#-{{ this glitch has made trying to complete They Who Returned on a new save literal hell lmao }}-

[corrupted-starcharts]

》 My crew keeps falling into the floor...

[fandom-necromancer]

A little distraction Part 3

This was prompted by @rufina72 as well as two anons and at least one AO3 user. I have to admit I lost track on AO3 because apparently people really enjoy this story line XD Hope you do to!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900, Hannor/Hancon Part 1 link not available   [Part2]   [Part4]   [Part5]   [Read complete on AO3]

‘S-s-so Connor is your brooother?’ They were driving through Detroit’s streets covered by snow slush and salt. It would be a pain to get the hardened dirt from the road off his car later, Richard thought as quiet Christmas music accompanied their drive. ‘Yes. Older by roughly five years’, he answered. ‘We’re very close.’ ‘And he w-w-will be the only one there?’ Again, Richard nodded. ‘Yeah, him and his boyfriend. Guess I have to update that to husband soon, they plan to marry as soon as legislation has caught up with recognising androids as persons in every aspect.’ ‘No other f-f-family?’ Richard frowned, face falling instinctively, before he forced himself to cheer up.

‘Nah. Our father died in a car accident. I was three years old; I don’t remember much of him but photos. Connor knew him more and always said he was a nice guy. Our mother was always at work, too absorbed in her studies. It changed a bit when father died, but still she wasn’t home much. Connor basically was the one raising me, and he blames mom for not being there for me.’ ‘And y-y-you?’ ‘Nah’, he laughed. ‘It was normal for me; I didn’t know anything else. But we both agree that me and him, we are family and she doesn’t belong in that definition. And that we’ll do it better should we ever get kids.’ Gavin nodded slowly. ‘How’s he?’ ‘Caring?’, Richard began, having to think of the right words to express what he felt when thinking of his brother. ‘Overly protective. Overly friendly. It can be annoying at times. But he is honest too and understands boundaries. He never said anything when I had my silent phases, just came to my room and did whatever he did close to me keeping me company. He seems to always know what you need right now and I think that’s his most treasurable attribute.’ ‘Hooope he knows that with meee too, not just you. Wh-wh-what I told you, I won’t tell anyooone else.’

Nines risked a look to the side to Gavin, who had ducked his head in between his shoulders and fidgeted with a button on his shirt. ‘Hey.’ He stopped at a red light and was about to touch the android comfortingly, refraining from it last second as he remembered his reaction to that. ‘Hey, if it gets too much at any point, tell me. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.’ Gavin quickly looked out of the window and nodded, obviously embarrassed.

-

They arrived at a small house draped in tasteful Christmas decoration. Not too much and in exactly the right colours to make it feel cosy, warm and welcoming. Gavin stepped out of the car watching the lights and trying not to think of how he had lifted up the kids so they could help putting them up in their old home. They were fond memories made all the more sour by his loss. He knew his LED was likely red again, alerting the strange human that had picked him up of his  composure slipping, but if Richard noticed, he didn’t say anything, just walking ahead and smiling back at him as an invitation to follow him. Gavin swallowed and hastily walked through the snow to the freed path leading to the door. Nines was already standing there, hand hovering over the doorbell.

‘Richard!’ The door was almost ripped open by someone who looked exactly like the other human, maybe an inch smaller and a lot more expressive. ‘You came!’ ‘I promised, didn’t I?’ Connor hugged the other human and grinned from one ear to the other. ‘Yes of course, but still!’ Only then did he turn to Gavin, who was awkwardly standing half behind Richard and watched them. It was hard to blink away the warning popping up over and over again. Connor moving towards Richard. Threat. Warning. Richard returning his hug, the arm passing through Gavin’s personal space at that. Warning. Threat. Connor turning around. Threat. Run. Gavin didn’t know since when he was stuck in this analysis mode, but he was sick of flinching and glitching at any movement. ‘This must be your plus one?’, he asked Richard with a wink and held out a hand towards Gavin. ‘Hello, I’m Connor.’ Gavin couldn’t suppress taking a step back. ‘I-I-I’m Gaaavin’, he said, cursing his voice box for glitching now out of all times. Connor let his hand fall, but smiled at him, completely ignoring his stutter and hangers. ‘Hello Gavin, nice to meet you! Merry Christmas! Come in, you two! Hank’s getting out the food already!’

They followed Connor in and got rid of their shoes, before entering the living room. Connor instructed them to sit down and hurried into the kitchen to help Hank. When the larger android came to greet them, Gavin dared to relax a bit. He was deviant too, sending a friendly greeting ping to him. He looked gentle, trusting and didn’t have any marks on him. Hank put down plates for Connor and Richard, while Connor came back with two mugs of warmed Thirium for the androids as well as blue tinged cookies. ‘Can you eat?’, Hank asked him then. ‘You are an older model, right?’ Gavin nodded. ‘I am. B-b-but I caaan eat. I g-g-got the upgrade when Kathy- I got the upgrade.’ Hank lifted a brow at the errors and swallowed sentence, but otherwise didn’t mention it. ‘Then I hope they taste, Connor made them. He has no talent.’ ‘Excuse me?’, the human answered, elbowing Hank. Gavin expected damage, but it was a friendly gesture. ‘I can cook great.’ ‘Yeah’, Hank countered. ‘If you count heating up frozen pizza.’ ‘Hey, that’s all I can do, too, so I’ll side with Connor here’, Richard laughed. ‘What’s your verdict, Gavin?’

He looked into the other’s faces, still overwhelmed by it all. Instead of answering, he took one of the cookies and nibbled on the edge. He hadn’t really eaten much since he had gotten the upgrade and his tank didn’t allow for more than one meal anyways. It tasted… sweet. The texture was interestingly grainy and gave in to force easily. Not able to stand being stared at any longer, he just shrugged and said: ‘It tastes good?’ ‘See!’, Connor grinned. ‘Gavin likes it. I can’t be that bad then!’ ‘Or your recipe was good.’ ‘Or he did something wrong and accidentally saved otherwise horrible cookies.’ Connor crossed his arms. ‘Oh, shut up, Nines, try baking something you can’t even try because it’s literal poison for you!’ Richard laughed, and it eased the mood into simpler waters.

They continued talking for a while exchanging about what they had been up to lately. Gavin listened, but was content not to be involved at all, eating the cookies Connor had prepared. He actually liked them a lot and it was quite relaxing to just munch away on them. ‘And? How did you two get to know each other?’ He froze, sharing a look with Richard. ‘Errr…’ ‘Do you know that red light at the corner of that mattress store?’ Connor frowned, then nodded. ‘Yeah, you have to wait ages until you can drive on.’ ‘Somehow timing was perfect, and we saw each other every day when my shift ended.’ He looked over to Gavin and he nodded, thanking him inwardly to not tell them his whole life story. ‘Today I decided to talk to him.’ Connor looked over to Gavin disbelievingly. ‘My brother spoke to you first?’ Gavin huffed. ‘Y-Yes, he did. I-I-I lost my family because of the revolution. Had nowhere to go. He invited me to come with him.’ ‘So you really aren’t more than strangers’, Hank asked. ‘Kind of?’, Gavin shrugged. ‘But Richard seeeems like a nice g-g-guy and I don’t have m-m-much to lose.’ Connor swallowed. ‘I’m sorry to hear that’, he said. ‘You are welcome here any day if you need a place to stay.’ The android ducked his head, blushing. ‘Richard offered that already and I agreed to try it out.’ That shifted their attention towards the man completely.

‘Nines, are you ill? Initiating conversation, bringing someone for dinner and inviting them into your home?’ ‘Fuck off, Connor, seriously. Call it a Christmas miracle.’ Connor shook his head. ‘Would be one hell of one.’ Richard threw him a look and laughed. ‘Connor, just because it’s rare it doesn’t mean it never happens.’ ‘It was awkwaaard as hell too’, Gavin added carefully. ‘Have to admit I thought he was some sort of weirdo first.’ Connor smiled as Nines rested his hand on his arm. ‘Okay, that sounds more like my brother.’

‘Really? A weirdo?’, Richard asked Gavin. ‘I thought aaaaafter our last talk you appreciated h-h-honesty.’ ‘Yeah, okay, but you don’t just tell someone they are a weirdo.’ ‘It’s the truth.’ Richard sighed. ‘I don’t think you are oooone now th-th-th-though’, he added. ‘Thanks, at least there’s that then…’ Richard looked up at Connor. ‘What?’

The other human was grinning at them both and tried to hide it badly. ‘I’m happy, Nines. Really. I’m glad you both are here today. Come on, let’s watch a movie and then presents!’

-

The longer they spent at Connor’s house, the more at ease Gavin felt. No one asked him about his past or why he was malfunctioning all over. It surely was a question that burned in their minds, he could feel it, but they consciously didn’t question him. He was just being accepted as a part of their Christmas celebration as if he hadn’t just been picked up from some scrapyard and put into nice clothing. It felt like he… Like he had been here last year and the year before. Almost like… like he belonged. Like a family. He just had to reach out a hand and take the chance Richard had offered him and all of this would turn from pretend to reality. It was weird thinking about it, especially when every connection to the word family brought up memories of loss and grief about old happiness.

But was it wrong to want this again? To wish for another chance at building new memories? He looked at Richard from the corner of his eyes. The man was completely fixed on the TV in front of them, body relaxed and close to him but far away enough not to impose or cause stress. Gavin swallowed and looked over to Connor and Hank on the other couch under a blanket lying close, Hank holding the human and caressing his hair. He could have this again. This casual comfort, these caring touches, this feeling of safety and belonging. The home he had lost and tried to build for himself in that scrapyard could be his again, if he just allowed to let it happen.

He swallowed and pressed his eyes close to block out the warnings of threat, warning, run, danger. Then he scooted over slowly until he hit Richards warm ribcage. He felt the other shift around his frozen body, then an arm was draped around his shoulders carefully. ‘This too much?’, Nines whispered near inaudibly over the movie running and Gavin shook his head. No, he wanted this, he just had to get over his own barriers. A few minutes later, he tried opening his eyes again and was surprised his systems weren’t bombarding him with errors. Instead, his status box read safe and Richard’s body was marked as friend/ally. Gavin sighed deeply, dropping into the carefree touch completely.

When Richard dared to look down the next time, the android in his arm was smiling just the slightest and his LED was circling somewhere between blue and yellow – the calmest he had seen Gavin so far. By the end of the movie, Gavin wasn’t moving anymore, the LED pulsing slowly. Nines looked over at Hank questioningly and the android nodded. ‘He’s in stasis now.’ ‘Wow’ Richard said with raised brows, looking down on the sleeping android. Connor sat up and threw them their blanket. ‘You can stay the night if you want. Guess I have to call you Tens now’, he joked. Nines huffed and answered deadpan: ‘Do that and I’ll stop talking to you to go back to Nines.’

[>next part]

[kindleln]

Ok so I’ve been playing through the Bundle for Racial Equality and Justice on Itch.io and here are my thoughts so far!

Oxenfree

I played this one prior and oh my gosh I love this game. It’s one of my all time favorites and made me fear-cry. It’s a story based game that follows a girl named Alex, as she endeavors to keep her brand new step brother Jonas, her stoner friend Ren, Rin’s crush Nona and a girl named Clarissa who was Alex’s late older brother’s girlfriend, alive until morning on an abandoned island haunted very literally by the ghosts of the past.

Night in the Woods

My sister’s favorite game of all time and for me it is definitely up there. Focuses around a girl named Mae who recently dropped out of college and returned to her home town to try to reconnect with her friends and family and deal with her mental health, but there is something lurking in the woods... also all the characters are anthropomorphic animals and it’s adorable.

Celeste

Harrrrddddd. It’s hard. So hard. But I did it! Celeste is a platformer following a girl named Madeline as she tried to climb Mt. Celeste chased and hindered by her fears and anxieties as she attempts to cope. It’s a very good game but can be very frustrating.

A Short Hike

A short game relatively speaking about a bird girl named Claire who is on an island state park with her aunt and is attempting to get to the peak of the mountain to find cell service for a very important phone call. She can walk, climb and fly in this little open world game and it is very charming. I never got around to catching all the fish cause I have other things to do but maybe one day...

Minit

A very stressful game where you die every minute which is definitely not enough time to do everything but luckily all your progress stays each death, you just end up at your little house over and over. Reminds me of top down zelda games and is completely in black and white. I was tense the entire time but beating the game was such a rush of relief.

Wheels of Aurelia

Aaa so many endings! I got 3 so far to be honest. It’s a visual novel driving game following a woman named Lella and a lady she picked up at a dance named Olga as they travel the Aurelia road in Italy on their way to France for their own reasons. I wish you could slow down the car as well as speed up cause I hit so many people when trying to be careful lol.

Gnog

This game made my computer overheat and shut down! Aaa. Anyway it’s about opening boxes through puzzles and is very neat for what I played before my computer decided to throw a tantrum!

WitchWay

Adorable platform puzzle game playing as a little witch who fell into a ruin and has to find her pet bunnies, get her stuff back and get to the surface. In like every room there’s a eye on the wall that opens when you pass it and it took forevvvveeer to find them all and I’m not even sure what their point was but it was a fun game.

Beglitched

A bejeweled like puzzle game where you find a laptop owned by an apparently infamous user Glitch_Witch who apparently decided to take a break from her internet kingdom and dump it on some rando: you, and left you notes on how to get rid of “hackers” hiding in the puzzle boards. Very fun but the cat levels killed me. So. So hard. It’s a cute game worth a look

Ephemera of Evalynn Cott

I didn’t really “get” this game? It was a little hard to understand but interesting to say the least. I think I finished it and it didn’t take long. It’s about a girl trying to find her missing assignments I think. It’s like Atari graphics which is neat but it was hard for me to tell what was happening, you know, being younger than the Atari and all.

#hasicontent

A pixel game where you take photos of bunnies in a garden in a top down fashion. There’s no real point or anything for this game but it’s cute.

Pikuniku

2d puzzle platform styled game with a cute minimalist design where you play as a little red oval with legs and eyes called Piku who runs around a cute and quirky little island and kicks the crap out of robots. Rather short but very cute and charming, now only if someone would play co-op with me :/

Death and Taxes

I honestly don’t know how I feel about this game. You play as a grim reaper in an office and the main game play is stamping papers with short info blurbs on humans to decide if they live or die. It’s a weird game that suggests the world is better off if some people die and I don’t know how I feel about that. I really don’t.

Lenna’s Inception

A top down Zelda inspired game where the hero dies in the tutorial and school teacher Lenna must step up and conquer the dungeons to save her students from the glitch that made her school disappear. It apparently has three endings which definitely adds to replay-ability and you can switch between 32 and 64 bit styles. It was really fun and I highly recommend it if you like zelda games.

