#A girl has needs

[oneicedteaplease]

🥰🥰Henry Tomasino🥰🥰

Weirdly enough this is the first drawing I made him fully clothed.

[holdmecloseandfast]

Me, gazing forlornly out the window: When will my husband (Hozier) return from war (go back on tour)?

[frossssbaby]

Ready to be fucking railed 🫠

[shobolanya]

(a bit older) Frau Schneider inspired by Dita von Teese drawing, for my emotional needs (by that i mean seeing frau in lingerie) and because she is a queen

did this idea appear in my head after reading this brilliant, amzing, gorgeous fanfic by @frauschneiderssillyrabbit? yes.

i highly recommend reading it if you haven't already.

[xhanisai]

why miraculous should have been aimed for teens and older:

so that we get to see gabriel agreste brutally die on our screens with all the pain and suffering he deserves

[girlmusketeer]

Is it normal to wanna hear the whimpers and cries of a puppygirl as you thrust and ram into them with enough force and pent up aggression, they'll feel the effects of your playtime for the next couple days? Caaauuuse yeah......

[courtforshort15]

Apartment maintenance just came by to take a look at something on my patio

When you walk to my patio, you walk by my bedroom

Why is this a big deal?

BECAUSE I HAVE TWO, NOT JUST ONE, TWO VIBRATORS CHARGING ON MY BEDSIDE TABLE IN FULL VIEW

KILL ME NOW

LET ZEUS STRIKE ME DOWN WITH A THOUSAND LIGHTENING BOLTS UNTIL I AM NOTHING BUT A PATHETIC PILE OF ASH

---

[underthenightskydreamsneverdie]

I should be working on Sharing is Caring chapter 2 (those smut scenes won’t write themselves), but instead I’m asking Sebastian AI to fuck me hard against a wall in the middle of an empty corridor 

[the-dragon-girl-27]

It is the middle of a Sunday afternoon. You have nothing on, and aren't expecting visitors, deliveries or post.

Unexpectedly, there is a knock at the door.

you are greeted by...... her

[ch3rry-lips]

rip my mutuals sorry for the fic rb spree

[mamaclownhunter]

Ok I lied I have art that was too fun not to share

Listen- I need combative “I hate you bro but I would also die for you” platonic cumplane

I need Shang Quinghua calling Shen Quingqui a hussy and a harlot

I need Shen Quingqui to respond with a full bodied cathartic “bitch” I need them to be venting out frustrations every 2 seconds and ruthlessly gossiping the next. I need them to immediately turn on anyone that talks shit on the other.

Pls for my health.

[ssalballoon]

Atlas

Can rest his weary bones

The weight of the world

All falls away

- after the initial fright of a wizard losing one's magic, i imagine it could feel like respite similar to how flying to a new country and being unknown and a complete blank slate is... among the sussur blossoms he is just gale dekarios

- lyrics from good riddance by Darren Korb (play hades/supergiant games and change your life forever)

- his embroidery has roses in it, apparently it's a term of endearment in waterdeep :') cute

[who-always-pays-their-taxes]

i just think that Duke Thomas should like oink at Dick Grayson. I think that when Dick tries to come in Duke’s room and have like a weird sibling heart-to-heart, Duke’s like “u got a warrant, pig???” and Dicks like 👁️👄👁️. Duke passive-aggressively hands Dick a doughnut. And Dick doesn’t rrly get shit for being a cop/having been a cop bc most ppl assume he’s a stripper, so this is new to him.

[thatssoelementary]

Some days I wish I was into casual sex cause like gahhhhh damnnnnnn 🥵🥵

[freakrenaissance]

Read part one first! This the such a lovely lil drabble duo! My big, broad Spaniard 🤤 & I love the underlying sweetness he has in this!

another one SO THIRSTY for size kink #2

Part I here 

Words: 1290 ~ Warnings: P in V sex, unprotected sex, oral sex, FEELINGS

Pairing: Pero x fem! reader

***********

The Spaniard looks at you as if he cannot quite believe the words that passed your lips. “You mean this, gatita?”

