#And that he regretted it deeply
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people love to talk about invincible for it's over the top gore and violence, but i really do think the show's writing is at it's best when it's just two people have a conversation
#LIKE UGH#this scene + 'you dad. i'd still have you' are probably my two fave scenes in the entire show like WOWW#the casualness...the familiarity.....the intimacy........like wow#you can tell just how much rex and eve care for each other despite the fact that rex has hurt eve so deeply#and you can tell how much rex regrets hurting eve just based on how he talks about all of the stuff that eve went through on her own#and how rex was given the opportunity to grow and change because of her LIKE!!!!!#also all the references to the rex splode prequel comic...rex hiding in her room for a year...eve showing rex her family portrait#(which didnt happen in the comic so i am assuming their gonna add it to their eventual adaptation of the comic plz)#AND EVE my beautiful princess who deserves the world and then some#atom eve#rex splode#invincible#shut up birdy#that one oomf who doesnt play abt rex and eve
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CASTIEL: Stop. What's the point if you don't mean it? You fear me - not love, not respect, just fear.
[youtube with closed captions]
a godstiel pity party. i'd like to thank an anon i got way back in february of 2021.
#spn#vid#spnamvarchive#so fun fact i started making this more than a year ago. got it 90% done. and then was like no this isn't working#i will come back to this later.#it turns out that i needed to make some videos about cas and angels (the love club + help i'm alive amvs)#in order to make this one. anyway this video is about french mistake robert singer voice season six#i really struggled with it because i could NOT find the thread until i realized that it needed to be literally godstiel pov#it's about love and desire and jealousy and hurt and omnidirectional rage <3#it's about the fact that cas is so utterly dependent on dean for his self-image - however dean sees him that's it#it's about having a moment of reflection about lashing out before you do it but doing it anyway#it's about taking cruelty and dishing it out#and crucially. it's about being pregnant#mpregpocalypse#fun fact: i made a post about working on three season six amvs all the way back in nov. 2022#and only now have they come to fruition (this one + love club + metric)#anyway. have you heard that cas is obsessed#the thing is i do kinda want to add some specific director's commentary here. like the first verse is about cas being like.#incredibly deeply emotionally vulnerable to dean. as in: his emotional state and self-image is totally dominated by what dean thinks of him#and if dean is mad at him. and then the second verse is about... dean upsetting him and him responding to that by Killing Everybody lol#like he has a moment of reflection ['certain regrettable things are now required of me' + killing rachel] where he's like i've 1) also done#bad things and 2) i feel bad about it so maybe i will regret Killing Everyone. but then he does it anyway due to everybody keeps turning#on him. i feel like the rest of the amv is self evident. i guess i should note that 'share a paradise' is about how both of them have#a nostalgic view of the early days of their relationship when it wasn't Like This lol. but everything else i think is self evident.#oh and the reason the other angels flash onscreen with their burned wings at the end is i'm EVOKING the image of cas' wings burning. even#though it doesn't happen. i'm evoking it
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colt’s rare moments of vulnerability
#colt seavers#ryan gosling#the fall guy#i think colt is one of the most intriguing characters he’s played#something about despair combined with ryan’s silly characters#depression/apathy with holland + growing up and feelings of desperation with ken#and surface-level regret and longing mixed with deeply rooted insecurities and yearning#the struggles of thinking that he’s no good anymore before he being called to jody’s set really touched me
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need to do edibles with him so bad
#his smile after you feel very good afterwards :)#taking a weed gummy and chillaxing he gets it. my man#other highlights of this video includes nico cleaning up a river in Berlin while wearing white jeans. regrets it deeply#nico rosberg
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Rereading the early chapters is fun, because you think there's a sort of funny scene coming up and then Kim Sunghan mentions his college days in passing and Yoojin thinks wouldn't it be nice to go to college. And then follows it up with I Need To Get Drunk.
