#*NOT saying I'll ignore the problem and pretend it doesn't exist oh no no no. I'll bite my tongue and avoid people that don't suit my taste

[leechandoki]

I feel constraints on what I can draw and what I cannot draw all because of purity culture. It really sucks that I preach about just going for it/draw what you want. And then become a coward in drawing it.

I only dipped my toes in a more suggestive drawing in the past but even that has some restraints in it. I want to draw more freely without the pressure of purity culture. So that is what I'll do in 2024. I want to explore more with my art and improve instead of being stuck.

Don't get me wrong, I love my art and I love where it is going but, I believe it can go further. I believe I can push myself to do better.

[normalaboutfugo]

"I can't find an ask box so I'mma just drop this here! I would love something with mafia boss GIORNO finding out his mom had another kid and pretty much goes feral to adopt them !! tyy"

𝐈𝐍𝐕𝐈𝐃𝐈𝐀 — 𝐄𝐍𝐕𝐘 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐌.

⋆₊☆ ⊂⊃ platonic yandere don!giorno || m.list

[ warning :: PLATONIC/NOT ROMANTIC, kinda kidnapping, platonic yandere ]

[ notes :: first post!! thank you @foundfamyanderes for requesting!! <3 i can't remember what happened to gio's mom but just pretend she left giorno and had reader and left them too lol ]

[ important :: see this post on another blog? likely a repost to my rebranded multi-fandom blog! don't be afraid to check, but if they're not linked w me, let me know! <33 ]

— when giogio first learns his mother went on to have another kid, he wanted to have a genuine connection, and he did everything in his power to find them. what if you weren't doing so well on your own, assuming that your mother didn't care about you, like she didn't with him? there's no way he'd let his own blood live like this, especially when he was doing so well.

— giorno did everything he could to look for you, searched the internet under the last name shiobana to find a lead, he looked for his mom's profile online, and when he found it, he saw various pictures of drinks, club floors, everything you'd expect from someone like her.

— it took a long time, quite a bit of searching through what seemed like a million pictures of your mom partying — giorno scrolled for hours and hours, ignoring the way his eyes burnt when he looked at the screen for too long.

— finally, after he thought he was starting to fall asleep from staring at the bright computer screen for forever, he found multiple pictures of selfies from his mom with the head of a child in the background; cropped out the best if could be, but still quite obvious you existed.

— it took a long time to find you, but honestly, it confused giorno. why was he so hooked on meeting you? he only found out you existed a few days ago, and you didn't even know you had a half brother.

— when giorno finally found you, he had immediately introduced himself to you — not as the don, but as your brother. he wanted to have a genuine connection with you, because he never had a sibling, and while everyone in bucciarati's gang were like family, but blood ran thicker than water.

— and upon finding out you were broke and living on pickpocketing because your mother left you? giorno spoiled the fuck out of you. when he met you, he treated you to a meal at one of the nicest places in italy because he wanted to make a good impression, but when he finds out you're not used to such good dining and being treated well?

— most definitely takes you shopping for whatever you want, turning you down when you say you'll pay him back for it.

"Here, whatever you want."

"That's...! Giorno, no, I'll pay you back as soon as I ca-"

"With money you took? Don't worry about it, there's more than enough for you to have what you wanted."

— reader goes quiet real quick

— not long after meeting him, giorno offers you a place to live. the streets got cold at night, and he would know. gratefully, you accepted it; what else could you do?

— it doesn't take long for giorno to get overbearing. he'll start putting extra locks on the doors, and when questioned, express that he just wants you to feel safer in your new home.

"..Giorno, what's with the locks on the door?"

"The locks? Oh, I wanted to make sure you felt safe, is all. Is there a problem?"

"Well.. no, I just.. don't you think it's a bit much?"

"Mm.. no, I don't think so. You can never be too sure."

— he might even give you a curfew at first

— he'll give you the reasoning that the streets of italy aren't safe at later times, which is semi-true. it really wasn't safe to be roaming around at night, especially after you start living with the boss himself; word spreads like wildfire in passione, and a bounty would be placed on your head by traitors before you know it.

— eventually, a curfew turns into him spending every second with you during your outings, and that turns into you just not being allowed to leave the house at all.

— even if he needs to pull a few strings to find a reason to keep you home, he'll do what he needs.

"The strap on your bag, it's broken."

"Oh, yes.. I noticed a bit ago, but it's no big deal."

"That's fine, we can get you a new one today. There's got to be something identical somewhere."

"Should I get ready to go out, then?"

"No, you don't need to. We can find something online, or I can go find it at the store we bought it from."

"..Oh. Why?"

"I don't want you going out."

— when you bring up your concerns to him about not being allowed to leave, he takes it really well, as if he'd just up and abandoned his previous reasons for you being kept inside. and after that, you go to bed that night with relief, sleeping easily knowing that it's going to change.

— except for in the morning, when you're leaving the room, you turn the doorknob only to realize you were locked in from the outside. on the nearest table is a notepad, next to a plate of food and a cup of water. written in red ink,

"[READER],

It's wrong to lock you up, but I can't bring myself to put you in danger and allow you to leave. But I can also promise it's only temporary, I want you to be happy here. I had some business with the famiglia, so I left home quite early this morning. I will return, but while I'm not there, I left food and a glass of water next to this note. I'll be seeing you soon.

— Giorno

[de-vespertiliones]

Can I ask why you don't like RHaTO 2016? I started it solely because the scene of Jason and Bizarro talking on the floor on the first issues did things to my heart the one time I saw a panel of it, but I didn't get much farther. And I like how you talk bout issues

Oh, thank you for the compliment! Apologies for this taking so long. I had to reflect a bit. (For what it's worth, the scene you're referring to is one of my favorite scenes in RHatO and some of the best writing in the entire run).

Some caveats:

I like reading serialized comics, but I'm unpracticed in the art of reading serialized comics, so my structural analyses come largely from analyzing other forms of writing (mostly novels, some TV & film). This means that I might be expressing critiques that are not entirely fair given the nature of the medium.

I read the entire run in a couple sittings last September, so these are generally remembered vibes and not nuanced analysis. I'm open to correction if I've misremembered something.

I actually don't dislike all of RHatO 2016, even though I do strongly dislike some of the canon introduced (this canon is discussed in points 5-6, and thus contains spoilers)

Also, for brevity's sake (ha!), "RHatO" refers to the 2016 version; if I mean RHatO 2011 I'll indicate that.

Anyway, my problems with the run (cut for length):

RHatO doesn't know who Jason is. This is not a "RHatO!Jason isn't who I think Jason should be" critique (though I certainly feel some element of that as well) but rather a "Lobdell cannot decide the basics of who his version of Jason Todd is as a character." In a different run that went through the hands of multiple writers, I'd find this far more forgivable, but barring the tail end of the run, Lobdell is the sole author. Jason is by turns incredibly clever and incredibly stupid in ways that felt contradictory. I had very little sense of what he valued or cared about. Sometimes he expresses great empathy and sometimes he's bafflingly self-absorbed and the only thing that seems to determine these behaviors is what's most convenient for the plot. Don't get me wrong: there are Jason moments in RHatO that I absolutely love, but they're balanced by Jason moments that utterly confound me because I don't understand how this is the same person.

It's not an ensemble book but it's pretending to be an ensemble book. This is a fundamental issue with every iteration of RHatO (including the webtoon) because no iteration of RHatO is written as an ensemble book--Jason is always the main character. RHatO also sort of sets itself up for failure in that regard--Artemis and Bizarro are far less well-known characters with less history than Jason and would require more investment and buildup on Lobdell's part to make them more than just props, but Lobdell doesn't put in the work. Even arcs that ostensibly center Artemis or Bizarro end up feeling flat, especially because so often they operate in service to Jason, The Main Character. (Incidentally, the point when I found Artemis & Bizarro most compelling was when they were separated from Jason and allowed room to breathe and exist).

The emotional core of the story, insomuch as there is one, is between Bruce and Jason and it really, really shouldn't be. Don't get me wrong, I would read a million issues of Jason and Bruce being completely, wretchedly awful to each other, but because the emotional core lies between Bruce and Jason, and also because RHatO is trying to be an ensemble book, and also because Lobdell is very uninterested in crafting a story around an alternate emotional core, whenever the story isn't about Bruce and Jason (which is most of the time) it flounders. I'd say that's fine if Lobdell just wanted to write a fun, dumb adventure book, but the Bruce and Jason bits are too present to ignore, making the whole thing feel very off-kilter.

From a team perspective, I don't understand what Jason adds. The whole run is sold as a "dark trinity," but the role Batman plays in the Wonder Woman-Superman-Batman trinity and the role Jason plays in the Artemis-Bizarro-Red Hood trinity isn't really the same? I feel like I'm supposed think Jason deserves his place on the team because he's The Main Character, but even from a very mechanical powers and abilities perspective I don't get what he's doing there. He's not particularly clever or strategic. He doesn't have the resources Batman does. He's not the brains, especially because later arcs give that role to someone else. If I had to assign him a role I'd say he's the "heart," whatever that means, but I also fundamentally don't buy Artemis and Jason as a team or companions and would argue that Bizarro serves as the "heart" (as well as the brawn) most of the time.

(This section contains spoilers) RHatO introduces the stupidest plot threads and then proceeds to do nothing with them. Willis Todd is alive, for reasons. He's Wingman, who's just randomly part of Batwoman's Bat-Team, for reasons. He's Faye Gunn's son, making Jason Faye Gunn's grandson, for reasons. None of this has any real bearing on the plot but it does create a lot of problems for Jason's canon backstory, whatever it is at this point in time.

(This section contains spoilers) Which also, the fact that it opens with conflict with Black Mask, one of the few rogues Jason has had extensive conflict with as Red Hood, creates a nightmare of what's in continuity and what isn't. My understanding is that UtRH is in continuity, which makes literally everything about the opening act not only nonsensical, but actively confusing.

This is less a critique of the series itself, but worth noting: I generally disagree with how people rec the first half of the run (i.e. the run with Bizarro and Artemis) and not the last half of the run (the Red Hood: Outlaw part). I read the series in trade format so I don't have the issues on hand, but I think RH:O vol. 2 is way more enjoyable (at least when it comes to Jason content) than the middle sections of RHatO.

So I guess I have problems with consistency, character work, storytelling choices, and ensemble writing. I don't with it's a worthless run per se; it's certainly better than other Jason-centric stories, and I love Dexter Soy's art about as much as I dislike Kenneth Rocafort's, so that's definitely a bonus for (early) RHatO 2016. I also don't think Lobdell is a completely incompetent writer, necessarily; he's just lazy, and incurious, and generally kind of a hack, which in some ways makes it worse.

I also don't think anyone is wrong to like either version of RHatO. I am a very brittle reader with specific wants & desires from comics that are usually only ever met by accident. So, obviously, take all this with an amount of salt anywhere between a shaker and a mine.

[bakurasilver]

Mathieu spitting incident roleplay???

So after the spitting incident I knew I needed to do something with this, it just did not feel like I could ethically ignore it. Provoked or not, and he very clearly was, spitting at people is just not a great thing to be doing (now all I can think of was that this was an unenriched and stressed Mathieu demonstrating a natural threat response 😭). It was probably a spur of the moment dumb decision, but I just didn't feel as though I could pretend it hadn't happened. Definitely not saying anyone else could or should have to write about it, but for me at least I needed to write him accepting the fact that it was Not A Great Decision (tbh I imagine I spent far more time angsting over this than real Mathieu, who usally seems to sail through controversy) before I could go back to writing him being emotionally mature enough to look after Wout.

Anyway so I'd just written that fic where he wants to play on the swings because he never got the chance to as a kid, so I was still thinking about the idea that Wout had worked very hard through the years with his therapist to ensure he stayed mentally well-balanced, and Mathieu just... hadn't.

So it starts off with them agreeing that they'll roleplay this out with Wout pretending to be some sort of therapist that young child Mathieu's been sent to talk to (Wout is reluctant, because he's not an expert, but he knows Mathieu won't talk to anyone who's actually qualified. Mathieu is blithely confident, sure that they'll faff around for half an hour and then Problem Dealt With, he can move on.)

