#...wouldn't dream having that picture taken and shared though

[gae-ta]

i wonder what the evolutionary advantage would be to have pointy elf ears compared to round human one

like... do they hear better on the account of having more room to absorb noise or is it about body  language? like the ears perk up when happy and down when sad?

like tmi but i can move my ears no problem.. just imagine being able to use it to tell others my mood like it’s a second set of eyebrows

[shutupheathersorryheatherr]

"Forever"

✰—-summery: seungmin has been realizing that he wants a forever with you. Honestly in whatever way you’ll have him. And maybe little domestic things like kisses on cheeks, lacing fingers a shared lived in home and a big ass ring on your finger, but now so overcome with love, he’s coming to realize he also wants to breed you. He knows no kids are on the radar for now… but a guy can have a fantasy right? And a guy can dream right?

✰--- approx: 30 min read

✰--- A/n i really have noting to say. I’m gonna continue my smutober series in the coming couple weeks yall trust 🙏🏼I have a few more smut fics that I’ll be getting to over the next couple weeks so think of it as an expansion of my lil smutober;)

✰— warnings/info: kissing, smut with sort of a plot ig, cursing, fluffy lovey dovey, tooth rotting fluff basically, breeding kink, raw fucking (do as I say not as I do wrap before u tap yall) ummm sex dream? As always bad spelling. Think that’s it

~this is simply a piece of fiction. My imagination onto “paper.” This is in no way is mean to be taken as an actual and real representation of anyone.~

if you don’t have an age indicator saying you’re not a minor in your blog then I will be blocking you! So minors dni!!

•••••••••••••••••••••

Seungmin can't count how many times hes fallen in love with you. from every time you laugh to the way you smoothed our your shirt that one time and have never done it since but for some reason hes been thinking about for two months.

hes a guy of repetition. he likes having a routine, he loves that youre a part of it. and for him, thinking about you is always a part of it. but so much so that he sometimes finds himself daydreaming and distracted, he should be embarrassed, having to ask people to repeat themselves because "oh wow y/n likes that shade of green that they're wearing" but he really doesn't care. but at the same time you make him work that much harder. make him want to do better to either make you proud or impress you like some eighth grader he doesn't know.

he loves his job, he really does, but all he wants to do sometimes is come home to you. it makes him not only work faster sometimes but harder. maybe because he wants to be good enough and worthy for you and your love or maybe just because you bring that side out of him more than it already is. whatever it is he knows you just make him better. and its cheesy and mushy but you really do complete him

his arm looks better when you hold it, his pictures feel empty when youre not beside him, and you feel the same way too-- the bed always is unreasonably cold when he isn't behind you holding you close to his heart. or when hes not inside you, lets be honest.

he laughs at the members when they tease him about you having "girlfriend privileges". and tells him he doesn't see it. but at first he really didnt. now he sees it so well he hears it. he prides himself in making you happy, being the best boyfriend he can. thats one of the things you love about him he takes everything on with a passion, devoted to his goals.

sure he still pokes fun at you and is a lovely little menes but lets be real he lovey dovy with you a lot of the times too! and you get away with so much more with a lovesick puppy look on his face than anyone else. he wouldn't go all aspiring poet and say youve changed him but youve just... brought out another side of him. and as much as he gives you hard time you both know he loves it.

and you secretly love it when he says ew when you kiss him then he tackles you peppering your face with them a mintute later

the slight obsession with you is borderline concerning he thinks at this point-- once someone flirted with him at a bakery and the only thing he could think about was how they were standing in front of that dessert he knew you liked and he politely just asked them to move cause "I think Im gonna buy that for my parter I want to take a closer look". needless to say the person got the message.

though he didn't even fully realize they were flirting with him until he told you the story of how "a week ago when I was at that bakery someone was talking to me but I wasn't paying attention cause they were standing in front of the cold case." he though they were, with the over the top smiles and that little giggle. but sadly he was easily distracted by the thought of how "yn would like this"

The downside to how much he thinks of you is that at some point during the day if he isn't careful hes gonna get half hard. he feels like some pre pubescent boy that can't control himself and he hates it. nevertheless, the girlfriend privileges continue-- with the playful banter between you two and how much you tease him. not many other people could get away with poking seungmin in the cheek and saying "poke" for a full minute without him saying something.

in fact, hes smiling.

and not that youre complaining one bit when sees you after a long day and pounces on you, trying to rip your clothes off. but make no mistake, as stated before hes soft for you. well, mentally at least, cause most of the time he can't seem to control his boner around you. but all this overwhelming feelings of love has to go somewhere... right?

and it just so happens to be expressed and poured out so wonderfully in bed. you think you noticed it before he did, but there has been a pattern with him as of late--

it all started with a team a out you. noting too out of the ordinary. you started on top of him, as he helped you bounced on his cock, so hard and leaking for you. somehow you needed up beneath him after you came, but seungmin wasn't done yet, still pumping into you, somehow deeper than before trying to reach spots he never breached. "damn I love you so much. mhm, gonna fill you up" he breaths out in his dream. your eyes rolled into the back of your head in pleasure, "you gonna put a baby in me? please?" you moan, cupping his cheek and holding his hand in such a sweet and domestic way that it should offset the way he was filling you up with his cum, slipping out of you then plugging your pretty hole with his fingers, thrusting anything that leaked out back in. gotta make sure it takes right? make sure you get nice a round a swollen in a few months

but it didnt, the look of pure love you gave him as he was babbling about breeding you? fuck that really got to him. dream you wanted this too? dream you loved and trusted him so much and wanted forever with him just as he did with you? So when he woke up, still hard and cum leaving a dark stain on his boxers. he didnt know what to do. usually he'd know the answer or honestly go to you to help him. but this was... different, uncharted territory. sure there was always the thought of something like this in the back of his mind but it was never this strong. let alone had he ever had a dream about it.

He turns to the clock, 3:43 sharp and after tossing and turning, flipping his pillow over three times and realizing it felt better on the first side he still can’t fall asleep. He lets his eyes graze over your sleeping still figure, you’re faced away from him body covered by the blanket. But the curves and dips of your are still visible. It’s dark but he feels like he can still see you so clearly. He could probably feel every bit of your too over that thin little blanket. If you could even call it that I mean it wasn’t really doing much to warm you he was sure. That’s when he pulled you close by your middle, pressing your back up to is chest, his fingers dipping under your shirt like it always does when you two cuddle (though when you’re awake it sometimes slides higher than others) god your skin was cold.

He subconsciously moved you closer moving his hips flush with your ass. Though in hindsight that might’ve not been the best idea. Seeing as he was now fully hard from his dream and your body settling into his wasn’t doing him any good. “Min?” Did you really have to call him that right now? But against his better judgement since it very much was 3 am in the morning right now, he stayed glued next to you. “Min?” For once he fumbles, “yeah?” “I know you’re awake.” He bends his neck down to peck the top of your head “doesn’t mean you have to—“ “thank you, I was a little cold” you interrupt him while turning your body around to face him, hooking a leg over his”

well if you didn’t know before now you do. He thinks. “I was already half awake don’t worry,” he sighs “I figured” you smile at the fact that by now he knows all your little ins and outs all your little quirks. “You we’re kinda loud” you chuckle, and before he gets a chance to respond you’re reaching over him to turn on the light, it’s something so mundane so normal but somehow he’s still enamored by you. And with the way you’re basically on top of him, titties in his face he’s not getting soft anytime soon. “I think you’re hearing things.” He playfully scoffs “I think I should schedule you an ear appointment. My grandma knows a good one, maybe you can get matching hearing aids” you chuckle “and I think you still have a hard on”

that shut him up quick enough. you smile to yourself, you swear the man was all bark no bite sometimes when it came to you. seungmin glances over to the clock again. "sweetheart its so late its early..." he mumbles, sliding a not so sneaky little hand up your torso. his hands finds the side of your breast, then your collar bone, then settles back down on the neckline of your sleep shirt, playing with it.

"your dream sounded interesting," you peck his cheek and he flushes as if he didnt just dream about pumping you full of cum a second ago, "what was it about?" you ask, ignoring his comment about the time. you lace your fingers with his and he brings your hand with him under the blanket, settling it on his now painfully hard feeling cock straining against his boxers without a word, just that mischievous little devils grin.

you peck his lips this time, seungmin craining his head to chase you, lips still slightly smelling of that chapstick you always put on before bed. his tasting salty like the light sheen of sweat that coats his face from his dream. though you plan on making him much hotter in the next coming minutes. he pulls you back down to his lips by the back of your neck. a gentle but firm touch that mad you go crazy. the kisses are needy, lustful, but somehow also full of pure love and passion. he doesn't quite know how to express all the good that he feels for you, he isn't sure he ever will, but whenever he kisses you like this of late, he hopes his feelings will get through to you.

and you feel the emotion he pours into it when it happens, you really do. he pulls away a little later, never tired of kissing you and hand down in-between your legs rubbing your soaking pussy. "I just" he smiles through his gasps of air, "love you so much" it was sad really, that that was all he could say but he felt something for you that words cannot express in the English language, or Korean, or any language hes come across.

his eyes look like that one begging emoji. he just... he needs you to understand. he doesn't know why he just blurted it out. but you had just made this cute little face of pleasure. pleasure he was giving you. you felt good because of him. and it had just slipped out!

you didnt realize how much you wanted him, how desperate you were until in a matter of minutes youre gasping and whining for him. "fuck, breed me, make me yours" you say, barely over a whisper into his ear, chin on his shoulder. your sleep shirt bunched up around your hips that raped around his, his arms are laced behind your back, hugging you a keeping you close chest to chest as you bounce and rock yourself on his dick. so caught up in the moment, he misses the smirk on your face when you said it, blissfully unaware that you knew full well what he was dreaming about. and how hot you found it.

he whines, "no dont say that youre gonna make me cum... not--" he breaths out when your cunt tightens around him just so, "not now--" he already had you close to cumming earlier, when he was guiding your wt heat along his leg, grinding you on him. but he wanted to take care of you first ya know? be a gentleman. but he knew he wasn't going to last long if you kept talking like that. he reaches down to your core and swollen bud, rubbing it just how you like.

"well fill me up then min." you accentuate your words with a long, languid rock of yourself on him, his leaking cock hitting just where you want him to. god you feel so full, your eyes nearly roll into the back of your head thinking about how full you'd feel with all his warm seed inside you.

"no baby please dont say that either." his voice is strained, his words are lazy unlike how he usually sounds. thats hw you knew he was already close. "no please, I wanna feel so full." you pout, and his mind goes almost blank. he moves his free hand to your hip bone, guiding you as you impale yourself on his cock ever time you lift up and slam back down. though he wasn't really doing much guiding as he was mostly enjoying the soft squeeze of your skin, fingers on your plush thighs. he subconsciously nibbles at your collarbone, surely it'll leave a mark later you said you wanted him to make you his right?

"but you already have my cock in you baby. dont you feel it?" he wonders aloud, meeting your pumps up n' down with renewed vigor. "its so hard for you, god you make me so hard" you still your movements, letting him do most of the work thrusting up into your pussy, making wet squelching noises that fill the room.

"mmhm so big n' hard. cum inside me? I know you'd fill me up so good."

"oh god." that nearly sent him over the edge. you look down to where your bodies meet and his hand is rubbing you, fuck his hand looks delicious, fingers perfectly long and hand with veins popping out. "I need you to cum with me." and not long later you do. you cm hard, knees shaking and out of breath. you'd asked him to cum inside and thats what he does. you feel your insides flood with warmth. damn he must've cum a lot.

he stays inside for a moment and is about to pull out when you stop him, hand on his bicep, "keep it inside." you tell him, and this time he catches your smirk. And seungmin just laughs, kissing your neck in a manner so sweetly you almost forget about his dick inside you. “You heard my dream?” Though he already knew. “Mmhm” “I love you so much” his nose presses into your neck “I wanna spend forever with you” “aw me too min” “hm was it good for you then too?” “So you didn’t hear me moaning for you? Guess not” you tease and he scoffs. “I did. And I think the neighbors heard too. We’ll have to talk more in the morning and do some googling I guess. But thank you” “you’re thanking me now?” You laugh. “Yeah I—“ “I think it’s hot too don’t worry. That’s why I want you to stay inside. We want it to take huh baby” he shivers, running his palm up your spine.

seungmin was a reasonable guy, he knew that this was alll fantasy and having kids wasn't on your radar right now. but he still loved it. He didn’t know what it was, maybe it was just you two growing together, growing intertwined. But as of late, he’s just been wanting or maybe finally realizing just how much he loves and cares for you. how much he wants with you. seungmin hasn't really thought of it before, but maybe he wants and already cherishes those cute little things with you-- like the kisses on cheeks when one of you greet the other at the door, the waking up next to each other at dawn, and everything in-between.

and maybe one day, if you'll let him, he wants to put a big ass ring on your finger. well, some day.

and you loved it too. And him. The way he took his time with you no matter what it is no matter if he already did it a thousand times. Just like a second ago, he caressed every curve and did of your body. Constantly wanted his hands on you, kissing from your neck to your lips over and over.

“Why are you so silent? Don’t you want it too honey?” He smiles from ear to ear “ugh sweetheart you’re amazing” he mumbles before kissing your lips.

~end

thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed please leave some love like comments or a reblog if you did!

[utterlyotterlyx]

When I Danced Under The Stars

Azriel x Fem!Reader

Part Three

Summary - Tamlin's visit leaves your soul in tatters, but there is someone who knows your pain better than anyone.

Warnings - mentions of sexual abuse and neglect, angst, mentions of trauma, fluff

Part One - When I Kissed the Teacher

Part Two - When I Met The Devil

The fear and despair rippled down the path which led to your front door, the pulsating negative energy causing Rhys to roll his shoulders in discomfort.

He imagined your home looking rather spectacular in the daylight, the pale wood and white railings, the small well-kept garden full of blooming tulips, the natural warmth that no doubt usually emitted from the hearth. It was no wonder that Azriel had forgone his own space to spend time in yours.

Rhys had appeared at the end of the cobbled path, wings nowhere to be seen, with tired, worrisome orbs and a heavy heart. It had taken much convincing from Rhys to convince Azriel that he should be the one to talk to you, that if anyone was going to be able to understand your pain it would be him. It felt like eons since he though of Amarantha and what had transpired Under The Mountain, but as he saw you stood there, frozen in fear and overcome with your past traumas, he felt some of his own return to him.

The High Lord had little reason to think of the traumatic events he too endured not that long ago, he had a mate, and a child, and a loving growing family. Amarantha and everything she did was in the past, they had all moved on, he thought he had too but something still lingered deep within his soul, that fear that the past could one day repeat itself. It was a feeling he was doing his best to hide.

Knocking on the door, Rhys sighed when he heard your sniffles, and he pictured you standing on your tiptoes to peer through the peephole at whoever had come to pull you from your turmoil. Then you opened the door, and Rhys wanted nothing more than to bundle you up in his arms and tell you that it was all going to be alright.

Tears stained your red tinged cheeks, your eyes were puffy and swollen, and you were holding yourself, rubbing your arms with your hands whilst standing half behind the door, "Are you here to tell me to leave?"

Rhys could have cried at your broken strangled voice, it was like Lucien had said, Tamlin had the power to strip the light from you, there was no love in your eyes, just pure unfiltered fear. Rhys tilted his head to the side and shook his head, "I'd like you to walk with me," he stepped into your home, and it looked exactly as he had imagined it.

Childish artworks were strewn across the coffee table of your living area, workbooks were marked and stacked to the left of the said artworks, books upon books were stacked on the floor since your bookcases were bursting full of other titles. It was light and airy but oh so comfortable, he could picture you and Azriel cuddled up on the deep rooted love seat talking incoherently about your shared dreams. A faint scent of coffee clung to the air from the not-yet-emptied filter left in the coffee pot in the kitchen, it mixed with the aroma of the burnt firewood from the evening before.

