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tinyglitterrose · 2 years ago

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Part 3 - Snapchat Messages

Part 3, Mashton friendship, Fluff

Warnings: none

Summary: a whole lot of fluff and lots of Mashton content

Ashton jumped when his front door slammed close. He bit his lip so hard it drew blood, wrapped his arms tightly around his body, hid his face in his knees but it didn't help. He started crying and soon sobbing.

He felt absolutely pathetic. So pathetic. And so so stupid.

An angry cry left his wobbling lips when he remembered the cum still splattered on his chest. Luke hadn't even bothered to ask if he was okay, no aftercare, no nothing. He had fucked him and then he had left. He couldn't even move from his spot on the couch. He just sat there, fully naked, cum slowly drying on his body and tears on his face for hours.

He tried, but he just couldn't get himself to move.

He was freezing and still crying.

His phone was on the coffee table in front of him.

He almost fell off the couch when he reached for it, but he managed to get it and after a few tries his shaking fingers finally opened his messaging app.

'caan you cxome ovr' he typed and pressed send.

Michael showed up barely fifteen minutes later. Everyone knew Ashton didn't drink so he couldn't have been drunk and therefore made all these typos and when Ashton was high, he texted dumb shit like 'hey, check out this dancing hedgehog video i found, it looks like you'. Well, okay, he also sent stuff like that when he was sober. But he didn't make such bad typos and he always used punctuation, so Michael knew that something was wrong. Bad wrong.

He let himself into his bandmate's house with the key from his keychain that had all the keys to his bandmate's houses. They all had each other's keys, that's just how they were.

"Ash?", if Ashton had been in a good mood he would've made fun of how loud Michael was shouting when he was just in the next room, "Ashton, are you - Ash!"

He didn't look up when Michael found him in his living room, also not when he crouched down in front of him, asking what was going on, if he was okay, to please talk to him.

"Shit", Michael was mumbling, "Should I call the other boy-"

Ashton was shaking his head heavily before he could even finish the question. Alright, Michael could be a good friend, he could take care of him, he could do this.

"I'll - I'll get you your robe, okay? Just wait here"

And of course Ashton waited. He hadn't moved an inch when Michael came back with his colorful robe that he loved to wear around the house basically every chance he got.

Michael carefully put it around his shoulders, leaving it to Ashton to slip his arms into the sleeves, which he did after a few more moments.

The sleeves covered his palms and Ashton wiped one of them over his face, sniffling and looking up for the first time in hours.

Michael almost started crying on the spot, the last time he had seen his older friend look so utterly broken was when he had admitted his self harm and depression to the band.

He just wanted to hug him and tell him that everything was going to be okay. That he was there for him, they all were. Except that one of them wasn't but Michael didn't know that.

"I ran you a bath, it should be ready now" Michael kept his voice quiet, as if talking to a scared animal. Ashton shook his head, he didn't want to bath, he wanted to keep sitting here and pity himself.

"You know I can't carry you. But I'll try if you don't get up", Michael tried to joke and his day got twenty times better when Ashton's lips actually twitched upwards for a second.

"I - but I"

"I almost stepped on a used condom when I came in, okay. I know what's going on", Michael interrupted him and Ashton pulled a face.

Before he could apologize, even though it wasn't even his fault, Michael just shook his head and pulled at his wrist, urging him to get up.

He did. His legs almost gave out, but he held himself with Michael's hands around his biceps and then he limped into the bathroom. He didn't want to think about why he was limping. He didn't want to think about any of it.

Michael wordlessly turned the faucet off, sticking one hand into the full bathtub to see if the temperature was alright and when he decided it was, he nodded to Ashton and made a small hand gesture towards the water, smiling hopefully.

Ashton averted his eyes to the from wash gel pink water, then back to his friend.

He let out a relieved breath when he noticed that the guitarist was inspecting his shower as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. Michael was Michael, he was always able to make a situation comically awkward, but just this once Ashton was thankful for it. And he didn't think about the other band member that was incredibly good at awkward situations at all when he slid his robe off and slipped into the water.

It was hot, just on the edge of not being too hot.

"I'm a failure, Michael. Such a failure."

Michael's face turned into an expression of pure pain. He knew if he tried to tell him he wasn't, Ashton would immediately object, so instead he carefully asked: "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

Ashton kept his eyes on the water, drawing slow shaky circles on the slightly foamy surface.

"I-", he began, but stopped and stayed quiet for another few minutes. Michael patiently waited, sometimes being quiet and just being present was enough and it was all Ashton needed right now, he would talk when he could.

"I need the shampoo", he mumbled after a while and Michael was glad to get up and get it. For Ashton and because his butt was starting to hurt from sitting on the tiles floor but he would sit here for weeks if it meant he could be there for his best friend.

Ashton attempted to bring up his arms to put the shampoo on his hair, but felt so incredibly weak. Michael wordlessly pealed the bottle from his long fingers to do it.

The tears running down the drummer's cheeks were from the embarrassment of having to have his bandmate wash his hair, Michael thought, and partly they were. But mostly, Ashton was thinking about Luke. Luke should be here with him right now, taking care of him, rubbing his fingers across his scalp to wash all the sweat and smell of sex out of his hair. Tell him how much he enjoyed what they had done together, but he wasn't here. He hadn't even looked back, he hadn't even looked at him from the moment he had pulled out, like Ashton was just a toy that was used once and then thrown away.

And Ashton blamed himself. He always blamed himself for things and he had started it. He was the one to keep sending Luke his nudes, he had probably made it look like he was exactly that: a toy to be used and then thrown away. Luke had fucked him because Ashton had put a 'free to fuck' sign on himself and then he had left. He was probably holding Mandy in his arms right now, telling her how much she meant to him.

"I had sex", Ashton said so quietly Michael barely understood it and he almost didn't manage to stop the 'duh' from slipping out, "with a friend"

"A good friend", Ashton added when Michael didn't react. It wasn't any news that Ashton liked to have sex and wasn't opposed to doing it with people he was friends with.

"And he just left you like that?", Michael asked, not going for the obvious 'who' question, because if Ashton had wanted to give him this detail he would have done so.

A small sob was answer enough.

"I'm gonna bash their head in with a shovel and burry them", Michael mumbled and Ashton hiccuped out a small sad laugh.

"No, seriously, Ash, I am so sorry for this-"

"You don't-"

"I know", Michael said, shielding Ashton's eyes from the water he was now pouring onto his head to wash out the shampoo like you'd do with a child, "But if I ever find out who it was, they can expect, well, something"

Ashton smiled weakly, tears continuing to stream down his cheeks. He hoped that no one would ever find out that it was Luke. Luke, the sweet angel voiced youngest member of their band. Luke, who everyone loved.

"You know what", Michael said after the bath, while he was making a cup of coffee for Ashton who was miserably crouching on the couch, "screw him"

Ashton's tried eyes met his.

"Yea", Michael nodded energetically, "Screw that guy. He's a fucking asshole and he doesn't deserve a single second of you thinking about him. We're gonna go out and have one hell of a time -a sober time, of course", he added the last part when he remembered that Ashton didn't drink. But he could still party and have great fun, and he'd do that with Michael, yes he would.

Ashton didn't seem to excited at his master plan.

"No party?"

Ashton shook his head, a sad sigh escaping his lips.

"Alright, then a movie night", Michael smiled brightly at his new idea, "C'mon, Ash, you can't resist that"

The drummer shrugged and took the hot coffee cup with some mumbled words that were supposed to be a 'thank you'.

Michael wasn't always the biggest cuddler but he knew Ashton could use a portion of cuddles right now. Ashton didn't object to the arm around his shoulders, blankly staring at the tv as Michael turned it on.

"Do you want anyone else to come over?", Michael asked carefully. He knew he had asked that when he had arrived but maybe a movie night between all four of them would help Ash to takr his mind off of things.

