#*one of your girls by troye sivan is playing in the background*

[amiracleilluminated]

[braidlottie]

give me a call if you ever get desperate.

pairing: mommy!lottie x transmasc!reader

summary: after a long day at the compound, lottie gives you a call to relieve some of her stress.

tags: smut, nsfw, 18+ (minors dni), phone sex!!!,,, mommy kink, vibrator, fingering, masturbation, the use of “mommy’s boy/good boy/little boy”, mommy!lottie bein soft as always :p

wc: 983

taglist: @antlerbf @deerlottie @theyellowjacketschewtoy @girltwinklater @kessellluvr @lotties-ashwagandha

title inspired by one of your girls by troye sivan

it was just any random night. you were on the couch, your feet kicked up, playing some video games. you were waiting for lottie to get home. which seemed like forever.

she said she would be late today, but you didn’t think “10 pm” late. your phone rang on the other side of the couch, and you stretched to grab it.

it was lottie. you smiled, pressing the green phone button and holding it up to your ear.

“hi, mommy.”

“hi, darling.” you knew she was smiling on the other side. “miss you.” you pouted, pausing your game. “i miss you too, my sweetheart. we’ve had some new people join the community and i’m completely swarmed with paperwork. that's why i had to come in so early this morning.”

“i’m sorry.”

“oh, don't be, darling. it’s not your fault. just, tell me about your day. i need to get my mind off of this for a little while.”

“i slept in and woke up at 12, then i ordered pizza, and i’ve been one the couch ever since. playing video games.” your eyes drifted to the pizza box on the coffee table, a few slices that you left for lottie in case she was hungry when she got back.

“well, that sounds fun. better than the day i’ve had.”

there was silence for a moment before lottie spoke again. “i bet you look so adorable right now. what are you wearing?” she questioned, her voice low and scratchy. you scoffed playfully, your cheeks burning. “uh, just a white tee and those new sweats you bought me. and some socks.”

“no underwear?”

you tipped your head back and groaned, smiling bashfully at the ceiling. “stopppp. you know what i mean.”

“i’m just messing, baby.” you heard some background noise on the phone before lottie spoke again. “you should take those pants off for me.”

“mommy...”

“do as mommy says, sweetheart.” the switch to her mommy voice was turned on now, and you knew it wasn’t turning off any time soon. raising your hips off the couch, you pulled down your sweats with your free hand, just to your ankles. “they’re off.”

“that’s my good boy.”

your briefs were getting a little too tight, sticking to your cunt as you got wetter (and harder) for your mommy. “i want you touch yourself for a little while. can you do that for mommy, sweetheart?”

“yeah..” you put lottie on speaker mode before you brought the pads of your fingers to the small tent in your briefs, rubbing the cloth-covered head in little circles. a shiver went down lottie’s spine when she heard you whine. your whines got louder and once your hands went into your boxers. “oh- fuck, mommy.”

“that’s it, such a good fucking boy. mommy’s boy.” she got up and locked her office door, feeling herself getting aroused by your sweet little moans. “why don’t you go get your new toy, hmm? that’ll get you to cum so hard for mommy.”

“mm.. okay, mommy.” you left the phone on the couch, taking off your the rest of your clothes before going to the bedroom and grabbing your vibrator and coming back to the living room, this time, laying back on the couch with your legs spread and stretched out. without even telling lottie you were back, you clicked on the buzzing toy and rested it on your t-dick, gasping at the feeling.

“keep making those pretty little noises for mommy.” lottie’s hand pulled her kaftan open, taking it off and hanging it on her chair, finally rubbing her throbbing, aching clit, letting out a desperate moan. “mommy?” you couldn’t believe she was touching herself at work.

“oh baby, mommy just couldn’t help herself. you sound so sweet. it was driving me crazy.” she let out another moan that was a little higher than the last. she shut her eyes, just picturing the thought of you rocking your hips against that vibrator-

“mm- mommy, ’m gonna cum.” you turned the toy to the highest speed, your back arching off the couch. “wait for me baby. mommy’s so close.” you knew lottie’s panties were soaked, you could hear the squelching noise of her wetness as her fingered herself. “mommy, please…”

“oh, i know.. i know, baby boy. is it hard? is it so hard without mommy there to help you, huh?”

you whined, tears pricking in your eyes. you were nodding when you realized lottie couldn’t see your reply. “y-yes. i need you. i’m gonna- fuck.” your breathing was fast and sharp, letting lottie catch up to you. “hold it for me, darling, you’re doing so good. mommy’s getting so close.”

your poor little cock couldn’t take the feeling anymore, your brain getting so fuzzy and your stomach filled with butterflies. lottie’s moans made you even needier, wishing she was next to you instead of 30 minutes away at work.

“shit- i’m cumming, baby. cum with mommy.”

the two of you released simultaneously, your moans clashing together. it was music to your ears.

after the climax, it was silent expect you the sounds of heavy breathing. you threw the toy on the carpeted floor, turning over on your stomach. “you okay, baby?” lottie was trying to collect herself as well. you hummed, burying your head into a throw pillow.

“feeling sleepy?”

your eyes fluttered shut, smiling contently. lottie could read you like a book, even when she couldn’t see you. “nuh uh.”

“i know you are, my baby. i’ll leave the rest of this work for later.” you heard her gathering her things. “i need to see my little boy. think you’ll still be awake when i get back?”

you opened one eye to stare at the phone. “maybe not.” you slurred, lottie’s chuckle faint. “i love you, good boy.”

“love you too, mommy.” you mumbled sleepily, lottie hanging up so you could get some rest.

[sunmovesbehindyou]

here’s a baby blurb of my new oneshot One of Your Girls … coming out on a website near you soon! (it’s basically if tyler was gay icon troye sivan and josh was in a different band)

One of Your Girls started playing, and the crowd cheered loudly. Smirking to himself, he began singing the first verse, subtly beckoning Josh to come out before he started the chorus. As soon as he walked out on stage, a chair in hand, the crowd roared. It fueled Tyler.

Tyler positioned himself in front of Josh before slowly dropping to the floor, his legs spreading out in front of his viewers. Running his hand down his thigh, he relaxed on his shins, titling his torso back so that his body was further in between Josh’s legs. The entire time, Josh’s eyes were locked on Tyler, staring at the way the black corset he wore hugged his figure. It would be a blatant lie to say he didn’t look good.

Tyler could feel Josh’s breath as he leaned forward towards him, his fingertips ghosting Tyler’s bicep. Glancing to his right with just his eyes, he was slightly surprised to see Josh so close to his face.

“Everybody wants you, babe…” Tyler sang, fully turning his head to look at Josh, whose lips were barely hovering over his neck now. It was shocking, honestly. Who thought he would do such a thing as a straight guy? Especially in front of an audience.

Smirking to himself, he switched the mic into his other hand, using his now free hand to tangle his fingers into Josh’s curls. His nose brushed against his neck, sending a wave of heat through Tyler’s body. The popstar broke his seductive look for a moment to grin, before quickly switching back into character.

Josh pulled back, his lips in a straight line as she shook his head. “Everybody!” The background track echoed, and Josh’s hands were on his shoulders, shoving him away. His touch was gentle, but Tyler fell forward to make it look rough. Now, he was on all fours, arching his back. Looking away for a moment, Josh crossed his arms, his lip in between his teeth.

If Josh wanted to play that game, he would too. Using the hand that didn’t have his mic, he slid it forward on the floor, arching his back towards Josh even further. Though Tyler couldn’t see it, Josh’s eyes remained glued to him. Whether it was for show or because he wanted to actually watch remained a mystery.

[mashmouths]

i was tagged by the wonderful @biolums to post the top 10 songs in my spotify on repeat playlist (thank you jace mwah ily <3)

"jason" by perfume genius (i feel like miss playlist needs to update bc i've listened to other songs more than her recently but who am i to disagree i guess) (i do loveeeeee this song to be clear)

"silly" by troye sivan (she was my background work song and also she's a bop in her own right <3)

"die 4 you" by dean (when will he return from the warrrrrrrrr i need morrrrreeeeeeeee i LOVE this song)

"water" by ten (what can i say she's cute she's fun she's everything)

"any" by skz (one of the songs of the century to me, she's gotten me through so much)

"la quebradora" by banda el recodo (listen to this song and you will understand) (that's an order)

"she's such a bitch" by mirage amuro (i am a weak man and this song is cunty what do you from me. i miss her............) (i'm fucking stressed about the lip sync lalaparuza this week but that's another story bc i get to see her hopefully redeem herself <3)

"quiereme" by johnny sky (i guess i was in a 2022 mood this last month? anyway listen to her she changed my life <3 i'm a bachata bitch)

"one of your girls" by troye sivan (self-explanatory) (also she was another work song but mostly she's just good)

"perfume" by dojaejung (she's groovy but to be so honest idk what she's doing here)

honorable mentions:

"heyday" is still on my on repeat and i feel like i've listened to her more than i've listened to "jason" recently so i really don't know what's going on at spotify hq? but i will be suing <3

"put my hands on you" by dean feat. anderson .paak bc i cannot get enough of her <3 <3 <3 shots of the chamiseul blue dream chief up jagiya iri wa palli wa kaja <3 <3 <3

"bizness" by tune-yards is a fucking banger and must-listen in my book, also it's proof that i do listen to cool alt-leaning music it's just that i play those albums more and one song on repeat less

also i've been super into artie shaw the last 2 days? i love trumpet and you should too <3

i'm tagging @waltzingbi @boupin @mikkouille @callisteios @kuchipachi @bulletsfrank @alienhazy and @limitedfucks but only if y'all want to, no pressure <3

[tmwcs]

got a challenge for you, your moots as songs go!!

hmmm....

i have quite a few that i consider moots but for the sake of time since i have to go help my mom out, i'll do the people that i am closest to....

@talesofyuan - I know she is fond of Japanese songs and I too listen to them quite frequently, mainly because of anime lol. But Inuyasha has always been (still is) my number one favorite anime of all time, and this song holds a special place in my heart because i would listen to it all the time after watching the show. literally. it's very calming and the lyrics are very becoming of strength, moving forward, and building courage. love it. i think it does well to represent Yuanwon-ie.

@iamliacamila - its a shame that this cover isn't on spotify, but for many reasons, i am dedicating THIS version of THIS song to the one and only Camila because i just know her love for Heeseung is strong....it is very strong. so when i hear this song (regardless which version) i think of her.

@nikstrange - My longtime heethan girl. Of course, when this track came out, I thought of heeseung with this one, and Ethan with chaconne. Doesn't matter which one i listen to, i'm going to think about her because i know just how much she loves heethan. the way she gets sooooo hyped up brings me up to the level of motivation i need, on days where i am so darn tired because i've been helping out the parents, or the weather is bad, and i just feel lazy, nikstrange has been my motivation to continue forth and produce content for yall. so thank her for like the timeliness of the postings. :)

@silcry - I like this song for silcry because, the lyrics and the beat is groovy (now mind you, based off the vlives, i am familiar with heeseung's choice of music, and i've listened to this song way before i discovered enhypen, but i think he would like this song) but also...i listen to this song quite a bit when i think about heethan for each chapter. and i know how much my silcry loves heethan with these wonderful asks i'm getting. keep it up! <3

@vampiregirl215 - so when i originally was drafting the teaser for SE7EN, i was listening to this song as i have alot of type O negative in my playlist and when i was drafting up Heelel's character, this song was literally just playing in the background and not so much the lyrics, but the beat of it just helped make me develop that deep and dark vibe of heelel...which i know my vamp-girl looooooves heelel. So everytime i listen to type O, especially this song, i think of heelel. I am dedicating this song to her because i love how she expresses her love for heelel. lol.

@jaehaki - my longtime supporter and reblogger, i have to use this song to reflect just how much this reader has lifted me by supporting me. literally an angel on earth! Muah! this song is for my jaehaki because, truly....they're an angel...and i love the way they always express their love or my works! so cute and funny!

@en-thralled or @angelsunoo - this beautiful person (pardon the tacky pun) but truly is a beautiful person inside and out because the moment they discovered my work, they have been such a joy and delight to interact with. i love the way they express their love for each chapter of SE7EN series, the message they sent where they were sooooooo delighted by one of the chapters they said "you little bitch!" and i loooooooved every single bit of it, it brought such a big smile on my face bc i knew they loved the chapter so much that they couldnt contain themselves. so beautiful!

@raishaii - My partner in crime! no matter what i write and what i warn people of, this person is truly a rose because they appreciate my work so much that they'll grin and bear through anything just to read my chapters and it tickles me and brings me joy. literally, when i think of roses, i think of Rai. Secret note, they dont know this but those banners i used in the recent SE7EN chapters, the ones with the red roses, I picked roses because i was thinking of raishaii since i was interacting with them through comments at the time about the latest chapters. <3

@stvrryhee - so i love this song ....sooooooo much and, i compare this song to my precious Stvrryhee because, whenever i read their comments on the latest chapters, it literally gives me the same rush of excitement and motivation that of a sugar rush, which brings me to this song. I love interacting with my readers and Stvrryhee is no exception, it's literally like a daily routine and i love it. i can't go on a day without my daily interactions with them. <3

@jinniespuppy - I love this song...ofc i love dua lipa and i also love elton john...so the two of them together is literally a masterpiece...just like this reader. she reaches out to me and expresses her love for my chapters in a very affectionate manner that just melts my heart. the love i have in reading her messages reminds me of the love i have for this song bc i truly do love it so much. <3

@lisaaannna - my little Fräu·lein! so one of my all time favorites from En- is this song...i just love this song, the up and catchy beat and not to mention, i do enjoy the choreography for it as well. I love this song so much just like i do with my lisanna. so smart and always so inquisitive, coming up with thoughts on heethan that inspires me to put some of the more sentimental moments in each chapter. so if you're looking to thank someone for the fluff and the very endearing moments of heethanxreaden, look no further, this girl had inspired the events for chapter 16 and 17 of HHP.

[stuckinapril]

Did you watch The Idol finale yet?

I wanna know your take on this dumpster fire!

It was awful, thank u for asking <33 the beginning didn’t make any sense (when did Tedros devolve from suave cult leader to street rat who doesn’t shower), Jocelyn’s arc didn’t make any sense (why is she abruptly a boss bitch who needs no man), Troye Sivan contributed nothing to the story, and oh my god do not get me started on Rachel Sennott and how her character did literally nothinggg. The only thing we got from this is music and fits. I think the wardrobe for Lily’s character was cool despite the on the nose sexualization (I loved her white dress look in the finale). I also think the wardrobe for the Levinson version is better than that for the Amy version (they leaked a while ago & I found the outfits mediocre).

My fav track ever that I rewinded for the longest time is A Lesser Man. It’s just mwah. I also rly loved One of the Girls, Fill the Void, and I’m a Freak (in that order). The Mike Dean synths paired w The Weeknd’s soulful Trilogy vibes were soo much fun to listen to. I also loved the theme score. I think it’s called The Lure on Spotify or something.

The whole plot twist about Jocelyn being this conniving mastermind left such a bad taste in my mouth. Like imagine the optics of making an abuse victim seem as though she’s the perpetrator / asked for the abuse, while letting the actual abuser / literal pimp off the hook (the angelic score playing in the background to Tedros’s reintroduction was so confusing, like I guess we’re just gonna forgive he’s a pimp???). It just goes to show where Levinson’s and The Weeknd’s headspaces were making this. Nothing at the end felt organic or deserved. It just felt forced and flat.

The finale wasn’t even fun bad. It was just boring bad & such a drag. This will not be winning an Emmy anytime soon (to no one’s surprise lmao)

[thwackamabob]

a 3am rant you should probably skip

the thing is: i can never seriously believe that me being trans is an issue when i'm trying to do this whole music thing, or else i will blame everything on that instead of trying to work through it. but it sucks. idk, i've just been thinking that maybe you can find success if you're trans, but only if you're the acceptable kind. if you're transfem you better never let anyone know, you stay in the background, or you cover your voice in so many layers of pitch-shifting and distortion that no one can tell that testosterone touched you. the inverse is also true i think, but you can come out of the other side. you can pass as a cis man when singing after long enough on t. whereas i'm just here forever. and then ethel fucking cain comes along and sounds like *that* despite everything and then i can't blame my transness anymore. but god do i want to be normal. i don't want to have to be a fucking genius with interconnected worlds and concept albums who produces and records fucking everything, and then does the art and the video and is entirely self-sufficient and manages to look like they have an entire label behind them, because that's the only way anyone will take a tranny seriously, but a label won't sign someone they can't promote. i just want to make music from my perspective, about the world i live in without any lore or characters or cinematic fucking universe. not because that's bad, but because it's just not what interests me. most gigs we get are because i'm trans, ran by activists having a go at organisation. i don't want to slag any of them off, but i'd really like to do a gig ran by someone who's ran gigs before. where it isn't a bunch of randomly slapped together queer acts who sound nothing alike. we've done 3 gigs like this now, and out of the 7 acts we played with across the 3 gigs, maybe 1 of them sounded anything like us, even in the same ballpark. it's all sad lesbian singer-songwriters who's audiences go for a smoke the instant they realise what we are. i'm always the only trans woman there. i'm always the only dropped voice heard all night. peak frustration at *all of this* however, was a gig we applied for and didn't get. in feb, we applied for a gig with our uni's lgbt society they were doing for lgbt history month. we hadn't played a gig for 3 months at that point, had none in the pipeline, and were getting antsy. one of my flatmates is playing in one of the other bands so i go down anyway, and one of my favourite bands end up being a last minute replacement, so extra points. i get there, and just: 2 of the 5 artists are MT students who've been playing guitar for about 5 seconds and, to be brutally honest, probably aren't a point where they're good enough to play live yet. out of the other 3, one is "lesbian singer-songwriter" as mentioned earlier. she's extremely good, and for some reason she keeps being the support at gigs i go to, so no complaints there. then, band i both adore and am friends with, who i find out are a last second replacement *after having been rejected.* the person they're replacing is, to again use stereotypes, that kind of "gay boy pop." think troye sivan? the kind that is still pretty marketable to straight girls. the final band tho. oh god the final band. said flatmate is the only queer person on the band. she is on keys and barely visible. the songwriter/vocalist/lyricist/face of the band is extremely straight. across the entire original lineup, there was not a single trans person. 2 of the 5 were quite frankly not ready to perform live, and yet got it over multiple bands i know were rejected. all of whom contained visibly trans members, and were in genres other than "sad slow music." even in events designed to try and slightly tip the balance, we are unpalatable. and that's only when it's "lgbt events." when it's merely "diverse", it's all bands full of cis straight men, with one cis straight woman at the front with a mic. nice. on a course where i am, to reiterate, the only dropped voice/amab person doing vocals as my specialist instrument, it's diverse to have the vocalist be a cishet woman. idk it kinda just seems like it's impossible to get anywhere outside of trans circles if you're visibly trans (which, to reiterate, includes basically all transfem singers). i am the only trans woman fronting a band in this city as far as i am aware. i know of a few solo acts, but from what i've heard they all fit into the "distort and bury all vocals" category from earlier. it just sucks and there's no productive thing here. is posting this a good idea? no. will it piss some people off if they find it? yes. does this feel terribly arrogant? like i'm blaming being trans for my complete failure to actually get anywhere in the first 3/4s of "doing a music degree wherein i barely have to worry about supporting myself?" and completely wasting it? yes, yes it does.

[gamerwoo]

hansol/????: the lovers playlist masterlist

music has always been a big part of you. it’s the background to every moment in your life, and you keep different cassettes of the playlists you create for significant moments. the following playlist is one curated as you follow this new path. but when you reach the end, which playlist will you choose to play next?

(a/n: the 3 tapes at the bottom are meant to be a ‘choose your own adventure’. during interlude 1, you’re able to choose which tape to play. the 3 tapes don’t have to be read in order to make sense, and each one has a different ending)

─── « ⋅ʚ ♫ ɞ⋅ » ───

tape one -- new beginnings

everything has changed | taylor swift, ed sheeran

dear maria, count me in | all time low

youth | troye sivan

lowlife | neck deep

long way home | 5 seconds of summer

daylight | maroon 5

tape two -- butterflies

everybody talks | neon trees

waste the night | 5 seconds of summer

addicted to love | florence + the machine

crush | david archuleta

i really like you | carly rae jepsen

enchanted | taylor swift

tape three -- heartsick

sweet night | v

if you don’t know | 5 seconds of summer

deja vu | olivia rodrigo

i don’t wanna be in love (dance floor anthem) | good charlotte

over my head (cable car) | the fray

amnesia | 5 seconds of summer

do i wanna know? | arctic monkeys

somebody else | the 1975

interlude 1

─── « ⋅ʚ ♫ ɞ⋅ » ───

_____’s tape

over you | daughtry

reflections | misterwives

me myself & i | 5 seconds of summer

man! i feel like a woman! | shania twain

thnks fr th mmrs | fall out boy

gives you hell | the all-american rejects

the sound | the 1975

interlude 2

bonus track: if you don’t call | sol

hansol’s tape

somebody that i used to know | gotye, kimbra

ocean avenue | yellowcard

fall for you | secondhand serenade

please be mine | molly burch

two is better than one | boys like girls, taylor swift

sunflower | post malone, swae lee

still the one | one direction

best years | 5 seconds of summer

interlude 3

bonus track 1: still into you | paramore

bonus track 2: remember me | umi

????’s tape

i wish | one direction

waste it on me | steve aoki, bts

no idea | all time low

check yes, juliet | we the kings

telephone | waterparks

electric love | børns

i wanna be yours | arctic monkeys

interlude 4

bonus track 1: accidentally in love | counting crows

bonus track 2: downhearted | molly burch

─── « ⋅ʚ ♫ ɞ⋅ » ───

bonus tracks

the members of _____’s group

[marimagines]

Strawberry Cigarettes

Between - Fuckboy!Jimin X You Genre - Fluff, angst, and smut [in the future parts] Words - 25,743 [wow] Summary - After a long day, you get a phone call from your best friend who was drunk and sitting at the diner at the end of your street because of her issues. You didn't have a choice but to go and check up on her and drop her home where she's safe but, you didn't know there would be that new worker that had caught your eye. Your drunk friend's loud mouth and her words is what pushes you to actually talk to that guy even if you don't know who he really is. And that's the start of something. 

Linked to the story Love - A Dreadful Bond 

This story is a background of the Jimin character from the story Love - A Dreadful Bond.

A/N - Okayyy so this is my attempt to post after 2 years to get myself out of my writers block!! 2 Yearsss!! I had been writing this since 2018 ahaha and now i managed to complete part one.. whew. I sincerely apologize to those who had been waiting for my posts and writing.. hopefully i can achieve posting and writing more and getting out of this writers block.. Life is hard huhuhuh but we will all get through it.. Hope you all like this!!

