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kylo-wrecked · 1 year

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@brooklynislandgirl:// { cont'd from this gem! if words cannot compare write oodles of them }

— ☾ —

If Ben were honest, he'd first have to admit that he doesn't usually like to be seen. There was even a time when he might've let Beth's presumption go unchecked. He isn't keeping secrets these days, or he keeps fewer of them. Like, the agents of all his 'caustic wildness' lately. That was for him to know, and his lawyer, label, publicist, the rest of the world—and his mother—to find out.

"Who, me? No." He presses his fingers flat up onto his breastbone. Ben 'Prestor' Solo, hapa? A little less than 'that,' even. His mother was adopted by ostentatiously wealthy Nates and raised in Montreal, then Ontario. Dad was just your average roadie pusherman from Saskatoon, who had no parents, as he often liked to remind Ben. The only other time he ever reprimanded him was, what was it? Watch out for fentanyl.

For what it's worth, Ben doesn't laugh. Frowns a little, like he's heard this one before.

"I don't know how I know 'that' word. Cultural osmosis."

His eyes change minutely, glass shards catching the light. He wears a Cheshire grin for a moment, and it oddly suits him. Just not as well as Beth's suited to her new rosy tint.

"Does everything surprise you?" Ben licks his lips, and the grin seamlessly slips away like a serpent under a flat mirror of water. Traces of it remain in the corners of his mouth.

Beth surprises him, in turn, with the ghost of her hand. He can feel her faint and happenstance impression making a shrine below his oblique. Before he knows it, Beth invites herself, her eventide, into his night.

She must have no idea what he's doing here. If she did, she wouldn't have stepped forward when he stepped back. Ben really feels like a dog, a tomcat with fleas, something big, arching, scratching at itself. Just gnarly. Like a rusty pocketknife now, wearing the dumbest smile of all time because he's been rendered wordless.

'Go wheah? Some place mo' quiet?'

The first thing that comes to mind is Jesus. Then, Sorry mom, as he looks Beth over. It doesn't count if she wants him to.

He looks at her until Bauhaus transitions into Depeche Mode; why wouldn't it, at a place like this? For one, two, three, four and one, two, three beats, Ben examines Beth's eyes, throat, waist, her silken belly and breasts, and whatever else he can make of her under that little black dress, hopelessly clinging to her body like a plume from the fog machine. He can feel the bass, an ultimately malignant tumor, throbbing in his head.

After another beat, it occurs to him that Beth may be an angler. She's not prey; she's an ambush predator. Those eyes. She has a lure. That must be it, the 'thing' Ben couldn't place just a moment before. She may not know it, but if Beth picked that dress out on her own, she probably does—and he'll take the bait, please, even if, in taking it, he'll be fused to her in an acutely horrific, irrevocable way from this moment on; thanks. He's thinking 'allure,' 'alluring,' 'a-lurking'—

"Hold on."

And reaching into his back pocket, retrieves his phone. He texts his guy, Enzo. His hands are nimble, stippled with blue-green veins, not soft.

[Ben]: What's a quiet place

[Enzo]: bruh

the movie?

[Ben]: No, I'm with someone. Mine April 14, 9 AM. There's your reminder.

Fucking jackass. Ben would lay into him later when he dropped off. Phone back in back pocket. Now, Beth.

"Beth, right?" he smiles carefully. "Beth, I'm a musician. I don't know quiet places."

Nothing quieter than home. Then Enzo could come by that same too-late-in-the-goddamn-early morning, and he'd be pouring heavy on the LES, like occasions he used to attend in disgathering light, when the sky was a calm drink the moon bobbed up in like a lychee, enormous and indecent as he is tonight. But then Beth would be privy to the mess he left on his couch. Not good.

She's still looking at his mouth. Bad girl.

His next angle is only precise by repetition, but under the trash and vaudeville glow, he's sudden, like a jack-knife or a viper. Ben's killed before, the very same way he arches around Beth, by extending his arm, enclosing her shoulder, yet merely intimating touch.

Mouthing 'let's go,' Ben leads her out of The Auction House's cheap velveteen shadows and aggressively bad sound into the thin blue moonlight, the haze from one of those giant orange exhaust tubes, which rises over the concrete like a king-size cigarette.

They wind up at a pastel diner in the upper sixties. At half past midnight, most booths are vacant save for the soft buzz of All Eighties, All Weekend, 104 FM. Ben sinks most of his weight onto his elbows, very much a gargoyle, while Beth confides in him over her beverage, and he white-knuckles his mug.

Around a quarter to one, Ben realizes he won't make it. Nothing confirms that like sudden congestion, semi-impaired vision, and a mild headache. Also, the brief but excruciating glimpse of himself in the nearby wall-to-ceiling mirror. Oh well. If he doesn't recognize himself, that may mean no one else will.

He hopes what's actually dread comes off as his undivided attention, that Beth's every word seems as if it's passing through his threshold. If he were being honest, Ben might say he's undergoing a serious 'lights are on, no one's home' moment. Since he isn't, he watches Beth's mouth for shapes he can make out, only glancing at his phone every so often, praying to a God he's only just now considered that Enzo doesn't pull his dumb fucking build-a-Bronco into the window.

You really can't trust the dealers in New York City to abide by auto etiquette; the whole place is made up of a culture of aggressive disregard. But it's a bad day to be in any state where the mother tongue's spoken in car signals. Good thing he has Beth's lips to follow. Watching Beth work her mouth around a syllable pitches him back into the old F.O. studio, where he and Drae used to play the game of interpreting whatever Snoke was saying behind the glass, way back when he was sober.

And then, his phone lights up.

#brooklynislandgirl #m. au | musicverse!ben: nowhere man #r. tbd #tw: alchohol mention #tw: drug mention #edited: for quality assurance

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isaiahbie · 2 years

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Are There Objective Moral Facts?

Lyx: Di ba kuya as Christians we believe na there are universal values/things that are inherently good? How do you usually justify it without using the religion card haha

Me: Tungkol sa existence ng objective moral values ba ang tanong mo? I think they are self-evident. Sabi mo nga, there are things that are “inherently good.” Even those who give lip service to relativism know this. Subukan mong nakawin ang wallet ng kaibigan mong relativist, at magagalit siya sa’yo. Kahit mga liberal activists na relativist pagdating sa sexual ethics are quite dogmatic against things like racism and homophobia. So it seems impossible to deny the existence of objective moral values.

Test yourself. Is rape sometimes good? Is torturing babies just for the fun of it morally right? These diagnostic questions will let you know if you are a moral realist or a Jeffrey Dahmer—kung kailangan mo ba ng philosophy lesson or ng psychological counseling.