You nod, breathlessly.

“After dark,” he murmurs, and he is impossibly close. His scent, polished leather, lemon oil, and the musky smell of clean sweat, surrounds you. “I will come to you, si? By the tree of sorrow.”

The weeping willow. Pero likely didn’t know the English. You nod. “By the tree. When the moon is up.”

He strokes his thumb along your lower lip. The rough caress of his callused skin sets your nerves alight. You poke your tongue out, a little tasting his skin, salty, warm.

He bites back a curse. “Until then.”

And then he’s gone in a few heavy footsteps, just the memory of his touch remaining. You smooth your index finger over your lip, and wonder how he will feel inside you.

******

The moon hangs heavy and fat in the sky, a near perfect circle, when you slip out of the straw bed you share with Cara.

“Oi,” she whispers, her eyes still closed. “Where you going?”

“Chamber pot.”

“No you ain’t. Going for a poke are you?”

You scoff, although you love her. “Don’t tell on me.”

“Go get him,” Cara mutters and turns over, pulling your side of the thick blanket more fully on to her own body.

You kiss her forehead and open the door very carefully. For once, God - or the Devil, considering your destination - is on your side and it doesn’t creak. 

Pero is silhouetted in the moonlight; his expression hidden by the draping branches of the willow tree. Its leaves sway gently in the night breeze, framing him, like a hero in a myth.

But you know better than to believe in bedtime stories. The man kissed by moonlight is no more than flesh and blood, and no less than you want.

You reach him and he holds out his hand. His palm is so large as he folds his fingers around your own.

“Bonita,” he whispers.

“What is that?”

“Pretty.”

You feel heat creep up your face. You’ve been called a lot of things; not usually pretty. You tug his hand. “Come on.”

“Impatient?” he teases. “I like this.”

You grin back at him.

Like children you scamper down to the copse, led by the glow of the moon, gazing down upon you like a blessing or a complicit friend.

Without warning, Pero scoops you up and carries you, and you squeal, slapping your hand over your mouth so you won’t be heard. 

“Never been carried like a lady,” you whisper into his neck. His thick stubble tickles your lips and it’s wonderful.

“Then it is past time for this, no?”

That he can look past your dry hair and chapped hands and plain figure and see a lady, warms your heart.

He lays you down in the circle of trees and you tense at the feeling of - a pile of blankets?

“Pretty sure most soldiers don’t supply this treatment,” you smile.

“Perhaps I want to be invited back, gatita.”

“By me?”

“Who else?”

He braces himself over you, and he is so big; so wonderfully broad. You lift your hands and smooth them over his wide shoulders. He feels warm and firm under the tunic and your tummy flips; your lower body pulling with desire; every nerve winding up tight.

You expect him to begin, then, but instead, he kisses you.

Just the brush of his lips over your own to begin with, teasing, light, and then as you tug at his hair and pull him closer, he uses his tongue and teeth, and you open for him. He licks into your mouth, and each stroke of his tongue in that parody of the most intimate act makes you wetter.

“You have done this before, no, bonita?” Pero asks against your lips.

You nod.

“Very well,” he says, moving to kiss your neck, and you are relieved beyond words that he wasn’t expecting an untouched maiden. That isn’t the kind of life you live, you are hardly a gentle noblewoman in a high tower. 

You clutch at him as he makes his way down your body, uncovering you one slow inch at a time. Fireflies dance in the long grass between the trees. Your toes curl as he latches on to a nipple, and you clench one hand in his soft, worn dark tunic.

“Little kitten,” he murmurs against your damp flesh. “So perfectly formed.”

You thrill to his touch as he continues to undress you slowly by the light of the moon. You touch him your fair share, too, his hair, his shoulders, feeling under his tunic to trace the fierce scars on his back.

When he finally, finally spreads your legs and slides between them, his mouth biting gently at your inner thigh, you could scream from the need for him.

“This is what you want, no?”