This story was inspired from Strawberries & Cigarettes by Troye Sivan

____________________________________________________

Part 1

You walk into your apartment and sigh out with the exhaustion from the long day of classes and never ending errands. Dropping your keys on the kitchen counter as you walk past it to reach your living room area where the couch looked unbelievably comfortable than before to plop yourself onto the soft and cozy seat. You groan out when your phone vibrates on the table and pick up to see the caller ID and frown at why she's calling now. "Hello?" "Heyyyyy," your best friend, Ailee, sings from the other line. She sounded drunk. "I'm alone-i-come here okay? I'm at you know where?" To others, she might've not made sense but to you, she was making perfect sense at why she was drunk and where she was at. "Come quick!" Her scream causes you to flinch and you pull away the phone when she ends the call. You knew where she was already so you get up while whining out loud even though no one could hear you and drag yourself out as quickly as you could. You were worried if she'd leave thinking that you're not coming since she had done that several times and ended up either in someone else's house, nothing under the worst case scenarios though, or she would end up in another bar or banging at your or your other friend's door. But during days like these, she would always end up at the cafe at the end of your street. It was like a cafe and a diner since their interior reminded you of those diners you see in movies, with their cushioned seats and tables in the middle of the soft seats. That area was separated by a half wall and on the other side were normal round tables and the accompanying chairs you'd find in any cafe. The place did serve things like sandwiches and sometimes they'd have special days when they would actually sell full meals but usually it’s just the basic cafe/diner menu. To you, it was a cafe so you were surprised when you realized that they had a refrigerator with beer and soju even though there weren't any in the beginning. Until you later found out that it was mostly for Ailee and it made you roll your eyes. She was a regular at that place since she lived near it too but on the other side of it, opposite from yours. You would find her there almost all the time for breakfast, lunch, sometimes dinner if she hadn't eaten anything throughout the day. You, on the other hand, weren't a regular but you were known there as Ailee's best friend and also as someone who is mostly there especially when your friends or friend is there. You were there maybe 3 times a week but Ailee was there almost 6 times a week. At first you had thought it was because Ailee might've had a crush on someone there but in reality it was mostly their food and their service. Even the workers there were friendly and to you and her, they were familiar and just like friends as well. You both knew almost all the workers, by name if not personally since there weren't many. The place is actually owned by a lady in her late 50s and she had her two sons, Kim Jongdae who was the older one and Kim Jongin, the younger one, working with her and two other employees. You were more close to Jongin since you had noticed how he possibly had a crush on Ailee and also because he was closer with Ailee too. He was caring and always there for your friend when you couldn't be and he was really nice overall. He is a really fun person to be around and you could trust him. Ailee had no clue since she was already attached to someone else even though that guy wasn't looking for a relationship. Ailee and her 'man', Young Do, were just friends with benefits; fuck buddies in your opinion and you knew it was affecting Ailee. Jongin knew too and you both always lectured her over the same issues every month at least. So when she called you right now, already drunk, you knew it must be about Young Do again.

