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ellecdc · 4 months ago

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The Hazards of Hiccoughs

poly!darksun x fem!reader who falls for one of James' pranks by accident

prompts: "anything with dark sun" & "reader gets caught in the crossfire of one of their pranks", scenario by @unstablereader

CW: Barty threatening murder (the usual), descriptions of asthma and asthma attack, reader panics because she can't breathe, hurt/comfort but mostly fluff and humour

One word to describe James Potter would be, without a doubt, brave.

If you asked his friends to find words to describe him, he may get the odd “clever”, “mischievous”, “troublesome”, “annoying git” etcetera; but at the end of the day, no one could deny that James Potter was, in fact, brave.

He was a Gryffindor, afterall.

He spent his spare time flying on an enchanted piece of bark as high as the tallest towers in Hogwarts (and oftentimes then some), and finding many new and creative ways to give his mother a few more grey hairs by performing tricks and stunts at said heights.

He spent an evening every month with the likes of a werewolf, and didn’t even quiver at the prospect of being sent to Azkaban when he became an unregistered animagus.

He’s battled racist gits on the school grounds, found himself facing grounds for detention, suspension, and expulsion all in the name of mischief, and he has made both enemies and the greatest of friendships with the likes of Slytherin’s.

In fact, one of James’ bravest ventures was getting the likes of one Barty Crouch Junior into his bed.

So, yeah….James Potter was brave.

So brave.

Except, maybe not right now.

Except maybe, right now, he was very much decidedly not brave and actually very much afraid.

What was James so afraid of, one might wonder?

Oh, well, you remember that very brave venture James made once upon a brave moment where he won over the affections of one such Barty Crouch Junior?

Yeah, that.

James was afraid of that.

Or, more specifically, James was very much afraid of what Barty was going to do when he found out what James had done (inadvertently!!!) to you.

You see, one of those things James was so well known for? You know? His mischief. Well, he’d had a brilliant pranking idea.

He and Sirius knew that Regulus bought caramel sugar quills every Hogsmeade trip for the Slytherin common room, as it was a crowd favourite.

During one of James and Sirius’ (many) recent detentions, they had the (quite brilliant, if you asked either of them) idea of using the same charm used in hiccough lollies sold at Zonko's on the sugar quills, thus sending the Slytherin gits (affectionate, since one of them was James’ adopted little brother and the other was his boyfriend, and, you know, all of their closest friends) into a hiccoughing fit!

It was hilarious, and James wasn’t ashamed to admit that he and Sirius laughed so hard at the vision of them hiccoughing their way through the castle that they were given another detention for their behaviour during detention.

And it had gone oh so smoothly.

James was often in the Slytherin common room either with or without you on account of both of your relationship with Barty, and was able to place them in their usual spot on a dark stained wooden cabinet beside the fireplace without rousing much suspicion.

It had gone perfectly.

So perfectly, that is, until his poor sweet angel came running to him choking and coughing and wheezing with tear tracks down your pretty face because you had fallen for his (now very obviously) stupid and idiodic prank.

James had been present for a few of your asthma attacks before, but none of them seemed quite as bad as this one. He always had one of your inhalers in his room for emergencies, and you had convinced yourself that the one you had on your person was either faulty or expired, but no sooner would the medication begin to soothe your air-thirsty lungs would you begin hiccoughing again and the cycle would continue.

It didn’t help that you were clearly panicked, and James didn’t think that was completely unreasonable seeing as you couldn’t breathe, so James had worked hard to remain as calm as he possibly could for the both of you.

He’d nicked one of Moony’s calming draught’s for you and brought you and your inhalers up to the top of the astronomy tower for some quiet and fresh air; rubbing circles along your back, taking deep, methodical breaths with you, helping you take another puff when the hiccoughing began to take over, and washed, rinsed, and repeated until the hiccoughing had finally subsided.

You were undoubtedly exhausted after the emotional ordeal, and James opted to bring you down to his dorm so you could sleep it off (and so that he could keep an eye on you).

