#But I dont know it and learn when I say it and people get mad please Im fighting for my life
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who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it
#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it#idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character#someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it#and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly#its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked#because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately#like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means#it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by#a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time#i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid#so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or#smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them#become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words#but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened#especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that#need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta#once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it#circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it#actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt#i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me#that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly#mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them#have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP#IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL#yapping
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The pattern is that people straight up do not read™. or they read a 3-5 tweet summary of what happened and treat it as if they did. or because shonen expectations based on "the classics" is bullshit and significantly rotted people's brains when deciding wether an ending is good or not.
Which could be nothing right
yeahhh. i will forever regret reading the last chapter through leaks because it was a dreadful experience, and watching everyone ever shit on it for like a week after genuinely made me want to just get off the internet forever or something because i felt like an idiot for liking the ending (all this is my fault for getting too invested in both tumblr and mha etc etc).
All the "it's rushed" and pacing complaints barely matter to me at this point because you just cannot feel the pacing of something correctly when you're reading it exclusively through leaks. you can't absorb info like that. And don't get me started on the number of complaints and criticisms I've seen of the last chapter that are just provably bullshit (I saw someone say Izuku didn't get a statue lmao. yes he did, you just read the fucking leaks and watched twitter drama unfold instead of reading the actual chapter i fear).
#i just. do not think it is as bad as some people want to make it seem. i know not to take people who make cashier peaked in high school deku#jokes but like some of yall are treating this as if it's a major failure of the manga ? ? ?#it's underwhelming if you want#it didn't touch on stuff you wanted it to touch on whatever#i personally think that it did okay with the constraints it clearly had#like even without going into shonen jump conspiracy theories horikoshi had been doing 15 pages chapters for a while now#I also think that a lot of disappointment comes from fanon interpretations becoming canon in people's minds especially regarding izuku#and like do not get me wrong i had mixed feelings when i read the chapters i still have mixed feelings on some aspects (hawks what r you#doing etc etc)#i dont blame people who didn't like the ending for not liking the ending#i am just very annoyed by some justifications for not liking the ending#i don't even bother arguing with anyone at this point bc i don't want to be that person (too often) and because it just straight up makes m#feel bad lmao#anywayssssss i probably wanted to say something else but i forgor#oh no yeah listen. maybe you think it's lazy and maybe it is lazy to do an 8 years timeskip and leave a lot of stuff up to the reader#i personally really like this choice. important points were addressed and the rest can be speculated upon by the fanbase and by god.#we are the mha fandom guys. we can speculate. we love to speculate. we have EIGHT YEARS#you can do literally whatever you want man#i already have my personal canon for what happened during the eight years and believe me it helps a lot with the mixed feelings lmao#again. horikoshi did Not have a lot of space the story clearly had a lot of plot changes halfway through. i really do think this is more#than okay. this ending is not the end of the world i promise.#anyways i originally started like citing bs criticism i saw and then i thought ok lets not. inside thoughts etc etc.#i am not a meta analyzer i regularly learn i've misunderstood something about something or misremembered a plot point i am Not the person#for actually good meta and a lot of very insightful stuff on how we are very much not the target audience and lack cultural context go see#pikahlua lmao#mha manga spoilers#mha 430#mad mha ramblings//#ask//#i almost want to say ask to tag lmao? i have the mha cri/tical tag blocked so if anyone needs the opposite for me being overly positive
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grown man coworker keeps talking about how homework shouldnt exist and "they have me for 8 hours, and they didnt manage to teach me? they failed" which like. first off you told me you failed math three times cause you couldnt understand negatives. second off, in highschool you have 7 classes. and a lunch. and passing periods. teachers have less than an hour with you. if youre resistant to learning from them in the first place, an hour isnt going to do shit for you. i dont like homework as a concept either but you are not in school anymore and your arguement for it is flawed anyway
#he also said that he thought school was a waste of time. that he could have spent the 13 years in base school learning something useful#sir you learned how to read and do math and history in school. you were not born with these skills.#this has turned into ranting about what this guy says he said that he didnt know what a younger customer got out of being a fan of the show#friends. cause it was made in a time before smartphones and some of the jokes had to go over her head and it was a different world#buddy. buddy. grabbing your shoulders. you can enjoy something without gettting all the jokes you can enjoy something that doesnt personall#relate to you you can enjoy something and Learn About The Things As You Watch#also seperately he dissed on the movie frozen cause he said that let it go had a horrible message telling kids to abandon their family or#whatever it was. he did Not watch the movie (clear from Just His Arguement).#hes generally nice but i never know how to talk to him#i dont talk to people to argue or talk about how stupid or dumb something is as the main topic.#i wasnt in speech and debate i dont have a deep knowlegde of these. dumb topics. i dont have an opinion and i cant contribute and dont want#to debate anyway! when i dont know what to say i dont say anything and that just makes it awkward#ugh. anyway. rant over i have to work with him again today i cant get mad at this before im even interacting with him
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fellas talking in a language that Im not native to is so fucking scary everything I say feels like it could be a secret pipebomb.
