#ALSO THE WAY IT PAIRS WITH CHINESE FIVE SPICE???

[nitewrighter]

Local white girl has discovered pomegranate molasses in cooking. About to be insufferable for the next 16 months.

[formulauno98]

A Birthday to Remember - Part One - Toto Wolff x Reader

Originally written as an OC, inspired by an amazing request from @latte-luxe, I have rewritten this to a Reader POV, no descriptions and no use of your name. The only brief description is of a butt (you can probably guess why).

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Caution may contain spice. 🌶️🌶️🌶️

Author’s Notes: Disclaimer, purely fiction, no-one is married in this alt-universe.

THE MORNING

It was Saturday morning and stepping out onto your balcony at the Fairmont Monte Carlo, you swept your eyes over the spectacular view. It was a pinch yourself to check if you’re dreaming kind of view of sparkling blue waters, peppered every so often with a gleaming white yacht.

“Good morning, birthday girl.” murmured a husky, heavily accented voice from behind you. Before you even had the chance to turn around, a pair of muscular arms swooped around from behind, coming to rest on your hips, large hands gently squeezing your curves.

“Good morning to you too,” you said, turning around and leaning up to kiss your tall towel-clad Austrian companion, resting your hand on his bare chest as he pressed himself tightly against you. It was yet another pinch me I’m dreaming moment. If someone had told you this time yesterday that this was how you would be spending your Saturday morning you would have laughed and called them crazy, but sometimes life could be crazy.

THE NIGHT BEFORE

It was a sunny evening and you were standing out on the balcony with a glass of wine in your hand, gazing across the Mediterranean whilst waiting for your three best friends to get ready. As a lifelong Formula One lover, a weekend trip to Monaco had been on the cards for a while so when your friends asked where you wanted to go to celebrate your special birthday it was at the top of the list. Turning the dream into reality was another thing altogether and you still couldn’t believe that the trip had materialised. A trip had finally made it out of the group chat.

Dinner was due to be lowkey as Saturday was going to be the big night out, with dinner plans at Elsa, a Michelin-star establishment, followed by a night on the tiles at Jimmyz, a club frequented by the world of Formula One. Although you couldn’t afford to come for a race weekend, this was truly a bucket list trip and you hoped to catch a glimpse of some nice cars, the iconic track and if you were lucky maybe even a driver or two… A wild Charles Leclerc sighting in Monaco was like spotting Mickey Mouse in Disneyland.

Friday night’s restaurant of choice was Song Qi, an upscale Chinese restaurant in Larvotto that had come highly recommended. You were looking forward to seeing what made Monaco so special and couldn’t wait to hit the town.

“How long is the walk?” A voice called out from your suite.

“About five/ten minutes.” You replied, sighing, as always the mom of the group.

“Medium heels it is then,” your friend Olivia replied.

“We can always get a car,” you suggested.

“No, let’s conserve the taxi budget for tomorrow night,” Olivia said, stepping out onto the balcony to join you, “Laura and Becca are almost ready.”

“Good idea,” you replied, “You look gorgeous by the way.”

Olivia beamed with the compliment, stepping back to twirl in her pink minidress and sparkling sandals, “I try my best, although I can’t compete with you.”

You blushed, not used to the compliments. You’d chosen a simple white dress with gold sandals for the evening’s dinner, perhaps a risky move in a restaurant serving noodles but you felt fabulous. It wasn’t long before Laura and Becca also emerged, both looking as beautiful as ever. The four of you had treated yourselves to two adjoining suites and opened up the connecting door to create a mega-suite.

“Oh la la, give us a twirl,” you said, looking your elegant friend up and down as she dutifully spun around.

“Beautiful!” Now it was Laura and Becca’s turn to blush. “Ditto! Shall we get going?”

“Sounds like a plan.” you agreed, the four of you making your way off of the balcony.

——

Song Qi turned out to be an excellent choice, with the table weighed down with baskets of dim sum and bowls of noodles, crispy beef and endless wontons. The restaurant was decadent but comfortable and as you sank back into your sumptuous green velvet chair you spotted a strangely familiar face at the table across from you. He was dark-haired, handsome with chiselled features and although he was sat down, tall, as he towered above the two men he was dining with.

It took you a moment to realise that it was none other than Toto Wolff, the affable Mercedes Formula One team principal. Although you thought it was only for a moment, you must have stared for a while as he briefly met your eyes and shot you a charming smile. Smiling back like a fool, your friends whipped their heads around to see who you were smiling at, fortunately, Toto not noticing as he had returned to his plate.

“Damn girl, he’s kinda hot, in that old businessman kind of way,” said Olivia, turning back around to face you.

“Well yes…” you stuttered, “He’s also one of the team principals in Formula One.”

“Huh?” Asked your three friends blankly, not followers of the sport.

“Kind of like the equivalent of a football manager,” you explained, “Except he owns some of the team as well.”

“Fancy, well he’s pretty. You should go and talk to him.” Said Laura, all formula one facts going straight over her head.

“Oh my god, no,” you said, “I’m sure he was just being polite.”

As if on cue, Toto looked up and locked eyes with you once again, his deep brown eyes crinkling. You gulped, returning his gaze with a smile once again.

Dinner continued, with the girls chatting away as every so often you met Toto’s eyes across the crowded restaurant. He looked to be in some kind of business meeting as the two men with him were dressed smartly and looked serious while conversing with them.

It wasn’t long before dinner had been cleared and a smiling waiter emerged with a chocolate cake laden down with a sparkler and numerous candles, Olivia, Becca and Laura looking at each other mischievously before breaking into a rousing rendition of the Happy Birthday song. You felt your cheeks reddening as you realised the entire restaurant, including Toto and his business associates had joined in the song. As you blew out the candles, you once again locked eyes with Toto who was grinning away while applauding.

“You guys are the worst,” you said, half joking as you shook your head at your friends. “But that’s why I love you.”

“Aw, well we had to do something,” said Laura, “It’s not every day you have a big birthday like this and although I still don’t understand why you love your car racing so much, I’m happy that we came here.”

You smiled at your friends, appreciative of them enabling your desire to walk around the Formula One track and visit the car museum despite the fact they really weren’t interested. Just as you were musing how ironic it was that you’d even seen Toto Wolff, their waiter reappeared with a tray of drinks.

“Oh, I don’t think we ordered those,” said Olivia politely.

“Yes Madame, in fact, the gentlemen over there sent them alongside their birthday wishes.” The waiter replied.

You were floored, Toto Wolff had sent you birthday wishes. An interesting turn of events.

“Well, then that’s very nice of them,” said Olivia, as the waiter set them down, nudging you before adding, “You should go and say thank you!”

“Oh my God, yes, go!” Said Becca, egging Olivia on.

Sighing, but also buoyed by your friends’ enthusiasm, you relented, “I’m going to go but only to say thank you.”

Your three friends squealing with excitement, you took an extra sip of your drink for courage before standing up and sauntering over to where Toto and his associates sat. His interest piqued immediately as he noticed you making your way across the restaurant.

“Good evening, sorry to interrupt but I just wanted to say thank you for the drinks, it was very kind of you,” you said, a little too quickly due to nerves.

“Well, it’s not every day you celebrate a milestone like that.” Replied Toto kindly, standing up to hold out his hand to shake yours, “I’m Toto by the way, and this is Jean and Sebastian,” he gestured at the older gentlemen he was dining with.

Struck by the almost comical height difference you introduced yourself and looked up at the tall Austrian in front of you as he gripped your hand very tightly, “Nice to meet you all.”

The other gentlemen smiled politely, wishing you a happy birthday before picking their conversation back up. Toto, however, remained stood up, his eyes raking your curves. “A beautiful name for a beautiful woman. It’s nice to meet you too.”

Now you really were blushing, “You’re far too kind.”

“Not at all,” he said, “I hope you do not think this forward but would you like to join me for dinner one evening?”

Once again, your eyes widened, how was this man asking you out? Pulling yourself together, you knew you had to politely decline, you were here with your friends after all, “I would love to but unfortunately I’m only here until Sunday so I’m not sure if I’ll have time.”

Toto looked disappointed but pressed further, “Well then, how about a drink later this evening?”

Trying your best to stay calm, you tried to play it cool, “I’m not sure, it’s a girl's trip and I don’t want to ditch my friends, I really would love to though. Maybe can I get your number and text you once I’ve figured out their plans?”

“Understood,” replied Toto, looking down, gazing into your eyes with an unreadable expression, “It would be my pleasure, give me your phone.”

With that, you handed your phone to the tall Austrian in front of you who deftly punched in his contact. “Thank you, I’ll check in with the girls and let you know. I’ll leave you to your dinner for now but I hope to see you later,” you said with a smile.

Toto turned to glance at his dining companions who were still deep in conversation, and dropped closer down to your ear, keeping his voice low, sending a shiver down your spine, “It’s okay, I don’t think they missed me. I hope to see you later too.”

Looking up at Toto with a smile, you replied “I’m sure they did. See you, Toto.” As you turned back towards your table you glanced back over your shoulder and saw Toto’s eyes were locked on you as he returned to his seat. He was undeniably hot and as much as you always abided by the golden rule, chicks before dicks, this was special circumstances.

Sitting back down with your friends, they immediately leaned in to get the lowdown.

“What did he say? He didn’t take his eyes off of you!” said Laura excitedly.

“He just wished me a happy birthday… and asked me out,” you said blushing.

“No way!” exclaimed your three friends in unison.

“You’re going to go right?” said Olivia, looking at you in concern.

“I’m not sure, I don’t want to ditch you all for a man but equally he’s hot as fuck and it would only be for an hour or so.”

“An hour or so?” said Becca, raising her eyebrows, “I doubt this, but you should go, make it a memorable birthday!”

You looked over once again at where Toto sat, he was a striking man, pushing all of his success to one side. “What the hell, I’ll message him now. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Your friends squealed with excitement in unison.

You grabbed her phone and nervously began typing your message to Toto.

It’s all good for tonight, we’re almost done eating so I’m free whenever you are.

You could see Toto excuse himself and take out his phone, shooting a grin from across the restaurant before looking down to type a response.

Sure enough, your phone buzzed.

Perfect, so are we. Shall I meet you outside in ten minutes?

You replied excitedly, still not believing you were texting Toto Wolff of all people. 

Sounds like a plan.

——

You were nervous but excited as you saw Toto and his associates pay their bill and head off, Toto shooting you a wink as he jostled his way out of the restaurant.

Settling their own bill, your group were close behind and as you exited the restaurant, sure enough, you saw Toto standing outside waiting, leaning casually up against a column.

Bidding your friends goodbye, you made your way towards your date for the evening. “Hi,” you said somewhat awkwardly, knowing that your friends were likely watching from where they were ordering a taxi to return them to the hotel.

“Hi,” he said, glancing down fondly, “How was your dinner?”

“So good!” you said, “How was yours?”

“It was okay, my dining companions weren’t as lovely as you but I think my evening is improving,” he said with a rakish grin.

You smiled, “You’re a charmer, Toto. Where were you thinking of heading?”

“I know a place a few streets behind, it’s not so fancy but they have an excellent selection of wine if you like it?”

Knowing that you were already a little tipsy, you were grateful that he’d suggested wine, “Sounds good to me, lead the way, Mr Wolff!”

Toto whipped his head around, “I never told you my surname.”

Feeling you’d made a huge error of judgement, you stuttered, Toto’s dark eyes intimidating you before you decided the best course of action was to fess up, “Well it took me a moment but I recognised you. Guilty as charged.”

Musing quietly, Toto’s expression softened, “So you know a little about me, tell me about yourself.”

As you made your way around the twisting streets towards the bar, you filled Toto in on your background, your blossoming career and your plans for the big birthday weekend. He was an engaged listener, asking you questions and interjecting with his own anecdotes. Certainly surprising for a man of his stature.

Soon enough you arrived at your destination, Toto taking the lead and speaking with the Maitre D’ who promptly led you to a secluded table towards the back of the bar.

Settling down on the chair opposite Toto, you were suddenly much more nervous. 

“You look nervous,” Toto said, his eyes softening.

“Well, this is not how I thought my evening was going to pan out. The ruse is up in that I recognised you so I may as well tell you that we came to Monaco because I love Formula One.” you blushed furiously as your words tangled into one.

“Relax, so you know about Formula One?” he said, reaching across the table, taking your hand in his and tracing small circles with his thumb on the back of your hand.

“Well, probably not as much as you.” you laughed, breaking the tension and gazing into his eyes.

“You’d be surprised,” said Toto shrugging with a smirk. “I just got lucky.”

——

As the evening went on, you discussed everything under the sun, the wine helping you feel less awkward and forget who you were talking to. Toto was funnier than you expected and you spent half the evening giggling at his stupid remarks. He’d regaled you with stories of his travel adventures, driving mishaps and various other anecdotes, whilst you’d filled him in with tales of your own travels and some embarrassing childhood moments. You’d even bonded over your love of all things with an engine. Time had flown by and you didn’t want the evening to end.

“Ahem.” Your conversation was suddenly interrupted by a waiter, “Monsieur, Madame, I am sorry to say that we are closing in ten minutes. Can I take one last order?”

Knowing that you were well beyond tipsy, you shook your head, looking at Toto to check if he was in agreement. Looking somewhat bleary-eyed himself he shook his head as well, “Just the bill please.”

Soon enough the cheque had been settled and you found yourself once again wandering the moonlit streets of Monaco with Toto, this time your hand firmly encased in his.

“Where do you need to go?” Toto asked kindly, “I can drop you back.”

“I’m staying at the Fairmont,” you replied.

“It’s not so far, are you happy to walk?” he asked, squeezing your hand.

“Sure, it’s just up there,” you replied gesturing at the bend in the road where the hotel was perched, “As long as you can get home okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” said Toto, a dark look in his eye. “Remind me, when do you leave again?”

“Sunday afternoon,” you said sadly, wishing you were staying for longer.

“Well, you’ll have to come back next year for the Grand Prix,” he said, a twinkle in his eye.

“Maybe if I rob a bank!” you said with a chuckle, “One day.”

“I don’t like to boast, but I might know someone who can get you in without having to resort to organised crime,” he said, laughing with a deep rumble.

“Oh really?” you said, turning to face Toto in the inky moonlight, “Is he nice?”

“Very,” said Toto, dropping your hand and placing his hands on either side of your waist, swaying slightly in his merry state.

Laughing, you stretched up to look Toto in the eye, “I’ll have to meet this guy, he sounds great.”

At that your lips met, Toto bending down to plant a soft kiss on your lips, the height difference making it slightly a challenge but one that neither of you seemed bothered by. As the kiss deepened, Toto began to run his hands down towards your perfectly rounded ass, squeezing gently as he found your curves.

Breaking apart for air, you glanced around, luckily there was no one in the empty street but you didn’t want to risk being caught making out in the street with a famous face and it being splashed across the tacky tabloids.

“Do you fancy a nightcap at mine?” you asked, looking up at Toto through your fluffy long lashes. As a rule, you never normally brought men back on a girls' trip but you decided tonight was a special circumstance. 

Toto’s eyes lit up, “Well, I have heard the view is nice.”

You laughed, grabbing Toto’s hand once again and leading him towards the corner entrance to your hotel. As you crossed the lobby you had a sudden panic that Olivia was in your room, and as you made it into the elevator, sent a frantic text knowing your friends would still be awake, waiting for the post-date debrief.

Red alert, I’m bringing him back, please can you vacate?

Sure enough, the replies came back instantaneously.

Oh la la of course birthday girl! 

Get it girl! 

Knew it!!!!!

Smiling as Toto rested his hand on the small of your back in the elevator, you looked up at him before he once again swooped down to catch your lips with his.

The elevator dinged before things could get too heated but it didn’t stop Toto wrapping his arm tightly around your waist as the pair of you stumbled towards your room.

“Here we are,” you said, scrambling to find your keycard in your bag before popping open the door to unveil your impressive suite. Thankfully your friends must have tidied as the detritus from getting ready for the evening was nowhere to be seen.

“Nice,” said Toto before bending down once again to continue kissing you, turning you around to face him as you closed the door. Pressing you against the wall with his leg, he continued to deepen the kiss, his hands starting to explore more of your body.

“As soon as I saw you I knew I had to have you,” he said, his lips resting against your ear, his deep Austrian accent rumbling.

You gulped, you never would have thought it but his voice roused something deep within. Your lips stretching up and finding the crevice of his neck, you replied in a low voice, “Then have me.”

Toto needed no invitation, scooping you up into his arms, he carried you over to the bed, throwing you down before leaning over and continuing to kiss you, his strong arms either side, pinning you down.

Emboldened by his eagerness, you wrapped your legs around his thick torso, pushing yourself against him, not surprised to find a growing bulge. As he ground his hips into yours, he started to explore your curves with his large hands, ghosting your breasts and waist and reaching around to caress your ass once again.

Reaching up, you started to unbutton Toto’s shirt, exposing a surprisingly muscular frame. Impatient, he leaned up and divested himself of the shirt as well as the rest of his clothes, leaving him in nothing but boxers. You couldn’t help but smile at the view that greeted you as he once again lunged down to kiss you, this time, his hands making quick work of pulling your dress off, leaving you exposed in nothing but lingerie and heels.

“You are ridiculous,” he said, his eyes hungry with desire, gazing into your eyes and gently kissing your neck.

“I could say the same about you,” you replied breathily, your back arching in pleasure as Toto kissed his way along your neck and across your collarbone.

Melting into each other’s arms, you began to grind back against his now prominent hardness, feeling yourself getting more turned on by the second.

“Toto?” you asked, gasping for air, “Will you fuck me?”

Toto’s eyes lit up, “I thought you’d never ask.”

Smiling at each other, Toto reached down to unhook your bra, releasing your pert breasts, “Fuck,” he said, lifting his head to marvel at them, “Even better than I imagined.”

You blushed at his words, not used to such attention. Growing impatient you ghosted your hands down Toto’s abs, hooking your fingers into the waistband of his boxers.

“You’re an impatient little thing aren’t you?” he said, leaning back suddenly and hooking his arms underneath your legs, gripping your thighs and bringing you closer. “I want to taste you first.”

Gulping you leant back, allowing Toto to bring his mouth to where you needed it most. As his tongue lapped gently, he brought his hand along and began to stroke your clit, slowly but sensually.

It wasn’t long before you were writhing in pleasure, tugging Toto’s dark locks as he pumped a finger in and out, continuing to expertly lick.

“Toto, I want you in me,” you said, seeing stars as you were so close.

Pausing his ministrations, Toto was more than happy to oblige, kissing his way back up your torso as he replied, “I want to do everything with you.”

At that, you melted, the evening had turned into one that was beyond your wildest dreams. As Toto swiftly undressed you both, you gazed into his intense chocolate eyes as he slipped on a condom and began to line himself up, unsurprisingly intimidatingly big.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle,” he said, pressing a kiss to your forehead as he pushed in, slowly but surely. Gasping, you shifted to adjust to his size. True to his word, he took it easy and entered tantalisingly slowly, an inch at a time.

“Fuck, Toto.” you said breathily, “You’re so big.”

Smiling, he pulled back out before pushing in once more, “Tell me if it’s too much.”

“Not at all, it feels good,” you said, feeling pleasantly stretched in places you’d never felt before.

“Good,” he said with a grin as he began to thrust in and out lazily, continuing to kiss you.

It wasn’t long before you were a tangled mess of arms and legs, both nearing completion. “Fuck, Toto, I am so close,” you said, your eyes rolling back in pleasure.

“Close isn’t good enough,” said Toto, smirking as he reached down and found your clit once again, his thumb circling gently as he continued to push in and out, speeding up.

“That feels so go…” you couldn’t even finish your sentence as Toto hit the sweet spot with expert precision. 

“Fu…” was all Toto managed as he thrust in and out a few more times, chasing his own high before collapsing on top of you, his body heavy.

“Ooff,” you said, crushed by the weight of the muscular man on top of you.

“Sorry,” he said sheepishly, flashing a shy grin as he rolled off to lie beside you.

“Well… that was not how I expected my birthday to turn out,” you said, feeling like you were in a dream.

Toto laughed, stretching a strong arm across your stomach to pull you in for a cuddle. “There’s still a few hours of your birthday left.”

Your eyes widened once more. This was certainly a birthday to remember.

[saintrocklee]

✧ Happy ✧

 ✮ Kisame x you ✮

18+; no big warnings on this one. this is a fluffy AU, aka Kisame being cute, reader being cute; we’ve got a little bit of spice but nothing detailed or crazy - still 18+ though, mdni. Kakuzu makes an appearance for like five seconds, so shout out to daddy K. there’s mentions of alcohol, breaking & entering, and cursing. also i didn’t heavily edit this i was just vibing. okiii enjoy <3

Looking at you while you scooped another bite of ice cream into your mouth, Kisame rested his chin on his hand and smiled softly. You caught his eye and grinned before holding your spoon out to him.

“Want some?”

He shook his head and contented himself to watch you finish off the dessert. It was a newer place - you had dragged him here as soon as he got off work, complaining that you never got to see him anymore. A bold faced lie - Kisame had cut back hours ever since you both picked a date for the wedding, but he couldn’t say no to those sad fucking eyes and those damned shorts you were wearing.

So now he’s here, at some fine eatery place, watching you eat ice cream, and honestly - he’s happy. The happiest he’s ever been, and sure Hidan can call him pussy whipped all he wants, but it didn’t matter. Nothing compared to this. To you.

Kisame’s eyes flicked to the window behind you to watch a woman stumble past the restaurant, chuckling at the poor dude who followed after - her purse and heels in his hands. You’d jerked your head around to see what was happening before turning toward him, grinning around the spoon in your mouth.

“Do you remember when we first met?”

Kisame snorted and pushed off the table to lean back in his chair. Of course he fucking remembered, you had literally burst into his life like some kind of malfunctioned wrecking ball.

It had been late on a Saturday night. You’d drunkenly burst into his and Kakuzu’s old apartment, singing some obnoxious pop song he’s heard on the radio a thousand times. You had thought it was your friend’s place and it was one of the few times Kisame had forgotten to lock the door. He remembers your outfit vividly  - you had been wearing one of the trashiest little club dresses he’d ever seen, heels dangling on your wrist, hair wild and messy. Your lipstick had been smeared and he remembers staring at your mouth a beat longer than socially appropriate.

Not that he was too concerned about being appropriate - you were the one breaking and entering.

He remembers the glittering jewelry on your ankle and your bare feet with tiny manicured nails. He remembers the way your dress clung to your hips and thighs. He remembers the fact that you seemed to be covered in body glitter and he remembers a lot of it sprinkling onto his freshly cleaned carpet, much to Kakuzu’s displeasure.

