#ALL MY HOMIES HATE LEGALISM

[sadkachow]

if i hear one more pro-ai take i fear i may start exploding people with my brain

[dick-queef-official]

They want to train AI? Off of me? Dick Queef Official™️?

Poop poop poop poop poop.

Pee.

I think Mickey Mouse should be made corporeal and cloned. Those clones should then be put into a blender. The juice should be sprayed over the homes of every IOF soldier to mark them in shame and for destruction by the Disneybot army. Hopefully they both destroy each other.

Anyways . . .

Poop. Poop all over everything all over all of the place.

Pee, penis, vagina, booblies.

Obligatory dick joke.

Poop.

Hope this makes your AI fucking brilliant, Tumblr!

[anotherferalrat]

Imma say it.

From what I've seen so far...

Thoma is a sweeter version of Childe

Well-connected and seems to know everyone and be everywhere, flirty/charismatic (for better or worse), I'm sure there's more but I literally just started this quest like an hour ago sooo...

[pirate-in-daps]

beware controversial uk football opinions below i don't watch football or follow football so don't come for my jugular please and thanks

i'm not a man city fan but the bare hatred people have for them is wild like

all footie teams but esp premier league teams are the same babes join us lot in league 1 if you're saying your team isn't "like that" and you'll see how "like that" they are

[ashenberry]

If you want to learn about kingdom hearts and aren’t quite jiving with the gameplay but still want to see everything then I recommend Frankenbugvod! It’s Facefullabugs’s VODs channel on YouTube and they are playing through all, and I mean all, the kh games. They’ve just made it to the mobile game now (and are recreating such through puppet show lol) which means the next game after is kh3, so there’s a lot of videos to dig into. They’re a duo and one of them is seeing the games blind and they’re both having a good time! I’ve always found it’s easier to get into things when there’s people earnestly excited about them there with you.

i shall check it out then :3c

[ew-selfish-art]

DpxDc AU: What’s an adoption paper or two between bros?

Danny is starting to realize that since Jazz left the house for university, his parents aren’t really good at well, being his parents. They’re obsessed with his alter ego to the point that they ignore his normal ego, and that uh, hurts his feelings. Like, a lot. Meal times have gotten weirder and more inconsistent, and he’s starting to wonder if they suspect what’s really going on with him.

They’ve started to say “You know you can tell us anything” these days when he sees them outside their lab (which isn’t frequent) but the normal amount of ghost hate speech hasn’t changed. If anything it’s gotten worse. Just like everything else.

Danny joined the whole-ass justice league to fill his spare time after high school and his parents are literally none the wiser. Like, he's a part time high-school senior at 17 and a full time international hero. His parents only comment on the fact that the menace Phantom is costing them a lot in airline tickets as they try and apprehend him all over the world. Hell, they caught Ellie for a second when he was in Morrocco and it got ugly fast. She's a junior member now but mostly spends her time with some doofus that has a magic traveling house.

And really, he's fine with his schedule of going to school, going ghost and making a difference, and then returning to a dramatically silent house. Really.

Then one day his new friend and co-team lead Red Robin makes a brief mention about his own childhood of neglect and Danny makes a joke, "What, no adoption papers for the homies?"

He laughs as he says it but something in his leader's eyes looks sharp, and Kon is sighing in the background something that sounds suspiciously like dear Rao you've done it now.

Next time Danny is on the Watchtower, he's brought into a meeting with Red Robin, Batman and various other JL team leaders.

"Adoption papers are very much for the homies. I've also included the option of emancipation, as you'll see in the green folder, but I am one hundred percent serious about adopting you."

"Red, you're like, 3 months younger than me." Danny deadpans.

"Adoption is for the homies and I'm emancipated. And If i'm reading Batman correctly, you're facing three outcomes right now."

"Three?"

"One: I adopt you and you become my legal dependent. Two: Batman adopts you and I become your legal brother. or Three: You emancipate yourself while allowing us to provide for you while your housing situation is sorted out."

"... Uh. Door one?" Danny is having too many feelings. Why does batman look disappointed? What is Jazz going to say? What on earth???

"Welcome to the Drake Family." Red shakes his hand up and down, the grin on his face feral and the plan towards being emancipated from the Fentons and adopted by his boss is a weird one.

But eventually, a few weeks later, he's had a pretty delicious dinner by his new adoptive grandfather-tler and is watching a movie with Tim and Kon on the couch and he's just so happy and comfortable and warm...

"Will this make Kon my dad if you two get married?" Danny laughs and it's the closest he gets to being disowned.

[dykehayleywilliams]

oh fuck you mike lee

[rzyraffek]

Guys I suffer from jojo brainrot, I know its not my usual writing , but I need to get this out of my system. NO SPOILERS they/them pronouns, sfw, Request open

Also for obvious (and legal) reasons in josuke and okayasu ones reader is like 16.

Also I didnt finish jojo part4 yet so some stuff might be eee not accurate?

More jjba dating headcanons!!

Including Kars, Santana, young Joseph, Jonathan, Josuke, Speedwagon, Okuyasu

Kars

Homie will litteraly pet them. My guy has god complex, thinks that humans are so so smol and so so tiny

Picks them up like some lil baby and probably carries them around everywhere

S/o mostly just vibes in his huge mansion while Kars plots some evil emo stuff (again)

Quick reminder that this guy was doing ah mimimimi ah mimimimimi😴 for last few centuries so s/o has to explain him a lot of stuff

Imagine him getting jumpscared bcs your phone made a noise, or him just walking up to light switch and turing lights on and off repeatedly. Mans fascinated

Also guy is a walking muscle so no matter how big or smol s/o is they going to be picked up and carried around, probably he uses only one hand too btw

Pls brush his hair he will litteraly melt

Santana

...