#Like I need people to understand that when i come talk here it feels like Im in a battlefield#And really anywhere else thats english-centric#Like I JUST learned not that long ago that Tho is not actually how that word is written DO YOU SEE MY PROBLEM#Oough the scariest one is when there are several words that are synonyms of each other but one has a more negative connotation#But I dont know it and learn when I say it and people get mad please Im fighting for my life#please just shoot me out back its more merciful for my latina ass#Words like that also usually set the tone for the conversation too and if I dont get that right I am In Danger#What if I word something in a way that accidentally hurts someone too and I didnt even Know oh god I would rather die#Do you understand what its like to have a group of people mad at you that dont speak the same language you do#Like do you Understand understand#Thats not even getting into the weird xenophobic shit Ive experienced
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??!!??!!!
#i go to stores and stock maggi for myself and everyone takes advantage of my easy to lend nature#and then i dont have anything left for me#and i lied to this girl about not having any but i don't even know when she saw the newly bought packets#and had the audacity to say you don't wanna give me like yeah bitch you eat maggi like 10 times a week if you love it so much just stock it#anx now she know i won't give her so she asked her roommate to ask me and i got tricked i fuckinh hate her#im never borrowing maggi again to anyone except 3 of the people here#you think its a petty topic to get so mad on no girl im gonna revolt#ive had enough#winnie s gonna learn to say no and have that character development
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i wish financial abuse and forced dependence weren't like. only seen as bad when a spouse does it??? lol.
#“just be more independent” trust me bro im trying#i raised by a mother who is still forcing me to be dependent on her#like.. dependence is a learned trait? and im trying to teach myself but its kidna hard when she combats it at every turn while yelling at me#abt how useless and codependent i am#it seems like whenever i talk about my situation people brush me off and say i have it good just becuz. she stopped hitting me young.#as if years of neglect to my well being and forced dependence and financial control havent fucked me up a bit lol??#like. no. i dont think my situation is normal or ok or healthy or good or pleasant. actually i hate it.#i dont know how tobdo fucking anything and when i try to ask for help learning people get mad at me for not fucking knowing and being scared#to try. as if i havent been kicked down by my mom every time ive tried to do things on my own.#idk ill shut up abt this now its just rlly upsetting that ppl like. dismiss what im going thru????
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the way some of you guys talk about ai is um. kind of concerning? like you know image generation and chatgpt arent the only kinds of ais in the world right.