You walk into the cafe and eyes widen at huge group sitting by the window, taking up almost all the seats in this side. You walk past that area to where you'd usually seat near the counter, on those softer seats. Ailee was there too, head hung low while her hand held up the little shot glass. A sigh leaves your lips once you take a seat opposite to her and stare at her state. You knock at the table to let her know of your presence since she was pretty oblivious to it. Her body jumps a little and she looks up with her half closed eyes, trying to focus on you. "Ya!" You hiss at her sudden scream and shush her. "Do you-you k-know," a hiccup stops her from speaking and she ends up smiling at you. She was really drunk at this point. "I called you hours ago! What took you so long?" "You called me 10 minutes ago," you answer her silently while watching her pour another drink for herself. "You know what?" She says before gulping down the drink in one go. "Me and Young Do had a f-fight." "Why am I not surprised?" You roll your eyes but look at her in shock when she throws a tissue at you. "Don't interrupt me!" She screams at you while moving her hand to cover your mouth. "I told him he can't take his anger on me," Ailee whines out mid-sentence and itches her head before sipping straight from the soju bottle in front of her. You look at the other 6 empty ones and shake your head in disappointment and frustration, and even worry inside at the fact that she might even doze off any minute. "He left! I told him to leave if he can't handle and that fuc-" "Can I get you something, ma'am?" Your attention diverts to the new voice that came from the figure who stood next to your table. You look up at the new face and your heart jumps at his beauty. He had deep, yet small and thin eyes somewhat like a slight dripping shape. His lips were full and really plump and perfectly proportional that you actually thought what it'd be like to kiss them for a millisecond. You look at his face for a while then clear your throat while looking away then back at him. "Umm, just water please," you smile at him and then watch him turn around but you could have swore you saw him smile or smirk. Were you too lost and obvious with studying his features? You shake your head to get yourself together but once you look up, your eyes follow his steps and you catch yourself staring at him. You could see the veins popping out on his arms where he had rolled up his sleeves of the white shirt. "Ya," you turn your attention back to Ailee and try not to look back at the boy who had caught your attention like no one had ever could. "What are you-" "You should end it with your Young Do, Ailee. Seriously. Look at you," you scold her and give her a disgusted look after. "That's what I've trying to tell her for months," you smile at the guy who took a seat next to Ailee. "How are you, Jongin oppa?" He smiles at you and turns to look at Ailee who was still drinking. "Aish, look at you," Jongin criticizes Ailee as he frowns at her state. "Get yourself together." "You guys are supposed to be consoling me! Not- don't yell at me!" Ailee screams out, making both of close your eyes and frown at the pitch of her tone. Jongin flicks her forehead causing Ailee to hiss at the stinging feeling. "You're the only one screaming here," you sarcastically comment and look back at the crowded table on the other side, hoping her screaming wasn't annoying them. A guy from the other table calls out for someone and Jongin taps at your table, letting you know he's leaving. "They're having a party tonight and Jongdae isn't here today so I got my friend to fill in for him instead. I'm sure you met him?" He quickly says and gets up to run to the table. You shake your head as you smile at how he called his older brother with his name only. Realizing Jongdae's absence, you sit up straight and look around to see how it was only the new guy and Jongin working and Jongin's mother was probably inside the kitchen preparing the food and drinks along with the another worker. Ailee curses out loud as her bottle finishes for the seventh time and she screams out for someone to come to your table. "Excuse meeee~" you stare at her and her state. She was never this kind of girl who would get drunk over a guy but this Young Do guy had played with her feelings. You were sure if she actually thinks about it, she doesn't really have feelings for him either. They just need each other for desires and needs; nothing more. You watch her and hope she'd get over this guy and not go back to him again. Your chest clenches when you see the cute guy walk towards your table with the water you had asked for and to serve another soju bottle for Ailee. "Sorry for bringing this in late," his voice was so sweet and melodic it made your heart melt. You whisper a small 'it's okay' to reassure him in case if he was nervous or worried for being late. "Ya, I miss him," Ailee speaks up as you turn to look at her and miss watching the guy walk back to wherever it is he goes to. "Shut up, Ailee. The first thing we're doing tomorrow is getting you over him." You give her a death glare when she scoffs at you. ~~ "Hyung, who's that?" Jimin asks his friend while leaning against the kitchen counter as he stares through the huge window-like opening in the wall, it made it easier for the chefs to put the order so the waiters outside don't have to keep coming into the kitchen. It separated the kitchen and the cafe outside the kitchen and right now, it was an easy way for him to look at the table as he leaned against the counter, his eyes stuck on the two girls sitting there. One of them was drunk and had been there for quite some time, finishing up bottle after bottle but Jimin's interest was on the girl who came later. The one who seemed more on the good girl list. His eyes and his curiosity were on you. "Hey, don't even think about it." Jongin warns Jimin with a stern tone and a gaze as he was busy putting plates of food on a tray to take to the only other table that was rather crowded. Jimin tilts his head to the side to get a better view of you and a smirk creeps onto his lips as the thoughts and ideas in his head run wild. He was definitely checking you out and he made sure to make it as obvious as he could, if only you'd look to his direction. Your friend yells out and that gives Jimin the cue to go to your table again. He grabs a bottle of water and soju before making his way towards your table. He smiles at both of you and puts the water in front of you. "Sorry for bringing this in late," he speaks softly and notices that innocent glow in your pure eyes. "It's okay," you answer almost immediately but in a low voice. It almost made his heart jump, almost. He smiles as he leans towards the friend and puts the soju in front of her already drunken state. Walking back, Jimin makes sure he does it slow in attempt to listen to your conversations. He walks around the counter and chooses to stay behind the counter instead of going back into the kitchen. Plus he had a better view of you from here. Since Jongin was serving the other table, all Jimin had to do was serve yours because Jongdae and the other two employees weren't here today. Jimin takes out his phone as he rests his elbows on the counter to lean forward a little. He could hear you and your friend talk from here so it was all good. From the words you were saying, he wrote down a mental note that you were probably smart. His favorite. His eyes kept moving in your direction as he tries to take glances of you every now and then, hoping you'd look. You were shy too, he noticed and it caused him to smile softly but he made it look like he was smiling at his phone when he noticed your friend looking at him. "Ya, he's cute." The friend starts speaking without looking away. Your eyes open wide and you look for a second at Jimin but look back at your friend while turning her head away. He could see that pink shade that was creeping on your cheeks right now. Cute. He thought to himself and licks his lower lip before biting it while holding a smile. "Ailee, stop. You're being so obvious," you mumble at her comment and hiss when she complains and give her a glare that Jimin picks up on too. You were either nervous or embarrassed. "He's checking you out," Ailee confirms way too loudly when she picks up on the continuous stares and it causes Jimin to look up at both of you and makes eye contact with you for a second or two. "Stop woman," you whisper while trying to take the bottle from her. "He probably has a girlfriend." Jimin tries to hide that smile that was threatening to come out and coughs out while looking away, trying to make it look like he didn't just hear what you said. His soft moment ends when Jongin walks over to him and motions him to go into the kitchen with his index finger in the air. Rolling his eyes, Jimin follows his best friend into the kitchen as he pushes the pale blue door open and stands with his arms crossed in front of his chest while looking at Jongin who seemed annoyed. "What is it?" He questions him so they don't waste time. "What do you think you're doing?" Jongin crosses his arms over his chest too and raises an eyebrow. Jimin frowns at the questions, trying to act oblivious to his friend's question. "Don't think I don’t know that look Jimin. They're my friends, not some girls you can have fun with," Jongin lectures and watches Jimin scoff. "Hyung, I didn't do anything." The younger denies with a smirk while raising his hands up in the air. "I'm just in awe at your pretty friends. That's all." "Don't even-you know what, stay here. Don't even go near that table." Jongin holds Jimin by the shoulders and turns him around to make him sit at the counter while his friend follows his order well and sits on the counter with a smug look. At least he could see you from here. Park Jimin was known as the fuckboy in his university grounds and he took pride in it. With his breathtaking looks to his sweet, angelic voice and his toned and well-built body, any girl he had tried to hit up with always ended up following him and doing whatever he'd ask them to do. He was also said to be the definition of 'looks can be deceiving' and a lot of people agreed to it. His brothers in the dormitory weren't against it nor were they supporting him in this since they had all fucked up once or twice. Jimin always had a thing for a challenge but sadly most girls were just too easy that he almost thought about giving up and settling on one girl only, but then again... almost. He wasn't happy with coming here to work for one of his close friend but upon seeing you, he actually had a change of mind. Also since the cafe wasn't crowded like usual he had all the time and space he needed to check you out all he wanted and maybe ask for your number later... You were arguing with your friend, who Jimin picked her name rather easily, Ailee and he figured what was probably the issue. It had him wondering how many girls actually ended up like this girl because of him. He stares at how you tried to take the bottle away from your drunk friend and whine at her when she doesn't comply. A little laugh leaves his lips when he finds it cute and interesting at how you still attempt even after failing. He quickly looks away when your head rises, searching for him or Jongin as your hand raises up. "Excuse me," you speak up while looking around for someone to walk up to your table. Jimin knew he had to go but he stared behind him to look at Jongin busy plating up the food for the other table. "Hyungnim~" he speaks up in a singing tone while smiling smugly. "Pretty table needs something." "Ya, can you go please? I'm kinda busy with this," Jongin asks without looking at him. "I don't know, should I?" Jimin plays with his hyung, knowing it would annoy him. A smirk curves on his lips when Jongin stops doing what he was doing and turns to gaze at Jimin. Bingo. "I mean, you said not to do anything, especially not go near that table. So I don't think I ca-" "Alright, fine. Go." He interrupts with a growl and an annoyed expression. "You're so fucking annoying and stubborn. Do whatever you want." "Okayyy~" he sings out, satisfied with the permission to have things his way. Jimin looks at you and notices you staring at him too. He smiles as he jumps off the counter and walks out the kitchen. ~~ You stare at how worse Ailee's condition was getting and she was speaking complete nonsense, even to you they made no sense right now. As you try to snatch the bottle away from her for the fifth time, she resists and her grip tightens each time and it scared you that she'd actually break the glass if she squeezes it more. Your head was somewhere else though, ever since Ailee pointed out that the cute waiter was checking you out, it made you want to look and confirm it but you were too shy to even look at him for more than a minute. You saw him follow Jongin into the other side of the kitchen and he didn't come back out even after Jongin kept taking trips in and out of the kitchen. You ponder if he'll always work here or if he was just a substitute for Jongdae. If he was a new employee, you wouldn't mind coming here everyday and being a new regular customer at this place. You get pulled out of your thoughts when Ailee whines as her glass drops on the table and spills the drink over it. You quickly put tissues over the fluid and try once again to take the bottle from her before she makes herself worse but she still fights back. Giving up, you sit up straight and look at the other table, the people almost left since only three were there so maybe Jongin could help you with this. Or the new guy. "Excuse me," you chant softly and look towards the opening that gave a view into the kitchen and saw the new guy sitting on the counter. He turns his head as he was conversing with someone, probably Jongin, and completely ignores you. You frown at the action, trying to get his attention again you try to speak up again but see him smile at you and jump off the counter. He strides towards you with an unreadable look on his face and gives you another smile once he reaches the table. He just raises an eyebrow in question and waits for you to speak. You clear your throat before speaking. If Ailee wasn't cooperating with you then you had no choice but to ask for help. "Can you please take these away?" You point at the bottles that were spread in front of your friend. He nods at you and walks over to the counter to grab a round tray. He starts with picking up the empty ones and it gets painfully quiet so you decide to ask something... stupid. "Umm," you start slowly and notice how he slows down his pace of working. "Did she... drink all of this?" You beat yourself up in your head for asking something so stupid and obvious but he smiles instead. "Yes," his eyes were still glued to the table as he reaches for the bottle next to Ailee. You notice how Ailee was eyeing him and that was probably making him uncomfortable. "Do I take all of them away?" He asks once he's done picking and cleaning up and stares at you with round, glossy eyes. You nod before speaking. "Yes, please. All of them." He reaches for the bottle that was in your friend's hand but she pulls her hand back and it causes them both to look at one another. You kick Ailee's leg under the table, causing her to let go of the bottle and rub her leg. You hand him the bottle quickly before she reaches for it again. You hand it to him as he whispers an apology to Ailee, threatening a smile to break through on your lips. "Where's Jongdae-oppa?" Ailee stutters out, finding it difficult to speak due to the intake of all the alcohol. Before he speaks, he leans back to stand up straight and gives a small smile. "Hyungnim couldn't make it so Jongin asked me to help out tonight." His voice was so smooth and soft. You wanted to hear him speak all the time if that's how he really sounds all the time. His aura was a mixture of good and bad. The rolled-up sleeves and the way his jaw clenches and that smirk with those wandering eyes that go up and down your body, studying as much as he could from it. "Can you please bring the bi-" you speak up but get cut off from Jongin when he talks behind the cute guy. "No need for that," he smiles at you while he stands next to the other guy. "It's on the house... or, I'll just make her pay tomorrow." You laugh at his words but stop as you notice the cute guy stare at you with a smile plastered to his face too. Clearing your throat, you brush your hair back, straightening them down smoothly before getting up slowly, hesitantly. "Well then, I guess I'll take her home before she snaps again. Are you done for tonight?" You look at Jongin, trying with all your willpower to not look at the other guy who was eyeing you shamelessly. Jongin nods before answering you and looks at the empty, messy table where the other group was having their feast. "I just need to clean up that table, take her out for now. I'll be out in a while." He adds quickly and pats his friend's back to get him back to work too. They both walk away from the table, leaving you staring at Ailee hopelessly. This will be hard. Every time she got wasted like this, it always turned into a hassle to get her to walk. Sighing, you tie your hair back and push your phone into your pocket before reaching for her upper arm as you lift her body up. She groans lowly while she tries to stand on her feet and moves with your help despite her body's refusal by turning her limp. You put her arm around the back of your neck and grab her by the waist as you squirm when she leans against your neck while making weird lewd noises. "Ailee, you gotta help me out here." You point out to her but of course she probably didn't even comprehend it properly as she runs her hand over your face sloppily. You move your head back as far as you could and let out an annoyed noise. "Do you need help?" The new worker comes up and suggests as he was fixing his rolled-up sleeve. He still had a soft smile on his face and it wasn't helping in calming your heart down. "Uhh... y-yeah," you stutter out as his eyes were glued onto yours. "Yes please. Thank you." You thank him quietly and he moves right away. He grabs her other arm gently and does the same as you, wrapping it around his nape and shoulder, keeping it there. He moves to grab her waist hesitantly but stops and smiles instead. "Let's go?" He says gently and gestures you to move first. The two of you walk slowly and reach the entrance but stop when Jongin calls you from behind. "Hey, take my keys. I'll take her home." He runs towards you three and pulls out the keys, jingling in his hand as he passes them to his friend while giving him a straight face. Once he leaves to go back to work, the other guy, you wished you knew his name, looks at you then outside. "It's raining outside," he notes as his eyes stay glued to the view outside. "I have an umbrella... wait." His tone was soft yet it seemed so demanding to you, making you bite your lips in nervousness. You watch him run back into the kitchen, coming back in a few seconds with a black umbrella in his hand. He gives you a small smile and it makes you ponder why was he even being so nice, having met you just half an hour ago. Maybe he was just being friendly and you were the one getting way too distracted in this situation. Opening the door of the restaurant, you notice it was raining lightly, not too light nor too heavy. He opens up his umbrella with his hands outside and puts it above his head and you two, while he helps you take Ailee to Jongin's car. You walk outside and suddenly realize that you didn't even bring a jacket to warm you up as the chilly air hits your skin through your hoodie. The awkward atmosphere was getting too much to ignore too as the three of you walk silently and slowly. You clear your throat before saying anything so your voice doesn't disappoint you by cracking or anything. "Thank you for this," you look at him with a smile as your head tilted to see him on the other side of Ailee. You notice he wasn't even under the shade the umbrella provided because you and Ailee had taken up the space mostly. A feeling of guilt builds up in you as you notice the white shirt sticking to his body as the raindrops land onto him. He must be cold too... "It's okay," that angelic voice. Your heart melts at how it was so soft yet so deep but in that perfect tone. "You don't know where Jongin hyung parked his car right?" You frown at the way he mentions Jongin. Was he younger? "Hyung?" You stop, making him stop and look at you with a light frown as confusion begins to show at his face. "You're younger than him?" You didn't want to sound that shocked but it was obvious you were. "Yeah. A year younger," he smiles widely, his eyes closing and making your heart jump and skip beats at how adorable he looked. "How old are you?" "I'm 22." "So I don't think I need to speak formally, do I?" He starts with a smug look and a raised eyebrow, making you giggle lightly. "Whatever makes you comfortable," you answer. Why was he so hot? You clear your throat and start walking again before things get awkward. Amidst your thoughts, you suddenly realize you don't even know his name but before you could even speak again, you're interrupted by him when he stops in front of the black car. "Here it is," he announces before opening the passenger door quickly hence keeping the umbrella up your heads to keep the two of you dry. As you help Ailee into the car, she suddenly looks up and smiles at you. You knew she'd do this... it's happened more than a dozen times so you knew she'd snap awake any moment. "Oh, (Y/N)." She blurts out as her hand caresses you face roughly. You pull away from the touch and help her with the seatbelt. "Stay still." You command lightly and smile at her when she raises her arms up in an attempt to "help" you with the belt. You pull her arms down once you’re done and slowly back away to straighten up. "Jongin oppa will be taking you home now okay?" "Oh," she points at the guy who was staring at her then you. "I don't remember Jongin being like..." you face palm yourself in embarrassment and push her hand away to stop her from pointing. You freeze when you hear him laugh out, his head thrown back and a huge smile on his lips. You couldn't help but smile at his cuteness. "I'm Jimin... Park Jimin." He looks at you as if answering your unasked question and you smile at him shyly. "(Y/N), and this is Ailee." Unintentionally, you bite your lip and push a hair strand behind your ear. It probably looked weird, you thought. "You're hot. Oh... She's single," your eyes widen at Ailee's bluntness and a shade of pink covers up your cheeks as you stare at her in shock and embarrassment then at Jimin, who was eyeing you with an unreadable look. "She's also a good kisser. Have you seen her lips?" "Okay, I think you should rest. Bye." You nervously interrupt her and close the door with her inside the car. You look over at Jimin and bite your lower lip again and your heart flutters when you notice his eyes on them. "Uh... sor-sorry about that," you chuckle out as the nerves kick in. "She just says whatever when she's like that. Don't mind her." "It's okay, I'll make sure to remember those two details about you," he remarks lowly as he walks closer to stand under the umbrella too. The sound of the raindrops hitting against the umbrella above the two of you gave you a very dramatic background audio, making you even more anxious. Especially after his last remark. You look down as you try to come up with something to say but sigh in relief when you hear Jongin from behind Jimin. "Hey, is she still passed out?" He asks breathlessly as he tries to cover himself up with his jacket. "No, she woke up now... be careful." You warn him and laugh when you see him shake his head and let out a defeated sigh. "Thanks... ah Jimin-ah, you have to stay and clean up the kitchen remember." You watch the two converse and frown at how Jimin had his jaw clenched at the order. "Yeah okay." He says in a low voice while he gestures you to start walking once Jongin gets in the car. "I was going to drop you home... it's not nice to just let a girl walk back alone like this." He says as his free hand sticks out from underneath the umbrella to feel the rain, that had calmed down a little from before. You blush at his words again and turn down his offer to walk you home as nicely as possible. The two of you walk back to the café with a small conversation about each other. He's in college too, not the same as yours though. A bummer, you think. He's a literature major, just like you; loves to draw and dance and sometimes party. You listen contently and so does he. Of course neither of you open up completely since the walk and the talk was small and basic. He lives in a dorm with six other guys who are apparently like his family, according to him. Cute. You wonder how he actually is without being all polite and nice since you two had just met. Too early to think that right? But you just wanted to know more and more about him the more you listen to his voice or see his beautiful smile. A pout appears on your lips when you see the familiar glass door of the cafe and come to realize this is where you two part ways and will probably not see each other again. You sigh lightly once he stands in front of you, leaning against the door behind him. "Well, I guess I better go then. It was nice talking to you and..." you pause for a while when you see him lick his lips before biting them lightly. Clearing your throat, you continue. "And, thank you for helping and for," you point at the black umbrella above your head. "For the shade." "No problem," he smiles sincerely as he straightens up his posture. "Here, take it home for now. You can't walk without an umbrella. I would walk you but I have work left," he says as his hand raises, his thumb sticking towards the cafe. Your insides crash against one another at his caring act and you reach up to hesitantly take the umbrella from his hand. Your fingers touch lightly and you quickly feel how warm and smooth they feel, making you what to hold onto them a while longer. You must be going crazy right now. "You can return it later when we meet." He adds when you don't speak. "Oh... So this isn't goodbye?" "Absolutely not. You have my umbrella. Of course I'll need it back..." you giggle at his sarcasm and shake your head. "And then we can start from there too." He smiles again, giving you another set of skipped heartbeats to deal with. "Thank you," you look down before walking back into the pathway. "Goodnight Park Jimin." You say before you start towards your home. "Goodnight, (Y/N)." He says from behind you. You continue taking small steps away from the store but pause when you hear him again. "Oh and..." you look behind you as he was leaning against the wooden pillar of the entrance. You raise your eyebrow when he doesn't say anything. "...I don't have a girlfriend." He smiles smugly when you realize what he was referring to. Your comment that you had made in there. Blood rushes to your cheeks at his comment as nervousness builds up and you bow down quickly before looking away in embarrassment. Your feet save you by starting the quick pace back towards your home as your ears pick up a small chuckle leave his lips and the opening of the door. You walk into your apartment and lock the door before walking into your bedroom. Plopping onto the bed, you stare at the ceiling and replay everything that had happened just a while ago. From going to Ailee to seeing Jimin and just checking him out to actually talking to him and now here you were. In your bed, with his umbrella still in your hand and with that promise to meet again soon. And... he's single. You blush as the last remark he made comes back to your head and you kick your legs up in the air as you squeal out. You felt embarrassed yes, but deep down that fast rhythm of your heart was trying to tell you something else. "You can't just fall for him. He's just a crush. Just. A. Crush." You lecture yourself once you sit up after your behavior and keep repeating the words. Shutting your eyes tightly, you sigh out before grabbing your phone to text Ailee. She needed to hear something and you were going to say it. Were you mad at her for the embarrassment and those words of her? Yes. Did it hurt you? No. But you wouldn't be feeling this or would have this umbrella in your hands if it wasn't for her. Scrolling down the chats, you spot her name right away and click on it, typing right away. You [9.50pm]: you're one lucky bitch. You smirk to yourself before setting your alarm for a new day tomorrow and hoping to not show to much appreciation to Ailee over this. You close your eyes and try to get yourself to sleep without having to think too much about Jimin. ~Jimin's point of view~ He was standing outside in the cold, breezy weather as his thumb scrolls through all the posts in the apps. He had tons of messages to check too but he chose to ignore those, just like always. He runs his hand through his hair as he looks up and around in hopes of finding a familiar car. When nothing happens in the quiet street, he sighs out in frustration. How long was he supposed to wait until his friends pick him up. He can't walk all the way to his dorm and he just didn't want to order a cab. A honk gets his attention away from a specific message that makes a smirk appear on his features, engaging his ego even higher than it already was. Unknown number [10.37pm]: I can't stop thinking about last night, Sunbae... can we meet again? "Aah~ I have to control these freshmen." He utters to himself as he walks towards the navy blue BMW, opening the backseat door. He's welcomed by his younger "brother" Jungkook and his older "brother" Hoseok. Fraternities... they just made him get used to calling all of his friends as brothers though he wouldn't admit so easily that he actually likes calling them that and how much they all mean to him. He sits inside quickly and lets out a lewd noise as the warmth of the heat hits his cold face. Jungkook was looking at him as his lower lip was hidden under his teeth. "I can explain why we're late," he starts off quickly as he changes the gear to drive. "It's okay, just drive. I'm tired," Jimin replies tiredly with his head tilted back and a smirk painted on his face. Hoseok and Jungkook share a frowned and confused look at the words coming out of the boy. He wasn't mad this time... Jimin would've been mad if it was any other day. Perhaps this wasn't a normal day. "Something good must've happened, seeing how you're not even mad and actually ... smiling like a creep." Hoseok adds as he shifts in his seat to turn to look behind at Jimin. "Ah hyung~ how can you say that? I don't always get mad," Jimin whines and earns a chuckle and scoff from the two guys in the front. "Did they pay you well?" Jungkook asks after a while when the three of them relax for a while. "Hmm," Jimin hums in response as his head nods slowly even though they probably aren't even looking at him. "They paid me well, there weren't many customers tonight... and I met someone." The two quickly look back in unison as Jimin chuckles. "Got your attention now, huh? Ya Jungkook, look in the front when you're driving." "Who's she?" Hoseok continues the conversation as they all relax into their seats again. "Her name's (Y/N), goes to Sonyei, is a literature major and she has a part time job at a clothing store." Jimin lists out all the details and information he gained earlier when the two of you had exchanged small talk while walking back to the cafe. "Well, I guess we'll have to deal with more screams and all that," the youngest comments, earning a few annoyed noises from Hoseok and Jimin as he sits there with a huge smile and a scrunched nose. "Oh my god, this little bastard here." Jimin says from behind and reaches forward to smack Jungkook's nape hard enough but also light enough. The rest of the ride back to the dorm was quiet since they were all tired from their day and work but Jimin's mind was going back to one thing. You. ~(Y/N)'s point of view~ The ringing of the alarm jolts you awake and you sit up in bed with a loud annoyed groan. Morning classes sucked and you were late. You quickly jump off the bed and run into the bathroom to get ready as quickly as you could and then choosing an outfit wouldn't be a problem. You can just put something simple. You ended up choosing a navy blue sweater with beige skinny jeans and grabbed a black long coat to end the look. Before running out the door, you stop to check if your lipstick was okay then you pull the door open and make a run for it before the bus leaves. Thankfully, you had gotten to class just a minute earlier and walk to your place with wobbly legs from running too much. You plop down on the chair with a loud sigh and raise your hand as a greeting for one of your friend, Kim Woosung. He smiles and waves back before eyeing you as you try to catch your breath. "Trying to run for a marathon?" He jokes as you smack his bicep lightly with an eye roll. You sit up straight once you notice his bottle of water was still almost full and grab it immediately. You needed water right now. "That's mine..." he says lowly as he watches you gulp down almost half the bottle and shakes his head. A sigh leaves his lips when he sees you smile at him. "That was refreshing," you add after he's done giving you "the looks". "I spat in it earlier," you roll your eyes and can't help but smile at his comment. "Makes it more refreshing." "You're disgusting," Woosung adds with a disgusted look after your comment. "Hmmm, so are you." You joke around before relaxing into the seat more after your breathing became stable. "Just finish the whole damn thing if you're stopping here," he moves the bottle towards your side of the desk and shakes his head when you giggle. Woosung was one of your close friends. The two of you met in ninth grade when he moved back in the country after leaving America. "A very, not a smart decision really", in his words. He spent two years being sad over leaving America, where he grew up, but slowly became better used to here starting from junior year. The two of you were friends from the beginning in ninth grade when he saw you reading a classic novel, Dr. Frankenstein. He criticized it and said it was in his least favorite list. "There are so many better ones. Why read this as a start?" "What's it to you? I like this!" You had argued back after being shocked at his words. "If i have to sit next to you for a whole year, at the very least bring a better book so that I can read too if I get bored." "Am I reading for your sake? Do you not have books of your own?" "What? Are you getting mad?" He scoffed at the way your tone had changed a note higher since you two had been quarreling over this for no apparent reason. "Yes. I am." "All I'm saying is get a better book so we can both-" "Do you have to read with me? Don't read, if you don't like the ones I'm reading," you lift the book up to cover his face and read again. That was in the second month of ninth grade. The two of you had just begun to talk like actual classmates and joked around too. He was really awkward in the beginning but with time the two of you settled down and tolerated each other to get along. Woosung became your best friend without the two of you even realizing. It just became so usual to have him around, in your house or room or out in the mall or clubs. People had even mistaken you for dating but you were quick to clear it out. "You could've played along," he had said back then too. Of course he was good looking. Soft features, thin lips, cute soft eyes and an adorable smile in your opinion. He was a great singer and was even in a band with three other guys. You had been to their gigs and busking events and you had to admit, he was pretty good. They were all pretty good. Did you ever feel something towards Woosung? Yes... obviously but you kept your mouth shut and those feelings faded away slowly or hid away. You had to be frank, he did get better looking since senior year high school. You're pulled out of your thoughts when you hear students in the classroom mumble all of a sudden and frown at everyone who was looking at their screen. That's when you realize the instructor didn't even come yet, it was almost 15 minutes by now. Woosung looks around and hums lightly before speaking, "Seems like class is canceled." You roll your eyes in annoyance at having to wake up early and run here to have the class canceled. "Oh, for fuc-" "Hey!" He smacks your lips for almost cursing in front of him like that. He was older than you by a year so yeah... you couldn’t always be so easy like that. Well. You could swear and all but he just liked to annoy you that way. "I woke up and ran all the way here to have this canceled..." you pout as the two of you get up to leave the classroom along with the other students. "Why'd you overslept? You don't usually do that." "Ailee and Young Do had a fight or something and she went to get wasted again," you complain as he opens the door for you, letting you go out first. "So I had to take care of that last night." Once you step outside and finish your sentence, you finally remember the events from last night. It was hectic and frenzy since you had woken up late but now that your mind was more relaxed, you remembered. Jimin. The umbrella. The last thing he said. You bite your lower lip as a habit and look ahead as you walk wherever your feet were taking you. How were you supposed to return the umbrella when you didn't even take his number. When he said you'll meet again, did he mean soon? You kind of missed him... stupid right? You had just met him last night yet you were here thinking about him and how his voice swayed its way into your heart. How warm his fingers felt even though it was for a second. You try to remind yourself to get it together and repeat the same words you did last night. "Just a crush. Just a cr-" "Goodmorning," you blink several times to get yourself back in reality when you hear Woosung's greeting. You look where he's looking at and spot Ailee taking a seat on the other side of the wooden picnic bench. You frown at her sullen expression... why was she so sad about now? You quickly stand up half way to reach towards her and smack her bicep, earning a whine from her. "You. Are. One. Lucky. Bitch." You point out while getting back on the seat. Woosung frowns at the two of you but doesn't bother or ask what's going on... at least not yet. "I messed up last