#(the last 2 times my food went bad i kept eating it until it was Past Inedible and now my cabinet smells like bacteria 😔)

[venmondiese]

New Year's Traditions.

In New Year, you have your traditions in order to assure a good year. You eat 12 grapes, and then watch the fireworks with your loved ones. Aemond might start his own traditions, in his own way.

✧Pairing: Modern!Aemond Targaryen x Fem!Reader ✧Warnings: MDNI 18+, AFAB reader, P in V, exhibisionsm, praising kink, slight breeding kink, soft sex. ✧Word Count: 4008 ✧Author's note: hehe my first tumblr fanfic post lol, I KNOW that new year passed, but this idea came to me at 2 am after seeing the fireworks. enjoy!! ✧AO3 link: here

Aemond and you have shared many moments together. Birthdays, anniversaries, and one of your favourites was new year

It was a silly reason, to celebrate another day marked as the beginning of a new year, yet you liked how it meant a simple thing; starting a new year of your life with Aemond. And you liked that.

As Aemond hated going to his family’s mansion for these holidays, you remained in your apartment, cosy as ever and only you two. You, Aemond and Vhagar, is an old grumpy lady cat, that he adored more than everything, more than even you, you suspect sometimes. 

And you didn’t even do such a produced food this year, you ate some pretty good lasagna, with a second dish with shrimps and salad. It was nice, and it certainly was more like a fancy dinner between you two. Aemond loved to spoil you in any way he could, so every whim or idea you could have, he would make it reality. 

“Eating grapes is so stupid” Aemond says, as you pick out the grapes to leave it on a grape carefully.

“Stupid or not, I like grapes”  You state leaving the plate on the table in front of the TV. “And you are gonna eat them as well” 

“I am not” Aemond states, crossing his arms as he smirks. He was so amused by seeing you like this, worried about stupid little traditions that made no sense.

“Yes, you are. You have to eat one each time that stupid clock that you bought chimes” you say pointing at the stupid clock that he brought one day, out of nowhere, saying it was a relic from old Valyria, with little dragons details on the wood, a stupid grandfather’s clock that stood at the side of the couch, that chimes in each hour. 

At first, at night it kept you awake, and the sound was so deep, you jumped each time. So did Vhagar, annoyed by being awakened. Even at sex, when Aemond was so deep, readjusting your guts in the best of ways, his cock hitting so wonderfully inside you, and his sweet praises whispered in your ear… and the stupid clock chimes. You hated it.

“If you miss it, and do not get to eat all twelve on time, you’d have a year of bad luck” You state, wrinkling your nose teasingly. “And you can make a wish for each month”

“If it makes you happy…” He sighs, sitting on the couch, where Vhagar jumps quickly on his lap to lay there, always before you could cuddle up to him. She did it on purpose, and Aemond allowed his two girls, as he called you both, to fight over him and his attention and affections. 

“Come on, I always have done it. It is a tradition.” You say with a thoughtful nod, as you sit beside him. “And see where it ended… I am your girlfriend, and we have been together for two years now… You don’t want this one to be the last?” You ask dramatically, and he rolls his eyes as he leans his head back, but he chuckles amused.

“I have until midnight to think” He mumbles amused, moving his hand to caress your thigh sweetly. 

He has chosen the dress. He didn’t believe in the new year being something special, but if it was an opportunity to make you dress nicely, he’d take it in a heartbeat. He had his own taste when it came to your clothes, Aemond liked seeing you in special, tight dresses that made you stand out wherever you went. To brag that you were his, and he always took the time to braid your hair in the style of his ancestors, and he was meticulous about it. 

“Then you have until midnight to leave the apartment” You say in your best teasing tone, smiling smugly to him and his lips almost make a little pout.

“Don’t be like that” He says rubbing your thigh as he moves his head closer to you, still leaning on the back of the couch “At least you could grant me a goodbye sex?” He tries to plead using his best puppy eyes for teasing.

“Absolutely no” You state laughing at your little back and forth. 

Aemond was often perceived as quiet and a bit cold, at least you did the first time you met him. Little words came naturally from him, his answers were brief words and that was it. But he grew warmer as you two grew together, and he enjoyed teasing a bit too much, it amused him to no end. He just loved your reactions, and how you fought back, it was all worth it. 

He loved how you had a enmity with Vhagar, seeing who could get more affection from him, and who would he choose, sometimes he chose the cat on purpose just to get a raise out of you. He’d laugh every time, and make it up to you by eating you out like he was a starved man.

“I’ll eat the damn grapes” He mumbles smirking. “I feel like Persephone being forced to eat the pomegranate..”

“I am no Hades” You say mumbling.

“Mhm. I suppose if I eat only six of them I could live freely in the spring and summer without you?” He teases, totally amused.

“Careful. Too many jokes of leaving can break a girl’s heart” 

“I’d never break your heart” He mumbles going to hiss your chin and then your lips, almost too lazily for him. He does it gently, showing him the little pecks of his affection in your chin and lips. Aemond looks at you tenderly, as he speaks softly. You can hear the sound of the programmated count back for new year on the tv, but you look at him kissing you. “I’ll eat the grapes for you”

“Like Adam ate the apple for Eve?” You inquire, amused.

“Yes. I’ll follow you out of Eden once they expel us” He murmurs smiling, still his face close to yours, you could feel his soft breath, calm and it smells like the wine you two tasted earlier. His hand returns to rub your thigh softly, as he looks at your face as if wanting to remember each part of it, his eye moving to your tender eyes to your lips, and he has a little smile curling on his lips, involuntary, you can notice. 

“I’ll fetch the champagne” You murmur, breaking his gaze, standing up and walking to the kitchen. He hums, and sits back correctly. 

Once you are back, with two glasses and the bottle, he is caressing Vhagar’s back and moving his hand to pat slightly her bottom, which she appreciates a lot. 

“Stop spanking that ugly cat” You grumble leaving the two cups on the table in front of him.

“Jealous?” 

“No” You say looking at the hour. 23:57. Close enough. “Are you sure that we could see the fireworks through the balcony?”

“Yes. Mother said the apartment had a nice view to the Blackwater bay just nicely. We’ll watch all the fireworks from the safety and comfort of our balcony.” 

You hum, nodding a bit. “I love fireworks” You say excitedly, and Vhagar meow. “Vhagar likes them too”

“Vhagar can barely see” Aemond says in a laugh, “I’d be surprised if actually makes it to the balcony”

“You are being mean” You giggle caressing Vhagar’s furr, which she appreciates but gives you a stern look. 

“Give me a kiss before the year ends” Aemond urges looking at the clock, 23:58.

“I thought you didn’t believed in-” 

“Shut up and kiss me” He repeats, and before you respond, he leans to kiss you, moving you closer to him. Vhagar grumbles and gets off his lap, but Aemond doesn’t even notice. 

He kisses you deeply, moving his lips against your just for a bit, just enjoying the simpleness of a kiss. He doesn’t press it further, and his lips are tender against yours, soft and gentle, when he wants. His hand presses on your chin, and he swallows the slow hum that you give him. He smiles in the kiss, knowing that it couldn’t take all minutes, even if he wanted. Because you had your silly traditions, and if they made you happy…

“See? With one minute left” He says smugly. 

“How considerate is my boyfriend” You say standing up to extend him his bowl of grapes. “One each-”

“Yes” He says, groaning as he stands up. He smiles as he sees you so excited for this silly thing, eating grapes for a new year. He looks at his bowl and he has an amused smile, the things he does for love… 

As the new year strikes, the awful clock sounds for a bit, and he leans to steal a kiss from you. “Happy new year” He mumbles. 

“Happy new year” You murmur as you kiss.

After the chimes. He does as requested, just for you. He eats the grapes as the clock strikes twelve times at midnight. He has to laugh at your commitment, as the sound of people in other apartments can be heard, and you look at him smiling as you eat the twelve grapes. He does it for you, no doubt in it, just to see you smile as he eats the grapes. What he wouldn’t do for you, after all?

“See?” You say now, grapes finished just in time, and he rolls his eyes amused as he grabs Vhagar from the ground to caress her chin. You go to hug him, and mumble “Happy new year”

Vhagar meows, and Aemond laughs “See? She says happy new year too” 

“That is so silly” You say with a giggle, and you lean to kiss him sweetly, more properly this time, as you hug him. He has one hand on the small of your back, while the other still holds Vhagar. 

A little family of three, you always say, proud of being with him. He was always equally proud of you, always pampering you with love and gifts, no matter how tired he could be each day, he always came to be with you and be the doting boyfriend he always is.

“Now, shall we see the fireworks you were so eager for, hm?” He asks, smirking as your faces are close. “My sweet girl” He says softly, his adoring gaze looking at her.

You smile, and your cheeks blush a bit. He never manages to miss the chance to make you all flustered for him.

“Yeah, let’s go” You say, giving him a sweet peck on the lips, as he leaves Vhagar on the couch. 

You slide the door open for the balcony, and you can hear the loud cheers from people around, you have a nice view to Blackwater Bay, a bit far enough to see the fireworks from a nice view, and everything is already dark so the main focus was the fireworks.

Aemond lays on the balcony by your side, looking at the ground for a bit, and smirking. “I think they are about to start, do you have one of your silly traditions for fireworks too?”

“Oh, fuck off” You say pushing him a bit, and he laughs.

“It’s chilly” He comments a bit, and looks over at you in your dress “I’ll bring our jackets” He says going back to the apartment, and you remain there, looking at how the people in the streets were also expecting the pyrotechnic show. 

Aemond was right, it was a bit cold. But again, he likes to dress you up in pretty dresses. He often jokes how you are his ‘perfect doll’ and how he loves to show you off in the best makeup, dresses and hairstyles. He was just proud of it, that you allowed him to. 

“Aemond, it is starting!” You say loudly so he can hurry up, since he always takes too long for everything. 

The first fireworks start, the red explosion illuminates the darkness of the city, and you look in amazement, as a more yellow one follows. People cheer, also excited for the colours, and you hear Aemond closing the sliding door of the balcony.

“Here” He says, extending the jacket to you as he pushes Vhagar inside of the apartment. 

You thank him as you quickly put on the jacket, now looking at the purple ones exploding in a soft motion. 

“Don’t you think it is pretty?” You say to Aemond “The purple ones are better, but they don’t illuminate as good as the– Oh” 

Aemond passes his arms over your waist, hugging you from behind, and his chin is quickly pressed against your left shoulder as he snuggles into you.

“Very pretty” He murmurs.

“I mean the view” You say embarrassed. 

“Not as pretty as you” He adds smiling. 

He leans to kiss your lips, and you chuckle in his lips, as you hear more explosions from the fireworks go off, and you just know what comes next. Aemond wasn’t really subtle when he wanted you; when he wanted to devour you wholly, and now it wasn’t the exception. He did it on purpose, so you always know how much you entice him.

“Aemond, the fireworks..” You whine as he keeps insisting on kissing you. “It is only one time a year-”

“I know” He says, resigning and leaving you alone, as you leave a small kiss on his cheek as a thank you. 

The light blue explosions were quite nice, and combined with the purple ones did a pretty sight. Some minutes pass as you feel Aemond starting to kiss you neck again, slowly, but with more intention now, he wanted you and he was letting you know.

“Love-” You get interrupted by him.

“Watch your fireworks” He instructs you, moving his hands to your thighs, and he is quick to move them up as he speaks slowly to you. He moves his body a bit back, to watch yours as he does whatever he wants with you. “I’ll do my thing here…”

“We can surely do it once the show is over”

“I am afraid I cannot bear any longer. You eat grapes to celebrate a new turn in the sun, and I might start a new tradition for the new year.” He tells you, and moves your head to watch the fireworks. 

He moves his hands up, so your dress is all the way up, and accumulating in your waist, as he hums in delight. He moves your jacket to rest in your waist, anytime it could fall again. It was quick, but Aemond wanted you like he never did before.

“Anyone could see us” You say, the red firework exploding and you see the people in the street, below and so unaware of this. 

“Then let them see my pretty girl celebrating a new year” He murmurs, not caring about that. “Mmm… Red underwear. Is that another sweet tradition of yours? I think that one I might like” He teases kissing your shoulder as he pulls your underwear off. 

You feel aroused, from his sweet words and slightly more because of the embarrassment of this. Being fucked in your balcony, as the fireworks exploded in front of you, and the people around celebrated another year. As always, Aemond had to do everything in his own way, celebrating in his own way.

Hearing him undo his belt does it for you, the arousal makes your belly flutter, and you try to look back at him, but each time he pushes your head forward; watch the fireworks, it is his order.

Your hands grip a bit on the balcony railing, as you lean a bit forward, as if presenting you to him. His hands quickly go to your hips, and he leans closer to press a kiss on your neck, soft, wet kisses making their way to your jaw. 

“You are so divine like this, my sweet loving girl” He praises you slightly, his hands rubbing in circles on your hips for a few moments, you can feel his cock pressed on the curvature of your ass, and you whimper a bit impatient now. “So pretty, fuck, and all mine”

The mere thought of that drives him insane. His hand moves upfront, and he quickly finds his way to your pussy, aching and longing for him. You moan impatiently as you push your own throbbing core to his hand and fingers, and he chuckles a bit, without breath as the mere action aroused him to no end. 

“I’ll make you really wet and nice for me” He tells you, always so eloquent at the time of having sex. “You know my goals for this year? Make you my sweet wife…” He admits, moving his hand to your lower abdomen, pushing the dress to be a bit higher on your waist. He presses his hand there, his palm giving your cold body some heat. His fingers find your clit, and press against it so softly, giving you just the right stimulation to make you moan “And I’ll give you my baby, so your belly swells so full and nicely. Yeah, I’ll make you a mother… And then again, and again…” He starts rambling off a bit, his own lust talks for him, and you have to moan at these words. 

