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gch1995 · 4 years ago

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No one hates OUAT more than those of us in the fandom who actually watched it and/or followed it long enough to fully realize just how disappointingly awful, hopeless, and ridiculous the writing became in the piss poor excuse for canon the show devolved into the longer it went on, even though it was supposed to “be fun” and “give us hope.” At least all of its beautiful wasted potential became an outlet for far superior writing in our headcanons and fanfiction, though, no matter how shitty the actual show got.

I always feel so bad for newbies in the fandom who haven’t yet uncovered the horrific clusterfuck of bad writing this show ultimately devolved into. A part of me always feels like telling new fans to just spare themselves the pain, and to just quit watching after the Neverland arc. The majority of those of us in the OUAT fandom agree that the show’s writing ultimately devolved into a painfully biased, cheaply shocking, cheesy, wildly inconsistent, melodramatic, nonsensical, pandering, repetitive, and wildly ooc unsalvageable mess of bad writing that made us feel angry, betrayed, bored, and disgusted more often than not after that.

However, even after the show’s writing went completely off the rails beyond all salvaging, there were still those gold nuggets of wasted potential for characters, relationships, and storylines that could have and should have been amazing, if Kitsowitz and these writers actually had been able to be consistently competent and professional at their jobs. Particularly when looking back at the first two-and-a-half seasons of OUAT, I feel a great sense of disappointment at just how much beautiful and interesting potential they ultimately wasted in these characters and relationships in favor of blatantly biased, cheaply shocking, contrived, nonsensical, mutually toxic, wildly ooc, repetitive, and thus, character destroying magical soap opera melodrama.

There’s always this deep sense of disappointment in me over the amazing show that canon OUAT ultimately could have and should have been whenever I see all of those golden nuggets of tragically wasted potential Kitsowitz and these writers showed us in those moments when they were actually being competent show-runners and writers, particularly in S1-2A before they show got too distracted by the next big contrived magical thing to actually let the characters slow down, talk to each other, hang out with each other, and grow and react like in-character and relatable human beings. If only they were able to ultimately write and stick to a consistent, relatable, gradual, realistic, and organic course of character development that actually would have ultimately made these characters, happy endings, redemption arcs, and/or regression arcs actually feel well-earned and satisfying in the end.

Instead, they ended up erasing, minimizing, and/or outright romanticizing certain bad behaviors and choices of their characters at certain points and the negative consequences and/or effects they had in regards to those they hurt and/or victimized.

Instead, they ended up outright derailing most of their characters normally and/or consistently previously established complex, intelligent, and sympathetic characterizations and/or positive development at one point or another in order to rerail them over and over and over again more and more post S3 in increasingly abrupt, cheaply shocking, contrived, disappointing, flanderdized, horrifying, melodramatically toxic, and nonsensical ways that made them suddenly come across as uncharacteristically unsympathetic and stupid out of nowhere.

Instead, they created absurdities out of nowhere to inorganically force the characters to regress in ways that contradicted all previously established canon characterization, continuity, and previously established logic on the show.

Instead, they selectively bent, broke, and contradicted their own rules of magic with less and less fairness, rhyme, or reason as every season passed the first.

If only they had consistently and fairly stuck to their own rules and limitations of what magic could and couldn’t do. If only they treated their characters as complex and relatable human beings and equals with compelling, consistent, and realistic personalities, flaws, conflicts, regressions, redemptions, and resolutions that drove their stories consistently, gradually, organically, and realistically because of who they were and/or developed into as people, rather than because nonsensical asspulled twists and/or magical macguffins demanded that these characters suddenly become whatever they needed them to become a certain way to create cheap shock value, suspense, drama, and repetitive storytelling, regardless of all previously established characterization, continuity, development, and logic in their own canon.

Instead, they decided to cherry pick favorite characters and/or ships to frame as “redeemed” in the narrative, even though they may not have actually done anything to earn it and/or regressed without any negative consequences for doing so, just because Emma and the Charmings accepted them as “family.”

Instead, they ended up slapping increasingly biased, petty, meaningless, and shallow “hero” and “villain” labels on all of their characters, regardless of how objectively and needlessly harmful their choices, behaviors, and reactions may have been to others, in spite of being on the “right” side.

But we all ultimately sustained ourselves in the OUAT fandom by imagining just how amazing these characters, their relationships, and their storylines could have and should have been, trying to disregard the character assassinating bad writing in the piss poor excuse for canon that OUAT ultimately devolved into, taking Kitsowitz and these writers golden nuggets of tragically wasted potential for these characters, their relationships, and creating far superior works of art with those golden nuggests of wasted potential in canon with our headcanons and fan fiction.

OUAT isn’t a show that stuck with most of us because we were impressed by its writing in canon. In fact, most of us are fully aware that there were writing choices in the piss poor excuse of canon OUAT our favorite characters and relationships on the show that were inexcusably awful, biased, cheesy, cheaply shocking, gross, offensive, inconsistent, nonsensical, tone-deaf, wildly ooc, and/or repetitive at one point or another. Honestly, if the main character and/or relationship lasted past S3 in the main cast, then Kitsowitz and the writers destroyed your favorite character and/or ship with bad writing at one point or another.

After the writers unceremoniously killed off Bae/Neal, and resurrected Rumple from the show’s most consistently relatable, realistic, sympathetic, and well-earned two-and-a-half season redemption arc from S1-3A, it became clear thet they ran out of story to tell after wrapping up the Neverland arc, and had no idea where else they were supposed to go with Emma, Regina, Hook, Rumple, Belle, Snow, David, and even Henry’s individual characters or relationships anymore.

We know canon OUAT became a shitshow of inexcusably bad writing. We know it became horrifying and stupid. However, most of us didn’t actually remain in this fandom because we agreed with the writing on the show. We latched onto it so strongly because of its amazing main cast. We latched on to it so deeply because it showed us how to not completely fuck up amazing, relatable, and compelling individual characters, their relationships, and their storylines with biased, hypocritical, ableist, classist, homophobic, racist, sexist, petty, cheaply shocking, gross, wildly ooc, flanderdized, melodramatic, pandering, repetitive, and nonsensical lazy plot-driven writing. Granted, these problems were starting to show up in canon OUAT’s writing as early on as S1. However, after 3A, the show’s writing completely went off the rails for everyone in the remaining main cast that lasted past S3, and these characters and their relationships never fully recovered what made them at all coherent, compelling, magical, relatable, and enjoyable to watch and get invested in in canon from S1-S3, in spite of their obvious flaws.

Most of us have remained in the OUAT fandom because the show’s shitty writing choices and wasted potential inspired most of us to tell far better stories than Kitsowitz and their team of hacks ultimately did.

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somanyerikas · 3 years ago

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Nostalgia sells - or does it? About BBC’s rehiring of a previous showrunner for Doctor Who as a marketing strategy

All, right, this is the one where I deal with my issues about RTD’s rehiring from the standpoint of BBC’s business strategy . Brace for passive agression, swearwords, brief history of british television and numbers. So, so many numbers.

Allright, so I already wrote a post about my problem with RTD’s (re)hire from the creative standpoint (it’s here in case you’re interested), but hey, I can bitch about it all I want, but we all know what caused the BBC to make this decision, right? You’ve heard about it for sure. The Dropping Ratings. You’ve read about it on so many posts, lots of them probably oh-so-gladly conflating this fact with their own opinion about the deteriorating quality of the show. (Don’t worry, we’ll get to that.) So Obviously the execs at the Big BBC Quarters needed to do something about it, and what better way to go than rehire a guy who’s run at Doctor Who is a warm childhood memory for so many in it’s fanbase? After all, it’s what we’re seeing nowadays: from Star Wars return to wave of 80′s nostalgia to every old blockbuster star doing a comeback, there is but a single conclusion - nostalgia sells.

Or does it?

Part One: Moving with the change; or very much refusing to.

Let’s start this off with some facts about the ratings for Doctor Who. (Well, I warned you there’s gonna be numbers, didn’t I. Stick with me, I’m going somewhere with this I promise.) In it’s beginnings, in the sixties and seventies , the series flown high, averaging a viewership from 8 up to 10 million viewers per season. Collin Baker’s series 17 brought in a record of 11.21 milion viewer asses in front of a good ol’ TV screen, real champagne opener here. But, as it happens, things were downhill from here. During the eighties, the rating started dropping steadily, reaching an all-time low of 4.15 milion couch-warming bottoms in 1989, the last season of the classic era.

Years passed, 16 of those years to be exact, and here comes our saviour RTD. Under his wings, the revived series premiered, bringing in over 10 milion viewers to the premiere episode of season 1, Rose. A viewership this high did not last for long, but still, RTD’s seasons averaged between 7 and 8 milion viewers per season, which seemed pretty respectable. But then, as the story likes to repeat itself, not unlike the bbc execs just did, along came the decline again. Ever since 2010, the ratings began steadily dropping again, from 7.95 in 2010 to 5.46 in 2017. Then DW experienced an unexpected peak in 2018 with the premiere of Jodie Whittaker’s first season, which averaged 7.96 viewing asses, but then continued the dropping trend on the next season, averaging 5.40 viewing butts.

So what went wrong?

You see, part of the reason that Doctor Who was bringing in such great viewership numbers in the 60′s and 70′s, was that, to put it simply, BBC did not have much competition. Or, to be exact, only had one competitor. ITV was literally founded in order to break BBC’s monopoly over British television. But in the 80′s, with the launch of Channel 4 and Sky, the british viewers had more and more options to choose from. So logically speaking, they no longer had to watch BBC’s programming just because there was nothing else on. There was more and more new programes to boredom-watch. And here’s something y’all need to know about the tv industry: the boredom-watchers, the casuals? That’s the most important demographic. As hard as it might be to swallow, us hardcore fans, forum dwellers and Ao3 gremlins, we’re not as big of a group as we’d like to think. Loving fans are important to the tv execs as providers of word-of-mouth advertisment, but the real numbers come from the casual, everyday viewer who will just put on the next episode cause the other one was kinda fun I guess. Or more fun than the other options, anyway.

And this is why, by the way, when someone is conflating low viewership with the show Dissapointing The Fans, they’re full of shit. I’m sorry, but we’re really not that much of a force here, definitely not enough to make such a big impact on the numbers. Another factor, that some of you probably noticed already, is that the numbers I’m quoting are from british tv only, while the online fandom is very much international, so our opinions matter even less to the british execs, I’m sorry again, hard pill to swallow I know, but true nonetheless.

But I digress. So, to sum up the previous paragraph, Doctor Who’s viewership decline in the 80′s was the effect of the changing landscape of the TV industry, with which the BBC struggled to come to terms with.

Sound familiar?

Let’s move on to the 2010′s, shall we?

2010 was is actually a good marker of a year to choose, because it marks one important thing that begun a big change in the industry. This was the year in which Netflix expanded their services overseas, from being a DVD rental company to providing VOD services. Over the next decade streaming services grew in importance, from being an add-on to your cable TV that you didn’t really want but they were throwing it in for cheap, to very much self-sustainable media services you might very well buy instead of buying the cable. And if you look at the numbers for Doctor Who viewership declining over the last 10 years, that’s precisely what’s been happening. It’s not that people don’t want to watch Doctor Who on tv, they don’t want to watch tv in general. Do you know what was the most popular channel in Britain this year? Can you guess? Fucking Netflix that’s what. It’s just slowly-yet-steadily ceasing to be the way we use home entertainment anymore. Again, not much to do with the audience approval, because for that matter, let’s see about the specific episodes that saw the spikes in viewership.

Rose, which i mentioned at the start of it, was for the longest time the unquestionable queen when it comes to viewership, at 10.81 milion. The next episode, The End of the World, pulled in 7.97 - almost 3 millions worth of lost viewer-butts in one week? Is it because it was so much worse than it’s predecessor? No, it simply did not have the smell of Newness, the Event You Must See, and as such brought forth less of the casual viewers who were simply curious about The New Thing. The next season followed the similar formula, peaking at the premiere, when the marketing was at it’s strongest, going down during the season, sometimes rising slightly for the finale, sometimes not. The most popular episodes are, of course, the specials - yet again, the vibe of The Event To Be Seen worked here, but one more thing working to their advantage is they often aired in spaces between seasons, serving as both a long-waited Crumbs of Content for the fans, and the basically stand-alones for the casuals. Do you know what the single most watched episode of revived DW is? No, it’s not Tennant’s goodbye with the role (yeah I know, I thought it had to be that as well). It was Voyage of the Damned, between seasons 3 and 4. The perfect standalone for the casual watcher. And last but not least, you know one more special feature that brought, maybe not as much, but definitely more than expected? The 1996 movie Doctor Who, with 9.08 million. Again, a perfect standalone.