#i feel like im swinging at a wasps nest with this one but#the way some of you guys declare your passionate hatred for any and all ai. its um. worrying to me?#like yes there is a lot of ethical problems. with the two kinds of ai people seem to fuckin know about#There Are So Many Other Kinds Of Ai (Which Have Their Own DIFFERENT Ethical Problems)#like agi (artificial general intelligence)#agi is like what everyone used to think about when they talked about ai. the kind thats supposed to become like. ''sentient''#ok well not sentient but. thats supposed to be able to learn how a human can#i dont know. is this a weird thing for me to feel iffy about.#is it too early for me to be worrying were gonna invent a whole new kind of bigotry#im pretty sure we're eventually gonna make an ai thats indistinguishable from humans in like. a Living way#not a The Kinds Of Things It Makes Look So Normal way#why do i think this? bc i am an optimist and have wanted this to happen since i was an itty bitty baby. and if we dont ill be sad#people saying ai should be like. outlawed bc of what corporations are doing is so wild to me.#like imagine every day you go to school you and your friends get beaten up with baseball bats#and you decide baseball must be banned from the school bc of how many people the bats harm daily#instead of thinking for a moment and realizing. maybe the fucking jocks who r hitting you need to be expelled instead of the sport#that the bats came from.#does that metaphor make sense.#or am i making up a guy to get mad at#i dont know.#i might delete this later
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i havent seen any episodes since 2x3 but i think its SO interesting that the fandom will continuously say ben has no power and that no one cares hes an adult but the moment he doesnt step in to help deliver a baby its suddenly "hes annoying" and "you said yourself youre the adult step it up"
#yj spoilers#also like. as far as im aware he has continued to spiral and hallucinate constantly#and also like. i feel like trying to deliver a baby may be Difficult considering his leg situation bc like. idk how they were set up#but i dont think he can like. sit on the floor and he sure as hell cant kneel since one leg doesnt have a knee anymore#like im sure he probably could've helped somehow but i think. i dont think its fair to constantly emphasize his powerlessness#and then get mad when hes. not using what power he does have#'he taught the health class!!' 'he never learned more than pressing play on the video???'#i cant imagine the gay man would be actively preparing himself to know how to deliver a baby also i dont think that childbirth is like#taught in schools but i could be wrong#saw someone say he should know what to do because 'at his grown age one of his friends would've given birth' but like. its not like#its not like he would BE there for that#me getting defensive of ben without seeing the episode or knowing the context akshwls#its very possible that i will watch the episode eventually and they will be right its true#but i just.#ALSO i see so many people complain that bens even still alive and there bc hes a boy but then they complain when their main characters#are stepping up and doing things while he stays out of it#i think. its also quite possible i dont actually care that much ab this and the person talking just had an attitude and it annoyed me more#everyone in the replies was calling ben annoying and im >:(#ive also just been not in the best mood so i think im just channeling my feelings into this thing that doesnt matter akshskskd#negative cw
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honestly people will say that like 'if something can be ruined by spoilers then it wasn't good' argument and its so like. i do agree with that to an extent! like for the more intended extent of like. mcu movies that basically only exist on Big Twist! Cameo!!! but like. sometimes what's 'ruining' something is less about 'the media is now bad because there is no other reason to watch but the plot twist/thing that was spoiled' and more of a like. the experience of watching or reading something is just as much a part of the art as the thing as it stands on its own u know?
#like. when something is so unsettling and shocking but its INTENDED to make you feel that way. thats PART OF IT#like sometimes i get mad at tv shows because theyre stupid but sometimes i get mad because i'm SUPPOSED TO#like its intended for me to get mad about [thing that happened in show] because it means im invested and anger was a response that was#intentionally being provoked in the audience#like happy for u guys that enjoy spoilers all the best to u but i prefer generally not to know#just like. i saw someone say they 'need spoilers because i dont wanna get invested if i dont know whats gonna happen' and i just#i find that a shame? that people refuse to just sit in the space and engage#like. side tangent slightly but when ppl are like 'the first episode of xyz is confusing!!!' and its like. well yeah. its the FIRST EPISODE#of course you dont know eveyrthing yet. learn to sit with that and be able to just go with it.