"No, just you", Ashton mumbled, sadness so crystal clear in his voice. He would have loved to have Calum here, too, but if he asked for Calum but not the fourth member of the band as well, it would raise questions. And some calm quiet time with Michael was also nice.

Ashton tried to convey his thankfulness to him by leaning into his shoulder.

"Okay", Michael wrapped his arm tighter around his best friend. Ashton was breathing okay, he was clean, all those touches washed off and Michael was here for him and he'd make weird comments and try to be funny until he felt better.

-----

this took soooo long to finish! but i'm excited to post it now and i'll get right to putting it up on ao3 too ❤️

#5sos masterlist #ashton irwin #ashton imagine #fanfic #ashton 5sos #michael clifford #michael imagine #michael 5sos #5sos #5 seconds of smut #5sos fluff #5sos imagine #ashton irwin fluff #michael clifford fluff

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igarbagecannoteven · 2 years ago

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hi megs :) i can't believe you scheduled that ask game for over a year ahead but I am here to ask if you are so inclined to answer! 3, 11 (i know you try to be equal opportunity, but i'd love to know if you think you do have preferences despite that), 14, and 18 for fear the fever if you'd like -hazel

hiya hazel! thanks so much for sending these in i love you and hope you're doing well 💙 hopefully you still want to hear the answers to these lol

3. what are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics? pining, completely off-the-wall premises, people being covered in blood, cars, friends to lovers, & general sillyness broken up by characters being emotionally devestated :))

11. are you partial to a certain character/pairing or are you more equal-opportunity? If you are partial to any character/pairing, why do you think that is? i do try my best to distribute my love and fic writing across all the pairings, but i am human i am willing to admit that i occasisionally truck with favoritism (shh don't tell anyone) i have always had a soft-spot for writing lashton and malum, partly bc of what was going on in the fic community when i joined & bc i think their dynamics are pretty natural for me to write. like i can't imagine writing malum as anything other than friends to lovers which is one of my favorite tropes, and lashton are very easy to emotionally devestate bc i have a pretty clear idea of what my fictionalized versions of them would do in response to x thing happening to the other. but i also go through spirts of favoring other pairings! there was a period of time where all the wips i started were mashton (and someday i will finish them,,, someday)

14. are there any tropes you would only read if written by a trusted friend or writer? oh definitely! i think anything that starts to enter the morally grey area (ie fics involving violence or sa or sh) are ones that i don't tend to read unless i know the author's work, just bc it can be really easy to butcher a darker-themed fic, either making it unrealistic or overly romanticized or too preachy for my tastes. i also tend to be pretty hesitant to read fics that are written in a non-au (or in an au very similar to our world), and i like to be familiar with what the author thinks of each of the band members before i dive in. it's fine if their interpretation is different from mine (and it often is lol) but i like to know what to expect and know that they aren't going to be portrayed in an incredibly flat manner. what can i say i'm a bit of a writing snob lol

18. if you wrote a sequel to [fear the fever], what would it involve? welll i may or may not already have a doc with sequel ideas for this fic sooo 👀 i'm still deciding exactly how i want to handle it, but the idea currently in the lead is following them on their roadtrip to malum's wedding and exploring all the struggles that would come with that (only being able to travel when the sun's down, dealing with luke's craving and being regularly trapped in smaller spaces together like the car & motel rooms) and *meanwhile* we'd be following mali koa, who is also on the way to the wedding but she's a secret vampire hunter *cue dramatic music* who picks up on signs that a newborn vampire is heading the same way she is and decides to track it down along the way. the drama! the suspense! the potential! i would love love love to write this and it may be the next long(er) fic i write after i finish my monstrosity of a wip

#i have so many thoughts and feelings about lashton in that fic you have no idea #the tension btw them would be off the charts and the interal struggles for each of them would be soooo tasty #and that's not even getting into the fact that i'd get to flesh out my concepts for a world with vampires & werewolves in it #so yeah hopefully in the next five years lol #answering mail #hazel #the trash talks

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pass-the-5sauce · 2 years ago

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Yes omg! And to add to that, it makes me so soft just to think about how fondly they speak of each other. Like Ashton is so PROUD of Michael for how he stepped up to produce the album and he doesn't miss any opportunity to talk about it. And Michael cannot stand the thought of Ashton not feeling a part of the band, so he has to remind him at any chance he gets how important Ashton is to the band. Like, the band was only a band once Ashton joined! And Michael needs him to understand that. Michael was the one who chose Ashton, after all! He was the one who texted him at 3 am to ask if he wanted to play drums for them. That was Michael, because he KNEW Ashton was the right person even before they'd even met.

They had to put work into their friendship, but they love each other deeply and will support each other through anything. Like, Michael road-tested Ashton's candles with him on tour and then posted about them! And this birthday post Ashton made for Michael just makes me so soft, like... Like he needed Michael to know how much he's loved, especially after the year that was 2020. And the way Michael supported Superbloom (because of course he did), like just this little interaction between them is just so cute and pure 🥺 They never hesitate to tell each other how proud they are of each other and how much they love each other and they call each other brothers and it's just all so so beautiful. I fucking love Mashton.

Okay no but @pass-the-5sauce mashton poll has me in my feels (you can check the tags there) so I'm gonna ramble. Mashton is hands down the most underrated duo within the band and that drives me insane because they are fucking fascinating???? I don't think they would be friends without the band and I think they didn't have as natural as a connection as cashton or lashton but i think that the fact that they had to work on their relationship makes them so !!!!!!!! Because like, they are opposite ends of the same spectrum in some ways and it shouldn't work but they wanted it to work, so it does. Opposite ends of the battery at it's finest. And it's crazy cuz you watch stuff of them during the self titled era because they had full conversation without saying a single word, they tend to get a but chaotic but they have an understanding going between them that's insane??? Also talking self titled era they wrote 9 out of 34 songs we got during that. Including she looks so perfect. Like, hello????? And they have so many little moments happening that are just soft??? And not just stuff like the massage gun, or the msg hug, with like physical affection, but they way they talk about each other, the way they look at each other, the way they're both so quick to stop the other when they start talking down on themselves. The way Ashton can get Michael body slamming into a table over how hard he's laughing, the way they gravitate to each other when they need to *judging intensifies* but they can't say it out loud. Like they have a SOLID friendship that comes from wanting to be friends that has them settled into the level of mutual respect and love and fondness that's just !!!!!!!!!!! My tag for them is my comfort idiots are fond of each other for a reason.

#sorry for the long rambling but i didnt wanna put all that in the tags #theyre just so #i just love them so much #mashton

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5sos-fic-exchange · 2 years ago

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Now that all fics for the summer 2022 exchange have been posted, I thought it’d be fun to take a look at some stats for this round and the exchange as a whole! If you want to know how many total words were posted for this exchange, the distribution of pairings, and a few other miscellaneous facts, keep reading below!

Fics for the summer 2022 round of the exchange can be found HERE, and previous exchange fics can be found HERE.

14 fics were posted for this exchange, making it our second-largest one yet! Four writers had never participated in the exchange before, while two have participated in all of them up to this point. Everyone had just under two months between receiving their assignment and posting day.

161,495 words were posted for this exchange! For context, this is more words than are in The Two Towers by JRR Tolkien (156,198). Across all four exchanges, there has been a total of 758,288 words posted! This is more than the entire Lord of the Rings series including The Hobbit (576,459). This is also more than the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer (587,246).

The fics for this round range from 2,605 words to 27,244 words, ensuring that there’s a wordcount for everyone!

The most common pairing for this round was a tie between lashton and mashton! Both pairings had 4 fics written for them. Cashton had the least amount for this round, given that there were no cashton fics. There were 2 cake fics, 2 ot4 fics, 1 malum fic, and 1 muke fic.

Over all four rounds of the exchange, there have been the most fics written for lashton, totaling 17 of the 54 posted fics, or 31.5%.