night, didn't I?" She gives you an apologetic look and closes her eyes tightly as she rests her head into her palms and groans. "Jongin-oppa and I had a fight last night." She looks at you with a pout planted on her lips and then continues. "And now he's ignoring me." "Why did you fight?" "He was lecturing me the whole drive to my house and I flipped and he came after me and yelled. When I say fight. I mean a while fight with us yelling and screaming here (Y/N)!" She whines out loudly as she grabs your wrists and pulls your arm towards her. "Well he's not the only one that's mad at you," you pull away and give her an annoyed look. Does she not remember everything else? Why was she so focused on Jongin. She never acted this way so why was she... perhaps they actually feel the same way for each other? You knew Jongin liked Ailee but you didn't know whether she felt the same way towards him. Did she? You're pulled out of your pondering when she speaks again with a whiny tone. "Why are you mad?" You roll your eyes at her oblivion and list the things right away. "First, you need to fucking STOP this whole shit with Young Do." Woosung smacks you lightly when you curse and you're reminded that he was actually here. He had been so quiet that you actually forgot he was here. You scowl at him silently when he stares at you with wide eyes. He always had a habit of smacking you every time you used a swear word, it's not even because he was offended or anything. He just did it. "Fine, I'll stop okay?" You two look at Ailee in unison with shock written all over your faces. This was the first time she ever said this. "And what did you even mean by this text?" She pulls out her phones and then turns the screen towards you. It was your message from last night. "This is why I'm mad!" You jeer out. "Do you not even remember? Park Jimin? The guy who served our table last night," Ailee's face contorts as she tries to remember and then her eyes widen in an instant. "Oh shit," "Hey, don't curse around your Sunb-" "Oh SHIT," Ailee gasps out loud as her palm goes over to cover her open mouth. You give her an annoyed look and wait for her to apologize... to be honest, you weren't even THAT mad but you had the right to argue over her words that she had said in her drunken state. "I said something to him, didn't I?" "You exposed me!" You yell back and watch her try to remember again. "You were like 'oh she's single and a good kisser'..." you mimic her tone and look at her frown and then... she ends up laughing. She actually bursts out laughing and then you sit there and watch Woosung join in silently. "This isn't funny you guys." You whine out loud and drop your head on the wooden table. "I felt so embarrassed and flustered... I didn't even get his number," you finish off before sitting up with slump shoulders and a pout on your lips while you look back and forth at the two who were still laughing lightly. "Why are you laughing?" You direct the question to Woosung. "It's funny. I thought she did something but it's so small," he rubs your head, messing up your hair as he makes cooing noises. "Poor little (Y/N) got shy because some cute guy found out you're single and a good kisser." You smack his hand away and look at Ailee, who was smiling at you. "At least he didn't run right? If you said I'm lucky then something good must've happened," her eyebrow raises and she tilts her head in an attempt to try to read your expression. You clear your throat whilst trying to hide the smile that was forming on your lips. "He said that we'll meet again for sure." You say confidently but blush slowly as you remember the last thing he had said last night. You roll your eyes when Ailee lets out a long "ooooh~" ~Jimin's point of view~ He came back from his class and went straight into his room. He couldn't bear to deal with another being right now... Sleep. That's what he needed right now. As he walks through the hall of the dorm, he passes by Jungkook's room and hears a different voice from inside. His ears perk up to try to encode the new voice... a girl? Did Jungkook really have a girl in there? A teasing smirk comes onto his lips but he saves it for later. He was already tired from today's classes and he even bummed into one of his "ex". She wasn't an ex, just someone he had spent some time with for a while but then got bored as usual. But she had always tried to come back, making things awkward. Just like today. He shuts his door once he enters and plops into his bed while staring at the ceiling. Something was going on in his head that he managed to ignore the whole day until now. He frowns when he catches up on his thoughts and wonders why, of all the things, was he thinking of that... Of you. You two had only met for a few hours but why out of all the people, why did you pop into his head. He laid there and thought about what you were up to, what you could be wearing, or if you were thinking about him or not. He plays with his hair lightly then once he realizes he hadn't even taken your number, he groans and whispers to himself "You're a stupid ass Jimin-ah." Maybe Jongin might give him your number... it was a small possibility though. A knock on his door gets him out of his thoughts and he turns his head towards the door, telling them to come in. "Hey," it was Taehyung. He looked like he was in a hurry. "We- no. You got a problem. Miyeon is here." "Tell her I'm asleep." He sighs out as he looks back at the ceiling. "She's your girl, you deal with her dude. She won't listen to me." "Tae-" Jimin huffs out a breath as Taehyung closes the door without even listening to him. He gets up to put his backpack in its place and picks up the clothes that were laying around to put them in his wardrobe. If there was one thing he could care most about, he'd pick keeping his home or room neat and organized especially if someone was coming over. It has always been a habit of Jimin, to keep things tidy and in their place. As he did the same right now, he hears the door open and close again. "Oppa," Miyeon's voice echoes around the room and he hears her step towards him but still doesn't turn around. His back towards her direction as he went on with folding his shirt and his sweatpants that he found laying around. "Hi." She wraps her arms around his waist to embrace him in a back hug and rests her head on his back. Jimin drops his clothes and shoves them in before sighing out loud. He grabs her wrists to free himself from the hug and turns around to glare at her. "You have to stop coming here without telling me. I told you that before." She looks at him with a pout before speaking back. "I did message you... an hour ago." Miyeon frees herself from his hold to take a step back. "You don't seem happy to see me." Jimin looks her up and down, taking in her small body and her soft features. She had long hair that reached a little further down her shoulders. She had curled them today, it was pretty. Her plump lips were giving a tint of red today and it matched the light shade of red on her cheeks as she watched him study her like that. Her eyes, usually small and almond shaped, were now round since she felt small in front of him like that. Her outfit was cute today too, as usual. A white crop top that hugged her chest and torso tightly and a pastel pink skirt that stopped just above her knees. He looks back at her and notices that pout was still there on her lips. "I guess I'll go if you didn't want to see me." Disappointment in her tone, she turns around when Jimin doesn't budge and starts to walk towards the door until he speaks again. "Did you wear this outfit for me? It's pretty. You look pretty," he compliments as she turns and gives him a huge smile. "But it's cold outside, didn't you feel cold?" "Well, it was freezing but I wanted to show off my new outfit." She skips to the bed and sits on the edge while looking around at the room. "Don't worry, I'll help you warm up." Jimin walks towards his bed and leans down to attack her lips with his own. A moan leaves her lips right away and it causes Jimin to smirk into the kiss. He cages her body with his arms next to her sides and gently pushes her down and into the mattress. "Get in the middle of the bed and clothes off." He commands as he moves to take his own garments off. The sound of Jungkook yelling is what wakes Jimin up. He opens his eyes slowly to take in the lightened up room, it was already the next day. He must've been exhausted yesterday to have slept right after sex and waking up the next day... especially since he had slept around 7pm last night. His palm comes up to press his temple gently and turns his head to see Miyeon still sleeping there. He turns his body completely so that he was facing her, she always looked extra adorable when sleeping. Miyeon is in the same university as Jimin and they had met at a cafe Jimin goes for his regular coffee or lunch during the day. The food there was good and cheap and it could fill him up and keep him going for a few hours too. He first saw Miyeon when he was in his second year and she was still a freshmen. She looked lost and confused while trying to order in front and Jimin was running late so he suggested his favorite and offered to buy for her too. He didn't have any intentions back then but they had met again after 2 days and that's when they started talking and hanging out more. Miyeon's in the college of Drama, mostly acting and doing or writing plays. It's right across the building of the Literature college. They were just friends since Jimin was busy with a girl or another every time but he knew she had felt something with him too. Jimin resides in one of the famous dormitory in their university along with other guys and he was even the son of a rich family so people always knew who he was and his charming and beautiful looks always stole hearts. He didn't want to drag Miyeon into this but she knew what kind of a guy he is when she had kissed him at a party once he said he's not really "looking for any girl at the moment". It had started off with just a kiss then it turned into a makeout and before things got ahead, Jimin had warned her once more and got another kiss as a response. That was a year ago. Jimin still slept around or flirted here and there. It's not like Jimin and Miyeon were in an exclusive relationship. She had an idea but she never let it show nor had she said anything except for little to no arguments. She was just too nice and innocent for someone like Jimin. Did he ever feel bad for her? Sometimes. But maybe this was his taste. This is what he preferred. It's mean and not exactly a good thing to- He quickly shuts his eyes close to act like he was asleep once she moves as her body comes back to life. He hears her groan and feels her stretch out as her body moves towards his. She leans in and lightly pecks his nose before whispering a good morning to his "sleeping state". He feels his body stiffen at the way she acted. But with his hearing, he could tell she got up the bed and was putting on her clothes probably. Once she leaves the room, he opens his eyes and lets out a sigh. He's an asshole for doing this to her. An asshole for doing this to you too probably. ~(Y/N)'s point of view~ It was almost a week after you and Jimin had met and for some reason, you still wondered more and more about if he'll actually even come to meet again. Every night for the past 6 nights, you would stare at his umbrella that he had handed to you and ponder over him in general. Was he also thinking about you? Or did he forget about all that happened that night? It was around 9pm right now when your thoughts are disturbed with your phone chiming two times, alerting you with your new messages. You frown when there's an unknown number and there's Ailee's message as well. You drop your pen that was hovering over your notebook and grab your phone, opening the unknown messages first. Unknown number [9.17pm]: hey Ailee [9.17pm]: hey You look over at the messages then reply Ailee first with a usual "hi" though you opened the other message first. You [9.18pm]: hi? You send to the unknown sender but before they could even finish what they were saying, you jump as your phone rings abruptly. Ailee. "Hey," you ask with concern since she just seemed weird this way. "Hey, can you come to Jongin's cafe right now... please." She almost whispers, unusual coming from her. "Yeah, sure. Everything okay?" You say, already getting to grab your coat and a cap. "It's Young Do, he's been following me all day and he won't fucking stop... just come there okay? I'm almost there too." You hear the beep of the call ending and run out the door whilst trying to put on the coat in a sad failing attempt. The other number had messaged you but that was in the back of your mind by now since Ailee did sound concerned. Once you reach the cafe six minutes later, Jongin was already in alert and being cautious. You sit at your usual place and wait for Ailee and try to get your breath back while constantly staring at your phone. She needs to get here already, why wasn't she- "Hi," you look up in shock when you hear that voice again. It's Jimin. Why was he here? "Are you alright?" He takes the seat across from you with his eyes wide since that look of concern was too obvious on you. "Uh... Hi," you stutter out in a low voice as he leans towards the table, his arms resting on the table as his fingers intertwine. "Why are yo-" "Ya," you get interrupted as Jongin yells out all of a sudden and that's when you notice Ailee pacing towards you. She pushes Jimin into the bench even more and takes a seat beside him. You eye her worriedly but don't say anything since Jongin beats you to it. "What happened? Did he follow you here too?" "I don't know... oppa, just go back to work please. I don't want to bring attention because that would make him realize it." She whines out as she pushes him away from the table and you stare at the two of them back and forth, wondering how Jongin listened so well today. "What happened?" You ask her once Jongin leaves. "I told him we're done for real this time... that was two days ago," Ailee spurts out as she tries to keep her voice low. "And then I noticed it yesterday that he had been following me. I don't know what he wants but it's damn scary." You could tell how scared she was, it was obvious but it was readable when you see her hands shake. Ailee already had a stalker problem before and if Young Do is doing the same thing, especially after knowing about it... he's an asshole. You try to calm her down, forgetting about Jimin completely even though he was sitting right next to her. Apparently he was a good listener, judging from the way he sat still the whole time and didn't even budge. You listen to Ailee's story while offering her water, even though she had asked for a bottle of soju. It was six to seven minutes later that you four thought Young Do probably gave up but just as you were about to mention it, you see his figure in front of your table. "I need to talk to you," he starts even before introducing or greeting. Not that you wanted to hear anything from him. He sounded like he was demanding her rather than even ask her if she wants to. Reason one of why you despised Young Do. "I don't want to hear anything." Ailee retorts straightforwardly. Even though she was terrified, she still didn't show it completely in front of him. Or maybe because she felt safe with you and Jongin around. Young Do grabs her wrist with force and that causes you and Jimin to react right away. "Hey man, she said she doesn't to talk." Jimin says as he frees Ailee's wrist from his grip and gives Young Do a warning look. "Who's this? You're new sugar daddy?" Young Do snorts and chuckles but Jimin's remain unchanged. You see his jaw clench and the veins in his neck pop out. "Ya, did she seduce you too? She'll run away in the e-" "You really want to continue this here?" Jimin interrupts him with his voice sounding as cold as the wind outside that causes goosebumps and chills to rise up your body. Young Do clenches his fists even before Jimin does anything and you already hope for something to stop them. "What're you going to do? Huh?" Young Do challenges him as a smug look paints both of their faces. "Ailee, can you move please?" Jimin smiles at Ailee and you both know what'll happen if she does move and lets Jimin out. "Jimin-sshi, forget it..." you whisper as your hand grabs his arm. His eyes move away from Young Do and land onto where your hand fisted his sleeves, making you let go hesitantly. You see Young Do's figure stumble back and look up to see Jongin's hand push him aside. "This isn't a place to fight," Jongin steps between Ailee and Young Do, keeping his hand out to keep him at a distant. Young Do challenges Jongin as he smacks his hand away and walks too close to his face. You were starting to get anxious as a lot of attention was beginning to divert towards your group. You close your eyes for a second just to hope this ends well even though it didn't look like it would. "If you want to make a scene, take it outside." "You're the same guy who took her home last time... Aah, I definitely would love to take this outs-" "Stop it you guys," Ailee interrupts right away as she pushes the two of them to give her space to get out. She walks towards the entrance door after telling Young Do that she'll "talk". He follows her after giving the three of a glance and then leaves. "Stay with (Y/N). This bastard could have someone around too." Your eyes widen at his words and you and Jimin share the same confused and shocked look. As you both sit back properly, you keep on turning your heads towards where the other two had left to speak. You were already worried and anxious since Young Do could get a little too violent at times, regardless of who it is he's dealing with. Out of all the guys, Ailee had to choose him. You keep noticing how Jimin's eyes kept on looking towards you over and over again. As if you weren't nervous enough, seeing Jongin run out the door made your body turn cold. Your body reacts immediately even before your brain could comprehend anything and you jolt up and run towards the same direction as Jongin. You hear Jimin telling you to wait or slow down but you couldn't. This seemed way too serious at this point. After taking one turn into an alleyway, you freeze when you see Jongin yelling at Ailee, the two of them arguing and you're about to walk in between when you feel a tight grip on your wrist. "Don't... interfere," Jimin commands as he tries to catch his breath again. "You can't just let those two fight like-" You protest but a small "oh" leaves your mouth when you see Jongin and Ailee shut each other up by pressing their lips together. You and Jimin stand there for a few more seconds until you clear your throat and drag him out by his sleeves silently. The two of you walk back towards the cafe silently but then you give him a brief explanation. "Jongin always had a crush on Ailee. I guess she feels the same way, judging from what happened back there. Guess we should let them be for now," you look over to Jimin who was nodding in understanding at the detail-less explanation. The rest of the walk was beginning to get quiet but then you remembered something. "How did you know I was going to be in the cafe today?" "Ah, I texted you. I thought you came there because I asked you," you frown in confusion but then remember the unknown number and quickly pull out your phone to see the messages you had forgotten about. Unknown number [9.19pm]: it's me, Jimin. how are you? took your number from Jongin hyung. Unknown number [9.20pm]: I'm at the cafe ... I believe we were supposed to meet? You bite your lips at his text as you suddenly remember his remark about being single and it causes you to blush. You clear your throat after saving his number and shoving your phone back into your pocket. "I was so caught up with Ailee and all-" you blurt out, hoping it didn't make him feel insulted or hurt but he cuts you off. "Hey, it's okay. I understand." He smiles at you sweetly and it feels like deja vu as you two reach the cafe once again and he sighs. You look at him and smile softly while looking around. It was getting kind of late and you had to be home by now. "I'm not busy at the moment, I can walk you home." He suggests nicely and you were glad he offered but still try to refuse out of habit. "Ah, it's okay. I can wa-" "You don't have to refuse, I came to meet you so I'll get more time this way." You feel your face getting warm at his comment and thank him silently. "Let's go?" You nod shyly and gesture him to walk in the direction of your apartment. As the two of you walked towards your place, it got better and less awkward between you two as you exchanged random conversations about his classes and his friends that he lives with in the dorm and you told him how you had to show your parents that you'll be fine on your own and moved out the house so you'd be close to your university. And you also had given a brief explanation about the issue of Ailee and Young Do as well so that he could understand more of why today was this serious for you and Ailee. Once you reach your house, he smiles at you before speaking. "I'm glad we got to meet today," he starts off and you already feel sad thinking about when you're going to meet him next time. Maybe if he could stay a little longer... "Oh, your umbrella," you cut in before he says anything else and turn to walk into the house but stop to say something out of your comfort zone, without even thinking. "Uhh... would you, umm... like to come inside?" A smile appears onto his lips and he looks away shyly before following you inside. You tell him to take a seat on the couch while you walk into the kitchen area, voicing out whether he'd like coffee or tea. He refuses for both options and asks you not to do something like that. Typical first guests act. You smile at him and ask him what he'd like and the answer is as plain and cold as the water you hand him a while later to satisfy his request. You didn't know what to do as the nerves in you were starting to build up one by one until they stopped in your throat, making you want to throw up. Even though you and Jimin had gotten along on the way back, this scenario was still awkward as you watch him look around fondly. "Your place is cozy," he compliments after he's done with his inspections. "It shows that a literature major lives here." "Thank you?" You say confusingly, causing Jimin to chuckle. "It's good. My room is like that too, to be honest. You should visit someday." Your eyes widen at the next proposal. Is this how he is always? Before you even speak, he beats you to it. "I should really get going now, thank you for today." You stand up and watch him walk towards the door and then remember why you had actually invited him in the first place. "Ah, wait!" You exclaim out and run infto your bedroom as you grab the umbrella quickly. As you walk towards him and stretch out your arm to hand him his umbrella, he breathes out a silent laugh and it does nothing to calm your thumping heart. You clear your throat before speaking so your voice doesn't let you down by cracking. "Thank you again for this." "My pleasure," he smiles sweetly once again as his eyes almost close because of the smile. You bite the inside of your cheeks to hide the smile that was threatening to appear on your lips too. "I'll see you later then?" "Yeah, sure." ~~ After that night, texts from Jimin had become a daily thing in your life. From good morning and good night texts to talking about each other's days to very, very random topics. The two of you got closer and closer each day, and each of those days, your feelings grew too. You didn't tell anyone about how much you two had talked but you were sure Woosung and Ailee probably noticed since they'd end up sighing every time you smile at your phone. Every day that passed by, you'd find yourself waiting for his texts. And when he won't respond or text, it would affect your mood too much which was starting to scare you. It had been a month since Jimin had visited your place and since Ailee and Jongin's relationship too. You had met Jimin once after that time too but it was more of a coincidence than planned. The two of you were at a comic cafe to relax yourselves from the stress of the midterms and you couldn't find a better way to relax than read comics and so did he. Though you regretted wearing your old, oversized grey hoodie with your black leggings that day. You could've chosen a better outfit at least but he saw you that way and there wasn't anything you could do. You were sitting outside in your campus park with Ailee and Woosung again as you three silently stuffed your mouths with food after a long day. You were on your phone and so was Ailee while Woosung was busy with watching the scenery laid out in front of him of the green campus ground and the students scattered here and there. You were explaining something to a classmate about your project then once you were done, you place your phone on the wooden table. Jimin hadn't texted for almost two days now and you were really, really missing him at this point. The last text you had sent was two days ago too, a text saying: You [11.49pm]: you've seen me in okayish clothes and you've seen me in that traditional hoodie of mine... It was a conversation about how you'd dress in specific places. It was a random topic but it had started when Jimin reminded you how you looked tiny and like a small koala bear in the hoodie you were wearing at the comic cafe. Quite embarrassing if you ask, since that hoodie was really old and it looked like it too. You probably looked homeless... Your phone's vibration pulls you out of your train of thoughts and flashbacks and you pick it up immediately as a smile forms when you open the message. Jimin [10.17am]: and I'd love to see you dressed up too. You [10.18am]: and how is that possible? Jimin [10.18am]: since it's the end of the semester... wanna come to our party? You jump up when Woosung's voice rings in your ear, startling you completely as he makes a comment. "He's got skills..." You look at him confusingly as you try to calm down from the jump scare while Ailee was eyeing you both with even a more confused look. "Stop it," you smack his upper arm lightly as you push him aside to move back into your place and open up your phone again to reply. You [10.20am]: I mean... not a party person but sure? You bite your lower lip as you start to imagine all the little scenarios in your head. He invited you. You. To his party. You weren't exactly the party type of person but if it was someone inviting you, you wouldn't say no right away unless you didn't know the person well. But Jimin... well you kind of knew him and maybe this was one way to know him more. More about the people around him and how he is when he's not looking like the calm before a storm. You wanted to know and see what he's like when he's in a different atmosphere, when he's the one who's hosting and known by others. You wanted to go just because he was there. ~Jimin's point of view~ He sees your message a little while later after he leaves the bathroom and goes back into his room. The guys were planning a party before the finals started in a week and it was normal since they had always done that. Jimin [10.47am]: great. i'll pick you up at 8 then. He smiles to himself as he throws his phone on the bed before walking out to the hallway towards Jungkook's room. "Jungkookie~" he sings out sweetly whilst opening the bedroom door to see the younger one busy on his laptop. He didn't notice that Jimin was there until he saw the reflection on his laptop screen. "Hyung, you could've knocked." He complains as he removes his headsets. "As if you'll hear me if I did... anyways, who's going to be here tonight?" "Jin hyung has dinner with his family so he said he can't and also he said he'll be staying at his home tonight. Hoseok hyung said he'll see when he'll be done with the dance classes. The rest... you know... will be here." Once he's done listing the guys, Jimin nods then pats his shoulder and is about to walk out but stops when Jungkook speaks again. "You're acting weird..." "Sorry?" Jimin looks at his friend with an oblivious look but stops when the younger doesn't buy it. "Ah... the girl I met, (Y/N), i invited her too so I guess I'm nervous." Jungkook scoffs at the last word and shakes his head while he turns back to play his game. Jimin walks down the stairs to prepare something to eat since his stomach had been grumbling for a while now. While he spread the strawberry jam on the bread, his mind wandered to you. What will you wear tonight, how will you look after you actually put on effort in your looks. You already looked attractive and adorable in the casual thing and even in that horrible hoodie of yours. It still looked cute and made Jimin want to see you more and more in any way possible. Maybe inviting you to a party won't be a good idea since there will be people he knows and some don't get along with him. What if they pick fights while you're there? What if his ex... his actual ex is there? He didn't worry too much about the one night stands or the girls he kept around for a while, like the freshmen. But the two people he didn't want there tonight were: Miyeon and his ex. Miyeon wouldn't say much but after a day or two, she'll create a huge argument with him for no reason at all just because he "drank too much" or "flirted with another girl". And he really didn't want to ruin this for you. As for his ex, she was shameless. After all they had gone through, she always had the audacity to come back unexpectedly. Jimin had taken care of it a year ago but he still saw her around at times, saying things like "it's a coincidence" or she'd say "didn't think I'd see you here." Tonight, it was for you. If only, he just wanted to know you more at least then maybe he can take it slow later but tonight, he wants his attention to be for you only. Tonight, it's to start something new. He was about to go upstairs to text Miyeon to make sure she doesn't show up tonight but stops in his tracks when the doorbell rings and Yoongi walks into the kitchen after a while, followed by Miyeon. "I was going to text you just now," Jimin comments when she walks towards him silently. Yoongi didn't bother listening to the conversation as he silently got into making a snack and coffee for himself. "Were you going to invite me?" She asks, voice full of hope. "No, I was gonna tell you not to come." Jimin's words come out as rude as ever, making both Yoongi and Miyeon look at him in surprise but Yoongi knows not to butt in so he gets done with his task quickly and leaves the room before things get serious. He hated being there when people fight and ask for him to back them up... unless it's really needed then he'd step in. "Why? Aren't you guys having a party tonight? Why can't I be the-" "You know why," Jimin finishes up his juice and drops it into the sink before walking out the kitchen. He knew Miyeon was following him into the bedroom so he kept the door open as he walks in and sits on his chair to organize the papers on the desk. "Who are you meeting this time?" Miyeon asks. She knew by now what Jimin does when she's not present at these kind of parties. He would either bring a girl or target one in the place and take things to different levels. Though she usually wouldn't say much to him before, just a few days of ignoring or avoiding after a small argument but this was getting too much that she actually started to get hurt. "Jimin-" "Miyeon-ah," Jimin sighs out in frustration as he spins his chair to face her. "You know you're not supposed to ask me these things." "It's getting too mu-" "Stop. You know what we have between us isn't exclusive. You know that, I know that and maybe everyone around us do too. So stop." He warns her strictly as he gets up to look for one paper that apparently went missing. He didn't want to fight Miyeon, she was just a friend who knew what she put herself in and that's why he never wanted her involved but she still did and he had to make it clear. But to Jimin, it seems like she still can't accept it. He realizes that it probably came out too rudely so he breathes out in frustration again. "Look, i told you before any of this started and you said you can handle it. I would never do that to you but you said it was easy to handle it." "I know you told me not to Jimin but I'm starting to have actual feelings. I already did from long ago but I could control it before... not now," Miyeon confesses weakly as her eyes start to water a little. Jimin feared this. Ever since him and Miyeon started this, whatever this was, he feared this would happen. That she'll catch feelings and it'll be too late to go back. "I told you. Miyeon-ah, I told you. I fucking told you not to do this," his voice rises with each word and it makes her flinch a little. "What was I supposed to do, Jimin? You really think it's easy, do you? What was I supposed to do?" She whines and screams out this time, making the atmosphere even more serious as he runs a hand through his hair. "You should've left! You should've left with no feelings. I told you that you can leave if it gets too mu-" "I love you, Jimin!" This time it's Jimin who gets surprised and stares at her in disbelief. This isn't how it was supposed to be... this wasn't supposed to happen. He breathes out loudly as he runs his hand through his hair again, looking around at anything but her. He couldn't look at her because he knew what he did and that's why he never wanted Miyeon to be involved in these things. But things turned out this way and this was out of his hands. He couldn't see her this way. It was his fault but he had to ruin her more if he had to fix her, if he had to help her escape this. The silence was starting to creep in until Miyeon breaks it by speaking again. "You think I don't know what you go around doing? You think I don't care when I say I don't... or that it doesn't hurt me?" Jimin finally looks at her in the eye and decides to throw in his "discoveries". "Don't act so innocent. You think I don't know that you meet up with other guys... and girls? You think I don't know what you're up to? You're seriously getting unbearable day by day, you know that? Acting like this with me and then claiming this." Jimin scoffs at her expression but before he says anything else, she mutters out something so low that he demands her to repeat. "Say it again. Go on. Say-" "I do that to hide away my feelings towards you or stop whatever this pain is!" "Don't act like I never warned you or told you what THIS is! I made it clear before and you said you can do-" "Well, I can't do this anymore!" The two of them scream at each other back and forth until there's a knock on the door and they both look at the same direction as Yoongi walks in with a cold glare. "That's enough," he says with a calm but demanding tone that manages to shut both of them up. "You two need to relax and talk it out. Not scream out your lungs." As he says that, both the guys' eyes widen when Miyeon bursts out crying and drops on the bed. Jimin looks at her with a pitiful and broken look as tears threaten to leave his eyes too. He looks away and clears his throat to stop himself. It wasn't as easy since he could feel Yoongi's eyes boar holes in Jimin and his ears picking up the sniffles of Miyeon. He really didn't want this to happen. At least not to her. As much as he messed around, he never wanted Miyeon to get hurt since she actually meant something to him. She was someone who he had a soft spot for. She was always pure and innocent, she kind of understood him well and she always did her best when it came to Jimin. There was only one other person who had the same soft spot in his heart before Miyeon... his ex. The girl he hates with all his energy now. The girl he can't stand anymore. The girl who ruined him and he had done the same with her... it was a never ending cycle. Yoongi orders Jungkook, who was standing outside the room with Taehyung, to bring some water for Miyeon from downstairs. He runs down immediately while Taehyung looks at Jimin from behind Yoongi but before the younger could do anything, Yoongi walks in the room and closes the door as he orders Jimin to sit down too. The boy takes a seat at the chair by his desk as his eyes look over at Miyeon, who was done crying in front of them but she still looked like she wanted to cry more. Yoongi hands the tissue box to her and walks towards the door again but he doesn't leave, just leans against it before he sighs out and speaks. "Whatever this is, I have no right to be in this... but I interfered because it sounded like someone had to. This... thing between the two of you, if it was getting this hard. Why did you continue to ruin each other this way?" "Hyung," Jimin starts but stops when there's a knock on the door as Jungkook hands the water to Yoongi that he ordered earlier. "I told her from the start what this is and that she could leave." Jimin says, way more calm than before as he watches Yoongi hand the glass to her and walk back to where he stood. "And it's not my fault that I have these feelings." Miyeon complains after she takes a sip, her voice shaking. Yoongi shakes his head in disappointment and clicks his tongue before his last statement. "This whole situation is wrong. From the start till the end. Now you two decide what you want and do it properly and maturely, yeah? Without trying to make it sound like you want to rip each other's skin out." Jimin looks up at his hyung and then at Miyeon who stands up quickly as she grabs her stuff. "There's nothing to talk about." She adds as she walks towards the door and leaves. Yoongi gives Jimin a death glare before he leaves too while Jimin sighs out in exhaustion with his palms covering his face. After a few seconds, he feels someone walk in and he looks at the doorway to see Taehyung leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest. He didn't look happy or proud either. "You've done it now. What makes you think this is a good idea?" "Tae~" Jimin groans as he walks to his bed to lay down for a while and think it through. He avoids looking at his best friend who was still staring but sighs and confronts him again. "I'll talk to her." "It's not that ... and i don't think she would want to listen." "I know, but I'll take care of it." As everyone leaves the room, Jimin finally stares at the ceiling as he lets his thoughts take over and lets his mind wander off to Miyeon and - you.

