrun - you don't live with humanis for that long without picking up some xenophobia as well. And trolls aren't well-liked in the game world.

So the first mission: De-kidnap a kidnapped singer called Jericho. First we took a look at the bus-line she had last taken, a task for which Elf_Queen had to jack into said bus. Only three problems: A) She had to get behind a metal covering inside the bus B) her character sheet is min-maxed to hell and back, thus she has ONE measly point in strenght. Which wouldn't be a problem since she's in the presence of three pretty strong dudes if not for C) Massive Social Anxiety.

After looking around like a wet bunny for 5 minutes, Alberich (who has also cramped himself into the bus) finally catches on and goes "... can I help you, little lady?", pops the cover open and she can get deckin'. You might call this strike 1. You'll see why.

After visiting her appartment and some more investigation, we gather that Miss Jericho has been taken away into a bunraku (think brothel but with more brainwashing) to be re-programmed to the liking of her ex-boyfriend whose band she left to make it on her own (and quite successfully so). Which means we'll have to deal with Yakuza.

The bunraku turns out to be disguised as a night club. After I tried and failed to casually infiltrate the place (... I... er... wasn't a very good player at first?) we had to flee forwards, take out the guards at the door and make sure we get in and out of there as soon as possible.

In the club, almost before we made it backstage, Elf_Queen got held up by a guy bent on talking to her and froze up. Well, at least until Alberich very casually bent over the two of them and informed the guy that "she's with me". I tell you this, because this was strike 2.

Backstage, past a kitchen and into the cellar, we finally got into a room with two rows of plexi-glass cells - and in the middle, a bound spirit, a thing that feeds on negative emotions. Our muscle (Speedrun and Baba Yaga - yes, we had a John Wick in our midst. And yes, Alberich technically doesn't count as muscle, he's a mage. It's complicated) were outside, fighting off Yakuza. So it was up to EQ to hack Miss Jericho's cell open as quickly as possible and for me to make sure she wouldn't die while doing so.

After like three rounds of unsuccessful banishing (as I said... not a good player), the cell was open. But...

But.

There were the other victims.

What about the others?

Now, when I thought up Alberich, my core idea was "Daryl Whitefeather and Don Corleone having a mental fistfight". I tend to play good characters and this time around, to honor the setting I set out a morally grey character, someone who mostly looks out for himself and only indulges in kindness when he has the luxury to do so. Being kind and polite, if you think about it, is really just usually the easiest and most pleasant way to get people to do what you want. And if people are convinced you're scary by nature, seeming less so is just a smart survival strategy.

But then he looks at this little socially anxious nerd, who very much reminds him of himself, when he used to be a little socially anxious nerd, long, long ago and she says with big eyes "please! can you give me a bit more time? We need to save the others! We have to try!" and it's just... strike three. He's taken the little decker into his heart. So internally he goes "welp, I'm old anyways" and externally he shrugs his mana-burned shoulders, sighs "okay" and keeps trying to banish.

Unfortunately the spirit almost eats him alive. EQ fails to open any more gates, so they make it out once he as but 2 life points left, run into the elevator and evade the fast approaching small army of Yakuza on the way out.

Elf_Queen jumps into his arms, Alberich holds her like one might hold a chihuahua, Baba Yaga is trying to gauge their time and speedrun's reporting back from outside.

In the end, it was bittersweet. Because while we did save Miss Jericho, the brainwashing still took hold. Her last 1 1/2 years of life wiped away, she asked for her ex-boyfriend as soon as she woke up.

End of Part 1, thank you for reading this very self-indulgent text!