Kisame had thoroughly checked you out in the span of seconds - he was a guy with hormones and you were ... well. Attractive. And standing in his apartment. With barely any clothes on. Shedding glitter.

You had gaped at him in shock before choking your way through an apology, slurring your words in a way he privately described as adorable.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry - you’re not who - wow, you live here? That’s ... great, this apartment is great, you look gre - nope. Not what I wanted to - okay! Um! Sorry, bye!”

He’d been in a pair of low hanging sweats, casually getting ready for bed and didn’t miss the way your eyes ... traveled ... before clicking his door shut behind you.

He’d stood there in silence for a full minute before grinning, feeling very full of himself.

A couple of weeks went by before he sees you again, this time in the parking lot. After you’d broken in, something Kakuzu would not let him live down, Kisame had wanted to run back into you.

It had been late into the evening and he’d had spent way to much time at the office. He’d been in a shit mood, ready to order some cheap Chinese food and pig out before passing the fuck out when he got distracted by yelling.

Loud, girlish yelling.

Kisame exited his car to see you screaming profanities that would make Hidan proud at what looked to be a very sorry looking man. He’d had his hands up in an attempt to surrender but you and your vulgar threats weren’t having any of it. Kisame could hear him talking which seemed to set you off more, and suddenly those same heels were in your grip, swinging at him with everything you had.

“Get out of here you sorry piece of shit - I’ll kill you! You ever come near her again and I’ll rip your limp little dick off - fucking asshole!”

The piece of shit in question scrambled away from you and your heels and ran to his car, yelling over his shoulder about calling the police on your crazy ass. Kisame vividly remembers you throwing your head back and laughing, yelling at him to do it asshole and see what happens.

In that moment, Kisame was in complete awe. He’d seen some deranged shit in his day, his friends seemed to attract crazy like it was their fucking jobs, but he’d never seen anyone thoroughly beat someone with heels. He was pretty sure the dude left bleeding.

It was then you noticed him and once again, you were frozen in place at being caught in yet another bad moment. Kisame had idly wondered if this is how you always were, or if it was just shitty luck he’d caught you in ... strange situations like this twice.

You’d both stared at each other for a beat before you cleared your throat and looked around awkwardly, face twisting into grimace.

“Did you - um. Did you ... see that?”

Kisame remembers looking back at the dude’s car that was peeling out of the parking lot at a speed that wasn’t legal and then back to you, amused.

“Didn’t see a thing.”

He’d walked with you into the building and you both entered the elevator in what should have been awkward silence but ... wasn’t. The air between you two was quiet and comfortable, as if you both had known each other for years. Kisame had turned his head to fully look at you - the bikers shorts and worn sweatshirt you were wearing were surprisingly alluring. It was then he noticed you were barefoot again - your toes painted the most obnoxious color of gold he’d ever seen - and he couldn’t help but chuckle. You’d glanced at him, heels in hand, and started laughing too.

Your friend’s apartment was two doors down from his and you’d smiled and waved at him before entering, leaving him alone in the hallway - impressed and nursing the start of a crush.

It’d be another couple of weeks before he saw you again.

But when he did, it was at the coffee shop next door to the apartment building, and you were being pestered by a dude that he would classify as a pussy. You’d been sitting in a booth, legs crossed and bouncing in agitation - those damn heels strapped to your feet. Your polish wasn’t gold anymore, but a pale pink, and your face was twisted with annoyance.

“If I have to tell you to go away again, I am going to shove my heels so far up your -”

Kisame had interrupted, giving the poor kid who couldn’t take a hint one of his more heinous smiles, and placed a hand on the booth behind you right behind your head.

“Hey babe, ready to go?”

The look you gave him would be seared into his brain for eternity. Your mouth had parted in surprise, eyes bright with confusion and recognition, before absolute delight took over. It had his mouth running dry, how happy you seemed to be to see him. Your lips, shiny with gloss, tilted into the biggest smile he’d ever seen on a person and you turned to the guy, cocking your head slightly.

“Mmm, I don’t know. You might need to ask my other boyfriend over here, he’s been making it difficult for me to leave.”

The jackass in question put his hands up in surrender and started to stutter his way through an apology - his beady little eyes flicking from Kisame to you. You’d placed your elbow on the table and rested your chin in your hand, cocky little grin firmly in place. Kisame snorted.

“Good thing I got here when I did, kid. Those heels of hers have done terrible things to guys like you.”

You’d gone so far as to wink at the man before he scampered off and then you turned towards Kisame - that same look of sheer delight on your face. Something warm started to spread through his chest, and he could feel the back of his neck start to heat up. You opened your mouth but turned your head when you saw your friend walk in, waving excitedly. Kisame took a step back to let you exit the booth and as you walked by him, you’d squeezed his forearm.

“Thanks, stranger. I owe you one.”

With that, you’d gone with your friend and Kisame stood there for a moment, letting the heat on his neck cool, before getting in line to order his and Kakuzu’s coffee.

After the coffee shop incident, you seemed to pop up everywhere. Hallway, parking lot, lobby. Kisame wondered if you actually lived in his building or if you just visited a lot. You’d always smile at him, pretty and glowing and so damn happy, and it never failed to make his chest stutter. Words were scarcely exchanged though, and Kisame had decided enough was enough.

He was going to take you to dinner.

Pretty barefoot girl, constantly showing up in his life, smiling at him like you’ve known him forever - he’d take you out to dinner and find out exactly what flavor of lip gloss you used.

Also, your name.

Hopefully in that order.

He’d run into you in the elevator a few days later, drunk and hysterically giggling with your friend. It wouldn’t have been weird, but it was three in the afternoon. On a Tuesday.

You both were getting off when him and Kakuzu were getting on, and you had thrown your hands up when you saw him, heels clacking in the air.

“Yo, it’s my stranger! Hey man!”

Kakuzu had blinked in surprise at how loud you were and Kisame choked back a laugh before stepping out of the way so you and your friend could exit, grinning at the disheveled sight of you. You’d both stumbled out, and he felt that warmth in his chest again when you turned to face him, eyes glazed over from the alcohol.

“Hey! I still owe you one!”

Kakuzu grumbled something under his breath and stepped into the elevator, holding the doors so they’d stay open. Kisame glanced at him before looking at you, eyes making a slow journey down your chest to your thighs - all the way down to your bare feet. Your nails were red and the light from the hallway caught a tiny, silver toe ring. He’d brought his gaze back up to your face and felt heat start to lazily swirl through him at the look you were giving him.

“I’ll collect later.”

Your mouth parted and twisted into a wicked grin, lip gloss glittering, while your friend gasped and started laughing behind you. Kisame stepped onto the elevator and Kakuzu punched the ground level button before crossing his arms. The doors clicked shut and his roommate spoke.

“If you’re going to fuck her, do it when I’m not home.”

Two days later Kisame caught you doing laundry in the communal laundry room. His and Kakuzu’s washing machine was broken and so he was forced to use the communal washers - something he rarely did. He’d found you loading one of the dryers, wearing those damn biker shorts again. You’d stood when you heard him and smiled, eyes shining in surprise, before closing the dryer door.

“Hey stranger.”

Kisame had cocked his head at you and dropped his laundry basket next to an empty washer.

“You live here, girlie?”

You’d laughed and shook your head. His heart, stupid thing, actually fluttered in his chest at the sound of it - and the skin on his neck started to heat up.

“No, but my best friend does. You gonna snitch on me?”

Kisame had snorted and started loading the washer. You two were alone, neither of you in any kind of rush, and he decided he was going to make good on his promise to himself.

“Nah - but that would mean I’ve done you two favors.”

“Oh wow, so generous. So, big guy, how do I repay back this growing debt I owe you?

Kisame had smiled at you then, leaning back against the washer as it started to fill with water. He didn’t miss the way you watched as he crossed his arms over his chest, before flicking your eyes up to meet his.

“Let me take you to dinner.”

You’d blinked in surprise and turned your head to the side, fighting your own smile. Kisame took that time to trail his eyes down, slowly memorizing the way your thighs looked in your shorts and immediately zeroing on your ankle bracelet and pale purple polish. He’d brought his head up in time to catch you turning back to look at him, lips curled in that cocky little grin from the coffee shop.

“Alright.”

And so it went.

One date turned into three and soon Kisame found himself holding you up by your legs against his door, tongue and lips and teeth working against yours fervently. Your tiny little dress had ridden all the way up, leaving your thighs bare for him to touch and squeeze. Your hair had come completely undone, your makeup was smeared, and the noises coming from your throat had his cock jumping in his pants. He could feel your heels scrapping against his back and it shot thrills up his spine - he’d wanted you like this for awhile now - panting and whimpering with those heels of yours digging into his back.

He’d almost had you against the door that night - the alcohol from the club you’d taken him to was making his brain hazy - but you had arched against him and snarled the word bed into his ear while trying and failing to unbutton his shirt.

It had been rough and quick, the way he fucked you. You’d been grinding on him for hours at the club, teasing him, laughing, and the shots you’d talked him into had him only thinking with his dick. You’d both passed out soon after, clothes half on - shoes, phones, wallets, and jewelry all thrown across his room.

When Kisame woke the next day he had a mild ache behind his eyes and the taste of liquor on his tongue. It took him a moment to remember what happened. It took him another moment to realize you were still in his bed, passed out on top of the comforter, drooling all over his favorite pillow. Your leg was hooked around his and your hand was on his stomach, twitching as you slept. He’d watched you for a moment, taking in the smeared lipstick and eyeliner that someone still looked good on you, before trying to locate his phone without moving too much.

Once he’d found it, Kisame zoned out - checking his work email and mindlessly scrolling - glad he at least had some sense to put it within reach last night. It wasn’t long before you started to stir, body moving slowly against him. You woke up with a groan and buried your face into his pillow, no doubt getting makeup and glitter all over it. When you’d peeked up at him you both looked at each other in silence before you started giggling.

It was then Kisame realized he could probably wake up like this for the rest of his life.

The next time Kisame fucked you was later that same day. Kakuzu had been out on a business trip, so you’d stayed for breakfast. After showering and changing into some clothes Kisame had given you, you’d eaten eggs and toast in his kitchen and the two of you talked. And talked. And talked.

Eventually, talking turned to teasing which turned to flirting and soon Kisame had you sitting on the counter, lips on your neck, hands squeezing your thighs. You’d been impatient, whining and clawing at him, but Kisame was having none of it. He’d taken your wrists and pinned them to the counter next to your hips, holding you in place, mouth on your ear.

“You need to settle down and let me take care of you, sweetheart.”

You’d froze at his words, mouth running dry, and soon his head was between your thighs while his fingers worked absolute ecstasy into you. Kisame remembers making you come twice, right there on the countertop, before you were babbling and begging for him. He’d carried you back to the bedroom then, and spent another hour worshiping you, before collapsing on top of you, spent and sated.

After that, the two of you were inseparable. You’d constantly texted him - sexy little messages he’d read during meetings, dumb memes and corny pick up lines throughout the day, random thoughts and tidbits about your day - and he’d honestly felt like a teenager. He’d call you anytime he was in the car and you’d both would talk endlessly about nothing. Weekly date nights turned into daily meetups. Coffee, dinner, a short walk - anything to spend time together.

You’d introduced him to your best friend and he’d introduced you a reluctant Kakuzu, who didn’t complain about you at all after you’d left - something Kisame considered a win. After that, you’d introduced him to the rest of your friends, your coworkers, and he’d even talked to your mom once on speakerphone.

Kisame was more ... hesitant about you meeting the rest of his friends - but as soon as Hidan heard about you beating some sad sack of shit with your heels he deemed you worthy of Kisame’s attention. Itachi had given him a nod of approval and Konan even hugged you when you’d said your farewells - which meant you had officially been accepted into the group.

It wasn’t long before you’d slipped and called Kisame your boyfriend - which make his brain short circuit. You’d looked ready to take it back before he had pulled you into his lap, suddenly frantic for you. Neither of you had initiated the talk, but somehow this was better. Boyfriend, girlfriend - the labels didn’t matter too much to him but knowing you’d wanted a relationship - that you wanted something serious - had him light headed and spinning. Soon you were between his legs, mouth wrapped around his cock, and Kisame came with the words love you just on the tip of his tongue. He’d choked them back and managed to keep it to himself for another month, before he couldn’t take it anymore and whispered them against your forehead one night right outside of the restaurant you two had just left.

He remembers the way you looked up at him, that same look of shock on your face from the coffee shop all those months ago, before you were kissing him. Kissing and kissing and pulling his lips between your teeth, muttering something about getting the hell out of there before you had him on the street in front of God and everybody. You’d rode him slow that night, teasing and unhurried, and afterwards you’d curled around him - your mouth on his ear.

“Love you too.”

Everything fell into place after that. Months turned into years and now you were there, in front of him, engagement ring sitting prettily on your finger. You’d been laughing and scoffing as he reminisced about your first moments together, finishing up the bottle of wine you’d ordered.

“I never did finish repaying my debt to you - for not snitching on me.” You teased, sipping back the last of the wine, hiding a smile behind your glass.

Kisame snorted and reached into his jacket, nodding at the waiter who was making his way over.

“You did when you agreed to marry me.”

The small, drunk smile you were sporting turned into a delighted grin, but before Kisame could grab the check from your waiter you’d snatched it effortlessly and placed your own card into the bill, blinking innocently. Kisame scowled and you’d shrugged, leaning back in your seat.

“Looks like you owe me now.”

Kisame felt heat flash through him at the way you were looking at him and leaned forward, grinning.

“Yeah, sweetheart? And how do I repay back this growing debt?”

Your eyes lit up and you waved your hand nonchalantly with a shrug.

“I have a few ideas.”

[zintranslations]

Kaleidoscope of Death, Ch. 120

Kaleidoscope of Death by Xi Zixu Link to Chinese / Novel Updates

Chapter 120: The Thirteenth Door

Right after the new year, it came about time for Gu Longming to enter his door.

Ruan Nanzhu selected a sixth door hint slip, and on it was a name familiar to all—Minotaur. A monster from ancient Greek mythology with a bull's head and a human's body that guarded a maze.

In the myth, it was a creature of an extremely violent temperament born of a human and a white bull. Shut away in the Labyrinth on the island of Crete, it ate seven pairs of boys and girls each year. Then it was killed by a bastard son of Athens, Theseus. Point was, there wasn't much intel to gain about the door from a hint like this. Only once they went in and encountered the actual situation could they connect it to the hint on the paper slip.

Lin Qiushi also showed this hint to Gu Longming ahead of time. After Gu Longming received it, he expressed his thorough gratitude for Lin Qiushi, and Lin Qiushi too was forthright with a vaccination—he said that in this door, he could not be responsible for Gu Longming's life, and Gu Longming ought to prepare himself accordingly.

Gu Longming agreed to every stipulation, and said he had already prepared himself for never coming out.

Their time of entry was roughly the tenth of the lunar new year, when celebrations were trailing off, leisurely vacations were coming to an end, and everybody grew busy again.

Lin Qiushi readied everything and began to wait for the door.

The tenth quickly came. It was a bright, sunny afternoon, and few people were in the mansion. There was only Lin Qiushi sitting in the living room eating Lu Yanxue's freshly cooked pumpkin seeds. Lu Yanxue's culinary skills were, as usual, the best; the pumpkin seeds she fried up were flavored with the five spices and fragrant as all hell. Lin Qiushi could pass an entire afternoon with just a handful of the stuff.

Ruan Nanzhu had already gotten changed and was waiting upstairs. Lin Qiushi saw that it was about time, and so hoisted his hefty backpack and headed upstairs to go look for him.

Due to their last door, Lin Qiushi intentionally stuffed his bag with a great number of food items. Daily necessities from outside could be brought inside, but weapons that were more against the spirit of the doors were not. Guns and other firearms, for example, could not be brought inside.

Once you'd entered the doors, of course, there might exist some special limitations, like in the sanitarium door when the NPC told them the rule where they could not eat food brought in from the outside. The reality was that these kinds of limitations were rare, but all Lin Qiushi wanted to achieve was the principle of Better Safe Than Sorry. At any rate, the condition from the tenth door where they had to open a chest if they wanted to eat had left quite the shadow on his psyche.

Lin Qiushi entered Ruan Nanzhu's bedroom and sat with him on the bed for a while. Then he felt the atmosphere around him change. It took only the time of a blink for Ruan Nanzhu, who had been sitting right beside him, to disappear without a trace. Lin Qiushi pushed open the bedroom door in front of him and saw that what had originally been the hallway was now a series of twelve black metal doors. What a familiar sight.

He walked to the sixth door and gave it a tug. The next moment, Lin Qiushi was sucked in by an immense force. The scenery around him was also altering dramatically, and by the time he opened his eyes again, he could feel a faint rocking beneath his feet.

Lin Qiushi took a closer look, and discovered that he'd appeared on a large old ship. It was just about sunset, and there were black clouds frighteningly low in the sky, as if they were going to smother the horizon at any moment. Inky seawater tossed before him, blown into violent waves by the winds.

Lin Qiushi smelled the gamy salt of the ocean, and because of the excessive waves, the ancient deck beneath his feet was ceaseless in its swaying. He saw that on the floorboards, there were seaweed-clung creatures clutching at the wood, making for an immensely uncomfortable sight.

Lin Qiushi took a few steps forward and saw in the ship cabin a dim-glowing light. He followed the corridor to the interior, and heard miserable wailing coming from inside.

"Uwaaaa, why am I here? What the hell did you all do to me?!" It had been a while since he last heard these cries of a newbie—Lin Qiushi was actually a bit surprised. He spotted the crying person immediately. It was a young woman, wiping at her tears with her hands. "You goddamn perverts, you guys must have kidnapped me. I'm going to call the cops and have you all arrested!!"

Most people were listening to her sob in silence. Newbies, after all, only ever reacted in so many ways: most cried; some tried to run; and some, of the truly psychologically frail sort, came in and pretty much had an immediate meltdown.

Lin Qiushi stood where he was. He noticed that around this girl were a few people who didn't look so good, who also seemed in various degrees of panic. They clearly weren't prepared to enter a door, and were likely newbies like the girl. But at least they weren't wailing endlessly like the young woman, and were still calm in comparison.

Lin Qiushi's gaze searched through the crowd and very quickly found its target—a woman seated in a corner and smiling at him.

The woman wore a long dress—the same outfit Ruan Nanzhu wore before they came in.

Lin Qiushi had the script in his head, and he took his time approaching the woman and holding out his hand: "Yu Linlin."

"Zhu Meng." The woman took his hand and smiled. "The red thread of destiny found us inside this door, let's cherish this meeting."

Lin Qiushi couldn't help but laugh.

"Indeed. Let's cherish this meeting."

Really, this little drama queen of his—putting on a show even when there was no stage to be had.

Just as the two were talking, a young man came tumbling in through the door. Though his face was unfamiliar, his clothes told Lin Qiushi his identity—it was Gu Longming, who'd agreed to meet with Lin Qiushi over the internet.

Gu Longming was entirely soaked. Once he came in he began to curse under his breath: "fuckers, throwing me on a lifeboat—why don't you just throw me into the ocean huh? Goddamn jealous of my beauty or what—"

Though he kept his voice down, Lin Qiushi's hearing was superb, and so could easily hear all the crap he was spewing. For a moment, Lin Qiushi himself didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Of course, he didn't laugh. He only cleared his throat once and covered his mouth with his hand, swallowing down the urge to smile. Gu Longming's eyes lapped the gathered people and very quickly fell upon Lin Qiushi and Ruan Nanzhu. He came over with a bright grin, greeting the two as if they'd just met completely by coincidence.

As a matter of act, this little trick where they faked a chance encounter was only useful for the earlier doors. Once in the later doors, that old fox-spirit manifested in everyone, and not having a partner actually made you the odd one out.

As for whether or not somebody would identify them as part of the same crew, Lin Qiushi used to worry about that. Now though, not so much.

The cabin of the old ship wasn't big, nor was it bright. The only lighting equipment was a handful of tiny kerosene lamps overhead, flickering periodically with the sway of the ship.

The sky grew darker outside, and the number of people kept increasing. Finally, it stopped at the count of fourteen.

Everybody assessed their surroundings as they met up with their own teammates. The crowd seemed to be very quickly divided up into teams, with the handful of newbies left out. Without much choice, they had to make up their own team.

Just as the crowd grew noisy with discussion, a middle-aged man came in from the outside. His get-up looked a bit like a medieval pirate, and he carried a swaying kerosene lamp in his hand.

"Welcome to the Black Skerry," the man spoke. His voice sounded quite raspy, like the effects of long-term drinking or smoking had brought about irreversible damage to his throat. "I hope you all have a good time here."

After he finished saying this, he laughed like a maniac, and his high-pitched laughter, like fingernails scoring a chalkboard, sent goosebumps rising along the skin.

"In ten days, the Black Skerry will reach harbor," the man said. "Our voyage will end then, so please enjoy our wonderful time together."

Just as he finished speaking, somebody rushed out of the cabin. Lin Qiushi first thought that this person had gotten scared, but not long after, there came from outside the sound of violent vomiting—it seemed that some unlucky bastard was seasick.

"Where in the world are we?" The sobbing young girl had also been scared by the man before her, and she spoke: "are we filming a show? I'm really, really scared, can I please quit? I don't want to play anymore, I'm begging you…"

The man completely ignored her. He merely went on watching the crowd with a cool gaze.

The girl seemed to want to go up and take hold of him, but when she got to his side she suddenly stopped, face draining of all color. She then backed up a few steps, as if she'd seen something truly terrifying.

Lin Qiushi's eyesight wasn't as good as Ruan Nanzhu's, and due to the dim lights he didn't see a thing. It was Ruan Nanzhu who quietly explained the situation to him:

"That person's covered in some sort of black insect."

Gu Longming shivered.

"Is he dead or alive then?"

"I don't know," Ruan Nanzhu said. "Doesn't look too good either way."

Under typical circumstances, only the NPC who provided them with the key information was somewhat normal. If even that NPC wasn't normal, then there really weren't any normal people to speak of.

Lin Qiushi hadn't imagined that their door this time would be an ancient ship. And by the looks of things, the time limit was ten days.

"Come along, I'll take to to where you'll sleep," the man said. "It'll be dark soon…and it'll rain."

After this, he began that manic laugh again, and the group was even more disturbed.

The man brought them to the guest cabins and began divvying up the rooms.

Most of the rooms here were doubles, with a rare triple here and there. At first, Lin Qiushi was assigned a double, but Gu Longming brazenly went and found a man to switch room numbers with, strong-arming them into a triple.

