#3x06 torn

[allatariel]

The Battlestar Galactica Complete Series blu-ray set contains seven additional deleted scenes that are only available through the C.M.A. Colonial Military Assessment quiz on disc 5 of Season 3. You must answer the ten questions correctly in order to see one randomly selected scene. The questions are also randomly selected each time you take the quiz and appear to pull from a pool of roughly thirty questions.

Here's a list of the seven additional deleted scenes:

From 3x06 "Torn" - 2:52 - Extended Scene - Caprica Six takes Gaius Baltar to see the hybrid before he goes to the infected baseship.

From 3x07 "A Measure of Salvation" - 2:14 - Deleted Scene - Athena flies recon with the Admiral through the disabled Cylon raiders around the infected baseship.

From 3x10 "The Passage" - 6:01 - Deleted (2) and Extended (1) Scenes - Post outbound trip 1 focusing on Kat - Kat wanders through the civilians on the starboard hangar deck - Kat brings food to Enzo.

From 3x10 "The Passage" - 4:04 - Deleted Scene - Laura Roslin gives an address over the wireless, updating the Fleet on the transit to the algae planet.

From 3x13 "Taking a Break from All Your Worries" - 2:39 - Extended Scene - Apollo and Starbuck review potential pilot candidates and discuss their relationship.

From 3x17 "Maelstrom" - 1:52 - Deleted Scene - Starbuck is spooked and lies about a warning light while flying CAP.

From 3x17 "Maelstrom" - 1:09 - Extended Scene - Starbuck sees Kat on her wing before she flies into the hard deck.

[allatariel]

I can confirm that the scene in question is one of the seven additional deleted scenes available through the C.M.A. Colonial Military Assessment quiz on disc 5 of Season 3 of the Complete Series blu-ray set. You must answer the ten questions correctly in order to see one randomly selected scene. The questions are randomly selected each time you take the quiz and appear to pull from a pool of roughly thirty questions.

Here's a list of the seven additional deleted scenes:

From 3x06 Torn - 2:52 - Extended Scene - Caprica Six takes Gaius Baltar to see the hybrid before he goes to the infected baseship.

From 3x07 A Measure of Salvation - 2:14 - Deleted Scene - Athena flies recon with the Admiral through the disabled Cylon raiders around the infected baseship.

From 3x10 The Passage - 6:01 - Deleted (2) and Extended (1) Scenes - Post outbound trip 1 focusing on Kat - Kat wanders through the civilians on the starboard hangar deck - Kat brings food to Enzo.

From 3x10 The Passage - 4:04 - Deleted Scene - Laura Roslin gives an address over the wireless, updating the Fleet on the transit to the algae planet.

From 3x13 Taking a Break from All Your Worries - 2:39 - Extended Scene - Apollo and Starbuck review potential pilot candidates and discuss their relationship.

From 3x17 Maelstrom - 1:52 - Deleted Scene - Starbuck is spooked and lies about a warning light while flying CAP.

From 3x17 Maelstrom - 1:09 - Extended Scene - Starbuck sees Kat on her wing before she flies into the hard deck.

y'all know that lee/kara scene in taking a break from all your worries where kara asks lee if he'd leave dee if she left sam? and you know how there's an extended cut of that scene? yeah, so it's not only absent from the dvd special features, but i can't seem to find any information about it anywhere

does anyone know what's the lore here, by any chance?

[all-eyes-lead-to-the-truth]

All Eyes Lead to the Truth | 2Shy (3x06)

Trigger warnings: weight, eating disorders, disordered eating, diet

Her sister told her that happy people didn’t seek out companionship over the internet. Lauren was pretty sure the insinuation was that she shouldn’t be doing it, but that was based on the misguided assumption she was a happy person. 

She wanted to be happy, but what she wanted never seemed to matter.

Lauren wanted to be loved. She wanted to be pretty. She wanted to be skinny.

No— she wanted to be those things without having to be skinny.

Her weight had fluctuated her whole life, and she’d done everything she could to manage it. The Ornish Diet, Atkins, South Beach, Sugar Busters, FenPhen, shoving her fingers down her throat, substituting food for nicotine, for air… she’d tried everything.

When she thought of significant moments in her life, the first thing she thought of was her weight. She couldn’t recall what songs played at homecoming, but she could remember she felt like she was going to faint. She wasn’t sure if she told Grandma she loved her during the final visit; she could only remember her embarrassment when Grandma’s hands touched her back fat when they hugged.

At her lowest, she was miserable because of all the restrictions she was putting herself through. At her highest, she was miserable because she’d let herself down.

Sometimes she thought it would be easier to just accept her bigger body. She saw the feminists in her undergrad classes brandish their armpit hair and makeup-less faces like badges of honor, and she wanted to be that confident too. She wanted to hold all the parts of herself that took up extra room, the parts adorned with stretchmarks and dimples, and say “take it or leave it!”

Only, she couldn’t bear the hurt that came when everyone chose to ‘leave it’.

She didn’t want that to be the truth. Every body is created differently, and hers didn’t deserve to be loved any less because she carried her mom’s cooking with her or because the wine she enjoyed with her friends stayed on her thighs. Jennifer said there was more of her to love, but it seemed most men saw the extra weight as a burden they’d have to bear. 

Lauren joined the Big and Beautiful chat room because the men who instigated a conversation with her there already knew she was bigger. She couldn’t handle the idea of putting herself out there only to be met with stares of disgust when they saw her body. Well, if they saw her at all, that is. The last few dates she went on, she watched the men walk in and scan the crowd for their date, their gazes passing over her like a chill. It was as if their minds couldn’t even see her as an option, she was just a large body in the periphery. 

A pretty face doesn’t mean much when the rest of you is invisible.

Unfortunately, for a while, it seemed joining Big and Beautiful was a bit of an… overcorrection in the wrong direction.

SITONME > How big r u? 

LOOKING4BBW > Hey, did u open the image attachment? Like what u see?

