#99% of the time it's worth it for me to let stuff go and usually the 1% i regret it is fixable in some way

[starlit-mansion]

i kind of wish i had kept all my reading materials from my extreme period of focus on my ol parasocial pal and celebrity crush dan aykroyd, because i did have a bit of a collection back in the day and it would be fun to pull out stuff to reference without having to search down out of print books (especially because i no longer really feel that passionate about it anymore to even want to spend the few dollars on used books or attempt to libarary request it)

but i remember one of the fun things from his snl days was that he would write or play characters with technical knowledge about subjects he was interested in on his own, and get like... unexpected belly laughs from people in those technical fields because they were not expecting that to casually show up on the dick jokes for hipsters sketch show

[majimasleftasscheek]

alright since RGG seems bent on putting merch behind things like UFO catcher shit, here's my crappy how to use a proxy guide lol

gonna be using buyee as an example but most proxies are more or less the same so it's your choice on what to use. I look at fee prices and customer service reviews to decide on my proxies. sorry if it's wordy! but I think I cover the most important bits for general use.

so on the landing page you got all the goobly gook but what you'll mainly be looking at is the stuff in the red box. all the shops are listed there - the ones I mainly use are yahoo! japan auctions and mercari. the other shops are more like regular shopping sites. pretty much all proxies use the same sites as they're just a directory for wherever you wanna shop.

auctions are self explanatory - you bid on things till the time runs out or some auctions offer an immediate buyout price.

mercari is largely a secondhand seller marketplace but you can find companies on there as well.

when I search for stuff, I prefer putting in the actual terms for better accuracy over auto translating. so here I put in ryu ga gotoku (龍が如く). on buyee, I have rgg and dead souls as saved searches so I can just click on them to easily autofill the search bar which is handy.

items will populate and you'll see prices in yen and for me, usd. these are the *listing prices, not the *final price. since I'm using a proxy, there will be additional fees per item I get. also, the currency exchange rate occasionally changes so if something goes up or down in price, that be why.

💥 pls also note prohibited items that proxies cannot ship internationally such as items with flammable fluid which can include perfumes, lighters, etc. other things like alcohol, which may be okay for like 99% of countries is not okay, for example, in the US lol unless you go thru customs paperwork n shit. *ebay is usually where you want to go for prohibited items as those sellers *will go thru the process of filing the proper forms to send such items.

💥 pls be aware of scalpers! I tend to browse multiple pages and multiple listings of the same item to see what the prices typically fall around. if it looks too cheap, be aware of an item's description. if it looks too expensive, it probably is.

let's use this bad boy as an example. the main things you wanna look at on any item is the condition and the photos to be *sure* you are happy with what you're getting. if you see the same photos across listings, be a lil wary. you can see estimated shipping times and the seller's general ratings. always read item explanations if there is one in case the seller makes any notes of defects or other things.

you can add to shopping cart to keep browsing or you can go to the order page to immediately purchase.

so proxies typically have different plans you can choose when you buy items and that adds towards the fees. these can include inspections, insurance, etc of items when they arrive at the proxy warehouse (see your proxy's FAQ for plan descriptions). it's up to you what you deem worth choosing, if at all. for most things, I just go with whatever costs me 0 lol - especially if it's a cheaper item that I really don't feel needs to be inspected or insured, like a plushie or keychain. regardless of plan, you'll have to pay some proxy service fee (here the "buyee service fee"). in the top right, you'll see the total cost of everything. once you're happy, then you pick your form of payment. I usually go with paypal.

you can go to your page and see typical stuff like orders, settings, and the like. there's often specific tabs for certain sites like auctions so you can go there for anything you purchase in that way. the cart is anything you've added but haven't bought.

the orders tab is for anything bought and you may see the status of its shipping to the proxy warehouse which I'll get to in the next bit.

package information is everything that has arrived to the warehouse so here you can see I have 12 items currently waiting to be shipped to me.

user information, pretty basic but do MAKE SURE your addresses and things are 100% correct. it would really suck nuts if you pay out the ass for international shipping and it gets sent to the wrong place.

on the orders tab, you can see the status of the item. it contains important bits like date ordered and order # (I've blotted out mine). order received is *you* paying for the order. order completed is *buyee* paying for the order. shipped means the seller has shipped to buyee's warehouse address and arrived at warehouse is self explanatory.

*sometimes, a seller may cancel an order after you've paid for it and you will be refunded. this is often due to the seller unable to actually send the item for whatever reason or they don't sell to proxies. nothing you can really do about it but I've only had it happen a couple of times in dozens of purchases.

back to the package information tab, here you can see all the packages that have arrived at the warehouse waiting for shipment. proxies will store packages for free for a certain number of days - buyee being 30 while I've seen other go to 45 days, etc. after that time is up, you will be charged for storage per day so be aware of that!

here you can consolidate packages which means putting everything into one shipment instead of going individually. you can see estimated costs of shipping per item which, if you did each item individually, that would be mad expensive. when you consolidate, things can still be pretty pricey but imo better to pay idk 150 bucks in shipping for 10 items instead of 300 bucks for all 10 individually.

💥 shipping is calculated by weight so be aware of that when you buy items - however baseline costs will be the same for lighter items regardless of how much they weigh. baseline costs for me is around 15-30 bucks regardless of what I get. for example, I have a teeny tiny keychain in storage and several figures. the shipping for that keychain is the same cost as the figures so it's only sensible to lump them into one package cuz I ain't paying out the ass to ship 1 keychain lol.

you are free to consolidate what you want and how. if you wanna consolidate some packages to ship now and you wanna do others later, you are free to. just keep in mind your budget and storage time!

proxies also offer services to protectively wrap your packages. if you're concerned about damage, then choose that option when you consolidate. I don't often do it unless what I'm buying can break otherwise all my packages have arrived relatively unharmed.

💥 proxies will consolidate things AS IS so if you have a buncha figures that don't have their boxes, the proxy will put them in a shipping box just as they are, however they received them from the seller. so if the seller only bubble wrapped the figure, it will be sent to you just like that, no additional protection unless you pay for that option.

*consolidation can take some days and you'll be informed when items are ready to ship. at that point, you pay the shipping and that's it! you can choose what type of shipping you wanna go with (such as DHL, EMS, sea mail (if it's available), etc at differing prices and arrival times. pick what's best for you. *note, sea mail is often the cheapest but the slowest (like several months arrival time) and not available to every country (plus you'd want protective packaging for this just in case cuz boat rides be bumpy)

here are some examples of shipping costs for a single one of my items. some of these options will disappear when I consolidate cuz shipping a lil figure is very different from shipping a larger box full of multiple things.

💥 be sure to read EVERYTHING and make sure you know what options you're choosing to make sure it fits your budget and expectations of arrival time.

one more thing proxies can do is order from a number of sites that aren't on the main page. for buyee, you want to go to the other sites information tab and then click "purchase request for other sites."

here you can input the information of whatever site you want to see if the proxy can purchase it for you. this is how I buy things on ebten like the jpn only preorders. if the proxy cannot buy the requested item, they'll let you know.

if they can go thru with the order, they will confirm your payment and it goes thru the same process as any other order.

[thegreatyin]

Your posts about Fallen London are slowly tempting me into playing it- do you have any tips to start or is it best to play it completely blind?

i have a few tips and tricks! mind you im far from a veteran and i basically got my hand held by tumblr for most of the game so take everything with a grain of salt. you can and should do whatever you want always. i don't personally play it blind, but you may get more enjoyment out of it if you do, and that's awesome and im super happy for you. this is what i can say from experience:

take your time with it. this is like. the numero uno fallen london tip. it's not a game where you rush to the end in a week. it's a game where you do 10-minute-intervals of a marathon to the end in maybe a few months if you know what you're doing. spending money on action refills usually isn't worth it when you can just mosey on through neathly life one storylet at a time. a vast majority of the game's content is completely free to everyone, and while the monthly subscription options are pretty neat and let you play some exclusive story stuff (that can be pretty fire- cricket anyone basically defined the scoundrel's entire character) none of it is required and 99% of the time you aren't missing out on anything by just taking your time and exploring the neath at your own pace.

you need to raise all of your skills eventually! this is, uh. something im horribly guilty of not following myself. you can (and probably should) pick at least two stats to focus on for your character (most of the time these will be your main ambition stats, aka the closest thing FL has to a main story questline) but eventually you Will be expected to have them all at around the 100 range, minimum. for certain Super Late-game Story Content, watchful 200 is mandatory to start it, so if you have trouble choosing i'd recommend leveling that bad boy first. don't neglect your other stats though!!! don't be like me. don't be like my poor poor neglected shadowy and dangerous. it's too late for me. save yourself.

friends are fun and free and you are legally mandated to exploit them for fun and profit. okay you really aren't mandated to exploit your FL friends list but you totally should anyway just for goofy sillies. to be less jokey about it, while fallen london is primarily a single-player gaming experience, the playerbase is super friendly and super open to helping each other out (especially new players!). go on reddit, ask around on tumblr, get yourself a few buddies and use them as resources to gain items and stats and menace reduction i mean. valued companions that im sure you will treasure forever and definitely not backstab to publish that inflammatory newspaper article you've been cooking up.