"You'll bargain for even this sort of thing?" Lin Qiushi shot Gu Longming a look of admiration.

"Well I'm scared of dying, aren't I…" Gu Longming said. He didn't want to sleep alone, and though it wasn't quite right to be a third wheel, being a third wheel was much better than being dead.

Ruan Nanzhu’s smile was inscrutable.

"That's fair."

They'd planned to inspect the entire ship, but because the night was already so dark, moving about outside would be too dangerous. They would rest first, and wait until tomorrow to make plans.

And so the three got their key and went to their room, getting into bed after quickly washing up.

When Ruan Nanzhu went to change, Gu Longming took the opportunity to poke at Lin Qiushi, whispering, "yo, not cool man, how come you didn't tell me you had such a pretty girlfriend?"

Lin Qiushi answered a vague: "…mh."

"Oh she's stunning," Gu Longming said with a sigh. "If I had a girlfriend like that I'd want to stick around her every day too."

As he spoke, he looked to Lin Qiushi with an expression that was both envy and admiration.

Lin Qiushi watched him back and wondered how he would react if he knew Ruan Nanzhu was drag queen. Of course, it wasn't something he could tell Gu Longming now. Gu Longming was not yet part of Obsidian, and the fact that Ruan Nanzhu wore drag was Obsidian's biggest most vital secret…

After Ruan Nanzhu got changed, he came back inside.

"What are you two talking about?"

"Nothing," Lin Qiushi answered in brief. "He said you were pretty."

Ruan Nanzhu replied with a meaningful oh.

Gu Longming: "…" Why did a chill suddenly go down his back?

The beds on the ship all emanated a damp smell—very uncomfortable for the people lying on top. At this point, the waves and wind were getting bigger, and even the sleeping quarters were beginning to rock. Lin Qiushi remembered that ridiculously seasick, endlessly vomiting pal of theirs from earlier and thought that that guy was pretty much done for.

The sky outside gradually darkened in entirety, leaving only the bellowing winds and the sound of waves beating against each other. With his eyes shut, Lin Qiushi grew drowsy—but before he could fall asleep, he was woken by a sudden crack of thunder. It was like lightning had struck right above their heads. With the loud boom, all three of them awoke in an instant.

After that, it was the pattering pour of rain. The rushing rain and the howling wind—they seemed on the verge of destroying everything.

Their quarters rocked even harder. Lin Qiushi sat up in his bed.

Through the window, he looked to the black evening outside. He saw, however, two illuminated lights. It seemed like the only light sources on deck were kerosene lamps, but how did these lamps stay so bright in the middle of a thunderstorm…? Just as Lin Qiushi wondered this, he suddenly felt that there was something off about those two lights, and Ruan Nanzhu, sitting behind him, spoke up quietly:

"Don't look anymore."

Lin Qiushi, "hm?"

"Those aren't lights," Ruan Nanzhu said. "Those are eyes."

A pair of yellow, inhuman eyes. The owner of the eyes spied through the darkness with malicious intent, as if a beast looking for its prey.

Lin Qiushi instantly looked away, and asked, "what is that thing?"

"I don't know, I can't tell," Ruan Nanzhu said. "The shape is humanoid, but it doesn't seem to be human."

Lin Qiushi's brows lightly furrowed, but by the time he looked out the window once more, the eyes were gone.

Thunder rumbled on and on, and that stench of ocean salt grew thicker and more cloying.

Ruan Nanzhu climbed into Lin Qiushi's bed, and holding each other, the two very quickly returned to sleep. However, the only bachelor present Gu Longming didn't have such luck. Lying beside Lin Qiushi, he stared with plaintive eyes, thinking that in the following days, he'd be fed enough dog food to bloat.

The rainstorm lasted until dawn, and though the rain let up, the weather did not turn any sunnier. Black storm clouds still hovered over the ship, and when the alarm rang, Lin Qiushi actually thought it was not yet morning. He checked the time, however, and saw that it was 8AM. It was just still dark outside.

"Good morning," Ruan Nanzhu greeted Lin Qiushi.

"Good morning. It's so dark outside today."

"It's probably going to keep raining," Ruan Nanzhu said. He walked out onto deck with Lin Qiushi and watched the black waters roil underneath the ship.

Looking up, they couldn't see any land, only the endless swath of sea. Only the old ship beneath their feet felt like any sort of reality.

This sort of isolating environment was easily taxing on the psyche. Even for Lin Qiushi, the scene before them was discomforting.

"Come on, let's go get breakfast," Gu Longming called to the two.

"He's pretty thick-skinned," Ruan Nanzhu commented after hearing Gu Longming's call.

"Yeah," Lin Qiushi said. "His nerves are petty good."

Inside the doors, you didn't have to be too smart, but you definitely had to be brave enough. Before terrifying situations, fright could make a person abandon a large part of their cognitive abilities. The smartest person could lack a strong heart and still do worse inside the door than the obtuse, oblivious Cheng Qianli.

The three went to the dining area and found there an atmosphere that could very well be called lifeless.

Lin Qiushi didn't know why at first. After he saw the menu, however, he couldn't help but also feel a touch of depression.

All the ship offered was fish. And it wasn't even fresh fish—Gu Longming poked at a dead-eyed staring head with his chopsticks and said, "is this thing even edible?"

It was disgusting just to look at.

"It looks gross," Lin Qiushi said. "Try a bit?"

Gu Longming took a bit of meat from the gills and gave it a taste. His expression twisted.

"Fuck, did they deduct the food budget for this door or what? It's disgusting. It's like they’ve had it outside for three days. You try it?"

Lin Qiushi, "oh no, no thank you."

Gu Longming: "…"

The breakfast served in the dining room was, for the most part, stale fish. Aside from that there was only flavorless noddles and peas. The environment had already been vicious enough, but the food in front of them now was salt on top of the wound.

But Lin Qiushi and Ruan Nanzhu didn't care at all. After seeing the inedible breakfast they snuck back to their room and fetched from their bags the food they'd prepared.

Gu Longming watched as they pulled out a bottle of chili sauce, eyes bulging out.

"You guys even brought Lao Gan Ma? Did you come here to picnic?"

"Want some?" Lin Qiushi drizzled the Lao Gan Ma over some noodles they'd brought out of the dining hall.

"Yeah yeah yeah. More please." Gu Longming's expression was shameless.

With breakfast finally done, they got ready to search the ship.

There were a total of three decks in the ship, constructed a bit like the sailing vessels of the great nautical era of the Middle Ages. It was extremely old, was all, covered in the marks and traces of times past.

Beside that NPC, they didn't see any other crew members on deck; there was likely only the one NPC on the entire ship. Wait for the ship's return was the mission the NPC left for them this time, but Lin Qiushi had thorough reason to believe that if they couldn't find the door in ten day's time, this voyage of theirs would cycle back and repeat—and they'd experience the ten days all over again.

When Lin Qiushi climbed onto the second deck, he heard a sort of thumping sound, and was uncertain if Ruan Nanzhu and Gu Longming had heard it as well. So he asked, "did you guys hear that?"

"What?" Gu Longming didn't seem to have heard.

Ruan Nanzhu said, "I think I did, but not very clearly."

"I think it came from the corner…" Lin Qiushi followed the sound forward. "Let's go see."

But before they could get close, Lin Qiushi was hit with a thick, fishy stench. It was disgusting and nauseating to smell; fortunately Cheng Yixie wasn't here, or he might have passed out immediately upon smelling it.

The source of the sound and smell was the same room, and they were close enough now that both Gu Longming and Ruan Nanzhu could hear the thumping noise as well.

The three of them slowed their steps, and through the window, looked into the room.

It was a kitchen with knives and other tools hanging inside. The most eye-catching thing, however, was the dense masses of dead fish hung up on hooks all over the sides.

A person in an apron stood in the center of the room with their back towards them and head down. They were chopping something. After some observation, Gu Longming almost gagged, and said, "don't tell me he's making our breakfast—"

Ruan Nanzhu was very calm.

"It's possible."

Gu Longming did gag. He'd even had a bite of that fish that morning.

Lin Qiushi gave Gu Longming a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.

This person in the kitchen, however, was the second living NPC they'd found on the ship.

The three of them stood watching in the kitchen doorway for a while, and saw that besides chopping fish, this person didn't do much of anything else. And so they decided to go see elsewhere first.

Very soon, they discovered a more peculiar room. This room was locked, and curtains were drawn over the window. It was quiet inside, but they could still smell that thick waft of stale fish. Lin Qiushi initially thought the smell had clung to them from the kitchen, but after a careful sniff, found that it was coming from inside the room.

"Do we go in?" Gu Longming was pressed against the window trying to look in, but he could see nothing.

Ruan Nanzhu gave this some thought, before saying, "let's try," and getting out a hairpin to pick the lock.

Watching his adept motions, Gu Longming's eyes widened. Then Gu Longming glanced at Lin Qiushi.

"Is this…is this a basic skillset that y'all come with?"

Lin Qiushi grinned as he joked, "yeah. You have to learn to pick locks if you want to join us."

As he said this, there was a click. Ruan Nanzhu really got the lock open. But oddly enough, after he unlocked the door and gave it a push, he found that though the door lock was undone, there was another lock hanging on the inside. The chain on that lock held the door closed, and they could at most manage a crack—it couldn't be opened at all.

"Wait," Lin Qiushi suddenly said, stopping Ruan Nanzhu from going up and pushing the door. "Stop for a second. There's movement inside."

Ruan Nanzhu halted, and just as he stopped mid-step, a hand, sharp-nailed and covered in scales, reached out of the door. And through that crack in the door, a pair of yellow eyes looked out, peering at the world outside with malicious intent.

Translator’s Note:

The name of the ship could more simply be translated as “Black Reef,” but “Black Skerry” sounds more like a ship name? Let me know if you think otherwise (or know if it’s a specific reference to something).

Lao Gan Ma is a brand of **hot sauce (edited: 7/26), as you can probably tell from context. The original next never uses “hot sauce” though, and just call it Lao Gan Ma in both the prose and the dialogue.

[Ch. 119] | [Ch. 121]

[mysticalmusicwhispers]

glimpses into a calmer universe

a gift for @luyous, because you once made some posts asking for indchu fics, and I started writing indchuran for the hell of it, but never finished until now. I think this could fit in the indchuran: bros for life AU but only after they get together, since there’s less pining than usual. Anyways, this is very overdue, but I hope you enjoy!

A little bit of domestic fluff. 3 glimpses into the indchuran universe through three different perspectives. Iran/Persia is Roshan, and they’re genderfluid.

Also on AO3!

———

The smell of food is wafting upstairs from the kitchen. It tempts Aditya sorely, and he tries to resist—he has a rather crushing workload to get through today—but five minutes later his feet are padding softly on the first floor landing, the tiles cool under his bare soles. He stops in the doorway, idly tracing the spots of afternoon sunshine dancing on the walls, and watches the figures of his two loves, side by side in the kitchen. Yao is standing in front of the stove, spatula in hand, and Roshan is at his side in front of the sink, busy washing something Aditya cannot see. They are talking quietly above the sizzle of the wok and the sound of water gushing out of the faucet, a perfect picture of domesticity, all easy smiles, gentle touches, quiet jokes and careless laughter. An intimate synchronization of movement, like their hearts are beating in time. It strikes Aditya that his heart suddenly feels like it is overflowing, and he supposes he’s done enough watching from afar—for today, at least. 

Yao hears him coming first, and turns around as he enters the kitchen, but doesn’t say anything, just acknowledges him with a smile and a softening of the eyes, and begins to heap the stir-fried ants-on-a-branch—the vegetarian variation, with diced shiitake mushrooms instead of minced meat—onto a plate. When Roshan sees him, Aditya is treated to a warm smile and a kiss on the cheek that smells like roses before they turn back to washing the spinach, cilantro, and parsley—Aditya thinks they’re for the reshteh that recently appeared in the kitchen cupboard—in the sink. 

He offers to help with the washing, or the onions (even though they make him cry, which always makes Roshan and Yao laugh), but Roshan pushes him lightly out of the kitchen and Yao makes sure he doesn’t go back in. So Aditya is forced to sit at their small dining table, debating whether to finish his work or enjoy the afternoon sunshine streaming in from the glass back door. The work, he decides, isn’t worth it, and instead he goes back to watching Roshan and Yao work. He refuses to think he is admiring them. 

Nevertheless, it isn’t long before he’s too caught up in staring that he doesn’t notice Yao nudging Roshan and whispering “Aditya’s pining again”. But when Roshan catches him staring, they just smile cheekily, wink, and blow him a theatrical kiss that still makes Aditya’s throat catch and his heart stutter, even after a year of dating them. When they turn back to chopping herbs, the sunlight catches on their hair, coating it gold. Aditya is reminded of Roshan’s name, and Yao’s—and their meanings: light, shining. 

He does not think himself sentimental, but sometimes—many times—he wonders if they were fated to be. And he supposes it is not too cliche to admit to himself, privately, that his partners are the lights of his life.

———

Yao pauses at the entrance of the Ferry Building Farmer’s Market, still wondering whether it was wise to bring Aditya and Roshan along, and whether they will drag him to every place that sells anything vaguely shiny before leaving. But just as he thinks this, he makes the mistake—and it is definitely a mistake—of turning, and catches Aditya grinning at him, flashing an easygoing smile—a smile he’d do anything to keep, and he relents. But his regrets, or doubts, or whatever the vaguely self-preserving feeling in his chest is, must have shown on a slight frown or in an imperceptible sigh, because Roshan kisses his cheek and says,

“Come on Yao, we’ll handle ourselves. We won’t get distracted and we’ll be back at home in no time, exactly as you planned.” They wink at Aditya, which is never a good sign, but it’s still enough to wheedle him into agreeing, however fondly exasperated he is, and however certain he is that they will waste half the day away, as usual. He sighs again—the old man sigh, according to Roshan��but grumbles a “fine, but you need to pay me back in white rabbit”, and watches them veer off towards the artisan stalls, holding hands. Aditya’s hair glints brightly in the sun, and Roshan’s is dyed a rich, dark brown. Like two suns, hand in hand; one bright, the other warm.

Someone bumps into him, and Yao shakes himself out of his reverie. The grocery list is a mile long, and he doesn’t need to waste more time than is absolutely necessary, after all.

But finding all the things he needs to buy takes more time than he likes, and the walk to the Chinatown butcher’s to see whether they have halal live chicken— they don’t—takes even longer, so that it is almost noon (two whole hours, which he realizes with a pang) when he wanders back to the Ferry Building to find Aditya and Roshan in a small jewelry shop, excitedly inspecting a stand of earrings. He watches them for a second through the windows as Aditya holds a pair of dangling yellow lotus blossoms up to his ears and Roshan looks on admiringly. Yao is pretty sure he too is admiring Aditya—he looks truly beautiful, with the earrings and a modest smile and a bright twinkle in his polished obsidian eyes—but some part of him pulls him back into real time and reminds him that although it is a Saturday, he has no time to waste (stupid law firm), and he regretfully walks into the store to retrieve his partners. He thinks—no, he knows—it will be half an hour before he can pull them away from the (admittedly alluring) jewelry displays, but he supposes Aditya’s cheek kiss and Roshan’s cheerful gratitude will be worth it. Anyways, he can always bullshit case briefings and squeeze out extra time somewhere. He’d rather not rush this moment.

———

When Roshan finally trudges home after getting the week’s groceries, neither Yao nor Aditya are there to hold the door open for them, and there is no response when they call out an “I’m back” from the kitchen. They know Yao and Aditya are in the house—Yao’s Hello Kitty slippers are missing from the shoemat—so the only possibility is that they are ignoring Roshan. Sad. They sigh—rather theatrically—but heave everything into the refrigerator without calling a second time, and hope this will be a fair trade for them failing to find white rabbit in Chinatown for the third time in a row. 

Yao and Aditya, they find, are in the living room couch, engaged in another petty struggle over the remote. The newest Game of Thrones episode is playing on the TV Yao shipped from China, and Aditya is furiously muttering about “what a trashy white-produced rapefest show it is” and trying to swipe at the remote Yao grips with white-knuckled hands. Yao, for his part, has not retaliated much at all, besides scooting over to the other side of the couch and obstinately holding onto the precious remote. Roshan looks on for a time, amused, and watches Tywin Lannister’s face loom nastily over them all, until Aditya turns around and catches sight of them in the doorway. 

“Roshan, help me! You can’t possibly agree with Yao’s taste, can you?” Aditya looks thoroughly exasperated, and Roshan almost can’t believe how much his voice begs them to take a side. 

“No thanks. Aditya, you’ll have to fight the good fight by yourself; I’ll be in the kitchen making dinner.” They smirk, and decide that the way Aditya swells up with absolute fury is definitely worth whatever payback is coming. And as they walk back to the kitchen to start washing vegetables for dinner, there is a brief moment of silence as the TV switches off before everything descends into chaos. Yao's yelling now, and, by the sound of it, has started a pillow fight that Aditya joins in with enthusiasm. Roshan glances back, just in time to watch Yao whack Aditya with a flower patterned pillow and scream, 

"LET ME LOOK AT TYWIN LANNISTER AGAIN, ADITYA!" 

They are idiots, Roshan thinks with a smile, but they are their idiots.

———

Feedback is welcome and appreciated! thank you for reading :)

Notes

In the second scene, I just chose a notable farmer’s market in San Francisco at random hhhhh (apologies for any inaccuracies if anyone from CA is reading lol) the Ferry Building Farmers Market is pretty close to Chinatown, and although idk where they live in San Fran, Yao’s gotta get his white rabbit from somewhere right (the live chicken would be for chicken soup, but not the American kind)

Last scene inspired/taken from this ask! thank you bones, this was the fic I was talking about lol

the title was made up on the spot but I was thinking along the lines of “well this is a universe where the three of them are less of a group of bastards and also don’t have to contend as much with complex relations and just be lovers together”

In the first scene, there are two dishes I was referencing:

Ants-on-a-branch: 蚂蚁上树, whose proper name is ants climbing a tree, but I tweaked the translation a little. It’s a Sichuan dish that usually consists of vermicelli noodles cooked with minced meat (pork I believe) and a bunch of green onions and chopped peppers for spice (my parents also add stuff like wood ear, a fungus, and carrots and don’t add pepper but idk how “authentic” that is because we ain’t from Sichuan lol). For a lot of Chinese dishes you can usually substitute meat with shiitake mushrooms to make it vegetarian/vegan.

I tried to imply that the dish Roshan was planning to make is ash reshteh, a Persian dish of thick noodle soup with various herbs, onions, and peas. Kashk or yogurt whey is also a component of the soup and gives it its signature rich sour flavor. Because reshteh noodles are believed to bring good luck, ash reshteh is typically served around the Persian New Year, Nowruz, and at important events, but it can be theoretically be eaten at any time.

[eirenical]

4, 14, 22 and 23 please?

Thanks, @fixaidea!

[If anyone else wants to send asks, you can find the ask meme here.]

(Remember guys... this is a salty ask meme.  So... I tried to keep it polite, but I am salty.  VERY salty.  But keep in mind that these opinions are IN NO WAY judgments of people who like the things I don’t like.  You’re all free to do fandom in your own way and so am I.  But yeah... salty!eirenical is salty.  Read at your own risk.  ^_~)

4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?*

There were two ships that popped into my head immediately when you asked this one, so…

Les Miserables: Jehanparnasse

NO THANK YOU.  They just don't work thematically at ALL for me, like this isn't even a case of opposites attract or differences are the spice of life.  This is everything about both characters is practically ANATHEMA to the other one and I just honestly nope out of a story SO HARD every time I see they're a ship in it. I can't even see it working in a modern AU.  Just… NO THANK YOU.  NOT FOR ME.

The Untamed: Jiang Cheng x literally anyone

I know Xicheng is a popular ship and I have no idea what the ship name for NHX x JC is, but I've seen that a lot too, and I'm sorry but Jiang Cheng is solidly aro/ace in my head, so I just can't really see him shipped with anyone, except in a strictly queerplatonic/married because politics/I'm a sect leader kind of way.  Ironically, as much as I dislike what TUD tried to force between JC and WQ in canon, that's the ONLY popular JC ship I can kind of almost see?  Because politically they would make a good match if either a) Sunshot hadn't happened or b) her offshoot of the clan had risen to preeminence.  I think they'd make a solid working pair and give each other plenty of space to do their own things and that they could make it work. But that's really the only way I could see that happening.

…although.

(I WILL own up to having a bit of a soft spot for ChengXian.  Because I absolutely love me a codependent mess of a relationship where they will LITERALLY sacrifice everything for each other, and I could see that going platonic, because WWX wouldn't cross that line is JC didn't want to, or non-platonic because JC would give WWX anything he wanted if he'd just ask.  So, yeah.  I do have a soft spot for that one, ngl.  ;D  And OOPS, went off topic, so MOVING ON.)

[Under a cut for the rest because, as usual, this got long... ;D]

14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

The influx of antis/purity wankers/people who cancel MXTX without even reading a translation of MDZS.  That is just a whole mess of YIKES that drove me… almost completely out of the fandom, ngl.  It definitely drove me out of the main ship and into the fringes.  I still love Wangxian, don't get me wrong, but I hardly ever read or write them anymore, because all the fandom wank about the novel and Western voices screaming over Chinese and Chinese-diaspora voices just… no.  It sent me running for the hills.  :(

22. Popular character you hate?

…does fanon!Grantaire count? How about fanon!Jehan?  Fanon!bromo!Feuilly was a solid NOPE for me too. Fanon!infant!Courfeyrac ALSO a giant NOPE.  And though Fanon!Bromo!Feuilly seems to have FINALLY disappeared along with his counterpart Fanon!Bromo!Bahorel, thank FUCK, the others are still solidly prolific characterizations and it STILL annoys me.  :P

23. Unpopular character you love?

Though this is becoming less of a problem… FEUILLY FEUILLY FEUILLY.  I feel like for YEARS I was one of like… five voices shouting into the void about how amazing Feuilly was and NO ONE HEARD US. Remember how you'd have 'les amis as' posts with everyone EVEN MARIUS, EPONINE, COSETTE, AND FUCKING MONTPARNASSE, OF ALL PEOPLE… and they'd FORGET FEUILLY ENTIRELY??  Like… fuck THAT.  Sorry. Still bitter.  :P

[purplesurveys]

797

What is your favorite thing to do on your phone? Fucking around on social media like a true Gen Z-er would, lmao. I have several games that I’d play occasionally, but most of the time I just check the same three apps – Messenger, Facebook, and Twitter. Do you know what you are going to be for Halloween this year? If so, what? I don’t even know if I have plans for the rest of the year. Do you still go trick-or-treating, and if so, how old are you? The last time we did was 2015, when we were 17. Nowadays we just have costume parties. Which Disney princess resembles you the most? At the moment it’s probably Moana, but I heard they’re making a Southeast Asian Disney princess so I’m waiting for her :) What color was your first phone? I’m not sure what the model’s actual color was because it was already in a Winnie the Pooh case when I got it as a present, but the case itself was red.