He watched your form almost obsessively where you were curled up in his bed in one of his quidditch jumpers from his desk chair; watching your chest rise and fall evenly, without restriction as he fought to bring his own panic down.

“Merlin that could have been bad.” Sirius let out with a breath from his own bed, joining James in watching you breathe as if he too needed convincing that you still were.

“Don’t.” James bit out sharply. “Don’t even go there.”

“How’d she even get to them before anyone else did?” He continued, agreeing with James that wondering what might have happened if you hadn’t found James was too scary.

“Because we had the brilliant idea of going during Slytherin's quidditch practice.” James sneered, still never removing his gaze from your chest.

“What are you going to tell Junior?” He asked then, causing James’ stomach to lurch not at all pleasantly.

One of the things James loved so much about Barty was how much he loved. Barty loved everything with all the intensity of a fiendfyre explosion; he dedicated himself mind, body, and soul 110% to those he cherished.

And one thing Barty cherished perhaps most in the whole wide world was you.

“Do I have to tell him?” James groaned then, finally moving his gaze from you to the face of his thoroughly bemused best friend.

“Will she not tell him?”

James responded with a noncommittal sound as Peter walked in the door.

“Tell who what?” He asked as he let his book bag fall to the ground with a thud, earning him a hasty “shhhh” from James and “Tell Barty we almost killed his Treasure” from Sirius.

“Oh, well I just let him into the common room.” Peter offered simply as he laid back casually on his four poster bed.

“You what!?” James beseeched, earning him a hasty “sshhh” from Sirius.

“He said he was coming to find you. Stopped to ask Remus about a book they were talking about last week first.” Peter responded with a shrug.

“No! No. Nonononono.” James began chanting as he took off in a sprint towards the common room.

James nearly ricocheted off of Barty from how fast he’d been going down the stairs that both of them winced as they took the other in.

“Salazar, Jamie. I’m happy to see you too but you didn’t have to tackle me like some muggle American footballer.” He groaned as he massaged his ribs.

“Sorry! Sorry. Hi! Hi, bubs. How are you? How was practice!?” James rapid-fired with faux cheer.

So along with being brave, mischievous, and perhaps more than a little bit afraid of his boyfriend, James was also a terrible liar.

“What’s going on?” Barty asked suspiciously after scanning James’ face for only 0.7 seconds.

“Nothing! What? What do you mean!? Nothing, of course!”

“What did you do?” He deadpanned; his question poised more like a demand of honesty than it was an inquiry.

James forced out his most disbelieving scoff. “Wha- what do you mean? Nothing, of course! Why, why would I have done anything?”

“You’re literally always up to no good which is usually why I like you so much, but this-” Barty paused to wave a hand over James rather generally, “is freaking me out. Spill.”

“Okay, listen, she’s alright, but-”

“Where is she?” Barty demanded - any levity quickly seeping from his face and tone as he stood up straighter.

“I just said she was okay, Barty-”

“Which means she wasn’t okay at some point.”

“There….may have been an incident.” James offered slowly.

“For fucks sa- get out of my way.” Barty grumbled as he shoved his way past James and took the stairs two at a time to get to James’ dorm room.

“How’d he know she was up there?” James wondered aloud, surprised when Remus answered him.

“I told him the two of you were upstairs.” He said as he fell into step with James.

“You told him!?”

Remus rolled his eyes so hard James was actually certain that this would be the time they finally got stuck like that. “Of course I didn’t, you prat. Why would I waste the chance to watch the theatrics.”

James groaned as they rounded the corner to their shared dorm, emotionally (and physically) bracing himself for said theatrics, only to find Barty kneeling on the floor beside James’ bed as he brushed your hair away from your face.

“That must’ve been really scary.” Barty murmured quietly; a divot between his eyebrows as he scanned your face as if looking to see any lingering signs of distress.

“M’okay; Jamie took care of me.” You responded quietly; words stretched out by the exhaustion still clearly weighing you down.

Barty hummed noncommittally and continued scanning your face. “Do you still want me to kill him for you though? You know I will, yeah?” He offered, leaning down to press a lingering kiss to your (what James was sure was still overheated) face.