The mere thought of it makes your pussy clench in need, and you have to bite your lower lip because of it. Your head cannot properly focus on the pyrotechnic show ahead, but only in his words. You shoulder tense, and your head falls a bit as the lust is too much. You want, you need him inside. 

“Yeah, please, please…” You whine for him, wanting to get the clue and just fuck you, right there. 

“Let’s see, are you properly wet?” He says in his best smugly tone, and you know that tone. He wants to tease you.

Even if you cannot see him, the wet sounds give him away. He is fisting himself, at the sight of you, leaned in the balcony railing all at his mercy as the lights of the fireworks illuminate your figure, and while he inspects you, his fingers around your entrance to check how really wet you are. He takes the note, that if he wants to fuck you along with the pyrotechnic show, the moment was now.

He moves your legs to be apart, cursing in a low tone, as he takes your hips to accommodate you at his taste, and you have to shush your own moan once you feel the tip of his cock moving between your legs, all the way to your entrance. 

He pushes in, firmly and decided, yet still slow at first, as he always did. You assume that he takes his time, wanting to feel you opening at his length and he always groans lowly as if it was the best thing ever. 

You whimper, his cock as always moving inch by inch, slowly as if he wanted your walls to remember his shape, his hardness, every vein and how he throbs for you. 

“First time of the year, huh?” He cannot help but tease a bit, as his forehead was resting against your shoulder, and he looked how the sight of his cock disappeared as he pushed all the way in, and your ass against his crotch never fails to make him moan.  “Fuck..” 

With one arm wrapped around your waist, he moves the other one to caress your hip, as you moan impatiently for him to move.

“Focus on the fireworks” He insists, his tone shaky, and you both know that no one here cares for the damn fireworks right now.

He starts thrusting, slow at first, making you close your eyes in delight, and your breath is catching midway in your throat from how good it feels. He as well feels in pure delight, you always took him so well, you always were so tight that it made him fantasise about you always. 

“Just like that, baby” He says, increasing his thrusts, moving your hips to meet his pounding, and you start mewling, and it only seems to encourage him to move faster. His other hand finds the way to your hair, grabbing it to make your head look forward. “You wanted so badly to watch it, and now you don’t even care? Tsk, tsk…” 

You can hear the amusement of his tone, how he loves being the responsible of this, of making you melt under his touch, and thanks to his cock.

Entering you over and over, was probably the best way to start the year, and he marks this tradition as his own now, seeing the fireworks as he fuck you against the balcony railing. The idea pushes him into arousal even further, his forehead leaning on your shoulder again, and it makes so easy to hear his lascive sounds, his soft grunts as he keeps pushing your body to meet his, and wanting to make a mess out of you.

“Fuck!” There, he thinks smirking to himself, so buried into you, and he pushes away without any mercy. You let another mewl, lascive and filthy, driving him insane. “Aemond, fuck…” You moan, his cock deep inside you, hitting your sweet spot, and fitting so good inside you would never keep you quiet. 

You can see from the edge of you eyes the neighbors below, also in the balcony, but they were drinking champagne and unaware of how their upstairs neighbors were fucking like animals in the middle of the firework show.

“Are you close, sweet thing?” He asks kissing and nibbling below your ear, right where your jaw started. “Are you gonna cum– Gonna soak my cock, like the good girl you are?”

“Yes” You say breathing forcefully, letting out an exhale that feels more like a sob, and you nod frantically. His hand loose from your hand, and moves down to play, once again, with your pearl. 

At that, you have to move one of your own hands to your mouth not to shout in ectasis, as he does just the right thing. His cock deep inside you, thrusting and pounding into you, precum all over your walls, you are sure, and his fingers doing circles and rubbing your clitoris in the best way possible. 

It is no one’s surprise when you cum with a choked moan, your eyes closed as Aemond feels your walls clenching around you as your orgasm hits you. You don’t even seem to notice how the show keeps going, the palmer lake fireworks right in front of you, and you are too busy soaking his cock to notice.

He doesn’t last longer either, the sight and the feeling of you cumming around him, is enough to make him bury himself deep into you, and let out a moan as he fills you, his arm wrapped around you keeping you still so you don’t move as he cums inside you.

You both are out of breath, and you are too exhausted from the orgasm that hit you.

“Look” He murmurs, and you let out a little sound, not in the mood for his teasing. “Not, really, look; your favourites, the palmer ones..” He says pointing at them.

You look at the fireworks, explode so gracefully and then fall faintly. You chuckle a bit, as he hugs you from behind, kissing your cheek adoringly and tenderly.

“I love you” You say softly.

“I love you too” He says, as he pulls out, letting you enjoy the rest of the show. 

He pulls your dress down, and makes sure your jacket can warm you after all, and you thank him. He also fixes himself, and he takes you in his arms, kissing your forehead at the last, and more prettier fireworks are in the sky.

“I think that next year, you could ride me” He teases and you have to laugh at that. 

“I’ll do” you promise, curling in his hug and watching the sky full of colours.

It seems like a great year, already. 

[finnsbubblegum]

Two Red Lines (Joel Miller X Reader)

Pairing: no-outbreak!joel miller x f!reader

Warnings: fluff, sweet joel, domestic joel, rom-com, pregnancy

Summary (Series): reader as Joel’s neighbor. Joel’s wife left him so Joel asked his neighbor for help in babysitting Sarah. 

Summary: meeting your ex-boyfriend when you were buying pregnancy tests with Joel might be the best revenge you could ever have.

Words count: 2.3k

A/N: THANK YOU FOR 1K! I LOVE U SO MUCH!!❤️

I’m trying to make this as a rom-com, hope you like my new series! This is part 14 of Where It All Starts. But it can also be read as a standalone. I'm so grateful for all of you! Thank you for your comments, reblogs, and likes ❤️ There are still more chapters for this series so stay tuned! Love you!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20

It had been a few months since you and Joel decided to try for a baby. You were too excited that you always bought pregnancy tests each time your period was late, even just for a few days. 

Your heart beat faster while waiting for two lines appearing on the stick you were holding as you sat on the toilet.

“Another negative.” You sighed and tears started falling down your cheeks.

“Hey, baby. It’s okay. We have all the time we need.” Joel crouched next to you.

“I’m sorry, baby.” You apologized.

“Hey, hey. Don’t. No pressure, okay.” Joel rubbed your back and kissed your temple.

You had been disappointed by the results a few times but Joel always supported you and gave you the strength and hope not to give up. The two of you leaned on each other and kept trying. Few months flew by and this time, your period was about a month late but you didn’t realize because you were tired of getting negative results. Until one day, you started eating more than you usually did.

“Excuse me, can I have one more plate of these, please?” You called for the waiter.

“You’re not full yet?” Joel asked you.

“Uh-huh. I didn’t eat much for lunch today.” You took another spoon and put it in your mouth.

Joel nodded, having no clue that you were pregnant because your excuse made sense. 

“Can I have a bite, mommy?” Sarah asked to take a bite of your food.

“One bite, okay? Mommy’s still hungry.” You gave Sarah a bite.

Joel looked at you and chuckled. He had never seen you so protective of your food before. It was his first time and he found you very cute. 

At home

“Oh my God!” You screamed as you looked at yourself in the mirror.

“What?! What?!” Joel ran to you in the bedroom.

“I gained weight! I’m fatter. Look!” You showed Joel your body that was bigger than before.

“You look beautiful as always, baby.” Joel sighed. He was relieved that you were not screaming because of getting hurt or something.

“No, Joel! This is bad! Ugh! Why did I eat two plates today?!” You regretted eating two plates for dinner tonight.

“Baby, calm down. You can always eat as much as you want. You’re always beautiful to me.” Joel hugged you and rubbed your back.

You started sobbing and wet his shirt. Joel brought you to bed and comforted you until you fell asleep with your face buried on his chest. It was 4AM and you found yourself awake feeling hungry again. You remembered how you regretted eating a lot the night before so you forced yourself to get back to sleep, ignoring the hunger in your stomach. You held it for a few minutes until you couldn't hold it anymore. You flipped your blanket open and got off from the bed. Opening the door slowly not to make any sound as possible so you didn’t wake Joel. 

The fridge was the first thing you checked right away when you arrived in the kitchen. Your mind kept repeating “chocolate ice cream, chocolate ice cream, chocolate ice cream.” Bad news, you didn’t have any chocolate ice cream in your fridge. The last time you went to get groceries, you just bought strawberry ice cream for Sarah. You started crying as you held the strawberry ice cream in your hand then you put it back. You closed the fridge and sat on the kitchen floor crying. Holding both of your legs to your chest, burying your face on your knees, sobbing. 

“Baby?” Joel’s voice came out of nowhere.

You raised your head and saw him standing beside the kitchen table. He saw your eyes were red, face was wet with tears. You snorted as you pouted at him. 

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Joel crouched next to you and put his hand on your shoulder.

“I want ice cream.” You sobbed.

“Okay.” Joel stood up immediately and opened the fridge. 

“Here.” He took the strawberry ice cream and gave it to you.

“I want chocolate ice cream.” You pushed away the strawberry ice cream.

“We only have strawberry ice cream in our fridge.” He shrugged.

“I’m so upset.” You sobbed as you wiped your tears.

“I’ll get you one tomorrow. Eat this for now.” Joel opened the lid and got a spoon for you.

“No. I want chocolate ice cream.” You insisted.

“Do you want kitkats? We have kitkats. It’s chocolate.” Joel took some kitkats from the snack box you stocked.

“No! It’s not the same!” You covered your face with both of your palms.

“What do I do, baby?” Joel sat beside you and stroked your back.

“I’m so sad!” You cried.

Joel was trying his best to make you feel better but you knew the only thing that could make you better now was only chocolate ice cream. But you couldn’t have it. It was too late and all the stores were closed. You had to wait until morning to get your cravings satisfied. So you decided to get back to bed and sleep on it. 

The next day, you went to get groceries with Joel and Sarah. You felt like you had waited ages just to get your favorite chocolate ice cream from the grocery store. Joel pushed the trolley and Sarah followed beside him. You went straight to the ice cream place to get the one that you had been craving the whole night. You took 5 cups and put it inside the cart. 

“Whoa! Baby, aren’t 5 too much? You’re gonna get diabetes.” Joel joked.

“Don’t provoke me, Joel. I waited the whole night for these.” You glared at him.

“I was just jokin’. I’m sorry.” Joel backed off right away as he noticed you were oversensitive.

“Can I get 5 too?” Sarah put another 5 strawberry ice cream in the cart.

“No, babygirl. You only get one.” Joel put back the other 4 cups back. Sarah pouted.

You and Joel walked around the grocery store and passed by a pile of pregnancy tests. Joel suddenly stopped. 

“What?” You asked him why he stopped.

“I think you need 5 of these.” Joel grabbed five different brands of pregnancy tests and put them inside the cart.

“You think I’m pregnant?” You scoffed.

“90%, yeah. With your mood changes lately, increased appetite, not to mention the cravings.” He nodded and pointed at the ice creams in the cart.

“Mommy’s pregnant?” Sarah squealed.

“Shh, sweetie. You’re dad’s just joking.” You shushed Sarah.

Joel raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms. 

“Fine.” You rolled your eyes and caved in.

“Fuck! Not again.” You cursed as you saw your ex-boyfriend again.

Joel saw your ex-boyfriend walking towards you and he groaned. He knew what your ex did to you and he hated him too. 

“Hi, long time no see.” Your ex waved his hand to you.

“You look good.” He complimented you and you just scoffed.

“Hey sweetie, can you help mommy to get mommy’s favorite snack?” You crouched and stroked Sarah’s head. 

You looked Joel in the eyes giving him a sign to leave with Sarah so she didn’t hear anything that your ex would say to you. 

“Come on, babygirl.” Joel nodded and held his daughter’s hand.

“What do you want? Didn’t I say I don’t want to see you again?” You crossed your arms.

“I was really just around and then I saw you. I swear.” He swore.

“I-uh-Congratulations.” He put his hand in his pocket awkwardly.

“For what?” You furrowed your eyebrows.

“I see a ring on your finger and some pregnancy tests in your cart.” He pointed at your hand.

You raised your hand and looked at your ring. 

“Thank you. I guess.” You took a deep breath in and out feeling guilty for being rude to him.

“I wish you all the best. You deserve it.” 

“I know.” You nodded.

“I-I just wanted you to know. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have cheated on you. I was stupid.” 

“Oh you just realized that now?” You scoffed as you cut him.

“I know, I know. You’re the most perfect woman I’ve ever known, (y/n). I regretted breaking your heart. No woman I met can be compared to you. You deserve the best. I hope your husband is treating you right. I hope you’re happy now.” 

Apparently, he just broke up with his girlfriend that he cheated on you with. This time, she cheated on him.

“I am. I’m a lot happier now. He’s treating me like a princess.” You tried bragging about how good Joel was. 

“That’s great. I’m happy for you.” He smiled.

“Okay, I-uh-I’m gonna go now. I’ll see you later. Or I won’t see you again if that’s what you want.” He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

“I’ll see you later, Chad.” You smiled back at him. 

“Happiness and health to you and your baby.” He smiled at you again.

“Thank you.” You turned away to find Joel and Sarah.

Your chest hurts, you wanted to cry. You had mixed feelings, you were sad but also happy. You were relieved you finally had closure from your ex because he finally apologized to you but on the other hand you wanted to cry. But you held your cries because you didn’t want everyone to stare at you. 

“Got everything?” You asked Joel who was paying for the groceries at the cashier.

