#(that being said the films are going to be fantastic it's just too bad that everything as always happens at the same time)

[auras-moonstone]

can you write something of jack x shy!reader that are either working on a romcom together or she’s his interviewer?

hi! i actually really like how this turned out. hope you like it too💓

enchanted to meet you — jack champion

word count: 1,409

pairing: jack champion x fem!interviewer!reader

summary: y/n feels scared for her first job as an interviewer but jack’s warming demeanour makes her feel more comfortable as the interview goes on.

Y/N’S HANDS WERE SHAKY AND SHE CONSTANTLY HAD TO RUB THEM ON HER DRESS BECAUSE OF HOW SWEATY THEY WERE. To be fair, she was only 18 years old and doing her first interview. It was very sudden, she just started working on this known magazine and the woman who was supposed to go to the Scream premiere had an accident so they just sent the only person available: Y/N Y/L. And of course the person she had to interview was Jack fucking Champion—the six foot tall boy with unbelievable gorgeous factions and a killer smile.

Y/N was probably the youngest person in there. Everyone seemed to know each other and she was just there, alone and feeling extremely scared and anxious. She used to have a plan—start getting over her shyness with chill interviews so that in the future she could be ready to interview famous celebrities. But no, she was straight off sent to the premiere of one of the most successful franchises of all time. She was going to throw up.

The silhouette of the boy started to make his way to her “Hi!” his excited voice greeted her, pulling her out of her thoughts.

Y/N looked up, her eyes meeting a very bright brown set of eyes. The boy was even prettier in person (and taller). He was wearing a white tank top below his stylish black jacket and black trousers. He was so handsome. And did she mention he was really tall?

“Hi, sorry. I was lost in my thoughts” she apologised, her cheeks already turning red. That was a typical feature of her—always expect her to blush, her blood always betrayed her.

Jack was instantly enchanted by her sweet and soft voice. He had never felt so nervous during an interview—probably because he had never been interviewed by someone his age, and certainly not by anyone close to being as breathtaking as her.

“It’s okay” he assured her, his smile so shiny it almost blinded her.

Y/N smiled thankful “First, I’d like to congratulate you on your movie! I got to see you on Avatar and thought you did an amazing job. It’s fantastic that you got to work in such iconic franchises! Were you a fan of the Scream movies before getting the role?” her voice, thankfully, didn’t show how insanely nervous she was. But the hand holding the mic certainly did. Jack noticed her shaky grip, and he wanted so bad to put his hand on hers to comfort her, but he knew it would be too much.

“Thank you so much, you’re really sweet. And yeah, it’s honestly a dream come true” Jack pulled his dazzling smile and Y/N couldn’t help but take a quick look at it. He had perfect teeth, holy shit. “I watched the movies before we started filming and I absolutely loved them!”.

“Can I ask who your favourite Ghostface is?” Y/N questioned him. Very original, Y/N, she said to herself. Why did they hire her? She was really not qualified for this.

“Oh, I love that question!” Jack exclaimed. “You know, I always say Stu but now that I have re-watched the movies and read some opinions online, I also really like Jill! What are yours?”

Y/N’s eyes widened in surprise, she was not expecting him to ask her questions. It wasn’t usual during interviews for reporters to be questioned “Oh- I- I think Roman, Stu and Jill” she answered nervously. His eyes were so strongly focused on her that she almost melted on the spot.

“Roman is also a really good choice. You have great taste! And by the way, I love your outfit” Jack complimented her, looking at the black dress—it was like the one Courtney Cox used at the beginning of Scream 2. Y/N stood still. Did he know the effect those words had on her? Because she was two seconds away from collapsing.

“Thank you for saying that… your outfit is amazing too” she brushed it off with a little laugh.

“Thank you! Look, I have ghostface socks!” he said in an enthusiastic tone. She look down to see the black socks with patters of the mask and couldn’t help but smile.

“That’s adorable” the comment slipped out of her mouth before she could stop it. But far from being uncomfortable, Jack’s smile grew bigger. “Did you all know who was playing Ghostface from the beginning or was it something you found out towards the end of the shooting?”

“Actually, we didn’t know who would be playing Ghostface until the revealing scene” he answered, and admired the way her eyes shone in awe. “I take it you are a really big fan of the franchise”.

Y/N let out a nervous laugh, feeling a bit embarrassed “Is my enthusiasm that readable? I’m sorry, I literally grew up watching those movies”

“And now you are at the premiere interviewing the cast! That’s amazing!” he exclaimed loudly.

His happy aura was really contagious and it made her feel a little less shy “Well, thank you, Jack. Do you have any future projects?”

“Yes! I actually did a movie with Liam Neeson that will be coming out soon called Retribution and another one called Freaky Tales! So yeah, I’m very excited” he balanced on his feet.

“That’s amazing! Congratulations” Y/N gave him a genuine smile. Then they heard someone calling his name, telling him it was time to go. “Thank you for you time, Jack. Hope you felt comfortable”.

“I did! It was fun, and you were excellent” Jack smiled down at her. The team kept calling him but he wouldn’t move, trying to decide if he should just ask for her instagram or if it would be too weird. Maybe she had a partner, god he hoped not. Before he could even ask her name, Mason came to him and grabbed his arm.

“Jack, we have to go” his friend told him. Jack sighed, waving at the beautiful interviewer and cursing himself for not being quick enough.

Y/N turned around, ready to walk back to the van, completely wonderstruck by the charming young actor. She just prayed that wasn’t the last time they saw each other.

THE INTERVIEW WENT VIRAL IN LESS THAN AN HOUR, AND EVEN FOR A FAMOUS COMPANY, IT WAS UNEXPECTED. The people were going wild on the comment section, pointing out how the actor looked at his interviewer in complete amazement. No one would have thought it was going to have such a repercussion. Especially not Y/N.

championslover man was in AWE

liked by masonthegooding

landrydaylight pls the way he looks at her i need them to be together!!!

liked by masonthegooding, jennaortega, baileybass, jamieflatters and more.

haunted.ethan “look, i have ghostface socks” really jack??? 😂😂😂

devyn_nekoda i can’t believe he said that omg

jackchampion I WAS NERVOUS OKAY LET ME BE

ghostfacelandry the evolution on this two min interview was so heartwarming??? like she was really shy at first but then you could tell she got used to his presence omg i adore them

jacksrep the way she blushes!! girl is honestly strong cause i would’ve passed out from having him in front of me

spiderboyjack let’s go to the important thing: does anyone have her insta????

championslover i just found it, it’s y/n.y/l/n (holy shit she’s so pretty!!!)

jacksgf oh jack… i get it now!!!

jackchampion championslover thank you for your service 🫡

championslover oh he’s down BAD

liked by jackchampion

jackchampion started following you

Y/N stared at the notification in shock. And then her heart stopped when she saw another notification, this time it was a direct message.

hey! it’s jack

i really wanted to get your instagram the day of the interview but honestly i was too scared

hi jack!

well, i’m glad your fandom (who honestly should be called by the fbi) found it.

hahaha me too tbh

and i’m going to be forward, i can’t stop thinking about you ever since the interview and it was killing me that i didn’t even get your name (by the way i’m praying you don’t have a partner).

i can’t stop thinking about you either (nope, i’m single)

you made me feel really comfortable, and that is not something i can say about a lot of people… especially not those who i talked to for two minutes

i don’t know.. you give that special kind of vibe very few people have

you know how to make someone blush ☺️

i heard it was your first interview. i can’t believe it, you were amazing!

thank you! i was so nervous but it could’ve gone way worse

you made it easier, you were really sweet

i’m glad i was your first interview then :)

i was wondering if you’d like to have dinner with me tomorrow? i’d really like to get to know you better

i would love to, jack!

great! send me your address and i’ll pick you up at seven.

can’t wait 🤍

me neither😫 wanna facetime???

sure! text me xxx xxxx

[cloudmancy]

I have no desire to get you in trouble but I would be curious to hear your thoughts on the new episode and the preview because I also have.. thoughts and I'm interested in what other people clocked as not great or kinda.. idk. other people's concerns, because I have had a lot of them and I never see people really talk about those things

they're doing a new format this season where they film a bunch of rp episodes in a row then take a break when there's a battle so the crew can get the battleset ready, so I understand the dissonance. but the tone of this episode from the tone of last episode was SO jarring. I was ready to chew drywall at the end of episode 17 but we head into the episode 18 fight and at the end all I can say is... damn! that sure is a battle that happened. the entire fight felt really low-stakes even though objectively a few of the bad kids were in mortal danger, but the mood at the table was so relaxed and chill and there was almost no roleplay at all... which drove me so crazy

>no rp except for fun silly party stuff (no callbacks to the adaine elven oracle in a storm thing? after all the fun setup last time??)