on a very loosely similar note, the fallen london wiki is your best friend. yes, we're following stardew rules with this one. this is the kind of game best optimally played with a wiki article or three open in the neighboring tabs so you can follow along and know what is what. there's tons of guides on basically every part of FL, and it's no shame at all to reach out to either it or the wider community if you get stuck or feel lost at something.

if an in-game storylet has bold text, it will never lie to you! except for when it does. but that's very very very rare. you can always trust the bold text. it is always your friend. i prommy. which brings us neatly into our next bulletpoint,

seeking the name is ill-advised because it's the only storyline that can permanently brick your account at its conclusion. don't worry, the ease at which you can avoid this is practically comical, and the game will Always give you multiple chances to opt-out if you somehow accidentally start it anyway. most people make a dedicated alt character entirely for the purpose of sacrificing them to the well of doom. unless you're playing with your eyes closed for multiple months straight, you'll never run into SMEN without deliberately chasing it, and if you somehow get to that point honestly man just ignore this entire bulletpoint and see how far the rabbithole goes. go on. it's friendly :)

batfucking is always the right answer to any problem ever

echoes/the game's standard currency should always be thought of as a method of gaining items rather than a strict hoard of video game dollars. money-making can be super difficult in the earlygame, but it gets exponentially easier as you go further on. you shouldn't be afraid to sell anything you don't need, though personally i'd recommend keeping an "insurance stock" of the most basic items just in case. this includes rostygold, moon-pearls, honey droplets, etc. by-and-large, these are the easiest items to get in a pinch, and it usually isn't worth buying them from the bazaar when you can otherwise get them naturally through other methods around london. once you've got a good lodgings setup and feel decently familiar with the earlygame zones and their options, you should aim to have at minimum 1,000 of these bad boys on hand at any given time, then feel free to sell any excess you make for some quick cash in a pinch.

menaces aren't as bad as you may think, but be wary of specifically suspicion! the four main menace qualities you'll encounter in the earlygame are nightmares, wounds, scandal, and suspicion. when one of these menace stacks reach 8, you'll automatically be trapped in a unique location corresponding to whatever menace you raised too high and will have to spend time working your way out. some (nightmares and wounds) tend to fly-by rather quickly, while others (scandal and suspicion) tend to take a bit longer to get out of. none of these mean the end of your playthrough or your character, and some quests even require you to visit certain menace-exclusive locations! there are tons of items and ways to reduce menaces and keep yourself out of Situations such as these, but suspicion in particular is probably the only menace you should avoid maxing At All Costs. when your suspicion gets too high and you get sent to its special menace zone too often, you build up a criminal record that makes it harder to reduce suspicion in the future. fortunately, suspicion is the only menace with this gimmick, and before this record gets too high it's just as easy to keep row as the rest of the lot. TLDR, death from wounds is easy to escape from, but avoiding the strongarm of the law is substantially more annoying and inconvenient.

or you could be like tumblr user @with-bells-upon, who's apparently avoided death at all costs and apparently hasn't died once in the entire several months they've been playing. i don't even know how they've gotten this far without doing that. it's kind of impressive, kind of funny. especially since their ambition is one the few requiring you to die to proceed. this isn't a piece of advice i just wanted to affectionately call them out because what the heck

speaking of ambitions, pick the ambition that's right for you! ambitions are the biggest overarching questline in the game, and their requirements and rewards span the entire neath and occasionally even beyond. all four ambitions are meant to be started early and last well into the mid and late game. outside of a certain special situation regarding the light fingers ambition (the only ambition that explicitly lies to you in-game when describing its premise) you can't change your ambition without spending money, so choose carefully and choose well. they're all (mostly) equally rewarding and equally fulfilling adventures that will define your player character and your journey through the neath. there's tons of advice and spoiler-free summaries of each ambition online, so i won't cover it all here. just do your research (or don't, if you prefer) and follow your heart. maybe playing the world's most high-stake poker game ever speaks to you. maybe you want to commit a murder. maybe you want to commit a murder in the name of justice and/or revenge. maybe you just want a really really big really really shiny rock. all can be found in the neath, and all shall (eventually) be well.

if you buy 400 lucky weasels you get a special achievement. i don't need to say more.

make up a guy. this is another legal mandate if you're a fallen london player. you have to make up your own little sicko victorian london guy and roleplay them while you play. trust me. it's fun. it's free. they're going to haunt you forever. the scoundrel got a nickname like 4 months ago and ever since my mind has never known peace.

and probably most important of all, fallen london might not be the game for you, and that's okay. it includes a lot of reading. and grinding. and i do mean a lot of reading and grinding. particularly the latter, which tends to throw people off the most out of anything. it's a very niche game for a very niche audience and getting into it can be an acquired taste at the best of times. but when you do get into it, it's some Really good writing and Really in-depth worldbuilding and the most fun you'll ever have imagining sicko victorian guys running around building train stations and railway tracks directly to hell. take your time, have fun, and most important of all, always look to love.

anyway yeah that's my fallen london tips and tricks list isn't it really short and comprehendible

[queenlucythevaliant]

hi, young soon-to-be a librarian here, i’ve liked books for a long time but the issue is i exclusively read books below my reading level for no explicable reason, what books do i read so that i don’t just look like a total child managing a library he shouldn’t even have access to. (I’m the co-founder of my high school’s Library committee.)

I really want to be what this library needs, and i know im unqualified but if i don’t do this, nobody will. I am falliable but i’m not gonna let this chance fall by the wayside.

Hi there! Flattered that you think I can opine usefully on this issue.

My general statement to you would be that truths really do coexist here. (1) Just read whatever you want, my dude. Life is short and there are so many more books in the world than you will ever have the chance to read. Don't force yourself to read stuff that doesn't bring you any joy. (2) The books that you read absolutely do shape you as a person, and for that reason it's good to read things that are varied, challenging, and edifying. There are all sorts of ways for those two truths to slot together, and we've got our whole lives to figure it out.

That said, here's some personal experience from my summer at the bookstore that I'll toss up alongside those fairly broad statements:

I became aware very quickly that I am not literary soulmates with any of my coworkers or the vast, vast majority of my customers. I've been told several times now that my personal tastes are "not commercial." Yet every now and then, I'll get to talk with someone who also really loves the same books that I love, and those moments are just magic. In your case, maybe those conversations will be with kids or teens. That's awesome! You and whoever your people are will light up in those moments, and you'll figure out pretty quickly how to be useful to everyone else.

I am interested in reading exactly zero of the Most Popular Books that our store sells. That's fine, and thankfully no one is going to make me. I've found it useful, however, to do a bit of research so that I can make pleasant small talk about those books and recommend them as appropriate. Wikipedia, Goodreads, and YouTube are all your friends here. I've actually really enjoyed that kind of research! Kinda feels like rummaging through the closet of a friend with an entirely different fashion sense.

Another thing that's really useful is making note of where anything you might remotely call a favorite is in the store(/library), especially those that are outside your usual genres. You might be surprised at how varied your own reading is! This is helpful when someone asks for a rec outside your usual wheelhouse. Even if you haven't read 99% of the books in that section, you can point to the one or two you've read and loved and say, "Oh, these are my favorites. Read them," without necessarily having to cop to the fact that you haven't read much else in the genre.

Also worth mentioning: our store manager reads mostly YA and fantasy, and we all respect her and think she's great. Our assistant manager reads mostly YA and romance, and ditto. She's also great. The gal who runs our kids section is the oldest person working at our store, and she reads tons of kids books not just because that's her area, but also because she genuinely loves them. She is super cool and knowledgeable. I really don't think people are likely to look down on you for what you read.

So that's what I've got. Hopefully something in there is helpful. For what it's worth, you sound highly qualified based on what you wrote and I think your earnest desire to serve your community in this way will get you a lot further than having read or not read any specific books :)

[stardewvalleybut-i-draw]

Qna Answers!

Ever since you mentioned that you do darker art besides stardew I've been super curious! Is there anywhere we can follow your work?

NOPE! this is more or less the first time I had much of a social media presence, I did make an Instagram when I was around 12 but I lost the password to it, and honestly... It's best I never find it...BUT I would like to post my other art somewhere! Let me know what social media I should use If you have ideas and I'll go make one! :D

I could use Instagram again but I haven't heard too many great things since I left.

What’s your favorite thing about Stardew? Do you have any other games you’d like to make comics about?

I love the fishing and mining aspect of the game! that and the mini-games. You'd think it be the socializing aspect with what I make but there's just something satisfying about making progress in the mines or getting that impossible to catch fish.

I don't usually have a lot of money to spend on games so I tend to go indie but I also never expected to be making art about Stardew so not really. If I like the characters, I might make comics about them but this is the first time I've done comics about games ever so maybe in the future.

Who is your least favorite bachelor and bachelorette

This was a really hard question to answer, I don't have a least favorite bachelor or bachelorette, I just have favorites. The main reason why is because I've either met people who are like the bachelor's or I can relate to them on a personal level so it's hard for me to dislike anyone BUT THATS A COP OUT ANSWER so I really pushed myself to find something to not like.

