#Azriel is not ok
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WIP Saturday: She'll Wait No Longer
Things are getting very angsty and very intense up in the world of my keyboard 😬😬 Our collective husband is really going through it.
@azrielappreciationweek
“Take a breather, brother. Calm the fuck down and we’ll let you out.”
After a few seconds he said, in a gentler voice, “I’ll let you know as soon as I hear anything about her.”
Azriel slumped on the floor for a few quiet seconds. But when he looked down at his bloodied hands, Elain’s screams echoed in his ears. Rhysand’s words floated back to him and wrath like he had never known tore through his body once more.
Before he knew what he was doing he had ripped a shelf from the wall and smashed it into smitherines on the stone floor.
No one knew Elain, no one cared about what she chose, what she desired.
He picked up glass jars and threw them with all his strength at the far wall, where they exploded into crystals and dust with the force of the collision.
No one respected her, no one looked past her gentle voice and caring demeanor to understand what lay beneath.
Another shelf came down and Azriel splintered it into shards with his bare hands while he roared in anger.
His rage consumed him.
No one saw the power and grace, the strength and determination, that Elain wielded so quietly.
Azriel smashed a ceramic pot against the heavy door, letting the pieces crumble to his feet.
#azriel shadowsinger#Angsty Azriel#Raging Azriel#elriel#azrielappreciationweek2024#current wip#work in progress#Azriel is not ok#ao3 fanfic#elriel fanfic
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Azriel running back to tell Rhys that Bryce stole Truth Teller
#you know this is exactly what happened after bryce left#azriel#bryce quinlan#rhysand#hofas#house of flame and shadow#crescent city#hofas spoilers#he definitely needed rhys to console him#rhys just hugs him stroking his hair going it's ok buddy it's ok#lisa reads hofas
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whom the shadows sing for — (and the thief's echoing hymn)
a/n: if you have stuck around and waited u are INCREDIBLE thank u so much for ur patience <3 esp cos i'm still testing it with my slowburn lmao + tell me what u think lovelies and as always, enjoy
word count: 4.1k
synopsis: Azriel's shadows find a new way to torment their master. The question of forgiveness follows you. Cassian gets you in the ring, testing out newly learnt skills.
CHAPTER TEN :: SHADOWS
Azriel is a spy by his very nature.
It makes sense; the gift of Shadowsinger is never bestowed so lightly so that it could ever leave any doubt of the user. Shadowsingers are spies, even well before their gifts revealed themselves. Always watching. Always listening.
It was, then, a tad against his disposition to keep his nose out business that wasn't his — as that was precisely what Azriel did best.
But his decision was resolute. Azriel had promised himself he would not be the first to break the distance between you two.
However, for a fae over five-hundred years old, it's quite unsettling to yet again feel the pangs of impatience. Years of practicing restraint and then, in a mere few months, his hard earned patent for patience begins to fray at the ends. You'll be his undoing, he's sure of it.
Like a young and fresh-faced warrior itching for battle, it's almost embarrassing how Azriel can't seem to stay away from you. His feet wander and all paths lead to you.
His shadows are not helping.
Azriel thinks they've managed to get more insistent, which he hadn't really believe was possible. They've proven him oh-so wrong. When he walks the halls of the House of Wind, the dark wisps dart out, as though trying to tug him along.
He had trusted them all of two times before, face flushed and with an ungraceful but thankfully unnoticed exit, he learned just where they were leading him.
They were following the invisible thread between you, taking him to see his mate.
When it became clear he wasn't going to be coerced along, his shadows had only got more devious.
It's a particular brand of torture, Azriel thinks, to be delivered little parcels of knowledge of the person he's not allowing himself to see.
And they're ruthless about it. Whispers about how you're healing and the growing steadiness of your feet, the way you stand a little taller each day, about the tentative trust extended to Cassian.
Gods, that one had made his hand jerk across the paper in surprise, spilling a patch of ink onto the report he was in the middle of.
You were talking to Cassian— no, you were nearly friends with Cassian. The magnanimous hope had ballooned within him before Azriel remembered to stomp it back down.
Mor had teased him for the black stains on his hands during dinner.
He studies them now, nearly washed away completely, before he lifts his head. In the cool air of dusk, Azriel surveils the training ring from the shadows of the door, eyes scanning across the balcony.
It's empty, as expected. The rising moon is his only company.
You've stuck to training in the mornings, of course.
He's relieved and disappointed all at once—then Azriel forces that disappointment out of his system with a frustrated huff.
He is not allowed to be disappointed. Your trust is something he still needs to claw his way back to, to earn, and that required waiting and accepting that.
Azriel would see you... when you wanted to see him.
Despite his resolve, the thread between you still gives a futile tug before he can stop it. Scowling at himself, he rubs at his chest meanly, banishing the feeling. He steps down onto the balcony and heads towards the equipment.
As his scarred hands reach out and pluck one of the training staffs off the rack, his shadows twirls and trill, an almost teasing motion. It takes one pointed whisper, one tug on his heartstrings —they used that one just earlier today— before his hands are glowing warm from the second-hand touch.
His fingers spring apart and the staff hits the tiles with a loud clatter. Even though it's just him out on the balcony, he still casts an awkward glance around him. Gods
If his brothers could see him now, Azriel thinks dryly.
He swats at the shadow that had unhelpfully fed him the information. It dances away from him, swooping down to circle the staff on the ground with its others, a mass of black surrounding it.
Azriel bends down and gingerly picks up the staff, his hazel eyes staring at it for a long moment. Where your hands have been.
After a moment, his fingers curl around it. His marred hands feel like they're glowing again, warm and tingling, even if he knows it's all in his mind. Even so, he swears the golden thread between you hums, just ever so slightly.
He'll allow himself this, just this once, Azriel decides. His grip tightens and he heads to the ring, preparing to train, his hands where yours were just mere hours before.
—
The day after you had met Cassian, as the dawn breaks over sky, you find him on the training balcony before you.
You're a little later than you'd normally be, the sun actually rising before you do. You're moving a little more sluggishly too, but for once it's for a better reason.
Sleep, normally light and fitful for you, had actually been a reprieve last night. You slept deeply, falling into dreamless slumber and resting properly.
When morning crept in, dragging your eyelids up had felt like a mountainous amount of effort. Part of you wonders if it's because of the male across the balcony from you.
Allies, you had agreed upon.
It's a little easier to rest when you've made one less enemy.
Watching him now, stretching his supple and bulging arms, you have to force down the instilled anxiety that festers up, a force of habit that's kept you safe all these years.
You're not in Exordor anymore. You're not keeping any secrets.
Cassian clocks your hesitant stance in the doorway as he turns, a wide grin breaking across his face. His wings perk up, a genuine sign of his excitement. He stops his stretching momentarily to wave.
"Morning!" He calls out, despite the fact the distance between you doesn't require him to do so.
"Ally." He adds pointedly, leaning over to give an over the top wink.
Somewhere buried deep inside you, a laugh almost wants to wriggle free, but it's smothered before you can think too hard. You give him a wry smile instead, the best you can manage, and take a tentative step down onto the balcony. Your wings give a tiny shiver in the passing breeze.
"Good morning," You manage to return, the words sticking in your throat on the way up. It's awkward but nothing in Cassian's friendly demeanor changes to indicate he's noticed. Your feet lead you over towards the weapons rack.
It's as you reach them do you realise your heart is rabbiting wildly, pounding in your chest, stewing you in discomfort. The hair on the back of your neck rises, prickling with unease. Your back is turned to a fierce warrior, one that could very well attack you.
And worse, you'll be training next to him, still not healed, still stumbling on your feet—revealing all the ways to strike you down.
You—you haven't done this, ever. You haven't trained with someone completely as yourself, with no facade to hide beneath. It suddenly becomes incredibly vulnerable.
Your hand trembles as you reach out for the training staff and you try your best to swallow down your nerves.
Cassian has kept his distance, resuming his stretches, but you don't miss how his eyes dance over to you every couple of seconds. For a moment, it alarms you but as you find a place and settle into your stance, you steal another glimpse.
It's more like... a dog wagging its tail, you think faintly.
