#..... come back Sunday tho
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Its okay, I promise | Next
#ts4#indya#black simblr#welp.... this appears to be the end? of the arc? but its not? BECAUSE WHY IS SHE ON THE FLOOR#I quit....#lemme go get these wings#ts4 story#sims 4 story#simblr#ch24#..... come back Sunday tho
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Me explaining why the winking lady at the end of The Church On Ruby Road is Susan, Susan Twist is the one who waited, and Ruby is their love child
#the lady winked at the camera#who else has been winking at the camera this season?#its purposely connecting them bc they both break the fourth wall#++ her main line#“never seen a TARDIS before?”#who named the tardis#huh?#thats right#susan did#i am completely delusionally convinced that susan is coming back soon#the susan twist and love child thing is just something im throwing out there#bc she is the one following them through time and space#who else could the one who waits be referring to?#ruby being their love child is bc i gen cant decide who i think her mother is#plus we havent really thought about who the dad is#either one of them could have probably changed forms and been a man long enough to father a child#would also just love to watch ruby explain to her mother that the docter is her great grandfather bc his granddaughter is her birth father#dw at its finest#fr tho i really love the new season so far#dw#doctor who#fifteenth doctor#ruby sunday#my theories
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#oh lads. lads. lads. lads. im being sucked back into the world of academia#i dont even kno what happened. a week ago i was crying bc i was like: this is impossible. i simply cannot do this.#and then i went into the lab sunday and miraculously i was able to easily read some papers. like i dont kno how to discribe how baffling it#was. like reading papers is like pulling teeth and this was somehow easy. i think maybe it was bc i let myself get distracted and wander#thru it. and then after that i got so much done this week and i was tired but having fun. and like the thing is: i fucking love evolution#it's like puzzling out the code for life in both a metaphical and literal sense. its fucking incredible. and my project is also very#interesting. if a bit intimidating in its scope. ya kno. just in the way photosynthesis is generally intimidating#but i think i have a strain thats lost chlf which is really interesting and my advisor said we might have the money to try some crispr for#my cyano children. hypothetically. maybe. and i get to do some poking around in genomes. theres so so much to love there#how could i possibly want to do anything else? and yet. and yet. here at the end of the week im so wrung out and i kno i just have to start#again on sunday and i kno im gonna have to step it up in terms of reading if i want to make it through a committee meeting and proposal#defense. not to even mention a comprehensive exam. and what do i get at the end of all this? a lifetime of academia draining my life away.#bc what i do is so academic. so whats the point? its just so frustrating.#and on top of that ive got all this data from my old lab that i kno i have to work on. and i will. i will. but with what time?#anyway the point is. i can see a path forward now where i stay here and decide the pain will be worth it despite not knowing where im going#after that. im just so tried#but right now it feels like im gonna stay until someone kicks me out#but that doesnt exactly make me feel happy. ugh. but if i stay i want to get my old pi to come here and give a seminar. ill warn her how#intimidating the department is tho. we've had 2 talks in the last 2 weeks that were... not good. particularly the one this week#like she couldnt answer a single question they thru at her and didnt seem to kno her data sets. it was hard to watch. anyway. i just want#to see my academic mother again. send me back to the desert! let me rot in a field full of sage#but send me back to the hills of an older mountain range. where i can climb sandstone cliffs and lay in carpets of moss. except i wouldnt do#that bc of all the ticks and threat of lyme disease...#anyway. im still tired. still sad. and there doesnt seem to b a way out#unrelated
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RANT
#hey boss#u uh- u said i was working sun n wed- can i have more consistent days so i have days to block out for interviews?#.#uve been forewarned#ok so its four months into my gap year and HOLY SHIT JOB SEARCHING IS SO FRUSTRATING#so im working as a clerk at this law firm mon and wed (only 8 hours total tho)#n i THOT i had my reatil job in the bag but then boss goes “yea im really sorry but i cant give u three days - only sundays and weds”#so i was like great ok i need another job thats cool ill just bliock out sundays and weds for potential employers#THEN on sat boss texts n goes “ahhh i dont need u till next week- also can u switch ur wed to fri”. ??????? MA'AM#so i go#she says sorry kid i dont WHICH IS FINE I APPRICIATE THE COMMUNICATION#so i have an interview the next day at a coffee shop for a time THE MANAGER OFFERED#i show up after having pit my day aside for this noon interview#i walk in employees go “uh ho manager stepped out”#she camnt come back for the rest of the day AND doesnt apologize in her email- just “unfourntallyyyy i didnt have time to check my email”#MAAM YOU SEND THE INVITE#whatever#luckily last friday i was invited to this job fair by like four diff locations in san fran n was immeditaly hired#(first trial shift tmr yay!)