Was your first phone a flip phone? No, it was one of the Nokia ones with a slightly green screen and the Snake game on it. Have you ever butt dialed someone? I don’t think so. It’s normally the other way around. What is your favorite pizza parlor? We don’t have many of that around here; most places serve a little bit of everything with pizzas usually having its own section on the menu. That said, my favorite place to get pizza is Mama Lou’s if I have some cash on me and want to be fancy, and Yellow Cab if I want fast food pizza but still quality pizza. What is an old website that closed down that you miss? I’m pretty sure Tumblr shut down my old survey blog, the one I’ve had since 2012 or 2013, and I’m very bummed out by it. It’s also weird to me because I have a blog that’s been inactive for much longer and that one is still up... so I don’t know why they would shut down the blog that served as my journal during my teen years. I occasionally look back on it to see how I was doing then and compare it to who I am now, so it sucks that I can’t do that anymore. If you're a girl, have you ever had an embarrassing period story? I guess, but I’ve also reached a point where I’ve stopped seeing period mishaps as embarrassing. Stuff like that just happens sometimes, and I can’t be around people who are going to be babies about it. ...If so, what happened? The worst instance was leaking during a PE workout and my classmate pointing it out for me, and then having to change into denim jeans for the rest of the workout since that was the only other pair of bottoms I had.  What was your worst experience in high school? I can remember one but I don’t wanna relive my anxieties here by writing it in full detail so no thanks. What was your high school's mascot? We don’t have a mascot; we only had colors. Do you listen to Grace VanderWaal? Only if she’s on the radio. I don’t dislike her but I also don’t think I’ve ever looked up her music voluntarily. ...if yes, what's your favorite song of hers? I’m not familiar with her song titles. I’ve caught some songs that I liked but I wouldn’t be able to tell you which ones they were. Do you watch America's Got Talent? Only the compilation videos they’ve got on YouTube. Which country has the best accent? I don’t really rank accents lol Did you cry at your high school graduation? I cried the night before. I find that I don’t usually cry when an event that’s supposed to be emotional is happening, but I do cry before or after it. Did you cry at your college graduation (if applicable)? LOL if applicable, fucking same. I think I’ll mostly be relieved when it finally happens because I’m expecting it to keep getting postponed for now. Do your parents try to stop you from chasing your dreams? No, but they’re also realistic. I tried to court my dad about having an internship with WWE at Connecticut, and he was less than enthusiastic about it which I completely understood. What dreams have stuck with you since childhood? My dream house, to go to Wrestlemania, and to have a lot of money hahaha. Who is a former friend that you wish would come back into your life? Egh, I feel like the way life has turned out has been for the best and I’m currently not wishing any of my former friends back. I suppose it would be nice to have my relationship with Macy back, though. Have you ever been in a serious romantic relationship? Yes, like the one I’m in now. Who was your favorite Spice Girl? I didn’t have one but I did have a soft spot for Victoria Beckham since she’s always in fashion magazines and also because her family has always looked so happy. But I never really liked her as part of the group? because I knew about Victoria before I knew about the Spice Girls. Sorryyy please put your pitchforks down I was born in 1998 :(( <333 Did you ever want to be in a band or music group? No. What instrument did you play in the marching band? We don’t have a club like that here. If you could take any one type of dance class right now, what kind you take? Ballet. Who got kicked off of your favorite talent show that you were mad about? There were a gazillion unfair eliminations on American Idol but I remember being most pissed off over Scotty McCreery’s win and Pia Toscano’s elimination. Do you own the entire series on DVD of any TV show? If so, what? I have a bootleg box set of the 80s sitcom Perfect Strangers, but other than that I’ve been able to watch TV shows via torrent or Netflix, soooo. What show did you always want to be on when you were a kid? I wanted to be a part of the dancing audience on Hi-5, and to be dumped with slime at the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards lol. Can you tell the difference between Mary-Kate and Ashley? No. Who is your favorite set of twins? Seoeon and Seojun from The Return of Superman. What is the stupidest baby name you have heard recently? Welp, nothing has beaten Covid Bryant yet... What is the grossest thing you have ever vomited up? Nothing too gross. Just alcohol. Have you ever thrown up in public, in front of someone else? Yes. The sensation of puking terrifies me so there’ve been a few times I asked Gabie to go to the Pop-Up washroom with me, enter a stall also with me, and to calm me down while I throw up D: ...If yes, was it embarrassing? I don’t find it embarrassing because she’s my girlfriend. I’d never ask anyone else to do the same thing for me though. Did you ever take your dog to school? Just once, for my graduation shoot. Name one person you know who had a baby in high school. No one in my batch had a baby while in high school, just shortly after. I’m not naming them but one of them already has three kids, one has a boy, and another one also has a boy. Do you keep a list of your favorite quotes? No. Describe your dream wedding in three words. Lots of food. What is your favorite Chinese restaurant? Tim Ho Wan or King Bee. Does Chinese food make you feel sick? No. Well Filipinos are kinda used to Chinese food, so it would be odd for us to get sick from it. Have you ever seen someone throw up on a plane? Fortunately no. But on a boat and a ship, yes. Do you get motion sickness? Yes, easily.

I’m just going to ignore the next seven questions because I’m tired of entertaining questions like these. Has God ever healed you of anything? If so, what? Do you believe in God? Do you pray, and if so, to whom? What is the most boring church you have ever attended? What is the most lively church you have ever attended? Do you find church fun or boring? When was the last time you went to a church service? When did you learn to ride a bike? I haven’t learned yet. I’ve had a few lucky rounds but they never lasted for more than five seconds. What do you hate the most about summer? The weather. Certainly not as fun when there’s no breeze from the beach complementing the heat. What is your favorite thing to do in a swimming pool? Stay away wherever most of the people are because it’s a little gross. Which part of your body is the most muscular? I don’t know. Do you like sugar skulls? No. Have you ever painted a sugar skull on your face? I probably had it done as a kid. Are you an artist? No. Did you ever take Latin in school? No but we were taught French very briefly because the foundress of my old school is from France. The lessons didn’t really catch on. What was the last race you ran called? I’ve never been in a race/marathon/walkathon before. Do you prefer to run in the street or on the sidewalk? Side of the street. Sidewalks are pretty inconsistent so I’m more likely to trip running on it. Which major holiday is closest to your birthday? Easter is always very near or exactly on my birthday.

[effyeahzimbits]

Swawesome Santa 2018 Submission

Title: Five Times Bitty and Jack Allowed Fate to Get the Better of Them…and the One Time They Took Matters into Their Own Hands Rating: T+ Pairings: Jack/Bitty, mentions of Shitty/Lardo, mentions of Holster/Ransom. Very, very brief Jack/OC and Bitty/OC. Warnings: Alcohol use, brief mentions of Jack’s overdose. Summary: Bitty always felt like he was missing a train he was meant to have taken. Jack always let the universe decide which direction he should go in. It took them three New Year's Eves before they got it right.A 5+1 things AU fic created for the Swawesome Santa, gifted to @loveyoutoobits! I hope you like it.

 Five Times Bitty and Jack Allowed Fate to Get the Better of Them…and the One Time They Took Matters into Their Own Hands   

31st December 2017    Bitty’s first New Year’s Eve in Boston was spent in a bar. He wasn’t a stranger to bars, especially the loud, gaudy one he was in right now. But he had previously rung in the new years with his parents at family parties back in Madison, Georgia, and had been desperate for a change of scenery. When his best friends had suggested a night out on the town, he had jumped at the chance. He never turned down an opportunity to dance and spend the night with his friends.     That was also the night he first met Jack Zimmermann.    

     Now, Bitty didn’t know a great deal about hockey culture. He knew the game and enjoyed it just as much as his friends did, but he never took that much interest in teams’ rosters and star players. But Jack Zimmermann, the Providence Falconers’ current captain, he knew. If only because he scored a hat trick in their last game against the Bruins and Holster was furious for a week. Bitty had been impressed enough to Google him, and had been impressed further by the man’s understated smile and bright blue eyes. Still, he was just another hockey player.     Just another hockey player who turned out to be the best friend of Lardo’s new boyfriend.     Bitty could see right away he wasn’t the partying type. While Bitty and his friends downed shots and sang at the top of their lungs and danced without a care in the world, Jack simply sat at a booth nursing a single beer and watching them have a good time. When questioned he just said he was perfectly happy as he was, and Shitty (Lardo’s boyfriend) would confirm it. Bitty mostly forgot all about him and continued partying. That was, until he felt Jack’s eyes on him.     No one knew how he did it. Hell, even Bitty himself didn’t know how he did it. But one moment he was playfully beckoning Zimmermann from the dance floor, and the next Jack was joining him. He looked just as surprised to find himself there as anyone else, but Bitty wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity. With Shitty, Ransom and Holster all hollering excitedly behind them, Bitty tugged Jack towards him.     It turned out that Jack Zimmermann wasn’t a bad dancer. He was a little shy and awkward at first, swaying stiffly beside him. Bitty would later blame it on the alcohol, but at the time he just simply didn’t think and grabbed Jack’s hand and pulled. Jack’s professional athlete build wasn’t fazed by the gesture, but something in him was, and it was enough to encourage him to move. A couple of songs in, and Jack was matching Bitty’s peppy rhythm.     Bitty couldn’t put his finger on it, especially with his brain fogged with a haze of Jägermeister and Red Bull, but there was something between them that neither of them expected. It was almost an electricity, thrumming with an energy that made the hair on Bitty’s forearms stand on end. It started at their joined hands and vibrated through them until it resonated in their chests. He’d barely said more than two sentences to Jack Zimmermann all night, but suddenly Bitty wanted to kiss him.     He could tell the exact moment Jack became aware of the connection. The easy smile on his face quickly dropped and was replaced with an uneasy confusion. There was a muttered excuse – Bitty couldn’t hear it over the pounding music – and then Jack turned and hurried out of the bar, fighting his way through the crowd. Bitty watched him go, then shrugged carelessly and turned around to dance with his friends again.    It wasn’t until he woke up the next morning, slightly hungover but content, did he wonder if the universe had tried to give him something and he let it pass him by.   5th May 2018     Bitty had explicitly said no parties. Every birthday for the last four years his friends had threw a raging kegster to celebrate. For his first birthday out of college, all Bitty wanted was to call his parents, bake some nice food and share it with his friends over a glass of good wine and the Great British Bake-Off reruns (the better ones, before Mary, Mel and Sue had quit the show obviously). Ransom, Holster and Shitty had taken a little more persuading, but had soon agreed after Bitty had promised his signature peach cobbler and black forest brownies.     His phone call to his parents lasted nearly an hour. His relationship with them had been a little strained since coming out, but it was slowly getting better, and he hung up with a big smile on his face. Lardo had still been in bed at ten that morning, so he went to the store to fetch baking ingredients on his own. It was cliché, but it was a perfect spring day, like it was the movie of his life.     Working as a junior social media and marketing assistant had its perks, like weekends off. Today was a Saturday, so he wandered down to the fresh foods market for his ingredients. The peaches weren’t quite as sweet as the ones back home, but the ones here were a close second. He left an hour later with his tote bag full to the brim with ripened fruit and fresh spices and fingers sticky with pear juice. He stopped by his favourite deli next, the one with the premium butter and organic flour. His budget never usually stretched past Walmart, but he had birthday money burning a hole in his pocket.     It was late afternoon by the time he got home. The kitchen smelled strongly of ground coffee, and he found Lardo perching on a chair and trying to hang purple streamers from the lampshade. She had put on her favourite sweatshirt for the occasion, the one with a rubber duck wearing sunglasses, and that alone made Bitty’s chest swell with happiness. They finished putting up the streamers between them and had lunch, squabbling over whose turn it was to use the one decent plate they had. It was Lardo’s, who overruled Bitty’s birthday argument with a smirk and a flick to his forehead.     An hour later he was elbow deep in pastry when the buzzer rang. It was Ransom and Holster, bearing wine and beer and takeout menus, though they all knew they’d be too full of pie to eat the Chinese food they’d still order. The wine was shared out and they were put to work, greasing tins and chopping fruit. Shitty appeared not long after, and gave Bitty a slurpy, whiskery kiss on his cheek before handing over more wine. He wore a suspicious grin for a whole hour and sang loudly and out of tune to the radio as he peeled peaches.     When the buzzer went a third time, everyone looked around at each other in confusion, except Shitty, who just grinned even wider. Bitty rolled his eyes and wiped his hands on a towel, wondering who on earth Shitty had invited. Maybe a stripper. He didn’t know whether to be disappointed or relieved when he found a shy looking Jack Zimmermann in the hallway. He was pleasantly surprised though, especially when Jack sheepishly held out a small bunch of flowers and wished him happy birthday.     He’d met Jack a handful of times since New Year’s Eve. He’d learned that Jack wasn’t quite as stoic and robotic in real life as his television interviews would have you believe. He was quiet and reserved, but also thoughtful and could hold his own in an intelligent discussion. His accent was just as endearing though, and Bitty found his awkward shyness adorable. Bitty never denied the attraction to himself, but it was never one he would act on either.     Parties and clubs might not have been his thing, but it turned out that quiet gatherings with people he knew were more to Jack’s taste. He threw himself into the baking, listening to Bitty’s instructions with keen ears and following them with enthusiasm. After a glass of wine Bitty would even call him charming, quick to tease or crack a joke. If Bitty didn’t know any better, he’d say Jack was flirting with him when he flicked flour in his face or purposely nudged his pie out of the way when he tried to take a bite. But Bitty did know better. Guys like Jack were never Not Straight. And even if they were, Bitty was never their type.     It was probably the best birthday he’d ever had, anyway. By the end of the night, his and Lardo’s apartment was a complete mess. The streamers had fallen, there were plates and takeout cartons all over the living room and the kitchen was filled with dirty pans and covered in a fine layer of flour dust. They’d eaten and drank until they were fit to burst, argued over which Bake-Off contestant would win in a mud fight, and Jack had offended them all by declaring he didn’t find Mary Berry all that great. Come midnight, Ransom and Holster had wandered back to their own apartment and Lardo had dragged a wasted Shitty back to her room. Bitty told Jack he didn’t need to stay and help tidy, but Jack insisted anyway.     It was only when they were both alone did Bitty feel it again. That strange electricity that drew Bitty towards Jack like a moth to the flame. He couldn’t blame the alcohol this time, not after only two glasses of wine. Jack either wasn’t aware of it, or was ignoring it, focusing hard on wiping flour from the counter tops. Bitty tried to do the same, humming along to the quiet tune playing on the radio as he filled a trashbag full of rubbish. They worked without a word, moving around almost in tandem, like they had done it a million times before.     Bitty didn’t believe in fate, or soul mates, or past lives. At least, he didn’t until their rhythm was suddenly broken and they bumped into one another. Jack had flour on his nose and a dirty cloth in his hand. Bitty had a smudge of cherry sauce on his mouth and was holding a stack of empty plates. They both laughed and then went still. It felt like they were both waiting for something as they looked at each other, taking in lashes and eyes and noses and freckles and dimples and mouths. Waiting for what though, they didn’t know.     Jack’s phone pinged. It was loud enough to break the reverie and they both pulled free from the spell. Jack could never leave a text unanswered, and for the briefest of seconds Bitty wished that he would. Ignoring a text would make him not-Jack though, so he couldn’t be too disappointed when Jack took a step back and pulled his phone from his back pocket. Bitty cleared his throat and continued his task like nothing had happened.     Jack was still staring at his phone screen a couple of minutes later. His brows were slightly furrowed, but Bitty couldn’t read the expression on his face. He questioned him gently, and Jack almost jumped, like he’d forgotten where he was. He managed an apologetic smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He didn’t explain himself or the text message, and simply announced that he had to leave. With a last ‘happy birthday’ he showed himself to the door and left.     Bitty felt like he had just missed a train that he was supposed to take.   31st December 2018     They didn’t go to a bar that year. Ransom and Holster threw a party in their apartment, though it was thankfully not as outrageous as the kegsters they used to host in college. Their work friends were accountants and administrators and fellow consultants so Bitty wasn’t expecting it to get too wild. He’d had a pleasant, sleepy Christmas with plenty of good food and catching up with family, so didn’t mind that this new year was different to the last. Lardo brought Shitty along, who naturally dragged Jack with him. Bitty was over the moon to hear this, hoping that maybe fate would give them both a helping hand this year.     However, it appeared that fate had other plans in store. Jack appeared at the party as promised, but Bitty hadn’t expected to see a young, smiley blonde man attached to his hip. Jack introduced him as his boyfriend, and Bitty felt like the floor had abruptly disappeared from beneath him. It was a lot to process all at once. He’d started to have suspicions that Jack was Not Straight as Bitty had originally thought, and to have that confirmed was a little overwhelming. Then to learn that he was also suddenly spoken for left Bitty with a bitter taste in his mouth.     He and Jack had grown close over the last few months, and he thought that they shared everything over a glass of wine and a slice of pie. It turned out that was wrong though, and Bitty wasn’t sure what he felt more betrayed about. Still, he plastered on a smile and congratulated them as if it wasn’t a knife through his heart.     Jack’s partner was funny and charming and handsome and everyone liked him. Bitty wanted to hate him, but he couldn’t bring himself to. The man had asked for his macaron recipe and talked about his cat for a full twenty minutes for god’s sake. When Bitty had first walked in, he’d eyed the mistletoe hanging over each door with hopeful eyes, but now he just glared at it acrimoniously. It was an ugly way to feel, but Bitty couldn’t help but think the universe was laughing in his face.     The worst thing was, Jack looked happy. Bitty was pleased for him, but it was tainted, and he hated that it was marred that way. He spied Jack’s hand casually sitting on the man’s waist or spotted a chaste peck on the cheek between them and wanted to down another shot. He didn’t want to spend the night torturing himself, but he didn’t want to succumb to the jealousy either. He left at eleven, feigning a headache and smiling through the well wishes.     He would spend tonight pitying himself, and then starting tomorrow he would get over Jack Zimmermann.   August 3rd 2019     Getting over Jack Zimmermann was damned hard. But Greg helped. Bitty had met him at one of Shitty’s law school mixers. He was an ex-college rugby player, dragged along to the event by his friend. Tall, broad, half Greek with a mop of dark, curly hair and an accent that made Bitty’s knees weak. He hadn’t dated seriously since college, and it was hard work. Between working their full-time jobs, Greg’s beer league rugby and Bitty’s figure skating, they barely had enough time to squeeze in dates and time together, but Bitty enjoyed it all the same.     Greg wasn’t Jack. They didn’t share the same sense of humour, and Greg’s taste in music and television wasn’t to Bitty’s tastes, and Greg was bossier and more assertive than Jack ever was. But he was also kind and caring and Bitty had a nice time with him. Even if he wasn’t Jack. But that was okay, because nobody could be Jack but Jack. And Bitty had to be fine about it. He could do that. They hadn’t had time to hang out much lately, but tonight was Jack’s birthday, and Shitty was throwing a get together in his honour. Bitty hadn’t originally wanted to bring Greg along, though he wasn’t sure why. Shitty had invited him too though, and Greg seemed to be looking forward to it. Bitty couldn’t exactly tell him no.      He had no idea what to get Jack for his birthday. What do you get the man who has everything? And if he didn’t have it, he had more than enough money to buy it anyway. This year, Jack had bought Bitty an entire collection of cookbooks from his favourite baker. Bitty knew it cost more than a whole month’s worth of his wages, though to Jack it was probably nothing. How could Bitty match something like that? He knew Jack wasn’t expecting him to, but it still made him feel inadequate.     Whatever it was, it had to be something special. It was almost an apology. I’m sorry we haven’t hung out much and you’ve taken a backseat to my actual Greek god boyfriend. Bitty didn’t think he should feel too guilty though. As far as Bitty knew, Jack was still with his own boyfriend. It was never talked about in the media for obvious reasons, but still, Bitty would know if they’d broken up. No, this get together would be good for the both of them. They could exist in the same room without that stupid electric connection between them. And even if it did appear, their boyfriends would keep it at bay.     Right?     Wrong.     It wasn’t an entire collection of cookbooks, but Bitty turned up on Jack’s swanky Providence doorstep with Jack’s favourite pie and a Barnes and Noble gift card. A feeble attempt, but he’d genuinely been stumped. He knew Jack liked history books, but Bitty was frightened of getting the wrong one. He explained this to Jack in a nervous ramble as he handed them over, but Jack laughed and thanked him sincerely anyway. It was only after Bitty stepped over the threshold did Jack notice who had been standing beside him.     Bitty introduced Greg hurriedly, hoping his edgy fluster wasn’t completely obvious to either of them. Jack was polite and smiley and shook Greg’s hand, but something about it seemed fake. Bitty tried to ignore it, heading straight to the wine. His friends were already around, and he greeted them with false enthusiasm. Once he had his glass in hand and looked around the apartment he noticed Jack’s boyfriend was nowhere to be seen. The pictures of them both were gone, as were the cat hairs and various caps and hoodies they used to share.     Jack and his boyfriend had broken up.     Bitty could’ve kicked himself. He had been so wrapped up in getting over Jack he’d forgotten to be a friend in the meantime. How long had it been since they had last hung out? Or had a lengthy phone call? The only thing Bitty had managed lately was a few quick texts and picture messages every now and again, all of which Jack had promptly replied to. He felt like an idiot. He had to apologise, but he wasn’t sure that this was the right moment. Jack looked like he was enjoying himself.     A few glasses of wine later, Bitty managed to push his guilt aside for the time being. He’d always loved Jack’s kitchen, and couldn’t resist baking in his top of the range oven, no matter the occasion. He was pulling out a tray of freshly baked mini tarts when he realised he was being watched. People had popped in and out the whole time he was baking, to fill up drinks or fetch snacks, but this time the body lingered. Bitty turned to tell them they’d have to wait a bit longer for the tarts to cool, but the words disappeared off his tongue when he noticed it was Jack.     Jack stood in the doorway, a half-drunk bottle of low alcohol beer in his hand. He had a determined look in his eyes that made Bitty go still, though his heart started to hammer in his chest. He didn’t say anything, waiting for Jack to make the first move. The energy was between them again, throbbing loud and unspoken. The metal tray shook in Bitty’s hands.    Jack opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He closed his mouth again, frowned, thought about it. Jack had never been one to say a lot, but each word was usually carefully thought out and selected. Bitty waited, expecting something insightful and meaningful. Jack opened his mouth, closed it, frowned again and thought some more.     Greg made them both jump. He was never quiet or graceful and strode in to the kitchen with a booming voice. He was half drunk, grinning at them and calling back to the others as he filled his glass, stole a mini tart and gave Bitty a swift peck on the cheek. He left almost as quickly as he appeared, but the moment was ruined. Jack gave him a stiff nod and retreated to the living room having clearly lost his nerve.     Bitty slammed the hot tray down onto the marble counter, feeling like he’d missed the train again.   31st December 2019     Tonight, Bitty was going to get drunk. He knew it was silly and immature, but these last few months had been stressful and depressing. He felt like he deserved to let loose and get messy and see off the year in style. A lot of things had happened this winter, including a promotion, Shitty and Lardo’s engagement, and his and Greg’s breakup. He hadn’t been angry or surprised, just disappointed. Greg wasn’t Jack, after all.     Jack wouldn’t be attending the party. He’d had a string of games and a long roadie over the last couple of days and wouldn’t be making it back to Providence until past eleven pm. Bitty knew that Jack would head straight to bed rather than get changed and drag himself to a loud and crowded bar after all of his travelling, and Bitty couldn’t blame him. The season had started off rough, and Jack hadn’t much time for anything in between practicing, playing, resting and all of his extra-curricular events.     Bitty knew this, but couldn’t help feeling frustrated. He’d tried to reach out, especially after his breakup, but Jack felt distant now and Bitty didn’t know how to bridge the gap. He didn’t have the energy anymore. He decided that if Jack was interested in preserving their friendship, it was his turn to make the effort. Bitty wasn’t holding his breath.     It was a fun party. It was the same LGBT+ friendly bar they went to two years ago, and Bitty felt an affinity for it. It almost felt like déjà vu, and if Bitty tried hard enough, he could almost imagine Jack sitting in his corner and nursing his beer. He wouldn’t though, he was done with torturing himself over Jack Zimmermann. He threw himself into the moment instead, filing to memory the song that was playing, the way he felt shimmying to the music, the sight of Lardo’s glittery red lipstick, the smell of Holster’s cheap cologne, the taste of Jägermeister on his tongue.     His phone buzzed at some point, but he ignored it. It buzzed a couple more times and he ignored it again, wanting to switch off from everything that wasn’t this party and this drink in his hand. Midnight was drawing closer, and he was sober enough to be aware of the heavy feeling in his chest. He watched Shitty and Lardo and Ransom and Holster dancing together and all of the other people surrounding him, and he never felt more alone. He suddenly started to wish he was anywhere but there. He wanted to be wherever Jack was.     But Jack wasn’t here. Instead there were dozens of good looking, charming boys dancing around him. A few had tried to catch his eye, and he knew he would have no problem finding someone to dance with. And if they so happened to share a kiss when the clock struck twelve, then where was the crime in that? Just a kiss, on New Year’s Eve, between two consenting adults. No big deal.     The man whose arms he fell into just happened to be tall, and dark, and blue eyed. Maybe he had a type. He didn’t look much like Jack, but if he thought hard he could just feel Jack’s hands on his hips. He looked hard at the boy’s face, trying to imagine Jack in the high cheekbones and full lips. He shook his head, wafting away the daze. That was stupid, he couldn’t keep doing this to himself.     He looked away, but he was starting to see Jack everywhere. A man by the bar had the same jacket. Another guy on the dance floor had the same awkward dance steps. A boy waiting by the toilets had a similar smile. His eyes drifted toward the door and even saw Jack standing there, a single flower in his hands and watching him. But it wasn’t real. None of these men were Jack.     Bitty turned back to the one in his arms and waited for midnight.   31st December 2019     Jack was done waiting. He was tired of letting everything else dictate his life for him. Ever since he was born he felt like the universe had already decided what was going to happen to him. The Q, the overdose, rebuilding his career from the ground up. He couldn’t choose his team. There was only one in the AHL who wanted to set him on after the scandal. He was forever grateful, but it wasn’t something he could choose. He’d worked damn hard to get where he was today. An NHL team, a captaincy and two Stanley Cups under his belt.     The last time he made a decision for himself he ended up nearly killing himself. Even now, he was worried that choosing something for himself could ruin everything. So, he waited. He let people walk in and out of his life as they saw fit. He allowed situations to happen to him, never fighting them or questioning them. It was just the universe deciding for him and he was in no position to try and take control.     Until now.     Jack stood in the doorway of the bar, watching Bitty dancing with another man. He turned the flower around in his hands. It was the same kind he’d bought for Bitty on his birthday a year and a half ago. It was a little cheesy maybe, but he had known Bitty would like it. He’d texted, letting him know he was on his way, but Bitty had never seen the messages. Bitty clearly had different things on his mind. And the old Jack would have turned away, deciding it was just what fate had decided for them, just like always.     But not this Jack.     This Jack was tired and in love. He strode forward, pushing his way past the various bodies towards the dance floor. Bitty’s eyes had drifted over him like he hadn’t realised Jack was really there. Jack couldn’t really blame him. He hadn’t been there, not recently. He’d been caught up in the start of the season, dealing with his own break up, torn between wanting to give Bitty space or comfort him after his. It had been a hard few months for both of them. Jack figured it was time to make it better.     He grabbed Bitty’s arm and pulled him around, ignoring the guy he was dancing with as he protested. Bitty opened his mouth to tell him off, but they were both momentarily stunned as they stared at each other. Bitty was shocked to see him, but Jack was stunned yet again by just how beautiful this boy was. And he was going to have him. He was going to take matters into his own hands.     He’d rehearsed a speech in the car, but the words left his brain. He suddenly couldn’t think of anything to say. He didn’t know how to explain what he was thinking or feeling and awkwardly fumbled. Bitty watched and waited with a familiar patience. Bitty never rushed him. Bitty always knew that each word needed time and thought. But still, the words wouldn’t come. Instead, Jack dumbly held out the flower and hoped that would be enough.     It was.     As the people around them started to chant a countdown, Bitty and Jack stepped forward. No more running away. No more making excuses. No more letting opportunities pass them by. Bitty jumped on the train. Jack took control. They couldn’t help but laugh, gazing at each other like they were the only two people in the world. The clock struck twelve.     “Happy New Year, Bits.”     “Happy New Year, Jack.”     They kissed. The End Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it :) thank you for the notes and the kudos and comments this year - I appreciate every single one of them. For those of you interested - Jack’s mysterious partner was intended to be Kent, but I deliberately left it ambiguous so choose your own!

