#... but they know there's one unnamed relationship among this mess and by god will they theorize about it

[transingthoseformers]

Griffin Rock is only getting info on a bit of the drama and the Island team is just absolutely prepared for the Autobots' newest loredrops like it's a biweekly new episode of a soap on cable

Like. In Bumblebee's complaining he avoids trying to mention the blatant Megop at all but Dani just ~knows~ by her and Blades (... and eventually Kade and Heatwave as Kade gets back into his shipping phase and Heatwave's secretly relieved at figuring out what's happening outside Griffin Rock) taking notes. These notes aren't nearly as meticulous and well organized as Fowler's files, are taken on the sly on pieces of scrap paper and this one cracked datapad, and are mostly assumptions based on little bits of information. It'd be interesting to see how much they guessed right and how much they guessed gloriously wrong but omg what an idea that was

[thefanficmonster]

Let Them Talk

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female) ft. Sykkuno

Warnings: Swearing, Jealousy

Genre: Fluff, a bit of Angst

Summary: We can all agree Among Us is a fun game on its own but what makes it ten times better is playing it with the right company. Y/N could agree 100% Being a streamer herself, she loves playing with the streamer gang that includes her boyfriend and best friend. But, what happens when her boyfriend starts doubting her feelings for him due to her close relationship with her best friend.

Requested by @cheetoscat . Thank you so much for your request! Sorry it took so long to write, I hope the final product is worth the wait. Enjoy! Love, Vy ❤

Y/AU/N - Your Among Us Name

I settle in my gaming chair, adjusting my webcam one last time before joining the Among Us lobby with my friends. 

“Hi everyone!“ I say into the mic, a smile plastering itself on my face. Discord is a magical thing, man. It’s so easy to forget that the people you are talking to aren’t around you or within arm’s reach. You could be separated by miles and miles of land or - in our case - oceans as well. Distance becomes negligible when you hear your friends’ voices, their laughter; when you have a good time together despite being each behind a screen, often times alone.

Well, I’m one of those lucky ones that isn’t alone. No one knows that, though. Everyone thinks I’m a single, self-employed girl that’s straight out of college. And they are 90% right. Only thing is - I’m not single. That would be a shocker in and of itself, but revealing who’s changed my relationship status would be a bomb with a whole new intensity.

Speaking of my significant other who shall remain unnamed - just kidding, it’s Corpse - his form materializes in the doorway of my recording room. I give him a hand signal the camera isn’t able to capture, alerting him of the fact that my mic is on. He replies by blowing me a kiss and walking off down the hall to his recording room where he’ll be stationed for the next three or so hours.

I owe this relationship to my best friend Sykkuno. I’m a pretty new and not very well known on the platform, however, thanks to him I haven’t only obtained a boyfriend, but a following of a little over million subscribers as well. 

It all started with an invitation to fill a spot in the Among Us lobby him and his friends had created. It took him quite a bit to convince me to join, but I eventually caved and agreed. Suddenly, there I was. In a Discord call, in an Among Us lobby with some of the most well-known names on this platform. I’m talking YouTube legends. I was that puppy playing with the big dogs. The newbie tagging along with the big leagues. Or at least that’s how I felt until we all started vibing - talking and teasing each other as though we’ve known each other for years and not minutes.

When I joined the call, Corpse wasn’t present. After everyone else introduced themselves, Sykkuno informed me that we were waiting for Corpse to return. The name sounded really cool to me and I was genuinely very excited to meet this Corpse guy.

And then, out of the blue - no prep, no warning...

“Did you get someone to fill the spot? Oh- Hello, Y/AU/N.“ 

…he started talking and he had me star-struck. Apparently, he also had me a blabbering mess cause I remember blurting out: “Whoa, who’s this guy speaking in bold and underlined at the same time?”

The entire lobby, including Corpse, laughed. Sean, or Jack like they called him most often, answered my question, “That is the voice of God, Y/N. Its source is named Corpse, though.”

Heat spread from the bottom of my neck to the tips of my ears. I was mortified by my own stupidity. I was well aware they couldn’t see me and I was incredibly thankful for that, but I simply could not get myself to open my eyes. “I’m so sorry.” I said through nervous laughter.

“No, no, I like that description. Bold and underlined at the same time, huh?“ His voice sounded even more pleasant when it had that teasing, mischievous note to it. That thought popping up in my head only made things worse for my self-esteem and only made me more embarrassed, causing me to hide my face in my hands. “You sure it’s not in Italics as well?“ 

His question got a weak laugh out of me. “Nope, definitely not. Nothing Italic about it.“

Yes, I don’t even know how some terrible jokes about MS Word fonts got me as far as a romantic relationship, but they did! We’ve been living together for quite some time now, dating for even longer - hiding it just as long. It’s not that we have been actively trying to hide it or something, we just wanted to see how long it would take someone to become sus of us. When we realized no one would notice, we decided that if any rumors about us started, or even fans shipping us, we’d come clean. That hasn’t happened either, so we haven’t had the proper chance to address our relationship and neither of us minds.

At this point, I’m honestly afraid of revealing it to the gaming squad. Sykkuno especially. He’s my best friend, after all. I can see him being hurt by the fact that I kept a secret so big even from him. The last thing I wanna do is hurt my best friend but it’s already too late for that, it’s inevitable.

“Y/N have you looked at Twitter today?“ Rae, another streamer I’ve become close with over the months, says urgently.

Overlooking the tension in her words, I answer: “Nope, haven’t had the time. Why? What’s up?“

Before Rae can say anything else, Sykkuno joins the conversation, his voice somehow even more urgent than Rae’s. “It’s nothing, Y/N. If you see it, just don’t let it bother you, ok?”

Hearing such a tone from Rae isn’t unusual, but hearing it from Sykkuno is completely different and a lot more worrisome. “Well if it has the potential of bothering me it can’t be nothing. What’s going on?”

Just then, my phone dings with two notifications. I check to see they are messages from Rae.

“I sent you screenshots. Sorry, Sykkuno. She has to know in order to address it and defuse it as well. I know better than anyone how fast these rumors can spread, especially if no one reacts to them.“ She says, her tone barely apologetic at all.

I open the screenshots she has sent me and I find myself frozen in shock. Some old pictures of Sykkuno and I have been posted on Twitter by some random user. These pictures have started an entire thread of suspicions surrounding our relationship.

The pictures in question are from a New Year’s Eve party a mutual friend of ours held two years ago. Sure, in the pictures we are a lot closer than what would be considered a platonic proximity. And yes one of the pictures is of me kissing his cheek. Yes we were both a bit tipsy. I acknowledge all those things and yet none of them are concrete reasons for these rumors to have started piling. 

“This is silly.“ I finally say after maybe five minutes of silence on my end. ”This is absolutely ridiculous! And why are people so serious about it as well? Actual, important matters get discussed more nonchalantly than the potential relationship between two online personalities! What is this world we live in?“ I know I shouldn’t let these rumors get to me like this, especially not on camera. Still, I can’t help it. I feel it’s so unfair to Corpse. He has to put up with this as well and it’s by no means easy for him. I’ve been shipped with people from our group in the past and he always took those rumors to heart despite acting like he didn’t care. Neither of us should get worked up, but him getting upset about them creates a domino effect with my emotions - causing me to be hit just as hard as him, in some cases harder.

Rumors of the past aside, this one is the worst by far. Mostly cause even Corpse himself suspected something between Sykkuno and I at the very beginning, when we were still acquaintances, barely crossing into the realm of friends.

I pull up Twitter to look for the whole thread, barely sparing my stream chat a glance in the process. It seems pretty split - those who agree with me and those who think Sykkuno and I make ‘such an adorable couple’. The thread is ridiculously long, and if we take into account that it was only started approximately five hours ago, you can either view it as impressive, amusing or sad. Why sad? Because someone has dedicated so much time and effort into fueling the fire of a weakly supported theory.

I love Sykkuno with all my heart. Everyone knows that - fandom, streamer squad, Corpse and Sykkuno included. I love too much and too platonically to ever even dream of having a romantic connection with him. I thought that was more than obvious, but people are either blind here, or just grasping at straws. One thing’s for certain - they’re stepping on a nerve.

“Hey where’s Corpse? Did he disconnect?” Felix asks, gaining my full attention. My eyes dart to the monitor, searching through the little avatars in a desperate search for the one of my boyfriend. It’s nowhere to be found.

“He just messaged me saying his connection is unstable but he might join us later.“ Rae says, “You guys can invite someone to fill...“

“Bathroom break.“ I interrupt, not waiting for a response before shutting my mic off, putting the ‘BRB‘ graphic on my stream and yanking the headset off. I basically run down the hall to Corpse’s recording room, my heart pounding like a bass drum.

“Corpse?!“ I call out to him, one hand already on the doorknob. When five seconds pass by without a response, I barge in. 

Inside, I find his usual spot on the gaming chair empty and his slumped figure seated on his bed.

“Corpse?“ I try again, watching for even the tiniest change of body language. He remains still as a statue, not bothering to look up at me either. 

His hands are gripping the edge of the mattress, his head hanging low. His eyes are covered by the short curtain of his dark messy curls. I can’t gauge much. Is he angry? Is he sad? Both? How should I approach the situation?

Before I find the answer to any of those questions, I am kneeling in front of him, our height difference eliminated. I gently pry his hands off the mattress and take them in mine, holding them firmly but tenderly. With one hand I reach up to tilt his head so his eyes can meet mine. He complies, his tear-filled brown orbs meeting mine. Those tears have the same effect on me as fifty sharp knives stabbing into my chest. These tears focus their attack straight on my heart, tearing it to pieces.

“Baby....“

He cuts me off, “Why is it always someone else, huh? Do they deem me not worthy of being with you? Do they think you deserve better?” His voice wavers, “Well, they might be right. They are correct and there’s little I can do to prove them wrong. They mean you well, Y/N - pairing you with guys better than me. Those are some loyal fans you’ve got. They only want what’s best for you. And so do I. If ‘best’ is being with someone else then...”

It’s my turn to cut him off. I put an end to his nonsense ramble that’s slowly killing me by pressing my finger against his lips. The sternness of my gaze is beyond me as I get up and walk over to his computer setup. I put on his headset and hop into the call as well as the lobby with his avatar.

“Hey Corpse’s back!” Toast says, “Good to have you back buddy.”

“No, not Corpse.” I say in a casual, nonchalant voice.