#but the commute is gonna be KILLER#however im hopeful n i love coffee so yay#also my pet sitting is taking off ive got two sits booked for october#which is suprising bc im also traveling for half the month#manchester edenbrough st andrews milan lake como babayyyyyyy#also this thursday im heading to chicago and maine for a wedding (yay go love!) and to tenessee for another wedding in jan#so now ive got law firm retail associate barista dog sitter n i just KNOW when the holidays roll around n both retail jobs will be wack ill#be floored#but. ahem anywats good things frustrating thinsg stressful things but GOD am i glad i took this gap year#oh yea and ive been hiking tones! lands end trail#tilden park
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caved in and pulled lingsha with almost all of my rolls </3
#—gaming.#i won another 50ノ50 tho!#now i just need to explore maps to make up for the lost pulls and really start saving for sunday asdfghjkl#i just KNOW it will bite me back and i will lose 50ノ50 on him when the time comes sob sob
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Won the 50/50 ;u; now I just gotta hold out for her brother
#i should still have enough to guarantee him by the time he comes out too fingers crossed#i really was hoping for more moze eidolons but i didnt get any more of him after the initial first copy 😔#i got luka to e6 finally tho!!#after how quick they brought robin back tho im worried theyll bring firefly back too before sunday#which i just cannot risk going for her at that point lol#i cannot believe my 50/50 luck right now tho gosh#lambs personal junk#lambs plays hsr
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at golden/blue hour the other day 🌕🍂
#mine#autumn#slowly changing trees#and heart tree#ft my cute ass lil car#found a new walk spot in there that’s so nice and to see about my winding road tradition pics and she’s not ready#was beautiful anyway and caught the best blue hour pics don’t do it justice#slow changes down this way there's only pockets for rn another week or so with how cold it's been at night#the highways look insane though I always want to pull off#l've been off so long I go back Sunday :( for a short week tho#wellllllll deserved break from how overworked man#its been so nice I don’t use any damn days all year for this break#have a show tonight and the nightfare this weekend#maybe plans with my dad and full moon#then back to hell but . refreshed#maybe it'll be like last year came back to a raise as a lowkey don't quit bribe#and very appreciated#in the meantime I have soup to think about making#wish had some cowboy hats for tonight#saw some in some store when walking around cambridge yesterday too like come on
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anyway now that im back im excited to get back to work (watching new iwtv, new bridgerton, rewatch challengers and reblog high def pics)
#idk if i’ll make it in time to watch sundays ep tho which :(#cuz my brothers are coming to visit me and my friends are moving back to chicago and throwing a going away party#m
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Haven’t really written anything new and I’m still dipping my toes back in here, but I have more dead darlings from Strictly Professional, so why not share? It’s truly a shame I couldn’t make a place for some of these lines, and I doubt they’ll be of use in the future. Anyway, it’s fun to let these live on their own, and I will likely do this for other fics in the future.
After finishing the first draft, I thought things were going to be pretty smooth sailing on the edit. And then I got to Baz’s first POV of Day 2 and realized it was a mess. There was almost no transition from Baz panicking to Baz flirting. I worked on that scene for three days to get it where it needed to be, and some lines I loved simply had to go.
I also realized that I needed to structure chapters 1 and 2 as mirrors, with their POVs in opposite order. This led to a couple of scenes having to be rewritten from the other perspective, and that meant some internal narration had to be removed.
Did you need that context? Probably not, but I find process interesting, so I’m sharing a little peek into mine for those who like it.
1. Pulled from Day 2 (Baz POV)
“I'd do it all again. I would right now, too, if you asked me. I'd have you right here on this table, if that's what you wanted, bugger the consequences. Or other things."
I have to throw a hand over my mouth to avoid the howl of surprise that tries to burst out of it.
He simply smiles innocently and takes a sip of his own water. "Offer's…on the table," he murmurs, failing to suppress his smile.