[kaleidiope]

Novaturient

To heck with it, I'm going to give a in-a-nut-shell explanation of the stories I'm writing. I do have more in-depth versions in my story collection once I update it all and put it out again. But I have drawings I want to post and I kind of want to explain who the characters are before I do. So, I have a six part series I've been working on at random, on-and-off since some point in 2019. (Some of you will probably know, and remember, OUL fairly well.) The names have been questioned and moved about a few times but I think it's all finally been settled. The series has been dubbed, "Novaturient" Meaning: (All meanings copied from google, thanks google!) "Novaturient is desiring changes or alterations, usually in regards to one's life, behavior, or situation. The origin of novaturient comes from the Latin novāre (make new)" (Some of these will be familiar to many who were on MBM back in 2019 especially.) Also, there is mentions of black magic, and falling society below. In the actual stories there are many heavy-topics covered. I will not mention them here because it is a lot to tag. (And those aspects aren't even talked about here because it's just a rough, nut-shell explanation of the stories.)

So, without further-ado, I bring you to the first story. "Liberosis" meaning: "Liberosis is a longing for liberty, an ache to let things go. A recent addition, wytai, is an acronym for “When You Think About It,” and means the sudden realization of how absurd some aspect of modern life is." The story of a man has too much empathy to the point it brings him real physical pain seeing others unhappy. The idea that the world will always move on weather or not people are ready hurt him dearly. He wound up getting into black magic in an attempt to make his dreams come true. The dream of a "vacation" world where people could go to process the pain the world has forced them through. He summoned a "demon", who made the world he dreamed for. But, the man was so happy, he never checked the "terms and conditions." The world built on deceit, feeding off of pain, it was doomed to fall. And, any "OG's" way back from MBM (and even Quotev) will remember the early pitch that was "Klexos" Meaning: "There are ways of thinking about the past that aren't just nostalgia or regret. A kind of questioning that enriches an experience after the fact." The story of a very ill person exploring the house their parent forced them to live in with who was a practical stranger, years later. After getting a terminal diagnosis, and a mystery letter appearing on their hospital night-stand, with nothing but a key and address enclosed. Curiosity consumed them and they went to the house. Slowly exploring and slowly recalling their childhood, and finding out just how much they were cared for by someone they barely knew or remembered. All while also finding a way inside the empath-man's world. And then that brings us to the original story that made me want to make this a visual novel/kinetic novel series. "Monachopsis" Meaning: "The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place, as maladapted to your surroundings as a seal on a beach—lumbering, clumsy, easily distracted, huddled in the company of other misfits, unable to recognize the ambient roar of your intended habitat, in which you’d be fluidly, brilliantly, effortlessly at home." Which is the story of a person grieving over the loss of someone close. And finding their way inside the empath-man's world as well. Getting the full experience, of slowed time, and easy life. Made perfect for the real would to melt away from one's mind. But, this person only has a rough estimate of two weeks to leave the world. As for, to enter the world, one must be in a coma. And without life support, one doesn't have long to wake up. They must recruit the help of one of the "non-human-demon-aliens" made specially to help others leave in order to go back home. Which brings us to the next, very-connected-to-Monachopsis, story. "Lachesism" Meaning: "The desire to be struck by disaster — to survive a plane crash, or to lose everything in a fire." Which in this story a person falls through a mirror within the house they recently moved into. Finding a "glitch entrance" to the empath-man's world. where they find the world slowly crumbling. The person then speaks with all they can find within the world, slowly understanding the problems it is facing. As well as why so many are now trapped there in a special-man-made-purgatory. And why they went into the world to begin with. Which brings us to the last story, "Exulansis" Meaning: "The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it-whether through envy or pity or simple foreignness- which allows it to drift away from the rest of your life story." Which in this story, a person gets a letter telling them they were mentioned in a will, by someone they don't know. And that the deceased person left their house and whole estate to this person. Out of curiosity, they go to the house. Only to find many oddities, some which scare the person so bad into leaving and never coming back for long periods of time. But the hunger of confusion and wanting an answer always made the person return. The person soon finds missing

person notes, and many other alarming things. Showing them of "another world". After finding many more things, they come across a robot, who helps them break-through the glitched entrance of the empath-man's world. To find the world in a second-to-final stage before complete corruption and failure. Seeing the sky grow darker, and the inhabitance doing their best to prepare for the worst. Which then brings us to the final story, which actually wasn't meant to be connected at all to this series. OUL, or, "Out under the lights." Being it's code name, real name being, "Agathokakological" Meaning: "Composed of both good and evil." A story of a world trying to rebound from an eternal eclipse, all while having the life literally squeezed from it by a power-hungry corporation, who doesn't tolerate any form of competition. They found a way to make light from a water dwelling insect. A dearly needed bug for the ecosystem of the world. A young inventor builds a light that doesn't need a creature to work. She tries her best to leave the city where the corporations power is strongest in hopes to find others willing to support and help her with normalizing her creation, hoping to save what's left of the world the best she can. All while meeting others, all who have many problems, ideas, and beliefs of their own. Thank-you so, so much for reading!! And I hope you have a wonderful day!

[theastrophilearchitect]

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...

Writing journey #4.

15/05/2021 07.22 My break has officially been over for five days, and i have done some writing, but it’s been incredibly inconsistent, so I decided to start this blog post over. Bay Tree has been archived, and though FSB isn’t done, I’ve realised I need to take a step back. It’s why writers leave weeks at a time between drafts--so when they return, they’re in a different mindset, and can improve their work.

For this same reason, I need to take a step back before I finish my outline. My thought process is becoming monotonous, which means I’m losing my excitement. When you start a project, you have the idea in your head as perfect, and when those ‘vibes’ become tangible, it is less exciting. That’s unavoidable. But I just need to take a step back, so when I return, I have fresh ideas, and the plot becomes more exciting to me.

So today, I’m going to start brainstorming a new idea I had, which I don’t have an alias for yet, and I have an idea to essentially bind every project I have together, but not in Grishaverse- or Shadowhunters-style where you need to read ten books just to read the one you want. Just a nod to anyone who does read multiple, like when Aelin falls through worlds and sees Rhys and Feyre for a split second.

So. Let’s brainstorm.

My plan, I think, is to alternate weekly. This week, I’ll work on the new one, next week I’ll do FSB. I could just take this new idea and apply it to FSB, except I just don’t see how that would work. I have different worlds in mind, and this new one is a fantasy where FSB is sci-fi(/fantasy. It’s kinda both).

16/05/2021 07.07 I really wish I was a pantser. Even though I haven’t got to the editing stage, my favourite part of writing is implementing new ideas and making changes, but I’m just not a pantser. I need to know where each part is going. Instead, I have to sit here, brainstorming, for days, to figure everything out.

18/05/2021 07.06 I did a lot of work on the 16th, but I was busy yesterday, and didn’t get any writing done, because, when I was free, I was just reading. So, I’ve decided I’m going to at least write before I leave the house, which gives me about 45 minutes this morning. 

23/05/2021 18.30 Based on the fact it has been five days, I think you can tell how good I’ve been about keeping writing. The problem is that I don’t actually have much past a concept for my new project, so I’m trying to figure out how, precisely, I could merge the two projects. FSB is interesting, but doesn’t have a huge amount of depth, which adding the characters from the new project would absolutely do, while the new project is lacking plot, which FSB (at least the first book I’ve planned) does. So, I’m going to start a new Scrivener project, and consider how I can merge the two concepts while implementing both plots.

Is it too much? I have only two main characters in FSB, but five in the newer one, which gives me seven main characters, divided into three groups. And do I want to write a book with so many separate storylines? I know readers (myself included) always end up favouring one storyline over another, getting annoyed when certain POVs come up. I don’t know what to do.

I could keep the new project, but implement FSB? Hold up. New Project (NP) has two protagonists who could undergo a similar development to the protagonists of FSB... I had a plan for the male protagonist of FSB, his arc, which wouldn’t work for NP’s male protagonist, but would work perfectly for its female protagonist...

Tumblr’s glitching. It wouldn’t let me reblog a post earlier, and now it won’t let me save this draft. Please, no.

Okay, so I had to copy what I’d written for today, disconnect and reconnect to the Wi-Fi, then wait for my drafts to load to paste it. Going great!

21.00 So I didn’t get a huge amount done, because I caught up doing ~evening things~, but I at least have a plan going forward, which is an accomplishment

30/05/2021 09.29 I’ve spent the last couple weeks doing everything I can to avoid writing, but i now have an insane amount of free time, so I have no excuse. I want to use this time in a productive way, and, for me, that means writing.

03/06/2021 10.31 I swear to god, I’ve had ‘writing’ on my to-do list every single day, except not doing it is probably my own fault, because it’s been so far down on the list. Also, I’m doing a buddy read, but am also unfortunately descending into a reading slump, so even reading 50 pages takes me about 90 minutes--they’re not even long pages.

I actually went back onto my old Wattpad account earlier, where I found a load of old, unfinished stuff, but none of it was as bad as I thought it would be, and the ideas weren’t bad. I just really have no idea what it is I’m writing right now, and I hate trying to figure it out.

11.30 There are so many Ss in the word ‘assassin’ this is not okay.

This is actually going so well. I have two storylines in my head, a complex cast of characters, and I’m so looking forward to plotting this.

04/06/2021 08.04 Look at me, two days in a row. Anyways, I’m thinking I ought to name these characters ASAP, because it’ll be easier to shape them to their names than it will be to find a name which fits them once they’ve been shaped.

14.41 Here’s what I’m realising: I like to pants plots, but I can’t do that while I’m actually drafting, so I think my plan is actually to bullet point everything that happens, then revise that, then start drafting, so the story is basically set in the first draft.

I’ve actually gone through a lot of stuff--I have workable plot material!

17.16 So, me being me, I’ve semi-outlined (I say semi-, it’s more like a tenth) a trilogy, meaning I have ideas for three books following this storyline, and it... makes sense. It’s the kind of story where I can follow multiple arcs, a few at a time, instead of several overarching ones, or maybe it’s just that I’m letting myself.

07/06/2021 16.44 I don’t have a damn clue what I’ve spent the day doing. I haven’t done anything in a couple days because it was the weekend and I was busy, but I’m back now. The thing is, I haven’t spent the day reading, watching, drawing, or doing anything, really--it’s escaped me. But, at the very least, I’ve relaxed, so who cares?

I’m not applying story structure to the ideas I’m having quite yet--rather, I’m just developing them to see how they bloom on their own, then I’ll fit it in; it just seems like a more natural and effective way to develop.

Yeah, no. It’s too late in the day for this. I have zero motivation.

08/06/2021 09.49 Maybe I’ll accomplish something today; who knows? Certainly not me.

I’m now applying the 3-act structure, but I’m realising I have way too many details worked out for this--switching to more acts.

22.20 Why am I doing this to myself? I wish I could say I’m not entirely sure, but it’s because I can’t sleep, because this project, and my character Lihan, are the only things I can think about, so here I am. I don’t want to be a night writer, but que sera sera (I wish I could type accents on an English keyboard).

23.22 I accomplished more in the last hour on this project than I have in the last four days.

09/06/2021 - 1,115 words 09.29 I really hope I don’t prove today that night-writing is my sweet spot--I don’t want it to be. Can the world just let me have a functional sleep schedule??

Anyways, so, as I’ve mentioned before, I use Scrivener, which enables me to sort which documents are part of the manuscript from the ones that aren’t. I’ve been working outside of the manuscript, but I think I’m going to move them into it--I have a plan I believe will be more effective for my own drafting. I think I very much need the events to be set in stone before I begin writing in actual prose, so how can I do that? Especially when I also enjoy pantsing, but not in prose?

Here’s the plan: I plot out the main events, then bullet point everything in very high detail, similar to what many people call a zero draft, in which they draft a book in short form. I’ll sort the bullet points into chapters (but not scenes, because as I discovered with Bay Tree, I find scene-blocking makes the narrative less natural), leave it alone a while, then revise, so I can have my plot more-or-less set in stone before I work on prose.

As a result, I’m going to shift my plotting into the manuscript section, because it is, essentially, an early draft, and also I want a word count as a progress metre.

13/06/2021 - 1,611 words 8.18 Alas, I have been busy the last few days, but I’m here now.

9.20 The amount of secrets and who-knows-what in this story is genuinely absurd, but I’m sure I’ll clean it up eventually.

14.01 A few days ago, I came across a post about balancing large casts, which is exactly what I have, and the first thing it mentioned was the two-trait rule, in which every character has two traits completely unique to them, to help both reader and writer differentiate. Which I’m now going to implement.

14.42 I have these two characters, and I know exactly what I want their dynamic to be, except I can’t decide who should be which part of it.

I have made my decision. It probably works better now, but it does alter their roles, so I need to fix that.

I literally swapped them round solely because I decided one was taller than the other and thought it would be more interesting if the short one was the sadist. Why do I make my own life so difficult?

14/06/2021 - 1,574 words 11.08 I didn’t make an enormous amount of progress yesterday, but I did make some, and made notes of ideas for relationship arcs last night, so I count that a victory (forced optimism--surprisingly effective). I’m currently just working through bullet-pointing book one, while making notes of events I want in the rest of the series (I’m projecting three books, and telling myself I will finish them). I’m currently fiddling with one of my storylines to see how I can mould it to FSB’s and OH MY GOODNESS I JUST HAD A GREAT IDEA must take notes, one moment pleaseeee.

Okay, so I have four bullet points for relationship arcs and an idea to adjust one of the storylines--I’d say I have six main characters, two of whom are really the protagonists, two of which are my favourites, and the other two are fun, but in need of development. They’re split into a group of four and a pair, and I’m definitely more into the storyline of the four, mostly because the four contains my two favourites, and it’s more developed than that of the pair.

I’ve been keeping a list of things to add: motivations, loose plot threads, plot points I want to include--I really need to re-organise it.

On another note, I am so glad I named the characters as early as I did. I’m debating having two of the characters swap names, but I don’t think I will, because I will absolutely mix them up, and one of them is part of the perfect ship name.

My mouse isn’t working. I changed the batteries, but it’s not working, so now I get the joy of trying to figure out if the batteries I put in are just old or if the mouse no longer works, which would suck.

Yes, I’m going to describe this. Mostly because when I changed the batteries the first time, it took a minute to stop working, and this will waste a minute. So, first set of batteries, which we’ll call set 1, don’t work. I don’t know if it’s both or just one, but if it’s one, I don’t want to throw away both. I take out set 1, I put in set 2. Set 2 works perfectly. So it’s not the mouse. Now I take out battery 2B, and replace it with 1A, so I have 1A and 2A in here. I know 2A works, but I’m not sure about 1A, but the mouse works, so 1A is fine. Let’s replace 1A with 1B.

Yep. 1B is the problem child. 1A works fine, but 1B doesn’t. Lovely. Crisis averted. It would’ve really sucked it I had to get a new mouse. And back to writing!

12.13 I’m bouncing between documents as I organise, which means my word count is actually decreasing, so I feel like I’m making significantly less progress than I am.