“Yeah, everythin’ all right?” He rubbed your back which made you want to cry even more so you just nodded.

When you put on your seatbelt on the passenger seat, your tears started welling up in your eyes. You couldn’t hold it anymore. You closed your eyes and the tears fell down. 

“You okay?” Joel put his hand on top of yours as he drove with his other hand.

“I’m okay.” You nodded and rested your head on the headrest. 

“We’ll talk later.” You whispered because you didn’t want Sarah to hear.

“Okay.” Joel kept resting his hand on your and rubbed your hand with his thumb while he drove home.

At home

“Do you want to talk about it?” Joel sat beside you on the edge of bed.

“He apologized.” You felt that you were going to cry soon.

“That’s great, right?” Joel put his hand on your back.

You nodded as you started crying. Joel started moving his hand to rub your back helping to comfort you. 

“I forgive him, Joel. I’m happy he apologized but why do I still feel so sad and hate him?” You cried.

“It’s okay, baby. It takes time to forgive someone. You could still forgive someone and hate them. He hurt you and it left a scar on you and that’s normal.” Joel rested your head to his shoulder. 

Joel stayed there and let you rest your head on his shoulder as long as you needed. You finally stopped crying after an hour.

“Right, where did you put the pregnancy tests?” You suddenly remembered about it.

“It’s still in the paper bag. I’ll get it. Wait here.” Joel went downstairs to get it.

You stood up and went inside the bathroom as you waited for Joel to come.

“Here.” He passed you one stick and opened the other ones.

You pulled your pants and sat on the toilet to pee. Joel stood in front of you and stared at you. You laughed all of sudden.

“What?” Joel raised his eyebrows.

“It’s-uh-I can’t focus.” You laughed.

“I can’t pee if you’re staring at me like that. Go away for a second.” You shooed him.

“I want to be here.” He insisted.

“Okay, turn around.” You chuckled.

Joel turned around and now his back was facing you. You tried to focus on peeing on the stick.

“I still can’t, Joel.” You giggled.

“Okay, then how about this.” Joel suddenly made a shushing sound to help you pee. 

“What’s that?” You threw your head back and laughed.

“That will help you pee. Trust me.” Joel continued making shushing sounds.

You closed your eyes and focused on the sound he made. Not long after, you peed.

“Told you it works.” Joel chuckled and turned around to look at you.

You smirked and shook your head. 

“Okay, now we just have to wait.” Joel and you put the stick on the sink and squeezed each other’s hand.

Three minutes went by..

“You ready?” Joel squeezed your hand and you nodded.

Joel took the stick and showed it to you. You gasped.

“Two red lines.” Joel chuckled as tears welled up in his eyes.

“We’re pregnant.” You were tearing up too.

“You’re pregnant.” He kissed your forehead.

“We’re having another baby!” Joel hugged you so tight you couldn’t breathe.

“J-joel, I can’t breathe.” You tapped his back.

“I’m sorry, baby. I’m too excited.” He loosened his hug. 

“I’m excited, too.” You smiled and tip-toed to kiss him.

“We should tell Sarah.” Joel held your hand and dragged you out of the bathroom.

“Easy, mister!” You chuckled as Joel dragged you. 

“Sarah! We have good news for you.” Joel burst opened Sarah’s bedroom door.

“What daddy?” Sarah sat on her bed.

“You’re gonna be a big sister!” Joel screamed in excitement.

“Yay! Yay!” Sarah squealed and jumped on her bed.

“Careful sweetie. You’re gonna fall.” You chuckled.

“Come on!” Joel jumped on the bed and invited you.

Joel jumped with his daughter and you joined them. The three of you held each other's hand and made a circle as you jumped together. 

*breaking sound*

“Ahh!” You and Sarah screamed.

The bed leg broke. 

“Oops.” You shrugged. Sarah giggled.

“Not me.” Sarah shrugged.

“Not me either.” You and Sarah looked at Joel.

“So my fault then?” Joel pointed at himself.

“You’re the heaviest between us.” You crossed your arms.

“Fine, I’ll get it fixed tomorrow.” Joel chuckled.

The night ended with the three of you sleeping together in Joel’s and your bed.

To be continued...

A/N: Sorry for the long wait,  pregnancy fic as requested by @kelh27 hope you like this one! 

Taglist:

@lovelyygirl8 @skysmiller @moonlightdivine @crocodiile @angie2274 @pulchritudinousrogers @peqchsoup @msecho19 @happinessinthebeing @nyotamalfoy @nakedmoondiaries @dzaga890 @pa1g3-t0mm0 @prettysbliss @wanniiieeee @one-sweet-gubler @x-ap0llo-x @feministfanboi @ordinarylokix @afterglowsb-tch13 @padgraysonssram8re @tomorrowseverything @hummusxx @iranispunk @mrsyixingunicorn10 @likeanimagepassingby2 @mediocrewallflow3r @pedr0swh0r3 @mxtokko @dorck26 @cascactus28 @cheyxfu @stupidthoughtsinwriting @undermoonlightwalk @bigmoodyjoody @humanbug @sarahhxx03 @krisviciousx @quixscentsposts @dgct2 @dgraysonss @heybabyshae @fluffyspaceprincess @toottmblr @avengersfan25 @xixxala @dianaffddz @onzayhe @violetwitchmcu @welcometomyworldwithoutrules @kelh27

[luvangelbreak]

Deprived | Seven

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 matthew sturniolo x layla venita (female!oc) summary: everyone knows the story of the bad boy and the good girl but what happens when the school's most popular boy, Matthew Sturniolo, and the girl who notoriously is never there, Layla Venita, cross paths. warnings: swearing, drug use (weed), mentions of alcohol word count: 2.9k a/n: another matt pov bc i felt like it was fitting. lmk what pov you like more and thank u for all the support <3

pov: matt

As we drove to Downs, I kept stealing glances at Layla as she chewed on her tacos. She only asked for tacos but I of course got it for her in a meal with fries as well. Allie was singing along to the songs in the backseat and I glanced in the rearview mirror to see her dancing happily as she ate her fries. I bit my lip, trying to focus on the road instead of the girl beside me.

My mind drifted to when she placed a kiss on my cheek not only during the intermission of the game but also when I was standing outside with her. I didn't expect her to actually do anything, I just wanted to tease her but I wasn't mad that she did. I was cheesing like a 13-year-old boy inside and it drove me insane.

I'd know her for all of a week and I felt like she was consuming all of my thoughts. Every day she didn't come to school, the more I thought about skipping and driving to her house. I didn't want to seem obsessed, that's not something you do when you talk to someone for the first time only a few days prior and I knew that.

I tapped my hand on the wheel along to the beat of the song, looking over at Layla again but this time she made eye contact with me, a mouth full of fries as she sarcastically said, "Take a picture it'll last longer."

"Okay," I responded casually as we happened to pull up to the last set of lights that were red. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and took a photo of her and she frowned, swallowing the fries.

"Delete that," she deadpanned and I shook my head, locking my phone as the light turned green. We drove down the street and pulled into the parking lot, seeing Nate and Chris were already here eating McDonald's in the car.

"I'm gonna go steal Nate's fries. Be right back!" Allie jumped out of the back seat before I had even put the car in park making me laugh at her as she scurried around the car and jumped into the back of Nate's. I turned the car off, taking my seat belt off and winding down my window so the cold air hit my face

"Matthew," I heard Layla's serious tone and I turned my head to look at her again, "I'm holding your food hostage until you delete that photo."

She picked the bag up off of the floor between her feet, holding it tightly in her arms so I couldn't get my food. I heard Allie and Nate bickering from the car beside us but I didn't bother looking over.

"Why? You said to take a picture," I leaned over, trying to grab the bag but she pulled it closer to her body, leaning away from me slightly.

"I look disgusting," she frowned and I tilted my head at her.

"You didn't even see the photo," I state the obvious as I went to reach for the bag again.

"I don't need to see it. I had a mouth full of fries so of course I look bad," she seemed dead serious but I smiled at her nonetheless.

"You don't look bad," I told her, shaking my head and she huffed, "You look good all the time."

"Well, clearly you haven't seen me when I have just woken up," she rolled her eyes dramatically before throwing the bag in my lap. I let out a grunt when the heavy bag hit my crotch and she pursed her lips, "Oops."

"'Oops' my ass," I joked and she shrugged with a smile, taking another fry into her mouth. I let my eyes linger on her lips for a moment more before I grabbed my food out of the bag. I heard a phone vibrate and I knew it wasn't mine since it was underneath my thigh. As I dug into my phone, I noticed Layla pull her phone out of her pocket and her eyebrows furrowed as she stared at the small screen, "Everything okay?"

"Uh..." she trailed off, nodding hesitantly before she locked her phone, "Yeah everything's fine."

"You sure?" I double-checked, now mouth half full of food like she had done moments ago. Instead of responding, she quickly swiped on her phone and I heard the camera click on her phone. I furrowed my eyebrows as she smiled at me, making it hard to stay annoyed at her.

"Now we're even," she shrugged, the smile not leaving her lips as I shook my head. The rest of my teammate's cars pulled into the parking lot, all having their own variants of food and drinks. I was sure Dan was going to bring beer or weed and not to any surprise, he appeared out of the car with both.

"You think it's laced?" Layla spoke up and I looked over to see her staring at the bag of joints Dan was throwing around with not a care in the world.

"Nah Dan's super picky about what he smokes. Went on a whole tangent to me about strains and what they all do. Didn't listen to a word of it though," I told her honestly as she nodded, pursing her lips before she looked over at me.

"You mind if I have some?" she asked and I shrugged, scoffing down the last of my food before taking a sip of my drink, "Slow down there pretty boy. You're gonna choke on that if you're not careful."

"I always eat fast after a game," I admitted and she smiled, shaking her head like she was scolding a child, "You can smoke. Just don't get so high that you can't function."

She sent me a smile before nodding and jumping out of the car. My eyes followed her every move as she walked over to Dan and I saw both of their mouths moving. Moments later, Dan handed her a joint and she used her own lighter to light the end of it.

"You look like a goddamn dog drooling at her like that," I jumped in my seat and turned my head to see Nate standing outside the window of my door.

"Shut up," I rolled my eyes, taking a sip of my drink as I slid further down into my seat, my eyes always finding their way back to her, "I'm just making sure Dan won't try anything.

"Why do you care if he does?" he asked, a knowing smirk on his face as he leaned his elbows onto the windowsill.

"He's a dick," I mumbled and Nate hummed in response before he chuckled.

"Okay, enough. You look like Joe Goldberg just staring at her from the car," Nate pulled the door open and I turned my head to see him standing there, waiting for me to get out. I rolled my eyes, grabbing my phone, keys and drink from the car before hopping out and closing the door behind me.

"I'm not a stalker, dude," I grumbled and he chuckled as we began walking towards where everyone was now huddled around Ethan's car.

"You fucking look like one," he jokingly said quietly before we were a part of the group. As soon as we walked over, Layla moved her position between Dan and Ryder to stand between Chris and I. I resisted the urge to look down at her but as everyone talked amongst themselves, I felt her weight shift on her feet so she was leaning towards me.

I swung my arm around her shoulders causing her to lean into me fully. I could tell she was still tense as she continued smoking the joint, making sure to blow the smoke to the ground so as to not let anyone else breathe it in. I wish I could say the same for Dan who was basically directly blowing the smoke in my face.

"Dan," I said sharply catching the attention of his slowly redening eyes, "Quit it."

"What?" he asked, still blowing the smoke in my direction.

"You're blowing it right in my face and I'm like 5 feet away from you," I frowned at him as I felt Layla relax into me further, her tense nature depleting the more she smoked. Dan rolled his eyes before blowing the smoke behind him and I thanked him in my head, not bothering to verbalise it.

I felt her head shift against my shoulder and I looked down at her to see she was already looking up at me, her eyes slightly red and pupils every so faintly dilated.

"You okay?" she asked almost inaudibly and I nodded, smiling down at her before she returned the nod, resuming her head to a straight position to look at every one. She turned her attention to Dan before asking, "Dude, where did you get this from?"

"Some guy named Ray. He's down at South End," Dan explained and I felt Layla tense against me again, "Poor excuse of a house but the shit is good so I go anyway."

Layla just nodded, finishing the rest of the joint before she threw it onto the ground.

"Damn, didn't even think about sharing?" Ethan asked, a playful smile on his lips as he looked at Layla. Dan handed his joint to Ethan before Layla spoke.

"Wouldn't do its job if I let someone else smoke it," Layla shrugged, now placing her hands in the pocket of her hoodie. Ethan raised his eyebrows, clearly impressed as he took a hit of the joint before he looked at me.

"You gonna let loose yet, boss?" he asked, holding the joint out for me and I shook my head, my thumb mindlessly tracing circles over Layla's arm as she relaxed again.

"I'm driving and you know I don't do that shit," I told him and he shrugged.

He took another hit before saying, "More for me."

Ryder grabbed a beer from Dan's car, chugging it in an instant making me cringe at the frat-boy nature of my teammates. I liked them for the most part, they were good at the game and overall decent people but they had the tendencies of total fuckwits and I hated being grouped with their idiotic behaviour.

"I'm tired," Layla mumbled so quietly I almost didn't hear her as I looked down to see her eyes hooded and her body slumped against mine.

"We can sit on the hood?" I asked her quietly and she nodded slowly. I kept my arm around her as we walked through our small ground before I sat myself down on the hood of Ethan's BMW. She sat herself next to me, once again her body leaning towards me as I swung my arm around her.

"Dude, not my new car," Ethan whined and Layla went to stand up but I pulled her against me as I looked at him with a straight face.

