#2000 years and lesbians haven't changed

[perfectlyripeclementine]

Haven't posted much about books or reading lately. I don't have time to gather as much info or write the mini-reviews I normally do, but in no particular order, here's some books I've either read and enjoyed lately.

Last Words from Montmartre, Qiu Miaojin. Miaojin, a lesbian novelist from Taiwan, writes a series of fictionalized letters to lovers, friends, and to her sister from Paris. They deal with themes of gender, sexuality, displacement, and depression. They are Miaojin's last work, as she committed suicide shortly after completing the book.

The Free People's Village, Sim Kern. An alternate present America in 2020: Al Gore won the election in 2000, and America has spent the past 20 years in a "War on Climate Change" -- but America's ways of addressing the climate are hardly ideal. The protagonist, Madeline, falls in love with the lead singer in her boyfriend's band, and through the web of artists she meets in the music scene, she becomes involved in political organizing. Particularly liked this book for how it treated white allyship.

Another Word for Love, Carvell Wallace. A memoir by a prolific writer of profiles. Honestly, there's no way to describe that book that doesn't feel trite or reductive. Wallace's prose is clear and unfailingly kind, unfailingly interested in giving people just a little more grace. A book on hurting and healing.

Disobedience, by Daniel Sarah Karasik. Two people fall in love in a dystopian labor camp amidst the wreckage of climate change. One manages to escape to a commune that has been trying to build a sustainable way of living. Questions about the role of violence in social movement, its necessity but also its danger.

Body Work, Melissa Febos. A writing memoir. I strongly recommend this book to anyone who's interested in learning how to write from a somatic perspective. Febos writes from the perspective of being a queer former sex worker, and discusses the role writing has played in her ability to process the trauma of violent and gendered social conditioning.

[iced-coffee-jesus]

Shout out to you about the Glee bit bc I saw so many people praising it and I was kinda dumb founded bc in after gay marriage was legalized, I had a long time friend look me in the eye and say, “what’s next are they gonna let people marry dogs?”

Like, Glee did not fucking end homophobia and like yeah, it did have some of the first queer characters that a lot of people were exposed to but the idea that Buck was somehow post Glee and that there was this magical changing of people’s opinions after glee started and they LOVE gay people now is NUTS

Thank you for the shout out anon! There is so much I could say about that speech but I'm gonna try and be concise.

I know that they were going for a moving moment about homophobia and being excepted, and I will give you some leeway in the fact that I haven't really seen Glee and, sure, it did bring a kind of representation that was lacking to TV. But Buffy had a lesbian couple way before them, Ellen came out in her sitcom in the 90's, Friends had a gay wedding that was somewhat handled well, plus a million other shows that also had queer rep by the late 2000's to mid 2010's. Glee was not the first to do it nor the best, lets be real.

Also, Buck is frankly too old for Josh to use the 'pre-Glee' euphemism. Buck was born in 1991-1992... he's in his fucking thirties, for Christ's sake. Josh has been out longer and is older than Buck, but that doesn't give him or Tommy any right to claim or suggest they experienced homophobia in a way Buck never will. Buck is also Bi, not gay, and his experiences will be different; I'm not saying worse, simply different.

And, like I mentioned in my tags, I've been called slurs, and I'm definitely 'post-Glee'. I'm 26, Glee started airing when I was eleven. I'm Bi, and I've been called a dyke and a faggot and a muffin muncher (I'll be honest I'm not sure if that one is a slur or not, I lean towards not). And those are just by one of my brothers. My church started participating and orchestrating conversion therapy when I was a teenager, a year or so after I realized I was queer. I can't be out at my job because we have a 'morals' clause (it's run by a church, and unfortunately legal). There was a horrible case a few years ago that I won't go too in-depth where a queer couple was murdered and dumped in the river. But police insist it wasn't a hate crime (it was).

I'm not trying to say we shouldn't respect or appreciate our queer elders. But Tommy and Josh aren't really queer elders to Buck in a way that makes the Glee conversation make sense. It just came across wildly tone deaf and like a straight person wrote it; queer people who came after Glee still faced almost 100% of the same struggles as the people before Glee. And the reason we don't face 100% the same struggles is not because of Fucking Glee.

Alright, rant over.

[succubussally]

the difference is the gays never get the kiss and also get told they're disgusting for even seeing it that way

Posting for context as this is what it was in response to.

First off, I'm very aware of homophobia as I have been a victim of it myself. I'm not straight but anon had no way of knowing that. So I forgive you for that, anon. There's no way you could have known. I'm a woman and have dated women as well as a non-binary person.

I've also been on tumblr since 2009,2010 https://succubussally.tumblr.com/archive The archive function is not working correctly currently so I'm not able to scroll all the way back to confirm the year but I'm pretty sure it was at least late 2009.

I totally get that a lot of my older posts are garbage and I have left them up to show that I have changed a lot as a person since then. I did use to be a garbage straight person who didn't bother identifying as bi/queer as I currently do. (I was attracted to women back then but thought that was something all girls do? I was very misled)

Now, onto the whole "gays never get the kiss". Where is this coming from because I even mentioned in my comment there that I am referring to when "Will they or won't they" was used on sitcoms.

You know what aired in the 90s? ELLEN. I was never really into her but obviously she's amazing for having come out on her own show. I also didn't get to watch the show when it aired as I was a Jehovah's Witness as a child in the 90s. (I mostly watch old sitcoms and I managed to miss this one and haven't ever seen it in syndication?)

Apparently there was a lesbian kiss https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrbMSW8cQQ8 but one of the characters was straight because back then, you couldn't be gay and kiss on TV.... UNTIL MISSION HILL BABY.

Wally & Gus are gay and they kiss. This aired in 1999/2000. They are a couple however and don't have a "will they or won't they" relationship. In the show they've been together since the 1950's. And the show won an award for having a positive portrayal of a gay couple.

And now I'm going to talk about the most controversial of all - and happens to be one I know well because I watched the show a lot when I was a teen and I still watch reruns as well as the reboot that killed off the main character which was a GOOD CHOICE.

The episode of Roseanne "Ladies Choice" followed by the episode in a later season "Don't Ask, Don't tell".