This round, the fic ratings were as follows:

General: 1 Teen: 9 Mature: 1 Explicit: 3

Across all rounds of the exchange:

General: 2 Teen: 36 Mature: 7 Explicit: 9

As you can see, teen is clearly the most common rating for exchange fics!

Word counts over all four rounds of the exchange were distributed as follows:

1k-4k: 3 fics 4k-12k: 27 12k-25k: 19 25k+: 5

The majority of writers tend to write something between 4,000 and 25,000 words for this exchange! That could be a reflection on writer and/or reader preference, or on the two month timeframe.

Overall, the exchange continues to produce a variety of fics when it comes to pairing, rating, and length. Hopefully this trend will continue in the future!

#mod note #summer 2022 #for all the numbers people out there :)#my graph and math people

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lukemichaelcalumashton · 3 years ago

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I'm feeling some type of way about how none of these are pre-2018... like an oof type of way. they can't have never hugged before that, did they just like. never do it in front of people???? did they use to hug so rarely that it never got caught on camera?? i don't even know what my thoughts about it are but i'm very 🙂🙂 -taylor

I think i said 2018. i meant 2016, but now that i think about it we only got the msg one in 2016 and then that was it. now it seems they hug left and right and aaaaa okay bye

@squishmichael hi hello why are you coming to me with mashton emo thoughts i didn't ask for this (though maybe i did by bringing back that post oops anyways ily <3)

i'm feeling some kind of way about this too because where are the pre-2016 mashton hugs?? the 2016-2018 mashton hugs?? they had to have hugged y'know. and i'm just thinking about how many hug footage there is of, say, malum hugging since the start and yeah, i know you can't compare the familiarity between malum and mashton but there are plenty of cake and muke hugs and touches over the years too! but this is ashton and we know ashton isn't (wasn't?) very touchy and cuddly. we still got touches, like mashton holding hands, the "it's brotherly" thing, michael nuzzling against ashton's neck which interestingly enough were all started by michael as opposed to their hugs which are initiated by ashton. and like many people have said this is probably a way for ashton to control the hug, when it starts and when it ends, how long it lasts for.... and that makes me think (and cry) about how all these hugs have happened because ashton wanted them.

the 5sos show hug is a perfect painful example. he waits patiently for malum to have their hug, waits for michael to be free to open his arms wide so michael and him can hug. he wanted his hug and he got it. and it's such??? a soft hug???? the way he leans his head on michael's shoulder and whispers something to him. the way michael keeps their feet a little apart so he doesn't step on ashton's foot??? okay. 🥺

there's not much to be said about the complete mess bts video because we don't get to see a lot of what happens before or after it but it's important because this is touchy ashton, this is 5sos5 ash and he's in his loving touchy era. he might have hugged all the boys here, he cradled calum against him while working on their scenes... just. Touchy.

and then the side hug from the dublin show that's not even a hug but deserved to be on that post because well. because it's my post and i said so fjskdjs all i can say about it is that they're both sweaty, they're both gross but that doesn't stop them. michael is stepping on ashton's foot but that doesn't matter, neither of them pulls back, they're happy! they're back! they're proud and excited to be sharing this with each other again! i cry

sigh i'm pretty sure i had a point and i lost it in this sea of mashton feelings fjskdjs but the bottom line is. we hadn't gotten a mashton hug since 2018 and now we got three in the span of four months??? probably will be getting more as tour continues??? and those are just the ones that we see because i wholeheartedly believe that ashton is hugging his friends behind the scenes too. this is a man who has grown comfortable with hugging and touching and now he can't stop. and i, for one, love that for him!!!! (and for us!)

#taylor i hope you enjoyed this nonsense ramble about msshton dhfjshdj love you 🖤#i was typing this when you sent me the mashton hip touch from last night which made this a whole lot worse #sigh i love mashton so much and i just spent the whole bus ride to work thinking about them im ~fine~#mashton #taylor #ask

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chamaleonsoul · 2 years ago

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Your post about the eras and the parrings is interesting because most people seem to answer muke for self titled, myself included, but like, mashton wrote half the album, that clip on the video they are talking about the songs that they look at each other and go "this one is us again" and high-five alone should make the era mashton ososkspskpsl

nooo i knowww. anna our brains are really connected bc i thought of the exact same mashton moment while making the post jsjs. And not long after i posted i was still thinking about it and i thought: well, pre self titled is muke because they were the ones who started it all, the making of the album is in fact mashton and then the era per se, for me, is malum because of the vocals particularly

but it's also interesting to see how we all think 5sos5 is ot4<3 (and of course, at their core every era is ot4)

#asks #anna<33

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ashesonthefloor · 3 years ago

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hello loves! my long awaited Halloween fic masterlist! I meant to make a new image but did not have time, so I updated last year's

(I also did not have time to finish my fic for this event, which will hopefully come sometime soon. I’m 3/4s finished but university is…not being so kind). without further ado, here are all the fics by my lovely writers!

if you were not here last year, I wrote a list of prompts yet again, and everyone was assigned a ship and then got to choose a prompt to write for them!!! very fun, very fancy! here you go:

OT4:

(coming soon), by me

Malum:

I see the stars in the eyes of a vampire by @werewolfashton

“Calm down, it’s only fake blood” ao3 found here

Muke:

I Put A Spell On You by @pixiegrl

“Look, I’m really not supposed to make love potions except for special occasions. Why do you want one so bad anyway?” Or, one person is a witch that specializes in love potions. The other person really, really wants one for reasons untold. ao3 found here

Cashton:

black coffee and sulfur by @allsassnoclass

“You’re kind of cute. What are you doing here? Oh, shit, you’re who I’m supposed to be hunting? Fuck.” Or, one person is a ghost/demon. The other is a ghost/demon hunter. Shenanigans ensue. ao3 found here

Mashton:

(if) we’re meant to, I’ll meet you there by @squishmichael

“I’ve hated you for five hundred years. That isn’t going to stop now. Except…maybe I can admit you’re a little hot. Sometimes.” Or…enemies to lovers, but both people are immortal. ao3 found here

Cake:

éclatant by @kaleidoscopeminds

"I know you don't believe in magic but one day you're gonna fuck with the wrong thing and its going to-- what was that?" ao3 found here

we can be pirates by @clumsyclifford

“I’m not afraid of you” ao3 found here

#if i somehow missed someone PLEASE immediately let me know #i checked through my tags and messages #also sorry its like a week and a half late i am.....ahhhhhhhh #5soshalloweenevent2021 #5sos fic #5sos fanfiction

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allsassnoclass · 1 year ago

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hello, Hazel!

how about "let's go out for a cheap dinner" ft. mashton for the prompts?<3

hi ana! thanks for requesting!

mashton: "Let's go out for a cheap dinner"

Michael covers his face with his hands and groans, as loud as he can. It echoes slightly in the empty theater, or maybe he just thinks it does because his hands are creating an echo chamber, but either way it's equally as satisfying as it isn't.

"Mood," Luke says. Michael turns his head to look at him, sitting in the second row of the audience with his feet propped up on the chair in front of him, Sierra nodding sagely beside him. It looks like an uncomfortable position for someone of his size, but laying on his back on the hard, disgusting wooden stage isn't as comfortable for Michael as it could be, so he's not going to say anything.

"They should've done Beauty and the Beast," Calum repeats for the fiftieth time since they all began working on this production nearly two months ago.

"Or Shrek. Or Spongebob. Or Sound of Music. Or literally any other family-friendly musical besides fucking Mary Poppins," Michael agrees, just like he has every other time.

When he applied for the job to direct Mary Poppins at a community theater this summer, it had seemed like a good idea. Being partially-funded through Community Education, he was told that they would have full access to the theater, scene shop, and costume shop at the high school, as well as some additional rehearsal spaces there. The board of directors seemed really excited to dive into a family show after producing some more mature musicals in the previous years, and he got to hire the production staff, meaning he could ensure that he works with his friends this summer. He knew that Mary Poppins is a difficult show from basically every standpoint: the music is complex, the dance numbers are big, there's an inconvenient amount of settings, and Mary Poppins does magic at about 12 different points in the script, including flying across the stage. Still, Michael had been optimistic.