I'm gonna get torched but Elliot- gifts are super expensive to get, I know I can just give neural gifts but it's a bad habit of mine of going for the loved gifts and my guys got EXPENSIVE tastes or gifts that aren't easy to get BUT It fits his character as it implies he came from a more luxurious lifestyle. (if the Victorian clothing wasn't a big enough hint) but again, I don't dislike him, he has a lot of comedic potential!

I'm gonna get MURDERD for this one, Leah- I CAN NEVER FIND HER. Her pathing and my pathing NEVER collide and I keep forgetting she goes to the beach to draw sometimes so I never go there and I go to the wiki to find where in the WORLD she is at and 99% of the time is in the cortege but I can't get to her because I don't have 2 hearts yet because I don't run into her unless I remember to look in the saloon IF shes there BUT again, I do not dislike her...I dislike her pathing and that's on me for not thinking ahead. Plus this problem goes away once I DO have 2 hearts.

Whats your favorite crop and who’s your favorite bachelorette?

Coffee! (gee what a surprise 😅) I just love it when I can get one seed, grow it, and then harvest it and multiply my coffee crops by a huge amount! It's not worth much but it's just a satisfying crop to have.

Maru- not exactly a popular pic but I had a lot of friends who were 10X smarter than me growing up so Maru just naturally reminds me a lot of my closest friends, THAT and she's easy for me to bump into in the clinic.

(I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED IT 💀 but I think it said-) What software do you youse and what do you recommend?

I use Krita, and couldn't recommend it more! (scroll down more to the archive and there are more details about it)

and a UGEE tablet BUT I got it as a free gift. So far I haven't had to replace it yet and has lasted a good amount of time (my old ones lasted a year until I had to replace it) so Idk if I can recommend it and it's kinda expensive. (for me anyway) I'm honestly dreading the day something happens to it and I have to get it replaced :(

It costs about $60usd right now

Question Archive! - stuff I was asked before here for you to find :D

(some of it, the rest is tagged with #ask)

Whats your chickens name (the chicken in your pfp)?

Tudee-chi or Tudee for short!

Got any advice for perfection?

This website apparently! That and the Stardew Wiki

Okay I have to ask: favorite Bachelors and Bachelorettes?

Alright! Here's a tier list from Favorate to I'm chill with them!

Do you think that the male and female farmer can co-exist as a pair of chaotic twin siblings with joint ownership of the farm?

And I don't see why not! It's more fun that way

Sorry to bother, but can i ask what you use to draw?

Not a bother at all! I love answering questions!!! I use Krita

Who is your favorite stardew Bachelor?

Harvey! and for the dumbest reasons...Harvey ended up being my favorite bachelor for 2 main reasons

Sorry to bother but do you happen to have any tips/advice on drawing bodies and heads??

I ABSOLUTELY DO!!! it's no bother at all

What you need to keep in mind is that a lot of my advice is a suggestion and what I'm comfortable with-

For the future, this will be a question archive of things I'm asked to keep it easy to find once the Mega pin post is ready!

[kimbapisnotsushi]

you seem to have a good read on HQ and your takes are great, so i have a question...and if you'd rather not go there, please ignore this! but i see oikawa get called "arrogant" quite often and i'm curious, would you say he is? what is it that makes people think that? imo he has a plenty of flaws, but i truly don't think arrogance is one of them. self-centered, sure, but not arrogant i think. i'm open to being wrong, i'm just legit so confused by that particular criticism, it makes me doubting my reading comprehension. i feel like that one post that's like "free my man, he didn't do that. he did a lot of other stuff tho" LOL. if you do answer this, then thanks for your time!

oh, dear anon. this is a very very big question and i'm honored you think i am capable of providing an answer that does it justice!! i don't consider myself an oikawa expert by far, but i'll do my best because he's still very beloved to me, and i hope whatever i say helps!

(but also - maybe take what i say with a grain of salt LMAO)

anyways, to get the main point out of the way: i completely agree that oikawa isn't arrogant! i actually haven't seen any commentary about that myself (bless!!!), so i can't say for sure why some people might think that, but my guess is that they think his pridefulness = arrogance — they think that the confidence he has in himself and seijoh contributes nothing to their actual power and is utterly meaningless if they don't win, especially in the face of ushijima. which, like, come on. what kind of captain would he be if he wasn't confident in himself and his teammates? is he supposed to tell them that they're going to lose??? is he supposed to discourage their hard work and effort???

or maybe it's because oikawa acts like he's all that, but doesn't have anything to show for it. who does he think he is? what does he think his pride is worth? what right does he have to go around making grand declarations when he has nothing to his name?

(which isn't entirely true, either, but we'll get into that, promise.)

now, do i think that he can, occasionally, be flippant, shallow, and/or petty? yeah, sure. he's got one hell of a personality about it. even iwaizumi says as much. oikawa is great at being a little shit. it's one of my favorite things about him!

but is oikawa genuinely arrogant, or self-centered? well . . . i don't think so.

see, here's the thing about oikawa: he knows he's good, but he doesn't think he's good enough. i think it'd be easiest to really explain what that meant if we broke this down into two separate parts, so let's give it a go, shall we?

(buckle up, friends, because it's about to get LONG. also: TIMESKIP SPOILERS!! and there's a tldr at the start of the tags because. WOW.)

so, first things first: if people are calling oikawa arrogant, then i'm like 99% sure that they don't actually know what the word "arrogant" means.

"arrogant" is used to describe someone full of themselves. it's used to describe someone conceited and pompous. it's used to describe someone so assured of and invested in their self-importance that they don't care for other people, and if it seems like they do, then it's usually wildly off the mark and still serves to inflate their own egos.

oikawa has never once been like that. he's been pretty much the exact opposite, in fact.

and yeah, sure, by his third year of high school, he knows he's good at volleyball, and that's fine! it's perfectly all right to claim you're good at something if you have the skills/experience to back it up. confidence is healthy as long as it isn't in overabundance, and we actually see a lot of this throughout the series!

(not to mention that this was where ushijima fell short. he was overflowing with confidence. he did not believe, for even a single second, that hinata shouyou and his meager, scrappy little flock of crows could beat him.

but oikawa? he knew. he knew what it looked like to make something bloom.)

the key to oikawa's confidence that made him better was that he could pinpoint others' strengths and weaknesses just as well as he could with his own. and (bear with me, please, i might get kind of boring here bc it's nothing that hasn't been said in the manga before) i don't mean it in the way we see the coaches or more analytical players do, as observations to be taken advantage of by everyone else; i mean that in the sense of how vital it is to his position as a setter. that was always the biggest difference between oikawa and kageyama: no matter how much more raw talent kageyama had, no matter how much better oikawa believed him to be, kageyama, especially in the beginning, struggled to do what oikawa could with a team. kageyama struggled to bring out the best in each player. and it wasn't because he didn't know how -- oikawa freely admitted that kageyama had the skill for it, that kageyama, once he got his shit together, could win against him -- it was because kageyama didn't have that same confidence in himself.

(not until much later, anyways. but that's another story, for another time.)

so, oikawa's confident. he knows he's good. he can bring out the best in each player. he's got a killer serve (and a killer smile!), a mind for tactics that borders on machievallianism, and cherishes the trust he is given like it's something precious. his coaches let him lead without leaning on them. his team has the utmost respect and admiration for him. he has a reputation. from karasuno to shiratorizawa to the whole of miyagi -- there is not a single character who knows oikawa tooru and would believe that he is, in any way, bad at volleyball.

but it's not enough. despite all of that, oikawa still doesn't think he's good enough. and that, friends, brings us to the second point.

oikawa tooru is nothing if not passionate.

so were the others, of course. kageyama kept going after his grandfather's death. hinata kept going while being a nobody from nowhere with no one to back him up. atsumu kept going while osamu didn't. it's not even about just those who went pro -- kenma, kuroo, noya, and everyone else found things that they were passionate about and kept going with it. the entire story revolves around loving what you do and trying to keep that love alive, and, sometimes, that can be really, really difficult when it seems like it doesn't love you back.

oikawa was so insecure over kageyama to the point where he nearly decked the poor kid. oikawa got crushed by ushijima-- who kept telling him that his team was not good enough, that his choices were not good enough, that there was nothing good enough to be proud of -- for years in a row. oikawa was taught that there would always be someone better than him no matter how skilled he was, but if he let that stop him then he didn't fucking belong on the court in the first place.

oikawa tooru is intimately acquainted with not being good enough, but he keeps trying to be. he keeps going. he tries to keep the love alive even if he's not loved back. he pushes and practices and takes a plane far from home to become even better. even if he doesn't have the skill, even if he doesn't have the talent, even if he doesn't have the love -- he still has his pride. and what does that mean, in the end? how far does that take him?

in the end, oikawa tooru walks across a world stage and sees people who believed in him on the other side and calls it a family reunion. in the end, he gets to play the volleyball that reminds him of why he loves it and how it gives him so much love back. in the end, his pride is unyielding and unbreakable, a product of the forge. he molded it with his own two hands. he will not let it falter so easily.

arrogance would not have taken oikawa tooru this far. i hope this has proven that he is anything but.

remember: instinct is something you polish. talent is something you make bloom. and never, ever let anyone else tell you what your pride is worth.

