#And he's got a ton of energy to push back if he's not thrilled with what Dipper's trying

[tswwwit]

Just a thought, but is bills "human form" 100% identical for every reincarnation? or is there occasionally a little difference?

It can definitely be different! The form reflects Bill, and he's a whimsical guy. No reason he'd stick with exactly the same shape every time.

[rubyinasnuggie]

Random Headcanons No One Asked For:

-Both Ruby and Weiss are left handed

--Yang was 100% prepared to tease them about it when Blake very pointedly uses her left hand to write something

--Blake is ambidextrous

--which makes Yang the only right-handed one on the team

--until the fall of beacon oops

-Ren is fully color blind

--once baby Nora figured that out, she made it her mission to explain to him what colors are based on other sensations (sue me I love this trope)

--she describes pink as the quiet comfort they share in each other's presence

--Ren finally sees color for the first time when his semblance upgrades, and he can finally see the pink petals with Nora

-Blake likes to climb on things and find random nooks and crannies to read

--it turns into a game of reverse hide-and-seek when someone needs her: depending on how urgent it is the entire squad will drop everything and look for her

-team STRQ won the Vytal tournament their first year, specifically Summer was the champion

--Yang was more upset about the disqualification than she'd ever admit, because she secretly imagined Summer was out there somewhere watching the tournament, proud of her babies

-Tai pulled himself out of his depression by gardening: having a routine helped him, so he encouraged baby Ruby and Yang to get similar gentle hobbies

-Ruby raises chickens at home

--she very lovingly feeds them corn and calls them her ladies

--Yang affectionately calls them creatures and cluckers and other such rude things to get a rise out of Ruby

-Ruby deeply wants a cow

--this is her one and only retirement dream

--although honestly she can never imagine herself living past her 20s

-Yang struggled with picking a hobby, she gets bored easily and hates the expected

--its only post-Beacon that she understands the benefits of a routine

--thats why she ends up with a ton of chores, just some structure to help her through the day

-Ruby will drink any type of milk, but Strawberry milk is her favorite

-Sun is allergic to bananas but he doesn't know

--he thinks bananas are supposed to be spicy

-Weiss loves sour apple

-Pyrrha loves chocolate almonds

-Yang thinks fish are creepy, she just generally doesn't love the ocean

--she thinks Neptune is a little clown though

-Oscar gets dressed by putting on his left sock, left boot, then his right sock and right boot

--RNJR made it their mission to interrupt him during this just to see him walk around with one boot on

-Ruby likes to bake, it's one of the few solid memories she has of her mom

--one night Weiss was feeling homesick and Ruby taught her how to make mug cakes

--"its probably not that good compared to your cake butler, but it's pretty simple, and I like them!"

--Weiss secretly makes them at least once a week, even back home in Atlas

-Weiss has taken flight lessons, at one point Ironwood really pushed for her to become a pilot in the military

-Blake has a field journal of the different types of Grimm she's encountered

--team RWBY & JNPR have spent several nights sitting in a circle talking and adding to the journal

--while traveling across Anima, Ruby sketched and took notes on all the Grimm she saw, just in case she ever found Blake again

-Weiss collects rocks

--no, not crystals. actual rocks

--shes rarely spent time in the real outside, but whenever she has, she picks up little rocks and puts them in her pocket before anyone can see

-Jaune never actually stopped writing left and right on the bottom of his shoes actually

-Weiss had never been allowed to paint her nails as a kid, she'd always get weekly French manicures instead

--by the second semester at Beacon, Ruby, Weiss, Nora, and Ren would have weekly manicure nights where they'd paint each other's nails

--there were several times they'd rope the rest of the teams into it, especially during the Vytal tournament where they'd write team names on their nails

--during the singles round they'd write Yang on one hand and Pyrha on the other

--"we couldn't make it fit without cutting one of the R's!"

-Pyrrha and Weiss became each other's default plus one's for fancy events, to the point people began to speculate that the two were dating

--Jaune was somehow jealous of them both and it was very confusing to him since he had poor self awareness

-Yang cuts Ruby's hair, but after she lost her arm she lost the fine motor skills to do a good job, so Blake started to do it

-Blake is always there to help Yang with her phantom pains and residual limb pain

--she helps massage Yang's arm while leaning close and purring

--Yang cried the first time Blake did this because she's not used to being taken care of

-Nora never gets sick and is the designated nurse when a bug goes around the teams

--the electricity incident was the first time Nora has ever been bed-ridden

-Weiss took ballet as a child

-Jaune is actually pretty good at the guitar

-Pyrrha is not musically inclined at all its a miracle she managed to do the iconic JNPR shine dance

--jk but actually she's a decent dancer when she has the steps choreographed for her but she has no natural rhythm

-in the last few months before Pyrrha's death, she and Jaune would waltz on top of the roof together

--there were several almost kisses

--maybe a few successful kisses who knows

-there are occasions (obv extremely rare) when Ren actually takes the bulk of the energy from Nora

--this leads to thrilling game nights where Ren makes multiple 40pt remnant-equiv-of-scrabble plays while Nora naps

-Oscar is the only person who can beat Ren in scrabble, although it's very closely matched

-Oscar is amazing at chess and will play it against himself like a little square

-Yang and Ruby are experts at the tabletop war game they play in the library

--9 times out of 10, the winner is one of them

-Oscar is the only one who also knew about Compost King, which was very exciting for Jaune

--Compost King is a common game night activity while they were in Haven because its so hard to say no to Oscar

-Yang is a straight-A student and has always been

-Blake never had any formal education and she finds a lot of the classes incredibly dull or ineffective at teaching the material

--she's always the one convincing Yang to skip a class and lie in the sun-warmed grass with her

--she still gets Bs easily

-Oscar is a very fast reader and will devour any book he's given

--his aunt would frequently bring home books from town just to keep him entertained

-Ruby has suffered from migraines and nightmares her entire life, post-Beacon they only got worse

-Weiss shops at local dust stores whenever she can, even though she could get shipments for free

--however she does have Ron Swanson's "I know more than you" energy when she's shopping

-Blake and Ren will sometimes take naps together

--not cuddling, just occupying the same general space

--wake them up at your own risk

-if Ruby isn't engaged with something, she can start to scatter and dissolve into rose petals

--its a very slow process and someone has always snapped her out of it before she's fully vanished, but Yang is worried about what would happen if no one caught her in time

-Ren is afraid of horses

-Blake hates being cold

-Yang naturally radiates heat cause semblance duh

-Weiss glued the tiniest gravity crystals to the underside of Ruby's bed to ensure it never falls

-JNPR likes to push their beds all together so they can sleep in one big pile

-Nora can only sleep if she's holding someone's hand

Hope u guys enjoyed! These are in no particular order, sorry that I kinda jumped around a lot 😅

Feel free to reblog and add your own ideas and headcanons! ❤

[kenjikutie]

That’s my Wife [Sakusa Kiyoomi]

summary: when you show up for your first day of managing the black jackals, your husband is less than thrilled with the attention you recieve from his team-members word count: 1.4k pairing: sakusa kiyoomi x wife!reader warnings: manga spoilers

with a grin on your face, you pushed open your apartment door, quickly pulling off your shoes and tossing them to the side. your husband would be home from the store in about ten minutes, so you had a little time to reflect on what you had just gotten yourself into. after pumping a dollop of soap onto your hands, you let them run underneath the soothing warm water, your lips still upturned in happiness

you had just agreed to a position as manager to your husband’s volleyball team, the msby black jackals. from what you had heard, they were one of the most talented teams in the circuit right now, rivaled only by the schweiden adlers. however, it wasn’t their rankings that made you want to work for them. the prospect of working with your husband every day was too good to pass up

just thinking about waking up together and getting to hear his morning voice while the two of you were getting dressed made your heart palpitate. even after being married for a little over a year, kiyoomi could still make your cheeks flare red with a single glance

hearing the door open, you quickly turned off the sink and dried off your hands, knowing that your husband would be less than happy if you greeted him with wet hands. you heard him call out for you and you inwardly cheered, rushing out of the kitchen to meet him

kiyoomi’s eyes brightened just a little bit at the mere sight of you, something only someone who knew him as you did would be able to notice. however, there was a look of frustration on his face, something else on you would pick out. you quirked a brow at him, continuing to wrap your arms around his waist and look up at him with soft eyes

he reached behind you to set his hands on your back, “i got a call from coach a few minutes ago.”

“oh, crap.”

kiyoomi pinched your side at your language and sighed, gently tugging himself out of your grasp. he sat down at the dining table, followed closely by you, who took a seat at his side. you carefully reached for his hand, interlacing your fingers together with a small smile

“you know how much my teammates annoy me. why would you want to put yourself through that?”, he grumbled and you could hear the annoyance in his voice at the thought of his team

you laughed, setting a hand on his cheek, feeling how he leaned into your touch almost immediately, ”unlike you, oomi, i actually enjoy talking to people. i’ve met them before, ya know? remember that night we all went out to the bar?”

kiyoomi did remember that night. he remembered having to carry you home after you had gotten yourself incredibly drunk due to atsumu challenging you to a drinking contest. he nearly killed the corn-colored blond the next day

with a huff, kiyoomi pouted, making you poke his cheek a few times with a teasing smile, “oh, come on, oomi! we’ll get to see each other every day and you never have to worry about me walking home alone. isn’t that a good thing?”

you did have a point. kiyoomi had always been adamant about you walking alone at night, or even during the day and made you meet him at his gym every day after practice anyways. maybe this was just a way to cut out the middle-man

“fine. but, you need to buy me a ton of umeboshi to make up for this, got it?”

“yeah, yeah, you big baby.”, kiyoomi stalked into the bedroom and you cackled, calling after him about how you were joking and how he had to come back and love you this instant

                                                                ----

your first day had gone off without a hitch so far. you had woken up with more energy than normal, your favorite breakfast place had gotten your order out quickly and you had been able to spend time with your husband all morning. despite, the constant deadpan look on his face, you could tell that he was happy to have you close

when the two of you got the practice gym, kiyoomi pecked your temple through his mask and retreated into the locker room while your attention was grabbed by their coach, who began to talk to you about where to put your things and what he would need you to do that day. you paid close attention to everything he was saying, not wanting to make a fool out of yourself on your first day of the job

as you began to fill up the water bottles, the doors to the gym slammed open, screams and shouts filling the large space, making you jump, nearly spilling water all over yourself

“ya are so stupid, bokuto! ya know that? ya ruined my chances with that girl back there!”, a voice heavily licked with an accent you didn’t recognize was the first one you picked up on

you furrowed your eyebrows as you watched the two adults chase one another around the court, followed closely behind a smaller, orange-haired boy, yelling at them to knock it off. with the coach nowhere to be found and kiyoomi still in the locker room, no doubt in the middle of his third shower, you figured it was up to you to calm the three down

the blond tackled the man he was chasing, dragging him down to the floor as the white and black-haired man yelped. you set your hands on your hips and walked up to the pile of fully grown men

“excuse me.”, no one even registered your voice and you rolled your eyes before walking over to the cart of volleyballs and chucking one in their direction

“hey! knock it off!”, the three of them stared at you in surprise, before the smallest one ran up to you, stopping just before he knocked you over

“who are you? i don’t think anyone else is supposed to be in here?”, he put a hand to his chin, as if in deep thought while he circled around you

the blonde chuckled and gave you a smirk, “must be one of ma fans, heh? sorry to break it to you, dollface, but, ya’re not supposed to come into the gym.”

“actually-”, the man cut you off with an arm around your shoulders

“ya are kinda cute, so if ya wanna wait outside then i can-”

suddenly, his arm was nowhere to be found. you glanced upward and saw your husband, looking angrier than you have ever seen him before, holding the man’s arm as if it was the dirtiest thing he had ever touched. kiyoomi looked down at you with a brow raised and you nodded, assuring him that you were fine

“what do you think you’re doing, miya?”, his voice was low and you noticed that the owl-looking player had moved several feet away and the small one was hiding behind his back

“geez, omi-kun, calm down, i was just tryin’ to getta fan outta here.”

kiyoomi dropped his arm and continued his glare before placing a hand on your waist, pulling you closer to his side, lip twitching upward as you rested your head on his chest, looking up at him with doe eyes

“this isn’t a fan, stupid miya. that’s my wife and for this day forward, your new manager, so i’d suggest keeping your hands to yourself and learning a little respect.”, you tapped his chest, attempting to switch his glare off but when that didn’t work, you turned back to the team

“hi! as i tried to tell you, i’m sakusa y/n, your new manager. it’s nice to meet you,”, you glanced at the blond, “not you.”

after being told their names, you assured bokuto and hinata that you weren’t mad at them, despite their begging and whining of apologies, volunteering to help you with any task you needed. you took them up on their offer and brought them into the storage room to get some help with items on taller shelves

atsumu and kiyoomi were left in the gym, beginning to hit some passes to one another, but the tension in the air was still clear

“your wife is hot, good job omi-kun.”, atsumu laughed, trying to break the silence

you swore you heard a shout before the resounding sound of a firmly spiked volleyball. with a giggle, you silently thanked your husband for helping you today and began to feel more and more excited about what your future with this team held

the end

[anonquack]

| Hands |

Alex Quackity x Reader, Oneshot!

Word Count: 1902

Warnings: None! Just some fluff.

Summary: A late night trip to the fair with Alex. One filled with tons of hand holding, rides, and a sweet kiss to end the night!

The cold of the night was nipping at the delicate skin on your face, and it was moments like these that made you feel extremely grateful for the clothes on your back. The numerous lights set up throughout the entire place didn't help to make the cold go away. His hoodie was the only thing really keeping you warm. The softness of it against your skin, the warmth it provided.

The same could be said about his hands as they reached out for your own, soon finding them and interlacing his fingers with yours. Your eyes immediately fell to look down at your now conjoined hands before looking over at him.

He had the prettiest, softest, smile on his face when your eyes finally met his. The tip of his nose was slightly red, notifying you that he was cold too, but it was a perfect night to come out to the fair. Perfect night to check out all the rides and ridiculously difficult games that gave the weirdest prices. Perfect night to be with him.

After a few moments of heartwarming eye contact, he finally tugged at your hand before beginning to lead the way into the fair. You let him drag you to wherever he wanted, taking this time to look around and really take in the beauty of this fair.

The lights were shining brightly, different colors adorning the rides, small shops, and food stands. Although it was getting late, the fair seemed to be running as if it was daytime, and the crowds were very telling of the fact that it would not be closing anytime soon.

As your attention focused back on Alex, you realized you were standing in front of a rollercoaster, nothing too scary yet not a baby ride. You knew he loved the thrill of rollercoasters, so you weren't surprised nor bothered by this. The line wasn't too long, you would most likely get on the next turn, and this allowed you to view what the ride would be like.

The cheerful and adrenaline filled screams told you the rollercoaster would be a good one. A small glance at Alex and it was clear he was looking forward to finally being seated. Another telling sign of this was the gentle squeeze to your hand, something he did out of excitement or as a form of reassurance.

Before either of you knew, you were seated side by side, ready for the ride to begin. His hand never left yours, fingers still intertwined with no signs of leaving each other's grasps.

"Are you scared?" You asked as you felt his grip tighten slightly, to which he scoffed. Of course, you knew he wasn't, but couldn't help and tease him a bit.

"Of course not. I'm just trying to reassure you in case you're scared." He said in a mocking tone as he let go of your hand.

You smiled at that but quickly intertwined your fingers back together, not wanting to lose the warmth he provided on this cold night. Before he could answer or give any reaction, you looked forward and braced yourself for the ride that was about to begin.

–

After multiple rollercoaster rides, you found yourself sitting at a table with Alex as you both enjoyed some of the food you've bought at the stands. He had wanted to try a bit of everything, claiming it wasn't often that you two would get to eat 'classic fair food'.

As you ate, you looked across the table at Alex, noticing the hair strands crazily sticking out of his beanie from the wind and the multiple rollercoaster rides. You reached over with your clean hand, gently fixing and tucking those strands away. He seemed confused by your actions before realizing what you were doing, to which he gave you a thankful smile.

Your hand lingered for a bit on his face before pulling it away and continuing to eat. He had been talking about how fun those rollercoasters had been, and you agreed wholeheartedly. Some you'd both been a little iffy in regards to how safe they were, but overall you two were having fun.

As you finished the last bites of food on your plate, you pointed at one of the games that was nearby. This caught his attention and he looked over to where you were pointing.

"I'm going to win you something from that stand. Whatever you want, no matter the difficulty." You declared, from afar it didn't really look that hard, but honestly these were mostly scams. Games that would get you to believe you almost won in order to have you continuously waste money.

"Yeah?" He asked with a raised brow as he looked over at the stand you'd pointed at. "Well, I'll win you something from that stand." He said as he pointed to the one across the one you'd chosen. "And it'll be even better than whatever you manage to win."