People don't ever really seem to bring this up and its totally understandable because somewhere down the line, Roseanne Barr became just a monster of a person. From the thing that got her fired from her own show to that garbage she said more recently that didn't even make sense.

Roseanne has always been controversial but back in the 80s/90s - her image and show had better intentions than obviously now.

The show also featured gay characters and a bisexual character. In "Ladies Choice" Nancy comes out to her friends who are shocked, but they support her anyway.

Then in a later episode in that same season, it's revealed in a poor way that Nancy is also bisexual. Her friends question her attraction to a man to which she responds "I'm a people person, please don't label me" It's also made clear that she has no interest in having a relationship with the guy, but instead only wants to date him so she can get pregnant. After this guy turns out to be a con artist, she goes back to dating women.

Then in "Don't ask, Don't tell" - Nancy is dating a stripper, Sharon. It's not said specifically but its revealed that Nancy and Sharon are in an open relationship. Sharon invites Roseanne and friends to a gay bar where Sharon dances with Roseanne, and then kisses her.

Roseanne is a straight married woman but what makes this episode significant is that Roseanne has a poor reaction to the kiss and tries to blame it on Sharon not being monogamous. This is when Nancy tells Roseanne that Sharon told her about the kiss and its fine, not cheating. This confuses Roseanne which leads her to tell Jackie that she wasn't bothered by the kiss, but that she isn't gay.

Nancy walks in on Roseanne announcing that she isn't gay and has to tell her that, the real reason the kiss freaked her out is because deep down - Roseanne enjoyed it.

Nancy even tells her that sexuality isn't all black and white.

Roseanne continues to deny it until she finally admits to Nancy, that she was wrong - which means Nancy is right and she enjoyed the kiss. Roseanne denies she enjoyed it to her husband thinking he'll be upset only to learn he's a little too interested in his wife kissing some woman at a bar. (typical 90s stuff)

This isn't a "will they or won't they" relationship either although they do build up to the kiss with a lot of suspense. But it's really just "ohh what's gonna happen at the gay bar" - well gay stuff, duh.

This post is way too long for my liking and I'm sure there are many other examples of gays being okay and even kissing on tv at least - I didn't even touch all the gay movies I love from the 90's. These are just the examples that came to mind first on the subject of "gays never get the kiss" and I fully admit, there aren't any examples at least off the top of my head where gay people are in a "will they or won't they" relationship.

and like I mentioned, I tend to watch a lot of old sitcoms cause I love nostalgia and missed out on my childhood sadly because I was a JW.

There are probably more examples that I've heard about but don't know enough about to post about it here because anytime gay people kiss on TV, it's been a big deal.

So maybe "Gays" as anon put it, don't get the kiss in "will they or won't they" situations but they do get to kiss as couples and bisexuals get to kiss too.

And lets not minimize how important it is that bisexual characters get to kiss. I'm sick of bi-erasure and I won't stand for it.

As far as I'm concerned, its canon that Roseanne and Nancy are bisexuals. And sexuality does have a grey area.

[realjaysumlin]

L.A. County sheriff's sex crimes investigator arrested on suspicion of raping minor - Los Angeles Times

Behavior projection is a reflection of self but you blame others as if you are the opposite of the very people you are stereotyping. This is the way people who call themselves white do to the rest of the people who are not considered as being white; in particularly Black Indigenous People.

In race science the Black People are supposed to be hypersexual and uncontrollable in their lust, but we can see that it's the people who call themselves white behave naturally with incest and raping indigenous people since colonization and these colonizers brought homosexuality and lesbianism with them and performed these lewd sexual activities against a people who never experienced anything like this before.

We still have Indigenous Tribes who are isolated from our modern world and we know this by their natural ways of living which is often described as being a primitive people and negatively stereotyped by the western world today.

We can see the effects of colonization by the most recent victims of colonization in the Jarawa People, who are now sharing the same fate as our forebears during colonizers in the 1400s. I suggest going to YouTube and seeing what happens to the Jarawa People in modern times.

Their domain is now a human zoo and now have been traumatized by the effects of rapes, homosexuality and murdered. This is now, not past history of the year 2000 and now. History always repeats itself if the people are the same, and we can see that people who call themselves white haven't changed one bit.

You should look at the history of European Crimes dating back to the 15th century and especially around the 1700 to the early 1900s where European children were used for prostitution, rapes, homosexual and lesbian exploitation, incest and cannibalism.

Baby farming was a big business in those times and most of these crimes went on without the prosecution until it became obvious to the public awareness of some person who was considered as being a noble. Peasants and impoverished people's lives didn't matter.

Many criminals were given the opportunity to go to other parts of the world to gain a new identity like that of H.H. Holmes in the United States ran a hotel of horrors after many mass murders in Europe and continued in the United States until his execution.

Today many people believe it's safer to live in a so-called white neighborhood than living amongst Black People. This is a false sense of security to allow yourself to be exposed for a slaughter and improper trauma than living amongst ourselves.

Just realized that white criminals are suppressed and Black criminals are sensationalized. This is to promote Black People fear and white people safe projection. The other side of the divide and conquer rules under the brand of deception.

[kuronokiseki]

A Few Years Had Passed, the BL Genre has Changed Alot... Yet I Still Love Romantica

But seriously, if you love something, is it necessary to have a reason? xD Can't I love something merely because I want to? Like, you don't need to have a reason to like fried chicken amirite?

Ahem. Anyway. Long post ahead.

First of all, it's merely because of a certain shot.

After seeing this for the first time, I was like "This is going to be one of my faves for sure. I'll enjoy every seconds of it. I believe this is a story that I will never forget. I'll constantly look forward to knowing the two and their story more and more."

Proud to say, this still rings true even now!

I have already listed the reasons why I love them so much, so I won't do it again in this post. But for this time, I'll explain why I still love them even after several years, even after I've transitioned from a teen to an adult which would affect my tastes over time, even after I've seen more BL works... even after knowing that there are things that other BLs managed to pull off better.

Flashbacks to the 2000s which I assume was the golden age of this series, where it was the only "watchable" BL anime back then and Sakurai Takahiro did a phenomenal job in portraying Misaki. Almost all of the fujos in internet would at least have heard of this series, and naturally it was massively beloved that 90% of the fujos would hold it as the no. 1 in their top BL list. However, since it is popular, of course there will be a fraction of people who strongly hate it because of a certain scene. Hence, citing it as the epitome of toxic BL lmao.