You chuckled and turned your face to him so he could press a kiss to your lips.

“No, I like him too much.” You offered softly as you nuzzled back into James’ pillow. “So do you.”

“Do not.” Barty argued petulantly, causing you to swing your arm out at him.

He caught it quickly and brought your knuckles to his lips. “Don’t exert yourself.”

“Don’t tell lies.” You countered.

Barty groaned dramatically and threw his head back. “Fine; I’m crazy about him. But I’d still kill him, you know?”

“You’re all bark.”

“He doesn’t need to know that.” Barty hissed back in faux chiding as he locked his now narrowed eyes onto James, and even though James had been privy to the conversation that just took place, he couldn’t help the nervous gulp he took.

“Seems like we might’ve gone scot-free for this one.” Sirius stage whispered at James, causing Barty’s somewhat dark glare at James to turn into something downright murderous when it moved to Sirius.

“You might want to run.” Remus stage whispered at Sirius who then took his own nervous gulp.

“It was nice knowing you, Moons.” Sirius offered solemnly with a head nod. “Pete, take care of our boy, yeah?”

Peter, for his part, offered Sirius nothing more than a thumbs up from his bed as he and James began backing slowly out of the dorm room.

“Barty - my love - I just want you to remember how much you love and care for me, yeah? And also that sweet angel over there, who would definitely not like to have me dead or for you to spend time in prison for murdering my best friend- NOW, PADS!”

And like two characters on a muggle cartoon show, the two Gryffindors went scrambling from the doorway.

And if James had perhaps stuck around even a single moment longer, he would have heard Barty ask you if he could “at least scare them a little?” to which you simply replied “be my guest.”

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maxdibert · 23 days ago

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Alright, let’s dive into the dumpster fire that the Marauders fandom has become last years and threw any sense of canon or character integrity out the window. Because let’s be real, the way this fandom has twisted the characters of the Marauders and the Death Eaters, all while turning Severus Snape into some one-note “creepy stalker,” is embarrassing. The fandom seems obsessed with scrubbing characters clean, romanticizing abusers, inventing tragic backstories for literal sociopaths, and piling up headcanons that turn a few lines in canon into fully fleshed-out, fanon-only OCs. And somehow, the only character who gets relentlessly dragged and demonized is Severus Snape—a character who has actual complexity and trauma. It’s hypocritical, classist, and downright gross.

Let’s start with Severus. Canon Snape is a guy who came from nothing: poor background, abusive father, dead-end town. He didn’t fit into the wizarding world, was relentlessly bullied by privileged Marauders, and still somehow managed to survive and make something of himself. But instead of acknowledging any of that, the fandom loves to reduce him to this “creepy obsessive” stereotype. People act like he spent every waking moment pining for Lily and never did anything else, as if that’s all his character is. Never mind the fact that he was actively trying to get out of a miserable life, or that he was, you know, bullied on a daily basis by James and Sirius, who had wealth, status, and freedom to do whatever they wanted. Nope, to the Marauders fandom, Snape is just the “weird stalker”—because acknowledging his struggles would mean admitting that their golden boys were actually kind of awful.

Meanwhile, the same people are out here bending over backward to make people like Barty Crouch Jr., Evan Rosier, and Regulus Black look like misunderstood anti-heroes. Let’s be clear: in canon, Barty Crouch Jr. was a straight-up torturer, Evan Rosier died laughing as he fought Aurors, and Regulus was a kid raised with a silver spoon who only started doubting Voldemort when he realized he’d been signed up as snake chow. But no, fanon has turned these guys into “tragic, complex Slytherins” who were “just trying to survive.” It’s like they’re desperate for some tortured prince narrative, so they invent personalities out of thin air to give us this dreamy aesthetic of sad, beautiful Death Eaters who “didn’t really want to be evil.” Apparently, actually following the text is too much to ask when you’ve got fanon fantasies to uphold.