[shannonsketches]

Can I just say I love how you can be somewhat critical about certain things about totk without completely and unnecessarily trashing it and even adding humor. I wish more people were like that.

Aw, thank you! I'm just trying to make sure folks feel safe to enjoy things here (as long as, yknow, the respect goes both ways).

I definitely used to be someone who would trash stuff unnecessarily, and I'll always credit a mutual (although I did forget their handle,,,I'm so sorry) I had at the time for just letting me go on a long rant about why something bothered me and went, "That sounds really personal, but that got nothing to do with this." And all at once I realized I'd been projecting my needs/wants/expectations onto other peoples work (commercial or otherwise), and holding strangers responsible for serving me, specifically! Which is an absurd thing to expect from anyone!!

And sometimes I still forget the world doesn't revolve around me, glorious me, and I have to go back and apologize and do my mental health homework to figure out why I reacted a certain way, and why I took something so personally. But it's been really helpful to try and do the homework first, or type that whole salty take up and delete it or draft and review it again in the morning, before you make a stranger (or a friend!) feel bad or unsafe with you for the crime of enjoying something you didn't (which I have done, many times, and feel very bad about).

Plus, I've learned that if you're someone who is always analyzing and critiquing things, those moments can be really good practice for (respectfully! privately! in your own space! not on that stranger's post! not in that poor dev's DMs!) considering what you might have done differently, assuming you had the same parameters and resources available. I find this is especially good practice if you plan on entering a creative field! I promise you get a lot more sympathetic with how things turn out when you force yourself to dream within a budget and a deadline.

(also being nice to professionals is good practice! Some of them are jerks, true, but 99% of devs artists designers directors etc are just doing their best under a ton of stress and pressure to make everyone happy, and they're usually really proud of what they're able to accomplish, and they are absolutely not getting paid enough to deal with the comment section)

Once you let go of that need to be Correct and have control over stuff that isn't about you, you end up having a lot more fun and a lot less limitations for playing in the sandbox, and with other creatives! Plus you learn about yourself, and what your priorities and tastes are. You become a better story teller and collaborator when you can not only find but actively look for the good in things you may have completely dismissed as a kneejerk reaction to not liking something about it.

And again, I'm definitely still an ass, a lot more often than I'd like to be. I still struggle with that need to be Correct and to have complete control over my sandbox. I still get defensive and have to navigate rejection sensitivity when someone's idea contradicts mine. I definitely understand the reactivity when something means a lot to us, and it takes practice to share when you're used to being protective! But it's so, so worth it.

You meet such amazing people and find such wonderful, supportive communities when you embrace two cake theory. I highly recommend making an effort to expand your perspective and be a part of that support.

Supportive Community Pro-Tips from a Fandom Old Guy:

You don't have to adopt a theory to enjoy or appreciate it!

If someone's takes upset you, just block them. It's okay.

Don't critique someone's work unless they ask for critique

Don't RB someone's work with negative/contradictory comments, just make your own post

DO freak out in the tags/comments/inbox if you like something

Obviously don't wish harm over ships/headcanons/etc, just block!

Remember someone else's work is not about you

Remember someone else's work is Not About You

Are they experiencing a thing? Are they sharing their experience with you? That's a gift! Treat it like one!

Elitism is a mind killer. Newer ≠ Lesser, Older ≠ Greater. We all have stuff to offer and we all have stuff to learn.

and if I may impart the most important thing I've ever learned in fandom:

BE NICE TO EACH OTHER, WE'RE ALL JUST MAKING STUFF UP!

Thank you for the lovely message and for letting me ramble I'm!! Sorry this got so long and preachy, haha

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

Hello! I am here from your post of the BG3 matchups / hcs!

I was reading fanfics when I should be sleeping for college and I came across this and figured this might quell my indecisiveness.

So I guess a bit about my Tav / Me:

My Tav/OC is named Maelyra, and her traits are that she is really outgoing, adventurous, kind, you know, the usual (Given that she is a Bard and a Half-Elf). She's very optimistic and friendly and welcoming to new people (a bit ADHD). She is also smol, not dwarf small, but she is 5'1. She also tends to give one too many second chances to people regardless of how much they hurt her. The only time she does not give second chances is if they hurt anyone she cares about because she is insanely loyal and would lay her life on the line for an in an instant for her friends.

She also tends to be a little bit of a hypocrite in some regards, as she spends a lot of time taking care of people and telling them that they are always worth it, no matter what and they should never feel ashamed of anything or that they have to hide parts of themselves. Yet she does not like to tell people about her past and usually masks her pain with happiness (not to say she isn't ever geuninley happy b/c 99% of the time she is actually happy), because she's afraid it would make them look at her differently (she is usually the sunshine of the group).

Her hobbies and skills are mainly on the artistic side. Dancing, singing, drawing, painting, playing music. Anything that is in that regard. Hence, the Bard stuff. She loves, loves, LOVES kids - thinks they are the most cute things to ever exist. And she also tends to daydream a lot. She tends to have a strong dislike for insanely physical activities if it isn't for fun and gets bored easily if the activity isn't something she is interested in.

(Sorry if that's long, I get carried away a lot)

Anyway!

I am fine with boys and girls (coming in a bi-queen!), but I would like them separate if that's alright :)

Thank you so much, and sorry if this is so long!

A/N: Reading fanfics when I should be sleeping is practically my life story lol. Because you (as a fellow bisexual queen!) specified you wanted separate male and female answers, I’ve got two companions for you down below.

For you @seanymphcalypso , I think your best matches in companions would be Astarion (Male) and Karlach (Female)!

⭒ Astarion is a great match for Maelyra, even if it may not look so on paper. At first glance, the two have more differences than similarities, however, if you look closer, their differences are perfect counterbalances for one another.

Astarion may put on the charm, but a good amount of that is a facade- one he was forced to wear to lure victims to Cazador. He’s more introverted than he lets on. Although I do believe deep down, he truly is an extrovert, he’s less of a conspicuous one. He would do well with someone friendly and outgoing enough to initiate, within a relationship- and that’s where Maelyra comes in. She’s friendly, kind and very sociable. There’s no doubt in my mind her extroversion would enable her to slowly unpeel the many walls and guarded layers of Astarion’s heart. He is rather disarmed by someone who is genuinely cordial all the time- it’s sort of refreshing to think there are people out there who are sincerely kind and not just feigning kindness or interest to get something later on.

Astarion himself isn’t a big guy. He’s slender, and not incredibly tall so Maelyra’s shorter stature wouldn’t bother him in the slightest. He finds it rather adorable- that so much energy and personality could be stored in such a small person.

If anyone could use a boatload of second chances, it’s Astarion. He wasn't exactly the kindest person before his capture, and he still isn’t exactly the kindest person now. He’s endured 200 years of nonstop trauma and torture. So much of how he thinks, how he acts, and how he reacts is based on survival, not on personality. He lashes out, and he’s probably going to lash out often, even when he knows better. It’s not that he wants to hurt his new companions, and he especially doesn’t want to upset Maelyra, it’s just that he’s not used to having permission to experience all the newfound emotions. He’s inexperienced when it comes to processing them, compartmentalizing, and responding to them appropriately. He’s so grateful that she understands how hard he’s tried, how hard he’s trying to be better. He thinks she must be part celestial or aasimar to have the level of patience and forgiveness she does.

It’s also so meaningful to Asatrion that she refuses to let people cross the line with him and with her friends. No one has stuck their neck out for him like that before. (Huh, get it? Neck??) He used to believe he wasn’t worthy of such defenses. But thanks to Maelyra’s affection, he’s starting to think differently.

Astarion understands Maelyra’s hesitance to share who she truly is, so he won't push her to open up until she’s ready. He may bug her with some teasing questions here and there, but as long as she takes what he says to her on faith, he figures it’s the least he could do to return the favor. But whenever she is ready to share, he’s ready to listen. And he promises to do his best not to judge.

He loves that she’s interested in art. Back as a magistrate, Astarion found he quite enjoyed the fine arts- the theater, art shows, higher fashion- all that sorts. Especially the way Maelyra manages to capture his appearance on paper or canvas. After he was turned, he never thought he’d see his appearance ever again. But thanks to her talent, he can see himself through her eyes: with such precise brush strokes, and detail, he can tell he’s loved just by looking at her depictions of him.

Astarion may not be the fondest of children at the moment, mainly because they bring back horrible memories of what Cazador forced him to do. But he does like how happy Maelyra is when she’s around them. It fills his undead heart with glee every time he sees how her face lights up around a baby. Honestly, the idea of having or raising children never used to cross his mind. But now that he’s free, and now that he’s with her, the idea doesn’t seem so impossible. He doesn’t feel ready yet- and he probably won't be for quite some time. So in the meantime, he just grins and bears it as Maelyra makes him sit amongst the children for song/story time. And he tries his hardest to maintain a stoic, indifferent disposition, even as some of the little ones weave flowers into his hair.