But of course, things will constantly change as time passed, just like how it's growing evident that BL is only consumed by cishet women is a huge myth, as queer men themselves have started to voice their love towards the genre as well. And it is also possible for ppl who aren't interested in men to enjoy BL, such as the straight guys, lesbians, and asexuals.

Likewise, BL itself is also evolving - newer ones are more aware about the idea of consent although some may still clueless of how healthy relationships work (relationship is more than just sex!). While this may sound subjective, technically there are more and more quality BL works to consume nowadays. In case you are bored with the slice-of-life BL, there is a plethora of fantasy and horror BL out there to choose, moreso when you're aware of webnovel sites like Syosetu. Isekai BL? They're out there.

And it isn't just from Japan, China and Korea are also capable of producing good BL as well. Even BL is getting praised for the more genuine M/M representation compared to how it's generally done in the West (coughcough performative diversity coughcough).

And it doesn't stop there. The series doesn't even need to have a BL label, the MC can still be gay, and the gay romance can still happen despite the plot not centering around that.

There should be no reason to think that it isn't possible for two men to fall for each other nowadays, the teases shouldn't amount to nothing, which alot of non-BLs were guilty of back then. Well, I'm talking abt series that would tease two male characters together but the creators will allow them to be anything but gay for each other. The only time you'd see them as canon gay is in doujins or fanfics.

Hence, you'd only get canon gay couples from series that have been labelled as BL. Luckily, it's no longer a reasonable thing to do in 2021 onwards.

So, thanks to this new golden era of BL or LGBTQA+ representation, since there are so many quality works to indulge yourself, the Junjou Romantica series is getting outdated. I believe alot of the new generation haven't even heard of it ahahaha. When compared to other BL, I'll admit that Junjou won't even fit to be the best or the worst. I'm not saying that Junjou is bad, but it's simply because there are so many BL works now compared to in 2000s. To the point I bet they would discover Junjou because of sheer luck.

Now, I'll get to the point. Why I still love Romantica through these years? Well, just because there are more and newer BLs, doesn't necessarily mean that it is better. While it's true that there are stuff that other BLs do better such as the plot, the characters, and the art, there's something that Romantica does better than others too, in my opinion. That is, Misaki and Akihiko's dynamic.

I love how Misaki and Akihiko are characters of their own whilst loving each other very much. In many BLs I've seen, the dynamic doesn't feel equal, where the MC is generally too busy to think about the ML most of the time (to those who are unfamiliar, it's referring to the main love interest), whereas the ML serves no other purpose to the story other than being the MC's love interest. In comparison, as the MC, Misaki's POV is always 90% USAGI-SAN USAGI-SAN USAGI-SAN in every chapter although he faces different problems every single time. As for Akihiko, yea he loves Misaki so much but his character arc isn't limited to that. As outdated as the series would be, this aspect of their relationship, will always be timeless to me.

I've grown to love them so much, that I'll get happy from merely seeing them. Yea I do understand that others will get disappointed of the slow and repetitive plot, the bad art, not to mention after waiting for months for the update, spending money to get it... but all I think when looking at new acts is "OMG it's my babies I miss them so much T-T".

So yea, that's it. I don't ask much, I just want to see Misaki and Akihiko, and nothing more.

[maximumsunshine]

I still remember the first time someone came out to me a little over 20 years ago. We were both in the 9th or 10th grade and he was so scared because it was the 90's maybe 2000 at the latest and I hadn't really expressed thoughts on like Queerness and I was not yet aware I was a lesbian so for all he knew I was an ally at best and his worst nightmare at worst. But we were friends and I gave off safe vibes, I guess. So he came out over instant messenger.

And he built it up as this big huge potentially horrible thing he had to tell me. Just a serious amount of build up. I was prepared to learn where the bodies were hidden, build up. Then finally he goes, "I'm gay." And my first instinct was typed out and it was, "Ok? So? Is that it?" I was still suspicious there might be bodies and maybe this was like back story? And he follows up with something about Matthew Sheppard and how unsafe it was to be out as a gay boy. So I validate his fear in general but I calmed his fear about me. Because I really didn't fucking care if he was gay or straight so long as he was a good friend, and he was, and that was that.

Later I learned his dad was now his aunt whom lived in the basement. I didn't really have strong opinions on that either beyond general happiness that at least they still had a relationship.

Anyway, I haven't spoken to Marcus in over a decade. But there are days where I think about him a lot. Especially as I started exploring my own gender and sexuality in my late 20's and early 30's. I hope wherever he is, he is happy. 15 year old Marcus was depressed and scared. Hopefully nearly 40 year old Marcus has joy and love.

A lot has changed in the past 20 years. Now my 10yo is out to his entire school as a trans boy. And my 13yo is openly pan at his school. There is still a lot of ground to cover, but I think the Zoomers will be able to pick up where Gen X and Millennials leave off and I think they will help achieve things we could never dream of in the year 2021. I'm very excited to live through the changes to come.

[boreal-sea]

TL;DR: You know jack fucking shit.

You are wrong and you do not know your queer history.

Queer was reclaimed by the community as a whole in the 1980's, which was 40 years ago. You want to pretend queer still means what it meant in 1960?

Sure, it was a derogatory term for gay men... but it was also reclaimed by them at the same time it was being used as a slur, because that's how this works. That's how this has always worked.

The meanings of words change! Language evolves!

Moving on. Cis lesbians never owned butch or femme; these terms don't even originate from the cis lesbian community.

White cis lesbians tried to steal these terms in the 1960's during radical feminism's rise to infamy, when political lesbianism and lesbian separatism became things, when lesbians decided to kick bisexual cis women out too.

This caused long-lasting harm to the queer community we are still trying to recover from.

Queer-hating cis lesbians have been trying to say butch and femme belong to them for decades now, and the rest of the queer community has been telling you to shut the fuck up about it.

Butch gay men exist. Femme gay men exist. Butches and femmes have been participating in ball culture and drag culture for longer than you've likely been alive.

