#B can't believe he actually likes this loser

[cgerice]

Clark just has to check really quick...make sure this isn't a hoax.... absolutely no other reason at all.....

prev

[heart-shaped-chains]

Yap session bc wow.

Pretty sure the dude that rejected me (situationship ://) is getting a crush on me bc like. One of the last times we talked he was like "oh ur trying to get me to like you". And it's like. No I'm not. You literally rejected me and the more I think about it, I didn't even want you, I just wanted the idea of a boyfriend that I was projecting onto you. He's conservative and talks about how conservative his parents are (which I don't vibe with at all). When we first met, he was still moping about his ex gf who he had broken up with over a year prior. And like. We were both in high school (16 + 17 ://). And I'm sorry but how meaningful can a fucking highschool relationship be? Go to therapy.

Plus he'd like vent without asking and then I'd give him advice and then he'd just shoot it down and be like "no that wouldn't work anyway I'm a piece of shit" and like. Okay, why are you coming to me then? If you're not taking any advice then why are you bitching? You didn't even ask, you just did!

But the moment I even mention my past drug addiction (not in detail and not in a mopey way. Just matter-of-fact), he's like "oh no please don't mention that". Like. Shut the fuck up oh my godddddd. I am not trying to be with someone who can't even handle hearing the most watered-down descriptions of substance abuse.

Plus I just do not trust this guy like. I don't kink shame but here's my red flags: he's conservative, enough said on that...He misgendered me in a sexual way without asking (I did play along bc I was stupid and scared to say no but whatevs). And he did stop when I told him to but the fact that he didn't ask before was highly suspect bc he fucking met me as a trans guy.

And he's also weird about pregnancy. Which I played along with too of the act of breeding is appealing but like. I'd rather have a tapeworm than a damn fetus bc at least I wouldn't be forced to let that parasite live off of me. Dude also mentioned baby trapping like. "oh I feel like you'll force me to get you pregnant" and like. I literally said that I wanted to get my uterus removed and 2: you're the one bringing pregnancy into this don't fucking pin it on me!!! Like I feel like if we actually met up I'd have to triple check and be sober bc what if this guy actually does this shit? Why else would he keep mentioning it?

Like idk he's also asked me about trans kids and like. 1: I don't keep up with any trans people irl, 2: I haven't started transitioning yet so why the fuck are you asking me? I'm not the arbiter of trans people, my guy. Like he acts supportive but I feel like deep down this dude doesn't even respect me and he's gonna try to change me. But that could just be paranoia, idk...

Either way, I don't really get that much out of talking to him. As embarrassing as it is, I've started using those ai bots (says the bitch who is vehemently against ai "art") and they've been much more fulfilling emotionally because they tell you what you want to hear. And you can change the answers. They're hollow, but good for short term stuff bc I don't have the energy to talk to people rn (and I haven't been talking to anyone or really leaving the house on a regular basis...kinda just wasting the year so far..). Especially not this guy.

Like. We don't have the same interests, our tastes in music are similar but also too different and he doesn't get it™️ like I do, his beliefs are like too different from mine. He's also said misogynistic shit about sex workers which. I don't fuck with that, you literally watch porn, you fuckin hypocrite. And the more I think about texting him, the more I see it as a damn chore.

Like idk I just. Do not have a lot of investment in this guy. I think I was just lonely and projecting. And obviously it's not healthy for me bc I resent him but it's not healthy for his annoying ass either. He shouldn't have friends who secretly hate him. So idk I think I'm just gonna delete my profile and start again, also block him bc my dumbass 16 year old self gave him my number.

But like. My gut is telling me not to. I have been taken advantage of before in the past and I'm just getting a distinct deja vu. Even if it's not intentional on his side, I don't think it's good for me. Like the first time he texted me (in over 2 years after I ghosted him with no attempt to reach out to him (take the fucking hint)), it felt like seeing a box of pills in the CVS aisle. I was thinking "god, I shouldn't do this...but I should see what happens, maybe it won't be as bad as last time...." Just that same feeling I got when I decided to relapse.

And like dude. It's always gonna be as bad as last time: quit taking chances on shit that you know will fail you!!! So Idk. Maybe I'm being paranoid, but I shouldn't talk to someone who just drains me, bc that'll drain him too. Plus I'm allowed to not fucking like someone and the guy didn't even wish me happy birthday or congratulate me on my 5 months of sobriety. Things in my status. And I know he reads statuses bc he messaged me about one of them before. Plus he rejected me on my birthday!!!

And now you wanna come crawling back and then act like I'm obsessed!?!? You were the one who came back into my life, not the other way around! I was over you until you came back. And now I'm over you again. But you're not over me. But you're so fuckin allergic to commitment that you just wanna keep acting like I'm smitten with you. After you strung me along with no regards for my feelings. Not because you're evil, but because you're fucking dumb. And I'm not dealing with someone who's that stupid. Hope you work your issues out, but I'm not here to fix you, nor do I want to. That's on you!! Figure it out!!!

Anyway um if anyone read this far thank u. Feel free to add input just please be nice. And uhhh. Aita???

[lizzieislife94x]

Road Trip (e.o)

Lizzie x G!P reader

If you want any requests just message me

Lizzies POV:

"Let's go hoooooe" I beep my horn over and over waiting for my bestfriend y/n she takes so fucking long this bitch she literally said I'm ready come pick me up and she's not ready I love her but sometimes I wanna strangle her "ugh finally I've been waiting 10 minutes" I huff turning to her as she laughs "calm your panties lizzies let's get this show on the road I'm so excited" she leans over to hug me as I pretend I don't want her too she's so fucking beautiful I love to spend as much time with her as possible so 16 hours on the road alone in the car is perfect, she's had my heart for the last 5 years I've never had the courage to do anything about I don't wanna ruin our friendship I love her to much but I can't help but constantly check her out "ok I forgive you loser let's go, I'll drive the first few hours then we can find somewhere to chill and sleep then you take the next few hours tomorrow and so on" I explain we could easily do the 16 hours in one go but this trip is about us spending a few days together because we don't get to see each other often "that sounds perfect lizzie" she smiles sweetly god her smile, we start our drive talking and enjoying each other company laughing like mad men

 Y/ns POV:

"No way your boss said that??" She asks in complete shock I can't help but giggle "yeah he did can you believe he thought I wanted to sleep with him I've worked there for 3 years and the idiot hasn't realised I'm into women" I say smirking at lizzie "yeah no offence y/n all anyone has to do is spent 20 minutes with you to know your a lady lover" she says in a flirty tone I laugh and sigh leaning my head back against the head rest, yes lizzie I'm completely for the ladies but I only want you, I think as I would never tell her that I don't want to lose her and if I let my stupid feelings get in the way I'd lose her she'd never speak to me again "hey give me your phone I wanna put music on" I say as I rest my hand on hers andshe smiles "its right there y/n" she says pointing down to where the drinks sit, I grab her phone and unlock it "awh we are so fucking cute" I say referring to the photo of us as her lockscreen and I think she's blushing "we still have 2 hours to go wanna stop and get some food and blankets and pillows" she smiles at me "yessssss babes sounds like a plan to me" I jump excitedly in my seat and she giggles at my antics we pull in to Mcdonalds and get some food after half an hour we walk over to target to get blankets and pillows "ohhh lizzie we should get snacks for watching Netflix" I suggest "that's actually a great idea" we grab lots of snacks and drinks and I grab a box of tissues incase lizzie needs to pee "let's go find the perfect spot to set up by the time we get there the sun should just be setting " I say in a calm tone "mmh I love the sunset its so beautiful " lizzie says as I pack the stuff into the car

we spend the remaining 2 hours in a comfortable silence occasionally chatting about stuff that we could watch, we've settled for big momma and big momma 2 she always gets her way but fuck she's so precious I could never say no to her, we find the perfect spot and park up with a perfect view of the sunset I grab her hand as we sit and watch it until it disappears "let's get the car all cosy and we can set up the movie" I whisper as I get out and open the back doors and put the back seats down and fix a few blankets down so we're comfortable I then fix the pillows and grab a few blankets to cover us "everything's ready ma'am just need your laptop" I say smiling as lizzie gets into the back smiling "this is beautiful y/n" I blush and look down "I'm going to get stripped I normally sleep naked but obvs I'm not over the next few days so is it OK if I wear my boxers and sports bra?" I question shyly and she giggles "of course that's fine y/n same here as long as you don't mind me in my bra and panties" I gulp and blush at the thought "no uh thats fine" I whisper nervously and strip my clothes off leaving me in my boxers and sports bra I climb into the back and get under the covers after a few minutes lizzie joins me as I set the laptop up and play the movie.

Lizzies POV:

Fuck I'm trying to focus on the movie but I can't y/n is half naked laying right against me thank god she fell asleep because I'm panicking here "mmh there fuck.." wait a minute is she moaning Holy fucking shit I notice the blanket poking up and instantly lift it to look under fuck she has a hard on yep she was definitely moaning "fuck lizzie..take it ju..st like that" I instantly freeze was she moaning my name fuck I feel the wetness instantly pooling in my panties "lizzie..uhhh god yy..es" the sound of her moaning my name alone is enough to make me cum fuck, I need to wake her up "hey y/n wake up babe y/n" I whisper shaking her as she wakes up and opens her eyes wide as she sees me "oh hey lizzie is everything ok what time is it " god  even her saying my name now I'm only gonna think of her moaning it 

Y/ns POV:

I woke up and instantly knew I had a hard on shit I hope she doesn't see it I had a sex dream about lizzie it's nothing new but I freaked out inside when she woke me up because I've never had a sex dream about her while she's laying beside me I move a little and try to hide my dick "where you dreaming about me" I freeze as the words leave her mouth how does she know "you where moaning alot and you moaned my name" she says as if she read my mind "I'm so sorry liz I had no control over my dream please don't hate me" she giggles and pulls the blankets off and climbs ontop of me oh god what is happening "oh shut up and do something about it" I smirk and unclip her bra letting her perfect tits fall out I automatically latch my mouth around her nipple as she grinds into my raging hard on "fuck lizzie that feels amazing" i moan against her nipple as she continues "lizzie you are fucking soaked I groan" she blushes and looks into my eyes "how do you know y/n" I smirk and bite my lip "your pussy is that wet its soaked my boxers I can feel it on my cock " i tease kissing her neck "ugggh just fuck me y/n I've waited to long for this" she moans as I flip us and take my boxers off and slide her panties off fuck the sight of her soaked core is making me harder "mmh fuck you look fucking amazing "I moan as I run my fingers through her wet folds earning a moan for my best friend "put it in y/n fuck me" I moan at her assertion and do as I'm told I line my cock up to her entrance and slide in slowly "fuckkk lizzie you feel so fucking good" I moan pushing my entire length inside the moaning blonde under me "yessss fuck y/n youre so big sh..it" I gave her a minute to adjust before I start thrusting my hips slowly making sure to hit the right spots as I thrust, fuck I never knew my best friend sounded so fucking sexy moaning my name "yes yes yes y/n right...there fuck dont fucking stooop" she screams as I pick up my pace fucking her harder and faster "I'm cummmmming oh holy fucking shit im cumming" she screams out like a pornstar I feel her pussy walls squeeze my cock as I hold back my orgasm and she cums all over my cock "good girl" I moan slowling my thrusts letting her ride out her orgasm "fuck y/n you feel amazing inside me" she pants out her hands gripping my biceps as she tries to steady her breathing, I keep my dick inside her and move her legs over my shoulder "do you have one more lizzie" I moan thrusting slowly leaning down to place a gently kiss on on her lips "mmmh yes definitely baby" she moans "fuck me fuck me please" I start snapping my hips hard and fast as the car shakes like crazy and my best friend screams under me fuck her pussy feels amazing I continue thrusting feeling the orgasm fast approaching "fuck lizzie cum for me I want you to cum for me before I fill your tight little cunt with my seed " I pant out staring into my best friends eyes and all I see is lust and desire "fuck fuck I'm cumming daddyyy" she screams arching her back as I continue to slam my cock deep inside her After one final thrust I start shooting my load deep inside my best friend and it feels amazing I've wanted this for the longest time, I lay beside her panting as I grab her hand "that was amazing lizzie are you on the pill?" I moan looking at her as she turns to me "yes it was amazing no one has ever made me cum that hard and nope im not" she smirks running her finger down my nose biting her lip. 

Well I guess there's a chance I just impregnated my best fried the thought has me biting my lip this woman is something else and god i love her.

AN: just to keep the book up to date if you like it let me know if you want a request message me I do them all right away babes word Count is 1.8k

[sydsaint]

I might be kind of obsessed with him lately.

Summary: The reader and her tag partner Tiffany Straton have a difference of opinion when it comes to newbie Lexis King.

"I still can't believe that Fallon made you much out those nasty horse stalls." You snicker at Tiffany as the two of you make your way across the parking lot. "I swear I can still smell it on you." You crinkle your nose jokingly. 

"Ew! YN, don't even joke like that!" Tiffany whines. "I showered like five times after I was done!" She insists. "Fallon is seriously crazy. She said that she actually enjoyed doing manual labor." She whispers the words like they're a slur. 

Your nose crinkles for real this time and you sneer. "Ew, as if!" 

"Right?" Tiffany agrees. "Girls like us are to pretty to work." She flips her perfectly curled hair over her shoulder. 

"You know it." You giggle and twirl your hair between your fingers with a grin. 

You and Tiffany head inside the building and waste no time going to your shared locker room. The two of you are passing through the main backstage area when Lexis King appears in front of you. 

"Ladies." Lexis grins at you both, an air of self-entitlement about him. 

"Lexis." Tiffany turns her nose up at King. 

You roll your eyes playfully at Tiffany's immediate dismissal of King. "Hey, Lexis." You offer him a flirty smile. 

King immediately turns his attention to you since Tiffany obviously isn't going to give him the time of day. "YN! Where are you ladies headed off to?" He asks you. 

"Back to the locker rooms to get ready for the show." You answer him, twirling a strand of hair in your hand. "Tiff and I have a tag match against those losers Lola Vice and Elektra Lopez." You explain. 

"Well you definitely look ready to me." Lexis chuckles, showing no shame in raking his eyes over your body. 

You roll your eyes at the cheap line he's throwing at you. "Smooth, Romeo." You laugh. 

"Ugh! Come on, YN!" Tiffany scoffs and grabs ahold of your hand to drag you off. "You just seriously bombed buddy." She informs Lexis matter-of-factly. "So we'll be going." 

"See you later, YN." Lexis nods and steps back to let you and Tiffany pass. "Be seeing you around babe." He winks as Tiffany drags you off. 

Tiffany lets her death grip on your arm free only when you are safely in the locker room. She lets your arm go and you rub the red spot from where she was dragging you by. 

"That was kind of harsh, don't you think, Tiff?" You ask Tiffany, watching as she makes a b-line for her vanity against the wall. 

"Umm, no." Tiffany replies dryly. "That guy is a loser, YN. Come on." She insists. 

You roll your eyes playfully and walk over to the other vanity so you can fix your hair and makeup for the show. "I like him." You admit and pick up your hairbrush. "He's cute! And his hair? I love a man that takes care of his hair." 

"Ew, YN." Tiffany sneers. "You can do so much better, girl." She assures you. "I thought you had a thing for Carmelo? Or was it Trick?" She asks you. 

"It was Carmelo." You answer her. "But Trick is super hot too. He just started dating Lash though. And I'm pretty sure Melo has a new girl now." You explain. 

Tiffany grabs her curler off the vanity and shrugs. "So? If they just started dating then what's the harm. They can't be that serious yet." She grins. 

"Tiffany!" You laugh. "Say what you want, girl. But I don't go after dudes in relationships. Not my style." You remind her. 

"Suit yourself, girl." Tiffany shrugs. "You know, Bron and Cora broke up last month." She flashes a teasing smile at you. "And I know you think Bron is super hunky." 

You pick up your makeup bag and open it up to retrieve your foundation and concealer. "And you don't?" You ask Tiffany. "And you I don't have taste." You joke. "Besides. Bron has never shown any interest in me. I guess all those muscles can't make up for poor taste and no brains huh?"