Astarion doesn’t mind taking it easy, as a matter of fact, he prefers it. A lazy day spent lounging in each other’s company sounds much better than hiking through humid weather or getting trapped amongst an unruly village crowd. He’s very similar in that if he doesn’t want to do something, he’ll make sure to let everyone around him know. The two of them can be quite stubborn that way, much to some of the other companions’ chagrin.

At the end of the day, Astarion feels great love for Maelyra. And he knows she loves him in return. And thanks in part to her love, he’s beginning to think he might one day love himself.

♨ Karlach is such a great match for Maelyra because they’re like two peas in a pod! Karlach is loud, outgoing, and extroverted as well, making her able to match Maelyra’s more sociable energy. They’re both optimists and choose to look on the bright side, despite the darkness in their past. That’s not to say being hopeful comes easy to either one of them, but with Maelyra and her infectious eagerness by her side, Karlach feels empowered to choose happiness all the more.

Karlach is big and tall. She’s a tall glass of water for sure. And she thinks it’s adorable that Maelyra’s shorter than her. She loves their height difference and how it makes Maelyra the perfect height for forehead kisses. Plus, it boosts Karlach’s ego when she can lift Maelyra and carry her around on her shoulders as if she weighs nothing. It’s also Karlach’s way of letting Maelyra know she can defend and protect her from harm. If any evil thing comes Maelyra’s way, she can just step behind her giant barbarian girlfriend.

Karlach is also fairly forgiving when it comes to second chances. Despite being a barbarian, she’s empathetic and thoughtful before going in for the attack. She chose to reason with Wyll rather than engage him in battle when he first hunted her down. She isn’t the bloodthirsty devil people think she is, and she wants people to know that. So she forgives. That being said, Karlach certainly doesn’t forget. If someone dares try to take or hurt her friends, she will go into a rage. God help anyone who dares try to hurt Maelyra.

Karlach is truly impressive in that while she does often take on the burden of her friends, she also manages to put her needs first. It’s great for Maelyra to be with someone who knows how to balance goodwill and self-care as it sets an example for her to follow. With Karlach reminding Maelyra to take time for herself, Maelyra is even more effective at caring for her friends. Sleep and proper care for yourself does wonders, and it makes you all the more ready to tackle the day. And Karlach loves that Maelyra knows how to have fun. Fun is super important, especially when you’re tasked with saving the world. It’s the only thing that keeps you from going completely crazy. So KArlach and Maelyra are often the ones to initiate game nights or visits to a local tavern. (They may also be the only two left standing after a couple rounds of shots lol.) However, just because Karlach is extroverted and happy-go-lucky more often than not, doesn’t mean she isn’t serious. She knows when to be positive, and she also knows when people just need to vent. She’s willing to listen if Maelyra is ever willing to talk. She wants Maelyra to feel safe with her- in both happy moments and in bad ones.

And ooh boy, kids! Karlach lights up around kids! Did you see how wistful she got when meeting Jaheria’s family? She’d love nothing more for her life to be about protecting and nurturing as opposed to destroying and claiming. She and Maelyrn would have hour-long conversations, dreaming about what their family might look like in the future. Sure, there’d be a ton of logistics to work out, but in the meantime, that doesn't mean they can’t dream.

Karlach needs physical activity. She needs tons of movement or else she’s gonna go crazy. So to work Maelyra into her workouts, Karlach will either use her as excess weight or as someone to count her reps. Maelyra could get comfortable on Karlach’s back, reading or writing, or even drawing as Karlach continues to do push ups. Sometimes Karlach will alter the count, just to see if Maelyra’s listening. “24… 200… 201” “Don’t you mean 26?” “Of course love, what did you think I said?”

They’re basically couple goals. Everyone else in camp is lowkey jealous af.

...

Please Like & Reblog!

[yuurivoice]

When people complain about the things you do creatively, how do you know what's worth internalizing and what's just rude chatter you don't need to hear about? I struggle with that in not just my creative endeavors, but my Everything

Feels like I should preface this whole answer with a big "I don't think anyone in the recent reblog conversation was being rude" because that's not how I interpreted those interactions and do not want me responding to this to be taken as if I viewed it as such.

99% of the time it's about removing yourself from spaces where that sort of thing can get to you, which is why I try and keep browsing tags and stuff to a minimum because people deserve spaces where people can have whatever kinda thoughts they want! Ultimately I don't think it should be my business what people are up to unless they specifically try and make it my business, in which case that's a whole other deal for dealing with criticism or actual rude complaints etc.

There's plenty of valid critique, so I wouldn't necessarily lump that in with "people complaining", but that sort of thing has been fairly minimal. Over time certain boundaries have become broadly understood within the community and it has worked out. I'm usually more concerned with how other members of the community might react to seeing folks shitting on a particular thing that maybe they enjoyed or related to. (Example: That ask about Charlie's legs, which in retrospect should have just gotten yeeted rather than answered.)

I've learned how to tune stuff like that out most of the time, but it's different when you're also in the audience.

Rejection sensitivity is a thing, and I definitely understand the struggle with how it can impact a lot of different aspects of things beyond creativity. I wish I had an answer that was a bit more actionable, but it's just one of those things you try to master as you go. Some folks are really good at letting it roll off their shoulders, others it's like having their battleship sunk. Learning to not beat yourself up over it and focus on the bigger picture is also part of it.

Wish I could be more help!

[comfy-whumpee]

The Forum

References events in this post. TW: modern slavery (BBU).

@neuro-whump​, @rosesareviolentlyread​, @mylifeisonthebookshelf, @pumpkin-spice-whump, @whumpsday @kira-the-whump-enthusiast

r/boxieadvice holepunch5309 two hours ago

Office pet beat up by other staff (advice)

Posting this from a throwaway so I don’t get fired. My company is a small business that has a boxie in the head office. He technically belongs to the manager but he was bought with company funds. He does hospitality, cleaning, filing and stuff. But recently the heads of department have started hurting him.

 It's a really small office, less than ten people. Boxie does a good job, works hard, but he's not that bright. Sometimes he fucks up and the guys hurt him. At first it was just small stuff, a slap or something. But he made a big mess last week with some accounts and one of them drew blood.

 I don't know if I'm overreacting. I grew up with a really shitty dad and I guess I'm sensitive to people escalating that kind of thing. Nobody else seems to have a problem with it or thinks he deserves it. Boxie ends up hiding and can't take care of himself. Even if someone helps him they're usually kinda weird about it, making him beg them or stuff.

 I feel like it's going to get worse and worse. The boss beats him up when he's stressed already. He's really helpful normally and I don't want to see him get broken. Is there anything I can do?

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  AUTOMOD 🛡✔ Pinned two hours ago

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 vivaciascar (pet owner) two hours ago

The best thing to do in a situation like this is go to the root cause. Your boxie has got tasks he doesn't know how to do. If he can't handle accounts, don't give him accounts. Let him stick to making coffee. Pets aren't designed for being in work environments without specialist training. You're already straining him with filing. Stop overloading him and the mistakes will stop too.

 somethingboromired (pet owner) two hours ago

This is the answer. He's overloaded and he can't keep up. Your team is putting too much pressure on him and he's buckling, which gets him punished, which makes him tired and hurt, making more mistakes. Remember boxies are fundamentally dumb. They shouldn't be near money and your boss could get in trouble if he lets it happen.

 pm_me_your_salads (wannabe owner) one hour ago

His problem isn't with the mistakes though, he's upset at how the others are punishing the pet. Sounds like reasonable punishment to me though, if he makes a big mistake it should be a big consequence. It's how they're trained and it's how he'll learn.

 ree4ree (pet owner) one hour ago

Jumping on top comment to point out as well that boxie already got punished for his small mistakes and he didn't learn. OP can't see that they are escalating with him because he hasn't shown improvement

 holepunch5309 48 minutes ago OP

He has training for office work and we trained him on the accounts. He does fine 99% of the time but the moment he screws up someone is beating him up. He can't take that from them forever.

 IDontEatCrab (verified handler) two hours ago

I get your concern but that's not your pet. He belongs to the company and the name on the paperwork is your boss. It's his decision what the pet gets and what's right for him. Focus on doing your job.

 Nineteen84 (ex-owner) one hour ago

Don't get fired for a boxie's sake, they're not worth it. They'll sell you up the river for praise. Take it from me.

 holepunch5309 42 minutes ago OP

Is there any way to get his ownership transferred to me or can I do anything for him as part of the company?