~(Y/N)'s point of view~ You were done with your makeup and the shower at least one hour later after coming home from your classes. Today was a more relaxed day since one class had gotten canceled so you came home after lunch with Woosung because Ailee had to leave to celebrate her one month anniversary with Jongin. You were really happy for the two... after all the feelings they kept inside and how frustrating it was getting seeing Jongin stare at her lovingly, all by himself, they finally opened up and took the opportunity. You had told her and Woosung about going to Jimin's party and they both had to make lewd jokes about it. As if he'd do anything. What if he wasn't even interested in you that way? You shake your head out of thoughts and get back to getting ready. It was already 7.40pm so that meant Jimin would be here any moment. You had chosen a plain navy blue dress that hugged your upper body nice and tight, showing your curves and the shape of your waist but was less tighter waist down stopping just a bit above your knees. You looked good but you weren't feeling good. Not being used to these type of parties, you didn't know whether you should stick to dresses or just jeans with shirts. You stare at your reflection once you’re done and ponder over what your final decision would be. Was this okay? Should you change it - maybe you should. But as you turn to rummage through your clothes, the ringing of your phone startles you and you freak out when you see Jimin's name on it. He must be downstairs already; you had no time to change or anything so you grab your phone and a small purse before running out the door towards the stairs that led you downstairs to the entrance of the apartment building. Before opening the door to step out, you freeze to take a deep breath and relax your nerves then proceed to open the door to be greeted by Jimin, busy on his phone. As he hears the door open, his head shoots up to look at you and you watch his eyes widen a little. Once you get closer to him, his eyes look you up and down as a smile rests on his lips, making you blush at how he was eyeing you. "Does this look okay?" You ask nervously as you flatten the cloth and smooth it out for no reason. He doesn't respond right away so you try again. "It's a bit overboard, right? I'll change it." As you turn around to run upstairs, Jimin stops you by grabbing your wrist and he smiles contently while shaking his head. "You look really pretty. You don't have to change this." Your heart starts to crash against your chest as your mind only focuses on one thing, his hand around your wrist. You'd do anything to keep it there at this point. He breaks your thoughts when he lets go and speaks. "Let's go then." You clear your throat and walk behind him, watching him open the car door for you while a smile is still painted on his lips. Such a gentleman, you think to yourself while whispering a thank you to him. Once you're on the way to his dorm, you share conversation together and as you get close to his university, Jimin starts to tell you things about tonight so you don't feel uncomfortable. "... and most of the people, we don't even know them well." He laughs at that then his eyebrows raise when he remembers something. "Speaking of that, I'll introduce you to two or three of my friends, so in case you get lost or don't find me just go to one of them. Don't trust anyone else other than them." His tone was calm but really dominating and you smile shyly while you look at him. "You think I don't know how these parties go?" Jimin turns his focus from the road to you then reverts at the road and chuckles when he sees your amused face. "I'm just saying... it's not your college and if you feel uncomfortable or anything then you'll have people you know." He explains softly and your heart melts at how caring he was being and how soothing his tone was, especially at this atmosphere. By the time you reach the dorm, you could see how many people were there already. It was 8.15pm when you arrived and for some reason you did feel uneasy. Jimin was right. You really didn't feel in the right place and it was making you nervous. You feel a hand rest on the small of your back and turn to look at Jimin offer you a sweet smile, making your heart jump and skip a few beats at the contact. He pushes you lightly to make you walk towards the house that had music booming from inside while you look at the few people outside the house and prepare yourself for the inside of this lively place. When Jimin opens up the door, the first thing your senses pick up is the smell of alcohol and the loud music. They really knew how to throw a party. The lights were dim and you saw the colored party lights put here and there. There was even a small Dj corner and a group of people already dancing, you walk past the kitchen and the atmosphere there was a little less crowded and chill as people went to get drinks or food. Overall, the place was crowded with people already and some were drunk already too. It was the typical university party but since you weren't used to these things, you were starting to feel even more uncomfortable. You notice how some girls were eyeing you, maybe because of the fact that they knew you weren't a student here. Or maybe it was Jimin and how he was close to you, pushing away people to give space to you that had people give you stares. You jump up in surprise when he leans towards your ear to say something over the loud environment. "Let's go out to the backyard first." He suggests as his hand grabs your wrist again and he leads the way, making a clear path for you along the way. You were grateful for him at this point. When you two reach the backyard, the energy here was a bit different from inside. Students were playing games like, beer pong or jumping into the pool or just drinking. A group of guys grab your attention when they yell out Jimin's name and he walks towards them. He smiles at them smugly when you reach them and you smile shyly while bowing a little. "Here she is, (Y/N)," Jimin sings out and the 4 boys smile at you sweetly and it doesn't help calm your heart whatsoever. He points at one boy one by one as he says their names. "Okay so this is... Jungkook, Jin hyung, Hoseok hyung, and Taehyung... these are my friends and if you need anything and I'm not around, just let them know okay?" You nod hesitantly and smile at them all again. "Yoongi hyung... where's he?" "He's being the Dj we never asked for since he doesn't approve of all the songs we picked." The boy named Taehyung speaks before taking a sip from his red cup. "Would you like to drink anything?" The Jin dude speaks and you forget how to speak for a minute. He was mesmerizing. The plump lips and those pretty, glistening eyes of his and his blonde hair dropped down and stopping right over his eyebrows. He was just too pretty. He chuckles at your state and shakes his head. "I know, you've never seen anyone this handsome, have you?" You frown at his words confusingly and watch the others laugh as one of them hits Jin lightly. "I'm here if you need anything... we all are." "Thank you," you finally speak up and listen to the others talk about random things. You didn't know Jimin was gone for a while until he came back with two red cups, handing one to you. "I don't know if you want to drink right away so I brought you coke." You feel soft as he says that and smile at him thankfully. The four guys made you relax after a bit more chatting and told you who was the oldest and youngest and also gave you a small brief of what each of them do and major in. It was mostly business but they still did other things that weren't business related. You also found out that Jimin and the rest of them were all super rich kids who were probably the heirs of their fathers or grandfathers' businesses. But the person who caught your attention the most was Hoseok, he was a dancer and also owned an academy that he worked hard for. He was really nice and made you feel nice and comfortable. Telling you stories about one of them or Jimin, making sure you didn't need anything or if you were feeling okay. Jimin kept going and coming every now and then since a lot of people would want to talk to him about their issues but thanks to Taehyung and Hoseok, you didn't feel uncomfortable. Around 10pm, everyone went to have fun in their ways or flirting around. Jimin was with you, leaning against a pillar as the two of you bucked along with the beat of the music lightly. You hadn't drank a lot of alcohol but you were worried if Jimin was starting to get drunk. Or maybe he was just having fun. You were watching Hoseok and Taehyung dancing together until you feel Jimin drag you into the pool of people and he starts to dance too, encouraging you to join him. If you hadn't had some of the drinks from before, you would never agree but the adrenaline in you was begging to be released so you let the music control you. You feel his hands grab your waist and control your movements to sync with his as he gazes at you with his dark eyes and a smug smirk on his lips. Your heart beats harder than it was already beating as you look at his plump, red lips and lick your own before leaning in towards him. He rests his forehead against yours but before any of you could move one more step up, he moves back when Taehyung drags him outside, leaving you to dance alone but eventually you walk into the kitchen to grab something to drink. It was rude to just leave like that but maybe they had a reason since you saw them from the kitchen's window outside on the backyard with serious looks on their face. You bite the inside of his cheek since it was still not right to just leave midway like this. Jimin basically ditched you in the party since you didn't see him after that until you walk through the hallway to see him drunk and flirting with some other girl. Their faces were really close and he had her trapped between him and the wall and she had a small smile on her lips that made you sick and jealous. He also looked like he was too drunk to make sense of anything. You contemplated whether you should go to him or not and you decided to walk away to find someone to hang out with. You spent the rest of the time with Taehyung and Hoseok and they also had you meet Yoongi too. He was pretty - just like all of them. He seemed mature and kind of intimidating with a look of pure disinterest, though he did look like he was having fun when he was controlling the music. You talked or just listened to them talk but your mind was elsewhere. The thought of Jimin with that girl was too much and you couldn't handle that. He invited you here to spend time together yet he left and found someone else to have fun around and that hurt you. You weren't going to wait for him to appear again. This wasn't right to you and sure you just met him and he must be well known here or maybe he had reasons but you weren't going to stay in this party and be sad when he doesn't come. It was almost midnight when you had decided to leave without a word. But once you walk out the house, a familiar voice speaks out, making you turn your head. "Leaving already?" It was Yoongi. He didn't seem drunk or anything. Did he not drink? He was leaning against the wall but pushes himself off it to walk towards you. "Uh... yeah. I'm tired." You reply nonchalantly but don't look at him. "I'll drop you home," Yoongi says and walks towards one of the parked cars outside the garage. "Aren't you drunk? It's illegal to drink and drive." You say that to try and turn down his offer but he wasn't taking no as an answer when he opens the door and sits in so you just sat in the car. You did need a ride home and Jimin said you could trust his friends. "I don't drink a lot and... I didn't drink tonight." He comments when you relax into the seat. The car ride was mostly silent after you had explained your address to Yoongi. He played music but kept the volume really low and kept his gaze on the road. Neither of you say anything but then Yoongi breaks the silence, making you turn your gaze and attention to him. "A right from here?" He asks for reassurance and you nod, whispering a yes. He hums lowly and clears his throat before continuing. "Umm... I apologize for how Jimin acted earlier. He usually doesn't get drunk that quickly." "It's okay," you say and try to continue but he speaks again. "No it's not okay. He shouldn't have done that but... if you're mad then I hope you forgive him. He had a fight with one of his friend in the morning today. She's a close friend and it got serious and she left without resolving so maybe..." Yoongi drifts off and lets his words fade away when he notices you staring at him. "Look. All I'm saying is that, he isn't always like this... he wasn't like this," he rephrases his words and tries to explain as you continue with your stare. You frown at his last sentence and start to ponder at what he really meant but instead of asking about that, you ask a stupid question. "Were they dating?" "What?" Yoongi's eyes widen and he looks at you before turning his focus back on the road. "The friend he fought with... were they dating?" "Uh... no... not that I know of. She's a close friend to all of us so I don't know," he states but you could have sworn you heard his voice shake. The rest of the ride was silent. You were too annoyed and kind of hurt to speak more. Yoongi had dropped you off and drove back to the party after saying that he'll let Jimin know. You only nodded to that then thanked him for the ride home and went inside. All of this, all of this makeup and the worry of the outfit turned out to be useless and for nothing. Of course you weren't looking for something drastic or different to happen but somewhere deep down you wished you did experience something more than just... this. It had been a week since the party. You hadn't met Jimin or talked to him as of that. He did message you the day after the party, apologizing for the most part and saying the same thing as Yoongi had said but then that was it. He disappeared. Again. You figured he likes doing that since he has done that more than once now. The good side of you always ended up with creating excuses for him... maybe he was busy, maybe he had some issues that were personal, maybe he was studying. It could be anything. But something in you always told you to be careful even though you had ignored that voice before. But for some reason, you wanted to meet Jimin, hang out with him, get to know him. You just missed him. And that moment the two of you had shared in the dance area that night, you kept going back to that memory even though it would get ruined by the image of him flirting with another girl. You were in finals week now. Tomorrow was your last exam so you had packed your bag to go to your parents house for a few days after your exam is done. You were currently at work, you requested your manager to let you work earlier so you have time to study later on and not stress over it. Standing behind the register was your task today... it was as boring as ever since not many people were coming in here at this time. You had at least 20 minutes left to go and you were getting exhausted but thankfully your shift was almost over. You were busy flipping pages on your notebook when you hear the shop door open up and a guy walks in with a little girl. You welcome them politely and watch them go through the displayed clothing items. The two were busy talking to your co-worker as she was helping them out with their process and you just stand there, waiting for them to come up with their things. The door opening gets your attention again and you look at the guy that walks in and your heart drops for some reason. He was wearing a black cap and a mask and the only colors you saw on him were the little ends of his pink hair sticking out from beneath his cap and his olive green jacket, other than that he was in full black. His head turns to your direction but then he looks away quickly and walks further into the store. Something in you starts to make you a little uncomfortable. You keep an eye on his figure as a precaution but your attention gets taken away when the first customers come up to the counter. You smile at the father and daughter and explain the process to them if they want to return or exchange after giving them the change. Your eyes skim over the store once they leave and you notice how that guy was staring at you too. The blood flow in you becomes rapid and you suddenly grab your phone without making it obvious... the situation just seemed suspicious. You try to act calm and normal when he approaches the counter and smile at him softly. "Welcome Sir, how can I help you?" You ask as you straighten up. When you see his eyes up close, he just seems familiar but you don't focus on that too much until he pulls down his mask. Your body turns cold right away when he smiles at you sweetly. He stands there with an apologetic look and a sweet smile at the same time. You put on your "tough" face and look away to fiddle with something else. "What is it Jimin?" You ask in a serious tone without looking up again. "I came here to apologize for how I behaved that day at the party. I shouldn't have ditched you or ignor-" "I am at work now Jimin. I can't talk about this here." You watch his expression change in a matter of seconds and it causes your heart to drop even deeper down. Of course you were mad at him and you were going to show it but... you were scared that he'll leave and disappear again if you act cold. "When do you get off work? I'll take you home." You stare at him blankly, disbelief written all over your face. He wasn't asking, he was stating it. You knew you had no time to refuse or argue so you tell him to wait somewhere outside, letting him know that you'll be done soon. Jimin was sitting at the bench near the store you work at. He was busy with his phone when you step outside and he doesn’t notice until you clear your throat to inform him of your presence. He shoves his phone into his pocket and smiles at you. "Did you eat anything? Let's go get something to eat," he suggests but you refuse him quickly. "No... Jimin, I have an exam tomorrow and I need to study for it." He stares at you for a few seconds before speaking. "I do too. But let's eat before I take you home, okay?" You just nod and follow him towards the food court since you knew you had no other options. The two of you ate together and Jimin even apologized a lot for what he had done the last time you had went to the party. From the information you gained by listening to his side was that the girl was someone he had known for a while and she thought he had some sort of feelings towards him. The other thing he had used to his defense was that he was very drunk that night due to some issues he wanted to forget. And that had you remember what that Yoongi guy had told you that night too so you stare at Jimin and nod at him before speaking. “Your friend Yoongi told me that you had a huge fight that day,” you say as you take a sip of your drink. “Yeah, she’s someone I really care about. And when we fought, she stormed out without really talking it out with me.” You were staring at him speak and get lost in your thoughts for bit. Trying to read his expression, you realize later that you were staring too much so you clear your throat and look down at your drink. You knew he was staring at you too but by the time you look back, his eyes were at his plate. “Did you guys make up now?” You ask to make things less awkward and he shakes his head no before continuing. “I texted her to tell her that I want to see her but she ignored it. Seenzoned me.” He chuckles it out and you notice how his smile actually disappeared after he looked down. He must be really sad about it. You stare at him for a bit trying to figure out why did that girl mean so much to him. Yoongi has given you a brief explanation of her being a close friend but you knew there might be something else. Jimin’s expression made it look like it had to be something more. You were about to ask something else but he beats you to it first. “Anyways, when is your final tomorrow?” “Ah... it’s at 10.30am.” He nods at your reply and continues. “So it’s a bit earlier than mine,” you frown at his statement and wait for him to continue. “I was thinking... maybe we can hang out together tomorrow?” Your body turns cold at his words for some reason and you stare at him for a bit, thinking if you wanted to be petty or just be straightforward. “I’m going to visit my parents tomorrow after I’m done...” You tell him and watch him nod in understanding, disappointment written on his face once again. The two of you eat in silence for a while but then Jimin starts conversations little by little and it gets less awkward for you and you forget about the last time you two had went out together. Once you were done, Jimin offers to take you home and you knew he wasn’t taking no as an answer. The car ride was as casual and relaxing as the meal you had with him. He was so different and nice today and you found yourself staring at him often. Everything about him seemed more welcoming this time, his energy and the attention he put on you, it all felt so nice and welcoming. Once you had reached your place, you didn’t get out the car immediately. The two of you stare ahead, neither of you saying anything for a while. You look at Jimin and your body turns cold when you catch him staring at you already. He doesn’t look away even when you catch him staring. The blood rushes to your cheeks quickly and you feel your face turn warm gradually. You clear your throat before speaking. “Umm... thank you for dropping me home, Jimin.” You thank him nicely as your hand tries to unlock the door, making an escape from his gaze. “No problem,” he smiles sweetly. You give him a smile back and turn your head afterwards to look for the darn door handle since your hazy mind wasn’t helping you. Your body freezes when you feel his hand wrap around your free wrist all of a sudden as he says your name in a low voice. You look at him with a confused face and a hint of surprise. “Yes?” You ask when he didn’t continue. “I was thinking... actually, I wanted to ask when you’re going to go to your parents tomorrow.” “Umm... maybe around 3pm I think. I didn’t pack yet so I’ll probably pack tomor-“ “I want to take you there.” Jimin interrupts you and it takes a while for you to comprehend what he had just said. When Jimin realizes the shocked expression on your face, he adds more to it, letting you know that you have a choice. “If that is okay with you.” “It’s okay with me but-“ you say almost suddenly, your mind noting the embarrassment you felt right when you said. Once that embarrassment grows, your words fade away and your eyes find comfort in how his hand was wrapped around your wrist. You fall silent. You didn’t know how long you two had stayed quiet for but it did feel long for you when Jimin finally asked. “But?” His face tilted a bit so he could see your face. When you look at him, your eyes meet for a long time and you could feel your heart beat faster and your pulse run faster too. “My parents... they wouldn’t really...” you were lost in his eyes by this point. The confused error mode you were in made him look at you in amusement as you tried to get words out. “It’d be really nice but it’s just... my parents...” “Well, isn’t it too early for parents to meet me?” You see his lips stretch into a small cheeky smile as your body and mind freeze at his words and you stare at him with wide eyes. He breaks into a small laugh once he realizes you were really shocked by his words. You didn’t comprehend his statement well since your mind was bringing up a lot of reasons and scenarios and possibilities. Jimin must’ve noticed the confusion so he smiled after a while and continued, “I’m just saying I’ll take you there... we don’t have to meet your parents if they won’t be okay with it.” He asks for your answer and you look at him for a while as your mind comes with a proper way. Your mouth opens to reply to him and a smile is dying to stretch your lips while you answer. The next day. You walk out the class after the exam hours are over, Woosung following you after with a exhausted sigh. He wraps his arm around your shoulder and you both share a tired smile. The two of you meet Ailee outside and she gives you guys pats on your backs with a huge smile. “You guys are donee~” she sings out while her hand keeps on smacking your shoulder. “Ugh... I think I got at least 10 questions wrong.” You stare at Woosung in surprise after he talks and while he looks in the distance, focusing on nothing. “Why?” He gives you a sarcastic expression as his eyebrow raises. “I don’t know... maybe I didn’t know it,” his tone was drowning in sarcasm and you smack him to stop his sarcastic attitude. “Well I tried to help you in studying but you’re not even focusing much lately,” you say and watch him walk towards an empty picnic bench. You lightly push him from the back in annoyance and give him a frustrated look. “You’re still not focusing.” Ailee smiles at you and walks in sync with you towards the bench as well. You fish out your phone from your bag and look through the notifications you got, trying to see if that one message came or not. A tiny smile emerges on your lips as you read Jimin’s message that he sent an hour ago saying that he’s still up for it to take you to your parents home. You feel Ailee’s and Woosung’s eyes on you and it makes you look up with a straight face as you clear your throat. You could hear their taunts in your head already and before you could stop them, Woosung suddenly speaks. “What’s so fun on your phone,” he asks but you could tell from his tone that he wasn’t expecting an answer so you wait for him to continue. “Did you pack yet? I haven’t.” “Ah... no not completely,” you say casually. You had to tell him that Jimin was taking you to your parents place this time. You and Woosung lived in the same neighborhood during high school when you both still lived with your parents and your parents were close too. There were a lot of times when he was the one who’d taken you to your parents house whenever you wanted to visit after you moved out for university. You could tell he wasn’t in the best mood today so that was making you nervous. You knew he would feel frustrated after hearing it right now. “Actually...” you open your mouth to speak and see them both stare at you, anticipating your words. It was making you even more nervous and you start to stutter. “Wait,” Ailee interrupts you and looks at you and Woosung back and forth. “You two are going together? What about Jimin?” You look at her in disappointment for bringing this up like that. You told Ailee last night after you went home how Jimin offered to take you to your parents house but you didn’t tell her about Woosung agreeing to take you too. The look on his face was scary enough right now too and it made you ten times more nervous than you already were. You give Ailee a “how dare you” smile with disbelief written all over your face. “What about him?” He asks and you knew you had to say it now before he loses his patience. A tired Woosung was not meant to be messed around with. “The thing is,” you shift in your seat as you speak and move a little close to Woosung even though he was across the table. “He... ummm... he told me he’d take me... to my parents’ place.” You study his expressions, eyebrows frowning in confusion then his eyes shifting and his jaw clenching. He doesn’t say anything so you just ask something. “Are you mad?” “Yes. I am,” the tone of his voice was no joke either and it gave you chills down your spine and you could tell Ailee had felt it too. Before either of you could speak, he continues. “Why is he taking you and why did you even agree to him taking you there?” “Woosung, she likes him. That’s why.” You could tell Ailee was on defensive mode now too and you silently wished these two wouldn’t argue. “Okay. And? (Y/N), you just recently met the guy. Spent a couple days with him only and he even ghosted you a few times. How dumb can you be right now?” You were now annoyed too. Sure, Jimin has ignored you before and it hurt you but he was still responsible enough to own up to his mistake and make it better. “What does it have to do with anything, man?” You ask him in annoyance and frustration. “Look. I know we both agreed to going there together but this is one of the few chances I’ll get to meet Jimin. I don’t want to waste the-“ “You’re not wasting anything but yourself,” he interrupts you quickly. “Excuse me?” You scoff at Woosung’s words and you could tell he kind of regretted it too but that didn’t stop him. “Come on, the dude has fuckboy written all over him. You don’t see it?” “Yeah well you can’t just judge someone. Besides you haven’t even met the guy, you only saw pictures and heard stories,” you retaliate. “And those were enough for me to realize what kind of a dude he is,” Woosung makes his last point and stares at you with an upset expression. Almost as if he was disappointed in you. “You’re so blinded by his looks and his flirtatious manner. You don’t even see why he’s trying so hard.” “Oh wow. Thanks Mr. I Can Read Through People. I really needed to hear that,” you mock him sarcastically. He opens his mouth to argue back but just lets out a defeated sigh and looks away. “I can’t believe you. I’ll see you tomorrow then,” he gets up with a sulky expression and grabs his bag. “Reach home safely you two.” You and Ailee watch him walk away with disbelief painted onto your faces. You were confused to why he was even mad at you for this, it was understandable at some extent but then he was yelling at you for something you wanted to do. This wasn’t like Woosung at all. He words left a tightening feeling in your chest and a lump created in your throat. You were hurt. You give Ailee a confused look and she speaks up, “Don’t worry about it. Just go with Jimin. I’ll talk to Woosung,” she tries to calm you down since it was clear you were now worried and hurt. “You’re not even close to each other to talk about these things,” you leave a remark as you get up as well. “I have to go pack. I’ll see you after a couple days. Have a good break.” “You too,” Ailee smiles back at you and squeezes your hand as a gesture to let you know she’s here. You manage to smile back at her and walk away. By the time you showered, got ready, and packed up your bag, Jimin was out the minute you finished up with everything and pinged his message to your phone. You look back at your apartment to make sure you weren’t forgetting anything for the week that you’re going to spend with your parents. Your parents were usually very strict with you during your high school days and the first year of university. It was Ailee and Woosung that helped you in convincing your parents to let you move out since it was a big hassle to commute for 4 hours back and forth everyday. You couldn’t live with Ailee since her apartment building had no vacancies back then so you choose a place near her and as for Woosung, he lives really close to the campus and there was no way you were going to risk asking your parents if you and him live together, even thought he’s literally the only guy friend you have that your parents are okay with. You two did grow up together and are really close. Your mind reminded you of your argument with Woosung earlier, causing you to take out your phone from your pocket to see if he sent anything. He didn’t. You were very hurt and also worried as your parents might get suspicious to how you got there and using the bus was a big no no to them as well. You couldn’t lie either since your parents and his parents would make a mini gathering welcoming the two of you for the visit. You bite the inside of your cheek as you make your way out of your apartment to go to Jimin. You were happy to spend time with him but this whole Woosung issue was eating you up right now. Jimin looks beautiful, as usual, in his blue jeans and his black turtle neck, sleeves rolled up too. It made your heart jump for some reason and you think to yourself, “how can someone be this good looking in such simple attire?” You must’ve looked concerned since the minute you stand in front of him, his smile disappears and he tilts his head trying to study your expression. “What’s wrong?” He asks you, causing you to feel your blood rush inside you for some reason. You contemplate whether you want to tell him or not because at this very moment, you really needed a hug and Jimin looks welcoming - too welcoming actually. “Oh, umm...” you start off and almost tell him nothing but something in you tells you to be honest about it. “I had a fight with one of my best friend, Woosung. And he stormed off without saying anything.” “Oh. I’m sorry about that,” Jimin replies honestly and you can tell he’s worried about you more than Woosung or the fight. “Are you okay?” He asks as he steps closer to you and you shake your head lightly as you recall the argument. “I just want a hug right now.” You state your want and without thinking, Jimin wraps his arms around you body and pulls you into a hug. Your eyes widen as you were clearly shocked by the sudden contact but you can’t help but take in his warmth and his “manly” scent. He smells very comfortable for some reason somewhat a mix of eucalyptus and spearmint which makes you wraps your arms around his waist as you squish into his warmth and hold. You two stay like this for a minute or so and he pulls back with a smile and takes your mini suitcase with your stuff in it from your side to put it in the car as he opens the door for you. You thank him in a low voice and give him a small smile as you sit in the car and watch him walk over to his side of the car. He sits comfortably and runs his hand through his hair before sighing lightly and looking your way. You look at him too, waiting for him to say something. “You can talk to me about the argument if you want. If it makes you feel any better,” he tells you as he starts lowers the temperature of the air conditioner. You look down at your hands and think about it for a while. He might give you a bad reaction once he finds out why Woosung even stormed off and you were somehow worried. You bring up the courage to tell him but you make it quick and short and after you’re done telling him, you notice a different look on his face and you’re worried you pissed him off. You bite your lower lip as you wait for him to say something. A part of you wishes you hadn’t even agreed to him taking you to your parents house... what were you even thinking. He clears his throat and looks at you with a sweet smile once again and says. “Well, I don’t know what to say to be honest,” he says calmly. “I can understand why your friend would be mad but I’m also glad you made your own choice. And umm...” he pauses for a bit, taking your hand into his and looks at you. You stare at him too and your cheeks turn warm the minute a thought pops into your head. You even forget that he didn’t even finish his sentence. “I’m glad you chose me.” He says with his soft voice as he stares into your eyes. You could feel the blood rushing through your entire body and you could feel him coming close, or was it you leaning towards him. It was silent in the car for a bit and neither of you broke the eye contact until the sudden ringing of Jimin’s phone gives you a jump scare which you laugh it off. Jimin clears his throat and lets go of your hand, making you miss the warmth right away. He runs a hand through his hair and starts the car before answering his phone. He was talking to Taehyung and it sounded like he had to cancel something to be here and it made you feel a bit bad. Jimin tells you it’s nothing to worry about and that he can hang out with his friends any other time too after the call had ended. The car ride was actually really fun. The two of you got to know more about each other. Your hobbies and the friends you have and how many siblings he has. One brother. His friends were a lot but according to him, his circle is the one you had met back then at the party. You told him about Woosung and you talked about how Jongin became close to you and Ailee too. You also found out that Jimin had a very strict father but his mother seemed adorable. He talked about a huge fight that happened between some of his friends too which caused one of them to cut ties with most of them. He didn’t go into details but either way to you, it seemed like Jimin still cared for that Namjoon friend of his. You were all-ears to his stories and it was just natural how the two of you were talking so peacefully and it wasn’t awkward at all. The ride itself was peaceful and really fun. It was a great relaxing moment for you to spend time with Jimin with you two being alone for so long like this. By the time you reached the town, you started to worry how you will tell your parents you got here with Jimin. They might end up killing you for going out with a guy they don’t know anything about. And it won’t work lying that you came with Woosung since you didn’t know if he is still on the way or if he already is there. Your mums would probably have a gathering at night once they see you. You were wondering what to do when a chime comes from your phone, bringing you out of your thoughts. It was from Woosung. “Woosung said to meet him at a bus stop near my house so I think that’s where you should drop me,” you say to Jimin who had his ears perked and his eyebrows raised. He only nodded so you decided to guide him through the streets until you reach the bus stop. Woosung was already there when you reached. He was sitting with a kid and they were both smiling while the mother was on her phone. It somehow made your heart flutter and you ended up smiling too. You turn to thank Jimin and wish him a good vacation but he suddenly suggests that he will drop you both to your houses since it’s be better. You get out the car to greet Woosung who greets you back but his smile drops when he sees Jimin come out the car too. “Thank you for bringing her safely,” Woosung says out of the blue. “We’ll be heading our way now.” “I suggested to (Y/N) that I will drop you both to your homes. It’s across each other anyways.” Jimin says coldly and you already sense the tension between the two. When you saw how Woosung reacted earlier, it was clear that he didn’t like Jimin. But you never realized that Jimin doesn’t fancy your best friend either. Maybe it was because of what happened and that you told Jimin what Woosung said about him that might give Jimin the wrong idea. You were silently panicking inside, trying to figure out what to do now. The two of them were quiet and you felt it, the tension this silence was bringing. Before you could even say anything and before Woosung could reject the offer, Jimin smiles and tells him to get in as he grabs his backpack. Woosung takes it from Jimin’s hand and walks after you. You could tell he wasn’t happy about it but he didn’t argue either. He ends up suggesting that you sit in the back seat for now and you knew it wasn’t going to get you anywhere if you disagree right now so you silently obliged to his suggestion. You saw Jimin’s “fake” smile and the small frown his eyebrows were falling into but he didn’t say anything. The three of you buckle up and the car starts to move towards your street. Looking out, you end up remembering the memories you had here when you used to live here. The times you and Woosung would walk home from the bus stop and the shops you’d stop by at to get snacks. Those were some great times in your mind and you hoped they were great times in his mind too. He was a really special friend of yours and you didn’t want to think of life without him in it. Woosung’s voice brings you out of your memory lane and you look at the back of his head as he tries to converse with Jimin. “I didn’t think you’d be a guy with pink hair,” he jokes sarcastically and Jimin lets out a small snicker and chuckle before answering. “I just wanted to try something new,” he says softly while his eyes were on the road. Your heart flutters at his voice for some reason and you sit and stare at him in awe with how gentle he seems and how good he looks doing the most minimal things. “I see,” Woosung says, making you come out of your thoughts. “I have always wanted to dye my hair light red or burgundy red.” “Oh really? You should,” Jimin adds, “but I hope you choose well because not everyone can pull off colors like that.” And you could see the way Woosung scoffs and speaks. “Yeah, I know.” You didn’t understand whether they were genuinely having a conversation or were they subtly throwing shade at one another. Either way, you were being completely ignored even after you tell Jimin to take the upcoming turn which he misses. The two of them were just “talking” and the car passed the turn and you just sit and wait for them to stop. “Umm guys,” you say after they both become quiet. “Yeah?” They say in unison. “We passed the turn,” you tell them and Jimin lets out a small “oops” then Woosung asks why you didn’t mention before and you scoff at him. “You were sitting in the front!! You should’ve seen it tooo,” you complain. “Plus you two were so busy talking that when I did say it, I got ignored.” “My apologies,” Jimin says in his calm voice as he turns the car to take a u-turn. “I was so engrossed talking to my new friend.” He adds and you could tell the sarcasm in his tone. “Why, me too,” Woosung retaliates sarcastically with a smile that you just couldn’t figure out. You could tell the atmosphere wasn’t good and you sat and beat yourself up in your head for thinking it’d be a good idea for the three of you to be in one place. Especially on this specific day. You were relieved when Jimin stopped his car two houses away from your house since you didn’t have to worry about what will happen of these two spent two more minutes around each other. Woosung was getting the bags out and Jimin just stood there smiling at you while you smiled back at him. You thank Jimin for bringing you here safely and ask him what will he do now. “Well,” he says while looking around. “I saw a motel around here so I will stay the night there and drive back tomorrow.” “That’s good. I should text you the good places in the town then!” You exclaim rather excitedly and it causes Jimin to smile at you. The kind of smile that makes your stomach melt and your heart skip beats. The kind that gets you lost in those few seconds making it feel like a long time had passed. “Yes, thank you for dropping us,” Woosung interrupts and clears his throat. He lightly pushes you forward to keep you walking and reminds you where you were. He turns and thanks Jimin for bringing you safely too and you smile at how his nice side is always there no matter what. He starts to walk towards you but then turns around and says something to Jimin and they both nod. Unfortunately, you couldn’t hear the words that were exchanged that moment but they seemed less tense then so you guessed it’d be a good thing. Once Woosung comes up to you and gestures you to keep walking, you decide to ask him what it was that him and Jimin said but he just shook his head and said “nothing special”. The rest of the evening was pretty much the same as always when you and Woosung would visit your homes during break. His house was just on the opposite side of your house so his family would bring in food to your house or yours would go over to their house. Today, it was your family that were hosting. Dinner was good as always. Your father was a chef and his food and cooking were just delightful and homely. Everyone was talking and chatting about each other or asking you and Woosung of life in the city. You were relaxed when no one asked how you got here because had someone mentioned it, you knew you’d get nervous. Your parents never really approved of you meeting up with guys they didn’t know. Or any guy as a matter of fact. But Woosung had always been an exception. Sure in the first years of your friendship, there were many incidents that must’ve been hell for Woosung but with time, your parents just seemed much more relaxed when they knew he was around. After everyone had settled and eaten, everyone was busy with their own thing. Your parents’ were drinking wine and talking about God knows what and you decided to walk out to the back yard. You were actually thinking of Jimin and if he got to a hotel safely and if he ate or not. You were wondering about him when you hear the back door slide open and Woosung smiles as he joins you sitting on the porch. There was an awkward silence since you two hadn’t talked about what happened earlier at the university today. You still didn’t know why Woosung reacted the way he did. He seems like he’s feeling better right now but you really weren’t sure at this moment. This was the first time he snapped and reacted this way towards a guy who was talking to you. To be honest, you were quite taken back and confused by it but of course he has his reasons so you wait until he feels comfortable enough to tell you. Which by the looks of the vibes meant that he was going to say something, maybe he didn’t know how to start or what to say. “Is everything okay?” You ask, deciding to help him form words and start the conversation he so desperately wants to have. “Oh - uh - yeah,” Woosung stutters and clears his throat. “It’s just... I wanted to apologize about how I behaved earlier.” He wasn’t looking at you but at the grass and the wooden steps that you two were seated on. “Earlier as in?” You ask trying to clear out which earlier he meant. Did he mean the morning at your campus or when him and Jimin were sharing the sarcastic and unpleasant remarks back and forth? You wait for him to reply but he seems like he was really having a hard time getting his thoughts right. You had never seen Woosung this way before and it made you wonder if he really was alright or not. “Woosung?” You add, genuinely worried now with how he seemed. The puzzled and confused expression he had and the uneasy and uncertain look in his brown eyes was not something you were used to. Despite knowing each other for so long, this was the first time he seemed the way he seemed tonight. He looks at you and smiles softly before continuing. “The things I said earlier about Jimin and you back at uni,” he starts. “And also how I got mad at you.” “It’s okay,” you reply but he interrupts quickly. “No, it’s not. I shouldn’t have said the things I said. Yes that’s what my opinion still is but I’m sure you know how to handle your life and I shouldn’t have interfered with your life like that.” You frown at his words, not really knowing how to react or say to that. He still seems like he doesn’t fancy you being around Jimin and just couldn’t understand his quick judgment. Usually he would try to hang out and talk about it with you but why was he so annoyed at Jimin specifically, you had no idea. Woosung looks at you and smiles once again before saying. “I’m just worried about you.” And with that, he gets up and walks back into the house. You sit there bewildered with his energy and his words, wondering what was going on with him for him to behave this way. Yes he is awkward at many cases and he sometimes finds it hard to express how he feels and all. But this just overall seems like a whole different scenario to you. This wasn’t how you’d usually expect Woosung to act like. Was he still mad at you? Were you supposed to apologize to him too? You didn’t even know. A ping from your phone pulls you out of your thoughts and a smile forms on your face when you see Jimin’s name. He had texted to ask you if you ate and you two sent texts back and forth until it was time to sleep. By 11pm, your parents had already fallen into their sleep and you were still awake. Jimin texted you after a while suddenly and his text made you blush but also nervously excited. Jimin [11.15pm]: Can we meet now for a bit? You weren’t sure why he wanted to meet so suddenly but you sure didn’t mind at all. Your parents wouldn’t mind you leaving the house either since you would usually walk out the house or go for a walk whenever you visited so it wasn’t something abnormal. But you had to make sure they don’t know about Jimin and you had to make sure no one in the neighborhood or town would see you two together. There was a hiking track near your neighborhood and you decide that’s where you and Jimin could go. It would probably be empty... plus there was a spot you had which had the view of the town from there. You text Jimin back and ask him to stop next to the house he stopped at before while you go and put on some tights and a hoodie since it’d probably be breezy out. Your heart skips a beat when you see his reply that he had sent right away after you suggest where he should stop. Jimin [11.20pm]: already been waiting there *wink* How long had he been there? You smile sheepishly and tell him you’re walking towards there now. You spot his car and notice his eyes on you as there was a smile plastered on his face too. He sings out a sweet hello when you sit in the car and leans in for a hug. You were taken back by the hug but you hug back with just as much enthusiasm as he was hugging you. He smelled really nice too. His hug was cozy and warm and you could tell your heart will yearn for this comfort in the future too. Once the hug was broken, you see how he had his hair slicked back and wow did he look stunning. Your mind wished he’d kiss you and you instantly blush at the thought and look ahead, clearing your throat. He asks you where you should go and you suggest the “secret” place and he chuckles lightly at your choice of word and lets out an “oooh” teasingly. Looking in the back of the car, you notice he already had got some drinks and snacks as well which causes relief in your mind that you won’t have to go through the town and risk being seen with Jimin. Once you reach the spot, Jimin turns off the car and reaches back to grab the bag of snacks and drinks which makes you notice his features close up and the shape of his neck and jawline. Your mind was busy coming up with sinister thoughts that were too inappropriate for younger ones. Jimin smirks lightly and it causes you to blush and look away quickly. He probably knows what you were thinking about judging from his cocky smile. When the two of you close the car doors, you finally remember the peace this place brought you. The cool breeze and the distant noises of people or critters. The way the night wrapped the town and the way the stars shine. It always brought you a kind of peace you never found anywhere else. This specific spot right here held so many memories as well and it was a place to unwind and release all the thoughts or stress too. You just loved it here. You watch Jimin walk towards the edge of the cliff and he looks around in awe, his eyes sparkling at the sight and he breathes out a “wow”, barely a whisper but you could hear it. A smile forms at his reaction and you walk next to him putting your hands in your pocket and speak. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” You ask and he nods silently. “Very,” Jimin adds while his head turns to look up at the stars. “I see the Big Dipper from here too!” He suddenly exclaims excitedly, pointing towards the sky and you laugh out while agreeing with his excitement. “Wow, I like this secret spot of yours.” He adds after a while. The two of you were quiet at first when you decided to sit on a long flat rock. You shared snacks and you drank cola while Jimin was drinking a can of beer. He loved beer apparently. He said it helps him relax after a long day to set his mind loose and ease himself. Out of the blue, you just suddenly started talking about your memories here. Memories from highschool, the day you first met Woosung and how the two of you got close. Your memories together and your friends. You opened up about your parents and how they are strict and how you can’t really confide in them when you have a hard time in life. Jimin listened throughout the entire time. He actually sat there and genuinely listened. Only speaking when he felt like he needed to make remarks or he’d laugh at a memory that was funny or cute. Unknowingly, you two got closer to each other as the night grew deeper and cooler. Jimin was only 2 inches away and he was leaning on one of his stretched arm which was stationed behind you while you were feeling cozy close to him. You were so busy talking and enjoying the view and time that when you turn to look at Jimin while laughing at a memory, you notice how his eyes were on you. His eyes were studying your features and he seemed determined to achiever what his mind was telling him. Your smile slowly fades away as you make eye contact and then your eyes fall to his plump lips and you feel him getting close... or maybe you were getting close to him. Your mind and body completely alert and nervous about what was going to happen. Nervous about all the thoughts you had, all the wishes and hopes you had to interact with him. Your eyes close the second your lips graze against each other.