2. Pulled from Day 1 (Baz POV)
That should frighten me. I don't like feeling as though I don't have control over my own body. But I can't stay in my head long enough to muster the proper shame, self-loathing, and regret that would ordinarily be plaguing me like the Furies by now.
3. Pulled from Day 3 (POV change)
I missed this, having this—these quiet morning intimacies, whispers and secrets shared over pillows, the presence and weight of another body in bed with mine—even more than I missed having sex.
4. Pulled from Day 3 (POV change)
He draws his hand back and crawls across the expanse of bed to place a kiss on the corner of my mouth, where his thumb had been stroking earlier. He's still smiling; Salisbury must be the world's leading expert on kissing while smiling.
5. Pulled from Day 2 (Simon POV)
"I don’t mean to presume. I know that this is just, you know, this. What happens at the work conference, stays at the work conference, right?"
I know my attempt at humour was pathetic at best, but someone had to try to lighten the mood.
It doesn't work. If anything, it makes Baz look a bit stricken. It was probably a bad idea to bring up the conference right now. (It was definitely a bad idea.) The very last thing Baz needs is to be reminded of all the ways our little tryst is a walking, talking ethics violation.
"Well, I would never presume, either," he says. "I'm fairly certain it would be a fireable offence if I did."
6. Pulled from Day 2 (Simon POV)
"Don't change the subject," he says.
"What subject were we on?" I ask.
"Your impeccable pectorals."
"Oh! So that's why you like my chest."
"It's a leading contender. And I meant what I said. You do look powerful. Strong. Sturdy."
He adds quietly, "some of us could use sturdy."
Thanks for your tags today! Going to go read your posts now. @ileadacharmedlife @j-nipper-95 @larkral @nightimedreamersworld @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @hushed-chorus @blackberrysummerblog Will add some tags for @facewithoutheart @raenestee @artsyunderstudy @cutestkilla @mostlymaudlin @stillmadaboutpetra @sillyunicorn @tea-brigade @aristocratic-otter @thewholelemon @onepintobean @fatalfangirl @martsonmars @ivelovedhimthroughworse @jbrrring @shrekgogurt @moodandmist @letraspal @wetheformidables
#six sentence sunday#strictly professional#i did randomly write a conversation between Simon and Penny for scooby Doo part 2#that was fun#but i can’t share because it has spoilers for part one#i have been getting ideas for it#not sure if i will get to it this year tho#coming up on two years from posting SAE and i am hoping i can draw motivation to get back to it from that#will it be enough to convince my brain??#🤷🏻♀️
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i spent 40 minutes looking for a source so I could write one (1) sentence :') this project is going great
#i would rather do that tho then get points off/look dumb for not citing it#plus its important#its just annoying that almost all of the K eng sub videos dont have transcripts#so i cant ctrl+f#i have to skip through them#the other annoying part tho is i wanted to actually start doing the write up#and now i cant because that was my last 40 minutes before i had to go do something#so now i have to go do stuff#and i probably wont come back to this until tomorrow or sunday ;-;
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Can you eat something? | Next
Author's Note:
Jayce is thinking back to the events that occurred immediately following his dad's funeral which is referenced here <-
#ts4#indya#black simblr#tw death mention#he was asking the important questions tho#even way back then#I wonder what Mercy meant by “not even me”...?#interesting#come back Sunday pls#guess he had a little help putting pops on that pedestal#sims 4 story#simblr#ch24
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so uh. that 2.2 Special Program, huh
#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr 2.2#hsr spoilers#hsr leaks#the body of this post reads as far less enthusiastic than i really am#i just don’t know how to casually return from my latest 2 week hiatus only to gush abt a game i’ve hardly blogged abt before#but i’m not making a whole ass sideblog for it like i did for Genshin. nah y’all r gonna bear witness to my fixation with this one#so anyways don’t mind me. vibrating into another dimension with anticipation for the next 11 days#it’s insane man. a year ago i Never ever woulda thought i’d be so invested in this game. and it took Months for the game to really grab me#but i’m v glad i kept coming back even when i was struggling to really get into it. like i just had this feeling that if i stuck around and#gave the game a chance to really like. come into its stride. i just always felt like there was Something there and i just hadn’t found it#and holy shit i finally found it in Penacony. the devs really truly outdid themselves with