Admittedly, y'all managed to convince a few young kids of this shit in the early 2000's, mostly online. But if you haven't noticed, there's been a huge wave of online reclaiming of those terms and taking them back to where they belong: in the hands of everyone in the queer community, not just cis lesbians.

The queer community is full of hurt people.

This can lead to a knee-jerk reaction when we hear someone else say "I am hurt". We look at them and say "shut up, you're not as hurt as me because you have X privilege".

This leads to femme afab queers being told "you can pass and hide as cishet, you're not as hurt as queer women who look queer, you're just complying with the patriarchy's ideals for beauty, you're hurting the queer community, you're anti feminist."

It leads to masc afab people, whether trans men or nonbinary or genderqueer etc, being told everything from "you're not as hurt, you can pass as a cis man" to "you have no desire to transition, you still look like a girl, shut up".

It leads to trans amab people who are nonbinary or genderqueer or agender etc, who still dress or look "masculine", being told that they are "unsafe" for queer spaces, that they don't belong at a "women and nonbinary meeting", that they are "basically just cis men trying to escape accountability".

It leads to asexuals being told "you don't even feel sexual attraction, the thing we're ostracized for! how could you possibly be oppressed? You're just straight and a prude" and aromantics being told "you're just straight and like casual sex, get over yourself" and both being told "you're just a cishet who wants to steal resources".

I have heard every single kind of queer person say "I have been harmed and ostracized by the queer community". Lesbians, gay men, bisexuals and mspec people, trans people, aroace people - every single one of us has expressed feeling ostracized by our own community.

On the plus side, this means you're not alone. Your group isn't the only one facing this. You have allies!! Other queer people who have gone through what you've gone through!

We need queer unity. We need to stop attacking each other. If you feel the urge to say "shut up, my group has been hurt MORE", go take a walk. Remember that every single one of us has been hurt.

[scissoringsappho]

2000 years later and lesbians haven't changed a bit.

[anilengka]

Dark Angel Ramblings

~ 20 Years Late ~

Pilot & Episode 1

Set in Seattle in the post apocalyptic future year 2019 (as imagined in Y2K). That alone is a lot to process and I don't think I'm done yet. The music that plays on the menu of the DVDs sends me before I even start an episode. The clothing is that wonderful blend of 1990s and 2000s I remember with a few of the costumes aging well and others absolutely not aging well, but the ones that didn't age well are the best.

Protagonist Max (Jessica Alba) is a bioengineered human chimera designed for warfare, but she escaped as a child and her goal is to find the others who escaped with her. Otherwise, all she wants is to stay safe and avoid interfering in anything that might get her into trouble.

Enter Logan Cale (Michael Weatherly, (I almost didn't watch the show because of the lawsuit, but here we are and he's 20 years younger and attractive, so whatever, maybe I'll get over it)) the "last free voice in the city" activist known to the public as "Eyes Only". Max gets caught trying to rob him and he offers her a job which she turns down due to her desire not to get involved in things that could get her caught. Pilot shenanigans happen to get her to change her mind (somewhat) and she ends up working with him in exchange for his help finding her fellow escapees. Logan becomes paralyzed in the pilot.

Notes:

Max is *tiny*. It makes the fight scenes a combination of funny because of physics, but also super satisfying because I also would like to throw a man 3 times my size across the room with no noticeable effort.

There are side effects to the genetic engineered super powers. Max has seizures (which are cut with flashbacks to the escape) which haven't been explained yet. And due to her cat DNA (which enables at least some of her abilities) she goes into heat 3 times a year. This doesn't seem to be a huge issue for her though because even though the episode was titled "Heat," she was only affected for a few scenes in the beginning.

I remember from the bits and pieces I watched as a kid that Max and Logan are a ship that I'm supposed to notice. Not sure how far it's going to go, but it's already getting teased. As a kid I was totally on board because of course I always ship the thing. Now I'm not sure yet, but we'll see.

Other characters:

ORIGINAL CINDY: Original Cindy is Max's friend and is a black lesbian. We know this from the very beginning and I've already checked, she's in every episode. I'm VERY impressed for a 20 year old show. Everything about her is great.

Kendra: Max's roommate. She teaches Japanese to children. Questioned why Max was nice to the police officer they pay to stay in the "vacant" building. Max spits in the coffee she offers him every week. All is well between the roommates (as long as Kendra doesn't use Max's bike as a clothesline for her underwear).

Other main/recurring characters are more men and I don't feel like talking about them much and I haven't remembered their names yet. They include: 1. Max's boss who is a jerk. 2. Max's coworker who was cheating on his girlfriend and Max helped him out but then proceeded to threaten him so... I guess I'm supposed to tolerate him maybe? 3. The bad guy who ran the facility where Max was created/born and is now trying to catch her and the others.

[emzymakesbelieve]

not to be fake deep but let's talk about all your old walt babies that you haven't mentioned (because i love the hainline's okay and you and all your kids and i miss you

Send me an old muse and I’ll gush about them.

oKAY SIT DOWN AND BUCKLE UP, KIDDOS.

(I love you, too, sweet pea.  *smooch*)

Frank Hainline

So Frank is a prick, to start off, but he’s my prick and you’re not allowed to trash talk him without my say so (which of course you have because he’s A PRICK).  He was the kind of kid who wore an anarchy symbol on his jacket but never actually did anything to represent or invoke anarchy.  He’s also a gigantic slut and can’t keep his pants zipped for longer than ten minutes.  Fidelity is not this man’s middle name (*CoUgH* illegitimate child he never knew about).  He definitely wasn’t ready to become a father when Victoria got pregnant (and more or less trapped him into marriage), but by the time baby Penelope came, he devoted every ounce of energy he could to making sure she had a good life, and the two of them actually grew very close.  He passed away from cancer when Penelope was about ten.

Norma Hainline

Penelope’s eldest.  The two most important things you need to know about Norma are that she’s a dancer and she’s gay as a maypole.  Her main focuses are tap and ballet.  She loves old Hollywood - she got her start watching Singin’ in the Rain and Fred & Ginger films - but definitely prefers to live in the here and now where she can express herself both as an artist and as a lesbian.  The dance world, much as she loves it, is a crusty old institution that needs to break some pointless rules and get over itself.  She is also Grade A Mom Friend Extraordinaire™.  Her love language is definitely acts of service, particularly making sure you’re eating and sleeping well and taking your medicine on time (though turns out she’s a terrible patient herself).  Much to her frustration, her two closet friends - Noah and Nick - are both more or less bent on self destruction and driving her completely bonkers, but she loves them just the same.