"Human why you carry tiny talking square everywhere? Is it magical?"

My guy will take their phone and 'accidently' take 50selfies, but not in sexy way, but in 'his face is zoomed to camera and you see only his eyes and forehead' way

His love language is quality time, understanding and gifts

Hates germans btw

Will give them random stuff, like he will litteraly bring them a microwave and be like "human explain meaning of this". But also gives them shiny rocks, jewellery, hair accessories. If s/o wants a new car, my man gonna litteraly pick up first car he sees and bring it to them

I am convinced he eats food with his bare hands. S/o has to give him tutoral how to use knife and fork, he won't like it >:(

Young Joseph

Homeboy hands are everywhere, if my guy doesn't hold their hand, he is putting his hands on s/o shoulders or waist or just kisses them

Doing make-up together. And nails. And hair. All of this while shittalking his enemies and talking about all the drama.

Tequila Joseph first dragqueen in history btw

Never go on plane with him, no matter how romantinc he promises it will be. Do not

Also makes fun of Ceasar that Joseph was the first one to find a partner not him😍

S/o and Ceasar probably meet up sometimes to just complain about how dumb Joseph sometiems is😭

Will litteraly do anything to impress them frfr

Jonathan

Not boyfriend, but Husband material

My guy will be on walk with his homie speedwagon and litteraly act like teenager girl with crush. All blushy, shy and asking for advices

Gives them handfuls of flowers, but like Jonathan's sized handful (alot)

Loves walking with s/o and holding hands ofc

My boy will blush and die if s/o does first move

Pls s/o beat dio up he sucks

The best boy husband

Josuke

Bros gonna be so protective, like fr my guy will be worried if s/o goes to shop and doesn't come back in more than 20minutes

He will blush if s/o tries to hold his hand

Mumbles a lot about hair routine and hair products, and probably likes to comb s/o hair

Okayasu probably cried when he found out that Josuke has a partner btw

The sweetest boy alive

Guy will accidentally spoil them. Also they are basicly immortal due to all crazy daimon stuff

If s/o sees stands... OMG PLS pls hug his lil man, his stand i mean. It looks very hugable

Playing video games when s/o and josuke lied to his mom that you came over to teach him some school stuff>>

Okuyasu

This dude

This guy

Will litteraly beat anyone up, for no reason anyways. He just do be like that.

He is very dumb, please be patient

Isn't romantic, he tries to act cool and tough, but he is unintentionally cute! Like he will go to s/o house in middle of day, knock on door and he like "sup babygrill I bought you some ice cream"

If you guys play any kind of competitive game he might let them win! But he never tell them that of course

Also he is very physical, but not in romantic/sexy way but in 'dub me up homie/sup give me high five' hes very bromance. he also enjoys just leaning on them, like yall just stand waiting for bus and this dude will put like half his body weight on them

Once he had a nightmare and called them at 3am

Speedwagon

Btw sorry that characters are all over place and not organised, I am sleeby

My guy will shank anyone for you babe

Talks, a lot. So if s/o is a listener type, they will get along well

Goes to Jonathan and asks for advices about relationships!

S/o steals his hat and he pretends that he's offended, but pls dont stop you look cute!

My guy is very very...unorganised... total mess of a men if it comes to life. I dont even know if he has a house btw

Cuddles on couch when he's sure that noone is around>>>

Will read them to bed if that helps s/o fall asleep

He has poor eyesight but he doesnt wear glasses. Bonk him pls

[mulletmitsuya]

Toman Groupchat

Warnings: swearing, suggestive language, might be offensive idk (lmk if it is so i should take it down if necessary) , mentions of birth, mentions of alcohol and weed, gayness

Desc: it's Mitsuya's day of birth

Chifuyu: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MITSUYA-KUN ⚠️❗💜😋😁

Baji: what's up with the emoji's

Mitsuya: thanks Chifuyu

Baji: happy getting out of the pussy day

Mitsuya: 😐

Kazutora: didn't he get circumcised?

Mitsuya: man what

Baji: ...

Baji: fuck that gotta do with what i just said

Baji: you just say shit

Kazutora: i'm talking about his birth method

Kazutora: keep up, Keisuke 😐

Chifuyu: you're so fucking stupid

Kazutora: HOW AM I STUPID

Kazutora: Mitsuya's mom was circumcised

Kazutora: it wasn't a vaginal birth

Kazutora: he was essentially removed, rather than birthed

Baji: "he was essentially removed, rather than birthed🤓👆"

Mikey: bro how do you even know that?

Chifuyu: R U TALKING ABOUT A C-SECTION????

Kazutora: IS THAT WHAT I FUCKING SAID?? NO

Kazutora: i hate talking to stupid mf's 🙄

Baji: i don't understand why people say i'm the stupidest

Draken: *most stupid

Draken: you honestly proved everyone's point

Baji: fuck off

Mitsuya: ok you guys can shut up now

Draken: happy birthday Takashi

Draken: my sworn brother

Draken: my other half

Draken: my twin dragon

Draken: love ya man

Mitsuya: thank you Draken🙂

Baji: did u have socks on

Draken: ...?

Baji: you can't say "i love ya" and "my other half" without any socks on

Baji: it implies a sense homosexuality

Baji: but if you have socks on then it's fine

Draken: i'm sick of you

Baji: bro doesn't have any socks on 💀

Mitsuya: you guys can shut up now x2

Mitsuya: also

Mitsuya: you don't all have to say happy birthday just say it when we meet up cause i feel awkward saying thank you to every single one of you

Mikey: hope you enjoyed my birthday present 💪😎

Mitsuya: yeah...

