#Anyways I had to rant for a moment but I hope you all can hear me out thanks-

[patantasma]

Controversial opinion incoming but I'm tired of hiding it. Dorren is so pretty and yet anytime I talk about it I get silenced but NO MORE!!

Plus look at how well she's drawn in the advancement tests promotional art! SHE'S GORGEOUS!!

[storiesforallfandoms]

by the lake ~ benedict bridgerton;bridgerton

word count: 2675

request?: no

description: in which she flees from a pushy suitor, only to find a lovely alternative painting by the lake

pairing: benedict bridgerton x female!reader

warnings: period accurate stuff, use of y/n

masterlist (one, two, three)

Whenever perpetual bachelors would moan about the courting season, I couldn't help but laugh. Sure, eager mamas trying to force a connection with their daughters could be tiring, but as a man it was fine to turn down potential wives and live a life of bachelordom. For women, that wasn't an option. The moment we come of age we are expected to find a husband and bare children. If we don't, we are spinsters that essentially become outcasted from society.

Not to mention that some male suitors can be just as pushy as the eager mamas.

One example of this was Lord Windsor, a middle aged Lord who had gone a number of seasons without finding a wife and had gotten noticeably desperate. Lord Windsor was okay on the eyes, but not overly handsome. He came from a prominent family, but was the youngest of the three brothers. And, the worst of all, he had the personality of a wet napkin. He was awkward and bored anyone he spoke to to tears.

And I was his current victim.

I was attending an event in town with my family when Lord Windsor's attention fell on me. He began talking to me - or rather at me - not noticing how desperately I was trying to escape him. I kept trying to make eye contact with anyone who passed by to try and silently ask for help. Some gave me a sympathetic look as they passed by, while others merely snickered at my misery.

I was becoming overwhelmed with his persistence. I would do anything to get away from him.

In a moment of desperation, I said, "Can you get me a drink? I am parched."

He seemed almost perturbed by my request, but went off to get me a drink anyways. Once he had mostly disappeared into the crowd, I turned and ran off. I had no idea where I was going, but I needed to get away. Not only from Lord Windsor, but from any other desperate and pushy suitor who would try and approach me.

I found myself stumbling down a trail and coming out by a lake. It was peaceful - the water bright blue and calm, and the area was empty. Well, almost empty. There was a gentleman sat facing the water, with a canvas set up in front of him, painting a lovely portrait of the calming lake. I gasped as he turned and I recognized who it was: Benedict Bridgerton.

"I-I am so sorry," I said. "I did not realize - "

"No need to apologize," he said, smiling at me. Oh my, his smile was so handsome. "This is a public place. I lay no claim to it. And I will not complain about the company of a beautiful lady."

I felt my cheeks light on fire at his compliment.

He glanced behind me, as if expecting someone else to be there. I realized then that by fleeing Lord Windsor, I had also left behind my mother, who was supposed to be my chaperon to the event. Now I was here, alone with a man, far away from the event. It would be a scandal if anyone found out, and the Bridgerton family had had enough scandals in the last year or so.

"I should go," I said, turning to leave.

"I don't mind some company," he said. "And perhaps a lady should not wander on her own."

"I suppose not."

Benedict gestured to a nearby bench. I sat down and watched as he returned to his painting. It was a truly beautiful creation. Better than some of the portraits mama had on her wall. It was a perfect recreation of the scene in front of him.

I had heard about Benedict's artistic abilities. The whole Ton had. It was quite the surprise when Benedict Bridgerton, one of the most sought after bachelors in the Ton, had decided to pursue art instead of a wife. Many hopeful debutantes thought that he would only do it for a short period of time before finally taking a wife. I could still hear mama ranting about it after reading that morning's Whistledown. But watching him now, I could see his talent and passion for the art. I didn't blame him for not wanting to give this up just to get married when he clearly had no desire to take a wife.

"What are you doing out here by yourself?"

I jumped when his voice broke the silence. He turned to smirk at me and I felt my face light on fire, as if he had caught me doing something wrong.

"I was attending the event in town but...I needed some space," I explained.

"Ah, I understand. Those events can be tiresome. Many people either gossiping or trying too hard to remain in some arbitrary social circles."

"You are one to speak when your family is part of the most respected social circle."

"I did call it arbitrary, did I not?"

I chuckled and nodded. "Yes, I suppose you are right. My biggest plight are the suitors, though."

Benedict paused with his hand raised to his canvas. He lowered the brush back into the paint to look at me again. "You are unmarried?"

I nodded. "Not for the lack of trying on my mother's part. I just haven't met anyone that I click with yet. Unfortunately, the marriage pool is becoming very shallow. I was being pursued by Lord Windsor today."

Benedict cringed. "Oh, I definitely understand your need to get away then. Lord Windsor is...a man...to say the least."

"That is one way to describe him."

He smiled. I watched him run his brush through the cup of water before drying it in a cloth and standing. I watched as he began to pack away his painting supplies. "What are you doing?"

"I have a carriage waiting by the road. I am going to bring my art supplied back there, then I will walk with you around the lake before returning you to your family in the town." I opened my mouth to protest, but he cut me off by saying, "I was finished with my painting anyways, and I must make an appearance there, no matter how brief it is. I would not mind arriving with such a beautiful lady on my arm."

He knew exactly how to shut me up and he had only met me moments prior. My mouth shut instantly and, for a third time in such a short period of time, I felt like I was blushing. Benedict smiled at me again, almost triumphant, before going to his carriage with his art supplies. I remained seated on the bench until his returned, in which he extended his arm to me and I took it.

Our sides were pressed firmly together as we began to walk. My arm, hip, nearly my legs if it were not for my dress, were pressed against his. The parts that were touching started to feel warm and fuzzy. I wondered for a moment if there was something wrong with me, until I looked up at Benedict and his eyes met mine, and suddenly that warm and fuzzy feeling was running through my entire body.

Of course I always knew Benedict Bridgerton was attractive. I had eyes that could see his beauty, and I had ears that could hear all the gossip from other mamas and debutantes about him. But being here, with my arm laced through his and our bodies so close together, was much different than observing him from afar.

"How many seasons have you been through?" he asked, breaking me from my thoughts.

"This is my third," I responded. He gave me a look that made me giggle. "What?"

"You were not married in your first season?"

"I believe that is what I said, yes. Why is that so hard to believe?"

"Well, forgive me for sounding like a broken record, but you are incredibly beautiful. If I know anything from my years observing the marriage markets, it is that beautiful women usually have a very easy time finding a husband."

"I am flattered by your compliments, and you would be right that I had no shortage of suitors asking to court me, but the thing is is that I am looking for something that many seem to think is impossible: a love match."

Benedict scoffed. "Impossible? I have three siblings that would argue with you there."

"They are exceptions, not the rules. Of course there are people who marry for love, but there are still others who only believe in marrying for looks and for titles. And it seems there are very few suitors who are looking for a love match. Most of them just want a beautiful lady who they can take to bed and produce heirs with, and once that job is done they will return to the brothels."

"You would get along exceptionally with my sister, Eloise."

I smiled. I squeezed his arm a little as I asked, "Why have you not married then, Mr. Bridgerton?"

"Please, call me Benedict," he said. "Which reminds me, I have no caught your name yet."

"(Y/N)," I told him. "And do not avoid my question."

"I would never!" he said in mock offense. "My answer is just more selfish than yours."

"That does not make me want to hear it any less."

He chuckled. "I have just never had the desire to take a wife. My older brother, Anthony, is the Viscount, he was the one expected to find a wife and produce little Viscount heirs. Daphne was the first daughter to come of age to join the season, and her love match has made our mother much more intent on having similar experiences for my other sisters. Colin, Gregory, and I are not under the same pressure as our other siblings. Colin had his travels, Gregory is far too young to consider marriage as it is, and I have my art. I thought Colin and I were in agreement about our thoughts on marriage, but it seems he has changed his mind."

"Have you?"

"Have I what?"

"Changed your mind?"

Benedict stopped walking a moment, pulling me to a halt next to him. He looked thoughtful for a moment before he said, "I have not decided."

We continued to walk in silence for a while. It was a beautiful day, and the lake was an ideal place to be. The water shimmered under the bright sun, still calm without a single ripple, and the sky was clear without a single cloud. It was a beautiful day, and I was walking with Benedict Bridgerton. It truly could not be a better day.

"Your painting was beautiful, by the way," I told him. "I understand why you would choose art. You have quite the talent for it."

"Thank you," he said. I could see a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. One that was genuine, maybe a bit flustered at the compliment.

"What do you do with your art? Do you sell it or hang it yourself?"

"Oh no, my mother usually takes whatever I paint and hangs it around the estate. I think most of the artwork in our house is all mine now. She loves to gush over what I have painted, almost embarrassingly so."

"Well, I would love to have one for my home, if you do not mind having another client."

He looked down at me. "Really?"

I nodded. "I believe your painting to be more beautiful than some of my own mama's choices of artwork. But keep that between us."

He smiled. "I will not tell a soul."

We began walking up a path that led back to the town, and suddenly I could heard the bustling of the event. The light and happy feeling I had since running into Benedict had slowly began to fade into dread as I realized what our arrival at the event meant. With any luck, my mother would want to leave the second she found me and I would not have to endure Lord Windsor for any longer.

I expected to be surrounded the second we came into view. I thought, for some reason, that mama would know of my disappearance and would be worried sick. I expected lots of questioning, and then for her to whisk me away quickly where she would likely continue to question me at home.

To my surprise, no one approached us at first. No one even noticed our arrival for a few moments, until one person glanced at Benedict and I as we walked past, and then did a double take to make sure they had seen correctly. Suddenly, there were dozens of prying eyes and hushed voices, with us at the centre of all their attention.

"I told you," Benedict whispered in my ear. "All gossiping."

"Seems we may find ourselves in the next issue of Whistledown," I said.

Benedict gave me a playful smile and said, "May as well make that count then."

He led me through the crowds of people, all whispering and watching us go. I was beginning to feel a little insecure under all their watchful eyes, until I noticed Lord Windsor as one of the many who was watching us. His face looked sullen as he watched us go by, holding two cups in his hand - he still had the drink I sent him to get. The thought of him standing around with it in his hand this whole time made me giggle to myself, and then I found myself standing up straighter and leaning into Benedict more. Lord Windsor seemed to have gotten the message loud and clear.

I found my mama with a group of other mothers, and when we began to approach they all fell silent. Mama looked at us and her eyes widened with shock.

"Mr. Bridgerton," she said, looking between myself and Benedict. "How lovely it is to see you."

"I hope you do not mind my borrowing of your daughter, my lady," Benedict said. "She was most excellent company for a walk around the lake nearby."

Mama looked to me like she was trying to figure out why I had left without telling her. I merely smiled at her, mentally willing her to leave that question until we returned home.

"Of course I do not mind at all, Mr. Bridgerton," mama said. "Although, next time I do hope there shall be a chaperone with you."

I opened my mouth to tell her there would be no next time, but Benedict cut me off by saying, "Of course. I was hoping to call on her tomorrow afternoon, if that is alright with you."

Mama seemed just as dazed as I was. She managed to stutter out an agreement, which amused Benedict to no end. She turned back to her friends as Benedict and I stepped away to speak once more.

"You are giving her some false hope," I told him.

"What do you mean?"

"You are making her believe that you are going to court me. She will be more heartbroken than I when she realizes that is not the case."

"Who said I do not intend to court you?"

It was my turn to be at a loss for words. I tried to form a coherent sentence, but I just stood there with my mouth open, no doubt looking tremendously stupid.

"You seem like a lovely lady, (Y/N)," Benedict said when I could not find the words to say. "I truly did enjoy our time together today. I would like to spend more time with you, if you would allow it. And I must bring that painting to you at some point, remember?"

I nodded. "Yes. Yes, I would very much like to spend more time with you as well."

His smile was bright and genuine once again. I couldn't help but smile back at him. "Perfect. I shall see you tomorrow afternoon then."

"Yes. I suppose you shall."

[enwoso]

I MISS YOU, I'M SORRY — alessia russo

based loosely off the song by gracie abram’s. i rewrote this three times and i’ve got it to where i’m happy with it. wouldn’t say it’s my best but hey ho. if there’s part that don’t make sense i do apologise i wrote some of this while being half asleep🙃

ANYWAYS hope you all enjoy! it’s a long one<33

masterlist

"i miss you" her raspy voice echoed down your phone, as she slurred over and over how she missed you. the sound of the music blaring in the background told you that she was out in a club.

whilst you were sat on your couch at home, in some old joggers and a hoodie which most definitely had toothpaste stains on it. love island playing as you were catching up on the last few episodes you'd missed, which was playing just as white noise at the moment.

"alessia, you need to go and find the rest of the girls." you said bluntly, the blonde having told you moments before her i miss you rant that she was out with the arsenal girls, which you probably could have guessed anyways after there win in the league early in the day.

but you also wanted to get back to your series, wishing you weren't having this conversation with your ex but you also couldn't find it in yourself to just hang up on her as you didn't want her to be in any harm — especially while she was drunk.

why did you still care?

"i miss you, y/n" she slurred out again, you could imagine the stupid dopey smile on her face as she said the words, her drunken ramble continuing, "i wish you were here, i miss your cute smile and, and those lips. i miss everything about you."

"alessia can you please just go and find the girls" you begged not wanting to carry on hearing her pleads but you also couldn't bring yourself to press the red button which your finger had loomed over for the past ten minutes.

"i'm sorry for everything y/n, i know you hate me but i still love you, i promise" the blonde slowly slurred out again as you could hear the pout in her voice as she spoke.

you didn't hate her, well maybe you didn’t, you hadn't quite figured that out yet where the blonde stood in your mind.

more just trying to space yourself away from everything that happened with alessia however that proved pretty difficult when you both played football, maybe not for the same team anymore but you'd still see her at england camp.

"alessia, please can you just tell me who i can call to make sure your gonna be safe?" you hated that you still cared, that you had stayed on the phone listening to her ramble drunkenly on about you for the past twenty minutes.

knowing that by the morning she wouldn't even remember it or anything she had said so why were you sat listening?

"can you stop callin' me alessia. i'm baby, less, darling, pretty girl, gorgeous—" she began to rattle out all the names you used to call her, opening up another wound you had spent months healing as with each words she spoke you could feel her opening more and more.

"alessia! will you just answer the damn question!" you yelled down the phone, cutting her off as the frustration growing in your voice was obvious, your patience was wearing thin. you didn't want to hear her voice anymore.

hearing the blonde mumble something about your bluntness, as she hummed on probably trying to figure out herself who would be the best option.

"lotte."

after the drunken call you'd gotten from your ex, you hadn't heard anything from her. not that you expected her too. she wasn't yours to be worried about, but it had left you confused especially over her words. they lingered in the back of your mind. what if she meant it. drunk words are sober thoughts as they say after all.

you knew now though you were just strangers who show up but don't matter enough to each other to be friends. however deep down you knew you had too much history to be just strangers.

weeks had gone since that night and you were arriving at england camp for the set of friendlies which were happening in sunny spain, arriving with the rest of the manchester united girls, you knew she was here. you'd seen it on instagram.

so once you arrived you could feel the tension rising in your shoulders and your chest. grabbing your key for your room and heading straight up there wanting to avoid any chance of running into her.

you hadn't seen her since december, in the home game against arsenal. you both didn't say a word to each other, you wouldn't even look in her direction. so the thought of seeing her again was sending you into hard drive, you weren't sure how you'd react, if you'd react at all.

getting yourself changed and flopping onto the bed you'd call your own for the next ten days. your body realxing into the soft sheets, as you began to flick through the channels on the tv hoping that something would take your interest.

however, you only got two clicks in when there was knocks echoeing through your room. a loud groan coming from you as you pulled yourself up from the comfort of your bed, dragging your socked feet towards the door and opening it.

"mary-"

"come on, everyone's waiting for you to come down" mary interrupted you as you looked on with a confused look, "what for?"

"cause we're watching a film as a team and if your not there then we aren't a team!" mary stated as if it was obvious reaching out to grab your arm as you nodded.

"wait! let me get my keycard!" you said quickly, stopping the door from closing as you heard a tusk of the teeth from the goalkeeper as she mumbled out her complaints. grabbing your keycard off the side table and slipping the card into your pocket, praying you wouldn't forget where you'd put it.

walking down the corridors of the hotel complex the FA had situated the team in, side by side with mary it felt a little eerie. something felt off but you couldn't quite put a finger to it.

coming out the elevator as mary continued to chat your ears off, about anything and everything. from telling you what she did last weekend to what she had for breakfast this morning. but you didn't mind, you would class mary as one of your closest friends in football.

she'd been there for you from the very first day you started at united, helping you settle in to helping you navigate your feelings after she happened.

although you didn't say it very often, you were very thankful for her and you honestly dreaded to think where you'd be without mary, even more so in the past few months.

which is why- you were brought out your thoughts as you felt yourself walk into something or rather someone.

"i wasn't looking- sorry" the blonde mumbled stumbling over her words a little as she looked up from her phone, a slight look of shock on her face when she realised who she'd actually walked into.

"s'fine" you said simply, taking in the blonde’s appearance a little. her hair scraped back in a low bun,

the shorter strands sticking out of the bun. she'd cut her hair again, you could tell. dressed in a grey hoodie and some blue england shorts, her legs bare as her socks covered her feet.

her blue eyes which you'd spent many of your nights getting lost staring into— why were you still stood there?

forcing your body to move, not before catching her disappointed look on her face at the few words you'd spoke to her. the blonde looking as if she was going to say something but her lips pressed back together as she carried on walking the way she was going originally.

"well.. that was a tiny bit awkward!" mary murmured as an awkward laugh came from her, you totally forgetting that mary was stood next to you as you tried to steady your breathing to go back to normal.

"well you could have warned me!"

after the awkward interaction with the blonde in the hallway, you’d noticed her small looks towards you before she would quickly look away. probably in fear of you catching her staring at you.

it was now down time and you were sat on one of the sun lounges, hoping to catch a few of the sun rays. with your book in hand and a fresh bottle of ice cold water you had your afternoon sorted.

glancing every few minutes or whenever a loud cheer came from the girls who were playing a game in the pool. your eyes immediately looking for the blonde before you would switch your eyes to someone else.

"why don't you just talk to her?" mary had noticed you looking towards the blonde, especially in the past few days. the goalkeeper being sat on the lounger just next to you.

she'd known since the day you joined united and no matter how many times you would say you were over the blonde or that you didn't care. mary knew that couldn't be further from the truth, she could tell. she's didn't need you to admit it out loud to know.

but mary had been put in a little bit of a hard position when the break up happened. as she was close with both you and alessia. hearing both sides of the story and giving you both advice which from the older girl you both valued deeply. however mary always claimed herself to be switzerland when asked who side to take.

the only side mary was taking was the side where both her close friends were happy whether that was the two of you happy together again, or if that was you happy with someone else. although deep down she was hoping for the first option!

"talk to who?" you tried the oblivious act, as you turned the page of your book. your eyes trying to follow the words on the page.

pretending you didn't know who she was talking about in hopes you would avoid the topic all together as well as hoping the conversation would change. but you also knew how stubborn mary could be.

"y/n don't play thick with me, you know who i mean" mary gave you the pointed look that told you she wasn't going to give up until you gave her an answer.

"maz i- i can't." you stutters over your words as you saw the sympathetic nod and smile that the goalkeeper sent your way. mary understood why, but she was also close with a certain blonde and knew exactly how she felt.

"but what's stopping you? i know that brain of yours has been whizzing with questions since you know, it ended on a sour note" mary began as you placed your book on your chest, turning over to face mary listening to her as she spoke.

"you don't have to magically become best friends or even be friends for that matter, just what have you got to loose by talking to her?" mary shrugged, as you hummed looking up from the ground. you knew mary was right you didn't have anything else to loose.

"mhm i'll think about it"

you were in london, not by personal choice. united had been playing chelsea in the fa cup. after a full 90' minutes on the pitch you had been longing for your bed since the final whistle blew.

but you'd gone out and had a few drinks with the girls to celebrate before returning to the hotel as the some of the other girls where going off into the next club along the street.

you'd just gotten changed and was about to begin brushing your teeth when there was a quiet knock ringing around your hotel room. at first you thought you'd imagined it but the knocks continued this time a little louder and more continuous.

huffing and placing your toothbrush on the side of the sink, "mary! i haven't got-" you opened the door thinking it would be mary asking if you had a spare key card for her room except it wasn't.

"oh" you whispered as you stared at the last person you thought would be standing at your door just past midnight.

"alessia what are you doing here?" you asked dismissively, wondering how she even knew where you were staying.

"um i was hoping to talk.. to you" you could tell she was nervous, her quiet tone which had replaced her usual confident tone not only gave it away but the fact she was swaying slightly from side to side. a thing she did when she was overthinking something.

"at quarter past twelve in the morning?" you pointed out tiredly looking at her as she timidly nodded before opening her mouth again.

"it's just- i've been wanting to talk to you for ages but it never seemed like the right time- and mary she said where you were saying-" she explained as you still held the same confused look still not quite grasping the fact she was stood at your hotel door at stupid o'clock in the morning but maybe that was also the alcohol in your system slowing your thought process down.

the blonde noticed the hesitated look on your face. "i'm sorry, this is stupid- i'll go. forget i was ever here. i'm sorry" alessia spoke fast, beginning to spin on her heel, not giving you a chance to respond.

but you quickly before she got to far away grabbed her arm pulling her back towards you. why? you didn't know yourself but something inside you was telling you to hear her out.

"no, i'm just a little shocked, you can come in" you said shallowly, moving out the way as the blonde wondered into your hotel room. taking a deep breath in as you shut the door behind you reminding yourself mental to have a chat with mary tomorrow.

"so?" you asked, hoping she would get to why she was actually here watching from behind as the blonde took a seat on your bed, you sitting on the one opposite her.

"i just wanted to see where we stand with each other-" the blonde started as you scoffed a small smile appearing on your face it dropped just a quick as you realised she was serious, "really?"

"yes y/n, look i know you hate me and you have every right to but i just want us to be civil or friends or something. i don't know" the blonde huffed as you nodded slightly with what she was saying.

a silence filling up the room, and an awkward silence at that.

"i miss you and i'm sorry for the way things ended" alessia admitted as your head snapped up. memories of the words she said to you when she was drunk flooding back within a second.

you paused, your head spinning giving you a slight headache, but that could also be from the shots you had taken mere hours ago. “i don’t hate you..” you whispered. this time the blonde looking at you her head tilted slightly sensing the fact you weren’t finished with what you needed to say.

“you don’t?” alessia asked, a slight bit of relief coming over her as you shook your head.

“i don’t but you really fucking hurt me alessia, i know you moved to arsenal for your career. and i’m not trying to take anything away from you for that cause i’ll admit your shining there. but i was your girlfriend. i thought you loved me and you just threw me to the side as if i meant nothing as if our relationship meant nothing!” you paused, taking a deep breathe as you continued.

“i had to ask your fucking teammates how you were doing just to know if you were okay cause you couldn’t seem to find the time answer my messages or calls..” you trailed off, your eyes starting to fill with tears.

“do you know what that felt like, to feel so un-important to someone that i cared and loved so much and someone who was supposed to love me.” you breathed out rubbing over your eyes to stop the tears from falling down your cheeks.

alessia looked at you were pure sorrow in her eyes, a sad smile on her face as she looked down at her hands playing with the gold ring that sat on her middle finger on her left hand.

“i didn’t know..” alessia whispered, still sliding her ring on and off her hand unable to look at you as guilt filled her body from your confession.

“of course you didn’t! you never made an effort once you moved to london!” you spat back, instantly regretting the out-lash as you pinched the bridge of your nose. before moving from sitting opposite the blonde to sit next to her on your bed.

“all i want is a second chance, just as friends nothing more. i meant it when i said i miss you” alessia confessed as you hummed. “i could say it a thousand times that i’m sorry for what i put you through but that won’t do it justice, i just want for our past to be put behind us.. and i would like to get to know you, the new you. if that’s okay with you.” alessia smiled as you nodded.

“so friends then?” you asked, alessia moving her eye line to meet yours her smile still on her face. “friends!” she moved slightly forward to hug you but stopped half way thinking she misread the situation spluttering an apology out as you shook your head wrapping your arms around the blonde in a friendly hug, pulling away after a few seconds.

“so do you still like ketchup with everything?”

part of you should have known you could never just be friends with the blonde. after the night where you spent with her in your hotel room talking the entire night, getting to know each other. rediscovering old habits and discovering new ones.

you found yourself wanting her attention. needing it.

after getting only a few hours sleep that night, you having a hard time saying goodbye to her after only just gotten her back in your life after so long. you didn’t want to say bye, again.