You playfully rolled your eyes at his challenging tone. "Why wouldn't you want me to get the best price? It's for you, afterall. Please get your head in the game, Alex." You stood up from your seat, throwing away the plates into a nearby trash before looking over at him. "Come and see what winning is like."

A direct challenge, and one he would not back down from. He smiled, throwing his trash away as well before following you off to the stand.

–

You'd spent the last 5 minutes trying to focus and better your aim. These balloons wouldn't pop themselves. Certain balloons would get you better prices, and you planned on getting the best of the best for him.

Alex watched, a knowing look on his face as he observed you concentrating before throwing the dart at the balloons. Surely enough, you had managed to pop enough of the balloons to earn you a prize from the row with the bigger plushies. You set the extra dart down, turning to look at him with a grin on your face.

"Choose whichever you want, the choice is yours." You pointed out at the row of plushies he could pick from. He smiled and took a moment to examine all of his choices. After a few seconds, he finally pointed at the one he wanted, and the employee took it down for him.

Before he could even try to win you one, your hand was holding his and leading him away and towards the large ferris wheel towards the center of the fair. There was small protests from him but he quickly shut up as he realized where you two were going.

Luckily for you two, there wasn't much of a line as it had gotten rather late, families worried over their children staying up past their bedtimes or being out in the cold for too long. You two had honestly forgotten about the cold since you'd been running around, adrenaline constantly pumping through your bodies.

As you two got on the ferris wheel, you sat beside him and he placed the plushie onto his lap. You smiled and gently squished his cheek in adoration. "It's like our child."

This caught him offguard, eyes wide as he turned to look at you before letting out a laugh, you couldn't help but laugh as well. His laugh was so contagious and he just exuded so much happiness at this very moment.

"Our child?" He questioned once he finally caught his breath, small smile on his lips as the ferris wheel finally began to move. You simply nodded your head, as if it was the most obvious thing.

"Yes, our child. It looks just like you." You took the plushie from his lap and held it up to his face, to which he gently pushed it away with a small shake of his head.

"It looks more like you." He said after a few moments. This caught you by surprise, not expecting him to play along with the idea of this inanimate object being your love child.

"It looks like both of us." You finally settled as you placed the plushie back onto his lap. He gave a simple hum before you two focused on the view. This was the beauty of staying up with Alex, and consequently being on a ferris wheel.

You were quite high off the ground. From here, all the food stands and other rollercoasters were visible, along with the people that were still around. The colorful lights were shining, leaving nothing dull for the eye to see. Alex was absent-mindedly staring out at the sights, fingers curling around the metal that kept you guys from falling off the pod.

As the ferris wheel came to a stop, you could feel your pod moving around quite a bit, which only made your stomach hurt a little. You looked over at Alex before realizing you were up at the very top. The view was mesmerizing, but it couldn't even begin to compare to how he looked at this very moment.

His eyes met yours again, a bit more tired, not as much energy, but still very content. The tip of his nose had remained red as it got later and subsequently got colder. His cheeks were flushed as well, making you wonder why he hadn't covered up enough if he knew you two would be out late. At the sight of his cold form, you reached out and held his hand yet again.

It seemed to be a recurring theme tonight.

His fingers intertwined with yours as he smiled over at you. An idea came to mind, and there wasn't much of a reason for you to not act on it.

You leaned in and connected your lips with his, to which he did not protest, gladly kissing back. You smiled since the shock was noticeable at first, but he had melted into it just as fast. You had wanted to kiss him at the top of the ferris wheel, with this beautiful view. Yes, Alex was the view. The fair and starry night contributed too, sure.

The kiss lasted for a bit longer than you had planned, Alex seeming to have grown energized by the contact of your lips against his. He only pulled away once the pod moved again, causing it to shake and stir the people around just a bit.

You smiled as you made eye contact with him, noticing how much more flushed his cheeks looked. God, he was so attractive. So pretty. He let out a laugh before shaking his head and avoiding eye contact.

"I can't believe you... initiating a makeout session with me at the top of a ferris wheel.. you're so cheeky." He seemed to be complaining but his eager kissing just a few seconds ago told you otherwise.

You let out a laugh as you came closer to him, wrapping your arms around his waist in order to seek the warmth he offered, and it wasn't long before his arm was wrapped around you to provide said warmth.

As you rested your head on his chest/shoulder, you couldn't help but feel relaxed. You were so happy with how the night had gone, and now it was coming to an end in the most perfect way.

You and Alex, holding each other close and enjoying the view and each other's company. You couldn't ask for anything else.

[luminois]

— 𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐧;

𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡, 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐨

𝐰: 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬, 𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 (𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐩).

𝟐𝟓𝟏𝟑 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬, 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫.

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭.

“s-stop touching me.”

“i’m not touching you. but maybe you wish i was.”

at first you’d hoped he’d been lying, when he said you were going to spend a lot of time together. maybe he just wanted to threaten you and enjoy the fear in your eyes. but hyunjin was exceptionally true to his words, for a demon.

he hadn’t left your side since the day of your first encounter, only leaving when you went to work at the bakery or when the night came and you needed to sleep. you refused to let him in the place you worked and lived in and hyunjin had respected your wishes. which was surprising, according to what you’d been taught about his kind. you expected him to not take your words into consideration at all but so far the demon had been anything but evil. surely flirtatious and malicious in every way, trying to make you sin and reveling in how scared of him you still were, but not vile.

for weeks now hyunjin had waited outside your door in the morning, greeting you with that sly grin of his before following you around as you went on with your day. one couldn't have described him as a lost puppy, though. he walked next to you but a step back, towering over you with his hands shoved in his pockets and red eyes barely leaving the space between your shoulder blades to look straight ahead. you wondered if he was waiting for your wings to suddenly start to grow or just pondering about your most vulnerable spot.

his walk was sure, steady as if he was the one leading the way, and the dark energy radiating from him kept you walking on your toes. sometimes he showed up with red bite marks on his neck or with bruised knuckles or a split lip, at times it was all of them together. you’d thought about asking him what he got up to when he wasn’t with you but in the end you never did. the demon never seemed to have anywhere to be, so you figured he entertained himself with casual mischief you didn’t want to know about. his favorite pastime, however, were surely you.

you felt your cheeks start to burn as you looked back at him. you could swear you’d felt his touch on your back, but his hands were in his pockets as always. you’d been walking closer to each other that day. you told yourself it was all hyunjin, but the truth was that you felt colder than usual and you’d quickly found out that nothing could compare to the warmth coming from him.

“what happened, angel, cat got your tongue?” he said, his fingers now actually brushing the bare skin between your skirt and the hem of your shirt. you flinched away as if you’d been burnt and he chuckled. “it’s not a sin to let other people touch you, you know.”

“it is if the one doing the touching is you,” you muttered.

you walked faster to further the distance between you and him, but the cold clawing at your skin had you hugging yourself and rubbing your arms for relief.

“you’re cold,” hyunjin said, more an observation than a question.

you turned to answer him but your words were instantly replaced by a gasp. with one stride he’d reached you, and with a swift move of his hands he turned you around by your waist. his warm palms sent shivers down your spine, but what made you gasp was the way your skirt had shown what was underneath in the turn.

you glanced around, shame making your cheek turn scarlet red, before hyunjin held you close to his body, forcing you to look at him only.

“the street is empty, angel, nobody saw anything.”

your palms weakly pushed at his chest, trying to get away but aware you couldn’t win against his strength. “how do i know you’re not lying?”

“i wouldn’t gain anything from it,” the demon said, subtly smoothing down the fabric of your skirt. “it would be way funnier to make you believe someone saw the cute, pink little panties you’re wearing, but i’m a gentleman.”

you pondered his words and, against your better judgment, chose to trust him and his seemingly flawless logic, letting yourself relax in his hold. hyunjin’s embrace felt like basking in the sun, his arms gentle flames caressing your skin. you forgot who was holding you as his fingers weaved through your hair, but then realization hit you and you almost hit his chin with how fast you looked back up at him. your widened eyes met his smirk, and your words sounded defeated.

“you saw them, didn’t you?”

“the strawberry pattern is absolutely adorable, but i’ll have you know that my taste is a tad different.”

you could feel your heartbeat in your cheeks from how warm they were, and you’d never felt more embarrassed than in that moment. you tried to get out of his arms again, warmth be damned, and your frustration started getting pent up at how weak you felt when he didn’t budge an inch.

your hand was on his cheek before you could stop it. you covered your mouth with that same hand as you watched his skin become an angry red. the slap had resonated in the quiet street and rendered you both speechless, and now the silence was weighing heavy over you.

for the first time since you’d met him, hyunjin looked surprised, a change from his usually unbothered demeanor. if you’d been scared of him before now you were terrified, shaking like a leaf under his widened eyes and parted lips. what was he going to do to you? all you had against him was yourself, and your delicate human form didn’t offer anything useful in that situation.

wrath. you’d let that first sin take over you and your punishment was looking down at you, with shining red eyes and bruising touches. you silently asked for forgiveness, hoping someone would hear you, and waited.

and then the demon smiled. genuine, thrilled. perplexed, you watched the stamp of your palm become visibly painful and hyunjin’s smile grown at the same time. he looked like a maniac, but the enthusiasm written on his face made him beautiful, too.

“that felt good, right?” he said, now holding on tight to your arms, nodding to himself. “that’s what freedom feels like.”

you gaped at him, trying to get some words of dissent out while you feverishly shook your head. because it had been liberating, and the way your palm was still pulsing from the hit made you feel pleasantly warm, and now you had to choose between lying and admitting you wanted to feel that adrenaline again.

“sorry, am i interrupting something?”

hyunjin looked away from you and towards the source of that voice, which to you sounded blissfully similar to one of a savior angel. you pushed him away and turned around to smile at the newcomer, holding down your skirt.

“not at all! just a friendly conversation, that’s all,” you said, stepping closer. “do you need help?”

the person’s eyes traveled from you to hyunjin, who hadn’t moved at all, back to you again. the redness on hyunjin’s cheek was hard to ignore and you couldn't know if they’d actually seen it happen.

“i do,” they said, still unsure about the whole situation but feeling strangely relieved by your smile. “i’ve been told you help people and i could really use a piece of advice right now.”

“absolutely! i’m always here to help.”

they offered you a small smile and fiddled with their hands, visibly nervous. “there’s this friend of mine who’s really busy and often asks me for help with things like cleaning her house when she’s at work and running some errands for her. i really have no problem helping her out, but i guess somewhere along the way she started demanding i help her instead of asking, and now she gets mad when she comes home and i haven’t cleaned or cooked something for her to eat. i don’t want to lose our friendship, but it’s like i’m working for her for free and it takes time out of the things i need to do for myself, too.”

“i’m sorry that’s happening,” you said, trying to reassure them with a gentle hand on their shoulder. “have you tried talking to her about it, saying that you think it’s unfair and she should stop?”

“i’ve tried to bring up the subject but she just starts to talk about how she’s so tired from her job and it makes me feel awful.”

“maybe you can try again and-”

behind you, hyunjin scoffed loudly, cutting you off. you turned around to glare at him. “i’m sorry, do you have something to say?”

“i do, actually.”

hyunjin walked closer until he was standing next to you, looking down at the stranger with a smirk, making them blush and fiddle with their hands again. “this friend you talk about and do so much for isn‘t your friend at all, sweetheart.”

“hyunjin!” you hissed, the person’s face falling at his words, but he ignored you.

“she’s manipulating you into doing all this stuff for her, gaslighting you when she doesn’t get what she wants, and she doesn’t even thank you for it.”

“how do you know…”

“i’ve met tons of people like her,” he said, now turning to look at you, “and asking them to stop politely isn’t going to work.”

“it could! kindness always pays back.”

“it won’t, and kindness is what got them in this situation in the first place.” hyunjin turned back to the stranger, chuckling at their confused expression. “listen to me sweetheart, a hungry man either learns how to fish or starves to death. use an excuse to stop doing all of this shit for her and in a matter of days she’s going to do it herself, you don’t work for her unless she starts to pay you. and if she keeps being a pain in the ass, start using sugar instead of salt when you cook for her, accidentally set her couch on fire, be incapable on purpose and she’ll beg you to stop ‘helping’.”

you watched horrified as the person weighed his words, actually taking them into consideration, and tasted anger. it was a bitter feeling, clawing at your skin and making it impossible to think clearly. you couldn’t find anything to say to the person to make them forget about all the unreasonable suggestions the demon had given them, and the pent up frustration made your hand ache to hit hyunjin again. instead, you planted your blunt nails in your palms and glared at him.

“that’s nonsense, how could lying and causing trouble on purpose fix their friendship?”

hyunjin rolled his eyes. “when’s the last time you’ve had a friend, angel?”

“what’s that got to do with anything?!” you said, pushing away the thought of your existence in paradise. the answer to his question was that you couldn’t remember a time when you weren’t lonely.

“if you had any you would know that asking politely doesn’t work. what do they do once their friend ignores the problem again? keep asking until she’s so annoyed with them she stops being their friend for good? that’s how you lose people, not how you keep them.”

as remarks kept bouncing back and forth in this argument, where nobody was really willing to listen, the person who’d asked for help felt stuck in the middle. rumors had it that you were great at helping people, but the advice you’d given them didn’t sound like it would bring the situation anywhere. on the other side, this guy’s advice sounded like a solution, but he didn’t look very reliable and he’d earned a slap from an apparently really kind girl like you, so could he really be trusted?

you only noticed they’d left minutes later and glared at hyunjin as you heard him chuckle about it. “what’s so funny? they’ll probably go and ruin their friendship, and it’s your fault.”

“you’re what’s funny, angel.”

“excuse me?”

“maybe intriguing is a better word,” he said before turning around. “i’ll show you something.”

you watched him walk away, certain you were going to follow him. you blinked your confusion away walked fast to catch up to his long strides.

on the rooftop of the abandoned building, you could see most of the small city, a maze of streets who had once been lively. you walked closer to the railing, afraid of the height but too fascinated by the sight. it was an unsettling type of beautiful, you had to admit, but you didn’t understand why hyunjin wanted to show it to you.

“what does-”

“you’re looking the wrong way, angel,” he said and you turned to look at him, a question on the tip of your tongue, but all you managed to do was gasp.

the demon was leaning on the staircase’s wall, a smile playing on his lips, and behind him a graffiti that filled the entire wall. angel wings, so detailed they seemed real, too similar to the ones of real angels to have been made by a human. there were some particular aspects of real angel wings that the human depictions had failed to grasp, but not this one.

you took slow steps and reached out your hand, mesmerized as your soft fingertips came in contact with the rough wall. hyunjin’s eyes followed your every move.

“who made this?” you asked, unable to tear your eyes away.

“humans, but the drawing is mine,” he said, smile widening when you looked at him, surprised. “when i met them they were artists without inspiration, but this helped.”

“you’ve seen an angel’s wings before?”

“i’m a century old, little angel, there’s very little i haven’t seen yet.” the demon twirled a stand of your hair around his finger and then gently pushed your shoulders until your back was against the wall. “but you’re the first angel i’ve ever seen slapping somebody or raising their voice, i didn’t think creatures like you existed.”

“you’re rubbing off on me,” you muttered, warmth spreading in your chest as he chuckled and caressed your cheek with the back of his hand, before stepping back.

walking backwards, hyunjin crouched down to take in the sight of you, in the middle of the graffiti, the wonderful wings looking like they were coming out of your back. “i wish you could see how beautiful this crime looks right now.”

right, a crime. a graffiti that had ruined a public property. but then how come you felt like it made it better? a plain, sad building nobody cared about had been turned into art. how was this hurting anybody, how could this be considered a sin?

“i think… i think this crime makes me happy.”

hyunjin smiled, and you heard his words in the back of your mind. this is what freedom feels like.

do you want to read more?

banner by @blueprint-han

taglist: @sleepylixie @bobateastay @meiiyue @aliceu @softieyn @riel-precious @witchylixie @tulipsandfire @sparklemin @anskiie @tpwkjerii @blackkacchan @fournia @parachuuuus @inlovewithasa @skzshortcake

[jypbae7]

Could you do a breakdown natal chart for Kun from Wayv?

QIAN KUN - NATAL CHART

Kun was one the most requested I got which was a pleasant surprise!!❤️❤️

(Not claiming to be an expert this is just for fun please don’t take anything too seriously!) Hope this is helpful and that you enjoy it 🥰❤️

Personality: Capricorn Sun, Leo Rising, Taurus Moon, Capricorn Mercury, Capricorn Mars

Clearly a LOT of Earth sign placements but nicely broken up by the fire sign rising

Capricorn Sun has serious and long term plans for the kind of future they want for themselves and once they set out for it they seldom give up. Stubborn to a fault, but also consistent enough to actually persevere. They want the perfect job, reputation, partner, house, family, etc.