"You were just sitting on it," I stated and he rolled his eyes before returning his gaze back to the ground. I had completely checked out of the conversation still, not listening to a word any of them were saying as I felt Layla's warmth radiating off of her body.

I noticed Allie and Chris running around the parking lot, Chris seemingly chasing Allie with something that I couldn't see from the dim lights of the parking lot. I shook my head, smiling at their idiotic actions.

"This is nice," Layla spoke quietly so only I could hear and I looked down at her to see she was still looking ahead.

"What's nice?" I asked her in the same hushed tone, returning my thumb to tracing circles on her arm.

"All of it," she mumbled before she looked up at me, her eyes now very red and pupils dilated even more so, "You're nice."

"You're not too bad yourself, Layls," I smiled down at her and a lazy smile spread across her lips.

"I've never had a nickname. I like it," she nodded like she was a little kid making me chuckle. I never liked being around people when they were high or drunk but she just seemed to be more relaxed, her cold demeanour disappearing by the minute.

"I'll have to keep using it then," I told her and she nodded once again, returning to look ahead of us at my friends, "Is Rockstar still on the table though?"

She laughed and it felt like music to my ears, my smile widening as she shook against me before saying, "You're a fucking idiot."

"At least I'm pretty," I shrugged, an amused look covering my face as she looked up at me with a roll of her eyes, "You said it, not me."

I stared down at her, a small smile still on my lips as her eyes scanned my face before she said, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because you're the pretty one here," I blurted out without a second thought and I saw a small tint of red cover her face. She moved her to look ahead again as I leaned down, placing my chin on top of her hair.

"Bony ass chin," she mumbled, making me chuckle as I pinched her arm, "Hey!"

"Don't call my chin bony," I said back as my eyes drifted to where Chris was now sitting with Allie in the middle of the parking lot.

"Then don't have a bony chin while putting it on my head," Layla said back and I moved my arm off of her shoulders, sliding it down so it was on her back before I pinched her waist lightly. She sat upright, hitting me in the chest with her right hand, "Stop pinching me!"

"Or what?" I challenged and she stood up, moving to stand in front of me. She moved my right knee so it was slightly further apart from my other as she placed herself between my legs. I felt my breath hitch as she leaned forward.

"Or this," she simply said before she stepped back, holding my phone in her hand that I hadn't even noticed she slid out of the pocket of my hoodie.

"Layls, give me my phone back," I reached to grab it but she moved it further away, "Really?"

"You want it?" she smirked at me as she started walking backwards, "Come get it then, pretty boy."

I stood up from the hood of the car and I placed my drink on the ground before I slid my keys out of my pocket, turning to Nate and placing them on his chest before saying, "Hold these."

He didn't get a chance to respond before Layla bolted down the length of the car park and I quickly ran after her. Her laughter echoed through the parking lot but she made the mistake of slowing down to look behind her at me because her reaction time to seeing how close to her I was, was not fast enough. I grabbed her arm just in time before she could slip away, pulling her chest against mine but she moved her other arm to hide my phone behind her back.

"Can I have my phone back now?" I looked down at her, eyebrows raised as she smiled up at me dopily. She shook her head and I reached around her back to grab it but she was able to contort her arm so it was further away from my hand. I rolled my eyes as I let my hand drop to my side.

She chewed on her lip for a moment, looking in thought as she scanned my face before she moved her arm, sliding it up the bottom of her hoodie. She pulled her hand out again, the phone no longer in it.

"If you want your phone, grab it yourself," she smirked up at me and I groaned, still keeping a grip on her arm but not tight enough to be aggressive.

"I'm not taking my phone out of your bra, Layls," I stated and she shrugged with a smile still on her lips.

"Guess you're not getting your phone back then," she giggled and I shook my head, pursing my lips so a smile didn't slip through at the sound of her joy.

"You're the most stubborn girl I've ever met," I mumbled, trying to keep a straight face as she beamed up at me.

"And you're a pussy. Just grab the phone, Matthew. Not that hard," she challenged and I let my eyes fall closed, debating on whether or not it was a good idea to follow her wishes. The devil on my shoulder got the better of me as I gave in, pulling the hem of her hoodie towards me only to realise she wasn't wearing a shirt.

"You're really making me do this?" I asked and she nodded, looking dead into my eyes as I sighed. My fingers brushed against the warm skin of her stomach, the coldness making goosebumps rise on her skin. I slowly trailed my hand up as she raised her eyebrows, a smirk still on her lips.

I felt my hand touch a fabric that wasn't her hoodie and I hesitated, not being able to see under the sweatshirt to figure out where my phone was. I let out a huff, deciding to just get it over with so it didn't look like I was just feeling her up in the middle of the parking lot. My hand rose to the top of her bra, my fingers running along the top of her boobs before I felt something solid. I felt the rectangular shape and quickly slid the phone out before my hand left her hoodie entirely.

"Good boy," she patted the side of my face before she slid past me, walking back to the group as I stared at the ground in front of me. I tried to regain my consciousness and pull myself together but the feeling of her skin on mine made my hand tingle and my pants tighten. My mind was swirling with thoughts of nothing but her. Her skin, her eyes, her smile, her mind, her voice. God, her voice rang through my ears, "You comin' or what?"

This girl will be the death of me.

tags:

@ilovechrissturniolo1 @leprechaunbirthdaygirl

[selfpositiveundertale]

Long post.

TW: car accident

Hey everyone. I'm not doing great.

I've already been having a hard time with migraines getting absolutely out of hand and interfering with literally everything in my life, but yesterday I had my first car accident. The meme I just posted is relevant. It was my fault but thankfully only me in the vehicle. Other than bruised knees(I'm short so I had the seat pulled up close so I could reach the pedals) and some mild rug burns where the air bag got me on my left hand and my neck (I had instinctively raised my arms to protect my face), I don't think I was injured in any way my chiropractor couldn't fix. Definitely jarred my entire skeleton and dislocated some ribs and messed up my neck but what else is new. I didn't hit my head and nothing hurts in any way I'm not already deeply familiar with. Surprisingly I haven't gotten a migraine yet but I'm fully expecting one soon.

Really good thing I wasn't wearing my sunglasses. I lost the pendent off my necklace though. It must have broken off when the air bag blew and then fallen into the road when I got out of the vehicle.

My vehicle is totaled. Not a great loss since the thing was on its last legs anyway but it sucks not having my own transportation now, even if I could only drive in town and couldn't leave town because it wouldn't make it far on the interstate. It would start shaking like a leaf any time I went over 50 mph and I didn't like that. I'm really sore and tired and shaken up but I'm getting through it.

My husband came immediately when I called him and he talked to the car insurance company and called his boss to take the rest of the day off work so he could be with me.

The people in the other car were mostly okay other than the man having a cut on his forehead and his wife having a scraped knee but both of their babies were completely unharmed, thank goodness. Nobody was mad at me, possibly because I was hysterical panicking inconsolable and kept apologizing and asking if they were okay. They were also on their way to the car dealership to see about getting a new vehicle anyway, so I think they'll be fine.

I made an appointment with my chiropractor this morning and he checked everything and basically said I was in pretty bad shape but not really any worse than usual, which was a great relief but not surprising. He fixed the ribs, my shoulder blades, neck, and hands and gave me some samples of a supplement he said might help the soreness. I'm also taking my painkillers, OTC pain medicine, and applying arnica cream to the bruises.

I've been so tired and sore and haven't been up to doing much of anything except eating my feelings but I'm making sure my pets get fed and helping my husband get ready for work in the morning. I don't think I'll be able to meal prep anything for him like I normally do and he says it's okay, he's not expecting anything of me if I don't feel up to it and he doesn't mind buying his breakfast and lunch.

I fear the financial repercussions of this, especially since things have already been very tight due to several sudden veterinary expenses. The cat gods looked at us and went "kittens upon you and your household" so in the last 4 weeks there have been 2 vet visits for a tiny baby runt of a kitten my husband found alone and abandoned at his workplace, one for a very pregnant stray kitty that followed a family member home and popped out 7 babies, and one for my dog when she caught a UTI. We think she's over it by now but I'm taking her back to the vet Friday for a recheck. It's been hard with her because she's been refusing to eat her dry food and we've been having to buy wet food as well as chicken breast and white rice and alternating between the wet food and a bland diet when the antibiotics made her tummy upset. I'm really hoping that by Friday I'll be brave enough to drive. The vet isn't far and my mom is going to let me take her old car for whatever I need until we manage to get me another used vehicle.

I know the car insurance is going to go up because of the crash even though now there's one less vehicle on it, and I'm praying to the heavens that I don't have to actually go to a doctor and get checked out because of the crash.

I need to see a doctor anyway about the migraines that are now coming several times a week and affecting me in unsettling ways like impairing my speech, making me nauseous when I use my eyeballs for their intended purpose, and even made me collapse once. But the clinic I usually go to because the price is income based is in the next town and I'd definitely have to have my husband take time off work to take me. I also fear they'll refer me to a neurologist. I'm certain I need to see one but since I don't have health insurance and the process for getting financial assistance at any given specialist office is (probably deliberately) incredibly difficult and tedious and almost not even worth the effort, it just doesn't seem feasible at this time.

I am trying to make things to stock my Etsy shop so I can make some money but at the moment I just don't have the energy for it. But maybe I should try anyway. The simple repetitive action of crocheting while listening to a book or Old Gods Of Appalachia might help me settle down and feel more normal. My hands ache but my compression gloves might help.

Things are just extremely scary and very painful right now. Staying determined is hard but I'm trying. I'm trying so hard.

❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜

[wonderwithin-us]

The dream you're looking for is in the work you're avoiding ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Guess who got their phone broken 💗 but it's alright, it's all ok now & I noted down all I did in the past 3 days. My exams were a little bad, really bad to be completely honest, but it's alright, it was my first time giving exams this semester and I learnt what I need to do.

11th of July, 2023 💕

100 days of productivity — day 5, week 1

Economic exam preparation ~ I was so confused, there were so many concepts I'd missed because of my sickness but I tried YouTube and notes online. Procrastination really did get the best of me. I need to lessen my use of insta, seriously, I think Tumblr is more safe in that regard.

Microeconomics — Introduction & Consumer's Equilibrium

Statistics — Introduction & Organisation of Data

I need to work on my graphs, practice more and overall concepts of microeconomics. Also, clear up my concepts on stats. It's easy, but revision is needed.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

12th of July, 2023

100 days of productivity — day 6, week 1

Economics exam, yikes. Next exam was Psych the next day, so I was really nervous because I wanted to score well in it! ❣️

However.

Procrastination got to me, again. I studied for a while then thought it was too easy and I could do it at night, which, evidently, I couldn't.

I think rather than seeing easy topics as something to skip studying or take easy, I should put more effort in them so I can get them perfect and let it pay back to me.

What is Psychology? & Methods of Enquiry

I need to work on my basic concepts, esp in ch-2, and notes. Visual learning works best for me, and making my own notes is essential to my learning 📖

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

13th of July, 2023

100 days of productivity — day 7, week 1

Dear god, I think my psych exam was the most terrible. Which hurt me the most.

I really did lose hope after this. Not only did my incredibly unclear concepts and no notes not help, but the exam was extremely tough, the questions were really vague and I didn't understand them, and the worst of all, I literally forgot I had a whole section to do as objective even after rechecking. I lost 5 marks from that, maybe more.

That really hurt.

Tomm was English exam! I had seen what had happened in the last papers, so I really worked hard here.

I mostly focused on literature, since the creative writing formats were mostly very easy and took less than an hour.

Chapters with details are hard!

Anyways, I was really anxious until the end, and kept a few detailed chapters to the morning after to revise.

I really need to work on studying chapters I've missed before the exams come. It was so messy and frustrating trying to understand all these chapters with online notes and summaries, especially when the chapters are so open ended and the teacher is so strict with answers 💌

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

14 of July, 2023

100 days of productivity — day 8, week 2

WAR!!! IS!!! OVER!!!!

Final exam day, I was nervous but it was actually quite alright!

I absolutely need to work on my speed, though.

Also, I almost always exceeded the word limit in answers. So, I need to practice my creative writing more, not just in my head, but actually on paper, and be more perfectionist in my answers in literature.

I went out with my big brother to eat street food and it was all very lovely 🍝

I also wrote a lot of poetry, which I'm really quite proud of. I also received some really good news! 💕

New week! The first week was really, really overwhelming, and I don't want my future self to end up like that again. It was exhausting and hurtful and I want to get better.

In the end, I've got a lot of stuff to work with and I'm really proud of my self to survive all this! ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* I hope nothing but peace upon my future.

