#Also not plan for this to be my first post but I had tooo

[mingzhen]

NOT A WANT BUT A NEED IT LOOKS SO GOOD HOW DO I

THEY'RE OVER 200 DOLLARS ON EBAY I CAN'T AFFORDDD

[drottni]

LBFAD rewatch observations part 9

1. His little touched expression when Xiao Run says "whats mine is yours, my friends are your friends" 🥺

2. Both of them feeling confused and guilty about Xiao Run and Lady Wanqing and naturally gravitating towards each other. Her saying "I'm in bad moood, chat with me." Him telling her I understand your feelings, I'm feeling them as well. Aahhh. Cutie patooties. 🥰

3. XLH hugging Danyin after realizing it was her because she had missed her!! "This expression, this tone, you used when you used to bully me eeeekkkk!!" *happy baby*

4. Danyin posessing the only brain cell in the entire Mortal Realm Arc and immediately saying "What, why the heck would Xiao Run kill his bride? With his personality? You dum dums planned your whole game on this ?!?"

5. Danyin really said "Gurl I will cut you! Don't test me." And I love her for that.

6. Ronghao using all his master manipulation tricks to guilt Xiao Lanhua but her still hesitating and being brave enough to say "DFQC is not a bad person". 🥺🥺 And it wasn't the threat to Changheng's life or Lady Wanqing's life that finally breaks through to her. It was when Ronghao reveals that DFQC plans on releasing the soldiers to wage war against Shuiyuntian that we begin to see her mind shift. The concept of "one person vs all people" really is at the core of her. (also it was the fact that DFQC lied to her that further pushes her...but gurl you lied too -__-)

7. Earlier, her telling him: "He is Xiao Run not Changeheng, he is not your enemy." And then later when she says I thought you and Xiao Run were friends now! and his reply of "Yes. He is Xiao Run. Not Changheng." *chefs kissess* 🤌🏼🤌🏼

8. Im gonna lose my mind. DFQC yelling at Shangque to find Lady Wanqing and Xiao Run and make sure no mistake happens because Lady Chidi's spirit is the most important thing right now. And then LITERALLY 5 SECOND LATER he kills Lady Wanqing without a second thought because she was about to kill XLH. THIS MAN. THISS MANSSS. He really just says "Xiao Lanhua >>>>>>" over and over and over again.

9. That badass music that usually only plays for DFQC scenes being played for XLH 😍😍😍😍😍

10. I swear they extended Dylan Wang Hedi's eyeliner or gave him even more lashes after the mortal realm arc cuz no way he is looking even more puppy/doe eyed than usual without even trying. Like he has got the "boy you're in love" look all overr him even while talking about politics.

11. The way she peaks out from behind the curtain and looks at him?!? The cute little bright sunshine smile she gives?!?!? The way he looks in her direction expecting her to pop out from there?!?!?? IM DYING THESE 2 KILLING ME.

12. DFQC : Why are you smiling?

Me: BOY why are YOUU smiling like for real boy you have not stopped smiling since this post mortal realm scene started like boy get in control your love is spilling out EVERYWHERE!!! people are tripping and sliding and falling all over it. There are injuries! 😄 I love them.

13. Uhmm him just taking the medicine without protest, taking deep breath, grimacing, then swallowing it down only to look up at her with thr puppiest of EYESSS like loook I did it are you happy?!?!? 💀💀💀💀 im dead

14. XLH LOOKING AT HIM WITH ALL THAT LOVE LIKE GURL STOP IM DEAD PLEASE STOP KILLING ME. Like we have seen so many DFQC gazing at her with love scenes but god this is her first full blown "I am in love with this man" look and it is ETHEREAL!! it is sunshine breaking through the clouds!! I need a gif of it.

15. Ya'll this whole scene seems too damn personal. Like I feel guilty for intruding. Like I should not be here in this room watching these two absolute babies just gaze so softly, and smile these small soft smiles, and bat their pretty lashes at each other, and DFQC stumbling awkwardly after her and then reaching out and holding her hand so tenderly conveying everything he is too shy to say. like this is tooo invasive. This intrusion is a crime.

16. The way he SENSES that she probably heard what they were discussing and is distressed!! The way he immediately goes to her!!! 😭😭😭😭😭

17. "Jieli said you wanted to be alone. I can accompany you" !!!!!! Insert that one Winnie the Pooh quote about Piglet offering to just sit in silence with Pooh when he is feeling down.

18. OH MY GOD CHANGHENG. FIND A BETTER TIME TO POP IN YOU LITTLE MENACE! Do you not see them having a MOMENT! Begone! (DFQC immediately turning the sky stormy and lightening... same honestly-_- fry him up and serve him for dinner King)

[uniarycode]

(long post incoming)

First of all, to answer your questions to the best of my ability:

The epilogue was written by the same team that made season 1 and 2.

I don't know how well it was received by critics, because really in 2000 how many people were specifically critiquing the ending of kids shows? But by fans it had a pretty poor reception.

I don't think the ending had anything tooo hard on subverting expectations, unless maybe you count the plan to pair the main female lead with someone other than the main character.

For the most part the ending feels like one of those "Where are they now" endings of movies "Based on a true story'"

And it feels to me like it was included because they felt they need a "where are they now" ending, regardless of whether that was a good idea or what it meant for the rest of the show.

An epilogue is a tool, and is generally used best when it provides closure and avoids presenting new ideas. The 02 epilogue inserts quite a few new ideas, many of which were based on background ideas the production staff had, and makes the epilogue read more like an excuse for the production team to insert ideas they couldn’t elsewhere rather than a true conclusion of the story.

The epilogue gives everyone a job.

Some of these are what the kids wanted to be at 11, some of them complete character arcs if you convince yourself they do. Some of them....less so.

One of them is based on an in-joke on the production team that doesn't have any reference to the series proper....so brand new idea.

The tomboy of the first season became a fashion designer with traditionally feminine clothing.  I’m not sure how well that played in Japan, but it was not very well received in the west.

Another girl didn’t get a job at all, only talking about being married to one of the other characters.  That went poorly in both Japan and the West, because they released a retcon later giving her a job.

The epilogue drops out of nowhere that “Everyone has a Digimon partner”

Digimon isn’t Pokemon, having a partner is an exception not the rule, and the Japanese term for having a Digimon partner in Adventure universe is literally “Chosen Child.”  Giving one to everyone destroys the magic of it, in the same way Harry Potter doesn’t end with all muggles gaining magic. The exclusivity is part of the fantasy.

In 02, there are at least some themes around their being more than 8 children, and human-digimon relations, but they aren’t super prevalent and giving everyone their own partner still feels a bit new and jarring.

Season one is a portal fiction/Iseka, where the main characters are children of prophecy, destined to save the world. The idea there might be more than 8 of them is mentioned like once, one episode before the finale.  And even that is presented as “This happened once before. according to the legends”

So Digimon going from their special destined thing to something everyone has is very jarring, and ruins a theme some enjoyed.

(there were also complaints about the realities of giving everyone emotion-activated attack helicopters that could grow to the size of a house without notice, but honestly, I think most people lodging that complaint were already mad at the epilogue.)

Random background point with outweighed influence.

You could never tell this from the story itself, the idea that the chosen were not just increasing, but doubling every year was there from the beginning and, according to interviews with the staff, they planned the date of the epilogue to be based on when that exponential grown would surpass the world’s population. 

This allegedly was true from the early days of season one, when more kids having Digimon partners was neither plot nor thematically relevant at all, and even in 02 where you can feasibly convince yourself the addition of more Chosen was a theme, the *rate* of growth was unimportant to anything, but still defines the date of the epilogue.

Why?

And finally, yes shipping.

There were 2 confirmed couples.  One was, as per the above, an intentional subversion of ‘main character gets the girl’.

The second was because the production team liked how well their Voice Actors got along.

So again, not based on the story you just watched.

Meanwhile, none of the most popular couples were confirmed, even in Japanese fandom. (We know this because magazines ran polls at the time asking favorite 'combinations)

There was no way to pair people together at the end that made all shippers happy, that’s a fact of life and time skip epilogues.

But it does circle back around to my first point.  

An epilogue is a tool, and just because you have a tool, doesn’t mean you need to use it.

There’s not really much of anything gained from the inclusion of the epilogue, but there is quite a bit lost. The epilogue works best when you think of it as "Happily ever after with extra steps", so why add the extra steps?

And even if you want an Epilogue, you don't need to jump from when kids are 11 to when they are 36. A year or two will do.

And ignore anyone saying that it’s been retconned by recent films, they are wrong.  Although many fans have mentioned being confused/or less motivated for recent additions based on them being constricted by the epilogue.

OK so I was never part of the Digimon crowd. My knowledge of it consists of memories of episodes I saw when I was like 8 and two movies I saw around the same time (one of which was three movies edited together) so I ask...

Can someone fill me in on the angst with the 02 epilogue? I know it has something to do with shipping, but is there more? Like, is it bad in comparison to the rest of the series? Did a different crew from the ones that made the first season make this one? Was it meant to subvert expectations? Was there something in the subtext? Was it well received by critics but not by fans or was it only western fans that didn't care for it?

Could the more digi-literate fill me in on this? I'd like to know how people feel.

[stubz]

bit of a sequel to my bnha yandere reader post, but you don't necessarily need to read it to make sense of this. Link is here if you wanna read it tho. Also this one isn't too hardcore yandere, neither is the last one but this isn't platonic like the last one

oh and there's swearing and some catcalling, nothing is actually said tho for the catcalling tho

2.2K words

I should have kept my mouth shut, you know you should have simply ignored it, should've just used my breathing skills just like I've practiced but nooo, I had to say something!