Rhys took a step forward and plucked your cloak from the railing by the stairs, noting the neatly placed belongings on the table there, lined up in a row so that you wouldn't forget anything during the morning rush before school. You stood unmoving by the door, your eyes flickering furiously as he draped the garment over your shoulders and offered you a hand which you stared at for a moment before sliding your hand into his embrace, shuddering in a mixture of fear and and comfort as he placed your hand on the indent of his elbow.

The Sidra bubbled along the rocks, pebbled stone skitted beneath your shared weight. Neither of you said a word, Rhys was content in just having you near, where he knew you were safe, and you were equally as content looking at the night sky full of stars and wonder. A stark difference to the sky of the Spring Court.

"I'm putting you all in danger," you muttered, eyes still fixated to the dancing starlight weaving in the moons embrace, "You should send me away."

Rhys slowed to a stop and turned to face you, examining your features with a look void of any anger, in a way it was unsettling. You were far closer to Feyre than Rhys, it wasn't like you weren't friends, but you'd never spent a moment alone with him, "I'm not sending you anywhere, y/n," he told you softly, with an understanding speckle of kindness in his eye. Your High Lord lowered himself to your level, placing his hands on your upper arms and stroking the clothed skin there, "I'm here because I want you to know that I understand."

Leading you to a small ledge, Rhys perched beside you on the lip of earth, his legs dangling beside your own as the Sidra swam along down the stream, "I know what it's like to be used against your will. I know what it's like to feel tainted and unworthy of anything good. You feel like you don't belong in a way, that everything you went through was deserved and the Mother must see you as evil," he paused and brushed his arm up against your own, to give you some form of caring contact, a break of sunlight in your clouded mind, "I'm sorry that he did that to you, and I'm sorry that you've been living with it all this time. I'm sorry that you felt like you couldn't tell us. I'm sorry, y/n."

Rhys felt the small sobs catch in your throat, you looked up at the sky and blinked hard, furrowing your brow and exhaling softly before looking sideward to him, "Is Feyre angry at me?"

"Cauldron, no," he told you incredulously, shuffling closer to you and wrapping an arm around your shoulder, "If anything she's worried about you, we all are. What you went through is something no one should ever have to deal with, let alone someone as gentle and bright as you."

"You know?" It was a whisper and your chest thundered with the possibility that they all knew what Tamlin had done, that Azriel knew what Tamlin had done. Panic sat in your chest, a birthing monster of gruesome darkness that was threatening to swallow you whole, "How?"

"Lucien," your heart fluttered, Lucien was perhaps the only person who looked out for you then, working directly against Tamlin's orders and desires to set your free, wanting nothing in return but your happiness no matter where you wound up. As if sensing the deep rooted bond between you and him, Rhys spoke, "He's here, he only told us what we needed to know. I hope you don't mind," Rhys' fingers drifted over the tips of your unbound hair.

"No, I don't. It saves me from having to explain it," Lucien was in Velaris. You knew of his bond with Elain, but you never thought you'd ever see him again, you never had the chance to thank him before he threw you onto a horses back and sent you soaring into freedom, "He's really here?"

Rhys hummed in agreement and he felt your chest grow lighter, your shoulders seemed more relaxed and your eyes didn't seem as sad anymore, "I just want you to know that I know what you went through, I went through it too, and if you ever need someone to talk to, someone who understands, then I'm here. I'll always be here."

A small smile graced your lips, "How long did it take you to heal?"

"I'm still working on that. Healing from this kind of trauma isn't instant. I still wake up at night sometimes thinking I'm back under that mountain with her arm draped over me," his eyes glazed over and you knew he was lost in a memory, "Then I realise that I'm next to Feyre, that I'm in Velaris and I have a son. That it was all worth something, it was worth it to be here now with everything I ever dreamed of."

Resting your head on his shoulder felt natural in that moment, like two kindred spirits finding their other half of understanding, "I hope I get to feel like that one day."

Rhys rested his head atop your head and sighed, "You will. I know you will. Velaris is your home and you're safe here, y/n. You're surrounded by people who love you. One day you'll have what I have and look back at this moment and think about how incredibly wise I am."

Scoffing, you rolled your eyes at Rhys, groaning softly as he moved to stand before you, hand outstretched and a wide grin on his lips, "Dance with your High Lord under the stars?"

Smiling, you slid your hand into his, "How could I say no to that?"

It was a tender moment, Rhys placed an arm around your back, his palm flat against the centre curve of your spine, and you leaned into him, head on his chest in the most platonic sense possible as he swayed with you, taking a moment to twirl you under his arm and relish in the joyful giggle that spurted from your lips, "Thank you, Rhys."

"There's no need to thank me, y/n. You mean a lot to us, I think Nyx likes you more than me at this point. Like it or not, you're a part of my family. You make Azriel the happiest I've ever seen him, you've been an amazing friend to all of us. The least I can do is make sure you feel supported and understood."

The pair of you continued to sway, "Azriel is happy?"

Rhys chuckled, "I swear I've never seen him smile so bright or blush so deeply than whenever he returns home from being with you," Rhys pulled away from you slightly, still holding your hand in his, "Azriel would wait an eternity in the depths of hell if it meant he would have the chance to hold you in his arms for a singular moment."

The gaze of your High Lord flickered behind you and his eyes softened as he pulled away from you, "Welcome to the family, y/n. We're all bruised and broken in our own way, you'll fit right in."

That familiar warmth swarmed you, cool kisses snaked up your calves, curling around the small cuts inflicted on you from the broken glass that you hadn't had a moment to clean, "Thank you," your words were sincere and full of blinding relief, Rhys simply bowed his head to you and disappeared into the night.

It was like he knew you needed a moment, just a moment to ground yourself and exhale shakily before your turned into his awaiting arms and flung yourself into his embrace.

Azriel wound his fingers around the back of your neck and inhaled your scent, blinking hard and burrowing his nose into the nape of your neck, "I'm so sorry. I should have told you. I'm so sorry, Az."

"Shhh, don't do that," he told you, his lips pressed against the curve of your neck and shoulder, "Don't apologise for what others did to you. Don't ever apologise for what he did."

"I feel so tainted, and dirty," you sniffled, his shadows caressed your cheeks and he secured his arms tightly around your waist, "I don't deserve you. I'm too ruined, Azriel. Now that he knows that I'm here, I'm not safe. We're not safe."

It didn't escape Azriel's notice that you couldn't even say Tamlin's name, it was like if you did say it then you'd perish into ash. Azriel took your face in his hands, his touch so soft and pure compared to the grip Tamlin had on you only hours before, "I will protect you until my dying breath, and even then I will raise from my grave and return to you. Nothing will ever keep me from you. You are my empire, y/n. You are the one I will burn for, you are the one I will douse myself in blood for, you are the one that makes every single bad day worth the chance of one blissful moment. I won't let anything happen to you, I promise, okay?"

"Please don't leave me," your face contorted and tears spilled from those eyes that he could spend the rest of his days gazing into, "You make me feel alive, like there was a reason I survived. It was to find you."

Azriel's heart sang at your words and he could have crumpled to his knees before you if you weren't the one holding him up.

The stars shone overhead, glittering the sky with endless possibility and Azriel couldn't stop himself from closing the gap between you, capturing your lips on his in the most ethereal embrace, so soul shaping that he didn't think such a feeling was possible. Your tears wet his cheeks and your fingers raked through his hair in desperation, in desperation to feel loved and something other than the heartbreak of your trauma. To feel worthy of something good.

Pulling apart, you were both breathless, and Azriel could see the exhaustion in your eyes. It had been a long day for you, from worrying all day about Nyx and your family, to seeing Tamlin again and feeling the tidal wave slaughter over your soul, to feeling like you had to leave. Azriel pressed his lips to your hairline and held you close, "Let's get you to bed."

You gripped onto him as he went to pull away, "Will you stay? Tonight. Would you?"

"I'd do anything for you," his words pierced your heart, you entwined your fingers in his and allowed him close enough to lift you into his arms, unfurling his wings, "And tomorrow, maybe I can take you to see Lucien? Or we could stay in a read?"

Humming drowsily, you responded, "Lucien, please."

The stars were so close as Azriel soared through the skies of Velaris, cradling you into his chest. You felt nothing but serene slumber pull you into its embrace as the stars sang their sweet lullaby, singing their love to you as your eyes fluttered closed and you became shrouded in their safe, loving arms.

You are safe. You are loved. You are strong. You are worthy.

Authors Note

Ahhhhh!!!! I hope this was worth the wait x

Part 4??

Taglist

@fxckmiup @sh4nn @acourtofbatboydreams @lilah-asteria @iloveboba777 @lisanna2000 @brieflyclassymortal @thecraziestcrayon

[sqnos]

loser monologue.

manjiro sano x fem!reader (1.8k)

warnings: some explicit nsfw, angst + implied tr spoilers not proof read

a/n: this is soso bad im sorry im gonna post this and ghost this site forever </33 anyways this fic follows the lyrics of loser monologue by sign crushes motorist

i stare at your pictures for hours on end

dreaming, fantasizing about holding you

feeling my hands on your bare skin

just being with you



the numbing atmosphere wrapped around manjiro's body as he sat on the edge of his bed, moonlight illuminating his pale features while he reaches for a familiar portrait. the edges of the photo have weakened, growing flimsy as the structure had deteriorated over time. despite this, manjiro saw the picture the same every time, just like how he did when it was first printed out of shinichiro's old canon camera - one he had inherited after his brother's death.

as manjiro brought the picture closer into view, your familiar face welcomed his sight. the only light flinting onto your picture was from tokyo's street lights, captivating your features etched permanently onto the photograph. his impassive black eyes skimmed the back of the paper as he flipped it, reading the date while he vividly recalled the day.



june 18th, 2006

the former blonde had always thought you were stunning. in his eyes, no one compared to your beauty. he admired everything about you - the way you looked in the mirror to style your hair or the way the sunlight touched your skin and illuminated every feature. the imperfections you saw were only human to him, the blemishes and freckles that littered your skin, and the slight crease between your eyebrows that grew from the occasional scoldings he faced when he fought.

that particular day, you had been walking along the docks manjiro always visited. he carried with him a piece of taiyaki, stuffed with red bean paste that he generously munched on while you made your commute. as you sat on the concrete structures, you looked ahead and admired the gaze of the sun. the wind grazed your hair, blowing it back to reveal more of your face as you turned to manjiro with a slight smile - one he always adored to be blessed with.

the two of you spent hours along the water, admiring the beauty of your surroundings. for you, the surroundings were the way the sun paved light against the grass, the wind blowing against the stray flowers, and the occasional wildlife that passed by. for manjiro, his admiration was solely for you. it was discreet and you were far too enamored with nature to notice how he looked in your direction. hours of talking about school, what you wanted to do when you grew up, and how you planned to stay along each other's side the whole way. you didn't know it would never happen, but it wasn't your fault. sharing earbuds and listening to each other's favorite music while you passed jokes until sunset. he remembers taking the picture. the way the light flashed and your soft laughter could be heard ringing in his ears - only now it was a faint echo, something he wouldn't allow himself to experience again. he had shared some of his taiyaki with you, something he was adamant about keeping for himself despite your pleas. but there was one thing manjiro was entirely weak for - love. so, for you he allowed you to finish his beloved snack. he had taken the picture in the middle of you eating the treat, being graced with a slight scold of how it's 'impolite' to take a picture while you're eating. he couldn't care less, though. manjiro found himself smiling at the faint crumbs around your mouth and the close-mouthed smile that stretched your lips. 

when the cold nipped at your bare skin, manjiro made sure to encase his hand in yours as he led you to his bike. he'd drive you home, peaking over his shoulder occasionally to see how you took in the night of tokyo. the way your eyes gleamed, the way he could feel your grip around his waist tighten as you buried your head into his back with a giggle. 

god, you were so beautiful.

manjiro was too busy reliving the memory to notice the way his finger brushed against the photograph, caressing your cheek while he continued to get lost in his thoughts.



but i know it'll never happen

but i can't stop myself from fantasizing



the long black locks cascaded over manjiro's face as a sigh escaped his mouth. often times late at night, his mind would drift and he would think about what could've been if he never left. but he would never know because he could never go back. he can't help but wonder if you would love him how he is now. would you still hold him tightly like you would on your late motorcycle rides? would you still comb his hair back and style it when draken didn't have the time to? would you still look at him with those eyes - the ones he can't help but feel staring back at him even through the old memories.

"'jiro, sit still!" your muffled reprimands entered his mind once more.

"god, how does draken even deal with you sometimes?" you giggled under your breath, trying to hold the hair tie between your teeth while you split manjiro's blonde hair. he could feel your nail card through his strands, leaning into your touch as he retold the events of his dream from the previous night.

"it was the best! i could feel the wind against my skin when I was racing," he chuckled as he rocked back and forth. "someday, i'll be racing on the track professionally," he added, turning his head once he felt you tug his hair into a half-up. he could see the ghost of a smile flint on your lips as you spoke.

"does that mean i get to cheer you on from the sidelines?" you asked, tilting you head with a smile.

"only if you're still buying my weekly dorayaki," he teased, his dark eyes admiring your features while you brushed any loose strands away from his face. 

you rolled your eyes, taking his hand in yours while you guided him to stand up. "come on, you'll be late for school," you reminded him, the warmth from your hands providing a blank expression of surprise across the blonde's face as you let out a soft giggle.



you're so beautiful and funny

and anytime i see your picture or even hear your name, 

my stomach flips and i get butterflies

every word you say sends goosebumps over my body



loving him must've been easier in your head. as he sits in his room - thumbing at your photograph the way he had done so many times before - he recalls his last memory of you.

it was different this time. it was so real, even when he was just reliving the past. he would do anything to touch you and drag his hands across the expanse of your body, caressing your waist and holding your hand as he slowly fucked himself into you.

"doing so good f'me," he praised as he hovered above you, stroking the stray wisps of hair that stuck to your forehead from perspiration. he let out soft groans, feeling you clench around him as his thrusts grew strategically deeper. 

"always so pretty," he grunted, his onyx eyes peering into your own as tears welded on your lash line. your hands wandered manjiro's, hugging him closer to your chest as he continued fucking your cunt. goosebumps spread across his skin at your touch, one so gentle that he could only receive from you.

"m-manjiro," you whimpered, burying your head into the crevice of his neck as tears streamed down your flushed cheeks. it was desperate - the cries you wailed for him and the occasional whimper he'd let slip. you had waited so long for this moment; getting this close to him. "i'm gonna cum," the plea escaped your mouth, prompting manjiro's eyes to flicker on your glossy, abused lips. 

he grunted, shifting his eyesight away from your face as he buried himself deeper, "cum for me," he whispered, "wanna feel you come undone on my cock," 

his voice was entirely demanding but remained to carry an undertone of affection alongside it. this moment was perfect - the moonlight glistening upon your sweat-glazed bodies as occasional thuds of your bedframe roamed through the room.

you whined as your cunt constricted, clenching him tight to your walls as you felt your orgasm wash over you. desperate cries of his name fell from your lips, the feeling of him filling you up overtaking your senses.

manjiro slowly pulled out, his hands making haste to support your limp body as he guided you to lay on his chest. the heat spread satisfyingly throughout your body as you lay there alongside him, glossy eyes fluttering closed while feeling manjiro's thumb wipe away your leftover tears.