Michael had been a fucking idiot.

This has been, to put it plainly, the most frustrating directing experience Michael has ever had. The theater was a new build from five years ago, but apparently the blueprints have since been lost and no one at the school knows the measurements of the space. He keeps trying to negotiate with different flight companies so they can rent equipment, hire a trainer, and have Mary actually fly across the stage, but most of them are appalled at the quick turnaround and all of them need some sort of measurement of the space, not to mention that Michael has to wait for permission from Community Education before he can solidify a deal. Every time he thinks they have it, the school finds some sort of issue that takes him three days to smooth over, at which point they find another one, then later another one.

Administration doesn't seem to understand anything about urgency, because the production staff didn't get their contracts until a month after rehearsals began, so now everyone is scrambling to get things done, and they still don't know what the set will look like because they don't know if Mary will be flying or if they have to find some other way to imply that she is.

That doesn't even scratch the surface. The stage has dried gum on it but the custodians won't let them mop, let alone paint the stage so it actually looks nice and fresh instead of ugly and chipped. They don't have keys to the catwalk. They only just got keys to the booth tonight, and Matt and Roy spent all rehearsal up there trying to figure out how the sound and lights are set up, because it doesn't follow logic. The electrics aren't weighted, which could kill someone, but the weight station is a floor above and the door is padlocked. Michael has already requested a key, but he requested a key to the catwalk two months ago and still doesn't have it.

There's no dressing rooms, no backstage space, and no hallway behind the stage to cross from one side to the other unseen. Michael figures all of those are problems for tech week, but tech week is very quickly approaching, which is why Michael is currently laying on the stage having a mental breakdown two hours after rehearsal ended.

His phone buzzes. He checks it, exhaling when he sees who is texting him.

"Can someone let Ashton in?" he requests.

Someone, probably Roy, heaves a sigh and gets up. Michael stares up at the electrics and wonders if he can sue the school if one of the lights falls and lands on him.

"Well, this is pitiful," Ashton says a few moments later. Michael holds up his middle finger. Ashton probably looks lovely, even for this late at night, and looking at him will probably make Michael feel incrementally better, but he's decided to let himself wallow and therefore refuses to so much as glance at him.

"Come on, what was your win of the day?" Ashton asks. He started asking this after the second week, when Michael came home and told him that every day with this production feels like getting one win, then fifteen losses. The win is usually that the actors have learned something new. The losses are typically everything else.

"We got access to the booth," Matt offers. "Nothing in there is set up, but we have access, so Roy and I can actually start our jobs."

Michael gives a thumbs up.

"Hey, that's great! Is there anything else that you need to solve here tonight, or can I take your fearless leader home?"

Michael holds up his middle finger again. There's a beat of silence, then Calum's voice, holding all of the authority he needs as a stage manager.

"There's nothing else we can do tonight. Let's all go home."

Michael listens to everyone gather their things and put the theater back to some semblance of order. Something blocks the lights overhead, and Michael squints until the silhouette solidifies into Ashton, looking down at him. He really looks good, even when Michael is looking at him from the most unfortunate angle. He's wearing a bandana to keep his curls contained, something which he started doing again this summer, and his shirt is sleeveless, giving Michael a fantastic view of his arms. Michael really likes those arms.

Ashton holds out a hand. Michael drags a sigh up from the depths of his soul and takes it.

"What do you want to eat?" Ashton asks as he's hauling him up and Michael is doing his best imitation of a rag doll.

"We have no food at home. I do not want peanut butter and jelly."

"Let's go out for a cheap dinner," Ashton suggests. Michael rolls his eyes and slumps against him.

"I do not want McDonald's for the third time this week, and there's no where else near us open this late."

"I was researching and found a 24/7 diner about half an hour away. That'll give you enough time to vent and relax, and you'll probably get to sleep just as early as you would if we went home and you watched Netflix."

Michael considers, enjoying the feeling of Ashton's arm around him, supporting his weight. Ashton is always a fantastic combination of solid and soft, which makes him the perfect person to hug.

"I have a playlist ready," Ashton says. "No Mary Poppins on it at all."

"Twist my arm, why don't you," Michael concedes. Ashton ushers him off the stage to gather his backpack, script, and numerous writing utensils that have escaped their case. Calum has already stolen his keys to lock up, and by the time he turns out the lights and the group heads to the parking lot, Michael is feeling marginally more like a functional person.

"Come on, in you go," Ashton says after they call goodbyes to the rest of the staff, holding Michael's door open for him. The show must be taking a noticeable toll on him tonight if Ashton is babying him this much, but Michael is pretty lazy and isn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth right now.

Michael doesn't know what he'd do without Ashton, honestly. Between juggling his day job, rehearsals, production meetings, and all of the administrative bullshit that has unexpectedly come with this show, Michael barely finds time to exist, let alone eat and sleep and drink water. Ashton is the one who ensures that those needs are met, picking him up from production meetings once he deems that they've gone on long enough if Michael doesn't call before then, making meals that will be good reheated when he has time and scoping out places for them to get food when everything else is closed. He offers a patient ear when Michael needs to rant and practical solutions when he can, and Michael is man enough to admit that he would have fallen apart by now without the knowledge that there is someone who is in his corner and who will still love him if the production goes to shit.

"Hey," he says once Ashton starts the engine, his phone already hooked up to the car and an acoustic pop punk song beginning to play over the speakers. "I love you."

Ashton smiles at him, reaching out and tucking a lock of Michael's hair back, letting his fingers trail down Michael's cheek after. Michael closes his eyes, savoring the sensation.

"I love you, too," Ashton says warmly. "Now let's get some food in you. You can tell me all about the school's latest bullshit on the way there."

Michael sighs and presses back against his seat, looking out the window at the dark. quiet town around them. He starts talking, and Ashton listens attentively the entire time, even when Michael can tell from his clenched jaw and furrowed brow that he's angry on his behalf. Once Michael has gotten it all out of his system, he lets Ashton distract him with talk about his own day over a plate of pancakes and some bacon.

With Ashton's ankle hooked around his under the table, it's the most relaxed Michael has felt all day.

"Thank you," Michael says before they pay the bill. He means it for more than just the food, Ashton understands. He always does.

"I love you," Ashton says in reply, like it's an explanation.

Michael takes the last bite of his pancakes from the tiny diner that Ashton found to ensure that Michael eats well, and knows with certainty that he can make it through anything with Ashton by his side.

#my writing #mashton #ask box prompt #YES i was projecting. yes these were all real issues with our production i choreographed/assistant directed #however i think that the fact that i wrote at all is a big big big win!!!!#this is the 4th thing i've posted this year. at all. since january.#but we're vibing now!!!!#also i didn't think of this until i finished this version but i totally could've made this about vampires for you ana #like. ''let's go out for a cheap dinner'' that's vampire flirting for let's go kill some people #but no matter! what's done is done!#i already wrote a vampire thing this year so it's fine #chameleonsoul #ana

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5sosfanfictioncatalogue · 10 months ago

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Michael/Ashton (3) Masterlist

part one, part two

a little extra credit never hurt anybody - @sup3rbloom (haveufoundwhaturlookingfor) T, 4k

Summary: Michael and Ashton used to be best friends when they were younger, unfortunately Michael ditches Ashton for popularity when they get older. Things change when Ashton gets offered extra credit to tutor a failing student. That student so happens to be Michael Clifford.

are we something to each other (or are we just blowing smoke?) (ao3) - bellawritess T, 10k

Summary: A startled laugh escapes Michael, and he gently pushes against Ashton’s chest, though his hand lingers as if for a moment he considers holding Ashton in place instead. “You’re lame. And you’re not kissing me like that in front of your friends. I’m a respectable fake boyfriend, I don’t believe in gratuitous PDA.”