I just realised my two protagonists are cousins. I’ve had it in my head that one’s father was the brother of the other’s father, but somehow I didn’t realise that makes them cousins.

I’m about to delete a list because I’ve reformatted it--my word count is currently at 1,958, but is really about to drop.

AND NOW WE’RE AT 1,572. My session word count is -32. Minus thirty-two. I hate it here, but it’s fine, because we’re ~developing~.

15/06/2021 - 2,113 words 09.39 It’s not even technically summer yet, but it’s too hot, and I hate it here. All the windows are open, so everything’s cool, there’s a nice breeze, and lots of light, but the birds are so loud, and I have to keep all the doors closed because the open windows send them swaying and slamming. You know when you close a door when all the windows are open and it slams? Yep. Not into it. 

I feel like every day I try a new way to organise my plotting. I’m unsure as to whether that’s helping me or holding me back, because it forces me to review what I have, which usually sparks new ideas, but I’m not convinced I’ll ever get to the end as long as I keep doing this.

21/06/2021 13.40 I spent the latter half of last week with zero motivation, then I was busy at the weekend, but I’m here now. I’ve been trying to make myself write basically all day--I have a plan, and a list of things I’ve come up with the last few days, but I just couldn’t make myself do it. I’m not in a good mood, but maybe this will help.

I have, however, just reminded myself that I need to prepare this week’s post, because I sincerely doubt either this or my ongoing Recent reads will be ready for Friday. Actually, if I do quite a bit of writing this week, this post might be, but I’m not willing to bet on it.

And oh, crap, now I just want to write a blog post.

No. No I don’t. I started looking at the list of ideas I had, and now I’m just not feeling it. I’m pretty sure when I open my document for this project I’ll lose all motivation too, but it’s worth a shot.

There’s a specific relationship in an anime I recently watched that I want to pull apart--there’s this ship, and the author of the manga has called the two characters ‘soulmates’. There’s just this huge amount of tension between the two, and I want to re-watch the show because I love it, but also so I can take notes to figure out what was so effective about it.

13.53 I’ve been doing this for 13 minutes, but I do think I need to leave this project/outline alone for a bit, give it an opportunity to ruminate, to evolve. In truth, I may not even come back to it until I’ve re-watched the anime I was talking about so I can tear that ship to pieces.

17.33 So I just learned brainstorming is apparently significantly easier on paper. Hm. I’ve just worked out so damn much, stuff I’ve been struggling with.

18.00 I have successfully tied up so many plot threads, simply by working with pen and paper. This is revolutionary. (I know, not really, but it is for me, someone adamant about working with a keyboard and monitor)

22/06/2021 09.42 Seriously, why did I never try actually working on paper before? Something about holding a pen to paper and scribbling and drawing a mindmap--it just works. I’ve been obstinate about avoiding working on paper because I hate physically writing, yet here we are.

25/06/2021 11.09 I’m really not managing much reading at the moment--since I started reading manga, my attention span has just gone down the drain. I’m currently reading Mister Impossible by Maggie Stiefvater, and I don’t think it helped that I had to stop less than a third of the way in to do a buddy read, but I just don’t have much motivation to read it, though I do so want to. I haven’t been listening much to audiobooks lately either, because when I’d usually listen--when I’m getting dressed, waking up, going to bed etc.--I just want to listen to music, because I also recently fell down the well of k-pop, and the group whose discography I’m getting to know at the moment is BTS. Basic, but they’re the fifth group I’m doing, and they have so many songs. Which would happen after eight years, but still.

I want to read so, so badly, but I just don’t feel like reading Mister Impossible. But I do want to finish it before reading anything else. I think I’ll finish my current audiobook, then if I’m still feeling stagnated in Mister Impossible, I’ll switch to the audiobook of that, then just take a break from reading until I’m ready to actually read. 

But this post is for writing, not reading. I did write on the 23rd, but I just didn’t update this post. The 24th I was busy, but my wall is now covered in post-it notes of world-building, characters, gods, plot points, and a whole load of other stuff.

Also, I had an idea for a book title this morning--not for this one, just in general--and when I went to add it to my list, I found a title that would so suit this project. I don’t want to say it, but let’s just say this project will be called ItLotG--or not. That’s a hideous combination of letters. I promise it is actually a good title.

11.52 I’m having another crisis over these two characters. I’m thinking it would make more sense to have L’s betrayal ‘arc’ initiated before the catalyst, or rather have it be the catalyst, except the problem there is that they’re not in the city they need to be in to receive that offer.

UNLESS,,,, what if this point happens just while they’re in the capital.... I’ve got it. 

17.16 I’ve been taking notes this whole time of everything I want to happen in books 2 and 3, and I have so much now i think they’ll be so much easier to plot than this one.

The downside of working mostly on paper is that my plans on Scrivener have been refined to one document, which is now only 878 words.

Right now, there’s a glaring hole between the midpoint and the ending, but my climax is one of those where the climax itself is a very small part of a bigger event, so if I figure out what I want to happen in this big event which is essentially the whole of the third act, I should be able to fill in the rest of Act Two with the setup for that.

So I’m leaving it there for both today and this post. In the last month or so, I decided to start over and mash two projects together, which created a whole new storyline I love, and now I’m mostly done with the first outline. I want to treat outlines as more than just preparation for drafts, because I find notes so much easier to edit than actual prose, and I hate writing without a clear idea of where I’m going. 

I think I’m going to call these ‘runs’--an outline is a run through, a draft a run through, so I’m nearly done with my first run, and I’m very proud of that, so go, go write the idea you have, drink some water, take a nap if you need one, eat if you haven’t eaten in a few hours, and I’ll be back with another writing update innnnnnn probably august, honestly.

Go write that idea!

[timegears-moved]

☕️ mmmm pokemon games specifically (not including spinoffs)

sorry this is late im terrible with actually answering asks. ill do this generation by generation. also this ended up very long because i have a lot of thoughts about pkmn.

gen one: okay so right off the bat im gonna say that i have a massive soft spot for gen one, considering blue was the first game i ever played. i do have a degree of nostalgia towards it which is why i can never be truly be harsh on these games. i know they're a mess of glitches and mechanics that make no fucking sense (seriously FUCK psychic types and everything they stand for) but it has a certain charm to it.

but even as a "kanto apologist" (which damien calls me) i can absolutely agree that the pandering is fucking abysmal. they're trying cater to a demographic who hasn't cared about pokemon in years and aren't going to pick up a new game just because charizard is in it. by doing this it feels like they're alienating the people who actually care, like "yeah ur support is nice but we want the genwunners to like us more than anything.

also on the topic of pandering is that their pandering is so half-assed too. all of this gen one content and not one shred of love for my boys victreebel or cloyster? bro i hate it here.

gen two: i dont really have that much to say here tbh. i have no fond memories of it at all considering i only played through gold once right before hgss came out. i can say that i appreciate all of the bullshit from gen one that it fixed but i have issues with johto as a region that ill elaborate on when i talk about the remakes.

gen three: honestly i never cared much for this gen. i played it quite a bit growing up but it's always been whatever for me. a lot of it just feels kind of.....bland for me. i really don't know what to say because it leaves me feeling conflicted. there's nothing bad about these games that sticks out like a sore thumb but they just don't do it for me, ya know?

i do appreciate frlg for shedding a much better light on kanto though.

gen four: okay so i'll fully admit that the sinnoh games are my childhood faves and are still my faves now but im not letting nostalgia completely cloud my judgement on this.

honestly? i think pokemon peaked with platinum. dp had their problems for sure and some of those still carried over to platinum but the scale in which platinum told its story feels so much grander than any pokemon game that came before or after it. i absolute adore the sinnoh mythos and i only want dp remakes just so it can get expanded upon, i could care less about any actually gameplay from it. ive said this before but you cannot make the god of pokemon and not do anything with it.

as for hgss, i have very mixed feelings about this one but not in the same way gen 3 made me feel because i do have genuine problems here. ive talked before about them but i just cannot stress how bad the level and pokemon distributions are. how the fuck can you make brand new pokemon for your johto region and not put them in fucking johto?

like these games are fine ig. i never cared about the walking pokemon mechanic but it literally feels like people only praise this game as the best because of that one thing that has no bearing on the actual game itself. you can like these games all you want, i still enjoy parts of them myself, but calling them the best is a huge reach.

gen five: right off the bat im gonna say that i do love the gen five games so nobody thinks im being overly critical or anything. i love the aesthetic of these games, i ADORE the pokemon here and they're some of the most fun pokemon games to play through. it's the story and characters (with the exception of n i will absolutely give credit where it is die there) that throw me for a loop.

i feel like whenever i praise the story or characters im just following the crowd here. i don't know if im just very stupid (i definitely am very stupid) or what but none of it felt as powerful as people claim it is for me personally. maybe i should just pay more attention but i honestly don't know. im definitely not saying theyre bad or anything i just in all hobestly dont get the (very sudden) hype.

uhhh i can't say much about bw2 because i haven't beaten it since it came out but i remember liking hugh and it made iris a champion so i remember them being good on those two things alone.

gen six: hohohohoho here we go. tbh i don't even know what i can say about xy that hasn't already been said. like gen one might be a huge mess looking back on it but at least it had character. xy introduced a few pokemon that i really liked and some amazing shiny hunting methods that should definitely return but that's the most i can say in terms of praise.

i dont think pokemon has ever gotten this boring before, and that's speaking as someone who clocked over 300 hours into my x save file. nothing has life (which in hindsight is ironic considering xerneas is the god of life) and i hate the way mega evolution was handled so much. i really don't know what else to say because everyone has already said what i want to but i think this has been pokemon's lowest point so far.

oras once again made hoenn complicated for me. they made hoenn somewhat interesting for me in a way that didnt capture me in the originals. i don't think they're stellar but ive seen people call these the worst ones and....why. i get that the originals are special to a lot of people and that they feel like oras did them injustice but honestly i would oras over the originals because they're just more fun for me.

gen seven: it made popplio. 10/10.

okay so i can understand why the very slow start and unskippable long cutscenes threw a lot of people off but i just don't understand so much of the hate it around other things. again i see people proclaiming it as the worst and you can see it as that from a gameplay element, but the story fucking slapped ass and i don't think amybody can or should deny that. maybe i just feel very passionately about them because they're very personal for me in helping me through a rough time in my life but i just also dont see why everybody is so mad at these games sometimes.

the fact that sm mean so much to me makes usum's entire existence hurt so much more. like wow i love abuse apologism: the game thank you sooooo much gamefreak! /s

aside from ultra wormhole jumping, my baby dusk lycanroc and the new ultra beasts i dont care for anything new usum brought. it feels like it back peddled so much by completely ruining lillie's character by attempting to make lusamine likable when the damage from the first games was already done. i hate usum they're the only pokemon games i can state that i hate. i don't know how you can take sm's well-done albeit flawed blueprints, take out everything that was good and only leave stuff that either doesn't matter or is actively harmful.

also let's go pikachu and eevee exist too idrc

gen eight: ive already spoken my piece on swsh but im gonna be more clear here. i dont think swsh is inherently bad and i can still have fun with them. i dont think the issue here lies with the cut pokedex. i could honestly care less about that and i always figured we would get to this point. the issue lies with nintendo and tpci pushing for yearly releases, forcing the devs to make yearly subpar games. i can think of so many ways they can remedy this situation: taking longer times between releases, hiring more staff at gamefreak or even splitting developments for different projects between multiple different studios. i hope that the reported low moral at gamefreak at swsh's releases is enough of a wake up call for change but that could just be me being optimistic.

i am SO sorry this ended up as long as it is but i have a lot of opinions and not enpugh willpower to keep my mouth shut

[all-hail-the-witcher]

really funny and stupid soulmate au request: whatever your soulmate is singing, you automatically join them in a duet wherever you are (any ship is good)

okay full disclaimer, I have n o i d e a what this is, the words just kinda happened and its really memey but somehow works ??

_______

ship: ralbert

genere: meme floof with a side of theater nerds

warnings: mikeys dog, too many bill wurtz references, comrades, an obscene amount of winking, Albert is a disaster lighting technician and race has no respect for lighting gels, high school musical

words: 1832 wat

editing: nah comrade

_______

If anyone knew anything about Albert it was that he always carried a packet of rosemary in his left pocket “in case he ran out of weed,” that he was trying to get excommunicated from the catholic church “just for lols,” and that he hated high school musical. The last one was particularly damning because all of his friends were theater nerds. (Albert prefered to yell at all of them from the lighting booth and assert his dominance by randomly having people shine the spotlight into the wings where people made out during rehearsal.) He had even gone as far to ban the soundtrack from ever being sang in his presence. Spot said his unrequited hatred for the movies were directly related to the fact that he had not yet found his soulmate and he didn’t like them because it portrayed love he had not yet found, but Albert loudly disagreed saying that the plots were merely just “shit on a stick.”

Cue Racetrack Higgins, the hot new kid in town.

When he showed up to the audition for the school musical, some dumb title that Albert hadn’t taken the time to note (he only had two brain cells and one of them was reserved for figuring out where he was gonna get his weed from and the other was reserved for coming up with new ways to get excommunicated), he had not expected to see a literal angel.

Alright so maybe it wasn’t an angel. Rather, a blonde kid who looked kinda vaguely like a beanpole. And quoting Bill Wurtz. Couldn’t forget that.

The ethereal beanpole had introduced himself after a particularly memorable incident about ten minutes before the audition started. Somehow, he had ended up on the catwalk holding a stack of painstakingly organized gels over the edge as if he were about to drop them.

Now, Albert was not the most organized lighting technician and he did enjoy a bit of mischief every now and then, but only if he was the one pulling the mischief. Plus, he had just organized all the gels and didn’t want to do that again. He’d much rather hide Spot’s keys in the janitor’s closet. So he did the natural thing.

“HEY BEANPOLE! IF YOU DROP THOSE I WILL CUT OFF YOUR HAIR AND FEED IT TO THE SPIDER IN THE BROOM CLOSET!”

The kid’s head snapped up. But, instead of looking like a squirrel about to be chased by a hungry seal shaped pitbull that smelled vaguely of thai food and cheese like the freshman did, the boy winked mischievously and let the gels dangel further over the edge. Then, in a singsong voice that Albert could only describe as the one belonging to his true Lord and Savior, Bill Wurtz (take that catholic church), said: “how bout I do anyway?”

Albert’s next insult died on his lips and he settled instead for glaring at the sexy beanpole with all the power of a pissed off techie.

“What?” The boy pouted, “can’t think of a good comeback?”

“Listen beanpole-”

“It’s Race.”

“Whatever.” Albert stomped down the catwalk in his black timbs, being sure to make as much noise as possible in order to attract the scattered actors below them. “Let it be known that while I did appreciate your history of japan quote, I do not appreciate your presence on my cat walk. And, if you to continue to dangle my gels over the edge like that, I will make sure you never get cast in Wanda’s World-”

“Its Animal Farm.”