I had to open my big mouth and just expose my most guarded secret to the whole goddamn world!

...Well, not the whole world, just whoever watches the news. Nobody watches the news nowadays so we're fine, yeah only old people watch the news...Except they were there so that means there were tons of people watching!! And there was that idiot who wouldn't stop recording everything on his phone which means it has to be on the internet now!

It's official, your life was over. Your villain life that is. After all, who would take you seriously after learning the fact that you have a major crush on the entire class 1-A from U.A.???

It's embarrassing enough when the truth comes out about your crush but it's even worse when the person who outed you was yourself!!

Gah! Why didn't I just "friendly fire" that bastard?!

And why didn't you indeed, in fact, you have experienced plenty of situations like this before and every time you've managed to control yourself. But this time...this time was different.

Let's go back, shall we?

You are a villain, a pretty well-known one too. You started young, in middle school, and built yourself a reputation among heroes and villains, spreading the message that you'll fight anyone for anyone, for the right price of course. But basically, you're muscle for hire, you'll give someone a good beating, kill off a gang or two, or sometimes you're just hired to collect money.

Anyways, your latest job was to be part of a bank robbery just in case some strong heroes came instead of the ones who usually patrol the area. Things were fine, everything went according to plan, everything was fine. Until the heroes showed up.

They were right to hire you because instead of the lower-ranked heroes, they were your little heroes. Class 1-A of U.A. looking gorgeous as always swooped in and were quick to secure the area and evacuate the civilians. Eventually leaving only you and the small gang of villains.

Sadly because of your presence, the gang members felt cocky and all decided to do some trash-talking. Most of what was said were childish taunts or jabs at the little heroes' young age or lack of experience clearly the idiot hasn't been watching the news lately. But as the fight went on the taunts and jabs became less childish and more insulting and... rather untasteful.

And while threats and taunts aren't anything new regarding your darlings, this, this catcalling, was. You f*cking hated it. You f*cking hated them.

Grabbing one of the perverts by the legs you used her as a bat and hit another pervert back into the bank. Another 5 home runs and you had them all in the building, from there you got to work.

A total of a minute passes before Deku, Bakugo, and Todoroki come in to see what is happening. While Bakugo tries to fight you, you quickly make it clear that you have no intention of doing so.

"Darling, could you please just give me a moment to deal with these perverted bastards first before I spar with you?"

"Dar—?!"

"Midoriya, Todoroki, loves, could you please bring Bakugo with you and leave the room, please? I wouldn't want my little heroes tooo... f*ck I forgot to censor my pet names—F*CK I SAID PET NAMES!!"

...Midoriya had a radio, courtesy of Yaoyorozu...and she was standing next to a news crew when listening...also Jiro and Shoji basically parroted your exact words. Not that anyone needed their help for that last bit, which you screamed to the flipping heavens.

Plus the villains you were giving a beating did a run for it thus reigniting your hatred for them making you run outside the bank and have another slip up. Curse your goldfish brain

"Get back here you shitheads!"

"SCREW YOU LAST! AND FUCK YOU, YOU SHIT UGLY-ASS HEROES!"

"...what did you say? What. DA. FUCK. DID. YOU. CALL. MY. DARLINGS?! NO, COME BACK HERE! APOLOGIZE YOU FUCKERS!"

there was a news crew right in front of you

"...aaAAND THERE YOU HAVE IT, VIEWERS! Creati, is there anything you have to say about this sudden confession from the violent mercenary villain Last, aka Y/N?! Oh! Chargebolt you as well! What do you two have to say?!"

"I-I don't, we both, we all—"

"Uhhhhh"

And so that's the story of how you outed yourself to your crushes on national television.

Oh shit they're playing it again, this is the fifth time today! Don't you people have anything better to do than ruin my nonexistent love life?!

Frustrated you turned off the T.V and went on your phone. Bad idea

Oh my god I'm a meme now, why, why are there so many of them?? And there's people reacting to the footage? ...well at least most of them think I'm a good match for most of them

....! Wait, there's a video posted by Mina here

You played the video and saw Mina looking at the camera, looks like she used her phone.

"Hi everybody! As you all probably know by now, I—or well we, have an admirer who basically just confessed to us.

Now I've had a few admirers before but never one that was...a villain, heh...

I'm making this video to let everyone that we don't approve of Last's crimes or violent behavior and that no they have never contacted us, well, as far as we know.

But also I'm making this video to say...thank you, thank you Last for calling out those pervs and while none of us condone violence, thanks for giving them a good beating!"

A hand swipes the camera from her and shows Kirishima

"Yeah, I mean although we learned to ignore stuff like that...it doesn't mean we're not affected by it. So thanks for taking care of them! It was super manly!"

"Totally awesome what you did there!" piped in Kaminari and Sero

"HEY! TELL THAT BASTARD THAT NEXT TIME I'LL WIPE THE FLOOR WITH THEM! See how they like our little "spars" now!"

the camera turns again, this time towards the kitchen where Bakugo, Midoriya, Todoroki and Tsu make food.

"Kacchan there's no need for you to shout, the camera is right there."

"You know this explains why we're always considerably less injured than other heroes after fighting them."

"It would make sense considering that they have a crush on us, ribbit."

"Hey give me back my phone!"

Mina is on screen once again.

"So anyways, we just wanted to say thanks for dealing with the catcalling."

"Mina don't forget the deal!"

"Oh right, thanks Momo! We also have a deal with you! Based on your reaction and pet names it seems like you might actually like us, so we have a proposition for you!

If you return the stolen money and go an entire month without doing any crime you will get a reward from us. But only if you don't do any crime! No robbery, killing, mercenary contract deals, or illegal underground fighting.

So if you follow the deal you'll get a reward from us and then can accept another deal just like this one but with a better reward. Got it? Okay, bye everyone!"

and with that the students said goodbye to the camera and the video ended.

[4 days later in the dorms lounge]

Sitting on the couch munching on some chips is Mina, enjoying her Saturday afternoon.

'I wonder if they'll actually take the deal...probably not. I mean what villain could "love" us enough to give back all that money AND up crime for a whole month? Eh, it was worth a shot tho'

"Mina turn on the T.V!" shouts Sato running from the boy's side of the dorm. Behind him are all the other boys.

"News channel, hurry!" and now comes Jiro followed by the rest of the girls

"Uh, okay...what."

"Just 20 minutes ago mercenary villain Last arrived at All Might's statue and perched on top of it holding a large sack of sorts. Police and nearby pro heroes have arrived but they still continue to perch on top of the statute. No threats or demands have been, in fact, they haven't even said anything all this time."

the camera shows the villain sitting on the statue's shoulders with a large sack over their shoulder.

"What are they doing?" murmured Toru

"Beats me." replied Ojiro

"Wait, they're saying something!"

"Took you long enough! I thought I was gonna be here all day. HEY! You, cameraman, you filming me? ...well?"

the camera nodded up and down

"Good. Keep filming or else. Ahem, hello my darlings! Did you miss me? Well, I missed you! Sorry it took me so long to respond but I had a little trouble getting it all back. Anywho, here you go officers, $50,000 in cash!"

They threw out wads of money towards them.

"Sorry but I had to use a bit of my own cause I spent some of it...ookay a lot of it, but at least half of it is from the bank. Think of the other half as a charitable donation."

"Holy smokes, look, it is from the bank. At least half of it."

"Welp, that's half of the deal fulfilled. All I have to do now is stay good for, hmmm another 26 days? Then you'll give me my reward, right?"

they smiled straight at the camera, a smile that while it was supposed to be charming was actually downright terrifying. Like a predator that's about to catch its prey.

"Which brings me to this. I actually have a proposition for all of you, don't worry I'm not going back on our deal. I won't commit any crimes for the next 26 days. My proposition for all of you is that if I help you by giving you some interesting information, I get to choose my reward. Don't worry, it won't be anything unreasonable and I am open to compromise.

Now, of course, I can't disclose anything about my fellow villains, that'd be terrible business etiquette, but fortunately, that courtesy doesn't apply to corrupt politicians, police officers...or heroes. You'd be surprised by how many of them hired me, specifically for my specialty in violence.

If you accept my deal simply select yes or no, on the burner phone stuck to Mineta's head. You have 30 minutes starting now."

"Holy crap there really is a phone stuck to his head."

"B-but how...I was...my room...all day..." the terrified boy whimpered.

While Kaminari attempted to calm down Mineta the others discussed their options.

"So, what do we do? Do we say yes?" asked Sero glancing around

"And let them choose their reward? Yeah that's a hard no." argued Toru

"But they did say it's negotiable so maybe it wouldn't too bad, plus so far they've followed our deal. I mean they even used their own money to do so." interjected Uraraka

"The problem is that the information could be or not be actually useful. It's a 50/50 chance." added Tokoyami.

"OH SH—!"

"Well that was fast!"

"Sorry! It was an accident I swear!"

"Sparky what the hell did you do?!"

"...really? I have to say I was not expecting that! My little heroes said yes. Well a deal's a deal and you know what? Since I wasn't expecting this at all I decided to...go big or go home with the information. Now without further adieu, catch!"

Reaching into their sack one last time they throw out numerous papers into the sky along with dozens of little cases.

The cameraman's reporter catches a paper and one of the little cases. The camera focuses in.