You press down the urge to smile and begin your exercises.
There's all of ten minutes of silence before it gets broken.
"How do you like Velaris?"
You pause in your motions, huffing to catch your breath as your grip the training staff loosens. You cast a glance over at Cassian who's now picked up one of the broadswords, beginning to throw its weight around easily.
You blink and for a moment, your eyes dart out over the edge of the balcony, to the city teeming with life, so close and yet so far from you. A part of you aches fiercely to see it.
"I... haven't been into the city." You answer honestly. It comes out curt and doesn't exactly answer his question.
Eyeing his sword nervously, your force your aching muscles through another series of exercises. You're a sliver better than the day before but when your ear twinges loudly, you still stumble, a minuscule motion. Your heart lurches up your throat, frustration welling like a tidal wave within you.
"Okay, then how do you like the House of Wind?"
You pause again, looking over to Cassian tentatively, the pain in your ear momentarily forgotten. The rising frustration in you dissipates at the distraction. He waves a casual hand over to the house you've been residing in since you arrived in Velaris and smiles once more.
You swallow thickly. What is his angle here?
"I haven't..." You struggle to put your thoughts into words. It's... different. New. Unsettling. You don't want to say the wrong thing. For all you know, this may well be his home.
Eventually, you find your voice. "I like my room. It's—" Several words ping to the front of your mind. "—big."
You cringe. Some compliment that is. You're too honest even if it is true; you're far too used to the familiar cramped space of your own cabin. Even sharing walls with others is foreign to you and you're incredibly thankful you haven't run into anyone unexpectedly in any corridors yet.
It doesn't occur to you that it might entirely be by design, thanks to Rhys' strict instruction.
Cassian grins. "Yes, I recall Illyria being hardly known for it's roomy cabins."
He swings the sword around with a flick of his wrist, more like an idle motion than anything. Your eyes still flicker down keenly, watching for any threat, just in case.
"So, you haven't explored the house much then?" Cassian continues, feigning a stab forward with the sword, his eyes on his motions but his attention still focused primarily on you.
You follow his lead and swing the training staff again, in an arching whoosh. You shake your head in answer to his question.
"Do you want to?"
"Do you always talk this much during training?"
The words come out before you can think to check them, sucking in a sharp breath as you realise how snappy that sounded. Like you're looking for a fight.
You ready yourself to sink into a defensive stance, before you realise that Cassian has only laughed in response. A curl of his tied back hair comes loose as he shakes his head, the action almost... fond.
"Only when I'm trying to make friends." He grins warmly, eyes flicking up to meet yours. "Sorry, I'll stop prying."
You swallow and nod slightly, hoping it won't be read as rude. Though you'd had a hard time believing it, Cassian had been true to his word; no fighting unless it was in the ring. You hadn't dared to go near it yet.
Readjusting your stance, you prepared to go through the motions once more. It's still a bit more of the juvenile exercises than you're used to—forced back to the basics as you retrain your body—but also because you're solitary training. You're used to sparring with others.
Stealing a glimpse at Cassian, you ponder if—if you might, eventually that is, train alongside him as you had done with Azriel.
Moving the training staff deftly, you thrust it forward and twist your lithe body to dart forward again, a small patter of your feet on the stone.
It's maneuver used for rushing opponents, throwing them off their balance and driving them backwards. It works for you, mostly, but the way your wings cut through the air, the slightest whistle through the holey scars, makes you a little unsteady.
"You fight like you're bigger than you are."
Straightening up, you breathe heavily and peer around the edges of your wings back at Cassian—who apparently isn't done talking at all.
He nods to you, in reference the maneuver you've just performed. "That is a move usually far better suited for someone of a larger stature."
You clear your throat, wings curling in a bit closer around you. "Yes. Azriel, he- he was trying to rectify that. There's only one way to train Illyrians, as I'm sure you know."
Cassian nods again, lowering the sword to hang at his side. "That I do. However, I feel Azriel may have been taking the wrong approach given... the information he was not privy to at the time."
Your brows knit together, something wrong twisting tightly in your chest.
"Because I'm..."
Female.
"Not a male?"
The words come out sharp without meaning to.
Cassian's picks up on your defensiveness, his expression softening. He gives a little so-so motion with his free hand, his wings rustling behind him. "A bit, but not for reasons you may think."
When you don't speak, he continues, his explanation unfurling.
"Your centre of gravity is different to ours. That actually changes the best way for you to fight. More of your strength comes from these—"
He slaps his hands down onto his thighs with a grin.
"—than from your arms. For that reason, there are moves you will be better at than what you've been taught."
Cassian cocks his head, his dark eyes squinting for a moment, deep in thought. "Azriel likely switched your training to agility based, didn't he?"
You nod gingerly. You had no idea if what he was said was true. If there was a fighting style suited to females. That would require... female warriors which, for all you've ever known, is a highly unlikely thing to exist.
Though, being he is the General of the Night Court's armies, you'd likely assume Cassian knows what he's talking about.
He nods, that same easy smile. "He was right to do so. Most camps focus on brute strength and stamina. Makes for good warriors that can take hits and keep going. You can train that way if you still wish but you might find you excel when your efforts are put elsewhere."
It takes a long moment before you realise exactly what his words mean.
An offer. He's offering to train you, to teach you.
Pleasant surprise blooms inside you, warm, curling up behind your ribs like a purring cat. Cassian's eyes are light and friendly, his body language relaxed as though if you turn him down, it'd be of no consequence to him. Merely an offer.
You turn it over in your mind, back and forth. The gentle wind from the mountains caresses across your cheekbones, a warm touch.
Inside, deep in your chest, there's something telling you to trust. To take the step forward, to accept Cassian's outstretched proposal. That you might regret it if you didn't.
"How?" Your eyes skirt up and down on instinct, still on alert for a threat that isn't coming.
Cassian grins infectiously, not even attempting to hide his glee. He rolls his shoulders back and assesses you once more.
"Have you ever heard of the headscissor takedown?"
—
Flesh hits stone, a large shuddering bang that echoes out the courtyard. In the distance, a couple birds take flight, squawking loudly. Pain ricochets through your knees, a warbling and jarring pain that has you gritting your teeth.
"You're..." Cassian's breath comes out raggedly. "Incredible!"
He beams from where he's pinned beneath you and your pain dashes away in a moment, something gleaning and prideful taking its place.
There's a rivulet of blood under his nose, his hair knocked loose, and you know hitting the ground as hard as he did won't have been nice. He continues on as if he hasn't.
"That was perfect form. You're a Cauldron-born natural!"
You huff a breath that might be an actual laugh this time and quickly retract yourself, standing to your feet. You waver momentarily, hesitance poisoning your thoughts, before you decide. Holding out your hand to help, Cassian is quick to put his hand in your own and use it to lug himself up.
When he gets to his feet, his grip loosens but he doesn't let go altogether.
"Hey," He says, more serious this time. His fingers around your wrist, soft and warm, still make your pulse jump nervously. You force yourself to meet his gaze, still friendlier than ever. "Seriously. You're very skilled and you're a fast learner. You've got the makings to be lethal. The Night Court is lucky to have you on our side."
His hand slips back, grazing your wrist, and you wonder if he can feel the way your heart skips a beat.
No one has ever been... lucky to have you. It's so foreign that hearing someone say it aloud makes you forget to breath for one long second.
"I—" The word pushes out before you think about it. "That's... You-"
Praise is not a part of Illyrian training. You fumble with it, feeling entirely out of your depth, feeling oddly proud of yourself. It feels like your cheeks are warmer than usual.
Cassian chuckles, wiping the blood from his nose with the back of his hand. "You're welcome." He says pointedly, making you realise you're supposed to say thank you after someone compliments you.
You flounder for another second, making Cassian laugh again, louder this time. He reaches forward and lightly taps you on the shoulder, a faux punch.
"You'll get used to it." He says. Part of you really, really wants to. "Now, c'mon. Let's go again. Hit me."
—
You think that now Cassian's got what he wanted—the two of you training together, learning the plethora of new moves, stances, blocks he has in his repertoire—he wouldn't have anymore questions.
You're sorely, sorely, wrong.