Regulus Black, in particular, has become this absurd fanon martyr. In canon, Regulus was a kid indoctrinated into pureblood ideology, who joined the Death Eaters without much hesitation. Maybe he had a change of heart eventually, but it wasn’t out of some grand moral revelation; he just realized Voldemort’s loyalty was to himself alone. Yet, according to the current fandom, Regulus is some misunderstood hero who was only “pretending” to go along with Voldemort and was “forced” into his choices. They’ve built this tragic romance around a character who, in the actual books, doesn’t have even half this depth. This Regulus in fanon is practically an OC at this point, and people cling to this made-up version of him so hard that they’ll defend it like it’s canon. It’s hilarious, and it’s also just plain wrong.

And let’s talk about the Marauders themselves. In canon, James and Sirius were rich, spoiled brats who spent their school years bullying anyone who didn’t fit into their world. They were kids with every privilege, and they used it to torment people like Snape, who had nothing. But the Marauders’ fandom has turned them into these fluffy, “good-hearted” rebels who just made “a few mistakes.” I’m sorry, but nearly killing someone as a “prank” is a bit more than a mistake. Yet people will ignore that or wave it away as “boys will be boys” just to keep up the illusion that James and Sirius were lovable scamps. It’s maddening—and it’s also classist as hell. They erase all the ugly realities of the Marauders’ behavior and then turn around and judge Snape for being “obsessive” and “weird” when he was just trying to survive in a world stacked against him.

The classism in this fandom is so blatant it’s laughable. Snape is written off as creepy and unworthy of sympathy because he didn’t have a cushy upbringing or the social standing to make him likable. Meanwhile, characters like Barty and Regulus, who came from wealthy pureblood families, get excused and romanticized to no end. It’s like the fandom is saying, “Well, Snape deserved it because he was poor and awkward, but the rich kids? They’re just misunderstood.” It’s the kind of privilege blindness that makes you wonder if people actually read the books or if they’re just projecting their own biases onto the characters.

And let’s not forget the army of new OCs the Marauders fandom has invented just to justify this headcanon universe (Mary, Marlene, Dorcas, that that Pandora no one knows why suddenly appears here lol) You’ve got random “best friends” for Sirius, unnamed Slytherins who magically have no ties to pureblood supremacy, and love interests for Regulus who supposedly saw the “real” him. All these characters are based on nothing more than a few throwaway lines, yet people have fleshed them out to a level that they’re practically new characters in the universe. It’s like they need this entourage of made-up people to back up their version of the Marauders and Death Eaters because, without them, their headcanons would fall apart. And all of this, while they keep painting Snape as this creepy loner with no real friends or worth. The hypocrisy is unreal.

At the end of the day, the Marauders fandom has taken a bunch of characters with clear flaws and complexities and rewritten them into these sanitized, tortured souls while dumping all their scorn onto Snape. They’ll go out of their way to redeem a literal torturer like Barty Crouch Jr. or turn Regulus into some tragic hero, but they can’t bring themselves to even consider Snape’s trauma or the systematic abuse he endured. It’s all about maintaining this fantasy where their favorite characters are perfect and untouchable, even if it means twisting canon and ignoring the ugly truths about class, privilege, and abuse that is reflected into the story. And that, honestly, just makes the fandom look shallow, hypocritical, and completely disconnected from the reality.

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notanupstandingcitizen · 6 days ago

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headcannon that regulus and james have the splendid idea of mixing their respective friend groups to share hear me out cakes.

It turns out being a complete disaster because barty and evan keep coming up with the freakiest ones only to mess with the marauders (especially peter). sirius is traumatized. james suspects that regulus has been on it since the beginning. remus and the girls are the only ones who find it hilarious.

barty would be putting dumbledore in his hear me out cake and be like "i'd like to verify his skills as headmaster, if you catch my drift" and wink at james. cue to evan putting Moaning Myrtle "ever wonder why they call her that??"

marlene is the only one who matches their freak by putting frank's grandmother

#dead gay wizards #james potter #regulus black #sirius black #jegulus #wolfstar #remus lupin #art heist baby #the maruaders #marlene mckinnon #dorcas meadowes #dorlene #only the brave #all the young dudes #rosekiller #barty crouch jr #evan rosier #slytherin skittles #peter pettigrew

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wisteria-lodge · 4 months ago

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I LOVE the version of Lucius in your fic Prison of the Phoenix. He's different from a lot of portrayals I've seen. Why did you decide to write him how you did?