But as soon as they begin, things begin to go off the rails. As soon as Wout comes back into the room, it's obvious that despite his I Don't Care I Was Right front, underneath it Mathieu's terrified that if he isn't perfect then he's flawed and only worth discarding, and that only when he's successful does he have any value. The two of them start building a house out of Lego, but Wout doesn't know how to help Mathieu deal with what is at its root the product of being praised and feted when he won a race, and being told to use disappointments to push himself harder... and neither did I.

Now I absolutely need to say I really don't think real Mathieu is angsting every time he loses. I just don't think he does! I think he's annoyed about it for a day or so maybe, but like he said in that recent Matt Stephens interview, he sleeps pretty well. I'm sure he doesn't lie awake thinking about all the might-have-beens if he'd lived a less gilded life, and even if he does, it's none of my business what goes on between real Mathieu's ears.

But, at least in the land of fanfiction, he's got such a tantalisingly narrative shape that you can shine a light on him from so many angles and get an intriguingly-shaped shadow. You can project almost any reading onto Mathieu and think, oh huh yeah I can kind of see that making sense. He's so plausible in so many scenarios because there really aren't any inner depths visible. Whether or not they exist in real life, it's so tempting to give in to the urge to give him some thematically-appropriate ones.

Anyway, there it sits, waiting for Wout and me to work out how to convince Mathieu that making a mistake does not mean he's an irredeemably bad person. Which I would very much like to do, because as it ends currently Wout is having a one-sided discussion inside his head about how Hitler isn't a helpful example, and Mathieu is curled up in a ball with his face buried in his knees having a cry. I can only hope that at some point I'll work out what comes after this:

“That was a good choice you made just now, telling me how you’re feeling,” said Wout, gently rubbing Mathieu’s back. “I know it isn’t easy, but I’m really proud of you for coming to see me today. Sometimes we all make bad choices, that’s part of being human, but

(Mathieu feels he's disappointed Wout, it ends in a note to myself at the bottom, as though I didn't know that!)

[janeromeroshow]

🚩🚩

send me a 🚩 and i'll share my unpopular rpc opinions and hot takes.

🚩

people who straight up refuse to interact with ocs because " it's too much work to get invested " just... confuse me, to be honest. it feels like by not interacting with them, you're just missing out on a vast section of the rpc, one which is filled with such creative and sweet people! and i know that i can fall victim to this just as much as any canon character blog, so i just wanted to say - the lovely oc blogs who follow me, i appreciate you and please do not mistake my quietness for disinterest! most likely i'm just floundering bc i need to look more into your character, not because i don't want to write with them! but yeah, this might be an obvious one but ocs need to be appreciated more by the wider rpc in my opinion. so anyway, go support your local oc blogs - read their lore and get invested, think about how your muse would interact with them! this is a hobby revolving around playing make believe, don't be scared of having some original ideas!

🚩

for the second one, i'll get on my soapbox and get it over with. we need to ( and i do, too much i'm aware! ) talk about the misogyny in the rpc. female characters, and to an extent female muns, although that's a whole different conversation, are often treated like utter shit in comparison to their male counterparts. and i promise this isn't just a " oh i'm salty i don't get interactions " conversation - when i was still active on my multi, i had around 8 female muses and 2 male. and of course, people only wanted to write with my 2 male muses which, don't get me wrong i appreciated the interest! but it fucking sucks to be so passionate about characters and have people blatantly disregard them bc they're not the conventionally attractive man they want to write with. ( and this is coming from someone who likes to write with popular male muses, so don't mistake this for me shitting on them! this is entirely to point out the double standard in the rpc. ) adding to this the way that people who write female muses are often called pushy, ship-hungry, annoying or "pick-mes" solely for daring to exist and be social in this SOCIAL hobby, just goes to show that in literally every hobby women will be scrutinized significantly worse than men. even if they're fictional characters being written by people of any gender. personally i have pretty extreme anxiety around approaching people for ships directly because i don't want to be seen this way, and it's fucking unfair! additionally, the way the rpc as a whole will ignore and disregard this problem is like, really fucking annoying actually? because people will have so much to say about other issues in the community ( which again don't get me wrong, are completely valid issues that deserve to be heard and spoken about! ) only to be completely radio silent or even actively dismissive over this. it's extremely frustrating and to me it proves that this is something that will never change unless people keep bring it up, because the community as a whole is way too comfortable brushing it off and pretending it doesn't exist. my most controversial take - if this makes you uncomfortable to hear, please think about why.

[watery-pancake]

i dont know how to describe it to anyone

i dont even know if theres words for it, but my endless mind refuses to sit in silence, so i write, as i always do

i hate it when i talk to him and he ignores me. he's self aware of it too, but yet still. he blames me for misreading tones, but hearing "not bad" is different from saying "good". its like saying "oh youre not ugly" instead of calling them beautiful, or saying "oh youre not fat" instead of saying you enjoy their figure. its instantly categroizing it as bad, then saying its not. like the standard is bad, but oh its not. but its not great, its not wonderful. its mediocre at best, since it isnt good.

ive been talking less, not bringing up things that he does that bother me. i told him why. its like he thinks that me saying that means "oh she just doesnt want to talk to me" instead of thinking of ways to solve it. its blaming me when i point out his problem. him being clingy has suddenly abruptly stopped because i made the mistake of explaining why, and like an idiot, i think that he'll keep being as loving as always regardless.

all he hears is an insult from me. a way of putting him down. he doesnt think his action effects me. he just sees the effect and blames the one who is experiencing it. its like yelling at the house for burning instead of finding the one who started the fire. so now i have to deal with him randomly talking to me then ghosting me for hours, instead of the sweet boy i miss. i feel like throwing up i miss him so much. but i dont want to talk to him, because then i'll just be ignored again. you can't be ignored if you say nothing, there's nothing to ignore.

how can you be mad at someone, be extremely hurt by their actions to the point your whole demeanor changes, but still crave their attention and love. how can i go from calling him every night, texting him first every moment he texts me when he feels like it, to this. being with him, all ive become is just. quiet. and ive never been quiet in a relationship. i regret what i told him. i regret spilling that secret of mine and saying i feel safe with him. because as true as it is, now i have this overwhelming feeling.

its like im underwater and i cant breathe. its like bu telling him this secret of mine, i can never escape, and i just want to run. i want to erase that memory. forever. i feel so disgusted in myself and in him too that he knows this about me. he knows this truth ive never told anyone before, nor have even recollected to myself in journals or voice notes or anything. and the first time i do, is to him. and now i just want to shut up and stay silent forever and never speak to him again, or anyone. ive ripped open the wound and all i can feel is the painful sting of air and the gut feeling of just. disgust.

i shower but i am never clean enough. i change my bedsheets like the sins will be washed away. i talk less and pretend to smile more but it just hurts. it hurts so much. i hate existing in this reality, this one i was born in.

ive been depressed lately. having these... awful thoughts. no amount of love or comfort can ever make them go away. i want to drink, so so bad, but i promised. i would stop. all i want is to lay in the stars and forget it all ever happened. that i let myself be exposed. and all he could say? a joke about breaking up with me. he's terrible in moments like these, a tragic irony to someone who's studying to be a psychologist. the one he deems closest to him is one he cant comfort. and thats me. its me who can never feel enough comfort. i can be sobbing and have my head rubbed and whispered itll be ok but i cant stop thinking. what if i tried again. what if i drank until i threw up and kept drinking. what if that bridge was just enough to climb over. what if i just starved and didn't eat. its constant and throbbing and no matter how hard i try. it only goes away with him. and i hate that. the greatest comfort to me is someone who doesn't care about the birds i see. because its unimportant to him, it's not worthy of acknowledgement. but its important to me. and he knows this. but he still stays silent, knowing it hurts me. because i am the one being hurt, not that he is the one causing me to be hurt. cause and effect, with only seeing the effect.

i could never do it. completely give up. i'm too much of a pussy to ever go through with it. thats a lie, haha. that drinking binge really was my attempt. but all he could ever say was "well that wouldnt work" thanks. somehow you made me feel more pathetic than i already feel. you see my suicidal actions and all you can do is point out my flaws. its like offering me support, seeing how in my altered state of mind i was trying to end it all and offering your love and sympathy, is too outside your reach. you see it and all you can do is point and laugh. while i cry alone in my room, regretting telling you instead of trying again. seeing how making me quit drinking was that, the catalyst. and your pride in me quitting vanished, and all that was left was disgust in the imagination in your head of me laying in my own vomit as i begged god to make it all go away. you didn't offer an ounce of sympathy. just disgust.

and you never bring things up. its always me. thats why we stopped arguing. because i gave up. i gave up on explaining your hurtful actions to me. last time i did, you made a long paragraph how it was my fault you cheated on me. remember that? i do. all you could do was give me a shitty fucking apology you made up on the spot. but for you? when i did something hurtful that was a result of your poor communication? when you know my emotional apology can only be seen in monotone? i have to be sobbing for you to take that apology. then you can grant me acceptance for the apology. but for you, i get a shitty applogy that you made up on the spot.

after all this, i still lay in bed. wishing i was next to you. i cant wait to go to sleep.

don't worry, i wont die. ill keep living. i have my summer internship after all.

[syn0vial]

miscellaneous expanded universe boba fett characterization details, JUNIOR NOVELS EDITION

hello, hello! i'm here to share more random boba fett details, this time turning towards his younger self—specifically, his younger self as characterized by the boba fett junior novels that i may have had a slight obsession with as a kid. full disclaimer that the events of these novels have been alomst completely retconned by bitty!boba's appearances in TCW, but, well... i still like them, so there :<

and now, without further ado:

bitty!boba is kind of a bundle of contradictions. especially pre-geonosis, he's a genuinely nice kid who likes animals, reading books, and playing pretend. he also thinks murder is a perfectly good way of solving problems. he knows all about major underworld figures and various ways of tracking/harming others. he's also alarmingly sheltered and naive. he spends multiple days agonizing over feeding feeder mice to his pet eel and even attempts to release some of them against his father's orders. he tries to literally murder obi-wan like a week later. the kid contains multitudes, is what i'm saying.

boba: "a sea-mouse is an innocent creature that never knowingly did anything to anybody" [obi-wan enters line of sight] "you, however, i would maim."

boba's life on kamino is honestly kind of depressing. he lives in extreme isolation and only has regular contact with like... four people, one of whom is a droid. he talks to himself constantly because he has no one else to talk to, especially when the adults in his life aren't around. for the first ten years of his life, he never even interacts with someone his own age. needless to say, it's a very lonely existence.

because he's stuck on kamino, boba learns a lot of what he knows about the rest of the galaxy by reading books. for this reason, he has an approximate knowledge of many things! so he's not completely ignorant on the galaxy outside his bubble, even if his knowledge is usually second-hand and incomplete.

for example, he knows JUST enough about the beings known as "mothers" to figure out that the changeling bounty hunter zam wesell isn't his mom—not bc they aren't even the same species, but bc none of the books he's read have ever mentioned moms shapeshifting, QED, zam =/= mom. flawless logic.

in addition, bitty!boba also doesn't know what a gender role is for the first 10 years of his life. when he finds out, he is extremely disappointed with the galaxy. no, i'm serious. he gets stuck on an orphanage ship after his father is killed and is befriended by a non-binary alien kid. the kid complains about binary gender roles and boba is just perplexed and appalled by the whole thing.

the kid LOVES starfighters. he likes reading about them, talking about them, and occasionally even seeing a few at tipoca city's spaceport. in fact, when jango wants to make boba feel better about [gestures vaguely at the state of his life], he takes boba to the spaceport and just lets him info-dump about whatever he sees there. (though, of course, no starfighter could ever beat slave I <3)

something else bitty!boba loves: STARS. he doesn't actually get to see them most of the time bc the sky is always overcast on kamino, but when he does see them, especially as he gets a little older, he's completely awed by them. later on, when he's stuck on that republic orphanage ship, he spends long stretches of time sitting in the rear observation blister, just staring out at the near-stationary starscape.

post-geonosis, boba has to change a lot. the most immediate lesson he has to learn is not to trust others and, of course, he learns it the hard way. after his father dies, this kid is just running up to strangers like "HI MY DAD IS DEAD AND I HAVE NO ONE TO CONTACT AND NO WAY TO GET HOME, PLS HELP." and these assholes are always like, "oh, what a coincidence :) i knew your dad, actually :) just follow me and i'll take care of everything :)" AND THIS FUCKING KID JUST BELIEVES THEM.

