#And my computer memory too
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#i just found this in my drafts#It’s more than half I think#And my computer memory too#And my ipa- ok that’s enough I’m not saving anymore Jerem- ooh that’s a good gif#Oh Jeremy I could never stop saving pictures of you#Ok enough tag ranting#jeremy jordan#Anyways yes my friends think I’m crazy because I keep sending them progressively stranger things about winn
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what if?
#these are by memory.. sorry he looks a bit off#but what if fangs..#vampire..werewolf ..#maybe ill explore this further..with actual refs LOL.#my art#merkoart#fanart#tim wright#masky#marble hornets#slenderverse#quick phone drawings cause im too lazy to get on my computer rn AHAH
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I LOOK INTO MY EYEHOLES AND WHAT DO I SEE? (LOOK INTO MY EYEHOLES, TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE) I LOOK INTO MY EYEHOLES AND WHAT DO I SEE?
^ looping gif version, but it's missing some things
#shovel knight#plague knight#video#gif#animated#(kind of)#(im almost certain that the video version will loop on some peoples ends but it doesnt for me cuz of my extensions :P)#artists on tumblr#(my computer's memory got ''too high'' or something when i was trying to make the longer version into a gif 🙄 smh)#no id
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Headcanon that at some point, when they are like 27/28 Gauntwood goes on like a 1 month "vacation" without any of the staff. It will be nice to be truly alone together. They rent a cabin that is a bit isolated, not to far form markets and such.
However, they forgot to account for the fact that they don't know how to take care of themselves:
Day 1&2
Going alright, they brought a few meals with them.
they are free to love each other openly in this private place, this place is beautiful and they love it!
except when they go to bed, they note that the bed had not been made that morning. This is never properly resolved. There are a few attempts to make it, but they resign themselves to a poorly made (mostly an unmade) bed
Day 3
Prepared meals are gone. they go to the market, They have a fun time.
Sidney has no doubts they can figure it out, Henry is like, "Have you ever cooked a chicken before?"Well, no, but I used to watch my mum do it when I was a kid," Henry has absolute faith in his husband because he's an idiot
“So we just put it in the oven? The chicken and the veggies?" "Yeah that's how my mum did it!" (They are making roast potatoes, carrots, and chicken)
they didn't use any seasonings, butter, or oil, the chicken is overcooked, so dry and plain. The potatoes and carrots are too hard and burnt at the same time.
"Sidney, I love you, but this is disgusting."
“No, you're right. If you stop loving me, I'll understand."
they end up picking through it just eating the least inedible parts it's not a lot, and they eat a lot packaged snacks that night
Day 5
Henry has a brilliant (terrible) idea, he's going to make them breakfast, eggs, and lamb sausage.
Sidney comes into the kitchen when there is smoke everywhere
they put out the smoke, and the (unseasoned) eggs are burnt to the pan.
"WHAT is going on!!!" "I was uhh... making breakfast..."Why did you cook it so long?" "Excuse me, I didn't want us to get salmonella!"
For dinner, they plan to make pasta. Together, this is going to be a team effort. Henry immediately puts the dry noodles in a pot and no water, Sidney stops him.
They call Maud, and she laughs at her useless brother and his husband but agrees to help
"Okay now you'll wanna add any veggies to the sauce" "veggies...?i didn't get any" "okay skip that, just add your seasonings" "seasonings?" "Okay... it gonna be a bit plain"
"Why are all noodles sticking together weird?" "Did you salt the water like I said?" "Oh..."
S: what if we heat the water up twice as hot , then we can cook the noodles half the time
H: No, it will probably burn them
M: idiots you can't heat water past boiling
Pasta is plain, but edible
Other cooking mishaps:
Pasta take 2: no veggies again, goes way to hard on the seasonings, add like every single one, there is cinnamon in the pasta
Henry makes eggs(unseasoned) bacon and toast (only a little burnt)
"Henry, I love you so much, and this is so sweet, but I don't eat pork"
"Oh god! I knew that! The butcher was just looking at me, and I panicked. " Henry is about to cry
Sidney spends way too long slicing (mutilating) a loaf of bread with a meat knife
Cleaning
By day 3 all of their clothes are wrinkled because they don't know how to iron and they didn't pack them well
It fine they are mostly being seen by just each other, but it makes them feel icky
At the market a woman is looking at henry, and he get insecure and just tells her unprompted that his wife is too sick to iron
By 2 weeks in they have no clean clothes
S: What if we just sent it all to the dry cleaner
H: You wanna send our underwear to the dry cleaners? No we are supposed to be learning this, we are living a simple life
S: What if we were just naked from now on
Back on the phone with Maud, they learn how to wash clothes. They have pasta stained clothes they can't fix. Clothes are wearable again, still wrinkly :(
They wash no dishes for the first 4 days, it's a terrible mess. It takes 15 min to scrub the burnt pan because they didn't realise they can soak the bad dishes
The whole place is a bit dusty by the end
Fun stuff
There is a lake on the property and they go skinny dipping
They fish (and successfully cook it over a fire)
Stargaze: “hey did you that constellation [insert greek info dump]” nerd
Ellwood convinces Gaunt to dance with him
They play card games
They get to be domestic without any prying eyes
Overall, they had a great time! They picked up some novice-level skills along the way and, despite the chaos, they’d be willing to try this again in the future (and they do). When they get back they are this close to kissing Luis on the mouth.