“Wait, wha-“ Sean’s voice shows just how confused he is, representing the confusion of the entire lobby actually.

“I know all of you are streaming so this message will be heard by several different audiences so I’m gonna make myself perfectly clear.“ I take a deep breath, “Sykkuno and I aren’t dating. He’s a lovely guy and he deserves to find a girl who will treat him right. That girl isn’t and won’t be me though. I am already treating someone right. Someone who treats me more than right as well. An amazing person. A man-child with a heart of gold. You know him, to a certain extent. He goes by the name of Corpse Husband, but I prefer to call him ‘Love of my life’. Thank you for your time and attention, goodbye.“

I exit the call and turn around to find a stunned Copse looking at me.

“That was meant for you just as much.“ I say with a fake strict attitude, one hand on my hip the other rested on his desk behind me, “Were you listening?“

Within milliseconds, he’s on his feet standing directly in front of me, his lips inches away from mine. “I heard and memorized every word. But...” he pauses for a moment, “I think you have no idea how big of a chaos you just created.”

I smile mischievously, “We’ll worry about that later. For now...” I close the gap between us, connecting our lips in a sweet and passionate kiss. 

@susceptible-but-siriusexual  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @hacker-ghost  @itsminniekat  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams  @the-fuck-up-of-today  @slashersdream  @chiefwombathoagiepizza  @solowheein @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01

[stuckybarton]

Another One Bites The Dust

Summary:  Another one of Tony's infamous parties ends with Tony urging the newer members of the Avengers into seeing who was worthy enough to lifting Thor's hammer. No one could have expected the measly girlfriend of Loki Laufeyson would have been worthy enough to lift the hammer. Not even Thor would have expected such an information.

Warning: A few curse words. Fluff. Crack!Fic? Overused Marvel Trope. Spelling and Grammar mistakes cuz English isn’t my first language. Not Beta’d. All mistakes are my own. Characters: Unnamed Female Character (reader insert?) x Loki Laufeyson; The rest of the Avengers.  Words: 1,518 A/N: I--I really don’t know how, but too much Soju while writing isn’t a good thing. At all.

One of the few things Y/N could never get used to are Tony Stark's lavish parties. Faces, both new and old were overwhelming at times. But the very idea of forgetting about the burden of their profession as well as having to socialize with people of different walks of life brought a new view in her mundane life.  It also didn't hurt to have her boyfriend talking to people instead of being the anti-social individual that he is always deemed to be.

But one of the favorite things she could say about the parties were when everyone was gone and the only people left were the team. To be able to let loose and just stopped worrying about work for once. No alien invasions, supremacist, or terrorist to hinder in their down time.

"Why do we have to do this again?" Clint groaned as everyone settled in their seats.

She finds herself settled on Loki's lap, hands intertwined and her back resting against his chest. Moments like this, even at the craziness of the people around them, their silence together means the most for her and she loved it, love this kinds of PDA that he had been more open to show--even for just the team at the very least.

"What are we doing again?" She asked, eyed as Thor placed his Mjölnir on the coffee table for everyone to see.

"Think of this as seeing everyone's potential. Who is worthy of being on the team." Tony explained, everyone responding with a resounding scoff. "Let's see if the new recruits could lift the hammer--which I still think is rigged."

She could hear Loki chuckle, the idea of anyone else besides Thor lifting the hammer was almost impossible. Loki had explained about the countless of warriors of Asgard that had dared to wield the hammer, but everyone failing.

"Okay, so Bird Man, Metal Arms, the Kid, and Y/N." Tony enumerates. "Let's see if you four could lift it up."

"I really think this isn't a good idea, Mr. Stark." Peter had pointed out but Sam was quick to stand up and hold onto the handle.

For the next half an hour, she had watched Sam try his best to lift the hammer but to no avail did not move even a fraction of a centimeter. It a lot out of the man to finally relent and agree with Tony that the hammer was rigged. Just as long as Sam had tried pulling the hammer, Bucky took shorter,  standing only to tug at the hammer and seeing he couldn't even lift the hammer immediately admits defeat.

"You can go ahead, Ms. L/N." Peter insists.

She stared at her boyfriend for a moment, instead of the annoyance she was used to expecting from the man, in front of her was eyes of curiosity. Dilated green eyes wide as his tongue peaked through his teeth.  With the rest of the team egging her own, she finally leaves the comfort of Loki's lap and make her way towards the coffee table where the hammer rested.

"Don't worry if you can't lift it, we won't be surprised judging by your choice in men." Tony pointed out.

She had rolled her eyes, there had been a handful of reasons why the first few months of their relationship was hidden to the team. Tony Stark was one of the biggest and most annoying reason.

Taking a deep breath and downing the rest of her drink, she had placed the glass just besides the hammer and immediately felt the spark of power from the weapon. Had anyone noticed it, she was yet to decide as everyone else seemed more amused with their own things. But Loki, he had his attention focused solely on her.

"So what do I get if I lift this?" she teased one hand finally holding onto the handle and the surge of electricity only made her let go.

"If you can lift that, then I'd buy you a new car and you'd probably rule Asgard among other things." Tony snorts.

Taking a deep breath, she held the handle now with both of her hands and with all the strength she had she lifted the hammer and landed straight on her back with the hammer resting on her chest like it weighed nothing. Loki and Thor were quick to make their way towards her. Everyone now laid silence in a mix of confusion and shock about what had just happened.

"Y/N!" Loki was both amused and worried for her well being especially with such a weapon in her hands, while Thor stood almost lifeless besides him as she had now stood back up, with the hammer still at hand.

"I think I've overestimated myself." she tried to brush of the embarrassment of landing on her back as her attention was now focused on the hammer. It was light as a feather in her hands and it made no sense to her now how Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes were incapable of lifting up the hammer.

"I knew Point Break had hots for you." Tony was the first to point out. "He probably programmed that thing for you too." He continued.

With a roll of her eyes, she had signaled for Peter to come forward and much as the protest of the two brothers, handed the hammer to the kid. Everyone in silence for the fraction of a second the spider boy could lift the hammer, before crashing face first onto the floor leaving even Tony speechless and now eating his words.

"So, do I get to pick the car?" she teased earning an eye roll from Tony, but relented as he called for FRIDAY for further assistance.

~

Everyone slowly headed back to their own rooms one by one, leaving the two Asgardians and Y/N alone. The hammer now once again in her grasp, a smile resting on her lips at the weapon accepting her as someone worthy enough to carry it.

"Only thing left is marry Loki and now we can rule Asgard together." she teased earning a snicker from Loki and Thor rolling his eyes at the thought. Now taking the hammer away from her hands, she was left to pout at the man and his killjoy antics.

"I still cannot understand for the life of me how this is possible." Thor muttered before excusing himself to retreat to his own room for the night.

"You've annoyed the oaf and hurt his pride in one night, I'm impressed, Y/N." Loki smirked, pulling her right back into his lap, in the same position they had been throughout the party. Hands held each others and the mix of coldness of his chest soothed her more than anything.

"You're a bad influence." she teased leaning back until her head now rested on his shoulders. "But does this change anything about me--about us?" she asked, now wondering what this would mean for her.

"I don't believe it would." he responds kissing their intertwined hands.

"But I don't feel like I'm worthy." she points out. "I just joined the Avengers, and I'm not anyone's favorite cause I'd like to spend my time with you instead of them."

"That makes you more worthy." he explained. "For the life of me don't really care about being anyone's favorite but yours and I'm fine with that. I can live with that thought for an entire eon and I'll be alright with it. Happy as well."

Silence had once again lingered in the two of them. It brought back the reason why she loved being with Loki. He understood her in a way no one else did. He always considered her feelings but always tell the truth no matter what the cost may be for their relationship. He was the God of Mischief to her, but never had his silver tongue and his lies make their way towards her and she was happy for it. He was never one to make a fool of her nor did a lie of any kind linger on any of their conversation.

"I love you, Loki Laufeyson." she whispered now turning herself so she now faced him. Arms now wrapped around his neck and her face nuzzled onto the crook of his neck.

"I love you too, Y/N Y/L/N." he whispered, hands rested on the curves of her waist pulling her even closer to him in the embrace.

'NO FUCKING IN THE COMMON AREA.'

The disembodied sound of Tony's voice immediately had the two of them pulling away from each other and glaring at the cameras both of them were certain Tony was watching them in.

"Still have the prank ready?" she asked finally get back to her heat, the mood ruined.

"Ready as it will ever be, Love." he muttered standing back up himself.

"As soon as I get the car from Stark, we can mess up the rest of his car." she smirked pulling the man with her back to their own room, the planned already in motion. Tony shouldn't have annoyed her as much as he did for the entirety of the night.

[cosplayingwitch]

A Study in Dirt and Stars

September 30 Day Writing Challenge

Prompt: cloud/star gazing

Part one of the five part as-yet-unnamed series. (If you think of a name, let me know in the comments!) Each part will take place a good amount of time apart from each other.

Summary Star Wars AU with fem!reader and Poe Dameron as best friends/roommates (more?) and grad students- reader in archaeology, Poe in history/library science. In this part, the two get stuck when Poe’s old truck breaks down and they have to wait for a tow truck.

Triggers none, unless you have an issue with waiting for tow trucks or dirt/dust. Oh, they do swear too.

Tags: @make-me-imagine

Other tags: light angst, two idiots in love, mutual pining, would this count as angst?

The sound of shovels clanging together startled you out of your focus. You’d been reading up on bioarchaological research methods- something so boring most would fall asleep even thinking about it. You, however, find the whole thing fascinating, enough to dedicate your life to it. That sound was the announcement by your students that the day was done. Normally you’d have let them know this, but in that focus you’d lost track of time.

You shout “Nice work today everyone! Same time tomorrow!” even though you didn’t even notice their actual work. Hey, as long as they didn’t fuck anything up enough that it can’t be fixed, no one would ever know. 

The university held a field school for archaeology students every year, mostly upper level bachelors students and the occasional early masters students. Given your status as almost graduating from the masters program, you were easily chosen by your favorite professor to GA the class. Which meant, per your professor, you’d be the one in charge for day-to-day goings on. But if you succeeded at this, it’d be a great addition to your work experiences. Very helpful for getting a job in this field.

Which leads you to look around, seeing that your slightly early dismissal was taken advantage of by the students- they left the equipment strewn about the site without regard for how long it would take you to clean up after them. They’d be in for definite trouble in the morning, you’d make sure of it.