Two mornings later, the pair of you prepare for some sparring with the swords in the ring. Cassian's purposefully picked one of the heavier ones for himself, broad and long, but he'd put aside a blade for you.
It's smaller, lighter. It reminds you of Heartstriker.
Which reminds you of Azriel.
The mere thought of him has your heart humming, miserable and elated all at once. You're still not sure if you'd like to see him just yet, the confusing twist of betrayal too fresh, but still, some part of you seeks him out, consciously or not.
You want to wander the halls until you find the door to leads to him.
It's because he was your first friend. You reason, as you step up towards the sparring ring. He was the first person you trusted. Was? Is—maybe.
Do you still trust him?
Cassian is already in the ring, waiting as patiently as he can. His rustling wings give him away, even as casual as he looks leaned up against one of the corner posts.
His wings are stretched out, towards the sun's rays that are just beginning to slip over the horizon, trying to steal some of their warmth.
A yawn slips past your lips. The night of restful sleep was an outlier it seemed, the tendrils of a calming, easy sleep stolen away just as quickly.
Fingers curling around the hilt of the short sword, you step gingerly into the ring, eyes casting across to your opponent. You roll your shoulders back, warming up the muscles a bit more, and give your own wings a little shake. A shiver wracks through you in response, the chill of the morning touching on sensitive scars.
"Is there a particular reason Azriel is avoiding you?"
Your head snaps up at the sound of Cassian's voice, cool and calm.
He hasn't shifted, though his wings are tucked back in now. His sword is still relaxed at his side, his worn hand tucked around the hilt of it freely.
The usual chattiness that Cassian has been able to coax out of you these last few days shrivels up. Azriel is avoiding you? You hadn't wanted to see him but this—something curls up inside you, sour and foul. You swallow hard.
"I hadn't realised." You murmur, unable to keep the bitterness from seeping into your words.
Cassian blinks and seems to realise his mistake. He waves a hand dismissively, as if it can scratch away his last words. "I misspoke. I believe he is... keeping his distance."
He furrows his brow, face pinched, picking his words carefully. "For your sake." He adds.
You... don't know how you feel about that. On one hand, you're relieved. It's not by pure chance that you haven't seen him yet, it's purposeful—he's keeping out of your way, giving you peace.
On the other hand, something twined in your chest pangs sorrowfully, mourning the distance between you.
While Cassian's presence as an ally (or perhaps, you'll even admit, a friend) is comforting, you'll admit it does not fill the same shape in you as Azriel does. You miss him, quite terribly so.
"What makes you think he's avoiding me?" You ask.
Cassian gives an little shrug, his head tilting to the side just a bit. He smiles in a way that tells you he knows more than he lets on. Or maybe, he simply knows Azriel far better than you do.
"He usually trains in the morning." He explains nonchalantly. "He's taken to training at night since your arrival."
You frown at the new information. You don't want Azriel to be changing things for you, to bend and warp his routines in his home, just for you. You don't want him to avoid you either, even if you're beginning to think you might never be brave enough to face him.
He left you. He was your first friend and the betrayal of that is entirely too new— but you don't know where to draw the line.
You don't know for how long you're allowed to be upset — or how long you can let this go on before you're punishing yourself just as much as you are him.
Flexing your grip on the sword, you stare across at Cassian and when you open your mouth, the words tumble out with warning.
"He..." Your breath hitches.
Something awful hooks into your chest, remembering the way he had folded himself into shadows, away from you. The look on his face.
"He left me. When I needed him more than ever." You admit.
Your voice doesn't waver but Cassian can still see the slight tremble in your shoulders, rolling in. Your eyes have dropped to study the floor of the sparring ring, seemingly lost in the memory.
Cassian's face softens, his heart aching for you. You don't even notice how your own wings have begun to curl in, a soft, comforting blanket around yourself.
It's clear you're struggling to juggle the myriad of emotions that haunt you and he gets it, Mother, does he get it. It had been hard the first time, during those first tentative months of friendship with Rhys, before Azriel was even in the picture. Cassian had one emotion that served him any purpose and that was spite.
Spite kept him alive. Spite told him who to knock down and who to put down.
Friendships and spite are not the greatest combination. When Rhys had done something Cassian had vehemently disagreed with, it had felt like a deception, stinging as badly as the backhand from Lord Devlon, sneering the word bastard.
It took time to undo the messy tangle of emotions, to learn that not all betrayal fell into the same box. That forgiveness for some people was not weakness at all.
So, Cassian asks. "Did he come back?"
You glance up at him, eyes flickering with emotion at the question. After a moment, you swallow and say. "Yes. He did."
Cassian nods. He stretches his wings out a bit and reaches up to push a stray piece of hair behind his ear.
"Alright. How long do you intend to punish him for that mistake?"
You freeze at that question and Cassian can tell he's hit the right spot. You're unsure how long you should—because all you know is that you're hurt. And when you're hurt, you don't know any other way to deal with it.
There's only one pathway ingrained for when someone hurts you. Cassian realises suddenly, Mother help him, that he must try to be good at the talking side of things. He needs to show you there's other ways you can go.
"Because," He continues, not waiting for your answer. "I can assure you that Azriel will punish himself for far longer and far harsher than you ever will. I've known my brother a long time. If there anyone who understands the gravity of his actions and will torture himself over them, it's Azriel."
A hesitant expression shutters across your face, your brows furrowing slightly. Cassian doesn't need Rhys' daemati gift to understand the conflict that's battling within you.
"You think I should forgive him."
You don't pose it as a question. A little bit more of that iciness has bled back into your voice, on guard again.
Cassian can tell that, like him, you don't take well to being told what to do. That's fine; Cassian has no intention of doing that whatsoever.
"I think that is your decision entirely." Cassian says, letting the words breathe so they truly sink in. He watches as your eyes narrow momentarily and then your shoulders relax, sinking down an inch.
"But," He says gingerly. "If you avoid each other, you might never move past this. Might never move forward. It might be worth considering what you really want at the end of the day."
The sun has properly broken across the mountain ridges, no longer just sparse rays. You turn your face, facing towards the warmth. There's still that scrunch between your eyebrows, betraying your deep thought, but Cassian has said enough for now.
He moves his sword and taps the end of it against the stone, a soft steel ping grabbing your attention. You whip your head back to face him and Cassian grins, raising his sword.
"Enough talking. More fighting."
You smile, a little hesitant but entirely genuine, and raise your sword in response. That's one thing you're sure you know how to do right.
tags below!
@strangerstilinski @janebirkln @itsswritten @mischiefmanagers @hnyclover
@waytoomanyteenagefeels @idkitsem @illyrianbitch @jeweline16 @fightmedraco
@iamjimintrash @maendering @spideytingley @aneekapaneeka @cassianswh0reeee
@viciane @astarlitsoul @mybestfriendmademe @archiveofcravings @reputaytionn-13
@bionic-donut @chessebookgirl @itseightbeats @littleblackcatinwonderland @twsssmlmaa
@fanworrior @skysayhi @vintageoldfashion @tequilya @fabulouslyflamboyant5
@rhysandorian @laughterafter @brieftriumphnightmare @hirah-yummar @some-person-somewhere
@scooobies @sfhsgrad-blog @cherry-cin @bookloverandalsocats @megscabinetofcurios
@doodlebugsblog @landofpetrichor @acourtofdreamsandshadows @florabelll @tanyaherondale
@aomi-recs @letmejustreadthanks @problemfinder @sevikas-whore @doodlebugg16-blog
@meandmysillywriting @justingnoreme @krowiathemythologynerd @hanatsuki-hime @sunny747
@coffeebeforewater @kalulakunundrum @marina468 @moonbirde @yellow-birdy @sheblogs
@shinyghosteclipse @randombibitch @itsjustwinter @emryb @books-all-the-way13
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@historygeekqueen @roseodelle @assriels @rem-ie @storiumemporium
@lovingkelj @itsswritten @breadsticks2004 @marina468 @sapphena
#MORE CASSIAN HELL YEAHHHHH#just a couple of besties who love to fight <3#also azriel! even if there is no interaction there's azriel in this one!!!#sorry the pining must be done. there must be PINING#azriel#azriel x reader#azriel shadowsinger#azriel fanfic#azriel shadowsinger x reader#azriel x you#azriel shadowsinger x you#wtssf#azriel fic#azriel acotar#whom the shadows sing for (and the thief’s echoing hymn)#whom the shadows sing for#sloane writes#also i put out that poll and then was like ok this thang is already 4k. we must split it#but trust the rhys interaction is gonna be GUUUUD#also the chapter name!!!#is not about az's shadows! tho it is a fun lil crossover#but u know how you shadow someone.....#that's them rn <3
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The Shadowsinger & The Inkbird: Chapter Twenty-Five
Summary: Y/n's clairvoyance is a gift from the Mother, but it feels more like a curse. With the power to gain knowledge through touch alone, Y/n holes herself up in The Alcove and hopes her powers and parentage will remain a secret. But things will change after the Summer Solstice ball and a chance encounter with a certain Shadowsinger.