“i don’t want to go” you whined like a child as you slowly did your hair as a giggle came from alessia who was sprawled out on the bed.

“you have to though! we can see each other soon” alessia promised as you still sat tying a hair tie in your hair a huff coming from you. “but that’s too long!”

“it won’t be, either i’ll come up to you or you can come down to me”

and much to both of your promises only a week later after constant messages and facetimes, you found yourself at the blondes apartment in london. finding your first next free day and getting the first train down.

as you spent the evening watching a film, both cuddled up on her couch eating dinner which she had prepared and made before the night coming to a close and as you were going to the guest bedroom, her hand capturing yours and pulling you into her room.

you weren’t gonna lie it did feel weird to be this close to her after so long trying to distance yourself from her, but everything you knew lead you back to her.

you were lying on her bed face to face, as her hand gently came up to move the strand of hair from your face.

a small sigh coming from you, you felt at peace again. as alessia looked at you with nothing but love in those blue eyes of her, looking at you as if you were the only person in the world.

her hand dropping from your face, but before it could drop to its original place you grabbed it. lacing your hand between her, you noticing how your hands fitted perfectly together. together like a puzzle piece.

"i love you so much." she said quietly, a slight smile appearing on your face. but just as quickly as your hand laced with hers, she kissed you.

you responded with such enthusiasm that alessia was a little taken aback at first, but regained her thoughts and reminded herself of what was happening.

alessia was really kissing you.

you were really kissing her.

a feeling you'd been craving for just under a year, since the last time she set foot in your apartment in manchester. when she kissed you goodbye on the cheek, as you stood there shoulders sunken in and lifeless.

nothing could have meant more than her, nothing could have have more beauty than this moment. the way her hands pressed into your chest, the way her blue eyes fluttered closed. you fit into her like a glove, her kiss was like the beating of a butterfly's wings. so soft and wholesome until it became addictive.

and in those few moments you were reminded of why you fell for alessia in the first place. her scent was what you craved. you wanted to have her close to you, unsure where she ended and you began. you’d rather walk through hell again and again then lose her again.

her entrancing eyes, her captivating smile against your lips, her laugh when you did something silly, her hair which now hung just at her shoulder height as she looked at you, her raspy morning voice, her love was everything to you.

but your stupid, stupid lungs had to find air again, as you pulled away from her still lingering in close proximity to her. somehow alessia had moved position as she was now hovering over you, as she straddled you.

she was looking down at you with such an inviting warmth that you wanted to kiss her again, the silence still lingered as she pulled away you adjusting yourself to sit a little upright. a heat rising to your face.

"sorry, i-i shouldn't have..." you trailed of quietly looking at your fingers playing with the rings that you wore.

"what do you mean?" she said softly, watching the your worry struck face. "that wa- it's okay love"

"o-okay?" your voice was hoarse. you cleared your throat, laughing a little before she made the move to kiss you again.

"we'll take it slow, i promise. but i know what i want and that for you to be in my future and if i have to wait then that's what i'll do." alessia spoke with such reassurance and pureness, that made your heart beat just that little faster as you nodded.

a small smile coming onto the blondes face as she leaned forwards to place a gentle kiss onto your cheek.

"i love you, so much."

[springtyme]

Hiii can we get some dating Richie headcanons :)

𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐑𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞 𝐉𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐡 ♡

We certainly can! Thank you for the request, I love this disaster of a man so much! I had so much fun with this and I'm so excited for season two 💕 I also couldn't contain myself and made a Richie playlist

word count: 1.4k

Richie had almost given up on love before he met you. Almost.

After a series of failed dates and a couple of meaningless hookups it had seemed to him like love just wasn’t in the cards for him anymore. But then you had come along to prove him wrong. 

Despite how he might come off to some, Richie is definitely a lover boy. Putting himself ‘out there’ after his split with Tiff had been hard, but he knew that he deep down, in the essential core of his being, desperately craved to have someone to share his life with. 

Someone to come home to and share the little moments with. Someone to rant to about how Carmy had been acting like little bitch about the new dishtowels, or how another building downtown has been torn down to be turned into another fucking nightmarish cement parking house. Someone who he could have a laugh with and who would give him a chance to rise above the label of deadbeat loser that the universe seems to have put on him. Someone who could see him for who he truly is. Someone who wouldn’t judge him or think less of him for having sold a little coke from a back alley in a desperate situation. 

Richie will do anything for the people he cares for, so what if his methods are a little unorthodox? He is loyal to the bone and he cares, he fucking cares.      

And that is all he wants, someone to care for. Someone to love and someone to love him. That was all that he dreamed of before, but he had started to lose hope.

But then, when he finally had started to come to terms with the idea that that might never happen, he met you. 

It had all started with a slightly awkward date. He had been quite nervous, way more than he normally was. You just seemed too good to be true, way too good for someone like him anyway. He wanted to give off a good impression so bad that it slightly backfired, or it maybe would have backfired if you weren't you. 

He had been loud and acting confident in a way only a man who’s trying to hide how nervous he actually is can. He had been accidently laughing at his own jokes before the punchline had even landed and stumbling over his own words from time to time, but luckily for him you had found it rather charming. You couldn’t keep the wide smile from spreading on your face as he started rambling about Bill Murray and some old roman goddess. 

He had visibly relaxed after you had declared with a smile that you probably had to give him a call one of these days so you could hear the voicemail from the story, but that you certainly wouldn’t mind if he just happened to pick up the phone.   

He did pick up the phone when you called, and you were not disappointed in the slightest that it was Richie’s voice and not Bill Murray’s that had greeted you.

That first date turned into another, which turned into yet another one and no matter how scared he was that you would suddenly realize how much of a shitshow his life truly is he just didn’t seem to be able to scare you off.  

He’ll be your number one cheerleader, always so proud of you, and he will tell everybody who lets him about you. And he loves to show you off. You are in his opinion way out of his league and he is just so damn proud to have someone as amazing and beautiful as you to call his and to love.

He loves taking pictures of you. Just silly little pictures, you picking up produce at the farmers market or silly little selfies of the two of you as you wait in line at Arby's. He just wants to remember all the nice little moments with you.

He’ll proudly flaunt you on his instagram for all his 36 followers to see (well, 37 now that you follow him)

You will usually try and match your lunch break at work to fit with family at the restaurant. Stepping into the restaurant to be met with a huge smile from Richie is one of the highlights of your day. The staff of the beef are essentially family to him and he is so happy to share you with them. You have become part of that little family and it is more than Richie could ever have dreamt of.

Neither of you are in a rush with your relationship. He is a divorcee with a daughter and you have never had any wild dreams about a wedding or an on paper ‘picture perfect’ relationship with a house and a white picket fence. You just want someone who loves you for exactly who you are and that someone is Richie.

It is about a year into your relationship that you say ‘I love you’ the first time you don’t know if it is late or not but one thing for sure is that the love had been there from early on.

It was four months into your relationship that he had asked you if you would like to meet his daughter and honestly that had been a bigger confession of love than anything else could have been. He loves his daughter more than anything in the world and you know that he would never bring up introducing you to her if it wasn’t because he was serious about you and wanted you as a permanent part of his life.  

You had been a little nervous to meet her, you know how much she means to Richie and you had just really wanted her to like you. You had, however, not been the slightest bit nervous about how you would feel about her, she’s Richie’s little girl after all, a part of him, and you love every part of him. 

Luckily for you, she absolutely adores you, and you adore her. It had meant everything for Richie to know that his baby girl and you were getting along so well. 

It had been on that same night as you had uttered your first ‘I love you’s’ that he had asked you if you wanted to move in together. He had been so happy when you had kissed a ‘yes’ into his lips. 

Living together is everything Richie could ever have dreamt of. Not waking up to an empty bed and knowing that you are at home waiting on him when he comes home from work is like a dream come true.   

He is an early riser, usually you wake up to an empty bed, and even though you sometimes wish you woke up to warm, morning-cuddles it is always made up for by the sight of Richie in the kitchen. He is usually only wearing one of his, seemingly never ending supply of, ‘The Beef’ shirts and a pair of boxers.

His back will be turned to you as he’s in the midst of getting your coffee ready for you. It has become a fixture in your life with Richie, something you wouldn’t give up, even for all the morning-cuddles in the world.

You will sneak up on him and let your arms sneak around him, hugging him tight from behind and he will lean softly back into your embrace.

If he is having a smoke you will pluck the cigarette from his lips and take a few drags as you squish your cheek into his back and slowly let the comforting smell of brewing coffee wake you up. When the cigarette is smoked and ashed into the sink to later be thrown into the ashtray, Richie will turn around, engulfing you in his long, lean arms and press a gentle kiss to your forehead, kissing a ‘good morning’ into your still sleep-warm skin. 

Your relationship with Richie is warm and loving. It doesn’t mean that it is constant smooth sailing, but you always work through the bumps you come across along the road together. That is the true beauty of your relationship with him, the constant reassuring feeling of togetherness.

You are in his life to stay, you are family now and Richie will do anything to keep you happy and by his side.

[lie-lacdreams]

Thermodynamics and Turmoil (Curly x Reader pt.2)

Hi friends -- I'm putting out the second installment to this quickly to gain some more momentum! Thank you for all of the support so far - I wasn't sure how well this was going to do but I hope you've been enjoying it. If you have any questions about the story so far, pls ask! I love interacting :)

Last Next

engineer! reader x Curly TW: vulgar language, mention of thermo transfer theories (EWWWW), and catching feelings (ew pt.2), oh, and the existential dread of unsatisfaction that ambition can bring to your life, leaving you hungry and wanting more Word count ~ 2.0k

“Daisuke, come back here! I’m going to kill you right now!!” A flash of pink passed Curly before halting to a quick stop to hide right behind him.

“Captain, please save me! Aaaah!” Daisuke screamed as he caught sight of (Y/N), who just came around the bend of the hallway hunting him down. 

“What’s going on here?” Curly asked, observing (Y/N’s) disheveled appearance. Her jumpsuit was zipped halfway up to her torso and her hair still looked disheveled from sleep. 

She slowed down to a stop, now embarrassed that she had been caught in such a state by the captain before replying, “This… one over here had the genius idea to turn off my alarm and I slept in three extra hours. Could you please hand him over so I could maim him?” She peered to the side of Curly to narrow her eyes at Daisuke, who let out a shriek and made himself smaller behind the man in front of him. 

“Oh? I had asked him to do that, actually,” he mused. 

“Pardon me?” she straightened.

“You looked so exhausted yesterday, you deserve a few extra hours of rest after giving yourself no breaks. He was just following Captain’s orders.”

“Oh… I see. Uhm, thank you. I guess you’re off the hook then, Dai. Has Swansea got you working on anything right now or do you want to come shadow me? I have to take a look at the pressure in the steam pipes.” she asked the intern. 

“Yes! Let’s go. I wanna hear about what you were up to all of yesterday. Swansea and I like, didn’t see you at all. Will you let me help out today?” He came out from behind Curly and started walking ahead of (Y/N), eager to please and for something to do. 

“Heh, sure. See you around, Captain.” she said a bit sheepishly, trailing behind Daisuke. After a good night’s rest and the initial panic of waking up late, the interaction with Curly finally sunk in for (Y/N). She typically kept her emotions so detached from the crew and her work and it almost horrified her how easily it was for her to open up to him last night in a moment of vulnerability. As much as it made her uncomfortable to realize that she had run her mouth and ranted to him, she woke up with a feeling of relief. Sure, her job was still going to be hard, but knowing that her captain believed in her and was willing to help in any way he could gave her a sense of peace. 

She stopped by some pipes in the corner of the hallway and turned to Daisuke. “Okay, let’s get to work.”

After a few hours of working and (Y/N) explaining Nusselt theory with Daisuke half listening, she finally called for a break. 

“Nerd,” he teased as he stuck his tongue out at her. “How did you even come to like any of this stuff anyway?” They leaned on the wall, sitting on the floor together.

“I don’t know. To be honest, I never really knew what I wanted to do in my undergrad. I just picked chemical engineering because it was kinda interesting but hard and so rewarding when I understood it. Getting my PhD in it after working for a few years just seemed like a natural next step.” She turned to Daisuke. “I know you’re in college now, and everyone is probably asking you the same thing and you’re sick of hearing it but what do you want to do?”

“Hmm, I don’t know,” he started. “I think everyone around me has these expectations that I’ll do something great, and I’m so scared of disappointing them. They say the sky’s the limit and that’s what scares me. I could do anything with my life, so how do I know that whatever I choose won’t be the wrong path?”

“I don’t believe in such a thing as a wrong path,” she responded. “Whatever you choose, you make the best of it and try your hardest. Everything happens for a reason.”

Under his breath, Daisuke laughed. “Man, maybe Anya should hand over the wellbeing check-ins to you. You’re like, so philosophical.”

“Oh God, no. I could never be held responsible for people like that. I’d go mad.” She stood up, dusting off her pants and held a hand to him. “I think we’re pretty much done for the day, believe it or not. Wanna go play some Uno?”

Spending the rest of the day relaxing after the past few days of struggling was refreshing and just what she needed. That night she finally joined the rest of the crew for supper, laughing with Anya about something too far away for Curly to hear. Their little family was complete tonight and it was moments like these that Curly savored. He wished that every moment on the Tulpar could be like this. 

A few days later, Curly was exiting the cockpit and was startled to nearly trip over (Y/N). “I’m so sorry, Captain. I had no idea you were in there.” She looked up from her mess of manuals, a notebook, and trusty abacus, a pencil tucked behind her ear. 

“It’s alright. Are you alright?” He asked.

“Yes, just looking at our fuel today and trying to make the Tulpar cooperate with me.” She furrowed her brows. 

“Need a hand with anything?” He offered, crouching down to look at the paper in her hands. 

“O-Oh, only if you aren’t busy, then yes, I would love some help, actually. But I don’t want to be a burden.”

He shook his head. “Nonsense. The ship’s on autopilot right now and Jimmy will take over for me in fifteen minutes anyway so I’m all yours.”

“Okay,” she flushed. “Thank you, come with me please.” She led him a few paces away. “See this? If you could read me some of the values over here that would be great. This here is the manometer, it measures pressure and over here is the oxidizer. There are a few things I need you to read aloud to me.”

After getting all the information she needed, she bid Curly goodbye and looked around for a place for her to do her calculations. Settling for the couch in the lounge, she got to work when Daisuke plopped down right next to her. 

“Hey, (Y/N),” he started.

“ ‘Sup?” She asked, distracted.

“Fuck, marry, kill: anyone on this ship.” His lips spread into a shit-eating grin. 

“Fuck Curly, marry Anya, kill Jim– wait a minute, what??” She looked up from her notebook. 

Daisuke’s eyes lit up before his face twisted into an expression of evil delight. “Ohohohoo yooo (Y/N) you wanna fuck the captain?”

“No!! Stop that!! You asked me that while I was distracted and not really paying attention. That’s not true.” She swatted at him.

“Sure, but that doesn’t change your answer now, does it? Damn, you answered that shit with no hesitation too!” He shrugged his eyebrows. “Since when did you have the hots for the captain?” 

“Sure, I find him really attractive, okay? I admit it. It’s not that big of a deal. Okay then, what about you?” She crossed her arms, face flushed and flustered. 

Daisuke’s face contorted to one of disgust. “Eww nah I can’t do this! Swansea and Jimmy are just-” he made dry heaving sounds. “You and Anya are like my older sisters, so that’s absolutely not happening. And Curly – okay I agree with you on that one but like, he’s so much older.” he shrugged. 

She let out a ‘harrumph’ before going back to her work. “Doesn’t Swansea have something for you to do, huh?” 

Daisuke shook his head. “I’m just waiting ‘til dinner.” He kept her company on the couch as she worked, playing on his gameboy and trying his best to stay quiet so she could concentrate. Supper was a quiet affair today, with not everyone showing up to eat at the same time. People came and went, in and out of the lounge, eventually going to bed. (Y/N) was still up, now in loose pajama pants and a sweatshirt, criss-crossed on the couch and reading a book in the light of the night time screen. Anya had already gone to bed and so she sat in the lounge so as to not disturb her sleep.

“Hey,” said the captain. “Mind if I join you there?” She smiled up at him before patting a spot next to her on the sofa, inviting him to sit with her. She noticed that he was still in uniform as he sat down, draping an arm over the couch and facing her. 

“You weren’t there at dinner today, did you have a chance to eat?” She asked.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah. Anya brought Jimmy and me dinner. We’re heading straight for a belt of asteroids so we had to do a bit of charting and manual steering to make sure we don’t crash. We should be fine and taken care of now,” he massaged his temples with a hand.

“You look pretty tired, Captain. If you were busy today, you know you didn’t need to help me out, right? Take care of your obligations first.” She looked up at him and the blue glow of the large screen somehow seemed to soften the look in his blue eyes. Dammit, Daisuke, she thought. Admitting the captain was handsome out loud only made her more aware of it. Even with bags under his eyes and the rugged state of his beard, she couldn’t help but blush under his gaze, so she turned to look at the fake moon on the screen. 

“No, I enjoyed helping out today. Ever since you opened up to me, I want to make sure that you have the support that you need. It’s my responsibility, after all.” He followed her gaze to look at the display screen as well.

“Don’t you ever get burnt out juggling all of this? It’s a lot to pile onto just one person, and the company makes it even worse by making things accessible only through you. And in the end, you’re the one who’s responsible for our performance on this trip.” She turned back to him now, concerned. 

“Sometimes, I guess. I started here on a pretty low rung of the ladder, but I always dreamed of doing something greater. The higher and higher I climbed, the more complicated things got, more liabilities were piled on, but I couldn’t help but keep climbing. There’s still something missing from my life, and even if I get to the top, I’m not quite sure if I’ll ever be satisfied.”

(Y/N) paused for a moment to think. “Would you ever leave this line of work to pursue something completely new, even if it meant having to start over from the beginning?”

“Yeah, I think so. I mean, I’ve done it once before, so it isn’t that intimidating to have to do it again.”

She nodded. “That’s very admirable. In a sense, it seems like you know what direction you know you want to go in, even if what you want isn’t clear. I respect you a lot for that, Captain.”

Curly shook his head. “Please, I think we all in one way or another are trying our best out here. We all have responsibilities we have to take care of by being on this ship.” He glanced at her again. “And honestly, you know you can call me Curly, right? Jimmy does it, my friends back on Earth called me that too. At this point we’ve gotten pretty vulnerable with each other over the past few days.”

“Okay, C-urly. Maybe not on duty, but right now it doesn’t sound too bad.” (Y/N) was praying that the glow from the screen concealed her hot and flushed face. After these past few days of getting to know the captain a bit better, it was so easy for feelings to snowball. Brushing the fluttery feeling she had aside, she stood up. “I think I’m going to head to bed now. I hope you’ll do the same, Curly. Thank you for being vulnerable with me.”

After he heard the door shut quietly, he sighed and rubbed a hand over his face, giving the display screen one last look before getting up and going to bed himself.

------------------

Thanks for reading! Give me a few days and I'll be back. Cheers!

[princessbrunette]

i need a longer blurb of jj teaching reader how to smoke 🙏🏻 possible shotgunning

i was hoping someone would ask teehee ♡

suggestive themes down below, mentions of weed etc

jj cringes at himself as he taps the cracked screen of his iphone, hitting play on the spotify playlist titled simply with the leaf emoji — a subtle and yet juvenile nod to it being his smoking playlist. what kind of nerd actually has a playlist made and ready to hit play when hanging out with a pretty girl, he thinks — cheeks a little red under the dim light. his shitty speaker hiccups and splutters before playing the music smoothly, just as he comes to drop down beside you on the comfy old couch.

“anyway, fuck uh— i don’t remember. it doesn’t matter.” he waves a hand, pushing his heels into the ground to lift up his hips so he can pull the rolled J out his back pocket.

“your concentration is terrible.” you tease with a giggle, legs tucked beneath you. he recalls you looking particularly adorable in that moment, and his brain malfunctions for a second as he looks at you before he forces out a response.

“uh… yeah — i got that letter thing.”

“adhd?”

“thats the one.” he presses his fingers tightly around the compact J before patting his front pockets for a lighter. “you smoke?”

it was the first time you’d had the privilege of hanging out with just JJ alone. you were sarah’s friend, and had tagged along with her to a few pogue hangouts when she’d started dating john b. you all seemed to get on well as a group, and you were pretty meek and shy most of the time — which they found pretty endearing, so they kept you around. you were harmless, and brought an oddly charming sense of innocence to their reckless and vulgar world. you’d started harbouring a little crush on JJ since you’d met, all smiles and doe eyes whenever he was up to his usual nonsense. he was loud and untameable, but always made an effort to behave around you. the special attention made you melt.

“JJ you’re yelling.” pope would accuse and the blonde would hold his hands up.

“sorry.” he’d apologise before turning specifically to you. “sorry. those pretty ears. shouldn’t be hearing that.” he waves it off and continues with whatever rant he was on, but your smile doesn’t go away for like 2 minutes.

his effort didn’t go unnoticed by the pogues, and since you weren’t technically a pogue yourself — and it wouldn’t be breaking any pogue rules, john b and sarah specifically had encouraged the two of you to hang out alone, leaving JJ the keys to the chateau. it made total sense to them, john b desperately wanted jj to be happy (and to get some, from a nice girl.) and sarah was enthralled by the idea of double dates based off ideas she’d tucked into a pinterest board. whilst the blonde was infamous for making bad decisions, he wouldn’t let turning down alone time with a pretty girl be another on his extensive track record.

you eye him where he sits beside you on the small cushy couch, shifting a little — springs clinking beneath you suggesting it may have been a pull out bed. “i’ve never… i haven’t done it before.” you shrug, embarrassed. you envied the pogues in that way, whilst you’d been sheltered your whole life up into adulthood, they’d been able to explore themselves and figure out what they like.

his eyes widen a little and his mouth forms a surprised little ‘o’ shape, before nodding quickly and stuffing the J back into his pocket.

“what are you doing?” your brows furrow.

“don’t wanna make you feel weird, if i smoke ‘n stuff.” he waves a hand dismissively and you shake your head with wide eyes, sitting up a little in your seat.

“oh, no i don’t mind! don’t let me stop you.” you smile as reassuringly as you can. he looks at you for a moment, fixing his hat on his head before pausing a little and turning more toward you.

“totally shoot me down if you don’t wanna but…” he pulls the J back out, slowly and cautiously like it’ll scare you if he moves too fast. “you down to learn? heard i’m quite the teacher.” he smirks, but there’s a friendly twinkle behind his eyes that just makes him so approachable and non-intimidating that you feel completely safe.

“m’kay, yeah, i’ve always wanted to know what it feels like.” your voice is soft behind your wide smile and he wants to slap himself for staring at you for so long.

“alright, that’s the spirit.” he mirrors your grin, tossing his lighter in the air and catching it.

“i didn’t know smoking was something that needed to be taught.” you comment, shuffling a little downward so you can lean against the couch more— getting as comfortable as you can in your sweet little sundress. you were sat so close now you could feel his body heat radiating onto you, and it was doing something crazy to your stomach. that, and the way he looked, manspreading casually on the couch, white tee and black sweatpants, frowning in concentration as he presses the joint between his lips, holding a flame to the end of it until it glows and then shaking out the flame.

registering your words, he sends you a little face of mock offence that makes you giggle. he inhales deep and holds the smoke in his lungs, voice strained when he responds. “nah, this shit is an art form. ‘course it can be taught.” exhale. you find you’re holding your breath too.

“yeah this’ll be good for your first time, asked my guy for somethin’ weaker cos’ i didn’t want you to think i was bein’ a weirdo or whatever, smoking you out with the strong stuff so i can be creepy. i know some guys do that.” he rambles before taking another shorter toke, brows creased as he concentrates on his mini review.

“you bought weed especially for hanging out with me?” you smile kindly and he gapes for a millisecond, holding the J between his fingers and he blinks, caught out.

“yeah.” he shrugs. “s’like buying you flowers. but better.” he shuffles closer to you on the seat. before you have time to overthink the flowers comment, he’s carefully holding the joint to your lips, his own eyes wide and already a little glossy.

“i’m nervous.” you giggle, briefly holding his hovering wrist to stabilise you both.

“hey, you’re in good hands i swear, i’ll look after you.” he promises, free hand cupping your cheek with a teasing but far from unkind expression. “you’re my little baby tonight.” it was made to be a joke but your stomach does a little somersault.

“‘kay.” your lips brush the tip of the J and he has to force himself not to think something inappropriate.