[bunnieclit]

idk what else to say besides life's been fucking my fat ass lately 😻

butttt my sons been doing amazing and gaining more weighttt (he's completely fine dw just born 2 weeks before my expected due date so lil mans a tad bit below average on his body weight)

so lil update

lost 4 pounds that's it😭 since having my baby im always so hungry ive binged three times since having him and literally never feel full after ik i gotta fast to shrink my stomach back down but my bf is so persistent about me eating especially at dinner he's completely caught on to the fact that i have a problem we've gotten into several arguments recently over food around me not eating/not eating enough but i am trying harder than ever to focus on my health my mindset has changed a lot since becoming a mother of course i want to be thin again but not more than i want to be alive which is new lmaoooo

sooooo srry 4 the rant but i gotta get this shit off my mind

i feel so alone and empty when i'm home alone sooooo almost all day every day ik i gotta learn how to drive so i can have some sort of life outside of my room i sit here and just overanalyze all my relationships and every lil interaction with my bf i feel so bad bc he works sm and comes home excited to see me and the bby and im so bitter and cold for lik the first 30 minutes then snap out of it cuz literally WTF i wait around for him to get home lik a dog and by the time he gets here im in a terrible mood and for whatttttt he's so good to me and understanding :( im trying so hard to be better for him the last thing i ever want to do is push him away from me he's my world

i had a full blown breakdown on sunday when my family came to visit our bby but thank godddd i sped off to the garage before they noticed anything was wrong but me it's just since having the baby i can't even stand the way i look

me and my bf do this bs were we take pictures of each other naked looking stupid and it's never bothered me b4 we always send them back and forth when he's working but he took one on saturday and the second i saw it i wanted to puke i didn't even recognize myself i looked disgusting but i didn't make a big deal about it until sunday

it was all I could think about throughout the day i kept going back and just staring at the picture so by the time he got home i was so hurt i barely talked to him when my family got there he was being extremely standoffish and wouldn't even come into the living room where we all were which is extremely unlike him so i went over there to apologize and ask him if he was mad at me

ofc cuz he's the best bf told me no he's just confused and doesn't know why i'm acting like that i completely brokedown sobbing telling him about how the picture made me feel and i know he didn't mean any harm by it but that i just hate myself sm and don't know how he could love me looking like this but he's ofc so reassuring and supportive i felt so much better afterwards

he's way older than me so he's extremely against plastic surgery but told me last night that after we have our second child he will pay for me to get a tummy tuck bc he can't stand to see how my body is affecting me anymore

likk thank you sirrrrrr😻

[ellus986]

Swept of my feet part 2

Javier Pena x reader

Note: you work with Pena and Murphy to take down Escobar.

Warning: swearing. Mention of sex, dirty dancing, lot of fluff

It has been weeks since that night Javi knocked on your door for coffee. He has a new excuse everynight since so he can come into your apartment and fuck you. He haven’t really slept in his own bed since, but you didn’t complain.

You still kept it a secret, going into work with separet cars, but you had additional touches here and there when it wasn’t obvious, and the flirting still went on. It was the one thing Murphy caught on. He always cleared his trought when there was anything suspicious.

Tonight isn’t different from the others, it is a long shift again, staying in until midnight wasn’t strange to any of you. As time went on, and fever the people got in the embassy the touchier Javi gets.

“Javier!” you play with the R, and it makes him crazy, you want to make him crazy. “Don’t be so touchy…” you giggle. “How will you explain to Steve if your hand sticks to my ass?” You wishper as you two lean over the printer.

“Chica, don’t do this to me!” He looks at you with pleading eyes.

“What, Javier?” That R Rolls from your lips and his eyes are fixated on the cieling.

“Dios ayúdame!” He wishpers before you walk away.

It suprises you how attached he became, how even obsessed he seemed, yet you knew it wouldn’t last long, it shouldn’t last long.

At midnight you call it quits, and head home. You just exit the shower when there is two loud knocks on the door. You already know who it is when you open it, but get suprised as he stands there with food in his hand.

“I know you are hungry!” He doesn’t takes a no for answer.

“Starving!” You agree, with a smile on your face. He steps in and you kiss him. “So hard to keep myself away from this!” You still let your fingers get lost in his hair.

“You tell me, chica? With all your flirting I am suprised the embassy didn’t catch on fire… yet!” His husky voice lingers on your lips as he Waits for an another kiss.

You kiss him shooting the door behind him, leading him to your sofa, putting the food on your coffee table, before pushing him down sitting in his lap kissing him.

“We should eat if you are starving!” He giggles into your mouth.

“I just like your taste more, than any food…” you answer, eyes still closed as his lips are still touching yours.

“Sometimes I forget I was the one sleeping with countless people, and not you!” He looks at you suprised. To be fair you were suprised too, you never knew you had such hunger in you for sex, but Javier woke up something in you.

You had dinner talking, laughing the whole time. To your suprise he knew what was your favorite food, and even knew the dessert you loved so much. You can’t wrap your head around this, he shouldn’t know all this, he should know where is your sweeet spot, that makes you cum, but your favorite food? No! That is something partners know, and you knew better than to hope anything romantic. Yet sometimes you felt more close to him, than anyone before, but than you always reminded yourself you are just a girl he fucks, there were a lot of whores before you, and most defenetly they will be after you. You should enjoy your night until they last.

Two days later

Javier’s point of view:

You begged the boys until the three of you didn’t go to your regular place to have a drink, but a place you set your eyes on, with live music and lot of dancing.

You excused yourself before exiting the embassy, and when you walked out in that revealing dress, that still was flowy at the bottom he forgot to let out the smoke cloud he had in, making him cough like a lunatic.

The three of you had a few drinks before you enter the dancing floor. You pick up the rhythm so quick, he can’t even wrap his head around it. You look so free, and happy as you dance around with all the people on the dancelfloor.

He wanted to join you so bad, even he wasn’t really a dancer. The realization hit him when you almost ate him up with your eyes while almost riding someone else’s leg as dancing with the fella, that noone can unsee the chemistry you two had.

“Who is this woman? Because this is not Y/N!” He hears Steve, but can’t take his eyes off of you.

“Esta es mi chica!” He mumbles as he starts to walk troward you, not even carrying what Murphy has to say. He grabs your hand and pulls you to himself. You loose your balance as you turn in his way and gasp as you bump into his chest and realise it is him. “You look beautiful, chica!” You slick his face as you look up to him, still chest to chest. You let your hand wonder on his body as you make him move with you to the music. Hips moving together, forheads pushed together, eyes on eachother. In just a few minute he gets the hang of it, and now as his body is pressed to yours he already understands why people like to dance.

“Shouldn’t we keep this a secret?” You giggle and it tickles his lips.

“Should we?” He asks back enjoying every inch your bodies meet, even his prick is rock hard from the moment you entered the dancefloor and he isn’t sure he wouldn’t let his loud in his pants if your hands would just wonder over the bulge in his jeans. “You enchant me, quarida!” He gets even closer to you, almost kissing you, yet still not crossing that line.

“Fuck it!” You pull him down for a deep, passionet kiss, as your fingers get lost in his hair. “I am not ashamed to be used by you!” You slick his face, fire burning in your eyes as you look into his.

“Are you sure I’m the one using the other and not the other way around?” He pulls you even closer, dancing to the beat. He couldn’t wrap his mind around how he spins you, how his body moves like it was used to this kind of movement. And he defenetly can’t wrap his head around how much he was already falling for you.

Your point of you:

The next morning Steve looks at you with such serious face, you start to think someone died, as Javier exits the car to buy some cigarettes.

“I don’t want you to get hurt by getting into something that you don’t know what…” you should’ve known he will bring up what happend last night.

“I won’t, I’m in nothing…” you say and it says on his face he doesn’t bielive you.

“You are clearly in something…”

“I don’t want more than I take, I know where are the limits, so I can’t get hurt if I know what I do!” You answer. It was obvious things will lead up to this conversation.

“And what is that exactly?” He is still looking mad. You don’t blame him, as he was watching the two of you kiss and dance for a massive half an hour before he excused himself.

“Enjoying eachothers company… Yes mostly eachother’s body, but don’t look at me like that!” You nodge him. “I know him, I know his past, and I know better than to think anything more could be between us!”

“It is already more than anything he had!” He looks at you concerned. “I’m not sure he is capable of anything you might want from this…”

“Steve, I really appreciate that you care about me, but I’m a big girl, and I can take care of myself…” you can’t finish as he cuts in.

“Last night he called you his girl… it will complicate everything is you aren’t carefull!” He gets even more fustrated.

“He did what?”

“My spanish isn’t the best, but I still understood him…” he looks at you as he pittys you.

“I think he call every girl he fucks his…” you try to reason what you just heard.

To be continued…

[frogofalltime]

day 4

last night i didn't get to sleep until past 2am because my headache was so bad and my eyes hurt and i just felt overall weird. i also had a nightmare. as a result i felt pretty awful and not well rested at all when i woke up.

this morning i had to go to a doctors appointment at 11:45 so my alarm was at 10am. i procrastinated for half an hour, then got up and ate breakfast and took my meds and got ready to leave the house

i got into a conversation about the word "normal" with my boyfriend which i normally (pun not intended) would've found interesting but today it made me slightly irritated (not your fault at all robin, i was just tired and stressed). anyway it got resolved quickly so there wasn't a problem, i just don't like how small things make me disproportionately annoyed when i'm tired

i was 2 minutes late for my doctors appointment but it was fine ! i'm getting a lot braver with going to the doctors by myself, i used to need robin or lucy to go with me every time, but now i am able to go alone.

then i went to the students union to buy some grains and seeds to feed the pigeons and my mother called me so i talked to her for a while. she was asking me about the doctors appointment and my adhd meds and stuff. it feels rude but i wished she didn't call me because i was overstimulated and wanted to go outside and see the birds.

after that an old lady asked me how the clothes swap at the students union works and i wanted to be kind so i helped her out with that and also bumped into my friend while i was there

i eventually got away from all the Humans so i went to the park and fed our flock of pigeons which was extremely fun like always. they kept pecking my fingers even when the food ran out because they were so hungry. and they are trusting me more and more every week, they let me pick them up and cuddle them now !

i thought i had a therapy appointment at 2pm so i rushed home but actually it was at 3pm so i had an extra hour to eat lunch and stuff (which is good because i was very hungry)

therapy was good but i felt very drained afterwards and did nothing for almost two hours. i just scrolled on my phone and felt bored.

i asked robin for advice because i was hungry again and it recommended me to cook a proper meal instead of trying to study while eating snacks and procrastinating dinner until 10pm which is what i've been doing lately. @etherealspacejelly you know me so well lmao

my flatmate was in the kitchen when i went to put my food in the oven. she was cooking a dish that has fish in it and the smell was really overpowering and horrible. i felt suddenly very overstimulated so after setting a timer for my food i went back to my room and turned off the light and did my prayers in the dark

then i went and collected my food and ate it while watching percy jackson which was Very fun ! i think i was a bit distracted but i mostly paid attention and went very insane about it (special interest go brrrr)

i considered doing some revision for my exams but it was already like 8pm and i was exhausted so i talked to robin for a while and then washed my dishes, took a shower, and got into bed.

overall i had an okay day, i did not study at all but i was really sleepy, irritable, and low on energy from both the doctors appointment and therapy, so i think it was justified

the headache has not been so bad today, and i'm still feeling thirsty but not as much, i guess i'm getting used to it

also i have been hungrier than usual, which is strange because they said Reduced hunger is a normal side effect, not Increased ?? but maybe it's because i suck at interoception usually, and the meds are making me better at interpreting my body's needs so i am more able to understand my hunger cues ? idk

i am extremely tired since i struggled to get to sleep the last few nights, so i'm hoping i will get more sleep tonight and feel more refreshed in the morning. goodnight :)

[wolfeyedwitch]

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

— — —

The only thing Charles could think of was sympathy for the poor vampire. He couldn't imagine being as hungry and yet so afraid as they were.

They were clearly starving, yet they were so hesitant to take the clearly needed food.

And when they finally did eat, he saw just how ravenous they really were. It scared him a bit, and then he immediately felt bad for feeling so. It wasn't their fault they were like this, or maybe it was, but that was still no reason to fear them.

When they finished, he tried to school his expression and not look so disturbed, but then he probably looked too serious, because the vampire trembled slightly and pressed their forehead to the floor.

"Well, now that that has been taken care of, I should go over house rules and my expectations for your stay."

He went on to explain that he encouraged them to move freely about this room, but to not go outside of this room without supervision. The door will be locked anyway, but he didn't want them to try.

He told them that starting tomorrow or the day after, he'd start to show them around a bit and get them acquainted with more of the house, but not give them full access until everything is settled.

He told them he was still looking into what the best feeding schedule would be and that he'd appreciate feedback. He told them he found starving distasteful and swore that they'd be kept very well-fed. It just a matter of finding the right blood and time of day to give it to them.

He told them that receiving them had been a surprise and so he didn't have any real plans for what to do with them. But he promised they'd be taken care of no matter what.

There was just one last thing he needed to go over with them, but this one was the one he was most unsure how to phrase.

"Now, I don't know how much you already know about me or my business. But I am a painter, and my main muse lives with me. He's... he is like you, in many ways, expect he is not a vampire. He means a great deal to me, and his safety and comfort are some of my primary concerns. You will be likely not meet him for a while, but when you do, I just ask that you try to get along and respect him. I will be asking the same from him. But, I believe that is it. Do you have any questions? I'm not sure if you're really able to speak, but perhaps you could gesture or write?"

Masterlist

CW: internalized dehumanization, it as a pronoun, nonverbal whumpee

---

The vampire was painfully grateful that its new owner deigned to explain the rules to it. The owners that did so, even those with the strictest rules, were better than the owners that said nothing and still punished it for breaking rules it didn't know existed. This one's rules were.... strange, to say the least.

Apparently, this was to be its room. It was allowed, encouraged even, to move about as it pleased within the room. Its owner said he would take it around after it "got settled". (It was trying not to think about all the things that could mean.) He said he would feed it, on a regular schedule, and even asked for it to give feedback? It was having trouble accepting that.

The troubling part was what came at the end of his explanations. Its presence was a surprise to him; that much it had surmised, given how he acted upon opening the box that contained it. The part that was a surprise was that the man already had a pet. Or maybe a muse? The owner called him one thing, but the description sounded like another. The dissonance was jarring.

Whatever he was called, the vampire's new owner already had someone filling the only role it was suited for. It was not only an unexpected gift, but an unneeded one.

It had no purpose here.

That realization sank in just as its new owner was asking if it had any questions.

How...?