SPRINGSTEENFAN > ASL?

The messages made her feel dirty. She wanted the men to appreciate her body, not fetishize it. Lauren was used to her personality being her redeeming factor, but these men didn’t seem to care to know her. 

Well, until 2SHY.

2SHY > Hello, Friend. What brings you to the Big and Beautiful chatroom? (35, M, Cleveland.)

After a few days, she began logging in only for him. His words were kind, and she desperately wanted to believe they were true. She felt torn between the desire to stay positive and her need for self-preservation. She could never quite tune out the voice in her head that screamed he was lying. Sometimes she felt like if she approached these things on the defense, when they inevitably found her repulsive, it would hurt less because she knew it was coming — they felt the same way about her that she did. 

What did it say about her that if a man showed interest in her, she couldn’t help but wonder what was wrong with him? Why was someone liking her a flaw?

Why was she so focused on protecting herself from other people when it was her own thoughts that hurt the most?

Despite her fears, he was perfect. For the first time in her life, Lauren felt what it was like to really be wanted. Not wanted for a body she had to kill herself to maintain, but for what she had to offer. It meant so much to her that she’d been putting off meeting with him out of fear she’d disappoint him.

2SHY > You have no idea how beautiful I think you are. I must confess… I feel inextricably drawn to you. I can’t stop thinking about what you said the other day… You don’t deserve to feel lonely, Lauren.

2SHY > I don’t want you to feel pressured. The company of your words alone warms me like an embrace. You’ve made me feel more worthy of love than I’ve ever felt before… to ask for more seems an insult to the immeasurable joy you’ve given me these past three months. But, I’d be lying to you if I denied how much my arms ache from the desire to hold you… and I could never lie to you, Lauren. Give me a chance. The Watermark Restaurant on Old River Road. 6 o’clock on Friday. I’ll be wearing a denim button-up and a hopeful expression.

FRIEND > _

Lauren exhaled slowly as she stared at the blinking space, anxiety creeping up her neck as she whispered her affirmations to herself. I am worthy of love. I am a nice person. I deserve to be happy. She gripped the four-leaf clover pendant on her necklace, indulging in the moment as she wished for the charm to imbue her with luck. Things will be different this time.

FRIEND > Sounds like a date.

Read all the chapters of All Eyes Lead to the Truth on Ao3!

@gaycrouton

[blue-mint-winter]

BSG 3x06 Torn rewatch

The race to find Earth begins! Now Cylons also want to live there.

I like how this continues the parallel travel of the two sides. They’ve given up on war for now, but their end goal is the same so they are bound to bump into each other, especially since they’re using the same hints in their search.

Gaius is still on shaky ground with Cylons, he has to prove himself to them. First, he tells them all he knows about directions to Earth - the pulsar and lion nebula.

On their side, humans have Gaeta interpreting Gaius’ notes.

Turns out Gaius had worked on finding Earth a lot because he actually wanted to get there. When did he have time? When he was the president? Before?

The PIANO in this episode, OMG, it’s so good.

Cylons send a baseship to scout the lion nebula, but Cylons there get infected. Cylons are afraid that if those infected die and download the disease will spread to the rest of their fleet.

Logically Gaius is the only choice and he volunteers to go there and investigate the situation. BUT! Gaius now thinks he might be one of the Final Five. Bt he doesn’t get infected so it’s alright. He is human.

This episode really expands on the Cylon lore. Head Six tells Gaius to learn as much as he can about Cylons and through him the audience gets the look at the life on the baseship. We get the first mention of the Final Five, the first look at the hybrid and we learn about Cylon projection. No wonder some of them are crackpots coughLeobencough.

Gaius finds the ancient probe on the infected ship, it’s the source of the disease. He also tries to help a black-haired Six, but she accuses him of knowingly sending them there so they would die and he strangles her. Was that expression of his inner frustration with Caprica Six???

Interesting that Gaius lies to the Cylons that he didn’t find the cause of the disease. Caprica Six knows about the lie because she looked through the pictures he took. I don’t remember those episodes that well, but I don’t think she will tell the rest.

Rescue or run? That’s a reason for a big argument between Cylons. The hybrid doesn’t want to go, but they don’t give her the right to vote. Looks unfair if you ask me. Is she just a driver to them?

And then Galactica’s raptor with Racetrack and Athena finds the baseship. Oh boy. The humans just found a WMD against Cylons.

On Galactica, Tigh and Kara form a league of malcontents together in the rec room and destroy pilot’s morale with their crap. They’re both still hurting from NC. Also, Tigh is bitter because Helo “Cylon lover” is the XO and Kara got grounded by Apollo because of reckless piloting that damaged her Viper.

In the end, Adama himself comes to set them straight. There’s no coddling from the old man, but it works.

Symbolic hair-cutting! And Kara comes to see Kacey and her mom, who she bitterly rejected contact with before. She chose a road to healing.

Tigh is still in the bottle, but now he’s crying over Ellen. Also, that scene when he though he heard and saw Ellen in the hallways but it turned out to be a different woman was so emotionally impactful.

Best news is that Lee got back in shape! That was fast.

Sharon’s callsign is Athena which is way better than Robopilot or Toaster LOL.

[trickster-archangel]

All of the above, and even more. I've observed Steve's hugs for a while, and even if the vice grip he has on Danny's neck, or Danny's shoulder, or Danny's nape, are exclusively a Danny thing, the way he hugs people he loves (his ohana, his sister, his close friends like Nick) it's identical: grabbing tight the other person, enfolding them tightly like they are a lifeline, and holding still. No back-slaps, no bro-hugs, no dissipation whatsoever, like you see Danny, Nick or even Chin doing, and thinking about the extremely toxic environment Steve's been raised in, and his line of work, it's kind of a puzzle. You'd expect him to go for the same no-homo, we're-dudes-we're-not-sensitive-chicks rough, quick, safe back-slaps. But he doesn't.