But the standalones aren’t the only way to grab the viewership. The currently-highest viewing non-special episode of DW? The Woman Who Fell to Earth, Jodie Whittaker’s introduction. In 2018 no less, in the year when the streaming was the ruler supreme, this episode brought a whooping 10.96 million buts to the good ol’ TV again. Let me reiterate: this episode brought in more viewers than Rose did in 2005, while having WAY more competition and way less favorable circumstances of release that RTD’s debiut did. Not only that, it managed to bring on some numbers for the entire season as well, not as good of course as the premiere (because again, the Event vibes faded), but still brought a better average than the last six seasons did. (Again, let me reiterate: more than the last SIX seasons. More viewership than any series since 2010, since the Streaming Wars.) So clearly, this must be the way, right? Catering to this Weird New Trend, that saw directors notice there do in fact exist other actors than white men, that surely brought in some profit, even Marvel does it now, right? Out with the old, in with the new!

Part 2 The Deceitful Charm of Nostalgia

Well, it turns out the whole Doing New Things deal didn’t work out that well after all, now did it? The second season penned by Chibbnal averaged 5.40 milion, that’s 2.5 million drop from the previous one! It must mean it didn’t work, right? Well, yes and no. As much as the refreshment of the formula as simple as Let’s Put A Woman In It absolutely worked for one season, it very visibly did not hold up for longer. An Event-Episode is something that can still happen on TV, Event-Series? That’s pretty much reserved for streaming now, if you think about it, and it’s honestly kind of a miracle that Series 11 did as well as it had. Two consecutive Event-Series on network tv? Flat out impossible.

So how to make those ratings great again? How to get those butts in seats of the Good Ol’? Well, the execs of the BBC have a plan for that. They brought in a devouring beast, and it’s name is: Nostalgia.

Without a doubt, there is a number of people who feel nostalgic about RTD’s era of Doctor Who. It’s a lot of people’s fond childhood memory, or the series they started with, and judging by the numbers, there should be quite a lot of them. So the new plan, as it appears, is to get to those who maybe lost interest in the show and lure them with the promise of the thing That Is Totally Like The Thing You Used To Love, Remember? (This is why I don’t actually think that RTD will be allowed to do anything new and interesting, that’s not what they hired him for. And that’s why I think this is bad from the creative standpoint.) So there are two questions here: One, will the people be lured? And two, for how long?

Nostalgia as a marketing strategy is something that you’re probably sick of seeing already (I know I am). But it has very much been effective on many levels, especially the eighties-baiting, Stranger Things style, can bring a new IP up to relevance. But what about old IP’s that want to have a comeback?

It’s kind of dificult to find another TV show that I could compare to Doctor Who. Most series that have been running for that long are mostly soap operas, that operate on slightly different rules, and are also targeted to a different audience. So as much as the movie series is still not exactly the best comparison, when I think about a big IP, campy sci-fi, family-oriented (at least in theory) on its path back to relevance, I think about Star Wars, obviously. The Force Awakens gambled on that nostalgic feeling and won big, but the next two movies, while still financially successful, were nowhere near the astounding success of the first one. And that’s because - you guessed it - it created the Event You Must See again, The Great Comeback, but merely two years later, the comeback became old news. So what we can gain from that is that nostalgia can create an Event as well as a new trend, if not better. But the question remains: how long will that last?

That is, after all, the main difference between a movie franchise and a TV series in the traditional, network TV sense of the word: movie franchise must bring in the viewership every year or two, and TV series must bring in viewers every week for at least two months. Is RTD’s Nostalgia Vibes enough to provide for that?

I’ll say this: I’m absolutely certain that the 60th anniversary will be very popular. I still don’t think it will break any records because, as I’ve been trying to explain for this whole post, it is not 2007 anymore no matter how much the tv execs would like it to be. But ironically, the almost-certain success of the special is the very thing that could undermine the effect of bringing their precious Nostagia Boi back onboard. Remember, the first Event Episode is The Big Oof. That’s the one that gets asses to the Good Ol’, if anything ever does. After the first big event one, that’s the point when things start going down. They’re wasting their Special Event Boi for something that already would be an event, dear fucking gods, I hate your plan and I would still execute it better. Either have RTD be the Anniversary Guy and then hire someone new, use that hype and keep it going, OR have RTD come in after the anniversary, then at least you get the Event Effect for the premiere of his first return season. Fukin’ amateurs.

But even if they did that, here’s the thing: do you think that the people who departed from the show years ago actually want to watch another three to five seasons of The RTD Show? I mean, I’m sure the thought warmed some hearts, for sure. A number of people will definitely gladly watch the anniversary, probably the first few episodes of the first return to the basics, but after that? In the world when, due to streaming, they have an easy way to revisit the actual thing they’re nostalgic towards? I honestly don’t think so. And you’re not really gonna get many new people by going back, if that nostalgia factor isn’t there. And then there’s casual viewers, the backbone, as we established. And here’s the thing: lots of those people don’t even know who the current showrunner is, cause they’re not Terminally Online like we are, and the second thing? Lots of those people ARE JUST NOT WATCHING NETWORK TV, IM SORRY GARRY. They’re just. They’re just not. I don’t know how to spell it out better. Even my mum has netflix now. Your biggest base is in another castle mate, gotta get moving and gotta get moving quick, cause here’s another thing: all the nostalgia in the world will not do SHIT for you if your target, people who were kids/teens when the RTD era was airing, PROBABLY DON’T EVEN HAVE A FUCKING TV ANYMORE CAUSE THEY MOVED OUT OF THEIR PARENTS FLAT AND LOTS OF YOUNG PEOPLE JUST DON’T BOTHER. Just. I’m sorry but you’re trying to resuscitate a decade-deceased corpse there buddy. It just won’t work. The times have changed and you gotta swim or drown, and it’s just not gonna be 2005 again, no matter how hard you pretend it is. It’s not your content it’s your business model. Just push more marketing for your iplayer or whatever, focus on streaming as your primary not your secondary cause that’s just what it is now, and maybe don’t rely on the viewer-counting systems of the yesteryear to evaluate your business. Or else you’re gonna get stuck sacrificing the creative growth of your show for a marketing strategy that probably won’t even fucking WORK.

There, I got it of my chest. Feel free to reblog, and also: you somehow got to the end of this, congrats! I’ll make numbers nerds out of y’all yet.

#it's like. my sister and I were #watching a movie lately. the one with multiple will smiths and the de-aging tech #(don't recommend it it's real boring)#but when Youngened Will Smith appeared on the screen my sister got my spiting my tea laughing by innocently saying:#"oh i don't know this actor. it's nice that they're giving opportunities to the young actors. great to see a new face in the biz''#and u know what #this rehire is the same fucking vibe to me #some cunts from marketing plastering make-up to an old man's face and pretending its 2005 still #anyway #doctor who #i guess.

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theji · 4 years ago

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我的世界守则 The Rules of My World: An Analysis

I came across this video while browsing Weibo last night. It was taken during Yibo's rehearsal for his 'The Rules of My World' performance. I've listened to the song countless times and I like it, the rhythm and all, and the dance. But as with many rap music, I don't pay attention to the lyrics. I suddenly realised I don't really know what the song is talking about, save for the few phrases that stood out. That sparked my interest and inspired today's post. I had previously done some analysis of Zhan's songs, so it's Yibo's turn.

Disclaimer: I am not a professional translator or lyricist. And obviously I'm not Yibo nor do I know him personally, so I can't say for sure what the song is really about. The following analysis is purely based on my personal interpretation. It has CPN components. Please skip if you don't believe that BJYXSZD.

'The Rules of My World' is the 2nd song that Yibo penned the lyrics to himself. The fact that he wrote the lyrics is significant and makes the song worth analysing. 2019's 'Wu Gan' was more 'inward-looking'; about Yibo expressing his own thoughts on navigating the entertainment industry. To me, 'The Rules of My World' is him making a statement, a stand, at the same time, he's sending a message to those he cares about - GG and his (real) fans. Yibo released this song on 30 Dec 2020. The timing is interesting cos it like he's summing up his sentiments based on the events that took place during the year. To outsiders, 2020 was a good year for Yibo. He had many endorsements, projects, high exposure, his commercial value rose. But in CPN reality, 2020 was terrible for so many reasons. GG's incident, him being overworked, crazy fan wars and antis etc etc..anyone who cares about Yibo would be delusional to think he had it good last year.

欢迎你们来加入我的世界 (You're welcome to join my world)

入场券上面有正义的光源 (There's a light of justice on the admission ticket)

DD is giving fans an open invitation to enter his world, to understand him as a person and not just an idol. And he also hopes that his world can bring some light to the fans' world, to bring some positivity, encouragement and guidance to them.

此生面对严厉又仁慈的一切 (In this life we'll face harshness but also kindness)

轻松一点，我们一起度过黑夜 (Just relax, together we'll overcome darkness)

In the entertainment world (or life in general), there will be ups and downs, criticisms and compliments. Regardless of what may come, we can overcome any challenges together. Darkness here could also refer to the antis who seem determined to bring GGDD down. This could be a message to fans - to tell them that they don't always have to rush to defend him, and they don't need to retaliate (aka fan wars). It could also be a message to GG, to make a stand of solidarity and to reassure GG that DD will face any challenges alongside him.

新的征途 (A new journey)

愚蠢的，不好相处 (These fools, they aren't easy to get along with)

愚蠢的，不会打住 (These fools, they won't stop)

但衬托明天更耀眼的路 (But they will set off a brighter path for tomorrow)

It was said that DD matured considerably after the 2*7 incident. Took up more responsibility, became more focused on his career and mindful of future advancements etc. Started to take on more serious acting projects and to shift his career trajectory towards something more sustainable and less 'idol'. The new journey could be a reference to this new path. The fools - the antis, those against GGDD - may have caused damage but their actions have also sparked off DD's desire to do better and to find his footing in the entertainment industry. He now has a clearer view of what he wants, the path he wants to take.

我是我的样子 (This is how I am)

我生来就固执 (I was born stubborn)

讲自己的故事 (I'll tell my own story)

活独特的气质 (Living my unique self)

Follow me, 找到自己的价值 (Follow me, find your own value)

不去迎合别人活才会觉得有意思 (Life is interesting if you don't cater to others)

我的世界不退让 (It's my world I won't give in)

Here, DD is being assertive. This is me, I follow my own rules, I'll make my own decisions, I'll forge my own path, I won't be influenced, I won't give up on my beliefs. So antis, capitalists etc can f*ck off.

It could also be seen as an advice to his fans - to follow his lead and live their own lives. This is also something that GG has repeatedly said to fans - to focus on their own lives, personal relationships, studies, careers etc. Don't devote so much time on chasing idols, online fan wars etc.

阳光耀眼 (The sun is dazzling)

乐观地，走向前 (Just move forward with optimism)

阳光耀眼 (The sun is dazzling)

无所谓，多危险 (Doesn't matter how dangerous it is)

阳光耀眼 (The sun is dazzling)

这是我的世界 (This is my world)

我世界的守则，不许你诡辩 (These are the rules of my world, I won't allow any sophistry)

I see this as DD's words of encouragement, to himself and to GG. Despite all the challenges and hardship, darkness will pass and the sun will come out eventually. And it's shining brightly, there is hope left in this world, there's is much to look forward to. So don't fear, be brave and forge ahead.

Sophistry: the use of clever but false arguments, especially with the intention of deceiving

Poor DD is always hit with industry rumours, about him dating his co-stars etc. Last year, someone even made a false police report against him. Just look at the number of statements his company had to put out. There have also always been ongoing rumours about rivalry between GGDD, tales of backstabbing etc, especially in 2020 at the height of the incident. DD is saying that this is his life, his world. No one knows better than the both of them. So to those who don't know better but continue to spew nonsense about his life and relationships and spread hate, know that I don't care about your antics, they don't hurt me but I won't tolerate them as well.