You heard the sound of truck tires coming down the dirt lane that was the only access point for your site. You look up to see your friend coming to pick you up. With your car in the shop- all that dust was not good for the engine- he was your only choice if you were to get to and from work.

“Hey there, Indiana. Discover the ark of the covenant yet?” shouted Poe from the driver's seat. 

“Not yet. Did you manage to run out of books in the library yet?” you shout back.

It was always like this between you two. You’d been friends since your freshman year when you took intro to anthropology together. For him, it was a gen-ed class; for you, it was the start of your career path. He was a history major, now working on his masters, like you. He had managed to get a job in the university’s library, though he would probably describe it like he had gotten a job at the Smithsonian. But joking between the two of you was more natural than having normal conversations. One year, he decided to get you a hat for your birthday, one that was suspiciously like that worn by the movie archaeologist. From then on, he called you Indiana instead of your name as an inside joke between the two of you.

You wouldn’t ever tell him- but you kind of liked it.

“Can’t leave quite yet, Mr Librarian. The students left this place a mess, and if Professor Solo decides to pop by the site in the morning with it looking like this I’d lose all hope of ever getting a job.”

“So? I can help! As long as these aren’t some kind of state-of-the-art technology shovels.” he teased. You could tell, he just wanted to get home. And even with the both of you working together, this could take a while.

About two hours later, once everything was packed up for the night, Poe went to start the truck so you could get home to your shared apartment (who better to be roommates with than your best friend?). And it wouldn’t start. He tried again, and again. Nothing. I guess even momentary exposure to this dust could mess with an engine, you thought. Or maybe his twenty year old truck had just finally kicked the bucket. You’d teased him about that truck for a while now, always joking about it someday just giving up and leaving him stranded somewhere. 

Of course, you’d always imagine yourself as coming to his rescue, not being stranded with him. 

“I guess you were right about it up and dying someday.” admitted Poe. “So are we walking or what?”

“It is getting dark, but it will take forever to walk back to the university. We could call a tow truck? Sit around waiting until it gets here?” you suggest. “It gets so beautiful out here. Without as much light pollution, the stars really shine bright.”

Poe was never one to turn down an activity that involved astronomy. That was his ‘secret’ hobby. He told you once that his dream when he was a child was to travel among the stars, but with that not accessible to him, the best he could do was study those who made the advancements in astronomy. 

The tow truck would take at least an hour, the lady from the dispatch center told you. It was the bad luck of location and calling on a busy night. You didn’t mind, it was more time to spend with your best friend.

“It’d probably be more comfortable to lay in the back than in the dirt.” suggested Poe. You knew that wasn’t the only reason he suggested it. He also hated getting dirty, so the idea of laying directly in recently disturbed dirt had to be unthinkable to him. (This was another thing you teased him about often.) However, this time he did have a slight point. If anything, it would probably stretch your back out more than the ground could.

With both of you perched on the end of the truck bed, you watched the stars together. Poe pointed out the various constellations. Even though you knew most of them already, you let him continue because you knew how happy it made him. Not much of a sacrifice to keep your best friend/roommate, you thought. You zoned out while he started rattling off facts about famous astronomers. He’d be the one to know all this- astronomy+history would always mean Poe would know about it.

You thought about how nice this was. The two of you laying back, talking, nowhere to be until the morning. You could get used to this.

Every so often, you’d chime in with a fact about the mythology behind the names of the constellation. Poe assumed you knew these from your anthropology classes during your undergrad. Truth was, you’d learned them for him. That way you had something to add to the conversation when he was discussing astronomy, which was frequently.

It was inevitable that the tow truck did eventually show up, and your night of stargazing would end. It never seemed like two hours had gone by with just you and Poe laying there together. And just like that, your evening together was over.

When you eventually get back to your apartment, it’s past midnight and all you want to do is take a shower to get all the dust, dirt, and sweat off of you from that hell of a day you had yesterday. “Maybe I’ll call Professor Solo in the morning, see if he can take over for the day.” You think. After all, shouldn’t he be teaching his own class?

And maybe, if by some miracle your car was ready to be picked up before noon, you could return the favor by driving your boyfriend best friend to work.

You stop yourself in your tracks. God. Did I just think what I thought I did? 

Yeah. After a day like that, your brain had to be at least a little scrambled, right?

At least you didn’t say it out loud. Poe would never stop teasing you about that.

When the two of you got home after midnight, Poe was beyond exhausted. Luckily, he wasn’t scheduled to work until after noon tomorrow. Or, with it being after midnight, would that be today?

Whatever. I just need sleep, Poe thought.

But he couldn’t sleep that night. (Morning? Every time Poe thought about that it made his head hurt.) He was too wrapped up in thinking about the night you just spent stargazing together. Just laying there, talking, sharing space facts and constellation myths.

He just couldn’t get past the relationship the two of you had. No pressure, no one constantly asking when they’d get together already. Just two grad students, hanging out and having a good time together.

Maybe, Poe thought, he could even be glad his car broke down while picking up his girlfriend best friend from work.

Wait, Poe though. Not my girlfriend, my best friend. I’m not ruining our friendship because I had one thought about her that way. Besides, he continued, who knows if she’d even like me that way.

Poe did fall asleep a little while after that, but not before sending in a request to his boss for a sick day. There was no way he’d get enough sleep to go to work tomorrow.

Author Note- I appreciate any comments/likes/reblogs if you would! Also, this is my first fan fiction published on Tumblr, so please be nice (and leave constructive criticism if you have any). I’ll probably also post this to Archive of Our Own at some point, but for now it’s only on Tumblr.

I have to say, I do enjoy writing for my two idiots here. Next chapter/part will be published on 9/10, so come back for that if you like this. And if you really like this, message me to be tagged in the next part.

[fandomtrxsh19]

So, when I read ACOSF, I made kind of play by play notes as a listened to it( I read the audiobook) so.........here’s the chaos

HEAVY SPOILERS FOR ACOSF!!

CASSIAN SAID FUCK

WHOA there’s a LOT of swearing in this

��It’s SEVEN in the morning gods damn it” -nesta archeron

OVERSIZED SHIRTS FOR THE WIN

Feyre and Rhys have 5 houses? Not surprised...

full, inviting breasts......BIG BOOBS OMG CASSIAN YOU HORNY SON OF A BITCH

7 siphons to keep his magic under control? Dayum

So, she rode this unnamed male like a fucking roller coaster?

Depression sex? Depression sex

“Her father was ashes in the wind” DAMN THATS EDGY

“A moment of release among the darkness inside her” NESTA BBY THIS ISNT HEATHY

“She avoided both of them” not surprised

OOOOH RHYS HATES HER TEA IS BEING SPILT

So, depression sex and depression alcohol? Yup

*checks chapter count* 80 CHAPTERS??!?! Oh shit this is gonna be a triiiip

OOOOOOOOO RHYS AND NESTA BEEF

Feyre trying to apologize to nesta........she’s trying

“You’re done, Nesta” The fuuuuuck.....

So, nesta’s moving and training with cassian...........Feyre, this isn’t a good idea omg

Feyre holy shit what the fuck are you doing, you TOTAL HELICOPTER SISTER?

“I never want to speak to you again!” damn

ELAIN TRAUMA!!! Yay???

MOR FOCUSED CHAPTER!!!?

she has brown eyes? Ok

FUCK SHES WEARING A BLUE DRESS FUCK

nesta knows about mor NESTA KNOWS ABOUT MOR!!!

“I am worthless and I am nothing. I hate what I am.” DAYUM I’ve been in that exact mindset numerous times. I can relate, Nesta

Briallen? Who the fuck is that?

Scars being trapped in magic? Good fuck that’s dark

“Ooh a dark skin character? Lit

OH SHIT SHE CANT FLY HER WINGS ARE CLIPPED

Is her name Emery?

“I am the monster your fear” BBY OMG GET THERAPY

Gwyn? Seems a bit aloof

“Two gentle conversations” GOOD JOB

Fairy lights omg lol

Nesta reading smutty books.....I’m imagining this omg

THE HOUSE IS ALIVE? Sweet

OMG ELAIN SHIT!!!! BBY

“All she wanted to do was touch him” OOOOOHHHHH NESSIAN

“All I need is a hot meal and a good book.” Mood

Nesta’s worried about Mor??? REEEEEEE

“Nesta needed Feyre more than she realized.“ OOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOO FAE BARGANS

They’re bound by magic on the body?? Ooh

IT’S TRAINING TIME BITCHES

“I don’t hate you too,Cassian” OMGGGGGG REEEEE

Nesta SMILED

THEY MENTIONED VALKYRIES!!!!!

“You might be my only friend.” HMMMMMMM

*hears how cassian was born * OMG HOLY SHIT CASSIAN

*hears cassians backstory* DAMN THESE CHARACTERS NEED THERAPY

OOP SLIGHT DEPRESSION SEX

OOP CLOTHING REMOVAL

“I’ve loved you since the first moment I held you in my arms.” HMMMMMMMM

I’m loving this Nessian sparring training.

ELAIN! SHES IN THE STORY KIND OF

Elain has small boobs........same

“I thought I would drop by to see how you were doing.” AWWWWWWWWW

Yayy.....awkward sister talks........

“She was the monster.” Nesta.............I can relate.

Nesta’s angry at Elain.............

Elain’s trying to reach out and Nesta’s denying it.

MY HEART

AGAIN...THE👏RA👏PY👏

“No more seeing her sisters without her permisson.” That’s smart.

Soooooooooo......Rhys is now a German Shepard.........?

OMG CASSIAN KILLED EVERYONE THAT HELPED KILL HIS MOM........good for him

“Use that training and make me.” OOOOOOOMGGGGGG

Rhys is overprotective of Feyre and shields her......daaaaaaaaaaaaamn

“What exactly happened in the cauldron?” FEYRE BAD IDEA BAD IDEA BAD IDEA

Again, Nesta, ✨THERAPY✨

Put a stop to what, D-does the IC know of the ✨depression smut?✨

“There was touching, but with her permission” WE 👏STAN 👏A KING👏

THAT ASKS👏FOR👏CON👏SENT👏

“Who do you think I am?” “A drunk fool who’s wasting my time?” OOOOOOOHHHHH SHOOTS FIRED!!!