Leo rising is a bright, warm and outgoing personality. Lots of energy, creativity and flair. They enjoy having a strong core of friends that they feel understand and enhance their experience and effect on the world. Leo’s are known for being hardworking and as a fixed sign it offers a lot of consistency and determination. They are extremely devoted and loyal once they develop a bond and trust with someone. Though the passion can fizzle out quickly if they aren’t feeling the kind of attention and passion they want.

Taurus Moon is a very grounded person with more social charisma and approachability than Capricorns are known for. They also have a tendency to like bold styles, they have big dreams and goals and you’ll be surprised at how well they can attain them if they’re focused enough (Kun is a Capricorn Stellium so yes this boy KNOWS how to get shit done when it needs to be done) Taurus is also a fixed sign which along with the stubbornness everyone knows about also comes with patience and consistency making them really good leaders when added with their natural friendliness and perseverance

Capricorn Mercury indicates a strong preference for structure, somebody who tends to follow rules and feels uncomfortable breaking them. They tend to have authoritative energy and demeanor. Big ambitions and determination to succeed and excel in their chosen career. Spend more time thinking than they show with a generally very logical mind which can sometimes lead to a black & white perspective

Capricorn Mars - responsible, organized, secretly a thrill seeker, can come off as aloof or guarded when they are around new people or people who they really want to make a good impression on.

Relationships:

Non-Romantic Relationships: Capricorn Sun, Taurus Moon, Leo Rising, Capricorn Mercury, Capricorn Mars

Trustworthy and dependable - the “dad” of the friend group who everyone calls when they have something serious to deal with

Platonic love languages: acts of service and quality time - he loves spending time with people with shared interests especially music. Also loves going out to different places such as different trendy cafes, movie theaters, museums - you name it.

Likes other thrill seekers who push and motivate him to get out of his comfort zone

Sense of humor is a lot more childlike and playful than one would expect from his serious and strict side

Capricorn energy is NOT to be crossed or messed with. These are the ones who are calm af and calculated when angry - this is when you know you are screwed. When Capricorn is calm and collected while enraged, ohhh boy, do they figure out ways to hurt you in the smoothest and most effective ways without so much as lifting their finger. Spare yourself the trauma and DO NOT LIE to him no matter what.

Romantic relationships and preferences : Aquarius Venus, Capricorn Mars, Capricorn Juno, Aries Eros

Aquarius Venus is outgoing, friendly and charismatic. They are attracted to interesting and unique people who stand out of the crowd. They like bold and spontaneous gestures and they will do them back for their partner as well.

Aquarians also dislike overly clingy/needy partners which Capricorn also isn’t a fan of either. These signs are all about independence, individuality, personal expression and achievement. Meaning that while they do yearn for a partner (especially Capricorn placements) they want a partner who is self sufficient and independent with their own hobbies, careers, dreams, goals, etc.

Capricorn Juno implies they’ll be a tough to nail down for very long because Capricorn wants only the best of everything and they’re always busy trying to excel at things and scoping out their options. So you’ll have to prove your worth to them before they are willing to commit because once they do it’s for the long haul

Capricorn likes natural ethereal beauty while Aquarius likes the bold - my guess is healthy mix of both. Natural looking and soft featured with some bold/unique traits like bright/bold hair or fashion style, a bit of spice/sass here and there is another secret pleasure

Be prepared for endless serenades and songs made and sent to you like love letters - whether he’s singing or composing a warm ethereal instrumental for you, his whole heart is in it

Love languages (most to least) - words of affirmation, gift giving, physical touch and quality time

Words of affirmation makes him feel really wanted and needed, he’s also really really good at giving it out to people he loves so if he’s doing it one sidedly it would hurt him and make him feel insecure.

Gives either unbelievably beautiful luxe gifts or unique/fun gifts and loves to surprise his partner with them often especially after time apart

Capricorns HATE wasting time they are hyper aware of how many hours in a day and how much can be done in a day. So, if he’s spending a lot of time with you, you’re very very special and important to him and he prioritizes this time very highly

Star gazing dates, beach dates, camping trips - this man will go out of his way to make sure every date is an experience. He is PREPARED, he has an itinerary in his mind, he’s looked up the travel routes and picked the best one. When you go camping he will FLEX with his efficiency and ability to handle the labor heavy tasks. This man will purposely wait till you’re looking to start chopping wood (not that ANYONE is complaining), put the tent up and have it filled with blankets and pillows galore in 2.00034 seconds because he practiced in the dorm living room with the others like a drill routine. (Lucas taught him how to chop the wood & still look hot while doing it)

Is the MOST polite and endearing person to your family and friends. Goes above and beyond to be the perfect partner around your family and they are unable not to LOVE him. Is especially soft and doting of any children or elderly relatives. And none of it is phony at all, he doesn’t know anyway else to even think. Respect, manners, and family are extremely important to Earth signs. They’ll probably end up liking him more than you but honestly you can’t even blame them

(None of y’all ungrateful people better ever slack on Zaddy Kun’s visuals ever again!! If I don’t get to see his happy trail during 2021 I’m burning the SM building down once and for all)

18+ Preferences:

Aries Eros ooof - passionate, possessive and steamy. Pick their partners off instinct and energy - once they really like you they become infatuated and want to STAY that way. If it’s not the “I need you so fucking bad I’m gonna lose my mind” type of love they DON’T want it.

Leo Rising is a possessive as fuck placement thankfully when they get riled up or jealous they have the confidence not to get angry with you or insecure about it. BUT.... you‘ll still be awakening a whole new type of beast and quite frankly he will let you know that it’s all your fault as he holds you down and uses you like the stupid toy you are till you remember who you belong to

If he sees you doing anything even remotely domestic his Taurus Moon and Capricorn Juno will have his mind go from soft and warm thoughts to bending you over the kitchen counter and taking you right there without a care or second thought spared

Positions where he feels in in control are his favorite - he likes being on top of you, behind you and if he can pick you up and carry you while ramming into you best believe he will.

His favorite is position is missionary - likes to feel big and dominant he also wants to be able to see as much of you as possible and kissing you as much as possible from your lips to just about anywhere else he can reach. Will be staring at you 99% of the time with big smoldering eyes that don’t waver in the slightest. In fact if you give him eye contact back he’ll just be even more turned on

Now...this might be controversial but... Capricorn Mars usually suggests power play/dynamic kink - think rich powerful CEO who secretly fantasizes about being tied up and blindfolded. Not to say that is exclusively his main kink bc it’s definitely not, he is 100% mostly dom BUT with the right person he’d be more than willing and very excited to try it out - probably because they are always in control so it’s an adrenaline rush for them to relinquish it to someone else. Doesn’t necessarily mean an extreme level of being submissive even just simple restraints can feel very extreme for a bossy and in-control Capricorn

Aquarius Venus also likes breaking relationship “norms” and trying out new things. They are super fun and bright when happy so when he’s in love he’s in LOVE. Wants to sing about it 24/7 but is too stubborn to be clingy or needy. The type to smile during sex, especially when he’s on top of you or drunk. Don’t even get me started on drunk handsy Kun whining in your ear about how he just wants to sneak out of the party early.....bc I will genuinely never recover

Very vocal in the bedroom - gives his partner tons of praise. Completely loses his mind and is loud af when you kiss your way from his neck down to below the hips

Most of the time sex with him is more passionate than kinky, not lightening fast jack rabbit thrusts instead hard and deep rhythmic ones that make your whole body shake - Hungry makeout sessions, sneaky little hickeys where no one else will see, massages than turn into hours of love making, takes his time to hit deep and hard inside you, handfuls of your hair, gaspy whispers

When he is feeling more kinky it’s usually spur of the moment. In the car in the middle of a rainy night during a cancelled schedule or after an especially steamy date night where he decides to take you to a hotel afterwards

KING OF AFTER CARE (NOT up for debate) - cooks you an amazing meal afterwords or orders up a feast if he’s too spent to get up too, cuddled up in blankets watching a movie for the rest of the night afterwards.

[jaskierswolf]

Darling, Buttercup

Prompt: Reminds me of you Relationships:  Jaskier/Aiden Rating: E Content Warnings: Smut, butt plugs, orgasm denial Summary: On Jaskier’s birthday Aiden buys him a new present, and they can hardly wait to try it out.

A prompt fill for @dapandapod​ and a bingo square for @witcher-rarepair-summer-bingo

It was Jaskier’s birthday and he fully intended to make the best of his day. They didn’t have anything special planned, but if Aiden didn’t completely pamper him then what was even the point? They had been housemates for three years now, having met in the second year of university in the Amateur Dramatics Society. Jaskier had been studying music and Aiden was a chemistry nerd. The musician was secretly convinced that his friend had just wanted to learn how to make poisons. He just had this energy about him, a modern day assassin. Aiden assured Jaskier that he had never killed a man in his life, but Jaskier just wasn’t convinced. Still, he was a good friend, his best friend. 

They got on well, both incredibly flirty and carefree. Their drunken exploits were chaotic and Jaskier had a criminal record to prove it. His poor mother would be rolling in her grave. It was an easy decision to keep living together after university had ended. Rent was expensive and they were both broke. 

And if Jaskier had a tiny little crush on his friend then nobody needed to know. Aiden tended to go for men that were more muscular than Jaskier, taller, with arms the size of fucking tree trunks. Whilst Jaskier wasn’t slender, he was certainly no body builder. He was a happy medium, strong and yet lithe enough to still attract men that would both fuck him and let him fuck them. It was a terrible stereotype but people made assumptions, and well, he was also guilty of that on occasion. 

Luckily, Aiden was a very accommodating housemate. He didn’t complain about Jaskier’s stream of partners or the late night sex. Then again, on the occasion that Aiden had a friend round and Jaskier didn’t, Jaskier wasn’t shy about taking himself in hand and getting off to the sound of his friend fucking in the next room. He liked to imagine that Aiden did the same. 

They flirted all the time, but that didn’t really mean much. Jaskier was a natural flirt, it was practically his second language. He just couldn’t turn it off, and Aiden was so very pretty, long dark hair tied up in a messy bun revealing his undercut. His tanned skin was covered in freckles and the light brush of stubble on his cheeks was just so tantalizing. Jaskier wanted to touch. He wanted to feel the scratch against his calloused fingertips. God, he was so gone on the man, but they were friends and that was fine. 

Of course, their traditional birthday gifts didn’t help. Jaskier was responsible for about ninety percent of Aiden’s sex toy collection, and Jaskier’s drawer of silky and lacy underwear was filled with previous gifts from his roommate. Although, Jaskier wasn’t entirely sure if Aiden realised how much he actually wore the soft silky panties. He’d tried them on as a joke one day, but they’d felt so good against his skin that he’d never really stopped. Wondering what new pair he’d receive this year, Jaskier went downstairs. He already had a bottle of champagne in hand and he was ready to face the day. 

Aiden was flipping pancakes when Jaskier entered the kitchen. There were two champagne flutes on the side, and the table was filled with bowls of berries, melted chocolate and whipped cream, all of Jaskier’s favourites. 

“Oh this looks divine, darling,” Jaskier cooed, smirking at his own personal chef for the day. “Almost romantic.”

Aiden winked. “Only the best for you, my little lark.”

“Thank you, kitten,” Jaskier purred with a coy smile. 

The innuendos got out of hand whilst they ate, but really… whipped cream? Jaskier was weak, he couldn’t resist, and he knew for a fact that Aiden had used whipped cream before in bed. That thought made Jaskier shiver, his cock swelling in his pants as he pictured Aiden licking the cream from his body. He knew, he just knew, that the bastard was good with his tongue. Jaskier had seen the way his roommate ate a banana. 

But they were just friends. 

There was no need to get hard at the bloody breakfast table. 

“Presents,” he choked out before he could get too lost in his thoughts. “It’s my birthday! I demand presents, what delightfully pretty panties have you got for me this year, dear heart?” 

Aiden flushed, worrying his lip as he scratched the back of his neck, his fingers brushing through the short hair of his undercut. It was a nervous habit and one that Jaskier thought was adorable. “I thought we’d have a change this year.”

No pet name, Aiden must have really been nervous.

“Well, go on,” Jaskier said with a wide grin, waving his hand in front of his face. “The anticipation is killing me, and I’m really not getting any younger over here.”

Aiden laughed, still nervous, but Jaskier was thrilled to have broken some of the tension. “It is your birthday, old man,” his roommate teased, but finally produced a square box wrapped up in a rainbow. 

Jaskier peered at it suspiciously “You haven’t glitter-bombed me have you, kitten? I know I’m gay, but I really really don’t want to clean that up.”

Aiden raised an eyebrow. “Just open it, buttercup.”

With a giggle, Jaskier tore at the paper, sighing in relief when a ton of glitter didn’t fall out the box as he peeled back the tape. Inside was a rather sizable butt plug, making Jaskier’s cock twitch again. He felt his cheeks heat up and his tongue felt heavy in his mouth. Arousal flooded through him as he thought about working himself open, his fingers brushing against his prostate as he fucked himself, ready to take the pretty plug that Aiden had picked out for him. Even better yet, Aiden could prep him. That silky smooth voice cooing into his ear, filthy and low, watching as the plug filled Jaskier up. 

Fuck.

“I- hmm, I thank you. Aiden, kitten.”

Aiden frowned. “You don’t like it? It has buttercups on it, so… well, it reminded me of you.”

“Buttercups,” Jaskier repeated, his brain not able to form proper words. “Right, yes, my name. I like it, the plug I mean. Not my name. Although I do also like my name, I chose it. I’ve always liked buttercups and it’s just- ”

“Jaskier!”

“Buttercups....” he finished lamely. “Sorry, got carried away.”

“I can take it back?” Aiden asked. “I do actually have your traditional birthday gift if you’d prefer.”

“No!” Jaskier said too quickly. “No, yeah. I like it, love it actually.” And he really really did. The silicone was a pretty sky blue and covered in little yellow buttercups. The shape was pretty basic, but it was definitely a good size, bigger than the ones he already had in his collection. “I can’t wait to try it out,” he blurted before he could engage the filter on his brain. 

“Well, what are we waiting for, petal?” Aiden shot back.

The pair of them froze, staring at each other in shock, mouths dropped open and matching red faces. 

“Did you just…” Jaskier stammered. 

“I mean, only if you want?” his roommate asked, with a cock of his head.

Jaskier whined and practically launched across the table, knocking their breakfast to the floor.  Their lips crashed together, noses bumping, teeth clacking. It was terrible and they both pulled away to laugh, but it wasn’t awkward like Jaskier had expected. The natural chemistry that they had finally sparked to life as their lips met in a more skilled kiss. Jaskier was half on top of the table, trying to get closer to his housemate, whose hands were locked into his hair, keeping their lips melded together. Jaskier moaned into the kiss as he felt his heartbeat quicken, a warm rush of arousal flowing through his body. 

When they finally broke apart, they were both panting and red faced. Aiden nipped at Jaskier’s lips as they parted, a cocky smile on his face. “Drop your pants, and bend over the table.”

“Fuck, yes. Yeah, okay,” Jaskier stammered and slid onto the floor, pulling his shorts down in one smooth movement. 

“You- you wear them?” Aiden said, his eyes wide as he gazed at the soft pink silk that barely covered Jaskier’s cock.

 Licking his lips, Jaskier sent his friend a wink as he bent over the table just like Aiden had requested. “Of course I do.”

“Jesus Christ, Jask.” Aiden fled the kitchen, backing out so that he didn’t have to take his eyes off Jaskier until the last moment. When he returned he had a bottle of lube in hand, a hungry look in his eyes as his gaze roamed over Jaskier’s arse. “Why haven’t we done this before?”

“Less talk, more action.”

Aiden laughed, his fingers running under the band of the panties before he gave Jaskier’s arse a quick swat, not hard but enough to make Jaskier yelp as the unexpected hit startled him. He felt his heart racing as he heard the click of the lube bottle, every beat was pushing fire through his veins, and he struggled to stay still as his fingers clawed at the table. Jaskier shivered as Aiden slowly pulled down his panties, and there was the probe of a slicked finger at his hole. It had been so long since anyone else had touched him there, his last few partners being women that really had no interest in fucking him into the next century. So he’d been left with his own fingers and his toys.

It was a poor substitute for having a partner. 

One finger pushed inside easily and Jaskier whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut as he bit back a moan. It didn’t help that a litany of praises were falling from Aiden’s lips, cooing over how pretty Jaskier looked, how well he was taking that one finger, and when a second finger slid inside with the first, Jaskier keened. There was more resistance this time, and Jaskier fought to relax, but it just felt so fucking good. 

“Fuck, Jask, do you have any idea how pretty you look around my fingers?”

Jaskier snorted, pushing his arse back against Aiden’s hand. “Maybe you should take a photo for later.”

“Not a bad idea, buttercup,” his roommate purred, then Aiden hummed nonchalantly as his fingers brushed against Jaskier’s prostate, making him gasp in a broken moan. Sparks flew in front of Jaskier’s vision, his pleasure building unfairly quickly. “I wonder if you could cum like this, on just my fingers.”