Mitsuya: the half eaten taiyaki

Mitsuya: appreciate it

Mikey: anything for the homies ❤

Mitsuya: 😒

Draken: where's Hakkai

Draken: surprised he hasn't said anything about your birthday

Mitsuya: he's planning a surprise birthday party

Baji: surprise🤨?

Mitsuya: he told me not to not text him cause he's busy with my surprise birthday party

Mitsuya: i don't think he realized that he told me

Mitsuya: i don't wanna bum him out so i'll still act surprised

Mitsuya: i appreciate it either way

Chifuyu: Takemitchy, Angry and I have been helping him plan this for weeks, and he just fucking told you😐

Mitsuya: i guess lol

Mitsuya: also said he has a surprise for me

Baji: he's gonna tongue you down, i just know it

Mitsuya: stfu

Mikey: are y'all together or not

Mitsuya: don't know what you're taking about

Draken: bro's taking his time

Mikey: Mitsuya you're 21 now

Mikey: it's been 8 years???😭

Smiley: i may not have a birthday present but i'll bring queer and weed

Smiley: since y'all follow the law or whatnot and you're legal now

Smiley: hypocrites

Draken: what's wrong with following the law?

Smiley: you think beating people half to death was fucking legal, Draken?

Draken: well... no

Draken: doesn't mean we should abuse substances, underage

Smiley: ❤H Y P O C R I T E❤

Smiley: and a lot of the people we know smoke so idk why you're all the way in my ass rn

Draken: yeah but cigarettes aren't drugs

Smiley: weed >>>>> cigarettes

Draken: the ability to breath when i'm in my thirties >>>>

Smiley: fair

Baji: wdym you'll bring a queer and weed🤨

Smiley: why would i bring a queer when Mitsuya is literally right there

Smiley: i meant beer

Smiley: pride month changing my damn autocorrect😒

Kazutora: stop saying slurs

Smiley: bro the gays reclaimed that shit

Smiley: it's a blanket term for the ABCDEFG community or whatever the fuck

Draken: i feel like you're being homophobic

Smiley: nuh uh

Smiley: dude look

Smiley: 👬 👭

Smiley: see?😁

Smiley: am i still homophobic?

Baji: he got us there

Draken: wha-

Draken: what the fuck is that supposed to prove?

*Hakkai has gone online*

Hakkai: HI TAKA-CHAN

Hakkai: could you please come over to my place for no particular reason?🤔

Hakkai: hmmmm, it kinda feels like i'm forgetting something

Hakkai: maybe like, a public holiday?

Hakkai: who knows?🤷‍♂️

Hakkai: anyway

Hakkai: let's hang out like the regular days in which we are normal 🤗

Hakkai: see you soon 😁

Mitsuya: ...

Mitsuya: yeah sure Hakkai

Mitsuya: be right over

Hakkai: ❤

*Hakkai has gone offline*

Mikey: 💀

Chifuyu: i hate him

Baji: did he even fucking try

[pinkexpertnerdghost]

An analysis on Pavia from Reverse1999 (Alternative Title: Me yapping about Pavia's backstory and making headcanons/personal interpretation based on the crumbs of lore we get 😭)

I recently thought about this. I've been grinding in this game cause it's so pretty and the voice acting is delicious. That's my own opinion though. And I want to write this down because It will consume me of I don't.

So all you Pavia stans and fans, this one is for y'all since there is only a handful of stuff about him online.😭🥹

So if any players main/use Pavia a lot and build up Bond with him we get his backstory and more voiclines. And spoiler, in Pavia's second character story, it mentions how he was literally abused/neglected from his legal guardian (bitch-ass aunt) because according to her, he looked closely resembling her mother(aunt's sis).

Also that, the aunts sister (Pavia's mum) is apparently dead??? But present Pavia states She's in "an asylum in Rome in probably her middle ages" and "he's never visited her".

So...does he believe she's still alive? Or did the aunt tell him that his mother was just 'insane' and 'unwell' that she was sent to an asylum and was the reason he was under her care? Never informing her own nephew about the passing of his mother?? Cause man.....that's kind of messed up if so. 🫠😶

I'll assume that Pavia's mom, being a single parent since the dad was 'missing', felt overwhelmed or inadequate to be a mom and left him with her sister (the aunt). Since the aunt described her sister as 'sorrowful' 'who abandoned her' and that she 'left behind her troublesome kid'.

I want to believe that Pavia's mom did love him. To some extent. She sang rhymes for him when he was probably a toddler (mentioned in one of his voice lines). She probably sang them so often to him that a grown Pavia can vaguely recall her lullabies. She probably thought that she really wasn't cut out to be a mom; he already had a 'missing' father, what can she do? Keep in mind that this is probably set in the late 70's or early 80's. And based on the societal steriotypes/stigmas, this reasoning seems plausible. And maybe thought that the best decision was to leave him in the care of her sister.

Or perhaps she was in a dangerous situation because she did apparently 'died a few years later' after "going into the city."

Was she in a tight situation? Was this perhaps linked to why Pavia's father was missing? Maybe the family was involved with a crime group or dangerous people? I find it suspect that his father was said to be missing, and that the mom died a few years later after dropping off her son with the aunt.

Going by the later assumption, could this have been a decision to protect her son? If so....it just makes Pavia's backstory and with the way his aunt treated him makes his story that much more tragic and unfair.

But back to the aunt.

The sister...now being tasked to look after a nephew who resembled her sad, irresponsible and 'selfish' sister, she confines him to a basement 24/7 to not look at him because of her personal issues/resentment towards his mother.