this region and these characters and this story#not to discount everything that’s happened prior. like i was genuinely Liking it all before now but i wasn’t Loving it y’know#but that may be more a ‘me having to fight tooth n’ nail to force myself to consume new media’ thing than it is a matter of the actual game#anyways i came here to talk abt the program! bc since i’m not filming my HSR stuff i’m gonna be insufferable abt it on Tumblr instead ! :)#and i’m probably not filming any more Genshin stuff. or anything else at all for that matter but let’s not talk abt that dead dream#pun not intended lmao. Anyways let’s return to the subject at hand while there’s still room left in these tags shall we#i’m so fucking glad they had Aventurine on this program man. especially since he’s leaked to only have 18 lines in 2.2… it was nice to see-#-him here at least 🥹 i’ll take what i can get. his unenthusiastic little bird noises at the beginning.. him being reluctant to come out..#the way one of the first things to come out of his mouth was ‘y’know DR RATIO once told me…’ like boy we get it ur in love with him 🙄 (/J!)#i love how they can’t go on these programs w/o talking abt each other it’s adorable. AND THE WAY HE WAS THE ONE TO EXPLAIN BOOTHILL’S KIT!?#they can’t just fuel my crackship like this… god and his whole ‘muddle-fudger.. son-of-a-nice-lady?’ thing had me wheezing#Aven mocking Boothill’s inability to curse was not on my special program bingo card but fuck i’m here for it#and Robin being all curious abt him was so cute.. ‘who /is/ he? … does he order milk at the bar?’ i’m crying she’s so sweet#also the trailer was fucking insane. which feels redundant as hell bc all of HoYo’s version trailers go hard but like. still. wow.#that millisecond long shot of Boothill surveying the skyline is so fucking good. also what the fuck is Jing Yuan doing here!!#not complaining at all tho. we’ve got JY & DH(IL?). Argenti(?). Boothill. Sunday. Aven. all my men r here and i am eating so fucking good#Seven.txt#viddy game stuff
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Mexican restaurant gave me the wrong textured guacamole. On my BIRFDAY.
#sillyposting#I specified I wanted the smooth kind like twice 😭#I’m still eating it tho bc I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it#I’m coming back here Sunday for a birthday dinner so they can make it up to me then /j#also the girl at the counter asked me if I still worked at the school??#I was so stunned because I don’t remember who she is#I said no but I’m still like??? I should have asked her#I wonder if she’s related to the little Mexican boy that was in our class last year or something and just remembered my face#I’m so tempted to call them and ask 😂#anyway
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Look at me. That was just free practice. This place is still a flaming dumpster fire. Do NOT!!! Even think about it!!!
#let’s still never come back#maranello.txt#tho if charles [redacted] on sunday we should name him the one and only king of las vegas and leave it as a one time thing
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sigh. same final as last year ig
#like i’m sorry but having the same finalists as the year before is just boring to me#hopefully carlos wins 🙏#i’ll be camping on sunday tho so have fun without me yall ✌️#i’ll find out what happens when i come back
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writing a slow burn enemies to lovers fic is. a lot harder. than I had expected.
#it’s why it took me so long to start akdhfkfjf#I’m just not used to writing slow burn!!!!#or enemies to lovers!!! lol#especially since enemies to lovers toes a very thin line#of this being too fast and all at once after a brief makeup#OR they’re too mean in the beginning and it’s like why do u have any attraction to that person at all.#so I’m trying to find the line of hesitant friendship somewhere along the line of that!!!!#even tho I’m only on chap three right now AKDHDKFJFJF#IM SO USED TO RUSHING THIS FEELS SO WEIRD!!!!!!#I’m ready for them to fugg#bc fugg is all I know I fear#but it’s coming along very well and I’m enjoying the writing process so much!!!#only downside is my wrist and back hurting#but trust and believe I’ll be back writing tomorrow ☝🏼#I’m enjoying this so much it’s so cathartic#I think I’m gonna write about five chapters first before I publish it and then write the rest as I go#I just know I can fall behind bc of school and depression but I’m really liking this so far!!!#also think I might upload on Monday’s or Thursdays??? idk#bc I do school tues/wed and I don’t typically get on my computer on sundays#and I usually go to bed either really late or really early Fridays LOL idk#I’m rambling soooo much I’m just so excited about this!!! OH and j made a banner and I love that too!!!!#—in store chit chat! 🍫
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