He could. He knew he could but his cock was aching, leaking onto the kitchen table, and he was so very desperate to touch. “No, no.. please,” Jaskier whimpered. 

“No?” Another press against his prostate, another moan tearing from his lips. “Are you sure?”

“Kitten, please!” Jaskier’s voice cracked as wave after wave of pleasure rolled through him. If he’d known Aiden was this talented with just his fingers then he would have pinned down his roommate years ago. Two fingers in and he was already teetering on the edge of a precipice, a fluttering in his core. 

“Well, if you’re sure…” Aiden said cooly, pulling his fingers out and leaving Jaskier feeling so helplessly empty. 

“Hey, no.. I didn’t- didn’t mean that,” Jaskier whined. 

“Finish prepping yourself. I need to wash this.” 

And with that Aiden left the room, leaving Jaskier alone and panting. “The fucking bastard,” he hissed, “fucking knows what he’s doing.”

“I can hear you!” 

“Good!” Jaskier yelled back, grabbing the bottle of lube. He slicked up three fingers and pushed them inside his hole, groaning at the stretch. He couldn’t get the same angle that Aiden had managed, but it filled the aching emptiness from before and each movement of his fingers had him gasping for breath. “Hurry up, kitten!”

A hand on his back settled his restlessness, and he felt the press of Aiden’s lips on his shoulder. “Patience, buttercup.” 

Jaskier’s fingers were swatted away and he felt the press of something larger, the pretty plug with buttercups decorating it, the toy that Aiden had picked out especially for him. 

“It reminded me of you.”

Jaskier whined, his orgasm so close now that Aiden’s hands were on him once more, stroking down his spine so lightly that it was almost ticklish. Every touch fueled the heat at Jaskier’s core. He moaned and tried to wiggle his butt back against the plug, but Aiden held him still. One hand threaded into Jaskier’s hair, tugging and pulling his head back.

“Good boy,” Aiden purred, and the toy finally pushed past his ring of muscle and slid into him, filling him up so nicely. 

Jaskier cried out, “Fuck, Aiden, kitten, feels so good.”

He was a babbling wreck as Aiden pulled the plug almost all the way out before thrusting it back in. Aiden slapped his arse once and then pulled Jaskier’s panties back up his legs. “Happy Birthday, sweetheart.” 

“I- I… what?” Jaskier stammered, looking down at his cock, hard and leaking against the pink silk. “Aiden?”

His roommate raised an eyebrow at Jaskier, running a hand through his hair. “You can touch yourself if you want to cum now…”

“Or?”

“Or you can come to my room after dinner tonight, your call, buttercup.”

Jaskier swore and pulled up his shorts. He was so fucked.

[bonesandthebees]

Now, this is where things get interesting. Phil’s ‘ENOUGH’ has such parents breaking up their children’s fighting energy. You really went all Lut with the parental vibe this chapter. But more importantly. The possessiveness comes on full display. Hannah said that the princes are theirs and they will take that very literally. And boy does it show.

Techno immediately makes Puffy let go of Tommy cuz Tommy is His. He even has to show it by putting a hand on him. It’s a silent claim. Maybe to show Quackity since he doesn’t know what happens. But Tommy doesn’t shake it of, so he is either used to the contact. Or too scared to move. My guess is a little bit of both. Then Puffy explains what happened and the possessiveness comes in full swing.

It does not matter what the princes did. They could care less. What comes first is that someone touched what was theirs. More importantly, even, hurt it. Especially in a situation where it was completely unnecessary to do so.

This is also the first time we see them interact with Quackity. Given how cocky and comfortable he is in the palace. I think he usually holds enough power to be fine. To mess around. But given the scar that comes from Techno, he’s definitely scared of them too. And he’s good at reading people. So the second they turn on him he knows he’s in trouble. And he either didn’t realise the full implication of ‘Phil taking in stray’ aka putting Wilbur and Tommy under his protection OR his impulsive ass didn’t think about it in the moment because how dare someone he was provoking shove him (and maybe some activated trauma response from the scare that caused him to lash out?).

Then we get Phil threatening Quackity and dropping the all-important ‘Wilbur is Mine’. But also, their personal safety has the same weight as Phil and Technos. That's a very big upgrade. It reveals how much they care. How important Wilbur and Tommy are to them. Though I assume Phil and Techno are a bit soft and extra protective after the ‘whole, Themis doesn’t care about these boys a was going to let them be executed’ also the ‘grtting official confirmation that they are no longer Themis’s, but not theirs’ instantly went to their heads.

Also I was wrong it’ll need to be 2/3.

-🌲

the ENOUGH is literally such a parent move. Phil is just like okay nope we're not fucking doing this-

Themis has given them full permission to treat the boys as theirs. Phil and Techno have no problem with this shift.

Techno knows he can hold Tommy back better than Puffy could simply because he's the one who trained him, but you're also right that it's a claim thing. even though we don't see it a ton, you're right in assuming that Tommy is used to that kind of physical contact. he and Techno have bonded a lot offscreen, so it's tiny details like that that I use to try and show that development when my only lens is Wilbur's POV

lmao yeah whatever the princes did is secondary to the fact that what's theirs got harmed. it's protectiveness, possessiveness, and also a sign of disrespect on the palace itself. Phil in a way is the physical embodiment of the Antarctic Empire, so Quackity harming someone he considers to be his is tantamount to him spitting on the empire itself, and he's not thrilled about that

Quackity isn't stupid. He's cocky, but he also knows he has limits with Phil and Techno. however, the fact is that he really wasn't thinking when he punched Wilbur. it definitely triggered some bad memories for him, hence why he saw red and immediately decided to fight back. it doesn't matter who they are, he doesn't want anyone thinking he can be pushed around like that. however, along with physically threatening him, Phil and Techno do have other stuff over Quackity's head. their dynamic is very interesting and I'm excited to eventually reveal what's going on there, but while Quackity does have a reason for being as cocky as he is and he does wield a lot of power, he also could be fucked over in many different ways by Phil and Techno if they decided they didn't want to deal with him anymore.

the thing is, Phil and Techno have been pretty possessive over the boys for a bit now. ever since they started bonding with the two of them really. but now with Themis brushing them off, that only says "yeah, you can be as possessive as you want, their yours." not to mention, there are no other political leaders in the palace anymore. during the summit, Phil and Techno had to keep up a more hands off approach, but Quackity isn't a political leader. a lot of facades have been dropped, and Phil wants to make sure Quackity knows how important the boys are to AE.

[whisperingrockers]

would u. i dunno. perhaps articulate some thots on toh infinity train au 😳 if u can

HM. i will do my best. but...i dont really know how to organize my thoughts.  i guess i should probably just start with the characters and go from there, huh. also in this particular au these characters don’t actually take the place of tulip, lake, jesse, grace, etc- i think they’re all just there under different circumstances. 

Luz

okay so we’ll start with Luz because. she’s the main character, y’know. very important. i think the catalyst that brings her to the train is her mother signing her up for Reality Check summer camp because as a creative it’s just! disheartening to have someone you love tell you that you’re not going to make it in this world if you don’t conform to what everyone else wants. so of course when a huge mysterious locomotive suddenly pulls up to the bus stop you KNOW luz gets on, no hesitation. after all, isn’t that something right out of a sci-fi adventure novel? 

unlike tulip, luz is THRILLED to find herself on some unknowable train where each car is a new adventure just waiting to happen, where there are always new friends to make, new places to see, and tons of puzzles to solve? she’s made to feel like the protagonist right out one of her fave animes. 

also, really important to note that her number is probably tied to how she relates to the other passengers on the train. i feel like there’s an overarching theme in the show about how luz is going through a lot of firsts when it comes to interpersonal relationships, especially friendships, so i wanted to keep that going in this au- i imagine her number goes up when she finds her friends tapes and convinces them to watch with her because this is obviously the easiest and most straightforward way to get to know them! (luz poppin that bad boy into a vcr player: this mama is ready for trauma!) 

realized how wordy this is going to be LOL

Eda

hough so this is a human au also (i assume? infinity train world really do be existing in some limbo state of reality where your reflection can just up and ditch you). i see her as a jack of all trades, master of none type, with a lean towards perfumes and handmade soaps that she sells at fairs or farmers markets and also pickpocketing. i think she sees something that reminds her of the life she used to have/would have had before lilith [redacted because i do not know what she DID yet but on GOD we will have canon continuity] and that drives her to get on the next train headed anywhere.

her number is tied to how much she allows herself to open up; the more she uses her salesman cover to keep others at arms length, the higher her number goes, which is why it’s so important for her to team up with King and Luz; they help her open up and be more honest with herself.  

King

king is actually a denizen of the train in this au; i love him too much to turn him into a real ass dog, so i wont. eda meets him in a car full of plush toys, which he refers to lovingly as his army of the damned. i almost want to hold off on writing up any more for him because i know there’s more to king’s character than meets the eye. still torn between eda trying to bring him off the train with her or having him realize that the whole TRAIN is HIS KINGDOM, and all its passengers loyal peons who need their mighty rulers HELP, for without him they would PERISH.

for now though eda sees him and is immediately like get over here (reaching emoji) 

Willow 

willow is a tough one for me because in all honesty having your longtime friend tell you out of the blue that they can’t be friends with you anymore would be enough to send me packing to the train, but with willow i think it’s less about amity and more about how the fallout between them affects her social and academic success. the frustration reaches a tipping point that has her running out of the classroom and finding the train. 

and yes, willow is a very sensible, bright girl, but she was also SO ready to trick the principle and steal from the emperor for her friend so i don’t think getting on a mystery train is wholly out of the question for her, y’know? 

There’s a lot about repression in the way willow deals with things generally, so her number is tied to passivity. the more she allows others to infringe on her personal boundaries to keep them placated, the higher her number goes. when she stands up for herself to others (sometimes even her friends!) the number goes up. willow x agency and clear limitations is my otp

Gus

gus was actually a SUPER easy one for me we know so much about him from the episodes he’s been in; he’s an overachiever, he’s passionate about what he loves, he’s a natural showman, and he is constantly pushing himself to be the best that he can be, all the time. the hustle doesn’t STOP for gus, and i...i...(tears up) 

anyways, i think the thing that draws him to the train is getting suddenly ousted from the club he formed at school. he’s young, and having everyone you had assumed were your friends turn their back on you and throw you out of the space that you CREATED FOR THEM would be shocking to anyone, but it broke gus’ heart clean in two. after he’d picked his bag and himself up off the hallway floor, he’d left the building in a daze, not even realizing as he boarded the train door that had suddenly opened up in front of him until it was too late. 

i’m actually going to go so far as to say that gus would likely be the one MOST interested in the truth of the train- he’d be asking the tough questions, like what is the purpose of the train? who made it and its technology? where does it exist that it can be both at his school and also speeding across a barren desert landscape at the same time? How does it create sentient lifeforms? the train helps him discover a new passion; journalism. he finds a journal that speaks to him as a friend and advisor in one of the trains, and he takes careful note of everything that happens to and around him. by the time he meets up with willow, he’s got so many ideas and theories that the other girl would have never thought to consider until that very moment. 

idk what his number relates to because he’s perfect the way he is but if i had to take a shot in the dark it probably has something to do with finding somewhere he feels he can belong, as well as being able to mourn and let go of the people he’d considered his friends before he’d gotten on the train. 

sorry this is so long i just have a lot of . gus feelings. 

Amity ( + Edric + Emira )

lumping these whites together 

okay so nobody wants to hear me talk about blight angst there are 800 posts about blight angst, so long story short the three siblings run away, get into an argument with each other, amity ditches them for the train while they’re asleep, and the twins panic and chase after her, determined to find her because in the end they’re all they’ve got. 

‘next stop: amity blight’ 

i think it’d be a cool journey to see the three of them going from ‘we need to be together out of necessity’ to ‘we need to be together because we love each other, and that genuine support structure will pull us through when everything else fails.’ but in order for that to happen they all have to have their own journey, so at some point edric and emira finally get into a spat and that’s enough to get edric and emira stuck on opposite ends of a retracting bridge. send that mans to the BACK of the train. 

emira: my greatest fear is being stuck with edric forever emira: (gets separated from edric)  emira: haha wait please say psyche

amity’s number is definitely tied to her fear of failure, of not being enough for the people she holds closest to her- in this case her siblings, and then lilith, and then luz when they finally meet. when she acts without concern for what the people around her think and when she sticks up for what she knows is right, even when the majority is against her, her number goes down. 

for ed and em im...i don’t want to think about their feelings because they’re supposed to be clowns but i am forced to consider that they may be jealous of their sisters independence. also separating them means they both have to take responsibility for all their own actions and choices, which is probably pretty new for the twins. 

Lilith 

im out of energy actually znzzzsnsz uh. estranged sister who sees something that reminds her of the relationship she used to have and she’s not actually as over it as she thought so the train....she..hghrg

[wayward-mikaelson]

Love’s a Bitch

Word Count: 2543

About: You have a date with someone in IT. Steve is obviously jealous about it. When the date flops, you head back to the compound. You have a few drinks with Steve and the truth comes out.

Characters: Reader, Steve Rogers, Wanda Maximoff, Tony Stark

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings/Trigger Warnings: Language, Jealousy, Jealous Steve Rogers, Some Drinking, Sexual Tension, Implied Sex, Morning After

A/N: Mark from IT is a complete jerk just throwing that out there for anybody. Also, if you ever have a Mark like type date, throttle him hard and leave that boy behind. 

*This work contains content for the 18 and up crowd.

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The flight back to the compound did nothing for your upset stomach. Missions never upset your stomach before but this one seemed to get you in all the right spots. And it wasn’t even that bad of a mission, you’ve had worse missions before that have left you almost dead. The jet hit a small air pocket and the small drop had you holding tightly to your chair and hoping nothing came up and out of your mouth.

“You doing good?” Steve asked you. You looked up at him, his blue eyes looked down on you and you could see some concern in them. “You don’t look so good.”

“She trying to hold it all in,” Wanda’s voice came from the other side of the jet. “Horrible timing too. She’s got a date tonight with what’s his name from IT?”

“Mark,” you manage to choke out closing your eye and resting your head back on the headrest behind you.

“You have a date?” Steve sounded surprised. “You didn’t tell me that. You usually tell me just about anything.” Steve was right. You do tell him just about everything. But when Mark asked to take you to dinner the other night, you just couldn’t get up the courage to tell Steve.

“I guess it slipped my mind,” you opened an eye to peek at him. Steve’s forehead was furrowed some and it looked like he didn’t look thrilled about your date. “I also don’t need to tell you every single thing that happens to me.”

“I know that,” Steve’s voice was different. “Make sure your belt is tightened. We should be landing soon.”

When you got back to the compound, Steve made you go get check out for every head injury possible. You tried to fight it but Steve used the “That’s an order or you’re benched” card. So while you were being looked at, you couldn't help stare at the clock as it ticked on by.

Second after second.

Minute after minute.

Hour after hour.

Three hours later, you got the all clear and even the onsite doctor said that it was just an upset stomach. You rushed to your room and quickly showered. You decided to skip on shaving your legs and focused on washing your long thick hair.

When you were done, you quickly brushed your teeth and threw on clothes. Simple jeans and a nice looking blouse. You towel dried your hair and worked painfully to get the knots out. After that, you pulled out black ankle books and threw those on and didn’t even bother with a decent make up look. There wouldn’t be any time for that.

You opened your door and saw Steve standing right there about ready to knock. “Hey,” you moved passed him and he caught your arm. “What?” You pulled your arm back.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He asked slowly looking you over.

“On my date,” you said slowly. “Remember? Mark set up a reservation for six and it’s almost six.”

“I don’t think you should go,” Steve crossed his arms. “Not until you’ve been in the clear for twenty-four hours.”

What has gotten into him? You wondered. Steve never acted like this. “Are you okay?” You shifted on your feed. “You’re not really yourself.”

Steve dropped his arms and put them in his pockets. “I’m fine, unlike you. I know the doctor cleared you, but he could have missed something and I want you to be here, just in case.” You looked at his posture. It was straighter than usual. The way he looked at you with those blue eyes. They didn’t just look at you, they dug hooks into your soul.

You walked up to him and touch his arm. “Steve,” you said. “I’m a big girl. So if anything happens to me, you will be the first one to call. I promise.”

Steve starred into your Y/E/C for a couple of minutes before nodding his head. “Okay, you call me for anything.” You smiled and before you turned around you caught a hint of sadness creep into his eyes. You’d have to ask him about it later and pushed it aside.

TWO HOURS LATER

You stormed out of the restaurant as you pulled out your phone. That date was a mega disaster while running with a bright red flag. You scrolled to Steve’s number as you walked a good two blocks away from the restaurant just to make sure that Mark didn’t follow.

“Y/N,” Steve answered on the first ring. “Everything okay?”