Francis Hainline

Francis, the third eldest, has no business being in this family with how shy he is, but nevertheless.  Definitely the black sheep of the family, but his siblings defend and support him with everything they have.  (Well, Kath usually does it with a lot of sarcasm, but you can tell she loves him.)  He’s a total hipster and has a special love for anything that was built before the year 2000.  His prize possession is an old camcorder that uses real VHS tapes, so naturally he becomes a film student.  I envision him growing up and working as a cinematographer and eventual director of poignant indie films and documentaries - stuff with lots of lingering, fly-on-the-wall shots.  Also, special shoutout to Seraphina, the love of his got dang life.  Those two gave me so many freaking cavities with their cuteness.

Kathleen Hainline

So Kath is a mess, but that’s just par for the course in this family, I suppose.  She’s the baby of the family and has always felt like she’s living in her sister Norma’s shadow.  She’s a bit of a wild child, but certainly not to the extent Victoria was.  It’s all just a cry for attention, trust me.  She wants to feel needed, she wants to feel wanted, she wants to feel special.  And anything that takes the attention of the people she loves off of her needs to die, plain and simple.  She’s best friends with Daisy and is technically endgame with Jonas (though we really didn’t get to write them that far), so here goes a prayer candle for my lovely Becca.

Dory Novak

As you can probably guess by the name, Dory is based on that delightful blue tang we know and love.  In the Walt universe, she developed her short term memory loss after an accident that killed her parents, and was adopted by Marlin.  She loves swimming and her family and especially anything combining the two.  She’s a freaking sweetheart who is actually pretty hard on herself, and it was so heartbreaking to play her in any kind of stressful situation because five minutes later she would still be freaked out by have no idea as to why (looking at you, Scream event).  Also, Scooby liked her a lot and I felt so freaking blessed???  She ends up becoming a social worker and helping kids in the foster system like her.

Charlie Harper & Jenny Harper née Parkington

I never got to properly play Dory’s parents, but here’s the fast and skinny on them.  Jenny was a shy bookworm who never thought boys would be interested in her and (for the most part) had made peace with that theory.  Charlie was a jock who was head over heels for Jenny but never knew how to communicate it without being a sleaze.  Eventually, he manages to ask her out, she says yes, and they pretty much become attached at the hip.  She comes to his basketball games and swim meets decked out in the school colors and cheering like a maniac.  My guess is Dory came a little earlier than they were expecting, but not so early that it would be considered scandalous - probably when they were almost finished with college or something.  Dory became their world and they spoiled that little girl beyond belief.  Unfortunately, both of them were killed in a car wreck when Dory was very little.

Marlene Novak

Dory’s first kid, adopted.  To sum it up nicely, Marlene’s a hot mess because she was never able to come to terms with the fact that her birth mother didn’t want her.  I tried to start this whole plot where she ran into her birth mother just out in the wild and that made her get even messier, but I think I was just throwing crap on the fire to see what blew up at that point.  She also has a…flirtatious arrangement, shall we say, with her friend Viv.

Lyle Novak

Dory’s second kid, also adopted.  *sigh*  Lyle, Lyle, Lyle…  He’s a cutie, don’t get me wrong, but I feel like I didn’t give his character enough punch?  He just seems kind of blah now that I look back at him.  I have a history of being super self conscious about my male characters if they don’t have like a Super Archetype personality for some freaking reason, and Lyle is definitely an example of that.  He’s a little shy, but not so shy that it’s endearing, and he’s also a little courageous, but not so courageous that he actually gets crap done.  He’s a little complacent, looking back on him, which is kind of the opposite of how I wanted to play him...?  I dunno.  Maybe I’m being too harsh on myself.  HE’S CUTE.  LIFE GOES ON.

Cinderella Tremaine

To the surprise of absolutely no one, I’ve actually played a Cinderella counterpart in a few different groups, but let’s just talk about how I portrayed her at Walt.  French transfer student in America (I changed her to straight up American after a point) who loves animals arguably more than life itself and tries her best not to cry over things she can’t control.  She’s also daydreamy as FRICK.  Loves to get lost in her own imagination.  If she’s not engaged in conversation or work of some kind, I can guarantee you her conscience isn’t even on this plane.  Also, can I just shriek about the superhero AU version of her where she was a counterpart to Zatanna and literally became her own fairy godmother?  Because I think about that far more than is probably healthy.

Emmett Tremaine & Johanna Tremaine née Cartier

Same thing as Dory’s parents, just gonna give you a quick lowdown.  Johanna came from a fairly well off family in France (distantly related to those guys, but far enough away that it doesn’t really count), but her parents thought she was an absolute embarrassment.  She was never afraid to speak her mind when it came to things like etiquette and politics, and she had a fabulously wild imagination.  She never stopped believing in fairies, ghosts, gremlins, things like that.  Emmett was that quiet nerd dreamer type, very much obsessed with travel and history.  And like I need to spell it out for you, but they were LUDICROUSLY in love with each other.  Like, nauseatingly so.

Robby Tremaine

Robby is Cindy’s son I whipped up real quick one next gen when I was going crazy and wanted to snatch Nick Robinson’s beautiful face.  He’s a hardcore farm boy who doesn’t mind a little mud behind his ears and super environmentally conscious.  Not just recycling and veganism and all that, but he will go off on you about sustainable farming and animal raising, and how the hydrogen fuel cell is the way of the future.

Taige Bailey

Based on Terk from Tarzan, Taige is a super jock, total butch lesbian, and altogether DUMBNUT.  Like, GOD she’s so stupid sometimes because she just barrels into crap with reckless abandon and doesn’t think things through.  Dear God, she will PUNCH you if you so much as look at her funny, just ‘cause she feels bored.  And she walks around like she’s God’s gift to creation, but she’s just a little twerp.  But she’s my twerp.  (Huh.  I’m just now realizing how similar Taige and Pen are.  In a weird way, Taige is like the tomboy version of Pen.)  Here, you can imagine me lighting a prayer candle because I never got to play her against her two best friends and I’m SAD.  Y’ALL NEVER GOT TO EXPERIENCE THE TOUR DE FORCE THAT IS T CUBED.  Also *cough* she and Vitani may have had a *coUGH* flirtationship.