Speaking of philosophy, moral realism is the majority position among moral philosophers today. Contemporary defenders of moral realism include philosophers like Nathan Nobis, David Enoch, Christian Coons, Michael Huemer, and Terence Cuneo.

Persuasive sa akin yung argument ni Terence Cuneo. Simple lang siya, and it’s in the form of a “companions in guilt argument.” The idea is this: There is this thing which you cherish. But if objective morality has to go, then you must also let go of this other thing which you cherish. For example, epistemic facts. Importante sa’yo ang epistemic facts, otherwise, why are we having this conversation?

But moral facts are like epistemic facts, argues Cuneo. So then:

If there are objective epistemic facts, then there are objective moral facts.

There are objective epistemic facts.

Therefore, there are objective moral facts—that is, moral realism is true.

Lyx: Can you expound more on the assertion “if there are objective epistemic facts, there are objective moral facts” kuya

Me: Moral facts are facts about what we ought to do from the perspective of morality, e.g., “You should donate money to the poor.” Epistemics facts are facts about what we ought to do from the perspective of knowledge and evidence, e.g., “You should believe only what is true or supported by the evidence.”

The fact that we’re having this conversation right now is indicative that you care about epistemic facts. You care about what counts as justified true belief. But kung babalikan mo yung definition na binigay ko above, moral facts are parallel to epistemic facts. Both are normative, that is, both contain the property of oughtness. And both are objective, that is, they’re independent of what you or I think.

Sa kanyang librong The Normative Web: A Defense of Moral Realism, Cuneo points out at least six more parallels between epistemic and moral facts. So whatever objection one might throw against moral facts, the same can be applied against so-called epistemic facts. But if that is the case, then why should we believe the claim that “Moral facts do not exist” or that “We are not justified in believing in Moral Realism,” *if* these are epistemic facts?

Lyx: Ahhh oki oki gets. Last na kuya, how would u differentiate “good” and “right.”

Me: Siguro I would adopt the distinction that William Lane Craig makes. Good/Bad, he says, are moral values. Right/Wrong, on the other hand, are moral duties. What’s the difference? Well, value has to do with worth, but duty has to do with obligation. Obviously, just because something is good, does not mean it is obligatory. For example, it might be good for me to become a lawyer, but I’m not morally obligated to become one. After all, it might also be good for me to become a pastor. It’s important to make this distinction because in seeking the best explanation for moral facts, the best explanation should be able to explain both.

Lyx: Would you say na what counts as good is subjective?

Me: No. Kaka-argue ko lang that objective moral values are objective. That is, they’re truth-value is independent of human opinion. For example, the laws of nature hold true whether we acknowledge them or not. Kapag tumalon ako mula sa isang gusali, babagsak pa rin ako kahit sabihin kong di ako naniniwala sa law of gravity. I believe the same is true about the laws of morality. For example, to say that the Holocaust was wrong is to say that it was wrong even though the Nazis who carried it out thought that it was right, and it would still be wrong even if the Nazis had won WWII and succeeded in brainwashing all of us, so that everybody believes that the Holocaust was right.

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brydonlaw · 1 year

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#adoption lawyer #attorneys jefferson city mo #attorneys law firm #attorney's at law #adoption lawyers near me

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writingonesdreams · 2 years

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Sortinghatchats - Suits

Have to do the sorting for the show I'm obsessed with for the past week - the legal drama Suits. Check out @sortinghatchats and @wisteria-lodge for explanation of the system in detail.

Suits is an amazing character dynamics study, fuled by relationships and personal conflicts, with the legal world drama cases as interesting and intelligent backround, testing the characters, pushing their limits and their loyalties to the brink while keeping a light-hearted banter tone.

Let's start with the most prominent influence character the legal world is apparently turning around, the famous lawyer legend Harvey Specter. Harvey represents the best of the double snake sorting - he is charming, confident, self-serving, enjoying luxury and wealth his job gets him. He is obsessed with winning, with walking away from every situation as the top dog and getting the deserved credit for it. And he is sneaky. You don't meet a better schemer than Harvey, who will get you one a space between lines, who will convince you he will lie even though he would not. Who can switch from being the serious trustworthy lawyer for the business meeting and the funny playful tease at work, to the predatory confident blood smelling shark at court. Changes faces like his suits and enjoys it. He is in it for the game of it all, and he is the greatest at it.

He is also a solitary player. It gets noted several times in the show that Harvey is successful, feared, famous, envied,...but he is not popular. His colleagues don't get along with him, he doesn't care about the team, his subordinates or his peers. He doesn't remember anyone by name, and if he can tease and sneak, he will do it to his colleagues too. Harvey has a very narrow circle of friends. Like a snake with his chosen people, he has exactly three during the whole show, and he would stick his neck out for them anytime. It's incredibly endearing to watch how the charming sneaky predatory ruthless lawyer in 12.000 dollar suit gets feral over loyalties. Harvey is all about loyalty, it's his greatest value and treasure, something he showers his people with - whatever they want it or not - and something he demands right back.

The show lives of his dynamic with Mike Ross. Mike is a young genius, a directionless university dropout with eidetic memory who sold out his ability to pass Harward law entrance exams. By completely coincidence, while running from trouble, Mike gets in an interview with Harvey, tells him everything, impresses the legend...and gets hired as young concipient in training. Boom.

Mike is special, because Harvey recognizes him as special and gives him a chance. Everyone around Harvey notes immediately how uncharacteristic it is of him to care about someone AND to do it so quickly. Mike becomes Harvey's person in record time that leaves everyone's head spinning. At first Harvey sees potential, and fun and an easy way to get nasty detailed work done, but he also sees himself in Mike, and this gets him protective like crazy. Harvey doesn't show emotion, that he cares, cause in the world of business and law, that's a weakness. Hell, he has trouble showing this to Mike, who he is hard on, testing and growing him to be better, to make his own way, to make his choices....while going around making threats and biting people's heads off, if they dare stand in Mike's way. It's sudden but also gradual and so heartwarming, how protective he gets of this little lion. This is the juiciness of their dynamic. That Mike is a Lion Badger and he gets adopted by a ruthless scheming Double Snake.

Mike is a hard worker. He is defined by his attitude of chipping away at big tasks, by working his skin off, by making friends and connections through being reliable and maming effort. Harvey likes to find shortcuts and different angles, Mike works his way through 100 pages to find one line of evidence he can give Harvey to use against the clients. Textbook badger secondary.