“what i want you to do is breathe in and then hold it, ‘kay?” he instructs and you do so, eyes looking to him for guidance. it burns and tickles your throat at the same time but it’s not awful, you don’t even cough. maybe this is rare, because he grins when you squint— holding it in your chest. “atta girl! see, you’re born for this. breathe out for me.” his voice is closer, and therefore quieter, more intimate. you’re a lightweight by nature, so by your second toke the delay starts to unwind and you start feeling a buzz.

sativa by jhené aiko starts to play through the cheap speaker by the time you’re really feeling it. he’s talking to you the whole time, talking you through it, praising you. your whole body feels hot and you revel in the euphoria of feeling so safe and comfortable in someone’s presence. you lean against his shoulder a little, giggling over a little anecdote he told you about his day with pope.

he’s grinning with pretty pink eyes, turning to look down at you, really look at you close up. his heart stammers because you’re so damn beautiful and he nearly chokes on smoke. that would have been embarrassing.

“you’re cute.” he lifts his cap for a second, running a hand through his hair and you tilt your head, joint still clasped between your fingers.

“really?”

“totally. i’d complain about anyone else getting lipgloss on the joint, but you’re cute so you’re allowed.” he jokes and you’re off again, leaning more into him as you chortle. his arm wraps around your shoulders, pulling you closer until your head rests against him. he looks down at you, a warm smile bordering on chuckle spreading across his face at the way you’re gazing up at him like he hung the moon and stars for you. “y’wanna learn something else?” he offers and you’re slow, but eager— eyes widening hazily and nodding clumsily.

“alright. y’trust me, yeah?” he adjusts his position a little.

“mhm, yeah i do JJ.” you’re all dazed and openly crushing. he seems pretty into it and you’re glad, because someone a little meaner might find it pathetic.

he takes your hand holding the joint and brings your fingers that clasp it to his lips, where he then takes a hit. his palms encase your jaw, pulling your face to his. he pulls ever so slightly, so your mouth gapes before he’s breathing the smoke slowly into your mouth. your heart hammers, and your hands are frozen but you get the hint and inhale, feeling the second hand burn. you open your eyes, not remembering having closed them and he’s staring at you— and you don’t get the chance to pull away because he’s closing the gap again and pressing his lips fully to yours.

you let out a quiet moan at the surprise, the sound from your throat a lot more vulgar than intended and he pulls back after a moment, eyes flickering between yours.

“sorry.”

“dont be. i wanna do it again. can we?”

“the smoking thing or the…” he trails off as you lean in slowly, a curious and sweet expression tainted with a glossy haze of intoxication and lust. you’d never been like this before with anyone, hell— you’d never felt like this.

you press your lips to his, kissing him simply before pulling back. your brows pinch together and be bites back a smile, thumbing at your cheekbone.

“wh’sthe matter?” he whispers.

“there’s more you need to teach me.” you bat your eyelashes at him and he feels himself wake up from the waist down, subtly adjusting himself.

“well we got all night.” he teases before leaning in, this time his mouth taking the lead. the joint is put out and forgotten about as he presses an open mouthed kiss to your swollen lips. “didn’t i say i was a good teacher?”

[messedupfan]

Chapter 21

Summary: The morning after the school fundraiser, Wanda and Y/n share their fears and expectations. Rachel notices the change in her Baba's behavior. Jean has a heart breaking session with her wife.

A/n: Hellloooooo!! Y'all I watched Deadpool and Wolverine over the weekend and Y'ALL I LOVED EVERY SECOND. Mostly enjoyed dancing in the 4DX seats. But lived for every moment in the movie. My goodness. Idc to hear criticisms or negative comments about that movie. It's everything to me. I love love LOVE it. Anyway... enough of my rant. Hope y'all enjoy this chapter!

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The sun glaring through the curtains disrupts your sleep. You turn away from facing the window and smash your face into someone’s back. You breathe deeply through your nose. Your lips lift almost instantly as you recognize Wanda's scent. You press your lips to her back as you continue to breathe her in. Wanda stretches as her internal clock starts to wake her up. 

You move up and lean against her headboard and smile down at her as she faces you. Her brown hair is a mess, her freckles are prominent. Her eyes are a deeper green, reflecting from the green top she chose for bed. 

“Hi,” you say when Wanda opens her eyes. 

“Hey you,” she replies through a yawn. Her eyes close as she does and she stretches again. “Give me a minute and I'll make us something to eat,” she says as she blinks her eyes slowly. 

“Don't worry about that right now,” you say in a raspy voice. You move her hair out of her face. “Just be here with me. Let's enjoy this moment together while we still can.” She closes her eyes as you rest your hand on her cheek. She leans into your touch. 

“Last night was,” Wanda smiles and bites her bottom lip as she replays the memory in her head. Second to the day her children were born, that has to be her favorite memory. 

You chuckle, “Yeah, it was.” You continue to gaze down at her. You want to kiss her and technically you can. But you're not sure if she wants that right now. “Do you still feel that way?” You ask softly, to confirm with her that things are moving in a direction that the both of you are comfortable with. 

Wanda opens her eyes as moves her hand out from under the covers to touch your arm. “Yeah, do you?” Her fingers dance along the length of your arm. 

“Of course I do, I’ve admitted it three times now,” you say with a humorous tone. 

Wanda remembers each time with a fond smile. The first time she threw herself at you when the two of you got drunk together and kissed. She didn't know that you had confessed your growing feelings towards her until you later apologized about it. The second time isn't the one you're thinking of. The second time wasn't the night that you showed up at her house. That was the third and most painful attempt for her. The second happened the night she had to pick you up from the bar. You kissed her and when she asked what you were doing you said that it was something that you should have done before. “Four times actually,” Wanda corrects you softly. 

“What?” You laugh, not sure if you heard her correctly. 

“Nevermind,” she says as she curls her body against yours. She closes her eyes as she inhales your scent again. It's one thing to have items that smell like you. It's so much better to have you right here. In her arms as a person instead of a fantasy. 

“I love you,” you say to see how she feels about hearing those words from you. She opens her eyes and there isn’t the fear that you’ve seen in them before. It’s a brightness to them. It’s a loving gaze you've witnessed her give her children. “That doesn't scare you?” You ask her to be certain. 

“No,” she smiles and moves her face forward, her lips connecting with yours. Neither of you mind the sour morning breath because you're just happy to be kissing each other. Her soft lips pressed against yours make you feel more alive than you ever had before. At this point, you're not sure if you existed before now. “You don't have to worry about me, Y/n. I'm in this. I want us to take it slow for us to prove to ourselves it's what's meant to be, before we get everyone involved. But I'm not afraid of my feelings for you. I'm not afraid of being loved by you.” 

You nod as you wrap your arms around her small frame and press her closer to your body. “So we're going to keep this under wraps for a bit?” You ask, clarifying what she means when she says that she wants to take things slow. 

“Just until we are certain what this is. I mean, we've talked a lot about what we want for our futures. But not really what kind of partner or what we really think of each other. I have an image of you in my mind as I'm sure you have one of me. I just want to give us time to… settle into the reality of each other.” Wanda explains and you agree. It's something that you weren't aware of with your past serious relationships. 

Sure, you knew Jean practically your entire life but you weren't paying attention to her as a real person until your marriage was falling apart. You had a fantasy of her in your mind that you built up when you were crushing on her. She fell short a lot and it wasn't her fault. She didn't know that you had built up years of expectations of her. 

With Daisy, she had expectations of you that you're still not sure if you met. She never said anything about it but you could tell that sometimes she wished you were the person she made up in her mind. In her defense, she probably expected you to be a lot more in love with her than you were and that is a fair expectation. 

With Wanda however, you aren't sure what kind of person you've made her up to be in your head. You know that you have some idea of what a life with her would look like. You kept comparing Daisy to her after all. And it's true, you could have made her out to be a perfect person for you in your mind. But she could just be a good friend for you. You almost laugh at the thought. There's no doubt in your mind that you're supposed to marry this girl one day. But she's right, you don't need to jump into anything. 

“Okay, yeah, I don't mind that. It'll be good to keep us to ourselves for a bit. Days like these where we can be with each other with no pressure to take leaps in our relationship before we're ready to,” you say as you rub her shoulder. “And the kids were so heart broken when we told them not to hope for this anymore.” 

Wanda looks down as she remembers that day. It broke her heart too. But it was an important day for her. Up until then, she thought she was done letting Vision win with the few moments that she stood up to him. Her therapist helped her realize, she was still letting him win every time she held herself back from happiness or from really moving forward. It wasn't that she wasn't ready to commit to a relationship because she didn't know who she was. It was because deep down, she was still Vision’s wife. Her therapist helped her learn how to free herself from that mental marriage. 

“Yeah, and I’m still working on myself. I feel like if we did end up breaking up the boys would blame me and I wouldn’t be able to tell them any different,” Wanda pouts as she thinks of her boys having proof that she is the problem because they love you so much as it is. 

“Wanda, I am far from perfect. I'm going to make many mistakes and so will you,” you say with a light tone because it's the truth and there's no reason to pretend like it's impossible to mess up. “The important thing is that when we do make mistakes, it's not something that drives us apart. We take that as a learning moment. I mean there are obvious things like no cheating. But if someone makes a pass at you or someone kisses you and you come to me about it, we can talk about that and figure out how to move past it. You know?”

Wanda nods as she listens to you, she hadn't considered that she didn't need to be perfect all of the time. She hadn’t considered that you weren’t a perfect person. Even though both of you have shown each other flaws in the year that you’ve gotten to know each other, there is still so much to learn. “I’m certain that I want to be with you and only you. Which is why I’m okay with going at your pace,” you stress that you’re not doing this to see if you want a future with her. You already know that. You’re willing to go slow because you don’t need to rush anything. 

At this statement, however, Wanda starts to laugh. “You do realize that this will be your third relationship in less than a year?” The thought makes you laugh as you realize that you have become a serial monogamous in terms of dating. 

“In my defense, I wasn’t certain about Daisy. And I was only dating Nebula to pass time. She knew it wasn’t serious and I never tried to make it anything more than what it was.” You defend your actions. 

Wanda laughs more as you defend yourself because she wasn’t being serious when making the observation. She is in no position to judge, she has slept with so many people this year that she lost count because she couldn’t believe how high the number had gotten. How she got through it with only one minor STI is beyond her. “It’s fine, you’re fine, it’s just funny to me,” she says through her laughs. 

You join her as she laughs because it's contagious. She is so bright and bubbly this morning and you feel very privileged to be present for it. Then your phone rings and as much as you want to ignore it, you have to make sure it’s not any kind of an emergency. You look at the screen and sigh when you see the picture of Jean and Rachel making silly faces. You put your finger to your lips and warn Wanda to be quiet as you answer the phone. She kisses your cheek and climbs out of her bed to run to the bathroom. 

“Hey, what’s up?” You answer the phone with a tightness and dread building in your chest. You don’t want to go home yet. You don’t want to leave this bubble. Not yet. You’ve barely gotten to enjoy it. 

“Hey, sorry,” Jean says in a whisper. “I forgot that I have couple’s counseling with Anna in an hour. I hate to ask because you’ve been so generous-” 

“Rachel is my daughter, you don’t have to feel guilty about asking me to come home for her,” you remind her. With the odd arrangement, Jean has been asking you to babysit Rachel. As a parent, that’s not babysitting. She claims that she had gotten so used to asking her wife to babysit Rachel and that little piece of information bugged you. Anna adopted Rachel, making her Anna’s daughter as well. You found it to be very disrespectful that she considers spending time with Rachel babysitting. “Just give me twenty minutes, I’ll be there soon.” 

“Okay, thank you,” Jean says, then she ends the call. 

You sigh as you rub your face. Wanda comes out of her bathroom wiping her face dry with a towel. She sits on the edge of the bed and rubs your back. You can smell the flowery perfume from the products she uses. When she asks you what’s wrong, you can smell the mint on her breath. You remove your hands from your face and flash her a small tired smile. 

“Nothing, I just,” you sigh and shake your head. “I hate going home now that Jean is staying with me.” 

“Woah, when did that happen?” Wanda asks as her hand stops on your shoulder and starts to gently massage you there. 

“A few weeks ago. She got into a big fight with Anna and stayed with me for a night which I was fine with one night. Now it’s gotten a little ridiculous but what am I going to do?” You shrug because you hate the situation that you’re caught in. You scoff bitterly as you think about how Anna wanted to separate their lives from yours but she forces situations like this to happen. “She had Rachel ask if she could stay instead of asking herself, which was just… I don’t know. I can't get into it with you right now.” You say as you pull away from her touch and stand from the bed. You stretch your sore muscles. The pull out mattress in the couch was horribly thin because it has to be and it’s taking a toll on your body. It was nice to have a break in Wanda’s comfortable and clearly expensive mattress. 

“Wait, hold on. I want to be there for you with this,” Wanda says as she tries to be a good partner. “Don’t shut me out.”

“I’m not shutting you out I’m,” you sigh as you make your way around the bed to the side of the room where her closet has your clothes from last night hanging. You almost trip on a dress and you realize how messy her room is. It makes you smile for a second when you realize that it was from the effort she was making in her appearance last night. You grab your shirt and start to button up. “The situation makes me upset. No, it’s infuriating actually. Anna is putting a lot of the blame on me when it’s a shitty situation because of – no, I won’t go there.” You start to pull on your pants and Wanda is standing at the entrance of the closet watching you. 

“I can’t be upset about it because I want to lead a good example for Rachel. Her mom needs some support. It shouldn’t be me, but she alienated everyone else in her life, so it is me,” you explain as you finish getting dressed. “Talking about it gets my blood boiling. So, I’m not shutting you out. I’m just trying to make it throw the day without blowing up at my ex-wife in front of our daughter.” 

Wanda nods, feeling slightly guilty for trying to get you to open up about something that she doesn’t know anything about. But she was only trying to do the right thing so she gives herself a break because she couldn’t have known and you were communicating that you can’t talk about it right now. She watches you move to sit on her bed and thinks about what she can do to help you shift your mood while you get your shoes on. When you stand up and dust yourself off she stands in front of you and wraps her arms loosely around your neck. 

“I love you,” she says and she feels the tension in your shoulders disappear. She leans up and kisses you on the lips. Your body melts against hers in the kiss as you feel safe and secure in her presence. You close your eyes and commit every detail of this moment to your memory so that you can get through the day. And tomorrow. And however many days you have to go without holding Wanda and kissing her. 

You rest your forehead against hers and sigh with content. “I want to stay here with you,” you admit with a pout. 

“I want you to stay,” she says as she lays the palm of her hand on your chest and takes a deep breath. “You have to go. I’ll see you soon, I’m sure. The boys will want to hang out with Rachel,” she says as she thinks of ways she can still see you while you’re going through this tough time with your ex. 

“And I have the orders to finish. One is due in two weeks and the other is due in four,” you remind her. 

“Oh, yeah, you do have to come back for that,” Wanda smiles up at you. “Is this your way of inviting me into the shed for some alone time with you?” She wiggles her eyebrows and it makes you laugh because you didn’t even consider that. 

“No, but hey, it definitely gives me an excuse to take you out on a real date on the weeks you don’t have the kids. That is, if I continue to have an unwanted roommate,” you brush the back of your fingers against her soft cheek. 

Wanda’s fingers play with your tie, her eyes have dropped to adjust the knot. “Is this your way of asking me out on a date?” 

You chuckle, “Of course not. I know better than to mention my ex-wife when asking you out on a date. I'm just saying that the option is there. But I have to get going.” Wanda agrees to let you go. You get one last kiss before you run off to your car. 

The entire drive home you have a wide grin. Wanda is happily spinning around her room like a love sick teenager. She stops when she realizes that one she's is too old for that only because she could throw up. And two, she needs to call Matt to make sure that he doesn't report anything to Agatha. Wanda bites her lip as she thinks about you and her sneaking around. As if you were in some torrid love affair. 

She spends her morning telling everyone that the plan didn't work and that she chickened out when she saw you with Nebula. Carol felt sorry for her and offered to hang out later that day. Agatha was irate; she thought the plan was perfect. She had put in so much time and effort. Wanda and Carol ended up comforting her with how upset she was. She even sent the pictures to the group chat that she received from the mom who was part of the organization of the event. Wanda panicked a little as she thought of the woman having access to photos that could potentially kill her story. But Agatha thankfully mentions that the photographer was an amateur that didn't have enough memory to take photos after a certain point in the night. The last picture that Agatha sends is of you smiling at Nebula. 

Wanda tries to disregard the twinge of jealousy that she feels when she sees you happy with the other woman. Then she remembers whose bed you woke up in this morning and she is filled with joy again. She agrees to a movie night with Carol but she regrets it the moment she realizes she can't pretend to be sad. She tries to look at old photos of her and Vision and nothing. He has no affect on her emotions anymore. Then she tries to look at the image of you and Nebula but she can't get sad again. 

Jean ignores you when you come home. You were a couple of minutes late because of a few traffic jams. She was clearly upset with you but you could care less. You are on cloud nine because you finally have the woman that you’ve been pining for. It had only been close to a year, but it felt like centuries. 

Once you’ve changed into a fresh set of clothes, you start to make breakfast. You have music blasting on the bluetooth speakers you hardly ever use. She comes in, receptive to your energy, singing along with you. Even when she takes control of the music you are still dancing around and singing. Full of energy. 

“Why are you so happy?” Rachel asks with a mouth full of pancakes and eggs. 

“I’m always happy!” You say as you pour syrup on your plate. 

“Not this happy!” She giggles and her laugh is infectious. 

“What? Come on, I’m happy like this,” you make a silly face. “And I’m happy like this,” you make another silly face which makes her laugh harder. “And I’m happy like this!” You take a banana wheel from your plate and dip a side of it in syrup then glue it to your nose and make another silly face.

“No, baba! That’s sticky and gross!” She says as she knocks the banana off of your face with her giggles.

“You’re right, eat your food and we’ll go to a movie or something. You deserve a happy day,” you say as you stab your food with your fork. 

“Can we wait for mom to come home?” She asks as she eats her food. Her voice is so innocent and sweet. You nod with a smile. 

“Sure, we can wait for mom. She might not want to go though. Will that be okay?” You ask as you watch your daughter. She has no idea what happened last night and you want to tell her every little detail. You refrain from it because when you do tell her about you and Wanda, you want to say that you're marrying her. You want to have proof that it's forever. Of course, you can't be certain that the marriage will last forever. But you want to believe that you can. 

“Yeah, I guess that will be okay too,” she frowns a bit as she continues to eat. Then she perks up. “Do you think we can invite Billy and Tommy and Ms. Wanda?” Her eyes are wide as she asks. The excitement evident in her face. 

“Sorry, sweetheart. The boys are with their dad until tomorrow,” you say apologetically. 

“Oh, that's right. I'm not supposed to be here until tomorrow too. Sorry,” she finishes the food on her plate then looks back up at you. “When can I go back to mommy's house?” 

You chew slowly as you consider an answer that will be helpful for your daughter. Another thing that you hate about this situation is the lack of communication between you and Jean. You have no idea how her marriage is going. You have no idea when she's going to be moving back home. You have no idea how long she's going to be gone for today. 

“I’ll tell you what,” you say as you finish up your plate. “I'll call Wanda and ask if she and the boys are available tomorrow or at least some time this week. How does that sound?”

Rachel perks up again, happy about the idea. But then her energy drops. “I still want to go back to mommy's house. I didn't get to pack any of my things.” 

“Honey, what would you need to pack? You have enough stuff here,” you take her hand in yours as you read her face. 

“Because mommy got to pack some of her things,” Rachel says. “I didn't get to do that. I miss my stuff. I miss my room. I miss the house. I miss Anna.” She starts to grow emotional and you are quick to pick her up out of her chair to hold her as she cries. You tell her that it's okay to miss things when she apologizes. That it’s okay to miss her other mom. 

When she stops crying, you tell her to go shower and get ready. You grab your phone and you send a text to Jean letting her know that she needs to arrange a day for Anna to hang out with her daughter since Rachel misses her. Then you walk to the balcony from your room and call Wanda. “Miss me already?” Wanda says as she answers the phone. Her voice has a smile to it that is infectious as you feel one tug at your lips. 

“Very much,” you sigh into the phone. “Rachel wants us all to hang out tomorrow, if that’s okay.” 

“I wish we could. My mom does this thing for the kids at the beginning of summer. Her and Pietro set up some tents in her backyard and she does a mini camp out. My grandpa used to do that for me and Pietro when we were kids. She always says that he did many things wrong, that was one tradition he did right. And she wants to pass it down,” she explains. 

Then you curse as you remember that you need to request time off for your camping tradition with Rachel. “I can’t believe I almost forgot this year. So much has been going on, she needs some normalcy,” you respond to Wanda’s concern. 

“I’m sure Pietro already has it on the schedule for you,” she assures you. “Anyway, I’m sure we can arrange for the kids to get together at some point this week. How is she doing?”

“She’s confused,” you sigh and shake your head. “It pisses me off that I can’t give her any answers. But I’ll save my frustrations for the shed.” Then you look up to the sky and smile. “Rachel noticed that I’m currently happier than I’ve ever been.” 

“Oh yeah? What were you doing? Skipping around the apartment singing love songs,” her tone is teasing and it makes you chuckle because that’s pretty much what you did. Without you confirming it, she knows that she was right. “See, you have to play it cool. If we're going to get any privacy at all. For instance, I have to pretend like you left with Nebula last night because Carol feels bad that my plan to win you over didn’t work. Something that would be happening had I been rejected.” 

“In my defense, according to you, I got some last night and I think I would be pretty happy about it,” you jokingly mention, making Wanda snort. 

“Okay weirdo, go tell your daughter that you got laid last night because that's better,” she retorts, making you laugh. 

“Alright, I get your point. I'll tone it down. But I can't promise the same for when we get some alone time together,” an electric current runs through your body at the simple thought of spending time alone with Wanda. You get filled with a fresh energy just thinking about her. 

“Good, I'd expect nothing less,” she giggles as she imagines you jumping up and down shouting that you are in love with her. She knows that it’s not something that you would ever do. But it’s cute to picture it in her mind. “I’ll let you go, I have to think of sad things to be thinking about to prepare for Carol tonight.” 

You chuckle at the idea that Wanda has to put up a facade that she is sad and rejected. You almost make a joke about giving her some pointers. But you refrain from it, unsure what her reaction would be. You don't want to make her feel guilty about focusing on herself. 

“Alright, good luck with that. I'll call you tomorrow? Or you'll call me when you can? I'll text you,” you don't know why you're rambling as nervously as you are. But it gets a giggle from Wanda. 

“I'll text you later,” Wanda says, then she ends the call and you try not to celebrate the fact that you have won her over. You have to play it cool. So you head back inside and wait for Rachel to finish getting ready. You scroll through the movies that are currently in the theaters and check on the ones she may or may not like to see what times and seats are available. Then you text Jean for an estimate of when she'll be returning and add that you're giving your daughter a fun day and that she wanted to spend it with her mom as well. 

Jean still isn't responding to any of your messages and you figure that she is still busy with her couples counseling session with Anna. You worry that you'll waste a day waiting for her to come home when Rachel wobbles out of the bathroom in her princess themed town with a crown hood to her bedroom.

You really want to give her a good day since she has been through a lot and still has a boot on her leg. 

An hour goes by with you and Rachel on the couch watching television before you finally get a message from Jean. She says that she needs a “pick-me-up” and would be happy to have a fun day. Then she responds to the message about Anna and says that after the session they had today, she isn't sure if that will be possible. Then she says she's on her way home.

You inform Rachel only that her mom is joining on the fun day and that she'll be home soon. She cheers and doesn't ask any questions other than what movie she should pick to see at the theater. You show her the options and she takes a long time. 

“Which one will be good for you and mommy?” She asks because in the past the two of you would argue forever about what to put on when it came to watching movies at home. You shake your head. 

“It's your day, munchkin. Don't worry about us. We'll be happy with whatever you want. Okay?” You tell her as you rub her back to ease her fears. She had grown to be such a people pleaser and it's not a terrible thing to be. But a lot of anxiety comes with that and you want her to be okay with being a little selfish sometimes. It's okay to ask for her to ask for what she wants from time to time. 

When Jean returns, her eyes are red and her cheeks are blotchy. She was lucky enough to come at a time when Rachel was in the bathroom. You help Jean get to your bedroom and ask her what’s going on. 

She starts to cry again as she sits on the edge of your bed. “Anna went on a date. She told me that she needed to be reminded of why she married me in the first place and that she needed to see if things would be easier with someone else.” You shake your head as you sit next to Jean and rub her back with soothing circles. As she starts to sob, you pull her towards you as you do your best to comfort her. Sure, she puts you through a lot but at the end of the day she is Rachel’s mother and she is your childhood friend. You can’t seem to let go of that. No matter how hard you try. 

“Did she say anything else?” You ask when she starts to settle down a bit. Jean nods against your chest. “What did she say?” You want to see what Anna said about the situation first before you say anything about it. Because right now, you want to have her kicked out of the house she is in because she doesn’t own it. 