I would also put Taige’s parents on this list, but they’re so hardly even developed that it’s not really worth mentioning them.  I only know their names: Lamarr and April.

Jared Bailey

Taige’s only child, Jared’s still trying to figure out what masculinity means to him, what with being raised by two women and all.  He can get a little “dudebro alpha male” sometimes, but he’s also that kid you definitely want to have your back when things get rough.  He’ll help you with your homework, teach you how to shoot a three-pointer, and walk you home when it’s dark like the gentleman he is.

[moonage-nightterrors]

lmao its actually not that long it has to be btwn 5-7 pages (which idk how i'm gonna manage to condense it into that), i'm just doing a hyper-specific topic that hasn't really been done before so i have to do a shit ton of work. i talked to my teacher about my topic and he said that it would be really time consuming but worth it for the payoff, which i've roughly translated from teacher-speak to mean that it'll be incredibly interesting but i'm gonna wanna kill myself by the end of it soooo

Anyways, I have some articles for you! They're all academic papers I found on JSTOR so they're all really, really specific and are historical arguments, idk if you're into that, but i think they're rlly cool.

So these three i found and look so fucking interesting but they're just not relevant to my topic and i don't have time to read them (but i will eventually):

The Pink Triangle and Political Consciousness: Gays, Lesbians, and the Memory of Nazi Persecution https://www.jstor.org/stable/3704560 (this is like, the #1 article i want to read but i just don't have time and its like 30 pages long)

Out of the Closets, into the Woods: "RFD", "Country Women", and the Post-Stonewall Emergence of Queer Anti-Urbanism https://www.jstor.org/stable/40068466

An Obscure Form of Protest: Politicized Pleasure, Gay Liberation and "Hair: The American Tribal Love-Rock Musical" https://www.jstor.org/stable/45294415

and here's some stuff i'm actually using/planning on using:

Crossing over into Neighbourhoods of the Body: Urban Territories, Borders and Lesbian-Queer Bodies in New York City http://www.jstor.org/stable/24812219. this one i've actually close read and it's rlly impt to my topic, so i find it rlly interesting, but idk what you'd think of it reading it not in that context

The Personal Experience of Community Among Urban Gay Men, Lesbians, and Bisexuals: Melting Pot or Mosaic https://www.jstor.org/stable/26612188. i have not looked into this one much, but my history teacher sent it to me and said it was interesting soo

The History of Lesbian History https://www.jstor.org/stable/23720195. i've looked at the intro to this and it looks interesting if you want some modern lesbian history

IF ITS NOT CLEAR, I have not read most of these. i have skimmed a few of them and others I have not looked at beyond the title/abstract. i have more that i have found that i'm unsure about, so i haven't put them here, but i'll rb this with them if they turn out to be good. and also, absolutely no pressure to read any of them, i am shoving a lot of these at you and they are long. they're also fairly old (most of them are from the 2000s/2010s) so keep that in mind and look at the dates for them, a lot of the ones i've read connect what they're analyzing to the present, except when they're written 20 years ago that changes things lol

i hope you like them?

and ty for the encouragement! i prob won't publish it, but i'm hopeful. and i hope once school's out you get to commit to some cool books, that'll be fun!

have a good day!!

how’d ya history paper go?

it’s… going. it’s not due till the end of the school year so i have like three more weeks but the sheer amount of research i’m having to do is insane. i will be holed up in my room all weekend going thru online archives and JSTOR articles, but it’s also really fucking interesting so its not so bad. history’s my jam so im actually kinda enjoying it lol

i could rant abt this paper for ages, it’s consuming my life but also im kinda hoping to get it published so i don’t want to talk abt it too much online (very low change that’ll work out but we’ll see)

also!! lmk if you want cool articles about queer history i am amassing a collection. i know you’re interested in queer history and that happens to be what the paper’s about :)

[suesheroll]

1, 20, 36, 37, and one more that you really want to answer but haven't been asked!

1. 6 songs tou listen to most

Nooowwww this is a bit of an embarrassing list.

✨Fine China by Lana del Rey (unreleased but its had a hold on me for about 6 years now)

✨Shades of Cool by Lana del Rey (I’m a lesbian but when she sings about dilfs I pretend I’m a 25 year old pining for a 60 year old dude and no one is allowed to judge me)

✨Chelsea Hotel no 2 by Lana del Rey (its cover of a song by Leonard Cohen but she doesn’t change any of the lyrics so it almost sounds like she’s singing it for a woman {HM WHERE HAVE WE SEEN THAT BEFORE, MR. GIRLCRUSH STYLES} and that’s been very important for my gay evolution)

Ok not all of them are Lana JESUS

✨Beautiful War by Kings of Leon (but the Louis Tomlinson cover. The tender lyrics coupled with his sweet soft rasp is just a balm to my soul)

✨Two Ghosts by Harry Styles (I’d found this song way before I knew who Harry was except ex one direction member let alone know what Larry was. So I’d made the song my own. I found it at a time I had just begun to feel distanced from myself and was beginning to feel like I was changing but for the worse. The lyrics “we’re not who we used to be, we’re just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty trying to remember what it feels to have a heartbeat” just spoke to my internal chasm)

✨Maaeri by Euphoria (its an Urdu song, romantic, sweet and nostalgic in the way only early 2000s music is. My mom used to love it and sing along to it offkey so I love it for her I think)

HOLYYYY MOLLLYYYYY did u ask for a psychoanalysis of these songs? Nope. Did I provide it anyways? HEHE

I’ll do the rest in another post this is too loonggggg I have diarrhoea of the brain

[themoreyousaylessiknow]

I have a best friend. I met her in 2000 while I'm taking English course and we're from different school. For no reason we haven't spoken for almost 10 years but still have each others contact on BBM at the moment. We're still friends on facebook.

We start to talk again after 10 years of silence. Since then, we're getting close again. We spent almost every night just to have a cup of coffee at a cafe and talk about anything, just two of us. We put our cellphone on the table. Some people thought we're sisters or twin. Lol.