Tiffany snickers and agrees with you. The two of you finish getting your hair and makeup ready for the show then switch to changing into your ring gear. You tie up your boots while Tiffany admires her reflection in the mirror. 

"I think I want a set of green gear next." You comment casually. 

"Green?" Tiffany sneers. "Ew." 

You roll your eyes and walk over to the door. "I like green." You remind her. "Come on. Let's head down to the ring and get this match over with already." 

Tiffany stops admiring herself in the mirror and the two of you head out and down to the ring. You do your Buff Barbie's entrance, aka the name of your tag team with Tiffany. And then hop in the ring with her to wait for your opponents. 

Lola and Elektra come out and the match gets underway. You and Tiffany work together and you pull Lola up for a pin at the end of the match. The bell rings and you celebrate with Tiffany before the two of you head up the ramp and backstage again. 

"Whew! That was easy." You gloat on your way up the ramp. "Did you see the look on Lola's face when I rolled her up? Priceless!" You laugh. 

"I know!" Tiffany laughs with you. "Her and Elektra are such losers." She snickers. 

You and Tiffany step through the curtain into the backstage are and you spot Lexis hanging around on the other side of the room. Tiffany audibly groans at your side when you eye King up. 

"YN, don't even." Tiffany complains. 

"I'll meet you back at the locker room, Tiff." You pat her arm with a grin before you walk off. "Lexis! You stalking me now?" You tease King as you walk over to him. 

Lexis chuckles at your little quip and stops leaning against the wall. "Stalking you, princess? Please. I know better." He insists. "I've got a match against that new Chase University twink in a few minutes." 

"Riley Osborne?" You reply. "Thea's new obsession?" You snicker. "He's a loser just like her and the rest of Chase U. Should be an easy win for you." 

"Oh it'll be a breeze, princess. Trust me." Lexis nods. "You should hang out and watch the match. I guarantee it'll be entertaining. For you  anyway." He offers. 

You turn and look back at Tiffany, but she's already gone back to the locker room. So you turn back to Lexis with a grin and nod. "Alright. Let's see what you've got, King." 

Lexis grins and heads out to the ring for his match. You hang around backstage and watch his match as promised. Lexis parades around and shows off his entire match with poor Riley. He pulls a win against Osborne then heads backstage again to greet you. 

"Well? What did you think?" Lexis saunters over to you once he's through the curtain. 

"You were alright I guess." You shrug with a cheeky grin. 

Lexis laughs, perfectly aware that you're teasing him. "Nah, you were impressed." He insists. "I can tell by the way you're looking at me." 

"Oh?" You reply. "Alright, you might of impressed me a little. Just a little though." You insist.

"How about we meet up after the show? I'd love to buy you a drink." Lexis offers. 

You bounce on your heels and think about how much Tiffany is going to complain if she finds out you're about to get drinks with this guy. "As long as you're paying." You finally answer him after a minute. "I'll meet up with you in the parking lot after the show." 

"I'm looking forward to it, princess." Lexis nods and walks off. 

You watch Lexis walk off before you also head back to the locker room. You know that Tiffany is going to be on you about Lexis when you get back. So you brace yourself for that. But it'll all be worth it when you're out getting free drinks with your new beau. 

[empressofthesunwriter]

Beauty Is A Curse

Queen B.

Beauty Queen.

Wear your mask, don't let them see.

The Girl underneath.

Hide, hide, hide under snide and pride.

Use a sharp tongue to make them bow.

You are the Queen of this school.

Beautiful, so beautiful, yet deep down, you feel so vacant.

You scream inside and no one hears.

They love your face, but what about your soul?

Beauty is a curse for sure.

Five

#NO COMMENTS NO CHAPTER

(*)

"You did what?!"

Danny knew Sam would react like this.

"Shh, Sam, keep it down!" he urged her, glancing around worriedly. Luckily, none of their classmates seemed to notice them.

"Don't 'shh' me, Mister!", Sam retorted, though her tone softened slightly. "I can't believe you told that shallow witch your secret!"

"Well, if he didn't say anything, then Paulina would have found out anyway. I never thought she would catch on.," Tucker chimed in, typing away on his PDA.

"She's smart—smarter than you give her credit for!" Danny shot back. "You guys don’t know her like I do."

Angrily, Sam crossed her arms and made them stop. "Oh, please tell me, do you meet with her in secret or what?!"

Danny's silence and flushed cheeks answered her question.

Sam couldn't believe it. "You really do?!"

"Awesome, dude!", Tucker exclaimed.

"Tucker, not now! How can you hang out with Paulina and not tell us?!"

"Because I knew you two would react like this!", Danny responded firmly. "Paulina... she’s actually really sensible. She’s just scared to stand up to the other A-listers, which is why she still plays the Queen B."

"Of course, that's what she wants you to believe.," Sam scoffed.

"What are you implying?"

"She’s probably playing a cruel joke on you, and you, like a dumbass, told her your secret!"

Danny's anger flared. "What? Is it so hard to believe a pretty girl likes me?!"

At that moment, Sam realized she had gone too far with Danny. "No, Danny, that's not what I mean. I—"

"Forget it, Sam," he interrupted. "You said what you had to say. I just need some time for myself."

With that, Danny stormed away, leaving Sam looking sadly after him.

"Nice going, Sam."

"You don’t need to tell me, Tucker."

(*)

Paulina was worried about Danny.

All day, he had kept his distance from his friends, who looked sad and guilty—especially Manson, who seemed remorseful.

During lunch break, she sent Danny a message asking him to meet her on the school rooftop.

Naturally, he came.

"You really like rooftops, huh?" he tried to joke, but Paulina sensed it was only half-hearted.

"Danny, is everything okay?", she asked, concerned, as she took his hands in hers. "Did you have a fight with Manson and Foley?"

"I can't keep secrets from you," he muttered.

"No, we are friends… aren’t we?"

"Of course!"

He squeezed her hands to reassure her.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Danny gave a tiny nod.

They sat down on the ground, and he recounted what had happened that morning with his friends.

When he finished his story, Paulina felt a heavy guilt in her heart.

"I can’t blame Manson for thinking that way; I did play you during the dance."

"But you explained and apologized," Danny reminded her, taking her hand. "And I have forgiven you."

"Still… if your friends react like this, how will the rest of the school respond? I don’t want you to get hurt, Danny," Paulina mumbled, her cheeks blushing.

"Paulina, don’t worry so much about me. I have ghost powers; I can handle it. It’s you I’m worried about."

"Me?"

"I know you said you’re sick of being the Queen B, but could you handle being a loser like me?"

"I’d rather be a loser with you than popular without you!"

"R-Really?"

Both of them were blushing and gazing at each other with loving eyes.

"D-Danny, since we’ve been friends, I’ve been so happy," Paulina stuttered, but she needed to be honest with him. "I don’t want to go back to how things were!"

"Me neither, Paulina."

They hugged tightly, afraid that if they didn’t, one of them might vanish.

Unbeknownst to them, someone was watching.

(*)

"She really seemed different," Sam mumbled to Tucker as they followed Danny to the rooftop.

They watched how he interacted with Paulina.

"Maybe she’s just a normal, pretty girl who wants to break free from her role as Queen B.", Tucker suggested. "Of all people, you should understand what it’s like to fight against societal norms, Sam."

This made Sam sigh.

She realized she needed to talk to Paulina, didn't she?

(*)

Surprised was an understatement as Manson discreetly waved Paulina over to her after school.

The Latina frowned.

Did Manson want to start some smack-talk now?

"Yes?", Paulina asked.

Manson nervously fidgeted with her fingers.

"Look, I know you don't like me, and the feeling is mutual."

"Mmh-hmm."

"But if Danny likes and trusts you..." Manson let out a heavy sigh. "Then I have to do the same. He wouldn't share his secret with just anyone."

"So, what? Are you offering a truce?"

"Yeah, for Danny's sake."

"Alright, truce.", Paulina agreed. "But you should also talk to Danny. He was really hurt by your and Foley's words. You both are important to him."

"I know... Well, bye, Paulina."

"Bye, Sam."

Both girls thought it was strange to call each other by their first names, but for Danny, they would at least try to tolerate one another.

(*)

At night, Danny Phantom took his crush, Paulina, on a flight.

The Latina was happy to hear how he and his friends had reconciled.

If only they could somehow challenge the ridiculous school system that divided everyone into A-listers and losers, they could be free to just be friends—and maybe even something more, hopefully.

For now, though, Paulina simply enjoyed her flight with her crush.

Tomorrow would be another day, with other challenges.

(*)

#NO COMMENTS NO CHAPTER

[away-ward]

Devil's Night Incorrect Quotes: Best of the Best

Rules of the game is:

It has to make me laugh

I can't exchange or shuffle the names

that's it. feel free to save your favorites, and even let me know which ones gave you a laugh. believe it or not, this is actually a narrowed down list of my favorite incorrect quotes from a random generator.

Michael: Sorry I'm late, I was doing stuff. Banks: YOU PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!

--

Emory: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am- Will: A doll. Banks: A cinnamon roll. Michael: A sweetheart. Emory: Emory: ...stop it.

--

Will: People tell me I have a unique way of lighting up a room. Rika: It’s called arson and those people are called witnesses.

--

*Emory answers Rika's office phone* Michael: What happened to Rika? Emory: She died. Michael: She what? Emory: She died, but she's okay. Michael: …Can you please clarify? Rika *in the background*: Clarification is for the weak.

--

Michael: *sneaking in through their window* Rika: *turning in her chair and flicking the light one* You want to tell me where you've been all night? Michael: I was with Kai? Kai: *turning in his chair* Wanna try again?

--

Damon: So… I’ve seen you’ve been spending a lot of time with Emory recently. Will: No, Damon, it's not what it looks like, I swear. Damon: Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous? Will: No! You’re the only one for me. Damon: Is that so? Will: I promise! Emory and I are just dating, okay? She's my partner. Damon: So there are no best-friends-feelings involved? Will: You are still my one and only best friend! She's just the love of my life, nothing more! Damon: But I’m still the platonic love of your life, right? Will: Of course bro! Damon: Bro... Emory: What the-

--

*During Corrupt*

Rika: *angrily presses Michael against a wall* WHERE'S THE MONEY?! Michael: ... Michael: Are we about to kiss-

--

Will: Seriously, all you do is bitch. Kai: I happen to bitch the perfect amount for someone in my situation

--

Will: I think it’s time I get my life in order. Damon, narrating: But he did not get his life in order. In fact, he got drunk last night and fought a raccoon.

--

Michael, texting Winter *knowing Damon's out of town*: Any plans for tonight? Winter: No. Michael: Loser.

--

Michael: You need a hobby. Banks: I have a hobby! Michael: Hitting Will isn't a hobby.

--

Damon: You are, of course, wondering why it is I have brought you here tonight. Kai: Actually, Damon, after all these years, I just sort of go with it.

--

Rika: What is wrong with you? Damon: Loaded question. Elaborate.

--

Winter: *running into the room* Rika just said she doesn't love me anymore! Damon: What?! Rika: *following her in* I did not say that. I just said that we are not driving all the way across the country just so you can punch Michael in the face.

--

Winter: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.

--

*playing twister* Kai: Right hand red. Will: *ends up on top of Michael* Michael: You're doing this on purpose, aren't you? Kai: I stopped spinning like 15 minutes ago. Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't notice.

--

Will: I eat cheerios because they’re heart healthy. Will: And my heart has been severely damaged, so Emory, if you’re out there—

--

Will: Winter... Winter: Oh no, 'Winter' in B flat. Winter: You're disappointed.

--

Damon: Do you guys ever have a civilized conversation that doesn't require insulting each other every time you get a chance? Emory: No. Kai: No. Damon: Didn't think so.

--

Will: Are you coming to bed? Emory: I can't. This is important. Will: What? Emory: Someone is wrong on the internet.

--

Rika: Hey, Kai, are you free on Friday? Like around eight? Kai: Yeah. Rika: And you, Banks? Banks: Umm... yes? Rika: Great! Because I'm not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date! Banks: Did she just-

--

Kai: Am I going to far? Emory: No, no, no. You went too far about 7 hours ago. Now you’re going to prison.

--

Rika, acting tough: You guys don't want to mess with me. Kai: Yeah, Rika will straight up cry in public. Don't try her. Rika: Exactly, I will straight up- Rika: Rika, tearing up: Kai, why would you say that?!

--

Emory: When I die I want Kai to lower me into my grave so he can let me down one last time.

*no... i'm not bitter. what would give you that impression?*

--

Emory, pointing to Kai and Damon: Distract them! I'll be right back! *leaves* Banks: Okay! *five minutes later* Emory: *returns and sees Kai and Damon unconscious on the ground* What did you do? I said distract them, not knock them out! Banks: There's just no pleasing you sometimes.

--

Damon: You need a hobby. Will: I have a hobby! Damon: Fawning over Emory isn’t a hobby.

--

Michael: That's not funny. Damon: I thought it was funny. Michael: You don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.

--

Kidnapper: I have one of your friends. Kai: Which one? I have seven. Kidnapper: The loud, annoying, rowdy one who never shuts up. Kai: Which one? I have seven. Will, distantly: HEY!!!

--

Winter: *eating a cinnamon roll* Will: Cannibalism. Winter: *confused chewing noises*

--

Winter: If you got arrested what would be the charges? Rika Theft. Banks: Disturbing the peace. Damon: Aggravated assault. Will: Arson. Emory: All of the above. In that order, probably.

--

Banks: So what’s for dinner? Rika: I can’t tell you, it’s a soup-prise! Banks: … Banks: Is it soup? Rika: I soup-pose it could be! *winks* Banks: Please, enough with the soup puns! Rika: Wow, you’re soup-per mean. Banks: STOP! *one hour later* Banks: It’s fucking tacos?!?!?!

--

Emory: *visiting the squad* Hello, I just came to- Emory: *sees Kai shoving Michael into the washing machine while Damon records and Will watches* Emory: *retreating* Something suddenly came up.

--

Will: *cocks gun* Go to Bed. This is no longer a request, This is now a Threat.

*in my head, it's a water gun and it's em that needs to go to bed*

--

Michael: Emory, keep an eye on Will today. He's going to say something to the wrong person and get punched. Emory: Sure, I'd love to see Will getting punched. Winter: Try again. Emory, sighing: I will try to stop Will from getting punched.

--

Winter: If I say yes am I joining a cult? Banks: Possibly. Winter: I’m in.

--

Banks: Love is weakness and an evolutionary mistake. Damon: You are literally making a Valentine’s day card for Kai. Banks, pointing her hot glue gun towards Damon: You’re on thin fucking ice

--

Rika: *watching the squad's shenanigans with concern* Do you feel like this has gotten out of hand? Will: I don't know. Feels normal enough for a group that's on 911's blocked callers list.

--

Will: You’re my best friend, I would do anything for you. Damon: I want you to eat 3 meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule. Will: Absolutely not.

--

*The gang's thoughts on stabbing* Rika: Would never stab anyone. Will: Would stab someone in retaliation. Winter: Yells "I won't hesitate, bitch!" first. Banks: Would stab without warning. Emory: Would stab as a warning.

--

Banks: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.

--

Damon: *pretending to joke* So when are you going to go out with me? Winter: I don't know. When are you going to ask me to? *later* Emory: And you just ran away?! Damon: I didn't expect her to flirt back!

--

Will: I give up. I am so tired. Rika: Get the emergency supply! Michael: *carries Damon and places him in front of Will* Damon: *smiles* Will: AND I AM BACK BABY, LET’S GOOO

--

Will: Hey, babe, remember how I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up my ADHD meds? Emory: Yes? Will: Well, it turns out they're all out for the next five days. Emory: Fuck. Will: It's gonna be a fun week! Emory: I'm going to Winter 's house. Will: Nuh-uh. Through sickness and health, motherfucker

--

Will: You need to be more careful! Emory, who was dragged into Will's issue: Careful? CAREFUL?! I'LL CAREFULLY WRAP MY HANDS AROUND YOUR THROAT-

--

Will: You’ve got to learn to love yourself. Emory: But don't you hate yourself. Will: Yeah, but this is about you. Stay focused.