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i think what throws people off about kh is that its already confusing in general in that things get mentioned and then not explained until games later but then when something DOES get explained people just leave it at that. like a lot of people dont really think beyond what is and isnt told to you in game. for example how only pureblood heartless actually contain bearts bc theyre actually people who fell to darkness and emblem heartless dont have hearts bc theyre artificially made like they dont say that anywhere other than in days i think but if you stop and think about it its something you can figure out in the earlier games. you just have to actually think beyond the information they give you and people generally dont do that i think
#like does that make sense#like in a lote heavy series like kh its really easy to just not try and guess or figure out things from just playing it#bc eventually it does get revealed you know and idk about anyone else but#i personally dont put a lot of thought into what im learning jntil after im done with a game#i lost my train of thought uhh#like i see people go this was never explained in game >:( and its like yeah maybe not EXPLICITLY#but if you stop to think and rub two brain cells together#youll discover thag this thing that was supposedly never explained actually CAN be explained if you just. THINK#use what they already told you and apply that to everything else you know#in kh they can explain one thing and that explanation can also be used to explain other things#they just dont mention those other things bc its not relevant to the plot/conversation of the time#idk im just mad when someone says kh doesnt explain some things like actually it does you just gotta use youre brain for a little bit#michi tag
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im nothing but a failure i cant do anything right
#i cant even accept a NICE THING from my dad bcs my room is disgusting and i know he cares n hates it even if he says he doesnt#and i know hes upset at me for it and now he thinks im mad at him for not doing it when im NOT im just#so uoset at myself i cant stufy i cant learn properly im gonna fail my fucking exam tmr#im nothing but a waste of resources n they kept makinh comments earlier bcs of what we were watching#about me getting a fancy job n making them money n just#ill never do that ill never be able to ill never be worth anything#i dont want to kms not really but i want to be dead i want to be killed im nothing but a useless waste#ill never be anything in life so what does it matter if i live#people woudl get over me if i died im just useless n ruin things and god.they try to hlep they try to be so good and its just#it never works im still a failure i dont deserve any of this i deserve to be dead so ppl will stop wasting things onme#personal#vent
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by tradition, the first day of the camp was spent pranking the group next to us. our prank was ziptying the zippers on their sleeping bags together. we figured one of them would sleep with a knife, because we all slept with knives, because we were dangerous maniacs and half the danger of a dangerous maniac is that they tend to think that they are Actually Normal. so. obviously that didn't pan out, and instead they got stuck in their sleeping bags for like half an hour and because their scoutmaster slept in their car and couldn't hear them yelling, they actually only got out when one of them went full caged animal and chewed through the plastic. which meant they had time to make it to the axe throwing station, but they did miss breakfast.
the scale of our victory was impossible to understate. it was an epic prank. unrivaled. the best in years. we knew they were going to retaliate, and we both feared and craved it. maybe i'm still a maniac, but that feels like a common thing, right? do well adjusted people that are not maniacs crave Judgement?
(serious answers only please, from people who would never spoon a knife.)
anyway, the next day we got back to our camp, and the neighors had skipped dinner to just come back and fill all our tents with pinecones. which was like, a decent prank, i guess, but it probably took them an hour to fill all the tents up, and it took us like 15 minutes to tip the tents out, and as a return volley to the ziptie prank it was incredibly underwhelming. we felt a little cheated.
so our scouting group held a council, and we agreed, unanimously, that our prank was 100% better and theirs sucked and that there would be no escalating tensions because we were the clear victors. they'd had their chance to retaliate, and they failed, and so the war was over. that was it.
we agreed on this. we swore. but madness is a relative thing, and in our group of maniacs, we still had J. i have many, many J stories. too many. i biked up to school with him from 4th grade to 8th, and i saw him get hit by cars thrice. he'd just swerve into the road sometimes. one time on a rainy day in 4th grade, a car splashed me, and before i could even consider my response J yelled I GOT THIS and then he blitzed off after the car. i didn't see him the rest of the day. i was so anxious i barely slept that night. i saw him the next morning and he told me that he'd chased the car until it got to a gated community and then he'd climbed over the fence and looked in peoples garages until he found the one with the car, and then he'd ripped the hood ornament off and broke their window. then he gave me a hood ornament to a different brand of car from the one that splashed me and i didnt tell him because i didnt want him missing more school. i want you to mentally adjust your mental model of the things a 9 year old is capable of doing to include chasing a car for five miles, hopping a fence, breaking into a garage, and vandalizing a randos car.
and that's just the tip of my J stories iceberg.
the point of all this is just to say that J was so crazy that he made us knife spooners look like accountanting enthusiasts.
so we agreed the war was done, and we shook on it, and then J, in the name of friendship, in the name of honor, in the name of avenging our pinecone filled tents, snuck over to their camp that evening and fornicated with a watermelon that they'd been saving in their cooler.
i want to emphasize, again, that this was not the consensus of the group. that is not a prank. like i know it seems like we dont know what pranks are because of the whole ziptie thing, but even we knew that fucking someones food is not a prank, it is a crime, and a sin, the kind of weapon that had only been ethically used once in history by Horus in his battle against Set and none of us dumb assholes had owl heads.