“She said that she couldn’t see herself building a life with anyone but me. That nothing happened on the date. All she did was listen to the woman yap on and on and that made her realize she only wants to listen to me yap. Which kind of felt offensive but was also very sweet. Then she went on and on about how she loves me and how she would never betray my trust like that again,” she moves out of your arms to blow her nose in the tissues she pulls from the box on your nightstand. 

“How does that make you feel?” You ask as you watch her. 

“Cheated. Betrayed. Hurt,” she sniffles in between each word. You nod as you start to rub her back again. “It also makes me unbelievably angry at her. Because she is the reason we are going through any of this at all. It’s her fault that we’re separated. It’s her fault that my relationship with you is strained and my daughter is confused. I’m just… UGH!” She stands up as she starts to pace around the room. There’s not much you can do when she gets upset like this other than to just sit and listen. If you had said that there was nothing that could bring your mood down earlier, she just turned you into a liar. 

Jean’s rants are cut short when Rachel knocks on the door and asks if she can come in. She freezes and hides in the bathroom while you step out. You apologize to Rachel for worrying her and assure her that you and her mom were just talking. You sit her in front of the television to be distracted while you finish with Jean. Thankfully, when you close the door and Jean comes out, she has washed her face and looks a lot calmer. She pulls you into a tight hug. 

“Thank you for putting up with me,” she sighs with her eyes closed. “I’m going to shower and then I’ll be ready for the fun day with you and Rach. How are we doing with time?” 

You pull away and look at your watch, “We still have a couple of hours before the movie starts. We already bought the tickets. Rachel was certain that you were going to join us because she wants you to be happy today too. So, please, even if you can’t get happy… just fake it for her. She’s eleven, she doesn’t need to put up with your marital problems.” 

Jean nods and agrees to put on a brave face for Rachel. You leave her to get ready and grab something nicer for you to wear and get changed in the main restroom before joining Rachel on the couch. She snuggles up to your side and you smile as you realize that the age of her rejecting you is creeping closer and closer each year. You dread the day that finally happens but embrace this moment while you can still enjoy it. 

“That movie was so funny!” Rachel says as she replays her favorite moments in the movie as the three of you walk out together. She is jumping around and shows off the themed popcorn bucket, happy that she was able to get one. 

“You know you shouldn’t have gotten her that,” Jean quietly says. 

You shrug, “Today is her day to be happy and carefree and look at her,” you point out that she is having fun with her popcorn bucket. Jean laughs at her silly daughter. “Just let her be happy. You’re probably going to have to break some pretty tough news to her soon.” She nods as she lets out a deep sigh. She pushes away her feelings towards her current issues as Rachel runs up to her and asks her what's wrong. Jean looks to you because you’re better at coming up with something on the spot. “Mommy is jealous she couldn’t get one of those. But she is very happy for you!” You tap her nose. 

Rachel groans and rolls her eyes at the boop. “Baba, I’m eleven now. Don't boop me anymore. That’s for babies.” Your heart drops as you see this being the beginning of the end. 

“Oh, my apologies,” you say as you hold your hands up in surrender. 

“It’s okay, you forgot,” Rachel shrugs. “Can we get takeaway for dinner?” She asks as she fidgets with her bucket. “I want to go home and watch the other movies!” 

You frown as you scratch the back of your neck. “Are you sure you don’t want to eat somewhere nice? Or go to the park?” 

“Baba, it’s my day,” she reminds you and you chuckle as you agree. 

“You’re right,” you lift her on your back and hold your reaction when you adjust to holding her weight. It wasn’t because she was too heavy to carry, it was because you were anticipating a lighter weight. You hadn’t realized that she’s grown so much. “This is queen Rachel’s day. And she wants takeaway and the rest of the Despicable Minion movies!” She laughs when you combine the titles in the big old English accent you were attempting. 

“Onward!” She giggles as she uses her bucket to point to the parking lot. 

Jean laughs as she walks behind you. She hasn’t seen this side of either of you in some time. Anna is more focused on what’s better for Rachel’s emotional and physical development. Which wouldn’t be a bad thing if she was silly every now and then. Jean is starting to question if Rachel’s eating habit started because of the overly healthy food that Anna was enforcing around the house and it grew from there. Jean is starting to think that maybe Anna wasn’t as good for them as she previously thought. In the car, you and Rachel go back and forth as you try to beat each other to saying “I love you” first and it makes Jean nostalgic. She hadn’t realized how much she missed days like this. 

Wanda is pacing back and forth, anticipating Carol’s arrival. She isn’t certain it will just be Carol or if she’s planning on bringing Valkyrie with her. Will there be another group call with Agatha and Darcy? She doesn’t know what to expect for this night of comfort. She isn’t sure if she can pretend for more than one person tonight without imploding. 

She only has herself to blame for this predicament. It wasn’t supposed to go this way. She was supposed to be celebrating out loud about the results of last night. But then she felt herself begin to freeze. The pressure of telling everyone that she found someone that she is certain about, again. To then include everyone in every aspect because they all feel invested in the relationship. She didn’t want to make a fool of herself again. Not after the nightmare that Vision is. But she also doesn’t want the responsibility if things aren’t as good as she made them up to be in her mind. 

Wand closes her eyes and stands still in her living room. She counts to five as she takes slow breaths to center herself. She needs to stop spiraling. She needs to be present. Wanda knew that working herself up was going to benefit her performance tonight, but it was going to hurt her for weeks. She doesn’t want to shorten the honeymoon phase with you. She wants to bask in the glow of a brand new relationship a bit longer. 

The knock on her door has her racing to open it in order to get this night over with. Carol rushes past her while holding a plastic bin full of items that Carol has prepared for the night. Valkyrie walks in behind the blonde with a kind smile. She hugs Wanda as she apologizes for the plan failing. 

“Oh it wasn’t anyone’s fault,” Wanda waves it off as she steps out of the hug and shuts and locks the front door behind her. 

“I know, but it’s just… one of those things to say,” Valkyrie shrugs and Wanda nods. She couldn’t argue with that. 

“What’s all this?” Wanda asks as she peeks into Carol’s bin. She is confused by the contents. 

“We tried the natural way, now we’re going to try the witchy way!” Carol says happily. “I got all of this stuff together as per Agatha’s instructions.” She proudly admires the bin on the kitchen table with her hands on her hips. Wanda looks at Valkyrie who just rolls her eyes and mutters something about having tried all day to talk Carol out of it. 

“Agatha put you up to this?” Wanda asks as she rummages through the bin with a frown. Carol nods with a big grin. The brunette nods as she realizes that she is way out of her depth. She expected rom-coms or maybe horror movies. She expected comfort foods and wine. She expected a group phone call where everyone took turns telling sob stories about failed relationships or crushes that didn’t become anything more than that. She did not expect witchcraft as a solution to cheer her up. 

“We are doing spells to either make you fall in love with me or make your next date go terrible, I will keep you posted,” you try not to laugh too hard at the text you receive from Wanda. Included is a picture of Carol and Valkyrie on a video call with someone and a bunch of ingredients for something odd all over the table. You don’t respond as you put your phone back into your pocket. The three of you eat pizza together at the kitchen table with the movie marathon for Rachel playing on the television. She is hardly paying attention to the conversation as she has her eyes glued to the screen, no matter how much you try to bring her focus to the conversation. So you stop trying and Jean moves on from the childish subject. She is currently more curious about your relationship status than she is interested in talking about the camping trip you’re trying to plan with Rachel. 

“I wasn’t expecting you to not come home last night,” Jean says just above a whisper. You freeze and look over at Rachel to see if she was paying attention at all. She was on the edge of her seat watching the movie. 

“Honey, if you promise to be clean. You can eat your pizza on the couch,” you offer so that she doesn't fall over and hurt herself. She cheers as she adds a slice to her plate and grabs a handful of napkins to bring with her to the sofa. You focus on eating your food and ignore the comment that Jean made. But she doesn’t seem to take the hint. She assumes that you sent Rachel away for privacy. 

“Okay spill, what happened? I thought that you weren’t sure where you stood with Nebula?” Jean asks, careful to keep her volume low. 

You sigh through your nose and fight a smile as you think of the events of the previous night. You don’t want to tell her anything about anything. “Yeah, I just needed a night to myself in a real bed. I didn’t stay with anyone.” 

“Oh, I'm sorry. I hadn't realized that you were so uncomfortable,” Jean says as she places her hand on your forearm. You shrug with a small huff of a laugh.

“You never ask,” you remind her. 

Jean nods as she moves her hand back and forth on your arm. “Reading you was never really something I was ever good at. Was it?” 

You shake your head as you lean back in your seat and dust off your hands as you finish your pizza slice. “No, it never was. But that’s okay,” you give her a tight closed mouth smile then you push back on your seat and rise. You grab her plate and yours and take them to the garbage in the kitchen. You keep your back turned to her in the kitchen as you check your phone. Wanda has sent more pictures of the spell casting process. You can’t believe that her friends believe any of it is going to work. She confirms that they’re doing a spell to ruin your next date because the process was easier and you respond by reminding her that she will be your next date so whatever happens she only has herself to blame. 

You put your phone in your pocket and turn around to a surprise. Jean is standing in front of you. She is close and there is a familiar look in her eyes. You shake your head, even though you can’t read her mind, she is pretty predictable. You should’ve known that she would try something when she came back crying about Anna’s date. 

“Please,” she begs in a whisper as she puts her hand on your cheek to keep you in place. There are tears on the brim of her eyes as she gets closer. You put your hand on her wrist to remove her hand but she is quick to kiss you on the lips. You quickly shove her off of you. 

“Jean, I cannot believe you right now,” you say with a stern tone. You move out of the kitchen to keep yourself from exploding on her. She will not ruin your daughter’s day by starting an argument with you. This is a much smaller space than the house. It would be impossible for you and her to argue without Rachel hearing. You join Rachel on the sofa and keep your eyes on the animated movie on the screen. 

Jean doesn’t leave the kitchen for some time. She is having a hard time with her emotions. She hates feeling rejected and lately that’s all she is feeling. From you. From her wife. From everyone except Rachel. If anything, she can continue to be a good mother. She walks out of the kitchen only to bid you and Rachel a goodnight before heading to bed. She holds and cries herself to sleep as she thinks about her recent actions. She doesn’t feel in control. She misses the control. 

The next day, you go grocery shopping by yourself so that you can talk to Wanda about what happened with Jean. You don’t want to hide something like this from her. The first time you call her, you’re in the car. She doesn’t pick up and you decide to wait for her to call you back. You focus on getting to the store safely instead of calling her again. While you’re at the store, your focus is on grabbing the items from the list but you can’t help the anxious feeling of wanting to speak to Wanda. You take a moment to stop in the middle of an aisle to check your phone for any missed messages or calls. You don’t see any so you continue on with your shopping. 

As you’re loading the groceries into your car, that’s when your phone goes off. The moment that you have your hands full of bags of course is when your phone finally goes off. You quickly get the groceries into the trunk and then struggle to pull your phone out or your pocket. You are filled with joy when you see the picture of Wanda with Tommy and Billy and their fresh mullets to match yours at the time. 

“Hey, sorry I couldn’t pick up earlier. I was trying to get Carol and Val out of here. They’re gone now and I’m getting ready to pick up the boys from their dads house,” Wanda says as soon as you answer. You continue to load the rest of the bags as you listen to her ramblings. “Was there something you needed to talk about or were you just missing me?” You can hear the smile in her voice and it warms your heart. 

“If I say both, does that mean your witchcraft worked on me,” you joke as you close the opening of the boot of the vehicle. You walk the shopping cart over to the cart corral because you hate when people leave them in an empty parking spot. 

“That’s funny,” she says with a small reaction to your joke. “We didn’t do anything that would work and if we did, we didn’t do anything that would have you under my spell or whatever.” She corrects your wrong assumptions of the night and you laugh. You climb into your car and warn her that she is about to switch over to the vehicle's speaker system. She points out that she was just about to do the same. The both of you say hello until you can confirm that everything is working correctly. “Okay, so what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?”

“Jean kissed me,” you blurt out almost instantly. You freeze as you wait for her to respond before you even try to pull out of the parking spot. Then you relax a bit when you register Wanda’s laugh. “Did you hear me correctly? Do I need to repeat myself?”

“No, no, I heard you. I just, I’m sorry,” she starts to control her laughter. “I’ve been expecting this pretty much since you told me that she was staying with you and her marriage is falling apart. It’s, honestly, I’m surprised she has held out this long,” Wanda explains her reaction and you can’t disagree. This is very on par with Jean’s actions. You can’t help that you hope she changes but you can’t be disappointed when she shows you who she is. 

“Yeah, well, it happened and I wanted you to know. I know that you know it meant nothing to me but it still felt important to tell you,” you say as you pull out of the parking lot and merge into traffic. 

“Thank you,” Wanda says with relief in her tone. “That, it means a lot to me that you didn’t hide it. I’m glad you told me.” She knew she wouldn’t have to worry about trusting you. She also finds it kind of ironic that you used the example of someone else kissing her and on the same day, Jean kisses you. “And you’ll have to remember how cool I was about this in the future. Just saying,” she adds with a short giggle. 

You roll your eyes but chuckle, “Alright, I will store it in my memory.” You reply sarcastically. The two of you fall silent, each of you focusing on your separate drives. “So, when are we going on this disastrous first date?” You ask as you get close to your apartment building. 

“Hmm, how about next Sunday after I drop the boys off with their father? I know I don’t have them tonight but I don’t want us to have to cut the date short in case there is an emergency.” Wanda suggests. 

“Next Sunday it is,” you agree, you pull into the parking garage and drive up to your floor. “Are we still good to set up something for the kids this week?” 

“Um… yeah. I think we should be. I don’t think I have any projects that will take over my evenings this week. But boy, the lineup for this year is going to be insane. I don’t think I want to work for Tony ever again. He is such a drama queen about the sketches for the next Stark building.” You chuckle as she complains about her former brother-in-law’s behavior about the building she is supposed to design for him. “I have to let you go, I’m close to Vision’s house and I do not have it in me to hear him bitching today.” 

“No worries, love. I need to get the girls to help me with the groceries,” you say as you park and shut the engine of the car off. 

“You can’t give me a pet name right now!” Wanda shouts and you laugh at her reaction. Loving the effect a simple pet name can have on her. “Vision hates when I have joy in my life!” She continues to scold you. 

“Okay, okay,” you say through your laughter. “What can I call you to change your mood?” 

“Ugh, nothing at this point. I really have to get off the phone now,” She says as she slows her car. “Okay, love you, bye!” The car goes silent and you sigh, unable to say a proper goodbye for yourself. You allow the warmth of the way she says her goodbye so naturally settle in your chest. It’s as if that’s how the two of you have always ended a conversation. It fills you with so much joy that this is going to be your new normal. It fills you with excitement that one day you will be pulling into her driveway with a car full of groceries. Either with her or coming home to her. You can see it all now. You want to take the leap and make the fantasies a reality but you agreed to go at her pace. There is still a lot that neither of you don’t know about each other and even though you’re certain that you’ll love her no matter what, you don’t want to rush anything. You’ve seen what rushing a relationship looks like. You won’t make those mistakes yourself.

Chapter 22

Taglist: @princessprudy @sayah13 @agaymilflover @awkwardmandalorian @bentleywolf29 @thatshyboy1998 @artisannat @thisischaismagic @wqndanat @madamevirgo @likefirenrain @tearsofglitter @feltlikethat @the-writer-arcane @natashasilverfox @karsonromanoff @aloneodi @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @jovialsublimecomputer @natasha-maximoff @iliketozoneout @doudouneverte @druggedduck @diealittlesometime @when-wolves-howl @lifespectator @justyourwritter69 @wandaromamoff69 @awesomelygayasf @nekoannie-chan @diaryoflife @wuwu96 @wandanats-goodgirl @sincerely-indi @blueredg52 @sisiofthemultifandom @fuzzyuniversityeclipsefriend @arcturusseer @scarlettwidow34 @chasethemoon @raven-ss @canyonyodeler @sokovianbaby @alexawynters @bittysworld @hopeless-romantic17177 @spongebobtentacles @the-ox-fan20 @shaniiwm @casualreadersstuff @neopolitan-torchwick

[xoxoavenger]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! 🎁🎈🎂🎉🎊 I loved Try Me (Matt Murdock x Reader), I was wondering if maybe you could write a sequel? I could see an intimate moment where she’s feeding him the soup she made and taking care of him, potentially with the hilarity of Foggy finding out he’s got two super powered friends

thanks! hopefully this is what you were looking for, I had fun writing it!

Ask Me

pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

word count: 1099

warnings: none

part 1

birthday masterlist main masterlist

"I can't believe you're Daredevil." She mutters as she ladles the soup into a bowl. She made a broth more than a soup because she didn't have time to cut the vegetables, but it'll do the trick. She also didn't know the extent of Matt's injures, and she didn't want him to have trouble eating anything. "Does Foggy know?" She asks as she brings the bowl over to the couch.

"Yes," Matt chuckles, but his teeth are clenched in pain. She kneels next to the couch and she is still shocked by his injuries, even though she's already seen them. He has a large cut across his chest, and resists the urge to touch it.

She watches Matt try to sit up, but he's clearly in too much pain. She puts the soup on the ground in favor of helping him up. She tries not to let her pulse rush as she touches his bare back and bicep, pulling him up gently until he is sitting up enough to eat.

"Here, let's get you some food." She tells him, spooning some broth and then carefully helping him eat some. It's so quiet in the apartment that she swears she can feel her own heart race as she feeds Matt. They're close, and her brain is reeling with the thought of how Matt, and blind man, can be a vigilante.

"I think that's good." Matt groans when they're about three fourths of the way though the bowl. She gets up to put the bowl away and grab a warm, wet cloth.

"How are you Daredevil?" She asks, sinking down to her knees again and beginning to wipe off the blood around his wounds.

"Are you asking if I'm actually blind?" He questions, but he's smiling, so she can tell he's joking. 

"I know you're blind, Matt." She says with a small sigh. She's seen his unfocused eyes too many times to think he was just preteneding. 

"All my other senses are heightened." He tells her, tensing as she begins to wipe a big, deep cut. She hopes that soon her healing food will kick in; she's never seen it help on this level, and she's worried it won't work as well as Matt is hoping it will.

"So, you can hear really good?" She asks, wondering what exactly that means. He shrugs, smiling a little bit.

"And smell, and taste. And feel. I have to have specific sheets because of how sensitive my skin is." He's feeling better, she can tell, and it makes her smile.

"How did figure it out?" She asks quietly. She's had these powers ever since she can remember, but she'd never told anyone and no one ever figured it out either. This is a first, sharing a gift, and she can't help but feel a little scared.

"That your food could heal people?" He clarifies. She almost nods, but then catches herself.

"Yeah," She confirms.

"You asked me what happened again the day after you first gave me the croissant, as if you knew it should have gone away. And I usually have accelerated healing anyway, but not that fast. You wouldn't have known that." He's starting to relax more, and she knows he needs to get some sleep soon.

"You wanna move to the bed?" She asks, putting the cloth down and preparing to move him. Before he can answer, Foggy comes stomping back in.

"So both of my best friends are super heroes?" He yells, throwing the drugstore bag in their general direction. Y/N's eyes widen as Foggy walks to them.

"I am not a super hero." Y/N clarifies.

"I wouldn't classify myself as one either." Matt interjects, a hand out to stop Foggy's rant. It does nothing, and Foggy soldiers on.

"You can feel, hear, and smell things no human should be able to feel, hear, and smell." He points at Matt, who raises an eyebrow. "And you can heal people with your food, that you've been feeding me for months!" Foggy moves to Y/N, and she just shakes her head.

"Have you ever wondered why you haven't gotten sick in months?" She asks, and he just scoffs.

"That proves my point!" He screams. Y/N and Matt shake their heads, Matt smirking.

"Foggy, neither of us are superheroes. You don't need to freak out." Matt tries to calm him down, but Foggy just gets more worked up.

"Are you kidding me? You could be Avengers for all I know!" Foggy grabs the bag that he had thrown and begins to get some of the bandages and Neosporin out to help Matt.

"Oh my God," Y/N groans, rolling her eyes and putting her head in her hands. Honestly, Foggy freaking out was kinda funny, but she isn't sure if he's being serious now or not.

"We're not Avengers, Foggy." Matt chuckles, and Y/N begins to put bandages over Matt's injuries.

"Well I just don't know that, do I?" Foggy looks over at the pot on the stove, walking over there quickly. "What did you make?"

"Just a quick broth. I wanted to get Matt something quick." She tells Foggy as she begins to focus on the task at hand.

"Is this why I haven't gotten paper cuts?" Foggy asks as he ladles a little soup out for himself.

"It doesn't make you skin extra strong, Fog." Matt tells him as she continues bandaging him up. Her hands brushing his skin make Matt want to crawl out of his skin in a good way, which didn't make sense until this very moment.

"Did I hurt you?" Y/N asks softly when he tenses.

"No," He mutters, putting a hand on her wrist to stop her. "It's okay, I think the big ones are taken care of." He just wants to lay down and sleep it off now, but he wants to ask her one more thing.

"Let me help you to your room." She offers, and together, with him leaning on her, they make it to Matt's room.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" He asks as they sit down. He can feel the heat begin to flush her cheeks, her heart beginning to race. He's worried still that maybe she feels uncomfortable until she responds.

"Working." She thinks she's funny, and Matt chuckles.

"Do you want to go to Josie's with me tomorrow night?" He asks, and she ducks her head and smiles.

"As long as my boss lets me off on time." She says, nudging him with her shoulder.

"I'll talk to him." He tells her, both of them smiling hard enough that their cheeks hurt.

//

tags: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187  @one-sweet-gubler @thefandomplace  @mcueveryday @icequeen1371 @kenzi-woycehoski @multifandom-boss-bitch

[kangaroosmile]

Washing away the bad energy - Jisung

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description: When you come home after work you find a tired Jisung on your sofa who had a very bad day. You offer him to wash all the bad energy away.

pairing: Han Jisung x gnreader

genre: fluff, boyfriend Jisung, gnreader, non-sexual nudity, reader is taking care of Jisung, you help Jisung take a shower

word count: ~1.7 k

trigger warning: nudity (non-sexual), mentioning of food and eating, mental health issues

A/N: If there are any tags or tw you think I should add, please inform me about it ♡ but now enjoy the story.

You can find more of my stories under Stray Kids Masterlist

-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-

When you opened the door to your apartment, the light in your living room was turned on. When you walked further in, you noticed Jisung sitting on your sofa deeply wrapped in your favourite blanket. He was watching a documentary, his eyes focused on your TV. You placed the takeaway on your kitchen table and walked over towards Jisung. When you stopped in front of him he finally seemed to notice you. And you noticed how tired he looked.

"How was your day?", Jisung asked.

"Tiring. How are you?" He kept quiet for a moment, looking towards the tv instead of answering. "You don't need to tell me how you are right now", you whispered, softly playing with his hair. "Just tell me what you need right now." A soft smile appeared on his face as his glance turned back to you. He slowly opened his arms and it just took you a second to drive into his arms. You made yourself comfortable as Jisung wrapped his arms around you tightly. A soft sigh escaped Jisungs lips.

For a few moments you two just listened to the documentary which was still playing on the TV.

"I got us both some takeaway. If you want, we can eat that and then we can do what you want. What do you think?", you asked, while running your hand through his hair.

"What have you bought?", he mumbled against your shoulder, his eyes softly closed.

"Bibimbap and cheesecake."

"Nice!", Jisung said, slowly getting up from your sofa, still wrapped in the big blanket. You got up as well and grabbed the takeaway bag to sit down next to Jisung at your coffee table. You let him open the bag and watched as a wide smile appeared on his lips.

"Thanks for grabbing takeaway", he whispered, shortly leaning in and placing his head on your shoulder.

"When you texted me, asking whether you could stop by after work I knew I just wanted to spoil you a bit." Hearing this, Jisung softly moved his body against you as a whine left his mouth. Laughing at his reaction, you carried his cheeks for a second.

"Let's eat before everything gets cold." Jisung nodded and started to dig in. In silence and with the television in the background you two are. You learned to enjoy this side of your relationship just as much as the cheerful times. After a while Jisung had stopped eating and was now just looking at you. His eyes started to move from you to his hands and back again. "Is there anything I can do for you?" Jisung let out a deep breath.

"I don't want to force myself on you. I… what if you don't want to do what I ask you for but you are doing it anyways?", he ranted, looking everywhere but at you.