#posts by me#they want to cosplay plebs but they are incapable#gauntwood being domestic#gauntwood headcanons#headcanon#inaccuracy? girl mind your business#i open tumblr on computer to write this cuz it was getting unmaginable#i have to write all my thought or some will feel left out#they love luis so much#and all their staff#useless gays being useless#in memoriam alice winn#henry gaunt#sidney ellwood#alice winn#gauntwood#in memoriam#in memoriam by alice winn#maud gaunt#they owe maud their life#almost literally#i say they do it again#because this definitely one of those thing where it was terrible but like it made a great story and memories are fond and you did have fun#so fuck it were doing it again#but not for atleast 6-10years#maybe im too nice#they probs have ptsd stuff ruining the vibe in general but i ignore that so i can enjoy life#i dont think keeps kosher i think he just doesn't eat pork - his mother didn't keep it in the house and this just sticks with him#confusing feelings about being jewish are back for ellwood
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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if you're wondering how ridiculous and detailed my qcellbit lore doc is this is just a tiny section ^^ i keep detailed notes on every day cellbit logged on and everything remotely important that happened yes it is way too much but i have problems in my brain
#bell.txt#may 17th esp so much shit happened the night before so im like taking down DETAILED notes about dappers death#and all the stuff with luzus computer (moments of all time frfr)#and aside from lore stuff im also taking down exactly how the arg stuff works bc the only record of a lot of it#is cellbit's vods and also its so cool and interesting i want to make sure i do it justice#like people archived some of the site stuff but not all of it#i went through desperately archiving tweets the other day like oh my gd i need to have these still#also this doesnt even factor in how much overall server lore info is just like in my brain and i'll have to remember to note stuff down#and track sources whenever i think of those events/enigmas/etc.#like luckily i have an insane memory for stuff like this#the other day i listed off an insane amount of regret stuff without fact checking and got nervous and looked into it all#and i had every single detail correct i felt way too powerful#anyway. a glimpse into my mind
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addendum that cannot be put in a nice way either: is self sufficiency in regards to technology just not being encouraged or taught or. or what. dear god. i learned how to pirate as a preteen bc i could not afford things. is this just another economic divide
#blue moon personal post#most of my computer knowledge DOES come from being too fucking poor to pay for video games#98% of my catalogue is all legally obtained. promise. giggles#oh and modding for games too#thats not just a computer thing either i learned how to jailbreak phones and load hacked apks bc i was too poor to afford things#fond memories of teaching an exfriend how to download an android emulator and load a hacked apk of the arcana#they were convinced their computer was going to fucking EXPLODE and theyd get KILLED
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Found a downloadable versions of the now-unsupported Jumpstart World 2nd grade Quest for the Colormeister (i totally spelled that wrong) and MAN the nostalgia
I might have to do art about it
#feather rambles#I think Jumpstart games were my first computer games#I had some kind of detective? one too#all cd-downloaded and everything#the one I'm replaying now required a membership for like 80% of it though#I think I only got to play through the whole thing once; maybe twice as a kid#brings back memories#we never had gaming consoles or anything as a family (I was always astounded anyone would pay so much money for a game thing still kinda am#so this kinda stuff is the games from my childhood#this and a couple typing games#one of which I played for so many hours one time I couldn't move my arms afterward I was so sore#taught me typing well though#and it was FUN
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thinking abt how much of my life i’ve lost to depression and i truly want to throw up