It couldn't speak. Words were for humans, not vermin. And its hands had been purposefully broken (first as punishment during training, then later as entertainment for its owners) far too often for it to be able to write, even if it dared to try to claim the written word rather than spoken ones.

Gestures, then. It would have to figure out a way to communicate, given that this new owner wanted that of it.

It didn't know how to express the myriad of questions it had. Questions of his motives, of the other possible-pet, of what would become of it. But asking what it wanted to know wasn't the only question its owner set forth; he had also asked if it was able to communicate.

Slowly, cautiously, making no movements that could be considered aggressive, it unfolded from where it had pressed its forehead to the floor in supplication. It peeked up from under its lashes at the man; when he displayed no outward displeasure at its movement, it continued.

It put one hand over its mouth and shook its head. Then it slowly extended its hands, displaying and flexing the crooked fingers that refused to close into fists, and shook its head again.

Then it dared to look up at the man, meeting his eyes again. It dipped its head in the slightest of nods.

I cannot speak. I cannot write. I can gesture.

It had to hope that he would understand.

[the-light-finds-its-way]

It's 2am on... I don't know what day it is. Is it January yet? I haven't kept track. The earliest I've gotten out of bed since my mom went into the hospital is 2:30pm, and I usually don't fall asleep until like 5-8am. I can't remember when I last showered. I don't have any clean clothes to wear except for shirts, because I haven't done laundry in only Odin knows how long. Last time I brushed my hair was probably Saturday. I haven't gotten my meds refilled but that'll hopefully be done today. And the meds I do have I haven't been keeping up with completely. But a kind stranger bought me a pizza tonight, and I promised them I'd at least shower. So... I guess I should go ahead and do that instead of eating depression food (chocolate chip pancakes and cookies in a mug) every few hours. It's 2:45am now. But I'd rather take the shower now than wait another minute for that. I feel gross... Mom may come home today. I don't know for sure, but the doctors said she'd be coming home tomorrow for the past 5 days, then continued to push the time back. I understand, and I want her to stay as long as she needs to be safe. But I just miss her dearly... I haven't seen her in person for over a week... I didn't even get to do a video call with her today... You know, my lupus is flaring so bad that I had to call out of work Christmas Eve. I couldn't move. Couldn't stand. I'm still in pain days later, however many it may have been since then. I go to sleep and it's dark. I wake up and it's dark. And maybe, one day soon, I'll see the sun again... Gotta keep going until I do.

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

The great regular sleep experiment 2024 part uh... "pillow"

Okay, so what happened is the night before last I looked up everything I needed to go get my ID, and discovered that -technically- I didn't have anything that qualified as "proof of identity" because both my cards were expired and as a disabled person I can't qualify for a credit card, can't drive etc... In fact I can't even acquire something on the list. All the proof I have of who I am and where I live is technically only qualified as "proof of address", Having my passport -night- fix this, but my ex husband's father still has that.

So I decided that I'd show up with all I had, and if they were obtuse about it I would write angry letters exhaustively until there were policy changes. It's bad enough they make you get a new ID and health card every 2-5 years and that they make you pay for the photo ID. The applying online options would be great except you aren't allowed to the moment your card has actually already expired. I think there should be exceptions to a lot of these things for the disabled and especially for anyone on a disability pension.

I also decided that the best way to make sure I could get in and out as fast as possible was to get the earliest morning appointment I could and keep it, and I -could- book online so I did.

But then, it was my night sleeping shift, and even though I took sleeping pills and did everything I could... Not only could I not sleep at 10, but I couldn't sleep at 12, etc and so on until I had just laid in bed doing nothing until 5 ish am... At which point I had no choice but to get up because the walk there was going to take 1.5 hours min, and I had to eat and drink first, but also have time to pee after that had fully processed so I don't have to try to use a public toilet, etc... You know how a 9 am appointment means needing to be up at 4 when you're otherwise disabled and/or have autism/adhd...

So I fucking went to get my ID so sleep-zombied that I think everyone I encountered just assumed I was stoned AF, just absolutely wizard high at the government offices.

And I got my ID, but I hadn't brought my cane and I already could barely walk due to not sleeping, and kept tilting to the left because of trying to keep weight off of my right foot. I stopped at a dollar-store on the way home because it was right at opening and I needed to this week anyway to get the treats that make Pumpkin actually eat his food. Anyway point is I was walking way slower on the way back and the appointment was already at 9 am so I didn't get to bed until past 12.

And I slept! And then I was barely awake long enough to eat and went back to bed by 7 pm, and then I slept! On and off a lot until 6 am [I had moved my 5 am alarm later]...

And I am hoping I can sleep again in about 15 minutes, otherwise I am not going to recapture my 10-2 sleeps and my schedule will be soundly fucked up, all because I had to try to replace my ID.

[No I could not just take a cab or bus for the same reasons I never can without it being a near guarantee of being exposed to corona]

Oh yeah! The pillow! Turns out a shallow lumbar pillow for my lower back helps with my spine trying to be too straight all the time. The lower curve of my back and upper back have both been vanishing and my disks have been trying to curve out sideways because of it, and I have really shitty connective tissue, so I have been trying to keep my lower back curved the right way when I sleep so I don't develop an abnormal curve to my spine. For normal people this would be a process that takes years to cause problems and years to adjust back, or surgery, but my connective tissue is weak and stretchy and this kind of shit can happen to me and reverse int he span of a month. Unfortunately, correcting how bad my spine has gotten means an increase in the number of headaches I am getting again.

It also turns out that a lower back pillow that slips out of place is HORRIBLE for your back though, so ymmv.

So yeah, looking forward to my new ID photos looking utterly fucked... Which -frankly- is how I am going to look opening my door to buy alcohol or having to show up at a medical facility anyway.

That is, unless they pull the same shit as last time and send me my ID with the OLD photos because they can't see the age difference between them and think the older photo is better quality. They KEEP doing this, they insist I have to go in and take my mask off for a new photo [risk of corona and all], and then they just use the last one I took for them when I was still wearing makeup [more fem?]... Which is over 10 years old at this point, btw, it's just still on my last most recent ID because whoever is making the cards seems to prefer it. Like I don't care if I still look the same age, or younger with no makeup, I don't like having to show people an ID that looks like a 'modeling portfolio' pic and feels like misgendering. People already almost refuse to believe my ID is real because I look too young, I do not need them also thinking I don't look like the same person as in my photo because I don't look fem enough. I keep trying to take a more neutral looking photo and they keep opting out for me.

Whatever, they're telling me it's good for 5 years now.

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

So Bethy is back with us again now that school is over, and she's going crazy with nothing to do, so she keeps leaving to go on walks or whatever, and she wanted to go to Dollar Tree to get stuff for food for the next few days. We have a whole $30 left in the PayPal and mom gave her a small list that would get us enough food for 3 days if we're careful, and just as she was about to checkout(she had mom on-call) Dave demands ice cream.

And now he's being passive-aggressive acting like he's oppressed or something cuz I called out the fact that we have no money just to waste on ice cream. Cuz 1.) he won't be sharing that with the rest of us, and 2.) he's been lying to the food bank for weeks to get extra snacks that he hoards for himself.

Dave has dozens of bags of chips, choco chip granola bars, mini rice krispy treats, and chocolate donuts he stole from all our food bank bags. He rifles through the bags in the van before he distributes them to everyone. He has several Walmart bags beside the chair he sits in, that are just filled with junk that he then hides under a blanket.

He does not need more junk, nor does he need ice cream. Chips, donuts, and rice krispies ain't enough?

1.) the majority of the PayPal money comes from my Ko-Fi. I have a say in what it is spent on as a result. 2.) he was the one who claimed, "I need $20 for gas to keep it above half!" and then went behind our backs and used $70 instead. The reason we have so little left rn is because of him specifically, especially when he admits that he was going to put in $90 but decided to stick to $70. So, since he decided that he had to fill the tank all the way, he doesn't get ice cream. Too bad. Regular food is more important.

But he's acting like some oppressed maiden now.

EDIT: I made this post on June 11th but left it in my drafts because I wasn't going to post it, however it is now June 12th and I have more to add.

So, Bethy's school has driving instructors and the teens have to take and pass the class or they can't go and get their permits. Her teacher, a dumbass who can't do basic math apparently, mis-scheduled several kids so they all have to come to school, despite school being over now, to take the rest of their classes. And these are one-on-one courses that take hours of driving to locations hours away from the school. The kids aren't getting fed despite how they had to arrive at school time and won't leave until after noon.

Bethy has to do this June 12-14 and then has nowhere to go as she waits around because there is no arranged transportation either.

This morning, Dave was complaining about having to drive her to school personally, which pissed her off since he acts like being a parent is unfair.

Remember I said he was lying to the food bank to get more food? He was saying Bethy was with us this entire time and that's why he needed more, for a growing teen girl. So, she's back with us now... and his ass didn't give her the share meant for her. He didn't just steal all the snacks added to the baggies, he literally kept the extra dinner that was meant for Bethy, for himself. And yeah, it was a small turkey sandwich but it's more than nothing!

So today, as he has to get up early and go to work, he gets up at 5 AM and is gone by 6 AM. He put together a large bag for himself full of leftovers from yesterday(pasta and a sandwich), 3 bags of chips, several granola bars, rice krispy treats, water, slim jims, and some kind of cake thing.

And he couldn't spare one damn thing for his child. To make it worse... he has cash on hand and didn't think to give her any despite knowing she wouldn't be having breakfast or lunch. He woke her up a few minutes before they had to leave, so she did not get to eat or even prepare leftover pasta for herself.

She arrived at school at 6:30 AM and they wouldn't let her in, so she had to sit there until 8 AM. THEN, she had to do the whole driving course thing, which last 3 hours for her, and then wait for her partner who finished. Dave picked her up around 1 PM, and then forced her to sit in his boss' truck for 5 hours and didn't think to get her any food or give her his own food.

So they go to the food bank before coming back, and Bethy is exhausted and hungry and hot, but she wants to go and see if she can apply for a job at a nearby pizza place since she worked at their other location last year. Dave hands her $20 and tells her to go to Dollar Tree and get him Pepsi and ice cream while giving me a nasty look.

...I'm such an unfair person, huh? How dare I think to preserve what little money we have?

Anyway, I've gone around pulling everything we have together and it mostly is canned mixed veggies, off-brand unsweetened apple sauce, and what I have left in terms of granola bars.

But you know, we should be spending money on ice cream and soda instead of meals.

[krafterwrites]

Krafter Lore Masterpost

This is mostly just for people in the Eternal Afterparty server, but if anyone ever asks what's wrong with me, I can send them this post as an explanation. Here's, in roughly chronological order, a bunch of my lore

Part of my right ribs is just caved in for some reason. I have no clue why

When I was little I accidentally swished with water from a cup that had previously been used to hold water from our septic system (THE CUP WAS EMPTY AND DRY WHEN I FOUND IT AND THE WATER I SWISHED WITH WAS FROM THE TAP, I guess it just hadn't been cleaned because it was a plastic lego star wars cup). After my dad told me this, I freaked out because I thought I was going to get very sick/die. I vividly remember eating milk and graham crackers while very upset that night

One time I was watching All Hail King Julien while nauseous, and when Mort threw up in the show, it caused me to also throw up

I went to a trampoline park for some kid's birthday party, and they were putting this gas into the air to keep the park clean. It smelled bad, and it made me dehydrated. I also couldn't find the ingredients of it, so that was concerning

I dreamt I was in a McDonalds and slowly going further and further into the future of the McDonalds, eventually the McDonalds was in a creepy and evil forest and all the food sucked

I dreamt that I found Spamton and kept him as a pet, hiding him under my bed and giving him a laptop to scam people with

I dreamt that I went up and talked to some guy, and upon talking to him, the world around me faded and he said something about reality. Then I walked into a school gynasium and did some weird dark magic, which consumed and killed 8 people as part of a sacrifice. The dark magic that ate(?) them formed a big pillar, and then the pillar opened up, and the fucking Among Us imposter walked out of it. I killed 8 people in a sacrifice ritual so I could become an Among Us Imposter (Also Lulu thought I was hallucinating this because I think I forgot to mention it was a dream)

The Haunted Ring. I've already talked about this one so much, ask one of my friends about it

I dreamt that a tiny version of Scourge (Like about as high as my ankle) showed up in my room and started running around, so I trapped him under a cup and then released him outside

I went to a mini-golf course and had a pretty horrible time for several reasons. 1, it was like a hundred degrees out and there was no shade, so I was melting in the sun. 2, after finishing the golf and probably almost getting heatstroke, I got my mom to buy me so lemonade. I drank half the bottle, but it tasted funny, and then I realized that it had been expired for 3 years. I got bored, so I went over to some guy sitting on a bench to give him advice about the expired lemonade, but I stopped myself right after I began talking because I realized the guy was THE OWNER OF THE GOLF COURSE, WHO I HAD JUST BOUGHT SAID LEMONADE FROM LIKE 10 MINUTES AGO. I ran back into the golf course and hid on it because I was so embarrassed, even though I had stopped myself in time

Some anon last year kept asking me why Tails was full of love, like 4 times. They stopped sending in the asks after I said "Because he has love stored in his tails"

I got an anon saying "Krafture the flag" who I talked to for some time, and eventually found out who it was (It was Mikey and one of his friends)

I watched the entirety of Death Note in one day, I started watching it at about midnight while playing Minecraft, and kept going until I reached the end of the first half (Where L died) because I felt like I was going to die. After waking up at 2 PM, I ate some delicious fast food chicken and watched the second half. It turns out that I missed two entire episodes, though, which I watched several days later

I think that's all of the major ones, I am very tired right now though so I almost definitely forgot a few. Oh well

[pbandjesse]

We are back home. I have had the AC going for hours and it has helped a lot. I was not feeling great today. I think because I was holding it together so much with being worried about other people having a good time, but as soon as Jess left us this morning I kind of fell apart.