______________________________________________________

Hope you all liked this! Part 2 will be coming out too!!

Leave a comment or ask or feedback! I will appreciate it :)

[omismask]

6: angel, baby

Miya Atsumu adored Troye Sivan's music.

He always felt his entire body connect and become whole, from the tips of his toes to the ends of his hair strands. He felt his mind and heart finally at peace with one another, wishful feelings and rational thoughts aligning. Troye Sivan's music anchored Atsumu down to Earth, reminding him that everything he was, is, and will be is in the dwelling place of mortals.

Love song after love song, his heart was pirouetting on the edge of it all. When would he ever experience love?

He had nothing to worry about. When he first got into Sivan, he had found out that he was gay. Weeks later, he came out to his family as bisexual. Months soon, his friends. No one left his side after finding out, as they should.

So what made finding the living epitome of this four letter word much too difficult to find?

Years passed. So did his crushes. A few girls, mostly boys on his record though. Some liked him back, some hit him hard with rejection. Those who reciprocated didn't stay. Those who rejected made fun of him.

Years passed. Now playing as setter and ace server for the MSBY Black Jackals, Atsumu was crushless. He had given up. Love was too far out of his reach.

Until a new player joined them. New to the rest, yet a dashing train of nostalgia to him. Sakusa Kiyoomi. Volleyball ace in the high school division. In the college division, too. Prickly, picky, uptight, strict, stern, and blank. His first and constant impression of the curly haired Tokyo boy.

I fall in love with the little things

He helps him with his laundry. He teaches him random recipes. He files and cleans his nails for him (turns out he hasn't been doing it properly). He teaches him nail art. He helps him attach colored hair extensions for when they go partying. It was all minor acts of kindness, but it meant a lot to him.

Counting to ten, who's on your skin?

They fought. A lot. They always irritated each other. He always forgot to put down the toilet seat. To put the plates in the dishwasher. To close the refrigerator door properly. To lock the door at night. To bathe the dog. They always talked it out at the end of the day in the midst of small touches and slight smooches.

Tell me a secret and, baby, I'll keep it

He couldn't watch horror movies because it always gave him nightmares, losing sleep for nearly two weeks. He didn't like coffee, but still accepted the coffee packets they were given for free every month by their sponsors. He couldn't sleep without a weighted blanket. He sometimes wears women's underwear because he likes the breezy feel. He wants to grow his hair and nails out but his profession and passion prevent him from doing so. Inside jokes, dirty secrets, scandalous gossips, and dimmed bedroom lights in the early mornings.

And maybe we could play house for the weekend

They ate together. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. They bathed together, massaging shampoo into each other's hair with added scalp massages on Saturdays. They did chores together. He did the dishes while the other folded their clothes. He mopped the floors while the other cleaned the windows and mirrors. They borrowed each other's clothes. Shorts too loose due to absurdly thick thighs, sweatpants a bit too long due to a few added inches, and strands of either blond or black on knitted clothes. They slept together. One side of the bed smelled of the countryside, the humidity after the rain, and the flowers blooming in the spring. The other smelled of Tokyo stores, candies of peppermint or matcha or honey flavor, and the slight burn in the air after a serenade of fireworks on special occasions.

I just wanna live in this moment forever 'Cause I'm afraid that living couldn't get any better

A golden band was slipped onto his ring finger, a matching one on the finger of the person who slipped in on for him. The room was adorned with dove white and marigold yellow. People cried, smiled, and cheered in the background.

Started giving up on the world forever Until you gave up heaven so we could be together

Atsumu was a mere mortal. Kiyoomi was, too. Heaven, to them both, was not a place, but a person.

"Angel," Kiyoomi says in a hushed voice.

"Baby," Atsumu replies in the same tone.

Miya Atsumu adored Troye Sivan's music. Up until the point he played this song during his proposal, his bachelor's night, his wedding day, and for the entirety their one-month honeymoon.

When wishful feelings and rational thoughts align, that's love.

link to the song w/ lyrics!!

A/N: When I first heard it, the entire concept of Atsumu being a Troye Sivan fan immediately popped into my head. It's messy, I know. But this is just me trying to cope from school stress. I'm literally always surprised when I open Tumblr and see people actually liking this stuff. Y'all are sweethearts I hope you have a good day/night <3

[maggielindemanns]

tag nine people to learn about their interests!

TAGGING: @ijzerengels @calumthoodshands @redrattlers @thenervousduck @arzkiya-hai @kritiquer @lesbianearn @sondergf @embeddedinmybrain @vexedtonightmares @tsjernobyl @bandsanitizer @tarcyjonsson and anyone else that wants to! idk who did this or not, sorry if you already did it but you may of course ignore me.

aaaa also thank you @ottelu for the tag! love u bestie <3

MUSIC

fave genre: r&b and pop, for sure

fave artist: ariana grande, halsey, savannah ré, normani, alina baraz, kiana ledé, chloe moriondo, troye sivan, the neighbourhood, bastille, 5SOS (& luke hemmings solo !!!!!! my baby) — basically i love music, we been knew, i have so many faves i can’t pick one

fave song: rn it’s for sure ur best friend by kiana ledé ft kehlani or girl on tv by chloe moriondo

most listened to song lately: according to last.fm, it’s wild side by normani agskdhsk i do wish she released it without cardi tho i’ll die on this hill idc its fine i just skip her part

song currently stuck in your head: you right by doja cat actually and ur best friend i couldn’t stop singing those two at work

five fave lyrics (in no particular order, there’s too many i love omg)

“i know i’ll never meet your expectations / but the picture that you paint of me looks better in your mind” — high, 5SOS

“you don’t believe in one divine / but can you tell me you believe in mine? / ‘cause you’ve been my god, my god / and when you’re gone i’m godless, i’m godless” — godless, banks

“you’re the only one, you’re the only one / i’m so wrapped up in a daze / hoping this is just a phase / but when all is said and done / i know you are still the one” — the only one, the black keys

“i get lost inside all the stars in your eyes, it’s a galaxy / you control the tide like the moon in the sky, you’re the gravity” — more than enough, alina baraz

“standing there, you look at me / understanding everything / yeah, it’s so fascinating / you patch up the blood and the cuts / but our blood got mixed up / so i guess we belong to each other” — love song, yungblud

radio or your own playlist | solo artists or bands | pop or indie | loud or silent volume | slow or fast songs | music video or lyric video | speakers or headset | riding a bus in silence or while listening to music | driving in silence or with radio on

BOOKS

fave book genre: idk i prefer like YA novels and romance i guess but idc really, i just don’t like fantasy stuff like harry potter or . historical fiction?? i guess you could call it?? (tried to read pride and prejudice for leisure ……….. boring as fuck like holy shit) or science fiction like boring boring boring idc no offense to anyone that loves it of course

fave writer: don’t have one really

fave book: aaaaaa i don’t have one of these either !! the one that always comes to mind though is giovanni’s room, but i just love that book, it was brilliant

fave series: mmmm i don’t really like series but caro’s got me into reading trc so i guess that’ll be my fave series once i’m done!

comfort book: rwrb <3

fave book to read on a rainy day: giovanni’s room sgsjdhsj i literally reread it bc it has some of my fave lines ever

fave characters: adam parrish, blue sargent, ronan lynch, gansey but he on thin ice, ari and dante, aiden navarro, alex claremont-diaz, charlie and nick (actually . everyone in heartstopper except the characters that are a plague <3), and more that i cannot think of most likely

five fave book quotes: (again no particular order i love so many)

“My dear fellow, you forget that we are in the native land of the hypocrite.” || “The world is changed because you are made of ivory and gold. The curves of your lips rewrite history.” — the picture of dorian gray, oscar wilde

“topography on the map of you, a world i’m still charting.” — red, white, and royal blue, casey mcquiston

“It is cruel to have made me want to live only to make my death more bloody.” || “I loved him. I do not think that I will ever love anyone like that again.” || “And here my baby came indeed, through all that sunlight, his face flushed and his hair flying, his eyes, unbelievably, like morning stars.” || “And there’s something awful about being at the mercy of a stranger.” — giovanni’s room, james baldwin (ik i cheated so bad w this SHUSH)

“And then I think we all realized what fools we’d been. We might get out sometime, but she was locked up forever in that body.” — girl, interrupted, susanna kaysen

“You and I, we don’t walk the lines. We just follow the echoes.” || “My mother used to say, ‘Don’t throw compliments away, so long as they’re free.’” His face was very earnest. “That one wasn’t meant to cost you anything, Blue.” — the raven boys, maggie stiefvater

hardcover or paperback | buy or rent | standalone novels or book series | ebook or physical copy | read at night or during the day | reading at home or in nature | listening to music while reading or in silence | reading in order or reading the ending first | reliable or unreliable narrator | realism or fantasy | one or multiple POVS | judging by the covers or by summaries | rereading or reading just once

TV & MOVIES

fave tv/movie genres: coming of age, romance (ehhh to some degree), i like indie movies, idk same as books i dont like science fiction, historical stuff, or fantasy im boring okay

fave movie: dont have one tbh

comfort movie: speech and debate or easy a

movie you watch every year: dont have one

fave tv show: dear white people or skam + remakes, i like other ones tho like stranger things

comfort show: skamverse <3 not exactly an answer but mhm

most rewatched tv show: skamverse or dear white people OR THE FOSTERS …. dude …….. i used to watch that all day every day then they took it off netflix …. now it’s dance moms i play for background noise and watch on occasion

five favorite characters: lionel higgins, joelle brooks, olive penderghast, lucas lallemant, eleonora sava, fallon carrington, howie (speech and debate), connor walsh, annalise keating, wes gibbins, archie coleman, ellie chu, beth harmon, lara jean covey (yes here i am overlisting again i’m so sorry)

tv shows or movies | short seasons (8-13 episodes) or full seasons (22 episodes or more) | one episode a week or binging (well …. i don’t binge actually i have a horrible attention span) | one season or multiple seasons | one part or saga | half hour or one hour long episodes | subtitles on or off | rewatching or watching just once | downloads or watches online

[uwua3]

first time he kissed a boy.

🍁🥇🍰 settsu banri x hyodo juza

summary: a collection of moments where juza and banri kiss and never speak of it again, until they do

warnings: alcohol, arguments, enemies/rivals, insomnia, internalized homophobia, kissing, mentions of death, nightmares, sexuality crisis

author’s note: firstly, there is no serious nsfw in this song fic! the most you’ll see, as seen in the title, is kissing !! :D i do not sexualize minors even if banri & juza are in university in this piece !!! this is angst with a happy ending :)

word count: 2,522

music: first time he kissed a boy – kadie elder, touch – troye sivan

TROUBLED FACE, HEADPHONES ON

FORGETTING TIME AND PLACE, ALL HE WANTED

“Scared, Hyodo?”

Banri’s touch was wicked—his hold on Juza’s collar was deadly tight, like a king snake’s grip on its victim. His tongue was sharp with words only a man unafraid of hell could speak, and as Banri leaned in closer, Juza questioned how much of this he could have.

“You don’t fucking scare me, Settsu.” Juza cursed, his back rigid against the wall and arms holding himself up in the closet. It was such a small, cramped space; one wrong move and this would be over. Banri laughed meanly, like always. Everything about Banri was so cold, like a double–edged sword that hurt even the wielder. Yet, here Juza was, firmly taking him by the hilt and accepting any injuries.

“Then, kiss me. You won’t—”

When Juza closed the distance and let himself close his eyes, he felt Banri’s breath hitch in his throat. It was such a small, unnoticeable sound, but pride burned at the pit of Juza’s ego knowing he caught the Settsu Banri off guard. Banri quickly adjusted, sitting on his lap and tightening his vile clutch onto his long time rival and sworn enemy.

It was supposed to be nothing more than a drunken dare, a challenge that would never be spoken about again after that awful round of boredly playing seven minutes in heaven with their college friends. But, with the intoxicating liquor upon their lips and the bass bumping in the background as the party went full swing, it felt like more than just two university students messing around in a frat house’s storage closet.

Banri’s devilish smirk tasted of years of unsaid confessions, hidden meanings, and secrets he’d take to the grave. It was something that made Juza realize this wasn’t the first time Banri kissed a boy, he was just the one of many.

When Banri pulled back seconds before the closet door swung open to the cheers of partygoers, Juza swallowed nervously as he felt himself stand up. He felt sober, because that was his first kiss with a boy. Juza’s first kiss was with Banri all because of a stupid dare—and, he liked it.

FEELING STUCK, SET HIM FREE

RUNNING OUT OF LUCK, ON HIS KNEES

It was 3 A.M. when Juza woke up to Banri. Banri, an insomniac who didn’t dare let himself be alone in the middle of the night, was asleep. It was one of the few times Banri was overcome and conquered by his own nightmare monsters, where he either succumbed to the draining force of tiredness or died trying. Tonight was when Banri passed out, unwillingly allowing the darkest crevices of his mind to run rampant and haunt him in the dark.

Banri was muttering something about freedom, a vain concept that others viewed him as the poster boy of, before thrashing in bed, his movements wild and unpredictable. Banri didn’t let himself sleep often because when he did, the worst parts of himself became fueled by nightmare energy. Juza sleepily blinked, pushing himself out of bed to softly walk over to Banri’s side.

A side of the room Juza never dared attempted to trespass until now.

Before Juza could place his hand on Banri’s cheek, Banri immediately yelled and shot up, his breathing uneven and heartbead pounding in his ears. Juza flinched back, not used to such a broken visage of Settsu Banri. Banri made sure that he always come off as an indifferent bastard that got what he wanted. But, now, he was vulnerably himself. The person Banri was most afraid of at night, was himself.

“H–Hyodo, you’re here...” Banri breathed out, attempting to mask the gratefulness and exhaustion weighing down his words. Juza didn’t react at first, simply settling his weight on the bed warily, waiting for any sign to stop. When Juza finally put his hand besides Banri’s, who was slightly shaking, Banri carefully took it, lacing their fingers together.

Banri’s hands were made of irresponsible and childish stories of his past, relentless and unsilenced anger at the rest of the world, and the pain and suffering of someone who burnt out with no purpose a long time ago. These were the calloused, scarred hands of someone dangerous—but, Juza didn’t care tonight.

When Banri turned his head and they were only inches away from each other, when Banri’s half–lidded eyes glanced down at Juza’s lips with no strings attached, when everything that made up Settsu Banri was uncertain, Juza knew he should’ve left. He should’ve never come over to Banri’s bed in the dead of night just to hold his enemy’s hand, just to step over unspoken boundaries from years ago. But, he didn’t move. He didn’t want to.

Banri moved in first this time, his palms sweaty and eyelids fluttering closed with a quiet sigh. When Banri pulled away to drop his forehead on Juza’s shoulder, whispering a quiet “thank you”, Juza didn’t say anything back. Juza slept in Banri’s bed that night, and Banri was gone by morning doing god knows what. Something they’d both regret, for sure.