 Britbird03 (pet law) two hours ago

It sounds like there's things missing from your account OP. You're worried about escalating punishments, but your boss already beats him. You said in another comment that he's trained for office work, but the only company that does that is Help at Home, and they advise against giving your Boxie paperwork. Is your manager pushing him too hard, or do you have a genuine pet abuse case on your hands? I've advised on those before, please DM me if you need advice.

 holepunch5309 seven minutes ago OP

Thank you, I have

 BigAl69 (pet owner) one hour ago

Boo hoo for your pet. He fucks up, he gets hurt. It's the only way they learn. You're making the classic mistake thinking about him like a person. He's not a person. He's trained to understand orders and pain. He doesn't know anything else. He doesn't need your sympathy

 CoachCheesey (wannabe owner) 39 minutes ago

The problem isn't the punishment the problem is that he's doing accounts. Would you trust a boxie with your money? Why does your boss? Sounds like you need to ask why you're even using him for the jobs your finance team should be doing. Someone's slacking and making the boxie pick it up.

 ree4ree (pet owner) 19 minutes ago

This. Even if a pet is doing data entry or something, the finance team should still be checking what he does like any boss would do for a human employee. Even more so in fact

 cootiesmaster (multiple pets) two hours ago

This is way to vague for us to help with, what even is "drew blood"? Did they break skin on a hit or did they stab him??

 holepunch5309 36 minutes ago OP

I can't be specific because it would identify me. It was a small but deep wound. He's never had anything like that before.

-

holepunch5309 Hi.

Britbird03 Hi OP. Thanks for coming to talk. I'm not a lawyer first of all, so I won't be suing you or reporting you or anything. But I'm a welfare campaigner, and I thought I could give you some advice on what you're seeing.

holepunch5309 Ok. So what…happens?

Britbird03 Why don't you start by telling me what happened in more detail? You've realised that something is wrong, and I want to help you understand why your instincts went off today.

holepunch5309 I guess

holepunch5309 I guess it was just a shock. Not because he got hurt. Is that shitty? I was used to him getting hurt. The boss does beat him. Uses him like a stress toy punching bag. He always picked him up afterwards though, looked after him. Got hi patched upand stuff.

holepunch5309 But today it was like…everyone just left him. He was hiding and crying and he didn't do anything to fix it. I don't know if he even knows how. He was just sitting on the floor crying and I went to help him and nobody else even paid attention. And I guess I just thought…what if they do something worse sometime and I can't fix it for him? He's already got one thing that'll probably scar now.

Britbird03 Thank you for explaining. It sounds as though you're right, and things are escalating. This is the most dangerous time for a boxie. We don't have a disproportionate incident to act on, but we know one is coming.

holepunch5309 Do you think?

Britbird03 I do. It sounds as though your colleagues have been pushing boundaries and daring to see where the line is. None of them are stepping up and making things stop. Of course, you could be that person, but it can be risky to try. You're the one who has seen there's something wrong. You're not okay with what is happening. Your boxie needs someone like you looking out for him.

holepunch5309 Damn

holepunch5309 I hadn't thought about it like that. Thank you.

Britbird03 You're very welcome. There are two options ahead of you. One is safer for him, and the other is safer for you.

holepunch5309 Let me hear it

Britbird03 If you want to guarantee that your boxie won't be hurt anymore, the only way to do so is to liberate him. It is difficult to do legally, I have to warn you, but it is the safest thing for him. You may be saving his life. The alternative is to wait until something provably abusive is done to him, and report it then. But the investigations are slow and the bar you have to clear is very high. Police are very strict about what counts as abusive because of the influence of pet companies. You can do this anonymously, but it might not work to save him. And obviously, along the way, something unquestionably awful has to be done to him to give you the evidence.

holepunch5309 Those are both pretty fucked up options

Britbird03 I'm afraid that's all I can recommend within the limits of the law.

holepunch5309 What do other people do?

Britbird03 Some stay under the radar, bury their conscience, and wait it out. Others intervene, try to prosecute, and more often lose than win. A few take matters into their own hands and smuggle the boxie to a shelter or across the border.

holepunch5309 But that's illegal

Britbird03 It is. I can only imagine they see it as more important than the law. A risk worth taking.

holepunch5309 All that for a boxie. Seems weird.

Britbird03 Often those are people who recognise the human dignity of pets. It's a rare thing and arguably heroic. But as I've said, I can't suggest that. It's safer for you to follow a legal route.

holepunch5309 But

holepunch5309 Not safer for him

Britbird03 No.

-

Tyler leaned back from his laptop with a sigh, his old gaming chair creaking at the movement. The stranger was all facts, as best he could tell, mercilessly concise. The only thing people did that properly worked was liberating or smuggling them. Anything short of that and the problem didn’t go away. Maybe there would be a way to force it to court, sue for ownership or persuade Charlie to let him go, but it would be an uphill battle.

Maybe he’d just make the whole office hate him and get himself driven out of a job. Maybe he’d make things worse for Roman, making them blame him for turning one of their own against the group. Maybe he’d get the poor fucker sent back to be brain-blasted into forgetting everything and getting resold.

He had no idea what he was doing with this. He just knew that Joel stapling Roman in the hand made him feel sick at the pit of his stomach. Finding Ro in the kitchen hyperventilating about it was even worse. He couldn’t get the image out of his head. Roman had been white as a sheet, platinum hair and white shirt only adding to the sallow look of him, hand clutched to his chest with a dark line struck across his hand. The resistance of the skin against the bent metal as he’d tried to work it free with as little pain as possible. Roman’s wide, teary eyes, one brown and the other blue, fixed on him with gratitude. The hitch in his breathing. The way he’d wobbled on his feet. The red.

He would have sat there alone if Tyler hadn’t gone. He would have stayed there.

He was so stupid. He’d just made it worse with the outfit. It had been a joke, but it wasn’t a joke to Ro.

He was so fucking stupid.

He didn’t know what to do.

-

Roman had a little strip band-aid on his hand when Tyler went in the next morning. The little wound was covered up and he seemed more like his usual self. He was sitting on the floor between the desks, sorting out sections of the newspaper along with everyone’s post. He smiled at Tyler when he came by.

“Morning, Ro.”

“Good morning.”

“C’mere a second.”

Roman got up, gathering the unsorted envelopes, and followed Tyler across to his desk. He went to his knees when Tyler sat, setting his stack on his lap.

Tyler glanced around. Dillon wasn’t in yet and Phil was with Charlie. Joel was off on his far side, not yet caffeinated to the point of acknowledging anyone else. Tyler asked, “I got a question for you. I was just wondering if you like it here.”

Roman’s eyes lit up. “I do!” he affirmed brightly. “It’s wonderful here. There’s lots to do every day and I can be helpful for everyone. I’m happy to be helpful.”

Tyler frowned. He’d heard Roman say that a dozen times. He was almost certain it was a trained slogan. “That’s good. Yeah, good stuff. Is here anything that you want to make it better?” If Roman said he didn’t want to be hurt, Tyler would fight for him. That would be the line. If Roman knew what discipline was, what a real punishment felt like, if he’d been trained for that like everyone said – then he would recognise what counted as excessive, right? They wouldn’t train a Box Boy without any self-preservation.

“I…can’t think of anything,” Roman answered after a dutiful pause for thought. “I am happy. I’m sorry that you were worried.”

“Nah, not worried.” He couldn’t let that get back to the others. “Just wanted to make sure you knew you were doing a good job. Mostly. ‘Cause of yesterday, you know. Don’t let it get you down.”

“Thank you, Mr Tyler.” He seemed to be smiling again, but like he couldn’t remember how. He made those expressions sometimes, like he couldn’t just do them instinctively, they were all put on or...trained.

Tyler pretended not to notice.

“You’re a good guy,” he said, hand moving automatically to ruffle the pet’s hair. “Doing a good job.”

[popironrye]

🐥☁️🎀🧸 (just on anon cause I don’t really have a main blog (I do roleplay) and didn’t want to make you uncomfy with that just cause I love reading your stuff! Haha)

Oh, no need to worry! There's not much that will make my uncomfy, I promise. 😊 I like roleplay too. But WOW! Thank you so much! 🥰That means so much to me! ❤️

Since this is technically a self ship post, I'll do Erin and Dwayne (The Lost Boys) since the last question one was with them, but I would love to info dump about any of my ocs, fcs, or sonas if you're interested. 💞 🐥 - how are mornings for you guys? are you groggy and grumpy when you first wake up?

While she may get a little groggy, Erin is a pretty chill person first thing in the morning. Just kinda going about her normal routines. Dwayne is much more on the grumpy side. I imagine as a vampire it's not so much any feeling of tiredness, rather than immense hunger first thing. Like he and the boys need to take at least one person off the town census before they're ready for a night of fun.

☁️ - whats your nighttime routine? is it easy for you guys to fall asleep or does it take awhile? do you have anything you do before bed, like reading or journaling?

It doesn't take too long for Erin to sleep, especially if she's had a hard day. Stomach sleeper all the way, only a couple minutes after hitting the sheets and she's out for the night. Sometimes she has to toss and turn a few times, but usually once she's asleep she'll sleep all night. Dwayne's sleep schedule is like a tight switch. He follows the time of the sunrise to a t and once he's set on it, he's out and he's a very heavy sleeper.

🎀- do you two enjoy dressing up? or would you rather stick with comfier clothes? what are you guy’s favorite outfits?

Erin LOVES dressing up, at least to the best of her abilities. She loves feeling cute with minimal makeup, spinney skirts or dresses, high heels, and all sorts of accessories. She doesn't get the chance to dress up often, so when she does it's all or nothing. Dwayne on the other hand is comfort over style every time. Although there was a time Erin convinced him to wear a white button down with suspenders and black slacks, and the look on her blushing face was worth every moment of it.