>fought 8 different antagonists and none of them said a word

>nobody questioned why or what oisin's grandma or all those dragon were doing there they just started taking them out one by one like raid battles in world of warcraft

>cassandra/nightmare king showed up only to not make any impact or get a single word in

>dos2 lady vengeance fight did the floating boat/ballistas/dragon fight better SMH

and then after all of that we're headed straight into ANOTHER battle episode judging by the preview... and it's against the rat grinders and porter/jace! let me out I want PLOT & DIALOGUE fhjy cannot end like this (5 hours straight of battle where they just kill everyone that moves). there's 2 eps left so I really hope they do the last ep as a 4 hour long roleplay only epilogue episode because as we've all seen ending campaigns on a battle leads to frankly really rushed character and world decisions. it's ultra disappointing too because I loved this entire season so much so far. the setup and buildup and plot points and mystery of fhjy is the best they've ever done it in dimension 20 period

ep 18 fhjy battle was a letdown to me... not giving the party an rp episode after 3 hours of loredump + going straight into a final battle without being able to interact with the world after gaining info is bad. they should've had a chance to process everything they learned about house sunstone, porter's plan, the rat grinders being used as ascension fodder, whatever the whole deal behind ambrosia and lucy frostkettle and why they needed a helios cleric in buddy IN ROLEPLAY. I don't want all this stuff explained to me after the battle by brennan or in some throwaway lines in the adventuring party - I want the bad kids to talk to people! I want them to investigate! I want fig to pull some BS with porter knowing the full extent of all his plans. it really sucks for us as an audience too to be hit with all this lore and get approximately 0 time for it to sink into the implications of how the worldbuilding was shaped by it or realizations of "ohhh that's why that happened at the beginning of the season" before we go straight into killing everyone.

with the way this is going I don't have any confidence they're gonna be able to actually empathize at all with the rat grinders too before they start lopping heads off because in battle episodes everyone kind of just. becomes numbers and an objective to take out except for pet favourite npcs of the cast. and they've mostly been interacting with the rat grinders as nuisances all season 😭 I'm PRAYING to be proven wrong and the last 2 episodes of this are fantastic but it's not looking good folks

[lyricswrittenbythesecretdreamer]

Haunted Pt 2

Hi everyone! Thanks so much for the fantastic reception on Part 1, it really made me want to write some more to this little story! Here's Part 2, I hope you enjoy it as much as the last one.

Summary: Reader remembers a party she was at, and the Ghoul causes trouble in a saloon.

“Are you enjoying the party?”   

I looked over to my left to see Barb Howard approaching me. She was completely impeccable – her dark skin was glowing, and she had the best-looking hair in the room. Her dress was a beautiful peach colour, and she had a string of pearls around her neck that were probably worth more than all the alcohol spilling at the party. Beside her, I felt ever so slightly dull.   

“Oh, me and Jackie are having such a good time,” I nodded towards the toilets, “he’s currently taking a bathroom break.”   

I felt the need to accentuate my husband’s appearance next to Barb, and I breathed a sigh of relief when Jackie appeared from the toilet and smiled widely at us.   

“Barb, this is a spectacular event. You lot at Vault-Tec certainly know how to throw a party!” he laughed, and I felt a wave of jealousy come over me as she laughed alongside him. Jackie was so good at this – talking to people he barely knew, making them feel like he really cared about them even if he didn’t give a whatsits. “Me and my wife here barely get a chance to go out together at the minute, this filming is taking awfully long.”   

I noticed he winced as he said this, and Barb’s face fell ever so slightly. The one thing we’d both agreed not to mention tonight was the film because we knew I was already on Barb’s bad side after she’d seen The Man from Calabasas. I’d never taken her as a jealous type, but after the premier had finished, Barb had become immediately cold towards me. Her irritation at my presence got worse with Under the Covers, and this one we were currently shooting often had visits to set from Cooper’s wife, who apparently was under the impression I was screwing her husband.   

Not even my marriage had convinced her otherwise and she’d been invited to the wedding.  

“Well, you and I are both feeling the loneliness from our spouses’ schedules, although Cooper’s is most definitely busier.”   

I sucked in a deep breath at her veiled insult, but Jackie just put his hand on the small of my back and pointed to the corner.   

“Look, darling, there’s Charlie,” he smiled politely at Barb, and she forced one back at us. “my apologies, Mrs Howard, but I think we’re being waved over.”   

We walked away from her, and Jackie let out an unhappy sigh.   

“God, you’d think that you’d be flirting with that woman’s husband off-camera with the way she acts towards you.”   

“I barely flirt with him on camera, darling.” I chuckled, and he took me in his arms, placed his hands on my waist and kissed me deeply.  

“I love you, darling.” He said softly, and I smiled back, feeling myself getting lost in his gaze.  

“I love you too, Jackie,” I replied, “I love you very much.”   

***  

“Earth to Little Miss Ryder, are you even fuckin’ listening to me?”   

I turned to the Ghoul, who was waving a gloved hand in my face. I jumped slightly and sent him an uneasy nod. We were walking past the remains of what seemed to be a forest, with trees that were coming back stronger than they’d grown before. Walking along the treeline gave us a bit of shade from the burning sun, but the Ghoul had been shifty since we’d left the hut that morning, looking in every direction at once as if something was going to appear all at once out of nowhere.  

“Yeah, sorry. Just got distracted thinking about someone. I mean, something.”   

“Well, you better keep fuckin’ focused 'cause I think I can see what passed that hut last night.” He gestured in front of me, and I gasped as I saw what he meant.   

Up in the distance, shuffling around aimlessly, was another ghoul.   

“Has it seen us?” I whispered, but he shook his head.   

“Nah, I don’t think so,” he hissed back, “but we’re gonna have to pass it at some point, and it’s definitely feral.”   

In front of us, the feral ghoul began to turn towards us and suddenly I was being pulled behind a tree. He pulled out his gun and gestured for me to do the same.   

“Hey, uh, I should probably have asked you this before, but what’s your name? I don’t want to go ‘hey ghoulie’ and have you both turn to look at me.”   

“I don’t have one.”   

“What do you mean you don’t have one?”   

“I. Don’t. Have. One. Okay?”   

“Everyone has a name!”   

“Oh for fuck’s sake, just call me Sherrif!” he spat out, before leaping out behind the tree and shooting the feral in the head.   

“What kind of a fuckin’ name is Sherrif?” I almost laugh at the implications – this fucking Ghoul, who dressed like a cowboy with a secret love of Westerns wanted to be called Sherrif?   

“It’s my fuckin’ name, Missy.”   

“No, it ain’t.”   

“Yes, it is.”   

The feral currently on the floor began to move again, but Sherrif shot it again, still glaring at me.   

“It’s a fucking stupid name – makes you sound like a dog.”   

He lunged at me – grabbed onto my neck and shoved me against the tree we’d just been hiding behind.   

“Maybe I just am a dog, Missy. I certainly seem to be followin’ you around like one.”  

“Yeah, that’s what I’m fuckin’ paying you for, Sherrif,” He let out an irritated huff, and let me go, adjusting his belt.   

“Never meet your fuckin’ heroes,” he sighed and shook his head. I only let out another laugh and shrugged.   

“I was never the hero, Sherrif. I was the always the damsel in distress, gettin’ tied up by some evildoer and Coop’s character would have to rescue me.”   

“You were pretty fuckin’ fiesty for a damsel in distress.”   

“Only ‘cause the old perverts that liked watching Coop’s pictures liked to see a woman’s titties jiggle as she fought off the evil outlaw.”  

Walking away from the scene, the bounty hunter Ghoul became talkative in a way he hadn’t been before last night.   

“What was it like actin’ alongside the infamous Cooper Howard?” I raised my eyebrows at him, but he only shrugged. “I’m just interested to know if he was a fuckin’ arsehole like actors usually are.”   

“What do you know about actors, Sherrif?”   

“Been around a long time, I suppose.”   

“I can fuckin’ believe that one,” he shot me a dirty look, but I only grinned, “anyway, Coop was actually a pretty nice guy, for the most part. Though it is his fuckin’ fault I’m out here and not sittin’ pretty in a vault with my husband.”   

“The vaults aren’t all they were cracked up to be,” the Sherrif grimaced, and adjusted his hat, “you’re probably better off out here.”   

“You might be right, to be fair. But if I saw him walkin’ ‘round today, I’d sock him right on the mouth.”   

“Haven’t you done that before anyway?” I roll my eyes at his attempt at a joke, but I can’t help but smile.   

“We were acting.”   

“Were you?”   

“Of course I was!” I slap him on the arm, and he grins down at me. For a second, I’m not in the wasteland – I’m back on set with Cooper and Jackie or Greg and we’re just laughing about some dumb shit on the script. Then the wasteland appears before us again and I’m no longer home.   

***  

The next settlement we arrived at was substantial but quiet. The people there didn’t seem scared of us as we dragged ourselves to the watering hole, but there was a look in their eyes like you’d see in a prey animal. We handed over a few caps to the bartender in exchange for a drink and some directions to somewhere to kip for the night.   

“Jus’ head over to Mister J’s place. It’s on the high street, opposite the junk shop. Can’t miss it.”   

“Thank you kindly, sir,” I said, turning back to face the Sherrif. He was looking around us with a hint of suspicion on his face, and I handed him his drink. “what’s up, Sherrif? Does this saloon reek of outlaw or somethin’?”   

The Sherrif grunted but nodded all the same.   

“Somethin’ like that, little Missy. Somethin’ ain’t right here.”   

We hadn’t been sitting in the bar long before that something walked right in, a rather substantial gun in his hand and a crazed look in his red-rimmed eyes. The bar went completely silent, and the ghoul next to me immediately put a hand on his own gun.  

So far, apart from the trouble with raiders and fiends and all that shit, we hadn’t faced a huge threat. But between the haunted looks of the settlement inhabitants, and the coked-up-looking man standing next to the bar, I was sure this was going to be trouble. It reminded me of a scene from Under the Covers, where I’d played a sultry young woman hiding a dark secret opposite Cooper’s detective and he’d got into a bar fight over a mafiosa’s wandering hands.   

I shook my head at the Sherrif, who seemed to be moments away from pulling out his gun and firing it at the coked-up crazy man before he decided to fire at anyone else. He frowned but shifted anyway and pulled his hat further over his face. The sudden intruder whispered something in the ear of the bartender, who had become very interested in the glass he’d been polishing. He put the glass down and poured the man a beer, before quickly going back to polishing his glasses.   

From where we were sat, I had a pretty good view of the dude – his red eyes, thick beard, the bloodied fist clenched around his beer glass. I looked back over at the Sherrif, whose eyes were trained on the gun in the man’s other bloodied hand.   