"Jisungie", you mumbled, taking his hands in yours. "I know you have these thoughts and I know it's hard to let them go. But I can assure you that I am fine with everything. Otherwise I wouldn't say yes to it", you explained. "And I will tell you this every time you ask." You smiled at him, hoping it was looking encouraging and honest. His glance fell on his hands again.

"I'm sorry that I am like this." Hr whispered.

"There is nothing you need to feel sorry about." He stayed silent and you knew he was thinking about what you had said. Then he softly nodded his head. You were not sure whether he was really believing in what you have said but you would tell him that every time he would need to hear it. "Will you tell me what was on your mind?"

"I wanted to ask whether I could side hug you but then I was unsure because you were still eating and I didn't want to interrupt you", he then explained.

"Oh Sungie", you breathed, softly patting his cheek. "Of course you can do that. And thank you for being honest with me. It really means a lot to me." Jisungs shoulders went down a bit as he exhaled. Without another word Jisung leaned in and hugged you from the side. You placed a short kiss on the top of his head and then finished the rest of your Bibimbap.

"Today was hard", whispered Jisung after a while. "I got up too late which meant I didn't have enough time to prepare for the day." You wrapped your free arm around him and pulled him closer. "Then the yoghurt I wanted to eat had gone bad. And one of the managers said my song is too dark so we can't use it in our next comeback."

"Oh that's a lot in one day", you muttered.

"It was", he said, his voice trembling and his eyes already watery. If possible, you pulled him even closer.

"But you did it. You got through everything and now you are here", you mumbled carrying his back.

"Yes… I did", he replied, his voice still trembling.

"You can be proud of yourself."

"You know what we will do now?", you asked, backing away a bit to look at Jisung. The other looked confused and shook his head. "We will wash all the bad things away. Of course only if you are comfortable with this", you suggested, feeling a bit nervous because it would be something new. You have never seen him completely naked and you didn't know whether Jisung was fine with this or not.

"You would do that for me?", he asked, his eyes wide and his eyebrows high up. As you stood up, you nodded and held your hand out towards him. He took it and let himself be pulled up. Together you walked towards your bath.

"I will get you a new towel and a few clothes you left the last time around", you told him, while playing with his hair. He softly nodded and as you left your bathroom he started to undress himself. You were humming a soft melody as you walked back in. Jisung had his back towards you already completely naked. Carefully you stroked over his wide shoulders which made him fall slightly against you. A light sigh escaped his mouth and he leaned even more into you. You wrapped your arms around his upper body and his hands closed around yours in front of his chest. For a moment you stayed like this. Just enjoying having him close but then you carefully patted his chest.

"Let's wash all the bad energy off." At that, Jisung nodded and slowly stepped into the bathtub. He crouched down and waited as you turned the water on. "Is the temperature alright for you?", you asked while letting the water run over Jisungs hands.

"Yes. That's nice", he mumbled and closed his eyes as you started to let the warm water run over his back and shoulders. You softly started to continue the melody you had hummed earlier, carefully spreading the shampoo over Jisungs shoulders, neck, back and chest.

"I'm gonna smell like you", muttered Jisung, looking up with a wide but tired looking smile. You couldn't hold back a giggle as you nodded and kissed his still dry hair.

"That's true. My Jisungie will smell like me." It made him laugh lightly, leaning against your hand which was now on his head. "Can I wash your hair now?", you asked softly as you stroked through his hair. Letting out a sigh, he nodded as an answer. When his hair was wet and washed you let the warm water run over his body a few more moments. His shoulders seemed much more relaxed now. He looked quite adorable playing with the small runlet of water.

"Thank you for this" muttered Jisung and looked up to you. You smiled back at him.

"Do you want to get out now?" Without saying anything he stood up and closed the tap, while you stepped back and held a towel out for him to grab. After a moment Jisung accepted the towel and began to pat his body dry. Meanwhile you took a hairdryer out of one of your small bathroom cabinets and plucked it in. When you turned towards Jisung again he had dressed himself already. You nearly cooed seeing him standing there in front of you with sleepy eyes and sweater paws. "Let's dry your hair a bit. What do you think, jagi?", you whispered as you held out a hand for him to take. You saw Jisungs cheeks softly turning pink and a bright smile appearing on his lips. He sat down on the edge of the bathtub and closed his eyes when you started to dry his hair. You parted his hair a few times, always careful to not pull at his hair. And when his hair was dry enough you turned off the hairdryer.

Suddenly Jisung leaned forwards right against your body, slowly wrapping his arms around your torso.

"I am so grateful for having you in my life", he whispered against your hoodie but you heard him nonetheless.

"And I am so thankful to have you in my life as well", you replied to his confession and placed a soft kiss on his forehead.

"Can we go to your bed for some cuddles?"

"Just for cuddles? Does that mean you are planning to go to your own home tonight?", you asked jokingly, which made Jisung laugh.

"I would like to sleep here tonight, if that's alright." With a wide smile you nodded and pulled him up.

"Of course that's alright." As you two walked into your bedroom you noticed that Jisung seemed already in a lighter mood again. As Jisung made himself comfortable under your covers you changed into your pyjamas and shortly texted Chan. After that you joined Jisung and within minutes both of you had fallen asleep. With arms linked.

You:

Took care of Sungie. He is doing better again. We are going to sleep now. :)

21:58

Chan:

Thanks for taking care of Jisung in a way we can't. I really hope we can all meet soon again.

Sleep well you two.

22:01

[spcewild]

hi, I recently read ur Leon fic and never laughed so hard. Could I request one where his wife was out hanging with her friends leaving him with the kids. But he gets a random zoom call or something having to leave the kids playing with themselves—got bored and start looking for him resulting the kids walking on him and just chaos. Thank you

(Hii anon, sorry this took so long! I've been really busy recently but I finally got to it! I wanted to do Death Island Leon since.. we all know he's a literal dilf. I mean, c'mon. Anyways I hope u enjoy this!!)

Unattended

Pairing: Leon Kennedy (death island ver.) x (fem!) reader

Warnings: none

Summary: You're just going out with your friends. Your husband can handle the twins while he's on a zoom meeting right? No big deal. Except it is.

"I'll be back soon, hun."

You spoke to your husband, giving him a quick kiss before heading out the door. This would be the first time in a while that you would be able to go out without taking your kids with you. Usually, you would be the one who took care of them while Leon did most of the shopping or went out.

But after many words encouraged by your friends (even Leon approved), you finally decided to let loose and go out with your friends, leaving your husband to attend to the kids.

The reason why you were so wary about leaving Leon with the kids was.. well, they're kids. And you were the one who usually would deal with them. Crying? Hungry? You took care of them. Not that Leon didn't do anything because he certainly did, but you had just gotten into the habit of it.

The other reason was because your husband had a meeting. You didn't want him to be bombarded by the responsibility of having to watch the kids when he's busy in a meeting. But with words of reassurance from him, you reluctantly agreed.

After all , how hard could it be?

We're the words that Leon repeated in his head. So far it was fairly quiet. Which would usually be a good sign but with your kids? It was never a good sign..

They had to be planning something if they were this quiet. With a hesitant click, Leon entered the Zoom call that was supposedly to be a meeting. After a while, he soon adjusted to his quiet environment, focusing on the words of his boss as him and many other coworkers were speaking on different ideas. His focus tended to wander during his boss's long rant on whatever he was speaking on. However, unbeknownst to Leon; he had two little followers that were stalking his call. Your twins. Poking their head out from a wall to "sneakily" spy on Leon. The two children had planned this once you had left.

So with a thumbs up from your daughter as an indicator, your son sprung into action; doing a poor attempt at a cartwheel to hide behind another piece of furniture. The poor attempt making a thud as his foot hit the wall. Your daughter gave him a knowing look as if mocking him, whilst your son simply shrugged.

Hearing the thud, Leon snapped his head to the direction of the noise. Finding nothing he soon turned back to his meeting just in time for his boss to ask a question, throwing Leon off guard for a moment before his "uhhh" was cut off by a child's giggle. As he turned his head back behind him, he was finally met with the two children giggling. Your daughter particularly amused by the faces your son was making.

Leon quirked his brow confused for a moment before it clicked to him - your son was mocking his boss...

"Mr. Kennedy, do you intend on answering my question anytime soon?"

Leon heard his boss say in an annoyed tone, knowing it's better to reply rather than argue with his rude tone.

"Yes sir! Sorry sir, uhm.."

He stuttered over his words slightly before hearing the two children giggle once more. Now at Leon's nervous state, pushing a finger to his lips Leon gave the kids a shushing motion before being met with his daughter mocking his motion, the sticking her tongue out as the two laughed, leaving Leon to let out a sigh in defeat before trying to resume back to his meeting.

The meeting was only met by screaming and chaos by the children as Leon did his best to stay intact and interact calmly. His boss clearly unimpressed with his attempts.

After the long day (and meeting) had soon come to a close and you had returned, you were met with your husband's figure slumped over on the table and asleep as his laptop was open. You smiled to yourself as you brushed a strand of his hair from out of his face. Then looking to his computer for a moment before seeing the Google search on the screen read;

"How to get kids to stop interrupting me working"

AUTHORS NOTE:

Sorry this was rushed! I've been really busy recently but this was rlly fun to write <3

[44ants]

An Avid Listener

DBH Conner/ F!Reader One Shot

Sort of Yandere?

My first one shot! (I believe that's what it's called anyway. Or is it an imagine?) I'm currently hyper-fixated on DBH so I need to get it out of my system. This is pretty much just slapped together and not planned out at all.

"What are you listening to?"

"Can't you just fucking leave me alone? I'm trying to get this report written so I can leave!" Gavin whined exasperated. He glared at Conner from the corner of his eye. He desperately tried to shield the right side of his face with his hand, hoping the android would take the hint and leave.

"I'm trying to diversify my music choices. It was recommended to me that I ask others what they like to discover my own preferences. If you tell me, I'll leave you alone." Conner negotiated, rubbing his hands together before politely holding them behind his back. He hoped to look innocent and endearing to achieve his goal.

"Why the hell do you even want to listen to music? It's meant to provoke emotion! You know? To make you feel things?" Gavin wasn't even sure why he was entertaining the conversation at this point. What good was arguing with him if he always had a comeback locked and loaded?

"That's exactly what I'm hoping to achieve." He countered and cocked his head.

"I'm not even listening to music. It's a podcast."

"I have not listened to any podcasts yet. What is it about?"

He decided it was best to just give up and slammed his phone down on the desk. Conner leaned over and read what was on the screen: 'Myrtoalett'. It translated to 'Bog Toilet' in Swedish and the cover was of a crucified fetus. "Interesting. I'll come back to you and give you my feedback once I've finished listening." He turned to head back to his own desk conjoined with Hank's who was currently passed out in his chair.

"Please don't." Gavin murmured, "And good luck! There's, like, 400 episodes!"

Skimming roughly through articles and the basic summary of the podcast, he found that it was a talk show that covered serial killers, murders, and the paranormal. There were three hosts: Jeremy Tompson, Elias Rask, and Y/N. He decided he'd listen once he made it home with Hank.

To say the least, Conner was hooked. Every free moment he had that didn't require his full attention was spent listening to Myrtoalett. He struggled with finding the humor in some of the hosts' jokes and found some conversations a little too vulgar and distasteful, but actually paying attention to details of old cases despite already having a vast knowledge of them was very addicting to him. It brought a strange amount of satisfaction to him to anticipate where the case would go next and hearing every little disgusting detail of how serial killers enacted their murders. He took enjoyment in ignoring any previous knowledge he had about axe murderers or famous killers and just immersing himself in the stories. The comradery amongst the hosts was amusing as well, but mostly he found his enjoyment in the podcast from listening to this Y/N girl. There were three distinct roles between the hosts. Jeremy was the main host, went into the episodes with no previous knowledge about the topics, and forced the others to elaborate by asking questions. Elias provided the most comedic relief and went into in-depth conspiracy theory rants. Y/N was the main researcher. She seemingly spent weeks researching the topics they spoke about and mainly talked the most. He admired the dedication she had to finding each and every detail, no matter how minuscule. Conner thought she'd make a good detective and her story telling skills enraptured him. Her voice was soothing no matter how gruesome the topic and perfectly dictated the feelings you should have. Oh? The final victim of the Toy Box Killer is escaping? He felt like he was on the edge of his seat. A soldier is retelling his experiences from the Edwood Experiments? He was horrified. Police were describing what the inside of Ed Kemper's house was like? He was intrigued. JonBenet Ramsey's father discovered her corpse? There needed to be justice! This was exactly what he was looking for in discovering new media! Finding something that would evoke new emotions for him to discover since his deviancy.

It wasn't just her story telling that intrigued him, but the fact that she gave out such little details about her life compared to the other hosts. Rarely did she indulge the listeners in personal aspects of her life. It irritated him to no end to listen to Jeremy and Elias speak about their upbringings or what serial killers were from their state and knowing nothing about Y/N! He couldn't help himself but to look into her more. There was nothing wrong with that, right? She was a celebrity! Their podcast had a pretty big following. It was only natural that there would be so much information about her on the internet! It wasn't a crime to have access to what everyone else did! Looking into her criminal record using his access from DPD wasn't wrong either. With how much knowledge she had about criminals, it was possible that she herself was a criminal! There was nothing wrong with just making sure she wasn't! It was his job to keep people safe and ask questions when necessary. It didn't help that she was the only female on the show and was often compared to the female victims of murderers! He needed to keep what tabs he could on her and make sure fans didn't get any funny ideas! It wasn't smart for them to put thoughts like that into people's heads.

It wasn't long before his life revolved around the podcast. It wasn't long before he had listened through each and every episode and consumed every piece of media he could find about it. It wasn't long until he felt absolutely empty waiting for a new episode to be released. One episode a week wasn't enough for him. What was supposed to keep him occupied besides the one hour of entertainment he got on Saturdays. What was he supposed to do when they took breaks for holidays and vacations? Relistening to old episodes was the only thing he could do. What was he supposed to feel if Y/N wasn't there to tell him what to feel?

The longer he spent obsessed with the show, the more his emotions became twisted. His sick fascination with serial killers only deepened. It wasn't sick, right? He wasn't the one making a whole show about it! He wasn't the one talking about people who built entire structures and hotels to rape and kill victims! He wasn't the one that made jokes about Y/N being trapped in a basement, all tied up, being forced to have things done to her without her consent. He didn't have those thoughts. He didn't have those feelings of excitement and thrill at the idea of holding her down and having complete control over her. He didn't.

He didn't fantasize about being the one to save her from a murderer or a kidnapper. He didn't.

He didn't think about finding where she lived and going to her house. He didn't

He didn't think about finding out her schedule and 'accidentally' running into her at the coffee shop she loved. He didn't.

He didn't think about the best ways to impress her.

He didn't daydream about her every waking moment.

He didn't think about what it'd feel like to hold her lovingly.

He didn't think about what she'd feel like in his arms. Writhing and screaming.

He didn't.

[speedycoffeedelight]

An Animalistic Disaster

CH-25: Alastor's in a..what?

Masterlist

Summary:

Melody finds out the truth and you all react to episode five as some crazy new things are revealed.

A.n: I'm sorry for the disappearence guys!!! A lot of stuff happened and I hit a writers block 🥲

Tw: mentions of domestic violence.

You felt a chill go through your spine at her voice. You didn't even realise when she came here. Vaggie flew out the window from your head noticing her.

" Oh, I was just talking to myself. Don't worry. Shouldn't you be in the bed? "

You laughed nervously, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible. You hoped she didn't think of you as a madwoman who talks by herself when she's alone. You wouldn't hear the end of it.

" Yeah I was about to..but you were taking too long and I heard talking, so I wanted to check it out."

She walked over and stood beside you, looking away into the wild from the window. " Was that one of your 'friends'?" She whispered chuckling a bit as you bonked her head narrowing your eyes " That guy is a bad influence on you."

A few moments went by in quietness as you both stayed silent. Crickets started to chirp as moonlight shone inside the kitchen, illuminating both of your faces.

" You know.... getting inspiration wasn't the only reason I decided to visit you.." Melody's somber voice suddenly broke through the silence. You stayed quiet, letting her continue.

" I needed a small break from my parents and my brother..."

You looked over at the dainty and frail girl. You looked at how loosely her nightwear hung from her body, almost giving her a ghostly appearance in the moonlight. Your eyes trailed from her tired eyes to her shoulders where there were some bruises...wait bruises?

You slowly lifted up your hand to trace your finger over it as she winced a bit. How didn't you notice it sooner?? " Melody....who did this? " She smiled sadly looking down. "You know who..."

You felt like your heart was being crushed in two. Were they also deliberately not feeding her enough or something? You fisted your palm tightly, feeling angry at them and yourself. Oh how you wished you could beat that shitty excuse of her parents up.

" You have it easy...you don't have your parents nagging after you all the time.. criticizing every little thing you do..you don't have a brother who's out to get you in trouble every living second..." Her voice broke a little. " You don't have parents who would hit you if you did something they didn't like..."

She was fully breaking into small sobs now. You didn't say anything and just pulled her closer to your body. Resting your chin above her head as you let her rant.

" You can live far away from your parents...alone and peacefully... you're free to do whatever you want..while I have to fight every day to pursue my dream... I'm jealous.... I'm jealous of you.."

You kissed top of her head as she sniffled. It almost felt like you two were kids again. And she was hiding from her parents by coming into your room as you comforted her. She's going through a lot as well. In some sense her words were true a little. You truly were living in luxury compared to her.

" You know, I always said you can come live with me.." you whispered softly as she looked up at you crying. "Y-you... know I can't do that...." She whispered in a broken voice. Even though you wanted to deny it, you knew it was the truth. No doubt if she came to live with you now, nasty rumours would be spread by her parents. And it'll be like she gave up on her dream, knowing how stubborn she could be, you knew she wouldn't listen either. But you still offered anyway.

You held her for a little longer as her sobs soon died down between your chest. You soon felt her getting limp between your arms. You had no idea how she was able to fall asleep so quickly. You assumed talking about all these made her tire out.

You picked her up and laid her down on the bed. She weighted like a kid. You looked down at her sadness evident in your eyes. You'll make sure she gains some weight by the time she leaves and make sure she at least has enough fun to forget about her situation. You laid down on the bed looking up at the ceiling.

Everyone has so many problems in their life. You think your life is hard but then you look around a bit and see people suffering more. Like the Hazbins for example....

You sighed, there's no use thinking depressed thoughts at this time of hour. You can't change people's past, but you wish you could at least help make it better for the future. That should be enough.

Your thoughts soon dragged you off to sleep.

You woke up to the smell of something burning in the kitchen as you sat up. " What's going on?!" You yelled as you started to get off from the bed. You quickly noticed Melody was missing.

You spotted her holding a burnt pancake in front of your stove with a sad expression. You sighed in relief seeing at least nothing caught on fire as you slowly walked over to her scratching your neck. "Come on now Mel... what're you doing..." She looked up at you sniffing. "I just wanted to do something for you...I guess I'm only good at sewing and nothing else.." you smiled softly at her and patted her head roughly, messing up her hair.

" Don't worry about that kiddo, go focus on your works instead. That's what you're here for right? I'll handle the breakfast." You practically pushed her to the separate room with her things.

"Hey I'm only a year younger than you!"

You clapped you hand after sending her away. " Now then, let's begin shall we?" You made use of the rest of the batter that was left to cook more pancakes. Melody was laying down on the lounge, scribbling away in her sketchpad to come up with ideas.

After a while you called her as you set the breakfast on the table. You served her with honey on top of the fluffy pancakes and laughed seeing her drool over them. While eating you told her about how you planned to take her out to town. She looked like she might burst from happiness.

You found the car outside just as you instructed. You left one of the windows open so Cherri could come in and let the others in through the door. Currently the whole crew was chilling inside, some resting on the bed or lounge and some finally cooking warm food.

" How long do you think we'll have to stay hidden...this sucks!"

Angel groaned from one of the chairs. " I don't know, get used it" Husk replied as a cat on top of the table. This form took less space to move around. " This girl can sketch beautifully!" Niffty was flipping through Melody's sketchbook. " Is she going to make all these dresses?"

" Um, guysss... shouldn't we make sure to..not touch or move anything?" Pentious rubbed his hands together looking around. " Or they might you know..get suspicious?"

" Quit being such a wuss." Cherri rolled her eyes bringing her head out from the fridge grabbing a box of juice and drinking it straight and dropping it. Before it could touch the ground Niffty came right in to catch it and throw it in the trash.

" Everything's gonna be fineee"

A distinct sound of something falling came from your room. Pentious blinked at Cherri with doubt and worry.

.

.

.

" What happened here?!"

Melody's voice rang out as soon as she stepped inside. You sighed, they had the common sense to lock the door at least.

" The floor is squeaky clean but most of  the foods are gone!" She yelled opening the fridge. Thankfully, you bought foods in this trip too expecting that much. She quickly went around to see if anything was stolen. You slowly started to unpack the groceries without caring much as Melody went around the house. You know nothing was, so you didn't have anything to worry.

" This is strange.... someone came in and just chilled here and ate our food..?" She deduced that from how the things on the bed and lounge seemed to have moved. She had a keen eye for noticing details. " Yeah... about that. " You mentally cursed yourself for the untidness of them. " Maybe it was the animals? Maybe they got in?"

" You're telling me an animal went through our fridge??" She opened the door to your fridge, pointing inside.

You didn't know what to say to that. You pulled her close and ruffled her blond hair. " C'mon, nothing happened right? Don't worry about it. I'll get to cooking okay?" You finger gunned at her while sorting through your cabinets and sweatdropping.

You could feel Melody digging a hole into the back of your head with her intense staring. It was clear she didn't believe your obvious lie but decided not to push it. Instead she went into the room beside yours and you sighed in relief.

"Dodged a bullet there...."

Another day went by like this. You were close to getting caught quite a few times. Like when Niffty came to you asking for more cleaning supplies and while you were about to hand her those, Melody came and saw you two. Melody walked outside to find you handing a scrubber and disinfectants to a small puppy.

Another time she actually caught you with Pentious cause he missed you too much and couldn't stay away, resulting in her screaming in fear. You tried to tell her he wouldn't hurt anyone but Melody wasn't having it. Pentious hung his head low as he slithered away as Melody came to check if you were truly alright.

Night soon fell as you two fell asleep.

Soon the was the day of the next two episodes which was about to be aired. Episode 5 and 6.

" Is there no way we can watch it together? " Charlie looked at you sadly. They were anxiously waiting for a long time for the next episodes to see their future. But it seemed like it might not be possible this time around. Melody was brainstorming in the other room and told you not to disturb. Her vacation was coming to a close and yet she still couldn't come up with an inspiration for a new dress. She almost looked mad scratching her hair with a pencil trying to come up with a design. You gave her hot chocolate earlier as she thanked you in a grim tome before going back to sketching. There were crumbled up papers all over the room as you carefully skipped over them.

" I don't think she is going to go out anytime soon. But she's currently cooped up in her room. Hm..."

You scratched your chin trying to come up with a plan.

" What if you all just watched it in your animal forms. I'll just tell Melody I'm watching a new show with my animal friends. She might be weirded out but she shouldn't suspect anything. I mean she haven't found out yet!"

" Found out what exactly? "

Her voice rang out behind you in a calm tone. Despite that you yelped. Panic and adrenaline rushed through your veins in the fear of being caught. Charlie screamed too holding her face as she turned into her ewe form with a puff of smoke. Vaggie quickly crouched down to pick her up. Alastor eyes just widened with his ears pulled back as her smile tightened locking eyes with Melody as he let out a few coughs.

" I guess the cat's out of the bag huh?"

.

.

.

.

.

All the hazbins sat or stood up around you in the kitchen after being called. Melody took all of them in looking wide eyed. You began telling your tale even though it sounded strange and weird. Melody didn't want to believe you at first, but after seeing Niffty transform again in front of her, she had to believe it.

" So, you guys were supposed to be... characters from this show..." Melody looked at her phone at the Hazbin hotel poster on Google. " And you guys came to life?"

" I'd say we were already alive dear. We just transferred from one reality to other." Alastor said attempting to correct her.

" Riiiight. (Y/n) ! You should have told me about these sooner! Is that why you asked for money back then?"

" Yeah..you can see how many people are there...and I certainly don't earn enough.." You said sheepishly scratching your neck, feeling guilty a bit.

Suddenly Niffty popped out from behind Melody suddenly and pulled her down to be face to face with her while smiling with glee." I saw your designs! They're really pretty but I think they'll look more dazzling if you added something to them. Can I try??"

She was practically buzzing with excitement as Melody handed the puppy girl that she has come to know as Niffty her notebook. " Be gentle with it alright?" Niffty practically grabbed it from her hands and produced a pencil out of nowhere as she startd scribbling down fast as a lighting. " And I'm done!" She yelled holding the book in front of her.

