#2) roy is being dramatic

[rizaposting]

i would also love to know more about your 03 project that i have seen you mention a couple times 👀 Is it something you are drawing or writing¿

Ahh! Man I wish I had more to show for it, but I've basically been thinking about it non-stop for the past several months. I wanted to get it started this year for the 20th anniversary but the latter half of 2023 was chaotic because I moved. o|-<

It's nothing too groundbreaking, just my attempt at reconciling what happened between the end of the anime to Roy deciding he was going to go be emo in the mountains, address what little we saw of them in CoS and how I think they would reconcile, and then also explore what their life together would look like afterwards...

I think it's going to be 3 multi-chapter pieces of writing with supplemental art. It's mostly Riza-focused (because she is my little el wiwi) but I also want to give Roy a fair shake and address the Crippling Mental Illness they both have refused to acknowledge. There will be plenty of angst and me putting Riza through Situations and making her the most miserable she's ever been in her whole life, but it's to highlight her character growth and experiences, and there will be a happy ending. Because I think making them struggle and suffer for nothing goes against FMA's themes, and I'm a sap and want Riza to get all the kisses in the world because she deserves them.

I don't have very much to show for it, but here's a half-finished WIP from way earlier in the year about Roy not wanting Riza to see his wounds

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

If Chase and First were students at Norrisville High and First became the ninja, then Chase found out, what do you think would happen? What would their relationship have been before and what would it be after Chase finds out?

OHOHOHOO OK that would actually make such an interesting AU!!!

Oh man, oh man so many possibilities, but I just can imagine it like this:

First and Chase are sort of sports rivals of the school, and Chase is sort of a bully type of rival, constantly trying to provoke the new student First to some sort of test of skills. Chase just gives off that vibe of popular jock, that is a big deal in school and everyone adores him (but he is acting chill outward, while inward he is loving all the attention because he believes he deserves it - he's got a big head about it like Omi lol), so when he sees the more reserved First who is clearly a hidden gem that not many pay attention to and that First in turn really doesn't care about popularity and more importantly how popular Chase is, he just gets so ticked off he starts to bug First. But their relationship is more of tentative friends/respecting rivals, with Chase unknowingly developing a crush on First and First is just constantly wondering why is Chase wasting his time on him, when First is just trying to quietly get through high school.

SO! When First becomes a Ninja (btw I imagine its more like a reincarnation trope - where First actually came back from his previous life/is descendand of the 'First' in this AU) he is now forced to get into spotlight as this mythical protector, which is absolutely NOT how First imagined his hs experience! And as the result, he starts to get less free time for many other things, which includes his rivalrly (however one-sided) with Chase. Which in turn would kinda freak Chase out, because his best friends (Guan, Dashi and sorta Wuya?) seem to already distancing themselves from teenagish hs life, and he is starting to feel left behind (we all know it wass canon!good!Chase's biggest insecurities) AND now his rival/crush is starting to avoid him for some mysterious reason?? Chase would be tittering on a brink of some big decisions there.

And well, here is where the idea have a couple alternatives that I like:

Scenario 1) - Chase, by spying on First, manages to find out about First being a Ninja, and it will piss him off. Because how is he supposed to be rivals with someone's with supernatural powers?? So he will start to resent First, which would turn into fighting with/outright bullying First. But at the root of all that would be the hurt Chase is feeling over the fact that he could never rival someone with mystical powers and that he would now never be First's equal. The situation would only escalate, when dark forces (Either Sorcerer or someone Heylin), feeling all the negative turbulent emotions in Chase will try to offer him dark powers (either he will turn into a monster through chaos or an underling (like McFist) through other means) and he accepts it because it will give him a chance to be equals with First and a true rival, and it will give him something more in the percieved distancing of his best friends. A lot of dramatic rivals-to-enemies-to-lovers trope moments here!!

Scenario 2) - is where we bring the mix of Xiaolin Showdown canon - which is where coincedentally to First becoming a Ninja, Chase is also discovering new power in himself - the potential of becoming a Xiaolin Dragon. Just like the monks in the show who started to show signs of supernatural powers as his martial skills improved. But instead of being found by Xiaolin and offered a chance at the temple, Heylin found him first! It could be a Hannibal Roy Bean, who discovered presence of an untapped potential in Chase, and using the opportunity he starts to poison Chase's mind about all the same insecurities as in Scenario 1, about his friends and more importantly First. Roy could reveal that First now have an unfair disadvantage in their rivalrly, and that he was getting too far away from Chase, which in turn would push Chase to embrace evil! But instead of being a lackey like in Scenario 1 - he becomes a fuly fledge villain and rival of Ninja, going by a secret villain identity (perhaps the Dragon???).

(As you noticed, I tend to make them rivals/on opposite sides for both scenarios, but that's because i like the tension and angst and drama this trope can provide! xD )

In general I like Scenario 2 more, because it keeps the more equal footing I like to create in this ship. But also because it gives more opportunity for angsty redemption of corrupted Chase, and a couple romantic opportunities! Ngl, I keep imagining a scene, where at the end, where through their combined efforts (and power of love lol) First and Chase free Chase of Roy Bean's influence and corruption, and Chase is offerend to ' be cleansed' and redeem himself at the Xiaolin Temple - which in turn would mean leaving for an unknown amount of time. And they are just standing there in front of each other, both still beat up and hurting physically, but also emotionally because over all the turmoils and trials, they realized that they actually do want to be together but now Chase has to leave and First can't follow to support him because he is stil the Ninja. And then Chase smirks and says that he will be back, and when he will, they would finally settle everything. And then they will kiss. UwU <3<3<3

Also a VERY good opportunity for extra EXTRA angst, if we keep the Mind Wipe canon for this AU, so when Chase comes back after First finished high school, he would be very unpleasantly surprised that First did not remember the promise, so it would be like even more dramatic shennanigans as Chase tries to figure out how to make First remember despite the stupid Ultimate Lesson (perhaps with help of Xiaolin Magicks and some Wus??) and First is like wondering why is his heart hurting so much when a dude that sorta bullied him in high school is bugging him about some sort of promise??

But tbh I also kind of like an idea of First staying the Ninja even after school, for as long as possible, because he is a returned reincarnation of 'First Ninja' so its kinda his divine right/calling, so even when he is a young adult he is protecting Norrisville - and when Chase comes back, they get to live in a dating bliss of two supers protecting a town from monsters. <3 <3 <3

Man... There could also be so many variations for a Modern High School AUs, but these were the ones i got. UwU <3 <3

Thank you so much for this ask!!!! I've been literally going crazy with ideas, which made me giggle madly and nearly burn myself on the stove while i was cooking. xD

[okeiglxg]

5 fanfics about JLA meeting the BatFam with plus one Day 2

------------------------------

Just Here For The Popcorn by Lumeleo

-dick grayson/wally west (bg relationship barry allen/ iris West)

- 1,696 words , 1 chapter

Summary- Some members of the Justice League are worried that Batman might not be able to handle Gotham alone. Batman makes a point of showing them that he is not, in fact, alone. Of course he has to do this in the most dramatic way possible.

Barry's just here for the popcorn. https://archiveofourown.org/works/55824742

---------------------------

google search: are bats mammals? by graveltotempo

-no ships

- 3,255 words, 1 chapter

- batkids de-aged

Summary- Clark liked to think that years of being a superhero and being part of the Justice League had prepared him for everything.

What else could the world throw at him that he hadn’t seen before?

Well, apparently the world could throw Batman walking in with a child in arms, a huge purse on his shoulder, and a gaggle of children chatting and following quick behind him.

Your obligatory 'the batkids get de-aged' fic.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/55251988

-------------------------------

Batman or Batdad? By flowers_must_rot

-clark kent/bruce wayne

- 7,733 words, 7 chapters

Summary- Batman isn't always great at turning off the Batdad, when he's with the JL. This is just a little collection of that.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/53651890?view_full_work=true

--------------------------

Terribly Terrific by orphan_account

-no ships

-8,647 words, 6 chapters

Summary- Hood get's captured by the League while Batman's off-world. what's the worst that can happen?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52810042?view_full_work=true

---------------------------

familiarity by redsray (reigned)

-Jason Todd/ Roy Harper, Dick Grayson/Wally west, Tim Drake/ Kon-El (conner kent)

-12,550 words, 1 chapter

Summary- Roy (5:59pm): JAY

Roy (5:59pm): DID YOU SEND A THREAT TO THE WATCHTOWER

Roy (6:00pm): ?????

The reply came just a minute later, Roy sparing one glance to the chatting Justice League before looking back down.

Jay (6:01pm): Nah

Jay (6:01pm): Was I supposed to?

Jay (6:02pm): Also, that’s not a dinner dish. Try again, Ed Sheeran

Or: How Wally West, Roy Harper, and Kon-El Kent remembered that not everyone just knows the Batfam.

Or or: Three times the Justice League needed Batman but conveniently couldn’t get a hold of him. Good thing he has trained bat associates! Wait, what?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/53177941

----------------------

Plus one

That One's Jason, Right? By batsandthebirds

-No ships

- 11,325 words, 4 chapters

-Dick and Jason get De-aged

Summary- The girl and magic staff were nowhere to be seen, instead a fine layer of blue, shimmering dust covered the ground. In the center, where Red Hood and Nightwing should have been, was what looked like a pile of yellow and black fabric until it started shifting and moving, revealing itself to be two human forms.

Tim stopped dead in his tracks, nearly slipping in the dust, causing Robin — who was apparently right behind him — to crash into his back.

Robin mumbled a few curse words directed at him, but stopped short when he saw what was in front of them.

It was two young boys, both with messy black hair, both covered in a fine layer of glittering blue dust, and both wearing the old Robin costume. It was Dick's design, the brighter one, closer in color to what the Flying Graysons had worn, and with a startling lack of pants. But it was the one that Jason had worn too.

Or, Dick and Jason get de-aged by some magic, assumptions are made, and those assumptions are very, very wrong.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/54131665?view_full_work=true

---------------------

That's all! Please like the post for more recommendations

[albatmobile]

I need another fic where jayroy x reader is in the league for… reasons 🫣

I also now need this 😫

the other fic (x)

a conundrum of redheaded proportions

next: [2] || ao3

𓅪 Rated: E | 4k includes: misunderstandings, confessions, selectively mute!reader, blow jobs, vaginal sex, deep throating, praise kink, spitroasting, begging, lots of smut y'all ur welcome, voyeurism, jealousy, Justice league AU

𓅪 previous hookup fem!reader x jason todd, eventual fem!reader x roy harper, eventual fem!reader x jason todd x roy harper

my Hero OC! Cardinal comes from this series: tumblr [1] [2] | ao3

It's a well-known fact amongst The League that you like redheads.