"Dear viewers I can't believe what I'm seeing! On this page alone is a list of numerous jobs Last has done for congressman Yamato! And this case here is labelled with the Angelic hero's name Hope, inside is a flash drive. Judging from what the papers say it most likely contains some rather shady and unsavoury affairs the hero partook in!"

A whistle can be heard off-screen. the camera swiftly turns back to the villain

"It's time for me to go now my darlings! I look forward to seeing you all in 26 days when you come to give me my reward! Of course, I'll have to think of one first. Don't worry, I won't rush anything! I'm happy to go at whatever pace you all agree on. Until then!"

and with that, the young villain left while the police and heroes were too occupied with gathering the papers and hard drives.

"...I think I speak for all of us when I say that this backfired big time." grumbled Mina

"Agreed" groaned the class

[larentsaloud]

thyme being unhinged

thyme’s most savage moments

preamble:

so this post is for those who are able to distinguish between a fictional character and real life. we don’t condone violence here. we don’t accept thyme x ren x gorya hate. this compilation is to commemorate the most savage thyme moments we love to hate.

in no particular order:

thyme beating the **** out of his classmate. but what was really chilling was his explanation behind it. he offers his “followers” opportunity to destroy others at no cost. no repercussions. this deranged moment has it all. animal print. thick gangsta neck chain, messy bed hair, scrumptious lips. disdain. contempt. brutal. 

(side bar this shot, the first introduction to f4 is spectacular. to the far left, ren adjusting his blazer, the slightly opened white shirt. everyone in uniforms. they are not. thyme being the ring leader you can just tell since th coat he is wearing literally compares to king’s robe. pure hell. now look at mj and kavin: on top. cropped out here. kavin staring elsewhere sort of detached, his hands in pockets, glasses indicating some kind of smartness I dare say if we are allowed to assume glasses equal bookworms. are we? is it discrimination? I wear glasses too. dunno. but still part of it. but kind of not. mj about to sit down and get on the tech. his drowsy eyed look. deceitful, since he is the only one with half brain here.)

everything about is chef’s kiss. the smirk. the pompous walk. he owns the jerk™️, I could not take my eyes off him. I loathe him. it’s visceral. 

thyme basically laughing that the poor guy has lost all his evidence. chills. 

he is enjoying himself. you can just tell. 

I see no regrets. all I am getting is someone who is mentally ill. sociopath. absolute barbarian. 

when punched he cherishes the moment revenge calls. 

someone is looking forward to a blood bath. can't relate. 

aaaaanddd scene. that would've hurt. 

anyone said violence? these f*ckers seems to be j*zzing their pants with excitement. honestly how do these kids study? 

deranged is understatement at this point. maniacs. the lot of them. 

yes. he is into it. 

the king and his unhinged kingdom. bunch of crackers. 

they want this. the plebs are also into it. 

see what I mean? the fact gory decided to stand up to THIS thyme? ufff. she was literally putting her whole life out there. this boi LOCO.

thyme going ape shit when he sees ren hugging gorya. the menacing look, his demeanour from the stern brow to the execution of finer details like kicking the bins in the aftermath to let off steam. the way he plans to beat the crap out of the guy because he triggers the ‘cheating’ wound he has just freshly developed (albeit that there’s no cheating per se, but he caught his crush in a lie to be precise. terminology matters.) it’s the way he cottons on to the guy and his radar goes off. a hone wrecker. player. annihilation mode activated. and we know hurt people hurt people. but wow. that was something. on one had i sort of rejoiced he smashed the guy who hurt gorya (the s/a happened with this particular individual) and on the other im like trembling. is he gonna end him??? mj and kavin are out of sorts. what a scene. he screams at ren and calls him a shit friend like the whole thing is one hot big mess until gorya drags him away.

ultimate menace. betrayed. 

oops about to be obliterated. 

he spots his target. someone who just happens to be cheating. 

did you call me girlfriend? 

cos I'm busy. busy being angry. sad. hurt. 

sight of ren and girlfriend procure a glitching eye. 

thymeeeeee! 

one bad bad tiger  

idk how she does it. I would've checked out about two episodes ago...

the eyes though. 

thyme being an absolute savage king when tesla misspoke. buttons were pressed and our impulse control trouble maker is back in the zone.

thyme flipping out at random person after a car chase? first episode. what was thaaaaaaaat. we moved on from that tooo quick.

thyme high key abducting and stalking gorya in order to bribe her into an official apology. just— what goes on in that boys head???

thyme very much requesting that hana LICKS his shoe.

this doesn't look like it could have a positive outcome. I mean in how many languages do I have say that this menacing look scares the Jesus out of me. you just know you are about to be destroyed and the devil will relish in it. 

I can hear him calculate the punishment. hmm. a girl. what to do?

the trademark lemme demolish any semblance of sanity in your life look.

the: you should have known better look. 

to be honest he is not wrong? thyme for once you used that brain cell correctly. albeit very briefly. 

the disgust. lord he pulls these faces like it is a given. 

the: you can looketh but cannot touch move. we understand thyme. I hate it when ppl randomly touch me too. shame you sort of like to beat people up, cos otherwise we could really have something special like idk. a pen pal would be nice. 

no, because what was he thinking? it was not dirty that much I know. more like. what can you do? I don't need you. I don't want you peasant. you feel me? 

and the idea is conceived. 

lick it he says. 

his satisfied face. he knows what he has done. cruelty at it best. worst. bonkers. bonkers bloke. 

high alert thyme. a new player has emerged. 

the first time he laid eye son her. critically inspects. intrigued. who dis?

NO BUT WHAT IS THAT FACE???

must.inspect. up. close. 

<she said what? did she just object to me?>

I can hear his con-fury-sion. can you?

someone is having a hard time time hearing no. 

SHOOKETH. 

the mad eyes are back...

aaaaand he has a plan. we are all screwed.

shit. 

I am intimated from over here. like mother like son. 

thyme insisting red card stands and fighting ren at a party. god i can’t believe the universe rewarded him with a KISS from the prettiest girl? huh?

thyme literally fighting and punching the ONLY friends he has…

to be continued. too many pics my sluts. 

D.

[empress-simps]

Hi I saw your post about haikyuu and you taking request, can I request an angst to fluff poly with kuroo and kenma, where kuroo and reader are dating and kenma really like reader so he confess then there's fluff,,,,, if you're not comfortable that's ok, thank you tho!

Ack im so excited for this- THANKS FOR REQUESTING! This is also my first ever poly fic and it might be a pretty long one since I kinda got carried away oop- I hope this is what you had in mind!👉👈

Idiot

Kenma x Gn!Reader x Kuroo (Poly)

Warnings: Angst with a fluff at the end to make up for it

Synopsis: Kenma tried to hide his feelings as he saw the two people he cares about is dating one another, but his pent up feelings made itself known.

"Tetsuroo!"

Kenma heard your voice echoing through the gym, he was just about to warm up as he puts his switch in his bag when he felt your presence.

"How many times have I told you to take a break!? You're sick!" You scolded their Captain, already changed from your uniformq into the Nekoma Volleyball Club's tracksuit as you pulled him by the ear.

"Im fine! I can totally play! Kenma tell Y/n!" He shouted for his friend, desperately trying to participate in the club activities.

Kenma couldn't really focus on what his friend was saying as his eyes were transfixed to you, taking in your features and just basking in your presence. All he managed to muster up is a nod and hum.

You sighed, shaking your head "Go home. Don't drag Kenma in this. I want you to rest, the sooner you get better the sooner you can play volleyball. Understand?" You spoke, voice laced with authority as you being their manager kicked in.

"Ughh, im so jealouuus! I want someone to care for me like that too!" Yamamoto sighed as they all looked at yours and kuroo's bantering frame. "Seeing how sweet they are makes me wanna throw up." He added as they saw their captain trying to woo you into making him play.

"Then who's gonna take you home? Just come with me-" Kuroo persisted but you just merely cut him off. "No. I'm not here just as your s/o but also the manager for the team. I need to perform my managerial duties as well as check up on them too, you know. I'll just go home with Kenma." You said, still not backing down. The entire Nekoma team still watching you both. Kuroo let out a huff and raised his hands. "Fine fine.. you win.." he grumbles as he grabs his bag.

You shot him a cute smile and waved as he left the gymnasium, "Love you tooo!" Once you made sure he already left, you turned towards what was left of the Nekoma Team.

"Now, have you all finished doing your warm- ups?"

Volleyball practice has come to an end as you found yourself walking alongside Kenma who was busy playing a game. The sound effects of the game fills the deafening silence between you two.

You glanced over him, taking in his features while he was completely unaware. Too focused in his game to even care about his surroundings, you sometimes even have to pull him when he was getting dangerously close to the lamp post or was about to trip over something.

Unbeknowst to you, Kenma was far from being focused. His mind was in shambles, thoughts darting back and forth in his head making him loose focus and actually getting defeated in the game. He tried his best to calm his nerves by gripping on his nintendo switch as he weighed the pros and cons if he was going to confess to you right now.

"Uh.. Y/n".

He called out softly, his eyes widened slightly. He was not meant to say that out loud. You stopped humming as you turned to your side "What is it Kenma?"

Kenma's eyes darting back and forth at his surroundings, trying to find the words to say as his voice got caught in his throat. You looked at him more closely, leaning to observe his features. "Kenma.. are you okay?" You said worriedly, putting a hand on the underside of his jaw to check the temperature.

Before Kenma could even stop himself, those words that he wants to tell you throughout the years you've known each other made it's way out of his mouth.

"I like you a lot."

