#ADHD woes

[carnationinstantbutch]

Me: Ugh I don't want to go out to get milk

The little spren that lives in my brain: if you go you can get yourself a Coca-Cola like the little German boy meme. :) And a little bag of popcorn. :) And you can have them while you watch Nimona. :)

Me summoning a mental crowbar to pop the executive function back into its socket: aauuUUUGGHHHH I HATE YOU

[justanotherfangirl-07]

Bruh non adhd people can accidentally be SO ableist

[jabean-fanfiction]

Waited a week to get in to see the doctor to get a refill/adjustment on my ADHD meds (because we’re still trying to figure out the right dosage for me), and the doctor that I got to see is not my doctor (she’s on leave) or the other doctor who is filling in for her (who is also totally awesome), but another doctor who refused to actually tell me whether or not she’d increase my dosage (or even refill my prescription in the first place). And now I’m out of meds. And I have no idea if I should call back (tomorrow because the office is now closed for the day), or if I should cross my fingers and hope the doctor decides to refill my prescription at the very least. I mean what the hell…

[kalamity-jayne]

Damn, the ADHD gods are not on my side this week. I have been forsaken by forces of executive functioning.

[sixty-silver-wishes]

hate that I can’t just work whenever I want to

[tokkiheart]

I love how I made a side blog specifically to post my fan-fics (all of which are exclusively for W: Two Worlds) but I have yet to upload any of the 4 fics that are on my AO3 because I…don’t know. Anxiety? Shyness?

I don’t know why my brain has decided that there’s a difference between uploading my fics to AO3 and uploading to tumblr, but it has.

I’m finally stepping out of my comfort zone to write fan fics and now I’m too scared to share them outside of AO3 and it’s not like they’re anything weird/anything to be particularly embarrassed about. I just write sweet fluff fics for Kang Chul and Oh Yeon Joo.

[dustykneed]

pov: you're having your comphet removed 🌈🤯😤 (doctor's orders) 🙏🏼💫🩻

this is why bones only gets to play dress-up as a treat 😔 if they'd put him in a little blue tunic in plato's stepchildren it would've been deadly

@very-bad-poetry-captain was watching the cloud minders and generously brought these skimpy little guard outfits to my attention. and then i blacked out for two hours and...

[forecast0ctopus]

Art good and nice. Makes brain go brrrr

THANKS sorry this has been in my inbox so long, i really appreciate it!!

[themightyhumanbroom]

Brain: So did you get any progress on writing last night?

Me:......Yeah

Brain: You did work on the fic you planned on working on right?

Me:.....

Brain: You worked on the smut fic didn't you?

Me:....I was struck by inspiration-

*BONK*

[genderfluiddipshit]

metal girlbriel from @acid--angel :D

[ominous-feychild]

Y'all, istg, why am I so good at accidentally making my main characters a flavor of autistic and/or ADHD?

Yeah, I know I'm AuDHD, but that's BESIDES the point--

[naranjapetrificada]

Me, encountering poorly written fics on AO3: well it is the site where anyone can just post anything

Me, revising my own work: omg, this will never be good enough to post on the site where anyone can just post anything

[hussyknee]

I'm so fucking mad.

Yesterday I took 50mg of Atomoxetine (Strattera) out of sheer frustration instead of my prescribed 30mg which was doing nothing.

And then...I was like "get up" and I would get up. "Go find the electricity bill" and went and found the electricity bill. "Sort through all the mail and organise it" and just. Fucking. Did it. No getting stuck for half an hour and spiralling in anxiety because my executive commands weren't going through.

I went to the hospital and begged those fuckers to increase my dosage and spent half an hour trying to convince them that this is clearly my ADHD symptoms being exacerbated by anxiety that's fucking me up. They refused, said "Oh, but anyone would find it difficult to function in your situation", and increased my Venlafaxine (Effexor) instead, although that fuckin plateaus any further than the dosage I already take. My primary doc knows this, but I have better luck catching Bigfoot than her at NHSL anymore so I keep having to tussle with the junior dipshits.

Granted I seem to have overshot a bit, because I spent a while vibrating into the fifth dimension. Felt like I'd had six cups of coffee and needed to do three things at once. Perhaps I should have attempted 40mg first. But 50mg very much did catapult me out of this neverending rut.

WEEKS OF BEING TRAPPED BY THE STATIC IN MY BRAIN LIKE A ROOMBA ON A RUG. I couldn't get out of bed, eat on time, shower, make my bed, do my laundry, go to bed. The simplest fucking tasks like pushing a boulder uphill with a stick. Sitting on the bed doomscrolling and tearing the soles of my feet into strips so bloody that it hurt to walk. I don't pick at my feet anymore! Didn't even realize I hadn't until the end of yesterday. This is the first time I've stopped in months. I stock up on band-aids and keep them next to my bed because I usually bleed in about three places within a day. And I pick the scabs off the still-healing wounds. All stopped by 20mg more of Strattera!!!

In other medication fuckery, I stopped the anti-inflammatory meds I was taking for my back because 1) the total cost of my meds was getting insane and 2) I haven't been in pain the last two months. I looked up whether there were side effects for long-term use of NSAIDs and found that using any of them with Venlafaxine increases the chance of gastrointestinal bleeding?? The way I've been having all this time?? Was my rheumatologist ever gonna tell me?? I'm just so used to flares, so fogged in my head and so relatively pain-free that I didn't especially note it. Turns out– the only reason I haven't been in pain is because I was taking the fucking anti-inflammatories. Imagine that! So I can either take Venlafaxine (which I cherish like a child regardless of the wrath-of-God withdrawal any time I miss a single dose) or I can take NSAIDs??

*googles anti-inflammatory meds other than NSAIDs*

Internet: "eat pineapple idk. have you tried tumeric?"

I hate my life.

[ladybugkisses]

You know what? I would infodump to Ari.

If she's cool with it.

i mean, she's cool with it... ..... ..but depending on what it's about, her mood, if she got a good night's sleep and the placement of the planets, there's a chance she'll Space Out

feel free to snap your fingers if that happens 🙄

[elleryhart]

ellery has impulsively shaved off their eyebrows at least once

[kinodraws]

i wish there was like SOME kind of solution for how much i absolutely loathe putting laundry away in any kind of organized fashion. ive tried chest of drawers & folding. ive tried ikea closet cubbies & folding. ive tried hanging shoe racks & folding. ive tried clothes hangers! ive tried more tactile-friendly clothes hangers! ive tried just shoving it all into a pile in a corner of my room (makes me depressed) and nothing makes this task less of a sensory/executive dysfunction nightmare for me.

not to randomly dump on a bunch of people who only follow me for my tattoos/art but my GOD i hate this task to the point where id rather have my teeth extracted by mule kick than try to fucking put laundry away

it is just such a sisyphean task and it makes me feel hopeless & like i wanna cry.