This was posted for the Swawesome Santa 2018 event and gifted to Loveyoutoobits.

[rm-dimplemaster-blog]

don’t deserve your love (vhope)

(read more break included- press to read the whole fic :) )

for @ollania

The first time Hoseok hits Tae, it's by accident.

Middle of July. All seven of them are working on a complex dance in the practice room. AC is busted—it's literally in pieces hanging off the wall with all its green and yellow wires dangling like tangled-up cat whiskers. Tae is sweating off all his mascara. He put some fairyland purple on his left eye, disco animal black on his right (massive chunks of glitter that poke your eyeball everytime you blink included) earlier in the kitchen while he was catching a tan by the giant window all across his bare back and freckled shoulders. And now it's running down his cheeks, pooling in his cupid's bow, and it looks like he's been crying stardust tears.

The blow comes outta nowhere. An elbow straight to the chin. Knocks him down in a sec cause he wasn't prepared. He falls in a heap on the floor, red and purple striped shirt, dark damp hair and unlaced light-orange snickers.

Someone goes aigoo!

Jin goes waaaa and pushes the bangs out of his eyes using the hem of his tee.

Namjoon's deep voice from the left, to Hoseok you're like a typhoon. With two fingers he does a whirlwind motion accompanied by a whooshwhoosh!

A warm hand on Tae's left shoulder.

Hoseok's face above his: peach-colored lips from a creamy lip balm that makes his cupid's bow all shiny and well-contoured; lashes so fine it looks like they were drawn on with the lightest of mechanical pencils; a black string necklace around his neck with its dove pendant swinging all silver and weightless above Tae's face.

Bits of neon lights weave themselves into Hoseok's hair and beam on the smooth line of neck and shoulder. In the big mirrors: Yoongi scratching an itch on his right elbow, Jimin blowing into his loose tanktop cause midday summer heat, Jin making fun of Namjoon's dancing skills, Jungkook snacking with his nose all scrunched up.

The room smells like Yoongi's raspberry handcream, the detergent they all wash their clothes with, a faint trace of cigarette smoke from the all-black wearing dance instructors, and youth. From above him, Hoseok smells like fresh fabric and sun-kissed jeans and for the first time ever, looking into his eyes makes Tae's heart go a little faster, a little rougher.

Hoseok's soft bony fingers on Tae's face, checking for injuries. Hurts somewhere?

Yoongi you probably knocked some of his molars out.

Jimin ah you make it sound like he has like ninety nine of those.

Namjoon still alive there, Tae?

Jin no, he's freshly deceased.

Tae shakes his head at Hoseok, bangs flying all over the place.

Sorry Hoseok says all small and smiley, music makes my mind go poooof! I lose track of everything. My arms turn into windmills.

He tries grabbing Tae's hands but gets handfuls of red and purple striped sleeves instead. Tae huffs out a laugh through his nose and squeezes Hoseok's hands through the fabric. His jaw aches. So does the side of his face. But it doesn't matter, not now.

*

The second time it's part of a game.

It's past midnight and they're playing the 키스 또는 히트 game. You're supposed to spin a bottle aka truth or dare style: the cap points to you and you get to decide if you smack the receiving end across the wrist or give 'em a kiss. They didn't have a bottle and trying to spin Namjoon's yellow slipper was a fail so they went for Jungkook's pumpkin spooks special Halloween edition lip smacker instead.

They're sitting out in the hallway where all the lights are out for the night. They have Jin's scented candle crackling all soft on one of the mint green plastic waiting chairs

(jin, all eyes:

What if we set off the fire alarm

Yoongi what, with that candle. Ha. Goodluck with that. Weak flame. Plus this building's so old, half the shit here don't work.)

--and like four empty bags of banana chips just lying everywhere and their phone screens are sending fuzzy columns of light towards the low ceiling. The darkness has everyone all giddy and alert and shushing eachother cause they're laughing too hard.

So far it's been a whole lot of wrist smacking, but also a whole lot of kissing and Jungkook's lip balm doesn't only serve as the pointer in the game it's also being passed around for extra softness and sweetness and everyone's lips taste like pumpkin and spice.

Sitting in a circle with shadows under their eyes and flickering orange candle light fluttering in their irises, all seven of them play the night away.

Jimin smooched Namjoon. Slipped on a chips bag while crawling on all fours to get to Yoongi and rolled on the floor laughing for five minutes straight till he was clutching his belly and going all red in the face.

Jungkook smacked Jin's wrist so hard the slapping sound bounced off the walls like an outta control rubber ball

(Jin, gawking at literally everyone did you see what he just--

Jungkook smiled extra wide and his teeth shone almost translucent in the dark)

Yoongi gave an ok to kissing Hoseok but when it was time for him to actually do it he whined

Aish I'm so sleepy and hugged his backpack and put his chin on it and Hoseok wah how lazy can one be took the whole kissing thing on himself and planted a quick one on the left side of Yoongi's mouth to which Yoongi hasn't objected and which made the tips of his ears turn a little red.

When the lip smacker's end ends up pointing to him, Tae hugs his knees a little bit tighter and looks up from behind a curtain of freshly cut and dyed bangs. First time it points to him tonight. Moving his toes inside his red Doc Martens, he blinks around, the sudden silence all around him sticking to his lashes like glue. Six pairs of eyes stare at him in the dark. The hallway smells like pumpkin and grape gum, shampoo and warm skin and past midnight draft.

The cap of the lip smacker pointing to him, Hoseok looks at Tae with a twinkle in his eye, hugging one knee, colorful bead bracelet hanging off his right wrist.

Jin and Namjoon exchange insinuating glances.

Jungkook looks from Tae to Hoseok and back again with his mouth open, curious.

Yoongi says all deadpan kiss is bliss.

Jimin bites his knuckles on a smile.

The dark closes in on him and his heart beats all muffled under his baggy black shirt.

Hoseok looks at him all soft and insecure, pushing the blue and purple beads around, mustering the courage to crawl across the light-orange tiles and weave his fingers into Tae's hair and really gentle press his lips to his.

Tae swallows hard. Blinks down at the tiles without looking up again.

When Hoseok pushes his hair behind his ears and goes on his knees to head his way, Tae lifts up his sleeve and exposes his wrist.

Hoseok kinda freezes on the spot, smile faltering, fingers of one hand splayed out on the floor while those of the other running up and down his thigh, scratching lightly and crumpling the denim.

Whoa Jin says.

Nibbling on his bag's zipper, Yoongi goes hello there tough guy.

Jungkook scrunches his nose plot twist!

You sure? Hoseok asks, whisper the same tone as the smoke curling upwards from the candleflame's belly.

Tae sucks his lips in. Nods. Offers Hoseok his wrist, veins up, making a fist.

Hoseok doen't wanna do it but those are the rules. Setting himself on his knees infront of Tae, he helps him push the sleeve up higher, then grabs his wrist.

He hits with two fingers.

Jimin flinches for Tae when Tae doesn't even blink.  

*

Third time it's playful.

First time they kiss, it's in a street corner in Singapore.

They sky is bluish-grey and short sleeved dress shirts are flailing really faint on the clotheslines overhead. It's funny because with all that bright afternoon glow, the clothesline themselves seem to disappear and if you look up from the street below, all you can see is a mess of shirts and light jackets tossed everywhere amongst the puffy weightless clouds, a senseless scene from a futuristic painting.

The roads are packed with carts full of oranges and apples and chubby rough-skinned pears. Everywhere you look it's food booths with noodles and saucy meats and steamed rice that smells like the ocean and stings your tongue with delicious saltiness. It's flowery parasols that fly open like a flock of birds reaching for the sun; it's girls in dresses and women in sandals that let out a soft squishy sound when the heel leaves the ground. It's lanterns as big as pumpkins filled with light that birds flutter by with a song. It's shop signs with Chinese lettering that Hoseok, during their stroll earlier, used to point to and attempt to read

(what Hoseok said when he spotted Tae giving a little smile after he read aloud a bookshop name.

Tae gave a shy shrug just love the way you make the 'sh' sound when you speak Chinese. I love the way it sounds.)

It's turquoise-painted doors and wind chimes that ring out so delicate it tingles down your spine.

And it's Hoseok's soft hot mouth on his when the wind comes from the left knocking a few shutters closed and billows their shirts and sends their bangs flying into their eyes. Tae's holding a half empty pink glass bottle of fizzy sweet blueberry soda and the straw pushes between his ring and middle finger. His left hand, Hoseok holds between their bodies, almost hidden by the fabrics of their shirts.

It's summer and they're on their first Asia tour and the street smells like oranges and Hoseok presses his forehead against Tae's temple, lashes fanning across Tae's cheekbone.

I'm seeing stars Tae kinda whispers. He's not trying to be funny, it's actually what it feels like, but Hoseok laughs all bubbly and weightless.

He smacks Tae's shoulder, suddenly shy and self aware.

*

Fourth time, it's emotion.

Hoseok slaps Tae hard. The sound rings out across the empty stage like a clap of thunder.

They had just finished rehearsal and almost all the lights are out. Tiny grains of dust float in the air like fireflies. Behind Tae, a giant screen shows chunks of silver glitter falling and falling and falling, endlessly, the loop invisible.

Tae touches his ring finger to his lip. The corner of his mouth is bleeding.

Tae kissed another boy. He wanted to. The love Hoseok gives, he feels like he doesn't deserve. Never has. Never will.

He looks at the smear of blood on his finger. Winces with the stinging tear in his lip. 

This, he deserves.

[toreadorwriter]

What Happens in the dark ch 1 moving in

Jewel's p.o.v

When I said that I wanted to live on my own, that was before I made it to LA. I had drastically changed my mind after.  L.A. was expensive as hell, but my master wanted me to stay nearby where he could reach me. Unfortunately, the Vampiric Council had found out that he was dating his ghoul and didn't approve of it, which I really don't understand why they care so much, but I also don't want to see him get into trouble. He is the Baron of Hollywood, after all, we just really can't he seen together romantically unless in private that's all. Until I decide that I want to become a vampire too, anyhow. That's when our romance can go public which I would but I’m not quite ready to give up food anytime soon. I also  don't want to give up on my only true loves Isaac, Romero, and Tacos so here i am at this big fancy...

Well..

...Almost fancy big apartment that I will be sharing with several other girls. My boyfriend Romero stopped at the new apartment to drop off all of my things before kissing me goodbye. The Vampiric Council seems unaware that Romero is romantically involved with Isaac as well, but if they do know then it's mighty unfair that they’re kicking me out  to the curb. Of all people, the Vampire Council thinks sex with ghouls is “taboo and unnatural”- says the creatures who drink the blood of the living to survive- but whatever. What's been said is done and all set in stone. maybe one day in the future human and monster will be able to live together in harmony but, until now it's best if I lay low for a while. The Nosferatu and Toreador loved to gossip like the old crones they were and that's another reason I decided I had to move out of the master's place for the time being.

Pulling up in my pink dream car, Romero helped me drag all my things along with the movers who arrived just in time. Rolling up to the new place, the door opened and I thought it was my best friend Suzi, but nope, a very beautiful goth woman with dark red hair answered the door cheerfully and her smile was so contagious, I couldn't help but smile too. She must be a Malkavian, no one is ever that cheerful after the embrace.

“Oh you must be Jewel! My name is Alysa, it's nice to meet you," the woman said while extending her hand out to greet me.  Smiling, I shook her hand.

''It's nice to meet you too, Alysa, Thanks for inviting me to live here I really appreciate it,"  I replied back, adjusting my purse on my shoulder. Alysa was just about to say something when a loud raspy cackle startled us both.

“Well if it isn't Barbie back from the Dream House!” the female Nosferatu mocked. Sashaying up to me she looked me up and down grimacing in disapproval at my outfit. Apparently, pink shorts and a lace top were forbidden in her eyes.

'' And lookie here ya even got a Gucci belt on and a pink hair ribbon with high heels. Wow, you must be Isaac's favorite little plaything…" she hissed rudely. Alysa quickly stood in between us

“She didn't mean that, Jewel …..Marie be nice!" She spat in an annoyed tone.

The Nosferatu rolled her eyes before giving us both the finger and walking away “Enjoy your new dream house 'bitch!’” she yelled back. I almost threw the pumpkin spiced drink in my hand right at her bald head. Alysa, sensing that the ghoul was really getting agitated, grabbed the other woman's hand and led her upstairs.

VV and Yukie were discussing plans for tonight when the two bumped into them.

''Hey Yukie, hey VV this is the new roomate I was telling you about, remember?"  she said cheerfully, and the others looked confused for a second before it finally hit them. ''Oh yeah, the witch....i mean necromancer... er... never mind. My name is Yukie it's really nice to meet you." the Japaneese woman said happily, shaking Jewel's hand.

“Finally, pleasant people!” the necromancer thought to herself before shaking hers back.

'' and my name is V.V.…”the other red headed vamp started before gasping “Oh my God, who did your nails?"  she asked quickly snatching the black woman's hand and admiring the pink and jewel decorated nail art on them,  making the young ghoul smile. ''Oh, Kiki from Ooo La La nails did it for me and it only cost me $40 bucks, you should definitely go to her," she recommended. The four girls chattered on and on until it was time for Alysa to show her upstairs to her room where Jewel and the movers unloaded all her belongings. After everything was unloaded, Alysa showed Jewel the rest of the apartment. The kitchen was an industrial wooden theme with old fashioned chairs and a classic looking fridge from the 1950s in that famous robin’s egg blue. The sink was polished copper and absolutely spotless. A breakfast nook sat in the corner, furnished with plush pillows and bare, antique style light bulbs were suspended from the ceiling giving the nook a warm glow.

“That's strange,” Jewel thought to herself, “the kitchen looks absolutely spotless, a little too spotless for a house packed with ghouls.” Upon opening the fridge, it was filled with blood packets of all blood types and organic food, junk food,energy drinks,soda and several types of snack food, and a leftover chinese take out box. Other than the blood in the fridge, it was a typical bachelorette diet.At that the new ghoul closed the fridge.

One the way to the bathroom, Alysa showed her the bathroom and the room next to it was Suzie's room, marked with a bright blue door, which was shut and the room was off limits for now.  Jewel was sad that her friend was off at work and not at home, but she will be back soon enough. It took a while, but the pair finally made it to the library. The house as well as the library was decorated with tons of plants of all types in several different pots and books of all literature types. From twilight, to classical vampire literature from old to new, books from all sorts of ages and dead languages, and most impressively,  books stolen from the tremere chantry itself.Jewel whistled in amazement and amusement. Upon looking at the couches littered with decorative pillows of all sorts from tacky, to plain,to glamorous, to macabre, to kawaii. It was obvious that all the housemates contributed to the decor was so odd that the ghoul couldn't help but laugh. Off to the side of the library, th last place they visited was the game room which looked like an arcade and chock full of nerd stuff, including a book shelf full of board games and dice of all shapes and sizes. Alysa gave Jewel the tour of her own room- it was a mix of gothic and nerdy with dark purple walls and black lace curtains and  a rather odd sized coffin in the middle of the room.

“Go on, open it”

Inside the coffin was a bright orange electric guitar. Alysa started to laugh hysterically.

“Don’t worry, we don’t sleep in coffins if we don’t want to. Honestly, they are not very comfortable.  But I adore coffin cases, even in life I thought it was funny.”

Looking around the rest of the room, there were Star Wars posters and a victorian era vanity covered in makeup and a little computer desk covered in textbooks and robot pieces and small statues of video game characters. There was also a couch with a bright red fuzzy blanket and a nest of pillows, this was probably where Alysa slept. It was refreshing for Jewel to see a fellow nerd who shared her same interests that this place was starting to feel like home.

The last place visited was Two's room. He just moved in yesterday, and tonight he was busy painting his room all black. He was so engrossed in painting, he didn't see them come in until Allysa knocked on his door and accidentally scared him. Upon realizing who it was, the younger ghoul stepped down from the stepladder to greet them.