Juza didn’t ask if Banri was okay from last night’s nightmare, and Banri didn’t bring up how for the first time, he slept for hours without fear.

FIRST TIME HE KISSED A BOY

HE HAD NEVER NEVER KNEW

COVER UP IS WHAT THEY TOLD

FEEL SO COLD

Juza didn’t know if he liked boys. Was it... normal? Why did every adult say boys had to like girls? It didn’t feel right—to see women in a romantic way, he’d never date one. He didn’t recently think this until that one frat party after literally coming out of the closet with his long time rival. Damn, Settsu, always fucking up his head in the most unpredictable ways.

Juza didn’t know why he was questioning if he liked boys. It more came down to whether he liked boys, or he just liked Banri. Settsu Banri, the bane of his existence, who was currently underneath him. Juza never thought he’d see the day Banri would come out on the losing side, but here he was, out of breath but cruel as ever.

Banri claimed Juza was the only person in the whole entire world that could even have a chance at beating his ass. He wasn’t necessarily wrong, but sometimes, it felt like an excuse so Juza could pin him to the ground in victory.

Ever since their second kiss, it suddenly became a casual thing for them to do. To tease each other mercilessly, to initiate intimacy on a wavering grey area, to pull each other close and never let it go. It was all from years of pent up tension that never left them even into college, now they could act on it without defining what their exact relationship was.

Fighting, was one of those previously normal activities that changed in an instant. Banri could’ve easily just swung his legs out to knock Juza over, but he chose not to. Instead, he grinned with his teeth sharp like some sort of tricky predator, letting his wrists be pinned above his head.

“I’ll never lose to you, Settsu.”

“Come on, you know you want to—” Before Banri could finish, he heard the practice room door swing open and Juza was a foot away. Banri sat up and numbly agreed when the Director asked if they were rehearsing a combat scene, to which Juza hurriedly ran with. It wasn’t until the Director left that Banri stood up, facing off with no casual intentions like before.

“What the hell was that, Hyodo?” Banri scoffed, but Juza saw right through it. Settsu Banri was hurt—insulted that he was just some secret Juza kept all to himself. It made Juza feel sick with confusion why he suddenly started giving a fuck about how Banri felt. But, Banri couldn’t know that. So Juza straightened his posture, using his half inch to his advantage and presenting himself angrily.

“Spit it out, Settsu. No one understands anything if all you do is swear.” Juza fought back tooth and nail, but Banri came in swinging, asking the inevitable question that’s been following Juza ever since that party closet challenge.

“Why do you always act like we’re just friends? Are you straight?”

Juza didn’t answer—instead, he looked down at the ground where Banri used to lay. Was it shame that stopped him from responding? Why did Juza feel like he should’nt be into boys? Juza knew there was inherently nothing wrong with guys, but why couldn’t he say it out loud? Banri laughed, but it was so cold that it sliced through Juza’s indecisiveness like a double–edged sword. It was his fault, anyways, he took the hilt early on.

“You—You, you fucking used me?” Banri started off with pure, untamed fury but it trailed off into a moment of weakness. Juza shook his head, eyes wide as he tried to come closer, only for Banri to stumble back immediately with a pointed glare that should’ve killed him on the spot.

“No, no. I didn’t, I swear to god I didn’t. I just don’t know, I’m not ready.” Juza blurted out and the practice room went quiet, with nothing but their labored breathing. Banri took the words in and refused to show any signs of pain, instead crossing his arms and rolling his eyes as if he didn’t care. But, he did, tremendously so.

“Figure it out, goddamn it. I’m not your experiment, Hyodo. I never will be.” Banri finally said and left, leaving whatever undefined relationship they had together. Juza let him go, letting the door slam shut and winced at the sound of someone kicking in a trashcan.

“I like you, Banri...” Juza whispered, his fingertips ghosting over the curve of his lips before forming a fist. Juza didn’t know how hard he punched the wall, but a hole the size of his heart was left in its place.

FIRST TIME HE KISSED A BOY

HE HAD NEVER NEVER LOVED

WALKS ON A CURVY ROAD

FEEL SO COLD

Juza now knew he liked boys in one way or another. Especially one boy named Settsu Banri, an ex (if Juza could call him that) who wouldn’t give him the time of day now. Any walls or defenses Juza managed to take down were rebuilt even stronger, and Banri was not his anymore.

He didn’t know how to tell Banri that he was into him, as way more than enemies and anything else they proclaimed themselves to be, until one motorcycle ride.

“Are you serious? Why do I have to go with him?” Banri complained, emphasizing who his partner for the night was. Juza, unluckily, knew how to ride a motorcycle and all the other seats in the available cars were empty. This meant Juza would have to sit with Banri for over a hour, after avoiding each other for weeks.

As much as Banri was stubborn, Sakyo was terrifying. Relenting, Banri swore underneath his breath and locked eyes with Juza, narrowing them to show he was indeed pissed off about this predicament. Banri’s vivid purple eyes were something that lingered at the back of his mind, and now they were staring him down like he was the worst person in the world. Juza just looked away, his thoughts heavy and all focused on one vengeful boy.

When everyone began preparing for their destination, Juza felt Banri’s arms wrap around his waist and his mind blanked. It had been so long since they last touched each other, that everything within Juza was shutting down. If Banri was made of empty lies, rich boy pretentiousness, and inherent privilege, Juza was made of hardhitting truths, quiet humbleness, and a life of many adversities. How could one boy so opposite of him make him feel so alive? Juza ignored his heart that stuttered at the touch of Banri, and revved the motorcycle engine instead.

Juza looked over his shoulder to check if Banri was wearing his helmet. He wasn’t, but Juza could live with that. Almost on impulse, Juza almost leaned in to sneak a quick kiss before the realization dawned on him: they weren’t each other’s anymore. Whatever that meant to them. So, Juza faced forward and drove off into the night, ready to get this ride to wherever Mankai needed him over with.

As the road curved and the motorcycle’s beams illuminated the street alongside the lamps, Juza exhaled sharply as he felt Banri’s head on his shoulder. It was just the second of what they could’ve had that made Juza park to the side. Banri stirred awake for a moment, the prominent eyebags telling of how little sleep he’s been getting ever since him and Juza called it quits. As Banri opened his mouth, Juza beat him to it.

“I like boys.”

KEEPING BACK THE GHOST INSIDE

LOCKED HIM IN A PACK, ALL HIS LIFE

“I don’t know what I am, but I do know I like boys. I like girls, boys, anyone. I don’t know my sexuality for sure, but I know... I like you.”

Banri took a while before leaning back, examining Juza’s face underneath the flickering street light. It was honest, truthful, and certain, like this was something he knew all along. Sighing, Banri crudely shrugged and revealed his classic Settsu smirk.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

Banri ran his hand through his hair tiredly, willing himself to stay awake for this conversation as he hummed something. Juza gripped the handle bars tighter, the anxiety from confessing such a secret loud in his veins. Would anything change? Could they get back to being together? Were they ever together?

“We... You don’t have to tell anyone about this, Hyodo. I just needed to know this wasn’t some fling.” Or a mistake, Banri finished quietly, his words barely audible over the sound of cars driving past them. The tension in Juza’s shoulders bled out as he turned to face Banri with subtle relief. The pressure to come out suddenly became non–existent.

“So, we’re...?” Juza trailed off, unsure on how to define their relationship with one another. Just friends didn’t do what they did, but friends with benefits wasn’t exactly the case. Juza was sure repressed feelings wasn’t apart of any of those subcategories. Banri let his hands rest at the back of the motorcycle, holding himself up as he stared at Juza with a knowing smile.

“I’m all or nothing, you know that.” Banri laughed and Juza didn’t realize how much different it sounded compared to those seven minutes in the closet. Having a boyfriend, that sounded more than okay.

GET LOST, GET LOST, GET LOST

“Scared, Banri?” Juza was so scared but he was willing to take the risk just to be Banri’s.

“You don’t fucking scare me, Juza.” Banri was absolutely scared, that the boy he’s been obsessed with could just go in and break his heart anytime. But, Banri would let him if it meant he was Juza’s.

Juza didn’t remember how many times he’s kissed Banri at this point, but he did it again and again. Juza kissed Banri—and, he liked it.

[yououghtaknow]

skam brighton season 5 music analysis

hello :) i’ve gone through all the songs on previous seasons of skam brighton and explained why i used them and i thought i would do it for season 5 now that it’s over.

tw for disucssion of addiction, racism, pedophilia, transphobia and homophobia

trailer

we begin with a bang with “don’t blame me” by taylor swift. now it has been said about me that i am a swiftie and it is true. and nick braxton is a reputation era bitch. this song has quite literally it all for nick’s character - we got christian themes, reference to drug addiction and an unhealthy devotion to someone. this trailer has gone through many songs to find the perfect one, but i decided on this one because of the themes, and also because of the line “they say she’s gone too far this time” - which, in regards to nick, can be read in many ways. we got the nick going “too far” with his love for james in subtly trying to break liz and james up, nick and their drug addiction, and nick and their relationship with their gender identity - going too far in both the masculine and feminine directions. also it bangs your honour.

episode one

we!! begin!! with!! saturday night’s alright for fighting by sir elton john!!! because it is saturday night and, as we’vee seen, nick isn’t afraid to get into a fight or two. this song specifically was chosen because of the movie rocketman, which i drew a lot of inspiration from, with the themes of drug addiction and sexuality. also, once again, it simply slaps.

we then get “ymca” by the village people playing in the background over the rest of the party scene. i chose this song because it is a very stereotypically gay song, and a lot of what i wanted nick to deal with was self-perception in regards to stereotypes. he is very stereotypically flamboyant because it’s both the way he is and a defensive mechanism - leading to his bisexuality being erased and being seen as gay a lot of the time. he ‘s pretty much the opposite in regards to his asian identity, with him not being academically intelligent and outspoken and being very british in their speaking patterns. it’s about the balance and duality and all that stuff. 

then, as we are formally introduced to nick’s devotion to james, we get “where dreams go to die” by john grant. thank you to my friend katya for recommeding this song as a nick song because it is just. crazy. every line makes me want to scream. especially “this is like a well-oiled machine / could i please see that smile again? / it's all that makes me feel like i am living in this world”. like that just shows the extent of nick’s love - because sometimes you’re just in love with the idea of being saved rather than seeking help. is that poetic or am i just pretentiously talking about my trauma? who knows.

we then get “overprotected” by britney spears - because britney has been a nick staple the whole series. i first heard the song in the musical & juliet and i was immediately like “oh nick core”. the song opens with: “ i need time (time) / love (love), joy (joy) / i need space (love) / i need me (action!) / say hello to the girl that i am / you're gonna have to see through my perspective”. because we are literally seeing from nick’s perspective. i also wanted to introduce the gender dynamics early - including in the trailer, where nick refers to themself with she/her pronouns - and her nick is referred to in the text of the song as a girl. it’s also a very sad song about not having any control over your life with a fun pop backing track, which is very nick braxton.

we then get another party scene, that opens with “break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored” (by ariana grande) covered by sam fender. i chose this song because 1) i love the cover and 2) god is it a nick song. literally nick has so many wants (to be loved by their family, to get sober, to succeed in school, to explore their gender freely) but he focuses on wanting james and wanting james to leave liz because there are less achievable and thus safer. also the song fucking slaps.

we close with “happy little pill” by troye sivan, a mlm classic. a staple of 2014. i chose this song because 1) drug in title, easy get, and 2) it’s actually a really good song???? it’s about the dissociation. it’s very similar to the scene with bree in season 4 episode 1 where “chandelier” plays as she’s clearly not doing well but she’s pretending for the sake of her friends. nick and bree are narrative foils and i love them.

episode two

the first song of episode 2 is “be great” by lolandre and jeremy pope after we see nick and his dad’s dynamic for the first time. and it’s really something huh. it’s about how christian does want nick to be great, but christian has a very narrow idea of what success and happiness looks like.

the next bit of media we get in this episode is nick watching the first episode of euphoria. when preparing to write various seasons of skam brighton, i watched a lot of teen dramas to get a good feel for the vibe i was going for. euphoria was one of them and it’s a show i have a lot of mixed feelings for - i think it’s very well crafted and extremely interesting but i also do have issues with the sexualisation of teenagers on screen, even if it is mostly realistic. i chose this scene specifically because nick and rue are very similar characters, in regards to their relationships with their parents (i believe nick is more of a jules kinnie but more on that later). they both just want to be a good kid and make them happy, but they can never seem to do it. gia, rue’s younger sister, is also a parallel to nick’s brothers.

we then get “old eden” by honeywater which is just simply a song i like very much that had the vibes of the scene. also the lines “i want love / but i don't just want love, i want you / i see the beach house, your sweet mouth / but the terrible news / is that love is not how it seems on the screen / yeah, real love has problems / but it's what's in-between that's the best” is simply just nick braxton huh. ambiguous disorder.

we then get “generation why” by conan gray as nick storms out of their house after a fight with their parents. i chose it very simply for the vibes because i only listened to this song once and thought “i do not wish to listen to this in my free time but it is a nick braxton time”. it’s just the angsty indie pop main character walking down the street vibes.

we!!! end!!! with!!! a song i love very much - “sex drive” by austin mckenzie of dwsa fame. this song plays over nick getting “rejected” by james and resorting to grindr to feed their want for human affection - which is where the parallels to ms jules euphoria come from. i chose this song specifically because it begins with the lines “who’s driving?” on repeat, which calls into question who is in control in the scenario. as seen on screen, nick is the one who initiates the “date” but, at the end of the day, nick is an underage teenager and the person he’s on a date with is an adult man. also the song is simply a fun bisexual time.

episode three

we open with “hurricane drunk” by florence and the machine, a song that has been decidedly nick core since 2018. like “i’m in the grip of a hurricane / i’m going to blow myself away”...... nick braxton you crazy little person

“yours” by greyson chance plays over nick and james driving out to the woods to skip school together….. it is quite insane. “no matter who i'm with, it's you that i adore / if you're not sure / baby, i'm yours” like i scream and shout nick braxton has always been in love with the concept of james cohen

“myrtle ave.” by mxmtoon plays as nick is feeling isolated from his friends…. like they just vibe with the song and the lyrics so hard. nick is just. i have no words other than i love them.

we close with “st jimmy” by green day because. goddammit isn’t he. like james just comes out as bisexual (just like st jimmy in american idiot the broadway musical) and nick is like “you are like a saint to me, i worship you, i will do anything for you”. like it’s a song about drug addiction but it’s also about being bisexual but it’s also about the performance of masculinity and the performance of being a “rebel” that james and nick both do i love them so much.

episode four

we begin with “lucy in the sky with diamonds” by the beatles. i do not listen to the beatles but i think the song is about drugs and the beatles is a james cohen band in canon so it has the connotations babey.

we then get “seventeen” by troye sivan as nick goes on grindr to seek out adult men. it’s genuinely such a nick song - once again, the fun poppy music in the background and the deeply upsetting lyrics. also, as in season 4, i chose this song to emphasise the fact that nick is seventeen and a minor and should not be doing these activities.

we then get “dancing on my own” by robyn as we’re at the vaguely halloween-esque party. it’s once again about the boppy music and sad lyrics and like. nick voice i’m in the corner watching you kiss her ohhhhhh i’m right over here why can’t you see me ohhhhhhh i’m giving it my all but i’m not the guy you’re taking home ooooh i keep dancing on my own. like he’s fucking insane (he is both me and nick)

and then!!!! we get a scene very personal to me. nick watching rocky horror for the first time at a shadowcast showing and watching “the time warp”. i first saw rocky horror when i was about 10/11 because i saw it on glee and wanted to watch the real movie and it made me so so transgender and homosexual. it is such a non-binary little movie and the time warp is just an absolute bop. 

it’s followed by a brief showing of “sweet transvestite” because tim curry in that movie is such an experience for anyone involved. like oh to be gender questioning nick braxton and to see that. what a fucking experience. and also to be gender questioning 11 year old me and to see that and then find out my school is doing a kidz bop version of rocky horror. fucking insane transgender times.

we close with “cecily smith” by will connolly as milo and nick walk home together because. it is just such a sweet song. like life is not the things that we do it’s who we’re doing them with. and it is a very nickmilo song and i am the president of nickmilo nation. i love a non-binary romance i do i do i do.

episode five

we open with “halloween” by phoebe bridgers because it is literally halloween. insane. but it is also such a nick braxton song like come on man we can be anything…… nick braxton voice i’ll be whatever you want…… it’s about the people pleasing and the desire to be wanted and needed loved and goodness gracious. also nick braxton fig faeth kinnie for this song specifically.

and then!!!!! we get nick dramatically singing “girl crush” by the harry styles version in his bathroom mirror. because goddammit they do have a girl crush. it’s about the gender and the desire to both be with james and to be liz becausenick is non-binary babey……..

and then!!!!! in such a parallel!!!!! we get milo singing “inner white girl” from a strange loop on their instagram live. “a strange loop” was a big inspiration for this season, with very similar themes fo it (you should listen to it right now) and this song….. quite genuinely we have nick singing a song about wanting to be a white girl and then they hear this song….. like nick does cling to his inner white girl as a way of staying safe - they cling to the safe idea of mlm flamboyancy and humour to hide from their genuine emotions and gender……. like it is insane to me. also white girls can do anything can’t they!!!!!!!

we then get “the people who raised me” by gregory and the hawks after nick has a fight with their parents…. “but i won't mind no time spent to save me / just trying to be good to the people who raised me” literally nick is trying his best to be good but he can’t be and that makes him angry!!!!!! but that anger is born out of a deep, deep sadness that nick has no emotional language to express, but anger is a language he can speak and it is. insane. like it’s about masculinity, it’s about femininity, it’s about everything. fuck. 

we then get "search your heart" by george feeny as nick sadly vibes at school…. also this scene does parallel with the liz/mary scene in season 2 where their parents fight. like liz is shitty to her friends but stays for her sister and nick is great to his friends but leaves his brothers behind….. the range.

and then!!!! we get phoebe bridgers’ cover of “friday i’m in love” because it is friday and nick is in love huh.

and then!!!!!!!!!! a moment i have been building up to!!!!! we get “back to black” by ms amy winehouse after nick finds out james has a crush on alistair thee fletcher. and just like. god. this song has everything for nick. it’s a song about depression, addiction, leaving your lover, anger, bitterness, second choice ness….. and also he is literally going back to black with his hair colour!!!!! because he thinks being more masculine is what will make people love him and he views pink hair as un-masculine!!!!! and he’s also going back to his family, so he’s going back to trying to hide himself to fit into their expectations….. like god it is an insane little time.

episode six 

we open with “idk if i’m a boy” by blue foster - a song i got on my discover weekly and it was a deeply personal attack. like nick voice i don’t know if i’m a reject i don’t know if i’m a loser but i know that i’ve been feeling feminine since i’ve been teething…. and how the song uses humour as a way to cope with gender dysphoria like it’s nick bay bee.

we then get “green light” by lorde because god it is such a james/nick song i feel insane. like “did it frighten you / how we kissed when we danced on the light up floor?” because james and nick have canonically kissed many times before….. also lorde as an artist just has such intense nick vibes it’s so much fun

we then get "fluorescent adolescent" by arctic monkeys over a party scene because i’ve been told on the internet that it is a british teen party classic. unfortunately the rowdiest party i’ve ever been to is my cousin’s christening so i do not know if it is factual, but it does slap. 

we then get vérité’s cover of somebody else by the 1975 because i just simply prefer this version. but like. oh nick braxton. oh it’s about the rori and the james and the nick being afraid of being open and committing to someone but still wanting to feel the sense of being wanted by someone and being the sole person they want….. literally it is very crazy.

and then we end with “sugar we’re going down” by fall out boy!!!!! like it it such a good song nick voice am i more than you bargained for yet!!! i’ve been dying to tell you everything you’ve ever wanted to hear!!!! because that’s just who i am this week!!!!! like it fits so well with his character but also it is so funny that sugar we’re going down plays as they faint at the party……. i am a comedian sometimes.

episode seven

the first song we get in this ep is “demi moore” by phoebe bridgers as nick is detoxing in the hospital. like quite genuinely “i don’t wanna be stoned anymore!!!!!!!!” they don’t want to be alone anymore!!!!!!!!!

then we get “bite the hand” by boygenius. just. like. “i can’t love you the way you want me to” is just. such a statement for nick’s season. like he can’t love james the way james wants to be loved by nick, they can’t love their parents, their parents can’t love them…… it’s all about learning how to love in a way that is felt by all parties involved in the relationship be it romantic, platonic, familial or otherwise. like. it’s so insane it’s all about love

and then we get “relay” by fiona apple - which was a contender for the trailer song at some point. like nick @ alistair is very “i resent you for being raised right etc.” because he knows liz is fucked up and has flaws, he’s seen them, but alistair is easy to project all of his hatred onto. also just like evil is a relay sport thank you ms apple.

we then get “girls just wanna have fun” by cyndi lauper and “dancing queen” and “mamma mia” by abba sung at the lgbt youth club karaoke night because. i mean of course they are. also they are very fun gender songs and i enjoy them :)

and then. my friends. the moment you’ve been waiting for. nick braxton singing alanis morrissette’s “you oughta know”. now this is gonna be a long one.

the you oughta know analysis

first things first, i got the jagged little pill broadway behind the scenes book for christmas and there’s a whole chapter about you oughta know being a song about the queer struggle of being unseen and unheard and i feel so validated like that is exactly what the song is about.

but for nick. oh baby. it is them singing to james, to rori, to al, to liz, to bree, to his parents, to his teachers, to everyone who perceives them wrong. it’s their moment of standing up and saying i am angry and i am serious about this and i deserve to be listened to as a young person. i will now give an in depth analysis of every line i want to.

“the perfect version of me” - bree and nick have had so many parallels throughout the series, which bree can be described as a “better” version of nick. they’re in therapy, she’s taking care of herself, they’re bisexual and it’s accepted by everyone, she’s a good partner to rori, she has parents who love her, and she can be gender non-conforming in a safe way. but this line also applies to al - because nick and al have also been compared this season, with al talking about how he’s comfortable with his femininity and james liking al, who, despite claiming to be more feminine, is still more traditionally masculine than nick. al, bree and liz are all very academically smart. they are all very creatively gifted. liz doesn’t struggle for money. nick, in their mind, compared to all of these people, is a failure.

“so she speaks eloquently / and she could have your baby / i'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother” - this applied to both liz and bree, who both try to be seen as very eloquent speakers, and who are both afab, so therefore can have james’s baby - something nick wouldn’t be able to do. but we have seen in liz and bree’s seasons that they both have sexual trauma, and bree especially is uncomfortable with having children. it’s nick having this idea of womanhood and femininity being something so unattainable and required for james - that it kind of segways into al. because al is also assigned female at birth and could, as he is pre-t, hypothetically have a child, which is playing into some transphobic notions, but nick sees al as both more feminine and more masculine than him - making al just perfect for james.

“and every time you speak his name / does he know why you told me / you'd be there until you died / 'til you died, but you're still alive” - nick changes to he pronouns here, now directly talking about al. we’ve seen james flirting with nick and we know they’ve kissed in the past, and james and nick are incredibly close friends. but james still, in nick’s mind at this point, chose al over him.