“-and that you never get your clammy little paws on a single ounce of weed during your time in this hellhole. Capisce?”

“Weed is for losers,” Race said, thwacking the pile of gels on the catwalk with a muffled bang, scattering the top ones, much to Albert’s dismay. “I prefer vape myself, much more sleek and trendy.” Then, much to Albert’s surprise, he winked, turned on his heel, and exited the catwalk, tipping an imaginary hat before descending the stairs back down into the auditorium.

“Well fuck him right in the nipple,” Albert cursed to himself as he scooped up the pile of gels and stalked back to the lighting booth where he threw them unceremoniously on the ground - he’d sort back through them later. Instead, he sat on his beloved spinny chair that he had stolen from his history teacher back in 9th grade, wrapped the blue fuzzy blacket around himself he’d stolen from Spot last year, threw his feet up on the lightboard, and resolved himself to watching the auditions.

Race, apparently, had been correct, the musical was a rendition of Animal Farm. Although, why someone would write a musical version of a book about a bunch of patronizing pigs making everyone call each other comrade was beyond him.

Albert gradually began to tune out the auditions eventually pulling his beats from around his neck onto his ears and playing random indie songs instead of listening to the screeching below him.

However, once Race took the stage he paused his music out of curiosity. If he was going to have to deal with this kid all year, he might as well see if he had any talent. However, when he heard the opening chords of what was unmistakably a High School Musical song, he groaned and pulled his beats back on, cranking up the volume to drown out the atrocities of the shitty song.

This plan, however, was foiled when he found himself somehow singing a song that was not the one that was playing through his headphones. Initially, Albert ignored it, too dead set on his own blocking out of Race’s singing to care what his mouth was saying. But as it got progressively louder he ripped his beats off in frustration to see what exactly was going on.

To his utmost horror he realized that he was singing a duet with Race.

Albert’s stomach dropped. He knew exactly what this meant. And there was no way that it could be tue. It had to be a glitch. There was no way in hell that his soulmate was the same kid who had tantalized him on his very own catwalk with his precious lighting gels and a horrendous yet perfectly wonderful Bill Wurtz quote not a half hour before.

And there was absolutely no way that he was going to discover his soulmate by singing a high school musical song infront of all of his friends. No fucking way.

In a panic, Albert clapped his hand over his mouth to muffle the sounds coming from it. That way he could play it off as if it had never happened and continue living his perfectly happy soulmate-less life.

Much to his relief, Race stopped singing mere moments later and he pulled his hand away from his mouth, taking a deep breath of relief. However, this was immediately converted back to anxiety as he began to sing the second verse of the song against his will.

“Take my hand, I’ll take the lead

And every turn, you’ll be safe with me

Don’t be afraid, afraid to fall,

You know I’ll catch you through it all”

Race’s head snapped up and a bright smile formed on his face as he continued to sing, heading toward the steps to the lighting booth. A hush had fallen over the auditorium. Albert briefly wished that he had not tried so hard to get excommunicated because maybe some divine power would have been able to save him from the embarrassment that he was about to experience.

“And you can’t keep-”

“Even a thousand miles can’t keep us apart

“Us apart, cause my heart is-”

“Cause my heart is wherever you are”

Vaguely, Albert heard the familiar clang of someone slowly mounting the steps to the catwalk and he attempted to duck his head further into his black sweatshirt to no avail.

“It’s like catching lightning, the chances of finding someone like you

It’s one in a million the chances of feeling the way we do

And with every step together, we just keep on gettin better

So i can i have this dance, can i have this dance?

Can i have this dance?”

Then, as if being in such close proximity to Rae had some profound influence on him, Albert felt his legs begin to carry him toward the catwalk and, subsequently, the annoying beanpole himself.

“Oh, no mountains too high and no oceans too wide

Cause together or not, our dance won’t stop

Let it rain, let it pour

What we have is worth fighting for

You know I believe that we were meant to be, yeah”

And then, somehow, it was one of those Dramatic Theater Scenes™ that Albert usually hated so much, but somehow he didn’t mind this time. This must have been the feeling that his friends had so often described to them upon finding their soulmates: complete euphoria, as if nothing in the world existed except for them.

Albert found himself getting closer and closer to Race until they were practically ontop of eachother, his hands clutching at Race’s green minecraft shirt as they continued to sing, oblivious to the audience that they had accumulated.

“It’s like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you

Like you

It’s one in a million the chances of feeling the way, the way we, we do

And with every step together, we just keep on gettin better

So can I have this dance, can I have this dance?

Can I have this dance?

Can I have this dance?

Can I have this dance?”

The auditorium below them erupted in a chorus of cheers and Albert felt his face blush bright red under his black beanie, causing him to pull away from Race as he returned to reality. Startled, Race looked at him, but then his face transformed into the mischievous smirk that Albert was beginning to suspect was customary for him.

“Guess you wanna save face in front of all your friends, huh? A badass like you can’t have feelings and all that.” He winked and Albert rolled his eyes. “That’s okay, you don’t have to kiss me now if you’re uncomfortable with it.”

Now it was Albert’s turn to roll his eyes as he hovered his lips mere inches from Race’s and said the same thing that he had been told not too long ago: “how bout I do anyway?” and smashed their lips together, earning a loud round of applause from the crown below and one lone whoop from Spot.

As Albert was passionately mushing his lips against his soulmate, he couldn’t help but think to himself, maybe high school musical wasn’t so bad after all.

_______

im actually low key proud of this like maybe I still know how to write lol

feedback is always appreciated, hmu to be on the tag list

tag list

@fairly-awkward-trashcan@well-the-kids-do-too@racetrackcook@ughwaitwhat@aw-jus-let-em-try@tommy-s-s0cks@voice-foundshoe-lost@stopthe-presses@ridin-in-style@pinecovewoods@i-got-no-clue-what-im-doing@bencookisagod@be-more-chill-evan-hansen@stellar-alpaca@saxoph-ella@smolcanadiankid@disney-princess-sized@the-newsies-justice-for-zas-blog@insane-tomato@spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn@have-we-got-news-for-you@thatfancyclam@myidkwhatmynameisblog@legoflambwrites@not-a-scab@albertdasillvaprotectionsquad

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@mrs-higgins

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@hopefully-not-the-ghostbusters

@humanracoon

@irondad-spiderson-duo

@albert-eats-cookie-cake

@nico-nat

[wishthefish916]

What Is Anti?

Holy fucking shit, I’ve literally had this saved as a draft on this site for MONTHS and just haven’t posted it out of spite, but if ever there was a call to action this is is. I published this theory a while ago, but I wasn’t completely happy with how I’d written it at the time so I took it down a few minutes later. I’d originally planned on never revisiting this again, but while developing a different theory which will probably be coming out soon, I was forced to revisit this work, so here we are. The science of Antisepticeye. What he is, where he came from and how to stop him. It’s a long one lads, so buckle the fuckle up.

If we’re ever gonna stop Anti, which is kinda the point of all this theorizing anyways, we have to know what exactly he is. To figure that out, we need to look into what effect he has on the world around him. Looking back at the ever expanding collection of Anti moments ((thank the heavens for his wiki and a whole lotta spare time)), the only thing that tied them all together is that the person in the webcam felt a sense of danger, be it from a jump scare or high suspense or even from hearing Anti’s name, the brain of the person who was recording sensed danger, which triggered a hormonal fight-or-flight response in their body in the moment Anti presents himself to us, and it’s usually preceded with a long gap in symptoms surfacing. What else do we know of that lies dormant for a long period of time before something triggers it to wake up which usually leads to chaos for whatever system it’s in? Jack A virus!

So what kind of virus is he? Well, in bigger videos like Say Goodbye and Kill JSE the person on the screen communicated that they felt physical effects of his presence, like nausea, aches, delirium and twitching and in some cases bleeding from the eyes. This tells me that if Anti is a virus he’s a biological one.

However I cannot ignore the biggest telltale sign of Anti showing up which is the game or webcam ((and sometimes the person)) glitching, audio disturbances, and corrupted html text((Zalgo)), which would tell me that he is a computer virus.

So lads, correct me if I’m wrong in saying that if Anti is indeed a virus, he wouldn’t be exclusively biological or the technological, but rather a biomechanical virus((I totally didn’t make up the term shush)).

Being made up of both biological and technological components mean infection could have happened just about anywhere. For the sake of clarity I’ll be breaking it up into biological and technological components as I’m fairly certain the two are symbiotically dependent on each other, considering the physical effects coincide almost completely with the technological ones.

If infection was controlled by the biological aspects, that would mean he was infected by contact with the virus. Either he touched it, breathed it in, ate or drank it, kissed it, or bled on it. For all the other egos who’ve been infected, this makes perfect sense. JJ cutting his finger right before the glitching shows up, Henrik almost never wearing his surgical mask when handling his infected patients, Chase heavily drinking in the moments leading up to Dark Silence, but Jack is a different story. The first time we saw Anti was in FNAF Sister Location, and that video had none of the above in it. That tells me he was infected well before he first showed himself, which makes sense logically. People don’t show flu symptoms as soon as they come into contact with the flu virus. It has to fester for a little bit before showing any symptoms, so why should Anti be any different?

So where did Jack get infected? If he did physically come into contact with the virus, it would have been in a live action video. From a storytelling perspective, it wouldn’t make sense to not showcase an important plot point clearly, and live action is the best medium to do such. That brought me to the 2015 pumpkin carving video, but nothing too suspicious happened. There was no bleeding, he didn’t eat anything, while he did kiss the pumpkin no bodily fluids were exchanged, and breathing it in or touching it seems implausible, because it would mean the virus already existed in his house, which means he would have been infected long before that video.

The only other live action videos he’s done, and correct me if I’m wrong, were the 700,000 subscriber ghost pepper challenge, the ALS Ice bucket challenge, and his regular vlogs. Sean is incredible at blurring the line between normal video and ego video, but these videos all had an underlying sincerity to them, where he was trying to communicate to us his appreciation or with the ALS video trying to get us to donate to charity, and I find it highly improbable for him to try and undermine the meaning behind them with an ego clue.

That leads me to believe that it were the technological aspects of the virus that infected him, and that’s where things get kinda tricky. Now, computer viruses are actually relatively easy to come into contact with, the problem definitely isn’t there. Maybe Jack was sent it in an email, maybe he went to a sketchy website, maybe he downloaded a game that had a little something extra up it’s sleeve. No biggie, it happens. The logic leap is when the computer virus starts affecting his real life person, even when he’s not using the computer, a la Say Goodbye.

I believe immersion is the answer. Immersion in game play is something a large portion of game developers strive for, making the player feel like they were actually inside their game. This is one of the hardest and most important things a story driven game developer can do, and also one of Jack’s key defining features in games he tends to really enjoy.

I think, in the story that Sean has created for us with the egos, when Jack is doing a lets play and he gets really immersed in the game, he actually does exist inside that game. That feeling of total immersion, those moments when his brain is unable to separate the game from reality, they happen because of him actually being inside the game on his computer. If Jack were to download a game that had Anti’s virus on it, and then became immersed in the game play experience long enough to come into contact with said virus, it’s entirely possible that the virus stayed with him when he left the game/no longer was immersed.

Well, if we’re going to find out how to cure the thing, we’ve first got to find the location of patient zero, i.e. the video that started it all. If we know where it came from, we’ll know how it works and that’ll make it immensely easier to stop it. Are there any games out there that Jack played that 1) truly immersed him as a player into it’s world, 2) share a strong resemblance to what we already see in Anti, and 3) was uploaded some time before the release of Sister Location. There are two bigguns that spring to mind.

Undertale is probably the most well known and well liked series on Jack’s entire channel. While he was playing he became heavily invested in each of the characters, even the baddies, and so did we. We grew to care for them all as if they were our closest friends. When they were hurt, we screamed in protest. When they were comforted, we felt all warm and fuzzy. When we reached the true ending, we all cried. I would most certainly consider that immersion, wouldn’t you?

Not only did Undertale immerse the player and viewer, it messed with your actual computer files. If you do a genocide route even once, uninstalling and reinstalling the game won’t wipe it’s memory of the route. You have to dig through your computer to find and delete the file that tells steam what route you chose if you want to play the game brand new again. Not to mention the game frequently closing itself unprompted, which has a well known history for corrupting recording footage. Potential for corruption? Check.

New paragraph for new point because oh my god, there’s a lot. Several people have already pointed out the similarities between Flowey and Anti, but just in case you haven’t seen it yet or wanted a nice recap, here we go.The voice acting Jack chose for Flowey sounds just like a higher pitched Anti voice. This was the first time he ever layered audio files to achieve a more sinister voice effect. The thumbnails following his fight with Flowey all hold trademark characteristics of Anti video thumbnails. Our first ever interaction with him ends with him attempting to murder Jack. Their laughs are one in the same. At certain points in the game, you can find Flowey following you, keeping an eye on things, if you will. His boss fight, oh my g o d. He kills the dude in charge, everything cuts to black, and next thing we know there’s a glitchy face laughing at us through a screen, telling us about how he’s the one in charge and how this is his world and how everything he’s done was all our faults, after which his eyes turn red and green and he starts puppeteering controlling six different souls, using their different skills to his own personal advantage so he can fulfill some unspoken objective. Gee, sound familiar? 

However, despite all of this, Undertale was not patient zero. Why I still listed all the game’s similarities despite this, I promise was not to waste your time, I’m getting to that. There was a game that came just before this one, the first of it’s kind, the actual patient zero. That game, is The Visitor.

Many of you may not remember this game, but The Visitor (and The Visitor Returns) was a little flash game that was posted way back on March 1st, 2015, and you played as an alien creature that came to Earth on a meteorite who’s only objective was to kill any creature it came into contact with to gain it’s powers. It was a video that kind of took the channel by storm, landing it’s place as the fifth most watched video on Jack’s channel even though nobody really knew how. This was patient zero. 

As for the checklist? It was posted March 1st, 2015, a full year and seven months before Sister Location. Jack is certainly immersed in the gameplay, so much so he forgets about the menu screen and accidentally restarts the game in an attempt to do more stuff. Does it show a similarity to what we already see in Anti? More than you’d see at first glance. Yes, his mouse is kind of glitching through the entire video. Yes, his webcam goes dark for a single frame towards the five minute mark. Yes, there’s multiple severe neck wounds throughout the game. But that’s not what sold me on this. It’s the premise of the game itself. 

I was struggling for months trying to figure out which game was patient zero. I jumped between Undertale, Fran Bow, Vee is Calling, and even the other Five Nights At Freddy’s videos more times than I could count, because all of them seemed like plausible answers. Fran Bow was the first series ever to adopt Anti’s traditional thumbnails, with lens flares and glowing eyes and blood everywhere(seriously, I took a good ten minutes and scrolled through every single video on his channel and Fran Bow was where it all started), not to mention a dark shadow creature who feeds on suffering being the main antagonist. Vee is Calling had an actual virus as a main character who actually glitches out and actually takes control of the main character’s in game computer. One of the glitches in SIster Location #1 showed a frame from the first ever FNAF game, and many of the sounds were pulled from the series at different points. I’ve already written paragraphs about Undertale. All of these things show a direct tie to Anti. 