"i'll love you more than you'll ever know,"

it was the last night he ever shared with you. he knew his battle against the second generation of toman was tomorrow and he wanted nothing but you to keep you by his side. but it was wrong. it was selfish. he couldn't ridden you with his compulsive tendencies. every time he blacked out and saw more blood seeping through the wrinkles of his hands; he knew he was losing control, and he would lose you soon too.

he couldn't risk it. living with all he's lost and knowing you would just be another causality dealt with his own hands. the life you would live alongside him wasn't the one you dreamt of as children. it was violent, murderous, and dangerous. you deserved better, didn't you? 

he wants to go back. he misses you so badly - you were his comfort, his person. but it's gone now. the years of friendship - no, the years of something more that grew gradually between the two of you were wasted and thrown out. tossed to the back of the blonde's mind like nothing more than a bad dream. he'd atone for it soon, he just wasn't sure when. surely, this was the life he deserved, was it not? if he had, he couldn't guarantee the safety of you or anyone remotely close to him. so he sits in his million dollar penthouse alone. the darkness crowding the house as he sits there and stares at your photo, the one he had held so many times before but could never quite feel the warmth nor the comfort he sought. this weekly routine he followed, he was still holding onto everything he had.



i've tried for so long not to look at you

to not look at pictures of you

to cut off all contact with you

but i can't stop it

i can't stop how i feel

i don't know if i'll ever stop feeling this way

at least not for a long time

[yan-lorkai]

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Yan!Vil with homesick!reader

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ A/n: Been in soft vil moods this past days so I wrote this lol.

Being in a different world is hard, it's scary. And the worst of it is feeling alone even if there are people by your side every day. This is exactly how you've been feeling these last few days, lost and without a path, without a clue and without any progress. The idea of ​​​​returning to your world disappears from your head more and more, it seems more distant and impossible.

You wonder what the people most important to you think of what happened. Do they think you ran away? Are they still looking for you even after all these months?

"Prefect, shouldn't you be sleeping at this time?"

Vil's strict but soft voice sounded behind you. And you look at him, trying to read his expressions, but there's nothing on his face that lets you know how he feels or what he thinks. You can only imagine how intriguing the scene from his point of view must be. You sitting on the ground next to Ramshackle's front door as you look out over the yard and think about everything you've left behind, annoying tears drying in your eyes.

If only Tsunotaro had shown up today, maybe your melancholy thoughts wouldn't have troubled you so much that you couldn't sleep. And maybe now Vil wouldn't be looking at you that way, as if scolding a child.

"Prefect, I await an answer." He crouched down beside your, carefully wiping away your tears with his fingertips. "Why are you out here in the cold and crying? Why didn't you come to me or the others?"

You shrugged. In NRC, there is an unspoken rule that nobody truly cares about your problems. And well, they're all villains, so it's not like you really want to share your feelings with them without the fear that someone will laugh.

But it's also not like no one will understand your pain. At least not completely, they all had a family to go back to during the holidays, they all had their parents and siblings close by who they could count on in the most difficult times. You only had Grim and he only had you; you two were literally two in one in every sense of the word.

"It just got something in my eye." You lied not caring what he thought, brushing his hand away. You and Vil only interacted during VDC rehearsals, so it's not like you were friends and it bothered you that he was there for you during a fragile moment. "Don't worry about me, I'll be right back to my room. I just needed some air."

A sound of disbelief left Schoenheit and he cupped your face with both hands in a quick gesture, caressing your cheeks and looking deep into your eyes.

"Potato, I can see you're not feeling good." He whispered.

It was true. It was true and for you to hear him say it out loud confirmed that normality had slipped through your fingers and that you really were in a strange world, this wasn't some kind of strange dream. The look so soft in his lilac eyes, the way he caressed your cheeks and pulled you into a hug was all you needed to let the tears roll and the sobs escape your throat.

Maybe even someone strict like him had some sympathy in his heart. His hands gently rubbed your back as he whispered words of comfort, feeling you shiver in his arms. And the scene broke his heart. But your teary eyes certainly were a beautiful sight, not even the most beautiful pictures taken by Rook could compare to you.

"I miss home." You confessed, quiet, fearful.

The hug tightened and you hid your face in his neck, you never wanted to feel that way again and at the same time you wanted to feel everything. Feeling was one of the only things you could do and missing everything gave you the necessary determination to keep surviving one more day in this strange world.

"It's understandable that you feel that way," Vil muttered. "But, you know, there are ways to alleviate this longing and feel closer to the people we love, even though we are far away."

You looked at Vil curiously, frowning at what you had just heard. Whatever solution he was going to offer, you knew it wouldn't be enough to ease the pain you felt. Still he continued, combing your hair with his fingers. "Write a letter to each person you miss and then burn it, I hear it can help ease the weight you feel."

You looked at him in disbelief and that drew a laugh from Vil who watched your reactions. "Another thing that can help a lot is to create a routine, something that you do every day that makes you feel closer to home. If you liked to listen to music or read at home, do that here. It can give you a feeling of comfort and familiarity."

You nodded and thanked him for sharing these tips, even though a pessimistic part of your brain doubted any of them would work. Yet you were grateful for his intentions and saw him in a new light from that moment on.

Vil then placed his hand over your heart. "Remember that you are not alone and that there are people who care about you, they're all right there."

You smiled once more.

Oh, if you had noticed that peculiar glint in his eyes…

"Thanks, really, I'll think about it." You promised, pulling away from the hug and the hands that massaged your shoulders, feeling like a weight was lifted off your shoulders just by having someone by your side.

Except Vil hates sharing your attention and he would take up every bit of your time because only he could take care of you and love you the way you deserve.

You got up and offered your hand to help him up, then wishing him a good night. Surely you would sleep that night with one less worry, you weren't alone. You had Grim, Ace and Deuce by your side. And… A part of you mind added a new face to the people you felt you could trust, Vil as well.

[joka13]

FANFICTION: Weasley Twins x Reader (Slytherin Girl) - Part 33

WARNINGS: light kissing

So often as it does, your mind composes a dream after you fall into a deep sleep.

You are Draco Malfoy, and you are constantly in a state of fear and dread. Every day is one of misery, though you aren't entirely sure what it is that you are afraid of. Nevertheless, your anxiety embarrasses you, so you taunt and belittle others to hide your own insecurity.

This makes you feel more confident and powerful, but uneasiness still lingers at the back of your consciousness. It remains suppressed and almost forgotten until you are in the presence of certain people: Potter, Snape, Dumbledore, Father, Mother... Umbridge included, but a part of you also likes her because she's helping your power to grow.

Your girlfriend, Maddy, also reminds you of your fear. She shares your fear. You know she's only staying with you because you'll be able to protect her when no one else can. She's selfish... just like you. You wouldn't have ever taken her in if the relationship you had together didn't bother y/l/n. That's how it started, and you had intended to get rid of Maddy a long time ago after she had served her purpose. Instead, you quickly came to realize that she provides a decent distraction from your worries.

And yet, despite how much you deny it, fear, a sense of utter impending doom, prevails...

You wake up from your dream in the early morning and find your pillow wet with tears. You wipe the dry salt off your face and look to the window. It appears you still have a while before you should get out of bed, so you flip your pillow over and attempt to fall back asleep.

You can't help but reflect on your dream, and it disturbs you. You were already well aware that Malfoy was troubled, but standing in his shoes (or rather how your mind pictured what it would be like to stand in his shoes) was truly upsetting. You'd always assumed Malfoy was simply born a prick. You never, until now, would've imagined that he of all people was so scared of anything.

You slowly roll over to glance at Maddy, who snores softly in her own bed. You know it was only a dream, but you feel sorry for her anyway.

Later that day during your lunch break after you've eaten, Fred and George follow you to the library where you look up a recipe for the dreamless sleep potion.

"Why are we here again?" George sniffs, gazing around uninterestedly at the shelves.

"Well, I am here to get a potion formula. I didn't ask you to come with me." You flip through the parchment stack in front of you, spotting the word "dream", and pull out just what you were looking for.

"Nightmares won't let her sleep," Fred explains to George. "If she drinks this potion before bed, she won't have any."

"Nightmares? Would you call the dream you had last night a nightmare, y/n?" George asks as he and Fred tail you on your way to the librarian's desk.

"I... no. Maybe." You borrow the recipe, tuck it neatly into your bag, and lead the twins out to the clocktower courtyard. "I wasn't terrified in the same way that I would be in my typical nightmares. I was scared, but it was sort of... in a depressed way."

"Ah. I'd expect nothing less from Malfoy," Fred says plainly.

You sit down on a cold, stone bench, and the twins, naturally, seat themselves on either side of you.

"Why is that?" you ask.

"He's sad and scared of everything," George says. "And that's that."

Fred slides down into a slump, interlocking his fingers together and flipping them around to crack his knuckles. He then links his hands behind his neck, resting his head. "His father is a control freak, you know. A proud pureblood." He says the word like it tastes bad in his mouth.

You laugh. "Aren't the Weasley's a pureblood family?"

"Yeah. It's only that other purebloods like Malfoy and his father give us a bad rep," George says. "We don't want to be associated with them at all."

"Anyway," Fred continues. "It's safe to assume that Malfoy didn't have a good childhood. And..." He sits up, getting close so he can whisper, "There are rumors that Malfoy's father is a death eater."

"Really?" you gasp. "You don't mean..."

"A follower of You-Know-Who," George whispers. "That is sure to put some kind of weight on Malfoy's shoulders, even if he isn't one himself... yet."

Though this news is shocking, it doesn't surprise you as much as it should. You'd never met Malfoy's father before, but from what you remembered about him from your dream...

"It was just a dream," you say, shaking your head. "It doesn't mean anything."

"That's not true. It at least means you've been thinking about Malfoy," Fred teases.

This comment catches you off-guard. "W-well, he's made it very clear that he despises me, and the feeling is mutual. We only dream about the people and things we feel most strongly about, and he is someone I have very strong feelings of hatred for."

Fred and George only nod. You can tell they are tempted to press the matter further, but they don't. Instead they habitually make it about themselves.

"'...the people and things we feel most strongly about...'" George recollects out loud.

"Have you ever dreamt about us, y/n?" Fred asks slyly. Both twins turn their bodies toward you, each resting an arm on the back of the bench behind you.

You giggle. "I think so."

"You think so?" the twins echo in unison.

You nod. "See... I don't recall having any dreams about you two... directly; I don't remember seeing your faces. But, I have had plenty of dreams with things that could be... symbolic of you. I have dreams and remember them so often that I can sometimes notice a pattern. Lately, there's been a repetition of pairs."

"Go on," Fred and George encourage, obviously very interested in what you have to say.

"For example, I had a dream about flying on the back of a two-handed dragon. It didn't mean anything to me then, but, now that I think about it, it happened not long after I'd officially met you both. And then... I dreamt I found two stray kittens on the street back in England. They were orange." You look up from your lap and laugh at the expressions on Fred's and George's faces.

"That was definitely us!" Fred exclaims excitedly.

"I dunno," says George. "I always imagined that, if I were an animal, it'd be something a bit bigger and more intimidating than a... kitten." He scrunches his nose up in disapproval.

You chuckle. "I'll have you know that, after I took the cats into my home and cared for them, they grew up to be giant tigers."

The twins' eyebrows rise in surprise. "That's us," they quickly agree, nodding fervently. You laugh.

"And there's one more," you add. "Not that it matters, but do you remember that dream I had about the basilisk?"

George clicks his tongue. "Yes, yes. Now that I call a nightmare."

"Don't tell us there were actually two basilisks," Fred chortles.

You shake your head. "No, thank goodness. One was bad enough." You shiver at the thought and the chilly, winter air, and Fred and George scoot in closer to keep you warm. "No, it was before I fell into the river that I noticed at each end of the bridge I stood on was a way out amidst all the fog. I... fell through the bridge because I couldn't decide in time which path to go to."

"And you think we are the... pathways," Fred clarifies thoughtfully.

"Yes...?" you awkwardly chuckle. "This was when I was... I mean, when my feelings were, you know... torn. Before I felt comfortable with... loving both of you..." You trail off and look around in nervousness, making sure that no one else can hear your conversation.

"Aw, you're so cute, y/n!" George coos. He wraps his arms around you in an affectionate, tight squeeze.

"...Why? I mean, wait, stop! I told you last night no more hugs!" you giggle desperately. You squirm in an attempt to free yourself, but then Fred hugs you from the other side and you lose all hope of escaping.

You sigh in frustration, "You two can be so aggravating," as the twins confine you to the bench.

Just then, the clocktower dongs.

"We gotta go to class!" You make one last effort to slither down past the twins' long, strong arms, but it's pointless. Fred and George then, as if to rub it in further, mush your face between theirs with a kiss on each of your cheeks.

They hold that pose as the other students in the courtyard begin to file back indoors, and you receive skeptical looks as they pass you by. You feel self conscious not because you look stupid, but because there are two guys kissing you at the same time so out in the open.

"Pfeaple are shtaring at ush," you manage to say with your squished mouth. It's only then that Fred and George release you, and you scramble to your feet.

"Your reputation began to diminish the moment you first started talking to us," Fred sighs jokingly. "Why do you still care about what other people think of you?"

"I... I honestly don't know," you chuckle wearily. "But I should really be getting to class."

"You needn't bother going to class if you don't plan on finishing the school year," George says presumptuously as you start to walk away.

You stop and make a half-turn, saying, "For now, I do plan on finishing the school year." And with that, you continue towards Divination.

TAG LIST: @tomhockstetter7-111 @jasm-1ne @costheticbabe @luthien-elvenia-asher @megablonde22 @thecuteavocado @weasleylady92 @websfromallthespiders @rubyintheforest @weasleylover4eva @georgeweasleyslostearhq @im-coolrat @them-cute-boys @xmadigurlx @keirasinbin @huayan @deathtonumber7 @elmolovesw33d @coffeebeans11 @dumb4person

[plasticfreckles]

🌙 the F is for fadesmash solavellan enjoy🌙

Being with her shapes his world, waking and dreaming.

At least, it shapes the few nights he dreams of his own accord, instead of wandering and lingering in the dreams of other's and spirit interpretations of past events alike.

Love and Curiosity visit him there, tugging along their wraith and wisp friends to play out the fiction of his subconscious. A version of the world that can only exist there, because they would not have found each other as they are in a world this perfect. Their flaws and failures shape the real world, but if it were another world, their flaws and failures would never have taken shape.

He never lingers on these thoughts, not in this fantasy of peace and love and companionship.

Recently, he lingers in the same scenario: Skyhold but a fraction of its size, the libraries and his frescos right underneath their rooms, kitchen beneath that, and the west door of the rotunda leads directly into the gardens where Lavellan so loves to spend the sunny days under the stone pergola to sew.

They're wholly and utterly alone in it, save for the distant chickencall.

He starts to notice he can only dream up robes he's seen her wear or watched her sew in the waking world; his sense for arts never did transfer to fabrics. He'd held her hand aloft to close that first rift so long ago and known immediately how to flick his brush to perfectly transfer the hairs of her brows onto that first fresco, but when she'd told him how she would dye samite in blood lotus and make it a short cloak to protect from sudden rainshowers, he could picture little more than stained shreds of cloth over shoulders.

It is summer there, in his imagination, and she wears the small, revealing tunic variations she prefers; high, snug waist held by layered belts, a deep cleavage that runs down between her breasts until Solas realizes she folds the fabric closed underneath the belts, the sides of her hips and legs bared entirely. Between her and the ground, the hurriedly-woven straw sandals that she never lifts her feet in.

He even leaves his frescos in this dream; maybe he's finished them, or maybe he feels content - compelled - to pull out an easel and sketch out the scene of his love wielding her crafts like magic, in the romantic surroundings of their gardens in the late summer.