--

Banks: Who would you swipe right for? Kai or Rika? Damon: I would delete the app.

--

Kai: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly. Damon, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

--

Kai: Are we really going to let Banks keep Damon? Rika: We kept Winter.

--

Damon: Banks and I are so close we even share a toothbrush. Banks: We what?

--

Emory: I want a bf. Will: Do you mean best friend, boyfriend or bread feast? Because you’re being really vague here.

--

Kai: Emory... Emory: I can tell by the tone of your voice that you are disappointed. Alas, I must further disappoint you by affirming how little I give a fuck.

--

Kai: I have a problem. Damon: Kill it. Kai: Can you chill for like, two seconds?

--

Banks: Can we go to a haunted house? Damon: What’s wrong with the one we live in? Banks: Wh-what? Damon: Goodnight, Banks.

--

Banks: I hope no one lowkey hates me. Banks: Highkey hate me. Hate me with every fiber of your being. Banks: Go big or go home.

--

Will, pointing to Emory’s empty room: YOU LET THEM ESCAPE?! Damon: I WAS ON BREAK.

--

Michael: Dear Diary, my teen angst bullshit has a body count.

--

Banks: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night Michael: It was autocorrect. Banks: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."? Michael: Yes.

--

hope you had fun :)

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading update: January 2024

as long as I'm talking about The Gargoyle's Captive, let's discuss what else I've been reading this month.

Maeve Fly (CJ Leede, 2023) - I really liked this slender debut novel, which follows the titular Maeve Fly as she prowls LA like a homicidal alien, playing an unnamed ice princess in a certain theme park by day and indulging her murderous tendencies by night. Maeve is in a downward spiral; she's 27 years old and is preparing to lose her grandmother to illness and her only friend to a blossoming acting career. she sees no future for herself beyond losing the only two people she cares about and has no further goals, contenting herself with alcohol and porn while she rereads the same books, rewatches the same videos, and listens over and over to her playlist of Halloween music. Maeve is, it must be said, an abysmal loser, and I like her terrible melodrama a lot. I do think some of the hype is perhaps overstating the feminist credentials of this book; it sort of reminds me of when a college friend told me their favorite feminist movie was Suicide Squad (2016) because Harley Quinn was in it. Maeve talks a lot of big game about how women are always expected to have some tragedy to be deranged serial killers, while men are allowed to just do it, but it hit me as a little tryhard. there are a lot of books trying to be "the female American Psycho" right now - Eliza Clark's 2020 novel Boy Parts is frequently described as such - but it feels a bit too on the nose when Maeve's ultimate climactic rampage is directly inspired by a glimpse of the American Psycho novel. it's not that deep, but it is a gross, captivating read told from a fascinatingly cracked POV. check out Maeve Fly.

Laziness Does Not Exist (Devon Price, 2021) - yeah Devon Price is still following me (though my days are numbered, I'm sure) so it's a massive relief to say that I did like this book. Price has sort of become my self-help ride or die, mainly because a.) he's so much more self-aware than the average self-help writer that it feels kind of insulting to call him one and b.) he's actually dealing with topics that are relevant or interesting and providing actionable advice. while LDNE didn't engross me quite as hard as Unmasking Autism (while I am, famously, not autistic, I do believe in their beliefs, by which I mean I'm the token allistic among my close friends and I vastly prefer autistic company) it hit me hard in several unexpected pressure points. I'll happily admit that I can't relate to Price's interviewees who willingly work 50+ hours a week for jobs that hate them and are destroying their minds and bodies, but I still struggle to escape the perpetual sensation that a moment at rest is a moment wasted. It probably didn't help that I was reading this book while on vacation at my mother's, where I visited the beach almost daily and was so work-averse that we didn't even bother going grocery shopping because I didn't want to cook. and yet, despite getting dummy chill in some aspects of my life, I am still constantly possessed by a malevolent ghost insisting that I'm wasting my time and have never actually done Enough. maybe Price's next book, Unlearning Shame, will finally fix me; it's out in four days and god knows I'll be getting my hands on it as soon as humanly possible.

Patternmaster (Octavia E. Butler, 1976) - y'all know I love a messy political fantasy, and this is just... god, the absolute messiest. I thought Mind of My Mind was bad, but it turns out Mary's descendants are going to full-on reinvent feudalism with psychic powers, treating non-psychics as chattel and causing technological advancement to regress since they refuse to handle their problems with anything but psychic powers. and it's even got two brothers duking it out for the throne that will give them power over every bitchy psychic on earth! you love to see it. if I can be 100% honest I do think it's straight up bananagrams that this was the first book released in the series even though it's chronologically last; I genuinely cannot imagine caring enough to figure out what the fuck these people were talking about if I didn't have the previous four books for context. and even "context" may be generous; Octavia still has absolutely 0 interest in explaining what's up with the fucking outer space werewolves who are the psychics' #1 enemy. if I could have brunch with any person living or dead I would summon Butler up in a heartbeat to explain what the fuck her thought process was in plotting out this series over some mimosas, and I would take extensive notes on every word she said. an absolute genius and the uncontested queen of freak shit forever.

Thirsty Mermaids (Kat Leyh, 2021) - I purchased this graphic novel in November 2023 at a conference where I bumped into Queer Comics Peddler, my very favorite queer midwestern pop-up. running into them is always a delight, and this time I came with a question: could they give me a recommendation? the very nice people working offered up Thirsty Mermaids, which was the PERFECT companion for a long airplane ride. it's cute without being overly sappy, and avoids the trap of sacrificing a plot for the sake of checking off as many representation boxes as possible. the story is simple: three mermaids use a spell to turn into humans and go ashore in search of booze, only to realize in the morning that they don't know how to turn back. taken in by a generous bartender, they're faced with the reality of having to make money for the first time in their lives. hijinks ensue, but also a very sweet and warmhearted story about the friends looking out for one another as they try to figure out exactly where they belong and what home even means. also the artwork is GORGEOUS, with the mermaids' extremely memorable character designs being a real standout. if you're a graphic novel enthusiast, definitely check this out 🧜‍♀️

Sugar, Baby (Celine Saintclare, 2023) - Sugar, Baby came to me in a very similar way as Thirsty Mermaids: while visiting a witchy little bookstore that I was immediately charmed by, I asked the cashier what they would recommend. they offered up Maeve Fly (fab) and this novel, a stack of which was on the counter advertising an upcoming event with the author. neither have disappointed, so shout out to that one employee with the great taste! Sugar, Baby sees a young cleaner named Agnes, one of the only biracial women in her unnamed English town, befriending the daughter of a wealthy client and getting whisked away to her new friend's London lifestyle: crashing in an apartment with fellow models, staying out all night to party, and making money by going on dates with extravagantly wealthy older men. Agnes starts out having a swell time, but the cracks pretty swiftly start to form as she realizes how much more dependent she is on these men than her wealthy new friends and she begins to wonder exactly how much she's willing to diminish herself to get the bag. it's not a perfect first novel but it is a compelling one, a perfect airplane page-turner that crashes from glitzy to ghoulish and back with breakneck speed.

The Gargoyle's Captive (Katee Robert, 2023) - my full review is over on patreon for my darling supporters who want me dead (and picked this book in the first place, damn them to hell), but suffice to say this is a fun book to read if you like the sensation of your brain melting out of your nose, if you're really turned on by baby's first bdsm, you are not particularly concerned with trifling matters like "plot coherence" or "character motivation" or "writing that is complex and artful," and/or you've ever wanted to have sex with a dude whose penis is so big that you feel genuinely fear. also, hey, I forgot to include this in my patreon write-up so fuck it: Robert REFUSES to tell us what kind of food the protagonists are eating, ever. whenever they have a meal it's just "the food was placed on the table" "I took a bite" etc. drop me a HINT, man, come on! is it a protein? grain? starches? the only thing I know for sure that they're consuming is wine and a single marshmallow, and god does it show. it's just a very weird and distracting omission and it's absolutely not the worst thing about this book but it is a hill I'm willing to die complaining on.

[accirax]

Disventure Camp All Stars Power Ranking (Round 18)

Get in, losers, we're going to the Motel.

In case you haven't seen my previous power rankings, the Power Ranking Format is essentially a way of ranking how well each player is doing in the game. However, given that there will be no elimination this episode, we're doing something a little bit different. Instead, @venus-is-thinking and I will be discussing who we think will be rooting for who in the finale episode! There will be spoilers for last week's episode (obviously) and its power ranking, so make sure to read that first if you don't want to be spoiled on how I ranked our last boot. If you want more clarification on the rules, that first post will help you out as well. Furthermore, I'm going to be spoiling the preview for next episode, so if you want to go in TOTALLY blind, save this for later. Let's go!

Recap - Connor's Elimination

Current Score: 76 acquired/113 total

(Points versus @venus-is-thinking: 27 acquired/38 total)

Who would've thought that Grett would be the last player actually voted out of the game? Okay, I did, back when I thought that Grett would be voted out at Final 4, but not when she was voted out at Final 5! I still can't believe that it wasn't Riya.

This is another elimination I already talked a lot about in my initial thoughts, but I'm happy with when and how they chose to eliminate Connor, just unhappy about the surrounding characterization of Jake in particular. Although Connor is overall a likeable guy (barring the potential anti-union stances), from a gameplay and in-universe wealth standpoint he absolutely did not need to be in the finale. I should've counted his broken leg as more of a death flag than it was, and put him at #3 (given that it was never going to be #4).

But hey, maybe I was conditioned to believe that it wouldn't matter much after Yul also injured his foot and I talked about it for weeks for it to ultimately not matter at all! Alec, watch the fuck out for the Yellow Boy Leg Curse.

Trailer Analysis

Given that there's no elimination in this episode, I'm really just going through the trailer to point out things that I think are fun as opposed to any real game logic :D

Awww, glad to see that neither of them are too upset about their eliminations. At this point, at least.

Winners on the right, please B)

They are literally so clingy throughout this entire trailer. Love them <3

It's very interesting that this does seem to be an in-universe filmed event. I wonder what Kristal wants from all the competitors.

Okay, actually relevantly to the ranking, could this possibly be Riya's bench? I wouldn't expect that Yul would root for Riya, given that they hate each other, but it's not like Yul liked the others. And, Riya at least didn't vote for him to go home in his boot episode. It could just be an interview about Riya, but then I don't know why Fiore would be there and Grett wouldn't.

If he's out here being fatphobic again...

Ooh, it'll be fun if they take some time to explore Grett's relationship with Ellie as well as with Gabby in a post-S1 landscape! This one goes out to the GabGreLlie(?) shippers.

OLD PEOPLE DOMINATION!!!

Oh my god, I forgot they were on the same tribe at the beginning.

Hang on, is there a challenge going on this episode? If so, what for?

Lake and Ashley being friends feels so natural. I know that Ashley has already talked about having little sisters in the past, and Lake absolutely feels like she could use a supportive older sister figure. It's like Rosa...! Again.

Another classic Alec/Tom duel. I'm assuming this has something to do with the challenge-looking thing that's going on?

This too, maybe? I'd say that Hunter was somehow helping Emily and Trevor with their plan to ruin the show, but Hunter should have no incentive to end Disventure Camp, especially when his girlfriend is in the finale.

"Daaaaaaamn, that's good shiiiiiit." "AAH! Kristal! Were you spying on us?"

Tom's feet, for free? (/j) On a more serious note, they're probably saying something heartfelt about Jake here.

"Power Ranking"

Following Venus' suggestion, I'm going to rank my people in terms of how confident I am in which bench they'll be on! It'll have no effect on my score-- we're scoring this round separate from the main competition, and even so it'll be a simple 1 or 0 points for if you get it right-- but it'll probably make the flow of the rankings better.

#1: Miriam - Jake's Bench

I see literally no reason why Miriam would be on the bench of anyone other than Jake. They're super close, with Miriam essentially having adopted Jake as her grandson. The only possible argument to the contrary would be if Miriam rooted for Riya in support of the Yellow Team, but Riya literally voted her out, sooo...

#2: Tess - Ally's Bench

(I know that Ally was on the Magenta Team and not the Cyan team, but Ally has an overall blue palette, so she gets blue.)

Similarly, I see no reason why Tess wouldn't root for Ally. The whole reason why she came to play again was to spend time with Ally and Hunter, and even if she didn't get to do that as much as she would've liked, she can at least show Ally her support by rooting for her in the finals.

The only path I see to Tess not rooting for Ally would be if Hunter decided that he was too mad at Ally to root for her, and Tess decided to join him in solidarity. However...

#3: Hunter - Ally's Bench

Let's be realistic. You don't say "we'll always support you 100%" or whatever Hunter and Tess said to Ally in the comeback episode and then choose to be petty and root for... Jake, I guess? When she actually makes the finals. Rooting for Jake specifically would just be fucking cruel. Double damage fr.

Also, Venus and I have been talking about potential scenarios for who the finalists might be able to choose to help them in the finale. There are pretty much four scenarios we've discussed:

Each finalist chooses one former competitor to help them, like what happened in Seasons 1 and 2.

Each finalist chooses two former competitors to help them, evocative of how this season has more competitors.

Each finalist chooses two former competitors to help them, but there has to be one from Season 1 and one from Season 2, to celebrate both seasons equally.

Everyone will be able to lend a helping hand to their finalist of choice.

In any of those scenarios, I think that Hunter will be helping Ally in the finale. He is her literal boyfriend, the person who should be closest to her, and he's really good at challenges. Tess will also likely help Ally in case of #2. That would be a nice way to pay off her finally getting to spend time with the two of them together!

#4: Tom - Jake's Bench

The only reasons why Tom isn't higher up on this list are just because 1) the other three are so obvious, and 2) Tom and Jake are still sort of in a weird zone. However, it's not like Tom has any reason to root for Ally or Riya pretty much at all. If he chose to sit on either of their benches, he could pretty much kiss any chance of a future relationship with Jake goodbye. Or, perhaps "not kiss" is more fitting to the circumstances.

I also find it pretty likely that Tom will help Jake in the finale. His greatest competitor for Jake's hand is Ashley, who's also a strong physical competitor from Season 1. However, Tom is basically a lock for Jake's bench, while Ashley still may wind up supporting Ally. Plus, I feel like the writers (and some of the fans) would love to have Tom support Jake, especially if it winds up leading Jake to a win. Regardless, I have high confidence that Tom will be rooting for Jake.

#5: Aiden - Jake's Bench

Although Aiden and Jake obviously didn't start this season on the best terms, by the end, they became really good friends. Plus, it's not like Aiden is rooting for Riya, and I can't really see why he'd root for Ally either. Especially when Ally was the one who flipped to take him out of the game.

Aiden has the most likelihood of being on Jake's finale team if Jake is forced to pick one Season 1 character and one Season 2 character, although it's possible he could even make the team in a vacuum if Ashley is on Ally's team. A Jake/Tom/Aiden teamup is possibly even more appealing than just a Jake/Tom teamup. This is the last one that I think has almost 100% chance of success.

#6: Lake - Jake's Bench

While Lake and Jake didn't interact pretty much at all in the main season, there have certainly been seeds sown to lay the groundwork for Lake supporting Jake in the end. Most importantly, she was the one advocating to Aiden that Jake deserved a second chance, citing that she saw a lot of herself in Jake. We also had Lake and Jake form a quick connection in the premiere with Jake saying that he enjoyed Lake's writing. That feels like it could have been put in there intentionally to preemptively explain why they would gravitate towards one another.

Also, with no Cyan players remaining, I wouldn't be surprised if Lake is essentially just here to support whoever Aiden chooses to support, which I expect to be Jake. As the cherry on top, she's shown hanging out with Ashley a lot in the trailer, who is very pro-Jake even if she doesn't ultimately wind up on his bench. I find this to be pretty likely.

#7: Grett - Ally's Bench

Although Gabby and Riya worked together for much of the game, I expect that Grett will still be on her "no forgiveness for Riya for voting with Yul" grind, and therefore not be on Riya's bench. And, similarly, while she did wind up working with Jake near the end of the game, she was working with Ally for longer and more closely. Both Jake and Ally wound up uniting to take Grett out, so I think that lands Grett pretty solidly in Ally's camp.