From your first fling with Wally, drunken kiss with Kori, to your summer romance with Kate and that one-time thing with Jason back when his locks were more fiery than his personality, you’ve always seemed to gravitate towards red. 

Hell, he’d even heard rumors that you’d been in a threesome with Babs and Artemis on your mission to Themyscira a summer or so ago. 

What Roy can’t figure out is why you’ve never even talked to him let alone looked at him.

Is he a defective redhead or something?

Just approach her, they said.

Just introduce yourself, they said.

Well, he’s fucking tried.

You aren’t one to talk in uniform and only the redheads in the league, excluding Roy, know what you look like underneath your infamous, skin-tight burgundy vinyl. 

And then, there you are.

Right in front of him.

Roy doesn’t realize his breath’s stopped until his head begins to feel faint and he’s forced to gulp in air desperately like Spongebob in that one episode.

And then you’re walking toward him.

Jason shifts beside him, but Roy’s more focused on you.

Your hips sway hypnotically with each purposeful step you take closer, pulling Roy deeper into your unforgiving trance.

Your hand makes a tiny wave, so tiny Roy’s sure if he blinked he’d miss it, right at him.

No fucking way.

Roy’s hand shoots up with a nervous wave back that stills as soon as you shoot him a questioning head tilt. He hears the leather of Jason’s jacket shift from behind him and looks just in time to see his friend finish waving at you.

Roy isn’t salty.

“There’s no way she’s hot under that shit,” he mutters lowly to his friend once you’ve passed by.

Roy’s salty.

“I fucked her,” Jason says the statement like it’s an actual response and not just a blatant brag.

“Yeah,” Roy huffs, focusing back on packing up his gym bag, “so?”

“So,” Jason quirks a knowing brow, “you dissing my taste in women?”

“No!” Roy cries out, then slumps back against the locker room bench with a groan. “Is there something wrong with me, Jay? Am I the ugly one?”

“What does your mug being a mess have to do with her?” 

Jason’s never had a quiet voice. His baritone growl always demanded attention whether he meant it to or not. Unfortunately for Roy, this time it seems to have attracted your attention because your usual confident gate stutters just slightly enough for Roy to take notice.

As soon as you’re out of sight, Roy smacks Jason in the arm, yelping slightly when he retaliates with full force. 

“Jesus, dude. You tryin’ to kill me, or something?” Roy groans.

“You tryin’ to offend me, or something?” Jason mocks him.

Roy finishes zipping up his bag with a dramatic zip and huff, “Course not. Sorry, Jaybird.”

Another quick hit to Roy’s already undoubtedly bruised arm.

“Not here,” Jason chastises him, his nose wrinkling easily at the offending nickname. 

Roy watches as he looks towards all the hidden cameras in the room, something they’d both mapped out within the first few days of being welcomed aboard the Watchtower.

“For sure,” Roy agrees distractedly as he catches a glimpse of Barry’s outfit and briefly mistakes it for you. “Sorry, I’m just out of it today.”

“So I see,” Jason says, raising an easy brow. 

“Nothing gets passed you now, eh?” Roy tries to joke but Jason only returns him with a knowing, read: asshole-ish, look like he’s already figured Roy out and, hell, he probably has. He catches a whiff of his uniform and winces, picking distastefully at the fabric on the chest of his sweaty Arsenal getup. “Fuck off, man,” he huffs. “Let’s just eat so we can get the fuck out of these monkey suits.” 

𓅪𓅪𓅪

The cafeteria is nearly empty at this hour, Roy notes with a pleased hum. He quickly becomes distracted, however, by the heavenly smells coming from the kitchen.

Algie and Rita are behind the counter again tonight, so Roy knows the food’s going to be fire. 

“Ladies,” Roy greets playfully with a waggle of his brows at the elderly women. As a result, they award him with an extra scoop of mashed potatoes. Score!

Jason greets them politely before following behind Roy to the closest table.

It’s always quiet around this hour, though it doesn’t mean heroes are necessarily holed up asleep in their rooms. Mission stragglers, graveyard shift Watchtower workers and heroes zeta-tubing in for their debriefs are constantly ongoing. In quiet moments like this, though, Roy really does feel like it’s just him and Jay in space.

“So, you going to tell me what’s been bugging you tonight?” Jason asks though Roy thinks he already knows.

Roy glances around the empty cafeteria, save for a single table taken in the way back, before leaning in to whisper anyway. “It’s that chick.”

Jason shoots the redhead an unimpressed look. “Chick, seriously?” he admonishes Roy.

Roy sighs, pushing around the mashed potatoes on his tray, “I’m not gonna say her name when you already know.”

Jason simply hums in response as he unlocks and removes his helmet to eat.

Roy has never been quiet when it comes to the people he’s interested in and, sure, that’s how it started off with you, but you’re different. 

No, literally, you don’t speak. 

Not that you can’t, per se, just selectively and never to Roy.

Except one time. Your first mission alone with him.

Roy was usually unable to understand your movements, signals and signs outside the costume (not that you were ever caught dead on the Watchtower out of costume). After all the years of battling side by side on missions, Roy knows your battlefield code like the back of his hand. Slight shift of your head to the right: back you up, shift to the left: back up, all the way down to your cute little hand movements that call out battle strategy. 

Quiet but mighty. Never one to mess with. 

Roy knows firsthand.

The one thing he’d never known until that one time, though? Your voice.

It was during the midst of a battle with Enchantress and Gorilla Grodd. You and Roy had been put in charge of reconnaissance for team Alpha when a henchman strayed way too close to the tree Roy was stationed behind. 

You’d clicked your comm button three times to alert Roy, but it was already too late. 

The guard startled and went for his radio, forcing Roy to draw an arrow. Though the hit itself was quiet, the thud of the man’s armored body was loud enough to draw the attention of everyone in the general vicinity. 

Cutely enough, you turned to Roy, watching as he drew his bow and nodded to you as you got into a defensive position. 

He then proceeded to watch you take on tens of henchmen at a time, disarming their guns before they could even aim them. It was a shame that Roy’d been so preoccupied with your safety, no, namely distracted by how the shiny material of your suit stretched across your huge ass, to focus on protecting himself.

Up until that point, everything had been going smoothly. That is, until-

“ROY!”

You weren’t supposed to use names other than alias’ out of the field, but your slip-up had seemed so unintentional he didn’t need to see underneath the mask to know you were panicking. He could hear your regret in your loud silence for allowing your voice to slip through and leak into the chilly night air.

Your body crashed into his with such a ferocious force, that he had no choice but to shift out of the way. He hit the ground and you landed on top of him just in time for him to avoid the deadly ray of Enchantress’ incantation. 

You, however? Not so much. 

By jumping in front of Roy, you’d taken the brunt of the attack practically head-on.

The shock of hearing his name from you lasted mere milliseconds before you were on the ground, screaming bloody murder under the intense pain from the spell you’d just saved Roy from. He’d never thanked you for taking a proverbial bullet of kinds for him, but it wasn’t like he hadn’t at least tried. You’d been conveniently absent from the post-mission debrief and, after checking out the empty med bay, Roy hung around outside the women’s locker room long enough to get booted by a wary Supes. 

Eventually, Roy gave up trying to catch you and, thus, his ‘thank you’ went unsaid.

And now, here you are. Again.

Seeing you twice in one night, Roy feels like he’s hit the jackpot. 

Jason, being the asshole he is, waves you over as soon as his eyes catch yours.

Your thick thighs move languidly, shifting from side to side with each tantalizing sway of your perfect figure. You’re stunning.

Roy clears his throat, coming back down to the present moment just in time for Jason to… introduce the two of you to each other. Huh?

Jason and Roy are the only ones in the cafeteria, Algie and Rita having reverted back to stirring pots in the back kitchen. 

It’d be weird if they made you sit alone, right? 

Right? 

That has to be why Jason is doing all of this.

Your flashy red stops right in front of him before he has a chance to think further on the topic. At this point, you’re close enough that your enchanting perfume has slowly started to invade his senses. Your scent quickly takes complete hold over him, making you the only thing he can focus on.

At Roy’s silent staring, Jason clears his throat, “Roy, meet Cardinal. Cardinal, Roy.”

Even behind the security of his domino mask, Roy can practically see the mirth in the outlaw’s emerald eyes. 

Roy’s completely lost for words. 

Luckily, it doesn’t seem to be an issue with you very much being in the same boat. 

He watches your every minute movement diligently so as not to miss this crucial moment. His eyes openly flick over your curves while your attention is diverted toward the raven-haired man next to you. 

It’s been years since Roy’s been this close to you and he can’t help but greedily drink your hypnotizing presence down to the last drop like a fucking dog. If Elastic Man and Booster Gold hadn’t been occupying the only other table in the cafeteria, Roy would take you right here and now, Jason’s voyeur-ass be damned. 

Roy watches as you huff slightly and shoulder his best friend’s arm lightly. Jason laughs easily at the cute contact, leaving Roy to wish he knew you well enough to be in on the joke, too. Well, to be honest, he just wishes he knew you period.

Roy clears his throat, going along with unnecessary niceties by extending his hand out to you with a false confidence he definitely wasn’t feeling. “What’s up, babe?” he greets overly casual.

Your head continues to face him head-on. He’s pretty sure if he could see anything under the mask you’d be wearing a deadpan stare. The two of you have known of each other for years, working alongside each other the entire time- so, why are you being introduced to Roy and why is he acting like a douche?

He watches you turn to Jason and point at yourself, then your head, then Roy and Jason seems to understand immediately. 

“Yeah, well, I figured I’d just properly introduce you guys,” he says, running a sheepish hand through his grey streak. “I don’t know,” he trails off with a sexy laugh that has even Roy fawning over him.

Roy really doesn’t stand a chance with Jason here. 

Fuck.

Roy supposes you shoot him another deadpan glare because Jason, honest to god, giggles. 

Fuck.

How is Roy supposed to compete with Jay’s rugged attractiveness when Roy’s shorter with half the game?

What happened to the awkward Jason Roy’d met all those years prior?

No, seriously, Jason had always been an awkward fuck, but for some reason, it seemed to work for him. Roy, on the other hand, was spontaneous, loud, over-the-top and seemed to drive off every promising prospect in sight, namely you.

You give Roy a timid wave that has Jason raising a brow, but Roy just responds earnestly. “Big fan of your work, Cardinal,” Roy says, leaning in across the table to get closer to you before he can stop himself. “Even bigger fan of that suit, beautiful.”

The redhead watches as your arms subconsciously move to cover your stomach and instantly backs off when Jason pushes him back into his seat.

“You’ll have to excuse my friend,” Jason says. “He hasn’t gotten laid since he got sober.”

He hears your tiny “oh” whispered into the quiet of the cafeteria and nearly loses it.

He wants you.

He needs you. 

“It’s true. I’m pathetic,” is what he ends up choking out.