Mike has a roaring lion primary. He centres around morals, an emotional core and very strong opinions about what's right and wrong. The series shows numerous instances of this. He feels bad about sleeping with a married woman, cause it's "wrong" (not because he is hurting somebody in particular). He gets inspired and passionate about pro bono casds and when he smells injustice, cause he wants to be helping to "make things right". It's also what draws him to Harvey - that through all his arrogant and well-deserved competence in scheming and risky games, Harvey never cheats, lies or goes back on his word. His boss might walk on the edge of the law, but never crosses it. This is very important to Mike. During the mock trail at the firm, everyone doubts Harvey aside from his boss Jessica and Mike, who argues that Harvey has "principles" so of course he can be trusted. He doesn't get others don't see the side of Harvey he appreciates the most.

Mike suffers having to live in a lie. He gives up on his relationship with Rachel, because if he can't tell her his secret, it isn't "right" to be with her. He hated making a living through cheating on tests, proven also by the vigiriosity with which he threw himself at the quantum of difficult annoying law work and research. Because it's finally a good kind of work he can be proud of. The compassion and sympathy he offers to all his clients feels right and fulfilling.

Harvey calls him naive and idelaistic and soft, but only in private. He praises him into the heavens in front of everyone else, so no one has doubts how capable Mike is. You bad mouth Mike or look at him wrong and you get Harvey on your tail like a bulldozer.

Harvey complains it's ineffective and emotional, but he likes Mike's paragon moral lion. He admires him for it. Mike gets emotionally invested in the people, not the case, money, reputation or profit. He comes to Harvey with sense for justice and genuine concern, and Harvey let's himself get dragged into it. Their best cases are when Mike finds the unfairness, offers the compassion and the hard toil, while Harvey uses all the strings, tricks and schemes and his years long experiences to help him win the game. Slowly Harvey develops his moral system around Mike. If Mike says it's right, he will throw himself at the case. He mentions Mike is much better a man on occasion, because he admires him that much for the compassionate kind of work he partly tries to beat out of him to be a good lawyer and partly revives in himself, when around him.

Where Harvey adopts some of Mike's lion morals on top of his own, Mike builds a snake model solely for Harvey. Mike is not usually a person to be swayed by affection for specific people. He acts according to his morals, what's right and wrong, no matter how much that hurts the person he is supposed to be protecting. But Harvey gives him a chance, a job, a new life, guides and projects him, risking his career so Mike could do work he loves without the diploma and licence and Harvey wants loyalty, so that's what Mike gives him in return. Undying absolute loyalty. Mike buys his grandma a flat, not because he misses her or is sorry he hurt her by his absence (that too ofc) but mainly cause it's right thing to do. He turns on a client who turned out to be lying, cause that's not right. But Harvey gets priority over fair treatment, his own cases, trouble from Loius, from better offers, from other useful friendships. Mike turns every advantage into Harvey's favour smooth and automatic, and this earns him more and more protectiveness from Harvey. Harvey is the only person he doesn't turn against, even when he disagrees or feels it's wrong. Harvey is the person he would lose everything to protect. But it's a model he only got for Harvey, and it confuses his other friends, especially his on and off girlfriend Rachel. Harvey is put above her multiple times. It isn't right to be with her, when he can't tell her he is a fraud, it's not comfortable for his lion primary - so he wants to tell her and Harvey says no. It's too risky and too early to know whether Rachel wouldn't betray him. So Mike doesn't give the love a chance to grow, he breaks up with her and longs after her, but putting Harvey at risk for his secret is not something he can do.

Mike gives the schemer solitary charming snake compassion and something to protect, and when the lion badger becomes the double snake's person, it creates a duo heartwarming to watch, who tag at each other and overwhelm anybody in their way.

Jessica Pearson is the leading partner of the Pearson & Hardman law firm. She built Harvey up. Harvey is basically her Mike - she found a talented postman, paid for his Harvard degree and got the most loyal right hand man for her efforts. Harvey dazzles and fights and schemes in her honour, and she can't always control him cause Harvey doesn't like orders or limitations, but he always has her interests in mind and that is enough. They call Harvey her "pitbull" in the show and they are both proud of this. Jessica is a snake primary that shows up a lot like Harvey's. She likes luxury. She is the hedonistic enjoyed of money, opera dresses at work, and she only cares about her firm, married it over her husband, never had other family or kids. She is absolutely loyal to Harvey, and fine with manipulating everyone else. She favors him so obviously Louis and other other partners never get over it.

Jessica is a lion secondary though. A talented and brilliant lawyer alright, but she likes the posturing. The power. Being able to break through everyone with a straightforward "bend your knees to me", when she walks into their office. She does this to rivals as much as to her own subordinates. When she is at risk or at court, Harvey has to keep her from spilling the truth or going all out with everything she's got, cause that's not by any means the most effective evasive or profitable way his snake secondary came up with. Jessica doesn't want to back down, doesn't like the backhanded schemes and deals, she wants to power through.

Jessica doesn't allow people into her circle after Harvey, understands and syncs with Harvey's snake morals and loyalty, trusts his secretary Donna, cause she is Harvey's alright. Mike confuses her. It takes time to get used to Harvey expanding his circle without her permission or knowledge (quite possessive of him). Harvey shows her Mike and says "he is mine now, so take him too" and she just blinks and stands, and understands so she can't fight it, but she doesn't like it much either. But the parallels are obvious. Harvey's protective wings over Mike with his "if he goes, I go" mirror Jessica's over Harvey, when Hardman tries to kick him out. She is ready to lay down all her cards for her pitbull.

Louis Litt is the badger primary on deck who just wants to belong. He breathes for the firm. He rises the younger assistants and lawyers in training, guides them, bullies them, controls their mistakes. Louis just wants to belong and doesn't understand why he can't be part of Jessica and Harvey's "group". His competence, loyalty, insistence get him nowhere, cause these two are snakes and each other's people and Louis just can't get there with his group based thinking, no matter what he does. Louis feels undervalued, yearning for Harvey's acknowledgement and hates Mike with passion for jumping the ranks and becoming Harvey's overnight, something he never managed. Harvey sees his belonging flattering servile motives as "pathetic" and treats him quite unkindly. Jessica is trying to be more open and accommodating, but she can't expand her circle to him for some reason. Harvey is her world, there is no helping it. Louis in return, backstabs. Gets vengeful, scheming, petty and gives them hell. This makes me think of snake secondary. Sneaky playful snake enjoying his revenge and all the little ways to get back at Harvey, to punish Mike, to get around Jessica. But in the biggest crisis, he chooses them, since in the end all the revenge and backstabbing is him lashing out he can't belong to the group he chose.