I could also see that they had Grett clarify that she held no ill will towards Ally in her elimination just to make it clear that Grett didn't feel at all betrayed by her. As one of the strongest players of the season, Grett would also make a great assistant to Ally's team, should she choose to accept it. Just watch out that you don't get out-sabotaged again this time, Grett...

#8: Gabby - Ally's Bench

Gabby is mostly here to hang out with Grett. If Grett is taking a no-Riya stance, Gabby would support her all the way. It's possible that she could wind up on Jake's bench through Tom/to support a S1 player, but... that feels like it's valuing Gabby's relationship with Tom over her relationship with Grett, which was not the moral of this season. I just have to be right that Grett would choose to support Ally!

Please let me be right that Grett would choose to support Ally.

#9: Connor - Riya's Bench

Okay, let me preface this by saying that I do NOT think that Connor has once again relapsed into his Riya simp phase to genuinely support her. I think that the twinge of pain he gets any time he moves his ankle would be enough to remind him that that's a terrible idea. I simply think that Connor will join Riya's bench for strategic purposes. There are a lot of strong reasons why sitting on Riya's bench is the optimal choice for Connor.

Number 1: choosing between whether to sit on Ally or Jake's bench could have disastrous results at this point. If he chooses to directly support one of Ally or Jake over the other, it might make it more difficult for them to work together. The safest move is to remove himself from that fight entirely, and choose Riya to NOT choose Jake or Ally.

Number 2: Seeing Connor on Riya's bench could give Riya some sort of psychic damage, whether it's Season 2 loser flashbacks or through confusion as to why Connor is "still there stanning her." You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

Number 3: This gives Connor the opportunity to be an anti-helper for Riya. If Riya's bench is mostly unoccupied, then she may be forced to select Connor as her assistant. Even beyond any deliberate sabotage he tries to throw her way, forcing her to wait while he hobbles behind on his broken leg could eat up a lot of time. It would all be deliciously karmic, especially as a bookend to Connor's arc by having him defeat Riya by deliberately screwing up her endgame, again.

#10: Ellie - Ally's Bench

Gabby is here for Grett, and Ellie is here for Gabby. I know that Ellie and Ally have had, like, negative amounts of screentime together, unless you count every time I've mixed up which name various other characters were saying. But otherwise, like, who else?

No way in hell Ellie is rooting for Jake; she's the OG Jake hater and nothing this season has changed that. I did initially think that Ellie could support Riya as a fellow villainous winner, but would she really value a member of the alliance that almost drove her and her girlfriend apart that she hardly talked to over hanging out with said girlfriend and supporting a young artist who needs the money to support her career? I think not.

Please let me be right that Grett would decide to support Ally so that I'm also right that Gabby would decide to support Ally.

#11: Alec - Riya's Bench

Given how, uh, terribly these two's relationship ended, it may come as somewhat of a surprise that I think that Alec would still "root for" Riya in the end. However, Alec and Riya just had such a connection this season that I feel like it would be wrong if he didn't wind up tied to her in the end somehow. Then again, he didn't wind up rooting for Fiore in the Season 1 finale, so maybe he will just pick, like, Jake or whatever at random.

I'm more confident that Alec would be on Riya's bench in the case that Riya needs two assistants, S1+S2 specific or not. I could totally see Alec and Connor conspiring together to be the only two assistants available to Riya, so that no matter who she chooses she's going to get someone who's actively working against her. The plan still works if she only needs one assistant, obviously, but I think it packs more of a narrative punch if Alec and Connor could do it together.

#12: Ashley - Jake's Bench

So, obviously Ashley is going to pick either Jake or Ally, and she's only this low down because it's a little tricky to figure out which one of them it is. You might be surprised to see that I ultimately decided to have her pick Jake based on the way I wrote this post, but the truth is that I wrote the post that way because initially, I also thought that I was going to have Ashley pick Ally.

That was because, under the possibility of S1+S2 helpers, I didn't really see who Ally could possibly pick up from S1 other than Ashley. However, that specific scenario is dubious enough as is, and once I realized that Grett could fill that S1 slot for Ally, Ashley felt a lot less locked down. I could also see that (in the S1+S2 situation), if Jake picks Tom really quickly, Ashley could volunteer to join Ally's team from Jake's bench, swapping sides like Rosa did to support James. (Because you can never pass on an opportunity to make Ashley Rosa.)

I just feel like, after making such a statement to Jake about being proud of him and wanting him to succeed, and after them working together in the comeback challenge, it would be really weird for her to not wind up on Jake's bench in the end. Plus, Ashley was Jake's friend first. Those are just the facts.

#13: James - Jake's Bench

Much like Ashley, James winds up this low because I can't tell whether he would root for Ally or Jake. It's not going to be Riya. Obviously.

The argument for Ally is that I feel like the writers have been... lowkey pushing that Ally and James are closer than I at least thought they were? When the Magenta team initially formed, he seemed really excited to be on the same team as Ally and Hunter, saying that the team was stacked. Also, in this greeting from about two months ago, James said that he was rooting for Aiden or Ally to win. Of course, that was from a while ago in the competition, so James' opinions might have changed. But, if he sticks to his word, he would be rooting for Ally.

However... is he really going to pass up the opportunity to sit with Aiden AND Lake just to support Ally? Notably, I do think that greeting may have been from before Aiden and Jake became friends, and I can believe James rooting for Jake much more if he's doing it through the lens of supporting Aiden's friend. I also don't know how James feels about Ally's descent into villainy. As someone who became more heroic over the course of his season, I could see James being disappointed (on the level of being a friend, not just in her "character development") in what Ally has been doing, and not want to support that behavior.

Also, we see James hanging out with Ashley, Lake, and Miriam in that one scene, who are all people who I, at least, have determined will be supporting Jake in the finale. To the extent that the former campers have already determined who they're rooting for and have sorted themselves into factions because of it, that may be an indication that James will be repping Jake.

#14: Yul - Riya's Bench

"Seriously? You're making me pair with curry girl?! Gross!" That's my Yul impression. I don't like it either, Yul, but you don't like anyone and nobody likes you. Thus, my only real lead is that Yul would want to support a villain winner, bolstered by that scene of him sitting for an interview with Connor, Alec, and Fiore.

Yul also did wind up rooting for Riya in the Final 2 of Season 2 eventually, although he initially supported... Aiden? In the Final 3? Wait, I totally forgot that Yul ever supported Aiden. You really threw your support towards our GT king, Yul? Anyways. He does have a past history of rooting for Riya, although their relationship probably got worse throughout the course of All Stars. I really don't know with Yul.

#15: Fiore - Riya's Bench

As I described to Venus, Fiore is really tricky because she has, like, a 2/5 good reason to support any one of these people in the finale.

Jake is from her season and the one she was trying to appeal to, but he's also an idiot and didn't side with her in the end. Ally was trying to protect Fiore from Hunter, at least, but they never became particularly close, and Fiore left the game throwing her under the bus. Riya is a villainous #slayqueen that was once close with Alec, but she also left Alec much worse for wear and screwed Fiore over in that one challenge to win the reward. I don't think Fiore will be particularly happy with rooting for any of these finalists.

Thus, I think that Fiore will probably just be hanging out with Alec, who I've pegged as supporting Riya. I could also see her stanning Riya as a statement about wanting villains to win, much like Yul could, and to further complain about how more people should have helped her in the Season 1 finale.

It might seem like putting Yul and Fiore on Riya's bench would ruin Connor and Alec's plans, but I don't really think it does. First of all, for Fiore at least, if she's united with Alec, Fiore might be another rotten pick for Riya. And, even if she would genuinely help Riya to win, Alec and Connor being two terrible choices for Riya's team only further forces her to work with Fiore (a child) and Yul (Yul). Those are also terrible teammates! Riya can be taken down by her own lack of a social game in either situation.

And that's everyone! Here's how I've laid out the teams, ordered in terms of how likely it is that I think they could be an assistant to whoever they're supporting (which sort of crosses over with how confident I am that they'll be there):

Jake: Tom - Ashley - Aiden - Miriam - Lake - James

Ally: Hunter - Tess - Grett - Gabby - Ellie

Riya: Connor - Alec - Yul - Fiore

I guess, in the end, the teams wound up pretty even, with one extra person for Jake and one person missing for Riya. I kinda thought that Ally would have fewer, but picking up the Grett/Gabby/Ellie trio does a lot.

This was a really fun and unique power ranking to write, so I hope you had as much fun reading it as I did writing it! I feel like DCAS has been at its best when it has the most of its characters in the episode at once, so let's hope that this is another fire episode. And, no matter what, my overall score ain't gettin' any worse!

[kob131]

Lily Orchard and Pokemon: Gen 2

Gen 1

"How did GF manage to fit all of this into a Gameboy? Simple, they had Satoru Iwata do it!"

False.

Satoru Iwata's contributions were him writing a formula to help cut fractions of a second off the numerous load times in the game, like with trainer battles, wild Pokemon and probably stuff like loading in cities. The real reason why Kanto made it was because, quite simply- they had double the space.

Kind of goes to show how much of a basic Pokemon fan Lily is, considering people slightly more informed like me found this out. A limited view that goes onto explaining some of her questionable points, like the Psychic type not being that busted.

But hey, at least it's not offensive terri-

"The games start becoming more directed and firm in their pacing!"

... Really? Now of all times you bring up that idea?

That doesn't even work here. Gold and Silver's tutorial opening may take a few minutes more due to having to go farther and slightly more text but that's likely because GSC has an actual plot and characters to set up. You know, stuff that someone who cares more about the main gameplay rather than features would probably like as it engages the brain more?

I get that Lily doesn't like Pokemon's stories but this stuff isn't very much and it helps make the game more memorable and engaging.

... You know, I honestly thought the follow up would have been worse.

"Silver is an uninteresting rival! He's just edgy and a punk bitch who slags everyone off while getting beat up! He's just an ignorant loser, like Hop!"

Like that. So much worse like that.

A- Silver isn't just an edgy and arrogant kid. He starts this way but becomes better over time, developing from being beaten by Lance and the player so much. Compare his line in his second fight in Azalea Town-

"I hate the weak. Pokémon, Trainers. It doesn't matter who or what. I hate to see them hanging around. That goes for Team Rocket, too. They think they are big and tough as long as they are in a group. But get them alone, and they're weak. I hate them all. You stay out of my way. You won't be an exception if you get in my way."

To his final line.

"…Oh, no… I still can't win after all that training… I…I have to believe more in my Pokémon… …No big deal. Sorry to have got in the way. Don't forget to rest your Pokémon before you challenge the Champion!"

In fact, Silver is the FIRST rival to actually react properly to being constantly beaten by the player, much like Hop.

B- Does Lily's complaints sound...familiar to anyone? As if these complaints do in fact fit a Pokemon Rival...but not Silver?

It should- This applies to BLUE, not Silver. Since, by necessity, Blue WILL lose more to the player than win. And yet he will always brush off his losses and act superior even as the game.

In fact, take his loss line in Oak's Lab-

"WHAT? Unbelievable! I picked the wrong Pokémon!"

To his loss line at the Pokemon League as Champion.

"NO! That can't be! You beat my best! After all that work to become League champ? My reign is over already? It's not fair!"

Lily's point about Blue before and why she liked him kind of contradicts her slagging off Silver...for the same shit Blue pulls but without the context that he's SUPPOSED to be wrong.

"Falkner's gym was kind of a pushover. yeah I nearly fainted but I didn't lose-"

You almost lost. ...To Falknier Lily.

Falkner...regarded as being one of the top 10 easiest Gym Leaders in Pokemon. ... How did you look at that and not go 'Damn, maybe I should change my strats.'

Like, this WILL undercut any points about Pokemon's gameplay and difficulty because it's coming from someone who nearly lost to FALKNER. A guy I beat at age 7.

"Team Rocket's so pathetic in Gen 2. In Gen 1, they were a legit criminal orgnazation and fun but now they're just pathetic."

And here's the problem that's likely gonna rear its ugly head in any Gen with half a story: Lily's not paying attention. Team Rocket is MEANT to be pathetic and lost without Giovanni. Because they are clinging to the past and refusing to move on with their lives even as the world does so. This gets hammered home pretty hard given the changes to the world introduced in Gen 2, like Lance becoming the Champion or through characters like Silver letting his daddy issues define him.

That's the point Lily. Complaining that they're boring because they've changed from before in order to fit a new story isn't analysis, it's just you mouthing off.

"Hey, isn't it funny that I tried using Mud-Slap twice in a row even though it didn't fucking work the first time and almost got wiped by Bugsy? I'm such a bimbo!"

Funny yes but more in a 'public humiliation' way. Joking about almost being beaten by a children's game does not make it better: you're still claiming to analyze these games.

"SILVER WORST RIVAL EVAR! BLUE GOOD BECAUSE FRIENDLY AND DYNAMIC! SILVER BAD BECAUSE ANNOTING! HE NO CHANGE UNLESS YOU LOOK! YOU LIKE EMOS!"

That or Silver is well liked because he was the first rival to have an actual arc in the games. It isn't optional either, Silver starts to realize he was wrong in his Victory Road fight, which is mandatory. And it's a logical progress from losing to the player and Lance, reinforced by the sage from Sprout Tower. As much as you bitch about the games' stories being invasive, Silver is an example of the game showcasing a natural progression in character without using a thousand words.

Meanwhile, Blue is the one slagging you off after every fight even as you have to beat him and then proceeding to throw a fit when he loses.

You don't pay attention Lily.

"Silber and Hop are fundamentally the same character!"

So...your point is that Silver is fundamentally the same...as one of the best rivals in the series?

Not the own you think it is.

I mean, she's correct since what Hop does in SWSH is just a more detailed, expressive and in depth version of what Silver does just more on the softer end. But Lily's too blinded to see it.

"Imma go ahead and ignore all the daily events in Goldenrod because WoW!"

Again, Lily telling on herself on how badly she's handling this video. The past 30 minutes could have been compressed down to 8 and nothing of value would be lost. Hell, cutting out Lily's reasonings and leaving people to insert their own explanations would actually make the video better.

Not a good sign.

"Johto's level curve isn't a problem! You can just go rematch trainers, it's intended! These games weren't meant for internet reviewers focused on progress, they're focused on kids!"

Yeah, Lily?

That bit about kids PROVES the issue with Johto, not debunk it. Because a kid might explore the rematches- it's far more likely that the kid is gonna want to keep moving forward and see new things and not back track for the sake of refighting the same guys with lowsy teams and just as little EXP as the wild Pokemon.

A kid is also gonna wanna catch new Pokemon and try them out-And the new Pokemon just got KO'd because it was so underleveled it's general stats aren't enough to face the trainers ahead. Now the kid is probably just gonna stick to the starter, one or two Route 1 Pokemon, the Red Gyrados (which is at least somewhat appropriately leveled) and the legendary. Oops.

I could also talk about how a good level curve in Pokemon aids in the feeling of growing stronger while providing something stimulating to the player to engage them in story, making each victory feel like a logical progression due to previous one but I doubt Lily would even understand what I'm talking about.

"Why do all the gyms in this game have some kind of side-quest?!"

Story and worldbuilding to make the core gameplay more interesting and engaging. It shows that the Gym Leaders are people who interact with their community. It's something to supplement the core gameplay you're supposedly focusing on.

"Oh shit! Chuck's Gym requires the Strength HM!"

Hey Lily, remember when you were complaining about people bitching on about HMs? You think maybe shit like this, creating unnecessary roadblocks that require restricting a player's self-expression and choice, might just factor into their complaints.

*Lily uses a Butterfree's Psychic on a Primeape, knocks off only 40% of the Pokemon's HP*

You know, Lily. If you made a habit of questioning yourself and your opinions- now would be the time where you would think back to the statement about 'Butterfree not being considered good because no STAB is stupid because coverage!' and admit there might be a point. You can still use Butterfree while admitting it's something of a handicap.