Warnings: Physical injury (i.e., Rhys and Cassian recovering post-Koschei), fluff, mating ceremonyyyyyyyyy (y'all I'm so excited I got so emotional writing this one)
The Shadowsinger & The Inkbird: Masterlist
Masterlist of Masterlists
It was strange how the absence of things could be so obvious. How silence could be more obnoxious than a crowded room.
Three weeks had passed since Koschei’s death, and everyone was afraid to bring attention to the glaring absence of Cassian’s arm and Rhysand’s wings.
At every meal, Nesta carefully cut up the Lord of Bloodshed’s food, and every night, Rhysand winnowed up to his bedroom. He no longer needed a wheelchair to move around, but walking up the stairs was a battle he won only half the time.
Azriel’s shadows were still missing. Gone to the wind. But their whispers grew in strength each day and Azriel would strain his ear to hear them. It gave you both hope that they’d return in time.
“Daddy.”
Rhysand froze halfway up the stairs, leaning against the wall with his legs crossed at the ankles. He subtly hid his hand behind his back, concealing the cane he relied on to walk around his own home.
“Yes, Nyx.”
The boy stood with his mother, her hand resting gently on his shoulder. Her wings were on full display, as were Nyx’s, in preparation for their daily flying lessons. For the first time, Rhysand would be unable to join them.
“We’re going flying. Do you… do you want to watch?” Nyx smiled shyly, one arm wrapped around his mother’s leg as he stared at the ground. “I can finally summon my wings during free fall. Just like we practiced.”
Rhysand strained to smile. “Go ahead with your mother. I’ll join you on the balcony soon.”
“Ok,” the boy murmured and walked down the hall towards his parents’ bedroom.
Feyre moved to be with her husband, her wings disappearing in a melting of light. She gently cupped his face in her hands.
“It’s ok, my love,” Rhysand whispered, kissing her palms. Feyre smoothed back the swoop of hair that fell over his forehead. The strands were damp with sweat. “I don’t want you to keep Nyx waiting.”
“Nyx is a patient boy. More patient than his father.”
Rhys chuckled, blinking away tears. It was silly to hide these emotions from Feyre — she felt everything he did — but he wanted to at least try to be strong. To be her equal. Her High Lord.
“Take your time, Rhys.” Her lips brushed against his and a piece of that ache in his chest fizzled out. It was incredible how his mate and wife could ease his burden with such a small touch. “I’ll be waiting with our son.”
The moment Feyre disappeared into their bedroom and shut the door, Rhysand snapped his cane in half. Wood splinters flew out, embedding themselves in the wall and in the staircase, and he threw what remained down the stairs.
Feyre, with all her love and patience, gave him the space to be angry. To grieve. But it helped her to know that Cassian, Azriel, and Emerie were already on their way.
Rhysand made it to the third floor landing without his cane before the pain in his back became impossible to ignore. He sank to the floor.
“Rhys—” The trio crowded around him.
“Don’t say a fucking word, Cass.” They froze beside him, tucking their wings in tight. “I used to think the steps to the House of Wind were hard. Now I can’t even climb the stairs in my own fucking house.”
He hated this. He hated this with a burning passion. He was meant to be High Lord. He should have been at Feyre’s side, shaking out his wings and getting ready to taste the wind with his son. Instead here he was, sweat-soaked and shaking in front of his brothers and Emerie.
After his mother and Selene’s death, he’d promised himself he would never lose his wings. They were a physical reminder of his Illyrian heritage. A heritage which so often went unseen beneath the veneer of a High Lord. Decades spent Under the Mountain had only cemented that promise in blood and salt.
Amarantha may have stolen many things from him, but she’d never taken his wings. She’d never touched them. She’d never even seen them.
Poison-laced calls of Amarantha’s whore and half-breed had always paled in comparison to the freedom of flying. A freedom he no longer had.
“I’m not an Illyrian anymore,” Rhysand whispered grimly. The muscles in his back rolled, and even that small movement sent a thread of pain down his spine.
Cassian and Azriel were stunned into silence. But not Emerie. Her gaze was too piercing, her tone too frank and unrelenting as she said, “My mother died without her wings.”
Rhysand looked up at the female, slender and sharp as a blade.
“At thirty-seven years old her father took a butcher’s knife and hacked them off before burying them in the snow just outside Windhaven.” She cocked her head to the side. “Tell me, was she not an Illyrian then?”
“That’s not what I meant,” Rhysand said pathetically.
“It’s exactly what you meant. But you’re wrong. Your wings don’t make you an Illyrian, Rhys. If they did, myself and over half the females in those camps would have been banished from Illyria a long time ago.”
There was a silence that followed, tense and filled with guilt until Emerie spoke again.
“Do you know what they say about you in the camps? And I’m not talking about the males who whisper half-breed behind your back.”
Rhysand took his head.
“The young females whisper about the day you’ll find them worthy enough to steal away to Velaris — to your precious city you’d never let come to harm. They talk about the shops they’d get to see with the frosted cakes in the windows and the enchanted houses where they wouldn’t have to slave away over a stove or wring towels until their hands bled. That one day, you’ll recognize that they’re dreamers too who’ve only had their worst nightmares come true. The older ones are wiser than that. They don’t talk about escaping to a city they don’t know and don’t love, surrounded by strangers who might call them lesser-fae. They build their lives in the cold, and when the males come to burn it down, they either endure and build it up again, or they fight back however they can.”
Emerie regarded him carefully, eyes halting on his violet eyes and the sharpness of his ears.
“Wings don’t make you an Illyrian,” she repeated, “It’s in your blood. It’s what you're born into and the hands that raise you. Never say “I’m not an Illyrian” again, do you understand me?”
Rhysand swallowed the burning lump in his throat. Touched the short tips of his ears and wiped the tears gathering in his violet eyes.
“Azriel, could you—could you bring me my cane? Please?”
His brother walked down the steps without hesitation and retrieved the broken halves.
It was a thing of beauty and strength, carved from ironwood and stained so dark it may as well have been sliced from a night sky. Rhysand put the two pieces together and closed his eyes.
It was easy, miniscule magic to put the cane back together and far more difficult a feat to stand upright once again. He might have toppled backwards if not for Emerie. She gave him her shoulder to lean against.
“Still an Illyrian,” he murmured.
It was a promise to himself and to his family. To the three Illyrian warriors who had found him.
“Still an Illyrian.” Emerie patted his arm. “I understand you’ll still feel some self-pity for a while. It’s natural, but… try not to do it in a room I’m in.”
“I can do that.” Rhysand leaned against his cane, limping towards his bedroom where his mate and son were waiting. “Oh and Emerie.” She turned her head towards him. “Thank you.”
“Do you want me to just cut it for you?”
“No, I like the way Nesta does it.”
“Since when did you get so picky?”
“Since I lost my fucking arm, Mor.”
You snorted into your glass of wine and Azriel smiled as the pair continued bickering. He kept one hand under the table, rubbing small circles into your thigh. It wasn’t until Nesta decided to grace the early morning with her presence that Cassian turned his attention away from Mor, drawing Nesta down for a kiss.
A fresh bruise painted his cheekbone purple, pink, and blue.
Nesta gripped Cassian’s chin, turning his face to the side for a better look. “Who did this?”