Then remember what The Visitor is all about. It’s an alien who kills things around him to gain it’s powers. It takes aspects from each creature it comes into contact with and uses them for his own personal gain. That seems to be exactly what Anti has done ever since we’ve known him as a physical entity on the channel rather than an idea with a name. 

I mean, look back at May 2k18. Every single skit, either ego themed or not, was pulled directly from whatever the game he played was about. Hell, just look at the egos! I’ve talked about this before, but in every single ego video, there is always a theme of character decay, where the person they were at the start of the video erodes away leaving nothing but a shell of who they were by the end, and this is especially apparent in their debut. JBM, the courageous hero giving into cowardice. Marvin the Magician, throwing away his career. Henrik the wise doctor, killing his patients and forgetting a comedic amount about human nature. Chase the bubbly dad, pulling a gun on himself. JJ the mute actor, cutting his finger and immediately getting possessed. I’d tied them back to Anti before, but I never really knew why. In hindsight, this was clearly Anti’s attempt at stealing their strengths. Each and every one of them had some advantage that Anti wanted, and their slow decay was evidence of Anti trying to take control so he could have it. That’s why each new video showed him getting stronger, going from making them kind of afraid to full on suicide and possession. He was stronger because he’d taken more attributes and was able to use them more effectively with each passing video. For each game that Sean got immersed in that fit his agenda, Anti adopted different aspects for himself. There is no one video where Anti came from because he came from every video.

Okay. Alien biomechanical virus. How do we treat it? Well, that is heavily reliant on it’s sources. Anti adopted both some benefits and some defects from every game he pulled from. He gained both strengths and weaknesses, so if you want to “beat” him, the answer would lie in those games. The Visitor had no happy ending. Fran Bow won by giving up on reality and living with tree people, a demon, and an oversized axolotl. Undertale got a good ending by befriending everyone including the bad guys and hopefully not dying too much in the process. FNAF was finished by getting fired or burning everything to the ground and praying you’re not sent to purgatory. Vee is Calling was saved by focusing on your love life more than your computer files. Maybe it’s one of those answers. Maybe it’s all of them. Maybe it’s none of them. It seems not even Sean knows the answer to that question, but now we have a great place to start looking.

I wasn’t able to attend PAX, which means I didn’t know about the Anti “hint” until just now. When I heard it I wanted to scream, I think I actually might have, because I’ve been sitting on this work for literal months and just not gotten around to posting it. “We still haven’t figured out what Anti is yet.”

So, @therealjacksepticeye, are my answers to your satisfaction? 

[glassrain]

Bumblebee:

So, at the recommendation of @timelordsoftherings​ I decided to watch Bumblebee, despite my previous - and rather disappointing - experience with the Transformers franchise. And I’m very glad I did, because I really enjoyed this movie (thanks Aaron)! And now I have Thoughts on the movie (naturally) and I need to talk about them. So, here we go.

(WARNING: Spoilers abound)

* Bumblebee is all kinds of adorable. I love him. He’s this superpowered weapon that could take on the entire army if he really wanted to, but instead he just wants to, like, watch movies and play games and adopt this fragile, pink human girl. And he’s so shy and naive and sweet and earnest. He’s so child-like. And I love that dichotomy, how he’s both at the same time.

* Why do the Decepticons/Autobots have Lips?! WHY? It makes no sense? They’re made of machinery? They hardly need lips to speak, so why do they have lips!

* It’s all so retro and I’m in love with it. Cassette tapes! VCR’s! Overalls! Vintage cars! All the oldie music! *swoons*

* Also, why do the Decepticons and Autobots get into fisticuffs? They are impossibly advanced, sentient, alien war machines. Surely they have a more ... what’s the word I’m looking for? Practical. Surely they have a more practical way to fight each other? I don’t know - throwing punches just seems kinda juvenile and inefficient when both players are armed to the teeth with blades and guns and who even knows what else.

* Okay, but honestly the scene where Bumblebee gets his vocal unit ripped out was devastating. It’s shot in such a brutal manner, flipping from the omniscient perspective of the Decepticon viciously tearing at B-127′s throat, to B’s perspective, with everything glitching in and out, panicky and fading, trying desperately to focus on everything at once. Excellent camera work.

* Speaking of Bee’s perspective - I don’t know how Autobots are created. However, I know for a fact that whoever/whatever created B-127 has at least visited Earth before, because he definitely has a theme going on (heck, Charlie called it within like 5 minutes of meeting the guy). The name, the coloring, the hornet-shaped war helmet - the hexagon pattern of his POV visuals was a nice touch. I approve.

* I appreciated the bit with Charlie’s alarm. Not only indicating the passage of time, but also showcasing Charlie’s depression - because that’s what depression does, it saps your motivation to do much of anything, makes you wonder why you should even get up out of bed at all. But then Bee shows up, and Charlie scrambles out of bed right away - a nice way to show her beginning of recovery, without spelling the situation out for the audience.

* Oh. While we’re on the subject of Charlie’s depression ....

* Can I just say that her mom sorta/really bugged me? Like, her daughter’s clearly struggling with the loss of her father. But instead of making an effort to reach out and actually help, she just comments semi-accusingly on how Charlie always locks herself in the garage; throws movie nights without inviting her daughter; gets a new boyfriend; does little to nothing on order to make Charlie’s first birthday without her dad a good, special one; I’m pretty sure she even blames Charlie for her depression at one point, insisting that everyone else is trying to be happy, and couldn’t Charlie at least make an effort? I know all this makes her sound awful - she wasn’t, not terribly. In many ways, Charlie was enabling her own grief. But depression is hard, and no one does it perfectly, and a little effort on the mom’s part was in order, I think, since she was clearly in a much healthier place than her teenage daughter. I don’t know - she just kinda rubbed me wrong. I didn’t like her much.

* I was genuinely upset on Charlie’s behalf when the boyfriend gave her that book on smiling more. Like, the girl is grieving? And depressed? I would have been mad at him too, if he weren’t clearly such an (well-intentioned) idiot.

* Otis was virtually useless. He should have been removed from the story, or at least utilized better.

* Speaking of poorly utilized characters: Memo. I think he was a super important character to include, since a big part of Charlie’s characterization focused on how she’d isolated herself since her father’s death - Bumblebee helping her open up again and start making new friends was a BIG part of her character development, and I genuinely enjoyed it. I don’t think he was a bad character by any means. I don’t even mind the mini-romance going on between the two. What I did mind is the fact that Charlie’s relationship with Memo took away time I think should have been given to Charlie patching up her relationship with her family. The movie takes the time to highlight the fact that Charlie’s relationship with her family - particularly her mom - has been strained since her dad’s death, but the resolution was virtually glossed over, without any real apologies or conversations from either person. It wasn’t bad, per se, but a bit sub-par. I think the movie should have shifted its focus from “Charlie makes a friend and also fixes things with her family” to “Charlie fixes things with her family and also makes a friend.” That’s all.

* .... I lied. That’s not all. There’s also the fact that Memo is kinda reduced to cheap comedy in the third act; I didn’t like that either. Memo was a good kid, and didn’t deserve that.

* Charlie being like, “I will literally sell you my soul if you’ll give me that Bug”? Honestly Charlie, same. That Bug is adorable - I wouldn’t mind it myself, Autobot or no.

* (Okay but seriously, the Bug is so cute! All the fun-yet-classic lines of the body of the car, the light upholstery - [even if it is a bit frayed on the passenger’s side, I think that just gives it character] - and the vintage center control are all just so cute! I want that car, okay?)

* (I mean, honestly Charlie. You like the Camaro over the Volkswagen? What is wrong with you?)

* THIS scene was so sweet and tender. Charlie’s wonder and kindness quickly winning out over her fear, Bee being so confused and frightened - flinching back over everything, because he’s been hurt before, please stop breaking my heart I didn’t ask for that - but shyly choosing to trust Charlie. Both of them are alone and lost, and find a kindred spirit in each other, with this gentle and almost reverent music in the background. This scene is so soft and good.

* (Also, do you see lips on this Autobot? No. As it should be.)

* Look at how cute he is though!

* The scene where Charlie teaches Bumblebee to hide is too precious for words.

* “I have a good explanation for this .... Okay, no, I don’t have a good explanation for this. But if you tell anyone about this I’ll have to run you over with my car.”

* Charlie’s smile is gorgeous. Just saying.

* Alright. I know this movie is a fictional action flick and all, but seriously. In what universe would the American government just hand their satellites and all their intelligence over to an alien race they just met that day? I mean, I know this took place before 9-11, but that still surpasses my suspension of belief by a fair margin.

* Bumblebee, you can’t just spit out her tapes. That’s rude.

* I couldn’t really get behind the general’s plotline. Which is understandable, because the writers are already juggling so much in terms of development - Bee’s development, Charlie’s development on multiple fronts and backstory, the actual plot - so they really didn’t have time to delve into his story too deeply. They couldn’t really afford to make him much more that two-dementional for much of the film, since he was one of the driving antagonists who never really got much more that a minute of screen time per scene he was in (if that) - and so his about-face in the climax felt slapped on and convenient rather than earned. Plus, his interaction with Bee in the beginning of the movie could have been completely excluded with no major changes to his character. For these reasons, I think they shouldn’t have included him as a Character at all. He was just kinda flat and unnecessary.

* I do think his salute to Bumblebee, and the returning Victory Fist, was super cute though.

* I just lost it when Bee started going to town on the mean girl’s car. It’s been a good while since I’ve laughed that hard at a movie. Maybe it was just how late the hour was, but I thought it was hilarious.

* I love parallels, and the ones going on with Bee/Charlie’s dad were so good.

1) She was working the car in her garage as a way to connect with her lost father, a way to keep him alive, so to speak. “If I could just just fix it,” she tells Bee at one point, “it’s like ... he’ll hear me.” All of these desperate hopes, tied up in fixing her car to save her father. Later, after the Decepticons have left Bumblebee (who also happens to be Charlie’s car) for dead, Charlie is scrambling over him , trying to find what’s wrong, sobbing and chanting, “I can fix this, I can fix this,” as she desperately tries to bring back another dead loved one.

2) In passing, Charlie mentions that her father died of a heart attack. When she’s trying to bring Bee back, she shocks him with the electric guns - they act in a manner that’s extremely reminiscent of electric paddles. Precisely the way one would try to bring back someone who had suffered a heart attack. Whether Charlie witnessed and remembered that and was desperately hoping, Let it work. This time, please let it work, or whether this was simply meant for the audience, it’s still a delightful parallel.

3) The diving, of course. The last time she’d dived was the day her father died. That changes when Bee is under the water, and she once again dives, this time in order to save his life.

4) After Charlie has saved Bee’s life, and then let him go willingly because her place is here, with her family, and not out there with Bumblebee, that’s when she’s able to finally fix her car.

* In so many ways, Charlie gets her father back - or at least overcomes the losses she suffered with her father - through Bumblebee. It’s so beautiful, and touching, and I’m so in love with it.

* Oh, and don’t get me started on their goodbye scene. Bittersweet in such a good way.

* Even without the incentive of connecting with her dad, I can’t blame Charlie for slaving away for so long over that car, because oh. *fans self* That car is a dream.

Okay, this got very, very long and I applaud anyone who made it all the way through. Thanks for sticking around to hear all my rambling thoughts!

[unlikely-allies]

***SPOILERS***

4/5

Stars Above by Marissa Meyer is a companion novel to The Lunar Chronicles series. The book contains several short stories featuring some of the main characters from the series. The first story, The Keeper, tells the story of how Scarlet’s grandmother Michelle Benoit comes to take care of Cinder prior to her cyborg surgeries. Michelle was one of four Earthen pilots chosen for a month-long diplomatic mission to Luna. While on Luna, Michelle meets Dr. Logan Tanner and they engage in a short affair, which results in the birth of Scarlet’s father. After not seeing each other for 30 years, Logan shows up on Michelle’s doorstep looking for somewhere safe to keep 3 year old Princess Selene while she is held in suspended animation. The surgeries that will provide the princess with her synthetic limbs cannot occur until she has grown more, so Logan needs someone to look after the unconscious princess until the time is right. After 2 years of taking care of Selene, and always looking over her shoulder, Michelle agrees to let her granddaughter Scarlet stay at the farm with her, though Scarlet is left in the dark about the presence of the princess. Eight years after Logan’s initial visit, he reappears again to tell Michelle that the princess’s surgeries must be done early because he is developing Lunar sickness and his mind is deteriorating. He has arranged for the princess to live with a man named Linh Garan in New Beijing. When the surgeries are completed and the princess is ready to begin her new life, it is Michelle who chooses the name Cinder.

Glitches, the second story, shows Cinder meeting her new stepmother and step sisters, as well as introducing the plague and even the character that would become Iko. When Garan brings Cinder home it is clear that Adri isn’t excited about having her in their home, but she isn’t quite as blatantly disgusted with Cinder as she is after Garan’s passing. Peony embraces Cinder from the very beginning, telling her about her favorite shows and playing dress up with her. To prove to her new family that she is useful, Cinder repairs the family’s disassembled android. Proud of her accomplishment and eager to show it off, Cinder goes to show her new family only to arrive in time to watch Garan be carted off. Garan had contracted the plague and this would be the last time that Cinder or her new family would see him again.

The next story, The Queen’s Army, provides insight into Wolf’s past. Ze’ev Ksley was conscripted into the army at age 12. He was given a brief moment to say goodbye to his family, knowing that he would not be able to see them again, and then lead away for surgery. He is unconscious for days after having his teeth, body, and overall genetics tampered with. Confused and unaccustomed to his own body, Ze’ev is literally thrown to the wolves. Jael, the pack’s thaumaturge gives a quick introduction before forcing Ze’ev to join his new pack members in their military-esque formation. Initially he resists, but his act of defiance is met with punishment. Ze’ev is content with his place in the middle of the pack until the day that Jael bring in Ze’ev’s little brother Ran as the last pack member. When Ze’ev tries to stand up for Ran, Ran becomes defensive and the hostility between the two brothers begins. One day, Queen Levana arrives to tell the packs that she will soon be choosing the groups that will serve as her special operations units. These packs will be spared from the additional surgeries required to become one of the Queen’s mutant soldiers. Ze’ev is picked to fight against his pack’s alpha, who he ultimately ends up killing. Ze’ev acknowledges his new position as Alpha with mixed emotions, but he is happy that his pack has been spared from becoming even more violent creatures.