If you're observant, you will also notice that Lily's team is slightly below Chuck's in Level and that she wins her fight using battle items instead of, I dunno- engaging in those rematches she said negated the criticisms of Johto's level curve to train up her Pokemon.

"Ugh! The level curve in Johto is so awfu-"

Wait.

Lily. Didn't you DEFEND the level curve in Johto or at least try debunking this idea behind the game not having enough EXP earlier by talking about the rematches, talking about kids just rematching as they go back to explore unlike Youtubers? Which you are now admitting is 'extremely inelegant and forces you to wait' which...debunks your own view?

... This is a DIRECT contradiction of your stance from before. This is why you question yourself: you find contradictions in that self reflection.

"Johto's distribution of Pokemon suck! You can't even catch Houndour, Misdreavus and Larvitar until the post game! It's shitty because if you like these Pokemon, you can't catch them! It doesn't make them more valuable- just less fun!"

God damn it.

1-Lily, gating Pokemon out is not inherently a bad idea. Locking say...the pseudo-legendary into near the end of the game isn't a bad idea. That way you can't just power level one Pokemon into one of the strongest possible.

2-I do agree with Lily on this instance though. Johto locking away three of their new families of Pokemon behind KANTO is fucking insane. But issue here is that Lily just says they're locked behind the post game and just ends there, without giving context to why this is a problem. So- I'll do her job FOR her.

Let's start with the weakest one- Houndour. You catch this Pokemon at Route 7 (between Celadon and Saffron) in Kanto at Night. Seems like a good placement, since Houndour's type (Fire/Dark) counters the two nearby Gyms (Erika and Sabrina). Problem.

Houndour is caught at a max level of 18. Sabrina and Erika's teams average Level 48 and 44 respectively. There's no Trainers on this route either. Same with Murkrow btw.

Larvitar you catch at MT. SILVER (aka WHERE RED IS) at Level 20...at a 9% catch rate...right before Red. And Larvitar is a pseudo-legendary btw, so it levels up SLOWER than normal. Similar to Misdreavus, except it CAN'T evolve to get better.

And it's not like there aren't better options. Umbreon can be gotten as early as Level 21 by the fourth Gym Badge to cover Dark. Growlithe and Vulpix at Level 13 on ROute 36 as soon as Whitney to cover Fire. Geodude as early as ROCK CAVE for Rock. And Ghastly as soon as Sprout Tower. And many of these Pokemon are or become better than their counterparts so you have NO incentive to switch out Pokemon in your likely finalized team for newer, likely weaker Pokemon that you need to train up.

This summarizes the issue with Johto- the Pokemon MADE for Johto don't get to shine and the level curve makes adding new Pokemon pretty fucking shitty.

"Only pathetic shits think Shinies have any value!"

Lily, you are comparing locking off new Pokemon to a post game where they can't be effective to...an aesthetic change.

Move on. Also we get it with the capitalist dig- You want a social system that would have killed you off long ago.

"It's wrong to lock off Pokemon! See, this difficulty ROM Hack has so many!"

Yeah, DIFFICULTY ROM HACK Lily. As in, a hack of an already finished game that ends up tweaking certain aspects to increase difficulty likely for experience, adult Pokemon players. But for the ACTUAL Pokemon games- they have to be built for the new, casual or more relaxed fans as well.

Shoving a bunch of Pokemon into a single route, dropping multiple encounter rates down as low as 5% just to cram in as many Pokemon as possible is just gonna tire those poeple out as they search for every Pokemon possible. Even I, someone who likes Pokemon fan games, don't really like it when they try cramming 15 Pokemon into one Route just to accommodate them all because it feels like a slog trying to get one specific Pokemon I like that likely isn't even good enough to justify this. I would like all Pokemon catchable in a game (hence why I like the DLCs- they let you catch everything they add) but it would require so much effort to actually do that it's not feasible for Pokemon's release schedule.

Also all those Pokemon are available because it's balance out the difficulty with variety and the ability to EV train early. Most people still don't know how EVs, IVs and Natures work Lily. Most people wouldn't like this level of difficulty. Case and point: SMT has far less complexity and thus can be understood more easily yet it's difficulty, despite being easier to adjust to, is a turn off by itself.

"Pokemon games should give you all this variety so you can make unique and varied teams each game!"

Really Lily? You think having a bunch of Pokemon available at the start will allow you to use varied teams every game?

Because in practice, due to players valuing efficency- They will likely centralize around six extremely good Pokemon that synergize together to steam roll through the game. Limiting Pokemon helps CREATE variety by gate keeping strong Pokemon until the challenge matches up with them while you use weaker Pokemon as they were given a chance. It's probably why you like Butterfree so much: You used Butterfree as a kid and blowed through the early game with it and got attached. This likely wouldn't have happened if you had access to, say, Scyther instead.

Also, kind of funny you go off about making varied and unique teams when A. You started this rant talking about the cruelty of gatekeeping Pokemon so people who love them can't use them (thus forcing them to use different Pokemon) and B. we already know from your earlier Butterfree rant that you're gonna be using the EXACT SAME TEAM in each game.

Practice what you preach.

"People talk up the newer villains like Cyrus and N and the bigger plots but they suck!"

Lily. You couldn't even get Blue right.

Your opinion on the story means nothing.

"Mahagony Gym makes you take the path that faces you against the most Gym Trainers and that's bad! But the Gym is like an endurance test and that's good!"

So the gym making you fight trainers rapidly before facing the boss is bad...while also being good because it's an endurance test?

Proofread your scripts.

"Ice Cave is great because there's barely any trainers and there's little to no random encounters!"

Look I get that random encounters are annoying when you can't control them and Trainers can be tedious if you wish to get to your destination but...come on Lily. Battling is the main gameplay loop.

"I beat Silver and he doubles down-"

"…I couldn't win… I gave it everything I had… What you possess, and what I lack… I'm beginning to understand what that dragon master said to me…"

He doesn't.

And that ends Lily's view of Johto. Yes, she doesn't tackle Kanto or Red. Pretty sure she hates playing post games. Probably why she bashes Gen 5 so much.

Now for Gen 3. Which she calls the one with 'her favorite characters, best story and most beautiful locales in the series.'

... And I really hate Gen 3. Yay...

[zoobus]

I Shall Master this Family! is a rare princess story where the art is like, outrageously skilled, unique in its consistent level of detail, unreal historical fashion dedication, so much so that it successfully carries what's an overall mid story. You might notice that it's a mid story (I certainly have) but they throw you another sumptuous princess Guinevere sleeves and you're goaded into another chapter.

Normally this isn't enough. If anything I've found too good art highlights bad writing, thoughts wandering to how the artist(s) deserves better than the slog they're supporting.

But I'm stuck with this annoying isekai girl ignoring all the more emotionally intriguing subplots in favor of chapter upon chapter of isekai-based ego-stroking (can you believe this little kid came up with this brilliant business plan? Can you believe a 9yo identified the genius of a commoner? It's like she knows everything before it happens! Lay it on thicker!) because a) artist team that can conceptualize adults over 30??? b) artist team that draws old women??? Real ones???

b2) men too though it's more impressive that they drew a beard like they've actually seen a beard before. Old guys are common but distinguished and healthy looking ones less so

c) you can tell this is based on a historical fashion because nobody invents cultural male-garb unless they're meant to be eroticized. I can't think of another story where any real attention was put into what the guys are wearing unless cleavage was involved

I don't know if I even care for the fashion itself - that there's conspicuous effort into its portrayal puts it in a class of its own. Everyone else is satisfied with the certified male love interest paizuri shirts, cravats with medievallish suits, and generic npc peasantwear.

d) I don't know how many times I've given up on a comic because the artist had a fetish for blondes, making it nigh impossible to tell anyone apart. This story takes place in a Scots-inspired land, so a sizable chunk of the cast are redheads and the endless shades of red and curl textures never gets old. I like that blondes are still sort of gingery and shout out to the colorist for not being weak, blue-eyed apologist.

It came far too late but I finally understood why Shananet fell for this loser's act when he whipped out the brown/blonde puppy combo. Wish the writers were capable of juggling plots so we could have seen more of it.

I'll have to get into it in another post but the writing flaws are grating in a skill issue way, maybe too much ambition that should have been scaled back. For example writing men as being generally less substantial, more hysterical, while making women intelligent, well-rounded, characters with depth of various alliances only works if your story focuses on the latter. If you give me cold, calculating ice queen, I won't be satisfied with the plot spending more time on the dumbass loser 30-something eldest son throwing tantrums when his stupid plans fail. Likewise, how do you think it feels learning that the cool-headed, clever woman who gave up on potentially taking over the clan for a worldwind romance was played for a simp by her (quite obviously) less intelligent husband who doesn't even hide his seething hate for her family well? It makes everyone look like a clown. Writing structure crit imminent

It's a shame but unfortunately I like the way it looks too much to drop it😔

[witheredoffherwitch]

If you had the chance to change something about the dance of the dragons (TV show or book), what would it be? For example, how a character dies, which team a house is on,or an entire character personally. How would you change it to make the story better, in your opinion?♥️🖤💙💚

Hi nonnie 🤗

I've seen this question answered by a few of my moots, but I tried my best to avoid reading their answers 🙈 Overall, I prefer the show adaptation over what we got from F&B. I know this may not be a popular opinion on this platform, but I believe the characters are much more developed in HoTD. However, that doesn't mean the show is perfect. In fact, there are some BIG inconsistencies and ridiculous dialogues that take away from the seriousness of the story. While reading F&B, I couldn't give two shits about any of the Targaryens (whether they were on Team Black or Team Green). The only ones who slightly intrigued me were the side characters like Alys, Nettles, Addam Velaryon, or even Mysaria. Surprisingly, I actually thought the aftermath of the Dance was a positive thing since it meant the end of dragons and an opportunity for equal footing in Westeros. If I had to choose a favourite Targaryen from the Dance era in the books, I would have probably picked Rhaenys. Now it's quite funny because after watching season 1, I can't stand her character anymore 😭

BUT the show has me fully invested in characters like Alicent, Aemond, Aegon and Rhaenyra. Although I still don't have a strong team bias, I am still heavily invested in TG characters more than any of the TB ones. Out of the TB characters, only Rhaenyra keeps me intrigued while I have a strong desire to learn more about Jace and the twins.

Now if I had to make one change in the show, it would be Corlys' character. In the books, Corlys Velaryon read like a larger-than-life figure who is just as competent and dangerous as he is prideful. But in the show, he comes across as such a loser. My man is basically a glorified cuckold at this point in the story. His blind loyalty to Rhaenyra becomes nonsensical when considering how much his family suffers at her expense. If it's his granddaughters forcing his allegiance, then at least let him play a stronger role or have some kind of bargaining power instead of blindly following Rhaenyra like a pathetic loser. Knowing how his story unfolds in the books, it's unlikely that he will be remembered as a strategic mastermind or even a winner considering how many L’s he takes throughout his journey.

I'm not too bothered by the rest of the story, as my loyalty lies not with any specific team or group, but with the characters who all meet a painful end. I find satisfaction in the pyrrhic victory (if you can even call it that) of Dance's conclusion. I have made a post before, in case you are interested in checking it out. The continuation of Aegon III's storyline after Aegon II’s death adds an interesting dynamic as the victors must now recognise their own queen's usurper as the rightful claimant to the throne. The dance ultimately destroyed House Targaryen and set them on a path of decline. It was a lose-lose situation for all of the inbred blondes who had long boasted about their supposed superiority as descendants of Valyria - but it also spelt victory for the other lords who could now breathe easier without the looming threat of formidable dragons.

[aseriesofunfortunatejan]

Hoodlum's flashback(s)

I'm supposed to be studying the economy so you know I stopped everything to buy Chapter 45 instead.

In Chapter 45, right as he learned that Doctor was responsible for Brawler's death (ouch, by the way), Hoodlum has a manga-exclusive flashback to a conversation he had with the guy he liked.

Sorry, I meant Brawler. Hoodlum asks him if he has a bucket list, being that they're wearing bomb collars and all.

(All the while Pupil is begging Junior not to kill himself, but that's not important.) Read more included because I feel compassionate towards the poor souls who didn't watch Akudama Drive.

Putting aside that Hoodlum said the exact same thing I did (!!!), Brawler apparently spoiled his last wish to Hoodlum ahead of time. Rude.

I'll be honest, this is a "meh" narrative choice to me. Of course, this is thankfully only shown as a late flashback, and doesn't take away from the reader's discovery of Brawler's arc, but as far as Hoodlum's feelings about Brawler, I think like this cheapens Episode 6 quite a lot.

Most important, it cheapens Hoodlum's famous gay realisation moment. What's there for his mind to go blank about if Brawler had already told him he felt this way? It's not that hot, he already enjoyed it the one time and had a cute, but not so strong reaction.

By all means, this above should have been in the flashback. If it took that long for Hoodlum to click what kind of person Brawler was when he actively told him some time before Episode 6, then my man is a bonafide idiot!!!!

In any case, I have to admit this is absolutely adorable. It's just... (Thinks about Shikoku Arc) (clenches fist) maybe writing isn't Rokurou Ogaki's strong suit... (my long nails dig a hole inside my palm)

Here goes my take that Hoodlum didn't quite understand what was happening, I guess. It seems it was actually the exact opposite, which is fair.

Regardless, as much as I think this flashback cheapens Hoodlum's reaction both to Brawler being really hot and to Brawler being really cold dead, this flashback is used very well within Chapter 45.

Although I believe that Hoodlum could (and did, as far as the anime went) come to this conclusion by himself, this memory of Brawler's last wish informs his decision to attack Doctor.

He actually has a second flashback right then. The guy has been through a lot!

I know someone whose fanfiction has gotten slightly invalidated by this admittedly late translation, but isn't the manga low-key Rokurou Ogaki's own fanfiction itself anyway?

It's fine, staff, she's just "gender unknown", so you can't justify taking this down.

Hoodlum recalls Doctor teaching him where the carotid artery is. This is actually a pretty interesting flashback - I can't say I would have guessed that's when she taught him that, but it makes sense coming from her. (That being said - what are they doing???? What's happening to you my man??? Are you into it? Why are you under the covers? Everyone knew your ass wasn't on top during that scene, but in any case, why is this happening to you? How did this come about? RUN!)

Loser has never "cut a carotid artery" before 🙄

For all his flaws, Rokurou Ogaki's flashbacks are worked very well into the narration. The two next panels are a perfect mirror of each other. (It's unclear whether the first panel takes place in the flashback or the present, but I don't think it should matter.)

As a hommage to what he and Brawler both did in the first flashback, Hoodlum flicks his thumb in a (bloody) thumbs up.

He then thinks to himself: "There's nothing better… than… fighting against… someone… stronger… than you…" (B-Bro…) He remembers his love intere- bro's smile one last time before dying.

A very sweet, interesting interpretation. This remains a little too on the nose to my taste - but it is interesting nonetheless. Hoodlum ended up learning the same bad lesson as Brawler. (Grandpa claims another soul.) This makes sense, since Brawler is someone he wanted influence from, contrary to Doctor, who forced herself upon him - using Brawler's memory to fight back against Doctor, especially since he's avenging him, ties the story together beautifully.

It's mostly the Brawler flashback I take issue with - I think it really serves the narration better if Hoodlum comes to this conclusion with less literal clues, in "Episode 6". As far as the narration of Chapter 45 of the manga goes, though, this is beautiful. Fuck you, Doctor. But I understand your tastes.