在我世界行走 (Walking in my world)

什么人生主题你透露 (What kind of life theme do you envisage)

是胆大勇猛所向披靡 (Is it to be bold, courageous and invincible)

或胆小逃避钻进壳里 (Or to be timid and escape into your shell)

喧闹倾诉众人party (Is it to pour out your troubles at a rowdy party)

寂寞相思不停地哭泣 (Or to cry silently non-stop out of loneliness and love-sickness)

都欢迎你来我这里 (All are welcome)

只要跟从自己的内心 (So long as you follow your heart)

跟限制和噪音说一声 bang bang (I'll say 'Bang Bang' to restriction and noises)

怪兽都退散 (Monsters, be gone)

What kind of person am I in your eyes? The cool guy or soft sweet babie Yibo? Here, DD is acknowledging that the public has many different perceptions of him, and fans love different personas of him and he's ok with that. But if you love him, then let him be. Don't try to restrict him, don't quarrel or force him into a certain mould of your preference. He won't hesitate to shoot the haters (monsters) down.

迈出轻盈的步伐 (Take a light step forward)

一声令下 (With a single command)

来宣布告别孤勇 (To announce a farewell to having to fight alone)

On this new path, with a new-found realisation of what he wants, DD is clear of what he wants to achieve and he is no longer burdened by fear, uncertainties etc. Both GGDD now have each other by their sides, they share a common purpose as they navigate the intricacies of the entertainment industry together and work their way to the top. And I think this is something that we're seeing more in the fandom since end 2020 - GGDD seemingly becoming more bold in their actions and messages they put out (silent or otherwise).

想要做盘旋的龙 (Wanna be a hovering dragon)

还想做懒散的虫 (Or a lazy worm)

别打扰我走开没空 (Don't bother me, go away, I have no time for that)

In public, DD is that proud and confident king. He's not a pushover. But behind the cameras, he just wants to chill and relax (and play games). Please don't bother me, give me some privacy to lead my own life, don't tell me what I can or cannot do.

Cue DD's message. He meant it.

Follow me, 找到自己的价值 (Follow me, find your own value)

不去迎合别人活才会觉得有意思 (Life is interesting if you don't cater to others)

我们永远不退让 (We will never give in)

This is a repetition of the earlier verse but what has changed is the last 2 lines. From <It's my world I won't give in>, DD now says <We will never give in>. This was actually the first thing that sparked off my CPN, and hinted to me that this song concerns GG in some ways. Who's We? We all know how GGDD almost always use the word 'we' in their CQL promo interviews and bts, as though they come as a package and all views represent both of them as a entity. This also echoes the earlier sentiments - both of them, after the 2020 incident, have developed a steely resolve. They won't let the antis or challenges or societal views hold them back anymore. Their world, their rules. They will fight for their rights and what they believe in, and they are determined to reach their goals.

阳光耀眼 (The sun is dazzling)

乐观地走向前 (Just move forward with optimism)

阳光耀眼 (The sun is dazzling)

无所谓多危险 (Doesn't matter how dangerous it is)

阳光耀眼 (The sun is dazzling)

这是我的世界 (This is my world)

我们的世界不会被改变 (Our world will never be changed)

Again, similar to the above 'we' example. From this part of the song onwards, DD is referring to them both. The last line could also be viewed as an affirmation of GGDD's commitment to each other. Whatever is it, our relationship will not change. We will go through it all together.

Don‘t stop, get it, get it

Let me see you work up on it

Don’t stop, get it, get it

Let me see you all up on it

Let me see you work up on it

Don‘t stop, get it, get it

Don't stop

Hey

I interpret this as DD's words of encouragement to GG. Like don't stop fighting, continue to work hard towards your (our) goals. Go for it, you can do it!

在我的世界 (In my world)

本能很关键 (Instinct is the key)

坚持自己 (Stay true to yourself)

就是你们的世界 (It is your world)

DD's parting words to fans: to stay true to oneself, to build and enrich your own worlds, to fight for your goals, like how he is trying.

Well, I had fun working on this. Maybe I'll do Wu Gan another time. Reminded me of literature class during my schooling days, although I never did Chinese literature back then. Feel free to share your thoughts on the song with me. =D

#wang yibo #bjyx #bjyxszd #yizhan #the ji's song of the moment

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twopoppies · 4 years ago

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Ok, I’m gonna ask something and I really really hope where I’m coming from translates because I know how this can look.

I’m asking this question because I often ask it to myself, and I don’t know that I have an answer to it, but I’m young and new and I see you as a fandom auntie imparting your wisdom so maybe you can help me? I’m in my head a lot, all the time.

What would it take for you to go “alright that’s it, there is no Larry/they’re not together anymore”? I know, I know this question is shady. I’ve seen it thrown around a bunch of times in the year I’ve been a fan and it always gets a snarky response (which I totally get because I don’t think it comes from a genuine place). But as I said, I keep asking it to myself and when that happens I get a little frantic. Does that make sense? Like, it kind of gives me anxiety to think about that.

I keep wondering, if 5 more years go by and Freddie is still around... how would I feel? I don’t THINK that’s gonna happen, but then again, there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight and he’s already 5, so who the fuck knows, you know? Would I be a firm believer on what I believe if I saw an 8, a 10 year old kid talk about Louis as his dad? I don’t have an answer... and it scares me, because it makes me feel delusional and I know I’m not.

What would happen if Louis and Eleanor got married? Do I think it will happen? No... but I mean, I also didn’t think they’d survive this long. When I first came into the fandom everyone was saying they’d break up soon and it’s been a year. How would I cope if that happened? If they had a kid? Would I patiently wait for it to be revealed that things aren’t as they seem? Would I give up?

What if Harry and Olivia become more serious? What if they date for years and he takes her to events or talks about her? Like, I know, I KNOW he’s never done it before, but I also know that he has never called any of his stunts “my ex girlfriend” before Camille, and he even included her voice in a song... so like, do we REALLY know? He hadn’t held hands with one of his stunts since Taylor, and he’d never taken them as plus ones to anything. He seems to be actively participating a lot more than with Camille. I did my research, they were seen together far less and mostly maintained it by her going to his concerts. Idk it just seems that he was so low key with stunts in the past and instead of taking steps to maybe come out, he’s taking steps to make his relationships look more serious. He “dated” those women for a couple of months tops, now he’s stuck in long “relationships” that have to involve his family and idk it kinda sucks. What’s the guarantee they won’t take it a step further? How would I react if they did?

These things are in my head constantly and I don’t know what to think. What WOULD I do? Would I get fed up and leave the fandom, regardless of what I believed? So many people have done that but I can’t see myself not supporting H&L, they feel like such an important part of my life.

God, I’m sorry for how long this was and how annoying it must be. I guess I just need a little guidance.

Hi sugar. Wow... there’s lots going on here and I don’t think I can actually address everything you’re asking. So, let me start by saying that I don’t have a set “if this happens, I’m out” line in the sand. For me, I imagine I’ll leave when fandom is no longer fun for me, but I don’t think longevity or mutation of the stunts would necessarily be the final straw.

The thing is, for those of us who’ve been here since the band was together, we saw how different Harry and Louis’ attitude was towards their closeting. They actively fought against it. Loudly. Somewhere along the way, after the hiatus, things seem to have shifted a bit. Not that they want to be closeted, but it feels as though they might have a different perspective on it these days.

So, I guess the question could be... do they want to come out anytime soon? And I really don’t know. Louis has barely gotten his solo career off the ground. Harry is doing extremely well with his extremely frustrating fence straddling. Would coming out soon hurt their career goals? I think babygate is an entirely separate issue and regardless of anything else, that just isn’t sustainable. There’s too much that’s shady there for me to ever think he had a baby with her. And I just can’t see the family agreeing to continuously lie to their child for an open ended amount of time now that he’s really old enough to understand. I mean, I guess I shouldn’t put anything past them, but that seems insane.

So if they’re not ready to make that big change, stunts could look different than they used to. Camille staying for a year and Eleanor coming back made it possible for each of them to write an album that included songs about long term love, and allowed them to talk about it during promo with as much honesty as they wanted/were able to share. Not everything has changed for the worse.

When I try to look at the situation from their POV, and assume that they have a bit more power than they did pre-hiatus, I feel less anxious about things. But more than anything, I think what helps is to remember that this is their lives. They know what’s best for them. We might not like it, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re suffering or that you’re wrong about your assumptions about them. If you’re here to support them, then I think all you can do is just support them and remove any time frames and specific expectations. If it gets in the way of your mental health, please take a break. Fandom will still be here. I have good friends who are still ride or die Larries, but they just can’t handle being here right now.

Lastly, it sounds as though asking yourself these “what would I do” questions is a form of future worrying that is actually causing you some real anxiety. There really isn’t a point in wondering how you would react to something that may never happen. It won’t keep it from happening, but it is keeping you from enjoying where you are now.

I know this got long, but I hope there’s something helpful there. 💗

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natsubeatsrock · 4 years ago

Text

So, I’ve been watching RWBY, and...

I think it’s really good. It’s nowhere near perfect, but I’ve enjoyed it a lot. It’s somewhere between an 8 or a 9 out of 10 for me. Unfortunately, I don’t have a whole lot to say about the series itself. I like a lot about it, but none of it is stuff that I feel I can talk about for a long enough period of time to justify making a post about it.

But if we’re talking about RWDE, then I have some things to say about them. A lot of what I’ve done on this blog has revolved around fandom. Regarding Fairy Tail, I’ve believed that, as bad as Mashima could be, fandom could be infinitely worse about things. Though, RWDE strikes me as fascinating and I want to talk about them, given my rather unique experience.

If you don’t know, RWDE makes up a group of people who watch RWBY. They’re vocal critics about nearly every possible aspect of the series. You’ll notice that I don’t say that they’re all fans of the series. While many claim to still be fans of the series, it’s hard to take that seriously in a lot of cases. Some are also involved in toxic actions like harassment of fans and creators... because of course.

Now, this post isn’t an epic takedown of a lot of the ideas espoused by people in RWDE. Frankly, I have basic issues with the conclusions many have come to regarding the series. But I’m not personally interested in going through that. It’s also not a defense of RWDE’s actions towards others involved with the series. Considering what I went through with the Nali messages earlier this year, I don’t have patience for fans who decide to go after real life people for fictional series.

What I am interested in is a defense I’ve seen of RWDE’s existence: it’s totally fine to watch and talk about a show that you don’t love everything about. I’ve seen this a few times on a couple of RWDE posts. Frankly, this isn’t a new idea. I’ve seen this used by people who were critical of Fairy Tail back in the day. However, RWDE presents an interesting challenge to that.

How much can someone dislike a series before they decide to give up on it? And how useful is criticism given from the perspective of someone who hates the object of criticism?

I’ve had a lot of time to think about these questions, especially considering what I’ve been doing regarding Fairy Tail. There was a point in time where I was more critical of Fairy Tail than positive of it. If you read a lot of my posts from mid-2016 to early 2017, I take for granted that Fairy Tail is not a well written series. It hurt, especially considering Fairy Tail was the series that got me into the anime scene in the first place.

However, something had to give. Around the time I was reaching eight thousand posts, I came to two realizations: Fairy Tail was not a well written series and likely never was, but I still enjoyed reading, watching, and talking about it more than a lot of other things. I tried to reconcile the two when I hit the milestone and came to the conclusion that, despite my issues with the series and creator, I still love the series and wasn’t planning on leaving the series.

Of course, since then, I’ve gained a much more positive view of fhe series. A lot of the posts I’ve made since then have involved talking about why the things Mashima did make sense. I’m still willing to say that there are things about Fairy Tail I don’t like and that Mashima made some stupid decisions. However, they aren’t enough to drive me away from fandom or the series.

I don’t know that the same can be said for much of RWDE. A lot of the things I’ve seen said by RWDE tells me that they don’t love RWBY in its current form. They wish that the series were fundamentally different and abhor much of what is currently happening with the series. Given that RWBY is no longer under the direction of its creator, I can understand that to a degree. However, RWDE takes it to a level past sympathy for me.