This time, when she spots him here, in his own dream, she grasps him by his bare arms and pulls him away from the easel, into the sun.

"We could just throw everyone out and move the libraries over here if you want," she jokes, as she lays them down on the grass and makes him rest on her scantily-clothed chest. "Your frescos would still be over there, but you could paint the rest of Skyhold."

"I would hide the entrance to here behind wards and spells and barriers, and we would make the rest of the castle a gallery for our crafts."

"Oh, but then we wouldn't be alone, Solas. Ever."

Solas kisses the side of her breast.

"If it meant you were contented, I don't think I would mind." Much. Not enough for it to matter, in any case.

The world shifts around him, and she sits on top of him. She kisses him so deep she may as well swallow him whole. He holds her to him as tight as his arms let him. He can feel her core, wet and hot over his navel.

"Oh, good. You're already topless." He wasn't, not until she stated so.

He stalls her hands once she rises and he realizes her intentions, notices her eagerly loosening the knot on his leggings, behind her, blindly, with skill that should no longer surprise him so.

Though he supposes it is partially his fault. She is no mage, no dreamer, but she picks up easily on the slightest changes in their shared dreams. Whether it is her inane affinity for the magical or the influence of the mark on her, he neither knows nor really cares.

-

He did slide both hands under the rare lace-up shirt (one of his that he does not enjoy wearing) she wore that night, massaged her breasts and licked her breath out of her mouth while rutting against her until his seed made the hem of the shirt stick to her skin.

Will you stain all my sleepwear until I have none left? She'd asked, breathlessly, grinding up to meet him, amusement in her words rather than accusation. When he opened his eyes and regarded her for a moment, her tangled hair, her flushed face, the shining eyes and swollen lips, the saliva on her chin, she'd turned her face toward the crate by the door to their dressing room, overflowing with clothes she insists to launder herself, and atop it all, her favorite red nightgown, painted with their desire so much a so-inclined maid would be able to deduce every position from the stains. He slid an arm through the neckline of his shirt on her, to grasp her chin and hold her there. It was uncomfortable in his forearm, and his elbow must have poked her somewhere, but they were both too caught up in each other to care. She grabbed his wrist and pulled the hand down, around her throat.

Yours, mine, the sheets, the furs, your skin, he'd huffed into her mouth. If I had my way, you'd never leave this bed. And she'd laughed, at his words, at his commitment to her, at his helpless whine when she clenched herself and her thighs around him.

Oh, I don't know. You seemed to enjoy yourself when we did it over the balcony handrail. He had, and her dedication to flippant conversation, even as she reached around them and lightly squeezed at his balls, made him fall that much harder for her.

-

He shakes off the memory. He could already feel the humidity in the air, see the skies tinge red behind her head, above trees and castle walls. If Desire could smell his excitement, so could Lavellan - she'd evidently felt it behind her -, and if she played his pipe here, there would be no turning back. He would forsake all he came awake to do, let the Veil be torn down around them and spend the rest of eternity fucking her in the Fade. And worst of all, she would let him.

"Vhenan. Not here. Let us not invite Hunger, Greed and Desire into our idyll." She huffs, blows hair out of her face, and nods.

"You're probably right. Though I'm starting to see Iron Bull's stance on the matter. We should be allowed to take each other whenever we like, without risking possession." It makes Solas laugh out loud, despite himself. He gently turns them again, and her thighs settle around his waist as he leans over her, kisses her nose, her cheek, the underside of her chin.

"Return to your body, my love, and know I shall wake you before long, to finish what we started here, away from prying eyes and misguided virtues." If she notices his charm that makes her muscles heavy and eyes droopy, she never tells him.

"Hunger and Greed and Desire have their purposes, you know. You taught me that, not so long ago." Even as she retorts, her eyes remain closed, her thighs slide down past his until her calves are loosely draped over his.

"I did. Everything, this side of the Veil or the other, has a time and place. Just as our desire for one another has a time and a place." He knows he can still hear her, even though her face darkens into the lines of her vallasin and her fingers on his chest start to turn cold. "Would that we could, I would spend every waking moment chasing your high, and every resting moment here with you." Her lips are soft and sweet, even if they don't move to follow his.

He will whisper one more thing to her before moving away from her and waking himself. She is already sleeping by herself again, will not even remember the words, but still, they will make her shower him in praises all the more.

"I will wake you with my fingers inside you so deep you can feel them in your lungs, and then you shall mount me and claim your prize, and never will there have been a more perfect joining than ours, with red streaks of my nails on your hips and kiss bruises on your breasts, and you will never have been more beautiful."

And if he were to look at himself in the mirror after and spots the marks of her oddly pointed corner teeth, he will cast no magic on them.

🌙

not to toot my own horn [beep beep choo choo], but I like my own filth

im so single can u tell lmao

also not really calling parts by their names is a plot device, bc i feel Solas would either talk his way around the words or just go straight up like the most unhinged filthiest slang word you've ever experienced

also i *have* to stop writing all my ficlets in tumblr drafts, the fact that the amount of times I accidentally published half-finished, not grammar corrected brain rot is more than 3 is just straightup embarrassing

[anyon-else]

I Set A Fire to My Soul (I Hope It Ate 'Till It Was Full) (The Red Room pt.9) | You realize after spending two weeks at the compound that existing peacefully actually seems like a plausible way of spending your life. It makes you feel free, a feeling that you're wholly unfamiliar with. It's something you want to get used to. (Marvel AU) – spotify playlist | read on ao3

Pairings | Kakashi Hatake x Black Widow!Reader + Sakura Haruno, Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzumaki, Orochimaru (mentioned), Kabuto Yakushi (mentioned)

Warnings | female!reader, fluff!!! some hurt/comfort, not much this time around (just you wait though)

Word count | 6.4k

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"It was as if someone had handed me the moon, and what does one do with the moon? What does one do with a life when one had expected to be dead?"

Marya Hornbacher, Waiting

At first glance, Kakashi's room was sparse of anything but a few pictures and a small potted plant in the window. It was the opposite of Sakura's room, which was teeming with decor and testaments to things she was interested in before she was taken. Seeing it had been like seeing a version of Sakura that you'd never had the chance to meet. A happier version.

But Kakashi's room gave little away.

You weren't exactly sure what you were seeking from Kakashi, and you almost wished he'd suggest something for you to do. You were standing awkwardly by the door as the man gathered a few books from his bed and set them aside. You eyed the newly-emptied space and wondered if it was too late to back out the door and shut yourself in your room.

But the thought of being alone again made your stomach twist in fear rather than nervousness. This was easy compared to the idea of dreaming of Orochimaru again. You were having trouble coping with the hold that he still had on you in your dreams.

"You can sleep in the bed, if you'd like. I can sleep on the floor, or–"

"No, don't. I'm imposing on you, I shouldn't take your bed too."

You both eyed the rather sizable space on the mattress, and you were sure that Kakashi was turning over the same idea that you were. Sharing a bed didn't seem all that different from sleeping together in the tent, but this wasn't something you were doing out of necessity. This was born out of fear and crippling solitude.

"I...don't want you to do anything you're not comfortable with."

Were you comfortable with Kakashi? It felt like you were, but you couldn't remember when exactly that shift had taken place. On the mission, when you'd accepted that you had to rely on him to watch your back? Or at his house when you spent nights getting a few hours of light sleep on the couch with him.

Admittedly, his bed looked much more comfortable than his couch.

"It's fine," you took a hesitant step towards his bed, glaring at it like it was an obstacle, "I don't mind."

He clearly didn't believe you, but he shrugged, slipped under his covers, and picked his book back up. No expectations or demands, but not a rejection either. It was a new type of kindness that made something in your chest loosen.

You slipped carefully under the covers on the opposite side of the bed, leaving enough room so that you wouldn't shift and touch Kakashi in your sleep.

The mattress sank with your added weight, and you turned on your side to face Kakashi, eyes cracked open. As much as you wanted to avoid looking at him for fear of getting flustered, you still couldn't bring yourself to put your back to someone who wasn't Sakura. This was all so new. Trusting someone enough to keep them out of sight while you slept was one too many obstacles for the night.

But your quick heartbeat wasn't the same as it had been during your panic attack. It wasn't a feeling that threatened to consume you. It was just a reminder that you were in close proximity to Kakashi.

You were starting to accept that there was something about being in his presence that made sleeping through the night peaceful. That something also seemed to make the logical side of your mind shut down.

That night, Kakashi woke up gasping for air.

He knew that being next to you wouldn't give him a one-hundred percent success rate for restful nights, but he'd at least hoped that he wouldn't have to deal with waking from a nightmare in front of you so soon. Maybe after you'd both gotten used to this arrangement (one that he selfishly hoped would last longer than one night).

Obito's face still lingered in front of him, and he shook away the unwanted images of his friends dead, all because he wasn't strong enough to keep them safe.

"You okay?"

He glanced down at you and chuckled at the unfamiliar picture of your eyes barely open and your face pressed against a pillow. He should've figured that you'd be a light sleeper. Next time he'd have to try and control himself after waking up. You hadn't come here just to be burdened by his nightmares.

"Yeah," he sighed, "sorry, I'm alright. Go back to sleep."

He let out a heavy sigh, resting his head in his hands and squeezing his eyes shut. He had to keep it together. At least until you had fully adjusted.

"If you want to talk about it," you said quietly, voice still groggy, "I don't mind."

He laughed, looking down at you with a small smile.

"You don't look happy to be awake right now."

"I can be awake," you shrugged. He started to protest when you shifted, but you waved him off and settled on your side.

"Lay down," you muttered, more of a suggestion than anything else, but he didn't hesitate to do as you asked. "Hold out your hand."

Again, with little hesitation and almost no thought of your motives, he extended his hand until it was midway between you and him. You mirrored the movement, and he froze from shock alone when you hooked your pinkie around his. He wondered if it was just exhaustion that was making you act without thinking, but you seemed a bit more aware now. Maybe you were just becoming comfortable with his presence faster than he'd expected.

"I used to do this with Sakura," you whispered with a fond smile. "She was troublesome. Whenever I messed up and got thrown in a cell overnight, she would always make sure she ended up there with me. There were grates between each cell with just enough space for us to do this. She wanted me to know that I wasn't alone."

Kakashi felt his chest ache at the idea of you and Sakura being imprisoned in the place that was supposed to be your home. The image of Sakura deliberately putting herself there just to do then what you were doing for him now made the gesture feel much more significant. It almost felt sacred.

"It made me feel at ease," you whispered, eyes barely open, "how do you feel now?"

In all honesty, his heart was still racing. But images of bloody bodies and comrades lost weren't haunting him anymore. He gave a hum in response and closed his eyes, focusing on the warm point of contact between you. He felt that warmth spread through the rest of his body and lull him to sleep.

He only slept for a few more hours, but he woke well-rested and found that he had an easier time fending off unwanted memories than the last time he'd jolted awake.

He also felt a strange, unfamiliar weight on his arm.

You hadn't woken yet, but you had moved at some point in the few hours since you'd both fallen asleep. Instead of just holding on to his pinkie, you had grabbed his hand and pulled it towards you, hugging his arm and tucking it into your chest.

He felt his heartbeat pick up again. He sat completely still, afraid that moving would wake you up.

He thought he'd seen what you looked like when you were at peace when you slept during the mission. Even when you spent nights on the couch, you seemed to be sleeping peacefully. Now, you almost looked happy. He swore that he saw a small smile on your face, though that could've just been his mind playing tricks on him.

He thought back to when Sakura was younger and small enough that he could lift her on his shoulders. At that age, she liked the feeling of being surrounded in a hug. He always wondered if it was the reassurance that nothing could get to her that was appealing.

Kakashi had spent his fair share of nights trying to chase away nightmares of her parents' deaths by hugging her close and keeping her tucked under his chin. He couldn't imagine that her nightmares improved while she was in the Red Room. It was likely that you had taken over for him and spent nights keeping Sakura close to try and unburden her of her fears.

Maybe you'd gotten used to having something to hold. Maybe being deprived of that now was taking more of a toll on you than you realized.

He did his best to keep still, but a few moments later, your grip on his arm and hand tightened enough that he knew you'd woken up. He glanced up and met your eyes, though you looked more confused than anything else.

"Mm..." you sucked in a breath, looking down at where you were holding Kakashi's hand. Realization dawned on you at the same moment that you threw it back at him, your confusion morphing into horror, "I'm so sorry. I didn't even realize–"

"It's alright."

"I didn't mean to...make you uncomfortable or anything."

"You didn't."

"Oh," you huffed, turning on your back and staring up at the ceiling, "okay. Good."

He wanted to ask if you remembered waking up last night, either to give you some peace of mind that he'd been perfectly comfortable with you touching him or to determine whether or not it was drowsiness that made you so open to comforting him. But you looked embarrassed enough as it was, so he kept his mouth shut.

"Thank you for letting me stay here," you said quietly, "I appreciate it."

"Anytime."

You nodded, giving him a small, half-hearted smile before you were on your feet and heading towards the door. He sat up and watched you go, searching for the right words.

"I mean it," he rushed out before you could rush out. You glanced back, expression unreadable, "really. You can sleep here anytime you want."

It shouldn't have been this hard to talk to someone, but he felt himself second-guessing all of his words just to make sure they were the right ones. He wanted to figure out how to talk to you in a way that made you feel at peace.

"Okay," you nodded, "thank you."

He didn't expect you to accept his offer, but that night, you were in front of his door once again.

Two weeks later

Sakura woke up far earlier than she would've liked with stiff limbs and excess energy to burn off. Her room had enough space that she could stretch out on the floor and try to loosen up, but she still felt an ache in her legs that she knew was a result of cutting off her training so abruptly after her escape. She had gotten used to an intense daily routine in the Red Room, and while it wasn't the most pleasant form of training, she almost missed starting her mornings with activity.

It had been nearly two months since she was given permission by her doctors to spar. And while she didn't want to bother you to train with her, Naruto and Sasuke wouldn't be as much fun. They didn't know the tricks and techniques that she'd learned in the four years that she'd been gone, and they'd have to take time to get used to her new fighting style. That morning, she found herself itching for a challenge.

Your room was only one door down from hers, and she hadn't pondered much on the habitual silence coming from it day after day since you'd returned. She knew that you were light on your feet, but around her you weren't as careful. You'd never felt the need to hide your presence from her. She helped you get used to the idea that you were allowed to take up space. That you didn't need to conceal your presence like a ghost everywhere you went.

When she opened the door and peaked into your room, she was only slightly concerned to find it empty. In fact, it looked untouched. She didn't even see your small bag of clothes next to the bed where you usually kept it.

Were you out? No, you wouldn't have left without telling her. Maybe you were already in the gym? Did you go for a run? Were you making breakfast? It was five in the morning, no one was up yet and the compound was silent. She could hear her own footsteps echoing in the hallway; she would've heard you if you were wandering around.

She didn't start worrying until she had stopped in all of the main rooms of the compound and found them vacant.

It wasn't like you to disappear without a word. You knew how worried she'd get if you left without telling her, so she was confident that if you had left of your own volition, she would've been the first to know. That left one option: you had been taken. Maybe HYDRA had taken you, or SHIELD had found out that you were staying here.

In her panic, she realized that she needed to tell Kakashi-sensei that you had disappeared. While there were quite a few plausible explanations for your absence, all of them seemed less likely than the worst-case scenarios. Sakura wasn't used to not knowing where you were, and it was making her panic grow by the second.

She sprinted down the hall, mind racing through possible explanations faster than she could keep up with them, and her panic had grown enough by the time she reached Kakashi's room that she disregarded any need for privacy.

"Kakashi-sensei," she gasped as she opened his door, swinging it against the wall with a bang, "I can't find..."

Oh.

"Uh..."