It was like time has stopped, your hands went stiff as your eyes widened, you tried to play off your iitial shock with a laugh "Kenma, you wouldn't have stuck by me and tetsu's side if you didn't like us." You teased, trying to ease the akward tension between you.

"No, I love you."

At this point, Kenma wants to bash his head against a concrete wall. Since when did he ever got the balls to be bold?

Your hand found its way to your sides as your mouth opened and closed, trying to find the words to say, meanwhile he just stared at the luminescent light his game was giving off.

"Kenma..."

You started, unsure of what to say to the setter "I-i didn't know you felt that way.." You said softly, the feelings you had for him that is tucked away slowly resurfacing.

"It's fine.. You're dating Kuroo anyways.. I just.. felt the need to get it out of my chest." He waved it off, trying to act indifferent about it but what you didn't know was his heart was shattering as the uncomfortable silence grew between you both..

You took in a sharp breath as you stared up at the sky, trying to find the word to say between the setter and you. "Does Kuroo know about this?" You asked him, still looking up and avoiding his gaze.

You can't fall for him again, you already have the most caring and amazing boyfriend that happens to be his bestfriend.

"No. I don't know what will happen if I ever told him.." His voice growing softer by second, you finally grabbed his shoulders and looked at him.

"Kenma.. I don't want things changing between us, you already know im dating Kuroo and.. you're a great friend. I love you to bits okay?"

Kenma looked down as he tried to hide his tears, the words displayed on the device mocking him.

Defeat.

You sat in your bed, on the phone with Kuroo.

"Kenma.. He said something to me earlier." You started as you heard the shuffling of sheets from the other line. "And that is?" He asked a bit intrigued.

"He said he liked me." You dropped the bomb on the unsuspecting Kuroo, the line went silent for a few seconds before he spoke up. "You told me you liked him right?"

You looked down as you fiddled with the hem of your shirt, "Yes." . Kuroo asked again, "Do you still have feelings for him?" You sighed "Tetsuroo.. I'm dating you now-"

"Just answer me."

The three of you grew up in the same neighbourhood, you became bestfriends with both and initially fell for Kenma. You didn't plan to tell anyone but Kuroo found out and pratically forced you to spill. A few years later you began dating Kuroo, him confessing and you accepting it. You thought your feelings for Kenma were long gone but here you are, back to square one.

"I thought I got over it.. but it resurfaced.." You mumbled, tearing up and hoping that a fight wouldn't ensue.

Kuroo sighed, "Okay."

You looked at your phone then pressed it up again on your ear. "Okay what?" Your voice laced with a little bit of panic.

"Okay."

"What do you mean okay Kuroo Tetsuroo!?" You asked him frantically, afraid he was going to end it with you over the phone.

"I just need time to think." He said as the line went dead. You dropped your phone beside your bed as you let a few tears fall.

The next few days had been rough, Kuroo wouldn't answer your calls and avoided you as you have been trying to avoid Kenma who is in the same class as you.

"Still not okay Y/n-chan?" Yaku walked alongside you as he checked over you. You sighed as you shook your head, eyes puffy from crying sessions you partake in the evening

"Kuroo didn't broke up with you over the phone did he? I'll wrangle hi-"

"I didn't, no reason to beat me up." The voice you know all too well spoked up as your posture stiffened, not looking back.

You felt him grab your wrist and lead you outside "Let's talk." Your breath hitched as you saw Kenma outside, by the looks of it, he was waiting for you and kuroo to show up.

"Now that we're all here, let's make things clear." Kuroo started, "Kenma and I have talked about it. Don't worry, we didn't fight or somethibg like that." He chuckled

"Since you both like us we came up with a solution.." Kenma said softly, eyes still not meeting yours. You kinda felt guilty for avoidibg him.

"Why don't you date both of us?" Kuroo asked, his hands finding it's way to Kenma's which definetly didn't go unnoticed by you.

"Do you guys like each other..?" You asked, still looking at their intertwined hands. "Yea, we talked about it and realized our feelings." Kuroo said as he held your haid and waited for a reaction.

You smiled and squeezed his hand "Good. I don't think I can date you both knowing you'll probably compete over my gorgeus self."

Kuroo laughed while Kenma has a small smile on his face "Kenma.. I'm sorry for ignoring you for the past days..please forgive me?" You asked, taking his hands to yours. What you didn't expect was a light kiss on the cheek, "I think you know the answer."

"Oya? What about me?" Kuroo pouted, asking for a kiss, Kenma complied but you just ran away, laughter echoing in the now empty halls.

"Y/n my kisseeeees!" Kuroo yelled after you, as you relentlessly teased him while running.

Kenma looked at his boyfriend and s/o while sighing, a small smile plastered on his face. What a bunch of idiots.

His idiots.

>> Nekoma Masterlist

>> Main Masterlist

[iam-kristofer]

Top Surgery Recover

4.5.2017 Very thirsty, drain tubes hurt, vest is hard to breathe in.  

4.6.2017 - Morning Easier to breathe in the vest, chest is still hurting, still very thirsty Tip 1: Work the crap out of your arm muscles before hand, practice getting in and out of bed without using your arms. Tip 2: Make sure you have a caretaker that is willing to wipe you, even if you don’t need it (Thank you, Rae)

4.6.2017 - 4:13 pm Chest is hurting, feels like I am bruised and swollen (probably am).  Not too much pain other than that Tip 3: Gatorade, Chapstick, and straws are a must.

4.7.2017 - 5:56 am Feeling pretty sick today, woke up having to puke.  My entire back hurts.  Chest is feeling sore when getting up and down, but only on the left side (odd). 

4.7.2017 - 5:51 pm Muscles are stiff in the shoulders and neck Tip 4: Neck pillow, neck pillow, neck pillow

4.7.2017 - 7:08 pm Rae bought me new clothes and I realized that the fact that I can wear any shirt I want now, hasn’t sunk in. 

4.8.2017 - 11:03 am Have yet to have a bowel movement.  Not too much pain today though, going shopping later.  Drain tubes are the most painful part so far.  Tip 5: Back scratcher is a must as well

4.9.2017 - 11:21 am Cannot wait to for the drain tubes to get removed on Tuesday.  Again, not much pain, but still taking the Percocet.  I can feel pressure when I touch certain parts of my chest.  I’m excited to find out where the heck my nipples actually are.  I think I over did it yesterday, I will be asleep most of the day today.  Tip 6: Of course get up and move around, go out, have fun, but be careful not to over do it.  Remember, you just had your chest cut open. 

4.10.2017 - 7:38 am The itching is finally hitting.  My chest is so itchy and there’s nothing I can do. 

4.11.2017 - Removing the Drains Still so much left to do.  Changing bandages twice a day, vest for another 10 days, no lifting over 10 points, no swimming or roller coasters for 8 more weeks.

Going in they undid my vest, peeled off my foam (which hurt so much due to my hair), and pulled out the drains.  The nurse I had through Dr. Medalie, Mary, was extremely nice, helpful, and efficient.  The foam was the worst part, and the drains were...interesting to say the least.  It didn’t hurt, she took them out very quickly while I was distracted, but there was a residual burning sensation.  The whole process took less than 5 minutes (2021 and Rae still has the video of the entire appointment somewhere). When I got home, it was the first time I was able to take a shower in a week.  I have to say a huge shout out to my girlfriend for bathing me (and emptying my drains, sponge bathing me, and taking absolutely amazing care of me).  My chest felt...weird.  It felt like it needed more pressure on it, it was...I don’t have any way to explain it.  If you have surgery, just plan on when the vest comes off, to have an extremely odd feeling.  Overall, I am very happy to be flat chested now.  Very, very happy to be rid of my breasts. 

4.12.2017 - 11:54 pm I have never been so itchy in my entire life.  I have no tips. I am just itchy. My entire chest is just one solid itch.  Is it my hair growing back? Nerves reconnecting? I do not know, but I am so itchy. 

4.13.2017 - 5:20 pm My vest feels really tight today.  It’s causing me a lot of pain and discomfort, but I have to wear it to keep any swelling down.  My incisions are aching so badly down by my armpit and my entire chest is still just one massive itch.  On the plus side, I believe I have most of the feeling back in my chest, which is unusual, but fantastic (or would be if I wasn’t in a lot of pain today). 

4.17.2017 - 4:28 pm I haven’t updated in awhile, my bad.  Nerves are making pathways, so there are random shocks of pain.  My drain holes are finally healed and I can wear deodorant (thank God).  My nipples are beginning to scab and the scabs are peeling off, and it’s disgusting (and mildly scary, because, I mean, what if tooo much comes off? I don’t know). I can almost dress myself. I can’t tie my own shoes, and I still need some help with shirts.  Showering myself isn’t happening until I can trust myself with my nipples.  The best is causing most of my pain at this point, but my chest finally feels less weird without it on.  Thankfully, I only have to wear it until Friday night. The tape on my incisions is coming off Wednesday, so I’ll hopefully figure out some helpful tips for that fun adventure.  I’m still sleeping on my back every night and it’s the most annoying thing.  I’ve also decided that I do have all the sensation back in my chest besides a small chunk by my left nipple, and the incisions are iffy.  All in all, I’m doing a lot better than I thought I would doing at almost 2 weeks. 

4.20.2017 - 12:37 pm Tape is finally off. Thank God.  Tip 7: When taking the tape off, I found the best way to do it was to shower, then baby oil the crap out of that stuff. Literally soak it in baby oil, use a cotton ball to wet everything you’re pulling up while you’re pulling it up.  Go slowly, keeping it lathered in baby oil.  Go from the other direction if you get stuff. 