You and Melody peeked at the book behind Niffty back. Melody gasped in surprise as she took the book back looking at it with stars in her eyes. " This...this is it! It's perfect! I'll get to work right now!"

She practically stormed off to the other room holding Niffty's hand and slammed the door shut. She thought she could use her helping the making as well.

" Well...that went better then I expected"

You said crossing your arms. You honestly expected a lot more freaking out over all these.

" Shit we're going to be late! Alastor come on!" Charlie quickly tugged on his arm to get him moving. " I guess we'll can see the show later together then. " Vaggie yelled while following them and closing the door behind her. Now you looked at Angel and the others.

You sighed feeling relieved as you looked at the other people in the room. " I guess make yourself comfortable then. I'll start making today's lunch."

Later in that day, you all settled in front of your laptop again. Melody finished watching the previous episodes earlier so she was all caught up as well. With everything ready, you started episode 5 of the Hazbin hotel.

.

.

.

The episode started with Vaggie waking up on her and Charlie's bed. Then it shows that Charlie was going crazy about the hotel.

' We only have a couple months left before the angels come. Hahaha'

That manic laughter of Charlie was.... disturbing to say the least. The whole damn ground of the hotel shook.

' Maybe it's time.. '

' No. '

' -to ask.. '

' Don't say it. '

' your dad '

Lucifer!! She was going to call Lucifer! You sat up straight in your seat. Ohhhh, you've been waiting for this for so long. Finally you can see what the big boss of hell is like! Charlie didn't seem too excited about that. You didn't notice how Alastor's smile twitched a little at the mention of him. Niffty seemed a lot excited on the other hand.

' He let the extermination happen to begin with. '

So Lucifer's behind all this? Damn, he must be a cold fellow. Maybe a ruthless merciless ruler.

' After he and mom spilt, he never really wanted to see me. He calls... sometimes, but only if he's bored or like, needs me to do something. '

' Daddy issues '

Wait wait what? Lilith and Lucifer spilt up?? They're divorced? And he doesn't even look after her daughter?? Good god..you felt sorry for Charlie. Guess you both have shitty dad's now. Also Husk's mug was something, 'fuck Mondays '. Yeah, honestly, fuck that day.

Then the scene switched to Lucifer's room showing pictures of the Morningstar family. Hold on..was that..you paused to see better.

" Charlie you had an emo phrase???" You said struggling to hold your laughter.

" Heeeey, don't look at it!! It was a long time ago!"

Charlie felt herself flush as she quickly resumed the video as the whole crew laughed. You were also excited as fuck to see her dad. Finally after all this time...

' Now presenting...the magic-tastical backflipping rubber duck! '

Wait what?

The man's room was filled to the brim with rubber ducks. You don't know what you expected but it wasn't this. But you still couldn't stop a small smile from creeping onto your lips. He's going to be an quirky and interesting character for sure.

Lucifer acted like he was being applauded in front of a crowd before throwing a duck on their family portrait. His face saddened for bit looking at the picture as he looked away and Charlie's phone came through. He panicked for a bit.

' Hello, Charlie. H-hey, heyyy, CharChar..No! No, that's not good. '

Poor boy was trying hard to pick what to say. You couldn't help but chuckle a bit as Charlie looked at bit bewildered.

' Oh, this is the first time she's called you in years. This has to be perfect. '

That's it papa. Go for it!

' Heeeey, bitch! '

Lucifer what the fuck was that?? Everyone's eye widened hearing what he just said. He pretended he was busy with important things so he forgot what she was busy with. Kinda reminded you for your dad and how he doesn't really call you much either and when he does, it was with the same awkwardness but more shitty.

' Yeah, of course. Anything in my power is yours for asking. You just name it. '

He keeps her spoilt too. But Charlie's too kind hearted to use such powers you're sure.

' But this is really important to me. '

Aww, you didn't miss the way Angel and Pentious melted when Charlie said how important it was. Poor babies. Angel, Pentious and others also felt their heart leap. Charlie was really a kind hearted soul.

' My daughter wants to see me! Take that depression! '

You burst out laughing at this line. Poor guy is so excited to see her daughter. You were wrong about Lucifer after all. He's a softie and still cares about Charlie and Lilith.

" Man, I think I already love him.." you whispered softly forgetting for a moment that you were watching this with the damn cast with Charlie sitting next to you. You quickly whipped you head around. " I-i meant as a character! As a character I think he's cool!"

" Sure ya do Hun " Angel wriggled his eyebrows at you making you shirnk in embarrassment. " Don't worry, I wanna tap that too" he whispered in your ear making you squeak.

" That's Lucifer? The Lucifer?" Cherri looked at the paused screen crossing her arms. " I thought he'd be more flashy or cooler. This is lame."

" Yeah...I thought he'd be a real bad boy...hmph!" Niffty pouted as well.

Guess there were people who liked this Lucifer and those who didn't. Next everyone began to clean the hotel for Lucifer's arrival. Lucifer literally squeezed Charlie upon arrival as Alastor glared at him. What was his problem?

' You taking care of my little girl? You better be..'

Woah, that was chilling. So you guess he can get scary as well. He looked..kinda unimpressed by the hotel but was trying not to hurt her feelings.

' And you are? '

' Alastor! Pleasure to be meeting you, sir. Quite a pleasure. '

He shook his hand with his cane and shakes his hand of on his suit like there were germs on it. You sideeyed at him and saw how his lips bent upwards in a smirk.

' You are much shorter in real life. '

" Why are you picking a fight with him?? You guys just met?? " You looked at Alastor's with eyebrows raised. " Nothing personal dear, I just don't like the fellow. Do carry on with the show" you didn't believe him for one bit but resumed it.

' Ha ha ha! It was actually my idea."

What's with the hip sway he did here?? Is he trying to be Shakira?

' Ha ha, fuck you. '

You gasped audibllly. " Alastor you swear???" You looked at him agape. You thought him to be well above swearing and to call these types of words vile or unprofessional or something.

" Yes dear. I do swear. Although I'm not particularly fond of it. Why is it such a suprise?"

You didn't have a good answer to that. It was just headcannoned in your head that way. You saw how Alastor was praising Charlie and pulling her closer just to piss Lucifer off. And it was working very well. God if he looked at you that way you would melt.

Unknown to you, he already does when you're not looking.

Charlie then introduced Vaggie to Lucifer.

' Looks like you could use some help

From the big boss of hell himself '

Ahhh, he was singing!! You loved it!! He was trying hard to impress Charlie.

' Who needs a busboy now that you've got the chef '

Was that.. alastor in a busboy outfit?? You loved everybit of it. Poor deer was flipped on a frying pan. You paused just to take a quick look at him.

' Who's been faithful as a nun? '

Nun Alastor awoke something in you. You can't say what but it did. You sneaked a look at him while blushing. You focused on the song again before your thoughts spiraled farther.

' I was stuck, thank you, sir! '

Why was Niffty stuck in a toilet in the first place...

' You're like the child that I wish that I had '

' uh,what? '

" Wait what??" You and Lucifer had the same expression. He sees her as his daughter? He can't be serious. Other people still had the same shocked expression. But judging by how the song is going, you were 99% sure he said that just to piss Lucifer off. The way he was patting Charlie's head was cute though.

' It's a little funny, you could almost call me Dad '

" Alastor, you can't be serious." You finally looked at him. He just chuckled and shrugged. " Isss it true you wish to be a father then?" Pentious asked with a finger on his chin.

" Goodness no. It isn't like that. "

" Then you said it just to piss Lucifer off didn't you? "

His smile only broadened at your question.

" Yeah, yeah you did. Now that that's out of the way-"

" Does that mean you didn't believe in all the things you said about me? Like how you believed in me?" Charlie looked a bit sad. She thought she found someone else who believes in her except Vaggie. Alastor chuckled a bit patting her head. He truly didn't believe in the redemption nonsense. He was just here for the entertainment! But he can't say that in front of all these people, that'd be quite rude of him. And his mom raised a gentleman.

" I'm sure you'll do just fine. Now let's get on with the show."

You liked seeing Lucifer's angelic wings, they were really pretty. The rest of the song went like that but in the end a girl butted in. It was mimzy wasn't it? You saw pictures of her before. She started throwing confetti on the sinners.

' Why is everybody gawking? Is it cuz I'm adorable? '

Yeah she's adorable but why was she here??

' Mimzy! '

The look of pure happiness on his face as he hugged the girl was unreal. You always throught he hated physical touch like that. But you guess he had exceptions. These two were apparently old friends who knew each other on earth. That was interesting.

' Oh, oh my stars '

Same Mimzy. Same. You would have had the same reaction to him. Charlie was beautiful. Lucifer was handsome and cute. Lilith was drop dead gorgeous. You were simping for the whole Morningstar family. Mimzy sat at the bar while Charlie, Alastor and Vaggie went to show Lucifer around.

Angel asked Mimzy about Al and she started to talk about how he came to power. That guy used to broadcast other overlords screams in his radio broadcast. Damn...

' But underneath it all. He's a total sweetie. Put on some jazz and pour a couple fingers of rye, and he becomes a kitten. '

You must have awwed out loud alongside Charlie cause you felt dead glares coming from Alastor's side. Oh he and Mimzy was going to have a talk later if he gets back. Vaggie was finding it hard to hold in a chuckle.

Husk went to talk with Alastor. That guy's face did a whole 180° before his body turned. What was he? An owl?

Husk tried to warn Alastor about how Mimzy didn't come here with good intention but Alastor paid him no mind.

' You may own my soul, but I ain't your fucking pet! '

' Hmhm! But you are! Haha! '

Alastor sees him as a pet...no wonder Husk dislikes the word pet so much.

" Big talk for someone who's also on a leash. "

'Ex-fucking-cuse me??? He's in a what?!?' The way you all collectively gasped except Alastor, husk and Niffty sent echoes throughout the room. Alastor felt his head spinning. Why, why, why??? Why this out of everything? Why did they had to reveal this about him?

Shadows danced in the walls behind him as he slowly turned towards Husk. This was all this damn cats fault. Because this stupid shitty cat doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut. He doesn't need any disobedient pets!

He didn't even notice when he reached out to Husk while extending his arm . He had to teach him a lesson. He had to. He didn't have to look around at others know what you all might have been thinking of him. The mighty radio demon on a leash? He'd be a laughingstock to all of them now.

You all leapt around in action quickly and started to pull him back as Husk backed away. Charlie stood in front of Husk in a protective manner as you, Pentious and Angel were trying to hold him off.

" Alastor, please wait!" You shouted out behind him. This whole thing was a disaster. The fact that someone like him was under a contract was baffling. Who even was it? When did that happen? Does it have anything to do with the time he was absent? There were a lot of questions and a lot less answers.

Both Alastor ears and tail was perked up as he snarled at Husk. After what felt like an eternity he finally stopped trying to break free. You released your grasp on him as he sank to his knees. His eyes wide blown wide open as he ran his fingers through his hair. His ears were tilted back as you saw him take a deep breath in.

Angel stood beside Husk protectively as Vaggie stood beside Charlie. You made sure Melody was well protected behind you as Alastor slowly stood up with his head down. Pentious was hiding behind Cherri as Niffty just started at him with big blinking eyes.

" Ah..I suppose I lost a bit of control there. My apologies. "

Alastor's slinky smooth voice ran throughout the room. He was again smiling just like before like nothing just happened.

" Listen here Pedazo de mierda sonriente( smiling piece of shit), I don't give a rat's ass about your soul is binded or not. But if you hurt any of our guests here, I'm going to make sure you regret ever being born. Don't forget you're just a human here!" Vaggie glared at him while producing a knife out of no where. You half wondered if she just kept it with herself always.

"  Not a another word about my soul if you value your life. " Alastor's sharp voice rang out looking down at her. He didn't want to be reminded of it every second. " I may be a human now, but I'm still powerful enough to overpower you easily."

Charlie quickly stepped in between things could go any farther and convinced Vaggie to put down the knife away before anyone got hurt. The situation became rather tense quickly. Alastor hated it. Alastor hated the looks they were giving him. It was like he could almost taste the thoughts. With shaky hands you resumed the episode.

Alastor linked a green chain around husk throat and threw him on the ground.

' If you ever say that again, I will tear your soul apart and broadcast your screams for every other disrespectful wrech who dares to question me '

'Understood.'

' Lovely '

God this scene hurt to watch. Husk around you pulled his ears back grumbling as his tail came to wrap around himself. Charlie looked at scene horrified. Almost all of the people here including you forgot Alastor was an overlord. He is actually a cruel piece of shit. He's not just an old timey funny jokestar. He's a bad person and he enjoys torturing others.

Your heart almost broke seeing Husker shiver on the ground. Although another part of you was a little turned on when he was wrapping the chain around his hand. You already really well people on the internet was going to lose their mind over this.

It cut to Charlie talking with Lucifer now over a balcony.

' These are our people Dad, I...I have to try. '

' Our 'people', Charlie, are awful! They got gifted free will and look what they did with it! Everything's terrible! '

Lucifer really doesn't like the sinners huh. You mean..you couldn't blame him. You wouldn't have put much high thoughts about them either.

Suddenly some sinners who were after Mimzy started attacking the hotel. Lucifer was teasing Charlie about how it was all pointless and in the end they'll always just disappoint and let her down. ' Lucifer...I get it but couldn't you be a bit nicer for your daughter..' you thought with a tight lipped expression.

" A reminder to all, not to mess with the Radio demon. "

Alastor sprouted his tentacles now tearing into those sinners. He turned huge now stomping and making a mess of those unfortunate souls. Lucifer pointed at Alastor to tell her how bad sinners could be but Charlie refuted that.

Alastor just chomped on a sinners body and looked at Charlie.

' It may be a bit more sadistic than I'd hoped. But he's doing it for me! How come he can have faith in me, but my own father can't? '

' Ooh, drama. '

Ouch, that one hurt. That one hit too close to home for you. You vaguely remembered a memory close to it. And not Angel and Husk just having fun of this.

' Heheheh, sorry about the mess, but I'm sure the lil' bug will take care of it for ya. '

What do you mean you're sorry woman? You brought those sinners to the hotel and endangered everyone there. You were starting to get pissed off at the girl. She didn't even sound a least bit guilty.

' I think you should go Mimzy. Now. '

Thank you Alastor. At least he didn't stand up for this bullshit.

' Have fun with ya lil' princess and ya lil' hotel. See if I care.'

Did she think Alastor was interested in Charlie and that's why he was defending the hotel? Who knows. But you were glad to see her gone. Then the scene switched to Lucifer and Charlie talking. Charlie was trying to convince Lucifer but he saw no point in it. He looked almost broken while talking about heaven.

' You didn't know that when

I tried this all before '

Right, he is the first fallen angel. He's been through betrayal before because his dreams were too big.

' Now you're the only thing worth fighting for

More than anything

More than anything

I'll shelter and adore you more than anything '

Your heart squeezed within you. With tears threatening to burst out. God, Lucifer just wanted best for his daughter. He's just protective of her. Every line was shooting an arrow through your chest.

The scene switched to tiny Charlie. You and others awwed at this. Tiny Charlie was adorable. Vaggie wanted to pick her up.

' More than anything

More than anything

I need to save my people more than anything '

Everyone and including Alastor was looking at Charlie softly as she sang. Pentious had the same expression as the show beside you with teary eyes. He loved this wholesome scene so much.

' Looks like the apple doesn't fall far'

' Took you a while '

' I've missed that smile '

You were fully crying now. Did anyone mention how you were crying now? God you were so happy for her. But your heart also panged inside a bit. You also wanted to hear these things badly from your dad....you wished your dad was like him...you sniffed a bit at the bittersweet feeling that ran across your heart.

' Cause in the end

You're part of who I am'

'I'll support your dream

Whatever lies in store'

' And who could ask for more? '

You were torn between seeing Lucifer as a dad and a daddy figure. His wings were so beautiful too. Both you and Charlie were fully crying by the time the song ended as you were both hugging each other.

" I miss my father..." Charlie sniffed burying her face in your hair.

' Aww, that was sweet '

Just like Pentious in the show said, it was indeed sweet. Real Pentious was nodding too.

Lucifer said that he'll get Charlie a meeting in heaven and disappeared in magic.

' You ready? '

' I'm ready.  'cause you'll be with me. '

' In spirit, right? '

' In heaven. '

' Yay..!'

And with that the episode ended. Vaggie did not look excited to go there. She looked like she dreaded.

Vaggie gulped on her spot next to you. It was her turn now huh. They revealed secret stuff about Angel, Husk and even Alastor. Is the thing for her was going to be how she...was an Angel? They won't right...fuck but how the show was progressing, that seemed to be the only way it's headed. What would Charlie think. What would others think? Would they really be so forgiving in her case?

Thousands of worried thoughts were running through her head. But she hardly had any time to think as the small break between the episodes were over and everyone sat down for the next episode.

A.n :

Also finally we got the introduction for Lucifer!! Alright, question time , do y'all want Lucifer as a love interest or side character?

Don't worry, and no, just because Charlie is here to doesn't mean there's going to be any sort of incest involved. None of that shit.

And what do you guys think Lucifer is going to be if he's a love interest. Guess in the comments. Here's a hint, he and Vaggie will have something in common ~

Tag list: @legostars @glowinthedarkbones1150 @darifes @aria-tempest @rainbowcake1212 @luxylucylou

[intheshadowsbehindyou]

Hello! I love your writing style!! It's just so on spot, and I wanted to request some headcanons for the mercs with a gn! reader who doesn't really speak but they can communicate through sign language or paper for whatever reason, the thing is, the Merc and the reader find themselves in a really critical situation or just an incredibly intimate and comforting moment, blurting out for the first time something serious or stupid like "y'know when I first met you I thought you're really stupid...(affectionate)" IDK OF THIS MAKES SENSE OR IT'S WEIRD SORRY LMAOOA

(if you don't wanna do all of them you could do your faves & I hope there's a chance to add miss Pauling if possible😔) but anyway, too much to read,, sorry again!! Take care♡♡

Y/N with communication anxiety admits their feelings to the Mercs

Scout:

- He’s very chill and nonchalant about it. Although have fun hearing him talk his mouth off all the time and rant about random things. He takes a liking to you pretty quickly when you join his team and leans on the wall next to you tossing his ball from hand to hand and blowing bubbles with his bubblegum. “Heeey there slugger. What‘s your name? You look like a total nightmare today.” He says. When you don’t answer him and nervously gesture to your throat that you’d prefer staying quiet he pauses for a moment. “Not a talker, eh?”

- Literally will not shut the fuck up. Will talk to you for hours on end. Venting or just saying plain stupid shit to impress you. You find his personality rather charming and in exchange he seems to appreciate your content silence and preference to listen to him. Something that the other Mercs don’t really do.

- “Y’know, Y/N. I know this sounds fuckin’ weird but like— Thank you I guess? For listening to my nonstop ramblin. I mean.. Not many people stop to consider what I have to say.” He says this to you while you sit in Tuefort’s gazebo with him on a cold desert morning. “They just think i’m annoying I guess..”

- “Annoying yet charming and handsome nonetheless, Scout.” You finally work up the courage to mutter to him. Your voice is rasp and you smile.

- Scout pauses, then looks at you in complete disbelief. Did Y/N just speak? Atop of that it seemed to have been a flirtatious compliment. He takes a moment to process the situation and then sort of chortles. He runs his hand through his own hair and acts chill about it but on the inside he’s absolutely mad with feelings. “Wow.. That’s.. Yeah, OK.” he says, failing to find words. Face flushed with heat.

——————————————————————

Soldier:

- He was the first person to approach you in the base. Like ever. When he found out there was a new mercenary he needed to lay the ground rules to them as soon as possible. Instead of giving him a “Yes sir!” like he had hoped, you stared at him blankly. (I’d probably be rethinking this job offer.) Wondering why you hadn’t spoken up to him, he got close to your face and looked up and down you. “I’D LIKE TO HEAR A YES SIR PRIVATE!” Still nothing. You were too busy admiring his muscles. You’ve just met this man but you’d let him throw you off a bridge in an instant.

- When he still doesn’t get a response, he backs up and angrily fixes his helmet “Insubordination I see.. Heh. Okay.” He mutters and prepares to plan a punishment later. You are oddly charmed by his stupid greeting and you head to the nearest chalkboard and explain in writing why you can’t respond back. He lifts his helmet up to read it and then looks back at you. (The other Mercs are kind of stunned that Soldier even knows how to read in the first place.)

- “Ah, I see.. Strange tactical decision but not unheard of.” He responds, then straightens his posture apologetically. You two become close friends from then on. Medic has to explain to him later that you just have “mild” communication issues. For the first few months of your guys’ friendship the dumbass thought you were doing this to gain an upper hand.

- After a match one day you catch him smoking a cigar on a huge pile of bodies in the pouring rain. You step up the horrific mess of blood and guts to meet him. He doesn’t look too happy. Although Soldier never really opens up about anything to anyone. He’s way too deep in his little military fantasy. You sit next to him and put a hand on his shoulder reassuringly. Whatever the hell he was upset about you knew it wasn’t good. After a bout of silence you whisper “You’re a wonderful strategist, Soldier.”

- You can’t see his expression underneath his helmet but you can certainly hear his heartbeat quicken because of how close you are. His mouth nearly twitches up into a grin. He doesn’t respond to your compliment but he’s relieved to hear one nonetheless after all this time.

————————————————————————-

Demoman:

- You find him making bombs in his quarters when you meet him for the first time. He doesn’t look too friendly but as you decide to walk by he immediately calls out to you. “Ayeee! New blood. Get ova’ here a second. Wee lil monster.” He beckons his hand aggressively.

- You walk over to him and he puts an arm around your shoulder. Patting you reassuringly. “Aye.. So It’s not gonna be easy livin’ here just so you know. We’re all a wee bit mad. Don’t take the others’ too seriously when dey bother ye.” He takes the responsibility upon himself to let you know as an older Merc it’ll be okay. He slaps you friendlily on the back after his conversation and sends you off. He doesn’t really question the fact you aren’t speaking.

- You immediately take a liking to him though. Mainly due to his explosive personality on the battlefield (pun intended.) He gets horribly drunk before doing any Mercenary work and acts goofy the entire time. His charisma pulls you in like a magnet. You want to speak to him but it’s so hard…

- After months of simping for this guy from afar, you slip a note under his doorframe professing your feelings to him. You hear him pick it up. The next thing you know, he barges into your quarters the next day after a match and grabs you by the shoulders. Asking you in complete disbelief if you actually meant everything you said.

- “Yes, I just think you’re really attractive!” you blurt out instinctively. Alarmed by his behavior. He lets you go; having heard your voice for the first time. The shock of the revelation and the sound of your voice, atop of the alcohol seemed to have done it for him. He immediately kissed you on the lips without warning. You’re the first person in years to say this to him.

- “I… Er.. “ He walks away after that. You have no fucking idea what the hell even happened.

——————————————————————-

Engineer:

- You hear the sweet melody of a guitar echoing off the intel room. Despite its clearly southern origins you are drawn to it. As if it was some sort of hypnosis. You’d recognize that melody anywhere. The year was 1967 and you were no stranger to your own childhood. That was clearly “El Paso.” You’ve heard that song on the radio a million times already. But somehow this was different. The soothing voice it came from was singing it as if it were his own lullaby to the multiple sentries around him. The ones of his own creation of course.

- Next thing you know, you’re sitting next to him on the intel desk, sleepy as all shit from the melody and the white noise from the patrolling sentries. You wake up an hour later to embarrassingly finding yourself on this stranger’s lap. You want to profusely apologize to your colleague but nothing comes out.

- He doesn’t even seem phased. For some reason he was stroking your hair as he gazed off into the distance.

- Ever since that day you became close to Engineer. He was completely unbothered by your communication issues and actually kind of appreciates the silent times he has with you. He rarely speaks to you while hanging out either, out of respect for your boundaries. Only the occasional conversation here and there. You are both existing together.

- “I love you, Dell.” You finally say, after a night of drinking in his workshop with him. You are perched up on his lap as always and he’s petting you. At first he misunderstands this as platonic. “Aww..” He cooes. “No, I mean it. I’ve always found you so —“ You bury your face into his chest. Muffling the last part of your sentence “Safe to be around.”

- He’s unbelievably boiling with hormones on the inside. He tips his hardhat forward to hide his flustered face. Holding his own chin. “Dammit..” He mutters in an incredibly positive way. You’ve successfully won this man over.

—————————————————————-

Heavy:

- He’s already met you before the job. Accidentally caught you in a coffee shop in Tuefort being yelled at by an ableist Karen and he took it upon himself to nearly strangle her for you. Heavy doesn’t tolerate behavior like that. You need to insult people with style or nothing at all. Don’t pick on their disabilities. Aim for the most stereotypical high school bully route possible. Come on, you gotta be an asshole skillfully.