“Emerie,” he said cheerfully. His grin was brighter than the sun.
Today was the first time he’d sparred with anyone since he lost his arm and Emerie hadn’t gone easy on him. On the contrary, she’d taken every advantage her two arms afforded her until Cassian felt more tender than a steak on a butcher’s board. He hadn’t been thrown on his back so many times since the mating frenzy.
It was a dirty, cunning way of fighting and he’d never appreciated the Illyrian female more.
Nesta smirked at her friend with a glint in her eye that looked suspiciously like gratitude.
Emerie only shrugged. She hadn’t experienced the same kind of loss that Cassian and Rhysand had, but she’d learned a great deal after her wing clipping. Carrying limbs that no longer worked was not so different from losing them entirely. It was all about a shifting of control and weight — about finding a new center of gravity and using weakness to your advantage.
“Did you go easy on him?” Nesta asked.
Emerie snorted. “Obviously not.”
“She fractured three ribs, but they’re healed now.”
“Very nice.”
Nesta settled down at her rightful seat beside Cassian and wordlessly cut up his breakfast.
“Thanks, Nes.”
“It’s the least I could do.”
Cassian chuckled and pulled her close until she was nearly in his lap. “Don’t give me so much power, darling.”
She huffed. “What power?”
“The power to win any argument in the future.” He stuck what remained of his right arm into the air and gave it a shake. It was a gentle, teasing reminder of who had cut it off in the first place.
Nesta narrowed her eyes until they were two clips of ice. “Don’t make me regret letting you live.”
“That’s much better.”
Some people needed a gentle touch after horrible events, but there was nothing gentle about Cassian. He’d been born with the wild in his blood. He knew how to adapt and survive, and if surviving meant he would lose his arm and get more time with his mate, it was a trade he was more than happy to make.
Azriel seemed to be in agreement. He never took his eyes off you. More interested in seeing your reaction than hearing which comment had brought it to life.
Feyre nudged Rhys, eyes wide and eyebrows raised as she looked back and forth from her mate to you and Azriel.
Now? Rhys asked.
Yes, now! They’ve been staring at each other for the last thirty minutes. It’s honestly unnerving... Do you think they’ve already accepted the bond?
There’s no way in hell. We would have known.
Azriel’s terribly good at keeping secrets.
The fact that they haven’t been missing the last few months is proof enough.
All the more reason to bring this up now so we can finally put them out of their misery.
Feyre shot to her feet at the head of the table and Rhysand scrambled to attention after her.
“It has come to our attention that we never did say congratulations to a special couple in this room.”
“Oh gods,” Azriel muttered.
Your face turned warm as everyone’s eyes and grins fell upon you and your mate.
“You didn’t think we forgot about your mating bond, did you?” Gwyn teased.
“We were kind of hoping you had,” you said. “Not that we aren’t happy or—” You glanced over at Azriel.
The first night you’d woken up in the Dawn Court you’d tried to crawl into his bones — an odd mixture of desperation and longing urging you to have your way with one other. Now, you were embarrassed to think that the first thing you’d tried to do after nearly dying, was sleep with your mate.
Azriel smiled, bending towards you like a flower seeking sunlight in silent encouragement. It was such a small, natural gesture, and one that everyone noticed. Which also meant they clocked the blush on your cheeks as you gripped Azriel’s hand under the table.
You cleared your throat. “We weren’t sure it was a good time with everything going on. We thought it might be wise to wait before—”
“No more waiting!” Cassian declared, slamming his fist against the table so hard the silverware bounced. “I swear to the fucking gods, if you’re not in the frenzy by the end of the week, Y/n, I’ll have you force feed Azriel myself.”
“We agreed we’d be gentle in our approach,” Elain reminded him.
“There was a plan in place for this?” Lucien sputtered. “And you were a part of it?”
She scoffed and lightly slapped his arm. Elain was a gentle, lovely creature when she wanted to be, and nothing melted her heart more than a good love story.
“I think we are in need of a celebration,” Vassa whispered. It was the first collection of words the firebird had spoken in months.
She’d sat for every meal at Lucien’s side completely silent. But this time, she reached a hand across the table and slid it into yours, squeezing tightly. Flashes of memory passed behind her eyes — memories of Jurian.
They weren’t fae. A mating bond was never in the cards for them. Which was why she felt strongly that you should be greedy with the time you had together. For there was no telling when it would end.
You sucked in a breath. You’d spoken at length about this with Azriel, tossing ideas back and forth during the night when the bond made your blood sing for more contact with the Shadowsinger. More touches.
But you’d agreed that it was inappropriate to have even a private mating ceremony when everyone was hurting. To abandon them and disappear into the frenzy.
Perhaps you’d both been wrong.
Given how quick everyone was to swarm you and Azriel, you were definitely wrong.
Rhysand hobbled over with his cane, kissing your cheek with a loud, obnoxious smack before aggressively disheveling Azriel’s hair.
“The cottage—” Azriel began.
“I’ll have it finished by tonight.” Rhysand promised.
Cassian threw his one good arm around Azriel’s shoulder, tugging him out of his chair and towards the door on a mission. Poor Lucien was also coerced into joining whatever debauchery Cassian had planned for their afternoon. He sulked after the pair with Rhysand.
Nesta, Feyre, and Mor crowded around you, already deliberating which of the many-frequented boutiques in Velaris they would need to visit for your mating ceremony attire.
You were positively overwhelmed by the attention and the realization that this was all happening.
By midnight, you would be mated to the love of your life.
Azriel slipped out from under Cassian’s arm, racing back across the room and falling to his knees. “I need a moment with you.” He breathed, thinly-veiled hunger in his eyes.
One nod was all it took before he was guiding you to the kitchen and slamming the door on everyone’s whistling.
Azriel pressed you against the kitchen door, chest heaving so hard you could feel every beat of his heart against your chest.
You’d both been holding back with each other ever since returning to the Night Court. Propriety and respect for his brothers had demanded you wait to express your love and wanting. You didn’t want to slap them in the face with joy.
But now that you had everyone’s overwhelming approval, well… Azriel was finding it nearly impossible to wait even a moment longer.
He pressed his lips to yours and didn’t let go of his soft grip on your waist until you were both gasping for breath. But then you kissed him back, swallowing his sighs and gentle groans like there was honey on his tongue. Sweet and addictive and—
Rhysand rudely knocked on the door, his sultry voice a purr. “In the kitchen, Azriel? Really? I would have expected more from a gentleman like you.”
“Fuck off, Rhys.”
The High Lord chuckled, but slipped away all the same.
Azriel grinned against your lips, your hands clasped together between your bodies. “I just wanted one last kiss before tonight.”
“Tonight.” You nodded frantically.
Tonight.
You were doing this. You were really doing this.
Then you realized what he’d said. “I won’t see you before then?”
“I don’t think the others will let us.”
Your laughs rang in the air, bouncing off the kitchen cabinets like wedding bells.
On the other side of your door you could feel everyone’s anticipation. And you couldn't keep them waiting much longer. They might just break down the door.
“I’ll see you tonight.” You whispered before stealing one last kiss.
“Tonight.” Azriel agreed. His breath curled around your ear, lips brushing against the tip as he promised, “Until then.”
Feyre, Nesta, Gwyn, Emerie, Elain, and Mor descended upon the Palace of Thread and Jewels, all too eager to heap your arms full of the most expensive lace money could buy.
You were about to marry into the Night Court and had a High Lord father who needed to make up for centuries of fatherly absence. There was more than enough gold to throw around.
“What do you think of this?” Feyre asked, draping the pale blue silk over your shoulder.
The clothier’s shop was bustling in the late morning, but no one dared step foot into the private room your family was set up in. The enchanted curtain blocked out all noise — tthe pinnacle of privacy.
You stood alone on a low platform, swishing the skirts of your dress and imagining what the finished product might look like.
Farron, the clothier, had been quick to stitch a muslin mock up of the design you’d chosen, knotted fingers shocking in their dexterity as needle and thread disappeared and reappeared in her hand like some trick of the eye. She hadn’t even taken your measurements. One spin with your arms outstretched and she’d set about cutting the exact length of material needed for your mating ceremony gown.