Pavia as a child calls out to her, fucking apologies for something he had no control over (his looks, his mom's decision), and is angry at this treatment. (Which honestly, fuck the aunt bro. Fuck Pavia's aunt bro, me and the homies hate Pavia's aunt. The kid did nothing wrong. Just because you resent his parents doesn't excuse the poor treatment you push onto the child. Your biological sister left him in your care and then later on died, the least you can do is provide for probably the only living relative you have left.)

Maybe this is linked to why Pavia has such a flamboyant and artistic style in appearance. Dyed white hair, but his natural dark roots are showing. Tinted glasses, to obscure his silver blue eyes and deep shades under his eyes. Random jewelry on his hands he doesn't really care for. The varies ink on him that make his skin a canvas. The cool ass piercings.

And while this could be a tactic to keep his identity a secret or untraceable for the authorities due to his job as an independent merc, just maybe..... he didn't want to be reminded of who he looked like whenever he looks at himself.

Maybe he didn't want to resemble his mother. It was because of his appearance that his aunt confined him to solitude. Something he had no control over, but as he got older....he gained control over how he looked and dressed. He never visits her in the asylum, she was the second person who abandoned him and the cause of his aunts hatred towards him. So....he probably has either a neutral or negative towards his mother.

In the basement, he develops a very unhealthy lifestyle; having no real concept of time, little sunlight, the sound of dripping water and pests constantly providing an uneasy atmosphere, but he develops his arcanum.

His imaginary friends, who watch over him and keep him warm. Since the humans who were supposed to do that, failed him so horribly.

His imaginary friends who bloomed from the darkest shadows of the basement due to his budding arcanum. Quiet literally.... byproducts of his own loneliness, perhaps yearning to be a part of a family, and strong arcanum.

He couldn't and wouldn't rely on any human, he had to fend for himself.

And because of this, he became an "independent mercenary" with a fatal flaw of " lacking in collaborative skills". He is good at what he does...but his employers "can't stand his work ethic of ignoring his coworkers". He comes across as having an unlikable personality and rudeness. He has a hard time getting along with other people. And honestly? Who can blame him. With the way he was raised...no wonder he doesn't like people in general.

But why should he? Why should he rely on people? His own biological family left him alone in that basement, he never developed any real friends as a child, he didn't get the chance to grow up like a normal child.

He had no one but he made it work. So why should he start to rely on people? For them to abandon him or betray him?

His former boss had planned to betray him, to kill him. So Pavia struck first, keeping only his tie clip as memorabilia.

Pavia is a lone wolf....as corny as that sounds. But he grew up alone, in a dark den. So close yet so far from human society, he made friends from the shadows that kept him company. That once lonely confinement didn't seem so lonely after a while, he grew to find comfort in his predicament.

Adapting and pushing ahead, finding a twisted sort of 'fun' 'excitment' and 'joy' in the most tragic and unfortunate circumstances; his job as a merc and the 'unsavory' nature of his job.

_______________________________________________

Pavia has become one of my favorite characters in media, despite the media he originates from having limited personal information about their playable characters.

But I think this is also a reason why he's so interesting to me. It leaves little crumbs and pieces of background that is mostly left to be assumed by the player's/reader's interpretation. It's fun to assume and make these little narratives and head cannons about them.

And the fact some parts of his story hit a wee bit close to home. Just a little though. I mean... it is unfair and so infuriating for a child to be antagonized or disliked by family just because they look more like one parent than the other.

But ye....this is just my own personal interpretation of this characters background. Mostly just me yapping and connecting the dots on silly head canons. I should write a one shot or series about this guy. He's such a goob.

[snarkylinda]

I am so unwell thinking of 18-year-old Spencer Reid. Like imagine being barely an legal adult and having to put your mom away against her will and take care of everything else while also studying and applying for a job that can pay for that and himself, all on his own.

Again, this is something no human being should ever go through alone screw William Reid, all my homies hate William Reid.

[obanaispy]

More ex hubby eren🌚🫶🏽

cast ! eren jaeger + reader

wc ! 1.6k+

tldr ! house party with your ex = house party with some sex

content ! dirty talk + alcohol + spanking + rough sex + light cunt slapping

a/n ! i took so long.. hope it was worth the wait!

“Its going to be the party of the century”

With an outfit like this? It better be. Y/n had pulled out all the works. A mauve colored spaghetti strap dress with the back cut out– the hem stopping right below her ass. Her neck was coated with a sweet Vanilla scented perfume, an arrangement of silver necklaces complimenting the fragrance. Connie had finally convinced them to leave their safe space by planning “The party to start the summer”. His words. Jean and Connie were the homies so it was hard to turn down their every invitation without feeling a bit of guilt.

Buckling her heel around her ankle, Y/n pulled out her phone to make sure her date for the night was still game. He would be an idiot if he wasnt. “Hello?” his voice rasped from the other end, sending a chill down her spine. “Hey Reiner, are we meeting at the boys?”. “No no.. i’ll pick you up”. Y/n smiled, “right answer.” Hanging up, she did one last round of perfume before going into the living room to wait. Maybe this night would be just what she needed.

At first it was, Jean was in charge of music and the vibe was absolutely right. Reiner had a hand on her waist, swaying along as she rolled her hips– ass pressing against him subtly. Y/n was 3 shots in and feeling right. Not drunk but definitely not sober. “I’m going to run to the bathroom” Reiner spoke into her ear before kissing it lightly, walking away and leaving Y/n to the wolves. “Cuff It” by Beyonce began to boom over the speakers, causing Y/n to holler, “this is my SHIT!”