Whike Jessica is a queen snake lion, being loyal and royal and massive, Donna Paulsen is a playful double snake secretary with her life wrapped around Harvey and then ranks people according to their importance after him. She doesn't have probelms adopting Mike, as he is Harvey's person, or be Jessica's ears and eyes, cause she is also Harvey's and she likes Louis, cause she recognizes he just wants to be Harvey's too and can't manage. She loves Harvey romantically too, but can't say it, cause he doesn't say it, and she is stuck with that for a long time. Her playful snake banter and ways are very fun and charming to watch.

Rachel Zane comes off as selfish, whiny and emotionally manipulative. Or maybe that's just her trying to use her beauty and sexuality to play around with Mike and get her way on the surface. Constantly guilts Mike into prioritising her and doing what she wants, demands his attention and his favour, getting spiteful when she doesn't get it. She tries to win over Harvey in Mike's heart and can't, not until she realizes that to win Mike over she can't be making him choose. I'm considering lion primary for her, since she wants to be important and special, suffers for not having a law degree and being a simple paralegal with no way up, and she isn't quiete about it. She hates that lawyers with degree get better treatment, when she is smarter and more experienced than them. Why it takes her so many seasons to go after the degree she wants, while burdening everyone down with her unhappiness and complexes, I have no idea. Rachel has a talent to make everything about her, even though she is just holding everyone back. Maybe that victimhood and not minding consequences as long as she gets what she wants makes her an exploded lion. Also the high ground moral speeches, the "wrongness" of some things she feels instinctively speak for a lion primary too.

Her methods are very lion too. Straightforward, honest, running you through with her arguments, valuing truth and clarity over effectiveness and logic, can't keep a secret, says and acts on what she feels, consequences be damned. And maybe that's why this double lion struggles so much in such a snake oriented firm. Everyone is picking and backing their people like snake primaries, while she just barges against walls, all loud and ineffective, cause raw emotions and just anger don't get you nowhere in the schemer snake sec world of the law.

Maybe that's why she obsesses over Mike so much. She smells resonance in his lion primary, in his emotional and moral motivations to help. He wins her over through arguments like helping someone, noble causes, not putting her interests above others. And that's why it confuses her to no end he has such blind snake model loyalty to Harvey, who is a double snake through and through, a person she loathes and doesn't get and doesn't want to get at all.

It's interesting how Mike, who is the main pov character, gets thrown around all these sortings. Double snake Harvey and Donna adopt him, Louis's badger primary tries to integrate him and then throws him out, cause Mike belongs somewhere where he can't, Jessica understands the snake loyalty, but her lion secondary is building an army he can join or fall off and Rachel's double lion resonates and is sympathetic, but in the end her lion ways are too loud and destructive for him. He builds a snake secondary for the law schemes, but he is the most comfortable in his proper caring toiling badger secondary, and he inspires and gets his morals from his lion primary, with one snake primary model exception for Harvey.

Harvey - Snake / Snake

Mike - Lion with Snake model for Harvey / Badger

Jessica - Snake / Lion

Louis - Badger / Snake

Rachel - exploded Lion / Lion

Donna - Snake / Snake

#sortinghatchats #suits #analysis #tv series #sorting suits #double snake #lion badger #snake lion #badger snake #double lion

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admirableadmiranda · 3 years

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What do you think is the occupations of your fav MDZS characters in modern AU?

Ohh anon let me introduce you to some headcanons!!

Wei Wuxian: He definitely always has his parents or found family, he's not stuck with the Jiangs. I could go all sorts of places with him, because he's so talented and clever and good at so many things, but wherever it is he's making things and having a blast and making all the money to support...

Lan Wangji: his househusband. Listen, I know he's a great teacher, I'm sure he'd enjoy that, but what he's enjoying most is taking care of WWX. And he raised a child in canon. If it's a modern au and Wei Wuxian isn't being tied back by an incredibly classist society, Wei Wuxian is the breadwinner and Lan Wangji stays at home and raises the children and still fucks his husband until he begs for mercy every night. They're just great like that.

Lan Xichen: a lawyer, and not in the field he wants to be in. He's pretty decent wherever he is, but he'd be much happier in a different field and that smile is cracking day by day.

Lan Sizhui: being the best boy with both great adoptive parents and still getting to be loved and adored by his bio family as well. He is going to grow up to be so loved.

Lan Jingyi: Sizhui's little brother. The best boy. He's the one who's always covered in dirt and laughing, and he's going to grow up to be as cool as his dads.

The Lan Sect in general: hippies. Live in harmony with the earth and each other, get involved in protests and get in the way of things that are harmful to the earth. None of this rich austere family, we're going with first do no harm, second reach out and use your power to help things be better for all.

Jin Ling: The third baby. In a modern au where Xuanli still die there is no way that anyone comes close to being as great an option to raise him as Wangxian. He deserves a good loving family who understands that he's cranky because he loves and wants to protect them.

Nie Huaisang: He is a spoiled rich boy living on his inheritance and doing nothing just as he wanted. If he does anything with his day, it's collecting things. But he wants to do nothing with his life and it's valid for him to do nothing with his life.

Jin Guangyao: corporate drone who managed to use his father to get into a good job but he's just absolutely miserable because he can play the game so well but the bodies he's left in his wake to get where he is are coming back to haunt him. Whether this is figurative or literal depends on the fic.

Mianmian: Wei Wuxian's best friend, a probono lawyer who specifically goes and finds people who need help and can't afford it. Works with charities and is very big on helping those in need.

Wen Qing: Wei Wuxian's best big sister who is out being a cool doctor wherever she wants. Gets to live a happy life either with a wife or by herself, no scandals needed ever.

Wen Ning: Wei Wuxian's best little brother who is going to find himself a sugar daddy someday, even though his big brother is also happy to buy him whatever he wants. It's just not the same as finding some hot rich guy to spend a lot of money on you. Maybe he'll hook up with NHS in this.

Mo Xuanyu: the other wannabe sugar baby who definitely has something going on with NHS if I'm not shipping him with Wen Ning. May have committed a little murder in the past, but given that his family was definitely abusing him it's not like anyone really tried to do anything about it. Just ruled as self defense.

Jiang Fengmian: got to divorce his terror of a wife and rescue his poor daughter from that. Married for a second time to a kind woman who is nothing like YZY and is recovering and getting to be a happy man again.

Jiang Yanli: got to get far away from her mother and brother and live with her dad instead. Has a simple job and a simple home and a simple life with no contact with the family that does not care for her and is much happier for it. Volunteers at a soup kitchen sometimes and feeds everyone delicious soup. Let her have a kind quiet life. She and Wei Wuxian may not be super close but they like to spend time together.

Xiao Pingguo: Gets to be the family donkey and kick annoying people in the balls.