A lot of the fun of writing a book-accurate fix-it fic comes from taking the events of the book, and removing JKRs (simplistic, misleading, sometimes just weird) narrative framing. Slytherins = baddies, Gryffindors = goodies, you know.

This is especially fun with Lucius Malfoy, who just like… isn’t very evil? Chamber of Secrets is his most villainous book, and I’ll get to that, but otherwise? He tries (unsuccessfully) to get the animal that attacked his kid killed. He donates to hospitals (but in like, an evil way.) He is a hilariously incompetent Death Eater, and then he's Voldemort’s punching bag.

That’s kind of the point of Lucius. He looks the part. He commits to the aesthetics of the thing, with the hair and the peacocks and the snake-wand-cane. He likes the mystique of walking into a room and knowing that you know (but can’t prove) he’s a dark wizard. It allows him to be… kinda lazy. He can coast on his family name, money, reputation, privilege. I really think that if you sat Lucius Malfoy down and asked him to walk you through all the wizard-supremacy talking points he wouldn’t be able to do it. He’ll toss around words like “mudblood” and “mudblood-lover” no problem, but in the end he doesn’t really care. Lucius is not a true believer. The way the world is set up benefits him tremendously and he doesn’t want Voldemort back. That’s just text:

“Use your brains, Ron,” said Bill. “If they really were Death Eaters… I bet they’d be even more frightened than the rest of us to see him come back. They denied they’d ever been involved with him when he lost his powers, and went back to their daily lives… I don’t reckon he’d be over-pleased with them, do you?”

Lucius and friends had too much to drink at a sporting event, put on the old outfits (again with the aesthetics) and started levitating muggles. Which obviously isn’t GOOD, but they’re not killing or torturing, or furthering any kind of agenda. It’s important that Barty is so insulted and pissed off by the way they’re basically playing Dark Wizard that he casts the Dark Mark to “show [them] what loyalty to the Dark Lord meant, and to punish them for their lack of it.” Which kicks off most of the events of the book.

Prison of the Phoenix is going to have a companion, parallel fic told from Harry’s POV (tentatively titled Harry Potter and Malfoy’s Suspicious Interest in Werewolves.) Lucius does show up in that one, and I was honestly surprised by how much more frightening and intimidating he is when filtered through Harry’s perspective. Because with a Severus POV… when Severus is used to spending time around Voldemort, Greyback, Bellatrix, honestly Dumbledore and Sirius Black…. Lucius is not scary. Lucius wants to buy presents for his son, go to high-profile events with his beautiful wife, and wear a variety of snake-themed accessories and extravagant hats.

I wanted a kind of college-roommates-who-stayed-friends feel for the Severus + Lucius relationship, because they are friends. Sirius calls Severus Lucius’ “lapdog,” and Narcissa calls him Lucius’ “oldest friend.” Lucius is also part of the welcoming committee when Severus is first sorted into Slytherin. He’s five years older (I think Jason Isaacs is the only Harry Potter adult the same age as the character he plays), which would have affected the dynamic between him and Severus a lot in school. Personally, I think it makes sense for Lucius to be a little protective of this brilliant half-blood kid with no money. And as an adult, there’s some guilt mixed in there as well. Severus probably would not have been sucked into the Voldemort thing nearly as deep or nearly as fast if it hadn’t been for Lucius, and the war kind of destroyed him. Lucius remembers a younger Severus who was modding potions, inventing spells, coming up with cheeky nicknames for himself, and that person is gone. That’s a big part of the reason he’s so invested in the Severus/Remus relationship in Prison of the Phoenix. Something about Remus has managed to wake up parts of that younger Severus, and Lucius thinks that’s fantastic.