But it was still a good trip. And I enjoyed a lot of it. I did not enjoy feeling bad for other people's feelings. I can't control the weather. It's not my fault. But it still weighed on me pretty heavily and I tried my best to stay positive.

Sleep last night was better but it was very warm in our tent. James opened the flaps on our tent and that helped a little bit the fan died and that made it a little uncomfy.

When I got up Jess was starting to pack. I had done that last night so it would make the morning easier. Jess kept saying she would just do it in the morning and didn't seem to understand why I was doing it but we had a lot more to pack then her. And I knew it was going to take a while. So I was glad I had done what I did.

I did not feel good when I woke up. My body ached and my skin and hair felt terrible and I went and hugged James and then went to take a cold shower. Which helped me feel at least marginally better. My hair felt horrible still and I was itchy but at least I was mostly clean.

We would have quesadillas for breakfast again. Coffee for James and Jess. And then it was just packing. Trying to beat the sun.

Jess finished before us and she was just sort of milling about and I was just like. You don't have to wait for us. I won't be upset if you go home now. So we had a very gross hug and said goodbye. She would let us know when she got home safely.

We had another half hour or so of packing. We did not beat the sun and it would come out strong. James was hot. I was hot. We worked together to get everything in the car. But once the canopy came down I was like. I can't be outside. So James gave me to keys to put the car on and sit in the AC. I rewound my yarn ball. While James went to put the trash in the dumpster.

They were very sweaty when they came back and would sit in the AC for a second before I asked if we could take a picture. So James sat on the picnic table while we tried to get everything into frame. We had some giggles but we were both very ready to go home and it was a long drive.

The GPS said noon but we would make 2 stops so we didn't get back until 1230. And honestly we made great time. We had a few rains bursts but mostly it was pretty out. James put on a podcast. I worked on my knitting until I felt to sick to keep working on it. My stomach hurt very bad and I wanted to eat something.

We made a stop at Royal farms first. James got a coffee and a donut and I got some candy. Which made me feel slightly better until we would find a taco bell before the bay bridge

And was able to get food and felt a lot better after. Still desperately wanting a shower but at least I didn't feel like I was dying anymore.

When we finally pulled up to our apartment Mr Will was outside and we said hello. I carried in as much as I could, and James would bring everything else in so I could go shower.

Firstly I had to hold Sweetp. Who immediately started yelling at me. I held him for a bit. And then fed all the aquatics. And then ran into the shower.

I scrubbed my head and brushed my hair and tried my best to just absolutely exfoliate and scrub and shave and everything. I used 3 different soaps! I didn't want to get out but also wanted to lay down.

Once I was dry James was finishing up bringing things in and was putting things away. I had put the AC on and went to go lay down with a little video.

I set an alarm for 330. And I fell asleep really quickly. But I had some really awful dreams. I felt really upset when I woke up. James was showering so I just walked around the apartment with my feelings. I had a cookie. I calmed down.

I would be excited when James showed me that my Sweetp Tshirt came in the mail it's excellent and I love it. I would cut the cuffs off the sleeve and sewed them into folds and now it's perfect. Super silly and going to be a new favorite.

I had a phone call at 430 to answer some questions about the feild trip on Wednesday. This one will be a little tough only because they were given the old info first. But I think even with the weirdness and pains there well still have a really good feildtrip. Plus the teachers seem really excited and I am excited about that!!

I would move to the living room next. I cut sweetp's nails. I made two tiktoks. I had the last taco from taco bell. And eventually James made me a vegetarian chicken patty. It was a nice evening.

I would eventually go and unpack a bunch of the clothes and stuff. James did laundry. And I made outfits for the week and cleabed out my backpack for work. I spent time cuddling Sweetp. And organizing my jewelry.

I would really like to get a better display case fory jewelry. Something I can hang up. I'm going to do some research on that.

Now me and James have been hanging out in bed for a while now they are reading. I am watching videos and talking to Celia. But I am getting really tired. So it is time for bed.

Tomorrow I have a group at camp in the afternoon. And me and James have work to do together to get some videos put together. I hope it's a fun day.

Sleep well everyone. Take care of yourself.

[shellylynn89]

Minnesota Yacht Club Festival - July 19 & 20

Buckle up, this is gonna get long.

This was an exciting one to go to; it was the inaugural year of the festival, and just cool to have a solid festival that didn't require out of state travel. I was ready for a good time after the past 24 hours - a full day of work, followed by an evening 5 mile run (yes, the same one I skipped last summer's Fall Out Boy concert for!), driving for 2+ hours, only to arrive at our hotel shortly after midnight - in the early hours of the Microsoft outage. Cory & Tom kept me awake and distracted as we waited in the hotel lobby with a half dozen strangers, all exhausted and desperate for our pre-booked rooms. Nearly an hour later, we got to our room and went to bed. I barely slept.

Fueled by a Red Bull and an almond croissant from the Italian bakery down the block, we walked the mile or so to Harriet Island in the sun. While descending the massive staircases, we wondered how climbing back up them would feel at the end of the day.

Gully Boys, a local Twin Cities band (and the first act of the day) were starting their set on the main stage as we walked in. I liked their sound and anecdotes. We walked around a bit while they played; since it was a smaller festival with only 2 stages, you could hear the music throughout most of the grounds. Another local band, Harbor & Home played next on the other stage. They sounded great and had a good rapport with the crowd. We went to get food after their set, and ate delicious, enormous slices of pizza in the grass while listening to Morgan Wade. We wandered around a bit more after eating, and I noticed a dragonfly sitting on the zipper of the crossbody bag I had on, just left of center over my stomach. I've seen people symbolize dragonflies as lost loved ones, and immediately wondered if this was my dad. The longer it stayed perched the more I felt certain, and nearly 5 minutes later when it flew away I felt a strange calm and comfort that stuck with me the rest of the day.

Shortly after 4pm, we refilled our water bottles and hit the porta potties for the last time until the end of the night and made our way back to the main stage, where Joan Jett and The Blackhearts would be playing at 4:40. Originally, we had planned to bounce back and forth between the two stages all day, but when the Black Crowes cancelled due to illness, we decided to just stay at the main stage through the evening; everyone else we were excited for on day 1 was playing there. I had seen Joan Jett and The Blackhearts once before, at Warped Tour in 2006. At that time, I was surprised to see such veterans on the lineup, but was thrilled to get the opportunity to see them. They played a great set, and Joan Jett sounded and looked fantastic. Eighteen summers later, it was a very similar experience. They sounded great (and Joan still looks fantastic), opening with Victim of Circumstance, then speeding into Cherry Bomb. Other than brief song introductions, they preferred rocketing from one song to the next with minimal bantering and interacting with the crowd. That made for a tight, energetic set with a lot of solid covers (Everyday People, Crimson & Clover, etc.). Of course, they closed with Bad Reputation, which feels even better to sing along to in a crowd full of people.

We stayed in the crowd after they left the stage, checking our phones and taking any opportunity to squeeze closer to the stage. We could hear the faint, vague sound of Durry playing at the opposite stage in the distance.

An hour later I felt a distinct energy shift, and Gwen Stefani pranced onstage singing The Sweet Escape, flanked by what felt like too many dancers for the stage. While I thought the last set was energetic, Gwen was radiating excitement. I grew up on No Doubt, learning all the words to Don't Speak and Just a Girl sometime in elementary school. I didn't love her solo work as much, but it's still plenty of fun. I went into the show expecting mostly solo songs, and was pleasantly surprised when she sang Sunday Morning second, followed by three more No Doubt songs in a row. Soon after, she surprised the crowd by bringing out Blake Shelton to sing their song Purple Irises together. It was sweet to see them together - him in an unassuming button down and jeans, her in a bizarre mess of blue plaid and fishnet - a seemingly random pairing that simultaneously looks completely right. The second half of her set was more dominated by her solo work (though by the end, it was a pretty even split between solo songs and No Doubt songs). She talked to the crowd about having family here - in Minneapolis, before correcting herself, "No, I know this is St. Paul! I know they're not the same!" The minor acknowledgement felt like she understood the area well enough to speak on it this way. She got offstage and reached over the barrier during Luxurious. It smelled like Victoria's Secret Love Spell and weed in the crowd. The vibes were immaculate. Gwen said, "This song was written back when I still lived in Anaheim, California, but I feel like this song is a little more relevant now" right before the band kicked in with the intro to Just a Girl. It felt cathartic to sing along in this specific moment in time and history. That was followed by Hollaback Girl, a perfect set closer, and a good shift from the anger that began bubbling up when I thought about how relevant Just a Girl really is.

At this point, I was grateful that The Black Crowes had to drop from the lineup. They were set to play on the opposite stage between Gwen Stefani and Alanis Morissette, and by this point we had worked our way up to having only a few people in front of us. While Alanis had not been as constant a music staple as No Doubt had been, Jagged Little Pill got me through some very difficult middle school years. This was easily the set I was most excited for out of the whole weekend.

To say the least, Alanis did not disappoint me. She opened with Hand In My Pocket, followed by Right Through You, two Jagged Little Pill classics. During the latter, the screen behind the stage showed statistics about abuse towards women. It was so fitting for the song, and while bleak, felt important and unsurprising to see in the context. A few songs later she sang Hands Clean, another dark song that I didn't fully understand when I was growing up, but obsessed over nonetheless. It always stuck with me in some way. It's one of those songs for me that will randomly pop in my head when I haven't heard it in a few years and I just feel like, I have to listen to this right now, and proceed to obsess over it again for three months before forgetting it again for three years. She continued through her set that was consistently peppered with songs from Jagged Little Pill (playing nearly the whole album by the end), and eventually hit Mary Jane. This was one that made me feel some way when I first heard it in the fifth grade. My excitement continued to get swallowed by emotion. She followed that with Perfect, a song I definitely listened to on repeat for probably hours on end in middle school, and I started crying like I did when I listened to it back then, screaming along to every word louder than I ever could in my childhood bedroom. Next, she brought her daughter & daughter's friend onstage to sing the first half of Ironic with her. It was very sweet. She made a perfect lyrical update I wasn't expecting - "it's like meeting the man of my dreams, then meeting his beautiful husband". My tears dried over the next few songs, and then I was screaming along in a whole different way to You Oughta Know. Alanis left the stage my mind blanked on anything she hadn't - but should've - done. How could she follow up You Oughta Know? But there's no way she's bailing with almost 10 minutes of set time left? A lone spotlight flicked on, shining on Alanis as a piano began playing the opening notes to Uninvited. Of course, how could I forget this song? Although I had been aware of her magnetic stage presence since Hand In My Pocket, the sparse lighting and accompaniment enhanced it to an overwhelming degree. The summer night bugs flocked under the light, buzzing around Alanis in a way that added to the already eerie atmosphere. Goosebumps covered my arms, I felt transfixed. As I wondered if we'd just get a one song encore, I heard the opening notes to Thank U, and immediately fell apart again. This is another song that pops in my head from time to time and results in a months-long obsession. How could I have forgotten it? I kept myself quiet long enough to record part of the song, and then let everything go. HOW 'BOUT UNABASHEDLY BAWLING YOUR EYES OUT? I had to catch my breath after the song was over. I'd never been so emotionally moved at a concert, which is saying a lot.

The crowd began to disperse and Cory, Tom and I started heading for the exit. They casually agreed that Alanis was "pretty awesome". I wiped my eyes and softly added, "I feel like I did some real inner child work in there." They nodded. We climbed the stairs to the bridge and headed back to the hotel, discussing the day we had and what we had to look forward to tomorrow. I honestly didn't even care, I got what I needed.

I didn't sleep, again, but was still riding high enough from the day before to handle it. We arrived a bit later than the day before, and didn't pay much attention to any act until Soul Asylum. I had been told they're terrible live, but we figured we might as well see them. As we listened to them, I didn't understand why I had been warned so heavily. Runaway Train was a great nostalgic moment. After their set, Tom and Cory agreed they sounded better than the last time they'd seen them. We made a game plan for the rest of the day as we ate sloppy (but delicious) tacos. The sun was hotter than the day before, and we breathed a sigh of relief everytime we felt it dip behind a cloud. We vaguely paid attention to Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue and Hippocampus before we worked our way into the crowd for The Offspring. They were the act I was most excited for that day, and Cory's pick for the whole weekend. Like Joan Jett and The Blackhearts, I saw them at Warped Tour long ago, and they're easily in my top 3 favorite Warped Tour sets. They've never been one of my favorite bands, but I've always liked them, and they left such a strong impression when I saw them before, I knew I was in for a good time. They opened strong with Come Out and Play, and I couldn't help but think of my dad. He would love this for me and would want to hear my stories after the fact. They continued into an energetic set full of hits (including my favorite, Want You Bad) and silly banter between Dexter and Noodles. "I've got a good feeling about this, I think this may just be one of the best shows we've ever had, I think that's gonna happen today...top 5, I don't know"

"This crowd has the potential to be the best thing that's happened to rock and roll ever!"

The crowd roared.

"That's quite a statement"

"I think it could happen with you guys!"

I enjoyed the hyperbole. A bunch of beach balls magically appeared bouncing over the crowd during Why Don't You Get A Job?, and they ultimately ended their set with Self Esteem. It was just as much fun as I had hoped (thankfully Cory felt the same).