“Yes,” you breathe.

His large hands settle on your hips and he begins to feast on you like a man starved.

When you come, you buck into his mouth and you bite your own hand to keep from crying out.

When you float back into your own body, he is braced over you, rubbing the blunt head of his heavy cock through your wetness, and your muscles clench; the want spirals all over again.

“Pero.”

“I’m here, cielo.”

You don’t ask what the new word is. You want him too much for that. You wrap your legs around his broad, firm hips, and dig your feet into his ass. He feels big, and you wonder if you can take him.

He pushes gently into you, letting his forehead drop against yours. The scar over his left eye is bathed in moonlight, curved in sharp relief against his golden skin, and you lift a hand and stroke it gently.

“Beautiful,” you murmur.

“That is my line, is it not?”

“Men can be beautiful.”

He pushes in a little further. The stretch is bittersweet - velvet fire.

“Good?”

“Very good.”

You clench your muscles and he breathes raggedly.

You’ve never had this much power over a man before. You do it again.

“Wretch,” he rasps, but it’s teasing; loving. He moves, then, just a little, and licks of pleasure flit up your nerve endings.

“Again.”

And he complies, over and over, and you clutch him to you as he makes love to you under the watchful kiss of moonlight.

After, you sprawl across him. His torso is littered with scars and so firm and broad that you can use him as a bed.

“Sleep, gatita,” he whispers into your hair. And so you do.

*******

The Spaniard stays.

He stays to make love to you by moonlight - sometimes in the copse, sometimes in a secluded corner of the barracks storeroom, when all others are out on a hunt. One memorable time in the kitchen before dawn, when he drizzled honey over you and oh, so slowly, licked it off.

He stays and ends up semi-adopting the kittens from the barn cat. They trail around after him. His fellow soldier, William, the Irishman, mocks him mercilessly. Pero can often be seen carrying the runt of the litter around in a little pocket you fashion for him, attached to his leathers. 

Anyone who questions this receives a death glare in return.

He stays to train new soldiers.

But most of all, he stays because he has won your heart, and because you hold his in your hands.

********

Pedro Pals, assemble! @starlightmornings @skvatnavle @knittingqueen13 @djarinsbeskar @nelba @agirllovespancakes @absurdthirst @usernamesarebitches @casualpalacebagelrascal @greeneyedblondie44 @leonieb @f0rever15elf @autumnleaves1991-blog @littlemissthistle @demigod-dragonrider-schoolidol @pascalsky @buttercup--bee @astroboots @mourningbirds1 @songsformonkeys @tardisfangurl @the-ginger-hedge-witch @disgruntledspacedad @pedro4ever @roxypeanut @mrsparknuts @mrschiltoncat   @pedro-pastel @lunarthoughts @officerbrowneyes @missredherring @myoxisbroken @read-and-rec  @dornish-queen @abuttoncalledsmalls @wantingpedropascal @miuola @wheresarizona @ourmotherofyearning @danniburgh @jaime1110 @jaime1110 @insomniamamma @the-feckless-wonder @sarahjkl82-blog @alienprincesspoop @thirstworldproblemss @buckstaposition @lackofhonor @graveyardnails @keeper0fthestars @lilangeldevil006 @kindablackenedsuperhero @heatherbel @thegreenkid @mstgsmy @jasterslegacy @thestrawberry-thief @engineeredfiction @ladylothlorien @poenariuniverse @idreamofboobear @yoditorian @mouthymandalorian 

and people who interacted with pt 1:  @wildchild1964 @djarinsidebitch @quacksity @its-forevermore @itstheanxietyforme @sirarthurconanchristie @savingreading @someplace-darker @chasingdreamer @javierian @ellenmunn @theamuz @meshlamando  androgynousclambonklawyer  ew-erin  dragcn-queen  bonnieonhisside @chook007 @oh-kittykat @goldenholland  mudhorn-djarin19  hyacinthsatdawn  fulltimefangirl111  killerduckzilla  jennajackflash  querido-pascal  stardust-danvers @codenamewife @kesskirata  raindancejodi  captainreyloswan  iampearlteacup @bonktime 

[sunderwight]

Thinking about a crack SV AU where Shen Yuan transmigrates into a horse.