I made eye contact with the Sherrif and then looked over to the door. He seemed to get my meaning, and we were about to get up when the crazed man began to talk.   

“You got the caps for this month, Jim?” he asked, and the barman cowered, before shaking his head. “I’m sorry, Sir, I haven’t been able to make the full amount since that shootout last month, I just need-”   

“So you don’t have my fucking caps, is that what you’re saying?”  

“No, Sir.”   

At this point, I could see that the barman was shaking, and the other man was holding up his gun, not quite pointing it, but holding it up as if he were inspecting it. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the Sherrif shift in his seat, and his hand returned to the pistol.   

“Well then, I guess I gotta give you a little more time then, eh? A little bit more time to make a few more caps, yeah?”   

“Yes Sir, please. I only need a couple more days.” I was almost certain that the barman was close to shitting himself, and I was beginning to panic that we would be next.  

I remembered men like these – men who would come into the brothel with their guns, pointing them at any whore who dared disobey.  

I remembered shooting a few of them.  

I watched, half in horror and half in dull apathy as the coked-up man raised his gun to the head of the barman, who had resorted to whimpering in fear. There was a click, as he pulled the trigger, but no gunshot ran out.   

The barman let out a cry, but the other man just began to laugh.   

“You got til’ tomorrow. If I don’t get my caps, I’ll shoot you in the fucking head for real.”   

The barman whimpered a thank you and then seemed to crumple to his knees in relief, disappearing from view.   

I let out a sigh of relief of my own, and I saw the Sherrif remove his hand from his holster. I relaxed my shoulders and leaned back into my chair and I saw my companion relax a little himself.   

“Now, what have we got here?”   

Shit. I took a quick look over to the Sherrif, who was currently in a staring contest with the apparent landlord of the saloon.   

“Me and my companion here are just a couple wanderers, enjoying a quick drink,” I hastily begin, “We won’t be sticking around long.”  

“You know, you don’t see many ghouls around these parts.” The Sherrif remained silent, so I attempted to step in again.   

“We’ll be on our way very soon,” I said, “We’re not sticking around, like I said.” I looked over to the Sherrif as I did so, who raised his glass to the Landlord and downed the rest of his drink.   

“You look very familiar, young lady,” the Landlord began, “Have we met before?”  

I shook my head and forced out a smile.   

“We’re nobodies, Sir. Just your average wastelanders.”   

He looked us over, for a moment, before standing aside.   

“Off you go then, average wastelanders.” He had a sneer painted across his scarred, hairy face that I didn’t like but at least he was letting us go.   

We got to the door of the saloon and were about to walk out and find wherever Mr J’s was when the Landlord’s voice called out to us once again.   

“I know where I remember you, Little Missy,” my breath caught in the back of my throat and I clenched my jaw. “You work at that brothel near Scrapheap, right? You were a slave there.”   

“I earned my freedom,” I bit out, “I don’t work there anymore.” 

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t just knock you out and sell you back to it? I’m sure they’re missing their best worker.” He leered at me and I felt myself shiver. His eyes felt like they were piercing right through my bones. I opened my mouth to speak again, but I was interrupted before I could make a sound.   

“You try anythin’ and I’ll shoot a bullet through your thick fuckin’ skull, alright?” Beside me, the Sherrif grinned and pointed his gun at the man in front of us. “I’d say that’s one good fuckin’ reason.”   

The Landlord let out a loud, unhinged laugh. A few people around us began to laugh as well, and then the Ghoul standing next to me began to laugh as well.   

He shot at the Landlord, and all hell broke loose. 

[noforkingclue]

Heyyy, I really hope I'm not being a bother. If it's okay may I please request an Indiana Jones x reader where he and the reader are working together to get an artifact before the bad guys but while they're exploring the location of the artifact the reader gets possessed by an entity protecting the item and tests him to see if he is worthy of the item and in doing so release the reader. I hope you have a great day

You're never a bother! I've recently re-watched the Indiana Jones films and I forgot just how much I love them!

So thank you so much for requesting this :D

Title: The Truth

Everything tag list: @greenrevolutionary, @byebyebreezywrites spngingerbread21,  @layazul,  @lov3vivian, @simonsbluee

Indy had seen a lot of strange shit in his time but this, well, this was definitely something completely different. The being in front of him stretched and cracked its neck. The sound of crunching bones followed and it rolled its shoulders back and stood up straight.

“It’s been too long since I inhabited a body.”

It looked like you.

It sounded like you.

But it wasn’t you.

“Let y/n go.” Indy said through clenched teeth

“I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

“Why not.”

The being walked round the room, trailing a finger along the wall. ‘You’ looked down at your finger and grimaced.

“I see they forgot about me,” it sighed, “so much for eternal devotion.”

“Y/n believed in you. Why do you think we’re here.”

“Who?”

“Y/n L/n. The person whose body you’re inhabiting.”

“Oh,” ‘you’ looked down at your body, “it is a nice body. It’ll do me-”

“Give it back to its owner.”

“- for now,” ‘you’ finished sharply, “I don’t like being interrupted. Surely this… y/n would’ve told you that. After all, she is the expert in my legend.”

‘You’ sighed and spun around on your heels. The being looked down in disgust and picked at your skirt.

“I don’t think much of the clothes though,” it said, “I’ve clearly been away for far too long.”

“Look, just give y/n back and we’ll be on our way.”

‘You’ looked over with a raised eyebrow. You could never do that yourself and seeing you do that made Indy feel slightly uneasy.

“Alright, I’ll give her back-”

“Fantastic.”

“What did I tell you about interrupting? Not going to say anything? Good. I’ll give her back if you pass my test.”

“Your test? What is this test?”

“We already started it.”

The being giggled and clapped your hands. Indy resisted the urge to roll his eyes. It was probably best not to piss off a temperamental and clearly childish almost God-like being. Best to play along.

“So,” you hopped up the altar and kicked your legs, “why do you want her back.”

“Because she’s my friend.”

“Just a friend?”

“Yes.”

“She doesn’t think so.”

Indy, who had taken to pacing, paused. He glanced over his shoulder. ‘You’ had crossed your legs and was smirking at him. He didn’t like seeing that look on your face.

“What do you mean?” he asked

“I can see all her thoughts,” it said, “her history. Everything she worked towards and you right at the centre. Do you want to know what she thinks about you? How she really feels about you?”

Yes. Fuck, yes. Indy had been working with you for so long and that was the one question he couldn’t find the answer for. Usually he wouldn’t hesitate in going after someone but with you it was different. In the past he could always tell if someone reciprocated his feelings but with you he couldn’t tell. He didn’t want to ruin things with someone he worked so closely with. Working with you in the museum would be awkward if you did reject him.

Yes, he wanted to know. He wanted to know your feelings. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and said,

“No.”

“No?”

The being was surprised.

“That isn’t for you to tell.”

“Hmm,” the being hopped off and walked slowly towards him, “you surprise me Doctor Jones. Very well, you can have your y/n back. I look forward to seeing your progress.”

The being gave him one last smile before your body shuddered. Your eyelids fluttered and you frowned.

“Jones?” you asked, “What- woah!”

You stumbled forward and Indy caught you just before you hit the floor. His grip on you tightened and he pressed his lips against the top of your head.

“Rest,” he said softly, “just rest.”

“But the-”

“Shh, try not to think about that right now.”

He sunk to the floor and half pulled you into his lap. You rested your head against his chest as Indy stroked the back of your head.

“Y/n.” he said eventually

“Yeah.”

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

[about-faces]

I'm still loving Gotham Nocturne and I wish it was getting the love/respect/attention is deserves. I've spoken several people who haven't been reading the current Detective Comics run because they're Batmanned Out (good lord, do I get it) and they see it as just another attempt at some kind of "ultimate Batman story with Batman fighting the ultimate evil," which I strongly disagree with.

THAT SAID... as time has gone on, and the story seems to be reaching its finale, there are a few things that stand out of me as problems with this epic storyline.

1.) It's one of the most egregious examples of "writing for the trade paperback." This simply isn't a story that's meant to be read month-to-month. It's too slow, with too little "happening," at least on the superficial level. Paradoxically, it's NOT a story that should be binged! The best comparison that comes to mind is Better Call Saul, since that's the only other example of serialized media that's meticulously slow-paced yet INCREDIBLY RICH for those willing to engage with it on its level rather than expecting it to be Breaking Bad (or in Nocturne's case, a typical Batman story.) Ram V is capable of writing super-engaging monthly issues, as the fantastic Rare Flavours proves, but that brings us to...

2.) The story is sprawling. Maybe even TOO sprawling. When it comes to people who are sick of Batman, I try to sell them on the fact that this story is about GOTHAM AS A WHOLE, right down to the villains who call it home, and how everyone there is as intrinsically a part of Gotham as Batman is. But ensemble stories like that are tricky, and it makes the focus feel all over the place at times, with alternately too much and too little attention being paid to the main players, Batman included. It's a balance that was handled beautifully with Batman: The Audio Adventures, but it seems a bit more awkward here. Again, it's hard to pull off!

Like, we have characters pop up and then vanishing without explanation. We got Azrael back in the AzBats armor for the first time in decades, like, holy shit! That should be a HUGE development! And then, poof, he vanished! There's simply no time to explore Jean-Paul's character because there's so many other things the narrative needs to explore.

This feels like it would have really benefited from a companion series, something to focus on the characters the way the backup stories have done, but just more so. I think about how Peter Tomasi would write companion books to the main big storylines written by Geoff Johns, Grant Morrison, and Scott Snyder, and how he'd focus on character, which always enriched the greater "big important storyline." Which, in turn, also brings me to...