so.
the next day went pretty well. we threw some more axes again, which is a valuable and important skill for children to learn i guess, and we learned how to tie knots, which is a skill that turned out to be far sexier than i ever expected, and i learned how to light fires with a magnifying glass, which was great. i'm looking back at this, and i am actually just now beginning to realize that the clear and obvious point of scouting is turning child sociopaths into apex predators.
and then the day ended, and we went back to our camps, except for our leaders, who had a sort of Scout Leader Meeting they were going to have for a few hours at least. it was built into the camp, that day was supposed to be our day to chill as a group, and make peach cobbler, and just be buddies.
except, as it turned out, our neighboring group's alternative to making peach cobbler was eating their watermelon. so at some point they opened their watermelon, and woo boy. oh man. you think catholics hated seedless watermelons? you should see how much mormons hate seeded ones.
so we were chilling by the fire, and then we heard screaming from the camp over, but we didn't pay much mind to that because there are many reasonable explanations for a group of 10ish children to scream simulanteoulsy, such as wasps, which are abundant in arizona, and then the screaming got closer, which did not bother us because there were many reasons for a group 10ish children to scream and run towards us, for example, wasps, which are abundant in arizona, and then we noticed they had large sticks on them, which we figured were perhaps being used to drive away the wasps, which are abundant in arizona, and then they arrived and they started beating the shit out of us, abundantly, in arizona.
so we ran into the woods.
now, at this point, we had no idea what was up. we knew that the camp next to us was out for blood, which was crazy, because we'd actually locked them in fartproof bags for 30 minutes and they'd barely done anything back, and were trying to figure out what could possibly have happened that could drive them to Terrible Violence when we realized that J was cackling like a witch that had learned how to order children off of ebay.
so we politely asked J what the hell he had done, and he politely explained that had "done" their watermelon, and we politely beat him with large sticks because life is nothing but endless cycles of violence.
we were still being chased by the other camp btw. so it was them, chasing us, chasing J, and then they got tired and went back to their camp, and we chased J a little longer because we were mad we'd all been walloped with sticks, and J did not care because he was a supernatural entity whose only weaknesses were Needles and Fire, and then we got tired and went back and J kept running, and we just kind of figured he would come back eventually.
he did not.
we went back to our tents, and we waited, and J did not come back. we stayed up all night, peering into the forest, worrying. our leader came back, and we did our best to hide our battlewounds, and he either genuinely did not notice or simply accepted this as part of Boyhood. then he went to bed, and we waited, and waited, and waited. And Waited. and did not sleep.
eventually, we convened again, and we agreed that if J was not back by after breakfast, we would have to tell the scoutleader about what exactly had transpired. and we really did not want to do that, because it would have meant that everyone would have gotten in a very large amount of trouble.
morning came around, and J still was not back. we went to breakfast, and we ate very, very slowly. we were afraid the other camp was going to continue their war with us, but they actually looked fairly frightened. one of them actually came to us and asked for a truce, and we agreed because we truly felt bad for them. like, yes, they did beat us with sticks, but J fucked their watermelon. we werent complicit in the watermelonfuckening but they didnt know that, and it was definitely the kind of crime that left one outside the bounds of the social contract.
and then when we could eat no more bits, when breakfast was almost done, right when i was getting pushed to go and tell the scoutleader that we needed to find J, he arrived. he was sleep deprived, and noticeably scraped and bloody, and tied to his belt was a blood squirrel tail.
and i asked him, J, where did you get that? and he said, don't worry man, it was already dead, which did not answer by question and gave me several more.
the camp ended that day, and the other groups avoided us like the plague, and it was not until some weeks later that we were able to piece together what happened.