#sctir#sctir lb#hyj#ksh#lowkey forgot how Aware he is of all the things he missed out on due to the parentification#like idk I kind of think of him as more or less content as long as he gets to be around his kids but obviously he spent a long time#on his own and very bitter about it which would only add to the regrets#the scene with ksh is set at a college bar and yj feels deeply out of place because he's older than those kids etc. except he's not really#if he were a 'normal' 25 year old this may have been how he spent his time at that age#but because he had to grow up so quickly as a caretaker he did not get to be an immature student who fooling around#and I think the way high rank awakeners get to sort of be carried through school really adds to that bitterness#the guy who recommended the bar barely attends classes and only hasn't failed out because of the privileges of his rank#similarly to the military stuff#anyway Yoojin I know you went to rehab but have we considered trying healthy coping mechanisms
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here together
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#lobotomy corporation spoilers#abram lobcorp#i didnt know that the song that plays during day 48 ending is called 'here together'.#couldnt hear it well because i typically have my sound low (sensetive to louder sounds) and also the dialog fucked me up#so when i pressed on it to hear it. to actually listen to it. then to see the name and remember what it Looked like#i got teary eyed. sorry.#it happened quite. afew times when finishing this shitty thing#i was thinking of how camren's not quite corpse looked as if it were reaching out to him inside the container#how it looked as if she had wings. abrams words. the line from one story that was--#something like 'we were hoping it was just one big prank and she would hop out fro. around the corner with a smile on her face'#how do you move forward when all you think you cause is pain? when everything else youve done only brought to bring people you love to thei#downfall and demise inside agony and fear as they lay dying. none of that was merciful. none of that was just. they were told to carry on#her dream and he views as if all he had done was to become cruel and wasnt fit and never even began to finish what she started.#it was so striking to me. the language he used. sleeping. alseep. waken. when all the others never sugarcoated it#in lobcorp they always said it straight. 'suicide' 'killed' 'dead'. but he used something far more.. peaceful? kind in wording in a way.#softer. describing death as if it were a merciful thing. an end that suits them and not something to be afraid of. to just... sink. to slee#to be with carmen again. to put everything to an end#the place they built with their hands. to have it just... stop. not in a way of repeating and staying in the moment#but of a permanent end. to 'sleep'. to die. to just.... stop. forever. to see no more. to do no more#to not be able to do Anything for when ever he had done Something it just cause agony. cruel hands partaking in acts he so deeply#regrets. everything is just regret. it sounds nice. to move on. to just move forward. but how can you move forward when all you think you#bring to those you cherished and couldnt leave behind is pain?#ill likely move this somewhere else as well. ive been meaning to talk about abram#the rest as well actually. mostly just the few final days w abel adam and abram since i am STUCK ON DAY 49#oh dear i uh typed a lot in the tags. oops
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i have so much deep lore when it comes to my zosan ocs and just older zosan as a whole
i want to make more art and write some fan fics to flesh out the ideas I have but my art block has been pretty awful as of late.
the idea that's in my head rn is about the first baby, Mari, and how there's no way Sanji didn't react badly to the news. I think with his family baggage, the news of "whoospie we didn't use a condom! you're a father now!" would trigger Sanji's worst tendencies. I love soft Papa Sanji but in my heart of hearts, I think it would be something he has to work for.