🧸 - do either of you have any stuffed animals? how does the other feel about them?

Erin has a few stuffed animals. Mostly cat ones, a couple dogs, a bat cushion, and a purple unicorn from when she was a small child, but her favorites are the sea based ones she has including a giant puffer fish and an octopus. She doesn't sleep with the animals, instead they're on display in a book case where Erin keeps other knick knacks like figurines and desk ornaments. Dwayne doesn't mind them and in fact when Erin gets one to show him, she'll light up in excitement and hug them which he finds very cute. While they're mostly decorative, they're a comfort to Erin, and Dwayne wouldn't risk them getting ruined even a little bit.

I have SO MANY ocs it's actually crazy, and like 99% of ocxcanon ships. I am open to any and all questions for any of them. I'm afraid to talk about them without people asking cause I don't want to annoy anyone, but if there is a specific one you wanna know about, LET ME KNOW. pls :3

[rolandkaros]

idk i just think if the player wants to be complaining about the other player’s attitude after retiring in front of everyone then goes to play doubles just fine is a little too shameless

i really think it just goes back to my point that like. it doesn't really do much to speculate? like congrats, you figured it out, she wasn't actually injured..........iga still won the match...and she'll survive getting criticized about stuff that (aside from the weird insincerity comments) i think is fair for someone to point out. and i don't think that complaining about a player's attitude proves or disproves faking an injury? shameless, maybe, if they actually are faking, but that wasn't really my point anyway

i also don't feel like playing doubles is necessarily proof that it wasn't a real injury. there could have been treatment in that time, or else part of the motivation to retire in singles was so she could keep playing in doubles. and whether or not you consider that a valid reason to retire is neither here nor there, but once again, it all goes back to my point, that accusing someone of faking an injury really does not accomplish anything except risk seeming insensitive, since we really have no idea what's really going on with that particular player.

like, i get you, maybe her behavior wasn't good, like you said, maybe it is shameless, but none of that was ever really part of what i was saying in the tags on that post. i think it's fair to accuse/critique people all day long for making weird comments (e.g. navarro getting roasted for talking smack which i think was very deserved lol). that was what i was meant when i said there are so many things to complain about when it comes to players' gamesmanship. i just feel like injury faking doesn't need to be brought up in that conversation, it just feels unnecessary.

and at the end of the day, if you disagree, that's ok! don't let me tell you what to do or how to act, i just think it's not worth it like 99% to even bother, and i'd rather let players possibly get away with it than accuse an actually injured player of faking (no matter how likely it appears to be that they are). there are usually other things to complain about anyway.

[mwolf0epsilon]

requesting all your bitter thoughts on popular ships if you’re comfortable 👀

Well I'm probably already gonna get crucified by a lot of people in this fandom for pointing out what ships I find uncomfortable, so why not?

I'll talk about my beef about the fandom depiction of those four ships specifically, because they're the ones riling me up the most whenever I go into the tags.

---

Dinluke

I usually don't go anywhere near Mandalorian content (mostly because I haven't watched the show and would like to one day do so at my own pace instead of being pressured into doing so), so finding this ship in tags it doesn't belong to irks me to no end.

I've seen a few bits and pieces that aren't bad, but 90% of the content I've stumbled upon is written or drawn very out of character to the point I'm not sure I'm seeing the characters that are supposedly being depicted.

Trope-heavy fics where Din is aggressive or possessive over Luke are in bad taste, and I hate that a majority of people seems to like this unhealthy and somewhat racist dynamic.

They just honestly don't have any chemistry from what I can tell and the only commonality between them is that they were trying to be there for Grogu in their own way. And then Luke shrugged his shoulders and sent the kid off on his own into an active turf war. That's it.

Bobadin

The fetishisation is strong in this one. Anyone with a twitter account can see what I mean.

It started out as a fairly respectable ship and then it descended into 'fic writing for clout' territory.

You can tell when the author or artist doesn't care much for the characters themselves or their history, and are just putting them in situations where they can be nasty for no reason other than 'this will get me views'.

I have seen some skin crawling content online that really shouldn't have ever spilled out of anyone's brain to ever see the light of day, and no I will not put myself through explaining someone else's weird S&M fetish.

Foxiyo

Gateway ship. It's like Rexsoka, but with a vague cover of legality behind it, because supposedly Riyo Chuchi is a consenting adult.

The most prevalent dynamics depicting this ship are often disrespectful towards Fox and other clones (sometimes infantilising, other times hypersexualising), plus Riyo is written in a way that makes her seem less like an adult and more like a naive child.

Major red flags on this one.

Codywan

A ship that works if written well and respectfully, which is tragically not the case for 99% of times.

Writing Obi-wan as the perfect man with a savior complex that can do no wrong, while Cody is just his basic trophy husband with no personality or skills is... Yikes...

Lets not even talk about all the fetish stuff that goes unchecked half the time. I have seen too much that honest to god rubs me the wrong way.

They say sparsity of actual good content should make it worth more, but in this case I feel like the less good Codywan stuff there is, the more badly written content crops up to fill the void...

[quartings]

Just some thoughts on “Open-Mindedness” …

There might be a more accurate psychology term for what I’m trying to describe, but I’ll try and sum it up here as best I can.

Lately I’ve realized that a mental trap most people get themselves into is building up preconceptions of things and letting them act as a sort of “negativity filter” forever. Like everything that comes from a bad person/show/movie/group has to be bad, instead of acknowledging that bad things can all range from say, 0% good to 49% good (Just simplifying for clarity, this isn’t exact math of course) Because it’s simpler and easier to say all bad things are 100% bad- and because sometimes we’re worried other people will hate us if we say anything positive about a bad thing, even if it’s true.

To provide a much less confusing example, let’s use CinemaSins. On the surface, there’s nothing wrong with criticizing the bad parts of movies and stories. Feedback and criticism is a good part of helping storytellers improve, after all. The real problem comes from the fact that sinning movies is their business.

This means that in order to make money and survive, the people behind the channel have to constantly be looking for bad movies to critique, or more importantly, good movies to find flaws in. And regardless of whether the criticism is good content for their audience, having that mindset all the time probably isn’t great for the channel owners. They HAVE to reach a certain sin quota per movie so the video is long enough, and each flaw is usually worth 1 sin, no matter how big or small. The movie saying child abuse is good is worth 1 sin, but also a character’s socks changing color between scenes is also worth 1 sin. If they stop hating things, they run out of content to make money off, so they HAVE to keep hating things forever or else. And I do feel kind of bad for them because of that.

So, because no movie is perfect, even if someone watches a fantastic movie with a CinemaSins mentality, they’re going to find small flaws (or even good things that could be better) that will lower their enjoyment of their things. This isn’t to say that the flaws don’t exist, of course they still do. Just that the flaws aren’t worth being upset over.

And so, I’ve noticed that having this kind of mentality for simple things can risk it bleeding through into big things as well. People who aren’t racist/sexist/etc can still discriminate just as badly based on other stereotypes and preconceptions because of this. Being a jerk to someone because they like pineapple on pizza can be just as bad if not worse than racism depending on how harshly the discriminator acts on their beliefs. (To clarify, I don’t like pineapple on pizza) I will admit I have been and still kinda am guilty of stuff like this, too.

Essentially, you run the risk of becoming that kind of tiger parent who freaks out at their kid for getting 99% on a test because of that missing 1%.

It’s really hard to address this issue because oftentimes it sounds like a whole lot of “Just think positively and you’ll be happier!” which is NOT what I’m trying to say at all, don’t worry. As a kid, whenever something bad happened to me, certain adults would say “Don’t be sad! Try to find something positive about this tragedy and be happy about it!” Which would never work at all, because you can’t magically fully convert a bad thing into a good thing with positive thinking. Positive thinking can’t really counter chronic major problems like illnesses, abuse, or climate anxiety. The tips I’m about to suggest are only meant to remedy minor problems.

First, if you’re ever feeling annoyed or anxious about something- just take a break. Hating it won’t make it go away, it’ll still be there for you to hate when you come back from your break. Arguing with people, online or in real life, won’t make it go away either. That doesn’t mean it’s not bad, just that putting in extra energy to hate isn’t worth it. For example, imagine if I dedicated all future posts on this blog to hating on the people who cancelled Bionicle twice, instead of posting art and animations. Do those people deserve that much hatred? Yes and more, actually! But unless I magically gain the power to painfully disintegrate all of them at once, hating them isn’t going to make anyone’s lives better, especially not for you guys, who would probably prefer if I spent my time on more productive things instead.

Second, it can also be helpful to take a step back and think about WHY exactly you love or hate a thing. Is it consistent with your other preferences? You’d be surprised at how many people there are out there who say things like “I hate musicals because characters who stop to sing are unrealistic, and also my favorite movie is (movie that has musical numbers in it)” or “I hate CGI, it always looks so fake. Also my favorite movie is (movie with tons of good un-noticeable CGI)”

Finally, and this is a little harder to do, is to take the energy from hating bad things and channel it not into liking bad things, but liking good things. Sing praises of things you love without putting other things down! Is there an underrated thing in your life you wish more people knew about? Let everyone know how much you like it and why you like it! Here’s one for me- I only discovered tres leches cake last year, and now it’s my favorite kind of cake. I can’t believe I’ve never heard anyone talk about it for most of my life, it’s amazing! Literally cake marinated in icing!