It was no wonder that she was Rhysand’s preferred clothier.
It still felt like a dream. Some wonderful, impossible dream as you took in the sight of the fabric over your chest.
It glistened like moonlight and flowed like river water.
“Feyre, it’s perfect,” You breathed, touching the silken threads beneath your fingertips.
“An excellent choice,” Farron said with a smile. She stood dutifully off to the side, tortoise-rimmed glasses growing her eyes to bug-like proportions.
You were a lovely thing in her eyes. A fine match for the Shadowsinger, indeed.
Now, no one had told her that that was the cause for celebration. But she’d been clothing the Night Court males for a long while and knew them like the back of her hand. And you? You were made for the Shadowsinger. That much was clear.
It was from centuries of experience that she classified the soft parting of your mouth and wide eyes. It was the look mates and brides alike adopted when they’d found the perfect dress. The one that would make them feel as perfect and precious as a pearl.
Your brows furrowed in concern. “My mating ceremony is tonight. Will it be ready by then?”
“Pfffft.” The clothier slapped her chest indignantly. “It will be ready in three hours time. You can return once after you’ve finished your shopping and we’ll have a final ceremony look ready for you, my dear.”
With a dress being sewn together at Farron’s, Mor hurried you along to what she believed was the most critical part of any mating ceremony dress — the lingerie. The ordeal left a permanent blush on your cheeks as you quickly moved on to the shoemaker and then the jeweler.
“Which one did you decide on?” Mor asked once again. She trailed at your heels, resting her chin on your shoulder as you kept your wares clutched to your chest.
“I’m not telling you.”
“Why not?” She whined. Red fingernails grazed the tissue paper that peaked out from the edges of the lingerie box.
“Because that is for Azriel to know, and only Azriel,” you said, snatching the box out of her grasp.
Nesta laughed. “What does it matter which pair she’s picked? It’s not like it will survive the first night of the frenzy.”
Your cheeks burned with color.
Mor giggled at your shyness. “Don’t act coy now, Y//n. We all know what you four read in your free time.”
“Don’t act like you don’t benefit, love.” Emerie teased, squeezing Mor’s hip.
“I never suggested such a thing.”
Gwyn gagged when they kissed and everyone broke apart into fits of laughter in the streets, leaning against shoulders and stumbling on the cobblestones as they caught their breath.
You were pressed in on all sides by familiar bodies, a comforting mixture of perfumes, and the sounds of laughter.
It’s happening. It’s really happening.
Your grin could have put the sun to shame as you bounced on your heels in front of the mirror.
Pale blue silk dipped down to the center of your chest and fell off your shoulders like mist. Wide, airy sleeves hovered at your elbows, ending in curls of hand-woven lace. A pair of ribbon-tie shoes and ear-tip cuffs completed the ensemble.
They were both blue for Azriel — for your mate — who currently stood awestruck by the door.
You didn’t startle when you caught a sliver of his reflection in the mirror. In fact, you were rather pleased to see his slack jaw and glistening eyes.
“What do you think?” You asked as Azriel slipped out from the darkness and into your old bedroom.
You hardly stepped foot in here anymore. Azriel’s bedroom had solidly become yours. Your clothes were mixed in with his. Your perfume bottles and soaps lined his bathroom. Your scent was tied to his bed, or rather your bed.
“I think… I think you’re a dream, Y/n.” He spoke with a sigh.
He melted into the curve of your neck, hands ghosting over your shoulders with a feather-light touch.
He shook his head, as if disappointed.
“No,” he corrected himself, “You’re far better than a dream because you’re real, and I can’t believe you’re mine.”
“I could say the same about you,” you whispered.
You leaned back against his chest and breathed deeply, feeling your heart soothe itself to the rhythm of his breathing and the scent of mountain air and cedar trees.
He was beautiful. Black velvet encased his broad shoulders, cutting out a silhouette of pitch black night and highlighting the glow of his hazel eyes — like two chips of amber aglow in a dark wood.
You couldn’t stop yourself from staring and threading your fingers into his soft, black curls, eliciting a soft groan from his lips that had your blood stirring to life.
“I thought we were supposed to meet downstairs.”
Azriel smiled. “I selfishly wanted to be the first to see you.”
“That’s not selfish at all,” You hummed. You began tracing the gold cuffs that spanned the length of his ears and the subtle embroidery at the wrists and front of his shirt. They were distinctly Day Court fashions, and he wore them well. “These are new.”
“I may or may not have reached out to your father for advice when picking out my clothes.”
“I like them. Day Court colors suit you. They bring out the gold flecks in your eyes.”
Azriel smiled, kissing the curve of your ears and playing with the sapphire necklace clasped around your neck. The drag of metal and fingertips over your chest had you shivering.
You gently tugged at his hair and he obeyed the unspoken command to lean down and capture your lips in a kiss. Soft sounds spilled from both of you as he walked you back towards the wall and gently pressed you against it, flatting his hands by the sides of your head.
Azriel got lost in the taste of you. Your hands in his hair. The feeling of your hips flush against his. Every movement was subtle, but eager, in its wanting and Azriel knew that when he finally had you beneath him, he’d be ruined… If he wasn’t ruined already.
There was another reason he’d wanted to see you first before relinquishing you to the formalities of a mating ceremony.
He’d been on edge all day, unused to being the unbridled center of attention among his brothers. Cassian was brash and loud, Rhysand flirtatious and passionate. Even Lucien radiated an undeniable charisma that made him popular within crowds.
But Azriel had always prized quiet and peace above all else. He wanted to feel that peace again.
The bond rose within him like high tide, spilling color and light into his chest as you pressed your forehead against his and cradled the curve of his neck.
He breathed deep and he breathed freely, feeling something in his soul mend itself with a roll of anticipation. A tendril of cold wrapped around his ear and whispered in a language only Azriel could understand.
Too long, master. It’s been too long.
Azriel’s eyes flew open. He’d nearly forgotten the shape of their words — the language that he’d been taught to speak after years spent in the dark. Months of soft spoken words he could barely make out became a chorus of congratulations as they sensed the connection that now bound you and Azriel together.
They’d known about it since the beginning, but now that you were also aware, they were ecstatic.
Black shadows spilled out from his skin, eagerly wrapping you up in a shell of twisting darkness. They embraced you, kissing your cheeks with cool, feathery touches.
Azriel swallowed your laughter, hands diving down and lifting up your dress so he could squeeze your thighs and wrap your legs around him.
It was a kiss made of teeth and longing and relief. With his shadows having returned and a mating bond ready to be accepted, Azriel felt invincible. Like he was cradling the world in his arms.
But it was ended all too soon by a shadow in his ear that warned, They’re almost at the door.
Gods he missed having them around.
You gasped, picking up on the sound of Lucien and Helion’s strong footsteps coming towards the door. They were supposed to walk you downstairs before handing you off to your mate, and although Azriel had made leaps and bounds in earning their blessing you didn’t think they’d take kindly to seeing the Shadowsinger flush between your legs just before your mating ceremony.
“Shit.” You hissed, untangling yourself from Azriel as he fixed your dress and struggled to hide his laughter.
You pushed him backwards, masking both your scents and shoving him inside the wardrobe.
“My Y/n, what are you doing?” Azriel asked. He needed to bend just to fit inside the empty wardrobe. His eyes glittered with amusement, shadows pooling around his wings.
“I-I was going to try and hide you before my father and brother come inside but” — a handful of shadows curled around your wrists and ankles, intent on becoming permanent fixtures for as long as you were separated from your mate — “I see that’s not necessary anymore.”
Azriel grinned and pulled you in for one last kiss. “I’ll see you downstairs,” he whispered just as Lucien’s polite knock came at the door.
“I’ll see you downstairs.”
His shadows swirled around him and he melted into the darkness.
Mating ceremonies were fluid, adaptable affairs. They could be as extravagant and public or as humble and private as one desired. It made no difference. You were his, and he was yours. Now and forever.
You would have accepted the bond with Azriel in your father’s palace or in a desert wasteland. Still, you had to agree that home was best.