#non art#one piece#zosan#roronoa zoro#vinsmoke sanji#a/b/o#mpreg#both sanji and zoro are a bit of a bastard#and I want to see more of that character explore in family/mpreg fics#I want zoro and sanji pointing fingers and getting really upset each other#deeply regretting it in the cool down and then being forced to talk through their feelings#also the crew being pissed off at the rancid vibes on the ship that this falling out has caused#zoro isn't sure how he feels about the news and is really angry at sanji for making it even more difficult for him#and sanji is just caught in a spiral of his own anxiety and self pitty
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i like saw 3D if i’m in the right headspace to disassociate it from the prior 6 movies but aside from lawrence’s rightfully bemoaned character assassination hoffman’s personality shift is also more than a little upsetting
#saw iv and saw v put emphasis on hoffman flinching away from the violence he inflicts and literally crying after the fact multiple times#he cries after kidnapping eddie#tearstain on his cheek after killing strahm#refuses to look at rigg for too long as he bleeds out#turns his head away as strahm’s blood drips onto the lid of the glass coffin#for fuck’s sake he cries and claws at the door when he kills his sister’s neonazi murderer#AND IN THE SCRIPT HE FUCKING#EXPRESSES REMORSE INSTEAD OF SATISFACTION WHEN HE’S CONVINCED JOHN IS GOING TO BLOW HIS BRAINS OUT#but he turns into an unsympathetic rabid animal in saw 3D. like brainless slasher villain evil who was always a sociopath#instead of the hoffman that literally regrets his actions as he’s committing them and refuses to gaze upon what he’s done#idk man. idk#r#saw#mark hoffman#he put rigg and strahm into these games and fucking begs them for their trust#he’s such a deeply lonely miserable man and violence is all he has left
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we need to stop characterizing misako as a terrible mom and instead hate dr julien for deadbeat and leaving echo in that damn lighthouse
#this is /hj cause i mean echo was written#after he was gone from the narrative so like. not his fault later seasons would make him look bad in retrospect#but also that’s interesting for angst purposes#ALSO I AM MISAKOS BIGGEST DEFENDER.#yeah abandoning lloyd was shitty but she CANONICALLY deeply regrets it and#was just trying to prevent lloyd from hating his dad and having to fight him#and then she dedicated her entire life after that to trying to save him from fighting him#OVERALL her story is SO MUCH more interesting when you consider how tragic it is#also ppl act like she and llpyd hate eachother for some reason which makes no fucking sense#canonically she and llpyd have a good relationship (a better one than post oni trilogy lloyd and garmadon…)#anyway. i love misako she would’ve loved never love an anchor by the crane wives#ok rant over thanks for coming to my ted talk#anyways#ninjago#lego ninjago#dr julien#misako#echo zane
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I have been thinking about Q.
Falling in love with the person leaving him notes at the cafe throws him completely off balance. It's his final year of high school, his world must revolve around his art and getting into college. But he's sitting thinking about this person he has never met and how natural it feels to love them and how deep this feeling has settled into his chest and how little he knows how to deal with it.
So he leaves. He goes to university. He spends a year making friends, dating around, drinking. His art surrounds him again and if he ignores the memory of that milk frappe boy whom he left behind then he can return to the person he understands. He loathes that he is able to live with having left him behind. He draws and fools around some more. And so the year ends, and, walking into a new semester, he meets Toey.
Q's mentee is. strange. For a fine arts major, he has the most peculiar relationship to art. He doesn't have the faintest clue of the skills that, to q, are simple as breathing. Armed with blunt pencils and a conviction like none other, Toey paints beauty into the world around him
It's like I'm sitting in a vast grassy field, with a gentle breeze under a bright sky. It's like I'm watching a masterpiece of art.
Q recognizes the way he's starting to care about Toey, but he's still trying to learn how to show it. Small gestures, little invitations. Quite moments with just the two of them. He remembers the milk frappe boy and regrets what he didn't do then. But he likes the person Toey is showing him how to be.
You said I didn't take care of you at all, so I'm treating you to some desserts.
It occurs to Q all at once that Toey might just as easily slip away. Because of a love beyond his hands or someone else who gets there faster or his own lack of action. Q refuses to lose the person he loves ever again. He's never been in love with a boy. He doesn't even know if Toey has a reason to like him back. But he doesn't have the time to give thought to his feelings or his fears. He needs to run towards Toey, faster than he himself thought it possible.