Emery and Nesta to Emery’s cousin: GO HOME YOUR DRUNK ASSHOLE

*hears Nesta’s grand✨mama✨* me: grandmama, it’s me....ANASTASIA

Bruh...NESTA BIT CASS’S EAR

ugh the tool

“Baby making” hehe lol

“Nesta like gwyn”...............could she also be biiiiiiiii??????????!!!!!! YAY FIRST FRIEND IM PROUD OF YOUUUUU

NESTA SMILES AGAIN YAY!!

Alright, Meryl is BITCH

GWYN’S A QUARTER NYMPH?? Cool

“She’s failed everything.” BBY

HER POWERS? HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT SILVER FLAMES

ICY FIRE??? FUUUUUUUUUCK

Nesta must’ve been petrified being surrounded by fire

It’s a dream? THE FUCK

WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT SHE WAS DREAMING????

Cassian saw HER TRAUMA?????? FUUUUUUCK

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HER POWER IS DEAAAAATHH FUUUUUUCK

THE BABY HAS WIIIIINGS!!!!!!

Why is Rhys angry about the wing thing?

Ohhhhhhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiit the tool

*hearing the possibilities of half Illyrian baby* OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH FUUUUUCK OMG

“I loved it when you fucked my mouth cassian?” GAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH NEEESTAAAAA THIS ISNT HEALTHY

“What could go wrong?” DONT JINX IT

fairy monsters? OHOHOHOOOO

NONONONOOOOOO NOT AN ASH ARROW

BLACK EYES???? Fuck fuck are they in the cauldron?

OMG THE KELPIE IS DOING SHIT TO NESTA!!! Are they on the cauldron?

the MAAAAAAASK

ohOOOOOOOMGOMGOMGOMG SHE SUMMONED THE FUCKING DEAD REEEEEEEEEEE

Omg NESTAS POWERS ARE SO FUCKING COOL

She LITERALLY HAS AN UNDEAD ARMYYYYY

death HERself........badass

“Because you and cassian has been giving each other sultry looks all morning” SHE KNOWS

“For the first time in her life, she finally felt good in her own skin.” GROWTH

Omg Nesta created a swooooord!!!!! Cool

ITS INFUSED WITH MAGIC??? HELL YEAH

“I can’t lie to her!” SIIIIIIIMP

“I’d be careful when fucking her.” Oh amren

FUUUUUUCK FUCK BOOOOOOOOO TAMLIN

“You will not touch us.” YES TELL HIM

“I can’t believe Feyre ever loved tamlin.” ME TOO

“Elain saw everything Nesta did.” Daaaaaaaaamn

OOOOOOOO NESTAS PIIIIIIIISSED

OOOOOOOOOOO SECRETS FEYRE’S PIIIIIIISED

Nesta messed up and I think she realizes that

Rhys is pissed now and wants to kill Nesta....SHIIIIIIIT

Nesta: heads for a tavern me: NONONONONO GODS DAMN IT YOU’VE COME SO FAR

“I will fight for him. For us. Until I can’t anymore.” FEYRE IS GONNA BE A GREAT MOM

“Wishing to disappear into nothing.” I’ve been there.

“Cassian knew Nesta hated herself, but didn’t know how sometimes she wanted to unexist.” I RELATE TO THAT SHIT

“She had been born wrong.” AWWWWW BBY SHIIIIIT

“Was she worth being counted?” I CAN RELATE

*hearing Nesta blaming herself for her fathers death and for the horrible things she’s done, saying she can’t fix it* SHIT IM CRYING (I’m not joking)

“ I deserve nothing.” I CAN RELATE BITCH IM ACTUALLY CRYING

*hears Cassian calmly reassuring and comforting her* AWWWWW I NEED THIS QUOTE

CASSIAN CARES SO MUCH FOR HER I LOVE THIS

(I really needed that cassian talk. I literally wrote most of the quote down just in case. Thank you SJM)

EMERY CAN SENSE THE SEX HOLY SHIT

“After he’d fucked her with her fingers...” O NONONONOOO

*skips to chapter 52*

Lanthis??? Who the fuck is that?

“Gwyn and Emery are my friends” SHES GROWN SO MUCH!!!

26 dimensions? OH THIS IS SOME DOCTOR STRANGE SHIT

IT CANT BE KILLED

cassian and Nesta really went *yeet* .......... I’m sorry

THE SWORDS NAME IS ADORAXIA!!!!!!!!!!!sounds like a dnd character IDEAS

OHOHOHOOOOO BLACK THRONE AND A CROWN DEATH QUEEN NESTA WITH HER HAIR DOOOOOOWN

Rhys vs Cassian standoff *western duel music starts*

NESTA APOLOGIZED FOR EARLIER IM SO PROUD

Did Elain have a vision? DID SHE???

“I want you to seduce him.” NESTA THE HIDDEN BARD ROLL FOR PERSUASION

Mor teaching Nesta the waltz? NESTA AND MOR CAN NOT HATE EACH OTHER

Are they back at their childhood home? Because oooooooooooof ✨ childhood trauma✨

MOR AND NESTA HAVING A CONVERSATION YAY!!!!! (This’ll make rping them so maybe easier)

“We’re in a book!” Holy shit they know. HIDE THE FANFICTION

The relationship between Nesta, Emery, and Gwyn is so wholesome

“Oh FUCK you” .... NESTA

“I was just checking on dessert” MOOD

MOR AND NESTA ARE HAVING A FRIENDLY CONVERSATION

I sense tension between amren and Nesta

ERIS WANTS NESTA????

“I’m not with you.” Lier

A SNOWBALL FIGHT WITH THE BATBOIS??? Holy shit they do have one(1) brain cell

A sleepover with Emery, Nesta, and Gwyn? SIGN ME UP

“Do it for the miniature Pegasus!” INSIDE JOKES

OOOOHHH i see the gwynriel ship

Wait....HER POWERS MADE THE HOUSE BE ALIVE??? Sweet

Alright 2 months til FEYSAND baby

The mating bond between cassian and Nesta?????.............

“Say it, SAY IT” GODS DAMN IT NESTA SAY THE FUCKING THING

So, Nesta’s afraid she’s gonna loose her humanity?

EMERIE NESTA AND GWYN ARE IN THE BLOODRITE? Fuuuuuuuuuck

OH NO EMERIE!!!!!!

“High Fae bitch” PUT THAT ON A SHIRT

OMG OMG OMG HELL YES VALKRIES

oh Cassian you restless bastard you

*hears Emerie’s backstory and their heart to heart* AWWWWWW I LOVE THEM

“The morrigan.” The fuck Eris?

“She’d hit the archway of stone” OOOOOOOOOOF

“For being my friends when I didn’t deserve it.” AWWWWWWWWWW

What about Feyre’s pregnancy???? Hewwo?

“Lord of bastards” heh true that’s cassian alright

Wait, OTHER set of wings

CASSIAN!!!!!!!!!!

“Now, I’m going to slit your little throat.” FUUUUUUUUCK NONONONOOOOO THIS ISNT CASS FUUUUCK

What’s the trove?

NONONONONOOOO WHYD HE GET STABBED SHIT HE GOT STABBED

Nesta’s pissed.....MAGIC TIME

wait wait wait wait wait HES NOT STABBED HELL YEAH!!!!

“You are my mate, Cassian.” ITS ABOUT FUCKING TIME

Nessian: kissing when the world is in ruin

“She started bleeding hours ago. “ BABY TIME???

*hears the blood and feyre’s appearance*!FUUUUUUUUUCK

So, no C section? OOOOOOH SHIT THEYRE DOING IT

IM SCARED IM SCARED IM SCARED

“Silent babe?” Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit

Nesta Nesta Nesta What the fuck are you doing???????? FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

SHE HAS ALL 3! ONONONOOOOOFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOOOOOSHE PLUCKED IT FUCK

SHE STOPPED TIME?????????

WHOS the female voice?

“ I love you, Feyre” SHE DID IT IM SO PROUD!!!!!

What is she doing what is she doing what is she doiiiiingggg?

GIVE WHAT BACK?????

WHAAAAAT? A BARGAIN WITH THE FUCKING CAULDRON???

feyres alive? FEYRE’S ALIVE!!!!!!!

NESTA THE MVP!!!!

*the sister hug* AWWWWWWWWWWW

AWWWWWW I LOVE THE NAME NYX!!!!

How much did the Cauldron take from Nesta, tho?

FEYSAND IS BEST PARENTS

Alright, I want to see LOADS OF WHOLESOME FANFICS AND FANART ABOUT DOMESTIC IC AND ELAIN AND NESTA GOT IT?

[farfanfiction]

Loyalty to the Pack: Part 11

Pairing: John Seed x Joseph Seed x Reader x Jacob Seed

AUs: Omegaverse, werewolves

Warnings: Angst, cursing, some fluff, mentions of suicidal thoughts (please, don’t take these subjects lightly), mentions of death and murder, depression, anxiety, self-harm, drug use, manipulation, hallucinations 

Word Count: 2,781

A/N: Thank you guys so much for 50 followers, I honestly thought I wouldn’t reach that many but you guys pulled it off and I’m so grateful for it! Thank you! And like always, give me some feedback on what I could do better or what I did alright, where you wanna see this whole mess go, or something you just don’t understand. The gif is not mine.  

Masterpost  My Omegaverse Rules

   Your head began to pound as you slowly opened your (e/c) eyes. The haze of the bliss still lingered, swirling around in your head as you tried to make any sense of what happened. The Father was there, you knew that for fucking sure. He made it quite obvious. Jacob, John, and Faith also made an appearance, but also unnamed faces. Their faces were a blur, but they had the body and voice of a pup. It had to be pups, it just had to be. It was the only thing you could tell yourself without freaking out. Maybe a family was possible.

    Yet, there was still something lingering. You killed a guy, how could Joseph forgive you so easily? He loved all his children. God can’t forgive an Omega when she’s killed a member of her own pack. You could feel that time of peace slowly slip away between your fingertips as you thought about that Beta. There it was, your life gone in a mear blink of a damn eye. It was all fucking gone.

   “N)... (Y/N), can you hear me?” It felt like a distant voice was calling out to you, almost whispering in your ear, but yet so far away. You turned your still pounding head around the room and saw a rather hazy figure sitting on a small, steel chair next to your bed. Her face was scrambled, but you could make out bits and pieces. She looked like Anne Marie. “Sometimes, I swear you’re so fucking stupid it’s ridiculous.” Yep, it was definitely Anne Marie.