What? What?

You were...in Kakashi-sensei's room. You were in Kakashi-sensei's bed. Kakashi-sensei was in the shower and the door was shut, and you were sitting under his covers like you had slept there. Had you slept there? What was going on?

Sakura felt like she had fallen into an alternate universe.

You were staring at Sakura like she was a ghost. In fact, she wasn't sure she had ever seen that expression on your face before. She had seen worry and fear, but never this mix of shock and embarrassment. She wished she had a camera.

"What are you doing here?" you said through grit teeth after a long silence. You glanced between Sakura standing shocked in the hallway and the closed bathroom door where the shower was still running.

"What am I doing here?" Sakura let out a disbelieving laugh, "what are you doing here? Does Kakashi-sensei know that you're in his room?"

"Wha-of course he does! It's not what you think, nothing is going on, but you need to leave! You can't just walk into people's rooms!" you said. You looked like you were aging years in the seconds that Sakura was standing in the doorway. You glanced back with a groan when the shower cut off, "Go, go, we'll talk later."

You stood from the bed and practically tackled her through the door. She stumbled back with a disbelieving laugh, a mix of shock and glee on her face.

"We will talk about this later," you repeated calmly, though you still looked mortified, "Just...go back to sleep or something. Do not tell the others."

The door slammed before she could say anything else, and it took her about a minute to move from in front of it. Her paralysis lasted until she heard you shuffle back to bed, and it reminded her that you weren't only sleeping in Kakashi-sensei's room, you were sleeping in his bed. She still hadn't quite recovered from the shock, and processing what she had just seen seemed like a monumental task. How had she not noticed?

Sakura nearly sprinted away from the room, rushing down the hall and opening Naruto's door in the same abrupt fashion as she had Kakashi-sensei's.

"Naruto," Sakura whispered, hoping that you hadn't hear her scampering away from Kakashi-sensei's room, "Naruto! Wake up!"

"Huh...wha-? Sakura, wha's goin' on?"

Naruto's face was pressed into his pillow, and he looked like he had no intention of getting up despite Sakura's urgent tone.

"Naruto, come on," she grinned, shaking the boy, "Y/N is in Kakashi-sensei's room."

Naruto shot up at her words, fully awake and staring at her with wide eyes. She nodded when he gave her a disbelieving laugh, grin growing wider.

"No way," he laughed again, and Sakura slapped a hand over his mouth when he opened it again.

"She'll hear you, dummy! We have to be quiet!"

Naruto looked at her wide-eyed, nodding against her hand and waiting patiently for her to deem him ready to be released.

Sasuke's room was a bit more intimidating than Naruto's, and Sakura found herself calming enough to knock quietly at his door. He opened it a moment later, rubbing his eyes and glaring at Sakura and Naruto tiredly.

"It's five in the morning," he grumbled, then perked up, "is something wrong?"

"No," Sakura shook her head at the same time that Naruto gleefully said, "yes!"

Sasuke looked unimpressed.

"Y/N is in Kakashi-sensei's room!"

While Kakashi-sensei had trained his charges extensively in stealth, they seemed to forget all of their lessons as they stumbled down the hall to his room. Naruto couldn't stop giggling as he raced down the hall, and Sasuke looked more shocked that Sakura had ever seen him.

This was new and very exciting territory. Kakashi-sensei had never had a...

A what? A girlfriend? The idea of you being someone's girlfriend felt wrong to Sakura; it was so...normal.

"What do we do?" Naruto whispered, backing away from Kakashi's door like it was a wild animal.

"There's no way this is happening," Sasuke whispered, head in his hands and voice very distressed, "what is going on?"

"This is weird, right?" Naruto whispered nervously, "I mean, we're just...sitting outside of his room."

"We need answers!" Sakura grinned. "This has never happened before. I mean, Kakashi-sensei? No one ever sleeps in his room with him!"

When had this happened? She was wracking her brain to create a timeline of events, but she was coming up empty. Maybe something had changed on the mission.

That would be so romantic.

Footsteps sounded on the other side of the door, and she heard you mumbling something to Kakashi as you approached.

"Hide!" Sakura whispered, though not as quietly as she would've liked. All three of them stumbled to their feet, and Sakura groaned at their luck when Naruto tripped over Sasuke and took both of them down. She grabbed them by the back of their shirts and tried dragging them to their feet and out of sight, but the door clicked open before she could begin moving them at all.

"Jesus," you gasped, backing away from the three with a hand over your chest. Sakura supposed they probably looked like a comedy skit, all tangled up on the floor and looking at you like deer in headlights.

"What?" Kakashi said from out of sight. When he appeared, Sakura almost laughed.

He was wearing a fluffy grey robe that was tied tightly around his waist. His hair was dripping from the shower, and he was maskless.

"No way," Sasuke muttered again, followed by a delighted laugh from Naruto.

There was a long moment when the five of you just stared at one another. Then Kakashi nudged you out of the way, grabbed the door, and slammed it shut.

"What are you doing?" you hissed at him. He was red to the tops of his ears, and he was looking just about anywhere to avoid meeting your eyes. "Now they'll be even more suspicious!"

"I was caught off guard!" he whispered back, voice low enough that the kids would only be able to hear if they were pressed against door. The thought had you glancing at the shadows under the crack of the wood. You narrowed your eyes and kicked it.

"Ow," Naruto shouted, followed by two identical shushes from Sasuke and Sakura. You scowled.

"I'm never going to have a day of peace again," Kakashi grumbled, "they'll never let me live this down."

"Maybe because you slammed the door in their faces. You look like a teenager who was caught by their parents."

"I've never had to deal with this before!" he threw his hands in the air, "even if it's just for nightmares, they'll be insufferable. All of the questions..."

His face fell into lethargic horror at the thought.

"Don't be dramatic," you huffed. You opened the door in one swing and glared down at the three brats falling at your feet. Sakura met your glare with an innocent smile.

"Good morning," she smiled. You glared harder, "it's lovely out today. Wanna go on a walk?"

"No," you grumbled, "I want peace."

"We want answer-mmhp," Naruto shouted over Sakura shoulder, cut off by her hand blindly slapping backwards and landing over his mouth. She held it there and gave you another innocent smile.

"Listen, all three of you. I will say this one time and one time only."

The kids all froze, and you even noticed Kakashi stop in his tracks to look at you.

"I have nightmares, and being next to someone at night helps. That's all."

"Aw man," Naruto grumbled, turning towards Sasuke, "we thought Kakashi-sensei had a girlfriend."

"Hey," Kakashi stuck his head through the door, now fully dressed and slightly less red than before, "all of you go run three miles."

"Wha–, sensei," Sakura groaned, "what were we supposed to think? You were practically naked–"

"Four miles."

"But���"

"Five."

"Fine, fine, geez."

Naruto and Sakura sulked towards the gym, but Sasuke paused and gave you a long glance. It didn't hold any of his previous coldness; now it was just curiosity that lingered in his gaze. Once he was apparently satisfied with his observation, he glanced at Kakashi and tilted his head, then turned and followed Sakura and Naruto down the hall.

"Good morning," you muttered to a wide-eyed Kakashi. He looked like he had gone into overdrive, and you imagined he was picturing the horrors that would come that day as a result of this incident. Five miles wouldn't do much good to deter them from being insufferable.

"Right," Kakashi sighed, "great morning. Once I leave this room, I'll live the rest of my life being tortured."

"Oh, please," you waved his concerns away, "how bad could they be?"

"You clearly haven't spent enough time with all three of them together," Kakashi mumbled, "they feed off of one another. They're evil."

"Dramatic," you repeated, glaring pointedly at the mask that he was pulling over his nose. He shrugged.

When you left Kakashi's room, it didn't take long for you to run into Naruto. He was standing in the doorway that led into the gym, watching Sakura and Sasuke spar disinterestedly. When he saw you next to him, he perked up. It was the first time you'd ever gotten such an enthused reaction from the boy.

"Hey," he looked behind you, presumably for Kakashi, "can I, uh...talk to you?"

Interesting, but not as weird as it would have been if he hadn't just discovered you sleeping in his guardian's room. You leaned against the opposite side of the doorframe and tried to look as open and safe as possible.

"I thought you were supposed to be running?" you asked.

"Nah, Kakashi-sensei's never serious about that stuff," Naruto laughed, and you couldn't help a small smile. Kakashi really was like a father to them, and you desperately hoped Naruto didn't see you and this newfound closeness as a threat to him.

"I just wanted to...ask what your intentions are, I guess? With Kakashi-sensei."

You almost laughed at the question, but Naruto looked dead serious. You glanced at Sakura and Sasuke and saw that they hadn't stopped sparring to look at you and Naruto. So this conversation was likely happening independent of their input.

"I don't have any intentions," you said simply, "what I told you is all there is. It's a mutually beneficial arrangement, that's all."

Naruto didn't look convinced, but he moved on quickly.

"We didn't exactly meet on great terms, but I know from what Sakura's told me and from what I've seen that you're a good person. It's just that...Kakashi-sensei doesn't have that many people that he relies on. He has friends, sure, but they're more like...coworkers. He goes on missions with them, so he always feels like he has a responsibility to keep them safe. He doesn't really let his guard down much. I don't know why, but he doesn't act that way with you."

You weren't sure how you felt about being told that you were unique in someone's eyes. For most of your life, you were simply a cog in a machine. There was nothing about you that differed from your fellow Widows. You were basically a copy of the girls who came before.

"He lets his guard down around you. And he does that with us too, but he's our guardian. I think your presence is like...a reassurance that he can unwind without worrying that someone will get hurt. He's always looking out for us, never letting himself rest, so maybe you can take some of that weight off of him. Keep him from taking on too much."

"I think you're overestimating how much he trusts me."

"No," Naruto smiled, and you tried to reconcile the boy standing in front of you giving you rather wise advice with the one who had come poking around your cell when you first met, "he does. I think it makes him nervous how much he does."

"How can you tell?"

"Dunno," Naruto shrugged, "but we spend every day with him. We notice when things have changed. And all three of us have noticed it. He's more relaxed."

Did he seem more relaxed? You supposed that you hadn't known him before, so you didn't have anything to compare it to, but it was hard to imagine Kakashi being even more vigilant than he already was. You wondered just how much stress he was under on a day-to-day basis.

"Please don't leave," Naruto muttered. Your eyes widened, and you had to stop yourself from letting out a shocked laugh, "if you do, it won't just hurt Sakura. It'll hurt him too. I don't think he even realizes that, but it will. And none of us want to see that happen."

"I don't think–"

"It's true."

"Shit–" you jumped away from Sasuke, who had somehow managed to stand behind you and listen in on the conversation without you noticing, "again? Seriously, this shouldn't keep happening. I'm supposed to be a spy."

"Maybe you're distracted because you're talking about Kakashi-sensei," Sakura said with a sly smile. You narrowed your eyes at her.

"Why would I be distracted?"

"Oh, no reason," she shrugged, taking Naruto and Sasuke by the arms and dragging them back to the middle of the gym, "no reason at all."

Distracted. You weren't easily distracted, and Kakashi was low on the list of people who could throw you off balance. Orochimaru and Kabuto were distracting. Kakashi was just Kakashi. He didn't stop you from breathing. He sometimes made it easier.

That wasn't distraction.

You pushed Sakura's irritatingly cryptic words aside and joined Sasuke next to the mats, watching Naruto have a significant amount of trouble taking Sakura down. Both were laughing, and even Sasuke had a fond smile on his face as he studied the match. You noticed that he was paying more attention to Sakura than Naruto, eyes focused on her footwork as she side-stepped her opponent's attack and knocked him to the ground.

"How come," Naruto panted, stretching out the shoulder that he'd landed on when he fell, "I can't keep up with you anymore? It's not fair."

"How do you think I feel? I miss having sparring partners who can actually put up a fight"

"Hey!"

"Kidding, kidding," Sakura laughed, turning away from a sputtering Naruto. "Oh. good morning, Kakashi-sensei. Sleep well?"

"I slept fine, thank you for asking, Sakura," Kakashi spoke smoothly, no trace of his previous embarrassment in his voice, "and you?"

"Oh, it was a bit lonely," she shrugged, "but I suppose you wouldn't understand that problem."

Sasuke snickered, then became conveniently enraptured by the opposite wall when you glared at him.

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei could take you down!" Naruto told Sakura, pointing at the man excitedly.

"Of course he could," Sakura scoffed, "I didn't train that hard."

She glanced at you, and in some sudden revelation, her eyes widened and she jumped off of the mats. You let her hurriedly push you onto them in her place with just a bit of resistance and a dead expression on your face.

"Spar Kakashi-sensei!"

You gave her a flat look, wholly uninterested in sparring at the moment. You needed breakfast. You were also in the middle of a good part of Icha-Icha, but you'd been too tired last night to keep reading. You'd been looking forward to returning to it all morning.

"I'm tired."

"No, you're not. You slept great."

"You're such a little shit," you grumbled, glaring at her, then at Naruto and Sasuke with equal amounts of contempt, "all of you."

Naruto was grinning and trying to pull an equally as inconvenienced-looking Kakashi onto the mats with you.

"Don't you three want food? I know none of you can cook."

"Cook after!"

"Maybe I won't want to after."

"We'll go out."

All three were watching you and Kakashi eagerly. Sakura looked conflicted, like she was trying to decide who she should place her bets on.

"Did you three finish your five miles?"

"Of course we did!"

"Pretty quick for a couple of short stacks."

"Hey!"

You snickered, ignoring Sakura's glare.

"Fine," Kakashi said, meeting your unimpressed stare with a smile, "but I expect you to observe carefully. You'll be seeing two different fighting styles, so pay close attention to the strengths and weaknesses of both."

"Kakashi-sensei," Naruto groaned, "why does everything have to be training?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Naruto," Kakashi turned his smile from you to the sulking boy, "would you prefer to write me an essay on this instead?"

"No! Not at all, I'll watch very diligently."

"Good," Kakashi nodded, then turned to you, "well, this feels familiar."

"Right," you scoffed, "because last time was just so much fun."

Sakura was looking between you and Kakashi with wide eyes, and you didn't want to imagine what kinds of assumptions she was making about your comment. You ignored her questioning gaze and steadied yourself in front of your opponent, hands raised in a defensive position.

Kakashi still had his hands in his pockets, and in the split second that you wondered if you should attack first, he was gone.

He's quick, you thought with a scowl, though not quick enough that you couldn't detect his presence behind you. You stepped forward just as his leg attempted to kick yours from under you, and you barely missed getting thrown to the ground as you spun towards him.

You heard a mix of shouts from the kids, and most of them were encouragements for Kakashi as you continuously sidestepped his attacks.

But he was the only one attacking. You were just trying to keep up.

He had you cornered, and you let out a frustrated grunt when you felt your foot hit the edge of the mat. Kakashi barely paused, so you settled on a rather crude attack and leapt at him, grabbing him around the waist and pulling him to the ground.

He landed on his back with a surprised grunt, though it didn't take him long to recover. This time, though, you had the upper hand on him. Your attacks were swifter, but they had less power behind them. One technique that was encouraged in the Red Room was to tire an opponent out with fast attacks until they couldn't counter one with increased strength. It was especially useful for stronger opponents like Kakashi, who used more raw strength in his offense.

The match continued for far longer than you would've liked. You'd thought that you'd have an easier time beating him, but you wondered if he would actually manage to take you down. You were on fairly even footing in terms of skill, you'd known that from the beginning, but you knew enough tricks that you thought you'd have the edge on him.

It seemed you'd underestimated his strategies. It must've been a lingering feeling of superiority over SHIELD that rubbed off on you from Orochimaru.