“I thought that was you..”

She froze. Turning around, Y/n was met with no one other than her worst nightmare– Eren.Her hands immediately became clammy, the dance floor suddenly becoming too crowded. “Hey–” Y/n had vanished before he could even finish his sentence. Rushing into the kitchen, she found a plastered Connie with his face smushed into Sasha’s chest. “You mother fucker” Y/n seethed, yanking him back and pulling him into the pantry before slamming the door. “Woah woah… I didn’t know you liked me that way” he slurred, a drunken smirk on his lips. Y/n rolled her eyes, pinching him– “don’t flatter yourself, Gnomeo. Why the fuck is my ex husband here?”. Connie looked at her confused, frog blinking before clocking in, “oh shit….” Oh shit indeed. Eren and Y/n had a VERY messy divorce, the legal papers somehow not being enough to really call it quits. She had just now stopped responding to his booty calls… as well as stopping all of her own. She was free of him! So.. why did seeing him make her stomach fill with fluttering? She wasn’t 20 anymore, she saw him for who he was. A handsome basket case– unable to correct his own flaws.

“Y/n.. I swear hiccup I had no clue he would be here. He told me he was too busy to come” Connie stared at her , his expression letting her know he was being honest. Connie hated drama and suddenly, Y/n felt like a fool dragging him into his own pantry. “Okay… okay my bad. You know how I get when I see him” she sighed, hugging Connie tightly before opening the door. Walking out, she dragged him back to Sasha, apologizing and giving her a proper hello. After a few words of kindness, she turned to walk out before being blocked by him. “Do. Not. Run. Please.. Can we just talk” Eren asked, voice barely above a whisper, a light hold finding its way around her wrist. She could do nothing but stare at him for a minute, his eyes looked softer, his hair long enough to be pulled back into a sizable ponytail. Looking back at Connie and Sasha who were trying to pretend they weren't eavesdropping by throwing a golf ball into the same red cup. Beer pong my ass. “Fine… fine. You get 10 minutes.” She pushed past him, making her way through the crowd towards the back door. Once outside she scanned the space, spotting the greenhouse where they grew their.. happy grass. She quickly walked in that direction, Eren following close after.

“So..” she stated, arms folded as she made direct eye contact. “Soooo.. How have you been?’ Eren asked sheepishly, Y/n’s response being silence. For a moment neither of them said a word, the silence being filled with the faint of Sza’s, ‘I hate you’ blasting over the speakers. “Listen… I really do mean it when I say I regret how we fell out. You put up with a lot of my shit and.. sighs I'm way too grown to be acting the way I did.” Y/n just scoffed. Eren stared at her for a moment before continuing, “You look.. Gorgeous. See you came here with Reiner’. Y/n could tell he was trying to act unbothered. “Who I'm here with is none of your business” she smirked, biting her bottom lip. Why was she nervous? She should know better but… fuck he smelt good. Looked it too.

“Y/n…” he gruffed, an arm going around her waist to pull her closer before she could protest. “Come on, you don’t even miss me a bit? Don’t miss the way I could.. Handle you? Treat your body like a God? You know.. I still do worship you. I fucked up, I know but–” he was cut off by her lips meeting his, her hands immediately going up to bury themselves into his locks. Eren followed her movements, both of his hand wrapping around her waist, pressing his body against hers almost as if he wanted to fuse into her. Their bodies stumbled into a wall, Y/n’s dress being hiked up, her hands fumbling to unbutton his shirt. Eren’s lips traveled from her lips to her jawline– latching around the skin on the side of her neck. One of his hands found its way between her legs, palming her cunt through her damp panties. Y/n melted in his touch, legs struggling to keep her up as he slid the fabric to the side and pinched her clit in between two fingers– rolling the bud between them. His head came up from her neck to study her face– lips slightly parted to match her own. Y/n sighed out, hips jutting upwards into his touch, “please…”. Eren let out a breath, fingers pooling into her at the singular word.

He quickly found a rhythm, a curl joining each thrust in, his lips smashing against hers. Their tongues swirled around one another, Y/n sucking the tip of his tongue, teeth closing around his bottom lip with a harsh tug. Eren laughed into her mouth, his free hand going to unbuckle his pants while the other one kept busy. His fingers spread deep within her, making way for a third one while he wriggled out of his jeans. “You ready for me?” he said hurriedly, eyes dark with lust and possession. As soon as Y/n nodded, he replaced his hand with his cock– pushing past her folds as a grunt fell from his lips. “Oh fuck..” he growled, pace picking up quickly before she had time to adjust. Eren’s hand quickly went to her thigh, a firm grip bringing her leg up to wrap around him. He thrusted upwards as Y/n loosely wrapped her arms around his neck, eyes struggling to focus with the new angle.

“S-so Reiner huh?” he mumbled, head resting inside of the crook of Y/n’s neck. His thrusts were becoming deeper, balls smacking against her skin with each thrust. “Really thought pulling that shit was funny? Hm? Sorry.. I refuse to give this up” he said between clenched teeth. Before she could respond, Y/n was now flipped around and bent over– Eren’s dick slapping against her bare ass. “Want it?”. She couldnt help but roll her eyes, “yes, cmoon” she whined out. Eren chuckled before giving her a firm slap on her ass. “Youve done better than that in your sleep” he chuckled before cocking his hand back once more, allowing this one to land on her cunt. Y/n let out a yelp, thankful for the sound of the party.