Wangxian rabbits: Get to be the family pets and loved and adored by everyone.

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twopoppies · 3 years

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for your financial advice anon:

so, talking about actual numbers isn’t usually very helpful because how much you can/should save is very dependent on where you live and how much you’re making. ergo, point 1: establishing the *habit* of saving is actually more important than how much you’re saving.

however: as a rule of thumb, it is good to get to a point where you have 3-6 months worth of all your expenses (rent, food, meds, etc) in a savings account. that can seem like a really daunting number! but, it’s a good goal. if that feels too hard, start with one month, and once you’ve achieved that, go for two, etc. this kind of saving gives you the wiggle room and comfort to know that, if something goes wrong, it’s not an immediate disaster - you have some time to handle things.

once you’ve hit your “6 months of all expenses” saving goal, i recommend starting some targeted savings goals - you can create separate accounts for these if it keeps you from touching them, or you can just have them in the same savings account as your other savings, it’s up to you. the ones i have are “emergency”; “travel”; “oh shit the car”; “adoption”; and “house”. i have set goal amounts for each of these, and dump a little into them each month.

emergency is an arbitrary 9k because of the cost of living where i live - it’s meant not so much for income replacement like the original 6 month goal is, but more things like, “giant medical bill” or “giant vet bill” or “we suddenly have to buy a new car” or whatever. this is your Unforeseen Circumstances fund. travel i usually try to keep around 3k, cause that’s a reasonable amount for two people to take a trip somewhere and not have to nickel and dime it. “oh shit the car” is meant to cover registration, any accidents, any unexpected repairs, etc, and i keep that at about 2k. “adoption” has a goal of 27k, because that’s what the lawyer we talked to suggested (we’re also looking into foster to adopt, but that can also cost, and so do babies, so the category is more general than the title suggests); and the house account was for a down payment for our house, but is now just “oh fuck ___ needs fixed” and its goal is to stay around 20k.

now. all of this is very personal! if you don’t want kids, you don’t need a savings account for them. if you don’t have a car, there’s no need to save for car repairs. but once you have that savings cushion, it’s good to sit down with yourself and think both of contingencies (car, travel) and future plans (house, kids, whatever), and then to begin actively designating money for those things.

a helpful thing also is, if you have a set amount you’re contributing each month to each account (let’s say $10 to start, so, $50 a month across 5 categories), then when you’ve hit one goal (ok! my “oh shit the car” account is at 2k!), don’t stop saving that $10! divert it to the next lowest category. so now “adoption”, “emergency”, and “house” are getting $10/mo, but “travel” is getting $20/mo. that means that goal will be met faster, and then i can put $30/mo to the *next* one, etc etc. or you can just bump what you’re putting in all of them if you prefer. the tl;dr is, don’t reduce the amount you’re saving, ever, if you can help it.

ALSO omg start a retirement savings. if you have a job that has an IRA or a 401k, start contributing. the money will come out of your paycheck untaxed, and many employers will do a matching contribution. with this, you want to start saving at whatever the matching level is (for my company, it used to be 3%, now it’s 5%), and then increase that by 1% every year until you’re at at least 10%. if you do it this way, it’s very painless, and you will be very happy about it in 40 years when you can retire and no one else can. if you *don’t* have a job that does this, do it yourself. same deal - start an account and set up an automatic bank transfer for 3% every month that comes out as soon as your paycheck goes in. when it gets to say, 5k, you want to put it in something that will get you good interest, like a mutual fund, and keep contributing but never touching. that money is dead to you for the next 40 years.

i hope this helps!!

This is super helpful and so detailed. Bless you! I think this is helpful for people of any age.

#financial advice #to keep #because i always need this kind of info

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stiltonbasket · 4 years

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I have a modern wangxian au in the works,,,, who wants to see it

featuring:

the lotus pier eating house, home to the yunmeng siblings' homey diner/bakery

criminal justice lawyer Lan Wangji, who stumbles across the cutest baker in existence when going on a lunch run for his brother

blacksmith/ranch owner Nie Mingjue, who took one look at LXC stuffing his face with cheese bread at Lotus Eatery and practically moved in

Jin siblings Zixuan, Guangyao, Qin Su, and Mo Xuanyu, who orchestrated the downfall of their trash father and then took over his company. Qin Cangye is now their dad and they NEVER had another one

cute married xuanli eating together in the bakery every day before jzx kisses jyl goodbye and leaves with a face redder than an apple

baby A-Yuan manning the cash register during rush hour. he is six years old and wants to help his a-die

single dad xiao xingchen and his daughter a-qing, who relocated after a disastrous breakup with his boyfriend song zichen and then moved in with the lotus squad

little does he know that SL regrets everything and took a job with LWJ's firm so he could stay in town and make it up to XXC

wwx is being stalked by the wens. the wens are also connected to the reason songxiao broke up,,, hm.....

desperate university students Wen Ning and Nie Huaisang, who spend half their waking hours at Lotus Eatery because their friends live there and there's always free food and a peaceful corner to study in. NHS also gets to tease his da-ge about his crush on the pretty Lan lawyer so that's another plus

medical resident Wen Qing, who stops by every week to check on A-Yuan and her disaster adoptive brother WWX

also to check out her adoptive brother's adoptive brother because Jiang Cheng looks really good in polo shirts and an apron

so the question is,,,, who wants to see it

#wangxian #nielan #the untamed #mo dao zu shi #xuanli #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #jiang yanli #lan wangji #nie mingjue #song lan #xiao xingchen #lan xichen #wen qing #wen ning #chengqing

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jbbarnesnnoble · 4 years

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Rainy Season

Summary: After three failed attempts at adoption and being rejected as foster parents, your marriage to Natasha is starting to fall apart. Determined to save your marriage, you and Natasha embark on a journey of acceptance for the things you can’t change.

Features/Warnings: Angst

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff/Reader

Request: “Hi there! Could I please request a Natasha Romanoff x fem!R fic? Where they’re married and having serious problems, like not sleeping in the same bed, R feels like her touching Nat is unwanted, fights etc and they go to marriage counseling and we see their journey through that and it’s heartbreaking? But like with a hopeful (no break-up) ending please? One part or ten parts, I don’t mind! I’d just love to see this story written after it came into my head. Thank you so much, you’re fantastic! Xx”

Notes: This is a bit different for me as far as subject matter. It’s also one of the longest oneshots I’ve written.

Word Count: 4545

The clinking of dishes in the sink and the sound of running water were the only sounds in the house. A plate sat in the microwave, waiting for someone you knew wouldn’t be coming anytime soon. She’d been on a mission for three weeks. You’d had a fight before she left. You knew from Bucky that they had returned that morning. The light caught your ring, shining brightly under the fluorescent lights of the kitchen. You sighed. It hadn’t always been like this. The stretches of time she’d spend at the compound rather than the home the two of you shared. The fights, the shrinking away from any kind of touch.