Your head tilts at him with your hand floating to where your mouth is hidden under your vinyl confines. You look Jason’s way again before Roy hears your melodic giggle. He swears the gates of heaven have opened. He can practically hear the harps now as he watches the little shakes in your shoulders move in time with the angelic noise.

Saint Peter, Roy pleads with whatever fuckers are out there, please call my fucking name. Preferably soon… No, preferably now while you’re still amused by his obnoxious, whore-like behavior.

“Would you want to sit?” Jason motions to the chair you’re standing behind which sits right between Jason and Roy. You glance down at your tray which has a grab-n-go sandwich on it from one of the fridges right next to the food counter then back up at Roy. “It’s cool if not. I know idiot over here can be a lot.”

“Hey, I resent that.”

“I’m sure you do, buddy,” Jason says, picking lightly at his chicken before finally taking a bite. 

Jason always said the food here was good, but Roy knows it’s nothing compared to Alfred’s cooking back home.

Your giggling cuts off their old-married couple banter just like that. In fact, your laughter draws the attention of both men at the table so instantaneously that neither has time to cover up their reactions to the unfamiliar sound they’ve been lucky enough to hear twice now tonight.

Jason’s fork freezes momentarily on the way to his mouth before he quickly moves as if it’d never happened. Roy, on the other hand, remains completely stupefied by your captivating, seemingly effortless charm.

He knows deep down that there’s no way you’ll actually stay, though it doesn’t stop him from fantasizing about you ripping off your mask for him to take in what’s been forbidden for all these years. Part of him still holds out hope that, because it’s just him and Jason, you’ll actually do it, that you’ll actually give in and stay. Maybe the ripping off the mask is a bit too extreme, Roy mentally berates himself. Maybe, just maybe, you’ll lift the mask up past your nose and, at the very least, maybe you’ll just stay.

He watches with bated breath as you glance down at the seat, only to have his stomach sink seconds later when you shake your head. You pick up your sandwich and motion with your head toward the exit. 

Your continued lack of verbal response further proves there’s no way you’d ever even think about lifting up your mask to eat with Roy here. 

He is defective. 

“No worries,” Roy says as he waves you off with a jerky, then overly casual nature. 

Holy fuck, why can’t he just act normal around you?

“We’re usually in here around this hour if you ever do want to meet up,” Jason adds helpfully. Roy’ll be sure to thank him later for it. That is, right after he finishes kicking his ass for putting him through this embarrassment. “It’s usually just us down here at this hour, anyway. It’d be nice to catch up.”

You nod eagerly at both of them, leaving Jason to laugh. 

Roy watches you rub anxiously at your forearm, only to spur into action when your tray nearly goes tumbling because of it. You catch the sandwich easily and Roy catches the tray before it can even get close to the ground, but that doesn’t stop you from bending down, too.

At the sight of the tray safe in his hand, you, still bent over, look up, causing your noses to bump. 

“I can take care of you,” Roy’s grave voice is nearly a whisper in the quiet of the large room. You gasp slightly and startle backward, causing Roy to backtrack in a slightly higher-pitched voice. “They tray, I mean,” he clears his throat until his voice reaches its normal timbre. “I can take care of the tray for you.”

You seem to be momentarily frozen, much to Roy’s surprise, though it doesn’t last for long. Soon, you’re nodding distractedly, backing away from their table all the while. 

With your wrapped sandwich in one hand, you use the other to give a hasty thumbs up.

Roy waves you off with a defeated smile, bidding you a cursory goodnight.

Then you’re turning on your heel, speeding for the exit at a pace even Wally wouldn’t be able to keep up with.

He fucked up.

Neither he nor Jason can pull their eyes off you as you saunter away. 

Roy bites down harder on his chapped, bottom lip with each stomp of your heels as it jiggles your infamous cheeks in the process. Damn, what Roy wouldn’t do to get his hands on as much of your ass as he could manage. He knows there’s no way your ass would fit in the palms of his hands, but damn, if the thought alone doesn’t leave him drooling.

He doesn’t even notice the tent forming in his lap until Jason shoots him an unimpressed stare. 

“You’ve got it bad, bro,” Jason mutters into his water glass. 

𓅪𓅪𓅪

Roy does have it bad.

So bad that he makes his best friend take care of the raging boner you’d left him with.

Jason wasn’t lying when he said Roy hadn’t been laid since he’d sobered up around two years ago, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t jacking it almost every night. He’s found that the showers between the hours of four and five am are a safe haven for him to quickly get off, but tonight he needs something more.

Tonight’s different.

Roy presses Jason against the tiled wall and fucks into his tight ass all while imagining your wet pussy and fucked-out face. Roy comes embarrassingly fast, something Jason doesn’t let slide. He puts Roy to work, forcing his dick down his throat with a rough hand gripping his fiery hair until he comes all over Roy’s freckled face with a grunt.

It’s good and fine and whatever… Jason’s extremely attractive- that’s not the issue. 

The issue is that he’s not you.

Jason takes one look at Roy’s constipated face and sighs, wiping gently at the remaining beads of come on the tip of his cock with Roy’s discarded boxers.

“Just talk to her,” he says before leaving Roy to drown under the stream of his post-nut misery.

𓅪𓅪𓅪

He’s rounding the corner to his dorm room in his towel when he runs right smack into you and you’re…

“Holy shit,” Roy can’t help the airy moan that escapes at the sight of you in a loosely tied silk robe- only a silk robe.

You’re breathtaking. 

Your billowing hair, gleaming eyes and, overall, sinful features leave Roy’s mouth hanging open. Speaking of mouths, your supple, pouty lips are screaming at Roy to slip his dick between them and choke you with his length until he sees tears in the corners of your sex-doll eyes. 

Even in the fluorescent lights of the Watchtower hallways, your skin softly glows, radiating deep down into Roy’s bones. 

He needs to get his hands on you. 

Your features all meld together perfectly in a way that makes sense and he wonders how he ever could’ve imagined you to look any other way.

You tilt your head at him but don’t make to pass. It’s like you’re captivated by his captivation and, if anything, it only serves to captivate Roy further. 

You seem somewhat startled, though it’s obvious you’re trying to hide it. Roy wishes he could control his reaction; he really does, but you don’t know what you’re doing to him. Your startled face steadily shifts, leaving Roy to wonder if maybe you do. Maybe you know exactly what kind of effect you’re having on him. 

The teasing glint in your eyes seems to point to the latter and it’s making Roy weak in his already wobbly knees.

The sight of your costumed-self in the past has been enough to render him speechless. Now you’re here, standing in front of Roy’s rabid form with your robe steadily slipping from your silky shoulder and further down your bicep. 

Needless to say, the one-on-one contact with you is dizzying. It’s as if he’s drowning in the thick syrup of your honey-sweet figure without you ever having uttered a word other than his name. 

A succubus of sorts, for sure.

You’re hypnotizing and Roy knows he’s yet to pick his jaw up off the floor but can’t bring himself to stop. 

A steady breeze tickles at his mid-drift and it’s then he realizes he’s also forgotten to pick up his fucking towel in the process.

While Roy’s been completely stupefied by your ethereal features, you’ve been staring at his half-mast cock with an unreadable look. Roy inwardly groans when he realizes that Jason would probably know what it meant but erases the thought as soon as it pops into his head.

Roy looks down at his freckled, pink-tipped dick, then back up at you, then back down again and back up.

“Jeez,” he spouts, scrambling to the floor to snatch up the Justice League embroidered towels they supplied in the locker rooms. “Sorry,” his voice is thick with want as he squeezes his words out from behind a lump in his throat you’ve conveniently caused. “Didn’t see you there,” he says once he’s popped back up and secured his towel. “You alright?”

Your eyes flick down to his now completely erect cock that’s covered once again by his towel, then back up to his light green eyes. He follows the motion self-consciously, eagerly awaiting your next move. 

You’re a wild card to him. He can truly say you’re one of the few people he’s unable to read and one of the only people that he never knows what you’re going to do next. 

You’re a captivating mystery, an enigma for Roy’s puzzle-loving brain to tirelessly work at. And here you are, revealing almost everything to him while still revealing absolutely nothing. 

You nod and he watches as a magnificent blush coats your cheeks, though not the ones he’s been carnally craving.

“Sorry,” Roy sputters again as you continue past him like nothing had even happened. Like Roy hadn’t been staring at you for two minutes straight. 

You shake your head easily as if to say you don’t care, but Roy hopes you do. 

You continue past him with your usual confident stride, leaving Roy to wonder how you can possibly expect him to move at all with the trance you’ve put on him. His wobbly knees struggle to remain upright as your silent padding grows more and more distant.

Your scent lingers in the air around him like a cruel reminder of what could’ve been.

When he’s finally able, he turns around to watch your ass jiggle further and further down the hall with a heavy heart and even heavier blue balls. His heart nearly stops when you actually turn around to see if he’s still there, only to blush and duck your head back around on account of his blatant staring.

And so, the chase continues.

A/N: i’ve fully fallen in love w my characterization of roy and i’m absolutely WRECKED about it ok? i hope u feel the same and let me know if u do! ALSO ok I wrote this back in March (before I broke my pinky lol) but I did edit recently, but if it sounds a bit off from my current stuff that’s why :,P

Important: Cardinal is not usually mute, I take a lot of her hero design from Black Bat and thought it would be cool to include another aspect of Cassandra's character, hence this!

[next] || ao3 || pinned || ways to support

[crazyk-imagine]

Hey! I just read your Jamie Tartt fic where the reader is pregnant and I freaking loved it! It kind of got me thinking about Jamie bringing his little girl, cause he’s totally gonna be a girl dad, to the pitch for practice. She’s like 4 or 5, really young and wearing a Tartt jersey and has the entire team wrapped around her finger, especially Roy.. bonus if her favorite player is someone else on the team, any of them, and Roy and Jamie get jealous… if you could write it great! If not no worries! Thanks for the consideration! 🥰🥰

Abdicated Family Issues

Pairing: Jamie Tartt x Pregnant!Reader

Characters: Jamie Tartt, Pregnant!reader, Tartt Toddler, Baby Tartt, Roy Kent, Dani Rojas, Jan Maas (briefly mentioned)

Warnings: Fluff, Jamie being a dramatic bitch, Jealous Roy and Jamie, Toddler Tartt bouncing off the walls because of her fun day at dad's work, Roy didn't ask for this, he didn't plan on being involved, Jamie being a sad little baby thinking his baby girl doesn't like him (anymore), Jamie and Roy need comforting, reader becomes their therapist for a second, Dani being a sweetheart (ofc)

Word Count: 1,432

A/N: Ahhh, love, love, love it!! I thought who better to make Jamie just a little jelly than Dani aka the other ace on the team. Roy being involved and jelly is a plus.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You smile when you get a text from your boyfriend.