Gotta Be Cruel to be Kind (ao3) - fourdrunksluts E, 26k

Summary: "It’s just for a date or two." Calum sounds exasperated despite Michael's excuse being perfectly valid. "Ashton’s hot."

"Ashton’s a shrew," he corrects, voice biting. "I’m not going to… to tame him, or whatever, just so you can convince some twink to go on a mediocre date with you."

The fandom required 10 Things I Hate About You fic.

He Drove Away The First of September, But I Remember (ao3) - senioritastyles G, 6k

Summary: "Hi." He calls, catching the cute worker's attention.

The worker looks up and fumbles around to put his phone away, his face awestruck as he looks at Ashton. "Uh, hi."

There's an awkward moment of silence as they both stare at each other, the sounds of the carnival fading into the background and Ashton feels his heart leap when the boy smiles. He's got on tight black skinny jeans and a Metallica t-shirt, his waist surrounded by what looks like a combination of a fanny pack and an apron. Ashton knows it's probably full of money and tickets even though no one is approaching is the booth to play, and he can't help but smile back at the boy. He's completely stricken by the boy's beauty, mesmerized by the enticing features and pale skin.

Or: Michael and Ashton meet right before Ashton has to go back to school.

It's something unpredictible, but in the end it's right (I hope you'll have the time of your life) (ao3) - orphan_account G, 4k

Summary: The 5SOS boys are babysitting a real life, small, fat, tiny, cute, little, useless, defenceless, and adorable baby. Oh dear.

"Just a bunch of fucking hocus pocus." (ao3) - pxnkspace M, 15k

Summary: It's just another boring Halloween night where Ashton has to babysit his brother and sister and miss out on the biggest party of the year. Until he manages to sneak out and bump into this strange boy he keeps seeing. Ashton doesn't believe in the supernatural. But after lighting the black flamed candle, the whole town is in for a hell of a night.

life is never like this (ao3) - merlypops T, 24k

Summary: The war is over and Ashton finds it hard to carry on until he meets Michael. Life goes on for Luke and Calum.

Mashton: Undercover (ao3) - HPFangirl71 M, 2k

Summary: When kisses undercover lead to something more....

Oh Christmas Lights, Keep Shining On (ao3) - allsassnoclass (brightblackholes) T, 3k

Summary: Michael and Ashton have won their town's Winter Decoration Competition for the past two years. This year, their new neighbors are going to give them a run for their money.

Playing With Chemistry (ao3) - fourdrunksluts E, 17k

Summary: It’s the busiest week of the year at the escape room Ashton manages, and it’s hard enough without Michael Clifford tempting him at every turn.

Rather Be a Riot Than Indifferent (ao3) - reversecow E, 10k

Summary: Michael Clifford hates Ashton Irwin. He's hated him ever since Ashton bumped into him without apologizing on the first day of his third year of university. He hates him more every time they interact, which is why it doesn't mean a thing that the soul marks inked all over Ashton's body match up so well with Michael's. Because there's no way the universe hates him that much.

-----

A University AU where Michael is stubborn and no matter what anyone else thinks, Ashton is absolutely not his soulmate.

Still Turning Out (ao3) - azsthztxc T, 11k

Summary: “He disappeared because what he does is run,” Calum corrects. “You freeze. He runs. You’re both incredibly opposite, but the same—you both keep thinking you can just escape the future and your problems. Guess what? No amount of staying in place or refusing to, is going to let you know more about yourself if you don’t let yourself be known.”

Temptation (ao3) - Maluminspace E, 5k

Summary: Michael is about to start his first term teaching at Hogwarts. Ashton tries to help build his confidence...

the future with you - @sup3rbloom (haveufoundwhaturlookingfor) T, 2k

Summary: Ashton and Michael have a disagreement when Valentine's Day is just around the corner. Ashton and Michael have never fought in the six years that they've been together. It's a horrible time for everyone involved.

there's glitter on the floor after the party - @sup3rbloom (haveufoundwhaturlookingfor) T, 1k

Summary: The aftermath of Michael and Ashton's first new year's eve party as a married couple.

Twice As Much Isn't Twice As Good (ao3) - FayeHunter T, 1k

Summary: Michael's pretty sure this much coffee can't be good for the cute law student coming into the coffee shop

we were just two kids thrown into the flames - @sup3rbloom (haveufoundwhaturlookingfor) T, 8k

Summary: Ashton Irwin's name is picked during the reaping for the 75th Hunger Games. Unfortunately, so is his little brother Luke. But then, Michael Clifford is volunteering for his brother. Ashton has to figure out how to make sure he stays alive, but the love of his life also stays alive.

wherever I am, I’ll come running (ao3) - nothingliketherain (39_killer_queen) T, 4k

Summary: If he’s being honest, Ashton doesn’t know what to do either. Out of Michael’s closest friends he’s the only one who doesn’t have a dog, the least likely to have a vet on speed dial, the least likely to have something like this happen to him before. But instead of calling Luke or Calum for help, he called Ashton.

Because if there’s one thing Ashton does know how to do is take care of Michael.

#5sosfanfictioncatalogue #5sos fanfic #5sos #5 seconds of summer #mashton #michael clifford #ashton irwin #mashton masterlist

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clumsyclifford · 3 years ago

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2021 Writing Self-Evaluation

thank youuu @allsassnoclass i fucking LOVE this idea i am going to say SO many things rn i am so excited.

prefacing this by saying i’m only counting the stuff i posted to bellawritess because i do have a different ao3 account where i post All My Other Fic Writing but (1) i don’t use it nearly as much now that i’m so focused on the rpf stuff and (2) don’t wanna doxx myself lol. so yeah! onward.

edit after finishing this: to absolutely no one’s surprise, i was about as long-winded as humanly possible on every single question i could. so i’ll put a cut and you can read my silly little musings underneath it if you like.

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 88 fics, apparently!! that’s everything i wrote in 2021, both prompt fics and... normal fics? idk what you would call those.

2. Word count posted for the year: clocking in at a whopping 351,552 words for the year. yeesh. get a life woman.

3. Fandoms I wrote for: 5sos, all time low, and one direction.

4. Pairings: oh boy. from most to least according to ao3: jalex, malum, lashton, cake, merrikat, rilex, cashton, muke, mashton, 5sos ot4, and 1d ot5, plus also a handful of friendship fics.

5. Story with the most Kudos/Bookmarks/Comments: i really appreciate that these are all questions i can use ao3 features to find the answers for. thank you to whoever made this ask game. ANYWAY.

for kudos, unsurprisingly, you seem so damn familiar takes top spot. that one also has the most comments (quelle surprise) and the 2nd most bookmarks. most bookmarks actually goes to and it all makes sense to me, the ot5 fic!! that’s so fun i love that. also, simply because it makes me happy, i’m sharing that the 2nd most comments/comment threads i guess goes to fever dream high in the quiet of the night, aka cruel summer fic.