You walked around the corner and spotted a bench. “I need you to come get me,” I sat on the bench.

“What happened?” you heard the change in Steve’s voice. “Are you okay?”

“I’ll tell you when you come get me, but yes, I’m fine-ish. I’m going to send you my location cause I have no idea where the hell I am right now.” You got off the phone and quickly sent your location to Steve.

You sat there on the bench for about twenty minutes. You watched the people walk by and the busyness of life around you. You didn’t want to think about the date that was disaster and no matter how many times Mark tried to text or call, it brought it all back. Even you blocked his number he somehow managed to try again with another number.

Just as you were texting Steve to ask how much longer he was, a slick black car pulled up next to you. The window rolled down and there sat Steve. “Thank God,” you whispered and got up and into the car.

“So, do you want to tell me?” Steve asked glancing at you as he merged back into traffic.

You took a deep breath. “There were a ton of red flags. He was basically one of those alpha male types with small dick energy. Started with a comment about my outfit and the fact I didn’t make time do to make up for him.” You used air quotes around that last part.

“What did he say?” Steve’s voice sounded hard. Probably a good idea that you walked a few blocks away from the restaurant. Mark may be been a dick to you, but you didn’t want Steve to get arrested.

“He saw what I was wearing he said and I quote ‘I made reservations at a restaurant and you chose to where that? it’s not even nice and what, no make up for me. just a really bland look for you.” You saw Steve’s hands tighten on the wheel. His knuckles turned white instantly.

“I think you look beautiful, Y/N,” Steve said keeping his eyes locked on the road. His hands remained tight on the wheel. “Anything else?” The hardness in Steve voice got even harder.

“Well, he did flip out when they said there would be a small wait due to how busy it was tonight,” you continued. “Then as we waited we pointed out all the nicely dressed women who dressed up for their dates or husbands and such. Then when we were finally seated we ordered drinks and he wouldn’t let me order anything alcoholic. So I had a soda and when I ordered the steak he said I needed to be eating a salad. That’s when I snapped and,” You looked down at your hands and let your voice trail off.

“And what?” Steve asked but you didn’t answer right away. “Don’t make me pull this car over to get it out of you.” Steve’s quick glance told you that he would be out for blood.

“He grabbed my wrist so I couldn’t leave,” You finally said. “I just about took the knife on the table stabbed his arm. But with one little threat about not knowing me and how I can make his death look like a suicide he got the point and I stormed out.”

Steve was quite for a few minutes. You wondered what was going through his mind. You anger flash in his eyes and you saw the deep breathes he was taking too. He was trying to calm himself down. “I’m sorry you had a crappy date,” he finally said. He reached a hand and placed it on your knee. You weren’t going to lie to yourself, his hand on your knee, it was comforting and you liked it there.

When the two of you guys got back to the compound, Steve’s hand was still resting on your knee. You made your way to the empty dinning area and grabbed the bottle of tequila and a glass. You poured yourself some. You took a sip when you heard Steve’s familiar footsteps.

“You know, I think I’m going to be done dating or trying to,” You said turning to face him. “It’s hard with a job like ours. I could end up dead with a bullet in my head or a blade in my heart.”

Steve walked up to you and poured himself a glass to and the two of you just leaned on the counter staring into space for a minute before Steve spoke. “I hope you don’t end up with a bullet in your head.”

You smiled and looked at Steve. “You’re supposed to say that cause you’re technically my boss.”

Steve chuckled a little, “What do you look for in a guy?” He asked.

You stood there and just stared at your drink. You knew exactly what you looked for in someone but you always went for the opposite. You knew that if you found that one person who checked off all the boxes and gave you that epic kind of love, it would scare you.

“You can tell me, I’m your best friend,” Steve nudged you and you realized you took too long to answer.

You turned around and poured yourself another glass. “This answer will require a little more juice.” You brought the glass to  your lips and took a big gulp letting the tequila burn your throat on the way down. “I look for someone who listens. Someone who I can tell anything and everything too.” You started to list off everything that ran through your head about the perfect significant other. “Someone who is there for me. Someone who looks after my well being. Someone who can make me laugh uncontrollably. Someone who will be my shoulder to cry on.” Stopped to take a breath. “Saying it all out loud sounds like a damn fairy tale. Fuck, finding love can be a real bitch.”

Steve set his drink down and turned to you. He slowly reached out and brush some hair behind your ear. “You know,” he said slowly. “I can fit just about all of those boxes. I don’t know about the uncontrollable laughter though.”

You laughed and then stopped when your realized that the all of what you just said were all the best qualities of Steve Rogers. Steve, the man that had to sit with you on nights like these complaining about men and the dating game, he had been all of those qualities. Everything about Steve’s attitude today made sense now.

You set your drink down and took a step towards Steve. You reached both hands up to touch his face. The stubble on his face tickled your hand but you didn’t care. Steve's hand that lingered on your shoulder, he trailed it up to the base of your head and pulled you closer to him while your pulled him lower towards you.

When your lips finally touched, it was as if your brain was sending electrical shockwaves throughout your body. You felt Steve’s free hand wrap around your waist and pull you tighter to him. He deepened the kiss by opening his mouth just slightly and letting his tongue softly run over your bottom lip. That alone made you moan and wrap your arms around his neck tightly as you let him in.

You pulled back for a breath of air. “We should probably take this to a room,” you said in between breaths. You noted the small smile on Steve’s face as he effortlessly picked you up bridal style.

He carried you all the way to his room. The moment the bedroom door was closed, Steve had you on your feet and back pressed up on the wall. His lips teased yours by brushing so lightly over them. “So after two years, the truth finally comes out.”

Morning After

You felt the warm sun on your face as you rolled over in bed. Thoughts of the night before filled your head and made you smile. You felt the bed shift and soon Steve’s arm was around you pulling you into his chest.

The feeling of his chest against your back made you think about how well your bodies moved with each other last night. You felt his brush back your hair from your neck and give a gentle kiss on your neck. It sent shivers down your back as you remembered how Steve kissed every inch of your body.

You turned to face him. He greeted you with a soft kiss made you sigh. “Morning,” he said pulling back and letting his hand rub down your back. His hand stopped at your hip.

“Morning,” You said back and snuggled your head into his chest. Steve rested his chin on top of your head. Being held like that, felt perfect and right. This wasn’t a man who wanted to fuck you just to fuck you and leave. This was a man who wanted to make love to you because he wanted to and because he loved you. This was a man who took his time with you, who wanted to make you feel just as wanted as he wanted.

“No regrets?” Steve asked. You could hear the smile in his tone.

“None at all,” you kissed his chest.

There was a knock on the door and it opened. Only one person in this entire compound did that. Steve took the blanket and covered up the what skin of yours was showing. The two of you looked up and saw Tony standing in the door way staring at the two of you.

“What’s up, Tony?” Steve asked, his tone as annoyed.

Tony took a few steps into the room and gestured to the both of you. “One, so glad this finally happened. Everyone knows by the way, mister who’s your captain.” You felt the rush of blood flood to your cheeks as you slowly hid under the covers. “Two, I took care of that favor you asked about. The one about the kid in IT. He won’t be messing with anyone anymore.”

“As you fired him right?’ Steve asked.

“Uh, yeah, that’s what I did,” you heard Tony’s retreat to the door. “I hope protection was used cause I don’t need mini Rogers running around my compound.” The door closed and you heard Tony shout down the hall. “Rhodey, you owe me twenty bucks.”

Steve removed the blanket from your face and dipped down and kissed you deeply. “We’re going to need to remember to lock doors.” You pushed Steve back and straddled him. “We don’t need anyone else walking in.”

[danielletinybruiser]

Two Years of Blue

It's been a bit since I updated here, since I suppose I mainly use my instagram account to talk about jiu jitsu. But hey, I have a few things to mull over, which tends to go better in writing, so here we are. Content warning for weight on this one.

I've been a blue belt for two years! And what a wild two years — I did change up my gym, and then, hey, there was this pandemic that ground the world to a halt (and is still doing so). I was very, very lucky, since I was able to train with Viki pretty much the whole time. We had access to mats, and were able to train, and they taught me a great deal: a lot of gi stuff, a ton of leg locks (I never went for them, or defended them well, until I basically just rolled with them for a year), and so much detail in passing and retaining guard.

Viki is a long, lanky blue belt, and I like to think I taught them a bit too. Maybe. 

But of course, even with rolling during lockdown and tons of other cross-training, it took me awhile — really, a few months — to feel a bit more in the groove with jiu jitsu again. We started going back to limited, vaxxed sessions starting in March, and slowly started going back to the gym normally as everyone else got vaxxed up. I'm finally going 3-4 days per week, consistently. This past week, I think I trained grappling every day aside from Wednesday. It's mid-July, which means it's taken me that whole time to feel like I'm getting there.

I'm also competing again in just under two weeks, which has (as it typically does) lit a little fire under me to get my shit together. Or attempt to!

One thing that did help, certainly, was doing a lot of cardio the whole time, and  focusing on getting that to a good place. All winter I did a lot of running, and yes, here it is... a lot of indoor cycling on a [cough, whisper] peleton. I know this makes me a bougie asshole. I know. But the workouts — on the bike and very much on the treadmill — are actually great. The running workouts with at least two of the coaches are appropriate for actual competitive runners. I've done workouts there that were extremely close to things I did as a competitive XC athlete in college. Back when I was actually fast. Fast-ish. I'm not fast anymore. Not even a tiny bit.

But my running is much improved, and the cycling has been an incredible, incredible base for me. I'm routinely doing longer or more challenging rides on non-BJJ days, and then often a shorter ride (or one of the functional strength routines) on days I roll at the gym. My whole thing with it is doing hard cardio when I'm already tired, so I get very used to pushing through. Endurance has never been my problem, but I know that I get slower physically — and, far worse, *super* discouraged mentally — when I get tired.

Doing this much cycling has had a hilarious and, uh, probably obvious side effect: I actually put on a little bit of muscle. I went into the whole Peleton thing thinking "yeah, I'll do cardio twice a day, and lose that stubborn couple of pounds that make competing at 125 dicey in like a month, easy!" and, HA. No. 

What I did get, though, are leg muscles that don't fatigue as fast. I have much more power and energy than I used to, and, hand-to-heart, I don't think I was in bad shape before. It's just... better now.

That took a couple of weeks to accept, I'll be honest. I felt pretty dumb: of fucking course spending... let's say 8 hours a week doing HIIT or climb rides on a bike would build muscle. I’d gain some weight from that, naturally. But now, I'm honestly thrilled to feel comfortable and much stronger at 135 anyway. 

That's where I was always going to be for grappling industries (where there's a 120 and a 135, nothing in between), and where there are 125 lb classes... it's honestly ok. I have a healthy diet, I stick to it rigorously (with the occasional cheat day, ofc), I do cardio almost every day, and I feel good. Will I be a little shortie in this weight class? Of course! But at least I feel like a stronger little shortie, and that's what counts.

As with all of this, let me be clear, I have no delusions of grandeur. This is an awesome hobby that I'm obsessed with! But I only want to compete to learn and get better and do it all on a pretty comfortable level. I'm probably never going to fuck with the open IBJJF tournaments, or anything like that. Give me a nice submission-only tournament for scrubs like me. (Honestly, I wish everything was just submission only. Forever.)

There are actual, legit athletes who use the baby tournaments for a tune-up, and young folks who may become legit athletes who are learning to compete and deal with pressure, probably just because this is NYC and there are world-class gyms here and all that. This 37-year-old goofy white bitch just wants to get as good as possible, given the obvious constraints. And enjoy myself.

To this end, my friends, coaches, and training partners deserve medals for dealing with me. Berto and Jaime (my friends and coaches) have been patiently leading me towards things I need to work on. Viki will roll with me and give me things I need to do based on our roll, and we'll drill them right then and there. And Caroline has been instrumental in me getting my head at least part of the way out of my ass, just going for things. For months, I was rolling, but just playing defense. Just talking to her about it helped, and now, every time we roll, I have that voice in my head telling me to go for things. It's helping.

I just hope I can keep that in mind in two weeks. I get nervous. Really, really nervous. I've competed... this might be nine times? This will be my third blue belt tournament, anyway, and it'll be the first since... January 2020. My head is usually so far up my ass — especially at first — that I will probably make some dumbass mistakes. But I'm working on accepting that I'll feel like an idiot and to just have fun with it and use it to LEARN and find some new things to work on. Embrace the doofus and enjoy.  

Gym Feelings

I also got very, very excited about my gym yesterday. Right before going to a (fantastic) Women/trans/non-binary folks Judo class taught by a really great woman black belt, I went on about how much I love my gym. How inclusive it is, and how, just *not a toxic MMA culture* place it is. I'm just going to copy a bunch of that thread here, just absolutely gushing about Chop and Chops:

Today, in a couple of hours, I'm going to a women/trans/nonbinary grappling class at my gym, taught by a woman Judo black belt. I'm PUMPED.

It's really important to me that my MMA gym is an inclusive, positive environment for me and for everyone. MMA -- and especially Jiu Jitsu -- does NOT need to be a place dominated by bros with awful politics and horrific tattoos. It can be for anyone to enjoy.

The door to my gym has a trans-inclusive rainbow flag on it. The brothers who run it make sure that all women, trans folks, enbies, and any GNC folks feels especially comfortable and have dependable training partners for each class, especially if they are new.

Here's another thing -- its' an MMA gym, there are plenty of cis dudes! But said dudes are respectful and gracious. I feel safe training with them BECAUSE of the atmosphere and attitude of the place, that's certainly not true everywhere.

One of my favorite training partners rn is a very, very sweet bigger white belt due who wrestled at a high level. If you've done BJJ, "bigger white belt who wrestled" is typically the scariest thing. But he is an absolute gentleman, doesn't just throw his weight around...

he is conscientious and I am learning SO MUCH from rolling with him. Again, in another atmosphere, I might be intimidated. In our gym, people learn to train hard but modulate and always respect their training partners.

I know I'm gushing at this point, lol. But I really can't overstate how much that atmosphere of respect and inclusivity is important and makes a massive difference. I'm a small queer woman, training there simply feels great to me, and that's everything.

That's the thread! I can't say enough good things about this place. It's also honestly a refuge for me, a place where I see my friends (where we all hug very aggressively for a couple hours, then chitchat). I guess it all comes down to this: I'm so, so lucky to be a part of this community. I want everyone in the world to have something they love, and amazing people to support them in it/enjoy it with them.

[thecassadilla]

Positive

Word Count: 1,659/AO3

Pairing: New Dream/Rapunzel x Eugene

Summary: Rapunzel and Eugene get the best news of their lives.

Author’s Note: Hi everyone! This is my contribution for Day 6 of New Dream Appreciation Week - We’re Having a Baby! This is another Modern!AU because that’s my forte, apparently. Just like yesterday, this isn’t really my area of expertise - I have never been pregnant, and only one of my friends has had a baby recently. As a general disclaimer, this fic does focus on Rapunzel and Eugene unexpectedly finding out that they’re having a baby. There’s nothing graphic, or descriptive, or anything, but the implications are obvious. It’s rated T just to be safe.

She didn’t think anything of it, at first. She was just a little more tired than usual. A little was a bit of an understatement, though - she could hardly keep her eyes open every time she wasn’t moving. But they were in the process of moving from their apartment to their new house, and so she chalked it up to stress. 

She became slightly concerned when she felt lightheaded one evening after arriving home from work. She made it to the couch, and within a few seconds the feeling subsided. Once it had passed, she tried to put it behind her and went on with the rest of her day, but the thought still lingered in the back of her head. She avoided telling Eugene about it, because she knew he would freak out and she didn’t think it was something to be really concerned about. The Internet wasn’t much of a help, unsurprisingly; seeing results like ‘congestive heart failure’ quickly made her click away and not look back. 

A couple of days passed before she started to feel persistently nauseous - it wasn’t severe, but rather a constant, low level sense of discomfort. At first she blamed it on the smell of paint fumes in their new house. But the sensation never went away, and it got to the point that the sheer thought of eating was enough to make her feel sick. 

And then the realization hit her like a ton of bricks. They were sitting on the couch one night after dinner, and she was leaned up against him, his arms wrapped around her shoulders. She kept dozing off and waking up, and just as she was about to close her eyes again, her attention was brought to a commercial on the television; an advertisement for a pregnancy test. She felt herself tense up as she watched the couple on the screen smile in delight at their positive result and she felt a chill go up her spine.

“Eugene?” She asked, looking up at his face.

“Hmm?” He hummed in response.

“Did you see that?”

He looked down at her. “What?” 

“That commercial.”

“The insurance one with the talking lizard?”

“No, the one with the pregnancy test.”

He furrowed his eyebrows. “Uh, yeah?” 

“Have you ever thought about that?” She wondered aloud. “Thought about us having a baby?”