Is there something you love from many years ago that you forgot about until now? Revisit it and take a fun nostalgic trip down memory lane! For me, I’ve recently dived down the Animorphs rabbit hole again- man that was such a good book series.

But yeah, I hope this has helped some of you with anything you may be dealing with! I was inspired to make this because I recently met an unbelievably positive and kind person, and wanted to try my hand at passing some of that along! Thanks for reading this far!

[soundorp]

How to Grow My Audience on YouTube?

New on YouTube?? Get ready to get disappointed. Any seasoned content creator knows, Growing an audience on YouTube takes time, dedication, and a strategic approach, And if you can’t trust the process, We are done.

Now you can do some incredibly exceptional stuffs and that might blow the internet by itself, but the rest 99% are not them. So Welcome. For the others like you and me, The question isn’t can you build an audience on YouTube, the question is… is it worth it?

I have a marketing background and believe me that I know all the benefits of having an audience. But, in my opinion, if you focus on building an audience you’re probably going to spend a lot of time and energy working on it.

The problem is that it takes time. And to be honest, once you start to get better at your craft, you see that people with relatively big audiences don’t know that much. And the ones who do know are busy doing the work. (I’m aware there are exceptions, and I follow their work.)

Let’s get deeper:

Proven Strategies for Growth

Now that we’ve gained some insights into the YouTube landscape, let’s delve into actionable strategies for growing your audience:

1. Leverage Guest Collaborations

Collaborating with known guests can significantly boost engagement and credibility for your channel. Whether it’s inviting industry experts, celebrities, or fellow creators onto your show, guest appearances can attract new viewers and enhance your content’s value.

2. Optimize The First Impression

Thumbnails

Your thumbnail and title are your first impressions on YouTube. Make sure they accurately represent your content and entice viewers to click. Clearly indicating that your content is a podcast in the thumbnail can help manage viewer expectations and reduce drop-off rates.

Thumbnails should “pop out” with high contrast and bright colors. Thumbnails don’t need to repeat what is already said in the title. Text in thumbnails should be minimal. If it takes longer than half a second to read, its too much text. They already read the title, they don’t need to read another one. However a small amount of text (no more than 3-4 words) can help tell the story of your thumbnail.

Human faces in thumbnails are always good, especially if they are making expressive faces. Use up as much space in the thumbnail as you can, but don’t make it “busy”. It should very easy to instantly tell what is going on in the thumbnail. Keep in mind people usually see thumbnails at very small sizes, so they should still be clear at that size. My personal way of thinking about thumbnails is “Here is a visual example or representation of what I mentioned in the title.” But that’s just one way of looking at it. But, it’s an art just as much as it is a science.

Titles

Titles should be short, simple, and accessible. It shouldn’t be too specific/esoteric, but still should be something interesting that someone will click on. “Dark Souls Playthrough Part 1” is a bad title–there are a million Dark Souls playthroughs, why would anybody click on that? But something like “I Beat Dark Souls with Only a Shield” is both a better idea and a better title. It is an intriguing topic that people might actually want to see. “Why Greg Oden Didn’t Make it in the NBA” is an ok title, but a lot of people don’t know who Greg Oden is, even people that are NBA fans. A better title is something like “The Biggest NBA Draft Bust of All Time.” People don’t have to know anything specific to find that interesting.

The title should send the message “There is something really interesting/informative/funny/awesome in this video that you should watch!”

3. Craft nice Introductions

The initial few seconds of your video are crucial for capturing viewers’ attention. Craft engaging introductions that hook your audience from the get-go. Whether it’s a captivating question, intriguing statement, or compelling visual, make sure to grab viewers’ interest early on.

4. Focus on Coherent Descriptions

In addition to captivating thumbnails and titles, pay close attention to your video descriptions. Keywords. Use them wisely in your titles and tags to help the right viewers find you.

Don’t forget to share your work across other platforms, too. Each social media space has its own vibe, so tailor those teasers to fit. I’ve been using Boost App Social to nail down content ideas that hit the mark.

The first few seconds of your video are crucial, too. You gotta give viewers a reason to stick around.

Ensure they provide context, keywords, and relevant information about your content. Coherent descriptions can improve searchability and attract organic traffic to your videos.

5. Embrace Authentic Engagement

Building a loyal audience requires genuine engagement with your viewers. Respond to comments, ask for feedback, and foster a sense of community around your channel. Authentic interactions can turn casual viewers into dedicated fans who eagerly await your next upload.

Since we are Human Beings, Despite all these, one might face many Challenges and Pitfalls. I have discussed about it in my Article. Read the Full Article by Clicking Here.

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

Your brother is a cunt. Period. You don't need his validation and you never do. I get you have to navigate carefully financially but in terms of earning his good opinion, no. You don't have to. Be polite, shrug off his shit but know your worth. We are all internet strangers here but you have my admiration for dealing with what you do on the daily. Life is getting harder and harder for those on the ground up. You're not alone in struggling. But I think you're a fair person who works her butt off and is hugely creative. You're also kind. You're practical too. Yeah you have faults but we all do. I just think you're a good egg in a bad situation. Your brother is a fucking idiot to not appreciate he's got good family. The next time he talks out of his ass, just you let it go in one ear and out the other.

I appreciate this so much!

I do realize he will never like anything I do or say. It’s not so much his lack of approval as his continual hostility that gets me. I also admit the unfairness of his assumptions about me do wound me deeply. Mostly though, while I don’t need him to love me or even acknowledge the things I do, his judgement can have serious repercussions.

I am in a very precarious situation. Mom lives with him. He has power of attorney for her. Meanwhile I legally own nothing. The houses belong to Mom. The vehicles belong to Mom. I am responsible for taking care of them all, but with no allowance for it so all expenses involved come out of my $1000 a month. And that money is tied in with Mom in such a way that, though he has vowed to never interfere with it, he very possibly could. He’s an intensely mercurial person with an underlying constant rage waiting to emerge, usually focalized around me (because I’ve always been his “punching bag”)**.

Basically, he could very easily feel provoked or resentful*** to the point of “punishing” me. That could be disastrous in ways I don’t dare think about right now.

You know, it’s why I NEVER ask for his help and tell him as little as possible about my troubles. It makes him angry. Well, not wanting to piss him off is part of it, knowing he would be utterly unsympathetic, tell me a deserved my problems, and that he wouldn’t help to “teach” me a “ lesson” might have something to do with it too! LOL It’s just less stress to be alone.

Actually, when he threw me out of his house in 2012 it was almost a relief. I felt sorry for my parents having to go without me to work on my brother’s house extension (which he is STILL angry Pop died before finishing), and Christmas in a hotel room alone while my parents would visit them was painful. Still, it spared me the incredible anxiety I felt around him, where I walked on eggshells constantly and trembled at the sound of him driving up. It wasn’t until after Pop died and Mom had her stroke, when I suddenly found myself having to deal with him directly, with no buffer, that it all got horrible again. Just hearing his voice on the phone now makes my chest hurt!

After I made that post this afternoon more stuff happened, and I best not go into most of it. Stress. Problems. Things to deal with I’m not set up for. Too much stuff.

But on top of it all tonight they (bro and SIL) have demanded I produce a paper that I’m 99% sure I mailed to them over a year ago. I can’t seem to find it, and there is a high likelihood that the storage container it would have the best chance of being in I packed away just two days ago. And it’s in a place is would take another two days to get back out to look, then another two days to put it all back again! Telling them this tomorrow is almost certain to cause another explosion and ranting about my incompetence, which I don’t feel up to.

**sigh**

I wish I could shut off my emotions. I envy people that go numb or can at least feign being cool about everything. All my life my emotions have felt like a wound with a scab that’s easily knocked off. Point a loaded gun at me or put me in a car wreck and I am the most calm and collected person you have ever met, but dealing with people devastates me.

Trouble is, I’m not in a strong position to deal with anything right now. Emotionally I’ve been a raw mess. Physically I’m a wreck. Even financially I’m about as bad off as I’ve been. It feels like being kicked while I’m down. Repeatedly. With steel toed boots.

**Poor Mom and Pop never knew what to do about someone so hyper sensitive and aggressively angry. As a little boy he was incredibly sweet, but the abusiveness of his school experience twisted him all up. And he blamed me, as in in going “I am suffering, she isn’t suffering, so I hate her” while conveniently blind to my own suffering because it didn’t manifest the way his did. Our parents would tell me he simply hated me because I existed, that he had no right to feel that way (esp. since I am his older sister!) , and that I couldn’t fix it since it was all in his head. They were upset, but as helpless as I was at dealing with it.

***he sees me as “cheating” at life and undeservedly popular…yes, REALLY. Any time he thinks I have a friend it makes him disgusted, and he actually imagines I have lots of friends!)