jango fett really taught this kid how to disassemble and reassemble a blaster but not about stranger danger, smh

anyway... several attempted kidnappings/robberies later... boba starts to realize that maybe going along with every adult who is vaguely nice to him is NOT a good game plan.

these types of lessons repeat and escalate until boba's general approach to interacting with adults seems to be to assume malicious intent until proven otherwise. which, tbh, usually serves him well. in fact, by the time he's established at jabba's palace (which is when he's like... somewhere between 12-14 maybe?), his strategy has evolved into "pre-emptively come across as a murderous, unhinged little shit to prevent future fuckery." which means this adolescent child is walking around jabba's palace threatening to get people killed and openly displaying a pair of severed hands in his rucksack.

don'tcha love character development

all that said, boba reverts to being a friendly, playful kid when in the company of people he trusts. in jabba's palace, this means the cooks of kitchen 7: a father and daughter who boba inadvertently reunited after killing the guy who kidnapped and enslaved the latter. though lowly palace servants, these two are basically boba's lifeline in jabba's palace, providing him with food, gear, and palace gossip, not to mention much-needed companionship.

bitty!boba is an excellent melee fighter. he spends the majority of the books unarmed facing off against adult opponents with weapons. bc he's not yet at the stage where he can overpower them with physical strength/weaponry, he instead defeats them by being a small, fast-moving target who WILL use whatever random objects are in his immediate vicinity to disarm/blind/distract/take down whoever's trying to kill him.

a sampling of items bitty!boba uses as weapons, off the top of my head: a small table. a light fixture. a squid kebab. a rock. one day he'll be so heavily armed that even his knees can launch projectiles, but until then, he makes do.

he also bites at least one person. ya do what you gotta do.

on a related note: the kid is impulsive af. that time he bit someone? he had a knife to his throat at the time but he still went CHOMP. aurra sing steals slave I? HE JUMPS OFF A BUILDING TO GET IT BACK. count dooku tries to confine him to quarters? HE ATTEMPTS TO BLACKMAIL THAT BITCH. jabba just tried to trick him into indentured servitude? BOBA YELLS AT HIM IN FRONT OF HIS ENTIRE COURT. honestly this impulsivity gets boba INTO trouble just as often as it gets him out of it.

overall, despite being raised by a very morally ambiguous individual on a backdrop of organized crime, bitty!boba's defining feature is that he still genuinely tries to a good person, even if his moral perspective is a little skewed. at times, he really seems to think that a good bounty hunter should be something like a superhero—that, ideally, it means not only taking out unquestionably bad people but also helping those that they would harm. in fact, from the first book, he envisions himself not just as a hunter but a protector and rescuer as well. of course, he kind of loses the plot as he gets older, but even then, there's that seed of idealism within him, however twisted it becomes with time.

[voidcat]

📎 no attachment

ch.1 ; next ; m.list

notes: eimiko as scara's, beiguang as your and kazuha's mothers, modern au — 1.7k

a/n: since this is something im writing on a lighter + more comedic side (at least trying...) chapter and time transitions won't be as smooth as my other fics. timeline wise, this fic can be considered slow burn but wriitng/chapter order wise, it won't be as slow. aand considering this is a modern au, scaramouche's existence isn't/cannot be like in-game, he may come off as a little ooc, i'll still give him issues and attitude lol but there's not much existential crisis revolving around being human/emotions.

the lunch doesn’t go as a disaster as ningguang had feared. with you and ei’s kid sitting at different tables, the women carry on with their conversation and have a fruitful meeting by the end of it.

though it seems life has other plans for you.

sitting down just as the professor walks in, you let your eyes roam as you take needed materials out of your bag. only for your arm to coke to a halt when you catch glimpse of an indigo hair cut in an awfully familiar style. averting your gaze to your bag’s contents, for pray god, he looks up as you’re still looking at him, you try to carry on with your day.

‘try’ is all you can manage, really, with the absurd amount of classes you soon realize you share with him. By the end of the day you can feel someone’s eyes on your back but you decide to pretend you didn’t notice a thing.

entering home with feet dragging on the floor and a loud groan leaving your lips, kazuha looks up from his sheets, ready to listen to your ranting.

“whatever it is, it cannot be worth committing self inflicted unalivement.”

“I share most of my classes with him, kazu.” you deadpan, saying the pronoun with another groan.

kazuha pauses for a moment, registering who you mean and his head falls, “oh, okay, I see your point.” his head suddenly snaps up, giving you an expectant look “but please don’t do it, I love my sibling too much to live a life without them.”

the week carries on with the both of you ignoring the other. better to forget and be forgotten, you muse.

life seems to enjoy proving you wrong however.

at the end of a class you find yourself startled by a rather harsh nudge on your shoulder, turning back to face whoever is responsible, only to be met with that exact scowl. does he even use his facial muscles save for speaking?

as if he gets to ask you about a class project after ignoring you for days, the audacity.

when you try to inquire why he asked you of all people, he just claims “i expect the processor of a capable woman such as ningguang has raised her children to be as capable.”

When he turns and walks away, you only mutter a “weird”, not noticing the slight halt in his steps.

despite the tension that lies heavy between the two of you, it is almost a relief, to have a familiar face around during classes or on lunch breaks, be it a stroll on campus or just relaxing under a tree, it provides a fake sense of familiarity to open one eye and spot the other passing by (or immediately avoiding gazes for fear of being caught staring).

as pleasant as this might be, he still provides to be a problem when it comes to conversing. putting down even just your attempts at small talk, or a greeting in the mornings (yet always giving you a glare when you bid others 'good morning' and not him). he makes it a quick habit of rolling eyes or huffing when you approach the seat near him at classes, yet always taking his backpack from the seat so you can have it.

one by one, despite his intentional difficulties, the two of you begin to spend some lunch breaks together, albeit still in that same self made silence.

if he were to question why you approached the table occupid by him first, you'd most likely shrug, tilting your head to show the crowded food hall 'you're really asking?'.

but he doesn't, which is good, you affirm to yourself, this makes everything less awkward, however that is possible.

you notice a little too late that you do not know his name.

for any other setting, such a fact would bother you, yet with ei's son, this doesn't feel odd. it's not like any interaction the two of you have had so far required any names, or even recognition of the other, if you're being honest.

and you prefer to keep it that way, you realize; as he must too, from his general behavior.

the professor walks into the class with a ta tailing after her. uh-oh, alarm bells ring in your head. from head to toe you can tell what kind of ta this one is going to be exactly.

desperate, is a word to describe it.

insisting on taking attendance, and choosing the redundant way for it, names start being read out one by one.

and that is when you realize.

it doesn't bother you.

it shouldn't.

and it does not, but also it eats away at you from the inside. and for the next two hours, you feel yourself antsy in your seat, checking the clock so often or doodling on the desk only to erase it later, you count down the minutes– "alright, that is all for today."

you find yourself in front of his seat immediately.

in the midst of packing hi belongings, he doesn't acknowledge your existence, though the shadow suddenly falling over him is enough to draw out an irritated sigh.

"what do y-" "what was it that they called you?" the sentence leaves your mouth in a single breath, he pauses for a second, just looking at your face.

brows furrowed, he looks like a mix of puzzled and put off. "huh?"

"your name," you say as a matter-of-factly "i didn't catch it well." that, is a lie.

you remember the 'kunikuzushi' clearly, just as you remember ei's soft and rushed 'kuni!' from that day.

upon hearing your words, his expression shifts to something of annoyance. "just call me scaramouche, if you desperately require a name for this face."

his attitude and the name he says has your face scrunched up. just what is up with this guy?

crossing his arms and raising a brow with an expression that says "you got an issue with it?" he begins tapping his foot in growing impatience.

"well that sounds dumb. and your name is rather difficult to roll off the tongue. guess i'll call you 'kuni' from now on." you say with a shrug. “or would you prefer ‘kuzu’?”

his jaw quite literally dropping, brows at a mix of shooting up and furrowing, he looks at you as if you've said the ugliest insults and curses known to man into his face.

without waiting for a further reply, nor lending an ear to his angry yelling and mix of insults, you walk away.

the end of another week comes close. kazuha and you find yourselves excited for the next two days of calm and peace.

no class, no practise, just to simply exist and unwind, maybe invite some friends if you're up for socializing.

already half asleep on the couch as you give yourself to the music kazuha is making, with occasional hums to accompany the guitar; the both of you find yourselves startled when beidou barges in with a gleam in her eye.

chest moving faster than average, a huge smile plastered on her face, you find yourselves excited even before she begins speaking.

that is which, takes a little while, as her right leg gives out from the way she bended it when barging in. a moment of gathering her breath and feeling her leg fully functional later, she reveals her and ningguang's decision for a mini weekend getaway.

checking the calendar to make sure it is not april, you find it hard to believe as she already ushers kazuha to start packing for the weekend and to bring his guitar if he wishes to.

ningguang never takes a day off, unless one of the assistants, keqing or ganyu use force once in a blue moon. so how come she has agreed to such a thing now?

the eeriness aside, it is still exciting. to spend a weekend as a whole family, away from responsibilities as much as any of you will manage to be. this alone deserves a celebration on itself to be frank.

as expected of someone with refined tastes such as ningguang, her location of choosing is out of the eyes, simple yet elegant by itself, in nature but not too far away from civilization and its perks such as technology in case of any emergencies; from stepping out of the car, you can feel the air to be a lot cleaner already.

not too many steps ahead of you and muted out noises reaching your ears, the eeriness you've gotten from earlier clears up. by the entrance of the house, you see three figures waiting, their eyes now turned your way as they heard the car parked.

the same distant yet beautiful lilac eyes from weeks ago, ei stands in all her glory, her face as unreadable as ever. to her right a woman with pink hair, dressed in shades of red and an all-knowing smile hanging on her lips stand.

that must be yae miko, her wife, as you remember. everything you've heard regarding her truly do not do her justice– not that you've heard much, to be begin with.

and to ei's left stands kunikuzushi, his annoyed expression darkening, his scowl deepening, something you didn't think was possible until now.

you can more or less guess how beidou must be looking from her footsteps alone. kazuha, silent as ever, is probably keeping a stoic expression. kuni's face blending with a different emotion as his eyes shift over to where kazu must be confirm your suspicions more or less.

in her whisper-protests, you can hear beidou speak to ningguang about how she must've forgotten the definition of a family get-away, since this is not it; meanwhile in front of you, he seems to complain about where the nearest starbucks is and how he'll just buy the place and spend the weekend there, 'i'll still be in the same vicinity, as per agreed, just away from the lot of you.'

whatever hopes of a relaxing weekend you've had, you can hear remnants of it being flushed away like you've heard people did to their fish.

this was going to be a long weekend, shoulders slumping, you let out a sigh, as bickerings from both directions carry on and yae seems to observe the scene before her in glee.

[funkymbtifiction]

Hi Charity! I've been into Enneagram for a while and rn I'm second guessing if I'm really a 9 or a 6.

A lot of times my actions are driven by fear. Don't ask me to choose where we'll eat, what if everyone hates the place I pick and starts to hate me because of it? What if everyone thinks of me as someone with bad taste after it? When I wanted to switch majors in college I asked all my loved ones what they thought I should do, not because I was genuinely indecisive, but because I needed to know no one would hate me if I chose what I truly wanted. I don't really go out of my way to people please, like I would never choose a restaurant or a major I hate just to please someone else, but I often throw the responsibility into them (e.g making them choose the food and saying "I don't want that" if they choose something I don't like)...

All of this seems more 9 than 6. "What if people hate me" is 9. 6s are scrappier, and will cause trouble. They aren't as afraid of being disliked by their loved ones as a 9, who would consider that a horrible thing. (6s don't LIKE to be disliked, but they usually feel safe enough with loved ones to be super opinionated, questioning, suspicious, and somewhat assertive, even with a 9 fix.)

If someone like my dad didn't want me to switch majors, I still would do what I want (albeit I'd feel a little bad about it) because I know he wouldn't hate me for it. I think this fear of being hated stems from being a lonely kid and a bullying victim in my teenage years, but I also think I deal with it well. I don't let it take over my life and still do whatever I want to and whatever will be the best for me. This whole paragraph is the reason I think I might be a 6 core.