He shifted beneath her, and she sat up so she could get a better look at him. “Of course - I mean, if that’s what you want. I know we’ve talked about it in the past, and you’ve always said you wanted kids, but sometimes people change their minds.”

She nodded, tears pricking the corners of her eyes. “I haven’t changed my mind; I still want that.”

“Great, me too,” he smiled slightly, leaning back against the couch and turning his attention back to the television for a second. When he realized that she was still staring at him, he looked back at her. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”

She wasn’t able to form the words, and a strangled type of noise escaped from her throat.

“Because we could start trying, if you want,” he assured her, taking her hands in his own. “I know this probably isn’t the easiest subject to talk about.”

She shook her head, squeezing her eyes closed. 

“Or...we can wait?” He guessed, cocking a brow. “You’re giving me mixed signals here, Rapunzel.”

She took a deep breath before finally blurting out the thought that had been swirling in her head for the last two minutes. “I don’t think we have to try.”

He gave her an odd look before huffing out a laugh. “I mean, technically -”

“No,” she cut him off. “I think I’m pregnant.”

“Oh. Oh,” he said, his eyes widening at her revelation.

“I’ve just been so tired lately, like, I can’t even eat a meal anymore without my eyes closing, and I’ve just felt sick to my stomach, but I thought it was because we were painting the house and there was that time I almost passed out -”

“You almost passed out?”

“But Google said it was congestive heart failure and -”

“Congestive heart failure?!” He exclaimed, his face blanching. He looked like he was about to pass out, himself.

“I’m not dying!” She clarified, moving her hands to cup his jaw. “At least I don’t think I am. I didn’t even think that I could be pregnant until I saw that commercial, but it makes so much sense.”

He nodded slowly, unsure of what to think or say. “Right,” he finally answered. “But you don’t know for sure. We don’t know for sure.”

“No,” she sighed, dropping her hands.

“Well, what are we waiting for? We could go to the store and get a test, and we’d have an answer.”

“Yeah,” she agreed. “Let’s do that.”

So they took a trip to the 24-hour drug store and spent a bit of time in the “family planning” aisle, trying to decide which test to buy. They ended up choosing three different brands, and were both relieved when they walked up to the teenage cashier, who seemed to have more of an interest in her phone than what they were purchasing. The entire drive home was nerve wracking, and cloaked in an awkward silence. 

Her heart was pounding in her chest by the time they got back into the house, and she thoroughly read through the instructions on one of the tests. 

“It says it’s best to use first morning urine,” she explained, biting her lip.

“Just go for it,” he insisted. “Save the other two for tomorrow morning.”

She nodded, closing the bathroom door behind her. A few moments later, the door reopened and they found themselves sitting on the cool tile floor in front of the sink; the test out of their view and a timer set for three minutes. They sat quietly for a few moments.

“What are you thinking?” He asked, finally breaking the silence.

“I’m nervous,” she spoke up, her hand subconsciously pressed against her lower abdomen. “But I don’t know why. We’ve been married for over a year and we have a house, and everything is...stable. I guess I’m nervous because we haven’t really talked about it and it’s so unexpected.”

“Hey, I hope you're not worrying about me, sunshine,” he said, a flash of concern in his eyes. “I know this wasn’t planned, but I’ve always wanted to be a dad. I’ll be thrilled if the test comes back positive. And even if it doesn’t, and we’re on the same page, we can always try for real.”

“I don’t know what I would do without you,” she said, leaning her head on his shoulder. "I'll be so happy if it's positive.”

After what felt like the longest three minutes of their lives, the timer finally beeped.

“Do you want to check? Or do you want me to?” 

“We can both look,” she said, pushing herself up off the floor. He followed suit and watched from her over her shoulder, resting a hand flat on her back. Taking a deep breath, she picked the test up from where it rested on the sink and flipped it over in her hands. She glanced down at it and got her answer; two pink lines. Positive. Pregnant.

“Oh my gosh,” she said, dropping it and bringing her hands to cover her mouth. Tears pooled in her eyes and she couldn’t contain her smile.

“We’re having a baby!” Eugene exclaimed excitedly, wrapping his arms around her. 

“I can’t believe this,” she cried, the tears cascading down her cheeks. “I’m just so happy.”

“We’re going to be parents,” he gushed. “This time next year there will be a tiny human here. Our tiny human.”

“Our baby,” she beamed. 

“We’ll have to dedicate a room for the nursery. And buy baby stuff. We’ll have to come up with a name. There’s so much to do!”

“Not tonight, though, I’m too tired,” she giggled, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand. “But I’m so excited. More than excited. I don’t even know how to put what I’m feeling into words.”

“Just a few hours ago, I didn’t even know this was possible. That this was going to happen,” he said. “I really can’t believe it. In a couple of months, there’ll be a third person living here.”

“February,” she confirmed. “I did the math in the car - the baby will be born in February.”

“Oh god, we don’t have that much time then,” he remarked, sounding slightly panicked.

She laughed. “Eugene, it’s June. We literally have eight months.”

“I better start practicing my dad jokes,” he added. 

She shook her head at him, still grinning from ear to ear. “I’ll have to call the doctor tomorrow and find out what we do next.”

“This is literally the best day of my life,” he said. “Don’t get me wrong, our wedding day is right up there next to it, but nothing can beat this.”

“This is the best day ever,” she corrected. “I can’t believe I was so nervous. And I can’t believe this is real.”

“I was not expecting the day to end like this at all. I think I’m in shock.”

She yawned, then, and reached up to rub her eyes. “I really hate to cut this short but I am absolutely exhausted and I’m about to fall asleep standing here.”

“I don’t know how you can sleep; I’m definitely not going to be able to sleep tonight,” he chuckled.

“You don’t have a baby draining all of your energy,” she pointed out with a laugh, her hand fluttering to her lower abdomen. 

He placed his hand over hers and smiled. “Let’s get you to bed, then.”

“I love you so much,” she smiled back, suddenly throwing her arms around his neck.

"I love you, too," he promised, lifting her off the ground and squeezing her. “I can’t believe we’re going to be parents.”

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 35

ooooh baby functionist universe time

the cover with the neon ‘everything is fine’ sign is rlly good but also the pile of dead data stick bots makes me so sad omg noooo they're so cute leave them alone :( 

minimus and rewind...! its so cool seeing them interact

also I just love the crowd shot, and you can immediately see that there are a ton of data stick bots like rewind around - which isn't what we’re used to at all

also some good ole totalitarian govt stuff like the ‘you are our eyes’ sign (which, in retrospect, is fucking evil damnnnn)

also I'm so [eyezoom] on this functionist universe stuff bc like, this is basically the only time we ever see dominus be a character (rather than hearing abt him thru other characters), and even so he remains pretty ambiguous 

like, minimus clearly isn't thrilled that dominus didn't show up to see him at the space airport or w/e when they've been apart for two million years - and even tho we later see why he didn't show up, it still shows that there's some tension there

the amount of crowd shots in this issue is insane 

oooof, the fact that they sold luna 2 - and to the black box consortia, who we just heard about last chapter when they previously got into a space battle w/the galactic council and the djd

fu!minimus being part of the primal vanguard is interesting, I wanna see more about that. what was he doing w/them for 2 million years?

rewind just casually saying this completely fucked stuff, like that the govt ‘outlawed the intellectual class’ and ‘deported the knock-offs’ (which I'm assuming is cold constructed bots?)

I really like the sense we get thru minimus and rewind’s convo that all of this fucked up stuff has happened slowly enough that its become almost normal - like, they talk about it casually, even though its clear they don't necessarily agree with any of it 

plus the sense of ‘even if things get really bad ill be okay’ that both rewind and minimus seem to adhere to - rewind having been upgraded from being in the disposable class due to his connection w/dominus, and minimus saying ‘I like to think that obsolescence is something that happens to other people’ 

I love all the fucked up signage this issue. ‘take pride in being a means to an end,’ yikes

god and the fact that there isn't MORE data sticks, there's just LESS of other alt modes bc of how many alt modes the govt has wiped out completely...

oof, and continuing the whole ‘slow change’ thing - minimus saying that ‘the council never touches the astro class,’ and maybe that used to be true, but the govt will keep pushing that line, clearly...

and we get to see minimus’s alt mode! altho we the readers know that this isn't minimus’s true form...

‘amazing, the lengths some people will go to cross class boundaries,’ minimus says, as if he isn't doing exactly what rewinds describing, but even moreso as a loadbearer wearing an entire suit of armor

and then the casual public execution of the last lunabot...oof.

love the ‘cybertron. the present day’ text overlay...I was so confused about this when I first read it lmao. I figured it had to be some sort of au/quantum nonsense but STILL

back on the lost light, chromedome is going full kool-aid man on rewinds door

mannnnn I absolutely love the plotline of rewind 2 and chromedome 1...im so glad the story acknowledges that they ARE different, they did experience different stuff on their own lost lights, and rewind 2 being a quantum duplicate doesn't mean he had the same experiences as rewind 1...

and I love so much that chromedome just Doesn't Get It, bc of course he wouldn't - he’s too relieved that rewind is back to even consider that its not quite the same, that the rewind he was forced to blow up is still dead (which is a fucked up thought, so of course chromedome, the master of pushing the past away and moving right along, would want to avoid thinking about that in favor of continuing his relationship w/rewind 2)

it also makes a lot of sense that rewind, who records everything and puts a huge emphasis on history/the past, would be hyperaware of all the differences between him and rewind 1, and his chromedome and this chromedome

AUGHHHH and chromedome referring to an offer he made to rewind that was pretty clearly ‘if your memories of the djd slaughter are too much, I can remove them for you’ ooooof...I love these two so much, like...their absolute opposite approaches to trauma is fascinating

oooh mannnnn and then rewind starts ‘remembering’ stuff from the functionist universe...the plot thickens...!

I really like how one of the main ‘things’ in a lot of tf universes is energon/energy shortages, its interesting when the angle is kinda like, ‘energon is a finite resource and the methods to obtain more often involve destroying other planets,’ that's a pretty unique, alien problem for the tfs to have

it also makes sense that the functionists would form partially in response to that (perceived) shortage, and any sort of scarcity would push them further into their extremist views

I like how expressive the characters with visors are...its cute...

poor rewind has to go thru So Much

WHY can just anyone go into the morgue and touch the dead bodies. I mean I guess megatron being one of the captains explains why he’s in there, but that still shouldn't be allowed 

‘megatron mountain’ vhbjdkshfbjskfbhhk that's so fucking funnyyyyy I love rodimus....I quote that line a lot, especially when watching g1 lmao

the fact that swerve diluting his engex bc he’s a cheapskate saved everyone's s lives is amazing lmao

also like...damn brainstorm sure tried to murder Literally Everyone huh. like I guess the logic would be that if he succeeded in changing the past it wouldn't matter that they had died there cause the timeline wouldn't exist, but STILL. I guess that shows how confident brainstorm was in his plan

it makes so much sense somehow that rung doesn't drink. and we’ve seen firsthand why magnus doesn't lol

mannnn that panel of brainstorm shooting magnus with some wacky beam and causing the magnus armor to fall off in vehicle mode...Super Cool, just peak mad scientist vibes there

ok but if minimus switches to alt mode when ultra magnus does - as we see here, where minesweeper-minimus is inside big-ole-car-magnus - does that mean that inside the minesweeper is turbofox-minimus?? I want to seeeee

ghsdufjkbvksadfbhjs the panels of rodimus telling megatron that brainstorm time travelled are so fucking funny

and megatrons rant about how absolutely bonkers the lost light is....hvbhjdskfbasjh that's so funny oh my god. like yeah dude you're right and you gotta roll w/it sorry 

'on this ship, a minor breakdown is practically a rite of passage’ vbjdsnfbkasdfn its true and I love it

goddddddd it kills me how at this point in the story its So Obvious to everyone that brainstorm travelled back in time to do evil decepticon double agent stuff - and we as the reader can even buy that bc brainstorm has been so sketchy until now, and nothing he’s done contradicts what rodimus suggests - but it turns out in the end, it was all just for love. AUGHHHHHHHH its about the LOVE!!!! that's why I love this arc so much.

back in the functionist universe - god I cant believe rewind waited until Now to reveal to minimus that dominus has a tv face...like I get that that's a difficult topic to bring up in conversation but like, a little sooner might've been good hbvhjkdhnfbjaksl

oh man it hurts...rewind saying that they're in a ‘blind spot...’ oh man :(

rebel rewind, tho!! I love it sm

oh man and rewind never even broke the news about dominus to minimus oof. that's a tough reveal 

MANNN I really like the whole ‘flathead’ thing, its so awful and brutal. its such a logical extension of empurata, and as dominus says, once people get used to seeing empurata’d bots, it loses its punch...and the flatheads thing is even more invasive 

and writing wise, both empurata and the tv-heads are such good devices to show evil govt bs. I talk abt it a lot but I like all the ways jro gets creative with the ‘alien robots’ thing; a lot of these concepts wouldn't work at all with humans or other organic aliens

GODDD and dominus’s chilling speech being interrupted by the functionist propaganda....fucking horrifying I love it

also seeing dominus here is fascinating - clearly the council managed to pin him down enough to turn him into a flathead, but they never discovered his true alt mode...same with minimus, actually 

the cog is so fucking ominous. just floating there...

and the council is scary too! their names, and the fact that they all look the same...seems about right for an evil alien governing body

mannnnnnn and then the reveal that the data slug alt-modes will be ‘recalled’ next...rewind noooooo...and the one council guy even admitted that they still served some purpose in society, BUT that their ability to mass store data made them dangerous to the goverment...evil!!

meanwhile, rodimus doesn't know enough about science to be appropriately frightened about their timeline being wiped from existence, so he’s having a grand ole time

‘no one’s nodding, perceptor’ bvhjdbfasdfhbk their expressions....the lost light command crew are all clearly team ‘leave the science to the scientists’ lmao

I do love the paradox stuff, and brainstorm’s way around it all 

‘so I'm not allowed to take an interest in magic?’ hvbjhsdkfbjhkdf ily sm rodimus

but also like....rodimus suggests a parallel universe could've formed and perceptor is like ‘no way, that's not scientifically possible,’ as if brainstorm didn't basically defy science by time travelling at all...and more to the point, functionist cybertron DID get created, so rodimus was actually RIGHT this time

love that we’re already seeing perceptor’s admiration for brainstorm and his invention even here....sapiosexual mfer

a time travel chase....so beautiful...I love sci-fi so much

seriously time travel is one of my favorite tropes ever, this arc was inevitably gonna be my fav 

‘he’s going to kill orion pax.’ DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN

meanwhile, on functionist cybertron...aw, is that bulkhead? great cameo! oh wait what's going on with all the data sticks...? uh oh!

the fact that their heads just EXPLODE....soooo fucked!! 

god and then the council picks up their dead bodies, for...probably something evil, I’d assume

god and then dominus got even more fucked....

‘there are certain words you cant afford to lose’ ;_; REWIND....GODDD IM SAD 

GOD GOD GOD the reveal that minimus has CAMERAS in his EYES GODDDDDDDDDDDD that's so FUCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and rewinds reaction...ME TOO BITCH TF!!!!!!

all the ‘you are our eyes’ messages are even worse now huh!!

they did it while minimus was asleep...that's so fuckedddd

FUCKKKK and then rewind’s impassioned rebel speech, which I adore.....rewind ily sm...he’s such a good revolutionary, I wish we could've seen him leading an anti-funtionist rebellion....BUT THEN ‘oh? what about the back up?’ and its just like HHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and then his head starts smoking and we see another billboard, but this time it says ‘WE are your eyes’ - is the implication that everyone is now a surveilling spy, whether they like it or now, so now it’s ‘we?’ like, we’re all in it together, spying on each other! ooooof

also. this is like the third time rewind has died on-screen in this series lmao (well, if you count the fake-out death where he thought he’d be cancelled out during slaughterhouse)...he ALMOST died in issue 12 too....poor rewind

‘the custom-made now’ is such a great title. jro always killin it w/the titles

plus ‘elegant chaos’ is such a cool arc name. fucking epic 

M A N NNNNNNNN THIS ISSUE WAS BALLER...this ARC is baller....I talked a lot hvbhdjkhfndsak lmao but there's so much to talk abt!!! I love the look into the functionist universe, I love seeing alternate versions of characters and settings so much, and I love time travel, so this issue is basically made for me

plus I fuckign love alien robot politics and seeing the absolute control the govt has over cybertronian society in the functionist universe is fascinating - plus from a storytelling standpoint, I think it was brilliant to show the ‘other side,’ aka what things would've been like without the war...which is something ill talk about later when its more directly addressed in the story but man do I enjoy that 

basically I love this arccccc I cant wait to read more hhhhhhh

[starryseo]

date. | hwang hyunjin

this gif?? is a godsend??

pairing ↠ hyunjin x gender neutral!reader

genre ↠ some poorly-written fluff? slight enemies to lovers?? detective au! 

wc ↠ 3234

summary ↠ friday evenings shouldn't be spent staring at case files. luckily, the universe has made plans for you.

warnings ↠ a biiit of swearing

a/n ↠ wow this is long overdue! hope you all enjoy reading this :') sorry in advance for the awkward spacing, i wrote this on a google doc first (and deleted it like a dumbass) so ig the copy+pasting got weird.