Luckily he is not a normal horse, no! He is a spiritual stallion, a character that was mainly a joke about the novel's genre in PIDW, originally bred on Cang Qiong's beast tamer peak but not actually encountered until Luo Binghe's "raze cultivation society to the ground" phase. At which point there was a subplot about him finding the stallion and letting it loose to run free, as like, an allegorical reference. Occasionally Binghe would find other horses across the years that were obviously descended from that one, as more jokes, until Airplane forgot about the reference and never brought it up again.

Shen Yuan, of course, was always Big Mad that Binghe never got to actually ride this super magical mystical horse, and never got the horsegirl arc he deserved! Where is the man's companion animal? How can someone with nine billion wives and even more nameless underlings be fated for a life of perpetual loneliness??

Naturally, the first thing Shen Yuan does upon figuring out that he's this magic horse is break out of the beast peak and make for Qing Jing. He's not necessarily planning to go bond with the protagonist or anything, but he's not particularly keen to live out his fate as some feral horse that fucks other horses either, and he's extremely valuable so it's unlikely anyone will kill him even if they catch him again. So, might as well take the opportunity to clap eyes on his favorite character before he's doomed to a life of eating hay and whatever, right?

Horse SY manages to arrive on Qing Jing Peak right before the start of the skinner mission, though, just as Ming Fan is telling Luo Binghe that there aren't enough horses. Ning Yingying points out SY and is all oh look, one of the stable hands must have realized the error and brought another, and everyone else is kind of like "uh that is... not a normal horse...?" but then Shen Qingqiu gets impatient and snaps at them to get a move on, and fear of their mercurial shizun overrides everything else to the point where Binghe just clambers desperately onto this mystical saddle-free horse.

Airplane borrowed kelpies for his demon beasts at some point and they are pretty common, so it occurs to Luo Binghe only after he's climbed onto the strange and definitely not normal Horse SY that he might be on the verge of getting carried off and drowned. But SY just kind of rolls with it, and falls into line with the other horses.

Hey, it's an excuse to leave the sect! And practice doing horse stuff! And also, he's not going to buck Luo Binghe off of his back!

Of course as it happens, the specific kind of magical horse that Shen Yuan is comes with a specially bred-for trait where they only bond to one rider. They're usually bred for like, kings and emperors and other highly important figures as status symbols, like magical companion animals but ones with perfectly mundane utilities. He's also got Shadowfax-like stamina and speed, meaning that Airplane can treat this kind of horse as interchangeable with a motorbike, and of course the capacity to cultivate. Which means that when the party finally arrives at their destination, everyone suddenly realizes that Luo Binghe has unwittingly bonded with a horse that's worth a fortune and won't ever let anyone else ride it now.

Shen Qingqiu flips his shit, Shen Yuan bites Shen Qingqiu, Luo Binghe hyperventilates, Ning Yingying gets kidnapped, and the situation basically resolves with Shen Yuan kicking the shit out of the skinner demon in defense of his new BFF the baby protagonist.

Well if he's going to end up letting anyone ride him for the rest of his life, Luo Binghe would be his first choice.

Anyway they get back and Shen Qingqiu is still spitting mad and offers Luo Binghe's head on a platter to the lord of the beast peak, but Beast Peak's people are actually kind of pleased. Like sure it's a little inconvenient, because Luo Binghe is a Qing Jing disciple and not one of theirs, but they were honestly beginning to worry that this stallion wouldn't bond with anyone! It's really hard to manage them when they don't! And SY in particular comes from a long and illustrious lineage that has nearly died out a few times, so they were never planning to sell him off even for a high price anyway. With a rider chosen, the odds of them getting him to cooperate for breeding purposes are a lot higher, plus it will be much easier to take care of him now! Though they will be taking Shen Qingqiu up on his offer of Luo Binghe's time, since "punishment" for this transgression will involve splitting his time between the peaks in order to help take care of SY (all the beast peak disciples are super relieved, apparently before Shen Yuan transmigrated, the horsey original goods was extremely prone to biting and kicking...)