So 9. "Tell me what you think, but I'm gonna do what I want anyway. Just checking." You're not really indecisive, you just don't want conflict with those closest to you.

As for 9, I really relate to being numb. For me the best solution to a problem is to pretend it doesn't exist until I have to face it. I will think about it sometimes and dread the moment I will have to make a decision, but later I'll just bury it again and decide it is a problem for future me.

Yup, 9. 6s can't forget it exists. It looms in their mind until they deal with it, even if they can ignore it for a time. It nags at them.

I completely zone out when going through a tough time and start living in automatic mode, and how my primary coping mechanism for conflicts is ignoring it and never saying a thing because having an argument or a deep conversation would drain me too much.

Yup. 9. "Arguments are draining"... a 9 way of thinking.

(Just as an aside, I am a 9-fixed 6 and I start arguments all the time. So much so that my mother, who is a 1w9 and hates arguments, gets on me for "constantly causing trouble." Arguments are somewhat stimulating, lol.)

Sometimes I even start the conversation thinking "this time I'll be better and assertive so this person knows what I feel" but when then it takes more than 3 texts (can't bear to do it in person) and I'm like "oh god why did I even bother???".

9. Giving up too soon, it requires too much effort, etc.

The numbness also applies to physical situations. If I'm listening to music and doing another thing at the same time, my brain just turns the music off and I can't hear it anymore. I don't drive so if I'm in the passenger seat I usually have no idea where we are nor how did we get there nor how to go back because I didn't pay attention. Everyone says I have to build my sense of direction but I just can't. I also don't have many goals in life. I really wanted to be these digital influencers 3 stereotypes that thrive in social situations and glamour and parties but I have no energy for that. I just want to live my silly little life with my silly little things in the least draining way.

I want the least draining life possible, with no resistance - 9.

[coconut-cluster]

since you’re done w the episode/aside (which is it??), could you either do a summary or link one? i want to know what the episode is about but canon remus is one of my triggers

oh for sure!!

so the ep starts with Thomas waking up and realizing he texted Nico about dating, which he immediately followed up with saying it was a joke

Nico hasn't responded and Thomas is anxious

Logan appears and is very excited about the new schedule they apparently made together at five in the morning. Thomas is not excited.

Thomas brushes his teeth to start off the VERY packed schedule Logan has set out for him - according to his intrusive thoughts, there's a bear trap on the ground where Thomas drops his phone a minute later, there's a lot of suspense when Thomas goes to grab it but it's an intrusive thought so nothing happens when Thomas finally grabs it

Thomas is still stressed about the text though - Logan peeks in and asks if he's okay (Thomas asks if Logan is okay too!) and when he says yeah, Logan ushers him on to go eat breakfast

Thomas starts eating breakfast, but suddenly panics that there's something in the cereal and kind of breaks down while explaining to Logan that if he chokes, there's no one around him to help or save him.

Logan tries to reassure him otherwise before conceding and giving him a coloring book to distract himself instead, admitting that while the schedule is important, Thomas won't get anything done while he's panicking about small details and possibilities

Next intrusive thought is that Thomas left the door unlocked all night; the closet door creaks open, but before Thomas can really look in and panic, Logan explains the cognitive distortion "magnification" again

Thomas understands that he's panicking and perceiving things as much bigger problems or fears than they rationally are

Thomas moves on in Logan's schedule (which he's barely followed at this point) to laundry; he stops almost immediately when he finds Nico's note from the mall, before he crumples it into a ball and stalks out into his bedroom instead of finishing laundry

He has a very vivid intrusive thought of Nico telling him he's been annoying since they met, and when Thomas looks down, they both have knives in their hands.

Before anything bad can happen, Logan turns on music and instructs Thomas to focus on the rhythm and (basically) dance the intrusive thoughts away

!!next couple points mention Remus!! they're important to the ep but skip to the line that says Remus is gone if u dont wanna read em!!

Thomas continues to simply vibe, and Logan tries to explain his role to Remus, telling him that Thomas doesn't often agree to Logan's ideas and Remus' antics aren't helping.

Remus ignores him ("You pretend I don't exist, so I'll pretend you don't exist.") and Logan tries to explain that he doesn't want to ignore Remus, and that it's counterintuitive to do so, but Remus continues to ignore him

Logan has a moment of growing frustration before his eyes turn orange and he yells "Stop ignoring me!"

Remus laughs at him and asks if he'd rather be screaming that at someone else (presumably Thomas), and he disappears.

[REMUS IS GONE BABEY]

Thomas' phone suddenly starts ringing.

Nico facetimes him and apologizes for not responding to his texts - he explains that he worked a night shift and then slept all day, but that he's going to an art showing and asks if Thomas wants to come.

Thomas obviously agrees and goes to rush out of the house

Logan stops him and very sadly asks about the schedule, since Thomas hasn't followed any of it, and Thomas hurriedly assures him he'll do it another day

Logan is Sad (and frustrated) :(

The main episode ends there, but the end card is Nico and Thomas at the art showing (murals at a park)

Patton and Roman are happy and excited to see Thomas and Nico together, but Logan expresses disproval at the waste of time that could be spent on more productive things

Patton tells Logan that Roman is right about letting love bloom (Roman gives Patton a very brief but very prominent and frowny look here), and Logan admits that Thomas being happy with Nico isn’t the worst distraction

Virgil is also here but he only has one line in a back and forth exchange with Roman, rip grape boy

Thomas has a very intense scene of standing in front of a mural that says “stay connected” wherein all four sides just kind of. watch him warily, before he moves on

The camera pans up slowly to reveal Janus (with an apple) watching Thomas from a tree, and he falsely reassures the camera that “Everything is just fine :)” before taking a bite of the apple, and the screen goes black.

A pair of orange eyes appear before the video ends.

[dreamifics]

Immature

Oneshot

Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: Talk of sexual activities and stuff but no smut

Y/N joined the Avengers shortly after the big fight between Tony and Steve. Stark recruited her due to Fury's orders, she used to be under control of Hydra, like Barnes.. All of the Avengers had no problem with her, only one..

''Stupid Rogers!" Y/N shriek as she stares into her bathroom mirror..

Once again, Rogers benched her, because and she quote

'She used to be just like them!'

They were supposed to raid a Hydra facility, and something snapped at Steve's brain when he saw that Y/N was going too.

Y/N sighs, she just gripped the porcelain sink and steadied herself, she was ready to kill Steve, she was so angry.. Y/N just washed her face with the cold water from the faucet, hoping that it'll help ease the anger in her blood.

She exits the bathroom and was greeted by Bucky, he was sitting in her bed.

"Hello Tinman.." Y/N gave Bucky a smile.

"I want to apologize for--"

"You don't need to apologize in behalf of Steve.. I'm cool.."

"Are you really?"

"Yepp!No word of Captain Ass can get to me.."

Bucky crossed his arms, he knew she was lying.. Y/N just awkwardly smiled at him, she walks to her bed and dived in her bed..

"You can leave now, your boyfriend's might be missing you now.."

And in queue Sam and Steve popped up in her door, Steve was furious.. His eyes were fixed to Bucky, while Sam was just smiling slyly..

"Speak of the devils.." Y/N mutters as she gave Steve a deadly glare.

Bucky stood up from her bed and gave the two men a small nod.. Steve was still looking at Bucky but it soon averted to Y/N, she just raised her eyebrow at him.

"Have a fun mission, you two.."

"Will do, Y/N" Sam answered and gave Y/N a smile which she gladly gave back.

"Oh, Bucky!Pouvez-vous s'il vous plaît pousser le capitaine hors de l'avion pour moi?" Y/N spoke in french knowing that Bucky will understand.

Can you please push Captain out of the plane for me?

Bucky just laughs and shakes his head as Sam grabs him and drag him out of Y/N's sight. However, someone still hasn't left and it made her anger bubbled up even more.

"I swear to God if you don't leave, I'll squeeze your kneecaps.." Y/N said jokingly? She was not sure, she might just do that if Steve won't stop his douche ways..

"Cut it out, Y/N.." Steve ordered..

Y/N rolled her eyes, she sashay her way to Steve and move her face closer to his.

"You're not my Captain, you don't get to order me around.."

Y/N was supposed to walk away but was stopped by Rogers hand in her arms.. However, his hands didn't hurt her, his touch was soft and gentle.. Typical Steve..

Always a gentleman..

"I'm the Captain, you'll obliged to me.."

Y/N scoffs as she takes her arm away from him, she looked him deeply in his and saw that there were anger filling his blue eyes.. This guy really hates her..

"And what if I don't?What would you do?Fire me?Spank me?" She sassed but Steve eyes soften and his eyes wander to her body..

Y/N brows furrowed, what was Steve doing? He just stared at her and his cheeks suddenly got flushed.. Di-Did he just imagine what Y/N has said??

"What?" Y/N was weirded out, she hated the eerie silence between them and to top that up he might be imagining sexual things or so she thought..

"Capsicle, let's go!" Stark voice boomed out through the whole tower, it made Steve snap back to reality and he just walks away.

This made Y/N flabbergasted, he walked away just like that.. After the awkward silence and him being flustered, he just walked away with no explanation or whatsoever. Y/N just huffed in annoyance and flops back down to her comfortable messy bed..

What is wrong with Steve?

Days passed and it seems that Y/N is finally at peace, there were no longer eyes watching her.. Yes, Steve has given up.. How does she know? Simple, Steve is now avoiding and pretending she doesn't exist.. Which is fine by her, but there's this small pain in her heart.. She missed Steve acting like a douche..

Y/N mentally slaps herself, she used to complain about Steve always criticizing and annoying her but why is she missing it now? Y/N sighs as she slams her head in the table infront of her. A piercing pain welcomed her as her head hit the table but she ignored it.

"Umm, can I go on with my briefing?" Tony was standing in the middle of the big briefing room..

Y/N put her hands up and gestures an 'okay', she completely forgot that she was sitting with the Avengers in the middle of a meeting..

"Are you okay, Y/N?" Wanda was the first to ask her that, Y/N just let out a groan.. All of them just shared knowing looks and Tony fakes a cough.

"If you want to rest, you can go.." Tony chided..

"Alright.."

Y/N stood up and was almost to the door when Steve's phone suddenly rang, he answered it..

"Sharon?"

This name made Y/N stop, are they together? They look nice together, she hope that they'll break up soon.

"I'll be there.." Steve endes his call and stands up..

"Sorry everyone, I have a date with someone.." He push passed Y/N leaving her heart on the floor..

He has a date? Why is she even concerned about that? She doesn't care, Steve's stupid anyway!

"Wow, Capsicle is going on a date, I'll be damned.."

"And with Sharon?She's nice.." Wanda chirps in..

Meanwhile, Natasha notices Y/N who was dumbfounded and hurt by all the recent events..

"Aren't you gonna go, Y/N?" Nat asked with mischievous eyes wandering to her face..

Y/N put out a fake smile and left, how is she feeling this way? Does she like Steve? She groans as those thoughts eat her alive, maybe she just need a fresh air..

Yes, fresh air..

That's exactly what Y/N needs, she has been cooped up in the tower for weeks now.. She sped up to her room and grab her keys, jackets and Tony's credit card.. He won't mind it, that man is richer than the whole US goverment..

Y/N jogs to the elevator, turns out she's not going to be waiting for the elevator alone.. Steve is right there, also waiting for an elevator so he can go to his fancy date with someone else..

"Fuck.."

Y/N was deep in her thoughts that she didn't realize that Steve was looking at her.. She cleared her throat and walked up to the elevator doors..

"Up or down?" Steve asks making Y/N look at his stupid handsome face.

"Can't you figure it out Sherlock?" She's grumpy and she doesn't care.

"What?" Steve questioned.

"Down!"

"Could've just said that.."

"We're on the fuckin--"

"Language!" The infamous 'language', he's being dramatic as hell.

"Fine!We're on the freaking top floor and your asking me if I'm going up or down?"

"I didn't notice."

"You're just stupid.."

The elevator was taking forever, normally it would be up in a minute but she's been standing her for almost five minutes and the elevator is still a no show.

"This is taking forever, I'm going to take the stairs.." She was going to the staircase when the elevator doors opened..

"You're impatient.." Steve mumbles.

"Asshole.." Y/N mumbles back..

And before she knew it, she's pinned to the floor.. It happend so fast, Steve has pinned her down to the floor.. Their face were only inches apart, it made Y/N blush but she somehow hid it..