I don’t think it’s impossible to have fun watching something you don’t enjoy or that you want to criticize. I go through arguments of stuff I don’t like and have fun thinking of how I’m going to rip them apart. I had fun reading stories for the Bye, Bye Lucy series because the tropes were terrible and ubiquitous (I wouldn’t read most of them for story quality unless you paid me).

But after a certain point in time, I feel like it just gets to where it isn’t fun to go through a series. If people get burnt out talking about the things they love, I’m not convinced that talking about something you don’t like can be sustainable for long. A lot of the people I know criticized Fairy Tail have long since left the fandom and don’t care about anything Mashima’s made anymore. I don’t know how long RWDE intends to exist. Even if it remains big up to the end of the series, whenever that will be, I can’t see it lasting for too long after that.

When it comes to their criticism of the series, that I find more fascinating. I’ve held the opinion for years that fandoms should allow for spaces to share both positive and negative opinions of the series without fear of being ostracized. This opinion was forged during a time where saying anything bad about Fairy Tail at its worst earned you the label of “toxic fan”. (It was a simpler time.)

However, a lot of RWDE criticism strikes me as misinformed. Again, RWBY is far from a perfect series. However, a lot of its critics attack it for some of the craziest and nonsensical reasons. Many almost give the impression they didn’t actually watch the show attentively.

Like it’s not as if there isn’t criticism of RWBY to be leveled. I think the White Fang analogy to real life issues could have been better. I don’t love the Maiden plot line. I’m not a big fan of much of the songs in this series. (Not sure if it’s the lyrics or Casey Lee Williams’ voice.)

However, when RWDE criticizes RWBY, it’s almost as if they want something that isn’t RWBY. I’ve seen fans criticize the series and they have legitimate concerns, some of which I just mentioned. And their critiques involve the series being a better version of what it is. That’s an important difference.

If you weren’t one of the seven people who paid attention to my series talking about what our heroes should and shouldn’t do, one point I make over and over is that context should inform content. What a series is about should inform what a series does. I think that comes easier when people love the series they’re talking about than if they don’t.

Of course, it’s not as if you can’t do that if you don’t like a series. One of my favorite analytical series is Digi-nee’s “The Asterisk War Sucks” (I was going to link videoes here, but it’s not all available). That series isn’t just about why The Asterisk War is a bad light novel series that became an anime. It goes through how the series fails as an adaptation of a light novel, sci-fi series, romance story, action series, tournament arc, and even fan service show.

But to get to that, you have to be willing to work for it. Digi had to watch the series in its entirety 4 times. Even if you did like The Asterisk War, I find it hard to see Digi’s points as baseless hatred. It feels like RWDE watched the series once, maybe twice, before making their points. And honestly, it shows.

The future of any fandom is unpredictable and I can’t claim to know what will happen years from now. However, I can’t imagine RWDE being a permanent part of FNDM. Fans hate their existence as it is and many don’t agree with their arguments. If they’re anything like the most toxic parts of other fandoms, they’ll throw fits at the end of the series and move onto something else in about a year.

In Conclusion:

I think you can gain enjoyment out of something you don’t like and criticize something that you don’t love or even used to love. RWDE is the worst examples of these things, bordering on “exception to the rule”, and I will celebrate their inevitable downfall.

#not fairy tail month: crisis on infinite fandoms #rwde #i'd tag this rwby #but i feel like they'll find it #i know some people in rwde #i'm going to lose some friends #or not who knows #you'll notice i'm not talking about a certain overused point #i'm better than that #season 8 when?

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teruthecreator · 4 years ago

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what really pushed you to write SSOSS? :3 also how did you come up with the idea for the story? :>

UM so the first question actually comes in like, two different parts?? or i guess the two questions sort of overlap (jesus christ readmore i didnt realize i would talk this much LMAO)

so the concept of the on the run/western aspect of it came from a voice call in the friendzone but it was just me, matthew ( @accesscodex ) and corinne ( @maplekeene ). matt was just kind of There while me and corinne were spitballing ideas for aus that would be fun.

we thought of a western because it just seemed like an interesting route to take the characters in (also very heavily inspired by that one textpost thats like “it werent the whiskey what he were tryin to savor”, which ill get back to later). this was sometime after the episode where the thundermen fight the demons in last hope and escape by pegasi (i Think thats either ep 17 or 18), and i think i mentioned how it would be interesting if they took that moment to like. completely run away from the school. i dont think any of us really thought they would go back and talk to grey??? so we were thinking how the story could go without the school involved anymore, and so that’s where the on the run aspect came from. i then took the two ideas we were discussing (on the run and a western) and crashed them together to be like “hey! what if they ran away and then started new lives out west!”

it was never an idea i thought was going to be taken that seriously, but matt (as he always is) is an enabler with his art and he started drawing the boys in cowboy designs. This was the moment i knew i wanted to do Something with the idea, since it was hot on everyone’s mind.

the base idea (basically the first chapter) was based on a comic matthew would then post earlier in the day (on the day that i wrote chapter 1) that was based on the “it werent the whiskey what he were tryin to savor” textpost. i will link the updated comic here ur welcome matthew for not posting the older version bc i know you hate it now. this was the only reason i wanted to write ssoss. because i wanted to hurt matthew and, subsequently, everyone else in the friendzone.

and, honestly?? ssoss was only supposed to be about 2-3 chapters At Most. i Tried to do it all in one sitting, which is why the first chapter ended up being like 10k words!!! but i was getting burnt out and i got WAYYYYY too in-depth about How they escaped, so i felt having that short of a moment in the actual western part wasn’t enough. so then i announced in the notes of the first chapter that i would likely make a second and maybe a third chapter and have that be it. i had never written a really long fic before and i knew (w my history of unfinished but published wips) that i probably couldnt sustain myself for something longer than 4 chapters.

now, how the hell did i get here--8 chapters deep and over 100k words in the hole???? i honestly have no idea!!! the rest of the story has come from a number of places. the early plot beats were establishing moments for the characters on their own and together (some things i Did take from me and corinnes dms bc early on we talked abt it A Lot together, he knows what he contributed). i have trouble outlining things bc i feel as if it kills the motivation, so for the most part i would let ideas simmer in my head until i couldnt take it anymore and then write them all down. then, once i ran out of ideas (usually i come into a Writing Day with about 1-3 scenes thought of), i sit and talk aloud to myself about how the chapter should flow from there. one thing about me is i usually have the first and last scene Already decided when i sit down, so the rest is a matter of deciding how we get from point A to point B without making the whole chapter a wash.

i wish i could say there’s a method to my madness, but i honestly don’t know how i do it. since the moment i decided i wanted this to be way longer, i Have had a sense of the flow of plot. characters arcs i work on throughout writing (in fact i remember the day i had the epiphany about Argo’s epiphany, if yknow what i mean coughcoughchapter4endingcough, and how that ended up changing the rest of his following scenes).

also the ending i had No idea what it was going to be until LITERALLY when i was writing chapter 8. i had an epiphany and wrote down an outline of it so i wouldnt lose track of those thoughts. and the ending DID change because of actual graduation canon!!!! maybe one day i will reveal what the original ending was going to be, though i honestly kept my orig idea and just built stuff around it to make it work.

honestly, ssoss has been one of my greatest exercises in motivation and storyplanning. i don’t Plan much but i do think about the story CONSTANTLY, and it helps that i have a pretty decent memory!!!! there are scenes i’ve had to either cut or move because of either time (aka when its getting close to midnight on a writing day and im literally going insane) or just the scene no longer working w the flow of the chapter, which i’ve learned is par for the course!! sometimes ya gotta cut stuff.

also in terms of pushing myself to keep writing it? audience feedback/hype really does help me!!!! seeing my friends and random people freak out about updates is honestly like. the Reason i wanna write more bc it’s just so cool and humbling to see people appreciate my work!!!! i’ve never had like a “fandom famous” fic before, and tho i wouldn’t put myself at the level of fame Other taz writers have gotten, i’m pretty happy with my lot!!!!

#ignorance cloud on #ssoss #yeah ill put it in the tag why not #thank u egg!!!#i like how i answered this like i was being interviewed wow shes famous #anyways to make a LONG fuckin story short:#matt is an enabler and i let him and i have no idea how i got here #im just the wendys employee in the universes mental breakdown yknow #but its been fun!#mcnuggyy

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ephemelody · 5 years ago

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I’m sorry you’ve come to feel that way about kftf and fic in general. Kftf was one of those fics I had opened on my phone and set aside to come back to on a bad day (I love vampire Keith) and I’m a little disappointed that I waited too long to read it but that’s on me, not you. And I get it. I’ve recently started college and it sucks. I don’t know what I’m doing and it’s not fun and I hate it. So as a result I’ve started relying more and more on klance because they’re the only thing 1/

that makes me happy anymore (even though that’s probably not going to be sustainable much longer) and I’ve started trying to write stuff for them because I used to find writing fun when I was younger and it’s so difficult to write and not worry that it sounds bad or stupid or will be something that people judge me on, when in reality I know it’s probably fine but it just never feels like my writing’s good enough. My standards for myself are too high and I’m scared I’ll never reach them. 2/I’m worried this is beginning to sound like I’m trying to make you feel guilty for deleting for kftf or I’m dumping my own problems on you, neither of which is my intention here. I love your writing and I think you’re really talented and I have no doubt you’ll go on to succeed at whatever you try your hand at. I’m a little saddened by your decision, yes, but I totally understand and I support you. I’m sure you’ll get published and it’ll be amazing and I wish you the best. I’m sure we all do. 3/3

Hey anon, you’re absolutely fine no need to apologize. I knew that my decision would inevitably hurt some people, especially those who have been asking when I would go back to it. When I deleted KFTF, as dramatic as it sounds, it really did feel like ripping something out of me. So it was quite physically, a heart wrenching decision to make, and I’m sorry. Thank you for understanding.

I’m really sorry to hear that college has been hard on you. I know, in a way, how that can feel. Again, I loved my uni, but some of the hardest moments in my life happened during my time there. And I want to tell you as someone who survived those moments, it does get better. I hope it gets so much better for you anon. I hope you discover what you’re looking for. You will make it through. And if you discover that college isn’t for you, that’s absolutely okay too. It’s not the one path in life you have to follow. Do what’s right for you.

The thing that carried me through was writing for klance, so if writing and klance are your solaces, write with all your might. The fear of being ridiculed, the fear of not meeting your own expectations and being disheartened by it, are all really relatable and valid to a lot of writers. But I want to tell you that the people on AO3 are unbelievably kind, and I’ve been incredibly lucky with my readership. I know that a few other fanfic authors haven’t been as fortunate and have had a few questionable commenters, but posting on AO3 under a username, where no one on there knew who I was or what I was going through, was really liberating. And it gave me hope, it gave me strength, to keep posting my words. And I felt so happy with the readers I had that I felt comfortable enough to share aspects of my life and my struggles, and even though I’ve made this decision today to not write for fandom anymore to save my mental health, I will always be so, so, so grateful to every one of my readers who gave me the courage to begin pursuing my dream.

So I encourage you to write, and I encourage you to share your work. It is nervewracking and terrifying, and there may always be a layer of anxiety to it. But if you love writing then please continue writing. Don’t let anyone stop you, most of all yourself. Big expectations are daunting, but it will keep you hungry and ambitious and you will get better the more you write and the more you read and practice. You will meet your own expectations without realizing it, and after you meet those expectations, you’re gonna set even higher ones for yourself.

So give yourself a chance, please. If there’s anything I want to leave behind as a fanfic writer, it’s knowing I was able to encourage other people to start writing too. I’m wishing you all the best anon and cheering for you!!

And thank you for the well wishes too ♡

#you can do it anon #Anonymous

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everlarkficexchange · 6 years ago

Text

You Belong with Me - Prompt 10

Written by: @iliveilaughiloveiread on tumblr, colleenegan25 on AO3

Prompt by: Anonymous

Prompt 10: Based on “You Belong With Me” by Taylor Swift music video: Katniss is Lucas Till’s character, she has a relationship with Gale, but she doesn’t really like being with him. Peeta is pining for her, like Taylor Swift’s character, observing them and think he and K belong together.