   There was no doubt about it with that language and the way she looked like a female version of your dad, it was definitely her. Anne leaned in to get a closer look at you and snickered at the dry, flaky mud that covered your face. Judging you as always. She would always yell at you for something growing up, but you knew she did it out of love.

   “I’m only stupid because I take after you.” There it was, the sly remarks. You were starting to be yourself again. The hold John had on you for so long was starting to break, but the claim was still there. You were bonded to him, there was nothing you could do except maybe rival the bond or have another Alpha bond with you as well. That would be utter fucking impossible. John was a stubborn man, like most Alphas. He wouldn’t let his Omega go to just anyone. Yet, he agreed to Joseph’s terms of both of his brothers taking you.

   “Fair point. I saw the other men bring you in, so I thought I might as well get you these before seeing you.” She said it was such love that there was no doubt that she was happy to see you. It was good to get that sense of doubt off your chest. You weren’t some unwanted Omega to her.

   In all honesty, you thought it was nice to see her as well. A familiar face among a lot of assholes. When you left with John, she looked utterly heartbroken. She knew what John actually was, she would’ve tried to convince you to leave if she could. Yet, you didn’t want to believe he was a bad person, to begin with. In the beginning? Yes. Now? Not so much. You had a purpose and that’s all you’ve ever wanted. Something to live for. Just one thing.

   The sound of something scrabbing on wood startled you from your brooding. Anne slid a tall, crystal vase towards you. Water sloshed out of the vase and up the stems of big, pale pink snapdragons. The flowers reminded you of a smile as Anne slid the vase closer and closer to the edge. Their perfumed scent was very present, but there was also something else. Old books, pen ink, and plane fuel. It was bliss.

   You could faintly see innocent, white bliss petals peek out from the pale pink. The snapdragons were being used to hide the bliss. That had to be it. What else would it fucking be? You just looked at the flowers and said nothing. There was nothing to say other than this was happening for a reason. You also spotted something else. Right next to the vase was a slender switchblade.

   “Do not you like them?” She asked as she just stared at you in concern.

   “No, I love them. Thank you.” That’s all you could spit out without having to look at her big (e/c) eyes. The same as yours. If only she knew. If only you could tell her what was happening outside her little bubble. Would she be excited that you were chosen for this great purpose? You envied every minute that flew past her without knowing. That’s all you seemed to be good at. envy and lust.

   “Well, I need to get back to my station. Faith’s waiting outside, she wants to talk to you. I’ll bring her in.” You only nodded and watched as Anne walked to the door. She turned the metal knob to reveal Faith in all her innocent glory. You were like that before John. Hell, not just before John, before everything.

   The Omega held a soft smile on her face as stared at you in the bed. You could see the faintest twinkle in her eye, almost as if she was planning something. Whether she was high or not was up to debate. Faith’s steps were uneasy but still graceful. As an Omega should be and her natural scent of lilacs, coffee, and cigarette smoke was almost gone. It was instead masked by the heavy scent of bliss. So strong it made you want to vomit.

   “I came to see you as quickly as I could. I was worried.” She gave another calm and kind smile as she sat next to you on the chair. You sat up in the bed and just looked at her. Why was she always so calm? This couldn’t possibly be just bliss, there must have been other stuff laced in it to make her that far gone.

   “Why would you be worried, you don’t really know me.” The Omega became nervous as you stared at her. You were slowly, but surely breaking down her walls.

   “I feel like I do. Both John and the Father speak very highly of you. They are absolutely infatuated by you. You’d make a perfect mother.” Her twinkle from before came back as she spoke of her brothers and your’s relationship. You were mated to John, that was true, but not Joseph. Even though your Omega side pleaded with you to accept his offer. You could have two Alphas! TWO!

   “In time, they hope to include Jacob if they can. Wait, hold on, Jacob too? The most stubborn, yet the most handsome brother was willing to mate you? The anxiety that plagued you time and time again tapped at your heart. You rubbed your chest slowly as you looked down. It felt like thousands of tiny daggers stabbing at your heart. It was only getting worse.

   “Why me? I never asked for this. My family was just apart of the pack, nothing else.” You just looked back at her with your (e/c) eyes and you never faltered. She just stared right back, trying to challenge you with her own green eyes. You still couldn’t figure out why you. Even after so many weeks. Maybe this is what could have happened in another setting. A lost Omega without any future or love. Just a pawn in some twisted game of chess. Yet, you still didn't know who’s game. You didn’t know who to believe anymore. The Father, the man who you knew your whole life, your savior, your protector. Or some Deputy playing hero.

   “The Father chose you. More importantly, God chose you. He knows the collapse is coming and who better to lead all of us to paradise than you. The perfect Omega.” You were far from perfect. “ I’m glad to know my future sister’s ok. I don’t even want to think about what would happen if you were hurt in the Bliss.” Yet again, Faith’s spark was gone. Almost as if the mear happiness she tried to pass onto you was physically draining.

   “The Father told me it would be a good idea to get you walking, so I have another Omega that needs help in the kitchens. I volunteered for you. It will be so much fun, trust me!” Her spark was back, yet you could tell it was forced. You knew that feeling. That childlike spark was gone and replaced with something different, wrong.

   Faith stood from her chair and gently brushed your ragged (h/c) hair away with soft hands. The Omega left in the blink of an eye and another appeared in her place. 

   Another Omega from what you could tell. She looked like the typical Omega stereotype. Short and with heavily feminine features. She was definitely a true submissive from her body language to her appearance. You knew you were the black sheep, you weren’t a traditional Omega.

   “Faith asked me to come and get you. You’ll help me serve lunch today in the mess hall.” Even her voice was soft and delicate. Everything that you weren’t, why wasn’t she chosen to be the mother instead of you?

   You slowly got up from the bed and watched as the Omega stared at you intently. She was like a protective mother to a frail pup. It reminded you of your own mother in a way.

    You even tried to look presentable for everyone when you combed your finger dirty fingers through your hair. Your rubbed your (e/c) eyes and borrowed clothes and walked out with her. You’ve never really seen any of the other Heralds’ bunkers before. Only John’s, but they were no different.

   The Omega, April you learned, lead you to the mess hall just down the hall. As she turned to open the swing doors you finally took notice to the unknown elephant in the room. Her stomach was practically bulging. She was pregnant with a pup, or pups by the looks of it. At that moment, your chest began to constrict and it became difficult to suck air into your lungs. Tears welled up in your eyes as you watched her stomach rise and fall with each breath. There was life in there.

   It was as if God was taunting you. You could never truly have this. Maybe what Joseph was saying was a complete lie. The Bliss has been know to show you what you want, not what’s actually happening. 

   In the blink of an eye. The insecurities from before began to tumble in like storm clouds once again. Loaming overhead, but never being able to see the whole thing. You turned away from her and just followed. Your eyes focused on the steel flooring. Don’t do anything, (Y/N), you won’t like the results. Your own Omega was even agreeing. You just hoped John could feel your pain. He deserved it.

   “Alright, now that we have you settled it’s time for you to get to work.” April dug through a drawer until she found a long white apron for you. It was tacky with the Project at Eden’s Gate cross stamped right on the front. If only you weren’t a member of this pack. Fuck… you wished you weren’t even a werewolf right about now. Your sin was practically dripping off you and she could definitely smell it. Envy was a potent drug. It made you feel good blaming some else for your problems.

   April looked at you and smiled, a mother’s smile in particular. “Here, why don’t you get started on serving.” The Omega handed you some tongs and directed you to the already long line. You only let out a small growl as you stood next to the other Omegas and Betas serving the pack.

   It felt like hours of just serving pieces of southern fried chicken before anything really happen. Just numerous ‘do you want chicken’ or ‘I’m sorry sir, but that’s considered gluttony. That’s a sin.’ You were starting to sound like John and it made you sick to the stomach. From either anger or lonliness, you couldn’t quite tell.

   Finally, only a single Alpha was left inline. He smelled mated to you and was wide and strong as an ox, maybe even bigger than Jacob if that was suprising. Not wanting to get your head crushed, you gave him a few extra pieces of chicken. You even showed off your claim mark for good measure. Omegas were submissive, that was their purpose.

   But, nonetheless, the Alpha only smiled at you with the same kindness as April. Wait a minute. She kind of smelled like him too. There was no way this hulking Alpha could possibly be little April’s mate. That poor girl and the big ass pups she’s gonna have to push out. 

   Even at the sight of him, it made you jealous. Why couldn’t you have that? Where was John to give you looks like that or even ask how you were. Even with the bond and his constant mood swings, deep down inside of your very soul, you loved him. It was locked away by pure doubt about what other people had that you could pay attention of what was infront of you.

    You had John Seed. You had Joseph Seed. Hell, you might even have Jacob Seed. What was their to be envious about?

   You don’t even recall what happened after that. It felt like everything in your mind was splitting apart atom by atom and nothing made sense. First, it was a blind rage, then green jealousy, then passionate love for John and possibly Joseph. Yet, when you got to your room, you forgot about that. Only saddness clouded your mind. What did you do to deserve this type of punishment? Was all that pain really worth it?

   You just sat in your seat and blocked out the world. You stared aimlessly at the withering bouquet of snapdragons and bliss. Next to it, the shining blade of the open switchblade. That was it. That was the solution. It was as if you only wanted one thing, release. To have control over something without your Omega or werewolf instincts getting in the way.

   You picked up the blade and gently ran over the edge with your thumb. You felt absolute pleasure as it broke your delicate (s/c) skin and red blood dripped down your thumb. The pleasure felt addicting as you ran it slowly over your palm over and over again until the blood ran down your arm in light streams. The dizziness only added to the excitement of finally being incontrol of your pain.

   It felt like you were seeing green at that point. Like you were in the Bliss. That might have been true, pollen from the bliss flower could have gotten into your blood stream by now, but you didn’t care. You put the blade down and turned to the flowers. You plucked one from the bouquet and took a good sniff. John… That’s all you could smell.

   “Go to Tracey. Bring my Alpha back to me.” It was almost as if John’s voice appeared out of nowhere. It was rough and seductive as it practically whispered in your ear, but all your thoughts turned to only John. If he wanted you to bring Tracey to Faith, you would do it. You loved him.

[artcanary]

1-50

oh my god dude 

im gonna put this under a cut bc this is a lot. this is a ride, have fun i guess

1. Your first OC ever?god. its got to be Super Kitty. when i was like … an incredibly small child I used to draw comic strips about this feline caped crusader, who was friends with everyone in the city, and the comics always involved him stopping an evil banana man from stealing money from the local bank. He was paid with donuts for his service to the city. i still remember how to draw him. 