I also think Lucius might be the character who knows Voldemort the best. He’s one of the only Death Eaters who Voldemort calls by their first name (Bellatrix, Severus, and Draco are the others) and he’s weirdly familiar with his “slippery friend” Lucius, addressing the whole speech about how/why he returned to him, for some reason? Anything that helps Voldemort make sense as a person I’ll take, and to me it makes sense that young Tom Riddle charmed Abraxas Malfoy, Lucius’ father, first. The dates are right, and he’s exactly Tom’s type - rich, pureblood, probably easily flattered (let’s be honest) and sitting on a pile of magical artifacts. It’s very Hepzibah Smith vibes, is what I’m saying. And rich, posh, popular seventeen year olds don’t join cults. But if Lucius’ father was already in a cult…

It also makes sense to me that Tom Riddle got sort of stuck when he killed Marvolo Gaunt, and made his first horcrux at sixteen. He has this fascination with sixteen year old pureblood wizards (so Barty, Draco, and Lucius would have fit this profile.) He sort of wants to be them, but also sort of wants to break them? It’s messy, and complicated. It’s creepy and compelling, that Lucius is aging but this spectre that’s dominated his life isn’t.

And so when Lucius gives Ginny the diary in Book 2… it makes sense that he’s just trying to get rid of it. He was just at Borgin and Burkes selling dark artifacts, but knows that the diary is worse. He needs to make sure it can’t possibly be traced back to him. So he gives it to the daughter of the head of the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts office. (It is an enchanted muggle artifact, after all.) If Arthur Weasley finds it and deals with it, fine. If Ginny is discovered with it in a way that blows up in Arthur’s face, also fine. If it does get to Hogwarts and does open the Chamber of Secrets - well Draco is going to be fine, and it might undermine Dumbledore. If it was really important to Lucius that the diary rid the school of muggleborns… he would have given it to Draco had him use it. Or given it to Draco, and told him to leave it somewhere for an enemy to find. But Lucius doesn’t do that, because he doesn’t want Voldemort back and his politics just aren’t that important to him.

The one trait I did give Lucius that doesn’t go back to the books is just being madly in love with Narcissa. Lucius is an unrepentant wife guy. (And I mean… it doesn’t contradict anything. There isn’t anything in the books to suggest that he isn’t a wife guy.) I honestly did that for structural reasons. I’m writing a romance with Severus, who has the emotional awareness of a stack of roofing tiles. He just really, really needed a friend he could ask for relationship advice.

#prison of the phoenix #hp #jkr critical #lucius malfoy #lucius malfoy meta #severus snape #snupin #remus x severus #fanfiction #hp analysis #tom riddle

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bri-cheeses · 6 months ago

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So I was just thinking… the Marauders Map.

They can obviously see everyone on that thing, right? And you know that James would get out the map just to look at Regulus and everything… so I’m thinking that one day, James is looking for Regulus, and his eye catches on Evan, who’s in an abandoned classroom. And he obviously knows that Evan is one of Reg’s friends, so he gets curious and lingers on him for a bit, wondering why he’s just waiting around in an empty room. Then he notices a dot making its way closer and closer, and it’s Barty, who enters the classroom and meets up with Evan and James is like: wow. Such good friends.

And if their dots are a little too close together, he doesn’t notice, his eye having already moved on to look for Regulus again. But it keeps happening, and James finally thinks it’s odd enough to ask Regulus about why Barty and Evan hang out together so much, just the two of them. And Regulus stops and stares at him and says very flatly: what.

And James explains that he keeps on seeing them on the map (the existence of which Regulus has been informed of by this point) in abandoned classrooms, their names practically overlapping. James still doesn’t think much of it, just slightly confused, but Regulus knows.

So Regulus gets up and leaves with nothing more than a “see you later” over his shoulder, then immediately confronts Barty and Evan in the dorms. Discreetly, though, subtly inquiring about their lives and if anything interesting’s happened, and oh, Barty, how’s that girl you were seeing for a while just a little bit ago? And while he’s doing this, he’s watching their reactions, seeing their shared glances and (on Evan’s part, when Reg brings up that girl) jealous expressions.

By the end of it, he’s sure that there’s something going on between them.

Reg nods along to something Evan is saying from where he’s perched much too comfortably on Barty’s bed, and when he finishes speaking, Reg finally says straight out, “Right. So tell me, when did you two start sleeping together?”