The largest room in the River House — the dining room — had been cleared out for the purpose of your mating ceremony. Candlelight flickered atop the fireplace mantle where you, Azriel, and the priestess stood, and within sconces dripping with wisteria and baby’s breath along the wall. The light of a thousand lanterns, gauzy and warm, lit up the gardens outside the House.
“All kneel,” the priestess said, holding out two crowns of lavender and lilies of the valley.
Everyone kneeled in a loose half-circle.
Her dusty blue robes brushed against the floor as she placed the crown atop Azriel’s head and then yours. At her instruction, you shifted on the floor, facing each other with smiles that couldn’t be contained.
Azriel’s eyes burned bright, as if all the gold in the world had been distilled and dropped into them.
You took the candles the priestess held out, holding them in your left hand and clasping together your right.
Azriel snuck a quick kiss to your palm before the priestess could wrap your wrists and hands together with ribbons of blue and gold. She drifted her fingers over the candles and lit them with a flourish.
Before the Mother, the priestess, and your family, you exchanged your vows.
Secret glances passed between you and the Shadowsinger. Brief smiles tugged at the corners of your lips. Squeezing hands soothed your soul and grounded you in the present as you spoke the words together:
I give to you the hands of a warrior, lover, friend, and mate, till the darkness comes and our endings wake.
I give to you my name, to hold on your lips and to pass on your years in hope and longing, in joy and tears.
Blood of blood. Bone of bone. I shall be yours, and you shall be mine.
Until we return to the earth and hear the Mother’s song. Until the end of our days—
“Until death and beyond,” Azriel whispered the final vows.
“Until death and beyond,” you replied.
“Who the hell spilled the champagne!”
The floor was already sticky with it, grabbing onto Rhysand’s shoes as he stepped out of the puddle. A guilty Feyre chugged the last dregs in the bottle, magicking away the spill with a snap of her fingers and a sultry wink towards her mate. She shrieked with laughter when Rhys limped over to her, collapsing around her shoulders and blowing kisses against her neck.
Nyx sat at Amren’s feet on the floor, struggling to hold his violet eyes open as she scratched his head with her silver-tipped nails. Amren was not one for parties and regarded the room with bored eyes.
Mor sat in the seat of honor — Emerie’s lap — whispering gossip in the Illyrian’s ear as you and Azriel tried to make yourselves sparse in the corner.
You were half-hidden behind Azriel’s wings as he leaned his head against your shoulder. Leave it to you two to hide at your own mating ceremony.
Lucien and Elain drank wine by the kitchen. She left her hand comfortably on his upper arm and smiled when he tucked a strand of wavy brown hair behind her ear. They were a handsome couple — all pale colors and golden gazes, like sunshine spilling over a new day.
Helion, entertaining as always, dazzled the group that had assembled around him composed of Gwyn, Feyre, Rhysand, Cassian, and Nesta. Every so often his bright eyes would land on you and he’d wink before pointing threateningly in Azriel’s direction.
Azriel’s shoulders shook with silent laughter and he dipped his lips to your ears and asked, “Do you think he’ll ever approve of me?”
“He already approves of you, he just doesn’t want you to know.”
“He’s a smart male for keeping such a secret. My ego may grow too big for you to handle if he compliments me outright.”
“Didn’t he once invite you to his bed?”
“That’s not very special coming from Helion.”
You burst out laughing, attracting everyone’s attention as you buried your face in Azriel’s chest to stifle the noise. He laughed aloud as well. Head thrown back, chest and shoulders shaking. It was a full-bodied laugh that harmonized with yours as he wrapped his arms around you and rubbed your back.
Azriel’s laughter had once been a rare sound, but you drew it out of him so easily, like a musician with their instrument.
Feyre grinned and clapped her hands together. All at once the dining room rearranged itself. The candle flames grew brighter. A table laden with food and chairs popped into existence.
For such a special occasion, you and Azriel sat at the head of the table, subtly leaning against one another with your legs tangled beneath the tablecloth as you ate.
There was a cake still waiting to be cut in the kitchen — a cake that you’d baked with Azriel’s name written all over it in invisible ink.
Nyx twisted around in his chair, eyes utterly fixated on the seemingly endless rows of lanterns glowing in the garden.
“Mom.” Nyx tugged on Feyre’s wrist as she cleaned his cheek. “When will I get to float the lanterns?”
Feyre looked to you and Azriel.
The lanterns were an old Day Court tradition. On the longest night of the year, Day Court citizens dared to step outside into the dark and light up the sky with their own sun-painted lanterns. It was a way to keep the darkness at bay for a little while longer. A time to add your own light to the night sky.
“Now,” you smiled. “Let’s do it now.”
You all spilled out into the gardens, cheering Nyx on as he raced ahead of everyone else with short, energetic strides. His wings flared out behind him, catching the name of the wind as it whispered against the velvety membrane.
“Not yet!” Rhys reminded him. “You need to let your aunt and uncle go first.”
You and Azriel picked up the largest lantern of them all, delicate rice paper crinkling as you held it up. The starburst-shaped lantern glowed faintly. A burning sun. A fallen star.
Everyone bent over in the flowers and grasses, hunting to find the second-best lantern for themselves.
“This one’s for Velaria,” Nyx said, holding up a small, round orb. “This one’s for you, Daddy.” A pale lavender lantern was placed carefully in his father’s hand. “And this one’s for Mommy.”
“Why thank you, honey.” Feyre bent low, kissing her son’s velvety black hair as she held Velaria in her arms.
“Is everyone ready?” You called out.
Cheers sounded from all around. Particularly energetic whoops came from Cassian and Mor, who tipped back their heads and howled like wolves, ready to throw their lanterns to the sky.
Azriel tucked you beneath the curve of his wings and pressed a gentle kiss against your temple before you both let your magic seep into the lantern and sent it skywards.
There was chatter from all sides. Soft gasps leaving open-mouth stares as a dozen lanterns started drifting upwards like miniature suns.
“It’s all you, Nyx!” Azriel shouted.
The boy leapt into action, finding the tallest patch of ground in the garden to make his directorial debut. He fixed the tilt of his bowtie and bent his knees. Slowly and dramatically he curled his fingers, raising his hands upwards like he meant to pull water out of the ground.
He looked like an orchestra conductor leading his players in a great crescendo as the remaining one-thousand lanterns took off into the night sky.
You gasped and flung your hands up to your lips. Three hundred and forty-three years you’d been alive, and this was the most beautiful sight you’d ever seen.
You turned to Azriel only to find that he was already staring at you — at the light of a thousand suns reflected in your eyes.
You found yourself proven wrong, and not for the first time. The lanterns were only the second most beautiful sight… and you wanted to see more.
Azriel read the idea forming in your mind and nodded.
Without hesitation, you took his hand, slinking through the now darkening garden as everyone else’s attention was directed towards the sky.
Lanterns arced through the darkness, staining the sky warm orange as if a painter had swept her brush over the black canvas.
Shadows nipped at your heels and covered your tracks, urging you onward as you slipped back into the House and then the kitchen.
You didn’t even bother cutting the cake. After rummaging around in the kitchen drawers for a spoon, you carved out a spoonful of chocolate cake with strawberries and a healthy dollop of whipped cream frosting — Azriel’s favorite.
The Shadowsinger froze, eyes darting back and forth between the cake and your flushed face. Your eyes glowed in the dim light, marked by a quiet, otherworldly beauty Azriel had never been able to resist.
“Don’t tell me you’re second guessing this now?” You breathed, moving the spoon closer to his lips.
“I just… I just want to make sure I remember everything about tonight,” he whispered.
He adjusted the crown of lavender and lilies on your head, picking up a loose flower petal that had drifted onto your bare shoulders. His touch was soft. Gentle. Reverent as he trailed his fingers up your neck and brushed his thumb along your jaw.
His lips closed around the spoon, dragging off every crumb and lick of frosting while never taking his eyes off of you.
It was probably a delicious cake, but all Azriel would remember was the taste of your lips that followed as he drew you to his body.
When the bond had first snapped for him, he thought the world had cracked in two. Like the sharp clap of lightning across the sky.
What followed after the sugar and chocolate melted on his tongue was the thunder — a resounding tremor as the bond glowed hot as iron before cooling into something permanent and unbreakable.