- He could tell you were different the moment you joined the team. But that’s fine. He was quite misunderstood too. Heavy wasn’t a dumb himbo. He was a GIANT man with a lust for blood. Although he enjoyed chaos as much as any Merc, Heavy also valued silence. Something that you provided him with your presence. You catch him deliberately body shielding you on the battlefield because he knows this communication issue didn’t come out of nowhere. You’re distressed. This was his subtle attempt to let you know he cared.

- He catches you unable to sleep one night. He opens your door and notes the fact your light was still visible through the cracks. You’re sitting on the bed in an uncomfortable fetal position.

- “Little thing will not sleep?” He asks you. Although he has his typical hardened expression the question suggested he cared. “Hm. Stay here. Heavy will grab bedtime story.”

- He reads you an old Russian classic. Although depending on who you are you might not understand it. Regardless the soft sounds are alluring sleep. It’s clear he’s read people stories many times before because his whispers hit all the right places.

- You mumble to him a thank you. Which makes him pause mid sentence. He doesn’t know how the ever living fuck to process what he’s feeling right now. It’s a mixture of affection and the pang of what is typically the start of romantic attraction. Ew gross he’s feeling soft and fuzzy emotions.

- You pull him under the covers with you eagerly. He grumpily obeys but he doesn’t know why. He nearly destroys your bed with his weight and has to put you on his chest to cuddle. You can hear the sound of the ubercharged baboon heart inside him. Still pumping away and working to keep him going. You slip into slumber easily.

————————————————————————

Pyro:

- Talking is overrated anyway. Nobody really understands Pyro when they speak under the mask. Trying to say something simple like “There’s a spy behind you.” is often met with a confused expression. When Pyro meets you, it’s when he’s allured by your skills on the battlefield. In their point of view you are a glorious unicorn prancing around a field of pollen. (More like debris from the enemy soldiers’ rockets but that’s besides the point.)

- There are rare moments where Pyro is completely lucid and self aware of the fact they’re a mercenary for hire though. They compliment you on your abilities after a match and it takes you a while to understand but you nod.

- They won’t. stop. complimenting. you. You are dragged to his tea parties and childish shenanigans and you find over time it’s surprisingly pleasant to escape from the bloodshed once and a while. Cuddling sessions ensue as time goes on.

- You catch their face without their suit while they’re getting changed. That is vulnerability that Pyro wasn’t ready for yet. They break down sobbing and self depreciating and you feel heartbroken. Who the hell taught them to hate themselves so fucking much? You’re having a bit of empathy overload right now as they squeal and choke up. Finding no other alternative but to speak blissful things about their appearance and personality. Hearing you speak for the first time makes them cry more. (In an incredibly positive way luckily.)

———————————————————————

Sniper:

- Oh shit. Another person whose super quiet for some reason?! Except your situation is different. You’d like to socialize but it’s difficult. Sniper doesn’t want to socialize and he hates basically everybody. But he has that “grumpy older brother who teases you” energy. He’s well aware you’re younger than the other Mercs and therefore a tad easier on you.

- He’s scoping out a crack in the window when he feels your presence behind him. His shoulders stiffen and that’s how you know he senses you. “Blimey. You’d make a terrible Spy.” he mutters. Bringing his gun away from the hole to put it down and face you. His hypersensitivity to noise is no doubt from being stabbed a million times.

- You wonder how he’s able to tell it’s even you in the first place. He’s possibly grown accustomed to how each Mercenary sounds when they approach his nest. You can smell the scent of strong cologne mixed in with bond fire lingering off him. Couple that with the fact that he’s so unbelievably hot? You came to bring him some morning coffee but you end up setting it down to spontaneously hug him.

- “Wh— fuck.” He growls. Both caught off guard and swaying a bit. Trying to adjust to extra weight. He hesitantly hugs you back. Wondering if you were sick or something and needed soothing. He doesn’t understand why anybody would want this from him. It takes him a minute to put his arms around you and pat you.

- “What’s wrong mate?” he says, in your ear. This man might be giving you a voice kink if you don’t already have one. Holy shit. You don’t want to be humiliated by your own voice in front of him and your lips quiver. Incapable of finding the words you’re thinking of. “You’re cute.” you finally say. In a last ditch effort when no other words came to mind. To say you desperately wanted this man was an understatement.

- You hear him take a sharp breath in. He stifles a groan from the amount of energy you just shot into his godamn stomach. Not only was it a pleasure to hear your voice for the first time but it felt intimate. He was very sensitive to things like this. You swore you could hear this man purring in your ear like a cat. He was evidentially as touch starved as you were.

—���———————————————————

Medic:

- No speaking?! Oh! this man has to study you like right fucking now. What a curiosity. He’s never met somebody who had issues speaking like this before. He hates to admit —and won’t admit for that matter — that he might be doing this out of emotion as well. Believe it or not Medic can be an incredibly emotion driven person. Not just for the pleasures of harming people but the unwanted sympathy that comes with being human. He hates the idea he might care for you. Why does he even feel that way? It’s not like you’re different from any other Merc..

- Except you are. You’re you. That’s the problem. You’re lovable in every way and no amount of rumination will ever explain why.

- His first instinct upon discovering this about you is to ask you questions about how bad it is. Obviously quickly realizing how stupid that is — he hands you his clipboard and a fresh piece of paper to communicate. “Do you speak if at all?” “Do you experience this in the presence of certain stressors?” “Did you have traumatic experiences that led to this?” “Is this perhaps a case of selective mutism?”

- You scramble to write down incredibly passive aggressive and sarcastic answers but they are answers nonetheless. He seems pleased with the results. Under normal circumstances you’d hate being treated like a guinea pig but his excited smile was charming. The fact that somebody wanted to understand your situation so badly was a bit riveting. He was hungry for information about the human existence. “Danke!”

- You catch something you’d never suspect in a mad scientist such as himself. While he’s drawing mathematical equations on his chalkboard one night he periodically looks over his shoulder to frown at you while he thinks you’re not paying attention.

- He’s doing a terrible job at hiding his human nature. There was a bout of emotion in his eyes about your health. As much as the doctor tried to remove this from his work, it kept rearing its ugly head in certain situations. “I love you, Doctor.” You tell him.

- SNAP. His fingers break the chalk in half. Just like his crumbling facade. You could see his eye twitch as he accesses ten thousand possible answers he could give you in his mind. “Aheh, could you give me a moment, bitte?” He tells you. Waltzing into the other room. You could hear muffled screaming coming from his bedroom. He regrets taking this job and wished he died in police custody.

———————————————————————-

Spy:

- YES! FINALLY SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T MAKE HIM WANT TO PULL HIS HAIR OUT AND BACKFLIP OFF A CLIFF

- Spy elegantly invites you to his quarters one night after weeks of avoiding you the first time you come here. He pours you some wine and hands you a glass. (adjusting your hand in the process because you’re holding the glass wrong.)

- “Do you know why I brought you here?” He asks. Pacing around the room and lighting himself a cigarette from his disguise kit. In all honesty you have no idea why but the sight of such a handsome older man doing this for you was distracting. “It is your performance as of late. You are throughly calculated I must say.” You couldn’t agree with this, but you wondered if he had some sort of thing for competent people. (Your assumptions are correct.)

- …. “Not to mention quieter than me when I scope out prey.” He mentions. Waving the cigarette between two fingers. He was a Spy and you had no doubt he was trying to read you like a book but having difficulties. He was especially accustomed to having small talk with the other Mercs to better fake their counterparts when disguised as them. You couldn’t help but feel a little flattered over the fact that not even a Spy could properly look through you.

- He looked at you rather frustratingly once he realizes you’re still not speaking. “Not even the slightest bit of speaking. Do you realize how much harder you make my job?” He complains sarcastically. You can’t help but crack a humored grin at this. He isn’t being ableist in this situation, rather he’s angry he can’t psychoanalyze somebody. You knew it was within’ a Spy’s nature to instinctively do this.

- He responded positively to your grin. Moving away and dragging his cigarette. Trying to hide a bit of his own amusement. “Yes, yes. You find my suffering to be equivalent to the entire circus.” He says. “But in in all honesty your silence is preferred.” Spy moves in and lifts your chin up with his pointer finger.

- “Tu es agréable à côtoyer..” He hisses. His voice sounding like a hungry cat as he draws closer to you. Spy has a very distinct look in his eye. One that basically screams thoughtful and mysterious. You nearly passed out at the unintentionally romantic gesture.

- “Please throw me off a fucking building.” You say.

- “What?”

[tfp-enthusiast]

[Exactly what i need right now, i love writing things like this.]

[Made it GN if that bothers you then let me know.]

[Thanks for reading this and have a good day/night!]

[Can be seen as platonic or romantic]

[I left Airachnid out because technically she isn't a con. and the max count of images was reached]

Cons X Reader who has an unexpected music taste

[this took longer than I expected, sorry for that, but i hope you like it!]

[Have a good day/night and stay healthy!]

××××××××××××××××××××××

Megatron

The last cycles where stressful for everyone, the Autobots blew once again an energon mine up, but finally you had a breem or two for yourself.

So you just flew around, just a few miles away from the nemesis just in case, and heard your music so you could enjoy the moment.

What you didn't know was that Megatron decided to check in on you. He worried about you, just not openly in front of others, and thought that you two could have a nice chat while flying.

Even while you where traveling at a high speed he could hear your rather interesting music playing, more like blasting, in your vehicle mode. Just a reminder that he still was, quite a big, airplane so he of course maintained a safe distance and he could still hear every word. Every Word.

It took quite some time before you noticed the warlord and when you did you paused the music and asked in your normal, polite, tone how he is and some other smalltalk stuff.

You both talked normal but just before you got back onto the Nemesis he let's you know what he heard and thinks.

"(Y/n), you have quite an interesting music taste if i can say that."

You knew if you could see his face then he would be smirking and raise an optical ringe.

"You listen to the music relatively loud, it was quite shocking to hear such music from you considering the way you normally act."

You wanted to say something, you where close to saying an excuse, but before you could you heard an laugh that had an playful, and teasing, undertone in it.

"I won't do anything about this but do me a favor and don't play that kind of music near me."

××××××××××××××××××××××

Starscream

You where on the way to an mission because they requested backup/help and where near it.

You where alone and just turned put on some music like you always did when you're all by yourself.

What you didn't see was Starscream approaching from your left. It normally didn't really interest you but you had the music turned up to the max and he could almost feel the bass/vibrations through the air.

You didn't see him or heard him so he just tapped your wing with his (maybe a little too rough but he didn't mean it)

"(Y/n)! Do you listen to me? What is this 'music' your listing to?? I didn't expect such music from you-"

He got interrupted in his, friendly/teasingly, rant by an message over the com saying that the problem was solved and you could go back to the Nemesis.

The flight back was a little awkward for you. But after Starscream stopped talking you asked him if he couldn't make such a big thing out of it.

Of course he would never do anything when you are uncomfortable but you will be teased when the two of you are alone.

××××××××××××××××××××××

Soundwave

You where on your way back to the Nemesis after another battle with the Autobots. You listened to your music like always on flights but this time you where just pissed off.

You turned the music up to max volume so you could calm down easier. You often did that when you where mad or overwhelmed about something and it didn't bother anyone right now.

Soundwave flew next to you, you often just listened to music on flights, and it didn't bother him because he didn't talk anyway.

But it did worry him about you being okay, he knew about this habit and learned that this meant that you weren't happy, and he sent you a small message.

[Do you want too talk about it?]

You explaind him that you where okay, just a little mad at yourself because you couldn't win that fight and of course because the Autobots hurt both you and Soundwave a little.

The flight was quiet from both sides until you got back. As soon as you landed you got a message from Soundwave.

[I think you did great you did your best. <3]

××××××××××××××××××××××

Shockwave

You where on the search for predacon bones across the world and you where currently on your way through an old desert.

Shockwave was right next to you, he always came with you when you left his laboratory, and he was quite like always. He never talked much, especially on missions, unless necessary.

So you decided to listen to an playlist you made yourself for long drives and turned the music just a little louder.

Half an hour later you where almost at the location and you turned the music off. Just in time to hear Shockwave talk about the bone.

He heard the music, he was about to tell you to stop it but decided against it. It didn't bother him, at least not much, and he knew you weren't as patient as him and if this helped you with being patient on these drives then he won't interrupt you unless he deems it necessary.

××××××××××××××××××××××

Breakdown

You where driving through Nevada looking for any sings of Autobots or their human friends, you actually treated them good, and listened to a Playlist you found in the human internet which you turned to like.

What you didn't know was that almost every human could hear you, good thing you where driving on some less populated roads, and Breakdown was around.

He was surprised at this music, he won't judge you for it but it was quite a shock, considering how shy you where and quiet when talking with others.

He drove next to you and when you noticed you turned the music off so you could talk to him. He tried to hint the whole conversation at the fact that he heard your music but you didn't seem to get it.

Just before Breakdown drove away he said something that made you a embarrassed mess.

"I would say see ya, but i think I'll hear ya first-"

Yeah, he will definitely be teasing you. Not openly for others but you will get it.

××××××××××××××××××××××

Knockout

You where waiting for Knockout to finish one of his race's again because you both wanted to go to a drive in theater after that.

It took a little too long for you so you decided to just listen to some music, there was no one around to hear it anyway and you would spot Knockout soon enough to turn it off.

Or that's what you thought. Knockout came from behind you, cause he knew you where a little jumpy, and went the long way just for a little teasing material.

"Aww~ You thinking of someone while hearing that?"

Cue you having a sparkattack and then being a blushing embarrassed mess. He now got brand new teasing material and he won't let you have a break from it.

Btw. he would ask you for the Playlist because he lowkey liked it too.

××××××××××××××××××××××

Skyquake & Dreadwing

You where on your way back to the Nemesis after, yet another, lost battle against the Autobots. You where glad you at least found an energon mine while on the way back.

You decided to listen to some music that you found on earth. Normally you wouldn't listen to music while on a mission/on the way back because it could be unsafe if you don't hear an enemy approaching but you decided to just make an exception this time.

After some time Dreadwing and Skyquake joined you because they where also on their way back from a mission and thought you looked lonely.

They could hear the music and almost every word even though you played the music inside your vehicle mode.

They where shocked but mostly didn't want to interrupt you because you seemed happy while hearing your, rather scandalous, music.

They both decided to just not talk about it too much. But Dreadwing still wanted to tell you it was unsafe because you didn't see/hear them approach you.

××××××××××××××××××××××

Predaking

Predaking knew you liked earth music after you both talked about earth and it's inhabitants but after doing some research he learned there was a lot of different music.

He didn't think it would be too important considering it's just music but he still was a bit curious about what you like.

He found out when he walked by your private room in the living quarters and searched for you because the both of you had finally some time to talk.

He heard your music through the metal confines of your room and was surprised to hear such music from you considering the way you normally act.

But he still came in after knocking so he could talk to you and tell you that even though it doesn't bother him you should turn it down because others could bring you in trouble, Starscream and Knockout most likely, and he didn't want that to happen.

[seawater-aurelia-writing]

Broken { The Break; Chapter 2}

Pairing(s): Fem!MC/Yuu/Reader x TBD

Summary: MC awakens after her fall but the reactions of others make her spiral worse - but not all is as it seems.

WARNINGS

I am not the best at labeling warnings or triggers but I can say that this story is laden with neglect, self-depreciation, self-neglect, anxiety, possible depression and attempts to justify the above. There could be more labels that I can add but i’m unsure how to word them - so please exercise caution.

I liiiiiiiiiiiive! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ I restarted this SO many times and yet I could never get it to feel...'right'...So I hope this lives up to yall's expectations! Sorry for the bad summary lol

One last disclaimer though! I have not seen the entirety of Chapter 6 and I have avoided pretty much all content for Chapter 7 as far as i'm aware. So I may not have everyone exactly in character in new things were revealed for them.

When M/C awoke, she half expected to be in the infirmary as she was when she was knocked unconscious during the Magift Tournament. But the other half of her? 

She didn’t expect much. Be it the stillness of the void around her, or the library floor if Professor Trein left her where she fell – there wouldn’t be much difference. It's what usually happened anyway; She could handle her injuries herself if that was the case. However, she supposed there was some form of upside to being in the infirmary. 

If she was left in the void, how else would she know firsthand how she burdened and upset those around her.

‘It’s so late…’ She thought to herself, gazing out of the window across from her bed. She could barely make out the faintest shape of the moon – a crescent. Even the moon was smiling at just how pathetic she had to look at this moment.

“-C. M/C!” 

Why was it so hard for her to hear? Even as she turned her head slowly, moving her eyes to gaze up at the headmaster beside her, it was as if someone had placed her in a tub of mud. She moved so slowly, without much feeling other than a sharp pain as she tried to rest the side of her head down onto the pillow.

“…Hng..”

“Thank goodness, you’ve finally awoken! It’s been two days already! What on earth did you drink to cause you to create such an awful mess of the library?! You know very well that you cannot ...poultices as other students do because of ... Furthermore, I believe I ...use it for research not as ...a playground!” He ranted but his voice faded in and out as he spoke. But why? Why can't I hear him?

Only an idiot would zone out at a time like this.

Crowley sighed, clearly exasperated when she didn’t attempt to speak.

‘He hates that he let you stay here. Who can't do simple chores?He wishes he never helped you.’

“Once you are ...leave, you are to clean up ...the library. Luckily, ...the matter with you ...I can see.” He continued after a moment, his arms folding over his chest as he gazed down at her. Slowly, it became easier to focus but the ringing in her ears never  "Actually...Our nurse is ...but I see no reason ...release you myself."

“…Y-yes…sir.” She rasped, voice dry and hoarse from lack of use.How long had she been unconscious? But again, did it truly matter? But what did that matter? Clearly, the pain in her head wasn’t real and not a sign of something worse. Why should she expect something else?

'He wants you gone.'

'You're taking up space.'

'Stop being selfish.'

'Because you think you're worth more than you are.'

Ace, Deuce and Grim came to visit her that day at lunch just before her release but the visit felt hollow. They laughed and teased her for her clumsiness, even Deuce smiling a bit at the dramatics of Grim, but none seemed to notice the forced smile that M/C put on her face. None noticed how her eyes twitched at the sharp, spike of pain that formed when they grew louder. 

‘They’re only here because they’re forced to be. Stop thinking about yourself.’

'Just smile. Don't make a scene.'

When M/C had been released earlier that day, she was urged straight to attend the final class of that day rather than go straight to Ramshackle. 

‘Please let this go by fast…’ She thought to herself, letting Rook lead the way to their class as the pain in her head continued to grow. M/C closed her eyes for a moment, missing the way Rook glanced back at her and shifted his body to walk closer to her. 'Please...'

Yet it did not. 

MC felt as if she was on autopilot as she sat in class, sluggishly marking notes where needed and nodding along with the lecture but nothing seemed to sink in, no matter how many times she willed herself to focus in. Rook would boisterously comment on things, his voice jolting her to the present long enough for her to gaze at him and then the teacher before her focus waned once more.

‘You’re so needy.’ Why couldn’t she just move past her little incident? Everyone else already had moved past it, so it clearly wasn’t very important. She had no right to wish that others worry about her. They had bigger things to worry about, more important things to focus on.

Right?

‘Why can’t you handle this on your own?” Why couldn’t she? It was only one day just like the others! It wasn’t even hard! Ruggie had gone without meals more than she had! So obviously, she was just exaggerating. Vil had more things to worry about than she did including an actual career! What right did she have to complain about doing a few favors?

‘You’re pathetic.’

‘A waste of space.’

‘What good is someone who screws up a simple thing?’

‘No one cares.’

‘You’re replaceable.’

‘Forgettable.’

As class ended, MC prepared for her cycle to begin once more and so it did. Rather than go to  dinner, Kalim latched onto MC the moment she was out of the classroom. The pain in her head returned full force with his boisterous volume right beside her ear but she still smiled. 

He offered to help the next time she went to the library since he knew ladders were tricky. 

‘They aren’t tricky. He’s pitying you’

“Kalim, leave her alone. She needs to rest.” Jamil finally said after a few minutes, his eyes not leaving her  as he spoke. He almost seemed to study her before adding, “She isn’t looking well.”

‘Pathetic.’

“Huh,? Oh right! I’m sorry! Go, go rest up! We can plan a group dinner later!” Kalim practically beamed before ushering her away from the cafeteria despite Grim’s many protests and her own stumbling feet.

“B-But -” 

 But they were already on Main Street by the time MC attempted to speak. Why was she always so hesitant when it came to these things? She barely uttered a word in the entire conversation and despite Jamil’s eyes on her, it was as if she wasn’t really a part of the conversation. Just a figure meant to listen but not contribute. 

Always there but never meant to fully be there.

MC didn’t register her body moving as she went towards the direction of Ramshackle, her form practically shrinking in on itself as they went. Grimm was rambling on and on as he floated beside her, while she let her body guide her on a path she had now memorized. 

“…Just…pathetic…” She mumbled, one hand coming up to grasp at the other elbow. That’s what she was, wasn’t she? She didn’t stand out other than being magicless but even then people seemed to forget. No one cared that she couldn’t magically make a situation better, but they expected her to do it anyway. Just like no one seemed to care about her wellbeing but they expected her to always be okay. Thoughts of Riddle, Leona, Azul, Kalim, and Vil drifted into her mind - how each of them experienced their own breaks during the Overblots, how they opened up about what hurt them, how everyone listened and tried to help them. She thought about how Crowley actually brought in special healers and therapists just for them for weeks after their incidents and how they still have check-ins with him to ensure they’re on the right track. 

Where was that for her? Her body couldn’t produce magic, she couldn’t  Overblot to make others realize how badly she was hurt mentally, physically, emotionally. She couldn’t voice her worries because who would listen? Even when she tried to warn her friends about the smallest of dangers, they simply brushed her off. Her words didn’t matter; so why would her thoughts matter.

‘Is that it?’ She wondered, a sudden cold feeling filling her form. What if she truly was the issue? Why was she so focused on having her thoughts and feelings acknowledged when she knew that all others wanted was for her to help them? They are all more important than her pathetic emotions, right? They have a life and future here in their world and it’s clear she’s just an anomaly who may never return to where she was once from. Was she - overvaluing herself? Was it all-

“It’s your fault, you know!” Grimm yelled suddenly, directly in front of her.

MC stopped suddenly, a cold chill rushing through her body at the words. Her fingernails slowly began digging into her skin as she looked into Grim’s eyes. “W-what?”

“It’s your fault!! You know, I had to do cleaning duty!” He complained, his little paws resting on his hips as he scowled. “I wanted to pick up some of that discount tuna before Ruggie got all of it but I was roped into cleaning! Not to mention those creepy twins came at me about something you forgot! And you forgot the library today! I'm not cleaning that just because you're lazy and took a fall! You’re my henchman, not the other way around! Don’t be selfish! ”

M/C this. M/C that. Clean the weeds. Fetch my things. Deliver this. Talk to this person. Clean this, clean that. Keeping busy, always busy.

'It's for the best. They have other things to focus on-'

She stopped walking, her head hurting more and more, as if a little thing was smashing cauldrons over and over against her brain. Her heart joined the rhymed pounding so hard, she gripped her chest in a vain attempt to calm it.

"Stop-" She gasped but couldn't say more as she stepped back, her throat clenching.

'They are more important. Don't deny it'

'They will never care about you.'

'You don't belong here.'

“I know as the Great Magician that I am, that I need to carry the both of us since you're useless without magic but you need to watch it with the - huh? MC?!” Grimm continued, his tone shifting to something MC didn’t want to hear – something she couldn’t hear.

She backed away, one step and then two before rushing off towards the entrance gates of the College. Not once looking back.

Her surroundings blurred as she ran, not taking into account where she was truly going - just knowing that she had to get away, far away. From the Grim, from all of the others, from Night Raven College, from everything.She just wanted it all to go away!

'Useless.'

'Magicless.'

‘Selfish’

"Stop! Stop it!" She sobbed, her breath catching in her throat. Her chest began to hurt more than her head caused her to stagger in her stride. M/C felt herself tumble down and crash down a slope, the brush scratching her as she went down before she hit something hard and frigid. 

She sobbed as the thoughts continued to repeat in her head; Every overblot, every chore, every demand, every reprimand, every expectation, and every sign of disappointment. Why was she truly like this? She wasn’t good for anything but menial tasks due to her lack of magic and still she can’t do any of that right. 

“Make it stop, make it stop, makeitstop…”

She didn’t know how long she laid there, nor how long she was sobbing, begging and screaming for the pain to go away, for the thoughts to go away. The pain in her head only grew the more she cried, and as it grew  - so did that pain and tightness in her chest.

‘Useless.’

‘Useless!’