Shen Qingqiu basically tells Luo Binghe not to bother coming back, which fills Binghe with despair, but he gets over it eventually. The beast peak is nice! They give him a cultivation manual as well, in order to help him understand what they do, and it seems that Binghe can understand it a lot better than his QJP one. The peak lord gives him permission to use the dorms as well, since there will probably be times when he has to stay overnight, and no one says much about it when Binghe basically moves in full time. On the books he's still a Qing Jing disciple, but functionally he's a transfer student now. He even sits in on classes and lectures, and a lot of the peak are just under the impression that he was transferred over to their peak in full.

Shen Yuan considers this a big improvement, and expects Luo Binghe to enjoy running around with all the pretty girls on the peak. But Binghe mostly seems to spend his time with him, in fact, asking questions upon questions not only about Shen Yuan's breed, but about his specific background and lineage. The beast peak is overall pretty nice, although sadly it's not full of cool monsters and companion animals as Shen Yuan would have hoped. Mostly the peak specializes in the cultivation world's equivalent of livestock and work animals, training beasts like spirit eagles and horses like himself, and raising animals prized for their meat, organs, bones, or other parts for medicinal, alchemical, or culinary ingredients, or sometimes components for weapons or other spiritual tools. They work the most closely with Qian Cao, Wan Jian, and An Ding.

Being a horse is honestly kind of boring for Shen Yuan, although running is fun, and he at least gets plenty of time to work on his cultivation.

By the time Sha Hualing's invasion happens, he's gotten pretty comfortable in his new state of affairs. Binghe has even figured out that he likes being read to, and has started reading aloud to him from various texts in the evenings! So far no good novels, or even bad trashy novels, but it's better than nothing!

Binghe also takes him for a lot of rides around the peaks (not Qing Jing) which is how they end up caught on Qiong Ding when the rainbow bridge goes down. When Shen Qingqiu tells Luo Binghe to fight, Binghe doesn't even have a weapon at hand.

Actually, he doesn't have a sword at hand.

Turns out having your magical horse kick a demon to death is still pretty effective!

Shen Yuan even manages to avoid getting poisoned too. Rather, Elder Hammer threatens to poison him and Luo Binghe charges at him shouting "stay away from my horse! I'll kill you!" and etc, and does get nicked by the thorns, but only Binghe and Shen Yuan notice and of course the poison doesn't work on Binghe, congrats for unlocking a new hint as to Luo Binghe's mysterious origins!

Yes, Horse SY shows up to help Binghe in the Dream Demon event. He still looks like a horse for it, but it also marks the first time he's able to speak to Luo Binghe, which successfully distracts Luo Binghe from a lot of the tormenting visions of his past because talking magic horse friend has a way of doing that.

So the Dream Demon is like, that's not a normal horse, and Luo Binghe is all "stay away from my horse! I'll kill you!" and Shen Yuan gets knocked out of the dream as usual. Wakes up to Luo Binghe rushing to his stall to check on him and prepare him some nice warm congee and double-check that he can't talk for reals (only in dreams for now, alas).

Anyway Luo Binghe has no reason to hide his demonic cultivation practice from his horse, so Shen Yuan gets to sit in on it as Binghe tries to put Meng Mo's teachings into practice, which he finds super cool. Binghe's normal cultivation also progresses quite a bit, but he's still very much disadvantaged there because the beat peak is only giving him like, half-assed guest disciple status lessons, no personal one-and-one tutelage, and he's unofficially banned from Qing Jing and wouldn't get any help there anyway (apart from Ning Yingying). The beast peak lord isn't really his shizun and Shen Qingqiu isn't going to take Binghe to do things like claim a sword from Wan Jian, either.