So when he finds out the truth, the feeling of betrayal is difficult to describe. The love that he had kept concealed - from everyone and from himself - out on display for all of his friends. A boy who made him want to reach out and hold onto his own genuine feelings, working behind him to catch him off guard.
The boy he has been in love with loves him back. He has always loved him back.
But the person he has been becoming now feels like he might slip away. How easy it would be to let him go. How easily he had left him in pain and silence, two years ago.
#i am crying sobbing#i have spent the entire week thinking about him#i know i am a toey fixationist but q has been ON MY MIND#the show follows toey so closely and i love that!!!#but it makes me wonder how q feels about all of this#he isn't the most expressive character#(y'all you read some of the translations on twitter in EVERY Q chapter he says like 5% of his thoughts and just. thinks (narrates) the rest#even toey being ace!!!! was a q thought#we are the series#we are the series episode 7#q#qtoey#toey#i think q holds a lot of regret about milk frappe boy#and being with toey makes him want to understand himself in that respect a little better#i think that while toey was pushing him to connect the dots#q was pushing himself to make it right with toey whatever he got wrong with milk frappe boy#he decided to move on and be better#only to be hit with the fact that he has already deeply hurt the person he loves#and that to feel betrayed is only hurting him again#wow i need to go cry
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the fact that after everything that happened. everything. all the arrogance, killing, jealousy, and pain. insisting that he doesn't need kaneda and doesn't want him to protect and save him. the second life flashes before his eyes tetsuo cries out for him and is still that crying boy that kaneda once knew at the orphanage
#☠️dookie.avi🎂#help i'll ill about them#i'm also not gonna sit here and justify his actions cuz uh yeah no#the stuff he's pulled was awful but i do think that he deeply regrets everything#kanetetsu#akira 1988#akira#tetsuo shima#kaneda shotaro
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"i would like to extend an invitation to join the followers of the apocalypse."
#fallout new vegas#fnv#courier six#courier oc#arcade gannon#julie farkas#hi more old art while im fighting demons 🙋♂️#i think this was b4 i knew that you could actually *join* some of the factions so when julie asked us we were like HUH🥺🥺#huge moment for him... the followers in adytum raised him and he left them for. reasons he really badly regrets. so this moment#was kind of like being given forgiveness and redemption in a way#it touched him deeply and he takes is job as a member of the followers very seriously. he refuses to let them down a second time#hes also very happy to match with arcade <3 because he is Gay#my art
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Irredeemable but trying, you and me
*getting forcibly dragged out of the kitchen* lEMME COOK-
Basically impossible crackship I thought of one day and proceeded to get foolishly invested in??? More likely than you think
Doodle, might finish later or not.
#feh#fe engage#fe awakening#fe rafal#fe grima#mgrima#rafal#fe robin#i live by robin and grima being the same person just different amount of memories#this grima is basically the fe:a enemy grima that lost#he got booted into the FE Engage world by Naga or something to try and redeem himself#you know maybe realize along the way that not ALL humans are terrible#I just think him and Rafal could have some interesting interaction#maybe bond over having destroyed a world and regretting it#and bond over never being enough and feeling like they are a monster that does not deserve kindness#and well. spare and work out their destructive urges on enemies deserving of being destroyed#monster4monster kinda ship#could also be FEH setting tbh I'm not picky I just need to drag others down this lonely hole of mine#idk i'm deeply in delulu town#also you can rip more monstrous + long hair grima from my cold dead hands i will not stop
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DOCTOBER '24 ⸺ 「 1 / 31 * RED-LETTER DATE 」
“Hey Doc? I wanna ask you something.”
Emmett doesn’t pop his head through the doorway to acknowledge his friend, too focused on topping off one of the mugs of hot chocolate with a generous helping of marshmallows, but he does shout, “Of course, Marty,” into the air. “You know you don’t have to ask. Let me bring Verne his cup and then you’ll have my undivided attention.”