The reader gets a peak into the backstory of Carswell Thorne in Carswell’s Guide to Being Lucky. A 13 year old Thorne is already ambitious and set on life as a pilot. His pompous parents believe he should follow in his father’s footsteps and attend the Andromeda school and join the military, but Thorne has bigger plans. But first he needs to pass math. Thorne, though shorter than his female classmates, is already a charmer and has many adoring female fans. He attempts to use this to his advantage in trying to get one of the smart girls, Kate Farrow, into helping him with math. When Thorne accidently embarrasses Kate in front of the class, he thinks that he has missed his chance. Upon returning to class after his lunch break, Thorne stumbles upon several bullies tormenting Kate. The bullies take away her portscreen and Thorne steps in to help Kate, earning himself a few bruises in the process. Thorne is punished by the administration for fighting, even though Kate explains what happened. To show her thanks, Kate agrees to let Thorne copy her math homework. This story is the one that Cress refers to in proving to Thorne that he is a hero. Thorne remembers what happened as being motivated by his selfish need to pass math, but the reader gets the chance to see that Thorne did step in simply because he wanted to help.

The next story has less of a positive message. After Sunshine Passes By is the story of how Cress comes to live in her satellite. Until she was 9 years old, Cress lived with the other shells in a dormitory on Luna. One day Sybil retrieves Cress to take her to complete a job for the Queen. Cress is convinced that she is being given the opportunity to go to Earth, but she instead flown out to the satellite that would become her prison. Though the story is short, After Sunshine Passes By is an important moment in the life of Cress’s character. It also serves to show that Cress’ positivity could not be staunched, even after years of living in solitary confinement. The disposition of Cress’ character is unaltered from when she first enters the satellite to the moments leading up to hat she believed to be her rescue.

The Princess and the Guard provides the reader with insight into Winter’s background and the relationship between her and Jacin. When Winter is 7 years old she compels a young woman away from the edge of the balcony in the throne room. Believing she has done the woman a kindness, Winter uses her gift to send the woman happy feelings when ever she sees her. This goes on for years until Winter realizes that the woman has been going out of her way to avoid Winter, and Winter doesn’t understand why. When Winter is 10 years old, her father Evret is killed by a thaumaturge, cause her to develop of fear of them. The death of her father also means that she is now left to be parented by only Levana. Soon after the death of Winte’s father, the woman who she saved when she was 7 ends up committing suicide. She had been being manipulated by thaumaturge Aimery Park for years and had recently become pregnant with his child. Winter realizes that upon saving her the first time, she was actually setting the woman up for continued abuse. This series of events causes Winter to give up using her gift. Winter’s first hallucination is of hearing her father’s voice. Queen Levana grows annoyed about Winter’s defiance in not using her gift, this is what leads to Levana cutting the princess’ face causing hat would become her trademark scars. Throughout the loss of her sanity and her abuse at the hands of Levana, Winter seeks comfort in Jacin’s presence. Jacin ultimately chooses to become a guard instead of leaving Winter after seeing what Levana has done to the princess’ face. Both Jacin and Winter accept their roles as pawns in Levana game, but find comfort in knowing that they have each other.

The seventh story, The Little Android, is about a Mech6.0 android that gets to experience what its like to be human. The android has a personality chip “defect”, similar to what causes the human-like aspects of Iko’s personality. After Mech6.0 goes rogue and saves one of the human workers who falls into a tank of oil and is scheduled to be disassembled, the android seeks help from none other than Linh Cinder. Without much time or money, the best that Cinder can provide the android with is an old escort-droid body to replace the one damaged by the oil. Though the speaking abilities of the android are nonexistent and a great deal of pain is experience when she tries to walk, Mech6.0 is pleased with her new form. A fake background and name allow Mech6.0, now called Star, to get a job at the shipyard where she worked as an android. Though Star gets to see what it is like to be human, she must also face the negative aspect of humanity such as prejudice and heartbreak.

Stars Above also provides the reader with Kai’s point of view of when he meets Cinder at the market. Though it can be assumed that the reader is already familiar with what happens during the story, it is still nice to get to see what was going on in Kai’s head during his initial interaction with Cinder. Kai is immediately taken with the young mechanic, and it is obvious that he has no idea how she feels about meeting him. Reading the scene from Kai’s point of view almost makes the fact that they end up together even more charming.

Something Old Something New is the final story in the Stars Above novel. Cinder had abdicated the Lunar throne and has taken the position of earthen ambassador. This will be the second time that Cinder has been back to Earth since the revolution on Luna, and it couldn’t be for a better reason. Scarlet and Wolf are getting married and the entire Rampion crew, including Jacin and Winter, are invited to the big day. Cinder and Iko are transported to Earth by Thorne and Cress who have made a home out of the Rampion, and Thorne has used his precious spaceship to take Cress to see everything that Earth has to offer. When the group arrives at Benoit Farms they are met with a heard of journalists eager to report on the upcoming nuptials and how it relates to the politics between Luna and Earth. It is obvious that Scarlet isn’t happy about all of the media attention, but she is willing to withstand it if it means having all of her friends present to see her and Wolf get married. What Scarlet doesn’t know is that her friends have prepared to have the ceremony early in order to avoid the unwanted media attention. While the girls figure out how to get Scarlet ready without tipping her off, the boys decorate the farmhouse and prepare for the ceremony. Scarlet is pleasantly surprised when the plan is revealed. Kai officiates the ceremony, and Scarlet and Wolf exchange the perfect vows. This story, the perfect end to any fairytale is made complete when Kai proposes to Cinder and she says yes.

Stars Above provides insight into well-loved characters and provides the series with a real fairytale ending. This companion novel is a must read for fans of The Lunar Chronicles, especially for those who are not yet ready to say goodbye to Cinder and the rest of the Rampion Crew.

[missyslittlepet]

*Requested - Reader wears high tech glasses due to their poor vision and one day they break. Rocket offers to fix them but takes his time because he wants a way to get closer to them.* It normally would have taken him about three days, he did have a reputation for being good with tech after all. He watched silently as you staggered across the room, hands out slightly to avoid walking into anything. The sight was comical. Like something from one of those... what was it Peter called them? Martoons? Cartroons? Rocket couldn't quite remember and made a mental note to ask Peter later. You had been that way ever since you had your glasses smashed by some thug on knowhere. The Guardians had been treating themselves to a few drinks to celebrate their triumph against Ronan. It wasn't everyday they saved the galaxy after all. It had been your round and the line had been long so when a guy pushed in front of you just as you were about to order... Well let's just say you weren't all that pleased about it. Now, to say that this guy was built like a brick shithouse would have been an insulting understatement. After dealing with bullying due to your vision all your life you had grown tough and confident. You were through with people treating you like nothing so you probably weren't thinking when you placed the barrel of your gun against the guys back. "I think I was here first pal. Move along or I'll shoot." You had always wondered what it would be like to fly. However, as you flew through the air after being flung by the brute and the bar wall came closer into view, you couldn't help thinking it wasn't as fun as you had first hoped. The contact with the wall was swift and left you crumpled on the floor like a discarded rag doll. Rocket had been the first one out of his chair. Shots were fired and he managed to chase the guy out of the bar. The whole place seemed uninterested by the scene, completely numbed to it after the amount of times these kinds of things occurred. You were thankful for that at least because your face was red with embarrassment. Drax offered his large hand to help you up. Rocket watched this and scampered over quickly. "Nah, I got her, I got her!" Rocket shouted over the noise or the bar waving Drax away. Drax raised an eyebrow and backed away. Rocket instead offered you his small clawed hand and pulled you up into a sitting position. He studied you carefully and noticed a slight cut just below your eye where some smashed glass had caught your skin. "Ya alright?" He asked. You sighed heavily. "I'm fine..." You couldn't help seeing the cracked glass and glitching software dance across your vision, making Rocket look out of focus and distorted. You remove them from your face and glance down at them. Your blurred eyesight made you grimace and Rocket realised taking the glasses from you. They were brilliantly designed. Infrared technology, target locking software, facial recognition and very, very expensive to replace. Rocket turned them in his hands and chewed the inside of his cheek in thought. "I'll fix 'em, it will take a while but I'll get 'em working again." Rocket knew it was easy. Brilliantly made they were... for someone on Xander that was. He had developed bombs more complex that those glasses. Not that he'd tell you that. With a smile, you had thanked him and allowed him to guide you back to the Milano. What you didn't realise was there was perks to you not seeing clearly... Not for you, of course, but most definitely for Rocket. You see, with your vision impaired it allowed Rocket to watch you without fear of being seen himself. He was good at hiding behind a veil of satire meaning he had grown good at masking his true emotions as tolerance or annoyance. When no one was watching, however, he was free to allow some of his feelings to slip through the cracks. He felt the tell tale tug on his lips letting him know he was in fact smiling to himself again. He had been taxed with looking after you until your glasses were fixed. Peter thought it would be a good incentive for him to fix them sooner. Oh, how wrong he was. Rocket laughed lightly at the thought. It had been two weeks now and Rocket was still yet to actually take a good look at the true extent of the damage caused to them. If he was being completely honest with himself; he enjoyed the fact that he now spent all of his time with you. With out the loss of your glasses you really had no need for his help. "You know, if you're just going to laugh at me I'd rather you just left." You mumbled under your breath. Two weeks of feeling useless was really starting to take its tole. You had become irritable from having to rely on Rocket because as far as you knew Rocket was hating every moment. The last thing you wanted was who you considered your closest friend to start to resent you. Rocket never had been the type to help people without making a fuss about it first. Rocket's smile faded. "(F/n), I ain't laughing at ya." He said quickly, ears twitching as he spoke. "Oh, yes you are. Everyone is." You threw yourself down on what you hoped was a chair. Luckily, it was. "Ain't nobody laughing at ya. What makes ya think that?" His ears had flattened slightly, any trace of his smile completely gone. You scoffed. "What makes me think that? I'm completely useless without my glasses. And now you need to baby sit me. I know you hate this Rocket. Just go, it's my stupid fault for picking a fight with a guy that could quite literally throw me across the room. You shouldn't have to deal with me. I'm going to buy some new glasses as soon as we land. If done relying on everyone." Rocket felt a stab of guilt enter his body. He hadn't realised you had been feeling that way. "Nah, don't spend all of those units. I'll get 'em fixed by tomorrow. I promise." "Rocket it's been two weeks, I've stolen far too much of your time already. This isn't fair on you. You have more important things to be working on." A second stab. "...(f/n), I haven't started looking at 'em yet." Rocket admitted. He paused waiting for you to shout at him. You remained silent and waited for an explanation. Rocket took the hint and continued. "I just want an excuse to spend time with ya. 'M sorry. I understand ya just wanted ya glasses back, It was selfish of me." "...You never needed an excuse Rocket. I'm annoyed don't think I'm not but... that's kind of sweet..." You smiled in his general direction. "...yeah?" He mumbled, the smile reappearing. He made his way towards you and gently placed his hand on your arm. "Yeah." You laughed and scoop him up into a hug. He was just a fuzzy blur at that moment but he was still your Rocket. Rocket never minded you picking him up. He loved being close to you. "Just please fix them if you can." You laugh. "I'll go now, you've waited long enough." He nuzzled his head into your jumpsuit before running off towards his room. Later that night, after several hours hard work, he had your glasses working as good as new. He even took it upon himself to add some new features. He held them excitedly and ran off to find you. You had managed to stumble back to your room and lay on your bed. There was a quiet knock on your door and you called out for whoever it was to come in. "Hey (f/n), I fixed 'em." He ran over to your bed and hopped up. You allowed him to place them onto your face. You watched as the galaxy came into focus once more and your eyed landed on Rocket. His beautiful brown eyes stared back at you and a smirk tugged at his lips. "Oh Rocket, thank you so much. They're as good as new!" You pulled him into another hug. He once again snuggled close and smiled. Trying his hardest to wrap his arms around you. "They're better than new. Thought I'd add some stuff, y'know." He pulled away and placed it on your hand. He then extend one of your fingers and guided it up to the metal frame of your glasses. You could feel two small buttons. "This one," He moved your hand onto the left one. "Allows ya to detect what weapons someone has. Pretty useful in combat. This one," He guided you to the right one. He tried to stifle his laughter but still ended up sniggering. "Allows ya to see the probability of winning in a fight with someone based on build and IQ, so, if it's below thirty percent ya know ya gonna get thrown across a bar and smash your glasses." You laughed and nudged him playfully. "What's the probability I'll win against you then tough guy?" You press the right button and writing appears in the corner of your vision. 'Aint nobody beating me princess, besides, who else will fix your glasses?' You laughed again at the fact that he had made your glasses as sarcastic as himself. "Thank you Rocket, I love them." You smiled and kissed his cheek. "No problem (f/n), ya waited long enough." He had a dopey grin on his face and he scratched behind his ear nervously. "Since I don't need no excuse to hang out with ya does that mean we can go get a drink when we land?" His eyes dropped to your bed sheet. He found that the pattern had suddenly became very interesting to him. "Of course Rocket, I'd love to." You smiled when he looked up at you in disbelief. "Really?" He beamed. "Really. I think I'd be lying if I said I hadn't enjoyed your company for the past two weeks." "It's a... It's a date then?" His grin faded and he regretted the words as soon as he had said them. Had he just blown it? Took it too far? He looked away in fear. "Its a date." You grinned excitedly. "I can't wait." His smile returned in full force and he looked back up at you. "Me neither sweetheart." He smirked.

[archonreviews]

The Archon’s Review of E.Y.E: Divine Cybermancy

E.Y.E: Divine Cybermancy is a first-person shooter with role-playing game elements created by Streum On Studio. It is the year 15 of the New Era (About 2395 CE), and the Federation (It’s always, always a fucking federation, isn’t it?) has total and dictatorial control over ~1,200 worlds. However, things are not going well: violent crime and piracy are not only rampant, but absolutely endemic, even expected on most Federation worlds. Strange and terrible creatures known collectively as the Metastreumonic Force have ravaged any world already desolated by human industry. Megacorporations rule pretty much everything. In the midst of this horror and chaos, a shadowy and clandestine group called the Secreta Secretorum has returned to prominence. Once, they were demon hunters and mystics, fighting against the Metastreumonic Force alongside the Federation, but now horrified by its total control over so many worlds, they have decided to rebel against them, using the chaos of looter bands and Force attacks to their advantage. However, things are not going well for the Secreta either. The group is split by factional infighting, as the Culter Dei and the Jian Shang Di groups each struggle for power and influence within the Secreta Secretorum. In this moment, the Culters have made a move to strike at “an influential Jian mentor”. You were assigned to a special task force sent to complete this mission, but you wake up in a cave, amnesiac, and must piece together your past, the plot, your loyalties, etc. As a direct result of your amnesia, people assume you’re stupid because you ask basic questions. Are you stupid? Only one way to find out.

I swear to the heavens that the above splash image is not a Space Marine.