“Please babe.. I miss your dick so much. You know that I feel good around you.. Please fuck what’s yours” she looked back at him as she spoke, cunt drenched at this point. Eren’s dark eyes looked down on her, strands of his hair sticking to his face— lips slightly parted. A smile slowly spread across them before he pressed his tip against her hole. Y/n sighed out in relief, hips going to push back against him— her eyes closing before opening at the feeling of him pulling away. “What did I do now?”

Eren chuckled, shaking his head, “just want you to look at me..”. Placing a firm grip on her shoulder, Eren slid himself all the way in— eyes focusing on the way Y/ns face contorted. Each thrust made it harder for her to focus, a couple of spanks from Eren reminding her of her instructions. “Yeah.. take that fucking dick..” he gritted, body twitching as he slowly started to lose rhythm. Suddenly, both of his hands went to her waist, thrusts becoming rabid as he pulled her back into each one. His rhythm was now completely gone, sloppy thrusts coming to an end as he came deep inside of her.

They both sat in silence for a minute, panting as they struggled to get dressed. Finally, Y/n cleared her throat— “I should…probably tell Reiner he can go home..”. Eren stared at her for a moment before chuckling, “he’s a grown man, he’ll live. Besides..” , he pulled her closer, “I don’t think this was enough to call it makeup sex.. Let me show you how sorry I truly am..”

[marzipanandminutiae]

I think you're passionate and intelligent, but these are more observations than opinions! I like how you care about the truth and not projections, fantaisies about the past and pretty narratives over nuanced thought

The other day I cited your expertise to loudly protest people saying the usual misconceptions about corsets, by the way. They were so full of doubt but I was full of conviction

This is high praise indeed; thank you so much. I try very hard not to fall into a trap of romanticizing the past- because, for a white woman who grew up upper middle class in the US, it is a deeply seductive trap. I could work up as good a daydream about being the daughter of a Boston Brahmin family with liberal-minded parents c. 1875, who could inherit generational wealth and publish scholarly treatises, living with my Lifelong Female Companion and an adopted foundling in a lovely ancestral home on Beacon Hill...

...except I still would have no voice in government, few legal rights, all and sundry AGAINST my openly publishing scholarly treatises, possibly a tooth-and-nail fight with other relatives to keep that house on Beacon Hill in my own name if a male cousin wanted it or something, the risk of my little foundling being taken away if anyone remotely suspected Sapphic Shenanigans and did a lawsuit about it, the need to stop wearing clothing I enjoyed in like a decade to remain Socially Acceptable, air pollution from coal smoke and gas lighting, oh and did I mention that I'd likely have died at 15 from an infected sebaceous cyst anyway?

Also. You know. I'm not the only person in the world!!! Other demographic groups exist for whom the 19th century was just as bad or worse on different axes!!! I Care About Other People!!!

So I just wear their clothing in the present day, where many things are better and some things are worse and other things are neutrally different, and try to encourage people to a nuanced understanding of that world. I'm glad I succeed.

(And screw corset myths all my homies hate corset myths)

[the-state-of-georgia-official]

well hey there, darlin! s'pose I should introduce myself, I'm the state of Georgia official tumblr page! (For legal reasons, this is a joke)

i hope to see y'all stickin' around, and if there's anythin on your mind, just ask away, darlin, alright?

lemme know if I can get y'all anything to eat or drink and I'll see ya around!!

oh yeah also I'll edit for tags as I make em, but so far I think

• #ask georgia for asks

• #georgia speaks for just regular text posts

• #it's alright‚ flor‚ honey‚ i'm just teasin for teasing Florida

• #favorite siblings for my favorite siblings (so far, Virginia/@virginia-state-official, Florida/@state-of-florida-official, Indiana/@definitely-indiana, and Illinois/@unofficial-illinois)

• #siblings say things for reblogs from other US states (and the US Navy I think)

• #reblogs from dad are things I reblog from my dad, @official-the-united-states

• #children of georgia for reblogs from my children (currently just @atlanta-unofficial and @atlanta-official as far as I know)

• #new friend? for befriending other blogs and gimmick blogs

• #but not really cuz it's just the mod ooc tag for when the mod speaks

• #friends of georgia for other blogs and gimmick blogs I'm friends with (Ireland/ @definitelytherepublicofireland, Sanrio/ @its-sanrio-official, @pigeonlikesbread, Cape Breton/ @cape-breton-island-itself, BJs/ @def-bjs-guys,

KFC/ @k-f-c-official, @i-bless-your-heart, Australia/ @true-blue-straya, Russia/ @russia-totallyofficial, @onceinalifetimexperiencebuttwice,

the actual Catholic church [/silly]/ @the-real-catholic-church, the British Antarctic Territories/ @real-britishantarcticterritories, Gmail/ @the-real-gmail, and Kroger/ @kroger-fr)

• #speaking about siblings for when other blogs or gimmick blogs mention my siblings

• #family of georgia not siblings, not dad, but a secret third thing (other family members in our family tree like @non-tyrannical-usa/my aunt and @100percent-shell-oil/my stepdad)

• #and georgia says bing sucks‚ use duckduckgo instead for the war against Bing because L Bing...and also just in general for reblogging stuff from Bing

• #and georgia says FUCK THE TRANSPHOBES for tagging things about bigots of any kind. Transphobes, homophobes, ableists, terfs, aphobes, etc. Fuck bigots, all my homies hate bigots.