Baby 💕

"Leaving now. Will be home soon" 2:19pm Sent Read

Darling 💓

"See you two soon 💕" 2:27pm Sent Read

-

As soon as you get comfortable your boyfriend lays beside you. “How am I supposed to feel?” Jamie whines to you, crawling onto your lap.

“Can you back-up to the beginning of your story? I have no idea what’s happened, and you pretended like I came onto the field with you," you tell him, rubbing your slowly growing belly.

He smiles and adjusts himself so he lays by your side, head resting on your shoulder so he can also rub your belly.

"Tell me why you look like my sad Jaim."

"She-"

"Dani is so cool!"

You glance away from your excited and jumpy daughter to your even more depressed boyfriend.

"Why don't you tell your mum what you told me?" Ron's voice echoes throughout the hallway as he closes the front door.

"Dani did this really cool move and- and-"

You try and shush, "babes. Babes." You sigh when you don't get her attention. "Honey, take a breath and breathe. I want to hear about your exciting day, but you can only do it if you talk a little slower."

She stares at you.

Roy grabs a seat on one of the chairs you keep out for company (because the team comes over more often than you'd like, right now being pregnant; they take a lot of you). "Why don't you tell her more about the fun you had today?"

"Jan's really tall and gave me piggyback rides while dad was practicing, even though he should have been too."

"You made it fun, Baby Tartt."

You furrow your brows, unsure of who said that.

Roy shrugs and mouths, "phone."

Jamie slumps further into your side.

You open your arms, wanting to pull your baby girl in for a hug and make a poor attempt at trying to get the phone before your chatty girl drops it.

Meaning you two would need to buy another phone (your goal is to make it last six more months).

The screen shifts to the ceiling before Dani's face pops up. "Hi. How are you? Do you need some of my family's special pregnancy soup?"

You smile and shake your head. "No, thank you, Danny. I appreciate the offer though."

"Of course, of course."

"So, how was today's practice? I hope it was alright."

"Oh, it was great. Baby Tartt shows promise to follow in her father's footsteps."

"Oh, does she?"

He nods, "yes, yes. I showed her a few moves and-"

"More like took her attention from me," Jamie grumbles.

Roy scoffs.

You shake your head, wanting to listen to what Dani's saying without commentary from the peanut gallery.

It only lasts two minutes longer until you can't take it anymore.

"Dani- dani- I'm sorry, I'm feeling a little nauseous and I don't want to keep you any longer. I know you have other things to do. I'm sure we'll talk more soon."

"Alright, I’ll leave you to rest. I know how much a woman in your condition needs her rest, especially with Jamie’s baby.”

Your boyfriend beside you grumbles, “what does that mean?”

“You are a good football player, meaning you have strong kicks.”

He doesn’t respond but you do know that Dani’s comment uplifted his mood just a little bit.

“I hope you have a good rest of your evening and get plenty of rest,” the excited player waves to you.

Your daughter leans in, waving. “Bye, Dani! I’ll come by so we can practice more.”

“That is good to hear. I can’t wait until your next visit.”

You end the call and look up. “Sweetie?”

Jamie and your daughter look at you; you pat your boyfriend’s shoulder.

“Not you, J.” You glance back at your adorable baby girl. “Can you go get me my special blanket? I’m feeling a little cold.”

She nods, “okay.”

“I can help-”

You shake your head, “nope. Neither of you are leaving this room until you confess.”

“Confess? Confess what?” Jamie asks.

“You know what. You two have never looked more upset and depressed at the same time. I want to know why so I can help you.”

Roy clenches his jaw.

“You don’t have to say much, Roy. But you, my dear Jaim, have to give me something so I can figure out whether or not a hug will suffice for right now.”

He groans and removes himself from you, throwing himself onto the other side of the couch. “She likes him more.”

Your head snaps over at the gruff man. “What?”

He sighs, “your future athlete, liked Dani more than she liked her dad on the field today.”

“And you,” Jamie points at him. “Don’t throw me under the bus and expect me to just sit here and let you-”

You grab Jamie’s hand, intertwining your fingers, “stop it. There’s no need to fight.”

The older man crosses his arms. “But it’s not fair.”

“What’s not fair? I need you to explain to me because I have no idea what it is or how to help you.”

“She wanted to practice more with Dani than she did me. I mean, how does that make sense? How is that fair? I’m her fuckin’ dad, you know.”

A small smile tugs at the corner of your lips. “Jaim, you shouldn’t feel that way.” You brush away the hair that falls in front of his eyes.

“How else am I supposed to feel? Made me feel like- I don’t know.”

“You do know but I won’t push you because I know it’s the fact that Roy’s here. But please don’t worry about that-”

“Well, how else am I supposed to feel?”

You sigh. “Jamie, she’s wearing your number and has your name on the back of her jersey. She may want to hang out with him a few times but you’re her dad. You’re her number one player.”

Roy clearing his throat makes you roll your eyes, “and you as well, you big baby.”

The gruff man smirks in return, not wanting you to know how that makes him feel (special).

You return your attention to your boyfriend. “You are the reason she loves the sport, without you, who knows what she’d be obsessed with other than her toys, you know. I mean, you helped her find her future.”

He finally looks at you for the first time since he got home. “I did?”

You nod, smiling at him. “Of course, you fucking did because you are Jamie Tartt. Best girl dad ever, Jamie Tartt.”

He cups your cheek before leaning in to kiss you.

You pull back with a gasp as a wide smile dances across your lips.

“What is it?”

“Someone’s also trying to show you that they’re your number one fan with their strong kicks.” You grab his hand and hold it over the spot.

The exciting moment between you two is broken when a certain ex-player’s hand hovers over your belly.

“Come here, you quiet old man.”

“Oi.”

You raise a brow at him.

“I’m not that old.”

“I found it.”

You all turn to find your daughter trapped underneath the blanket.

“Roy, go help her before she trips, please.”

Your boyfriend takes this opportunity to whisper sweet promises to the baby.

Once your daughter is free and can see properly, she watches the two of you. “What are you two doing?”

“Your sibling is kicking,” he tells her.

Her eyes widen and she rushes towards you, wanting to feel the kicks as well.

Jamie grabs her hand so the two of them can feel the baby kicking together.

You glance over at Roy, who’s set the blanket off the side; he waves at you before leaving.

“Are you two having fun?”

They nod, not wanting to break their concentration.

You groan, throwing your head back.

“What? What is it?” Jamie asks, worried something’s wrong.

“You two keep pushing the baby onto my bladder and guess what?”

“I’ll help you up.” He gets you up with no problems. He leans closer to your ear, whispering, “all you need to do is ask, darling.”

You narrow your eyes to him. “Really? You really want to get cheeky with me, Tartt.”

He only smiles and walks with you to the bathroom.

“Go spend time with your daughter before she’s old enough to go out on dates.”

“Don’t do that to me.” And he’s back in the living room.

You chuckle, finding it too easy to rile him up.

[crash-cinematic-universe]

Human Resources

Roman Roy/reader (drabble)

~ Having lunch with your problematic boss is about as fun as it sounds (very fun)

warnings: joking about sexual harassment (no actual sexual harassment)

notes: i wanna make this guy meow for me. lil somethin to shake off the cobwebs. this is like a little corny but I forgot how to write good during my hiatus

“I could bludgeon you to death.” 

“What?” 

Roman almost seems offended by your surprise. He looks at you from across his desk as though he’d asked you the weather and you slapped him across the face. You’d been having a relatively peaceful afternoon–it had been hectic in the office, so you both decided to eat lunch at Roman’s desk. Your conversation had been fine, if maybe a little mundane. You were almost grateful for Roman’s weird outburst for allowing the both of you to fall into your regular routines. 

“I feel like, if it really came down to it, I could bludgeon you to death,” He leans forward in his chair. “I’m not saying I want to, I’m just saying if the situation called for it, I wouldn’t, like, struggle.”

“Why the fuck would the situation call for it?” You ask, eyebrows furrowed. 

“I don’t fucking know, maybe you start PMS-ing and end up taking a swing at me.” 

“Jesus, Rome,” you chide, “Is this the kinda shit you fantasize about? Spend a lot of time playing with yourself imagining what it would feel like to bash my brains out?” A part of you is grateful that you've finished your lunch already–this conversation is not working wonders for your appetite. 

“Ok, well, now you made it weird.” Roman slumped over in his chair, sitting at an angle that could not have been comfortable. “I was just throwing it out there, no need to get your fuckin’ dick twisted in a knot.”

“Y’know what? I bet you’re wrong,” This catches his attention. “If we got into a fight like that–like, life or death–I could kick your ass.”

“No fucking way, are you kidding? Have you seen yourself?” he pushes himself up where he sits, fitting his legs underneath his body and leaving him perched on his chair like a bird. “You’re, like, 2% muscle and 98% bitch. You can’t even send your drink back if they get your coffee order wrong–I think if you were faced with life-threatening danger, your heart would self-destruct to avoid the conflict. I wouldn’t even have to bludgeon you to death.”

If anybody else was saying this to you, you’d be appalled. Thankfully, you’ve had years of practice fully dedicated to building up your Roman tolerance. “You’re hardly life-threatening, Rome. All I need to do is call you gross, like, once, and you’d be too blinded by weird, horny brain-fog to fight me,” You’re not sure when you rose from your seat and began to lean against his desk, but you pay it no mind. Like clockwork, he rises up on his chair to reach your eye level. He has a smug look on his face that you’d grown increasingly accustomed to. 

“You’re disgusting, you know that? I could get you fired for talking to a superior that way, you pervert.” He narrows his eyes at you, and the corners of his mouth quirk upwards. He’s moved closer to you, close enough so that you feel his breath on your face. Too close. You take the opportunity to flick him on the underside of his jaw, and he throws his head backward as though you’d socked him in the nose. 

“That’s assault! You just assaulted me! God, Human Resources is going to have a field day with this. The young, naive assistant violently assaulting her boss after making crude, sexual comments about him–feminism really has gone too far.” He leans back toward you, this time straining to seem as though he was towering over you. Instead, he ends up talking to your forehead. 

“Please, Roman, you’re being delusional.” His jaw drops.

“And now you’re gaslighting me. I cannot believe I’ve had someone so cruel working for me all these years.” He fans himself like a southern belle. You stifle your laughter at his dramatic display. “You’re toxic, this is toxic. Do you think Greg treats Tom this way? Because I sure don’t.”

“Greg treats me in what way?” Tom’s voice cuts through. Both you and Roman jerk backwards, and for some reason you feel your face heat up. It feels like you’ve been caught doing something you shouldn’t have. 