-

Normally, Friday evenings would be spent at home, under several warm blankets and dim lights, your only company being a tub of Cookies and Cream ice cream, enough sweets to make your teeth ache and Chris Evans (he may be in your TV screen, but, for now, that presence is more than enough). But, clearly, Captain Woojin Kim has it out for you since he’s kept your squad and several others back to fish through a ship load of paperwork. You’re certain he’s adding more manila folders to your toppling pile each time you blink, your hands ache as you swap between signing papers and typing up incident reports.

Glancing at the clock on the wall, you notice it’s only been half an hour of filing, the clock’s hands ticking just past 5 o’clock. You reach for the mug of coffee that your Captain had so graciously gifted you before dropping the paperwork bombshell. Groaning at the realisation that your mug is now empty, you drop your head on the table. This wasn’t supposed to be a normal Friday evening; sure, filling in reports were different plans to your usual Netflix and chill, but on this particularly fine Friday, you actually had plans. Real plans. You hadn’t been extremely thrilled earlier this week for the blind date your friend had set up for you today, but now? Anything would be better than listening to Jisung repeat every single thing he was writing and typing and thinking. No amount of coffee could ever give you enough energy to deal with him.

You let out another groan, stretching your arms above your head, before grabbing your coffee mug to get a refill. Suddenly, you become a coffee boy as Jisung, Seungmin, Hyunjin, Felix and Minho -- who wasn’t even part of your team -- thrust out their arms, each of them holding an empty mug begging to be filled once more. Rolling your eyes, you walked straight past all of them to focus on your own mug. You laughed when they muttered curses, most choosing to continue with their reports. You set up the coffee machine, listening to its dull droning tone until the door swings open behind you.

“Thank you so much for the refill, y/n,” Hyunjin drawled, sarcasm slipping easily between his words, as he stood beside you.

“Anytime, Hyunjin.” You were not in the mood for Hyunjin’s quips -- especially not because he looked perfectly energetic when you could barely keep your eyes open. You huffed when the machine stopped working, letting out a long groan. “Stupid machine!”

“Step aside, let the master work his magic,” Hyunjin boasted, bumping you aside with his hip as he stretched his arms out in front of him, lacing his fingers together to crack them. He whacked the side of the machine harshly, grinning when it sputtered back to life, “That’s magic, baby!” He turned to you with a smirk, raising his eyebrows.

“Wow, that was so impressive.” You deadpanned, nudging him back in a similar manner. You placed your mug under the dispenser, pressing the button to fill it up.

“Worked like a charm,” his smirk never left and he turned to face you, leaning against the counter.

“Oh, definitely, I’m swooning,” you rolled your eyes -- a common gesture whenever you spoke to Hyunjin -- before grabbing your mug and stepping away.

“I knew you’d fall for me eventually.” He stayed unmoving, brown eyes practically teasing a reaction out of you.

And that was exactly why you could never have a proper conversation with the man. You’ve had your fair share of cocky men -- interrogating overconfident pimps was never your favourite task -- but at least you got paid to deal with those rich guys. There wasn’t enough money in the world to incite you into a willing conversation with Hyunjin. To the others, he was an absolute angel, going out of his way to help them, always cracking jokes to lighten the mood; to you, he was the devil’s incarnate: constantly looking for new ways to annoy you, taunting you at every possible instance -- the only time he’d gone out of his way for you was when he nitpicked through 5 of your cases, correcting any spelling mistakes and gaps. Long story short, Hwang Hyunjin was annoying. Great at his job -- there was no doubt about that -- but infuriating nonetheless.

“Anyway,” you sighed out, “goodbye, Hyunjin!”

Just as your free hand grabbed hold of the door knob, he yelled, “Wait!” Another sigh left you as you dropped the handle to turn around, raising a brow at him. A smirk briefly fluttered across his face, not quick enough for you to miss and it left you mentally questioning why you were still listening to him. “I heard you had a date tonight.” He watched you carefully, eyes meticulously observing every slight movement you made; you bit your tongue, not wanting to play into his games. When you gave no visible response, he continued, “Is it true?” He tilted his head innocently, but he was far from it, and you knew that.

You were sure he knew the answer to his own question, so why bother asking? To annoy you, of course.

“You’re a detective, work it out.”

-

Shutting your last folder, you heaved out a long sigh, rubbing the fatigue from your eyes. You were finally done. If you left now, you’d make it back to your apartment with enough time to shower before you needed to get ready and leave.

You grabbed the set of files you had just completed, pushing yourself away from your desk to put them away in the correct places. When you get back to your desk, Captain Woojin is there and you’re already dreading what he has to say.

“You’ve finished, right, y/n?”

Great. He probably had a ton of files in his office that needed completing, if the load in his hand was reflective of anything. He was probably watching and waiting -- like some sort of apex predator, a ravenous shark -- for someone to finish so he could dish out even more files, because who makes plans on a Friday evening? It wouldn’t hurt to lie to him, would it? No harm would be done, right?

“Yeah, I’m done.” You couldn’t lie. It would just hurt your conscience. Maybe this was a sign from the universe to not go on that blind date.

"Great, I can take those files for you, could you just drop this package off at the front desk?"

"Yeah, no problem." Could it be? Freedom? "Is that all?"

"Yes, thank you. Wouldn't want to keep your date waiting, right?"

The smile that had just started forming on your face was instantly wiped away when you saw the small grin on his face. He stacked the remaining files in his hand on Hyunjin's desk before leaving. You barely registered the snickers that left Hyunjin and Seungmin as you said your goodbyes and finally took leave.

Why did you ever think telling Felix about it was a good idea? Damn Detectives and their love for gossip.

-

It was a rush job but you made it on time. Getting home was fairly quick since you missed the rush hour traffic, and you're pretty sure that was the quickest you've ever showered and gotten ready in - if your date didn't appreciate all this effort, you were going to flip.

The place was fairly fancy -- low lighting, regal colours, the whole shebang -- and when the waiter led you to the reserved table, you couldn't help but look around at other diners' plates. Seriously, where was the rest of the meal? What was the point in having great tasting food if it barely filled you up? The pizza place a couple of blocks down seemed much more appealing right now, but you had to at least try to have fun today. 

15 minutes. It had only been fifteen minutes but your eyes were drooping and your date still wasn't here. Once another ten went by, you picked up your phone and messaged the oh-so-amazing friend of yours that had set up this date in the first place.

You: chan???

You: hes not here and im tired, can i go home now??

Chan: He's not? :(

Chan: One sec, I'm messaging him

As you waited, you decided rubbing your freedom in Felix's face was a great pastime.

You: you still alive??

You: actually no, is jisung still alive or have you finally killed him?

Felix: killing him would just be more paperwork that my ass can't handle. I'm seeing folders every time i blink, put me out of my misery

You: you're still there??

Felix: lmao no, the Mins and i escaped, and Cap kicked Sung out when he started singing I Want It That Way

Felix: so your boy Hyunjinnie is the only one there ;^) must be a shit date if you're here texting me, but you could go in and keep him company if you know what i mean ;)))) 

You: i have no idea what you mean

After seeing the series of hearts and kiss emojis he sent you after, you came to the conclusion ignoring Felix was a much better pastime.

Chan: Shit

Chan: Asshole's not replying to me

Chan: I'm sorry y/n :/

Chan: Wtf he left me on read wtf

Chan: I'm pretty sure he's already given his card details to that place, rinse his money

After confirming with your waiter, who probably realised that you had been stood up, you decided to make good on what Chan said and buy some food. If the guy wasn't going to show up, you weren't just going to let an open tab go to waste.

You ordered two of the most expensive meals off the menu and a slice of cheesecake to lift up your mood.

-

Why did the precinct have to be there on your way back? As soon as you passed it, you remembered what Felix said about Hyunjin still being there. You wondered why he was staying back when the others had gotten out earlier, and you blame that reasoning alone for why you turned your car around and headed into the building. 

He really was there. Legs on his desk, keyboard on his lap, typing with one hand and drinking coffee with the other, Hyunjin was a sight to behold. His shirt was crumpled, sleeves creased from being rolled up, and his hair was wild, sticking up at gravity-defying angles. You watched as his eyes skimmed over the text on his computer, unblinking even as he took another sip from the mug.

"Wow, you look like shit." You grinned, dropping the takeaway bags on your desk. You laughed when your presence startled him into jumping, coffee splashing down his forearm, chair rolling away from his desk, keyboard hanging dangerously over the edge.

"Y-You're back?"

"Clearly," amusement never left your eyes as you watched him fix his dishevelled state. You tossed the box of tissues on your desk to him and he smiled in thanks. Once he had finally wiped away the mess, picked up his keyboard and tamed his hair, he leaned back in his chair and swivelled to face you. 

"Bad date?" The smirk on his face did nothing to make you forget the vision you just saw, and you would not let him have the upper hand.

"I just saw you singing Thank you, Next, don't try to mock me."

"I'll buy you coffee for a month if you don't tell the others?"

"Two months."

He huffed, but agreed anyway.

"And you have to get it from Carla's place."

"But that's so far away," he whined, pouting and all.

"I got the whole thing on video, so…"

"I'd be honoured to go!"

After a couple of minutes of (strangely comfortable) silence, you spoke up. "Have you even eaten yet?"

"Must've been a real bad date if you got takeaway," he snorted, rolling his chair to your desk before leaning an elbow on it, "What've you got?"

You pulled out the three containers, pushing one over to Hyunjin. "Ooh, Valentino's, how fancy." He rolled back to his desk, rummaging through a drawer to pull out the cutlery he had stashed there. You did the same as he shimmied back -- you had learned, rather quickly in your first week here, that it was best to keep your dishes safe in your desks if you wanted them to stay clean.

The food was still fairly warm as you ate, but, like all fancy restaurants, there was barely any food there to eat. Even after you split the cheesecake, you could feel your stomach on the edge of rumbling, and taking one look at Hyunjin told you he felt the same.

"You up for Chinese?" He grinned, licking away the remnants of cream from his fork, "I'll even pay."

"You done with your reports?" You glanced at his abandoned computer as he groaned.

"I hate Cap."

You laughed as he dragged a hand down his face, letting out a tired sigh. "He gave you more?"

"Well, yeah, sorta, I kinda asked for them."

"You deserve this then." You chuckled, curiously continuing, "Why'd you do that?"

At that, he chanced a glance at you before looking down at the fork he was twiddling between his fingers. "He was gonna give 'em to you, but I told him you had a date."

You narrowed your eyes at him, "Now why would you do that?"

He shrugged, as though he hadn't just lightened your load despite your rivalry, "You had plans, I didn't. Plus, you could use the break," then, in true annoying Hyunjin fashion, he smirked, "you look like shit."

You didn't dignify that with a verbal response, choosing to kick -- not so lightly -- him in the shin. You grinned at his yelped curse. He leaned down to rub his leg, pouting, "I was kidding- fuck, that hurts, you look…" he took the chance to scrutinise your appearance, eyes dancing with mirth as you shifted under his gaze. "You look okay."

"Okay?"

"Fine." He huffed, "you look fine. Alright. Decent. Nice."

He had rolled back to his desk before you could recognise his rising blush or form a reply. Was that supposed to be a compliment? He was so focussed on his screen now that you decided it must have been a compliment if he was shying away from you now. You smiled at that -- seriously, y/n? falling for the enemy? -- before you grabbed the used cutlery, going to the break room to wash them.

-

Once you finished washing up in the tiny sink, you headed over to Hyunjin. You hid your smirk when he tensed up ever so slightly as you dropped his cutlery on his desk; he took extra care in keeping his eyes on his screen, but you still noticed the slight hitch in the way he tapped at his keyboard, giving away his nerves to your trained eye.

Was he seriously still nervous about having given you a compliment? Did he regret it?

You said nothing, however, choosing to head back to your own desk before leaving the precinct. Without so much as a goodbye, Hyunjin watched -- eyes downcast, yet you'd never know -- as you walked away.

-

Hyunjin was a detective. A damn good detective, and he got your signal loud and clear.

Taking your reports from Woojin was a leap of faith, of sorts; he never intended on telling you that he took them -- or worse, why he really did -- but he thought that lightening your load on a Friday evening was a nice gesture and possibly a step in the right direction.

He thought, for once, the universe was working out in his favour, because even though he had piled on more work for himself than necessary, the stars aligned and you were brought back to him. God, his internal monologue was dramatic.

It was a crush. For the past three weeks and four days, Hyunjin had developed a somewhat crush on you. The teasing continued, of course, but the longing gazes he gave you -- which, thankfully, you never seemed to notice -- made him awfully aware of how much he liked spending time with you, even if you were spitting fire and mocking him.

But now, your rejection was blatantly obvious. Like a siren wailing right in front of him, he got the message. You completely ignored his compliment -- a sad attempt, really, but it was something -- and Hyunjin knew you knew what he was really hinting at (y/n, you look more than just okay, you look--) but words, it seemed, just weren't his forte, and he swivelled his chair away before he had to face the disgust that probably painted your face. And you said nothing. The silence that followed was deafening because he realised his shitty compliment -- yes, he'd finally come to terms that it was pathetic -- had made you feel so awkward, so uncomfortable, that you couldn't even speak to him; instead, he had to listen to water splashing, cutlery tinkling and you walking away.

--stunning.

-

He wasn't asleep. He had half a mind to just shove whoever kept poking him and not letting him wallow in his arms. He was allowed to be sad: the person he kind of, maybe, possibly, had feelings for had just up and left him alone in an empty squad room, he could pout for a few moments longer. The incessant nudges didn't poke through Hyunjin's bubble and it made him wonder, one, who the hell was still touching him? and two, what was the goddamn time, because he was sure the pokes had lasted forever and a day, and he still had two more reports to go over.

On a newly-thought-of third note, it made him finally aware of the scent of spices weaseling into his pity party.

His head snapped up, jaw dropping only slightly when he saw it was you.

Really and truly, you. 

Holding Chinese from that one store just down the road.

Fucking finally, you muttered, but he was still shocked that you were here, on your own chair, but right beside him, with more containers actually filled to the brim with his favourite food from his favourite place.

But more importantly, you were right beside him.

"Dig in," you murmured, waiting for him to start eating first.

You were momentarily blinded by the grin he gave you, before he began eating and you followed.

After you finished eating -- hunger thoroughly sated -- you decided that maybe spending some more time with Hyunjin wouldn't be so bad.

No, you were only going to stay because technically these were your reports and you didn't want to owe him any favours he could use against you. It wasn't because two weeks and five days ago you had developed a small, barely there, practically non-existent, crush on the man beside you.

It certainly wasn't because you were totally aware now of the way he was smiling at you as you proofread the final report.

And it most definitely wasn't because his lips had your own turning up into a smile.

"You're staring." You said, eyes skimming through line after line of police work.

"I know."

"Why?"

"Because…" he trailed off, scooting the slightest bit closer as his arm snaked around the back of your chair so he could roll you even closer too, "you look--"

-

yo pls tell me wtf this is bc i have no idea. it's almost 4am, im at 11% but ya boi is done™ hope u liked this bc i had no idea where i was going with this, the idea was a lot cuter in my head but oh well :'') 

[popwasabi]

Lockdown Lookback: Catching up on the past months’ Pop Culture

Aaaaannnd we’re back!

It’s amazing what a little pandemic can do to shake you out of your creative cobwebs but if we’re all going to die, I want to make sure all my pop cultural hot takes are up to date at least.

Many of us are already on lockdown and many major movies including “007,” “Black Widow” and ummm I guess “Mulan” are all getting pushed to the backburner as no one is leaving their God damn homes unless they’re told to!

(Didn’t realize the thing I wish I had more of in the apocalypse would be sweatpants...)

But there’s still plenty to talk about from the previous months and other hot topics I have been meaning to write about but just hadn’t found the time or energy for. Life has been hard I think for just about all of us these days thanks in no small part to this pandemic. For me personally, I’ve had two different vacations canceled because of the virus and currently working understaffed at my job which is considered essential. Not to mention my therapist is on call only at this time and both my martial arts schools have been suspended, so I can neither talk nor punch my feelings out of my system.

So, I might be just a LITTLE on edge at the moment.

(My internal monologue for most of these past few weeks, more broadly years...)

Anyways, I digress, you come here because you like to read my highly unprofessional takes on pop culture and genuinely to those who have cheered me on from the beginning thanks, you guys are my prime motivators. But anyways let’s talk about all the shit I was supposed to write about these last two and a half months.