Our routine stops when she's got a scholarship for her post-graduate to Japan. Woah, I'm so happy for her. She got the scholarship after beating hundreds people that joined the test in her first shot (her friends tried so many times and failed). Now she's back to Indonesia after finished her study in Japan.

She's the best friend I've ever had. Never judge me, always support me. Never put her knife on my back. When my ex-school sweetheart contact me again and ask me to marry him, and I said no, I told her about it. It happens when she's in Japan. And she knows my ex because they're at the same school in senior year.

When she's back to Indonesia, she ask me when exactly my ex contacted me again. And she told me based on timelines, my ex run after her. After I said no, he's tried to chasing my bestfriend. And he's shocked after my bestfriend told him that she's my bestfriend. Lol. He never knew about that and seriously making a big mistake. My bestfriend said, "I don't like him, narcisict man I ever met. Other reason, he's your ex. My bestfriend's ex."

She asked me why I said no to his proposal. I said that I have no feeling anymore for him. He's just my ex-school sweetheart. And of course I lied. Nah! That's not the reason. The truth is I'm a lesbian. But, no, I'm not telling that to her. Because she doesn't know that I'm a lesbian.

I've been thinking about coming out to her since 2 years ago. But I'm scared. I'm scared to her reaction. Does she will walk away from me? Leaving me alone? Angry at me? Mad at me? Yelling at me? Cursing me? I'm so confused. I just don't feel right to hiding this from her for 15 years (I realize that I'm lesbian and started dating a woman in 2006). So, a few days ago, I decided to tell her about my sexuality by chat. This pandemic so argh.

Well, surprise!

She didn't believe it at first. She said maybe I'm wrong at indentified my sexuality. Maybe I just feel comfort and being too closed to other girls but not a lesbian like I said. I laughed and said, I won't kiss my friends on the lips. She laughed and said, okay, now I believed you. She told me that it doesn't change anything between us. I'm still her bestfriend. She won't judging me.

"I don't know what to say. Usually, I always pray for the best. This is wrong, so wrong. But you're my bestfriend, so I hope you have a longlasting relationship for you and your girlfriend. A happy relationship."

At the moment, I feel so happy and so thankful to have her as my bestfriend.

Have I ever loving her more than bestfriend? As a girl? Nope. I never ever ever have a feeling to my straight friends. Lol. I lie. No, no, I really mean it when I say never fall in love with my bestfriend, but I ever fall in love with a straight girl. And that girl never know about this. It's kinda embarassing to me when she know about it.

Okay, enough for now. I'll tell you another story.

[fellowlesbian]

I'm bored so all of my followers are going to suffer through me answering each and every one of these. I don't care that this is supposed to be an ask game, I'm bored now and I'm answering them all now.

1. Oh god. Merida, maybe? I didn't watch anything often for the years before I knew I was gay (I still don't, but quarantine is changing that) so idk. I always thought Merida was badass though.

2. PB&J. Melted cheese literally makes me puke.

3. Markiplier. Usually I find a collab video, so it's just all chaos.

4. I'm underage by many years, but out of all the alcohol I've tried I only liked chestnut bourbon or something like that.

5. My knee-high leather boots. They're fucking loud but I love them.

6. As much as I want to, I haven't tried many. I've had Mexican (sooo much beans) and Asian rice, but not much else.

7. I don't fucking know, and neither do my parents.

8. None. I'm too young to have had a job

9. My lamps been on for the past half an hour without me noticing.

10. Nothing signed. I wish, though.

11. The same way I do any other day.

12. On my bagels? Nothing. Love some cinnamon bagels, though. Panera bagels are the best.

13. Thin pretzels. We have like thirty little pouches of them in the pantry.

14. Not a mug, but I did a pottery piece once of a dragon foot holding a cup. I call it my goblet :)

15. I don't drink coffee.

16. Tell me how did we get here; and where the fuck do we go now - Rock Bottom, Grandson

17. Fruity

18. The only shows I watch are Game of Thrones and The 100, and I'm ashamed of neither

19. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley

20. No

21. I used to take lessons! I still would, if we hadn't moved. I miss my boys :(

22. I mean, I still am younger, but only a few months ago I fell out of my Percy Jackson phase. I also had a time where I was horse girl.

23. I'm not even sixteen, that would be an accomplishment. But no.

24. Love them. We use ours to play Scrabble and spin it around the table.

25. If I have the time.

26. Lemonade. I could fucking live on lemonade.

27. Teen section because, well, I've said it before.

28. Geography. I've got all 196 countries down, now we're moving on to capitols

29. The Score. Love their stuff.

30. Ooh, idk. With the dinosaurs, probably

31. I have a formal shirt that I love but it's, you know, a formal shirt.

32. Rainbows. I'm gay, what do you expect

33. Snake. I love snakes, and I want a ton of them.

34. Neither, really. I have one of my pieces, a design piece, and my Hamilton playbill/ticket.

35. I'm not well-versed in memes, but the toothless 'wtf' face. On my bicep, probably

36. A sidekick? Can I pick Harley? She's a Villain sidekick (in the originals, at least)

37. Lakes

38. I was born in the mid-2000's, idk

39. The same as I would otherwise. If I didn't like with my family, I'd probably be wearing pants, a bra, and maybe a light shirt

40. Beside the table on the couch in our sunroom

41. Knives.

42. Ooh. Sarcasm by Get Scared, probably

43. Sleeping Beauty. For a few reasons ;)

44. 'Explanation of why these are so bad' kind of captions

45. Lesbian-american vine. We all know why

46. I don't have to do this yet, but I would probably stock up on the freezer chicken nuggets because I know I won't be cooking anything more complex than some chicken nuggets

47. Nothing, normally, but maybe some cookie crumbles

48. Too weird

49. Oooh, idk. That I took? The fox, maybe. Otherwise? Just nature. I love nature

50. I like to think I'm good lmao

If you actually read all that, good for you! I probably wouldn't have. You get a cookie.

Now do this yourself because no one has anything better to do.

Quarantine Asks: Questions You Usually Wouldn’t Think of Asking But You’re Bored AF

Animated character that was your gay awakening?