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): i mean, it’s hard not to say you seem so damn familiar. that’s the obvious answer, but i am hella proud of it. i mean, 40k in ten days, and look how fucking good it is!!!!!! also i did kind of forget about the ot5 fic but i’m proud of that one too because i wrote it for @mastasof-ravenkroft for his birthday but i did the stupid thing where i forgot to start writing it til like. the day before. or NIGHT before. and so i essentially just binge wrote the whole thing, but it was a fic i had wanted to write for a long time and i actually wrote it exactly how i wanted it to be, PLUS it’s a 5+1 which is maybe my favorite fic format, AND it’s an ot5 fic, which i’ve never done. and it turned out really really nice actually. so yes, very proud of that one. i don’t know if i should stop because this question only asks for one or if i should keep listing them because honestly i deserve it.

i’m really proud of the friendship fics i wrote, but probably most proud of the first one, dearly depressed and brokenhearted (i’d like to let you know that boys cry too). that was a bit of a breakthrough moment for me and adri’s review of it lives rent free in my brain. so many songfics i finally managed to get out of my brain and into words, i’m proud of all of those. omg godlight fic? the good grace of that godlight, the weird ass luke hemmings time travel thing?? that was such a strange writing undertaking, and it ended up exactly how i wanted it. basically every time i finally got words down for an idea i’d been having and they were exactly the right words to make the exact fic i wanted, i count those as the biggest victories. ahhh the jewish cake kitchen fic i wrote for meg’s birthday, it’s so simple, was another example of that, plus i LOVED getting to write more jewish cake, and i feel like i absolutely captured my love of kitchens in that fic. also i NEED to include cruel summer fic here because. to date still one of the best fics ive ever written.

wait i thought of one more jesus christ im so sorry can you tell i love my own writing?? no but seriously, taylor @squishmichael asked me for a fic based on therapy and so i wrote keeping this up could be dangerous and i really AM proud of that one, because when they asked me for that fic i thought to myself jesus christ how am i going to capture the feeling of the song therapy. and then i started writing and like. i think i actually captured it so well. and some of the metaphors in that fic are just...mmmmmmmmmm.

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): LMAO okay fine ill do this. but it’s not that i’m not proud of these just that i think if i wrote them now i would do a better job. the fic i wrote based on taxi, two punch-drunk souls all tangled in the wind, i would change a lot of that dialogue. i was really concerned with making it sound as close to what john the maine says in the song, but in retrospect that was a dumb thing to try and do, considering no one fuckin talks the way john the maine says people talk. also crazy is what i like, the one based on all my friends by tss, because...i don’t know it was just a very interesting choice of song to try and make a fic. like it has such a vivid story but i don’t think it was exactly the kind of story that should have been written by me. like i think for example anna could have probably done a more loyal job of it. and i don’t know. i sat on that fic for a while because i thought it was kind of strange. so yeah. i love both of those fics very much but yknow. asked and answered.

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received: the comment adri left me on dearly depressed and brokenhearted. i think about it all the fucking time. it drives me to write more friendship fics. genuinely. honestly this is an embarrassing thing to admit but i forget the majority of the comments i receive once i’ve replied to them. it’s nice to go through comments on my fics and reread them though, because i don’t remember getting them!! hmm team @4thbrighteststar has said several times on multiple fics of mine that she would sometimes read a scene that made her want to act it out, and that landed really well with me. that always makes me happy. also every time she’d comment PSYCHHH MAJORRRR on yssdf, because yes i am.

and taylor had a really cool response to the godlight fic which maybe i’m not allowed to exactly explain what it was, but it was awesome.

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: SPRING FIC EXCHANGE. YEEEEEEEEEEEEESH. so first of all i was juggling first schoolwork and then working at camp, and second of all, noah i say this with love but your fic preferences form thing was VERY contradictory and made it so hard to settle on a fic plot. or even to come up with one. essentially i was trying to write a fic that had all of the tropes of a fluffy fic, but make it angst. and also, i was not in a headspace for writing angst, cos you know how that kinda thing comes and goes, so it was twice as hard!!! and when i got to camp i’d be exhausted and working all day and then be done at like. eleven or midnight and then. have to somehow find time to write fic exchange fic. it was. difficult. i did finish it a week late and i am still sorry about that but honestly i’m surprised it was only a week. that somehow feels like a win to me considering what that fic put me through lmao

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: oh hell i feel like this happens to me so often but for some reason now that you’ve asked i am blanking on every single instance. oh! well i wrote this fic, who knew we were lightning? (i saw a spark before we heard any sound), and it was supposed to be a jack-centric fic based on jack and his relationship with guitars throughout the years or whatever. but then out of absolutely nowhere it became a jalex fic, which i guess shouldn’t surprise me but did. i didn’t hate it but it did blindside me. also, godlight fic completely surprised me mostly because it was one of those times where i thought “hey, hypothetically this song would be such an interesting fic” and then thought “nah but i’ll never actually write that” and then i wrote it that same day. another time that happened was with i can’t focus when you’re with me (i can’t sleep when i’m alone), the one that happened as a result of me having the chorus of XO stuck in my head. AND last answer: give me the worst of you (worst of you songfic). fic about a very unhealthy relationship, featuring jack barakat the toxic boyfriend. very unexpected writing venture on my part. although i’m more surprised that i posted it, tbh, because it was supposed to just be an exercise to see if i could write something like that, and i didn’t plan to post it, and then now here we are.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing: okay so realistically i would just paste all 88 fics i posted in 2021 here, but obviously im. not doing that. so i’m gonna go with a piece of and it feels like i’m losing you twice, the sex (with my ex) songfic, because i got distracted in the middle of answering these questions just to reread that fic and MAN it slaps. here:

If they’ve both misunderstood the assignment then maybe they got the wrong assignment. Maybe they were never supposed to be friends. Maybe Jack’s hand on Alex’s knee and Alex’s gaze caught on Jack’s mouth is a spark that lights fireworks rather than land mines. Something beautiful rather than something destructive.

If they’re gonna explode either way, they may as well make it art.

i’m just gonna say it: that land mine metaphor KICKED ASS. i don’t know when i got to be so good at metaphors i’m pretty sure it was a super intentional effort in this fic but it paid off.

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: oh man! well as previously mentioned i think i became a lot better at like...intentional metaphors and trying to vary the ones i make. also i learned the importance of a little bit of conflict in a plot and i did a lot of exploring different kinds of relationships between people, rather than just happy easy romance. that was really good for me to do. i think it helped me to write more realistic relationships than i had been. and maybe circling back to the plot thing but i sort of realized that there’s only so much you can do without conflict, cos then you just have a bunch of scenes, basically. and when there’s a driving thing in a story it means that the scenes are all leading up to something and that helps to guide the story and honestly makes writing easier a lot of the time. so those are some things!

13. How do you hope to grow next year: see #12! no actually i think i want to be better at showing and not telling. right now i’m kind of in the middle, i think i do a lot of showing AND telling, and i want to be able to trust my audience more. meghna is really good at this. i am still working on it.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): @tirednotflirting and @reveriesofawriter sam and meghna were easily my main audience for the majority of my fics. i don’t foresee that changing. i love you guys. also of course megs @igarbagecannoteven who had to literally put up with my melodramatic bitching and complaining about every single tiny problem i had with anything i ever wrote. megs you are my favorite rubber duck. yknow i was thinking earlier about how much i agonized over the title for, what was it. oh!! the title for situation overload (do it for baltimore)!!! and then in the end all the agonizing was worth it because it caused me to land on what i think is actually a perfect title for it. so thank you for dealing with my insanity so that the rest of the world can reap the benefits i guess. everyone who ever listens to me talk about my writing in any capacity, whether gushing about how good i am at it (which i do often) or complaining about how hard and annoying it is (which i also do often) has positively influenced my writing experience.

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: many things, no conceivable way i can list them all. speaking of situation overload (do it for baltimore), that fic has a lot of pieces of my relationship with megs in it, specifically involving me getting her into baseball as best i could. i think ive mentioned this before but this jalex prompt fic you need a pick-me-up? (i’ll be there in twenty-five) has jack in a situation that is directly taken from something that happened to me, and yes it was absolutely fucking terrifying then. i projected my homesickness onto cashton in this prompt fic i’m a little kid and so are you (don’t you go and grow up before i do), and also the thing about lauren’s gerbils from this lashton fic for jess, you should know i’ll be there for you, is based on what happened to my younger sister’s gerbils. luke’s insecurities about his friends liking his siblings better in maybe this is just as good as it gets is straight out of a younger bella’s headspace (fortunately not something i worry about anymore now that we, yknow, go to different schools and are super different people and both adults, but ya know). to name a few.