• #a house divided against itself cannot stand‚ but somehow this one is managing- for tagging state feuds (I'm looking at you, @maryland-officially and @ohio-thestate /lhsilly)

• #fellow Georgian 🫵 /lhsillyy is for when I meet/find fellow Georgians...just came up with that today (8/16) tho, so sorry if you're a Georgian and I haven't tagged your previous asks or posts as such...I'll do that next time though ^^

• #georgia polls the people of tumblr for the rare occasion I decide to post a poll

• #I love you a bushel‚ and a peck‚ and a hug around the neck for reblogs from my in character twin, @washington-offical

• #unhinged posts wheel for asks to add to a wheel to spin when I'm bored for unhinged things to post on this blog

• #uwu owo so siwwayy for that time I got uwuified

...wait, now I gotta uwuify all my usual tags- *sigh* hold on...

• #ask geowgia an uwuified version of my usual ask tag

• #but n-n-nyot weawwy cuz is jus da mod x3 an uwuified version of my usual ooc tag

• #geowgia speaks OwO an uwuified version of my usual regular text post tag

• #speaking abyout sibwings ÚwÚ an uwuified version of my usual tag for when other blogs or gimmick blogs mention my siblings (other state blogs and also the US Navy I think...usually for in character stuff)

• #f-fwiens of geowgia uwu an uwuified version of my usual tag for other blogs and gimmick blogs I'm friends with

• #sibwings say fings an uwuified version of my usual tag for reblogging things from other state blogs (and the US Navy)

• #new fwend? OwO an uwuified version of my usual tag for befriending other blogs and gimmick blogs

• #famiwy of geowgia ^w^ an uwuified version of my usual family tag

• #fuck‚ it's memory loss time... for that time @anonymous-thief-of-memories deleted my memories...look, I'm sORRY FOR TURNING YOU INTO A GECKO, BRUH, OK- TT TT IT WAS AN ACCIDENT-

• #nature is healing~ for any posts related to the aftermath of the memory wipe incident

• #what in the freaky friday is going on here /sillyj for that one time an anon turned me into my six year old self...no I'm not kidding and YES I know that's not what freaky friday is about, but I couldn't think of a better analogy

Also my playlist in case it gets lost in the reblogs:

[messenger-of-stupidity]

However, Your Mother

Welcome back to another Shaw Mates Group Chat Post that totally hasn't been sitting completed in my drafts for over a month because I forgot to post it nope not at all that would be utterly ridiculous ahahaha

This is pretty short though because my brain has been filled with angst for the past several months and crack isn't really doing much for me atm.

CW: Angel is back on their crack shit but keeps getting rejected, Baabe is living for the gossip, Sweetheart is a bit more active, Sam just wants some normality but he should know better by now fr fr

Actual CW: Crack, Cursing, Shenanigans, GN Listeners, Any gendered terms are purely for the memes and should not be taken seriously in any kind of way.

<- Previous ---- Masterlist ---- Next ->

Sweetheart: My supervisor is literally dog turds

Angel: i dont know whether to be happy i wasnt first or upset that u didnt say cat litterbox droppings

Baabe: what happened invisi?

Sweetheart: Were circling back to that nickname later. Whats wrong is that theyre making me stay late

Angel: but but 2nites mate nioght

Sweetheart: I know it is thats why Im upset

Baabe: theres only one thing left to do. we cause a error in the computer system and hold their information hostage so that way invisi can sneak out. get it? sneak? cause theyre a stealth? im so funny.

Sam: I knew it was too much to hope that for once this was a normal and legal conversation, and yet I did so regardless. Good lord.

Angel: vamp daddy

Angel: welcome to another episode of davey is gonna kill me

Baabe: whatd you do?

Angel: hol up a sec i need to wait for invisi and vamp daddy to be here

Baabe: if this was discord we could @ them.

Angel: omg it would be so fun to have a mates disc call

Baabe: IT WOULD

Sam: This is the highest level of my tolerance. I don't think I could handle a group call with all of you. Especially without David to monitor.

Angel: davey do be a sexy supervisor vroom vroom

Sam: I'm never going to be able to look at David the same now. Thank you for that.

Angel: yw now where is my invisible hoe

Baabe: imma call them.

Angel: that just leaves vamp daddy and me (っ˘ڡ˘ς)

Sam: Oh dear lord.

Angel: nope just me

Sweetheart: Whatd I miss

Baabe: angel fucked up again.

Sweetheart: Oh good

Angel: cool now that everyones here

Angel: how does one get dough off high ceilings and back into the kitchen

Sam: Do I even want to know how you managed that?

Baabe: by asking you have become complicit. congrats!

Sam: Shit.

Sweetheart: Before I tell you I wanna know how tf you managed to do that

Angel: so i was making pizza rite

Baabe: its gonna be a multi text situation. neat.

Angel: and the impulsive urge to yeet that motherfucker at the ceiling with the force of a thousands suns came upon this bitch

Sam: And that should be a lesson in control, kiddos.

Angel: but i couldnt do it in the kitchen because i wasnt in the kitchen

Sweetheart: Then where tf were you

Angel: in davey and me bedroom

Baabe: omg this keeps getting better. i cant wait to tell Ash.

Angel: we have hella high ceilings so i got on the bed and threw the dough at the ceiling

Angel: now its stuck and davey is gonna come home any minute

Sweetheart: I lied I have no idea how to get pizza dough off high ceilings I just wanted to hear the story hehehehe

Angel: ((유∀유|||))

Baabe: all mates are wonderful. all werewolves are awesome (except chrissy all my homies hate chrissy) but Ash is by far the best. <3

Angel: omg i literally luv my house husband

Sweetheart: Disagree what evidence do you have

Baabe: three words invisi.

Angel: i love you

Baabe: no

Angel: rejected by my waifu im never gonna financially recover alexa play the wheels on the bus

Baabe: breakfast. in. bed.