J, in his sojourn through the forest, managed to find (or, possibly, make) a dead squirrel. he then cut off the tail to keep on his belt, because he was a weird little freak like that. he also took the dead squirrel, and he skinned it, then he tied it to a little crucifix made of wood, and he left it in the other scouting group's camp. which is why they were so scared of us.
it was such an unhinged thing to do it actually sobered us up for a while. scouting became a scary thing for us. we'd found something dark and primal there, in the place where no adult could see, and our appreciation of J as a wild ride kind of changed into seeing him as something truly dangerous. we had a sense wherever he went, something terrible would follow, and the only way to escape it was to not be there when it arrived. and so piece by piece, the scout group dissolved. it wasnt until he moved out of that ward that the rest of us started daring to go back to scouts.
and for the final epilogue of the tale:
i have a little brother who was friends with a younger cousin of J's, and the two would go to parties together in highschool. and sometimes J, who was in his early 20's at that point, would show up at the parties, and it was unsettling in such a way that it just became a known risk at parties with the cousin. and at one party, they were playing truth or dare, and J wasn't even in the room, but someone asked him the Truth of how he always knew how to find the cousin, and J said the cousin's mom had mentioned she was worried about him and the parties so he'd put a tracker in his car. and when he saw that the cousin was out of the house on weekends, he'd made a visit by, just to make sure he was safe.
then he left. and every single person at that party went over that poor kid's car. they searched the wheel-wells, checked underneath it, the works, until they found the tracker. then because they were clever, they didnt break it, or throw it away, or anything that would've given away what they'd done. they just gave the tracker to the cousin, who put it in his glovebox. and on schooldays, he'd take it with him, so J could see him in the parking lot. and on weekends, he could leave it in the garage, so he could go to parties with out Hell coming with him. because everyone that met J - every single person - knew that the only way to be safe from him was to be far, far away.
#this is a funny story i promise#but it's also a really fucked up story#about a very fucked up person#scouting#babylon-lore#writing#anecdotes#tw: stalking#tw: blood#tw: bullying#tw: dead animal#tw: violence
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ah lads not again
#got outed without my permission to people it is necessary for me to live in proximity with by my overly supportive mother. a third time 👍#i should really stopbeing upset about it i dont know what it is she like cannot help herself#three people i work with INCLUDING ONE OF MY BOSSES during one of the most violent reactionary periods imaginable#i thought her going on about how she doesnt tell people my sister has a girlfriend because its 'not her story to tell'#was a sign that she had learned from how she treated me and it hurt to have that support built on throwing me into the fire#but bearable but no she did it again.#and then when i was upset with her about it and told her so she spent the entire time i was at work miserable#and still crying when she picked me up and going 'just when i thought i got it right with you i fucked it up again'#which. i KNEW she was going to do. i knew she would be hurt. i knew she would feel guilty. and i knew she would say so#and i knew more than anything that then the onus would be on me to comfort her for potentially putting me in danger#or even literally just spreading my business to other people because she won't talk to them about herself#and needs to tell them about ME#i cannot tell her im trans i literally cannot ever come out to her because it will put me in harms way#i wish id never even told her im gay but i never had a moment of realizing that it was always just kind of what i was#ive never ever ever had a fucking choice in the matter and its pointless to be mad. but im mad#the aforementioned boss approached me about it at work to get overfamiliar (supportively i guess)#and it felt like a kick in the stomach!! i cant believe she did it again i really cant
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Oscar piastri x reader smau, but she’s completely anonymous and people are trying to find her after Oscar revealed he was married to someone?
nobody ever asked me | oscar piastri
pairing: oscar piastri x reader
summary: oscar piastri shocks the world by letting it be known that he is married, and has been for the past two years
liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1, logansargent, and 1,017,827 others!
oscarpiastri: vacation with the wifey! 🧡
view comments below!
user1: oh that’s not
user2: excuse me the what?
user3: this is interesting!
landonorris: wait what
oscarpiastri; what?
landonorris: wait what are you being serious?
oscarpiastri: about what?
landonorris: oh i don’t know maybe you having a WIFE???
oscarpiastri; yes i do have a wife!
landonorris: WHAT THE FUCK
user4: oh so oscar not joking?...
user5: feeling like lando rn because what the fuck???
user6; this just ruined my day
maxverstappen1: i knew you were lying about SOMETHING
oscarpiastri: ive never lied to anyone, nobody ever asked me if i had a wife
maxverstappen1; that’s….fair
user7: THATS NOT FAIR??? OSCAR WTF?? YOU CANT JUST SPRING THIS ON PEOPLE???