Hugging people with his full heart is probably the only weakness Steve allows himself beside all of the Danny-touching he indulges into. He lets his true, soft, affectionate, touch-starved, intimacy-craving soul bleed through and be exposed.

When he hugs Danny, especially here, but blatantly after the bomb is defused in 3x06, or even after the rescue in 4x19, it's when he breaks down and risks more to uncover all of himself. That's the effect Danny, and the love he feels for Danny, and the knowledge he has that he'll never have Danny the way he wants to (because Danny went back to Rachel, so Steve went back to Cath to stop his heart from being torn apart, and then Danny found Gabby and why should Steve said anything even when he left her? and then Cath left but Danny had Amber, so...why should he believe life can allow him to have what he craves, since he's been trained not to have and not to crave?), and the dread he feels running like ice through his veins when he thinks he has no claims over Danny and he can't prevent him from taking off and going away, all together have on him.

Steve's face falls apart every time he's safely ensconced in the safe cover of Danny's shoulder and head, because he cannot let his own heart fall apart more than it's already done. It's his own personal equivalent of crying in the darkness where no one can see or hear him.

This is what happens anytime he must remind himself, once more, that every hug could be the last, and yet every hug is not the kind of he wants to envelope him into. Danny is not his to have, nor to keep. And it breaks him apart. So, let him cling to Danny for as long as he can, how tightly as he wants to, how desperately as he needs to, cradle his head close to his pulse point just like he'd want to cradle his heart and life in his hands, hide him away from the world, and keep him safe and his.

Let him have Danny, even if just for the short breath of a hug.

the face of someone who came so close to losing everything. initially i thought 'how nice that we got a happy celebration hug instead of the previous danny-just-nearly-died hugs', but then I realised that, for steve? it was both a celebration AND a near-death experience, because if danny had lost the custody battle he would have likely followed grace to vegas and steve would have lost them both. there's a reason he always reacts like someone stabbed him in the heart when danny expresses how he doesn't like hawaii, because at this point without grace and danny, it's not home for steve.

naturally, steve doesn't want to cast any shadows on the celebration with his personal angst (this victory isn't about him), which is why he only lets his façade crack when danny can't see. if he holds onto his partner's neck for dear life that's a little indulgence he can't resist.

[cooper--jones]

maybe this time, for the first time,                            love won’t hurry away.

[karlcagathon]

Battlestar Galactica 3x06 - Torn

[bravemikhailo]

ok so since I’ve been having a little breakdown over here since yesterday about mickey and more specifically 4x11... this is the product of said little breakdown—a follow-up to 4x11′s events, ergo mickey’s coming out and the fight with terry

content warnings: blood; allusions to 3x06 and past physical and sexual abuse, but nothing detailed nor explicit

read below or on ao3

- - -

The walk home is silent. 

The road is lit only by the street lamps, which cast an eerie glow on the barely standing houses lining up the street. The quiet is interrupted only by the sporadic passing of the L in the distance, growing closer and louder as they stumble forward. 

Ian’s holding up a hand to his ribs, beaten and throbbing, a surge of pain hitting him straight in the chest at every step he takes. He doesn’t care about that, not right now. It doesn’t concern him that much. He’s had his fair share of broken noses and arms and legs over the years. 

What concerns him is the boy slowly dragging his feet beside him, his head hanging low from his neck, staying a bit behind him. Not much, just one or two feet.

He doesn’t say anything. He hasn’t said anything since they left the Alibi, and Ian doesn’t even think of pressing him into doing so. 

He lets him hiss in pain under his breath, spit his blood on the ground. 

He waits for him when his steps get slower. 

But they don’t talk. 

Ian’s silently glad for the quiet, for the sharp pain he vividly feels inside his chest. It distracts him from the guilt his heart seems to be sinking into right now. 

He shouldn’t have done what he did, he shouldn’t have pushed. He should have waited for Mickey. He should have let him figure it out, be actually ready for a step like this. 

He should have squeezed his arm and sent a reassuring smile his way. He should have waited for him at the Gallagher house. 

He shouldn’t have let it get so personal. He should have ignored Terry’s fucking grin. Her’s. 

But it is personal. It has always been personal. That’s the boy who owns his entire heart. 

Guilt engulfs him, but there’s also something else in there. 

Love, in his heart, his bones. All the way down to his toes, freezing in his worn out boots.

He feels so much love right now, he’s floating in it. It overwhelms him so much he feels he could float up into the sky and join the stars, invisible in the fume-filled air of the city.

Love for this boy who’s been in his heart since that very first time in his messy bedroom. Guns and tire irons and kiss me and I’ll cut your fucking tongue out. 

Gut wrenching pain for this boy who’s been torn away from him in the most horrible way, by the most horrible man. 

Pride for the man he’s becoming, strong and brave and beautiful. The man who came back to him, kissed him in a room full of people. Chose him over her. 

It’s a while before he notices the very clear absence behind him. That the dragged steps following him have ceased. 

He turns around. 

Mickey’s standing on the sidewalk, a nearby lamp flooding his bloodied face with a faint orange glow. 

Ian can’t help but think he’s beautiful, even when his face is cut and bruised and the blood has dried up all over his features. 

He takes a couple of steps closer, and that’s when he realises Mickey has come to a halt in front of his house. The Milkovich house. 

He doesn’t look up, nor does he utter any word. He just stands there, his shoulders slumped and his head low. He has his bottom lip trapped between his teeth, fiddles wildly with his fingers. 

His bloody lips are furrowed in a scowl, and when Ian gets close enough that he could touch him if he only raised up a hand, he hears him taking deep laboured breaths. 

It might be a lot of things. His nose might be broken. Or perhaps he just wants to cry. 

Maybe both. 

Ian’s heart hurts for him, it scrambles inside of his ribcage. A lump forms in his throat and the guilt reappears, stinging behind his eyes. 

He swallows it down. Stumbles to the gate. It creaks when he opens it, the sound way more pronounced in the stillness of the night. 

When he holds out a hand for Mickey to take, the boy he loves so much looks up at him for the first time since they’ve left the alibi. His eyes are wide and puffy, a bruise already forming on his temple. There’s a lot of emotions in there—pain, fear, relief maybe. Ian hopes so. 

Mickey takes his hand, laces their fingers together. He squeezes lightly, clearly too tired and sore to try a harder grip, but it soothes Ian’s heart nonetheless. 

---

Their swollen lips meet in a soft and gentle kiss in the gloominess of Mickey’s room. The house is silent, no one seemingly having gotten back from the party yet.

Their kisses—sloppy and tired—resonate in the stillness, the smacking sound loud every time they pull apart and then dive right back in. Ian reaches up his hands, presses them on Mickey’s cheeks, softly, careful not to hurt him. He holds his head and closes his eyes, losing himself completely in the taste of Mickey’s wet lips on his own. 

They taste of alcohol, of cigarettes and freedom. 

They suck and lick gently, inside each other’s mouths, their feet swaying from side to side, two pairs of hands roaming over each other’s bodies, the touch feather-light, desperately clinging to one another. They work slowly, get heavy coats out of the way, untuck shirts, rub at fuzzy bellies, unbutton belts. They caress, warm up the skin, say things their mouths aren’t capable of letting out just yet. 

Then suddenly Mickey pulls away, and Ian doesn’t even have the chance to look him in the eyes when he nuzzles his head in Ian’s neck, his arms coming to rest around his waist, holding him tight. Ian’s move on autopilot and settle around Mickey’s neck. 

He hears him take a deep breath, his belly shaking against Ian’s, then a puff of hot air hits him on the neck. His ears don’t miss it when Mickey swallows, hard, a big lump clogging his throat. 

Ian leans down, puts his lips on Mickey’s head, his disheveled hair, sticking up in every direction, grazing his cheeks. He runs his hand on his shoulder blades, rubs, scratches lightly with his fingernails. 

He kisses him, closes his eyes and breathes him in, presses his cheek to his hair before straightening up and bringing his hands to palm at Mickey’s cheeks again. 

When Mickey looks up, his shiny and dark eyes make Ian’s heart hurt all over again. 

He exhales, runs a hand through soft black hair, and smooths it back. He rubs a thumb in little circles on his cheek, his voice just a whisper, surprisingly choked, only for the two of them to hear when he says, “I’m sorry.” 

He swears he sees Mickey’s eyes darken even more, but when he opens his mouth to continue, to explain, Mickey doesn’t let him, his head shooting up and his lips trapping Ian’s again, gentle but firm.

One of Mickey’s hands curls and grips his shirt on Ian’s back, the other comes up to his neck, warm and soft. Ian nods against his warm mouth. 

When Mickey flinches because of a cut on his lip, Ian leaves him in his room and stumbles the couple of steps to the bathroom in search for a washcloth to scrub away their blood with.

He finds an old blue one that’ll have to do hanging over the edge of the tub and wets it under the tap. 

Mickey’s moved to the bed when Ian comes back, but he’s not sitting on it or laying down. The comforter is in his hands, and he turns it frantically from one side to the other, then upside down, until he finds the buttons at the bottom and starts tugging at them.

The washcloth falls to the floor as Ian closes the distance that separates him from Mickey. He finds himself at his side, taking his hands and squeezing them, letting the comforter fall back on the bed. 

Mickey’s head hangs low, and his hands shake, so Ian squeezes harder, then rubs his hands on Mickey’s arms, up to his neck where he settles them, forcing Mickey to look up. His eyes are wide open, puffy, and blinking furiously, pupils blown and darting all over. Ian tightens his grip. 

“What’s wrong?” He asks, taken aback by how groggy yet panicked his own voice sounds. 

Mickey looks at the bed, waves a trembling hand in its direction. He lets out a series of shaky breaths before any words even come out, and when they do, Ian swears he can feel his heart breaking in a million pieces, eyes watering, and the distinct and uncomfortable sensation of bile rising up to his throat. 

“She… she—“ it’s all Mickey manages to mutter, but it’s enough for Ian to understand. To make his skin crawl. 

When their eyes lock again, Ian notices moisture pooling on Mickey’s lashes. He’s still fumbling for words, words that so clearly are too painful for him to let out. 

Ian thumbs his cheeks, runs his index finger along his plump lips.

“It’s okay.” He soothes. He leans down to quickly peck his lips. “I know. She’s not here, though.” He gets his arms around Mickey again, and he’s relieved when he comes willingly. He can feel Mickey’s heart thumping wildly through his shirt. It matches the fierce beat of his own. 

He kisses his temple, feather-light lips against swollen bruises. “She’ll never be again.” 

Ian takes it upon himself to strip the bed Mickey was forced to share with a stranger for so long, if only he can help him carry the weight of it all, so he knows he doesn’t have to do it on his own, alone. Because he is not alone. 

So he throws the sheets into the hallway for now. They have time to think about it. 

For now, though, they’ll shed their clothes, they’ll take care of each other’s scars. Lips will kiss wounds and bruises and fingers will lock together. They’ll climb in bed and lay on the bare mattress, holding each other close. They’ll kiss and they’ll cry and they’ll make love. They’ll laugh all night and then they’ll fall asleep, a mess of limbs, for the first time. Free. At last.

[daughterofluthien]

External Resolution to Internal Conflict

Written for @teenwolf-meta‘s meta week, Day 3, Close Read 

(tw for discussions of suicide and suicidal ideation)

[note: all transcript excerpts in this post have been taken from this wiki’s transcripts. Also, thank you to @momentofmemory for the beta and helping me trim down this monster, as it was originally over 3K.]

The External Enemy

Ostensibly, the thing that Scott is fighting in the final act of the series is the Anuk-ite. It’s a creature whose main weapon is fear—it both creates fear in its enemies, and weaponizes people’s pre-existing fears against them.

As a result, his final confrontation with the Anuk-ite in The Wolves of War (6x20) provides an excellent opportunity to both conclude the plot of the season, and provide a resolution Scott’s character arc, and the suicidal ideation he has struggled with since the start of the series.

We see the effect of the Anuk-ite’s presence first in The Spider and the Fly (6x11): entire colonies and rats and packs of wolves have torn each other to shreds out of fear. And then, slowly, that fear starts to spread throughout the entire town, to humans and supernaturals alike. 

Its effect is demonstrated most obviously in Tamara Monroe, who becomes terrified of being overlooked and builds a militia in response, but multiple people, including Scott, also experience vivid hallucinations of things that frighten them. In Scott’s case, this involves imagining that he is being chased through the Preserve by hunters. (Raw Talent, 6x12). Even just being in close physical proximity to the Anuk-ite (or to a place closely associated with it) causes intense, physically overwhelming terror, as Melissa and Chris learned in After Images (6x13) and Deaton experienced in Pressure Test (6x15).

While fear itself does not usually kill, that’s not the only threat that the creature poses. Once the Anuk-ite fully forms in Genotype (6x18), they quickly learn that it has offensive capabilities as well: looking it in the eyes will turn you to stone.

By the time we get the finale, the Anuk-ite has turned to different tactics to defeat the pack. While it’s still producing afear aura, it now combines its power to induce hallucinations to trick its victims into voluntarily looking at it, thus turning them to stone.

For Derek, it takes the voice and form of his murdered former lover, Jennifer, who he still cared for deeply despite her betrayal (“Don't you want to look at me one more time?”)

For Jackson, it chooses the voice of his boyfriend, Ethan, to trick him into thinking that the coast is clear (“quote”).

Based on the montage of pack members breaking free at the end, the Anuk-ite takes out every member of the school this way—until only Scott is left, waiting for it in the library.

The Internal Enemy

Derek’s fear is rooted in his personal losses, and Tamora’s in the fear of not being seen. But something else drives Scott—something that’s caused him the most mental anguish over the past six seasons.—and it’s that Scott consistently places his self-worth in his ability to protect and save other people.

For example, even in season one, Scott expresses the fear to Jackson and Stiles, that “When they come after you, I won't be able to protect you. I can't protect anyone.” (1x10). Then in the next season, after he fails to stop Derek from recruiting and biting a second teenager, he confides in Deaton that “everything has been slipping through [his] fingers.” (2x03)

Then we get to Motel California (3x06)—to Scott, driven to suicide by tragedy and wolfsbane poisoning

SCOTT: What if it is just me? What if doing this is actually the best thing that I could do for everyone else?

Scott survives this. But as the seasons pass, his hero complex only continues to grow. He’s beside himself when he can’t physically be there to protect Stiles in Echo House (3x20) (“Stiles, I can’t help you if you’re in here…), and in Season Four, when the deadpool threatens every supernatural creature in Beacon Hills, he declares in no uncertain terms, that “no one else dies. [...] I’m gonna save everyone.” (4x06)

Then, in season five, Scott once again finds himself overwhelmed by the tragedies that he’s unable to prevent.

SCOTT: Every time I feel like I should do something about it, I find myself reaching for my inhaler... Like, I'm going to take a hit of it, and-and come up with some brilliant solution on how to save everyone. But I don't know what to do. I don't think anyone does. [...] I know something's coming. And all I can think about is... How good am I going to be if I can't even breathe? (5x09)

These are only a few examples, but there’s a pattern here. When Scott’s healthy and in a good place, his desire to protect is by no means a bad thing. After all, it’s part of what makes him a hero! By the end of the series, dozens of people are alive who wouldn’t otherwise be, specifically because of his drive to save. But when he’s not healthy and tangles it up with his reason for existing, it can lead him down some very dark paths very quickly.

We see this most clearly in Motel California and Status Asthmaticus (5x10), both of which also contain the perfect storm of external and internal factors that we’re going to see in the series finale.

Everyone loves Motel California—it’s a fan favorite for a reason—but it’s also an episode that cannot be understood separate from its sister episode, Frayed (3x05). In Frayed, we learn that Derek fell to his seeming death during a fight with the Alpha Pack, and the next day, Scott is so wracked by guilt that his body refuses to heal. When Jennifer’s poison hits him that evening, his explanation—his verbal suicide note—is very telling.

SCOTT: [defeatedly] There's no hope. [...] Every time I try to fight back, it just gets worse. People keep getting hurt. People keep getting killed.

STILES: Scott, listen to me, okay? This isn't you, all right? This is someone inside your head, telling you to do this. Okay? Now--

SCOTT: What if it isn't? What if it is just me? What if doing this is actually the best thing that I could do for everyone else? [...] Maybe I should just be no one again-- no one at all.

By season 3A, Scott’s self worth is so completely tied to his own perceived ability to save others, that when he believes that he’s failed—that his action or inaction has directly led to a person’s death—he no longer sees a point in his existence at all.

Scott may have attempted suicide due to Jennifer’s machinations, but those thought processes weren’t created by the wolfsbane. They were already there, in the back of his mind: that he is only worth how much he can be of worth to others.

This isn’t the only time Scott experiences this kind of hopelessness. In 5A, Scott suffers defeat after defeat. Every single chimera that he tries to save is murdered by the Dread Doctors, despite his best efforts, and his pack has started to fall apart. Then, when he’s at his lowest, Theo poisons his inhaler, traps Scott in the library, and manipulates Liam into trying to murder him. In a brutal, drawn-out fight, Scott is torn apart by his own beta, and while Mason stops that attempted murder, Theo storms in, furious, and drives his claws into Scott himself.

Scott, broken and defeated, doesn’t fight back. He simply stands there, and lets Theo’s claws pierce his heart.

We don’t get dialogue summarizing Scott’s thoughts during his murder and subsequent resurrection, but Tyler Posey did talk about Scott’s mentality in a 2016 interview with Entertainment Weekly:

Mentally, accepting that you’re going to die does something to somebody. I think Scott’s mentality was that Beacon Hills is probably a better place if I’m dead. 

Or, in other words, it would be better if he was no one again.

No one at all.

Confrontation and Resolution

Let’s come back to the series finale, to the final confrontation with the anuk-ite, and look at the scene.

Scott stumbles into the library, shot by a wolfsbane bullet that was only burned away mere minutes ago, leaving him in pain and weak from the effects of the poison. This seems so entirely familiar because it is. He’s been here before. 

(The time before that, he was poisoned by a false friend’s betrayal, then nearly killed by his own beta.)

But this time, he has a plan. And his part in it is to simply make sure he survives. To hold out as long as he needs to, until Stiles shows up with the mountain ash.

He slips into the shadows, clutching his shoulder. Waiting for the monster that this time he knows for sure is stalking him.

It arrives in the form of one of his worst nightmares, the demon that stole the body of his best friend, and immediately begins to taunt him, implying that he’s a coward for isolating himself after all his friends have fallen.

VOID STILES: Hiding in the library, Scott? Hiding from me? [...] You think you can fight me, but you can't. Your friends are gone. They saw my face and it drove them insane.

Then it goes a step further, hitting at the heart of the thing that Scott has feared for so long, the thing that has very nearly led to his death on multiple occasions.

VOID STILES: They're gone because of you.

This time, Scott winces, swallowing hard. But he keeps his eyes tightly closed.

Perhaps sensing that it has hit a nerve, it presses deeper into the metaphorical wound, this time bringing up past events as well:

VOID STILES: You failed them.

[Just then, Void Stiles turns into the bandaged, chrome-fanged Nogitsune]

NOGITSUNE: You failed everyone. [...] Especially her. Especially Allison...

It’s too much, and Scott lashes out this time, taking a swipe at the monster. While the blow doesn’t land, the hallucination changes, and suddenly two of his betas are slashing into him: first Derek, then Malia. Of course, this too would be perversely familiar. He knows all too well what it feels like to have one of his betas tear into him in the library.

Then, as quickly as it came, the hallucination changes again: Lydia screams.

Loud. Piercing. 

The sort of scream that means death.

It’s the thing that, over the course of the entire series, Scott has feared the most. His pack is dead because of him, and the ones that aren’t have violently rejected him.

Just like in S2 after Fury, just like the start of 5B, he is entirely, utterly, alone.

The library doors slam closed, and silence falls. Then, the Anuk-ite takes the form of the Nogitsune and, speaking with a false gentleness, presents him with a solution:

VOID STILES: Scott... Open them, Scott. All you have to do is open your eyes.

Like with Derek, the Anuk-ite knows that Scott’s too smart to fall for a simple trick, and too determined to open his eyes by accident. So instead, it presents him with Temptation. 

He doesn’t have to live with the weight of his failures any longer. All he has to do is end his own life.

But Scott doesn’t give in. Instead, quietly defiant, he says:

SCOTT: I know how to fight you. And I know how to catch you.

The syntax in this statement is important, because Scott is talking here about two different things. The second part, the catching, will come into play when Stiles shows up with the mountain ash, but in the meantime, everything depends on the fighting. So he breaks away from the monster’s hold, and makes sure he is incapable of giving in to his own suicidal ideations.

Scott knows how the Anuk-ite works. Knows that it will use every trick in the book to convince him that giving in and taking his life is the logical, reasonable option. Recognizes the fear pressing around him from all sides, because he’s felt it before in the parking lot of a motel in Fairvale, California, as well as in this very library.

This time, however, he’s determined to make a different choice, no matter how much the idea still appeals to him. No matter how easy it seems, how simple to make all this go away once and for all.

He rejects the offer, and plunges his claws into his own eyes.

Of course, making the definitive decision not to give in to his suicidal ideations doesn’t make the monster magically go away. It’s still circling around him, hell-bent on hurting him and flooding his mind with fear. Fighting the Anuk-ite is still hard, and it still hurts. But now he’s confident he can beat it.

The Anuk-ite switches forms in quick succession after this, attacking Scott directly, as its other ploys are effectively useless. Each form that it takes is once again tailored specifically to remind Scott of his failures:

1. A berserker, the thing that Scott became when he lost the battle for his own mind.

2. An oni, the spirit that killed Allison, and

3. One of the Dread Doctors, who killed so many kids with Scott unable to stop them.

But Scott dodges or blocks each blow, landing a counter-attack that pushes back the Anuk-ite, revealing its true form.

And then Scott roars. Defiant. Powerful. Angry.

We’ve been told many times in the show that wolves roar to signal their position in the pack, so I don’t think it’s that big a stretch to say that this is Scott rejecting the Anuk-ite’s lies about his pack.  After all, you have to believe you have a pack to signal your position to it. 

Then, fangs bared, Scott declares the following:

SCOTT: You can't beat me! I'm not afraid of you. Not anymore.

This is Scott declaring his victory over the Anuk-ite, taunting it like it was taunting him only seconds before, but it’s also Scott looking his fears and his ideations in the face and saying ‘I’m not afraid of you. You don’t get to control me any more.’

And in this one moment, we finally have our full resolution to Motel California. Our resolution to Scott’s despair in S5. We see Scott finally, finally face his desire to die by suicide and tell it, You can’t have me—not today, and not ever.

Of course, we all know what happens after that. Stiles rushes into the library and throws the mountain ash, trapping the monster within the confines of its own existence. 

Scott fights the monster to a standstill by himself. But it takes the help of a friend to make sure it’s never a threat again. 

As the episode’s denouement proves, just because the monster is turned to stone doesn’t mean that everything immediately goes back to the way things were. The next time we see Scott after this scene, he’s half-sitting/half-collapsed on the library steps—the same place where he died a year before. He can’t focus, and that fear and guilt has come rushing back, despite the unequivocal victory. 

But this time, he has his friends around him. He has people that love him.

And he heals.

Recovery is a process, and battles leave scars—if not on the body, then on the mind. The mental battles we fight are just as real as the physical, and those battles are hard. Sometimes, for some people, the hardest thing we’ll ever have to do.

But it’s made even just a little bit easier when we have friends.

[loverboyromanroy]

so i guess i am completely fucking losing it over the roy brothers and i have been since the finale but it has just hit me that kendall only told shiv and roman part of the story. he didn't tell them logan covered it up yet and i've been seeing over and over this speculation that ken will go public about the incident to take logan down but the cover up makes that near impossible AND now with roman's reaction to his confession i really fucking doubt he would let ken go public

interesting point! i think, with the benefit of hindsight, i agree that the incident will probably never be public for a couple of reasons

1) as you mentioned, the cover up lies entirely with logan, so if there is any proof, logan has it and if he were going to use it to metaphorically kill kendall, he would've used it already

2) in hindsight, i think that omnipresent, foreboding death imagery that lingered over season three was meant to clue us in to this mounting internal tension that kendall was feeling from holding in the secret – we were inferring that he was going to die because we were supposed to make that connection and jump to the conclusion that he was going to absolve that internal turmoil by killing himself (intentionally or unintentionally). the good old succession bait-and-switch, of course, is that he comes as close as possible before being saved (which tells us and kendall that not even death can absolve you of your sins). i think that extra step of prolonged torment is what cracks him open and we see as the confession scene resolves itself, as the siblings rally back to these familial support positions and come together as a team again, they've given him that catharsis to start moving past it. i think now that it's out in the open, even if he clues them in to how logan covered it up, it ultimately won't matter because he's shared the guilt and now they'll all shoulder it together.

3) i also think it actually provided us this neat little parallel with season 3 cruises/doj storyline as well – kendall is so upset in 3x06 that nobody ends up getting prosecuted on the cruises cover up, and yes that's because that means his father gets away with it, but maybe it's also because he'd been harboring a belief that if his dad was held responsible for the horrible shit that happened with the cruises, kendall would karmically be forgiven for the one horrible thing he did. if he brought justice to a bunch of people, it would save him from having to provide justice to the one person he can't give justice too. it's actually interesting because the doj fine is revealed at the top of kendall's birthday party (3x07) – that kind of puts kendall's spiraling mental state in a new light if we look at it from a viewpoint that he was expecting to relieve some of his guilt through a doj conviction. when he realizes that justice won't be served in either case, it only accelerates how guilty and torn apart he feels. but, now that those storylines have both had their resolution, i can't imagine cruises OR kendall's accident living on as plot points in season four.

[allatariel]

Battlestar Galactica 3x06 "Torn" - Extended Scene

[littlespoonevan]

Top 5 Buddie moments? ☺️🥰

oh my godddd where do i start???? can i even pick 5????????? *Edit upon finishing writing: most of these ended up focusing on Eddie’s feelings towards Buck I feel??? and I definitely have Things to say about their reunion in 3x06 and the kitchen scene bc they’re also up there as my faves so I could possibly also do an alternative top 5 that’s more Buck caring about Eddie but anyway here you go!

5. 2x04 - Buck introduces Eddie to Carla

Honestly every single interaction between them in this ep is my favourite because Buck supports Eddie so much throughout the whole ep????? Taking him to the hospital, telling Maddie what a great dad he is, giving Bobby the heads up when Eddie has to bring Chris to the station, it's all So Good. Especially when you remember they're still only just becoming friends at this point. But Buck introducing him to Carla has to be the icing on the cake for me. It's just- we've seen how smothered Eddie has felt in the past when it comes to caring for Christopher, how his parents have continually tried to take over or make him feel like he's doing something wrong, and I just really, really love that Buck offers him this support and this magic fix but in a way that doesn't undermine Eddie as a parent at all??????? Like he helps him but not because he thinks Eddie can't handle it but because he thinks Eddie deserves a break and wants to make things easier for him. It's amazing and I loVE IT

4. 3x18 - His fiancée's AbBy

sakljdfhs okay look. Listen. I love this scene so much and I think only recently sort of understand why. It's the first time we really see Eddie lose his calm during an emergency and the first time we see him specifically lose his calm over Buck. Because Eddie clearly knows how to compartmentalise and because of that we generally only see him look worried but not really outwardly react when Buck is in danger. But this scene akjsdh he's so aNNOYED and frustrated and it's fascinating because you have to wonder how much he knows about Abby and who's told him what. But what we do know is he knows Abby broke his best friend's heart and he knows Buck is willing to sacrifice himself for anyone but no way in hell is Eddie about to let him become collateral damage for someone who doesn't deserve it (and now we know he'd already changed/or was changing his will during this time *screams*). And yeah it's fun to call it jealousy but ultimately I think it was a lot of worry and a lot of frustration on Eddie's part because it's a very clear example of Buck believing he's expendable and Eddie wanting to shout, "You're wrong!!!!". Just. What a good fucking scene.

3. 3x03 - There’s nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you

I mean how could I not include this scene?????? It’s just- everything. All of it. From Buck’s voiceover to photograph playing in the background to the way Eddie all but bulldozes his way through casual conversation in the hopes of not having to explain. It’s about the absolutely unconditional way Eddie forgives him, like it’s not even a question, and the way Buck is so clearly torn up and can’t understand why Eddie doesn’t toss him aside. I’ll never get over “A few choice words can be the life raft that gets you home” combined with “There is nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you.” And obviously we know just how true that is later on but in this scene, you can tell Buck hears him even if he can’t quite allow himself to believe it yet. And it’s so soft and so gentle and just another one of those examples that prove to us that Eddie always seems to know exactly what to say to Buck to bring him back to the surface :’)