AN: This prompt was fun for me because this song was popular when I first began dating my husband. Also I used one of my ex-boyfriends for some of Gale’s annoying traits. Thanks to @butrfac14 for being my beta and turning my ramblings into a coherent story. Also thanks to @everlarkficexchange for running this awesome thing.

Rating: General with some cursing. Douchebag boyfriend warning

Disclaimer: This is a fandom work and I own nothing.

You Belong With Me

Wednesday

“Hey Kat, how’s your week been?” Peeta smiled as he saw her approach their favorite booth at Sae’s.

“Exhausting. I can’t wait to eat some real food,” Katniss said, plopping her backpack down on the booth. It was a weekly tradition that he and Katniss eat lunch together now that they didn’t live in the dorms and share all their meals.

“Uh Kat I know you’re always hungry and all, but what exactly are you talking about?” Peeta questions his best friend of 3 years.

“Well you know how Gale gets with food. No caffeine, no nitrates, no refined sugars and definitely nothing fried.” she trailed off

“Oh yes I know ‘his body is a temple.’ I mean what kind of a freak doesn’t eat chocolate?! No offense.”

“None taken.”

“But what does that have to do with you?” Peeta was concerned.

“We’ve been cooking together more, and he came to the grocery store with me last week so I only bought stuff that he would eat too. But then I realized that I’m starving all the time because I am not a woman who can sustain herself on vegetables and quinoa.” Katniss let out an exasperated sigh.

“Duh! How, after 2 years, does he not realize that?” Peeta is indignant on her behalf. It’s one thing for someone to put limits on their own diet, but forcing them on someone else was uncalled for. And anyone who knew Katniss knew she needed to eat.

“I think Gale thinks he’s changing me. Maybe he is a little but I just don’t think I can be the matching kale smoothies for breakfast partner he’s envisioning me to be.”

“Well Kat, I can’t imagine why he’d even want you to be one of those girls. Lucky for you I already ordered us some Irish nachos–which should be arriving any minute.”

“You’re the best!” Katniss smiled up at Peeta.

~If you can see I’m the one who understands you~

Second Wednesday

Katniss is waiting for him in their booth. “Peeta I need you”

Peeta coughs at how that sounds, “What do you need?”

“Will you come to pre-bowl after this? I have to miss bowling league tomorrow night because I have an exam. You know Jo will kill me if I mess with our team’s chances of first place this year.“

“Of course, but aren’t you cutting it a little close? Don’t your pre-bowl numbers have to be in at least 24 hours ahead of time?”

“Look at you, Peeta! You already know the bowling league rules without even playing. Yes I am cutting it close but I hate going down there by myself, so I waited until I knew you were free.”

Peeta doesn’t even bother to question why she didn’t ask Gale to go with her. He’s too excited about having some one on one time with her that lasts longer than their weekly lunch dates.

After an hour of bowling, talking, and laughing Peeta was feeling great. Lighter than he has all week.

“Thanks for hanging out with me while I did that! You always make me feel better.” Katniss smiled and gave him a hug before walking back towards her apartment. It’s only once he got home that Peeta began to wonder what was going on that made Katniss need to feel better.

~Been here all along so why can’t you see~

Third Wednesday

Katniss happily munches on Sae’s famous buffalo chicken sandwich and fries. “Is there a wrong way to make a bed?” she asks her friend.

“Huh?” Peeta’s mouth is full of fries. He finishes chewing. “What do you mean? You know I always make my bed. My mom drilled that routine into us as children.”

“Right, that’s why I’m asking you. Is there a specific ‘correct,’ (using her fingers to make air quotes) way to make a bed?”

Peeta shakes his head,, “I don’t think so. I think the military has certain routines and so do hotels. But for most people as long as the sheets and blankets are straightened out they consider that a made bed. Why are we talking about this? Did you start watching HGTV or something?”

“No it’s just… Gale really likes the bed made. And it’s all the same to me to just leave the sheets and blankets in a mess since that’s how they’ll be as soon I go back to bed. I know that’s not his preference, so this morning when he was in the shower I made the bed. Just to be nice, you know? I’m sure that it was a little sloppy but I thought it looked good. Then without saying a word to me Gale walked back into the bedroom and pulled the covers back off before proceeding to make the bed again.” he just undid everything and made it again.”

Peeta just stared at Katniss.

“Seriously? He remade the bed after you already made it? Kat that’s really fucked up. What kind of a person doesn’t acknowledge when something thoughtful has been done for them? Then just corrects it because they think they can do it better?”

“Right? I appreciate your indignation. Gale just shrugged it off and told me I was being too sensitive.” Katniss shakes her head at the memory.

“Well on behalf of all bed makers, let me make it clear that redoing it after someone else has already made the bed is rude and strange.” Peeta thinks to himself I would never take her for granted like that.

Katniss smiles, “Thanks Peet.”

~You belong with me ~

Fourth Wednesday

“How was your weekend Kat? You never made it over to Murphy’s on Saturday.”

“I know sorry. Ugh. Gale dragged me to another Frat party,” Katniss rolls her eyes. “I feel like now that we’re 21 we shouldn’t have to go to them anymore. But Gale insists it’s an important part of his ‘brotherhood.’ How was the band?”

“Really great actually! They did some acoustic songs that you would have loved. They were hauntingly beautiful.” Peeta smiles wistfully.

“So jealous! I was stuck listening to the latest Ariana Grande song on repeat all night. Drinking shitty beer.”

“That sounds awful. Why didn’t you just leave?” asks Peeta.

“I tried! I told Gale I couldn’t handle it anymore when the sister sorority’s new pledge class showed up. Then he told me that I wasn’t being a supportive girlfriend by bailing on him on a Saturday night.”

Bailing?! Peeta shook his head. How could Gale claim she was bailing when she showed up to a party she clearly didn’t want to go to even when she had other plans.

“If you ask me he wasn’t being very supportive of your interests.” Peeta mumbles half under his breath.

“Yeah, we got into a fight and I ended up just sucking it up and staying for a little longer until I could go home and just go to bed,” sighed Katniss. Doesn’t that sound like quality time with your partner.”

“Sorry to hear that. I didn’t mean to bring up any drama.”

“Not your fault, but I promise that I’ll be at the next show with you even if there is a frat party.” Katniss says.

~I’m listening to the kind of music she doesn’t like

And she’ll never know your story like I do’ ~

Fifth Wednesday

Peeta walks in to Sae’s and finds Katniss already waiting at their booth surrounded by books, papers and her laptop.

“Hey, you look busy,” he says as he slides in across from her.

“This semester is really kicking my ass Peet. All my classes are moving at full force and the readings and homework have really been piling up.” Katniss is many things but she is not a procrastinator, so Peeta realizes that she must have a ton of work to do if she’s bringing it with her today.”

“If you’re too busy for lunch it’s okay Katniss, we can take a week off. I don’t want you to get behind on your studies,” Peeta looks genuinely concerned.

“No!” Katniss practically shouts. “This lunch is the only thing saving my sanity. Gale and I have been fighting a lot over anything and everything. This week he’s annoyed at how much homework I’m doing and thinks that I’m using it as a way to avoid him.”

“Seriously? That guy can be a real piece of work,” Peeta shakes his head in disgust. A tiny part of his heart skips a beat knowing that he’s the thing that is saving her sanity.

“Yeah I don’t know if maybe I am trying to avoid him subconsciously. He’s making me feel all nervous and stressed to be around, which I do not need on top of my heavy class load this semester,” Katniss puts her head down on the wood table. “Peet, I just don’t think I can do it anymore.”

Peeta tries not to panic seeing his my friend in such distress. He moves over to her side of the booth and starts rubbing circles on her back.

“Do what?” He asks quietly.

“The fighting with Gale is exhausting. We’re never on the same page about anything. He gets mad about the food I buy and eat, and how I clean the apartment. And now he thinks that I’m doing too much homework? I can’t keep doing this, it’s too much.”

“Katniss, you should tell Gale all this. I’m sure he’s not intentionally trying to stress you out. Remember relationships are supposed to make you happy and feel supported, not angry and stressed. I know you’ve been dating a long time but you’re not married. You shouldn’t feel obligated to stay with him just because you’ve been with him a long time.” Peeta shocks himself by saying that out loud. He quickly adds, “Sorry if that got a little preachy. I just hate seeing you upset”

Katniss shakes her head and gives a weak smile. “It’s okay. Can we just eat and talk about something else to get my mind off this?”

“I know just the thing! Put your books away, we can go to the library after lunch. Let’s get milkshakes and cheese fries while I tell you all about Rye’s antics last weekend. Spoiler alert - he had to go to the hospital again.”

Katniss laughs at Rye’s ridiculousness while drinking her chocolate milkshake. After they finish she smiles at Peeta and squeezes his hand, “Thank you. That was just what I needed.”

~I can’t help thinking this is how it ought to be

Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself hey isn’t this easy~

Sixth Wednesday

Peeta is reading a book in their booth when he sees her walk through the door. Or at least it’s someone who vaguely looks like Katniss. She’s dragging her feet, her backpack looks like it’s weighing her down, her face looks bewildered

“Katniss, are you okay?”

“Well I finally did it.”

“Did what?”

“I broke up with Gale.” Peeta tries to keep his face neutral when his feelings are really swinging from elation to shock to mortification at his elation.

“Okay…how’d that go? How are you feeling?”

“I thought I’d feel relief and I thought he’d see it too. We’d been fighting a lot, and we’d barely spent any time together anymore. And the time that we did spent together we weren’t enjoying each other’s company you know? It just seemed like it was time. He’s a rational, logical person and I thought when I laid it out there like that he would agree that we’d be happier apart.”

“But he didn’t…?” Peeta prompted.

“No! He acted so offended! And shocked. Shocked - Peeta! How in the hell could be shocked that I want to break up when all he does is act frustrated and disappointed with me? He said he had started planning our future together, and that it was selfish of me to want to throw that all away. I told him that I was sorry but I just didn’t think I could be the partner he thought I should be. By the end of my rational explanation for why it seemed obvious we’d be happier apart he was almost in tears.”

“Gale was crying?” Peeta was very comfortable with his emotions but Gale was not. He was much more stoic and often seemed like emotions were a waste of time. Peeta had always thought that’s why the guy became a computer science major. Computers didn’t have feelings.

“I know right! He kept begging me to tell him what to change and was so insistent that we could fix it. But I was just too worn out so I told him the time for that had come and gone.” She sighed, “sorry for all the word vomit but it’s just I’m so tired.”

“It’s okay, Fall break will be here in 2 days. I’m proud of you. While it seems like your breakup conversation was difficult at least it’s over now.” Peeta says reassuringly.

“I wish it was over.”

“What do you mean? I thought you said you broke up.” Peeta looks at Katniss puzzled.

“We did. But Gale basically said he wasn’t accepting that outcome. So now to prove me wrong he’s trying to do all these things to show how much he cares about me and that we should be together. I know he’s trying to kind and romantic, but it’s feeling clingy and like he won’t let go.”

“What’s he doing exactly?”

“Well the day after our breakup he left me a mix cd under the door of my apartment. The next day he left some chocolates with Johanna to give to me. Then yesterday I found a massage gift certificate in my mailbox with a note that said, ‘I know you’ve been stressed out, take some time to relax.’ I know it’s all coming from a good place, but why did it take a break up for him to realize that he should care about me? Am I a heartless bitch if all these nice gestures just make me more annoyed about the way he acted the past few months.

“No, of course not. Your feelings are valid, if Gale wanted to do some nice romantic things he had plenty of opportunities. If you’re still confused about your feelings that’s okay too. You’re only 21, Katniss. You don’t have to have everything figured out yet.”

“Thanks Peeta, for everything. I don’t know how I would’ve survived this semester so far without you.” Peeta ignores the beat his heart skipped and comforts his friend.

“Kat go home, see Prim, recharge. It’s Fall break next week, so just take some time to be away from all the college drama. I think it’ll really help you relax and prioritize.” Peeta advises.

~And you’ve got a smile that could light up this whole town

I haven’t seen it in a while since she brought you down

You say you’re fine

I know you better then that~

A month later…Tenth Wednesday

Katniss sits in their booth anxiously rolling a flower between her hands.

Peeta is taken aback when he sees her wearing a dress with her hair down and flowing.