3.) The backup stories have really lost a lot of their punch since they stopped being written by Si Spurrier and were taken over by Dan Watters. Watters is incredibly capable, make no mistake, and his Cheshire/Lian Harper story is one of my favorite parts of this entire saga. But by and large, his tales focus more on the spooky and weird sides of what's happening with Nocturne, whereas Spurrier's stories were more focused on characters navigating the weirdness of the events. As a result, Spurrier gave us what I consider to be some of the very best stories about Jim Gordon, Harvey Dent, and Victor Fries ever written. I really miss those, and how they enriched Ram V's (possibly overly-ambitious) narrative.

Ultimately, Gotham Nocturne feels like the Batman equivalent to an arthouse film, which means it's going to be appreciated by a handful of nerds while leaving most other fans cold, and I can't really blame them. If anything makes me sad about all this, it's how all this incredible character work with Bruce, Harvey, Victor, Talia, and others is going to be ignored. Hell, it already is, given the complete lack of acknowledgement we've seen in other Bat-books for what's going on in Nocturne.

At this point, I just hope it sticks the landing in the finale, because I want to be able to have a complete, satisfying epic to recommend to people who want something a bit richer than the typical "guy in Bat costume punches clown" stories we usually get.

[scientistservant]

I have never heard of the Dark Crystal until I saw your posts. What is it about, and what do you like about it?

Oh ho?

Sit down, anon, and let me tell you the tale of... The Dark Crystal.

*theme music plays*

In a world called Thra, there exists a powerful gem called the Crystal of Truth. It is in tune to all of Thra, including the planet's most civilized race, the Gelfling.

A thousand years ago, new beings came to Thra: the Skeksis. The Skeksis, wise, hedonistic and benevolent, were tasked with protecting the Crystal of Truth by Thra's avatar/mother-nature of sorts, Mother Aughra. Because of their wisdom the Skeksis also ruled over the Gelfling and their seven Clans, while Aughra journeyed the stars and space.

But one day, the Crystal cracked, causing the Crystal to become corrupted, and a miasma, the Darkening, to spread throughout Thra. In an attempt to fix the Crystal, the Skeksis discovered Essence - the soul or life-force of every creature on Thra. Instead of taking life from the Crystal, they decided to take life from something else - the Gelfling. Because the Gelfling are the closest creatures to Thra, their Essence is pure, more potent.

The Skeksis became obsessed with Essence, and obsessed with draining Gelfling, killing them and drinking their Essence to obtain eternal life and youthfulness. All Skeksis, but the Emperor especially, were terrified of death. For when Skeksis die they do not return to Thra.

And so, a genocide occurred, and all Gelfling perished.

All but one. For there was a prophecy, told of a young Gelfling named Jen, who is destined to heal the Crystal and bring the Skeksis reign to an end!

What I love about The Dark Crystal is its world-building and characters. Its cast isn't just black and white in morality, it's more than that. The protagonists can make mistakes, and so can the antagonists. The Skeksis were good once upon a time, they once cared about the Gelfling, but their greed and fear of death overtook them. Thra is beautiful with many different settings and wildlife, even the Castle of the Crystal is gorgeous with it's fantastical and alien gothic architecture.

I'm mainly talking about the prequel series, Age of Resistance, here. It was made almost 40 years after the original 1982 film, but unlike many modern sequels and prequels it's not a cash grab at all; it was made with love and respect to the original, expanding on the world of Thra. Not saying the original film was bad, it's a wonderful piece of media! I just think it's lacking a bit in world-building and context, and Age of Resistance helps immensely.

As for characters, I'll be talking about the Skeksis, Gelfling, and Mother Aughra. There are other characters and creatures too, but I don't want to venture into spoiler territory!

The Skeksis

As I said above, the Skeksis are not from Thra. They are reptile-like alien vultures with a very hedonistic lifestyle. They adore food, various forms of entertainment, the most lavish of robes, and being praised for their wisdom and status as Lords of the Crystal.

Each Skeksis has a title and role they must uphold. For example, the Ornamentalist makes his fellow Lords' robes and decor for the Castle, while the Scroll-Keeper is in charge of the Castle library and keeps records of tomes and scrolls going back a thousand years of Skeksis rule.

All the Skeksis are important and unique, but the most popular and well-known by far is the Chamberlain. He has a "whimper" as a tic and speaks in slight broken English, yet is the craftiest, manipulative, and cunning of the Skeksis. A very Starscream/Littlefinger-type character, he's fantastic to watch. (He's one of my favourite characters, but not my top favourite, that honour goes to the Scroll-Keeper.)

The Gelfling

The Gelfling are small, elf-like humanoids that vary in looks, culture and skill between their seven different species/Clans. There is the Stonewood, Vapran, Drenchen, Spriton, Dousan, Sifan, and Grottan. Unfortunately, many Gelfling tend to be xenophobic and untrustworthy towards other Clans, though some do manage to become friends despite their differences. Most Gelfling are also illiterate, but there are a very small few that can read and write.

Gelfling are the closest beings to Thra, and have the special ability to Dreamfast with one another - a rather intimate gesture that allows them to share their memories and thoughts by touching hands.

They also differ between genders; female Gelfling have wings, while male Gelfling do not.

Because of their small noses and large eyes and ears, some of the fandom tend to call Gelfling "fairy mice", even giving them whiskers and tails!

Mother Aughra

Mother Aughra is Thra, and Thra is Mother Aughra. She is as old as the planet itself, and perhaps as old as the Crystal of Truth, too. She is connected to the Crystal, able to tell when it is healthy and when it is not.

She and the Skeksis used to be friends, admiring their wisdom and beauty, yet that all ended when she discovered what they had done to the Crystal of Truth.

Aughra is sassy and somewhat grumpy, yet she loves and cares for all the creatures of Thra, especially the Gelfling, who see her as a mother-figure. She has the ability to remove her one eye and use it to spy on others or to see things up close, even from far away.

If you enjoy the fantasy genre, puppets, practical effects, and alien worlds, I highly, highly recommend The Dark Crystal and The Dark Crystal Age of Resistance! There are also graphic novels, and YA novels by J.M Lee.

The world of Thra must never die!

[sugarsnappeases]

am i. am i hearing u right. scamandercest?? elaborate pls id love to know more

yes you are indeed hearing me right!!!!! and i would absolutely love to elaborate!!!!!

i think it's a classic case of 'the implications are there', particularly in the third fantastic beasts film. but i like to think that they grew up in a big kinda farm-style household out in the country. a small, cosy cottage with a lot of land surrounding it, just the two of them and their parents and an array of creatures. i like to think that newt spent a lot of time running around and crawling under bushes and wading through the pond looking for said creatures and theseus spent a lot of time running after him and teaching him how to climb trees safely and helping him w his various projects.

i think with their age gap. that theseus is very much an Older Brother, but also that newt has always had a lot of independence. like i think that when theseus goes to hogwarts, newt obvs misses him loads but he has his creatures and he isn't all that lonely even if he's mostly alone. but when newt goes to hogwarts (once theseus has already graduated), theseus HATES IT SO MUCH. SO SO MUCH. even if he's like. fully an adult now and starting his auror training and maybe moving out of the cottage, he always comes back and stays during newt's holidays. he can't stand being in that place when newt's not there but he equally can't stand not being there when newt IS there.

i also think, however, that the main incestuous stuff happens when they're much older. i talked a bit (blathered on somewhat derangedly) the other day about them and leta in the summer after newt and leta's graduation, having an awkward threesome. i think that's the first time anything like physically incestuous happens. and i've since learnt!! that newt actually did go into the ministry for a bit after hogwarts and jen and i were just saying that it was probs the calmest time of theseus' life. like he can have both the people he loves (newt&leta) close to him and safe and i think during this time they all basically live together in that cottage (idk what i want to happen to their parents... will have to ponder them more at some point) but there's a lot of kinda fumbling, not-really-a-relationship but they're all very much in love mess going on there. and they're happy. and it's easy but not forever bc in the end newt can't do it!!!!

he can't stand the bureaucracy of it all. he must be freeeeee. and he's always wanted to travelll and he gets this chance to write 'fantastic beasts' and he takes it and he goes and theseus is trying to hold onto himmm but he'd never try and stop him from going bc he wants newt happy as much as he wants him safe and near. so then there's the separation. and things are strained. and theseus wants him to come home so bad. and he and leta move out of the cottage too. and they get engaged. and newt is meant to be best man. and it's all very tense and they're all a little bit miserable. and then it (the incest) all Properly Kicks Off after leta dies. bc they have no one else left!!!!!!!!!

they have no one else left!!!!!! and theseus has given up on trying to get newt to join the ministry again but he's still determined to protect his younger brother and like. the third film. the entirety of the third film is craaaaazy actually. theseus literally follows newt everywhere and does whatever newt asks him to do, and it's not no-questions-asked bc he's asking questions the whole time but there's never any question about whether or not he would do it. pretty much the only time he's not trailing around after newt is when he gets fucking kidnapped. and then newt comes to SAVE HIM!!! and there's no question about that either. like obviously newt goes to save him. and they hold hands and jen and i screamed. anyway. it's obvious (to me) that they're basically living in each other's pockets. they're both slightly miserable and grieving but they're doing it together and they have each other and they love each other so much and they're sooooo brothers but they're also sooooooo fucking and it makes me insane!!!!!!!!!!

[9leaguesofmirrors]

My Favourite Reece Shearsmith Characters

So it's Reece Shearsmith's birthday today, so I decided to celebrate this by sharing some of my favourite characters played by this fantastically talented actor

These are in no particular order

Gregory Brewster - Him Indoors

Him Indoors is a short film about a serial killer with agoraphobia. Not only is the premise very interesting, Reece delivers a chilling yet very entertaining performance as the main character. It's on YouTube if you want to watch it, which I highly reccomend you do!