You had met Natasha at a coffee shop. Such a cliche, but it was how you’d met. You had been having the morning from hell. It was a Saturday, but that meant nothing when it came to your work. You had things to get done that kept piling up. Someone had bumped into her, causing her to spill her coffee on you and the papers you’d had scattered on the table. The two of you had gotten to talking and before you knew it, you had her number and a date.

Now, you’d been married for three years and you were watching her fade away from you. You heard the door open and close, but you didn’t bother saying anything. You focused on the dish you’d been washing for the past five minutes. She came into the kitchen and leaned against the door frame.

“No hello?” she asked. You paused for a moment.

“Didn’t hear you come in,” you said. She scoffed.

“You and I both know that’s a lie,” she said, walking over to the microwave. She opened it to see what you’d made, a simple lasagna. She scrunched her nose before going to the fridge.

“Do we have anything else?” she asked. Your grip tightened on the plate.

“No, Natasha. You’ve been away. I had a long day. Forgive me for heating up the lasagna I froze,” you snapped. You couldn’t read her expression.

“You’ve had a long day? I just got home from a three week mission. Is it too much to ask that my wife make something other than a frozen lasagna? That I get more than silence when I walk in the door?” she yelled. You dropped the plate, ignoring it as it shattered in the sink. You turned the water off before turning to face her.

“Yes, Natasha. I had a long day. You don’t have a monopoly on hardship in this relationship,” you said, keeping your voice low and even.

“I never said I did,” she replied. You raised an eyebrow.

“You implied it,” you said.

“Stop putting words in my mouth,” she said with a glare. You weren’t sure how it had gotten this bad. It was as if the fight from three weeks had picked right back up. You didn’t want to deal with it or her in that moment. You knew you would end up saying something you’d regret. You went to grab your wallet and keys.

“Where are you going?” she asked.

“Out. Don’t wait up. Welcome home, dear,” you replied. You couldn’t deal with her. Not like this. She was looking to fight and you knew it. There was a time in your relationship where you would never leave a fight unresolved, but you needed to cool off before you said something you truly regretted. You found yourself at Mo’s, a dive bar in town that was crawling with a mix of locals who were regulars and students from the local university. There was an odd mix of people in the bar. It was why you liked it.

“Uh-oh, I know that look. Meri, get this woman a whiskey on the rocks and an order of sticks,” Beth said when you sat down at the bar. Beth owned the bar with her wife Merilee, taken over from Merilee’s father, Mo. Beth was older, in her sixties. She and her wife had been together for years and got married as soon as it was legal.

“Spill kid, what happened?” she asked as Meri set your whiskey down, handing one to Beth as well.

“We had a big fight, I told you about it. She came home today. I made lasagna. She got upset about the lasagna,” you said. Beth tutted and gave you a look.

“It wasn’t about the lasagna, kiddo,” she said. You sighed. You knew that. You knew it was about more than the lasagna. About more than your work schedule or hers.

“I don’t know what to do anymore. We don’t even sleep together anymore. I sleep in the guest room, have for weeks now,” you admitted. Beth looked at you with a sad smile. You used to work at Mo’s when you were in college. She’d seen your relationship with Natasha grow and change over the years. She adored the pair of you.

“Have you tried counseling?” she asked, breaking the silence. You shook your head.

“That’s the nail in the coffin isn’t it? You go to marriage counseling to admit it’s over,” you said glumly. She shook her head.

“I’ll tell you something, kiddo. Meri and I have been through counseling. Did us a world of good. We weren’t communicating our needs and it spiraled. There was a time we almost split up,” she said. You looked at her in shock.

“But you two are so happy,” you sputtered. She laughed.

“You never know what people are going through. We have our rough patches. Every couple does. Some just need help working through them. Sometimes, ending things is for the best. Other times, it works out. You won’t know unless you try,” she said. You sat there, thinking about her words as she went around the bar checking in on people. You hadn’t looked at your phone since you walked out.

Across town, Natasha sat at the table, eating lukewarm lasagna alone. She never could figure out the right amount of time to let it heat up for. Somehow, you always managed to do it perfectly. She swore you were magic.

She knew she hadn’t been fair, but there was so much weighing on her lately. Between the team and the two of you continually struggling with the adoption process. Last time the two of you had been about to sign the papers when the mother backed out. It had devastated both of you, but Natasha put on a brave face, for you. She had been gutted. She couldn’t get pregnant and you had no interest in being pregnant.

Adoption had always been the goal but the pair of you hadn’t had luck. The state had denied your application to be foster parents on the grounds that Natasha’s job would endanger the children, no matter how much the pair of you argued that you had the means to protect the children, no matter how many people argued on your behalf. Adoption through a private agency was your only option.

She knew it tore you apart. You wanted to adopt. You wanted to be a foster parent to help those kids who couldn’t be with their families for various reasons. And she couldn’t give you that. She was the reason you couldn’t. She blamed herself even if you wouldn’t. She knew she was pulling away, that she hadn’t been fair to you. .She wasn’t surprised when Clint walked in.

“I know you Natasha. You love that woman. So do you want to tell me why you asked Tony about a divorce lawyer?” Clint asked, grabbing an apple from the counter and leaning against it. Natasha sighed.

“She’s not happy,” she said. Clint raised an eyebrow.

“Did she say the words ‘Natasha I’m not happy, I want a divorce?’ or are you jumping to that conclusion without talking to her like an adult?” he asked.

“You don’t understand,” she said.

“Try me, Tasha. Make me understand. Because you two have been off for months now. She never goes to the compound anymore. She didn’t come last time you came to the farmhouse. What’s going on?” Clint asked.

“We had an adoption lined up,” she said.

“Had...so what happened this time?” he asked. She sighed.

“What always happens. The mother decided to keep the child. Which is her right. I respect that. I just...I wish it didn’t hurt so bad. Our application to be foster parents was rejected because of me. I’m the problem,” Natasha said, her voice cracking. She was good at hiding her emotions, to a fault. Clint pulled her into a hug as she broke. He had only seen Natasha breakdown once since they had met.

“It will work out. You know how I know? Because I know the two of you. You two are two of the most stubborn people I’ve ever met. Have you talked about counseling?” he asked. Natasha shook her head.

“I feel like that’s admitting we can’t work it out,” she replied.