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: i am going to be brief because i got asked for writing advice earlier this year and wrote an essay basically, but it boils down to this: like what you write. if you don’t like what you’re writing, write it differently! write something new! write something no one else will read, so you don’t feel like you have to cater to anyone else! but seriously, write something that you can enjoy, because if even you don’t like the art you’re creating, you can’t expect anyone else to. if you can’t stand in front of a council and say “you will enjoy reading this because [x]” (if you can’t even say “because i liked reading it”).......you’re losing your most reliable audience member. be proud of what you create! don’t compare your successes to the successes of other writers! everyone has different goals, writes at different rates, prioritizes differently, prefers different tropes and types of fics. actually yeah i feel strongly about this. don’t compare yourself to other writers. you are your own writer doing your own thing. ask for help, take inspiration, set goals for yourself that are valuable to you, but don’t compare. if you try to become a writer that already exists, no one wins. you know that cheesy but very true oscar wilde quote? if it is even him? be yourself, everyone else is already taken? yeah. write your own stories, everyone else is already writing theirs. or something. you know what i mean. it was funny when i said i was going to be brief here. okay getting off my soapbox now. thanks for having me on tedx.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: oh!! yes!!! many!!!!!! oh what a fun question!!!!! i am still working on summer camp au but i recently picked it back up and wrote an important section of it so i’m cautiously optimistic that i can finish that sometime soon-ish and then can start posting it which would be very nice because i already miss having a chapter fic to update, and i think people are going to really like it. also there is the [redacted] fic which is SO funny and which will be finished and posted soon and i literally cannot fucking wait, i have kept this silly crack pairing a secret for so long and the fic has some of my funniest most entertaining writing but i can’t SHARE any of it without SPOILING it so i’m really looking forward to putting that into the world at long last.

beyond that there’s a jalex 5+1 that i’m hoping to finish (it is currently about halfway done), and i’m planning to write the long awaited (by me) elevator fic at some point, once i...decide what i’m going to write for it. i’ve got one more installment of tshirt jalex in the works, involving middle school band teacher alex gaskarth, and i think that one is going to be really fun once i finish it. oh oh also! this one fic from a prompt fiancee sent me (do you have time to hold on with me), it’s a lashton fic but i wrote jalex into it for funsies and i made alex nonbinary and ever since then i have just been thinking about he/they alex gaskarth forever and ever. i want to write more of them so bad. so like. maybe we will see some nb alex content sooner or later, hopefully.

and i know paige and meghna want me to write ocallakarth and ill admit im letting it sit in the back of my mind but i make no promises considering the existence of the [redacted] fic and other various factors. but it could be a fun exercise.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read. okay!! yes!! @tirednotflirting @reveriesofawriter @cringeycal @kaleidoscopeminds @igarbagecannoteven and also anyone else who sees this and wants to! if you read all the way to the bottom of this post then i feel like you deserve a tag so consider yourself tagged lmao. love you all, happy new year <3

#stuff #tag games #fic talk #if i manage to ramble in these tags ill impress even myself considering how much i just fucking rambled in the post itself #boy i sure do not shut up huh #you get me talking about my own writing and i will just talk forever #but you know what at least i follow my own advice #i love what i write! i write what i love! i can vouch for my own writing because i like it SO MUCH #in fact i consistently surprise myself which how much i love my writing #and that makes me happy #you know me. always toeing the line between confidence and arrogance :)#actually i think i cracked this one the other day when we were talking about i think luke #that i think arrogance is thinking you're better than others. like thinking you're comparatively the best #while confidence is just thinking that you are good regardless of how anyone else is #WHICH DOVETAILS NICELY INTO MY SECOND PIECE OF ADVICE wow i am KILLIN IT today #ok now im going to go proofread the thing i spontaneously wrote because i cannot tell if it's any good #but i hope it is cos i wanna post something so bad #and then i will hopefully post it and then SLEEP

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ashtcnirwin · 3 years ago

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anna, fic authors self rec time. When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to other writers <3 (also i think u should put Stay on there)

uhhh....okay let’s try this🧡

not saying these are at all my best written fics, cos that’s definitely not the case with all of them, but they’re the ones i’m feeling the most right this very second, so

and i’m prefacing the list by saying that these are in no particular order cos...i don’t know how to number, i’ve never seen a number, idk how they work

cards are dealt, lashton AU, rated E, 100k

apricity, mashton AU, rated T, 23k

tidal wave, lashton non-AU, rated E, 127k

ildsjel, lashton non-AU, rated M, 4.7k

more, muke non AU, rated M, 3.9k

#stay would've made the list had it been top 10 but #wait who's already received this? who did you send it to? did you snag every 5sos writer? you did didn't you #okay no i'm actually gonna have to go ask you who you sent this to so i know who to not bother by putting it in their inbox again #thaaaank u jess🧡#ask #fic ask

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igarbagecannoteven · 3 years ago

Note

good luck on writing your novel opening! i am sending you lots of positive writing and plot vibes!!! but also i would like to know the answers to 5, 11, 12, 24, 35, 43, 54, 72, and 77! That's a lot of questions so feel free to pick and choose but i am genuinely curious about all of them -hazel

thank you for the positive vibes and good luck wishes!! they have been received and i edited and reworked the first 4.5k of the assignment! (most of it had already been edited previously, so don't be too impressed lol)

5. how many wips do you have? how many fandoms/pairings are they for? depending on what you count as a "wip", i'd say somewhere btwn 30-40ish? all 5sos pairings have more than one wip, and i've got a couple hp wips (and one doctor who drabble, but that's finished so it doesn't count)

11. do you write scenes in order or do you jump around? i usually start from what i think is the beginning at the time and then start jumping around when i either run into a wall or am inspired by something that will happen later!

12. do you outline your fics? if yes, how detailed are your outlines? how far do you stray from them? it depends! most fics i start have a general idea of how they'll go, but they rarely get an outline (unless you count one sentence in a notes app as an outline, but i don't) as for proper outlines, i have three aus (my big superhero au, we gotta make a decision's parent au, and my crazy scifi au) that have "proper" outlines, which range from extremely vague to very specific. i have yet to stray too far from any of them, but i'm also not super far along so we'll see! (my 4th of july au and my baby blue au also have docs that are vaguely outline shaped, but i'm not counting them for multiple reasons, chief among them being that they may never be written)

24. how do you choose which pov to write from? answered here!

35. what's your favorite fic you've posted? ohhh gosh. i really do love what if i'm weak (and i need you tonight?) i think it's one of my strongest writing-wise, i love the characters, it's my 2nd most popular fic,,, yeah idk i just think it's nice :))

43. is there a trope or idea you'd really like to write but haven't yet? lots! there are so many that are in wip-land, but one that hasn't even gotten a doc yet is a longer fic that's both a quarantine au and a slowburn and a fic that centers around the character's ace-ness. i've been thinking about it for a while now and i think it's something i need to sit on for a few months/years before i start it, but hopefully someday it'll be written :))

54. what's the fandom/pairing distribution of your posted fics? it's very sad :(( i've got 3 malum, 2 lashton, 1 mashton, 1 cake, 1 malum friendship fic, and no muke or cashton :(((( i can't wait to release more stuff with other pairings i don't like how unbalanced it is :((

72. what's your favorite writing compliment you've gotten? today in my creative writing class i got a very nice compliment from a classmate that made me very soft(tm). he said something like "we've talked about how great your ideas and concepts are in your story and that's true, but the real strength is the characters, who are so real and strong that they help me believe everything about this world you're building". and i just. :') i mean any compliment on my writing makes me melt but i think characters are the most important part of a story and for him to say that??? i did not propose but it was a close thing ksdjflkdsjfljsd

77. why do you enjoy writing fanfic? i like the freedom it gives me! i like that i can write characters and not have to worry about telling people what they look like or their general vibe bc they already know! (i hate describing how characters look lol it's the bane of my existence) i like the community feeling! i love how people can just comment on what they liked best and know that i'll read it! i like that so many different kinds of writing can fit under this one umbrella! i just love it!!

writer’s ask time!