Luckily, Binghe can now confer with his horse in his dreams! Shen Yuan has such helpful ideas as compelling various hall masters and combat teachers to dream about their lessons, so that Binghe can insert himself into the form of their students and supplement his tutelage with nighttime training from all around the sect. And also stealing some blank documents from An Ding and forging paperwork to turn over to Wan Jian to make it look like Binghe has permission to claim a spiritual sword without Shen Qingqiu's approval.

What a way to pass the time before the Immortal Alliance Conference!

Horse Shen Yuan would like very much to just carry Luo Binghe away in the opposite direction, thank you, but he does have a system and it is still holding a metaphorical gun to his head about this. Still, there's no force in the world that could keep Shen Yuan in his stable when shit starts to go down, or that could stop him from kicking the snot out of Shen Qingqiu when he tries to throw Binghe into the Abyss. (Binghe's thoughts on the fight: "stay away from my horse! I'll kill you!")

However, Binghe does still get thrown down, and Horse SY runs off whilst weeping crystalline tears of dismay as his mane whips in the wind, imagining a future where a blackened Luo Binghe returns for his revenge arc and symbolically sends his beloved horsie companion away forever to go frolic or some shit, which Shen Yuan is not interested in!

But what can he do? By the time Binghe gets out of the Abyss, his need for a horse will be decidedly minimal. It already went down a bunch when he finally got Zheng Yang (that Binghe somehow almost never flew anywhere on, surely for reasons unrelated to his bond with SY), and with Xin Mo and all his OP talents, even if he did keep Shen Yuan, wouldn't he become as much of a useless background character as countless auxiliary wives in his harem?

No! He won't stand for it! There has to be a way for him to convince even blackened Binghe that Shen Yuan is still the best ride in town!

Luckily, Shen Yuan knows where there are some power-ups that might be able to help him. While he won't touch anything that would be vital for the protagonist, he's more flexible on screwing over random future harem members or side characters, especially when it wouldn't even really harm them all that much. So while Binghe is going through his gauntlet of horrors in the Abyss, Shen Yuan embarks on his own level-up quest to dramatically increase his cultivation, and become more capable of keeping up with Binghe.

When this leads to Shen Yuan being able to take on a human form, he gets really excited, but that's mostly for personal comfort reasons. He can finally hold books again! And talk to people! Who cares if he looks like someone's ponysona gijinka, he can walk over to a stall and order meat buns!

Unicorn form is next, and it's... meh? Mostly it's a boost in his cultivation. The horn looks fun but doesn't really do much.

When he upgrades to being able to take on a pegasus form, now that's really cool. He can fly now! Not only is it crazy good fun, but it also increases his mobility exponentially. Surely riding a flying horse would be more comfortable than balancing on a sword, too?

But that's not enough for his actual goal, he needs to keep going until he finally finds the right bullshit mythical item that will do what he hopes:

Turn him into a dragon!

Unfortunately said bullshit item is in the demon realms, which are a fairly difficult place to navigate as either a horse or a human. Beefing up for the trip takes Shen Yuan just about two years, and requires all of his other upgrades. But he does it, he gets to the demon realms, eats the creatively named Dragon Fruit Plant, and... gets... stuck???

In his new dragon form???

WTF this didn't happen to the random ox that Luo Binghe fed the fruit to in order to create a suitable beast of burden to impress the husband of Wife No.666! Although, thinking about it, maybe it did because it wasn't like the ox ever turned back into an ox afterwards. But Shen Yuan just figured that was because it was a simple beast of burden and saw becoming a dragon as an overall upgrade, why go back? He honestly hadn't really thought about it!

Cue Luo Binghe getting out of the Abyss only to shortly find that a random dragon is following him around. Maybe that just happens here? It doesn't attack him, at least, and he has no time to deal with it (or to sleep) because his first order of business is establishing enough of a foothold in the demon realms to regain access to the human ones, and find out what happened to his horse. And then kill Shen Qingqiu. In that order.