“It’s not, Tasha. It’s admitting you need help communicating with each other and that’s okay. You two can’t keep living like this. Bucky let it slip that she mentioned she’s been sleeping in the guest room. He said she shut down after saying that and changed the subject. He said he’d just asked how the new bed was that the two of you got...Tash, how long has she been sleeping in the guest room?” Clint asked. Natasha ran a hand through her hair and sighed.

“About a month? I don’t know anymore, to be honest. I stopped counting days after the first week,” she admitted.

“Any reason why?” he asked. Natasha looked down. Vulnerability wasn’t something Natasha Romanoff often showed. Clint could see the pain on her face clear as day.

“We had a fight. The adoption fell through, we had another fight and then the mission. I thought...maybe she’d start sleeping in our room again, while I was gone. That I’d come home and we’d be okay,” she told him.

“I think you know what you need to do,” he said. Natasha nodded.

“I do,” she said.

The light in the living room was still on when you walked in a little past one in the morning. You’d had one drink and spent the rest of your time talking with Beth. You knew what you had to do. You didn’t want to lose what you had with Natasha. Not in the slightest. You looked at her as you put your keys in the dish by the door. You knew she’d been crying. Her eyes were still red-rimmed.

“Hi,” you said, your voice soft.

“Hi,” she replied, her voice raspy. You walked toward her, finding yourself sitting beside her on the couch and pulling her toward you. She wrapped her arms around you. The two of you sat in silence, holding on to one another as if the other would disappear if you let go. It was the first time in a while you had held Natasha without her recoiling.

You remembered that first time she pulled away when you went to touch her. It was after the second adoption fell through, six months before. The two of you had tried three times to adopt. That was ignoring the agencies that had denied you out of the gate because of who Natasha was. You had been attempting to adopt since the start of your marriage, knowing it could take a while.

The two of you sat in the office of the agency that had finally agreed to work with you. The person assigned to your case had a sad smile on her face as she welcomed you into her office. It reminded you of the last time the two of you had been there, receiving bad news.

“I’m sorry. There’s no easy way to say this. Ms. Carson has decided against putting the child up for adoption through the agency,” Catrina said. Your shoulders slumped as you looked to Natasha who had a blank expression. You moved to hold her hand but she pulled away from you.

“So, what now?” you asked, your voice breaking.

“You go back on the list,” Catrina said.

“Was it because of me?” Natasha asked, breaking her silence. Catrina was quiet for a moment. You knew no matter what she said next, that the answer was yes. Last time this had happened, the birth mother reached out. Saying it was nothing personal, but her family thought it wasn’t safe for the baby. Safe. As if Natasha was a danger, you thought bitterly. There would be no where safer for the child than your home. You maintained a suite at the compound, but your primary residence was a home not far from there, with more security features than anyone could ever imagine. You and Natasha had decided early on that you needed your space as a couple away from the compound, especially once you brought children into the equation. You never counted on it being that difficult.

Leaving the agency, you tried once more to take her hand, only to have her pull away. You sighed as you got into the car. The pair of you were silent on the drive home. You pretended you couldn’t hear her cry when she closed the door to the bedroom. You sat at the kitchen table, pouring yourself a drink, losing yourself in your thoughts.

You imagined a life where you weren’t shut down at every turn. At least two kids, didn’t matter if it was a girl and a boy, two boys, or two girls. Playing sports, learning instruments, teaching them to defend themselves. Maybe one becomes a teacher, another joins the team. Or maybe one decides they want a music career. In your dreams, you get approved to be foster parents. You weren’t a superhero like Natasha, but giving kids a safe place to live? You could do that. You could help like that. The two of you had just started the process of getting approved for that. You saw no reason why they would reject you, especially when you knew there were truly awful people out there who were foster parents. It was something that angered you when you dwelled on it too long.

You were pulled from your thoughts when Natasha started playing with your hair. She hadn’t done that in months.

“We need to talk, but I think we need to sleep first,” you murmured. She yawned before nodding. You stood up, taking her hand when you did and helping her up. You led her to your shared room. For the past month, you had only entered to change clothes and shower. Natasha didn’t protest as you helped her into pajamas before changing yourself. You pulled back the covers for her before moving around to your side of the bed. It was a rare side of Natasha, a side you usually saw after rough missions where she was too tired to function properly. You pulled her close, falling asleep shortly after her breathing evened out.

When the morning light streamed through the blinds, you woke to find Natasha still fast asleep, sprawled across you. You kissed the top of her head before extricating yourself from the bed. It was no easy feat to escape the bed of Natasha Romanoff. You managed to get out without waking her, something you took as a personal victory.

You headed to the bathroom, trying not to let your thoughts wander. You weren’t naive. You knew things weren’t magically fixed. As you washed your hands, you looked at yourself in the mirror and sighed. You hadn’t been sleeping well. The previous night had been the best sleep you’d had since before you’d started sleeping in the guest room. You headed toward the kitchen, glancing back at Natasha’s sleeping form before leaving the room. You knew breakfast was in order.

When Natasha emerged from the bedroom a half hour later, she smiled when she saw you finishing cooking. You plated an omelette, putting a few pieces of bacon, some homefries, and toast on the plate before bringing it to the table along with yours. Her toast had her favorite jam spread on it. You glanced up when you heard her footsteps against the hardwood floor.

“Morning sleepyhead,” you said with a light laugh. It felt normal. But both of you knew it wouldn’t last long. Anxiety twisted in your stomach at the thought of the conversation you needed to have. You knew this was make or break. You weren’t sure what you’d do if she didn’t agree with the idea of counseling. You weren’t sure if you two would make it to your fourth anniversary if you didn’t go.

“Morning,” she said, sitting down. You set a glass of orange juice down beside her coffee before sitting down. The two of you ate in silence for a few minutes before you decided to take the plunge.

“I think we should see a marriage counselor,” you said. Natasha took a bite of her food as she looked at you, head slightly tilted with a small smirk on her face. You knew that look.

“Is this breakfast to butter me up to be open to the idea?” she asked.

“Breakfast is my apology for letting you walk out that door for a three week mission without saying ‘I love you’,” you said. The two of you didn’t sit down for breakfast often. Usually it was bowls of cereal or oatmeal as you rushed around getting ready for the day.

“I think we should. I was thinking. And I talked to Clint,” she said. You raised an eyebrow.

“Are you telling me Clint Barton suggested we go to marriage counseling? We are talking about the same Clint Barton who on the Fourth of July thought it was a good idea to try to launch a firework from his bow, that Clint Barton?” you asked. She laughed.

“He may do stupid things, but he had a point. Everyone’s noticed something is wrong. We just...don’t want to admit it to ourselves,” she said. You nodded.

“Beth, she uh, she gave me a recommendation. She and Meri went to counseling, apparently still go every once in a while,” you said, sounding unsure. She nodded.

