#28.12.2022

[liam-93-productions]

Liam recently in New Jersey (x) - 28.12

[hosgeldinhuzun]

Birkaç damla yağmurdan zarar gelmez.☕

[zaynjmsource]

zaynmalik: payntbyzayn.com

[rbf451]

fridaxbc ig story 28.12.2022

[prosy-days]

December 28, 2022 - Day 192

I'll have to find someplace where this beautiful egg from my friend won't get smashed.

[phototagebuch]

28.12.2022: Nouria

[godsnameisjoy]

DEPTHS

Date: 28 December 2022

Duration: 38 minutes at 11:32 PM

Depth:

Now, this was a regular meditation.

I guess the experience of meditational sweetness matters much to me. It is more than 12 days now that I last experienced the most blessed sweetness of mind. The experience lasted briefly at 3 different times. I have missed the experience ever since.

In the last 12 days, meditations have been unusual. I have been able to conduct exercises sincerely with the help of my attention. I know that I can do so only in the shallow regions of my mind. In the depths, Peace can and will cause a substance free abandoning of control over the attention.

Last night’s meditation is shorter than the 2 meditations before it. And the shortness has to do with my inability to conduct exercises at Peaceful depths of mind. In the depths, my attention simply and rather clumsily latches on to feelings of Peace. At the depths, my attention struggles to get used to the depths. It usually fails, like it did last night.

Not having championed the maximum depths it is capable of arriving at, my attention drank of Peace till it couldn’t anymore. My meditation was 20 minutes shorter than the 2 meditations before it. I prefer planning for another Peace filled meditation. I know that the memory of sweetness of mind is not the same as the blessed experience.

[bekindtoyou4007]

Bad day today. Had to make up with husband and tell him how I've been feeling. Always struggle to voice the really dark thoughts for fear I'm being manipulative or upsetting other people. But I did need to make clear just how bad a place I'm in. Husband can still go hang out with his friends and stuff and has done that, but will be making an effort to help me when he gets back. Being too ill to distract myself this Christmas was really hard. The fact my parents basically don't want anything to do with me unless I'm acting as they want is really and truly gutting. It guts me over and over again to know how little they must care about me, to ignore texts and not pick up the phone and their eyes glaze over when we're face to face if I stick to boundaries and try to have normal relationships with them rather than serving their toxicity. Unless I'm being a sounding board for my father to talk about how disgusting he finds my mother, he doesn't want to talk. Unless I'm rising to my mother's bait when she makes an unpleasant remark and give her the argument she's angling for, she couldn't care less if she sees me or speaks to me. I don't know why they had children, maybe they always thought they'd be able to continue the unhealthy dynamic indefinitely. It seems crazy to me. It's incredibly lonely. My brother seems to have fallen down that hole too, he ignored me all Christmas except for viewing a message I sent on Facebook and emoji reacting. I tried reaching out without success. I have tried to make myself useful, be a listener, give advice when asked, help with things if appropriate. I have so much love to give, I no longer feel like a drained dry well when it comes to support and compassion for other people like when I was a freshly traumatised teenager staggering out of that house. I've learned how to feel and how to have meaningful relationships but I don't get to exercise those skills really at all with my immediate family because they're so still trapped in the cycle. Amazingly, I'm the closest now with my sister, in a shock turn of events. Someone who was historically the golden child who I was pitted against and who my parents basically encouraged me to hate. And yet, she's coming out of the fog now too and I don't feel resentment just sadness that so much of her life, like mine, was spent in that type of environment and will have warped her in different ways to me but still warped her.

[blossomthewitch]

does anyone have any new/old year rituals? i know that yule is when most witches celebrate old/new years, but i am attached to 31dec/1jan lol!!

i always do a end of the year tarot spread, a new year tarot spread + i cleanse my whole room (i'm still living at my parents so i can't cleanse my whole house) and i think for this year i'm also going to dye my hair/cut it a bit to symbolise a new start!

what about you?

[liam-93-productions]

Jamie Scott via his IG stories - 28.12

[rbf451]

Baltic Princess cruise 27. -28.12.2022

santerikoppelo story

[zaynjmsource]

Zayn via Instagram Story - 28/12

[lhistoireduneetoile]

Update : Il a répondu !! Je n'en reviens pas, vraiment pas et en plus il est partant pour que cette fois on apprenne réellement à se connaître. Ça me rend toute chose !

J'ai cédé et j'ai finis par lui écrire... Être dans l'attente ça m'angoisse, mais j'espère ne pas le regretter comme la dernière fois.

[rbf451]

At Baltic Princess cruise 27.- 28.12.2022

by alenle on ig

[onecliccyatatime]

The Click did a Hot Tub Stream for charity! As always, all the funds go to The Trevor Project! Go and check out the video here

https://youtu.be/QyarD5Vazhc

[canhovinhomesinfo]

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