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?i’d get arrested if I didn’t answer this with Bronze, probably… but really, they’re very important to me

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?man, i cant remember! i really dont think i have… P:

4. A character you rarely talk about?there’s loads of characters ive never even posted a single picture of on tumblr, i wouldnt even know where to start asdf

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be? bronze is the easy answer, but… i guess that could also go to Servant or Westrin. Servant has a comic project in the works that basically stars him, sort of a series of one-shots about the things he’s experienced, i feel like that would be a good thing to take off and run with. Westrin’s just fun as hell, i love the guy.

6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?real talk now… there’s at least five different characters that i refer to as a whole as “bronze-tangential”, who started out as, “what would bronze be like if they were in this world?” and then becoming their own thing within said world because i just get stupid attached 

its an epidemic

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?nearly all of them, actually. that’s the main reason i make characters, after all! too many to really go into specifics here, again P: 

8. Do you RP as any of your OCs? If you do, introduce one of your RP OCs here!not often, but i think Bronze and Westrin are the most common ones. unless playing a character in dnd, or running an npc in dnd counts… then a whole lot more hahaha

9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?it depends on the circumstances. i don’t really like the idea, though. 

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design? Westrin’s old getup is a pain to draw, and there was one other design i did that I cant find anywhere… whichever way, i dont often tend to draw super complicated things often 

a couple fakemon ive designed though… heheh those can get pretty finicky

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”? hmmmmmmmm my immediate thought was Eric Silverdale from a comic i was working on a few years ago. hes a darling, i want him to be my friend irl

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lothow could you do this to me i love each and every one of all my friends ocs GOD the first one who comes to mind is @d20-official‘s Smith, whos Bronze’s friend… everyone in that DND party actually

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs? Rated on a scale from “harmless” to “honestly somewhat frightening”: -Baromet (charming and quite friendly but definitely a kleptomaniac),-Westrin (demigod of bards and travelers), -XEN09 (a nonsense hacker), -Conny (needlessly contrarian and dumb as HELL), -Enza Colie (long fucking story but hes a good-for-nothing), -Hemlocke (mad scientist, chaotic evil), -Iris (AI and hacker, VERY bad), -The Terminus (glitch-in-the-matrix demon, chaotic evil), -and Sydd (the Queen of the Faeries, hopefully the danger there needs no explaining :’D)

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory Mmm… there’s a few of them, most obviously Lent (whose background I did a short comic about). Basically his entire town got eaten by ghosts and turned into zombies, he only barely survived with a sliver of his soul left. 

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?yes, i often discuss storylines and such with friends

16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)? Probably Bronze’s dad! I don’t talk about him much, but his name’s Devon Reed, and he was a biotech developer specialising in android design. 

I often describe him as being something of a reverse Arthur Weasley - a very fatherly scientist fascinated to the moon and back with the concept of magic. 

17. Any OC OTPs? having trouble thinking of a lot of them right now, but there’s Eric + Lent & Naiadine + Tailias from Emerald Sigil, Avken + Baromet from my space campaign world, Sydd + Wyvv from my unnamed campaign world, and I’ve been considering Westrin + Servant as an interesting dynamic in Servant��s story

18. Any OC crackships? My character Bismuth and @autistictimeknight​‘s oc Eros. Theyre so fucking in love, I love it. Its been awhile but I do still think about them sometimes.

As I recall, Eros is an empath, she can read other people’s emotions. But Bismuth is a robot, and Eros can’t read her. Because of this Eros can let go of her fear of unintentionally manipulating the emotions of her date, which would hold her back from most other relationships. 

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)Hey, meet Bronze! I definitely do not talk about them every five minutes, why would you say that. 

Bronze was with me through two of the hardest years of my life so far, and being a DND character they grew with me, both as a fighter and as a person. They were non-binary before I started using those pronouns, they were the first character or person or anything who I fought someone about using the right pronouns for, they make a great icebreaker for if I want to see how someone reacts to non-binary pronouns … 

One funny anecdote about Bronze is that when I first made them, their “gimmick” was that they would sometimes glitch out and mess up their speech, mostly because I wanted an excuse not to engage in the roleplaying (which I was very bad at). The interesting thing is that as I got better at interacting with the group, we both grew out of needing it very quickly. 

I’m very proud of Bronze. 

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?Westrin is a bard! His singing voice sounds like Bill Wurtz and these are his theme songs.

21. Your most artistic OCProbably Westrin again, he writes a lot of songs… and Hallux is a game designer?

22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how? I honestly dont know… no-one talks to me about them, haha! 

people use all manner of pronouns for bronze, though. 

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?I’m gonna go with Enza for this one. Enza Colie was originally written entirely because I wanted an antagonist for a short starring his sister, Jane Colie. But the more I fleshed out his reasonings for acting how he did and explored his character, the more I realised he’d make an even more interesting character if allowed to have a redemption arc, too. 

I just want to state for the record that I was very reluctant to the idea, and he basically dragged his way out of the villain pit entirely of his own accord. I am dubiously proud of him, and also a bit scared. 

24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?Probably either Eric (Big Man, Best Friend), Crocus (Mother figure), Reed (Father Figure), Westrin (hed just make a good friend u kno??), or Bismuth (she makes good conversation!)

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)probably the homestuck fan-troll Hallux, but that’s mostly because they were based on a troll-sona I made awhile ago. They’re a hope/prospit game designer who is small and full of rage and love

oh, and there’s dave! dave’s a superhero speedster, existing in a modern-day superhero version of seattle. theyre idiot, just like me,

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will? this is an interesting one… i don’t think ive ever had something Bad in a design ive done called to my attention by someone, but I did create my character Servant at around the same time I was first really expanding the diversity of my casts. (since i don’t talk about him often, a little context: he’s a magic spirit creature bound to human form to serve the royal family of the land and follow their orders.) 

somehow, younger-and-more-stupid me managed to have the revelation that making this “eternal slave” character literally anything other than a white man, especially as a white author, would be Pretty Not Good. im … thats really, really not something i should pat myself on the back for, but i do consider it one of the biggest bullets dodged in my artistic career so far that i realised that not all representation is good representation so quickly, before i could make that incredibly, incurably stupid mistake. 

after that, trying to make sure my characters and their presentations don’t harm anyone pretty much has become a paranoia. i don’t seem to have stepped on any toes yet, but when it inevitably happens, please let me know - i didnt know, and i want to fix it! 

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song? None that I can think of, actually! I don’t really do that often. 

28. Your most dangerous OC? god damn it i have no idea!!! is it the terminus? glitch in the matrix god of chaos motherfucker?is it sarle? terrifying calculating scientist with the power of the soul at her fingertips ??? is it ares??? is it athena????? is it petra?????? the gatekeeper???? 

… actually, the gatekeeper might be it, if “dangerous” just refers to “the amount of raw power it can wield”. the Gatekeeper is a titanic entity that exists in interdimensional multiverse space, and its implied to have the ability to create and destroy entire universe bubbles at will. for what cosmic purpose, no-one knows. 

at a more personal scale, though, literally all of the aforementioned characters are pretty bad to run into too. 

29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?god. Mina or Tawn. Tawn is the Indiana Jonesy type and probably dumb enough, but also competent enough not to get into too much trouble there. Mina would probably drag her friends along. 

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection? XEN09. No-one knows, because no-one knows xir personal identity. Xe absolutely does, though. It’s less of a secret if you know xir in person, but good luck finding out about it otherwise. 

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)dave just reblogs memes all the time tbh. they like to keep tabs on the ridiculous superhero news going on, and they show human jokes and cat videos to their alien gf. they dont really post or add to posts, but they talk in tags a lot. 

32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why? i want to say tawn because i literally just realised ive been imagining their voice as sounding like luigi this entire fucking time and i never realised until this exact instant

33. Your shyest OC?probably baromet. they prefer to keep to themself in their hideout, with their collection of shiny things. they don’t really enjoy trying to communicate much, mostly because they expect to get yelled at. 

34. Do you have any twin characters?Yes! At least two sets; 

- Crocus and Sarle. (x) (x) They don’t exactly have a very well-developed relationship, but they are both quite important to the plot of my campaign world, and they are both very interesting. Crocus is a motherly figure who just exudes friendliness, while Sarle is .. very much not that, a researcher studying very gruesome things and pushing the boundaries of reality. 

- Jane and Enza Colie. I haven’t talked a whole lot about either of them here, but I’d rather leave their story to do the talking whenever I get around to it. Essentially, the both of them were intended to do the dirty work for their crime boss family, but Jane ditched to study medicine. Most of the conflict between the two of them comes out of Enza not understanding why she made the choice she did, and coming to understand how he’s been manipulated. 

35. Any sibling characters? I can’t really think of any off the top of my head, I should … I should really work on that. 

I can talk about Westrin, though. Westrin (a demigod of many things, but namely bards, travel, travelers, and people who are lost) often becomes close friends with mortals, sometimes practically adopting them. These people who consider him family, and people who have received his blessing, are able to use his surname, Brilanta, as their own if they choose. So I guess all of the Brilantas are siblings, at least in spirit. 

Oh, and XEN09 has like, seven siblings. Xe is the second-oldest, and least remarkable. 

36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)? I already talked about Eros and Bismuth up there a ways in question 18, but I’ll talk about another relationship here. @autistictimeknight​‘s character, Nova the Alchemist, is mentor and adopted parental figure to my character Munna. Munna … Munna isn’t a very good apprentice. She tries very hard. 

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human That’s most of them, I’m not quite sure what to say here. Bronze is an android? Bronze again? Westrin? All the aliens ?? 

38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer? man. uh. westrin or jean. or perhaps valencia. 

39. Introduce any character you want ??? uhhhHHHhhHHH Lord Brillium is the reigning deity of the Cloud Kingdoms in the other campaign setting I’m working on. They represent light and the quest for knowledge, and spend most of their days in the Cathedral Observatory watching the stars. 

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!one time bronze flew a hover-bike through the stained glass window in a cathedral blaring all star by smash mouth on their iguana

also one time bronze rickrolled a rakshasa demon and then pulled updog on it like, two minutes later

another time bronze scared off an entire army by pretending to be an automated security system 

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)ive got a whole little folder on here from all you blessed people !!!! right now ive got a drawing quinn did of one o fmy characters as my lockscreen

but i think the one i’ll really never ever get over is this piece of Jane, by @rabendraws​ / @owoltron​: 

(i bet you thought i forgot about this, dude. dude. think again.) 