“Make the call. If they trust this counselor, that’s enough for me,” she said. It wasn’t uncommon for you and Natasha to have dinner with the two women. They had never had children of their own, but it wasn’t uncommon for a teenager kicked out by their family to find their way to the older women. They owned the bar in town and a good portion of their staff had at one time or another been housed by the women for one reason or another.

Another month found you in your fourth session. Natasha had requested to be kept off longer missions for the time being unless it was unavoidable. The first session had been your standard getting to know you session. The following two hadn’t seen much progress. You both beat around the bush on the elephant in the room. Dr. Reynolds had you write down questions you wanted to ask each other. Yours went in one dish, Nat’s in another. You stared at Dr. Reynolds when she read Nat’s question.

“Pardon? Can you repeat that?” you asked, unsure if you heard her correctly.

“Would you still love Natasha if you never are able to have children or foster?” she read. You looked at Natasha.

“Nat?” you asked, your voice soft. She looked down.

“I know you want to adopt. I want to too. But every time we’ve tried,” she said. You moved to cup her cheek as she turned to look at you.

“Natasha. I love you. I chose you. I’d love you if your skin turned green and your sprouted goat horns and an extra five eyes. Yes, I want children. And I still believe it will happen for us. But if it doesn’t, that doesn’t change my love for you. Some things are out of our control. Does it change your feelings for me if we don’t have kids? If we never get to be foster parents?” you asked.

“No...but I’m the one who’s the reason why it’s fallen through every time. I’m the reason why we can’t be foster parents,” she said.

“And I don’t care! Natasha, I love you. And that’s not changing. The fact that you think I’d leave you because of things that are out of our control, that hurts. That hurts. I know it’s a dealbreaker for some people, but Natasha, you are my person. I don’t walk away just because life isn’t going how we hoped. One day, we’ll expand our family. I know it. Maybe it won’t be how we planned, but...it will happen,” you said.

“I feel like I’m holding you back,” she admitted. You shook your head.

“You aren’t. Do you trust me?” you asked.

“Of course I do,” she said.

“Then believe me when I tell you I’m not going anywhere,” you said. It was a draining session. The pair of you were drained by the time you walked in the door. Natasha held up three menus and you pointed to one at random. She nodded and went to order your dinner, knowing it’d be a bit before the food arrived.

The two of you ate in silence. It had been a long day. You and Natasha had agreed in counseling to give it one more try with adopting. You weren’t sure you could handle another heartbreak, and you knew she was feeling the same way. After dinner, you went for a walk with Natasha. This time, you were keeping the news about the adoption to yourselves, not wanting to get your hopes up. The agency had reached out saying they had someone who had chosen the pair of you to adopt their child. You could only hope they wouldn’t back out. You had met with the woman and her boyfriend, that morning, two young kids barely out of high school.

“Why did you choose us?” you asked after you had been introduced to Michael and Danielle. They shared a look and he squeezed her hand in comfort.

“When we saw you two on the list...we knew there was no other option. Our child will be safe with you two. We know it. They’ll be loved and well cared for. Dani...she didn’t have the best childhood,” Michael said. Natasha’s brow furrowed. Recognition flashed on her face and you gave her a confused look.

“You were in the Red Room,” Natasha said quietly.

“Until a woman and her family came and saved me when I was a child,” Danielle said with a nod. You understood in that moment why they had chosen you.

“We aren’t ready to be parents. But we know the two of you will love and protect them,” Michael said.

“Of course we will,” you said. You dared to allow yourself to fill with hope. This time was different. You knew it.

The two of you walked in silence, your hands laced together as you walked through the neighborhood. You smiled as you saw your neighbors in their yard with their kids, allowing yourself to imagine when it’d be you and Natasha doing that. She squeezed your hand and looked at you with a small smile.

You knew a child didn’t fix things, you weren’t naive. But you and Natasha had seven months. Seven months before the baby would be here. Seven months for things to fall apart with the process again, but you refused to allow yourself to think of that. The stress the process had put on your relationship was impossible to deny. But you had hope. It would work out.

It was another three sessions until the two of you opened up to Dr. Reynolds about the pending adoption. Neither of you had told anyone. Not Clint. Not Bucky. Not even Beth and Meri. You were both afraid that talking about it would jinx it, that Michael and Danielle would decide to keep the baby or decide that they didn’t feel comfortable with the Black Widow raising the baby.

“Have the two of you talked about it outside of meeting with the couple?” Dr. Reynolds asked. You both nodded.

“A little. We’re trying not to get too excited. We know a baby won’t fix us. We know a baby might complicate things more. But we feel like we’re heading in the right direction. This is what we’ve wanted for years,” Natasha said.

“I’m scared. I’m scared that we’ll allow ourselves to be excited, and the rug will be pulled out from under us again and break us. I don’t know if we can handle another heartbreak,” you admitted.

“That’s a natural reaction, especially in your situation. The two of you are in a much better place than you were two months ago when you first came to see me. Don’t get me wrong, there’s always progress to be made. But you both are in a much better place,” Dr. Reynolds said.

You left the appointment feeling lighter. You and Natasha decided to head to Mo’s after. The bar had good food, and you both wanted to talk to Beth and Meri.

When the two of you sat down at the bar, you saw the look Beth gave her wife. You weren’t surprised when a plate of mozzarella sticks ended up in front of you.

“Well aren’t you two a sight for sore eyes?” Meri asked. You smiled at her.

“We’ve been busy,” you said.

“How are things?” Beth asked.

“Good, really good,” Natasha said.

“Actually, that’s why we came in. Natasha and I...we think...we think this time it’s going to work out,” you said, keeping it vague. You saw both women light up.

“Oh, sweetheart, that’s wonderful! You two, you deserve all the happiness this world can give you,” Meri said.

“I think this calls for the good stuff,” Beth said, turning to find a bottle. You shook your head with a laugh as she grabbed a bottle to pour four shots. She may have been in her sixties but you knew better than to think her days of taking shots were over. The four of you clinked glasses before taking your shots.

You looked over at Natasha, a smile wide on your face. Things hadn’t been easy, but life rarely was. The one thing of which you were absolutely certain of was the fact that you loved her and you would never stop loving her.

Seven months later, the two of you brought home your baby, your daughter. The road had been hard, but in the end, as you sat on the couch with your wife and newborn, it was worth every bump. As the baby started crying Natasha took her from your arms.

“I’ve got her. Go take a nap. I know you had a rough few days while I was away,” she said before leaving the room. ‘Yeah. This was worth it,’ you thought with a soft smile on your face as you stood up to head toward your room.

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