'' Hey Two, sorry to bother you, but this is the new roomate I was telling you about yesterday, and her name's Jewel." Alysa piped up happily pushing the pink-clad necromancer ghoul towards him.

''It's nice n- n - nice to meet you. Damn it I stuttered."  The necromancer cursed and the other ghoul laughed.

“It's fine; no need to be embarrassed. Alysa here told me all about you. Now I'm not gonna lie dude, I got kind of scared because you know Craigslist always has creeps on it, but this is a nice surprise. Also, love the outfit, you look like a model."  He complimented and that made Jewel crack a smile.'

“Aw man, thank you so much that means a lot……" but before she could even finish what she was going to say, a loud bang from the kitchen startled all three of them. In high concern, all three supernaturals ran to go see what was happening in the kitchen.

Two and Alysa exchanged concerned glances when they entered the kitchen and saw Marie stuffing her face with the flaming hot Cheetos  that she knew damn well that belonged to Jewel and purposely ate them to get under the other's skin.

''You asshole! My boyfriend got that for me not you! And why are you eating human snacks anyway, aren’t you dead?"  Jewel asked and Marie snickered before stuffing the last chips down her grotesque throat. ''Sorry, I didn't see your name on the bag…. The nosferatu shut right up and she placed a clawed hand on her mouth.  Turning a horrible sickly green color that was not normal, especially for a Nosferatu. Pushing them out the way, Marie quickly ran into one of the unused guest bathrooms and slammed the door. Two grimaced while Alysa nervously bit her lip. Now Jewel would have felt bad for the other woman had she not been rude within the grand total of five minutes of knowing each other, but she considered this as karma. A horrible gag erupted from the nearby bathroom making her feel nauseous herself.

Jewel suddenly no longer wanted her pumpkin spice drink and set it on the granite counter .

''Um sorry about Marie, she’s not always like this. Let's get you settled in, shall we?" Two asked and the black woman nodded before leaving upstairs with the other ghoul as Alysa went over to check on Marie.

“Don’t worry about Marie, I’ll keep an eye on her” the Malkavian reassured the newest housemate.

That bathroom definitely was going to have to be cleaned with bleach tomorrow.

To be continued….

[formulauno98]

A Birthday to Remember - Toto Wolff x OC

My first attempt at a one-shot, based on this glorious request from @latte-luxe:

If you can, could you please write a short, but spicy🌶️🌶️🌶️ one shot of a young, crazy, yet loveable 5'2 Maestra who is celebrating her 30th birthday in Monaco, and a certain 6'5 F1 team principal laid eyes on her and knew he just had to have her. 😅😅😅🙏🙏🙏

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Caution may contain spice.

Author’s Notes: Disclaimer, purely fiction, no-one is married in this alt-universe.

THE MORNING

It was Saturday morning and stepping out onto her balcony at the Fairmont Monte Carlo, Fernanda swept her eyes over the spectacular view. It was a pinch yourself to check if you’re dreaming kind of view of sparkling blue waters, peppered every so often with a gleaming white yacht.

“Good morning, birthday girl.” murmured a husky, heavily accented voice from behind her. Before she even had the chance to turn around, a pair of muscular arms swooped around her from behind before coming to rest on her hips, gently squeezing her curves.

“Good morning to you too,” she said, turning around and leaning up to kiss the tall towel-clad Austrian, resting her hand on his bare chest as he pressed himself tightly against her. It was yet another pinch me I’m dreaming moment. If someone had told Fernanda this time yesterday that this was how she would be spending her Saturday morning she would have laughed and called them crazy, but sometimes life could be crazy.

THE NIGHT BEFORE

It was a sunny evening and Fernanda had stood out on the balcony with a glass of wine in her hand, admiring the view whilst waiting for her three best friends to get ready. As a lifelong Formula One lover, a weekend trip to Monaco had been on the cards for a while so when her friends asked where she wanted to go to celebrate her thirtieth birthday it was at the top of the list. Turning the dream into reality was another thing altogether and she still couldn’t believe that the trip had materialised. 

Dinner was due to be lowkey as Saturday was going to be the big night out, with dinner plans at Elsa, a Michelin-star establishment, followed by a night on the tiles at Jimmyz, a club frequented by the world of Formula One. Friday night’s restaurant of choice was Song Qi, an upscale Chinese restaurant in Larvotto that had come highly recommended. 

“Fernanda, how long is the walk?” A voice called out from the suite.

“About five/ten minutes.” She replied, sighing, as always the mom of the group.

“Medium heels it is then,” her friend Olivia replied.

“We can always get a car,” Fernanda suggested.

“No, let’s conserve the taxi budget for tomorrow night,” Olivia said, stepping out onto the balcony to 

accompany her friend, “Laura and Becca are almost ready.”

“Good idea,” Fernanda replied, “You look gorgeous by the way.”

Olivia beamed with the compliment, stepping back to twirl in her pink minidress and sparkling sandals, “I try my best, although I can’t compete with you, my spicy little Salma Hayek twin.”

Fernanda blushed, everyone always compared her to the diminutive Mexican actress and truth be told, it wasn’t the worst comparison in the world. She’d chosen a simple white dress with gold sandals for the evening’s dinner, perhaps a risky move in a restaurant serving noodles but she felt fabulous. Her dark hair was slicked back into an elegant bun and she’d highlighted her tanned skin with golden shimmering oil, a move that always brought the compliments.

It wasn’t long before Laura and Becca also emerged, both looking as beautiful as ever. The four friends had treated themselves to two adjoining suites and opened up the connecting door to create a mega-suite.

“Oh la la, give us a twirl,” said Fernanda, looking her elegant friend up and down as she dutifully spun around.

“Beautiful!” Now it was Laura and Becca’s turn to blush. “Ditto! Shall we get going?”

“Sounds like a plan.” Fernanda agreed, the four of them making their way off of the balcony.

——

Song Qi turned out to be an excellent choice, with the table weighed down with baskets of dim sum and bowls of noodles, crispy beef and endless wontons. The restaurant was decadent but comfortable and as Fernanda sank back into her sumptuous green velvet chair she spotted a strangely familiar face at the table across from them. He was dark-haired, handsome with chiselled features and although he was sat down, tall, as he towered above the two men he was dining with.

It took a moment to realise that it was none other than Toto Wolff, the affable Mercedes Formula One team principal. Although she thought it was only for a moment, Fernanda must have stared for a while as he briefly met her eyes and shot her a charming smile. Smiling back like a fool, her friends whipped their heads around to see who their friend was smiling at, fortunately, Toto not noticing as he had returned to his plate.

“Damn girl, he’s kinda hot, in that old businessman kind of way,” said Olivia, turning back around to face Fernanda.

“Well yes…” Fernanda stuttered, “He’s also one of the team principals in Formula One.”

“Huh?” Asked her three friends blankly, not followers of the sport.

“Kind of like the equivalent of a football manager,” Fernanda explained, “Except he owns some of the team as well.”

“Fancy, well he’s pretty. You should go and talk to him.” Said Laura, all formula one facts going straight over her head.

“Oh my god, no,” Fernanda said, “I’m sure he was just being polite.”

As if on cue, Toto looked up and locked eyes with her once again, his deep brown eyes crinkling. Fernanda gulped, returning his gaze with a smile once again.

Dinner continued, with the girls chatting away as Fernanda every so often met Toto’s eyes across the crowded restaurant. He looked to be in some kind of business meeting as the two men with him were dressed smartly and looked serious while conversing with them.

It wasn’t long before dinner had been cleared and a smiling waiter emerged with a chocolate cake laden down with a sparkler and a golden thirty-number candle, Olivia, Becca and Laura looking at each other mischievously before breaking into a rousing rendition of the Happy Birthday song. Fernanda felt her cheeks reddening as she realised the entire restaurant, including Toto and his business associates had joined in the song. As she blew out the candle, she once again locked eyes with Toto who was grinning away while applauding.

“You guys are the worst,” Fernanda said, half joking as she shook her head at her friends. “But that’s why I love you.”

“Aw, well we had to do something,” said Laura, “It’s not every day you have a big birthday like this and although I still don’t understand why you love your car racing so much, I’m happy that we came here.”

Fernanda smiled at her friends, she was appreciative of them, enabling her desire to walk around the Formula One track and visit the car museum, despite the fact they really weren’t interested. Just as she was musing how ironic it was that she’d seen Toto Wolff, their waiter reappeared with a tray of drinks.

“Oh, I don’t think we ordered those,” said Olivia politely.

“Yes Madame, in fact, the gentlemen over there sent them alongside their birthday wishes.” The waiter replied.

Fernanda’s eyes widened, Toto Wolff had sent her birthday wishes. An interesting turn of events.

“Well, then that’s very nice of them,” said Olivia, as the waiter set them down, “Fernanda, you should go and say thank you!”

“Oh my God, yes, go!” Said Becca, egging her friend on.

Sighing, but also buoyed by her friends’ enthusiasm, Fernanda spoke, “I’m going to go but only to say thank you.”

Her three friends squealing with excitement, Fernanda took an extra sip of her drink for courage before standing up and sauntering over to where Toto and his associates sat. His interest piqued immediately as he noticed her making her way across the restaurant.

“Good evening, sorry to interrupt but I just wanted to say thank you for the drinks, it was very kind of you,” Fernanda said, a little too quickly due to nerves.

“Well, it’s not every day you celebrate a milestone like that.” Replied Toto kindly, standing up to hold out a hand to shake, “I’m Toto by the way, and this is Jean and Sebastian,” he gestured at the older gentlemen he was dining with.

Struck by the almost comical height difference Fernanda looked up at the tall Austrian in front of her as he gripped her hand very tightly, “I’m Fernanda, nice to meet you all.”

The other gentlemen smiled at her politely, wishing her a happy birthday before picking their conversation back up. Toto, however, remained stood up, his eyes raking her curves. “Fernanda?” He asked, “A beautiful name for a beautiful woman.”

Now Fernanda was really blushing, “You’re far too kind.”

“Not at all,” he said, “I hope you do not think this forward but would you like to join me for dinner one evening?”

Fernanda’s eyes widened, floored that this man was asking her out. “I would love to but unfortunately I’m only here until Sunday so I’m not sure if I’ll have time.”

Toto looked disappointed but pressed further, “Well then, how about a drink later this evening?”

Fernanda’s eyes went even wider before she managed to answer, “I’m not sure, it’s a girl's trip and I don’t want to ditch my friends, I really would love to though. Maybe can I get your number and text you once I’ve figured out their plans?”

“Understood,” replied Toto, looking down, gazing into her eyes with an unreadable expression, “It would be my pleasure, give me your phone.”

Fernanda’s eyes lit up as she handed her phone to the tall Austrian in front of her who deftly punched in his contact. “Thank you, I’ll check in with the girls and let you know. I’ll leave you to your dinner for now but I hope to see you later,” she said with a smile.

Toto turned to glance at his dining companions who were still deep in conversation, and dropped closer down to Fernanda’s ear, keeping his voice low, sending a shiver down her spine, “It’s okay, I don’t think they missed me. I hope to see you later too Fernanda.”

Fernanda looked up at Toto with a smile, “I’m sure they did. See you, Toto.” As she turned back towards her table she glanced over her shoulder and saw Toto’s eyes were locked on her as he returned to his seat. He was undeniably hot and as much as she always abided by the golden rule, chicks before dicks, this was special circumstances.

Sitting back down with her friends, they immediately leaned in to get the lowdown.

“What did he say? He didn’t take his eyes off of you!” said Laura excitedly.

“Just wished me a happy birthday… and asked me out,” said Fernanda blushing.

“No way!” exclaimed her three friends in unison.

“You’re going to go right?” said Olivia, looking at her friend in concern.

“I’m not sure.” said Fernanda, “I don’t want to ditch you all for a man but equally he’s hot as fuck and it would only be for an hour or so.”

“An hour or so?” said Becca, raising her eyebrows, “I doubt this, but you should go, make it a memorable birthday!”

Fernanda looked over once again at where Toto sat, he was a striking man, pushing all of his success to one side. “What the hell, I’ll message him now. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Her friends squealed with excitement in unison.

Fernanda grabbed her phone and nervously began typing her message to Toto.

It’s all good for tonight, we’re almost done eating so I’m free whenever you are.

She could see Toto excuse himself and take out his phone, shooting her a grin from across the restaurant before looking down to type a response.

Sure enough, Fernanda’s phone buzzed.

Perfect, so are we. Shall I meet you outside in ten minutes?

Fernanda replied excitedly, still not believing she was texting Toto Wolff of all people. 

Sounds like a plan.

——

Fernanda was nervous but excited as she saw Toto and his associates pay their bill and head off, Toto shooting her a wink as he jostled his way out of the restaurant.

Settling their own bill, Fernanda and her friends were close behind and as she exited the restaurant, sure enough, she saw Toto standing outside waiting for her, leaning casually up against a column.

Bidding her friends goodbye, she made her way towards her date for the evening. “Hi,” she said somewhat awkwardly, knowing that her friends were likely watching from where they were ordering a taxi to return them to their hotel.

“Hi,” he said, glancing down at her fondly, “How was your dinner?”

“So good!” she said, “How was yours?”

“It was okay, my dining companions weren’t as lovely as you but I think my evening is improving,” he said with a rakish grin.

Fernanda smiled, “You’re a charmer, Toto. Where were you thinking of heading?”

“I know a place a few streets behind, it’s not so fancy but they have an excellent selection of wine if you like it?”

Knowing that she was already a little tipsy, Fernanda was grateful he’d suggested wine, “Sounds good to me, lead the way, Mr Wolff!”

Toto whipped his head around, “I never told you my surname.”

Feeling she’d made a huge error of judgement, Fernanda stuttered, his dark eyes intimidating her before she decided the best course of action was to fess up, “Well it took me a moment but I recognised you. Guilty as charged.”

Musing quietly, Toto’s expression softened, “So you know a little about me, tell me about yourself.”

As the pair made their way around the twisting streets towards the bar, Fernanda filled Toto in on her background, her career as a teacher and her plans for the weekend.

Soon enough they arrived at their destination, Toto, taking the lead and speaking with the Maitre D’ who promptly led them to a secluded table towards the back of the bar.

Settling down on the chair opposite Toto, Fernanda was suddenly much more nervous. 

“You look nervous,” Toto said, his eyes kind.

“Well, this is not how I thought my evening was going to pan out. The ruse is up in that I recognised you so I may as well tell you that we came to Monaco because I love Formula One.” Fernanda blushed furiously as her words tangled into one.

“Relax Fernanda, so you know about formula one?” he said, reaching across the table, taking her hand in his and tracing small circles with his thumb on the back of her hand.

“Well, probably not as much as you.” Fernanda laughed, breaking the tension and gazing into his eyes.

“You’d be surprised,” said Toto shrugging with a smirk. “I just got lucky.”

——

As the evening went on, the pair discussed everything under the sun, the wine helping Fernanda to feel less awkward and forget who she was talking to. Toto was funnier than she expected and she spent half the evening giggling at his stupid remarks. He’d regaled her with stories of his travel adventures, driving mishaps and various other anecdotes, whilst she’d filled him in with her tales of teaching and embarrassing childhood moments. They’d bonded over their love of all things with an engine and time had flown by.

“Ahem.” Their conversation was suddenly interrupted by a waiter, “Monsieur, Madame, I am sorry to say that we are closing in ten minutes. Can I take one last order?”

Knowing she was well beyond tipsy, Fernanda shook her head, looking at Toto to check if he was in agreement. Looking somewhat bleary-eyed himself he shook his head as well, “Just the bill please.”

Soon enough the cheque had been settled and Fernanda found herself once again wandering the moonlit streets of Monaco with Toto, this time her hand firmly encased in his.

“Where do you need to go?” Toto asked kindly, “I can drop you back.”

“I’m staying at the Fairmont,” Fernanda replied, not wanting the night to end.

“It’s not so far, are you happy to walk?” he asked, squeezing her hand.

“Sure, it’s just up there,” she replied gesturing at the bend in the road where the hotel was perched, “As long as you can get home okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” said Toto, a dark look in his eye. “Fernanda, when do you leave again?”

“Sunday afternoon,” she said sadly, wishing she was staying for longer.

“Well, you’ll have to come back next year for the Grand Prix,” he said, a twinkle in his eye.

“Maybe if I rob a bank!” she said with a chuckle, “One day.”

“I don’t like to boast, but I might know someone who can get you in without having to resort to organised crime,” he said, laughing with a deep rumble.

“Oh really?” Fernanda said, turning to face Toto in the inky moonlight, “Is he nice?”

“Very,” said Toto, dropping Fernanda’s hand and placing his hands on either side of her waist, swaying slightly in his merry state.

Laughing, Fernanda stretched up to look Toto in the eye, “I’ll have to meet this guy, he sounds great.”

At that their lips met, Toto bending down to plant a soft kiss on Fernanda’s lips, their height difference making it slightly a challenge but one that neither party seemed bothered by. As the kiss deepened, Toto began to run his hands down towards Fernanda’s perfectly rounded ass, squeezing gently as he found her curves.

Breaking apart for air, Fernanda glanced around, luckily there was no one in the empty street but she didn’t want to risk being caught making out in the street with a famous face and it being splashed across the tacky tabloids.

“Do you fancy a nightcap at mine?” she asked, looking up at Toto through her fluffy long lashes.

Toto’s eyes lit up, “Well, I have heard the view is nice.”

Fernanda laughed, grabbing Toto’s hand once again and leading him towards the corner entrance to her hotel. As they crossed the lobby she had a sudden panic that her friend Olivia was in their room, and as they made it into the elevator, sent a frantic text knowing her friends would still be awake, waiting for her post-date debrief.

Red alert, I’m bringing him back, please can you vacate?

Sure enough, the replies came back instantaneously.

Oh la la of course birthday girl! 

Get it girl! 

Knew it!!!!!

Smiling as Toto rested his hand on the small of her back in the elevator, Fernanda looked up at him before he once again swooped down to catch her lips with his.

The elevator dinged before things could get too heated but it didn’t stop Toto wrapping his arm tightly around Fernanda’s waist as the pair stumbled towards her room.

“Here we are,” she said, scrambling to find her keycard in her bag before popping open the door to unveil her suite. Thankfully her friends must have tidied for her as the detritus from getting ready for the evening was nowhere to be seen.

“Nice,” said Toto before bending down once again to continue kissing her, turning her around to face him as she closed the door. Pressing her against the wall with his leg, he continued to deepen the kiss, his hands starting to explore more of her body.

“As soon as I saw you I knew I had to have you,” he said, his lips resting against her ear, his deep Austrian accent rumbling.

Fernanda gulped, she never would have thought it but his voice roused something deep within. Her lips stretching up and finding the crevice of his neck, she replied in a low voice, “Then have me.”

Toto needed no invitation, scooping her up into his arms, he carried her over to the bed, throwing her down before leaning over and continuing to kiss her, his strong arms either side of her, pinning her down.

Emboldened by his eagerness, Fernanda wrapped her legs around his thick torso, pushing herself against him, not surprised to find a growing bulge. As he ground his hips into hers, he started to explore her curves with his large hands, ghosting her breasts and waist and reaching around to caress her ass once again.

Reaching up, Fernanda started to unbutton Toto’s shirt, exposing a surprisingly muscular frame. Impatient, he leaned up and divested himself of the shirt as well as the rest of his clothes, leaving him in nothing but boxers. Fernanda couldn’t help but smile at the view that greeted her as he once again lunged down to kiss her, this time, his hands making quick work of pulling her dress off, leaving her exposed in nothing but her lingerie and heels.

“You are ridiculous,” he said, his eyes hungry with desire, gazing into her eyes and gently kissing her neck.

“I could say the same about you,” replied Fernanda breathily, her back arching in pleasure as Toto kissed his way along her neck and across her collarbone.

Melting into each other’s arms, Fernanda began to grind back against his now prominent hardness, feeling herself getting more turned on by the second.

“Toto?” she asked, gasping for air, “Will you fuck me?”

Toto’s eyes lit up, “I thought you’d never ask.”

Smiling at each other, Toto reached down to unhook Fernanda’s bra, releasing her pert breasts, “Fuck, Fernanda.” he said, lifting his head to marvel at them, “Even better than I imagined.”

Fernanda blushed at his words, not used to such attention. Growing impatient she ghosted her hands down Toto’s abs, hooking her fingers into the waistband of his boxers.

“You’re an impatient little thing aren’t you?” he said, leaning back suddenly and hooking his arms underneath Fernanda’s legs, gripping her thighs and bringing her closer. “I want to taste you first.”

Gulping Fernanda leant back, allowing Toto to bring his mouth to where she needed it most. As his tongue lapped gently, he brought his hand along and began to stroke her clit, slowly but sensually.

It wasn’t long before Fernanda was writhing in pleasure, tugging Toto’s dark locks as he pumped a finger in and out, continuing to expertly lick.

“Toto, I want you in me,” she said, seeing stars as she was so close.

Pausing his ministrations, Toto was more than happy to oblige, kissing his way back up her torso as he replied, “I want to do everything with you.”

At that, Fernanda melted, the evening had turned into one that was beyond her wildest dreams. As Toto swiftly undressed them both, she gazed into his intense chocolate eyes as he began to line himself up, unsurprisingly intimidatingly big.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle,” he said, pressing a kiss to her forehead as he pushed in, slowly but surely. Gasping, Fernanda shifted as she adjusted to his size. True to his word, he took it easy and entered her tantalisingly slowly, an inch at a time.

“Fuck, Toto.” she said breathily, “You’re so big.”

Smiling, he pulled back out before pushing in once more, “Tell me if it’s too much.”

“Not at all, it feels good,” she said, feeling pleasantly stretched in places she’d never felt before.

“Good.” he said with a grin as he began to thrust in and out lazily, continuing to kiss her.

It wasn’t long before they were a tangled mess of arms and legs, both nearing completion. “Fuck, Toto, I am so close.” said Fernanda, her eyes rolling back in pleasure.

“Close isn’t good enough,” said Toto, smirking as he reached down and found her clit once again, his thumb circling gently as he continued to push in and out, speeding up.

“That feels so go…” Fernanda couldn’t even finish her sentence as Toto hit the sweet spot with expert precision. 

“Fernanda…” was all Toto managed as he thrust in and out a few more times, chasing his own high before collapsing on top of Fernanda.

“Ooff.” said Fernanda, crushed by the weight of the muscular man on top of her.

“Sorry,” he said sheepishly, flashing her a shy grin as he rolled off to lie beside her.

“Well… that was not how I expected my birthday to turn out.” said Fernanda, feeling like she was in a dream.