Tommy - Bernie Clifton's Dressing Room

This HAD to be on the list! Reece's performance as Tommy is heartbreaking, we watch a man seems to put-together and serious slowly fall apart and lose control of his calm façade - impeccable work

Sean Stone - Chasing Shadows

Admittedly, I don't know where the watch the full show, but I have seen clips and I knew I had to put it on this list because of Reece's portrayal of an autistic person. You can tell he put a lot of thought and research into it in order to give a realistic performance, which is a testament to his dedication and how much he truly cares about the roles he plays and who he's representing

Tyler - Riddle Of The Sphinx SPOILERS BELOW

If there's one thing Reece is good at, it's how to play a chilling villain. Everything about Tyler is unnerving and he manages to be terrifying without being loud or angry all the time. It's measured and the emotion builds and builds - fantastic work!

Joseph Lisgoe - The League Of Gentlemen

I've mentioned before that the debt collectors were underused, and I simply had to talk about how extraordinary Reece's performance as Lisgoe was. He completely dives into the roles he plays and this one was no exception, not even a light smashing on his closest friend stops him from carrying on a scene (just check out the outtakes!), he simply embodies the part and delivers a performance that terrifies the cast, crew and the audience

Laurence - Merrily Merrily SPOILERS BELOW

Merrily Merrily is an Inside No. 9 episode that I can never rewatched because of how empty it made me feel - and I mean that in the best way possible! Laurence is wracked with pain over the loss of his late partner, and Reece delivers such a subtle yet haunting performance that I don't think I'll ever stop thinking about it

Ross Gaines - The League of Gentlemen

Ross is such a fun character because of how manipulative, calculating and cold he is. Not only does it set him apart from the other inhabitants of Royston Vasey, it makes his scenes with Pauline all the more tense and entertaining - and Reece really does deliver in the role. I'm glad they decided to go with this casting choice

Aiden - Thinking Out Loud

Like with Laurence, Reece delivers a hauntingly stellar performance. What makes this one really special is that it's a monologue. There's nobody for him to bounce off of or react to, he has to reach those emotions himself. And, as always, he nails it

Ollie Plimsolls - The League Of Gentlemen

I've said before that I think Ollie is one of the most cleverly written League characters and I stand by that. As a representation of the Saviour Complex and self-righteousness of people in theatre, Ollie is a character that should be easy to hate... but because of Reece's expert comedic timing and delivery, he ends up being so funny that you can't help but laugh every time he's onscreen

SPECIAL MENTION: Gilbert - Betty Blue Eyes

Reece Shearsmith said in an interview that he wasn't a great singer. Reece Shearsmith is a liar. Don't believe me? Listen to The Kind Of Man I Am from Betty Blue Eyes and thank me later

Also, if you can find it, there's a short bootleg of him in The Producers which is good too!

Of course, this are just a few of his performances and he's never delivered a bad one - whether he's playing a comedic character like Archie in The Bill or a more serious one like in Borley Rectory. And we haven't even touched on his writing skills, I can't wait to see what he does next!

[parisian-nicole]

Adam Rodriguez and Kirsten Vangsness Ship GarVez too!!

(Source: Popculture.com)

More Criminal Minds: Evolution means more Garvez and Kirsten Vangsness and Adam Rodriguez spoke to PopCulture.com all about their dynamic. The relationship between Penelope Garcia and Luke Alvez is arguably one of the best parts of Criminal Minds, whether it's just platonic or if there's something more between them. Now, with the revival, the series has been able to further explore their dynamic, and it's long been in the making, even if it wasn't initially intentional.

Vangsness told PopCulture, "It's funny because I think they tried it. The season finale, they stuck it in, 'Okay, people want this. We'll stick it in because people are saying, oh.' And then it's like, 'Now we're just going to end this conversation.' And then they did that date. Adam, I don't want to speak for you about this. It's funny because we don't talk about it at work because we don't have interviews to talk about it, so we haven't had one. So now we're talking about it. Then they do, you're like, 'Okay,' and then there's something else, and you're like, 'Okay.' And then we're just doing scenes. We're just like, 'Okay, okay.' And we have chemistry. So then people go, 'Oh, Garvez. Okay. Okay.' But it's great. I think it's fantastic. And I love that it's happening under the noses of the show almost. They're not writing that. It just happens."

While Kirsten Vangsness was on Criminal Minds since the beginning, Adam Rodriguez didn't come on until Season 12, but it was clear there was something there. Vangsness shared, "He came in, and I was very friendly to him in person. And then the camera would role, and I'd go like, 'There's always a bad smell in the room.' And so now we've been doing the show long enough, and it's like, 'Okay, we've evolved.' Again, we were into this thing, whatever you want to call this thing is, that we have that is super. And what's so cool is I think that the audience got to do it with us. I know that there's a great love, obviously, in the fan world between Morgan and Garcia, but you kind of dropped in on that. You know what I mean? That was art."

"They can't stop us from having fun," Kirsten Vangsness chimed in. And it certainly has been fun to see Garcia and Luke's relationship grow, whether platonically or romantically, however it is perceived. Regardless of what is or isn't being brewed between the two, Adam Rodriguez shared that they love filming it. "I mean, I love getting to play those scenes," he said. "Look, those are my favorite things to do on the show because it's just getting to do improv sometimes, even if it's scripted, it feels like improv energetically."

[weclassybouquetfun]

Everyone Gets Lost in SALTBURN.

Including me, as I've gloried in this film three times -enduring the annoying Academy aspect ratio format (writer/director/filmmaking genius Emerald Fennell explained this ratio was used to accommadate the squareness of the estate and to enhance close-ups).

I love films that are bold and audacious; ones that are polarizing and divisive because that means it has touched the audience - for good or for bad - they have been given food for thought. Now, you may savour it, or vomit it out but you will wolf it down. I don't see how anyone could look at this film and be bored.

TL;DR

WARNING: MORE SPOILERS THAN ROOMS IN SALTBURN

THE GOOD

EVERYTHING. Barry Keoghan owns every single frame of this film. He gets to use so many colours in his acting palette and while I don't have faith in the Academy, I hope that they nominate him at least.

Same goes for Archie Madekwe as Farleigh. He is the Tom Wambsgans of SALTBURN (complimentary). He's a hanger-on who hates the other hanger-on. Fennell could have just written him as one note - just nasty and cruel bully, but he had more dimensions than that.

We get a glimpse at how he hates that his mother has to beg (by way of Farleigh) for financial support. He could have just been someone who held the attitude of, "I've got mine, now get yours", but it bothers him that his mother is struggling. He hates that he lives a pampered life while the footmen are ignored. I especially love how he has no shame over being taken care of by the Cattons. Kicked out of 3 schools for blowing teachers? Oh, well. Sir James' connections will get him somewhere.

He sets up Oliver to karaoke to The Pet Shop Boys' "Rent" and when Oliver remarks, "Felix, I think this song is yours too." (a line that never failed to pull a reaction from me), Felix doesn't tuck his tail between his legs. He's not embarrased. No, he gladly takes the mic.

Then there is Rosamund Pike who is never not fantastic in everything. Elspeth is so droll, so cutting, yet so loveable.

Pike tosses out these lines that carry such humour in it, effortlessy. Like Farleigh, Elspeth is someone you probably should dislike - not batting an eye when discussing Pamela's death, judgmental, gossipy - but she, like Sir James are charming. Their obliviousness comes across as a mere quirk in their personality versus a deal-breaker.

The humour. This movie is so funny. What I appreciated though is that where most directors would put laughs to diffuse the preceeding scene, Fennell plays it straight. You are sat there without any quip or hammy performance to distract from Oliver drinking Felix's cummy bathwater and lapping the drain for good measure.

Or from Oliver and Venetia's menstrual blood swapping. Or grief stricken Oliver humping Felix's grave. The laughter, however comes from the audience. I've seen it three times so I've experienced three different audience reactions and I was surprised by how much people laughed (and gasped. Or closed their eyes), when to me it was serious bizness.

The first screening I attended had a Q&A with the film's composer, Anthony Willis, and he said that when he does panels with Emerald she always apologies to the audience for the pervisity. Why apologize, Emerald?! Talk your talk!

The only scene I could think of where humour was added to diffuse a scene was when Oliver kills Elspeth and he's draped over her trying (and failing) to put her limp arms around him. I think that was necessary so audiences can go into the end scene of him dancing victoriously through his ill-gotten estate.

-When Felix starts clueing in that Oliver lied. The way the unasked question where they pull up to Oliver's home. You can see that he's taken aback by a supposed addict would live there. Then you can tell the realization is falling on him when he spots the lawn being watered because what hardcore adcict would care about maintaining the lawn? But it's the "Gone Fishin'" sign that made him realize he's been duped. Jacob played it so well because it was very understated. Even the entire scene with Oliver's parents (played by Dorothy Atkinson who displayed that same fierce love of her child in "Pennyworth" and Shaun Dooley who's usually playing a tough nut.).

THE BAD

The bad actually has nothing to do with the film itself. It's the perception of Felix that Jacob Elordi and Emerald Fennell holds. They both paint Felix in the most terrible light with Elordi saying Felix is scarier than his character in EUPHORIA and Fennell calling him callous, misogynistic and racist. While I can see where she paints him as such in the film (leaving Oliver to walk his bike back to campus, not talking to the girl/s he's going to have it off with, just hitting her on the butt and walking off with her, having the very tone-deaf attitude of "not seeing race" by telling Farleigh that he doesn't care that he's "different" from them. But does that make him a truly awful person? Maybe it makes me an apologist because I can see how Felix's life of privilege makes him oblivious on how to treat people.

Fennell says her direction to Elordi was that Felix is a bad kisser and bad at sex because he never has to try; he doesn't need to impress. That makes sense because if one is wealthy and/or conventionally beautifully those things does the heavy lifting and grants you a ton of leeway. Since it works for him, why would he even think he needs to pivot on his behaviour?