#day to day doesn’t feel like much but. oh no it’s been like fully a decade#i wish therapy wasn’t so expensive#bc for a while i was on meds (that. didn’t do much tbh.) but that made me feel like i was Treating It so i was making progress#spoiler alert it did not. and now the fact that i’ve wasted so much of my life is making it worse#bc everyone else i know has like. lives and people in them#and i pretty much just have my parents. and my mom is also going through it#i have relied SO much on them and that also feels bad!!! feels like i’ve taken advantage of them!!!!!#i know people talk about how much it messes w your memory but i figured it was short term bc the days all blend together#i literally had a moment yesterday where i forgot i went to college at all#the whole thing feels like a missed opportunity bc i didn’t do anything i wanted to really#i was too afraid to go to clubs that looked interesting. i didn’t think practically abt what i was studying#i mostly didn’t have roommates but when i did i was Bad At It#i managed to go through the whole time only speaking to like. three people#so you can see how it’s kind of. completely forgettable#i have worked jobs bc it’s a paycheck. never really enjoyed them never really made friends (even tho now i’m kicking myself for not keeping#in touch with some people) but i have always kept a very strong work/life division even in school#because i was there to do a Specific Thing so that’s all that matters yknow#anyway. sometimes i DO wish i could go back to high school bc even tho it sucked. it was structured#and i had resources and more time to try things and like. a life outside of my computer. a little bit#yknow. i feel like people have more sympathy if you��re anxious abt everything and never gone outside#when you’re 16 as opposed to 25
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"BLJ" actually stands for Biden Long Jump <isnt sure if youre aware of mario 64 speedrunning technique backwards long jump
and if joe biden was put into half life 2 he'd do an "ABH", as in: Accelerated Biden Hop
#ask#catboygirljoker#oh of coarse i know the mario speedrun tech#i was doing that shit when i was like 6#i cant remember how we learned it but id have to imagine either before or after learning about gamewinners dot com#we used that site for like. everything. especially when we were trying to find blue coins in mario sunshine#speaking of mario. im reminded recently of something didyouknowgaming brought up in a mario 64 video#specifically that the 1-up hidden in whomps fortress's tower behind the breakable wall#and they were like ''oh this was found recently'' (as of the posting of that video) but me and my family knew about it when i was a kid#i couldnt tell you how we knew but. i remember breaking open the wall as a kid through my foggy memory#also as for hl2. recently been doing another run on my new computer.#specifically another gravity gun only run. this time on hard mode just to make sure its possible for me to humanly do#which. i got past the part i thought wouldve been an insane roadblock for me to get past#i have a lot of fun doing the challenge. this is like my 3rd or 4th time doing it.#granted the first few times i did it. it was more me trying to figure out the least ammount of weapons to finish the game.#which my goals with the first few times was like... me just playing through relatively normally without too much speedrun tech#which mainly avoided doing prop jumping. only because i thought it wouldve been much harder than it truely is.#i am a little sad that if i do happen to stream my go-through of the run that it may not be as magical to watch with me knowing what to do#i dont know if id feel confident in streaming at any point in the future. im hugely self conscious#but anyway thank you for your biden tech!!! :)
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— 7
#mine#writers of tumblr#poetry#spilled ink#writing#okay to rb#poem#spilled words#tw: trauma#tw: csa#tw: sa#tw: rape#this is unfinished#wrote this when i was triggered and the same memory kept looping in my head and the same feeling wouldn't go away#had to get it out#but i couldn't finish it cause i got too upset and then the feeling passed and i couldn't get back in touch with what got me to start it#but i didn't want it to just sit in my computer and never be seen cause i think it could have been something good#anyway#how's the weather where you are?#it's so unpredictable here#literally boiling hot yesterday and freezing today#it's heading for summer which sucks. i hate the heat#hope the weather you like best finds you soon
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY @jann-the-bean!!!!!