charles_leclerc: nice pictures oscar!!!!
charles_lelcerc: wait a minute...
charles_leclerc: wife????
charles_leclerc: what?? what? what??
charles_leclerc: i am so bamboozled right now!
charles_leclerc: am i walking the prank? i feel like i am walking the prank
oscarpiastri: no you aren't walking the prank? whatever that means? ive been married for a little over two years now!
user8: TWO YEASR??? LIKE 730 DAYS??????
user9: no you guys actually dont understand, this is driving me crazy?
user10: this is SUCH an oscar thing to do tho.. like randomly announcing thats hes been married for 2 years??
user11: he took oscar core to a whole new level
user12: my heart just broke
user13: you should've announced that you had a gf first, my heart cant take this
danielricciardo: i'm a little late, don't know whats going on..so? congratulations? my condolences?
oscarpiastri: thank you daniel!!
liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, and 691,616 others!
oscarpiastri: some more pictures of the wife since you all seem so curious! here’s my wife, yn, and her book store 🧡
view comments below!
user14: YN!!!! WE GOT HER NAME
user15: HALLELUJAH
user15: yn is a beautiful name
user16: HER bookstore?? she owns a bookstore??
user17: the way she probably has so much lore and we will never learn about it is so??
user18: we're only going to learn about when oscar randomly decides to drop some info: key example: THIS POST 😭
maxverstappen1: I KNEW HER NAME FIRST!!!
oscarpiastri: only because she's your biggest fan and she begged to meet you
maxverstappen1: stay mad
oscarpiastri: she's married to me??
maxverstappen1: and yet she's MY biggest fan
user19: DAMN MAX
user20: oscar was SILENCED
user21: i need to know when he them, how they got together, and what theyre wedding was like
user22: it kills me to know we will never get this information
user22: its actually so crazy how oscar said yn has been to all of the races so far?? like how didnt we notice her 😭
user23: what if shes been in front of us the whole time and we just mistook her for like a mclaren team member or something
user24: well now I have to go look at every single oscar picture out there and try to find something
user25: or you could, idk? respect that she doesnt want to show her face online?
user26: but thats no fun
charles_leclerc: it was great meeting her!! ❤️
user27: they met her? 💔💔💔
oscarpiastri: she says thanks for the lec ice cream!
user27: he gave her lec icecream?? 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
user28: ive only known about yns existence for a month and a half, but if anything happened to her, i would kill everyone on earth and then myself.
liked by oscarpiastri
. . .
note: thanks for requesting!! hope you enjoyed(*≧▽≦)
#oscar piastri social media au#oscar piastri smau#oscar piastri x y/n#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri f1#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri x reader#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 x y/n#f1 x female reader#f1 x you#f1 social media au#f1#f1 fluff#formula one smau#formula one x y/n#formula one x reader#formula one x you
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I loved both of ur scarletella hcs 💕 would it be possible to get more with mr crawling?
MR. CRAWLING HC {N/SFW}
a Mr. Crawling x reader list of sfw and nsfw hc. {an : ahh ty! ofc! i love him hes so puppy coded}
warnings!: smut, nsfw, soft sex, switch!reader, cunnilingus, blowjob, public {?}, slight marking, afab and amab genitalia described.
SFW HC
a list of sfw hc on what it would be like to date Mr. Crawling
for starters, Mr. Crawling has got to be the perfect lover out of all of the boys.
hes sweet, caring, and just a touch of yandere. {no where near as much as Mr. Scarletella...}
in a relationship with him, it would be like normal just x10.
he is a very touchy lover. when he is crawling he likes to be as close to you as possible. he says its for your safety but you know its more than that.
at night when you are sleeping, he stays near you constantly. he doesn't need to sleep, but if you let him, he will hold you while you sleep in his arms.
he goes out of his way to find gifts and food for you, even engaging with the others to GET it.
if you choose to take him home, {why wouldnt you...} then he will become almost like a housewife.
hes a fast learner so he can easily figure out how to clean, MAYBE cook, and really anything else. hes such a good boy!
speaking of a good boy.. he LOVES praise. he will do anything he can do just to hear you praise him. it really sets off his endorphins when he hears those sweet sounds of love come out of your mouth.