I just don't see Felix being a terrible person. He ran interference for Oliver at the bar, he tried to get someone to hook Oliver up with a friend, he ditched the graduation party to support Oliver after the "death" of his father. Duncan was so crushed by Felix's death that he couldn't even close the curtains. Liam or Joshua (the Footmen Farleigh said Felix didn't know the names of) ran off crying after closing the curtains while Felix's body passed by. You would think if he was such a horrid person the staff wouldn't be so affected by his death. He pushed Oliver to stay for dinner at his parents house because he could see how much it meant to them to just have homemade SpagBol and cake.

He may be oblivious and has blindspots, but I'm not buying that he's abominable.

THE REST

-When Venetia is telling the story about the doppleganger, there's a window to the garden behind her and you see a man in a pink shirt walking past, then we cut to the reactions at the table to her story and Felix is wearing a pink shirt. Could it be Felix's doppleganger? A harbinger of his death in the garden? If we take Felix seriously, Saltburn is inhabited by Felix's dead granny. What's one more supernatural occurrence?

-In the credits are images that alludes to what has transpired: we see a spider because Venetia tells Oliver Sir James calls him Spider-Man because she skulks and she says he spins his web, she thinks he's more of a moth (I say he's a kitsune. He's a shapeshifting, beguiling trickster.).

There's a puppet on a string - and that has a dual meaning of the shoebox theatre of Catton family puppets that Felix examines when he first arrives at Saltburn and latter stops in front of at the end when he fixes their memorial rocks atops it; and also how Felix was ultimately a puppet master. There's also an ouroboros and a pair of glasses, which I loved seeing because Oliver sheds his glasses when he gets into Felix's circle. We eventually realize that they were merely an affectation. A costume he adorned to get in order to get into the character as humble, unassuming scholarship kid and shedding him once he was ensconced in Felix's circle.

-I ponder whether Felix truly considered Oliver a friend. Ewan Mitchell's Michael (the other asocial scholarship kid) warned Oliver that Felix would get bored with him. Venetia tells Oliver that she likes him better than the last one. Her words seemed like this is Felix's folly and he does this all the time and Oliver was merely another stray. Then we hear from Felix that a friend he invited had a fling with Venetia and it ruined his friendship. Maybe Felix doesn't get tired of these guys, but they make a mere (perceived) misstep and he ends the friendship. We see it almost happen when Felix yelled at Oliver for making a fuss about the state of his dorm room. Which is why Oliver deployed Operation Dead Dad - he needed a gambit in order to not lose Felix's friendship.

There were a few times where Felix could have ditched Oliver, but he didn't. If he's as flighty as people perceive him to be then I think he would have just made an excuse for Oliver to not attend the fancy dress party. Cancellation wasn't the only option. He could have just pulled an Elspeth and had Sir James make Oliver leave in the dead of the night.

Instead, even after everything he now knows about Oliver's deception, Felix looks crushed after their talk in the maze. His anger from earlier seemingly turned to sadness. Maybe his apparent dejection stemmed from what Oliver said to him: how he was just giving Felix what he wanted; thus (screw you Farleigh, "thus" is a good word) probably making Felix ponder whether everyone around him are playing roles - court jesters trying to appease Felix their king and no relationship he has with anyone outside his family is authentic.

Or maybe Felix had sexual interest in Oliver (because I don't think anyone had a romantic interest in each other in this film; sexual/carnal/opportunistic, yes)? It's powerful when someone obviously wants you. Even if you didn't have any prior interest in that person the, "What if?" or "Why not?" aspect comes into play and you want test how far it could go. Venetia told Oliver, "Felix doesn't like to share his toys. Even the ones he doesn't want to play with anymore." Maybe he just liked male attention, but had no intention of following through. I don't know. Maybe Oliver wasn't the only unreliable narrator.

"I wasn't in love with him."

[skysiren41]

My thoughts on Kung Fu Panda 4 trailer

So kung fu panda 4 finally released its first trailer and too say that people have been split on it would be an understatement. All and all I'm still keeping my expectations modest I thought this trailer was actually pretty ok, I've have seen a few people say that it looks awful and while I do think it's a bit overblown, I would be lying if I said that I wasn't still worried about this film, so I wanna share my thoughts in the most neutral way possible while also being fair with both its positives and negatives as a Kung Fu Panda fan

●I've seen a few people say that the animation is a downgrade from the others I have to disagree. From what I've seen it mostly looks similar to the third film, the colours especially are quite nice, though I did notice some on the movement be a bit janky. I've also seen some say that the models look bad but I don't see it, there are some changes like they seem to be a lot more expressive but I wouldn't go far as to say that it's a bad change

●One criticism I do agree with is that the furious five seem to be absent in this film, not even Tigress. I do hope they do appear or at least explain their absent because it is weird not to include or even mention them but there apparently gonna have both of Po's dad's appear (don't get me wrong I love Mr Ping and Li Shan, it just I don't think they have a point to be in the story from what I've seen)

●The Chameleon honestly has a lot of potential, not only is it nice to have a female villian in the film, but also the whole concept of her being able to bring people back to life but also even transform into her enemies is such a brilliant idea and really plays into her species

●Tai Lung fans are eating good tonight with him finally being on screen again since the first film. I'm curious if he's only gonna appear in that one scene we see only to be sent back to the spirit realm after the Chameleon takes his powers. If that's not the case I'm curious if there gonna go with the route of giving him a redemption arc. I've always been split on the idea, on one hand I think the tragedy of Tai Lung and how he could've changed is what made him a fantastic villain as well as show the flaws of Shifu as a character, but on the other hand GIVE THIS BOY A HUG! HE DIDN'T DESERVE WHAT HE WENT THOUGH!

●In general the movie seems to be keeping the lighthearted tone from the first film which I'm kinda mixed on, don't get me wrong I like the third film but I do wish they went with a similar tone with the second film, where it was able to be both funny but also wasn't afraid to get dark. I understand that Kung Fu Panda is for the most part lighthearted but its shown multiple times to be able to be lighthearted while also handling mature themes

To close this off I think there are some people are overreacting when they say that the trailer is awful but I also see why a lot of people are unsure about this forth film myself included

[gearlic-personal]

My Borderlands Movie (2024) review

Right before the movie ended, I thought “is this how the movie ends?” and “no surely not, we’re only like 45 minutes in”, and then the movie ended. So little happened in the movie I couldn’t fathom the fact I absorbed nearly 2 hours of a film. And I say “absorbed” because my attention did not waver for a second, I was so hooked on how awful the writing was I just had to hear it to believe it. I feel the characters were written for a voice acted video game, not live action— it created an awkwardness when the tone of a video game is poorly translated to a performance that is acted out, especially when the actors themselves are notttt feeling the role at all. You know it’s bad when you can hear the actor cringing at their own lines. I’m gonna bring up the Fallout show because I feel they did a fantastic job at translating the quirky humor of the game into the live acted show: going into the show I felt the same hesitation as this movie, and it didn’t help when I noticed how 1-to-1 they make the set look to the game, the same goofy vault posters and outfits (albeit MUCH better designed and fitting for a screen, and not a cheap Amazon cosplay version they attempted in the Borderlands movie). What broke me out of the awkwardness of a goofy-video-game-to-live-action translation was the moment the lead used a Stimpak to heal herself, same as the game (AKA jabbing herself with a needle and instantly healing). It was funny, jarring, and more moments like this helped set the tone of the world WHILE STILL UTILIZING WELL-WRITTEN CHARACTERS AND PLOT to help us attach ourselves to the environment and take silly seriously. The Borderlands movie had no anchoring tone of the film unlike the Fallout show, despite being fairly similar in gamplay and environment in their games. Where the writers may have struggled is just how much of the humor of the Borderlands games…. may not have made it to 2024. The script holds onto a lot of the wrong jokes made in the original games (one’s where I’d suck air into my teeth and wince when returning to these games), and character dynamics that were annoying (such as the joke of a character being the annoying punching bag that everyone hates bc he’s annoying……………. hi claptrap ily). This is also why I believe they fed the BL games scripts to AI and had it poop generalized garbage 2010 gamer-talk for the movie. The application of humor in the Borderlands games WORKED though, even if they are dated they still hold up (except the ableism and fatphobia those did not . like why. hello) because of how unified the world and characters are. UNIFIED! The BL movie writing felt so clunky, and it’s not only because they obviously did not pay attention when dubbing voice lines that don’t make sense in the conversation (Claptrap: “is this your home?” Lilith: “I grew up here.” yes girl thats what a home is. Also I’m so sure Jack Black did another line intended that said “Do you recognize this place” or some shit that makes more sense. Anyway. This happened a lot. Especially Kriegs lines which were just pulled from the games i s2g). The writing felt clunky because not one damn soul working on that movie was 100%. On the list of soulless movies with no one working on it connecting deeply with the source material at all, this is right up there with Wonka. And I’m not saying you gotta be Tiny Tina #1 mega-fan but oh my god it was so hard to watch Ariana Greenblatt act out a character that was only ever explained to her once by a guy who had Tiny Tina explained to him by another guy who read off her fandom wiki page summary. Except thats what every single character in this movie felt like. Everyone but Marcus??? for whatever fucking reason, he read the assignment he took Cornell notes. too bad he had 15 minutes of screen time. I’m actually glad they didn’t include my all-time favorite character Mordecai for fear of how they’d butcher his character too. Sorry Brick and Mordecai the writers could not fathom your gay love for each other the way I would have. Put me in that writing room.