Marty makes a vague noise that many years of friendship has taught Emmett means sure thing, Doc, and it takes him barely three minutes to drop off the hot chocolate to Verne, who smiled like it was Christmas morning when he saw the mountain of marshmallows floating at the top, and join Marty in the living room, carrying the tray with their own drinks. He passes one of them off to Marty who accepts with a smile and a nod and then takes a seat opposite him, fixing him with an expectant look.
“So, what did you want to ask me?”
Marty’s eyes immediately drift to the shelf, where Emmett and Clara’s small assortment of family photos sit, arranged in elegant wooden frames. In the centre is a black and white photo that has started to yellow around the edges, looking paradoxically fragile and yet able to withstand even the most rigorous tests of time, holding onto that frozen memory for all eternity. Emmett turns his head to follow Marty’s attention, his eyes alighting on the single photo he expects will be the topic of their conversation.
Ah. Out of all of them, there is only one Marty was never able to be present for.
For once, Emmett manages to look perfectly natural in a photograph, even dressed to the nines in a sharp suit. His smile stretches from ear-to-ear, making him look at least ten years younger, and though his face is angled away from the camera, his eyes are bright and alive, brimming with love and warmth. Marty could even imagine the photographer trying to get Emmett’s attention, demanding he look at him for the photo, only for every single word to go in one ear and straight out the other when Clara was standing beside him, smiling, the picture of radiance as she regards her husband with the same fond warmth. Her wedding dress was no more intricate than any of the outfits Marty had seen her wear during his few days in the Nineteenth Century, yet it seemed to be made for her and her alone, perfectly tailored and somehow able to put even the outfits of royalty to shame.
If Clara was the sun, Emmett was the moon that revolved around her. In that single moment, forever frozen in time, they were the only two people on Earth.
“I had been wanting to ask for a while, but–”
“No, no, of course. You didn’t get the chance to see it, and I’m sorry for that, so I’d be happy to fill you in on the details.”
Marty curls his fingers around the warm mug, shuffling somewhat in his seat, and Emmett waits patiently, noting each one of Marty’s nervous habits as they arise. There are a hundred and one things Marty wants to say, Emmett can see them written across his body, written into every small movement, and, equal and opposite, there are a thousand things Emmett wants to say in return, things he makes an effort to hold back until Marty speaks first.
“I’m happy for you two, Doc–really, I am. Clara’s–well, Clara’s amazing. And I’ve never seen you so happy before. I was afraid that–” Marty shakes his head, his eyes focused on the photographs. “When I first saw the picture, I was…” He forces a laugh, but there’s no humour in it and Emmett would know that self-depreciatory tone anywhere.
“It’s stupid, I know. I didn’t realise it at first, but I was jealous. Can you believe that, Doc? My best friend is happy, he’s got a family for Christ’s sake, and I was too busy at first being afraid that now you’re–you’re just gonna forget me because you’ve got Clara and the boys and the house and there wouldn’t be a place for me.”
Emmett’s eyes widen despite knowing the blow was coming and before he can open his mouth, allow the words that have been building up on his tongue to break free, Marty shakes his head and continues, reinforcing the wall and keeping the words at bay just a little longer.
“I know what you’re gonna say, Doc. I already said I know it’s stupid but I couldn’t help feeling that way. And I should have asked you about your wedding and everything a lot longer ago but I-I just couldn’t. And that’s fucking stupid, right? I want to know because I couldn’t be there for you and you’ve always been there for me.”
Marty’s words are a blade driven straight through his chest, each word twisting that razor-sharp blade a little more. He can’t help the pang of guilt he feels echoing in his ribcage, scraping against the bars of a prison he will not allow it to escape from, not now. This conversation was a long time coming–he’d almost expected it sooner rather than later, but he knew better than to push, knowing Marty would open up when he was ready–but no amount of anticipation could have prepared him for the blow that hearing it put to words would strike.