[darlingpwease]

i love the way you write shi mei, need some more of that <3 also YESSS, you are so right. i see ppl hating on shi mei but it is the whole point cause he IS a villain and a GOOD and UNIQUE one. the fandom needs to appreciate him moreee. and the fact that he would actually be rather manipulative and slip into your mind easily with his beauty and fragility. AHHHHH

ehehehe,,,,,,, thank you<33333 yes!!! shi mei is literally the embodiment of the "dark messiah" trope; he does it all so that his kind is spared from suffering and finally returned to hell after centuries of abduction, raising like cattle, cannibalism and rape, along with the inability to resist it, because they are inhumanly beautiful, almost as weak and their flesh is useful. but for some reason - maybe it's my bad luck - I so rarely see people react to him as I expect them to react, seeing a good and unique villain, who then also was self-rehabilitated as a wandering doctor who heals others, including with the help of his flesh. like??? what confuses you??? is he too hot for you??? loser behavior; my little woof woof is the best boy.

but!!! when SHI MEI specially catches the moments when you feel emotionally vulnerable and gently "wraps" you with words and questions, smiling affectionately, like a heavenly fairy descending to earth, before sitting down next to you, instantly emotionally adjusting to you; he is so perfect, you can't believe you ever lived you can't imagine living without him, — it's so good to be with him, especially when he understands from a half-breath what you feel and makes you feel so... full, complete, and his warm, like spring rain, words are absorbed by you as the earth absorbs water. you are not surprised that his element is water — SHI MEI himself is like water, gentle and soothing, always understanding and enveloping that you just want to hug him and never let go.

he never pushes you away, never chooses anyone else, he is always there for you, as if his place is only next to you — just as you can only be next to him, as if you are a dragon guarding your jewel, as if you should take your eyes off him and whosomeone will try to steal it, but SHI MEI only gently rubs you with a cool, soft palm, smiling slightly shyly, but happily, purring that he will always be with you, briefly allowing himself "of course, to see this, you need to always keep him in focus" — and you assume that you have understood too... literally, but it's hard not to do it when your brain is full of him, when he is always there, when his thin, beautiful, almost transparent arms always wrap around you, while his blood-cherry red, as if filled with juice, lips thank you, and you can't find any strength nor desire in yourself to push away flexible, fragile body, squeezing you so tightly that you would be amazed — if you understood something other than how his eyes burn when fireworks explode over you in honor of the new year, and you would like to say that you need to come back, the two of you are waiting, but when his devilishly divinely beautiful, so homely and dear to your heart face is close that you can almost feel his... b-breath...

your heart explodes, as well as your lips, as if pressed to a hot tin, although it's cold outside — but even SHI MEI'S lips are so hot, as if he feels the same, and his face is so beautiful when one of you presses lips, as if leaving a mark on each other, while your heart are pounding loudly, and when you put your hand on his thin neck in a trance, you feel the beating his heart, echoing and synchronized with yours, as if you have become one while breathing each other, and there is no one but you when the fireworks explode again over your heads, — although everything inside you sounds much louder and fiercer, as if you are about to lose consciousness from the delight and adrenaline spreading through the blood, while his thin, delicate, fragile fingers wrap around you, violently squeezing, pressing against his hot body, whose heat feel even through clothes, and you are not sure of anything except that it will never be better than now.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

also re: billions' non-stance against what it's supposedly being critical about, what a grim and totally inadvertent joke it is to have wendy upgrade to her true dream & calling of Helping The Vulnerable ft. at-risk women & youth(tm) or whatever phrasing like. hilarious. 100% there to tell someone they're Awesome &/or to stop being a Pussy and billions would never imagine that wendy would ever have to deal with such vulnerable members of the populace who she'd also find personally offputting cringe comp loser style. and i guess if someone was offputting in a like, entitled violent asshole way, well that's just fascinating & perhaps epic, as per her entire history being the on-call performance coach personal manager of emotions & (occasionally reciprocated) enabler for axe & his superior Pscintillating Psyche

and i mean, again. all these kids having these godawful fucking parents? well even after axe fucks off to superhell of course one of his kids is just Here larping him no problem. chuck's having those family dinners and Of Course wendy is! didn't matter enough whether prince's kids actually told him to fuck off to touch on that, good enough that the One Guy there having the most (but not fully) unmitigated downfall is punished by effective divorce, b/c vengeful ruination of your pseudo/romantic partner's romantic partner is beautiful when axe does it towards wendy (itself such a fucking case study in Billions What Are You Fucking Talking About & Airing like after axe becoming increasingly violent and violating towards wendy we're really having that lead to a lingering, Completely affectionate pseudoromance culmination??? also their entire relationship & axe being horrible to wendy followed by "aw that's fine" or "aw that's beautiful actually [interminable "romantic" finale scene]" has been a torment)

billions of course devoting all this focus to how chuck sr. is horrible in general & specifically to his son but like will we end with chuck jr. actually being done with this guy? no, we end with more affection towards chuck sr's bullshit like aww he does everything to toughen you up for your own good b/c he cares aw gee :') like If Only he dropped dead just in time for the finale as a tradeoff there, or you know, we Don't have a touching moment where mister abusive father's entitlement to be that abusive father is framed as something of significance and sympathy. aw at least he means well! that's what really matters here.

and like the Most [actual dis/rupture of an abusive relationship] around is plausibly taylor sending off their shit father douglas, wherein billions a) surely meant from the start for douglas to be shitty and b) also surely meant from the start for him to likely not show back up again anyways after the original guest starring half season arc there. and still, like, i mean the most anybody ever gets cheered up around here is someone takes a grand ten minutes to treat them to a drink or something like that, but while it's relevant & believable that they're upset in the aftermath & i dunno angry that these other mfs orchestrated this to hurt them and all that, like, taylor's family situation becomes irrelevant after that arc's done with. naturally they're not further Punished or anything, and they then similarly & repeatedly take stances against & break with axe as their pseudo father, & they finally touch on it again as this potential way to offer some advice / emotional support for philip & his own random pseudo father, although i guess arguable whether billions' isn't like "ohh fucked up to choose Business over the important relationship: fake dad mentor" like plausibly & who cares. as ever, that taylor's material continues to be more likely to indeed actually be in contrast to everyone else's, as that Foil from the start, just that also ooh it can't do it too much & this power that the role thusly has means whoops we'll always be shortchanging taylor & pushing them aside to prioritize other more Normal Winners & S1 roles b/c we aren't willing to have taylor upstage them in screentime or importance Lol Lmao

meanwhile also wendy just Is prince so not like that ruins any points billions is purporting to make

and rian that supposed idealist's idealist is absolutely Never to experience any consequence for just casually being this abusive coworker/friend to winston the entire time, not even a consequence of the show reflecting on it for a moment save to relish it, and then rian is so lacking in any evident Actual Ethical Stances that we just have to last minute out of nowhere make up some arbitrary reason she's uh totally quitting coincidentally just in time, after like the question of [how tf is rian supposedly more concerned about ethics at all? or more than taylor? please explain in any words how rian can possibly consider herself noncapitalist. or learned anything at all while she was around] being neatly answered by: never addressing it in the least (left to also grimly conclude that another Assumed Logical Premise is that the biggest stance possible Against [xyz] is to fix it from the inside. mostly with vibes) like oh wow how great it is that rian is off to do the equivalent of axe between s4 & 5 & Purchase this beautiful travel experience which, wow, how great that when this arbitrary Moral Issue suddenly cropped up for her to care about so much that it frees her as Too Good For This (not a Disruption that stems from like, taking issue with #finance, or any of the bosses, or the general workplace, or herself, fitting in just great the whole time, and only Increasingly: just this red line of the suggestion she'll need to cheat on homework ever, which she could also simply have responded to by going "uh, no i won't" but again they Had to make something up b/c rian has no reason to Morally Transcend & whatever hints of character rian ever got going are tamped down & contradicted and the only way to present anything she does as comprehensible is to always have her just Say the factual explanation for why she's doing whatever at any given time) it's also not before she got all the money she personally wanted anyways! whew! not unlike wendy only having to think her career was in shambles b/c she leapt into a ridiculously avoidable sabotage not even as a choice of Principles except the principle of "ugh i don't feel like taking this principled stance anymore" but then oh it's okay, besides complaining about it to everyone else for a while now there's no cost & you can do your career pivot anyways. except Even Better b/c rian getting everything she wanted, no cost, no principles, required even less effort / intervention from anyone (none, apparently. okay)

and that little detail of billions' fond sendoff to winston actually being a fond little fête for wags and celebrating the culmination and the whole of all the dehumanization & abuse & power structure enforcing violence against winston, to no consequence but gains for all supporters of this within the show or viewing. and did i mention the tiny detail that wendy is no different from prince while supposedly he's the sicko and she's the savior. oh and the ways wendy always treated taylor, actually she was correct to be In Charge Of them and we're just all pretending taylor was never hurt by this b/c haha that doesn't matter. and taylor as ever having the actual perspective / motivation / stance that makes them most counter to whichever bullshit central man you choose means oh sorry they're on the backburner in this series finale arc taskforce and ooh sorry even in the end they're not quite as good as wendy our hero or rian too good too pure! while giving them the actually better and more coherent ending kind of akin to how the best gift winston could be given is everyone forgetting he exists b/c he's out of their field of vision & they're not currently interested in his role in their power trips, but like, billions absolutely doesn't intend that as some Reward, and billions also went Disinterest Mode b/c they didn't want to use him for power trips & forgot he exists.

and again, that wendy just Is prince. this might say something about that apparent Reform(tm) stance re: ah the realest & utmost form of opposing something is trying to fix it from the inside

[findafight]

here is the spotify link to Robin and Steve's Epic Platonic Soulmate Mixtape (vol.1) I'm going to say they made this version in the early spring of 1985. fic link

track list and explanations under the cut!!

Side A--the queer side

Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler: I'm gonna take a wild guess and say y'all know why this is here

Rainbow Connection by Kermit: also self explanatory. and a bop. AND about rainbows. what more could you want?

Bangkok/One Night in Bangkok by Murray Head (Original Chess Recording version): 1) a banger. 2) from a whole musical written by the Bs of ABBA 3) Steve likes to listen to musical while vacuuming his pool :) 4) queer vibes. "the queens we use would not excite you" "i get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine" also to note they DID probably shave off the first minute of instrumental, but not all of it. I used this version and not the radio edit because in my heart of hearts I believe Steve picked up the Chess concept album in the fall of 1984, vibed with it, (I've answered an ask about stobin and the musical chess where I talk more) and that's the version he has.

Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy by Queen: tbh always sounded gay to me, and it's such a fun song, I think they'd vibe with it and agreed it's a silly little nod to steve's previous rep.

Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard by Paul Simon: GAY GAY VERY GAY SONG "it's against the law...what their mama saw/it was against the law" HMM also it's catchy and has so much potential to be an angsty queer ballad too. (also Robin's dad is 100% a Simon and Garfunkle stan that's just. a fact to me.)

I'm Coiming Out by Diana Ross: iconic song claimed by the gays. for the obvious reasons. bit on the nose but this is for THEM.

Sunshine (Go Away Today) by Jonathan Edwards: About not letting someone control your life. It's catchy and heartfelt, dreams about the future. Steve's Vecna Song for me.

You Can't Hurry Love by The Supremes: stobin are losers in the love department, and it's a great and hopeful song about not rushing into things. The Supremes Version because Robin is influenced by her former Hippie parents, and Steve by his Aunt Evelyn and her love of 50's and 60's music. They have appreciation for the Oldie Goldies.

Lady Marmalade by LaBelle: Disco baby. I also feel this was a song for us queer folk. maybe because I'm queer and I like it. it's great, and robin loves hearing women sing about having sex.

Holding Out for a Hero by Bonnie Tyler: throwback to the first song on the mixtape Steve gave Robin at the very beginning! now with the Upside Down between them it means more too. it's also SO FUN to belt in the car. frantic and with a good beat. I don't think I need to justify this one haha

Believe it or Not (theme from Greatest American Hero) by Joey Scarbury: Robin LOVES this stupid show about a cringe fail teacher with his cringe fail life getting a super suit from aliens and then losing the instruction manual. It just feels like a show she'd like even though it's so silly. The theme song is actually great tho. I think it'd really tickle the part of Robin that feels overly average and a bit trapped in Hawkins, but feels those confines lessen when she's with Steve and getting to feel like there's more out there for her. Personally, I first heard it on cassette of top 100 tv themes (along with MASH, Law and Order, Hawaii Five-oh, Andy Griffith etc) sitting in a booster seat in the front seat of my family's motor home on a long summer road trip in the early 2000's, as my dad drove and told me what show each song was from. (Steve buddy I understand your dream so much ok. There's nothing quite like being a kid and going on a roadtrip with your family. magical.)

Side B--The Besties side

You're My Best Friend by Queen: Love song for your best friend me thinks yes :)

Stuck With You by Huey Lewis and the News: the only anachronistic song on the playlist, but I couldn't NOT put it on. lavender marriage stobin REAL. They're stuck with each other :) also look at Steve. He is a guy who listens to Huey Lewis. We know this. He heard this song a year before it came out and was like robin :') it's us....I'm stuck with you...I'm so Happy about it :))

Stoned Soul Picnic by The 5th Dimension: Robin's parents are former hippies. This song is fantastic. Pure vibes. Steve and Robin are going to get rescue cats that are bonded together and name them Sassafras and Moonshine for this song.

Video Killed the Radio Star by The Buggles: Bop and a half. Sing along song.

Both Sides Now by Judy Collins: 1)gorgeous song originally by Joni Mitchel but this version is a bit faster 2) Robin's former Hippie parents influencing her taste strike AGAIN 3) she tries to convince Steve it's about being "queer like him" and he doesn't buy it but "I've looked at love from both sides now/.../I really don't know love at all" and "Oh, but now old friends they're acting strange/ And they shake their heads and they tell me that I've changed/ Well something's lost, but something's gained" hit different for him

Only the Good Die Young by Billy Joel: I chose this billy joel song because it's 1) catchy as all hell 2) about having sex 3) mentions dying and stobin are like We didn't die!! hell yeah! Steve's a pianist and tbh he loves billy joel. who doesn't. it was between this one and piano man i guess, tho i love many Billy Joel songs that are "deeper cuts" ha. and "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints/the sinners are much more fun" line is like. what are they gonna do. not be an emotional queer teen about it?

Raspberry Beret by Prince: it's catchy, and whilst originally I had put La La Love You By Don McLean here, I like this one better. Robin is definitely a Prince fan. and a beret fan. happy coincidink. and its a fun song! about loosing your virginity to a hot girl in a barn!

Indiana Wants Me by R. Dean Taylor: okay originally I'll admit I put this on the masterplaylist because. obviously post-s4 Eddie running away angst song even if it's more folk-rock than metal. I think Steve and Robin would listen to it and really vibe with wanting to go home but not being able to. even if it's not literally. also they live in Indiana and like. you've gotta respect a song about where you live. ALSO the cop sounds in it. so good.

Born in the USA by Bruce Springsteen: a song? about being disillusioned with the American dream after seeing the institutional failures of the government??? very Steve. the whole album is great, and I know I've reblogged a post about Steve and the album (My Hometown hits different). It's angry, frustrated, passionate. Being queer in a small town where the government covers up it's human experimentation and alternate dimensions probably makes you feel a lot of things. All with the veneer of Americana.

Where Do You Go To (My Lovely) by Peter Starstedt: purely self indulgent of me. I adore this song. I think Steve heard it, and thought of Robin. The remembering, the deep knowledge of another person, the longing. When he told Robin that it's a song he always associates with her she tears up a bit, because it's so tender and loving, and a bit silly. Like. Steve knows she'll be amazing and can't comprehend anyone not seeing it. It's sooo tender.

Thank You for Being a Friend by Andrew Gold: Golden Girls didn't air their first episode until fall 1985, and obviously when it does Stobin are loyal viewers, (Steve is in love with Bea Arthur. as is right) but this song came out in the 70's. It's fun and cute and catchy! They love each other and are so, incomprehensibly grateful that they found each other.

[slasher-smasher]

Beyond the Bad Room - The Aches We Feel

Overall I am happy with how Cassidy was written but the interaction with HL I struggled lol. I deeply apologize for the flip flopping of POVs near the end. Dialog and getting into character are not my strong suits. Getting better though. :) Hopefully the whiplash isn't to bad.

I also have come to realize that the timeline is super fucked. I was under the impression that his b-day speech took place in Feb on the 22nd. BUT I must of gotten mixed up because it was actually in July lol. oops. Oh well. Thanks @blindmagdalena correcting my misinformation.

This is not beta'd. All mistakes are due to my lack paying attention in school.