“it was a slap in the face / how quickly i was replaced / and are you thinking of me when she fucks you?” - the conversation about how all the skam brighton characters relate to the line between sex and love is so interesting to me. it is also the reason i do not allow my parents to read this show. but anyways - nick does feel so genuinely replaced by everyone in his life, like there’s always a newer, better version waiting just around the corner. what nick doesn’t know is that that is how everyone else around him feels as well. and the line “are you thinking of me when she fucks you” is such a pointed line because it’s not a line of confidence or a joke. nick knows that no one thinks about them like that because they feel repulsive but try to play it off as a joke.

then we get the “i” section, which is, in the script, more “ayes” and “nahs”, but i wanted to change it to be the word “i” specifically because so much of the season is nick existing for other people. for their parents, for their friends, for their clients, for james. in this moment, they are choosing themself. they are standing up and saying “what i feel is important and i fucking matter”

“'cause the joke that you laid in the bed, that was me / and i'm not gonna fade as soon as you close your eyes / and you know it” - because nick’s sexuality and nick as a romantic partner is treated as such a joke throughout the show’s run, and james has been trying to turn every time he kissed nick into a joke that will go away, but it’s not going to go away because nick remembers it. even if james tries to deny his sexuality to nick’s face, nick is always going to remember that james was, at some point, attracted to men enough to kiss him.

“and every time i scratch my nails / down someone else's back, i hope you feel it / well, can you feel it?” - every time nick has sought out sex with strangers it’s because they feel rejected and insecure in themself. they seek out this sexual validation as a way to feed their want to be loved and noticed by people and he wants james and rori to feel hurt by it - he wants to have the power, he wants to have the control.

“and i’m here” - this line is just. so powerful to me. because it’s a line of defeat - after all this time, nick’s ended up at some crappy youth group with his little brother babysitting him, and he’s been dumped and cheated on and overdosed and everything is so awful. but then it becomes a line of celebration. of “yeah, all that shit happened to me, but i’m still here, i’m still standing, and no one can take away the fact that i am here and i am alive and i deserve to be respected” - something milo taught them when they talked about their tattoo 

“to remind you of the mess you left when you went away” - nick himself is the mess they all left - because they feel so abandoned and alone and like they are just a mess to be discarded, but he’s here to remind everyone that he’s here. it’s a call for help.

“it's not fair, to deny me / of the cross i bear that you gave to me” - this line i always saw as directed at his parents - they gave him this cross of being the perfect eldest sibling that ended up crushing him, and they deny that it ever happened. but nick knows it did. the same way he knows james like guys. the same way he knows rori didn’t like only him. the same way he’s been denying himself of the cross he bears of being non-binary, the cross of being an addict, the cross of being a mentally ill neurodivergent person. this song is him finally letting go of that denial.

“you oughta know” - he’s talking to everyone with that line. everyone should know about his pain, about his emotions, about what he’s gone through, because he’s kept it so bottled up for years. it’s not fair for him not to share it because he deserve to.

they don’t call me isaac tumblr user yououghtaknowmp3 for nothing.

episode eight

we open with “seven” by taylor swift as nick reads a letter they wrote to their younger self. like. “i used to scream ferociously any time i wanted” is such a line about being neurodivergent as a child and then being forced to mask as you grow up….. also the bridge is just james and nick core…. you should come live with me and we could be pirates…..

we then get “nonbinary” by arca because i feel like at this point nick would be trying to listen to more nonbinary artists because they want to see themself reflected rather than running from it!!!!

we then get “heather” by conan gray as nick and liz accidentally meet at the local mentally ill teen zone. because i am just fucking crazy like that. and yes, i chose that song before it got big on tiktok. but i think it’s funnier because it is a famous song.

we then get “falling” by harry styles as nick is being emo in their bedroom because nick is just the type of person who will dramatically listen to harry styles in their bedroom whilst being sad. it also completes the full circle of sad taylor swift to sad harry styles, but with no vehicular manslaughter.

we then get “400 lux” by lorde after james and nick have their big conversation because like it is just a them song. like you buy me orange juice. it’s also about the james/nick having a gansey/ronan dynamic in the way that nick is devotedly in love with him and james is just being homoerotic for the jokes. but not most other ways. honestly i haven’t thought about the skam brighton versions of these characters in trc….. many thoughts head full

episode nine

we open with “pink rabbits” by the national as nick redyes their hair back to pink. and i’ll be honest. i only chose this song because it has pink in the title. but it does still vibe with nick though.

we then get “be your own 3am” by adult mom as nick is dealing with some bad cravings. it’s just a very pretty song for listening to alone at night in your bed in that weird space between sleep and awake. i love it.

we then get “i am not a robot” by marina as nick walks down the street because nick is a marina bitch!!!!!!! and “you've been acting awful tough lately / smoking a lot of cigarettes lately / but inside, you're just a little baby / it's okay to say you've got a weak spot” is such a nick @ james line it makes me insane

also rich’s entire character and backstory is directly lifted from skins gen 3 because i am niche and make content just for me

we then end with “rager teenager!” by troye sivan because i have listened to that song exactly once, decided it had nick vibes, and just stuck it in an episode somewhere.

episode ten

we open with “strange torpedo” by lucy dacus because it is just. such a nick song. it is insane. i am insane. like it is about nick wanting someone but not being sure who or what it is because he just wants to be loved and discovers that sometimes being liked is better than being loved…….

we then get “used to you” by mxmtoon and like….. “tell me what i can say / and i can say it / tell me what i can do / and i can do my best / tell me who i should be / and i can change it” is such a nick early s5 lyric…… and how the song is kind of a love song but the line “now i’m just kind of used to you” is very nick about his feelings towards james

we then get “gay street fighter” by keiynan lonsdale as milo gets their sexy slow mo that all of the love interests get at some point. they deserve it.

and then “to be alone with you” by sufjan stevens plays as milo and nick have their first kiss in the pool because i always wanted to include that scene and thought “hey here is good”. and like. they are alone with each other a lot and they like spending time with each other….. they are friends, they are teens, they are falling in love a little <3

we then get “creep” by lena hall as nick has a little gender moment at school. lena hall played yitzhak in the broadway revival of hedwig and the angry inch and she just has so much gender. creep has always been a nick song and this cover just…. it’s them. 

we then get some ambient guitar music during the nick/rori scene and i chose some songs from “your city gave me asthma” by wilbur soot because it is a fucking great album and nick is canonically a mcyt stan so i simply had to. we end with “your new boyfriend”, which is a funnier, happier wilbur soot song and it is simply a fun time.

episode eleven

we open with “gender is boring” by she/her/hers which is just an absolute banger. like “gender never really meant that much to me / til' people started telling me how it was supposed to be” is such a great line and it is very nick braxton because. like. it’s just gender babey everything is about gender except for gender which is about having fun.

“dorothea” by taylor swift plays as james and nick have their final big scene together and like. it is such a homoerotic and fun song i love it so much thank you taylor friend of the show swift. “and if you're ever tired of being known / for who you know / you know, you'll always know me” is just……. god.

we then get “i do (end credits)” by kevin abstract as we open on the final scene of the season because a) it has end credits in the title and b) it is just another song i think nick would enjoy listening to.

we then get “they/them/theirs” by worriers as we get another little party montage because it’s a vibe time and like. i do love a they/them pronoun moment. it’s a very good and fun pronoun to use.

and finally we get “prelude” from next to normal as al comes in late to the party and awkwardly stands at the back. i chose this song because. well. you’ll see :)

thank you for reading my analysis that no one asked for, i just love having fun and talking about my silly little show :)

[404fmdhaon]

self para & aesthetic & playlist — v live blues

summary: gyujeong does a solo vlive for the first time in two years — not mandated by the company, just because he’s tipsy and lonely. it’s where he suggests a playlist for those feeling down. playlist summary: feeling down, and gyu suggests his go-to songs for the moments you need a pick me up. (explanation of each song weaved in the self-para). warnings: alcohol wc: 1368 (this accounts for the playlist summary too) 

it’s obvious when he stumbles through the hallways of his apartment — staggered steps, a palm pressed against the walls when he takes his shoes off, tosses it out. he’ll save the cleaning for another day. times like these, it’s the taste of alcohol that lingers on the tip of his tongue and he forages the pieces of things to do for the next day: another recording inside the walls of his studios, and another meeting. no new friends, just the same old people roaming around.

he flicks his gaze towards tokki, snuggled up against her corner of the room (warning: danger territory, he never encroaches towards that facet of her space). instead, he slips a lighter out of his pocket nested deep, lights the candles one by one in his room as he enters �� finishes it all off with an incense. 

the aroma of the room slowly dissipates into his comfort scents. forces him to relax his shoulders as he hangs up the jacket wrapped around his body, and by the time he throws his back onto the bed and stares at the ceiling — the realization hits. 

loneliness feels foreign. 

not the gaping hole throbbing inside a void, but the kind that slowly reaches its hands and warps him new. he’s never been the pitiful image of harrowing loneliness, jaded and skewed, no — that’s not his niche. yet, it’s this subtle difference where he’s strung thin from one place to the next and suddenly, he’s screaming out to an empty abyss and alcohol rings his thoughts louder.

gyujeong figures — this kind of night isn’t smoothened over by forcing his eyes shut, shuffling inside his bed for empty hours on end. he needs an escape, and the last form of escape doesn’t come to a call to a friend in the welcome of “what’s up” but instead, the last lapse of his judgement: v-live.

his feet slide back over to his desk, phone positioned against the screen of his monitor. ceiling lights on, he hums to himself the beginnings of the song recorded earlier (drunken state still clocks him, and spoilers would yank the tether around his neck closer in). 

instead, he turns in on, presses his beanie further against his head. four in the morning, and the numbers start trickling in when he stares blankly, full-transparency to a phone with a sea of empty faces.

haon, vlive?  our oppa is treating us! what’s wrong with his expression? is he drunk, he’s red ㅋㅋ handsome even when he looks tired happy fans from indonesia!

he doesn’t greet them, doesn’t say hi. the most he makes is when his cheeks puff out, and he squeezes his lips together shut, blowing out when his hands roll around the mouse. in comes the clicks onto a screen, when the first words he speaks air: “i like these songs — just sit and listen.”

roses by finn askew

the first few sounds of the beat come in before the voice entrances — he sings along. a song about roses, he thinks of yeseul — the eleven roses, one short of a dozen when he waited for her in the corner of a neighborhood (the first time he buys flower for a girl, another first she takes away from him). give you all my time, if you wanna take it slow. you’re my little pick-me-up, yeah. you fill my cup — he stops his cover short when the notion that his pick-me-up becomes a fragment of the past and he’s still jaded by the aftermath.

strawberries and cigarettes by troye sivan Remember when you taught me fate Said it'd all be worth the wait Like that night in the back of the cab When your fingers walked in my hand Next day, nothin' on my phone

he doesn’t sing along, only sulks back into his chair — his hands come across his chest, and he basks in each word flowing past his speakers. thinks of each instance of fate, and how it all slots itself together when he least expects it. one strike of fate after another, and now he’s ten years past his own first steps into the decision that changes him. no longer worth the wait, he shakes his head drowning in the whiplash of missteps sliding from one phase to the next.

it’s his sad boy blues, he knows. doesn’t care when warmth and red-tinges across his face beg to differ.

good news by mac miller When it ain't that bad It could always be worse I'm running out of gas, hardly anything left Hope I make it home from work Well, so tired of being so tired

it’s an ode to one of the greatest inside his head — mac miller. the gentle lull of mumbles and the easy-listening, he’s reminded once more of why healing comes in the form of music. gyujeong continues, follows the play of the song when he raps along in a sing-song motion of when it ain’t that bad, it could be worse. (inside his mind’s a replay of the past few years where bad judgement and whiplash of bc’s constant meetings play.) 

remembers the day of trainee life when the first release of mac miller soothed tired nights in the training room, beads of sweat ceased by the empty echoes of mac playing inside the dark room. “rest in peace, mac miller” he whispers by the time the song ends.

changes by lauv I'm getting rid of all my clothes I don't wear I think I'm gonna cut my hair 'Cause these days, I don't feel like me, mm I think I'm gonna take a break from alcohol

his eyes rove over each comment, a stream of consciousness that leaves each blank face behind a username calling out for a talk. he subdues their woes when he reaches out in the first question of the night — “should i cut my hair?” and in surfaces the cheeky smirk, pulled lopsided when the heartless laughter stems out of his chest heavy soul. 

there’s no happiness inside changes, just the same monotony that drags from one day to the next. he’s thought of it, thought of the times he’s wanted to burn his clothes, start anew. leave the life behind him — yet, it’s the effect already set in stone where he no longer feels like himself. lost his self in the process, and perhaps, it’s what spurred the loneliness in the first place.

blue by keshi Don't hit my cell There's an unknown number on my phone I don't need your help Just let me lay down on the floor

gyujeong paints himself blue. drowns himself in a sea of dark waves, tempest patterns — he sits, throws his head back when he picks up the phone and draws it closer to his face. up-close, personal. yet, there’s a lapse of personal touches when it feels like a narrowing chasm of cctv maximized as the eyes watching glue to each of his moments.

he doesn’t want their help, he just wanted an escape. lying on the floor, sitting on a chair — the act of nothing: he’s numbed out by now.

pink skies by lany

when his eyes flit over to the window, there’s a ribbon of pink in the horizon. the mood down low, he clicks to the next recommended song on the side bar — listens to it for the first time. it draws a picture of a road trip had he ever been served with unrestrained freedom leaving him out in the open (mental note: a road trip might be the answer during the next bolt of loneliness wedging itself deep).

gyujeong stays in his chair, tapping his fingers against the desk. this type of music becomes background noise when he reads out loud, the comments one by one — brows raising in a faux show of interest inside the monotones that wring out the ambivalence. 

“what is your favorite color.” “yellow.” “what are you doing”  “listening to music.” “where is knight?” “inside bc entertainment.” “what do you smell like” “roses.”

october eyes by alt bloom All the lack of symmetry fits you so perfectly lady Yes I fall with your clothes take em' off hold me close, baby Those October eyes Keep me up all night Darling, my sunrise is when you go

the last song he shares in the night, skims past the comments. a farewell to the loneliness still persisting, and he sings along — it all comes full circle when the first and last match up to the one figure lodging herself deeper inside his chest. his october eyes no where to pierce him with the same tempest stare and coy smile, yet he still stays up all night — the sun rises, and that’s when she leaves and fatigue takes over. 

he heaves a heavy breath, chest out. exhale then inhale — the breathiness takes over when his voice shakes, and the room starts spinning. (he still sings along anyway).

by the time it’s over, he doesn’t manage a heartless look. humanized, he offers solace in a dulled out curl of his lip, bares out a “thank you for today,” and in case somewhere fate slides yeseul back to him, he adds the postlude to her. 

“take a listen again, and you’ll know where i stand.” 

[dvjjikook]

Jikook not so bro things - list

Hi! guys this is my very first post and i wanted it to show how much i adore jimin, jungkook and their ( secret ) sweet relationship. This is basically me writing a list of not so bro things that they do when they are on camera or behind the cameras. So let’s begin, shall we?

1. Staring at your bro with all hearty eyes for no reason when he is busy talking in front of the cameras.

and when he catches you staring at him, hastily looking away.

This is just one of the many reasons that made me to believe in jikook. I have to remind that jungkook is the one who openly stares at jimin with or without reasons most of the time. Even if there will be an important interview going on, he will proceed to stare at jimin but as i observed for a long time, when jimin catches jungkook staring at him with all hearty eyes, he looks away soon as possible.

Experts say that if someone looks at you ,discovers that he or she made eye contact with you and hastily looks away sometimes with a little smile, that could mean that the person has a crush on you. As i figured out, jungkook looks away with a small smile on his face most of the time. I am not saying that he has a high school girl crush on jimin or something like that so don’t come at me. He is now an adult but the thing is that throughout these past years it was the same thing going on and on. One can say that it’s because he adores his hyung or he does that because he is always standing besides jimin and i think the person has a point because who will be able to not to look at this gorgeous,angel like person named Park jimin when he is standing next to you?.

but the way your crush or boyfriend/girlfriend stares at you is different from the way your friend stares at you right?. That’s all i got to ask?

2. Doing that tongue thing when someone dares to touch your bro or when he keeps on ignoring you.

There is no one in this whole fandom who doesn’t know about jungkook’s famous tongue thing. Basically it’s just him poking his tongue against his cheek but why does he do that?. That’s the question but don’t worry, there is an acceptable answer to this question.

He does that when jimin is around him, when jimin is busy talking with Taemin from shinee( i am just kidding ) or he is with some other guy. That’s when jungkook puts his tongue in his cheek. This is clearly an act of jealousy. He also does that when his hyung doesn’t pay attention to him.

The question is that why does he have to do that if they are ONLY brothers or just friends.? Brothers don’t act in this way because brothers don’t feel like they are meant to be together so when someone gets to flirt or talk with one of them, the other makes jokes about it and behaves like he doesn’t care but in this case jungkook cares way too much of jimin being with some other guy. That’s why he shows his jealousy even in public like that.

Being scared of your brother/ friend having a close relationship with someone else is not normal. So are they even brothers at this point.?

3. Admiring your brother’s butt even in public.

Hey! hey! stop ! stop!. I am not being delusional right now. It’s just i love the way jungkook admires jimin’s butt just like the others but a little bit more. Who can look away when that glorious jibooty is just few inches away from your reach?. If you can, then you are not in your right mind.

 Of course jimin is also unstoppable when he gets a chance to slap jungkook’s butt. We can say that they are obsessed with each other’s butts. I actually did not want to add this to the list but i could not help after seeing that one moment when jungkook practically licked his lips while staring at the jibooty. I love the not so bro way jungkook treats jibooty. I am helpless.

4. Acts like a little angel when you are in front of your bro.

This is related to jimin mostly, according to me. Did any of you guys realize it too?. According to my observations jimin acts so confident and mighty in front of the cameras. I mean that’s great but he acts like a different person in front of jungkook. I know that bts is just like jimin’s family and it’s not a surprise to see him being comfortable around all the members including jungkook but that’s not the case.

Jimin acts like a little angel who seeks for attention in front of jungkook. He wants so much attention from jungkook and i have seen the way he pouted when jungkook did not give him enough attention. In this first gif above, you can clearly see the way jimin cling onto jungkook’s arm while whispering into his ear even though it was a game. Jin’s reaction to this moment was unbelievable too. He was like “right in front of my salad”?.

We can’t forget the way jimin asked help from jungkook to reach those metal bars in gym even though he could easily reach them by simply jumping up.There are so many moments that shows how much jungkook’s attention means to jimin. Brothers don’t seek for each other’s attention like this or behave so lovely dovey towards each other.

5. Going on a trip to japan with your bro and creating a video of your vacation with gay music playing in the background.

This is the video which made people to believe in jikook more than ever. Jungkook organised a trip to Japan with jimin and he did not ever do that for another member.

The most important thing is that the song he used for this video is the famous gay song ‘There for you’ by troye sivan. He is not a fool to use a gay song out of all the songs he had been listening to until then. He himself admitted that he prefer songs that have wonderful meanings. He also said that he uses songs for his videos after reading lyrics.

So he just exposed jikook aka their relationship from using a gay song for his video. Is that a bro thing?.

If i do a thing similar to this with my bro, i will have to die in the second he finds out.

6. Attached at the hip with your bro 24/7.

This does not need an explanation. Everyone who watches bts videos plus behind the scenes can easily figure this out. They are always seen together no matter what. They are together even if they are sad. They are together when they are happy too. They always complete each other but the way they are attached at the hip is not a bro thing.

7. Biting your bro’s ear when he is crying.

This moment is my favorite since it shows how much jungkook likes jimin. Although some people say that jungkook did not bite jimin’s ear, i can still see a string of saliva connecting jimin’s ear lobe and jungkook’s mouth. Biting your bro’s ear in front of thousands of people are not a normal bro thing. Also the way jungkook shouted ‘i love you’s while hugging jimin is too cute.

Do you bite your bro’s ear like this?

8. Saying ‘you are me i’m you’ to your bro.

I have no words to describe this. They always say this whenever they agree to the same thing. It’s just too adorable to ignore. 

They know that they are so similar to each other since they have very similar preferences but still they show that to the whole world.

If i say this to my brother then he will shout ‘ewwwwww’ immediately.

9.  Where is personal space bro?.

Jikook don’t know what’s personal space means. Whenever they are sitting together, the are all over each other. I will not be surprised if one day big hit decides to provide only 6 chairs for them.

10. Teasing your bro like there is no tomorrow.

This is so related to jungkook. He is the one who teases jimin whenever he gets a chance. I think that he expresses his feeling by teasing the person he likes, most of the time. Teasing each other is mostly done by lovers or couples but in this case they are just bros aren’t they?.

So i wrote this according to a wish of my brother who is a fan of bts. He is not obsessed with them like me but he told me that jikook have something to do with each other. i got motivated from his words. So i thought that i will do this. Here i am. 

Also i like to remind that this is a little reply to all the people who think JIKOOK are just brothers. I mean you can think whatever you want but if you think that they are just bros, then there are so many questions for you to answer.

Being gay is not a crime. Gender does not matter when it comes to LOVE.

[80s90smovies]

Songs for Writing Inspo pt 2

hi again lovelies!

you all seemed to love this last time (except for that one lady who responded in a very demeaning tone that kinda hurt my feelings) so I figured I throw this out here again! hope this helps!

<3

One Day At A Time - Quinn XCII > saying goodbye to youth. one last night before going your separate ways. this song hits me in all kinds of feels I didn’t know I had. Going into college next year, this song hit differently -- knowing that I have to say goodbye to my home, to my friends, that we’re growing up and growing apart and its inevitable. please do something with this masterpiece.

Remember You Young - Thomas Rhett > a song about growing old but never forgetting the good years, the golden days. very soft, good for endgame couples.

Otherwise - Jake Scott > self-doubt, faking a smile. good for angst and internal struggles.

Before You Go - Lewis Capaldi > angst!! heartbreak! regretting the things you didn’t do, dwelling on what if’s and mistakes. pain.

Moon and Back - Alice Kristiansen > staying in love, through all the good and the bad. even when everything is coming undone and you lose your own way. very soft and beautiful song.

Save Me - Noah Kahan > more angst. martyr type beat. just listen to it, it’s hard to explain. 

Neon Moon - Brooks & Dunn ft. Kacey Musgraves > moving on, dancing your way through a broken heart, healing. stuff like that. love it.

Kiss Somebody - Morgan Evans > throwing caution to the wind, kissing someone on a whim, not letting logic and pain stop you from healing. just taking a break and doing something stupid for a change. because what’s life without a little regret?

Yours - Jesse McCartney > good for strong relationships. very devoted. stan Jesse McCartney. 

Born To Love You - LANco > small town romanced mixed with a little bit of pining mixed with what could definitely be used for a soulmate au.

Kings & Queens - Ava Max > badass girl anthem, reminds me of someone overthrowing a court or stopping an evil tyrant. 

Slide Away - Miley Cyrus > saying goodbye, going your separate ways, accepting that not everything is permanent. 

Dani California - Red Hot Chili Peppers > badass, outlaw vibes. I don’t even really know tbh. kinda Bonnie and Clyde vibes? give it a shot!

Like To Be You - Shawn Mendes, Julia Michaels  > miscommunication, but still wanting to make things work. hopefulness and a genuine, raw love. 

Hurt Again - Julia Michaels > another song about throwing caution to the wind and going into a relationship with a steady hurt and little hope. good for short flings. 

Hot - Marisa Maino > low-key a bisexual anthem tbh. angry pining.

Alamo - Alec Benjamin > having something to fight for, willing to put your life on the line rather than sit in the shadows and wait. 

Saturday Sun - Vance Joy > summer fling turned into long term hope. very cute. 

Fire Meet Gasoline - Sia > this one can go lots of ways. opposites attract? fuel to the flame? enemies to lovers? endless possibilities.

Someone To You - BANNERS > there’s just something so warming and lovely about this song. I don’t know. I love it. 

YOUTH - Troye Sivan > the song playing in the background while your character goes cliff diving and drives through town at sunset while slowly falling in love with themself.