The Time Machine’s destruction had not been an accident. Everything had been carefully orchestrated to prevent any further corruption of the timestream, to spare himself the temptation–the broken heart–of trying to go back against all rational, scientific thought.
Ultimately, Marty couldn’t stay in the Nineteenth Century, not if he wanted to live a normal life, not if he wanted to be happy. And he couldn’t allow Marty to become another unsolved disappearance, leaving the McFlys to wonder and agonise over their youngest son who vanished from the face of the Earth without a trace.
Emmett may not have planned to stay, but even he couldn’t predict Clara’s intervention.
Life had to go on, even under extreme or difficult circumstances. There was only one choice available, then.
Still, Emmett doesn’t hesitate.
“Marty, I could never forget you. Whether we’re in the same time period or separated across the timestream, you will always be my best friend. And I will never stop caring about you. I know things have been busy lately, both for you and for me, what with your college courses and the boys’ schooling and Clara’s acclimation to the Twentieth Century and making the necessary repairs on the house–” Emmett stops himself before he runs off the entire list of seemingly infinitely-growing projects on his list.
“The point is, nothing is going to change that. And I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel neglected or unwanted at any point, because that couldn’t be further from the truth.”
Marty nods, finally pulling his eyes away from the photo to take a good long look at his best friend.
“I know, Doc. God, I know. You must think I’m an asshole.”
“You’re not an asshole. Far from it.”
Marty actually smiles at that, swirling his hot chocolate carefully in the cup. “So… You’ll still tell me about your wedding day?”
“Of course I will, Marty.” Emmett pauses for a moment, a thoughtful expression working its way over his face. Then, he smiles, almost conspiratorially as he recalls something of particular note. “The minister certainly wasn’t pleased when we changed until death do us part to something a little more fitting–until the end of time—”
@bttfdoctober
#back to the future#bttf#bttfdoctober#doctober 2024#LET'S GOOOO#SO. i've got a lot of thoughts about well everything but#i definitely think that while marty loves clara and the boys of course he couldn't help but be wary of them at first#feel jealous. think he was being replaced because now he wasn't the most important thing to doc#he's got the boys and a beautiful wife - why would he need/want marty along?#and there was definitely some jealousy and even low-key resentment/hostility at first which clara most certainly noticed#marty feels terrible about that but he couldn't help it. and neither doc nor clara reproach him for it because he's not wrong to feel as su#and though life gets busy doc could never forget marty but it's easy to forget that for marty - especially in the wake of all that's happen#and i think marty deeply regrets / perhaps even resents the fact that he didn't get to attend doc's wedding#one of the most important days of his best friend's life and he missed it#and missed ten years of doc's life too - separated by the once again impassable barrier of time.#it's a lot. it's complex and messy and all that#marty does want to know about the wedding - absolutely - but there's still so much they have to talk about#and this got so fucking long. 1200+ words and they all suck fjlk;asd;jf#BUT IT'S WRITTEN AND OH WELL.#i'll get back into the swing of it later#i have many many thoughts about the doc/clara wedding too ugh#clara looked absolutely beautiful and you can't convince me otherwise. she was the only one at that ceremony for doc and you know it#also this was supposed to go in a totally different direction yet somehow we ended up here. whoops! i strike again.
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thinking about ladynoir having a snowball fight. they get way too into it. chat is being flung off rooftops by snowballs. ladybug can no longer feel her hands but she does feel the burning hot need to destroy him
#miraculous#miraculous ladybug#ml#chat noir#ladybug#ladynoir#chat started it. he deeply regrets it#adrien and marinette come to school the next day sore as fuck and sniffling
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The turbulent existence of a clone.
Despite this, the cloning law would make it impossible for a co-existence.
#art.png#facility x-535#agent.velasquez#agent.ppodae#in hindsight Velasquez regrets joining the facility#but he was deeply troubled right after escpaing the hospital/getting greeted by director sy so#lobotomy corp oc
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