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods? this is kind of a weird question, m, I feel like Bismuth would find learning about the mythos utterly fascinating, as would Tawn. 

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confesshaha. uh. i might. 

aside from the entire “bronze-tangential characters” thing i mentioned awhile back, I tend to really like designing characters with hair color lighter than their skin color. it just looks so cool man. i love drawing freckles but dont put them on enough characters. i like really curly hair, but also really long and flowy hair. i like drawing triangular body types, and pointy/prominent noses. 

44. Something you like about your OCs in generaluhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this is a really vague question. m. m. 

45. A character you no longer use?there’s old versions of characters, but a lot of my older ones have been somehow repurposed. I guess there’s Turien, my first-ever DND character, who’s just kind of sitting dead now. Haven’t really done anything with him other than a pretty recent tangential character. 

46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?Not that I can think of.

47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child? Im certain it’s happened, but I can’t remember any specific instances. 

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pureSpring. spring knows nothing of th dangers of the world who is letting them into fights someon eneeds to stop this

(spring roll, hehe.) 

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memesim not sure what this question is asking since many of my ocs actively enjoy memes including but not limited to westrin, dave, bronze, xen09, iris, and doctor archersen

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you wanti think. i think im going to pass on this one. i gave you the good old oc talk. your damn turn, yall: 

if you have any questions about any of these guys feel free to shoot one at me!

thats all from me im tired and its one am. techskylander you absolute madman 

[shipinthewoods]

Dog Chocolate and Ravioli Me Away Ask Each Other Questions -- Is ecstatic existential distress a thing? If so, can it be a good thing? For me, that’s the thing, or perhaps sentiment or spectrum, that best describes the music of both Dog Chocolate (DC) and Ravioli Me Away (RMA). I suspect spectrum is the best way to describe it, with DC maybe falling somewhere closer to “Oh my God, what is happening? What is this life even?” and RMA edging nearer to wherever an acceptance of our inherent ephemerality might lie. I know for certain that in both cases ecstasy [Not the drug. - Ed.] is involved--in abundance--and a certain exuberance rarely exhibited by rock bands these days, no matter how terrifically bent. The other thing I know for certain is both groups released fantastic LPs in 2016, each ranking among the year’s best.

When I first heard Dog Chocolate’s Snack Fans, it clicked immediately. Taking an erratic, DIY approach, DC chuck 40 years of rock history in a blender, blitz it up, and spill it all over a cigarette-burnt lino floor. I resolved to interview them, and questions were sent, but for whatever reason, it never happened. It became another sort of “thing.” You know, when something stretches out for so long that you just know it’s never actually going to happen? One of those things. An amiable thing, but a thing nonetheless.

Many months later, Ravioli Me Away released Living is a Myth. It hit me just as hard as Snack Fans, stirring many of the same feelings, although sonically, it’s very much its own animal--an art-damaged Godzilla stomper. I knew the groups had released a split LP, and thinking back to my abortive attempt at an interview earlier in the year, I thought, “Perhaps they’d be comfortable interviewing each other (for public consumption)?” They were! A WeChat was scheduled, and some months after that an e-mail appeared on my screen, subject: “Fwd: the whole thing.” Rarely have I been as entertained by anything in my inbox.  So, without further preamble, here it is: the whole thing. --

I. DC QUESTIONS RMA Q. Andrew (DC): What can you tell us about making the choice to wear, like, proper get-ups? In other bands, we used to make headgear out of teddies, wear sequin dresses tucked into shorts, face paint, silver foil, but now D.C. is a proper t-shirt band, and you guys have largely gone the other way right? A. Sian (RMA): The way we present ourselves on stage is an extension of how we explore the themes in our music--largely a political / comical investigation of the absurd things in life. Q. Rob (DC): Last time I saw Ravioli play, you had a video of the daytime, fix-up-a-car-and-flog-it-to-some-mug TV program Wheeler Dealers playing on a screen behind you. While this was playing and you were singing "don't be scared because we're constantly dying," it instilled in me an unnameable existential unease. When the capitalistic, boring absurdity of everyday life meets a reminder of your own mortality, something really interesting happens. These clever moments feel very knowingly constructed and very "Ravioli". It's quite clear that as band you have a philosophy or at the very least a very particular shared sense of humor. But I was wondering if you ever made some form of manifesto to this end, or if you trade cultural references, make lists, or if you perform any kind of rituals? How did this very particular "Ravioliness" come about? A. Alice (RMA): Great question, Rob, and funny you should ask. We haven't ever spoken about this in public, but we have been discussing something we call the Raviphilosophivision (RPV) over the past year. Much of our ideas tend to emerge from political, philosophical, and often nonsensical discussions, thoughts, and shared experiences. I think we would agree that we have similar views, humor, and way of looking at the world. So, RPV is an evolving and slow development that's come about though observations and shared anxieties about freedom, authoritative roles, social norms, and exploring the idea of conventionalism as something exotic. Something we have also been thinking and writing about a lot in the last year is the theory that every moment is simultaneously “being born and dying” at the same time, and that once this can be realized life can be really lived. “Living is a Myth”--the song you're talking about--we think describes it best: I’m nostalgic for now, I travelled far ahead I’m looking back with great affection at this moment. I could have waited 20 years or more to feel the joy that I felt before. I read the lips on the mouths that swore… The future marched through an open door Although, having said all that about “similar views,” and, as you put it, being “very Ravioli,” I'd say we’re quite different from one another with a very different set of cultural references--I'd probably go as far as saying we are fascinated by each other. We find each other highly entertaining, and take great pleasure in testing each other musically and mentally.   Q. Andrew: The only thing we have to show for our attempt at answering Bernie's original questions is this playlist, he asked us to pick out some antecedents, seeing as we were getting all sorts of crazy comparisons when people reviewed Snack Fans. We went for particular songs that we feel have a whiff of what we go for/ what has added to the spirit of DC.

Would you guys make a playlist too? And who do you get likened to that you really don't get? A. Rosie (RMA): OK LADS, SO HERE IS OUR PLAYLIST. IT IS A MIX OF STUFF WE WANT TO SOUND LIKE, STUFF WE THINK WE END UP SOUNDING LIKE, AND STUFF WE  LISTEN TO IN THE RAVIOLIMOBILE.