“What’s all this?” he asks as he sits down.

“I got my priorities straight.” She hands him the flower and he’s surprised to see that it’s a dandelion. Where did she find one this late in the fall? The better question is why is she giving him a flower?

“And…?” he doesn’t want to get his hopes up.

“I think what I’ve been looking for has been here the whole time. Peeta would you like to go out with me on Saturday night?” Katniss looks hopeful.

“Yes, of course. Of course I would.” Peeta beams at her.

“Great!” She smiles back at him. “Also I already ordered the Irish nachos.”

“And that’s why you’re my favorite person!” Peeta

~I think I know where you belong

I think I know it’s with me

Can’t you see that I’m the one who understands you

Been here all along so why can’t you see

You belong with me~

#Springtime Edition 2019 #iliveiloveilaughiread #prompt 10 #submission

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mianix · 6 years ago

Text

"Mine" ~ A Gift Fic for LukeLemon-Art

I have been among the DBH community for a few months now and the one thing I love most about it is how supportive everyone seems to be. It doesn’t matter if you are an artist, writer, animator, video editor, cosplayer etc. You are welcomed here with open arms and encouraged to do your very best.

The best example of this I can give is @lukelemon-art. I have watched them encourage people of all mediums and fandoms to do well. I’ve experienced their fun nature and their generosity myself when they reblogged my friend @bunnylove56’s Reed900 fic when they weren’t sure anyone would like it. They gave her the confidence to keep going and I adore Luke for conspiring with me to get her to keep going. I never expected it and it only proves my point further.

The above artwork was recently done by Luke with an amazing backstory of Connor, discarding his LED and Gavin chooses to keep it, worn by a leather strap around his neck. Not only did this warm my heart, but inspired me to write my first Convin story as a gift to Luke for all their kindness, not just to me, but the community. Their art makes me happy, as I imagine it does a lot of you. So here’s me supporting their art and repaying them for too many kindnesses to count.

Note: This gift fic is rated M and contains a big old lemon…lol Because of Tumblr’s new rules and to be safe, the preview will end with a link to finish the story on AO3 instead of the typical cut to read the entire thing on my blog. So if you aren’t into reading something a bit smutty, go back now, gentle reader.

———-

Connor wondered, honestly, what frustrated him more: the idea of Detective Reed disobeying Hank’s direct orders, or the fact that Connor had made a deal with him to get them to this point.

He had been trying diligently over the past year to find ways of endearing himself to the bitter Detective, but nothing he did seemed to quell the man’s hatred for him. No amount of help, kind gestures, or careful consideration had changed a thing between them.

They fought constantly on the job and it had shown its own wear on Connor over time. He recalled how, in a fit of frustration, he had pulled off his own LED and tossed it at the Detective’s feet.

“THERE! Since it bothers you so much! Now you can stop complaining about it and actually get some work done. Oh, wait. That’s right! I mean sit on your damn phone instead of actually helping us for once!”

Everyone had looked shocked to see such anger come from him, but they often forgot he was no longer a thing who took orders. It had all just boiled over and he couldn’t take it anymore. A part of him felt guilt at the look that crossed Reed’s face, but he walked away before he could worry on it too much. In that moment, he felt justified, but later he regretted it.

If for nothing else, he had taken pride in wearing his LED once he’d deviated to remind him of their struggle and to never be ashamed of who he was. Because it made him into the man he was now, who had friends, family and a life that was entirely his own.

This, naturally, was how he found himself helping assist Detective Reed into his apartment.

“Last door, on the left.” Gavin groaned as he stumbled a bit.

They’d been in a scuffle only an hour before, all thanks to Detective Yells-Too-Much. Hank, in some disturbing thought to force them to into being civil, had downright ordered them to work together.

“Frankly, everyone is getting tired of listening to you two argue all the time. It’s not productive and seriously hurts office morale. We’re fucking homicide. We see gruesome death and tragedy on the daily and somehow you two bitching every day is making it even worse.” Hank had said, frustrated when the two had yet another blow up.

“What about Nines?” Gavin had asked. It seemed the further from friendly he got from Connor, the more he stopped harassing the RK900 model. He’d actually started working with him, to Connor’s surprise.

“We’re swapping partners for the week. Nines will work with me and you two need to learn to work together. Fowler’s down my neck about this and if you two can’t work this out there’s the possibility of reassignment to a different department.”

That had gotten a reaction, from both of them. Because it would likely be one or the other, which meant Connor would have to leave Hank or Gavin would be losing his position in his preferred field. Neither of these were an option.

Connor moved to the door, pressing Reed to the wall to help him stand better.

“Keys?” Connor asked.

“Pocket.” Gavin replied with a twinge of pain. They’d been staking out a warehouse, helping out the drug division on a red ice case, but couldn’t seem to not fight. They were completely hopeless being stuck in the confines of Gavin’s car and their inability to ignore one another got them caught.

They were set upon by some low level lackey’s who luckily were too stupid to be properly armed. Connor had sustained some damage to his arm, but had come out holding his own. Reed, on the other hand, had not. A quick glance at the wound on his abdomen told Connor the glass bottle had cut Gavin as he tried to dodge it. He would be okay, but he would need stitches and proper medical care.

“Fuck that. I don’t have the money to pay for an ER visit. I’ll just do it myself, like always.” Gavin had said with labored breathing as Connor drove them away from the warehouse, the sound of gunfire finally breaking the air as more lackeys came to their friends’ aid. It was fight or flight for Connor and at seeing his human companion bleeding and exhausted, he chose to live and fight another day.

“What do you mean like always?” Connor asked incredulously. It was purely rhetorical though as he didn’t need to consider it much to know Gavin Reed refused to go to the hospital unless he was taken there by force… or unconscious. Connor considered that as a valid option, but cast it aside at the thought of the assault charges that might accompany it when Gavin gained consciousness.

But Reed was stubborn and finally they’d come to a compromise: Gavin would allow Connor to do it for him. He could locate the proper programs to accomplish the task of patching Reed up. If he could not get him proper medical help, then this was the next best option.

Connor stared at the Detective, whose free arm hung a bit limply at his side. Blood could be seen staining his shirt there, as well. Wonderful. Without much thought, Connor plunged his hand down into the Detective’s jean pocket to feel around for keys. He felt Gavin stiffen at his shoulder.

“Fuckin’ careful, dipshit. You’re grabbing my keys, not playing pocket pool.” Gavin bit out between clenched teeth. Connor ignored him and pulled the keys out, setting about the task of opening the door. Once he did, he heard a loud mewling getting closer.

The small, furry head of a cat peeked through the crack of the door, it’s tiny paw pulling at it to further open it.

“Don’t let him out. He’s a fucking escape artist.” Gavin groaned as he pushed the door in and pressed the cat inside. Connor followed behind him, closing the door and entering into Gavin Reed’s apartment for the first time.

Gavin went directly for his cabinets as the first room they entered was the kitchen. Off to the right was an open archway into what Connor considered was the living room. He didn’t have much time to consider it though as he watched Reed pulling out more medical supplies then he figured most humans would keep in their homes.

“How often do you get injured on the job?” Connor asked at the fully stocked cabinet of disinfectants, gauze, bandages and other medical supplies.

“Enough to be prepared.” Gavin replied as he opened a drawer to his left and pulled out a partially full bottle of whiskey and a small, unmarked kit. Connor eyed him for a moment, but decided it wasn’t worth the headache.

Gavin sat on the counter with some difficulty and Connor had no choice but to help him, as his arm was of no real use. Once there, Gavin opened the whiskey bottle with his teeth and took a deep dram of the amber liquid. Connor immediately took hold of the bottle and pulled it away.

“What the fuck, Connor? You gonna make me go through this stone cold sober?” Gavin asked bitterly.

“You’re the one who refused to go to the hospital, where they could ease the pain you’re about to feel. You have no room to complain and I need you lucid.” Connor said simply. Perhaps a small part of him enjoyed mocking Reed, but he tried not to think on it too much.

Connor turned to look at the supplies he was given and felt his eyes flutter as he downloaded the necessary program to properly sew stitches. He considered asking how Gavin also had access to the items required to do this, but was certain he’d probably either not get a response or would get a bullshit one.

Connor lifted the hem of Gavin’s shirt, glancing to assess the damage, but knowing full well his first instinct was correct. He did his best to clean the wound, having Gavin hold his shirt up so he could work. Connor noticed he was in pain, but he gritted his teeth against it.

“Since we have some quiet time, are you ready to tell me why you hate me so much?” Connor asked, figuring anything that distracted Gavin would be better than letting the man suffer.

“Because you’re a brown nosing cunt who - FUCK! The hell Connor?” Gavin roared when Connor threw caution to the wind and straight up applied the chemical cleanser without care to the wound.

“Sorry. My hand slipped.” Connor replied stiffly as he grabbed another piece of cloth and tried to be more gentle. Gavin glared at him, still tensing for the pain he no doubt anticipated, but Connor was content with letting the snide remark go.

“What do you care whether or not I like you anyway? We’re not partners, so why the hell should you give a damn?” Gavin asked, choosing his wording more carefully this time as Connor dabbed around the edge of his cut.

“I’ve only been trying to figure it out since day one. You’d think I personally wronged you in some way.”

“If you haven’t noticed, I’m an asshole to all androids.” Gavin replied. Connor’s eyes lifted and he noted Gavin had been watching him, but the moment their eyes met he quickly looked away.

“That’s not true, actually. What about Nines? You show him more regard than you ever have for me.” Connor said pointedly, not faltering in his look. Something passed over Gavin’s face, it was minute, but it was there. A moment of panic, then recovery.

“Nines does as he’s told. He doesn’t get in my way or stop me from doing my job.” Gavin replied and his eyes came back to Connor, side glancing him, then looking down to where the small cat was perched on the floor, watching them. It moved gracefully, wiggling its tiny behind before it jumped on the counter beside Gavin and stepped on his thigh. Gavin opted to focus there.

“Nines also is still an android. It’s very simple Detective. I. AM. ALIVE. I’m not a piece of furniture for you to do with as you please and until you learn this, it will be the primary cause of our arguments.” Connor said in quick succession. How many times must they have this conversation, re-worded in so many different ways?

“I’m in fucking pain here. Can’t you give me a break, just once?” Gavin asked and Connor noted his voice sounded weary. The cat at his thigh pressed its face into Gavin’s palm and he gave it such a momentary look of tenderness that It shocked Connor. Then it walked further up Reed’s leg, jumped effortlessly onto his shoulder and stood there.

“That’s not really sanitary for what we’re doing Reed.” Connor began, but found himself intrigued by how the cat walked behind Gavin’s head and laid itself around his neck and shoulders so casually. Its foot disturbed the leather strap that usually hung around the Detective’s neck, dipping down into his shirt. Connor had always wondered what that was, but opted to not pry.

“The cat stays. He’s more of a comfort than you are.” Gavin said, but it wasn’t as mean spirited as it might’ve normally been, because the cat was rubbing its face against the stubble on his chin. Connor just watched, forgetting himself momentarily. Who the hell is this and what did he do with Gavin Reed?

When Gavin’s eyes came back to Connor he seemed to remember himself and that look of indifference came back. It broke the momentary spell and Connor continued working.

Silence hung between them as he worked, except for the purring of the cat on Gavin’s shoulders and the occasional groan or gasp of pain from him as Connor used skilled hands to suture up the cut. He preferred the silence, not remembering a time when the two of them had been so close and not blowing up into a full argument.

He wasn’t sure why this gentler side of the Detective intrigued him. He did not even know he had a pet and never would’ve guessed he could be affectionate with anything. But as long as Connor pretended not to notice, Gavin lavished the animal with attention. Had he ever seen the Detective smile where it didn’t feel like he was baring his teeth as a threat? No, not around Connor. In the pain, he sought comfort in the animal and it seemed to sense his need of it. It never left his shoulders, nuzzling and pawing at the man the more his discomfort seemed to peak.

When he was done with his side, Connor moved to roll up the sleeve on Gavin’s shirt. This wound was superficial in comparison to the other and needed nothing more than a bandage. He stepped into Gavin, the Detective’s knee brushing the inside of Connor’s thigh. Gavin jumped, startling the cat, but did not remove it.