Toto laughed, stretching a strong arm across her stomach to pull her in for a cuddle. “There’s still a few hours of your birthday left.”

Fernanda’s eyes widened once more. This was certainly a birthday to remember.

[kvhottie]

It has been more than a decade since the last time Kageyama and Hinata talked. Yet by fate’s hand they meet again in a quiet gay bar and it is like they had never lost touch.

Rating: Teen |Pairing: KageHina |Tags: Adult Au—39 years old, Second Chances, Fluff & Humor

[Ao3]

Hinata walked past the brightly lit Chinese restaurant on the first floor and kept climbing up the narrow, dim stairwell to the third floor of this innocuous building. There, hidden away behind a dark mahogany door with simple gold letters reading ‘Honki Talk’ was a lovely gay bar he liked to frequent. The bar smelled of spiced vanilla, was lit by faint yellow lamps, and had cream and black décor—which of course was many levels more mature than the bars he used to visit when he was young. He was a regular so he knew the other regular patrons well, many of them becoming buddies of his, and he’d develop a good relationship with owner who rarely tended the bar anymore, but would make an exception for Hinata on the occasional Thursday night. And so, all he had expected from tonight was a very good mojito and fun catch-up, but when he took his usual seat at the bar and gave the room a quick onceover, his eyes landed on the rarest of surprises just two seats away from him.   “Kageyama Tobio?” he whispered at the black-haired man spacing out with a Moscow mule at hand.   The man turned his head to him and his distant eyes slowly grew warm with realization. “Hinata…Shouyou.”

  That voice, though much deeper and worn than the one he remembered, immediately lit Hinata’s face with glee. He shot up from his chair and sat in the one right besides Kageyama, body turned completely toward him.   “How—Why? Especially here?” he attempted, thinking more thoughts than he could parse and properly express.   Kageyama chuckled, face relaxed in a way Hinata had never seen before. “…Even after all these years, you haven’t change a bit. I moved back to Miyagi because I am the new volleyball coach for Sendai University.”   “You’re our new coach?” Hinata exclaimed, eyes going wide. The owner quietly brought over a mojito and Hinata sipped on it, thanking him with a nod. He turned his attention back to Kageyama and continued, “I also work at Sendai Uni. I’m the head of the sports therapy center. It’s that white building you see right before the soccer field.   “I haven’t gotten much of a chance to walk around the campus since the start of the school year has kept me busy. I’ll make sure to look for it when I get a chance.”   “Yeah, it’s a bit of a walk…but wow, they hired you as a coach?” Hinata stirred his mojito with his straw. “I’m jealous. I’m sure the kids trying to get into our college to join the volleyball team is going to triple starting next year.”   Kageyama scoffed and threw back the rest of his drink. “I highly doubt that.”   “Oh, come on.” Hinata softly kicked Kageyama’s leg and leaned forward with a beaming smile. “Mr. genius setter and captain of the Panasonic Panthers, leading them to countless years of victories. And if that wasn’t enough, you lead the national team to gold twice in the Olympics. I bet a million schools were scouting you, why did you pick Sendai?”   “I guess I wanted some place quiet.” Kageyama shrugged and nodded yes to the owner when he asked him if we wanted another mule. “And also got a bit nostalgic.”   “Saying that makes you sound like an old man,” Hinata teased.   “I am an old man. So are you.”   “39, huh…” Hinata finished his drink and signaled at the owner for another one. Once the new drink was in his hand he circled the rim with his finger and quietly asked, “So, what have you been up to all these years aside from being an amazing pro athlete? I think the last time we talked we were probably 25?”   Kageyama sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah. Around then.”   “So?” Hinata put an elbow on the bar and rested his chin on it, eyes watching Kageyama carefully. “For starters, how’s your dating life been? I know you were busy in your early 20s with all those games. But what about after?”   “I dated a few guys but none of them lasted more than a year because of loss of chemistry, or societal pressure…you know.”   “Oh.” Hinata smirked. “So you didn’t come into this bar thinking it was a normal bar? I thought I could make fun of you for it later.”   “Yes, Hinata. I’m gay and I knew this was a gay bar.”   Hinata took a long, satisfied sip. “Well, that’s good then.”   Kageyama shook his head with a tiny chuckle and drank some more of his mule before continuing. “After taking a break from dating I met a guy called Nagi and we dated for around four years…but then he took a job abroad and we decided to call it off. I’ve been single for a while now.”   “Did you love him?” Hinata asked quietly, some hesitation in his voice.   “Yes.” Kageyama glanced at Hinata and then again at his drink. “I did.”   Hinata let out a long sigh as he sat up and pensively stared at the wine bottles lining the wall behind the bar. He let the silence settle between them. The warmth of the alcohol they were drinking was gradually traveling from their cheeks and down to their fingertips. The side of Hinata’s cup no longer felt ice-cold.   Hinata ruffled his hair as if to shake himself from his thoughts but continued to look at those bottles. “I got married at one point,” he muttered.   Kageyama choked on his drink and quickly grabbed at the napkin in front of him to dry the bit he had spilled on himself. “Wait, what?”   “I’m bisexual,” Hinata explained with a smug smile. He played with the gold stud on his left ear as he spoke. “In my twenties I messed around for a while, nothing serious, and with both guys and girls. But that all stopped when I met Emi…I fell really hard. We dated for three years and were married for five.”   “You said ‘were’ married. ” Kageyama slightly craned his neck to check Hinata’s left hand. “Did you get divorced?”   “Yup.” Hinata gulped the last bit of his drink and wiped his lips with the back of his hand.   Kageyama turned his body toward Hinata and leaned in a bit closer. “What happened?”   Hinata yelled out to the owner, “Can we get two old fashions?” The owner nodded and Hinata turned to face Kageyama once more, gold eyes meeting his curious blues.   “She fell in love with another guy and became pregnant with his kid.” Hinata shook his head with a dry laugh. “I was a freaking mess. But as angry and sad as I was, I just couldn’t hate her. It’s been two years since the divorce and I can feel myself forgive her just a bit more every day.”   “That’s awful,” Kageyama commented with eyebrows furrowed.   Hinata waved his hand dismissingly. “It’s all in the past now.” The owner gave each of them their drink and Hinata raised his. “Cheers to bleak love lives and our reunion.”   Kageyama clinked his cup against Hinata’s with an honest smile. “I would have never thought I’d run into you in a place like this after all these years.”   “Me neither,” Hinata hummed, blissfully enjoying the taste of their new drink. “But I’m happy fate had other plans.”   “…Do you want to leave after this drink?” Kageyama murmured while gazing at Hinata. He wasn’t focusing on anything in particular, just simply tracing the shape of his face with his eyes.   “Are you hungry or some—oh. You mean like that.” Hinata’s eyebrow arched and his lips curled up into a mischievous grin. “Do you think it’d work with us?”   Kageyama shrugged. “Maybe, don’t really know until you try.”   “True…” Hinata raised his cup to his lips, pausing for a moment, and then determinedly downed the rest. “Okay, let’s go.” Hinata signaled at the owner and asked for their tabs to be closed.   “I thought you’d say no.” Kageyama knocked back his drink in two gulps.   After gathering their things, Hinata grabbed Kageyama’s hand and lead him to a gaudy motel a few blocks from the bar. Hinata briefly considered going to a proper hotel because they were now working adults with enough money to afford a good room, not broke and horny 20-year-olds, but considering they were acting like the latter, he figured it made no difference.   Once inside they selected the most normal room they could get, and silently made their way upstairs. They each took a turn showering and returned to the bedroom donning the black hotel robe as their choice of post-shower, pre-sexy time attire.   “Are you nervous?” Hinata asked with a grin as he approached Kageyama who was sitting at the edge of the bed.   Kageyama pushed his damp hair back out of his face. “Not really, it’s just a bit…weird.”   “I get that.” Hinata raked his fingers through Kageyama’s hair as he had just done. “It’s nice seeing your hair out of your face sometimes.”   “My hair is so straight this only works when it’s wet.” Kageyama brought his hands up to Hinata’s wet hair and brushed his fingers against the hair around his ear. “This pixie cut looks cute on you.”   “You think so?” Hinata questioned, cheeks a dusty pink.   Kageyama stood up and closed the distance between their bodies, his free arm wrapping around Hinata’s waist. He brought his hand down to Hinata’s cheek and gently caressed it. “Yeah, as annoying as you are, you’ve always been cute.”   Hinata hooped his arms around Kageyama’s neck and pulled him closer. “Even at my old age of 39?”   Kageyama’s response was to kiss Hinata—a soft and airy press of the lips that lasted for just a few moments. As they pulled away from each other Hinata’s eyes glimmered with endearment but at the same time he was laughing through his nose. Kageyama also chuckled briefly and gently pushed Hinata away by the forehead.   “At least try to stay serious till the end,” Kageyama grumbled as he walked to the left side of the bed and sat down.   Hinata walked around to the other side, climbed onto the bed, and sat facing Kageyama. “I couldn’t help it. It’s not that it wasn’t nice it’s just that…there’s no passion?”   “Like we’re just going through the motions.” Kageyama leaned back on the headboard of the bed. “It makes sense, it’s not like we could just turn on a switch and be hot and bothered over a friend we haven’t seen in years.”   “I mean, I could, especially with someone with a body as nice as yours, Kageyama. But since it’s you, it didn’t feel right doing it like this.”   Kageyama nodded. “I feel the same.”   “So…” Hinata played with the string of his robe. “If we’re not doing anything, do you want to go home? Or should we might as well sleep here?”   “We’re in bed already.” Kageyama lied down properly under the covers, turned to his side, and patted the bed closer to Hinata. “Let’s just talk until we’re sleepy or something.”   Hinata gleefully slid under as well and scooted close to Kageyama. And there, just a few inches away from each other, they reminisced about their years together in Karasuno. As they relearned the less round and less youthful versions of each other’s faces, they theorized what the rest of their teammates from that time were up to. They laughed over their adolescent stupidity, felt a pang in their hearts for those unforgettable moments of loss, and tasted that bittersweet nostalgia of those adrenaline-filled games of many years past.   “I’m so glad I went to Karasuno,” said Hinata with a soft sigh. He searched for Kageyama’s hand under the covers and intertwined their fingers once he found it. “Talking about all this made me realize that Emi was actually my second love.”   “…Because your first love was volleyball?”   Hinata chuckled. “Well, I guess it was half of my first love. But with the clarity and self-awareness I have now, without even thinking too hard about it, I’m pretty sure you were the other half of my first love, Kageyama.”   Kageyama gently squeezed Hinata’s hand and pulled it up to his lips for a kiss. “I think it was the same for me. I was too volleyball-crazy to really put a name to those feelings at the time, but I’m positive it was mutual.”   There were a few moments of content silence. Hinata buried his face in Kageyama’s chest and Kageyama brought his arm over Hinata, hand playing with the hair by his nape. They easily exchanged heart through the thin cloth of their robes and fit against each other so perfectly—as if originally designed to be one piece.   “…Do you want to try to love one more time with me?”   Kageyama kissed the top of Hinata’s forehead with a hum. “That sounds nice.”   “They say third time’s the charm, right?”

[spookyscullies]

s o f t   f l u f f : come steal away with me

rating: G

plot: Mulder and Scully take a few vacation days, coincidentally at the same time as each other. set before anyone is aware of their relationship, aka the Season of Secret Sex :) also, featuring feisty!scully. (but this is pure fluff, no smut lol)

“Wanna order in?” Mulder glanced up from the game board to catch Scully’s eyes, only to find her nose buried in cards. They lay on the floor of Mulder’s apartment across from each other, both propped up by their elbows.

“Chinese?” Scully replied, busy focusing on the splayed cards in her hand.

“Sounds good to me,” Mulder laid down a ‘Sorry’ card and switched his piece with Scully’s. “Outta the way, Scully.” Mulder smugly grinned.

“Mulder! I knew I shouldn’t have agreed to play Sorry with you when you said you were the best at this game.” Scully huffed, tossing her cards aside.

“Then why did you?” Mulder leaned over and pecked her cheek triumphantly, to which she rolled her eyes.

“I wanted to prove you wrong, obviously.” She admitted quietly with a smile. She sat up, folding her knees against her chest.

“Shocker.” Mulder scooted to her side and wrapped his arms around her, resting his head against hers.

“I bet I could beat you at Operation.” She beamed hopefully, her fingers clinging to his arms.

“Not fair, you’re a licensed doctor.” Mulder pointed out. 

“That’s the point, Mulder.” Scully raised an eyebrow at him.

“You’re awfully feisty this evening, aren’t you?” Mulder laughed, getting up to dial to their favorite take-out restaurant. 

“I play to win is all.” Scully challenged, following him over to his desk. Mulder unfolded the paper menu, and they scanned the items together. “What’re you getting?”

“Probably Kung Pao chicken,” Mulder pointed out the dish with his index finger. “Oh look, it comes with egg rolls.” Mulder shot a look at Scully.

“Oh God, I love egg rolls.” She practically moaned out.

“I know, silly.” He booped her nose with the corner of the fold-up menu. She chuckled softly, her eyes shining with amusement. The sound and sight of her was the best thing in the world, hands down. She was the best thing in the world to him.  “So, what are you getting this time?”

“I don’t know, Mulder. I may just get the lo mein and have an egg roll or two.” Scully answered disinterestedly.

“That’s Patheticville, Scully. You’re letting this health craze get in your way. Remember that stack of ribs you ate in at that restaurant Clay’s Barbecue in Delta Glen a few years ago? What happened to that Scully? I’m looking for her to order take-out with.” 

“Okay, first of all, Patheticville? You can do better than that. Second, I’m quite content with my health craze. It has non-fat tofutti rice dreamsicles.” Scully defended, unable to resist from running her fingers through her partner’s thick, dark hair. 

“At least order sesame chicken. That way if you don’t eat it all, I can still have some left over for tomorrow.” Mulder insisted, picking up the phone and dialing the number.

“Fine.” Scully plopped onto the leather couch, flipping on the TV. Mulder read out their orders into the phone as she searched through the channels absent-mindedly. 

It was about time they did something like this. She loved spending time just hanging around with Mulder without work to worry about. Would she trade their work for this? No, probably not. There were things she loved about working with Mulder, so she wouldn’t trade it away for domestic bliss. This was something she was looking forward to in the future, though. And more days like this in between cases, just having fun together. She was glad they finally took a few days to themselves to get away from the workplace, even though they didn’t actually leave town. 

“Alright, it should be here in about forty-five minutes.” Mulder pulled Scully up to her feet, drawing her in close to him.

“What are we doing now?” She giggled as he placed his hand on her waist and clasped her hand in his other.

“Dancing.” He answered, beginning to sway them back and forth.

“To the TV?” 

Mulder clicked his tongue. “So picky, Scully.” Mulder parted from her and pushed the ‘off’ button on the TV, filling the apartment with silence.

“Got any CDs?” Scully shuffled to his desk, searching through piles of magazines.

“No, unless you like Semisonic?” Mulder offered.

“You wanna dance to Semisonic?” Scully found the CD and popped the case open.

“S’all I got here. I hope you’re not suggesting that we dance to one of your classical music CDs.” Mulder shook his head.

“I’ll have you know that I listen to Chopin the most, and he’s from the Romantic era.” Scully informed, pulling the CD out and pushing it into the stereo. 

“God, I love that you know that. Skip to track three.”  

“Made to Last” began to stream through the speakers, and Mulder pulled her back to him, and they began to rock slowly, chests pressed together, hands holding tightly. They were silent as the song progressed. Scully could feel Mulder breathing; she relished in the comfort it provided her. 

I hope you last a long, long time.

I hope you last a long, long time.

The song ended before they knew it, new songs fading in and out, but they remained in their embrace. It was enough to just be close to the other. After a while, a knock from the front door echoed through the apartment, tugging them away from their entrancement with each other back to reality. 

“Food’s here.” Mulder murmured, grabbing his wallet from the coffee table.

The scent of the food filled the air, causing Scully’s stomach to growl in want. Her mouth watered as Mulder set the paper brown bag down on the coffee table and unpacked the carry-out boxes, handing two to Scully. They sat down on the couch together, cross-legged, facing each other.

“Chopsticks?” Scully swiped the utensils from the bottom of the bag and held a pair out to Mulder. He took them gingerly and opened his container.

“Wanna try my chicken?” Mulder questioned, his lips quirking up in a smile, plucking a piece with his chopsticks.

“Mm, sure.” Scully hummed. Mulder moved the chicken closer to her, pulling away when she tried to grab the chopsticks herself. “What am I, three?” She deadpanned, fighting off a grin.

“Humor me, Scully.” Mulder simpered. She considered for a few moments, then obliged. The spice spread over her tongue, the pleasant heat rippling through her mouth.

“That might be good enough to make me forget about non-fat tofutti rice dreamsicles,” Scully sidled up to Mulder, her back against his chest.

“I believe it.” Mulder agreed, placing a piece in his own mouth. They ate in satisfied silence for a few minutes.

“I wish this is how it could always be.” Mulder said after a while.

“It would be nice, not having to worry about aliens or the fate of humanity.” Scully concurred.

“Maybe we’ll get to that point one day.” Mulder kissed the top of her head and sighed.

“Maybe.” Scully whispered.

[rostamic]

Interview with the Muse

- What is your Full name? Include any maiden names, aliases, or nicknames.

Rostam Morley. The Third. Esquire.

You can shorten it if you really want, but people usually just call me by my full first name. I prefer my full name. Kerry is the only one to call me “Tammy” and she remains the only one because no one else is allowed to. When I was a kid – sometimes even now – my mom called me “Pancake” as a pet name. They said that was the first English word I spoke during breakfast one day. Not even “hello”.

- When is your birthday? Do you know where you were born and at what time?

14th of May (Ordibehesht 24, Persian calendar). Some village outside of Shiraz, Iran. Don’t know what time.

- What is your star sign? Do you know your Chinese Zodiac too?

Taurus. Explains why I’m so good at bullshitting.

- What is your earliest memory that you can remember?

Fuck if I know.

- Where was your childhood home? Was it more urban or rural?

My adoptive parents’ place was a little outside the city. I’d say it was kinda more semi-urban than suburban. No white picket fences or anything like that, just an old type of house that fit the five of us, somehow. I don’t know what type they’re called. Ranch?

(In other verses his family lived in a semi-detached row home.)

- How was your childhood in general? Did your parents treat you well? Did you have a lot of friends?

It started off weird as fuck. It wasn’t easy to get me from my country and the details are blurry at best. It might be better if I don’t know the whole story. But after I came here to my family, it got better. My parents worked hard for me and when I started talking freely they couldn’t get me to shut up. So I got a lot of friends soon enough. Between the neighborhood kids and school kids, I had no shortage of people to play with.

- How was/is school? What is your favorite and least favorite subjects? What were your grades on average?

School was school. I didn’t get perfect marks and I didn’t want to – just to pass. High school I did the worst. They were being unnecessarily hard to “prepare” us for... what exactly? I found university easier than that. That was bullshit. But, like I said, I passed.

- Did you have a best friend growing up? What was their name? Are you still in touch?

I had some best friends. There were a whole bunch in the neighborhood and I had two at school. A few of them moved away or transferred to other schools and the ones that didn’t weren’t my friends anymore as the years passed. Our interests were no longer the same. That’s fine. Shit happens.

- Were you in any cliques?

No. I talked to everybody.

- Best childhood memory you can recall?

Playing outside, throwing rocks and chasing each other with sticks. It’s not really a memory, it’s a feeling.

- Worst childhood memory you can recall?

I got trapped in an elevator once. I decided to go off exploring on a school trip. Something malfunctioned on the way up. It felt like hours I was in there but it was probably only 30 minutes at most. That wasn’t fun.

- Name an event in your childhood that has shaped you into the person you are today

I sound like a broken record and I usually don’t bring it up, but being adopted tops the list. I don’t know what my life would be like if I stayed in Iran. Thank God I wasn’t born a girl.

- What is the dumbest thing you have ever done to impress someone? Were they impressed or was it all for naught?

I’ve done a lot of dumb shit but it’s rarely to impress anyone.

- Did you ever have any sweethearts or lovers? Do you have a boy/girlfriend?

I’ve had many lovers and a handful of exclusive relationships. I’m not spoken for now. ;)

- Are you a virgin?

Ha. Not since I was 14.

- Do you ever plan on getting married in your life? Do you want kids?

I think it’ll be a long time before either of those things happens.

- Would you rather have your own kids or adopt? How many kids would you want?

Ideally both. Being adopted myself, I was very lucky to get a home that treated me well. If I had any kids at all, maybe 4 total – biologically or otherwise.

- Do you think you'd be a protective parent or a relaxed parent?

Probably a mix of them.

- How would you prefer to pass away? Surrounded by loved ones and at peace, or while doing something heroic?

If anything, I wanna die quickly.

- Generally, how healthy are you? Do you get sick or injured easily or are you fit?

I’m healthy. I don’t get sick very often. My serotonin could probably use a boost.

- Have you ever been badly injured before?

A few times. The worst was from a fight in high school. Me and some other guy were arguing over some stupid shit in retrospect. We weren’t the least bit sober and when you’ve got two angry teens rolling, shit hits the fan quick. I’m only glad fists and knives were involved and not guns.

- What is the worst injury you have ever gotten? What was it and how did it happen? Were you ever close to death?

That fight. I still have a scar on my side from it.

I’ve skirted fate once or twice. I might not be so lucky the next time.

- How many times have you been to the hospital/doctor's?

Maybe 3 times? I don’t know, I don’t count them.

- Have you ever had a concussion or brain injury? Have you ever had amnesia?

I got a mild concussion from a fist fight. I’ve also blacked out at parties once or twice. I like staying conscious so I don’t go as hard as I used to.

- What was the worst illness you ever contacted? Do you know what it was? How long were you sick?

The clap. It’s long gone now. Moral of the story: Wrap it before you tap it.

- Ever had any extended hospital stays? What for?

No.

- Have you ever had to give yourself or someone else emergency first aid? What happened?

No.

- Are you employed? Where do you work and who do you work for? What do you do?

Manta Talent Acquisitions. I’m a consultant.

- Are you happy with your current job?

It’s fine. I’ve never done anything like it so it’s been a learning experience. The pay is good and I get flexibility. There’s better jobs out there I know but so far, I’ll stick it out with this one. 

- Did you have any previous jobs? What were they and what did you do?

Lots. Did some short summer work through the years. For full time I was a restaurant host, bartender, construction worker, office aide, bookkeeper for a short stint, and now a talent consultant. 

- Most dangerous thing you have ever done?