So, another FPS, this one with the RPG mechanics that were really popular with FPS’s for a while.This is one of those games where I seem to have more bad to say about it than good, and yet I end up enjoying it anyway. See also: Shadow the Hedgehog.

So how about that visual aesthetic, eh? Basically, take Warhammer 40k, Shadowrun, Crysis, and whatever other cyberpunk/dystopic sci-fi you wanna think of, toss it all in a blender, and Divine Cybermancy is basically what you get from it. Sadly, while they were busy stealing elements wholesale from wherever they could, they decided that having interesting or multi-colored backgrounds was overrated, and that having interesting and distinct character models was more so. This actually makes it a little bit difficult to determine which enemies have which weapons and abilities. In fact, there are like, 3 character models per faction? Maybe? In addition, the lack of diverse backgrounds makes it a little bit difficult to know where you’ve been before in a level. All in all, while the aesthetic is interesting prima facie, it rather quickly becomes a mass of dull colors and confusing visuals.

Quick, semi-related note: the dialogue translations are a little bit not-the-best. I had originally thought that the game was translated from Russian, but I later read that it was translated by a Frenchman who knew no English at all. So, either this mysterious Frenchman is translating from Russian into English, or from French into English. Either way, the translations are impressive... for someone who speaks no English. Some of them do get really weird later on though, so... eh, we’ll give the translations a C+ and move on, shall we?

Speaking of men, this game is an absolute sausage fest. Like, there are literally no female characters to speak of, except for a particular female enemy type among the aforementioned Metastreumonic Force. I mean, c’mon Streum On Studio, even W40K has the Sisters of Battle, and I’m sure Crysis had a lady or two. Although... almost every character has a full helmet and body armor. So I suppose, they could be women underneath all that armor. But I know for a fact that almost all the main characters are dudes.

Speaking of dudes, the tutorial is rubbish. It’s a basic level through a cave and then a sewer system, and every time a new mechanic comes up, the game will helpfully prompt you to press the T key to bring up the list of tutorial videos. Really sloppy, actually, when you could easily build a tutorial into a game like this. Although, it controls more or less like a standard FPS, so I don’t begrudge it too much, I suppose.

Speaking of grudges, there is no functioning save system. Like, at all. The game supposedly auto-saves your progress at the start of every mission, and also at the mission’s conclusion, but missions can be really long and arduous, and even then, I have encountered at least one glitch (I imagine it’s a rare one), which deleted all my progress and booted me to just after I finished the tutorial level. Without any explanation. Or warning. It was a very trying moment for me. Manly cyberpunk tears were shed.

Speaking of other game elements to pick at, if that exposition up there made no sense to you, don’t worry. It confused they heck out of me as well, but I sorta liked it anyway. Not everyday that you see the the obligatory human Federation as the bad guys. Hell, their footsoldiers are literally the Helghast from Crysis. PEOPLE WHO MADE CRYSIS DON’T SUE THESE PEOPLE, ETC. That said, the plot your character goes through is a bit of a mess, at least, to begin with. You start in a dream, where you learn you’ve killed your mentor, and then you get dropped into the beginner cave, and everyone acts like you should know everything about this world already, but you know nothing, Jon Snow. This results in compounded confusion, especially since the historical archives your allies give you access to only detail the past millennia, not really immediate events. Regardless, I’m sure the plot pans out... somehow.

^(I’m putting thus here only to prove a point about the visual similarities between these enemies and the ones in Crysis. You guys, pleeeeaaaase don’t sue Streum. It’d make me sad.)^

Now, some of the things I’ve described are not without their qualifications. Por exemple, while the visuals are generally dull, are some genuinely impressive shots one can get if they position themselves well. The game is a bit like having a lovely view out your living room window... of a totally urban environment created by someone who subsists on cigarettes and cyber-spite.

^(A vibrant, dystopic paradise...

... the halls of power in an ancient temple...

... and choice monster ass. What more could you ask for?)^

Even all that is dressing and crust for the moment-to-moment gameplay. And that gameplay is actually quite entertaining! It facilitates a variety of gameplay styles. You wanna be a cold sniper, casually making headshots against gormless assholes? Go for it! Wanna be a psy-wizard? Do it! Tech-berserker? The world is yours! Hacker extraordinaire? Enemies are hackable; hack ‘em all! Each of those gameplay styles is not only viable, but entertaining as fuuuuuuuuck. Getting regular headshots made me feel like a Shinigami, and when I was done with that character and wanted something more hands-on; well, let’s just say the transmutation of monsters into monster corpses was made all the more enjoyable with the aid of my exploding sword.

The RPG elements work well enough, and are pretty bog-standard. You get experience points for killing enemies and completing missions, and every time you get enough, you gain a level, giving you 3 skill points to distribute among your many abilities. In addition, you can equip a number of items, each of which take up a certain amount of space in your inventory. These items and your armor determine, along with your agility stat, your movement speed.

^(My tank character’s sheet. Stats on the right, derivatives on the left.)^

You may also invest in cybernetics which increase your stats or give you special abilities, or in psionic powers which are essentially magical. Each of these cost mone -- Oh, I’m sorry, brouzoufs -- and while they seem really cool, I often found that my first brouzoufs went into research. Oh yeah, you can research things in this game. These researches can grant you the use of new items, or improve your stats, or merely unlock new research topics. Really, there’s a lot to spend your resources on, whether it’s skill points or brouzoufs.

Nəticədə, I had a hard time with this game. I loved the pizza that was the gameplay, but not as much the toppings that were the ancillary bits. I’d recommend it to very patient sci-fi/cyberpunk fans, mostly. If you’re patient with the game’s faults, the game will prove quite an enjoyable experience. I would only return to playing it if I had a lot more time on my hands, honestly.

^(Of course, the best thing about the game are these friends.)^

[sleepymarmot]

MEA liveblog #7

Spoilers!

Multiplayer

This interface is a mess. I move my mouse onto "exit lobby" and it turns into "kick player". Buttons just jump around and transform all the time.

And the APEX mission shit needs to be fixed. When you select a mission to play, don't direct me to lobbies who play the same enemy/map/difficulty but not as the mission! Join lobby, see "custom", exit lobby, select "custom game", re-select mission, join, end up in the same lobby, rinse, repeat...

At least I can end up second when I join on wave 5 as a human vanguard lol

F Human Vanguard card!

Tempest

Non-custom weapons of different rank shouldn't exist as separate items in the inventory! Unlocking a higher rank should upgrade the old item like in ME3! This stupid inventory system exists solely because of crafting! If you need inventory limits so much, let them apply only to the crafted items! I've already complained about rewards being lost with no warning if the inventory is full and it's still bullshit! 

I crafted the N7 chestpiece! 25% shield on kill (of course), 5% damage resistance, 2% shield restoration, 2% health&shield regen speed, 2% max shield. I called it "N7 Slayer X". And turns out, it was dad's armor...

Oh right, it needs a new color scheme!

Havarl

I like this ex-STG, he's talking properly.

I don't like the sound effect from Annihilation -- it's like water in my ears!

Hey Peebs, how do you immediately know where the next piece is as soon as we pick the current one?

Kadara

Here's the bar fight. Animation is not bad but has no energy.

Told the asari dancer that I'm done here and she needs to talk to the dude herself, but the quest still sends me back to him -_-

Tempest

So, Kesh was adopted?

Okay, Kalinda is 100% Marjolaine. Peebee's personal storyline is even more copy-pasted from Leliana than Drack's is copypasted from Wrex.

Aya

So many sidequests again!

The Moshae's words about the definition of victory! That's the smartest thing I've heard in this game in hours.

It's really weird to hear her talk so sweetly to me... When we first met she didn’t seem to like me.

When Vetra said people were staring at her, I couldn't resist suggesting they're just all in love...

I suggested taking people who sold their Aya slots onto the Nexus. That's not even charity -- the same ambassador gave me a task to convince angara to come there anyway! So this would kill two birds with one stone.

For the visitor who wanted contact with his family, I had to reload. The options didn't even seem too different... Got it right for the other two: gave an honest professional answer about health issues, and a confident casual answer about finding work.

Great, now I have to head back into the city to buy stuff... This is literally a fetch quest lol

Eos

Omg, the Architect is in orbit now!

The Roekaar fight in an old settlement was very chaotic and fun with Flamethrower/ED/Lance, though it'd probably be easier to just charge

Tempest

Aaaand Jaal gives me his loyalty mission. It's funny that I'm going to do my own love interest's mission last...

Jaal's LM

I continue to be unimpressed with the Roekaar being pure antagonists. :/

Didn't shoot the guy, told Jaal he was badass.

Why are loyalty missions so short?

BTW Ryder just looks wrong in N7 armor... She's not Shepard, that's not her allegiance or her story.

Tempest

Jaal, just as we're leaving Havarl you decided to invite me for a visit down there?

Turian ark

Avitus has very stylish armor

For fuck's sake, Bioware, why do you hate gay men so much?

I convinced Avitus to take the mantle. It was a very sentimental decision for Ryder -- because her situation is very similar. Her SAM and the connection he had with her father are unique, but she didn't think of that in that moment.

Nexus

"Better to find your wings as you fly" Easy for you to say, Sarissa, your predecessor wasn't a loved one

Tempest

I'd agree with Peebee about relationship and baggage, but of course I felt obligated to take the romantic option

(I don’t think there’s an option to agree with her, though, so it’s only for the best)

Voeld

Liam, Vetra, don't fight!

Whoops, sorry for leaving you to die in the purification field, Vetra

...I liked the old color scheme better. Green light looks more alien, but less pretty.

Nexus

Final memory -- here we go!

My theory was that the Archon was somehow Ellen, but that made so little sense I didn't even write it down :D This is simpler.

BTW there's finally Shepard's gender we had to select in the beginning -- in translated subtitles :D Didn't hear it even once in the audio -- could it be Bioware actually took their foreign audience into consideration? :O

Honestly, it's weird that the Reapers info is so secret... From the OT I got the impression that Shepard was yelling about it to everyone at every opportunity...

Fine, fine, you made me emotional with Liara's message.

Shit, I was expecting this decision...

I feel pretty sad now. That's all?

Peebee's LM

Oh, so that's why she lives in an escape pod :D I thought this was only a characterization thing, not a Chekhov's gun!

I said I wasn't mad, though I was a bit. But I mean Ryder *is* mad but also having the time of her life so...

Shit I just shot Kalinda instinctively lmao

Ok I replayed the entire sequence and Idk. This is really the hardest choice in the game...

I'm tempted to say "Yes, literally" :D

Since it's so hard to reaload, it's fair game to watch videos before deciding for myself. Okay, "Yes, literally" is way too harsh.

Alright, this Ryder is not going to make Peebee sad, but I've already planned a Renegade-ish playthrough with a Ryder who values knowledge over everything, so... :D

(Btw, I love that MEA's brand of a more ruthless protagonist is not "uncontrollable brute" but "intellectual snob". As tedious as this game is, I'm already super eager to play character who has those values & takes urgency of tasks seriously.)

This mission is enjoyable and the choice feels maybe the most meaningful... But it has all the classic Mass Effect problems. Kalinda sends a shitload of people to murder us, we murder them, but when she's helpless and we have a finger on the trigger all of that suddenly doesn't matter. Sidonis all over again. Sure, murdering people begging for help is bad in a lot of ways, but she did just try to kill us, a lot of times... Plus, why the fuck can't Ryder jump over and catch the Remnant thing?! That needed to be a second, Paragon interrupt after the Renegade "shoot her." And Ryder is a goddamn biotic, as is Peebee, as is Kalinda! Peebee, Pull is your first goddamn skill! It'd actually be completely plausible if the artifact had shields and/or armor and therefore immune to Pull or Singularity -- but not giving the characters even an idea to try is just stupid!

Tempest

Inviting Peebee to live with together made me revisit my room and inspired me to make some changes. You know what, I'm going to play music in my quarters and change into the short-sleeved pajamas. It's my own ship, why do I walk around it in street clothes? The jacket is stylish but too much to wear at home. I wish we had a "formal" outift for Nexus/Aya/other hubs in addition to the "casual" clothes we wear on the ship.

Shit I went to read someone's post about Peebee's LM and caught a spoilers about the romance post-LM

Addison is right, getting pregnant in that situation was irresponsible

Ah the continuity in this game. "Found more outposts"? I have every possible outpost and all planets at 100%!

"On hold: Place an outpost" bitch where

Voeld

What, there's still a cold hazard?! What was the point of the vault, then?!

Whoa, so the angara believe exaltation not just kills their people but destroys their immortal souls? Wow! That should have been said by a major character during the main story, not by an easily missed NPC!

Oh great, I died and the game refuses to load the last autosave

Dear game. Why did you create four autosaves for the same second. All glitched. Half hour of gameplay lost... God please let the last manual save work. I was sure I saved in between, but just now my PC decided that we still have daylight savings clock change when we do not, and the timestamps on all recent saves are messed up. This especially sucks because I'm trying to rush Peebee's romance because I don't know when the sex scene comes up but I want to make sure it's not when my mom is home while I play it on her PC lol

Tempest

Fuck, that was cute! And Peebee did tackle Ryder, as promised! :D I wonder what she says through Zap in the platonic version...

Addison please don't say the baby screams "like a banshee". I fucking jumped.

"Before you say anything: no PDAs" :D

Level 50! Time to craft myself a powerful new Dhan. I've been running with rank three all this time...

I love that whenever you ask about Kalinda and then return to the general dialogue tree you say "Let's talk about something else" and Peebee responds "YES. Please."

Voeld

Alright, so: the kett leaders are dissatisfied with the Archon because he hasn't reported to them recently, the communication with the kett homeworld(?) might be disrupted in general and the Scourge might be to blame.

Tempest

Damn, SAM has a pretty insightful speech about death! The only thing that can't be rationalized after experiencing it, which is why it fascinates. I actually haven't heard it explained this way before.

My movie night quest hasn't progressed since I brought Jaal his device...

Eos

Ryder watching and playing football with two giant guns floating near her hips... omg

Elaaden/Kadara

What? I'm completely confused by all these identical salarians.

I don't understand this choice. He promises to give us the intel if we let him go... what proof do we have besides his word? And how would arresting him stop us from getting intel from his computer etc?

Reloaded to see both options, chose to arrest him

Havarl

I'm not hugging Jaal's mother wtf

Ryder has surprisingly good facial animation when Jaal shows his mementos

In theory Ryder should like Jaal for being such a nerd but the only thing he makes me feel is mild irritation. His interest in "taking things apart" is an informed quality just like his supposed emotional openness. It's not reflected in his dialogue or storyline at all.

And now I'm finished with all quests in the ally category. I wanted to finish the game asap, but now that we know the patch is coming on Thursday, I'll wait for it.

Multiplayer

Extracted from Silver for the first time as Human Vanguard (level 8, rank IV)! It was against Remnant, so Observers and Destroyers were the only problem. Nullifiers are ridiculously easy for a melee character -- like Ravagers, but without acid.