After much debate, we left the crowd and walked to the outskirts of the other stage's crowd to see Gary Clark Jr. Cory and I had seen him before, at Lollapalooza in 2019 and we both certainly wanted to see him again. Tom was supposed to be with us in 2019, but had to back out last minute thanks to a rough appendectomy. He was torn - he wanted to see Gary Clark Jr., but also wanted to be close to the stage for Red Hot Chili Peppers, who played immediately after at the opposite stage. We ultimately stayed somewhere in between the stages, close enough to hear Gary Clark Jr. through a few killer guitar solos and the majority of his set before weaving our way back into RHCP's crowd 10 or so minutes before they started.

Of course, I grew up listening to Red Hot Chili Peppers, and have casually liked them, less with time as I learn more about the band themselves, honestly. Regardless, I knew they'd put on a fun show. At 8:58, I heard the music start and saw the lights pick up. Simultaneously I could still hear Gary Clark Jr. in the background, closing his set out with This Land - a powerful song about racism. Something about RHCP starting 2 minutes early and disrupting him (during that song, especially) left a bad taste in my mouth. I tried to brush it off like I tried to brush off how much Anthony Kiedis creeps me out - then he sprang out on stage in a fishnet shirt. Nope, couldn't brush off the creepiness. I was able to at least focus on what was in front of me and be in the moment enough to enjoy a well done show. After a little intro jam they got everyone going with Can't Stop, followed by Scar Tissue. Two nostalgic (albeit, for different times) favorites of mine. There were a few newer songs I didn't really know, but the trippy lighting and visuals on the screens were enough to keep my attention. Singing Californication at the top of my lungs felt good. By The Way hit me just right and I felt so grateful to be there. They left the stage after, only to come back for an encore of I Could Have Lied, and of course, Give It Away. I was impressed at Anthony Kiedis' ability to still sing it just right. It was the perfect, fun closer for the weekend.

We talked about our overall experience on the walk back to the hotel, all agreeing that the food options left a bit to be desired, and we heard the bathrooms got a bit dicey towards the end, but in total, pretty solid - especially for the first year of the event. We had each been most excited for different acts, and each of them being our respective favorites (Alanis for me, The Offspring for Cory, and Red Hot Chilli Peppers for Tom) by the end of the weekend. It was a satisfying end to a weekend that started so chaotically. I hope next year's lineup is just as good.

[itsalwayswellattheworldsend]

Book 2 Chapter 37 - How Ralph Justed With the Aliens

Text Audio

Synopsis:

Ralph cleans up at the jousting tournament.

Summary:

"Now make we an end of it! We have no might against this youngling, man to man: or else would Otter have done it. This comes of learning a craft diligently."

Meanwhile, Captain Otter took Ralph to the lists[1], which were being hastily set up. Now the young man of Upmeads stood beside a good horse which they had brought him, and Otter was having a friendly conversation with him. But Ralph saw the Lord come out of the pavilion and take his seat on an ivory chair set on a ridge close to the edge of the lists, this being the customary place of honor at such games in the lands of Utterbol. Shortly afterwards, the Lady’s women came out of their tents and—being led by Agatha—went to the Queen’s pavilion, after which they emerged once more like a garden of moving flowers, surrounding a woman so fair, that even at a distance Ralph stared at her, noticing her beauty. She sat down beside the Lord, and Ralph was sure she was the Queen whom he had seen when they first came to the pavilion. In truth, Joyce was almost as tall as the Queen, and as fair-skinned, but otherwise was far more beautiful.

Otter said to Ralph: “I must leave you here, lad, and go to the other side, since I’ll be running against you.”

“Are you running first?”

“No, I’m last,” said Otter, “they’ll test you against one of the sergeants first, and if he wins then it’s all over and you’ll be in a bad way. Otherwise, they’ll find two more, and then it will be my turn. Good luck, lad.”

Then he rode off, and one of the sergeants came up to Ralph, giving him a spear and telling him to mount up. When Ralph had done so, the sergeant said: “You’re to run at whoever’s on the other side at the third sounding of the horn. Are you ready?”

“Yes, yes,” said Ralph, “but I see the spear hasn’t been blunted, so we’re playing at sharps, as they say.”[2]

“Are you afraid, boy?” said the sergeant, who was old and bent, “if that’s the case, go and tell the Lord. But you’ll find he won’t have his game completely spoiled, and will find some way to make you entertaining.”

Ralph said: “I was just joking; I don’t think I’m any closer to death today than I have been twice already this summer, perhaps even more often.”

“It’s a bad idea to joke about things that involve my Lord. Now you’ve heard what I have to say, so get to it.”

Then he left, and Ralph laughed and waved his spear in the air, finding it not very strong, but comforting himself with the idea that his opponents would be using similar weapons.

The horn blew three times and Ralph urged his horse forward like one very used to tilting, but he kept good control of it. He saw the man coming against him with his spear already in its rest and thought that he looked nice and big, but he could tell that the man was poorly suited for this and was struggling with his horse like one who is not willing to trust his mount in a charge. Indeed, he rode on so awkwardly that it was clear he’d never land a good blow. He swerved as they came on each other, and the point of his spear never went near Ralph, who turned his horse toward him a little and caught the man by the armor around his neck, dragging him clean out of his saddle. He let him drop and rode quietly back to his place, dismounting to check his saddle and gear.

 He heard a great laughter rising up from the ring of men and women, but the Lord of Utterbol shouted: “Bring out someone who doesn’t eat my food for nothing, and put that coward aside until the games are done so I can have him pay a bit for the food and drink I’ve wasted on him.”

Ralph got back in the saddle and saw a very big man come out at the other end of the lists, and at first he wondered if he could match him, but then he judged that the man’s horse did not seem very good. The horn blew and he pressed on, and his opponent met him squarely in the middle of the list, but he aimed his spear poorly as though her were going to stab rather than brace against it, and Ralph turned the blow away with his shield. Ralph struck him on the shoulder and broke his spear, the head  piercing the armor and breaking off in the wound, but the man did not fall from his saddle.

The Lord shouted: “Well, Black Anselm, you’ve done a bit better—still, you’re quite big and skilled to be beaten by this young man.”[3]

So the man was helped off the field and Ralph went back to his spot.

Then the next man was brought out to run against Ralph, and it went much as one might expect: Ralph hit him in the middle of the shield and the spear did not break, so the man was sent flying from his horse.

Ralph beat or wounded six of the sturdiest men of Utterbol in this way, and then he went against Otter three times. In the first two bouts, they broke their spears against each other, and on the third pass Otter hit him so squarely in the shield that he nearly fell out of his saddle and lost control of his horse, but he just barely stayed in.

Then the Lord shouted: “Now we will end this. Clearly we cannot overthrow this young man one-on-one, or else Otter would have managed it. He has learned his craft diligently.”

Ralph dismounted and took off his helmet to wait for someone to tell him what to do. A rough-looking sergeant came and brought him a cup of wine and said: “Young man, you are to drink this, then go see my Lord; and I think you’re in his good graces. So, if you are not too great to show some mercy, I would ask that you put in a word  for poor Redhead, that first man who did such a poor job. My Lord intends to have him set up, head down and butt in the air, to be used as a target for our bowmen.[4] He’ll be lucky if he dies to the third shot and not the twentieth.”

“Yes, certainly,” said Ralph, “I’ll do that, even if it angers the Lord.”

“Oh, you won’t anger him,” said the man. “Like I said, he favors you greatly right now. And could you also put in a good word for me once you’re raised to greatness? I brought you a good bowl of wine, after all.”

“Of course I will,  if I ever make it safely to Utterbol.”

“That’s a bad wish for someone who wants to do well in Utterbol. But come on, let’s not lollygag.”

He led Ralph to the Lord, who was still sitting in his chair beside that fair woman. Ralph bowed to him, but glanced at that beautiful, queen-like woman, and he found her both so proud-looking and white-skinned that she seemed wondrous, like a queen of the fairies. As he did, he thought that this was the same Queen he had stood before earlier in the day when they had first arrived—therefore, he did not doubt the woman’s royalty.

The Lord said to him: “Well, young man, you have done well, even better than you promised. And since you were using real spears, I do not doubt that you would do well in battle, if it came to that. So now I am thinking I will use you for another purpose than I’d considered before, because I believe that you are good enough to be one of my men. Now, if you have anything to ask for from me—so long as it’s not too much—I will give it to you.”

Ralph knelt and said: “Great Lord, I thank you, but as I am in a foreign land and seeking great things, I know no gift I would ask for myself except my freedom, and I do not think you would give me that. But, if you are still angry with the man whom I first defeated, I ask that you forgive him for his bad luck.”

“Bad luck!” said the Lord, “Why, from where I sat it looked like he was downright afraid of you. If my men become soft-hearted cowards, where will I be then? But tell me, Otter, what’s the name of that man?”

“He’s called Redhead, Lord,” said Otter.

“And how is he in battle?”

“Not so bad, my Lord,” said Otter. “In this case, like the rest of us, he was unused to his gear. It’d be bad if we didn’t have him next time we were in a pinch. It would be enough to beat him with straps a few dozen times, it would not be the first time it happened to him.”

“Ha!” the Lord laughed, “and why, Otter, why?”

“Because he was already beat up from the jousting,” said Otter.

“Then we will keep him for the next time we need him. Let him go scot free and do better next time.[5] There is your gift, knight, and on another day you may ask for something more. Now David will take care of you, and when we come to Utterbol we shall see what I do with you.”

Ralph got up and thanked him, and David came and took him to his tent. There, he was very subservient as though Ralph were now a powerful man who might do him some good if he felt like it.

And the Lord went back into the Tower.

As for the Lady, she stayed in her pavilion with her many fears and desires, until Agatha came to her and said: “My Lady, so far everything has gone smoothly.”

“I assumed from the noise and shouts of the crowd that he was doing well. But tell me, how did he do?” asked the Lady.

“My Lady,” said Agatha, “he knocked our men around easily, and seemed to hardly have to try.”

“And Joyce, what about her?”

“She looked like a queen, every inch of her,” Agatha continued. “She is tall, and in truth some people stared at her, but not many knew who she was, since she is new to our house. Though all that matters is that our new knight thought it was you sitting there. My Lord was quite happy, and now he has taken her by the hand and led her into the Tower.”

The Lady reddened and scowled, and said: “And he… did he come near her?”

“Oh yes, he came and stood before my Lord for a good while, and then kneeled to ask that he pardon one of our men who had done poorly in the tilting. Yes, he was close enough to touch her if he had dared, and to smell the perfume of her clothes.[6] He took the opportunity to look at her from the corner of his eye, though she did not favor him with a smile.”

The Lady jumped up, her cheeks burning, and walked around angrily for a while, trying to find her words. At last she said: “When we get back to Utterbol, my lord will see his new thrall again, and will forget about Joyce. Then I’ll do with her what I want, and she will learn that I am truly the greatest woman in Utterbol! Ha! what do you think? Why are you smiling at me like that? I know what you’re thinking. It’s a good thing that this young man has not met that new thrall, Ursula.[7] In truth, I say that if I could get my hands on her, I would get her to finally say why she always wears those beads around her neck.”

“Now, my Lady,” said Agatha, “you’re ruining the beauty of your face again. You should calm down—everything is going better than you expected. Did you get our Lord to promise me immunity?”

“Yes, he swore on the edge of the sword that you can say what you want and neither he nor any other will punish you for it.”

“Good,” continued Agatha, “Then I will go to him tomorrow morning after Joyce has left. Keep your chin up these two days we’re staying in the Tower Dale: trust me that this very evening I will set things going that will work and grow, and one day will make you very happy.”

So their discussion went.

Notes:

[1] Basically the jousting field. I had previously changed the term, but I have a feeling it’ll pop up a lot in this chapter so I’m just gonna keep it and explain what it means here.

[2a] Here’s where I explain jousting/tilting (fun fact: the term “tilt” in this context apparently dates to the 1500s, which may serve to date this story a bit better). The idea is that two knights wearing armor and wielding spears/lances (usually blunted to make it less lethal, but not in this case) ride their horses past each other, and as they pass they attack each other with their weapons, attempting to knock each other off their horses.

[2b] Specifically, as they pass, the two combatants level their spears at each other, each striking the other in the shield, using the horse’s speed to drive the blow. On armor, there is a hook to rest the haft of the spear in, taking some of the weight off of the knight, and helping hold it steady while riding. It’s very much a game of poise and stance, with the winner being the one who best understands how to transfer their force to unseat the other without losing their own position. Deflect the opposing spear with your shield while making sure your blow goes straight against the other knight’s body.

[2c] Even with blunted weapons, jousting was a dangerous game (hence the Lady of Utterbol’s worry for Ralph’s safety), with lances splintering, piercing armor, people being knocked off their horses, sometimes dragged along behind it.

[3] I amend my previous guess about an in-world play and replace it with the idea that Black Anselm and the other guy are both real people and that Black Anselm is bad at chess.

[4] I swear I’ve seen this depicted as a method of torture/execution, but looking for it now I can’t find anything about it.

[5] “Scot free” is the original phrase used here. Apparently, “scot” here refers to taxation, and someone who was “scot free” was given an exemption from the charges.

[6] Perfume in this time period was applied not just to the skin, but also clothing, accessories, and basically anything else you wanted to not smell bad. Something smelling good was akin to it being clean, so fancy clothes being treated with perfume was a thing.

[7] When the Lady of Utterbol talks about punishing a woman she feels slighted by, I’m not sure if she’s talking about Joyce (who drew the eye of both the Lord of Utterbol and Ralph), or this mysterious new thrall named Ursula, whom the Lord is very taken with and whom we definitely haven’t met before.

[8] A beautiful thrall, newly come to Utterbol, who has captured the King’s heart and wears a set of beads? How mysterious!

Map: