#30 year old virgin thinks older gentleman in armor is hot

[theshotsheardacrossworlds]

Flirt

Five times Agi flirted with Emmrich, and one time he flirted with her. Last section is NSFW.

Agnes Aldwir, otherwise known as Rook, was desperately trying and failing to stay calm when she went to speak with their newest recruit---Professor Emmrich Volkarin.

I wasn’t exactly enthusiastic about picking up a professor, especially after how shit my own educational experience was.

I thought, “Oh great, here comes another asshole know-it-all to make my life a living hell all over again.”

And then I met him.

And then I fell in love.

I’m in love with this man.

Fucking hells.

“What a fascinating place this Lighthouse is! What do you make of it?” he asked politely.

Zero thoughts.

Head empty.

Trust my heart, because it will never lead me astray…I really hope because I’m going to try—

She smirked. “I think I like it better with a necromancer in the place.”

His eyes widened. “Do you?”

Do it, Agi.

She raised what she hoped was a sort of sexy but also a bit cheeky maybe perhaps eyebrow. “Especially one with experience.”

Without missing a beat, he demurred, “I must be sure to live up to expectations.”

Mission accomplished?

Fuck yeah why not!

All the nervous tension in her body seemed to ease then. “Did you get the tour yet?”

If not, then Emmrich…how about a tour?

Please?

“Oh, I’ve been exploring, but…I noticed a few of the others taken aback by Manfred. And I overheard remarks about my skulls.” Give me names. “My necromancy won’t cause any undue worry, will it?”

Okay, if I’m being completely honest here, there might be some issues.

However, if we have open and honest communication between all parties, I think it should be alright! Yeah, I think that’ll work.

She offered a reassuring smile. “Everyone’s just new. Give it time. We’ll settle in, get to know each other…as long as we’re open and honest I think it’ll all be fine.”

Agi, you sound like a fucking idiot.

And he’s a professor!!!

He doesn’t appear convinced. Fuck.

He tilted his head towards her. “If you say so, Rook.”

Rook.

I can’t even tell him my real name.

He won’t even know me…just Rook.

As quickly as the tension left her and made her feel as light as air, it returned with a vengeance. “I’ll let you get back to it. See you later, Professor.”

She turned to leave, hoping to run and hide. However, when she heard him say gently, “Emmrich, dear,” she froze.

Emmrich.

Why the fuck did I fall in love you when you’re probably married or at the very least have several extremely attractive lovers and I’m a thirty-year-old virgin from Ferelden who no man ever looks twice at? Why? Why did I do this to myself?

He can never love me.

He can like me.

He’ll be my friend, I’m sure.

But that’s all I’ll ever be…that’s all I am.

Everyone’s friend.

An object of romantic love? Never.

Agnes blinked and realized that while she was wallowing, the necromancer was now standing in front of her, his hands gently holding hers.

“Rook? Are you alright?’

Oh fuck.

Her heart began to beat rapidly in her chest. “Oh! Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just been a long day.” A long week. A long month. A long year. A long several years.

Emmrich is absolutely not convinced. Shit. “Are you quite sure, my dear? You’re crying.” He let go of one of her hands and brushed away tears with his thumb. “Rest is most assuredly needed, Rook. As our leader, your well-being is of paramount importance. Please get some rest.”

Why…why is he being nice?

Why is he looking at me like he cares?

Like he…

No.

He doesn’t. He will never.

Nip it in the bud now. Save yourself from another heartbreak.

She stepped back and nodded. “Yeah. I will, thank you. And um, sorry. It’s all been a lot. Sorry.” Agnes mumbled, leaving his library.

But what if…

***

“And what sort of host would I be, if we didn’t end with some light refreshment?” Emmrich said politely, hands clasped at his waist.

Agnes blinked.

That is Manfred.

That is Manfred with tea.

That is Manfred with tea and biscuits.

Did he do that for me?

He can’t do this for everyone, right?

Alright. Be brave, Agi.

Taking a breath, she grinned. “Did you set all this up to make a good impression?”

His eyes widened. “Of course not! I was only—”

Do it, Agi.

“Because it’s working.” Agnes interrupted as a fierce sort of fondness swelled in her chest.

Please tell me I didn’t just make a fool of myself.

For a moment, something resembling shock crossed his features before he collected himself, glancing towards Manfred. “Then it’s my pleasure to share the tranquility of this place with you.” Emmrich offered his arm, which she took, releasing a breath she did not realize she was holding.

Holy fuck.

It’s happening.

He did have it arranged for me.

Oh, Emmrich. You wonderful man…

***

That’s it, Agi. Be professional. Be normal, for fuck’s sake.

Don’t think about those sexy hands of his touching you…

Yes, yes ten pupils in the same class. Crazy. Mad.

“Before you go, I wanted to thank you for your company in the Memorial Gardens.” Emmrich said after Agnes indicated that I should leave before I make a fool of myself. “There’s another ceremony I have to perform there, if you’d like to visit again. Not yet, but soon.” He stared at expectantly, hands on his slender thighs.

He…wants me to go with him again?

O-oh okay.

Maybe he…

Her heart began to race as she smiled. Be honest about what I want. Be honest about how I feel. “You know I can’t turn down spending more time with you.”

It’s the truth.

It’s certainly better than “I’m madly in love with you, and you can take me wherever you like.”

Was that a fucking sigh?!

He did, in fact, sigh. “How lovely to hear you say so.” Me and lovely in the same sentence. Weird. “I’ll always be glad to show you around the tombs, my dear. At your pleasure.”

My dear.

He’s never called me that before.

Oh shit. Oh fuck.

Oh, I’m really in it now.

Her smile changed into a grin. “I’ll take you up on that.”

“Wonderful! Until then.” He exclaimed with a bow of his head, and she turned to leave.

My dear.

I want to hope.

I want to so badly.

He called me…my dear…

Once in the hallway, she leaned against the stone wall, her hands flying to her heaving bosom.

My dear…

***

As Agnes and her comrades prepared to leave for the Warden Forward Camp, the Veilguard’s leader saw out of the corner of her eye that he’s wearing the sexy armor.

Oh shit.

Oh fuck.

What the red-headed mage called “the sexy armor” was Emmrich’s form-fitting preserved gurn hide armor.

Extremely form-fitting.

He’s so fucking slender, and I want to nibble his—

“Agi? Oh dear, I should be saying ‘Rook’ since we’re heading out shortly.” The necromancer chuckled to himself, approaching her with a warm smile.

I want to nibble his tiny, little waist and hips and maybe give him a lick and see what noises come out of his—

FOCUS.

Focus on the mission.

Focus on—

She giggled. “You can call me whatever you want when you’re wearing that, Emmrich.” OH NO. Much to her embarrassment, she continued to giggle. FUCK MY LIFE!!!! “You look so very handsome in the gurn armor.” STOP. “Anyways, I need to grab a few more items, please excuse me!” As quickly as her long legs would carry her, she darted towards the stairs and into Solas’s meditation room.

RUN. HIDE.

Okay, I can’t hide because I need to kill a blighted dragon.

Agi, get your shit together!

He’s only going to be next to you, flinging spells and being SO SEXY IN THE SEXY ARMOR.

Fuck.

***

Oh fuck yes, it’s sexy armor day again.

Agnes tried and is currently failing to remain calm as she watched her lover approach the eluvian room wearing his gurn hide armor. No Davrin and Assan yet so maybe I can flirt or grab his juicy ass—

“Where has my sweet girl gone? She seems so far away…”

She felt his hands on her waist, kneading her ample sides from behind, and his lips by her ear. “I assure you she’s right here,” she said quickly, trying and failing once again to ignore the throbbing at the apex of her plush thighs. Do it, Agi. He’s wearing the sexy armor. Come on! “And thinking about how utterly delicious you look, love.”

The not-so-subtle arch of a perfectly groomed eyebrow caused her to smirk.

I’ve piqued his interest. Good. Maybe I can flirt after all!

His mustache tickled her ear as he whispered, “Tell me about it, darling. I long to hear how I’ve captivated you.”

“You’re going to think it’s mad,” she bit back a moan when a hand found its way under her Dalish wraps. “B-but it’s the gurn hide armor. It’s very…oh dear, Emmrich…” Agnes gasped as his hand caressed her soft belly. “It’s very sexy.” As he pressed himself against her backside, she felt a twitch against her. O-oh my goodness.

A breathy moan fell from him, his mouth trailing kisses along the back of her ear down her neck. “What about it specifically? I must know every detail, darling.”

Oh shit.

Oh fuck.

No Davrin or Assan yet…

She licked her lips. “It’s that…it shows off your figure, but it’s more than that.” He wants to hear. He won’t say I’m stupid or too inexperienced. I trust him. I love him. It’s okay. Everything is okay. “Seeing you without your long coat and casting spells is very sexy, love.’

“Ah, so you derive pleasure from watching me perform, hmm?” His voice between a purr and a growl.

I can hear it now.

“How did Rook die?”

“Death by sexual combustion.”

Before she had a chance to respond, the doors to the eluvian room opened.

Oh no.

“Assan, your mother and her boyfriend are making out in the eluvian room again.” The Warden said with an eyeroll. “Are we going to have to stage an intervention?”

“Death by embarrassment.”

Agnes burst into nervous giggles and gestured towards the eluvian. “Hahaha, no. No, interventions are necessary. Nope. Not here. Anyways, let’s go. Right, Assan? Let’s go!” She pat Assan’s head and went through the eluvian with him, leaving Emmrich and Davrin behind.

The necromancer adjusted armor, eyes on the eluvian. Wicked thoughts flowed through his mind and promised himself that he would indeed perform for her later.

And boy did he! I couldn’t walk for nearly an hour after…

***

Though Agnes was tired from a particularly long day with Emmrich and Harding in Dock Town, she was not about to miss one of her favorite times of the week---Wednesday Game Night. Board games. Card games. Whatever. We just play games. It’s fun. And Lucanis baked cookies!

As she walked back to Emmrich’s bedroom, she was expecting to see him lying in bed reading.

Because that’s what he does most nights.

After she closed and locked the door behind her, she turned and nearly JUMPED OUT OF MY FUCKING SKIN! HOLY FUCKING SHITBALLS!

Her beloved was not, in fact, reading in bed.

Emmrich “It’s Making Love Not Fucking, Darling” Volkarin was, indeed, lying down on his bed.

Wearing a black silk robe that’s open.

His gold-rimmed reading glasses perched on the edge of his sexy nose.

Is that…what’s that around his cock?

A squeal of surprise tore through her as she scrambled inside, slamming the door shut. “Emmrich!”

“A little birdie told me you won at cards tonight, darling.” He breathed, his twinkling eyes on her. “I thought I might offer my best girl a very special reward.”

She hummed as she strode towards him, barely stifling a giggle. “Was this little birdie’s name Manfred?”

“Agi! Won! Good!”

Standing at the foot of the bed, she began to undress. “Because if it was, then Manfred left out an important piece of information, love.”

Emmrich raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Did he now? Why don’t you come over here, dear, and tell me all about it.” To her, he was elegance personified a deposited his glasses on the side table and is offering himself to me like he’s a fucking banquet. Fuck. Shit. Balls. HIS BALLS.

Now nude, she climbed into bed and leaned over him. “It was Go Fish, Emm. I beat Bellara and Lucanis at Go Fish.”

The most beautiful man I’ve ever seen and have the pleasure to love fucking guffawed. Laughing so hard he’s crying.

His cock is still very hard with a ring on it.

Well, since he’s already…prepared…

He insisted I come at least four times before he even thought about it.

He’s mad, but I love him.

I love him.