5.9.2017 - 9:14 am I’ve been back at work for about 2 weeks, and I feel fine.  I have almost full motion of my arms and very little pain.  I’ve been living more than 10 pounds with seemingly no problems.  Overall, the healing as been a lot faster than I thought it would be. 

5.7.2021 - 5:19 am I am officially 4 years post op, and my chest is great. I do have a few comments.  - When I stretch really big, I do feel my scars stretching.  Although I know that they’re not just going to rip open, I get scared. It’s an odd feeling.  - I do have almost all feeling back.  The only spots without it is still that one chunk by my left armpit.  It’s odd, if I press on it, my muscle can feel the pressure, but my skin has very little feeling.  - Nipples.  My left nipple is great. My right nipple ended up with a hair follicle under it, which I may end up getting removed one day, but it’s not a huge deal at this point. Nipples are very weird. I can feel them...sort of, but the feeling isn’t the same as it used to be.  It’s no longer a sexual feeling. It’s doesn’t feel like someone is touching my nipples. I’m more into just having my chest rubbed at this point.  I’m not sure how else to explain that. 

[tehohaews]

hellooo!! 💛💛

♣️ i‘m pretty sure i still remember our first interaction, i wonder if we have the same thing in mind lol

love youuu 💕💕

Lara bestieee 😘😘💞💞💞 ily tooo letsgooo

You’re my: sweet summer sunshine marshmallow rainbow friend 💞💞

How I met you: soooooooo yeahhhhhhhhh THIS is the only one that I dont remember exactly. I remember the day you followed me when you were pang-wave and had that earnpear icon and i was like why is this gifted blog following me 🤡 so i didnt follow you back then. But then you started rbing 2g and itsay posts and i was like OMG the only two shows I've watched in my life my beloved, let me go follow her and then I did. And then you changed to atotsphutian and I was like what is this a toast show 🥱 i do not understand the hype, and then i saw one ep and 🤪🤪🤪 the rest is history. So yeahh i saw you a lot in the dash cause of the atots train back then and you were also close with quan, and I was close with quan but i dont think we interacted properly before? So after that gmm burning down post quan made (the one i mentioned in the previous ask) i think we grew closer after that AND you had the audacity to post an atots fmv for my birthday 😭😭😭😭 how can I never not love you sm 😭😭 but also also please do tell me if you remember the exact interaction 😵

Why I follow you: You're a cupcake but also I think everyone follows you cause you have everything in your blog 😵 how are you so updated always

Your blog is: you rb often about the 3 shows i rb so it's perfect for me 💞💞

Your URL is: SUPERIOR URL. ATOTS MY BELOVED PHUTIAN MY BELOVED HORNBILLS HORNBILLS HORNBILLS

Your icon is: ehehheehhehe WHO DAT

A random fact I know about you: is this even random fhdjjd but WHY are you everywhere. I say atots world domination but really its like lara world domination 😩😩😩 also yeah you're learning thai and HAD PLANS to study in Thailand wth name one place you hadnt been or didnt plan on going to

General opinion: cute cupcake sunshine marshmallow but ik irl you are evil and sarcastic 🥱🥱🥱

A random thought I have: hmmmm i hope you’re studies are going well you seem busy all the time 💞💞💞

[melanoradrood]

I know this is tooo far away right now when we are just at the prologue but please please please write the corset opening/removing (whatever) scene in Dramione Bridgerton AU!! When I saw that scene I just zoomed in my Dramione OTP..I want to read it. I hope I don't annoy you with my request..but you are combining two awesome fandoms and since I can't write as well as you I thought I'll make a request!

LMAO okay so! I’m actually writing Episode by Episode. In that, I am currently working on Episode 1. Episode 2 has already been fully plotted out with full notes. Episode 3 is currently bullet points, as is Episode 4. Episodes 5+ are currently just... a paragraph.

BUT.

My intention is to release Episode by Episode, in that I announce Episode 1 will be released the week of ___________ and then every other day, I’ll upload the Episode... and then we take a week or two break, and then the next Episode.

Why? Because my ADHD brain is pleased by this. But also because I don’t want you guys waiting a thousand years. AND because I’m actually planning this now.

I will say that you will, uhhhh have the first chapter.....

I don’t want to use the word soon, but with the move and all, life has settled TREMENDOUSLY. I’ve had a house guest all week helping me with my kids so that I can unpack, so my writing time has been very short, BUT! The first Chapter of Episode 1 is written. I’m starting on Chapter 2 today. ( there’s 4 chapters per episode there about )

So, this is a rant and doesn’te ven answer your question I’m sorry it’s early.

THE CORSET SCENE.

THE. CORSET. SCENE.

Listen. LISTEN. I’m going to be including an Author’s note that talks about how she should be wearing a chemise underneath her corset, or stays - I haven’t stopped and studied the scene enough yet to figure out which one it was but I’m pretty sure they were stays, ANYWAYS.

There will be an author’s note about how this is not appropriate regency/georgian attire..........

And then I’m going to write 3000 words about Draco Malfoy carefully unlacing every single piece of Hermione Granger’s corset, including explicit details about his fingers brushing her skin, Hermione gasping at each touch, her body prickling with goosebumps, his breath on the back of her neck, and the way he basically then falls to the ground at her feet in worship to roll down her stockings while looking up at her otherwise naked body through hooded eyes...................

The whole chapter will probably just be him undressing her.

There’s like three scenes that I’m EXCEPTIONALLY delighted for. One is a conversation that will be happening between Draco and Theo. The second is the final resolution conversation at the end of Episode 8. The last???? 

THAT WEDDING NIGHT.

I got you, anon. I GOT YOU. WE ARE GONNA LIVE OUR BEST LIVES.

edit : jus tlooked at the gifset that just came out of my queue and was reminded of that scene - i’ve plotted out the draco telling hermione to call him by his name scene, and y’all. YALL. I may actually just be found in the discord chat screaming about it for days in the lead up to me posting it. it’s......... it’s so good.

[drethanramslay]

you've written SO many amazing fics-- which one is your favorite? ps. I love you :)

Ayy thanks for the ask Celi ❤❤ Love you tooo

And that is one tough question lmao but its something like this:

1. Voicemails (Ethan X MC): That mini-series is like my baby and I spent so much time brainstorming and planning. I even made its own Spotify Playlist lmao. I think that was one of my turning points as a writer 😊

2. Roses also have thorns (Aurors X MC): Well this was the first fanfiction I had written and to this day I'm pretty proud of what I have written. I love the plot twists and the way I wrote Iris and Aurora. Gosh I miss Rory 🥺 (OG people will know hehe)

3. In My Head (Oliver X MC): It was actually a song based fic and the idea struck me when I was cooking breakfast and listening to songs heheh. I like the longing and angst in that and I swear PB did him dirty 😔

4. A funny thing called Fate (Bryce X MC): I know I have recently started writing this series but I thoroughly enjoy writing about the slow burn between Braisha (Courtesy @bratzlahela ) And yeah their dynamic is something new and refreshing

5. Home (Ethan X MC): Well, I haven't posted this yet but I love how I have written the entire fic AND LEMME TELL YOU AND @starrystarrytrouble WILL TESTIFY THAT PB LITERALLY WROTE WHAT I WROTE TO THE T But for real, it is again something I enjoyed writing

Honourable mentions: October Eyes, Lows, Gone with the Wind and Touch (Yes my kinktober entry because I think I have definitely improved in writing smut muahahha)

[multicouple-lover]

Hiii so im gonna post my stories on here I also have a wattpadd account and a Instagram under the same user name tooo

MACDESI the lunch where they got together

So Mac and Desi planned to have lunch to tell each other why Desi owed Jack and what happened in Cairo. 2 days after So Mac was getting ready to meet Desi at Burger Bar for lunch and Mac and Desi got there at the same time and ordered and Desi started on how she owed jack then Mac explained Cairo and then they left and went back to Macs place. they were alone and they started talking about there love life then Desi came out and just said she liked Mac and Mac said he liked her to then they kissed and took it to the bedroom where they were having fun for about 2 hours which seemed like 20 minutes to them they then fell asleep. Desi woke up first and looked beside him and saw mac laying there and she just smiled and went to make breakfast for them since they had the day off. Mac woke up and felt next to him and saw desi wasn't there he looked around and saw her clothes and then saw his shirt draw open he automatically knew where she was because 1. the shirt draw and 2. he smelt food so he went to the kitchen where he saw her making breakfast he then said

M: morning sunshine what for breakfast? While he went up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her she smiled and said D: morning sleepy head it's a surprise!! M: well is it almost done then D: yess it is now go pour us some drinks and get some plates out M: ok He kisses her and goes sets the table. She finishes breakfast and serves it to Mac D; breakfast is ready M: oo what do we have D: eggs and bacon M: well they look good so lets eat D: good I'm starving

They start eating and talking about everything mainly about how long they had feelings for each other they got done eating and Mac got a brilliant idea and said M:hey will you wanna go out tomorrow night and take it from there D: ok for now lets just go back to sleep ;)

The End

[migleefulmoments]

Debunking ahead: Tinhats historically believe Darren was FreePavarotti (mleigh69*tumblr*com/post/126280604185/why-do-people-think-darren-is-free-pavarotti). He isn't. Dominic Tracy (nee Barnes) stated the account was owned by a fan in Boston (www*masslive*com/television/2011/03/glee_exclusive_dominic_barnes*html) which was followed-up by an interview with with said Boston fan who owns it (www*masslive*com/television/2011/03/glee_exclusive_mr_boston_speak*html). As usual, tinhats bleat it was PR.