Drug mixing + alcohol = you might die.

Shower sex is a close second.

- Do you consider yourself a more active person or a more relaxed person?

Active.

- What is your dream come true? How about your worst nightmare?

I’m not letting you use that against me.

- What is the biggest and most important goal you have set for yourself?

Be a little less temperamental.

- How persistent would you say you are? How much does it take to get you to give up on a task?

It takes forever for me to give up on anything because I don’t like to give up.

- Would you surrender yourself to your enemies or fight to the very end?

That depends on the circumstances.

- When do you usually do your shopping? What is currently on your shopping list?

Groceries I get after work or later at night when the rush is gone. I get my clothing and home things whenever I need them.

- Top three things on your wishlist?

I’ve got what I want right now.

- Currently, what is something you want but do not need?

See above.

- Do you like shopping? What is your favorite thing to shop for?

I don’t care either way. I get what I need and go.

- What is the most expensive thing you have purchased? Was it worth it?

My car. Hell yeah it was worth it.

- What would you do if you were suddenly given one billion dollars out of the blue?

What wouldn’t I do? That’s the real question.

- What would you describe your style of clothing as?

Ah... A nicer kind of casual.

- Do you have any hobbies? Name all of them if you can.

My hobbies? Just watching movies or listening to music. Socializing. Running. Whatever I find interesting at the time I guess.

- Do you like and appreciate art? What is your favorite piece of artwork?

I’ve never been a big art fan. Leonid Afremov has great stuff, though.

- Do you like music? What is your favorite style of music?

I like rock music, but I’m also a basic bitch and listen to top 40.

- Have you ever seen any musicals? What is your favorite?

No. I don’t like singing in shows. People get really angry when I say I don’t like different animated movies.

- What are your top three favorite animals? What would you say your "Patronus" or "Spirit Animal" is?

Elephants. That’s really it. 

Look. How could you not like them?

- What are your top three favorite colors?

Burgundy/maroon, grey, and... I don’t know. White? Black? Yellow? As long as I look good in it.

- What is your favorite season? Do you prefer hotter or colder weather? Do you like snow at all?

Summer. I’ll take hot weather over cold. Cold’s got its benefits, though. As for snow, it’s great to look at and play in, but I’m paying someone else to clean that up.

- What kind of flavors do you prefer: Sweet, Sour, Bitter, Spicy, Dry, or Umami (savory meat taste)?

Every taste has its place in my heart and stomach. 

- Can you cook at all?

Yeah I can cook. But for you? For a price.

- What is your favorite dish? Can you prepare it? Do you have the recipe handy?

Breaded chicken served with oven-roasted allumette-cut potatoes paired with a spiced tomato reduction sauce. I can make it, but I don’t use a recipe so it tastes a little different each time.

- What is your favorite fruit and vegetable?

I love nectarines.

- What is your favorite dessert? What is your favorite type of candy/treat?

Favorite dessert is cookie dough ice cream.

- What is the best thing you have ever had the opportunity to eat? What is the worst?

Pus-- I really love nectarines. The worst was liver. 

- Do you like to drink tea or coffee? Any favorite flavors?

I hate coffee, so I’ll always go for tea. I really like hibiscus tea but I’ll go for any kind of tea.

- Describe your sense of humor.

Situational. Bawdy. Dry.

- What is one thing you are justly proud of?

Where I am now financially. My job, where I live, the things I have. It took a long time to get here. Everything else in life is a work in progress.

- Do you have any religious beliefs? If not, have you ever been to a church service?

I don’t care what you do in your free time. I’ve only been to churches for weddings or funerals.

- What would you say is the worst thing someone has done to you? What is the meanest thing someone has ever said to you?

I had an ex-friend who almost blackmailed me into some serious crime. I’m not talking little drug runs, I mean stuff that’ll get you locked up for the rest of your life and then some. I had to get out of that before things got bad. Mean words on the other hand don’t mean anything to me. 

As for the absolute worst thing someone’s done to me, I’m not gonna talk about it.

(It’s a very sore subject for him, sorry!)

- What is the worst thing you have done to someone? What is the meanest thing you have said to anyone?

I’d never hurt a fly. Honest.

- Share the latest entry in your diary/journal.

Don’t have one. My old counselor suggested me to have one a long, long time ago but I thought it was stupid. I don’t think that as much now, but I still don’t want one.

- What is the most precious thing you own? Is it valuable at all?

A necklace with a little elephant pendant from my siblings. It has no market value but it’s priceless to me.

- Talk about someone you know. It can be someone you either like or dislike.

[proceeds to talk about himself]

[olgagarmash]

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After what feels like the longest winter in history, it’s official: Summer is here! Many of us will finally be able to safely get together again at picnics, barbecues and cookouts. And besides being able to hug everyone you love again, summer get-togethers mean one thing: Delicious food. Healthy summer side dishes, grilled main courses and fresh, fruity desserts are on the menu!

When you’re on a weight loss journey, one of the best ways to stay on track and still enjoy yourself at a summer gathering is to bring something that works with your plan and that everyone will love to share.

Start with one of these 23 summer side dishes that your friends and family will rave about: They’re not just delicious and easy to track for your Flex Meals, but many of them can also help you reach your four daily servings of non-starchy vegetables—a key factor in staying full and healthy while you progress towards your goals.

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 SmartCarb, 1 PowerFuel, 3 Extras and 2 Vegetable

This salad has it all: Sweetness from the peaches and tomatoes, bite from arugula, creaminess from feta and hearty protein from chickpeas. The homemade dressing couldn’t be simpler: Three ingredients—olive oil, honey and balsamic vinegar—bring all those components together in a perfect, peachy medley. Click here for the full recipe! >

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 Vegetable

34 teeny-weeny calories! This salad is gorgeous to look at with bright red, green and purple hues. It’s also refreshing to eat: The mint and cucumber give it a cooling effect that’s like a breeze on a summer day. It’s a snap to whip together, but double—or triple!—the recipe, because everyone’s going to be back for seconds. Click here for the full recipe! >

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 SmartCarb, ½ PowerFuel, 1 Extra and 1 Vegetable

Give your pasta salad a Mediterranean kick—and a kick of nutrition, too! This orzo salad is loaded with crunchy vegetables like cucumber, red onion and chopped bell peppers, plus herby flavor from both mint and parsley, all topped with a zingy lemon dressing. Want to give it even more flavor? Instead of cooking your orzo in water, boil the little pastas in a low-sodium chicken broth to infuse it with even more savory flavor. Click here for the full recipe! >

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 SmartCarb and 1 Extra

This side adds a filling, protein-packed ingredient your average potato salad doesn’t have—hard-boiled eggs. These help add creaminess and make the salad a belly-filler. And the dressing adds an extra protein punch without sacrificing flavor: Greek yogurt is swapped in for mayo, giving you all the creaminess you’re used to, but with nutrients that will keep you feeling fuller, longer. Click here for the full recipe! >

On Nutrisystem, Count As: ½ SmartCarb, 1 Vegetable and 1 Extra

Not Napa, California—Napa cabbage! This Chinese variety has a crisper texture and less bitterness than “regular” cabbage and it pairs perfectly in this simple-to-prepare slaw with chopped apples, shredded zucchini and fresh mint. The honey-lime dressing is sure to make it a favorite topper for tacos or a side all on its own. Click here for the full recipe! >

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 SmartCarb, 2 Extras and ½ Vegetable

Roasting peppers brings out their natural sweetness and pumps up their flavor—and when they’re jalapenos, adds a smokiness that will have everyone thinking you’re a master chef. But really, you’ll be the master of healthy, filling sides: Besides those smoky peppers, this salad comes with a double-whammy of protein, a nutrient that helps you feel full faster and stay feeling full for longer—chickpeas and quinoa, one of the highest-protein grains on the planet. Add in some avocado for filling, healthy fat and there’s one word for this salad: Satisfying. Well, also tasty. So two words. Click here for the full recipe! >

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 2 Extras and 2 Vegetables

Who says greens can’t be hearty? These thick slices of cabbage bring serious crunch and delicious, flame-grilled flavor to your side repertoire, all topped with a zippy lemon and tahini dressing. And they only taste hearty: At just 121 calories per cabbage steak, you’ve got plenty of room left in your daily plan for dessert. Click here for the full recipe! >

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 SmartCarb and 1 PowerFuel

When the weather heats up, we’ll take every opportunity we can get to enjoy the fresh, cool taste of watermelon: We love it as the star of summer side dishes and fruit salads! The creaminess of feta and the cooling flavor of mint do the impossible in this easy recipe: They make watermelon even more refreshing. If you love that bright pink summer flavor, this salad is a must-try. Click here for the full recipe! >

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 Vegetable

This salad is bringing the heat—literally! A splash of sriracha sauce in the dressing—or more, if you’re daring—gives this simple, crunchy salad serious bite. But don’t break out the fire extinguisher just yet. The dressing also includes cool Greek yogurt so your tongue is tingling, but you’re saved from racing for a jug of water. The yogurt’s protein, plus the fiber from the salad’s two types of cabbage, means this spicy number will also help you feel full fast and stay feeling that way for longer. Click here for the full recipe! >

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 Vegetable

Jarred salsa is great, but in the summer, everything’s fresh—and your salsa should be, too! This pico de gallo recipe makes it easy to savor all those seasonal flavors, and savor them as much as you want: This homemade salsa is made entirely of unlimited foods, so you can top your tacos, eat some on the side and have as much of this fresh, lime-dressed summer salad as you like—without counting or worrying about derailing your awesome progress. Click here for the full recipe! >

On Nutrisystem, Count As: ½ SmartCarb, 1 PowerFuel, 2 Extras and 1 Vegetable

Who says the grill is only for protein? Giving your summer vegetable side dishes some charcoal kisses brings out their flavor and makes “just a salad” transform into a serious side. Case in point: This grilled romaine and corn salad looks and tastes gourmet. It’s topped with a delicious, weight loss-friendly lemon and tahini dressing that you make with just five simple ingredients, then brush on to lock in flavor. Click here for the full recipe! >

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 Vegetable and 2 Extras

This recipe packs a lot of flavor into just four steps: After tossing bite-sized pieces of eggplant in cornstarch and sautéing them, they’ll get tossed with garlic and green onions before everything gets coated in a simple soy-ginger sauce. With cornstarch to thicken things up, your guests—and you—won’t believe it’s just 119 calories per generous serving. Click here for the full recipe! >

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 2 PowerFuels and 1 Extra

By swapping out full-fat mayo for light mayonnaise, this simple salad brings the calorie count way down. The addition of chopped dill pickles and dried dill turns the flavor knob way up! This egg salad is anything but boring and couldn’t be simpler to make: It’s the perfect addition to your table of healthy summer side dishes. We also love it on top of the Nutrisystem Honey Wheat Bagel for a filling kick of protein at breakfast. Click here for the full recipe! >

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 SmartCarb, 2 PowerFuels, 1 ½ Vegetables and 2 Extras

Summer means those fresh, local tomatoes are sweet, abundant and ready to be the star of your summer side dishes: Tell the lettuce to take a break while you enjoy this delicious, pomodoro-powered Heirloom Tomato Salad. Plus, it’s got the power of protein with chickpeas and edamame. Two cups of spinach pump up your plate with fiber and iron. And it’s all topped with another bright, summery favorite—citrus dressing made with orange and lemon juices. Click here for the full recipe! >

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 Vegetable and 1 Extra

Get ready for this simple, sweet summer side dish recipe to become a family favorite—and with how simple it is to make, it will be a favorite for the cooks in your family, too! This easy recipe is the perfect way to use up your tomato garden harvest. Just toss some halved grape tomatoes into a mixture of olive oil, garlic, salt, pepper and a pinch of sugar. Roast until caramelized and then top with sliced basil, and … that’s it! Do all the tossing and mixing on the baking sheet and you’ve whipped up a sweet, satisfying summer side dish all on one pan—without dirtying a single bowl. And at only 42 calories per serving, it’s a healthy side you’ll be happy to roast again and again all summer. Click here for the full recipe! >

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 SmartCarb and 1 PowerFuel

Here’s another way to make your watermelon summer even sweeter: Add berries. A cup of blackberries and the addition of feta to your bowl of sweet melon cubes solves a major watermelon problem—the melon itself isn’t filling, so you’re tempted to eat it all! But the fiber in the berries and the healthy fat in the creamy cheese will help you feel a little fuller without blowing your calorie budget: This minty salad has just 92 calories per cup. Click here for the full recipe! >

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 PowerFuel and 2 Vegetables

Get ready for this slaw to be your new favorite salad: The simple sauce of peanut butter, soy sauce and rice vinegar gives it a hearty kick with plenty of bite. The vegetables and chopped peanuts provide the most satisfying crunch you’ve ever had in a side dish. It’s perfect with pork, bodacious with a burger, makes your chicken plate chock full of flavor—you get it. In a world of slaws that disappoint, this spicy peanut number is king. (Feeling daring? Add a squirt of sriracha on top to spice things up!) Click here for the full recipe! >

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 SmartCarb and 1 Extra

Take your fruit salad to the next level: Give it a dressing! The lemon juice in the dressing for this simple salad actually makes your fruit taste brighter and sweeter. A bit of chopped mint or basil gives it a refreshing bonus kick. It’s a sweet treat that feels indulgent. However, at only 76 calories per serving, it’s one you can feel great indulging in. Click here for the full recipe! >

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 SmartCarb and 1 Vegetable

Americans throw away 80 billion pounds of food every year—that’s enough to fill the Empire State Building 1,000 times!1 It’s not skyscraper big, but one small change that can reduce your overall waste: Eating broccoli slaw. Yes, really! Broccoli slaw mixes are often made with broccoli stems, which get tossed out in favor of florets. The good news is that when you enjoy those stems in this slaw, it tastes like anything but waste: With sweet dried cranberries, tangy lime juice, extra crunch from jicama and the unmistakable flavor explosion of cilantro, this slaw is a celebration of broccoli—and a side your guests will be scooping up for seconds. Click here for the full recipe! >

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 PowerFuel

Cantaloupe, honeydew, watermelon … if summer melons aren’t on your list of go-to healthy side dishes, you need to try this easy recipe! A sweet and savory combination of summer melons, cucumber slices, fresh basil leaves, prosciutto slices and mozzarella balls are topped with a drizzle of balsamic glaze for a simple summer starter that comes together in a snap. Click here for the full recipe! >

Calories per Serving: 169

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 PowerFuel and 1 SmartCarb

Pasta salad is an iconic summer side dish. We’re giving it new life (and flavor) with seasonal veggies and creamy dressing. Featuring whole wheat pasta and creamy ricotta cheese, this easy summer salad recipe is sure to be a hit at your next barbecue. We’re serving up two summertime staples—zucchini and sweet corn—in one delicious pasta salad. Click here for the full recipe! >

Calories per Serving: 178

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 SmartCarb, ½ PowerFuel and 1 Extra

Save room on the grill and stovetop by making your sweet corn on the cob side dish in the air fryer! This recipe is worthy of a fiesta, featuring a creamy Mexican street corn sauce, cotija cheese and cilantro, it’s a flavorful, fiber-packed dish that you’ll be making all season long. Click here for the full recipe! >

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 SmartCarb and ½ Extra

Nothing says summertime like fresh, seasonal fruit in your summer side dishes. Celebrate the season and enjoy a rainbow of healthy fruits with this simple fruit salad that’s colorful and flavorful. It has an easy, two-ingredient fruit salad dressing made from lemon and honey, so you know it’s a sweet side dish that everyone will love. Click here for the full recipe! >

References: 

via Wealth Health

[lovemesomesurveys]

[created by: -ily-ylm]

We meet again, what's one of the best things you did today? Well, well, well. We meet again. ha. Anyway, it’s only 4:17 and so far I’ve just  ate ramen, watched YouTube videos, and now I’m doing some surveys, which  are all things I like to do.

Does your pet ever harass you when your eating food? She’ll sit by you and just stare. 

Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, "Oh God, Ew." I avoid looking in the mirror as much as possible for that reason. I keep it short and only when I have to. Otherwise, I avoid looking at myself. And I sometimes use reflective surfaces that don’t make the best mirror because it doesn’t give a clear reflection or I keep my light off when I can see just enough. I’ve become very self-conscious these past few years. More so than ever. 

Name a song that gets stuck in your head now and then:: Random songs get stuck in my head all the time.

Do you have a pair of those big sunglasses? Do you wear them at all? I don’t wear sunglasses.

What’s your favorite flavor or kind of cough drop? The minty ones.

Peanut butter goes best with what one: Honey, jam or chocolate? It goes really well with all 3. Do you like sour candies? What's the most sourest candy you've ever tried? No, not at all. I don’t enjoy the sour taste for one, but also it irritates my mouth.

Is there something you really want, that a friend has?

FREEZE FRAME! Your five years old again...!! - You wake up, and your hungry. What do you want for some num-num's? Probably a chicken mcnugget happy meal.

You're done eating, what toy do you go play with? Barbies.

Your mom is taking you out to go to your favorite place, where is that? Chuck-E-Cheese.

You start crying, what's the reason? What/who made you cry? Probably just from being tired.

It's your 6th birthday! What was the present that made you crazy happy? All things Barbie.

Back To Random Reality... - When two family members are fighting, what do you usually do? Nothing.

Are you good at doing your own makeup? How about others' makeup? I was never great it. I didn’t mess with it too much, I just kept it simple. I definitely wasn’t good at doing someone else’s. 

Do you usually have to or want to drink when attending a party? I felt that way when I was younger and used to drink. My friends were doing it and I wanted to keep up with them. And I was like, I’m in my early 20s this is what you do. Bad way of thinking, but it’s true. Are you a fire-bug? What's something you've lit on fire before? No, I don’t mess around with fire. I’m a scardy cat.

What do you think would happen if you drank coke and then ate Mentos? Wasn’t that myth debunked?

What’s better, mashed potatoes or sweet potatoes? I loveeee mashed potatoes and gravy. I like sweet potato fries, but I don’t eat just sweet potatoes. 

Do you like the smell of men's perfume, such as Axe or Tag? I love the smell of a lot of colognes, but definitely not Axe or Tag. Ew. 

What's your all time FAVORITE freezer food? Do you eat that a lot? I used to love stuff like Pizza Rolls, Hot Pockets, chicken nuggets, pizza, Eggos, and those microwave meals like Healthy Choice and Smart Ones. I ate that kind of stuff all the time, but not so much anymore.

Name one reason why you wouldn’t be friends with someone: If they were arrogant and cocky.

What's your all time very least favorite cereal? I don’t like Special K or “healthy” cereals like that. 

Do you like documentaries? Have you ever watched one and found it boring? Yes to both. 

Did you ever used to make cookies, cakes or pie with your grandma? Sometimes.

Have you ever went into depression just because of one REALLY HORRIBLE day? Depression doesn’t work that way.

Are you easy to get along with? Are you a people person/social butterfly? I think so. No, I’m definitely not a people person or social butterfly. 

What is the one all time most scariest movie you've ever seen in your life? Hm. I don’t know because I’m not scared of horror movies anymore like I used to be. I used to be such a scardy cat. There’s been some I rewatched and I’m like wow, I was scared of that? There are some that are creepy for sure, but I really enjoy horror movies now. And I’m not effected by any of them, like they don’t stick with me or give me nightmares.

We're you ever a fan of macaroni & cheese? Do you like kraft dinner? Yeah. More so when I was a kid, but it’s still good.

Do you and your mom have that motherly daughterly loving relationship? We do. My mom is my best friend.

Do you always like to have a drink with your food? I don’t need to have one, but I usually happen to have something.

Are you scared of online predators, molesters and rapists? Thankfully, I haven’t encountered any of those (that I know of), but I certainly wouldn’t want to. I definitely would be scared.

You have the option to visit Canada!: What place would you like to visit? Lane, where do you recommend? 

Isn't it unfortunate when you get SO sick of a song that used to LOVE? That doesn’t happen much. And if it does, then I just don’t listen to it for a bit but then I go back to it.

What's better, Vodka or Kahlua? Why? Blech.

Do you like Chinese food? What's one of your fave Chinese dishes? I like chow mien, egg rolls, pot stickers, and crab rangoon. I used to love orange chicken, but I can’t eat spicy stuff anymore. :/

Does your tummy make stupid and weird sounds sometimes? Yes, even right after I eat, which completely defeats the purpose. <<< Ugh, same. Or it’ll growl when I’m almost finished and I’m like wtf?? Or it’ll make noises at random times when I’m not eating or feel hungry. I have stomach issues. :/

Do you and your siblings have different colored eyes? My younger brother’s are a lighter brown than mine.

Did the jingle of the ice cream truck annoy you or excite you? I always got excited about it.

Do you think some things are just unbelievably expensive nowadays? Like...? Apple products for sure. I’m such a sucker, though. 

Do you drink to get drunk, or just for the flavor? When I used to drink I drank to get drunk. 

Can you pull off short hair? Do you know someone who can't? I don’t know, but I had really short hair (a “bob” cut) for a few years. 

What's one thing you DON'T have in your purse that you wish you did? I have the things I need.

What do you think of people that talk like a trucker? (Swears profusely): Ehh. It can get to be too much.

Have you ever met a fat man that smelled like a dirty cigar? Uh...

What's your favorite kind of pepper: Green, Yellow, or Red? I can’t spicy stuff anymore. 

When driving, what does the yellow light mean to YOU personally? It means to slow down.

What's the coolest thing you made in sewing class? I’ve never taken a sewing class.

Fave chip brand & flavor: Doritos, Lays, Old Dutch, Ms.Vickies or Cheetos? Doritos Cool Ranch or Nacho Cheese. I used to like the Doritos Fiery Nacho and Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, but again I can’t eat that stuff anymore.

Does your cat have a really nice coat, or really nice eyes? Why do you assume I have a cat?

Do you like to have ice in your drinks? Doesn't it dilute the drink though? No, I don’t. 

Is the smell of cigars absolutely DISGUSTING? Yes. Cigarettes and cigars make me feel really sick when around them. The smell and smoke give me a headache, make my heart race, and give me nausea. 

Do you get more bad luck, good luck, or a nice portion of both? I don’t believe in luck, but I’ve had my share of hardships and struggles.

Do you like the bands Paramore, Yellowcard and The Acadamy Is...? I DO! =] Yeah. I was really into them back in the day.

Do you like whip cream and chocolate sauce on top of your coffee sometimes? Whipped cream with like mochas and lattes. 

Do herbs, salts and spices seriously make a difference in your meal? Absolutely. Especially garlic. We add garlic to a lot of our foods in my house. It’s just so good.