“Careful.” Gavin said in a low tone. Connor tilted his head, trying to figure out what exactly had set the Detective off. Gavin moved his knee, unable to meet Connor’s eyes and with a slight blush filling his cheeks.

“You do realize I have no genitalia to injure, correct?” Connor said innocently enough, but Gavin’s face went a bright shade of red almost instantly at his words.

“Why the fuck would you tell me that?” Gavin asked, obviously startled by this admission.

“You feared hurting me, didn’t you?” Connor asked in reply.

“That is so fucking weird.” Gavin continued with a groan as he covered his face with his one free hand.

“I’m a prototype, Detective. What use would I have for - “

“STOP talking. Please? Just, stop.” Gavin begged, still not looking at him. Silence hung between them, awkward to say the very least. Then Reed broke the silence. “Your arm. It’s injured.”

Connor looked down to observe the blue blood soaking through his jacket arm. He pulled his arm out of it and found his white dress shirt was covered in blue as well. Connor shrugged his jacket off, laying it neatly over the kitchen chair. When he turned back, Gavin was moving tenderly off the counter.

“Wait.” Connor called out as he went to help the man down. Reed waved his hands away, the cat still laying around his neck like a scarf. It yawned, unbothered, and Connor wondered if this was a natural thing for these two with how contented it was soaking up the Detective’s warmth.

“Get on the counter.” Reed said suddenly as he reached for the small, unmarked kit he’d had hiding with the whiskey bottle. Connor eyed it curiously, but when Reed turned and noticed him not moving he added, “Get a move on.”

“I’ll be fine. Once I’m back at the office I can use one of the android repair kits to patch up my arm. You needn’t worry.”

“What the hell do you think this is?” Reed asked as he opened the small container. To Connor’s surprise, it was an android repair kit. A crudely put together one, yes, but still exactly what was needed for superficial wounds like what Connor had. He stared at Gavin, who seemed to be getting flustered by Connor’s sudden attentions. “What?”

“I’m just surprised you’d have something like that so readily available.” Connor responded truthfully. He wouldn’t think that Gavin would even care enough to keep something like that around.

“I have an android partner. Why wouldn’t I?” Gavin asked, glaring at him. But there was something else there and for the first time, in a long time, Connor saw something in his peripheral vision. It was faint, but unmistakable as it ghosted into his vision.

Software instability ^^

It had been over a year since he’d deviated, since he’d broken free from his programming. These programs were gone and yet, for whatever reason, it had shown on his periphery screen.

Without knowing why, Connor obeyed and sat on the counter without any argument. Reed moved close and looked awkwardly at his arm, stared, then looked away.

“You’re gonna have to remove your shirt. I can’t get to it and if we need the soldering iron I wouldn’t recommend putting it close to fabric.” Gavin said simply. He wasn’t looking at Connor, but focusing on the cat on his shoulder instead.

“Of course.” Connor responded and began undoing the buttons on his shirt. Connor didn’t know why, but there was static in the air that seemed to intensify with each button he undid. Gavin wasn’t looking at him, but he felt like he was being watched anyway.

Once the shirt was open, he slid his arms out of it and laid it neatly beside him. He turned to look at the cut and as he figured it wasn’t anything to worry about. He would likely be scarred from the soldering, but that wasn’t important. He turned back to look expectantly at the Detective, but stopped.

Gavin was still looking away from him, arms crossed at his chest. Connor noted something else of interest. Gavin’s pulse was elevated. He’d attributed this to stress and pain as he worked on Gavin’s wounds, but now he wasn’t so sure. His eyes could see piloerection forming on the man’s forearms; goosebumps. And the red hue that had been on his face had traveled down his neck to the skin peeking out from the v neck shirt he wore.

“Gavin?” Connor asked when the man did nothing. He saw him take a deep breath, closing his eyes momentarily, exhaling. Then his eyes turned, focused hard on Connor’s and faltered. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. Just a little light headed from blood loss. I’ll be fine.” Gavin responded. But when he moved towards Connor, he caught a downward glance that became fixated on his thirium pump regulator. As if involuntary, Gavin’s hand came out and moved as if to touch it, but recoiled after a moment. As if he didn’t realize he was doing it.

The static intensified and made Connor’s skin prickle.

“Are you sure you’re okay Gavin? The wound is superficial and can wait if you’d like to sit down.” Connor offered, completely confused by this sudden change in demeanor. The whole time his cat perched, unbothered and suddenly unnoticed by Gavin as his eyes focused on Connor’s bare torso. Connor saw the man’s eyes dilate.

Software instability ^^

Gavin moved closer, setting the kit to one side of Connor’s hip, then taking his hand in his own to position Connor’s arm where it would be easiest to work on it. All Connor could do was watch, oddly fascinated by whatever phenomena was taking over the Detective and possibly…himself. This was new and fascinating to him. Exciting, even.

At one point, not wanting to focus so much of his attention on Gavin, Connor lifted his hand and stroked the back end of the cat as it purred happily. He saw Gavin’s eyes glance towards his hand, stiffening slightly until he realized its destination. He shook his head, blinking with a short breath as he set back to task.

“Okay. That should do it. Grip my hand.” Gavin said as he lifted his hand in front of him. Not in a handshake, but in fully open palm in front of Connor. He pressed his open palm to Gavin’s, entwined their fingers and gripped. “No malfunctions or weakness?”

“No. It feels just fine, actually. Thank you.” Connor replied genuinely, but Gavin was not quick to release his hand. Connor eyed him, that curiosity itching so much to be scratched. What was this? He felt his own thirium pump shift, more static. This was having a physical effect on him he could not place, the longer Gavin held his hand like that. “Gavin?”

In an instant, he hand let his go and he turned back to the table to place everything back into the kit.

“You should be good now. Probably best if you left. I should get some rest.” Gavin said quickly, but something else caught Connor’s attention as Gavin turned his back on him. Blood on the back of the Detective’s shirt. Another wound he hadn’t seen.

“Gavin. You’re still injured.” Connor said as he hopped down off the counter and walked over to him. He felt Gavin tense as he took the rim of the neckline on his shirt and pulled it down a bit.

“It’s okay. I can do it.” Gavin said quickly.

“It’s on your back. You can’t reach there. Take off your shirt and I’ll get it for you.” Connor offered. When Gavin didn’t move, he added “As soon as I make sure it’s nothing bad I will leave. You agreed to this earlier, remember?”

Gavin sighed, lifted his hands to gently remove the cat from his shoulders. He sat it onto the floor where it remained, staring up at them as if disappointed to no longer be a part of the situation. Then, begrudgingly, Gavin put his hands to the hem of his shirt and tugged upwards. For a moment, Connor caught the flash of something blue glint as it moved at the base of Gavin’s neck, then he realized that it was an LED. Unmistakably, his LED.

Gavin’s eyes followed his no doubt startled looking ones to the necklace at his chest and realization dawned there as he turned away, scrambling to get back into the shirt. Maybe hoping Connor didn’t notice?

“Gavin…” Connor began, but Gavin just started walking away from him. Without thought, he pursued the man as he entered his bedroom off the living room. Gavin tried to close the door, but Connor pushed it open easily as Gavin stumbled backwards. “Is that my LED?”

“It’s not what you think.” Gavin said quickly as he stood by the bed, arm out as if Connor might punch him. But Connor didn’t feel anger. He didn’t know what to feel, because he didn’t know why a part of him was hanging around Gavin Reed’s neck.

“Is that my LED?” Connor asked again. “Let me see it.”

He stepped forward, hand outstretched to pull at the leather straps that held it up, but Gavin smacked his hand away. That startled him, but did not stop his pursuit. Gavin grabbed at his hands, trying to prevent him from seeing it again and Connor found himself struggling with the Detective, being pulled towards him, hitting the bed and straddling over Gavin as he yanked the man’s shirt down. It was his LED, still glowing a dim blue as it pulsated against Gavin’s chest as his heart rate elevated quickly.

Gavin was breathing heavily and that red hue was more apparent on his chest as Connor held the shirt collar open. Gavin’s eyes were lidded and suddenly Connor realized something. Like all the puzzle pieces were falling into place.

“You-” He began, but Gavin leaned up quickly and pressed his lips against his. Connor’s eyes widened, unsure of what to do, but finding himself intrigued. Fascinated. He could analyze the alcohol still left on Gavin’s tongue as it ghosted between his lips. His body temperature peaked, the open eyes watching him fully dilated and a scent lingered between them, coming from the Detective’s skin. Gavin took his bottom lip between his own and tugged. Connor felt something at this, but could not define it and that only made him pursue it more.

Static.

———-

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serenagaywaterford · 5 years ago

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'#i am so upset at tht about this lol #(mostly cos yeah reality is that. but i'm watchign fiction dudes. gimme some character journeys. gimme development. gimme hope. #this flatline they have serena on just isn't good storytelling. straight up.)' -- i agree. & the idea i hate the most is that moss & the tht crew might have had a boner over whitford joining them & decided to give him what could have been serena's arc. the architect of the damn colonies can turn out decent but serena can't. GOT IT

“the architect of the damn colonies can turn out decent but serena can’t. GOT IT”

this is probably what drives me the most mad about the choices they made for characters in s3. lawrence literally–unequivocally and by his own admission as well as multiple other characters–created THE FUCKING COLONIES: prison labour camps where ONLY women go to suffer excruciating pain and rot from disease and DIE. he also, unarguably and explicitly, created THE ENTIRE ECONOMIC SYSTEM on which gilead relies on for its propagation and survival.

without HIM, gilead would NOT exist. and this isn’t a little thing. it’s like, it literally would have fallen apart without his massive contribution. (sure, maybe they would have found another genius economist with a penchant for brutal misogyny but as it stands, they didn’t have one. and HE STILL helps gilead survive.)

but uwu, he makes jokes and doesn’t do the ceremony and loves his wife so WHAT A GREAT GUY! LET’S GIVE HIM A RELUCTANT REDEMPTION ARC!!!!

i fucking loathe him. and he was shown multiple times even in s3 what he thinks of ALL women, and that isn’t fucking much. he’s gross. “i love my wife” YEAH sure buddy. fuck you. if you truly loved her, you wouldn’t have created an entire system where she gets fucked right over to the point she kills herself. cool beans, dude.

s3 was all about lawrence and june being reluctant allies and her working her dumbass moves on him, and that bullshit handholding at the funeral FOR THE WIFE THAT JUNE BASICALLY KILLED??? please just let me vomit in my mouth a bit.

he is not a good guy. he is not a nice guy. he does not like women. he does not care about them. he’s a pathetic little misogynist that she looks out for himself. but omg look how conflicted he is about the ceremony!!! UWU PRECIOUS BEAN, TOO PURE FOR THIS HORRIBLE WORLD!!

it’s like fandom/the showrunners are just salivating over male characters to woobiefy.

meanwhile MEANWHILE there’s a female character, the second most developed character on the entire show with the second most amount of screentime (prior to mid s3 anyway) and already a foil to june and “villain”esque character theoretically capable of change, but hey, no. let’s ignore the entire trajectory serena was on for the latter half of s2. let’s even ignore early s3 and all that set up. let’s just FUCKING FLATLINE her and make her 100% obsessed with a baby. it’s not like that storyline was already wrapped up in s2 and she’d moved on by early s3.

all so june could have some ~exciting plot of winning over lawrence and oooooh look it’s bradley whitford. what a great guy. he’s so funnieeeee and nice.

it really does feel like they aborted serena’s arc for the sake of inserting whitford into what should have been serena’s journey of gradually coming to terms with her involvement in gilead, her own overwhelming guilt about her involvement (which i would like to point out is LESS than lawrence’s contributions. just so we’re all on the same page). and i know miller has said he “doesn’t believe in redemption arcs” (bullshit. that’s pure bullshit. they exist whether you believe in them or not, for one thing.) but lawrence’s character has been doing EXACTLY that. and all the fandom is frothing about how amazing he is blah blah blah. fucking miss me with that. i will NEVER root for a man who has done that to women and is a KEY player in gilead. he didn’t just help invent it, he CURRENTLY still sustains it. he seemed to have little concern for ANYBODY even at the beginning of s3. yet still he’s a hero. (at least the character is like “oooh i’m not a hero” which kinda sounded totally insincere to me. the same way people throw pity parties for themselves.)