YES INDEED, WE GET VERY MIFFED OFF WITH BAD AND LAZY COMPARISONS, TOO. I THINK OUR MAIN PROBLEM IS PEOPLE JUST THINKING UP THE FIRST GIRL BAND OFF THE TOP OF THEIR LITTLE HEADS AND SAYING WE SOUND LIKE THEM. I.E., WE HAVE BEEN COMPARED TO THE SLITS MULTIPLE TIMES. HOWEVER, WE SOUND NOTHING LIKE THEM! Q. Matthew (DC): The DC songwriting approach comes from several sources. Sometimes one of us will have a full song worked out and bring it in. Sometimes, we bring in an idea of some music, or we mess around and Andrew adds lyrics. Sometimes, Andrew brings lyrics and we try to interpret his ideas. What is / are your approach/es? A. Alice: Well, we walk into the practice room. We set our instruments up, and as we are doing this, we have a bit of a chit-chat that runs on a bit too long about what we have been up to, current feelings about things, conversations had, any funny things we have overhead or seen, current affairs, love stories, dreams. Sometimes, it will turn into a bit of role-play. (Sian and I might play "Louanne," where we are two old friends from Texas called Louanne that have a love / hate relationship, having a loud and hysterical conversation about packing the car or something. Rosie can't take it, and has to get us out of character.) By this time, we will only have about half of our practice time left in the room, so one of us will be like, "Oh, we better start doing some music now, we're paying by the hour for this chit-chat!" And we're all like, "Oh yeah, shit, HAHAHA!" And then we'll all start playing, making stuff up--maybe Rosie will start with a base line that's ridiculously complicated and difficult to play keyboard to, but I'll try to make a tune up to it on my keyboard nevertheless, and then she'll strip it down a little bit, and then Sian will add a drum beat to it and start singing any old nonsense words to it to get a melody, and then they will turn into real words that have come out of our chit-chat from earlier on, and I'll add some backing vocal / talking bit in response to this, and we'll all laugh and Rosie will be like, "OMG, hang on let me record this!" And we'll talk some more about what it's about, and all get our smart phones out and record it so we don't forget. Then, we'll carry on and it will have changed a bit because in that time we would have already forgotten things, but we carry on and on anyway until one of us says, "Oh no, we have two minutes left!" Then, we all leave and get on with our lives until the next practice where this happens all over again, apart from this time we start playing some improv jazz, and half way through someone will say, "Hang on, what were we playing last time?" And me and Rosie get our smart phones out, and try to find the track so we can listen to what we did last time and try to remember how to play it. Meanwhile, Sian will pull out a family pack of prawn crackers and a crinkled bit of A4 lined paper from her bag with some magically developed verses that go with it. Q. Matthew: Are you up for instrument swapping, or do you rigidly stick to the same instruments as a rule? Are there any Ravioli "rules?” A. Rosie: RIGHT, OK, SO WHEN WE DID OUR ALBUM RELEASE FOR OUR DEBUT ALBUM THE INEVITABLE ALBUM, WE DECIDED NOT TO PLAY ANY OF THE SONGS OFF THE ALBUM AND SWAPPED INSTRUMENTS AND ALSO DECIDED TO INVENT A NEW KIND OF MUSIC. THIS WAS SHIT AND WE WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN. Q. Jono (DC): what would be your fantasy gig venue / location? A. Sian: I think for me it would have to be the Cinderella castle in Disney World--would quite like to have Living is a Myth funneled out of there at ear drum bursting volume during the fireworks with Donald Duck and Minnie Mouse as backing dancers. Mind you, all the best shows I think we've played have been where the audience has been completely disinterested. So maybe the House of Commons or the Harlequin Shopping Centre in Watford. We'd probably play the gig of a lifetime in there. Q. Rob: Which brand could convince Ravioli Me Away to enter into a sponsorship or corporate endorsement deal? A. Sian: Werther’s Original. Q. Rob: How do you feel about competitiveness in music or art? A. Sian: This is relevant to the question you asked, I guess, as I think the secret to RMA’s creative progress and general well being / happiness is being supportive of each other and working as a team. There isn't much room for competitiveness, although we are all very opinionated and keen to make our personal stamp on whatever we make, so we have some healthy debates about what makes it into the set or onto a record. I think we are competitive with ourselves as a whole, i.e., we are more and more ambitious about what we want to do, but this doesn't really relate to anyone else, and I don't think we are interested in competing with any other musicians or artists, as we are so inwardly focused that we don't even notice what anyone else is doing half the time! We do like to collaborate with other people doing interesting things, though. -- II. RMA QUESTIONS DC Q. Sian: Who's Lennon and who's McCartney and why? A. Jono: i think Rob could probably ghostwrite something for McCartney (or the replacement?) if Rob wanted some extra cash. Rob: I think we're more Monkees than Beatles, but if we had to be Beatles, then I'd imagine us on the Beatle-cynicism scale. Andrew has the most optimism, so he is Paul. Jono--next optimistic, plus a little bit magical, so he is George. I'm Ringo by default unfortunately, and Matthew is John cos he is most cynical. I have often thought about us as a "boy-band" in the classic sense, but we're probably closer to bands like 911, EYC, or maybe Blue.   Q. Alice: Since we're on the subject of questioning mortality, similarity, and difference; in your song "Everyday Is the End of the World for Someone," you say, "I have a hard time thinking about death," and then go on to ending the song, repeating the lyric "Death is not the end of your world" several times. What does this mean, and would you say this almost holds the opposite sentiment to our song “Living is a Myth?" A. Andrew: On "Everyday," me, Matthew, and Rob all sing bits. Rob and I wrote our words based on the theme of Matthew's chorus, which is basically, “People die everyday, you could frickin’ die today, try to make the most of each day, and here's a list of possible crazy ways you could die!” The lyrics as a whole do end up as a bit of a discussion, rather than a united point of view. The first bit you mention is Rob's, the bit at the end is mine. Death is not the end of your world--what you create here, physical or not, the world around you as an entity, will live on, people will still experience "your world" when you go. The other line I repeat is “Life isn't just for the end of your week.” It just freaks me out that people "live for the weekend," but we all find it hard to really live in each moment. It's important to try, I reck. Matthew: The whole concept of the song came about from the hysteria that surrounded the Mayan calendar ending in 2012, with a lot of people misreporting it as a prediction of the end of the world. It got me thinking about how every day someone dies, so in effect their world ends. But it's not the end of the world itself, and a lot of people won't be affected (depending on who it is). It's basically saying, “Let's make the most of the time we have because it could all be over any minute in any number of ridiculous ways.” Not being fully confident lyrically, I asked Andrew and Rob for verses to fill in the gaps. Rob: As Andrew says, the song is a discussion between the three of us. We're not exactly disagreeing, but my verse is trying to challenge some of the points that are made earlier in the song, especially the idea of living positively in the moment--the full line is, "I just strive towards acceptance of future and past, but that's near impossible, it's difficult at best, I have a hard time thinking about death.” Now I'm wondering if I'm John and Matthew is George on the Beatle-cynicism scale. I'm fully into the the idea of "be here now" and "beginners mind" type things, but I find it really hard to implement on a day-to-day basis. In that respect (if I'm understanding correctly), I don't think "Everyday” is necessarily the opposite sentiment of “Living is a Myth” but it's not really saying the same thing either. I love the idea of each moment being born and dying at the same time, and I don't think it is so far away from some of the sentiments in our song. Q. Rosie: A COMMENT UNDERNEATH YOUR “PLASTIC CANOE” VIDEO ON YOUTUBE SAID, “I DON’T KNOW WHICH OF THESE GOONS I WANNA FRENCH FIRST.” WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS MEANS? I THINK IT MEANS THEY WANT TO SNOG YOU. HAVE YOU HAD ANY OTHER “PROBLEM FANS?” A. Jono: yeah, i think that person is talking about how they would like a bit more time to decide which one of us they would like to kiss (using their mouth and tongue). i'm pretty sure the person who wrote that is responding to a comment on a website called Brooklyn Vegan. there was a little article there to let whoever know that the Snack Fans LP was coming out. in the comments section someone said: Hm. Not quite sure which one of these goons i want to kick in the face the most. Hm so, i think that's about as problematic as it's been for us, so far. i don't recall any real problems. i think it's a problem when there is no electric fan in the practice room. Q. Sian: If you could play a painting, which one would it be? A. Jono: er.... i like some of the paintings that Chris Martin is making these days. not Chris Martin from Coldplay, another one. maybe this?

[Chris Martin image from Hyperallergic. - Ed.] it's not necessarily my favorite painting, but you know, it says “rock” or something with the death figure. but it has a nice bright border, so it doesn't get too maudlin. i don't think that person there is part of the piece. Rob: It'd be good to play at this happening scene painted by Liz Arnold. Is it a festival?

​Or somewhere busy like in a Bosch or Breugal or Where’s Wally?. I would like to play to animals or mythical creatures. Andrew: Rob, the Q was about playing a painting, not IN a painting, m8. I'd be well up for playing in a Where's Wally?, though. Probs this one. I used to love this so much, especially the whiff vapors!

To answer Sian's Q, though, I'm having a really hard time picking just one painting by Misaki Kawai, but def one or all of these:

Q. Rosie: WORST LYRICS EVER PLEASE. A. Matthew: There are so many to choose from, but I don't really want to defame anyone or start any beef. We often come into the practice space we hire and find some quite terrible lyrics scrawled onto the whiteboards. One time Rob and I arrived early (there's usually one of us who'll be half an hour plus late, and who this is varies week to week), and wrote some made up lyrics to see if Andrew and Jono would think it was real. I can't remember what those lyrics were, but they were very 80s power rock. Full of clichés about knights, maybe wind, and "woah woah yeah" type stuff. Rob: I just looked at a few lists on the internet of "worst lyrics of all time" and I was a bit disappointed. I think the Des'ree lyrics about having a piece of toast and the ABC ones about apple crumble are really FUN! Not bad! There are so many pompous, "profound," "epic" lyrics to lambast that are much worse than that. You know the kind of thing I mean. Like that song by The Killers, that "Are we human or are we dancers?" song, which I find baffling and upsetting. Jono: 'the worst lyrics ever' became a big question for me. for instance, the worst lyrics i've heard recently are: Enemies of freedom face the music, c'mon boys, take them down President Donald Trump knows how to make America great Deal from strength or get crushed every time  the worst lyrics must be those that try to encourage hate, division and intolerance. Andrew: Here are the full Matthew and Rob penned Rock Lyrics:  Ooh, Yeah Like a vagabond Like a stripe of light, baby yeah! You're a wild horse I'm a dark knight Gonna take ya baby, wooah wooah yeah! Light a flame for me Come and set me free No holding back tonight! It's got the triple threat of lazy metaphor, aggressive sleaze, and predictable rhyming couplets delivered as if they're some puzzle never before worked out. Lyrics are shitty more often than not, right?  "Grab somebody sexy, tell ‘em hey. Give me everything tonight." Oh my God, I didn't even know that was Pitbull. He's the worst at lyrics and just everything. Also, “Rock DJ” by Robbie Williams. Q. Alice: What is Dog Chocolate’s ultimate ambition? A. Matthew: I don't know about the ultimate ambition, but Andrew says he wants to make a song called "Fun Is Always Brilliant" that gets into the Top 40 this year. We haven't written that one yet. Other than that, I think an interview with Nardwuar would be a cool thing. I also would like to make a “choose your own adventure” album with a book that goes with it, but I think we have other things on the boil before we'll ever entertain doing that. We're all pretty laid back about things, though, and if one of us doesn't want to do something, then that's OK. Keepin’ the atmosphere good. I think that's important. Jono: as for ultimate ambition for dog chocolate, i can only speak for one quarter of the band, and i don't want to sound smug, but i just feel chuffed to be in the band. it's always been a pleasure, so: to keep going until we stop?  also: to have a dog as a manager. they wouldn't necessarily have to fulfill any administrative obligations, just be there for us--someone to listen to our thoughts. (any applications will be gratefully accepted.) Andrew: Well, me and Rob found Snack Fans in a bargain bin the other day--that's always been an ambition for me! Other than that, just to, like, always be excited! Something specific: I'd love to do a tour, playing in bedrooms, to lovely people and animals who know how to go really bonkers in a bedroom but without damaging anything. And we would all get extra paid holiday time from our jobs to do this tour, so we could still go away with our girlfriends and be in nature. Q. Rosie: WHEN DID YOU LAST FIND YOURSELF IN A SPIRITUAL EMERGENCY? A. Matthew: A spiritual emergency? I'm not sure I have ever had one. I guess to have had one you would have to believe in something "other" and I don't really. Is this the John Lennon bit in me Rob was talking about? But then, John always seemed quite a spiritual type of guy to me, what with the robes and stuff, but maybe they were just his pajamas. To be honest, I'm still in a crisis about the Beatles question. Does this now count as a spiritual emergency? Rob: I have had two major spiritual cataclysms in my life. The last one was about 3 years ago. Not fun at all, but brought me a more rounded and richer (but ultimately limited) understanding of myself and life on earth. See "I have a hard time thinking about death," etc.   Jono: listening to Living is a Myth. Q. Alice: What's the worst / most annoying interview question to be asked? A. Jono: i remember Dennis Pennis asking Steve Martin, “How come you're not funny anymore?”  Andrew: I think that being pushed to over explain stuff can be bad, but I also think that if I didn't like a question, I'd try to make it work better for me, rather than give an answer I felt weird about. I remember watching a bunch of Bjork interviews, and she seems to have a great way of getting the most out of whatever (boring / dodgy / difficult) question gets put to her. It's like, usually, the person asking questions actually just wants some interesting answers, that show something we didn't know, and there's more than one way of providing that (if that's what you wanna do). -- Snack Fans and Living is a Myth are available from Upset The Rhythm. -- Bernie Brooks is Ship’s editor-at-large and blog jammer. *Everything* he writes or compiles or otherwise makes–or has *ever* written, compiled, or otherwise made–for A Ship In The Woods is editorial content, and as such reflects his opinion alone, not necessarily that of Ship as an organization. Actually, this applies to all the content on look.shipinthewoods.com, regardless of who wrote or said it. Emails go here: bernie [at] shipinthewoods [dot] com -- Image designed by Dr. KGB using promo photos from the bands.