Script-doctoring is a lost cause for this movie. she doesn’t need a facelift she needs a multi-organ transplant. With just how rich the world is why did they not just go the Tell-Tale BL route and put their own OCs on Pandora.. instead they cherry-picked elements from all the games to combine into… a twisted version of the OG plot? Not even a new adventure for these characters, no, they take the existing plot of how they met and decided to butcher Tiny Tina’s story so she can be a main character? The only way they could have fixed this in the writing room was in the very beginning if someone said “no” to this idea (also I’m pretty sure Tiny Tina wasn’t even born yet bc her story is tied to Handsome Jack and Hyperion not Atlas… also RIP to not getting a Handsome Jack plot he wouldve been so fun on screen and probably have been a good unifier for the tone I talked about before… I would never let him in the hands of those writers though).

Oh my god I could also go on and on about how nasty the environments were UGHHHHH so fucking awful, no creativity not an ounce. The patchwork architecture in the games is so meticulous and clever, even if they just payed attention to the silhouettes in the movie they don’t have to go crazy with the designs but at least give us SOMETHING!! Caustic Caverns too…. oh my god. Probably my favorite map in all the games. It’s the most unique map, its got so much breathing room, it looks like it goes on forever but still makes you feel claustrophobic (as intended). The dynamic man-made structures made to look natural with decay as they blend seamlessly into the natural structures.. the unique enemies and dangers of the map. This is the only(?) map mentioned by name in the movie, I was preparing for what I’d see. And they gave me nothing. The characters walk into a sewer cellar with glowing green sewage, walk around it, then fight a bunch of psychos in the… sewer cellar. its. its a sewer cellar. thats it. then they continue walking through the normal sewer cellar. the only comparison is the green acid and the name. Anyway that made me most sad of all, there was so much they could have done.

Ultimately this was gonna be an inevitable flop coming out anytime after BL3 womp womp. Nothing could have saved the franchise after the circumstances surrounding that game (recasting key voice actors to avoid raising wages, almost completely new writing team that was not great, Epic games paying for exclusive platform for like a year?? idk ppl were mad abt that). Great gameplay though.

Rating: 3/10

Giving it 3 stars for thinking of trying something new with the characters..? Also the fight scenes were pretty solid ngl, one thing I like about playing the BL games is how satisfying the fighting is, the sound design adds so much weight that makes it more fun than other FPS games and I think the movie replicated that well.

[rakumel]

It's been....a while...since I last talked about anything Animaniacs related. I wound up not really liking the first season of the 2020 reboot, so I didn't bother trying to find a way to watch the second one.

But a few months ago, the library where I work acquired both seasons of the reboot on DVD. And well, I kinda toyed with the idea of trying to watch it again, now that it was a lot easier to do so. Animaniacs was once be a big part of my childhood, after all. Hard to just shut it out completely.

Right before the 4th of July weekend, I broke down and checked out the first season DVDs. I had that day off anyway, was going to be alone, and honestly wasn't feeling very patriotic. (Basically a typical 4th weekend for me, honestly. One year I "celebrated" by staying in and watching both Blade Runner films.)

Anyway, I didn't get around to watching that evening, but I tried again during the next long weekend I had available (this past one). So far I've only watched the first seven episodes. It's taking longer than it usually would because I'm taking notes this time around - in case I want to do a proper episode by episode review in the near future.

Still, even this far in, was the reboot as bad as I remembered? Yes and no. There were some high points that I'd forgotten about; mostly in the first and last episodes on the disc. Some of the cartoon titles are clever, like "Suspended Animation" and "France France Revolution" (seriously, I love that). And there was at least an effort to stay true to the original spirit of the original show while also adapting the new one for today's audience; in a few instances they actually succeeded very well. (Putting Yakko in a rap battle was fantastic. I just wish it had ended a little better.) And most of the Pinky and the Brain episodes I've rewatched so far are very much in keeping with the original.

But....well. (Here I take a deep breath and sigh. Sadly.) Out of all the episodes I've watched so far, I've laughed maybe...twice. And that's being generous. There are a few genuinely good bits, but a lot of the writing just isn't that great. There's a nuance the old show had that's missing in the new, plus they have a bad habit of just reaching a stopping point instead of a proper ending. A lot of times the cartoon would be over, and I'd just be sitting there baffled, or feeling pissed because the ending was just that rushed or stupid. The trademark pop culture references are fine, and they don't over-rely on them (which is good), but even when I'm in on the jokes they're weirdly not that funny.

And then there's the overemphasis on gross-out things. Sure, the old show had its gross-out moments too, but I don't remember them being nearly as prevalent and gratuitous as they are in the new show.

For example, in the last episode I watched, there was a scene in which a woman is reunited with her beloved poodle, Gigi. She hugs Gigi (aww), and then for several awkward seconds Gigi licks her owner's puckered lips in slow motion, complete with copious amounts of animated drool (eww). Then the woman takes a dog treat, chews it up, and opens her mouth to feed it to Gigi, baby bird style (wtf?!?).

Like...I get it. They wanted to show how dedicated this lady was to her dog in an over-the-top way. (Or, if there were an interview where one of the animators said they based that scene off of something they literally saw a dog owner do, it wouldn't surprise me.) But it's still nasty, plus my god you've not only made your point, you've clubbed me over the head with it. MOVE ON. And that's not the grossest thing in the season either.

Speaking of gross, I don't know what it is about the human characters in the reboot, but aside from the new WB CEO all of them look hideous. I still can't put my finger on why exactly, especially since the Warners themselves look just fine. In fact they're a little wilder looking, with fuzzy hair (head fur?) and occasional fangs, and I really like it. It's not the exaggerated features; human characters on the old show had those too and it...didn't bother me then? I just don't know. My best guess is that they've got a Ren and Stimpy vibe to them (which goes with the gross-out stuff), and I never liked that show. I don't care how original or boundary-pushing it was at the time. It's just never been my thing.

Finally, and it's a very very minor thing but it's a little disappointing all the same: they don't quip after the end credits anymore. Boo.

I still don't know yet if I want to expand this into a proper episode review, if I even have the time. I may wind up just putting my thoughts down on some of the better or more famous episodes. But I am curious enough to try the second season, to see if it got any better. My instinct tells me no, but I want to be fair and give it a chance.

I'm also struggling with describing why the irreverence of the original Animaniacs show is endearing to me, but the new one's is off-putting. You could argue it's just nostalgia, and you wouldn't be totally wrong, but I know it's more than that. It's not that one is crass and the other isn't; both of them absolutely are. It's more like...with the old show, when it was crass, I found myself asking things like: "How do we define "high" art anyway?" and "Okay, I just watched the Warners do a swing number for baby Jesus. Was that utterly and irredeemably irreverent, or was it the most genuine gift of themselves they could give, thereby staying true to the message of the song 'Little Drummer Boy' and not actually breaking any taboos whatsoever?"

Whereas when the new show is crass, I ask myself things like, "Did they really need to show them licking a diseased pigeon that close up?" and "Am I wasting my life, watching this?" and "Oh god why? WHY?? Where is the brain bleach??!"

[magnus-vitalis]

Not sure I mentioned it on this account but my old one was deleted or something so allow me to explain something brief before going into this post.

I am a big fan of Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss. I love animation with a passion, and have been taking film classes for 2 years now to become a director so I may make my own cartoons. I helped to fund the Ramshackle pilot (which some may not know, but the webcomic is fantastic, highly recommend it) and I quite enjoyed Long Gone Gulch pilot and currently enjoy Murder Drones. Indie animation recently has been excellent.

That said, I want to mention Lackadaisy.

Oh Lackadaisy, if only I had the words to express just how much I adore you! This pilot comes from a webcomic that started when I was like, a toddler, sometime in the early 2000s (I am 18 now but that's irrelivent). Lackadaisy's pilot came out last week on YouTube, I caught it 6 hours after it uploaded, and let me tell you.

It began, Rocky was introduced first, and I just fell in love. Rocky is such a wonderful character, a thespian, a lunatic in a way, oh I just love him dearly! His friends Ivy and Freckles? Perfect sweethearts, love em to death, but this post isn't about that.

I wanted to make this post because people are (supposedly) comparing Lackadaisy to Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss. Truthfully I haven't seen any of the comparisons, only people mentioning them, and I'd like to explain why I think the comparisons are being made.

I belive the reason the comparisons are happening, even though they are VERY different from each other, is that Hazbin Hotel came first. It was a pilot that got so much attention, so much love and adoration along with plenty of controversy, but this combined gave it popularity. Hazbin Hotel got ATTENTION. It was an indie animation, but it was of good quality and decently entertaining, even if it was a bit offensive to some, but to do well you have to take risks.

Hazbin Hotel, with it's popularity, had quickly brought attention to indie animation. People started to notice that, hey, anyone can make something, and with enough effort, it can be GOOD! And with that, animators started taking risks. They decided to risk putting time, effort, money, everything they had into making a pilot, just one, but one would be enough, one is all they needed, because now indie animators had people's attention. People wanted more. More unique, fun shows made by people who would put in the effort, the soul needed to make something good. Streaming service don't do that anymore. They want to play it safe, stick to what we know, which is why there are so many ugly, low quality adult animations, but nothing as good as Lackadaisy.

Hazbin Hotel, though fairly controversial, brought indie amination out of the dark and into the spotlight. It paved the way for animators to make something they have always wanted to make but were to afraid to do, or to even make something new they never would have thought about if it weren't for the sudden love indie animation was receiving.

Another thing, I noticed people calling Hazbin Hotel "bad" animation wise, and I'd like to add: it's not. It isn't bad, it's just not to some folk's preferences, and that's okay. Hazbin Hotel's pilot was sharp, fast, a little strange, but it wasn't bad. The animation to me feels more modern, like they were Taki g advantage of what you can do with computers in animation now, meanwhile Lackadaisy feels nostalgic, smooth, soft, comforting, like the old hand-drawn new frame every time old Disney type animation, and of course that's going to recieve more positive feedback, nostalgia and comfort always do.