though he doesn't understand how it works, he likes kisses! he loves pressing his lips to yours or you giving him face kisses, like forehead or cheeks.
his hair is a big thing, he wants you to play with it or experiment with it. if you put his hair in styles, like braids or buns, he will be so happy !!
as for baths, he needs your help to teach him. in the underworld, smell wasnt really prominent too much. and there wasnt really a way for him to stay clean. his skin is sensitive, but he likes when you help wash him. he does enjoy baths!
his biggest concern is his face. he is very insecure about it, so PLEASE constantly remind him and tell him that he isn't ugly.
he gets so giddy at any sort of touches, even accidental.
he has major jealousy issues and gets upset if you talk to other people, so make sure you give him regular attention. {he could never be mad at you hehe}
you could look like/wear ANYTHING and he would think you are the most beautiful thing alive.
NSFW HC
a list of nsfw hcs on your sex life with Mr. Crawling
you might have to teach him what sex even is honestly. being locked up in an abandoned apartment complex with no sexual activity will make it hard to even know what it is.
hes so cute during sex. guaranteed. at first he is surprised you even want to have sex with him, like he is genuinely shocked.
once he is out of his clothes he is already a whimpering mess. still semi worried you are joking.
when i tell you he doesnt last, i mean it. a few thrusts in and he is already cumming. dont worry, he has unlimited stamina, and can go for hours or as long as you want.
after a few times, he learns that he LOVES giving you head. whether afab or amab, he is all up in that.
very submissive during sex, but is still the one manhandling you.
as said earlier, call him a good boy and he could probably just orgasm from that. praise is definitely a huge turn on.
he is a very fast learner {as are all of them}, almost instantly finding those spots inside of you.
he has very long, slim fingers. take that as you will.
he likes having his hair pulled. wants you to grab ahold of it and use him.
anywhere, and anytime you need him, he will be there. he will even find a random corner and go to town on you if you wish.
absolutely would have bloody sex. any blood, doesnt matter.
ill write more another day on a separate fic, for now here is a small paragraph for him going down on you. {could be afab or amab depending on how you look at it}
how couldn't you? look at him. he's already on his knees anyways.. in a swift motion, you are up against a wall, with a leg on his shoulder. his skillful tongue is deep inside, hitting any spot it could reach. small praises have him whining below you, as you hurriedly peak over the side of the wall to make sure nobody is watching. your hands desperately tug at his hair as he continues ravaging your lower section, moans and pants spilling past your lips. "fuck.. please.." you whine, legs trembling as he hits a specific spot that has you seeing stars. your orgasm washes over you, and he happily pushes you through it. he pulls away and after a few minutes, you are able to pull back on your pants and hopefully continue. you gently pats his head as he uses his hand to wipe your juices off his grin eating face.
good boy.
{ made by @whokilledsamara }
#homicipher x reader#smut#homicipher#mr. crawling x you#mr. crawling#mr crawling x reader smut#mr. crawling x y/n
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realized today that my best friend and my 2 work friends apparently all think im prone to blowing up at ppl or something which is like...really insulting and kinda hurt ngl
#vark posts#dont rb#essentially one of my work friends went through a break up recently and asked my best friend if they should tell me#and my best friend thought itd be better if they told me instead of my work friend because i might get too mad#like what the fuck#i havent blown up at anybody in ages and i know how to communicate and control my emotions like a normal ass person#i had anger issues in fuckin middle school but thats it#it just feels like a big slap in the face when i put so much effort into getting over those anger issues#and have learned to effectively communicate#my work friends have never even seen me in conflict so im pretty sure theyre just assuming based off how i act and look#all 3 of them are pretty timid and huge people pleasers so ig me being fired up about something makes them uncomfortable#idk man it just sucks ass that they dont think i know how to handle delicate conversations and treat me like a fuckin bomb#sucks even more my friend is like encouraging this way of viewing me when they should know damn well im better then that#i did communicate to my work friend in that moment that my friend has a weird habit of talking abt me like ill explode at minor issues#my work friend was super apologetic but i told them they didnt do anything wrong#they did say theyd tell me themselves tho which made me feel a bit better#hopefully that fixes it somewhat
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