"Let me go, Steve.."

"Not until you beg for forgiveness.."

"Beg?Didn't know you had a kinky side, old man.."

Steve got flustered by her words, still he didn't let Y/N go.. She started to fight back by getting the upper hand and overpowering Steve.. Now she's on top, she smirks and inch her face closer to Steve's face.

"Dominant, I like that Cap.."

"Although, next time ask for a girls permission before you go and pin her to the floor.."

Without thinking Steve kissed Y/N, her eyes widen but soon she melted to the kiss. It started out soft but it became rough within seconds.. All of the unsaid feelings were mashed into the kiss.. She was out of breath but she didn't want it to stop.. Steve pulled back and smiled sweetly at Y/N, she was confused but she smiled back..

"You like me back?"

"No shit, Sherlock.." Y/N smiled but instead of Steve saying language he smiles back..

"You're so immature.."

They both laugh as Y/N got up and offered her hand to Steve, he gladly accepted..

"Go, you'll be late for your date..Wouldn't want to keep her waiting.." Y/N shooed Steve away but he just stands there..

"You are my date.."

"Well powder me in sugar and call me a donut.. Was all this planned?" Steve nods and Y/N just shakes her head in disappointment, she interlock her arm to Steve's arm.

"Let's go eat some ribs and steaks, Cap.."

On the briefing room with all the remaining Avengers,  they were cheering and celebrating as they watch the two from a surveillance camera.

"Not bad, Cap.." Natasha mumbles as she eats popcorn with Wanda and Bucky.

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[i-need-air]

Truthful mess.

Summary: Truth quirk shenanigans. HCs type with Bakugou, Kirishima, Shouto and Shinsou.

Note: Still don't know how to add "Read more" on phone, still need to make a masterlist. At least I have coffee. [I’M DOING BOTH RN, BE PROUD;;;LOOKATTHEReADMORE] Ty for reading! ♥

Bakugou Katsuki:

× well, shit

× he fucked up real bad and now he had to pay for it

× noticed something was wrong when he thanked Kirishima for saving his life instead of giving him the usual snappy attitude

× made the redhead promise to keep the secret or he'll kill him

× seriously kill and incinerate his body and was 100% serious about it

× Bakugou tried his hardest to keep his mouth shut and everything went okay until you just existed in the same room at him

× he'd just get the fuck out because all he wanted to tell you was how good you looked in whatever you were wearing or how beautiful your face was when kissed by the rays of sunshine and he was so confused

× he literally wanted to word vomit all of that

× thankfully the police arresting the mf that did this to him informed Katsuki about the effects of the quirk itself

× approximately 3 days of spilling truths

× he could handle that

× easy

× but not really; the less he talked the more he needed to spill out his mind

× he'd still snap at people, they were just dumb and he voiced that but

× well, hello there, [y/n]

× he prays you don't waltz around him

× life can be a bitch though

× it happened while training, Cementos made an area for each of you to improve your quirks and guess what? you're placed just by his side

× you just waved at him and he ignored you

× asshole much; until you kick-dropped and broke a big piece of cement in half

× "Fuck, that was so sexy..."

× your head turned slowly towards Bakugou because that was his voice, definitely, no doubt

× but it was raspy and low and it did some things to your, ehem, lowers and holy shit

× Bakugou looked like a deer caught in the highlights; he was full "step on me" mode and????????

× instantly turned the other way and yes, he is blushing

× he just couldn't hold it in, man

× so you're confused, blushing, Kirishima is near-by shook as fuck because he's ✨ realizing things ✨ since of course he's now Bakugou's self-proclaimed guard dog

× and Bakugou is back at ignoring you, his friend and the world

× you decide to keep an eye on him because that was not normal and oh my god why is that voice still affecting you? did he seriously say that??

× meanwhile you catch him looking at you from the corner of your eyes

× boy is staring real bad

× so you just go his way

× he panics as you approach him and blows shit up

× "Don't fucking come closer!" you freeze because what the hell? you thought you were getting along? yeah he's been snappy recently but it's Bakugou, he has mood-swings

× but not like this? at least with you?

× also what he said before just gave you hope??

× so you decide Fuck it all and get closer, noticing how Kirishima also approaches, looking like a bodyguard

× you raise your eyebrow because Excuse you?

× "[L/N], you should leave him be for now–"

× "Get out of my way or I'll break you, Kirishima."

× so you're having a staring match with the red-head, almost nose to nose when legit a growl shakes you to the core

× "[Y/N]'s mine, Shitty Hair, back down." he said between his teeth, his palms sparkling, quirk ready

× so his friend backs up, hands raised in defeat but a knowing grin on his face

× even in full shock you expected him to ignore you again but he just stomps towards you angrily, teeth greeted

× "You have a thing for him, hmm? You like Kirishima?" he was glaring at you, breathing heavily but suddenly locked his eyes in your lips

× and while he's throwing this fit or whatever it was, all the class kinda stopped whatever they were doing to see what's going on

× but Cementos ain't having any of that so parts you guys with a cement wall and orders you to keep training

× Bakugou was never more thankful because holy shit what was about to happen?

× you're full mind-blown, remembering his words again and again not even focusing on training; you decide to talk with his dumb ass to clarify what he said and wAs he jealous? i mean he literally said you're his so—... HE FUCKING SAID YOU'RE HIS????

× after that he went back to his grumpy old man form, you don't talk again until days later, although you did try to approach him again, many times, because YOU'RE HIS????????

× it's when he finally realizes the quirk is wearing off and he's relieved because it got to a point where he couldn't sleep

× so when you confront him in the common room the next morning he shrugs it off with a "I thought I'd accidentally confess that I love you and that would've been a problem."

× he freezes

× you freeze

× he wanted to call you a dumbass and move on until he figures his shit up but...

× that's when he realizes the effect of the quirk was dying off in waves

× save him from the mortification and confess too, please?

Kirishima Eijirou:

× he's normally a truthful guy

× but not like this, man, not like this

× Fatgum saved his ass but it was too late since he already got hit by a quirk, although none knew what it was about, so his mentor was having a full Panic moment

× later on he was informed about it's nature and was confused because nothing changed?

× he still compliments people, he's still his old self and is actually so happy that's the case

× thinks he's manly because he's honest about his feelings

× although he forgot about a tiny little detail

× his big fat crush on you

× like he'd blush when you came around, almost stuttered when responding to you, would try harder when you were around because pretty please, notice him, shows off more, all the I-need-YOUR-attention bag

× because he's smooth but in a Kirishima way, you know?

× felt he had zero (0) game [so not manly of him]

× will hands down not avoid you; thinks it's lame to run away from this

× who would've thought this was the best thing that could've happened to him?

× still had his boyish charm, cute smiles, blushes

× but now we add the honest "You look amazing today. Well, more than usual." with a wink because if he can't stop himself, at least he'll make it work big time

× and oh, shit that's doing stuff to your poor heart because his compliments are all over the roof? wth is going on?

× everyone knew about his feelings for you but now they really knew

× literally takes him half a day to spill all out

× he did try to clear his mind of those feelings in class because that would be so awkward and weird; he spent so much time daydreaming how to confess before and doing it there was definitely not the plan, but something more personal and meaningful

× when Kiri saw you in the common room though, alone and minding your own business, a grin broke on his face and had hearts in his eyes

× Bakugou had to hear a lot of shit about you, tho just rolled his eyes; "whatever, shitty hair."

× because you're so flawlessly beautiful and you're not even trying

× your head snaps up at him, blushing

× OOP–did he just blurt that out?

× so he's laughing awkwardly because not like this, man

× but goes with it because We die like men here 😤

× cue word vomit about how great you are and this quirk hit him and god you're amazing and it's not a lie because remember when you first met at UA? well he thought you were an angel and when you smiled at him? perfection and your blushing face is adorable and needs to see it everyday and ok this quirk needs to stop–

× meanwhile

× [Y/N].exe has stopped working

× legit tho, he won't shut the hell up and it's adorable

× all day he's been super smooth about his compliments to you and now he's the sweetest mess ever

× and you only notice yourself smiling when he points it out and says it's the single most beautiful thing he's ever seen in his entire life

× and even if that almost makes you 404 again you laugh and walk towards him

× which he follows and steps closer to you too

× smiling

× so he calms down when you're not freaking out about what he's spilling and goes back to being cha-cha-real-smooth again

× "I want to be able to call you mine"

Todoroki Shouto:

× another guy that doesn't really notice it at first

× he got hit by this weird blue-purple dust while on patrol with his dad

× and Endeavor went feral on this low-life villain deciding to attack suddenly

× low and behold, seems the guy wasn't a villain, just a civilian that sneezed and activated his quirk by accident

× quirk that landed on Shouto here

× which just stared confused because what?

× explanations happen, Endeavor is looking down at Shouto expecting something anytime now

× but Icy-Hot here just shrugs it off because it's okay, it's just 3 or 4 days

× funny thing is his dad asked him questions and realized pretty quick that Shouto has been really honest with him until now, which bummed him because Endeavor Is Trying™

× Todoroki Shouto was confident that nothing would go wrong so he forgets about it basically

× two days pass; class time happens

× is so fucking casual about it but it's so hilariously confusing

× he was honest before but he was quiet in general, that's why his honesty came in small dosages

× now he has no filter and won't shut up, he has this absolute need to share his thoughts

× my boy has opinions about everything

× but especially about [Y/N]

× oh yeah, he definitely tells you how that color enhances your natural beauty or how you're really smart

× is so casual and nonchalant, shooks everyone, leaves you full confusion mode while he just smiles and leaves

× legit doesn't realize it

× he complimented you before, that's the thing, but now he's really intensifying it but without changing the tone and execution and it's just a mess

× example:

× goes from "You changed your hairstyle. It looks nice." to "The way you style your hair now makes your eyes pop out more. I love it."

× lowkey proclaims his love about you; it's so obvious it hurts; you have to take it like a champ, man

× it takes Tsu to actually ask what's going on, in the first hour of class

× [even Aizawa is listening, pretending to sleep]

× explains why he's acting like this; "I got hit accidentally by a quirk that makes me speak only the truth."

× everyone just goes crazy while you're piecing stuff together in deep thought

× "Who do you think is the strongest in the class?"

× "Aizawa."

× lowkey a little shit

× "Between the students."

× "Me."

× big time a little shit

× it's until Mina asks who he likes that all hell breaks loose

× Shouto just turns to look at you, blinks and says your name

× just as everyone goes mental after a moment of silence, the bell rings signaling the next class, to which Aizawa [the mature man he is, acting as if this wasn't the best tea-spill he's gonna have at lunch with the other teachers 💅] wakes up, silences everyone and continues class

× every pair of eyes are on you all class

× Shouto is having an existencial crisis because he's actually realizing himself that he likes you

× a lot

× hands down he thought about how great you are, wondered deep in though at night why his heart beat so fast when you smiled at him, how come he got jealous???? when you'd pair with someone else to study or train... the boy didn't even know it was jealousy until now

× as in now he knew he wanted to hold your hand, have more inside jokes between you two, kiss you, marry you, wait what—

× you on the other hand are hyperventilating because Shouto likes you

× and you like him back and oH my god, wHAT just happened????

× lunch break comes, nobody moved from their seats while Todoroki just walks by, stares at you, slight blush on his face

× "I'd like to speak alone with you. About my feelings. Towards you. I like you."

× nice alone chat, Shouto 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏

× legit nobody is breathing, not making a single noise, waiting for your reaction

× so through stutters and all, you have to grab him by his wrist and get the hell out, the attention being too much

× before you reach a quiet place to talk he just stares at your hand

× "I like it when you touch me. Your hand is warm and it makes my skin tingle–"

× so you're a blushing mess when you let go of his wrist fastly

× "Do you not like me back?" [insert kicked puppy face]

× [insert you telling him that you do, but all the attention in class was killing you]

× "Good. Now hold my hand properly."

× that day Shouto learned that being bold with you was the perfect way to get the sweetest reactions out of you

× it's called teasing and Todoroki Shouto will never stop

Hitoshi Shinsou:

× Shinsou had a Reputation™, ok?

× Calm, cool, collected, that's Hitoshi Shinsou

× so how come Monoma did him so dirty?