Sweetheart: Three words for you

Angel: i love you

Sweetheart: No

Angel: rejected twice in one day by my waifus alexa play arabian nights

Sweetheart: Crumbs. In. Bed.

Sam: Why was this what I had to come in to?

Angel: sam wont reject me will u vamp daddy

Sam: Without hesitation I absolutely will.

Angel: im literally gonna kms ༼ ༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ༽

[celestialholz]

For some reason, I’m seriously wondering if Brassius is /younger/ than he looks, like…Cyrus does NOT look 27, yet there he is. And Brassius was confirmed to have had physically and mentally torturous younger years as an artist struggling for recognition. I’m not saying he’s also 27 mind you, he’s more likely in his late 30’s, /maybe/ early 40’s if we’re being generous.

This…also brings up the potential of an age gap in his and Hassel’s relationship, depending on when they met. Hassel’s likely in his 50’s (somewhere on the low end, maybe), meaning they might have anywhere from a 10 to 15 year age gap in their relationship!

I’m not saying there was any orbiting mind you, they were both fully-grown legal adults when they met, and all my homies hate orbiting—but it’s something to consider, given we don’t have canon ages for every character outside of a very small few.

Ah, my dear anonymous friend, today I must have a chat with you all on coding.

Cyrus looks like this at 27 because he's wrong. His storyline is finding a way to mend the 'incomplete human spirit', and yet in his design and actions we see his flawed viewpoint. The narrative asks you to consider that if this is what perfection looks like, why is everyone else different? Why does everyone else look their age, or younger, and yet they're somehow incorrect? It's because everyone else isn't wrong. Cyrus' cold heart is draining him of his youth and vitality - he's too serious, and so it shows upon his skin. He's a commentary, a man too driven and too angry at entirely the wrong thing. He will unleash the literal embodiment of Satan to 'save us all', which is dictator language if I've ever heard it. It's why he wears grey, white and black - at his 'core', where the white undershirt is (the colour of purity), he has good intentions, or at least believes he does; his jacket is grey because he's morally ambiguous, lying to his team with again, what he thinks are good intentions - he's saving everyone, isn't he, what's the sacrifice of some good soldiers compared to that? And it's predominantly black, because his heart, and his thoughts, are literally 'dark.' He's a walking red flag on virtually every level, which makes the fact that his name literally means 'sun' particularly funny. He thinks he's bringing light to the world, but all he's bringing is darkness.

Contrast all of that to this lovely fellow here.

Brassius is physically marked by time because of both illness and depression - he was never 'wrong' in the way Cyrus is, so his lines and frown are a measure of struggling rather than a mental issue. The transformation here is palpable - the man we see jumping from rooftops and being the King of Drama is not necessarily young accordingly, he's alive. He's living his best life later in that life because he never could before - he's been healed, physically and spiritually, by Hassel. The coding here is of a youth unfortunately missed - he was drained of it too, but in an entirely different manner. Hilarious, because as I've pointed out before, Brassius is moon-coded to Hassel's sun coding - he's reflected his light, and now shines in his own right, whereas Cynthia - whose name similarly means 'moon' - is a reflection of Cyrus, the 'good' mirror to his wild ideals.

The difference lies not only in narrative, but in coding. Cyrus is a petulant youth, shouting at the world that won't listen until he makes them; Brassius is a grandpa-esque figure of art and wisdom. He's seen shit, and therefore he's basically every child's adorable little gay uncle. He's not jumping off windmills because he's full of youth, especially when we know from his rematch that it hurts his knees - he's jumping off windmills because he can. Because he's living now, because he's a role model, because he basks in literal sunlight... which is probably why he trains Grass-types, narratively. Needs that photosynthesis. <3

Likewise, speaking of men who are living nowadays...

Here is a man who has also been through some shit - the burden of responsibility vs. the freedom of being your authentic self, who has also been healed by finding his little free-spirited, unapologetic artist husband. You'll see looking at them together like this, the only thing really distinguishing the two in wrinkles is the lines around Hassel's mouth... which is pretty easy to explain away as continuous frowning, when you've spent a good portion of your life hiding your true softness and trying to be the head of the family your heritage expects you to be.

It's a very different and beautiful take on the Sinnoh dynamic, honestly. Where Cyrus and Cynthia are at odds, both fighting for their own greater good, the sun and the moon here are in harmony - they're equals at every turn. One heals the other, and vice versa; they're both role models for young people; Brassius' art depicts them both to varying degrees; Hassel shows up at gym two; Flapple is half of them each... neither seems inadequate at all. Even the skill gap evens up, because they become very similarly levelled during the gym leader rematches.

And when you've got coding like that...

Is Hassel the older one, here? Oh, almost definitely. We don't know any canon ages in Paldea except Dendra, who explicitly tells us she's 25, and therefore, Tulip must be a very similar age as they grew up together. Everyone else is up for debate, really, aside from the kids obviously being kids. But this has all been a very long way to say, dearest anon, that I don't think this age gap's as wide as you might think. :) I think, in the spirit of equality, Brassius looks older than he is, and Hassel does too, because they've both had lives of turmoil - if I had to stick numbers on it, Brassius is early 40s, and Hassel's late 40s. But as you rightly point out my unknown pal, there's no orbiting here. This is a healthy and wonderful relationship of absolute equilibrium, as my meta masterpost on them will explain more easily than I can summarise here. Both of them are utter sweethearts with good hearts, and everything they are is built on mutual respect and appreciation. But you don't usually achieve mastery of your craft, and especially not after early disadvantages, unless you're of a certain age. These two are endgame life material, the 'happily ever after' of achieving true self-worth as well as true love. They stand as our in-game grandpas for a reason. :)