#.idkkkk its so complicated. i love him sm hes the only dad ive got and ill necer forgive him for that but also. i still love him
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ooo im all wobbly now. good thing i am out of beer Lest the evil demon who livedin my head
#everytime i get inebriated a little demon in my head goes One more hit would be fine. one more drink would be fine. one more gummy woudl be#fine... and its like Devil stop saying that lest i traumadump to my father abt HIS parenting. itll get awkward#luckily im less likely tom traumadumop to mydad now due to being 2500 miles away from every single person who loved me and cares abiut me#oh gd i miss my dad dude i need to call my dad.i cant right now bc im drunk adn also its 3am for him but i rly miss my dad#i havent talked to himbasically since i last saw him :[[[#sry this is the stupid part of me talking#but man i wish i hadnt stopped talking toh im after thezoo bc i rly rly wish i had talked to him more yk#but also glad i did bc well Literally hearing his voice sent me into a panic attack after that#adn like ill never forgive him but also#im like#.idkkkk its so complicated. i love him sm hes the only dad ive got and ill necer forgive him for that but also. i still love him#i hope he knows that yk#even when he didnt love me i still loved him#yk. sry tumblr. ignore all this
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