× it seems the blond borrowed a quirk from someone he knew and fled to school to just bring Hell on Earth

× but the only person he managed to throw the quirk at was at Shinsou

× it wasn't even intended for him, but for Bakugou to embarrass him

× so here he was, Mister Tired-of-this-fucking-world now having another reason to be done with everything

× the boy wasn't dumb

× made a strategy just as Monoma was apologizing for the mistake

× somehow the blond took a liking on him and even if he was now part of class 2-A, Monoma proclaimed he was a 2-B at heart; moving on...

× 3 to 5 days of not talking lies

× great, amazing, marvelous, incredible, fantastic

× Rule #1: Avoid [Y/N] at all costs

× which would prove rather difficult since you're part of the same group he was in

× and you were starting to be really good friends

× something he loved/hated because yes, he wants your friendship but he also wants much more

× so when you came to class, would you look at that! Shinsou is sleeping!

× when you went to lunch with the squad? he fled the scene, not opening his mouth

× asked to borrow a pen in class? didn't even look into your eyes as he just gave you one

× after 3 days of this you were starting to get annoyed

× and Midoriya was writing shit down in that notebook of his mumbling stuff every single time Hitoshi bailed

× what you didn't know is that the whole Dekusquad caught on to Shinsou's shenanigans and demanded answers

× well, Ochaco did and she instantly got them because she's terrifying when serious

× so Izuku is in deep fascination with the quirk, Iida is stiff as fuck and Uraraka has this really creepy I-know-something-you-don't smile on her face; Shouto was existing there too, minding his business 🍵

× you really tried to grab a hold of Shinsou but he wasn't even answering your texts

× time to make a game-plan

× and the easiest way to understand what's going on was through Deku and that suspicious notebook of his

× it wasn't even that hard to get it because you got the perfect opportunity basically thrown in your lap

× he was mumbling your name as he was writing down

× you literally demanded to see what he's writing about involving you

× the boy went full panic but before he could manage to escape the situation, the guy that's been avoiding you grabs you by your forearm and tugs you in the hallway

× there he was, purple messy head you wanted to smack, looking all uncomfortable, rubbing the back of his neck

× "Ok, listen, I have something to tell you and I want you to know through me, not through that notebook" he sighed, eyes avoiding you

× and while you're hurt and exhausted he just mumbles "Who knows what type of embarrassing stuff he wrote there..."

× hold up, he blushing?

× so while you're processing that he explains

× "Been hit by a quirk..." yada-yada, this and that

× "Ok, but why have you been avoiding me of all people?" you just go hard on him for a little bit, not hiding that you're hurting "Do you not trust me?"

× he's caught off guard

× "Because I love you and I'm scared you'll never look at me the same."

× longest silence of his life

× he never felt the need to fill a silent moment more than now

× so he mumbles

× oh, yah, he just blurts it all out while looking everywhere but you

× "I mean you deserve better than a guy with a quirk like this. I didn't want to make things uncomfortable between us so I thought avoiding you was the best, just so we can continue being friends and–"

× he's a fucking mess and it hurts you that he's saying stuff like that because holy shit you love this sleepy idiot?

× of course you kiss him to silence his rant

× and when you separate from it and start to reassure him he's just a m a z i n g, how dare he say stuff like that and how dare he avoid you for so long; now it's his time to kiss you back slowly and sweetly

× cue instant, lazy smile

× "You're adorable..."

[intheseautumnhands]

4 17 18 25

( writing asks ) And then the end of the work week made me forget I'd ever done this one, whoops.

I got babbly, so I stuck it under a cut. :D

4. Tell me about your favorite will-never-finish-it fic? Why won’t it be finished?

Most of the stuff I thought up for a long time never actually got started, and a lot of them I still absently hope to get done someday, though a lot of them are unlikely. XD

The main one I can think of that I started, and don't think I'll ever go back to at this point, is the MCU fic I was going to write for polybigbang one year. Clint/Bucky/Steve/Natasha, starting after Winter Soldier and more or less ignores everything that happened or was revealed after -- I started it a couple movies later, but I ignore a lot of later MCU if I write it. Clint has a habit of picking up strays, people who need a place for the night or a little bit of help, and isn't going to let the collapse of SHIELD stop him; he doesn't realize the latest one is Bucky until he tells Natasha about him, and that starts a whole chain reaction. I wrote a fair amount for it, for me -- about 8k altogether, plus some rough outlining -- and while it was never a plot-heavy story, I had a lot of thoughts about the emotional arcs and interpersonal conflict.

I'm just less interested in writing the MCU overall lately, and if I ever did, I feel like it'd be easier to start fresh with things that were never more than an idea. Plus, the more canon gets added, the harder it gets to just go, "I am wiping out like seven years of movies for this fic and pretending they don't exist", without going totally OOC for this version of the characters. XD I'm not even sure I could really accurately write the versions of them I was back in like 2014 anymore. But I did like it, and I kind of wish I could make it be more than an overly-long set-up, a handful of scenes, and a series of increasingly ridiculous notes about missing scenes.

Also, it has this, which I never finished the rest of the scene for, but sort of want to rescue and put in something else if I ever go back to MCU fic, because I really liked this:

...because see, the problem isn't that Natasha has one-sided conversations at him; that would be fine. Clint would know how to handle that, but that's way simpler than what's actually going on. No, Natasha has ten-sided conversations at him, and all ten are her own sides, and Clint's never sure if he's supposed to have a voice in them too, or if he's supposed to stand here like a handball wall and let Natasha bounce all of her many points of view off of him til whatever's set her off into this state settles in her brain.

It's what he ends up doing, though, every time, because he doesn't know what he'd tell her. She never really says it, but he gets the feelings these conversations are even more of a minefield than she can't help showing. One wrong step, and she'd shut down, and he doesn't know if she'd ever open up to him like this again.

And if there's something worse than Natasha having cryptic, complex, intricate debates with herself using him as a prop? It would be knowing he'd been allowed to be that prop, and see this unsure part of herself that she keeps so carefully clamped down, and did something to prove that he didn't deserve to see it at all.

There's more of the fic that I actually like than I expected for like eight years ago, but that part is one of the first I wrote and still one of the bits I like the most.

17. What’s your overused word/phrase that you have to keep an eye out for when you edit?

"Just" and "a little". Everyone just barely does things in my fics and I need to be ruthless with it when I go through drafts. XD Also, my first instinct 90% of the time is that you are not in love now, you are fucked. "[love interest does something cute/characteristic/charming/attractive/affectionate] and [they're] so, so fucked" is my personal version of the italicized oh; it's slipped through at least two or three fics I've put up and been cut out of several.

And everyone smiles, shrugs, and leans against things too often in most of my first drafts.

18. What’s your favorite word to slip into stories if you can?

I can't actually think of one! I like too many words to show that kind of favoritism. XD

25. Freebie! What question do you wish I had asked? Answer it here!

I don't know if that's supposed to be general or off this list, I will go with off the list cause I am too tired to come up with something. XD Let me go with this one, cause I have a small ramble:

What fic is on your back burner, waiting to be written when you feel your skill matches its potential?

I'm cheating a little, cause it's not a fic but a genre. Social media fic; I love reading it, I have one or two ideas for them, but I feel like making social media sound remotely natural is hard enough when using it in real life for me. XD I'd love to write one someday, I even tried to start one at one point which never got finished, but I don't know when I'll feel up to it (or be in a fandom that works for it again, although I do have some urge to write TUA social media fic despite the time period, mostly around Allison's career).

(For a specific fic, there is an AU fic for Hadestown I keep thinking about, half-inspired by Pippin, where Persephone and Hermes keep manipulating new people to replay the story to try and fix things, focusing on the repetitions where it goes wrong, and I don't know right now if I could do that justice, even if the main reason I'm holding off is time and wanting to finish some WIPs before I start a new one.)

[annetteblog]

I got a very long ask and wrote even longer reply, and now Tumblr for some reason doesn't want to publish it through asks. So I'm making a separate post, because what else can I do? 😀 I hope Anon wouldn't mind

Hi!

Thank you for such a long ask! I really enjoy replying those, although it may take some time to actually write whatever I have on my mind 🙂 However, I feel like for every question that you posed, it's possible to write its own big reply or even an essay, so this piece of mine probably won’t give them justice (but I’ll try my best.)

As usual, one big IMO.

1) Ethics, “gueer coding” and discussions

I believe I’ve already partly touched this subject here. Shortly, I think that everything the boys did (and still do) had its own purpose. They decided to put these "undertones" (or whatever one may call them) in their art. They made some statements with a very small room for interpretation. And it didn't happen once or twice. More like, it's been a consistent behaviour throughout years.

I don't buy this excuse some fans write - "oh, he just didn't know about this/didn't understand how it looked like/didn't..." So apparently, JK wasn't able to figure out shit about Troye, didn't give a damn about his GCF, didn't think how his tattoo looked like; JM didn't realize to what conclusions could lead his quite bold words about 4am or waking up and seeing JK; both of them didn't have second thoughts about the Black Swan dance; Bang PD is just a CEO who pays zero attention to BTS in general and KM actions in particular (which sometimes actually backlash, e.g. that stop gay fanservice thing after the Seoul concerts), because he clearly just doesn't care AT ALL; whatever PR service they have in BH is just asleep all the time... Etc etc etc, you got the idea

Well, if one wants to perceive JM, JK and BigHit as a group of complete morons with no brains, this "oh, they just didn't know" explanation may work. But if all of them were idiots, how would BTS become the biggest group on a planet? They are smart enough, deal with this.

And YET. KM still do what they do. It's their choice, so apparently they have their motives. You wrote it yourself too - "Jikook and BH put out all that stuff for a reason."

Keeping this in mind, I truly think it's fair to discuss queer undertones or KM's bond. It's meant to be discussed and speculated. They made it public, and they continue to make it public (and quite obvious, to be honest). Why? Well, I guess they want us to speculate.

From here comes the second point

2) Art and its interpretations

In general, I believe that any good art should allow various interpretations. That's what a good piece of art is supposed to do - provoke a thought. As well as it's quite customary to analyze and (sometimes) overanalyze art. Thousands of universities worldwide have programs which are focused on fine art, literature, theater, music, film, etc.

And why is it okay to write about Avengers or Madonna or whatever weird art you're able to find in the closest Contemporary museum (like a banana taped to a wall), but not okay to interpret BTS' songs and/or performances? Again, I strongly believe that art is meant to be discussed. Especially as cool as theirs 🙂

Actually, some popular fandom theories turned out to be true here. Since Spring Day release on Feb 2017, fans speculated about its connection to the Sewol ferry tragedy based on the song's lyrics, MV and choreo. We got this confirmation like when, December 2020? But before it was also just an interpretation.

Coming back to KM. Combining these with the idea that JM/JK/BH clearly know what they're doing and how it may look like, I don't see a problem in having various interpretation of their art. Including queer ones.

3) Escapism

Isn't all art targeted to escaping in a sense? We want to take a break from reality and/or mundane life or just gain some new experience. In this sense what's the radical difference between staring at pictures or sculptures in a museum, watching a movie, reading a book or scrolling through Tumblr reading BTS/KM centric posts? All of these are means to escape and entertain ourselves.

As for this "if they are a queer couple, is it okay to derive pleasure and 'what a beautiful love story' feelings from two members of systematically oppressed minority?" - and you would prefer doing what - ignoring them? pretending that they don't exist? 🙃 In case if they are a queer couple, I guess showing support and benevolence is even more important. Exactly because, as you mentioned, they are a part of the oppressed minority. And the hatred is/would be definitely in place.

4) Fanfiction

Oh my, what a controversial theme these days.

Firstly, some forget it was not invented in the 21st century. Even slash fanfiction (cough Star cough Trek). As for incorporating real people, it's been a part of literature for like what.. always? There are millions of different writings about emperors, nobles, military figures, lives of saints, etc. And it's not like personal opinion of people in question bothered those, who write or wrote about them. I clearly remember a scene in Leo Tolstoy's War and Peace, where Alexander I [Russian emperor 1801-25] after losing a battle against Napoleon, hits a birch tree with his sword while crying hard and just being kinda hysterical. Would real Alexander be satisfied with such image if he read the book? Idk 😄

About having "the right to comment on such [different from your own] experience". I suppose, if authors wrote only about what they had experienced, our literature would be 95% poorer than it is. How can one write books in historic settings if they didn't live there? How do books about future and space travel exist, if we live in 2021? Is it needed to be a part of mafia to write about mafia? What about other cultures? Should an American author write only about American people and American lifestyle or it's fine to have characters from other countries?