You were even more surprised when, in your momentary distraction, Kakashi reused his move from the beginning of the fight and swept your legs out from under you. You landed with an oof on the mat, head knocking against it and arm aching where your gunshot wound had almost finished healing. You probably shouldn't have been sparring, but curiosity about Kakashi's skill in close combat took precedent over concern for your still-healing injuries.

"If I hadn't gotten shot," you panted, looking up at Kakashi's pleased expression, "I would've won."

"Of course you would've," he said jovially, mood apparently lifted by his victory. He held out a hand, and you took it begrudgingly, allowing him to haul you to your feet.

You narrowed your eyes at the hushed voices behind you and glanced back at Sakura, who was whispering something in Naruto's ear that made him grin and giggle.

"Did you learn anything useful?" you ruffled her hair, pushing her head to the side playfully and sidestepping her when she tried to shove you.

"Oh, sure," she laughed, "lots of things."

Naruto laughed again, and even Sasuke cracked a small smile.

"You guys are weird," you huffed, stretching your arms above your head and following Kakashi out of the gym.

Later that night, after you'd successfully finished your Icha-Icha volume and ranted about it extensively to an amused Kakashi, you were pulled into Sakura's room hastily and rather aggressively on your way back to the gym. You stumbled inside on ungraceful feet, tripping over them as you tried to catch yourself. Sakura offered no help; she glanced out into the hall once you were inside, then closed the door quietly behind her.

"You know, you could've just asked if you wanted me in here."

She shrugged, then leapt into her bed and patted the spot next to her in invitation.

"Can I ask you something?" she said once you had settled in on the empty side. You hummed your assent, sitting up and giving her your full attention when you saw how serious her expression looked.

"Are you...happy here?"

The hope in her eyes was so clear that you had to look away. She wanted you to say yes more than anything, but it wasn't that simple. happiness was never that simple, especially when you had never really thought about your own happiness at any point in your life. It had never been enough of a priority.

Now that you thought about it, you weren't even sure what it meant to be happy. How were you supposed to tell? How could you even give her a truthful answer without knowing it for yourself?

"I...don't know," you told her honestly. Her hopeful expression didn't fade, and she nodded like she had been expecting that answer. "I'm comfortable. I feel safe here."

She smiled, and you couldn't help but mirror it. You hadn't realized how much you missed spending time with Sakura; it had been a while since you'd been able to sit down and talk like this, just the two of you. You realized somberly that it was the first time you'd been able to do it outside of the Red Room.

"You're smiling a lot more," she told you happily. You looked at her, brows furrowed. Had you smiled more? You didn't feel all that different, but you supposed that the person you'd been when you escaped with her was a far cry from who you were becoming. It hadn't even been long, and she already saw that much change?

But now that you thought about it, you saw the change too. Your nightmares were becoming more infrequent, and you no longer felt the constant pull of the Red Room and of Orochimaru's promises. They appeared to you as a distant memory; a thing of the past.

You tried to remember when you'd stopped assuming that you would eventually go back. When you'd accepted that you were no longer a Widow.

You wondered when you had become okay with that fact.

"I'm so happy," Sakura laughed, silent tears rolling down her cheeks, "none of it even feels real."

"What do you mean?"

"This," she motioned towards you vaguely, then towards the door where you could hear Naruto and Sasuke talking to Kakashi from the lounge, "you being here. Everyone being safe. For the first time in almost five years, I'm surrounded by people I care about. And you're smiling so much, I just..."

Her words were becoming more strained, like she was trying to keep herself from bursting into tears. You reached towards her on instinct, and she was quick to lean into you and wrap her arms around your waist. She was crying quietly into your chest, gripping your shirt and muffling the sounds of her cries in the fabric. You buried a hand in her hair and tucked her head under your chin in a familiar set of movements.

"I'm so happy," she cried quietly, pulling you closer and sniffling. You rubbed her back, unsure of how to respond. You felt something swell in your chest; this was the first time that Sakura had cried in your arms because of something good happening. The last time she'd done it, it was because you were leaving. You had been reassigned after your mission together, and her terrified cries often haunted your nightmares.

"I...I think I'm happy," you whispered. She paused; it almost felt like her breathing had stopped. "and I want to stay. I am staying. If...if you and the others will have me."

"Of course," she laughed, though it sounded more like a sob as she tackled you to the bed. You chuckled, wrapping your arms around her and relishing in the lightness in your chest. It was such a new feeling. It was freeing. Maybe that was what happiness felt like.

If it was, it was something that you wanted to get used to.

(previous chapter) | (next chapter) | (series masterlist)

Author's note | ahhhh i'm so excited about this chapter. i've had it started for a while so i'm glad to finally get it published. also, i have this series planned to the end, but i'm absolutely love writing it, so would anyone be interested in a sequel series (that i've already begun planning)?

anyways, as always, let me know what you think and leave me some love if you enjoyed!

title is from "Trust" by Lucy Dacus

[littleskeletonprincessss]

I love you - Ryan Magee x Reader

A/N I'm sorry i'm so bad at endings.

He laid there, staring at the ceiling fan.

Normally, the rhythmic spinning would calm his mind enough that he would be able to fall asleep. But tonight, his mind wasn't running 75 miles a minute with millions of little video and skit ideas that'd he'd need to remember to bring up to Matt tomorrow. No, tonight, his mind could only focus on one thing.

Her.

He glanced to his left at the empty space next to him.

She'd got to work two mornings ago, after they'd both gone to bed angry after a fight, and by the end of the first day he'd received a single text.

'Staying w/friend 4 a while.'

She wasn't one to use abbreviations when texting so he knew she was still upset and purposely keeping it short.

There hadn't been any contact since.

He turned his head back to the fan with a heavy sigh. They'd been fighting a lot lately. When they first started dating, arguments - if you could even call them that - would end in laughter and the occasional make out after realizing how stupid they were being. Now, fights would start at the drop of a passive comment about the other not starting the dishwasher, or putting the laundry on to dry. And the more often they fought, the more serious things they'd suppressed feelings about would come to a head. He'd shown up late to dinner one too many times. She didn't show enough support for his career. Eventually it felt like the only thing they really had left was sex, but neither of them wanted to address it.

That wasn't true for him though. He loved her with all his heart and he knew a long time ago that there wouldn't be another girl for him, she was the one he wanted to spend forever with.

He pressed his palms into his eyes once he realized he had started to cry. He couldn't lose her, or if he did, not without trying.

Grabbing his phone off his nightstand he pulled up her contact. The picture of her smiling face looked back at him, the same smile that made all his bad days better. He saw his lips pressed against her cheek, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist from behind as she took the picture. It was taken on their last anniversary, when he'd taken her on her dream trip to Italy. Back when he was a better boyfriend.

It hurt to swallow as his thumb hovered over the message icon. What if she didn't want to talk to him? What if he'd been blocked? Letting out a breath he didn't realize he was holding he started a new message.

'Can we talk?'

Send. He put the phone down and turned on his side facing her half of the bed, hugging her pillow tight to his chest where she should have been, and closed his eyes, inhaling the fading scent of her, trying to calm himself down.

The phone vibrated quietly against the blankets but it may as well have been a gunshot in his ears. Heart pounding and hands shaking, he looked at the screen.

'Coffee?'

--------------

Ryan stood in front of the bathroom mirror after already spending too long picking an outfit for today.

It was 11:30 and they had made plans to meet at their favorite coffee spot at noon.

He pulled his hair back in a tight bun, the way she liked, and looked at his reflection. He spent a little more time this morning, making sure he looked the best he could. She always told him that she didn't care what he looked like, that she loved him for who he was, but she deserved someone who looked as good as she always did.

Zipping up his jacket, he walked out of the bathroom into his room to grab his phone. Lego laid on her side of the bed, whining.

"I know buddy," Ryan said, sitting next to him and scratching him behind the ears. "I miss her too."

A small PING pulled Ryan's attention away from the dog.

'I'm here. I'll order.'

Ryan stood and walked out the door, grabbing his keys from their place on the hook that she'd insisted on buying, locking it behind him and heading downstairs.

---

Pulling open the heavy cafe door, Ryan stepped inside, thinking back to the memories they'd shared here.

Their first date, he'd made dinner reservations at an outdoor restaurant without checking the weather forecast and they'd ended up wet and freezing. The cafe across the street was quiet when they ran in, the bell over the door ringing to signal their arrival. Picking a corner table next to a big window, fireplace not far away, they sat and talked to get to know each other. The fire drying their clothes, and their drinks warming their insides - black coffee for him and apple cider for her - they stayed until closing, neither wanting the night to end.

The time he asked her to officially be his. He smiled as he remember how she'd laughed, saying she already thought she was.

The first time they said 'I love you'. It wasn't even a date, exactly. They were just hanging out and when she caught him staring, she asked what was wrong. Without thinking, he'd blurted the words, eyes going wide as dinner plates when he realized. She flashed him that perfect smile again and said she loved him too.

So many good memories, he prayed that today wouldn't end in a bad one that would erase them all.

Glancing around, he found her sitting at their table in the corner, warm by the fireplace. She looks perfect he though, taking her in. Her hair was pulled into a loose ponytail, and her face looked so perfect that he wouldn't think she was real had he not known her. She was wearing one of his hoodies and a pair of leggings, his favorite outfit on her, though he'd never told her that.

He stepped toward the table, slowly, not wanting to disturb the peaceful atmosphere she gave off.

"Hey."

Her head turned to glance at him and her eyes nearly took his breath away, the way they always did.

"Ryan, hey."

She stood up and after a moment they hugged each other awkwardly, not nearly as long or as tight as he needed.

"I um, I got you a coffee. I hope that's okay." She said, sitting back down and motioning towards the steaming mug.

"Yeah, that's great. Thank you." he said, sitting across from her. "You uh, you look good - beautiful."

"Thank you." She blushed. "You don't look bad yourself."

He half smiled. He was glad they were talking, but he also knew it wasn't their normal.

They sat in an awkward silence for a moment.

"Ryan I--"

"I miss you." He interrupeted, without meaning to. "So much. I'm sorry we've been fighting so much lately." He grabbed her hand. He knew it was sudden, he didn't care, he just needed her to know.

"Ryan, I miss you too." She whispered.

"I hope you know that I don't mean to miss dates, or show up late to dinner. Nothing is more important to me than you and I promise I'm going to try harder to be there on time and I love you so much and--"

"Ry. Ryan, calm down." She placed her soft hand on his cheek, tucking a loose piece of hair behind his ear as she stopped his rambling. "I love you too, Ryan."

Those words alone lifted a weight off his chest, and he was finally able to breathe again.

"I'm sorry that I haven't been as supportive as I could be when it comes to your career. I really am proud of you, and Matt too, for working so hard to be successful with your channel and your podcast."

Ryan smiled, then wiped his eye, stopping it from tearing up.

"Come back home. Please." he begged, intertwining their fingers.

"I don't know, Ryan. I miss you, and I miss Lego for sure. But are you sure it's a good idea? What if we just go back to fighting all the time? I know we both want to be better but we get busy and it gets harder. What if we decide that we don't want to deal with it all anymore and we just...end?" She was the one rambling now, and the more she spoke the faster she went, tears misting her eyes.

"Hey, hey. Calm down." Ryan stood up to sit next to her. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his chest, pressing a kiss to her temple.

She buried her head in his chest, wrapping her arms around his neck, like she was scared to let go.

"Listen to me. I am never going to want to end anything with you. I love you too fuckin' much to do that. If you don't want to come back to the apartment right now, that's fine. I'll understand. But please, come back to me? I can't stand not seeing you or talking to you everyday. You're my best friend and these last couple days have been complete hell without you." Pulling back he kissed her forehead and wiped tears from her cheeks.

"Maybe...maybe we can go back to the apartment and watch a movie or something?" She sniffled, wiping her eyes with a napkin.

"I'd love that." Ryan smiled kissing her forehead again.

----------------------------------

The walk back to Ryan's apartment was a complete 180 from the heavy feeling at the cafe. They spent the trip laugh and joking around, the rockiness in their relationship never coming up.

The only stop they made was a pizza place around the corner for dinner before finally reaching his front door where Lego barreled down the hall, jumping on her and assaulting her with kisses.

"Okay, Okay Lego! I missed you too buddy! Who's a good puppy?" She laughed, bending down to hug him. It was one of Ryan's favorite sights to see her with Lego, loving him as much as Ryan did.

"Alright buddy, come on." Ryan set the pizzas on the counter, leading Lego over to his bed and giving him a treat before bringing the pizza's into the living room and setting them on the coffee table.

Handing her the remote, Ryan took a slice of pizza, sitting back against the cushions and throwing his arm across the back. She scrolled through until settling on a movie, leaving grabbing her own slice and leaning back.

Ryan wasn't sure if she was aware of it, or if it was his own mind playing tricks on him, but she seemed to scoot ever so slightly closer to his side. Smiling to himself, he grabbed another slice and turned his attention to the screen.

----------

A few movies later she grabbed one of his controllers, switching to Mario Kart.

"Want to play?" she offered, handing him the other controller. "I'll let you win."

"Fuck you, you will. I'll let you win if anything. Ryan responded, taking the controller and entering the game.

-----------

A few hours later they looked at the time.

"Wow, I've been here for while. Sorry, I didn't mean to stay this long." she yawned, stretching her back.

"No, don't worry about it."

"I should probably go." she sighs, standing up and starting to gather her things.

"Oh. Yeah, okay." He stands, following her to the door.

"Thanks, Ryan. Today was great."

"Yeah, it was." he says, biting the inside of his cheek as she puts her hand on the doorknob.

"I'll see you." she says, opening the door.

"You don't have to leave." Ryan blurts.

"Ryan?"

"I mean, if you want to, I won't stop you. I told you that you didn't have to come home yet, and I'll stick to that. But you don't have to leave, if you don't want to. I mean-" He rubs his mouth, stopping himself from rambling again.

"Actually...I'd love to stay, if you're okay with it." She grins, shutting the door.

Walking to the bedroom, she opens his closet grabbing a tank top to change in to and lies on her side of the bed while Ryan pulls off his gym shorts, sliding next to her and wrapping his arm around her waist out of habit.

"Ry?"

"Oh, fuck. Sorry." he apologizes, pulling his arm back.

"No, Ry-" she turns over to face him. "I love you." she states, meeting his lips with her own for a short but meaningful kiss.

Turning back, Ryan responded with his own 'I love you', replacing his arm and burying his face into the back of her neck, nuzzling her as they both nodded off to sleep.

------------------

Ryan woke a few hours later, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the dark.

Had it all been a dream?

He looked to his side and found her slightly curled up, snoring softly.

He smiles, leaning down to kiss her shoulder, seeing her tattoo and thinking back to when she'd first showed him.

-------------

She walked in to the apartment one day standing in front of him and simply saying "I have a surprise for you."

Ryan was surprised- it wasn't his birthday or their anniversary - and his curiosity only grew as she started pulling off her shirt.

"What are you-" he smirked, turning off the TV.

"Shut the hell up. Just look." She said, sitting on the couch and turning her back to him.

Noticing the bandage on her shoulder he was only slightly worried as he pulled up the corner to see what it was hiding.

---------------

It was his name. Just 'Ryan' with a dainty heart at the end.

He looked at it now and knew that they wouldn't end. He loved her an almost impossible amount and, for some reason, she felt the same way. They'd have their struggles, but that made it worth fighting for, in the end.

Kissing her tattoo gently, he whispered in her ear, telling her once again, even in her sleep.

"I love you, so much."

[shamelesssunshine]

About a girl

Showki fanfic

Everything here is fiction and nothing represents the real person they're named after.

All pictures taken from random pinterest pins

Enjoy

TW. Alcohol and drugs

Ch.1. The girl

No lights, only moonlight.