Ooohhh I love this....this is tooo delicious.   

***************************************************************** 

akf-ighting asked:Why do people think Darren is Free Pavarotti?

@mleight69: 

There are quite a few reasons - some screen captured - others not

but all seem to lead to the same conclusion - despite PR attempts to “prove” it otherwise

the truth is hard to hide when it doesn’t want to be hidden

This was a fun exchange that pav jumped in on:

THIS ONE IS A PERSONAL FAVORITE:

if the above doesn’t scream Darren’s voice to you - nothing will.

And there was a third tweet from a female friend (can’t recall who) who told him to watch which account he was tweeting from and called him “birdbrain”

This was an interesting post:

on December 10th, there were three consecutive tweets. I have all three in my phone saved. 11:10: @DarrenCriss I was gonna hop in the shower but then I decided to do jumping jacks in there instead. and then at 11:15: @DarrenCriss I was gonna hop in a cab but I realized there was no room in there for it. Plus I had nowhere to go. Sorry cab driver please let me out. and THEN, at 11:21: @FreePavarotti I was gonna hop to it but decided to walk instead. 3 MPH. So, basically, Darren mixed up accounts. (Tweets from FreePavarotti generally have #FreePav at the end.) The tweet was promptly deleted, so very few people have proof that it happened, but I do. it proved that Darren runs @FreePavarotti. LINK

I have seen screencaps of the tweet that Pav sent out the night of Chris’ 21st bad when they were on tour

Pav was drunk - or acting drunk - both are possible - the tweet was deleted

like the others that pointed too specifically to who was in charge of the account

I believe it is both Chris and Darren - but mostly Darren

The timing of events and information known - a lot not possible without some inside info

Many are in Darren’s playful and mischievous voice (with a possible assist from Chris at many)

And honestly - WHY would anyone work so hard to cover up something that was just a random fan having fun?!   LINK

Another incidence of PR overkill - that only proves the opposite to be true -they seem to have mastered this maneuver - don’t you think?!

Free pav continues to favorite things time and again

and frequently they are INTERESTING choices for sure!

Choose for yourself - but coincidences are only coincidences SO MANY TIMES

time will tell

************************************************************************

(X)

********************************************************************************

'Glee' exclusive: Mr. Boston speaks about FreePavarotti Twitter 

 Updated Mar 25, 2019; Posted Mar 31, 2011 Comment0sharesBy

Samantha Stephens, The Republican

Who would have thought that a bird could cause such a commotion?Pavarotti might have only appeared on a couple episodes of Glee but Kurt Hummel's (Chris Colfer) pet warbler stole the attention and devotion of thousands of Glee fans.

With a popular Twitter account, which currently has 9,483 followers, Pavarotti kept fans entertained with witty status updates about his caretaker, the Warblers, Kurt's budding relationship with Blaine (Darren Criss), and his own budding romance with Warbler Luke Edgemon.

As the account became popular, speculation over who ran the account swept the internet. Most fans agreed that it had to be a member of the Glee cast. But disparities on whether the account was operated by a Warbler, Darren Criss, or a joint-effort was a topic of debate for many.

When I started what I referred to as my “Wild Warbler Week”, in which I had the pleasure of chatting with three of the Warbler boys, I decided to try to get to the bottom of this mystery.

I was prepared to listen to the standard "he's a bird!" reply that had always been given when anyone attempted to solve this conundrum. But, lo and behold, I received the information on the first attempt thanks to Dominic Barnes.

We may never know the mysterious Mr. Boston’s true identity, he refused to answer any personal questions, but he offered an exclusive interview in which he revealed some of the magic (or should I say glitter?) behind the famous Twitter account.

When did you start the account? Where did the idea come from? The account began on December 1, 2010. It was the day after Pavarotti appeared on the show, I think. I started watching Glee when the Warblers first appeared, which was a couple weeks prior. I've done joke Twitters before in a different context, and it was a lot of fun. The initial idea was to start a campaign to "free Pavarotti", hence the username, while retweeting information about the Beelzebubs and bullying, to keep it in context. When I started tweeting, though, doing the character seemed like a more fun, accessible way to put that stuff out there.

Where did you get the ideas for the status updates? Do you have a favorite status or one that is particularly memorable? I had two different characters in mind for Pavarotti; one was the actor, an actual bird on set, totally infatuated with his own success and enamored with his fellow Warblers. He's the one who actually acts like a bird. The other was the bird in the show. That Pavarotti was meant to be a little more like a miniature Kurt; he overplays the "gay", gets excited about hanging out with Blaine, loves to sing to himself, and pretends to be well-educated about things like fashion, history, and music, while in reality he's just tossing his sassy feathers around, saying please, look at me, don't let me get lost, I'm bright yellow, I want to be important! Ha ha.

The other factor in updating the Twitter was relevancy; What's a hot topic in the world (Libya; Japan)?, Is there something I can do to stick with the gay/bullying theme (Trevor Project; transgender boy actor bird; It Gets Better)?, and What's up with my caretakers and how can I redirect some followers to them (Warblers; Bubs; Glee)?

I don't think I have a favorite. There are over 800 tweets on the account, you know! Every time I got to say "I'm not Someone Famous, because I'm a bird," that was awesome. Bird puns, too. Bird titles. Bird anything, really.

Did you ever expect it to become such a phenomenon within the Glee fandom? Not in a million years! I didn't even expect it to catch the eye of people in the show - and while I made some fun tweets, Pavarotti's popularity is due entirely to the Warblers & co. If it weren't for some of the guys being great sports, playing along, and pretending that Pavarotti was the real bird they worked with, this conversation we're having would be even more absurd. The Darren Criss conspiracy theory is also to blame.

Could you elaborate on the Darren Criss conspiracy for people who might not be familiar with it? I once dueled a tiger upon the harsh wastelands of Kentucky, but as soon as I managed to subdue this creature, it tweeted that I was actually Darren Criss to the World Wide Web. Its approximately three and a half million followers were fooled instantly and a thousand of them became personally invested. In order to preserve my secret identity and continue to oppose Professor Zoom and Magneto in their dastardly schemes, I played along until the time was rife to take revenge.

You said you had two ideas for how to maintain the Pavarotti Twitter, how did you decide between the two ideas? I used both Pavarotti - the bird and the actor. Some people picked up on this right away. It's not necessary in order to read it, though. The plan to use it as a "freedom campaign" was nixed almost immediately, because doing the character tweets was too much fun. And also because I couldn't come up with a neat little logo to save my life.

A huge part of the Twitter account was dedicated to the relationship between Luke Edgemon and Pavarotti. How did that get started and will you and Luke remain in touch? Luke was the first Warbler to tweet at FreePavarotti as though he were the real deal - he said "Pleasure working with you today!" and that was the beginning of my credibility. The romantic tweets just happened. Truly the age-old story of a canary and a boy falling in love. We will! At least, I hope so. We still text through private messages.

Pav had a lot of status updates about "Klaine" - do you think he's smiling from Bird Heaven now that they're finally (unofficially) together? What are your personal opinions on that storyline? I think Pavarotti loved both of the boys, as well as the rest of the Warblers. He did his best to chirp it up with Kurt, and Blaine was a real pal. I don't think he would have much of an opinion on the relationship itself, aside from what it does to Blaine and the Pips' set-list. Personally, it's important to have a gay relationship on primetime T.V., even if it's as silly as any other hookup on Glee. The "Brittana" excites me more, to be honest! People need to see that - LGBT intolerance is heading the way of dodo birds, shell suits, and separate drinking fountains, so we better darn well get a more and more positive presence in the media with each passing day.

Who has a stronger love: Pav and Luke or Kurt and Blaine? Love is the most powerful force in the universe; it's not a spectator sport. Be careful with that!

You mentioned one of the themes you wanted to touch upon with the Pav account was the bullying issue. What are your thoughts about the Kurt/Karofsky storyline and the possibility for Karosky's redemption? I'm not really qualified to talk about this! But here goes: I do like to think that anyone can find redemption, especially somebody who's lost and lashing out like Karofsky. The locker room kiss scene turns my stomach, and getting Kurt out of that entire environment was definitely the right thing to do. I'm sure Karofsky will "see the light", for lack of a better term. It's been set since that Superbowl number. I just don't know how much divine vengeance is too much - his remorse alone isn't really enough to make up for what he's done, but taking a crowbar to the guy's head would be overkill! Glee will, with any luck, find a happy medium and a happy ending for him. He and guys like him could use a little hope.

How difficult has it been to keep the secret, especially when so many people assumed the account was run by a Warbler or member of the cast? A fair number of folks on the human plane have known about the account from the start. I'm grateful that none of them have spoiled the fun. I   experience a mixture of guilt and glee when accused of being a member of the cast; I figured if anybody in the inner sanctum of Glee minded, I'd get in trouble, or someone would clear the air, so I'm guessing anybody on Glee who's heard of me gets just as much satisfaction out of toying with the emotions of Twitter as I do. Splendid. I don't need these five minutes of fame attached to my face; having this game on the internet was fun enough.

What did you think the reaction would be when it was revealed that you weren't a member of the Glee cast? I was surprised that the Warblers were surprised - I thought they were all just playing along! I figured Darren Criss would laugh to himself. You know, everybody's different - I knew some people would be disappointed, some people would be really amused, and some would still insist I'm a member of the cast.