Writing is not about experiencing something and then making a fanfic or a book, it's more about research and compassion. If you have reliable info on your theme and are able to look at the world using different lenses, why not?

I don't perceive fanfiction as a worldwide evil. Sure, there are creepy examples as well as authors, who write fetishizing weird shit. But it doesn't mean that all fanfiction=bad and all slash fanfiction=objectification of male homosexuality. Fanfiction is just one form of fiction, it can be good or bad based on how it's written. But the label itself doesn't define anything, as well as reading it should not be a reason to accusations.

5) Jikook, shipping and politics

I'm among those, who perceive pretty much everything as a part of politics. We all exist within some political conventions and have certain political laws over our heads. And yes, it includes art. Even if an artist says something like "oh, I decided to stay away from politics, my work is beyond it". The decision to stay away from politics is also political, because apparently there was something within the political structure what made this artist say that and forced them to make this distinction between them and some institutional conventions.

And that makes me believe that shipping/supporting KM is also political. But I don't think it's necessarily bad? Basically, you decided to support potentially queer people from a country, which doesn't really approve LGBTQ+. It puts you in the opposition towards a particular government. You made a choice. You could google some SK stuff, read all that you mentioned in the beginning of your ask, and say something like "oh, that's not okay there? well, fair enough, I guess their government knows better"🤠 and forget that this KM thing even exists. But apparently you didn't

Imo, is it politics? Yes

Is it bad that it's politics? Well, no? 🙃

|

P.S. I hope I was clear enough with my ideas. Thank you again for the thought provoking ask, and I hope I'll hear from you again 🙂

And honestly, I don't think that you're problematic in any way :)

[wendystales]

Memories - lrh (Chapter Fifteen)

Memories (also on Wattpad)

Chapter Fourteen ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ Chapter Sixteen

Marnie pov.

I walk into the record company, finding a very young guy at the front desk, probably the intern. Encumbered with phone calls and notes, I wait for him to finish everything before speaking. His lost eyes soon find me and he smiles sympathetically.

“Hi Marnie, Luke is in studio three.” he whispers quickly, getting back on the phone.

I smile in thanks, heading down the hallway he's pointed out. I didn't think it would be so easy. The noise coming from behind the door to studio three startles me. The boys are laughing and screaming so loud, it amazes me that no one came to complain.

I knock on the door twice, hard, to try to get their attention over that area. A guy in a cap opens the door, revealing a room with at least eight people inside.

Luke is the first to jump out of his chair, coming over to me, grinning hugely, pulling me into the room. Ash gets up too, following close behind.

“Sorry for interrupting, but I needed to talk to you.” I look at Luke, who agrees. I pull him out of the room as I hear Irwin complain.

"A disregard for my friendship. Before, she used to come here to see me, not to see you, you empty-headed bunch.”

"She never came to see you." Hood opposes.

I ignore the pre school fight, focusing on the tall blonde in front of me. I lean against the wall, letting him get closer.

Luke had spent Friday night with me, taking care of me. We also spent Saturday morning together, just existing on the couch. That was definitely a very good point for both of us and it really strengthened our relationship. It also didn't make him leave my thoughts, earning him the title of the cutest guy I know.

Never would Stephen do that to me, even because when I was bad he didn't even come close, not wanting to “catch my bad energy”.

“You forgot that at home.” I give his coat, trying to hide it was against my will deliver it so easily.

I saw the coat the second Hemmo left the house, but when the perfume enveloped me, I decided for my own good, to just keep it for a little while, spending day and night in it. Luke stares at me with a raised eyebrow before taking the coat from my hands, smiling.

“Funny, I really missed it, but yesterday, I saw it in your stories, so I didn't worry anymore.” I roll my eyes, feeling my cheeks heat up. "Let me enjoy that you still don't hate me today."

“Too late.” I interrupt him, biting my lip.

"I wonder if I can pick you up, so we can go to the Troubadour together."

The boys are playing there today, for the Friends of Friends event, and I was particularly excited, it would be the first time I would see them play live. “First time”.

I wrinkle my forehead and look around, pretending I was thinking about it. Luke looks at me in disbelief, holding back his laughter. I pout, shaking my head.

"I think you can! Yes, you can. I allow.” I press my lips together, wanting not to laugh.

“Oh God, you.” he shakes his head, looking away. I let out my laugh. "Can I pick you up at 7pm? I need to be at the Troubadour at least an hour before the show.”

“Of course! No problems. Go! Now I need to talk to Ash.” I push him back to the door.

“It's about my birthday, isn't it?” he opens an excited smile.

I dissolve my expression, wanting to hit him. Damn it, he knows. I feel the surprise party going straight down the drain, but I don't want to give in to it.

“No! The world doesn't revolve around you, Hemmings.” I cross my arm, teasing him.

“It's about my birthday! Alright, I'm going to pretend I don't know anything.” he takes two leaps into place happily.

“My God, I hate you.” I hide my face, sighing. I can't believe he screwed up his own surprise party.

“Hey.” I hear his voice close. I take my hands away from my face, finding his very close. His lips steal a kiss from me, quickly.

“Go away!” I pick up my bag, hitting him.

Luke walks into the studio laughing, yelling at Ash that I've been waiting. I walk around the hallway, wanting to wipe the stupid smile off my face. I hide my face again, returning to the scene that just happened about 50 times, at least.

“Say it!” Ash approaches.

“I hate him!” I point to the studio, taking a deep breath.

“Of course you do! And the sky is green. I can see how much you hate him, by that silly smile on your face.” Irwin raises an eyebrow.

"Don't make me use my purse against you too." I scare away the latest happenings, focusing on what mattered. "Do you have the ring?" he hands me a silver ring set with a black stone.

“Quickly, because he's already noticed he's gone.” I nod, still analyzing the jewelry.

"I'm going right now and tonight I'll return you at the Troubadour." I keep the piece in my bag. "All set for Friday?" he nodded. "You know he knows, don't you? How did he find out?”

“Behind that stupid face, he's smart sometimes.” I roll my eyes at my friend, laughing. “Seriously, if you pay attention, sometimes it feels like there's an elevator song playing in his head. Especially when he's standing staring at something.” I laugh when Ash decides to imitate Luke, staring blankly at the wall.

“You guys are terrible. Well, I'll be on my way, see you later.” I give a kiss on his cheek.

Thursday is Luke's birthday and I, more than anyone, want it to be a perfect day. Also, I want to give him a nice present that somehow doesn't involve my body, as I apparently did before.

Searching the internet, I found a store in east LA that sold some jewelry that I thought would be to his taste. I was going after a box with five rings and three necklaces, which looked like they were made for Luke.

If I could, I would advance the time, just to give the gift soon. I just want to see his face and hope he likes it the way I think it will.

I walk past reception, waving goodbye to the poor receptionist who still seemed tangled up with the phones. Interns.

"Marnie?" I turn around when I hear my name. The man in the dress shirt, who had just passed me, approaches smiling.

“Yes?” I look at him confused.

“Of course, you don't remember. Sorry! I'm John, 5sos’ tour manager. How are you?”

“Oh! I'm great, thanks.” I soften my posture. Being Luke's girlfriend, I must have seen John a thousand times.

"It was quite a scare. I'm relieved you're okay.” I smile gratefully at the concern. "Would you have a minute for us to talk?"

Luke pov.

I lean against the car, waiting for Marnie to get out. I take a deep breath, trying not to let the anxiety get the better of me. We've practically spent the weekend together, we're getting closer, she's letting her guard down with every second we spend together, letting me fight to win her back, and yet here I am, shaking like a stick, as if it was the first time we went out together.

"Pathetic!" I say to myself, not accepting being like this.

We dated for two years, it's not like she was a stranger. I know her better than she does. I already know everything she likes, how she's going to react to every move I make and even then, I'm terrified of doing something wrong.

When I realized I was falling in love again with every detail of her, I didn't think that insecurity would come back with it. In fact, I thought it would be better than the first time, that I would be more confident and secure. But it’s Marnie I'm talking about, she eliminates any security and logic in me.

I twirl the little ring through my fingers, noticing how cold and sweaty my hand was. Yes, that human being not five feet tall, can mess with me.

I hear the door unlock, prompting me to put the ring away quickly. Marnie steps in front of me, walking around with open arms. I give her the dumbest smile.

“So? Am I OK?” she stretches out her Friends of Friends hoddie proudly.

"You look spectacular." I sigh, feeling my heart race.

"Not really, it was a little old thing that was in the back of my closet." she laughs, sounding like her mother last week. I blink a few times, trying to disguise the stupid face I must be making.

“You really look fantastic.” I say before holding her body against mine. I sink my nose into her neck, taking in all of her scent, letting into my bloodstream, fueling the butterflies in my stomach, along with the touch of her skin against mine, even with the clothes between us.

I ease my grip, releasing her, but her body remains pinned to mine and she pulls me back, squeezing me tighter. The action takes me by surprise. Not that I didn't want to hold her, I could live the rest of my life here, in her arms. But that indicated something was wrong.

“Is it everything OK?” I whisper, overcome with worry. Marnie just nods, affirming, or rather lying to me. She's not fine.

Her body pulls away and I see a sad glint in her eyes. My body tenses, seeing that fake smile take her lips, unlike the one she gave just minutes ago. My face hardens, realizing she was acting.

“Marnie…” I start my speech to say that she could tell me anything, but she interrupts me.

“We're late, we need to go. Let's go!” she dodges around me, heading for the car door.

I sigh, seeing that I won't be able to get anything out of her today. As far as I know, she doesn't want to spoil the night and will hold it off until the end. I hate when she does that. Keep everything to herself, without the slightest need, we can share the problem and even the pain, that's what a couple does, they support each other.

We left the building, taking the expressway to get there faster. Marnie babbles about her excitement to see the band play live. Normally, I love to hear and see her talk too much. Seeing her eyes flashing rapidly, her tongue getting tangled up in some difficult word, or seeing her start to laugh before she can get the funny part out. Her clumsy hands, moving quickly until she managed to drop something.

But now, I can only move my head automatically, still with my mind on her bad performance from before. Until this morning everything was fine, she was excited and happy. Until minutes ago she was happy. But now it's just a facade covering something I can't quite make out what it is.

She didn't argue with Leah, because the gossip didn't get through to me, and I'm sure Noah would have let me know by now, so we can set the process for the two of them to make up. I didn't see anything on the internet that could have messed with her. Unless something happened during the photo shoot.

"Luke?" I look quickly at her, who was looking at me amused. “Are you OK?” now she was the one asking.

“Yeah! Sorry, I daydreamed a bit. Thinking about everything I need to do getting there. What did you say?” I try to push my worry away, focusing solely on her, which is what I cared about.

"I asked if you're going to play my song?" my cheeks heat up. She knows?

"What song?" I question carefully.

“The one made for me, Amnesia.” I stop at the light, staring at her mischievous smile. This one is not fake.

"You didn't make that joke." I say disappointed. Marnie laughs beside me. “I refuse to accept that you made such a horrible joke. Marnie, you were not like that.” I shake my head.

“It was good, you can't deny it.” she pulls my hand into her lap. I freeze from the movement, feeling my skin tingle.

“It was terrible and it insults me somehow. I taught you wonderful jokes.” her fake, forced laugh catches my attention as I accelerate.

"I hear your jokes are horrible." I look quickly at her, who's sitting sideways, her head leaning back against the bench. Shit, she is so beautiful.

“This is a huge lie.” her laugh fills the car again.

The mood gets better the rest of the way. I still have my mind hammering at that moment, but I leave it for later, as she probably would. We entered through the back of the Troubadour, meeting everyone in the hallway and dressing room.

I hold her hand, pulling her close to me as we walk into the crowd. As I expected, M&Ms become the center of everything, everyone wants to say hello to her and see if she really was okay. I leave her for a few seconds in everyone's company, pulling Ashton and Leah aside.

"Do you guys know if something happened to Marnie?" They deny it. "Didn't you discuss?"

“No! In fact, I'm missing it.” Leah turns her face away, watching M&Ms laugh among the crowd. “What there was?” she looks at me again. I resume the scene for the two of them.