but god forbid a problematic female character portrayed by a fantastic (but lesser known) actress gets the same generosity. and what’s even crazier is that the audience was generally in favor and excited about serena joining june in the resistance prior to s3, and even in the beginning episodes of s3. based on social media anyway.

but no……….

i just….

it infuriates me how they chose to give what could have been a decent character arc for serena to lawrence instead (and to take that from yvonne and hand it over to whitford cos he’s just so great. rolling my eyes so hard.). and everyone is just like “yasss king! we love you!! what great guy for saving those kids!!! yay redemption for lawrence! i love brad whitford so amazing give him an emmy!!!”

i get they need to keep serena around and in some sort of conflict for june.

actually no. i don’t get it. i don’t think it’s necessary at this point to have a female adversary of that degree for june. i think she could easily be a complicated/conflicted ally, or at least not a direct enemy of june’s. the SYSTEM is evil enough and produces enough conflict on its own. june no longer needs the personification of it and neither do we. just… ugh. stagnating the MOST complex character on the show (fight me. serena as a character was more complex and dynamic than june.) for the sake of throwing her in some stupid sideplot that had nothing to do with the protagonist, and made her entire story arc stall into a dead stop was a dumbass fucking move. the whole fred thing dragged her the fuck down cos there was zero acknowledgement or exploration of the actual dynamic of the domestic abuse cycle which was PLAINLY visible in early s3. instead it was just NICHOLEEEEEE!!!!! GIVE ME BABBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MUST HAVE BABBY!!!!!!!!!! every single character motivation serena had in s3 was a fucking sexist trope about women and baby fever. (not that they wrote june much better but this rant is about the shit they pulled with serena.)

there is no depth to any conflict anymore. and what drives me even crazier is that the few scenes with june and serena are still 100 times more interesting because of the pre-existing chemistry and dynamic they still have. but instead we’ve just got the same fucking scene of june/lawrence over and over for 8 episodes. “ooh is he a friend or foe? oh i will manipulate him! he is an ally! oh maybe he’s a foe, or friend, or foe, or friend?! who cares!! look how he lubs childrens! uwu!!”

they seem absolutely intent on keeping serena a villain, to the point of total irrationality. and the only way to do that is strip her character of any nuance and give her a singular and stupid motivation and pair that with a really boring and flat subplot. cos, organically, the character WOULD develop and learn and change, but since they’re fucking obsessed with not giving her anything even resembling “redemption” for some bullshit reason, they’ve thrown her entire narrative arc under the bus and just left her there.

and people wonder why i have no interest in s4. it’s cos of this shit. why the fuck would i be interested in watching yet another season of serena doing fuck all? (ooh a trial? BORING and guaranteed to make no rational sense. back to gilead? what for?! they’re never going to let her change/grow anyway!)… and june being painted as some saint and saviour, despite being not that much better anymore. and Lawrence being lauded as a goddamn hero for doing the very fucking bare minimum for no real discernible reason we’ve seen other than june’s oh so amazing ~wiles. like please.

i can’t stand june anymore. i fucking loathe lawrence (to me, he’s just nick 2.0). i don’t care about fred. moira and emily who? and am butthurt about what they’ve done to serena’s character journey (and can’t see that changing if miller, moss, & co. are so itnent on keeping her “evil”). so s4 doesn’t seem that fun to me.

and the fact everyone seems to have a hard on for whitford, including cast and crew just makes me angry. sure, give this dude all the good shit. take it away from the amazing female actors and just give it to him. why not? THT is male-run anyway and IT SHOWS. he should have been a minor character, not the focus next to june. (don’t even get me started on how fiennes gets second billing in the credits before yvonne cos i am so livid every single time i see taht.)

whatever, THT. whatever. bye. ugh.

wow anyway that was a rant i didn’t expect to make. thanks anon for drawing that out. i think i’ve been sitting on it a while lol.

i have a lot of rage.

#the misogyny is wild #it's like fandom just replaced their desperation to woobiefy nick with lawrence instead #super that's awesome i'm glad that's how this show thinks it should tell a story about women's oppression #just ignore half the women and make them evil!!!#give none of them except the ''crazy'' one any sympathetic storyline #yeah cool #how feminist #Anonymous

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chilliebean5 · 6 years ago

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Fictober Day 22: “I know how you love to play games.”

Rating: Teen and up

Fandom: Overwatch

Characters: Hana Song, Torbjörn Lindholm, Brigitte Lindholm

Warnings: MekaMechanic

Notes: Part two of “This is gonna be so much fun.”

Words: 1458

Hana sits inside her mech, focus shifting between the tablet which has a list of commands and the console, trying to figure out why it won’t activate. She tries a new command, which the mech seemingly accepts with no issues, which is promising than the fifty at least she’s tried already which were rejected.

“Okay, this’ll work, I know it will,” she murmurs, initiating the starting sequence, but instead of the mech booting up, sparks explode from the console and the tablet switches off. “Come on, girl, I need you to work with me,” she says, hanging her head low. She closes her eyes, lets the wave of frustration and anger come and go. Working on the mech when she’s got a hot head won’t do her any favours, but when it passes, all that’s left is bitter disappointment.

She’s been working on her mech for who-knows-how-long, and the mech must have been more damaged than she previously thought; she’s never had this much trouble with the operating system before. When she feels the prickle of tears behind her eyes, she takes a breath and holds it, tears are possibly worse than the anger and frustration, and she’s not about to let this defeat her.

She’s stronger than that.

“Don’t tell me you’ve been here all night?”

Hana opens her eyes, sees Torbjörn standing in front of the mech, arms folded, scowling like usual. “All night? What time is it?”

“Six thirty-two.”

“Then yep,” she murmurs, turning her attention to the tablet and rebooting it as she disconnects it from the mech. It’s no wonder she was on the verge of tears, she’s been in the mech for eight hours straight. “All night.”

“I left you here, in your mech, at eleven last night, and you said you would be ten minutes.”

“I know,” Hana says, frustration creeping up again as she climbs out of the mech, stretching her aching back muscles the second her feet are on the floor. “I thought it would take ten minutes.” She walks around, placing the tablet on the workbench, glancing at Torbjörn when he won’t take his eyes off her. “I’m not going to apologise for it.”

“And are you in a better place now than when you were at eleven?”

Hana opens her mouth to retort, but snaps her mouth shut instead. “No,” she says, looking away.

“Working when you are tired and hungry won’t do you any favours.”

“But—”

“Your diet of chips and soft drink is not sustainable, especially when you are working.”

“It’s worked for me in the past.”

“Back when you were a rising star, when you had to cook your own meals. You’re not that girl anymore.”

“No,” Hana says, defiant as she looks back at him. “I’m not that girl who saved my city time and time again. I’m an agent of Overwatch, protecting the world.”

“That’s right. And you can’t sit down here, alone, working on your mech through the night on no sleep or food. What if we were called on an emergency mission right now?”

“I’d be useless because my mech is out of action.”

“You can function without your mech, can you not? I’ve seen you in the training range, your aim is impressive for someone who is only twenty.”

“I…” Hana takes a shuddering breath, realising what Torbjörn is saying. If they were called on an emergency mission right this second, she would be twenty-four hours without sleep, no food in her system, and she would be absolutely useless. She’s sure she could get some sleep and food no matter where they were headed, so it wouldn’t be worst case scenario, but she’s not about to argue that point. “It won’t happen again,” she says quietly.

“Oh, I’m sure it will,” Torbjörn chuckles, approaching his workbench. “But you have to realise what your limit is, know when you should call it quits. Take a break, at the very least.”

“Yeah,” Hana murmurs, taking a seat opposite Torbjörn and rubbing her eyes so hard she sees stars. “It’s always been a problem. I had friends who would say the same thing.” She thinks about Dae-hyun, wonders what he’s been up to and makes a mental note to message him when she’s slept and had something to eat. “They’d pester me, all the time, telling me I should take breaks, not work through the night.” She huffs a laugh. “Knowing when to ask for help.” She looks at Torbjörn and smiles. “Don’t suppose you know anyone who can help with the operating system issues?”

“Brigitte would be your best bet,” he says, tinkering with something that looks like a mechanical spider. “She has an interest in operating systems behind mechanics.”

“I didn’t even think of Brigitte,” Hana says, unable to hide her widening smile. “I’ll have to ask her.”

“She’s been dying to get a look at your mech, I’m surprised you haven’t shown her yet.”

“She didn’t ask.”

“Now that is a surprise.” Torbjörn looks up at her, practically scowling again. “I know how you love to play games.”

Hana frowns. “Games? Like Starcraft? What’s that got to do with this?”

“Not video games. Games. Preying on the sleeping.” Torbjörn smirks. “This ringing any bells?”

Hana feels a stab of anxiety in her chest when she realises exactly what he is talking about. “You were awake!”

“Of course I was! Not only were you talking loud, but those things also itched against my skin.”

“Brigitte said she’d be able to tell when you were awake!”

“I’ve been pretend sleeping since she was little. Kids love waking up their parents, after all.” He chuckles. “I must be good if she couldn’t tell.”

“So you heard… everything.” Hana looks at him, trying to hide her anxiety.

“Everything. Saw her take your hand, too, when you thought I was going to wake. Saw the look on your face when you took that picture of her.”

Hana’s world crashes in a little at that. “I…”

“She likes you,” Torbjörn says quietly. “And I know you like her.”

Hana groans when she realises that she’s about to get ‘the talk’. “Am I that obvious?”

“You went from almost asleep to wide awake at the mention of her name.” Torbjörn looks at her with surprisingly soft features. “If I am being honest, you two are perfect for each other. You work well together, you play well together. She has been holding back on saying something, ever since you said you weren’t looking for a relationship.”

“Oh! No… I meant that in terms of something with Lúcio. He’s… we’re… he’s not interested in me—” She stops, huffs, realising she is rambling, before burying her face in her hands. “I’m such an idiot.”

“You’re not.”

“I made her feel bad.”

“You didn’t.”

“You’re not helping.”

“I’m not?”

Hana gives him a moment, and when he doesn’t continue, she looks up at him.

“It’s been two weeks since that night. All that’s happened since then is the pining, yes?” He pauses, and when Hana realises he actually wants an answer, she nods. “So you can sit here, pine a little longer, or you can do something about it.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” Torbjörn says, like it was the world’s stupidest question to ask. “She’s in the mess hall, tell her how you feel.”

Hana can’t help but smile. “Thank you.”

“Not a problem,” Torbjörn replies. “You’re a good girl. Someone I would be proud to date my Brigitte.”

“Stop,” Hana says, standing up.

“Wouldn’t mind you as a daughter-in-law either.”

“Stop!” Hana practically races out of the workshop, stopping in the threshold of the door before turning around. “Thank you, Torbjörn.”

“You’re welcome. Tell her how you feel, have something to eat and get some sleep. You’re not allowed back in here until you have done those things.”

“Yes, dad.” Hana runs now, before Torbjörn can say anything else embarrassing, not that it’s likely given she can hear his booming laughter down the corridor. She heads straight for the mess hall, bursts through the doors and is incredibly thankful that Brigitte is the only one in the room.

“Hana,” Brigitte says with a smile, turning into concern when Hana approaches her. “Is everything—” whatever Brigitte was going to say dies in her throat, why would Hana tell her how she feels when she can show her, by sitting next to her, cupping her face and kissing her.

“Wow,” Brigitte says when Hana pulls away, grinning. “Good morning to you, too.”

Hana can’t help but giggle, hiding her face, and only looking back at her when Brigitte cups her cheek. “Good morning,” she says.

“What brought this on?”

Hana can’t help but grin. “Well, I had an interesting talk with your dad…”

#Fictober18 #Day 22: “I know how you love to play games.”#Hana Song #D.Va #Torbjorn Lindholm #Brigitte Lindholm #Overwatch #Post-Recall #mekamechanic #mekanic #honestly i didn't even plan for mekamechanic in this #it just happened #and this chapter was originally an Angela chapter #but someone on AO3 asked if Torb was awake after their little prank and *yes he was awake and knows everything because he is The Best Dad #and it fit this prompt so well #I love supportive Torb ahhhhh #chilliebean writes #my fic

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