2. 4x04 - The gym scene

Honestly if it wasn’t for the season 4 finale this would be my number one. How do I love this scene? Let me count the ways. Just sakdjhfa fuck!!!!! it’s the first time we’ve ever seen Buck angry and I know obviously Eddie’s his confidant but it’s so good to actually see Eddie being his confidant. To see that Eddie’s the one he wants to vent to and that Eddie’s the one he trusts with his anger and Eddie just remains such a calming presence in the face of it all????? From the gentle way he talks to the way his foot holds down the punching bag while Buck hits it - I am on the floor. And also!!!!!! Eddie just repeatedly validating Buck’s feelings - “What do you have to apologise for? If that’s how you feel - how they made you feel - then you have every right to say so.” askdjfhas I think it’s really important actually because Buck is always called out for thinking before he acts and yeah, obviously sometimes he should apologise but I really love that Eddie takes the time to make it clear this is different. That Buck didn’t do anything wrong and is allowed to be upset. Also Eddie stopping Buck from hitting the punching bag when Buck says “I just want to hit things” and saying “I’ve been down that road. I don’t recommend it” goodbye???????????? He cares about Buck so much let me be. 

1. 4x14 - You think you’re expendable...but you’re wrong

askdjfha is there anything I can say about this scene that hasn’t already been said?????? It’s stunning. It’s so beautiful and so significant and I will never recover. Eddie is someone who struggles so much to talk about his feelings but he’s the one who initiates the conversation because this is important to him. And I said this yesterday but it really is a declaration of love????? I’ve written before about how the scene sort of parallels/answers Buck’s “Love me anyway” plea but one thing I noticed when rewatching Buck Begins is that when Buck gets hurt Margaret yells at him and says “You think you’re indestructible but you’re not” and it’s such a contrast to Eddie saying “You think you’re expendable...but you’re wrong.” even though the two sentences are almost identical. I’ve talked a lot about how significant the word “expendable” is and that parallel sort of reinforced it for me because Margaret is chastising Buck. She’s admonishing him for being reckless with himself and his body and it’s inarguably tied to Daniel. Whereas Eddie uses the word expendable because he knows Buck’s recklessness comes from a place of not feeling wanted. So he tells him I want you and I love you and you can’t get hurt because me and Christopher need you and Buck hears him. And I mean, that’s not even getting into the wILL of it all???? Like, hello???????? but I’m gonna stop now because I’m rambling but aksjdfhsja honestly this scene has broken me beyond repair and I for one am so grateful

[dr-lizortecho]

okay, so I’ve been screaming about this for an insane amount of time, but like

in 3x06 when Jones has just taken over Max’s body, the “desert” painting has been taken off the wall, not torn or anything, just kind of propped against the seat, while the “ocean” painting remains on the wall

working as another hint to the viewers that something is wrong with Max, that he is out of place

[blue-mint-winter]

[3x06] Kara’s haircut

[gallavichsbitch]

me going out after 3x06 trying to act as if my heart wasn’t torn out of my chest, stomped on, and put through 37 different meat grinders

[lovecolibri]

I was initially excited about 3x07 because it was written by Chris but I really don't want Heather's vision anywhere near Malex. Fortunately, it looks like 3x08 is going to be a much bigger Malex episode with the two of them hopefully far away from M*ria and the twist won't be something in her head. Trevino is listed for 3x07, so fingers crossed Alex gets him back next episode from Eduardo and we finally get some quality Kylex content again.

Yeah, I'm really conflicted about my excitement for 3x07 because like you said, Chris wrote it and that was back before we knew anything and were riding that 2x04-vibe high and hoping we would get something similar this season which...we're still waiting on. And then I found out who was directing and I'm with you, I don't want her vision or interpretation Malex in any capacity. AND THEN, we got 3x06 which was so good and has a really good set up for 3x07 so I'm torn on hoping for a really great Malex scene, but also not wanting it at the same time. Fingers crossed everything turns out okay and hopefully we get our boy Kyle back, but if he's missing another episode that's fine too because he's got to miss 3 episodes and I'd rather get them out of the way now. It's also possible he could be found in 3x07 and will be "recuperating" and missing during whatever is going down in 3x08.

As for 3x08, I'm still a little wary. This episode was touted multiple times as a "favorite" episode by a few different people (though that could always mean that it was just a lot of fun for them to film), but it was also said to be a m*ria-centric episode that took place mostly in her head. And pretty immediately the buzz was "well we guessed Tyler was missing from that one based on when he was in Santa Fe, and if it's m*ria-centric and all in her head I'm definitely skipping that one." And what do you know? Then the word because it was only about half, and then 40% in m*ria's head AND, as a bonus to get people to watch it, we got the hint that there was a "twisty" Malex scene in that episode as well. So then the buzz became "Well, I guess if they're dangling the Malex carrot, I'll have to watch the episode", but a lot of people balked at the word "twisty" in conjunction with an episode centered around m*ria and being mostly in her head, especially after 2x06. And then what do you know again! Suddenly the word became that about 1/3 of the episode takes place in people's heads, dropping m*ria completely. So given ALL that, I'm understandably more cautious about what that episode is going to bring since they have changed what they are pushing for the episode based on people's reactions but that doesn't mean that their initial push of the episode being m*ria-centric and mostly taking place in her head was wrong, just that they realized that people didn't like that so they changed marketing tactics. My guess, especially giving how much of the rest of the season has already been m*ria-centric, is that 3x08 will be more of the same. 🤷‍♀️

HOWEVER, seeing that Alex and Michael are teaming up to save Max, who we now know is at the very least possessed by Jones and possibly even switched bodies, there is a glimmer of hope that they are off doing their own thing and possibly having a showdown with Jones which would be fun and I bet he can pull people into a mindscape so that could be our twisty Malex. But if it ends up with Alex and Michael each in their own heads and the only "Malex" moments are them with the other person as a "dream" or "memory" and no actual Malex, I might just scream. Also I'm just praying that nothing to do with Malex goes on in m*ria's head or they don't have to go into her mindscape. When will Alex and Michael be allowed to be free of her?