“He treats you like the pretty pillow princess you are, Tom.” Roman quips, seemingly unaffected by Tom’s sudden appearance. Tom’s face contorts strangely, and he lets out a strangled half-scoff-half-laugh while flapping his hand dismissively. You cock an eyebrow at his behavior, which draws out for just a little too long. Tom clears his throat.

“Anyways,” he straightens his tie. Your mind wanders to a late-night conversation you had with Roman where he called Tom a ‘sad, deeply repressed, half-muppet-half-man hybrid’. It becomes clearer everyday that he was spot on. “Kendall asked to see you in his office. I’m not sure what about, but he seemed… frazzled.”

“Frazzled.” Roman repeats, irritated. He turns to you, and for a second, you almost think he looks disappointed. “Duty calls. I’ll have to report you to HR later. Try not to sexually harass anyone else until then, m’kay?”

Before you have a chance to respond, he blows you a kiss and scurries out the door, leaving you and Tom alone in his office. Tom looks at you with his muppet eyes.

“Sexually harass…?”

“Get out, Tom.”

[succcession]

Maybe you could do a Connor Roy Smut Headcanon??💗 Really been living your work

Currently rewatching and I forgot how much of a genuinely sweetheart he is!

Sweet Connor who is always buying you insanely expensive gifts imported from all over the world but hidden in each item would be a page long handwritten love letter explaining every detail of why he chose it for you.

Despite claiming to be an old fashion type of guy, I think he would loveeee sexting! Send him a random picture of your ass, and you would get a 2 min long voice message back from him describing how hard you make him and how lucky he feels.

His lap is actually the comfiest place to sit.

Wants you to sit in his lap while he sucks and teases your nipples and you play with his hair.

Innocently sitting on his hips right below his lil squishy tummy as you two chat about your day. But would quickly becoming your grinding on him as he squeezes your hips pulling your tighter to him

I believe with my whole heart he is amazing at foreplay. He spent year fucking girls just for his own pleasure, now he really likes to take his time. Covering your face and neck with kisses before he was even trying to get your shirt off. 

This would occasionally lead to him almost ruining the moment. You would be begging him to put it in already, and he would dramatically  respond something like “I have to take my time…i don't know how much i have left”

Really Really likes lingerie! Especially if it's super feminine, anything with lots of lace, flowers, and pink

Always coming home to some lacy set placed on the bed with a little card :,)

Please give this man some praise. Tell him how good he feels inside of you, how nobody can fuck you like him, and as basic as it is, pleaseee tell him he's the best you've ever had. He won’t be able to stop blushing and will hide his face in your neck but you can tell how much he loves it as he starts pounding you harder.

Gentle loving sex 70% of the time

Intense passionate pounding the rest

I think he would probably want you on top a lot. Of course he has no problem being on top but loves watching you ride him as you use his cock to make yourself cum, his large hands squeezing your ass helping to guide you up and down 

Also loves doggystyle!

Wouldn't get rough with you too often but when he did, he was usually taking you from behind one hand pulling your hair as the other wraps around your neck. Not squeezing just using it as leverage to fuck into you harder

Shutting him up from conspiracy theory rambling by unzipping his pants and pulling his dick out

Would get a vasectomy just to cum in you as much as he wants

I don’t think he would be a big fan of degradation, calling you his little slut would make him feel “like your pimp” he would state

Aftercare would sometimes be you holding him in your arms reassuring him how much you love him and how happy he makes you as you lightly scratch you back with your nails. He just gets so worried that he doesn’t truly please you so your soothing voice reminding him would almost make him cry T_T ugh he's so cute

[002yb]

Jaybin who secretly crushes on Roy. Dick almost beats the shit out of Roy when he flirts back (flustering jaybin like the maiden he is!) and oh, he tries so hard to convince himself he’s /not/ jealous, just fulfilling his duty as a protective older brother 👀

This is such a cute little scenario, ahhhhhhhhh!! Thank you for this, anon. Absolutely precious. ♥ Admittedly I'm torn between two situations because like...

1) 'Platonic' Route: Dick completely misunderstanding Jason, assuming his little wing has a crush when really Jason just thinks Dick's friend is cool. Dick unwittingly getting jealous over how Jason's attentions stray to Roy. Conflict because Roy is a great person, but also snippy irritation because Roy isn't letting Jason down at all what the fuck, Harper? Roy being 1200% aware that Dick is a jealous and possessive ass and sort of just being in awe over how oblivious Dick can be.

And omg Roy telling Dick that he's not interested in Jason like that after Dick starts to become a bit too much of a protective brother complex brother. Only then Dick turns around and gets irrationally irritated because why the fuck not? His little wing is cute as fuck and just as capable and wonderful. What's Roy saying, huh? He'd be lucky to have Jason.

2) Crush Route: Where Jason has a genuine crush on his older brother's cool friend. Dick only realizing it when Jason gets uncharacteristically distracted as they're training/sparring. And sure, it's Dick that ends up kicking Jason in the stomach (because Jason forgets Dick is even there - the kid doesn't block or dodge or anything - wholly caught up in watching as Roy passes them by), but it's Dick who feels the brunt of it straight in his gut because oh no. No, no, no.

He'd put the pieces together so fast his own thoughts would be reeling. It's the blush high on Jason's cheeks that gives it away. And it would only get worse as Roy startles at what happened, jogging across the gym to check in on their new Robin while teasing Dick about not being so rough on the kid, come on Grayson. You okay, Jaybird?

Then Dick would just exist on the fringes as Roy checks on Jason. As Jason's expression shifts through the full range of human emotions before settling on something so uncharacteristically timid (and sweet and sheepish and boyish and who the fuck is this?) As Jason smiles (and again - it's different and leaves Dick feeling a little unsteady).

Obviously there are two ways that he can handle this. 1) Be supportive. 2) Be petty.

Roy tells him not to worry about it. It's a puppy crush - it'll pass. Dick doesn't know about that. Roy's kind of amazing, doesn't he know? Which would almost take Roy out at the knees if only Dick wasn't so grumpy while saying it. Petulant as Dick is about the matter, the compliment is genuine though and Roy just rolls his eyes because Dick is being highkey dramatic.

Needless to say, pettiness wins out. Only Dick isn't even aware that it wins - it's just what happens. Or rather, possessive jealous feelings happen. Which Roy again rolls his eyes at because Jason might have a puppy crush, but what about Dick? Being kind of intense there, Grayson.

To which Dick defends himself by claiming to be being a big brother. And Roy laughs because yeah, sure thing brother dear.

Then like - just a bunch of Dick running interference where it isn't needed. Roy having the patience of a saint because like Jason he's been charmed by the demon night terror that is Dick Grayson. Jason playing at being irritated at Dick's change in behavior but really? He doesn't mind all of Dick's sudden attention because it's not only Roy Jason is crushing on. Which Roy is very aware of and Dick is just - not.

Which leads to even more shenanigans of these three falling into a relationship together somehow and it's wonderful.

Personally vibing with a true poly situation but like, DickRoy sharing Jason without having a big thing between them themselves is also cute.

[rcttencore]

wait till you hear about this next nominee: KANG JUYEONG, born on the 13th of AUGUST, 1993 and bears a striking resemblance to LEE SUNGKYUNG. they’re a FOURTH year BACHELOR OF FINANCE student and RAISED FUNDS TO BUILD THE UNIVERSITY'S FIRST CHAPEL — impressed yet? rumor has it they’re hoping to be the FINANCE DIRECTOR IN MBC, but personally, i think they should aim a little higher — something like the king’s club, for one. now, that suits them a little more, don’t you think? guess we’ll just have to see if they’ve got the talent for it in our upcoming recruitment round.

erm so hi again!! :D august, 21+, swapping one mess for another! i watched this one edit of the roy family to charli xcx's apple and i was like wow i need this canon.... fly high naeon (k*lled her off like they did with my favourite character in the boys season finale but we don't talk about that).. anyways, this is judgemental, elitist, ew poor people, miss kang juyeong! favourite granddaughter of mbc's ceo, who only gives a shit about you if you're old money rich!

super sorry to everyone i've spent the last 2 weeks plotting with, but i promise we'll brainstorm and come up with equally fun plots because she will most definitely cause drama!! ‪♡‬ like this plot for me to double-text you or just drop into your dms again!!

as always more info below!!

personality

inspo: charli xcx’s apple, the glory’s lee sara (thank U gloss for this), gen v’s cate dunlap (juyeong would be a homelander i fear), basically every member of the succession family (but mostly shiv roy’s entitlement), hints of scream queens' chanel oberlin & euphoria’s maddy  tropes: million dollar baby, the hellkite positive loyal, meticulous, articulate, cultured, protective negative pompous, hypocritical, judgemental, elitist, condescending cunt sun, whore moon, bitch rising leo sun, sag moon, leo rising

tbh shes pretty simple. just your typical snobby bitch who thinks people should just stop being poor and will tell u condescendingly about it

strong belief in maintaining a certain social order (if gatekeeping was a person, it'd be her) & extremely elitist 

she’s very big on keeping a good image for the camera (in public, at least, she’s not stupid!). all about smiling for the camera, showing your perfect self but close the doors, invite her to the king’s club, and she’ll show her true colors 

sharp tongue, has the tendency to be very dramatic (it's the leo in her)

she’s the biggest fucking hypocrite out there! she’ll act like the bible is her religion, no sin but then she’s snorting coke off some guy’s abs

but honestly, if ur in her inner circle then you’re kinda set for life. she’ll literally die for you. would go to the ends of the world for u. you ask for the moon? juyeong will get it for you. 

the kind who would provide you an alibi no matter what like ‘babe your boyfriend just called and asked where you were, i told him we were watching a movie but idk where you actually are’ vibes 

her feelings about hyungseo: she thinks he’s gaudy and tacky. although she begrudgingly accepts his presence in the king’s club, she does not like him at all!

background

she’s her grandfather’s favourite child - he thinks she’s like the second coming of jesus or something 

but in reality, it’s kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy. he puts her up on a pedestal and spoils her rotten and she’s the only person in the whole family who wholeheartedly listens and believes him & his tradition.. so it kinda works! 

most of her cousins just write it off as an old man’s rambles and their families have enough money…and her older sister is the worst offender though she gets disowned when she’s sixteen for flipping her granddad on live television and just saying some nasty shit about the church her family runs (she gets written off because she’s a teenage girl right but there is truth to her words) 

as she grows older, there are things with her grandfather’s ideology that she doesn’t necessarily subscribe to but she likes the taste of privilege too much to act otherwise 

and she has her own set of values - it’s a mix of what she believes from the bible & what she’s been raised up with. do they contradict sometimes? yes! does juyeong really care? no, not at all! her moral code is whatever she believes to be

but one thing she keeps with her is that u should only trust and respect the generationally wealthy <3 the inner circle of the top 1% is life <3 family name is everything to her!

even with the king’s club, she got in via having connections who vouched for her and just generally made the rituals/ life easier lol 

she thought being in the king’s club would mean being with like-minded individuals but little did she know… people get in on the merit of hard work too! and not just their family names! ew! 

post grad, she’s working in mbc as a finance director (nepo baby vibes) 

her family is also going through shit after the whistleblower ratted them out for embezzlement and they’re going through Serious Investigations and… let’s just say juyeong is practicing escapism heavily (read: she’s pretending nothing is wrong)

plots

we can brainstorm but just some high level stuff! 

her inner circle please <3

people who have blackmail on her !!! like your family’s fucked. u want to make it worse for them? 

also people she does not respect and just has a general antagonistic relationship with !!

omg pls give me people who think her penance is due!! like she used to tell them to fuck right off because they were new money or whatever and now, your muse is like “who’s fucking laughing now?” [jojo siwa vc] karma’s a bitch

someone related to the plot, did something fucked up to hyungseo and juyeong saw but she’s taking it to the fucking grave bc she considers u a friend ~

juyeong fucks a someone she thinks isn't worthy of being in the king's club - alternatively, juyeong falls in love with someone she doesn't think should be in the king's club ^__^

[vole-mon-amour]

3x11, part 2, RJK edition.

oh my god, just make out already, you two. Jamie is so fucking sad, who fucking hurt him, I wanna hurt them back.