#these were all wonderful questions hazel i'm really glad you decided to make this ask game :)))#hazel #answering mail

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mashtonasfuck · 3 years ago

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77 “Call me if you need anything.” with mashton? 🥺👉👈 love u!!

hi beth love u, hope u like it! 💙 as usual this ran away from me and is a 1500 word one shot 😌 send me a prompt from this list if you'd like to!

tw for panic attacks (Michael has one and Ashton talks him out of it)

Michael’s hands were shaking as he slowly dialed the phone number.

Call me if you need anything.

He tried to regulate his breathing as his finger hovered over the call button, weighing up the pros and cons in his mind.

–

The scrap of orange paper stuck on the fridge had been at the forefront of Michael's mind for days. Every morning when he rolled out of bed and into the kitchen it was just there. He hadn’t even needed to look at it to know what it said anymore.

Call me if you need anything.

The phone number was etched into Michael’s brain. He didn’t make a habit of memorising phone numbers, he only knew the important ones - his mum’s home number, Calum’s mobile number (all three of them), the pizza place three blocks away, and now this one. The one he wasn't sure he even wanted to remember.

–

He’d been in the grocery store when he’d felt the first wave of a panic attack washing over him. He’d tried to squash it down, get on with his shopping and get through the checkout before it got too bad, but by the time he’d pulled his wallet out to pay for his stuff his hands were shaking so badly that he’d dropped it twice.

“Sir, I’m sorry but I need to ask you to hurry up, I’ve got a line to get through.” The cashier was staring at him disapprovingly and Michael glanced up to see the line of people all staring at him.

“I.. uh.. forget about it.. m’sorry.” Michael grabbed his wallet and shoved it hastily into his pocket before he turned around and almost ran out of the store. He found a bench as far from the entrance as he could and collapsed onto it with his head in his hands. Michael tried to remember one of the breathing exercises Calum had taught him for moments like this, but all his brain could focus on was the people staring at him in the store. Panic bubbled up inside him and Michael let out a sob.

He couldn’t even buy groceries by himself.

“...you need to try...breathe for me okay...right here...you’re okay…”

Michael tore his head away from his hands and came face-to-face with a pair of hazel eyes looking at him worriedly. The man was crouched on the floor in front of him, grocery bags at his feet.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” The man’s voice was quiet as he spoke, “D’you think you can match your breathing to mine? Just wanna help you.”

Michael’s eyes widened as the man spoke and he instinctively pulled the sleeves of his hoodie over his hands before nodding slightly. The man smiled gently at him before continuing.

“M’kay, what we’re gonna do is breathe in for three seconds, then we’re gonna hold it for three seconds, then breathe out for three seconds. Then we’re gonna keep repeating that til you calm down a bit, take as long as you need. Ready?”

Michael was still staring at the man wide eyed but nodded back at him.

“Okay, let's breathe in.. 2.. 3.. m’kay now hold.. 2.. 3.. Breathe out.. 2.. 3..”

Michael let the man’s voice wash over him with his eyes closed, focussing on following his instructions. Vaguely in the back of his mind he realised that this is what Calum usually got him to do. Michael wasn’t sure how long it was before he felt better, but eventually he opened his eyes and smiled weakly at the stranger.

“Thanks..” Michael’s voice was a barely whisper as he spoke, but the man smiled back at him brightly.

“Hi there… you’re welcome, how are you feeling now?” The stranger ran a hand through his hair as he spoke and lowered himself to sit on the floor cross legged.

“Feel better… how’d you…?” Michael’s voice faltered and he realised how dry his throat was.

“How’d I know how to help you?” Michael nodded at the man, “Had my fair share of panic attacks n’I know it’s not always easy to remember how to help yourself. D’you need some water?”

Michael slowly reached towards the bottle of the water the man was holding out to him, taking it carefully and unscrewing the lid.

“M’Ashton by the way.” The man - Ashton - flashed him a smile before continuing, “I, uh, I was behind you in the line..”

Michael paled at Ashton’s words, panic creeping back into his subconscious until he felt a strong hand on the top of his sneaker.

“Hey… it’s all good. I actually laid into that cashier after you’d left.. Fuckin’ unprofessional bastard.”

Michael glanced up at Ashton, sensing that the other man was telling him the truth.

“I, um, I also grabbed your groceries for you.. Figured you might need them. Was just gonna leave them here for you but then I saw you panicking and well… here we are.” Ashton spread his hands in front of him as he spoke, and Michael realised that the groceries in the bags were in fact his.

“Why.. why would you do that? You don’t even know me..” Good things didn’t just happen to Michael, there had to be a catch.

“Like I said, I’ve had panic attacks myself.” Ashton shrugged, “‘Sides, I like doing nice things for people, helps me feel a bit better about the world.”

Michael blinked at Ashton not quite believing what was happening. The man had paid for his groceries.

“I can pay you back, don’t have cash right now, but if you have paypal or venmo or something..” Michael’s words died in his throat as Ashton waved him away.

“Honestly don’t worry about it man. Just promise me something?” Ashton was rooting around in his jacket pocket as he spoke, pulling out a pen and a piece of paper. “If anything like this ever happens again, or anything at all, call me?”

Michael looked down at the piece of paper Ashton was holding out to him.

Call me if you need anything.

He wasn’t sure why, but he took the paper off the other man and slid it into the pocket of his hoodie, pulling out his car keys afterwards.

“Would, um, would you help me take these to my car?” Michael glanced at Ashton and then at the grocery bags on the floor, “It’s kinda far and m’not sure I can carry it all…”

Ashton stood up in one fluid movement, bending down to pick up some of the grocery bags.

“Sure thing man, lead the way.” He smiled at Michael gently, and Michael found himself smiling back.

–

Michael almost dropped the phone as the call connected and Ashton’s voice came through the speaker.

“Hi, this is Ashton.”

“Hi, um, this is…” Michael took a breath, “Um, Michael, from the uh, from the store… you said I could… call…”

“Oh! Hey man, what’s up?” Michael could hear Ashton rustling around on the other end of the line.

“I… know you said I could call if I needed anything, and m’having a bad day… only called… cuz I didn’t know what else… Calum's not answering...” Michael’s voice trailed off as he struggled to take a breath. “M’sorry, shouldn’t have bothered you….”

“Michael, it’s okay. Breathe. Where are you? Lemme come to you” Michael could hear the worry in Ashton’s voice as he spoke and he forced himself to breathe. He rattled his address off to Ashton, the other man laughing before he spoke.

“Dude, we live in the same apartment block.” Michael let out a quiet laugh, “Give me two minutes. Is your door unlocked?”

“S’a key under the doormat..”

“Y’know that’s really not very safe right? Should get one of those key safe things, I have one - you can just text people the code for it. Apartment 7, right?”

Michael hummed in agreement and heard Ashton unlocking the door before the call disconnected.

–

Ashton found Michael sitting on the kitchen floor, palms pressed to his eyes. Ashton crossed the space between them and sat on the floor beside him.

“D’you wanna talk about it?” Ashton made sure his voice was quiet as he spoke. Michael shook his head, “S’okay… d’you want anything?”

Michael glanced up at Ashton slowly before nodding.

“...hug… please?”

Ashton’s heart broke as the other man started sobbing as he pulled him into his arms.

“I’ve got you, Michael, it’s okay.”

His gaze wandered around the room, landing on a piece of orange paper stuck to the fridge. Ashton smiled softly and hugged Michael a little tighter.

Call me if you need anything.

He was really glad Michael listened to him. Ashton didn’t know what had happened to make Michael so upset, but he knew that whatever it was he’d do everything he could to make sure he looked after the man in his arms.

——————————————————————————

#thanks beth love u #will I ever have chill when it comes to mashton?#no the answer is no lol #lowkey don't think this is one of the best things I've ever written #and the dialogue feels clunky #but at least I've written something for once lol #mashton fic #mashton blurb #Michael Clifford x Ashton irwin fic #mashton 5sos #cashtonasfuck writes

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