The stunned silence that follows is almost comical, Evan’s mouth dropping open in astonishment. Barty starts to double over in laughter, wheezing about how it only took a couple of weeks for Regulus to catch on and wow, Evs, isn’t that hilarious? Evan still looks horrified, but comes around once he realizes that this means Barty can come sit next to him, put his arm around him, and have it not be questioned.

Anyways, I just imagine the following conversation to be hilarious. Regulus doesn’t want to hear details, Barty is all too keen on sharing them, Evan very clearly does not want to be there—ugh. Pure amusement. Chef’s kiss, really.

Yeah, so I just think that the whole James-accidentally-outing-Evan-and-Barty-to-Regulus thing is a fun scenario to imagine

#will i write this for real? maybe #we’ll see #rosekiller #evan rosier #barty crouch jr #rosekiller headcanon #slytherin skittles #marauders era #regulus black #james potter #jegulus

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ecstarry · 4 months ago

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@rosekillermicrofic / charm / 299 words

“I don’t think you have it in you,” Barty insisted.

“You don’t think I’m charming enough?” Evan leaned in and rested his arms on the table, inches away from Barty’s blushed face.

“At the moment? No.” He was trying his best to conceal a smile that was reserved for a teasing Evan.

“Not even a bit… entertaining?” Evan smoothly sat next to him and placed his hand on Barty’s knee.

“Ridiculous feels more like it,” Barty dared.

Evan beamed at this response and slowly raised his hand towards Barty’s thigh. Evan’s touch was calculated. He always stopped mid-thigh and pressed his hand enough for the warmth of his palm to be detected under Barty’s pants, but never a strong enough grip for it to be a clear invitation for anything else.

“How funny am I now?”

“Fucking hilarious actually.” A desperate breath left Barty’s lips.

“Really?” Evan whispered next to Barty’s ear, his lips brushing the skin.

Barty shivered; he always did when Evan came that close. It drove him insane. His memory was shit, but Evan’s scent and touch were branded on his skin. He could remember every single time his best friend’s lips had brushed his neck or his hand had ended up exactly there.

“Yeah.” He didn’t say anything else, afraid that the wrong thing could make Evan want to stop playing with him and remove his hand. If all he was to Evan was a toy, he didn’t care.

Barty remembered all the fucked-up dolls he saw in Evan’s childhood bedroom and smiled to himself. The idea of Evan tearing him apart, limb by limb, made him excited. He wanted nothing more than to be under Evan’s merciless touch.

But for now, Evan’s warmth against his clothing was enough. He would get his way eventually.

#tbh i have no idea what evan's point was #and tbh i don't think evan knew either #he just wanted any excuse to tease barty again #rosekiller #barty crouch junior #barty crounch jr #barty crouch x evan rosier #evan rosier #slytherin skittles #harry potter marauders #marauders #marauders era #bcj #barty x evan #rosekiller microfic

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iamgonnagetyouback · 1 month ago

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I need some Barry crouch x reader hcs!!!

headcanons for barty crouch jr x reader

✧ Barty's tough exterior melts a bit when he's with you.

✧ Although he’s far from “cuddly,” he has his unique ways of showing affection, like brushing your hair back when you’re distracted or tracing your features as you sleep.

✧ Barty’s not one for sweet words, but his actions speak volumes.

✧ He’ll get you your favorite snacks or bring you small trinkets he found while out (which may or may not look slightly ominous) because he thought of you.

✧ Barty might act like he doesn’t care about anyone, but he’s fiercely protective of you.

✧ Even in mundane settings, he’ll shoot anyone who looks at you wrong a glare that practically screams, “try me.”

✧ Barty has a dark sense of humor that only you truly understand.

✧ He’ll make some snide comment about a “light curse” on that annoying person who cut you off, and you’re caught between laughing and wondering if he’s serious.

✧ Expect a list of names only he can call you that would sound terrifying coming from anyone else.

✧ "My little accomplice" or "favorite sinner" are all meant with an oddly fond glint in his eye.