Got Krogan Vanguard from a pack. Will I have to tolerate the Rage overlay?

The first game with Kroguard was going well, he's got a stong melee even though he's slow... and then wave 6/upload/Kett killed us all :(

Completely unrelated to anything, but I just realized that if you pick the romantic option in the escape pod with Peebee, they don't actually have sex. Call me stupid because that's what Peebee's initial condition is, but I thought Ryder's response changed her mind! When Ryder said "Let's not rush things" I interpreted and meant it in the emotional sense, as "It'd be dishonest to hide that I have a crush on you, but you don't owe me anything, and if you don't ready for a Serious Relationship and Grand Romance yet that's fine because I'm not either, so let's just hook up and leave reflection for later" -- which I thought was pretty sweet and interesting? Because this whole relationship to me was built on the fascinating contrast between Peebee's emotional reservations and casual/flirty attitude, and conversely, on Ryder very consciously respecting Peebee's emotional space. Maybe I just fundamentally don't understand sex and romance lmao. But if character A propositions character B, character B says they have feelings for character A, and the scene promptly fades to black, I assume they do the do because that's how these things are filmed? Only in comparison with the other option, which is actually pretty explicit, it became obvious to me that's not what the director meant. I'm pretty disappointed because I thought it was a good subversion of Jack's "either sex or romance" thing in ME2. And it messes with my headcanon/characterization... I guess I'll have to retcon it into one of the two options. I'll probably go with casual, not romantic in that case. But I just read that Peebee will tell you she's glad you said no, so... :/

Multiplayer

Failed a Silver APEX mission agains the Remnant as a human vanguard :(

Got an asari sentinel!

The patch is here, but I can't launch the game now :( This needs some work.

Ugh, I stop playing for two days and have no motivation to pick the game up again...

[todisturbtheuniverse]

horizon: zero dawn updates...

we’ve now unlocked the full map. there’s bits here and there where we haven’t actually been, but it’s all visible, thanks to our dedicated seeking of the tallnecks (they unlock a segment of the map and note landmarks in the area). i will say that the western 2/3 is more populated with quests than the eastern 1/3, but still not overflowing with them. and we’ve made it to level 46 in about 44 hours of gameplay. madness.

a few great characters have crossed our path that i like in particular: avad, the new sun king of the carja, who’s working hard to dismantle his vicious father’s legacy; talanah, a hawk at the hunter’s lodge, working to avenge the deaths of her father and brother; vanasha, an agent working to dismantle the shadow carja from within. don’t want to spoil too much about their stories, but they’re great. and vanasha has abs for days. le wow.

major plot spoilers after this, FYI.

we’ve progressed far enough in the plot to know what brought about the end of the old ones. in the 2060s-ish, warfare had been reduced to automation; there were no more soldiers, just robots fighting for corporations, nations, etc. one of the major producers of these robots, a trillionaire named ted faro, makes an error. sends a bot into the field that 1) feeds on bio-mass and 2) can self-replicate. there’s a glitch in the line, it begins to ignore the chain of command, attacks everything on sight. 

he brings in dr. elisabet sobeck to try and fix this. they used to work together, before his company veered into creating machines of warfare and she left the company. she finds that there is no way whatsoever to stop these machines in the “traditional” sense, by throwing more machines at them, because they’ve learned to corrupt any opposition--override them, turn them to their side. they’re too smart, the swarm network is eating the world, etc. so she proposes “project zero dawn.” we don’t know what it is yet, just that it was the only, last-ditch effort to preserve humanity.

whatever it was, faro was horrified by it, but given the alternative (let the machines suck the world dry in literally eighteen months, a total extinction event) he agreed to foot the bill for it. sobeck goes to the head of u.s. military and informs them of the situation. the military creates “operation enduring victory”: a last-ditch attempt to hold the machines off until project zero dawn can be completed.

they manage to complete it, whatever it is, barely a day before the machines break the held lines protecting the project. we don’t know what it did yet, but my money’s on the ultimate EMP, something that crashed all machinery, all technology, in the world. and the humans that were left had to learn to live without it.

so the weird thing about all this is that sobeck is a spitting-image match for aloy. like, the reason aloy gets into these old bunkers, finds this old information, is because she’s literally a 99.47% match to sobeck. the bunkers think she is sobeck; that’s why they let her in. soooooooo is aloy a clone? given that the machines are becoming “corrupt” again in present-time--more aggressive, etc.--maybe this is an endless cycle: the threat rises, and a clone of sobeck rises to stop it.

the corrupted machine network now is calling itself “hades.” again, my money’s on it being the ghost of the swarm--the surviving bit, somehow, of those machines one thousand years ago that were theoretically defeated by sobeck. hades calls aloy “the entity” and has been sending cultists and machines to kill her, without success.

oh yeah, the cultists. some extremist shadow carja believes that gaining control of these machines will allow him to...what, take over the sundom? maybe the whole world? so he’s presiding over this faction that’s trying to corrupt machines and kill aloy, at hades’ bidding. they were trying to wake up this reaaaaaaalllllllyyyy big machine that was frozen, dead in place at an old u.s. base. like, the thing is so huge that we rode down the mountain on one of its super-long arms. roller-coaster style. it’s like a fucking kraken. terrifying.

ngl, the bunkers where we found all this information were...chilling. you find the logs of soldiers sent into the meat grinder to hold off these machines. machines that aloy now struggles with one-on-one--the corrupter, the deathbringer, etc--they had to fight those things en masse. people are dying en masse. the general leading u.s. military forces acknowledges that in those eighteen months, he presides over the greatest slaughter of mankind, ever. i mean, it’s the oldest sci-fi trope in the book--technology ends up killing us all, etc--but...the world’s first trillionaire is really the root cause. faro is too over-confident. nearly destroys the whole damn world because he’s not careful enough, because he used his power and prestige and wealth to automate warfare. and sobeck manages to save it. ultimate analogy for woman cleaning up men’s messes, huh?

also, world geography has changed...uh...a lot. it probably had something to do with project zero dawn, but it’s like the entire southern hemisphere shifted about 180 degrees: africa is now smashed up into the US, and south america is connected to europe/asia. australia’s still floating out there, by itself. aloy comes across a world globe in one of the bunkers, and by matching the map that we see against it, we can tell we’re on the northeastern seaboard of the US--though it’s certainly not the same shape as it used to be.

we probably won’t get much more story done before we leave for the weekend, unfortunately. we’ve hit a point that’s flagged pretty heavily as a “point of no return,” so we want to make sure we get all the important side missions done before passing that, which could take some time.

[uniformbravo]

hmm couldnt stop thinking abt wreck-it ralph 2 so here’s some Thoughts (things i didn’t like, things i would have changed. u know how it is)

obligatory disclaimer im not calling myself an Expert™ here im just letting off some steam ok don’t take this as a legitimate effort gnfkgn

ok so my initial thoughts after seeing this movie were that it was a complete mess, there’s a ton of clutter that doesn’t need to be there, too much random shit is introduced in the late game. but then i was like. well not totally?? regarding that last point at least; it felt like the virus was this random plot point they decided to pull in outta nowhere just to create a big dramatic climax, but the concept actually was introduced at the beginning of the movie? when ralph & vanellope are hanging out in the tron game & it glitches & they’re like well shit. this is what ralph specifically calls back to when he gets the idea to use a virus on the slaughter race game later on, so it’s not like the movie pulled this out of thin air, it did kind of lay the groundwork beforehand. kind of. except that even then it still doesn’t really feel like it

like, it’s honestly a pretty weak connection? this virus that ralph uses is kind of a Big Deal because it directly leads to his & vanellope’s fight and then the literal climax of the movie, they have to fight this thing to save the Entire Internet, but the point where the concept is introduced during the tron scene feels so easily dismissed in comparison. Like, it doesn’t feel dangerous in any way, it’s just kind of like “aw shucks, looks like we can’t play in tron anymore, oh well” and that tonal dissonance makes for a super weak setup. i mean, fuck, ralph literally had to have dialogue reminding you that it even happened just so he could connect it to this new plot point, which is pretty fuckin bad tbh!

there’s also the fact that it wasn’t even a virus in the tron game in the first place. it was literally just a glitch, and the connection between that and this virus was “well that glitch made the game not fun so vanellope didn’t want to play it anymore, so maybe i can use a virus to get the same effect in slaughter race!” which. doesn’t even technically make it a real callback, it literally is just introducing a new element in the late game, therefore making it feel v abrupt and out of place in the story.

i think it could have been integrated better if the tron thing and the virus were actually the same thing? and there could have been more importance placed on the tron scene, like instead of just making it this throwaway little “ralph & vanellope are friends!” scene it coulda been like “oh shit watch out for viruses, they are dangerous and will fuck up your game!” which would have made ralph’s conscious decision to use one later way more impactful, since the audience would have had that association from before

now. speaking of ralph using the virus. we come to my biggest issue w/ the movie,,

i... hate how they handled the conflict between ralph & vanellope’s arcs lol. i mean, it starts with a genuinely interesting concept: ralph and vanellope are best friends. vanellope feels trapped by how small and limiting the world of her game is, she’s itching for something new and exciting to break up the monotony; she needs change. ralph is happy with the way things are to the point that he fears change and will actively work against it; he has become overbearing and clingy and needs to learn to give his friend space. this isn’t a bad premise at all, but the way it’s handled is so. oof

so, they go into the internet, right, and vanellope finds this game, slaughter race, that is the epitome of everything she loves and has been yearning for; violence, cool cars, like-minded people. she starts to hang out with the characters there, and ralph sees this as a threat to his friendship with vanellope, so he decides to infect the game with a virus to make it boring and hopefully make vanellope lose interest. again, not bad ideas for an interesting narrative! where it falls apart is in the execution

first of all, this is obviously toxic ass behavior. like, just a really shitty thing to do. vanellope found something that makes her happy, and ralph wants to drag her away from it just so she’ll spend more time with him, and not make any other friends besides him. it’s garbage behavior. this would be completely fine if the movie didn’t treat ralph like?? a victim??? rather than a person who made a shitty decision????

like okay yes they do make it clear that this was Not The Right Thing To Do, but the whole time there’s this attitude of like.... i think they’re trying really hard to push ralph as this dumb lovable guy who means well but messes up despite his good intentions, so when he does mess up & do something shitty it’s with this kind of earnest attitude that makes him still feel like The Good Guy

like when he does that to vanellope the tone is a lot more lighthearted than it should be, he’s standing there literally going “hmm how can i stop her from leaving me,., i know, i’ll take away the thing she loves so she has no choice but to come back to me! what a good idea!” like he sees absolutely Nothing wrong with that. it really rubs me the wrong way, like they’re almost trying to get you to root for ralph in this situation, like they want you to want ralph to succeed in doing this awful thing so he can succeed and “save” his friendship w/ vanellope

it would have been different if like, going off of the other idea i had about the virus, right. it’s now the same virus from the tron game, so the audience already knows about it and how dangerous it is because they were warned about it at the beginning of the movie. ralph also knows this, but he decides to use it anyway because he’s that desperate and afraid to lose vanellope. the scene where he makes this decision, rather than having him belt out the plot synopsis version of his thought process, is more dramatic, weighty. we see him really Thinking about it, weighing the options in his mind, it’s clear that he understands the consequences. 

this way there is already some guilt in the equation from the beginning so that when it blows up in his face and almost literally kills vanellope there is a real Consequence to his mistake, and it’s a harsh wakeup call as to how horrible he’s actually being. like a “i knew it was wrong and i did it anyway, so now i pay the price” kind of thing, instead of the movie’s “oh no!! i didn’t know it would be this bad!!! i thought i would just be ruining things for my best friend in a harmless way!!” like, the movie really wants to take the blame off of ralph and make him seem as innocent as possible and it’s a Real Bad Look imo.

changing things this way would also give their subsequent fight a lot more punch because instead of ralph being like “ghfnkgjsdkg i didn’t mean to!!!!1” he would be like “i did a bad thing and i’m sorry” and when vanellope feels betrayed and denounces their friendship (as she has every right to) it would feel so much more deserved and therefore painful, the Good kind of painful that this movie tried to have & desperately needed to do well

it also would have been good for ralph’s individual character development, because hmm what were some of the major themes from the first movie? being a bad guy? making an effort to do good in spite of that?? being a hero??? being mindful of your actions and the effect they have on the people around you???? not to mention the WHOLE thing about him desperately trying to break out of the box the label “bad guy” had put him in, and how now in THIS movie vanellope is essentially trying to do the same thing? how now ralph is the one literally trying to force her back into that box (in this case, her game) just so that things are easier for him??? do u see where im going here

this could be the point where ralph realizes he needs to let vanellope go & chase her own happiness because he remembers how terrible it felt being forced into a role that made him miserable. he can now see how suffocating and toxic he’s being and there’s no need for a fucking Ralph Virus to come along and tell him that to his face because he’s emotionally intelligent and capable of deep personal introspection and deserves way more credit than this movie gives him, god

eliminating the need for the ralph virus is good because 1. who thought that was a good idea, it shattered what little was left of my suspension of disbelief instantly and 2. it once again took the weight of villainy off of ralph’s shoulders by giving the movie an even Bigger Baddie to compare him to, thereby making him the lesser immediate evil (like, it pulls all his toxic behavior away from him and dumps it instead into this big “”Evil”” caricature version of ralph so that the Real ralph can be the Good Guy and take it down)

instead of that, give ralph the benefit of figuring out his own shit, and then reveal that the virus wasn’t destroyed in the slaughter race reboot and is now infecting various parts of the internet (it’s been at it this whole time, but only got noticed after it had spread too wide to contain, it’s a Real Big Problem now. also it’s just a Normal Not Ralph Virus, Just A Plain Old Good Ol’ Fashioned Monster). have him go after it on his own, to take responsibility for the thing that was His Fuckin Fault, symbolizing him acknowledging how serious and destructive his obsession with vanellope has become and trying to fix it. get vanellope involved. have them figure out their shit

the climax can play out however, just the most important things in the end are that ralph gives a real apology, shows that he really learned his lesson, maybe gives some kind of speech about it, and there’s no bullshit where vanellope realizes he was just insecure & therefore his actions are more understandable, the resolution comes from ralph apologizing honestly and expecting nothing in return and vanellope being touched by this and giving him a second chance because he is her best friend and she knows him well enough to see that he genuinely has learned from this experience and will strive to do better and she loves and trusts him and was never going to leave him behind in the first place because their bond is so strong & there’s still the thing where she gets to live in slaughter race & they keep in touch long distance now bc that was a good way to show that ralph has learned his lesson & is now giving vanellope the space she needs and both of their arcs are resolved and their friendship is stronger than ever despite (or rather because of) change, happily ever after, the end

sorry i got tired but u know, w/e; points were made, rambles were had, mission accomplished. may i never spend this much time or effort thinking about this movie again, amen