‘USELE-’

Until the darkness took her under again.

But unlike before - the chill of the darkness grew stronger and more intense until it was the only thing she was able to feel. Just as the voices were the only thing she was able to hear. Repeating their words over and over, in a hell that she couldn’t wake up from.

After what seems like ages, a gradual warmth began to seep into  the darkness around her. A spreading, far reaching feeling spreading across her body but oddly focused around her back and under her legs. 

‘What is…’ She wondered as another sensation came to her slowly, a rocking kind of motion accompanied by a lightness. It reminded her of the gentle swaying of the waves of Coral Sea but was swiftly ruined by the sound of harsh thunder reigniting the pain in her head. A flash of brilliant light flashed across her eyelids, causing her to whimper.

“Are…-ake, dear?” A familiar, deep voice crooned, not loud enough to hurt her head any further but enough for her to hear it clearly.

‘This voice…I know it…I..Why is he-’

‘You’re wasting his time.’

“Shhh, your heart…racing again. You…it’s Lillia���Focus on my breathing, little one.” Lillia’s voice soothed, as the rocking motion slowed - was she being carried? M/C registered the warmth tightening around her slightly as her breath quickened unintentionally.  “Shhh, focus…. You can do it. Think of nothing else but my voice and deep breaths.”

It took what felt like ages before M/C was able to focus on the steady rise and fall of her head in time with Lillia’s breathing. The ache in her chest lightened but the pain in her head did not, only worsening as she attempted to open her eyes. Another flash of lightning, red eyes and furrowed brows.

“It’s best if your eyes remain closed. The storm will only worsen the pain of your concussion.” Lillia remarked, just before more thunder rumbled. “ You worried us all, dear. Especially dear Malleus.”

“C-concussion? B-but I…don’t have a-” She mumbled, turning her head to hide from the storm before a thought flashed through her mind. “T-The library! I didn’t clean i-”

“You will not be cleaning anything nor doing any chores for the foreseeable future, little one.” Lillia cut her off quickly, his soft voice containing a firmer tone than she was used to hearing. “You are injured and have been pushing yourself too hard. Far harder than you should have.”

‘He knows you can’t do it. That’s why he said that.’

‘He knows you’re pathetic.’

“No, n-no I’m not. It’s fine. If anything I need to push harder, heh.” She forced out a laugh, attempting to lighten the atmosphere but Lillia merely sighed.  “I-It’s nothing really!”

“You’ve barely been eating, little one. Silver told me as such and I witnessed it myself; We were going to ensure you ate this evening but you didn’t show. In addition, you’ve been having more accidents than usual and have been unfocused. You. Are.Exhausted.”

“No, it’s fine. I just, if I just finish this one thing then it’s fine. I-I can clean the library super fast and it’s all okay!” She pressed, fighting the urge to cry once more. Had her screw ups been that apparent? She didn’t mean to; She was doing her best!

“But it’s never just one thing, is it?” M/C faintly registered the sound of his shoes upon cobblestone, were they back on campus?  “After this, then there’s another favor that’s asked of you, another assignment, another mess to clean. But – have you had time for yourself, little one?”

“…I-I do at night I have-“ The words trailed off as she tried to think of something. She did have time to herself at night but it was never for long, especially when her thoughts would become so loud or she would get those odd dreams of things she swears she’s seen but can’t fully remember. 

“But you live with Grim,yes? Who boasts about how tidy you keep your shared room…so I can only wonder how much alone time you get in there at all.” He hummed,and for a brief moment MC felt the brush of something soft and silken brush her face. Lilia seemed to shift slightly, curling into her  before the gently swaying became an airy sensation, like she was adrift but his warmth continued to steady her.

“…”

“And let us not forget that Malleus often takes his nightly walks in your area; Often alongside you, yes?  He’s told us that he’s seen lights on in Ramshackle as late as the early morning hours even after he’s escorted you home.”

“Ramshackle…isn’t my home.” She mumbled, her eyes growing hot and tears welled within. “This isn’t my home, I don’t belong and that’s why this doesn’t matter. I don’t know why you’re wasting your time with me; you have better things-”

“Do you know what’s the scariest thing in the world?”

“Huh?”

Lilia’s voice was low as he continued to speak, “Asking for help. You have to open yourself up and admit to yourself and someone else that you need help. That you need someone there to help you stand until you get your footing once again. There’s not many people who can open themselves up to doing that. Magically inclined or not.”

MC thinks of everyone who asks her for help. “No one seems to have that issue here…”

“They do love to ask you for things but not for those matters that are oh-so  troubling to them. Most would rather keep to themselves and allow their thoughts to consume them before they incite their pleas. Does that sound familiar?”

MC bit her lip, her eyes opening partially as her tears finally began to fall. She vaguely noticed the dim setting around them, but nothing was truly familiar as her tears blurred her sight. “All of you already have so much to worry about and futures to plan and…it’s just…better if I don’t ask.”

“And what, praytell, about your future, little one?” Lilia pressed as MC shakily used her hands to wipe her tears away.

“I…don’t think I have one. I don’t have magic so I can’t really….. I’m a magic-less student in a magically-based academy – how am I even going to use what I’m being taught? I’m just pathetic and worthless-.”

“Enough. I refuse to listen to you slander yourself in such a way, Child of Man.”

MC tensed as Malleus’s voice rang out firm from somewhere in front of Lilia and herself. She slowly parted her fingers, blinking so as to get a clear peek between them but quickly came to wish she hadn’t. She wished she could go back to that unknown area where Lilia had taken her from and just melt there where she wouldn’t have to deal with what was in front of her and the implications it all held.

Standing before her, in the main room of Ramshackle Dorm, were the Dorm Leaders , Grim and Sam with various expressions across their faces. -----------------------------taglist-------------------------------

@mamushroomoracorn | @sailor-pom | @secondb0rn | @honey-deerling-oc | @valerieelizablack | @hanafubukki |@houseoftitans | @butterscotch-babie | @thai | @alextheknight707 | @starshiningsirius | @vanrougette | @valerieelizablack | @cherrysamasama | @over-active-daydreamer | @tanspostsblog | @pineapple-coco | @silvsilvysilver | @diu0sanr | @amoresdarlene | @alankorex | @thehomosexualsupportingcast | @formerstands | @yourunsearc | @twst-rui | @StarryOne23

[dumbass-tumbler-cryptid]

   Hello! So my little rant from the other day inspired a concept for a whole new fic and I just couldn't resist writing it! I have no idea what to call this which is why I'm posting it here before a03. If anyone has any suggestions let me know. (I was thinking sins of the father but i think there's already a Quaritch and Spider fic with that name)

Anyway the premise is that the recoms were grown on Pandora instead of Earth. Instead of just killing them it's decided that they'll just keep them comatose in their pods. Until a system failure wakes them up. Spider is only seven in this fic.

Edit: I have since named this fic. It's called Visited on the Son (thank you @nilnether for helping me pick the name) and you can find it on Ao3 here

Enjoy!

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 He always felt calm in the tank room under the blue glow of the synthetic amniotic fluid. The only sounds came from the steady heartbeats of the sleeping Na’vi and the idol chatter of his best friend Kiri as she talked to her comatose mother. Spider sat, staring up at his father floating peacefully in his pod. He placed his hand on the glass, as if his touch could make the man wake up. But he never would. He wasn’t allowed to wake up.

     “I went to the village today,” the seven year old said in a hush. “Me and my friends made bracelets! Until their sa’nu made me come back here. I don’t like here very much sempu. It’s….cold. But at least Kiri came back with me for a little bit. Until she has to go back home, to her family…..”

     The door burst open making both children jump. “Miles!” Spider shrank in fear as his foster father stormed up to him. Mr. McCosker grabbed Spider’s arm, yanking him to his feet so hard he thought his arm would rip from its socket. “Did you go to the village without permission again!” The little boy whimpered, trying to avoid the man screaming in his face. “Answer me!” Nash shook him.

       “Yes,” Spider cried.

       “How many times do I have to tell you! No one wants you there!”

       “I want him there,” Kiri yelled, “and so do my brothers!”

        Spider smiled despite the tears in his eyes. Nash growled, “well the adults don’t want him there. And you know better than to just run off…”

        “But you were busy,” Spider said timidly, “I just wanted to play…”

         Nash roughly pulled on his arm again making Spider yelp, “oh you just wanted to play,” his foster father mocked, “you can play by yourself! Do you have any idea the trouble you cause every time you do this!” Nash spun him around to face his sempu. “You're just like your father. A wicked little beast. Why they even bother keeping these things alive is beyond me. It’s a waste of time and resources. Just like you.” Spider’s bottom lip trembled but he didn’t shed a tear. He was used to Mr.McCosker’s angry rants. “Now come on! I hope you like your room because you're gonna be spending a lot of time in there thinking about what you did. And you can forget about dinner….” 

       Spider locked eyes with Kiri as he was dragged from the room. He waved, giving her a sad smile, mouthing bye. He knew she wanted to fight for him. They’d been through this all before and so she knew that Spider would rather she stay out of it. Still she smoldered with rage, fist clenched at her sides. Spider spared one last glance at his father’s tank before being completely taken from the room. Bye sempu. 

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       That night as Spider tried and failed to sleep with his painfully empty stomach an alarm sounded through all of Hell’s Gate having the entire base up and moving in moments. Spider covered his ears burying himself under his blankets as red lights flashed. This had never happened before. What is this? What should I do? He could faintly hear his foster parents through the noise, Mr.McCosker stomping through the apartment and out the door, Mrs. McCosker pacing the living room as she made a call. But Spider didn’t want to go to them. He didn’t want to be anywhere near them.

     He focused his attention through the small window above his bed. The floodlights were on outside as people ran back and forth. He knew deep down that something was seriously wrong. But it couldn’t be too bad if his foster parents hadn’t come to get him. They wouldn’t just leave him behind, right? Eywa help me, he silently prayed.

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     The first thing he was aware of was the heaviness of his own breathing. Then came the sound of his heart beating slow and steady. Next was the feeling of floating. Finally as his senses returned he opened his eyes to a mix of soft shimmering blue light and harsh flashing red. What in the fuck, Miles thought as he took it all in. He was in a tank. He raised his fist to beat on the glass, making him see his body for the first time.

      Ain’t this a bitch. He was na’vi now. Which only meant one thing. Focus he willed himself. First order of business was getting out of the tank. He’d deal with the rest later. Miles placed his hand on the glass, getting a scene of its thickness. Too thick to break. He looked towards his feet then above his head finding exactly what he’d hoped. An escape hatch. A few good twists was all it took for him to spill out of the container onto the linoleum floor of the labs.

      His eyes roved his surroundings. The computers blared a message of system failure. No doubt the reason he woke up. To his right was the exit. To his left a row of familiar faces all wide eyed and banging on their tanks for release. Miles stumbled as he rose on unsteady alien legs. He persevered making his way to the other tanks, freeing his team one by one. “What’s going on boss,” Lyle said.

      “Isn’t it obvious? We died. And now we're back.”

       Lyle rolled his eyes, “I get that but this…”

       “We weren’t supposed to wake up,” Z said, staring at the computer screen, “and if we’re only waking up because of a computer glitch….” She let the implication hang in the air as they all sprung into action, dressing in whatever clothes the avatars had left behind, making weapons from broken chair legs and glass shards, each looping a na’vi breathing mask around their neck.

       “Alright people,” Miles said when they were ready, “for our sins in our past life we have been brought back as the enemy. In enemy territory no less. We don’t know what things look like past those doors so be ready for anything. Head on a swivel,” his team nodded, “alright. Let’s move out.” They made their way down the red lit hall in formation, Miles leading them. Aside from the alarm it was eerily quiet. All the personnel must have been off somewhere dealing with the system failure.

         It only took a few quick glances for Miles to know exactly where he was. Hell’s Gate. Home sweet home. He knew this place like the back of his hand. He led his team not to the control center but to the living quarters. They’d surely be able to take some hostages there, grill them for more information. How long had it been? Who was in command? What happened to the R.D.A. His team's survival hinged on these answers.

        The hallway of apartments was deserted, doors left ajar from hasty exits. They searched the rooms one by one, not a soul in sight. “Maybe we should just run while we have the chance,” said Lyle, “we don’t need masks to breathe out there anymore. We can survive…”

        “I’m not runnin’ like a coward,” Miles growled. He needed to know what happened. Not only in the war but also to…

        They entered the final apartment on the right hand side of the hall. Just like all the others the place had been fled in a hurry, all the doors left open. Except for one. Miles raised his fist signaling, hold tight on me. Cautiously he opened the door to find a child’s room. The furniture was small, made for a toddler but the few articles of clothing strewn about the room suggested a child in the age range of six to eight. Miles’ eyes zeroed in on a form, too big for its little bed, curled up in its sheets. “Prager,” he called, “kill that alarm would y’a.” Prager nodded, expertly having the wires of the screaming red light out and severed in seconds plunging them into blissful silence. 

         Who could leave a child behind like this, Miles thought as the form shifted. Big brown eyes peaked out at him, wide and curious, not an ounce of fear. Miles dropped down to the kids level, “hi there,” he said gently reaching out to pull the cover back.

         “You're awake,” the child said in an awed hush.

          That made Miles still, “you know me?”

          The kid nodded under the covers, “they said you’d never wake up.”

          “Who said that?”

           “Jake, Norm, the McCoskers. Everyone. They said you were too bad to wake up. So if you're awake does that mean you're not bad anymore? Or was I bad enough to be put to sleep…”

          A chill went up Miles' spine, “why would they put you to sleep? You're just a kid.”

         “Because I’m bad. The McCosker’s tell me all the time. And Mrs.Sully says I’m a demon's son…

         Miles sucked in a breath. Mrs.Sully. Jake’s little na’vi girlfriend, the one that made him turn traitor. He knew exactly who would draw her hatred enough to damn a son for their father’s sins. A dangerous hope flaired to life but he fought to push it down. It’s not him. They would have sent him back to Earth. “Can you sit up please so I can get a look at you,” he coaxed the boy. 

        He complied, wrapping the sheets around his shoulders. The boy reached out a little hand touching Miles face, “your real. You really woke up sempu.”

      Miles hardly knew any na’vi but he knew that word for sure. He studied the boy in front of him knowing in his gut that he was his. He had his father’s brow and nose. His mother’s cheeks, her smile. Most importantly their son had the brown eyes of Miles’ lover, the woman he knew without a doubt was dead. She’d never leave her son behind like this. Wouldn’t let this little boy's long, dry, blond hair, start to mat in places. The kid's stomach rumbled. She wouldn’t let him go hungry. “Miles?”

         He nodded, “yeah, but people only use that name when I’m bad. Most people call me Spider.”

        Miles hid his scowl, masking it with a huff of a laugh, “why do they call you that?”

        Spider perked up, giving him a sunny smile that melted his father’s heart, “because I like to climb!”  Miles chuckled for real at his son’s clear enthusiasm. It’s just a nickname, he reasoned with himself. It would be easier than having two Miles’.

        Spider’s smile slipped as his stomach growled again, making him wrap his arms around himself. Miles scowled. “Who’s closest to the kitchen,” he called.

        “Me,” Mansk answered.

         “Grab somethin’ for my boy to eat would y’a…”

         “But…The McCosker’s will get mad at me. I’m in trouble for leaving and if I…”

         “Who are the McCosker’s,” Miles asked with an undertone of malice. Who ever they were he already hated them.

         Spider averted his gaze, mumbling, “they’re my foster parents…”

         Miles lifted the boy’s little head looking him square in the eye, “well daddy’s back now. And I say you're gonna eat.” Mansk entered with a sandwich cut in half. “Come here.” Spider watched curiously as his father stood but clearly panicked when the man picked him up, sitting on the bed and settling Spider on his lap in one swift movement. Miles took note of his son’s clear distress. He was rigid in his arms, blank faced. The father bounced his son on his knee trying to calm him down. Mansk handed the sandwich to Miles who then offered a bite to Spider. Hesitantly he took it.

         “Good boy,” Miles said gently, rubbing his son’s back. Whether it was the praise or the touch Spider slightly relaxed. “Is it good?” Spider gave a small happy nod. Miles smiled back. “Good. Now what do you say to uncle Mansk?”

        Spider turned to the recom, “thank you.” 

        He sounded so sweet that the hardened soldiers in the room couldn’t help but melt. “You're welcome,” Mansk said. 

        “Spider,” Miles called, drawing his son’s attention, “how old are you now.”

        “Seven,” he answered absentmindedly, enjoying his meal.

         Seven. Making it roughly six years since the war. “A big boy,” Miles bounced his son again, eliciting a little giggle from the boy that made his father grin, his heart warming. “You know when you were little I was in charge around here. Do you know who’s in charge now?”

        “Jake,” Spider said without a care. The rest of the room quietly took in this information. If that traitor was running things now then they’d have to play their cards right if they wanted to get out of this one alive. 

        “He’s quite the fighter. I know we couldn’t take him, or his army,” Miles said keeping his tone light hearted for his son’s sake. His team was smart enough to catch on to what he really meant. Spider nodded his agreement. “Say, why’d Jake keep us asleep?” Miles said while tucking his son’s hair behind his ear so he wouldn’t accidentally eat it as he devoured his food.

       Spider shrugged, “I heard him say once that only a coward would kill a man in his sleep. That’s why I guess.”

       Miles could respect that. If Jake was honorable enough to not strike when they were most vulnerable, Miles was willing to bet that Jake would at least put them through some sort of trial before executing them. And that would open up a whole world of possibilities. “That was mighty kind of him. I’d sure like to thank him for keeping us all alive and thrivin’.”

      Spider’s eyes lit up, “you do?”

      Miles nodded, “sure I do!” His team displayed a mix of emotions as his real intentions set it. They were surrendering. 

      ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

        Jake led the recoms like dogs on a leash, their hands bound and bodies tied together in a line, avatars keeping them on track with loaded guns. “Quite the trek gettin’ to your little village,” Miles said.

       Jake scowled, “don’t talk to me.”

       “What’s the matter Jake? We can’t have a nice conversation together?” Jake pointedly ignored him. “You all really let my boy walk all the way to the village by himself?”

       “He’s not your son,” Jake hissed.

        “I beg to differ. You can’t call him a demon’s son then turn around and say he doesn’t belong to me.” Jake smoldered with rage but stayed quiet. “Unless you're saying that I am not in fact Miles Quaritch, in which case me and my team can’t be held accountable for the actions of our genetic predecessors…”

      “Of course your Quaritch,” Jake snapped, “that body is nothing but a blank slate. It’d sleep forever without some kind of driver…”

     “So that means I’m Miles Quaritch, father of Miles “Spider” Socorro….” Jake growled, walking faster, harshly tugging on his leads to make the recoms do the same. The recoms all snickered. “I should thank you though Jake for not slandering me in front of my son. He knows I’m “bad” but doesn’t seem to know how bad…”

      “It wasn’t intentional. How the hell are you supposed to tell a kid his father is responsible for the deaths of hundreds.”

      “Fair.” They quieted as they approached the village. The Omatikaya lined the walkway screaming and hissing as the recoms were led to the heart of the village. Their tsahik Mo’at waited there with her daughter at her side, Neytiri’s teeth bared and snarling. Miles inclined his head to her as the recoms were lined up, “Mrs. Sully.”

      “Demon!” Neytiri lunged at him, knife in hand.

       “Daughter,” her mother held up her hand, placating Neytiri. She backed down but still stood ready to strike. Mo’at fixed them with a hard stare that even Miles felt uneasy under. She walked around them picking at their ears and tails, analyzing them coldly. Once she was satisfied she stood before them, the entire village waiting with bated breath for her verdict. To the shock of all, the tsahik laughed. “Ah, the great mother knows what she’s doing. You demons who so brutally destroyed our home and slaughtered our people. With no respect for the great balance! Eywa has made you one of us so you could connect and feel the devastation you brought among the people!” The villagers all screamed their agreements. “I can think of no greater punishment than to make you learn our ways. Make you understand and feel what you have done until you are so remorseful that you weep at the foot of the Tree of Souls and beg the great mother for forgiveness!” The village roared.

       Miles stood there in shock. He’d expected to have to plead his case. Argue that his team were clones of their predecessors. That they couldn’t be held accountable for what they’d done. “So…your not gonna execute us?”

       Mo’at looked at him in confusion, not understanding his words. Jake said, “Na’vi don’t do executions. They banish their criminals to the ash lands. But I’d tried to convince Mo’at to make an exception for you.”

      Miles grinned, “well it looks like you failed…” Mo’at raped him with her walking stick right between his eyes making Miles stumble back. 

     “Do not think you are getting off easy! If you want to live then you will learn our ways. If you refuse I have no issue banishing you from this land. Then your fate will truly lie with Eywa.”

     “Yes ma’am.” Miles bowed his head to her, the other recoms following suit. 

     “You will come back here tomorrow and every day after until your insanity is cured,” they nodded their agreement, “good. Now away with you!” The clan jeered and hissed as Jake led them back towards Hell’s Gate.

      When they were well away from the village Miles spoke, “well, now that that’s settled, let’s talk about my boy…”

       Jake scowled, “no..”

       “I want back custody…”

        “Absolutely not!”

        “Tell me Jake, what happened last night?” Jake paused. Knowing exactly where this was going he stayed silent. “I know Hells Gate better than anyone. If anything goes haywire the systems automatically reroute power to keep the control room and the cafeteria powered and oxygenated. That’s what happened last night and those damn McCoskers left Spider behind to die! How long do you think it would’ve taken for the living quarters to run out of oxygen….”

       Jake sighed, “Where having a meeting with the McCoskers when we get back…”

       “And I want to be there..”

       “No.”

       “He’s my son! They sure as hell don’t want him! Do you want him Jake?” He shifted uncomfortably, choosing not to answer. “How about you? Do you want my kid,” Miles asked Norm. Norm also stayed quiet. “Is there a single person on that base that could give my son a lovin’ home…”

       “We’re going to work something out…”

        “Yeah you're gonna give me my kid.” Jake clenched his jaw, choosing to ignore Miles for the rest of the walk.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

         “We don’t want him anymore,” Nash said, “he’s too wild. We’re having our own baby soon…and now that his father’s back…”

         “Quaritch can’t have Spider,” Jake said.

          “Why not? We’re not executing him, we’re not really imprisoning him and he wants the kid. I say let him have his little bastard…”

          “Don’t call him that!” Jake yelled, fighting to maintain some level of calm.

           Norm gave his friend a sympathetic smile, “we can’t let Spider stay with Nash and Mary anymore. Not after last night…” Nash didn’t even seem guilty over leaving a child to die, “….and remember the last time we had to find a placement for Spider…” Jake most certainly did. No one had been willing to take the boy. They’d had to twist Nash’s arm just to accept Spider in the first place, which was now blowing up in their faces in spectacular fashion. 

          “I don’t want Quaritch to win here…”

          “It’s not about that Jake. It’s what’s best for Spider..”

          “How could that monster be what’s best for him!”

           “It’s better than nothing!” Jake scoffed, “We’ll watch Quaritch like a hawk. If anything happens to Spider we’ll take him away in a second…”

          “Oh come on now,” the man in question finally said, “i’m a lot of things but do you really think I’d hurt my own child!”

         “We wouldn’t be having this conversation otherwise,” Jake snapped.

          “You put Spider in the custody of two people who left him to die! Who let him starve! What else have they been doing right under your nose?” Jake had the decency to look guilty.

         Nash waved him off, “let him have his kid Jake. It’ll be enough punishment for him.” Jake had to stop Quaritch from lunging across the table to throttle Nash, the recom turning purple from how incensed he was.

       “Fine!” Jack shouted if only to stop Quaritch from committing murder, “you can take custody of Spider! But if you hurt him I swear…”

       “Pff..” Quaritch shook him off, “please. I couldn’t do any worse than you.”

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

        The recoms were locked into the avatar quarters for the night. Not that they minded. It finally gave them a chance to speak openly after their first chaotic day in their new bodies. “So we’re really just gonna go along with all this boss,” Prager asked.

        Miles nodded, “the R.D.A is gone. For now at least. We hang tight, learn the savages way, worm our way into the rebels' operations. We’ll be sitting real pretty when the company makes their comeback.” Everyone grinned, a few cheering for their new found mission. Miles couldn’t help but smile back, “alright now get some shut eye. We got a long day tomorrow.” The others nodded agreements before settling into bed. Miles did the same. He smiled to himself thinking about tomorrow. First they’d have their silly ass lessons in the village. But then they’d start renovations on Miles' apartment from back in the day, getting it all ready for Spider to move in. A home for me and my son. He couldn’t wait.

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Hope you liked it! I do know how I'm ending this fic already but if you have any ideas for bonding/learning moments that you'd like to see I'll be happy to write them.💞