✧ Barty has a twisted sense of what qualifies as a "prank."

✧ He’ll hide your wand and act innocent, or cast a temporary charm to give you a slight shiver whenever you say a particular word.

✧ The fact that he finds these things hilarious somehow makes them even more endearing.

✧ Barty has zero interest in keeping things “normal.”

✧ He’ll whisk you away to strange places or suddenly decide that he wants to dance with you in a forbidden part of Hogwarts, laughing wildly as you try to shush him.

✧ Arguments are intense with Barty but often end up with some kind of wicked banter. "I would gladly hex you right now," he’ll say, and you’ll counter, “As if you’d survive a day without me.” He grins in response, all too delighted by your bite.

✧ He’ll make a big deal about not being “soft,” but then you’ll catch him resting his hand on your back protectively in a crowd or casting discreet protective charms on you.

✧ Barty opens up during the witching hours, sharing bits of his past and fears.

✧ His walls come down, and he’ll even reveal the vulnerabilities he rarely lets surface, confessing his struggles while holding you close as if you’re his lifeline.

✧ As restless as Barty is, he finds peace lying next to you, though he’ll grumble about it if you ever bring it up.

✧ He likes to keep a hand on you while you sleep, subtly ensuring you're there without having to admit he needs the reassurance.

✧ Dating Barty means being the only person he truly lets into his life, creating a bond that’s almost unbreakable.

✧ He’d go to terrifying lengths for you, making you feel like the center of his world, albeit in his own darkly intense way.

some convos that might arise while dating barty

BARTY: *glares at someone looking at you wrong* “Do you want me to handle that, or should I just wait until they’re not looking?” YOU: “Barty, no.” REGULUS: *muttering* “Honestly, let him. It’ll be quick.” YOU: “You’re not helping, Reg.”

YOU: “So, are you a morning person?” BARTY: “Only if by morning person you mean a creature of darkness slowly acclimating to daylight.” PANDORA: *snickering* “At least he’s honest.” YOU: “That… is more fitting than I expected.”

YOU: *quietly* “Barty, sometimes it feels like you’re just… not here.” BARTY: *pauses* “I know. I’m trying. I promise.” BARTY: *sighs, taking your hand* “You’re the only thing keeping me from going too far.”

BARTY: “If anything happens to you, I’ll bring the whole world down.” REGULUS: *chuckling* “That’s rich, coming from the guy who can barely commit to a daily schedule.” YOU: *rolling your eyes* “Thanks for the reassurance, Barty. Not ominous at all.” BARTY: “I’m serious!” EVAN: *snorts* “Yes, and you’re also a menace, so there’s that.”

YOU: “You have to admit you like being with me.” BARTY: *grins* “Like? Oh, I’m far past ‘like.’” PANDORA: *smirking* “I think what he’s trying to say is that he’d hex anyone who dares come between you.” YOU: “Great. Love in true Barty fashion.” BARTY: “I’d curse them with a smile.”

YOU: “Why do you always smirk when things get serious?” BARTY: “It’s either that or throw something.” PANDORA: “He really does throw things. Mostly at me.” BARTY: “Only when you’re too calm. I need someone on my level.” EVAN: *dryly* “Misery loves company, I suppose.” YOU: “You’re all impossible.”

BARTY: “Don’t go. I can handle whatever it is.” YOU: *raising an eyebrow* “Barty, it’s literally an event for flower arranging.” BARTY: “It could still be dangerous!” PANDORA: *snorts* “From the roses, or the daisies?” BARTY: “You know I don’t trust people. Especially around you.” YOU: “Don't worry, Barty.I’ll keep my eye out for sinister roses.”

YOU: “I think I bring out your softer side.” BARTY: “Let’s not spread rumors, love. I have a reputation to uphold.” EVAN: “What, of being intolerably prickly?” BARTY: *smiling* “Prickly enough to keep them away from her.” YOU: “You’re so charming.”

#barty crouch jr x reader #barty crouch jr #barty jr #barty #barty crouch junior #barty crouch jr headcanons #ivy's soft scribbles ೀ

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