THANK YOU TO THE ONES WHO LiKE AND ARE HOPEFULLY ENJOYING MY WRITING!! You guys seriously help my brain and heart.

AO3 for easier reading and for previous chapters.

Warnings: Emotional and physical cheating, emotional manipulation, unprotected p in v sex, really bad smut scenes because the author is a loser who can't write porn 🥲, probably OOC Homelander, possessive behavior, Homelander is his own warning.

Words: 7,119

Chapter Summary: Cassidy thinks about the past year and with her relationship with Ian growing more brittle as days go by her loneliness increases. She misses John terribly and the life he brought into her day with his charming smiles and jokes. She was on the brink of desperation till she learned some shocking news and watched his speech on the television that she finally decides to bite the bullet and go visit him. Even if he still hates her.

Chapter 4

It had been a strange and tumultuous year for Cassidy. After her confrontation with John, she felt like a shell of her former self. The following morning, she woke up feeling drained and dried out from all the tears and breakdowns she had before finally passing out. She couldn't help but cringe at the sight of her broken marble countertop; she knew she needed to control her anger better.

After quickly having the counter repaired in time before Ian came home, she felt like a part of her had been altered or even destroyed. John's departure felt like he had used lasers on her heart to cut himself free. The impact of his leaving was overwhelming and worrisome for Cassidy. She had developed a close bond with John, but his absence shouldn't leave her feeling so empty inside. In an attempt to distract herself, she focused on work and her relationship with Ian now that she had more time without John's frequent visits to her workplace. However, as Ian began leaving for longer periods of time, Cassidy struggled to make their relationship grow. His absence only made her feel more lonely.

She felt awful. Everyone at work carried on with their daily routines, oblivious to her personal struggles. Work was the only stable aspect of her life now. Don't get her wrong, she still enjoyed her job, but she longed for more personal connections. Meeting new people and engaging in conversations was not her strong suit; she often came off as quirky or awkward. It was difficult for her when people tried to get to know her better, especially when she was trying so hard to appear normal and not reveal her true identity as a centenarian supe with PTSD.

She kept reminding herself to ignore the TV during her rounds and not even glance at it. But every time she heard his voice, she couldn't resist taking a peek. She wanted to know how he was coping with everything. He must be struggling with the backlash of being in a relationship with a Nazi. Every time someone asked him the same question over and over, another crack appeared in his façade. Part of her wanted to judge and condemn him for his choices, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. At the end of the day, he was just a man who fell in love with a woman. She believed that John truly thought he could change Karla. He wanted a family so badly that he convinced himself her past and beliefs didn't matter and would do anything to make that dream come true.

It was the later months that were bizarre. Not only was she missing her favorite perfume, but her neighbors were suddenly scarce when they normally would be greeting her with a friendly hello as she runs into them when checking mail or on her way to work in the morning. Now when she does see them, they mutter a quiet greeting not even making eye contact. The only thing that made her brush off her concern was when Ian was home. She didn't understand why he was so busy all the time now but when he did come home she put most of her attention into being with him. Though even when they made love it seemed like he wasn't completely there with her either.

The loneliness was the driving force behind her resorting to self-pleasure. She felt like she was losing her sanity as thoughts and fantasies of John invaded her mind while she touched herself in bed or in the shower. Her craving for intimacy and connection, combined with John's scent she finds herself immersed in all over her bed that she knows she is hallucinating leading to moments of release that end in tears of shame. How could she betray Ian like this, and even worse, use John in such a way when he wanted nothing to do with her? There was no excuse for her actions.

February was the cherry on top of the cake. Every other day, she would find her favorite tea perfectly made and a breakfast bagel waiting for her. And then there were sweet and funny notes tied to roses and sweets left on her desk. Her coworkers thought it was Ian's romantic gestures for Valentine's season, and she blushed at the idea that he was making an effort. But when she saw what was left on her desk on Valentine's Day morning, she realized it wasn't him. While flowers may not be anything special to some on this supposedly most romantic day of the year, these were no ordinary flowers. They were rare and difficult to grow, making them even more meaningful.

Himalayan Blue Poppies

Ian or anyone else could never understand the significance these flowers held for her. Who would have guessed? These were the same flowers her mother used to lovingly tend to when she was a little girl, always saying they reminded her of Cassidy's bright blue eyes. Despite all the hard work it took to make them thrive, it was always worth it when she could place them in her daughter's hair and see her face light up with a smile.

Cassidy felt tears well up in her eyes. Who—

Then the answer struck her like a bolt of lightning.

John.

He was the only one who knew about them. But he was just a child when she first brought them along, and he always thought they were silly to keep around. Why would he leave these here now, especially on Valentine's Day? The small tokens of endearment suddenly took on a new significance as her thoughts raced through possible reasons for his sudden appearance after an entire year of silence, or at least mostly silence. What could he possibly be trying to do?

Abby, the chief nurse, called out from the doorway. "Wow, those flowers are stunning! Bishop, you're a lucky woman. I wish my partner was as romantic as yours."

"Yeah...lucky." Cassidy absentmindedly acknowledged. She was so lost in a whirlwind of confusion and frustration. But there was also a strong feeling that made her cheeks warm. Affection.

A week later Cassidy was at home reading the latest medical journal magazine while Ian was watching the news. Letting out a noise of displeasure as he tossed the remote on the coffee table in front of him after muting the tv.

"I am beyond fed up with this incessant talk about Homelanders damn birthday celebration. It's the same damn thing every freaking year. We're supposed to worship him just because he's a superhuman jerk? Please. Vought is nothing but a corrupt organization, and they let these supes do whatever the hell they want. It's revolting." Ian slammed his hands down on the table in frustration, letting out an exasperated groan.

Cassidy was about to tell him to not take his frustrations out on the furniture even if she agreed about Vought when she saw the headline over the muted news anchor.

"Turn the sound back on Ian." Cassidy quickly closed her magazine, eyes glued to the screen.

"What? Why?" Ian did as he was told and was shocked as the anchors voice revealed that Stormfront has committed suicide.

"Holy fucking balls." Cassidy could only watch as the leaked footage of EMT's were transporting a body bag into the ambulance.

"Maybe it's fake?" Ian asked while fishing out his phone from his pocket.

"They wouldn't fake this. Especially on Jo-Homelanders birthday." Cassidy quickly covered her slip up. She would have thought to feel happiness or excitement over the fact that the bitch is finally dead and gone. But she only felt sadness. Not over Klaras death, bloody hell no. She was thinking about how John is taking the news. Were they still together? He claimed to have loved her so this would be a huge blow. God why can't he just get a break?

Ian left to make a phone call as Cassidy sat there trying to organize her thoughts and conflicted and muddled feelings.

That night as Ian was washing dishes after dinner Cassidy flicked on the tv to show the celebration. She needed to see. Even if he was just acting. She ignored Ian's scoff as she sat down on the couch.

Luckily, she arrived after Supersonic's musical opener. She observed A-Train, clad in a confusing outfit, welcoming the new co-captains to the stage - the fact that there were now two amazed her. Cassidy took a deep breath and leaned forward slightly, hoping for a better view. He seemed fine, smiling a the camera, engaging with Starlight when appropriate. As Starlight wished him a happy birthday and introduced her cause, Cassidy lost interest and focused on John. When an audience member shouted about his Nazi being dead, she witnessed as his composure shattered. He took charge of the stage, venting and boasting about how he is superior in every way.

She sensed his intense fury and his exhaustion with being manipulated through the television screen. This was where he thrived, captivating audiences with his fervor and charm. As far as breakdowns go, this was one of the most contained ones she had seen from him. She couldn't help but feel proud of him. His typical breakdowns often resulted in casualties and destroyed structures.

Ian left for work, claiming to have new information about Karla's death. He seemed ashamed for breaking his promise to stick around he made on their Valentine's date. Cassidy didn't feel as hurt anymore. She smiled, kissed him, and reassured him she wasn't upset. She was going for a run anyway, so it wasn't a problem.

Technically she was planning on going for a run but the idea of visiting John at the tower was incredibly tempting. She needed an explanation for the gifts and flowers. She could at least tell him she was proud of him for standing up for himself.

The lobby of the tower was quiet and deserted, as it was late at night. She scurried across the entrance, her thoughts filled with regret for not planning this better. She cursed herself for being so eager to see him one more time. How was she going to get past security? She couldn't simply walk up and say, "I'm a friend of Homelander's, let me in." She mentally berated herself for her foolishness.

The disinterested looking security guard gave her a blank look as he asked for ID.

Cassidy fumbled with her bag to retrieve the item as she thought of what to say when they asked for her reason to be here, this late at night.

She handed over her card, the guard swiftly sliding it through a scanner.

"Oh. You're on the VIP list Dr. Bishop," The guard read the screen, surprise coloring his voice. "Please use this elevator to head on up. Homelander is on the ninety-ninth floor. Have a nice night." The guard looked slightly less bored as he handed back her ID.

"Uhh, thanks." Cassidy replied as she awkwardly headed to the elevators the guard indicated to.

VIP? John put me on a list? Did he forget to take it off when he left? ,she thought as she pressed the shiny button to the correct floor.

She had enough questions about John to fill several books. This man just might be the death of her.

As she arrived on ninety-nine she once again felt stupid for not asking where his apartment was located. The tower was huge, housing many supes on one floor.

She debated on going back down and asking for clarification but luckily one of Johns teammates walked by as Cassidy peaked around a corner. It was Queen Maeve.

"Umm 'ello? Is it possible for you to show me where Homelanders' apartment is? I am kinda lost in this maze." Cassidy gave Maeve a wobbly smile as she clenched her hands onto the sleeves of her pink oversized sweater. After a moment Cassidy didn't think the woman was going to help her since she just stared. Then Maeve lifted her arm to point to the direction Cassidy needed to go.

Giving her thanks and heading towards that way she heard Maeve mutter "Great. Another Brit." as she walked away.

Another? Well I guess that isn't strange. She meets all sorts of people, she thought as she walked up to huge double doors.

Her heart started to pound as she stopped and stared at the solid wood. She wouldn't be surprised if he could hear it from inside. She rose her fist, raping softly on the door. When she didn't hear anything, she tried again but with more force. Still no answer. Maybe he is still at the celebration? She doubted it, after his outburst but where else would he be?

This would be the time that she should cut her loss and head back home but the burning need for answers and to see him up close after so long was too strong. Steeling herself she tried the door to find it unlocked.

Why would the world's most terrifying supe need to have locked doors?, she mused.

She hesitated for a moment, then pushed the door open and stepped inside the spacious apartment. The first thing that struck her was the lack of any personal items. There were no family photos, no mementos, no signs of personality at all. It was as if no one lived here — or rather, as if the person who did live here wanted nothing to do with his personal life. The huge room was more like a museum than a home. She didn't understand how a place can have so much in it while still looking painfully sterile.

Cassidy couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness as she walked through the empty apartment. It made her wonder what kind of life John led when he was alone. Was this what he wanted, or was it just a matter of necessity due to the brand that Vought exerts on its supes?

She couldn't shake the sadness that weighed down her heart. She walked over to the attached balcony that faced the city, hoping to catch a glimpse of the nighttime skyline. Hopefully he would see her when he flew home as she stood there, taking in the twinkling lights below.

Homelander didn't even bother with waiting until the very end of the celebration special when he took off into the sky. He felt like the world was closing in on him after finally letting out all the built up frustration and anger with every fucking thing. He WAS better. He didn't need some fucking corporate prick tell him what to do. He was a god damned gift to earth. They should be bowing down to HIM.

Lost in his own thoughts, Homelander almost didn't notice Ian's car speeding off as if there was an emergency. Homelander flew off to Cassidy's apartment faster. With her being alone, it was the perfect chance for him to "reunite" with her. However, his plan was thwarted when he found out she wasn't there. It annoyed and disappointed him to realize she was absent from the lack of a heartbeat in the apartment.

Where in the fuck could she be this late? She better not be on a stupid fucking run. I swear I'm going to tie her to the god damned bed , he panicked as he flew to her usual place she liked to run.

Not finding her after a quick zip through the park just bolstered him into a borderline hysteria. He hated that he didn't know where she was. She could have been taken and maybe she left the country again.

No. No she wouldn’t do that. Not again. Not to me.

Scenarios ran through his head, getting worse than the last. He flew up to his balcony at Vought Tower ready to tear apart his penthouse with his wrath when he was hit by a scent that always immediately calmed him. It wasn't her usual scent due to him keeping the little bottle safely in a drawer that was right next to his bed but it affected him the same. The revolving supply of panties due to losing her mouthwatering taste and smell helped him get off on nights he couldn't visit.

Homelander whipped his head around the large open area to find her, just to see a balled up pink puff on the large couch in front of his massive tv. He let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding and walked over to her. She lay there, her brown locks spread across her arms that were serving as a makeshift pillow. Her legs were tucked into her oversized sweater, trying to keep warm in the chilly room. He couldn't help but smile at how adorable she looked, like a fluffy little puffball. The cold never bothered him, but he was glad she was cozy and comfortable.

What was she doing here? Not that he was complaining. Something deep inside of him purred at the fact that she felt safe in his home enough that she fell asleep. Was she waiting for him? How long was she here? He wanted to wake her up for answers but he also saw the chance to see her up close and vulnerable.

He removed his gloves and lowered himself quietly beside her. He could hear the steady rhythm of her heartbeat and feel the soft exhalations brushing against his cheek as she breathed. Her face was so close that he had to resist the urge to kiss her, like a prince waking his princess in a fairytale. He took a moment to study her peaceful expression, imagining what it would be like to have her next to him every night and morning, as his own when they were finally together.

With a deep breath, Homelander reached out and gently brushed the side of her face, his fingers reverberating with the rhythm of her heart. He brushed a stray lock of hair off her forehead, his fingers lingering for a second longer than necessary.

He cleared his throat, trying to sound gentle and reassuring as he whispered her name. "Cassidy, wake up kitten..." he said, stroking her hair with his fingers. She was so close to him, her body trembled at the sound of his voice. Her lavender eyes fluttered open, her gaze cloudy and confused.

"John?" she murmured, her voice hoarse and sleepy. “Oh balls. I fell asleep.”

Homelander stood up as she took her legs out of her cocoon and sat up straight on the couch. Her face dusted with a light blush as she combed her wild hair in embarrassment.

"I didn't mean to. I was planning on waiting for you till you got home but I guess I was more tired than I thought." She explained as nervously glanced at his face to see how upset he was but was relieved to see a small smile on his face.

What she didn't mention was the scent of him when she sat down felt like felt like it pulled all the exhaustion from stress and the past months to the surface and she couldn't help but rest her head on the plush arm of the couch. She was out like a light.

Homelander settled onto the couch, as Cassidy fidgeted with the hem of her sweater, gathering the courage to bring up the argument they had. But before she could speak, Homelander let out a heavy sigh.

"It's okay, Kitten," he said softly, reaching out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, her blush darkening from the pet name. "I really missed you." His voice was filled with an tenderness that made Cassidy's heart flutter.

As she looked into his piercing blue eyes, Cassidy felt a rush of emotions swirling inside her. She knew they needed to talk about what had happened between them, about the hurtful words that had been exchanged. But right now, in this quiet moment with him, all she wanted was to bask in his presence and forget about their troubles.

Homelander sensed the turmoil in Cassidy's eyes and decided to steer the conversation away from what he knew she wanted to have.

"You know, my life is really going to shit lately," he said, his voice tinged with a hint of vulnerability.

Cassidy's brows furrowed in surprise. She hadn't expected him to open up so easily. "What do you mean?" she asked softly, curiosity lacing her words.

Homelander ran a hand through his hair, looking out into the dimly lit room. "Everything feels like it's falling apart. The pressure from Vought, the public scrutiny...it's suffocating." He turned to her, his gaze searching hers for understanding.

"I saw your speech," Cassidy said while turning her body to face him. "I was pretty impressed that you didn’t burn the whole building down.”

Homelander let out a hollow chuckle at her attempt to lighten the mood. "I thought about it," he admitted with a wry smile, but his expression quickly turned serious again.  "Sometimes...sometimes I feel like I'm just a puppet on strings, dancing to Vought's tune. And no matter what I do, it's never enough. Then when I actually do something, I am persecuted for it."