Azriel let out a breathless noise. Something between a sigh and a shudder. He clutched your back, nails dragging lightly along your exposed skin in a way that had you melting.
“I want to go. Now.” You rasped.
You wanted him desperately. More than words could describe.
Azriel scooped you up into his arms, and together you vanished into the shadows before anyone even realized you were missing.
<- Previous Chapter Next Chapter ->
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Author's Note:
Y'all, I just love Y/n and Azriel so much...
THEY FUCKING DESERVE A PROPER MATING CEREMONY LIKE DAMNIT THEY BOTH NEARLY DIED LIKE 3X AND YES I'M GOING TO WRITE A SEX SCENE NEXT CHAPTER, I DON'T CARE, THEY DESERVE THIS, Y'ALL DESERVE THIS FOR PUTTING UP WITH ME FOR THE LAST 6 MONTHS AND OVER 100K WORDS LIKE YOU ARE THE TRUE MVPs AND I APPRECIATE YOU IMMENSELY!!! (*but also, if you're not into reading smut scenes, I'll write the next chapter in such a way that you can just skip over it and not miss anything continuity-wise)
THANK YOU FOR READING!
We're almost at the end I've got like two chapters left, one of which is already mostly written, and maybe the epilogue will be it's own thing or part of the last chapter i don't know and just UGH it's almost over... ok i'm going to end this author's note here because I'm getting sad just thinking about this fic ending
^^ my reaction when I realize I've almost finished the longest/most intensive writing project in my life born out of love for the romantasy genre
^^ my reaction when I realize I've almost finished the longest/most intensive writing project in my life born out of love for the romantasy genre
#the shadowsinger and the inkbird#azriel x reader#azriel x y/n#azriel shadowsinger#azriel x you#acotar fanfiction#azriel x reader slowburn#acotar#azriel x reader angst#ok but also now that Rhys lost his wings maybe he'll actually do more to stop wing clippings and female mutilation in Illyria 👀#I said what I said
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Just a naughty little Azriel fantasy drabble
Warnings: 18+ as always for smut, birchin fun
Imagine that it’s winter and you and Az escape to the cabin for a weekend getaway, you’re fully seated on him in the birchin with your legs thrown over his spread knees, leaving you open and vulnerable to the steaming room. The combination of his sweat and your wetness glistens on the inside of his golden thighs, the rise and fall of his bare muscled chest presses against your naked back as you relax into him, one scarred hand massages your peaked nipple while the other rubs your clit with teasing pressure, his low voice alternates between whispering delicious filth and the most romantic words of adoration you’ve ever heard into your ear while his shadows hum contentedly, swirling lazily around the two of you.
You throw your head back onto his shoulder and he brings the hand on your breast up to clasp your neck with a light squeeze of pressure on the sides, just enough to restrict blood flow a bit, resulting in an intoxicating buzz. He adjusts the angle of your jaw so that he can bring his head down to kiss you, HARD, tongue completely dominating yours while the fingers of his other hand keeps its rhythm with those teasing circles right where you need him most.
#acotar#sarah j maas#a court of thorns and roses#azriel#birchin#Shadowsinger#acotar smut#Azriel smut#day dreaming#ok maybe I had a dream about this last night
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WIP THURSDAY SNIPPET || WBITD
Or, what happens when someone tries to harm Elain on a battlefield and Azriel happens to witness it. TW gore / violence.
Azriel swings first and thinks second.
The male’s jaw cracks and it’s a beautiful sound.
He yanks the Monteserite filth by the neck of his armor to a nearby boulder at the river’s edge.
The dagger Elain plunged into the scum's back is still protruding. He tears it from its bloody grave, twisting it crudely on the way out.
The male arches in agony.
Azriel pins him against the rock, looks him dead in the eye, and then rams the dagger through his eye socket.
The filth screams like a dying pig and Azriel revels in silent delight.
He pivots the soldier to face the boulder properly and then slams his head against the granite stone. Driving the blade fully through.
Blood splatters in a divine symphony.
Elain’s lovely melody cuts through it all, murmuring something akin to “oh dear-” somewhere far off.
The waterlogged rawness of her vocal chords fuels his fury to new levels.
Gore sprays as Azriel bashes the soldier’s head once more against the granite.
Something reasonable, like stopping, occurs to him- and is instantly fleeting. He has an outlet for his fury now and no intention of leashing it.
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gwyn makes az's shadows sing and she'll eventually make azriel's heart sing
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Lonely is the muse
art for @somnolentsoul’s fic “eternal heartbeat of flight” who unfortunately deactivated and deleted their works 💔
that was an absolutely beautiful fic honestly the way azriels grief was portrayed was devastating
if you ever do decide to put your work on the internet i will be first in line to read xx
(ps im so sorry for the shitty quality it looks sm better on my ipad i promise)
#acotar#azriel#acotar fanart#azris#digital art#pro azriel#digital illustration#digital painting#small artist
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More for our acotar secret santa exchange. Combining @taymartiart's love for fae with her love for wrestling.
#my art#acotar#acotar fanart#tamlin#lucien vanserra#rhysand#feyre archeron#amarantha#cassian#azriel#wrestling fae for tay#ok maybe amarantha is a treat for me#happy holidays tay
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The acotar subreddit is actually hilarious sometimes.
#ok but like thoughts#i’m not going first#acotar#a court of thorns and roses#acotar subreddit#lucien vanserra#azriel shadowsinger#rhysand#tamlin#cassian#eris vanserra
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like i fr can’t comprehend how they’ve been in charge for so long and ZERO progress has been made. “the court of dreams” BITCH WAKE UP YOU’RE THE FUCKING GOVERNMENT, CAN YOU LIKE GOVERN??
#it’s always they banned wing clipping….. ok then where are all the illyrian girls who can fly🧌#also hewn city is literally living under a prison like what the hell😭😭#acotar#anti rhysand#anti cassian#anti azriel#idiot fucking yamheads my grandma is a better leader than y’all
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Listen - hands are hard and I am not an artist, but I saw this Spirk post earlier and had a moment of inspiration.
Of course my brain immediately went, "but make it Azris."
And so here it is.
#don't tell me if you hate it#hands are really hard ok?#also - i know az has scars but my skill level just isnt there#azris fanart#azris#azriel shadowsinger#eris vanserra#eris vandaddy#acotar#azriel x eris
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People saying that Azriel feeling unworthy of Elain is a bad thing as if every male character of every romance book doesn’t say at least once “I don’t deserve her”
#have they ever read romances?#it’s a literal classic#Azriel needs to work on his self esteem and it’s ok#also how can he feel unworthy of her and entitled at the same time?#the mental gymnastics are insane#Azriel#pro elain#pro elriel#elriel#elain archeron#pro azriel#elain x azriel#acotar
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In my Gwynriel (spicy) Era...
Hear me out...
Gwyn would and Azriel would enjoy...
#gwyneth#gwynriel#azriel#pro gwynriel#pro gwyneth berdara#pro azriel#gwynriel spice#they would ok?#he's a freak#he's her good boy
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I wrote a little something and not sure if I’ll share in full here but here’s a little snippet of soft Gwynriel:
{EDIT: Full story on the reblog}
#ok bye#sjm give us peace#my maas wishlist#booknerd#wandering mind#gwynriel headcanon#pro gwynriel#azriel and gwyn#azriel x gwyn#gwyn and azriel#gwyn and azriel make the most sense
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A Court of Fallen Stardust
Giving this writing thing a try. Here's the full list to the AO3 links! 💫
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Some warnings & info ✨
This is a story about Azriel and Rhys' sister.
This story will contain mature content frequently throughout chapters. Violence, abuse, smut, etc.!
I’ll be posting chapter updates on here with links attached to AO3! You can still read even if you don’t have an account :)
Pls be kind! I'm new and have never done anything like this. This is just for fun and I'm still working through everything.
If you wanna read on Tumblr, all the full chapters will be under the acofs tag!
#acofs#masterlist#oh god I’m scareddd#ok I’m ab to do it#IM DOING IT#azriel fanfic#azriel acotar#azriel#azriel x rhys!sister
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