 “Birds of Prey” was a hot, but needed, mess

Earlier last month I got to see the sort of sequel to the much-maligned “Suicide Squad” in “Birds of Prey and the…waaaay too long of a title for me write here.” I had cautious optimism for it because it looked strange and off the beaten path of most comic book movies and seemed to promise at the very least a fun time at the theater but it’s still also a DCEU movie so the floor was pretty low on its possible quality as well.

In the end, the movie is kind of bit of everything; the best and worst parts of the DCEU. 

In terms of the good, it’s definitely outside the box, a sort of fem Deadpool first person story as told frenetically by Harley herself. Margot Robbie is, of course, still quite great at this role and you can tell she’s having a blast as this character. The humor is mostly good and visually the bright colors and cinematography pops on each screen and on that front there isn’t much to complain about.

But as a DCEU movie it does suffer from some narrative imbalance partially due to it’s psycho storyteller but mostly, and more than likely, due to corporate editing that probably axed an entire dance number that I was honestly looking forward to from the trailers.

(Seriously, I actually wanted to see the full unedited version of whatever hell this ended up being.)

It’s definitely in the “could’ve been better” camp of comic book movies but you know what? I’m still glad it exists. You know why? Because comic book movies dominate our blockbuster culture right now and if the genre wants to survive, at least artistically, it needs some outside the box films like this. I HATED “Joker” but I appreciate that it opened the door for stranger, more unique takes on a genre that is getting increasingly more stale. This movie falls into that unique category too.

(Also, to all the faux-intellectuals and alt-right nerds making a culture war out of “Sonic” vs “Birds of Prey” *kindly* reevaluate your lives please...)

We’re at the point now where comic book movies should be getting weirder, not more formulaic, and that means swinging for the fences even if a couple don’t quite make it out of the ballpark. If it takes a few not so stellar takes on the genre for Hollywood to greenlight a truly fantastic one I’m all for it.

In any case “Birds of Prey” doesn’t quite end nor continue the DCEU’s recent hot streak but it is enjoyable enough to where I would be more than open to a sequel. It’s worth a watch.

 The Mandalorian and The Witcher: Two shows about violent mercenaries and fatherhood

Both these shows are old news at this point, but I did want to talk a little about both for a bit if you would have me.

First, “The Mandalorian” which was Disney+’s flagship production to begin its streaming chapter late last year is definitely a more than welcome addition to the galaxy far, far away. It’s pretty easy to feel fairly jaded about Star Wars these days given how flat the new trilogy ended but for what it’s worth “The Mandalorian” was a good mix of nostalgia bait and something new and interesting for fans to chew on. Its production value is obviously top-notch, no doubt because of all the Disney money pumped into it, it’s well-acted and thrilling and fun from start to finish. It plays heavily on the genres that influenced the series, primarily westerns and old samurai flicks, and fans of those will certainly enjoy the homages to them all.

The series was something of a coming out party for Deborah Chow who directed two of the season 1’s best episodes. Her steady hand, eye for details and tributes to Asian cinema throughout really gave the series an extra kick at times and showed how Star Wars can evolve still. Chow is set to helm the upcoming “Kenobi” series and one can only hope that she *really* leans into the samurai genre for that show.

(Hopefully, there are some “Yojimbo” vibes in there somewhere...)

The Mandalorian’s best and worst parts though are its semi episodic nature making each episode easy to digest as a one-off but also lacking some narrative tension between each. It plays kind of like a Saturday Morning cartoon to both its benefit and detriment with bite-size easy to digest plots and dialogue for the viewers but not offering a ton of depth beyond that.

The Mandalorian himself is also kind of a Gary Stu. His armor is basically impenetrable and far and away the best killer onscreen typically, making more than a few action scenes lack real stakes and tension. Baby Yoda certainly helps at times to make him more vulnerable and puts him in precarious positions plenty of times but outside a few moments (mainly episode 2 and to a lesser extend the final episode) he’s just a little too overpowered to be a more interesting character.

But this show and frankly the Star Wars series as a whole is meant for kids, no matter what the neckbeards try to tell you (violence =/= adult), and that’s not necessarily a bad thing either. Plenty of kids productions can be both great and even sophisticated and while I wouldn’t say “The Mandalorian” is either of those it’s a good and fun kids show for the fans.

(And yes I’m aware that the books, some comics, and games have touched on more adult stuff, you weirdos. But how would you describe the overall tone and presumptive audience of the movies and TV series as a whole, guys??)

As far as “The Witcher” goes it also has a bit of an episodic style to it as well with an overarching, albeit, convoluted story that runs parallel to it. The first 3-4ish episodes can be classified as a quasi “Game of Thrones” clone leaning perhaps a little too heavily into the tropes of that series. Once the series finally starts leaning into its real identity, a dry-witted hack and slash fantasy, the series is much more consistent both tonally and narratively.

Henry Cavil is solid as Geralt of Rivia and the supporting cast of Joey Batey as Jaskier, Freya Allen as Ciri and even more so Anya Chalotra as Yennefer are all great in their respective roles delivering some great moments throughout the season.

(And lest you forget this earworm...)

“The Witcher’s” early season struggles keep it from being as tonally or narratively consistent as “The Mandalorian” but where the monster slayer beats the bounty hunter is that it has overall more compelling drama and has more to say, leaning much more heavily into the thematic greys of the plot. There are tons of problems with “The Witcher” on a story-telling level but you can definitely say it cares more about adding some depth in between the more pulpy aspects of the story which is something you can’t say as much for in “The Mandalorian.”

Of course, I’m partially overselling “The Witcher” a bit here, it’s not anywhere near “Game of Thrones” best (yet at least), and on the flipside one could argue that “The Mandalorian’s” more subtle sense of story-telling does its themes better. But when it comes down to these two shows you get somewhat similar story-telling ideas, mostly involving both characters and their smaller counterparts, in two very different genres with equally diverging conclusions to their respective seasons. 

(🎵 Toss an “Oof” to your Witcher...🎵)

All in all, they’re both good and worth a watch and I think they deserve a chance to evolve and hopefully showcase more of what they have to offer moving forward.

“Parasite” wins Best Picture! Many people have some hot takes, including the president...

Last month one of my favorite films of 2019 “Parasite” won Best Picture at the Oscars. It’s a movie that is becoming increasingly relevant as elites and celebrities alike are getting front of the line testing despite being asymptomatic in the middle of pandemic and think they can assuage our concerns and dread by poorly singing “Imagine” together within the comfort of their McMansions.

It’s about as a good time as any to revisit this movie, I mean where else are you going to go during this timeline, and at a later date I’ll write something more extensive about it eventually (hopefully) but first here’s a helpful video on one particular thing that came out after director Bong Joon Ho took home the night’s top honors:

 “Cats” is still a fever dream of madness

Back in late December, I watched “Cats” for science, as I had AMC A-List and a friend crazy enough to join me. I figured it would be bonkers and unlike anything I had seen before in the worst way but even then, I don’t think I was truly prepared for what I ended up seeing that fateful night.

I remember quite vividly going to the bar inside the theater and ordering a stiff drink beforehand to numb the pain and the bartender asking “So what are y’all watching tonight?” and beginning to laugh manically like an insane asylum patient at the innocuousness of the question. Walking into the theater was like that feeling you get before getting on a particularly scary-looking rollercoaster at Six Flags but instead of the pre-ride jitters eventually subsiding to the eventual fun and joy of the ride, only a deep sense of existential dread built up and sustained itself through what felt like six hours of the most baffling thing put to screen in front of my eyes ever.

(The music that played in my head as I exited the theater...)

Have any of you watched the Stanley Kubrick movie “Eyes Wide Shut” before? You know the scene when Tom Cruise is walking around in his mask observing the strange occult sex orgy going on around him at the mansion? That’s kind of what “Cats” felt like except way more terrifying, somehow MORE sexual, and definitely crazier.

(Is...this some type of...intepretative dance to summon an eldritch horror??)

There’s a voyeuristic terror that comes from sitting in that theater room as you watch bipedal humanoid looking felines dance to confusing songs about “Jelicle” cats (whatever the fuck that means) and all other manner of things that should NOT take human form throughout it’s near-endless runtime. A lot was made about Rebel Wilson and the disgusting roach people she consumes but NO ONE warned me about the frankly HORRIFYING mice children in the same scene!

(I am not perusing the internet to find that image again for y’all. I have enough nightmares each night...)

The saddest thing about the whole movie is everyone, save for Ian Mckellen who seemed to be acting as if a gun was pointing at him offscreen and Judi Dench who looked 100 percent like a geriatric in her digi fur, was giving the movie their fullest effort in what can only be described as a Titanic-sized level of hubris by all parties involved. This movie really needed a “Chaostician” involved in evaluating the production for studio heads and shareholders because there were definitely NOT enough people on this project wondering whether or not this film SHOULD exist...

(Dr. Ian Malcolm coming to Universal Pictures to access the film.)

What has “Cats” wrought upon this world? The universe has been clearly out of balance since this movie came out and while I’m not saying it’s director Tom Hooper’s fault, I’m not saying it isn’t either.

“Cats” is one of those things, much like The Matrix that cannot be simply described but must be seen to believe. It’s one of the worst things I have ever seen onscreen but with the right group of people and a few stiff drinks it’s certainly an experience you won’t forget. Consider it for your next Google Hangout during this apocalypse.

  Anyways, that about wraps up my thoughts on the last few months. Going to try to be more consistent going forward especially given how much more time I have now to write, for better and worse. But more importantly, just want to say stay safe y’all. It’s going to be a process to get through this and while things are more likely to get worse before they get better there will be a day when this all ends and some normalcy may yet return to our life but in order for us to get there we need to remain vigilant. 

So stay at home, wash your hands, and if you want to watch movies just order it online for now and we’ll just wait until aaaallll this blows over…hopefully.

Don’t panic...

[thebiasrekkers]

No Words, pt 3

Pairing: Taehyung x OC

Type: Series

Genre: Idol, Poly, Interracial, Tall Female, Smut, Angst, Fluff [if you squint]

Warning: Smutty AF. 

Words: 1545

---

She was not OK.

This was not OK.

What are you doing?! She admonished herself as Taehyung nudged her face. The subtle motion changing the direction of her mouth as she turned away. The heat of his breath caressed her cheek. He had one hand holding both of her wrists captive above her head as the other hand slid down along the curve of her body. He pulled her against him until their hips collided.

The sensation of her against him, the friction of their bodies squeezing his cock just enough. He hissed against her neck. The low throaty sound he made sent shivers down her spine. “Taehyung, we..can’t.” She hesitated as his lips dragged along the column of her neck. She kept saying they shouldn’t, that they couldn’t - but her body had other ideas.

Taehyung’s palm massaged and gripped her ass, pulling her hard against him. She made another sound as he found that sweet little spot. His hips rotated into her as he pulled her leg up and around his waist.

12 Floors left.

He leaned into that rotation and felt her shudder against him. There was a look of triumph on his face as her eyes rolled shut. She was breathing heavy, and he could feel her pulse throbbing under his teeth. She bucked against him as he bit down at the juncture of her neck and shoulder. Those long fingers dug into the meat of her thigh, holding her in place.

He angled her just right, her arousal throbbing against his. The friction was delicious, and she was going insane. Beads of sweat trickled, burning a path down her neck into the dip of her shirt. The other hand released her to tuck against the wide expanse of her hips. He held her just under a breast. His fingers digging into her ribs as he continued to push and rotated against her.

Faster.

Lips, teeth, and tongue dragged in all directions against her neck. Taehyung was going to explode, he was sure of it. He was going to spontaneously combust in this elevator. He leaned his body further as he lifted the other leg. On instinct, she wrapped them around his waist. She had tried to bite back the noises that she wanted to make.

But when he got her hefted up? When her legs wrapped around his waist, and the extended, thick, girthy definition of his cock pressed against the moisture pooling on the other side of her pants? She dug her nails into his back as he shifted against her again. Dark eyes looked up from the shadow of a hoodie, committing that face, the voice to memory. Her mouth fell open on a sing-song moan. Taehyung stopped for just a moment as he watched her face. He saw what he was doing to her, and it made his knees weak.

9 Floors left.

More.

Their gazes connected as he trembled on the edge of his restraint. She was disheveled, hair slipped from its usual bun. Her shirt sinking off one shoulder shining with his saliva. The shadow of cleavage caused his throat to dry. They could feel the throb connecting them - and they each had the same thought.

Could they get their pants off fast enough? Dare they try?

“Tae. We’ve gone too far.” Her voice was husky, lust-filled, and she felt him twitch between her legs.

“I don’t care.” He growled, hips shifting into that space between her legs. She could feel him thumping against her clit through her pants. She inhaled as her hips jerked in his hands. A futile attempt at slapping his shoulders as her eyes rolled again. Before she could say anything else? His lips were on hers, pushing his tongue inside of her mouth. The sweep, dance, and tangle of their lips drowned out the shuffle of fabric.

She grabbed the metal bar behind her to hold herself upward. One hand dug into his back as he picked up speed. She wanted to keep up the lie - so badly. She wanted nothing more than to pretend that she hadn’t been thrilled by that kiss. That she hadn’t thought about the what-ifs of that night.

Her focus was on her job - and the success of the tour. Because this would open the door to her future. She didn’t need anything like this to happen - especially with one of the members.

7 floors left.

Her mind went blank as he moaned into her mouth. Her body responded as she dragged her hips against the cock throbbing against her sex. There were four layers of dark fabric, keeping them from being completely reckless.

Her hips undulated as they devoured each other in ravenous kisses. He grunted as fingers dug possession into her skin. Her ankles locked behind him as she lost herself to the moment. The elevator walls dripped condensation as if it was a nervous voyeur to the heated scene unfolding.

5 floors left.

God, if he could just….

….there was too much fabric.

She bit into his bottom lip, and Taehyung grabbed the bar to support himself. Before he realized it, she was pushing herself against him. She was the aggressor as her hands locked behind his neck. There was a look of absolute determination on her face. She was close and determined to reach the finish line.

He could feel the quiver of energy, tightening the muscles in his groin. It felt like all the energy in his body pooled in his gut.

3 floors left.

She moaned his name like a sacred prayer to god’s long dead. Taehyung saw stars as he came in a furious, messy, rush inside his pants. She felt him pulsing against her clit as she followed him. Her hips pushed into his, and they throbbed, wet, and panting against each other.

He kissed her in an attempt to swallow her moans, trading breaths - they paused at the sound of voices getting louder.

Ding.

There were random tourists ready to head out into the night. Taehyung lowered his head as he pushed out of the elevator. They separated just in time to collect themselves before the doors opened. She smiled brightly, shuffling out of the elevator as the people stepped inside. There was a mild look of curiosity as they spied the moisture on the elevator walls.

The doors closed, leaving the two of them in awkward silence. She pushed that wealth of dark curls back into a soft puff. He was staring at her as she adjusted her shirt. He could already see the beginnings of a purple forming on the surface of her skin. Taehyung’s lips lifted upward in the slightest of smirks.

She still had that hooded haze in her eyes, the throes of orgasmic bliss still visible in the dilation of her pupils. He felt the blood surge straight into the beginning of another erection. He couldn’t help but grab himself as her eyes met his.

“G-goodnight, Taehyung.” Her voice was still husky, throaty. A thick swallow as she turned in the opposite direction, on wobbly legs, and made her way to the other side of the floor. He watched her rub the back of her neck, smooth her hands over her hips. His head tilted at the sway of her ass, the calculated steps to stay upright.

He licked his lips and watched her as she disappeared.

I should get it over with. I should just…go to her room…

He snapped his teeth as the prickle in his skin told him otherwise. She was right - he was overheating. He turned in the opposite direction toward his room. He hadn’t had enough to eat, and he could feel it. Tae struggled to stay upright as he fumbled for his keycard. He shouldered the door open, letting it close behind him. The suitcase felt like a two-ton weight behind him. His palm dug into his eye socket as he eyed the tray of food waiting for him.

He tugged off the hoodie and tossed it into a chair. His nostrils flared at the scent that filled the air. Fingers locked into the waist of his sweats and he dared a peek. The moist spot in his underwear, the sticky residue dribbling against his abdomen - proof. It wasn’t a dream. He twitched at the thought of a face. His head fell back as his eyes closed. He was sure he’d break his record tonight. Taehyung was ready to go for number two until his bathroom door opened.

“Hyung..” Taehyung’s eyes went wide as he turned around. The waist of his pants snapped against his skin, causing him to groan. “…What took you so long?” Taehyung’s thick swallow wasn’t lost on the maknae.

Jungkook had a hand on a towel wrapped hip. Freshly showered, a smaller towel drying strands of his dark hair. He gave a short sniff as Taehyung stared at him as if he’d seen a ghost. The maknae smirked, moving closer to his best friend.

“You know I hate when you make me wait, Tae.” The maknae narrowed dark eyes that trailed down the length of Taehyung’s body.

…and the tight grip that Tae had on the erection tenting his pants.