All of the indie pilots you see on YouTube are good in their own way. Hazbin Hotel was so good it got picked up by A24 and is therefore no longer indie! Each show, each pilot, has been excellent in their own ways, and each one deserves all the love it can get. We should all stop worrying about which is better, which might be too offensive, and focus on which ones we like. You can ignore the ones you don't like and focus your love on the ones you do like, in fact you'll be happier if you do that!

The era of indie animation is here, and it going to be excellent. Please, go show your love for the indie animations of your choice. They deserve the love.

I am so happy we can live in a time with such quality, but I am also sad that there isn't many willing to fund these creators.

Sorry for the rambling, I am just feeling very passionately right now. Animation has been my dream longer than I can remember.

[agentnico]

The Gentlemen - season 1 (2024) review

Alright, alright, alright….. wait, McConaughey is not in this one? Oh, well that’s not alright, alright, alright…

Plot: When aristocratic Eddie inherits the family estate, he discovers that it's home to an enormous weed empire, and its proprietors aren't going anywhere.

Guy Ritchie is honestly great. Since way back when he made Lock, Stock and Snatch, he’s consistently churned out top quality entertainment, except maybe the Aladdin remake. I mean I totally get he probably got a superb pay check out of it, but honestly what in the heavens did Guy Ritchie have to do with blue genies I will never know. Regardless, where the man really excels at is when it comes to the British gangster genre. The guy can make swearing sound so poetic and melodic - it’s honestly mad how something so otherwise rude can come off utterly beautiful and delightful like a song. Especially in his 2019 film The Gentlemen, the writing in that movie was so good!! Naturally Netflix caught onto this too as we now how a spin-off series.

Going into the show I was looking forward to it but also cautious, as I was aware this new show was missing the star power of the original film. I mean can you blame me? The movie had the likes of Matthew McConaughey, Charlie Hunnam, Colin Farrell and Hugh Grant to name a few. That’s a solid load of A-listers huddled together. As for the show, the names like Theo James or Kaya Scodelario didn’t instil heavy excitement, especially with James as honestly, I always thought he was a bit of a prick. Granted this may be due to when he played the dickhead in The Inbetweeners movie, and gosh do I feel old with that reference, but he just has that face of a guy that’s so full up his own arse. Again, I’ve never met the chap, he’s probably a lovely human being, but I’ve made this prejudgment in my head and as such when I found out he was the lead of this series I naturally rolled my eyes. That being said I give Netflix props as they hired the original film director Guy Ritchie to create this spin-off and even direct some of the episodes and do a lot of the writing, so of course I was going to check this show out.

Never doubt the Guy should be a new cinematic rule. I’m proud to report that the new The Gentlemen series is a fantastic watch. It’s not the most original show, yet it plays out more-so like a Guy Ritchie’s greatest hits, as it’s got his visual flare and style, with the super cool and smooth fashion choices - honestly Scodelario has a wardrobe change every other scene and each time it felt like she was walking out of a Tom Ford fashion exhibit, and then also all the men wearing their gentlemanly suits dripping with swagger and smoking their cigars and drinking their whiskeys - the whole thing is simply infused with that signature upper-class British gangster feel. Ritchie’s signature syllable-heavy dialogue that just rolls of the tongue is also more than ever present here, and whoever decided to cast Giancarlo Esposito in this show deserves a pay rise, as Esposito’s soft-spoken melodic tone proclaiming the colourful lines of Ritchie’s rich exposition was music to the ears.

The cast here too are super game. Theo James was actually solid as the lead young duke, as he had that manly prowess and was very believable as someone who gets shit done. Kaya Scodelario I thought at first was trying too hard to mimic Michelle Dockery from the original movie, but eventually she made the role her own, and she gave enough mystery to her performance to make us feel uncertain of her true motivations. Daniel Ings as the duke loser-cocaine-addicted-brother Freddy was a lot of fun, however I would say his character became a bit overbearing and annoying in the end, as he constantly made so many mistakes throughout that I honestly kind of wanted him to get killed. It’s as if whenever the show needed an excuse for something bad to happen, they’d just get Freddy to fuck up again. Apologies for my language, I don’t usually swear in my reviews, but also this is a Guy Ritchie project we’re talking about, and he uses the F word every other sentence. So fuck it. In regards to other notable cast members, Pearce Quigley as Gospel John, a leader of a religious gang was oddly creepy yet entertaining, especially when he’d randomly scream certain lines for absolutely no reason. Pure psycho. Peter Serafinowicz and Guz Khan have amusing turns. Lastly we have two British gangster alumni Vinnie Jones and Ray Winstone. These two of course were on a different level to everyone else. Of course Vinnie Jones can be quite cheesy when it comes to acting. One can fondly remember his delivery of the line “I’m the Juggernaut, bitch!”. But when it comes to Guy Ritchie, Jones and him have always been a great pairing. Here as the duke estates’ caretaker, Vinnie is super reserved yet again super cool. I think cool is a word that can be used and abused when it comes to this show. It’s all so cool! Then Ray Winstone as the leader of the crime family… I mean it’s Ray Winstone as the leader of the crime family! He got that Godfather-level gravitas, only more Cockney, and it was great watching him do his thing.

When it comes to the story, this show is standalone to the original film. You can definitely see the inspiration though with certain narrative beats and story choices being very reflective/similar to what occurred in the film, and then the hidden weed farm under the estate looked like exactly the same set as from the film. But overall this is completely its own thing, and each episode brings more fun crime shenanigans for the characters to deal and navigate through, and it was consistently entertaining. My only complaint is that I’d say the finale a tad anti-climactic. I think with all the roughness and toughness that the characters go through, the ending tied everything up a bit too conveniently and neatly. I get I’m not to expect the most realistic thing as this is Guy Ritchie’s world, but I did want things to get a bit more messy, especially due to the build up. That being said this is a major win for Netflix, and I’m expecting a season 2 to be green-lit soon, as this is a winning package.

Overall score: 7/10

[steampunkforever]

Skyfall is a good movie. Frankly, all the Daniel Craig bond films leading up to it were good movies. Pivoting from the 06 Casino Royale’s re-contextualization of spies in the post-9/11 geopolitical landscape, Skyfall is about the consequences of the wars we fought before and the mistakes that came back to haunt us following the actions we took in those wars.

Skyfall was released in 2012, 11 years after the twin towers fell and 9 years after the 03 invasion of Iraq. We’d killed Bin Laden and now had to deal with ISIL, who’d not yet bombed the Ariana Grande concert but had at this point grown in power as a result of the US invasion in 03. Setting up the villain of the film (and his horrific disfigurement) as directly the result of MI6 decisionmaking only for him to come back and blow up MI6′s iconic HQ is evidence enough that Skyfall is a retrospective on a decade of war on terror that seems to have done nothing.

There are no better ways to show how tired and old Bond (and the empire he represents) is than to have him fail his fitness tests while in Winston Churchill’s old bunker. A waning icon of a waning empire in the decrepit remains of said empire. It’s a perfect exploration of the intersection of postcolonialism and the war on terror.

Given that the last Daniel Craig film I’d seen before starting Skyfall was Glass Onion, I watched Skyfall with the “I’m so glad that Craig stopped playing Bond so that now he can dress in sweaters in fun movies” criticisms in mind and frankly, I found they fell flat. For one thing, Bond does wear sweaters in this (very fun!) movie (as well as a cute blue adidas tracksuit with matching shoes!), but on top of that I’m starting to realize this criticism of the modern bond franchise (and other films like these) comes from the sort of people who still use the word “grimdark” for their media criticism. Just like those who unironically use “dudebro,” their contributions to serious discussion are limited. Doubly so for Skyfall because this movie is fantastic and balances tone elegantly.

I will admit that Skyfall takes a serious tone when addressing things like “the fall of the 20th century western imperialist old guard” and “thematic explorations of the war on terror and the mistakes of those gambling with the lives of millions” (If you were to try and write those into something finally similar to Trolls 2 it’d be difficult though not impossible) but I will argue that the movie is still self aware enough to understand itself as a pulpy adventure film.

This isn’t Moonraker or anything, but Skyfall is self aware enough to know what beats to hit. The villain monologues and then challenges Bond to a flintlock pistol shooting match. They keep the main bad guy in a dorky sci-fi glass prison cell. The action finale has goons (did I mention that there are goons?) showing up in a helicopter to attack a castle. They even pull the old DB5 out of mothballs so Bond can threaten the ejection seat trick. Bond fights off an evil lizard in a casino at one point. Imagine the movie in 60s Technicolor and the bones of the plot are just as camp as Goldfinger.

The movie is clearly self-aware and plays into the campier story conventions of a genre the franchise it belongs to basically started. It just doesn’t have characters shrug and go “*gulp* he’s behind me isn’t he?” Instead of lampshading the more ridiculous aspects of pulp characters from the 60s and 70s, Skyfall is so darn earnest about how cool these are. It’s self aware yet charming in its seriousness! (Jots down “James Bond Skyfall = Solarpunk?” into margin of notebook and is never heard from again)

Movies like Captain Marvel can’t say the same, and only half of that is because you can’t write a critique of Bush and Obama era imperialism while also shilling for the USAF. It’s because they can’t be serious in their ridiculousness that they end up being less campy (ashamed of truly trying) and less adult (too silly to take seriously) and ultimately less fun than movies like Skyfall.

That’s ultimately what Skyfall is. A Pulpy country-hopping spy flick about modern spies operating in shadows that are getting more cynical with every conflict. It’s not Dr. No but it’s immense fun that explores themes few other franchises are tackling these days. That’s worth a lot more than whatever Ryan Reynolds/The Rock spy film is dealing these days. And Daniel Craig got to wear a dark powder blue tracksuit too.