Hyunwoo’s truck arrived at the same spot where the same loud, chaotic music was embracing the same careless people.

There was a mess all over the place: discarded empty plastic cups under messy bushes, snack’s empty bags that looked like they belonged to the previous century decorated every rock, big or small, and a few small, almost unnoticeable rubbers signaled someone had gotten lucky tonight… and if said luck was the good type there wouldn’t be any surprise in the following weeks.

Hyunwoo walked straight to the “big fire” as broke, drunk and stupid college students called the old trash can where the fire had been lit every Friday night to Sunday since everyone in that party could remember, it was usually fed with failed tests, old love letters and moldy leftovers, with the occasional pitch of weed to spice up the ambient.

You late. I thought you wouldn't come. - 

Hoseok, the hottest guy in the town, if you asked about the last stall in the guy’s bathroom where his name was just under Roseanne Park, nobody knew who did it, but it was a truth that couldn’t be denied. Therefore, nobody took it off either, offered Hyunwoo a cheap unopened beer and a cig.

Now my parents know I’m good at law stuff, but it’s hard to get rid of them. They expect me to be successful now. -

They both laughed; Hyunwoo’s parents owned a nice BBQ restaurant in the rich part of the town. It was nothing too glamorous, but it was still rich enough to keep him as a law major without asking him to work. That was kind of super well-off in a small town with only two supermarkets and a raggedy theatre.

Poor guy, can afford dreams, hopes and expectations. -

Hoseok was more of a regular person in the town; he was extremely handsome, but that was about it for his luck, no money, four siblings, not especially good at school and working part-time at one of the supermarkets to pay for his college. However, he’s been thinking about dropping off more than once now that his siblings are growing and showing skills at things. He may dream of being a model, but he could actually step down and provide real chances to others.

Let’s run away to Seul; you’d be a model, and I’ll be a family shame -

Both had been friends since they could remember, even though they were in pretty different life conditions. The town was small enough for people to cross their way into each other. They grew up together and went through thick and thin already; they’ve shared everything they could along the way: toys, emotions, resources and even girls.

Both were popular enough to have each their fair share of girlfriends, affairs and lovestruck, to the point of being called dangerous and unserious. Luckily, they weren’t girls, and their lives would've been way too difficult at that point.

The night grew old, and everyone got drunk, forgetting their problems. New couples were made, some broke up, and some swore eternal love. Hoseok found the love of his life, an unknown girl from a nearby town who’s probably using a fake name and won’t come back to his mind ever again.

Now Hyunwoo had too much beer, and nature was calling him, so he went to the far end of the party where there were more chances to find a couple doing funny stuff than to see your further away than your nose, found a lone three, undid his zipper and let himself go, eyes closed realizing he was dizzy. Now, his mouth had a bitter aftertaste of beer. He was annoyed and disgusted by everyone in the party, so he turned around, ready to leave, when he heard a gasping sound. It took him a few seconds to focus his eyesight, but then he saw her.

She was there: pale, thin, long black hair, looking almost like a ghost, but weirdly, the ghost looked scared. They both looked each other up and down, and she looked more scared than before. Did he forget to zip his pants? He checked he was fine.

Sorry is something-

NO! Sorry I didn’t see anything, bye, sorry -

She left so suddenly and pretty fast, too, it took him a few seconds to react and follow her, but when he did, she was already out of sight behind some tree or maybe jumped into a bush? Who could tell? Not him.

He let her go and went back to where he parked his truck. He should've followed her she could have been lost in the goods he hadn’t seen her before. Therefore she wasn't form here. 

He turned around, ready to look for her, but she was in the woods, and she wasn’t from here. She looked scared and ran off as soon as she had the chance. Was she doing something? Someone?

He returned to the path to his truck, but she was all dressed and looked pretty. Girls who do someones in the woods end up all messy and with missing clothes, maybe she was just lost

maybe she was.

maybe she wasn’t…

alone? With someone?

Was she real? He was pretty drunk. Could someone have put something on the fire? He arrived late and didn’t start it himself.

He slapped his face hard, took a moment, entered his truck, started the engine and left; he’d check if Hoseok were still alive tomorrow. He was looking at ghosts and ready to throw up. It was time to go home.

[softpine]

thank you guys for indulging me, you literally changed my whole mood 💖

@morrigan-sims mac absolutely counts :P i forget how long it's been since you guys have seen him, because he's always running around in the background being a nuisance while i'm trying to set up scenes fjskjds but anyway, thank you sooo much for sharing!! the supernatural elements are definitely my favorite too, i try to keep them balanced because i know they're not for everyone, but i find them so interesting to explore.

steviiiie my girl stevie. i don't pick favorites but she does have a special place in my heart (unfortunately for her, that means i pass a lot of my own issues onto her lmao but what else is writing for?) to answer your question: the dream she had as a kid was just a regular "wishful thinking" type dream, nothing prophetic! but if stevie got the chance, she absolutely would go comfort her younger self. she needed the hug :(

ahh i remember that anon about coco, that's so cool that you guessed that!!

thank you so much for this message, for always giving the best feedback, for being soooo awesome, all that great stuff :') 💖💗

@titoro woahhh i know exactly what post you're talking about and that's so long ago, thank you for being here 🥺💖💖💖 i'm so thankful that you would go out of your way to keep reading, and i hope YOU know how appreciated you are 💗

omg same, i have to rein myself in otherwise i would give you 293293029 alternate universe finns 😭 and that's awesome, my favorite thing is giving characters enough depth where you can be angry at them and also understand them and wish things were different! thank you so much for reading 💖💖

@rebouks WHAT i had no idea you read frozen pines before you joined, that's so cool 🥺 you inspire me constantly so you have no idea how much it means that i inspired you a little bit too. and i'm so happy that's the message you took away; i used to get embarrassed over how much i cared about my silly little NOT LITTLE sim story, but there's no reason for anyone to be embarrassed over anything they care about and have put so much love into creating. i have a lot of pride in what i've created and i hope you do too 💖 thank you so much for sharing, this made me so happy to hear 💗

godddd this is so sweet, thank you so so much for taking the time to share this with me (it's not too much, it's juuust right haha) 💖 these are some of my favorite scenes i've ever worked on, so i'm really glad you like them!! it's rare that i ever look at one of my own posts and wouldn't change anything, but that's how i feel about jada & alisa's confrontation, like it literally jumped out of my brain and onto the screen exactly how i pictured it. it makes me crazyyy 🥴 i just recently re-read the stevie + truck driver story and the funny thing is, i have no memory of whatever "daddy issues tiktok trend" i was angry about, but i'm glad i wrote it. you're not alone in it being a little too relatable lol. NYC griffin!!! i miss him :( he was probably the happiest version of finn we've seen yet. at the very least, he was the version with the most freedom. "i will love you in every life" literallyyy 😭 and he WAS the catalyst for asa and finn's real kiss omg. asa would've taken way longer to confess his feelings were it not for NYC griffin. pour one out for him!! sjksjd thank you soooo much for this lovely message 💖💖

ahhh that's a huge compliment, thank you 🥺💖

@bitchyybabyy400 omg if i was an outsider and casper/talon's kiss was the first thing i saw, i'd back out soooo fast (i'm really sensitive to second-hand embarrassment fjksjds) so i applaud you for sticking around :') and an IDEA BOOK that's so cool !!!! i'm legit honored, thank you so so much 💗💗 huge congrats on testing out of that class!!

@moonfromearth ooh this is super interesting, i'm always curious to know which posts "hooked" new readers!! it's amazing to hear that each characters' personality comes through even though you don't know who they are. and you even read the short story!! that's so cool, thank you!! 💖

awww yes selvadorada!! i need to speed things up so we can get back there faster lmao. this is so sweet, thank you 💗

@kanakomimura ohh man yeah, the labor scene made me emotional too ;-; and of course the breakup scene, i'm still pleased i was able to shock people with something we all knew was coming. thank you so much for sharing, this means a lot 💖

I MISS HIM SO MUCHHH. soon.....

@hedgehogs-and-songbirds thank you!! i ended up building a compost bin which took me all afternoon, but was pretty fun sjfksjd and i miss that era sooo much, it's why i'm always doing flashbacks and remaking their teen sims because i miss them 🥺 but it's been fun to try new things too! i'm so happy you're still around 💖💖

[invisibleraven]

"I want to start a family of our own..." for Rose/Ray/Reggie

It's Rose who brings it up as they sit on a park bench one day. "I want to start a family of our own."

"We are a family," Reggie replies, though he can see the way her eyes tracked the children playing nearby.

"You know what I mean tesoro," Rose scowled.

"You mean you want to have children?" Ray clarified.

"Yes," Rose replied. "One or two little babies. A bit of all of us for us to love and cherish and watch grow."

Reggie froze at that, eyes going unfocused. "I-I can't," he said, shaking his head. He ran off, not turning back when he heard Rose and Ray calling out to him, just kept going. He needed to get out, now.

He ended up back at Silver Lake, the beach he always went to when he needed to think, to be alone. His parents house was long gone, and them with it. He had no clue where they were, nor did he care. They hadn't made any effort to be there for him after the guys died, barely registering that he hadn't joined them.

But they were also the problem.

Reggie would be the first to admit he came from bad stock. His parents had married after his mom got pregnant and spent the next eighteen years making each other miserable. Loud screaming matches that lasted through the night, broken dishes and furniture littering their home, constant abuse hurled his way. Reggie had never forgotten each and every bruise and cut, each doled out by their hands.

He couldn't pass those genes along, he wouldn't.

"Reggie?"

He didn't turn, knowing that it was Ray, approaching cautiously. He came here knowing they would find him, they always did. Let them sit on both sides of him, their heads leaning on his shoulders.

"You wanna tell us what all that was about?" Rose asked finally, her words almost obscured by the crashing waves.

"Do you not want kids?" Ray asked.

Reggie shook his head. "It's not that-it's that I can't have kids. I can't end up like them."

Rose and Ray shared a glance. They knew what the Peters had been like, though it had taken years and a lot of therapy for Reggie to open up about that. Even then he still suffered some days, needing to be reminded that they were there, that he was worth more than his parent's treatment.

"You won't," Ray assured him. "Reggie you are the most loving man I've ever met, there is no way you could ever turn out like those wastes of space."

"And we don't have to have kids the traditional way," Rose added. "We could adopt, or even foster."

"But you want to have a baby," Reggie sniffled. "I can't rob you of that dream because of my hang ups."

"So you don't knock me up," Rose said with a shrug, making Reggie honk out a laugh. "Even though we would make some damn good looking babies."

Reggie laughed at that. "We really would."

"Reggie," Ray started, then paused, gathering the right words. "Even if the baby isn't biologically yours, you would still be their father. And I think you would make a fucking great one."

"Really?" Reggie asked, his voice wavering.

"Really really."

"But we don't have to have kids, not if it's going to be too hard on you," Rose promised him. "You were right, we are a family, just us three."

"No," Reggie said, his voice firm. "We're having kids. So Rsay can play catch, and you can teach them piano and I can make weird shaped pancakes every Saturday. I want all that."

"You sure?" Ray asked.

Reggie smiled, picturing himself cradling a little baby to his chest, all Ray and Rose, but his too. Learning Spanish right alongside them (he was getting better but he'd never be fluent), doing their hair,showing them all of MeeMaw's recipes. He wanted that.

"Yeah," he said finally. "Let's make a baby."

"Reginald," Rose said, waggling her eyebrows. "People will see!"

Ray cackled at that and Reggie blushed furiously as Rose joined him. "You menace," he said. "Home then, and we'll play around, see what happens."

"Sounds good," Ray replied. Taking Reggie's hand in his, the both of them taking a hold of Rose and starting on home.

A home that welcomed Julie just over a year later, and Carlos a few years after that. Reggie's kids, even if they didn't share a drop of his blood-he was still their dad. And Ray was right, he was a damn good one at that.

[berristreasuredlibrary]

Jealous Man

TW: reader is pregnant in the beginning, smut, impregnation, somnophilia, breeding kink (?), language (on my part), jealousy (?), believe that's it

A/N: You may insert any character, reader is AFAB. I kinda like this one, idk why but I'm writing a lot of pregnancy stuff??? Oh well, read with caution and enjoy! :p

He's not a jealous man.

He prides himself on that fact, in the years he's been with you he's never felt the need for reassurance. He's never felt like he's had to compete with any man for your attention. It's not cockiness, he just knows and trusts that you love him the same way he loves you.

And this goes both ways, he's made sure to try his best so you don't feel as though you need to compete with other women. He's polite, kind even, but he has boundaries he enforces each and every time he converses with women.

He makes it clear that he is happily taken, messing with his wedding ring, keeping his phone upright, a picture of you lighting up the screen whenever he gets a notification.

Even going as far as to spray your perfume into the air and walk through the mist, as he's seen you do many times before. One spray is enough, as it sticks to his clothes and mixes with his cologne, a scent you've come to love.

He wears your hair-ties on his wrist, even the brightly colored ones, sometimes he even ties his own hair up with them, or attempts to. Most times he only gets parts of his hair to stay up, his bangs falling back into his face within a few minutes, and he spends the day huffing them away from his eyes.

Other times he manages to get all of his hair into a small ponytail and only a few strands fall out to frame his handsome face. The face you spend nights applying different products of skincare, gushing about what does what and how it'll help his skin.

He's not a jealous man.

He's really not, but something about other men shamelessly staring at you when you're both out for the day just bothers him to no extent. When those men so casually ignore his presence and saunter their way up to you, far too close mind you, just to try and get you for themselves.

Ignoring the big bright diamond on your finger, ignoring the roll of your eyes when they boast so ungraciously about themselves. Ignoring the way you wave them off, forced smiles and politeness, "no thank you"s and "my husband does that just fine, perhaps even better" falling from your lips.

Ignoring the bump in your belly.

The bump that he also prides himself on, the bump that didn't take much convincing of. You both had wanted a baby, a little bundle of joy to care and love. Within the second year of your relationship you both had known you were meant for each other, there was no doubt about it.

Even when other people doubted the strength of your relationship, saying it wouldn't survive past high school, you both had beaten the odds. Through everything you both stuck together, the good and the bad, the terrible fights where neither of you were willing to back down for days until someone brought peace offerings.

The best times were spent in the comfort of your shared home years later, where you both could unwind and be yourselves, not having to worry about anyone else but each other. Creating domesticity in the house of your dreams, memories that never faded and love that continued to grow.

Within the year you both were engaged, you had brought ideas to the table. What you wanted to do before and during the big wedding, who you wanted and didn't want to attend. Work, money, time, and contributions, everything was planned out before the big day.

You both knew what you wanted in life, you both strived for perfection and when either of you fell short of your high expectations the other was there to lift the spirits again. Your aspirations to grow and learn with each other were fulfilled within a year of your marraige.

In the second year you had surprised your husband with a box, a small simple one that held something so big and dear to the both of you. Within that box was a pregnancy test, a positive one at that, and he swore that was one of the best days of his life.

He had cared for you throughout the pregnancy, every mood swing, craving, restless night, shopping trip. He was the perfect man and you knew he'd be just as perfect as a father. He knew he'd do anything for his child, he'd be the best he could ever be, give your child exactly what they needed. He'd strive for perfection.

He wasn't a jealous man, he knew he was yours and you were his.

He wasn't a jealous man, but as soon as your doctor gave you the green light for sexual activities after the birth of your first baby something snaps. It's as if a switch flipped, he's mostly quiet during the car ride home, letting you do most of the talking and only nodding along or smiling at you.

Once you get home, he's tugging you to the bedroom like a child on Christmas. You both have the house to yourselves, your baby spending the day with grandparents, for the first time in a while. As he tugs you towards the room, you can't help but laugh as his childish manners, quickly you're cut off when you're pushed down onto the bed with him hovering over you.