you know i had to draw this lil precious baby again because my GOSH-!!! too adorable<333 (i believe she is capable of murder with how full of rage she is tho- gremlin behavior<;3333)
there's only so many ways i can say how much i adore your art and writings before i become a broken record because SERIOUSLY!!!! you are my biggest inspiration when it comes to writing and i swear if i hear you saying ANYTHING otherwise i'm breaking into your house no matter how far away you are cause i'm not tolerating such lies!!!! you are an AMAZING bean and i would hug you to death if i could >:'Dc <333
mocha belongs to jann
mobster au is both by @help-im-a-gay-fish and jann
#art#my art#gift#mobster au#mocha#mob!mocha#human!mocha#because seriously how can a human be so HUGGABLE#i wanna be her friend but she would be too cool for that</3#hhh xD okay okay but seriously if i catch you having a bad day- on your BDAY of all days!!- me and your brain's gonna have some problems-#my vocabulary is poor man idk how to tell you you're like. the most fantastic kind and supportive talented writer AND artist ever#without repeating myself!! you've heard all of these before but they're still TRUE!!! you're just!!! so COOL!!!#still remember the days before my blog and if i could describe what it felt like to be followed back by you it would be. insane#IT WAS CRAZY i was literally shaking!!! you absolute MASTERPIECE maker like name me ONE fic you made that you don't like-#and i'll cite all the things that make it a literal banger like don't try me!!!! i WILL bury you with love you menace to society!!!#i have so many fond memories of your past writings tho i think i'm just gonna re-read them once i finish my studying :')#just came back from school and i rushed to my computer to post this hhh >:'D please don't forget how much you mean to all of us!!!#amazing. you are AWESOME AND GREAT like always!!!!#happy bday mÖther- queen of angst and sweet precious boys >:'Dc <3333
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so was anyone going to tell me that apparently Mai Trin shared a piece of steam tech with Joon and she and/or her invocation were so deeply offended by her new employer calling it 'primitive' that she literally went out and retrieved part of a steam creature automaton specifically to prove her wrong, or was I just supposed to find that out myself
#my posts#Mai Trin#was going through the wiki again because i need to refresh my memory on Mai#and anyway this tidbit of lore is on Joon's personal computer if you input the correct password#she also describes Mai often seeming to struggle with things until she goes silent for a few minutes#... Scarlet was totally tutoring her wHEEZE#and apparently Joon thought the Commander might've shot her so that's. something.#the specific note in Yao's folder not to put them on a project with Mai is kinda entertaining tho#god the irony. they're too much alike that's why they hated each other that's my theory and i'm sticking to it#anyway. throws this into the word at almost 6 am because my sleep schedule remains broken af#eod spoilers#but only kinda ig
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Close to my grandma's age when she had my dad literally wtf
#*p#She gave him up for adoption good for her#Side note she is my favorite grandparent#Been thinking abt it a little more recently as I'm staying with her rn#Also rlly been thinking about how my grandma is losing her memory and whatnot but she is still just as kind and enjoyable as before#But when this happened to my (non biological) grandfather he was so fucking nasty. Hmm okay rant incoming once again just need somewhere to#Is been resting inside me for years and I think maybe I should just get it out finally so like don't read. I mean you can if you want but..#recently I realized that he hit my dad when he was a kid and so now I hate him hate him#My mom's always hated him too because of the way he treated my dad's sister versus him#She's so spoiled god#Once my mom told me how they both came to the airport and when my dad arrived he didn't even get up but when she arrived he got up#Before she even was there and greeted her with open arms like hmm okay#And the his computer screen savers was just a sideshow and ofc most if not all of them were her and not one was my dad#Back to the she's so spoiled comment she literally just took whatever she wanted when she came to my grandparents house#I'm not even kidding it was even their cars#Oh she took all of my dad's legos without a word to him. He wanted to give them to my sister so he went to find them and they just weren't#Like you couldnt have even asked ??Think she took his chess set too maybe. Yk lots of things like that#And this is kind of why I was born now that I think about it#My mom felt that my dad didn't have anything of his own so she wanted him to have a kid. Like she wouldn't have had a child if she didn't#Think that#Why did she tell me this anyway#I dint mind but I think lots of parents would not tell their kids that#But yk there are some things she could keep to herself. Like did I need to know where and after what meal I was conceived. No not really.#Wait no I'm literally in the exact room right now aren't I....#How did I get here in my rambling damn it I did not need to think about that
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of of the few things they don't tell you about growing up is that any song, regardless of emotional impact it had at the time, is something that can make you start bawling your fucking EYES out if you listen to it after a while.
#green spieling#i never really grew up too into it personally but this is about the old little big planet songs#specifically: Battles - Atlas#there's something about it that just. idk. brings me back#reminds me of the nights of my old shitty computer whirring in the dark#screen illuminating my face as i watch in awe of shark survival videos and those mortal kombat “recreations”#wonder if its less the music and moreso the memories attached then now that i think about it#dunno!
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my fav thing abt genshin impact is that it's basically malware but here i am still playing it
#im very sure it cooked the battery on my phone. played it on vacation and went from like 8 hours of battery life to like 3#its doing something to my laptop too but i think it's just overheating#like im losing wifi only while playing it and im getting bluescreens periodically#but it's never the same error and it always reboots fine so my guess is overheating or possibly a memory issue#i kinda want to open it up just to check if the fan is jacked#i got this laptop used so it might have been jacked when i got it but only genshin has been intense enough to cause problems#but also i don't know anything abt computers and installing a ssd was scary enough
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