Jamie is on the verge of tears, can't Roy fucking see it??? LOOK INTO HIS EYES AND SEE IT.

That is probably the most mature and concerned reaction I've ever seen from Roy towards Jamie. Like when he hugged him in s2, it was great. But here he's actually trying to TALK about it. He's genuinely concerned and interested in what's going on.

EMMY WINNER PHIL DUNSTER WHEN?????? Jfc. Just hug the boy, Roy.

;_____; Sharing trauma aka I've been thrown into Sunflowers and Amsterdam again. BEST FRIENDS.

Ok. This is ok. I'm okay. There was a glimpse where the kiss could've happened and Jamie could've continued wailing and it would WORK. Roy wouldn't even say a thing bc Jamie is a mess and it might now mean anything, and if it did, they can talk about it later.

Anyway. Jamie going in for a hug FIRST bc he trust Roy and he feels safe around him and he feels okay about physical intimacy and being vulnerable with him now. I wanted my hug & I guess this is the closest I can get to that one in 2x06. And with Jamie crying again. Ohhh my god.

The poor boy needs a vacation with both Roy and Keeley (and a lot of sex and love from them). I'd say RoyJamie only, but it's more likely at this point that ot3 happens instead of otp.

Well, it's close to Will walking in on Roy and Jamie kissing. Almost.

I'm fucking staying here. I don't need anyone else. I'm staying here and going down with this ship. Jamie full on can do whatever he wants at this moment & Roy would probably allow him. The hands interlinked on Roy's back, Jamie's head going from Roy's shoulder into the crook of Roy's neck. They really are best friends. Jamie feels so comfortable and safe with him. Putty in his hands, huh?

And I can't fucking keep quiet about Phil pulling this off. Like... MY GOODNESS, GIVE HIM ALL THE FUCKING AWARDS. It makes me sad but at the same time I can't stop laughing, and I'm sure this was the intention. Bc this dramatic wailing is truly something.

At the same time, "I can't sleep, and I can't eat" is a serious sign of depression or at least a serious burnout. Get Jamie a therapist and some quality time break from all the stress.

"Jamie is a mess & I gotta help him."

Keeley is so excited she gets to help Roy with Jamie. This is very ot3 of you. I gotta say though, Roy has to learn how to talk and communicate. It's all fun and all, the idea of when there's a miscommunication or Roy unable to go to emotional depths, but it's really important. In the previous ep he watched Jamie and came up with the right words for Keeley. In here he went to Keeley so she could help him with Jamie. I see a pattern, but I'd love Roy to act on it. Saw Keeley maybe, came up with the right words, knew how to act with Jamie, went back to help.

But then I expect both of them to go back to Jamie and help, so also very ot3 of them.

Jamie and his rings. Jamie being so many fans fav player. Jesus, I love this kid so. fucking. much. Get him into therapy again, please.

"How's he doing?" "Fucking hell." "I'll talk to him."

For a show that gives so many queer references, it would be weird if they were queerbaiting us tbh. It's possible, but it's still weird, especially with so many queer characters.

For the reference.

IF NOT OT3, THEN WHY THIS. They're gonna drive me insane.

[restinslices]

Hi, I wanted to say I loved your Heather x Kate one-shot!!!!! You did such a good job!!!!

So I decided to request another one, always in the AU where they both live.

This time, the two of them cuddling on their bed one morning, telling how much they love each other and other sweet stuff.

Basically, just pure fluff, because they both deserve it.

Ya’ll, I legit don’t know how to write these two as a couple lmao. Also I lowkey deviated from the prompt

What are you supposed to do after surviving being chased down by undead possessed killers?

No, genuinely, I'm asking. What the hell are you supposed to do? Kate and Heather surely didn't know.

"Go to therapy!". As if! They'd be labeled as crazy and sent away.

"Live life to the fullest now!". Corny!

"Write in a diary!". Ugh, that sounds boring.

So what were they to do?

"Ow, you dick! You scratched me!”

“I did not. You’re just mad you lost again”.

You bother your girlfriend obviously.

Kate blew on the rather small cut, her eyes occasionally shooting daggers at the girl sitting across from her. She didn’t always lose! She was just on a rather impressive losing streak…

“I thought this game was called Spoons, with an s. Not just Spoon”.

“There’s only two of us, so there’s only one spoon. An extra player wouldn’t help you win”. Kate slapped Heather’s arm, before she huffed and let her back hit the soft mattress below her. “You quit already?”.

“We’ve been playing all morning” Kate crossed her arms over her chest, “I’m bored”.

“I have some tapes we could watch”.

Kate scoffed, “shitty ones. Who genuinely likes Friday The 13th?”.

“Tons of people!”, Heather argued back. The same retort to the same debate they kept having. While Heather loved the series, so much so that her walls were lined with posters of Jason Voorhees, Kate thought the whole series was a waste of time. “It’s a fantastic series with a great villain-“

Kate pushed herself up on her elbows, “they’re the same thing over and over. And when they actually try something new, it goes terrible. Roy Burns- or whatever his name was. Him going to hell?”. She made a point to scoff as dramatically as she could, almost laughing when Heather frowned. “Shit. All of ‘em”.

The game of Spoons had been forgotten now. Why play a game when you could have the same debate you and your girlfriend have had over a million times? “You like the Halloween franchise, Kate. You wanna talk about shit-“.

“Correction! I like the first two and I pretend the others don’t exist. You know what’s another shitty movie?”

“Do not say Prom Night!”

“It’s terrible!”.

“Oh but Black Christmas is good?”

“Black Christmas is an amazing movie and has Olivia Hussey in it!”.

When you can’t talk to a therapist about undead possessed killers almost ending your life, this is what you do on a Saturday morning. You argue with your equally traumatized girlfriend about horror movies, knowing you can’t change their mind.

Heather liked the Friday The 13th films, Prom Night, Sleepaway Camp, Pet Semetary, Hellrasier, shit like that. She didn’t stick to one sub genre. She bounced around and liked whatever she liked.

Kate liked Halloween 1 and 2, Black Christmas, A Nightmare On Elm Street films, Slumber Party Massacre, Carrie, Suspiria, shit like that. Her favorite sub genre was “pretty women”, which was the first of many signs.

The debate ended like it usually did; the two of them cuddling together and talking about horror movies they both enjoyed. Movies like Child’s Play, The Evil Dead and The Lost Boys.

Heather ignored her arm becoming numb under the weight of Kate laying her head on it, “You think we could make a horror movie out of what happened to us?”.

Kate was only half listening by now. She laid with her back pressed against Heather’s chest, her head on Heather’s arm and her eyes closed. The warmth of her partner’s skin felt like the embodiment of a soft lullaby, and she was definitely on her way out. “Sure” she mumbled, “just take out me selling drugs”.

“Why?”

“Because, Heather, selling drugs are illegal”

“We could say it’s to add something to the movie”

“Yeah, sure”

“I don’t know who I want to play me. Or maybe it could be a book. Or a book that’s turned into a movie-”. Kate grabbed the pillow in front of her, and with a little bit of hope and prayer, she hit Heather directly in the face.

“We’re taking a nap now”

“This early?”

“This early”.

Well… there wasn’t much else to do. Plus, she was far too comfortable to get up and force herself be productive. “Alright, alright” her free hand rubbed where the pillow smacked her - either that pillow was made of bricks, or Kate had a hard ass swing - “I love you, I guess”.

The silence she got in return made her lift her head up, “Kate?”. More silence. Kate’s eyes were closed and her breathing was slow. What, did committing assault take all the energy out of her?

Heather let her head fall back down. “You’re an asshole, you know that?”. More silence. “Whatever. I’ll just tell you again when you wake up”.

[transformers-mosaic]

Transformers: Mosaic #538 - "Lament"

Originally posted on September 3rd, 2010

Story, Script, Letters - Seb Script - HdE Art - Roy Stiffey

deviantART | Seibertron | TFW2005 | BotTalk

wada sez: This Crosscut spotlight is absolutely the funniest Mosaic I've read in ages. On deviantART, Seb said: “Well, my dictionary defines 'soliloquy' as "the act of a character speaking to himself so as to reveal his thought to the audience" (whereas 'colloquy' would be a regular conversation between 2 parties). Technically, Crosscut doesn't 'speak' here, which makes this a 'monologue' instead of 'soliloquy', but since the piece is all about big words, the latter one sounds way more 'literate' ;p”. HdE added: “With LAST STAND OF THE WRECKERS, Roche and Roberts gave us the horrors of war, musings on insanity, sacrifice, betrayal and a huge helping of death and destruction. With LAMENT, Seb and HdE give their audience... big words. And waffle. Lots of waffle. Mmm... waffles... [...] Our intention here was to put Crosscut over as being far-too-verbose and serious for his own good. But hopefully, you can still feel a pang of pity for him at the end.” See below for a mirrored version of Seb’s full commentary for the strip, originally shared to his own deviantART account, along with clean colors and even an Italian translation.

Now to explain the not-so-pure motivation behind this piece, sigh.... :) Mainly, there are two reasons:

1) I was always amazed (not always positively) by how TF fandom takes pride in (sometimes even competitive) knowledge of insanely obscure trivia, situations and characters from within the franchise. In 25+ years, said franchise has accumulated an insane number of somethings than can, depending on the case in question, be labeled as a character, "character", pitiful excuse for a "character", and pitiful excuse for a word "character". No matter, for as long as someone is "official" (appeared in some officially sanctioned part of the franchise), poor he/she/it "deserves some love", regardless of the fact that 2 minutes of someone's mental effort can result in a MUCH better "character".