He's not a jealous man, but the grip he has on your hips is possessive, angry almost. His rough thrusts have your eyes rolling back, your hands gripping the sheets of your bed, and loud moans bouncing off the walls.

His cock stretching your cunt so deliciously it makes you delirious, whines, moans, and incoherent babbles of his name fall from your puffy bruised lips. Your pussy has his dick in a death grip, tightening around him with each thrust, trying to suck him back and keep him inside forever.

He honestly had forgotten how fucking heavenly you felt, he's on cloud nine. The lewd expression on your face is almost enough to make him cum, the feeling of your pussy pulling him back in, and the sounds of skin against skin gets him even closer.

But what really gets him are two things, one being the chants of his name, a melody that only you sing so beautifully for him. Over and over you moan and whimper his name like a goddamn prayer, like he's a god.

The second is the possibility of pregnancy again. Just knowing that he can fuck you stupid, absolutely stupid, and in return you give him another baby. He can make a mess of you, have your legs trembling in a matter of hours, and you delight him with another bundle of joy.

And when the time comes, everyone will see you holding your first child and rubbing your growing stomach. They'll know, no man will ever think to make advances again, not when they see just how happy you are with your husband and children.

Not when they see that he has you stuffed full as soon as he's given the chance.

That thought alone spurs him on, it fuels the fire inside him, makes his dick twitch inside you as he makes you cum for the nth time that night. He pushes your legs up so your thighs are pressed against your tits, looking down he can see ring of your cum forming around the base of his cock.

Watching as his dick disappears into your pussy, he groans as he imagines just how beautiful you looked pregnant and how radiant you'll look again. He presses his body against yours, pinning you down against the mattress, and he ruts into you.

He grips the sheets on either side of your head, sweat drips down his temples, groans fill your ear as he buries his face into your neck. His pelvis grinds onto your overstimulated clit, his dick brushing against the sweet spot that has you creaming around him yet again.

Strings of curses fall from his lips as he spills his load inside you, filling you to the brim, shallowly thrusting into you to make sure nothing slips out. He lets your legs go, rubbing your thighs and pressing kissing along the side of your neck, cooing soft praises to you and holding you tightly against him.

And later into the night, when he feels as though your pussy looks quite empty, he raises your leg ever so gently. He wraps his arm around your midsection and toys with your clit, smiling to himself when he sees your breathing sped up.

Grinning like a child in a candy store when he feels your arousal coating his fingers, kissing along your shoulder as he slowly slips his painfully hard cock into your awaiting cunt, which only seems to have gotten tighter despite the previous hours.

Hissing quietly, he keeps toying with your clit as he slowly starts thrusting into you, your small moans coaxing him and helping him set a pace. He knows you're tired, so tired and sore, but he remains gentle, even when you stir from your slumber, whining and mumbling sleepily.

He only shushes you gently, promising that he'll do all the work, telling you to just lay there and he'll fuck you back to sleep. Of course the last thing you do is fall back asleep, you rock your hips in time with his thrusts, helping you both reach your highs.

Ecstasy courses through your veins, even in your sleepy state you're aware of him. Your mind is filled with nothing but him, him, him. You move your own hand down and hold your leg up for him, giving him a chance to angle his hips ever so slightly.

He brings you to your climax after a few more thrusts, pressing kisses to your still swollen lips, mumbling words of affirmation to you, promising to give you whatever you want. whenever you want it. His groans fill your ears once more as his hips stutter and lose their rhythm when he spills into you again, your walls getting coating white.

And imagine his delight when you come to him weeks later with another small box, a positive pregnancy test inside. A few doctor visits later, ultrasound pictures show two small sets of hands and feet. Two new siblings for your firstborn, two new additions to your family.

He's not a jealous man, but he fucks you like one.

[valeriianz]

Hi, @chaosheadspace here. (Anon cause sideblog and stuff).

I have a question regarding your playlist for the playlist you made for your Dreamling band AU. (Which is very good, btw. I'm looking for new music atm and was elated being greeted with someone saying "I want to skin you alive". Glorious.)

Did you choose the songs you think they might have played or did you choose songs that embodied the characters and the setting for you? Please feel free to ramble at length.

Hello! Oh goodness... I'm so happy to receive this ask. I've never thought much about music while writing fics (I don't even listen to music while I'm writing, I find it very distracting) but given this is a BAND au, it was almost inevitable (90% of the songs on the playlist were added before I even published the fic). Allow me to ramble, since you've given me permission haha.

All of these songs already exist somewhere on my Spotify, I listen to a lot of indie and alt rock and remember coming up with the idea for Bolt in the Blue and daydreaming A LOT about Endless as a band and what they might sound like. So, while I was commuting to work, cleaning my apartment, doing laundry, I had my Spotify on a constant shuffle and every time a song popped up that made me think about Endless, I tossed it into a playlist. A lot of edits were made before I decided to publish the final draft lol.

So while this did start out as what I imagined Endless would sound like, I also started to think about what each member might contribute to said playlist. I thought of it like... when you're at a show and music is playing through the speakers while you wait in the crowd and the stage is being set up. I could picture the whole band making a playlist and contributing equally.

I tell you, and myself, that it's not that deep. It's music that gives me vibes for the band only, and doesn't reflect the fic at all. Well, except one song. Mile Deep Hollow by IAMX is such a Dream song to Hob that it makes me vibrate while listening to it now:

So thank you You need to know That you dragged me out Of a mile deep hollow And I love you You brought me home 'Cause you dragged me out Of a mile deep hollow

I mean... no explanation needed. Hob is Dream's light and is the one who inspires him and drags him up from a deep darkness (kind of spoiler but eh, I like to think I'm pretty predictable and we could all see that happening from a mile away).

But the other tracks? Eh... I mean some definitely give off vibes but I wouldn't connect any of them to the fic itself. Even the fic title, Bolt in the Blue, while obviously taken from the LPX song, is not indicative of the story at all (that's a separate post though, it's all a metaphor lmao). Which is why, secret's out, I'm currently building a new playlist that will go along with the fic chapter by chapter lol. But that won't be ready until Bolt in the Blue is finished. I kind of realized, very recently, that I wanted a proper playlist to go along with the themes and characters in the fic.

So, while Endless' Personal Playlist is exactly that- just songs that one: I imagine the band could actually write and perform but also two: all made together and music they'd all rock out to in their tour bus... this new playlist I'm making will accurately describe and emulate the plot. I'm having a fucking blast building it and can't wait to share it with everyone :)

And just for fun, here's who I think added what track to the Endless playlist (as I've stated in the past, music is subjective and who you connect each song to is up to interpretation. And here's mine, and yes, there are some repeats):

Dream:

Poison by Alice Cooper Mile Deep Hollow & The Great Shipwreck of Life by IAMX Nothing Personal by Night Riots Don't You Forget About Me by Billy Idol

Death:

Bolt in the Blue & Slide by LPX Stone Cold Crazy by Queen Shout by Placebo Holy Mother by Starbenders

Despair:

Human & High by Anavae Blue Monday by Orgy Everything Black by Unlike Pluto Stone Cold Crazy by Queen

Desire: High by Avavae Youth Gone Wild by Skid Row Shout by Placebo Modern Day Cain by IDKHBTFM Hang on to Yourself & Massacre, The New American Dream by Palaye Royale

Delirium:

Maniac by Carpenter Brut Youth Gone Wild by Skid Row Call Me a Saint by YOKANA Don't You Forget About Me & Mony Mony by Billy Idol

Alright, I'm finished lol THANK YOU for letting me ramble!! I hope everyone reading enjoys the rock n roll or at the very least discovers something new from the playlist :D

[yanderefairyangel]

Don't get me wrong, I really like the twins and the 4 winds, but the more time passes, the more I wished the DLC had a different story, cause while I love Nel and Rafal I don't think their own experience as Fell children can be read as an extension of the main story but moreso as mirroring it. What do I mean by this ?... well, remember when Nel and Veyle have a problem knowing who is the oldest one because they are born and have been raised in different world ? THAT'S exactly what I am refering to cause it doesn't matter how similar Sombron and Xenobron are, even then Alear, Veyle and the Fell twins didn't had the same childhood. I already explained it many times but because the twins seems older then Alear that means chances alternate version of themselves existed are low and the devs aren't gonna confim it anyway due to hum * check notes* Ah yes, the Twins becoming irrelevant once you completed the DLC ha, ha, ha ! ha...

But because of this, it means that literally anything they can say about their world might not apply 100% to Alear's childhood. So the whole "Oh Nel and Rafal might help providing more about how Sombron treated his kids" falls flat, heck the main story hides behind that to justify the utter irrelevance of the twins in the main story since otherwise they could create so many plot holes Engage's plot would look like gruyère cheese. Moreover, the Fell Xenologue's story feels a bit too much irrelevant since it doesn't bring much to the main plot and it's basically like running in circle when you end up recruiting the one person that started everything!!!

Now, my personal wish for a DLC story, especially since Engage's cut content revealed they intented to put a playable Past Alear would be a bonus DLC about Alear's past. The Story would have taken place once Alear saved Veyle and regain their memories but instead of accessing it through the Somniel well, you can acess it on your chamber, you select play the story and then we are shown Alear sleeping and dreaming of their past and you live again the war of 1 000 ago. Like this Nel and Rafal would have been Alear's sibby and they would have had more relevance in bringing on the Sombron drama family, like this we see Alear in the past fighting with them and maybe another bunch of Fell siblings like this we get a better picture of why Alear cared about their siblings since they were sad for all of them being dead, we could see them intereact and then we have at some point the occassion to see Alear meeting Lumera for the first time!! Because it's obvious that Alear betrayed Sombron to save Veyle and at that time they were the only sibling so, they didn't had any other siblings to protect which means we could have also see the reason why Alear completely turned their back on Sombron !! And then when you finish the last paralogue, Alear comes to see Veyle and tells her about their siblings and tells her she remembers everything and share their memories. So you of course, wouldn't get Nel nor Rafal as units to join you nor the Winds, but like this the story would have contributed to the main one, we could have had even more sympathy for Alear and their siblings by giving them a proper identity (and maybe it would have helped Sombron beat Hilda at worst parent tournament ) because... I like to have dragons units too but with this story DLC YOU COULD HAVE HAD ALEAR TURN INTO ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cause we could have seen how Alear meets with Veyle !!!!! And when they gave her the dragonstone !!! So sure, you would have had to fight Sombron since you could have had the cinematic at the end of chapter 20/21 but just imagine. The story for Xenologue being this offered so much opportunity to expand more on Alear's family and live as a Fell child and I know, I know that the Alternate world was obviously though seriously since the DLC Emblem are bracelets from XenElyos and this is clearly explained from the get go, but I can't help it, I wanna know more about Lulu's sibbies, even if you can't recruit any of Alear's sibling due to it being a dream/memories because it would have helped bring more to the story. Now you can argue that for the 3DS game, the DLC didn't had that too, but Future Past did provided some material for explaning how Morgan even exists, Heir of Fates did deepended more on Anankos lore and helped flesh out the Fates 2nd gen even if it was just a Future Past clone story (and more intersting and better writtent then the main story) and Ashen wolves... huh, brough some informations about Byleth's mom ? (what was the purpose of Ashen wolves again ?)

[readingforsanity]

The Last Lady of the Silver Screen | Deanna Lynn Sletten | Published 2024

1934 - Young Kathleen Carver dreams of becoming a movie star despite her father's warnings that she wouldn't want that life. As she grows, she becomes more determined and her strong personality and independent soul won't let her give up. After college, she stays out east and works in the theater. Then her big break comes - Hollywood is calling - and she goes home to California to become the star that she always knew she'd be. But there are bumps along the highway to stardom, heartbreak, losses and scandals. And secrets - so many secrets to keep.

Today - Kathleen Carver hates publicity. Despite having been an actress of both stage and screen since the mid-1940s, she's always despised the way newspaper and tabloids distorted stories about her private life. Her life had been unconventional for a single woman of her generation, making her an easy target for rumors. But now, at 98 years old, she's published her autobiography for personal reasons, and she hates that she had to do it. Additionally, she's agreed to do several interviews for a documentary on a streaming channel, and it feels like torture sharing bits and pieces of her life with the world. But she has her reasons and the public will never learn from her the true secrets she's kept locked inside no matter how hard they try. Because old Hollywood had big secrets, and she refuses to betray her friends, or herself.

Kath Carver, now 98 years old, has finally written the autobiography of her extraordinary life. She was a matron of the silver screen for decades, living a life of luxury when so few could maintain it. After agreeing to an interview request to discuss her new book from Netflix, she, along with her niece Carolyn, began meeting in the studios to discuss her life.

As a young girl, Kath knew she wanted nothing more than to be a movie star. Her father, a lawyer for Warner Brothers studios, didn't think it would be a good idea, but after leaving to attend college at Bryn Mawr, Kath never faltered in what she knew she wanted to do. Leaving Bryn Mawr with her close friend, Jane, they headed off to New York City to try their hand at acting.

Kath and Jane began receiving parts in plays, and eventually, Kath was asked out to Hollywood to screen test as an actress. Miraculously, she was signed with MGM and so began Kath's acting career. She became good friends with tons of stars of the times, making several movies with Scott Coolidge as director, even renting one of the guest houses on his immense properties, and the illustrious Rock Hudson.

Eventually, she met and began to fall in love with Gordon Quinn, a leading man in Hollywood. Despite already being married with two young children, Gordon began to fall in love with Kath as well. Despite their relationship, they kept it hidden from the public eye due to his marital status, though he was always open with Kath about it: he was only in the marriage because if he attempted to divorce his wife, Ellie, it would be impossible.

For over 20 years, Gordon and Kath remained in love, while also starring in as many as four films together. Gordon, unfortunately, had a problem with drinking that led him to spending time in a rehab hospital a few times, and the two of them had never been pictured together publicly.

After Kath found herself unexpectedly pregnant after her birth control failed, Kath and her younger sister, Kat, went off to France, where Kath would hide out in order to give birth to her child. Gordon was unable to accept that Kath was pregnant, and told her that it needed to be taken care of. Kat and her husband Grant had been unable to have a successful pregnancy, suffering two miscarriages in as many years, and Kath wants to give Kat her greatest gift.

In January, she gave birth to a healthy baby girl, whom Kat names Carolyn. Grant and Carolyn raise her, never once giving her any doubt that they were her parents, and Kath was happy to be known as her favorite aunt. After marrying and eventually losing her husband, Carolyn moved in with Kath in order to be her assistant and companion, and the two of them have a wonderful relationship.

While away filming a movie in Australia, Scott sends a telegram to announce to Kath that Gordon had passed away on Christmas Day. Devastated, she returns to the United States after being unable to attend his funeral because of their secret relationship, and continues to grieve him, while also beginning to lose several of her friends due to drugs, age as well as the AIDs epidemic of the 1980s.

She also begins losing her parents, as well as her close friend Jane, along with her sister Kat to cancer in 2002. Her only remaining sibling is her youngest brother, Danny, after losing her other brother, Graham, to drunk driving many, many years before.

After completing the interview, she agreed to do a book signing at Grauman's Chinese Theater in order for her to meet fans, take pictures and sell her new book. After returning home from the signing, that despite her reservations, had turned out to be one of the best days of her life, Kath finally acknowledges to Carolyn that she is her mother. Carolyn confesses that she has known since her mother died in 2002, and her father had confirmed it, though she was sworn to secrecy not to tell Kath that she knew.

That night, at the age of 98, the world-famous actress Kathleen Carver died peacefully in her sleep, finally reuniting with the love of her life and the many family and friends that had left before her.