Grilled cheese or PB&J?

What show/YouTube video(s) do you put on in the background when you when you don’t have anything to watch but you want something on?

Your go-to bar order, if you drink?

What’s your favorite pair of shoes that you own?

Top three cuisines?

What was your first word as a child (that wasn’t a variation of “Mom” or “Dad”)?

What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had?

Look up. What’s directly across from you?

Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general?

Preferred way to spend a rainy day?

What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted?

Brunch or midnight snacks?

Favorite mug you own

What coffee drink would you describe yourself as?

Pick a song lyric to describe your current mood (and drop the name and artist!)

Fruity or herbal teas?

What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless?

That book you were forced to read for class but actually ended up enjoying?

Do you match your socks?

Have you ever been horseback riding?

What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc)

Have you ever been to jail?

What’s your opinion on Lazy Susan’s (the spinning tray in the middle of tables)?

Puzzles?

You can only have one juice for the rest of your life, what is it?

What section do you immediately head for when you walk into a bookstore?

What’s one thing you’re trying to learn/relearn in your downtime right now?

Who’s your go-to musical artist when you’re feeling upbeat?

Where could someone find you in a museum?

What’s that one outfit in your closet you never get the chance to wear but want to?

Rainbows, stars, or sunset colored clouds?

If you could own any non-traditional pet (dogs, cats, fish, rodents, etc), what would it be?

Do you have more art on your walls or more photographs?

You have to get one meme tattooed on your body, what meme is it and where does it go?

Pick a superhero sidekick to hang out with

Lakes, rivers, or oceans?

Favorite mid-2000s song

How do you dress when you’re home alone?

Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)?

Knives or swords?

A song you didn’t think you’d enjoy but ended up loving

Pick an old-school Disney Channel Original Movie

Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online?

Name a classic Vine

What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store?

How do you top your ice cream?

Do you like Jello?

What’s something that you don’t have a picture of that you wish you did?

How are you at climbing trees?

[juwon-ah-moved]

Ooohh, I'm super curious what you think of the book Graceling!!! I read it years ago and remember liking it then, but haven't revisited it since and I'm wondering if you think it holds up these days!

hi friend!! okay so saying i'm currently reading graceling is not 100% correct because i put it on pause for a bit because i got stuck and when that happens it's better if i put the book down for a while since i risk not reading anything at all

but anyway i'm like halfway through so i do have some thoughts. the worldbuilding is not bad, and i like the concept of some people having special powers and being recognizable by their eye colors and i also find katje (apparently they changed her name in the italian translation??) katsa very interesting. i Love characters who are made to do terrible things by powerful people who either force them or brainwash them (or something of the sort) and then break free from them. like the power that the Bad People have used til now to make them do awful things... now being used over the bad people by the character themselves? absolutely great trope.

i have to say, the book can be a bit boring so far, i don't mind when there's little action but i felt it dragged in some parts. now where it began losing me was when the love story started being... center of the story. i like both the mc and her love interest, but i just don't care about them together tbh and i think katsa would've been better single and/or a lesbian. it's Literally right there in the text that she's never been interested in boys or marriage !!!! i guess i understand that she was adverse to it partially because she was feared by everyone and so she rarely formed attachment to anyone and when she meets po he looks her in the eyes and is never afraid of her and that makes her like him. but i still hate the trope of Girls Isn't Interested in Boys........ Until She Meets The One. like it can be done well, yes, but in most ya books it annoys me sorry sjdsk and in general when it's straight i don't like the ‘finding the one’ trope lmao

anyway yeah the point is i'm not invested in the romance and i'm at the part where katsa and po have embarked in their journey together and i got tired of them being together and that's literally all there is to the plot at this point. i'm hoping the actual plot of who kidnapped the dude and all that develops soon so that when i pick the book back up it's easier to finish it! actually now i kinda wanna try it again sjdskm idk though, i haven't been feeling like reading :(

so long story short: it's interesting and i like the power system, i just don't care about the romance. also, it does read a lot like the 2000s ya fantasy that it is, which is to be expected so i don't mind, but it can be a turn off for sure. we'll see how it goes in the 2nd half of the book!

thank you for the question :) have a good day/night!!

[hondacivictrucknuts]

"Identifying as" is for ______s. But perhaps I just say that because I feel politically homeless these days.

In my adult life, I have voted for gay rights, against war, for redistributive taxation and other policies to promote economic equality, against anti-blackness, and for women's ability to get abortions.

Until a few years ago, that always meant voting Democratic. I support legal abortion less than I used to, and my economic views have reverted to a more holistic approach. Other than that my politics haven't changed too much.

Things that have changed:

Gay rights is done. Between Obergefell and the last decades' cultural changes, gay Americans are generally doing fine. I remember attending the ordination of a lesbian priest in the nineties when that was a big deal, so the extent of progress is obvious to me.

Obama got elected as the anti-war candidate and didn't stop any of the wars. War, particularly in the Middle East, ceased to be something we could vote against.

Steve Bannon repackaged the Nader 2000 anti-globalization platform as economic nationalism.

The last of the really racist Republicans in national politics died or retired (e.g. Strom Thurmond), while a new generation of Black activists have pointed out numerous problems caused by the actions of Democratic politicians. So racism isn't really on the ballot anymore, either.

The Kavanaugh hearings convinced me that if one fights too hard for abortion, one risks losing one's humanity.

So, while I'm still a registered Democrat, I've run out of reasons to prefer that Democrats get elected.

In 2018, I voted for a Republican for the first time, when I cast a meaningless spite vote against my Democratic Senator.

There's other deeper stuff at play that I've written about here, like my declining faith in neo-liberalism and materialism, and my discovery of the Claremont Review of Books.

Perhaps I was better prepared for Trump than most of my peers on the left because back in the Obama administration, I read I'm building a rape tunnel by the Last Psychiatrist, which concludes:

To everyone else not intent on destroying our civilization to sell copies, there's this advice:

When you find yourself hating someone (who did not directly hurt you) with blinding rage, know for certain that it is not the person you hate at all, but rather something about them that threatens your identity.  Find that thing.  This single piece of advice can turn your life around, I guarantee it.

Based on several years of experience with a sizeable control group, I can tell you this advice works wonders.