Do you keep in touch with anyone from the cast of Glee? I could just tell you "no," but that's not very mysterious. I have a feeling folks would be skeptical, too. How about...my buddies are my secret, and the poor cast of Glee and I can continue to try to live our lives as ordinary people, connection or no connection.

Were you a fan of the show before you started the Twitter? If so, what was your favorite episode or cover? Nope! I'd never seen it before the Warblers appeared. But since then I've ended up with the box set of the first season, and I've seen some of it. I loved the episode with the mattress commercial. I like Teenage Dream a lot. I also liked Forget You and Vogue.

Who is your favorite Glee character? Puck. He appeals to my sensibilities. He's a cool dude with a lot to prove. He gets some great lines. He's just great. He can be both a bully and a kicked puppy.

When and how did you find out that Pav was going to die in "Original Songs"? I found out when people started tweeting me asking if it was true. That's how I learned a lot of things; I don't read the news blogs, and I don't really talk to people on the inside - well, I wouldn't be so rude as to ask for deets on spoilers all the time if I did, although I shot off a couple of excited messages to Warblers when I discovered "my" days were numbered. I toyed with the hearts of my followers, and as soon as I was informed that the death was actually going to happen, I began to plot my own demise.

On Glee, Kurt assumes Pavarotti dies from a stroke. Is that what really happened? How did you decide what the final tweet would be? Pavarotti either died of a stroke or of a glitter overdose. There was no time for an autopsy, in between singing and making out, so the world may never know. I had the final few days' worth of tweets saved on my phone weeks in advance. Pavarotti died while chirping out a tune; that's the way he wanted to live, so that's the way he had to go. The song seemed relevant.

Do you approve of the bedazzled coffin Pav was laid to rest in? It's beautiful. A glittery little box for his glittery little spirit.

There was about a week between Pav's death and the funeral. Where was he hanging out in the meantime? Kurt probably kept him in a well-decorated mini-fridge. Or maybe they used a slingshot to send him out into space at relativistic speed, so that he'd land back on Earth without decaying too much.Assuming that's where Pav is, what's Bird Heaven like?I'm not dead or a bird, so I couldn't tell you!

Are you or will you troll again? I'm glad that someone detailed for me exactly what the parameters of trolling are last night.I have had other Twitter accounts in the past; none taken as seriously as this one, and nowhere near the follower account this one generated. I have a new joke character Twitter account going, with a smaller following and a more casually fun tweeting schedule. It has been mistaken as an official Twitter in its franchise once or twice, too, but that impression was almost immediately dispelled by the followers and context. I don't plan on ever publicly linking them to each other, or my future endeavors.

Is the new Twitter account Glee, Darren Criss, or Starkid related? How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? (X)

*******************************************************************

So there you go...another cc trope, forever stricken from the masterpost!  

[apex-man-47]

The inbound curves on the mountain road of “Life”

(tl;dr - life update + reflection)

Well, a brief pop onto Discord also kinda did remind me of some few things.

I guess I have the freedom to rather be one with my own targets for once, and wow it feels weird planning them out as of rn. The twists and turns that are popping up I guess involve not only me working to a duo of major personal goals but rather possible firsts yet again for one of them. I guess me working that internship taught, if not shaped me to fit in with that  9-5/6 type of culture pretty well.

In terms of other things, I guess I also have some stuff I probably should put orders in for once I move and set everything up - for it may help making my place slightly more nicer. I also do realize my previous searches for automotive-based memorabilia can finally be tended to!

Along with that, I guess my main/major target is something due in somewhere close to a year or two’s time. This kinda does relate with something I’ve had a little bit of consideration for due to that one thing popping up in my mind a few nights ago. I guess once I move in for good in early August, I might start gradually working on maybe 3 different branches at once - relating back to my “ups and downs and curves of life” philosophy by making my mountain road slightly even more uphill for a little bit and then evening it out with a few “Fuji Speedway”-style curves.

In terms of non-car related stuff, I do realize I have two of my own plans focused on helping me probably be a lot more positive than before on life - and still be enjoying it. I guess that explains why I do have a little bit of a road trip sometime in the first weekend of September - taking care of two (or more) things at once.

Now, to reflect upon these past few years is going to be slightly hard. But here goes nothing.

These past 4 years worth of undergrad were surely worth it. I had my fair share of ups and downs for sure, but I guess I persevered long enough to rather walk out of this particular arc having finished a worthwhile thing. To be still committed up until this past year was one heck of a challenge - given what happened outside of uni too. Personal records were set, experiences were had, and yet I guess I also had my fair share of actually thinking about some solid plans or targets way back then due to being influenced by a lot of the local culture here. 

Y’think it would be a smooth sailing, fun time, right? Well, I surely had a few downer moments where I guess I had to really take a break - and I guess last year was where I felt like I found my thing to be doing to cool down my mind. Then came the big thing of last summer, just in the brink before I had that internship spot. This, I guess also made me experience a different vibe that felt enjoyable. Outside of the downer stuff, of course, life was more like a neutral & bland wave of regular things - revolving around uni work and general life things.

I will say that I guess I was more geared towards bettering my grades these past few semesters - thus leading me to avoiding quite a few uni-held events in favor of just chilling at home online with friends I came across in some places. This was where I did find out about Discord, and wow, I guess I’m inclined to hold voice chats on there a lot more now that I will be in an unblocked area soon. I guess my destressor was to be in the realm of gaming whenever on my days off - leading me to rather also be enjoying the realm of sim racing a lot!

In terms of experiences - there are some I guess I will keep for when I go for meetups, but I can spill on a few, as follows, by years. Yep, I can expand on these too in meetups, no worries!

2015 

first two long distance trips! (KSA + Oman) - I drove both in full distance, taking rest stops where need be. Got to see Al Waha Crater!

Dubai 24h race - I actually attended the race start, and actually came back in the evening with family.

First car - November 2015 brings in the Fortuner that graced my IG/SC/FB for the following years.

2016

Day of heavy raining - First experience driving in a heavy flooded area, c. March

April 24, 2016 - 15k km on the odo! (racked that high because of the winter trips)

Batmobile spotting

Yacht Party the day before my birthday

Nikon D5300 = acquired

Hectic summer (uncle’s wedding & a selfie + LA!)

DREAM CAR SPOT

2017 

First taste of a “Cars & Coffee” meet

Uncanny timing on a Bentley spotting

JDM Fest + “Overdrive”

Turned 20

day trips to Abu Dhabi - securing a personal target, and my nickname in my group

Winter BBQ

50 degrees Celsius.

2018

January’s uh, surprise at the Dubai Mall + Canada trip in winter!

PS4 came!

Internship experience + Work-related group dinner

Car club expedition/meet

Canada trip + surprise random reunion with old friends (c. last August) + another road trip record for the books

Motorsports Expo = surprises + Abu Dhabi family trip surprise

GTA Effect w/ the Fortuner

IG Highlights discovery

2019

FINAL SEMESTER OF UNDERGRAD

Finding a YT’ers car

First excursion to a local classic cars dealer + actual thought about a CC project

discovery of what happens when one posts tooo much in one day

Getting close and personal with a 1 of 50 type of car

GT Sport becomes my go-to. Enjoyed FIA racing

Racing leagues get me intrigued

Avengers: Endgame. Nuff said

Final presentation was of a subject I liked a lot + Surprise certificate

Trip to Jordan, and an Umrah + a surprise nickname from relatives because I forget to do proper rest-based stops not only on one road trip, but on all 3.

70k on the odometer.

Creation of my side account to clean up my list of inbound posts of stuff.

Surprise news of being eligible to graduate + actually getting some stuff done

League signups & discovery

“Graduation” series of posts = reflector on a key topic over the past few years.

Night driving

-----

And that’s it so far.

Quite a lot to read, but I guess I got it done with.

[mtnkat3]

my beloveds

~Alpha/s Warrior/s Mate/s.~

Though I understand what You/Alll are saying, & doing, it also pains me, even scares me. I also know it's to push me. And yeah, I feel it.

Yes, my beloved Your...DPOne...DOne...&Alll. Your/Alll's post of sabbatical has galvanized a lightbulb inside of me.

I am angry that I have been waylaid by lazy attys, & the adversary laughing its ass off at me.

I am not giving in nor up this time.

[Third atty!]

And that also means I will get this done before time is drained away. For me, that is death. No drama. Facts. My health being so bad it's my reality.

I am fighting for life.

The life I am meant to have.

The life I was created to have with my precious, beloved, perfect for me... Alpha/s Warrior/s Mate/s.

Yes, my Love/s, I agree that the journey, the trials, the hurdles, obstacles... are all meant to build character. To build strength. Fortitude.

That God has allowed all the bad, my trials of Job. To grow me. To be His daughter first.

And the reward, my Love/s I know in my soul... OUR LOVE.

You...DPOne...DOne...&Alll.

You/Alll loving me.

It is a miracle to me!!!

I guess my question then is why does that have to be without us being together... why have I needed to be alone. Well, at least physically. To learn the lessons I need. What about my awakening had to be done with me feeling unworthy & death grasping at me like black sludge slime. Clinging to me like parasitic leeches.

Because, to me, living without You/Alll... isn't living.

I haven't given up. Not by any stretch.

But I do need to stand back up.

Maybe that's what You/Alll have made me see. That I have felt so depressed & despondent that I became an automaton. But for the moments that I have felt clarity.

[Fr.5.20.2022 12.40pm stopped for You...DOne. blushing shyly.]

Yes, my soul's Mate/s maybe that is what You/Alll meant yesterday. Even the difference in the posts. Both recently & yesterday's.