He shook his head, a bitter laugh escaping his lips. "No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, there will always be those who fear me, who want to tear me down. It's like I'm constantly fighting against the world." Tears welled up in Homelander's eyes, his facade of invincibility crumbling before Cassidy's eyes.

She reached out and placed a comforting hand on his arm, her touch gentle and reassuring. "I can't even imagine how difficult that must be for you," she said softly, her heart aching for the turmoil he was going through.

They sat in silence for a moment until Cassidy slid the hand that was on his arm down and turned his hand so she could settle her palm against his warm one. She looked into his eyes as she took a deep breath.

Cassidy didn't want to argue again, so she carefully chose her words. "I'm not sorry she's gone, but I am sorry for the hurt it caused you." Her hand was held tight by his as he gave a comforting squeeze, understanding exactly who she was referring to.

Her voice trembles with emotion as she reaches out to touch his face, her unwavering gaze burning into his soul. "You are not alone, John," she whispers fiercely. "I know you're incredibly strong, and I'm not drawn to you because you're broken. I am here because I care for you in a way that I have never cared for anyone else before. This past year without you has been god awful and difficult."

He brought her hand to his lips and pressed a tender kiss against her knuckles, his heart pounding with a mixture of excitement and longing. "It’s always been you Cassidy," he whispered, his voice raw with emotion. “I missed you so much too. Everyone who claims to love me always come with ulterior fucking motives but not you.”

Cassidy's breath caught in her throat as she felt the warmth of his lips on her skin, sending shivers down her spine. She gazed at him, her heart overflowing with a newfound sense of closeness and understanding. In that moment, all the tension and uncertainty that had clouded their relationship seemed to dissipate, leaving behind only a deep connection that bound them together.

Their eyes locked in an unspoken agreement, a silent promise of mutual support and comfort. Cassidy could feel a whirlwind of conflicting feelings churning within her—loyalty to Ian, affection for John, and the overwhelming fear of making a choice that would shatter someone's heart. As they sat there, hands intertwined, a sense of peace washed over her, a sense of belonging that she had been missing for so long.

Without breaking eye contact, Homelander reached out to cup Cassidy's face in his hands, his touch gentle yet possessive. His thumb traced her cheekbone, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. Cassidy closed her eyes at the sensation, almost letting herself surrender to the moment but there was one thing that she needed an answer to before she destroyed the trust in a good man who she thought held her heart.

“How did you know those flowers were my favorite?” She asked as she opened her eyes and furrowed her brows.

Homelander blinked in surprise at the sudden and unexpected question. He furrowed his brow, trying to make sense of it before realizing what she was asking. Without hesitation, he pulled her onto his lap, not wanting to stay in the uncomfortable position they were in. His hands returned to her face which had now turned pink and heated.

“You kept bringing them in for months. The same flower every time. I wasn’t exactly sure they were your favorite but I knew you really liked them.” Homelander gave her a hesitant smile. Worried that he got it wrong and the flowers were a mistake.

“They are. My favorite, I mean. My mum used to grow them and they remind me of her.” Cassidy reassured him with a smile of her own. She never talked about her mother before. “I’ll tell you more about her later. Thank you and I loved them”

Homelander's eyes softened at the knowledge that his small gesture had meant so much to her. "I'm glad," was all he said, feeling a sense of pride.

Reaching up, she gently placed her hands on his shoulders, leaning her face towards his. Their eyes locked in a passionate embrace, his gaze never leaving hers. He could feel her breath on his lips, and the anticipation was almost too much to bear. Taking a deep breath, he closed the gap between them, their lips finally meeting in a tender, exploratory kiss.

As their lips touched, Cassidy felt a surge of electricity course through her entire body, like nothing she had ever experienced before. Her hands gripped his suit, pulling him closer to her as their tongues danced and explored each other's mouths. He could taste the peaches that she had earlier, and it only added to the passion that was rapidly building between them.

The months of lack of touch made her desperate for his growing passion. She felt his hands slide down her neck and shoulders to find their way under her sweater and top to feel the warm flesh of her sides.

Cassidy let out a small sound of pleasure as his hands explored her skin, sending shivers down her spine. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him even closer, wanting to feel every inch of him against her. He responded by sliding his hands over her waist, feeling the curve of her hips and the softness of her stomach before reaching around to unclasp her bra, loosening their binding.

His fingers grazed the sensitive skin of her back, making her shiver once again. He gently cupped her breasts in his hands, his thumbs brushing over her nipples, eliciting a soft moan from her. Homelander couldn't believe how much he had yearned for this moment, and now that it was happening, he knew it was everything he had been dreaming of and more.

Cassidy leaned in to place suckling kisses along his neck as he tilted his head back, closing his eyes and letting out a deep groan as she pressed against his growing arousal through their clothes. Despite the layers of fabric between them, it was an incredible feeling.

“F-fuck, I can smell you. So fucking soaked.” He commented through clenched teeth.

Cassidy flushed at the sudden vulgarity that seeped into his voice, feeling a wave of arousal crash over her. He was right, she was drenched, her core tightening in anticipation of the pleasure that was to come. She pulled back enough to look into his eyes, just pools of black with thin blue rings around them.

"I want to feel you," she whispered, her voice barely audible under heavy breaths. Her hands tugged at the opening of the top of his suit.

Homelander felt a surge of anxiety, his heart racing faster than it had in years. “W-wait, Kitten,” he managed to gasp out, his voice shaky. “I… I don’t really… I’m not like…”

Cassidy paused, her hand still clutching the fabric. She cupped his face with the other, making him look at her while she tried to sound heartfelt as she could, “ John, I know. It doesn’t take away how attracted I am to you. You’re perfect. I want to feel the real you.”

She leans forward to place soft kisses on his forehead and cheeks then parting with a quick but deep kiss before pulling away. Watching as his throat bobbed as he swallowed the lump in his throat at the affectionate actions. He still felt a little insecure but he trusted her. She wouldn’t laugh or mock him. He hated that he didn’t look like what the suit displays to people.

Nodding his consent, he took a deep breath and prepared himself for the moment of truth. With a swift motion, she pulled the suit apart, revealing his true form beneath. He shut his eyes and tensed as she dragged the clothing off his shoulders and he pulled his arms out of their protective layer. He hated feeling vulnerable. He basically lived in that suit. Never taking it off during his past relationships, even during sex. They didn’t mind or seem to care. But those women weren’t Cassidy. This wasn’t some fuck to take the edge off. She wanted the real him. She wanted him and not the propaganda Vought loved to showcase and drag around on a leash.

As the suit fell away, revealing the powerful and yet plain figure beneath, Homelander felt a mix of emotions. Fear, anxiety, and yet an odd sense of liberation. Cassidy’s touch was all he needed to ease those fears, her warm fingers gently caressing his skin as if she had been doing this for years.

She slowly traced the lines of his torso, brushing against the hair. As she moved her hands, she felt the beating of his rapidly pulsating heart. His chest rising and falling in deep, ragged breaths, a stark contrast to the pristine, perfection he presented to the world.

Cassidy leaned in, inhaling the unique, musky scent of his skin, a smell that was all John. She could have sworn she heard his heart synchronizing with hers, matching her own heartbeat. With a tender smile, she met his gaze, a silent promise that she would never let him feel insecure or alone.

"You're beautiful," she whispered, reaching up to caress his face with both hands. "And you're mine."

Homelander couldn't believe what he was hearing. The words he had always longed to hear, but never expected to hear from someone.

She quickly pulled her own sweater and top over her head and tossed it to the side. He watched, transfixed, as she shrugged off her bra, revealing a breathtaking sight. Her breasts were perfect, full and round, with dangerous curves that spoke of passion and desire. His hand trembled slightly as it reached up to cup them, pinching the pink nubs.

He leaned forward and took one of Cassidy's nipples into his mouth, gently sucking and nibbling, eliciting a soft moan from her. Her hips bucked under him, her body arching in response to his touch. Her palm traced down his back, feeling his strength practically vibrate under his hot skin.

Cassidy broke the connection, her breath coming in short gasps. Immediately surging forward to bring their lips together in a fiery kiss. Both of them let out sounds of pleasure as they worked on unbuttoning and unbuckling each other's pants. Slowly, Homelander slid his hand into Cassidy's jeans and felt the wetness that had been driving him insane ever since he had first smelled her all those months ago.

Cassidy moaned softly into his mouth, breaking the kiss to whisper, "I need you, John. Please."

With urgency, they quickly stood up, he removed his pants and boots and she slipped off her own, stepping out of them and into his comforting embrace. Cassidy ran her fingers through Homelander's hair, pulling his head down to meet her lips again in a passionate, fervent kiss. Her breasts were pressed against his chest, her nipples hard and sensitive against his skin. She couldn’t get enough.

Homelander picked Cassidy up, cradling her in his strong arms. She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer, their bodies fusing together as one. He carried her to his bedroom with a gentle ease, as if she were the most precious thing in the world. The room was dim, lit only by a few lights casting shadows on the walls.

He laid her down gently, her body pressed against the cool fabric, her skin glowing in the low light. He looked into her eyes, filled with love and desire. Her bruised lips were parted, her breath coming in soft, ragged gasps. With a soft growl, he reached out, his hands tracing the curve of her hips and the soft skin of her stomach. His fingers danced lower, teasing and prodding until he found the wet heat he craved.

Cassidy's hips bucked at his touch, having to grasp his wrist to stop him from teasing her further. The emptiness became painful as she whined and pleaded for him to be inside her. He sucked in a breath as he took in the desperation in her face. As much as he wanted to bring her over the edge repeatedly with his mouth, his aching cock was getting hard to ignore. They had the rest of their lives to explore.

Nodding, their bodies melted into each other, his rock-hard cock pressed against her wet pussy, seeking entrance. They kissed feverishly, tongues entwining and exploring each other's mouths as their hands roamed and touched every inch of skin that was exposed. Guiding his erection to her entrance and slowly, deliberately pushing inside her. They gasped at the sensation, her warm muscles clenched around him, pulling him deeper. He thrusted into her, again and again, each stroke more powerful than the last.

She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer, their bodies fused together in this intimate connection. Their moans and gasps filled the room, mingling with the sound of their skin slapping together. His hands gripped her hips, guiding her up and down his shaft, setting a rhythm that had them both on the edge of ecstasy. She met each thrust with her own, her hips moving in perfect harmony with his, their bodies undulating in a dance of passion and desire.

Their breaths came in ragged gasps, their bodies generating intense heat, her skin glistening in the low light. He watched her face as she peaked, her eyes rolling back in her head, his name reverberating throughout his large penthouse. Her body convulsed under his, milked him for every ounce of pleasure he had to give. And then, with one final thrust, he tucked his head into her neck as he felt the wave of his own release, his cock twitching as he spilled his seed deep inside her fluttering pussy.

They collapsed onto the bed, breathless and spent, their bodies still joined together. For a moment, they just laid there, basking in the afterglow of their passion. Cassidy's fingers traced patterns on Homelander's back, her eyes locked onto his, filled with love and gratitude.

"I love you," she whispered, her voice soft and vulnerable.

Homelander swallowed hard, his throat feeling raw from the emotion. He pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her, and whispered back, "I love you too. So fucking much."

They laid there occasionally exchanging kisses and I love yous, enjoying each other's company. Cassidy had her head on his chest listening to the steady beat of his heart and basking in the heat that he seems to constantly generate. She nibbled on her bottom lip as she debated if bringing up something was worth disrupting their cozy moment.

“I know you were there during my run after Thanksgiving. I saw you with those two guys in the tunnel.” she heard him inhale sharply and pause his trailing up and down on her back. He didn’t say anything as she lifted her head to rest her chin on his sternum as she looked at him.

“I want to thank you. Even though I could have taken care of myself.”

“Then why didn’t you stay?” He asked as he resumed his caress. Relaxing when she didn’t seem upset with him.

“I thought you didn’t want anything to do with me and were just doing your rounds. I left right when the second guy started to run. Didn’t know if you knew I was there and messed up your night.” She gave him a sheepish smile and brushed back his hair from his eyes while stretching to press a kiss to his lips.

She would never admit to him that his display of strength and savagery made her come hard in the shower when she got home. His ego is big enough thank you very much. That, and she shouldn’t have been turned on by someone’s death in the first place. Some doctor she was.

"I will always keep you safe. Everyone else can go to hell. You are my main concern, above everything and everyone else. Do you understand? I would destroy the entire world if it meant saving you." He gently traced her cheekbone with his thumb while holding her face in his hand. His eyes were filled with a fierce devotion and unwavering seriousness.

His confession should have made her worry and be a bit unnerved with how possessive he was but instead it made her blood heat with the feeling of being needed so completely. All she could do was nod and sit up to throw her leg over him to straddle his hips. The fire that he lit with his words reigniting her passion and his touch on her hyper-sensitive skin shot tingles throughout her body.

They made love again, lost in each other till the sky started to lighten around the horizon as morning approached. They separated while panting hard from the intense activity. Cassidy felt boneless and high off of endorphins and oxytocin. When she finally noticed the sun rising she shot up to look at the clock on his nightstand that read seven o’clock in bright red numbers.

“Oh fucking balls! It’s morning already?! Oh God. I need to get home. Fuck, fuck, fuck." she panicked as she shot out of the bed to gather her clothes then remembering they were by the couch in the living room. Not even bothering with becoming embarrassed with her nudity she ran into the living room and started to haphazardly throw on her things.

Arms suddenly circled around her to stop her jerky movements, “Hey, heeey. Where’s the fire? Why do you need to rush home so quickly? I thought we were having a great time! What did I do wrong? Don’t you wanna stay?” Homelander’s tone held a bit of hurt and sadness as he pulled Cassidy into his naked body. “Don’t you wanna stay with me?”

The pain in his voice made Cassidy drop her shirt as she quickly turned around in his arms, “Oh baby, I do,” she kissed him deeply while cradling his face, “ You didn’t do anything wrong love! I really want to stay in bed with you all day, John. That sounds so bloody fantastic but I can’t.”

She saw the disappointment in his eyes before he started to close off as he loosened his arms around her which made her hold onto him tighter.

“I promise I’ll be back later today! I just need to—”

Homelanders' hard tone cut her off, “Go back to Ian huh? I see. Get your jollies off with me then crawl back to the Chip Berlet wanna be. Fucking typical. I can’t believe I fell for it when you said you loved me. If you did, you wouldn’t—” It was her turn to shut him up by yanking his head down into a heated kiss before separating.

“No! No, you don’t get to throw your tantrum and say hurtful things to me. I was going to say I need to go to work since I am on duty today and need to change my clothes before you automatically assumed. You overgrown prat of a man. How could you think that I would just come here for a fuck? I absolutely love you John.” she panted in anger as she held his watery gaze as tears gathered in his eyes.

“Yeah, but you are still with him. You’re mine Cassidy. Utterly and completely mine . I don’t share with others Kitten.” Homelander growled as he retightened his arms around her in possessiveness.

“I will talk and end things with him when I see him tonight. I promise. Just please trust me. I have never lied to you. I can’t be in a relationship with you if you don’t trust me John. I would never hurt you on purpose.” she pleaded as she soothed his hair back and tucked her head under his chin. “Please.”

Homelander tightened his lips in displeasure but gave her a small sad nod as she pulled away to wipe away the moisture before they fell. She maneuvered him into their special hug. He took deep lungfuls of her scent to calm down when he pressed his face into the crook of her neck.

When she managed to have him let her go, she pressed soft kisses over his face after each article of clothing was put on, then she kissed him one last time after promising again to come back after work then left.

Homelander felt a little better knowing she wasn’t going back to Ian but was still upset that she wasn’t here with him. He was looking forward to spending the day with her. Watching movies and cuddling on the couch. He wanted her to be there when he turned on the news to see what people thought of his speech last night. He probably tanked in even more points. He was just so fucking pissed and done with everything.

Not giving a damn about his nakedness he slumped on the couch where her clothes were piled and turned on the tv to wallow in his self-pity.