This is only partly "derogatory", for I myself indulge in such things. I'm poking fun at myself as well. :D

Now, I knew this had to be pulled of with a Mosaic starring Crosscut - a (let's face it) pitiful excuse for a word "character" who appeared only on 2 panels of a Marvel TF issue from '86, the first one depicting him in a glow of energy while testing the Space bridge, the second one depicting him explode into pieces due to Bridge's faulty fuel line....but one thing had set him apart from all the others "hi-then-die" guys - he was NAMED.

So, the idea was giving that sorry li'l dude a back-story most profound, not knowing what it'll be. And it waited....

2) I had a discussion with HdE about overly serious and over-the-top writing bursting with pathos that can be seen in writing in general, and how a whole lotta NOTHING can be disguised with big, dramatic words. The talk (d)evolved into a hilarious exchange of pretentious and verbose pseudo-poetic ramblings, and thus the idea of Crosscut the Poet was born!

I compiled that pompous mumbo-jumbo, adapted it for the situation, added quite an amount of equally verbose pretentious fillers, distributed it among the panels and sent the draft to HdE. He Shakespeare-ized the ramblings even further (which I didn't think was possible, but it was!), added several additional juicy passages, and VOILA!

All the script needed was master Roy to bring this fragile beauty and innocent vulnerability to life! :)

...and here it is - a blank slate given the deepest depth imaginable. ;)

[orbitalpirate]

Moe/Isaac meet cute!

Thank you for the prompt!!! <3 ☆☆☆

He had just moved to England. To London. Changed his address, moved his possessions from his student housing to a home. From football school to premier league football. He was on his own. He had been working his whole life for this. 19 years old, and he had just been signed to a premier league team. Moe Bumbercatch was sat in his new home with nothing but two suitcases and an AFC Richmond gift basket.

"I don't understand why you didn't want me to help you furnish your home, Schätzli," Janet Bumbercatch said to the phone, "do you even have a bed? Do you have things to cook with?"

Moe smiled even though she couldn't see it, "Mamma, I promise I'm fine. I'm going furniture shopping this weekend and I have my sleeping bag for now. It's an adventure."

"Mohammed Hamza Bumbercatch, I love you but I will never understand you. What are your plans for tonight?" She asked

Moe laughed, it was an old joke of theirs. He was her only son and they were very close.

"I'll go out to eat. Unpack my Nintendo switch and knitting supplies, and get some rest for tomorrow," he told her.

"I love you, Moe," Janet said, "be safe. And don't let that Roy Kent give you any trouble. You're a great player."

"Love you mom," he said. "Tell dad I said goodnight and that I'll talk to him tomorrow."

He hung up with a soft sigh before unzipping his bags and digging for his latest hat he was working on.

-

After walking around London aimlessly for a while, Moe decided to try one of the restaurants that looked homely. It was just called "Sara's" and the menu posted outside the front door had a vegetarian dish that sounded incredible and he just wanted something to tide him over until his first day of work with a premier league team.

The restaurant wasn't crowded, an older couple sat by the window, two teen boys doing homework while eating towards the back and a woman reading a book and eating towards the center.

Moe ordered the vegetarian dumpling platter and sat down at a two seat table on his phone while he waited. Twitter was talking about Greece's debt and the latest I, Robot episode. Moe could only think about football.

The bell above the door rang as a guy around his age walked in the restaurant.

"Isaac," the employee called out, "your usual?"

"Two," Isaac, apparently, said. "Big day tomorrow." Isaac looked around his age and was a tall broad mountain of a guy with the beginnings of a mustache on his lip. He was dressed in bright, dramatic colors, but he pulled it off.

The employee smiled, "you think Richmonds got good odds this year?"

Isaac shook his head, "With Cartrick as a coach? They'll be lucky to tie all season."

Moe wished he was born with the ability to have tact. He scoffed.

Isaac's eyes shot to him, "something to say, bruv?"

Moe started at him studying his features. This wasn't the type of guy who would try and fight him. This wasn't the type of guy who would fight him. He also thought the guy was attractive, but he forced that outside. He couldn't afford to be attracted to men.

"It's too soon to tell," Moe said to Isaac, "the team hasn't even started practicing. Cartrick may be an old hat one trick pony, but a team is as good as its players."

"You think they'll win because they have Roy Kent?" Isaac asked with squinted gaze.

"No," Moe said, "it's too soon to tell. I'll tell you after the first two matches of the season."

Isaac smiled wide, "Will you, now? Maybe I ought to give you my number, bruv. So I can send you condolences when we lose." Was this guy flirting with him? He had to not be optimistic about that.

"You're on."

Moe's food was served, and the bag that he had planned to take home was unpacked as he stayed in his seat.

"So who's your team?" Isaac asked.

"F.C. St. Gallen," Moe said, "Swiss team, I'm swiss." God He was being so awkward in front of this hot guy. This was not how he was supposed to spend his first night in England.

"Cool, how long have you been in England"

"2 hours."

Isaac nodded. "I'm from Peckham. I can show you around, maybe. Sometime. If you want."

Moe nodded with a smile. Shit.

Isaac ate his food at the same table as Moe, and they spent half the night talking football. It was fun. It was nice. Moe wished he wasn't too afraid to ask for Isaac's number.

"It's getting late," Isaac said. "I need to get going soon."

"I'll see you around then," Moe said.

Isaac smiled, "Definitely. Good luck to, uh, St. Gallon?"

"Galen," he corrected, "just root for Richmond, will you?"

Isaac nodded, "always do."

-

After waking up in a sleeping bag and changing into his best fit, Moe headed to Nelson Road. They weren't actually training today, just him and the other new recruits getting the lay of the pand and signing some paperwork. Maybe a photoshoot or two if Rupert Mannion was the type.

He took a deep breath as he walked into the lobby of the training grounds. He could do this. He had earned this. He was a good footballer.

Here goes nothing.

"Moe?" A familiar voice asked.

"Isaac?" Moe said with a smile.

Moe was doomed.

[travllingbunny]

The Apprentice - brief review and a bit longer thoughts on the real life background vs fictionalized account

Finally saw The Apprentice - it was released in my country 4 days ago, and this was the first evening I could make it. I have lots of thoughts that can be separated into two categories: movie in itself, and its accuracy in terms of the publicly available information.

The film is excellent - not just the performances, which are indeed terrific - both Jeremy Strong as Roy Cohn and Sebastian Stan as Donald Trump are Oscar-worthy - but also cinematography, music, the way it's all put together, which is not surprising as Ali Abbasi is, of course, a fantastic director that always gives his films a lot of atmosphere and tension.

But I agree with many people's comment that it should have more Jeremy Strong as Roy Cohn, not just because I love Jeremy as an actor but also because Cohn is such an interesting figure, and the movie just scratches the surface of his life, including his backstory or influence (you don't even see that he was friends with Nancy Reagan and involved in the Reagan 1980s campaign behind the scenes). I also think we didn't get enough of Trump's family (and again it only scratches the surface of how incredibly dysfunctional they were, according to Trump's niece Mary). I get why they had to cut it down to 2 hours, but I'd love it to be longer and go more in depth on both of these things, and of course show even more of Cohn and Trump's relationship.

Still, what we got is very compelling and complex, much more so than you'd know from many of the reviews. And they were not lying when they said it's all a (very twisted) love story, besides being an American horror story. Even in the middle part where you don't see much of Roy, it relates a lot to Donald's relationship with him and the effects of it. There's a lot of ambiguity and parallels and a very interesting arc that feels like part Succession part Midnight Cowboy And even though Dan Snyder made them take out the homoerotic dream Trump has about Cohn, it's still all gayer than it would be if they actually made out and had sex - so, seems very historically accurate in that regard.

As for the accuracy? It's complicated.

Most of the individual things it shows are known to have happened, but there was a lot of artistic licence taken with the chronology of events and exactly how they happened. Which is understandable as it was done for dramatic purposes.

But here's what I think is the big essential inaccuracy with the film's portrayal of DJT: it's not about making him look worse or look better (I could see people arguing both that the movie's dramatic licenses made him look worse or that they made him look better). It's that the film's central narrative is that he went from an ambitious wuss to a monstrous ruthless "killer", and in the process, it makes him look a lot more independent than he really seems to have been. In reality, it seems he remained a wuss who needs others to take care of him and tell him what to do. The movie downplayed his father's influence on him and his career (i.e. the fact he kept throwing money at his son, which is the only reason he was ever successful), and oddly enough, even ends up downplaying Roy Cohn's influence on him to an extent.

more under the cut with some spoilers, so to speak.

Movie!Trump starts claiming he can do things by himself, without Roy, and starts ignoring him and his advice even before he learns Roy has AIDS. In reality, by all accounts, they were super tight and Trump was calling Cohn every day a bunch of times and was listening to him and all over him, right until he learned that Cohn had AIDS. It was only then that he started avoiding him - it was like "night and day", as Cohn's secretary said. The movie also doesn't show that Cohn was the one who put the ideas of a political role into Trump's head to begin with - in 1984 (the time when Movie!Trump is saying he can do it all by himself), real Trump was babbling in an interview with Washington Post (that was set up by Cohn, who was trying to build a power base in Washington at the time and also got Trump's sister a position in the district court through his political ties with the Reagans) about how he would be a great negotiator with USSR for nuclear disarmament - and then babbled out that "you know who wants me to do this? Roy. Roy thinks I would be good at that" (the journalist, of course, didn't put that in the article, but you can see her talking about it and showing her notes in the documentary Bully, Coward, Victim: The Story of Roy Cohn).

Mary Trump. DJT's niece, has diagnosed him with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder and also Dependent Personality Disorder. The movie gets the first two across but not the third.

The movie's narrative is about how the apprentice "outstrips" the master and decides he doesn't need him. That doesn't seem to fit the reality, where DJT would've probably still be taking Cohn's advice about everything if Cohn hadn't gotten sick and died. He was still yelling "where's my Roy Cohn?" in 2019. He did not outgrow Cohn or anyone.

He also went on and bankrupted himself a couple of times, after Cohn's death - and was bailed out by his father, who supported his career with hundreds of millions of dollars. (The bankruptcies happened years after Cohn's death. But so did Donald's rape of Ivana, and the movie changed the chronology to include it.)

(Also artistic licence is the confrontation between Cohn and Trump over Trump throwing Russell out. I love that scene, and it had to be dramatized that way. Not just because for drama but also because they can't show you characters' inner thoughts. But in reality, it couldn't have happened that way because Trump is known to be a wuss who hates confrontation in person, so there's no way he would have been yelling those things at Cohn in real life.)