You/Alll feel worn & tattered tooo.

The pain of that in my soul is... gut wrenching, clenching. Pain. Upset. Anger.

But that gives way to my determination.

The responsibility is solely mine.

It humbles me.

That I haven't been alone.

God hasn't forsaken me, & He brought You/Alll into my life early to help me.

So that I would know. And fight for us.

You/Alll have always been my Warrior/s Angels.

Fierce. Protective. Knowing & understanding more than I have thought possible.

Proof that knowledge isn't in age, but in life, & how it gives us experiences as it molds us.

So now I need to mold life back into God's Hands.

And bow my entire being to His Plans.

So then I am worthy of His magnificent Blessings.

Your...DPOne...DOne...&Alll's love.

The tears I feel against my eyes... are becoming happy, determined & fervent. Ferocious.

You/Alll are everything to me.

Treasures.

I will never give You...DPOne...DOne...&Alll up.

Ever.

You/Alll are worth every nanosecond. Every wake up. Every lightbulb. Absolutely freaking worth everything of me.

Not just words.

Because words are cheap.

But my soul's blood.

Because it took a lot of me to write this. Being so vulnerable & exposed. Another I force myself to articulate & put in esscense, pen to paper. I'd much rather write in a private letter for You/Alll to touch & think & peruse over.

Yes. I will wear anything of Alll posts.

mysoul's Alpha/s Warrior/s Mate/s

Anything.

I will do anything.

For You/Alll.

DPOne...DOne...&Alll.

I am!!!.

~Your's/s' DPOne...DOne...&Alll!!!. Alll Forever!!!.

🔱💝🗝♾⚓🙏🙇‍♀️

3.34p

[the-slut-in-the-sixth-sense]

🦔🐧

Guess what I did last week? I bought socks with HEDGEHOGS ROASTING MARSHMALLOWS on them AND socks of PENGUINS SKIING. HOW AMAZING IS THAT!!!     

Anyway, well that's the last time I tell anyone anything about animal anons plans, otherwise they will be spoiled and ruined by my friends! Oh well, it's all in good fun (and also forced me to keep my commitment of posting tonight despite being depressed that Jurgen got sent home...#gbbospoilers)!

Well as many people have predicted correctly, I passed the Bar! Hallelujah! I was sworn in as an attorney this week so I am officially an esq! I also am scheduled to received my dolly booster shot next week and earlier this month I started a new (not 80 hours a week) job! So I have had a fabulous month and have many things to be thankful for including my epic sock purchase! Which is perfect timing for the holiday ahead! So I wanna know what you are thankful for this year? I know it's been a tough year for so many so it can be as small or as large as you can think!

I'm so excited to learn more about everyone's year and what you're thankful for! Remember to tag animal anon (if you so desire) because I love scrolling through all your amazing responses! And since it was requested of course I LOVE atwtmvtv and the short film! My favorite vault song is IBYTAM because I love LOVE LOVE CS (please everyone go watch his performance with Jhud from the CMAs, it is mind-blowing)!

And remember, animal anon thinks you are all beautiful talented gorgeous people who are all killing it at life! ❤

AAAAAHHHH heyyy animal anon I missed you I hope you are doing well!!!♥️♥️

OMGGG that sounds amazing ahhehfhskajjejf I bet they look super cute on you!!

You got a job omggg I'm soo proud of you love you rock!!!! And all of those things they sound awesome you really did have a mesmerizing month and I'm soo soo glad ,well tbh I'm not so grateful about anything this year I'm just happy that I survived through it because I didn't score so good in my previous exams and after three days I have my first board exam (this is kind of a very important exam) and I'm just too nervous about it because everyone is hoping tha I'll score super good but I'm not sure about it but I'm thankful to ts for releasing red tv atwtmv and the mv short film ajhdhhfjajjdjd that really helped me doing my projects and stuff also thankful to my beloved tumblrinas for making me soo happy and my friends they are the only people who have kept me sane I guess? So yeah that's about it and thankful to the yum sandwich I had a few days ago heeheheh

IKR JANDHFJAJJSHDHFHSJA LOVED IT SM TOOO TAYLOR WAS LOOKING SOO CUTE IN IT HER ACTING AND TAY IN A WEDDING DRESS AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH THE REDDEST MV OF ALL TIMES ✨✨✨✨♥️♥️♥️♥️

Awww thanks hon ilysmmm you just make me soo happy mwah

[t1nkabell]

Learning from my own mistakes

That’s a post from my deleted blog. The only I have saved. I am posting it again, to remind myself. 

Okay ffs, I get it. I really have to make this a lifestyle! And I do not mean p*o a*a. I want to lose about 10kg 22lbs and since I’m not massively obese, this won’t happen in two weeks of low restriction. I tried it for the last seven years and maybe it works for you, but not for me.

Einstein famously stated, “Insanity means doing the same things over and over again and expecting a different result”.

So now I am going to list my personal mistakes and the things I want to do/think instead:

-       Not accepting the fact that I will not reach my goal weight in 2,5 weeks and constantly checking my body. Yes, I get it, we want weight loss sooo bad but I am constantly checking my body, pinching my fat, thinking negative about myself and I really believe that this is a big part of why I give up so many times. You won’t see drastic changes and especially if you are a woman, with a menstrual cycle, our weight fluctuates even more and on some days we even look bigger because of this water weight. So I really want to try to just live more “normally” and not obsess over weight loss like I used to. I used to plan my whole day around eating, not eating, exercise and so on. It’s important yes, but try to live your life and don’t focus TOOO much. For me when I get obsessed, I always fail because it’s not good enough and then I binge.

-        That’s more personal but night snacking/morning snacking. I really developed this stupid habit of eating at night because when I lived with my mom it was a “good” time for me to binge because she would sleep. My brain has noticed that from all the carbs I get a sugar rush and fall into sleep very fast. I wake up in the middle of the night with the craving to eat, but I realized that if I am “strong” enough to just drink a bit of water and lay in bed without giving in to my urges, they will pass and I will fall back into sleep. Also, morning snacking: I wake up with the urge to binge and want to eat breakfast immediately, but I always will be hungry two hours after. Now I say myself that it’s unnecessary to eat write after I wake up because I will get hungry very fast after it. So now I drink black coffee, or an energy drink and I am fine until 10/11 am.

-       Not eating volume food/things that actually keep me full. Of course, it’s okay to eat a protein bar (I love them so much haha), but I used to eat them every day and most the time they had over 200kcal. This little piece of “chocolate” did not keep me very full. Nowadays if want to eat something like this, first I try that these snacks are under 200 kcal and I eat for example berries with it or a salad before. So, I am going to enjoy my treat but still be full. Some days I had like no vegetables and I really like vegetables! I just was too lazy to prepare them or like I said lived of higher kcal snacks and thought that was okay, because I was still in my calorie-limit, but never being full in the nearest way made me binge too much. For real volume food in combination with some “treats” here and there is best!

-       Not putting so much effort into my appearance. When I gained weight, I literally refused to put on any clothes that are pretty or even a bit conspicuous because I hated the way I looked so much. There is nothing wrong with wearing baggy clothes or not putting on make-up, but I realized that even if I wear PRETTY baggy clothes and just put a bit of tinted moisturizer and lip cream on me, and not let my hair being a total mess, this changes my mood so much. I really have more respect for myself and want to treat me better. I feel like I take me more seriously (lol) with my end goal of feeling pretty in my own skin.

-       Getting a second portion right after I just ate. When I am done eating, I ALWAYS want more. I used to go to the kitchen right away and eat something again, and when it was time for dinner, there were not many calories left, which lead into a binge.. Nowadays, I tell myself that I CAN’T be starving if I just ate!!!!! (Keep in mind I don’t only eat 3 slices of cucumber and call it a meal or am really badly underweight). Do not give in and get a second portion or more to eat, just distract yourself and you will see you are not that hungry anymore.

-       A c*r*na-thing but, I love going to the gym and lift weight, therefore I am saying to myself that home-workouts really do nothing for my figure. But let me tell you: THEY DOOOO. If you train right, you will look way more toned if you train at home than if you don’t. In the beginning of last year I trained at home because I had a challenge with a friend, I believe me I looked sooo much better. I am my own proof that if I tell myself home workouts do nothing I am lying.

-       We know it all: All-or-nothing-mentality. I had to do 10k steps a day, or nothing at all, eat perfectly in my calorie-intake or binge, do a hardcore-supersweat workout or none, and that is just not sustainable!! I want to reach for “10k steps is my goal, but if I was too busy or feeling not that well, a little 15 min stroll will be fine!” When I first started with fitness and lifting weights, my only goal was to GO TO THE GYM 4x A WEEK. And I mean this like I said it. Okay.. and then training there of course. But it did not matter how good my workout was, how many reps I did, if the exercises were the best I could have chosen for this day, I just said to myself, if you get into the routine, the rest will follow and btw it happened just like this. Now I love lifting weights in the gym and really do not have to force me at all.

-       Not telling anyone my goals or lie about them. First of all, I was ashamed because I felt I would never again be skinny and because I had developed the habit of binging like a pig, but no one really knows lol about my ED, and even if so, I could have changed and reach all my goals. Speak confidently about your goals. Do not be annoyed if someone asks you a question about your nutrition, maybe they’re really just curious and even if they reply stupid answers, that is none of your business. I realized that if I lie to people, I believe the lies myself. Because I am so afraid to fail, I used to don’t tell anybody my goals, but this just means I do not believe in myself. And now I will start to believe in myself.