“She was fine when she left the record company.” Ash reinforces my thinking.

"I didn't know anything about today's photo shoot." Leah adds. "You don't think Stephen might have shown up again, do you? Or even that bitch? Bethany?” I shake my head.

Stephen had to be really, really dumb to show up to Marnie after she said she knew everything. And Bethany never tried to talk to her after what happened, I doubt she would try now.

“I'm sure she doesn't want to say anything yet so as not to spoil the night, we know how she is.” Leah rolls her eyes, she also hates such an attitude. “But later on, she might tell what happened and right away it will be with one of the three of us.”

"If she says anything later, I'll talk to you." Hastings warns.

I thank the brunette, who quickly rejoins Marnie. I watch her extend her still-in-a-cast arm for them to sign in the few empty spaces.

I quickly prepare for the show so I can stay with her for a few more seconds before taking the stage. I position myself behind her, who was sitting on the arm of the sofa, letting her body lean against mine. I watch for her hand moving up to her shoulder, placing it under mine. I drop a kiss to her pink hair, watching her lean her head back further, looking up at me with a beautiful smile.

Shit, I'm so in love with her.

Minutes after a lot of mess, we got ready for the stage. Marnie comes to me before running to their place. I adjust the guitar, opening my arms to her, who comes bouncing.

"How much have you had to drink?" I ask, laughing, looking at her rosy cheeks.

“Just a little.” It hangs around my neck. “I promise not to pick a fight with anyone." she laughs.

“Thanks! I feel more relaxed.”

“Good show!” she wish me, stealing a kiss like I did earlier.

Marnie escapes my arms like sand, running to the door and running away hand in hand with Leah. I rub my face hard, not accepting how she can move me so much.

I approach the guys, doing our circle like every time we go on stage.

The lights blind me for a few seconds and soon I can see that sea of ​​people ecstatic to see us there. Ashton takes the lead, thanking everyone in advance for their presence and explaining why we're there.

I position myself at the microphone, ready to start singing Youngblood. Before I give the cue, I look upstairs, seeing her cotton candy hair watching me with a mixture of admiration and sadness. I blink at her, who smiles lightly and without strength. I play the chord, trying to focus my attention on the show and the new song I'm going to sing for her next, but all that goes around my head is: What's going on, Marnie?

OMG! Luke's new music video, am I right?

[barjogaron]

This is the continuation for my Elite AU Love & Deceit! The fanfiction can be read on ao3 here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32302612

And on Wattpad here:

Chapter Three:

Waiters and waitresses all dressed in white stand on every corner of the table. There are young men who play violins in the corners of the room, and women who tug on the strings of harps. I see my suite mates are already seated and I grab a random seat to sit in. From across from me I see Polo looking at me with hungry eyes, teasing me with a smirk. I ignore him and observe the rest of the dining hall.

Traditional European foods of all kind are already set up neatly on the white blanketed table on silver plates that are partnered with a drinking glasses and silverware. A heavenly chandelier hangs from above everything and Crisanto sits at the head of the long table. He is accompanied by other people dressed just as fancy as him. A young man with rosy cheeks and a friendly smirk, sitting next to another guy with beautiful caramel-colored skin and dark eyes. There is also a girl who sits beside them and they all bicker in a soft chatter, laughing and giggling in unison. There are a few other important looking people as well. I assume they are all Cristano's very opulent friends.

"Welcome, everyone. This meal is not only for my departure, but also in dedication to you, the new addition to the White Mansion." Crisanto smiles. Even though I shouldn't take it in other way, "new addition to the White Mansion" sounded pretty odd to say, but I shouldn't think too hard about it.

"Ah, right on time as always." Crisanto turns his heads to his sons that enter the room. Leading his brothers, dressed handsomely, is no other than the bruiting, Guzmán.

He is dressed in a black velvet suit, a suit that darkens his eyes in a strange deep incandescent green filled with obscured devilry. His hands are in his pocket, and he looks at just about everything in the room, except for in my direction. For a split second our eyes lock, and he quickly turns away clenching his jaw. I can tell he is forcing himself to avoid me. But why? I wonder what his problem is.

His brothers are dressed in a more casual formal  attire. They all sit in seats near the girls I'm living with, and some next to each other and other guests who I am not yet familiar with. By the time all the boys sat down, the only spot left for Guzmán to sit is next to me...

His powerful scent infiltrates my nostrils and I can't help but to think how good he smells. I try my best to ignore him, tapping my fingers on my thighs. I can feel him eyes looking over me, and from the corner of my eye I see his jaw do his signature clenching thing again, and he quickly turns his head away from me, taking a sudden interest in the silverware in front of him.

"Now, shall we say grace before we begin?" Crisanto smiles but it quickly fades when he looks at me, giving me an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry Nadia, forgive me. Would it be alright to say prayer? I don't want to oppress any different religious beliefs." he asks me and I shrug in my seat, trying to avoid all the eyes of the room staring at me.

"I really don't mind it." I smile nervously.

"Splendid. Come now, let us all hold hands." he tells us. I'm not so keen to the idea of holding hands with Guzmán, but I must do so. This day just keeps getting better and better...

We all stand from our seats, grabbing onto one another's hands. I am hesitant to hold Guzmán's hand, inching my hand closer to his.

"I don't bite," whispers Guzmán. "Hard." He surprises me by practically snatching my hand into his. His hands are bigger than mind, fingers slender and ringed with silver, and easily wraps around my cold hands. Unlike his, which are somewhat soft and very warm. For some odd and stupid reason, I can feel my face heating up and I literally shake my head to fight against the sensation. I hate this.

"Our gracious Heavenly Father," Crisanto begins the prayer and we all close our eyes as he continues. For some odd reason I am tempted to open my eyes, and stupidly, I do, only to see Guzmán staring at me. I close my eyes quickly and I hear a soft chuckle escape from his mouth. I didn't think he was even capable of even chuckling, let alone laughing. I can feel the heat rising, my palms getting hotter and hotter.

Please end this prayer already! Please! I mentally scream. I repeat it over and over in my head, just so I can escape Guzmán's grip. Within moments, Crisanto ends the prayer with an amen, and we all sit back down in our seats. Thank goodness.

I snatch my hand back as quick as I could, looking away and pretending Guzmán doesn't exist. Yet, this cunning young man has the audacity to lean closer and whisper into my ear.

"Don't worry, I enjoyed holding your hand too." he grins against my ear. I can feel him smiling at me. I know for sure it's with all the wrong intentions.

"Don't flatter yourself." I whisper back to him and his eyes simmer cold, but his perky lips still hold that smirk. Guzmán smirks and focuses his attention to his plate.

"I can tell you're not going to be an easy catch." he says and my mouth hangs open. I know he's trying to get under my skin. I can tell by his cheeky smile.

I scoff.

"You have another thing coming if you're thinking I'm a catch." I tell him and focus on my plate, waiting for the waiter to reveal our meals. Everyone else is socializing with one another like normal people, and here I am with the dreamy yet diabolical, Guzmán, who I barley even know—is finding it in his twisted pleasure to annoy me.

"Don't worry, little rabbit, I enjoy a good game." I look at him and I lose it.

"Game?!" I shout and everyone goes quiet. I clear my throat thinking of something of a way to quickly dig myself out of this awkwardness.

"I didn't know you fancied sports so personally, Guzmán." I shoot Guzmán a wicked look, hoping he catches on. He simply grins. Damn his smile is gorgeous, but already I despise him.

"Oh yes, basketball is a sport I love. As well as rugby, and such and such." Guzmán replies and everyone continues to their casual banter. I notice his brothers whispering to one another, chuckling.

"Nadia, I'd like you to meet my young friends who are successful in the fashion industry," Crisanto smiles at me, pointing to the gentleman with the dark blue suit and wavy brown hair. I can tell he is a model because how charming he is.

"This is Nathaniel Gray, he models for Calvin Klein. The fellow next to him is his friend, Austin, accompanied by their companion, Eleanor Steel, who is a photographer.

I wave to them and they give me friendly smiles, but I can tell they weren't really interested in the acquainting business. The waiters reveal our meals which consist of steak, lobster, salads, vegetables, fruits, and my personal favorite beverage besides lemon water and wine.

The night had went on and on about business talk and getting familiar with one another. The boys kept cackling to jokes most of the time, and I would occasionally talk to my suite mates. Carla was busy flirting with a guy named, Joseph, who was more than alluring on his part

Throughout dinner, Guzmán stayed quiet and kept to himself. He didn't make any snarky comments, or made an attempt to bother me. Every time I talked, he just...watched me. Maybe he didn't think I noticed him, or felt him looking at me. Or maybe, he didn't care if I did...

"So, Nadia, please do tell us a little bit more about yourself." Nathaniel asks, taking a sip of wine from his glass.

"There's not really much to know about me." I nervously reply. Being the center of attention was never my favorite thing to be.

"Please, enlighten us." Nathaniel insists and I sigh to myself. Guzmán is fully focused on me and I can feel the anxiety brewing within me.

"Well, I'm from Madrid, Spain, born and raised. I love singing and photography, as well as writing. Um, I'm in my last year of college at NYU, majoring in English and hope to one day publish a story of my own. I'm Twenty-one years old, and I have a loving family who I am thankful everyday for." I tell everyone and notice Guzmán has turned his attention somewhere else, burying a smile under his hand pressed against his lips.

"Well that was a perfect little bio if I ever heard one. Nice to meet you, Nadia." Nathaniel says and I smile and mentally pat myself on the back. I take a quick glance at Guzmán who drinks his wine. As soon as I look away to down the rest of my glass of wine, I think I hear him say, "This should be fun."

"What did you say?" I look at him. I meant for it to come out more with authority but I sounded like a timid school girl.

"Nothing, Princess," Guzmán grins while standing. "Enjoy your meal." he winks and walks away from the table, leaving the dining hall. Crisanto watches him leave and I pour me more wine and continue eating.

I really wonder what goes on in Guzmán's head. I sigh. So far I have survived the ongoing night. Let's see how it ends.

...

AFTER DINNER ENDED everyone said their fair-wells and goodbyes to one another. Carla kept flirting with Joseph, and the other girls were a trying to keep their drunken behavior managed until they got back to the suite. Crisanto had got into his white limousine hosted by William, and had left for the airport. The house is now officially in the supervision to me and his sons. Honestly, I don't know which terrifies me the most.

I stroll around outside on the balcony after getting changed into more comfortable clothes to sleep in, which is just a typical silky white gown. My hair in a messy bun and I am so glad to have all that make-up off my face. I put on my reading glasses and make me some tea to soothe me. I figure I'll take this peaceful moment to enjoy the night air. I tip toe outside onto the balcony while the the girls are asleep l in their rooms.

I take in the fresh late spring air. The breeze cool, just right, soothing and running across me. The balcony is big and acts as a perfect view for most of the enormous backyard of the white mansion. I see the tennis court, the basketball court, the swimming pool, the green house, and the walking trail that stretches into a land of tall trees amongst the meadow between the mansion and the woods.

I lean on the ledge of the stone balcony guarded by more white lions. Below, I notice someone standing near the swimming pool. He just stands there, looking at the large pool illuminated with the lights beneath it. I set my cup on the ledge and watch him. It's of course, Guzmán, to no surprise. I just watch him. What is he doing? Why do I care?

I continue to watch as he mindlessly watches the pool with his hands in his pocket. Then, to my surprise, Guzmán begins to slowly undress, taking off his clothes peace by peace. His skin is open to the night air. He pulls down his pants, kicking of his shoes and sliding off his socks. Finally, the biggest shock, is that he slides off his black name brand boxers and tosses them to the side. Oh my god, he's naked! Skinny dipping at that!

I can't help but to notice how his physique is literally godly, Greek defined for sure. The shape of his rear even, it's unearthly. I blush at the sight and I want to look away. In fact, I even turn my head...but instinctively, I find myself looking back.

He rakes his fingers through his hair and I am mesmerized by the intensity of his back muscles. He must work out. A lot. Catching me off guard, Guzmán turns his head back towards where I stand and I quickly duck to the floor of the balcony. I peak at him, seeing him turn back around and I cautiously stand back up. I watch as he dives into the now disturbed water, swimming naked and proud without a care in the world.

taglist: @inmyarmsyoufell @elitestan @glamorizing @jasminejc4525