[steelbluehome]

Slate

The Trump Biopic Is Here. The Rape Scene Isn’t What Would Make Him Angriest (click for article)

The Apprentice stars Sebastian Stan as the young heir and Jeremy Strong as mentor Roy Cohn. It’s already controversial.

BY SAM ADAMS

MAY 21, 20243:34 PM

Has any human being been less in need of the biopic treatment than Donald Trump? The implicit promise of the form is that it reveals not just facts about its subject—there are many better mediums for that, including the one you are presently engaging with—but something about their character that’s not visible to the microscope of history, something that can only be made clear by passing reality through the filter of fiction. The Apprentice, which premiered at the Cannes Film Festival yesterday, promises to explain how Trump came to be Trump, through an account of his mentorship by the ruthless New York power broker Roy Cohn. But the movie, which was directed by Iranian-Danish filmmaker Ali Abbasi and written by political reporter Gabriel Sherman, tells us nothing we don’t already know, both in terms of its plot and, more fatally, its evaluation of both men’s souls.

That’s not to say that The Apprentice isn’t critical of Trump. It would be hard, in some ways, to think of a less flattering portrait. Sebastian Stan plays him as a hairsprayed vacuum of a man, a blank-eyed megalomaniac whose only gift is his monstrous self-regard. Although it charts his rise from a son of an outer-borough landlord to the spray-tanned face of Manhattan’s 1980s excess, it never grants him the glamour he so desperately sought. The film’s images have the washed-out colors of a VHS tape retrieved from the back of a Goodwill, as if the lens was sprayed with a fresh coat of bronzer before every take. It shows Trump stiffing contractors, scarfing down amphetamines, and raping his wife, Ivana (Borat 2’s Maria Bakalova), when she dares to suggest he could stand to familiarize himself with female anatomy. But while Variety labeled the movie “brutal,” that’s also a word that the film’s Trump and its Cohn, played by Jeremy Strong, frequently apply to themselves, a term that’s been brandished by his critics and embraced by his admirers.

Although some early reviews have shied away from calling the violent intercourse between Donald and Ivana a rape scene—Deadline’s Pete Hammond called it a depiction of “intense sex” that is “likely to be controversial”—there’s no real question how Trump throwing his wife to the floor, ripping off her underwear, and forcing himself into her is meant to be read. But those who hold faith in the civil jury that found him liable for sexually abusing the journalist E. Jean Carroll won’t have their judgment bolstered by another fictional instance, and those who’ve dismissed, ignored, or simply reconciled themselves to such verdicts and reports, and even to Trump’s own admissions, won’t end up seeing The Apprentice, let alone being swayed by it. Besides, while Trump has denied his former wife’s allegations (which Ivana herself later claimed were “without merit”) and threatened to sue the filmmakers for dramatizing them, there’s a sense in which the scene depicts him exactly as he’d like to be seen: as a man who knows what he wants and takes it, without hesitation or apology.

A truly damning moment, one of far too few in The Apprentice’s two hours, is the one that follows the rape: a hard cut from Trump thrusting away on top of his wife to a chipper montage of TV news coverage proclaiming the 1980s “the age of Trump.” Sherman, who wrote the Fox News exposé The Loudest Voice in the Room, is sharpest when he’s tracing—far too infrequently—the way Trump’s rise to prominence was not just enabled but almost wholly invented by a credulous news media looking to replace the urban unrest of the 1970s with a gleaming vision of the 1980s metropolis: a shining skyscraper on a hill. When a TV reporter (giving off strong Barbara Walters vibes although not credited as such) asks him what he might do if his grandiose real estate developments don’t bear fruit, Trump says he might run for president, and though he immediately treats it as a joke, she doesn’t even try to conceal her delight at his juicy response: “Great answer.” Late in the film, he meets with Tony Schwartz, the co-author of Trump: The Art of the Deal, who’s puzzled why Trump wants a journalist who’s been critical of him to write his book. This time, Trump assures him, Schwartz will be nice, “because I’m paying you.”

Any portrayal of Cohn exists in the shadow of Tony Kushner’s Angels in America, and Sherman’s script doesn’t give Strong anything like the fuel he’d need to escape its orbit. But Cohn is at least a more complicated figure than Trump, a political prime mover from the Army–McCarthy hearings to the Reagan administration who was also a profoundly closeted gay man (although, as at least Kushner’s version of Cohn argues, not a homosexual, because a homosexual is a man with no power). Even from the beginning, Strong seems to be preparing us for Cohn’s downfall, the period when, weakened by AIDS and abandoned by his allies, he lost his law license and faded from public view. But it’s an attempt at empathy that, in a movie painted in such broad strokes, comes across as merely mawkish. We’re meant to feel the cruel sting of Trump abandoning the man who taught him everything, discarding a loyal ally as soon as he’s no longer of use, but there’s no weight to his betrayal because we never expect him to do anything else.

In an interview after The Apprentice’s premiere, Abbasi offered to screen the film for Trump personally, adding “I don’t necessarily think that this is a movie he would dislike.” But rather than taking him up on that offer, Trump’s spokesperson called it a film that “doesn’t even deserve a place in the straight-to-DVD section of a bargain bin at a soon-to-be-closed discount movie store.” Trump has known for decades that there’s nothing more powerful than the ability to hold people’s attention, and the sickest burn is suggesting that the movie isn’t even worth a hate-watch. The mere existence of The Apprentice flatters his vanity and burnishes his legend. Its most devastating sequence doesn’t involve backstabbing or lawbreaking or even sexual assault. It’s when the film intercuts Cohn’s funeral with Trump undergoing liposuction and a scalp reduction to reduce his bald spot. He’s not a titan of industry or a power player or a future world leader, just a middle-aged man with a bulging gut and thinning hair. Trump can’t sue for that sequence, but it’s the one that would make him truly furious.

[vampy-bats]

Oh my gods, I colored and shaded something? What a surprise, it’s my DMC OC! I finished this while avoiding my missing schoolwork, so enjoy the fruits of my bad decisions

*Vergil and Rhiannon hate each other. I, the artist, do not hate Vergil and I think he’s neat. Vergil calls Rhi a wench, and Rhi calls Vergil Roi des Cons.

⬇️ backstory below if you care⬇️

First off, I headcanon that empusas work like real life ants. They have castes and an underground/Hell hive and are carnivorous.

Second, Rhiannon’s powers lie in blood-bending. She mostly used her own blood to grow blades from her skin, but she’s able to control any blood. She manipulates the life force within the blood rather than any physical substance. Rhiannon also stores blood she consumes in her skin like red and “worker” empusas do.

Third, I’m using the games as a time reference. The games still happen as canon here.

TLDR for the full backstory-

Rhiannon Valond is half empusa queen, half human. Dante ruins her family’s livelihood but it’s fine bc she found her bio dad in the process. Rhi searches for work for long enough that she moves to England. She did not anticipate encountering the man who almost killed her nor did she plan on falling in love with him.

————————

This is a long one and I’m not super confident in my writing, so bear with me.

Rhiannon came into existence when a French bio-demonologist decided to fuck around and find out. Dr. Blanchard (the scientist in question) doused himself in empusa drone pheromones and walked right into a hive with the intent to map it. He did not account for the fact that it was darker than a void in the hive, nor did he know the effects the pheromones would have. He was eventually rescued by devil hunters with little to no memory of the excursion.

A few years later, the empusa hive was revisited by devil hunters. This time, they had stumbled upon a human girl around 2 years old. She seemed completely normal except for a bright red forelock. The girl was named Rhiannon at the orphanage.

When Rhiannon was 13, demonic powers began to manifest in her. Her powers were left unchecked long enough to nearly kill someone before devil hunters were called again. Only one hunter answered the call: a man named Andre Valond.

Andre carried the belief that devils cannot cry, and that any being that cries has enough humanity to be saved. When Andre arrived at the foster home Rhiannon was in, she broke down into tears. Andre spared her life and took her under his wing. It wasn’t long before Rhiannon was officially adopted into the Valond family, finally gaining parents and three younger brothers.

The Valond family was sustained on the constant income from fending off the empusa hive. The French military caught wind of a certain legendary devil hunter from England. A letter lands on the desk of Devil May Cry. (c. DMC3)

Demonic steel clashes with blood-forged iron. Neither fighter can see the other with human eyes. Dante only can defend himself by his 6th sense. Whatever is attacking him is unlike anything he has ever fought before, but he knows he’s equally matched.

Dante catches an opening, pinning his attacker to the ground with his sword. It’s only then that Rhiannon de-triggers. Queue a dramatic speech that I shall not transcribe.

With her main source of income gone after Dante’s little Paris vacation, Rhiannon is forced to look elsewhere for work. She finds a position at an academic institution for controlling “test subjects”. Several assistants point out Rhiannon’s striking resemblance to their lead researcher. She doesn’t get to meet the man until someone finds out about what she can do.

Rhiannon receives special attention from Dr. Blanchard for being a devil hybrid, even becoming a test subject herself. He conducts several DNA tests to find out what kind of devil she could possibly be. Blanchard runs Rhiannon’s genetic markers through his data bank, completely forgetting his own was recorded for a previous project. The best possible matches for Rhiannon’s DNA is an Empusa Queen and Dr. Blanchard himself.

With no real way to prove it, Dr. Blanchard’s hypothesis becomes Rhiannon’s new truth. Her biological father is this man of science and her biological mother is a giant ant demon. How this combination occurred, no one would ever know. Rhiannon decided to keep the Valond family name, as she still considers Andre to be her dad.

Nothing lasts forever, and Blanchard’s team is forced to focus on new projects. Rhiannon loses her job a-fucking-gain and starts searching for hunting gigs. Rumors lead the now 27 year old woman to a tiny city in England. (c. 2007 anime)

Rhiannon finds her way to Bobby’s Cellar, where a certain white-haired man whistles from the bar. The blonde girl he’s with smacks him upside the head, earning a laugh from Rhiannon.

Dante and Rhiannon get on like oil and water at first. Rhi hates the way Dante never seems to take anything seriously. She despises the way he keeps so many damn secrets. And of course, all Dante can do is flirt and joke. Dante continuously tries to steer Rhi away from devil hunting, oblivious to the fact she’s done it her whole life. Things change the moment Dante first witnesses Rhiannon’s Devil Trigger in battle.

Fast forward a good 10 years (c. DMC 4), and Dante and Rhiannon had eloped. Neither had enough friends and family to have a large wedding, and they kept it on the down low. Somewhere in this time skip, Rhiannon lost her left leg above the knee, forcing her into retirement. They also have two kids, Leona and Percival (ages 3 years and 7 months respectively by the events of DMC 4).

After DMC 5, Rhiannon takes over Devil May Cry. Nico makes a fully functional brass leg for Rhi. The new prosthetic allows her to go back into devil-hunting again, although she’s rusty from so many years of retirement. (The brass leg is a reference to the mythological empusas).